#but seriously making me chose is a biphobic hate crime

[kelyon]

If you could date either Belle or Rumpelstiltskin who would you date and why?

What a question to ask a bisexual! I'm a Gemini too. Choosing is NOT something I'm good at.

It's tricky too, because of the "date" part. "Date" is a perfect intersection between 'fuck' and 'marry.' (Which, for the record: Marry Belle, Fuck Rumple, Kill any other person in the world--except for Gideon or Bae.)

Dating Belle would probably lead to the more stable relationship. She's not going to go on a murder spree or sell our unborn child to the god of the underworld. And I think she'd appreciate that I'm also not a dark wizard. I like to talk my problems out with my partner instead of lying to her face about my actions and intentions. We're both nerds, but in a way that would probably be complimentary. I'm not usually one for adventure, so having a girlfriend who values bravery over safety might be fun. The biggest downside is that I don't think Belle is in a position to be a sugar momma, and my life goal is to be able to write fanfiction full time instead of wage-slaving under capitalism.

I actually think Rumple would be kind of a drag to date if you're not Belle. Cuz that's the whole appeal, of getting behind the persona to see the real man underneath. I think the Gold or Dark One act would be very intimidating and I've never been one to chose a partner that makes me feel less-than. I just don't know what I could bring to the table that would get his attention, unless he was already interested.

In which case...

Because let's be real, that would be the dream. This man is the reason I write fanfiction. Hot sex, luxury lifestyle, knowing that if anyone messed with me my boyfriend would evict them and beat them in the face with his cane. Jesus.

Dating Gold would be a roller coaster ride: thrilling, dangerous, and over way too fast. Dating Belle would be more like driving down a country road: relaxing, beautiful, and not entirely without risk. And at the end of the day, I'm a West Virginia girl. I just want those country roads to take me home.