#but now i seem to gravitate towards characters who are more openly affectionate

[morverenmaybewrites]

aaa hello!! same anon that sent the lads mc/your reader characters ask 🩵🩵 I’m not too sure how far you’ve gotten into the story so I don’t want to spoil anything but I can tell you I wasn’t talking abt PG (even tho she would crush it as a hunter I love her sm)

good luck on clearing the rest!! sylus is a close 2nd for me but caleb is Such a compelling character he makes my brain ill (affectionate)

I’m going to be honest, anon, I sort of…hopped around the story so I can get all the LIs. Chronologically, I think I’m just in chapter 3? Honestly, I love them both but Caleb is my main. He’s so unhinged and obsessive, I—

[catboy-jaebeom]

week one of #got7revival: bias & wrecker

bias: Jaebeom & Youngjae

jaebeom was the first member of GOT7 I found while looking for faceclaims for my fantasy novel about one and a half years ago ( march 2021 ) ; he got me and a friend into kpop and the rest is history. I love this weird cat guy ( affectionate ) with his twin moles and the utter passion and leadership he always brings to the table. I also adore that he talks about his depression and anxiety so relatively openly. he wouldn't need to, and yet he does, and I respect that a lot. it makes even me feel better about myself, and I thought I had a really good grip on mine.

once I knew the members and had gotten familiar with their character and all, I started gravitating towards youngjae as well. I sometimes wonder whether he wouldn't have been my ( actual / only ) bias in GOT7 if a) jaebeom wasn't so very special to me that it feels wrong to switch biases, and b) I had already known the members when I had gotten into GOT7, or if GOT7 hadn't been my very first group and I had already been much more familiar with how groups worked and all that. he's 97 percent shy, innocent maknae, and 3 percent a wicked minx who nobody can be mad at and I love that for him.

the bottom line is that I bias them both and they seem to be okay with having shared custody, if you wanna call it that. I'm calling it that now.

btw, I always consider those people the bias that I have a soft spot for, who I relate to on a personality level, who make me feel all warm and cozy when I watch them do their thing — and the wrecker is the one that just wrecks me with their visuals or voice or whatever it is. I can't look at them for long because that's overwhelming because they're so v attractive ( not saying my biases aren't, but the wreckers just take a bat and swing it at me, while the biases just don't cause that reaction in my brain ) idk, I hope this makes sense, but I've heard people describe biases as the ones that are in "first place" and the wreckers are trying to dethrone them and that's just not my definition of it. kakdif no hate tho! just wanted to explain that.

wrecker: Mark & Yugyeom

mark, oh mark. I couldn't tell you what exactly it was that reeled me in, but it might have been his stupidly attractive smirks and his cute little fangs and his deeper voice — there is just something about mark that wrecks me so bad. his iconic lines in Turn Up or The New Era take me out every time, my gods. I'm also so happy he actually released this solo album despite nearly all of the songs being some flavour of sad. I feel honoured to be part of this journey of his, and I'm personally a really big fan of more darker songs so this is perfect. what would I give to see him live wow.

yugyeom. aodofoaldlf. he was one of my initial biases and then faded from my bias list very naturally when he wasn't the only other guy anymore that I recognized. I always admired his dance skills and courage, and I vibe with how he keeps everyone going when it's 3 am and they've been filming for 14 hours already. but he wasn't a bias anymore. and then I saw him live this may ( 2022 ) and he has been haunting and wrecking me ever since. how can one man be so cute and so passionate at the same time I do not understand.

[saphirered]

Lovely Caleb fic! Could I get a confession of love fix that involved Caleb kissing the hands of a bewildered reader?

Thank you for the request! I hope this is to your liking!

It’s rather late. Well, you think it is. It’s kind of difficult to tell in Rosohna’s eternal darkness. At least you were sure it’s been a long day. You find yourself wandering the halls of the Xhorhaus. The last few months have been crazy, hectic and you’d have to admit your life has been turned upside down but you wouldn’t change if for the world. You found friends, family even. Reminiscing you find your mind gravitate towards fond memories of your favourite wizard. Dragging him along on a little shopping spree for spell components, the excited rants he goes on when you ask for his advise on this new spell you found, the talks about nothing when you shared a watch, holding his hand while Yasha shaved his beard with her sword, giggling about a little prank you played on a very grumpy looking halfling shopkeeper in Zadash, drunken nights sharing a bottle after a successful job completed, him falling asleep with his head on your shoulder, caring for each other’s injuries, the rare dance in the tavern…

Not as insightful as Caduceus may be but you weren’t blind either. It’s clear Caleb seems more comfortable around you than anyone save for Nott maybe, a different kind of comfort still. You’ve been consciously picking up on a shift in his behaviour for a while now. Your favorite wizard has been getting closer and more affectionate towards you but you’ve known him for a while now and you can’t help but pick up on this. His recent shift in behavior gave you butterflies in your stomach, something more than friendship but you didn’t feel it was the right time to tell him how you feel. Besides, what his feelings don’t extend beyond care right? This is no different than his relationship with Beau or Nott. Love is a strong term and one you may not hand out so freely but you know yourself well enough these feelings you’re experiencing are love. You just don’t want to ruin your friendship because he’s not ready, not comfortable or doesn’t reciprocate your feelings in the same way after all. Caleb has come out of his shell and made so much progress, growing more comfortable and open around you and that’s extending to those around him too. You don’t want him to crawl back into that shell again. You value him more than that.

Quietly you get some dried herbs from a sleeping Caduceus’ stash and wander into the kitchen to make some tea. You’re pretty sure you’re the only one still awake as everyone was quite exhausted after your return. Trying to start a flame to boil the water proved more difficult than you had hoped. Growing frustrated with the flint and steel you slam them on the counter a little too hard. You cringe squeezing your eyes tight shut and listen. Okay… seems like no one woke up from that. You glare at the kettle half the mind to toss it out of the window. Stupid tea. Stupid fire. You take a breather leaning your head against one of the shelves above the counter.

“It looks like we had the same idea.” You almost jump out of your skin quickly covering your mouth to prevent a scream to escape from your lips. You see a bleary eyed Caleb looking about as disheveled as expected standing in the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Don’t scare me like that you idiot!” You toss a towel at him. It hits, draping over one shoulder and he just gives you a ‘really?’ expression as you feel the blood rush from the scare fade. 

“You’re having trouble, ja?” He says more than asks referring to the still cold kettle. 

“You have to make me feel worse about not being able to get a flame going to brew some tea?” You say in jest as you grab another cup for him. Caleb walks over taking your spot and with a snap of the fingers the flame is lit. 

“It is not that difficult.” He jokes back fully aware that your expertise lays not with fire magic. You have many other talents, he’s told you so himself many times praising you for them. You grab the towel draped over his shoulder, fold it neatly and put it back on the counter. 

“Your help is appreciated oh grand master magician.” You give him a side hug which he returns wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you wait for the water to boil. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” You ask watching drops of condensation build up on the outside of the kettle. 

“Ah, no. Uh, wandering thoughts.” Caleb sounds like he’s only half paying attention. Wandering thoughts indeed. 

“Wanna talk about it?” You offer as the kettle starts whistling and you remove it from the heat before it gets too loud and begin preparing the teapot. You take a step closer to the counter, Caleb’s hand falling from your shoulder to your lower back. 

“I… uh-“ He hesitates and you swear when you look over your shoulder for just a second you can see a slight blush creep up his cheeks. 

“Caleb, you know you can tell me anything, right?” He manages to get out a ‘yes’ under his breath so you grab a tray, put the teacups and saucers, the teapot and grab some biscuits from a jar hidden behind the vast array of herbs and spices to avoid a certain Tiefling from claiming them all. Balancing the tray on one hand you turn around and grab his hand, guiding him along into the living room. You put the tray on the table and make Caleb sit down on the couch as you sit down next to him. You can see him take a deep breath and he refuses to meet your eye. Though, that’s not entirely out of character for the wizard so you give him time and space as you pour the tea in each of your cups. With a wave of your hand you cool the hot water to a less scalding but still warm level. 

“I know. But in this case I don’t know if that makes this any easier.” You frown and grab his hands in yours. Almost absentmindedly he begins drawing circles on the back of your palms with this thumbs. While he won’t look at you you can see he’s trying to find the words.

“Should I be worried?” Many questions rush through your head. Was everything alright? Did something happen? 

“No. No. No need to worry.” He musters a quick half smile before it disappears. You hated seeing him like this. So much conflict and inner turmoil. You give his hands a soft squeeze. Whatever this is it must bother him a lot if he’s so affected by it!

“It’s alright. Take however long you need. I’m here for you no matter what.” He takes a deep breath as you finish your sentence. 

“I’ve had some revelations lately and I’ve tried so hard to push them away, deny them or hoping that maybe I was interpreting them wrong but I can no longer just brush them aside. I don’t think it’s fair…” Another deep breath.

“What’s not fair to who?” 

“This. All of it. What I’m doing. It’s not fair to you.” He has trouble forming a sentence. 

“Slowly. Just keep breathing.” You try to calm him down.

“It’s not fair that I freely take your comfort, affection, kindness and even companionship. I’m afraid my actions in return, they do not come from friendship but selfish motives instead. I don’t want this to end but I cannot treat my own actions as rooted from friendship when they are not.” He scrambles on stumbling every few words and you try to make sense of his words but you’ve known him longer than today so you get where he’s going. 

“Caleb…” You begin but he cuts you off.

“No, no I need you to hear this before I cower back and lose the courage to do this. You are heaven sent. You are patient and kind and every time you smile at me I feel my heart skip a beat. Every hug, touch or kiss feels like the warmth of the sun after endless winter. I thought perhaps I felt this way because this is who you are and what you do; making the lives of those you care about brighter where you can. I know you care about me as you’ve reminded me many a time, and I care about you a lot, but I do not think it ends with just care. My realisation showed me that you’ve brought about a feeling I thought myself no longer capable off; love.” He pulls your hands close to his chest. You’re bewilder, confused at this open confession but above all surprised he so openly confides in you. You think hard taking in every word.

“So I think it’s unfair to you when for me this kindness and affection from my side will always be out of love and I cannot in good conscious give you my love when you do not want it. I cannot ask you to feel the same but I also don’t think me returning your kindness and affection can ever be anything other than love. So please, I don’t want what we have, our friendship to end but I don’t want to take what you don’t have to give me…” 

“Caleb, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” You watch as his shoulders slump. So insecure when it comes to other’s feelings and opinions of him it hurts you every time he sells himself short. You look for the right words yourself. If he can muster up the courage then so can you!

“You can be so blinded by your own thoughts and insecurities you don’t even consider the fact that I feel the same.” He finally looks at you wide eyed freezing in place for a second.

“You underestimate your ability to be loved and if I can prove you different, if you will let me prove you different I will.” Caleb scans your face for any sense of insincerity, deceit or even jest but he finds none. He takes a minute but eventually pulls your hands to his lips pressing a long soft kiss to the backs. 

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this but you truly are a light in the darkness.” He kisses the backs of your hands again. 

“You were you; all you ever need to be.” You shift leaning into his side, head against his shoulder and his arm wrapping around you. Intertwining your fingers with his at your waist you grasp his other hand and bring it to your lips. That small kiss right where his wrist meets his palm makes him melt. He leans back on the couch pulling you with in a slouched relaxed position. If only the rest of the Nein could see you now. They’d go crazy… 

[nightswithkookmin]

With the grammy bomb im more than certain that there is a strain between jikook. They do interact but in a way that is so aloof. Their habitual gravitating towards one another doesnt happen anymore. And im talking about all the recent stuff from october onwards. Jk purposefully rear towards other members and i find jimin to be only open towards namjoon. All of his other interactions on cam are to make sure that everything is fine between him and others. And jk purposefully ignores or avoids jimin and doesnt have that unrestrainable affection towards him anymore. I say all this as a longtime jikook supporter. Honestly even if they had their 'fighting' periods i have never seen jk this dismissive. At least jimin isnt as affected as before. I dont understand how no supporter is admitting the obvious distance of jk.

Why are you being mean to me though😭

Please read my blogs. I think I have talked about this topic several times now.

May be I spoke 'too soon' before the loud moments that make these things obvious to most but still, I've addressed it nonetheless.

I feel if I respond to this, I'd just be repeating myself over and over at this point and frankly it gets boring for the people that read me- I think. Lol. I mean, once I start I never shut up. Lmho. So sorry in advance.

I agree with everything you've said, as well as all the observations you've made. I'm with you on it. Except, you made no definitive conclusions I could agree on, rebut, or share an opinion on. There is a strain on their relationship..... therefore? Lol.

I don't mean this in a rude way. I just don't think it's enough to point that out without drawing conclusions- unless you are simply taking notes of those moments? Or are you concluding that the strain is a sign Jikook are fighting, having problems or that they have broken up?

Not every tension between Jikook is a bad thing if you ask me or even as a result of them having issues in their relationship. This is something I keep regurgitating in my blogs. Not to say they don't have issues, they do. Hell, I get dragged by my roots on these streets for saying they fight, or even break up sometimes like any real couple would. They are real and they have real couple's problems sometimes too like any regular joe.

I'm glad you pointed out though, that Jimin doesn't seem as affected by JK's 'dismissive' attitude as before. Shouldn't that tell you that is a sign there is nothing wrong with their relationship this time around? Jikook is not one sided. JK isn't the only party to their relationship, neither is Jimin. They have an equal and sometimes opposite reaction to each other. One person's attitude or change in attitude tends to produce a ripple effect on the other. In my opinion.

If JK were to be 'dismissive' at all, it would emotionally and physically impact Jimin and he would have a reaction to it like he did in run 106. Compared to this, he didn't seem at all affected by JK's 'attitude' just as you've pointed out.

As I said a while ago, I honestly don't think or believe they are fighting or that they are broken up either- not to me anyway. Lol. I mean you could still pretty much see the intimacy between them in that footage. Jikook don't need to engage in skinship or overt and loud interactions to show they are intimate. And most times their overt and loud skinship and interactions are devoid of intimacy. That's the thing about intimacy, you can't fake it or hide it.

Jimin turning towards JK in his fit of excitement is a sign of intimacy between them regardless of whether he actually hugged JK or not. Then later on the couch, you could see him yearning for JK.

There were three people in that room- may be more if you count staff and yet JK was the only one Jimin seemed to want an answer from.

He was the one Jimin was emotionally inclined towards. The one who's comfort and affection he sought after- bless his heart, he hit his head on some solid rock knees and everything trying to pursue his need for physical closeness and affection from JK. If they were broken up or fighting, he wouldn't go to JK for his emotional needs.

He could try and 'interact' with JK, do the fanservice bit with him but he wouldn't go to him with his emotional needs- that would be inappropriate and unfair to JK. Jimin is an emotionally intelligent guy and he has a lot of thoughts and consideration for people's feelings and he is well aware of his limits and just how much he can push or get away with.

And I cite his Log with JK, where he announced he had started developing feelings for JK and then turned to JK to ask if he was ok with him saying that much on camera.

Thus, if he is emotionally 'gravitating' towards JK then it's indication there is a level of intimacy and a mutual understanding between them that JK fulfills an emotional need and ought to fulfill that emotional need for him.

And yes, I agree. Him hesitating when he wanted to hug JK is a sign there is something stressing their dynamics which is something I pointed out when that Grammy reaction video first came out. I knew something was stressing their dynamic but I couldn't figure out what because it was a very short video with not much going on in there.

The behind the scenes however, chilee. Lol.

I mean if you consider the fact JK went from moving a distance to console Jimin when he was crying on stage during the October ON:E concert, and you look at all the moments we've had from their overt flirting in 2021 season's greetings, the sexual innuendos in the BE behind scenes video, JK sniffing Jimin's hair in the Be unboxing video to that moment on the couch when Jimin hit his head on JK's knees- that shit look like it hurt. Damn. JK what is your knees made of! Lmho.

I am uncomfortable discussing a Jikook era or phase when it's on going on. I like to simply take note of certain moments and discuss them in post by reconstructing the timeline to place content in its rightful timeframe.

I can only share with you my working theory on such moments and for the most part, like I said previously I feel Jikook- especially JK is having issues with the company. Perhaps because the company stumbled on something they weren't supposed to see.

As for Jikook's personal development, I think we all saw this development coming, didn't we? After JM's birthday fiasco? I think I hypothesized at the time that whoever was in the 'wrong' in that situation would come swinging hard on their Jikook agenda in the aftermath. And with that whole GCF Tokyo reference, signing his name to JK's name at the pop up, the stealing looks at JK during interviews, checking him out left right left, trying to make Jk 'jealous' with RM at the Be press con red carpet, it's not hard to figure out who did what in that birthday situation.

I plan on writing a blog on this very topic, because I've received quite a few Asks about my thoughts on JK outing Jimin, military service and others that I find intriguing and want to discuss but I also want to discuss Vminkook dynamics, Jikook boundaries and I don't know which one to get into first. When I'm torn between options I end up not making a choice at all. Lol.

All I can say in regards to Jikook and their on going 'situation' is that- I love it. Lol. I love their dynamics, I love where they are at in their love journey, I love where they are heading. Jikook is just beautiful in every sense of the word.

I love what JK is doing. I love where he has gotten my bias to- which is confronting himself and figuring out what he wants from their relationship. Because, honestly you can't have your cake and eat it. It just doesn't work that way.

What you are seeing is just JK asserting himself against Jimin I'm afraid. It's the push and pull thingy all over again.

I keep talking about 'the boy in love with Jungkook' being a facade and persona Jimin hides behind to love JK and most people don't understand.

JK's persona is not the boy in love with Jimin. It's the boy cold and shy who rejects Jimin- well at least that was the persona he had in their early dynamics around debut.

He has since shed that persona and the bold, fearless, assertive JK we see on the screens is him choosing to unapologetically express his love and feelings for Jimin. And jimin enjoys that.

But you take a look at Jimin, and you don't see that drastic change in his persona or the way he expresses himself with JK- I mean let's call a spade a spade.

Do I think Jimin loves JK? Absolutely. Do I think he is being authentic in the way that he expresses those feelings to JK on camera? Only to an extent.

It's obvious who Jimin is to JK or even the way he expresses himself and his love for JK is slightly different off camera than the persona we see on our screens. For one, clearly JK is not used to seeing Jimin prioritize others over him or be overly affectionate with others besides him. I mean it's been seven years. Ten, if you count the periods before. You'd think JK would get used to JM doing skinship with others or showing affection for the others especially since they've lived together over half of the time and yet here we are, frying pans away from the apocalypse whenever any member breaths near Jimin. Damn JK. Lmho.

Do I think his persona is slightly exaggerated? Yes. But I also think JM downplays his love for Jk with his 'Mr I'm available' personality, his Kumbaya attitude, and his I'm just a nice guy on the block character, which often leads to people questioning whether or not he treats JK different from the group. Don't get me wrong JK does this too.

Jimin loves JK. But at this point the question is is he expressing that love in the way that meets JK's emotional needs? Is he allowing JK to love him and express the love he feels for him in the way that makes him happy?

I think that's what the birthday fiasco is all about.

If you don't want JK openly showing and expressing his love for you in a way that he wants to and in a way that holds meaning to him and makes him feel fulfilled as well in the relationship then what is the point of him holding on to the glass closet?

Two can play that game. Lol.

It's JK's needs above the groups and I feel he is putting it right up there next to JM's needs because they are both valid.

You should have seen JK's face when Jimin decided tell the truth about his location on September 1st in that BB press interview.

I remember pointing out that when JM started that narration with the first person pronoun he was going for a well curated narrative perhaps one the group had agreed on prior to avoid confirming his location on the JK's birthday like they had tried to do during the VLive but dropped that and went with the honest truth the moment he started talking about being with Jk and using 'we' instead of 'I' in his speech.

I'm glad the interviewer from his Weverse magazine interview confirmed and pointed out this tell or habit of Jimin when he speaks,

"When he’s talking, Jimin often starts his sentence with phrases like, “I just,” “it just,” “they just …” But then he immediately goes on to open up about his feelings, always providing a sincere response."

At least now we know for sure he wasn't lying about his location- for all those who called him a liar.

Anywho, my point is it makes JK happy when Jimin expresses his love and feelings for him. But it also makes him happy when he is able to show the world just how much JM means to him.

He didn't get those tattoos for nothing. He didn't do the GCFs for nothing. He didn't nibble on his ear in front of thousands of people for nothing- had he posted for Jimin on his birthday, given how he hadn't done that for anyone in a year, it wouldn't have been for nothing either. In my opinion.

When I tell y'all Jimin is gonna wake up one day with JK's ring on his finger and he wouldn't know what hit him. Chilee. Lmho.

Listen, JK is in love LOVE with Jimin. It's my opinion and I'm gonna treat it as fact because I believe it- if you disagree keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear it. Lol.

That boy is in love with my bias. Ain't nobody gonna tell me nothing. Lol.

Seriously though, JK loves Jimin and he loves expressing those feelings for him. He goes overboard sometimes with it to the point it's borderline outing but we don't talk about that. Lol.

He's progressed through out the years from hiding his feelings for Jimin, whispering I love you's to JM when he thinks JM is alseep, slipping matching plasters onto his finger, all the way to Rosebowl.

If you ask me, he wants to be Jimin's equal in every sense of the word and as much as he loves to be at the recieving end of JM's affections, he enjoys being at the giving end.

And if JM has the cover of 'the boy in love with the Maknae' and it works perfectly for him not just as a persona but the perfect excuse for loving Jk then you gotta wonder what cover JK equally has for loving JM the way that he does. He has none. His every move is questioned by members, by staff, by fans- why do you film Jimin so much, why not put Tae in there for clicks, why are you constantly with Jimin and other invasive questions like that.

Jimin gets away with a lot of things than JK because of his personality and his persona. People would question the things JK does most of the time while dismissing the things Jimin does as either fanservice or as flowing from his personality. Whereas JK cannot get away with those same things.

We paint JK as Jeonlous and possessive but we forget most times he acts that way so Jimin doesn't have to. Jimin has said he doesn't share his friends and yet somehow we think he is ok with sharing his boyfriend with 5 other members or those 5 members with his boyfriend- this is code, let it sink in.

There is a lot of boundaries he instills there and it's equally an expression of possessiveness. Yet it's so subtle you might not even notice.

Jk makes Jimin look cool. He takes the fall so Jimin doesn't have to. When JK takes a step back that's when you see how whipped JM is- the neediness, the clinginess- PJMs give me a break. *rolling my eyes. It needs to be said. I love Jimin too but shit, it is what is. Lol.

I think it's gonna take a while for Jk to open back up to Jimin, to get in the space where he feels safe expressing himself with Jimin the way that he was doing before Jimin's birthday.

It doesn't mean he hates Jimin or doesn't love him or doesn't want him or doesn't care. But I think Jimin needs to step up to show he is on the same page as JK because JK is all about reciprocity. He ain't about to do the one sided unrequited nonsense. Lol.

Honestly all this is part of Jikook's dynamics. This not the first time Jk's closed himself off. The last time he did it was because they had gone through a nasty breakup- I said what I said. In my opinion nonetheless. Lol.

In the aftermath of it, he was expressing similar behavior. In Suga's Birthday Vlive this year for example, when Jimin was clinging to him and had his hands on his leg he didn't take the bait either- man was it frustrating to watch. Lol. But you could see JM wanted that physical connection with him. Did you see his smug face when Jimin was all over him?

I think he is just going through a phase where he needs reassurance of Jimin's love. Jimin is a big guy and he knows his man best and I think he knows exactly what he needs to do to get him to come around. Lol.

I mean he flew all the way from Paris to see him on his birthday didn't he?

I think we have to leave them to it. Just observe them. I hate commenting on a phase like this especially when it's on going. I'd rather talk about it after it's ended and a new phase has begun for them.

Part of supporting Jikook is knowing when to give them privacy and room to just unfold their story and be human. They are a living breathing love story after all.

Jk isn't being distant. He is just not interacting with JM the way we are used to seeing him do. But I feel that's part Bighit asking them to cool off and part him just wanting reassurance from Jimin.

At this point, I want to ask why you want people to acknowledge JK is closed off? To what end? I don't think anyone is denying that they are going through this phase- well the Kumbaya tradshippers are but why do you want me to acknowledge this fact? I already pointed out that there is something stressfing their dynamics.

They have their own personal stuff going on but I don't think it's much of an issue and at the same time they seem to be having issues with their company- You have to take all of that into consideration to see how that affects their dynamics as well.

You have to be aware of the timeline too. Because content is not released in chronological order, it may seem like a rollercoaster ride when in actual sense all of this may have happened with a specific time frame.

When it comes to Jikook always assume they are much closer than you think. Jikook is fine, I believe. Just take mental notes of these things for posterity. I wouldn't be worried about them.

As usual, this has been my opinion. Don't take it too seriously. Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

[lil-nerdydudewithwings-blog]

Idk if this was made already (apologies if so) but I noticed Jensen has a peculiar way of unconsciously allowing himself to let on public displays of affection towards other men - in this case, Misha. And this impacts his performance as Dean. 

Things we know for sure:

Jensen seems to always end up close to Misha, and one way or another finds himself touching Misha (more than he does other people he works with)

Misha is soft and tender towards Jensen (even if he tries to bro-slap Jen, it comes out as a lingering caress)

Jensen believes in a solid traditional concept of masculinity (perceptible by some comments like “real men do this/have this”, etc..) 

I don’t intend to psychoanalyze Jensen or judge him for some of his core beliefs. I do think, however, that all metas in this world are not enough to fully understand Dean and Cas relationship if we don’t consider the dynamics between the actors who play them. In order to understand why Dean acts the way he does in certain situations, we can’t ignore Jensen’s personality, and his relationship with Misha. I’ve found some of the bro-slaps and rough manhandling a bit inappropriate for some of the emotionally charged scenes, and now I’m pretty sure they weren’t scripted at all. I always thought this was Jensen’s way of bro-ing up Dean and Cas’ relationship but I wasn’t aware how much of it was not deliberate/intentional. 

Women are raised to be (more) at ease in what concerns developing intimacy with same gender friends. They’re not scolded or marginalized by saying “I love you’s” and openly showing affection towards one another. Masculinity, on the other hand, traditionally establishes itself by the rejection of all traits associated with the feminine. An anti-femininity, if you will. Femininity - traditionally - includes not only intimacy with other women but liking men. Involves allowing them to touch you in intimate ways (I know it sounds like a bunch of crap in 2017, but gender norms have been shaped and defined by these principles for centuries). 

There’s a part of born-and-raised-in-Texas-Jensen that rejects the idea of having intimacy with other men. His knee-jerk reaction is “hell, nah, I gotta go”. It’s not even about sexuality, it’s about his idea of manhood, and gender boundaries. Here lies, I believe, the reason why we don’t see Dean being as physically affectionate towards Cas as it would seem natural in their story. Jensen sees Dean as the manliest man there is, in some ways he even admires and looks up to him - as a reference. What Jensen - thinks he - has control over, is the definition of said boundaries: Cas is Dean’s bro. He runs with this even though he knows it’s more complex than that. What Jensen can’t see, is how that mask - the boundaries, the effort, the whole thing - goes up in flames with a single off camera (and set) interaction with Misha. 

Most men are raised to only seek intimacy with women, and they crave it with other men, with their friends. Once they feel their manhood is no longer being questioned all the time, once they settle down in a het relationship, have a bunch of kids and their social status is unquestionably secure, they start to allow themselves to experience small portions of intimacy with other men. And I mean, closeness, tenderness, gentleness in the touch. Allowing themselves to feel and be felt by their friend without having to school their facial expression, or recoil from their touch wondering what it looks like from the outside - without worrying about what people will think.

We sure enjoy the show he and Misha put up on every Cockles panel. The innuendos are fun, messy and liberating, but Jensen has shown, more often than not, to actually be drawn to Misha. His body language indicates he gravitates to Misha whenever he can, even if so ever slightly, he will turn towards Misha, look him in the eye, study his reaction after every comment, every remark. There are countless posts on here pointing out just how differently Jensen carries himself around Misha vs everyone else on the set. We can see it. What we don’t always see, so well, is Jensen’s inner struggle to reestablish boundaries with someone who keeps making him tearing them down - Misha. What I’m getting at is that, something as impersonal as a shoulder-slap is charged with meaning coming from Jensen. Dean doing it towards Cas, shows this is Jensen’s definition of love between men, of affection - matter of fact, as affectionate as he can bring himself to be in public. It says “I love him, and were he a she, I would kiss him on the cheek”.

We can’t fully understand Destiel and the feelings involved without looking into certain attitudes the actors (let) bleed out to the characters. The same way, some of the the teasing and - downright - filthy looks Dean gives Cas, actually result of Jensen teasing Misha during shooting. When Jensen allies with Jared and tries to make Misha break character by flirting with him, making R rated comments, sexual innuendos, etc... Which, by the way, is what I call - flirting. One thing is to shove a broom or whatever between Misha’s legs to make him break character like Jared is fond of, another entirely different is to sexually tease and frustrate Misha. Jensen knows the power (and I had to make an effort to not type “influence”) he has over Misha, and he likes it enough to keep using it. The real question is how much he gets off on this bizarre dynamic.

We should discuss more often about how when it comes to Dean and Cas, the writers do not script what we love to gif over here: the longing looks, the sexy tease, the checking out mode... Whereas, the distance between them is planed and set by marks on the floor to fit the camera angles, the mannerisms, facial expressions and looks are mostly Jensen and Misha. 

What I find intriguing about the bro-slap is how it contrasts immensely with Jensen’s body language towards Misha. He wants to touch Misha. Whether in unscripted scenes or off camera, Jensen wants to touch him. No one is making him reach out to touch him every chance he gets, be it a shoulder/back/chest slap, a hand on his shoulder or back, putting his arm around him, or rubbing shoulders... it is obvious that Jensen craves that touch, that intimacy, even if (and probably, I’d say) he doesn’t realize it. So his brain offers him a way out, a coping mechanism to touch Misha in a way he’s comfortable with, he can touch him all he wants as long as he’s rough and manhandles him. Mainly when he’s hyper aware of thousands or even millions of eyes on them. I don’t believe for a minute Dean would bro-slap Cas in private, not at this stage, not with their story, I do believe those scenes are Jensen giving himself permission to have some men-on-men intimacy. Oddly enough, for such a careful actor, Jensen, sure knows how to school his body movements in public but can’t seem to be able to exercise control over his facial expressions, eyes, or his unruly eagerness when interacting with Misha.

[yladri]

Detailed Character Profile

Tagged by: @cinnamon-suncat

Tagging: @bexli-nelhah, @missmeela, @diskwrite-ffxiv, @nyx-ffxiv, @vhas-ya-ffxiv, @thegildenheart, @anyways-heres-manawall, @laceys-ffxiv-blog, @nesuneofeorzea, @powderburned, @dev-ffxiv, @robotprinzess, @chxsingthemoon, @nahlithehatcat, @rubysiren, @satogokoro-ffxiv, @amarata-xiv

Appearance:

Gender: Female.

Race: Miqo’te, Seeker of the Sun.

Height: 5′5.

Weight: 195 ponze.

Eye Color: Bright green.

Hair Color: Red.

The Facts:

Nameday: Early 5th Umbral Moon, doesn’t know the exact day.

Occupation: Mercenary, security chief for the Drunken Moogle Pub ( @drunkenmoogle ).

Allegiance: Mostly to individuals, but by extension the Mahov family ( @mahov-ffxiv ) and Drunken Moogle Pub.

Sexual Identification: Homosexual.

Romantic Identification: Homoromantic, polyamorous.

Alignment: Neutral.

Criminal History: None, although she did once kill a Brass Blade patrol, which some people (notably Brass Blades) might possibly consider a crime; the only witness chose not to report it.

Relationship Status: Single.

Sweet On: Q’nahli Rhanya ( @nahlithehatcat ), although she knows it won’t happen. Also to a lesser extent Ishvara Malqir ( @rubysiren ), who she finds fascinating.

Favorites:

Favorite food: Meat.

Favorite drink: Water; left to herself, she drinks nothing else.

Favorite artist: Q’nahli Rhanya and Y’min Diari ( @minquisitor ), mostly because they’re both close friends. She has no particular interest in art.

Favorite scents: Leather and metal. She finds the familiarity calming.

Favorite person: Nyx Mahov ( @nyx-ffxiv ), her first and closest friend, and now cousin by adoption.

Extras:

Ten Facts:

Living Weapon: Y’ladri’s mother wanted a weapon more than a daughter, so that’s what she raised. Y’ladri’s entire childhood revolved around training to be the perfect killing machine, learning every weapon available (mainly focusing on melee weapons) and unarmed combat, as well as anatomy and biology; it’s easier to take something apart if you know how it’s put together. While her fighting style appears at a glance to be basically berserking, relying on raw power to overwhelm opponents, she’s actually a very precise fighter, every strike aiming for weak point in armor or physiology. While she -can- cut straight through bone or armor, it’s more efficient to strike between bones or plates. She’s studied a wide range of styles, including ones she’s personally unsuited to, both to better anticipate what spoken opponents may do and because any style might have elements she can use.

Always Ready: Due both to her training and trauma from her mother’s death, which she still largely blames herself for, Y’ladri is slightly obsessive about being ready for attack at any time. She never goes out without her armor and enough weapons for a platoon. Even in places she feels comfortable, she may take her axe and swordbelt off, but always keeps them in reach. When sleeping, she wears bracers and leg guards with small stilettos sheathed into them, because she’s more comfortable wearing blades.

Fatherless: Y’ladri has no idea who her father was; her mother would simply start cursing if the subject came up. He was probably a Seeker, as she shows no signs of mixed parentage, but that’s all she knows. She isn’t even certain if her surname came from him, or if her mother gave her a different one to avoid referencing him, but she’s never told anyone what it is, just in case: If it was his name, he’s not part of who she is. She introduced herself only as Y’ladri until she became a Mahov.

Insecure: Due to her last serious relationship ending in a very harsh breakup, Y’ladri has very little self-confidence in regards to anything but combat and raw physical ability, and has concluded that all but one person she’s been involved with was only interested in the sex. She now tends to assume people aren’t interested, even if they indicate they are (which she usually attributes to either natural flirtiness or trying to make her feel better), and that anyone who is probably just likes muscle or scars, rather than caring about her as a person. Despite a substantial interest in sex (and habit of ogling pretty girls), she doesn’t intend to get involved with anyone who isn’t a close friend first.

Void-Infected: Y’ladri’s left eye was cut out by a powerful voidsent, and both the socket and the scar down her face from it remain void-tainted, leaving them unnaturally blackened. While the taint has no significant effect on her as far as she’s aware, it is noticeable to anyone void-sensitive.

Myostatin-Related Muscle Hypertrophy: Y’ladri has MRMH, a mutation causing reduced body fat and dramatically increased muscle mass. She builds muscle very easily, even as a child, leading her mother to have her focus on heavier weapons such as her greataxe. This has produced a massive physique, more heavily muscled than even most Roegadyn.

Aetheric Strength: Y’ladri constantly draws in aether, boosting her strength, reducing bleeding and pain, and making her completely immune to physical fatigue. The effect is normally fairly slight, but increases as she gets more worked up, making her inhumanly strong while in combat.

Socially Ignorant: Y’ladri’s entire upbringing revolved around combat, leaving her with very little knowledge of social norms; her mother was always the one who dealt with people they weren’t killing, until her own death shortly after the Calamity. While this does have some positive aspects, such as leaving her with very few prejudices about groups of people (she’s not even aware that sex work is stigmatized), it also means she has no concept of appropriate topics or basic tact, and will cheerfully discuss sex and bloodshed in public, or openly ogle pretty girls, with no idea that it might be offending someone (other than said girls’ dates, but she sees that as jealousy, which she considers completely irrational).

Scars are Lessons: Y’ladri intentionally leaves cosmetic scars even from wounds she gets magically healed, maintaining that every scar is a lesson you lived through. This is especially true considering that most of hers actually come from her training as a child, when her mother would cut her and have her practice while bleeding in order to learn to ignore pain, rather than from actual combat.

Magicless: Aside from her aetheric strength and teleportation (which is unusually easy for her, due to a very strong anima and learning at a young age), Y’ladri is entirely unable to use magic. This is most likely due to her extremely direct, straightforward view of things meshing poorly with the more intricate requirements of aether manipulation.

Five Things:

They Like:

Sex

Directness

Practicality

Free will

Touching

They Dislike:

Slavery

Rape

Friends being hurt

Verbal evasiveness

Boasting

Good Traits:

Loyal

Fearless

Honest

Affectionate

Open-minded

Bad Traits:

Tactless

Limited understanding of morality

Reckless

Passive

Entirely combat-oriented by upbringing

Fears:

Losing friends

Failure causing harm to friends

Disability leaving her unable to fight

Being vulnerable

Loss of free will

Personalities They Avoid:

Nunh-ish: Y’ladri despises people who act as though they assume every woman they meet wants them, an attitude she particularly associates with Nunhs; that association likely comes from her mother, who left the tribe several years before Y’ladri was born. It’s a very quick way to ensure she never warms up to someone.

Arrogant: Y’ladri tends to feel that if you have to flaunt how great you are, you probably aren’t. If you were really as good as you think, you wouldn’t need to keep waving it in people’s faces.

Belligerent: Despite being a professional killer, Y’ladri sees no reason to start trouble, and prefers to avoid those that do. She doesn’t understand why some people seem to feel the need to pick fights over nothing, and to her, very little is worth starting trouble over. Why bother?

Unreliable: If she can’t trust you, Y’ladri isn’t going to want anything to do with you. It’s just not worth it.

Passive: While Y’ladri doesn’t particularly dislike passive people, her own passiveness and tendency to be a bit of a follower rather than taking the initiative outside combat means that her interactions with other passive individuals tend not to really go anywhere interesting.

Personalities They Gravitate Toward:

Maternal: Y’ladri is a naturally affectionate person, but her mother was very much not. As a result, she tends to be very fond of warm, caring types, finding them relaxing to be around.

Dependable: Y’ladri likes feeling she can rely on someone, even if it takes a while for her to warm up to people enough to entirely trust them.

Confident: Y’ladri feels everyone should have a clear self-knowledge, confident enough about their own abilities - both strengths and weaknesses - to accept them without feeling the need to either flaunt or hide them.

Innocent: Curiously, Y’ladri can get -very- protective of innocent cinnamon-roll types. I really have no explanation for how this came about, it just sort of happens.

Assertive: Because she’s a bit passive herself, Y’ladri prefers to let someone she trusts take the lead, although she doesn’t much like people thinking they can just order her around. As such, she likes people who are assertive without being controlling, and willing to take the lead.

[catboy-jaebeom]

I posted 9,513 times in 2022

That's 6,262 more posts than 2021!

41 posts created (0%)

9,472 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

lefluff

@eyes-of-simha

@meant-to-be-a-hero

@arel-o-imladris

@iforgotmyurl

I tagged 7,353 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#got7 - 778 posts

#positivity - 740 posts

#!!! - 662 posts

#writing ideas - 613 posts

#writing references - 550 posts

#art - 454 posts

#cats - 289 posts

#queer stuff - 277 posts

#bitter millennial blogging - 250 posts

#hübsche menschen - 226 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

week two of #got7revival: fave era

visually: JayB's Piercing Era

this was the first look and the first couple of pictures I've ever seen of Jaebeom, and although I wasn't present yet when it happened, mentally I'm still there and I cannot wait for him to maybe at least get his nose pierced again. YOU GUYS WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAS HAPPENED!! I've seen the posts of non-ahgase asking who the "piercing guy in GOT7" was, and I wish I had already been a kpop fan at that time, but alas. ( the long hair is a very pretty bonus, too!! )

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10 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#4

week one of #got7revival: bias & wrecker

bias: Jaebeom & Youngjae

jaebeom was the first member of GOT7 I found while looking for faceclaims for my fantasy novel about one and a half years ago ( march 2021 ) ; he got me and a friend into kpop and the rest is history. I love this weird cat guy ( affectionate ) with his twin moles and the utter passion and leadership he always brings to the table. I also adore that he talks about his depression and anxiety so relatively openly. he wouldn't need to, and yet he does, and I respect that a lot. it makes even me feel better about myself, and I thought I had a really good grip on mine.

once I knew the members and had gotten familiar with their character and all, I started gravitating towards youngjae as well. I sometimes wonder whether he wouldn't have been my ( actual / only ) bias in GOT7 if a) jaebeom wasn't so very special to me that it feels wrong to switch biases, and b) I had already known the members when I had gotten into GOT7, or if GOT7 hadn't been my very first group and I had already been much more familiar with how groups worked and all that. he's 97 percent shy, innocent maknae, and 3 percent a wicked minx who nobody can be mad at and I love that for him.

the bottom line is that I bias them both and they seem to be okay with having shared custody, if you wanna call it that. I'm calling it that now.

btw, I always consider those people the bias that I have a soft spot for, who I relate to on a personality level, who make me feel all warm and cozy when I watch them do their thing — and the wrecker is the one that just wrecks me with their visuals or voice or whatever it is. I can't look at them for long because that's overwhelming because they're so v attractive ( not saying my biases aren't, but the wreckers just take a bat and swing it at me, while the biases just don't cause that reaction in my brain ) idk, I hope this makes sense, but I've heard people describe biases as the ones that are in "first place" and the wreckers are trying to dethrone them and that's just not my definition of it. kakdif no hate tho! just wanted to explain that.

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14 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#3

not to be a nerd on main about this, but we should stop transcribing 형 / 누나 and 오빠* / 언니 as bro / sis. linguistically they have very different connotations and it's kinda driving me up a wall as someone who's very invested and interested in languages, like, I do realize that especially casual watchers of like kdramas, who just started getting into them after Netflix or whomever added a bunch of them to their library, don't really care and that's totally fine with me! it's a considerably small thing, and if you just wanna watch something without diving into the language or culture or anything, then you're totally free to, that's valid, honestly

just. that's not what those words mean, connotation-wise and every time I read "bro!" or "sis!" in Netflix's or even YT's subtitles I die a bit inside.

obviously I'm not Korean and if anyone who speaks the language well / lives in Korea and is well familiar with when those are used, wants to weigh in, feel absolutely free to!

but to break it down briefly, those are honorifics attached to a person's name if they're older than you, but not, like, significantly. older students, older colleagues at work if you're a bit more friendly with them, friends, and ( your actual ) siblings. they are normal and do not immediately imply you view the other person as a sort of sibling from another parent.

yes, they do basically translate to "older brother" / "older sister", but transcribing it with "bro" and "sis" respectively has an entirely different impact than what they are actually supposed to infer. it's a polite suffix, that can in certain situations also imply trust or a more intimate relationship, because otherwise ( especially outside of a school context ) you'd use 씨 ( shee ) after their name. just that nobody especially in a school context does that because they use 형 ( hyeong / hyung ) / 누나 ( noona ) and 오빠* ( oppa ) / 언니 ( eonnie / unnie ) — former is used by males and latter by females, both times to address an older 'brother' / an older 'sister' respectively — either alone or after their name.

the companion piece is adding 아 or 야 (-a for names with a consonant at the end or -ya for those with a vowel ) to the names of people younger than you ( or those you're close with ) — and for example in All Of Us Are Dead they do that all the time and it's not transcribed by cutesy-fying their names is it now. they just put their names into the subtitles and move on.

I personally think it'd be much better to simply use you in any other sentence and if some character yells 형! across the room in distress, to transcribe it with the other character's name for emphasis. that's for me personally the closest, connotation-wise.

or, you know, have hyeong / noona / eunnie / oppa* in the transcript / subtitles in italics and explain it with some translator annotation the first time it appears alone. but that's generally an issue with subtitles on such platforms I feel. they remove words when creating the subtitles and leave out such nuances because gods forbid they'd force casual viewers to pause the show to read the annotations akskdkf. either way,

tl;dr they don't use teen slang in kdramas all the time even if the subtitles would have you believe otherwise and it's probably a problem that stems from companies thinking they can't "bother" their customers with having to pause to read, but I think that's simply taking away important context to a depicted story and I'd really like it to stop, thank you.

*oppa is a bit special because it is also used as a sort of term of endearment by women towards their boyfriends, or like, when they flirt with them pre-relationship, so it can also imply a romantic interest, be mindful of that. but I'd assume then it'd be transcribed with some sort of babe or honey or something.

14 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

#2

week three of #got7revival: fave choreo

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35 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

can't believe my dear friend Jonathan is so polite he didn't even get angry when his host simply destroyed his shaving mirror, the only working mirror in the whole castle, especially after he didn't see him in said mirror, like, I get you are finally seeming to catch up but Jonathan pls catch up faster, I'm begging

36 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

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