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neptuneiris · 18 days ago

Text

could you pretend to be in love? (10/10)

The Realization

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: prom is coming and so is the end of a stage in your life. surprises and unexpected conversations take place, the question is, are you able to forgive in order to move on?

word count: 9.7k

previous part • series masterlist

this is not a drill, it's really happening!

first of all, i want to apologize for having left this story aside without finishing it. it wasn't something i decided, the writer's block precisely in this fic made me not try anymore for a while, mostly to clear my mind and my ideas, because i had no idea what to write after chapter nine 💀

so I hope you really forgive me and enjoy the last chapter 🥺 it has been an honor to have given you this little fic, I really enjoyed writing it despite the little mental breakdowns I had haha

and just like my other stories, I keep it in my heart and it will always be here for whenever you want to reread (I will make sure to post it in AO3, don't worry) i'm also thinking of doing a poll about the epilogue where you guys will decide if you want one or prefer this ending. let me know after you finish reading the chapter 🤗

enjoy and I look forward to your comments!

It still all feels like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. An unwanted dream. A nightmare.

And every time a new day comes, you feel like a human being who does everything in automatic mode, not because you really want to.

In front of your dad you must pretend that everything is fine, but as soon as you leave home and get to school, you feel a huge weight and a sadness that nothing and no one can take away from you.

You feel the stares of some people on you, if not all of them. But the truth is that you feel so emotionally drained that you don't even pay attention to them.

Many would say that not being accepted to a college doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Nor does it mean that your chances are over because there is still too much time to be able to do everything you want.

And you accept that they are right. All is not lost because you didn't get accepted.

When you were rejected the first time when you applied in conjunction with the scholarship, disillusionment sets in. There is disappointment in yourself for not being enough and there is this question that constantly floats in your mind; why others do and I don't? Why am I not worthy of the same fate as them?

Maybe it's age, but it's inevitable to feel that rejection and failure after having so many plans and having in mind the idea of making your dad proud by telling him that you've been accepted to college.

And not just any college, but Citadel.

But so far, you haven't had the courage to tell him instead that you won't go to any college. You just can't. You don't know what exactly you'll tell him and you don't want to face it yet. You don't want to see his disappointed face so you need more time.

So instead of dreams and aspirations, as well as preparing to live a college life, you prepare and focus on getting a job. You don't see employment as a bad thing either. You just wish you didn't have to focus on it right now.

You haven't talked to Aemond either. You haven't even seen him.

You're in some classes together. But you barely pay attention. Even though you used to notice his presence before and now, unconsciously, you ignore it. Now your mind is too busy with your worries.

It's like being in a disconnect. You are just there, existing. But you barely talk, barely react and barely do. You just want classes to end soon so you can go home.

Of course, he hasn't stopped trying.

He wants to talk to you, but you won't let him. You just don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Even though you feel that emptiness he has left, you immediately force yourself not to think about it.

It's like pain and confusion mixed together, but your pride and that same pain makes you prefer to stay away.

You don't even care anymore what people say about him and you. It's obvious that the two of you are no longer in a 'relationship'. No one knows what happened and neither one of you is clarifying anything.

Which you are grateful for, so as not to feed the topic in the whole school.

Meanwhile, Alysanne and Cregan are almost always around you, trying to cheer you up and make you endure school better. You couldn't be more grateful for both of them either.

"So what are your plans for the weekend?"

Alysanne asks as the three of you are sitting on a bench in the outside courtyard. On the bench where you and Aemond made the fake relationship contract, precisely. But you try not to focus on that as the three of you eat lunch.

"We're going to the movies, did you forget already?" asks Cregan, confused.

"Huh? This weekend?"

"You forgot," he assures her.

"I didn't forget!" she lies, nervous.

"We agreed to go on Saturday. To the ten o'clock function for the horror movie."

Oh yes, the two of them are dating. Just as you and Aemond have 'broken up', so you try not to feel more distressed about it.

"Do you want to come, Y/N?"

You raise your gaze to Alysanne, confused, who gives you a smile.

"It's a date, isn't it? Just the two of you."

"We'll have more dates," she makes a nonchalant gesture.

Poor Cregan.

"Besides, it would do you good to clear your head a bit. So, what better than going to the movies? Right, Cregan?"

"Yeah, it'll do you good," he nods.

"No, thank you," you say softly, "I don't want to interfere with your dates. Besides, I'm not in the mood to go out. I'd rather stay home."

"You're not going to interfere with anything. Besides, you've stayed home enough days," she reproaches you, "Come on. Even one night. We'll have a great time."

"If you don't want to go to the movies, we can go somewhere else," Cregan proposes.

You grimace slightly.

"No, thank you. I..." you sigh, "I really appreciate it, guys. But I'd rather stay home."

Staying home to look for a proper job and plan to tell your dad you won't be going to college, like you've been doing for the past few days.

"Are you sure?" Alysanne looks at you not entirely convinced.

"Yeah," you shrug, "Don't worry about me."

"Of course I worry about you."

"You should focus on your date," you say as you give Cregan a meaningful look.

"Totally," Cregan nods, "In fact, she'll plan the next date."

"What?" she looks at him in horror.

"What you heard."

"And why me?"

"Because I always do."

Your talk with them doesn't last long as soon the bell rings and they head off to their respective classes, except for you, who has a free hour.

So you stand on the bench alone, just looking outside and nothing else, enjoying your lunch unhurriedly and in peace and quiet.

You let out a long breath and distract yourself for a few moments in your social networks, watching as some people post their reactions from when they were accepted to colleges. Everyone screams, smiles and cries of happiness with their families.

Except for others who quietly show how they were not accepted. But they open more emails and get accepted to other colleges.

You wish you were part of them.

You close those apps and go to Tiktok to distract yourself for a while by watching funny videos or storytimes.

When suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching behind you, which catches your attention. You turn your head, peeking over your shoulder and then you see him, Aemond.

He stops as soon as your eyes look directly into his, as if you've caught him in the act of robbery. Which reveals how very cautious he was being to approach and not scare you.

You see the uncertainty in his gaze, the insecurity and the wariness all at the same time. Which is rare for him, as he doesn't allow himself to look so vulnerable. But you understand why he's this way with you.

First you think about getting up and leaving him with the word in his mouth, like you've been doing lately. But for some reason, it's like finally your mind resigns and your body will force you to stay where you're sitting. And you don't even know why.

Or maybe it's because he's begging you with his gaze not to leave and listen to what he has to say after so many weeks.

Inevitably your nerves invade you and neither he nor you say anything for a few long seconds. He just stands still, as if testing the waters, waiting to see if you will move away from him again attentively.

Then he swallows hard and watches you with a sad but hopeful expression.

“Can I come closer?”

You press your lips together, think about it for a few seconds and finally give him a barely visible nod.

You turn your gaze to the front and begin to put your tupper with food in your backpack. While at the same time Aemond approaches you, cautious but firm. And surprised that you are allowing him to do this.

You let out a long breath and bring a hand to your hair, nervous, not knowing why.

Then he steps in front of you and only at that moment, you realize he has a folder in his hand. A folder that he sets down on the table in front of you, with smooth, cautious movements.

“I just came to drop this off for you. Nothing else.”

You raise your gaze to look at it confused for a moment, then look back down at the folder in front of you.

“It's the paperwork you need to submit to finalize the scholarship process,” he says softly, “Classes start in two months and by now you should have received an email from the university with all the information as an incoming student.”

Wait, what?

Your mind immediately questions, as you frown more and feel your heart start to beat too fast.

“What are you talking about?” you ask in a low murmur, not understanding.

And Aemond lets out a long breath.

“I'm keeping my promise.”

His words echo steadily in your mind.

And you dare to raise your gaze to him again, confused, serious and incredulous. And what he does is lower his gaze, sorrowful and unsure. However… he is firm with what he is saying.

Then a tingle begins to run through your hands, at the same time as you feel the nervousness sweep through your body like a wave. You part your lips as you look at the folder in front of you and with trembling hands, you pick it up and open it.

The first thing you see is the university logo and an overwhelming sensation sweeps over your body and mind as you see what appears to be a letter addressed to you.

Miss. Y/N Y/L/N, Faculty of Law. Official documentation for the scholarship process.

You feel the air you were holding in your lungs slowly leave your mouth. And a huge weight that you felt in your chest is lifted, allowing you to rest and breathe properly.

At first, you think your mind is playing a joke on you. You think he's doing it. But… this is real. More real than you can imagine.

“I know I didn't do things the right way…

Aemond begins to speak, noticing the mix of shock and confusion in your gaze, breathing hard through your mouth.

“I know I took you for granted and that I hurt you,” he says softly, “But that was never my intention, Y/N. I-I… I thought I would get everything under control. That I would work it out and get everything done on time. But, it's just… I don't even have justification.”

You feel tears begin to form in your eyes. But you control yourself. You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to let his words make you break down in tears.

As if the fact that you have in front of you one of the papers confirming and assuring you that you will finally go to the college of your dreams isn't enough.

“I should have acted sooner and looked for solutions. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. And you don't know how sorry I am,” he says softly and vulnerably, his gaze lowered, ”I also don't expect you to forgive me for keeping a promise and asking for forgiveness. I know I fucked up and things can never go back to the way they were. But I just want you to know…” he takes a moment, "That I really did fall in love with you."

Fuck.

“What I felt for you was real. It was never a game or a pretense. I was just… afraid,” he admits, ”Afraid of fucking up what we had. Afraid it would all fall apart if I told you the truth. But… I ruined everything,” he says with a resigned tone, ”You don't have to talk to me again either if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you the truth and let you know how sorry I am.”

Each word echoes in your mind, with the weight of his regret and his sincerity. You feel the tremble in your body, not helping the fact that you are still staring at the college sheet addressed to your name.

And you hold back, trying to calm the chaos being unleashed inside you by his words.

When he doesn't say anything else, you certainly won't and you both fall silent for a moment, as the weight of his words and the meaning of them fill the space. Until he speaks again.

“I won't bother you anymore,” he moves forward a bit back to the way he came, “Best of luck at Citadel. You deserve it, you really do,” he tells you with a small smile that is sad but genuine at the same time.

Then his figure disappears from your field of vision and you hear him start to walk away. And at that moment, the world seems to stop for you.

Unable to help yourself, you turn your head and watch him walk away with tears in your eyes. There is something in his walk, in that slight slope of his shoulders, that screams the burden he carries. And you don't know why, but… you want to call him, to tell him something that will ease the knot you both feel.

However, you know that won't fix anything.

You feel the air leave you, his words still echoing in your mind. You stare at the folder again, trying to remember what this achievement meant to you before this moment, before he came and stirred all the emotions in you.

You try to be strong, you try not to let this affect you more than it should, you think of the positive. But you can't.

So still in disbelief, excitement, sadness and with all your emotions mixed up, you take your phone, unlock it and open your emails app. And there, your most recent email, you read: Citadel University.

With your hands shaking, you press the email and read in slightly larger letters: Welcome to Citadel University! Miss Y/N, Y/L/N. Faculty of Law, Registration number: 31982.

Then, finally, you can't hold back the tears any longer and you put a hand to your mouth, letting them out, with confused and intense feelings coming over you.

Your father's loving and proud words, hugs and kisses make you smile.

It took you four days to finally break the news to him. And seeing him so happy, excited and proud, made you finally stop feeling so bad for even a moment. You also broke the news to Alysanne and Cregan, who were very happy for you.

Neither of them mentioned Aemond, which you appreciated. But there is the clear acknowledgement to him for making this possible.

You obviously left the job search behind and instead started contacting the university. You sent the missing and necessary documents, they sent you information about the scholarship, your schedule, classes and also about your dorm.

It's like finally this void in your chest is being filled as you finally see this all happening. And as you look at the pictures of the university, with old, elegant and modern architecture at the same time, that excitement rises in you.

However, what you feel is not happiness in its entirety.

In fact, you feel in the middle of a crossroads; joy is mixed with sadness. And the satisfaction of fulfilling the dream feels incomplete.

The worst part is that you know why.

But you don't think about it too much either. You don't want to. On the contrary, you force yourself to repeat over and over again that this was the plan all along. You force yourself to enjoy it and get excited.

You force yourself to think that what happened outside of getting into the college of your dreams was for a reason, but in the end you got what you really wanted.

But, deep down inside, you think about how you wish things could have been different.

At the same time, prom is just around the corner.

At first, you thought about not attending, but of course, Alysanne wouldn't let you think about it anymore. She dragged you with her to the dress store and sentenced that it will be a date of three, her, Cregan and you.

You tried to persuade her, to make her understand that Cregan only wants her as his date. But, of course, Cregan as the great friend he also is, told you it would be fun.

Certainly neither he nor you nor Alysanne have ever been on a three-way date and he told you; what better than to try it at the prom?

The prom preparations are done. Now the important thing is to turn in final projects and get rid of all the pending with the professors.

And that's what you're doing now.

With your headphones on and a notebook along with a book on your table, you're about to finish a long, boring project. When you notice how a figure suddenly obscures your workspace and you raise your gaze almost instantly, curious.

Helaena.

You remove your headphones, surprised to see her as she smiles softly at you.

“Hi,” you say to her in a soft tone, putting your project aside for a moment.

“Hi,” she says to you in the same soft tone, ”I… am I interrupting you?”

“Oh no,” you say nonchalantly, “I mean, yes, but I'm just about to finish it anyway. Don't worry.”

She looks at you a little unsure.

“Are you sure? It's just… I don't know,“ she shrugs, 'It's been a while since we last talked and I didn't know if I could come up to you.”

Again you ignore the small sharp pain in your chest at the memory of Aemond and try to look like you're not at all affected by having his sister in front of you.

“Yeah, well…” you try to smile a little, ”Things have been… intense lately.”

She nods as she takes a seat across from you.

“So it's official?” she asks you with a sad tone as she watches you with a sad little smile, “Like, I mean… you and my brother aren't coming back together?”

This time, the sharp pain in your chest is stronger and more persistent. As well as her question hits you like a wave.

How can you tell her that, in reality, everything you and Aemond had was false? That it was all part of an agreement?

The guilt begins to consume you as you see her face full of expectations and the worst thing is that it's not something you should tell her. That should be Aemond. But, still, you feel the urge to cry and you feel the need to finally tell her the truth, for the sake of everyone who made you believe the fake relationship.

“Helaena…” you begin, your voice barely a whisper, ”I-I… need to be honest with you.”

You take a breath, expecting the worst and imagining a series of difficult emotions to deal with.

“This whole thing between Aemond and I… it was fake,” you speak fearfully and sorrowfully, ”We were just… pretending for our own convenience. It wasn't…” you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment heavily, ”It wasn't real.”

You expected surprise, indignation, incredulity, anger, and more, all at the same time. But to your greatest surprise and bewilderment, she doesn't seem remotely surprised. Instead, she just smiles softly at you, full of understanding, as if she's been waiting for this moment for a long time.

“I already knew that,” she tells you in a serene tone that disarms you.

You feel your lungs hold all your air and you watch her completely stunned, surprised and confused with your parted lips. Then you blink, processing her words.

“What?”

“Aemond told me everything the moment you set up your rules,” she replies calmly, “The truth is, he never hides anything from me. He can't. So I already knew what you both were doing from the beginning.”

You continue to watch her in shock and disbelief, unable to believe it, trying to understand how she could have kept this to herself so naturally.

And in that moment, with disbelief and surprise beating in your chest, you realize that in every single conversation you had with her, right here at school, at parties, even at that family dinner that ended in disaster thanks to Aegon's drunkenness… she had always known.

“Though I don't always approve of his decisions, I understood why he did it… and why you did too.”

But your mind is still short-circuiting, processing and comprehending.

You relive in your mind every moment you went out of your way to pretend, believing you were fooling everyone, especially her. And yet, there's Helaena, looking at you with an expression of calm and empathy that completely disarms you.

“So you knew?” you are able to formulate in asking in a breathy whisper.

She nods, smiling softly.

“Easy, only I knew.“

“And you're not upset?” you ask confused, still waiting for some sign of reproach.

“Not at all. On the contrary, I'm relieved,” she tells you honestly, ”People made fun of Aemond after Alys. And, well, that left a mark on him. You know what rumors are like here.”

“Oh, believe me I do.”

“And they made him miserable. It also didn't help at all that Alys was his first girlfriend and his first formal relationship but the two of them didn't love each other, it was just obsession and whim,” she says absurdly, "And with you, at least, he got some peace back, even if it was temporary."

“But then…” you look at her blankly, “Why did you ask me if we'll get back together?”

Helaena sighs, her gaze soft but intense.

“Because in the end the two of you really fell in love. I saw you at Dragonstone and it was… too obvious.”

You remain silent, remembering those moments.

Both of you walking through those historical corridors, seeing and learning absolutely everything about old Valyria. Both holding hands, fascinated in the aquarium watching everything around or walking together on the shore of the beach, laughing, exchanging glances, hugging and kissing every now and then that everything felt too sincere to be pretending.

You relived every moment and every detail that you wished you could go back to when everything was fine.

Aemond had been different with you those days, a side of him that you had never seen and had thought only existed because of his performance in the fake relationship you had both agreed to.

But even you, being there, without the pressure to pretend, you felt the barriers fall between the two of you, because it was all real.

“He fell in love with you, Y/N,” Helaena tells you sincerely, “You… you did too?”

You feel a lump form in your throat and you let the question float in the air for a moment. The answer is so clear in your mind that it hurts; and yet, saying it out loud feels like breaking a promise you had made to protect yourself.

“Yes, I did too,” you admit, sadness settling in your chest, "But…" you take a deep breath, watching her, ”What happened with Floris even though it was a mistake… and then, the fact that he didn't tell me the truth about Citadel, it really hurt me.”

Helaena nods softly, not judging you, simply listening to you. And when she speaks, her tone is so serene and understanding that it comforts you.

“My brother has this amazing ability to do things in the worst possible way,” she says with a small resigned smile, ”Floris was a mistake. He was drunk and well, he told me that before that both of you have had a disagreement, although that doesn't justify it, I know. I'm just saying, it really was a mistake.”

Your mind momentarily flashes back to that moment, when you tried to end the fake relationship after the family dinner thing.

“And as for the Citadel thing…” she pauses, searching for the right words, “He freaked out, Y/N. He didn't know how to tell you without ruining everything. And I know that doesn't justify it either, but…” she sighs, ”He was going to do whatever it took to hold up his part of the contract. He just didn't count on our grandfather suddenly getting difficult. Our family is already so fucked up as it is, that was the last thing he expected.”

Her words suddenly make you feel interested and curious about a specific topic you hadn't remembered until now. But Helaena continues to speak and you listen to her.

“Even though his method was disastrous, in his mind, he was protecting you,” she says, ”Again, I'm not justifying it. But I know he was desperate to get you that place at Citadel no matter what because he knew you deserved it. And…” she smiles at you with a gesture of resignation, "I think he loves you enough to do stupidly risky things. Even go against grandfather and act behind his back knowing how much trouble he could get into.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and feel a knot of emotions form in your chest. Everything she's telling you opens a door to feelings you'd tried to repress, to thoughts you'd rather bury.

You take a deep breath, remembering again those days at Dragonstone.

You relive every moment, when words were redundant and the silence between the two of you felt so full of meaning. He was always watching you in a way that seemed to say everything and nothing at the same time. He was slowly revealing that vulnerable part of himself that he seemed to have lost after Alys.

But as much as you want to think straight, your thoughts are a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the pain of it all consumes you but on the other, there's the certainty of how you feel about him.

Even when you're hurting, you know you can't ignore it.

“I know he's still waiting, deep down, for maybe…” Helaena pauses, “Maybe there's a chance for both of you.”

The expression on her face is so sincere and tender that you find it impossible not to believe her, and the thought fills you with a mixture of relief and pain. Because, despite everything, you still love him, and that truth is impossible to deny.

“I don't know,” you confess, biting your lips and feeling your eyes water, ”I-I…I don't know what to do. I mean, we're already graduating. We'll go to the same college but I doubt we'll see each other, you know? And I just… n-no… I don't know….

“Hey, hey,” Helaena tells you instantly, ”It's okay. We don't have to talk about this anymore. I didn't want to overwhelm you or burden you, I just wanted to tell you my opinion and for you to talk to someone in case you needed to,” she tells you softly, comfortingly, ”Still, it's something between the two of you and we can talk about anything else.”

You thank her with a relieved look, her gesture of empathy appearing as she watches you with her soft, understanding expression. And then, she speaks with a more casual tone, changing the subject with a lightness that relieves you a bit.

“You have everything ready for graduation? Are you bringing a date?”

“Hum… yes, I already have everything ready,” you nod, ”And no, I'll go with my two friends. I think you met them, Alysanne and Cregan.”

“Oh yes! I know them,” she says with a smile, ”And I'm going with a friend too. I don't really like the idea of everything being so formal, so going with a friend will make it all more fun.”

Both are silent for a few moments, and although the conversation has taken on a lighter tone, you feel there's still a question trapped in your chest. And at the memory of that day, an impulse prompts you to speak before you can stop yourself.

“Helaena,” you call her softly, "I… can I ask you something?" you ask almost in a whisper, lowering your gaze a little, hesitating.

She watches you curiously and nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hum…” you stir in your seat, “That night, at dinner, Aegon said something… about your dad not caring about you. What did he mean by that?”

She immediately looks like she wasn't expecting that question at all, which immediately makes you regret it, but then she softens her whole gaze, not looking at all uncomfortable or upset.

“Oh, well… our dad…” she begins to speak, choosing her words precisely, “Well, he was always very neglectful with us. He always left all the work to mom to take care of us, even when she had to work too so she wasn't totally dependent on him,” she explains, ”It was chaos for a long time. Aegon and I lost years of education because of his lack of commitment.”

“Really?” you look at her attentively and surprised.

“He missed the date to register us for kindergarten in our proper time. He always forgot our birthdays or some important date. But, of course, that never happened to him with our older stepsister, Rhaenyra.”

You remember Aemond mentioning her, though not much.

“And you don't talk to her?”

“Yes, of course,” she says with a small smile, “She was never at blame. In fact, by comparison, she always took us into account and never forgot our existence,” she explains, ”And well, eventually mom divorced him. And the only good thing dad did in the end was to mention us and give us parts of his inheritance in his will.”

Helaena's sincerity and calmness in sharing this about her life surprises you and, at the same time, makes you understand the complicated family history behind them. Now it's no wonder why Aegon was so angry to bring up the subject of parents.

Nor do you ignore the connection you begin to feel towards them, obviously because of your mother and her abandonment.

“It must have been very difficult, for everyone,” you murmur, ”I'm sorry to hear that.”

She nods, though her expression doesn't reflect bitterness, but something akin to mature acceptance.

“Yes, but that made us strong,” she says with a slight smile, "Aegon was the one who resented his absence the most, as you could see," she tells you knowingly, ”You know, being the eldest and all. But we're more… happy now, now that he's gone,” she confesses.

You let out a long breath, watching her with compassion.

“Thank you for telling me. I didn't mean to intrude, really.”

“No, it's fine, it really doesn't affect me,” she assures you softly, ”After that Aegon scene at dinner, it's valid you know. So don't worry.”

You both smile softly at each other, expressions warm and sincere, falling silent. When Helaena stands up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Well…” she says, letting out a slight sigh, adjusting her backpack, ”I should be going now. I also have projects to finish.”

“Sure,” you nod, ”Thanks for coming and talking to me.”

“Oh, there's nothing to thank you for. Anytime. I'll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

You both say goodbye and you watch her walk away in the direction of the main building, her silver hair shining in the sunlight, as you let out a long breath and put your headphones back in.

Prom.

You really don't understand what you're doing here. But it's all Alysanne's doing, like the makeup, hairstyle and dress.

You get out of Cregan's car with a beautiful lilac metallic dress on. Finding it wasn't hard at all, since it was like love at first sight, especially since it has a princess cut. And upon measuring it, Alysanne also decided that it was the one.

The hairstyle was also easy, after all, you didn't want anything too voluminous or too fancy. So a wavy style in your hair with a crown of silver flowers at the crown of your head was the perfect touch.

Alysanne on the other hand chose a beautiful wine colored dress that flatters her at every angle, deciding to gather her hair with two strands falling on either side of her face, making her look absolutely elegant and gorgeous.

And once all three of you are ready, Cregan dressed in an impeccable dark suit, offers you both his arms and you enter the grand ballroom of the luxurious hotel together.

The ballroom is illuminated by the typical disco balls hanging from the high ceiling, casting silver and white sparkles that create an almost magical atmosphere.

The decor is elegant and subtle, with centerpieces of fresh flowers and candles giving each table a touch of romantic charm.

You feel a mixture of nerves and excitement as you enter, as if it's all part of a dream. After all, it is your prom and tonight symbolizes a chapter you are about to close, your high school years.

The dance floor is in the center, surrounded by tables in a circle and already some of the guests have started to dance, getting lost in the rhythm of the soft music that fills the atmosphere thanks to the DJ.

Although not only disco balls light up the place, but also some colored lights to make the atmosphere more colorful.

If someone had told you in your freshman year everything that was going to happen in your final year, you would have laughed out loud and wouldn't have believed it at all, because your life was too boring.

But here you are, with still those events in mind, where at the end of the night, you will put them behind you.

You adjust your lilac dress, whose princess-cut skirt falls in soft layers to the floor. The fabric moves with you, as if it were an extension of your own footsteps, and the color shimmers delicately under the silver lights.

The three of you make your way to one of the tables to take a seat and you take a closer look around you as the decorations and you also see familiar faces of some of your classmates, some laughing in groups and others on the dance floor with their dates.

And Alysanne, excited and obsessed with everything, wants to have memories of the whole night and soon the three of you are taking a long selfie session with her phone.

Cregan complains about too many photos and the laughter of the three fills the air as Alysanne continues to make sure she captures the best shots, changing angles and poses.

Alysanne, with a huge smile, spins around on herself and then grabs your hands to dance with her, laughing every time you both take a step out of rhythm. You can feel her pure happiness, an excitement that doesn't take long to become contagious and where Cregan soon joins in.

The dance floor is filling up and the sparkles of the lights reflecting off everyone's costumes and dresses create an enchanting and magical atmosphere.

The DJ starts mixing more upbeat songs, and you see how everyone is having fun, laughing and dancing.

Immediately this catches Alysanne's attention and she drags the three of you onto the dance floor with infectious laughter. Before you know it, you're in the middle of the dance floor with them, surrounded by movement and music.

The music beats on the floor and vibrates in your chest, and, slowly, you begin to let loose, moving to the beat of the songs as the colored lights swirl above you all.

“I'm going to get a drink!” you let them both know over the music.

You have no idea exactly how much time passes that you find yourself dancing, enjoying the night, the echo of laughter and the warmth of the crowd.

The euphoria makes you forget and enjoy yourself as you feel your throat dry and your feet start to ache, with your body starting to beg for water and a little break.

“Okay!” Cregan nods, throwing you a smile, still dancing with Alysanne.

You smile knowingly, since after all, these two deserve to have their moment, and you walk away towards the table where there are different desserts and the drinks for all the graduates.

You take a bottle of water, and as you drink, the immediate relief makes you close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the coolness.

And only at that moment, standing alone and a little apart, you notice the glances of some people around you, mainly girls passing by you and whispering something between them, looking at you out of the corner of their eyes.

Great.

You thought you were past all this but even at prom it doesn't stop.

You take a deep breath and look out onto the dance floor, where you make out Alysanne and Cregan dancing close together, smiling and animated. You certainly don't want to interrupt them and you look around again, trying to distract yourself with anything you can find to rest your feet on.

You try not to make a big deal of it and look back at them for just a few moments with a serious look on your face and again try to focus on regaining your energy, telling yourself that this shouldn't affect you.

You remind yourself that you are here for you and your friends, and that is all that should matter to you.

When your gaze unconsciously focuses on Floris.

With her arm intertwined with a boy, whom you recognize from the lacrosse team, she looks absolutely elegant with a beautiful hairstyle and a gorgeous pink dress.

And as she joins the party, she seems totally focused on enjoying the evening, her expression relaxed and happy.

You look away from her, focused on something else, where your attention slips unintentionally to Alys, surrounded by her friends.

In the distance, suddenly her gaze meets yours and you quickly look away, not knowing why but… you really don't want to deal with or care about those people anymore.

She's wearing dark makeup and a sensual emerald green dress that completely clings to her body and highlights her curves. She looks completely beautiful, but knowing her attitude and behavior, it makes her lose her charm.

You watch Helaena for a few more seconds, her energy lighting up the dance floor, when suddenly, a tall, familiar figure catches your attention on the other side of the room in the crowd.

Instead, you focus on Helaena, who you find among all the people dancing, getting carried away by the atmosphere and in the company of the friend who told you.

Her silver hair is swaying to the music and she shines in the middle of everyone in that beautiful sky blue dress and gold accessories, looking absolutely gorgeous.

Aemond is standing a few feet away, talking to Aegon, both looking absolutely handsome for the evening. Then, the atmosphere around you seems to fade a bit and he's the only one who catches your eye in the middle of the crowd.

And that mixture of emotions about him rises in your chest again.

You take a closer look at who is around him and it is only Aegon. You don't see any girl hanging on his arm or anything, so apparently he has come unaccompanied, just like you.

He is dressed in a dark suit that highlights his slender figure and impeccable posture, just like Aegon. The silver light of the disc balls bring out his silver hair and his face so perfectly detailed, giving it a glow that is almost unreal to you.

Your gaze lingers on him longer than you had anticipated. From a distance, you can notice the lack of expressions on his face and the small twitch of his lips as he speaks to Aegon, looking around him without really showing any emotion.

That eye contact takes the air out of you. The memory of all the things you shared, the conversations, the looks, the touching and kissing… it all comes over you.

And at that very moment, as if sensing the weight of your attention, Aemond looks up and sees you beyond the crowd, apart and alone. The visual connection is instantaneous, almost electric, and suddenly you feel all the people and bustle around you fade away.

You can't deny the attraction and deep affection that, even now, beat intensely in your chest. And, for an instant, you wonder if he too feels the same mix of nostalgia and sadness in the midst of it all.

You notice how he looks you up and down, lingering on every detail of what you're wearing today, his eyes shining, filled with a kind of wary hope and longing, completely stealing your breath.

Then, his body language tells you he's getting ready to move. Coming at you, with her determined gaze.

Oh God.

A sense of panic invades every part of your body. And before he can do anything, you look away and quickly make your way to the dance floor, blending into the crowd, heading towards your friends.

The music booms in your ears and your thoughts are in complete chaos, hitting you one after the other.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you tell yourself that you just want to enjoy the night, to stop thinking about him and what was, even if it's only for a few hours.

So time passes, the energy of the dance becomes more relaxed, and though you manage to avoid crossing paths directly with Aemond, his presence seems to haunt your mind like a lingering ghost, one that doesn't dissipate with the music or the bright lights.

You look around from time to time, and out of the corner of your eye you notice that he also seems to avoid being too close to you, although you can't help thinking that maybe he is also looking for you in the crowd, as you are looking for him.

Until, finally, the atmosphere immediately changes.

The lights dim and the silver and warm tones transform the room into an intimate place. Couples begin to approach the dance floor, holding hands, to dance to the slow songs. And you decide it's the perfect time to take a break.

You smile at Cregan and Alysanne, giving them another moment again, feeling a twinge of tenderness and, at the same time, unexpected loneliness.

You take a seat at one of the nearby tables, watching as the dance floor fills with couples slowly swaying to the music.

Dresses and suits intertwine, and for a moment, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of the atmosphere, allowing yourself to feel invisible in the midst of all that harmony.

You watch Floris dancing with that boy, Alysanne with Cregan of course, and Helaena dancing with her friend, both with amused smiles and talking softly without taking the slow dance so seriously. You also see Aegon dancing very close with a girl.

And as your eyes wander around the dance floor, your gaze focuses again on his figure, which seems just as lonely as yours.

A few tables away, Aemond sits alone, surveying the dance floor with an expression you fail to fully decipher. His fingers drum on the rim of his glass, and, for a moment, he seems lost in his own thoughts. He looks calm, almost vulnerable.

You stare at him longer than you think and sigh, averting your gaze, and as the seconds pass, the urge to stand still and do nothing begins to fade.

You bite the inside of your cheek and begin to move your foot up and down rapidly, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast. You watch all the people dancing again, hesitating.

Then you let out a long breath and without knowing exactly why, you take a deep breath and stand up. With slow steps, a momentum and a calmness you try to maintain, you head towards him.

As you get closer, you notice how his gaze, which was lost on the dance floor, suddenly focuses on you, noticing before out of the corner of his eye your approaching figure. Surprise and bewilderment mixed with something else appears in his gaze and you stop in front of him, nervous but determined.

Then neither of you say anything for a few moments. The same nerves make you unable to speak and the two of you just stand there, watching each other.

You feel how some people around you suddenly have their attention focused on both of you, waiting for what you will do, but you don't even pay attention to them. You just focus completely on him.

Until you sigh.

"Do you dance?" you ask softly and nervous.

The words seem to break the spell, and Aemond blinks, clearly surprised and somehow confused.

You watch the expression on his face, as if he's processing every word you've just said, looking for some hint of doubt or change of heart in your expression.

"S-sure," he says still confused, not expecting this at all.

There's a mix of emotions in his eyes, confusion, surprise and nervousness, something you wouldn't have expected to see in him. And you, not wanting to drag this out any longer than necessary, extend your hand to him.

He watches your face attentively and then your hand, still surprised, to finally take it gently. His fingers intertwine with yours, sending an electricity throughout your body through his touch as he stands up.

You swallow hard, feeling your heart beating like crazy and nervousness invading your whole system. And without another word, you both head for the dance floor.

Then, everything around you fades away, the murmurs and laughter, even the music itself becomes a distant whisper, and only he remains, next to you.

He places a hand on your waist, his touch delicate, as if he doesn't want to do anything that could break this fragile instant. You take his other hand, intertwining it with yours and as you both begin to move to the rhythm of the music, you feel how a mixture of emotions floods each of your senses.

Aemond watches you, his eyes fixed on yours and with a nervous little smile on his lips, as if he can't believe this is really happening.

The music moves forward, slow, allowing you to glide in front of each other. As his steps synchronize with yours, the movements become smooth and natural.

And in a moment you realize that you both are completely absorbed in each other, as if nothing and no one could interrupt this bubble that surrounds you.

Finally, Aemond breaks the silence, his voice barely audible over the music and shy, watching you with a gleam in his eye.

"You look beautiful."

He says to you, his words so sincere and emotionally charged that you feel a surge of warmth wash over you.

You wish his words didn't make you melt. But they do. And everything about him, every gesture, his closeness, the firm, protective touch of his hand on your waist, the way he holds you, as if you were something precious and delicate, envelops and intoxicates you.

"Thank you," you reply, feeling a soft smile appear on your lips, "You too... you look very handsome."

He smiles, marking the dimples on either side of his cheeks.

"I wasn't expecting you to come over," he admits, his eyes revealing something between vulnerability and surprise.

The tone of his voice, so soft and honest, makes you feel a warmth you haven't experienced in a long time.

"I didn't know I would," you reply with a barely perceptible smile, "But I thought, maybe... I don't want to spend the night running away," you confess.

He nods, not looking away.

"I didn't want it to be like that either."

His hand on your waist pulls you slightly closer to him with a firm movement and the slight brush makes you aware of the closeness between the two of you.

You feel your thoughts cloud over and you let yourself become more enveloped by him, unable to help it.

His chin brushes your forehead and you feel that at any moment your heart will jump out of your chest. It's an insistent, powerful beat that seems to resonate with every breath you take at his side.

Then, Aemond lowers his voice, his tone becoming softer, almost melancholy, as if his words are a secret shared only between the two of you.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know? When I gave you the folder.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know, when I gave you the folder," he confesses, with a certain melancholy tone, "But I knew it wouldn't be fair to ask you that and I really didn't want to hurt you anymore."

The sincerity in his tone pierces you, and you feel your own barriers begin to crumble. You listen to him with your heart pounding, absorbing every word.

Aemond sighs and his fingers tighten slightly at your waist.

"And a moment ago, when I saw you so perfect and so beautiful in this dress... I realized how much I wished I had walked through those doors with you on my arm," he says with a longing and sadness.

The music continues to envelop you and you feel his confession reverberate through you, intensifying every sensation, every emotion.

The strength of his words, of the connection that has been created between the two of you in the middle of this song, makes the air seem thick and charged with meanings that don't need to be explained.

Then you raise your gaze to him and you both stare at each other in silence, where your words seem to get caught in your throat.

His eyes roam over your face, as if he wants to remember every detail, as if he wants to take this moment with him. There is a sadness and a softness in his gaze that you haven't seen before, and it makes something in your chest tighten.

And again his voice breaks through the soft silence that envelops you.

"I'm sorry... for everything," he says barely a whisper, laden with a sincerity that resonates deeply.

His fingers trace slow circles on your back, small gestures that seem to try to comfort you and to comfort him too. The contact between the two of you is firm and warm, and yet, you feel as if Aemond fears that at any moment this could disappear.

For a moment, the music seems to fade, leaving only your heartbeat and the echo of his voice in the air.

You feel the urge to speak, to say something that would ease the vulnerability on his face, but you find it difficult to organize your thoughts.

Instead, you opt for a simple but meaningful gesture. You propel yourself a little towards him and leave a soft kiss on his cheek, then rest your head on his chest and gently inhale his expensive cologne, being comforting enough for you.

"It's okay," you murmur.

He lets out a sigh of relief, mixed with longing and makes his grip on your waist tighter, not wanting to let go. Then, he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head, resting his head on yours as you both continue to sway gently to the music.

"Thank you for giving me this dance," he murmurs.

You place a soft, small smile on your lips, then raise your gaze to his, watching him with nothing but fondness.

He continues to watch you with that softness and one of his hands goes up to your cheek. In a delicate, almost fearful touch, his thumb runs over your skin in a gesture that is both protective and vulnerable.

Then he rests his forehead against yours and you both close your eyes, as you lean into him.

You both fall silent, letting the slow rhythm of the music carry you away, allowing the moment to linger, in a fragile and honest peace.

You feel that you could stay like this, in this bubble of time and silence, without the need for words, because, in this instant, you both understand what has been said and what doesn't need to be said.

The song changes to another slow one and you both lose yourselves in the moment, enjoying it, not wanting it to end.

Time seems to stand still as you dance together, moving slowly and leisurely, as if nothing and no one else exists. The sounds of the party fade around you, leaving only the beating of your hearts and the faint brush of your breaths.

Your eyes close as you let go, feeling his hand on your back and the warmth his body gives off, so close and so full of meaning.

You both breathe in sync, your foreheads resting against each other, your eyes closed as the moment stretches out and becomes more than just a dance.

This instant is a truce, a refuge where everything else, the doubts, the pain, the past, is suspended and what follows is moving forward.

"You've got everything ready to go to college?"

His voice breaks the silence softly, barely a murmur, as if afraid to disturb the peace around you both.

"Yeah," you murmur, nodding.

"What are you traveling there on?"

"Well, I was checking with my dad about bus and plane ticket prices. But I still haven't made up my mind," you admit, remembering discussions about which was the safest and cheapest option.

Aemond nods, thoughtfully. Then, after a brief pause, he speaks with calm assurance.

"I can take you."

You look at him instantly surprised, definitely not expecting that.

"What?"

"I can take you," he repeats, sure of his words, "Well, sure, if you want," he hastens to clarify, "After all, we're going to the same place and I'll make the trip in my car," he explains, "There's plenty of room for your bags along with mine and so you won't have to spend on a ticket. Besides, it would be safer and I think, I don't know, you'd be more comfortable."

You remain silent, trying to assimilate what he has just said. There is something in his words, in the slow and sincere tone, that strikes a deep chord in you.

The idea of making the trip together, of sharing that important moment of departure, of having one last time alone before facing a new life, awakens a mix of emotions that are difficult to describe.

He lowers his gaze for a moment, nervous, clarifying in a low voice.

"It's just a suggestion... something I thought might make things easier for you. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Your heart pounds, and somehow, the simplicity of his offer, the naturalness with which he cares for you, causes a warm surge of gratitude and affection to wash over you.

"Can you really do that for me?" you ask quietly, with a little smile you can't help.

"Sure," he says absurdly softly, as if it weren't obvious, "But only if you want me to. I don't want to force you. It's just an option."

You look up at him, holding his gaze for a second that seems like forever, and nod slowly, allowing the feeling of relief and closeness to wash over you.

"I'd love to," you whisper, your voice barely a murmur, "Thank you."

The shadow of a smile tugs at his lips, and you can see the relief in his expression.

"No need to thanks."

Without another word, Aemond pulls you a little closer to him and again the two of you bring your foreheads together, letting the moment lengthen as the music changes to another slow rhythm.

You both remain like that, moving in silence and enjoying the moment, spending the last moment of your high school lives together, to start college together.

"Are you ready?"

Aemond watches you from the driver's seat, his hands resting calmly on the steering wheel with a small smile on his face.

The car is already loaded with suitcases for both of you and you nod, taking a deep breath to calm the emotions fluttering in your chest.

The thought of heading off together towards this new stage causes a mixture of nerves and excitement to wash over you, though a part of you also feels comforted by Aemond's presence at your side.

"Yes," you reply, adjusting your belt.

You watch him and he gives you one last knowing look before putting the car in move.

Saying goodbye to your dad was difficult, but it was something you were both already preparing for and you knew that moment would come.

Besides, he met Aemond, as your friend who will do you the favor of driving you to college and nothing more. And your dad felt safer with that instead of taking the plane or bus alone.

Especially after Aemond promised him countless times that he would take care of you at all times.

The road is serene at first, and Aemond turns on the radio, letting a soft melody fill the comfortable silence between them.

The roads stretch out in front of you, long and exciting, as the landscape changes shape and the kilometers pass, leaving behind the city where you experienced so much.

From time to time, you exchange glances, small comments about the places you see and the expectations each has for the university.

Aemond seems especially careful, attentive to every sign on the road and every change in your expression, as if he wants to make sure you are comfortable and at ease.

And he especially notices a change in your expression.

"Is something bothering you?" he asks you, his voice low but close, filling the space in a comforting way.

You watch him and after some hesitation, you shrug.

"I guess it makes me a little nervous not knowing what to expect," you admit, "This whole new stage... the idea of being alone in a new place."

Aemond nods, understanding what you mean, his eyes fixed on the road.

"I guess it's normal," he tells you softly, "It's almost obligatory to feel this way, but, for what it's worth... you won't be completely alone."

His gaze meets yours for a second before he turns back to the road.

"I'm going to be around if at any time you need anything or anything happens, anything at all."

You feel a warmth settle in your chest, and a part of your nerves seem to fade. The idea of him being there, close by, offering you that closeness, gives you a strange sense of relief.

"Thank you, Aemond," you murmur with a small smile.

He smiles, marking a dimple in his cheek, and turns his eyes to the front.

The ride continues, where the atmosphere in the car becomes more and more comfortable, chatting about small details, expectations, and the occasional joke that makes you both laugh comfortably.

And finally, as the two enter the town of Oldtown and the university looms in the distance, Aemond slows down, looking at the campus that would soon become his home.

"There it is," he says, a slight excitement in his voice.

The same excitement rubs off on you and excitedly, you take his hand, intertwining it with yours, excited and hopeful.

Hopeful that all that is to come for you in this place are good and promising things. As well as hopeful for Aemond and for you.

series taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @vhwyrm @strangersunghoon @queen-of-elves

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x you #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #modern aemond #modern hotd #au modern #aemond one eye

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situationalirony13 · 8 months ago

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spoiler warning for monkey man?

i'm probably never going to be able to stop talking about monkey man but let's just start with the ending.

Characters who can't outlive their narrative destroy me. But here's the thing – I think traditionally we do a poor job conveying the point of the trope. It'll read more like this character, who's only ever wanted to accomplish one thing, dies immediately after they accomplish it – and what's left is a story with a character-sized hole in it. It feels mostly like despair and hopelessness because it feels like the character never got to experience peace. The character, so wrapped up in anger, fear, sadness, etc – never experiences just being on the other side of this chasm they built for themselves.

There's a critical difference between characters who can't outlive their narrative and characters who won't. Characters who won't outlive their narrative can still have dreams, plans – the heartbreak is real because they saw a life for themselves on the other side and they'll never get to experience it. But most of the time we treat characters who can't outlive their narrative in the same way, and filmmakers trust that we as the audience suspend our disbelief and hope for the characters to have an epilogue.

Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel never had plans for what's next. We saw barely-there flashes of who he must be outside of his avenging mission, enough to cobble together this idea that yes, he deserves so much more. But it was evident from the first second of this film that there was nothing waiting for him on the other side. Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel could have never survived the narrative. There was no reality of an after for him after he avenged his mother – no practical way for him to build a new life. But in those last seconds, when he turned to the mural depicting the carnage of Hanuman and he had the far-away thought that it was over, we saw Dev Patel channel this relief in this doomed character.

We as an audience exhale with the character, we feel the release from his duty the same way he does.

He falls, the camera follows his center of gravity, and the screen cuts to black. The narrative begins and ends with him. He begins and ends with this narrative.

#monkey man #dev patel #i've maybe definitely spent too long thinking about this movie #doomed by the narrative #but also dooms the narrative?#i just love this movie so much

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flowerandblood · 11 months ago

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The Fall from the Heavens (7)

[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: sex content, loss of virginity, smut, angst, mention and description of rape, mention of trauma ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

He didn't know what made him follow her out then, after supper, when his father was carried back to his chamber. He felt fear, uncertainty and tension when he saw her leave without even giving him a single glance, as if what she had just said meant nothing to her.

My place is with you, uncle.

He drank with a deep gulp the remainder of the wine that was left in his goblet and put it down with a loud clink of steel, rising from his chair, avoiding the figure of his mother, who was saying something to him quickly, surely wanting to know how he could have done this to her.

He figured that the last time he had done something just for himself he had lost his eye, and that evening he was not going to lose anything else.

She didn't seem surprised that he had followed her out − she stopped and looked at him over her shoulder when she heard his footsteps.

He was trying to decide what he saw in her gaze, tired, sad, disappointed in him and the way he was acting, who he had become.

Still, it seemed to him that their unanimity at the table had reassured them both, that they had obviously proved something to each other.

Neither of them could end it.

He gulped, looking away from her, folding his hands behind his back.

"Your mother will return to the Red Keep in a few days at my mother's request. To discuss our nuptials." He said dispassionately, hoping she understood what he was trying to imply.

There was no need for her to return with them.

Since she wanted it so much, he could take his time with her, speak with her about whatever it was she had wanted over the years.

His expression that he was able to control his aggressive, violent nature.

She nodded and surprised him by moving ahead again, as if she didn't care what he had to say. He pressed his lips together, furious at himself for the desperation he felt, at the fact that part of him not only wanted to prove something to her, but feared that once she left, she would be gone forever.

"She stole you away from me then, but I won't let it happen this time. You are to stay. You'll return to Dragonstone in a few days, with her." He growled with pain, regret, dispassion, at the very thought of the memory of the night, the first in many months that he had spent alone, crying in despair, listening for when she would come to him.

It was obvious she would come to him, he thought then, trying to calm the convulsions that shook his body.

As soon as her mother was asleep she would slip out of her chamber again, as she always did, sneak up to him, embrace him and soothe his pain and fear.

He waited and listened for her footsteps, that distinctive, quiet creak of wood that always brought him relief.

But she didn't come, then or for many nights afterwards.

He saw her stop again and look at him surprised, as if she didn't believe those words had really left his mouth; something in her eyes had changed, her brow arched in pain.

She lowered her gaze, as if pondering his words, as if she had allowed them into her heart, and he thought in disbelief, trying to calm his breathing, that it had worked.

She hesitated.

She lifted her eyes to him and swallowed loudly, sighing quietly.

"I will stay, but only until my mother returns. Then I will travel back to Dragonstone with her and stay there until our nuptials." She said quietly, looking him straight in the eye.

"Yes. It will be appropriate." He replied at once, forcing himself to be indifferent, feeling his heart pounding hard, his body shuddering with satisfaction and contentment.

He thought with some kind of pride that she remained as she had been years ago, that she, unlike Aegon, could converse.

His brother understood only violence, only force; he could not count the number of times he had dragged him out of the brothels, the number of times he had had to hit him to revive him, the number of times he had yelled at him to make him come to his senses.

With his mother he didn't speak but prayed, with Helaena he didn't speak but stayed in her company, with his grandfather he didn't speak but exchanged dry facts.

He didn't speak with his father, because he hardly saw him.

He did speak with Criston, but he always told him what he wanted to hear.

She, however, understood perfectly the nuances and beauty of conversation, could explain what she herself felt, and could also listen to the other side, accept a sensible argument, take another opinion into consideration.

He thought with shame that he hadn't even noticed when he had become a brutal, silent stone that rammed everything in its path.

He let her go when she replied that she needed to ask her mother's permission and hid in the library, knowing that he had nothing to return to his chamber for.

He knew that his mother had certainly made sure that the guards at his and her door ensured that neither of them crossed the threshold of their quarters.

He sat down in the candlelight at one of the oak tables, taking earlier from the bookcase a book devoted to the complex grammar of the language of Old Valyria that he had been analysing and studying alone for several years, trying not to think about what had happened.

About how, despite what he tried to tell himself, the sight of her, her presence, her voice, her touch did not repulse him.

You desire me, but you're not in love with me.

He heard her words in his head and swallowed loudly, closing his eye, feeling a tightness in his throat, figuring that perhaps the few days they would spend together would calm the chaos in her and his head.

They had met years later at a time when things were happening that amplified his frustration, and although he was furious that Luke got what he wanted again, he promised himself that he wouldn't broach the subject with her.

That he would make an effort not to make things worse.

He shuddered when he heard the creak of the wooden door, and was surprised to find that he felt a warmth in his abdomen when she had in fact come to him, without any word or prior arrangement, as if she knew perfectly well that he would be waiting for her.

She looked around the hall, which she hadn't seen for years, walking slowly towards him, coming up to a bookcase filled to the brim with thick, slightly dusty volumes.

She smiled, pulling out with difficulty a large tome that had a leather, gold-decorated binding, which he recognised immediately, and watched silently as she moved towards him with The Great History of Aegon the Conqueror.

Memory after memory struck his mind as she placed the book in front of him, just to his right, exactly as it was then.

"What are you reading, uncle? Are you looking at our family tree again?" She asked lightly, and he felt a pleasant shudder, tightening his lips, hearing in her voice that she was teasing him, exactly as she had been then.

He crossed his legs and readjusted himself in his seat, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, at her figure and how much she had changed, at her breasts that just yesterday he were caressing with his hands.

"No." He replied lowly, unable to take his eyes off her chest encased in the material of her gown, her bare shoulders glistening in the candlelight.

She approached him, exactly as she had done then, leaning in so that their cheeks were right next to each other. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, trying to pretend he didn't feel what was happening in his breeches, in his manhood which, with its intense throbbing, betrayed what he thought of her long, dark hair and lashes, her bright eyes, the scent of vanilla that filled his lungs again.

"The language of Old Valyria? I might have expected that from my future husband's love of our family's traditions." She said softly, as if with some kind of admiration, and he felt a pleasant shiver run along his spine when she called him her future husband.

He knew she was trying to soften his violent nature, to soothe and calm him, to say and do what he wanted.

"Will you teach me, uncle? I promise to be a diligent and attentive pupil." She said with a quiet click of her tongue, looking down at him, waiting for his reaction.

He knew she was taunting him, wanting him to break, to touch her first, to tell her his thoughts, his desires.

"Mmm." He hummed, turning the page, going back to reading again, trying not to think about the fact that his cock pulsed hard under the thick volume he held in his hands.

He heard her quiet sigh of disapproval, out of the corner of his eye he saw her push back the chair to his right and sit down on it, just as she had then, delving into the story of Aegon the Conqueror again.

He could feel the tension between them, knew they were fighting for dominance, for who would break first.

He pressed his lips together, feeling hundreds of questions rush to his tongue, unable to focus on what he was reading.

What was between her and Daemon?

Did she really believe what she had said at supper?

Did she forgive him, or did she want revenge on him for the years of silence on his part?

He was dismayed that he didn't know what he thought of it all himself, once feeling relieved, once anxious, still coming back to the same conclusion.

He didn't trust her.

He closed his eye, trying to calm himself, feeling his heart pounding like mad.

When he opened it, he met her familiar worried gaze, her eyebrows arched in concern, in a warm, characteristic willingness to understand him, to listen to him.

He felt a sense of discomfort when he realised that once he had felt he recognised her, that she was someone close to him, someone he desired so much, only to decide a moment later that she was a stranger, someone distant, someone different than she had been before.

"You and Daemon." He began, recognising that he could not avoid her if she was to become his wife, that he had to understand what was in her mind, who was the woman who sat at his side. "What's between you two?"

She blinked, looking at him with wide eyes, as if she didn't understand what he was asking her.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly, without any fear or discomfort that might betray that his question frightened her. He licked his lower lip, playing between his fingers with a page from the book lying on his thighs.

"You two are delightfully close." He stated coolly and noticed that she twitched, swallowing loudly, as if she only now realised what his imagination was suggesting.

"Not in this way. Gods, uncle, you're the first one who…" She stammered, they both averted their gazes, embarrassed; he could see out of the corner of his eye her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"And you?" She asked suddenly and this time he threw her a surprised look, frowning his eyebrows; she looked at him fearfully, as if she was afraid of his answer.

He turned away from her, breathing loudly through his nose, feeling his heart pound at the memory of the woman Aegon had taken him to when he was only thirteen, the discomfort and tightness in his throat, that cruel, dark, overpowering shame.

He didn't want to remember it, the touch of that shapely red-haired girl much older than he was, her hand clenched over what was hidden beneath his breeches, his feeling of terror, even though she was telling him to relax.

He didn't want it, he felt it was wrong, his beloved had never touched him in such a way, in such a place.

He felt his lips clench so tightly that they turned blue, so that a squeaky sound of despair did not come from his throat.

"Aegon took me to some whore when I was thirteen. Time to get it wet − he announced then." He said, forcing himself to be indifferent, trying to distance himself from those memories, from the images that flashed involuntarily before his eyes, her body climbing over him, her hands untying his breeches, her whisper with which she tried to soothe him before he began to mutter that he did not want this.

"Prince Aegon paid me for your fulfillment." She answered him then, before she sank down on top of him, forcing him to feel her warm walls; for some reason he felt like he was about to vomit, something akin to a whine escaping his lips.

Seeing his state, tears streaming down his cheeks she stopped, desperate bringing him to fulfilment with mechanical, determined movements of her hand.

Her plump fingers squeezing him, up and down, up and down, as he shuddered and pressed his lips together, as tear after tear dripped down either side of his face onto that strange-smelling, scratchy bedding.

His purity had been taken from him once and for all, even though he had bathed for an hour after what had happened, he could still smell her suffocating scent on him.

That night he took all her letters out of his drawer and laid them down beside him, despairing to find that still when he concentrated very hard he was able to smell her scent, which had seeped into the parchment.

The smell of vanilla.

He shuddered at that memory and returned to the room he was sitting in, glancing at her quickly, unsure if he had done the right thing in telling her.

He swallowed loudly seeing that she was looking at him in disbelief, pained and resentful, apparently thinking that, like Aegon, he had indulged himself that night in the pleasures that a woman's body could give him.

Somehow he liked that look of distress and jealousy, the thought that she wanted him for herself, that she despaired at the thought that he could ever desire another woman.

He grunted, not wanting to mislead her, at the same time not knowing how to explain it to her and not come off as a weak, pathetic man who cried when a woman tried to ride him.

It seemed to him that it should come naturally to him, and the fact that it didn't was endearing to him as her future husband and lover.

"Fear not. I didn't lie in bed with her. I didn't want to bring another disappointment and cause of embarrassment to my mother." He hummed, feigning light-heartedness, spreading himself out comfortably in his chair, looking wearily at his fingers, thinking with relief that he had excelled himself perfectly while not going so far as to lie completely.

It was true that his mother's opinion of him was extremely important to him.

He heard her let out a quiet breath, fiddling in a nervous gesture with the fingers of her hands lying on the book open in front of her, gathering herself apparently to say something.

He looked at her indifferently, at her pleasing figure, her pale face framed by long black lashes and full pink lips, and thought with pain that whoever his future wife was, she was beautiful.

"Will you drink wine with me, uncle?" She asked in a quiet, trembling voice, as if she could not bear this discussion with a sober mind.

He sighed and nodded, recognising that he needed the alcohol in his veins no less than she did.

Criston Cole looked at them distrustfully, watching them closely when one of the servants brought them a jug and two goblets, placing them on the table in front of them; she wanted to pour them some wine, however, his niece pre-empted her, saying she would do it.

"You can leave, Cole." He said, taking his cup from her, which she half-filled first.

His mother's sworn protector stood before them with his hands folded in front of him, clenching his lips, an expression of disapproval and condemnation in his eyes that aroused his frustration.

"My Prince, your mother insists that you…"

"That we don't visit each other in our chambers at night. We are having a conversation in the library. You may leave." He added with emphasis not withstanding the objection, looking up at him from below with a look that did not accept the refusal.

Cole bowed, casting one warning glance at his betrothed, then headed for the entrance with a loud clang of his armour.

His niece sat again to his right, spreading herself comfortably in the chair, raising her cup to her lips.

"Has he been trying to father you for a long time?" She asked without thinking, as if the question came naturally to her.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, fiddling with his chalice standing on the table in front of him, and sighed heavily, recognising that so far their honesty had only brought them closer together, and helped to calm him down.

"Unfortunately." He muttered, lifting the vessel to his lips and tilting it, taking a deep sip from it, the slightly tart, sweet and at the same time sour taste of grapes and alcohol spilling over his palate.

He heard her huff softly, glancing up at him with a slight, childlike smile; he felt hot in his chest at the thought that she still had it inside her, that amused twinkle in her eye, indicative of her brightness, of the fact that she was about to say something that would surely turn out to be true and an accurate statement.

"He's afraid you'll make his mistake." She said raising her eyebrows, however there was no mockery or challenge to be heard in her voice, he could hear her tongue hitting her palate with a quiet click as she uttered it softly, cheerfully, as if she thought it was a funny coincidence.

He looked at her impassively, knowing perfectly well what she was alluding to. He had heard, even as a young child, the conversations of servants who said that Criston Cole had broken his vows of chastity and lain in bed with Rhaenyra, who, however, later refused to run away with him and become his wife.

He wondered, what did he expect?

He answered nothing, taking another sip from his cup, looking thoughtfully ahead, remembering how he had repeatedly promised her that he would take her to Essos once he was a dragon rider.

"You also promised me a journey to Essos, uncle. I hope my future husband will not prove unfaithful to his words." She said lightly startling him completely − he looked at her wide-eyed having the impression that she was sitting inside his head.

Her head leaned against the back of her chair, her body spread out on it relaxed and soft, her beautiful dark hair framed her pale face on either side like the night itself.

She was smiling.

It was not a broad smile, almost imperceptible, at the corner of her mouth, her gaze, warm and assured, confirmed the sincerity of that grimace.

He felt a tightness in his throat at this sight; involuntarily the pointing finger of his hand outstretched on his armrest touched her bare skin. He felt her twitch, her lips parted slightly, her eyelids half open.

They began to play with each other's fingers, their tips rubbing against each other in the air illuminated by the warm light of fire and candles.

He had a lot of questions, a lot of doubts that made him furious − he thought about them as he watched their fingertips brushing against each other in the air, so innocent, tender, her skin so indecently soft.

Did she really think anyone would agree to Jace, that fucking bastard, being heir to the throne?

That a war wouldn't break out?

That after his father's death he would remain silent about who her brothers were?

He pressed his lips together, sighing heavily, realising that he would have to humiliate her along with them. He consoled himself with the thought that once she was his wife it wouldn't matter − she would become part of his family, their children would be from the rightful bed, and she would regain her dignity in the eyes of the kingdom.

They sat like this for a long moment, thoughtful, drinking wine, each locked in their own mind, only their fingers meeting once in a while, rubbing against each other in obvious need of closeness, reminding them of their presence.

"Why did you forgive me?" He asked finally, not looking at her though, but into the giant lit fireplace on the other side of the room, illuminating their faces along with the candles standing around them.

He felt her look at him, her gaze fixed on his face. She was silent for a long time before she replied.

"I have not forgiven you. I have understood you. Just as you understood me." She said finally, and he looked at her with a fast pounding, clenched heart, feeling discomfort in his lower abdomen.

Then, at last, everything became clear to him, and the weight that had been crushing him since he had seen her again fell from his shoulders.

They didn't have to force themselves to forgive each other.

They could just understand what had driven them, accept that they had unwittingly destroyed so much, and that some things they would never regain.

He felt suddenly that she was closer to him than ever before, his hand tightened on hers, wanting to see if she felt the same.

He swallowed loudly when her fingers intertwined with his, like the roots of two trees, like a vine; there was something ambiguous, something lewd about this gesture, he imagined their bare bodies hugged together in the same closeness.

"Spend the night with me." He muttered, looking at her, himself disbelieving that those words had left his mouth, feeling that his mind and his cock, all swollen in his breeches demanded her touch, her scent, her presence.

He saw in her misty gaze, in her slightly parted lips, in her sweetly rosy cheeks, that she felt what he said between her thighs, her chest rising and falling faster in shuddering breaths.

"Your mother…I'm sure Cole is waiting at the door to..." She started, but he didn't let her finish.

"Let's climb out the window to the cloisters. I'll take you to the empty servants' chambers." He said feeling her hand quiver in his grasp, excitement and determination in her eyes.

He thought he had completely lost his mind, that he was acting like a child, but maybe that was the point.

To pretend that he could get back anything of what had been taken from him.

She bit her lip at last, the corner of her mouth lifting in an innocent, cheerful smile from which he felt like throwing himself at her; he was sure that, like him, her daring had been enhanced by the wine she drank.

"Let's go, husband." She said softly, cockily, and he gasped loudly for air, standing up with a loud creak of old wood, feeling his head hum with each step to the shutters, the world around him seeming slightly blurred.

He opened them and immediately the cool evening air surrounded them. He glanced down and was relieved to see that they were not high up; he himself was easily able to get to the other side without jumping.

She moved after him without a word with a fierceness that surprised him, her task made more difficult by her long gown, but when he caught her at the waist and lifted her he managed to silently place her on the ground beside him.

They looked at each other with eyes full of self-satisfaction and pride, he grabbed her hand and pulled her behind him, he heard her sweet, pearly giggle.

Although he had said since he was a child that he didn't understand women's notions of fleeing lovers who organised late-night escapades for each other, he thought now that he hadn't known the one thing back then that changed everything.

This overpowering, ferocious desire.

As the door of the cool, cramped, modest chamber closed behind them, as he shut the bolt to make sure no one disturbed them, he turned to her. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a laugh of disbelief.

"Gods, they're going to kill us, uncle…we're…" She didn't finish as his thirsty, yearning lips clung to hers in a greedy, wet, loud kiss, his hands clenched on her gown and hair.

He heard her sigh of delight, she threw her arms around his neck, reciprocating impatiently the movements of his lust-swollen lips, their fingers trailing and clenching on their bodies as if to make sure it wasn't a dream, sighing and panting into each other's mouths.

"Let me see your bare body." He whispered between the loud, sticky clicks of their saliva-wet lips. "Your uncle hasn't seen you in so long."

"You must reciprocate, uncle." She whispered sweetly into his mouth and he groaned into her throat, rubbing the bulge in his breeches against her. He felt his mind go hazy, her lips, the tip of her tongue meeting his sweet from the wine, everything around him swirling, so he relied only on his sense of touch and smell.

Their hands began to clumsily untie and unfasten their garments, bestowing loud, wet kisses on each other once in a while in an attempt to sweeten the ordeal of pulling off layer after layer of everything they were wearing.

He pulled off his boots with a quick, impatient movement, almost falling over, losing his balance; he heard her giggle sweetly, her grip on his arm keeping him from collapsing.

He thanked the gods that she was already standing in front of him in only her nightgown.

"Too much wine, uncle?" She asked teasingly and he snorted, furious, grabbing the back of her neck with his hand, walking forward, forcing her to step back until she fell with a quiet squeal backwards onto the bedding on the cramped bed.

"I'll fucking show you in a moment." He hissed teasingly, grinning involuntarily; she smiled cheekily beneath him, writhing under him in impatience, watching as with a nimble flick of his fingers he untied his breeches, pulling their material aside, releasing what was underneath.

She looked up at him with a dreamy gaze, breathing loudly when she noticed how big and swollen he was, the pink tip of his cock all glistening, wet with his own juices, twitching all over with desire.

"I need to feel you. Just for a moment. I won't be violent." He muttered spreading her thighs in front of him, drawing her buttocks closer; she nodded quickly, all red and trembling as he lifted the material of her nightgown higher.

"− fuck − what happened here, sweet niece? − you're leaking −" He whispered in a trembling voice, looking in disbelief at how wet she was, his thumb involuntarily ran over her heat from her bud to her slit, she squirmed beneath him, impatient.

"− tell your uncle what do you want − hm? −" He asked, not believing it was happening, having a feeling it was only a dream; he let his manhood run over her wetness, over her puffy folds, rubbing against her.

"− y-you − gods, I want you −" She mumbled out clasping her hands on the pillow on either side of her head, her hair spread around her head in wonderful disarray − his gaze fled from her face to his manhood sticky with her moisture, a shiver ran down his spine at her words.

"− spread your thighs wide − wider − just like that, come here − let me inside you − shhh −" He hushed her, hearing her whimper as the fat head of his cock pressed against her tight walls, with difficulty forcing its way inside her.

"− fuck − so tight −" He breathed out, clenching his eye almost in pain, his hands slid down from her thighs to her womanhood, his thumbs spreading the folds of her skin to the sides, allowing him to open her wide on his length. He groaned pathetically at the sight, her whole body trembling, a cry of exertion escaping her lips.

"− I know − I know − shhh − just a little more − it's almost in −" He gasped tenderly, wanting to soothe her, with a slow motion of his hips sinking deeper and deeper into her throbbing hot body.

The sensation of being inside her was very different from what he had felt when Aegon had taken him to the brothel, her muscles moist and hot, tight, clenching on his manhood so hard it took his breath away.

He felt vulnerable and safe at the same time, for here was his beloved, his Rhaenys reaching her hand up to his cheek, as terrified as he was, trying to soothe him with the gentle movement of her fingers, from which they both sighed.

"− you are so warm −" He whispered looking at her face, with gasp of exertion sliding his length fully inside her, feeling a tightness in his throat as if he was about to cry, her eyebrows arched in indecision, clear discomfort but also desire shone in her eyes.

"− uncle − too big −" She babbled, bravely trying to fit what he had just thrust into her; he shushed her again and slowly slipped out of her only to fill her again with himself. They looked at each other with slightly parted lips, shocked at how shameless and yet delightful the experience was.

"− gods, yes −" He exhaled, sliding out almost to the very end, only to sank inside her again with a loud click of her moisture, both of them moaned pathetically.

"− o-oh fuck, uncle −" She mewled as he sped up, rooting into her tight core again and again, slowly, tenderly, placing one of his hands next to her head. He chuckled involuntarily, guessing this must have been the first time she cursed loudly.

"− be quiet − want anyone to disturb us? − hm? − see how I take what is mine? −" He growled out, moaning low along with her, their naked bodies slapping against each other loudly, his cock all sticky from her moisture, he felt how at his words her walls clenched hard against him, sucking him inside.

"− i-if we get caught, won't you marry me? −" She asked despairingly like a small child and he snorted, looking with parted lips at her breasts bouncing slightly with each of his thrusts, his hand impatiently slid the material of her nightgown off her shoulder and squeezed one of them, massaging it between his fingers, playing with her nipple with his thumb.

"− you silly woman − no mere lord will take what belongs to me −" He hissed, speeding up, each buck of his hips stretching her hot, throbbing muscles with more and more intense, confident thrusts, he had the feeling that her fleshy walls had adapted to his size.

He leaned over her, sliding his tongue deep into her throat, their kisses loud and chaotic, forming a dance of their teeth, lips and saliva; they whined and panted into each other's mouths, her hands clenched on his naked buttocks, her breasts pressed against his chest as he rooted into her with low groans of pleasure.

"− o-oh gods, uncle − m close −" She whimpered, shuddering and panting beneath him, their bodies entwined together as then their fingers, tight, sweaty and hot, pulsing with desire, slapping against each other loudly.

"− me too − fuck − where −" He muttered, feeling that he was as close to fulfilment as she was, that one more push of his cock into her and it would be all over.

"− inside me − please, uncle, inside me −" She cried out and her words startled him so much that he just came, cursing loudly, furious at himself and his stupidity, slapping his hand loudly on the bed frame above her head in rage, moaning and panting along with her in elation and delight as his seed spilled inside her.

"− yes − gods, yes, yes, yes −" She mewled out, her eyes closed, her head tilted back, her lips parted sweetly in complete bliss, her hot walls clenching and throbbing against him in elation.

"− we're fucking fools − gods, my sweetest −" He howled, falling on top of her, crushing her with his body; he sighed quietly when he felt her arms quickly embrace him, his cock twitching hard inside her in the stupefying delight that was shaking his body.

"− forgive me −" She babbled, clearly only after a moment understanding what they had actually done.

He turned his cheek towards her, gripping her face in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"− we will marry as soon as possible − do not fret − I took you and you are mine now −" He whispered, and she breathed a sigh of relief, her lips swollen from emotion and exertion clinging to his in a tender, warm kiss full of gratitude and affection.

He closed her in his embrace, trying to calm his breathing with her, stroking her hair, thinking only of how never after he had claimed Vhagar had he felt so fulfilled as a man as he did now.

He thought that there was still hope for them.

That from now on everything would be as it should be.

What he didn't know yet was that the only person who wanted their nuptials as much as them had just fell asleep forever.

The King was dead.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires

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thebestofoneshots · 4 months ago

Text

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.3 K Warnings: none Prompt: It's time to set up a trap with the boys! It has to be fun, right? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 60: Stone in Love

Wednesday 12th, 1977 - 12:34 AM

Lily didn’t take too long in the bathroom, and you went inside right after her. The girls had showered after arriving on the train, you, on the other hand, had only mildly gotten yourself looking decent before walking to Gringotts, and that was because you knew you had to look presentable. You suspected that after the entire mirror adventure, running around Hogsmeade like a crazy person, and making out with two boys at the same time, you urgently needed one yourself.

You looked in the mirror, and thankfully, you didn’t look as bad as you assumed you would. You did have a parted lip that you hadn’t noticed before, and your wrist was still slightly sore, but you looked brighter than you had looked in the morning. The evident sadness from then was now coexisting with a newfound joy, the tinge of someone completely in love –and happy about it– evident in some of your features. The shine in your eyes, the curve of your lips, the dreaminess of your gaze. It was almost ridiculous how much a small talk had changed the way you felt, and looked.

You took a deep breath and turned on the shower, basking in the way the warm water fell over your body, so soft and kind, so unlike the blazing fire, and the cold snow, that you almost wanted to fill the tub and stay there. You were still slightly sleepy, but the shower was enough to wake you up.

By the time you stepped out of the shower, Mary had also fallen asleep, and Lily was sitting on her bed while reading a book. “You’re leaving now?”

You nodded, and yawned, “Hopefully I’ll get some sleep after the preparations are ready.”

“Good luck,” she said and yawned.

“Sleep tight,” you replied with a smile, took James’ cloak and wrapped it around yourself, completely disappearing before her eyes. There was an air of child-like joy in Lily’s pupils as she saw you do it. She might have been immersed in the magical world for years, but every now and then, something caught her eye that reminded her of just how fascinating magic could be. People might have called the way she saw things a “muggle outlook” but Lily refused the idea of ever taking it all for granted. She loved being mesmerized by magic, and she never wanted to stop being fascinated by it. She smiled, looking at the door open and close by itself and then went back to her book.

She was trying to find a toad-repelling charm. If there was anything completely unrefutable about Lily Evans, is just how much she wanted to be prepared for any situation that she might face. And with the little to no information you had given her, she wasn’t eager to find herself surrounded or –Godric forbid– vomiting toads without being able to stop it. She really hoped it wasn’t the latter, Barty had charmed Nox like that in first year after he said something about Evan. She had been in the infirmary checking on Remus and she had to leave the room before he woke up because she too, had gotten the urge to puke. What a terrible jinx that was.

Luckily for her, having the entire school puke toads, was not on your plans, you were only trying to infest it. You walked down the stairs making as little noise as possible. You thought of using a spell to silence your steps, but it was quite late –about 40 minutes later than your original meeting plan– and there seemed to be nobody around. You walked towards the boys’ dormitories and gently knocked on their door.

“About fucking time,” Prongs whispered as he opened the door. Once it was closed, his voice went back to normal. “We were thinking you bailed on us!”

“He was, not me,” Remus said with a shrug.

“Why did you take so long, anyway?” Peter asked.

“Oreos,” you retorted. “And girl talk.”

“You talk about me with Lily?” Prongs said as he raised his eyebrow at you.

“What? Do you think girl talk is always about boys?”

“No?” He retorted, dragging that O a little too much.

You scoffed, “We did not. I’m sorry to inform you, our agendas don’t always include complaining about our boyfriends.”

“What are Oreos anyway?” Peter asked about at the same time that James murmured “Complaining about our boyfriends?” He had a frown on his face and looked terribly upset at the idea of Lily complaining about him.

You didn’t even bother to hide the smirk that had appeared on your lips. “Oh, a very muggle thing,” you retorted. The boys didn’t need to know what an Oreo was, at least not until you bought them a pack, at which point they’d be too busy delighting in them to remember that you had been late for the prank because of some cookies.

“A very muggle thing?” Remus asked, eyebrows raised, his tone clearly telling you he knew exactly what they were. Hope made an Oreo / triple chocolate cheesecake that was to diе for.

“Indeed, Moony,” you retorted as you shot him a look. “And talking about muggle things, I brought you something,” you said as you pulled out the Aero bar from your pocket. “Have you tried it?”

“Don’t think I have,” he said as he looked at the chocolate. “Thanks, Luv.”

“How come Moony always gets treats and I never do?” Sirius said with a small pout.

“Somehow I knew you would say that,” you said as you pulled out a tiny chocolate frog and placed it right in front of his mouth. “I got these at Muggle London, they don’t jump but they’re tasty. Open up.”

“That’s what he said,” James said and got a short slap from Peter who looked mortified. Somehow he was the only one in the entire group who saw you more as a girl than as a Marauder.

“Oi! What was that for?” James complained as he rubbed his arm. Meanwhile, Sirius had taken a bite out of his chocolate, you expected him to take it all in, but instead, he bit right in the middle, causing the filling to spill down his mouth and your hands. It was liquidy and it kind of looked like cough syrup.

“Oh, I guess it was blueberry,” you said as you noted the purple colour drip from your hands. You took the other half of the frog and plopped it into your mouth, “It’s actually my favourite,” you added as you licked the back of your palm. They were small kitten lips, just trying to get the stickiness out of it so you could wipe them on your shirt but somehow that had caught the attention of the two boys.

Perhaps they were too imaginative, or the kisses from a few hours ago had left them wanting more, but both boys had their mouths watering at the sight. James and Peter were still arguing in a hushed tone so neither of them noticed their gazes until you felt you were being stared at. “What?” you asked as you turned to Remus. “Got something on my face?” You eyed Sirius who was also starring.

Perhaps if Peter and James weren’t there, Sirius would have retorted with “A kiss” and jumped on you, but instead, he cleared his throat.

“Nothing. It looks like it was a good chocolate,” Remus said, somehow calmly.

“You think?” you asked as you pulled another one from your pocket and held it up to his mouth in the same way you had done with Sirius. He glanced over at Peter and James nervously, but their small discussion had turned into a relatively heated quarrel. He then eyed Sirius who nodded with a small shrug.

Remus leaned towards your hand, taking the chocolate with his teeth without breaking it, his soft lips brushing against your fingers in some kind of way that made Sirius wish he could drag the two of you somewhere private and kiss your pretty lips until he ran out of breath.

“Good, yeah?” you asked as you saw him smile mischievously as he bit the chocolate. You didn’t understand the look he and Sirius had, but he did, and he did not miss the way Sirius was looking at the two of you. First your way and then his, he never thought he’d love being the centre of attention of Sirius’ piercing eyes as much as he did right then.

“Delicious,” He replied with that same, devilish smirk. Sirius would have scoffed if he hadn’t been just as lured by him as if he had been with you.

You smiled and turned to the two boys still deep in their discussion. “Okay, that’s enough, we’ve got a spell to teach you,” you said as you placed a thick book in the centre of the small circle you had ended up in. Quite similar to the one you’d been in back in your room with the girls. The book fell down on the wooden floor with a thud so loud it snapped Peter and James out of their quarrel.

“What? I thought you were going to do it with Moony,” Peter said.

“If the school didn’t have thousands of classrooms perhaps. We’re thinking we have to split into 2 teams. The team with three takes the bigger places, such as the great hall, the courtyard, the stairs, the astronomy tower, and the longer halls, the team with two takes the other classrooms. Especially the ones with classes tomorrow, but also the empty ones in case the teachers think switching classrooms would be a solution.”

“Classes will be cancelled, no matter what,” Sirius said with a smirk.

“And is it complicated?” Peter asked with a frown.

Remus tilted his head to the side, “Well…”

“You’ll do great Wormy, I know!” You said with a thumbs up and opened the book. “What Remus and I designed was a variation on Arresto Momentum,” you explained.

“The freezing time spell,” Remus continued. “More technical versions can freeze a person before they fall to their dеath, Quidditch coaches are all taught how to perform it–”

“Simpler ones are used to freeze food in time so it does not go bad. Muggles need refrigerators and stuff for that,” you continued. “But the tricky thing with this one–”

“Is that we needed to time set them, like a bоmb. And all of them at the same time.”

Sirius was looking at the way the two of you quite literally finished each other's sentences completely in awe. While he had already been in love both with you and with Remus, the fact that he could kiss either of you mid-sentence was beyond thrilling. You were both insanely pretty, almost unfairly so. Sirius was sure you were saying something important by the way you both pointed at the book and flipped your wands in a very specific way, but he was so entranced by you that he hadn’t been listening at all.

“You got it?” You asked Peter, he was moving his wand up and down and then in a circle and saying a couple of spell words, albeit a little clumsy, he was saying the words right and making the correct movements.

“Did I?” He asked as he loosened his grip on one of the decoy swamp-bombs (the ones that had no swamp but just a little water inside). The ball stayed in its place until James grabbed it and put it in his pocket.

“James mate, that’s a–” Remus started, but you placed your hand on top of his and threw him a knowing look. A small eyebrow wiggle and a tiny little smirk. He shook his head in amusement but didn’t press further.

“Yeah?” James asked.

“A great swish and curl,” you said as you imitated the swish on his wand. “Also, I think Pete is ready too,” you smiled. “You just need to add a little more confidence with the wording,” you added as you turned to him. “It’s Arresto Momentum um debiat” you added.

“Um debiat,” Peter repeated.

“You got it, Puppy?” you asked, turning to Sirius, who only now seemed to be snapped out of his trance.

“Uh, yeah…” he replied with a confident nod, only now turning to actually look at Peter and James moving their wands and practising the new spell. He leaned towards Prongs. “What were the words again?” he asked in a whisper.

“Oh, my Merlin!” James complained. “You’re keeping this twat with you,” he added as he turned to you.

“Hm… I suppose I’ll have to take one for the team,” you said with a shrug and a smirk.

“You love having me as your team, shut up,” Sirius retorted with a playful scoff.

“Moony is going to be with us, yeah?” Peter asked.

James threw a look at Remus and smirked himself, “Don’t think so, Worms. Vixen and Moony are taking the bigger places since they’re faster with the spell. We’ll take the classrooms.”

“Oh well,” Wormy said with a sigh. “Should we hide the balls in the corners, in case someone notices them?”

“We probably should, yeah,” Remus replied. “That way even if one of us fucks with the spell they’d have to find the rest of the swamp-bombs before they actually explode.”

“Brilliant idea, Pete!” you said with a warm smile, Peter smiled confidently after that. He knew he wasn’t all that great with charms, but he got little pride from getting ideas that turned out for the best every now and then. Like the cuddles, he was still pretty shocked by how well it worked in the end.

Sirius threw you a look, not quite jealous but not quite happy about you praising Peter either. It’s not that he didn’t like Peter, but he was still kind of bothered about the PDA discussion they’d had earlier, even if he had been playing him just to get on his nerves, he wasn’t too happy about being told when he could and couldn’t kiss his girlfriend; unless it was you telling him, that is.

“Okay, then, we ready?” you asked. “Who's keeping the cloak?”

“Well, if you disillusion me and Peter, you three should have it,” James said, thinking of how cosied up you’d get under the cloak. You had been there for him every time he tried to have Lily fall in love with him. He considered his duty as your best friend (since Remus was your boyfriend now) to ensure he provided you three with lots of quality time together. Besides he hadn’t seen Remus this happy in so long, he wanted that smile to grow bigger. He wanted all of your smiles to do so. “Besides, you'll be going to the red zones.”

The red zones was a term employed by the boys to reference the areas with the most teachers and prefects around at night. Places like the library (which you would not touch because both you and Remus valued books too much to risk them being damaged by the toads), the great hall, and the grand staircase.

“Sounds like a plan,” you said with a smile and took out the wand, successfully making both boys almost completely invisible. “The swamp-bombs?”

“Under the bed,” James said as Remus pulled a small bag that had been extension charmed, and then another one. “The blue bag has the most.”

Peter leaned over –at least you assumed it was Peter, if the faintest whisp of neatly tucked hair was anything to go by– and took the purple bag. The colour of the bag faded after his hand touched it, it was almost completely gone by the time he lifted it from the floor.

James whispered something, and you didn’t even notice they were leaving until the door opened by itself and closed seconds later. “I really need to learn that silencing charm, James has truly mastered it.”

“Bet it’d come in handy,” Sirius teased, and you reproachfully threw the cloak at him, understanding full well his implication. He took the cloak and the bag and stood from the floor. “All right, we don’t have all night, we better hurry this up,” he added as he extended his hand for you to take. You stood up and then did the same for Moony who, once he was up, took the cloak from Sirius.

Remus extended it around himself and held it over his head, welcoming the two of you inside. You smiled and got in, Sirius followed with a smirk, standing almost unnecessarily close to the boy. Not that you were standing much farther. Both –per James’ prediction– had cosied up to the taller boy like you did when you were in your animagus form.

Remus tensed at first, being brought back to before you were with him, to having to worry about being caught smelling Sirius’ hair or looking at the back of your neck. And then you pulled your hand behind your back and searched for his, taking it in yours and giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He relaxed almost instantly, smiled and squeezed your hand softly in retort. Since you’d kept the cloak, Peter and Remus had gotten the map. That meant you’d have to be extra careful while walking around the school.

If only we had two of those, you thought as you walked towards the door. Remus held his finger to his mouth, and for a few seconds, your breaths were the only thing either you or Remus could hear. “It’s empty, let’s go,” Remus said and Sirius opened the door. The three of you stepped out and in a matter of seconds were out of the door.

The hall was empty, Remus was set to patrol that night, along with Frank Longbottom, the Gryffindor head boy whom you hadn’t met yet –at least officially, you’d seen him around– but was kind of close to the boys. And Remus had convinced him he’d take care of the prefect’s duties. According to Remus, Frank was trying to sway a girl named Alice (not the one you knew, a different one) and he was going to be working on writing her a letter all night.

“What do you even do when you patrol?” asked Sirius after he yawned, you instantly did the same. It was as if the sleep that you’d gotten after drinking the cookies was coming back to you, slightly stronger than before.

“We literally just walk until the clock ticks midnight and then we come back to our rooms,” Remus said. “Frank talks a lot about spells, he’s a little clumsy like Peter, but he’s really clever regardless. When I’m with Lily we just discuss things like what we saw in class or the themes of our essays. Sometimes we just talk about muggle stuff,” he retorted. He was speaking low, not quite in a whisper, but enough for it to be muffled by the cloak. James had added a sound-blocking spell to it, it wasn’t strong, but it was enough to cover for words as soft as Remus’.

“Where are we going first?” you asked, holding back another yawn. You knew Sirius would instantly tease you if he noticed you were sleepy, and while you didn’t hate his teasing, you didn’t want Remus to have the impression his new partners were childish.

“Great Hall?” Sirius asked.

“We want them to go off in class, I was thinking we could have those set a little later, you know how Dumbledore loves taking the students to the Great Hall in a contingency.”

“Imagine! They think it’s safe, and boom, toads!” Sirius added.

“How do you even know about the contingency plans?” you asked with a frown.

“We’ve caused a couple of them,” Sirius retorted with a smug smirk. “How does it feel to really be a troublemaker in the end?”

“I sometimes feel it’s your madness rubbing off on me, you know?” You retorted and Sirius gasped.

“Speak softer,” Remus chided when he heard a portrait yawn in the background. “I was thinking we could do the stairs first. Prefects are rarely there.”

“What about the portraits?” You asked, tilting your head. “They can be as bad as the Peeves when it comes to ratting someone out.”

“Nah, they won’t bother you as long as you don’t wake them up, most of them just take the time to relax,” Remus responded with a shrug. “If anything happens I’ll just tell them I caught you sneaking and I’ll report you.”

“Who would have thought it’d be so convenient to have the law in your pockets,” you said with a teasing smile and got a slight shove from Remus. “And we didn’t even have to bribe him!”

“Oh, if I have to pull the Perfect card, you’re most definitely gonna have to make it up to me.”

You eyed Sirius, it was dark but the slight shine on his eyes was unmistakable, he was, like you, eager for something like that to happen.

“Should we split to cover more ground?” you asked as you stared down at the massive staircase.

“It would be the best…” Remus said hesitantly. He clearly didn’t want you to pull away from him.

“Promise I’ll be thinking of you,” you said, placing a short kiss on his cheek and disillusioning yourself. You exited the cloak with about 15 small balls hidden all over your pockets. You walked towards one end of the stairway and started to perform the spell over the small little balls. They looked almost kike gobstones, which was great since, even if they were visible, they wouldn’t be all that suspicious.

“Aren’t you going too?” Remus asked Sirius when the boy grabbed some of the balls from the bag and placed them in his pocket.

“Thought I’d see you do it a couple of times to make sure I got the hang of it,” Sirius said as casually as he could.

Remus groaned in return, “You so weren’t paying attention to either of us when we explained.”

Sirius didn’t even try to deny it, “You both looked too pretty, I’m sorry.” He didn’t miss the blush that crept up on Remus’ neck when he said it. “So, pretty boy, care to teach me?”

“Are you serious?” Remus dеadpanned. Regretting his words as they came out of his mouth.

The other boy’s smile grew wider, “As a matter of fact, I–”

“You have to flick your wand to the right, to the left, do a swish and then flick it again, towards 9 o’clock though. You got the words, yeah?”

“Rude,” Sirius said with a small pout and followed Remus’ instructions seamlessly. Moony was almost jealous of how easy it was for Sirius to do it. You and he had taken so long to develop the spell for him to come and master it in seconds.

“Like this?”

“You’re just a show off,” Remus retorted as he pushed Sirius lightly, but the other boy just took the chance to hold on to Remus’ hand and pull him closer. Both still under the cloak.

“Allow me to thank you, Professor Moony,” he said flirtatiously, planting a short kiss on the boy’s lips and slipping off the cloak with a disillusionment charm.

Remus had to take some time to recover, blinking and staring at nowhere in particular, only being brought back by the moving of the stair underneath him. He was taken by surprise and lost his balance for a mere second before he remembered where he was and what he was meant to be doing. He tried not to think so much about the fact that he could literally walk up to you or Sirius and kiss you and how you would happily return the kiss, because if he did, then he might as well call the whole prank off and bring the two of you back to the room now that Peter and James weren’t around.

By the time you were done with placing your swamp-bombs and turned to look for the boys, you realised just how hard it would be to find them now that everyone was using some kind of invisibility magic. You looked around for a while, trying to spot something that could reveal it, but it was almost useless, there was no way you’d spot either of them. You resorted to trying to use your other senses.

You took in a deep breath, trying to channel Vixen’s sense of smell, but while you had gotten much better at transfigurations, and you had managed to do things like getting those fangs out and ripping your skin, you were not so good as to be able to just do that, not without turning into Vixen at least. You were just about to do that when you remembered that you didn’t have to solely rely on your senses, but that you could rely on theirs too.

“Remus,” you whispered. “Hey, Remus! Where are you? I’m done.” You blinked a few times, looking around to see if you spotted any sort of odd movement, and you thought you saw something move in the background when you felt a pair of hands grab you from behind and drag you inside the cloak. You sucked in a breath, and his hand was over your mouth in a second.

“Shhh,” he whispered to your ear soothingly. “It’s me, Little Witch.”

“Holy shit, Rem, why the hell from behind?”

“I was there,” he replied with a shrug. “You seen Sirius?”

“Thought I saw something move over there,” you said pointing at a stair that was moving on the other corner. Remus leaned closer to you, his head almost resting on your shoulder as he looked at the point you referred to. He was squinting his eyes in the direction of your finger, not realising how close he had gotten to you or perhaps he would have gotten as nervous as you were.

But it was the good kind of nervous, the sort of heart-fluttering sensation that you got when you are close to the person that you like so much. While both Sirius and Remus had realised their feelings for each other and for you a while ago, you were just now noticing how much you liked Remus, and how many things about him you liked romantically. It was like being brought back to the Slug Party where you weren’t able to stop ogling him.

He really was outstandingly pretty, so much that you wanted to kiss him. “You know Rem…”

“Mhm?” he asked, tilting his head slightly as if trying to see better, while his eyes weren’t on you, he looked comfortable with the closeness.

“Sirius and I have a bit of a tradition…” Now he turned to you, eyebrows knit. “It seems like whenever we’re on a stealth mission,” you added, turning your face to his as well, you were standing so close that your noses were pretty much brushing against each other. “Something comes over the two of us, and we end up doing the most outrageous thing.”

“Like getting caught?” He teased.

You scoffed, “Of course not! We’ve never gotten caught.”

“What about that time at the Slytherin’s?”

“He got caught, I didn’t!” You retorted, He raised an eyebrow as if to remind you that the only reason you hadn’t gotten caught was because he had been there to stop you. He had been tempted to kiss you then, perhaps as tempted as he was now. “But that’s not it.”

“Then?”

“Well when the tension rises,” you leaned a little closer to him, “and the adrenaline is in the air–” Your mouth was centimetres away from his, “we tended to–”

You didn’t even finish, Remus got the idea and he was more than eager to join your little tradition. He was the one to close the gap, your lips crashing against his in a rather urgent manner. As if he was trying to kiss you for every time he had wished he could and had to restrain himself. He tasted like chocolate and cherry wine (probably because of the filling of the chocolate frog he got earlier).

Despite his urgency, it was you the one who bit his lower lip and pressed your tongue against his mouth. He was quick to part them and chase your tongue with his, there was something about the way he kissed you that made your knees weak, in the same way that Sirius’ kisses did. Like you wanted to melt into him, allow him to mould you to his body instead of moulding him to yours. But then there was the other part of you, the one that didn’t like losing control and fought back for it, your hand rushing to the back of his neck and pulling him down to you while allowing your hands to play with his hair. It was much shorter than Sirius’ but that didn’t mean you couldn’t pull on it just slightly.

He moaned into the kiss when you did and it was hard for you to hold back the smile as you separated for air. You were about to go back to kiss him when you heard a door shut from the side. You pulled apart from and looked towards it, biting your cheek to swallow the gasp you would have instinctively made.

“It’s Severus,” you whispered as you stared at the greasy-haired boy. He was walking with his head held high, his Prefect badge, perfectly polished adorning his chest. You rolled your eyes and turned to Remus again, his lips were rosy and he was also panting a little, you never thought he could look prettier and here he was, all kissed out and looking like a prince. “You find Sirius?”

Remus turned to you with eyebrows raised. He was too busy finding your lips to look for Sirius. “We have to distract him,” you mouthed, not daring to speak any louder, despite the charms the cloak had, you couldn’t risk it. You were not going to get caught by Severus Snape, of all people.

“How?” He asked.

You smiled mischievously at that. “Insecti,” you whispered, effectively conjuring about 4 thick flies, directing them straight towards his hair. Remus looked at you with interest, while the flies buzzed about all around Severus.

“Go away!” the Slytherin said as he frantically waved his hands over his head. Hitting one of them with the back of his hand but still being followed by the rest. “I said go away!” He said again, much more irritated. He was going up a flight of stairs, and you knew he wasn’t distracted enough to fall, regardless you were keeping a very close eye on him. Finally, he took out his wand, and the moment he did you pulled just the tip of yours from the cloak.

You smiled, “Mucus ad nauseam,” you whispered this time. He sneezed.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he said as he took out a handkerchief to stop his runny nose. It was a simple spell that you found in one of those trick books the boys had to sneak out of the restricted section. “It must be the fucking flies,” he complained again.

Remus threw you a diverted look and you winked his way. Severus sneezed again, waking one of the portraits. “Shhhh,” the man said by placing his hand over his mouth. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“It’s not like I can control them,” Severus muttered under his breath, and then sneezed again, this time a little louder. Just to piss him off. But he inadvertently woke up a couple more of the portraits.

They had already started whispering about, a lady in a horse shushing him while on another one, two men that had been playing chess started discussing his outrageous behaviour. “Who’s responsible for this squawking?” a man with an Auror uniform asked. Severus sneezed again. “Ah, it’s the Slytherin kid, of course, it’s the Slytherin kid,” Said Lady McDougal as she pointed at him.

Severus rolled his eyes, trying to hold his next sneeze while also hitting one of the flies with his hand. Remus turned to you, pulling out his own wand and pointing it towards him. “Sonorus,” he whispered.

“Stupid ancient portraits, they should start minding their own fucking business,” he muttered again. Except this time, Remus’s charm had made his voice a lot louder. So loud that instead of a whisper to himself, as he intended, his voice resonated all over the Grand Staircase. He froze, looking around the portraits as he gulped.

“Who are you calling ancient?” A very old man asked from the right wall. “I thought you’d be wiser since you’re a member of my house.”

Severus was about to apologise, but he sneezed instead. “And he won’t stop making noise even after we asked him!” the portrait that had shushed him first added.

Some portraits were looking at him with disapproving glances, others were muttering among themselves while, the most outspoken ones, were straight up telling him off.

“Cannot believe the prerequisites for becoming a Perfect have stump so low that someone like you has gotten the honour,” a man with curly black hair added. “When I was the Headmaster of this fine institution you could only achieve such a position by being at the epitome of the student body. Only truly exemplary students…”

“Shut up Nigellus,” another portrait said. “Nobody liked you when you were Headmaster!”

“He kind of reminds me of…” you muttered as you looked at the portrait of Nigellus, who had now engaged in a heated discussion with the portrait of a Quidditch player.

“Nigellus Black,” Remus said with a smile. “He’s nothing like our Sirius but he’s got those pretty eyes of his.”

“Should have known…” you smiled as you turned to him.

Severus sneezed again, successfully driving the attention –and anger– of the quarrelling portraits towards himself.

“Well boy, what are you still doing here? Go lock yourself in your common room or something!” Nigellus said, you snickered, covering your mouth with your hands to avoid making a sound.

Severus wiped his runny nose with his sleeve. “BIoody portraits!” He said as he rushed towards one of the halls, and away from the stairs.

“BIoody portraits,” one of them mocked in a high-pitched tone as he passed by. It was the portrait of a younger boy, and he didn’t think twice before flicking his index and middle finger at him.

“Let us sleep!” an old lady with a flower dress shouted from the very top.

Severus cursed under his breath as he shut the door, loud enough to get cursed again by the rest of the portraits. “Slytherins,” Lady McDougal said with a sigh, “It had to be one of them.”

Another lady agreed with her while some Slytherin wizards shook their heads in disapproval. Meanwhile, you and Remus couldn’t stop eyeing each other with a satisfied and diverted look. That’s when you saw green sparks coming from one of the doors.

“Is that the Slytherin boy again?” One of the portraits asked.

“Let’s go,” you said, knowing full well it had been Sirius and not a Slytherin. By the time you and Remus got close enough, you could distinguish his beautiful black curls through his disillusionment charm. Remus extended the cloak around him and suddenly the three of you were back in the little safe heaven James’ invisibility cloak provided.

“That little act of yours was brilliant,” Sirius said with a smirk in a low tone. “Where next?”

“The Great Hall,” Remus said. The three of you made your way towards it, stopping by the library before you got there. “We should probably lock it…”

“Or they’ll try to give classes inside,” Sirius added.

“A simple locking spell won’t be enough,” You said and took a deep breath. “What if we disappear it?”

“What?” Remus asked with a frown. “How?”

“We could hide it,” Sirius said with a nod. “Make it seem like it has disappeared even if it’s still there.”

“Exactly, something close to a disillusionment charm, but for things.”

“And then we could fill it up with something like escargot slime, nobody would want to get close to it.”

“Snail,” you said before Remus even threw you a confused look. You had no idea why Sirius would remember the French word (which was far more complicated) than the English one but one time you had forgotten how to say spoon and went for cuchara instead. You turned to Sirius, “Where would we even get snail slime, though?”

“Don’t worry about that,” he said with a smile and turned to the massive library doors. He took in a deep breath and cast a disillusionment charm, followed by you and then Remus. The door had completely disappeared after the third spell. Sirius smiled and turned to the door. “Cochlea bitumine,” he said, suddenly there was a green, snot-like slime all over the floor and wall. You sighed, it didn’t stink, but the smell was rather potent.

You took a swamp-bomb from Remus’ pockets and stared at it for a second, “I think they’ll rather enjoy this ambience,” you smiled and hid it inside the smile, while you avoided touching the viciousness of it altogether. Then you whispered the words of the spell. Sirius imitated you, and you ended up hiding about 6 of them just in the area.

The great hall remained pretty empty at night, you had never been there, but the boys were familiar enough, apparently, the ghost didn’t really like being there when there wasn’t people, there were no portraits, and while the charms in the sky became a little fickle when there were people there after hours, it much easier, once you were inside.

The complicated part was getting in. Since that’s where the Prefects gathered before and after their patrol, it was much harder to get through the open halls that took you inside. Lucky for you, you had taken the cloak, which meant your life would be made easier.

“Ready?” Sirius asked with a smile. You were standing just below the stairs, and peering up at the hall. There were three Hufflepuff prefects there. You recognized one of them as Alex Wood’s classmate, but you weren’t familiar with the rest.

“We could try to distract them first?“ you said.

“But then they would know someone’s out and about, and James and Peter would have people looking for them, they have no cloak.”

“Then we become as stealthy as ninjas,” Sirius said with a confident nod. He’d been reading some Daredevil comics Andromeda had sent him and he had been fascinated by the idea of them.

“I could turn into Vixen.” You shrugged, “they would never figure out I’m a student and not just a rogue fox.”

“It’s not as believable as if Wormtail did it…” Remus replied as he shook his head.

You were still discussing strategies when a ghost mounting a horse came in screaming through the side. “Someone has been in the classrooms,” he roared. You grabbed both boys’ hands and dragged them towards the great hall as the Hufflepuff scattered from the door and tried to talk to the very altered ghosts.

“I guess they’ve been discovered,” Sirius whispered as you all arrived at the Great Hall.

“Mhm,” you agreed. “We need to be more careful now.”

“Perhaps not quite,” Remus said thoughtfully. “They’ll probably go talk to the portraits, and Severus was the one causing a mess, so they might pin the classroom incident on him too.”

“Sir Pendragon would have said Potter and Pettigrew were there if he had spotted them. He’d take any chance to drag either of us down.”

“Huh? Why?” you asked curiously.

“Peter thought it would be funny to share a rumour about him in second year. He told everyone he didn’t lose his head on a joust, but that it had been eaten by a Wilddeoren,” Remus explained.

“They were a lot more common back in the day,” Sirius added. “Anyway, I think Sr. Nicholas found out it had been Peter and told Sir. Pendragon since he wanted to join the headless hunt. The man has hated all of us since then.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You should make friends with the ghosts, not make them your enemies.” Sirius just shrugged, smiling and sending you one of those winks of his. He then pulled some orbs from his pocket and placed them on your hand. “Ready to cause mischief?”

“Definitely,” you retorted with a smile, placing them in your pockets and then grabbing another handful. You disillusioned yourself before stepping out of the comfortable warmth of the cloak and walked to the back of the hall. You did hear the uneasy rumbling of the ceiling, as if it knew someone was around when they shouldn’t be, but you ignored it until you got all the way to the teacher’s table. You placed swamp-bombs underneath it, three by the windows and some on the closer gargoyles. Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus were making sure all the tables had swamp-bombs underneath them. And for good measure, they also hid a couple next to the floating candles.

Once you were done, you all reunited back in the same spot near the door, it was Remus –who still had the cloak– the one that dragged you inside as soon as he spotted you, or rather, smelled you, since he’d managed to do that way before the saw through your disillusionment charm.

“Hey,” you said with a smile once he pulled you to him.

“Hey,” he responded, like the idiot in love he was. You smiled, as you looked up at him, and he leaned in to press a short, quick kiss on your lips. “Sirius is on his last bomb.”

“How do you know?” you whispered.

“I counted them,” he told you with a shrug.

“No wonder he calls us nerds,” you said with an amused scoff. You were both pulling Sirius into the cloak mere minutes later.

“Where to now?” He asked with a smile, Remus was tempted to press a kiss onto his lips as well but decided perhaps right at that instant it wouldn’t be proper. Not that either of the three cared too much about proper, but Remus still had more common sense than the two of you.

“The tower,” you said as you yawned.

“You tired?” Sirius teased. You blinked and shook your head in response. Not that you didn’t have perfect reasons to be tired, but the idea of falling asleep in the middle of a prank was so absurd to you, that being tired –no matter how sleepy you actually were– seemed preposterous.

Sirius tightened his lips as he tried to hold back a smile, he had known this for a while, but when you were sleepy, you got into a cuddly mood, and when you were in a cuddly mood, he got to be as clingy as he wanted to be. He wondered if he’d be able to hug you and Remus at the same time later that night, without having to turn into Padfoot, and picture how amazing that might be.

“You think they’re outside still?” You asked as you leaned your ear on the door.

“They’re not,” Remus said confidently. “Even the portraits are asleep now.”

“Good,” you said as you cast a silencing spell on the door and pushed it open. “Let’s go!”

The portraits at the Great Hall were also much calmer now, which is why you tried to be as quiet as possible as you climbed up the stairs that would lead you to the Astronomy Tower. “Looks like they’re already falling asleep,” Sirius said. “You think they’re still mad at Snape?”

“They won’t get over being called ancient anytime soon,” Remus said with a smile. “And with how much they gossip, they might turn the rest of the portraits in the castle against him as well.” You let out a low giggle after that and covered your mouth almost in an instant. When you heard one of the portraits wake up the three of you threw a look at each other and rushed towards the tower as fast and stealthily as you could.

Once you got to the stairs you looked up, it was a rather long stairwell, leading all the way to Professor Spellman’s territory. The divination classroom was dark and gloomy at night. There was a rather faint light coming from the window, but the classroom was only lit by a single black flamed candle. Spellman had talked about that in a previous class.

According to him, black flame candles were better than normal candles in divination spaces because they didn’t disturb the light from stars as much.

“Lumos,” Sirius said and pulled out the tip of his wand from the cloak. “I don’t think there’s any ghost here now,” he whispered as he turned to you.

“Prefects don’t come here often either. They do check the top of the observatory, but that’s just because some people use it to make out.”

“Oh, really?” You said with a smirk, managing to shake off the sleepiness a bit more.

“Don’t get any funny ideas,” Sirius told you and you pouted as you looked at him.

“You’re the one with the funny ideas most of the time,” you retorted. Remus shook his head in amusement, took some of the swamp-bombs and handed them over to the two of you.

“Focus, we can discuss those funny ideas once we’re done.”

Sirius turned to you with an eyebrow raised and a smirk that you retorted with a raise of an eyebrow and a similarly satisfied smile. After the small exchange, the two of you went on your way to set up the classroom. Once you were done, the three of you stepped out and went straight to the observatory. You split up again, this time not bothering to disillusion yourselves, and started placing some swamp-bombs all over the place.

When you were done, you walked over to one of the small lookout spaces and leaned both of your arms on the railing, looking out towards the Black Lake. It was the same railing in which Evan had threatened you not so long ago. If someone had told you then that he would save your life months later you would have called them crazy. And here you were, in that same railing, thinking of how sudden the change had been.

You took a deep breath, trying not to let thoughts of that night cloud over your happy ones, “What is it?” Remus asked as he approached you, leaning close enough that your shoulders bumped into each other.

“Nothing,” you said almost in a whisper. He raised one of his eyebrows. “Everything,” you sighed and then yawned. “Godric! Why am I so damn sleepy,” you asked as you rested your head on his shoulder. “It isn’t even that late...”

Remus turned to his watch, “It’s almost 2,” he said.

You yawned again. “I didn’t even wake up that early,” you complained. Your eyes were closing on themselves, and Remus was tall, warm and so reassuring that your eyes almost refused to stay open.

“But you had one hell of a day,” he retorted softly.

You hummed in response. “That indeed,” you yawned. “But still, there’s something weird about it…” you said with a long sigh. Remus was thinking of an answer when he felt a little bit more of your weight reclining against him. He turned towards you only to notice your evened-out breath and completely relaxed expression.

“Little Witch?” he whispered, the lack of response confirmed his hypothesis, you had fallen asleep as you reclined into him. Remus smiled, looking at your slightly parted lips as you breathed in and out the chilly winter air. He wasn’t sure he had ever had the time to look at it from such an angle.

Not that you hadn’t already used his shoulder as a headrest, but he had never felt comfortable just blatantly staring, in case someone else was watching, in case somebody noticed how irrevocably in love he was with you. But you knew it now, and Sirius knew it too, and you were both okay with it. So he stared, at your lashes, and your nose, and the curve of your lips, like he was seeing you for the first time, even if he had been dreaming with them for months now.

The snow was gently falling outside, the lake shimmered with the reflection of the stars and the forest was as dark and alluring as ever. But not even the beautiful, shimmering stars in the sky were lovely enough to divert his attention from you. He was in a trance so deep that he didn’t even hear the steps from behind.

“Hey Moony did you–”

“Shhhh,” Remus said softly, turning to Sirius as he rushed a finger over his mouth. “She’s fallen asleep.”

Sirius frowned and tilted his head, you had never fallen asleep in the middle of a prank. “Don’t you think that’s weird?” Sirius whispered.

“With the day she had?” Remus retorted. “It might just be the only thing she’s done that makes any sense.”

Sirius shook his head with a smile, “It’s not the only thing,” he retorted, leaning in closer to Remus, and laying his head on the boy’s free shoulder. “She got us together, and we make sense together.”

It was almost ironic, that when Remus finally managed to rip his gaze away from you, it was only to look at Sirius. Sirius with his confident smile and sparkling eyes, he would have sworn they were shinier than the stars and the shimmering reflection of the crescent moon in the black lake. The snow might have been falling like glitter in the water and dissolving into sparkly droplets of dew, but his eyes were lost on the endless grey of his best friend, his boyfriend. Remus smiled, “Yeah, we make sense together.”

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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billwidoll · 6 months ago

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Sweet as Cherry

Summary: You reject yourself to be with Rafe and when he finds out about this, he was ready to make your life hell Until you get a date

Warnings: for over 18s, verbal violence, physical violence, psychological violence, Toxic and aggressive relationship

Author's Notes: This story is a little heavy and if you don't like it, don't read it

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It all started on a normal Thursday afternoon, you were at college waiting for the next class to start. It turns out that there was only you in the room, you were like the nerd in the room, so you were always the one He arrived earlier. but incredibly Rafe Cameron was there too And it didn't take long for him to talk to you

"Hello... you and Y/n?" Rafe says smiling at you

You were surprised by Rafe's greeting, he was the popular one in college and a bad boy, obviously you didn't like these types of things or these types of Boys

"Oh hi...I'm Y/n" you say with a friendly smile at Rafe

And he smiles with his smile

"Aren't you going to ask who I am, doll?" Rafe speaks with a disgusting smile

You laugh at this comment causing Rafe to hiss in confusion

"For God's sake, who doesn't know who Rafe Cameron is?" You say smiling and that also makes Rafe laugh a little.

"okay... so I'm famous to you?" Rafe speaks, sitting on a chair that was next to them.

"and...like that. But it doesn't fit that much!" You say in a joking tone.

In reality, you didn't even know why you were being so attentive to Rafe, you knew what he was like and how he treated people. Maybe he was just trying to be nice to you to just copy the homework he didn't do.

When Rafe was about to say something else, the teacher and some other students arrived at the time, interrupting them.

It was obvious that Rafe was frustrated, he was winning you over, he was feeling it. Rafe had his eye on you for a long time, but never tried anything, so he decided this was the time

You sat at a table you always sat at, but this time Rafe was your tablemate and you didn't understand because he always sat in the back, far away from you.

"ae! Y/n! How about you meet me at my house at 5pm? I have a surprise for you" Rafe says in a whisper because of the teacher

"Sorry Rafe...but I'm going to study today" you say giving him a friendly smile, you weren't lying you were really going to study

"Ah, come on? This is a chance for us to meet, don't you think?" Rafe speaks with a hopeful look

"how about another day, hun?" You speak last, turning your attention back to the books

And Rafe couldn't deny that he was very upset and sad about it, you were the first girl to not accept an invitation from him. But he wasn't going to give up

Fourdayslater

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After two days, Rafe couldn't stop and think about you. He was always stalking you on Instagram or any social network, He was always going to the coffee shop you worked at.

You were at work on another normal day and Rafe ended up showing up there, you thought he had just stopped by to say "hi" but Rafe's intentions weren't like that.

"Hi Rafe! What are you doing here?" You ask, giving a friendly smile from behind a counter.

"Ah...I came to see you.” Rafe says giving you his best smile and it ends up leaving you embarrassed

"Well... I won't be able to pay attention to you now because I'm working..." You say, your cheeks turning red.

"what's your problem with y/n? Always avoiding me, always making an excuse..." Rafe speaks frustratedly to you and that makes you angry

"I'm sorry if I'm too busy a girl for you!" You shout, but then restrain yourself because you are at your workplace

"okay... and so?" Rafe says it like you and he were having a lovers' fight

"Rafe...What do you want from me, hun? I would do anything for you to leave me alone now!"

You talk already stressed to him

"A date!" Rafe says simply

"a date?" You repeat and he nods

"Yes! Me and you in a restaurant, what do you think?"

Rafe speaks, approaching you and increasing a smile on your face.

"no, I don't want to go on a date with you, Rafe"

you say, lowering your head, you've never turned down a date. But going out with Rafe was too much for you, you didn't want to be another prize in the His

When you refused Rafe's invitation his physiology simply fell, Rafe's eyes quickly darkened, he was starting to break out in a cold sweat

"what? Are you saying you won't go out with me?" Rafe speaks sounding like a robot that was about to attack you and you were scared there

"and that's right Rafe, I don't want to go out with you now or ever, okay?" You speak harshly, ready to serve the next customers, leaving Rafe alone and angry.

Fourdayslater

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After you didn't want to go out with Rafe, he decided to make your life hell. When you woke up he was there somewhere watching you and you knew it, he was making fun of you From you somewhere in college, he kept treating you like a slave when he went to his work place. But the worst part is when he followed you on the street or when he sent you gifts and love letters or Threatening

You were already tired and fed up with everything Rafe was doing to you, but the worst was going to happen on Wednesday night.

You were in your apartment with the doors locked and the windows too. Everything was calm, so you went to the bathroom to take a shower, going there you ended up taking off your clothes and getting into the hot, bubbly bathtub.

You lay down in the bathtub and closed your eyes, resting. But out of nowhere you end up hearing a voice behind you

"so beautiful...it's a shame it's not mine" Rafe says standing in the doorway smiling, this makes you get up quickly showing off your naked body

When you realize it, you immediately grab a towel that was close to you.

"What are you doing here Rafe?! Can you leave me alone!" you say, screaming desperately, covering yourself with the towel

"no, honey, don't cover yourself, I was seeing a beautiful view" Rafa says walking slowly towards you

"Rafe...please...leave me alone...please" you said with tears in your eyes and slowly moving away with each step Rafe took

"Leave you alone? Why would I leave the most beautiful girl alone?" Rafe speaks with his threatening voice and dark eyes

Now, finally you and Rafe were face to face. Looking deeply, Rafe looked at you like a predator, but you only knew how to be afraid

"...what do you want from me?" You speak with the tears slowly coming down

"I just want a date, my doll" Rafe says almost in a whisper, running his hands over your red face

"Okay, okay. And I'll go out with you, okay?" You say accepting almost desperately

"Do you understand? It's so easy to accept being my girlfriend" Rafe says, smiling like he's crazy and holding your face

"What? Rafe...and just a date, I'm not your girlfriend." You say amazed and Rafe shakes his head no

"Yes, you and my girlfriend yes, and then you will be my wife" Rafe says smiling but squeezing your face, Making you have tears in your eyes even more

"You don't want to make me angry, right? You know what I do when I'm angry." Rafe speaks clearly threatening you

Soon after, he kisses you desperately and madly, the kiss had fear, passion, love, aggression, all emotions flowed from that kiss. Now you were definitely Rafe's

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respectthepetty · 18 days ago

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Before episode three of Perfect 10 Liners continued the love story of these two color-coded boys in love,

It gave me small glimpses of the other color-coded boys in love.

And I'm intrigued by the Lapis Lads.

I don't know if Faifa is truly flirting with Wine or if this casual affection is the norm for him since Yotha threatened him to not behave with Wine as he had with other people, but I think that is the point.

Wine won't be able to tell if Faifa likes him or if this is all just part of Faifa's personality.

Unlike these two where it's obvious one likes to annoy and the other likes to act as if he is annoyed,

Wine seems impersonal and sad, so if he can't get a proper read on Faifa, who comes across as aloof and nosy, I'm going to eat them up because this is truly a battle of two Blue Boys making the worst impression on each other through their color's worst traits.

Just like Red Rascal Arc is leaving a horrible impression on me since the show is determined to remind me he is a Manchester United fan every single week! I don't care if he has Rashford's red jersey! GET IT OUTTA HERE!

And just like that, I'm sent back into the past where Arc has just caused and accident due to his road rage, and Yellow Yal Arm is just "no biggie" about it all. He seems kinda into it actually.

But I don't have to dwell on that kink too long because Blue Boy Sand, in his "relationship" shirt, is clearly already dating Orange Oddity Pond, with his very orange Thai tea and Spider Man hoodie, so as a person who sat through sixteen episodes of We Are for Marc x Poon, I'm thankful my prayers were answered in this series. Amen.

I'm also feeling Blue Boy Warm being in contact with Arc's mom because I see you, Mrs. Robinson! Arc better watch out before he gets a new daddy. Purple Person Cop knows. He sees the writing on the wall.

I'm going to ignore the elephant in the room, or the tiny worm if you ask Pipo, because I want to point out that JJ is looking very adorable in this show, and this scene gave me time to really notice all the yellow in Arm's room. The elephant is hiding behind the yellow couch, but also there is a yellow clock, his yellow bag, and the subways in the painting are also yellow.

I like that in an effort to ignore the elephant he saw, Green Guy Pipo changed his shirt to an Apocalypse Now shirt.

Where would Arm and Arc be without their Blue Boy Besties? LOST and friendless, that's where!

Arc wants Arm to know more about him, but all Arm needs to know is Arc's color is red; therefore, he has anger issues, he is persistent to the point of stalking, and the sex will be 🔥🌶🔥, but somehow, I think Arm already knows.

Orange Oddity Pond is doing such a great job communicating and taking up all of Sand's attention while also giving rides. This is how you balance the negative with the positive as an Oddity. You hear that Peaceful Property's Somkid!

Color-coded boys in love and their friend Steve.

It's real gay of Arc to keep staring at Arm's lips while berating him. It's giving >instigating a fight so his hands will be on me< and, once again, I think they are both aware of this.

And I end the episode with their color-coded gears interlocking before the preview decided to show me a bottle being smashed over Arm's head.

But at least he'll be wearing a color-coded appropriate smiley face shirt when it happens!

Because color-coded boys in love get happy endings, even if car accidents and bar fights are part of the journey to that happy ending.

I see you, kinksters.

#perfect 10 liners #color coded boys in love #the colors mean things #episode three #I'm excited for the Lapis Lads #and I'm not mad at whatever is happening between Arm x Arc #because apparently they are into it

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hummingbee-lievable · 4 months ago

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Song of the Day #24:

'Mile Magnificent' by Molly OfGeography (released 2019).

youtube

An apartment when it's empty echoes lovely, bright and clean

Sing odes to green-blue water that we stole so it comes free

All things end, it's part of living; forest fires feed the trees

Lift your glasses full of sunshine, sing a toast to gasoline

Track #4 on 'Myths'.

Fun fact: Molly refers to this song as 'The Song My Producer Said I Was Not Allowed To Name “CHICAGO IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK”'.* Honestly, her descriptions for so of the songs on this album are hilarious:

'1) The Song That Made My Producer Go, “Wait, What Was That Bit About Worms?”

2) The Song My Producer Said I Had To Append A Parenthetical To So That People Would Be Able To Find It Because The Lyrics Never Mention The Title Once But I Was Raised On Fanfiction So Joke’s On You, Pal! I Love A Long Title With A Parenthetical In It!!!

3) The Song That Is Sad'

Pretty dang accurate, honestly. Also, I think she has a Tumblr!!! *Gasp.* What if I...tag her???

@ofgeography Hiiii and thank you, your music is amazing.

I did it bees and knees (yes, this is my hip modern way of including every kind of person, fight me or provide more hilarious options; I'm content with either option).

I have had a fun time perusing this flavourful dose of humanity's wild website and I think my fun fact today should be her story where she becomes a donut god:

You're welcome, singular entity that reads this blog (that entity being my sister and/or the rogue bots, doesn't matter, we're all friends here).

Personal blurb: Alright, full disclosure time: I discovered this artist because of the 'Good Omens' fandom. Someone said we were missing out on feelings and shared this song, and when I tell you I felt those feelings, I certainly don't mean that I danced to this on repeat for several months (and her 'Hanahaki (Bloom)'), often at 3 in the morning in the bathroom. Of course not.

youtube

Pro tip: dancing with your toothbrush in your mouth is a choking hazard, but in the spirit of Alanis Morissette, I recommend doing it anyway:

youtube

One of my favourite books in the world is 'The Overstory' by Richard Powers. In it, one of the themes that arises often is the concept of pyrophitic serotinous plants (it's okay, I won't remember it either). They are plants that need fire to open. (There are actually different types of pyrophitic plants, from passive to fire-activated but I probably shouldn't start talking about that because you'll need to pull out the duct tape.)

(Technically, 'serotinous' plants are a category in which plants release seeds over a longer period of time, and it doesn't matter how they are released, but the seeds that open by fire fit into this category.) The eucalyptus tree, the lodgehole pine, and other trees encase their seeds in resin that can only be melted by fire (thereby releasing the seeds).

The thing that I love about this concept is this: we need to burn to grow. I recently read this book called 'Life in Oil' about the Cofàn tribe in Ecuador who were drastically impacted by oil companies. And the thing was: Yes. They were impacted horribly (physically, psychologically, environmentally, the works). They also survived. They figured out, through tumult and trial and falling apart, how to keep going.

This song screams to me of that same instinct. I mean, look at us. This is what we do, isn't it? We fight, we fall, we continue. We're just like every other aspect of nature in that we are born, and in our fight to continue, we impact everything around us. We're just a part of the cycle and eventually we will decay back to where we belong and serve as soil for our children. And all we'll be? A story. And after a while, not even that. Just a whisper of what was.

In a way? I find that freeing. We might as well live the life we want to live; how little it will matter. (This isn't absolution, please don't go murdering people.) I just mean that I don't have to put so much weight into every little thing. Not everything has to be joyful or depressing (and if we really think about it, everything is always a balance of both). It can just be what it is.

We are as we are. And we don't have to love ourselves for it, but we don't have to hate ourselves either.

I love the lyrics to this song. For a long time, I misheard 'We're animals of love/ the city never makes us beg' as 'the city never makes us pay' and I don't know why? But I kind of like that image.

We are animals of love. And that's okay.

We are the cogs in a continuous cycle and we always will be.

I think often of this monologue (content warning for the video, it's gory, but you don't need to watch it, you can just listen) from 'Midnight Mass' so often, in regards to this:

youtube

We just are. Everything just is.

#Youtube #midnight mass #mike flanagan #the overstory #richard powers #molly ofgeography #good omens #alanis morissette #this got way more existential than i planned #oop #life in oil #cofàn tribe

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aishangotome · 5 months ago

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Leon Dompteur: Even If The World is Destroyed

From A Hidden Oath: King of the BEAST (2024 Election) - Collection Event

Thank you @dark-frosted-heart for providing the SE video!

—

One night, when I got out of the bath, Emma was sitting on the bed with a book in her hand, shedding large tears.

Emma: S-sob... It was such a wonderful story...

Leon: You're so pure and cute to cry so much because you're so emotionally involved in the story.

Emma: It's embarrassing to be stared at like that.

Leon: It's okay, isn't it? Because I love you.

Chuckling, I wiped away her tears with my fingers, and her flushed eyes curved into a soft arc.

Emma: Thank you.

Leon: Yeah. Was that book such a tearjerker?

Emma: Yes, it's a love story set in a world that's being destroyed by natural disasters, and its not just sad, but the love between the characters is beautiful.

Leon: Can't the world be saved from destruction?

Emma: ... Right. The main focus is on how the two of them will spend the limited time they have until the world is destroyed.

Emma: Hey, Leon, what would you do if the world was going to end?

Leon: So it's not just this country, but the whole continent?

Emma lowered her eyes to the book on her lap.

Emma: I think one of the joys of reading is to imagine yourself as a character in the story and think about what you would do.

Emma: This time, it's such a grand story about the end of the world, so I was curious to hear what Leon would do.

Leon: I see. Thanks for letting me share in the joy of reading.

(––The world, huh?)

Those words brought to mind the smiling face of Emma in front of him.

(When I was a slave, I was moved from place to place, so I didn't have a place I could call home.)

(The royal court is the same, this is Leon's place, not mine.)

(But after meeting Emma, for the first time, I had a place I could call my own.)

(You loved the real me… my "world" is right here with you.)

(If that were to be destroyed––)

I suddenly noticed Emma staring at me intently.

Emma's eyes were so full of expectation for my answer that I couldn't help but pull her arm and lie down on the bed, holding her close.

Emma: Leon, what's wrong all of a sudden?

Leon: I just wanted to touch you. We can imagine, talk, and even embrace each other, right?

Emma: Hehe, you're right. I like this better too.

Leon: You really do say such honest and cute things.

Emma: Because I love being held by Leon, it's warm and reassuring…

Leon: Yeah, me too.

Emma: I'm sure even if the world ends, the warmth and reassurance Leon gives me won't change.

(You're not only warm, but you also smell sweet and nice.)

As I held Emma tighter to better smell her scent, a certain feeling welled up in my chest.

(My world… this place we've built together, I won't lose it no matter what happens.)

I leaned over Emma and kissed a lock of her beautiful hair.

Leon: If there's a premise that there's no escape from destruction, I'll just keep loving you even after it's gone.

Leon: Even if this world and our souls are destroyed, I'll be reborn over and over again.

Emma: Reborn...

I gently caressed Emma's cheek as she blinked her eyes in wonder.

Leon: Even if this world is destroyed, there might be another world somewhere else.

Leon: Or maybe the earth will gradually regenerate, and eventually new continents and countries will be born.

Leon: If that happens, it's possible that we'll be reborn in another world.

Emma: That's right! The idea of a new world being born, or living a new life, is very hopeful and wonderful.

Leon: Right?

Leon: And no matter where I'm born or what form I take, I'll definitely find you and come for you.

Leon: No matter how many times I'm reborn, I'll never forget you.

Leon: There's no way I could forget this love.

Emma: Hehe, you're so confident. But if it's Leon, I think you really could do it.

Emma: I'll never forget Leon either, and no matter how many times I'm reborn, I'll fall in love with you.

Emma: No, I think I definitely won't be able to help but fall in love with you.

Leon: I'll be reborn as a good man so you'll love me again.

Emma: I wonder if we'll ever be reborn as animals?

Leon: Ugh, it's possible. Even if I'm reborn as a lion and you're a rabbit, I'll still try to woo you.

Emma: I might be surprised and run away at first, but I'll be waiting.

Even in our playful banter, the feelings welling up in my chest felt hot and unwavering.

(No matter what happens, my home will never change, and I have no intention of losing it.)

(Even if the world is destroyed, I will continue to love you.)

I kissed Emma, who was smiling happily, as if to swear my feelings from the bottom of my heart.

FIN

#ikemen series #cybird #cybird otome #cybird ikemen #leon dompteur #2024 ikemen prince collection event #leon dompteur short story #leon dompteur collection event story #leon dompteur ikepri

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schrodingerscougar · 8 months ago

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Note: I don't feel like giving the poor pair a happy ending. I feel guilty for what I did to Soap in the previous part.

(part 2)

Simon had trouble sleeping lately. Every time he fell asleep, he dreamed of his best friend finding out he had kissed his girlfriend that night, and he interrogated him long enough to learn every little detail, from what her lips tasted like to how much they both enjoyed it.

In his dream the story went on as his imagination filled the gap between the kiss and the confrontation. It was full of gentle touches, delicate smiles, and secret meetings. There he knew how soft your skin was and what made you purr like a satisfied cat.

Whenever there was a chance he would remain alone with you somewhere in the hours spent awake, he immediately fled the scene and avoided talking to you. Hearing your voice and looking into your eyes would make him weak in the knees, and seeing that gorgeous smile of yours would be the nail in his coffin.

“What's wrong, Lt?” Johnny asked him one day, looking down at him from behind the bench.

The lieutenant finished the series he was doing, then put the barbell back to its place with the other man's help. He had to come up with something, a lie that could be good enough to avert the Scotsman's attention. “What makes you think I have a problem?”

Johnny let out a sigh after he sat on the floor and pulled up his knees. “I don't know, you're just strange lately. I noticed you've been avoiding my girl and since we work together, it makes things a little complicated.”

My girl. These words were heart-wrenching for Simon, he just wanted to stand up and leave to avoid this conversation. There was nothing he could have said to make the sergeant feel better without telling him about the kiss. The first one was his fault, he knew that, but you kissed him the second time.

“We just had a little argument, that's all. But I don't think that affects our job,” he said eventually.

“All right, I won't ask any more questions, I see you don't want to talk about it. But don't be too hard on her, okay? She was so sad throughout our trip during the leave. I don't want to see her like that again.”

Simon understood now. This relationship was serious from Johnny's point of view, while you–based on the way you've been apparently acting around him–had your doubts lately. It was his fault, he should have controlled himself better.

“All right, fine, I'll talk to her and we'll sort this out,” he promised.

“Thank you.”

So later in the afternoon he went to look for you, hoping you could have a normal conversation. He wasn't afraid that you would be pissed off, he was more terrified of himself not being able to keep his distance. Because he wanted to kiss you again, he wanted to tell you to break up with Johnny, beg you to choose him over his friend.

He found you in an empty briefing room, reading a book in the silence. He knocked on the door and waited for you to let him in. He could see the surprised look in your eyes, the hesitation when it came to letting him in.

“What can I help you with?” you asked as you closed your book.

Simon stepped inside and closed the door. “We need to talk about what happened back then. I want to apologize, I know I shouldn't have done that.”

Your expression softened and you stood up to walk over to him. “I kissed you too, so I should also apologize. But tell me this; do you want more from me? More than just one kiss?” you asked while you reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

He wanted to be honest, but something told him he shouldn't be. “You're dating Johnny, it doesn't matter what I want.”

“I can... break up with him.”

“No. He loves you too much.”

You let go of him and began to pace the room like a sad ghost. Simon could sense that you wanted more too, but you understood that your boyfriend's feelings were strong enough to make you stay. Breaking up would have broken his heart, and neither of you wanted that.

In the end you came to a halt and said, “I should ask Price to let me work with them. I don't want problems with you.”

“And Johnny?”

“He'll be fine, we can still be together. But if you change your mind, if you want–”

Simon was quick to interrupt you, repeating his previous words. “It doesn't matter what I want. He's my friend, I won't steal his girlfriend.”

“And if his girlfriend likes you?”

“This can never be more than that one kiss. That one time thing,” he clarified.

Before you could say anything, he nodded and left the room, not stopping until he reached his room and laid down on the bed. Saying those things was killing him, making him feel like crying for the first time since he was young. Why couldn't he forget you? Why couldn't you say you had been drink that night and it didn't mean anything? Why didn't you say you understood that being together couldn't happen?

He couldn't help but wonder if he had just forced you to remain in a relationship you didn't want anymore. If you still loved Johnny after what happened. But at the end of the day, it didn't matter. It was none of his business after all.

#ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #call of duty #mw3 #simon riley x reader #mw2 #modern warfare #john mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #john mactavish #soap #soap x reader #f!reader

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jennaajoseph · 7 months ago

Text

ㅤㅤㅤ ❛ Home. ❜ ⸻ Holden Worther x F!Reader.

── ﹙౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ SUMMARY. ⸻ Holden comes home after a long time at the mental hospital.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ PAIRING. ⸻ holden worther x fem!reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CONTENTS. ⸻ fluff, kinda sad if you ask me, bf!holden, generally sensitive topics, mentions of: mental hospital, drinking, rehab, failed suicide attempt, female reader.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ A/N. ⸻ an universe where Holden got help he deserved tbh. Can y'all write more fics for Holden pls??

This one has quite sensitive topics, feel free to correct me if it's needed! Thank you!

Also it took a longer time for me to upload smth cuz someone requested Holden and I wanted to post it first!

(also I think about doing a part two on that, we'll see.)

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ CREDITS. ⸻ photo - pinterest (cropped by me) , divider - @/cafekitsune.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©jennaajoseph﹚

After a failed suicide attempt caused by Holden's drinking problem, he finally agrees to get proffesional help. You were happy that he finally went to the mental hospital, where he was slowly getting better, going to rehab and therapy. Even if that meant not seeing him a lot, you were still happy that he was willing to work to become a better version of himself.

When Holden was in the hospital, he wrote you a lot of different stories. Your desk was always filled with sheets of paper. As time passed, his stories began to be less dark than before, and you took that as a good sign.

Sometimes he wrote you letters, writing about how he's feeling, and asking how you are feeling, how much he missed you, or how much he finally wants to finally see you and "kiss your pretty face". From the letters, you also found out that he started to really enjoy crafting. He sent you his every work; drawings, origami or small paintings made with acrylic paint.

Your room was full of things from him, and every time he sent you something new, you missed him even more.

⭑⭒⭒

Finally, when it was time for Holden to come back home, you couldn't hold your excitement. You were willing to help him with everything he needed, and support him all the time.

You and his parents drove to the hospital to pick him up. Of course, you were way more excited than them, but you were still glad they helped Holden get the help he deserved. They didn't show much emotion to anyone anyway, even themselves.

All of you were in the waiting room. Your leg bounced anxiously as you bit your nails. A bad habit of yours. Holden's parents were reading a magazine, not really caring about the world around them.

"Here for Thomas Worther?" A doctor appeared in the room, looking at some papers. Your head immediately jolted up when you heard his voice. Holden's mom confirmed, the doctor nodded, disappearing from the room the second after.

You let out an anxious sigh, but also a small excitement washed over you, finally being able to see Holden after a long time was something you were looking forward to for a long time. You couldn't visit him because of the policy. Only family members were allowed to, which was also quite limited because of his condition.

The door of the waiting room opened again after a while, Holden and a nurse entered the room.

"Okay Holden, wish you luck!" She smiled at him, and he nodded. The nurse turned to his parents and gave them some papers to sign, also talking about his therapy and rehab that he's still supposed to attend.

Holden quickly dropped his bags on the floor when he saw you. "Oh God, y/n" he quickly rushed in your direction. You stood up from your seat, and he wrapped his arms around you squeezing you tightly. You hugged him back as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. "I missed you so fucking much."

"Oh, Holden." You tried to hold your tears back, it was the first time you held him in almost 4 months. "I missed you too." You whispered, running your hand in his hair.

"I was scared that you won't be here." He gave you a pleading look, and your heart broke even more.

"Holden, I've been waiting for all this time." You cupped his face with both hands.

"I wanna go home..." He whispered, pressing your hands on his face harder. "...with you."

"Okay, we are going home soon, I promise." You reassured him.

"Tom," You both turned your head towards his parents and a nurse. "I think it's time for us to go home."

He quickly nodded grabbing your hand, and picking up his bags, everyone was ready to leave when the nurse spoke again. "Take care of yourself, Holden." She looked at him, then at you. You smiled at her gently.

"I will." He responded softly.

The car ride was filled with Holden's stories from the hospital. He sat very close to you, tightly holding your hand the whole time. He told you everything. What was his routine, his doctor visits, how his therapy looked like, what he learned. You couldn't stop listening. You missed everything about him.

⭑⭒⭒

"Let me grab this." His father said, when Holden wanted to pick his bags up from the car.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

His father carried his stuff into the house. When Holden stepped inside he didn't quite know what he should do with himself now, so his eyes just wandered around the house.

"Do you need something, Tom?" His mom asked from behind.

"No, no, i don't need anything." He replied.

His mother quietly nodded. His father stood next to her and sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "If you need something, we will be downstairs." He said.

"Okay."

There was a quite long silence afterwards that was interrupted by you stepping into the house. "Let me help you with the bags, Holden." You grabbed his backpack.

"Oh, right." He grabbed the rest of his stuff and slowly headed upstairs.

You took the last look at his parents and smiled gently. They returned the smile.

You went upstairs, right after Holden. He placed his bags on the floor and looked around. You quietly placed his backpack in the same spot.

He said turned back to look at you as you stepped closer to him, cupping his face with both of your hands. He gave you a pleading look again, and went silent for a second. "Did you cheat on me when I was away?"

A shocked look appeared on your face. "What? Holden-"

"Please be honest with me, you don't need to lie." His voice was getting cracky as a few tears rolled down his cheeks

You furrowed your eyebrows in sadness. Your heart broke at his words. The thought of cheating on him didn't even cross your mind. "Holden I could never do that to you."

"Please just tell me if you did." He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he broke down crying.

You held him, gently caressing his back, holding back tears. "I swear to God, baby I didn't."

"I was away for almost 4 months, how could you not." He sobbed against your neck.

"Because I promised that I'll be here for you, and I love you with my whole heart." You grabbed his face gently to make him look at you. This time you gave him a pleading look. "You are my home."

His bottom lip quivered as he pulled you closer to him.

"I promise you, I would never do anything like that."

He nodded his head slightly. You two sat on the bed as you helped him calm down a little.

"You promise?" He whispered.

"I promise, my love." You kissed his lips gently, and he held you tightly by your waist.

"I can't express how much I love you." He said, his grip getting harder on you.

"Easy, Holden, you are gonna crush me." You chuckled quietly, wiping his tears.

"I'm sorry, I just need you really really close." He said in almost begging tone.

"We can cuddle for a bit, is that okay?" You brushed your thumbs against his cheeks. He nodded instantly.

You both cuddled on his bed, his face buried in your chest, his hands holding you around your waist, this time not that hard.

"Did you saw the gifts I sent you?" He changed the subject, looking up at you.

"Of course I did!" You smiled.

"Did you like them?"

"I love them, Holden." You caressed his cheek with one of your hands, and he blushed. "You are very talented, you know that?"

"Maybe..." He murmured against your chest.

You rolled your eyes playfully, and placed your head on top of his. "You are."

"Okay" He grinned slightly. "I have something I didn't send you."

"Really?" Your eyes widened.

"Do you want to see what is it?"

"Of course I do!" You sat on the bed excitedly.

He smiled and grabbed his backpack. "I made it in one of my art therapy classes."

"Show me, please."

His hand was searching in his bag, after a second he pulled out two colorful bracelets. "I hope you'll like them." He held them up for you to see.

"You made that?" You took the bracelets from him, smiling. "They look wonderful!"

"They have yours and my name on it." He pointed at the beads with letters.

"Oh, that's right!" Your smile got wider as you saw that one of the bracelets has "Holden" written on it and the second one "y/n". "That's the cutest thing I have ever seen."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" You said, sliding the bracelet on your wrist. "I'll keep the "Holden" one and you'll keep the "y/n" one." You slid the second bracelet on his wrist too. "Now we match!"

He smiled widely, and held your face to give you a kiss. You quickly returned it.

"I'm so lucky to have you." He mumbled between kisses.

You smiled into the kiss. "I love you, Holden."

"I love you too, y/n, so, so, so much."

You giggled as his kisses got all over your face. "Easy baby, I'm not going anywhere."

"I know I just, I missed you so damn much." He pulled you closer to him, panting slightly as he stopped kissing you.

"I missed you too." You gave him a soft smile.

"Do you think you can stay for the night?" He gave you a sad puppy look. Begging you to stay with him. "I know that you have work-" You quickly cut him off.

"I can stay for how long you need." You whispered kissing his forehead. "My home is right there, with you."

⭑⭒⭒

After two weeks, Holden got more comfortable being at home. You drove him to therapy once a week to help him with his mental illness, and after that he went to alcohol rehab, helping with his drinking problems. These days were the most busy, you just sat outside the room he was in, and waited for a couple hours, but it was worth seeing his big smile when it was time to go home.

He also needed to fix himself a new routine, which you helped him with. You always reminded him to take his meds every morning.

He also didn't quit his hobbies. Every day he did something new for you, a drawing, story, poem, painting, bracelet or small origami. You always were excited to see what he did, and he was always excited to give it to you.

Holden was basically glued to you all the time, from the moment you woke up, to the moment you went to sleep. On the days when you had work, he woke up at the same time as you, made you breakfast and helped you get ready. Sometimes, in the morning, you two took a shower together which usually led to heavy make out session before work, or even sex when you had more spare time.

He always told you how much he appreciates that you are still here for him after what happened, and he tried his best to make you feel loved and safe, showering you with kisses, hugs or literally any physical contact — his favourite way of showing affection.

His parents were also glad for your help, even though you didn't really talked to them, you knew they were happy with your presence. They didn't really mind you staying for that long, but to be honest, you wanted Holden to move into your apartment when he finds himself a job. Your money from working at Retail Rodeo wasn't much to cover up for you two, and for safety reasons you wanted Holden to stay with his parents a little longer.

⭑⭒⭒

You finished showering, and dressed in your pajamas, quickly went on tip toes to Holden's room.

"Okay I'm done, you can go now." You closed the door behind you and saw him lying on the bed, smiling sheepishly. "What?" You grinned at him.

"Come here." He opened his arms, suggesting for you to cuddle with him. You quickly jumped into his arms and he rolled you over so now he was straddling you.

You sighed with a smile. "We are not fucking."

"Who said that I want to fuck?" He grinned and started kissing your cheeks.

"I know you Holden, you are a very horny person." You giggled.

"It's hard not to be around you." He looked into your eyes. You gently ran one of your hands through his hair and smiled at him. He stared at you for a good couple minutes before finally speaking. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

You rolled your eyes platfully. "C'mon, I'm not that beautiful."

He rolled his eyes, mocking you. "Yes you are, at least for me."

You smiled softly and caressed his cheek. "You are very handsome to me too."

He grinned widely. "Thank you."

"For what? Complements?"

"For simply existing, you helped me a lot." He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I'm very happy it was you."

You couldn't help but smile. Holden appreciated literally everything you did for him, even if it was something small, he would be head over heels for you, and it's allways been like this. He would always return the favour with something bigger than you usually did for him.

You grabbed his face gently, and pulled him into a kiss. "I'm very happy it was you too." You mumbled into the kiss.

"I'm excited for our future together." He smiled sheepishly when the kiss ended.

"You have no idea how excited I am too."

#holden worther #holden worther x reader #the good girl #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #fluff #fanfic #fanfiction

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queenshelby · 6 months ago

Text

Our Little Secret (Part 51)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

With the wedding coming up, Cillian and you made even more of an effort to remain on good terms than you ever did before. While he was away, filming the Peaky Blinders Movie, you video called him so that Mara could see her daddy every day.

Every day, before she went to bed, you allowed Cillian to read her a story over the webcam, whenever he was able to.

It was a small gesture that meant a lot to Mara, and it helped her and Cillian to maintain a connection despite the distance.

Your therapist welcomed the positive communication and reminded you that you were doing an implacable job by keeping him involved even despite his busy schedule.

During that time, you also noticed a slight change in Cillian's behavior. He seemed more relaxed, more at ease with himself, and with you.

"So, what's the plan for Mara's birthday next week?" he asked one evening when he skyped in from London.

"I was thinking a party actually. She has been at daycare twice a week and made some friends. I was going to invite them and their parents. My mum, Siobhan and Emma are coming too, and I think even your mum is driving down from Cork. I also invited two friends from my mother's group," you said, filled with enthusiasm for Mara's big day.

Cillian chuckled, his eyes filled with warmth. "Sounds like you got everything planned out," he said, sounding genuinely pleased.

"You know it would be nice for Mara if you could come," you added, hoping that he might be able to make the trip.

"I would love to," he said, "but you know I can't leave the set, Y/N. I have a busy schedule filming and I'm just hoping that things will ease up a bit in the next couple of weeks," Cillian said with sadness in his voice.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment, but you knew that filming was important for Cillian's career.

"I know, but what I am saying is that you are more than welcome to come if you wanted to," you repeated, looking him straight in the eyes through the camera.

"And I appreciate that, really," he nodded, taking a deep breath. "But I still need to wrap up this movie."

"I understand," you said softly, biting your bottom lip. "And, you know, you can always celebrate with her when you come back by taking her to the zoo or something. She probably won't remember the party anyway, but she will also remember the zoo," you chuckled, seeing how it was Mara's favorite place to go these days.

"You are probably right you know," Cillian conceded, his expression softening even further. "Now, did you call the carpenter to fix up the shelving in the living room? I told him that you would call and to invoice for it. You might need that done before the party," he continued, seeing how one of the built in shelves had collapsed after you tried to carry out some DYI work on it.

"No, he can't do it until the week after next, but Sean offered to fix it for me before the party which is nice," you informed him, noticing how Cillian's expression changed for a second.

"Sean, huh?" Cillian chuckled; his expression unreadable but you could hear a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Don't start, Cillian! Don't fucking start!" you shot back with irk, already feeling the familiar burn in the pit of your stomach.

"I didn't even say anything," Cillian smirked, his eyes glimmering as he studied your reaction.

"Then why are you acting the way you are when I bring up his name?" you asked, rolling your shoulders back, trying to release some tension in your body.

"I'm not. It's none of my business who you spend your time with so long as you keep Mara out of it," Cillian growled, scratching the back of his neck impatiently.

"You know what, I was actually thinking about inviting him to the party, as a friend of course and only if you would allow it. Because he has been a big help those last few days, running errands for me for her party while I was sitting my exams and he asked me whether he could come," you told Cillian nonchalantly, secretly enjoying his reaction.

"Oh, did he now?" Cillian said with a sigh as he adjusted the display setting. "So, you two are getting more serious then?" he enquired without looking at you.

You could tell he was slightly irritated, he clearly didn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing it on his face.

"Well, we are still taking things slow and we not being too serious about it. We agreed on no labels, but I still only consider him as a friend, with benefits," you replied, being brutally honest while watching Cillian's reactions closely.

"So poor Sean is still in the friend zone then, eh?" Cillian quipped, the corner of his mouth curling into a slight smirk before he quickly hid it.

You noticed it, and it stung a little, but you tried not to let it get to you.

"Yes," you confirmed, doing your best to maintain a neutral expression. "He has been very supportive and helpful lately and I like having him around, but there is no pressure between us. We are both free to see other people. That's the way it is for now."

Cillian nodded, turning his gaze back to the camera. "Fair enough and thank you for clarifying your relationship status for me. I just hope he knows that too, because I am not the one who needs convincing Y/N," Cillian said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Whatever Cillian. Can you just give me an answer?" you asked, your patience wearing thin.

Cillian's smirk faded, to be replaced by a look of annoyance. "What do you want me to say, Y/N? I don't want Sean around my daughter," he said firmly.

You let out a frustrated sigh. "Why not? He is a decent person and Mara won't even know who he is. There are other people there who are no more than friends either and there most certainly won't be any public display of affection," you argued , trying to reason with him.

Cillian sighed deeply, knowing that he couldn't win this argument. "Fine. He can come, but only if you make sure that nothing happens between the two of you that Mara might see, at least not until you are serious about him which, it clearly seems, will never happen," he relented , eliminating any obvious doubts in your mind.

***

Your mind began working overtime to decide a strategic approach to the situation. On one hand, you were glad that Cillian was allowing Sean to attend the party, but on the other hand, the caveat gave you a sense of unease.

You explained the situation to Sean on your next date when your mother was looking after Mara and, much to your surprise, he was very understanding about it.

"My parents separated when I was twelve Y/N. I get it, so don't worry, okay? I don't even have to come. I can help you set up and then leave before Mara and your mum arrive," Sean suggested, trying to make things as easy as possible for both of you.

"I really appreciate that Sean, but I don't want you to feel like you have to leave on my account, especially since you have been helping me so much those last few days," you told him sincerely.

"And I like helping you Y/N, because I know that being a single mum can be hard. Your ex hasn't really been making an effort to be here for Mara lately, so if I can do anything to help, I will," Sean replied with conviction.

"Cillian is away filming. That's his job Sean," you explained wearily, wondering if he had brought this up to upset you or validate his actions.

"I know, but he should really make an effort to be there for his daughter's first birthday, don't you think?" Sean queried, a hint of frustration coloring his voice.

"Maybe, but it's not my place to say or judge what he does, because he is still looking after us both," you responded, attempting to defuse the tension that had suddenly risen between you. "So, lets change the topic shall we?" you suggested, trying to keep the mood light and pleasant.

"I am sorry Y/N. You are right," Sean sighed, taking a deep breath before giving you a gentle kiss.

***

Later that day, after you picked up Mara and Sean went his separate way to catch up with some of his friends, he couldn't help but feel slightly let down by the conversation he had with you about the upcoming birthday party and confided in a friend about it.

"Dude, you're acting like you are in some kind of relationship with this chick," his friend Mark joked, taking a swig of his beer. "You told me that you two agreed to be friends with benefits. You don't owe her anything other than your time while you are hooking up and she doesn't owe you anything either! So why do you even want to go to that kid's birthday party?"

Sean sighed, shaking his head as he stared out the bar window at the busy cobblestone street outside.

"Because I want to make an effort for her daughter and make her see that I could actually be right for her, you know?" Sean replied, finally giving voice to his true feelings. "It's just that she is so damn stubborn most of the time, and I know that she still has feelings for her ex, which I can't really compete with."

Mark chuckled, slapping Sean on the back. "Well, he is Thomas Fucking Shelby, man," he laughed, burying the rest of his beer in one swift gulp.

"You are not helping Mark!" Sean rolled his eyes at his friend's remark. "I am trying here, you know?" Sean said, sighing again, exasperated.

"I know, and Y/N is a lucky woman to have you," Mark smiled, clinking his empty bottle against Sean's before signaling for another round. "But dude, you need to just relax and stop worrying about her ex. If she wants to be with you, she will. It's that simple."

"She said she just wants to be friends and I don't even want her to meet you guys because I am worried that I will look like a fool when she decides to go back to her ex," Sean sighed, sitting down on the couch in his apartment, feeling frustrated. "I mean, how am I seriously going to compete with someone like him, a famous fucking Hollywood actor?" Sean mumbled to himself as he paced around his apartment.

"You may not be able to, but she may also just play hard to get, which is what a lot of women seem to do these days," Mark reminded him thoughtfully as he watched Sean struggle with his thoughts. "Maybe you should focus on being the best version of yourself for your sake and not for hers, and then she will soon see if you are right for her or not," Mark added with a raised eyebrow. "Or you could find something that makes her ex look really bad. He is famous enough, so surely, with the right help, you can dig up some dirt," Mark suggested with a sly grin and Sean's brow furrowed as he contemplated Mark's words, his mind racing with ideas of how he could ruin Cillian for you, once and for all.

"Maybe I should try, yeah, but I don't want to fight dirty. Despite, I don't even know him or anyone who hangs out with him other than Y/N herself," he said, his morals preventing him from considering such a devious course of action.

"Well, let me help you then," Mark offered, pulling out his phone and conducting a quick online search. "I work for the Irish Times after all," his friend smirked, focusing on the task at hand.

Tags:

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#cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x reader

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kwinsispn3 · 5 months ago

Text

Princess in Distress

Pairings: Dean & Sam x child!reader

Word Count: 2,938

anon request: Hi lovely, I hope that your doing okay?

I know that this is a bit odd of a request and if your not into it, I won't feel bad for you to just be like no absolutely not.

So I'm really big on the fics where the readers like really young (around 4 or 5) and Sam and Dean rescue her on a hunt from where her parents died. And it's lots of tears and sadness and fluff and theirs lots of cute little nicknames like babygirl and princess and she goes to live with them because she has no where else to go. And of course she has to take a liking to one of the boys, either Dean or Sam, whichever one you want.

I know that's really weird, but I just like to read those because I think they're cute. And again, no pressure and if you don't like it or simply just don't want to write it, no worries.

And if you have any fic recs like that, if you wouldn't mind recommending that would be great.

A/N: Hey y'all I am back with another fic!!! I'm excited I am sitting down to write in this moment, I missed writing spn stories. I still come on here to check on things and read other writers stories. I hope y'all enjoy!

The Winchesters had gotten a lead on a demon case a few towns over in their home state of Kansas. Some of Crowley's demons were going around, taking the forms of innocent citizens to go undercover. The boys were able to track down a few so far, but unfortunately, none of them had made it.

The demons had beaten up the bodies of the original individuals so much that they were already dead by the time they had exorcised the demons from them.

Y/N's parents were among those individuals.

5 year old Y/N was living a normal, everyday life. She was close to starting kindergarten. Until everything took a turn.

Her parents Alan and Marisa Wesler, got possessed one night. The next morning, Y/N was under the care of two demons, wearing her parents like costumes. She did not notice at first, it eventually got to a point where it was clear, something was wrong. Y/N started asking questions, to which the demons would grow impatient as time went on, and ditched the act.

Y/N did not understand, it looked like her mother and father, but they were not acting like them at all. She wanted to trust them, but something about their demeanor did not sit right with her. She thought about calling the police, but didn't know what she'd say. She thought about running away, but didn't know where she'd go. Instead, Y/N made a plan to go to her neighbors house. The Merrick's, who were good friends with her parents. Little did she know, the demons had sensed her plan.

Y/N waited until it was 11:00 at night, when her parents would usually go to bed. It was hard for her to keep her eyes open this late at night, but she was determined to get help. She tiptoed down the stairs out of her bedroom, avoiding every creak she could. She approached the front door and looked behind her to make sure no one had hear anything. The coast was clear.

Turning the lock of the front door ever so slightly, and quietly opening the door a crack.

"Where do you think you're going, sweetie?"

Y/N whipped her head around to see her mother standing over her. Surprised, since she heard no one coming.

Sam and Dean had gotten word of where the next demons were headed, a town outside of Kansas City. They just hoped they would get there in time, this time around. The boys had tracked them down to a suburbs neighborhood.

They had been driving all day, it was now late at night. Dean drove through the neighborhood, Sam sitting in the passenger seat, looking for anything unusual. Sam wasn't able to locate an address, but they had tracked the location to this subdivision.

Sam rolled down the window, hoping he and his brother did not look as suspicious. It was almost midnight, so most of the inhabitants should be asleep.

As they drove down a street called Magnolia Ln, Sam looked at each house, and soon found one where the front door was wide open.

"Dean, stop."

"What? Why, what do you see?" Dean slowly braked, putting the car in park in the middle of the street.

"Look." Sam pointed out. Dean met his gaze at the open front door of the house.

"Doesn't that seem kind of odd?" Sam suggested.

The two looked over the house, when all of the lights went out, all at once. The brothers looked at each other and opened their doors in unison. Rushing to get their defense supplies and approached the house with caution.

The demon that had Y/N's mother snatched her up, the minute she found her trying to escape the house, and dragged her across the floor.

Y/N screamed. "Mommy! What are you doing, let go of me!"

"Not a chance in hell! Listen here, you are going to do exactly as I say." The female demon said. Y/N's father then entered the room in a rush.

"They've found us!" He whispered urgently.

"Who?"

"The Winchester's"

"You little terror! You led them right to us!" She slapped Y/N across the face and threw her across the room. She landed on the ground, tears welling in her eyes. She had no idea what was going on, or what her mother was talking about.

The demons smoked out of their meat, black smoke filling the air and escaping through the vents in the home. Y/N looked up in terror, then watched her parents both fall to the ground, lifeless.

Waiting a few moments for any sign, there was nothing. It was still and quiet. The little girl arose slowly, walking lightly over to her mother who laid still on the floor.

"Mommy?" Y/N called out, nudging the woman, but getting no response. "Daddy?" she tried her father, but nothing.

Sniffling, she backed away, almost frozen. Until she heard footsteps coming from outside the house. Y/N panicked, not knowing if there was something else coming after her, and ran to the nearest closet down the hall.

Sam and Dean entered the house, clicking their flashlights on so they could start looking around. Dean walked into the living room to find two bodies, a man and a woman. He sighed out of frustration, they didn't make it in time.

"Sam." He called out.

Sam's footsteps got louder, coming closer to Dean as he looked over his shoulder at the scene. His face dropping in regret. "Dean-"

"Let me just make sure, you go search the rest of the house."

Sam nodded and wandered off to check the rest of the house for any other family members. Upstairs, he found the couples bedroom, and a child's bedroom, with no sign of a child.

"Hey! I found a kids room, but I didn't find any kids." Sam announced as he came down the stairs.

"Do you think they killed their kid?"

"I'm not sure, no sign of anything." Sam sighed.

Meanwhile, Y/N hid in the corner of the hall closet, concealing herself behind as many coats as possible and tried to silence her cries.

"I feel like we're at a dead end here, there's no way we're gonna be able to keep up with these demons, they're too fast." Dean exclaimed, frustrated they had made no progress in the last week.

"I know, but we might have to skip their next stop, where ever that is so we can catch up to them eventually." Sam suggested.

"Or, we go find Crowley instead and get that son of a bitch to-"

"Wait." Sam interrupted.

"Sam, I'm getting tired of this, sometimes you gotta go straight to the source."

"No seriously, shhh. Listen." Sam whispered. They both stayed still and quiet. Sam's eyes widened, looking at Dean when he heard distant whimpers. They both walked quietly towards the noise, checking around the rest of the first floor until they found a closet that hadn't been checked.

Y/N heard the footsteps and the knob of the closet turned, and quickly quieted her sobs, scrunching up her small form closer into the corner. She saw a flashlight shine into the closet.

"Hello?" Sam whispered.

He started moving coats and other items, digging around in the closet. He pointed into the corner, revealing a little girl looking up at him with wide glossy eyes.

"Hey, are you okay sweetie?" Sam asked lightly. The little girl looked terrified, starting to cry. Sam gave Dean a glance, in which he responded with a look that screamed 'I don't know what to do'

"Alright, it's okay, c'mere." Sam huffed, reaching out for the little girl who couldn't back away anymore. She squirmed uncomfortably in his grip as he lifted her into his arms. "I'm not gonna hurt you." Sam reassured.

Dean stared with sad eyes at the child, who looked over at her dead parents in tears. Sam placed a protective hand over her head as he walked out of the house. Dean following behind.

"Okay, I'm just gonna have you sit in the car for a moment. I'll be right back." Sam opened the door to the backseat, letting the little girl out of his arms. It was getting chilly, Sam removed his coat and draped it over her small frame, to use as a blanket. Y/N accepted it shakily, moving to the far end of the backseat.

Sam closed the door as lightly as he could, trying not to frighten the girl. "Dean, what the hell are we gonna do? She's clearly terrified, and probably just saw her parents die."

"I know, poor kid." He whispered. Dean opened the back door and peeked his head into the backseat. "Hey kid, do you uh, have anywhere we could take you?" Dean hesitated.

The girl remained silent, trying to think, but didn't know of anywhere else to go. She shook her head no. "Nothing? No family, friends, grandparents?" Dean asked, getting no response.

"Well, it's really late, she's probably exhausted. Let's just take her with for the night. I don't know what else to do, can't really take her to the police and explain all that." Dean motioned to the house.

"Sure, I guess." Sam trailed off, looking over at the car. Sam and Dean had never had responsibility of a child like this, under these circumstances.

Dean rounded the car, getting in the front seat and looking back at Sam who stood there in disbelief.

"C'mon, we'll figure it out in the morning!" Dean called out.

Sam got in the car, looking back at the little girl who looked right back at him with bewilderment. He gave her a small smile as they pulled off the street and out of the neighborhood. Leaving life as she knew it, behind.

Y/N's eyes slowly opened, staring at the ceiling of a room she did not recognize. Slowly, she sat up in an unfamiliar bed, looking around the small room. Her gaze stopped at two men, who were sitting at a table. One was typing on a laptop, the other slumped over the table, sleeping with a beer still in his hand.

Sam looked up, nudging a passed out Dean. "Hey, Dean, wake up. She's awake."

Sam had been up all night trying to find information on her family and what they could possibly do.

"Hi, morning sweetheart. Um, do you uh, remember anything from last night?" Sam asked lightly.

The little girl thought to herself, remembering the events of the previous night. Her parents acting scary, black smoke, then they were gone just like that. She nodded frantically.

Sam's face was apologetic for the girl. Dean sat still at the table, letting his little brother handle this, as he was still trying to fully wake up. "Could you tell us your name?"

"Y/N"

"Y/N... that's a very pretty name. Well, I'm Sam, and this is Dean. We want to help you, if that's okay with you."

Y/N slowly nodded yes. "Where's my mom?"

The brothers looked at each other with a look that Y/N couldn't decipher. There was a long pause, neither of them knowing what to say. "Is she passed away? My daddy too?" She asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"Um, Y/N, I don't know how to tell you this... but, yeah." Dean unwillingly chimed in. "Why." she started to cry. "Why are they gone?"

"It's ah, a little hard to explain." Dean said.

Sam cautiously went over to the bed she sat in, awkwardly sitting down on the edge. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was really scary. Mom and dad were really mean for a while. I was gonna get help, but they didn't like that. And then there was black smoke everywhere. I think it hurt them." Y/N said in between sniffles.

"I think you're right" Sam said. Y/N looked up at him. "See, my brother and I are trying to figure out what the black smoke is doing. We help people and try to stop bad things from happening."

"Oh... can you help my mom and dad?" she innocently asked.

"What's important, is that we help you." Dean stood up. "Do you have a last name?" Dean asked, hoping they could track down some family for Y/N to stay with.

"Uh, Wexler, is how I think you say it." she said quietly.

"Wexler? With an X?" Sam asked as he walked back over to his laptop.

"No, there is no X. It's like Weshler." she tried.

"Wesh?"

"No, weschler." Y/N struggled to pronounce the S.

"Wesler?"

"Yeah, Wesssler."

Sam started typing, searching anywhere, anything.

"So, uh. Are you hungry?" Dean asked, since he was ready to eat. Y/N nodded, her expression lightening up a little bit. "Okay, how bout we go get some waffles. Or are pancakes more your thing?"

"Waffles."

"With syrup and whipped cream?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, let's go!" Dean looked over at Sam. "Want anything?"

"Uh, sure I'll take a-"

"Didn't think so." Dean cut off. Y/N giggled, as she followed Dean in her pink polka dotted pajamas.

Y/N spent the morning with Dean, getting breakfast at the diner a few blocks away from the motel they were staying at. He wasn't used to making conversation with a kid, let alone a kid Y/N's age.

"Hey, how old are you anyway, babygirl?" Dean asked on the walk back to the motel room.

"I'm five." Y/N held up her hand, showing 5 fingers.

Dean smiled and shook his head a little. "Well, you're the bravest little five year old I've ever met."

"I am?" Y/N said excitedly.

"Absolutely."

Dean unlocked the door and held it open as Y/N walked in, she held a coffee cup in her hands as she walked over to the table where Sam hadn't moved from.

"We got this for you." She smiled as she slid the cup over towards him.

"Wow, thank you very much, princess!" Sam exclaimed, looking up from his laptop.

Y/N spent the rest of the day in front of the TV, watching anything on the available channels that was appropriate. Y/N was a little bored after a while, but in a way, she understood that the brothers didn't have any kids toys laying around. Sam checked the time, it was nine pm.

"Okay, I think we should get to bed." Sam announced as he clicked off the television. Y/N yawned and scooted over to the bed she slept in the night before. Sam lifted the covers as she climbed in and laid down. "Let me know if you need anything, we'll both be over here." Sam tucked the girl in as best he could.

"Okay, thank you Sam." Y/N gave her best smile, getting comfy and rolling over to her side.

A few hours later, Sam let out a huff and pushed his laptop away. He looked over at Y/N who was for sure asleep by this time.

"Dean, I couldn't find anyone that's around in her immediate family. Her parents were both only children, both sets of grandparents have passed. No cousins or anyone I could find, it's weird... It doesn't seem like they had a lot of family left."

Dean stared off into space for a moment. "I guess, social services? Isn't that kind of the next step."

"Dean, you know how difficult the system can be. I know she isn't ours or anything, but I just don't know if I could put her through that." Sam leaned over into his hands.

"What do we do?"

The two men tried to be as quiet as possible, wanting to let the girl sleep in as long as she wanted to. When Y/N woke up, she looked over and sat up with a smile when she saw a specific basket on the table.

"Is that for me?" She asked with a hopeful tone. Looking over the basket of goodies. Sam suggested they get her some fun things to have. So, Dean went out once the nearest store opened and got an assortment of coloring books, toys, stuffed animals, games, and books for Y/N.

"I- uh, we didn't know what you liked, so we got a bunch of different stuff." Dean smiled. Y/N looked over all of the various fun toys, reaching for a stuffed elephant. She held it in her arms and snuggled it's softness.

"Why did you guys get so much stuff. This is crazy, I never had a present like this."

"Because a princess deserves to have some fun." Sam smiled.

"And... there's something we want to talk to you about." Dean followed.

It was not their first choice, but had ultimately decided to keep Y/N with them until further notice. Though it was a big decision that they had talked over, pretty much the whole night, there wasn't anything they could do at the moment.

The boys sat down and tried their best to explain it to the little girl. If she didn't know of anyone to stay with, and if they couldn't find any other arrangements....

"How would you feel about staying with us for a little while?" Sam asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Y/N stood there in thought, not saying anything.

"If you don't like that idea, we totally understand, and we can find something else that will work."

"No, um. I'm good with that." Y/N gave a little smile, squeezing her elephant.

#sister!winchester #sister winchester #winsister #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #spnfandom #sister!reader #spn #spn fan fic

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and-claudia · 1 year ago

Text

Against All Odds pt. 7 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

SHE LIVES!!!!!! Hey guys sorry it's been awhile!! This semester is crazy!! I got a little time off and was finally able to work on some writing!! I am still getting back into the swing of it so I am so sorry if this isn't my best quality!!

Warnings: more angst, allusions to SA

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

word count: 4000+ (shorter again, I know but I wanted to do the whole ambush part and the suburbs part together in one part, so the next one should be longer, but it may not be out until closer to Christmas once the semester is over)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

gif not mine

After we had all gotten a chance to clean up, Joel decided to go out and see if he could get the truck started. Meanwhile, I went around the kitchen seeing if there was anything salvageable to bring with us.

“Truck’s ready.” Joel said as he walked in.

“Good, I found a few cans of food in here. I figured I could check the garage too before we left.”

He nodded before turning around and walking back out. I turned to Ellie who was throwing her bag back on.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Yup. I’ll help you look in the garage when we get out there.” She said as we headed for the door.

“Thanks.”

We got to the truck and tossed our bags in before taking one last good look around. There wasn’t much out here in all honesty. I was ready to just get in the truck and leave when Ellie called me over.

“Hey, I found some more cans over here!” She hollered causing Joel and I to walk over.

“What‘cha got?” I asked.

“I found a few things, they were all under that crusty shirt.” She said pointing to it.

When I saw it, my eyes almost bulged out of my head. I knew where that shirt came from, and it belonged to the man standing beside me who had a similar expression on his face.

“Ellie, go wash your hands, we’ll get the cans.” I said and she gave me a weird look, “Just go do it.”

She shrugged and did as I said.

“Huh, never really expected to see that again.” Joel said tossing the shirt aside.

“Yeah, me neither… Do you think Bill or Frank ever found it?” I asked.

He only shrugged and started grabbing the cans to put in the truck. So much for a conversation.

When Ellie got back, we loaded up the truck with everything we were taking. Joel got into the driver's seat, and Ellie got in behind him. Out of instinct, I went to get in the backseat with Ellie. I had never actually ridden up front ever. I was still in a car seat when the outbreak happened and then anytime I rode in a vehicle after that, I was always in the back.

“What are you doing?” Joel asked.

“What?”

“Get up front.” He nodded to the vacant seat beside him.

I shut the door and went to get in the front seat, “This is weird.” I commented but to tell the truth, I was kinda excited to ride up front.

“Both of you buckle up.” Joel said, as he started the truck.

“What?” Ellie asked.

“This thing.” I showed her mine that I had pulled down.

She glanced around herself before Joel turned around in his seat and reached back to help her out. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, it was really such a dad thing to do, but I tried not to dwell on it too much knowing it would only make me sad. Subconsciously, my hand went to my stomach.

“Is it safe?” I asked as he pulled out of the garage.

“Hm?”

“Riding in the front when you’re pregnant, is it safe?” I clarified.

“You think I would tell you to if it wasn't?” He asked as we began to drive away from the house.

I shrugged and reached up to open the glove compartment. I found a cassette tape in it. It was too faded to read what was written on the side. I shrugged and opened it anyway.

“What are you doing?” Joel asked.

“Road tunes.” I said as I put it in.

An old song started playing that I vaguely recognized. I reached up to change it to see what else was on it, but Joel stopped me.

“No leave it, leave it. This is good. This is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who that is?”

“I don’t.” Ellie said from the backseat.

“I’ve heard of her… I think my mom used to listen to her… This song sounds a little familiar.” I said.

We pulled up to the gate and Joel stopped. He took a deep breath before pressing the button to open it. The sun was low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow across Joel’s face. I rested my head against the window as we drove. As the song got to the chorus I heard the familiar words “And I think I'm gonna love you, For a long long time” I couldn’t help but think of Joel… and as I sat there, eyes closed, I allowed myself to pretend, even for just a moment that everything was normal… that Joel and I were together, the outbreak never happened, maybe even we were the same age, going home to tell my parents about the baby, his daughter-no our daughters- sitting in the backseat. It felt so right. It felt like a dream… too good to be true.

Progress was slow. Once every hour or so, we were having to stop to siphon gas out of abandoned cars. During one of our stops, I was looking at the map trying to help refine our route. I traced my pinky over a route that would take us longer but would ultimately be safer.

“Why don’t we follow that one? 84?” Ellie asked pointing to a different interstate.

“Because 84 goes to Hartford, the QZ there is in shambles. We’re trying to avoid it, but not take forever… so I’m thinking… stay here on 90, avoid Connecticut all altogether… only issue is, it does take us further North… so it’s going to take us even longer…” I said, scanning the map for any alternatives.

“Well, we’re already taking forever, stopping every hour.” Ellie said with a sigh as she sat back in her seat.

“I know, but we have to.” I said with a similar sigh just as Joel opened the door.

“We have to what?” He asked, starting the truck again.

“Stop every hour for gas.” I said.

“But why? I thought cars were supposed to be useful. This just seems like a major inconvenience.”

“They were. 20 years ago. But gas breaks down over time… the stuff I’m siphoning out of these cars is practically just water now. So to keep the truck going, gotta make stops. But it beats walking there.”

“I think found us a route to take. It takes us North a bit, but it’ll avoid Conetticet completely. I think it’s worth it if it means we avoid Hartford.”

“Let me see.”

I showed him and to my surprise, he agreed it was the best option.

“We got maybe two hours left of daylight… I wanna get past Springfield at least.” He said.

I nodded and soon we were on the road again. We had already cycled through the tape and were now riding in an awkward silence. I glanced behind me at Ellie to see what she was doing and found her reading a book.

“Whatcha reading?”

She held it up to show me, “‘No Pun Intended: Volume Too’ by Will Livingston,” She said with a smile, “Get it? Volume Too.”

“Jesus.” I heard Joel sigh under his breath, hearing our conversation.

“Is there some good stuff in there?” I asked.

She nodded and then scanned the page she was on to find a worthy joke, “Oh here, it doesn’t matter how hard you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary.”

I smiled, it was cheesy but good.

“What did the mermaid wear to her math class?... An Alge Bra!” She said, laughing a little at it.

I laughed some too and glanced over at Joel, he was shaking his head slightly, clearly not amused by the jokes.

“I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone-” Ellie began another joke.

I knew this one and decided to push Joel’s buttons, just a little.

“But then it dawned on me!” I said with Ellie.

“No way, you know that one?” Ellie said.

Joel looked over at me still not amused, “You can ride in the back.” He said.

“You’re such a stick in the mud, you know that?” I said to him.

Thankfully Ellie got the hint that that was enough jokes for now and closed her book in favor of looking at what we were driving past. Both sides of the roads were covered in cars that had been forced off the road.

“Must have been some truck.” Ellie said.

“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them, and clear the roads for their tanks and such.” Joel said, not even glancing away from the road in font of him.

“I wanna see a tank!” Ellie said.

“I don’t.” I commented, talks usually didn’t mean good news.

“You will. Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemies. Just scattered around now.” He said, clearly bringing a heavier tone to our conversation than Ellie was wanting because she quickly changed the topic.

“Oh yeah, I found this…” She said leaning forward and holding a new cassette tape in her hand, “This make you feel all nostalgic?”

Joel glanced at it, “This is actually before my time.”

“Great, even older, old music.” She said, sitting back.

“It’s a winner though.” Joel said, putting it in.

“Found something else too.” Ellie said, pulling out a magazine from under the seat.

She opened it and scanned the pages, “It’s light on the reading but it has some interesting pictures.”

At that Joel and I both looked back to see what she had found.

“No, no, no. Put that back.” Joel said immediately, meanwhile, I was just trying not to laugh.

During the whole exchange, I was just trying not to laugh, but then I was sent over the edge when I heard Ellie say, “Why are all these pages stuck together?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I started laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe. What made it even better was Joel trying to come up with a response. He stumbled over his words and couldn’t get an answer to form.

“I’m just fuckin’ with ya.” Ellie said, before scooting over to the window and tossing it out.

I was in tears by this point.

“Dude, chill, you’re gonna piss yourself.” Ellie said.

“I’m trying not to.” I said, whipping the tears from my eyes.

After that, the drive died down. Every so often we would comment on what we saw. We passed some wild buffalo that had roamed more and more since the outbreak. We passed an old amusement park. You could see the old rollercoasters still standing tall. I had always wanted to ride one, but never got to. Joel told us about a few that he had been on when he and his brother went to Six Flags Fiesta Texas, a couple of my brothers had been there before too, I was just too little to go with them. Later on we saw the tanks that Joel promised. And just like the hundreds of cars we had passed, they were left abandoned on the side of the road.

I was grateful when Joel announced that we had done enough driving for the day and pulled the truck off the main road, across a field, and into the tree line to keep us hidden. I got out and stretched. Sitting all day had made my knees stiff.

“I’m gonna make us some food.” Joel said and I nodded.

“I’m going to go find a place to pee.” I said, walking the other way.

When I got back I could smell the food and it made my stomach rumble.

“What is that?” I asked, walking over to stand by Joel.

“20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli.” He said.

“Could’ve left out the ‘20-year-old’ part.” I said, taking a seat.

“You can raid what we have, it’s slim pickings though, but I guess if the smell or something is already making you feel sick.” He said.

“Oh, no, I feel fine. It smells really good actually.” I said, happy that I didn’t feel like I was going to puke anytime soon.

“Good. Here.” He said scooping some out and handing it to me, “Ellie, come eat.” He called the young girl over.

Ellie took her portion and sat down with it then immediately dug in.

“Slow down some.” Joel said.

“This is good stuff, what is it?” She asked between bites.

“Chef Boyardee.”

“That guy was good.” She said, shoving another bite into her mouth.

“I actually agree.”

“Me too.” I nodded, taking a bite of my own.

“So… how long we staying out here?” Ellie asked.

“I figured I sleep tonight and drive tomorrow, all day, all night, get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.” Joel said.

It wasn’t a bad plan, I just didn’t know if he’d be able to stay up that long without dosing off. Ellie must have thought the same thing.

“Why doesn’t Yn take a shift driving? I feel like that’s a lot of driving for just one person.” She said.

“I don’t know how to… well, I know the logistics of it, but I’ve never actually done it before. And don’t think right now is the time for driving lessons.” I said.

She nodded before firing off another question, “Can we start a fire? I’m freezing.”

I already knew the answer but Joel beat me to it, “Now why am I going to tell you no?”

“Because infected will see the smoke.” She said with a sigh.

“Fungus ain’t that smart.” He shot back.

“We’re too remote now for infected.” I chimed in.

“Okay, so people?” She asked and we nodded, “So what are they gonna do? Rob us?”

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that.” Joel said.

Ellie nodded, understanding what he meant. A young girl, a woman in her 20s, and an older man wouldn’t be much of a fight against raiders, and if a big enough group got to us and overwhelmed us, they could easily have their way with any of us. It was a scary thought, but it was just the reality of what could happen.

Conversation died off after that and we finished our meal in quietness. Then after that, we got ready to settle down for the night. We each grabbed a sleeping bag and brought them over to the lantern to set up.

“Actually smells pretty good.” Ellie commented as she laid her’s out.

“That would be Frank’s then.” Joel said.

“That would mean you have Bill’s.” I said, popping the tag off of mine. I had found an unused one in one of Bill’s supply stashes.

I hesitated as I thought about where to lay mine out. Yes Joel and I had a few moments today where we seemed like our old selves before we knew about the baby, but I wasn’t 100% sure where we were overall and I didn’t want to test my luck. So, I opted not to lay mine right next to his. We all got settled in and Ellie turned off the light.

I was just about asleep when I heard Ellie call out for Joel.

“Joel? Can I ask you a serious question?” She said.

I was worried that something was wrong.

“Yeah.”

She took a deep breath and sighed, “Why did the scarecrow get an award?” She asked.

There was a few beats of silence before Joel spoke up, “Because he was outstanding in his field.”

I could see him fighting a smile.

“You dick!” Ellie said with a laugh, “Did you read this?”

“No.” Joel said, suppressing a laugh as he rolled over to but his back to us, “Now go to sleep. Both of you.”

It was quiet for a few moments before Ellie spoke once again, “Those people you said… there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s going to find us.”

“No one’s gonna find us.” Joel confirmed.

“Okay.” Ellie said quietly.

I fell sleep soon after that but was woken up only a few hours later. It was still dark out. I rolled over and saw Joel’s sleeping bag was empty. I glanced around and found him standing watch. I quietly got up and walked over to him, making sure not to startle him.

“You should be asleep.” He said.

“So should you.” I commented.

He was silent for a moment, “I couldn’t… just paranoid, I guess.”

I nodded. In the short time she’s been with us, I could tell the effect it had on Joel. I knew about Sarah. And I could tell that having Ellie around was bringing that all back to him.

“Hey, we’ll be okay. Alright?” I said gently as I hugged onto his arm and laid my head on his shoulder.

I could feel the way he relaxed some and let a sigh. After a few minutes of standing there with him a yawn escaped my lips.

“You should go back to bed. I’m gonna stay up. Just in case. We’ll stop again tomorrow night and just get to Wyoming the next day.” He said.

“Okay.” I let go of his arm only for him to catch me by the wrist gently.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked.

I nodded, “I love you too, Joel.” I said quietly.

And I meant it. Despite the shit show we’ve been through the past few days, I did still love him. I knew we would figure this all out eventually. It would take time, but we’d get there, together. I went back to my sleeping bag and slid back into it. When I woke back up the next morning, Joel was already heating up coffee on the camping stove. Ellie was just waking up as well. About 30 minutes later, we were loaded back up and on the road again.

Joel had poured the coffee into thermos to drink on the road. In the past, I would’ve happily shared it with him. But now the smell was revolting almost. Ellie seemed to agree.

“Is that seriously what the Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” She asked, clearly disgusted.

“Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah, this what they sold.” Joel said.

“Smells like burnt shit.” Ellie said.

“Yeah, it’s gross.”

“You love coffee.” Joel said.

I shook my head, “Not anymore.”

“Alright, eyes on the map, where am I heading?”

“Keep headin' south until we hit 78, that will get us to 76, then from there we’ll get to 70 west which we will stay on for pretty much ever.” I said.

Joel nodded.

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie asked.

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody.” Joel said.

I scanned the map to find it and once I did I held it up to show her.

“Wow that is deep in there… And what if he’s not there?” She asked.

“Then odds are he’ll be near a settlement, probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ‘em in Wyoming.”

She nodded and I thought, more so hoped, that would be the end of her questions. I knew this was a touchy subject for Joel and I really didn’t want to upset him.

“What’s his name?” She asked.

“Who’s name?”

“Your brother.”

“Tommy.” He said.

“Younger or older?” She fired off another question at him.

“Younger.” “Why isn’t he with you?”

I watched Joel for his reaction to this question.

“Long story.”

“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got.” She asked.

I could tell Joel was considering his options of telling her or not. To my surprise, he began telling her about how he was a “joiner.” He told her that he enlisted in the Army right out of high school. Then after the outbreak, Tommy was the one who convinced Joel to join a group that was heading to Boston. He told her how Tommy met Marleen and how she convinced him to join the Fireflies. But last he heard he had quit that too and he was alone and that is why Joel was heading out there, to go get him.

“If you don’t think there’s hope in the world, why bother going on?” Ellie asked.

Joel glanced over at me for the briefest second before answering, “You haven’t seen the world, so you don’t know.”

“You keep going for family. That’s about it.” He added.

“I’m not family.” Ellie pointed out.

“No, you’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.”

I could tell the conversion was making him shut down.

“What if you don’t find him?” Ellie asked.

It was a legitimate question. One that I was too scared to ever dare ask.

“I will.” Joel said firmly.

“How do you know?”

“I’m persistent.”

That shut the conversation right down.

“Hey Ellie, we got up pretty early. You can take a nap back there if you want.” I said.

“I’m not even tired.” She said.

But sure enough after about 30 min of silence, she was out.

“Are you okay?” I asked Joel.

He sighed, “Yeah.”

“You sure?”

He only nodded.

I decided to drop it, he had already shut down, and there was no point in making it worse. Instead, I opted to also get some rest. Later that day, Joel had changed his mind and continued driving through the night.

I could never fall asleep very long. I ended up dosing off and on throughout the night. When I woke up again, the sun had risen and we were approaching a city. Ahead of us was an overpass tunnel and from the looks of it, it was blocked.

“Where are we?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

“Kansas City. Wait here.” Joel said, turning off the truck and going to get out but I stopped him.

“Joel, we are way too close to the city for you to go out there alone.” I said, worried about Infected or even other people attacking him.

“I’ll be fine.” He said and got out, then he grabbed the rifle from the back seat.

I watched anxiously as he got closer to the tunnel. There could be anything in there. After a couple minutes of looking, he began making his way back. I didn’t take my eyes off him until he was back in the car.

“Now what?” I asked.

He grabbed the map to look for an alternate route.

“Screw it.” He said tossing me the map.

“What’s the plan?” I asked.

“We go back a ways, get off the highway, come back down, take the next ramp. Puts us back on the road, 5 minutes tops.” He said.

I sat quietly as he drove but I began to grow wary as we got deeper and deeper into the city.

“Where the fuck is the highway?” He asked.

“I’m trying Joel!” I said looking between the map and the signs we were passing. They were all so faded it was nearly impossible to figure out where we were and him yelling at me wasn’t helping.

“Quit looking at the state map!”

“Joel, I am trying my fucking best! Quit yelling at me, I’m already freaked out as it is being this far into the goddamn city!” I shot back.

“Well we wouldn’t be if you could just give me directions!”

“I thought you had a fucking plan? 5 minutes tops, remember?!” I shot back.

Suddenly Ellie yelled from the back seat, “Stop!”

We did and turned to see what was wrong.

“Is that the QZ? Where the fuck is FEDRA?” She asked.

Sure enough to our left was the entrance to the QZ with its gates wide open.

“We need to get the fuck out of here.” I said.

“Hey! Please help!” We all turned to the front to see an injured man stumbling towards us.

“Both of you seatbelts, now.” Joel said, putting his own on too.

“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asked, clearly confused.

“No.” Joel and I both said.

Joel turned the car to try and get away from him. I was scanning the area for anyone else, knowing it was a trap.

“Joel!” Was all I was able to yell as I saw a guy throw a cinder block from a fire escape.

It hit our windshield and shattered it. Joel kept driving. We ran over something and I could feel the car drop as it popped the tires. Then another man stepped out in front of us and began shooting. Joel swerved the truck to the left. I only caught a glimpse of the glass window before we went straight through it. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact I knew was coming.

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