#but once again it's so so vague. the manga should be called “interpret it as you will” honestly

[corfisers]

this page still makes me lose my mind specifically from the gender perspective. no i can't articulate why, it just does.

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

you weren’t supposed to hear that (F! reader)

A collection of instances where your roommate hears you moaning their name whilst your fingers are between your legs. Or your neighbor. Or maybe you walk in on them saying your name. Take your pick 😈

warnings: NSFW, manga spoilers (in terms of what the boys do post timeskip) words: 9.7k (oops)

a/n: wow it’s been awhile since I wrote one of these!! This has been half finished for a while and i finally got the inspiration to complete it. please enjoy!! 💖

Other parts: Kuroo | Sakusa

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

Being Ushijima’s roommate is fairly simple. He’s easy to get along with once you get past his jarring frankness and strict regime. Seriously, the guy never changes his routine; working out at 6am, breakfast at 8, leaving for practice at 9, home at 5, dinner at 7, and in bed by 9 o’clock. He’s a machine, but you don’t mind his predictability. It certainly makes your life easier being able to plan around his tried-and-true schedule.

You saw his ad for a roommate a few months ago when you were desperate to get out of your parents’ house and into the world. They weren’t too keen on the idea of you living with a man, but upon meeting Ushijima, they changed their minds quickly. Neither of them able to believe that stoic Ushijima Wakatoshi would ever lay a hand on you. Plus, the deal was far too good to pass up, he is seriously underselling the room you’re currently renting; and there’s the bonus that he’s frequently absent at away games, leaving the entire apartment for you to enjoy alone.

You learned quickly to keep your mouth shut on who exactly your roommate is, never inviting anyone over anymore in fear of them finding out from the various volleyball paraphernalia Ushijima so sparsely decorates the apartment with. It became difficult for you to tell if people you just met actually liked you, or if they just wanted a glimpse of the infamous Ushijima Wakatoshi and maybe an autograph. And don’t even get you started on his fangirls that he’s so oblivious about.

To your surprise, he was indifferent about having a roommate of the opposite sex. You thought for sure he’d try to ‘keep your honor’ or some shit like that, but all he’d asked you was what your job was to make sure you can pay rent, if you were tidy, and if you didn’t mind being alone. He’d seemed satisfied with your answers, and you’d moved in the following week.

The first and only time Ushijima has someone over, you get home from work surprised to see an interesting looking character standing in the kitchen across from him. They both look up at you, Ushijima giving you a slight nod in greeting while a wide smile spreads across his friends’ face.

“Ushiwaka! You didn’t mention your roommate is that pretty!”

Ushijima blinks as if he’s never considered that about you before, while you chuckle. “Ushi…waka?” You don’t think you’ve ever heard anyone refer to him in such a casual manner before.

The red-head beams, slinging an arm around Ushijima that he surprisingly allows. “Yup, me and Wakatoshi have been friends since high school!”

Now it’s your turn to blink, never having expected Ushijima to have friends outside of volleyball. Especially not ones who call him by his first name. In fact, you don’t even know if he considers any of his teammate’s friends either. He doesn’t spend any time with them outside of volleyball (that you know of) and so far, this is the first person he’s brought to the apartment since you moved in.

“Well,” the visitor nudges Ushijima in the side, who’s expression hasn’t changed throughout this entire interaction. “Are you going to introduce me or what?”

Finally, Ushijima speaks, his deep voice rumbling through your chest as he says, “This is Tendo, we played volleyball together in high school.” He doesn’t show it, but he notices your piqued interest at that information.

“Oh?” You say, “Do you still play?”

Tendo waves his hand dismissively, “Nah, it wasn’t for me. And I’m nothing compared to golden boy over here.”

You try to hide your amusement. This is definitely not what you were expecting from one of Ushijima’s friends. Tendo is rather enjoyable and chatty, much unlike the stone of a man sitting beside him.

“Tendo is a chocolatier in Paris,” Ushijima supplies.

Now you can’t hide your surprise. “Wow! That’s really amazing. What are you doing in Japan then?”

“Just visiting,” he beams. “And of course, I had to see my best friend Wakatoshi-kun.”

“Are you going to his game tomorrow?” You ask, ignoring the way Ushijima’s attention focuses on you. He didn’t think you paid much attention to his volleyball schedule besides when he’s going to be away.

Tendo nods excitedly. “Wouldn’t miss it! You should come too!”

You open your mouth to give some excuse, but then close it again at Tendo’s expectant expression. You bite your lip nervously; in the time you’ve been living with Ushijima you’ve never once actually seen him play. There’s a part of you that avoids it, fearful you might become one of his dreaded fangirls. But you can’t refuse Tendo’s invitation, and to Ushijima’s surprise, you agree to attend.

Clapping his hands together Tendo says, “We get to sit in Ushiwaka’s special seats! Maybe I’ll bring some chocolates for us to snack on…” And when he sees your eyes light up at that, he smiles again, “Chocolate for the lady, done.”

You laugh, and then Tendo is seeing himself out, telling you he can’t wait to see you both tomorrow. And once he’s gone, you can’t help feeling like you don’t know what to with yourself now. Not with Ushijima’s stare boring into your back. After a minute he says, “You don’t have to come.”

And if this had been the first week you’d known him, you might’ve taken that a little personally. But knowing him, he thinks he’s just stating something. He doesn’t see how it can be interpreted as him not wanting you there. “No, it sounds fun! And Tendo seems nice.”

“Tendo is very kind,” he states, and you have to resist the urge to chuckle at him. Ushijima is not a man of words and if that had come out of anyone else’s mouth you would’ve thought they were little strange. But in the months of living with him, despite your limited interactions, you’ve gotten used to his mannerisms.

Looking away from him, you start retreating down the hallway to the safety of your room, but before you disappear you say one more thing. “Plus, I’ve never seen you play.” Then you’re gone, not to be seen for the rest of the night. You don’t see him watch you until you’re out of sight. If you had, you would’ve been shocked by his dumbfounded expression at how the small smile you gave him made his heart stutter for a moment.  

Ushijima has to leave much earlier than you do for the game, but he informs you that Tendo will be by to pick you up and go to the game together. Then, for the first time probably ever, he bids you goodbye and tells you he’ll see you afterwards.

Tendo comes by the apartment a few hours later, sporting an Ushijima jersey and a box of chocolates he asks to hide in your bag. For having just met him yesterday, he easily leads the conversation, asking you all sorts of things—though he seems particularly interested in your relationship with Ushijima. You try to assure him it’s nothing. Really, you aren’t even sure if you can consider Ushijima your friend. Right now, you’re pretty much strictly roommates and that’s it.

When you let it slip that you’ve never seen Ushijima play, Tendo is shocked. “Really? Not even on TV or anything?”

You shake your head. “Nope! I guess I never thought of it.” The lie slips through your teeth easily and Tendo doesn’t bat an eye at it.

Though he does grin telling you, “You’re in for a treat then! Have you ever watched volleyball at all?”

Your regretfully admit to him that no—you’ve never seen a game. You do vaguely remember the rules from high school, but they’re a bit fuzzy now. Tendo tells you not to worry and spends the rest of the train ride to the stadium filling you in on all the aspects of volleyball. And the more he talks, the more excited you get.

When you finally enter the stadium, Tendo is amusingly proud to show off your VIP tickets to be allowed entrance to the special seats reserved solely for Ushijima’s guests. To your delight, they’re some of the best seats in the house and you and Tendo get to work on the chocolates you snuck in while you wait for the game to start. Already the stadium is buzzing with excitement and you can feel your own continue to grow.

Meanwhile, Ushijima hasn’t said a word that he has visitors today. So, it comes as a complete surprise to his teammates when a chorus of cheers erupts from his seats when he enters the stadium. He doesn’t take note of how shocked his teammates are—he’s never had any spectators before. And none of them ever expected one of them to be a girl.

“So, who’re your friends?” Heiwajima asks during warm-ups, nudging Ushijima in the side and motioning his head towards you and Tendo.

“Isn’t that Tendo-san?” Kageyama notes, his own eyes up in the stands.

Without looking upwards, Ushijima replies, “It is.”

Heiwajima rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we aren’t so interested in him as we are the beauty sitting next to him.”

Now Ushijima lifts his attention, eyes drifting to you. He hasn’t told anyone on the team he has a roommate. Not because he has any reason to hide you, but there has never been a reason for him to bring you up. So, he doesn’t think much of it when he says, “That’s my roommate.” And then introduces you.

Everyone on the teams’ eyes nearly bug out of their heads at that information.

“Ushijima, you bastard!”

His brow furrows. Why is he a bastard? You’re just his roommate. And he never lied to anyone about you, nobody ever asked.

“Keeping that a secret from us this whole time!”

He ponders that. He wasn’t really trying to keep any secret. “It’s not a secret,” he says. “You never asked.”

The team guffaws at him and continues to grill him about you until Hirugami claps his hands and tells everyone to focus on the match. They’ll have plenty of time to discuss Ushijima’s secret roommate later. Again, Ushijima tries to explain it you were never a secret, but Hirugami brushes him off and tells him to start spiking warm-ups.

It isn’t hard for him to ignore you and Tendo during the game. He’s used to having nobody here for him, so he just treats it like any other day. It’s nothing special, he’ll play the way he usually does. Meanwhile, up in the stands, you can’t keep your eyes off him. You finally see why he works so hard, and maybe understand him a bit better.

He loves volleyball, you know that—but seeing him in action really drives it home. He’s a machine. Every time he serves or spikes you swear the other team’s arms are going to rip off from the force of the ball. And the sound that ricochets in the stadium when the ball connects solidly with the floor is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It’s like a clap of thunder rattling your bones and before you know it, you’re cheering loudly alongside Tendo with no qualms.

It’s exciting being here. You can feel your heart racing in your chest each time the Adlers or the other team is at a critical point, and sometimes you catch yourself holding your breath in anticipation for the outcome. You never thought watching a sport could be so thrilling.

And Ushijima is incredible. You suspected as much, but actually watching him for the first time is something else. You can’t help gobbling up the sight of him, his powerful thighs thrusting him into the air when he jumps, his biceps on display when his hand connects with the ball—and above it all, that sharp look in his eyes that sends goosebumps prickling down your spine without your permission. If Tendo notices you shamelessly ogling your roommate at all, he doesn’t comment.

He's oblivious to the fact he’s actually playing a lot more intensely than he usually does. Which some of his teammates never imagined possible. And most of them, besides the clueless ones alongside Ushijima, have a pretty good idea what’s different about this game. Though they can’t pinpoint if it’s just a result of having spectators in general, or if it’s you specifically.

The Adlers come out victorious after four hard sets, winning the first and second, but then having to snag the win in the fourth. You watch as the team gets swarmed by reporters looking for a post-game interview and Tendo tugs on your arm telling you that Ushijima is going to meet you by the locker room. You must give him a surprised look because he holds up the card dangling around his neck with a grin. “VIP, remember?” You giggle and follow him out.

In the locker room, Heiwajima and others try desperately to invite him, you, and Tendo out with them after the game. But he has to decline, you three already have plans. And he doesn’t wait around to see their disappointed expressions as he heads out of the room to look for you and Tendo. He finds the two of you nearby and once you catch sight of him, a smile splits your face in two.

“That was amazing, Ushijima! I’ve never had so much fun watching a sport before!” You gush once he’s in earshot.

“Volleyball is very fun.” He nods as the three of you head towards the exit. Ushijima purposefully avoids the spots he knows he is likely to be ambushed by reporters or fans, opting for a back exit instead that he sometimes uses when he wants to make a quiet escape.

“I had no idea being left-handed was such an advantage! Tendo told me it really throws people off apparently.”

Tendo sneaks him a smile and then throws an arm around his shoulder. “So, where is the great Ushiwaka takin’ us for dinner?”

You end up at a nice restaurant not too far away, and of course Ushijima gets recognized a couple times being this close to the stadium. He politely agrees to autographs and declines photos, seemingly unaware to the fact they’re just taking them secretly when they return to their tables. And while you’re waiting for your food to arrive, you can’t seem to stop talking about volleyball. Admitting that you’ll probably watch a few more of his games from home now and even cover your face in embarrassment when Tendo suggests you get your own Ushijima jersey to wear in support.

It’s then that Ushijima realizes he very much enjoys listening to you talk about what you thought of volleyball. Though he does feel heat creeping up his neck at the thought of you wearing one of his jerseys. All the while, Tendo is sitting beside you smirking up a storm, and Ushijima can’t for the life of him place why.

After dinner, when you’re walking a bit ahead of them and out of earshot, Tendo nudges him playfully in the side. “She’s pretty great, right?”

He looks at your back, expression unchanging. “She’s a good roommate.”

Tendo groans dramatically. “No blockhead—like, she’s pretty great, if you know what I mean.”

He blinks. “Do you want to ask her out?” Tendo can’t help slapping himself on the forehead. Who was he to think that Ushijima has any idea you are available, and he has a very high chance with you?

“Not me,” Tendo spells out slowly. “You.”

“I don’t want to ask her out.”

Tendo’s thin brows lift. “Are you sure about that?”

Tendo doesn’t miss his slight hesitation before he says, “Yes.”

And he doesn’t—you’re his roommate, and a good one. He likes having you around, but not the way Tendo seems to think.

But Tendo isn’t convinced. “Okay~,” he sing-songs before skipping up to loop his arms through yours and make you laugh about something. Ushijima thinks about that for a few minutes, why doesn’t Tendo believe him?

~

When you first moved in, it took a few weeks to get accustomed to each other. But once you figured out his schedule it became a lot easier. You know exactly when to hide in your room if you want to avoid him and when to come out once he’s gone. After going to his volleyball game, you especially try to avoid him during the times he’s walking down the hallway towards the shower, damp with sweat from a workout. Your brain can’t seem to function seeing him slick with the shine of sweat, his hair clinging to his forehead, and a towel draped around his neck—it’s too much for you, as much as you hate to admit.

But one week, you swear he’s on a warpath to make you a stuttering, flustered mess. Despite knowing the fact you’re certain Ushijima has no clue he can have that effect on people, much less do it on purpose. But every single day he’s waltzing around the apartment without a shirt on and while he doesn’t seem to see the problem with it, you don’t think your heart can take it much more.

And it’s the final straw when you see him a few days later, a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin as he saunters across the apartment from his home gym towards the bathroom in the hallway. All while you’re standing dumbfounded in the kitchen trying really hard not to get caught staring at his enormous biceps or the way the shine of sweat accentuates the dips of his abdomen. It’s in this moment you can truly understand why he has so many fans despite his rather stone-like demeanor.

“You have got to put a shirt on,” you blurt when he’s halfway across, knowing this will turn into some dangerous territory if he keeps walking around the apartment half-naked.

He stops in his tracks, his head cocking the only indication he’s confused by your statement. “I don’t want to wear a sweaty shirt,” he says by way of explanation. He doesn’t seem to notice your flustered expression. “I might catch a cold.”

You resist the urge to groan and slap yourself on the forehead. “Fine, then I’m wearing whatever I want around the apartment,” you say, determined to make him realize why he can’t just walk around like that. Though knowing Ushijima, you’ll never get through that thick skull of his.

And as you suspect, he simply replies, “Alright.” Before disappearing into the hallway and the bathroom to take a shower.

You lower your forehead to rest it on the cool countertop, shaking your head at how dense he really is. And you’re beginning to realize you think it’s endearing. While his infuriatingly toned body may be a major perk, you’re starting to see that you like him too. Now you actually groan. You swore this would never happen—not with Ushijima at least. But here you are.

After that, you make a pointed effort to wear the shortest shorts you can possibly find whenever he’s around. And you purposefully pair them with an oversized shirt, so it doesn’t look like you’re wearing pants at all. But if it has any effect on Ushijima, you can’t tell. You can’t help cursing his dumb impassive expression every time you retreat to your room for the night. Seriously—is he swayed by anything ever?

However, Ushijima hardly knows what to do with himself the first time you strutted out like that. He might be dense, but he’s still only human. His eyes naturally span down the expanse of your exposed legs and he has to grip his water bottle like a vice in order to keep it from clattering into the sink when you rise to your tiptoes to grab something from the top shelf. Your shorts ride up even more, hugging the curves of your ass as you stick it out to balance yourself.

You let out a surprised sound when he appears behind you, easily picking up the thing you were vying for and handing it to you without so much as a word.

“I really need a stepstool or something, huh?” You joke, taking it from him gratefully and blissfully unaware he was just blatantly staring at your ass.

He doesn’t say anything, but the next week you find a small stepstool leaning against the cabinets for you.

~

Staring at your phone in your hands, you thank any god listening that you brought it with you. How stupid do you have to be to lock yourself out of your apartment when you’re taking the trash out? Sitting on the floor against your door, you lean your head back on it and let out an exasperated sigh. You already went down to the office for help, they called a locksmith, and they aren’t available until tonight. And by that time, Ushijima will be home from practice and you won’t need the service anyways.

You have several options here. You could call a friend and stay with them until Ushijima gets back from practice, but they all live too far to walk to, and you don’t have your wallet. You could hang out in the apartment buildings lobby until he gets home, but if your phone dies, you’re stuck with nothing to do and no way to contact anyone.

The last option is slowly beginning to seem like your only option: calling Ushijima at practice for help. Burying your face into your hands you groan—you really don’t want to do that. Plus, you doubt he’s going to answer his phone anyways. After you sit there for a few more minutes, you take a deep breath and steel your courage. Leaving a message is better than nothing.

Despite deciding to call him, you still stare at his contact for a few moments before finally pressing the ‘call’ button. It rings a few times, then unsurprisingly goes to voicemail. When it beeps for you to leave your message, you swallow your pride and say, “Hey Ushijima, I know you’re at practice, but I locked myself out of the apartment…and the locksmith can’t come until tonight. If you by any chance get a break, would you be able to let me back in? I’d really appreciate it…sorry for the inconvenience and disrupting practice!”

Then you hang up and slump against the door again. Might as well head down to the lobby to sit somewhere more comfortable than the hallway floor. You turn the brightness down on your phone to conserve battery and resist the urge to just sit in the lobby scrolling through social media to pass the time. If he by some stroke of luck calls you back, you want to make sure your phone isn’t dead.

“Hey Ushijima, your phone was ringing in the locker room while I was in the bathroom. It was your roommate~,” Heiwajima teases. Ushijima slowly looks past his shoulder back towards the locker room door—that’s odd. You’ve never called him before. “And she left a message!” He coos.

Before Heiwajima can make any more comments, Ushijima strides past him to check his phone. They’re taking a short break and he doesn’t see a problem with making sure everything is alright. You wouldn’t have called if it weren’t important. He doesn’t see the rest of the team share suggestive looks behind his back. Before you, Ushijima refused to check his phone during practice, no matter how many messages he had (which are few and far between but still).

Upon hearing your message, he calls you back immediately.

You’re shocked that he’s calling you back within a half hour of your call.

“Uh, hi,” you say upon answering the call. “Sorry for bothering you. I’m surprised you saw my message so fast.”

“Heiwajima heard my phone ringing while he was in the bathroom.”

“Lucky me,” you joke.

He gets straight to the point. “I’ll leave now.”

Your eyes widen. He’s going to leave practice right now to let you back in? “Oh—um, you don’t have to do that! I’m just waiting in the lobby; I can wait until you have a longer break or something!”

“I can come now,” he says plainly. Then he hangs up on you. You sit back in the chair you’re sitting in and huff out a breath speechless. Never once has Ushijima left practice early. And now he’s just dipping out without hesitation because you’re a major idiot? You can’t fathom it, and the little voice in the back of your head that’s been slowly falling for him is absolutely swooning at the thought.

When he enters the gym again, Heiwajima finds him immediately, while the other members of the team look curiously on as he asks, “So, what’d she want?” Immensely interested in the fact that judging from his sweatpants and jacket over his practice clothes, Ushijima looks like he’s about to leave.

“She’s locked out of the apartment,” Ushijima explains as he heads towards the door.

The team looks around at each other surprised. They don’t get another word in as Ushijima explains to the coach the situation and says he’ll be back in less than hour. Then he’s out the door and a few of them start chuckling to themselves, while the more clueless members wonder why in the world Ushijima would willingly leave.

The gym isn’t far from the apartment, so it’s not long until you see Ushijima step through the front doors and sweep his gaze across the lobby. You greet him right away and the two of you get in the elevator. The silence is unbearable for you—though you’re sure he’s completely fine with it.

When you reach the door and he lets you in, you finally say, “Thank you. You really didn’t have to leave practice though; I could have waited.”

You swear his eyes soften, but it might just be your eyes playing tricks on you. He appreciates that you are being considerate for his time, but he found he wasn’t keen on the thought of you being locked out. It didn’t sit right with him. Not when he’s only 20 minutes away. He’ll be back in under an hour, and that’s better than you just sitting out here for several hours.

He just nods his head and says, “I’ll come anytime.”

At those words, that voice inside your head becomes a pathetic puddle and it’s an effort to keep your knees underneath you.

He can’t explain the way his heart lifts at the smile you give him. Stepping backwards into the apartment, you say as you’re closing the door, “See you when you get home.”

Home.

He’s surprised how that word coming out of your mouth makes him feel.

~

Any feeling of domesticity is thrown out the window the morning you’re walking around the apartment in one of his sweatshirts he lent you a few weeks back when you were cold. He’s stops in his tracks in the hallway seeing you in the kitchen at the stove cooking breakfast, his sweatshirt too big for you covering your shorts and just brushing your bare thighs.

Without giving him the chance to quell it, against his will, his dick strains against the front of his sweatpants and he rushes out the door with barely a goodbye in hopes you don’t see it. It doesn’t even go away on the train on the way to the gym, no matter how hard he tries. His thoughts subconsciously drift to the sight of you and how soft your thighs looked. It’s shocking to him how much he liked seeing you in his clothes. It was the same sort of sensation he felt when Tendo suggested you get yourself an Ushijima jersey—only it’s a hundred times worse.

He tries to ignore it, walking into the locker room like nothing is wrong, stripping his sweatpants and jacket off and shoving them into his locker before he looks around and sees Heiwajima staring at him with raised eyebrows. Then his eyes pointedly look downwards before he lifts them to meet Ushijima’s again. “You wanna deal with that before practice?”

“It’s fine.” He’s sure it’ll go away once he starts warming up.

But then his thoughts drift to you warming up and stretching in his clothes. You bending over, his sweatshirt sliding up your chest, revealing more of your ass and thighs as you count to ten. And any sort of effort he’d put forth to settle down is destroyed as his shorts feel uncomfortably tight. What is going on with him? He hasn’t been able to stop thinking of you as of late, and it’s only been getting worse.

Heiwajima just starts laughing. “Seriously dude, nobody wants to look at that all day.” Then he motions his head in the direction of the showers.

Ushijima’s eyes widen, realizing just what he’s suggesting. He hesitates for a moment, but eventually concedes. He won’t be able to play like this. Nobody seems to care as Ushijima grabs his towel and heads off to the showers, despite feeling distraught about what he’s about to do. He’s never really been one for masturbating, so it surprises him how easy it is to let you in his sweatshirt come to mind as he wraps a hand around his cock. And he comes a lot faster than he expects too.

That’s the first time he jerks off to the thought of you. He tries to brush it off as a necessity for him in order to practice well that day, but it soon becomes a terrible habit he can’t stop. Especially when you keep doing things that make him uncomfortably hard. Like still wearing those tiny shorts around the apartment, doing yoga in the living room, showing him your Ushijima jersey you finally ordered online—seriously, never in his life did he think this would ever become a problem.

He hardly knows what do with himself at this new infatuation.

~

Recently, you’ve started going out on dates because you’re beginning to feel this strange tension between you and Ushijima, and you have no idea how to deal with it besides letting some other guy pound you into a mattress while you ashamedly picture it being Ushijima instead. One night, when you’re bidding him goodbye as you’re on your way out the door, he asks you, “Will you be home tonight?”

Your heart stutters a bit at that word. Home. And then you feel disgustingly guilty that he’s noticed you don’t usually come back after these dates. Meaning you think even he can put the dots together on what you’re doing.

But really, he’s asking because what you’re wearing is already making his pants feel tight and even though it makes him feel a little ashamed, he needs to get his frustration out somewhere that you’re out spending the night with other guys. It makes him feel incredibly jealous—an emotion he’s not used to yet.

“Probably not,” you tell him, swallowing your pride about it and shutting the door.

For the next couple of hours, he tries to resist the demon in his head telling him to go sprawl out on his bed and think about you with his hand wrapped around his cock. But even after he makes dinner, works out, and takes a cold shower; it’s still there nagging at the back of his head. And he knows it won’t go away until he’s coming into his hand with your name spilling from his lips. He resigns himself to this becoming something he does now and heads off to his bedroom to satiate himself.

Your date is terrible. He wasn’t like this when you met him at the coffee shop last week, but tonight he must be feeling extra lucky. Enough to let his cocky, asshole nature shine through and you find yourself forcibly smiling your way through dinner. It doesn’t help that all you can think about is a certain stone-faced, stoic, gentleman who’s just sitting there waiting for you at your apartment. And just the thought of letting this guy touch you tonight makes your skin crawl. So, once the dinner is over, you end the date short, blaming it on not feeling well. He looks pretty put out that he won’t be getting his dick wet tonight, but you’re not inclined to care very much.

Unsurprisingly, the apartment is dark when you return. Ushijima goes to bed promptly at 9 o’clock every night, so you weren’t expecting to find him awake. So, you’re stunned into silence when you hear sounds emitting from his room on your way to yours. It sounds like he’s…panting? Is he working out?

Your brow furrows and your curiosity gets the better of you. You know it’s wrong, and such an invasion of privacy, but you just can’t stop your fingers closing around his doorknob, turning it slowly to just get a tiny peek into his room.

Your heart comes to a jarring halt at the sight you stumble upon.

Never, in your entire life, did you think you’d catch Ushijima Wakatoshi masturbating.

It never even occurred to you that is something he might do, not really seeming the type to.

And holy shit—is it a sight.

Your mouth involuntarily dries up at his enormous hand wrapped around his equally massive cock, pumping it from base to tip as his hips work in unison with his hand. His hair is a bit damp, and fuck—his cloudy, lust-filled gaze is making heat pool in your core. Additionally, he’s completely and utterly naked. Who the hell jerks off totally naked is beyond you, but you aren’t complaining as you watch the way the muscles of his abdomen ripple with each movement of his hips and breath he takes.

You could probably stand here watching him do this forever if you’re being honest.  

That is, until your name falls from his lips.

You swear the floor drops out from under you.

At first, you think he’s caught you. But you soon realize that is very much not the case. His hips start shuddering, his pace becoming erratic as he chases his orgasm and you’re suddenly struck by the thought of: you don’t want him to finish without you.

And before you can hesitate, you open his door fully and step into his bedroom.

His reaction is nothing like you imagined from someone who just got caught masturbating by their roommate who’s name not two seconds ago escaped his mouth. Anyone else would have yanked their hand away and scrambled to cover up. But not Ushijima.

To his credit, he does cover himself, but he does so in such a calm manner, you’re shocked. Plus, you can see he clearly still has his hand around his cock beneath the blanket. The two of you just look at each other for a few moments, and after what seems like eons of silence, he opens his mouth and says, “You said you weren’t going to be home.”

Your brows raise, amused he’s chosen that as his defense. “I think I said, ‘probably not’ actually.”

His expression doesn’t change as your gaze drifts downwards towards his impressive erection that somehow has not gone away despite that he’s lying there in all his naked glory caught red-handed.

You lick your lips subconsciously. “Can I help you?”

He wasn’t expecting that. Nor was he expecting the way his dick twitched in his grasp at your words. Or how heat is spreading across his entire body at the way you’re looking at him. Is he really going to let this happen? He’s pretty embarrassed you caught him, but you don’t seem phased at all. To him, you almost look…excited.

You don’t really wait for him to respond, taking the way he eyes you up hungrily as a yes, and stepping further into the room. Tentatively, you start lifting away the blanket he covered himself with, and he seems to be in a daze as you toss it aside, baring him for you to see. Glancing up at him, you see he’s breathing heavily, his pupils blown wide as he watches you—and while he may not be able to tell you with words how he feels, his body is telling you enough.

But you still want to make sure. Settling yourself between his thighs, you set a hand on each of them and squeeze lightly to get his attention. His olive gaze rises to meet yours and you ask, “Is this okay?”

Without hesitation, he replies, “Yes.”

And if you know Ushijima at all, he means what he says.

You get yourself a bit more comfortable between his legs, chastely kissing each of his thighs, finding it immensely ego boosting at the way they tremble at your touch. You make your way to the base of his cock and lick one stripe up to the tip. He groans quietly at the sensation, realizing his hand will never be enough again.

His fists curl into the sheets beneath him as you take his head into your mouth, and you fail to suppress the quiet groan that emits from you at how heavy he sits on your tongue. Your mind immediately wandering to what he might feel like inside you—if this goes that far, that is. His eyes haven’t left you, watching you intently as you take more of him into your mouth, the weight of his heady gaze making heat pool between your legs.

Steeling your confidence, you hold his stare as you take nearly all of him into your mouth and start bobbing along his length. A barely audible hiss escapes him, the muscles in his arms straining with how hard he’s fisting the sheets. Yet, you still have his rapt attention, and it makes you want to make him feel so good he has to close his eyes and lean his head back against his pillow.

The thought of having Ushijima Wakatoshi a puddle beneath you makes your thighs clench together. An action that surprisingly doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

In a matter of minutes, you’ve made him throw all qualms out the window and you soon get your wish of seeing him let go. His eyes close, head leaning back revealing the strong column of his neck, and his hips start to move in tandem with your bobbing motions. A guttural groan escapes him when you hollow out your cheeks, and the sound rumbles through you before adding to the growing ache between your legs.

You can’t imagine he’s even close to reaching the end of his stamina, but you are certainly losing patience. So, you pop off his cock, and start making the motions to undress so you can finally fulfill your fantasy of riding him.

He startles you by lifting himself to rest on his elbows, his deep voice filling the silence, “Wait.” You pause, your dress already halfway off. He sits up and pulls you into his lap, completely unbothered by the fact your clothed core is now sitting directly atop his prominent erection. “Let me,” he says so softly you think you might combust.

His hands replace yours, and he gingerly unzips the back of your dress and starts sliding it off your shoulders, each inch of newly exposed skin met by the soft press of his lips. You have no idea if he’s ever been with anyone before, but whatever he’s doing is making your insides scramble and burn. His movements are slow and meticulous, like he’s savoring each touch are you’re positively melting in his lap.

Eventually, you have to stand up to shimmy the dress down your legs, but he sits at the edge of the bed waiting patiently before his large hands rest at your hips and pull you back into his lap. Now you’re looking down at him, so you lean down and press your lips against his.

He’s somewhere else entirely—heaven, maybe, as you kiss him. Your lips are soft, body pliant and warm against his as his fingers dig into the plush skin of your hips. He groans involuntarily when your fingers slide into the hair at the base of his neck, tilting his head so you can kiss him even deeper. You’re pleasantly surprised when his tongue darts out questioningly and you happily open your mouth for him.

I’m doomed, you think as his tongue sweeps in at the same time he uses his hands at your waist to grind you down onto his hips. He feels absolutely huge beneath you, and you have no idea if he will even fucking fit inside you. “Fuck…Wakatoshi,” you breathe. His fingers grip a little harder at your voice saying his name like that, but you’re too dazed to notice what it does to him. You continue, “Fuck me, please.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and for a moment you think he’s going to comply with your request. Instead, he murmurs, “Not yet.”

You almost pout, but then he’s unclasping your bra and lifting you to set you down on the bed. He doesn’t waste much time ridding you of your underwear next, and you have to resist the urge to cover yourself as he stares at you with a near predatory look in his eyes. “You’re perfect,” he says, clear as day and you feel heat course through your veins at his words.

He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world to him right now. The intensity of his wanton gaze making you squirm beneath it until he lays his body over yours, the comforting weight of him pressing against your skin as he takes your lips again. He elicits a moan from you, his fingers dancing along your sides and his tongue sweeping into your mouth, making you nothing more than a trembling mess underneath him.

His lips leave yours, but he slowly begins trailing kisses along your jaw, down your neck and across your collarbone; almost as if he’s worshipping every inch of your skin before he reaches your breasts. He takes both of them into his enormous hands, the callouses of his fingers scratching along the supple flesh, making your back arch into his touch. Pressing a chaste kiss to your sternum, he rolls your nipples between his fingers, all while keeping his steady gaze on you. And you have no idea how the simple action of him just teasing your nipples while pinning you with those olive eyes is so unbelievably erotic your head begins to feel light.

And then he takes one of them into his mouth and you about lose your goddamn mind. How the fuck does he know exactly what to do? In the time you’ve known him you’ve never once seen him be even remotely interested in anyone. But at this point, you’re well past the point of caring how he learned his way around a woman’s body.

His tongue laps at the pert bud, all while he keeps his meticulous pace on your other nipple before turning the attention of his mouth to it. Without thinking much of it, your fingers dive into his hair, curling into the strands as he continues his worshipping. Though it does pull a deep rumble of pleasure from his chest that goes straight between your legs.

“Wakatoshi,” you pant breathlessly, chest heaving, desperate for him to do something about the growing ache at the apex of your thighs.

This time, he seems to heed your words. He pops off your breast and wanders with his lips down the expanse of your stomach, his hands finding purchase at your hips as he settles himself between your thighs. Your thighs tremble in anticipation as he presses soft kisses to each of them, fingers kneading your hips and pulling you closer to his mouth.

Never in your life did you think you’d have Ushijima Wakatoshi between your legs, looking for all the world like he’s about to devour you.

He groans as he slides his tongue between your folds, drunk on how wet you already are. And despite the fact his cock is throbbing almost painfully and leaking on the sheets, he knows to take his time. If you want him to fuck you, he has to make sure you’re ready for him.

You throw your head back, fingers fisting into the sheets as a lewd moan escapes your throat that only makes him bury his face even deeper into you. His tongue finds the bundle of nerves at the apex and sweeps across it, moving in small circles that have you finding purchase in his hair to keep him there as you move your hips in unison with his tongue.

A loud gasp fills the air as one of his thick fingers enters you, the ministrations of his tongue not stopping as he slowly pumps it in and out of your core. He’s kept his attention on you this entire time, his gaze never wavering as he watches you fall apart at his mercy. And he finds he’s thoroughly pleased at how easily his finger slipped into you, enough that he tentatively prods another one at your entrance that after a moment slides in without any resistance.

It’s so satisfying that he buries his face even deeper, his tongue pressing harder against your clit as you fuck yourself on his fingers. At the sensation of his second finger, your own find purchase in his hair, babbling utter nonsense that if you were in a clearer state of mind you might be a little embarrassed about.

“Please,” you beg, desperate for his cock inside you, “fuck me Wakatoshi. I want you inside me.”

He nearly falls apart at your needy request, but he isn’t finished yet.

You continue to plead with him, until you abruptly feel the absence of his tongue and you look down to find him staring intensely at you. Your throat clams up at his smoldering gaze as he says simply, “You aren’t ready.”

Your mouth drops open as you blink in surprise. Is he joking? Are you not frantically fucking yourself on his fingers right now, desperately asking for him to be inside you? How can you possibly be anymore ‘ready’?

“What are you talking about?”

Now his eyes drop, and very quietly he murmurs, “I’ve been told I am…quite large.”

“By who?” You blurt.

All he says is, “Others.”

You decide to leave it at that, your attention traveling to his erect cock, it pulsing so hard you can almost see it and dripping from the tip. You swallow nervously trying to imagine that going inside you. Ushijima just watches you eye him, his two fingers still knuckle deep in you, which he seems to have forgotten about as he angles his head in question. “Do you want to keep going?”

Warmth blooms in your chest at his concern. “I would very much like to,” you reply, smiling innocently at him, despite the fact the position you’re in is very much the opposite of innocent.

And the answering small smile he gives you makes your stomach flutter. It’s so soft and dazzling, it nearly knocks all the breath out of you. He presses his lips to your inner thigh, smiling against your skin, and all you can do is stare in awe of him.

Then, as if remembering where is fingers still are, he drags them slowly out of you, his mouth latching on to your clit once again before sliding them easily back in. Soon, he’s got you writhing on his fingers once more, toes curling and your own fingers gripping onto his bicep you can feel flexing with each thrust of his hand.

He waits a bit longer, until his fingers are soaked with your wetness again, before tentatively prodding a third finger at your entrance. He stifles his groan against you when he finds that it slips in along with the others effortlessly. Particularly as the grip you have on his biceps tightens, nails digging into his skin and eyes flaring open at the new sensation.

“Fu—fuck,” you mewl, holding on to him for dear life as he continues his slow and methodical pace. At this point, you’re practically shoving yourself onto his fingers, wanting him to fuck you deeper and trying to match the pace at which his tongue is flicking against your clit. The sensation becomes overwhelming, your thighs starting to tremble with the effort to not come around his fingers and mouth.

“Wakatoshi, please—I’m going to—,” you try to warn him, nails digging so hard into his arms that you’re leaving small crescent indents in his skin. He doesn’t stop though, not until you’re practically sobbing, “Let me come on your cock, please.”

That seems to be his undoing. His fingers and mouth abruptly leave you, eliciting a small sound of discontent from you. But you quickly shut your mouth at the sight of him leaning over you, aligning his hips with yours, one massive hand palmed around his cock as he pushes forward.

When the head of his cock sinks into you, a strangled gasp rips from your throat at just how utterly massive he is. Instinctively, your fingers wrap around his wrist to keep him from going any deeper as you say, “Slow.”

His brow is furrowed in concentration, as if it’s taking all of his willpower to keep from snapping his hips forward and sinking to the hilt in you. “Of course,” he growls, his voice taking on a deep tone that makes your toes curl.

And inch by glorious inch, he pushes deeper into you. His forearms coming to rest on either side of your head as he takes your lips to distract you from him nearly splitting you wide open. You tug him closer, fingers tangling in his olive hair, slanting your mouth against his and slipping your tongue inside which he gladly allows.

Eventually, his hips meet yours, and he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours, his toned chest rising and falling with the deep breaths he has to take in order to keep his sanity. The feeling of your tight walls clamping down around him is enough to make him hiss through his teeth, “Shit.”

The word alone makes heat pool in your core. Ushijima Wakatoshi never swears.

“Holy fucking shit.” You correct him. He’s seated fully inside you and you’ve never felt so full in your entire life. Your legs splayed out to either side from just how big he is, and once glance down confirms his thick thighs are shaking with the effort to be gentle.

He just shakes his head at your crass words, then pulls out slightly before ramming his hips back into yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him close to you, your chest meeting his and his head finding the crook of your neck and he begins slowly. And while you’re very much enjoying each of his careful, deep thrusts, you very much would like to be pounded into his mattress. You’re certain he can.

You wonder if he’ll dirty talk with you.

Running your fingers through his dampening hair, you whisper against his ear, “You feel so good, Wakatoshi.” He merely responds with a kiss against your neck and a small approving growl that makes you keep going. “You know what I thought about anytime I was in someone else’s bed?” He makes no indication whether or not he likes you talking to him, so you press on. “This,” you murmur, “You.”

He stops, and for a second you think you’ve gone too far. But then he rises from your neck, and you swear to god—you almost come on the spot at the carnal glint gleaming in his eyes. Like he is about to utterly and completely destroy you. Your entire body buzzes with anticipation as he finally draws his cock almost all the way out of you before driving his hips home in a way that sends you into total euphoria.

His pace becomes brutal, his hips punishing, wordlessly making you realize it was a mistake for you to ever think anyone but him should be between your legs. It was pure luck you stumbled onto something you didn’t realize—he was immensely jealous every time you came home in the morning, clearly having spent the night with someone else.

It drives him so wild that he growls against your lips, “You’re mine.”

The words are so deliciously possessive, you can’t help the way your walls tighten around him, nor how your legs wrap around his waist and start helping him with each thrust of his hips.

“Yours,” you say, lips brushing against his. His hands wander down your sides, fingers digging into your hips pulling you even closer so that there is virtually no space between your bodies. He’s resting almost his entire weight on you, and his warmth and build is so strangely erotic, the coil in your stomach winds tighter and you can feel your impending orgasm begin to climb.

He cages you in his arms, hips never relenting, seemingly chasing his own release. His quiet grunts of pleasure are going straight between your legs, and you can’t help but start exploring the expanse of his exquisitely toned chest pulling an even deeper sigh from him making you almost melt on the spot. Your hands eventually find a place to rest in the dimples of his hips, relishing the sensation of his muscles moving beneath your fingers.

He refuses to finish before you, no matter how unbelievably tight you’re pulsating around him. So, he reaches between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, pride filling his chest at how you moan lewdly; your head falling back and fingers grappling even harder onto his hips. He takes the opportunity to press kisses to your throat, shoulders, collarbone—any expanse of skin he can get his mouth on.

“Fuck—yes,” you groan, hands leaving his hips to weave their way into his hair, using your legs to push him even deeper and meeting each of his thrusts with your own. You start quivering under him, your body preparing for the onslaught of pleasure rising in your chest, threatening to snap at any moment.

You come completely undone when Ushijima commands, “Come for me.”

Something about his husky, lust filled tone; his lips making their mark all over your skin, and the harsh thrust of his hips sends you over the edge. Your body bows off the bed, and Ushijima meets you, his arms wrapping around your middle to press you against his chest as his lips latch onto your neck and he buries himself to the hilt in your wet heat.

For the second time tonight, he curses quietly, holding you to him as your walls pulse with your orgasm and he finds his own release alongside you. You hold on to his shoulders for dear life as waves of pleasure roll through you, your body spasming in his grip all while he kisses you softly. It’s tender and erotic at the same time. As you start to calm down, he claims your lips, tongue sweeping in as you push his damp hair off his forehead before cupping his cheeks.

He pulls away from you, only to set his forehead against yours, your warm breath mingling. Both of your chests are still heaving, and although it’s silent, it’s comforting as he holds you.

After a moment, you open your eyes and find his closed, his lips curved into a barely noticeable smile. It fills your heart seeing him look so…content. “Wakatoshi?” You say quietly. His eyes open and your throat closes at just how handsome he is. “I…I like you.” Your eyes close now, embarrassed at how pathetic that sounded.

“I’d hope so.”

Your eyes burst open finding him looking at you comically seriously. You know he doesn’t mean it as a joke, but you can’t help the smile that rises to your lips. He gazes at you curiously as you ask, “And? Do you like me?” As if his softening dick isn’t still inside you right now.

Though, it still makes your heart flip when he replies without hesitation, “Yes.”

“Good.” You grin. “I’d hope so.”

You kiss him again before he finally pulls out of you and without a word, he gets off the bed and disappears out into the hallway. You grimace at the mess between your legs but are pleasantly surprised when he returns with a warm towel to clean yourself up with. While you deal with the mess, he rummages around in his drawers and at first you think he’s looking for clothes for himself, until he hands you a pair of his briefs and a t-shirt.

You must eye them curiously because he sets them on the bed saying, “Sleep with me.” He doesn’t word it like a question.

Taking the clothes, you smile teasingly up at him. “I just did.”

To nobody’s surprise, he’s relatively unfazed. “Overnight,” he explains further. “In my bed.” Though the light dusting of pink coloring his cheeks as he says this makes you want to smother him with kisses all over again.

You slip on his clothes and climb beneath the sheets as your response. You watch him dress, marveling over the muscles shifting in his back and arms until he covers them and joins you in the bed. He draws you close to his side, letting you run your fingers across his cheek before settling at his chin and pulling his lips to yours. You kiss lazily until you both grow tired and you tuck your head under his chin, letting his fingers intertwine with yours and enjoying the affectionate kiss he presses to the top of your head.

He surprises you when he says into the silence, “Are we going to do that again?”

The chuckle that escapes you is by no means meant to be mean. He just fucked you better than anyone in your entire life and if you were in deep shit falling for him before this—you’re doomed now. Yet, you don’t mind in the slightest. Not when being here in his arms feels exactly where you should be.

So, you kiss his neck and reply softly, “Yes.”

You don’t see his answering smile.

~

taglist: @bobawithpomegranate @anothermessedupbitch @abswrites @toorus-goodgirl @apollochjld @vicassa @sssjuico10

[shinidamachu]

hi, how are u? i hope fine. Well my question is, in chapter 10 of TFA (474-476 og manga i think) where the flower demon shows inuyasha an illusion of kikyo, we neverknow what decision inuyasha made, do u think he decided to go with her and kagome´s voice woke him up or he just chose not to follow her? i love the inukag but it hurt a lot that escene, i wait for your answer.

The scene was purposefully vague so that we could always wonder what his decision might have been, since Inuyasha says he didn't get the chance to actually make a decision before Kagome's voice woke him up. In the dream, he took a few steps towards ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ then stopped, clearly hesitant. So in the end of the day, it all comes down to our subjective interpretations.

I, myself, think he would have decided to go with her. His heart was full of grief and guilty. He still felt like he failed ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ, like he still owed her his life. Considering what we know about his character, his sense of honor, of duty, it would have been strange for him not to go, especially after ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ had just died. If by that point there was a possibility of Inuyasha not going, it would have configured major character development that they should have showed us instead of leaving to our imaginations.

It also makes sense to think he was about to go with her because of the way the episode was framed: Inuyasha was letting himself fall deeper and deeper into the illusion, to the point of no return.

The demon himself stated that it was too late, that Inuyasha’s heart was no longer in this world, which solidifies Inuyasha was leaning to go.

And yet Kagome’s voice, just like so many other times, got through to him.

Ka-gome...

And the demon is totally caught off guard by this turn of events, because he thought he had got it right, he thought Inuyasha was too far gone and it was impossible for the illusion to be broken.

But why? You were finally at peace. Why would you give that up? I merely showed you the dreams you wished to see.

He miscalculated, though. Inuyasha’s grief for ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ was so massive, that he thought there wasn’t room for anything greater. However, Inuyasha’s love for Kagome was. He might have been deciding to go with ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ, but all it took was Kagome calling his name to bring him back. Because facing his demon’s by Kagome’s side was still a better option than to be free of his burdens without her.

In the end of the day, though, the right question was other than “would he have decided to go with ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ or not,” and Kagome was the one to ask it.

Did you want to?

I never answered. You woke me up.

[inside her mind] that doesn’t answer my question.

Did he want to? That’s very subjective. I’d argue that Inuyasha felt that he needed to, rather than wanted to. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been hesitation from his part and Kagome’s voice waking him up would have made no sense. If he truly wanted to go, he would have gone.

This is a moment of vulnerability and honesty between them, so even at the risk of hurting her feelings, he could have told her that yes, he wanted to go. After all, Kagome directly asked him, even though she might not like the answer. If he didn’t want to go, however, it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to admit it, especially to Kagome, that he once again put his desire to live above his commitment to ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ. We know this has been a struggle for him since her resurrection.

And the scene you are talking about wasn’t even the scene that hurt me the most in the episode:

The woman you loved most in this world has died, hasn’t she?

You can literally hear her heart breaking.

My personal headcanon is that this line was deliberate. I think he could feel Kagome’s love for Inuyasha, her jealousy, her insecurities... so he used that to his favor in order to amplify Kagome’s pain and make it more savory, since “the woman you loved the most” didn’t carry the same weight to Inuyasha’s pain as it did for Kagome’s.

[doorbloggr]

Friday 28/5/21: Media Recommendations #4

Its Friday again, so that means I gotta nerd out about things I've had on my mind lately and recommend other people go enjoy them too.

Today's topics of interest will be:

Manga/Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Music: Kiss from a Rose; Seal

In past weeks, I have picked my recommendations based on shows/music etc that are not as mainstream as I think should be, hence I am recommending them with the intention of increasing the audience. But this week, I am sure these three pieces of media are very widely known already. And its not wrong to like popular things, they got popular for a reason. So this week I'm gonna gush about why I like these popular things.

Fullmetal Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist)

In the vaguely European-esque country of Amestris, those gifted by natural or acquired powers can reshape the world around them using the power of Alchemy. In this world, magic users, called Alchemists, are publicly known and acknowledged. The government even employs many State Alchemists, who receive funding for their specific alchemic research, in exchange for their cooperation during military conflicts.

Fullmetal Alchemist has one of the most well put together and interesting fantasy settings in all of fiction (in my opinion). It is both medieval fantasy but also late 1800s europe, and this helps create a world where magic has very strict metaphysical and political rules.

The story within this world focuses on the brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric, who become the youngest known State Alchemists as part of their quest to restore Edward's limbs and Alphonse's entire body which were lost to a tragic alchemic experiment gone wrong. Ed has classic napoleon complex, and detests anyone looking down on him, but he often has more than enough bite to back up his bark. Al is much more calm and collected, but despite his soul inhabiting an imposing suit of armour, he is the younger brother and often emotionally immature. The two have an interesting dynamic, where the older brother is small and snappy, but still feels responsible and protective over his towering, intimidating younger brother who speaks with a very child-like voice, but could easily knock you out.

FMA is not a very complicated story, but it has depth. Its rich world, with a variety of interesting and endearing characters, make for a very engaging time. It is a story of growth, trust, bonds, and rebuilding what was once lost, while maintaining what you are still working on.

There are 3 ways to experience this story. I have gone back and read the original Manga, and if you prefer Manga as your story form, it is a very fun read. There are two anime adaptations, one that was in production and finished before the manga was complete, and another that came a few years later. The former has a different ending to the latter, and I can only recommend the latter, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, seeing as I never watched the original series. But I have heard on good authority that both are worth the watch, so it is up to you. I can't really decide on a definitive favourite anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is easily always top 3.

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Sometimes, the rich lore and story are what makes or breaks consumable media, but sometimes, all you need is pure stupid fun. Monster Hunter is a series built on a simple premise that does not need much fluffing to be enjoyed. You are a hunter: a very skilled and powerful warrior who weilds, often oversized, powerful weapons of many types, and it is your duty to go out and hunt monsters: powerful creatures who can co-exist with the world but on a case by case basis, put the people and wildlife around them in harm's way.

Monster Hunter Rise is the newest game in the series, and is on the Nintendo Switch. Many players I've talked to have said that this is the easiest game to get into, but that does not make MHR an simple, boring game, and top-level play is definitely a grind. The draw of Monster Hunter is that every "level" is a boss battle, and that battle takes place over a huge map. In this game, the hunter is tasked with finding the monster, and then using their own gear, plus the help of nature around them, to incapacitate the target monster.

This game has fourteen weapons to choose from, and using each is like playing a completely different action game. They can be grouped as Heavy, Light, and Technical Weapons, but the truth is, all weapons are unique, and depending on which specific model of a weapon you use, they can be even more unique within that weapon. Monster Hunter games are RPGs, but rather than gaining EXP, and stat changes indicating growth, Hunters use bits of the monsters they've hunted to make themselves stronger.

Both new weapons and armour require monster parts, and you're never guaranteed to get all the parts you need from one hunt. So the game encourages you fight the same monsters multiple times, learning patterns, honing your skills. When you have made your ideal weapons and armour, you have gotten significantly better at hunting those monsters. Monster Hunter Rise introduces Wire Bugs, a resource with a variety of uses ranged from spiderman-ing up and across mountains, to lending themselves as super moves for your weapons. Breath of the Wild held a place in my heart for ages because of how good it feels to traverse, but honestly, Monster Hunter Rise's wall-running and grapple-hooking blow BotW out of the water. Its just fun to move! If you enjoy action games and boss fights, Monster Hunter Rise is 100% a game you should check out.

Music: Kiss From a Rose; Seal

In my very deep Spotify library, there's a lot of music I will just sometimes skip. Not because I don't like it, but because I need to be in the right mood. But there's also a select handful of songs where I will never skip because I will always be in the mood to shout those lyrics, no matter when or where. Seal's Kiss from a Rose is one of those songs.

The song was originally part of the soundtrack for Batman Forever, but it is not a song explicitly about that movie. I didn't even know this myself until a while after I was obsessed with this song. Kiss from a Rose is an emotional, almost melancholy song with a very hard to place meaning. Seal has said it could've been about a difficult relationship, but I feel it is up to the listener how they interpret it.

The instrumentals are subtle yet powerful, soothing yet exhilarating. It is just a very engaging song and the lyrics are just hard to not sing along to. If you've heard it, you know. If you haven't, take a listen and meet your favourite song this week.

[blazehedgehog]

Hot take: Sonic has never (at least in games) had a well defined personality outside of vaguely cool and whatever that meant at the time radically changed the character. (extreme 'tude in the 90s, stoic badass in the 2000s, somewhat quippy and snarky in the 2010s)

This may be, but consider for a moment: Metroid Other M.

The American gaming populace had formed a certain image of the Metroid franchise, a certain tone of voice that the games spoke in. Most of Metroid's story up to that point had been implied -- they were not games known for extensive cutscenes or voice acting. A lot of the narrative was gleaned from environmental cues or (very short) text logs. This allowed people to fill in the blanks themselves, specifically regarding what type of person Samus Aran was.

But Metroid was a Japanese creation. And in Japan, they had a Metroid manga series that explicitly spelled out the history of Metroid's universe and gave depth to the character of Samus Aran and her origin story. That manga was overseen by the director of the Metroid franchise at Nintendo (Yoshio Sakamoto) and it was considered the canonical interpretation.

Even though that manga had been localized in to English, it was not very well known among the American mainstream. It was the sort of thing only hardcore Metroid fans had known about. When it came time to create Other M, Team Ninja and Nintendo went all-in on giving the game fully voiced cinematics, seemingly taking the characterization and history from that manga as inspiration.

And... well...

I probably don’t need to tell you what the public at large thinks of Metroid Other M these days, but I’ll do it anyway: It’s not a very well regarded game, not necessarily for what a departure it is in the gameplay department, but for how much the characterization does not match what people imagined when they thought of Samus Aran and the Metroid franchise as a whole. Some things are better left unsaid.

Sonic may not have had much of a sharply-defined personality in the old games, but he had more personality than most games from that era, and it gave people enough to build an idea about who Sonic was and the kind of personality he exuded.

What you call “quippy and snarky in the 2010′s” was how some people always interpreted the character. That comic panel right there is from 1995. Here’s one from 2014:

(Again: What Meta “Era”?)

The problem, once again, is the simple fact that Sega has been pretty loose with Sonic the Hedgehog over the years. You’re not wrong insofar as there are other ways to interpret the character, but that should be considered a problem, not a benefit. If there’s a version of Sonic for everybody, then he is a nobody, because no one will be able to agree on what he actually is.

But I do think that more often than not, he does trend more towards the “quippy and snarky,” so at least there’s that.

[thegraysquirrel]

Self-Promotion Sunday

For self-promotion Sunday from @mouseymightymarvellous , I would like to bring the following to your attention:

*scrambles to search for anything useful to promote* 

Oh! There was that one time I was making a promotional speech for Obito in the hypothetical situation of Obito in his prime (no Rinnegan though) fighting Shisui in his prime in hopes of convincing people to vote for Obito instead of Shisui! Below the cut, you will find all 3600 words of it... Because go big or go home.

(If I knew how the hell I would put this on AO3, I so would. But. Tags? Format? okay format would be easy probably I have no idea how to get this on there. Title? I know how to jump literal hurdles but I draw the line at figurative hurdles.)

One last thing! You might be asking, “Why?!” and I would shrug. In reality, I don’t like that Shisui’s Kotoamatsukami is regarded as unbeatable in the Naruto ‘verse. Everything should have a weakness and I just exploited my love for Obito as a character to throw him at Shisui and it worked remarkably well.

I will title this: 

Why Obito (who fell through literal cracks and out of reality as he knew it while regarded as dead last and then dead first) Would Beat Shisui (the legend, the martyr, the Uchiha genius that seemed to have it all in terms of skills and abilities)

Okay so I have thoughts and I have to live up to my “commenting disaster” name so here goes. If you ever wanted to know how authors could feel when they got a comment from me, then buckle in. (wow this turned out to be about 2 full AO3 comments, yes, this is exactly how writers will feel upon seeing my comments in their inbox!)

I think it’s a wild guess that Shisui would have been able to manipulate the complete Uchiha clan through Fugaku.

SHISUI’S JUTSU AND WHAT I THINK OF IT

SHISUI’S LIMITATIONS AND LACK OF EXPERIENCE WITH KOTOAMATSUKAMI I don’t think Shisui’s ability has ever been countered or met his match in the short time he spent on the pages of the manga. Shisui doesn’t know how to tell if someone is fighting the manipulation, and he CAN’T know for sure that no one could. Considering he could use it once every ten years and he is younger than Genma, he hasn’t even got a lot of practise with it. He’ll have used it, what, once? So let’s say he used it twice, since he’s got two eyes. 

That’s TWO instances in which he used it—are you honestly telling me that his technique is unstoppable because he used it twice with no one countering? I’m not buying this. We don’t know the limits, and Shisui sure as hell doesn’t either. 

(I’ll admit, maybe it’s 10 years because the crow does not share the Uchiha blood. We can say Shisui could not use it for 2 years for the sake of Shisui, y’know… being able to build a reputation with it. I think Shisui had his Kotoamatsukami when Itachi was 5 years old, so he had it for about 8 years = 8 or 16 attempts, IF he spams his technique the second it comes off cooldown like us gamers do. Otherwise, he used it TWICE at most)

PEOPLE SAY “THIS JUTSU IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAT/THIS DEFENSE IS MORE SOLID THAN A ROCK” AND WERE PROVEN WRONG Do I think everyone has the potential to beat Shisui’s genjutsu? Hell no. But we CAN’T just buy the people’s words for it when we have so little data and they actually have little data too. The people Shisui used it on probably weren’t even a challenge in the genjutsu department. Here’s my thoughts about when people say something about a jutsu being *waves hand* without weakness. 

Gaara was said to have Absolute Defence and Sasuke managed to penetrate it when he was a Genin and everyone was like “Whaaaat he got through the Absolute Defence how is that possible??”

In chapter 257, Kakashi says “There is no cancelling the effects of [Itachi’s Tsukuyomi],” but Sasuke still managed to do so later with an ordinary sharingan. Kakashi’s sharingan prowess in dealing with Itachi’s mangekyou sharingan were inferior to that of this particular Uchiha. Sasuke did it by putting a genjutsu on himself to break free of the former genjutsu.

I’m sure there are more instances when jutsus are called “impossible to defeat” only for someone to go in and say, “bitch, watch me prove you wrong.” Naruto did it with the 3rd Raikage, in a way. “Impossible to defeat” means nothing. 

The only thing we have for Shisui’s eye-technique to be unstoppable is his and everyone’s beliefs that it’s flawless. But really, if Itachi’s powerful Tsukuyomi could be broken by an individual Uchiha, then why can’t Shisui’s have flaws that can be exploited (by another Uchiha)? When fighting an Uchiha and it’s one on one, flee, is Chiyo’s advice—unless you are also an Uchiha, I amend, even if your eyes are still basic instead of the premium version. 

CLOSER LOOK ON SHISUI’S VICTIMS Follow me on this wild speculation. (If you’re still reading, you rock!) It was said that a different person would need to question the one under the genjutsu for them to even consider the possibility of being manipulated. Let’s also list off the people we know or assume have been under Shisui’s eye’s manipulation:

Bloody Mist ninjas

More Bloody Mist ninjas

Probably ninjas from other villages they were at war with (I honestly don’t know)

Probably the Elders via Danzo (I’m vague on the details, but very likely right?)

The Daimyo via Danzo (wow that was really a challenge to influence him. Someone without ninja skills.)

Mifune via Danzo

Edo Tensei Itachi via crow instructed by Itachi (well, the eye was instructed by Itachi)

If I look at the list, I’m not seeing anyone who would give Shisui (or the holder of Shisui’s eye) a challenge, especially as Itachi got under control willingly. Just like Kakashi had no trouble fighting Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto in the first bell test, Shisui is on a level most people will never be able to reach.

The last one is the only one we know used on an Uchiha. We can’t actually conclude much or anything from it because Itachi orchestrated the Kotoamatsukami, but it was Itachi himself to make note of the manipulation. He was aware of the genjutsu. So the manipulation was noted.

MY CONCLUSION ON SHISUI He’s got the greatest genjutsu, but here’s the thing—he doesn’t know how to fight against other geniuses of genjutsu. It’s the same with eSports, when you are the best by far, you don’t get the experience against the people who match your skill, and that means you get rusty (YES I stole these words right from of a player in the LCS of League of Legends, be happy that I didn’t throw KICK a soccer metaphor at you) and since this tournament I’m arguing for is a knock-out, any mistake can cost you the tournament. His genjutsu is revered as the best, that it can’t be broken, but other jutsus that have been called flawless have been shown to have flaws that could be exploited. Shisui doesn’t have enough experience to have found them out himself. Shisui will win if his Kotoamatsukami works 100% on the enemy, but it’s less sure if the enemy breaks (partly) free.

But who could possibly have a chance of breaking free from it?

*RECORD SCRATCH* (In my document I had the following in a very big font. I miss my big font. ;-;)

MY ARGUMENTS FOR WHY OBITO CAN BREAK FREE FROM KOTOAMATSUKAMI (And why he can win it)

GENJUTSU AND MANIPULATION Obito is not just passing with genjutsu, he’s GOOD, because he was able to even control Yagura—a perfect Jinchuriki, someone who has a built-in pacemaker, but then a pacemaker for when the brain zones out of reality and needs to come back. He managed to somehow convince everyone that he was Uchiha Madara and he double-crossed the actual Madara too—this dude knows how manipulation works, even if that alone obviously won’t help him against a genjutsu of manipulation (it’s a good thing he’s got his own mangekyou sharingan, otherwise he’d definitely be toast). Still thought it worth mentioning. 

I hear you say, “Madara manipulated him!”

Actually, no, I don’t think he did?

Hot take: (I don’t know enough of the general consensus to know if it is a hot take) Obito was NOT manipulated by Madara.

Madara manipulated the situations, but Obito remained true to himself in reacting to them. Whether it would have been Madara’s super evil plan to kill Rin or if it had been The Leaf’s own incompetence at sending kids into dangerous territory (resulting in the deaths of said kids because the system is SHIT), Obito would have reacted the same. 

Yes, Madara is evil for playing with people’s lives like a kid does with blocks to build a structure, but Madara’s involvement isn’t important to the outcome. I think that Madara was unable to “genjutsu bullshit” his way into Obito’s mind, otherwise Madara would have hella secured Obito’s actions already. If Obito could have been influenced by “genjutsu suggestions”, no way in hell would Madara have simply kept asking Obito angrily, “Bring me to life, Obito, I hate being dead. I can’t become the Juubi’s jinchuuriki like this, Obito. Bring. Me. To. Life. (Wake me up.)”

Madara, feared by the world, didn’t use genjutsu on Obito from what we saw. He fell back on manipulating the circumstances for Obito, and the only reason I can think of that is because Obito isn’t susceptible to Madara’s suggestive genjutsu. 

Every time I watch the Obito and Madara episode, I just see Madara spouting words and Obito indulging the old man until he can get out of here. In my interpretation, the words have nothing to latch onto. When Obito returns, it’s his own choice. Madara’s and Obito’s interests aren’t aligning as much as Madara would like, and as such, Obito remains more than just Madara’s pawn.

OBITO IS HELLA STUBBORN (OOPS AND MANIPULATION AGAIN) ANYWAY, if ANYONE would be able to find a flaw in Shisui’s eye technique, Obito would. HECK, he even managed to keep his mind sound when the Juubi was driving him crazy. Like, that anime sequence when his limbs were torn apart? That thing. This dude got willpower and a stubbornness to follow the path he wants to take even if it’s really a dumb path. I might be easily swayed and manipulated, but Obito is not. Shisui wouldn’t even need his eyes to sway me, but on Obito he would need to give his 100% and, again, I’m not sure Shisui has ever been pushed to his limit, and he ALSO thinks that he’s impossible to beat so he’s not even going to give it his 100% (he might think he is, but you’ll only know how fast you can run when you’re chased by something you really don’t want catching up to you or if your alarm went off too late and you really need to be on time). Against Obito, it’s a flaw for Shisui’s ability that it’s about manipulating his decision, because Obito is a master of manipulation himself. He knows what Madara did to him. He fought the Juubi. Obito would walk into a tree rather than change his mind about what path he should walk.

OBITO HAS EXPERIENCE Obito at his prime also has a lot more experience with his ability, he knows his own limitations and how to use it as a part of himself. He can use it multiple times, he can use it in ways Shisui would not expect... Shisui would need to figure it out fast, and I think Obito at his prime (TWO Kamui sharingan) just has too many tricks up his sleeve for even Shisui of the Body Flicker to keep up with. 

MY SLEEP DEPRIVED CONCLUSION ON OBITO What I think Obito has: he got the stubbornness + sharingan skillz for weakening Shisui’s genjutsu on himself enough or maybe even completely repel it so Obito can actually still do things + Obito’s own mad skillzzz with Kamui. Shisui loses. 

TO CONCLUDE

I’ve got a lot of fanon thoughts (or maybe just my personal fix-it for canon) on Obito that I won’t unpack here (it’s that Obito is actually a genius himself even if it never showed clearly in his years pre-sharingan) because, hey, people don’t like reading 1k of random shizzle when they just want to vote for their boy Shisui! But please give Obito a chance because I feel he actually has a chance!

TL;DR 

Shisui has never been challenged in his abilities (especially not by an Uchiha). He won’t know what his all-out is for this, so he won’t go all-out 

Abilities have been called flawless before only for someone to be “hold my beer” and fuck them up. Case in point: Sasuke practically made Gaara cry

There’s been precedent of an Uchiha with normal sharingan getting out of what is hailed as one of the best genjutsus whereas no one without     sharingan would be able to do that alone (or at all)

Unlike Sasuke at that point, Obito has been a master of genjutsu and has a mangekyou sharingan at the point of fighting 

Obito knows what manipulation is and has even kept to his sanity* when the Juubi was tearing him apart. He has manipulated practically everyone, including a perfect jinchuuriki. He will be able to find a flaw in Shisui’s jutsu because he’s too stubborn to change his mind enough about yeeting (parts of) himself to his Kamui dimension when there’s danger

Obito knows his own ability like the back of his hand, including limitations, so Shisui will have a hard time fighting Obito if his own Kotoamatsukami isn’t winning the fight for him. 

*Okay, so maybe Obito isn’t completely sane, but Sakura wasn’t either when she fought off a jutsu working on the mind. I think Obito’s instability even gives him a cookie point

PLEASE GIVE OBITO A CHANCE I EVEN TALKED MY POOR SISTER’S EAR OFF DURING DINNER BECAUSE OF THIS

LET HER SACRIFICE NOT BE IN VAIN

 ---

(Counterarguments with my own reply I put in that document)

Honestly Great Argumenter for Shisui: my counter argument: Shisui is known as the ultimate uchiha genjutsu master. And hes also the best looking. ;)

         Me: In reply to greatest genjutsu master-- Would you say that Itachi was a greater genjutsu master than Sasuke? Because Sasuke broke free from ITACHI'S genjutsu. I'm not saying that Obito would put Shisui under a genjutsu--it's just that Shisui's genjutsu wouldn't hold as well as it normally would, and that might be enough already.

         HGAS: Shisui would still be faster than obito if we take genjutsu out of the equation completely Minato was able to almost kill obito due to speed so that can't be discounted. Obito had to retreat from his fight with minato.          Me: How old was Obito? 14? (Kakashi and Obito are both 31 at the end of Shippuuden, and Naruto’s birthday is in October, so Obito would have turned 32 in the following February of the war, and THIS means that Obito was 14 during the fight against Minato too, because Kakashi was 14 at the time of Naruto’s birth but Naruto timelines are terrible) I hardly call that his prime! And against Shisui, Obito will have two Kamui, whereas against Minato, he only had one. The fight would be different, I feel.

---

YO BECAUSE I STILL GOT TIME HERE I WILL ADD TO THIS. I warned you, if you feel confused where this is all coming from, you’re probably feeling the exact same things Mumma does at some of my Konoha Files comments. This is how I roll. AND PLEASE IF YOU WANT TO TALK KONOHA FILES HIT ME UP because I’ve got a lot more thoughts on that than on Obito vs Shisui!

EXPERIENCE Shisui graduated any age between 6 and 12, but we know that about two years later, he met Itachi who was 5, and 8 years later he died (I think he died when Itachi was 13 because there was more time between Shisui’s death and the other Uchihas’ deaths). Shisui died when he was between 16 and 22. (I am not familiar with the book canon!)

This means Shisui had at most 10-11 years of experience as a ninja. Yes, one year after graduating he got the Kotoamatsukami, so he got 10 years TOPS with his Mangekyou Sharingan which had a freaking long timer of usage in between, regardless of how many years we put it as; 10 years, 2 years, Shisui would have kept that ace up his sleeve so he would not spam the ability the second it came off cooldown.

Obito graduated when he was 9. At his prime he was 31 years old. That’s 22-23 years of experience for Obito as a ninja! He got his mangekyou sharingan when he was, what, 14 (at the end of shippuuden he is 31, and Kakashi is 31 too, so they might have been the same age—and then the Kyuubi summoning was when he was 14)? That’s 17 years of experience with his Mangekyou sharingan. 

Obito will have had way more battles with his ability than Shisui, way more opponents that would challenge his way of using his ability so Obito KNOWS what his flaws are. He knows what it will be like to fight against someone with kamui! He fought Minato and knows how the Flying Thunder God/teleportation can be used against him (and that was when he had his Mangekyou sharingan for less than a year!). In his battles, even when he was mostly forced to stay in the normal dimension because he needed to get his hands on someone, he has shown that he can slip body parts into his dimension even when he is attacked from all sides. His reaction time is solid (even if he is not because... dimension stuff).

Conclusion: Obito has more years of experience than Shisui at fighting with his mangekyou and more moments of figuring out his own limits and flaws and adjust his fighting style to minimize them. Obito has also had more momentous fights to test out his own abilities, including The 3rd Mizukage, The Fourth Hokage, Copy Ninja Kakashi with Kamui himself, other Uchihas during the Uchiha massacre (they count), Konan, Naruto and Killer B. Seriously, he’s more well-rounded than Shisui!

---

THE MIST Shisui fought ninjas, soldiers of the Mist and was feared by them. Obito won from the strongest ninja of the Mist, the Mizukage who was also a FREAKING PERFECT JINCHUURIKI and kept him under his control for YEARS. I know which feat I think is more admirable. 

SPEED Shisui is hailed for his speed, but the Body Flicker is said “To an observer, it appears as if the user has teleported. It is accomplished by using chakra to temporarily vitalise the body and move at extreme speeds.” Obito has FOUGHT Minato, who actually is able to teleport. This was 17 years ago!!! Obito has improved because he was just a fledgling who even had to figure out how his new arm worked!!! Yes, Shisui is faster than Obito, but Shisui will not be fast enough to pulverize Obito. Don’t forget, the kamui sharingan has the added benefits of being able to predict the opponent’s movements, see chakra, so Shisui’s speed advantage is diminished against any Uchiha.

OBITO’S TECHNIQUE Shisui has no idea what Obito’s technique could be and honestly, passing through him mid-fight is already a scary thought, just think how disappearing from sight and appearing could be. Heck, Obito could probably even be in his own dimension, spit fire, and then long-range Kamui it back to the dimension where Shisui is. The precision of it can be worth speculating, but if Obito can appear on a branch of a tree, then he sure as hell can know where exactly he’d send his fireball jutsu. He just does. He’s got the spatial awareness of the overlap between his own dimension and the one Shisui recedes in. And how would Shisui counteract this attack, huh? He can’t body flicker to Obito’s dimension.

Even if Obito stays in the dimension Shisui is in, Shisui won’t be able to exploit the weaknesses. It took Konan a long time to know what the timer for Obito’s ability was, and Konan had her own ability to exploit that weakness. From what we know of Uchihas fight styles, I am having a hard time figuring out what Shisui could do to exploit Obito’s timer—and that’s only if he can figure it out, which he won’t. No one but Konan has found out about that particular tid bit, to my knowledge.

Let’s say Shisui got a hit on Obito. A hit means contact and he gets sucked to the other dimension. Afterwards, Obito would return to the dimension with food and eat while Shisui starves. Win. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details, but the people who have managed to get a hit on Obito when Obito could use kamui (Remember! Obito could not use kamui when he was the Juubi jinchuuriki!):

Minato with his Flying Thunder God move when Obito was new to kamui, to his arm, and only had his right eye kamui and not his left

Kakashi but that was when he was in the other dimension while Obito was still fighting Naruto. Since Obito vs Shisui is a 1v1, this won’t happen

Kakashi because he used his OWN kamui to get a kunai to Obito. Uhuh, Kakashi got a lot of hits mostly because Kakashi had kamui.

Kakashi again, but that was because it would be hella stupid to phase out to the dimension that had a war going on.

Konan (she was so badass)

I honestly don’t remember more, do you?

Shisui is amazing with his body flicker, really, but Obito can dodge left and right. Shisui won’t get a hit on him unless Obito allows it, because Obito got the damn experience!

With two kamui’s, Obito’s transportation (himself and of others he holds on to) is faster, as we’ve seen when Obito and Kakashi worked together to move Obito to his own dimension. Obito’s speed has increased with two kamui’s. 

SHISUI’S TECHNIQUE Shisui is a softy. I’m sorry, but he is. Aoba lived to tell the tale because Shisui wanted to scare them off with his genjutsu instead of killing them. Danzo was put under a genjutsu by Shisui and Shisui thought it was enough even when the genjutsu was done (and then Danzo managed to take an eye of BODY FLICKER SHISUI, so hey, his speed ain’t gonna be the end of it all). Shisui relies on his genjutsu deterring people—that’s obviously going to be his go-to move, and it means he can be caught off-guard when it’s not as effective.

He’s good at Taijutsu (or at least, he would win every spar against Itachi but Itachi was 3-9 years younger, so…), but even Taijutsu master Gai didn’t manage to land a hit on Obito when he used his nunchucks--would Shisui really be able to do what Taijutsu master Gai could not? 

Another TL;DR

Shisui simply doesn’t have the tools against an Uchiha as experienced as Obito. Obito’s ability is a different kind of OP than Shisui’s because Obito knows how to use it as a part of him, whereas Shisui’s ability is something he has relied on very heavily because no one has countered it yet. Obito will find the weakness in Shisui’s “strongest” genjutsu and be able to win from Shisui because of all the battle experience against talented individuals Obito has had. Obito managed to unite the five nations all on his own, he was THAT powerful.

We’ve said before that Shisui is on a different level from practically everyone, but honestly?

Obito stares down on Shisui from his god tier level 

*mic drop*

[codenamesazanka]

I know this is a really vague thing to ask, but do you have any tips for writing Shigaraki? I know Echodrops made a whole meta about fanon Shigaraki vs canon Shigaraki but do you personally have anything in particular you'd want to mention yourself about the portrayal of Shigaraki in fanfics?

(Here’s the link to @echodrops‘s post! It’s really, really good, and helped me figure out Shigaraki a lot in the first place. thank you!)

oooh! Not at all a vague thing, this is a great question. I started all this meta because I wanted to figure out how to write Shigaraki as well. A word of caution tho, because this would be my personal interpretation of Shigaraki, though I’ll try to use as much manga examples as I can. As always, super long post. 

Note: images are edited to fit exact quotes to relevant and reasonable sized images, instead of a whole manga page

Here’s some hand man characteristics/traits that I think are overlooked:

Shigaraki Tomura, in his beliefs/values, has a tendency for all-or-nothing thinking, to be extreme in his actions. In all three of his incarnations - the oneshot Tenko, the draft Sazanka, and this current one - a core of the character is 1) finding something flawed/bad/had hurt him somehow 2) completely loathing it 3) vowing to destroy it. 

Tenko despised samurai and their warring, and wishes to rid the world of swords. Sazanka is on a quest to kill quirk-users with quirks he deems too dangerous for society. And Shigaraki has decided that the Heroes and justice system is a farce, and is out to destroy it. 

Kinda fitting for a guy with his quirk - he either doesn’t destroy something, or destroys it completely. The moment he makes his decision, it’s fast and permanent. 

For Shigaraki, murder is murder, destruction is destruction, violence is violence, no matter how you dress it up. That’s why he couldn’t see the difference between him and Stain. That’s why he can’t see that Bakugou, as aggressive and vicious as he is, still wants to be a good guy. 

Now this is my take, but I think his mindset is: Because All Might can’t save everyone, he’s a fake, he’s trash; because everyone will say they condemn murder yet go about their lives carefree even though they know logically someone is out there getting killed, morality and justice is an illusion; because justice is so fragile and flimsy, I will expose it and destroy it. 

Not in any goodwill or for a better society, mind you. He just hates it. 

He also has no illusions about himself or his actions, he knows he’s evil.

Shigaraki is a lot more sarcastic and sardonic than usually portrayed in fanon. He’s very rude and can be foul mouthed, but the real insult comes from his tone and behavior. He condescendingly calls Eraserhead cool. He calls Stain the ‘Great Senpai of scoundrels’. He points out to Overhaul how a wakagashira/underboss like him should be more polite. Just about half of everything he says is dripping with mockery, and he’s very breezy and irreverent. So a bit less ‘I hate you, fuck off’, and more cheek.

Adding to that, if I’m reading my Japanese right, Shigaraki can change how he addresses people depending on the person and situation. His default speech is rude, but he’ll talk somewhat (barely) politely-ish if needed; it’s just it’s very obvious he’s not taking it seriously. 

Related, I feel like Shigaraki says a lot of things he doesn’t really believe. He tries out concepts, half-heartedly, on a whim. There’s that infamous speech at USJ about Heroes and Villains both using violence - which does seem to have some semblance to the actual ‘two sides of the same coin’ that even Best Jeanist talks about. 

And here’s him considering Stain’s effects on heroes, with gusto, before ditching it.

I know it’s Smash!, but here’s him reciting some sort of pseudo education philosophy he picked up somewhere??? to Kurogiri to get out of exercise. 

He’s a total smartass 

Of course, this brings up the question, is he genuine in his speech to Bakugou, or to Toga and Twice? 

 Like Echodrop notes, he can be in a good mood. He can be (seem?) happy, he can smile, he will acknowledge when someone does a good job of something. 

Sure, it’s got a manic edge to it, it’s probably not coming from a place of good, fluffy, innocent feelings, but he can laugh, enjoy the moment, be psyched about something. 

I really like this scene because he actually giggles a bit. He squeezes Midoriya, and he really does seem excited for a chat. 

He’s quick to go back to being default cranky tho. Quick to enjoy, quick to get irked.  

Shigaraki is a weirdo and I love him.

 My boy is smart. Really, Shigaraki is smarter than he looks. In the Ultra Archive, his profile lists his intelligence as ‘A’, ranking him above most characters, including Midoriya. I get that Deku’s whole thing is being the strategizing main character, but Shigaraki’s just as analytical. Even the Smash! Comic points this out. 

His room is filled with books, so either he reads a lot or he hoards them to look smart. I think it’s the former. Well, it’s not mutually exclusive, I should know.

He thinks and reflects and questions. He was super pissed about Stain, but he realized Stain was right and tried to figure out why. He went on a walk to calm down and just ruminate. He sought out Midoriya just to get second opinion. Afterwards, he quickly sees the bigger picture and realizes the issue is systemic and he’s gotta attack the structure. Of course, kinda shaky on the specific details and it’s not endgame long term, but still impressive. 

There’s a lot of Villain!Deku fanfics - and I like them a lot! - that turns Deku into the criminal mastermind or makes him the brains behind Shigaraki’s operations. Which is fair, Deku could totally be one! And also a lot of fics where Shigaraki is dismissed, with everything he does being AFO’s machinations. Again, fair. But Canon Shigaraki is AFO’s successor and leads the League for a reason.

This also means, I think, that Shigaraki isn’t as clueless to the fact that All For One is manipulating him. This point is entirely debatable, though. All I have to back this is how Shigaraki wondered if he was lied to in the USJ.

Even tho he’s facepalm crusty boi neet, Shigaraki is still a very dangerous S-ranked villain. I feel like sometimes people forget this. 

 He’s not that childish. He can be immature, he’s still learning the ropes of being a supervillain, he’s got an irritable and sullen disposition, but he’s not a five-year-old. He’s also not completely unhinged. 

When things don’t go his way, his first response usually isn’t to shriek or whine or immediately snap. He’s got a clear head and a good sense of what he can and can’t do. Kurogiri is down, All Might escaped their grasp, but Nomu’s still active? Cool, we got this. It’s only when Nomu gets team-rocket-ed that he panics. Stain stabs him? Doesn’t start a fight right there and then, asks Master for some Nomu, is patient enough to wait until he decides he really can’t stand Stain, then finally gives the go ahead for a rampage. 

Shigaraki knew from the start he can’t handle All Might. That’s Nomu’s job. As much as he hates All Might, he doesn’t jump at the chance to kill the hero personally. He’s not ruled by impulse or easy distractions, not really. And he will back down if Kurogiri reasons with him - see accepting Stain as a party member, see letting Toga and Dabi live. And after he got his motivation, he’s been very restraint since. 

He doesn’t immediately destroy his things in anger - we only see him destroy only few items pre-mall talk. He decays binoculars, a photo of Deku, maybe a newspaper, all quiet and deliberate. Kurogiri’s bar is intact and clean, despite being the long-time hang out spot of the destructive Shigaraki Tomura. Would he decay a controller after losing a game? Maybe, but also just as likely maybe not. 

Shigaraki will complain and bitch and sulk and hold a grudge, tho, yeah. He will lose it after a series of stressors/things gone wrong. He can be moody, cruel and sadistic, bloodthirsty and mayhem-loving. But he’s got himself under control more often than not. 

Finally, video games: My biggest pet peeve about portrayal of Shigaraki in fanfics: He’s super obsessed with video games, to the point that he plays them all day long, and he can’t stop using video game slang for everything - or so a lot of the fandom believes. 

I’ve pointed out before that we’re more likely to see him reading the newspaper and we’ve never actually seen him use a console ever in manga or anime. True, he likens scenarios to games frequently, but not all the time - the USJ fight was when he did that the most, then in his other appearances only once or twice during the whole scene (Doesn’t want Stain as a ‘party member’, none at all when meeting Dabi or Toga and then at the mall, camp arc has him seeing himself playing a Sim instead of an RPG, calls All Might ‘last boss’ during the raid, then nothing for his next appearances). At least not out loud. As fun as it is to imagine him as a geeky gamer, and he is, but he does more than just that. 

I think Shigaraki uses video games and media to create mental scripts for himself to understand/interact with the world, but it serves as a skeleton. He fleshes it out, always adding to that mental model to create a more complex one. He calls his change of strategy as playing a Sim game, but it’s a good analogy that works for him, and we see how layered his plan is - dealing a blow to UA that works whether the Vanguard succeed or not, kidnapping Bakugou and Ragdoll, in order to bring about the media and public criticism of UA/heroes, and had it not been for the raid, something would’ve happen to Bakugou that would’ve demoralized everyone. 

He def is grounded in reality enough to know what he’s doing is more than just a game. 

And that’s all I got for now! There might be a part two. idk, but I hope this was helpful! 

[quintessence-sentimentalist]

quintessence-sentimentalist Takes on 30 Days of W.i.t.c.h.versary!: Week Three

Week Three already! Days 15 through 21 below the cut!

Day 15 Something that needs a quick fix

Ahaha, well, some 99.9% of things that need fixing with this series can’t be completed quickly, so let me just go with the simplest thing that comes to mind:

The uniform color errors.

In both the comic and cartoon, there are color swaps between the top and bottom, with Irma being the most frequent offender (frankly, I only remember Cornelia’s top being purple on the cover of one of the final Ludmoore arc issues, and maaaaaaaybe Hay Lin got a color swap once too, so basically it was all with Irma). I don’t know if it’s because she and Will might look a little similar in black-and-white or something and that’s why there was confusion over whose top is which color (although if that’s the case then why didn’t it happen to Will too?), but it just kept happening throughout the series. It’s even wrong on the official promo art/opening sequence end card for the animated series. 

So yeah. Easiest fix I can think of is to please check which color goes where before inking them in.

Day 16 Something that needs an overhaul

I’m just going to spin the wheel here...

Better executed romantic break-ups/avoidance of shitty break-ups altogether. Consistent lore. All the arcs New Power and beyond. New Power Matt. That one self-indulgent what-if I had about leaving Medina, McTiennan, and Sylla’s memories intact and they basically become the girls’ non-magical mentors and trusted adult figures who help them balance their lives between Guardianship and just being normal girls.

Uh... I can’t choose. 

I’ve talked at length about and reimagined a lot of these before (and will do so again, for sure), and those I haven’t people have discussed much more eloquently than I can. And I’m sure I’m still missing some, so I’m not going to get too deep into this and save that all for inevitable rambles later on.

Day 17 Something that needs to be revisited

The Astral Drops, hands down. Why bother sending them off to live new lives of their own, while pointedly leaving them with magical tattoos that will light up when Kandrakar must call on them, if you’re not going to loop back around to that? Honestly, this is something that should have slid back into the narrative in at least some way before things wrapped up.

Day 18 Something that needs more love from the fandom

It’s going to be too predictable if I start chanting “animated series Matt and Will/Matt” (but really, they do deserve all the love), so let’s go for a different angle this time.

Oh... well, I guess since I was already at it, maybe the animated series itself? 

Alright, look: I was a comics purist for a solid eight years. I watched the show in full and enjoyed particular (largely season 2) parts, but I still had the frequent complaint that it wasn’t a faithful adaptation and didn’t watch it again for years even when I regularly reread the comics. 

But then the English translations of the comic ended, and I was left without any real new material. A couple years later, I was about to go off to college and came across something that reminded me of the cartoon (more on that later on), and I figured what the hell.

It’s still not a perfect or even great adaptation of the comics, and sometimes I still struggle with getting through the first season, but going back to the animated series as a young adult - after years of distance from it and easing up on my rigid stance on comics-only - helped me gain a newfound appreciation for it. The animated series did some things I liked better than in the comics. It had a badass theme song. From a fan creator perspective, I found the cartoon universe a little bit more malleable and full of possibilities than with the comics, partially because it unexpectedly got cut short.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t necessarily have impeccable taste when it comes to media (I have a guilty pleasure for short-lived and long-forgotten early 00s sci-fi action shows. I unabashedly enjoyed the live-action Birds of Prey series, and that’s even more wildly inaccurate a comic adaptation than the W.i.t.c.h. cartoon). Still, I think about some other animated series that are based on beloved comics/manga but not direct adaptations, and some of those are considered just as good or even better than the originals (and potentially subsequent accurate adaptations). I feel like at the very least, the W.i.t.c.h. animated series could be a guilty pleasure, or even enjoyable AU adventures of the girls as they are in the comics. 

Day 19 Something small but unforgettable

Nothing was immediately coming to mind, but then it hit me. I love that the animated series changed the name of Will’s power to quintessence in the second season. 

In the comics, her powers were a bit of a nebulous space, while the others’ were clearly defined elements. I remember it being called “energy” or “absolute energy,” which... while not wrong, it’s just such a broad term, and frankly is missing some pizzazz to it. It wasn’t even a consistent name, since oftentimes Will just called out for the Heart, and then with New Power it became “the power to unite them” or something (uh... what?). I just think it’s weird to have one of your main characters without a clearly defined - or simply named - ability, unless it’s intentionally vague to allow for various deus ex machinas from the Heart, with Will serving solely as the conduit.

And that’s kind of what happened with the first season too, where Will was honestly only able to activate the Guardians and close portals and had no inherent offensive ability. So season 2 was great in the respect that they actually gave her a power, but then there was that name!

Seriously, quintessence. Even before you really know what it is, it’s a pretty kickass name, right?? It definitely has the mystical quality to it, and the fact that it literally translates as fifth essence/element makes it just too good. Guys, there’s a reason why it’s in my username.

(Well, that and the fact that seeing the word and its definition again after many years reminded me that I should rewatch the animated series, and that was what kicked off my spiral back into W.i.t.c.h. fandom. It did tie into the “sentimentalist” aspect in the end.)

Day 20 Something you’d always come back to

Hmm, I’m a little unclear on the prompt for this one, whether it means something I’ll reread/rewatch, or some idea from the series that just sticks with me. I’m going go with the first interpretation, which I guess also ties in with the second.

Hardly a surprise at this point, but I regularly rewatch the most pivotal episodes of the Shagon arc - those being L is for Loser, M is for Mercy, and S is for Self. I just love seeing Shagon in the forefront as a villain, and how Will knows how to deal with Nerissa in some respect at this point (staying suspicious - maybe a little bit too much - and learning to out-strategize the ex-Keeper), but goes absolutely ballistic and loses her calculating edge whenever she’s facing Shagon on his own. He knows exactly how to needle into her vulnerabilities, and the two of them engaging in emotional warfare is just so good. Watching these always gets me wondering how the fallout from this arc would have gone had we had more time and the series had a different tone (maybe more along the lines of Young Justice, to borrow a different Weisman show), because I’m firmly of the mind that Matt would have some lingering trauma from the experience (which he’s had to put aside to take on a new role and deal with everything else that came after he was freed) and I would have loved to see that play out.

As for the comics, though, I like to loop back around to the girls’ potential futures from issue 50. Their careers just fit them all so well, and the way their designs and friendship evolved into adulthood just felt right to me. They’re all grown up and more sophisticated now, but they don’t simply look like a slightly older version of their Guardian forms, and manage to maintain a semblance of their styles from their young teen days. And even though they’re no longer active Guardians and are busy with their own lives (sometimes in various other places), thus not being in each others’ back pockets anymore, you can tell their bond is holding just as firmly as it was forged back in the day. I vastly prefer this glimpse into the future over the one we’re shown in the post-New Power era, so I like to use it at least as a basis for when I imagine the girls post-Guardianship. 

Day 21 A memorable architectural design

I do love the design of Sheffield Institute. It’s just so elaborate and wildly different than what you’d normally see for a high school, at least from my view and experience. It certainly looks like a place with a rich history, and honestly I think it’s a great parallel to Kandrakar and the castles of Meridian and Arkhanta - not quite as regal or mystical, but still a structure with some elegance.

[completeoveranalysis]

TRC Translation Notes Volume 15 (Chapters 109 - 116 + Omake)

Another installment of excellent translation notes from the wonderful @giniroangou, now fixing Acid Tokyo one chapter at a time. 

Highlights include: the return of gratuitous exclamation marks, when a basement isn’t a basement, Improved Kurofai scene (oh my lord, it’s so much clearer, I’m so thrilled), justice for Nataku, Yuuko prices making more sense, and Mokona being Mokona. 

Chapter 109

p.5 - “Strong” is the proper translation for Syaoran’s impression of Kamui, so I think this is just shounen manga nonsense, lol.

p.6 - The word translated as “game” here is just a katakana “e” (エ, pronounced “eh”.) It’s a made-up term and the lack of kanji strips it of all meaning until the manga gives us a bit more information, which I’ll elaborate on once we get there.

p.9 - I’m finding it hilarious now that “e” was translated but “ku” wasn’t, oh my god why. “Ku” is the word for a district or a ward.

p.23 - Since you were using these (understandably) as a basis for characterization, there are actually no exclamation points involved in any of the dialogue on this page. There are a couple sentences ending in “yo” so that comes close I guess but IDK, the gratuitous exclamation points in this translation are always going to bug me.

Chapter 110

p.40 - Fuuma’s “It looks like you don’t want to listen to reason,” was originally, “It looks like you’re not in the mood to hear me out,” which I feel makes a bit more sense.

Chapter 111

Cover Page - “The Capital of Water” is the original title of this chapter.

p.51 - Font note: Kakyo’s lines are not italicized in the Japanese version, but they’re bold and written in a slightly fancier font. Kusanagi’s on the next page are just bold.

p.52 - It might just be me, but the use of “basement” feels a bit odd here - the original word used is “chika” (地下), which can be used to refer to a basement, but also any other underground place - it literally just means “underground.”

p.56 - Fai’s translated line about Syaoran having been through some tough times sounds hilariously vague. In the original line he points out that it would be difficult for Syaoran to carry on like this (ie with an arrow sticking out of his leg.)

p.62-63 - The thread of this conversation gets a little lost in the translation. The point of it is, having an underground vein of water alone isn’t enough to save people here, given that the acid rain can penetrate the earth, so the reason why their water is so precious is because it’s beneath a building that’s relatively intact.

Chapter 112

p.73 - When Kurogane says that Fai’s reason for running is none of his business, he says “Ore ni wa kankei nee” (俺には関係ねぇ), which we’ll see repeated later in this scene. More literally this means, “It has nothing to do with me,” or to capture the full versatility of the phrase, “It doesn’t matter to me.” There’s the potential for this line to put distance between Kurogane and Fai, as the initial “none of my business” seems to do and as Fai first interprets it, but there’s also the potential for it to mean that Fai’s past is irrelevant to Kurogane’s current relationship with and perception of him.

p.74 - The phrase “Just now” in the translation was originally “ima no omae,” which is a bit awkward to convert to English but essentially means “the present you” or “the person you are now.” Kurogane is separating Fai’s more guarded past self from his current incarnation who shows genuine care for Sakura and Syoaran.

p.75 - The exception to Fai’s “not dying” rule isn’t dying for someone else, but dying because of someone else. Fai references their conversation in Koryo, but Kurogane shifts more towards their conversation in Outo, which was about Fai not valuing his life.

p.77 - The word that’s been translated as “unhappy” is “fukou” (不幸), which can mean unhappiness but also misfortune in a general sense. Basically Fai doesn’t want bad things to happen to anyone because of his involvement with them.

p.80 - In the Japanese text it’s a lot clearer that Kurogane isn’t really hurting Fai here (or at least that his protest isn’t genuine) - the ending of Fai’s “That hurts” is dragged out into the tone he uses when he’s saying something jokingly. Once again, this seems to be an unsuccessful attempt to distract from their conversation and lighten the mood. It’s quite likely that he’s trying to make Kurogane let go, but I don’t think pain is the reason.

The distinction I made earlier about “It doesn’t matter to me” comes into play here again. There’s a bit of a different ring to “Your past doesn’t matter to me” vs “Your past is no business of mine.” I think it’s also important to note that Fai’s shift from dismissive to shocked here is in response to Kurogane’s adjusted wording - he’s making sure Fai understands that in saying “It doesn’t matter,” he’s not saying that Fai himself doesn’t matter, but that it’s his past specifically and his past alone. Fai thought Kurogane was drawing a line between the two of them, when he was really drawing a line between Fai’s past and current lives.

p.81 - This is a VERY IMPORTANT line that will come up later, and I’m not sure how they handle that with this translation, but what Kurogane is actually saying here is more like, “Cut this shit out and resign yourself to who you are now.” The phrase he uses - a form of “hara wo kukuru” (腹を括る) - indicates steeling yourself to face something unpleasant; he recognizes how difficult this is for Fai, but still wants Fai to recognize how involved he’s become with their found family and accept that as his fate.

Chapter 113

p.98 - In the original text, Syaoran’s single-mindedness is on full display - he straight-up says he’s going because he might learn something about the feather instead of just treating it as an example.

p.99 - The phrase “don’t waste your strength” feels a bit off here - the sentiment should be more along the lines of “don’t push yourself.”

Kurogane literally finishes Fai’s sentence at the bottom of this page. The sentence order makes this very difficult to translate into English in a way that makes sense, but a direct translation would be (Fai) “That… Syaoran-kun…” (Kurogane) “It wasn’t.” forming the full sentence of, “That wasn’t Syaoran-kun.” Fai’s words appear to be hesitant with Kurogane confirming his suspicions, but the original scene gives a stronger sense of them being on the same page than the translation does.

Chapter 114

p.129 - Rest assured, Nataku’s gender identity is preserved in the original text. This is a common trend with CLAMP translations given the large number of characters confirmed or assumed to be non-binary, but often when you see a gendered pronoun in an English translation, there is no corresponding pronoun in the Japanese text. The Japanese language doesn’t require pronouns in many cases, and even when it does people often opt to use each other’s names instead. It’s a great language for non-binary folks, but this also means non-binary gender is very easy to miss unless there’s a point made of it in other dialogue. I assume most translators don’t really think much of assigning gendered pronouns that weren’t originally there simply because a lack of pronouns is so common in Japanese.

Chapter 115

p.139 - The wording in Kamui’s vow of protection reveals that he is protecting something living - he uses the word “iru” (居る) for living things rather than “aru” (有る) for inanimate objects.

p.141 - “I want/need to take it back” is a more appropriate translation for Syaoran’s lines here than “give it back.”

p.143 - Fai tells Mokona that just he and Syaoran will go on any future errands (the “or” was a mistranslation.) Basically he’s saying, “Don’t come with us next time,” in the nicest way possible.

Chapter 116

p.152 - We finally have a name for Xing-Huo! I can’t speak to the transliteration and Chinese meaning, but the exact katakana for her name’s pronunciation are “shin fo” (シンフォ) and it’s written with the kanji 星火, meaning “star” and “fire” respectively. (It looks like lots of great info already came out in the comments when you first read this chapter, but I’m keeping this here for completeness.)

p.153 - I would interpret Yuuko’s final line on this page as: “Those children, too, are like fragments of an unfulfilled dream.”

p.155 - The first price Yuuko lists, “Connections,” is “kankeisei” (関係性), the same word she used for Syaoran’s price at the beginning of the manga, translated at the time as “Your relationship.” This word can refer in a general sense to relations with others, hence the translation on this page, but in the Japanese version it’s a clear call-back to that earlier scene in which the word specifically indicated Syaoran’s relationship with Sakura.

p.156 - In case this needs clarification, when Yuuko says this is within the limits of her meddling, she means it falls within the extent that she’s able to interfere.

p.157 - Once again, “I have to give it back” should be, “I have to take it back.”

p.164 - For the curious, since this term shows up in various places, the word translated as “dream seer” is “yumemi” (夢見).

Omake

p.176 - Mokona saying she’s afraid of pork buns (“manjuu kowai”) is a reference to a well-known rakugo story in which a group of friends are sharing their fears and one of them admits with some embarrassment that he’s afraid of manjuu. His friends are so entertained by this that they decide to tease him by buying a whole bunch of manjuu and leaving them in his room. Though he vocally protests, his friends realize after a moment that he’s eating the manjuu. Acknowledging that they were tricked, they ask what he’s actually afraid of and he says, “Right now I’m scared of a cup of tea.” Aka Mokona is attempting to troll her family for food, in true Mokona style.

[linkspooky]

Tokyo Ghoul vs Literature: Red Dragon - A Metaphor for Hide and Kaneki’s Relationship

Sorry about the delay in this one, I actually lost the book Red Dragon fro awhile and I had to go find it. Anyway this time around we’re gong to look at a character I don’t talk about as often, Hide. During one of the flashes to Hide’s room we’re presented with a brief collection of his interests as mostly a background element. While the various manga volumes do show how his tastes clash with Kaneki, the one that stands out the most in a Red Dragon poster.

Let’s explore the connection between the two underneath the cut.

Hide’s tastes tend to be more mainstream, at least from a western perspective. Apparently he also enjoys watching American movies and listening to American music, I’m not sure exactly how distinct that is from a japanese perspective but I think even from a mainstream taste Red Dragon sticks out as a weird thing to fixate on. It’s more on the pulp side of things.

In particular it’s a pulp detective novel, or crime focus novel that belongs to the hannibal series. This is a series which primarily focuses on the FBI trying to investigate serial killers with distinct profiles and one of the main characters Hannibal, is a psychologist who eats people. The connection to Tokyo Ghoul is rather obvious on a surface level, this poster is even drawn attention to while Hide is watching on the news about the expanding investigations in Aogiri’s 11th ward base.

While at the same time thinking of Kaneki. 

A Book About Relationships

So while one could say that Red Dragon is connected to Tokyo Ghoul because it features a character who is a serial killer who also eats people and Tokyo Ghoul has two such characters (Torso, and Donato who is the much clearer Hannibal Parallel), I think the much stronger link is that Red Dragon itself is a metaphor for Hide and Kaneki’s relationship. Especially since the Red Draon poster is specifically shown when Hide is thinking about Kaneki.

There’s also another reason I think that supports this interpreted connection of mine, that being that Red Dragon itself while still being a crime novel that plot wise revolves around solving a crime, is thematically  about the people and circumstances that surround that crime and one of the most prominent and repeating circumstances is all of the unhealthy relationships shown again and again throughout the novel. 

To make my point consider that the novel Red Dragon at this point has three primary adaptations, two movies Red Dragon (2002) and Manhunter (1986). Red Dragon being a remake which recast Hannibal as Anthony Hopkins after he popularized the role in the film adaptation of Silence of the Lambs. The third adaptation is a Hannibal Tv Series that ran from (2013-2015) and while featuring a lot of original content is primarily an adaptation of once again the content of Red Dragon, serving as a prequel, midquel and sort of sequel? Anyway my point is Manhunter the original film focused on the crime, and just like in the novel Hannibal has minimal scenes because Silence of the Lambs had yet to popularize the character. When it was remade then in 2002 into Red Dragon, Anthony Hopkins was given more screentime and inevitably more interaction between the character of Will Graham and Hannibal. Which finally culminates in the series Hannibal which is almost entirely about exploring the strange relationship between Will and Hannibal.

The question is why did this escalating change of focus from a straightforward serial killer story, to a thriller that focuses primarily on the personal relationship between protagonist and antagonist. Is it because Hannibal is a popular character and he just got increasingly more screentime? However, if Red Dragon were all along about portraying unhealthy relationships, then these successive adaptations could just be getting closer and closer to portraying what is the real meat of the story as time went on. Which is really what a good adaptation should do, find out what the meat is, what worked about the original and retain that part while adding your own. The hannibal TV series which is generally considered to be a good and well liked adaptation primarily focuses on that, the characters and character relationships that come about surrounding the crimes, while the crimes themselves are more of a framing device. 

Then the question is if Red Dragon is a novel primarily about exploring unhealthy relationships, then how does that relate to Tokyo Ghoul, or particularly the unhealthy elements of Hide and Kaneki’s relationship. 

A Dangerous Empathy

Red Dragon’s main plot is as follows, Detective Will Graham is called out from a peaceful existence he is currently living in, in attempt to recover after retiring frm the FBI near permanently after capturing Hannibal severely hurt him mentally. The place he lives in is nearly a soft paradise of sorts, with a wife who fell in love with him specifically to heal him and her son, and several large dogs. However an old friend pressures him to help him take up a new serial killer case. 

“What you did for Crawford was bad for you. He has a whole lot of people - the whole damn government I guess - why can’t he just leave us alone?” - Molly

“Didn’t Crawford tell you that? He was my supervisor those two times I left the FBI academy to go back to the field. Those two cases were the only ones like this he’s ever had, and Jack’s been working a long time. Now he’s got a new one. That kind of psycopath is very rare and he knows I’ve got... experience.”

-Will

Red Dragon page 7

Jack Crawford and Will Graham are by the way, the first unhealthy relationship set up in the book. Jack while confident in Will’s abilities also seems fixated on him in a way. He believes only Will is capable of solving these crimes, and therefore drags him back in by guilt tripping him that it specifically has to be him to save these human lives on the line. Even though Will himself is not mentally ready to be back on the field, Jack specifically manipulates his relationship with Will to propel him there anyway. 

Will is a character with many parallels to Kaneki, in particular he has an overdeveloped sense of empathy despite having no social skills whatsoever. In the same way that Kaneki seems to paradoxically have well developed empathy but also an inability to practically apply that and form normal working relationships with those around him.

The particular way in which Graham parallels Kaneki though is that he is a crimminal profiler with the FBI, and one who is particularly famous for being able to understand the minds of serial killers. 

“You took off your gloves didn’t you, the powder came out of a rubber glove as you pulled it off to touch her, DIDN’T IT YOU SON OF A BITCH.” - Will Red Dragon, page 25

This quite clearly relates to Kaneki’s ability not only to relate to ghouls, but also to see himself in the worst types of people. As you can see though the connection Will makes are intensive, and he lives with a constant fear that because he’s able to think so much like a Serial Killer, that he in fact relates to them because of their militarizes.

Will then realizes after an examination of the killer’s crimescene that he has been called to investigate (currently nicknamed the Toothfairy for his habit of taking teeth), that he can only proceed further with the case by consulting with the serial killer he captured on his previous case, a psychologist known as Hannibal Lecter. The relationship between Hannibal Lecter and Graham represent the second major unhealthy relationship in the series. Rather than pressuring Will into doing things he does not want though, Lecter is much more antagonistic and seems to want to prove that he and Will are similar. His reasons for doing so are vague, and either boil down to some genuine affection for somebody who was capable of matching him as an equal, or a want to prove that Graham despite imprisoning him wasn’t an equal and will fall to his level (those sound like two completely different things but as I said it’s ambiguous). 

This is another relationship that is mirrored in Tokyo Ghoul which I will touch upon briefly, and that is in the strange cooperation and respect that Donato and Sasaki seem to share. 

The narrative brings this up specifically, that Donato is an unrepetant killer who sells out other ghouls in order to sustain his own safety while in the Cochlea. Captured, he’s almost pathetic no matter how much menace he is able to muster. Even while he was free, the only thing he could think of to do to sustain his so called ‘peaceful’ existence was to kill children. Beings that are fundamentally too weak to fight back, his self survival, his sustenance is always done by taking advantage of those weaker than him, and in that way all of his strength is a lie. It’s based on a twisted self value. An assumed self importance that he is above these things. Just like Donato, Haise relates to that, that impending feeling of his own demise  that makes him want to indulge in peace even if it’s a lie rather than face his own feelings.

The comparison raises the question is Haise living the same as Donato to an extent? Even if he does not relish the murders, isn’t the CCG providing him with both a continued secure way of living, people above and under him to make him feel secure, and also an outlet for his violence that tells him it’s good actually to kill these people because ghouls are bad and deserve to die. Isn’t Haise killing ghouls en masse (he’s an osthmanthus award winner) and without mercy, not because he believes it will protect people but merely to protect his own existence? 

That’s all I am going to talk about Donato though, because this is supposed to be primarily a thread about Hide. The question is what part of the novel reminds me of Hide and Kaneki’s relationship, and that lies in the last part of the novel. 

There are two more unhealthy relationships, that between Will and the Tooth Fairy as he begins to investigate the other, and also the Tooth Fairy and a Blind Girl which he meets and starts a romantic relationship with. 

I think these two things, 1) this element of pursuit and investigation is something that parallels the general arc of Kaneki and Hide’s relationship quite strongly and 2) the codepdendence that emerges from the relationship between the Tooth Fairy and the blind woman, parallels the fatal flaw in their relationship that caused it’s tragic end at the end of Tokyo Ghoul. 

The rest of this analysis will be broken down into disseminating those two parts.

Pursuing the Red Dragon 

The second half of the novel is an investigation where Graham purses the Tooth Fairy, while the Tooth Fairy pursues his own obsession. See, the book is called Red Dragon because of a characteristic picture of a Red Dragon on the killer’s back.

It is actually a watercolour painting by English Poet William Blake, called ‘The Great Red DRagon, and the Woman Clothed in Sun’ which is based off of a passage from the revelations. 

And behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth.

— (Rev. 12:3-4,KJV)

Interpreting revelations is weird, so I’m just going to give you the short of it, the Red Dragon is basically symbolic for Lucifer/Satan. In the same way that the Black Goat, and Kaneki’s journey through that narrative is a parallel to the mythological role of Lucifer as a challenger of God’s authority.

Kaneki is tied to Lucifer just like the main serial killer in Red Dragon but it goes beyond this. The tooth fairy’s reason for pursuing the Red Dragon is because he believes through his obsession with this painting, he can achieve perfection and then transform into the Red Dragon. The Red Dragon is like a developing second personality that he attempts to grow, and then control, the same way the centipede Kakuja is something Kaneki nurtures and a power he tries to make use of in order to become a perfect and whole ghoul through cannibalism. 

The Red Dragon starts to overtake him, the same way that Kaneki is unable to control his centipede Kakuja. In a last ditcha ttempt to control it, the Tooth Fairy even eats the Red Dragon painting thinking that consuming it will somehow give him domination, but the Red Dragon instead eats him from the inside. 

The parallel to Kaneki is pretty clear, but then what of Hide? Remember though, just as Kaneki spends the latter half of Tokyo Ghoul paralleling the Red Dragon, then Hide is the clear parallel to the detective pursuing the Red Dragon.

Hide’s arc in the second half of TG is joining with the CCG with the explicit purpose fo tracking down kaneki who has disappeared without a word. Hide in general displays two qualities that are very detective like, deductive reasoning ability that follows his natural curiosity, and also quick thinking.

He uses this at one point to be able to plant a tracking device on Yamori, which is part of what tips the CCG off to the location of the 11th ward. This might just be a natural tendency that comes from Hide’s personality and also his most significant relationship. 

Let me explain simply, in their relationship Hide acts as a detective who pursues Kaneki, even before one of them was ghoulified. This is for two reasons, one that he has the ability too. Hide is for the most part shown to be unempathic. Not that that makes him a bad person, but he is basically able to set up several ghouls who were threatening him, up for their deaths by CCG officers without really blinking. While he is curious about ghouls he doesn’t really empathize with them. There is only a few people he seems to emotionally invest in, and that is Kaneki. The rest of the people he is able to manage with his advanced social skills without even needing to empathize with them. Unlike Kaneki, Hide is easily able to socialize with people, but has a hard time empathically connecting to them. he is the inverse in a way that compliments Kaneki, which is often when Kaneki is being socially indecisive, Hide is the one to interject directly for him.

As observed here in champter six where Kaneki isn’t even able to do something as simple as say no to an offhand request for him to join a club and Hide has to do it for him basically.

Kaneki relies on Hide to basically notice things on his own, and then speak up for him. Things that are personal to Kaneki, that Kaneki really should be figuring out for himself. Hide is Kaneki’s sole positive relationship at this point yes, but also Kaneki derives basically all of his emotional intelligence and funcitonality by relying on Hide. Hide is his place in the world in more way then one. 

It’s a comfortable existence more than anything else. Kaneki was not truly happy before he turned into a ghoul, but he was comfortable, and unchallenged and managed to keep his anxiety mainly under wraps. When Kaneki mourns his former life one has to wonder, does he mourn the happy days gone by with Hide, or the fact that he used to be able to just live his life simply by relying on Hide. 

Much later we get to see Hide’s perspective on their own friendship, and Hide is not presented as the omnipotent detective Kaneki shows at the beginning of the story, but rather as a person filled with his own worries and concerns. 

Kaneki always hiding his troubles from Hide meant, Hide had to as a result if he wanted to understand Kaneki, get good at investigating others personality’s. It was a skill he develops to compliment Kaneki. The two of them seem to fit rather well together, Kaneki who hides everything and puts a smile on his face, and Hide who is able to see through that act and able to know and help him figure out his own emotions.

That is their relationship, much like the detective and his target Kaneki recedes into himself and Hide chases trying to investigate him to figure it out. 

However, a complimentary codependence =/= a good relationship. Not only are Hide and Kaneki both fixated on one another that they’d go to great lengths to save each other (some would say unhealthy lengths), but Kaneki also seems to carry an overly idealized image of Hide as a ‘cool savior’ rather than just somebody who genuinely cared about him, and felt anxiety and worry too when Kaneki withheld and hid his pain. 

In good circumstances they can actually learn from each other. Hide can learn about empathy from Kaneki, because he obviously admires Kaneki’s own caring for other people and soft nature. While from Hide, Kaneki can learn social skills so he can actually put his empathy into work in deliberately forming relationships instead of passively just hoping for them to happen.

However in bad circumstances you get the unwinding that is experienced at the end of Tokyo Ghoul and parts of :Re where Kaneki and Hide are not allowed to stand side by side of each other as friends.

Love Doesn’t Actually Redeem

At least love without communication doesn’t. That is the main problem with Kaneki and Hide’s relationship, they don’t properly communicate so the two of them end up having really warped and partially idealized versions of the other in their head. 

In Red Dragon there is a romantic subplot between the killer and a blind woman. This could obviously also be connected to Hide and Kaneki as Hide is generally kept symbolically blind of Kaneki’s activities as a ghoul, the same way the blind woman is unable to see that the Tooth Fairy is a killer due to her disability. She gets close to instead his civilian personality, and for what it is worth he genuinely does start to care about her. 

However he believes love will fix him, while at the same time lying to her about a significant part of himself. That he is in fact a killer. While doing so he really denies himself the possibility of having a genuine relationship with her.

This resembles the way Kaneki decided to abandon Hide halfway through the manga while also placing far too much importance on him. Kaneki admits this in :Re, that he was too paralyzed by the desire to see him again to actually try to do something about his separation from Hide. That, and his words to Amon that are specifically about Hide, that even if Hide were to return he would be too afraid that he would lose him again.

Kaneki projects so much importance to Hide that it gets in the way of their actual friendship. He lets his fear of separation from Hide control him, and then physically seaparates himself from Hide, it’s very self defeating in the end.

That is in a way the same way the Tooth Fairy is defeated. Love fails to redeem him, but it opens up just a big enough hole in his psyche that he starts to make mistakes and spiral towards his own downfall. When Kaneki remembers himself finally, the first thing he remembers is Hide. His idealization starts back up againto the point where it starts to control him entirely. Rather than trying to become the centipede this time around though, Kaneki tries to become like Hide. (This is also after devouring him, lots of devouring connections to Red Dragon). 

In a way though in this scene Kaneki isn’t just idealizing Hide, he’s using the ideal of him as an excuse. This is where Kaneki’s behavior change from passive to active. He knows that Hide was trying to save him, but now uses Hide’s name and memory as an excuse basically to throw away his own life. Something he knows subonsciously is the last thing Hide would want, but also elects to ignore. It’s not until Hide physically manifests within him (the same way the Red Dragon also appeared as hallucinatory before the tooth fairy), that Kaneki began to see what he was doing.

The most important thing that Brain Ghost Hide! imparts upon Kaneki though is that simple fact, that he’s not real. The image of Hide that Kaneki carried with him all along was a false one, Hide the smart one, Hide my chain to ther est of the world, Hide the symbol of my human untained self, Hide the perfect savior, those were all a projection on Kaneki’s part. 

All Hide ever wanted was to walk by Kaneki’s side. That is why their codependency as it stands in the manga right now was unhealthy, because Kaneki’s fixation on Hide is exactly what prevented them from just simply being together as equals.

[spicynbachili1]

Japanator’s Anime Binge Log: Goblin Slayer

Killin’ Goblins in the Name Of

It’s time again for your semi-regular look at the season’s best and brightest anime! Welcome once more to Japanator’s Anime Binge Log! Last time we took a look at the latest chapter of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, a show that, while not universally-liked, is almost universally respected. 

This installment goes a bit deeper into the weeds with a show that managed to alienate a good chunk of its audience from the get-go: Goblin Slayer. Studio White Fox’s adaptation of the hit novel/manga stirred up a hornet’s nest of discourse with a divisive first episode, but what’s the verdict, now that about half its cour is over? That’s the question we posed to the staff and a couple of us deigned to answer!

If you’ve got a suggestion for the show to cover in our next Binge Log, don’t hesitate to tell us in the comments!

Goblin Slayer Studio: White Fox Director: Takaharu Ozaki Airdate: October 5, 2018 Watch it On: Crunchyroll The Blurb: Need some goblins slain? Give this dude a call. 

Staff Impressions:

Marcel Hoang

Oh boy, here I go with Goblin Slayer, one of my soft recommendations of the season. This is the series where I say I like it and when people ask me if they should watch it, I say, “Yes asterisk,” because I verbalize the asterisk that is the catch.

There are two sides to this asterisk. First is obviously the important part which, let’s be honest, you may not be reading this sentence anymore because you just gotta type a comment right now about the controversial rape scene in the first episode. I can try to say words, but ultimately I’m not eloquent enough to even begin saying anything about it. Let’s just say that I think we can universally agree that it was bad. In fact, the whole first episode, even barring the big oops scene is pretty bland and wholly disconnected from why I like Goblin Slayer. That part is the asterisk I mentioned. Everything I like about Goblin Slayer comes later and has nothing to do with the first episode. Hell, I don’t even need the part of the first episode that depicts the character, Goblin Slayer, as a badass, edgelord, goblin killing machine. Even that isn’t all that high on my list of why I like the guy.

Now I’m speaking as someone who is just watching the anime. Asides from the rape scene, the other things that pops up most often whenever Goblin Slayer gets talked about is how messy an adaptation it is and how the manga and then the novel are way better and have more to flesh out. But the thing that I like about Goblin Slayer so far as a limited anime viewer, is the characters themselves. Plus, these characters only get further developed from their respective mangas and novels anyways.

The hallmark is of course good old Gobby Slayer at the front. If you ignore the first episode, Goblin Slayer isn’t a huge badass. Adventurers around him think he’s a dirty, weird maniac who only kills trash mobs yet has the audacity to be considered a highly ranked, silver adventurer. He barely talks, barely interacts with people around him, and in general if you spend any amount of time with him you’ll either want to leave or just be creeped out. But that’s what the people in the show and even the viewers outside the show see. What I see is an autistic man who is living life to the fullest, on his terms. Clearly that’s just my interpretation, but the fact of the matter is that Goblin Slayer isn’t just disinterested with anything that doesn’t involve killing goblins, he’s almost incapable of it. He does try interacting with people, like trying their alcohol or discussing a plan, but it comes out so cringingly awkward, especially when he knows people around him get offended so he even goes so far as to further clarify his point after a conversation. That happens often when Priestess points out the problems in his plans and he simply replies, “I see. Ok then.”

Things pick up when a steady cast of characters get introduced, everyone only having their titles as named such as High Elf, Dwarf Mage, and Lizard Shaman. But not only do we see these demi-beasts bounce off each other, such as the natural friction between an elf and a dwarf, but we then see them interact with Goblin Slayer, who is barely human.

One point I see as a take it or leave detail is the hard fantasy. Plenty of people are turned off by hard fantasy because it’s been done to death already. Normally I’d agree, but Goblin Slayer even then doesn’t make it plain old hard fantasy. Goblin Slayer is straight up Dungeons & Dragons, right down to the dice being rolled in the OP. Magic isn’t some vague power but is a limited resource to adventurers. Goblin Slayer even asks the spellcasters, “How many spell slots they have left.” Lizard Shaman requires totems to be used in order to summon familiars, and a later boss fight involves the fireball spell in a context that is familiar to anyone who’s played D&D, particularly when one party member says to scatter but another replies, “To where?” because in D&D lore, fireball spreads out in all directions and even around corners for 20 or so feet.

Basically what I’m trying to say it, the real first episode is episode two. Throw episode one into the dumpster and toss a match in there, because nothing of value was lost.

Oh, also, before I forget, Goblin Slayer really needs some consistency on how they animate the character. Sometimes he’s respectably drawn and animated and you think he’s a proper character in a dark fantasy anime, and other times he’s this huge block of dark anime CG, and there’s no rhyme or reason when he shifts between the two. He will literally have a conversation with the adventurer’s guild marm (which should admittedly be easy to animate) then in the next scene as he walks to the side to talk to Priestess he’ll be CG. But then when he’s walking away to the door to leave, suddenly he’s animated again and not CG? Goblin Slayer isn’t just proficient at killing goblins, he’s also capable of switching between animation styles too.

Josh Tolentino

I’m right with Strider on this one: Chuck that first episode in the damn trash, because it frankly does the show a disservice. Contrary to what a public relations consultant will tell you, there IS such a thing as bad publicity, and Goblin Slayer brought a mess of it on its own head with that first episode. I don’t blame anyone at all for being turned off the show by the big scene: It was graphic, shocking, and utterly transparent and cynical in its flailing attempt to establish the show as “dark fantasy”, where “dark” is the same kind of cringe-inducing edgelord BS that drives the likes of marketing campaigns for Dante’s Inferno (the game) or similar juvenile awfulness. 

That said, that’s actually the worst thing about it, since the novel (I’ve read the first volume) establishes the edginess so much better, without having to use an explicit rape scene to do it. Given the same scene is in the manga, this is a classic case of a scene getting “punched up” for dramatic effect and resulting in unforeseen consequences. It happened to Marvel comics with the whole character of Hank Pym, and it happened to Goblin Slayer with episode one. And for what? To emphasize that Goblins – a race that is almost never portrayed as good or even tolerable – are bad? That’s honestly as pointless as writing an op-ed in a Vatican newspaper titled “The Case Against The Devil” and thinking that’s a controversial take. 

But enough about that. Goblin Slayer is a fun, atypical sort of misanthropic power fantasy that absolutely revels in how the character of the Goblin Slayer just isn’t like anyone else, for better and for worse. He’s strong, no doubt about it, but he’s not like Kirito, Goku, Superman, or Tatsuya Shiba. He’s not special, or chosen. In fact, other people are the actual chosen ones, and by episode five we’ve already seen a few of them – the characters who would be the leads in a stereotypical Dragon Quest-derived JRPG. Instead, Goblin Slayer’s hypercompetence is the result of his utter and complete dedication to the trade of murdering goblins. His expertise is clearly-hard-earned, but the show doesn’t pretend he’s any kind of aspirational figure. Occasionally it even deigns to hint that this dude with the cool helmet might not be right in the head. 

Of course, the one thing it doesn’t want to do is make Goblin Slayer look genuinely bad. Like a badass, certainly, but not truly unappealing or unrelatable. Despite being shunned and mocked by the other adventurers, he still makes friends with a full party of competent people that desire his company. And his skills constantly land him in situations that threaten to take him away from the goblin-slaying he so craves, interacting with the fringes of the epic struggle against the Demon Lord. In its way, Goblin Slayer as a show is like Konosuba for peopel who think they’d do a better job than Batman. 

And that can be pretty fun to watch, all thing considered. Just skip the first episode. 

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What’s Love Got to Do With it?

Your opinions are so interesting... So I ask you, what you think about Furuta's love for Rize? What was revealed recently with Mutsuki makes me think they are same in a some way, I mean a twisted love and unhealthy obsession in a one-sided. Asked by Anonymous

An interesting question posed to me in an ask that I’ve decided to turn into a full meta because I think the asker is missing that Furuta and Mutsuki are not the only ones with unrequited love this arc. Luckily I’ve drawn up a chart.

Why all of this unrequited love all of a sudden? Is it because Ishida wishes to write a Shoujo manga with corpses, and has decided to convert the last arc into one? It goes deeper than that, so let’s analyze it under the cut. 

Furuta though might be a difficult example to start out with, he’s not the best at keeping a straight face, or his story straight either. He’s the kind of person who will cheerfully explain how he was born into child slavery with a smile on his face. 

Furuta is a rarity among Tokyo Ghoul villains though, because even though we’ve already elaborated on his tragic backstory™, he has yet to show any true angst over it. Arima was always ice cold and empty on the inside, Eto was consumed with despair and wanted to destroy everything, Tatara was only barely managing to suppress the flames of his anger, to name a few. All of these characters who wear their trauma and reasoning for fighting on their sleeves, and then here’s Furuta. He seems content with just getting in a good laugh. 

Furuta even on his own motivations is vague at best. Besides the “Super peace” quote, the best insight we get to direct questioning is:

“I will do what I want. I mean, I’ve got this precious life and everything might as well make the best of it, right?”

Which actually sounds a bit familiar:

Now, what Furuta did to Rize was horrible, but I think the fandom forgets she wasn’t exactly a saint before that point. There are actually more similarities than differences in Rize and Furuta, and it definitely comes from the place they were raised. Two garden children, one a meaningless throwaway meant to serve the family, and another a womb only meant to give her body to the family, or more specifically the men who had created the horrible structure she was born into and continued to perpetuate it. One escaped, and one stayed behind. 

Though the garden might have been manageable if these two opposites stayed together, when separated their experiences warped them. Once Rize escaped, she could not stop escaping. Every single restriction, even those placed on her by well meaning authority figures reminded her of home. 

Even escaping into freedom she realized, she was still in a cage. She probably could not handle the idea, and that was why she lashed out at the things around her. In her own mind though, it was not due to what had happened in the past, but rather an expression of her own strength. Rize was violent towards others because she was strong, because she got bored easily. Though, that kind of interpretation falls apart when you look at Rize’s victims. 

Men who placed any expectation on her. Whether it was Banjou who idealized her as a strong ghoul, Kaneki who saw her as a fellow lover of books, Rize is reminded again and again by the way men look at her of what she was born to be, of her home. A reminder she wants to escape from so bad, she’ll fight against everything around her, even the stable home she had in the sixth ward. 

Rize was constantly trying to escape from herself, because the garden had taught her not to see herself as a human being. This goes beyond the human vs ghoul divide, Rize likely did not even regard herself as a person if she was born to just be breeding fodder. Even after escaping from the garden though, in her unwillingness to admit those vulnerabilities, in an attempt to cover them up she continued to deny herself personhood Because of that Rize is empty on the inside, that is her boredom, the thing she can never fill up no matter how much she binges.  It’s almost like Kamishiro Rize never existed in the first place.

Perhaps that is why everybody seems to project whatever they want onto Rize, because she never had that much of a personality to begin with. Just try to describe Rize for a moment, she’s.... vicious, bloodthirsty, but those are just her actions. She likes books? She gets bored easily? Those are just hobbies or patterns of behavior. 

Here’s where we finally return to Furuta. As I said, the two are more similiar than they are different, to the point of being foils. Furuta is also another person without a strong sense of self, it’s how he can in one moment flip from this: 

To this:

To this:

That was just from one scene though, you can pick a few more scenes: Furuta and Eto round two, Kaneki and Furuta talking for the first time after Kaneki became one eyed king, and the result is the same when Furuta takes a step back from his disguise personality as a meek assistant, he acts so erratically he may as well be throwing personality traits against a wall to see what sticks. One might think this lack of self would be a disadvantage for Furuta, but he’s weaponized it, because as long as the moment calls for it he can become anybody. 

His acts tend to go so deep though, that on two occasions we’ve seen his inner monologue, which usually presents a characters true thoughts on the manner go along with what are his obvious lies to the readers.

Furuta does not want to be a person, just like Rize. The way he foils Rize though is that he goes in the complete opposite direction. Rize wants to escape from the society that created her, so much so she’s always trying to escape. She becomes the concept of freedom to others. Furuta however, stayed behind in V. Apparently, all that time plotting to take it over fro the inside out. To Furuta, the path forward is to stay inside the system and master it perfectly, Furuta wants to become the system. Thus Furuta’s art in the Calendar being him literally reveling while still inside the cage. In a series all about breaking the cage, Furuta wants to keep it in place, because he’s been climbing to the top of it all his life. 

I hope this brief character moment has also done away with two common misinterpretation’s of Furuta’s character. One, that he has no consistent personality or motivation (That’s the point Ishida is trying to get at). 

Two, that Furuta seems to exist without consequence in a narrative that otherwise is very consistent at keeping karmic consequence on every character within it. Tokyo Ghoul is a tragedy after all, they are not known for their leniency. Furuta however has murdered, Matsumae who was only trying to protect Shuu by laying down her life, killed Shiono and innocent, offed Eto before her revolution could even hit full steam and then stole even that forward motion to kill the Washuu and place himself in power, and also played double agent several times without getting caught once. Despite doing clearly bad things, Furuta is unaffected by them himself, and every consequence possibly dealt his way he shakes off. 

Furuta can be such a hypocrite at times, it’s basically a major facet of his personality. 

Remember though, that the system Furuta is trying to embody is hypocritical in itself. A system of rank and achievement that claims to be for the protection of humanity from ghouls, but is run by ghoul’s themselves who have sold out their own kind. For Furuta, indulging in his own hypocrisy is part of the joke. He’s the man determined to get the last laugh after all. 

Even if I celebrate it, I can’t help it. I’m just a human being who doesn’t think of anything about the day they were born.

PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)

[x] I Have Become 6 Years Old

As referenced in his birthday poem, Furuta thinks absolutely nothing of himself at all as being born a human being, but encourages others to laugh anyway. It’s almost like a coping mechanism. 

Then returning to why Furuta seems to escape karma despite quite clearly being a hypocrite who does bad things. It’s for more reasons than just ‘he’s the villain’ in true tragic narrative both the villain and the hero still face consequences. In a perfectly structured tragedy though, the failing that allows tragic consequence to finally catch up to them should come from a fatal flaw. 

However, the modern understanding of fatal flaw is different from the greek one. The greeks believed in “Hamartia”, which was a flaw:

The tragic hero's powerful wish to achieve some goal inevitably encounters limits, usually those of human frailty (flaws in reason, hubris, society), the gods (through oracles, prophets, fate), or nature. Aristotle says that the tragic hero should have a flaw and/or make some mistake (hamartia). 

This flaw was often how the hero differed from society as a whole. It was why Aristotle’s definition of tragedy ends with, 

“purification" (catharsis): tragedy first raises (it does not create) the emotions of pity and fear, then purifies or purges them.

Therefore, having purified themselves from the flaw through watching it in theatre, the audience could return to life participating as good greek citizens. 

The Furuta shown throughout most of Tokyo Ghoul though is the perfect representation of the society set up by the CCG. He is perfectly respsectful to superiors, cuts down ghouls without mercy, and climbs the rank due to his gaining strength. Most of all though, in a society that suppresses individual will and personhood, Furuta makes no attempts at being a person. By allowing society to perfectly overtake him, by being such a perfect actor, Furuta shows no defects from the society he was raised in. He has no hamartia, and therefore no consequences.In a cast full of characters who are trying to suppress their emotions to reach external goals, promotion, gain strength and power, destroy what’s around them, Furuta is simply the best actor almost to the point of being aware of the scenario he’s in. That’s why he succeeds. 

However, nobody can keep up an act perfectly. For Furuta, the consequences of his actions, and the pathway he’ll get there has already been set.

This is called foreshadowing, it’s pretty obvious too. Here’s where we have Furuta’s source of Hamartia. In a society where men are called to use women like breeding tubes, especially Washuu men, Furuta truly loved one woman once. So much so he risked his own freedom so she could have hers. 

Rize could have left it at that, but he’s clearly still planning to use Rize. Even though if he really wanted to live without affection, and become the perfect embodiment of the system he is acting as, he should just dispose of her and sever all ties. Furuta is not acting logical here though. He’s bringing Rize back under his control so she can’t roam free anymore, but he refuses to kill her either.

He claims his reason is so he can marry her again, and produce many offspring. This is obviously another farce on his part. It’s doubtful Furuta lacks so much self awareness that he thinks Rize would really love him after this point, or that he thinks he’s somehow doing better by Rize by harvesting her to create more of Kanou’s quinx out of what seem to be garden children, rather than forcing her to conceive Washuu heirs. 

Let’s assume for a moment that Furuta is not a cartoon character, but rather a person that is cognizant of all of these things. What exactly is he trying to accomplish with his treatment of Rize then? On a basic level he’s objectifying her, removing her personhood. He’s turning her into a tool to further advance his efforts, but why?

When Furuta was caught off guard by Takatsuki, the first thing he flashes back to is Rize Kamishiro, in what possibly was one of their first meetings. 

Rize is probably the only thing Furuta has ever really wanted for himself. Furuta is strong right now, but he associates the time he was weak and powerless with his memories of Rize. That was also the only time Furuta was ever genuine, before he started putting on masks and laughing through life. His love for Rize is his last vestige of humanity in himself. That’s why Furuta makes a conscious effort to control her, to objectify her, because he doesn’t want to be a person. The same way that Rize lashed out violently at everything around her. 

The two of them both didn’t want to be reminded of how weak they really were. For Furuta though, rather than a societal construct, that reminder lies wound up in a person, a person he spent childhood days laughing and playing with. 

Love reminds Furuta of what makes him human. Furuta is nimudashing away from his humanity though, he has to in order to fit into his society. Thus, there’s no room for love either. 

Furuta probably did, and still does really love Rize too. No matter how twisted he shows it. One might recall the sky falling poem.

It’s always like this.

Only people dull to pain hurt me.

She truly loved me,

Only she didn’t know how to love.

What a stupid God.

[X]

What else can you expect though, from a boy growing up in a breeding garden where he was shown no love.

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this: “Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.” …But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else? A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die. Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

One might point to this as Furuta’s moral failing, that he now is stuck chasing after the illusion of love in Rize. 

Remember though, that Furuta is not the only character to project onto Rize.

He’s not the only one who wanted to take her strength for his own, whether symbolically or literally.

Looking at the chart posted at the very beginning of this post, this entire arc is filled with characters chasing after the illusion of love. Taking the example from Haise’s birthday poem, we’re finally given why Unrequited Love is so prominent in this moon arc. ‘How is someone who has never been loved capable of loving someone else?’

How are these characters who exist in a society that has never shown them love, capable of finding love anyway? To some extent, every single character is acting like Furuta. They are repressing some part of themselves to achieve a goal they think they want, while at the same time fantasizing about some unattainable intimacy with another person that they believe is love.

Be it Matsuri, who only wants to have the freedom to choose for himself, but chooses to support the oppressive regime of the Washuu instead. He forefeits his freedom for power. 

Be it Urie, who violently lashes out at a ghoul while thinking that all he wants is to take Mutsuki home. At this point he’s forefeited most of his humanity and gotten nothing in return. 

Be it Mutsuki, who finally gained a stable home environment and something strong to control him when Haise Sasaki was around, but only ever developed his personal strength and eventually gave up that peaceful setting for violence.

Haise, who was so afraid of his past, but looked at Touka and cried because for once he was reminded that there were beautiful things about his past as well. Who however, chose not to pursue that past because of his current security at the CCG.

Be it Touka who tried to blunt, brash, violent, unlikeable, to blindly push away all attachments, only to cry while she was alone when they left. Who wound up the opposite of all of that and waiting quietly for a person who had been erased, pining effectively. 

Be it Tatara, who claimed he was happy with everything, including the death of Aogiri tree if it meant that his hatred could end with Houji’s death. The man who gave up everything for his own hatred and revenge, only to die claiming he didn’t get what he wanted. 

Be it Eto, who sought somebody to provide her with hope, and for that sake gave up her identity as Takatsuki, her editor, her foster parent, the lives of many CCG investigators, her freedom in the end, for the sake of that revolution, only to end up in this state just as her revolution was beginning to turn. 

Be it Ui, a delicate person who thought he wanted to become strong so he could stand as a hero of justice. Who gave up his tender side to the CCG to gain that strength.Only to realize after he had lost them all what he wanted was the human connections he had formed through the ranks of the CCG. 

Be it Hairu, who claimed she wanted to be strong so that Arima would acknowledge that strength. Only in the end to flash back to the garden in her dying moment, as it was the only time in her life she was shown kindness or treated like a person. 

Be it Takizawa, who thought he wanted to get stronger so he could surpass those he saw as extraordinary. He thought he wanted to escape the role of second best, thus he violently fought against Sasaki and decided to play ghoul and give up his personhood. Only what he really wanted in the end was the security of being acknowledged, and to be acknowledged by one person.

Be it Akira, who claimed she wanted to get strong in order to avenge her mother, and father, and suppressed herself to act as the perfect CCG agent in each of her dead parent’s place, but in the end only wanted to have somebody see her as herself, and by that extension be able to act on her own wants.

The pattern of characters denying some fundamental part of themselves, some part of their personhood in order to achieve some goal they think they want and to eliminate their weakness, only to secretly project onto another person the emotional intimacy, the personhood, and the vulnerability they think is impossible to have is a pattern that repeats again, and again, and again, and in this arc especially as the world is starting to come apart and change. 

The reason this pattern repeats is because for these characters, love cannot exist in their worlds. It cannot exist in the rigid patriarchical system of the CCG that stamps out humanity and weakness, because to love is be human and weak. Therefore you get these characters who want with all of their beings, but cannot take a single step to move towards that love. What is the result of that? Eto summarized it quite nicely. 

These characters unable to find fulfillment in their love, are pushed forward towards violence and destruction. Thus the cycle seems to continue, on and on forever. 

A manga with that much unrequited love is therefore, not a shoujo with corpses, but a straight up tragedy.