#but pretty much it'll just be a dumping ground for my shit

[curruff]

To be honest, I don't really know what I'm going to do with this blog. I have some ideas, but for the most part I just kinda wanted to make one just because. It is pretty interesting seeing how my feed adapts on a brand new social media account tho, and man did it fill up with furry art fast

[imtotallyokandnormal]

》☆Proxy Info!☆《

Sooo because I felt like dumping all of my brainrot in one place I'm gonna talk about the personalities of some of the creeps in my au!

Sorry in advance for how long these are, I put em under the cut so you can save yourself the scrolling.

(Links to images in titles and dividers by this person!)

》☆Jeff the Killer☆《

Basic info:

Full name: Jeffrey Hodek Woods

Age: 21

Pronouns: he/him (according to him, "I dunno, the guy ones I guess?")

Gender identity: Male

Orientations: Bisexual, demiromantic (openly bi but doesn't know what being demiromantic is)

Height: 6'0"

Likes: Slipknot, spicy food, dogs (cats too but only sometimes), horror and action movies, cartoons from his childhood, being annoying on purpose, working out.

Dislikes: Being touched without asking, complete silence, people with all bark and no bite, weird smells (especially strong chemical smells).

Extra: Jeff is Italian-American, as an homage to the original Jeff Hodek :>

Personality info:

Due to a rough childhood AND generally just being pretty fucked over by life, Jeff has a habit of acting reallyyyy tough and cocky. He doesn't like to sugarcoat things often, so he sometimes comes off as overly blunt.

He carries himself as a very confident guy, someone who will usually say what's on his mind whether people like it or not. This doesn't NECESSARILY mean he's a bully about it, but it doesn't mean he's always thinking about the nicest way to phrase things. Obviously this means he'll often speak his mind when it's COMPLETELY not a good idea, and he will often be stubborn about standing his ground.

He can have strong opinions on things, just for the sake of having strong opinions. He will die on a hill just to prove himself right. The Operator kinda fucking hates him honestly dgjudgdgiohf

Despite his brazen nature, he can be fairly friendly and fun to be around once you get to know him. He's spontaneous and very passionate when he gets into the spirit of something. When he sets his mind so something he goes barreling for it at full speed.

He's also INCREDIBLY loyal, like if he's decided he likes someone it'll be hard to make him dislike them. He's got your back, no questions, no caveats. He's kinda like a guard dog when he's friends with someone, like as soon as he hears someone shit-talking them he's ready to fucking throw down.

He's also very smart, quick on his feet with things and has a very good sense of logic. He might not have a specific field he's especially focused in like EJ, but as far as pure logic goes he's one of the smarter proxies in the manor. That's why The Operator bothers to keep him around, because otherwise it'd probably dispose of him just because it finds him annoying 😭😭😭

Appearance info:

Instead of only fire-related burn scars (which he still has a lot of), Jeff also has a lot of chemical burns, and healed scars of varying sizes all over his body. His smile cuts are healed, but are the most obvious cuts on his body. His body/face aren't white, but are instead his natural skin tone (kind of a warm beige, obviously varies in his scars). He also doesn't have a fully reconstructed nose, like he has kind of a bridge but it doesn't look like his original nose.

He's got a kinda sexy biker/emo band member aesthetic going on, like band tees cut into tank tops and black cargo pants are his go-tos. He also likes to wear regular tank tops that fit him snugly because he's a little bit of a show-off and likes to flaunt his muscles. He doesn't usually accessorize way too much, he usually just has a belt and spikey/studded wrist cuffs, probably some leather fingerless gloves too. When he's not wearing a hooded jacket-flannel combo he has a beat up leather jacket on. He obviously wears converse cuz he's emo but also big chunky combat boots that add almost 2 inches to his already towering height. Definition of unnecessary intimidation. He's also got piercings! Both ear and facial ones because he's hot. Definitely some tattoos too.

He has long thick hair that he dyes black (fucking emo I'm telling you) and it has tons of choppy layers that he cuts himself. He usually either keeps it down or throws it up in a ponytail (it looks a little like a big spiky pom-pom :3). He likes to experiment with his hair, he tends to just change his hairstyle on a whim if he's bored (keep him away from the kitchen scissors for the love of god he always uses the worst tools for cutting his hair). His hair tends to just naturally be messy so he doesn't usually put product in it.

As for makeup and nails, he somehow does so little and it enhances so much. All he does is put some black eyeshadow right around his eyes, rubs it around and boom, done. His nails are also painted black usually, and almost always chipped.

》☆BEN Drowned☆《

Basic info:

Full name: Benjamin Jacob Lawman

Age: 14 (does not age past this due to being dead)

Pronouns: he/they ("they is fine too I guess" *secret gender feelings unlocked*)

Gender identity: Male (...? He'll figure it out later)

Orientations: Does not know, does not care ("if someone's hot then they're hot I dunno- can I get back to my minecraft build now?")

Height: 4'2"

Likes: Video games, especially the LoZ games (who would've guessed), anything related to internet horror, hanging out with the older proxies, junk food, EDM, animals, bugs and tardigrades.

Dislikes: Being bossed around, comments about how young he is, valley girl accents, being alone too much, baths and pools.

Extra: Ben wanted to be a limnologist when he was still alive.

Personality info:

Now Ben is a 14 year old boy, not just for a year but for all of eternity as he knows it. He's not exactly gonna be HAPPY about this fact, because he still has some leftover young teenager angst to work through. Part of that angst includes not being taken seriously by everyone else in the manor because he's wayyy younger than everyone else.

To combat this Ben tends to try and copy mannerisms he sees in the "cooler" proxies (mainly Jeff since he's closest with him), so he tends to act sarcastic and snarky when in front of adults.

He's impulsive, especially if how he's perceived by others is on the line, so he's definitely doing dumb shit with the older proxies to make them think he's cool like racing stolen shopping carts or attempting (and failing) to prank The Operator, which just gets him in trouble.

He tends to keep to himself unless he's around people he's friends with, preferring to play video games and not having to interact with people. To him, it's better to just stay inside and distract himself than go out and let people comment on how young he is constantly.

There are parts of him that still remain from when he was alive, though. These traits especially come out around Sally, who he sees as a little sister. He understands how much it sucks to be dead so young, so he doesn't want it to suck as much for her.

He's patient with her if she can't figure out certain things, and tries to explain it in ways she'd understand. He's almost like a teacher in the way he does it, like he starts broad and narrows it down little by little until she gets it. This is how he teaches her things like ecology (one of his favorite science subjects by the way).

He's also good at telling how people are feeling, how people act if they feel certain ways. He's good at recognizing those kinds of patterns, and while he doesn't always openly try to help he tends to do it in more quiet ways. If you receive an anonymous candy bar at your door with a little sticky note on it saying "get better soon, dum-dum" no you didn't.

Also he doesn't mind being made fun of for his height as much as he minds the age thing, and often likes to use it to his advantage by climbing on people if they try to be comedians about it.

Appearance info:

To nobody's surprise, Ben loves the LoZ games, so obviously if he has the ability to cosplay Link all the time every day he's gonna take it. Ghosts can kind of shapeshift in a way if they're in their incorporeal state, so he absolutely goes apeshit. He gave himself the long blonde hair and the big ol elf ears and one of the cool Link outfits, but upon realizing he'd be picked on for his appearance he later he decides to abandon the outfit and switch to "cooler clothes." He also gave himself the bleeding black and red eyes because he thought it looked badass.

Clothing style? 90s teenage dirtbag mixed with gamer bro that hasn't seen the sun in ages. Big baggy pants with a big baggy LoZ shirt and a neutral colored flannel (probably has holes in it) is his default outfit, but also regular sweats and a t-shirt works just fine. Everything he owns is in a desaturated earthy color scheme, especially green because of fucking course. If it's not a variation of green, beige or brown it's probably black because he's gotta subtly let himself cosplay Link if he can't have the full Link outfit. He usually wears converse or vans, and pairs them with the weirdest funky mismatched socks you've ever seen in your life. Usually wears a beanie to compensate for the Link hat but sometimes he feels comfortable enough wearing it around his friends.

His hair is grown out and also kinda messy, but that isn't on purpose he just genuinely doesn't bother styling it most of the time. If he does do something with it it's a half up half down kinda deal, and the ponytail part is very small because some parts of his hair aren't the same lengths (unintentional layering basically). He has bangs and two long framing pieces, always sticking up and sideways every-which-way. Only ever lets Jeff or Nina touch his hair to style it because those two are basically his siblings, plus he knows they won't fuck him up on purpose.

He does let Nina paint his nails and dress him up sometimes but he absolutely does not want ANY makeup on his face....unless Sally is doing it but NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT.

》☆Toby Rogers☆《

Basic info:

Full name: Toby Erin Rogers

Age: 20

Pronouns: he/they (*Thinks about it for a good 20 seconds as if he's only just considered this now* "Ehhhhhh...yeah- but also no.")

Gender identity: Demigender/demiboy ("Not like a guy, but guy...adjacent, I guess?")

Orientations: Pansexual, panromantic (calls himself gay for the funnies, but also because he is very gay)

Height: 5'8"

Likes: Playing guitar (he plays acoustic guitar specifically), doing dumb shit with his friends, going on walks in the forest, anything midwest emo.

Dislikes: People assuming he's weak/stupid, sudden loud noises, chalk, alcohol, being unable to help people he cares about.

Extra: Toby can fit about two packages worth of peeps in his mouth at once.

Personality info:

Toby has been through SHIT, even before becoming one of the proxies. He's been bullied for shit he couldn't control his whole life and has been isolated from the world just to get away from being constantly ridiculed (not to mention the abuse and death of the only person he could fully trust), so I think he'd actually like being around people that'd understand him in that way.

He's a lot more open around the proxies because at least THESE people could understand feeling outcasted, right? So even though it takes a while (quite a long while, had to learn he could trust the others first), he eventually lets himself be the goofy, impulsive, free kid he never really got to be.

When you get to know him and he knows he can trust you, he's really fucking considerate. Honestly probably the MOST considerate person in The Manor, like as much as he jokes around he genuinely cares deeply about the friends he has and he can be SO sweet. He's also very loyal, a little bit of a guard dog like Jeff but he's just a TINY bit more subtle about it.

He's the FUNNIEST person in the room, like he can make a joke out of almost any situation and he incorporates his awkwardness to enhance the humor. He's definitely gotten a little better about his awkward tendencies since first starting as a proxy, but sometimes he slips up on a social cue or something and he's generally able to be lighthearted about it. He does tend to crack jokes about his tics, especially if they happen with good comedic timing.

But make no mistake, as great as he is, he is so deeply, internally so filled with ready-to-go rage. As soon as his friends are fucked with it's almost like flipping a switch. He IS one of The Operator's top proxies for a reason, and he will show you said reasons. His anger starts quiet, a glare at whoever pissed him off, a tight grip on their shoulder or wrist. From there, if he's provoked further, he's not holding shit back.

He also has deep and complicated issues with trust, to the point that at times he's scared of trusting his own friends. He doesn't like being unable to trust people he cares about, especially since most of them are pretty much his family now. But for him sometimes it's hard not to be paranoid.

When this happens, or he feels any kind of overwhelming emotion, he tends to isolate himself until it passes. His tics tend to get worse when he's feeling a ton of stress, especially his motor tics, so he prefers riding them out in private. As much as the others tend to be perfectly chill about his tics, sometimes he prefers to just be alone if he can help it.

Appearance info:

Toby's still got his cheek gash in this au, but he's also got a bunch of other knicks and bruises from various things. Due to his CIPA he tends to bump into things and not notice if they've left a bruise so after a while he just sees it and goes "??? How'd that get there?" Along with that he's got a lil bit of facial hair, not anything that forms like a beard or mustache but enough to be kinda fuzzy. And BIG dark circles, he does not sleep.

This guy literally has two modes: Literal Marietta Song As A Person, or Slut. No in between. Guy is a walking talking Weezer album, a total Joyce Manor enjoyer. And when he's not that he's all the members of Måneskin at once, for funsies.

No but seriously he does have the aesthetic of literally any image that comes up when you type Midwest Emo on Pinterest most of the time. I'm talking huge grandpa sweaters, sometimes cardigans, earthy colored flannels, t-shirts over long-sleeved shirts, beat up pair of converse (or beat up pair of boots), the works. Similar to Ben, his clothes tend to have earthy tones but definitely incorporate more brown. He also likes to mix it up with orange and dark blue, especially if he has dark blue jeans. A lot of his clothes have patches that he learned to sew on himself (Jane helped him out a little). And any accessories he has are likely things he's gotten from other people, such as a bracelet Sally made or some fingerless gloves Nina doesn't wear anymore. But what about his Slut mode you ask? Look up Damiano David. You'll understand. He has a pair of sexy red cowboy boots hiding in his closet and he's waiting for an excuse to use em.

His hair is literally the cutest grown out mullet you've ever seen in your life, literally so fluffy and it swoops out at his neck. He cut himself some bangs with help from Jeff (more like Jeff forced his help on him because he knew Toby was gonna do it WAY too short). He likes to fluff it up with some hair mousse and sometimes uses one of Nina's many curling and straightening irons to really add volume.

Toby likes having his nails painted by OTHER people rather than himself so he lets Sally or Nina or Jeff paint them for him. He likes to try out different colors, he really just lets em go crazy. For makeup he usually doesn't wear any, but occasionally he'll let Nina give him a makeover to practice new makeup looks on him. He always looks hot afterwards (thought he was hot before too).

》☆Sally Williams☆《

Basic info:

Name: Sally Maryam Williams

Age: 8 (does not age past this due to being dead)

Pronouns: she/her ("Oh! Ben and Nina taught me about this!")

Gender identity: Female

Orientations: Does not know, just loves everybody ("Uhm- well girls are really pretty- but boys are pretty too! Everyone's pretty!- oh, except for Ben." *mischievous smirk*)

Height: 3'9"

Likes: Ben and Nina, creative activities (like painting or making crafts), reading books, collecting various objects, dressing up, cats, visiting cemeteries.

Dislikes: Unfamiliar people (especially men), losing things, being alone, having her hair touched/brushed (unless Ben/Nina), yelling.

Personality info:

Despite everything that Sally has gone through, she is an incredibly joyful, optimistic kind of kid at heart. She makes her own happiness as a way to keep herself feeling safe, and her efforts spread to other people in the manor.

She's generally friendly to everyone in the manor but won't outright go talk to anyone by herself unless it's Ben or Nina. Those two are the only people she fully trusts being alone around, so she'll usually be following or pulling one of those two along. She is very extroverted and gets most of her energy from being around others, but she needs a little encouragement when spending time with people she's not familiar with.

Once she does know you and trust you enough though, expect her to chat your ear off and ask you to do things with her. Once you're her friend she'll treat you like she's known you her whole life. She's really sweet and likes to give people gifts, especially stuff she makes herself. She's also the type to get into mischief with you (as long as Ben gets to go too of course). She's very talkative and asks everyone how their day's been, because she's genuinely curious.

Adding onto that, she loves to learn things, like anything that has information will probably pique her interest. She tends to ask people questions, anything that she thinks they might know (Ben might have to pull her away once the other person's tired of answering, she's just got a lot of things to ask).

Although she's a very sweet girl and loves being around people, she can clam up very easily if she's faced with something that scares her. Not a lot of things get to her, but one big thing that immediately gets her panicked is getting lost or being left alone (specifically if she doesn't know someone's nearby, she's usually fine in her room by herself). Once she realizes she's away from someone familiar she's quick to get panicked. Depending on the circumstances she might run away or try to fight off people trying to help her. While this is rare, it does happen.

Similar to Toby, she has trouble processing big emotions. For her, anger and fear are really hard for her to control, so she tends to run away and isolate herself when she feels they're getting too strong for her to handle. Being a ghost, sometimes her handle on her physical form gets harder to maintain when she's upset, so she'll most likely be incorporeal when she's dealing with really rough things. She hates feeling these things, she doesn't like having people see her like that, which just makes her feel ashamed of herself afterwards.

Luckily, Nina is especially patient with her when this happens, so after she's calmed down enough she'll go to Nina to decompress. She's really glad to have someone help her and love her, she's so grateful she has family to fall back on.

Appearance info:

Since Sally's a ghost and can basically customize herself, she usually makes herself look like a version of herself when she was alive. The only differences would be things she wished she had when she was alive, like long hair down to her knees and eyes that change color with her emotions (because who DIDN'T want that as a kid). Depending on the day she might change little things for fun, like giving herself cat ears or a unicorn horn. She doesn't have the focus or energy for making big changes (otherwise she'd always be looking like a magical girl with a rainbow color pallette and angel wings).

She LOVES having all sorts of clothes and dressing up because it lets her express how she feels and what she likes. Her clothes are usually very girly, ranging from princess dresses to jumpers to monster high and barbie t-shirts to every kind of skirt known to man. Though sometimes she likes to sort of copy Ben's style, wearing overalls over an mlp shirt and a flannel and beanie to pull it all together. Honestly if she likes you or thinks you're cool she'll try to dress like you at least once.

The only consistency with Sally's hair is that it's almost always long, otherwise she goes nuts styling it different ways. Her and Nina are always doing cute hairdos, Nina helps her braid it or do pigtails or whatever Sally feels like. She loves doing different bang styles, she's always got those lil kids scissors with her in case she wants to chop herself some bangs (it's ok she'll get better at it). Basically it changes depending on how she's feeling, just like her clothing styles.

ACCESSORIZES TO THE MOON SHE LOVES ACCESSORIES ABD SHE INTENDS ON USING AS MANY AS POSSIBLE. Makeup and nails? Obviously! She often likes to do it with Nina in the mornings. Don't forget colorful clip in hair extentions too! Her closet is full of as many things she can get her hands on and she couldn't be happier about it.

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the russian boy//part two

warnings: alcohol usage, underage drinking, marijuana usage, and swearing

not proof read!

part two: boris’s house

after about twenty minutes of driving and answering boris's questions about new orleans, we finally turn into his driveway. i look up and notice i can see my own house, just two doors down from his. damn he does live close to me. i suddenly remember that i have to give my mom our car keys so she can go...do whatever, i honestly don't wanna know what she does during the night. "can you actually pull into that driveway,", i say pointing to my house, "it's mine and i need to give the car keys to my mom.". boris nods and backs out of his driveway, and parks into mine. "i'll just be a second.", i say grabbing the keys out of the ignition, "won't your mom be mad you skip last period new girl?", boris says looking suspiciously at me. how can i explain this to him without sounding like a whiny, trauma dumping, little kid. i'll make a joke out of it, easy and simple. "she's probably just waking up, she was pretty trashed the last..well few nights.", i say with a huge smile and small chuckle. to my suprise, he laughs at this. "ha! sounds like my dad and your mom have a lot in common, eh?", he says opening his car door, before walking around to open mine. thank God he didn't do some, "oh i'm so sorry your life is like that", speech. i laugh back, "maybe, does your dad go through a bottle of tito's every night?", i say still giggling. this makes him let out a sharp quick laugh, "HA! try two! he gets so drunk he cannot use feet!", he says holding up two fingers on his hand, then pointing to his feet. "shit yeah! my mom had to see a doctor once cause she had some weird nerve things going on in her feet from drinking.", i say thinking back to the time my mom had to go to physical therapy for a month just to learn how to use her feet again. "yes yes! my dad too. it was honestly little funny.", he says with a smirk. alright this boy is just trying to be sexy with the broken english and the accent. i don't know why but it's so fucking attractive. he holds out his hand to me, and i take it jumping out of the car. "i'll be back in like 2 minutes!", i say jogging towards my front door. i open my door and see my mom still sleeping on the couch. i go over to her and gently nudge her awake. "mom.", i whisper as she opens her eyes. i jingle the keys at her, "i'm home, the trucks all yours.", i toss the keys onto the coffee table by the couch. "thank you sweetie, was school okay?", she says in a raspy voice, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "yea yea, it was fine. i'm gonna go hangout with some kids i met, they live just down the street.", i say still whispering , so that i dont hurt her head from the killer hangover im sure she has. "ok hon, well last night i called around, and i found a job waitressing at a restaurant on the strip. im supposed to go in at 6pm for my first shift, so i should go take a shower and wake up.", she says sitting up and trying to cover the vodka bottle on the floor with a blanket, "i'll probably be gone all night, those restaurants on the strip are open 24 hours and i want the longest shift i can take, to start making some more money." i feel proud of her. im glad she found a job so fast, maybe it'll help since she won't have as much free time to drink. "good shit mom, i'm proud of you, i'll figure something out for dinner, i think we still have those microwave mac and cheeses in one of these box's.", i say hugging her and examining the boxes on the floor. she smiles at me and looks at the boxes on the ground, "we can start unpacking these boxes this weekend, ok? now go hangout with your friends lucy bug," she sniffs me as we both break away from the hug, "and don't smoke in this house ok? you smell like snoop dogg's bed room.", she's says giving me a quick smile. "i won't mom, love you!", i say turning away and walking towards the door. "love you too hon!", she calls out back to me as she walks begins walking upstairs to get in the shower. i open the front door and see boris leaning against my car smoking a cigarette.

i walk up to him and hold my fingers out as he passes it to me. i take a long drag and exhale then give it back to him. "let's go.", he says smiling and waving at me to follow as he begins walking to his house. i follow him and realize his car still isn't in his driveway.

"where's theo?", i ask as we approach his front door. "hmm, probably getting popchyk.", he says struggling to get his door open, it looks like it's been slammed too many times, and has started to jam on the door frame. what in the fuck is a "popchyk". is it like...you know what, i'm stumped, i have idea as to what that could be. i decide to voice my thoughts. "sorry but what is a "popchyk"?", i say with genuine confusion as he finally gets the door to open and leads me inside. "it is like..eh how you say,...dog? yes, it is dog.", he says, his face twisting as he tried to find the word. what kind of name is that. nevermind, im not about to question the dogs name. he takes my book bag as i walk into his house, and tosses it on the ground, before doing the same to his. his house looks bare, almost as bare as mine is. honestly his house layout looks really similar to mine, i guess this is the kind of neighborhood where the houses look just as alike on the inside as they do on the outside. he makes his way over to the fridge and opens it to expose empty shelves. well, almost empty. there's a pack of beers, two large bottles of Smirnoff vodka, and a few to-go chinese food containers. "beer or vodka new girl?", he says grabbing a beer for himself. i honestly want the vodka, but if he's drinking a beer, i will too i guess. "beers fine, thanks.", i say holding my hand out. he opens the beer bottle with his teeth, spits out the cap, and hands it to me. "impressive.", i say noding my head and looking at my open beer. "it's easy when you know how to do without chipping teeth.", he says smiling, as he takes a sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving me.

i take a sip of my beer, and jump when i hear the door slamming open letting a high pitched bark ring through the house. "go popchyk! go see your daddy!", i hear theo say call from the entrance room laughing. boris gets on his knees and in comes fly a small white dog through the kitchen directly to boris. this dog is fugly. he looks like maybe he's a maltase, but his fur is so dirty and knotted that he looks more like a tumble weed that blew in from the yard. boris scoops him up in the arm that his beer is not in, as the dog lays kisses on his cheek. "ohhh who is a good popchyk? you are good popchyk! new girl, come meet him!", boris says as he puts down his beer and rubs his head. i walk towards boris and hold out my hand for "popchyk"(still confused about that name btw) to smell. now that im closer to this dog, he's kinda cute. he's not cute in like a, "aww that puppy is so beautiful!", kind of way but more in a, "that dog is so ugly it's cute.", kind of way. popchyk smells my hand and lets me scratch his head, "he's so cute!", i say after popchyk barks at me to signal he wants more scratch's. boris laughs, "no no, popchyk is ugly, i will admit this, but he has personality! not a lot of dogs have good personality,eh?", boris says nodding at me and picking his beer back up. i laugh, "ok he's definitely not the cutest dog, but he's so funny looking that he's cute you know?",i say turning my head to the side inspecting the dog. "exactly! don't say in front of potter though, he thinks popchyk is cutest dog ever.", boris says smiling and lowering his voice as theo approaches the kitchen. i smile and make a "my lips are sealed" motion. theo reaches the kitchen and looks at our drinks, "fuck no, we're drinking heavy tonight, that physics test kicked my ass.", he says opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of the vodka. he walks right by us and starts going up the stairs. he stops on the third step and looks back at us, "are you two coming?", he says waving the bottle at us. boris and i look at each other, put our beers down, and follow theo. we all end up on the floor of what i assume to be boris's room. his wall has a russian flag on the wall, and white Christmas lights strung all across his room. honestly my first day in Las Vegas really isn't so bad at all, these kids are pretty cool. we take turns passing the bottle around, giggling, and getting decently drunk. boris interrupts theo's drunken rambling, "i'm hungry", he says falling to his back. theo gasps, "bor food sounds so good right now.", he says laying a hand on boris's stomach and looking at him like boris is the smartest person on the planet.

we're all definitely too drunk to drive anywhere for food, and from the looks of boris's fridge the only thing he has is week old white rice. i get up and wobble for a second before i gain my balance, "i have mac and cheese!", i say slurring and holding up my index finger. the boys both shoot up so quick to their feet they almost fall backwards, which causes all of us to let out a long hysterical laugh. "follow me!", i slur, too drunk to care that i took both of their hands in mine. "popchyk come-on!", i call out to the dog who had been laying on boris's bed, he gets up and follows us down the stairs. i check to make sure the truck isn't in my driveway still, and i lead them over to my house. we stumble the whole way over drunkenly laughing, and falling more than a few times. we finally managed to make it inside the house, popchyk still following us. i take them to the living room, which is basically in the same room as my kitchen(there's no wall separating the two rooms) , and sit them down on the couch. i start digging through boxes until i find a box of mac and cheese. bingo. i'm about to close the box back up, when i see my purse that i had somehow forgotten about. i pick it up and look inside, hoping to find some loose money, but instead i find my weed pen almost completely full. i turn my head sideways. how did i forget about this? i must've just been so damn busy with the move it slipped my mind. i grab the pen out of my purse and run towards the boys. i stop in front of the couch as they sit laughing about something. they notice me standing there and look up at me, "lookey what i foundddd", i say holding up the mac and cheese in one hand and my pen in the other. "YES", theo says jumping up from the couch, as boris looks excitedly at the items in my hand. i take a hit from my pen and toss it to the boys. i start walking towards the kitchen as i hear them both laughing and coughing violently. i make the mac and cheese, at one point hearing boris say , "new girl has good weed.", which makes me giggle. when im done making the food i go to get bowls, only to realize the only silverware we have unpacked is a box of plastic spoons and knives. i laugh as i pick up the pot of mac and cheese and three spoons and walk towards the couch, "alright boys, we haven't unpacked any of the plates or bowls yet, so it looks like we're dinning family style tonight.", i say plopping down on the floor. the boys get off the couch, boris sits down next to me, and theo sits across from us. i put the pot of mac and cheese in the middle and hand them their spoons. we all sit silently stuffing our faces with the food. from what i can tell none of us have eaten today.

after we finish our food, i feel like im starting to sober up. i grab the pot from the floor and place it into the sink, before checking my phone and realizing its already 10pm. how has the time gone by so quick? we must have been in boris’s room drinking for longer than i thought we were. i head back into the living room and sit back down next to boris. “you wanna to swim?”, says theo looking at boris. boris looks at me, “if new girl comes with.”, he says smirking at me. “i don’t know, im not a good swimmer at all, and i have no idea which box my swimsuits are in.”, i say trying to think of something else we can do. “just wear bra and underwear, eh?”, boris says looking confused. i lift one eyebrow at him curiously. “not anything weird, is like…what’s the word…bikini, yes? potter and i unusually go in our underwear.”, i look at him and laugh, “that may fix the swimsuit problem, but definitely not the “i can’t swim” problem.”, i say nugding him playfully with my elbow. “i can make sure you don’t drown, i can carry you in deep end.”, he says shrugging. now i know water makes everyone lighter than they are, but im a chubby girl. i wouldn’t say im extremely big, but im definitely not a skinny girl. and this boy, this boy is so damn scrawny. don’t get me wrong, he’s sexy as fuck, but he looks like he would fall over if the wind blew strong enough. i sit and consider his offer for a moment, before he stands up and grabs my hand, “it will be fun, promise.”, he says pulling me up and motioning for theo to stand up. “let’s go, we’ll use my pool.”, boris says leading me out the door. shit ok i guess we’re doing this. “i’m definitely gonna need another drink before i get in that pool.”, theo says as he catches up with us. “i second that.”, i say looking at theo as boris walks up to his driveway, my hand still in his. theo stops for a second, “shit.”, he says before turning to jog back to my house. “what’s he doing?”, i ask boris, but before he can answer we both see theo jogging back out of my house, popchyk in hand. boris and i laugh at the sight of theo out of breath and popchyks ears bouncing up and down as theo carries him. we wait for theo at the door, and go inside when he catches up with us. “i’ll go get drink.”, boris says walking upstairs to his bedroom. theo looks at me, “i promise he’s not trying to be a perv, the first time i met him he made me strip to my tighty Whiteys to go swim. he just really likes the water, i don’t know why.”, theo says beginning to take off his shirt. boris comes back down stairs and waves the bottle at theo and me, “who wants first?”, he says looking at us. i grab the bottle out of his hands and take about 3 shots out of it. as my throat burns and my eyes tear, i hand the bottle to theo, who’s looking at me with large eyes. “ok new girl, you can handle your liquor!”, theo says taking the bottle. like mother like daughter i guess. before i pussy out, i take off my shirt and kick off my leggings. the boys look at me for a split second with awe before removing their clothes, leaving only their boxers. “lets go”, theo says grabbing me by my hand. i grab boris’s hand so that we’re all connected in a drunken line, running towards the open back door. boris, who grabbed the vodka back from theo after theo took his few shots, is chugging it like its water. we make it outside and theo disconnects from my hand, and jumps into the pool, leaving me a boris and me still holding hands. boris looks over at me, “you want?”, he says shaking the vodka bottle. i nod and hold out my free hand for it. “open”, he says using his index finger on his free hand to tap my lips, without thinking, i open my mouth and feel vodka running down my throat. he stops pouring for a second, but continues to when i make a “more” gesture with my hand. when he’s done i look up at him, my cheeks burning red. is it from the alcohol or how fucking sexy that was.

i honestly think a little bit of both. he smiles at me and rubs the vodka running down my chin with his thumb, before licking it so nonchalantly that im not even sure he knows the moves he’s making right now. if i was a betting girl, i’d bet he knows exactly what he’s doing right now. and trust me when i say, two can play that game…

end of part 2, part 3 coming soon!

[88y53]

Maybe I just don't like Zack Snyder movies?

So I'm pretty far into Rebel Moon, and, at the moment, it has failed to really wow me with anything it has to offer.

Is it just me? Am I the problem here?

It's not like I wasn't giving this movie a chance–I was very excited to see a film he had complete and total creative control over... that wasn't Army of the Dead.

I understand that Zack Snyder movies have a lot of themes and metatextual messages. I know this mainly because he very openly talks about it, like a comedian explaining a joke when the audience remains silent after the punchline. And if that fails, he has a veritable army of people–most of whom I'm fairly certain are not astroturf accounts–who will sing from the highest rooftops that yes, indeed, this thing means a thing.

How clever.

This is an issue that I've been noticing with every single one of his movies post 300; they're all saying something meaningful, but in a way that makes it totally meaningless.

300 was a lot like that (to the point that people as still debating whether it can be interpreted as propaganda or not), but it had this raw, over-the-top machismo that gave it a crucial campy edge that made it seem like it was more self-aware than it probably was intended to be.

Pretty much every movie after that–this one included–is trying so hard to be multi-layered that it handicaps itself, turning everything into thematic white noise.

To it's credit, this film does have a surface-level story–The Seven Samurai with the cast of Star Wars–but it's completely smothered under the weight of the subtext. Can this even be called subtext? Having a long horizontal spaceship come out of wormhole in the shape of a vagina doesn't exactly scream "subtle" to me. Maybe we should make up a new term for this–what's the opposite of subtext that isn't just text? Astrotext? Supertext?

I know that Netflix has dreams of this becoming a lucrative franchise, and to that I say three things: "Good. Fucking. Luck."

It's not awful, it's just... not very interesting. There are these flash-in-the-pan moments that work and seriously threaten keep my attention, but they don't gel together into anything that keeps the crucial flow going.

And every character expressing themselves in these awkward, lengthy exposition-dumps also doesn't help. Maybe it's trying to keep within the style of Akira Kurosawa–I wouldn't know, I've never seen The Seven Samurai, and I most likely never will.

Rebel Moon, like most of Snyder's filmography–is either going to really fucking speak to you, or completely leave you cold; it'll all depend on whether you personally relate to the characters or world he's building like an over-excited dungeon master who spent 4 whole days hyper-focusing on this project and just wants one person to say they liked it to make it seem like all the effort was worth it.

"Bitch, we're here to fucking role-play! Not be your fantasy sounding-board!"

The movie didn't start out well for me either. We get a lengthy backstory narrated by Sir Anthony Hopkins (who seems to be willing to be in any movie, these days), and then it shifts to a woman plowing a field with an alien horse before having to dig a large rock out of the ground. And that was precisely the moment where the film lost me: I just couldn't believe that this girl would need to dig that rock out of clearly loose and freshly turned earth.

This is an an edited version, so maybe the director's cut is better. And on that subject I have to ask "did we learn nothing from Batman v Superman or Justice League?" You either let Zack Snyder make the movie exactly how he wants to make it or you get a shit movie. I mean you'd probably still get a shit movie, but at least it would have integrity.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if the film didn't have this subtle off-putting feeling of indulgence that permeates every single fucking frame. I understand you're making the movie you want to make, Mr. Snyder, but if this movie were to be even 1% more self-gratifying there would've been a 40-foot statue of your dick that pisses fire while Rock Me Like A Hurricane plays in the background and F-16s do barrel-rolls overhead.

Maybe 300 was just the one good movie he had in him? It happens. One day you're directing The Sixth Sense, next you're directing The Lady In Water.

According to a recent post in his safespace blog he's sworn off making movies for the "main stream," which is for the best, I suppose. The mainstream has not been particularly kind to him.

I'm certainly not wishing he'd stop making movies–you make all the weird films you possibly got in you, you mad bastard, but I think you're done surprising me.

And, in case you're wondering, no, I probably wouldn't say all of this to his face.

[itsfuckinganne]

12am

Hey, hey. I'm back to debrief just a bit.

track: Supermodel - SZA

So, October.

It's finally getting nice out! Cool 65-70 degrees in the morning and a high of 80-90. That's pretty cool for Las Vegas. This place is heatstroke central. Kinda sad that my tan is going away, though. Anyways, I'm really loving the weather and just being able to sit out in the sun without burning.

The past two weeks of October has been a little hectic for me, lol. Per usual, I'm always working, but I'm taking a semester off of school so I have a lot more free time to myself. It's crazy because I just told my best friend that I feel kinda stupid when I'm not studying because I'm so used to reading books, writing essays, and what not. Now that I have real time for myself...I'm off my usually schedule and I'm still trying to get used to it. I've occupied a lot of my time going to the gym and attempting to stay consistent. I just get so exhausted after work, but I know it'll be worth it so I just think of the end goal and OBVIOUSLY, it motivates me. I've also been spending a lot of time with Hannah and her family. I am in love with their relationship with each other; you can feel the lightheartedness and the love they have for one another. It makes me happy that I've become a part of their family and so has the extensions of me. My favorite, new part of my schedule has been spending SO much time with V. (I have been trying to describe how I feel, but no words can explain this. You can't make this shit up...Ima attempt this). The best way I can really describe it is...funny, I wrote this in a letter I gave him...but it feels like SPRING. It's a season of the weather getting warmer, people start to sit outside in restaurants, and everything feels...refreshing. Like, you just went through the pits of cold air and hoodies, but now you can dress in lighter clothing, sit under the sun and still won't sweat in a jacket, and ground yourself by spending time outside. Leaves look brighter, water tastes more crisp, and you get more sleep. My favorite season, everyone seems happier. I got so emotional today, and yesterday, about the way I feel for V. I can't pin what it is, but I believe it's just a major realization that wow...I am so happy. And guess what? This applies to every aspect of my life. I am just...so happy. So grateful I am supported and loved by people I hold in high regards. It feels like I'm growing in a healthier space because I'm able to do things on my own time. I am so proud of myself for being able to share this part of my life with someone who is so supportive and understanding. It feels so good that I can be able to go to him. I haven't really gone to him about something dire, but it makes me laugh because I don't know how I found myself here, but c'est la vie. He is so kind, to everyone, but he needs to be kinder to himself. I love growing with him because it feels so easy. We work very well together, it's kinda terrifying. Never have I felt a love this strong. I'm so happy to love, and be loved, by you. I might cry again HAHAHA. Got a little sidetracked, but, yeah. I do make time to spend time with just myself. Little things like this, when I debrief, but not really. More like a dump. Or when I gym. Can't really think of it right now. But, yeah, happy Anne.

I'm a little meh, as well, that I haven't seen or talked to my girls but I love hearing, when we catch each other, that they're doing well. Everyone's just doing their own thing, basking in their adolescence, and really...feeling their feels. Everyone has their own definition of 'doing well', but I mean this in a way where we understand that we're trying to figure out shit right now and there's nothing wrong with prioritizing things important to you. I just love that whenever we do get a chance, it feels as though nothing has changed. We're just in our twenties now, making the effort to experience life. Special message to my girlies: I love you. It's time to lock in. Headass. Not really, lol. But, I know you guys are thriving in your space..or not, can be both on some days. Nevertheless, I am so proud of where we've gotten, and where we're going, because we worked hard on this. We're still learning, but it's so nice to hear and see that you guys are keeping things in the wraps.

Wow, I hope that was a good debrief. I just listened to all of CTRL and I feel so thankful. I love this life I live.

Goodnight

[rocksanddeadflowers]

(First off my laptop is uncooperative today and Tumblr is being very glitchy on my phone so this was hard to write...) a master post thingy sounds like a good idea!! This thing is a mess lmao ...

Okay okay very hard to scroll around to read and response with my stuff being glitchy atm but I am gonna try!! Brian being sensitive to touch - yes!!!! I feel like a lot of mechs fics do Brian being unable to feel touch or it being very dulled down because of his being made of metal and all, which works well in the canon material to me. But Carmilla in this AU trying to keep his functions as human as possible (even if she has to use magic all over to ensure that) which includes him being able to feel touch. It's just that it ends up being almost too sensitive at times!! So he gets overwhelmed easy- I love it.

Everything about the west wing scene !!!! :')

Also Lyf totally steals Marius's shoes out of spite after that

GARDENING BRIAN YES!!!!! (Also works to me bc I feel like him being good at medical stuff translating to witchcraft can often include herbal/plant usage a lot) (Also Lyf LOVES the gardens btw that's their safe space.) Consider: Nastya adored tending to the gardens as they're part of Castle Aurora and all and it's just therapeutic for her. Upon returning expecting everything to be overgrown or dead- but finding places that have clearly been recently tended to and absolutely melting. She totally finds out it's Brian and is so happy he did that and those two and Lyf tend to the gardens consistently afterwards!

Dude!!! I really do love your writing so much............. shit talking like that about someone's art is just ridiculous to me. Cause even if you don't like it specifically if doesn't mean it's bad and you should trash it?? Idk probably shouldn't ramble about that just hate it when people dump on any artist's work like that it's so ridiculous... Also I don't like, out up with autistic stuff I fully vibe with any autistic stuff you think you do bc I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and trying to get a proper diagnosis for it atm. Anyways your writing is awesome as it is and the more you do it over time the better it'll get too!! Art is cool like that :) don't let anyone convince you otherwise either as long as you don't overwork yourself (not saying you've done that just noting it).

Also okay I have a few rambles about other stuff for this au too

I feel like there's needs to be more clarification on how or why Carmilla ends up at the castle? Firstly I assume the town is close to the castle but not immediately next to it? (Maybe a full day on horseback? I mean, when I watched the movie I was easily confused bc it seemed like Belle's father was gone a whole day before winding up there but everyone lese managed to talk there in less than a couple hours I think? Maybe it's cause he got lost and turned back weird tho. So maybe closer than I said.)

Carmilla seems, to me at least, to have wanted to avoid the castle, but living close by gives her the comfort of an easy return? (vs Nastya who I think got as far away as possible, for her safety and to travel wider, but mainly bc she knew if she stayed too close she might not be able to stay away.) Maybe she even regularly checks in on the castle in secret. Not enough to make any differences, but enough to note any possible chances (good or bad).

Maybe lost on her way to the inventor's thingy (<- could say routine check in - if she does those - but there's the thing with Brian gifting her the cane) (also Brian having a rose from the rose gardens earlier on before the story bc of one of her checks!!) she only finds her way again when stumbling across the castle. But something - fate, destiny, narrative flow - gets her caught by Jonny when snooping around on the grounds (either trying to get her bearings or find a safe place to wait out the night/possible storm or something). To Jonny, while he thinks Nastya directly cast the enchantment, he clearly considered that Nastya learned it from Carmilla somehow, indirectly or not. Also, I think he feels betrayal the she left. That with him finding her randomly wandering the grounds, he's pissed and grabs her and tosses her in a cell. While Carmilla could probably get her way out, she doesn't want to hurt Jonny or Aurora in the process, and almost plays dead just going along with Jonny. Maybe she'll find an easier way out when he's not looking- besides, Brian thinks she'll be gone for a few days, she has time (<- has no idea someone is gonna find her cane yet)

Jonny might even grill her about lifting the enchantment, and she explains again and again how it's impossible. He must break it in his own. (He doesn't like that answer.)

When Carmilla hears Brian's voice calling for her barely even a day later her heart fucking drops. He's not supposed to be here it's not safe. The whole exchange between Brian and Jonny happen so fast and Brian won't let her object- something deep inside her shifts, as the actual caster of the enchantment she knows. Brian might be Jonny's last hope. This sudden knowledge running deep in her core shocking her so terribly that by the time she's even got a chance to register it Jonny is already sending her away with "she's useless to me now, anyway." Everything is wrong and it hurts- she's never once felt as helpless as she has now.

Even possible that, frozen in indecision, shock, and all the realizations and magic relations could make her somewhat genuinely ill, making it harder for her to find her way back and motivating Brian to return to her. Considering he might stay up to one to three months before looking into the mirror, and seeing her downward spiral sends him out after her.

Still not as cleanly written out as I was hoping, but I just needed more clarification for Carmilla's castle stuff to kick off the plot so there's my toss in!

Also on a lighter note: there's that bit in the audiobook thing we're the enchantress turns Belle's sisters into sentient but immobile statues to be stuck forever watching their sisters joy and fortune they may not obtain. My only issue with that bit was, it sounds uncomfy for Belle knowing her sisters are there watching the whole time? Their vibes are so sour I feel like it'd be weird. But!! Imagine Carmilla doing that to some of the people most directly responsible for Brian's witch trial execution and then selling the statues to other towns. Just as like, as a neat little reference. Well, she either sells them, or keeps them all somewhere to smash up rage room style lmao. ("I wonder if you'll be aware of all of this, the whole time....")

I also brought up Fae Lyf stuff in that other post... I don't think I can get into the war details for them atm (trying to hurry this up cause I gotta go + am losing brain power) BUT i love wild Lyf, and Fae stuff is the perfect excuse/explanation for here.

Like, you know how Tim and Bertie has this aura of like, intense violence and menace? Lyf has an aura of ethereal wildness- it's calm and maintained for the most part, with Lyf's personality you might not even guess it. But being near them, you can feel a call to the forests. Their energy is like running around in the woods after a rain, still cloudy but everything is overgrown and deeply saturated a bright green, and moisture holds in the air curling your hair and filling your lungs with the smell of rain. You look into their eyes, close enough to reflect your face, but instead of your reflection you see the woods, and a stream running down the middle. There's a wild air to them, felt most intense as they tend to the garden (Lyf falls into a bit of a depression over being unable to during the curse). There's something so natural about them that it's unnatural- so of this world that they're not of this world at all. It's easy to picture their hair wild, full of leaves, running about barefoot in the woods, so full of energy and life and joy. Yet, here they are, a servant in a castle, subduing that part of them. Is it shame? Habit? Self preservation? Maybe they're not even sure why they do. Maybe if feels easier that way, even if it hurts...

Anyway hope that made sense but I really gotta get off soon so bye!!

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

[tennessoui]

Okay okay okay

But Obi-wan finally coming back in pbatmb and finds Vader stalking the halls like he's haunting the damn place, right?

First interaction? He fully anticipates his pretty bird to have a reality crisis. Completely prepared to hush him and coddle him and kiss his head to ground him back to reality while he cries and sobs. He knows it'll take time to get his trust back once again.

But he's expecting Anakin. Not Vader.

And when he confronts him finally for the first time in months, bringing about the realization that he's not dead-

"Who are you?"

And of course that's just his pretty bird being cruel. Obi-wan has expected this too and thoroughly insists he play nice for his Daddy-

"Oh. Him."

And Vader just looks at Obi-wan's uncharacteristically messy dress shoes and sneers-

"Wipe your feet, Please. My house isn't a pigpen."

And that's as far as any recognition goes as he walks away. Essentially a complete stranger to a completely different man.

Which become hours to days of Obi-wan going through some semblance of the five stages of grief with what he assumes to be his husband playing mean.

Vader blank faced and unsympathetic to whatever tantrum this man is having in his house.

"if your going to have a fit, then you can take your problems up with Cody. I don't have time for squabbling."

And Obi-wan says something about his husband. About their marital duties to one another. Till death do them part and their contract-

"Contract-" Vader repeats with a scoff. "If your looking for his stuff, he didn't leave you much in the will."

"What will?"

"He's only left you the ring. Too pretty to bury I assume-"

"What will?"

"What? Not used to death? It's a slip of paper that you scratch so the government knows who's shit thier dumping to who-"

"Who's death?"

"Skywalker." He answered plainly. "And don't expect another dime from me. The ring's all he left you. Not his body. Not his clothes. Not his heart. He left it all to me. So you better get your ass out of My House before I have you arrested for trespassing. Councilman or not."

oooo that would be such an interesting twist and it's very very intriguing....

but tbh i have literally had the reunion scene planned out in my head since i started writing the fic and it has much more anakin and even vaderkin but not vader. much more crying and clawing and screaming it''s basically the first of two climaxes in vowbreaker so it's gotta be A Lot

very 'anakin can't believe his eyes, he's been hearing his voice sometimes but not seeing him, stumbles forward to touch, to make sure, wraps his hand into the fabric of his shirt and then throws him down onto the ground to try to beat the shit out of him while screaming and crying etc etc'

[ageofempires4]

absolutely crazy and wild that i've been in a relationship this long. usually i just break up with people as soon as they do anything that annoys me.

when i was seventeen i broke up with my thirty something year old boyfriend a few days before my eighteenth birthday just because one day it was raining and i saw all the worms that had crawled out of the waterlogged ground just to die on the concrete and i realized i felt more strongly about them than i ever had about him... since he had already bought me a birthday present i kept it. but even doing that made me feel cheap. i should have extorted him more for that illegal relationship but all i got was a shitty ring i threw down the gutter and bruises all over my face because i thought that making him give me more would make me feel like even more of a fucking whore than i already was.

and when i was in college i did a ton of ecstasy with a guy who told me he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me after graduating and then i dumped him because when i told him a professor had been molesting me for months he just said "but aren't you into that sort of thing?" as a joke and all the mild tolerance i'd had for him evaporated up and turned into hate.

and when i was in high school a guy got up on stage and sung a love song for me and it was so humiliating being singled out that i dumped him the next day.

and when i was on my way to college i broke up with one of the only guys who ever treated me decently because i thought i had to sever all my ties to high school life in order to have fun in college. big mistake!

i also broke up with a guy who got drunk and cheated on me with some chick i kind of knew but not close enough to care about and then he tried to break into my house and kill me for it.

but now i'm dating a normal guy who annoys me all the time and yet i don't break up with him because... i dunno! i like him!! i love him, even! i can forgive him for all the things that are annoying. i can be honest with him and talk to him like a real person instead of pretending to be a girlfriend. i spent a lot of years pretending i didn't have interests or desires because pretty much nobody i dated ever cared about them. just the typical "oh that's nice. want to have sex?" type of shit. a few people did care about what i had to think and say and those are the ones i regret breaking up with. because he cares about what i think about i'd definitely regret breaking up with him, so i'll never do it. besides, we have fun together and are compatible and... god... what else do people who are in love do anyway?

because i'm beautiful and funny and great to spend time with only one person has ever broken up with me in my entire life and that was because i was like fourteen years old and insane and definitely not a fully developed human being with the fun sexy and desirable personality traits i have now. it'll never happen again.

im like borderline aromantic tbh. but people keep falling in love with me, and i say, "why not give it a try? maybe this time it will be different..." and i think this time it really is different because i've decided to make a commitment.

[dolokhoded]

me starting to actually write this even though it still very obviously has some plot wholes

that ralbert au where race commits war crimes

i think it's really cute

so pulitzer is the big bad guy here for i'm basic reasons

has created some,, weird ass dumb ass evil empire

destroyed a couple towns

caused some battles

divided the world

y'know. stuff like that.

starting off with some spicy unfinished plot 🤩 but lbh it doesn't really matter anyways we're all just here for ralbert

anyways, race and al's families? pretty big part of that.

they're both supposed to take over their fathers' jobs when they grow up

said jobs basically being,, in charge of,,, unleashing people to raid entire towns and burn them to the ground

they grew up side by side, have always been best friends, never seen without each other

but understandably when they started growing up and understanding what was going on around them it,,,,,,, troubled them

and they dealed with it Very Differently

albert did Not like it

he was angry, and he was sad that this was what he was supposed to become and he was already never close with his family so it wasn't really hard for him to decide he didn't want anything to do with them anymore

race,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, okay look

deep inside him race knew what was going on was,,, s o wrong

but race was also from a big tight family, it was so much easier for him to just,,,,,, shut all of that out and pretend he was just doing what was better for them

it was hard for him, it was his family

still you can understand how well it went for them when albert left and race refused to go with him

they were 17 at the time

people against pulitzer's whole thing were obviously not very,,,,,,,,, well appreciated?

the moment albert ran away he was art of the defiance. he was a traitor.

but he was also still dasilva's son and they wanted them on their side, so they wouldn't seriously hurt him

doesn't mean they stopped looking for him

he shared an apartment with romeo and finch for a while, it was in a pretty lowkey neighborhood and they covered for him

and through them he met the rest of the newsies :) who actively helped in trying to help people who's homes were destroyed by pulitzer

there were people actively fighting him too but the newsies were mostly in charge of that

well, until albert and his non-existent impulse control arrived anyways

cause look,,,,, race was being trained for a reason, and eventually he took over

so when you see this ur ex-best friend who you're in love with but have a lot of repressed feelings for, both good and bad, that you decide to dump in the 'im angry' pile and just pretend you hate him and no longer care about him,,,,, fighting occurs

and there was a bit of controversy about albert joining them because "it's the dasilva boy romeo he was specifically trained to kick our asses" but that slowly turns into "yea ok he's very legit but for the love of god someone s t o p him the next time he tries to kiLL SOMEONE-"

that's a hyperbole, of course. even as rivals, albert wouldn't kill race. he barely even hurts him.

if anything, he even kind of looks out for him

he knows he's not supposed to but somehow he still can't bring himself to let race get hurt

besides let's be honest, most of their encounters are just an excuse to bitch at each other, they'd never do anything they know would seriously hurt the other

they know each other pretty well, they grew up together, they know each other's strengths and weaknesses

which is a pretty big advantage for them, honestly

enter,,,, albert dasilva's galaxy brain and the newsies' favorite game

Is Albert A Strategic Genius Or Is He Just In Love With Race

"no i've got this i know race!! i can use that against him!!!! i can guess his every move!!!! that's how well i know him!!!! i can recognize him in a room of like a billion people!!!!! it's my ultra strategic mind!!!! i can tell the sound of his voice from miles away!!!! it's because im so invested!!!!"

specs is like "in the mission or in race"

and albert is like "WHATEVER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT'S MY STRATEGIC MIND"

"I AM A MACHINE SPECS"

"you're chronically dumb"

"S T R A T E G I C M I N D."

albert really came in like well race's plan's gonna be ruined cause IM IN LOVE WITH HIM >:) what a fuckin loser

all this aside,,,,,,, albert never stops trying to get race on their side .

now RACETRACK,,,,,,,,,

we have a WHOLE LOT of being an asshole as a defense mechanism from this boy

in race's eyes, albert abandoned him

in race's eyes, he was given up on. he just wasn't enough to keep him there.

he can't see anything but that and never in a million years would he bring himself to believe albert still cares about him

he'd be getting his hopes too high and letting down his guard, and he can't afford to do that.

race doesn't notice albert trying to help him, he doesn't notice albert very carefully avoiding injuring him, he doesn't notice how albert will never say anything that would hurt him

albert's always protective of race, regardless of if he's beside or against him

which leads us to how once race eventually does get hurt, seriously hurt, literally no one bats an eye when albert returns with race unconscious, demanding they get him help

which they do, cause albert has not shut up about race for like one second, the newsies might as well know as much about him as albert did

naturally when race woke up he,,, had questions

and then he saw albert

he was sat on a chair next to him, sleeping

and this is the first time he's seen him like this in ages

and he gets a little chocked up because holy shit he almost forgot albert was,,,,,like,,, a person

and it wasn't necessary to only see him when fighting

he still had a life and friends and people he loved and he wasn't just this dude who left them because he didn't give a shit about anyone

he could genuinely care for people and he could love people and race just remembered how much he wished he could be one of those people

and how much he wished he could be albert's favorite person again and just sit and talk and laugh with him like they used to

cause that's a part of albert he'd forced himself to just forget about

and then al wakes up and he sees him looking up at him and he's like

"how're you feeling"

and then he's sad cause it's much harder to know albert is a good person with real feelings and he's capable of loving so much and race thinks he's just one of the people who will never get that side of him and he just

"fuck off"

they fight

because of course they do

they're not really sure on what terms they are at this point, and there's so much they need to get out there

at first race is just,,,, stubborn

he won't listen, he demands they let him go back

"we can just let you go, idiot, i shouldn't have ever brought you here in the first place!"

"then why did you?"

and al just shrugs it away as if he hasn't been in love with him for years and would never forgive himself if he left him there to bleed

they just go yelling at each other back and forth for a while until inevitably albert's non-existent impulse control makes his return

and he,,,,, very angrily tells him he loves him

and everything just stops cause that's the one thing race though he'd never hear him say again

and race is literally holding his breath cause he's scared he'll ruin it if he moves in the slightest and it'll all turn out to be in his head but it's not cause when he tells albert he loves him back he's still there and he just,,

takes race's face in his hands and kisses him so softly it's like they weren't just screaming at each other's faces

romeo just fuckin pokes his head in like "i heard yelling but i also heard i love you so i'll assume some of those unresolved feelings were let out and we're all ready to have a nice long healthy chat, yeah? :D"

so they do

they talk. for,,,,,,,,, a long time.

needless to say, race stays

he loves his family and maybe he'll be back for them, maybe he'll help them but he recognizes what's the priority here

plus it's a little clearer now that he doesn't have all those feelings to worry about, and it's been a while since he was actually accepted and loved, which the newsies did instantly. it's pretty obvious where he belongs now.

this au still has,,,,, SO much to unpack, holy shit, but i decided to leave this post here cause,,,,, i can't do all of that now. i might at some point though, if people actually are interested, there's a lot of hurt/comfort from this point. there's the nightmares part which is v soft and i adore it, THERE'S JUST A LOT TO UNPACK. so yeah, i'm finally posting this, ralbert stans, come get y'all's juice.

[selene-tempest]

Mud bath.

"Erm..." Selene blinked, not really knowing what to say.

"I know."

"It's just that..."

"I said I know!"

"There's just so much..."

"I get it!"

"That's gonna take some scrubbing."

"I'm aware of that fact," Kayo's curt reply held a definite tone of warning.

Selene couldn't blame her, not really. She was covered from head to toe in mud, the dirt clinging to her skin, soaked into her hair and Selene was pretty sure she'd heard the sound of squelching whenever the other woman moved.

"Do you need any he-"

"I've got it, thanks." Kayo turned her back, walking stiffly from the hangar to the adjoined showers, knowing that Grandma would pitch a fit if any of them traipsed mud up to the main house.

Dismissed, Selene gave up the battle, knowing that Kayo, more than anyone, had moments where she just wanted to be left alone.

-x-

"Anyone seen Kay?" Virgil asked later that night when they were all in the lounge, spread out across the sofas in what Jeff called Sloth mode. Nothing was moving them short of an emergency call, which they all desperately hoped wouldn't happen.

"Not since we got back," Gordon answered. "She said she was pretty tired, maybe she went straight to bed?"

"Without eating?" Selene's inbuilt need to care for those around her pinged into life.

"I'm sure she'll get something if she's hungry," Gordon shrugged, not taking his eyes off the show on the holoscreen.

"Don't be mean," Selene swiped at his shoulder. "How would you like it if you got back and no one fed you?"

"It happens all the time," he protested.

"Not while I'm here," she said firmly. "I'm going to go and check on her."

"Your funeral."

It took her very little time to rustle up some left over mac and cheese and she took it, along with a glass of milk, up to Kayo's room.

She knocked on the door but got no answer.

"Come on, open up, I've brought you some food."

"I'm not hungry," floated through the door.

"Don't give me that shit, you haven't eaten since breakfast."

Nothing.

"It's mac and cheese," she wheedled.

Selene heard a sigh of defeat, followed by shuffling footsteps coming closer to the door.

"I'm warning you now," Kayo said through gritted teeth, "you'd better not laugh."

Selene frowned. What was there to laugh about?

"Promise me."

"Erm... OK, I promise not to laugh."

The door opened slowly, just enough for Selene to squeeze through, slamming shut behind her the moment she was inside the room.

"Where shall I put this..." Selene trailed off, catching sight of Kayo for the first time. "Oh lawd."

"Don't. Laugh."

"I wasn't going to!" Selene slid the tray of food onto the bedside table and turned to get a closer look.

"Yeah, right. I know how it looks, I've looked in the mirror."

"I honestly wasn't going to," Selene assured her. And she hadn't been. Her poor friend didn't need teasing, she needed help. Badly.

Her hair, that beautiful, thick, naturally shiny hair that Selene secretly lusted after but couldn't get without a mountain of products, looked like shit. There, she said it, even if it was just in her own head. It was fluffed up beyond all recognition, a mass of tangles and frizz the likes of which Selene had never seen.

"I'm sorry, I gotta ask..."

Kayo folded her arms, tapping her foot, daring Selene to say something shitty.

"How the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know," Kayo huffed. "I know my ponytail got loose from my helmet, that's never good because it gets all tangled then. Then the band snapped and it was a lost cause."

Selene nodded, she'd had a similar experience with her hair coming out of the back of her jacket while riding on the back of her Dad's motorbike and it had taken her and her mum the best part of an evening and two washes to get it untangled again.

"I've washed it three times, blow dried it and broken a brush on it but it's just made it worse."

"What type of conditioner did you use?"

"The one I always do, the one in the locker room and then mine up here. That one that Grandma buys in bulk."

Selene's eyes widened in horror as her friend described the torment she had just admitted to putting her hair through.

"Generic conditioner? You used generic conditioner? The same shit that Alan uses? That conditioner? And then you tried to brush it out?"

Kayo shrugged.

"What are you, a savage?"

"What else would I do to get tangles out?"

"Oh my gods," Selene clasped her hands over her heart and swayed dramatically. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. How? How could you think that would be OK?"

"It's always been OK every other time."

"No! No don't you dare dismiss it and pretend that you didn't just commit a cardinal hair sin!"

Kayo shrugged again.

Selene pointed at Kayo then the tray of food. "You, you're going to eat that while I go and get some emergency supplies, and then we're going to fix this mess!"

Selene didn't give Kayo a chance to respond, she just swept out of the room, having delivered her orders which she expected to be obeyed. Kayo wanted to argue but knew it was a pointless waste of energy. Her hair felt like straw, she was grumpy and now that the enticing scent of cheesy pasta was permeating the room, she realised she was hungry too.

By the time Selene returned, arms ladened with so many bottles Kayo was sure she had just robbed a salon, she had eaten all of the food, drank half the milk and could admit that she actually felt a bit better.

"Right," Selene declared, dumping her load on the bed and sorting through it. "This is a moisturing shampoo, it's my favourite, the one that Scott keeps stealing. We're going to wash your hair with this and then we're going to slap on this deep conditioning mask and leave it for the full half hour before rinsing."

"Half an hour?" Selene had never heard Kayo sound so shocked.

"Yep, while wearing this." Selene produced something that looked like deflated balloon that had mated with a wedding bouquet.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a swimming cap, ignore the flowers, it'll keep the conditioner in place and create warmth to help it soak in, we'll cover it with a towel, you won't see it."

It took some persuading, but soon Kayo was back with soaking wet hair. Selene helped her to smother her locks in an insane amount of the hair mask and wrestled it into the swimming cap then wrapped her whole head in a towel.

"I feel ridiculous."

"Ypu look it too, but beauty is pain and it'll be worth it in the end."

"I know at least six different ways to kill you without you making a sound, they will never find your body."

"But you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Because then you'd be combing that shit out on your own."

The witch spoke the truth.

"Urghhh," Kayo groaned, refusing to admit defeat but knowing she had to. "This is going to take forever."

"Nah, it won't, don't sweat it. We'll have a girly night. Look, I bought face masks and chocolate too, it'll be great."

There was protests, but Selene quickly bulldozed through them like she always did, going so far as to launch herself at the other woman and sit on her when she tried to escape to lock herself in the bathroom, holding her down while she scrubbed at her face with a cleansing wipe and then painted on the mask. Ignoring her outraged screeching as she flailed her arms in a defensive attack.

The door opened at one point, Gordon and Alan sticking their heads in to make sure everything was OK. In their house screaming was never ignored. They took one look at Selene straddling Kayo, holding a dripping brush between her teeth while Kayo tried to push her hands away, both girls faces smeared in bright green face mud, and backed right out again. Selene didn't blame them.

Kayo looked at Selene, her eyes narrowing as if she were about to shove her onto the floor, but then her lips curved in a smile and she started to laugh.

They both collapsed into manic giggling, unable to stop. The looks on the boys faces ahd been priceless, as had theirs when they had turned to look at the door, pausing in the middle of their fighting.

"Thats going to be all around the island in the next ten minutes," Kayo howled.

"Oh gods, yes. They're never going to let this be forgotten," Selene wheezed, easing up on her friend and rolling sideways to get off her.

By the time their hysterics had subsided Selene gave Kayo permission to wash out her hair.

Over the course of the next two hours Selene smothered Kayo's hair in detangler and painstakingly combed through the now thankfully not so tangled mass, working in tiny sections at a time, from the tip to the roots until she could run the comb smoothly through her hair.

As they worked, with Kayo sat on the floor in front of the bed and Selene perched on the edge behind her, they fell into an easy chatter, sharing the chocolate Selene had brought with her and catching up.

If anyone asked, Selene would say she was closest to the boys, and most definitely Scott, but she counted Kayo as a close friend just the same.

At first meeting the two women had decided that they had very little in common, although they had banded together, two girls in a sea of testosterone that was Tracy Island and had become close pretty quickly.

Selene was more of a girly girl, finding enjoyment in putting on makeup, dressing up in nice clothes and watching weepy movies. Whereas Kayo was a tougher nut. She didn't really like dresses and considered makeup to be a waste of time, but they had worked hard to find a common ground.

Kayo had been used to being the lone girl (apart from Grandma) on the island and Selene often wondered if her mother dying young and her moving to the island where she had had to hold her own with what amounted to a chattering pack of wild monkeys, had stopped her from exploring her feminine side a bit more.

Kayo was great for so many things, she and Selene often spent their workout time together and had found they both shared a curious fascination for real crime documentaries, especially those of a more historical nature like Ted Bundy, The Yorkshire Ripper and the Night Stalker, it was interesting to try to figure out how today's modern technologies could have helped with the cases.

They would be found by John, wide awake in the small hours of the morning, camped out in the lounge with blankets and unhealthy snacks that Kayo would never admit to actually eating, engaged in some debate or other, sharing theories on unsolved cases or giving their opinions on one's that had already been solved.

No, their Kayo could never be described as girly but she was awesome just the same.

As Selene worked Kayo regaled her was the story of the whole sorry rescue from start to finish, starting with the flooding and finishing with all of then wallowing around in knee high muck, slopping around, falling over and basically having a less than relaxing mud bath.

The boys had had it easy, they just needed a quick shower and change of clothes, but Kayo had not been so lucky.

But the time all the tangles were out of her hair and Selene had dried it with the hairdryer she'd borrowed from Virgil's room, both girls were laughing again and with each sweep of the brush through her friends hair Selene felt her tense shoulder relaxing, simply enjoying the feel of someone looking after her for once.

Kayo didn't like being looked after, where the boys were always happy to accept any and all attention, especially if it came in the form of food, hugs or tv buddies, Kayo was more reserved and less likely to seek out company when she felt tired or moody. Selene made a mental note to force her company on her friend more often.

"There, all done," Selene announced, running her fingers through it one more time just because it felt so soft and shiny now that it had had some TLC.

"It actually feels amazing," Kayo admitted, stroke a strand between finger and thumb.

"That's because your heathen head has finally been nourished with something decent."

Kayo ignored that dig as Selene started to gather up her products, leaving some on the bedside table for Kayo to keep.

"There, that wasn't too horrendous was it?"

"So you say," Kayo huffed, but there was just a tiny hint of a smile on her face.

"So you wouldn't want to make this a monthly thing then?"

Kayo rolled her eyes. "Obviously not."

Selene shrugged, turning to pick up her things.

"But, I consider you my friend so, you know, hanging out once a month wouldn't be that much of a chore, but only because you want to."

"Oh, of course," Selene agreed, trying not to laugh.

"So, what now?" Kayo asked, reluctant to admit that it had actually been quite a fun night that she wasn't really ready to end yet.

Selene thought about it for a moment or two. "Wash off this stuff," she pointed to the mask that had long since dried into a flaking, crusty mess, "and then shove the boys off the couch so we can watch the next episode of 'Crimes of Passion, the 80s years'?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Big thanks to @myladykayo for the picture prompt. Not sure what this turned into but I went with it.

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, and thanks for sticking with this. It’s quite fun to write for this ship, and I hope you’re all ready for homoerotic exercise and another argument between men who don’t know how to communicate :)

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Three - Proving a Point

Day Two: Tuesday

Gajeel woke in a pissy mood. This wasn't going like it was supposed to.

Freed was meant to be a smug, self important man with no practical skills, no world-hardened experiences, and no way of keeping up with what Gajeel was demanding of him. His three day plan had focused around humbling Freed, telling him that he wasn't hot-shit like he clearly thought, and making him realise that his cushioned life didn't mean he was Gajeel's equal.

What was not meant to happen was for Freed to be competent! He wasn't meant to make a shelter, he wasn't meant to be able to make a fire without a match, and he wasn't meant to be able to cook the damn fish and make them taste good! Even Gajeel couldn't do that.

Worse, the fucker knew. Oh he knew what Gajeel wanted but wasn't getting.

He hadn't been so smug when he'd lost though, had he? He hasn't been running his mouth when he'd been in the stream, gurgling his pathetic little surrender. Nah, he'd looked exactly how Gajeel wanted him; weak, embarrassed and unable to deal with the fact he was out of his league.

Sure, it hadn't taken long for Freed to recover and spout some bullshit about Gajeel being intimidated by his magic, or whatever the hell it was he said. He was trying to save face and Gajeel wouldn't let him; he had lost their fight because he couldn't live without his spells. That was impractical, short sighted and the way a spoiled brat of a man worked. No doubt if he had to rely on his fists more, he would have seen the stream as something to take advantage of and used it, rather than falling into Gajeel's trap.

Hah. At least one thing had gone Gajeel's way.

Mostly.

Kind of.

Look, Gajeel might hate the man and the things he seemed to stand for, but Freed wasn't bad looking. And Gajeel was just a man, who had been stripped to the waist with Freed in the same state of undress, wrestling one another. He was bound to get distracted for a moment. Thankfully, Freed's nasty kick to the balls and the ensuing tantrum after had quickly quelled any growing interest.

Gajeel knew what he had to do today, though. Because if he was going to fight with Freed at the end of the week, he needed to respect the man. He wasn't going to respect Freed if he couldn't take a defeat, and if he couldn't handle himself without his magic. So today, Freed was going to prove he had the ability to back up his words.

Okay, it was a tenuous reason for what he had planned, but fuck it. Fuck Freed too.

It was tempting to wake the prick up by dumping some of the water Gajeel had gathered over his sleeping face - a nice little reminder of how the fight had ended - but he decided against it. He needed to have everything prepared before he woke up, so it would be better to check that everything was in place. That, and Freed apparently snored a little when he was sleeping, and Gajeel certainly didn't want to interrupt the possible blackmail that could come from it.

And perhaps it was nice to have something cut through the silence of the forest.

Gajeel had trained in this forest many times, and as such had come to know how to utilise it's assets. He wandered slowly, blinking away the sleep in his eyes, and eventually found what he was looking for. A large tree that had fallen down years ago, and stumbled down a hill. What remained was a leafless trunk at the bottom of a steep incline, perfect for strength training.

Next, he walked to the largest upstanding tree within reasonable walking distance. Gajeel had often climbed this tree to push his agility and upper body strength, and it was the perfect way to test Freed's practical skills. The tree was still standing tall, the branches Gajeel used to climb still attached. Perfect, no excuses for when Freed fucked up.

When he got to the lake, Gajeel grinned a little. The morning was cold and the water would be freezing, the worst temperature to take a swim in. Normally Gajeel would have hated to swim in weather like this, but it would certainly be a nice wake-up call for the spoiled little Prince.

Yeah, this was gonna be fun. For Gajeel anyway.

——

"I think yesterday proved pretty damp conclusively that you're out of luck if you don't have your magic," Gajeel said with crossed arms, looking down at Freed. "So, today I'm gonna teach you a couple techniques that'll come in handy when you're in a situation where you can't spell yourself out of trouble."

Freed clearly wanted to make a comment, but held his tongue. He was learning, huh.

When Gajeel had returned from his check of the forest, Freed had woken up, set up a new fire and was using the rest of the fish (and a few berries that he had picked) to make them both a breakfast. Gajeel had wanted to reject it out of hand, but it had smelt great and if it was anywhere near as good as his meal the day before, refusing it would be a mistake. It had tasted amazing, so Gajeel had huffed out a thanks and gave a short nod of thanks.

Soon after that, Gajeel had motioned for Freed to follow him. Freed had done so without complaint - Gajeel couldn't prove it, but liked to think it was because the asshole was too embarrassed after his loss - and allowed himself to be led down the stream, towards the lake.

"You've got wings right, when you use yer magic?" Gajeel asked. "So yer probably gonna use 'em to get over every little thing, right?"

"Like you do with your little cat friend, I expect," Freed commented, and Gajeel stiffened slightly. Freed noticed and smirked a little. "My apologies, I interrupted you. Please, go on."

"Don't need yer permission," Gajeel grunted, more to himself than to the man standing before him. "But if yer using yer wings as much as I think you are, you ain't ready to deal with terrain that ain't easy to walk through. So, if this week's about improving then this is gonna help you get over that flaw. We run from here towards the lake, taking us through forested ground which ain't even and ain't safe, and then we swim from one side of the lake to the other."

"So it's a race then?" Freed asked, annoyingly not intimidated by the proposition.

"If you want," Gajeel shrugged. "But I ain't got a prize or anythin'. Definitely not one for participation, like yer probably used to."

Freed rolled his eyes at that, but didn't ride to the bait. Instead, he said, "Perhaps when I win, you'll cook for once."

"You ain't gonna win," Gajeel claimed.

"We'll see," Freed hummed a little, far too smug for his own good.

"Stretch up," Gajeel muttered, even though he wanted to push the man further, maybe even see if he could add an actual forfeit for losing, something to really make the fucker squirm. But, well, Gajeel didn't know for sure he would win, so couldn't risk things just in case.

Just as Gajeel went to start stretching his calves, he heard the sound of ruffling fabric and frowned. He ignored it for a moment as he felt the gentle burn of his muscles working, but caught sight of Freed's white - now dirt stained and crumpled - shirt now hanging over the branch of a nearby tree. With slightly furrowed brows, he turned towards Freed to demand an explanation, only to see him kicking off his pants and placing them right next to his shirt, leaving him only in his boxer-briefs. His tight and eye-catching boxer-briefs.

Before the thoughts could even form about how Freed was wearing his underwear to perfection, Gajeel forced his memory back to the night before. About how he'd acted and how he had tried to make Gajeel feel like crap just to feed his own ego.

Freed had lost a wrestling match, and had thrown a fit about it. Gajeel couldn't respect a man like that, and he couldn't find a guy hot if he didn't respect him.

"The hell are you doing?" Gajeel demanded.

"If we're going to swim, then I'd rather not get my only set of clothes wet when it could be avoided," Freed explained, and Gajeel was momentarily thankful that he didn't look ready to remove his boxers. He couldn't think like that, so spoke again.

"Cause you can't stand a bit of discomfort, right?" Gajeel grumbled.

"No, I just don't see the point of making things worse for myself to prove a point," Freed looked pointedly towards Gajeel when he said that. "The water is clearly going to be cold and the weather doesn't look like it'll improve, meaning it'll be a struggle to dry ourselves already. The fire can only do so much, and we'll either have to lounge around in wet clothes out of stubbornness, or remove them and wait for them to dry while we ourselves get dry. That extends the time we'll be cold, making us both uncomfortable and wasting time before whatever inane task you've got next. That, coupled with the fact that this is flu season, seems like good enough justification for avoiding a stupid problem."

Gajeel could hardly argue the point, so instead he mumbled, "We ain't gonna be lounging around."

"What an astute and well thought out argument," Freed deadpanned, and Gajeel wanted to punch him again. He didn't, instead averting his eyes as Freed started to stretch his arms. "Nobody is forcing you to do the same if you're shy, Mister Redbox. To me it just feels like the reasonable course of actions."

Rather than speaking, Gajeel turned his back. He also removed his shirt and boots; but he wasn't getting half naked like the pervert next to him.

Calling him a pervert was maybe a stretch.

He pushed back that thought, as well as the thoughts of how damn good Freed's ass looked in those boxers - Gajeel was only a man, and he couldn't deny what he saw - and instead got himself into line with Freed. The race is what he should have been focusing on, not the fact that Freed didn't look half bad when he was taken away from his pampered and luxurious sheen. Tangled hair and the odd spec of dirt really did wonders for the pretty-boy.

The race. Focus on the race. And the fact the guy couldn't deal with a loss.

"Ready?" Gajeel asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Go."

He lurched forward before he could think, sprinting through the undergrowth of the the forest as he ran towards the lake. Years of guild work in places like this had allowed for the perfection of running through the forest; you kept alternating your gaze between the ground and on the trees.

Usually he would have turned his skin to iron so he wouldn't have to focus on the branches in his way, but he was trying to prove a point. He winced a little as a sharp end to a twig scraped against his cheek, far too close to his eye, but didn't let it stop his pace. He could hear Freed's breathing very close behind him, so evidently Freed knew how to run through a forest as well as Gajeel did, so he couldn't let up for a moment.

When they were out of the forest, there was a short run towards the lake with more space than there had been in the forest. Gajeel forced himself to run as fast as he could, not wanting to let Freed overtake him now he had the width to do so. And not having a view of the man's body might-

The race. The way he'd acted the night before. Focus dammit!

If telling himself wasn't enough to cut off his libido, the face first plunge into freezing, dirty water certainly did. He let out a shuddering gasp when his head broke the surface, but couldn't allow the ice-cold water to stop him. He quickly started to swim, smirking a little when he realised he still had the lead.

The smirk died when Freed overtook him pretty damn quickly.

Gajeel saw nothing but ripples of water ahead of him, and gritted his teeth as he tried to speed up. He was a man built to brute force his way through a problem, while Freed was apparently more agile. He should have expected that, but he had wanted to leave Freed in the dust during the run so it wouldn't be an issue.

All he could do now was swim to the other shore of the lake, pissed off.

When he reached the end of the lake, he saw Freed resting on one of the large boulders that made up the shoreline. He was panting, soaking wet and still wearing those fuckimg boxers. When he saw Gajeel haul himself up from the water, he looked towards him and smirked.

"That didn't end up how you wanted, did it?"

"Shut up," Gajeel snarled. "Get yer clothes, we've got a busy day."

When Freed laughed, Gajeel nearly pushed him into the lake again.

——

"So, you think ya can beat that?"

Gajeel had more than got his confidence back now, and he was smirking at Freed with his arms flexed intentionally.

Both he and Freed were stood at the bottom of a steep hill, where the dead tree-truck sat. Gajeel had explained this challenge; they would both have to push the tree-truck up the hill as far as they could. The justification for this exercise was that Freed might one day find himself in a situation where he was trapped without his magic and needed to force his way out with his strength alone, and the exercise was meant to simulate that. Freed clearly saw that Gajeel just wanted to push his limits, but he didn't say anything.

This was the last task of the day. They'd already attempted the tree climbing that Gajeel had planned, and Freed had been obnoxiously good at it. Gajeel had been faster, but they both knew that he had a natural advantage because he'd had practice. Gajeel could hardly boast about being slightly better then Freed at something he had done many times and Freed was new to.

Gajeel had just finished his attempt at pushing the trunk, and was fucking delighted when he saw he'd beaten his own personal record. This was how he would regain his control over things.

Freed didn't stand a chance.

"I'm sure I'll be a worthy contender," Freed stated, walking towards the tree-trunk. "Which is a feat, I expect, given that you've clearly been setting me up for failure from the beginning."

"Maybe if you weren't so predictable then I wouldn't have been able to plan things out so well," Gajeel grunted.

"So you predicted that, in everything other than tasks that relied solely on physical strength, I have exceeded your expectations and beaten you in completion, I suppose?" Freed taunted quietly as he positioned himself against the tree-trunk. "I expect you did all of this simply to prove your inferiority."

"Inferiority?" Gajeel scoffed. "You ain't done anything but bitch about this because it's not going yer way."

"Not going my way?" Freed laughed, turning from the log and looking at Gajeel again. "You are joking, aren't you?"

"All you've done is make yer little comments about how you don't think it's fair," Gajeel challenged, taking a step forward and glaring the other man down. "And when ya lose, you throw a tantrum."

"I throw tantrums," Freed demanded, sounding equal parts exasperated and annoyed. "As opposed to you, who has been acting perfectly rational throughout this? It hasn't escaped my attention that you clearly see Makarov's initiative as some sort of personal affront to you, and you have apparently seen it fair to force all of these grievances onto me. So for you, a man who has been as close to stomping his feet and wailing as his pride allows, to complain about me throwing a tantrum is practically laughable."

"You think that's what I'm doing?" Gajeel took another step forward. "I'm doing this because yer clearly a spoiled little city-boy and I ain't associating myself with something who can't-"

"Can't what?" Freed snapped. "Can't make a shelter? Can't start a fire? Can't swim across a lake faster than you? Because I've done all of this despite your clear hopes otherwise. Or would you rather judge my worth as a mage by seeing me push a dead tree up a hillside, or to wrestle you without the weapon I use nor the magic I wield? Because, Mr Redfox, if you need to force such strict parameters to best me and you consistently lose, then perhaps your plan isn't a good one."

Fuck, he wanted to punch the guy. Fully encase his fists in iron and beat the shit out of the guy. It would be damn satisfying to see the guy knocked out, while the smugness straight out of him.

"Nothing to say?" Freed continued, a patronising look on his face.

"Fuck off," Gajeel growler, turning around and going to walk away. Before he could take a step, a wall of glowing runes shot up in front of him, blocking his exit. He turned to Freed with an expression of fury. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You," Freed snapped, and magic seemed to emanate from him.

He looked feral in that moment, with all the shields of fancy clothes and smart ass words replaced by anger and magic. His shirt was billowing in the magic induced winds, and the glare on his face was accentuated by the purple swirling in his eye. Fuck, he looked like a man on the edge and it shot straight to Gajeel's dick. Freed was a gentleman gone wild, and if that wasn't one of Gajeel's most well-buried fantasies then he didn't know what was.

The expression was gone as quickly as it came, and the magic swarming Freed's eye fell away. For a moment, Freed looked worried, but he was talking again before Gajeel could understand why he looked like that.

"Neither of us are happy about this, but at the end of the week we have to fight side by side, and the biggest issue we have right now is that we can't stand one another," Freed seemed more calm now, as if the bubble of anger had burst. What the hell had caused that? "So, either you plan something that might make us work together, or at least respect one another, or we both stop trying and say to hell with the consequences."

Gajeel didn't say anything. It felt like the rug had been pulled from under him.

Suddenly, a wave of shitty realisation hit him. Freed had a point when he said he was taking his anger out on him, when he really just didn't want to do the damn training thing at all. He wasn't being fair.

"I think that's enough," Freed sighed. "I'll gather my things and go home. You needn't contact me again."

Freed was walking away before Gajeel could react, and the walls of runes fell around them both. A horrid feeling of regret filled Gajeel, and he quickly jogged to catch up with Freed, who was clearly ignoring him. He kinda deserved it.

"Shit, Freed, wait," He placed a hand on the man's chest, and Freed glared at him. "Yer right, I ain't been fair," It wasn't a fun thing to admit. "I had some ideas about who you were, and didn't wanna let ya prove me wrong, even when you were kicking my ass," He sighed. "And yer right about me wanting to fuck you over, that's why I did this shit, and it wasn't right. That was shitty of me."

"Well, I can hardly blame you for judging me. We were both guilty of that," Freed admitted. "And thank you for admitting that. But I don't see how we could suddenly become a cohesive, effective team, we're hardly compatible."

Gajeel sighed, Freed had a point.

But if a Fairy Tail mage was good at anything, they were good at being stubborn.

"What if we have a fight?" Gajeel proposed, and Freed frowned at him. "Talking like this ain't gonna get rid of the attitude we have for each other, right? You're still pissed at me, and you said some things that made me wanna sock a punch in yer jaw. Maybe having the chance to beat the shit outta each other might break through the attitude problems we have."

"That's not too bad an idea," Freed admitted, glancing at the evening sky for a moment. "It would be cathartic to make you scream."

"Buy me dinner first, city-boy," Gajeel teased before he could think. Freed all but gaped at him, and Gajeel was speaking to fill the silence before he could stop himself. "Y'know, I ain't ever seen you fight before. Don't know how you work."

"Then I have the advantage," Freed grinned slightly. "And you're voluntarily giving it to me. Perhaps you really are repentant."

"Nah, just wanna kick yer ass without you having an excuse."

"We'll see," Freed smirked, and Gajeel found himself grinning back.

[leelee10898]

Born to Love you: Spell bound (1/?)

Leo & Alicia, what really happened....

This is from the CGW(Cordonians gone wild)universe. A collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself.

If you have not yet read the original when Leo met Alicia, you should do so. References will be made from that, and events will coincide with it. You can do so HERE

Santorini

Leo opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. The sound of ringing coming from across the room. He jumped up digging through his pants. “Hello? Liam is that you?”

“Yes its me, where the hell are you?”

“I'm not really sure at the moment?” He held the phone between his face and shoulder,  tugging his jeans on.

“What do you mean you don't know where you are? I thought you were in Santorini.” Liam sighed, Leo could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose, which made him chuckle at the thought.  “I am, I just don't know exactly where or who's house i'm at, right now.”

“Jesus Leo. Look, i'll be there April 9th to come get you. That gives you a month to get your shit on order.” Leo looked at the phone confused. “for what? Ooooh, the wedding,  right. How long you need me for again?”

“yes the wedding. Your the best man Leo. Look if you don't want to do it, I can always ask-”

“NO! I told you, I want to do it Liam. I'll be ready.” Leo heard shuffling outside the door. “Hey, I gotta go Li, I'll talk to you later. And i'll be ready for the wedding, don't worry.” Leo hung up the phone, he slipped his shoes on and pulled his shirt over his head.

“oooo a wedding, I love weddings. I could be your date.” The woman spoke as she walked in the room. “yeah, you're not going.” Leo snorted as he grabbed his leather jacket. “Where are you going?” she asked. “This had been great and all monica, but it's time for me to move on.”

“But my names Beth.”

“Monica, beth, susan… all the same.” He shrugged and walked out of the room, Beth following him out. “But I thought we had something special, that maybe we would end up together.” Leo spun around, one hand on the door knob “Look. Beth. Its Beth right? I don't do relationships. Never have never will.”

“But what if the right girl came along, what if i'm her and you just walked out on true love.” she pouted.

“I have been around, trust me if she's out there, I haven't met her yet.”  He opened the door and left.

Bronx, New York

“Hey Nitah, How's the wedding planning coming along?” Alicia walked down the dimly lit street, she had just closed up the bakery for the night and was headed home with dinner and desert for Mark.

“It’s going! It’s so hectic! I can’t wait for you to get here!”

"I know, I can't wait either. I need a vacation, like stat! Seriously like now would be great."

“I need a vacation too, from all of this planning. Do you have any idea what goes into a royal wedding?” Anitah dropped her voice to a whisper, “some of this shit is so ridiculous.”

"No, but I will find out whenever I get there." She giggled.

“Speaking of when you get here, I’m going to be coming to get you on the 7th.”

"The 7th? The wedding isn't until June, so i'll be staying for 2 months?"

“Please! I need you here,” Anitah whined.

"Um Fuck YES! Absolutely! I will be there. I will need to take care of some stuff for the bakery but, it's not a problem. Oooh I can't wait." Alicia couldnt help but grin.

“I’m so excited!” Anitah squealed. “I already told Liam you were coming. He’s very thankful,” she laughed. “Um...are you bringing the dick head with you?”

"I will have to ask,  you know he doesn't want me to go without him. But, I could use a vacation from him too.”

“Well I purposely sent your invite without a plus 1 option,” Anitah snorted.

"You're such a dick. Hey, I just got to Marks apartment, im gonna get off here. But Anitah, Thank you. Love you. "

“Love you too!”

Alicia ended the call, pulling out her key to marks apartment she walked inside and flicked on the lights. “What the fuck?” she screamed dropping the bags on the floor.

“Alicia, shit. This isn't what it looks like.” mark put a throw pillow over himself.

“Then what the fuck is it Mark? Because it looks alot like you fucking someone else. And fucking Tessa? Seriously dude, you're supposed to upgrade,  not fuck clown school rejects.”

“Hey! You can't talk to me like that.” Tessa yelled.

“Shut the fuck up Tessa before I punch the dicks off your brows.”

“Alicia. I'm sorry I don't know how this happened. I thought you weren't getting off until 10.”

“Yeah well got off early. I brought you dinner.” she opened the container of ziti and tossed it all over tessa.

“What the fuck Alicia. You're crazy.” Mark screamed.

“Oh you haven't seen crazy. Here enjoy desert.” She smashed the whole cake in his face. She cocked her arm back and extended it. Fist connecting with his face.

“Fuck, I think you broke my nose.” Mark held his face.

“oh. And you have a little dick. Enjoy it tessa. Were through.” She slammed the door and took off for home.

Cordonia....

Liam walked in from the veranda as Anitah ended her call. “So Leos in.”

“Alicia too.” Liam sat down giving her a kiss.

“you think they'll get along?” Anitah asked as she leaned into him. “well, Leo's a sexed crazed playboy, who cant stay put in one place for long.  Is Alicia anything like that?” Liam chuckled.

“Definitely not. She's been with her current thing for about 2 years now.” Anitah putting extra emphasis on the word thing. Liam chuckled. “it'll be fine love, don't worry.”

One month later…

“Seriously Alicia, you've been sleeping for days, let's get a move on.” Anitah sighed sitting on the bed. “i'm done in the shower, just let me grab my bra and shit.” Alicia yelled as she ran out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Anita's phone rang, facetime from Liam.

“Hey you. I thought you had meetings today?”

“we wrapped it up early. Im at Leo's hotel room, or dump, which every you want to call it.” Liam scrunched his face. “Haha.” Leo shouted from the background.  

“So what I was calling you for, was to let you know I'm coming home today. Well, that is if Leo ever gets his shit together.”

“Really? Yay! I'm so excited. Don't get me started about not being ready.  Were supposed to go shopping if ALICIA STOPS RUNNING AROUND IN A TOWEL.” she turned behind her yelling. “im working on it, shit.” Alicia called out.

“Who's running around in a towel?” Leo rushed to Liams side.

“Anita's friend is getting ready, they are going shopping. Will you get away.” Liam slapped Leos hands “Just, let me see,  I want to say Hi.”

Leo wrestled with Liam trying to get the phone,  he put him in a headlock, grabbing the phone and running to the other side of the room. “Heeey, there's my favorite soon to be sister.” Leo said out of breath.

“Ah hey Leo, um is everything ok? Where's Liam?”

“Oh yeah everything's great. Liam's um, over there. So your friend-” Liam darted across the room tackling Leo to the ground.  

“Liam!” Anitah shouted

“I'm trying here.” He called out as they scrambled for the phone.

“What the fuck is going on?” Alicia pulled a pair of jeans on looking at Anitah.

“oh, Liam and his brother are fighting over the phone. That's all.”

Liam grabs the phone.  “Sorry, i'm pretty much dealing with a horny teenager.” Liam chuckled as Leo snatches the phone. “So as I was saying before.” Alicia stood next to Anitah. They couldn't see her face, just her front half.

“Ooh they sound like fun,  Hi Liam's brother.”

Leo stood there stunned

“Shirt. Shirt!” Anitah hollered.

“Oh fuck.” Alicia ran off grabbing her shirt, pulling it on.

Finally Liam tackled Leo to the ground, knocking the phone out of his hand and through the open window.

“You broke my phone Leo.” Liam snapped.

“No, you broke your phone when you tackled me. That's on you.” liam rolled his eyes.

“So, you've seen this friend? What's she look like, she had nice tits.” Leo smirked as he continued putting clothes in the suitcase.

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “For fucks sakes Leo, NO. You're forbidden.”

Bastien entered the room, sir Anitah is on the phone. Liam gave Leo a pointed look, leo stood there and smirked. “Hello?”

********

A couple hours later Leo kicked his feet up on the coffee table in Liam and Anita's quarters. “So, what's on the agenda for the lead up to the engagement? Since you guys aren't doing a tour that is?”

“well a few dinners, balls, galas, charity events.  A garden party or two.” Liam folded his hands on his lap, an amused grin in his face as he watched his brothers face fall. “ugh Liam, this is the shit I ran away from, can we do something fun?” Leo groaned.

“Well, Anitah is planning a bachelorette party, we may be able to fit a few trips in before the wedding.”

“Alright, now we're talking.” Leo perked up rubbing his hands together. Bastien entered the room “Sir, we got a call. Anitah is at the bar, the guard assigned to ger can't get her to leave.” Leo snorted,  Liam gave him a pointed look.

They walked into the bar immediately finding Anitah. Leo noticing the woman sitting with her.  It was like time slowed, he felt immediately drawn to her. “Who's that sitting with Anitah?”

“Thats Alicia her bestfriend…” thats all Leo heard, he blocked Liam out almost instantly as they walked over to where the women were.

Alicia turned, her eyes locking with the brightest set of blues she had ever seen. She mumbled some stupidity she instantly regretted. God, He was sexy. His lips, his eyes, that cocky grin that sent a tingle through her body. There was something about him, a feeling she couldn't shake. Nothing bad, all good.

Leos breath caught in his throat,  she was beautiful from a distance but up close, she was breathtaking. The way her long brown hair flowed over her shoulder, those deep chocolate eyes that he could see himself getting lost in. Her full lips and that Gorgeous smile that met her eyes. She said he was hot, god he wanted to tell her she was hot to but the sight of her rendered her momentarily speechless,  a feat no woman had ever accomplished.

He took her hand placing a soft kiss on it. Both of them feeling a jolt pass through them as their eyes locked.

“I'm Leo.”

“I'm Alicia. Nice to meet you, Leo.” ........

I was a wild child between lost and found. Then you spoke my name, it was a sweet sound. - Lanco

Tag: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @jlouise88 @jared72612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @dcbbw

@explorer-of-gems @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @hopefulmoonobject

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you left your headphones here, mate Jimmy: got 'em in my pocket if you wanna collect Jimmy: wouldn't subject you to Cass' interrogation tactics Jimmy: better off buying new, rich girl Janis: yeah, realized when I went to start this run Janis: already in Twix's bad books so can't have that, like Janis: drop in and get 'em in a few Jimmy: 💔 on the rocks already you two? Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: stay for breakfast if you want Janis: Are now, like Janis: How to explain with a look that you can't take her out 'cos you tryna be 🤐 tragic misunderstanding Janis: [pic of protein shake thing] 👍 Jimmy: did try & let her know my dad was in the mood to do you for dogknapping but Jimmy: she ain't the sharpest pup at the park Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Rude Janis: she got plenty of potential Jimmy: where? Janis: 🙄 Janis: she got as much as you in her right paw, like, don't be rude Jimmy: says you as you're then snide to me 👌 Jimmy: you know my smoothies are 💣 & so my future is set Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: gotta stand up for my girl ain't I Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: who took her out? she best remember that 🥇 Janis: didn't know you cared 💕 Janis: can handle the competition okay Jimmy: nah, you'll be 💔 when she's only got 😍 for me Jimmy: especially 'cause I don't care, double blow 🎻 Janis: Scandalous Janis: hitting her up with the screenshots as we speak Jimmy: no secret, babe Jimmy: go on Janis: Poor bitch Janis: #youdeservebetterhun Jimmy: shoulda fought the law, Juliet Jimmy: reckon you'd have gotten pretty far with her before the take down Janis: Appreciate the faith Janis: but as I didn't even make it out the door without being #exposed Janis: idk Jimmy: Just by the 🐶 though? Janis: Nah, your Dad had to share how full of the joys he was this AM, like Jimmy: sorry Janis: ain't your fault Janis: and no big Jimmy: I invited you & he's my dad so as much as it can be, it is Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just accept the apology Janis: alright Janis: might wanna tell him i'm not a prozzie though, just look like one Jimmy: did he say that? Janis: No, nah, 'course not Janis: just 👀s Jimmy: then don't be a dickhead Jimmy: he knows you're my girlfriend Janis: just joking Jimmy: funny Janis: gotta laugh Jimmy: nah Jimmy: join me in misery Janis: that bad? Jimmy: just joking Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when you working 'til today Jimmy: 3 Jimmy: why? Janis: just working out when i can drop in to get my headphones Jimmy: I can give 'em to your sister Jimmy: she drops by at lunchtime like clockwork Janis: 😑 Janis: that would require talking to her Janis: for you and me Jimmy: I was reckoning more on a shove 'em at her & run Jimmy: gotta go on my break, soz gracie Janis: good 🍀 Janis: if she can read social cues at all she ignores them Jimmy: save me then, babe Jimmy: come yourself Janis: will do Janis: not lunchtime, obviously Janis: been summoned home anyway 🙄 Jimmy: you in the shit too? Jimmy: how #goals of us, Juliet Janis: truly Janis: it's only my dad, he ain't got no balls Jimmy: @ me in some shit to demonstrate our mutual pining like Jimmy: no way I'm allowed out until my dad's home at least Janis: figured Janis: least if you're effectively grounded no one waiting on that first date like Jimmy: he can't stop me taking the sibs & dog out but probably best if you don't show up too Janis: 👍 no problem Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna keep it coupley, gonna have to be in work hours Janis: guess i got no excuse not to be there atm Janis: hmm Janis: i will show up at lunch, least we'll have a definite witness Janis: that'll keep 'em going Jimmy: they travel as a pack, we'll have 5 Jimmy: take some selfies, make a scene, go again. Easy, yeah? Janis: 🙄 such a fake bitch Jimmy: law of Leprechaun town Jimmy: got us in on it even Janis: least we're going for gold, what the fuck are you doing gracie Jimmy: least we know Mia's going for the throat Jimmy: god bless Janis: gonna have to go for yours Janis: don't take it personal Janis: no time for half-arsing it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the #mood Jimmy: it'll piss my dad off too so sign me up Jimmy: more lasting you can make it, the better Janis: no amateur at either, babe Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I remember Janis: Yeah? Janis: told ya Jimmy: you tell me a lot of things, Judith Jimmy: so chatty you Janis: 🖕 Janis: be off then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 'til lunch my love Janis: 💘 Janis: you know the deal, have something not shit waiting for me Jimmy: I'm already there, baby 💕 Janis: 😏 dickhead Jimmy: do you want food or you just gonna snack on me like you're channeling a mia move? Janis: she's not inspiration or goals Janis: can't have her reckoning that, ever Jimmy: #thinspo Janis: 😂 Janis: get me a bacon sarnie to fuck her off Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nowt sexy bout that but I'll 😍 best I can Janis: how rude Janis: what you want me to order, like u got anything phallic on the menu lads Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you'll have a straw with your smoothie, it's fine Janis: I've been forced to endure many a teeny romcom, it's fine Janis: know what to do, boy Jimmy: weren't doubting Jimmy: easy for you anyway, what am I gonna do? lick out a coffee lid suggestively? nah Janis: please do Janis: need a good laugh Jimmy: piss off Janis: still think you're cute, don't worry baby Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: shut up Jimmy: save it for when you can make me Jimmy: the audience will love that Janis: yeah expecting applause Jimmy: I'll take the hit when Mia throws her iced coffee Jimmy: workers comp Janis: Love that for her, if only you didn't take your coffee like a basic bitch, might have the desired effect Jimmy: only gonna make me look hotter, girl so tah Janis: who isn't about a wet t-shirt moment Jimmy: she helps me out loads for someone who reckons they're a #hater Janis: save your thanks for the acceptance speech Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not gonna thank her the way lads usually do Janis: #notliketherest is it? 😏 Jimmy: #standardsunliketherest Janis: If you say so Janis: me being your 'girlfriend' probably has 'em doubting that Jimmy: I had said it, loads Jimmy: Start listening, girl Jimmy: might stop you chatting shit for a sec Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: I heard ya Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: the manager's here Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 👍 laters Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [After] Janis: [Headphone selfie] Tah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Selfie to show the general disheveled state of him after that glorious PDA] Jimmy: likewise Janis: 😳 Janis: worked though Jimmy: I didn't reckon Mia's voice could get this high Janis: Ha 😂 Janis: so pressed Jimmy: their debrief is the real show Jimmy: & you're missing it Janis: Gutted 💔 Janis: gimme the play by play Jimmy: nowt you ain't heard before I'm sure Jimmy: 🎻 & 🗡 Janis: usual then Janis: sure gracie will fill me in on how much of a bitch i am no worries 🙄 Jimmy: if she don't you didn't do enough Jimmy: you'll have to come back Janis: yeah? doubt that was her shout somehow 😏 Jimmy: let me know Janis: If you think I'm letting her dictate 'round 2 you got the wrong twin Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Yeah, be sure to tell her how gutted you are about that Janis: love to get it #confirmed Jimmy: you're alright Janis: can't say i didn't try Jimmy: nobody can Jimmy: not after that display Janis: too much? Jimmy: nah Jimmy: it was spot on Janis: 🥇 Janis: no need to come back then Jimmy: unless you wanna smack Mia Jimmy: I'd be down to see that Janis: Perv Janis: and 'course I do but her bones might legit crumble and I don't need to get sued by Daddy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know babe Jimmy: more gutted I can't accidentally dump this order on the lot of 'em anyway Janis: can't even be mad Janis: #thecouplethathatestogether Janis: I legit couldn't stick another second of them Jimmy: I know babe Jimmy: A lesser ego would think you were desperate to get away from me, but not this one Janis: Thank God you're you 💘 Janis: can't be dealing with stroking egos and destroying others in one Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Love you too Janis: when will your dad forgive you/me enough Janis: wanna see twix, like Jimmy: He doesn't get back til 6.30 Jimmy: usually later Janis: so, between the hours of 6.30-6.30, she's all mine? Janis: well, share with the kids, not a total heartless cow Jimmy: yeah Janis: good to know Jimmy: not gonna stand in the way of #truelove am I? Janis: try it Jimmy: ain't got the energy today, darling Janis: 😏 Janis: oh colour me surprised Jimmy: you shouldn't be Jimmy: you know how I slept Janis: i know Janis: he was alright though once you went in with him yeah Jimmy: after a bit Janis: 👍 good stuff Janis: consolation i didn't sleep all that good either Jimmy: like I said, join me in misery Jimmy: you should drink coffee Janis: why are you trying to ruin me Jimmy: says the girl trying to kill me by any means she can Janis: You asked for it Jimmy: 😱 Jimmy: # something relevant for me 'bout that Janis: not blaming or shaming Janis: but you can't fool me, babe Janis: #youwantit Jimmy: #busted Jimmy: 😍💕 Janis: didn't know you were arty Janis: btw Jimmy: why would you? Janis: idk, feel like i shoulda guessed Janis: #softboi Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: now really piss off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😑 Janis: 'scuse me Janis: giving you a compliment Jimmy: save it for when you can gimme one that matters Jimmy: just doing my bit Janis: Fussy Jimmy: what? Janis: My compliment not good enough 😜 Jimmy: gimme a better one then Jimmy: 'cause that's bollocks Jimmy: it's just a doodle not even that #goals Janis: can say my standards ain't high as yours then Janis: whatever, boy Jimmy: give & you take 💔 Janis: You're prettier than you've drawn yourself Janis: happy? Jimmy: you're prettier than I've drawn you Jimmy: shit artist Janis: ugh stop Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: you first Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Cute Jimmy: tell me something I don't know, Jennifer Janis: Alright Janis: I wish I could come back Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: Lots of reasons Janis: they're still there, for one Jimmy: that's a point in the 'why you should' column Jimmy: don't leave me with 'em Janis: poor baby Janis: but I don't know if I can chill Jimmy: we don't chill Jimmy: so fine Janis: you gotta work Jimmy: I'm on the clock with you putting in those fake boyfriend hours Janis: but Jimmy: what? Janis: I want you Jimmy: then come back Janis: it's okay yeah Jimmy: we got interrupted last night, it's only fair we get to make up the time now Janis: it's so hard just kissing you and walking away now Jimmy: I'll be done here in a bit Jimmy: we can leave together Janis: alright Janis: they better not say shit, actually not in the mood Jimmy: I'll fake sick & you can meet me outside? Jimmy: hangover's believable Janis: where we gonna go? Jimmy: I don't know Janis: Come back to mine Jimmy: ain't there 100s of you? Janis: Yeah but rich bitch no Janis: there's places, don't worry Jimmy: alright Jimmy: but if we get interrupted again I'm fake dumping you Janis: we won't Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: where are you now? I can meet you there depending Janis: Gym Janis: had to distract myself somehow Jimmy: like I said, trying to kill ME constantly Jimmy: you're welcome for the headphones then Janis: Like I said, gotta make sure you feel it too Jimmy: you're wearing those clothes again, aren't you? Jimmy: I'll pass the news on to Mia before I go Janis: What else was I gonna wear, like Janis: sure she'll be thrilled Janis: fill in the blanks yourself though, babes Jimmy: a ballgown for all I know Jimmy: not set foot inside a gym Janis: don't let on Janis: so not #goals Janis: who they gonna take #gymselfies with Jimmy: you Jimmy: I'm ken to your barbie, Julie, basically surplus Janis: Please, I actually workout when I'm there, not stare at boys whilst also making sure I look #fit at all times pracing on the treadmill Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I can tell Janis: so 💪 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really fit Janis: shh Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna talk Jimmy: I'm leaving, don't worry Janis: Good Janis: I'm done with waiting and interruptions and other people Jimmy: where am I going? Jimmy: realised I don't know where you live Janis: Ugh, middle of bloody nowhere literally Janis: Easier if you dare to step in the gym and I'll come with Jimmy: could've sent a car for me, rich girl, or a 🐎 Jimmy: but alright Janis: 🙄 we don't have horses, thank God Janis: there is a donkey if you wanna be that dickhead, very Blackpool, init? right at home Janis: [gym location] literally, down the road and do a left, you'll see all the wankers in the window benches posing Jimmy: swap you for the dog, just kick them cats out & you'll be right Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: give you 5 mins, even as a 🚬 Jimmy: tah 💕 Jimmy: that's love Janis: it's something Janis: show you when you get here Jimmy: not what I want you to show me Jimmy: but I guess Jimmy: I'll survive Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: last night didn't help you figure it out? Janis: Got some ideas Jimmy: you'll get more Jimmy: just wait 'til I get there Janis: Inspiring Janis: thought I was meant to be the #muse Jimmy: you reckon we're a team Jimmy: I remember you saying Janis: I remember lots of things you said Janis: and everything you didn't Jimmy: won't have to repeat myself then, will I? Janis: I won't be mad if you have to repeat some things Janis: just saying Jimmy: you can do some of the exact same things too, if you want Janis: I intend to Janis: and more, better Janis: had plenty of time to think now Jimmy: just how far away is your house? I need to catch up Janis: Glad you said it 😏 Janis: like 15 on the bus 🙄 but I can tell you all about it then Janis: if I whisper, like Jimmy: 🤞 our fave grandma is there Janis: 😂 Janis: down to give her a reason to really hate Jimmy: are you even goals 'til you turn a hater into a fan? Jimmy: don't think so Janis: ew don't be tryna turn old ladies on Janis: omg, are you your ex Janis: tryna let me down gently Jimmy: there never was an ex #plot twist Jimmy: Barry is my true love Janis: damn Janis: i don't need you to be my true love though barry it's alright Jimmy: stashed the baby in the back of the CG it's why I take such long breaks Jimmy: don't even 🚬 Janis: suspiciously good with kids Janis: damn wait 'til they find out the real #tea Jimmy: 😂 Janis: imma look a fool but i hope barry isn't cheating on you, hearing that cry for help now, babe, soz 💔 Jimmy: channel it into my art, don't I? 🎻🎨 Janis: you did a good job not making me look like an old man Janis: hard to resist, I'm sure Jimmy: shoulda seen my first draft Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you do look better than I can draw you though, for real Jimmy: it ain't my preferred method or whatever Janis: yeah? Jimmy: bit rude if you don't know what is 'cause you've been spending loads of time posing for it Jimmy: means I'm shit at that too Janis: huh, no Janis: that makes perfect sense Janis: you do take a good snap Janis: also why they all thirsting, casual personal photographer 🙄 oh ladies Janis: not that you ain't fit too but you know Jimmy: we all know what the real attraction is Jimmy: keep getting more #goals me Jimmy: shame I had to be in 'em or I could've taught Mia about angles and improved her story even more Jimmy: you fucked up there, mate Jimmy: should've gone with Pete and let me film it Janis: full package, babe Janis: didn't feel like a shame, trust me Janis: though your desire to make money outta me making more and more sense #starvingartist Janis: you're the one that'll have to edit out his cum face Jimmy: hang on, you can let me know what this feels like Jimmy: [dramatic gym kiss hello] Janis: Well Jimmy: unconvincing Jimmy: [kisses her again because] Janis: Jimmy Janis: if you don't stop I'll have to start something right here Jimmy: nowt you've just said is making me want to Janis: I know Janis: Why do I want you this bad, fuck Jimmy: 💔 why wouldn't you, dickhead Janis: Shh it ain't personal Jimmy: what is it then? Jimmy: you said me Janis: I meant Janis: I don't know, this ain't exactly what I do everyday Jimmy: it should be Jimmy: you're good at it Janis: you Jimmy: us maybe Jimmy: it works Janis: Yeah Janis: that's what I mean, I think Janis: it's weird but it just does Janis: really good Jimmy: Like I said, you're weird Jimmy: 'course you like it Janis: why am i weird Jimmy: 'cause you're just Jimmy: different Jimmy: from them, from what I thought you were Jimmy: I don't know Janis: i cannot believe you thought i was one of them Janis: 😂 in what world Jimmy: not your sister, the collective them of this whole town Jimmy: you're just more like someone from before Jimmy: I can't explain it alright, shut up Janis: It's alright Janis: [Kisses him] Jimmy: we gotta go Jimmy: I can't stay here doing this and not Jimmy: I can't even finish the sentence 'cause you're like Jimmy: we just need to leave Janis: Me too Janis: Come on Janis: we just need to Janis: yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: [On bus 'cos they can't keep kissing the entire time without anything happening so reprieve] Janis: I didn't think this would happen Jimmy: why? Janis: well, you know,you were kinda a dickhead, i'm kinda a dickhead all the time Janis: this wasn't the first logical conclusion to jump to Jimmy: sort of is Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: #matchmadeinheaven Janis: 😏 when you put it in words it sounds logical Janis: grace reckoned you were using me to get to her and i knew that weren't the truth but idk Jimmy: I know what it is, you reckoned I'd be a shit kisser all big ego & worse chat Jimmy: thought you'd have to suffer through it Janis: pretty much Janis: spot on Jimmy: not the first time I've made that impression Jimmy: or proved it wrong Janis: i bet Janis: wouldn't be the first time i'd suffered through so you know Jimmy: really? Janis: 'course Janis: hasn't everyone? Jimmy: gimme names I'll put them on blast Jimmy: twitter campaign with my newly unlocked account Janis: 😂 productive Jimmy: if one is Mia especially Janis: Christ, as much as she wants to turn me so she can be vindicated in her gaybashing Janis: hell no Jimmy: her teeth could fall out & choke you Jimmy: #goals Janis: 🤢 Janis: she can't be a good lay, I don't get it Jimmy: she isn't, I can tell Jimmy: just an effortless catch Janis: yeah? guess if you ain't yourself, ideal girl Jimmy: she'll be one of those girls who just lies there Jimmy: makes you do everything & then slates you for it Janis: exactly, 'cos heaven forbid you try and chat shit back Jimmy: why is your sister friends with her? I don't get that Janis: bitches of a feather Jimmy: but when she comes in on her own she's like Jimmy: shy Jimmy: nice in a 'don't you dare look at me' way Janis: meh, she's a co-dependent Janis: always has been Jimmy: is that like a twin thing? Janis: fuck off, I don't need her Janis: see me with a Mia to chase around like a puppy? Jimmy: nah, I mean like, she needs you but you don't need her so there's Mia ready Janis: idk, maybe Janis: i think anyone can be like that, some people can't hack being alone but it probably done help that she weren't even in the womb, yeah 🙄 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: my brother & sister need me Jimmy: it's exhausting but I can't not do it Janis: they are kids though, that's excusable, like Janis: still hardwork, no doubt Jimmy: Cass ain't much younger than me though Janis: yeah but gracie has two perfectly lovely parents and an array of brothers and sisters and various fam about, if she's that arsed, know what i mean Janis: being close makes sense when its small like you gotta Janis: she don't need to be how she is on me Jimmy: I'm being a dickhead & you're being spot on Jimmy: I just want her to settle in, you know what I mean Janis: you're alright, most people think it 'cos loads of twins are freaky joined at the hip, so that's what she reckons she wants too but tough shit, you know, didn't ask to be born with her Janis: 'course Janis: it must be shit Janis: she'll be alright, it's that age where everyone's sorta stil mates, not dead separate Janis: she can hold her own Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: least my dad timed it better for them than he did for me Janis: you know Janis: parents are cunts Janis: our older sister had to do so much for us 'til she got sick of and fucked off basically Jimmy: hang on while I tweet that wisdom & @ him Jimmy: yeah he has twitter honestly Janis: cringe Janis: probs subtweeting 'bout me this morning like 👋 Jimmy: I don't reckon he knows what he's doing on it Jimmy: just wants to tell his girlfriends how relevant he stays Janis: can't really slide into someone's fucking linked in Janis: 'less it's with a business offer Jimmy: he does like to mix business and pleasure Jimmy: many an office romance Janis: 😬 Janis: always a good idea Jimmy: I told you, keeps jobs only slightly longer than he does lasses Jimmy: it's all connected, mate Janis: effort Janis: least i can ask to move seats Janis: can't be like, sack debbie from accounts bye Jimmy: don't be trying to have me expelled when school starts Janis: alright, thought you'd be buzzin' but i'll go Janis: cba Jimmy: I wanna go 'cause its bollocks not 'cause they've told me to Jimmy: more of a fuck you to my dad that way Janis: rebel with a cause okay 😍 Jimmy: I'm just saying he'd love it if I got kicked out so he can pretend he's right about what a waste of space I am Jimmy: like I don't do everything he can't be bothered to Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: seriously though Janis: that's just shitty adult speak for 'do my job for me' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I keep telling him that I reckon Bobby needs to like talk to someone or some shit but nah, I'll do the work for free Jimmy: qualified fucking child therapist me Janis: duh, got that PHD done between CG and school and full-time childcare Janis: 'cos when nothing happens, or only bad does, can blame you Janis: not deal with how some of it's likely on him Janis: and sorting it fully is, what can you do, or poor Bobby Jimmy: just worry bout him all the time 👍 Jimmy: tah dad really helpful Janis: useless, all parents are Jimmy: didn't wanna sleep in my own bed or get a decent night of it anyway Jimmy: it's fine Janis: but if you complain, you're selfish, yeah? when it ain't complaining for sake of, you just want something actually done Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: & fucked if I wanna stay with you or have you over Jimmy: how dare I Janis: how wild, a teenage boy with urges Janis: right for him though 'cos his roof and all that Jimmy: & new house new rules Jimmy: 'cause that makes sense Janis: 🙄 Janis: only stupid people would have kids, that's my theory Janis: if you had a brain, and could be sorta in change of another human, you wouldn't want to Jimmy: @ Barry next time, babe Janis: fuck you Barry, coming for your mans too and what Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: how do you do that? Jimmy: make me laugh when everything is still shit Janis: Just my renowned personality that Janis: everyone reckons, like 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he does reckon, sorry bus peeps] Janis: Welcome Jimmy: when I don't say it that means you don't either, dickhead Janis: soz, new to this friends malarkey, like Jimmy: #friendzoned Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: you need reminding of what we're about to do Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: I do need to shut up & stop throwing my emotional baggage at you, very ungoals Janis: [Kisses him for the reminder and 'cos] Janis: Not to shut you up 'cos nah Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but its alright Janis: got plenty of baggage to throw at you should you ever wanna even that score Janis: but I ain't telling so far as the world is concerned we're both 🥇 Jimmy: It's like I said last night, I don't mind talking to you but not this second Jimmy: I just want Janis: What? Jimmy: just kiss me again Janis: [More] Jimmy: I'm not saying tah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😏 Janis: Glad to hear that ain't what you say after Janis: would have been a struggle to act my way over that Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: what was it you said? Very polite very un me Janis: Something like that Jimmy: I'll try & call you by the right name though Jimmy: not let any Barry's slip out Janis: 😑 please try Janis: no convincing myself I heard you wrong Janis: ego can't hack that, like 🤷 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🖕 Janis: could at least give me false promises now, boy Jimmy: no fake shit Jimmy: not for this Janis: deal Jimmy: [kisses her again cos yolo bitches] Janis: that was real? Janis: shit Jimmy: or how we make deals in the north, Irish girl Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 😏 as amusing as the mental image of business bro dickheads getting off with each other literal to seal a deal is Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: just don't think about my dad or we've got a problem Janis: no danger Janis: safe to say the feeling's mutual too Jimmy: least you'll be long rid of me before I start to look like him Jimmy: again, welcome Janis: 👍 Janis: baz can have you back Jimmy: he'll be dead Jimmy: come on Jimmy: life expectancy of 61 up north & that's if you try Janis: 😂 whoops Janis: pine then bitch Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: black's my colour anyway so sorted Janis: mhmm, buzzin' for it, I know Janis: welcome again Janis: i really fucked your neck up didn't i [touches] Jimmy: I okayed it before & during, didn't I? Janis: okayed during is an understatement but i'll allow it Janis: save your blushes Jimmy: I didn't have the blood spare for 😳 Janis: such a waste Janis: all the times you've turned me on in public Jimmy: how many? you can round up or whatever school ain't started Janis: Let me think Janis: I don't know, every time we've met up, before you've even kissed me half the time Janis: sometimes just when we've been talking like this, you're hot Jimmy: Where are we if we stop the bus and get off right now? Jimmy: 'Cause I really want to properly turn you on now you've said that Janis: Umm no neighbourhood I know, babe Janis: we've got all afternoon Janis: patience 😘 Jimmy: I'm too northern for that Janis: Excuse for everything 😏 Jimmy: if I'm gonna be dead in 40 odd years that's the only excuse I need Janis: Cheery 😉 Janis: go on then Janis: don't waste any more time, see how turned on I am now [moves hands winkwonk] Jimmy: [saucy activities ensue like I'm surprised ruster don't appear like don't steal our thunder bitch] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ?? Janis: just practicing Janis: can't say it out loud right now Jimmy: practicing trying to kill me, yeah? alright Janis: you don't need no practice, clearly Jimmy: #muse remember Janis: you're good let's do this all day Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if I get cramp and can't sling a latte tomorrow, on your head Janis: what do i care, i don't drink 'em Janis: 😈 Jimmy: that's the most #goals thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: as far as my personal ones go Janis: the ones we're keeping off the 'gram Jimmy: yeah Janis: do need to think of a non-cringe way to hype up how good you are though, don't get it twisted ladies 😍 Jimmy: while you're thinking Jimmy: [keeps being a saucy bastard cos no chill] Janis: Oh my God Janis: please, I need to bite you some more Jimmy: shit, I've never heard you say please before Jimmy: real or fake Janis: too real, you got me polite as you want, come on or this bus is gonna hear my prettiest too Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: alright Janis: you taste so Jimmy: if its anything like how you taste then I Janis: i wish we had more time i just wanna climb on top of you and Janis: but we're about 3 stops away now Jimmy: [moves her himself 'cause he's cheeky like that] Jimmy: and what? Janis: fuck me Janis: we're gonna get in trouble Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: I'll get in trouble for you, it don't matter Jimmy: if anyone asks I'll just say it's all fake Janis: you feel pretty real under me right now Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: I thought I liked kissing you but this is Janis: I want it all Janis: so fucking much I didn't know I could this bad Jimmy: like you said, we've got all afternoon Janis: not long enough Janis: it's a start Jimmy: warn me if you're gonna say shit like that so I can warn everyone on this bus how I'll react Janis: Not sorry Janis: only sorry it's not School time so we could bunk and have all day without feeling bad Jimmy: excuse me while I turn it into a laugh/cry 🎭 Jimmy: don't mind me everyone, rehearsing my death scene Janis: They're all impressed, can't hide it Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: impressed by you Jimmy: you look Janis: Nah only you Jimmy: take the compliment, Janis Janis: Okay Janis: as you remembered my name, like Jimmy: I said I'd try Janis: I'm impressed by your efforts too, don't worry Janis: not gonna go unrewarded Jimmy: [kisses just because] Janis: How do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: make kissing Janis: good Jimmy: I told you, you're good at it Jimmy: I take pretend it's all me Jimmy: can't* Janis: Suppose so Janis: doesn't say much for everyone else I've kissed but maybe I was shit then Jimmy: like I said, gimme the list Jimmy: they must've been fucking it up 'cause you're Jimmy: you're just not shit Janis: thanks Janis: sorry everyone but not really, ain't that deep Jimmy: were you really surprised when we first kissed or just me Janis: No, I was like Janis: you're gonna think I'm cringe or just saying it but I didn't know it could feel like that Janis: that's why it's got me thinking on everyone else, like what the fuck lads, why were you holding out Jimmy: I get it, I didn't expect it to feel like this either Jimmy: fuck you, Barry, honestly Janis: 😂 Janis: For real Janis: like, it wasn't even 'cos I thought you'd be shit really Janis: idk Janis: weird Jimmy: I didn't think you'd be shit Jimmy: for the record Jimmy: just not into it Janis: 🤷 Oops Janis: that's what I expected and intended too, I guess, just a deal, like Janis: but Janis: just feels too good Jimmy: We've still got a deal Jimmy: only it's changed a bit Jimmy: now it includes getting to finish what I started without some dickhead interrupting me Janis: Please Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause she said please again it makes him die] Janis: [Misses stop 'cos really, has to get off at next one] Janis: That was your fault Jimmy: yours too Jimmy: I don't know the stops, girl Jimmy: you've got one job, I was doing mine Janis: Hmm well perhaps if yours wasn't distracting me you could be doing your REAL job by now 😒 Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call how you felt, go on Janis: Hush, you cannot break my concentration now Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: Farm town, boyo Janis: you ever fucked in a barn before? Jimmy: how would I? Jimmy: you know where I'm from Janis: idk how adventurous your life has been Jimmy: it ain't been well travelled Jimmy: til now Janis: you're welcome for the detour Jimmy: how long 'til we're back where we need to be? Janis: Only 5 if you keep up Janis: wasn't THAT distracted, soz Jimmy: let me get some blood circulating and stop being brutal Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👍 lets go Janis: Do your best to sneak, yeah, God knows who's about Jimmy: easy for you to say, still so quiet on that bus somehow Jimmy: like a horny mute Janis: piss off Janis: that's such an unsexy thing to call me you bastard Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: it's impressive Janis: it's just self-control Jimmy: what's it gonna take to make you lose it? Janis: Maybe you'll find out Jimmy: I will Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if it takes me longer than this afternoon, then fine Janis: you wanna do this again Janis: not this exact scenario, detour included like Jimmy: do you? Janis: you always do that Janis: answer questions with questions Janis: sly Jimmy: that still ain't an answer from you Janis: yeah Janis: i wanna Janis: i like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: don't be weird about it Jimmy: weirder Janis: forever a dickhead Jimmy: piss off it's a compliment, how many times Janis: 😂 okay okay Janis: i get it, you like weird Janis: i like dickheads, namely you though Jimmy: bet you love yourself, you massive dickhead Jimmy: I like you & you happen to be weird, it's not a fetish or owt Janis: do actually 💪 Janis: got my own name tattooed on my arse, like Jimmy: 📷 one for the insta then Jimmy: least it'll help me remember it Janis: That's why I got it Janis: saves a conversation Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: trying to be mad at you for making us miss our stop Janis: you know you can't be mad at this face Janis: or this arse Jimmy: [kisses her and touches the booty 'cause true] Janis: See Janis: 😍 Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: can make me in a minute Jimmy: I can make you now Jimmy: if you're gonna keep on Janis: Back to being mute Janis: thought you wanted to hear some noise, contrary Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Janis: ❓ Jimmy: [starts being saucy to try and get her to make noise] Janis: You know how much I like to win, yeah? Jimmy: as much as me Janis: Oh baby Janis: you wish 😏 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [cranks his naughty behaviour up a notch which makes me lol like where even are you lads? calm down] Janis: You know I have to live 'round here, right Jimmy: you do, I don't Jimmy: you know how to make me stop Janis: Bastard Jimmy: just stop holding it in Janis: I don't know if I'll be able to stop if I do Jimmy: I don't want you to stop Jimmy: do you? Janis: No but Jimmy: you want everything, gimme this Jimmy: [more sauciness 'cause] Janis: [is loud, hopefully no one is about lol] Jimmy: Fuck Jimmy: you really were holding out on me, weren't you? Janis: It's just Janis: embarrassing Jimmy: It's just amazing Janis: No bullshitting? Jimmy: I said I wouldn't Janis: Okay good Jimmy: You're so hot Jimmy: how you look, feel, taste, sound Jimmy: I just want it Janis: You're Janis: I don't know why but I'm not gonna question it because I want you just as much Janis: More Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: We need to keep walking Jimmy: yeah Janis: I don't want to either but I need you to fuck me so Jimmy: It's alright, I need it too Jimmy: we can do this Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Fake dating begins!

Janis: Grace wants to buy you a coffee for being such a gent. Janis: If I was you I'd have a freebie black and charge it to her tab. Her and her cronies are in there enough, and it'll save you having to endure a frappe/her and said giggling gal pals. Jimmy: Me and her or a group hang with the BBs for the 'gram? Jimmy: 👍I did that last week and the one before Janis: Depends. She obvs wants alone time with you but she's never passed up a #goals photo-op in her life, so. Janis: Can't be freeing the nip on Insta but maybe she's got a private snapchat she wants to whore out, you'll be well in then 👍 Janis: Christ. Good to know not ALL her money goes on Brazilian blow-outs, she's also topping up the salary of every hot barista in town, what a philanthropist she is, amongst other less favourable titles. Jimmy: If you can be arsed to 3rd wheel this I'll shout you something from the secret menu Jimmy: Which exists swear down and isn't just a invite to my snapchat Jimmy: Why am I worried Brazilian blow outs is a way bigger euphemism any day Janis: Hmm. As much as I try to avoid spending ANY time with Grace, for obvious reasons as you well know, it could be pretty amusing to see her make such a twat out of herself. And it would piss her off if I gatecrashed...Fuck it, I'm in. Janis: Don't get any ideas about making some taboo twin content though, lad, that only happens in the minds of pervy porn execs, and in weird old lady novels from the 80s. Janis: Lol. Yeah, it ain't a Cavante special. Its to make her look MORE white, funnily enough. As if the coffee habits and UGGs weren't making her a literal meme for the cause already. Jimmy: I'd rather down a strawberry açaí refresher with coconut milk every time Grace makes a gaff, which funnily enough is what necking with your sister's tall mate tastes like, than get sandwiched between the two of you Jimmy: I'd shout her a flat white if she'd get the joke though. One for each of them Jimmy: 😩 Janis: OMG, girl code, Grace sooooo saw you first, Tammy is gonna be out on her flat white arse when Gracie finds out, like 💀 Janis: The feeling's mutual, dickhead. Wouldn't put it past my sister though, she's more obsessed with me than she'd EVER be with you. 🤢 At least she'll be moving on when you finally give in and give it to her, I've got a life fucking sentence, mate. ⚰ Jimmy: OMG Minnie (??? Isn't that her name maybe) launched herself at me first and I'd be out on my penniless arse if I'd let her crack on over the counter ⛔ Jimmy: I like my encounters with a little less ego it's no crime. Or slight on you, mate. Jimmy: I'll tell Gracie that if she ever lets me get a word in. Janis: Fuck knows. All look the same to me. Ironic if it is, though, fucking jolly green giantess. Janis: And soz but sexual assault ain't no crime either when you're them though, they're just being #girlbosses swear down garda 💋 Janis: Good luck with that one, kid. Even if she gives you the chance, she won't be listening. Fucks with the fairytale where you shut the fuck up and carry her bags 'cept to call her pretty once in a while for said ego's boost. 🙊🙉 Janis: oh, and look good in the 'gram, standard. Jimmy: Could be what the lads call her... whoops Jimmy: Damn. I'll have to spoil her fun by letting it be known I've got myself a girl already. 🎻 Shame it'll take me years to find one who can stand the interrogation 💔 Jimmy: Gotta get Cass to keep her ear low. Effort. Janis: The 'lad's' secret is safe with me, the 'girls' are hardly likely to listen and I'm even less likely to bother to tell 'em. She'd just think #pussygamestrong 'neway so I ain't giving the bint that unwarrant stroke when you've all already been there, done that. Sloppy. Janis: Woe is, lad. Like everyone ain't on your dick rn 'cos you got that shiny, new appeal. Just pick one that ain't TOTALLY unbearable- ah, I see your problem. Janis: Sadly, I can't help, I ain't the massive lezza you've no doubt heard from the lads and girls alike that I am. Janis: Slim pickings either way you swinging, you see. Jimmy: You can help me then. Go on. Think how mad it'd make Gracie if nuffin' else Jimmy: Counter distance between us at all times if you want Janis: Aside from pissing off my sister, which I'm more than capable of by me larry, what's in it for me? You get her off your dick and back into Costa to cry it out, like Jimmy: Freebies of any of Common Grounds finest where you can also hang without her and her hangers on Jimmy: Semi trained mutt if I can wrench it from my sisters grasping hands? Jimmy: Plus an end to the rumors if you're arsed about that. You said yourself I've got the newbie appeal Janis: Alright, alright, you had me at dog! Janis: I won't deprive your sister but I could do with an AM running partner who can keep up. I'll wear it out and have it back to you at the end of your morning shift, before she's even had her weetabix or found her school tie. Deal? Janis: I'm down for writing our own rumours, why the fuck not, eh Jimmy: Done. Her name's Twix and she's as annoying as the name makes her sound. Jimmy: Get ready for rumors about how many bodies she's buried for you after all the holes dug Janis: Cute. And I'm sure I've dealt with worse bitches, I'm up for the challenge. 💪 Janis: Its always the dog walkers init, suspicious cunts. Jimmy: Yeah, and if you wanna bury a few of 'em yourself I'll keep my lips sealed Jimmy: Tomorrow too soon? Janis: Good man, you will if you know what's good for you. Janis: Though, not too sealed, gotta set this dump's/my sister's world alight, like, and I don't think that's happening if we just hold hands. 😲 Janis: Nah, I'm ready. Only thing I got scheduled is double chem and that can always do with livening up. Janis: How you wanna do this, lover boy? Jimmy: Point taken. I better work on my angles too. For the 'gram. Jimmy: With minimal cliches if that can even be a thing round 'ere Jimmy: Probably wouldn't believe it without 100s would they Janis: You best, I don't know how to work facetime, you've got the wrong twin there. Janis: Well, I could oh-so casually ask Grace if her and the bitch squad are going for coffee on the way home from hell (as if they don't every fucking day) and she will be buzzin' thinking I wanna come 'cos she's always asking/attempting to drag me like she's on a mission from the coffee bean gods Janis: Then we can be there, together, oh-so casually again Janis: Aside from sucking face on the playground (which is a little first school, even for these hoes) its the best way to get max attention and thus the rumour mill will do the rest Jimmy: Make sure Tall Tammy's at the back. Can't have Grace missing it Jimmy: See if you can get one of them to spill coffee on you too. Everyone loves a heroic gesture and a clothes share 😏 Janis: 😂 Brilliant. Janis: Assuming Grace doesn't straight up throw it at me, I'll be sure to make that happen. Janis: I'll probably come chat to you at lunch tomorrow too. Can't have this springing out of nowhere, like, how implausible! 😏 You hang with Sean Bryne and that atm, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah we'll be in the smoking spot if not our usual corner Jimmy: I'll slide into the seat beside you the period after make it look like we got it really bad 💘 Janis: 👍 twos up on the ☠ 🚬 then, lad. what could be more romantic? Janis: good thinking, grace is in that class too and she's hopeless with maths so she won't be paying the slightest bit of attention to anything but the absolute scandal Jimmy: What should I call you so you don't wanna punch me in the dick as soon as I go in for a pet name? Janis: Eurgh, good shout, even if it is just to save your own bollocks, can't blame a boy. I don't fucking know, what's not vomit-inducing but also #couplegoals enough to make it worth the hassle? Janis: Blah, just remember my name, yeah, that'll have 'em creaming. Such courtesies are not often extended their way, like. Jimmy: Deal. And I'll # everything #JJ so you can block it from your feed easy Janis: Solid. Janis: Imma take a picture with your dog tomorrow, it best be fucking cute. Jimmy: [Takes a selfie with Twix and sends it] Do you? Jimmy: Not my #goals but should spark jealousy with the intended Janis: Cute. Janis: The dog ain't bad either. 😉 Janis: I'm getting in practice Jimmy: I'll do mine in the comments when it's posted Jimmy: How keen is cringe in the eyes of Gracie and her friends? Janis: You're asking a mouthful there. If you're too nice, they'll say you're boring. But they've gotta at least pretend they're feminists in this day and age so if you are too full of the bants and low-key treating me like shit, they're gonna have to pretend they ain't here for that even though that's every boyf they've ever had, na'mean? Janis: Just say something confusingly inappropriate for what is not gonna be a hot pic, isn't that how you lads do? Janis: I'll set you up with a lame caption Jimmy: Thanks. There's back room access in it for you Jimmy: Again not a private snapchat invite Janis: Steady on there, not until the 3rd date, at least! 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Seriously though. You're not as much of a bitch as everyone says. Nice one. Janis: Well, don't be spreading that backhander about, will ya? Janis: You've got a rep to make, that's a bit of mine I'd like to protect Jimmy: 🤐