#but playing as a paladin made me go oh. this game is *great* actually

[sunflowershark]

The experience of romancing people as a paladin in bg3 is just. so sublime. You end up latching onto a character and going you. Yes you. Something is very wrong with you. Something is very wrong with you and it is the kind of problem where I am oathbound to fix it. Let me ask you about it. Learn more about you. Learn more about your inner world. Learn more about your body. We are kissing now

[magicratfingers]

Progress report ! ૮ ºﻌºა ✨ kind of a work-in-progress diary for myself. v indulgent.

intense world of dick terrifying - goin good! got a main character, some supporting characters, figuring out the big rivalry today. Gotta figure out a format. I was thinking of basing it off of the Day at the Airport book bc it's only about 11 spreads but there's a lot going on on each one. Could leave it a comic but I also want it to be printable hmm catnips cantrips chooseyer-by-mail test - learning a lot! the world-building has been reallllllly fun - like the kind of fun where you want to go a little deeper bc you like it not bc you have to. perfect situation. Gotta resolve the mix between the DM roleplay and the actual postcards. Made and branded a whole gmail account and character to handle lost postcards - Pizza Kentucky III of the Isekai Post Office. Haven't been keeping up with the blog. But the blog is supposed to be more of a holding container than a 'thing'. One thing I did not expect to be learning was spreadsheets. Keeping track of names and addresses and choices and paths has given me a new perspective on pacing and structure. Also? Been a great excuse to finally play with UV epoxy and it's so straightforward that I'm mad it took me so long. media thats not just webcomics - dunmeshi is out!!! Laios my beloved. Still afraid to find and read Kotteri's Veil bc it will make me too feelings. Started reading books I loved as a kid (Redwall!!!) and some story craft books (found an NPR list somewhere) WRHP s2 - started to feel like work but changing up the backgrounds freed me up, feels fun again Sorcerer comic - paused while I wait for fashion inspiration to pull the ending together Emotional support paladin - paused till I feel like it. It's got such a specific delivery style that I don't wanna force to get the story out, so i gotta wait for some story aspects to firm up Bonnie & Clawd - more of a character study than a comic - fun to practice cutie pies cuddling. But... how DO birds and wolves smooch. Saw a youtube video about how ravens and wolves are friends and work together. So perfect. Valentines day thing - got some supplies coming tomorrow, gonna try out my idea. If it works maybe sell it? If it doesn't work, oh well, probably will learn something. Wanted to make perforated cards and stickers but got a little overwhelmed thinking about printing. Might just do a digital thing if an idea comes to me. Been wanting to make holographic stickers but when I sit down to think of a motif it feels stressful. Maybe I just test the Poodle Broadcasting System logo? I've always loved the aesthetic of valentines day but never felt like it's been delivered right. I certainly never felt indulged - something is always a little not-cute or too-cutesy. Think it could be really fun to have it be an annual 'surprise box'. I lost my halloween fam in the schmivorce so I could use a holiday to go crazy on. (For years I would drive out and help build a whole haunted house in a garage and it was like a week-long party with great food and movies and laughs. Sad to lose it, sadder still to know it was so easy for them to lose me. ) Dishupon - ok not as many players and responses as I'd hoped. But that wasn't really the point. Point was to invent some sanrio-y characters for fun - which i did. And I will also say that the exercise of coming up with a variety of cozy, fun, silly, spicy ways to think about dishes has made MY dishes mostly effortless. Even made a little foam clay Tiger coach and he's sitting on the window above the sink. Perhaps I will think of a game to get my car inspection done.

Overall January is great. Granted, it's the 4th. Had my ten year work anniversary (idk how old everyone thinks I am but it's Not 20) and got to 1010 followers on twitter on the same day. And the new d20 is out on the 10th so that felt real nice and square. Bit worried that all the good vibes I built up over holiday vacay will get smashed when I'm put on a new work project. But i feel like I'm about to level up a little bit art-style wise. Feelin grateful, feelin warm & cozy

[optiwashere]

I love all your analysis about Shadowheart, it helps a lot ! I agree with you, act 2 was great for her as it is but I'm curious how you experienced one moment in the game. It's when the party get out of the Shadowfell via a portal, then Shadowheart is momentarily captured by Shar to torture her.

In my run, when Shadowheart returned from this, Tav just told her, she's not alone, she has them, and Shadowheart just go throught and confessed her feelings and her desire to be together now and forever with Tav.

This use of forever was so abrupt from my pov, I really didn't expect it, at this moment.

And I wonder now, how did it go for Asheera ? And how did it go for you ?

I'm glad you're enjoying these posts! It helps me to break down these ideas for later fic writing purposes too, since I haven't been able to play the game for a while (ordering a second SSD so that I can just keep the damn thing installed permanently lol)

I went over the abruptness in this analysis essay thing last month! She definitely did the immediate confession in both of my playthroughs.

But the TL;DR is that I think she just had the illusion of Shar's "love" for her completely shattered, between her good-natured instincts struggling with the Nightsong being a tortured woman like Aylin and then her own torture, and after spending an entire Act keeping away from the PC she just pushes every emotion out at once. It feels abrupt because we don't live in her head, and when we as an origin playthrough do we obviously can't experience her romance.

A lot of this is extratextual analysis, but to ME that abrupt reaction feels as if she's frantically reaching for anything that openly, in her face, tries to be good to her.

The PC respects her boundaries without any argument or prodding or second-guessing, something that Sharrans just don't have. She lived in a cult compound for decades without any privacy except what she stole with Nocturne and the hiding place.

The PC might give her an Idol of Shar or bring Shadowheart her favorite flower as a gift without any expectations whatsoever. Sharrans don't do that. Everything is transactional or laced with double-meaning.

Throughout Act 2 she focuses entirely on her religion, and what does it get her? Hate and pain and betrayal and (with Aylin's help) later recognition that everything has always been a lie.

So why not try this thing that's staring her in the face that might be good? Why keep hiding herself?

For Asheera: in my fic canon, Asheera is an Oath of Redemption paladin (let us fucking pick it Larian! It's so fitting for this game!!!) so she's desperate during the entire Act 2 to push Shadowheart away from the Dark Justiciar path. She recognizes a blind zealot, but she doesn't want to hurt Shadowheart and just lets it go. There's the possibility that she actually breaks her oath there (fic fodder!) And there's a part of her that has to be ready to fight Shadowheart in the Shadowfell if things had gone differently.

As for the confession, I think Asheera is just terrified when Shadowheart's gone for that brief moment (at least brief in the Material Plane.) It's basically instant in-game, but I like to imagine it's a few breaths at least. Enough time for Asheera to wonder if she'd made a mistake, and when Shadowheart returns they're both just so relieved to be together all the confessions spill out of both of them.

Like, Asheera's thought process is basically: she actually did it. She threw away the goddess torturing her. I don't care what else happens now as long as she's safe. Oh? She says she wants to be together forever? *brain snaps in two like a twig*

And with that, I gotta go to work lmao

[wavernot4love]

hello it is time 4 yet another wavernot4love gig recap: clancy cleveland 9.28.24 edition (from the perspective of someone who went in nearly blind due to wanting 2 be surprised) ((i typed most of this after the show until three am last night before finally crashing so it may in fact be rather incoherent) (((note i have not had time 2 edit Anything so these pictures will be uhhh Not The Best)))

- best trees experience of my life. I WAS RIGHT BY THE CIRCLE BY TYLER????? AND THEN THEY BOTH UNEXPECTEDLY WALKED RIGHT BY ME (*right* by me,,,,, do see "bonus cursed images" section at the end of this post ,,,,) AFTER TREES ON THEIR WAY BACK 2 THE STAGE???? in true wavernot4love fashion after losing my marbles for a moment ..... i locked in and yelled "great show guys!" at them both

(continued after this lil thingy)

- i had so much fun running around back and forth between stages following the dudes around. for the main b stage segment i went right by tyler and it was so nice idk dawg (mulberry street was easily my favorite bit, and will probably always be one of my favorites). i went by the little barricade thing by the path when they came back too

- oh how i love when tyler breaks character ,,,,,,, homie was talking about the michigan person in canada the other day from that video and being salty over it and introduces the story by saying something like "during routines in the night, when i'm like being all cool in the camera like [gremlin noises]"

- JOSH SINGING?????? i kid you not i've loved that bit of paladin but did not actually know that was him/that was the tidbit tyler was hinting at way back, so this served as a.... Revelation for wavernot4love. anyways i LOVED both his segments in paladin & stressed out/the tyler/josh dynamic onstage there

- i somehow wound up on the screen during the judge despite being 15ish rows back (in a crowd shot, i mean)?????

- awesome production this tour dude. so big and truly immersive - even moreso made you feel like you were living all the songs.

- early on i was a bit worried for tyler that he was maybe straining/losing his voice? not sure, might've been nothing really, but either way, he really pulled through and did great.

- there was a little sports Bit of tyler asking people for the cleveland score in a currently ongoing game which was quite silly (also lots of ohio talk naturally, as there should be, see: "finally! i'm with all my people!" proclamation)

- the part of backslide live where every last person in the room has their hands in the air..... oh yes

- fake you out into guns for hands..... oh yes 2.0 (vessel edition)

- tyler just clowning on everyone a good bit by going "did we do alright? do you smell good?" [crowd, making thumbs down motions: "NO!"], making fun of our not clearing out the red circle right.... you know, understandable

- bracelets! a sticker! confetti! oh my!!!! (bad quality pic, as ya know, i did not currently have natural lighting but U get the idea)

- lavish live. oh my. the shades. the dosey doeing little move the two of them had going. all of it!!! once again i love that i had next 2 no spoilers about the antics this tour it was so fun just. seein everything for the first time as it happened

- speaking of..... spotted lavash cafe merch in the crowd. also love that they're playing into the bit still by showing the cafe's name on the screens during lavish

- brought my film point and shoot and snapped a decent amount, stoked 2 get those developed

- sure enough, end of paladin came as as much of a jumpscare as i imagined live

- also the crowd around me was really solid for the most part honestly, and seemed 2 vibe with everything, be into the lore etc

- overall my favorite songs live 2nite were trees, oldies station, paladin, mulberry street, gfh, next semester, my blood, lavish, stressed out, and natn

- i also overall became a much bigger fan of paladin after 2nite

- only song i was totally surprised wasn't there this time was lane boy! guess she had to take a bit of a break which i understand

annnnd finally..... bonus cursed Images of

1. a tale in two video stills of my cousin's of wavernot4love in the flesh (second pic) looking a combination of shocked/Afraid/ecstatic (i cannot explain this absolutely goofy expression on my face any way else, it's worse yet in the unedited pic where i don't have part of my face scribbled out fhfhhf) when tyler & josh randomly Appeared and took that route back after trees i was talking about at the beginning of this post

(the figure closest to the camera sure is tyler, in the second pic as well, as, ya know, you probably figured, considering the black neck/white shirt thing. absolutely cursed reaction indeed and i am so glad it was caught on camera by my cousin)

2. self explanatory as to why i just got a chuckle out of this after scrolling across it in my photos

3. this picture of josh pre backflip that's asking for a toilet to be edited into it or something of the sort ,,,, i do not know it gave me another chuckle at three am last night going through my stuff

yippee!!! overall i am honestly so glad i avoided much content about tour for a change, made for a neat experience. fantastic fantastic show from the pilots, possibly my favorite from them (though every show is so special) and easily one of my favorite shows in general i've been to

[wordslikesilver]

Playing baldur’s gate 3 with my gf has made it so much more palatable to play an Oath of Vengeance Paladin. Like I do not look at people like auntie Ethel and think to myself oh nooo but what if she could change?? I’m just like no you are unquestionably ontologically evil and I’m going to smite you so hard it removes you from the samsara of life and death, buckle up you son of a bitch. Playing Durge is ESPECIALLY fun for the moral greyness of what am I and how long can I hold back the red tide? Multiclassing into warlock is so fun too, I really feel like I’m playing as a Spirit of Vengeance, this is how I’ve imagined my character so far

I only wish I could be an Aasimar but Tieflings are so wicked cool as well. It’s interesting being in D&D and looking at all these enemies and realizing the world here doesn’t have to feel so paralyzingly grey anymore since it’s a fictional setting where you’re supposed to have fun and feel empowered enough to fight the great evils you face. IRL I firmly believe everyone has a right to live and rehabilitative justice is the only real justice but here, I come face to face with genocidal racists and actual bloodthirsty demons from hell and fuck it! I’m killing all of you! I will sleep all the better for it too! I see the suffering of the weak and I will rise to protect them with my own bare chest as their shield if that’s what it takes, and then I’m coming for Vengeance. There is nothing you can do to stop me. No matter how far or fast you run I will find you and I will kill you and you will learn what the ones you hurt felt when you hunted them.

GOD it’s so fun to let loose and indulge in the righteous fury against monsters and the very worst that come crawling out of the darkness. Fucking LOVE getting to role play as Ghost Rider, this game FUCKS.

[lunaraindrop]

The Lie Becomes the Truth- A Steddie Fic (Part 4)

Link to Part 3

At some point, Steve was going to have to get used to embarrassing himself.

While Robin was always kind enough to remind him that he sucked when he struck out with the ladies, Steve was a jock.

He was strong.

He was handsome

.

He had good hand-eye coordination, a wiz with his nailbat, and could beat up a Russian asshole with a phone.

Not too shabby, if he did say so himself. (Which he *did*, thank you very much Robin and Dustin.)

From the movies they played in Family Video, Steve had seen many action heroes saving the day. They would get shot, stabbed, blown up even, and still save the day.

So. Eddie was not some dainty damsel, and Steve, while being a strong, handsome former jock, was no action hero from a movie. After taking a few steps, Steve nearly fell over.

Right. He was injured too. Shit.

After some rearranging, Steve ended up with a new Eddie backpack. Or as Dustin liked to call it, Eddie was riding “Yoda-Style”.

Steve kept to himself just how much he didn’t think Eddie looked like a Muppet.

(Steve would tell Robin later, much later, that it is possible to crush on a musician that doesn’t look like they were created by Jim Henson. She flipped him off. It was great.)

Something else Steve learned? His piggyback companion didn’t think of him as that safe Shire place.

He couldn’t feel upset about that, because he found out that he was something far, far greate than a place.

He, Steve, was the Samwis!

Actually, that was a bit confusing. Eddie had said, “Samwis”. Dustin said the character Eddie was asking for was named “Samwise”.

That wasn’t what Eddie was calling him.

A plus on Eddie being pressed up tight against his back, (besides the obvious), was that Eddie’s words were clearer. No more garbled half sounds. Being off the ground made the metal head also more of his chatty self.

Still delirious as fuck, but at least they could understand the words coming out of his mouth.

Even if they did make Steve blush. He was confused as shit, but well…

How was he supposed to react when these things were crooned in his ear?

“Oh Stevewise. My gardener. My paladin. My fluffy haired knight. You water my flowers, tend my hedges, fight off Shelob…carrying me outta Mordor.”

Dustin kept looking over, furrowed brow, as he limped between his Nancy and Robin crutches.

Steve knew that look.

The little shit was contemplating.

Gears were working overtime in Dustin’s head, trying to make a picture out these random puzzle pieces he thought Eddie was giving them.

To be honest, there were gears turning in Steve head, too. (It was easier to focus on that than the pain in his sides or how only a few minutes before Eddie was….how *Steve* was a liar.)

He knew what a knight was, easy. He knew his hair had incredible volume. But the rest of that? What the fuck? Were those from that book his likes? From the *Dorks and Disasters* game? Was he speaking in code?

And most importantly…how the hell did Eddie know he liked to garden?!

Eddie didn’t have much of a yard at the trailer park, but he had brought some flower pots over to Max’s to brighten the place. But how did Eddie know he grew them?

Something warm was filling is chest, like liquid sunshine.

If Eddie wanted him to be his gardener, he would be the best god damn gardener Eddie had ever seen. What little lawn he had would be trimmed and green. He would keep Eddie’s house full of flowers every week. He and his uncle would drown in fresh vegetables. Forget the farmer’s market. *Steve’s* their farmer’s market, baby.

It was when they entered the trailer that Eddie’s chatter took a despondent turn.

As Steve put his precious, heavy load on the couch, Eddie…sang.

Steve didn't pay very much attention in school. But he did remember something about ocean sirens using beautiful singing to hypnotizing sailors to drown themselves, or something like that.

Yeah. If Eddie was a siren, then Steve would be drowning.

It wasn’t some heavy metal ballad, like most might expect. No. It was all the words he has brushed the shell of Steve’s ear, plus more, put to song. Steve was pretty impressed. Eddie was some fucking musician, making a song on the spot with all that blood loss and being nearly unconscious. But unlike how happy the words made Steve before, these were…sad.

"Oh Stevewise. My gardener. My paladin. My fluffy haired knight.

You water my flowers, tend my hedges, fight off strange things in the night.

You carry me out of Mordor, Safe, Mount Doom a distant shore

But you'll go back to the Shire, marry Rosie. And I...I’ll go West with the Elves, forevemore"

Dustin’s head snapped towards Eddie. His genius gears stopped turning. There was an epiphany. One completely lost to Steve. Completely lost to Nancy too, it seemed.

But not to Robin.

Despite him knowing for a fact that Robin didn’t play D&D or read that book (he asked, okay?), she knew a thing to two about music. Where Dustin got some secret code in he words, Robin heard something n the notes.

Something that made her cry and cover he mouth.

Nancy had turned to her and ask what was going on, but she just shook her head.

“It isn’t my place to tell.”

Dustin turned to her, looking so sad and lost, before he limped over and gently hugged Eddie.

“Oh Eddie…that isn’t how the story has to end! Frodo doesn’t have to go into the West. We love you. I love you! Your family loves you! Stay with us.”

Wait a fucking second. Was Eddie talking about…dying?! Again?!

Not on Steve’s watch!

Frantic, Steve gripped Eddie face. His eyes were still closed, so Steve got in close.

“Listen here, Munson! Stay AWAY from any fucking lights at the end of tunnels, okay? No walking West, or any shit, okay? Plus, ah…”

Eddie had talked Elves, right?

“Plus, the Elves are dipshit asshole...”

What was something Eddie hated?

Steve’s eyes lit up.

He knew this!

He slapped his hands and snapped his fingers.

“JOCKS! The Elves are total Jocks!”

Robin, bless their shared brain cell, picked up what he was putting down. “Yeah! And not the nice, dumb kind! Jason Carver? Totally a zealot, child hurting, friends-of-Dorothy-hating Elf!”

Eddie wrinkled his nose. “Eww.”

Smiling, Dustin jumped back in. “The West is full of Jason Carver Elves! Don't go towards any lights! Stay in the Shire. Your uncle is in the Shire.”

“Wayne?”

Steve put some curls behind his ears.

“Yeah. Wayne’s waiting in-in the Shire. Why don’t we go say hello?”

While the three of them were talking Eddie out of his dark mood, Nancy had used the time to fashion a new rope out of towels from the bathroom, and even a makeshift seat out of Eddie’s guitar strap. Somehow, big brains Nancy made the rope twice as long, and developed a pulley system with a towel rack, a floor lamp, and a plastic wheel-thingie with wrapped black cable that must have been from Wayne Munson’s job.

Jesus, sometimes Steve wondered if that woman was a female McGyver. How did she end up with an idiot like him, again?

Going as carefully as possible, Nancy crawled through first. Dustin was next, put into the guitar strap and towel seat. Nancy repositioned the mattress. Robin helped Dustin up as he climbed with Steve pulling on the rope. Hands were going bloody and raw from the terrycloth, Steve grunted and smiled when Dustin made it to the other side.

It was time for Eddie.

Unlike Dustin, Eddie wasn’t able to sit upright. He needed to be wrapped tightly in a blanket, while in the seat, and secured with some of the cables before they could pulley him through.

Gingerly laying him on the floor, Eddie started speaking again.

“Shire Time?”

Checking the belt already around his body, Robin answered back.

“We need to make you an Eddie burrito, but yes! We’ll get you to the Shire, then the hobbit hospital for magical stiches and rabies shots. How does that sound?”

Steve lifted Eddie as best as he could, and placed him in on the blanket. Something was still troubling Eddie, Steve could tell. As he and Robin wrapped him up (with “helpful” instructions from both Dustin and Nancy, Jesus), asked him what was wrong.

“But what about Rosie?”

Steve remembered him calling Nancy a flower, but he started to think that maybe even that had to do with that book too. That song of Eddie’s had him-Sam-Stevewise-whoever the fuck he was marrying this Rosie.

And that? Yeah, no.

He couldn’t let Eddie think that.

After all, he was Eddie’s gardener. And secretly damn proud of it.

Man, Steve really needed to read more.

A scary thought crossed his mind.

What if Eddie was so out of it that he *wasn’t* his gardener? What if the Samwis guy was a gardener, and Eddie was just reliving his favorite book while his mind was checked out?

“Hey, Eddie?”

In his cocoon, Eddie’s head lulled towards the sound of Steve’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know who I am? Like, really?”

Robin looked at him, curious and concerned.

“Steve, he’s lost a lot of blood, maybe don’t-“

“Steeeeve Harrington.”

Steve smiled, while Robin looked, nervous? Huh?

“Okay, yes, you’re right! I’m Steve.”

“Stevewise, the Gardener.”

“Steve’s not-“

Steve interupted Robin.

“Yes, I do like to garden.”

Robin raised an eyebrow.

“You do?”

“Who do you think takes care of the plants at my house?”

“I don’t know, a gardener?”

“Yes, that would be me!”

“I meant a hired gardener! Your parents pay for scented toilet paper and fancy stinky cheeses! I didn’t know!”

“Any time, guys!” Dustin yelled from the ceiling hole.

“Tone, Merry!” Eddie spoke back.

Steve got close to Eddie’s face, sweeping his hair behind his neck.

“See, this is why I asked. You called him Mary. Do you know who that is?”

“That’s…Dustin.”

Thank God, Eddie was becoming more lucid.

The two of them hoisted Eddie up. Tying Eddie with the cable to the rope, Robin curiously asked, “And who am I?”

“Robin, the Fool of a Took, of course.”

“I don’t know how to take that.”

Nancy yelled this time. “I think I see an ambulance outside of the windows! Come on!”

An ambulance?! Why the fuck was an ambulance out there?

Steve decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Eddie needed medical attention, and fast.

Steve pointed up, even though Eddie was yet to open his eyes.

“And who was that?”

Something ugly and sad crossed Eddie’s face.

“Rosie.”

“And who is Rosie?”

The next words were not what he was expecting.

“Your wife.”

Not Nancy. Not your ex. Not “The girl I think you will marry.” No.

Your wife.

Robin and Dustin were silent. Nancy?

Mortified.

There was a time when Nancy appearing near dread at the idea of marrying Steve would have hurt him. Deeply. But that was a long time ago. Things changed. She would always be his first love.

But she was no longer going to be his last.

Locking eyes with her, Nancy’s shock and quiet panic melted into a surprised understanding.

Of course she was going to figure him out. If anyone was going to recognize a Steve in love and with a breaking heart, it would be Nancy Wheeler.

Nancy, doing her good friend Steve a solid squared her shoulders. As Steve pulled the rope, Nancy called up to a rising Eddie.

“Okay, let's get one thing straight. Stevewise isn't marrying Rosie. Or Violet, Petunia, ANY flower, okay? Nobody is marrying flowers, right Steve?”

Pulling harder, feeing the fibers in the cuts of his palms, he agreed.

“That’s right! Stevewise is not marrying Rosie. The only flowers he has are in his garden.”

Robin and Dustin were watching both he and Eddie closely.

Eddie? For obvious reasons.

But Steve? He knew it they were questioning why Steve and Nancy were making it official that they were not getting back together. He knew Dustin thought he was in love with Nancy. Robin too. She went as far as to tell Nancy that they were platonic with a capital P.

That was one of those important capital noun words.

And had he not had the nuggets talk with Nancy?

But now was not the time to tell his best friends that his ex just figured out that he liked guys, and he only wanted the one that nearly died on them.

With one final tug, Eddie Munson was through the portal.

And the rope broke.

[unsleepingtales]

Burrow’s End!!! I am so excited for this season and I’m also incredibly nervous because I think it’s going to emotionally destroy me. This is a long one.

(Also I am now living in gmt which means episodes drop at midnight for me, so I’m likely gonna wind up posting about them the next day)

Aabria!! Welcome back!!

I’m so thrilled that more and more players are doing character makeup it’s so fun

OH we’re just getting classes and subclasses out the gate ok

Hi Izzy hi Erika <3

I have not seen Jasper William Cartwright in anything ever but simply based on the look and the vibes I’m so excited about this

Siobhan <3

Ooooh two paladinssss

(This is excellent for me personally because I have been slowly convincing my boyfriend that paladins are actually really cool and I can now use his crush on BLeeM to my advantage)

They’re a family!

DOME ALREADY

I hope Beatrix is in some way a reference to Beatrix Potter <3

Siobhan IMMEDIATELY in goblin mode incredible

Wooo full stats love when they give us the full stats

First roll of the campaign is a 21! Good vibes!

Oh what stat array did they use I need to look at that

I so hope that the bizarre british things counter sticks around

Izzy playing a rogue is so delightful

We’re in pvp already and I am HERE for the chaos

Ok so their dad’s Dead. Fantastic. Sure hope this doesn’t emotionally affect me at alllll.

Cheating at what??

Ten minutes in and they already made their guardian/aunt/babysitter curse

Their physicality is great

I also love the info we’re getting about Tula before we’re introduced to her

Dome? Dome? DOME??

God the art department knocks it out of the fucking park every fucking time

Oh these are KIDS

I know I say this every season but I love First Episodes. I love meeting them and learning what the vibe is for the season and settling into the world.

They’re rolling so welllll

Oh that was a Good entrance

The voice!! Her voice!!

Oath of devotion paladin !

Everyone really wanted hats huh

oh h my god

Girl WHAT

I love Aabria snatching the small opportunities to hint at what will be bigger later

Now why can he do that

Viola doesn’t go anywhere alone!

Oh that’s so bad

Oh right their lifespan is super different!

This line had been spoiled for me by my dash but that did not make it hit less hard.

“It’s interesting to watch someone go from wanting to survive, to wanting to live.”

Erika playing the grandma is everything to me

Also Erika literally shaved their head in the pattern of that character scar. Incredible

A SINGLE MOM THAT WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS

Dropout team I love you so much

Brennan PC :)

Oh she’s SUCH a mother.

(Inquisitive music stops as the soft rejection hangs in the air)

CC writers are also back and on their game in full force!

Mmhmh

The first of all stoats 😭

She has cartoon anger eyebrows

Oh that’s gross

Did she just shade her dead son in law.

“I’ll try to keep up appearances” is so heartbreaking

YOU’RE LOOKING SO… LIKE YOU.

If I said that to my mom I would immediately dissolve.

Erika’s table acting is fabulous

Dome. Blue dome.

OOOOO

I love the multigenerational relationships here

No not a fanatic. A religious crazy!

Family dynamics.

Don’t threaten the children with emotional damage

The FACE

I feel like the roll for panic attack shirt is gonna make a comeback thanks to Thorn

Oh this is gonna make me feel real bad about being human huh

This is such a good season to be released over October-December. I know it was planned that way but I really appreciate it.

Straight Groucho 💀

“This is making me sad and scared” me too Brennan.

Baby girl has never known a thing in her whole life

Oh god oh fuck

His face

Ok things are being scaled down! Good to know

This is the second time Aabria’s had players use echolocation against her damn

I swear if he starts bleeding from his nose I’m gonna lose it

The CURTISES

The more she emphasizes that this is unnatural the more freaked I get

I am nervous for Jaysohn.

Oh no oh god

I love how Aabria is able to make nat ones still helpful and important

This is crushing ngl.

Is the tree gonna fucking get cut down

SHE HAS WERTHERS

I’m gonna cry this season I just know it

Oh my god this is so good.

[motheatenscarf]

Beat Heavensward!

It's getting harder and harder to stop and post my thoughts as I come across them because... idk, I'm in a bit of a funk. And also because I find myself more and more just mentioning these thoughts to my friends who are also playing through the same story as I am and we all appear to be enjoying it differently and are having lengthier discussions there and I wind up not having the energy to post it here.

So, I'm gonna make a few posts in a row based on some screenshots I'm going through!

My most recent/immediate impressions are as follows;

I REALLY liked Ysayle and I was sorry to see her die but I saw that one coming a mile away. Also, god forbid they have any interesting women in this game. Sigh.

Lucia, all my hopes are on you, don't die, and Alisaie, maybe don't grow up anytime soon, I don't think they'll kill a little girl but all of the interesting women are doomed :T

But yeah, Ysayle did nothing wrong, she had nothing to atone for, her death makes sense from a character perspective, I understand why she FELT like she had to make up for her mistakes, but she did nothing wrong and I liked her a lot and am sad she's gone. I wish the narrative acknowledged her passing as sorrowfully as it acknowledged Haurchefant's, but I also get why it didn't do that.

At least Estinien commented on her passing favorably.

And uh, yeah, lol, the Estinien thing getting overtaken by Nidhogg's fury thing kinda came out of left field. I know it was something that had been telegraphed, but I was talking with my friends moments before I watched him turn into a dragon and saying, "Yeah, I really thought there would be more of a thing with him struggling to control his rage, but I guess they had other things they wanted to focus on." And uh... then he transformed out of no where once he had the second eye of Nidhogg.

And rather than taking it seriously, I just made.... .SO MANY jokes about Estinien and his balls because it was a deeply unearned dramatic moment.

But yeah, I was coming around on Estinien, we'll miss him, oh well lol.

Speaking of coming around on characters, I DID, grudgingly, come around on Aymeric and it makes me so angry lol.

I really wanted to hate him because he was a cop, but he's a good dude. It's a fantasy story, we can ride dragons and there can be ONE good cop who is actually tragically idealistic and morally upstanding. And we have to protect him or Isghard is gonna stay in the dark ages forever. I really wish we could have seen him confront his father in the final showdown, but that's an old issue I have is making the WoL face enemies alone.

I liked Y'shtola's mentor as well, but she was there for 5 seconds and my favorite thing about her was her enchanted broom that quoted Mr. Sparkle (there are A LOT of good classic simpsons references in this game, the Fates especially Jesus Christ), and also she uhhhhhh didn't matter apparently. I hated that whole time wasting detour and the fact that Y'shtola is here and she is as unflappable and emotive as a fucking rock despite essentially getting a terminal diagnosis for her time in the lifestream. Just not a single emotion behind those dead, dull eyes.

Which, to me at least, speaks to the VAST improvement in the quality of writing that Y'shtola, the best character from ARR's scions, is notably the weakest element here. Alphinaud's gone through some great character development, Tataru is utilized well as an endearing element, and the new characters from Isghard are all of them genuinely interesting and compelling, even the cop whom it took me forever to come around on, I like Aymeric, I liked Estinien and Ysayle and Haurchefant. I LOVED the Dark Knight class story. The Paladin class story sucked, but even just regional questlines like the hunters in Tailfeather and the Vath and the dragons and the soldiers in cloudtop or Falcon's Nest or even the moogles in Moghome were all interesting!

Which is I think why I get so frustrated by the pacing sometimes is because it has all these fantastic elements if it would just give them the attention they deserve and not bounce around like crazy or handwave things that deserve time and focus.

It's fun and it's pretty good but it could be AMAZING if it would just fully commit to itself.

[jarael]

25 for a pairing of your choice?

For Elvithra, reaching the surface world was supposed to be a dream come true.

Unlike most drow, she did not look to the Spider Queen, Lolth, for guidance.  Her family were one of the few who followed Lolth's supposedly disgraced daughter, Eilistraee.  The Dark Maiden sought to guide the drow to peace with other species and a happy life, back on the surface.

Bizarrely, her parents had been unsure about Elvithra becoming one of Eilistraee's Paladins.  But the girl didn't budge, and eventually, she finished her training and took her oaths.  She would protect her fellow followers and, hopefully, bring their goddess’ dreams to fruition.

Of course, life had other plans.

All she could remember of that fateful day was a Lolthsworn raising their club above her, and she swore she'd dodged–

But she hadn't.  And she now had a tadpole in her brain, threatening to completely upend her life.

Tonight, however, Elvithra was going to pray.

As she stripped her clothes off, she wondered if this was considered unconventional by surface standards.  To Eilistraee's followers, nudity--not in the lewd sense; this was symbolic of openness and purity–and singing and dancing in the light of the moon was their prayer.  As a precaution, Elvithra had waited til the others were asleep or at least occupied. 

She began softly in drow.  “Gracious Dark Maiden, whose light outshines even the moon, guide us.”  She continued, her voice raising as her song began to carry on the wind.  Elvithra's body moved as she'd been taught as a child: smooth, fluid movements that had been passed down between the faithful. 

–

Back at the camp, Wyll's sleep was fitful and restless.  Too much on his mind, he thought, or maybe Mizora was playing mind games yet again.  Damn her, he thought.  You'd think she'd want me at full strength, which necessitates rest.  Of course, a cambion didn't care about logic, and the one who'd bound herself to the Blade of Frontiers was no exception. 

Wyll looked over to Elvithra's cot, and his heart skipped a beat when he found it empty.  He looked at the rest of camp, seeing the others fast asleep and no signs of struggle.  He got up, and scanned over her cot.  A few silver-white hairs shed, but nothing that had been yanked out.  So either she's sleepwalking, or the Absolute–

“Wyll?”

The Blade nearly jumped out of his skin, barely able to hold back the yelp that came through his throat.  He spun around to see Elvithra, in one piece and clothed, looking concerned.  “Ah, forgive me.  I wasn't able to sleep, and when I saw your cot was empty…”

“I fear ‘tis my own fault.  I should have warned you and the others.  But most of Eilistraee's worshippers pray under the light of the full moon, with song and dance.”

“Dance?”  Wyll had read small bits and pieces of the faith of the Dark Maiden, but Her followers weren't great on the surface.

“Oh, you know, prayer intertwined with dance.”  Elvithra set her boots down.  “It was taught to me when I was little.”

“I see.”  Wyll paused thoughtfully.  “May…may I see some of it?  I love dancing.”

Elvithra pondered his proposal.  She should be going to sleep, but…  “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Wyll followed her to a more quiet side of the camp, trying to avoid waking the others.  His gaze followed her, and admired how her silver-white hair shone under the moon.  She turned to face him, and put herself in a graceful starting position.  “I take it you know ballroom dancing?”

“I do, actually,” he admitted as he followed her example.

“Then this isn’t terribly different, mayhap not as neat or pretty.”  She began to move, similar to how she had before, her turquoise eyes occasionally darting Wyll’s way to make sure he was following her.

He was, of course.  How could he not?  Not everyone got the opportunity to dance like this, and Wyll loved to dance.  Elvithra being a beautiful drow only made it better.  Ah, how he’d missed this.  He had been wanting to ask her–

Suddenly, Elvithra’s ankle twisted, and she yelped, beginning to fall.  Wyll lunged forward, hurrying to catch her before she hit the ground.  He grabbed her arms shakily, and, in the adrenaline of the moment, let his lips graze the back of her head while steadying her.

Oops.

He began to raise her up, both of them panting.  “Are you alright?  Is your ankle fine?”

“Yes, I’m fine, Wyll.”  Elvithra patted the back of her head.  “Did…did you just kiss me?”

Wyll was not one to lie.  “I did, and I apologize for it.  It was just–”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I…didn’t have your consent to kiss you.”

He’s truly a gentleman, she thought.  “I do appreciate your respect.   We should head back.  ‘Tis getting late.  I’ll have Shadowheart check my ankle in the morning.”

The pair walked back to camp in silence, until Elvithra spoke up.  “Just so you know, the others haven’t danced with me yet.  I hope we can do this again sometime, Wyll.”  She flashed him a soft smile before laying down and bidding him good night.

So she wasn’t just being friendly, Wyll thought.  Then maybe my maneuver was correct.  He’d sleep on it and pursue his curiosity in the future.

[starrystar]

Part 6 Transcribed:

49

Bright leafy green background with gold veins

On the bright side, sour and tart things were great. 

SB: I am going to marry this pomegranate and have its weird little mythological babies.

After the second treatment my hair fell out. 

Since I’d already buzzed it short, I started shedding little half-inch hairs like a dog blowing its coat. 

That bit was pretty awful

Note: Half-inch hairs get in everything.

50

Minty and white background. 

I didn’t have a lot of hang-ups about my hair, but it looked so awful and patchy. I looked like a sic stranger in the mirror.

SB: I hate this.

MR: Then let’s fix it. 

My husband shaves his head.

He got out his spare razor and showed me how to shave mine. That helped. It looked like I’d made a regrettable fashion choice, not like I was sick. 

51

Purple and orange inkblot background. 

I still didn’t really look like myself in the mirror. 

SB: It’s fine. It’ll grow back. Just pretend you’re cosplaying Solas from Dragon Age. Wait, I hate solas . . . 

Oddly enough, if I put on a headwrap, I looked like me again. Brains are weird.

Regardless the treatment was working. 

Bob got smaller and squishier. Doctor pinkeye was thrilled. 

Note: Some percentage of Tumblr will now unfollow me for my anti-Solas sentiment. I understand this. 

52

Reddish, disturbingly meaty background. 

Eventually I had my thyroid biopsy. 

It wasn’t painful, but it was among the most viscerally uncomfortable experiences of my life.

The feel of a needle punching through muscle and gristle, right by where I keep my trachea and jugular, was horrifying.

Nope

Nope

Nope

DR: Nearly done…

SB: Hrrrgkk!

And then it came back negative.

SB: Hot damn!

Note: Honestly though, this biopsy was flat out awful in the weirdest oh good I’m made of meat way. 

53

Gray and speckled background

Even though it wasn’t that bad, by the last red devil treatment, I was starting to get a gnawing dread about going in for the infusion.

But that made no sense!

SB: I don’t get queasy during the infusions! My body can’t actually know they’re what’s causing me to feel terrible! Why do I feel scared of sitting in a comfy chair for three hours?!

NP: …I’ll just write “anxiety” here on your chart, ok?

I had a horrible fear that I was going to cry or freak out and disgrace myself in public.

The nurses would have been kind and understanding about it, too. Just knowing that made it worse. 

54

A slightly more reddish and kind of meaty background.

I was so annoyed with myself.

I was tough! 

And resilient!

And handling everything so well!

Except now I kinda wasn’t.

This wasn’t an unknown quantity anymore, so why was I scared? 

[note: these last words are askew and overlapping]

55

Dark blue and watery background.

SB: Right. Only one thing for it, then. 

I play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons. My favorite character to be was a brave, dim-witted, highly enthusiastic paladin named Rooster. He wouldn’t have minded chemo at all. He’d have been even happier if he could have thrown himself on a rogue IV for someone, then hit it with a broadsword. 

I was really good at being Rooster, even if I wasn’t always great at being me.

SB: Gonna channel Rooster. Gonna get through this. RN: How are you today?

SB: I’m here to smite cancer and chew gum!

RN: …o…k…

SB: Have you got any gum?

RN: I’ve got ensure?

56

Pink bubblegum background with some swirls

Astonishingly it sorta worked.

Every time my guts started to knot up, I imagined being lawful good and not very bright. 

I may be the first person in history to larp my way through chemo.

The last round wasn’t great.

Every time I got hungry I got queasy. 

I had to kinda pre-game meals by eating cheese and crackers fifteen minutes in advance. 

Really sharp cheddar still works. Thank god. 

Note: An online friend sent me a can of Cougar Gold cheddar, and if he ever needs a kidney, I will lurk in alleys with a scalpel and a bag of dry ice. 

57

Swirly Pepto Bismol pink ink background. 

I hated how tired I felt all the time. It was so hard to get any work done. SB: But your cells are working really hard!

SB: Maybe, but they’re not getting this book written.

I had two people in one week express astonishment that I was still working while getting chemo. Uh, yeah? My bills don’t go away just because I’ve got cancer.

I knew I was profoundly lucky to have a job I could do in bed if I had to. I tried to feel grateful enough about that. 

SB: I’m lucky I’m lucky I’m lucky

Other people have it so much worse. 

…somehow that does not make me feel better. 

For anyone wondering how treatment is going, it’s the Saga of Bob, Part Six!

The story so far…

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Half-inch hairs get in EVERYTHING.

Some percentage of Tumblr will now unfollow me for my anti-Solas sentiment. I understand this.

Honestly though, this biopsy was flat out awful in the weirdest oh good I’m made of meat way.

An online friend sent me a can of Cougar Gold cheddar, and if he ever needs a kidney, I will lurk in alleys with a scalpel and a bag of dry ice.

It’s not fun to live through, but the treatment is working really, really well, so that’s good news!

(Continued infinite gratitude to the transcribers!)

[retphienix]

So I'm about to circle back to where Cid was shot, turning in some more sub-quests on the way, and then just push to the ridge quest that was spoken of in that cutscene, but first I want to say a bit on my current team goals, SOME MORE RAMBLING ABOUT FFTA I'M SORRY AND PROMISE IT'S HONESTLY KINDA POSITIVELY TUNED KINDA WITH A LITTLE COMPLAINING I'M SORRY, and the bazaar system.

So Luso is kinda just going forward blindly, I won't lie. He unlocked Paladin and I went with it, so he's kinda just doing his own thing for a bit and being a beefy tank.

I don't have a "ton" of Paladin equipment just yet, but that's a universal issue for most classes this early on, and is only reason 366 of the 10k reasons the "Learn skills from equipment" system is stupid and bad and every RPG that does it is wrong, so let's just consider that a given lol

Thus far he can pretty much just attempt to fear a nearby enemy into fleeing which is neat but not something I'll ever use, and he just gained access to a self-heal (which is literally just first-aid again, FFTA why do you test me so much).

Pretty bare bones, but hey, I'm doing my best to use the system to make my team each unique which is taking a lot of self control to not try and learn every available skill, because I wager a good amount of why I found the job system so unpleasant in FFTA is because I tried to learn all the skills across my team, which revealed that the races all had facsimiles of each others jobs, which made the glitz and glamor of having so many options feel a lot more homogenized than it even actually was.

While it's fun and rewarding to master jobs in FFT, it was a drag doing so in FFTA, so I wager I simply played incorrectly and would have enjoyed myself more if I didn't.

It also meant I didn't use fun equipment like ever. I bet I could have more fun in FFTA today if I gave it a better swing of things, but tbh, I don't really want to because I did find the game just... not pleasant beyond that. I digress.

FFTA2 has "basically" the same skill list as FFTA if the wiki is to be believed, but I spent a great deal of FFTA leveling classes for different races that thematically presented themselves differently but were actually the same~

(resulting in things like me getting increasingly annoyed that both me and my foes were using variants of the same Blitz, Feather strike, Take Aim and Beatdown skills, or the multiple classes with "This move just ignores reaction abilities and this is for some reason multiple classes signature skill", or how many classes had "Do a small amount of damage and have a chance to proc 1 status" moves for practically the entire game. There is simultaneously a LOT of overlap in the skills for the tactics advance games and honestly a good amount of originality too- but oh boy did the overlap stand out to me in FFTA)

~whereas my plan in this one is to pick end-points and work towards them on each character- thus- hopefully- avoiding said overlap-

AS I SAID, I DIGRESS lol I'm simultaneously trying to accept that I was too harsh on FFTA for not being FFT, while admitting fully that I just Did Not enjoy my time with FFTA REGARDLESS of that bias- and juggling the "I have genuine complaints!" and "I was FAR too harsh!" factoids is becoming a struggle. I feel like I can't admit one without the other being hypocritical but both are true! AH!

FFTA2! So my plan is to ignore learning all the skills, ignore buying garbage items just to master class abilities, ignore ignore ignore! NO COMPLETIONIST MINDSET!

And I'm hoping by doing so I will get to explore more interesting class dynamics and, you know, have fun. A bit optimistic- which is in part because the rest of FFTA2 is like 10x more interesting and fun to me than the FFTA equivalents (story, characters, mechanics) so I'm finding it easier to adjust MY part in what made me dislike FFTA since FFTA2 is doing a lot to adjust ITS part in what made me dislike FFTA.

Still not a fan of the ability design leaning so heavily on "Lower damage to raise accuracy / Lower accuracy to raise damage / Lower damage to add 1 status / Multiple classes have this ability for some reason" being like a third of the skills. But I understand FFTA2 copying most of the same moveset from FFTA since they are directly connected and what not. It's fine. I'll accept it. (It's still dumb, just make better skills and stop giving so many classes the same skills, it's that easy). *cough*

Funnily enough though, I was bothered by the overlap very early into FFTA, but I'm not really hitting the same equipment walls in this one, outside of like, Shieldbearer, which is fine. Perhaps they juggled the equipment accessibility a bit to make it less obvious because the wiki claims the same skills that annoyed me are here-

I was getting annoyed with the "lower acc raise att" "lower att raise acc" moves VERY early into my playthrough of FFTA, and yet none of my party members know those moves yet. Instead the first skills I learned were like Power Rend, basic magic, Focus- and I think the only overlap I have is like shieldbearer and first aid. I think they paid more attention to what skills are slapped on what equipment and what race/class can equip which things so that you don't just turn on the game and have 8 characters with different jobs but the same skills.

That's smart, I like that.

My mage has a goal in mind for instance :P

I'm aiming to make them into a Sage just because tbh. Sounded fun.

My Red Mage is honestly following Luso's example tbh. I WANT to make a summoner, but Red Mage is so much more directly helpful right now, so I'm ignoring leveling the pre-requisite job for now and just leaving her as a stable and stand-out member of the team instead.

Micah has actually reached what I wanted to check with him, and that's Hunter. I know having someone with stable physical range attacks is always a good thing and I figured instead of going the obvious and aiming for a sniper, I'd grab a hunter instead and see what they are about.

I'll be honest, if summoner doesn't pan out for Patrice it's likely she'll end up a sniper because that's just how it goes.

I feel like by the end game I had a tinker in FFTA... maybe that wasn't even a class there and I'm crazy, but I want one. It sounds like guns. I want that.

Moreover I wanted to point at all this because the bazaar system is giving me a lot of ability options a lot faster than I recall FFTA ever doing, it's honestly almost too much lol

Like I'm effectively seconds into the game, in my opinion, and yet I have options like "ATAMOS BLADE" "PREDATOR" The rod that summons IFRIT- like I feel like I didn't get interesting items into mid to late game in FFTA and, again, I never really got to use them. But here, I did some side quests and it's like "BAM" here's a weapon with an ability on it and decent stats, have fun.

I mean, unlike FFTA, I don't "Have" them. They are for sale and are often quite a penny to get, but it's neat to see.

It's, maybe, a little, tiny bit, overboard lol

I feel like I should be getting Long Swords to replace my Broadswords and instead I'm upgrading from iron daggers to SCRAMASAX, LEGENDARY DAGGER OF THE DEEP or whatever.

It's weird. I am enjoying myself and it's kind of working in the game's favor, but it IS weird lol

[nukacoola]

Companions react to Danse stepping out of power armor for the first time!

Cait: 

She would look Danse up and down very obviously and grin which would make him extremely uncomfortable. 

“Ya’outgha get out of that thing more often Dansey. Who knew there were cookies in that tin can of yours.”

She obviously isn’t actually interested in Danse. Way too boring. But she’s not one to toss out eye candy just cause it isn’t her favorite flavor. She wouldn’t actively follow him but for fun and also to get on his nerves she would definitely cat-call him everytime he was in hearing range. Deacon and Hancock might join in for a few comments if they don’t have anything better to do.

She would not stop unless sole made a convincing plea or reason for why she should and maybe not even then.

Danse would not respond or look at Cait but he would be very red and never get out of his suit in front of her again.

Codsworth: 

“Why Paladin Danse I dare say you’ve been keeping up your workout routine! Cheers to your excellent health whether in or out of your power armor!” Codsworth is reassured that his owner is traveling with someone so equipped for the struggles of the wasteland.

“Uh, thank you, Codsworth.” Danse would feel a bit awkward but he would appreciate the compliment. 

“Might I polish that for you while you're otherwise engaged? It seems to be in a just dreadful state and I would like nothing more than for you to be looking your best in your wasteland escapades!” Though he is reassured by Danse’s physical state and abilities, he is mortified by the state his armor is in. All the scratches, dings, and dirt? It’s just horrible. Codsworth has always wanted an opportunity to fix that suit up and is pretty happy that the day has finally arrived.

“I- If you’d like to you can.”

“Oh good! I do so love a difficult task!” With that Codsworth would zoom away to procure the necessary supplies to return Danse’s armor to it’s original state. Danse didn’t really know whether or not he should be offended at the robot’s comments but he decided to just continue about his business and not think about it too much. 

Curie:

“Oh Monsieur Danse, you are quite zee lovely specimen! I would be eager to do a physical examination if you would allow me to.” Ever since leaving the vault, Curie has been astounded at how many different sorts of humans there are. Danse is particularly interesting to her because of the amazing athletic feats he does so regularly. She is also interested in studying the effects of constant power armor usage on the human body. When she sees him step out of his suit for the first time and sees his overly muscular physique, it just tacks on another reason she wants to study him. 

Before Blind Betrayal:

“The only specimen that needs examining is you, synth. Don’t talk to me unless you’re submitting yourself to the Brotherhood.” The only reason Curie isn’t already on the Prydwen is because Sole thinks it’s their friend. It bothers Danse immensely that Sole hasn’t destroyed or used this inhuman thing already.

(Don’t get mad at me he literally says this in game.)

Curie is very hurt, she expected this reaction but it still hurt. She was still getting used to feelings such as the pained ones she felt in moments like these.

After Blind Betrayal:

“No. Thank you.” Danse’s words were strained. Being around Curie was pretty awful for him. He had treated her so terribly before and he still had strong feelings of disgust towards her despite what he knows now. Everytime he sees her and has those feelings of hate and disgust, he remembers that he and Curie are the same. He’s still struggling to overcome the years of propaganda that were drilled into him. 

Curie is disappointed. Did Danse not see they are the same? If he didn’t believe in her humanity then he would have to not believe in his own. It is very confusing for Curie. She hopes that he will eventually go back on his denial of her offer. He would be a very interesting specimen.

Deacon:

He would be surprised that Danse would be able to wear that clunky thing so much in the first place. He wouldn’t be surprised at how muscular he is under the suit though. It takes a lot of strength to operate those suits. He’d read that before they were fully developed, a lot of trial runs had resulted in really terrible accidents. The kind of accidents that crush all of your bones at once or remove your top half from your bottom.

Deacon would definitely make a few jokes. “Hey the sardine’s outta the can!” “Isn’t getting out of that bulldozer against Brotherhood policy or something?” “And I thought it was glued on! Learn something new everyday.”

Danse would scowl at his comments but say nothing. He did not like Deacon one bit. That man’s hiding something and if it turns out what he’s hiding will harm Sole or the Brotherhood’s mission, there was gonna be hell to pay. Danse could’ve sworn he’d seen him on the Prydwen a few times but whenever he looked back again to check, he was gone. Danse didn’t much like the idea of leaving his power armor alone with Deacon around but Sole assured him he’s harmless. We’ll see...

Whenever Danse returned to his suit Deacon would stand suspiciously close to it and act like he was trying to play cool after almost being caught doing something nefarious. He would never get tired of watching Danse carefully inspect every part of the armor before apprehensively getting in. Man that guy’s fun to mess with.

Dogmeat: 

He was so surprised! He thought this human was just made of metal! But now Dogmeat can play and jump and lick! Yes!!

Danse has no idea how to deal with a dog he wasn’t allowed to kick so he would just try to awkwardly push the pup off until Sole took care of it.

Hancock: 

Oh HELL YES! Hancock has wanted to punch this fucker since he first laid eyes on him. “HEY SOLDIER BOY, TIME TO SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO OUT OF YOUR DAMN COWARD COFFIN!” He would make a beeline towards the paladin and the paladin would speed walk towards the ghoul as well. Sole barely let him insult the damn freak but this was a direct attack of which he was most definitely gonna defend himself from.

Sole would freak out a bit and try to get in between the two. They would both try to get Sole out of the way so they could pummel each other. A brief alliance in order to facilitate their battle. This was too sweet of an opportunity to miss. 

“Sorry Sunshine, this is happening.”

“Sole, it has directly started an altercation with me and I intend to see it through.”

If they both had a great relationship with Sole after a bit of panicked begging to both parties, the men would begrudgingly back off. They would, however, insult each other viciously despite Sole’s protests. 

“You have no fucking idea how lucky you are meathead. I swear to god if they weren’t here…”

“You call me a meathead but you’re the one who’s rotting, ghoul.”

They would continue to jab each other until Sole dragged Danse off to do what he got out of his suit to do in the first place. 

If one or both of them didn’t have a close relationship with Sole, well, it wouldn’t be pretty. They would forcibly move Sole out of the way and fight for a while. Though Danse is much bigger than Hancock, Hancock is quicker and better at hand to hand. Danse, being unused to fighting outside of his armor, was ultimately unable to beat the ghoul. Hancock landed one final blow to his face, knocking Danse flat. When he stayed down Hancock laughed loudly and spit at him.

“Done in by the best, lucky you.” It would be a huge blow to Danse’s ego and he’d resent Hancock even more now. Hancock would gloat constantly when Danse was around. “Heyyy, there’s my favorite punching bag!” “Come on over Dansey I won’t bite!” He wouldn’t out of shame, but if Danse ever did try to retort, Hancock would just taunt him. Saying something like “Oh yeah? Ya know my favorite way to settle conflicts is by beating the other asshole into the dirt. Hop outta that suit and we can go for round two.”

MacCready:

Mac’s always thought of Danse as an annoying asshole. He still thinks of him this way but when he stepped out of that armor for the first time. Ho lee sh-crap. MacCready might have to look into joining the Brotherhood if the rest of those guys looked the same as Danse. He had expected him to be strong cause of the whole carrying 500 pounds of steel everywhere but his body was something Mac was not expecting and something he could look at for a while. 

If Danse came near the merc he would probably clam up and blush a bit. If Danse caught him staring, he would annoyedly ask, “Is there a problem, civilian?”

“I- uh no.” any other day he would’ve fired back some snide remark but he couldn’t quite seem to think of one right now. 

Nick:

Nick really couldn’t give less of a damn. He hated Danse, Danse hated him, and the two did their best to ignore each other. 

Piper: Piper didn’t really care either. Sure he was muscular but she was very turned off by the everything else about him. All she really payed attention to was the possibility of an exclusive interview or an inside look at the Brotherhood’s workings. Danse would never agree to either of those though. Preston: Preston didn’t care. He already knew you had to be strong to wear power armor especially if you wore them as much as Brotherhood Paladins did. He didn’t like the Brotherhood and by extension, he didn’t trust Danse. Preston was mannerly of course, for Sole, but he knows Danse thinks very little of the Minutemen so he didn’t try too hard to be kind. Strong: Strong thinks this is good time to smash strong human. He has killed many brothers but he wears metal suit. He is weak without metal suit. Human friend tells Strong that if Strong smash, Strong will not find milk of human kindness. Strong angry, Strong want to smash, but Strong not smash.

Danse would never get out of his suit near Strong unless he absolutely had to. Sole insisted that the abomination wasn’t going to be a problem but he didn’t believe it for a second. It took all of his willpower to not open fire on the thing whenever he saw it. Sole has poor taste in companions...

X6:

X6 wouldn’t care. He would consider taking this opportunity to get rid of the high ranking Brotherhood soldier, but it would make Sole upset and would do relatively little to the Brotherhood as a whole. 

Ask and ye shall recieve! I decide the winner on Hancock’s one by their special stats. How the hell does Hancock have such good stats and he’s still terrible in a fight??

[tigerkirby215]

Ranking all the Ranger subclasses (D&D 5e)

(Artwork by Terence “Terrylefruit" Cantal. Made for Riot Games.)

This is a repost of a Reddit comment I made a little bit ago to a thread talking about Rangers. I felt like I made a decent enough writeup to post it here on this Tumblr.

I’ve got exams for my summer courses to study for which is why builds have been slow, but I do have a few ideas in the pipeline for what to build. For now enjoy my quick-ish thoughts on every Ranger.

Beast Master

Don't play Beast Master without Tasha's rules. Just don't.

Post-Tasha's it's an alright pet subclass. Your companion can do good damage, with the Land companion being able to knock people prone and the Sky one being able to survive with Flyby. The thing is that Ranger has better sources of Bonus Action damage and the main reason to have a companion really is to divert some attacks, which is where the problem with Beast Master comes in. The Sky companion won't get hit if you're not stupid but it's really not that great overall, and the Land companion is pretty much objectively worse than the Drakewarden companion (discussed later.)

Add in the need for Wisdom and you have a meh subclass overall even after Tasha's "buffed" it. It does what its built for now (which is a far cry from how it was in the PHB), and if you want to play that sort of character it's perfectly fine. But I absolutely wouldn't go out of my way to play one outside of a very specific build.

1/10 Pre-Tasha’s, 7/10 Post-Tasha’s

Drakewarden

Beast Master's younger, cooler brother. Let's just go down the point-form list of why Drakewarden is pretty much objectively better than Beast Master:

Drake actually does decent damage (2d6 + PB, assuming you can use the Drake's reaction every turn which you should. Even if you can't you can have it try an opportunity attack.)

Drake actually has decent armor / selectable resistances (14 + PB fuck you +1 over Beast Master lmao)

Drake's damage scales midway decently (IE you don't have to wait until level fucking 11 for more damage although the Drake does have the problem that its initial d6 + PB bite is always non-magical RAW)

Drake gives you resistances

You can use the Drake as a mount if you're Medium sized (it comes online slower than a Paladin's Find Steed spell but...)

Oh and the thing can fly at level 7 (but not when you're riding it.) It won't have Flyby but it can still maneuver around well.

You (and your Drake) get a Breath Weapon that does Fireball damage; that's pretty cool. I know you get it at level 11 but Fireball on any class is still Fireball.

Having a Flying mount by level 15 that also basically has Warding Bond cast on it is also a better capstone than "Zephyr Strike affects your pet" don't @ me.

Excluding the fact that "I don't always want to play a character with a dragon companion that breathes fire" Drakewarden is pretty much objectively better than Beast Master, at least in my eyes. 

8/10

Fey Wanderer

Fey Wanderer similarly suffers from the "you have to have a specific character in mind" problem. With that being said I'm playing this subclass currently and lmao it's kinda busted. Damn good innate spell list, ability to do extra damage (it rewards spreading damage out but tbh with Sharpshooter it's not a bad idea)...

Otherworldly Glamour is just dumb. Do you like having Persuasion checks higher than the Bard's Expertise? Get +2 or +3 in Charisma before taking this class and enjoy your +7 Persuasion checks it's silly.

Beguiling Twist can really augment a charm-based team if you don't mind blowing your reaction constantly. There's a lot of neat ways to use this ability and it rewards creativity imo.

Fey Reinforcements is freaking insane for action economy. Summon Fey is an incredibly good summon and being able to cast it (at any level!) and also cast Hunter's Mark is such an insane boost to DPS. No joke taking 11 (or more like 12) levels in Fey Wanderer just to take the rest in Cleric / Druid for higher level spell slots is insane value.

And Misty Wanderer is... alright. Misty Step is a good spell and you can keep your allies safe, but the real capstone is at level 11 not 15.

9/10

Gloom Stalker

What is there to say other than "it's Rogue with spells and Extra Attack instead of Sneak Attack." Well Umbral Sight is objectively broken; just full-stop. Being essentially permanently invisible can be really unfair and a DM either has to make monsters play stupid or play needlessly smart just to get around this ability in certain areas.

Umbral Sight is unironically what carries Gloom Stalker until level 11 (although Dread Ambusher is certainly not bad and who doesn't like a Saving Throw proficiency?) Stalker’s Flurry and Shadowy Dodge are both incredibly good insurance of your damage output and survivability. The only criticism I have for Gloomstalker (other than the fact that Umbral Sight is objectively overpowered and you'll be accused of being a powergamer) is that it's kinda boring sometimes. It feels a little too much like you're playing a Rogue with spells and Extra Attack instead of a proper "Ranger" I guess. 

9/10 possibly even a 9.5/10

Horizon Walker

The problems start and end with Planar Warrior. It takes your Bonus Action (annoying but not game-ruining) but it also has a 30 foot range limit for some reason? Some people say that this subclass "rewards a melee Ranger" but melee Ranger is trash (take it from a guy who played a Chinese Knockoff Paladin by making a Strength-based Horizon Walker with a Greatsword.) Talk to your DM about removing the range limit on Planar Warrior and this subclass becomes a lot of fun, because it's legit my favorite subclass despite that one flaw.

Ethereal Step has crazy utility, Distant Strike is just good (in general), and Spectral Defense... eh well it's basically just Shadowy Dodge from Gloom Stalker. Not to mention that the innate spell list is very good (although perhaps a little Concentration heavy.) Again the problems with this subclass start and end at Planar Warrior and if your DM allows you to fix that one problem then it's good.

6/10

Hunter

Pack Tactic's video explains the subclass better than I ever could.

The tl;dr is that it's outdated and could easily be made good by giving it an innate spell list or a few more features.

At level 3 Colossus Slayer is your best bet, although Horde Breaker can be really cool. Giant Killer is a trap don't take it too many conditions to play melee Ranger which is bad.

At level 7 Multiattack Defense is your best bet by far. Escape the Horde is a trap; just take the Disengage action or the Mobile feat (or just don't move near enemies pepega.)

Volley is objectively better than Whirlwind Attack because WWA requires you to get surrounded which is never a good move. WWA could use a rework to make melee Ranger more viable :p

At level 15 Evasion is your best bet by a country mile. Stand Against the Tide is bad even by "melee Ranger bad" standards Uncanny Dodge would be better for a melee Ranger (and would still be bad lmao.)

Yes this Ranger does get Rogue level 7 features at level 15. Doesn't make it a bad subclass; again it's simply outdated.

7/10

Monster Slayer

Do yourself a favor and just don't. The best summary I've heard of Monster Slayer is that "it makes you feel like Batman in the Justice League in the sense that your friends will have super powers and all you'll have are a bunch of dinky gadgets."

Hunter’s Sense is alright shouldn't cost an action. Slayer’s Prey is objectively worse than Hunter's Mark... shame your entire freaking subclass is built around this feature. :)

Supernatural Defense is... passable. Not good not bad can be good against specific enemies I guess? Magic-User’s Nemesis sucks because your Wisdom isn't going to be high enough for this to be remotely difficult, especially since most casters have high Wisdom scores.

Slayer’s Counter is mediocre at best. Again only good against casters. This entire subclass is weirdly tailored to deal with casters who don't show up frequently enough to make this subclass worth it. Even if you're fighting against casters a Barbarian with the Mage Slayer feat is better at locking down squishy Wizards.

3/10

Swarmkeeper

It's an odd duck, because it simultaneously has a lot of abilities that offer tons of flexibility but collectively feel like they're very underwhelming overall. Let's address them one by one:

Using Gathered Swarm for extra damage is nice but it's worse than Hunter Ranger.

Moving enemies around is nice but it's a Strength save against your Wisdom, which won't be too high as a Ranger. You can do it every turn though?

Free movement is nice but yeesh you're only moving 5 feet?

Mage Hand is nice. Faerie Fire and Web are nice. All your other spells are mediocre at best but hey they're high level you won't get to use them anyways.

Writhing Tide is just bad for the sake of being bad I have no idea why WoTC thought giving the Ranger a flying speed higher than 10 feet would be broken.

Mighty Swarm makes your meh Gathered Swarm ability slightly less meh. Knocking enemies prone is okay if you have melee allies but it screws over your ranged allies, and getting Half Cover is nice but not exactly game-defining. (If you need cover just run behind a wall you should have a bow.)

Swarming Dispersal is cool but it should be gained way earlier imo. The fact that it's limited is icing on the "meh" cake. This entire subclass radiates "it's cool but why am I playing this" energy: I don't know what to do with the in-built flavor and the abilities don't really cater to any unique idea. This subclass ironically feels like "Hunter Ranger 2" since it's so vanilla.

5/10 maybe 5.5 if I'm being generous

[gascon-en-exil]

Since you completed the game, would you say FE16's Holy Knights are support units or more combat oriented units? To this day I still don't know what they are supposed to be.

Holy knights make me sad. I was so excited to see Three Houses bringing back pseudo-Catholic classes after Fates had dropped them for the first time ever in the series...but as is usually the case they're all pretty underwhelming. Holy knights in particular are supposed to be combat units, being the only class to get White Tomefaire which only affects offensive white magic, but because that kind of magic is so scarce aside from the mediocre Nosferatu and because it's mostly not all that great even when characters do have it the class falls apart in practice. Bishops are better healers, they and gremories do utility magic better with doubled white magic uses, and for mounted magical offense dark fliers, dark knights, and even valkyries offer much more. Holy knights are just...forgettable. At least people meme on mortal savants for unexpectedly sucking and complain about the convoluted certification requirements of great knight.

The question then follows: how to fix holy knights? Because of my aforementioned love for pseudo-Catholic classes, I've given this a fair amount of thought. Some ideas:

Replace Terrain Resistance with Seraphim as a class spell (doubled uses for those who learn it naturally) - Seraphim is all things considered the best of the offensive faith spells, and this would let the class lean into a specific monster-slaying role that fits the class flavor pretty well.

Invert the lance and faith requirements, and replace Terrain Resistance with Lancefaire - This would accomplish two goals, giving holy knight more to distinguish itself from dark knight and offering paladin a more organic master class follow-up than bow knight is in the actual game. I like this one less since it's just admitting that offensive white magic mostly sucks and that holy knight would be better off as a primarily physical class that can throw out a few weak heals and Nosferatus and such every now and then. It would make the class more like mortal savant, trading the benefits of a mount for a weaker offensive magic type.

Make White Tomefaire more useful - I'm thinking adding +5 HP to healing spells and a small range increase (+1 or +2 at the most) to utility spells. Bishop will still have bigger healing numbers, but 3 extra movement + Canto will be a very enticing trade-off, and there might be some odd niche situations where having just a little bit more range on Warp or Rescue could make all the difference. Of course this would apply to characters who S+ faith and get White Tomefaire that way as well, but unless you play 100% like I do who's realistically going to ever do that except Lysithea, and maybe not even her?

Any one of those would have made holy knight much more workable and even potentially good in some cases. My incredibly biased self would have loved to have seen the first and third options done together. Oh well - at least the class looks pretty.

[aethuviel]

Now it’s a year to the day since I first found Gelebor in Darkfall Cave (I know, I’m late, got Skyrim in December 2015 and Dawnguard in 2020), and oh my.

I did know about him before, but used to stick my fingers in my ears and go *LALALALALA* every time Snow Elves came up, because spoilers.

All I knew about the Dawnguard questline was bla bla vampires bla bla go find Auri-El’s bow bla bla Snow Elves bla bla oh one of them is named Knight-Paladin Gelebor (and he has fluffy hair). That was it.

He was actually half the reason I purchased Dawnguard in the end. One, so many mods require DG, two, I wanted to meet the Snow Elf/ves. (I didn’t know if there were more. Some screenshots online may have confused me into thinking there were three; Gelebor and two allies, but I did not know about Vyrthur.)

I was surprised when I found him so quickly in the cave, and in the meeting (which I recorded in a screenshot video), I had to stop and take a break like “okay, breathe” while walking up because I had waited so long for this. XD

I went on his quest and finished it the next day, and my gods, I had never been so awed by a game before. Not because the writing is so amazing (it isn’t), but because of the Vale, what we learned of the Snow Elves, and Gelebor.

What to say? His story, his optimism, his kindness and politeness, his goshdamn sexy voice (no but seriously, what I wrote in my notes a few days later was that I could have him read intricate mudcrab anatomy to me for ten hours and I would listen to it all).

When I posted my drawing a few weeks later, I said I never had any real favorite characters in games before, even in Skyrim (though to be frank I play very few games that have characters), but Gelebor was so sweet, polite, regal and charming, he gets all top 10 spots.

I have to wonder how he managed to charm his way into so many people in only some ten minutes of actual “screentime”.

I have had two characters previously that I really got deep into, in my own life, so to say. They were Anakin (Skywalker) in my Star Wars phase of 2005-2018, and Qualin, my Dunmer I was playing late 2019-early 2021 (and will probably start over from scratch again). They are both rather... negative personalities.

If you’re not into Star Wars, I can just say Anakin is a lovable mess of anger issues, anxiety, angst, pride, confusion, and not a little sass. Qualin is entirely my character, but in general, he ended up being the Choleric-Melancholic temperament type, and “true neutral” alignment (meaning neither chaotic nor lawful, neither truly good nor truly evil), with a dark past (and dark future), based a lot on myself (but altered to fit a 79 year old male Dunmer assassin).

So I had these two rather negative personalities to wallow in and absorb. Now instead, I found Gelebor, who is the complete opposite of all that.

I’m going to sound like a total fangirl now (because I absolutely am not, obviously), but he is light, he is compassion, he is kindness, purity, peace, and optimism.

From my notes a year ago, translated:

I extrapolate a great deal in the story I am working on, but from what I’ve seen, he is (of course) enormously old (4000+ years), extremely religious (he lives only for his god), peaceful, calm, and with a good attitude - I imagine him with a constant smile on his lips, who has found peace with the horrible fate his people faced, he has found peace with all the evil he has seen and been victim of, he has found peace with being possibly the last of his kind, or he would have been driven completely mad from hate and grief over the millennia. I imagine him as tranquility itself, who smiles a lot, especially when he has company (he is friendly and helpful to everyone he meets and the game mechanics were made so that he was impossible to provoke), but who is also dignified and difficult to tempt to laughter.

Very, very different from me, as well. I am chaotic, full of humor, rough language and undignified behaviors (not by modern standards, but by those standards...), with a history of depression and outbursts.

I may be spilling too much, but when I started last year to imagine his backstory and (more important) future, I found myself stopping what I was doing at random times, standing still a lot with a smile that went all the way up to my eyes, almost constantly. That is what I do when I absorb him.

“What would Gelebor do?” is a good saying to take along.

Yes, I am absolutely putting him on a pedestal.

I keep writing on his future- and backstory, more or less fleshed out (sometimes full scenes and dialogue, sometimes only summaries), but it’s my headcanon up until his death.

Credit and source, big image Credit and source, middle in far right row The middle screenshot is not mine, can’t find the source but anyway, it’s a screenshot. :p Sorry for borrowing art but they’re so awesome and such beautiful representations of Gelebor that I couldn’t help it.

[thevoilinauttheory]

The Great Eight

[ In lieu of the Rising event ending tomorrow - and myself, just now finishing it - I had some words I wanted to get out.

I get this type of nostalgia - it hurts, it physically hurts my chest; I feel sick to my stomach, and I just want to cry. I’ve asked others if they ever feel this way, but I’ve never gotten a yes to it.

The Rising always gives me this feeling. It’s be eight years since I first picked up XIV. Eight whole years. That’s a slap to the face, it’s been so long and it feels so short. I wish I could give people the same experiences and feeling I had for this game - the pain and happiness this nostalgia brings me. When I say this game means so much to me, it’s not an exaggeration. This game changed my life - I wish to share it a little bit with you. I touched on some of it in the past, but here I’m laying it all out. ]

[ I first started playing in 2013, when a friend recommended the game to me shortly after the game’s rerelease. They were ecstatic to have another player join them, and I owe them a lot for the experiences they gave me. My very first character was Raramlah Ramlah - she was a paladin, because that’s what I mained in WoW. I realized shortly that a tank probably wasn’t the best way to go, but also that my computer at the time couldn’t handle playing it, due to the graphics.

I gave it another shot in 2014, that’s when I made Danny Harold. He was the first character I ever got to level 50. I absolutely loved the game, when I wasn’t sitting idly for my friends to come online as I had with Raramlah; when I picked it up of my own accord. I remember I was in the hospital when I first picked it back up, when I first made him and leveled him through Gridania. But I was still going intermittedly between it and WoW. I missed the first Rising due to ignorance.

2015 comes around, and I’m in a stressful place. I just started a new job, and I’m finally able to live on my own with little issues from my disabilites. However, my apartment complex didn’t have internet, and so I’d take my laptop to Starbucks and sit there until they closed playing WoW instead. I wanted to spend what little time I had on the internet with the friends I already had grown close to.  Year 2 went on without me. But it still wasn’t all bad. Near the end of 2015, Maximiloix Voilinaut was created - and when I started up my XIV tumblr account under “ishgardianscholar”. See, I had made it to Heavensward on Danny when I found out that someone I had met through a friend was starting up a new character for the purpose of RP. I thought to myself “I want an Ishgardian character” - and rolled a new one. It was a new adventure, a clean slate, with a couple of friends I knew from WoW to join me.

Here comes 2016... and WoW had let me down. My disabilites came back full force, and I was left bed bound and reliant on partial disability from my workplace while waiting for SSDI to start kicking into effect. My roommates did little to help take care of the house we were renting, lied to me about their incomes, and forced me to use what little money I was getting to pay for everything myself. I’m short a total of 2000$ because of it. But. But. That was the best year of my fucking life. It ruined me, that year ruined my life, but it was the happiest I had ever been. Lothaire Voilinaut was first conceived and Maximiloix became my pride and joy as a character, I found the class I wanted to keep playing - I made friends, so many of them! So, so many of them! And I loved them, and I still do! I miss them terribly. If I could relive one year of my life... it would be that year. What I would give just to feel that way again - because I had never felt it since. I didn’t realize until Year 3′s Rising came around, how nostalgic just the few short times and experiences were to me. Because I was met with two things... the first song that truly captured me in Final Fantasy games (Prelude), and the first song I ever heard in the game itself (A New Hope). I cried there. Music has always hit me so hard, and I never realized just how much this game meant to me until then. This was how I knew I would stay - that XIV had my heart for good.

2017, during the release of Stormblood, I went homeless. I had wanted so badly to see my first expansion release - and only witnessed second hand “Raubahn EX”. My friends moved on without me, and I was left alone again to start playing. But I told myself already. XIV had my heart, there was no reason to go back to WoW. So I didn’t. I didn’t, and I don’t regret it. This is when I truly started playing Lothaire fully - and when I met my spouse, he became my main. I made it to Year 4, and cried just as much.

2018 - with the loss of friends, did I find new ones. It wasn’t the best time of my life, but I wouldn’t trade the memories for a thing. Year 5 came and went faster than I could blink, but that was it. I heard the music, I remembered my first Rising, I remembered all the times I had before. And I cried.

2019 started off rough. I moved across the country and had a hard time finding a place to live. I got it down, started a new job... and made it to the release of Shadowbringers. I had grown so much since I first started - and the expansion release was everything I wanted it to be, regardless of the issues that came with it (though I’ve been told that it was a far smoother release than the others). I was so excited... and I was not let down. XIV upheld its standards and presented to me a game worthy of pushing onto my friends no matter how annoyed they got with me about it (looking at you @rose-color-boy). Everything about it was a pure masterpiece, people think I’m exaggerating. But this game had done so much for me, that finally, now, I got to witness something I always wanted to. Sure, I didn’t have many friends to start the expansion with... but the story captivated me immediately. Year 6... and I cried.

2020. There wasn’t much to say about it, I was stuck inside all year and I hit a bad patch during the end of it, but... Year 7. It hit me like a truck. It gave me goosebumps, it gave me laughs, and ultimately, it gave me tears. I actually sobbed, this time. Remembering everything I gone through hurt me so badly, the nostalgia was coming in hard. But I knew, in the end, this game would always be here for me. This game had wormed its way into my heart accidentally, and yet I feel like I couldn’t live without it.

This year. Perhaps it didn’t hit me as hard - I still cried. This game means so much to me. So, so much. It hurts, it really and physically hurts how much it means to me. This game made everything in my stressful life so much easier, littered the pain with good memories. I can recall bad places I was in, and associate it with something good that happened to me in the game. 2020 - I got knee surgery... but 5.3 had just released and holy shit. My spouse got a little annoyed at me that the only thing I was listening to was the theme of that last battle (To the Edge). It helped me get through it, the pain and the misery I felt from not being able to walk. 2019 - Work was driving my depression in deep, and I didn’t want to live and continue the pain I was feeling... but I got to the end of 5.0 and only wanted more. I wanted to know what happened next. I still remember that one cutscene, how they got me attached to a minor character so quickly and ripped her away just as fast; and the first dungeon? Experiencing the Trust System, and going through this intense battle on a grand scale with the help of the friends they kept on the sidelines for so long. 2018 - My life was monotonous and I had three other people living with me in my one-bedroom apartment. One of my roommate’s ex’s was now stalking him around my apartment, and work was becoming physically taxing on my legs. But I remember how much fun I had doing maps - and the release of the Tsukuyomi fight? That whole scene there? Oh, wow, it was so bittersweet. The fight was beautiful, the music was haunting, everything about it. Not to mention the ending solo-instances and Ghymlit? The Burn? Omega? The Four Lords? As much as I disliked them (due to my computer issues), even Rabanastre was memorable. 2017 - I was homeless, forced to work a job my body couldn’t handle. I met my spouse, though. I became heavily invested with my tumblr account, doing a full re-write of it all. While I wasn’t much of a fan of the expansion itself, there were some places that really opened my eyes. Azim Steppes? So beautiful - and gotta hand Y’shtola the award for sickest burn. Then I heard my favorite piece of music, and the most nostalgic for me when it comes to SB, Skalla’s theme (Far From Home). 

Lastly, I know this has been long. But I thank everyone around me for being so supportive and kind - I may not be in a good place, but know that every good thing that happens will be associated to this moment. I’ll look back on Year 8 and go “my security was compromised, and my anxiety ran high, but there were these people here who supported me on tumblr, that kept my blog running strong”. I will remember my roleplays, I will remember the music and scenery - even now, I’m getting nostalgic about Shadowbringers, and Endwalker hasn’t even come out yet! So thank you. Here’s to year number 8 - 8 whole years of XIV being in my life. It may not have been that long for many of you, some of you, this might be your first year; hell! Some of you, it’s been longer! But know that this community has helped me so much, and I can’t wait to continue being a part of it. Here’s to the eventual tears Year 9 will bring me! ]