#but nooooooo. lest my parents find out somehow
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i saw someone today on tiktok thats been on low dose of t for 4 yrs. day ruined
#i also saw a butch whos getting top surgery this month. day ruined x2#when will i come out. i AM out but i still have to be careful and not be TOO masculine bc of my parents#especially my mom. like if it was for me i would be like. on t rn im not even kidding#and i wouldve probably come out to more ppl (especially in my family) than i already have#but nooooooo. lest my parents find out somehow#i dont wanna know their reactions either. from the reaction they had 9 yrs ago when they found out#that a friend of mine was a lesbian and that i had lied (read: not told them until they asked THEN i lied)#anyway that reaction was. probably the lowest point in my lifeeeeeeeee or one of the lowest points in my life.#i was miserable for at least a month and i only was able to distract myself w the fact that i was moving to spain (which made it worse)#oh and bc of that fiasco my mom blamed me for 'losing 3000$' basically (when in reality it was bc of her homophobic ass but whatever)#z xarre
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