#but really and truly it depends on what kinda frame + personality you're into

[luxflora]

look you can't just ASK WHO THE MOST ATTRACTIVE TRANSFORMERS CHARACTER IS

[roguestorm]

thanks for answering! now i’m curious to know what your x-men age headcanons are, if you don’t mind sharing

Of course! These are headcanons, and there are places in canon where they won't work super well - that's just the nature of the beast. This is also going to exclude time travel stuff and deaths and so on, since those are specific to every character.

The Originals

Scott, Warren, Hank, Bobby, and Jean are all approximately the same age, with not quite 2 years between the oldest (Hank) and the youngest (Bobby).

If we assume Scott's in the middle of that age range, he'd be 16 in X-Men #1, late 20s in X-Factor in the mid-80s, early 30s in the 90s, probably 40 by Utopia in the 2010s. Krakoa probably happens about 30 years after the founding of the X-Men, but we can say that their pod duplicate bodies are younger or age more slowly or whatever we want to say.

Charles has a truly astonishing amount of backstory, so I'm gonna say he's like mid-30s by the time he's founding the X-Men. He's a full-grown adult, 20 years older than Scott.

Alex is 4 or 5 years younger than Scott, and Lorna's probably a couple of years older than Alex.

Uncanny characters

Ororo is 5 or 6 years older than Scott. I like this because it's a significant amount at the beginning of their relationship (when Scott is early twenties and Ororo is late twenties) but basically becomes irrelevant as they go on.

Sean is old for the team. He's about 15 years older than Scott, not quite as old as Charles but definitely closer in age to Charles than anyone else on the team.

Logan is Logan.

I have no strong opinions on Kurt's age? He's probably on the younger side.

Emma is about 10 years older than Scott. I feel this in my soul.

Rogue is pretty significantly younger; she's a teenager when she joins the team. Let's say 10 years younger than Scott, although that runs into problems with the next group, since she is definitely older than Kitty.

Betsy is a pain to get an age for because she and Brian are twins who have never once been written as the same age. Brian seems to be about Scott's age and Betsy seems to be about Rogue's age, which is not how twins work. You can go with either, really.

New mutants (+ Kitty and Jubes and some others)

Kitty, Jubilee, Rahne, Doug, and Roberto are all approximately the same age.

Dani and Sam are a couple years older, and Xuan is fully 6 years older. Rachel and Rictor are approximately the same age as Dani. Piotr is famously 4 years older than Kitty.

Kitty and co are a problem because they should be about 10 years younger than Scott based on ages when they're introduced. However, comics hate aging characters up, and while Scott can plausibly be 40 at Utopia, there's no way that Kitty and Jubilee are 30 at the time.

Seriously, the ages for these characters are impossible to square with the idea that people actually age, so if you wanna make them consistently 10 years younger than Scott, you have to make Scott closer to 33 during Utopia. Which I don't personally like.

It kinda depends what you're thinking about ages for and which era you care about and so on. 15 years younger than Scott is a good starting place and then move it up or down as makes sense to you.

This is the general frame I work with and then I'll try to fit other characters into it. There is no way to make it all make sense, but I try to, and this is usually my starting place.

[proximasc0rner]

(So. I'm going to preface this by saying I'm a Gen Z queer kid who doesn't know what it was like to be LGBTQ in the earlier days of our fight for equality, and I don't know what it was like to have the ONLY queer representation onscreen be queer-coded villains. This post is not to be taken too seriously. It was just a silly thought that popped into my head, so I wanted to share a lighthearted rant about it. Please don't murder me okay thanks)

Sometimes life gives you lemons, and sometimes it hits you with the Disney Villains hyperfixation. Again.

This post isn't going to be about how much I am a fUCKING SIMP because I do NOT have the balls to talk about the shit that runs through my head when I'm just casually in love with fictional Bad People™️

Instead, it's just about me diving through various rabbit holes and learning about the queer community's complicated relationship with Disney Villains. I learned what the Hays Code was, and how it was the origin of the queer-coded villain trope. Good guys weren't allowed to be gay. And even though the Hays Code eventually just kinda died for the most part, the trope stuck around.

But even though the trope was designed to frame queer people as untrustworthy, perverse, and strange, a lot of LGBTQ folks really, REALLY love these diabolical characters, myself included-- although I wasn't around when the queer community first "claimed" the villains as our own, so to speak. I actually watched a really interesting video essay on the subject that I'll link to below! A lot of it boiled down to a sense of relatability to these characters-- these villains want to take charge of their lives, and are more often than not outcasts in some respects. So, really, it becomes easy to see the appeal of these extremely self-confident and unapologetically different characters.

But again. Queer-coded villains come with a lot of historical baggage. Thus, when the live-action remakes started coming out, the villains lost most of the queer-coding they had.

But that gave them the new problem. They are FUCKING BORING. LOOK I HAD TO SAY IT. These bitches do NOT have much personality to them. I'd give an example of a Disney live-action remake villain to prove this point, but uh I'm. Kinda boycotting Disney right now, and these movies. I cannot remember these movies enough to tell you anything about them.

BUT ANYWAY. I realized that kind of leaves queer audiences between a rock and a hard place: either have a queer-coded villain whose trope was literally made to villainize queer people, orrrr have a villain whose personality is so bland that you might as well replace them with a sapient cup of tap water and still have the same impact.

And thus, I propose a solution to this dilemma!

Yes, queer-code the villains (DONT LEAVE YET IM GETTING SOMEWHERE). Make them just as delightfully overdramatic as villains like Maleficent or Jafar. Give them that limp wrist. GIVE THOSE MALE VILLAINS PERFECT EYELINER.

But if you're going to queer-code the villain? Then queer-code the hero, too. Show that queerness is not intrinsically tied to morality of any kind, it's just a part of who some people are. Make those heroes flamboyant. Give them that drag queen gait. If you're feeling froggy, lesbian-code the hero's mom or something! Make her be older and unmarried and give her that deeper voice and then show how fucking awesome of a mother she is to the hero. Walt Disney would be rolling in his grave (or cryogenic pod depending on who you ask /j), and I think that would be truly beautiful.

So. Yeah. That about covers it. Okay everyone go home and drink water. :)

EDIT: HAHAHAHA I DEFINITELY DIDNT FORGET ABOUT THE LINK TO THE VIDEO OR ANYTHING

[darkmarxsoul]

(I suggest reading this entire ask in the calmest manner possible, since I'm not here trying to aggravate anyone. However...) There are people who get horny at the sight of feet; okay hmm, should we ban bare feet from public places then, like beaches? There are people who see women's chests bounce while they walk and get aroused; alright, should we ban women's boobs from public spaces? How about smells? Since some get aroused from those too... Then there are individuals who see naked people and don't feel anything. In some cultures public nudity can even be expected and completely normal (a certain African one with women having their boobs out comes to mind) Are these other cultures wrong for being that way, just because someone in another country might see boobs and think of sex? If no, then why should kinksters change their way of self-expression and culture, just because other people can't see past the possible sexual connotations of their clothes? (again, should we ban feet...?) Then, at around the 2000s (if i remember correctly), there were mainstream fashion trends that included vintage cock-rings in them because straight folks didn't know what they were. No one was hurt by a couple metal rings on clothing. No one has been actually hurt by seeing leather clothes, just like no one has been hurt by seeing things like cosplay. Sure, people can- and do get uncomfortable at times, but I get uncomfortable and nauseous around certain perfumes and I certainly can't tell other people what they should smell like. I can deal with my slight discomfort. I can just walk away from the person or put up with the displeasure for a moment, depending on how bad I feel. All of this is to say: the kind of arguments you're talking on don't tend to make sense when they're broken down into what is really happening. Kink isn't inherently about sex, and even then sexual feelings aren't inherently bad, or wrong, or "sinful", and kink at pride is really just about dressing up a bit weird for the mainstream culture. People aren't advocating for having literal sex in the middle of a rally, and I'm afraid that if anyone says that that is happening, then they're lying to try and prove a point about "gay people can't be trusted". Gay people just existing in whatever way they want aren't "sinful" and "wrong", even if it involves leather clothing or doggy masks... It's just clothing in the end, outfits, like cosplay, no matter what that clothing's private-time use is. Just like people can have sex in daily work-wear when they get home. People participating in pride aren't hurting anyone by showing up in similar outfits straight folks at coachella wear every year. I saw lingerie and panties and bras almost daily when coachella came on. No one batted an eye, even when those clothes can be considered to have sexual connotations. And I certainly don't want to force people to cover up more... Perhaps we, especially in the west, just need to re-frame how we see these kinds of things, how we see nudity, or kink, or sex itself. With that said, it seems that underneath it all, there is a lot of conservative ideology you're pushing. Maybe you don't truly realize it, maybe it doesn't feel like it, but it is there and it's kinda... not good from another lgbt+ viewpoint... However, I'm not trying to shame you. You're allowed to feel uncomfortable around these topics, just like I'm allowed to be uncomfortable next to awful smelling perfume, no-one's feelings are invalid, but what you do with those feelings can incredibly harmful to people's livelihoods and rights to simply exist. No one is trying to say that *you* yourself have to become a kinkster or get really into sex or anything. But how you're trying to police and control what other lgbt+ people are doing because *you* or some others feel uncomfortable is giving increasing authoritarian, christian-conservative talking points. Otherwise have a nice day. Again. This is just talking across the internet, just some dialogue. But I hope it can give some food for thought.

I think the difference from the things you specified is that feet, smells, and the breasts of those assigned female at birth, are all just things in the world that exist on their own. Things like harnesses, pup masks, gimp suits, stuff like that, were created and emerged out of a culture that was intrinsically linked to sex. Some people integrate them into their everyday life based on some kind of mode of living they find comfortable, but the community and the source of that behaviour is undeniably based in sex. Trying to split hairs here is not doing anybody any favours. I don't see them as being the same thing.

Basically, I would disagree that kink is not about sex. Some INDIVIDUALS may perform kink in non-sexual contexts, but the OVERALL cultures and communities of pretty much every kink are irrevocably linked with sex. Literally if you look up "pup mask" one of the first sites you get is a BDSM site with material that is clearly intended to be used for sex. At that point it doesn't matter if SOME of the stuff is not used for sex. It is CONNECTED to stuff that is, it is part of a CULTURE that is about sex. That is enough.

Like you're right, nobody is "hurt" by seeing blatantly sexual things in public, but it's totally reasonable to feel uncomfortable and alienated by seeing somebody broadcast their sexual preferences and/or alignment with a kink community in public, because it just IS something sexually strange and kind of alarming. I don't think it is unreasonable for people to WANT sex to be something that kept to the bedroom, or to communities' own private spheres. And, I also think it's reasonable for people who aren't into KINK specifically, to not want to see kink stuff. I think people who are into kink should exercise a bit of self-awareness that the stuff they're into is naturally going to put some people off due to how strange and unsettling it is in the context of sex. Just because YOU are okay with your kink stuff doesn't mean that EVERYBODY should be. It's kink BECAUSE a minority of people are into it.

It's weird. You should respect that it's weird and let the rest of society have its boundaries respected, provided it also acknowledges that it's your right to do it within your spheres.

I also believe that it is not unthinkable that minors who are exposed to those things might want to explore those things too. And that's fair enough, minors are allowed to have fetishes, but things like BDSM and stuff like that involve a whole swath of behavioural nuance that is necessary to ensure people don't wind up literally traumatized by people going across their boundaries, whether intentionally or not. I don't necessarily believe that teenagers are well enough equipped to navigate that sphere of things responsibly or safely. And if you just throw a bunch of ignorant, unaware people into a community like that, quite frankly bizarre and unsettling cultural norms and behaviour results. I've seen enough weirdoes on online communities to know that.

And, even without all of these considerations, that's not even really the main issue. The main issue at least for me is, I don't agree that being gay is a kink. Being gay runs the entire gamut of romantic and sexual pairbonding experiences, it just limits the genders of the partners you can possibly have the same way being straight does. When you integrate kink into pride, what you're doing is you're making Being Sexually Aberrant into an aspect of being gay. When you do that, that makes ALL GAY PEOPLE irreocably connected to fetishes simply by existing. It is literally impossible for a gay person to engage with their own LGBT community while also not wanting to be associated with kink because they just want to be a normal-ass person the same as any normal-ass person.

I totally understand WHY these communities are connected culturally, but just because they WERE in the past doesn't mean they SHOULD BE forever. I think being gay should be just seen as totally unremarkable. That should be a right they have. But being kink by its very definition will never be, nor should it be expected to be.

And that's the difference between Pride and coachella, as far as I know. Coachella ONLY exists to be a festival where people go around in sexual clothing and do that stuff. If you're going to go to coachella, that is something that you should expect to see because that's the point. The question for Pride is, what is Gay Pride FOR? It's in the name—it's for gay people. It's to profess that being gay is to be accepted and celebrated in the face of those who think it is not. But being gay is not the same as being kink or sexually bizarre. It's not the same as wearing a cock ring or a gimp suit or a pup mask. And it shouldn't be implied to be. It should just be what it is—being attracted to the same sex, whether that be sexually or romantically or whatever.

(Though as a digression I do believe society is too obsessed with sex and I believe it is necessary to chill tf out about it)

However I will fully admit that I understand the argument that by engaging in this discussion I am pushing conservative ideology. I have a similar issue with people who debate trans people's participation in sports. These are complex philosophical ideas that I think are worth talking about, but not if they push fascist ideals. I want to walk the line between engaging in discussion that is worth having, and not giving fascists a platform.

It's been hard to know where that line is. I want to believe that as a random dude on the Internet I don't have the kind of platform wherein I could seriously impact anything, but the things I say here are visible. So maybe I really am just having a negative impact, and now is not the time to even be humoring this kind of thing. I've been thinking a lot about that and I'm not sure where I stand. But it's been good to have the opportunity to reflect on it.

I appreciate the effort you put into typing this and the fact that you extended a proverbial olive branch about it. You have a nice day too.

[asmrtist-brainrot]

If you’re willing, some Yandere!Davey head cannons? I liked your yandere!sam a lot!

I kinda had a hard time imagining Davey as a yandere initially but framing his intensity and feelings in a different light, I can really see where he has the potential to be one.

... Baby is already a tsundere after all.

Gender Neutral! Reader + Reader is Angel

~ Dari

David Shaw + General Yandere HCs

another mostly self-aware yandere, full of fear that he might scare you away but but completely aware in the sense that while it's not healthy for him to worry... he truly cannot leash that part of it

protective, possessive, and emotionally dependant

leans hard into possessive, mostly due to his shifter nature and the immense need to keep as many awful people away from you if possible

people can't really see any of these tendencies being as he's so prickly and abrasive and chalk up most quirks to him being a bit mean

the only person I can realistically seeing the extremes of his behavior is Asher but it's unlikely he ever will with how careful David is

but his feelings extend to the rest of his pack too, especially as they are his family

like if any of them were to commit a murder or something of the like, he would make sure it'd be covered up and pull as many strings as he can

David was about ready to hunt down the shade that hurt Milo as well, but as it was in the hands of the department, it was good that he hadn't

honestly about to throttle most of the pack for also making fun of Milo but restrained himself as they are also family

about to go and kill Quinn himself for Darlin' and out of fear that he'd come for the rest of the pack

probably angrier at Darlin' for running off and taking such a risk in the first place

speaking of which, as his mate, you hold a lot of power over him - whether you know it or not

after he's lost his parents and was thrust into a position of power where he felt there wasn't any emotional support, he truly attached himself to you in a way where he believes he would genuinely be unable to go on without you

like a life preserver keeping him from sinking, of which he desperately clings to

almost reverent in worship, especially to you - "Angel" is kinda him lifting you above everyone upon a pedestal and probably would prioritize you in a dangerous situation

if it means he has to manipulate events to keep you from leaving - he'd do it - but that's a last resort

he thought about causing some freak accident for Michael if it meant that you'd stay, but held off when he realized that you were just worried about making him upset

would likely hunt down every person that you'd griped about at work for making your life harder if not for the fact you might be on the suspect list if they were to disappear

absolutely has thought about killing someone unempowered in his wolf form as it could just be dismissed as an animal attack and D.U.M.P. would just leave it alone

has not acted on any of his more violent tendencies and despite being somewhat short tempered, self-control is his creed

understands that love rivals are nonexistent, you were the one that initiated the flirting and all and you wouldn't just up and leave him for someone else

he knows this but the paranoia is great, setting him to snapping at whoever shows that type of interest

Davey's little tick about keeping him updated via phone are a little more intense, when he asked for small things throughout the day - he got embarrassed when you fawned over at how clingy he was being

but it quelled the obsessive part of him that wants to know where you are and what you're doing at all times

while it could be just excused by his natural protectiveness, these feelings usually are not carried by thoughts of causing bodily harm or homicide

he is secure in your relationship, but it doesn't mean that he likes people encroaching on his territory

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Smut, you say 👀

You're this cute, kinda innocent woman that gets the help of this handsome gigolo to not be as... innocent.

💕 The Professional: Chapter 1 💕

Chapter Two

Rating: PG-13 (for this chapter only)

Pairing: Danma Takeru (Hatter)/Reader (she/her

Tags: flirting, suggestive conversation, alcohol consumption, smoking, kissing

“Well, darling,” he says, voice low and smooth and so much closer than before, “I think it’s high time we got to the heart of the issue. The root of the root and the bud of the bud, as it were.”

“Uh,” you say, unsure of where he’s going with this but very much enjoying his simple touches, “what do you mean?”

“I’m just wondering,” he clarifies, pausing to let out a soft sigh, “when you’re going to give in and kiss me.”

Notes: This is a kind-of sort-of AU—in the show, Hatter references his involvement with the host club business, and mentions that he “would do anything” to be the best. Although host clubs do not usually involve sex work (as far as I know), I believe that he would definitely offer that “off the books” in order to win over his clientele.

You’re nervous. Nervous and jittery and—oh, dear, there’s a lot of feelings going on in here, and all of them seem to fall under the umbrella of ‘mild to moderate discomfort.’ Not that feeling uncomfortable is anything new; in fact, there are very few times where you happen to feel truly comfortable outside of, say, the warmth of your bed or the soothing calm of a late-night bath. Places where you feel safe. Places where you can let yourself breathe and be, unhindered by expectation.

The place where you currently find yourself—this strange little pocket of a room in the buzz and bustle of a Friday-night Kabukicho—is full-to-bursting with expectation. From the polished wood floors to the glittering gold chandelier that hangs from the center of the ceiling, there is an inescapable sense of opulent whimsy that is tinged pink with a blush of sensuality. There are even fresh flowers on the table in front of you—a vase of ranunculus, blooming bright and orange like a green-stalked bunch of tiny setting suns.

Something like an itch tickles your sweat-damp palms, making you ball your hands into tight fists around the fabric of your skirt. Oh, you should have worn something different! Something sexier, maybe, with a deeper neckline and a shorter hem, that hugged the shape of your body as opposed to ghosting over it in fluttering chiffon. Not that you actually, you know, owned anything like that, but—

The pop! of a champagne cork makes you jump. Hell, you feel like you’re about to pop, too, from the nervous energy boiling and swelling in your chest. It’s so very difficult not to fidget, to keep your toes from tapping out a frantic little rhythm on the rug.

Looking back, you realize that the paperwork had been the ‘easy’ part. Not that it had been particularly easy—who knew there would be an application process for this kind of thing?—but it was less stressful to fill out a (surprisingly comprehensive) questionnaire in the privacy of your own home as opposed to this agonizing waiting.

And what, exactly, are you waiting for?

Why, you’re waiting for him.

His name is Takeru—or, at least, that’s what he’s asked you to call him. Whether or not it’s a stage name is difficult to tell; but what you do know is that it sounded so very nice in the deep clear of his voice. The only thing that sounded better was your name, which he said in a gently-sultry half-whisper that made you feel…many thing, and not all of them innocent.

In a devastatingly well-tailored suit of lipstick red—a vibrant pop of a color you would so often consider buying at the makeup counter but always put back—it’s nearly impossible to look at anything but him. A small collection of rings glisten from his fingers, most of them delicate little things that wink a tiny gleam when the light hits them just right. The dizzying black-white-gold pattern of his shirt is unbuttoned just a smidge too low, offering you a tantalizing view of his chest.

And although his back is toward you, concocting some kind of magic at the bar cart along the far wall, you can all but feel the warm-dark of his eyes on you. Oh, he has beautiful eyes, dark and warm with the glitter of laughter—or perhaps mischief, if the situation calls for it. A slim nose leads down to a shapely mouth, handsomely framed by a neatly-trimmed beard and mustache.

Also, his hair—oh, that man has a great head of hair.

Aesthetics aside—he has been undeniably lovely. Slipping the coat from your shoulders when you walked into the room, fingertips skimming the slope of your shoulders with only the barest of touches. Offering you a glass of champagne (“Yes, thank you”) as he leads you to sit on the green velvet settee, hand hovering above but never touching the small of your back. A serene smile on his lips as he talks, as he tells you that your dress is lovely (“Blue is definitely your color, darling”) and letting out an airy chuckle when you mention that this was as good occasion as any to dig it out of the back of your closet.

It is impossible to ignore the way he is so very provocative—subtly so, in a way that makes you second-guess whether his flirtations had happened at all. Did his eyes really linger over the shape of your legs, or was he simply taking a moment to admire your (new, very cute) shoes? Did his fingertips slip over the curve of your shoulder as he removed your coat, or were you just imagining it?

His gaze tiptoes over your shape as he sits down beside you, two flutes of pink-tinged something in hands.

“I’ve taken the liberty of making something a little special,” he says, “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” you say as he hands you one of the glasses, “it…it looks nice.”

“Know what it is?”

“Uh,” you say after a moment of silent deliberation, “Maybe alcohol?”

He huffs a short laugh at your half-joke—a rather polite response, and it manages to soothe the bubble of regret that had risen up your throat the moment you’d said it.

“You’re not wrong. More specifically, though, it’s a Kir Royale—or, my take on one, at the very least,” he watches the bubbles fizzle to the top of the glass, “I find myself more or less incapable of keeping with convention, even when it comes to alcohol.”

“Well, uh,” you say, “it’s pretty. I like the color.”

You taste the drink, bubbles like tiny fireworks tickling over the surface of your tongue. There is a dry bitterness, no doubt from the champagne, but it’s softened by a fruity sweetness. Something familiar, something that reminds you of summer and shaved ice and walks along the river and—

“Cherry,” you say, half-lost in the hazy-warm memory of days gone by—until you remember where you are and snap back to reality, “it’s, uh, it tastes like cherries.”

“Very good. Usually, the drink calls for creme de cassis, but I used Kijafa instead. It’s a dessert wine from Denmark, made from cherries,” his brow raises just a smidge, “I thought it appropriate, given the situation.”

And it takes you a minute to understand what he’s talking about. Cherries. You. Ah. A rather crass comparison, but accurate all the same.

“Oh,” you say, picking a very uninteresting spot on the rug to look at in an attempt to avoid meeting his eyes, “I, uh…”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he adds, “In fact, virginity isn’t even a real thing. Completely made up. Means nothing, really.”

There is a kind of lag—he’s speaking, you know he’s speaking, but it takes your brain a few extra seconds to figure out what he’s actually saying. It’s strange, hearing someone talk to you so openly about sex. Not unwelcome, by any means, but you need a moment (or two, or ten) to adjust.

“That being said,” he continues, as if he’s discussing the weather, “just because it doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of life doesn’t mean it’s nothing to you.”

He’s fishing. He’s fishing, and you kind of want to take the bait, but…well, you’re finding it difficult to get your thoughts in order. He’s the very picture of calm, all while you’re floundering over a simple conversation.

“Apologies if I’ve overstepped,” he says, taking a slow sip of his drink, “I thought you might prefer to talk it over a bit. ”

“No, uh, you’re fine,” you answer quickly, “I’m just…I thought the paperwork kind of covered all that.”

“More or less,” he answers, “however, I’ve found that the person who fills out the forms and the person who ends up sitting across from me are not always of the same mind.”

He reaches a hand into the inside of his jacket and pulls out a silver-plated cigarette case. Although he is not gentleman enough to ask your permission to smoke, he is gentleman enough to offer you a cigarette before taking one of his own. You decline. He shrugs and quickly snaps the case shut before laying it on the table.

“In fact, it’s not uncommon for my clients to have a complete change of heart the second they walk through the door,” he continues, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, “Or, sometimes later on, for that matter. Depends on the person.”

Cigarette held between his teeth, he retrieves a lighter from his right trouser pocket. With a sharp little snick, he ignites it, pulling the little orange flame towards his face and hiding it behind his hand to let it catch.

“Really?”

You watch him intently, the way his eyelids flutter closed at the first inhale. The way his lips pucker around the filter and release, the red-pink sticking slightly as they pull away and let smoky white flow out and fade into the air.

“Really,” he confirms, “once, I had a client step inside, take one look at me, and promptly walk right back out. Never saw them again, which is fine. I’ll never fault someone for doing what’s right for themselves.”

“Are you, uh, trying to talk me out of it?”

“Not at all. Just making you aware of your options,” he says, “Doing anything for the first time is scary. Driving a car, swimming in the ocean, traveling abroad—sex is no different.”

“Yeah, well,” you respond, “you also get to do most of those things with your clothes on, so…”

“Depends on who you’re with.”

You can’t help but laugh a little.

“Well I still want to…you know,” you answer, “uh, do it. The…the sex part.”

“I’m happy to hear it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re supposed to say that.”

“It’s the truth,” he insists, “I can’t imagine anyone being upset at the thought of having a pretty thing like you in their bed.”

“I’m not—“

“Don’t,” he interrupts, taking on a tone that brokers no arguments, “I will suffer many things, but a liar isn’t one of them. You are an attractive woman and I refuse to be told otherwise.”

“Sorry, I,” you say sheepishly, “I guess I just…wasn’t expecting you to…like me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He ashes his cigarette and takes another long, slow drag, “You’re very sweet. A bit shy, maybe, but I happen to like the shy ones.”

And there is something about the way he says it, the way his voice wraps around the words—oh, there are implications to those words, and you find yourself growing warm at the thought of what exactly those implications could entail.

You sip your drink. He smokes. The quiet between you is almost comfortable. Maybe it’s the alcohol working it’s bubbly magic, but you’re starting to feel a bit more at ease in this strange little place.

Moreover, you’re starting to feel a bit more at ease with him. The thought of kissing him crosses your mind, then doubles-back and crosses it again. Oh, that sounds nice. He would be good at it, too; starting gently, mouth pressed soft and sure against your own, and then just the tiniest tease of his tongue—

“And there you go, biting your lip again,” he says, snapping you out of your impromptu fantasy, “You have no idea how sexy that is, do you?”

He is sporting a devilish grin—not only is he aware that you had been daydreaming about him, but he’s relishing the fact that he was able to catch you so off-guard.

“Didn’t even realize I was doing it,” you admit with a shrug. But you can’t help but feel a thrill at the thought of being considered ‘sexy’—you never really let yourself feel that way, but now that it’s happening…oh, it’s nice.

“It’s absolutely delicious, darling. Makes me wonder what else you do when you’re turned on…”

And he’s got you—like a knife held under your chin, his sharp gaze pins you in place. He is impossible to avoid. Not that you particularly want to avoid him—there’s something irresistible about this man, something that you can’t quite name but definitely want more of.

It’s scary.

It’s exciting.

“I’m,” you say with a nervous chuckle, “not really sure, myself. Guess we’ll have to, uh, figure it out together.”

His gaze darkens. He takes one last lungful of nicotine before stubbing out his cigarette.

“I suppose we shall.”

And he’s moving now, sliding himself down so that he’s closer to you. He stops when there is barely an inch of space between the outside of his thigh and your own. His right arm has draped itself over the back of the sofa, the fingertips of his hand now skimming the skin of your shoulder in loose, mindless sweeps.

“Well, darling,” he says, voice low and smooth and so much closer than before, “I think it’s high time we got to the heart of the issue. The root of the root and the bud of the bud, as it were.”

“Uh,” you say, unsure of where he’s going with this but very much enjoying his simple touches, “what do you mean?”

“I’m just wondering,” he clarifies, pausing to let out a soft sigh, “when you’re going to give in and kiss me.”

He plucks the champagne flute from your grasp and sets it on the table in front of you.

“I, uh—“

The fingertips on your shoulder continue to make their idle little circles, almost hypnotic in their swirling pattern. His left hand catches your right wrist, his thumb pressing above where your pulse thrums beneath sensitive skin.

“Bit fast,” he observes, pulling your arm closer as if inspecting it, “Could be nerves, but I think it’s more from excitement, don’t you?”

You have no choice but to lean into him as he brings your hand closer. Your shoulder presses against his arm, and you feel the solid shape of him through the smooth of his suit. He’s strong underneath all of those layers—warm, too, judging from the heat that radiates from his person.

“I’m—“

The thumb that had been testing your pulse inches higher, stopping when it’s pressing into the center of your palm. His eyes lock with yours, a heartbeat of a moment, and brings your wrist closer and closer until his lips are ghosting over your flesh. When he finally decides to make contact, you gasp—it’s a delicate sensation, but sends your heart skipping in a shaking staccato.

And, then.

Then he sucks.

The sound you make is halfway between an oh of surprise and a desperate little moan—oh, wow, that’s really weirdly unexpectedly hot—and you don’t even have the presence of mind to feel embarrassed by your own reaction. He’s not even doing much, not really; just a little bit of pressure, lips parted just enough to let his tongue slip out and have a taste of you.

But, oh, it feels…it feels filthy, it feels decadent, it feels like something you should not be doing but very much want to keep doing for the rest of your life. Takeru’s eyes have since fluttered shut, and he hums the tiniest sound of pleasure as he maintains his seductive tease.

“Please,” you manage to sigh, sounding as breathless as you feel, “please, I, I want you to kiss me.”

His lips release from your wrist with a pucker-pop noise—which was no doubt intentional on his part, and does nothing to quell the thrill of desire in your belly.

“Hm. I’ll make you a deal,” he says, shifting a bit to the left so that he can turn to face you better, “I’ll kiss you for the rest of the night, but right now…you kiss me.”

And what a deal that is—you don’t even have to think about it, head bobbing in an affirmative nod as you wet your lips in anticipation. The hand that had so lovingly held yours is now guiding you to rest your palm just above his knee. You reflexively reach your other hand out to steady yourself, and it lands against his chest before you can stop it.

He’s so close now. There’s barely any space between your faces, barely room to breathe—

“Go on, darling,” he whispers, “if you want me, have me.”

And you do.

You kiss him like it’s the easiest thing in the world. The anxiety that has plagued you since the moment you entered the room hasn’t completely dissipated—it would be foolish to think it’d be that easy to banish those feelings completely—but all that is now secondary to the feeling of his mouth on yours.

Kissing Takeru is warm. It’s soft and it’s sure and it’s…comfortable, in a way. Safe, even. He does not press, doesn’t do much of anything except mirror the way your lips slide against his own. A gentle rhythm, a push and pull between the two of you that feels as natural as the moon guiding the tides to shore—yes, kissing him is good and right and something you want to do many times over.

Unfortunately, you have to pull away to breathe. He doesn’t let you go far, though, one hand cupped behind the nape of your neck and the other pressing into the small of your back.

“Oh, you are sweet,” he purrs, his gaze dropping to your freshly-kissed lips, “and, seeing that I’m a man of my word…”

As it turns out, being kissed by Takeru might be better than kissing him, yourself. He is still so very careful when he presses his lips to yours, but this time…this time, there’s fire. He tastes like the best part of a cigarette, like warmth and alcohol and cherries, and it only intensifies as he tests the seam of your lips with his tongue.

Little by little, you begin to test him, too. Hands cradle the curve of his jaw, feeling the way his face shifts as he moves against you. Fingertips run through the soft dark of his hair—oh, he likes that, if the half-sigh that slips from his throat is to be believed. And when you nip at his lower lip with your teeth (he had, after all, very much enjoyed the way you bit your lip earlier), he genuinely moans and pulls you even closer to himself.

It’s when he begins to wander lower, with his mouth skimming the sensitivity of your neck and his hand splayed across your lower back in a way that flirts with the idea of indecency, that you begin to want more. Fear—and maybe that’s not exactly the right word for what you’re feeling, but it’s the only one that comes to mind—begins to creep up the column of your spine.

The “what-if’s” start filling your brain; what if you mess something up? What if you do something he doesn’t like? What if you freeze up later and—

“Alright, darling?”

His voice is a low soothe against your ear; he’s retreated, just a bit, and his hand has wandered to a chaste and respectable area of your mid-back.

“I—“

You want him to take you to bed. You want him to take off your dress and kiss you in all the places you thought weren’t worth kissing, to let his hands trace sparks along the curves of your shape and let him be close to you in a way that no one else has. You want him, despite the uncertain ache that burns between your ribs and bids you to hide yourself away and leave behind the pleasure of his touch.

…But all you can manage is a nervous glance to the bed behind you (the one you had been avoiding thinking about up until this point) and a stammered “Can we, uh…?”

“Ask me,” he says, his index and middle fingers idly skimming the notch in your collarbone, “I’ll give you anything you want, as long as you ask me.”

It’s difficult to make eye contact with him—every time you try, you feel embarrassment swell up beneath your tongue.

But Takeru is, as you have come to learn over the last hour or so, decidedly patient. He shows no sign of relenting, appearing to be perfectly content with giving you an expectant grin and continuing his little touches as you try not to squirm in your seat.

“I,” you gulp, “I want…“

You bite your lip—oh, wait, he likes that too, and he’s staring at you with those sharp and sultry eyes, and it makes something behind your heart squeeze and unsqueeze itself and punches the air from your lungs and—

“Take me to bed,” you manage to spit out, and it all sounds like one word with how quickly you pushed the words into the air. The “uh, please” you tack on at the end is an afterthought, but perhaps it’s polite enough to pass muster.

“Was that so hard,” Takeru asks with a good-natured chuckle, “but since you asked so nicely…”

He takes your hand in his and brings it to his lips for a kiss—and even that, after everything, still has you feeling a flutter of something giddy in your stomach.

“Darling,” he says, “it would be my pleasure.”

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

…and now, you’ll have to wait until chapter two to get to the “good stuff!”

It’s been a challenge writing this—I’m trying to make the scenario believable while still keeping it vague enough to allow for people to make up their own little details. It’s also been unexpectedly difficult to write him, since he’s kind of being himself while also playing a character who’s trying to mold themself into their client’s fantasy…it’s a lot of layers, but it’s been fun trying to figure things out!

[beatsfortheillperth]

Words with Jetson

Our next interview is with a producer and rapper out of a beautiful place known as Tauranga, in New Zealand, This creative is known as Jetson.

He happens to be one of my cat, Rain's personal favourites for sleep time and regardless of the amount of thumping bass Jetson's music creates and picture frames it knocks over, I understand why he sleeps so sweetly.

Probably a lot to do with the fact that bass has rhythm, just like the sweet sweet words Jetson correlates with his word-plays in tracks such as "Milk" and "SENSEI". Not only impressing cats, Jetson has made moves and connections beyond the long white cloud, proving isolation doesn't always silence brilliance. Jetson brings words any generation can hold some sort of relevance to, words that allow one to notice life moves fast and slow and sometimes you just have to chill and become an observer rather than an instigator.

This is something I feel Jetson has accomplished with his rather low-key approach to releases and interviews.

Jetson is a natural, a true prodigy of sound and a sharer of moods, and to me, is a reminder that with a little bit of passion and persistence, great things can happen, whatever your field.

Jetson’s collective and label - Chill Children is evidence of that, as through it , Jetson is able to work and release with producers and beat-makers all over the globe.

emo the optimist, BACKWHEN, fuyu, eets, and junyii are just some of the diverse talents working with Chill Children and everyone on the catalogue are game-changers that make music that’s anointed in chills. 

Creators that push boundaries and portray emotion through sound in the most soothing way, one must check Chill Children.

So with that I hope you enjoy rare words with the nuance wonder, and in his own words.

Sit back, relax, get baked, create, f**k it.

Enjoy and much love.

Hey man thanks for the opportunity to share words. Let's start with a few random quick questions to get things going. Favourite Beverage: Lemon water. Favourite thing to do in your down-time: Make music/skate. Views on Reincarnation: It will be cool if it is true but I guess it doesn't really change anything if it is 🤷‍♂️ Favourite Food: Sushi. Favourite Album of All Time: Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders A song to break it down to: Ethereal & Playboi Carti - Beef A song to chill to: Durand Jones & The Indications - Cruising to the park Do you prefer Sunrise? or Sunset? Why?: Sunset, because I'm never awake for sunrise. A childhood memory in regards to music: I remember saving up to buy Graduation by Kanye West and listening to that shit front to back for weeks straight. Favourite Place to be: Probably on an island.

Thanks for that, so let's start by asking what inspires you to produce and not only produce but continually produce, what to me is an array of tunes fitting so many genres?

Do you have a set of goals in place when you release a track or do you just hit upload and just hope people are feeling your sound?

What I like to listen to is constantly changing so I like to challenge myself to try and make the things that I'm inspired by.

I like to think that you never know what you're gonna get when you listen to my music but I've still got so much to learn and experiment with. I just try have fun with it and not think about it too much.

How long have you been producing music, and what did you find was hardest to get the hang of when it first came to producing beats?

I had no music theory knowledge or anything when I started making beats (I still don't have much) so there was a lot to learn right away.

Probably the hardest thing that I still battle with is knowing what you should release, what you shouldn't etc. It's hard to balance knowing when something is finished and when it still needs work.

Could you give a quick run-through of the process you follow when it comes to making a beat?

I try to change my process as much as I can to keep things fresh and fun for myself. But I really enjoy hearing a sample somewhere like keys, a quote or a rapper I want to remix, then I start working with that piece and see where it goes.

I'll mess around with the beat for a while and sometimes a track comes out. It can take one day, it can take months. Just depends.

Oldies are always goodies in my books and I have to mention your "bumps from 2014" mixtape, it truly is something special.

What inspired those little bumps? What were you doing back then? Also, can you remember the mood you were in when you made them?

I'm glad you like it haha. That was when I really had no clue what I was doing in terms of making beats, I was making all of those 'off the grid' in Ableton so I was placing drums in random places, I had no idea what bpm the samples were or anything. I really didn't know wtf I was doing, just going off of a vibe. 

My mood was really just being excited about making music, I was living in the basement at my mum's house blasting beats on the speakers all day.

[bumps from 2014] - https://soundcloud.com/sleepgodd/bumps-from-2014

You are also a rapper. My favourite NZ rapper to be more precise so thank you for the vibes you create. How did you find out you had it in you to rap and how old were you?

Damn, I appreciate that ✌️ I started rapping with a friend of mine, Jesse aka j cafe when we were around 20. We'd sit in my room smoking weed, and free-styling over beats on Soundcloud all night. 

Then we decided to make a track, so we found a beat and jumped in the closet to record some vocals on the laptop microphone.

We put it up on Soundcloud and I've been addicted to making music ever since.

Link to j cafe’s Soundcloud here - https://soundcloud.com/j-cafe

Cover art for Jetson’s 2019 rap release - bluntscraps

Album cover art by Takuroh Toyama

When did you first start rapping in front of others? What did it feel like in the beginning compared to now when you perform live?

I was insanely nervous the first time I ever did anything live and that feeling really hasn't left me lol.

Except now I know how to deal with nerves a bit better and actually enjoy the whole experience of doing something live.

I definitely think I'm a lot better now than my first time doing it, but I still kinda suck 😂 Staying on topic with your rapping, material-wise you have mad skills, your music is forever helping me chill out so thank you.

When did you start writing down your words and turning them into structured songs? Do you have any other artists that inspire your writing style?

When I was younger I really liked the flow of rappers rather than what they were actually saying.

Dudes like MF Doom and Earl Sweatshirt really influenced me at the start wanting to come up with lines that were catchy and different.

To form an actual track I usually just mumble over beats to get the flow, then I start placing words in the spots where I think they fit.

Does your family know you make music? If so what do they think of it, any dance parties in the Jetson Family Household? 

My immediate family all know and support my music. My mum used to have one of my tracks as her ringtone for years lol.

No jetson dance parties yet, but seems like every year more people in my extended family know about my music.

You were also a member of NZ Duo, Chill Children of which you rap and produce with yet another kiwi talent, both having low-key approaches when it comes to presenting yourselves through social media. What happened with that?

Me and J Cafe started Chill Children as a rap project in the early days but we moved to different places in the world and started doing our own solo projects so things sort of stopped happening with it.

I still credit those times with really getting me started on music though. He's still making dope shit and we'll probably link up on a track soon.

So then it became a sort of collective community, and through your Chill Children Soundcloud, you allow a platform for other artists to have their music heard.

Much Love on the concept, What inspired you to start sharing other artists music and what keeps you sharing? I'm very grateful btw, too many gems.

I work on music a lot with my friend emo the optimist (aka kodama) and we always wanted to run a label/collective kind of thing so we could release music from artists that we really liked.

After me and Jesse started doing our own thing, Chill Children seemed like the perfect place to start doing that.

It's one of my favorite things to work on as we have a hand in working with the artists on every release. I just love that we're able to share so much music that we really like with the world.

Check Chill Children here -

Bandcamp - https://chillchildren.bandcamp.com/

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/chillchildren

Instagram - @chillchildren

Any new Chill Children material we should keep an eye out for?

We always have new music from new artists dropping so definitely follow our instagram/twitter if you want to stay updated on it.

We're currently working on a phonk compilation with guys like DJ Yung Vamp, Genshin etc. It's gonna be crazy 🤯

Back to your solo releases through your alias Jetson. What made you want to start putting out your material alone? Also, do you have a favourite Jetson release?

I really felt like I had to release music solo to see what I could do.

I've learned so much about myself through that process, became more confident and a better musician.

Probably my favorite rap track I've made is called 'Escape'.

Not many people have heard it but it's on Spotify and other places.

My favorite beat I've made is probably 'dylan rieder'.

Have to ask, are you working on any new releases we should keep an ear out for? If so, what can we expect with your coming releases?

I just released an album on Bandcamp called THROWED TAPES which was really influenced by DJ screw and other phonk producers.

I'm working on a lofi R&B tape for Bandcamp, a lofi beat tape, and I really want to release a rap EP.

Who knows when those will come out though haha

Taking it back a little to your rapping again I have to mention "Milk". What inspires the words in this track?

Also please share the story behind your track "Melancholy"? The words are somewhat mesmerizing, thank you!

With milk, I just heard the beat from bsd.u and really wanted to make something weird that just followed the flow of the beat.

On melancholy I tried to think about what I was saying a little more. The instrumental is so introspective and smooth I knew I had to come correct on it.

THROWED TAPES By Jetson, released August, 27, 2020

Musical Recommendations?

junyii - emo the optimist - knxwledge - j cafe - jesse james solomon - the smiths - dj yung vamp - shuggie otis - hm surf - alicks - MIKE - baccyard - meraki soul - steve hiett I could go on for days though lol

Creatives to keep an eye out for in music and art? Takuroh Toyama (photography) Moebius (visual art) Steve Hiett (photography/music) Any Last Words?

It really trips me out that people enjoy something I love to do so much.

So just thank you for vibing with me, I have a lot more to share ✌️

Support Jetson here -

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/highimjetson

Bandcamp - https://jetsonbumps.bandcamp.com/

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/2bkf2PmiVyfCqg2uzIFIqJ

Twitter - https://twitter.com/jetsonbumps

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jetsonn/?hl=en

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Milk by Jetson (Production by bsd.u)

[juupajaa]

Hi there 👋 can you tell us some of your favorite expressions in different languages? I saw your comment about not having the word "obviously" in Finnish and I'm curious what are your other favorite words/phrases like that! Thanks love, you're the best 🙏♥️

Hi! You sparked a massive rant from me and now you gotta deal with it. Here's a bit about English and how different it is from Finnish (which is my native tongue).

Yall have the smoothest "matter of fact" language and I can't get over how proper and assertive English is and often I'd rather use English when I'm talking in my day to day. I also suffer a lot with "Oh g0D I know exactly what this English word means but what is it in Finnish???" which is rather common these days among the younger generations.

When I try to talk formally in Finnish I sound like a bitch and every Finnish person will look at me like I am a bitch. The only time "proper" Finnish is acceptable is when the president is giving a speech and even then we really have to focus in order to understand what the hell he's saying. I have been in court and even there the proper Finnish is sometimes out of place.

In lots of ways Finnish is still a very nature/simple life oriented language and we have a lot of loan words from other languages such as Swedish and English. Very basic words like "context" and "diagonal" do not always exist in Finnish, so we just kinda took them from yall and made them sound Finnish, "konteksti" and "diagonaali". If you'd strip Finnish from all these loan words, you'd end up with a language that mostly deals with agriculture, nature and matters of the heart, and not a single word of bureaucracy, industry, intellectualism, barely even enlightenment. There's actually some concern over the increasing amount of loaned words. Especially among the youth, loaned words are starting to replace purely Finnish words. One example: "miss out on something" would be roughly translated to "jäädä paitsi jostakin" but it's becoming more and more common to say "missata jotakin". I use the verb "missata" quite often and I don't even remember when I would have last used "jäädä paitsi", simply because it's so much easier to just say "missata".

So with like half of our vocabulary being loaned from other languages, the Finnish language has very distinct tones that we use in different situations. This goes for most languages, but in Finnish it truly feels like there's several different versions of the language that you have to learn. In addition to words that are confined into one tone only, there are integral words like "I" that have different spellings depending on what tone you're using. "I" for example turns from formal "minä" to a casual "mä". Lets have an example sentence "I don't know". Formal: "Minä en tiedä". Casual: "Mä en tiiä" Both are correct, but the other is official and other is practical. There's even a poetic version: "Tiedä en". You would never use it in your day to day, but it is perfectly correct in a poetic setting. So here are our tones:

Poetic, which mostly uses true Finnish words and it sounds dramatic and beautiful, but it can't be used seriously in daily conversations, only in art forms or sometimes if you're talking with a lot of passion. For example, "suvi" means summer, but this word is only used in poetic Finnish. The casual/formal word for summer is "kesä". They literally mean the same thing, but you can only use "suvi" in poetic Finnish.

Casual, which is what we speak and write most of the time. This tone is quick and practical, but not grammatically correct or official. We literally call it "speech language" because it is accepted as the norm, but you would never use it while writing an email to your boss, filling out official forms, writing essays/books and so on. Lately casual Finnish has become part of the art world tho, but it's still very different from poetic Finnish.

Proper/formal Finnish or "book language" as we call it. This is the tone you use when casual Finnish isn't acceptable. This is usually only used in written form and very very rarely in speech. As I said, even in court, which is about as serious and official as you can get, formal speech can feel out of place. In my case, the judge only used it when she was making a statement, but generally she used casual Finnish when taking part in the conversation.

But wow I wrote all this and I haven't even answered the question. I'm sorry I don't have a lot of these words ready on command, but here are some more examples I could come up with.

Words I wish I could find the same impact or nuance in Finnish:

carbon/coal (we use the same word for these two)

gender/sex (same thing as above)

ignore

procrastination

actually

fantastic

stuff (noun)

condescending

feed (in social media, such as your Twitter feed. We say "fiidi" but it isn't a true loaned word, it's straight up English in the middle of a Finnish sentence.)

Some Finnish words I suffer with because the nuances are lost in translation:

taulu (a painting, except it means ALL framed (or unframed) pictures, painted or otherwise. Basically if it's flat and you put it on display on a wall, it's a taulu)

tarjeta (this verb is impossibly hard to translate but basically "to be content with/to be able to bear the current temperature of the weather". "Ei täällä tarkene" would mean "it's too cold in here/I'm not ok with this (cold) temperature")

puuhailla (again, a terribly difficult verb to translate, but basically "to do something unspecified" This word has a very lighthearted tone to it and I love it so much. I remember an amusement park from my childhood called Puuhamaa, which would be translated as "the land of doing stuff")

I wouldn't be a true finn if I didn't add "sisu" to this list (it means endurance/willpower. For example, someone who can stay a long time out in the snow and cold without complaining about it has a lot of "sisu"

pakkanen (temperature that is below 0°C. Our version of Jack Frost is "Pakkas-ukko" which literally means "a cold weather dude"

A cool fact u can drop at a dinner party: the Finnish language has about a hundred words for different types of snow and ice 😎