#but oof. this one did actually really hurt. thank u ace

[trickstercaptain]

@thecodekeeper sent: Random headcanon time B)): How does Jack feel when he sees Teague with his grandkids/wayward kids? What does he think about the fact that Teague is more mellow and patient around Henry? Does he blame himself for Teague's past abuse? Does he hold any resentment toward Henry? Is there any internal attempt to make sense of his fathers nonsense? Basically talk about how Jack feels watching his dad display a seemingly more mellow and protective demeanor toward others.

       alright this is a Big topic so buckle up everyone lmao. I guess we can sort of split this into two parts, because there are two key instances of where Teague displays this behaviour in terms of verses we both write in: one is, as you mentioned, in Jack's later adult life where he witnesses Teague being more mellow around the likes of Henry or his own children ( depending on verse ), and the other is adolescent Jack who sees Teague being less harsh and let's just call it what it is lmao not abusive around young people who are roughly the same age as him ( I will likely draw on the Hawkins AU if only because it's an optimal example of this ).

       even though the instinctual reaction on Jack's part is very similar in both scenarios, there's a key difference: watching Teague as an adolescent treat his peers in a more positive light than he treats him is arguably much tougher for Jack than watching Teague do it later in life, because as an adolescent that poor treatment of him is in the present tense, it is actively happening to him. in their Hawkins verse, for instance, Jack will watch Teague treat any of the kids that he teaches or mentors in a gruff, but ultimately fair and decent way but then be home alone with him later on that same day and be victim to the ugliness that defines their own dynamic. as an older adult, the poor treatment left its scars but Jack is several decades removed from it actively happening to him, and is in more of an independent position to distance himself from Teague too, which I think in many ways makes it easier for Jack to deal with ( Jack before he either leaves Shipwreck at the age of 20 in canon, or moves out in modern verse at the age of 18, is trapped within that abusive dynamic regardless of how much of a hands on parent Teague actually is ).

       it doesn't make Jack feel any less like shit though lmao. all it really does is reinforce the idea in Jack's head that he is the problem, because if Teague can actually be a decent, if slightly grumpy and scary, human being to other people, particularly young people who he may have a similar mentor-like relationship to that he should to him, then clearly the missing link here is himself. clearly there is something wrong with him that didn't or doesn't measure up to these other individuals who have an easier dynamic with Teague. it makes Jack intensely jealous ( which is an emotion that he doesn't really feel all that often ), and he hates this particularly later in life looking on at the likes of Henry or his own kids because he absolutely should not be jealous or resentful of his own children or anyone he views in a parental way. this then makes him internalise those feelings because he's ashamed of having those sorts of ugly thoughts, and it kinda lands with Jack just distancing himself from Teague and Henry/his kids whenever they are together. ultimately there is a part of him that is relieved, too, that they are not subject to the same abuse or treatment that he was ( and that he does not have to intervene to protect them ), but it's easier for him to just not be a position where he has to bear witness to it.

       a similar thing is the case for younger Jack too, he will actively try to avoid watching Teague with others he may have that kind of mentor/mentee bond with ( so in their Hawkins verse, this is why Jack does not take music as a subject at school or put himself in a position where he has to spend any time with Teague while at school ). but this version of Jack is definitely angrier about it too, mainly because it is all much more raw and affecting him in the present. he will internalise that anger too because that's what he does, but it definitely contributes to his unhappiness and volatility within his abusive situation. in both scenarios, it also makes Jack feel invalidated too — because it is that classic thing of abuse victims/survivors thinking that they will not be believed because their abuser is a decent person to everyone else they encounter. Jack finds it difficult to open up about this part of his life anyway, but this just makes it even less likely that he will be honest about it to others. as an older adult even more so, because he also does not necessarily want to cause tension between Teague and Henry or Teague and whoever and insert himself into their relationship as a point of contention.

       because it's such an emotional reaction, I'm not really sure if Jack has the capacity to rationalise or try to reason why Teague acts a particular way around Henry, or his kids, or whoever it is. I feel like the strong, difficult emotions it elicits in him makes it difficult for Jack to reflect in a way that isn't just jumping to the conclusion that he is the problem, so he probably just tries not to think about it because avoidance is one of his go-to coping mechanisms. it's something he needs therapy for, 100% lmao.

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now�� THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[yourdarlingfaux]

lol more asks cuz why not

(u dont have to answer if u dont wanna but idk u did say multiple are okay)

Is there a ship you no longer ship and why?

rant about any ship you love but feel like you don't talk about enough

(ok this aren't listed question) is there any pairing you think is better as a friendship?

if you could rate all your hetalia ships from 1- how ever many you have( 1 being your favourite) what would that list look like?

if you could go to the wedding of one of your ships- which ship would it be? and why

which ship is the most chaotic?

what would your ships be like as parents?(you can do one ship if you want or mulitiple)

anddddddddddddd

give a description of your ship/ships in a nutshell, so like what is their dynamic basically like

oof sorry about so many askssss

l do be curious tho

Dude omg please don't be sorry look you are SPOILING ME with these thank you very much I crave attention lmao

⚜ Is there a ship I no longer ship? Why?

Hm.... there’s none that I can think of! So if I ever dropped shipping something it’s probably because I forgot! :p

I would be putting FrUK/USUK here but I was never really avid about them to be no longer shipped and I still like them on occasion

⚜ Rant about any ship I love but feel like you don't talk about enough

Spaus!!!!!! Spain and Austria!!!! I talk about Fraus but Spaus??? Nationverse Spaus??? They had the same thing going except.. a very different energy. These are two men who married while still trying to find where they fit in the world, they fought wars against each other, they were not perfect in any way, but they were husbands, and they always respected each other as such. Human AUs, same thing, they weren’t perfect, they had to grow so much to get to where they are, and often times they'd go DAYS without speaking to each other, but they'd still sit down and chat with their music, Spain on the guitar and Austria on the piano, sometimes they wouldn't play long, but just a few notes and strums exchanged served as a reminder that when they're ready to talk again, they're both ready for each other

Omg wait brain juice FLOWING Hungary x Belgium.... it’s always been hard for me to like them bc of the ship name (for some reason??) but I’ve been thinking about it and I just... wow...... Horse knight woman(? Woman debatable) and a woman who smells like chocolate :) mm.. that’s a vibe

Also I have very very VERY few Ideas on this but Belarus x Seychelles SLAPS in the most positive way 

⚜ Is there any pairing you think is better as a friendship?

Hmm, I’m gonna have to go with USA x N. Italy!! I love them together a lot but I have a hard time seeing them actually being in a romantic relationship :0

Also Estonia x Finland! I think they’re good friends! MAybe tried some intimate stuff in the past but Finland moved on from that and Estonia, in my hc, discovered he’s hetero/aro ace! Which in this case just means Ukraine pretty--

⚜ Rating all my favorite 2p/Hetalia ships from 1-5 because I have way too many ;,)

Hetalia ships in order of how much feeling I have for them when I look at the list

France x Austria

France x Russia

France x Turkey (gee haha I wonder who my favorite character is)

Cuba x Canada

Germany x England (more in human aus tho :) )

Honorable mention!: Romania x Prussia

Honorable mention #2!: Netherlands x Canada

Fav 2p ships in order of how often I think of/write for them

2p France x 2p Austria (wow! shocking!)

2p Sweden x 2p Finland

2p Germania x 2p Ancient Rome

2p Russia x 2p China

2p Germany x 2p Italy

Honorable mention #3!: 2p Egypt x 2p Turkey x 2p Greece [ETG trio]

⚜ If you could go to the wedding of one of your ships- which ship would it be? and why

2p Ancient Greece and 2p Ancient India! I’ve never written them ever and 2p Ancient India is barely a figment of a character but holy shit!!! They would have an amazing wedding!!! No expenses spared and absolutely extravagant!

Or 2pSufin! Cool wedding! Small and cozy because they both have sensory processing issues and it’d just be a very comfortable place to be! :)

⚜ Which ship/s are the most chaotic?

Romania x Prussia (if you can’t imagine why this would be.... I don’t know what to tell you)

Prussia x England (two tired overworked punks)

2p Greece x 2p Japan (half their dates prob consist of running from p!gs for being caught spray painting places that are queerphobic or xenophobic and the others are spent in libraries and museums)

2p Italy x 2p HRE (two kids who don’t know what emotional regulation is)

⚜ What would my ships be like as parents?

Ok! I’ll start out with the ones that I’ve already given children :)

2p Ancient Greece and 2p Ancient Rome (Famous AU): They..... they really tried... they tried so hard to work out their issues for the grandkids, but of course in the end that never works.. they raised the Italy brothers after an accident happened that left them as orphans. Eventually, Melita did leave Cassius, but she also left the grandkids to be looked after by him, and she continued to be absent until the kids were in there mid-20's. Cassius tried his best with what he had, but his best wasn't healthy and was too much self projection because he didn't want them to be hurt as he was, but it backfired, it backfired a lot.

2p Germania and 2p Ancient Rome (Famous AU): Cassius was there to help Berinhart help raise Roland the moment Roland was turned over to Ber's custody, like, that very night. Though Cassius wasn't always present because he was still "with Melita" at that time, but once he was responsible for his own grandchildren, that did start changing in "getting the kids together for socializing" so they could start seeing each other more. Berinhart is a good parent, well rounded and knows how to motivate positively for even the most mundane things

2p Sweden and 2p Finland (most AUs): They adopted two kids: Jack (2pSealand) and Kurt (2pLadonia). Tobbe’s not the best with getting along with children but he’ll be damned if he’s not going to try his best to be with Vaito to raise them with him. Tobbe makes the meals and teaches them to cook and how to clean up after themselves and Vaito teaches them how to clean up bigger messes so Tobbe doesn't have to look at them. Kurt and Jack are in good hands :)

2p France and 2p Austria (however this is only in my Genshin Impact/2ptalia crossover au): François isn’t really interested in a kid of his own and didn't know Roland "had" a kid until he went back to Roland's hometown with him, it's not that Roland didn't talk about Nikki, it's that he never mentioned that he was actually the one raising them until Roland left to travel the world, which left Nikki with Berinhart. François is glad he doesn't have a complete parental role with Nikki but he will fight tooth and nail if harm ever falls on them. And Roland loved taking care of Nikki because they're a founding just as he is but he just didn't feel like he was prepared or good enough to be a good parent for them.

⚜ A description of my ship/s in a nutshell / My ship dynamics in a nutshell

I think I have a wide range of ship dynamics ranging from:

Total of 1 braincell combined and they share it like the three fates in Disney's Hercules (Prussia x America namely)

Socially stunted smol and socially stunted tol

Classy gossip partners apparently

Homophobic bigot because of Unresolved Catholic Trauma and woman who thinks that All woman are bisexual (too niche? It's 2pRome x 2pAncient Greece in human AUs)

I have too many tbh, I don't prefer one type of ship over another so I really can't put all of them here-

Person who's experienced way too much trauma at a young age x person who had a lot of different trauma at a young age and are doing their best to help each other recover (2p France x 2p Austria)

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

no one else has reblogged ask meme Mondays so I'm just going fucking apeshit with u. from the big boy: b7 for raini bc it's funny, c1 for cog bc it's inchresting, h3 for brilliance bc I know there's some gay shit going on and I want to hear more, then a17 (character proud of themselves or ur proud of ur rp as them) L5 and L6 for whomsoever u want to talk about

I won’t need a readmore for this one, I tell myself. There’s not that many questions, and they’re not proseboys. I was a fool. She’s too long to be allowed to run on people’s dashboards unrestrained 😔 Thank you! For going apeshit!!

Raini

B7. How do they respond to babies crying in public? I guarantee the image you have for how Raini would react to a crying baby is 10000% correct. She’s unhappy. Uncomfortable. Unimpressed. Can you please make that thing be quiet. Why did you have it if you can’t mange it. This is why she’s never having kids. Like she’s not gonna say anything to the parents or shoot them dirty looks, because she’s not that specific flavor of asshole, but she’s going Mind Her Business and vacate the premises if possible. People who want to take care of something should just get a cat. Goddamn. There is ONE (1) baby that may qualify for an exception, and that’s Red. This is because (and please, picture Raini, the absolute picture of ‘fed up’, squatting down to look a fussy Red in the eye while she says this) “Baby Lent. You’re better than this. I know you are, and you’re letting me down. You need to stop making that noise.” This is unrelated to the question, but please also picture a Raini who was asked (blackmailed?) into babysitting using her Mage Hand to change Red’s diaper. It has nothing to do with the question but I think it’s a Very funny mental image. Thank you.

Cog

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Absolutely! The way Cog approaches the world is defined by three main mantras: - Kindness is a discipline, not a character trait. - Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but it is always worth doing. - If you are able to help someone, you have an obligation to do so. Between these three things, Cog sees the world in pretty black and white terms. There are right decisions, and wrong ones. The difference between the two is usually clear to anyone who cares to look, and so most of the evil in the world is born of selfishness. Consequently, Cog does very poorly in morally grey situations. She will commit without hesitation to any course of action that she deems “right” and “kind” no matter how drastic or dangerous it is, but she pretty much shuts down the second she’s faced with a decision that has consequences for someone regardless of what she does.  I’m sure that has not, and will not, come in her life ever at all. Ahah!  I think originally, this worldview was born of naivety. She grew up that religious kind of super sheltered where everything in the secular world was dangerous and dirty, and so when Cog began to realize that definitely wasn’t the case she made the choice to intentionally see the best in people and the world around her to fight what she was told growing up. When she started traveling with her party and actually seeing more of the world than the extremes of a) shitty cult town b) shiny clean magic school, she began to realize that the true state of the Wasteland was somewhere between what her Mama had told her and what she wanted to believe it was. But I’ve never in my life made a character who is stubborn as hell deep down, so instead of letting the world she found herself in change her Cog took a deep breath, rolled up her sleeves, and settled in to be the one changing it by loving and helping the people around her.

Brilliance

H3. Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? I think Brilliance absolutely adores the idea of two people being made for one another. Two souls, wandering the world looking for one another? Who slot together so perfectly that when they find each other it’s clear they never could have fit anywhere else? Bruh. Yes, she knows love takes work. Sometimes you and your partner are going to disagree, and sometimes there’s going to be conflict. The world isn’t “love at first sight” then smooth sailing for the rest of your life. But you put in the work to make your lives better, together, because the universe gave you this person to care for. Maybe there are many people who you could be happy with, and those relationships aren’t anything to look down on. But when you find The One, Brilliance thinks, you know. She certainly did.

Don’t Worry About It

A17. What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Gonna hijack this question to talk about rp moments I’m proud of because Alex sorta kinda gave me permission to do that! Alright! For Raini, the biggest rp moment I’m proud of was her “I’m getting our memories back” speech a few sessions ago, specifically the line, “We’ve been fighting with one hand tied behind our backs for too long. If we’re going to die fighting this thing, I want to know exactly what I’m fighting for.” Morgan and I had been planning to kick off our return from July Hell Hiatus with Wish Two for a couple of days, which meant I was lucky enough to be able to spend a little while planning what to say. I feel like that line in particular embodies Raini’s unwavering confidence in her magic, her determination, and her specific brand of caring for the people around her without actually admitting that’s what she’s doing. I also really liked the way the scene of her apologizing to the party for being Bitchy post losing Magic for a minute went! Idk if anyone else remembers it, because it was pretty short in game, but! I thought it was a very good moment of Raini finding the most Roundabout way to say “thank you for looking out for me while I was defenseless”.  If I can pat myself on the back a little, my Cog monologues kick Ass. The most recent one was when she was talking to Ace about how War is Bad (radical, I know) and there was a moment where she looked at him and said, “...I’m not going to ask for your help, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I do and you say no.” Which. OOF. That was her and I realizing in real time that she and Ace were very much on different sides of this issue. When the session ended everyone said they Loved how good and hurtful that conversation was and I :’) Also, there was a really small moment when Cog was pleading for Maelo’s life (when Sunny’s dad had him locked in a cat carrier. It’s a Long story, made slightly better by the fact that Maelo was wildshaped into a cat at the time) and Cog went Straight for the dad heartstrings by sniffling and asking if, please, would Robert at least let her say goodbye to her friend before he killed him? Please? 😢  She is using her baby face for EVIL!  And oh my god how could I forget! Arcane Timeout! When the party went back to New Alexandria and was confronted by Ace for helping a prisoner escape (which, in fairness, Maelo did do) and Cog brought the encounter screeching to a halt by casting Wall of Stone to make a timeout hut with herself and Ace inside. She then sat herself down, looked Ace dead in the eye, and told him that the wall wasn’t coming down until he actually talked to her, or until he broke her concentration on the spell. She banked hard on him not being willing to hurt her, and it paid off. There were tears all around, both in and out of character. It was Wonderful. Also! I do just want recognition for the fact that I did not give into my impulses to be a little Shit as Cog last session by subtle casting Heal in Ace’s face after he Counterspelled my Healing Word. it was what I Rebekah wanted to do more than anything; unfortunately Cog is a better person than I am. There is No worse feeling than wanting so badly to do something you have no choice but to admit isn’t in character. Rip.  For whatever reason, all of my favorite Brilliance rp moments came during combat. Pressing her forehead to Sabre’s after he died in silent grief, forcefully taking a Narzugon off his Nightmare and then using Misty Step to mount it herself and take off after her friend, planting herself in the chokepoint of a hallway to stare down three minotaurs so she could keep her party safe behind her, pushing deeper into the hellwasp nest to rescue Dembe and Sabre despite knowing that doing so all but destroyed her chance of making it out alive, the list goes on. There were good out of combat moments too (despite the rest of the party’s best efforts 🙄), but I feel like for once I made a character who really shone in combat.  oh GOD I just remembered one really really good rp moment, when our rogue Zihro died when he got separated from the party during combat. We finished taking care of the main devil we were fighting, then began searching the dungeon for Zihro and the npc he was with. We, instead, found both of their corpses. Dembe looked to Brilliance, our healer, and demanded to know why she was just standing there instead of fixing their friend. We were only level three or four at the time, so Brilliance had to tell Dembe, again and again, that she couldn’t fix Zihro. It was too late, she wasn’t powerful enough yet, her goddess wouldn’t answer a prayer like that- It was a rough scene, and without question one of the best rp moments I’ve had with that group. Tae, if you’re reading this, you’re the only one with rights. Also, please unfollow this blog immediately.  Now as a quick pick-me-up after that mess, Pip’s best rp moment was when our barbarian Durokal -who couldn’t read and had a habit of running off and causing Problems- found a plaque he could tell had five words on it, and called Pip over to read it for him when Pip finished chasing him down. Pip, annoyed and out of breath and all of two feet tall, looked up at this 7 foot half-orc and told him, “It says: I’m. Gonna. Kick. Your. Ass.” Also, he regularly called very powerful figures in Barovia by sweet nicknames with “Mr.” in the front. As a sign of Respect. Because he’s the Best. sdfhsdkfj he also he couldn’t think of a fake name quick enough one time so he told an npc that is name was Dick and he was Very embarrassed about it. She: bought it!

Brilliance, Again

L5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally?  AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”? The answer is Cog, but we already went in depth on her morals this ask. She’s HAD enough screen time let’s move on. Brilliance is the only other character who, if asked, would say they saw themselves as a good guy instead of just “a person”. She strives to do right by the people around her, and to protect the light and beauty found in the world. She doesn’t have the same illusions about the world wanting to be a good place that Cog does, and she very much understands that sometimes the best thing you can do for the world is to put the things that make it dangerous six feet under. What’s interesting I think is that, despite being a paladin, she isn’t Lawful Good! She’s Neutral Good, because you know what? She wants to do the right thing, and laws aren’t always right. It’s up to you, as a person with a mind and free will and agency, to look at a situation and decide what you think is the right thing to do. And, for Brilliance, generally the right thing to do is heft her sword, raise her shield, and face trouble head on.

Raini, Once More

L6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”? I don’t have any evil aligned characters, because I personally find things like “getting along with my party members” sexy, but the character who’s the shittiest and the worst is obviously Raini. She’s not a bad person per say, she’s just selfish and results oriented. Very much “the ends justify the means” and in a party like hers she’s aware that somebody has to be the bad guy sometimes, and she’s not afraid to make sure that’s her. She’s also very very likely to fall victim to her hubris making her feel like she definitely knows what’s best, and acting on that maybe without consulting other people (see: the whole fucking premise of the campaign). She sees a goal, she sees a way to accomplish that goal, so why shouldn’t she begin taking the necessary steps to reach it? I think the events of the game have mellowed this flaw out a little bit, but you can still see traces of it in the way she, for example, wordlessly handed Lent a bunch of diamonds before launching her consciousness into the Abeast and very nearly dying in there without consulting with the party first. It happens!  Also, behaviorally, she’s just. I mean. She’s like that. The worst. And that, I promise, will never change. 

[lonely-canadian-shrimp-universe]

Good Omens:A First Foray

The First Impressions of a Viewer with No Context

I knew a good chunk of the plot because at first I honestly wasn't going to watch it, so I didn't really shield myself from any spoilers on tumblr.

That being said, I was hooked right from episode 1. I went into it thinking I was gonna be all over Crowley (given my other favourite characters in most other franchises) but the first time Aziraphale smiled I M E L T E D. SO PURE AND SWEET Also when "Aziraphale" was said I had a moment of 'oh. that's how you say that' Also the earth and my mom share a birthday. When Nanny Ashtoreth showed up I KNEW I was gonna need more content of her. Wife 100%

The fact that, try as they may, Zira and Crowley are completely incompetent and really only matter in the last like 16 minutes before the end of the world is really great. It's like watching a show that's about the really interesting side characters you get to see for 2 minutes and WISH you got 6 hrs of. Thank you, Neil.

Ep 2 we get to meet Newt and Anathema and omg I love them. I need Anathemas wardrobe ugh. And newt??? disaster Newton Pulsifer??? he's a mood. Not totally sure how I feel about their relationship but I love the contrast of "hey we just met like an hour ago and we're dating now thnks" to "we've known each other for 6000 years but there's no way he likes me the same way? side note, isn't it funny how the world is always emitting a low buzz of love my dear?" "ngk"

Agnes is amazing and I love how sassy she is. 10/10. I love how Aziraphale is not at ALL concerned about being shoved against a wall by Crowley. Like not one bit. He's like "oh finally, it's only taken you 6 millenia" honestly same

Ep 3 gives us the 30 minute cold open who's only purpose is to show how these two kept coming back to each other for 6 millenia, no matter how the last meeting may have gone. Here are a few thoughts:

Crowley has very pretty hair. Also I could 100% see by this point how these two have been gay for each other since day 1. Er rather day 7? Golgotha Crowley is v pretty and learning later that those are traditionally female garments was a treat. That scene was otherwise hard to watch, and they definitely thought so as well. The globe theatre was really fun to watch, I love Shakespeare. Sadly, Hamlet reminds me of my awful 10th grade English teacher. she ADORES that play. So thanks,  Aziraphale.

Bastille= PEAK GAY LOOK

I'd seen the church scene and "you go too fast for for me in MANY a gift,  but hearing them was OOF. Michael Sheen didn't have to go so hard on that line but OH BOY DID HE EVER. I may have cried.

I honestly didn't realize that the intro didn't play until the middle of the episode until I rewatched it??  like that completely flew over my head.

THE BANDSTAND. THE E M O T I O N. AZIRAPHALE WAS SO HURT. he was so torn because so much of him still wanted to believe in the good of heaven, but his heart (or the angelic equivalent) had long ago sided with Crowley. When Crowley came back and asked him to run away to Alpha Centuri??? UGH. that dude instantly assuming they're gay? same. same random dude. same. And omg Crowley praying??? to God??? he cares about humanity and it SHOWS. By this point I was REALLY relating to Aziraphale. His reluctance to stray from what he knows and was told reminds me so much of myself. that A n x i e t y.

the end of episode 4 and into episode 5 HURT. the bookshop? "I lost my best friend"? The fact that Crowley was ready to give up and wallow drunkenly through the Apocalypse because continuing on or running away held no meaning if he didn't have Aziraphale by his side. I cried. On the other hand, defiant Aziraphale? "Angels can't posses people" "Demons can..." YES BBY STOP BLINDLY FOLLOWING ORDERS!!! FREE THOUGHT BABEY!!! Now: Shadwell and Tracy. Shadwell is hilarious and I love him, end of story. He's just so... out there. crazy dude. Madame Tracy on the other hand? AMAZING. her actress (I can't think of her name and I have a REALLY ONE TRACK MIND) absolutely KILLED it. AMAZING. The seance?  That dude who WAS JUST LOVING EVERY SECOND? Loved that so much. still cracks me up. When they first get to the airbase and Crowley compliments his dress and Aziraphales like OwO like fellas they gay.

1970s crowley... the mustache... "Can I hear a Wahoo?" Hastur... love him... "What's a computer" part of me wants to think he's just fucking with Crowley because who wouldn't but also he's so deadpan and yo I can't read expression AT ALL.

Love the fact that Crowley was ready to yeet off to a far off star system light-years away, but at the same times like "you expect me... to go to TADFIELD? In this weather??? Maybe I should drive but I mean, have you SEEN the TRAFFIC Angel? And now the M-25s on fire. Great."

Hastur going from on top of everything and tearing Crowley down to panicking because YOU'RE DRIVING TOWARDS A WALL OF FIRE.

snek eyes :3c

"Young man your CAR is on F I R E"

ALSO the horse people getting lost is peak entertainment. Honestly the horsepeople are great. War? Gorgeous. Famine? Love him. He's got style Pollution??? They're amazing, and also THEY THEM PRONOUNS BABEY. that made me v happy bc I just got used to usin em myself uwu. D E A T H. He knows his aesthetic yall. love it.

suppose nows a good a time as any: THE THEM.

I didn't really like Adam at first, he seemed a bit snobby. he's grown on me now but... ngk. Wenslydale was an instant fave. he's adorable. love him. Brian? total mess. super genuine. Great kid. PEPPER. she's great. she's sassy. she's gonna go far in life. all together, they're a tight knit group and I love them and they're all my children now thabks. and the parallels to the horsepeople? p e r f e c t

Alrighty Episode 6!!!

The beginning terrified me. All this time I was rooting for Zira and Crowley to finally get their happily ever after and yknow how most media is nowadays. There's a reason Fix-it Fics are so popular. So the beginning of the episode scared me. Also Beelzebub 💖

I love the Them vs The Horsepeople. "I believe in Peace, bitch."

I didn't even realize til later that that was Aziraphales sword. didn't even catch that line.

When Beez and Gabriel showed up? THAT DUMB SMILE OF GABES? I really hated Gabriel. The way he treated Aziraphale REALLY rubbed me the wrong way and I just did not like him one bit.

W I N G S. PRETTY WINGS. also didn't even realize that what Crowley did was STOP TIME. LIKE WHSOHDOEBE WHaT? ??

 "it burned down... remember?" uuggghhh kill me with how soft and gentle he's being!!! he knows that bookshop MEANT something to Zira hdoehekdn

T H E B O D Y  S W A P

the caught me COMPLETELY off guard... at first. I was completely unaware right up until "crowley" was attacked. I caught that little "Tickety boo" and I paused screaming like CROWLEY WOULD NOT SAY THAT IN THAT SCENARIO NO WAY THAT IS N O T ANTHONY J CROWLEY W H A T 

The heaven scene solidified my then hatred for Gabriel. I like him now but oof that scene he's still VERY punchable.

Crowley: Nearly threw hands with the Archangel Gabriel

The Hell trial. So Extra. Asking for a rubber duck? iconic! "Michael, dude!" oh mood.

when they switch back and it's all revealed? G l o r i o u s. They played each other so well!!! honestly props to Michael and David, their acting was PHENOMENAL.

The ending. A happy ending. The amount of love with which Zira says "to the world" killed me. I'm dead now thanks to that. I'm typing this from the grave,  that's how powerful that line is. Honestly, knowing next to nothing going in was kind of wild and my crazy reblogging spree actually got some of my mutuals to watch the show which is pretty neat. Going back through 3 more times now, Aziraphale definitely resonates with me the most. I actually have a small blurb I wrote on the positive effects he's had on my perception of myself in terms of stimming.

All in All this show hit me in a way I did NOT expect it to, and I'm glad I found it when I did. I was at a point where I was kinda feeling like I'd never really have a fulfilling relationship because of my asexuality, and then I found good omens. I def read the characters as ace while watching it and it was amazing seeing two characters who can love each other fully, without the need for anything explicit. The show was an instant fav and I'm trying to find a physical copy of the book (that I can afford) so I can read the original text. This is a story that's going to stay important to me for a very long time, I can feel it.

[junietuesday]

For the Arospec Headcanon Game ummmm whoever ur fav is (sorry i dont know what things u watch or read are i just found u in the AAW tag)

aaa thank you! I’ll do Michael Mell, he was the first character I ever headcanoned as aspec

What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)

I headcanon him as aroallo, gay and aromantic (or depending on the fic he might be grayro or demiro, if you absolutely must ship him -- he’s confirmed demiro in the one romance I’m writing him in)

How proud of being arospec are they?

very fucking proud, 100000/10

Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?

hm I’d say no. being gay and aromantic have pretty much equal importance to him

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

he’s super out! if we’re being canon-compliant Michael probably found out after the events of the musical, but I also like the added layer to Michael’s characterization during canon if he knows he’s aro because

1) he’d be seen as even stranger to his classmates -- he’s not just gay, he’s aromantic and gay, which is probably even harder for homophobic high-schoolers to understand

2) Jeremy is his best friend and most significant relationship, if Jeremy decides to up and leave Michael doesn’t have anyone to turn to, not even a potential boyfriend; an alloro might try to find someone to date to fill that gap but Michael doesn’t have that option, or well at least he wouldn’t want to take it

3) Jeremy taking a squip, choosing Christine (his crush) over Michael (his best friend) would hurt even more because Michael would feel like no matter how much he loves Jeremy it won’t be enough for him because it isn’t romantic

oof this went off on a tangent. um to answer the actual question: Michael came out to Jeremy through a stupid pun (“i’m straight as an arrow” / “uh you’re gay??” / “which is to say i’m not straight because aros aren’t straight and i’m an aro!! booyah” / “that was...so forced”). He has two moms and a pan ace sister so his coming out barely even counted as a coming out because “anak, we’re all gay, you’re not special”

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

He’s romance-repulsed usually, sometimes it goes down to romance-neutral, but thankfully the repulsion doesn’t affect queer romances because that’s the only way he can get any rep as a gay teen. He gets really annoyed when his franchises shoehorn a romance into there for the sake of it, especially a straight ship -- usually it makes him sick enough to have to give up if the romance is too focused-on and detailed, even if he loves where the story was going before the ship came in. and he especially hates shipping culture because any positive relationship is turned into romance, and sometimes he just wants to read some platonic fic but well, who writes about platonic relationships when you can have ~+~romance!!1!!1!~+~

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

his moms try to push “maybe you could have a QPR?” once they learn about them, because they want their son to have some kind of monogamous significant relationship even if romance isn’t in the cards for him, despite Michael telling them that he doesn’t want one, but other than that people are pretty supportive. Look he goes through enough already he doesn’t need arophobia on top of that, I can’t bear to hurt him any more

How do they show their arospec pride?

he has aro and aroallo flag patches along with the gay one on his hoodie, no question, along with fun patches with puns and cool designs on them. for pride month he paints his nails first rainbow, then aro colors, then aroallo colors, changing every week of June (for the last week he did bi colors on one hand and ace colors on the other in support of Jeremy). one time he layered a bunch of green, white, and yellow Slurpees at 7-Eleven to make a cup in the aroallo flag; it tasted awful but so worth it

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

probably he just gets mad inside but doesnt do anything. it’s not like he ever reacts to all the homophobia around at their school and tbh he probably sees it as something that is just the way it is, hes a “just keep swimming” kind of guy despite his rise above racism patch from what we see

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

it was pretty easy, it didn’t click immediately, like as soon as he saw the word, but after looking into the community a little bit, he connected deeply with the aromantic label because it explained so much of his childhood

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

he thinks he’d be interested in a somewhat more committed friend-with-benefits relationship, and he likes the idea of a relationship where the boundaries are clearly set as nonromantic and sexual, but it also might feel too close to romance for him depending on the day. and his moms push him toward a QPR as a “if you can’t have romance at least have one of these!” type of thing so he might try to avoid them for that reason

Final thoughts?

there’s no option of Michael being alloro, he’s Filipino and gay and lives in New England and is that weird kid no one wants to be friends with, how can I not project on him

also Michael and Jeremy are aroallo/alloace solidarity, sorry I don’t make the rules