cardonaldchub

[sage-lights]

the struggle of writing fics and hating them the entire way through and trying to still complete them 🤕

[svtdarlingbby]

Let's Start Some Rumors- The8xidol!Reader - Part 1

pairing: The8 x reader genre: idol au warnings: occasional cursing word count: 1,189

Summary: You and Minghao are both releasing singles the same month. Competing for the spotlight is hard, but how about sharing the spotlight?

The past few weeks have been busy to say the least. It was the first comeback after your debut as a soloist; while your debut was even more successful than predicted you knew that meant you had to make your comeback even better. Running between the dance studio, music video set, and recording studio with occasional stops to get your makeup and costume done has been hectic. Even though you couldn't have asked for more, living the dream had you busy.

Through it all however your friend Minghao aka The8 from Seventeen had your back through it all. He was just as busy as you since he was also releasing his solo this month however he made time to review your performance and give you tips. Even the smiles you exchanged while passing by him in the halls as you two attended your respective sessions was enough to reassure you through the comeback process. In fact, he even found the time to watch you perform the final scene for your music video.

You finished the final note of your comeback song, smiling even brighter as you realized this was the last of the comeback prep you had to complete. The cheers from the staff also elevated your mood!

"Great job Y/N!" cheered your manager as she hugged you as soon as the camera cut.

"Thank you manager Lina!" you smiled as you hugged her back.

"I'll get in contact with the editor ASAP. Thanks for your hard work!" she said and scurried off before you could interject.

Looking off to where your manager ran off to, you were surprised to be suddenly faced with Minghao.

"Hey Y/N, don't forget about me! You did great! Your comeback is gonna be so successful!" he said as he held up a fist to you.

"Yo Minghao! I could never! Thank you for coming!" you said, fist bumping him back. "By the way, are you done preparing for your comeback?"

"I've just gotta review the music video with the crew and edit anything before it's published!" he said handing you a bottle of water which you appreciated. The set lights are hot as hell.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you too Hao! Although it's kinda weird that you're more prepared for your comeback even though mine is first," you mentioned as you two walked through the pastel set.

"Eh maybe it's just me who wants to get stuff done early as possible," he shrugged. "But you got this. I'm gonna make the boys stream your song"

"Oh my gosh they don't have too!" you laughed and playfully pushed his shoulder.

"Hey, don't think I don't have any conditions. You better be streaming my song 13 times more!" he smirked.

"Xu Minghao I cannot with you" you playfully rolled your eyes and walked away from him.

"Y/N come back!" he whined teasingly.

"My comback's not until next Friday!" you joked, picking up your pace.

"GODDAMMIT Y/N YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!"

You and Minghao's childish antics had the two of you erupting in laughter that echoed across the pastel music video set. You guys were just like teenagers, so full of life. That did not go unnoticed by your manager Lina and Minghao's manager.

Friday arrived faster than you expected and you felt all of the emotions. Your heart beat in excitement, nervousness, fear, and anticipation. How you wished your fans and listeners in general would fall in love with your new song you worked so hard to accomplish.

However, your hopes were shattered by the end of the day. You were thankful to have so many loyal fans buy your album and watch your music video, however numbers were still low. Lower than your debut. You found yourself glued to your phone screen that day, scrolling through various social media platforms to see what everyone had to say.

@Y/NsSmile: Y/N's comeback is sooo good! C'mon guys let’s stream their song!

@hater239: why would we stream a mediocre queen? yeah the song's okay but like her company sucked at promotion

@592luvY/N: first of all, fuck you. second of all I hate that I'm agreeing with you that HYBE could've done a better job at promoting Y/N :\

@Y/NsSmile: yeah I think the numbers would've been higher with better promotions like her debut but come on guys keep streaming!

@kpopstanrocks1244: wait Y/N had a comeback??

Interactions like these were pretty consistent through all of the social media platforms. Even the haters saw what was wrong. You weren't being promoted as much as your debut. Maybe HYBE thought the hype from your debut would carry over into your comeback? It looks like the complete opposite was happening. Feeling bummed out, you kind of isolated yourself aside from Tweeting your fans your genuine thanks for their consistent support. Just as you were about to try and sleep this feeling off, you received a text from Minghao.

Minghao: Hey Y/N, I'm so proud of you. Numbers aren't everything. Quality artists and their songs are more worth it, just like you

Despite your unhopeful mood, you felt yourself smile at his kind message.

Y/N: Hey Minghao, don't worry about it! Thank you so much for the support seriously. I hope your comeback doesn't flop lol

Minghao: bruh you're not gonna flop. it'll be fine. please take care!

Y/N: ur too kind Minghao, thank you

The short conversation ended there before you went to bed. You'd have to wake up early for some meetings and some more attempts to promote your song later tomorrow.

The next morning came quickly and you still felt groggy. The euphoria from your debut did not transfer to your comeback. Begrudgingly, you made it to the meeting room where your manager Lina told you to meet her and the higher ups. In all honesty, you wanted this meeting to end quickly since you knew you might be berated for the low numbers despite having no control over pre-comeback promotion.

"Hello-" you said as you entered the room but cut yourself off at the sight of Minghao in the meeting room.

"Good morning Y/N, take a seat" said manager Lina.

You sat down and the meeting began.

"So as we all know, Y/N's comeback did not perform as planned," said the head manager.

"Sheesh, isn't that the elephant in the room?" you thought but nonetheless tried to pay attention, averting Minghao's gaze.

"These numbers are appalling, however the comeback is still salvageable," said the head manager.

"How, sir?" asked manager Lina knowingly.

"Well, we know that Minghao's comeback in next week and we don't want the same happening to him. And we don't want to lose profit on Y/N's poor comeback. So we need publicity," said the head manager.

"Right, so Lina and the head manager have devised a plan involving both Minghao and Y/N," said Minghao's manager.

"What does the plan involve?" you asked as you glanced over at Minghao who seemed just as confused.

"We're going to create a dating scandal between Y/N and Minghao"

"WHAT?!!??"

part 2

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: A Tale of Thousand Stars Loving Rewatch Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I write about my LOVING rewatch of one of the best BLs out there, ever, in A Tale of Thousand Stars.]

While I’ve been in the midst of a plethora of awesome new shows (Only Friends, Dangerous Romance), I’ve also been treating myself with some oldies. I just wrapped up a rewatch of Until We Meet Again, to prep for New Siwaj’s Absolute Zero that’s coming out this fall. And one of the joys that I set for myself in the course of structuring the Old GMMTV Challenge was to allow myself some loving rewatches of shows that I originally first consumed out of any chronological order, and/or out of total curiosity for the amount of space they generally take up on a daily basis on Tumblr, and/or for the amount of times that I had seen these particular shows listed as top examples of genre-defining or genre-transcending BLs. Those shows include Bad Buddy (of course), and A Tale of Thousand Stars.

Way, WAY back in the day -- November 2022, to be exact -- just a couple months into my joining Tumblr and actively blogging, I realized that this show called Moonlight Chicken was being bandied about excitedly, mostly in part because EarthMix and FirstKhao were going to be in it. I was intrigued, excited to participate in my first active Tumblr fandom from beginning to end, and I asked the Tumblr gods -- oh hey, should I watch A Tale of Thousand Stars first, to get to know Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap first? And the answer was YES, so I did, and I totally loved it.

And of course, I look back at that review from almost a year ago, and I giggle, because while I picked up on a lot of the raw elements that make ATOTS great, I didn't have ANY context for why the show was transcendent vis à vis pre-existing BL tropes in the Thai BL genre, what it meant to be watching a classic Backaof Noppharnach show, what it meant for the show to be set in Northern Thailand, etc. I even wrote -- oh wow, I see why some of the elders on Tumblr are saying that there are shows way better than KinnPorsche out there (LOL, oh, hindsight). I didn't have any of that context.

Now, I do. And during my recent ATOTS rewatch, I just ATE, ATE, ATE, oh my god, I just sat and fucking ENJOYED this FABULOUS drama. I was yelling and gesturing to the screen -- oh god, WHY are you SO GOOD, YOU SHOW, YOU?! Man, oh man. It was a shit-ton of fun to start rewatching dramas that I already have nostalgia for, even if I only saw them for the first time last year.

Besides rewatching some of these important dramas back in chronological order through the OGMMTVC, I also have a mission in mind: to properly rewatch ATOTS and Bad Buddy before rewatching Our Skyy 2, which I've been wanting to do for a while. That rewatch will take place after I rewatch Bad Buddy in a couple of weeks. And I'm glad I waited until I could consume Aof's entire oeuvre, because I think his whole slate of shows -- not just ATOTS and BBS -- give us clues as to what was happening by way of Pat and Pran's relationship in OS2 before their physical separation in BBS that further explain the ATOTS and BBS universes. But more on this in a few weeks, when I get to my BBS and OS2 reviews.

Back to ATOTS. As I rewatched it -- in the context of the OGMMTVC, and what I've learned about the Thai television BL genre NOW, what were the elements of this show that stood out the most for me?

1) The striking use of flashbacks to tell a story. I know NOW shows that haven't used flashbacks as well to tell a compelling narrative -- for me, most recently, the biggest example is Double Savage (and maybe even KinnPorsche goes up there, too). Before ATOTS premiered, I think the BL that used flashbacks the BEST in its narrative was Until We Meet Again, which *needed* flashbacks to tell the entire scope of its intricate story, from past to present.

Something that I forgot about ATOTS until my rewatch was how very PACED the show was. I think I had it in my head that it was a slow-ish story, because -- again, it bucked a lot of BL trends and tropes, just like He's Coming To Me also did. No side couples. No university setting. No warring faculties and uniforms. When I first wrote about ATOTS in December 2022 -- after having watched The Eclipse as my first GMMTV BL -- I marveled at the singular storyline of Tian's life change and journey. There was a LOT we needed to know about Tian to GET where he was going, and where he wanted to go. What I didn't appreciate back then was how Aof TOLD the story.

Sure -- it could have frustrated some folks that we didn't get the truth of who was driving the car until much later in the series. But that would be missing the point of that piece of truth. Tian had blamed himself for Torfun's death the second he learned about it. It didn't *quite* matter who was driving the car -- what mattered was the self-blame he assigned himself to, and the journey he thought he needed to take to absolve himself of the guilt that he carried.

The structure was beyond sharp, and just INCREDIBLY compelling. Between UWMA and ATOTS, we have two tremendous dramas that flirted with VERY risky past-to-future infrastructures, and both succeeded exceedingly well.

2) Phupha and Tian's TERRIBLE communication. I'm serious! Oh my god, y'all. Did we appreciate back then how AWFUL they are at communicating? HA! Our Skyy 2 obviously emphasized this even more -- Tian himself accuses Phupha of not being open enough to tell Tian why Phupha won't meet Tian's parents.

But, holy shit, these two guys are such drama bastards. By episode 9, I had to write in my notes, in all caps: THESE ASSHOLES ARE SUCH AWFUL COMMUNICATORS. If one person wasn't angry at the other, and avoiding the other person, then something was off in their world. Tian's titchyness, Phupha's avoidance, played against each other like opposing magnets.

And yet: of course, we know WHY they are bad communicators. We know that Phupha grew up in a traditional, rural household -- one that likely wasn't welcoming to his inner truth as a queer man.

Tian grew up in a privileged and patriarchal household that disguised itself as a matriarchal household. Now THAT shit's confusing. What Tian was to do with his life, as assigned by his parents, supposedly came from his mom -- but it was his dad that enforced those rules. Who could Tian go to to talk about his own growing inner truth as well? Not to either of his parents, who both had designs on who *exactly* Tian should be by way of their own demands and outward-facing lives.

So these two men -- both of whom barely had any practice in expressing their inner truths, their raw feelings about themselves, their life situations, and each other -- are figuring out their emotional shit vis à vis each other, for the first time in their lives. And what we get, gloriously, is a whole bunch of damn hilarious drama that left me shaking my head and laughing a bunch. They were SO passive-aggressive with each other, I had to applaud EarthMix.

And through their bad communication came so many resolutions to each storyline -- the illegal merchants, the revelation of Torfun's death and the story behind it -- that what we ultimately got to see were life-defining moments for both Tian and Phupha of utter growth. The trade-off between those dramatic anguishes and the TRUE drama of the show itself -- was well worth it, and brilliantly done.

3) The metaphor of freedom. We know, now, that Bad Buddy was existing in the same world as ATOTS.

God, I LOVE what Aof pulled in Our Skyy 2 by way of the Nong Nao eye mask (Tian even wears the Nong Nao eye mask!) -- because in rewatching ATOTS, I would have NEVER clocked that Tian was talking about his own freedom through his OWN eye mask.

We know now that Tian and Pran, in their respective shows, were on their own paths to freedom -- both from demanding families that demanded that each of them comport to absolute idealistic images of what perfect sons DID in those family structures. Both Tian and Pran have overbearing mothers with complicit fathers who demand exacting obedience. And both Tian and Pran ultimately sought freedom from that pressure.

In episode 9, I clocked a message on Tian's tote bag -- I can't get a clear-enough screenshot of it (it's in the 3/4 segment), but the tote bag says, "what is the meaning of free?" All of ATOTS is based on Tian's journey to emotional freedom -- freedom from his parents' expectations, freedom from the guilt he carries from Torfun's death.

An interesting comparison to UWMA happens in episode 5, when Tian asks about his growing feelings towards Phupha: "I don't know if these feelings are mine or Torfun's." And, of course -- combine that with what Tian needs to reckon with at the cliff in episode 9, when Tian is struggling with figuring how who's life he's truly living. As Tian separates himself from his parents -- as Tian understands his needs vs. Torfun's needs -- what Tian's struggle ultimately comes down to is, who is he really living his life for? Torfun saved him, his parents bought him the transplant -- but what does that actually mean for the meaning that Tian brings to his own life, and to the lives of others, including Phupha?

What Tian ultimately realizes is that needs freedom from the influence of everyone and everything around him to gain clarity as to who HE truly is. That, to me, is the ultimate core message of ATOTS -- it is Tian's defining journey towards the freedom that only he himself can find, vis à vis Torfun, Phupha, and Pha Pun Dao.

But because Aof is so good at wrenching our hearts with every last bit of energy he’s got: he showed us that Tian was able to come to this conclusion, ultimately, through Phupha, and Phupha's love for Tian.

ATOTS is a wonderful coming-of-age story, but without the typical cheesiness that that structure can often bring. It's a story of individual and internal change that we know gets echoed, expanded, and transformed in Bad Buddy through Pran. I see now that ATOTS and Bad Buddy are Aof's deep studies of internal maturing, both told through queer revelations, through empathic love with a rock-solid partner, and through fights against oppressive societal and familial resistances to living one's full truth.

Way, way back when -- and thank goodness for the OGMMTVC for allowing me to dive into this -- Aof depicted queer men living their very robust truths in Gay OK Bangkok. As I wrote in my GOKB review, what happened after the premiere of GOKB is that Aof went to the BL genre to begin slowly changing it, to make the genre a true home for real queer revelation and introspection. Did he ever nail it in ATOTS. Did he ever expand it in BBS. Watching ATOTS felt like coming home, because once again (as in HCTM) -- Aof defied typical expectations of the genre to get honest about what an internal reality of being queer could really be like. And to do that in Thai television BL, with all the tropes and expectations the genre had created by the time of ATOTS's airing in 2021, was remarkable.

Hearing the theme song, seeing Pha Pun Dao and the villagers (AND THE CHILDREN! I LOVE THOSE CHILDREN!), seeing the schoolhouse, seeing Earth in his forest ranger uniform, hearing the original source of the forest ranger t-shirt joke, seeing Rang and Yod again -- man, was it ever nostalgic to rewatch ATOTS, even after having seen the guys in Our Skyy 2. This show is SUCH a classic, SUCH a must-watch of the very highest order, and the fact that it does NOT shy away from a very real and difficult emotional journey is only just a part of what makes it one of the enduring diamonds of Thai BL.

[We'll return to Pha Pun Dao in a couple weeks once I get through my Bad Buddy and Our Skyy 2 rewatches -- stay tuned!

In the meantime, my review of Lovely Writer is on deck for next week. By far this is my favorite Tee Bundit drama. For the sake of my fellow drama clowns, I am giving I Feel You Linger in the Air a shot, but the editing choices are giving me slight Step By Step-PTSD. I'm gonna keep a close eye on this one.

But Lovely Writer is Tee's anomaly, and what a fabulously genius anomaly it is. I can't wait to get into it, and if you loved it, too, and you have NOT watched the Lovely Writer special episode, PLEASE watch the special ep, as I'll be referring to it -- it has a super important conclusion that wraps up the entire series beautifully.

A heads-up that I may need to take a week's break or so in early September.... hopefully I won't, but I am moving, so while I'm ahead on a few dramas, getting pen to paper has proven difficult by way of time. Hopefully this project won't be delayed too much -- but send me your best big ups nonetheless as I move domiciles!

In the meantime, here's the list -- as always, I welcome your feedback! (Tumblr's new web editor is jacking with the list below and not allowing me to strikethrough the shows I've watched. For the very latest updated list, please click here!)

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS  27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review coming) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review coming) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review coming) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (watching) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]