#but really i think i'm done with the 1d fandom

[nooradeservedbetter]

.

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[sugarcult]

Liam, I wrote up this big, long letter for you, and it seemed like nothing came out right or like it just didn't sound how I wanted it to. So I guess I'll just do my best.

Years ago, I remember other fans being obsessed with Diana when it came out, and how many fans said that One Direction had saved them. I didn't think I could relate because I wasn't actively suicidal or self-harming at that time, and I guess I thought all that was a little overdramatic. But in the last two weeks, I've been thinking it over, and I really think 1D not only changed my life but saved it too.

When I first started being a fan of the band, it was 2012, and I had no idea how hard my life was about to become. I guess you probably felt like that too, in retrospect - when you auditioned for X Factor, and you were put in a band by surprise, and you strapped in for this wild ride you couldn't have anticipated, with the highs and the lows that came with it. I remember feeling so much joy listening to 1D, watching silly videos, meeting new people, writing and reading fanfiction. I invested so much of my time into 1D during the active years of the band, at first because I wanted to and it was fun, but now that I'm older and I have some perspective, it wasn't really that simple.

I had a really hard home life in those years. I was in high school, and I didn't have supportive parents. I remember at many points feeling like nobody understood me - not my friends, not my family, or anyone at school - except, in some weird way, One Direction and their fans did. You guys created an atmosphere that was so uplifting and supportive, that prioritized things like mental health and social justice, having a laugh and still being kind. These are all things I really needed in my life.

I didn't make a friend in the fandom until about 2016, so for the entire duration of 1D being active, I was doing my solo thing. I had other people I kind of interacted with during that time, but not any real friends I stayed in touch with. My entire high school career was me being a 1D fan basically alone, and I think I forget that sometimes because I have a lot of 1D friends now. But at my most vulnerable, and in my most formative years, the only thing I really had was One Direction. And I have been thinking a lot about how much of that fun, welcoming, supportive environment was exactly those things because of you. I felt so much support just being in the proximity of the fanbase and the band. I had something to live for, even when my home life was terrible, when my friends abandoned me, when my grades started slipping. I didn't have much sense of identity or self-awareness at all at the time, so it didn't occur to me until recently how much harder and more emotionally volatile those years would have been for me without One Direction. And when I finally did start processing all the hard stuff I had gone through a couple years later, my friends in the fandom were there for me in a way most people couldn't be. I'll be forever grateful to them, and to all of you.

I always felt like you saw me, and like you got me, and like we had the same priorities and values about how people should be treated. I guess that's because you had been bullied yourself and knew what it felt like to be treated unkindly. It really hurts me to know just how much unkindness you continued to receive all the way to the end. I think people saw your joy at the success of your loved ones and your continued pride in the band as somehow disingenuous, but I know it wasn't, because I see so much of myself in you.

I hope you know how many people truly loved and admired you, and how much good you put out into the world, and that the bad that each of us has done does not negate that. Without you, I wouldn't have lived this long. It sounds dramatic, but now that I'm on the other side of the hardest years of my life, I know I couldn't have made it through without you and your influence. You have been and still are a light to people on every continent, people you've never met, who have never been in the same stadium as you. Actually, in ways you don't know and in ways that can't be quantified, you have changed the lives of so many people indirectly. You changed my brother's life, for one, by helping me become someone who could be resilient and strong for him when he needed it. You changed my dad's life by making me someone who can teach others compassion. You've made my son's life possible, by helping me be strong enough to be here so he could even be born. And for every fan you've had like me, you've touched the lives of countless other people indirectly in the same way. The good you have done may be hard to see sometimes through all the noise, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. I hope you knew that in those final days, and I hope you know it now, wherever you are.

I've found it really striking, how many of the people who knew you feel the need to say they hope you're finally at peace now. I wish that didn't say so much about how hard things were for you the last several years. I wish I could have been more vocal and let you know how much change you had made in my life and how much I love you. I wish I could have been more supportive than just a person you might see through pixels on a screen, although I know you had many loved ones who supported you in life too. The grief we are all feeling for you feels some days like it has stopped the world.

It's been a while since I've truly lost someone, and I think the last few years have made the impact of loss hit a lot harder than it used to. I understand now why people turn to religion in times like these. It's for hope.

A lot of other people have said it, but I hope in my heart that it's true:

You will find me

In places that we've never been

For reasons we don't understand

Walking in the wind

You shined so bright, and you still do. But I would have loved you even if you hadn't.

[skepticalarrie]

hi! last year i'm not really updating on the fandom and i can't seem to find this on your blog. what's with the louis and harry and italy? they seem to be spotted there a lot and i think harry also have a house there or smth? is there something special about italy? sorry if you already explained it before.

Hi, dear. Yeah, it seems like they love Italy and don't like to waste any opportunities to be there together. I think this may have started in May 2019 when Harry went to Rome for Gucci and on the same day Louis showed up with Eleanor in Portofino for a pap walk and literally no other reason to be there.

It was so out of nowhere and such a big coincidence that even tabloids picked up and made crazy rumours about a 1D reunion. Pretty sure there is also a receipt from this time.

Harry went to Italy a lot of times, even during the pandemic, he they definitely has a house there. In June 2021 , when Harry finished shooting My Policeman in Venice (IIRC their last scenes were there) he stayed a few more weeks, precisely when Louis was MIA, which lead people to believe Louis also joined him and they spent a little time there together. Louis, of course, showed up with a beautiful tan and an Italian hat a few days later:

In September 2022, Harry went to Venice for the premiere of DWD the very same week Louis was there doing promo for the release of FITF. They were both incredibly busy at the time, so desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. All the blue and green is just a plus. The following week they were both also in NYC (twice in the same week, yes), they had shows on the same night. So they obviously planned things around this and went from Italy to NYC together. The timeline is great

And lastly, Harry will be done with LOT 2023 in July, in Italy. Louis will bring AFHF to Italy just a few weeks after that and he's not back on tour within a couple more weeks. Since they're both on tour they're probably going to spend a while away from each other and already planned their little annual Italian vacation. So I will not be surprised if one of them is completely MIA during this time while the other is in Italy.

[werepuppy-steve]

https://www.tumblr.com/puppy-steve/759647379768082432/ive-only-seen-like-2-photos-of-jq-with-doja-cat

You’re not insane. I thought the same thing, but people get real mad any time anybody even suggests it’s a stunt so I’ve just been in my corner Lolol.

i think it comes down to people not really understanding how celebrity industries (movie and music, alike) work. i'm not saying i'm an expert but i was in the 1d fandom for a good chunk of time and was friends with a few people who had jobs where they interacted with either the celebrities themselves or someone from their teams.

i'm not the best at explaining things, so bear with me. jq is an established actor in the uk for various roles, but stranger things gave him his us break. he's now being offered bigger roles in bigger us franchises, and that means the general public needs to get to know him. meaning, he needs to be seen with high profile celebrities and get a few articles in people's or whatever shit tmz wants to spitball in their writer's room.

yeah sure, he's been seen with that one dude from the bear, but people aren't going to really look at that. they're gonna glance at the photos and then flip to the next page.

however. PR teams know that we as a society are, unfortunately, obsessed with celebrity relationships. doja cat is a very high profile celeb and the general public's eyes have been on her for a while for her controversies. most of the time, PR stunts are mutually beneficial, and sometimes they're not. this one seems to be the former. jq needs to become a household name and doja cat needs her image cleaned up for whatever reason.

this possibly could have been in the works since 2022 when she asked NS for jqs' number, who knows. but give both of their teams time and a few pap walks, and you have what is a very well-crafted and believable love story.

"jq doesn't need the hype" you're right! he doesn't! but he's still a rising (foreign) celebrity and he has to pay his dues. they're literally trained for these things. you might not think A list celebs have to do PR stunts, but they do. even if doesn't look like it. i'm sure joe keery has also done a few runs in the past couple years.

also can we talk about that pic with his hand very strategically placed on her ass i cackled so loud he's trying so hard

[thewolvesof1998]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by the talented @jesuisici33 @hoodie-buck @wikiangela @spotsandsocks

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

9

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38,361

3. What fandoms do you write for?

9-1-1/Buddie

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I want you to be selfish with me (4.6k M)

Tapping Morse Code into your heart (2.8k E)

You bring me comfort (4.2k T)

You with the dark curls, you with the watercolour eyes (1.6k M)

I Can See You (3k T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah, I love getting comments, it literally makes my day so I always take the time to respond. Though I sometimes struggle with what to say so I might respond slowly but that's because I overthink everything 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, it's either I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown (826 T) in which Eddie's in Jail and he almost calls Buck (Coda for episode s03e05 Rage) OR Under the Guise of Violence (3k E) Eddie can't touch Buck unless it's to hurt him, after a sparring match Buck confronts him and it leads them back to Eddie's bedroom- I had a lot of people comment about the angsty ending 😂

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm kinda a sucker for happy endings, this might be cheating as it's not finished yet but when it is Alright, Cowboy, Go Get 'Em (17k E) is probably going to have the happiest ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had someone comment some criticism which I didn't think much of at the time because what they pointed out was something I was unhappy with myself and it did actually help me fix it but I realise now after talking to my friend who got me in to fic writing that that wasn't cool since I hadn't actually asked for any feedback.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yeah, mostly just smut with a few kinks thrown in, playing around with light sub/dom stuff. I definitely want to write some more hardcore stuff in the future.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, I'm not opposed, since I only write Buddie atm it probably would be a Lonestar cross over, maybe Tarlos? But I have so many WIPs that it will be very far in the future.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, that would be pretty dope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I would love to try one day.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Buddie's pretty much up there, but I do love Steddie and Anidala

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

God, none of them I hope but the one that's the furthest from being done is probably either my MMA Rivals AU or Mafia Husbands AU.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ahhhh maybe dialogue and plot.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Uh, finishing? It's probably the biggest one atm, I just keep losing the mojo and struggling to stay focused until the end.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love to but I have to make sure I'm using it right and appropriately.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Sharkboy and Lava Girl when I was 8. 1D was the first I ever posted tho.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably one I haven't finished or posted yet called You make bad days infinitely better I'm really trying to make the writing pretty, you know? And I love it and I will finish it at some point.

Tagging: @wildlife4life​ @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @try-set-me-on-fire @bekkachaos @buddierights @forthewolves @911-on-abc @hippolotamus @shitouttabuck @911onabc @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediaztho @your-catfish-friend @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @mangacat201 @theotherbuckley  @eowon @rainbow-nerdss @nmcggg @pirrusstuff @evanbegins @giddyupbuck @sammy-souffle

[saynomorefic]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

thank you @darktwistedgenderplural <3 so sweet of you to tag me hehe

How many works do you have on Ao3?

15 - 5 YR and 10 one direction that I wrote like 10 years ago lol

What's your total Ao3 word count?

81,454 :0

What fandoms do you write for?

Young Royals, that's it <3

Top five fics by kudos: (I'm doing my top 3 young royals fics because I reaally don't want people re-reading my old 1d fic lol)(It is in the [public] archives)

Falling for you

All the rules to this game I bend

You Kill Me & Like birds do, I need to fly south (tied)

Do you respond to comments?

YES always!! I tend to have pretty long responses bc I love learning what people like and having a conversation <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'd say I won't treat you like you're oh so typical. However, this is a WIP and so I'm just going off of where I left things.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm most of them have happy endings! My fluffiest fic is Like birds do, beginning to end.

Do you get hate on fics?

No

Do you write smut?

Yes I do! Not all my fics have smut though. I will say I prefer writing my characters talk about sex, and exploring their sexuality as a major theme, to writing actual smut, not because I don't enjoy it but because it's hard!! I sometimes struggle to be creative.

Craziest crossover:

None

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No although I'd love to

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've gifted works, but never co-written anything. That would be so fun!

All time favourite ship?

Wilmon ofc <3

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

That one's hard. I hesitate to say because sometimes I get inspired by old ideas. I had one that is Wille as a new cat dad with a rascal of a cat who keeps breaking things, and Simon is called as a cat whisperer. The catch: Simon's methods are unique and involve him spending three days 24/7 at Wille's apartment. I just am not capable of this level of fluff lol

What are your writing strengths?

I think I develop really elaborate ideas and worlds in my head, and I do try to make them as convincing as possible. I only write AUs, so I think this is a big part of that. I like writing descriptively bc of my liberal arts degree, and I also try to work in as many life experiences and make things feel relevant to the world around us, aka writing from a critical perspective even if it's fictional. I hope I'm achieving this even slightly!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh god lol. I get writing exhaustion pretty hard because of idea overload, and I look back at the page and feel like I've lost my voice or style completely. I think I struggle with varying the sentence structure so things feel natural. I'm also working on incorporating metaphors and symbolism effectively - I've been writing papers for so long in college that metaphors don't come as easily anymore.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think it's great, although sometimes I won't do it because google translate is unreliable and I don't have a beta reader currently. However, I like throwing in phrases here and there we see on YR a lot :-)

First fandom you wrote in?

One direction

Favourite fic you've written?

It would have to be You Kill Me, although it's not done. I put so much into their world and have so much more to show!! I'm proud of directly tackling a lot of the power dynamics and their intimate effects (on Simon especially) that I feel weren't addressed fully in the show, albeit in another universe. (Also yay for Felice and Simon's friendship and talking about racial issues together <3) The recent love for it has been so amazing and inspired me to keep going.

I tag: @nothingadoaboutnothing @youngroyalsforeversposts <3

thank you so much! <3

[alarrytale]

Hello Marte, It's really nice to see a lawyer in the Larry fandom. I am not a lawyer myself but am very interested in the legal aspect of these things (contracts, record deals etc). So far, is there any masterpost about the kind of contracts that they might have had to sign? 1. I know some vague things about XFactor contracts (from Rebecca, Katie etc) and some clauses in the Australia version but everything seems very hush hush. Katie did a reading of her XFactor contracts a while back. Did you get around to watching it? 2. What are the kind of contracts that these guys usually have to sign- how are the deliverables measured? Is it in terms of years usually, or 360 deals like you mentioned earlier? 3. Do you think Louis might have had to sign a different contract before bbg? How long would that have been? This is the most murky part for me, because when it started out it didn't really feel like they would go through with the pregnancy, let alone make it drag out this far. 4. There was also a court case ft Briana and her sugar daddy. Did you keep up with that? I haven't seen any talk of it outside the usual larrie blogs, so it might be nice to have a legal perspective. I think LTHQ might have paid Michael Straus off to shut up. The magazine that reported it got shut down. All this is very suspicious.

Hi, anon!

I'm not a lawyer and i don't work within the legal field at all! I have been involved in policy-making and contributed to writing laws within my field of work, but that's not applicable to this at all. And i actually really don't care much for contract talk lol. Legal stuff like this isn't my favourite. I mostly just want to understand why we see what we see happening.

I've been in this fandom too long and picked up on stuff larrie lawyers have explained along the way. There used to be so much more contract talk around these parts than there is now. I have learned it's possible to closet them like this, and it's perfectly legal. Beyond that i don't care to know the specifics, and we don’t know the specifics of the wording in contracts, so we all just hope it ends sooner rather than later.

There used to be some masterposts, but i don't know if they exist anymore. Try google for them.

1. I heard some of Katie's spaces where she did live readings of her contracts, but she very irritatingly is focusing on the wrong things in the contracts and jumps from one contract to the other. And it was nothing i didn't already know. I wish she'd just post the whole thing.

2. I think the 1D deals were reported to be 360 contracts, but i don't know about their solo contracts. Liam's was supposedly a 360 one.

3. I'm not sure how that all happened, if he thought he signed a normal stunt deal with B, and then they took it further without him having a say and he just had to comply.

4. I followed it for a bit, and i agree with you that someone must have done something. He was probably paid for his silence and told to back off.

[crimsonicarus]

Fic Writer Interview 🌸

@13834 thank you for the tag!

How many works do you have on ao3?

20!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A certain something in the middle 

Lando's George

Wrong number

The holding of hands and the breaking of glass

What do you want?

Do you respond to comments? Why/ why not?

I do! All the comments I received are very kind and I really appreciate that someone took the time to leave a comment, so I always write back 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I would say Put your mind to rest, probably. I mean, very dubious Toto/George endgame with George on a really fragile mental state

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Maybe the holding of hands and the breaking of glass

Do you write crossovers?

I don't 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but it's not something I enjoy. Mostly cause I feel like I suck at it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translated on of my on fics to Spanish!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried it once, sadly that fic won't be completed

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I would say galex or Britcedes but I enjoy all George ships tbh

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The lestappen piano instructor au, that thing will never see the light for sure

What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogue and maybe the rhythm of the sentences, the bestie says my writing sounds like music, I've started to see it and like that about my writing style 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Short words or pet names work for me in other languages, I've read some where full conversations happened in another language, I respect the writing choices but I'm not a fan

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I wrote yn 1D fics, but the first slash fic I wrote was for inception

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I haven't written the geochalex fic I keep thinking about, I will one day tho 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Once upon a dream for sure, it's the only fic of mine that I don't think I could have done better.

Tagging: @readingbythestreetlights @arsenalgbt @hungriestheidi @duquesademiel

[heaven4lostgirls]

Do you ever feel…. fake? the feeling of non-genuinity…. I'm that right now.... the nagging in the head… that often reminds me that I was never a Liam fan… and I'm doing this as a way to cope with his death and… feel better about myself… to reassure myself that I couldn't have done something…. it was out of my reach and that… it wasn't my fault…. but not really listening to it out of fandom or favouritism….. and that thought is tormenting me so much so that I can't physically bring myself to listen to any of his or One Direction songs anymore…. and I hate it... i don't want to not be able to listen to them..... it's just a weird feeling and I... don't like it.....

yeah, i get you.

i wasn’t really a liam fan either, he wasn’t my fav out of the one direction lads either but it’s still okay to be sad

there’s people out there who only listen to 1D and none of his solo music, that doesn’t make them any less valid for their pain.

i think part of reeling from the fact that he’s actually passed is disassociating, putting yourself on the outside can help.

it’s okay that you weren’t as involved as you used to be. you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone, if your feelings are genuine then you would know.

you wouldn’t be upset and crying if your feelings weren’t genuine ❤️‍🩹

i have bouts of when i can and can’t listen to their music, recently i haven’t been able to. that’s okay, i think it will come with time.

there’s a lot of good memories in their music and i don’t think his death will taint those. give it time, you can always start small by listening to the other boys’ solo music before listening to one direction.

it gets better, it gets easier to handle. the only thing is that you need to give yourself time to grieve and recover.

it won’t come instantly and it’s okay. just because you can’t listen to them now doesn’t mean that you never will

[sheisbeauty-sheisgrace]

on spending my girlhood at 1dff

I don't really know where to start. I haven't been on here in almost ten years, which is absolutely insane to think about, considering what a huge part of my life this community was, at such a formative time. I doubt there are many of you still around, or if you are you probably wouldn't even remember me lol. Hi! You might know me as Grace. When I was a teenager, I wrote a 1d fanfic called Giving Up the Gun. I never had many friends irl but i would come on here every day and feel so accepted and seen. It meant the world to me.

For a while it seemed like 1d was in my rearview mirror, until I heard the news. It shook me in a way I didn't expect. All those old feelings came rushing back- I'm sure a lot of people can relate. For the past few days I've been listening to their music and rereading whatever old fics i can get my hands on (even mine, yikes!). Its honestly like there's a part of my soul with a hole in it now, when I didn't even realize it was still there in the first place. As sad and as strange as I've been feeling, theres a sort of joy in it too. In letting myself remember, feel the things I felt back then. When I reread my fic, even though it was a bit cringe and obviously written by an inexperienced teen, I felt so much affection for the girl I used to be. She loved so unabashedly and was passionate and silly and hopeful and unafraid to be different. It made me feel like I could learn a lot from her. She inspired me to start writing again, which I haven't done in years.

I'm turning 28 soon, and I'm nowhere near where my teenage self thought I would be by now. When I think back on it, being a part of the 1d fandom, and the 1dff community specifically, was probably the happiest time of my life, as sad as it may seem. I know its nostalgia talking, but the years I spent loving One Direction just feel like one long summer now.

I wish 1dff were still around. I wish I kept in touch with the friends I made here. I wish he could've gotten the help he needed. I wish so many things could've been different.

If you ever read my fics, or just interacted with me here, thank you. Seriously. If you want to chat, or just say hi, please do! Most of all, thank you to One Direction. In making us feel all this joy you had to go through so much. May we all be better in the future.

Who knows? Maybe I'll fuck around and post a new gug chapter. What's nine years between directioners.

[ghost-of-you]

Why do people feel the need to produce break up rumors out of thin air after every tour/album 🫥 the expectations of some people in this fandom are wild to me.

What do people think they should do? Even if it weren't for Michael's baby, they released an album last year and played two tours, of course they'll need some time to recharge now. Why would you expect new music or ANOTHER tour now already?

And they have not said or done anything that would indicate that they are thinking about breaking up and still people choose to be paranoid instead of putting some trust in them and just let them rest.

Idk maybe I'm the opposite of those people who are still traumatised by 1D or whatever but my other favourite band just had a 5 year gap between albums, they didn't play any live shows for like 4 of those years (partly bc of the pandemic od course) and the front man did a solo album + tour in the meantime. One other band member did some stuff as a producer and from like 2 of them I think I saw a total of 4 social media posts during that time lmao. I didn't see a single person worried that they would break up. That never came up as a possibility anywhere. And then I go to 5sos fandom spaces and people are freaking out when the band goes on a break because one of them will have to care for a damn newborn like please 💀

Sorry for ranting, I'm sure you have a lot of this stuff in your inbox now. No need to respond, I just needed to express to someone how truly baffled I am by this behaviour.

Honestly, I blame one direction for a large part of it. Obviously not the boys in 1D but the whole culture and the intensity around them. I like them but I was never in really invested in them so I did watch everything that happened from the outside and I keep seeing the effects of it. A lot of people did not handle their break up and since 5sos has this connection to them that ended bringing fans over to 5sos people get triggered. But it's bullshit because 5sos is a band that wanted to be the band they are. To act as if 5sos is doomed to follow 1Ds footsteps is stupid because 1D was a bunch of kids who didn't want to be in a band, who got put in a band package and explored until they broke. And all of them are doing the thing they wanted all along, which is be solo acts, so the comparison is not fair. You can't compare 5sos to the boyband curse, because they are no are not a boyband. And this is the dumbest argument ever but it is true, 5sos has a lot more freedom with each other to do other things while still keeping the 5sos project alive. Everything they do that's not exactly like the 17 yo posting keeks and doing twitcam from a mansion creating a constant stream of content creates a wave of mass histeria and honestly, I am so tired of it. Even if 5sos were about to take a decade long break, which I don't think they will, they like making music with each other too much to just stop, they can. They gave us over a third of their lives already. They are allowed different dreams.

Also I think there's this layer of desensitization surrounding famous people in general, that makes people not see them as real people with real feelings or see them as this character they get mad won't follow the script they made in their heads. And the whole way some parts of the music industry just want a really fast rotation that's not really possible and things like K-pop that end up having a higher rotation that creates a bigger stream of content that's not really sustainable in a healthy way for very long but creates a weird expectation anyway. And people think they're allowed to demand shit just because (and this goes from the temper tantrum for the lack of tour to the obnoxious hbg chanting)

5sos already did the killing themselves for the band. Now they live and have a band. I rather to see things this way. They are happy, they are thriving in other aspects of life. If that means waiting another 2, 3, 5, 10 years for new music, so be it. To use 5sos own metaphor, they're driving the bus, we're just along for the ride so whatever stops and turns they want is what goes. They can do whatever they want because is their life and it's their band. And I'm not worried they're gonna break up. Not even a little bit. If not seeing them for a year while Michael settles into being a father is what it takes for them to be happy and healthy, then so be it, let them exist outside the band.

[thisiskatsblog]

louis posting an instagram video where he mentions the paris rainbow lights fan project and shows pride flags and talks about his connection with fans etc feels like a way to appease us and is very insidious and i'm seeing him in a very different light tbh, i simply cannot forgive him for shitting all over us then trying to appease by showing pride flags and talking nice about a rainbow project it feels very disingenuous, back in 1d days these counter moves of love towards the lgbtq+ community after a denial or a shut down or whatever would feel authentic and brave but i'm seeing it from a very different perspective these days and i don't know how to feel, i'm just very much done with louis i think and as a queer fan i feel heartbroken because he used to be my home and now he's completely unrecognisable to me, oh well, things change and i hope he's happy with his 14 fans by the end of it bc he's giving us the shovel in which we bury his career, lots of people have said the chicken thing was their final straw and are leaving in droves (i'm one of them) so i wish him luck and hope all this shit was worth it for him, i have no empathy left for him and it's time to call it a day and just speak to my fandom friends and not support him directly via money social media mentions etc

(((anon))) (if you're into hugs, sounds like you needed one)

Thanks for bringing up that Instagram reel - I actually hadn't seen it in full yet, just some snippets on Tumblr here.

I don't know how much of your negative feeling towards that reel stem from the fact that you thought it was posted after Parmageddon to appease LGBTQ fans. If it makes a difference: seems that actually, the reel was posted before the Twitter chat.

I feel some thought went into it, and there’s definitely a shitload of rainbows in there, at quite interesting moments of the narrative.

I'm inclined to believe it's genuinely trying to say something, trying to express gratitude for the rainbow projects -without saying so explicitly - ok - I'll grant that - but it doesn't seem disingenuous to me.

The tweet, on the other hand, comes across as such a ridiculously far fetched comment. Why would he even bring that up?

Like I said, I cannot make much sense of one thing next to the other. I'm not even trying to anymore, to be honest.

And I do understand that this is different for you - for many people maybe. For very specific and very personal reasons that I can't really ever put the finger on, I have a strong undercurrent of (blind?) faith in Louis and the tweet didn't shake that enough for me to leave the fandom. And I fully understand that not everyone feels that way. That you can’t feel that way if you don’t have the same very personal reasons that I have.

Clearly the balance is different for you, for others, and particularly for a lot of LGBTQ+ people. The conflicting messages are confusing, they are painful, and they do lead people to believe they are safe when maybe in the end they are not. It's not a great situation. And it's totally valid, and acceptable, and healthy, perhaps, for someone to decide to leave that situation.

Sorry to see you go but I hope leaving brings relief and makes you happier.

[seiwas]

twenty questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag erika 🥺 @kedsandtubesocks

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15 so far but i don't post everything i write on there 🥺 just the longer ones or any series i'm writing!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,184! (even i'm shocked... HABSFHASB)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

jujutsu kaisen, haikyuu!!, boku no hero academia

4. Top five fics by kudos

tell me about love (show me how) - gojo x reader; conversations on love

this feeling inside of me—will i ever bring you peace? - gojo x reader; conversations on love

so this is what it means to be in love - gojo x reader; conversations on love

these traces of love (they outline you) - gojo x reader; conversations on love

take my time (i'll spend it all on you) - gojo x reader; conversations on love

my highest notes on tumblr are very different from my top five kudos on ao3 🥺

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to as much as i can! i'm more responsive on tumblr just bc i feel less shy and feel more casual (?) with it, if that makes sense! ao3 comments make me feel really intimidated (even though they're all so lovely 🥺)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

this kind-of-ex!bakugo blurb: 4:49 a.m. OR this two-shot canon-adjacent nanami fic: i'll be good to you | (you were good to me)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

almost all of my fics have happy endings!! 🥺 i live for softness and subtle intimacies 🥺 honestly!! i think this yuuji dating app fic is the cutest tho!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

none so far, thankfully 🥺

9. Do you write smut?

very rarely, and it isn't the most explicit when i do!

10. Craziest crossover?

i've never written one!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope so far (as much as i'm aware), and hopefully it stays that way 🥺

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i used to write fics with my bsf in back in high school! it was fun brainstorming ideas with her then hehe now i currently have a collab milestone event with @stellamancer! i have other collabs but this is the only one where we're really both working on the same fic 🥺 (it's been a while, but we're working on the fics and are just waiting to finish writing everything before we post it all!)

14. All time favorite ship?

this is tough jhdbj probs edwin tho 🥺 (edward elric x winry rockbell); but i haven't read a shipfic in a long time!

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i don't want to admit this bc i am still in denial and am hoping that my stubborn ass will get the fic done still, someday 😌 so 😌 i will not speak it into existence 😌

16. What are your writing strengths?

exploring character thoughts and feelings i think 🥺 or subtle intimacies 🥺 i think i can establish relationships well 🥺

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue oh my god jhbfhjsd and i don't think my ideas are very exciting!

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i like seeing it!! i usually do the quick translate option when it pops up.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

omg. either kuroko no basuke or katekyo hitman reborn LOL but it was private to me only and is still hidden in my notes. unless we count my 1d self insert fic days (that i also kept to myself), then. HAHHA

20. Favorite fic you've written?

either this gojo one: these traces of love (they outline you) OR this nanami one: if art can be touched, will you let m hold you?

i think more than the writing itself, i just really like how i conceptualised it. it was overall really satisfying for me to write!

open tagging anyone who wants to do this!

[jeanharlowseyebrows]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @raylangivins, thank you!!! i've never done one of these and it was fun to think about.

How many works do you have on ao3? so i've actually had like. a lot of ao3 accounts. some of which are still around and some that i have sent on to greener pastures. my 1d fic is #gone but not forgotten <3. for simplicity's sake i'm just going to do my current ao3 account even though all of the works on it are very Indie and Niche and therefore not super widely read. all that being said: 9.

What’s your total ao3 word count? 38,034

What fandoms do you write for? i'm not really like a super single fandom driven writer, if that makes sense. i don't tend to write and write and write continuously for the same fandom. like traditionally i will have one (1) idea per fandom and once it happens then it's done. i've written more yellowjackets fic than any other fandom, but i think that's because there are so many characters and i can muster one fucked up little scenario for each of them. also there are far more fandoms represented in my google docs than what i've published on ao3.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? well. taking into consideration that i don’t really have many kudos on any of my stories (again. niche. indie.), these are the top 5:

something holy (the borgias) soft as cotton, tender as kiss (the haunting of hill house) at every mouth his teeth a sinner champ’d (yellowjackets) princess diana (yellowjackets) the scaffolding of the human body (yellowjackets)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i always try to! for one, i don't really get that many, so it's easy to reply, and i do really like talking about writing and hearing what people liked, what they didn't like, etc. one of my favorite things to do as a reader is to leave long as shit wordy ass comments on stories i've really enjoyed and i really enjoy when people do that for my stories too. it's just cool to hear what stood out to someone, what they really enjoyed, what they felt. it's rewarding to get feedback and i don't want someone to feel like they've left me a comment and i've ignored them.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummmmmmm i would say most of them lean towards angsty/bittersweet? love with claws and teeth (yellowjackets) is probably the most angsty lol sorry taissa turner </3

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? again none of them are really… like… overjoyed. one might be tricked by something holy but in my mind, what lurks around the corner for them is Not Good and therefore the ending is not necessarily NOT happy but that's only because they haven't gotten to the unhappiness yet.

Do you get hate on fics? i haven’t yet but it would certainly be intriguing interesting and compelling if i did.

Do you write smut? rarely. like i try but it’s not my strong suit so i don't do it very often. also i wouldn't say the majority of my fic like. needs it? i'm not typically writing the kind of fic where one might expect explicit sex.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i write crossovers in my mind and nowhere else. actually i did publish a crossover as a kid on ff dot net and it was stand by me/the outsiders and i specifically remember a scene taking place in a junkyard and people jumping off the tops of junked cars. so obviously it was very normal and good.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? i don’t think so but who knows. the internet is a vast place.

Have you ever had a fic translated? i don’t think so! but it would be fun if i did!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? not really, i don't think i would be very good at it. i am far too attached to the sound of my own voice and also i'm bossy and particular

What’s your all-time favorite ship? this is just too difficult of a question. i've read sooooooooo many ships across soooooooooo many fandoms. like i'll literally read anything i'm not picky. probably my most frequently read ships are like the big standards - deancas, stevebucky, etc. - but that's just because they're very available.

What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? realistically most of them. i finish maaaaaaaaybe 10% of the things I start.

What are your writing strengths? i really enjoy my own close third person narration lmao. also i think i’m good at like taking little details and creating a scene. otherwise known as imagery (#writing)

What are your writing weaknesses? cannot for the life of me come up with a plot ever

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? it's not something that's necessarily come up for me but if i did it, i would want to know someone who spoke whatever language it was who could help me make it seem very natural and well-placed. i would be extremely reluctant to try like a google translate type thing.

First fandom you wrote for? 1986 classic stand by me, which i just went to my old fanfic dot net account to double check. published in 2006 lmfao

Favorite fic you’ve written? i don’t know if it’s my favorite but i think devotional was kind of a departure for me and maybe stands out for that reason. i still really like the writing style. it’s more sparse than i usually tend towards and also written in present tense, which isn't usual for me. i just think it’s kind of evocative and lyrical and nice and it'd be fun if more people read it lmao

tagging @elliecreed @haniawritesthings @chasingfictions @r-osehips

[phdmama]

20 questions for fic writers!

HUGE thank you to @sugareey-makes-stuff @kingsofeverything @xanthippe74 for tagging me in this one!! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

208! That's not including the large number of Tumblr drabbles I need to post for archival purposes!

2. What's your total AO3 Word Count?

1,066,342 <- which OMG

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I started in 1D (Larry mostly though I've done a couple of threesomes) and then I shifted to HP - I think I've only written main Drarry? I've dabbled a tiny bit in Stucky and I've written one 911 Buddie fic (but I'm working on another one!)

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

My top one is on that's co-written and has that number of kudos due to the other author, so for the ones that are just mine:

I Like the Way You Move for Me (Drarry)

Feels Like Coming Home (Larry)

Beautiful Madness (Drarry)

Tell Me How You Like It (Drarry - outsider POV)

Is This Love? (Drarry)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try but I struggle to keep up with them - not because I get so many comments haha, but I do that "get behind spiral out feel terrible" thing way too often!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't tend to write angst-y endings, because I really need a happy ending but I've got a couple of really short painful things! Unsurprisingly, these are all microfic/vignette sorts of things!

The Ghost of You (Drarry, microfic, post-MCD)

Here Without You (Drarry, vignette, post-breakup)

What's Left Behind (Drarry, vignette, MCD) wow I just reread this one and FUCK ME I AM A MONSTER

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Unhhhh most of them honestly! I will say, I do SOMEtimes VERY RARELY put some pain on the journey to HEA so if I had to guess, I'd say that all of me (loves all of you) (Drarry) is probably my most unabashedly sappy no-angst fluff.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face anyway! I'm sure there are people who don't like my writing but I think they ignore me more than anything! One of the perks of being a very small writer, I think!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do! For kind, I write slash, I guess you'd call it (gay), almost all of it M/M. I have one girl!fic. I don't really write too much kink, I'd say most of what I do is pretty vanilla. Healthy communication is my kink, I guess!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ummm off the top of my head, no?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I read one fic that was not a plagiarism of my actual work but was literally the exact same plot, the exact same story beats, the exact same setting etc. I am well-aware there's nothing new under the sun but I read it and was like, unhhh. It's one of my greatest fears honestly - accidentally taking someone's fic!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know. I've been approached, but I'm not comfortable with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup! Twice! Both in the Larry fandom. One was with one other writer (who's long gone from fandom as far as I know) and one (Wine Not) I wrote with a big group of people who've become some of my absolute closest friends!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't have one specific. The ones I write for, I obviously feel very very strongly about, but the bummer for me is that when I'm writing in a particular pair, I don't read anything in that pairing! I also don't read for the ship, but for the story and the writing, so I read in a LOT of different pairings!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Fuck me, so many.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oof, I'm not sure! I'm not a trained writer by any means. I think I do scene setting pretty well?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, for sure. It's really hard and I can get bogged down in the "and then THIS happened and then THIS happened and then THIS happened" - I'm so linear, so I have to push myself there.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Generally no. I've sprinkled in a few words here and there, but I wouldn't do much of it, and if I had to, I would 1000% find someone to help me with it and not rely on Google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Larry. Still writing there and kinda following along a bit but I'm not active in that fandom anymore other than the writing.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I'm not sure I have one fav fic - I'd say I'm really proud of my long (for me) fics! Those are hard for me, and there's a couple that are really really personal. But I have to say, Maybe You're the Difference (Drarry) is one I really like and am really proud of. I worked so so hard on it.

I feel like I'm late on this one, so I'll call this a general tag (FOR REAL I HONESTLY MEAN IT) - if you want to do this, DO IT and tag me!! xox