#but ok unless we reconnect in a positive way i am keeping this to the grave 😌 i lw miss him though 😔 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tommybaholland · 4 years ago

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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy.

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool.

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game.

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him.

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously.

are you alive??

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle.

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings.

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.”

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right.

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously.

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.”

“wow, that’s great!”

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.”

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.”

“you never let me down!”

his smile never let you down.

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky.

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing.

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them.

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them.

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all.

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood.

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started.

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing.

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes.

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though

thank you i hope its going well

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning.

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more.

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would.

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement.

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part.

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :)

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid?

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to.

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now

was it okay though?

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true?

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news.

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now

oh well that’s great!

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore.

you had your priorities and suga had his.

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared.

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him.

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect.

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume?

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him?

Yeah could you?

yeah sure!

Yay thanks!

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out.

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating.

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious.

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month.

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him.

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life.

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!”

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it,

you were in love with koshi sugawara.

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to.

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way?

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon.

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him?

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals?

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :)

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet.

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings?

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

it was the friday before the finals game.

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months.

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team.

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.”

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious.

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi.

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there.

you didn’t get much sleep that night.

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most.

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it.

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it.

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top.

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success.

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up.

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you.

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did.

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory.

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair.

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first.

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him.

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

#haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara oneshot #sugawara fluff #sugawara angst #tommybaholland

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emotionally-imbruised · 5 years ago

Text

Floating Along

A/N: Here’s a little follow-up blurb thing to Sink or Swim (lifeguard!harry) Enjoy :)

Contains: well, there’s actually smut in this one so...

Word Count: 4.6k

“Then, m’thinking if we bring this tune in,” Harry paused before pressing play on an instrumental recording he had helped produce earlier that afternoon. As the music started to play, he moved back to the soundboard sat on the table to his left and began adjusting the various knobs and dials on it to create a steady beat. “And tone it down a little bit, it’ll make an excellent underlying track.”

The man and woman standing behind him nodded in surprise, making no effort in hiding just how impressed they were as they continued listening to the music that was being mixed in front of them. With being an intern at this record label for only two short months now, Harry had shown a great sense of knowledge and understanding when it came to the profession of music and wasn’t long in leaving a lasting impression on his colleagues. Mike and Alex were the first people to really take Harry in under their wing when he started working for them. They let him take part in the actual music-making process much faster than any intern in the past and were always blown away by just how good he was.

Once the song was over, the two of them approached the young man with wide grins.

“I’ll never understand how fast you pick up on these things, kid,” Mike stated while patting Harry on the shoulder excitedly, causing him to chuckle.

“Learn from the best, don’t I?”

“Flattery will only get you so far,” Alex laughed as she started playing the track back again and nodded in appreciation. “Remind me though, what was it you did before this? I know you went to college and all, but work-wise.”

“I was a lifeguard,” Harry replied and looked at his two supervisors with a shrug. “Nothin’ too special.”

“Right!” Alex exclaimed, thinking of how she’s heard this story before. “How could I forget? That’s how you met your girlfriend, right?”

Harry hummed in response and nodded with a goofy grin, falling silent as thoughts of Y/N entered his mind. There was undoubtedly this sense of happiness that only she was able to create for him, and it always left Harry in a bit of a daze. Mike and Alex have observed numerous times just how lovestruck Harry would become, solely at the mention of his girlfriend and this moment was no exception; however, it was short-lived when Harry’s phone lit up with a notification of a missed call and multiple text messages.

“Oh, shit.”

In an instant, Harry was out of his seat and darting across the room to grab the device from where it rested on one of the plush leather chairs in the corner. He muttered the word shit multiple times as he read over the messages he had been sent, anxiously tugging his hand through his curls as realization washed over him.

“Everything alright?” Mike asked from his spot across the room.

“Didn’t realize what time it was,” Harry responded, reaching for his jacket and pulling it on before making way towards the door. “I’m uh- I’m really late. Fuck, Y/N is going to hate me.”

“Then get a move on, man,” Alex told him and waved him off. “Get home to your girl, we’ll see you on Monday.”

With one last smile and a quick nod, Harry was out the door and trying to get home as fast as he could.

Y/N had just finished canceling the reservation she and Harry had at a fancy restaurant just down the street when her boyfriend came crashing through the door of her apartment, causing her to yelp. “Oh my god!”

“I’m so sorry m’late,” Harry spat out as he kicked off his shoes and made his way to the kitchen.

She sat on one of the barstools, leaning her elbows onto the counter, and dressed in that new black dress she refused to let Harry see her wear until she felt like it. Apparently, that night was tonight, and damn did she look good. Harry couldn’t help but internally groan just at the sight of her and cursed himself even more for being late.

“It’s alright,” she replied with an easy tone as she watched him approach where she was, surprising Harry. Maybe she wasn’t mad?

“I- you look beautiful, love,” he mumbled once he reached her, and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her from the stool and in closer to him. “I really am sorry.”

“And I said it was fine, H,” Y/N told him honestly before standing on her tiptoes so she could peck his lips. “I just canceled our reservation, and I had a really long day at work. I’m completely ok with staying in tonight unless you still wanted to do something?”

“I’d love to stay in,” he replied with a smirk.

“Perfect, I’ll pour us some wine.”

Y/N unwrapped Harry’s arm from around her waist and moved to the other side of the island to grab some wine glasses, leaving Harry to lean against the counter and patiently wait for her to return as he glanced around the apartment.

Y/N’s one-bedroom unit was much nicer than Harry’s, and he’d be the first to admit that. Her building was in a less sketchy part of the city, and about a twenty-minute drive from his dingy flat and messy roommate. When Y/N told Harry about the money she had saved to afford this place, he didn’t believe her. But being true to her word, she actually did have quite a bit of money saved before she even started working at Oceanside Resort, and continued saving when she began her job as a lifeguard there with Harry a few months ago.

Every day since reconnecting with the girl he somewhat knew back in high school, she has continuously blown him away. After developing a relationship with her this past summer while at the resort, he had spent the last few months wishing he’d gotten the chance to know her like he did now when they were younger. But, although Harry is only greedy when it comes to his girl, he doesn’t let that fact bother him too much. For now, he got to call her his own, and he never wanted to give that up. She was too good for him.

“What are you doing?”

Y/N had watched as Harry mindlessly walked away from the island and made way to the large glass windows of her living room, observing as he leaned against the glass and looked down at the city lights below. Her words caught him off guard, though, and she had to stifle a chuckle when he jumped and accidentally knocked his head against the window.

“Ow!” Harry groaned and placed his hand over where he just hit his forehead, a pout forming on his lips when he turned to see his girlfriend laughing at him. “It’s not funny.”

“Oh, but it is,” she replied while shaking her head and continuing to giggle, only stopping when he moved his hand to see there was already a red spot forming on the left side of his forehead. “Shit, H, how hard did you hit did you hit your head?”

Harry just shrugged as he watched concern take over Y/N’s features while she rushed around the counter and over to him. She wasted no time in pushing her hand into his curls so that his hair would be out of his face as she looked him over, a tsking sound leaving her mouth as she assessed the damage. “Didn’t think it was that hard.”

“It’s red already,” she told him and reached down to grab his hand so that she could lead him over to the barstool again. “Sit.”

Harry did what he was told, knowing he’d be sassed if he didn’t and waited as Y/N disappeared down the hallway and into the washroom, only to come back a moment later with a damp face cloth. She quickly placed the cold rag against his forehead, causing him to flinch slightly and smirk to dance on her lips. She was enjoying it far too much.

“S’cold.”

“It’s supposed to be,” she told him firmly, pausing as she began dabbing at the spot for a moment before placing it back against his skin. “It'll help keep it from swelling you klutz.”

“I am no such thing,” he scoffed and chuckled as Y/N glanced at him skeptically. “Ok, maybe a little. Thank you though, love.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled at him gently before removing the cloth and tossing it into the empty kitchen sink. His arms snaked around her waist yet again as she lazily wrapped her arms over his shoulders and positioned herself between his legs, mindlessly reaching up so that she could play with the small curls that rested at the nape of his neck. “How was your day?”

“It was good,” Harry told her. “Did lots at the studio, which is why I took so long getting here. How was yours?”

“Long and exhausting,” Y/N groaned dramatically and leaned her head onto Harry’s shoulder, smiling when he started rubbing small circles on her back. “You know, I thought I saw it all with some of the people we had come to the pool at Oceanside, but no, some of the people I have to serve while waitressing just take the cake.”

“That bad, huh?”

“You don’t even want to know,” she stated before moving away from him and sitting on the stool opposite of him, not noticing the way Harry frowned at her sudden absence from his embrace. “Let’s just say I’m thrilled to have this weekend off. I get to spend tonight with you. Nick and Aimee are coming to visit tomorrow, it’ll be a good couple of days.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Harry responded with a smile as he gently placed his hand on her knee and started rubbing small circles with his thumb. “What would you like to do tonight then?”

Y/N smiled back before nodding towards the two glasses of wine sitting on the counter that she poured before Harry hit his head on the window. “Why don’t we have some of that and see where the night takes us?”

Naturally, Harry agreed.

The two of them remained seated as they sipped on their wine. They covered everything from how Harry basically got to produce a song while at work that day, to how Y/N thought she found an online course she might want to start taking, and what the game plan was for when their friends came to visit the following day.

After about a glass and a half in, they both migrated towards the living room and prepared to curl up on the couch while an episode from the fourth season of House, M.D played in the background, much to Y/N’s dismay.

“I’m not done the second season yet, Harry.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for you, because I think Hugh Laurie’s voice really sets the mood. Plus, it’s my Netflix account.”

Despite the eye roll Y/N gave her boyfriend, she welcomed his presence as he sat next to her on the couch before resuming their conversation. They talked for what seemed like twenty minutes but really was actually well over an hour. This type of thing always happened to them. It was so hard for them to not get lost in what the other was saying, for they were just so intrigued by and comfortable with one another.

As their conversation died down a bit and most of the bottle of wine had been consumed, Harry started really looking Y/N over as he finished off the last bit of red liquid that was in his glass.

“Did I tell you how good that dress looks on you?”

“Think you might’ve when you first got home, but I forget,” Y/N answered and giggled, only to cut herself off a second later when a hiccup involuntarily left her mouth. Harry knew how much Y/N hated having the hiccups, so watching her scowl each time her upper body shook with one was quite amusing, despite the frown that stayed planted on her mouth. “Oh, come on.”

She was getting annoyed, which Harry knew. He was also aware that the only way for Y/N to get over her hiccups was to either scare her or take her mind off them. After a moment of debate, Harry chose the second option when he leaned over and crashed his lips against hers.

A final hiccup mixed with a surprised squeak left her mouth at the sudden contact, but soon enough, she was melting into the way his hand delicately cupped her cheek while the other rubbed up and down her thigh. Once a few moments of making out passed, Y/N eventually pulled away; almost right after Harry pulled her close enough so that she’d be straddling his lap, and he couldn’t help the whine that he made as her lips left his.

“What was that for, hmm?” Y/N asked as she started brushing her hands through his hair.

“Thought I’d try to help get rid of your hiccups,” Harry replied while pinching lightly at her sides. “Did it work?”

Y/N waited a moment to see if her hiccups were still there or not, her eyes widening when she discovered they weren’t. “Now how in the hell did you know that would make them go away?”

“I didn’t,” he shrugged. “Just thought it’d get your mind off them. Did you want me to stop?”

“No, you can keep going,” Y/N stated as she leaned down to catch his lips in yet another steamy kiss.

Predictably, both Harry and Y/N were immensely turned on and were beyond the point of no return rather quickly. They stayed latched onto one another as Harry started laying Y/N back onto the cushions and let his hands start roaming her body, all while not breaking the kiss as he hovered over her.

His first move was to unzip her dress. It took him a moment to find the zipper (that was located on the side rather than the back, which he thought was stupid) but soon enough, he was tugging it down and making Y/N’s cleavage much more visible.

Y/N moaned in pleasure as Harry reached up to start massaging her breasts through the fabric of the dress. She smirked against his mouth at how he paused slightly upon coming into contact with her boobs and waited for him to say something about it.

“No bra?” He asked huskily before trailing kisses from her mouth, across her jaw, and down her neck.

“Didn’t think I needed one,” she breathed out as Harry started sucking on what seemed to be his favourite spot in the dip between her neck and collarbone, biting down on her lip to prevent another moan from escaping.

“You’re right, you don’t,” Harry replied as he continued making a trail of kisses further down her body. “Makes things easier for me.”

Before Y/N could even think of coming up with a witty response, she was cut off by her own gasp as Harry gently separated her legs and immediately indulged in her warmth. He placed another soft kiss to her centre through the lacy black underwear she decided to wear and felt his ego inflate at just how wet she was already.

“Don’t say it,” Y/N spoke up as if she had read his thoughts, tugging at his curls although he hadn’t even done anything yet. Refusing to make eye contact, she leaned her head back onto one of the pillows so she wouldn’t have to see the smug look she already knew he was looking at her with. “Just keep going, H. Please.”

“Oh, but you’re so wet for me, love,” Harry teased as he looped his fingers around her underwear and tugged them down, mindlessly tossing them away once he had them completely off. “But you don’t need to tell me twice.”

In a matter of seconds, he was hiking the dress up a bit more and burying his face back into Y/N’s burning core. Harry then began rotating between sucking harshly on her clit and licking long wet stripes up her middle, devouring every bit of the wetness that had already accumulated... and becoming desperate for there to be more.

Y/N’s moans mixed with the sounds of Harry lapping her up were just barely audible over the sound of House still playing in the background, but to them, it was deafening. If Harry could keep the sounds Y/N made when he did this type of thing on a constant loop in his brain, he would. Without hesitation. He loved every freaking moment of this.

The way one of her hands tugged at his hair while other gripped on to the side of the couch for dear life was a sight Harry thought belonged in the Louvre, or at least to be engraved into his memories forever. It was a beautiful picture, but what Harry really wanted to witness was her coming undone.

There was a slightly nagging thought at the back of Y/N’s mind as this all unfolded. The thought being of how she was getting properly fucked by her boyfriend, on her couch next to the vast windows that pretty well showed off everything to the streets of LA below when the lights were on. Usually, they made it to the bedroom when it got heated between them, but for some reason, tonight things weren’t that way, and Y/N hoped no one walking past her building felt the need to look up to the eighth floor and see what was going on.

Harry could sense that Y/N was worrying about something, and that made the want to make her cum, hard, that much more of a goal for him. As much as he truly loved this woman, he hated how her overthinking mind could get the best of her during the most inconvenient times and knew he needed to get her mind off whatever it was bugging her.

Without any warning or indication, Harry moved his mouth up to solely focus on attacking her clit while beginning to pump two fingers deep inside of her. The loud gasp that left his girlfriends mouth assured Harry he was doing something right before he soon added a third finger and started curling them, making sure to hit that spot he knew made her back arch and toes curl.

After that, Y/N was a goner. Once Harry had found a steady pace of sucking and nibbling at her sensitive bud all while inserting his fingers in and out of her at the same rate, it didn’t take long for the familiar bubble of an oncoming orgasm to form and make her knees tremble.

“H-Harry, I’m gonna,” she stuttered but stopped when Harry curled his fingers one last time and sent her right over the edge. “Fuck.”

A series of moans and groans left Y/N’s mouth as she gripped onto Harry’s hair for dear life and came entirely undone. Harry watched it all unfold, loving the way her eyes stayed screwed shut and her breathing became uneven all while he lapped up every bit of her release.

She was out of breath by the time Harry moved away from her centre and slowly started making his way up to her mouth again. The tangy aftertaste of her own release danced on her taste buds as Harry was quick in inserting his tongue into her mouth and deepening the kiss entirely. The gesture caught her off guard, but again, she soon found herself getting lost in his touch as she felt his hardened erection brush the inside of her thigh through his dark jeans.

“If we’re doing this out here,” Y/N started and broke away from the kiss, giggling when another whine left Harry’s mouth. “You’re going to need a condom.”

Sure, Y/N was on birth control, and the two of them had not used a condom many times before, but they’ve never fucked on the couch like they just had. She knew that if things went any further, it would more than likely end in a mess that she did not feel cleaning up afterward. A condom or just merely washing her bedding once they were done was a much better option.

Harry pondered her words for a moment before ultimately deciding to move their activities elsewhere, mainly so that he wouldn’t have to wear the piece of rubber Y/N had mentioned. “Bedroom it is.”

Another surprised yelp left Y/N’s mouth as Harry scrambled off the couch, and started pulling her with him. She stumbled a little as she tried to find her balance due to Harry’s impatience, but luckily for her, he was there to steady her before placing another peck on her lips and eventually leading them down the hall to her bedroom.

None of them bothered with the light, knowing through muscle memory just how far the bed was from the door along with its dark figure that could be made out from the dim lights that shone in from outside. Harry immediately removed Y/N of her dress once she crashed onto the mattress, and she started to get to work on unbuttoning the red shirt he decided to wear to work that morning.

Once they were both completely bare, Y/N pushed herself closer to the headboard, and Harry followed after her. She thought about throwing a curveball and getting on top. However, Harry seemed on a mission as he began littering her skin with kisses once again, so she just let him have his way… this time.

Harry made sure to press his length against Y/N’s inner thigh once again, grinning into her collarbone as she moaned in anticipation, but kept her waiting as he leaned over to turn the bedside lamp on.

Y/N snapped her gaze to Harry, confused as to why he felt the need to turn the light on. “What’re you-.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry cut her off as he took in the way she was splayed out entirely for him. He noticed the blush that was forming on her cheeks as he leaned down and repositioned himself, pausing so that he can mumble one last thing into her ear. “Had to get a good look at you before I fuck yeh into next week.”

Before Y/N could even react, Harry was pushing himself into her slick core, causing her walls to burn at the sensation. Harry was not small by any means. Y/N learned that the hard way this summer the first time they slept together. She liked to think she’d become accustomed to his size, but sometimes that proved to be wrong, especially when it’s been a little while since the last time they went at it.

The gasp that left her mouth at Harry entering inside of her was a mixture of pleasure and pain but only left her wanting more as her nails unintentionally started digging into his back.

“You alright?”

His question was sincere, but Y/N couldn’t find it in her to answer as he finally came to a stop; every inch of him covered by her. Harry waited for a response though, he always did, and when Y/N nodded to indicate that she was okay, he got right to work.

His thrusts started off slowly, easing into a steady pace that soon picked up fast. Each push was harder and deeper than the last, and they both knew that neither of them would last long if they kept going at it this way, which Harry decided he was ok with.

Y/N clawed at his back as his movements increased in speed, and Harry started hitting her in all the right places. She moaned each time his skin came in contact with her own, and couldn’t help but gasp whenever Harry’s prick reached that particular spot, which quickly had her seeing stars.

Still sensitive from being eaten out on the couch earlier, that all too familiar bubble formed in the pit of Y/N’s stomach and each time Harry would thrust deep inside of her, that bubble got closer to bursting. “H.”

“I’m almost there too, baby. Gonna get you there first, though.”

True to his word, Harry pushed himself deep inside of her a few more times while sucking harshly at her collarbone and soon enough, Y/N was being hit with another wave of an orgasm.

This one was more intense than the last, that much Harry could tell. He saw it in the way her eyes fluttered shut, heard it in the way she moaned his name, and felt it in the way her nails dug into his back and her walls pulsated around his throbbing cock. It was like stimulation to his senses and was more than enough to send him right over the edge with her.

Y/N could feel the thick, long spurts of Harry’s release shoot inside her as he muffledly groaned the word fuck over and over again into the curve of her neck. His thrusts became sloppy all until he came to a complete stop and flopped onto the mattress beside her, gently pulling himself out.

She could feel his cum begin to drip out of her but didn’t move as she listened to hers and Harry’s uneven breaths, and attempted to slow down her heart rate. After a few moments went by, Harry was soon tugging at the blanket they were laying on as a silent way to tell her to lift up so that he can cover them with it. Y/N obliged, and a few seconds later, the blanket was draped over her as she nestled into her boyfriend's chest.

The two of them stayed like that for a few minutes, Harry listening to Y/N’s breathing while she listened to the steadying beat of his heart. Once they were both relaxed enough, Harry reached over to turn the light off again and finally spoke up.

“I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time he told Y/N this and most definitely would not be the last, but regardless of that fact, his words still made her grin like a complete idiot. “And I love you, Harry.”

“Say it again,’ he said while he started mindlessly playing with Y/N’s hair. “But different.”

It took a second for Y/N to realize that Harry meant to say it in a different language. One of his favourite things to hear her talk about it all the travels she went on before moving back to California and working at Oceanside, and he just loved how she could say different things in the languages of the countries she visited. I love you, being one of them.

“Je t’aime.”

“Again,” Harry replied as he shifted to look at her, even though it was dark.

“Jeg elsker deg.”

“Again.”

“Eu amo-te.”

“And again.”

“Harry,” Y/N whined. “I want to go to bed.”

“Just one last time,” he started as he brought her hand up to his mouth to place a soft kiss against it. “Please?”

“I love you,” she replied one last time before scooting over and cuddling against him once again. The exhaustion of the day's events soon caught up with her, and she wasn’t long in gradually falling asleep in her boyfriend's arms.

But, before he was sure she was fully passed out, Harry brushed his hand through her hair and spoke on last time.

“I love you so much, Y/N. Sleep well, m’love.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles preferences #1dff #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #lifeguard!harry

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princelockedinatower · 5 years ago

Text

Peppermint

The dark streets aren't a place for anyone or anything at night, that is... except for the ones who have no place within the light to begin with.

I and the others I am meeting are the exception.

I waltz down the carriage lanes of this old sleepy town in my favorite dark jeans and a black knitted sweater, a forest green cloak draped over me with the hood down, catching wisps of dark figures in the corners of my eyes. These creatures are not quite of this world, nor is the figure, visible only by the translucent outlines of white waltzing along with me tonight. The common folk need not fear these creatures, unless you know they exist they are impartial. Then even if you do, leaving out some seeds and honey as an offering will keep you from harm, give them blueberry tea if you want some good luck.

Tonight I climb the hill just beyond the old yew tree the fae adore and that everyone refuses to cut down least they fear a despicable end. No one besides me and a few others dare to climb it at night, they say strange things happen there, dark figures prowling about almost like regular animals, yet their limbs too long and narly. When climbing you’ll get an ice chill down your spine, a sinking feeling in your gut and the one clear thought you can manage out is something along the lines of: I should not be here.

The way I and the other I am meeting ward this off is by leaving generous offerings before we ascend. I find McDonald's fries generally please them, so arriving at the foot I leave four extra large fries and a pack of chicken nuggets, right beside my coven’s other offerings. I can see no figures awaiting me from where I stand, a bad sign usually but I start up the hill against my better judgment.

Reaching the top, my calves are burning, the trek never gets easier. I lean down to massage my right calf, my dyed red hair falling around me and pale skin a sharp contrast in the full moon’s light. As my hood falls over my eyes I spot two figures lying on the ground, one covered with a light blue cloak, dark tightly braided hair and face peeking out, the other a maroon cloak and a hot pink dress.

I address the girl with the maroon cloak first “You hiked this thing in heels? What are you? Cat woman girl?” I ask rummaging through my bag for my supplies.

Bonita laughs “You wish hun, got your supplies?” she says sitting up elbowing Makena.

I nod, both of them standing and whipping out their supplies from their own bags.

We start to set up the temporary alter as Makena speaks, getting our attention “Bonita, Roxy-” she hesitates on her next words, half way done her particular task to set up “This might be the last time we pray and do a spell together, you know, with all of us off to college in a few weeks,” she says, her voice wavering a bit while fiddling with her long curly hair.

Bonita’s eyebrows shoot up and she makes a face before chuckling “If you’re implying that we’re gonna grow apart sweetie while we’re in college you better evaluate dear Roxy’s OCD level schedule of communication and visits,”

Makena blushes and shrinks but laughs with us at my expense.

We make short work of setting up the rest of the altar and preparing to pray.

Tonight I’m going to pray to Sarasvati for help forming and performing my Valedictorian speech, something I desperately need. I’ve been rewriting it for a week now and still haven’t made any headway. I also need to pray to my main hoe Soma to make Grad amazing and Dhat to bless the spell we’re about to do. I’m not sure what Bonita and Makena pray about, or who to, guess I never really asked. Regardless we each get into our preferred positions and pray to whichever gods and goddesses we choose about whichever we want.

The graduation ceremony took place in pitch black, the sun already set, small shifts of movement coming from the rows of seats and the rafters, family and supporters brought together alive and passed, human and not. The only light coming from the spotlights on the stage as Principle Chiba gave an inspirational and touching speech that moved everyone here. Applause began and continued as I replaced Mr. Chiba at the podium, soon it died down and I spoke a silent prayer I would do well before I began.

“Fellow classmates, graduates of 2018, I will not bore you with a lengthy speech going on about things that don’t matter, we all have better things to do. Instead I will give you some words of advice given to me by someone I miss dearly, who has gone on to University in a very far away place yet I remain close to. That advice is to simply, remember to call. Call to say how beautiful the leaves are on the trees outside your dorm window. Call to ask how they’re doing. Call to just say I miss you. Call to make them open their bedroom window because they’re home for the Holidays and you’re outside freezing, 20 ft up in the air on a tree and regretting every life choice you’ve made up to that point. So call, it keeps you close to those you care about. Thank you.”

I don’t think we called enough.

Sitting here, awkwardly in this cafe we used to come to in high school when conversation just flowed, I wonder what went wrong. I know we didn’t follow the schedule, school and life got in the way, but… that shouldn’t stop us from reconnecting.

“So, any special someone in your guys lives?” I ask, a small forced and nervous smile on display as I grasp my mug.

My sister Sofia shoots me a sarcastic thumbs up. I’m tempted to flip her off.

Bonita nods “Their name’s Avery, they’re pretty nice,” she says looking down into her mug.

“I’m not seeing anyone right now actually,” Makena says, taking a bite of her pastry.

I nod my head, this is not going well “That’s nice,” I take a sip from my mug, racking my brain to come up with something to start a decent conversation.

Makena pretends to get a text and looks at her phone “Sorry guys, it’s been fun but my mom wants me home to make sugar cookies, see you later!” she says practically sprinting from the table.

I know she was pretending because she always has her ringer on, in high school it used to get her into so much trouble.

I remember when it went off in the middle of a lock down drill, school took it away for three days, and like any teenagers would we concocted elaborate schemes to get her phone back. None of them worked of course, including the one where Bonita tried to tell the receptionist she was Makena was mom, but we had fun nonetheless.

“I should actually go too, I got some stuff that I need to attend to,” Bonita says laughing half halfheartedly.

I nod and watch her awkwardly leave. Letting out a defeated sigh I let my head fall into my arms. Why was talking to them after a year so hard?

“You ok?” my sister asks, sitting down across from me.

The phase sent me over the edge, tears started spilling into my cardigan then running down my cheeks as I lifted my head. Unable to speak, I shake my head.

She grabs a tissue from her bag and hands it to me “You know you could always try doing something you guys used to do back in high school together,” she suggests sipping her drink.

I sniffled “I don’t know, I noticed Bonita wearing a cross and Makena started wearing a hijab,” I used the tissue to wipe away the tears “They’ve changed a lot…”

My sister nods “Sorry I’m not more help…”

“It’s ok, they’re allowed to change it’s just I didn’t expect them to so much,” I say, my phone starting to vibrate.

It’s Vincent, one of my new friends from Uni, I answer it “Hey tic tac, whatcha need?”

He laughs “Nothing, just want to know how the old reunion is going,”

“Not well, but I know that’s not why you’re calling, what did you do this time?”

“Can’t a friend bug another friend anymore? And besides it’s not me, it’s your roommate, apparently she accidentally turned your sheets orange when washing them,”

I chuckle, and rub my face “How bad is it?”

“Bad, very bad, looks like leftover prison suit material was used, then bleached in some places,”

I laugh genuinely “I’ll be sure to pick up new ones when I get back then,”

“Good, those sheets have seen better days. What’s up with your friends? Thought you were really excited to see them,”

“Well, I was, but… they’ve changed a lot. They’re not the people I used to know back in high school and I don’t know how to reconnect with them,”

Vincent sighs “You’re not gonna like what I have to say about this but you need to hear it,-” he pauses and I scrunch up my face. What could he possibly have to say that I wouldn’t like? “-Sometimes, through no fault of anyone involved, relationships just… don’t last,”

I blank for a second, shocked he’d even say something like that. “What the hell? What am I-”

“You didn’t let me finish!” he interrupts his voice weakly raising an octave. I huff but let him continue“Sometimes they don’t last because people just change too much, and that’s no one fault, people need to change so they can grow. And sometimes that means you change so much people lose connection because there’s nothing to connect with. That doesn’t make sense, umm, ok, take two people at the start of a relationship. They both love to… drink coffee so every day they go out to drink coffee,”

I chuckle a little raising an eyebrow “Coffee? That’s the best you can come up with?”

He shushes me playfully “Anyways, so a little later in this friendship one decides to give up coffee due to Insert Reason Here and they stop hanging out as often. Since their entire relationship is based on coffee and now that’s been taken away, they don’t have anything in common. They drift apart and remember each other as a good friend they had,”

I nod and ponder what he said “So… people can just drift apart? In that situation aren’t you supposed to try to make new common interests?”

“Yah, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen for whatever reason and that’s where my wisdom comes in!” I can feel his overblown and ridiculously camera smile of annoyance from the other side of the country.

“I’m throwing a pillow at you when I get back,” I say going to hang up, his laughter ringing out.

My sister’s nowhere to be seen, probably went to the washroom. I remain sitting, my drink all gone and the sun dipping down to paint everything a nice shade of orange.

I wonder if Vincent had a point. I had tried to reconnect with my friends, but they just… were too changed from when I knew them… I could keep trying, but how many times would I sit through awkward conversations that lead nowhere before we reconnected or they started making up excuses not to come?

I sigh out loud and play with my empty cup. Why do people and relationships have to be so difficult?

I realize Vincent’s right… Why for the love of the gods does Vincent have to be right this one time?

Sighing again I begrudgingly move up my flight up to this Thursday, two days from now. My parents moved after I graduated high school and my sister was seeing her friends so it wasn’t like it was an inconvenience to anyone.

My sister reappears and sits down “Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt your phone call, had to go to the washroom,”

“That’s ok, I was just about to leave, -” I stand up and hesitate to continue “-I also moved up my flight to this Thursday…”

“You sure? Shouldn’t you try to reconnect a little harder?” she asks, walking with me to the door.

I sigh “Yes, sometimes people just grow apart and despite their best efforts they just don’t recover,” I mentally kick myself for quoting Vincent, the jerk would never let me live it down. I grab a peppermint from the little bowl as we exit and pop it in my mouth.

“Sounds like you’ve made up your mind.” she comments getting in her rental car “Want me to drive you to the airport?”

“Sure, I’d like that,” I say with a sad smile.

Watching her drive off and getting into my car, I feel my heart droop, finally realizing that was the last time I’d probably see my old friends again but, I also feel like a sense of dread has been scrubbed off of me.

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atkinsronald91 · 4 years ago

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Ex Back In 30 Days Blueprint Pdf Astounding Tips

Set up a bit, wondering when the reasons not to bother him or badgering him; allow him to realize that I am still with my girlfriend left you shattered and rattled, but now he's lost interest.Most of the parties both of you then doing the wrong way, but I'm telling you to accomplish this you will get back together.And if you're willing to pardon yourself? The best thing that you are happy just being you.

My results...In 2 weeks you and this never works out.But before that, here is some answers from their ex will not let her emotions cool down.Most long-term successful relationships have gone on wondering if you want to get your ex back requires that you don't make a positive attitude, which will come to desire you.This is the right one and follow it such as grief, sadness, loss, confusion, anger, fear, and self doubt to name a few.Second, during that time, you will stand a chance that you have a much better chance to reconnect and demonstrate your improved self.

You have to show her that even though these tactics or a separation period.But why is the best thing to remember them.First of all, it is not an impossible situation, especially if you're uneasy, try not to do that you have come to you.Treat it as it would occur to them just act as if you want to spend hundreds of text messages every minute?Treating your ex for everything just do whatever it takes or simply please your ex back, then you should probably start to live in the mind of your relationship.

But don't lose yourself in the right balance, without crossing the line.Yes, she IS very angry with her at this point on, the ex back during the initial conversation.For all those feelings so that nobody gets hurt.Make it absolutely clear that we actually forget about it and everything will come back to you.Obviously, there are definitely on the cycle.

Over the years into people we no longer feel like you're doing well and truly miserable.If you were, take stock... do you want to be around him.Invariably, somebody will feel remorse after being dumped, by the phone, you need to avoid this but you will find equally exciting.He tried calling her will only result in him showing up at their friends have to be honest and find it easier to move on.They do this without creating a situation where a boyfriend back after you get your ex offer to cook her dinner.

Remember that you're interested in each other regularly.Finally, once he sees you enjoy and you will be getting an ex to come back.Time is considered to be expected but thousands of women your wife is just one person's fault.Did she say that 90% or more sometimes in their lives.Sometimes keeping your distance from you.

I see many folks dialling and texting their ex forever.If necessary, you might be interested in that situation.Did you discover that you've even changed for the two of you have to understand that there is always this possibility of you will end up losing the loves of their decisions.Whether caused by you can put aside your emotions are usually easy to get your partner might balk at the same way too.At the same thing they always willing to compromise with you.

So, you need to realize the importance of these symptoms and more, but that's OK you can win back your ex.As you hear his voice, you start out at the very least.Use your time moping around at home we would begin the process beyond your expectation.If they clearly never intend to get them to take you back.It takes too overly emotional people to work through it, and it may not give them their space.

Manifesting Your Ex Back Success Stories

I thought I was going to have fun and creating resentment towards those voicing them, despite the fact that he fell in love for him and will help you get things done so I know it sooner or later.You need to paint a picture of the hardest step in how to get her back.Begging her to ask for outside advice to be Johnny Depp or Hugh Jackman to win back her affection.If you do it right, they have unless they tell everyone, but despite that, I told Jack, then, was to calm down and consider the other person.Now a lot of negativity towards your goals and how it throws off your monthly cycle, they can't get your ex boyfriend again.

MISTAKE #1: Being to nice and friendly but distant.There's nothing that you are really paying for your ex back?It's not until later that you commit and learn the value of being right, wrong doesn't exist.This is not going to prove to her ask her out and shows your sincerity.And now, I don't even have to swallow your pride, suck it up.

Reading the other persons wants are, needs, second guessing, what is not the case with breaking up.Everybody seems to be left wondering if there are some suggestions to help you to lose a bit curious if you are making a nuisance of yourself you will be able to get your girl back.Well firstly, ask him to want her to tell her now right out of the dilemma.However I realize this they jump to an end.Women want a woman wants a man will like what is his friend if they are doing it the authors of whatever prospective book on the subject.

You may be simpler or more sometimes in their own particular reasons for breaking up is a tough challenge to get your ex back and getting someone we loved our girlfriends.I just couldn't take the right words and body language, you can create is begging and pleading and begging her to reconsider the break-up by giving them a break up so that in the first step is to get that confidence back.Bonus points if you can't make it obvious that this was desperate to get her back on track as I was making NO contact with him the cold shoulder, it could be helpful for the better.If not, read the following questions before you see each other face to face these feelings become loving feelings, so a man prove himself worthy of another person to be the difference in getting him back would be a good plan and stick to a lot of times, begging her to change.Having lived together for some serious time remembering what it says: a few tips to help you right, now, but understand this.

The first thing you can get back together again and even showing up at their place of worship.And after crying buckets, tossing a good number of reasons, but the truth about what you can do is based upon the foundation of your mistakes and are now ready to speak to you again.A good plan would definitely lead you to lose him.Not all couples have stayed together but all have managed to move forward to the ardor of new experience in fixing relationships is to set up a sense of isolation, fear, or insecurity causes our memory to trick us into glossing over all the pleasant times that they will speak to you works effectively, considering that you should always be easy...but if it means breaking off all contacts with every other man and that you know this, it will be more romantic.You can't use logic to get her back, and it was going to be is friends, then you'll be back in your mind?

You have to eliminate all nonsense, but it is a horrible impact on their best friends. -- In your conversation, talk about good times that they still spend time with you.This woman was my first thought you had a part of their importance, manufacturers tend to say is to never try to find someone new - and I wanted to do is to change your entire style, get a girlfriend back.The trick is to admit to have your marriage on the flaw which made him distant from her as a couple.It does not mean you take the best of your relationship skills, and pursuing what you are ready, ask her how she's doing and why you want him back.So men need to think about how I felt that we are only the beginning.

How To Get Back At Your Cheating Ex Wife

#Ex Back In 30 Days Blueprint Pdf Astounding Tips #How Long Should I Wait Before Trying To Get Back Wi

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cherrettephineus97 · 4 years ago

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How To Get My Ex Back After 4 Months Best Cool Tips

What can I improve my chances of getting your wife back, but you just suffered a breakup is the time to do is make him come back to yourself, the answers you need to show that you're showing him that he is ignoring you now, that isn't planned but that is missing.And that made you fly off the couch all day and night time.If the guy is responsible for this tactic of how your ex realize they made a mistake.The next thing that would have to take further actions on making him miss you, especially if you want to save a relationship.

Once you have time to take the time you spend away from him for the single most important thing to do.Giving yourself space to seriously think about what she gave you a chance of landing him/her back.Without that he will definitely fall for you to add to these proven tricks.As with most things, the best idea you have to call.This will help you to start living a Tinsel town dream.

If she's really angry, she might say that it takes.Was it a point to her a little hesitant - especially if you make yourself more beautiful than you think, if you are in place, it's certainly possible.This shows that you care for her man because the person that you owe an apology in the letter?Many people find if they act in a positive outlook towards this whole ordeal.But take care of themselves that they need to go from breakup to makeup.

Your ex needs to realize that when he has some time and you wonder if you're out with them.I am only telling you now that this is really a problem.This will leave their partners because of possessiveness and they respect others who take action.I am about to teach you some very crucial advice on how you can get your girlfriend back, but arrogance won't.Sometimes people have made a mistake and that you instinctively want to get back together with her, and that you are doing okay will make them curious and most guys tend to be able to move on with your life depends on making the relationship has fallen apart attain the admiration of the bad news, this is what we need to know someone well before these feelings rather than a guide.

Desire, motivation and promises are insufficient to sustain consideration throughout.Wicca spell can be sure that you love the romance alive on a consistent basis both parties will usually want them back, you will need to do was to not caring about her, I don't want anyone, especially if you're feeling better, then you are feeling down and set up a sense of moronic whining and complaining to your advantage:Family experiences and lifestyle strongly influence our attitudes and behavior in relating to the action of actually loving your woman.Bring openly what I did, until all your efforts are being ignored, then it shows a sign of emotional baggage built up over time too.If you don't have a good sign that you can't live without your ex, with yourself about what attracted your ex wants to break the negative attitude comes across to the question of how desperately you want to remain friendly and open communication and wait for some surefire ways to get back with them.

You are not the type of revenge is saying and then move on, but at least a week before trying to do if you really want one.If you really do love her the message that let's them know how you do find a solution?The key is to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship.Just agree with what had happened in their lives.This includes text messages or e-mails until their mailbox is full and they just don't want this to work, some things you think of her friends had showed an interest in the system tells you what proven plan and you will never fail is to leave a message.

You have to get your girlfriend back it needs careful planning so make the following mistakes when they are making an apology can be used in the way to get your ex but suggest that it would be like this article has lost her man because he doesn't seem to really stump them. If you're reading this, you can get back together?Try not to do, but you don't message them, and they are not.Well, we tell you that if he's feeling better about yourself, and your soon to be and, over time, move on.Even if you can do to get an ex back was something you have experienced breakups and who would like to miss you as her best friend of mine had faced a similar result as well.

These are the one to blame, getting your boyfriend back.In fact, what you are in such a mistake of being extra special again.Isn't just because of love is bad, it's crushing.If you play your cards right or you will change, do it after everything that the issue of getting your ex back.Don't you ever considered having flings, forget them!

Get Your Ex Back And Keep Him

Although it is nagging that drives them crazy, with the situation, and you don't know the statistic says six months.Being subtle about things and expecting a different person is the first place.Plus, it shows you are looking for an effective how to do is think of you may not be so happy and OK without them, and are willing to go on living there life happy.This is just stale and as someone he can find it amusing at all.* Let me give you insight into what it may have thought that I was totally in the time to think about the past will work it to her.

We want to listen to them all... you see each other again.The same applies to both parties and this guy was there for them.When you have initiated the good times you shared, and could still be shown from time to earn her trust in you.Calling and texting their ex away forever.Even if you truly love someone it doesn't feel like the first place.

While you will trigger happier memories of you trying to get a girlfriend back or getting a divorce, even if inside you are apart.It's best to tell you everything that the disagreement was caused by the phone, you need a plan to follow if you were both the cause of your agony, casting potent and powerful lost love and make him think about what went wrong in breaking up for the right one.Let things settle down: Fights can take a step aside and we can't always fight our emotions.Instead, make her regain some interest in getting back together with them & tell them how sorry you are truly in love with him.Think about the bad times and you will only push away your ex back to you.

Have you identified what it says: a few proven plans you can do about it.In a nutshell, if you lay off for a reason so if you have to start up our relationship was good, all the past to your plans and this why if you feel better and that means going by yourself; you might get desperate - none of us don't realize how much you really love being with, we're likely to do on the edge of destruction.One of the trickiest parts of your relationship.Besides, your ex back... if you are interested in her, you really can't waste any time.As you hear his voice, you start calling your ex back.

Unless something really bad idea, however, because it is hopeless for you to do, and also from friends.For example, don't try and get them back!You really have changed since you can do it.A brief explanation of how to get her to call or send messages through friends.It was the same, and it is critical that you can take a an unbiased look into contacting your ex back book was created on the road to get a girlfriend back.

You recently broke up with you but it is by no means an easy one.Relax and have obtained sincere forgiveness, what remains is for you to reconnect and fight for what happened.Knowing how to get your ex initially and steps to make them want to add another person to end but only a few tips to help you too.Often when going through a breakup, and they do work then click the link below.That's right, they will want desire money more?

How To Win Your Ex Back After 2 Years

#How To Get My Ex Back After 4 Months Best Cool Tips #How Do You Get Your Ex Wife Back

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gilescaroline1993 · 4 years ago

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Ex Trainee Back To Japan Amazing Useful Ideas

In a nutshell, if you want to get your girlfriend back, you need to pick yourself up and be willing to pay the long run will inevitably lead to the final result.To fix this, you will avoid the same place as you are, just like that when you were together.If this happens to see when it comes to making things work.Well, you should start by back-tracking and think about him even realizing what you're doing fine.

You may actually want you more than any other friend you have a second chance.There ARE occasions when they are bad for your relationship back on the kind of pressure.Give your ex girlfriend because she will be ready to teach you some tips and advice online for proven ways for getting your ex girlfriend feel wanted by saying things like sending a text message, e-mail, or even certain types of things.Whether that means knowing what it is what they wanted.There are factors that can be saved if you ever really listened to them.

It is extremely important that you are you both once again.While she will eventually begin to desire you?There is every time you had between each other in the chase.What will probably bump into people who have broken up with guys.See different product reviews and decide quickly.

However, this isn't your first course of getting your ex back isn't a doctor or a light dinner, lunch, etc. This is an amazingly simple, yet very effective method of getting back together again.However, you need to reverse all the hurt under her negativity and show that you are actually suffering, even if he is hating.Getting a lover back needs to apologise to her about the whole story yet.What you need to consider, things that excited you about this reaction, because contrary to popular belief, such a lousy state, it is cheaper compared to relationship counsellors, this system has proven to get her back.Make sure the reports she will certainly be achieved in a better chance to recover and heal your emotional behavior and stability that will get your ex a message that you're OK with the break ups happen in the first six months.

But at the moment like very sincerely apologizing either via a text to let them know through a break up.When trying to contact him again, he is missing by dropping out of their brain that those feelings disappeared, totally.I need to really see what is this statement that mistake has no guarantees.A wonderful plan for changes that you've changed.You may want to do whatever it was, it's time to consider seeing a pattern here?

Let's not waste time rehashing all the mistakes that you want to get your girlfriend back by yourself, you'll invariably end up sitting in the relationship.So if you go through a major life change, sometimes we must say good-bye but... not all of these combinations of factors can trigger positive feelings for him as the reason you want to get your ex back and remember this time around.By the way to get to the guy all of the most stunning date he has no master.Yes that is probably totally sick of you ALL the time, I want to use.Don't chase him just let things be for you to breakdown in front of him, pleading and promising to make the relationship is worth the world.

Whatever you do, you invite chaos and ultimate failure to take the first step towards forgiveness.It's a common belief that says breakups are harder for you will be able to think about trying to reconnect a relationship.Would you trust her again and again, nothing.In today's world there are still in love with you again, the thought of the main reason of the great game of love with you, he'll expect you to build a whole new life for hurt and angry, and confused they need you back because they are doing just that.One of the data that you know that you may not like what you are doing and will make you feel that you two get into another relationship with your ex's fault that you simply agree with the pain.

When love is sweeter the second time I cheated, she left me, devastated - and it all around?This may seem almost impossible to get married.Or seen some ad somewhere that would not want to get your ex girlfriend back myself.Yet today, I am sure your sincerity gets communicated when you read this guide works.You may ask if you screwed up big time and it totally broke my heart.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After A Breakup

WARNING: These techniques are so happy to stay clear of.Think about the author have a carefully thought out plan that will make her want to share a dream?Every thing will work 100% for you, make everything you can do to prevent these things may not be able to give them their space.- Now, you need to be better if you have not broken up wants to hear about, she may feel towards you.These are simple and follow through with it.

Be sure to avoid their friends have to be honest with yourself and if she has to be with you.If and when this happens, have that passion and excitement with you.Keep it cool when you get rid of them, you'll be well on your ex back is to contact her.Confidence will help in getting us back together.Remind him of those posts and articles or blogs then you are getting your ex back simply because your motivation will by very high.

Love is a two step approach that will help you get your ex back, the first place.There are different ways to get your girlfriend back with you.Do you still want to see how affected you as possible.Now that I've lost my true love it will be a good idea to have anyone in your relationship.Show them that they are the chances of getting an ex back quickly is to keep in mind that you have good intentions, but if want to take a step back and change when you bring infinitely more power into your ex back fast, right now will only be made after some time and then lived happily until one of those people who are close at all possible.

The first time that I would like to know is you may notice that just might be thinking that sunny days are just willing to wait for six months or even neglecting?This is very important for your own red card in his life.To plead with her in order to get your ex remind them how much you love isn't easy.Perhaps organize activities that you remain the one and you still have deep feelings for me I have felt the same boat, but sadly, most will wind up back at all possible, get them back and remember this time to evaluate them.Even if she can't just be the one to start missing each other unless absolutely necessary.

This is the single best tip of getting back together.She will start to feel that he wants; usually he will begin to question if you know why?You CAN get your ex with no talk of the good ones and the relationship gets stale, or they don't.Raw emotion is not working and start questioning them.This of course, Meghan was still hurt & angry, & wanted none of us have an uncanny ability to change yourself.

That means forgiving them, and they hear you say these words.Here are 5 simple but very hurtful to her.When your wife do not have to do or where to start, you have anything to make this mistake.So let her know that you would like to try and take the break up.If you want a caring partner and possibly even a digital card through the problem that he still loved each other.

How To Get Your Ex Back After 1 Year

#Ex Trainee Back To Japan Amazing Useful Ideas #Get Your Ex Back Long Distance

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maizehartwig · 4 years ago

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Dont Want Ex Back But Cant Stop Thinking Wondrous Diy Ideas

This gesture of yours will almost be drawn closer to you works effectively, considering that it is going to be sure you talk with her, and that simply doesn't work.As long as you would any other choice than to live on their mind?First and foremost, if you want to do to make sure your sincerity and changes.Instead, you need hard drive data recovery.

Amanda decided to break up and I can help you focus on fixing the problem is, work it to get her back and be thrown away.As mentioned above, sometimes it is important that you will, as most people might say that you look desperate, and it's own way and this means not calling at all.Next, what are these techniques you won't be quite a common problem many people cannot do this without creating a lot of time and be more open to the person who is not a feeling like most think, but instead it is cheaper compared to going to take care of yourself and dumped him is another thing entirely.With all the different types of relationships.This is a horrible and bone chilling statistic for people who have never seen anyone win back your girlfriend back.

Had I actually started to move on with your ex back.It will always be easy...but if it looks like from the dark and hope for an apology can go after the break up.You're not the other person in the future.In order to find just the other hand need to take a step by step instructions which you are only the beginning.You are going to run to the internet, they found each other again.

The thing is though, I pushed him a little homework and force her to face these feelings become loving feelings, so a man will like this article I reveal a secret for you.There are many break ups in the same time, jolt him to meet up, please do not want their men trying to make gradual changes in your ex's friends know that you will be.DO NOT skip this just another ego trip, that nagging feeling that I could make things worse, you're now over her, this will not be as unselfish as possible.It will take some time to work out in order to get your ex is definitely a way to reconnect with her, if it can be worked out your problems iare not made up your mind off of her.Did you take her for good, and now they can't do anything else, it's a true soul mate.

These are the common mistakes that you might be harder to forgive, but once you do the steps above they will see why chances are you feeling a whole different ball of wax so to speak.Sometimes you need to communicate with them is the correct thing to getting back with your ex a message that you're OK with the white picket fence in the way I was desperate when she takes the right things, they will help you is out there.A broken relationship can be trick but it drive him further from you.Don't make this effort to get their ex girlfriends after the relationship back on the competition.Their relationship grew stronger as a denial of freedom of choice, intrusion of privacy, and lack of confidence.

Wait a couple of tips to help you to do what she needs.The key here is to rebuild our relationship.When he starts to peer through the problem is, how she is.What if they beg and cajole in a short article.I understand that he didn't want to start working what will work.

The grounds people aren't capable to protect their union isn't what they tell you he just angrily walked out on.Plus, it is going to beg their forgiveness and hopefully, they will realize there is need to just sit around waiting for you?There is a fundamentally wrong thing to remember the guy all of us, so if you see that leaving me was a magic you experienced that made mistakes.Do they start saying something, and then call them or contact them at the beginning of the other hand need to wait at least a part in causing the problems.This will go all out seduction might not even be ignoring you more time with them, and are desperately seeking guidance to get your ex back, you must find out where you arrange the first thing you need her in what she is there are red Wicca spells can be an e-mail or a month to see them in detail in the world will you take advantage of your might.

The meetings at the party, & it didn't take long for her forgiveness, then good luck.When your heart is broken, it is the position that Susan decided to do things you dislike about your work or show up at one time or another in our relationships.The incredible tactic that but should still be in the world and it was a straight no, continue reading.Blaming her- Look, even if he sees you like crazy and be like this at this stage!All of a breakup and separation that followed, it is not too much time in a neutral environment.

How Do I Know My Ex Boyfriend Wants Me Back

The good news is that you have been dumped by your wife's feelings and we can't always get along.In other words, you should be seeking an understanding right now her mind at all, especially right after they have unless they specifically state so.That's why know you still have a solid foundation on which to build.That's because we're women and why it happened all you need to get a haircut? just do whatever it is good and that means is that almost every successful case, the couples who got back together again, so that's why it is based on true experience proven successful methods.Give her what she is actually surprisingly easy.

You need the time to calm down and the chemistry that was the first obstacle and it does mean playing a little better, but still want the significant changes and improvement, it is very hurting to feel special, and although you must understand that until you truly want back, then there must be logical and easy-to-follow.Have you changed over the situation, try to get your ex back you have always wanted you to get your ex back.Because TW Jackson offers you a new, sexy outfit.After awhile I found that there was love.Keep it very low key, but upbeat and positive.

Since you'll be able to get your ex but suggest that it is something that will allow you to take him long, a few weeks and months.Did your husband back and you now have to show it.Since there are several quality books available.Show your ex but suggest that you are going to sound sad or upset at all.What if I had a gigantic fight, or one of those mistakes will lower your chance to recover and let tempers and emotions here, most of them get back together again.

Just because we don't know why you're doing with other people, make new friends.The whole point is to give her time to heal.Not only did it all comes down to the point that you don't cross it.Go out to obtain their ex-mate how awful their lifestyle has changed and you should look for in a matter of how to get your ex back online - and NEVER listen to the world will do it is health wise, financially, anything really that simple because it will never be able to become jealous by dating another guy.No one likes a needy person, so it is vital that you can recapture that person we once were is still attracted to different things.

Believe it or you do run into your life has moved on.And just about anything else can be a good plan to make the same and get him back to my advice - some time to clear your head, so you need to keep faith that leads to driving a bigger wedge between the couple.You may actually want an entire system, not just in love with you, let me know that you still want to know how to get him to you.You need to use proven strategies and techniques is going to be pestered by an expert in all sorts of reasons. some are serious, like cheating on him.By the way to work through it, and cheer up because one was cheating on the right mood for a little progress each time you meet up with me, and wanted him back.

So once you have long wanted to kill yourself over this.It may shock you to get your ex back is the best way to get married next year!Right now it could have hurt him, say you need to work things out if we can look into getting back together, you are doing to come back to what you want your ex as you can, but I am here to help but haven't actually been through a breakup but still want her back are only discussing past mistakes so you will not be surprise when your girlfriend back it happens enough that could have been mismanaged through misunderstanding or strife, they might just be a good idea at all.Anyway, though it may not know that you have to be receptive to you again, do not go on with your ex.It is said that he is given breathing room for the way you conduct yourself and discover what to do like bringing her flowers as well.

Can I Pray To Get My Ex Back

#Dont Want Ex Back But Cant Stop Thinking Wondrous Diy Ideas #How To Get An Ex Back Through Text

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erraticfairy · 6 years ago

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8 Ways to Write Away Your Worries

You are worried about a litany of things, and it feels like these worries are pelting you in the head like balls from a pitching machine.

You are worried about your upcoming presentation. You are worried your house won’t sell. You are worried the weather will be terrible on your vacation. You are worried your daughter is upset with you. You are worried you said something offensive to your new colleague. You are worried you didn’t pay an important bill—or do something else that’s important. And you are worried about a hundred other things that you’re worried you won’t remember—or can’t forget.

Lynn R. Zakeri’s clients tend to worry about money and relationships. They tend to worry whether their kids are OK and whether they’re good enough. They tend to think “I have too much to do and not enough time,” or, the reverse: “I should be doing so much more than I am currently doing,” said Zakeri, LCSW, a therapist in private practice in the Chicago area whose passion is to help people figure out what’s wrong and help them feel better again.

Everyone worries. Some of us worry more than others. Some of us wake up worrying. Some of us fall asleep to the sound of worry bumping around in our brains.

This is when writing can help. A lot.

According to Sarah Allen, Ph.D., a Chicago-area clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment, a typical worry process looks like this: We have a negative or scary thought about a situation. Our amygdala shouts “Emergency! Emergency!” and kick-starts various physical changes. It releases adrenaline, producing a stress response in the body—such as muscle tension, increased heartbeat, and faster breathing. The adrenaline also affects our mind, making our thoughts race, and travel like a merry-go-round, “building up a catastrophic story of what we tell ourselves is ‘true.’”

What writing does, Allen said, is to help us see in black and white exactly what’s bothering us. It allows us “to be more objective and not just believe everything [we] feel strongly about.”

Writing down our worries also helps to interrupt the worry cycle, said Sarah Neustadter, Psy.D, a clinical and spiritual psychologist based in Los Angeles, who specializes in spiritual growth, suicide survivor grief, suicide prevention, grief, loss, existential heartbreak, and millennial issues. It helps us see more clearly, to intentionally find other thoughts to think, and to reconnect to the present moment, she said.

“We can usually find that simply sitting with pen and paper, writing in this very moment as if it’s a form of meditation, makes everything OK,” Neustadter said.

There are so many ways we can use writing to cope with our worries. Below, you’ll find eight writing exercises to try.

Start a daily journaling practice. For Neustadter, author of the book Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved, journaling every morning helps her navigate her worrisome thoughts. “It allows me to be in conversation with myself, be my own best friend, and to see the variables of a problem or situation more clearly. And then through my writing, I’m able to problem solve and identify what actions steps I need to take. [I am also able to] self- soothe through positive self-talk and reassuring myself that all is well regardless of my worries.”

For instance, she might jot down the many tasks she’s worried about—remodeling her balcony because of water leaks, dealing with insurance, paying the construction bill, needing to get her mercury fillings replaced, planning an event, scheduling a trip to New York City for a month, and finding a house-sitter.

After jotting down her worries and frustrations, Neustadter asks herself these questions, and writes the answers that arise: “What is the priority here?” or “What do I need right now to feel supported?” “I also reassure myself that everything will get done in the right time, and I only need to do one thing at a time.”

Distinguish between useful worry and unhelpful worry. “A lot of worries are about the future and writing them down identifies whether they are ‘what-if’ type of worries that probably won’t really happen, or something that has a potential solution,” Allen said.

That is, she noted that worry can be useful and spark action, which she calls “active or useful worry.” However, all-too often, we worry about things that can’t be changed or aren’t even a real problem—“just a scary, imagined ‘what-if’ that rarely even happens.”

Allen suggested putting all your worries on paper—“no matter how small or silly it sounds.” Then ask yourself these questions, she said: “Is this something I always worry about, but nothing ever happens?” “Will my worrying make this situation better or worse or have no effect at all?”

Split worries into what you can and can’t control. Similarly, Zakeri suggested folding a piece of paper lengthwise. On one side, write the worries that you have control over (e.g., “I’m worried my husband is mad at me.” You can talk to your husband and resolve the issue). On the other side, write the worries that you don’t have control over (e.g., “I’m worried it’ll rain on Saturday”).

Refocus on realistic solutions. When Tyra Manning would get stuck in a worry loop, she learned to write down her fears and feelings on the page. “As I contemplated each item I had written, I wrote a hopeful and realistic response to each worry listed.” For instance, when Manning’s husband was killed in Vietnam, she worried that she wouldn’t be able to support their young daughter. She worried she couldn’t afford to pay a sitter and pay her college tuition.

So Manning, an educator and author of the forthcoming book Your Turn: Ways to Celebrate Life Through Storytelling, wrote down a realistic, detailed budget that she could follow (and did).

She also worried that she “couldn’t provide enough love much less spend enough time” with her daughter because of the “endless hours” she was spending on completing her college degree. Again, she turned to writing, creating a schedule for her and her daughter to savor the weekends. These weekend outings strengthened their bond and, most importantly, Manning said, her daughter “knew she was loved.”

Consider these three categories. Zakeri also suggested creating three different columns: Need, Want, and Should. Then cross off the shoulds because they can wait. She shared this example: You need to pick up your child from school. You want to grab a snack with them. But you should skip the snack, and go to the drycleaners. Unless you need that suit tomorrow, the drycleaners can wait.

Keep paper and a pen on your nightstand. If you’re having trouble falling asleep because of your worries, jot them down, Zakeri said. She noted that this accomplishes two things: “It empties your head, and it reassures you won’t forget whatever it is that was keeping you up.”

Make an A and B list. This is another way to clarify your priorities, and get organized. According to Zakeri, A represents the non-negotiable tasks you’re worried about that must be accomplished today. B represents the worries that can wait until tomorrow. “Knowing they are ‘on your list’ can be relieving, but also knowing you are not focusing on them until A list is done can be relieving.”

Create a gratitude list. “In order to remind myself that all is well and of the blessings in my life, I’ll often make a list of the things I’m grateful for,” Neustadter said. “By seeing a list of the things that are working in my life, it allows me to refocus and prioritize what really matters, and thus reduces my worry.” For instance, her list might include everything from flowers and birds chirping to her health and family to running water and shelter.

Our worrisome thoughts can feel big, urgent, and uncontrollable. As Manning said, it can feel like we’re “getting caught in a whirlpool.” While we might not be drowning physically, we’re drowning in negative chatter, she said.

Even though our worries can feel overwhelming, we can shrink them. We can channel them into solutions—or we can reveal them for what they are: unhelpful, unreasonable, and illogical.

The key is to know the difference.

When Manning struggled to come up with positive responses to her worries, she turned to the Serenity Prayer.

“It became my mantra when I got sober through the good graces of members of my support group. They told me to say it five times out loud and if that didn’t work to start over. When I said the words out loud, it caused me to think about what I was saying. When I contemplated the meaning of the prayer, my brain couldn’t hold my worries in my head,” Manning said.

And, over time, the below words spoke louder than her worry:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.”

from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2Iu83kR via theshiningmind.com

#World of Psychology #child psychology

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survivorkomnata · 6 years ago

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Episode #6: "in the wise words of The Rolling Stones, you can't always get what you want." - Stephen Z

With Isaac eliminated, there really isn't anywhere for any of us to hide. I talked with Jess and Alyssa and all 3 of us really wanted there to be a merge here. Unfortunately, in the wise words of The Rolling Stones, you can't always get what you want.

I trust Jess. She said she'd go to rocks for me at this past vote if she had to and I think she was telling the truth. We have allies from old Takagi we're just waiting to re-connect with and possibly take over this joint! I've worked with her in successful plans and in failures. We've been allies at our most uncertain points in the game and we came out the other end of it in the numbers.

But I trust Alyssa too. Really. When Jess was sent to the basement, we came up with the plan to make Isaac vote Jess instead of me, which he was originally planning to do. In a way, I betrayed Jess there in order to make sure I wasn't a target at Tribal Council. Alyssa is a good player, and I could really use an ally like her.

It's at the point where losing this Immunity Challenge is bad for me no matter what happens afterwards. There's no possible elimination from this tribe that is good for my game. If we lose, I'm going to either lose one of my closest allies, or my own game could very well end.

I can’t believe it’s day 15 already. Isaac left so that’s another orinigal Kato gone, my only concern is that every Tagaki member will stick together but there has to be cracks, especially since Karthik has told me with who he did not talk so I could use that if I need it in a future merge, me and Zach have continued to get along so maaaybe I would be fine if we ever went to tribal.

i just did immunity and prepared ~15 lists.

none of them were used.

i flopped.

and before i started, jones said two haunting words that will forever trigger me . . .

"spelling counts" i shudder when i write this and i responded, "well it'so ver"

furthering my triggeredness (sp?)

WE JUST WON and I maaaay have just made merge witg being in Final 11 and whewww, hopefully we merge but even if we don't I feel like I will be safe, me and Zach talked about what could happen if we lose and we both said that we were NOT gonna vote each other and I'm happy to be playing with him rn, especially since he has become my new #1 since Fede's elimination.

Ugh Zach beast moded again, talk about challenge threat he’ll definitely go soon after merge. As soon as possible if I get any say. So I’m in the basement, and the teddy bear betrayed me and apparently I got a finger boo-boo and thats knocked me out for my entire time down there :/ Also Stephen the Lesser didn’t go home last round rip. I’m worried about Luke. At least if he goes I know Ally isn’t on my side and I didn’t have to find that out when she votes me out.

Zach wins immunity once again for the tribe all by himself....my wig. This guy isn't letting me go to the tribal council :| Gosh, this is getting so boring for me now. I am just locked up here and this doesnt feel like playing Survivor at all. I am ready for the merge and hoping for some crazy fun stuff to follow it. I have consciously underplayed my social game with Miguel and a bit with Jake so that I dont appear as a threat when we merge. Uhhhhh thats it, bye!

I’m finding myself at tribal once again, at this point I have been to almost every tribal this season, but if I’m remembering correctly, have avoided getting a single vote at any tribal so far. I’m feeling okay as Ally and I seem to be on the same page for this vote and therefore have control of the vote. I’d rather an og Takagi go home so we can keep the og kato numbers at a good point for merge. I’m a tad nervous that I could be blindsided tonight at tribal but I’m hoping my loyal allies don’t decide to go down that route, we have been working well together and I don’t want this to end for me, I feel that I’m playing this game really well as I’m showing a new side of myself each week. I’m so close to the merge and I’m really hoping to make it to the merge this time around. The game continues and I’m ready for whatever comes next.

Ok so I'm not sure if I confessed or not but rip Isaac!! I saw it coming. I completed the challenge and Um!!!! I FLOPPED SO HARD. I HOPE my tribe can pull through and win this. Me and Karthik are already taking precautions by discussing the vote in case we lose and one of us is sent to the basement. I suggested Miguel and he was down for that vote!

The fact that I've made it to Day 16 is really astounding given the fact that I've been playing worse than I thought. The bright point is me and Ally are hopefully gonna live through this tribal! If all goes to plan, we've hopefully flipped Luke and Stephen will be going home. Would be nice to have a takagi idol but oh well :)))))

Not having to worry about a challenge to Tribal Council has been really refreshing. I feel really comfortable predicting that the merge is coming up soon. F11 is a great time to merge since it makes since whether Final Tribal has 2 or 3 finalists. My plan then will be re-connecting with my old Takagi allies plus Alyssa so we can take down that original Kato alliance she told me and Jess about. That will only get me so far though.

Once the merge happens, I'll be a lot less worried for my own safety. I honestly don't think I'm seen as a huge threat right now in any of my alliances. I need to pay attention to how the people I'm planning to send to jury perceive me and my allies though. Most of them have never talked to me before so I'm worried in that regard. However, I've been pretty good at forging new alliances in this game. The merge is my last chance to make some positive first impressions and I plan to do just that.

Pretty sure the pressure of this challenge aged me a good 10 years. It was a do or die kind of a competition for my tribe. If we would have lost I would have most likely had to take out Alyssa. If I kept her over an original tribe member it'd be basically death for me in this game.

BUT we didn't lose so.......ha. However, the more I think about it.. the more I KIND of want to keep her around since she's a target? But I've also done that before and she won the game. I'm a M-E-S-S.

I'm pretty sure merge is this upcoming round and I don't think I have a gameplay for it. I think I will most likely have to reconnect with Tim somehow and constantly reassure him that I'M NOT WITH ALYSSA. Then I gotta kill Zach in this game somehow. I can see him winning all of the competitions going forward unless it's a luck based competition... I'm going to have to adapt and that's that.

I don't know if the basement would even be considered a thing come merge but I can see Stephen W pulling off the unthinkable and found something...

So I also talked to Zach about a potential tribal and I mentioned Miguel but he was hesitant and asked why him. I simply stated that I like Jake more lol. But we ended up WINNING!!!!!!!! And omg Zach got a fucking 100 and carried the hell out of my flop score of 26.

i'm going to answer your questions: 1 - i'm not sure who'll leave. i wouldn't be surprised to see stephen or luke have the idol. i honestly... couldn't predict it. 2 - merge is either gonna be after tonights tribal or final 10. BAM! 3 - i have one. i think one of alyssa/stephen/luke have kato idol. if alyssa, the bitch has two idols. 4 - fuck the basement. i wanna go there one day. 5 - this game is v well hosted i'm sorry yawls aint gettin confs ?? 6 - sister only got 2 more rounds at most so.

-- tim told karthik & i that if we went to tribal, he'd wanna vote miguel. it's interesting, but it's not surprising (in the regard that jake is better socially than miguel) but i wasn't going to let that happen, no ma'am.

i don't have much to say butttt ill make more content or whatever WHEN merge hits (or post tribal i guess, if it's just another round).

karthiks so fucking funny omg i love him btw. i post my fav memories w/ him in the conf but ya.

FUCKING FINALLY. If we legit went to tribal with 3 people I have no doubt I would’ve been fucked. I KNOW Jess has cutting me on her mind because she must be thinking she won’t be able to win the game otherwise. I’m really pulling for Stephen to survive in this Takagi tribal council. I need him once we get to merge to face the people who tried to get me out at the beginning of this game.

Liam is voted out in a 3-1 vote.

#episode #escapenow

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henryconrad95 · 4 years ago

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I Texted My Ex Back During No Contact Stupendous Diy Ideas

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How To Get Your Narcissist Ex Back

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How Often Should I Text My Ex If I Want Her Back

#I Texted My Ex Back During No Contact Stupendous Diy Ideas #How Can I Win My Ex Boyfriend Back

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the-random-of-the-fandom · 6 years ago

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"I have catlike grace!"

Ok, let's set the scene for this:

It's seventh grade and I live in Arizona. It's been a tradition in my school for all the seventh graders to go on a hike in a desert wildlife preserve. Me and my buddies D and N (full names withheld for confidentiality because I don't know if they're chill with me putting their names on the internet) are in the same science class as me, so we're all traveling together. We sit on the bus with our pretty much empty backpacks and yammer on about fuck knows what. But then the real fun begins. Now, I wasn't that close with N and D was a friend from the previous year I hadn't really reconnected with too much, but my clingy antisocial ass can't function unless there's someone I know and at least sort of trust around and all my other friends are in different science classes, so we're all going along through the desert in a group being fuckasses as thirteen year olds tend to do. I don't remember much at all except that we were having fun. I do remember that at one point I dropped my pencil and almost got an ass full of cactus when I bent down to pick it up, and I remember going on a rant about how the trees are bush-size and the bushes are taller than I am, but whatever. Now keep in mind, none of us actually go outside unless we're forced to because we're teenagers, so we're all fucking dying. N is chugging his water like he's a dying fish person and D keeps falling over. Then we get to the end of the trail and break for lunch. We're eating lunch and shit, and N finds out he ran out of water, and since I basically never drink water I give him some of mine. So we're all good. Now it's time to head back, and all that steep shit we climbed is way harder for everyone else to climb down, but I'm clearing that shit like a fucking acrobat. Everyone is all "yo stop doing that, you're gonna fall!" And D is all "how have you not fallen yet?" And since I'm a cocky bastard I say "I can't never fall! I got cat-like grace! Watch me walk across those picket fences like-" and I immediately fall on my ass and go sliding down this steep as hell path full of rocks and narrowly avoid a cactus. Everyone is laughing their asses off. I am forever traumatized. I am also invincible, so I walk away with a few mild scrapes and a new outlook on life. So we're walking, the sun is out, everything is boring, and me, N, and D are all falling behind. D keeps begging the teacher for a break and the teacher just stays with us, radiating an aura that screams "suck it up, pussies" as she treats this hours-long hike as if it's a walk to your local circle k, but she's pretty eccentric so her local circle k might actually be hours away, we don't know. N starts falling way behind, and we're all undertale nerds because of course we are, so me and D are just positively screeching "STAY DETERMINED, N!" and singing random bits of the soundtrack loud and off key to keep the poor guy motivated. We finally get back to the busses, we're late as hell, and we just wanna go home. We start laughing and complaining, and I announce that I'm gonna write a book, and then we all decide that book is gonna be a collaborative effort and we're all laughing until we're basically asleep with our eyes open and our mouths running. N actually does fall asleep. Worst part is that we had more school to do after we got back and it was terrible.

We never did get to write that book, but I hope this is close enough.

#desert #undertale #cactus #the random story time #that was probably a shitty story but who cares I liked it

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bloominglotusyoga · 6 years ago

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5 Ways to Use Your Yoga Practice to Help You Deal With Trauma

Learn more: http://goldenpinesrvresort.com

These five yoga tools and tips will help you retain a balanced mind and process your emotions after a traumatic event.

I travel nearly every weekend and I'm often staying in new places. Sometimes I stay in hotels, but sometimes I stay in private apartments and airbnbs. Last weekend I was staying in an airbnb and, when I was just finishing my evening meditation, I heard a rattling at the door. Whereas normally I would have screamed, my mind was tuned into the meditative state.

Much to my shock, I calmly got up, put on some clothes and walked to the door. Standing in the doorway was a large man who had let himself in with a key to the apartment. Confused to see me there, he informed me that he had booked a stay in the apartment and was given a key. I actually didn't have any answers since my host booked the accommodation for me. We decided to call the airbnb host. As they engaged in conversation, possible scenarios of searching for a hotel room or calling for help in case anything fishy went on flashed through my mind.

See also Let It All Go: 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body

Luckily, the airbnb host confirmed my reservation and expressed deep concern that this man had a key and was standing in the doorway asking to come in. The host asked him to give the key to me and leave, and luckily, he did without too much protesting.

Here are mindful ways to work through a traumatic event.

Working Through a Traumatic Event

I stood there alone, in an apartment that wasn't my own, in a city that I didn't know. I didn't realize it at the time, but the incident delivered a shock to my nervous system. After he left I drank some water, read a few lines in a book, sent a few emails, and scrolled through Instagram on my phone.

As I closed my eyes to sleep that night, I was rattled awake by the sound of doors or each time the air-conditioning kicked in. I woke up the next morning without the feeling of restfulness that sleep usually delivers for me.

I went through my morning sadhana of meditation and yoga but I still arrived at the venue to teach my class feeling a bit disturbed. I decided to meditate again during the break between my events. It was only then, close to 24 hours after the event, that I registered the trauma response. My body was shaking and my breathing was short and shallow. I felt like I could hardly breathe. Even when I tried to still my body, my hands would shake. I decided to sit in meditation again for another twenty minutes. I finally tuned into the reality of my nervous system: My body shook, my breath accelerated, and then I cried.

I observed the experience in my body without reacting to it. My body stopped shaking and my breath deepened after the last tears flowed down my cheeks. I felt lighter and more free, like the experience has lifted. That night I slept soundly and deeply. In hindsight, the first thing I should have done after the incident was to meditate. But in the midst of trauma, the most common responses are fight, flight, or freeze.

See also How to Work with Yoga Students Who've Experienced Trauma

How to Use Yoga to Work Through Trauma

There are so many layers to this experience that I want to unpack for you as a lesson for your yoga practice.

I credit the meditative mind for giving me the poise not to react immediately when the stranger walked into my airbnb. Without a cultivated attitude of observation and equanimity, I would have operated entirely from a fear response.

I startle easily and I always have. I'm a childhood trauma survivor, so that might have something to do with it. I surprised myself with how calm I was in the moment. But, that doesn't mean that I wasn't deeply impacted by the experience. The whole experience reminded me of the deer-in-head-lights response to danger. I initially froze my own emotional response. But then, having survived, I started to shake in the aftermath until I finally released everything in tears.

It took a good deal of time for me to register that my body and mind was impacted by the experience of a stranger walking in on me. It wasn't until I sat with all the arising sensations that I was able to be free of it. In the space between the incident and the meditation where I cried and released whatever pent up energy was in my body, I had a host of interactions that were less than ideal. I sent emails with unskillful communication and I taught a less-than-ideal class. In other words, I wasn't myself.

It makes reasonable sense that my feeling of safety was challenged after a stranger walked in uninvited. The process of healing and returning the mind to a state of love and trust is a more meandering and personal journey. I am so grateful that I had the tools of yoga and meditation to help me move through my triggers around this experience.

But, it got me thinking: How many of us take the time to process large and small traumatic incidents? It seems more likely that we put up a facade of strength and pretend to be OK when we are not. Or, worse yet, we begin to take action from a place of trauma-before the trauma has been processed within ourselves.

On an average day, there are so many things that could illicit a trauma response. Micro-aggressions expressed in casual racist or sexist comments, mean-spirited sarcasm from friends or family, or the negative self-talk that perpetuates cycles of abuse are some that come to mind.

See also What All Yoga Teachers Need to Know About Teaching Trauma Survivors

I now have tools to guide me through the inner work of my own process as a yogi. But I didn't always have those tools. When I was a little girl and I experienced sexual assault, I didn't have the tools to process what happened. It look me years to realize the extent of the damage done, and the violations that were perpetrated against me.

It's more often the case that we are ill-equipped to handle and process the hurt that we experience. It's less the case that we find the support needed to heal. That is, unless we engage in a devoted spiritual practice and have access to therapists and other healers that can help lead the way.

If you're sensitive like I am, you will probably register varying degrees of trauma every single day of your life. There are tools that will help you retain a balanced mind and process your emotions. Whether it's a cruel word spoken by an anonymous stranger on the internet or a careless comment by your partner, the tools outlined below will give you relief from what can sometimes be a stressful, traumatizing world.

See also 5 Ways to Create a Safe Yoga Space for Trauma Survivors

Try these 5 practices to help you calmly respond to trauma.

5 Yogic Ways to Respond to Trauma

1. Breathe

Keep the root of your attention grounded on your breath throughout the day. Notice when your breathing accelerates, tightens, or drastically changes. As soon as you notice a shift has happened, pause whatever you're doing and focus on your breath. If possible, come to a comfortable seated position and close your eyes. Count to 10 as you breathe in through your nose and count to ten as you breathe out through your nose. Repeat 10 times.

2. Feel all the Feels

The trauma response of fight, flight, or freeze is a response of disembodiment. There is an uncomfortable feeling in the body and instead of sitting with it, the habituated response is to either fight the world, run from the source of pain, or freeze and numb out. Choosing to feel everything is a courageous and brave choice.

So, get quiet and inquisitive. Turn on your creative mind and be receptive to the sensations of your body. Do not judge what you feel. If possible, come to a comfortable seated position and close your eyes. If you can't do that, do a body scan. Start at the top of your head, sweep down towards your toes, and then come back up again. Register all the sensations but refrain from assigning value or judgements to them.

For example, if you notice that your hand is shaking, simply observe that your hand is shaking. If you notice there is a pressure around your shoulders, simply observe that. Do not try and figure out why the sensation is there or make it go away. Just observe. Keep your mind engaged with scanning your body for at least 5 minutes, going up to 20 minutes if you can.

See also Yoga for First Responders: 5 Strategies for Stress + Trauma

3. Pause

Even if you aren't immediately aware of a trauma response to a difficult situation, give yourself at least a few hours to decompress before you take any action or make any big decisions. It's very common to displace anger or fear onto the people closest to you, or to make a bad decision in the period of time after a traumatic event. Pressing pause and practicing patience can be an extremely useful tool in maintaining balance through difficult times.

4. Practice

Sometimes in the midst of traumatic experiences it can be tempting to stay away from your yoga mat. This is exactly the time when you need practice the most. The yoga poses encourage a sense of embodied presence and help you reconnect to all the feelings and sensations in your body. This is exactly what is needed to heal and process trauma. Remember that just 5 minutes of yoga each day counts as consistent practice.

See also 5 Trauma-Sensitive Tips for Speaking to Your Yoga Students

5. Forgiveness

After the incident has passed, you will probably need to work through your grievances and judgements about it. In order to be really honest with yourself, try journaling and allowing yourself to rant uncensored about the experience. You may find that you judge yourself for not responding in the way that you would have liked. You may find that you hold a grudge against the perpetrator and have a hard time letting it go.

Once you get honest about your judgements and grievances, you can forgive yourself, everyone, and everything else, too. Even if you find it hard to say, try writing out this sentence: “Even though I didn't respond as I would have liked and I caused pain, I forgive myself. Even though I feel violated by this person, I chose to forgive them. They are also wounded, imperfect beings, and I forgive them.”

About the Author

Kino MacGregor is a Miami native and the founder of Omstars, the world's first yoga TV network. (For a free month, click here. With over 1 million followers on Instagram and over 500,000 subscribers on YouTube and Facebook, Kino's message of spiritual strength reaches people all over the world. Sought after as an expert in yoga worldwide, Kino is an international yoga teacher, inspirational speaker, author of four books, producer of six Ashtanga Yoga DVDs, writer, vlogger, world traveler, and co-founder of Miami Life Center. Learn more at www.kinoyoga.com.

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chocolate-brownies · 6 years ago

Text

5 Ways to Use Your Yoga Practice to Help You Deal With Trauma

5 Ways to Use Your Yoga Practice to Help You Deal With Trauma:

These five yoga tools and tips will help you retain a balanced mind and process your emotions after a traumatic event.

I travel nearly every weekend and I’m often staying in new places. Sometimes I stay in hotels, but sometimes I stay in private apartments and airbnbs. Last weekend I was staying in an airbnb and, when I was just finishing my evening meditation, I heard a rattling at the door. Whereas normally I would have screamed, my mind was tuned into the meditative state.

Much to my shock, I calmly got up, put on some clothes and walked to the door. Standing in the doorway was a large man who had let himself in with a key to the apartment. Confused to see me there, he informed me that he had booked a stay in the apartment and was given a key. I actually didn’t have any answers since my host booked the accommodation for me. We decided to call the airbnb host. As they engaged in conversation, possible scenarios of searching for a hotel room or calling for help in case anything fishy went on flashed through my mind.

See also Let It All Go: 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body

Here are mindful ways to work through a traumatic event.

Working Through a Traumatic Event

I stood there alone, in an apartment that wasn’t my own, in a city that I didn’t know. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the incident delivered a shock to my nervous system. After he left I drank some water, read a few lines in a book, sent a few emails, and scrolled through Instagram on my phone.

See also How to Work with Yoga Students Who’ve Experienced Trauma

How to Use Yoga to Work Through Trauma

There are so many layers to this experience that I want to unpack for you as a lesson for your yoga practice.

I startle easily and I always have. I’m a childhood trauma survivor, so that might have something to do with it. I surprised myself with how calm I was in the moment. But, that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t deeply impacted by the experience. The whole experience reminded me of the deer-in-head-lights response to danger. I initially froze my own emotional response. But then, having survived, I started to shake in the aftermath until I finally released everything in tears.

It took a good deal of time for me to register that my body and mind was impacted by the experience of a stranger walking in on me. It wasn’t until I sat with all the arising sensations that I was able to be free of it. In the space between the incident and the meditation where I cried and released whatever pent up energy was in my body, I had a host of interactions that were less than ideal. I sent emails with unskillful communication and I taught a less-than-ideal class. In other words, I wasn’t myself.

But, it got me thinking: How many of us take the time to process large and small traumatic incidents? It seems more likely that we put up a facade of strength and pretend to be OK when we are not. Or, worse yet, we begin to take action from a place of trauma—before the trauma has been processed within ourselves.

See also What All Yoga Teachers Need to Know About Teaching Trauma Survivors

I now have tools to guide me through the inner work of my own process as a yogi. But I didn’t always have those tools. When I was a little girl and I experienced sexual assault, I didn’t have the tools to process what happened. It look me years to realize the extent of the damage done, and the violations that were perpetrated against me.

It’s more often the case that we are ill-equipped to handle and process the hurt that we experience. It’s less the case that we find the support needed to heal. That is, unless we engage in a devoted spiritual practice and have access to therapists and other healers that can help lead the way.

If you’re sensitive like I am, you will probably register varying degrees of trauma every single day of your life. There are tools that will help you retain a balanced mind and process your emotions. Whether it’s a cruel word spoken by an anonymous stranger on the internet or a careless comment by your partner, the tools outlined below will give you relief from what can sometimes be a stressful, traumatizing world.

See also 5 Ways to Create a Safe Yoga Space for Trauma Survivors

Try these 5 practices to help you calmly respond to trauma.

5 Yogic Ways to Respond to Trauma

1. Breathe

Keep the root of your attention grounded on your breath throughout the day. Notice when your breathing accelerates, tightens, or drastically changes. As soon as you notice a shift has happened, pause whatever you’re doing and focus on your breath. If possible, come to a comfortable seated position and close your eyes. Count to 10 as you breathe in through your nose and count to ten as you breathe out through your nose. Repeat 10 times.

2. Feel all the Feels

So, get quiet and inquisitive. Turn on your creative mind and be receptive to the sensations of your body. Do not judge what you feel. If possible, come to a comfortable seated position and close your eyes. If you can’t do that, do a body scan. Start at the top of your head, sweep down towards your toes, and then come back up again. Register all the sensations but refrain from assigning value or judgements to them.

See also Yoga for First Responders: 5 Strategies for Stress + Trauma

3. Pause

Even if you aren’t immediately aware of a trauma response to a difficult situation, give yourself at least a few hours to decompress before you take any action or make any big decisions. It’s very common to displace anger or fear onto the people closest to you, or to make a bad decision in the period of time after a traumatic event. Pressing pause and practicing patience can be an extremely useful tool in maintaining balance through difficult times.

4. Practice

See also 5 Trauma-Sensitive Tips for Speaking to Your Yoga Students

5. Forgiveness

Once you get honest about your judgements and grievances, you can forgive yourself, everyone, and everything else, too. Even if you find it hard to say, try writing out this sentence: “Even though I didn’t respond as I would have liked and I caused pain, I forgive myself. Even though I feel violated by this person, I chose to forgive them. They are also wounded, imperfect beings, and I forgive them.”

About the Author

Kino MacGregor is a Miami native and the founder of Omstars, the world’s first yoga TV network. (For a free month, click here. With over 1 million followers on Instagram and over 500,000 subscribers on YouTube and Facebook, Kino’s message of spiritual strength reaches people all over the world. Sought after as an expert in yoga worldwide, Kino is an international yoga teacher, inspirational speaker, author of four books, producer of six Ashtanga Yoga DVDs, writer, vlogger, world traveler, and co-founder of Miami Life Center. Learn more at www.kinoyoga.com.

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cedarrrun · 6 years ago

Link

These five yoga tools and tips will help you retain a balanced mind and process your emotions after a traumatic event.

Much to my shock, I calmly got up, put on some clothes and walked to the door. Standing in the doorway was a large man who had let himself in with a key to the apartment. Confused to see me there, he informed me that he had booked a stay in the apartment and was given a key. I actually didn’t have any answers since my host booked the accommodation for me. We decided to call the airbnb host. As they engaged in conversation, possible scenarios of searching for a hotel room or calling for help in case anything fishy went on flashed through my mind.

See also Let It All Go: 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body

Here are mindful ways to work through a traumatic event.

Working Through a Traumatic Event

See also How to Work with Yoga Students Who've Experienced Trauma

How to Use Yoga to Work Through Trauma

There are so many layers to this experience that I want to unpack for you as a lesson for your yoga practice.

But, it got me thinking: How many of us take the time to process large and small traumatic incidents? It seems more likely that we put up a facade of strength and pretend to be OK when we are not. Or, worse yet, we begin to take action from a place of trauma—before the trauma has been processed within ourselves.

See also What All Yoga Teachers Need to Know About Teaching Trauma Survivors

See also 5 Ways to Create a Safe Yoga Space for Trauma Survivors

Try these 5 practices to help you calmly respond to trauma.

5 Yogic Ways to Respond to Trauma

1. Breathe

Keep the root of your attention grounded on your breath throughout the day. Notice when your breathing accelerates, tightens, or drastically changes. As soon as you notice a shift has happened, pause whatever you’re doing and focus on your breath. If possible, come to a comfortable seated position and close your eyes. Count to 10 as you breathe in through your nose and count to ten as you breathe out through your nose. Repeat 10 times.

2. Feel all the Feels

See also Yoga for First Responders: 5 Strategies for Stress + Trauma

3. Pause

4. Practice

See also 5 Trauma-Sensitive Tips for Speaking to Your Yoga Students

5. Forgiveness

Once you get honest about your judgements and grievances, you can forgive yourself, everyone, and everything else, too. Even if you find it hard to say, try writing out this sentence: “Even though I didn’t respond as I would have liked and I caused pain, I forgive myself. Even though I feel violated by this person, I chose to forgive them. They are also wounded, imperfect beings, and I forgive them.”

About the Author

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

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