#but please forgive me if the characterization is a bit off

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

Okay okay, y'all. Imagine Jay during this.

He knew neither of his parents were gonna show up, and Will was in New York, so maybe Jay didn't even tell him about it. He didn't wanna distract from med school. But one of Jay's friends (probably Mouse, but idk if they went through basic training together or just deployment, but it also sounds like a pretty Mouse thing to do) calls Will in advance.

Jay thinks he'll just have to stand there at attention and listen as most of his fellow soldiers reunite with family until a kind person taps him out with a look of sympathy or, worse, pity. He's not looking forward to it. At all. Sure, it means he completed basic training, but it's not much more.

Will's there. He was grinding even harder at school the past week or two so he'd have less to worry about while he missed. He has enough unused absences to miss a few days. (Ngl I'm applying community college knowledge to ivy league medical school so I don't actually know the ins and out of missing a few days of classes.) But he's not gonna miss this.

He's not shocked when he's waiting there as family members of everyone else arrive, and his parents are nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t been sure if he was going to try staying with them, but he's sure it's not a good idea now. He would not keep quiet about them missing this. Hell, he'd love to go tell dad off about it anyway. But that's not what he'd want to come home from, so he's not gonna stress Jay out. See, he can, in fact, take the high road.

So once the family side of the field (or room?) is free to go tap out their loved one, Will silently makes his way over to stand in front of Jay, whose face impressively shows no indication of whether or not he can feel someone standing there, and knocks on his chest lightly. Jay's arms relax as he opens his eyes, and the default appreciative half smile he was gonna give a stranger only appears as a flicker before excited shock takes over.

Will grins and pulls him into a tight hug. He's not actually thrilled about his little brother wanting to ship out and risk his life, but that'll never stop him from being anything but proud of him.

[solarisfortuneia]

— 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

✦ in need of a kiss? well, feel free to pick an experience from our finest collection! perhaps you’ll find one suited perfectly to your tastes?

(or, in other words, the types of kisses they give, and what it’s like to kiss them.)

✦ featuring: aventurine, dr. ratio, jing yuan.

✦ warnings: very kiss focused, not proofread.

✦ notes: these characters with this concept were particularly inspiring today, so i jotted down a little something really quick (might add more characters later in a pt. 2 later? idk)

also forgive me for any characterization errors please i'm still studying them

aventurine.

his kisses are greedy. 

he’s greedy, far too greedy, and selfish to boot— he wants everything you have to give, all for himself. he tastes like a burst of citrus on your tongue, always, always keeping you on your toes, his lips sneakily capturing everything they can, right down to the slightest sound that leaves your lips.

he wants as much of you as he can possibly get, and he’s perfectly capable of drawing it all out from you, bit by bit. he just needs the right bargaining chip, and he has it already, doesn’t he? 

a kiss, for a kiss.

 a fair trade, wouldn’t you say?

(he doesn’t make deals that don’t pay off, after all. and this thing he’s doing with you? well, it sure is raking in the profits.)

veritas ratio.

dr. ratio doesn’t do things in half measures. when he kisses you, it’s all or nothing; he will put his all into it.

he doesn’t confine himself to your lips, either. the philosophy is simple: what kind of learning would one hope to achieve by limiting themselves?

his hands travel all over, learning the wheres, the whens and the hows, almost as if he’s trying to see how you tick, while his lips embark on a journey of their own across the skin of your face, your jaw and your neck.

he kisses with diligence and precision and passion, meticulous and methodical, quickly adapting his methods to even the slightest of hints you send his way. every action he does is intentional and deliberate, so why should this be any different? 

oh, but make no mistake, for all his versatility and straightforwardness, he will not make it easy for you to keep up with him. 

but you can take a challenge, can’t you? 

jing yuan.

he is gentle, he is soft, he is slow— he kisses in the way that honey flows; lazy, languid, almost hypnotizing, like he has all the time in the world. he savors you the same way he savors the tea that lends his lips the subtle bitterness they carry, but they taste sweet all the same.

when he pulls away, a smile graces his face, one that lights up his eyes with adoration. soft as they are, they still command your undivided attention with the way you cannot seem to tear your gaze away from him. his hands still remain on your person though, holding you impossibly close.

and when he tenderly cradles your face in his palms, worries evaporate into air, thoughts slip away to spaces unknown, and moments stretch into lifetimes.

[sicklyworm]

Hi yes I would like to hear your thoughts on Shang Qinghua and his characterization (both in canon and in fanfic). I've always really enjoyed the fics with the like,, BAMF!Shang Qinghua tag, but i also can't decide if his cowardice is an act or not, if that makes sense? Or if it's a bit of both.

Oh my gosh thank you for this ask. Please forgive me anon for the absolute rant that's about to happen because of it!!!

I'm going to break down this ask into chunks so properly and thoroughly answer every part of it!

Starting with,

SQH's cannon characterization:

I spent several hours trying to type out a good yet manageable description of his characterization but I found that no matter how hard I try it's a bit too long for a reasonable Tumblr post.

So instead of just ditching this like a normal person I instead started on a essay going over Shang Qinghua's characterization with quotes and analysis!

At the moment of posting it is not currently completed but I'll make sure to reblog this post with the link to the document once it's done!

Now moving on to,

SQH's characterization in fanfiction:

I'm an avid fanfiction reader myself so I see a plethora of different authors writing different arcs for SQH so obviously he's going to act differently in each one.

The thing I think makes or breaks alot of fanfiction with him is whether the author can properly distinguish between their voice and his. As a highly relatable character a lot of us writers can have a pretty hard time distinguishing him as a character from ourselves! When this happens writers can accidentally take bits and pieces of themselves that don't quite match up with him and kind of force them into the characterization of him!

There's also like the cases of hyperfeminization or character bashing but I feel like those are more of a generalized problem then something SQH specific.

Next is,

Is SQH actually a coward or was it just an act?

This question was one I wrestled with quite a bit when I was first starting to dissect his character.

He plays dead and grovels easily when he feels threatened yet displays tremendous courage when it has to do with MBJ. Whether it be saving MBJ from falling to his death or from MBJ'S own uncle, he is necessarily putting himself in danger just for the safety of someone else.

These behaviors by definition conflict with SQH being a coward but It still feels incomplete to just say "he's not a coward case closed." Because he does act incredibly pathetically at times and has betrayed quite a few people!

So after a bit more deliberation I came to the conclusion that "his coward status is determined by his personal connection towards the subject"

If the subject is not close to him or his heart then it is completely subjected to all of SQHs shady and cowardly tendencies. Even if the subject is kinda close to him I believe these cowardly behaviors will definitely cut back some but under enough threat he will ultimately choose his own personal safety.

But in the case he has a deep emotional connection to the subject he seems willing to show tremendous courage and bravery in order to protect said subject.

Example of this playing out in cannon is:

The Sect - low emotional attachment = full rat bastard mode.

Shen Yuan - mid emotional attachment = normal level of courage but will cave under pressure.

Mobei-jun - high motional attachment = huge levels of courage that won't cave under pressure.

✧✧✧

Extra:

My ADHD was going off the rails with this post so I have no idea how coherent it is.

Anyways i am also a big fan of the BAMF!SQH tag and would love if you dropped off some recommendations in my ask box!

[asuyaka]

My Husband !

★ - hi... (´･ω･`) erm, I know 've been gone for a while (a very long while) but m'back and addin' two new fandoms t'my masterlist !! (Haikyuu & JJBA pt.1 - pt.6!!) - do be warned 've not finished part six yet (m'on chap 114!) so I can't write for every character!

☆ -Narciso Anasui x Male reader!

♡ - he's close enough, welcome back Diavolo !! o((>ω< ))o — forgive me if he's a bit OOC, 've yet to watch video essays on their characterization ＞﹏＜

Being Anasui's boyfriend wasn't the toughest thing on earth. Nearly dying after meeting Pucci for the first time was tough, having to escape a fucking fairytale stand was tough, but dating Anasui was like brushing your teeth with your finger.

Annoying, yes, but it got the job done.

"Love..." Narciso whined from behind you, pushing his head into the crook of your neck. The two of you were situated under the shade of an oak tree, Weather Report and Emporio ate on the opposite side of the tree.

"Yes, Narciso?" You chuckled, patting the top of his hair affectionately.

The other wrapped his hands around your waist and sighed. "Nothing just wanted to say hi," he kisses your neck with a content sigh, sitting down against the trunk and placing you in his lap.

You roll your eyes but decide to humor him, lightly trailing your finger against his forearm. "Hello to you too, Narciso."

Anasui placed your hand on his palm, looking at your matching nails with fondness in his eyes. "So small... perfect for a ring." He mutters as he stares at your (annoyingly) bare ring finger.

Narciso and marriage are like two peas in a pod. When you two first met due to association with Jolyne, his first words weren't 'hi', 'hello', or 'watch out there's a Stand behind you', it was "Please marry me".

So yes, even after the unethical first meeting and the disastrous first date, he's been deadset on becoming your husband no matter what.

That was fine; you didn't hate nor love the idea, but none mattered to Anasui. Once his mind was set on something you couldn't take his mind off it.

"Sucks you haven't found one yet." You squeeze his hand, laughing at his expression.

He turns you over so you're facing each other, your legs wrapped around his torso. "You mean it? You'll marry me?"

"You don't seem to have the whole proposal thing figured out, do you, Narciso?" You ask playfully, watching a flush grow on his cheeks. "I do! This isn't the actual proposal, I'm just...scoping the area!"

"...scoping the area," You repeat slowly. "We've been dating for a while, what 'area' are you scoping?"

Narciso groans, resting his head on your chest. "You know what I meant!"

You chuckle, rubbing his head softly. "You'll know if I'll marry you when you propose."

Your boyfriend looks at you with wide eyes. "Really?"

You smile, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Really."

"This was supposed to be a picnic." Weather says, looking at you two with a deadpanned expression. Emporio tried to pull him away to no avail.

"Fuck off, Weather." Narciso glared at him, the affection in his tone disappearing.

You sighed—he was the definition of 'I hate everyone but you'. Even with his interesting quirks, he was still your boyfriend; and eventually, your fiancé.

[neoflect]

sharing some of my disorganized jojo musical thoughts now that ive had a week to sit on it and ive rewatched it several times over. i intended to wait to publish something like this until a subtitled version was available, but im not seeing any indication that thats happening any time soon so for now youll have to deal with my loose interpretations from my extremely rudimentary and rusty japanese… so take what i have to say about the finer points of characterization with a grain of salt. gratuitous spoilers below obviously, both for the original source material and the changes made in the stage production

my feelings are OVERWHELMINGLY positive. of course there are things i can criticize or that i would have personally done differently but oh man… i have literally not thought about anything besides this fucking show for a week. im 100% confident in saying this is a better adaptation of the source material than the tv anime. sorry to the davidpro staff, i respect their hard work and their love for jojo and their dedication to what is by any metric a pretty difficult property to adapt off of the page, but i dont know if i can ever forgive them for leaving half of the first episode’s storyboard on the cutting room floor in order to fit a standard half-hour tv slot, especially considering that what they cut is some of the really crucial character-building stuff. happily those scenes are not only reproduced in the stage version, some of them are expanded upon!

with the quick disclaimer that i’ve only managed to get my hands on the final 4/14 performance with shotaro arisawa and yoshihisa higashiyama, from what i’ve seen the casting is perfect. i’m sure there’s a rip of the 4/13 performance somewhere (i’ve seen clips) but i haven’t been able to find one… every single performer knocks it out of the fucking park, the cast chemistry is incredible and even the minor characters are loaded with charisma. and mamoru miyano… my god… mamoru miyano i owe you an apology. i was not familiar with your game. of course hes been killing it for decades at this point but i had soured on him a little bit recently because i felt like he was overcast in everything and i just didnt connect with his dnt reinhard at all, so when the casting was initially announced back in august i was underwhelmed, and of course my standards for the dio role in particular were astronomically high… i’ll go more into detail later in the post because i have so so many things to say about dio’s characterization here but mamoru miyano’s performance is like, life-changing. i had impossible expectations and he exceeded them.

sorry if im gushing. i am a hater by nature. its unusual for me to be so thoroughly pleased with something. im not even a musical theater guy. these are strange new feelings for me.

just to balance things out i’ll talk about a couple of the things that didn’t really work for me: first of all, the music is just ok. my initial draft of this post called the music “bad” but three additional viewings later i have warmed up to some of the songs. i don’t know if this is a shortcoming by dove attia as the composer or if it’s just me, as i said i’m not a musical guy and a lot of the genre conventions of musical theatre are not really the things i look for in music that i enjoy, but like… even at their worst they are serviceable. nothing here is sonically unpleasant to me. high points are “resolve of the ripple” (zeppeli’s hamon training song, a jazzy swing number - it’s simply catchy and fun to listen to) and the closer “phantom blood” (a sweeping ballad that reprises the earlier “light and darkness”/”golden spirit” leitmotifs into an epic duet between jonathan and dio as they join hands and walk off into the darkness together… made me cry! i wont lie! on every single one of my numerous viewings this one got me misty eyed!)

wait i forgot this is supposed to be the part where i’m being critical. ok my most loathed song in the musical is “dio’s world”. sorry dio nation. it doesn’t really work for me. i think this might be a case of my standards/expectations being too impossibly high because it’s not even really the worst song in the whole thing. and of course miyano eats it up so it’s not really his fault. i just find it kind of underwhelming… i find the melody a little grating, it’s kind of just a generic rock number, it’s just missing a particular je ne sais quoi…. the essence of dio isn’t there… lyrically though i am obsessed with the premise of dio recruiting his minions by selling himself as a kind of social revolutionary who is upending and inverting the brutal hierarchy of post-industrial victorian society with zombie blood magic. you win some you lose some.

the second sticking point for me is the costumes. they’re perfectly serviceable… adequate… but i mean when it comes to jojo “serviceable” and “adequate” costume design obviously falls well below what’s expected, right? a lot of the outfits have kind of a boxy, almost flat-looking kind of unflattering fit on the actors, which if i wanted to be generous i could attribute to the challenge of bridging the gap between these frail slender musical theater twinks and the two-meter-tall 250lb roided-out beefcakes theyre meant to be embodying. (bearing this discrepancy in mind a lot of the insane martial arts stuff in the second act doesn’t really land with the oomph that it should, but i also understand logistically why this kind of casting is not practical, and all things considered i think shotaro arisawa does a really incredible job of embodying jonathan joestar even though he kind of looks like i could snap him in half over my knee like a twig. he’s very cute. so i’m not mad about it.) of course, again, logistically, i understand that in a stage musical production, where actors only have minutes to complete costume changes, some sacrifices have to be made to the creative vision in the name of practicality. nevertheless this is jojos bizarre adventure!! i want to see some fucking baubles!!!!!!

which is all to say that… after carefully considering it for some weeks… i still have extremely mixed feelings about dio’s grink ass feather bathrobe look. it’s not that i dont think its something he could wear (the concept of dio lounging around in his gothic vampire palace doing re-animator style body horror experiments on the local wildlife in this “officer i have no idea what happened to my husband”-ass nightgown is nothing short of hysterical to me) but then he wears it into combat and i felt a little disappointed… it has the same unflattering fit issue as the other outfits in the show, and it is just such an un-araki-like design… where are the gaudy color combinations? the bizarre geometric patterns? the tease of an exposed boob/thigh/midriff? erina gets a stage-original dress design that i have fewer issues with because the excessive pleats and ruffles have more of an araki-esque sensibility, but every time i look at dio’s robe it feels like there’s something missing.  i’m going to choose to be nice about it because it’s not at all a deal breaker and, again, mamoru miyano devours the look. it’s fine. it’s always fun to have a new dio outfit. if anything, the fact that the blu-rays are being marketed as “2024 cast version” gives me hope for the possibility of a future production with a new vision for the costume design. (although the fact that this was such a difficult production - with stunts and pyrotechnics and moving setpieces - that its entire first week was cancelled indicates to me that the prospects for a future production from a different company are impossibly slim. i guess there’s always hope?)

in terms of the writing and the changes that were made from the original narrative, honestly i don’t really have an issue with anything that was cut. sorry if there are any diehard stans of Poco’s Unnamed Sister out there who are steamed that their favorite minor late phantom blood character got the axe, i kind of understand how you feel because i’ve been malding over david pro cutting the Danny Lore for eleven years, but i think it was the right choice and the story flows so much better. the real juicy meat at the core of phantom blood as a narrative and the thing that brings it head and shoulders above so much of the rest of jjba is the character-driven drama - that deliciously pulpy victorian gothic family tragedy - and the relationship between jonathan and dio. the musical beefs up the character drama and slims down the action-driven second half by trimming out the extraneous battles. the only real downside i see to this is that the absence of tompetty and his prophecy makes zeppeli’s arc and death feel INSANELY abrupt, but tbf that’s not a deal breaker for me. sorry zeppeli. you were born to die.

okay. okay. i think 1500 words into the post is enough fucking around so let’s talk about the real reason why you and i both know we’re here

musical dio is SO fucking sad. he’s positively wretched, you guys. he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and forced to eat cement when he was six. he cries even more than he does in the source material and even when he’s not crying he frequently delivers his lines as though he is moments away from bursting into tears. back when the musical first opened i was snooping on the reactions on jpn twitter and one commenter said they could see miyano’s tears and snot from the nosebleeds even without opera glasses, a remark i initially assumed was hyperbole but that i now think probably was not. araki’s dio is certainly tortured and a deeply pathetic crybaby beneath all the cruelty and posturing, but changes in the musical and miyano’s embodiment of the character bring this pathos to the fore. he is literally haunted: dario’s ghost lingers, a manifestation of all of dio’s traumas and insecurities that emerges from the recesses of his memory to taunt him with the reminder that he will always be his father’s son, all the way up until the very minute that jonathan breaks down the door to his vampire lair. i am OBSESSED with this - not only for the obvious reason that i delight in dio’s suffering personally but also because kong kuwata is a delight and he fucking kills it every time. also lends itself to a category 10 leitmotif moment at the top of the second act when dio emerges from the charred ruins of the joestar estate singing dario’s theme and calling out to jonathan - if i had to pinpoint this is probably the moment when this musical stuck for me as the Real Deal. they Get It.

the first solo number in the show is dio’s disney princess I Want song (amazingly, simply titled “dio”) where he weeps for his late mother and his wretched lot in life, and then - in a creative decision that made me clap my hands and hoot and holler at my screen in real life - there is a reprise of this number (delivered, naturally, through tears) when dio is almost arrested for murder and decides to become a vampire instead. so there’s this amazing hopeful uplifting inspirational orchestral music accompanying the onstage action of dio ruthlessly slaying jonathan’s dad and then getting pumped full of lead by a bunch of cops. it is brilliant. 10/10 no notes. it’s moments like this that i think really sell the “softening” of dio in the stage version for me, even though i am historically Not A Fan of fanworks that take a similar angle - like, yes, he is sad, but specifically he is narcissistically obsessed with the spectacle of his own suffering, he is boiling over with bitterness and rage for everyone around him who (by his own estimation) could never hope to have suffered as much as he has. this sensitivity and self-pity he wallows in are not expressions of a guilty conscience or a desire to change - they’re entirely the opposite - every cruel and monstrous deed dio commits is always justified to himself because he is simply the saddest little boy who has ever existed. he has been done wrong by the world and so there is no limit to the depravity he may reasonably respond with. i’ve seen several commenters describe this as a drastically different interpretation of the character from araki’s dio (and someone told me on twitter that mamoru miyano himself has also said this, but i cba to go digging for an actual source so take it with a grain of salt?), but i… dont think thats the case! dio’s obsession with his own weakness and his self-perception as the eternal underdog (as compared to jonathan) are certainly more exaggerated in miyano’s performance, but i don’t think this is an angle to the character that’s been manufactured out of whole cloth. the genre conventions of the stage musical force the melodrama up to eleven and dio’s incredibly repressed angst is the most rich vein to mine for that. hair-trigger sadist dio is still here, it’s the same guy, he’s still killing people mercilessly, you’re just getting to see him sing a big ballad about his feelings instead of confining those to an internal monologue.

if anything, the exaggeration of dio’s pathetic/cowardly/crybaby traits combined with his megalomaniacal aspirations and bottomless well of cruelty is just right. it’s perfect. fucking around, finding out, and then trying to weasel his way out of the consequences with crocodile tears just so you don’t see him drawing his knife to cut you clean open… yeah. thats the stuff. thats my one true blorbo. sad to say i will love him for ten thousand years.

i think that might be all i have to say… or at least all i feel like saying here… most likely ill come back and edit this post later. i certainly have some additional thoughts and some more esoteric/controversial takes but they’re not suited for a public blog. real ones will understand. im keeping my eyes peeled for somebody to translate this thing but to be frank i am kind of enjoying this little corner of fandom as it is right now: just the asians and the true hardcore phantom blood phreaks. i have not had this much fun in jojo fandom in almost a fucking decade. as soon as somebody publishes an english version my timelines going to get flooded with all the most deeply annoying “kono dio da” “speedwagon waifu” reddit guys and 15 year olds and my suffering will proceed. unfortunately this is my lot in life and i am doomed to be here forever because dio put a worm in my brain

[fountainpenguin]

Any tips for writing Cosmo? I'm struggling a bit with writing him and I'd thought I'd ask you since I enjoy your characterization of him (and while im here, who is the hardest fop character for you to write?)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my take on Cosmo! He's got a pretty messed-up backstory in my works and I enjoy him :)

?? In the editor, my pics are arranged "a reasonable way" - next to each other, multiple in a line - but in the queue, they're... standalone, and thus a huge mess. I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't post that way.

Talkin' Cosmo

This post talks a lot about Cosmo in my 'fics, and I have other Cosmo inspo resources at the bottom if you're interested. I'll give some brief notes before deep-diving into what I've done with him.

Cosmo has his clumsy moments, but he's a very good and protective dad! And that's very important to me.

"Mission Responsible," "For Emergencies Only," "Super Zero," "Farm Pit"

He's here for the fun AND the disciplining! He's on top of both! He's trying to equally protect Foop as much as Poof despite their past grievances! He took a laser for his son in "Playdate of Doom"!! D:

Also, Cosmo in "Formula For Disaster" - I will take a grenade or bullet for everyone in this room. Please let me take a bullet for you.

What is UP with Wanda's multi-season one-sided beef with Foop? lmao. He's always polite to her (Calling her Auntie Wanda compared to Uncle Idiot & tolerating her grabbing his collar and yelling in his face). Who would have beef with a baby who's always apologizing and saying thank you? sdklfjsdfj... (Kick his butt, Wanda) Cosmo's seemingly fine with him and even asked for Foop's business card, but Wanda does not like him. Foop brought Timmy some food he's proud he made and she put him to sleep "until his true love kisses him" without telling him that was the condition of the caramel apple she handed him, and then she told the camera that they were all going to live happily ever after... savage... Girl, that is not very "You have to learn how to forgive people after they try to destroy you" of you. Rules for thee, not for me... I love her, but that's really funny. Cosmo's pretty chill with him. I do not think Foop's relationship with Anti-Cosmo is particularly good. Like??? idk why I'm even asking what's up with her beef- It IS canonically Wanda who wants to kill Timmy's parents (S4's "Fairy Friends and Neighbors," plus she nearly kills Mrs. Crocker in S9's "Fairly Old Parent" and only stops because Timmy warns her he's "not going back to jail with her"), but... Wanda, he's a toddler.

Also, Cosmo even adjusts his body language sometimes because he's trying to copy and improve!! Love that for him!!")

"Mission Responsible"

Shout-out to Cosmo in "School of Crock" smiling and tearing up affectionately when he thinks Poof came out to him... regarding Poof "wanting to marry a cat") and he states that he's both accepting and proud of him. This is not what Poof said, but it's the thought that counts.

Cosmo, they could never make me listen to "He's a deadbeat dad" slander <3

He has his lapses in judgment, but he cares deeply about both Poof and Timmy and works hard to be a good parent to them (and later Chloe too), send post.

The other thing you need to know about Cosmo is that he is SALTY as ALL HECK. But... he plays it in a way that I'd call plausible deniability (considering the "dumb" persona he's set himself up with).

Ex: Cosmo has strong feelings about Timmy's parents (He goes into a panic in "Sooper Poof" because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" but he usually keeps that on the downlow. I said above that Cosmo seems chill with Foop, but it's worth noting that he spends an excessive amount of time "trying to get a sprite off Foop" at the end of "Spellementary School" by slamming him with a frying pan, and he says words that imply he's playing dumb about it... Interesting...

Cosmo's way of treating people is very different from Wanda grabbing Foop by the collar and screaming in his face, or cheerfully announcing her plan to put him in handcuffs, or when she slapped Juandissimo in the face with her purse in "Stupid Cupid," or (although I don't consider very-late-series Juandissimo to be an accurate portrayal of his character) when she shoved him in "Fairy Con" and snapped that if he didn't back off, she'd "kick him in the butt-issimo."

Wanda intimidates, presumably because Big Daddy raised her that way. Funnily enough, Mama Cosma also tends to use intimidating (Ex: Being outright mean to Wanda, kidnapping Wanda's dad) to the point that she seemingly spooks H.P. and Anti-Cosmo enough to make them back down when she takes Poof from them. but Timmy straight-up grabs her by the collar and yells in her face, and I think that's funny.

Words cannot explain how funny it is to me that neither Cosmo nor Anti-Cosmo are fans of direct confrontation... but Cosmo handles it by getting up close to bother you, pushing the envelope, and Anti-Cosmo will run away. Ex: "When Nerds Collide" - A.C. pours salt on Jorgen's shoes, tells Anti-Wanda he'll be back for her, then scampers off with a look of terror on his face. This man will only taunt you if you're locked away or he has back-up. He's very easily spooked.

Anti-Cosmo when one fairy (Jorgen) stands between him and his wife: PEACE OUT, BABE!

Cosmo when his family's in genuine danger:

Cosmo does not like head-on confrontation if it can be avoided, as he's much more into mind games or distraction tactics (like suggesting Jorgen scramble the fairies, or showing Jorgen a slideshow presentation to stall for time).

Anti-Cosmo always opts for running over fighting (Literally all his episodes except "Oddlympics," which is the only episode where no one threatens him directly unless you count Cupid poofing up angry cheetahs, which... fair) or else he just plain shuts down ("Fairly Odd Baby" & "Anti-Poof" are good examples).

LOVE his streak of looking confused in the background when he doesn't want to speak up. He's always a little nervous and I think it's funny. Even if you break into his house, he won't even yell at you. You can just do it...

Cosmo 🤝 Anti-Cosmo

Big "I don't know what I'm doing" energy

They just cover it with opposite personas... Anti-Cosmo pretends he knows everything and Cosmo pretends to know nothing.

One of my favorite scenes truly showcases Cosmo's saltiness. In "Jerk of All Trades," he offers to show Juandissimo to the room he can stay in (after Juandissimo loses his corporate housing)...

... and promptly throws him in the freezer. Hey, what??

Keep an eye out for scenes where Cosmo seems smug, because those tend to be the best examples of his plausible deniability / clever subtleties

The beef Cosmo and Juandissimo have with each other cracks me up... I like the OG canon that Juandissimo is terrified of Cosmo. In an early script for "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" (linked), he straight-up says Cosmo is the only one he's afraid of because he's a "warrior" and "a cunning and calculating foe." Like ??? Excuse me?

-> Part of this did make it into the final version with Juandissimo whining to Remy that he's "lucky to be alive" after Cosmo almost turned his hand into a fist! Why is Juandissimo always flaunting his muscles but then he'll whine that Cosmo spooks him... sdlkfj.

- My secret headcanon is that Juandissimo was once witness to Cosmo losing control (as Cosmo is confirmed in multiple episodes to be extremely powerful and dangerous) and he realized then and there that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that fury. But nobody ever believes him that Cosmo is scary, so he just cringes and whines in the background.

"Bird Song" (Florence and the Machine) is one of my Cosmo inspo songs for that reason.

Also, I live for the scene in "Super Zero" where Cosmo is holding Chet Ubetcha (whom he was taking to find his car) while Chet reports about how Cosmo is a terrible superhero...

... so Cosmo straight-up says "There's your car" and drops him into a volcano. Incredible. No notes. Saltiest boy in the world. It plays rent-free in my head...

He can be salty for a variety of reasons, but it seems to flare up especially when he's being territorial of his family or space

[Very long post (11k words from here) - Click at own discretion]

Major Cloudlands AU story spoilers up to where we are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it.

So... Let's get detailed!

[Basic overview, cnt'd from above; the spoiler bits come later]

Cosmo is a mama's boy! We know that pretty well from canon; it's one of his most obvious traits. However... he won't leave Wanda for her (as much as his mother antagonizes him).

- He's VERY loyal to Mama Cosma, to the point of sneaking her into his and Wanda's underwater castle in "Hassle in the Castle" and not telling Wanda about it.

- I think "Presto Change-O" and "Odd Squad" showcase his attachment well- He's reasonably concerned for her and very caring, but he's clearly living his own life at home.

- When he darts out on Timmy in the former episode, he first assures Timmy that when he and Wanda are back, they'll "all do something really fun and magical together." After Mama Cosma recovers from her 9-hour flu, he doesn't make Wanda wait around and takes the lead in getting them out of there (with a cheerful good-bye to his mom).

Context: My Cloudlands AU 'fics strive to be "as canon as possible," and I'm particularly proud of a scene I wrote in "I Just Live Here" where Foop reflects on family relations (and we see evidence of Cosmo and Wanda's relationship straining due to insults):

Once he came clean about his marriage to a damsel she couldn't stand, Mama Cosma couldn't keep her hands out of his life. She threads her son's mind with all sorts of poisoned commentary and doesn't seem to feel a smidgen of remorse. Like… wow. I lie, cheat, and manipulate people too, but when I try to imagine my own mother fighting tooth and nail to split me apart from my friends, that just seems unnecessarily cruel. It's weird. I know my auntie has done her best to tolerate it (holding her tongue and temper in a way that even I admire), but once when I was lurking around Timmy Turner's house before he came home from school, I heard she and my uncle break into a fight. Well… More of a scolding, really. After three or four minutes of listing her grievances against Mama Cosma, Auntie Wanda simply burst into tears. "I can't go to her house anymore. I can't keep going to these fancy lunches in Fairy World. But I worry all the time that if I don't go, you won't come back to me. Mama Cosma can really stick her hooks in you. I just don't feel like you respect me anymore, Cosmo, or like you believe living with me is an improvement over being a mama's boy and staying all day in your childhood bedroom. I need your support when she bears into me. Can you do that?" "I'll try to be better," was his response, stunned and shaky. I'd felt that way myself, curiosity getting the better of me as I floated as near to the window as I dared, my ear pressed against the wall. I could hear my uncle's fingers fiddling with his tie, wrapping the fabric around and around his wrist. "I don't know, Wanda… She's my mama. I know she can be a little harsh sometimes, but she's just getting a little old and cranky. She wouldn't do anything to really hurt me…" "She's been flinging insults at me for years." "… This is real? It's not all just some smart people test about sarcasm or irony or hidden underlying meanings? I'm not good at picking up clues, Wanda… You know that." Then, more quietly, "I'll try… It's just that sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. I never feel like I'm in on the joke, and then when I finally am, it's like everyone thinks it isn't funny anymore. And what's more confusing is that sometimes, people say something I thought was kind of mean and everybody laughs, but then other times, everybody gets real quiet and uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to figure out the difference before the words are out of my mouth. And I don't always know there's something wrong unless it's explained to me with puppets or words… but I'll try. Can you keep being patient with me, even when I mess things up all over again?" "Every time, Cosmo. I love you… SO much…" Well. That had been an awkward thing to overhear. But I know why they had that discussion when they thought they were alone in private. I don't blame my auntie and uncle for trying to keep the trials of their marriage away from their son and two godkids. They're doing what they can to provide stability. My own parents could likely learn a thing or two from them. My father shouts a lot when he's upset, and my mother often floats there and takes it, not saying a word. I've overheard breaking plates and sometimes the frustrated pounding of a hand against the wall, but… Well.

I really like this scene because I think it's a good balance of Cosmo being insensitive, but at least somewhat justified in his confusion and misunderstanding ("But... you also say mean things to me" and/or "People think it's funny and I don't always get when it isn't"). It allows me to treat their bickering as canon while also showing them working things out in the background.

It's got Wanda standing up for herself and Cosmo wanting to be better... and I like my set-up of them talking where they know Timmy wouldn't hear, and Foop's just flat-out eavesdropping. Makes me laugh. Everyone here is spot-on, imo.

"Crocker of Gold" is an episode I like for Cosmo's misunderstandings- That's the one where he dresses as a leprechaun and Crocker catches him and demands gold, so Cosmo takes gold from real leprechauns and leaves them a note. They're upset with him, and both Timmy and Wanda are shocked he left a note. Cosmo claims it would've been rude not to. He generally is following a social script... it just might not match the circumstances he's in. I like to think that he skates through life trying to be polite, salty, under the radar, or playing dumb. Those things have gotten him this far in life, so he defaults to them. -> I showed a screenshot earlier of Cosmo changing his body language to match Wanda's. I don't think it's common for him to want to learn new things or change his behavior, but he's all-in at being a good dad and tends to mimic what he sees Wanda do. He follows role models. -> Jorgen is clearly his role model in "Cosmo Rules," since Cosmo also opts for a military get-up while defending Da Rules despite that not being required (Juandissimo didn't) -> In "Oh, Brother," Cosmo lists things that a brother can do for you- Drive a getaway car, lend you bail money - which he's probably saying because his older brother is a con artist. -> In "Something's Fishy," he even mimics Schnozmo's catchphrase: saying "Two words!" followed by something that's not two words. Hilariously, both of these happened in Season 5- Long before Schnozmo was introduced in Season 7. -> And by that logic, it's not surprising Cosmo can be rude and speak his mind a lot since Mama Cosma and Schnozmo are both known for that. Heck, Cosmo gets under Juandissimo's skin in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by mimicking him, and it was his own idea to do so.

Notably, in Poof's POV section of this same story, he says he and his dad visit Mama Cosma's without Wanda, and shares this:

When I'm with the Cosma side of my family, Mama Cosma lets me put my feet up on the furniture if I want to. I definitely can't do that at my granddad's because my nonna would have a fit. Mama Cosma doesn't care if I eat in the living room, even on her couch while we look at old scrapbooks of my dad and Uncle Schnozmo when they were kids (Plus old yearbooks of her and Papa Cosma… but my papa died when my dad was only two, so I never got to meet him). There's definitely… a weird vibe at Mama Cosma's prim and frilly little house, though. She loves my dad and he'll usually spend the whole visit with me when we go, but my own mama won't set foot anywhere near my grandmother's house anymore. When I was a baby I didn't really get it, but then I learned to read and figured out why. Mama Cosma frosts all her cookies so they say my mother's name with large Xs or strike symbols through them… or if not that, then symbols of raging fire. I feel really bad not eating her cookies because she always works so hard on them and they taste so good, but I feel like I'm betraying my mama when I do. My dad gets quiet and evasive about it, but… he just tells me not to worry. He says I can do what I want, and that if I don't want to eat them, he isn't going to force me. So there's that. I've seen my dad get confrontational before, but he's usually pretty tame around my grandma. I brought up the cookies to my mama once and she tersely said we'd "talk about it when I was older." So I asked Timmy while we were filling out coloring books and he told me everything. Mama Cosma can't stand my mama… Timmy says it's because my mom "took away her little boy" by marrying her, which is what led him to move out of her house and into a new place with my mom. It's weird. There's a nagging feeling in my gut that makes me suspect that's not the whole story. I'm not even sure I want the whole story, so… I guess I'll take my mama's word for it. She'll tell me "when I'm older."

They are brothers, your honor...

Mama Cosma is important to Cosmo. She may not like his wife, but she was also his sole caretaker for tens of thousands of years (knowing what we know about the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies taking place 90k years ago, since "Balance of Flour" is its anniversary, and we know Cosmo and Wanda have only been together 10k years).

I like to think Cosmo wants Poof to know his grandma since Cosmo and Wanda were cut off for so long. Cosmo has a paternal grandpa on his canon family tree ("77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" - Grandpa Gonzo - but Cosmo lost his dad young and I don't think he's close to his grandfather.

Family's important to Wanda too - she's very close with her dad - and I think she and Cosmo both make sacrifices for each other's happiness and Poof's sake, even though it's hard on them both.

Again, I like to play Cosmo as a mama's boy trying to balance the complexities of his life... Allowing Wanda space away from his mother, but also letting Poof have the chance to meet his grandma, but also telling Poof that if he doesn't want to eat the I Hate Wanda cookies, he doesn't have to.

I also think it's worth nothing that Cosmo tried his dang hardest to be very positive about his pregnancy and childbirth.

- He had a lot of hormones messing with his mood (leading him to be confused when he batted Timmy into the basement while in bear form, then returned to fairy form and couldn't find him), but he was super grateful for his pregnancy (Handled his morning sickness without disgust & we see him apologize for inconveniencing Timmy several times). - He didn't even resent Timmy for snapping at him and telling him to get lost, which is nice since Cosmo has a history of petty grudges. During his contractions, he's the one telling Timmy and Wanda to remain calm and to enjoy "this beautiful moment." - Even while actively giving birth and clearly in a lot of pain, he insisted childbirth was a wonderful experience (fighting for a smile through his tears, his eyes red around the edges as he held and rubbed his belly... Doin' his BEST to get through it). - I think it's interesting how positive he was since sometimes he can be very pessimistic (Ex: "End of the Universe-ity" when he points out that "Fairy powers are totally lame and limited and will last 5 more years, tops" compared to Dark powers).

I have to showcase Cosmo's happy moment followed by /double blinks in confusion as his newborn is taken from him.

Every one of these faces is precious... He's a daddy! Thank goodness he has his precious baby! His hair is still extra ruffled from his stress and strain! He's in his hospital gown! His baby is his world! His godkid is delighted, and Cosmo is so happy to have his two boys in his life! ... oh no. help him.

Does Cosmo have his feet spread under the blankets the same way Peri, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda all spread their feet in A New Wish to support heavy books? That's funny... He has a big baby in his lap...

I think... that covers my overview of How I Suggest Writing Cosmo In General:

- Mama's boy who's thoughtful, salty, a good dad, and doing his best to keep his marriage together because he loves his wife (although he does struggle to find the line for his teasing). He's not big on confrontation, though he'll stand up for his family when push comes to shove. - He does get jealous, but he and Wanda BOTH admit to having crushes outside their relationship; I don't think it's entirely fair to judge Cosmo for his fantasies without also judging Wanda, who's equally blatant in multiple episodes and has very questionable interests. I like to think they both know the other wouldn't really go for anyone else, though I do agree I'm not the biggest fan of these jokes. - He loves both Timmy and Poof. I didn't touch much on Timmy in this post since it's long and there are many good episodes of their dynamic (Timmy has a tendency to trust Cosmo and leap without looking). - Looks for role models to mimic. For better or worse, he grew up with Mama Cosma and Schnozmo, so he can be overbearing, sly, and rude. Loves his baby and his family very much. Very protective... Please let him take a grenade for them.

I think if I were to personally start my take on Cosmo from scratch, I'd ask this:

- What am I depicting Cosmo do? Who taught him this behavior? -> His mom was overprotective of him, so he probably read it in a book, got it from a kid at school, or picked it up form his mom or brother. - If it's none of these things... Why is he doing that action? (If he's older, maybe he got it from watching a godkid or reading a comic book). Is he following a social script from his culture? -> That's a good opportunity for worldbuilding. - He might've put in a lot of work, because something about the behavior is important to him (or was in his past). Since he's often associated with cars ("School's Out! The Musical" flashbacks, "Cosmonopoly," he's the car in "Odd Squad," his racecar bed in "Hassle In the Castle"), -> I've always imagined his car was the one thing he had that was truly his, and it represented freedom from his mom. After all, two episodes confirm he was driving in his younger years (and we know from "Transparents" that Wanda lacks experience)

These are good starting points if you're looking to develop a deep Cosmo portrayal with layers of backstory, though you can always keep it simple (especially for short one-shots).

I do think nailing down your interpretation of Cosmo's backstory is a critical aspect of deciding how you portray him in present day (as with any character). Everyone's vision of his story will be different, leading to their own take on Cosmo (and potentially Anti-Cosmo).

⭐ Here are some backstory jump-off points!

- "This Is Your Wish," "School's Out! The Musical," & "Cosmonopoly" are three episodes from the OG series episode covering the main story beats of Cosmo's backstory (Implied to have lost his dad young, grew up with his mom, forced into military school against his will, sunk Atlantis (9 separate times as of "Something's Fishy"), marrying Wanda). - "Double-Oh Schnozmo" debuts Cosmo's older brother, who clearly takes advantage of him. Schnozmo was off the radar enough that he didn't know Poof existed. Cosmo has great faith in and respect for his brother, and is heartbroken when he realizes Schnozmo took advantage of his trusting nature- There's a moment as he's talking through it that you can SEE the moment he breaks... That to me is quintessential Cosmo.

Cosmo, having just said "He must think I'm the biggest fool in the world!" and freezing up one beat before he hurls his ham into the forest and takes off to be alone... He knows. Their past, their fond memories... How much of it was real to Schnozmo? Does his brother even care for him? He splinters.

- Neither Cosmo's mom nor Wanda's dad knew their children were married until "Apartnership" and "Talkin' Trash" (respectively), though Blonda seemingly did in her debut. Cosmo implies at the end of "Talkin' Trash" that he wants to take over the Fairywinkle family business?? Also, it's heavily implied Big Daddy was going to let Cosmo stay with Wanda when Wanda moved home, and it's important to me...

- Speaking of family, Cosmo found out in "Cosmo Rules" he has von Strangle blood. In my canon, he trains to take over as Keeper of Da Rules after Jorgen after he leaves Timmy and Chloe (and it's probably something I'll carry for him to New Wish 'fics since he could be doing it in his godparent retirement era- especially since Jorgen's more mellow in New Wish). There's lots you can do with that!

- Anti-Cosmo was old enough to represent his people in a truce attempt during "Balance of Flour" (canonically 90k years pre-series, as it was the anniversary in that episode), heavily implying Cosmo and those older than him fought in this war.

- Cosmo claimed he never went to Spellementary School (in the episode of the same title), but in "Love Triangle," he confirms he had a role in the school play.

-> He becomes a "pageant parent" to Poof in this episode, hovering around him and making Poof run his lines over and over even though Poof is clearly uninterested (Wanda even using the words "You know Poof doesn't want to be in his school play"). He reminds me of his overbearing mama!

- "Truth or Cosmoquences" depicts Cosmo's high school years. Juandissimo claims he met Wanda during high school, they're confirmed to have dated, and Cosmo taunts Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by claiming he "lost his woman to an idiot."

-> Juandissimo is on good enough terms with Cosmo and Wanda that he attends, like, 5 different parties at their house in the OG series (including the baby shower Wanda's family didn't show up for) - I don't normally see people treat "Cosmonopoly" as canon, but I personally like it; I use the diner as the place Wanda started to fall for him since she wasn't very happy about being hit by his car. - Cosmo confirmed he designed his Cosmonopoly game to remind him of the day he met Wanda. He heavily implies he went to Pixie World to do his laundry that day (Pixie Woods is a location next to the laundromat). In my 'fics, I depict him sneaking out to get time for himself and using his laundry time to write his books. Funnily enough, Pixie World's laundromat was already established in my works even before this, because Rosencrantz works there. -> This potentially plays into the Pixies having Cosmo on their radar & Cosmo implying he met Sanderson sometime before "Pixies Inc." (i.e. he told Sanderson that if he "doesn't recognize him, it's probably the hat").

- Officially, Cosmo was designed with a 50s aesthetic. You could draw inspo by researching the 1950s. What hobbies or special events were popular?

- He's likely to have Megan Bacon trauma (a past godkid of his from "Past and the Furious"). Canonically, the past versions of Cosmo and Wanda are AWOL when Timmy looks for them in the past because they were hiding in her closet.

-> She's still alive (and fairly young) in present-day Dimmsdale, having gone on to open a notable restaurant seen in many episodes: the Cake 'N Bacon. In "Vicky Loses Her Icky," this restaurant was inexplicably across the street from Timmy's house.

-> Funnily enough, I don't think he really showed what I'd call "Vicky trauma" in the OG series, despite the fact she did mess with him. That's more of a New Wish thing, but I do think he had Megan trauma.

- In Season 5's "Hassle in the Castle," Cosmo and Wanda keep portraits of all their past godkids, including those they had poor relationships with (with these replicas of MaryAnn and Pierre specifically wanting revenge on them; MaryAnn claims they "deserted her."

Cosmo and Wanda instantly recognize MaryAnn when she's running around the castle, even though she killed Archduke Ferdinand and it's been a while since they've seen her. Even Cosmo? Who's not always the best with names? -> That said, we do know Cosmo snuck Mama Cosma into the castle in that episode and her door is down near the portraits. Him sneaking his mom in is a whole other can of worms. Also, they have Crocker's portrait in the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Infamy!

- And if you want to go all the way back to Season 0, Cosmo and Wanda claim in "The Zappys" that their godparenting career is "speckled with failures," which Cosmo seems sad to admit.

- In both the OG series and New Wish, Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds. Cosmo's is a racecar:

Hilariously, this is one of the episodes Wanda blatantly tells Cosmo she's daydreaming about Juandissimo. For all the bickering and irritation and "the ol' ball and chain" and "naggy wife" jokes... I do think it's funny that they're both completely open about having crushes on other people. Totally fair if people have a strong dislike for that part of their characterization, but I can't help but respect the sheer confidence and closeness they have to admit those things and that it won't ruin their relationship.

-> We know from "Stupid Cupid" that Cosmo finds Juandissimo hitting on Wanda annoying, but lets him flirt with Wanda because he keeps sending her food, which Cosmo eats because Wanda doesn't want.

-> Shout out to Cosmo in "Truth or Cosmoquences" when Juandissimo hit on Wanda and Cosmo instantly broke character from his façade as Britney Britney's husband and shoved himself between them... and then had to back down when Juandissimo innocently asked why he was so huffy about him merely asking for a dance with his unmarried secretary 🥺

Season 6's "Wishy Washy" gave us teen Cosmo and Wanda, where we see Cosmo with braces and a skateboard. He confirms to Timmy that at this point in his life, Wanda wasn't his type (because "he likes 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.")

I've always thought it was funny that Cosmo likes to say "swirly" when he's absentminded, like "Portals are swirly." Man's always thinkin' 'bout swirls...

I drew him and teen Anti-Cosmo once!

- After Cosmo started disguising his nose with magic ("The Boy Who Would Be Queen"), but before Anti-Cosmo chose to do the same. - Specifically, Cosmo went through a rebellious teen phase (slipping away from his mom to go play & later pick up a job at the diner, planning to buy a car himself). - Anti-Cosmo became excessively devoted to my zodiac-themed Anti-Fairy culture (He's wearing a shirt depicting the Fae zodiac & wearing bracelets to symbolize being born in the year of Water).

It's very important to me that teen Cosmo and Wanda refused to play along with Timmy until he uses reverse psychology on them by insisting they're not meant for each other. And that SNAPS them to attention... At their core, they've always had their rebellious streaks. They do not like being bossed around.

Honestly, if you're only going to pick one thing to focus on... I think the most critical detail to consider when writing Cosmo and Wanda is that they eloped without telling their parents. If you think about how they left their lives of being coddled behind for each other, you can take that anywhere.

Anti-Cosmo's backstory is pretty unknown, but you can use parts of Anti-Cosmo to build a take on Cosmo as well.

For example, Anti-Cosmo's mother might be very harsh to him since Mama Cosma coddles Cosmo. Or, you could argue his mother's completely absent from his life since Cosmo's is always around. I like to think she really wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to get married. I personally play her as both physically abusive and emotionally overbearing. Cosmo crushed on Wanda for a long time, but I really enjoy slow burn A.C./A.W. as they slowly move from being annoyed by or disgusted with each other to admiring, respecting, and loving each other. I gave Anti-Cosmo bipolar disorder (due to his extremely high-energy moments in "When Nerds Collide" (where he rapidly flies in a circle 13 times in a row while still talking... yes, I went frame by frame and counted) and "Balance of Flour" (where Anti-Cosmo was unable to sit still while in disguise and revealed himself in front of everyone by running off and laughing). In his other episodes, he's in a mild state. -> Fun Fact: Technically, Anti-Cosmo has a magical parallel of bipolar rather than what humans have, and he treats it by rubbing Fairy pheromones on his face. In-universe, Fairies consider him to have divus displacement disorder (D3) and consider him "a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" while Anti-Fairies believe he was born with his soul intertwined with a nature spirit's (whom he called Clarice in his youth). A.C. has a habit of drifting near H.P., who has strong-smelling pheromones. Anyway... My Cosmo has depression - especially postpartum depression - as a parallel. He struggles with a lot of personal issues, especially regarding his magical strength (Ex: turning his dad into a fly as a baby, leading his dad to never be seen again in the series).

Here are detailed examples from the backstory I gave my Cosmo because... I like talking about him:

Cloudlands AU Cosmo - #ridspoilers

Major spoilers up to the end of where we currently are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it

I treat "77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" as canon, meaning Cosmo's deepest secret - that he's the author of Astrophysics For Morons and several other books - is something he has ISSUES telling people about... which I tie into "Wishology"'s canon of portraying stars as ancient Fairies.

Yeah... Cosmo writing stuff that his culture hates does not go well for him in my work :'D

Cosmo struggles a lot with his love of books, hence why this is a secret for him. In Cloudlands AU canon, Fairies tend to have a brawn over brains culture and Anti-Fairies a brains over brawn one; Mama Cosma sent him to military school against his will to try to push him towards the brawn culture.

During / after the war with the Anti-Fairies ("Balance of Flour"), Fairies weren't exactly charmed by brains or Anti-Fairy culture sympathizers, and Cosmo - who used to write political commentaries and kids' books that broke culture down in easy to understand ways - became an instant target, leading us to this scene:

"Let them come for me." Cosmo raised the point of his wand against his temple. "These memories are all that I have left. Look, it's simple. You don't want my insights on politics and religion leaking any further into the world, and I don't want you in my life ever again. So if you take one step forward, I'll blast them out here and now. You can tell Adelinda that you were left to scrape my time keys off the floor." "So I am the bad guy now? We've opened the castle for refugees like you! Art, history, all the science you could ask for… The charts, the maps!" Cosmo bobbed gently up and down, but otherwise didn't move. He didn't even blink, the wand still pressed thumb-deep into his head. "Yeah, right! You've von Strangled every scrap of success I ever had out of my hands. Why would this be any different?" A scowling Jorgen shifted forward then and Cosmo threw out a hand. "No further! Or I'll wipe my memories here and now!" Jorgen braced his staff against a jutting piece of the wall, leaning beside it with folded arms. "The revolutionaries are out there hunting for those who threaten society with radical ideas, Cosmo. Your stories of gas balls and tongue lashes towards the Council are the reason you've landed in their sights. You can burn your books, but erasing private memories hurts no one but yourself. Plus, I can still take you to the Pink Castle anyway. It seems a very foolish trade you are fighting to make." Cosmo narrowed his eyes. "But when you get me behind those walls, you're going to scramble my mind up anyway, right? Because you work for the Fairy Council? At least if I blast myself, then I don't let you get to have the satisfaction…"

"Repeat"

After this point, Cosmo started erasing his memories on the regular and became a lot more unstable and unhappy with himself.

That said, I do think the war helped give him a purpose, lifting him a bit from the depression of his younger years over missing his father. He finally felt like he had something worth fighting for and was making up for the harm he caused, now out there protecting his people.

It's around this point in time that Cosmo - looking for a new career and now a smidgen more confident in himself (and looking for a new passion in life) - switched to the godparenting major, where he ended up doing a trial program with Wanda for Erg.

Erg being the godkid they claimed to have 50k years ago in an episode where they're celebrating their 10k years of being godparents, implying Erg was a special one-off case... Checks out since 50k years ago would've been well before they were married ("The Past and the Furious")

Cosmo grew increasingly infatuated with Wanda from here on out, and learning to be a godparent also kicked off his love for children.

I like to play Wanda as "better with" wish-themed playtime and adventures while little kids tend to think of Cosmo as "more fun" when they're playing with toys. He's pretty imaginative. I like to think Wanda's humor is high-brow and flies over little kid heads (Depending on their age). One of my favorite headcanons is that Cosmo owns a lot of toys and likes to leave one with each godkid. Probably a bunch of toys his mom gave him since she coddled and fawned over him so much, so he's rehoming them.

So /claps hands. We've set Cloudlands AU Cosmo up to want a baby. Can u see where this is going?

I personally treat the baby H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised as 100% canon. I made him the counterpart of the candle model!

Here's some 2018 art, though I need to redraw / redesign now that my art skills have improved. Btw, I saw someone say they were sad this screenshot was fake, but :'D... I assure you, it's 100% real. It's in Jorgen's presentation of "Fairly Odd Baby" when he specifically uses the word "raised" to speak of Anti-Fairies and Pixies with children, and he shows this photo plus a flashing sign labeling H.P. specifically as "Bad," implying the kid has a connection to Anti-Cosmo in species, but H.P. was the real threat. I don't know why they drew H.P. with those glasses or added shading either, but it's real.

Let's talk Westley first! If you remember he's living with Blonda and showed up in "I Just Live Here..." congratulations! Poof slept in his room when he stayed with his Fairywinkle family for spring break that year.

He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks. I blink up at him, wide-eyed, and he pats my shoulder instead of ruffling my hair. Even though I have really, really ruffle-able purple hair, so I'm kind of glad he refrained (I don't like anyone but my parents and Timmy touching my hair, except I sometimes let Gary do it, and I really hate combing out the tangles). "Go back to sleep, cuginetto. We can talk more in the morning."

He was raised by Jorgen and Binky, specifically (playing into "Fairly Odd Baby" canon where Jorgen tries to take Poof from Cosmo and Wanda, telling them he'll raise him and will only let them visit him for one day every other millennium, plus Jorgen shows himself holding a baby in his slideshow presentation).

Binky dropped out of godparenting to be a stay-at-home caretaker for him on Jorgen's behalf.

Reminder: Binky and Jorgen are a gyne-drone pair. They don't live together, but they're basically in a QPR The Origin of the Pixies chapter "Inner Workings" is a good peek at their dynamic (back in the day), though H.P. refers to Binky by his surname (Abdul).

Westley is extremely bitter towards his bio parents and, while he respects Binky, doesn't particularly like him or Jorgen (or Cupid) as all three played a part in removing his chance at "a real family." He cut ties and changed his family name to Periwinkle.

AKA, before Poof was born, Westley went into modeling in Fairywood and Blonda took him under her wing. Blonda considers him a nephew

Poof looks up to him a lot names things after Westley - notably his egg baby in "Two and a Half Babies" - and that was canon in my work for years before A New Wish, sdkflj...

If I had a nickel for everyone in this family who changed their name to Periwinkle...

Frayed Knots is a 'fic about how Anti-Cosmo got to the point that he ended up with Talon - Westley's anti-fairy counterpart - and why H.P. is the one helping him raise him... Short answer? Anti-Cosmo wrecked his life for that child and a lot of people have issues with him because of it :'D But H.P. took him in...

Talon sneak peeks from late Frayed Knots!

“Yep. Talon, your dad’s out of it. Which is perfect, because that means I can do this.” H.P. clamped his hands around Talon’s waist and tossed him into the air. Talon squealed with surprise and apparent delight, and H.P. caught him when he came back down. “You are adorable. Oh yes you are, my Cú Chulainn. Yes you are.” “Again!” Talon cheered. “Nope.” There was a pat like H.P. placing small anti-fairy feet back on the floor. “One free sample per pup. If you want more services, you have to pay for them.” “Again!” H.P. sighed good-naturedly. “All right. One more time, Cú Chulainn. But, only if I can trust you to keep this our little secret.” “No! I’m going to brag to all the others that you tossed me twice. I had my fingers crossed about the promise.” “Oh, you’ve got me there,” H.P. told him in monotone. He rustled Talon’s hair with his huge hand. “Go play.” Talon trotted away, laughing. I clenched my claws deeper in the ruffled fabric. He never laughed for me like that.

&

Talon stomped his foot. “I don’t wanna go back with you! I want to stay here with my other dad!” H.P. and I looked at each other. Then he dropped his attention to Talon again, bending on one knee. “Talon, you’re adopted.” “Really,” I cried, “you’re starting with that?”

Also, shout-out to older Talon in Pink and Gray-

"I hate the inheritance traditions!" Talon's wings exploded behind him, flapping wildly. "It's not fair! You weren't even supposed to become High Count after Anti-Bryndin. Everyone only agreed to let you lead the Anti-Fairies because you have green eyes, but when it's me, your son, who should inherit after you, they're not going to listen, are they? They're not! You don't want me to be your heir! You only keep me around because I'm the only anti-fairy who's been born since the fairy baby mandate cut off all your other options. Or else you'd just dump me on H.P. forever so you don't have to look at me anymore and think about all your old mistakes. You want another kid because I was born with red eyes like some kind of commoner!" "Talon, enough." Anti-Cosmo swept his arm to the side. "You'll wake the hotel. Worshipers have traveled a long way to visit the Water Temple." "Look at me! Look me in these eyes and tell me it's not true!" Anti-Cosmo clenched his teeth, but didn't glance away. "I said, that's enough now. I broke the law to give you a healthy life, child. One would think you'd respect me for that." "The people," Talon snarled, stabbing a claw vaguely in the direction of Anti-Fairy World, "should accept me as your heir, no matter what color my eyes are." "I don't disagree, lad, and I don't intend to argue with you. However, you must realize that it isn't within my power to alter the expectations of an entire society." He stepped forward, fur bristling. "Bet the gossip's true! Bet you were unfaithful. Bet you had me with some hired anti-will o' the wisp for a handful of coins. Is that where I came from? Are you even my real father? Do you ever plan to tell me anything?" Anti-Cosmo tightened his grip on his wand, but regarded the furious anti-fairy with cool collection. His hand twitched, but he kept his arm low. "I will not argue with you, Talon, and I will not succumb to your goading. I am your father, Anti-Wanda is your mother, and despite your legitimacy, you did not inherit our spirit-blessed eyes. That is all you need to know, apart from the fact that if you do not hold your tongue, you will lose your inheritance tonight. Do not try my patience further." Talon simmered a moment more, then swung around and stalked away down the hall. "Telford Anti-Westley Anti-Lunifly. You have yet to be dismissed. Don't you dare turn your back on your High Count while he's trying to converse with you!" "'Trying,'" Talon said, and kept walking.

& "Health Bars"-

"What did you bring me?" Talon asks, looking up. Anti-Cosmo's eyebrows shoot into his hair. "'Bring you?' Why, I wasn't even aware you would be here tonight." Talon sticks out his tongue. "H.P. always brings me stuff when I see him." "True," I acknowledge. In my head, Anti-Cosmo's hitpoints drop into yellow. Anti-Cosmo gives the younger anti-fairy a pitying look. "Then he's spoiled you into being a selfish little brat, I'm afraid." And to me, narrow-eyed, "Thanks for that, actually." "Whoa. Hey. It's not my fault you deprive him of modern technology when he goes to stay in Anti-Fairy World. We agreed from the start: If you want to raise him Zodii, then I get to expose him to pop culture. Go ahead– ask him about memes. I've trained him well."

I just love him and my messy 'fic drama so much... Talon, my beloved.

Because this is a notable part of Anti-Cosmo's backstory - especially the conflict Anti-Cosmo and Talon have - it played into me giving Cosmo that aforementioned dream of wanting kids, which led me to scenes like:

"So, when can I meet Nixie?" Saffron frowned in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, did I not send the letter? You sounded like you'd read it over the call. You seemed fine with it." "L… letter?" "I changed my mind about adopting her out. Jorgen said he'd waive my file at the station if I trade her to him instead of you." He slammed so hard on the brakes, Saffron's glossy lip tube flew past the windshield.

"Repeat" - Cosmo's failed attempt to bring Nixie into his life... Nonetheless, he didn't give up

So... I found an episode with an interesting detail, and I really latched onto it and built my images of Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo around it. Simple enough start!

I lucked out in finding something I thought was super interesting to delve into (especially at a time no one else in the fandom had mentioned it... or at least not in 'fics tagged H.P., because I think I read all those and most if not all of the Anti-Cosmo ones available back then, at least on the sites I used, haha).

Even though I don't consider "The Fairy Beginning" canon as a whole (due to it violating too much established canon), it's still canon in my works that Cosmo stayed with his aunt and uncle for a while and lived under their stairs, which is... hoo boy.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Cosmo tightened his arms around Westley's back, beneath the baby's tiny fluttering wings. "It's not me or my fault, okay? It's just… just… Look, it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Holding babies left him breathless, and Cosmo tried to shift his weight to hold him a little better. Westley kicked him in the chest. "I know I can't keep him, but you can't let Jorgen take him away." "Oh heavens, that's a real baby. There is a fairy baby in my house right now. I'm gonna be sick." Blonda floated backwards, one hand on her stomach and one on her mouth. The sleeve of her robe slid down to her elbow, dangling like a fish fin. She turned a full circle, pacing in the air, then swept back and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The A.B.B.'s been out for weeks. How hasn't Jorgen found you yet? Tell me you haven't been on the run alone. At least say you have another friend in the world besides my sister and me." "O-okay… Uh, we haven't been by ourselves all this time. Is that the right answer?" Blonda leaned her head back against the whitewashed wall. "Oh, Darkness devour me…" Cosmo bit his lip. "We were staying under my aunt and uncle's stairs for a while, b-but I know they're getting close…" As the breathing lines clenched up around his throat, his fingers curled into the yellow towel a little tighter. "Please, Blonda… Can we stay? And can you help me find milk without showing my face at a store? I ran out, and Jorgen wants to take him away so he can teach him to fight and bully everyone. I can't watch that happen! And… and Cupid will just throw him in a cage for the rest of his life. And I'm scared! If Jorgen takes Westley to his fort, then Anti-Cosmo will waltz straight in and waltz out with him again. A-and babies can't waltz!" "What… Where did you even find…? Babies are illegal in our subspecies without Eros consent. And the Eroses never consent outside the exhibit stock. Did you break into the Nest and take one of their kids?" "Blonda, I… couldn't just let them…"

"Repeat"

And from there, we get this art of Cosmo, Westley, and Nixie:

And this bit from "Told You So"-

"He went for milk," Florensa repeated as though in a daze. Sanderson… sighed. He replaced the silk cover on his crystal and dropped his eyes to his desk. Had his elbows always been this pointy? His arms looked thin and scrawny, barely able to hold his weight. He leaned against them anyway and brought his eyes to hers again. "Forgive me for the small talk. My question may be useful to you… Has your son experienced a major drop in energy? An increase in time spent sleeping? A lack of interest in his usual favored activities? I can't imagine he's in the most whimsical of moods right now." "How do you mean?" "Well… Last time I saw him was at Fairy Con. He floated on sagging wings, looking distressed out of his mind. H.P. had me report it. Even for a fairy, I noticed he expressed considerable emotion during Jorgen's speech. Dm. Cosma, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I think I heard your son ask if he could go back on forget-a-cin. Is this true? Pardon me if I am insensitive with this subject, but… How is he handling the separation from his kids?" There it was… cold and dark between them, like a smooth stone dropped into an unmoving pond. Florensa's blue eyes sharpened like snakeupine quills. "Those… those LEECHES under Jorgen's wing are not my son's children! That miserable SHREW forced responsibility on my precious boy! Oh, I'll wring his little blue NECK until he turns purple from it all!" Sanderson stared blankly back at her, too tired to argue. Now would have been a really good time to have his shades. Could she read his thoughts from his eyes? He tried again. "Has Cosmo spoken lately about the kids? I seem to remember he tried to disappear after Westley was born. Fairy World put out an A.B.B. It wouldn't surprise me if he still thinks about them sometimes. Perhaps he went looking for them. Or went to challenge Jorgen." If Jorgen had crushed him into oblivion with one of his mighty fists, that too might explain the shattered wand. Florensa's wings bristled up. "We don't talk about the kids at home," she snapped. "It wouldn't be good for his health! My son is… He's… he's… Well, he's been under so much stress in the workplace! You know how it is, particularly at his age. I just hope he's not been hurt." Hurt? Sanderson grimaced. It was all too easy to imagine Cosmo flattened into pancake form if he set foot anywhere near Westley or Phoenix. The pair were still the talk of Fairy World to this day. Two common fairy babies… the youngest of their subspecies. The first ones born in 370,000 years. They had to be 40 millennia by now. Jorgen bragged about them at every social opportunity, like he'd finally filled a void deep inside him that godchildren never could. And Anti-Cosmo, of course… Well, Anti-Cosmo had been elated with how things turned out. That was sarcasm. Ha ha. Ha ha. But still true, to some degree. Emotions can be hilarious. From the way he fawned over Anti-Westley (Well… "Talon") with his hands clasped against his cheek, you wouldn't think Anti-Fairy World's bachelor king actually lost his first wife over the whole affair. Or his daughters, for that matter… Anti-Saffron had taken both Anti-Miranda and Anti-Phoenix when she left him. As far as the media could guess, the High Count lived by gritting his fangs to bear it.

Aaaaaaaand this plotline in 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash! :')

"A firstborn will always have more magic than their siblings. Up to two layers of magic can wrap themselves around the core. If the child is the father's firstborn, they'll receive one extra layer, and if the child is their mother's, they'll receive two." Poof's head snaps up like a spring. His hand jolts after it. "But it's okay if they don't… right?" His question seems to catch Serena off guard. "Uh. Well, there's nothing wrong with not having the layers. Younger siblings can be equally as healthy as the firstborn. The extra magic is simply a small benefit the first receives." "Um, what happens if you're a firstborn who doesn't have extra core layers?" "Then that person isn't actually a firstborn." "… What? Are there any exceptions?" "To the firstborn bonus? I don't believe there are any. At least, I've never heard of one." Denzel keeps his head low, scratching out notes, until the silence between the two fairies drags on way too long. Uhh… He looks up again. Poof stares back at his grandmother, shock bleeding his face out to white. She hovers at the front of the room wearing the same look of confusion that Denzel himself might have shown to dancing chipmunks on a ceiling fan. "That's… not true," Poof croaks back. His voice wavers on a string. He drops his head to the desk, wrapping his stubby arms around his head. Um.

"Looking Back"

"Am I adopted?" Poof blurted, not answering the actual question. Auntie Wanda's brows shot off her head. She looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared back at her, wide-eyed and frozen

&

And he laughed, throwing his arms out too the side. "Poof, do you even hear yourself? Or did you just flunk anatomy class? Only firstborns get extra core layers." "… Aren't we firstborns?" "Do… do you not know?" The mental damage Poof took after those words slammed straight into his brain a second later. Foop flinched back, gripping his hair in one fist. Poof's heartbeat spiked- hot, fast, and undeniable, because a cold cloud crashed into Foop's chest like a clenching fist. A spark of purple fire flared like a spooked rabbit in the depths of Poof's eyes. He's not joking. "Has your dad not talked to you about this?" Gary made an attempt to suggest they call it quits for the day. Foop only half heard him. "Poof," he spluttered, "what? You know my Vatajasa name is Fry-sün d'ichord. Did you think I use the title 'second child; second son' ironically!?"

"Sentry"

Finley was just, like… taunting me and saying that I'm adopted." The memory flares tears in my eyes. I sniff, sort of pathetically, and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. "But I'm not… I'm a Cosma and a Fairywinkle." "Adopted," Big Daddy repeats. He flicks his eyes from my crown to shoes. They coast along the freckles down my sides. He shakes his head then. Firm. "You wouldn't have the gene for lateral spots if you weren't a Fairywinkle. Your pheromones match the family's too. Cherry almond. Even if yours are underdeveloped, I can sniff that on you from here. Forget about it, Poof… There's no doubt about it. My little cannoli Wanda is your mother, as sure as I'm your granddaddy."

"I Just Live Here"

😬 ... Yeaaaaaaah...... I've been planning this since 2016.

So, hmm.. I wonder why I drew this during my music meme years ago...

Yeah... Yeeeeeeaaaaah... That's rough, buddy.

Also, no matter the universe, Anti-Cosmo is notoriously bad at paying child support and consistently has a rougher relationship with Talon than H.P. does :'D

I also want to point out that when you're introducing characters and major plot points, take the time to consider how they fit into the world and play off other characters! Talon and Westley influence a ton of people, including Anti-Cosmo, H.P., Anti-Wanda, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Foop, Blonda, Big Daddy, Jorgen, Binky, Cupid, Sanderson, each other... etc. And all this from two photos of two characters who were onscreen for mere seconds, several seasons apart, and don't have speaking lines or even animation...

The big follow-up & "tying loose ends" 'fic for Poof's "Am I adopted?" anxiety is the upcoming Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies - named after a song Wanda wrote, according to "77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)."

It's Poof POV and parallels Foop's war POV in "You'll Never Know." I'm looking forward to posting it, but it's massive and - despite everything this post covers - still contains a lot of major Frayed Knots spoilers related to Cosmo's trauma that we didn't even touch on here, so... it's my baby. Huge personal favorite, though <3

The night before you sent this Ask, I actually sketched potential animatic panels for the Big Fish song "Showdown," even though I don't plan to make an actual animatic. It's been on my Poof inspo playlist for YEARS and was haunting me...

btw, if you like this song... I'm not telling you to do anything, but I AM telling you the songs for this musical regularly disappear from YouTube and have been on and off for many years

Cosmo Wrap-Up

So... [inhales].

When it comes to writing a fan portrayal of a character, there's no replacing doing your own personal study, whatever that means to you - watching episodes, reading 'fics, studying other people's analyses - as you strain out your own version of him.

I think backstory is a really good jumping point for deciding what kinds of things you want to do with Cosmo, and how it ties into how he acts in canon.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Cloud!Cosmo's backstory... and this despite the fact he's one of the characters I rarely put onscreen. He's one of those "characters who haunt the narrative" for me.

... I barely touched on Nixie drama in this post, but if you can guess where THAT'S going... congratulations! It's been heavily foreshadowed in my lore since the start and is super messed-up :'D.

Frayed Knots, my cruel beloved...

My Cosmo is super specific, and the many intricate layers at play here definitely influence how I write him. Which is a fantastic jumping off point for me if I ever get stuck.

Key points that come from the backstory I've given him include:

- Cosmo growing up without a lot of life experience, so he looks to others for advice. This can easily lead him to trouble if he follows the wrong crowd. - Tension between Cosmo and Mama Cosma, especially in regards to her being annoyed at Wanda and wanting Cosmo to marry someone who's "better for him" - Cosmo doesn't give up easily & is willing to take matters into his own hands. However, he does have his breaking point and massive amounts of trauma and anxiety, which he covers by wiping memories from his head - Cosmo is overprotective of his car because it's one of the only things in his life that's exclusively his and which he has control over (Setting us up for drama in "Repeat" when Poof panics about how he crashed the car... which spirals Poof into his vegan lifestyle, where he punishes himself by cutting meat from his diet despite being a carnivore, so that's a whole thing) - Cosmo is smart in a very specific way related to the stars, cars, energy, electricity, and the Fairy baby ban history... things that aren't necessarily common for godkids to ask about. Also, some random smarts leak through his fractured memories - Cosmo struggling with self-hatred because "he used to be smarter" and gets upset he can't remember things well - Cosmo in hiding (Ex: Only pays with cash to avoid being traced; I have an upcoming scene where he starts panicking about how he's slow and holding up the line and Poof steps in to help) - Cosmo's memory problems (Regularly on forget-a-cin) - Cosmo being clingy towards Wanda and/or struggling to make friends and trust others (especially in academia) - Cosmo's postpartum depression (Struggles with snappiness, loneliness, and fear that Poof doesn't like him) - Cosmo and Wanda having their second kid (Dusty) very early compared to the usual distance between siblings in Fairy society - Cosmo desperate to soak up time with his kids / godkids (Leading him to grant Timmy's secret wish to freeze time - Canon event) - Cosmo and Wanda being really anxious about Poof's relationship with Goldie, who comes from a species known for "tempting drakes away from their parents to join harems" (à la "Opinion" when they try to discourage Poof from dating her) -> And the change of heart Cosmo and Wanda have later in "All I Ever Wanted" when they tell Poof they support him and don't want him to elope and cut them from his life like they cut their parents. -> And Cosmo being extremely "dad" and gentle with Poof in that piece when Poof has his anxiety attack - Cosmo will absolutely have a breakdown if you ask him directly about Westley or Nixie, which is why he and Wanda are waiting until Poof is older to bring it up.

Actually, here's a scene about that last one!

“My friends said I’m not a firstborn because I don’t have the extra magic layers around my core. Am I really your first kid?” My dad screamed. No words, just a scream. I jerked back, and he whirled around and slammed his hand into the wall. It slid down, and he went with it in a shaking mess on the floor. Mom took my elbow and guided me from the room, promising we’d talk later after she made sure he was all right. I hovered in the next room, hands clapped to my mouth, not sure what to do. That evening, Mama came to find me. “Poof-” “I don’t want to know,” I blurted, plugging my ears. I clenched my eyes shut. “Just tell me I’m a weirdo who was born without the extra layers. If I’m not your first, I don’t want to know.”

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies

:'D ...

[Laughs in Frayed Knots] - Cosmo honey, you've got a big storm comin'...

For anyone wanting to write Cosmo, I suggest finding some moments from the show (OG series, New Wish, whatever) that you find interesting and want to delve into (or that you use to define your personal view of Cosmo- Who he is; what you like about him).

You might end up wanting to write a backstory 'fic, and if you don't, at least you'll have a good idea of what you envision his story being like, which can shape creative interpretation of his character.

A loose outline, thought web, or note sheet might be helpful- I usually make Tumblr posts or write one-shots to work through my thoughts.

Obviously, a lot of the stuff I listed above are things the series never delves into. I like the freedom of making stuff up for Cosmo, exploring what makes him tick in my own way, but there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple like "Well, my Cosmo was a small town kid who didn't really leave home until he fell in with Wanda."

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be interesting! Feel free to tag me when you post your 'fic so I can check it out <3

Other Cosmo writing resources:

- My brief bio of Cosmo

- Let's Talk Cosmo - Early character study

- My "Cosmo can be a tricky character to write" video clips + my analysis of them (I always meant to do one of these for other characters, but never got around to it~)

- Personal analysis on Cosmo's depression - I write Anti-Cosmo with bipolar disorder and this has been an interesting parallel.

-> Cosmo's postpartum depression is particularly fun for me and was glimpsed in "Repeat" flashbacks where he was hiding emotions from Wanda & working through his "Why would the baby like me if I don't even like me?" struggles. I always wanted to make its own 'fic about it, but it was very depressing, so I stopped :'D whodathunk...

- I like this scene in "I Dream of Cosmo" where Cosmo is trying to pull the reins in on Timmy's Dad :)

- I also like this scene from "Desperate Without Housewives," which takes place in Season 9 (after Jorgen stops wiping Crocker's memories in Season 7*. In this scene, now that Crocker's memory isn't wiped anymore, Cosmo blatantly outs himself as a fairy and Crocker just :|

* very heavily implied; my interpretation of the ending is that Jorgen actively exposed Crocker's relatives to Fairies to power the Big Wand and why would he erase Crocker's memory if he's doing that, but it's not technically confirmed... However, the episodes after this do seem to depict Crocker extremely sure of Timmy's fairies, no longer theorizing, and Kevin... also seems to have some memory immunity? Unclear, but if Cosmo was acting Like That in "Chip Off the Old Crock" because he was trying to pull the same joke with Kevin he pulled with Denzel, that's flippin' hilarious. But Timmy's Dad doesn't know and I like to think Crocker is covering for Cosmo in front of him in this scene when he nervously laughs Cosmo's comment off

Characters I Find Tricky to Write

I'll try to keep this section short since this post got out of hand, but thanks for asking!

I do think Cosmo is very hard to write. I'd probably say he's the most difficult for me. I can talk all I want about what I think his character IS, but that doesn't mean I know what to make him SAY in any given scene- especially considering I tend to write drama stories, and that's not a good playing field for him (He's better with adventure or romance or humor).

Secret knowledge I have from a close study of Cosmo I did once upon a time - he favors long sentences, not choppy ones. I feel like it's easy to default to "This character doesn't have deep thoughts, so I'll just have them say something quick and random." I'm sure Cosmo has his fair share of short comments, but recognizing his long sentences changed something for me. Made me think more carefully about how specific he's going to be.

I think he worked great in "Repeat" when he was the POV character and had to move things along - he had no choice & his internal dialogue was able to cover for the characterization his dialogue couldn't - but I don't do well when he's a side character and I need him to "say something funny" to sound like Cosmo.

Not one of my favorites to write, but that's because I like making characters clash and have long conversations about complicated topics. Cosmo isn't necessarily a fun one for that, or to see get in an emotionally heated situation with. I think he'd just leave... ... but I liked "Repeat" when he COULDN'T leave us, so we were privy to all the secrets he wouldn't say.

You might be surprised, but I genuinely like writing Anti-Cosmo long and rambly- I get to do this in Frayed Knots (which is a completely unique narration tone from Origin of the Pixies, which is informative but blunt).

I especially liked Reedfilter Rules Chapter 2, when he uses some VERY heavy (as in flowery) and long-winded language for his internal commentary. Sadly... a lot of people aren't fans of reading that kind of thing :'D And I do not blame them... but I enjoyed it.

That chapter took YEARS of on and off attention to finalize because I wanted him to be perfect before I locked myself into a certain style for the rest of the AU, but honestly... I'm not sure I can - or should bother to - mimic that for future chapters.

idk. I think it's fun, but my goal was to write RR!Anti-Cosmo's internal narration distinct from Clouds!Anti-Cosmo's, and I think I succeeded. Just not sure if it's worth doing twice to that extreme.

One of the comments Frayed Knots tends to get is that it's exhausting... not only for length of its own merit, but also because Anti-Cosmo rambles about worldbuilding and it can make readers free pressured to retain the info and/or it just confuses or bores them. And I totally get that...

... but also, I cannot emphasize enough that Knots' style is like that on purpose. Have you met this man? He SHOULD be bothering you- he's REALLY annoying and he talks a lot. And also, if you get lost along the way, I think he'd find that amusing and would do it more. lmao. get wrecked.

/whispers loudly - His whole thing is that his mom and stepdad think he's annoying and they're not especially nice to him - in fact, they both outright abuse him - and they don't really feel bad about it because he is just THAT bothersome, which is why he falls in with people like H.P., Blonda, and Anti-Wanda - who "just get him" - down the line. Hilariously, Wanda does not have patience for him... as much as he has a crush on her and wishes she did.

Sorry to everyone who takes his longwindedness as clumsy, frustrating writing. You're correct, but so am I. If I have to sit here in his annoying head for 8 years of writing this 'fic, you have to sit here with me <3

Genuinely though, rambling is A.C.'s thing and I like doing that in his other POV stories, like "Yellow Flower Number 9" (linked below). He literally stops shopping to dump his woes on a cashier and I think that's very fitting for him. Man loves his monologues...

I write a lot of H.P.-Anti-Cosmo interactions, but because I strive for canon-compliancy, I can't allow H.P. to call him by his "A.C." nickname until he canonically gives it to him in "Fairly Odd Baby" (A.C. seems surprised by the nickname, but says he likes it).

- You wouldn't think it would matter, but the amount of times I've had to sigh and fix a draft with the nickname is not 5. - Compare with "Yellow Flower Number 9," where he calls him A.C. like 4 times in 20 minutes, lol.

Hmm, hardest character... Ooh, I think it's Jorgen. I really like how I wrote him in "Whatever," specifically here-

Jorgen's hand shot forward. He grabbed Juan in his fist and squeezed until the fairy shrieked and started spitting pleas. Then Jorgen jerked his hand over to Seneca. She flinched back. "I am not here to wait around and answer all your pathetically obvious questions. That is what he is for. You can ask him. As for me, I have two appendixes to separate and a great deal of paperwork to do." He dropped Juan to the floor, then crashed his walking stick (Star staff, sun staff) down too. The force of it sent a shockwave across the clinic.

- but I'm extremely self-conscious of him in general. I don't use him much.

Oh, Chloe takes a ton of attention. She has a super specific speech pattern of using contractions to start her many, many follow-up sentences to her thoughts (She builds on her thoughts and elaborates in a series of addendums).

She speaks her mind and is kind of "deadpan snark" about it, but in a happy way. She also has very weird phrasings. Fascinating.

I wrote about her speech pattern HERE, but she's unique for sure. I'm quite pleased with how I wrote her in "This Is a Box."

I also think Vicky can be tricky to balance realism with what a threat she is... particularly if you're trying not to lampshade the consequences of her actions (although the show does). I look forward to writing her in combination with Dale especially. I have free reign to push Dale way past where I can realistically push Timmy without Timmy reacting, so I think that might be fun.

I had a lot of fun writing Trixie in Chapter 4 of Come What May, when Kevin meets her at Shirley's Pizzeria (and I enjoyed Tad, Chad, and Veronica both in that chapter and the previous). Kevin meeting the popular kids was one of my favorite topics in general :)

I struggle with Kevin flipping from high energy to extremely self-deprecating. I tend to play him as dead inside, which I do think is accurate, but I do think Come What May is missing the humor that comes from being the guy who kicks down a door yelling "Yo, yo, you! Crockmeister in the hizzy!" or answers his phone with "This is the Crockmeister; crock to me!"

I'd love to finish this 'fic, but it always feels depressing to me :'D I was going for "quirky middle grade adventure," but I ended up with gloom and creepiness. Idk what to do to make it fun and I hesitate to touch it if it might bring me down, so I procrastinate.

I think I need to practice my Mark Chang voice to make him more fun and quirky instead of stating plain facts.

Also, for the longest time, I felt kind of guilty that I write Anti-Cosmo as an overly anxious loser when (afaik), most of the fandom don't consider that even close to their vision, so I felt like I was bashing on their favorite even though I was genuinely trying to write him the way I see him, but... sldkfj. vindicated!!

Thank you New Wish for reminding me he really is that much of a cringefail loserboy <3

No matter what happens with the series from this point on... "Battle of Big Wand" Anti-Cosmo, you will always be famous to me.

[kaladinstormblessed09]

I finished RoW and now I don’t know what to do with myself. Please no spoilers for any of the secret projects and TLM. I haven’t read them yet. Also there’ll be bands of mourning spoilers in the review along with RoW

I loved all of Kaladin’s arc. I suffer from depression as well, so it was so relatable to see a main character in a fantasy series struggling too. And he struggles. This book Kaladin hits the lowest point. Starting from chapter 10 when he gets discharged, I cried on his behalf. I knew it was necessary. He kept freezing in the middle of the battle, but Kal was feeling betrayed by Dalinar even when he knew it was the right decision, and I felt the same. Even though I knew this was the right decision. He needed to be away from the fighting, from the battle. Kaladin’s scenes with Wit during the middle of his nightmare was one of my favorite moments in all stormlight. Wit tells kaladin that he'll be warm again, and I’ll hold Brandon to this. You cannot kill Kal off after you promised him that he'll be okay. Brandon, I’ll come for you. Don’t you dare hurt kal. And then Moash kills Teft. Sigh. This was spoiled for me, so all through the book I kept waiting for this. It was not a good experience. I thought he was going to die when the tower got taken, but then he didn’t. And I just wanted to get it over with, because it gave me so much anxiety knowing what happens but not when. I was almost relieved when Moash (I’m not calling him Vyre, that pretentious asshole) shows up. I knew it was about to happen now. I was mentally ready, but it still hurt so much. I cried the most in Row. Kaladin being catatonic holding Teft’s dead body is an image that will haunt me, and I’ll never forgive Moash. I don’t want a redemption arc for him. And before all Moash apologists come for me, it’s not because he killed Elhokar. I get that. It’s because he tried to manipulate Kaladin into killing himself. He used the things Kaladin told him in confidence and used them to get him to commit suicide. He was going to kill Lirin to use his death to further manipulate Kal, and he killed Teft. I don’t fucking care what deep reasoning you use to explain why he did what he did I don’t forgive him. And death is too easy for him. I want him to live with the pain. I want odium to stop taking away his pain. Even if Kaladin someday forgives him, which I don’t think he should. He killed Teft, I will never forgive him.

Lirin really annoyed me all throughout the book. He told kaladin at one point that he should’ve been a good slave, then maybe all these wouldn’t have happened to him. And just for that fuck Lirin. He’s a pacifist to the point where he maintains the status quo, and these types of people annoy me. If you want to live under the oppression good for you, but don’t begrudge the resistance. In the end he pulls through though. Now be a better father to Kal. Don’t call him a monster, or I’ll come for you Lirin. I’ll learn how to isekai into books and give Kal all the love that he deserves.

We barely got any Dalinar povs, and I’m mostly fine with it. I didn’t want to see the campaign at Emul, it’s just another battle. But I wanted more Jasnah. Jasnah/Wit relationship caught me off guard, because I always head cannoned Jasnah as a lesbian, but now I think she’s asexual? Someone please correct me if I’m wrong. It’s just really weird to see Wit/Hoid in a relationship. In the epilogue, did someone really got one over Hoid? Or was Hoid pretending? I can never tell with him. Also, the leader of the ghostsblood was Kelsier all along! And he named himself Lord of Scars. That’s the stupidest name ever. I love him so much! I have missed him.

I really liked all the fused stuff. Leshwi was one of my faves. I liked her and Kaladin’s on/off enmity. It was a fascinating dynamic. Actually, Brandon did such a good job with the characterization of the fused. Raboniel being my favorite. She was such a good character. She reminded me a bit of a mix of Semirhage/Ishamael from WoT. Her just trying to end this war that just goes on and on for eternity. Her motivations were so understandable. When she killed her daughter to save her from infinite torture I cried so much. The dynamic between her and Navani made me forget about Dalinar. I wanted them to get together and do science.

Navani was such a standout character. I love her, even though a lot of the science stuff went over my head. Her dealing with her imposter syndrome while inventing new fabrials and creating anti-voidlight. Aaaah the whole process was so freaking amazing. It makes me so mad to think about the prologue where Gavilar was such a shit to her. I’m glad he died, and that we get to see him die over and over again. I called it from the moment sibling was introduced that Navani would bond her and it felt so good when that happened!

I’m probably forgetting so much, but I had a blast. I inhaled this book in less than a week, and I kind of want to reread from TWoK again now. Waiting till December is going to be brutal. I’m so excited for Wind and Truth. I think it’ll be Szeth’s book. He’s such an underrated character and now him and Kal are teaming up to go to Shinovar. I can’t wait!

[fabbyf1]

Hi!

I’m not sure of this is how to go about this correctly.

I’m not sure what your position is on others drawing inspiration/directly from your incredible fan fiction writing but, on Ao3 there is a fic called ❤️lestappen- One shorts💙 by lestapeeen. The most recent chapter (14) is very similar to the monza chapter of long live(twwct) specifically the piggy back and proposal promise. some of the dialogue is exactly the same.

I figured you should know. If it’s a cool with you or if you knew already, sorry to be a bother.

DISCLAIMER: This post, by no means, is asking for ANYBODY to send this author mentioned (and tagged) below hate. On anon or main. I have been pretty damn clear with my feelings on the matter below. They know what they've done, and I won't stand for it. Nobody needs to make this worse by sending them death threats. With that out of the way, let's deep dive, shall we?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

First off, god bless you, bestie. God BLESS you. I want to smooch you on your incredibly wonderful forehead. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I cannot be everywhere at once and cannot possibly read every fanfic posted to AO3, but it's not fucking cool for people to straight-up plagiarize my shit.

Secondly, I'd like to ask that if ANY of my followers come across something that looks very suspiciously similar to my fics, please let me know. You can for sure send it on anon, or send me a dm.

Now, with that being said, I clicked on this fucking fic not knowing what to think. I went into it with a pretty open mind, knowing that there are quite a few authors currently posting fics that are verrrrrrrrrrry similar to my writing style. I've gotten pretty close to calling a few of these authors out but haven't for a few reasons.

Fanfics based on the same ship, in the same canon setting, are always going to be... let's use the word "similar" here. The plot can only change so much when you're following canon events, you know? I don’t write AUs, so I’m only going off canon-inspired fics. My fics generally follow along with canon timelines and therefore, other author’s fics that follow the same timeline are going to be... similar. I get that and accept that.

Characterizations are bound to be... well, fuck it, let's use that word "similar" again. I'm gonna be pretty forgiving when someone's Max is damn near the same as my Max because one: I'm a good and forgiving person, and two: I think my characters (while totally fucking fictional) are very life-like to the real person. So, with that in mind, when I read a fic with characterizations similar to mine... I will usually give somebody grace... and accept that maybe, just possibly, they see Max Verstappen (the person) the same way I do (fictionally) and it’s a big old coincidence that our fics read so similar. You know? Does that make sense?

But with all that being said, I’m not a fucking idiot. 

And honestly? I give more grace than I should on this goddamn website. (lmfao, respectfully.) This is sadly not the first time that somebody has very much written in my likeness, and I know it won't be the last. But this is definitely the boldest version of plagiarism I've seen. I haven’t clicked on any chapter except for 14, and I heavily skimmed the first part, but let’s take a little deep dive into some of the highlights. Because I will show the receipts, bestie.

from their story:

from long live:

..... right, let's move on.

from their story:

from long live:

okay................. sure

from their story:

from long live:

If you're going to plagiarize my shit... you could at least put it in a different font, so to speak. "Hey, can I copy your homework?” “Sure, but change it up a bit.” 

Girlie pop, you stopped even trying to change it the fuck up. 

Let me be clear: I do not authorize anybody to translate, re-post or distribute my work without my written consent. This is in a disclaimer (that I will post below) in every single one of my fics. Taking MY dialogue is NOT okay. 

Direct quote from the beginning note of Long Live:  DISCLAIMER #4: This is 100% fictional, and I do not own any person, team, or sponsor referenced in this story. I mean no offense to any person(s) mentioned and characterized in this story. I am not affiliated with any part of Formula 1 or its subsections. Please do not translate, re-post, or distribute my work without my written consent. I will cry.

To sum up, writing is not easy, and it takes time and effort. Time away from my friends, my girlfriend, my family. Time away from my job and my other hobbies. Long Live is 76 thousand words and took me countless hours to write.

To have somebody so blatantly and disrespectfully post MY SHIT as their own and not even try to give me credit? To not write a note that said, “Heyyyyy go read long live, which I [clearly] really enjoyed!” or even a “Some of this dialogue was inspired by @fabbyf1” or even just a “lmfao some of this i didn’t write but the rest i did” really pisses me off.

Why did it ever have to come to this?

I am SO disappointed right now.

Happy fucking Friday, I guess.

For full transparency, here is the link to their fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55255699 and here is the link to their tumblr: @l-estappen

Here is the link to MY fic, which was posted on April 2nd, 2023, and written in Google Docs with revision history about a month before that. I have receipts out the fucking ass, my dear. https://archiveofourown.org/works/46190509/chapters/116284915

Be well.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Life Can Be Terrible, but at Least You're In It [Hotch x Reader]

Prompt: This is a mix of two of @imagining-in-the-margins Meet Cute writing challenge dialogue prompts. I’ve mixed the two prompts: “Do you believe in Fate” and “This was way too cliched” to write this fic. 

Category: Angst/Comfort/Smut

Word Count: 9.2K

Content Warnings: Canon typical violence, U.S. police, hatred/violence against a religious group, light drinking, mention of self-harm (cutting - healed scars and one instance of open scars in the past), brief mention of childhood abuse, sex (oral -- fem and masc receiving, p in v). 

A/N: Oh boy, I have lots to say. To start, this is another @imagining-in-the-margins inspired fic for her Meet Cute writing challenge. Moving on from that: first off, this is an 18+ story, minors DNI. I love engagement, but if you’re a minor this is not for you. Thank you for respecting this boundary. Second, this turned into a bit of trauma dumping for me. I’ve been having some thoughts about my past choices and decided to write them out with Hotch as a character (you know he’s a great listener.) Third, this is my first time posting smut, if it’s not great, please forgive me. I hope to get better at it as I keep writing for Aaron. Last, this turned out wayyyyy longer than I anticipated. As I’ve stated before, I find it hard to characterize Hotch if I’m not writing a ton which is evidenced here. 

Please, please, please read the content warnings. If reading about scars and past self-harm might trigger you, please pass this one by. If you are thinking about engaging in self-harm, please reach out to a loved one or someone you trust. You deserve support. If all else fails, here is a support number you can call to get some help: Self Harm Crisis Line. 

On a more positive note, If you enjoy this fic, likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated. I hope you all have a great night. 

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

y/b/f = your best friend 

y/f/a = your favorite author 

y/f/f = your favorite flower 

f/c = your favorite color

Aaron was nervous about tonight. It was the first time that y/n was coming over to his place before a date. Normally he would offer to meet her at her apartment and they they would go out from there, or just hang out around the warm space doing something relaxing like cooking dinner or watching one of their favorite movies or TV shows. But last Thursday she had shown an interest in seeing his place and honestly, he didn’t have a valid excuse for why she shouldn’t come over. He kept his space neat and clean, he just thought that it didn’t have that much personality, but it would have to do and he knew she wouldn’t judge him if his taste was metrosexual. y/n had given her care and affection to him, not his apartment. 

He hadn’t meant to have feelings for his newest agent. In fact, he made it a point to not fall in love with any of his agents or the women at the bureau as the idea of mixing work and pleasure felt all too unsure. If something went bad, or the relationship faltered, the fallout to the team would be immense, and he didn’t want to risk his own career for the sake of his team. However, when y/n had hastily been added on after a case that required a domestic terrorist and cult specialist, y/n had joined the team for what Aaron had assumed would be just the one case. He was hesitant to add someone new, but Strauss had him cornered on the issue and he agreed because he didn’t have a choice. He was weary of y/n -- not willing to trust someone he hadn’t vetted or already knew. However, y/n had sat back and didn’t assume a commanding role at all during the case.

She paid attention to the facts and then looked at them from her lens of expertise. When she needed help she had asked JJ or Emily, and one time when it had only been him and y/n at the precinct, he had asked, “How are you feeling?” y/n had looked up and faced the intensity of his gaze and said, “I’m a bit lost, to be honest. I didn’t know it was going to be like this, but I think I’ve found some things that match the preliminary profile that would confirm the unsub was the leader of a religious cult with white Nationalist ideologies.” Hotch nodded. He might have been weary of y/n but at least she was honest and hadn’t done anything foolish or detrimental to the team yet.

He pulled his eyes away from her gaze and moved closer to her saying, “Show me what you have?” He could see her physically relax as if she was expecting a reprimand instead of him wanting to listen to her, and he wondered if this was the natural response he got from most people who didn’t know him. At this, his internal monologue answered, “How can people get to know you, Aaron? You don’t open up.” Hotch pushed the thought aside and nodded that he was ready to hear what she had. 

y/n observations had been instrumental in finding the unsubs and his compound's location. y/n just didn’t know how to slip her information in with the current profile. When the case was finished, Aaron sincerely extended a hand and said, “Thank you for your help, y/n, your insight was needed in solving this case. I may call on you again if another case like this comes to our team.” y/n had taken his hand and given in a firm shake, slightly awed by what she assumed was praise coming from someone as important and well-known as Agent Hotchner. She had replied, “It would be my honor, Sir.” With that he let the woman leave the tarmac.

Once y/n was inside the bullpen, she checked to make sure Agent Hotchner wasn’t nearby, and she approached Emily, who was packing to go home. Emily looked at her and smiled, asking, “What’s up y/n?” y/n faltered for a second before saying, “Is Agent Hotchner always that, intense?” Emily smiled softly and replied, “Yeah, pretty much.” The brunette added, possibly because she was working through her own feelings for the team's enigmatic leader, “But he’s a good man and a good leader. In the end, he puts this team above everything else.” y/n blushed, realizing this was more than just a simple observation about Agent Hotchner. At this point, Aaron returned to the bullpen after calling Hailey to let her know that he was back and would be home that evening. He nodded at Emily and when she nodded back, y/n couldn't help but turn and see who Emily was looking at. Once she realized it was Agent Hotchner she snapped back to looking the other way; something Aaron hadn’t missed. 

Aaron had called y/n for two more cases over the next three and a half months. y/n was a quick learner and during the next case, she was more prepared and tried to participate with the team more, willing to offer a comment that she thought would be useful. She still stood in the background most of the time, but it was clear she had improved from the first time she was on the team. When y/n and Derek were standing by the coffee pot at the local precinct, Morgan said, “y/n, I notice you’re a lot more on top of things this time. You’re doing a good job, that’s not always easy on a team like this.”

y/n smiled and replied, “Well I did sort of research the team after the first case. You know not like stalking you or anything, I just read over a few of the previous major cases and stuff.” Derek nodded his approval and said, “Well it looks like the work is paying off.” While y/n thanked Derek, Aaron was standing a few feet away in the hallway and had heard the entire conversation. It wasn’t uncommon for people who spent a brief time on the team to do this. He got emails all the time from those who had had their brief stint on a case asking for a transfer. He also got emails from agents that had never set foot in the bullpen and to those he sent an automatically generated reply and then he would delete the email.

Those who had worked for the team before might come back for a case, but rarely did he find them improved. Aaron realized that this felt callous maybe, but it was his job to have a cohesive team. A team that worked together in the worst possible circumstances and he wasn’t going to throw that away just because someone wanted to work with him or the team. However, Derek was right and he took a moment to look over at y/n wondering if just once, he was going to be proven wrong. 

The third case Aaron called y/n into was a bad one. A group of domestic terrorists were kidnapping, torturing, and killing men from Middle Eastern countries, particularly those that were influential in the Islamic religion. The police were stumped, but y/n immediately said, “This is probably extremism based off of post-9/11 sentiments. The two-year anniversary is coming up and this could easily be someone affected on the ground or someone that got sent back from Iraq during Desert Storm.” The New York Police had a lot of opposition to the idea, but Aaron was aware that they would be very biased in their opinions on the matter as it was so close to home. He assuaged their fears, but later he pulled y/n and Spencer aside and told both of them to keep running with y/n’s initial theory.

As it turned out the call was coming from inside the house, or rather the police station as the unsub was one of the officers on staff at the station. He had spiraled quickly as the team got closer and closer to finding him. As a last desperate act, the officer, Monroe, had found another victim and pulled them to the station, threatening to bomb a religious building in the city and shoot the innocent victim if the BAU didn’t find someone else to blame for his crimes in an hour. y/n had been in the lady's room as this unfolded in the main lobby, but she heard the gunfire and quickly and quietly moved closer. She overheard the last of the unsubs plan. As Spencer tried to talk the man down, y/n had slipped her sidearm out of its holster and removed the safety.

She looked into the mirror that showed the main room to pinpoint the location of Officer Monroe. For a moment before she made the final move into the open space, she looked to the side and caught Hotch’s eye. He gave her a minuscule nod, telling her to go ahead. Aaron jumped and pulled Spencer to the ground and the millisecond they were both in the clear before the unsub could figure out what was happening, y/n shot the man’s right hand which was holding his sanctioned firearm, and then y/n shot his shoulder, fully incapacitating officer Monroe. When this was done, Derek rushed forward and pulled the unsub away from the victim. Emily and JJ moved toward the victim and after she had re-engaged the safety and put her gun away, y/n helped Hotch and Spencer to their feet. 

Aaron looked over y/n for signs of shock or distress given that she had just been in a highly dangerous position and that she had just shot a man twice. He didn’t see any of those signs in her as she let go of Spencer's hand and moved toward JJ and Emily to provide some help with the victim who was now in hysterics. Instead, Aaron saw a steely calm resolve in y/n’s demeanor, indicating that this was hardly the first time she had been put under this kind of pressure. As Hotch moved toward the cuffed unsub he noticed the clean shot to the hand and shoulder, not meant to kill but incapacitate the unsub. Officer Monroe was screaming a stream of obscenities and racial epitaphs at anyone in earshot but mostly directed at the victim and y/n. Aaron and Derek roughly grabbed the man’s arms and moved him to another room. As they walked, Aaron turned to the man and said, “Shut up, or I’ll wait to call the paramedics until it’s too late to save your hand. 

A few hours later after the unsub had been transferred to the hospital in custody he overheard some of the officers speaking negatively of the team, and particularly of y/n who had been the one to originally spot the ‘bad apple’ among their ranks. Aaron was overly familiar with the police and justice system and he knew that the police unions and members were a big boys club where they would do almost anything to protect their paychecks, reputation, and each other. Bitterly he thought, 'Well if you’re so concerned, maybe stop perpetrating injustice.’ As Aaron entered the room with the officers he realized that y/n was in the same room speaking with JJ.

The officers had been speaking just loudly enough for y/n to overhear their comments. Something in Aaron twitched uncomfortably. Maybe it was the fact that y/n wasn’t even a real member of the team and was being villainized, or the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop the officers from their conversation. When he passed by the men he frowned at them, and for a moment they grew silent as he passed. As he approached the two women, they made space for him to stand, and he turned his gaze to y/n saying, “Good shooting today. Especially given the fact that you only had that mirror to guess your angles and distance. A lot of innocent people would be dead if it hadn’t been for you.” As much as Agent Hotchner’s complement burned her insides in a pleasant way, she replied in a controlled manner, saying, “I was just doing my job, Sir.”

Aaron nodded slightly and he intentionally caught her gaze and when he was sure he had it, he looked over to the men who had been making vitriolic statements toward her. y/n followed his eyes and when he was looking at her again she just gave a small shrug of the shoulders, as if saying, ‘Yeah, I heard, but what can you do?” This response tugged a small smile from him, and he cleared his throat and turned to JJ to ask her a question about the media response. Although y/n and even Aaron might not realize it, y/n had passed most of his internal tests for the Agents he allowed on his team. 

When y/n received an email from Hotch asking her to meet him at his office two days from now, she worried that something had happened. That she had made some kind of error. y/n arrived at the Bureau at the designated time and knocked on the door that was slightly ajar. Hotch called her in and said, “Take a seat, Agent y/n.” y/n did as asked and felt an uncomfortable churning in her stomach. After a moment of silence, y/n couldn’t take the anticipation anymore, making the first rash move she had while being around the BAU team and Agent Hotchner in general. She asked, “Have I done something wrong Agent Hotchner?”

Again there was a lingering silence that felt like it lasted ages before Aaron replied, “If I sent you a transfer request to the BAU to join my team, would you accept?” The words took a moment to register, and y/n’s eyes went wide. It took all her strength from not letting her jaw drop at the very suggestion. Needing another moment to let the words process, she gave the throw-away comment, “Sir?” Aaron knew she had heard him and if there was one thing about him, it was that he didn’t repeat himself if he knew the other party had heard him. Even for someone as new as y/n. There was yet another silence and finally, y/n had the brain function to say, “Well if that transfer request were to happen, then I would have to have the sad and uncomfortable conversation with my own unit chief and let them know that I would be accepting a new position in the Bureau.”

Hotch caught onto y/n’s hypothetical language but could see in her eyes that she would accept his offer. He cleared his throat and pulled an unnecessary piece of paper in front of him for some reason, moving his eyes to the random form in front of him. He looked back up and there was that kind of shocked look that people got around him sometimes. It was odd for him to see this one y/n’s face, but he couldn’t blame her. Offers like his came once in a lifetime. Less than that really. He gave her one last look before stating, “You’ll receive an email from me on Monday.” 

The transition from the terrorism unit to the BAU was good for the team as a whole. Having a new set of eyes on the cases and a new dynamic shook up the team in a way that reinvigorated their brains. y/n wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes and she owned up to them. Hotch reprimanded her like he would any old or new member of the team. With time she became an integral part of the unit. And in that time Hotch couldn’t help but be drawn to her. It wasn’t like a magnet or love at first sight; he was far too cynical to believe in things like that, but Hotch had paid attention to her in a way that he hadn’t with the other team members. Maybe it was because he hadn’t needed to train and mentor a new member of the team since Emily had joined and he had told himself, ‘There isn’t a valid reason for you to not pay closer attention to y/n.’ As it would turn out, this would be a recurrent theme with him and his thoughts toward y/n. 

The first time Aaron knew he was in trouble in regard to y/n was after she had been with the team for a few months. She had started to do this ritual where after each case when each member of the team had gotten home, she would text them all individually simply asking, “Are you doing okay?” Or some variation of that simple, yet loaded question. The first time Aaron had received that message he was confused for a second, but simply responded, “I’m fine.” To which y/n had simply replied, “Good.”

The second time it had happened Aaron realized that she was being very intentional with this message, both in its simplicity and when she was sending it. Often after a case, even up until the team had arrived back at the emotions and adrenaline ran high, either because of the excitement or sheer rush of feelings that could overwhelm someone when dealing with such difficult circumstances. But getting a message like that after a few hours, after getting to a safe space and the real underlying emotions had a chance to set in allowed the team members to give an honest response - not one based off of heightened states. Similarly, the simply worded message allowed for a range of responses from a two-word sentence to full-fledged conversations if wanted or needed. After two more cases, Aaron indulged in the possibility of opening up. 

Haley had recently left him and y/n was the only one who seemed, even if not directly relating to his recent separation, to provide a space for him to open up. He replied, “I’m home safe. I have some conflicting feelings about the outcome of this case. I don’t feel the closure that I sometimes do when we finish with a case.” Aaron sent the message and wondered if this sounded desperate? If his own personal experience was on clear display, and if it was, how _y/n_ was going to respond. He didn’t have to wait long as his phone pinged and he read y/n’s reply “It’s good to know your home. Would you like to talk about the case?

It was a rough one, even by the team's standards.” Aaron slumped down onto his couch letting out a long breath. If y/n had read deeper into his personal life, she hadn’t highlighted it and was still providing space for him to continue talking either about what this was really about, or the case itself. Aaron realized that he needed to take a deeper look at himself if a case and Hailey leaving was having such a profound impact on him. He realized that y/n’s checking in was very likely a way that she coped with the horrors she saw on the job, and he didn’t want to burden her with his personal problems along with the darkness that their work included.

He typed out, “No. Not really,” and sent that message out to the ether. Aaron closed his eyes as he waited for a response. It came in a few minutes, and he looked at his phone. The message from y/n read, “Okay. Take care of yourself, please.” Hotch’s heart gave a tiny tug that she would say something so candid and caring toward him. He typed out, “Thank you, y/n,” and his thumb ghosted over the send button before he changed his mind and deleted the message and typed out instead, “See you on Monday, y/n.” Aaron realized that if he sent the other message the hint of feelings that he was just becoming aware of might bubble up bigger than the tiny drip they were at now might emerge. Hotch stood and undid his tie and the buttons on his shirt.

A last ping of his phone made him look at it one last time with tired, blurry eyes. The response read, “See you Monday, Hotch.” Aaron clicked his phone off as he pulled off his shirt to go and take a hot shower. Again there was that nagging tug at his heart because in her letting him go for the night, she was also trying to give him what he wanted, space. 

But texting wasn’t the reason that he was now straightening the pillows on his couch and, God knows why, moving into his bedroom and smoothing the sheet and comforter on his bed. He didn’t expect them to end up there at the end of the night, in fact, he expected that y/n would go back to her place and he would stay here, missing her. Anyway, he did it just in case. As he reflected back to the moment that had really made him start having serious feelings for y/n was when she called him and used his first name for the first time. It had been a bad case. A case involving kids being killed and manipulated by the unsub. After not taking the deal with Foyett, Aaron’s brain constantly swirled with thoughts of his son, and any case involving kids made him tense up and made him question his choices.

Anytime he had interacted with the children who had been affected and traumatized by the unsub he saw Jack’s face there. He was overwhelmed with emotions, anger, fear, and sadness. It was all too much for him. When the team arrived home after the case and he had made his way to his apartment he fell into bed exhausted. He had forgotten that y/n would text and he was even more surprised when he was woken by his phone ringing. He clicked answer and pulled it to his ear. With a gentle voice, y/n had said, “Hotch, Aaron. Are you going to be okay?”

Hotch’s sleep-addled brain took a moment to register his first name on y/n’s lips, but the feeling it provoked was still surprising. Not that he was unaware of his growing feelings for her, just that he had been suppressing them; holding them tight to his chest in his innermost being. He realized after a moment that he hadn’t responded to y/n’s question and finally, he said groggily, “Sorry, I was just taking a nap.” There was a pause and then y/n replied, “No, I’m sorry. I can let you go.” Without even thinking Hotch with a note of desperation said, “No, please. I, I’d like to talk. 

Hotch couldn’t see it, but on the other end of the line, y/n moved to her couch and sat down, doing her best to be present with Aaron through the phone. She could tell that this was different. He was being real with her. This wasn’t, Agent Hotchner, leader of the most important team in the FBI, this was just Aaron. She took a moment to think of what to say. She knew what this was all about and decided to share honest thoughts and said, “Hotch, you’re a good father.” 

Hotch blinked surprisingly at y/n’s choice of words, and the honesty in them. Incredulously he replied, “On who’s authority?” There was a sigh on the other end of the line and he wanted to hear what y/n was going to say. Her response was, “I mean, I’m not a parent. Maybe it’s not my place to comment on parenting, but I see how you interact with Jack. When you’re with him you give him everything that’s in you. You don’t even notice that you’re doing it Hotch. And yeah, nobody’s perfect, not even you, but when you’re with him -- it’s all I can see. You’re doing the best with what you have, financially and emotionally and that’s all anyone can ask for. People like to say that you can give a hundred and ten, a hundred and twenty percent to people and relationships, but I just don’t think that’s possible with people. And in our line of work, it’s hard to give seventy percent to anything other than the job. But, Jack, Jack always gets a hundred percent from you.”

y/n realized that she was being highly personal with her words, to her boss. She stopped what might have been a rambling mess of words and bit the inside of her lip. Maybe she would get a real reprimand from Hotch for this. He had corrected her before in his stern authoritative manner, but he had never really been mad at her. She also tried hard not to think about the fact that she wanted to give him a hundred percent too. She knew she couldn’t have that. She could never have that. 

In the lingering silence between y/n’s comments, Aaron closed his eyes and tried to see it from her point of view. Was she really looking at him that closely so that she could catch all of these things? He knew she was speaking honestly, she really spoke from a place of untruth, and she did that only when she had to on cases. He wondered if people ever threw her honesty in her face. As someone so closed off, it was hard for him to believe her in a way. With a hint of hesitation, he asked, “Do you really think so?” A second later, y/n said, “Of course. Of course I do, Aaron.” He relaxed further in the bed as she used his first name again. It sounded so lovely coming from her. They spent another half hour talking, more about the case than his parenting, and when Aaron hung up, he felt decidedly lighter than he had when he had originally come here. 

The next Monday, when Aaron found a quiet moment in the office where the rest of the team wasn’t paying attention, he moved to y/n’s desk and she looked up at him with a smile. Aaron clenched his hand before releasing the final tension he felt in what he was about to do. He raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. That familiar warmth they both felt when they came into close contact seeped through both of them. All Aaron said was, “Thank you, y/n.” With that, he removed his hands and walked up to his office. He knew that his actions weren't profoundly romantic or anything. He hadn’t swooped down and kissed y/n and pulled her body close to his, but in his actions, he had opened the floodgates for what might come. 

It happened slowly, like most things in his life. Both because y/n and Aaron needed to be cautious for work's sake, but also because neither of them could really believe it was actually happening after so long. The first almost date had been when she got two tickets to see her favorite author do a reading with her best friend. Unfortunately y/b/f had to cancel two days before. y/n was really bummed about it and Aaron could tell. He had approached her and said, “Would you like me to come with you? I don’t really know anything about _y/f/a_, but I can tell that it’s important to you.”

Her eyes glistened at the idea and she said, “You’d do that?” Aaron let out a laugh and said, “Of course if you want me to.” y/n had beamed at him and for a moment he felt stunned at how beautiful she looked when she was this happy. He wished he could see her like this more. The reading was great, y/n had cried and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, letting her feel her emotions. They had gotten coffee after and as he walked y/n back to her apartment, she stopped at her door and turned. y/n went out on a limb and stepped closer to him. She was close enough to feel the heat emanate from his body. With a last moment of deliberation, she closed the gap and wrapped her arms around him, tucking her head into his chest. Aaron tensed for a moment before he let his body naturally respond. He gently wrapped his arms around his form and held her close to him. 

Oh God, it felt so good to have her that near to him, to be able to actually hold her. Surprisingly it had been Derek who had encouraged him to make the leap of making y/n a more permanent fixture in his life. The team had all been at Rossi’s for dinner and y/n and Emily were at the wine bar pouring themselves another glass of red. Aaron was unknowingly looking at y/n longingly and Derek sat down next to him with a shot in his hand. The younger man said, “Are you ever going to tell her how you feel?”

Aaron was pulled from his thoughts and looked over to Derek saying, “Sorry, what was that?” Derek chuckled and said, “Hotch, you deserve to be happy after everything you’ve been through.” At this Aaron made a face, but Morgan kept talking saying, “If you’re afraid that she’s not going to reciprocate your feelings, I see the way she looks at you. She likes you too.” Aaron let out a sigh and Derek put a hand on his shoulder saying, “Just think about it. A lot of people would be happy to have y/n, but she’d be happy to have you.” That evening as y/n dropped him off they had kissed for the first time outside in the parking lot. 

The light knock on his door pulled him from his memories, and he stood and neatened his trousers and shirt as he opened the door for y/n. He opened the door and let y/n in. She smiled at him handed him a wrapped bouquet of hyacinth and baby breath and said, “For you, Aaron.” He smiled and leaned down giving her a kiss. He had brought her y/f/f when she had first invited him to her apartment and she was returning the gesture. As he found a vase to put the flowers in, he offered her a chilled glass of water, and y/n moved around the space observing his neutral-toned apartment.

After he set the flowers on the table, he came up beside her and slipped his hand around her waist. He was looking at his wall full of pictures. They were mostly of Jack, but there were a few of him and Hailey and a few he had taken on an old camera that was still around the apartment somewhere. She turned to look at him and said, “Jack’s grown up so much since some of these were taken.” Aaron hummed in her ear and said, “It’s crazy to think about. He’s going to school and making friends. When I talk to him on the phone I can hear him becoming his own person.” y/n turned back to the photos and found one where Hailey was particularly radiant, and she commented, “She looks so…” There was a pause as beautiful seemed to fall flat as a superlative. y/n finished the sentence with, “luminant here.”

Hotch’s eyes moved from her to the picture and back to her. He deeply appreciated that y/n included Jack and even Hailey in her consideration of him and his life and happiness. Her comment made him look over y/n in her f/c turtle neck and back corduroy skirt and said, “You look lovely tonight, y/n.” The flush on her face always made him feel a certain way, and as she turned to look over the space again she said, “I like it, Aaron. It’s calming and I think almost anyone could feel safe here.” Hotch hadn’t particularly decorated the space with that in mind, but again he didn’t have the eye for fashion or design that y/n had. He simply said, “I’m glad you like it, and that you feel safe here.”

He took a breath and then asked, “You ready to head out, or do you want to sit for a bit?” y/n took his hand and replied, “Let’s head out, our reservations are in a half hour, and just because it’s Friday night and there might be traffic.” Hotch nodded and he moved to the counter and grabbed his coat and car keys. They headed out to the wine tasting at a jazz club that they both liked. 

The date went well and as they arrived back at Aaron’s place he got out of the car and opened the door for y/n. They were both slightly buzzed, but not inebriated or without their wits. As y/n got out of the car he asked, “Would you like to come back inside for a bit or do you want to get back to your place?” y/n smiled and said, “I’d like to be with you for a while longer?” They left the crisp autumn air behind as they reentered Aaron’s apartment.

He grabbed them both a glass of water and they sat on his couch y/n turned her head to him and he leaned down kissing him. His lips were so soft and warm on her mouth. The taste of him was a craving, a desire she couldn’t easily let go unless they were like this. Aaron could feel her love and longing in the way she moved her mouth over his. He wanted more, needed more of that feeling that he had been missing for the last few months. He slipped his tongue out of his mouth and over her bottom lip. y/n sighed, surprised by this new action from him, but opened up to his request.

Aaron moved into the space, moving his tongue over hers and the contours of her mouth. As he explored this new space, y/n let out a small moan into his mouth. She moved her right hand to his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze letting him know that she was enjoying this moment. Her hand on his leg, so close to his groin made his cock twitch and he felt embarrassed for a second because something as small as her hand on him had elicited a response. y/n felt Aaron’s body tense under her hand and could imagine what had happened with this body. When they broke apart for air, y/n shifted from his side and moved so her legs were straddling his on the couch. She didn’t put any weight on him, wanting to make sure he was comfortable with this.

Hotch’s eyes widened at the change of position and he sucked in a deep breath, his body already flushing. y/n placed her hands on the couch just above his shoulders. Her eyes glistened in the soft light of his lamps and she asked, “Is it too fast for you Aaron?” Hotch made a small sound, it was so quiet that it was almost unnoticeable in the space. He nodded his head no and replied, voice low, “No. It’s not. As long as you're comfortable with what we’re doing. We can take it at your pace. I want you, y/n.” At hearing his words and seeing the hunger in his eyes, she lowered her body until it was pressing close to him. 

Her skirt was short were fitted and as her knees spread to sit on him it shifted up to her waist. Aaron was a bit too preoccupied to notice this yet as kissing him again; first on the mouth and then his earlobe sucking and lightly nipping the soft flesh. He let out a groan that was louder than he was expecting. His body was really reacting to her touch. What had been a twitch in his pants was now throbbing against the waistband of his pants. y/n felt his erection growing under her. While she moved to his jawline and began half-open-mouth kisses and licking the area, she shifted her weight again and moved her hand to the buckle of his dark brown belt.

She fumbled with the metal as she continued her work on his face. She similarly undid the button and pulled down the zipper of his pants. Once his member was freer, y/n pressed against him providing him with some much-needed friction. Again made that low noise that made her core tingle and burn at the same time. At this, Aaron couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be touching her. Aaron shifted strongly but carefully picked y/n under the thighs and he moved so that they switched spots. Now that he was the one above her, he moved to pull at the edge of her shirt. y/n raised her arms for him and the fabric came easily over her head.

He leaned down and kissed her hungrily. His hands found traction on her waist and the warm feeling of them resting there made y/n make a small sound into his mouth. Aaron moved his mouth away from hers and placed a hand over her f/c lacy bra. Her breasts and nipples were visible to him through the semi-sheer fabric and lace and he marveled down at her form laid bare to him. He gently massaged the right breast in his hand and he felt her nipple harden under his touch. For the first time that night y/n whispered his name in a way that made Aaron feel more alive than he had in a long time. With his other hand, he took y/n’s left hand and slowly started kissing up the side of her arm. He looked over the litany of healed scars crisscrossing the warm skin under his mouth. 

He had noticed them the first day he had met her. Although they weren’t pronounced as they were old and healed, he still saw them. How couldn’t he see them running up her arm and under her three-quarter sleeves? He was a profiler after all. He never said anything about them. He’d never heard the team talk about them either. It would be rude to of course, and really it had been none of his business at the time. But not that he could see them so clearly running up her arm he had to wonder. He sucked on the hollow spot of her elbow joint, and y/n bucked slightly, moving her hand down to this clothed groin. He let out a gasp as her hand began moving over his hard penis. Her hand traced the line of his arousal and he had to hold back from bucking under her touch. He kept moving as her hand worked over him.

As he moved up her arm to her shoulder and collarbone, he moved his other hand to her left breast, massaging the tissue with his deft hand. With his other hand, he pushed down the strap of her bra and again started kissing her chest. Once more he kissed over her chest and noticed that the scars weren’t only endemic to her left arm. They were scattered haphazardly over her shoulder and collarbone. These marks had healed darker than the ones on her arm. He realized that if he paid close attention to his mouth, which he was, he could feel the difference between the smooth skin and that which had been opened many years ago. They were both making soft, needy noises and their movements grew more urgent. Aaron was now moving himself along her hand and y/n tipped her head back and said, “Aaron, please. I need more. I need you.”

Hotch nodded and again, he stopped his frantic body and hooked his arms under her legs, now picking her up and moving into the bedroom. She clung to him, arms wrapped around his neck. He set her gently on the bed and almost immediately pulled at her skirt. She rested the heels of her feet on the mattress and lifted her hips, so he could get rid of the fabric now bunched around her waist. Once the skirt was discarded, Aaron pushed her back onto the mattress. He also pulled off his shirt and discarded his pants in two fluid motions. y/n looked at the bulge in his briefs and smiled to herself. She knew he must be impressive, but being so close to seeing it in full confirmed her assumptions. Hotch leaned down and began sucking at the soft, flushed skin of her thigh. 

The fact that Hotch’s mouth was breathing hot and loud against her leg and that he was moving steadily toward her center, made her arch her back in pleasure and the feelings of warmth continued to move through her. As Aaron’s mouth got closer to her black underwear, he was faced with the presence of scars once more. There were less of them here on her thigh, close to her center, but these seemed deeper, more deliberate. He wanted to kiss these, to continue the path of pleasure he was on, but it felt wrong.

For him to be doing this without acknowledging something, to check in with her before he continued. y/n could feel his hesitation. She saw how he had paused each time he noticed a new area affected by her prior self. Her voice cut through his fog as she said, “I’m not embarrassed by them anymore you know. I used to be, but not now.” Hotch lifted his body and chest upright looking deeply into her eyes. He knew this was important to her, but also to him. For him to understand if she wanted to talk about it. He shifted and placed a hand on her thigh, just below her panty line, indicating that he wasn’t finished yet, just taking a break.

All he could think of saying was, “I’m sorry.” y/n scoffed at this, not at him but, more at the idea. She placed a hand on his cheek and said, “You know no one ever talks to me about them. Not even when they were red and bleeding did anyone say anything. I thought certainly my parents, or teachers, or friends would say something, but they didn’t because they didn’t know how.” y/n looked away and removed her hand from his face saying, “Sorry. I’m kind of being a buzzkill, aren’t I?” Aaron’s eyes deepened, and he took both her hands in his and said, “No, no it’s not to me. Please, you can talk to me if you want.” 

She looked back to his face and it was clear to her that his desire for her wasn’t ebbing with this conversation. He was still Aaron, the Aaron she had spent months with, but this was different and she knew it. y/n let out a breath and said, “I got so good at hiding them that when I stood naked in front of a mirror I would flinch at my own reflection.” Hotch nodded slightly and asked, “Did they hurt you a great deal?” y/n took her bottom lip in her mouth for a moment before replying, “Not really. At least not until the next day. I was just looking for a release you know? Something to distract me from what was happening.”

Aaron’s hand on her thigh gently started tracing over the scarred tissue with his thumb and he said, “Well I’m still sorry that you felt you needed to do that. Even if it was to protect you emotionally.” y/n gave him a small smile. She looked up at him with her large eyes, sincere in their clarity as she said, “You don’t have to apologize, Aaron. I’ve forgiven the younger version of me that made the choice to hurt herself. She was scared and angry and didn’t understand what was happening to her.” Aaron could ask about what exactly had been going on in her younger years. But he didn’t. He wanted her to be in control of this conversation, and a moment later, she said, “Plus, there are better ways to find release than when I was in high school.” 

Aaron flushed and felt his erection which had gone semi-soft twtich again. He reached out for her and said, “Are you sure? We can stop for tonight if you like.” y/n shook her head no and replied, “No, I want to keep going. I want to go all the way with you, Aaron.” Aaron nodded and pulled her close again, embracing her mouth with his. His right hand slipped behind y/n’s back and he deftly undid the clasp of her bra. He pulled far enough away to pull the intimate article off, and he said, “Just let me know if you need me to stop, alright. At any point, we can take a break.”

y/n hummed her agreement and threaded her hands through his short hair. Aaron moved his face lower and he breathed warmly over her right breast. The warm sensation over her sensitive skin caused her nipples to grow taught again. Aaron leaned in and took the tissue in his mouth. He swirled the nipple with his tongue and y/n let out a sound so desperate and beautiful that he grew rock hard again in an instant. He kneaded the other breast with his hand and his left hand slipped under the waistband of her panties. She was desperately wet as he moved his pointer and middle fingers over her folds and heat. After a moment of this, Aaron pulled his face from her chest, wanting to get more of those sounds from her mouth. He got her out of the last piece of her clothing and he looked over her bare sex for a moment before diving in with his mouth.

The taste of her on his lips was intoxicating, more intoxicating than the wine they had imbibed earlier that night. He moved over her wetness with an urgency. Again, y/n spoke his name with a need he didn’t know he needed to hear. She arched her back against his strong and accurate tongue. Hotch pressed her stomach back flush with the mattress and he reveled as her body twitched beneath his hand. As his tongue began entering her most intimate area, she moaned. She could feel herself coming close and wasn’t ready for the feeling to stop. She called his name and he stopped immediately, checking in with her. He looked up at her and his face and nose were wet with her excitement. “What is it, y/n. Do you want to stop?” He said it rather breathlessly as he had been very intent in his work. y/n replied, “Far from it, but I want to taste you too. I want you in my mouth.” 

Aaron stilled for a moment and said, “You're sure?” y/n smiled mischievously and said, “More than anything.” He felt a growl in his throat and he finally took off his briefs, freeing his cock. y/n looked him over for the first time, apparently impressed with him. He was slightly happy about this reaction, but the feeling of being pushed back and y/n taking his tip into her mouth instantly stilled that inner voice. ‘Oh fuck,’ he thought as she swirled her tongue over him in one direction for a bit, and then the other, and finally across the top. This sensation alone was enough to bring some pre-come to the tip. Aaron watched as she sucked it off quickly and then moved back onto him with her mouth. The very sight of her working over him nearly sent Aaron over the edge.

His size was impressive and y/n wondered if she would be able to take all of him in her mouth. She worked fervently over him, taking more and more of his length each time she moved her head up and down him. She ran her hands over his balls as she did this, and she could feel him throbbing in her throat. Meanwhile, Aaron’s body was twitching with bliss and anticipation, and he said her name like a prayer as she finally got to the base. She continued to work on him as she sucked and licked his cock. She ran her tongue all the way up the vein running on the underside of him and again, this nearly ended him. This time it was his turn to ask her to stop, which she did.

He knew that if he came now in her mouth he might not be able to do it again as intensely as the first time. Could he come again? With her, absolutely, but this was their first time and he wanted to give her his best. Breathlessly he said, “I need to be in you if you’re open to it. Please.” He realized that he was begging, but he couldn’t stop the urgency in his voice. 

y/n agreed, at this point their bodies were aching for release and she wanted him in her as badly as he wanted to be in her. She asked, “Can I be on top please?” With some vulnerability, she added, “It’s been a while since I’ve been intimate with anyone.” Hotch nodded, knowing the position would give her more control in regard to the depth and pacing. He said, “Of course. Whatever you want love.” He sat up a bit, leaning back on his palms. As _y/n_ got ready to straddle him again, he asked, “Are you on the pill, or should I get a condom?” He hadn’t made assumptions about her sexual life until recently, and asking something like this felt inappropriate unless in this very situation. y/n smiled and said, “I’m on the pill. We’re good."

With this, she got back on her knees with Aaron underneath her. She used her hand to gently guide him into her entrance. She worked slowly at first. Even with just his tip inside her, Aaron had to stop himself from lifting his hips to get further inside of her. However, he kept still and let, y/n slowly take more and more of him inside her. He encouraged her saying, “That’s it y/n, your doing well. You feel so good around me.” She smiled at him and after a few moments, she was mostly seated over him. She was incredibly tight, and he was impressed that she had taken his member in as deeply as she had. There was only a tiny bit of his cock exposed.

He felt her walls throb and tighten against him and he had to bite his mouth shut to stifle what he assumed was a scream of pleasure. She leaned down and took his mouth in hers, It was her turn to explore his mouth and he allowed her in easily. She was greedy with her tongue, and her breath was hot in his throat. After she pulled away for breath she assessed her comfort. Any pain that had been there when she was enveloping him had passed and she said needily, “You can move in me, Aaron. Please.” 

Aaron moaned again as he followed her command. He shifted his hips up and the feeling of his cock sliding inside her was pure bliss. It was all he had imagined and more. He started slowly, but both of them had waited and built up for the other and it was time to get their reward for their patience. Aaron built up his speed and the stream of half-contained noise that y/n made only had him quickening his pace more. As his thrusts became more urgent he felt a slight sheen of sweat covering them both. He was close, so close and he raced toward the finish. In a final desire to have him closer and deeper in her, y/n placed her full weight on his hips and leaned back, supporting herself on shaking, shuddering arms.

The final shift in position allowed him that last bit of room to fully enter her and she moaned out, “Faster Aaron. Please, I’m going to come.” At her words, Aaron placed his hands on her hips, guiding their shared movement. He thrusted even faster and only a few seconds later, y/n came undone. Her body shaked and clenched around him and that was all he needed to find his release. His seed shot out of him hot and fast and he kept thrusting a few times more chasing the high, heady organism she was giving him. They both made ungodly noises as they let go and y/n quite literally collapsed on top of him.

He held onto her closely as their shaky breaths intermixed. As Aaron regained his breath, the words came unbidden and he said, “I love you y/n. Oh god, I’ve loved you for so long. I’m sorry it took me this long to say something.” y/n was still shaking with her orgasm, but she managed to strangle out, “I love you too, Aaron. A hundred percent.” Aaron registered her words from a few months ago and he realized that she had been longing for him for that long and that he was a fool for not noticing before. 

Aaron was tired, but y/n was completely spent and he was still in her softening from his heightened state. With gentle strength, he grabbed her hips and lifted her off of his body. She made a small protestation at the loss of contact. However, he didn’t have any plans of letting her go soon. He pulled her to his chest and she settled contentedly next to him, her damp skin sticking to his. He was beginning to connect her comments about her scars to his own father's abuse. However, he didn’t have the head space for that rabbit hole right now. But he did say softly, “Do you think it’s fate that we met, y/n?”

She chuckled into his chest and replied, “That’s too cliched coming from you Aaron.” He hummed and said, “Maybe, but am I wrong?” The question hung in the air for a minute before y/n said, “Maybe not. All I know is that life can be terrible. God knows we see the worst of it, but at least you're in mine.” At this, y/n settled closer to him; listening to his heartbeat consistently thumping in his chest. Aaron held her a bit closer. He would get up eventually to get her some towels to clean her up, but for now, having her in his arms was all he ever wanted. 

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the great war | part v | Joel miller x f!reader

" We can plant a memory garden, say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair, there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go, and we will never go back, to that bloodshed, crimson clover, the worst was over, my hand was the one you reached for

all throughout the Great War"

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 6 | masterlist

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 4,3k>

series summary: After things fell apart it seemed that Joel and you were falling into pieces.

series warning: angst, fluff, established relationship, age gap (Reader is in her late 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), child loss, anger, some tension.

A/n: I remind you that English is not my first language so please forgive any mistake. No, proofread, sorry. Also, there will be one more part of this.

The dawn of the following day was greeted with a sense of subdued eagerness as sunshine peaked through the curtains to herald a fresh start. Rhia awakened in her sleep as she gradually felt the warmth next to her. When she opened her eyes, Joel was still soundly dozing off, his features relaxed. She gave him a brief look, her lips curving into a sweet grin at the sight.

The weight of her unresolved feelings though, as well as the events from the previous night, came pouring back as consciousness fully engulfed her. Her grin vanished and was replaced with a slight furrow in her brow. She wanted to hope for the possibility of their rekindled relationship, but she was far from letting her guard down. At least for now.

As Joel stirred awake, his eyes blinked open as he looked at her. "Morning," he murmured, his voice husky with sleep.

"Morning," she replied, offering him a timid smile.

He stretched lazily; his movements unhurried as he propped himself up on his elbows. "Sleep well?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for any sign of discomfort.

She nodded, a hint of warmth in her gaze. "Yeah, you?"

He grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. "Yes” 

Instead of the tension that had previously characterized their conversations, the chilly morning air was filled with a calming stillness. Rhia stood there, her mind a jumbled mixture of doubt and thought. She found herself juggling many emotions at once, not knowing where any of them would take her.

“Your leg” she said, to avoid talking about the events from last night.

Joel moved his attention to her as he stirred slightly and his eyelids fluttered open. His hand immediately moved to his leg as he raised his arms above his head and grimaced slightly. The corner of his mouth twitched into a slight smile as he said, "It's a little sore, but nothing I can't handle."

Rhia nodded, her eyes softly showing sympathy as she examined the wound. She leaned over and softly murmured, "Let me take a look," examining the bandage on his leg.

As Rhia’s fingers moved gently over Joel’s bandaged wound, her nose crinkled. Joel glared at her, his eyes never leaving her. 

As Rhia looked at the wound, she nodded and softly expressed pity with her eyes. She gently examined the bandage on Joel's leg as she bent down and said, "Let me take a look," before lowering her voice.

Rhia's brows wrinkled as she carefully ran her fingertips over the bandaged area. Her attitude soon changed to one of relief. She added with a tinge of satisfaction, "It seems like the wound is healing properly.” 

Joel's tension seemed to ease as he heard her words. His eyes, which had been fixed on her during her inspection, softened.

“You know scars tell stories,” She pondered, a flicker of a smile gracing her lips” Like writing a page in the journal of your own life”, she added. 

Joel held her gaze and listened to the words sink in. "Yes," he said quietly, "I have my stories."

"I do to," Rhia said, her fingers slipping off his leg and she relaxed a bit. "And each one of them has made you what you are today."

A subtle shift passed over Rhia’s expression. The scars they carried, both physical and emotional, seemed to be an invisible string connecting them both on a deeper level. A difficult journey of resilience. 

Her gaze drifted to the scar on Joel’s temple, a mangled scar that told a tale of its own. “What about his one?” she began as she gently placed her hands over the side of his face. “I don’t remember hearing how you got it.” 

A subtle tension rippled through Joel’s frame as her question remained there. The previous atmosphere seemed to shift, replaced by a fleeting sense of discomfort. She immediately picked up on his reaction, her perceptive nature in harmony with the change in his demeanor. 

Her stare softened. “Hey,” she said, her voice carrying a soothing sound. “You don’t have to tell me”

Joel’s eyes fixed on hers, a mixture of gratitude and reluctance in his eyes, “I want to share,” he began, his voice brittle, hinting at the depth of his emotions. “It’s just…that scar holds a memory that’s not easy to revisit” 

Rhia nodded with an expression of understanding. She reached out, her fingers lightly brushing his arm in a gesture of comfort. “It’s okay.”

As the moments passed, a contemplative silence settled between them. Eventually, Joel cleared his throat, his voice gentle but resolute. "Do you want to talk about what happened between us last night?" he inquired, his question cutting through the quiet.

Rhia's response was immediate, her posture tensing as if caught off guard. Abruptly, she rose from her seat beside Joel on the couch. “It shouldn’t have happened” Rhia blurted, her voice carrying frustration and regret. 

Joel’s heart was knocked sideways by Rhia’s response. A surge of disappointment mingled with confusion and sadness. His desperate gaze met Rhia’s, searching for any hint of understanding. 

“You regret it?” he asked, the words escaping his lips with a touch of bitterness.

Rhia’s expression wavered for a moment, conflict dancing in her eyes. She looked away, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her jacket. “No, it’s…We’ve been through a lot, and last night felt like a moment of weakness.”

Joel’s brows furrowed as he absorbed her words, his own emotions a swirl of disappointment and hurt. “You used me then” he spat; his tone tinged with disbelief.

Rhia’s gaze remained adverted, her finger continuing to fidget with the fabric of her jacket as Joel’s words hung heavily in the air. His accusation conflicted with her emotions. 

“No, Joel, it’s not like that,” she replied. She turned to face him, her gaze pleading for him to understand. “I didn’t use you. I just… with everything we said last night, we found some solace”

Joel’s expression remained a mix of disbelief and bitterness, his own guard now resurfacing. “So what? You just wanted to have sex and you used me?” his voice was laced with a tint of anger and hurt. 

Rhia’s eyes flickered with frustration at Joel’s words, her own emotions churning as she struggled to convey her feelings in the middle of all this tension hanging in the air. She took a deep breath, her fingers pausing in their nervous fidgeting. 

“That’s not what I said, Joel” she retorted, her voice lingering with exasperation. “We have a story and…Look, I don’t regret what happened. But we can’t ignore what happened between us” 

Joel’s guard showed no sign of relenting, he was conflicted. The room transformed from a place of warmth and shared love into an arena of conflict and unsolved issues. Rhia’s heart felt as heavy as Joel’s anger, as if for the first time she was feeling what Joel was feeling. 

“Joel?” Rhia took a step closer, closing the distance between them

Their eyes met, and the intensity of the love they shared in the air. Joel’s bitterness was still present in his eyes. As soon as Rhia reached out, to touch his arm, as a gesture of connection. He stood up abruptly from the couch, his expression displaying a mixture of anger and disappointment that mirrored the chill that now seemed to envelop the space around them. 

“We should go back to Jackson” his voice, laced with anger and disappointment. 

Rhia’s gaze held his, crestfallen at his decision. “Yes, you’re right. But your leg, it needs- “

“I can take care of myself, Rhia” he hissed, his frustration tinged with a lace of regret for letting his emotions get the better of him. He turned away for a moment as if trying to gather his thoughts.  

“Joel,” she said softly, her voice almost a plea, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joel’s body tensed, his back still turned to her. “Right now,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of resignation, “we need to focus on getting back to Jackson.” 

Rhia nodded, even though he couldn´t see her. Joel knew her defeating silence was an affirmative answer. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice laced with sadness. 

As Joel started to walk, a sharp pain ran through all his leg, causing him to stumble slightly. He gritted his teeth, his hand instinctively reaching out to steady himself against a near surface. His jaw clenched, the physical pain almost a reflection of the emotional turmoil he had become. 

Rhia’s eyes widened with concern. She took a hesitant step forward, her voice soft and laced with empathy. “Joel, your leg- “ 

He cut her off, his voice carrying irritation and pain. “I said I can take care of it.” 

Her concern was genuine, and she hesitated before talking again, her voice brittle. “Joel, I get your pride, but if you keep ignoring this, it’s only going to get worse.”

He didn’t respond, his jaw clenched as he continued to walk, his steps now more labored. His stubbornness was palpable, as if he was determined to push through the pain on his own terms.

Rhia moved alongside him. “Joel, please,” she urged. “Let me help you.”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his expression a mixture of resistance and vulnerability in front of the woman he loved. The silence was heavy for carrying their unspoken words and emotions. 

He let out a sigh, his stubbornness giving way to the reality of the situation. “Fine” he relented, he almost sounded angry. “Help me”

As Rhia moved to his side, offering support for him to lean on, the walls of pride and hurt seemed to crumble for a moment, replaced by an acceptance of each other’s presence and assistance. Joel’s footsteps were now steadier, supported by Rhia’s presence beside him. 

Their journey back to Jackson was also a symbolic journey of healing and growth. The road they walked together mirrored the complexities of their emotions, each step a reminder of their experiences. 

Joel’s jaw remained clenched; his gaze focused ahead as he moved forward with Rhia’s support. The pain in his leg was persistent, but he didn’t want to admit his vulnerability, especially not to Rhia, but her presence was always capable of breaking through his defenses. 

Rhia’s eyes remained on him, determination in her gaze. Her own steps matched his, her presence being both physical and emotional support. As they continued walking, the landscape around them began to change. 

“We are not arriving in Jackson today; we should take a break,” she advised. “Camp for the night.”

Joel's face tightened for an instant, then relaxed as he realized she was right. He nodded and allowed her to lead him to a fallen log so they could sit down. He slowly relaxed, his leg still protesting, and Rhia joined him. 

As they both took a deep breath, Rhia reached into her pouch for a water bottle. She handed it to him and said, "Here, drink this. It's good for your health." He took a few sips and then handed the bottle back to Rhia. 

They sat in silence for a while, each of them lost in his own thoughts but still connected by the experience of this journey they were sharing. The tension that had been there for a long time was still lingering in the air.

The next morning greeted Rhia with a gentle sunrise, casting a warm and golden hue over the landscape. The night had been restful, at least for Joel, and the sense of renewal in the air was palpable. As Joel stirred from their slumber, he exchanged a silent glance with Rhia, an unspoken affirmation to continue their journey back home. 

Joel still felt a slightly sharp pain in his leg from the wound, but it was accompanied by a newfound sense of determination. He looked at Rhia, who was gathering her belongings, her movements graceful and purposeful.

"We should get moving," she said, her voice carrying a hint of doubt. She didn’t know if Joel was still mad at him for the events of the past day. 

Joel nodded, slowly getting to his feet with a bit of effort. Rhia rushed to his side to offer her support. With a sense of doubt, Joel leaned on her in order to keep walking. 

As they resumed their journey, their steps were synchronized, in a silent walk. The landscape continued to shift around them. The trees thinned out, and the signs became more apparent as the outskirts of Jackson were drawing closer, a visible reminder of their journey together was ending. 

“I don’t know how to tell Tommy we lost the horses” Rhia finally spoke after a long time, her voice sounded so soft, Joel almost melted. 

Joel’s gaze flickered toward her. “He is gonna blame me” he replied, his tone a mixture of resignation and amusement. 

Rhia chuckled softly, the sound of a gentle melody in the air. “He will be happy to see you.”

As the outskirts of Jackson came into view, their steps quickened, a mixture of relief and anticipation encouraged them forward. The familiar structures of the community stood as a testament to their resilience. 

Joel’s grip on Rhia’s arm tightened slightly. Rhia glanced at him, a soft smile gracing her lips. Nevertheless, as they passed through the gates of Jackson, Joel let go of Rhia's arm as if the contact burned. Rhia's expression turned crestfallen, her concern evident, but before she could voice her thoughts, they were immediately met with familiar faces and warm smiles. Ellie was there, her relief evident as she rushed to Rhia and Joel, enveloping them both in a tight hug.

Ellie’s relief was palpable as she held onto Rhia and Joel, her embrace was home. Her arms tightened around Rhia as if she couldn’t quite believe they were truly back, alive and standing there in front of him. 

“Rhia, Joel,” Ellie said, her voice muffled as she buried her face in Rhia’s shoulder “I was so scared…”

Rhia’s heart ached at Ellie’s words, understanding the weight of the worry that the young girl had carried in their absence. She exchanged a glance with Joel, and they shared a silent understanding of the impact they had on her. 

“We are here now, Ellie”, Rhia gently, her voice a soothing balm. “Not going anywhere soon”

Joel’s hand rested on Ellie’s back, a comforting gesture. “It was my fault. I hurt my leg”, he admitted.

Ellie finally pulled back from the hug, her eyes scanning Joel’s leg with concern. “You, okay?” she asked.

Joel offered her a half-smile, his rough exterior softened at the teen's presence. “Just a scratch.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes playfully. “You and your scratch” she quipped, her tone a mixture of affection and exasperation. “Let’s go get you to Maria. She’ll fix you up”

Joel nodded as he exchanged a hard glance with Rhia. 

As they walked, Rhia’s hand brushed against Joel’s for a moment, a silent reassurance passing between them, but as soon as she did that, Joel halted abruptly, allowing Ellie to take the lead, creating a buffer between them, shielding their private conversation from her ears. His voice took a different tone, a mixture of undertone and firmness. “You can go and rest, Rhia,” he said, his words carrying an edge that spoke of unresolved tensions.

“I can go with you guys” she whispered. 

“I would rather not, Rhia. I really don’t want to be close to you right now”, Joel’s direct words, a clear indication of the lingering hurt and frustration that still remained. 

The moment hung in the air, heavy with the unspoken emotions that they both carried. Rhia’s heart sank, but she nodded with a quiet acceptance, sadness and shame dancing in her eyes. 

“Okay,” she replied, in a voice almost inaudible, “I understand”.

Joel nodded, his gaze lingering on Rhia for a moment longer before he turned away to follow Ellie.

Night fell over Jackson, casting a tranquil darkness that wrapped around the community like a comforting blanket. The sounds of the day slowly faded, replaced by the gentle rustling of leaves in the cool breeze. Rhia found herself sitting on the steps of a wooden porch, gazing out into the night, lost in thought.

As if on cue, the sound of footsteps approached. Rhia didn't need to turn to know who it was. Ellie cleared her throat and spoke up. "So... what happened between you two out there?" her eyes searching for answers.

Rhia’s gaze flickered toward Ellie, his expression a mix of hesitation and guardedness. "It's... complicated," she replied, her tone revealing that she was carefully choosing her words.

Ellie’s eyes flicked. Confusion in her expression. “Disagreements about what?” Ellie prodded; she was determined on finding out the truth. “Did you? Oh my god! You had sex out there?” Ellie’s voice rose with playful teasing.

Rhia’s eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing slightly. “What? How? Ellie, it’s not like that!

Ellie's expression was a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Her grin widened. “I bet his leg broke in the act.” 

Rhia rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Ellie's playful joke had a way of easing the tension. "Ellie, it's not what you're thinking. We were just trying to sort things out."

“What’s weird about it? You’re a couple” she said. Her tone was matter-of-fact. “Well, even if it’s complicated now,” she added. 

Rhia hesitated for a moment. “He thinks I regret it”

Ellie’s expression turned thoughtful; her gaze focused as she processed Rhia’s words “You do?”

“No” Rhia confessed.  Rhia took a deep breath before answering honestly "I don't regret it."

Ellie's features softened, her eyes reflecting empathy. "Then what's the problem?"

Rhia’s gaze drifted. “I love him so much, Ellie. I’m so scared of losing him”, a mix of vulnerability and sadness in her gaze. 

Ellie's expression showed understanding beyond her years. She nodded slowly. "You're scared of the past repeating, aren't you?"

Rhia's breath caught at Ellie's words "Yes," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Tears welled in Rhia's eyes; her vulnerability laid bare in front of Ellie. "I just want us to heal, to move forward together."

Ellie's hand reached out, gently squeezing Rhia's. "You will, you'll get there."

An hour later, as the moon hung high in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the community, Rhia found herself wandering through the familiar streets of Jackson. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions, and she had made up her mind, she was going to talk to Joel. 

As she strolled along a dimly lit path, lost in her thoughts, on her way to Tommy’s house, where Joel was staying at. She unexpectedly spotted a familiar figure. It was Joel, standing in a quiet corner. He was talking to Lucy. A pang of unease tugged at Rhia's heart. She watched from a distance, her gaze fixed on Joel and Lucy's interaction. Rhia's thoughts raced, her mind conjuring up scenarios that ranged from innocent conversation to something more. Her insecurities resurfaced once again. She knew she shouldn't jump to conclusions, but her emotions were a tempest she struggled to contain. 

She turned away, tears stinging her eyes as she walked through the night knowing that Joel and her might never be together again.

After midnight, when the world had grown even quieter and the community of Jackson lay shrouded in the darkness of night, Joel found himself standing outside his and Rhia's house. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow that painted the room in a gentle, ethereal light.

His earlier conversation with Lucy still echoed in his mind, a reminder of the complexities that had surfaced between him and Rhia. 

He took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "Lucy, I want to be honest with you. You're a great person, and I enjoy spending time with you. But I need you to understand that my heart belongs to Rhia.”

Lucy's expression shifted from hopeful to disappointed, her shoulders slumping slightly. 

Joel nodded, a mixture of relief and regret washing over him. "Things between us are complicated, but that doesn’t mean I stop loving her and I'm trying to make things right between us." 

Lucy smiled. A bittersweet expression on her face. "Thank you for being honest with me, Joel. I appreciate that."

Joel offered her a genuine smile, relieved that the conversation had gone as well as it could have. But he knew there was something else he needed to address, something more direct and crucial to the situation. "Lucy, there's one more thing I need to make clear."

Lucy's brow furrowed inquisitively. "What is it?"

“I’m sorry for making you believe we had something” Joel's expression turned serious, his eyes meeting hers with a determined intensity. “I thought…. I think I confused some things, but after spending more time reflecting on it, I know where my heart truly lies”, he confessed, “I need you to stay away from both me and Rhia.” 

 Lucy's gaze fell, her features displayed disappointment. "Joel, I thought—"

Joel interrupted her gently but firmly. "I know what you thought. But I need you to respect my boundaries. I won’t hurt Rhia again.”

Lucy nodded slowly, her gaze shifting to the ground. "I understand, Joel.” Lucy met his eyes again. “I’m sorry for how I treated her.”

"Thank you, Lucy," Joel replied, his gratitude sincere. 

Taking a deep breath, Joel knocked softly on the door, the sound muffled by the quiet of the night. He waited, his heart pounding in his chest, uncertain of what he was going to say. A moment later, the door creaked open, revealing Rhia's breathtaking silhouette against the backdrop of her softly lit room. 

"Joel," her voice laced with surprise. 

He cleared his throat. "Can I come in?"

Rhia hesitated for a moment before stepping aside, allowing him entry. The room felt warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the chilly night outside. Joel followed her inside, the door closing behind him.

“I saw you earlier, with lucy” she said. 

Joel sighed softly, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words. "Yeah, we talked."

Rhia folded her arms, her expression guarded. "What did you talk about?"

Joel took a deep breath, meeting her gaze with a mixture of regret and earnestness. "I wanted to make sure she understood where things stood between us. And I made it clear that I have no intentions beyond friendship with her."

Rhia's gaze softened, but her guard remained. 

There was a heavy silence suffocating both of them. Took a step closer, his eyes searching hers as he continued. "Rhia, I need you to know that you're the one I care about. You're the one I want to be with."

Rhia's expression shifted, a mixture of vulnerability and hope flickering in her eyes. "Joel”

“I’m tired of this, of all the misunderstanding, all the fighting, and I want to know what you want” he pleaded “If you tell me to go away, I will, not because I don’t love you, but because it is what you want.” 

The silence made the tension between them grow. Joel's heart raced; the uncertainty of the moment almost suffocating. He took another step closer, closing the gap between them, his eyes never leaving hers.

Tears glistened in Rhia's eyes as she finally spoke, her voice almost a whisper "Joel, it's not that I want you to go away. I’m scared of getting hurt again”  

Joel's heart ached at her words, and he reached out, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "When all this started and I lost my Sarah, my life stopped. There was no reason for me to live anymore” he paused, taking a deep breath in order to gain strength “And I tried-I tried to end the pain".

Rhia's breath caught at the confession “The scar”

“Yes,” he confessed, ashamed.  “I failed, though.”

She reached up, her fingers gently tracing the outline of the scar. Her touch was soft, her expression full of tenderness. "Joel," she said softly, her voice carrying a soothing tone.

His gaze locked onto hers, a mixture of emotions swimming in his eyes. At this moment, he wasn't the strong man everyone knew; he was just Joel, baring his soul to his person. "Then when I met you," his words were a whisper, carrying the weight of his emotions, "it was as if Sarah sent you to me, a gift from a world that owed me nothing."

Rhia's heart swelled at his words. The tenderness in his voice was a balm to the wounds they had both carried. She let her hand linger against his scar, her touch an unspoken promise of understanding and acceptance.

Without a word, they leaned in, their lips meeting in a tender kiss. It was a kiss filled with tenderness, a silent commitment to each other. In this action, they found reassurance.

When their lips met, they lingered close together, foreheads touching. Rhia opened her eyes, and Joel looked at her with a mix of love and embarrassment. The weight of their past was lifted, replaced by the promise of their future.

"Goodnight, Joel," Rhia whispered, her voice carrying a soft tone.

"Goodnight, my angel” he replied, his tone mirroring Rhia’s tone. He pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling back slightly, his fingers tracing along her cheeks to memorize every curve of her beautiful face.

They lingered in each other's presence for a moment longer, their unspoken feelings hanging in the air like a sweet melody for the first time in weeks. Then, with a final shared smile, turned and walked towards the stairs, while Joel made his way to the door.

The door closed softly behind him, and Rhia was left with the racing memories of their moments. With a smile on her lips, she stepped into her bedroom, knowing that whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.

A/N: Hello there, I hope you liked it. I wanted to make Rhia happy :c Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you like, reblog, comment o ask me any question you want! And now, part 6 is probably the last part because I don't have more ideas for this haha. Hugs to you all.

taglist:

@joeldjarin @ranahx

[devouringbodies]

Hi there! Love your blog, love your tag system, and was wondering if you could share a bit about #mylimacore and your version of Mischa? I'm so intrigued! (Sorry, of course, if this has already been asked and I simply missed the post. Oops) 🦌

I was so excited to get an ask like this you have no idea. Please if anyone has questions about my tags or actually bothers to look through them ever please tell me cause I could talk about them all day haha. So thank you! I'm sorry in advance for the incoming essay 😂.

cw: cannibalism(obvs), familial abuse and incest

So the vague concept of my AU Mischa has all practically been built off this post originally, some aesthetics and ideas I've brewed on since then, as well as an Amazing conversation I had with @mortuaryboyfriend

A few key things to keep in mind to justify my thought process:

i. How would Mischa, if she lived, go on to process her trauma that she shares with Hannibal?

ii. "No one who survives Hannibal remains morally pure" - thank you to Peter for this statement it has lived in my head rent free since 🖤

Mischa has no characterization, in the novel, nor the film Hannibal rising, she is a faceless, blonde little plot devise that drives Hannibal's motives, but she also, in every sense of the word, haunts Hannibal's entire narrative. So she is basically a blank slate as far as characterization goes, but that's where the fun can happen, as we only have Hannibal to compare to, and the theories on how the experience they share would impact them if they had each other to lean on.

Hannibal has said that he "forgave" Mischa her influence on him. What "influence"? Well, in the novel, Mischa is the only thing Hannibal ever loves, he knew he was different since he was young and she was the first thing to make him feel literally anything. Bedelia in the show references the association Hannibal has with love, comparing both Will and Mischa, how it's an influence and its connotation is it makes him feel betrayed by himself, as if these feelings are a burden. So I imagine Mischa and Hannibal growing up together, with Hannibal having this ever growing resentment, but simultaneous unconditional love for Mischa. On the flip side, I imagine Mischa, a child praised and adored and perceived perfect in every way, who would grow and eventually sense her brother's torment. I see them forming an extremely codependent relationship in the wake of their trauma, and Mischa, so desperate to keep her brother, would quite possibly forgive him all his trespasses, actions, and love him for his inner monster all the more, cause he's hers, he protected her.

It's in this vein that we grow her character from here. I see her ultimately as morally grey/teetering towards evil. I'm unsure if she would ever have Hannibal's appetite, but she would love and support him regardless, I see her as being bemused by his games, but viciously protective and vengeful over him. Hannibal loves to play his games with everyone, and she would go along of course, but I think she would have difficulty with restraint if anyone got too close, and would lash out and murder without hesitation if Hannibal was threatened. Hannibal often says she's "ruining his fun". But there's a degree of spoiledness she can't help, she's his doting little sister after all.

It's also in this vein of fierce protectiveness of each other combined with their trauma-born codependency that I truly think they would spiral into something incestuous eventually. They would never, ever let another person get close to the other, and they would fulfill all of each other's needs I think. They both would be capable of living without romance or sex for their entire lives I'm sure, specifically and especially Hannibal, but I can't see them having that moral boundary personally, so for them I imagine it would just be an inevitable step.

Now diving into some of my own personal headcanon's for Mischa.

I think she would share Hannibal's love for the arts, though she would grow bored of the historic gab about it Hannibal favors quickly. I think she'd be more physical. I see her as a dancer, particularly Ballet, or into high theater arts, Shakespeare and classical tragedies.

I see her as this almost dual pointed sword of a character. She is so perfectly revered as a child forever in canon-Hannibal's mind, so I love the idea of this juxtaposition of her as this pure, innocent beauty, who often in reality is sensuous, cruel and violent. Hence my swan/black swan motifs. She lives in this spectrum of perceived innocence, but has brambles and thorns bubbling up inside her.

I made this post and decided that swans was my own personal visual motif for her, as black swans are mentioned on the Lecter estate and brought up a couple times throughout the book Hannibal Rising. The way that white swans represent innocence and purity vs the temptation and depravity of the black swan. It seemed fitting.

Also.

When thinking about Mischa in-canon narratively, as I mentioned, she seemed to haunt Hannibal's story. So when I stumbled across the concept of "black swan theory" - a metaphor that means "something that isn't supposed to exist, an impossibility," when applying that to my AU, where Mischa, who's character is a ghost in every sense, but made real against the odds, changing both everything and nothing, it felt extraordinarily apt.

Speaking of, as far as "how she survives" to quote Hannibal, I'm vague on those details lmao. BUT I know it involves cannibalism because it has to. It always has to. Whether some miracle sickness or woe befalls the brutal men who hold them captive and the children must eat them, or they get dispatched some other way and Hannibal has to start cutting his fingers off for Mischa and him to gnaw on (he starts with that extra one of course 😂) I know that it still involves cannibalism in some way.

So that's basically it! Again she's still mostly kinda just this vague blob idea in my head that has very specific Vibes. But hopefully this explains it a bit better. So sorry that this is way more than you asked for, but I get carried away lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for the wonderful ask though! Have a great day 🖤

Also here are a few mood pieces from my Mischa Pinterest board too, just for funsies. Cause this post isn't long enough already, obviously.

Also linking my other previous posts that mention her cause tumblr has apparently ate my Mischa lecter tag </3

[august-anon]

Preening

For Tickletober Day 27 - Non-Human Parts

Okay so i barely edited this but i wanted to get it out on time so here it is lol. I finished this one way back in the beginning of September before I finished the first DCAU Justice League cartoon, and i have not yet started Justice League Unlimited, so please forgive my characterization if it seems Off lol

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Fandom: Justice League (2001) (aka DCAU verse)

Ship(s): Gen!!! Platonic besties Flash and Hawkgirl (their friendship is so important to me)

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Shayera (Hawkgirl) & Ler!Wally (Flash)

Word Count: 1381 words

Summary: Shayera's wings got a bit messed up in their most recent mission. Flash offers to help her preen.

[ao3 link]

----------------

The Watchtower was always busiest after a mission, between all the lengthy debriefs and medical attention, but that only made the silence after all the more haunting. The rest of her teammates had made their way back to Earth, licking at their wounds, while the ones who hadn’t been on the mission stopped arguing about who was on monitor duty ages ago. Now it was only Shayera and the cold metal walls of the infirmary.

She’d taken more than her fair share of hits on the mission, being tossed around by the supervillain of the week like she was nothing more than a ragdoll. Her pride could take the hit, but her body didn’t quite agree. By the time J��onn was done patching her up. Shayera had one ankle in a brace, one arm in a sling, a couple dozen stitches, and she was absolutely covered in bandages. Maybe it was time to look into updating her costume, perhaps something a bit more protective.

The worst of it, though, had to be her wings. They were in absolute disarray, scraggly and itchy and uncomfortable. A few feathers had even snapped from the impact of her getting tossed around, though thankfully they were mainly older feathers that were preparing to molt anyway. Still it was hard enough to preen by herself on a good day. With the exhaustion of battle tugging at her bones and one arm trapped in a sling, this was going to take her hours.

Shayera settled into one of the medbay cots, creating a little nest of sheets from the handful of cots to help fight off the ever-present chill of space. She brought one wing around in front of her, starting to tug out broken feathers and readjust any that she could. After twenty minutes her patience had started running thin and she had hardly even made a dent in her primaries.

She startled when the infirmary door slid open, almost tearing out a feather she had merely been trying to straighten. She shot a glare over her shoulder, catching a flash of bright red and only scowling harder.

“Yo, Hawkgirl! You okay? You didn’t head home with the others, thought I might check up on you. Brought you a cappuccino.”

Shayera sighed, turning back to the wing in front of her. “I’m really not in the mood, Flash. What are you even still doing here?”

Flash groaned and leaned against the wall. “I got saddled with monitor duty, since Superman has a crisis in Metropolis and I’m the only other one who wasn’t on the mission.”

“How unfortunate,” Shayera said flatly.

“I know, right? It’s the most boring job there is– hey, are you alright?”

Shayera quickly dropped the grimace that had risen to her face. Tugging out old feathers was never comfortable, but it was best to get it done quickly so new ones could take their place.

“I’m fine. Don’t you have somewhere you should be?”

The room went quiet for a moment, and if it wasn’t for the faint reflection of Flash in the giant window across from her, she would’ve thought he’d finally left her alone. She went back to combing through her feathers with her free hand, doing her best to straighten the barbs and hoping the hooklets would catch again without too much attention from her.

“That’s a lot of wingspan you got there for just one hand.”

She shot another glare over her shoulder. “Do you even know how to preen?” 

Flash frowned and opened his mouth, as if to argue, but quickly shut it again.

“No? Then leave me alone.”

“I’m just saying, I might not know how feathers work, but that looks pretty painful from here. I can help if you want, it’s really no problem.”

Shayera sighed and looked over the pitiful progress she had made. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have an extra pair of hands, especially since she was down one. At this rate, it’d take her hours to finish just one wing.

“Fine– but just this once!”

There was a rush of wind and suddenly, Flash was hovering over her shoulder, staring down at her hands where they combed through the feathers. “How do I help?”

“Any broken ones, grab firmly at the base of the quill and tug–”

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

“A little, but it’ll hurt more if they stay in and I try to fly around. Just pull them out as best as you can. The rest, just try to smooth and straighten them out.”

Flash saluted her, then settled down behind her at the edge of her nest. She stretched out her opposite wing for him to work on, before refocusing on her own task. For once, Flash didn’t seem to feel the need to fill the silence between them, focused on his task as he was. She couldn’t help but wince every time he pulled a feather out, and she could hear him hiss in sympathy each time, but it was better than the discomfort of them being left alone.

The problems didn’t arise until several minutes later, when Flash buried his fingers into her feathers and ruffled them about, trying to smooth them out and shake any old feathers loose. Shayera gasped and straightened, her wing flinching out of his hands. Flash gaped for a moment, his hands still hovering in midair, before his expression crumpled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you–”

“It’s fine.”

“But–”

“Flash, it’s fine. It didn’t hurt.” She moved her wing back into range. “Wings are just a bit sensitive, is all.”

He gave her a salacious grin. “You mean–”

“No. You think you’d be allowed anywhere near them if they were?”

Flash pouted. “Yeah, I guess.” He titled his head. “Sensitive how though?”

“Just– sensitive. Drop it, Flash.” She turned back to her own wing, trying to signal that the conversation was over.

Flash, of course, was never one to take a hint. His hands were ruffling through her feathers again almost immediately, sending tingly-tickling vibrations through the quills and under her skin. She shivered and tried to squirm away, forcing down the smile that tried to sneak onto her face. For a brief moment, she wished her headpiece covered her whole face instead of just the top half.

“Come on, if it doesn’t hurt and it’s not like that, then what’s it feel like?” He leaned forward over her shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of her face. “Hawkgirl?”

“Cut– cut it out, Flash!” 

Shayera never should’ve opened her mouth. It was just an invitation for a chuckle to sneak out at the end of her sentence, and Flash’s face lit up like he’d won the lottery.

“No way – Hawkgirl’s ticklish?”

“Flash, come on!”

Unfortunately, now that Flash had spotted a chink in her armor, he was in no hurry to let it go. He reached out toward her other wing, stroking through both at once, burying his hands in the feathers at the tops of her wings to scratch at the skin hidden underneath. She doubled over her own legs, bringing her nest of sheets up to her face to bury her laugh into. Her wings flapped as the tickling feeling got worse, and she tried her best to muffle a squeal into the thin fabric.

“Superspeed is cheating!” She shouted at him.

He laughed at her. “I like to think of it as ‘using my resources.’”

Fortunately, Flash didn’t torment her for long. She’d had a long day and a hard battle, and she didn’t have her usual stamina for his particular brand of shenanigans at the moment. She caught her breath while Flash went back to preening, straightening out the feathers he’d twisted up himself and continuing to tug out the damaged ones. Eventually, Shayera sat up again, shot him yet another glare, and went back to preening as well.

“Just wait until G.L. hears about this.”

“If you tell John – or anyone else, for that matter – anything about this, I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

Something told her that Flash wasn’t going to take her threats seriously. No matter, she had her own ways of keeping him quiet. Perhaps a taste of his own medicine.

[catgirl-catboy]

Mikan Tsumiki has Histrionic Personality Disorder

I bet you thought I was joking about typing up a whole analysis on this. Let me preface this by saying I'm not histrionic myself, so please let me know if I make any mistakes when discussing this.

This is less of a headcanon, and more of a theory due to the large amount of evidence, that being said, if you dislike or disagree with it, that's a-okay!

A nice long analysis under the cut.

To those unfamiliar with HPD, Wikipedia defines it as "a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking behaviors, usually beginning in early adulthood" which certainly fits what we see of Mikan in canon.

Here's a screenshot for evidence:

That being said, we should point out that Mikan's behaviours in high stress situations like a killing game isn't equivalent to how she'd behave normally. That being said, lets get into the actual diagnostic criteria for HPD!

I think we can right away check off E, since deliberately falling in suggestive positions is one of Mikan's main character quirks. I could post the CG of her doing this as evidence, but lets not.

I also feel like D is another easy criteria to mark off, since most of Mikan's relationships are characterized by her desire for approval and appreciation. This is most notable with her abusive relationship with Junko, but we also see some shades of this during her FTEs with Hajime, implying it isn't specific to this bad relationship.

Mikan needs somebody in her life that forgives her existence, and every action, both positive and negative, she takes. But that isn't all the evidence that I have that Mikan is continuously seeking appreciation and approval from others, since its a large part of her talent.

A lot of ways Mikan gets positive attention from others is through nursing them back to health, and its one of the few areas in her life she feels confident in. That being said, in one of her FTEs she says some... questionable things about her patents.

And here it is again in Danganronpa S, showing it wasn't just her phrasing things oddly.

Her working as a nurse isn't completely altruistic, since she feeds off the attention and power she has over her patients.

I think that checks off "continual seeking for excitement, appreciation by others, and activities in which the patient is the centre of attention" really solidly. I have less evidence for the rest of the diagnostic criteria, but I believe they fit anyway. I feel like she fits "self-dramatization, theatricality, exaggerated expression of emotions;"

but its a bit harder to say for sure due to a lot of Danganronpa characters doing the same thing, so its unclear how normal Mikan's reactions are in her own universe.

Mikan has one of the more extreme breakdowns of the series, but she was not entirely in her right mind at the time, so idk if I should count it. She also has a very extreme shot to the heart event compared to other characters, where Hajime must propose to her to get the best ending.

Here are some quotes where she has a very exaggerated emotional expression, for your consideration. ""Ah! I-I'm sorry for laughing so suddenly! I-It's just...I can't help it. I'm just so happy, I can't remember the last time I made any friends... Ah, not that you actually want to be friends with me! I'm soooo sorry I said something so...presumptuous! I'll do anything you say... Just...please don't hate me...!"" ""Ah, so in the end...you're all just a bunch of bullies, huh? Justifying your actions with fancy words... M-Making excuses for why it's not really your fault... E-Everyone always treats me like that... Always... "It's all her fault..." "Sh-She's the one with the problem..." I...I'm done with that! You hear me!? I'm doooooooooone! It's not fair...It's not fair not fair not fair notfair notfair notfair notfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfair... Why won't you forgive me!? If you did something wrong...you'd forgive yourself right away...! What did I do!? Why won't anybody forgive me!?""

I also think there's a solid argument for her meeting the "over-concern with physical attractiveness." criteria! It is the main way she gets attention, after all. A lot of her comments have to do with her body, and a lot of the presents she likes are things she can wear.

So long as you belive one of the 'maybe' criteria, then she has enough for a proper HPD diagnosis.

[runawaymun]

I also have been frothing over the spa center comment.

…would love to hear your pj shade regarding Elrond and Rivendell pretty please though?

I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

okay so...regarding PJ shade............where the hell do I even begin.

I wanna preface this by saying that I do love the films. Like they're my childhood. They have a very special place in my heart and they remain my favorite films of all time. I also really love Hugo!Rond -- like I should think that's obvious considering my art and characterization are so largely based off of Hugo's portrayal, but that being said the films really did Elrond so dirty and I'll never forgive PJ for some of the choices he made and the things he chose to leave out -- not only because they hurt Elrond's characterization, but because they hurt all lot of other plotlines and characters as well.

So let's just start with the most egregious issue, which is by-and-large a directorial issue and not necessarily a script or acting issue: Elrond is kind as summer. And while we see that peeking through in certain moments (enough that those of us with daddy issues and/or a precursory knowledge of the character latched onto them...), this doesn't define Peter Jackson's Elrond. Peter Jackson's Elrond is cranky and tired and while that is a fundamentally interesting characterization, it isn't Tolkien's. Tolkien's Elrond isn't like this. He laughs with Bilbo! He tries to stop Pippin from going on the quest (but allows it in the end). He offers friendship to Thorin and hospitality to literally everyone. He carries his harp around with him and offers little tidbits about himself (I was the herald of Gil-Galad and marched with his host...). Elrond on the page just exudes warmth and generosity. Maybe he's tired & worn out and maybe he has lost a bit of hope by the time we get to the Third Age. Maybe. But that certainly isn't a defining trait. Tolkien's Elrond enthusiastically supported Aragorn (vs. Men? Men are weak. Etc. Etc. Etc.) -- there are just so many weird choices that were made in line delivery and energy that are directorial choices for the story which PJ wanted to tell. Hugo Weaving is completely capable of carrying the right energy when directed to! It's not a Hugo problem! We see him teasing Bilbo a bit in Unexpected Journey and being kinda snarky with Thorin and having some playful energy there. It's that Peter Jackson decided that wasn't how he wanted to portray Elrond. And so we end up with this weird stiff character that doesn't look anything like Tolkien's Elrond unless you squint and do a lot of mental gymnastics (which I constantly do).

And the thing is, I would like to give the portrayal the benefit of the doubt and say 'well it really isn't THAT bad', because I look at it through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia and my own love for my blorbo. But people who are casual watchers of the films, or people who are getting introduced to story for the first time (I've had the joy of getting to introduce a lot of people to the films, and have seen a lot of first reactions on Youtube) -- the knee jerk reaction to Peter Jackson's Elrond is what's his problem? if you don't have the context. And that makes me really sad.

And I really do have to put it down to Peter Jackson wanted to tell a certain story. Because it isn't hard to fix this. Most of the lines are fine. You just have to tell Hugo to exude a different kind of energy in them. That scene in the extended edition with Elrond and Aragorn at Gilraen's memorial is awesome, but you never get the sense that Elrond raised Aragorn. There's no warmth to that scene. And that comes down to direction. Viggo and Hugo are amazing actors. If you told them "hey, you guys have a father-son relationship and you're reminiscing over someone that you both cared about" then they could have played it that way and it would have been so good. But you never get that sense.

That comes down to the weird completely contrived conflict Peter Jackson wanted of "Elrond as the antagonist to Beren & Luthien II electric boogaloo" -- which is...such a strange decision. Why make him Thingol 2.0? It's literally just an extra contrived plot point for added conflict and it isn't like we needed it. The films are three hours long each. Aragorn and Arwen didn't need an antagonist to their love story. It's lazy characterization and lazy storytelling and lazy direction. Again, Hugo Weaving is an excellent actor. Masterclass, in fact. And I understand the thought process of "he's afraid to lose his daughter" and I think that's really tasty characterization! I love playing with that characterization! But there is a way to direct and write that without making him an antagonist. You don't even need lines to show that. Maybe just one. Maybe two. But to be honest all you need is a LOT of strong acting on Hugo's part to show the internal conflict as Elrond is outwardly supporting the two of them because he wants them to be happy!

And then there's the uh...nerfing of Elrond.

To be fair, Elrond really is background on purpose in LOTR. He chooses to be a guide. He chooses to be the Dad Everyone Goes To rather than The Big Damn Hero, and that's awesome. That's why I love him! But again there are just the teeniest tiniest changes that could have been made to fix the fact that he's heavily nerfed. SWEET, so "thanks to the skills of Lord Elrond you are beginning to mend!" -- hey can we just, add a bit more weight to the fact that Elrond needed to use Vilya to do that and it pretty much sapped all of his strength? Can we add a bit more weight to how LONG that surgery took and the fact that NO ONE ELSE could have saved Frodo from a Morgul Blade. How about instead of "he needs Elvish medicine", say "we have to get him to Elrond" -- like, I know Arwen says this, but it just takes a few edits to make it abudantly clear that this has less to do with Elves in general and more to do with rings of power.

And then we get to the fjord with the Ringwraiths. I'm not one of those people who is mad that they gave the chase to Arwen rather than Glorfindel. I understand why that decision was made. Do I miss Glorfindel? Hell yeah! But I understand why that decision was made. I just wish that Peter Jackson hadn't also given Arwen the "call the river in fury" superpower. Why not have Elrond be the one to do that? Girlpower, sure. But Arwen's cool enough for having the chase scene against all nine nazgul. Let Elrond have his moment. It takes like one 50% opacity overlay edit to show us he's the one doing it. And this isn't even an Elrond issue so much as a nerfing the worldbuilding issue. We hear about the Three Rings in the prologue and then Peter Jackson promptly never mentions them again save for one deleted scene with Galadriel and Nenya. Until I read the books as an adult I had no idea Elrond and Gandalf had the other two. That's...a pretty egregious thing to leave out.

Peter saves himself somewhat with the faux Silm plot in The Hobbit films. TBH I forgive absolutely everything else about the Hobbit Films for the purpose of that tiny moment where Elrond teases Bilbo and invites him to stay (except it's only in the extended so....again, we see where PJ's priorities lie), and Elrond in that armor saying "you should have stayed dead" like adlkgh--- thank you my crops are watered and my skin is clear.

But it should not have taken Peter six movies to fix how badly he nerfed Elrond, and he didn't even really fix him.

All that to say: so many of my favorite Elrond scenes from the films (the Gilraen memorial, Elrond teasing Bilbo, etc), are scenes from extended cuts, meaning when editing Peter Jackson decided these scenes weren't essential to the story he was trying to tell. And sure, this sure as hell isn't "The Elrond Trilogy" -- but it doesn't have to be. Elrond has so little screentime in the books and Jirt still takes those few moments of screentime to tell us Elrond laughed. Elrond was kind as Summer. Elrond's house was safe and cozy and Evil Things Did Not Enter That Valley. Elrond raised Aragorn as his own son and loved him dearly. Elrond was Kind as Summer. Elrond was kind. Elrond was kind. Elrond was kind.

And that isn't how Peter Jackson chose to portray him. I can't fault the man for not having Elrond as a blorbo. We all have different blorbos and that's okay. The trouble is that Elrond is Jirt's blorbo. And Elrond, at his core -- just like Bilbo and Sam and Frodo -- carries the essential message of Tolkien. It isn't great flashy Acts of Heroism that save the world, but rather quiet courage, and kindness, and gardens and laughter and good food and cheer. Places of safety. Gentle guidance. Healing. Healing. Healing.

So that's why I just will never forgive what Peter Jackson did to Elrond. Elrond is good. He is kind. He is extremely powerful -- but he chooses to use that power to heal and guide. And the reason it makes me so mad is not because he's my blorbo (okay maybe it is a little bit), but because breaking Elrond's character in the films was completely unnecessary and completely avoidable. It's just that Peter Jackson chose to do things his way and tell the story he wanted to tell, rather than taking the time to make some small and easy directorial choices to make sure he got it right. And the end result is there is a depressingly large number of people who live their lives thinking that Elrond's that cranky "MeN aRe WeAk" killjoy dad who hates happiness and runs a glorified hotel, and it just kills me.

[the-phoenix-heart]

Please do spill some of your Mama Greece hcs sometime if you feel comfortable because I love your thoughts on her

You have unleashed a beast Grammy. Here's a brief life history of my Mama Greece. (I can say so much more)

Human Name: Helene (also Lavinia, we'll get to it)

Her father was Mycenae (Mycenaean Greece). She looked up to him greatly as a child.

I headcanon that the City-States of Greece were also personified, and that Helene represented the Greek World as a whole, the one that followed after Mycenae Greece. The City-States aren't really related to her, I kind of characterize them as a cousins.

The City-States don't have much personality that I've decided, but Sparta was a women and a badass, and Athens was a philosophizing misogynist.

For a long time, because Helene represented the Greek World as a whole and the City-States were in charge of themselves she mostly got to spend her time doing whatever the hell she wanted. Disguising herself as a man often, and becoming a genius in mathematics and philosophy. She wasn't so much bothered with war and work for a long time, though she was was a skilled sword woman. She spent much of her time in this period in a hedonistic lifestyle (and I like to think she was involved with the Cult of Dionysus)

And then there was Persia. Their relationship was one you could call enemies with benefits. Vitriolic, Helene didn't much like him, but he was a good fuck. Their relationship got worse overtime, though there was a mutual respect between the two. Basically the France and England of the Ancient times.

When Macedonia began to conquer Greece, I characterize this as him killing off the City-States. Now obviously these places lived on, but it was still a turning point in Greek history, and I think eventually Macedonia would go after Helene - to become the "true" Greek World - and Helene would kill him in turn.

This is when Helene takes on a lot more responsibility. She becomes more a warrior and get into politics. This is also around the time where she and Persia have their final match and she kills him.

Greece is born around this time. Either he pops out of the ground and she finds him, or she actually gives birth to him. I headcanon he comes out of the ground. Either way, he is her and Persia's son and is born during the Hellenistic Period. (What will eventually become Iran is also born of this union and Idk if Helene had any contact with her at this time)

Gonna skip forward a bit to her relationship with Rome. Rome is a complex relationship. They did deeply love each other, Rome more so. He would call her the Venus to his Mars. That said, he still cheated on her frequently, and she could never truly forgive him for taking over her. Still, they were married. They were a devoted, loving couple. She was a vital part of him and his muse in many respects. And she helped raise his children. Romano was her son with Rome, and she was one of Veneziano's mothers (Vene has two mothers, her and Gaul, and Rome is obviously his father.)

(Rome tried to bring Gaul back home once and Helene shut that shit down quickly.)

She lived off and on between her house in her homelands and Rome's villa. I don't know where Greece was at the time, although a part of me wants to say Greece was not allowed to be raised in Rome's home with his sons. So possibly Greece spent most of his time when he and his Mama would visit Rome living with the servants and Helene would be sure to visit him throughout the day and make sure he was doing alright. When they would return to her home she would make sure she could be as openly affectionate with him as possible.

The "Divorce" happens when she becomes the Eastern Roman Empire, which Rome wasn't exactly a fan of. She moved to Constantinople with Greece, though she and Rome may have sometimes had secret trysts.

I have this imagine in my head that when he died she found his body and slipped his bloody helmet off of his head and placed it on her own. She renamed herself the Byzantine Empire and took on a new human name, Lavinia. The ancient of wife of Aeneas.

Also, as Byzantine she marries Kievan Rus (Olga) or at least they become a couple for a while, which makes her technically Ukraine, Russia, and Belarus's other mother. There was some love there, but their relationship was strained. She was not much of a mother to Rus's kids as well, though Ukraine has memories of Mama Byzantine and how powerful and glorious she was.

As for Romano and Veneziano, both were territories for her at a time, but I think she would have left them in their respective territories to be educated/raised by their people in charge. They are just a reminder of their father and what he did to her, though she does miss them and sometimes visit them. I think losing Romano would've been harder on her than losing Veneziano. Romano was always her favorite of the two, plus the loss of Southern Italy was different than the loss of Venice. She willingly gave Veneziano indepdence. Romano she held onto for a long time but eventually lost.

...Plus little Veneziano would eventually take the attitude of "Fuck You This Is Mine Now" and played a part in her weakening when he not only funded a trip to reinstate a deposed Byzantine prince but then looted and pillaged Constantinople when he didn't get his money back and took some more of her lands. Bad Veneziano. Sit in your corner and think about what you've done (I genuinely don't know how this works with his canon personality but this did all happen irl) (also yes I see Veneziano as Venice because I find that to make the most sense and be coolest for his character)

And then we fast forward to her eventual death at the hands of Turkey. Do I think he loved her? ...I think he was in awe of her. I think he loved the idea of her. I think he looked at her history and I think he wished that he could be like her or wished that he could be with her. But also, he did kill her. In my imagery laden mind he finds her under an olive tree and killed her there. Maybe there was a fight. Maybe she finally accepted it.

tl;dr: Helene starts as the heir to a power vacuum after the death of her father, but instead of taking charge and responsibility she spends her time doing as she pleases and learning while the city-states handle things. Until Macedonia roles up and she kills him before he can kill her and she takes charge, she kills her rival and sometimes lover Persia and he gives her her greatest treasure Herakles, her son. And also has a daughter that she doesn't interact with much. She marries Rome to survive and forms a loving, if dysfunctional marriage and has another son Romano, and there's also Veneziano who is her son with Rome but also Gaul. When Rome is killed she takes her place as the Byzantine empire and spends years just trying to survive and adapt and persevere until finally she accepts her death at the hands of Turkey.

For personality headcanons: I characterize her being motivated by a fear of death to collect as many skills as possible and adapt to her surroundings. The Greeks HATED talking about death and I think that would bleed over into her actual beliefs. I think she rarely, if ever, let herself die, because she was always afraid that she would die for the final time.

By the end of her life she is a full on genius. Math, language, astronomy, art, philosophy, even music and theatre. She had this insatiable curiosity and need to learn that sometimes overtook her best instincts of survival.

Physical Headcanons: 6'0'' because I can. Her body fluctuates between incredibly muscular, on the thicker side, and thin from weakness over her many years of life. For some basic ages: By the the she kills Persia she is physically in her early twenties. Late twenties when she marries Rome. Early thirties when she takes over as Byzanties. Early-Mid forties at her death (Turkey is into Milfs).

This is what I think she would have looked like probably around the time she married Rome. It is missing a few details. She's not as tanned as I imagine her, she doesn't have the moles I imagine her having, and I couldn't get her nose right-I imagine she has a hooked nose.

[imanightmarethatlookslikeadream]

THE REMAINERS ( Ghost x Fem! Reader) Part 2

Hello everyone again, I'm here with the new chapter of the story that I wrote the beginning of yesterday. It's a pretty quiet chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

First of all, I want to say that I have never played COD before, everything here is fictitious, and English is not my native language; I write them by translating. So if I make mistakes, please forgive me. I hope you like the story.

Warning: Guns, harassment, kidnapping, military, psychological violence, lots of drama and tears

Warning 2: I named my main character "Serafina" and characterized her as a writer. But it doesn't have to suit you; you can put yourself in its place and adapt it to yourself. I just did it to keep the flow and integrity of the story.

Summary: You were married to Lieutenant Simon Riley for almost a year. You gave birth and had a baby girl. After the birth, there was a knock on the door of your house, you thought it was Simon, but there were four Russians in front of you. You were kidnapped and the Russian mafia asked for a trade. They wanted codes for the launch missiles in exchange for the life of you and your child. The trade was denied and you and your child fell into the hands of the Russian mafia. Simon didn't come to save you. What was going to happen to you and your little girl?

Part 2: Behind the Scenes

-----------Let's go back a bit, about a year ago.---------------

It's been about 6 months since you married Simon and you were a fresh 3 months pregnant! God, this was life's best gift to you. You lived in a small town on the English border. For your safety, it was essential to stay out of sight. Simon couldn't bear for anything to happen to you. And, of course, so are you. Ever since you met him, it's as if your soul goes with him whenever he goes on a mission, and when he returns home, your soul returns with him. These four walls had no taste without him. But now it was quite different; you smiled as you prepared to leave the house. You were on your way to find out the gender of your baby, and your heart almost burst out of excitement. You wished Simon was here, you thought. Now who knows what part of the world he was on? He'll be fine, you said to yourself. He's fine, I'm fine, and our baby is fine. You took off slowly. Inside your town was a small hospital a 15-minute walk away. You started walking slowly. Life seemed more vivid to you today. The colours were vibrant. The voices sounded like melodies to your ears.

Smiling, you entered the hospital and went up to the floor where your doctor was. Your doctor smiled when she saw you.

-Welcome Serafina! +Hey, Hello Doctor - I don't believe you forgot my name and I hope it's just excitement! let's lie down You lay down smiling, you really forgot your doctor's name. You opened your belly and stared at your doctor's ultrasound machine. Your excitement was growing. It didn't matter the gender of the baby, it was your baby, but inside it was born that there would always be a girl, her father's daughter… -How do you feel, Serafina! Do you think it's a boy or a girl? +Ahhh!, I don't know why but it sounds like she's going to be a girl. A princess -You're feeling right, mommy, a 3-month-old baby girl. It's pretty healthy. You didn't know what to say. Tears of happiness started flowing, and you threw your head back and started laughing. A princess father's daughter All of this must have been a miracle. It was as if you had come home from the doctor with your feet in the air. You were flying with happiness. You wanted to tell this news to Simon right away, but it wouldn't. You could only call him once he called you. You sighed deeply, pulled out your daughter's first ultrasound from your pocket and started looking. What should her name be? Simon was an Englishman, and you were a Spanish. You start to think of a common name.

Marry? Anna? Rose? No, those names were definitely too cliché. Daphne? Yes, it looked beautiful. Daphne Riley? It wasn't bad at all. Lilibeth? That sure sounded great, Antonella? Firstborn and flower? Why not

Lilibeth Antonella Riley ?My God, it was perfect. It was like a queen's name.

You wanted to say that to Simon right away. You were very curious about his reaction. But there was nothing you could do. You couldn't call him unless he called you.

Two days later, the phone rang in the evening. The only number calling you. You missed him so much. You opened it on the first ring +Hey! -Love +God, Simon. I missed hearing your voice so much. -I missed you too, darling. How's it going? You missed him so much, breathing in his scent, sleeping on your chest. Tears began to flow slowly from your eyes -Are you crying, my love? I can't stand it +It's okay. I'm crying with happiness this time. I have very good news for you. -What? +I found out the gender of our baby. I have the ultrasound photo, and I'm looking at it right now. How small it is. A few minutes of silence fell on the phone. +simon?darling? -Serafina, his voice was hoarse. He was trying to suppress herself. +Do you wonder about the gender of the baby? Do you want to find out or get a surprise?

-tell me darling +Simon -Serafina +Baby, our baby… will be a girl, Simon, she will be her father's little princess. Simon felt his heart stop, a little girl, his father's daughter, his father's little princess. All this couldn't be true. Simon began to think that he had died and gone to heaven. Was this all real? You slowly broke the deep silence that had formed +My love -serafina +are you there? -I do not know. +I thought of a name for him, do you want to hear it? -more than anything you smiled +Lilibeth Antonella Riley -Like a queen +definitely! I thought that too. You gave a small laugh. -Serafina, darling. I don't know what to say.

+But I know what to tell you, Lieutenant. Lieutenant, dangerous word. Every time you said that word, Simon knew he'd hear a reprimand or reproach next. +Is isn't it time to go back home now? -You know it's out of my hands +I know, but I need you here at home with me. There was a short silence, and you continued.

+ I can't do this alone, Simon. I can't hold her in my arms in that hospital alone. You need to be here. Her father has to be here. Her father has to be here. Here is the striking sentence. It was already starting to echo in Simon's head. -I'll be, darling. I'll be home as soon as possible. But now I have to turn it off, okay?

+promise me. Promise you'll come home. -promise. I promise I will come

+we love you, Simon Riley -I love you too. And the call hang up sound. You sat back and took a deep breath. He promised, he would come.

The days were passing rather slowly. You were happy with it, enjoying your pregnancy. You've got your computer in hand, it's time to get back to your readers. You were a full-time writer for a blog site. You were writing about places to visit and places to eat. It was fun, you loved your job. You've been on the road since 18, from the most populated cities in the world to the farthest corners, from Europe to Asia, you've been to almost everywhere. Isn't that how you met Simon already? You were in Mexico, you were going to go back to Spain, the land of your birth. You had been accepted to a PhD in Spanish at a Spanish university, and you should have celebrated it. How much did you drink that night? What was on your mind when you wrote Simon that napkin?

you smiled

There was nothing. You just wanted to write. You wanted him to take off that mask and kiss you, hold you in his muscular arms. You laughed when you thought of that night.

Yes, you wanted these, but what did you do when you saw him in front of you? You stumbled and fell to the ground. How embarrassing it was. You were stuck in your eyes as Simon slowly knelt down next to you. "I want to drown in these eyes." You thought you said it from your heart, but no, you said it out loud, too loud. Simon was grinning slightly from under his mask. And he extended his hand to you -"Ghost" You didn't understand what he said at first, it wasn't Halloween time, was it? +Casper? you had a big laugh and continued +that cute one, cute ghost Casper Simon was taken aback; no one dared to say such a thing to him. Simon felt anger and anger take over his body. How dare you? but you continued +But, sir, I must inform you that I don't remember that little goddamn ghost dressed like that, it's that masculine, it's sexy. my god You should have shut up, you really should have just shut up. Simon felt the anger go through his body. You were just pretty much drunk and you probably wouldn't even remember it. Oh but you would remember. Simon tried to pick you up, but you didn't want to and you pulled him to you, so at least you thought he was, because he hadn't moved an inch. When you saw that it didn't move, you got angry and tried to pull more. Finally he gave up and leaned closer to her face. Simon had some things to accept. He knew you had been cutting him all night because he was cutting you too. A white complexion, auburn-brown hair with shining blonde strands between them, green eyes, the white dress you wear. Yes, he'd seen it all under those bar lights, and you didn't even realize he was looking at you. I guess it was pretty obvious why his nickname was the ghost. Your eyes were even more beautiful up close, they sparkled like emeralds, and your hair smelled like coffee. Simon was a tea person but not anymore. You were very close to his face.

-Ghost -Ghostetttt mmmhhhh -Do you want to be my ghost and you paused and told him your number -49 849…. Call me, ghost. Where and whenever you want. I am waiting you. Then you stumbled slowly towards your friends. When you woke up at your friend's house in the morning, memories of last night were slowly starting to fill your mind. In the conversation you had with that man, you gave him your number. After thinking about the events, you decided that it was quite illogical, and the guy couldn't memorize your number instantly. He probably forgot your number that minute. That's what you thought and shrugged and continued with your day, but you were wrong. He was a ghost, and he wouldn't forget. Simon looked at the small card and napkin in his hand. He quickly wrote your number on the back of a business card after you left.

49 849 - Serafina v. Mexico, August 21.

Puffing, he put the card and napkin in his pocket. He was sure he wouldn't. You were just drunk and not serious, you wanted to have fun, right? Simon reasoned about this for a long time. This reckoning within him continued for 2 months just like this. He had just returned to base after a long and bloody mission. It had been cleaned and now lay in its rather uncomfortable bed. He took the card with the number from the nightstand, yes he always carried it with him, but he wasn't going to say it. In a moment of heedlessness, he dialed the number. The call rang for quite some time, but no one picked up the phone. -Fuck Simon angrily put the phone down on the nightstand and closed his eyes. The voices in his head were roaring. "We told you this was going to happen, Simon, what were you thinking? Did you think she wouldn't forget you? Stupid!" Simon covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. This was going to be a pretty long night for him. Simon's sleep had always been light, he had to be cautious, and he had almost jumped out of bed when a text message sounded on his phone. Nobody knew about this phone, unless the terrorists he was fighting were texting for revenge. Which he didn't think would text them at six in the morning. He picked up the phone and looked at the message: "Hi, I saw you called me last night. I tried to call you but I think your phone is not working properly and I hope this message reaches you. Anyway, please call or text me again later in the day."

I tried to call you,

she was back. Simon got up from the bed and slightly backed up. His fingers were running over the phone.

-Good Morning +Good morning, hello, may I know who I'm talking to? Simon grinned slightly. -Ghost At first, you didn't understand the incoming message. Ghost? Whoever was on the phone was making fun of you. You stopped when you were going to give him a big curse and thought of that night.

Masked man, those dark eyes, call me, ghost, I'll be waiting for you. Oh my god,

fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

YOU THOUGHT IT TO BE A DREAM, YOU SAID HE CANNOT MEMORY YOUR NUMBER, BUT IT HAS REACHED YOU NOW. You felt your heart was going to explode, you lost your ability to think logically from excitement. You thought this only happens in fairy tales. You stared blankly at the screen and tried to write something. As the minutes passed, Simon began to tense up and the voices in his head came back to life. "She didn't know you idiot, you should have known this was going to happen. Disgrace" He closed his eyes and tried to silence the voices in his head, and a text message cut off all that noise. +Casper? and smile. Simon backed slightly -not very cute. You had your back a little too +I prefer this ghost.

And that's how it all started. You found out eight months later what he was doing, but it was okay. He was a soldier, not an outlaw. The only thing that worried you was his health problem. You were constantly thinking of bad scenarios, the ghost knew them and was trying to send text messages to tell you that he was okay. He wasn't supposed to do that, it was dangerous, but he could handle the danger. That's how everything went. It took him two months to call you, almost a year to tell you he loves you, and five years to propose to you. You were moving slowly, but it was okay. You were at peace. You looked at your computer screen, you started a blog, you started writing about the places you went and saw. You had followers and you were making some money too. Your husband would be home soon, and the birth of your baby was getting closer and closer. There was no apparent problem. Life was beautiful.

But life was not always beautiful, it was full of problems. You started writing, unaware of what was going to happen to you. If only you could look up for a second and see the men watching you, maybe if you'd let Simon know, he'd come to your rescue? Or maybe he would send someone?

Black Cadillac, this car was supposed to attract a lot of attention in a neighbourhood like this, but gradually night had fallen, and everyone was already home. Four men were sitting inside. four Russians

-Он внутри (She is inside) -Когда мы получим его? (When will we get it?) -Ничего страшного, если она беременна? Нам нужно найти другую жертву. (Is it okay if she's pregnant? We have to find another prey.) And the eldest spoke: -Дети, дети… Он беззащитная газель, без стада, некуда бежать. Зачем нам пропускать такую ​​охоту? мы просто подождем (Children, children … She is a defenceless gazelle, with no herd, nowhere to run. Why should we skip a hunt like this? We'll just wait)

-А если лейтенант придет, то пропустить его будет невозможно (What if the lieutenant comes, then it will be impossible to miss her) The old bastard smiled confidently:

-Он не придет, Нико. (He won't come, Niko.)

The men did not say anything else and continued to watch the house.

Why didn't you come, Simon? What the hell were you in?

--------------------------More coming soon----------------------