#but only like 4 out of 7 days of the week
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Since it's already the 21st in Thailand now and I'm impatient to release this lol-
Today is ZeeNuNew's official 4th anniversary! 🐶🐱
So to celebrate, I worked on a little something, as promised: All deleted scenes from the Cutie Pie boxset, subbed and translated by yours truly (to the best of my non-native ability 🙏)
You can find the individual clips by either clicking on the links or, if you're on desktop, I've added them to the header images as well. My hope is that tumblr won't flag this post because any NC scenes aren't embedded. The clips are all hosted on tumblr and you can easily download them like this, too. If this post does get flagged- Welp, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But the clips themselves shouldn't be affected since they're all hosted separately.
RULES: - This is arguably transformative content now because of my translations and the amount of audio fixing I had to do 🤡 But, please, if you share this post or any of the links off-site, do so privately so Domundi don't sound any sirens lol - Do NOT re-upload these clips anywhere! See previous point, plus I do not appreciate having my translations stolen, as is often the case online - If any link doesn't work or ever goes down, feel free to send me an ask or dm and I'll look into it 🙏
Now that you've read all of the above and promise to stick to my rules 😇🔪 you may proceed to the actual content~ Have fun, enjoy, and maybe come talk to me about it <3
clip 1+3 - Get out! clip 4 - Lunch & Lecturing clip 5 - Football
Four scenes of the gang's shenanigans at university. Clip 1 continues into clip 3 so I edited them together. They likely fit into ep.8 which has that same classroom setting with P'Aof's cameo as their lecturer. Clip 2 is entirely the same as in the aired version so I omitted it, even though it would fall under this category of scenes. Clips 4 and 5 are mostly about NuerSyn butting heads~
clip 11 - Start Over
An alternate cut of YiDiao's NC scene in ep.10. The boxset clip includes the entire conversation beforehand which I cut out because there's no difference to the aired version. I also adjusted the volume of the placeholder song because it's deafening at times.
clip 8 - First Time
A longer alternate cut of LianKuea's NC scene in ep.8. There are entirely new angles and cuts in this one! I adjusted the audio levels a bit.
clip 6 - Pillow Talk
Continued from after ep.8's NC scene. This scene is so so dear to me. Fair warning: the audio at the beginning maybe shouldn't be played without headphones lol
clip 7 - Bathtub
A LianKuea NC scene. This one might fit into ep.9 because it was definitely filmed during the same Q as the bathtub scene in ep.9. I did a lot of editing to get the audio levels of the different angles and cuts to be roughly the same volume.
clip 9 - Homophobia
A cut scene from ep. 11. Some lady at Lian's father's birthday party has a whole lot to say about Kuea, Lian, and their families.
clip 10 - Mystery
A LianKuea NC scene. I call it a mystery because I cannot for the life of me figure out where this scene was supposed to go! Logically, it must have fit somewhere between ep.8 and 12 but their outfits never show up again anywhere else. All I know about it is that it was filmed during Q16 and that it uses the same placeholder song as in clip 11. My only evidence- two photos P'Aof apparently shared a few days after that Q + a promotional still from a week before the show premiered.
#cutie pie the series#zeenunew#liankuea#yidiao#maxnat#nuersyn#tutoryim#bella and the blorbos#local woman harps on about znn
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Instagram channel, that tiktok profile thing, remix album on the 4th day, 2 extra album versions on Spotify for a total of 4 covers for the title track, Jimmy Fallon performance, Pop-Up store, etc. This is exactly what Muse got. It's clear that Hybe giving these things to Jimin wasn't them playing favorites, it was just their new album release method that they were testing on Jimin first. And Jin got the improved version of this method. 1 extra remix, 1 extra physical album version, 1 extra digital album version, 2 extra single CDs, radio on week 1, etc.
I saw V stans complaining about him being the only vocal line member to not get a remix album, but that's just because he didn't release an album this year, if he did he definitely would've gotten the same things as Muse and Happy. The equivalent of Layover isn't Muse it's Face and Face didn't get more than 2 remixes or any different album versions either. But you know what Layover did get that neither Face nor Muse got? MVs for every song and multiple performances for all those songs.
The reality is that Hybe has never actually given Jimin anything that the other members didn't get too. And often they get better versions of what Jimin got and even things exclusive to them that Jimin was never even offered. What really happens here is that Hybe will use Jimin to test out new types of release and promotion and because he's given these things first he gets all the heat while everyone after him gets away unscathed. Because seriously, tell me one thing Jimin was given that no one else was? Because I can name several things everyone else but him got.
The difference between Jimin and the other 5 members (cause we all know Jungkook is an exception) is not that Hybe gives Jimin more, no the actual difference is that with the same, if not less tools Jimin manages to achieve way more. And Jin is about to prove this. Happy has everything that Muse got plus more versions, multiple stages, probably more than a month of promotion, the artist behind the album not being in the fuckass military and being able to actually promote the album in person or even just acknowledge the album's existence at all. It has all this but you know damn well it's gonna perform way below Muse. Who got a #14 and later a #12 on the Hot 100 with 6 remixes, 4 covers, 1 CD and 0 radio. Running Wild has 7 remixes, 4 covers, 2 CDs and was sent to radio on the first week but you know it won't even see the top half of the chart (if it even enters it at all). And that's not to mention my girl Like Crazy getting a #1 with 5 dollars and a dream. Running Wild will be lower on it's first week than Like Crazy was on it's second and that's what we call karma. The only thing Happy has over Muse is global physical sales. But no wait, Face has more than both and it was Jimin's actual debut album like Happy is Jin's. And both Face and Muse got #2 on billboard 200 while Happy is not even predicted to get a top 5. So yeah, Jin has literally nothing over Jimin.
And I love this actually. I want every member to get everything Jimin got so they can see exactly what the difference between them and Jimin is. The fans of those 5 have been telling themselves that they could achieve everything Jimin did and more if only they were given the same tools and promotion Jimin got. And I want to see it, I want to see they do what Jimin did. I'll even be nice and not include the sabotage Jimin got, they can try to match him without that. I want to see them try and inevitably fail. And I know their fans will come up with excuses nonetheless but I still want to see it.
The only advantage Jimin actually has compared to hyungline is fan support. But unlike Jungkook Jimin's didn't have the company prime the fandom to be his fans. Every fan Jimin has he gained through his blood, sweet and tears (pun fully intend because the number of fans Jimin got with BST cannot be overstated). We all know armys don't fuck with the rapline but Jin is a vocal line member so if he didn't capture people's attention like Jimin did that's no one's fault but his own. Unless you wanna say it's not Hybe, but instead God who favors Jimin and gave him more talent than Jin, which fair enough, Jimin is in fact God's favorite child. And while Taehyung is popular that popularity comes from visual stans and shippers and we all know how well that popularity translated to his music, and by that I mean that it didn't, man is getting outdone by Jin, I would be embarrassed. And Jungkook (who's fanbase consists exclusively of visual stans, shippers, y/ns and psychopaths) would've faced a similar fate if the company didn't work for him harder then they did for even the group. I have said it before and I'll say it again, Jimin has and will always be the only member who's music and performances people actually care about.
.🎯
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Lover Man
Pairing: Roy Harper X Single Mom! Female! Reader
Summary: Roy Harper gave up on love after his relationship with Cheshire never went anywhere other than creating his bundle of joy that was Lian Harper. That was until she came knocking on his door.
Warnings: 18+, Minors Do Not Interact, Female Reader/Female Pronouns/ Female Anatomy, Fluff eventually turning into Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Close Proximity, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Implied Abuse, Heavy Make-Out Session, Dry Humping, Implied Breeding Kink, Roy Harper being our Gentle King ((only this time)).
A/N: Soooo I had another Roy fanfic written completely in the drafts…and I hated it 💀. So I rewrote it and here it is. It’s a wee bit longer than my normal fanfics and I wanted to add more fluff and more descriptive detail instead of just smut. Please leave me some comments if you like this or if you don’t lol. Thank you.
A/N: I got my own ginger so it makes me wanna write about my second favorite ginger since I hardly see writing for him outside of him being a throuple with Jason. Roy Harper is just as hot as Jason because man’s literally got himself out of a bad place just for his daughter 😭🥹. Our responsibility king. Also Lian is aged up to 7 years old in this.
Dividers >>>> @cafekitsune
Roy Harper was a hardworking man. He slaves over his small mercenary missions with the occasional events of saving the city in the mix of raising a 4 foot ball of energy all on his own. He felt exhausted most the time, but that exhaustion keeps him out of trouble. It also gets him out of any venture for a personal life.
Sure, Roy had the Outlaws who would swing by after missions just to hangout and drink, and the Titans make a rare appearance to visit their favorite niece. Even Ollie and Dinah would occasionally come by to visit. But, after Jade came and left him high and dry, his heart was hollow…
Lian was his whole world and stars. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved his little girl. He dragged himself out of his drug addiction just so he can take care of her, and she should be enough to make the backbreaking labor enough.
However, he notices how the doodled Mother’s Day cards that used to litter the fridge for Jade began to dwindle as her eyes began to look longingly at the other parents who had two parents and a pair or two of siblings. Lian says she’s happy to live with her Dad, who was her bestest friend in the world, but the occasional crayon drawings say otherwise.
The stick figures of Lian and Roy with a faceless woman and another stick figure child making it very clear that Lian wanted a mother figure, or at least a sibling.
Maybe one day Roy can give it to her…but right now he was too tired.
“What do you mean you forgot??” Roy yells into the phone as he speed walks back to his apartment complex.
He should have known better than to ask Garfield to wait at his apartment for Lian to come home and babysit for a couple of hours while he went grocery shopping. This week has been hell on him. He’s been dealing with some of Black Mask’s crew trying to expand to Star City and when he would try to get some sleep, the noise of some new neighbors moving in woke him up constantly. This was really his only chance to go do anything and Beast Boy forgot to come.
“I asked you to do one thing, Gar! Be here and watch Lian until I got back. How can forget to watch a 7 year old girl?” Roy seethes as he walks into the main lobby and bolting up the stairs.
His heart was pounding with all the possible scenarios. He knows he’s overreacting, that she was just probably sitting by the locked door either entertaining herself or crying. But he also couldn’t help but be paranoid that she strayed off to go find him or someone snatched her up.
His worst fear coming to reality as he walks onto his floor and sees no one. He quickly gets to his door and jiggles the nob, feeling the secured lock.
Just as Roy was about to scream at Garfield again to relieve the unrelenting anxiety, the sound of a door opening behind him catches his attention as a familiar ring fills the static.
“Daddy!” Lian yells as Roy turns around, relief filling his body as he kneels down to greet the girl.
“Oh fuck, you scared me.” He says, as he sighs in relief. His strong arms holding the small girl tight to his chest.
“I’m sorry,” the girl mumbles with sympathy pooling in her dark eyes. “I was walking Wren and she wanted me to see her new room.”
‘Wren? Who’s Wren?’ Roy thought as he quirks his eyebrow just as movement catches his eyes again to the door.
Another little girl was standing in the door way to the apartment. She looked the same age as Lian with colorful ribbons in her hair and the matching Star Academy uniform on as Lian.
‘Another Star Academy student? There isn’t any other student living here…’
Then the realization that this was one of the new neighbors hits him as a taller figure appears behind Wren. Her voice throwing Roy in a trance as she scolds the girl.
“Wren, I told you to not stare. Especially at strangers.” Her voice gently but protective as she kept her eyes on Roy. Her hand already on her daughter’s shoulder as her daughter apologizes.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I wanted to see Lian’s Dad and see if I can come over…”
The woman was the same age as him from what he can tell. Healthy, glowing skin despite the dark bags under her eyes. Her hair glowed like a halo in the fluorescent light of the hallway despite the messy frizz of what he thought used to be a protective hairstyle that her work day destroyed. Her boxy scrubs doing noting to hide her figure as the familiar logo of Star City General Hospital shined brightly.
“Dad.” Lian’s inpatient voice cuts through his daze as he looks to his daughter.
“Huh?” He says as his daughter giggles.
“I said, can I show Wren my room? I wanna show her all my Bluey toys.” She says excitedly.
His eyes briefly flickering over to the other excited little girl before stating gently, “I have no problem with it, but did you ask Wren’s mom if she can.”
“Yea! Miss (L/N) said it was alright.” She says happily.
‘Miss? I guess she’s not married…’ he thought as he handed Lian his keys with a joking quip, “Don’r throw a party while I’m over here talking to Miss (L/N).”
The girls giggle before running over to Roy’s apartment and entering. Roy stands up to his full height as he gives the mother a smile. She returns it with her own as she says,
“Normally Wren is pretty shy, so I was happy to see she made friends with a good kid.” She says as she pushes some stray hair out of her face before offering him her hand. “I’m (Y/N) by the way.”
“Roy. Roy Harper.” He introduces himself as he shakes her hand. He couldn’t help but smile brighter as they pulled their hands away, proud that his daughter helped out a new kid.
“Lian doesn’t have much of a shy side to her. I blame it on her mom’s genetics.” He jokes with a soft chuckle.
“You and your wife must be proud.” She says softly as she props her hip against the doorframe.
“Oh no, I’m not married.” He corrects her as he nervously stuffs his hands in his pocket as he felt a pang of gloom over his heart. “It’s just me and Lian.”
Her eyes dropped as she crosses her arms over her chest as she mumbles, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume…”
“No, youre alright.” He assures her with a shrug. “Honestly, I should be apologizing for your first impression of me being my kid locked out of my apartment.”
She giggles as she waves him off as she says, “Lian told me that her normal babysitters weren’t in town and that ‘Uncle Gar’ was suppose to be here.”
“Yeaaa.” He groans as he defends himself. “I promise that i’m normally on top of the babysitting situation since I normally work nights.”
She nods as she says, “I understand. I have to find my own babysitter now that I moved across the country. I work days at the hospital.”
The idea seeming to strike them at the same time as both their little girls scream in delight as they play in the apartment over.
A compromise between two single parents.
The deal was easy and benefited both of them. Since she had to work 12 hour shifts on a 3 on, two off basis, (Y/N) would drop the girls off at school on her way to work, and Roy adjusted his “work” time so he can be home when they come home from school and babysit until Wren’s mom gets off from work.
When (Y/N) was off and Roy is working, She will keep both girls at her apartment and gets them ready for school in the mornings before they tag off.
During the rare occurrence that Roy had to go away on a “business trip”, the girls would just be with (Y/N) full time with Roy’s promise that it will only be a week and he will watch them when the weekend comes so she can rest.
This has been the routine for three months, and Roy enjoyed it more than he should. It felt great knowing that Lian was in capable, non vigilante hands when he was away and she had a female role model to who doesn’t fight crime in spandex.
Roy also adored Wren. She took a minute to break out of her shell, but she reminded him a lot of Jason. A quiet type who surprised him with her temper and mischief. He can see why (Y/N) is the kind of parent she is and how she easily keeps Wren and Lian in line.
Over the weeks, Wren and Lian became the dynamic duo of Star Academy. They did everything together and would cry if they couldn’t. The two even begged their respective parents for matching Bluey backpacks and sparkly shoes so they can match all the time. They even developed a cute habit of leaving colored drawings under the apartment doors for the other to find. The friendship was very heart warming and helped form the bond between their parents.
The two had a lot in common too. More than they expected.
“Wanna beer?” Roy offered as he stood up from the couch.
“No thank you.” She answers as she focuses on wrapping the present infront of her.
Tomorrow was Wren’s birthday, and while the girls are having a sleep over in Lian’s room, Roy and (Y/N) prepped for her birthday party.
“You sure, doll?” He says as he grabs a couple beers. He sits beside her and holds his open bottle near her as he jokes. “You gonna let me drink alone, and make me look depressed?”
Her eyes darken as she scoots away from him. The air turning cold as she snaps on him. “I said No, Roy.”
Roy immediately freezes before frowning in concern. He puts the beer on the coffee table as he whispers to her. “Hey, I’m sorry…”
Her eyes relax as her shoulders slump. She sighs softly as she mumbles. “No, I’m sorry…”
She reaches into her pocket a pulls out a familiar looking token and hands it to him. A 5 year sobriety coin. His brows shoot up as he looks at her in shock.
She giggles somberly as she says, “it’s not mine. It’s my Dad’s.”
She pulls her knees to her chest as she looks to the wall around the muted tv. Pictures lining the wall of Lian and Roy with some of just them or with friends. She smiles softly as she recounts.
“My dad was a bad alcoholic, but a good dad. He would take me with him everywhere he could and it would be like everyday was a good day. I was too young to realize he drank too much or he yelled at my mom a little too harshly.” She says as she picks at the material of her socked covered feet.
“It wasn’t until I got pregnant with Wren that he realized he had to sober up. He managed to stay clean for almost 6 years until a drunk driver hit him.” She chuckles sadly as she sees the irony in her dad’s death. “He even help me leave my ex who was also a bad drinker. I guess seeing my dad doing it my whole life, I thought it was normal…”
Her arms wrapping around herself before finally looking back at Roy. Her eyes meeting his green ones, her gaze watery as she wipes the tears away.
“I’m sorry, that was too much to put on you..” she said as her voice wavers a bit. “You can drink though I don’t-“
Roy gets up and takes his beers to the kitchen. Confused by his abruptness, she follows him, only to see him dumping out his open beer and starting to dump out the other one. She looks at him confused as he finishes dumping the liquid out before he pulls out his wallet and pulls out a coin.
He hands both coins to her as she reads the one he pulled out of his wallet. 7 years sobriety.
“You were…?” She mumbles is disbelief before he answers.
“Yep, former heroine addict…” he says as he leans back against the counter. His arms flexing as he crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes shining with seriousness as he says,
“I understand why your dad got help. I did the same thing when I found out about Lian, and I don’t ever wanna do anything that can jeopardize giving her a better life than I had…”
An emotion crosses his face that makes her nervous but excited as he admits.
“And I don’t want to do anything that would drive you out of mine.”
“Please, (Y/N)!” Lian begs as Wren stands behind her with her puppy dog eyes shining behind her.
Those were the famous last words that were said when Lian and Wren convinced her to allow them to go to a slumber party while Roy was out of town. (Y/N) didn’t see the harm since it was Friday night and the girls had been good. Besides, Roy was supposed to be home late tonight so he can enjoy his Saturday morning resting.
It was a good idea. Or at least that’s what she thought before she got mugged on her way home from dropping off the girls.
The woman didn’t see it coming when she was snatched off the street and pinned to an alley wall as a disgust voice coos at her.
“Easy, Babygirl.” The masked man purrs as his dirty finger nails digged into her arms. “Just give me your purse and we can both walk away happy.”
“Fuck off!” She says as she tries to yank away from him .
“Now don’t be such a-!” His growl interrupted as the swoop of air shoots between them. She looks to where it lands and sees a red arrow buried into the wall behind them. The mugger was the first to look back to where it came from before gasping,
“Arsenal? What’s he doing here?” He curses as he pulls (Y/N) in front of him, making the struggling woman a human shield. “I’m armed, and I’m not afraid to hurt the bitch!” He says as he pulls out a knife and holds it to her neck.
(Y/N) only heard about the vigilante through the news. Apparently he used to be Green Arrow’s sidekick before he went solo for some reason and he was a rough guy. He works with the Red Hood who was known for killing criminals so she understood why the man was scared as a figure dropped down from a rooftop with his bow ready to shoot.
Her panic setting in as the bite of the blade was pressed hard to her neck, the anxious blade knicking her. Her panic eyes were set on the archer as she watches him slowly approach.
He looked…familiar. His height and built was impressive despite him being more on the leaner side and his features not obstructed by his sunglasses and hat reminded her of Roy…
“Let the girl go.” Arsenal warns the burglar. His voice was deep, but it didn’t sound natural. It was like he was trying to make his voice sound different. “You’re just pissing me off more and I’m gonna end up breaking your eye socket in.”
The criminal trembles before deciding the best escape plan. He grabs ahold of her purse before throwing her in Arsenal’s direction. Unprepared to the violent shove, (Y/N) falls to the ground before the vigilante can catch her. Her yelp filling space as the hero kneels down beside her to make sure she wasn’t stabbed.
“Hey, you alright?” He says as he scans her body for any serious injury.
She pushes herself up, cringes as her wrist throbs. His large gloved hands on her back and shoulder as he helps her stand when she notices his exposed arm. A familiar faded green tattoo visible on his bicep as the pieces fall together.
“Roy?…” She asks as she looks up Arsenal. Despite his eyes being covered, she can tell he was looking at her in a panic that she figured him out.
“Yea…” He confirms before looking behind her as he realizes the motherfucker stole her purse. He pulls his aviators down to the bridge of his nose, his eyes shining in concern as he mumbles to her.
“Go home. I’ll meet you there so we can talk about it.”
The look in his eyes and the pounding adrenaline makes her fear melt away as she nods her head.
“Okay.”
The throbbing pain in her wrist didn’t stop when she finally made it back to her apartment building, acting as her anchor as the revelation that Roy’s secret night job was him being a Robin Hood copycat.
Thinking back on it, she should have figured he wasn’t a normal guy. Constant bruises, noticeable limps, and stolen ibuprofen were a routine in their life.
The thought made her stop for a second in the stair way.
Their life. The one they shared for months basically together. At first it was just two single parents helping each other out while their daughters bonded. Then her and Roy began to get close, close enough to where they were constant in each other’s apartments as the other child was.
Now he saved her life…maybe he already did that the first day in the city and she babysat a kid she didn’t know…
As she reaches the arch way between the two apartments, her hands searches her pockets for her keys when disappointment answers her.
The keys were in her purse.
With a sigh, she decides to sit on the ground besides Roy’s door as she waits. (Y/N) curls herself into a ball with her knees to her chest as she felt the familiar feeling of exhaustion nipping her eyelashes.
(Y/N) was a hard working woman. When she wasn’t working herself like a dog in the Emergency Room, she was handling a 4 foot ball of attitude. She didn’t have time for any ventures outside of that. She loves Wren with all her heart, but that doesn’t help the hollow part of her heart from throbbing…maybe someday she can give Wren a father who’s worth something. But right now, she was too damn tired.
The door opens behind her as she jumps awake. The woman didn’t even realize she almost fell asleep, but a warm hand opens in front of her as she looks up.
Roy was standing in front of her now. A grey zip up was pulled over his shoulders to cover his costume as her purse hanged on his arm. His soft smile made her stomach flutter as he breaks the silence.
“I guess I got some explaining to do…”
She doesn’t respond right away. Instead she gives him her hand and stands up with his help. Her injured wrist cradled to her chest as they enter the apartment. The movement still felt natural despite the circumstances. Roy didn’t even have to ask about her arm to know she needed first aid on her wrist.
He tended to her sprained wrist as he tells her his life story. She already knew about the general events of his childhood and his life with Oliver Queen, but didn’t know he was a sidekick turned mercenary. The whole story made her head spin as she thought about the man tending to her as a boy wearing yellow and red spandex and managing to attract a female assassin who was Lian’s actual mother…
“So…” Roy says as he expects some sort of reaction out of her.
“So… You are a vigilante…Ollie and Dinah are too.” She recounts as she rubs her bandaged wrists. “And your ex is an assassin…”
(Y/N) sighs before looking at the nervous ginger fidgeting in his seat. His nerves were haywire.
‘What if she leaves?’
‘What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me or Lian anymore?”
‘Is she gonna keep Wren from Lian and Me?’
“Okay”
The phrase makes Roy’s neck snap was he blinks wildly at her. His heart pounding as he scans her completely calm face with a soft smile on her face as she giggles at his baffled expression.
“Okay? That’s all you gotta say?”
“I mean sure I’m not a fan of the whole putting yourself in danger shtick, but if that’s the only downside to you, then I’m okay with it.” She says calmly before giving him a serious glare. “Just as long as the girls are never endangered.”
Roy couldn’t help but fall out of his chair and on his knees infront of her as he laughs. His hands pulling her into his lap as he enjoys the chill of relief as his body yearns for the reassurance of her touch. It wasn’t until he cupped her face that he realized just how intimate their position was.
Definitely not something friends should be doing….
But are they just friends?
“Roy…” She mumbles. Her eyes speaking to his soul as the exhaustion and months of connecting and yearning reach the apex. Or maybe it was the reflection of his own feelings bubbling up as he moves her hair away from her face.
“I promise I’ll never let anything happen to you or our girls…I can’t afford to lose them…or us.”
The first move wasn’t clear. The blur of teeth and tongue distracting him as their hands held the pair close. His hands adjusting her to straddle his lap as hers ran through his hair and over his strong shoulders. His mouth trailing down her jawline and caresses her throat as her hips began to grind into his.
“Aw, poor thing…” Roy coos as his hips rolled to meet hers. His eyes shining with adoration as he marks her smooth skin. “How long has it been since anyone took care of you?”
She rolls her eyes at his teasing before pulling his head back by his hair. “When was the last time you got took care of, Red?”
He glares playfully with a smirk as he says, “Don’t call me Red.”
She giggles as she presses a soft kiss to his cheek before trailing along his jawline. Her breath burning his soul as she whispers, “Then how about…baby?”
He rips her back away by her nape before crashing his lips onto hers. The desperation dewing the walls around them as their soft moans and movement of clothes made their company.
His hands hungry as he finally pulls away from her long enough to push off her sweatshirt. A groan of appreciation fills the space as he admires her body. Every visible scar, freckle, mole, stretch mark, and roll made him want to explore every story that lead her to his arms. But that’s for another time.
His mouth watered as he looks back up at her.
“So pretty, Ma…”
His prayer is followed by his mouth devouring her skin as he kisses her collarbone. Her feathery moans filling the space while his hands caresses her exposed torso. He trails down to the valley of her breasts before pushing the offending bra up so they spill out. Roy couldn’t resist kissing around her sensitive skin, teasing her as her hands tangle in the mess of ginger on his head.
“Baby please…” she whines as her hips roll impulsively on his.
Her underwear was impossibly uncomfortable. Her body burning like iron as her intimate parts tried to cool down. The friction of her jean covered core against the rough tackle gear of his suit did not help as his hand began to grope her other breast.
His chuckle vibrates against the globe of fat as his fingers pinch the stiffening nub.
“Can’t wait to get me in bed? My, you certainly are a romantic.”
Before she can shoot back at him, he withdraws completely from her chest and his hands roughly cup her thighs. In a swift motion, Roy picks her up as he stands up from the floor. The pair share a soft laugh as her brief shock and his amusement leads them to his bedroom.
Once he places her on the bed, (Y/N) sheds off her sweatshirt and bra as Roy whistles in appreciation.
“I love when you strip for me.” He jokes as lust clouded his vision. “Can you do that again but slower?”
She glares at him as she leans back onto her hands as she tilts her head. Mischief fills her eyes as she examines him up and down with her lip between her teeth.
“Then how about you put a show on for me since you want one?” She teases.
His smirk widens as he decides to follow her suggestion. Roy rolls his shoulders back before reaching to slowly unzip the jacket covering his suit. Making a show of pulling it off his arms before twirling it over his head and tossing it.
Laughing follows his movements as he slowly strips off his gear as her hungry and amused eyes followed every rolling muscle exposed to her.
“Damn…” She whispers as a nearly nude Roy begins to crawl on the bed towards her. His prominent bones straining against his boxers as she continues. “And I wondered why you didn’t have a girlfriend…”
He laughs as he cages her in his arms. His ginger hair acting as a curtain over his forehead as he shrugs above her. “Maybe I was waiting on the right one.”
Their lips meet again as their hands began to map out each other. Soon all the rest of the clothes joined the floor.
His erection bobbing between them as his eyes remains trained on hers. His fingers trailing down to her exposed sex, groaning as he runs a finger between her folds.
“Already wet? And without foreplay?” He asks as faux sympathy plays on his face. “My darling clearly neglected that she gets wet from a few kisses…”
“I’m not neglected…” She protests before she whimpers as the bite from his finger entering her unused cunt hits her.
“I wasn’t talking body you directly, baby.” He corrects as his finger thrusts softly along her fleshy walls. The lewd sounds of her moans mixed with her wet sex made him melt as she begs,
“Fuck…quit teasing already, you bastard…”
He decides to oblige by adding another finger to speed up his pace. The thumb on the other hand joining the fun as it rubbed patterns into her puffy clit.
“I got get you all nice and ready..” Roy mumbles as he leans down to press soft kisses on her stomach up to her breasts. The mixture of gentle pecks mixed with the harsh stimulation below driving his lover insane as her hips arched to meet his hands.
“You deserve all that I can give for being such a good mom .” He praises her as he feels her walls clench around his knuckles when he finds the spongy mass he was searching for.
He contradicts himself by abusing that with archer like precision as the coil roughly tightens in her gut. (Y/N)’s gasps and cries desperate for the climax as she grips the hard flesh of his back. Just as she was reaching the peak, he stops.
“Asshole!” She curses at him as he pulls out of her. He chuckles before licking the tip of his soiled finger. Her eyes burning onto his mouth as he groans at the taste.
“Sweet as I thought..” he praises as he uses the hand to pump his cock. He climbs on top of her as he continues. “I’m gonna have to have a better taste next time, but I need you too bad right now…”
She calms her raging breaths as she smiles softly. “Next time?”
Roy pulls her legs up to her chest as he hooks her ankles on his shoulders. His red hot tip played with her clit as he rubs it through her soaked folds. He chuckles at her hopeful voice as he leans down to press a soft peck to her lips.
“Of course,” Roy whispers as his tip catches the entrance. “I don’t think I can go back to being friends after this..”
He slowly pushes into her as her hands shoot onto him as best she could. With her legs pinned to her chest, she can only grasp his bicep and his lower back as she is forced to endure the painful stretch of her neglected cunt welcoming him.
A groan ripping in his throat as he finally seats himself fully into her before peppering kisses on her face.
“Was gonna ask you out on a nice date without the kids around…gonna see if we would be a good fit.” He mutters as his mind seems to run on blanks. His hips rolling to gain some friction in the tight confines of her walls.
Her little breathless moans encouraging him as Roy begins to thrust shallowly to work her open before he pulls out almost completely. He slams back into her befor continuing his non coherent comment.
“But fuck…I don’t regret this. God, if I knew you would look so fucking hot in my bed…” He groans as his head dips to bite along her neck. “And your pussy is so tight…It’s driving me crazy. I wonder how a sweet thing like you could like me…”
His cock messaging all the right nerves in her as (Y/N)’s nails clawed into him. Her moans turning to incoherent shrieks as his tip abuses her spot, remembering exactly where it was when he found it earlier. Her guts twisting at both the words and his abusing pace. The denied orgasm from earlier building back up as her desperation grew wilder.
“God, Roy…So full…so good.”
Fuck she looked pretty. Her lips wet with tears and sip as she cries. Her eyes blown out in addictive lust and watery tears. Roy couldn’t help but cup her jaw in his hand and kisses her. The now familiar taste of mint and nicotine making her more addicted as his tongue claimed every inch of hers. He pulls away as his groans start matching her whines as his hand snakes between them to rub her clit.
“Honey, I may have to fuck a baby into you…” He mumbles as he buries his face in her neck. Her walls responding in a vice grip as he roughens his pace to meet their impending climax. “You like that, pretty girl? Want me to knock you up and give Wren and Lian a little sibling? Give you a nice big family with a white picket fence? God, you’re such a sweet thing that I wouldn’t mind keeping you as my pretty little girlfriend…”
“Roy!” She whines as her body shakes. Her walls closing in on him as she finally reaches her peak. Her eyes rolling back as stars cross her vision before Roy slams into her one more time as his hot cum fills her welcoming womb.
The pair remain still for a moment as soft pecks were exchange. Roy gently pulls out before he helps his love stretch back out. His hands massaging her thighs before grabbing his abandoned jacket to wipe her thighs and himself clean.
“You wanna go out tomorrow?” Her cracked voice catching the archer off guard before he smiles.
“With or without children?”
“Without. They are at a sleep over and gonna go to the zoo tomorrow with their friends.”
“Then it’s a date.”
A/N: Okay I didn’t know how to end this because Ngl I was tired on working on this tbh. I hope y’all enjoyed reading this and let me know what you think. Comments and reblogs are encouraged.
@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT CONDONE MY WORKS TO BE STOLEN, PLAGIARIZED, COPIED, REPOSTED, OR TRANSFERRED ONTO OTHER BLOGS, ACCOUNTS, AND WEBSITES.
#roy harper x reader#roy harper#roy harper x you#arsenal x reader#arsenal#lian harper#Roy Harper fanfic#Arsenal fanfic#batman fanfic writer#red hood fanfic writer#red hood and the outlaws#simpingforheros
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Polyship Week - Blitzo/Stolas/Lucifer (Day 5):
Relationship Anarchy/"You're burning up!"/Arranged Marriage/Only One Bed
"Why the fuck do you guys get to go but we can't?!"
"Dad calm down. I don't like it either but you're a human and I'm an angel. We can't just go to Hell whenever we want. Our bodies probably wouldn't be able to handle it." Vaggie set a hand on her father's shoulder to try and calm him down.
"You think I wanna go?"
Messing with their bowtie, Lucifer couldn't help but feel anxious. This was only the second time that they would be seeing their father. The last time had been when they had accidently time traveled into Hell.
The only reason Lucifer had agreed to go was so that Charlie could meet her grandfather and see the unexpected beauty of Hell like they had.
"You can share my room, Charlie."
"Aww~ thank you, Via."
"Oh, oh! Me too! Me too!"
Watching the little girl jump around excitedly, Octavia picked her up with a laugh. "Sure Niffty. You too."
"Girl's night sleepover!"
"Yay!"
"What?! Why does she get to go?!"
"Did you forget that my dear Niffty is half demon?" Taking his little girl, Alastor set her on his head where she usually sat. "Besides, I doubt that you could handle her while I'm gone."
"Can we just get this over with?"
"Come on, Luci darling. At least pretend to be excited. How about showing us that beautiful smile?"
~
"Are you sure this is the room we're supposed to be in?"
"Of course, darling. This is your room after all. Hence the one bed."
Watching the two talk and unpack their bags, Alastor could feel his annoyance growing. This wouldn't be an issue if Stolas stayed in his own room or if Alastor's room hadn't been destroyed by that imbecile Vox in his absence. At least he could take out his frustrations on him later.
"Alastor. Are you going to unpack as well?"
"Uh... Stolas. Alastor isn't going to be all that keen on sharing a bed with the both of us. He isn't that big on touch."
"Oh. Oh dear. What should we do?"
Sighing, Alastor couldn't find it in him to stay upset at the situation. It wasn't their fault. Besides, they could still make this work.
"As long as you do not touch me Stolas, I shall be alright."
"Yay! I get to be in the middle!"
Laughing at his goofy and adorable partner, Stolas guided them to the bathroom with him so that Alastor could have some privacy to get ready for bed.
"Let us get changed so we can turn in for the night."
~
Flopping down in the middle of the bed, Lucifer had to admit that this visit wasn't as bad as they had been dreading. Especially since now, they were gonna be sleeping next to Alastor. It was a rare occasion since he didn't want anyone besides, Lucifer, Niffty, or Adam to touch him while he slept.
As Stolas settled in next to them, they tossed his book away. Lucifer knew that he would stay up all night reading if no one stopped him. Plus, they were feeling a little selfish tonight...
"Could you not throw my book please?" Amused by his partner's childish behavior, Stolas positioned them, so they were laying on their sides with his arms around them. "Better?"
"Much. Now we just need Alastor and we can go to sleep."
"I am just setting up my radio. Or are you going to throw that as well?"
"Oh, ha ha. Hurry up~"
"So demanding. Do not worry your highness I have finished."
Smooth and relaxing jazz music filled the room as Alastor got settled besides Lucifer on their other side. Hooking one of his fingers with Lucifer's, Alastor thought that he could get used to this sort of arrangement.
{1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7}
#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#lucifer morningstar#charlie morningstar#helluva boss octavia#hazbin hotel adam#vaggie hazbin hotel#niffty hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#helluva boss stolas#radioapple#stolas x lucifer#lucifer x stolas#i'm in love with the anti christ au#Polyshipweek24#polyshipweek
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okay here me out. abby teasing reader about having a crush on mike, and when he's around very 'subtle' teasing from abby to reader... SORRY IF THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT ITS BEEN ON MY MIND.
it makes sense! i was working on a little ficlet for the "mint" series and i think this works with it (,:
self care
a "mint" ficlet. read the og here: 🍫
wc: 2k tags: mint!mike and reader, fluff, no warnings, just cute stuff (:
mike lets out a long sigh as he turns the car off, rubbing his hands down his face. security work is exhausting, and while he understands working overnight shifts, he doesn't see how it's healthy.
he's always tired, always irritable, always ready to call it quits and say "fuck work", staying home until he's caught up on his winks.
it would be a dream for him, he thinks, but he knows it's not realistic. he's doing this to better his life, better abby's life; it would all be worth it in the end, he hoped.
he exits the car with no urgency, trotting his way to the front door. he's excited to see you and abby, eager to sit and eat breakfast with you guys, tell you about his night.
he turns the knob and it gives with no trouble, which makes his heart rate tick up. the door is never unlocked.
he bursts inside frantically, beginning to panic a bit when he sees that you aren't in your usual spot on the couch, cuddled into one of the blankets or sweeping your green mint wrappers into your hand. the tv wasn't on. there wasn't anything happening in the kitchen.
it was eerily quiet, too quiet for his liking.
"y/n?" he calls, wildly hanging his security vest and kicking off his shoes. "abby?"
mike wonders why the two of you aren't answering, beginning down the hall with his hands balled into anxious fists. what if something had happened to you two? what if he went into one of the rooms and found something undesirable, something that turned him frigid and reserved? what if someone had hurt you?
the light's on in the bathroom, framing the closed door in a fuzzy ring of yellow gold. mike hears voices, muffled but persistent, and music. it's all it takes for him to lean against the door, grip the doorknob and count down before he charges into the wood, slamming the door open and yelling into the bathroom.
you and abby squeal, bodies wracked with fear. you both have green paste all over your faces, spread around your eyes and mouths in a precise layer. you're holding onto your chest as you try to calm down, tapping on your phone to stop the music you're playing. abby heaves angrily, marching over to mike and giving him a moderately powered shove. "not funny, mike!"
"i wasn't trying to be funny," he utters, huffing along with you two. "i thought someone had broken in or something. the door was unlocked and i called for both of you but you didn't answer. i was terrified." you frown, shaking your head in disappointment at yourself.
"i'm really sorry, mike. i took the trash out earlier and i guess i forgot to lock the door when i came back in. i would never try to put abby in harm's way."
"no, no, it's okay," mike returns, taking a deep-rooted sigh of relief now that he knows you two are safe. "i know you wouldn't. mistakes happen, i just lost it a little. wouldn't want anything to ever happen to you two."
your cheeks heat up at "you two". you're flattered that he cares about your safety at the same level that he cares about abby's, or at all really. you knew that abby meant everything to him, but you wondered just how much you meant to him, exactly.
"that's totally understandable. sorry i didn't hear you calling either, we were kind of caught up in the music and face masks," you chuckle shyly, pulling the sleeves of the forest green sweatshirt you were wearing over your hands. it's mike's sweatshirt, one that he thinks he remembers giving to abby sometime ago. you look good in it.
"y/n was teaching me about 'self care', and how doing little things for myself is important. we started with skincare, see?" abby places her hands under her chin, using them to hold her face as she smiles.
it hadn't been your plan to use your $40 face mask on abby this morning, but you didn't mind. you'd been in the bathroom, humming along to the soothing ambient music that floated from your phone speakers and smothering your face in green like you'd be starring in Wicked when she appeared in the doorframe, bleary eyed and lethargic. "may i pee?"
you exited the bathroom and closed the door behind you, opening it back up once you heard the toilet flush and the faucet run. "what's on your face?" she asked, shaking the water off of her hands.
"it's a face mask. this one is my personal favorite. it's specifically for moisturizing the skin, but there are so many other ones that do different things. i do them sometimes as a part of self care."
"what's self care?"
"i can explain it to you. want to try some of the mask after you brush your teeth?" she nodded happily, beginning to shed any trace of sleepiness.
"my skin is a bit dry." you laughed at her, helping her with her toothbrush. after, you'd sat her on the bathroom counter, scooping product with your middle and ring fingers and smearing it across abby's delicate skin.
"so, it's just like...taking care of yourself? literal self care?" you nodded, filling in whatever gaps you could find.
"mhm. just doing small things to make yourself feel better, happy, more fulfilled. we all need to take care of ourselves, living these lives. it's important to remember to take time for yourself when you need it, okay? taking breaks is good. humans need rest."
"mike never rests," she admitted, pouting at the thought of mike working all the time, tired and distant from the strain on his mental and physical health. "i don't even think he knows what rest is."
"i'm sure he does, he's just working hard to make sure you're never in need. he cares about you a lot, and wants you to be safe, and happy, and taken care of."
"which is nice," abby muttered, turning to look at her face in the mirror. she smiled, humming in contentment before facing you again. "i just wish he would go do something. take off from work and go out. go on a date." you jovially scoff at her words, tickling at her abdomen.
"what do you know about dating, huh? does mike even like dates?"
"i think he'd like a date with you." your entire body flushed with mortification, and you stepped back from abby, stumbling over your words with nervous laughter.
"t-t-there's no way he would, abby. that's silly. i don't even like him like that, it would be unprofessional..." you bit at your bottom lip, avoiding abby's eyes.
"oh please. you're my unpaid babysitter, not a salaried nanny," she reassured curtly, and you frowned at her, playfully insulted. "plus, i know you have a crush on him, y/n. it's so obvious. i saw you nearly die when he gave you those mints. i'm sure he see stuff like that too if he wasn't so clueless about everything."
you nodded, gnawing at your bottom lip so hard you drew blood. "well, jeez, thank you for the exposé, abby. still, i don't think he feels the same way. he has no time to think about me." abby only squinted at you, her lips pursed with amusement.
"or so you think." you'd waved her off, pivoting the subject by showing her your skincare collection, explaining all the different tubes and bottles. you'd fanned them out over the counter, grouping things by step.
"and this is vitamin c...usually comes before your moisturizer and helps with dark spots, dullness...you have to wear sunscreen when you wear it, but you should be wearing sunscreen everyday anyway bec----"
mike had burst in at this moment, scaring the shit out of both you and abby. how you'd forgotten to lock the door, you didn't know, but you're glad mike had gotten home before anyone else could enter.
now, mike just tiredly returns his sister's smile. "that's nice, abs."
"yeah, was telling y/n that you should try it. you need to rest and take care of yourself." mike nods, pursing his lips in that tickled way that abby did earlier.
"that so? do a couple of face masks, take a bath, and make some tea to renew myself?"
"sounds like a plan to me," abby cheers, looking towards you. "add going on a date to the list and now, we're talkin'."
"a date?" mike ridicules, shaking his head at abby's frivolous suggestion. "a date with who?"
"i may know someone," abby teases, winking over at you so unmistakably that you're sure you're going to combust with the number of times you've flushed hot. "someone not too far, in fact."
mike can tell that abby is killing you, prodding at your private, adult feelings and decides to make her stop. "okay, abs, that's enough. wash your face while i go talk to y/n, okay? and no eavesdropping."
"i can try, but not promise."
"abby," mike asserts, and she shrinks under his serious stare, mumbling, "okay, okay, jeez."
you follow mike out into the living room, once again tugging at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. it drapes over you nicely, about one size too big, and the color looks so nice against your skin, rich and earthy.
"thanks for looking after her, as always," he commends, eyes still trained on you as you return his kindness with a soft "yeah, always. sorry again about the door." but mike dismisses your apology with a wave.
after a moment, he says, "that sweatshirt's nice," rubbing his fingers against his stubbled chin.
you drop your gaze down, smiling at the clothing item. you liked it a lot. it was super comfy and smelled like their place, pacifying you through the late night and early morning. "oh thanks. i left my sweater at home and abby let me borrow this one. it's so cute on her but it's super big."
"yeah," mike snickers, letting out some air through his nose. "that's 'cause it's mine." your body's color is replaced with flaming red, burning from the top of your forehead to the soles of your feet. how many more times could you be embarrassed this morning?
"oh my god, i'm so sorry. here, i can give it back," you panic, beginning to pull the item over your head, careful to not get your face mask on it. mike stops you with a hand to your elbow, a gentle graze that doesn't move even when you have the sweatshirt back over your torso.
"hey, hey, no need. i gave it to her but i like how it looks on you. you look really beautiful...face mask and all." you blush vehemently, whimpering out "thank you" and bringing your thumb to your mouth to gnaw at so you don't say something else you might regret. you're sure mike can read your jitteriness, and you try to slip into a cool girl attitude when his eyes toss coyness your way.
you'd been babysitting abby for a while, and something about the way you continued to despite the hours and not being paid softened mike. of course he intended on paying you, but even when he did, he would always remember you as so kind, so generous; such a beautiful soul in a beautiful body.
"so...about that date?" he proposes, and the two of you hear a hushed, "yes!" around the corner of the wall. you both turn towards it, catching abby as she runs across the hall to her room.
"abby!"
"i said try!"
how flipping CUTE! i love cute shit like this, and after writing so much smut, it was nice to write something oh so sweet (((: gonna be posting smut next though lmao, just something slight, something slight. hope you enjoyed!
faire's seedlings ✿
@leahdhopkins4321-@pyr0-kai-@angstywhore-@sunazroo-@nyxthoughtss-@mirophobic-@fayethor-@marixsimps-@regretfulme-@ithinkitszeph-@707xn-@cattt777-@violetta-ximena-@amnesia33-@topnerd03-@fastnights-@laprvphette-@savage-aespa-@mfdxz-@0-tatiana-0-@dusstory
#fnaf#fnaf movie#fnaf fic#mike schmidt#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt fluff#faire’s (mint) mike schmidt <3#faire answers asks#josh hutcherson#i love sweet shit like this#makes me want to be in a relationship#but only like 4 out of 7 days of the week#people are exhausting lmao#faire is writing stuff
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Today's trick that is making me go to the gym:
I mixed up my protein shake already and it gets gross after a few hours
#technically I am due an extra rest day I only workout 4 out of 7 currently#but I'm toying with AB-rest-AB-rest#we're seeing each other and seeing how things go#and if we want to get serious#plus if I'm too tired tomorrow I can take my second rest day then right#WEH I went up to full plates this week and I'm working in another chest set because I want DEM TIDDIES and I'm working hard#but I'm so so tired all the time guys it's BRUTAL out here#I did go on an hour bikeride yesterday so like. How much resting have I really been doing really
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Every time Prapai gives Sky medicine, he's narcoleptic inside 5 minutes.
#fun story: in 2018 we went to interview ex-president jimmy carter#and I had a bit of an odd feeling in my throat#august 24 2018 i remember that date well#because that was the first signs of an illness that annihilated me#i blacked out for most of the month of september- i only have very sparse memories#i had a strange kind of pneumonia the doctor hadn't seen before#and over those 6-7 months they threw every single anti-anything they could at me#IDK if I slept so well because of the knockout effects of all the antibiotics and antivirals#or because I had a recurring fever and a chronic brutal cough for 6-7 months and was terribly weak by the end#but i was sleeping so deeply the more pills they added#and now i know i can function with a 102 fever on and off for months on end#everyone- family and coworkers- also made fun of me for insisting on wearing a mask but guess what bitches#when the pandemic rolled around i still had 2 unopened boxes from being sick a year before and those were worth more than toilet paper#lita#love in the air#prapai#sky#prapaisky#true facts: I don't remember writing one of my own fics#it was during the blackout month and i refuse to read it because i think it's funnier that i don't know what it's about#i also had to work- it was one of our biggest events that we do every 4 years#two weeks straight of 14 hour days with no weekends#and i was there every single day#i have no memory whatsoever and when we did the event again in 2022 the organizers kept saying 'oh wow you're alive!'#i like to say i had the BEST time because it's a tedious af event and everyone is surly by the end#but from MY pov i was trapped in dense fog and couldn't breathe; trapped in that twilight feeling when you're neither awake nor unconscious#and then when it passed I had a nice paycheck in my account without any of the mental strain of working for it
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This is a start, anyway. Lots of research and work ahead.
#still unsure what i can do when adhd brain doesnt let me do my hobbies in the little free time i have#but in the other hand if i can be sure that if i got a health insurance plan thru the ACA on the state market#that it would still cover me even if the ACA gets slashed - including thru the following enrollment period (that they wont be able to drop#me due to 'preexisting condition'. then i can leave my job and have a lot more time to be active and involved with this stuff.)#like I'm gonna do what i can anywY and I'm not gonna assume i cant do anything bc i have a strong motivation w this so adhd brain might be#chill w letting me do something#it feels like theres no time left tho but I'm trying to ignore that#but i just got my work schedule for Thanksgiving week and between the wk before and wk of I'm working 7 days straight. bc I'm dumb and#volunteered to be the one to work on Thanksgiving Day (why. bc i didnt want to make the 60+ yr old do 7+ days in a row or the 20-yr old.)#(shouldve asked if the kid was willing tho tbh. I'm gonna be burned tf out so badly.)#and i shouldve asked for the rest of the week off tbh but only got the 29th and 30th off. boo.#anyway abd then its december and we're gonna be busy busy with stupid Xmas stuff plants decor etc...#I'm just. worried I'll blink and itll be january.#but lets try lets do..something somehow#id like to find a way to squeeze the eye dr. vaccines. and dental extractions and healing time in before January#as well as getting involved in this stuff#and trying to overcome my intense social anxiety to do so#and looking into health insurance stuff#and RESTING too. need to do that. somehow.#but my whole November is booked now bc of work.#id love a 4 day workweek instead of 5 at least tbh but cant be floral specialist if I'm not full time amd cant stay on the insurance thru#work if I'm not fulltime either#and somehwere in the midst is...thanksgiving hah. and hanukkah which is Very important especially noe#now*#one story of hanukkah is of a small group fighting back against oppressors and succeeding#so.#idk where I'm going with this. but this day off is half over and.. i did this list thing yesterday actually but added to it today.#today ive also...devoured all current pages of a miraculous ladybug fancomic. put up one load of laundry. and opened the door#dor some fresh air and commection grounding etc..#i should call the eye dr guy so i can get a basic eye exam sooner than later and get new lenses ordered bc my glasses are at least 2 yrs ood
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fellas im gonna be honest idk how many more 11 hour days i have left in me
#i speak#ugh little vent ahead in the tags#the problem is i need money. which means i need a job all year. but that job is teaching piano and i cant just stop when i get my summer jo#and i actually spend more time at work than i do studying during class terms. so its longer more exhausting days in the summer#like i can plan my study schedule around busy teaching days and evenly distribute the workload. mostly. but work is the same every day#and the thing is currently - not including the commute to my students houses- im really only teaching 4 hours a week. with commute its 6 ma#so i could take more on. and if i want to start saving up for when i move out i kinda do need to do that#but the best option then would be to start teaching on saturdays. spread out the work. and NOT do 9-8 every day of the week#but scheduling things with friends is already hard enough when i have free weekends. and i need the break#but also now im paying my mom rent because shes unemployed and financially irresponsible so i REALLY need the extra money.... ugh#just two more years of this then 5-7 years of low grad school wages and two years of residency then i never need to worry about money#or working more than 8 hour days#ever again!!!!
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reasons i havent been writing number 1...
(spoiler: its an hour long again)
BUT!
good news! i know we've really just been teasing you and stringing you along here BUT! BUT BUT BUT!
ive started my ftf (face-to-face) college classes! WHICH MEANS! I AM GOING TO BE WRITING A LOT INSTEAD OF PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS! (dw it's how i learn best/stave off the boredom)
now i think i'll write a chapter for my WGTKITD? fic (LMK fandom) first just because writing about the complex character relationships and family angst does something to my brain
BUT AFTER THAT! i will start getting myself back into the Burning Thistles GROOVE!
#it doesnt help that we like left off on a filler chapter i think gjksdfgkjsdf#our writing speed deffo wont be as fast as it was in hs bcus i only have 4 college days and then 3 work days#and i have 3 classes one day and 1 class the next and then repeat yknow#sooo its looking like my 1st class on the 3 class day and lunch are gonna be my prime writing times#but i likely wont get any on the 1 class day because its Algebra#and if im writing during math it means i am incredibly depressed/struggling/crying over math and want to ignore it#so really this is 2 writing days out of 7 a week. i can work with that but only one scenes/chapters i really like#what was the last chapter even. scourge had a baby#lolling thoughts#burning thistles#burning thistles au#update#bt update
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120 books a year? yeah u not retaining SHIT
#even in my voracious reading era i probably never got higher than the 20s?#at the library they give u 2 weeks for books i would check out maybe 3-4 and only read 2 and need an extension#so maybe 20 something books a year at MOST?#ive read 13 this year so far and thats only bc i read a LOT of novellas#like 7 books under 150 pages#and even those took me days to read and absorb like what#quantity readers piss me off bc how are u judging other ppl for taking their time?#its not abt the amount its abt enjoying the journey!
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I'm being like astoundingly social lately. Starting from Thursday last week, I saw my girlfriend, then spent time with family on Friday, then saw my girlfriend again on Saturday + some of her friends, then watched a movie and drew stuff with friends on Sunday, then had a session 0 for new dnd on Monday, then watched anime with a friend on Tuesday. Off day on Wednesday. Then on THURSDAY I hung out with my girlfriend, had a study session with friend group (with mixed success at the studying part), AND watched anime with a friend again. And then today, watched a different anime with a different friend.
And TOMORROW I'm going to a concert with family and a friend, Sunday I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, then Monday I've got dnd thing again (probably? Need to double check). And then potentially more hangouts to come.
It's insane. What is this new social me. I don't think I've ever hung out with this many different people in such a short time before.
#speculation nation#it's fun though i probably will need to slow down a bit to not tire myself out bfkshfkd#the concert and the family thing last weekend are not normal occurences at least.#the movie and the study group were both from my discord server. tho with mostly different sets of people.#i think im at like... in just the past week ive hung out with... well...#3 on friday (plus saying hi to others at the temple but i dont rly spend time with them)#7 on saturday... i think it was like.. six? on sunday? i think. then Uhhhh#4 on monday. i think. 1 on tuesday. thursday had 3 new with 3 repeats from earlier in the week#and today was another person i hung out with earlier in the week#which puts me at TWENTY FOUR....... different people ive hung out with this week....holy shit....#granted on saturday 6 of them were my girlfriend's friends and im not very good at talking in a group irl#so i mostly talked to my girlfriend there. but even if U didnt count them that's still 18 people i hung out with#crazy. mind boggling. im a total introvert so this is like unprecedented.#I SWEAR I DONT NORMALLY COUNT PEOPLE LIKE THIS..... im just like. trying to put it into context for myself#and surprisingly i dont feel That exhausted by it... it helps that only 3 of these days had in person interactions#bc thats more tiring to me than just talking online. physical space takes more energy to emote etc etc#i think this is good for me honestly. spending time with people. not just wasting my life away with video games. you know.#tho i do need to balance it with writing.. i havent written anything since i posted the itnl update#and i rly need to get that reverse bang fic finished....hmmmmmmmm#ah well. i'll try to get lots of writing done next week. next week for sure..!!
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rationally. I know my job has not changed at all its just that I have I think become steadily more irritable/mood disordered over the past like. month. that being said I HATE WORKING NIGHT SHIFTS it's like I can't do anything bc I might do too much and get tired and then I still have to go to fucking work. tired. but if I don't do anything before work I get even more depressed bc then it feels like all I do is go to work.
#and I love how I can't just work mornings bc there's 3 other people who refuse to work nights or weekends not even to help out#and they pitch a fit if they don't get 'their' shifts every week#and here lately I've been coming in and they haven't done like any of their fucking side work so like.#I'm coming to work. tired. and doing their jobs for them. and they get to grab their money and go home and I have to stay there. tired.#and they're still getting their good steady schedule despite literally not doing their fucking jobs!!#plus they have been over scheduling night shift like crazy so even tho we get more busy than in the morning we end up making less in tips#bc it's getting split between like 6 or 7 people vs usually 4 MAX on day shift#I did change my schedule so theoretically I'll be working 1 night and 4 days per week#tho I am scared instead I'll just be getting fewer shifts bc the morning only angels have to have everything they want. I guess we'll see
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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I really need to get better and not want to hurt myself
#i had a self-harm relapse 3 days ago and my ankles are still bleeding. this is ridiculous.#in my 7 years of on and off self-harm i've never had this much bleeding#yes the goal was to make myself bleed but it has gotten all over my sheets and my comforter and soaked through an entire bath towel#this is not a sustainable way of living#in order to stop hurting myself i need to actually want to stop hurting myself but idk how to do that#i didn't self-harm for the entire 4 weeks i was in residential this summer but that was only because i didn't have access to anything sharp#i dont know what to do. i know a million skills and i sometimes try to use them but there are times where i simply dont want to use them#like that self-harm relapse#im so sick of the blood. but i like seeing it when im doing it. there are times when i want to make myself bleed.#it does feel really good to self-harm sometimes. and i do want to hurt myself.#im doing much better than i was this summer. so much less suicidal but im still so depressed that i want to inflict physical harm on my body#i dont know how to get out of this depression. the only options really left are tms or ketamine or ect#i want to start tms but it's just so much work making appointments and calls#what if i do tms and it helps? i would step down from php to iop and then outpatient therapy. but i cant go back to school until next fall#anyways don't self-harm because you may end up deeply annoyed by it 7 years later#tw: self harm
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never be a double major, kids. it is not fun. it is not... fun...
#what the fuck mary#like everyone who does languages and lit at my uni has 10+ exams cause we're double majors#so tell me why we gotta abide by the same rules and have the same 3 weeks#as all the other ppl who only have one major and therefore only 5-6 exams#i remember last semester cause i was talking to my dad (who's getting his degree now and im so proud of him 🥳)#and he's an engineering major like shit's hard but he was fr there like yeah i got the teaching extra course too and i got like 6 exams#and he had one at the beginning of the week and one at the end of the week#meanwhile i fr took 4 exams in three days... like... that's illegal... literally...#and now i got a nice 3 exams 3 days bit with like 4 days and 1 exam break and then 5 in 5 days like wtfffff#i fr refuse to talk to my dad this winter break cause i WILL start killing if he talks about having 2 exams per week again 😭😭😭#and it CAN get worse cause one of my profs fr didn't show up to the course like... the entire semester so we aint got a date for his exam#when he puts it on the government issued day off cause he's allergic to the last week of finals and out of dates in the other 2 weeks >>>>#(the allergic to the last bit... i swear most of my profs gotta be allergic to it cause why tf do i have only ONE exam that week...#i got like 12-14 of those bitches and yet only ONE over the course of 7 days????????????)#anyways...
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