#but no i poked at it and the mostly dry glue came off in one big satisfying peel

[aroace-poly-show]

goddamn i just had the most satisfying moment

[whumpasaurus101]

Like Father, Like Son - Pt 4.

I- listen.. i thought this would be just like two pieces but- i swear it wont get out of my head HUJHKDJHD

ANYWHO ENJOY A CONCUSSED ASHY BOI <3

Part one / part two / part three

---

Whoever was poking and prodding their fucking finger into Asher’s side had a fucking deathwish.

His eyebrows furrowed as he slowly opened his eyes, only to quickly close them as a blinding white bolt of white filled his vision. Way too fucking bright. His head felt as if it was in the clouds and spinning like some fucking planet.

“F’ck ’ff-” Was all he could manage, his lips barely able to move. 

He could feel something cold running down his neck, he tried to move his arm to wipe away some of the blood but his body lit up with pain. “Well look who’s up,” Came a voice. Ah yes. He knew that voice well. That voice from the person who’s face made him light up with anger, wanting to punch that dumb smirk off of his face.

A sharp pain bolted through his skull, a whimper escaped his lips, fists curling up and jaw clenching hard. “Easy, buddy,” Rodger sighed, gently running his hand through Asher’s hair- being sure to mind the huge gash in the back of Asher’s head.

Asher hates himself for it but he leaned into the touch, feeling his face beginning to burn a dark red. His mouth felt dry, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he spoke- his voice hoarse, “Dr-dr’gged?” Rodger felt a small twinge in his chest, guilt dripping cold and painful. “N-no, Ash. I- You uh, you tried to defend me and uh…well… father shoved you..hard, and well, you banged your head pretty hard against the radiator.”

Asher blinked, barely processing anything that was said. He blinked again, his eyes moving to Rodger but not focusing, “Wh-wha’?” Rodger rolled his eyes, “Head went bang on metal, concussed.”

“Mhnn…”

“Cmon, I need you to hold still while I glue this wound shut.”

Asher let out a giggle, “Nglue? Wh’m I, some s’rtta art pro-project?” Rodger hesitated, letting out a sigh before laughing, “Yeah sure, then I’ll add some fucking glitter to complete it.” Asher’s eyebrows furrowed, slowly twisting his head around to look at Rodger before giggling quietly. 

He winced as a cold feeling trickled down his head, he let out a whimper, trying to weakly kick out at Rodger. “Oi, stay still, this will only take a second, I swear.” Asher squeezed his eyes shut, another whimper escaping his throat, “H-h’rts-”

“I know… I know it does, just a few more seconds.”

Asher cried out as Rodger gently touched his wound, he desperately tried to kick out but Rogder managed to hold Asher down, “One fucking second, Asher, please.” Asher’s cries continued but he forced himself still- mostly because it was only making him more dizzy. 

“Okay,” Rodger sighed, “That should be okay, just… please don't touch it, let the glue dry.” Asher only replied with a short nod, curling in on himself on the floor, hugging an arm around himself with a shaky sigh.

Rodger looked at him for a moment, a slight smile on his face before he turned to his wardrobe, taking out Asher’s favourite hoodie of Rodgers. He took out the red hoodie, placing it on the bed before turning back to Asher, “Alright, we gotta get you up, father will come in again if we take too long.”

It took Rodger a while to get Asher onto his feet, catching him as the other started swaying. He made Asher sit on the side of his bed before handing him his hoodie, watching Asher’s face immeditely light up, eyes sparkling, “Thank you,” He smiled, Rodger had to help putting the hoodie on, minding Asher’s wounds on his back. Asher insisted keeping the hood up and so of course Rodger let him.

Rodger smirked before clearing his throat, “Hey uhm.. Why did you protect me?” He watched as Asher’s face went slightly pink, “Mm… I just… don't get me wong, y're a shitty shitty person, but uh..I think i-it’s fucked up that he’d la-lay a hand on you.”

Asher couldn't tell if it was the concussion or if he could see the tip of Rodger’s ears flush a dark pink. He decided to push it away for now.

“Well uh… thanks. I guess, I know that's what you're supposed to be doing, but really all you've been doing is being a little shit and not doing what you're suposed to.” Asher smirked, “G’ss it makes me doing the things even more special.” 

Rodger rolled his eyes, “Oh shut up, You're such a bullshitter.” Asher smirked before yawning, “‘m sleepyyyy,” He whined but was quickly cut off. “No way in hell am I letting you sleep with a  fucking concussion, but I’ll get us take out and you can relax, deal?”

“Can Jack come over?”

Rodger’s face twisted slightly, “N-no buddy… sorry….” He watched as any hope Asher once had completely drained from his face. He forced the guilt away before smiling, “Cmon, let's order some food.” He stops just before he could open the door before cursing under his breath, turning back to face Asher, “I need to put the gag back on…” A whine escaped the back of Asher’s throat but he took a shaky breath before staying still, letting Rodger tie the cloth back around his face, he even pulled down his hood for Rodger to allow him access.

Rodger grit hit teeth as he tied the knot, reminding himself how much of a little shit Asher is, but he couldn't get his adorable face out of his head. Stop it, Jesus Christ, stop it. “Alright… just, just keep your head down and stick to yourself, please.”

Asher just nodded, tears which threatened to fall glistened in his eyes. Rodger forced himself to turn back around, opening the door as he listened to Asher follow behind him.

Once they entered the room, they saw Nikos and Kimberly sitting on the couch opposite the television. Asher tried to ignore how bile churned in his stomach, forcing himself to continue to follow Rodger into the room. Rodger guided him to the armchair, running his hand through Asher’s hair, “You sit down buddy, I won’t be long.”

Asher whimpered, he would do anything to not be stuck in a room with that sorry excuse of a sod and his girlfriend sitting on the couch near him. Rodger smiled sympathetically but gently pushed Asher to sit. Once Rodger took Nikos and Kimberly’s order, he rang the nearest restaurant and made his way to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

The silence was practically deafening, Asher’s leg began to bounce up and down, his hands fidgeting. Kimberly gently scratched at Nikos scalp with a smile, whispering something in Nikos ear.

“Why don’t you ask the mutt yourself,” Nikos huffed, eyes boring into Asher who clenched his jaw. His hands itched to tear the cloth out of his mouth but the pounding of his head and the dark red littering his back reminded him how much he really didn’t want to test his luck.

“Quit bouncing your leg, it's terrible manners,” Nikos grumbled. Asher rolled his eyes, not stopping his leg as he chewed on the cloth. “Hey, I’m talking to you, mutt.” Asher clenched his hands into tight fists, feeling his nails bite into his palms. He couldn't suppress a flinch as Nikos stood up, storming over to him.

“Honey, it’s alright, he’s had enough,” Kimberly tried to reason with Nikos but she knew it was no use.

“No, I'm sick and tired of everyone taking this mutt's side.” Nikos grabbed a fistful of Asher’s hair, wrenching his head up. Asher yelled out, tears filling his eyes as his head felt on fire, he was dizzy enough before, but now he couldn't see straight. He growled something out, not even sure himself of what he had said. Nikos grabbed the gag and ripped it from Asher’s mouth, yanking his head back even more before growling low and sinister into the boy’s ear, “If you have something so important to say, say it.” Asher shuddered, feeling Nikos’ warm breath slowly wash down the nape of his neck, raising goosebumps. A tear slowly rolled down his cheek as he forced his eyes open, forcing himself to look at Nikos in the eyes;

“G-go..ff..ffuck y’rself….”

The fury in Nikos’ eyes which blazed like fire was a short success for Asher until Nikos’ fist met with his cheekbone, sending his head flying to the side- which it barely could since the bastard’s grip remained in his hair, keeping his head still.

Asher let out a cry, feeling blood trickle from his lip. Aiden hates when that happens.

Nikos reeled back his fist once more but Asher choked out, “‘m so-sorry…” Nikos’ eyebrow raised, pulling Asher’s hair so Asher spoke into Nikos’ ear, “Repeat that again, mutt.” Asher shook with a silent cry, tears were streaming down his face at this point as he licked his lips, “I-I-  ‘m s-s’rr-sorry…” 

“There’s oooneee word your missing and you know it.” Nikos’ grip in Asher’s hair tightened in warning, making the other whimper, “I-I’m sorry- s’-sir…..”

Nikos instantly let go, Asher falling back onto the chair as his hand gently rubbed at his burning scalp. “My son has most definitely been too soft on you, but don't worry, it's never too late to train an old dog.” Asher could stop the shudder which ran through his spine. He put the hood back up, wiping his face with the oversized sleeves. He wanted Jack, Jesus, he just wanted a hug.

He moved around in the chair so he could hug his legs up to his chest, resting his forehead against his knees. He didn't even lift his head up as the kitchen opened.

“Everything’s order-” Rodger paused, eyes moving from his father, to Asher then back to Nikos, clenching his jaw. Nikos jutted his chin out, “Something to say?” Rodger gulped, clenching his fist behind his back before forcing out, “No, father. I uhm, I’ve ordered the food, it should be here soon.” Nikos simply nodded once in reply. He watched as his son’s eyes fell to Asher and scoffed, rolling his eyes, “I swear to god if anyone feels sorry for him I will drag him outside and leave him out in the pouring rain for the night, am I understood?”

Rodger clenched his jaw, sitting on the second armchair with his arms folded before nodding. He waited until Nikos’ glare lifted off of him before his eyes landed back to Asher, his stomach uneasy and guilt flooded him. He’ll make it up to Asher, he has to.

---

Taglist: @likeit-or-whumpit @milk-carton-whump @yesthisiswhump @appy-polly-loggies @whump-cafe @hold-back-on-the-comfort @tears-and-lilies @whumpkinpie @scribbbelle @happy-little-sadist (you were on the taglist before idk if you still wanna be on it nini just lmk :D <3) @whump-queen @whumpdreamz @thelazywitchphotographer(LMK IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED OR REMOVED MWUAH <3)

[tonispencerart]

When Art Goes 'Wrong' Part Two

Once I had done all of the wooden slices properly primed with PVA glue and gesso (lightly sanding with sandpaper in between each layer. I used two layers of PVA glue and three layers of gesso) I realised that I had basically forgotten how to mix and paint skin tones in acrylic paint. So, while the final layer of gesso was drying, I opened up my laptop and went straight to YouTube. I kind of love YouTube. You can learn all kinds of stuff on YouTube. Knowing this, I went looking for videos on how to mix skin tones with acrylic paint. I used a page of my sketchbook and gave myself a crash course in skin tones. It was amazing how much I'd forgotten but it all came back again soon enough.

And really, you don't need much, which is nice! Actually, that's true for most art, in my opinion. I have a limited paint selection because so much can be done with only a few colours. My main acrylic palette has the following colours: Red (usually a Primary red or the closest to it) Yellow Yellow Ochre Blue (typically an Ultramarine or Primary blue) Burnt Sienna Burnt Umber Black White You'll notice there's a black. While I would normally mix my own black paint, having a tube of black paint (I think it's a Lamp Black, but I'm not sure) can be useful. I almost never use black paint straight from the tube, though. I add in other colours to brighten it and make it pop and more interesting. And you can mix skin tones with them. With this new/re-learned knowledge, I grabbed a reference image and started mixing up paint. About those reference images... I learned the hard way to have far more than you think you need because, if you're like me, you'll definitely ruin them. Lots of them. So I quickly got into the habit of printing multiple copies of them. I cut one of them out and stuck it to my handy lightpad. I love this thing, too. I'm not always confident with sketching before painting, especially if it's a portrait where the need for accuracy is essential. My sketching and pencil skills go right out of the window then! I traced the image, making note of the values and where they were, flipped my tracing, and traced it again. I could then use this to rub on the other side of it with a pencil - hard - so that the image transferred to the wood. If I remember to, I flip the image before printing it, but sometimes I forget about this step. It looks a bit like this...

Once I refreshed my memory of mixing skin tones in acrylic paint, I started painting a wee portrait of Henry Creel on a wooden slice that had been prepped with my new best friend Gesso. And then it was time to mix the skin tones. This took far longer than I expected. But, with an extra reference image that I could mess up and ruin as much as I wanted/needed to, I made enough paint in each of the values I needed, according to the reference image. By the end of it, the image was mostly made of splodges of paint! It was useless as a reference image by that point, but it looked cool - in a weird way.

And it was going fine, even if some of it kind of scared me a bit. I had to keep telling myself to Just Trust The Process. But I enjoyed it and liked what I was painting for most of it... I got to this point, which, to my mind, was almost finished. And I was preparing to call the whole experiment a success.

And then I ruined EVERYTHING. I was trying to work out if it was dry enough for me to add the final touches. I poked it. And smudged it.

I then said several bad words, threw it into a box and told it, finally, to b**ger off, and went to bed mad as heck. And then realised it was about two in the morning...

I still haven't finished it, by the way... I'm still mad at it.

[pbandjesse]

I cant stop whistling right now!! I am very annoyed about this. But it is okay. I had a really nice day. I don't actually have any complaints. Except I found out some extended family has covid. Like the entire part of that family. They have been incredibly reckless in my opinion throughout the last two years so it felt inevitable but also. It sucked. I don't know if they are vaccinated. But I hope they are okay.

I don't want to focus on that to much though because when I thnk about them I start getting really upset normally, so this only makes me feel worse.

But besides that I had a really good day. Even if I slept in way late.

My phone was charging on the other side of the room And I never turned my alarm on. I mostly felt bad about it because apparently my brother called me at 930 and texted me a question and I didn't answer for 12 hours and that's something he does all the time but I am supposed to be better then than that!!

But I woke up at 10 and wasn't even really well rested. I was mostly just annoyed that I had slept so late. Also I was incredibly itchy. My skin is a disaster right now. I am trying my best but I don't know whats happening with my new insurance and so I cant get any prescriptions right now. I am trying to find somewhere online to get some thing similar. But its fine. I will be okay. Even if it makes me feel very gross.

James had made me breakfast and once I got dressed I ate and felt pretty good. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do. I poked around the apartment. But I wanted to go out. So I asked Jess what target I should go to and it was decided I would go to the county.

And that was the best call.

I had a really nice drive out. And that target just finished a remodel so it was fun seeing the new layout. They did not have out all the valentines day stuff yet but that was okay. I did get some excellent stuff. I got some framed panels and a little shelf from the dollar spot, and then they had some Christmas clearance still and I got some more house frames and I was so jazzed. I had fun just walking around and looking at stuff. But that was all I wanted and I paid at self-checkout and went home.

I got back and I was pumped to do stuff. Tomorrow I will clean the floors, but today I wanted to make stuff. I lit a candle and got to work.

I would paint the house frames to match the others. And while those layers were drying I would work on my knife display with the panels I got. I was going to hot glue them but instead I used velcro and I love how it came out and I can still take them off to use them! Very pleased how that came out.

I also swapped out the rugs from the living room to the office. I was surprised how much dust was under them but it was good to clean it. I had to empty the vacuum twice during the entire process but I am very happy with the switch. I have not tried moving furniture yet but this was a good tiny change.

I would keep painting. Ate a late lunch. And I worked on my print! I finished the new one and I even filmed a few little videos. I was really pleased with myself making some videos today. I made a silly one making a thai tea like the coffee people on tiktok. And it was fun just poking around and doing silly stuff. I am trying hard to not feel guilt just enjoying myself.

Plus the print came out really nice. It is number 10 out of the planned series of 40, so it feels nice having made it to this milestone. I will start planning the next set of 10, but I need to up my production if I want to be done by march. But I think that will work out well if I make a good plan and stick to that.

I would hang up my new house shelves. And reorganize the objects. I moved all of the minibrands to the new advent house and made little rooms in the small ones. I am pleased because I still have space in all of them to grow and add objects when and if I get them. So that's just really nice. I am really happy with the apartment progress I have made so far.

I tried to have dinner. The spring rolls were fine but I was out of my ducksauce and the kind that came with them was disgusting so I just tried to eat without tasting them with only a little success. Ah well.

I joined James in the office. Played a little animal crossing but I wasn't really feeling like making much. I made one room and called it a day. I watched videos and enjoyed James's company until they were done work and headed out to get gas for the car and get a few groceries. And soon they were home and we had donuts together in the kitchen.

I got a shower and James helped me put medication on my back. And now we are in bed. I am in a good mood but I really really hope I can sleep earlier tonight. I am going to try to force myself to wake up early tomorrow. And then Jess is going to be here!! And I am really looking forward to having her here. I hope the last two days of this year are excellent and healthy and safe.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of each other!!

[paint-lady]

Faux Stained Glass

I posted a while back and a portion of yall mentioned you wanted to see some of my work, so here’s one of my best pieces...Faux Stained Glass. This was for my university’s production of Into the Woods. 

Looks like hundreds of individual pieces right? Yeah. Its actually 8 pieces of plexiglass. The process was one of the smoothest I had ever done, and I am really proud of my management skills as the charge artist for this production. This took a crew of 4 dedicated painters, and anywhere for 4-6 shifts of students completing hours for their courses. In total man hours, this took a week to complete.

So how did we do it? Well I got the draftings and renderings and looked at the designer and said, “so this is a translucency right?” A translucency is a process of stretching fabric with starch instead of white paint or sizing mixture (glue and water), which allows light to pass through the piece. Translucencies are challenging because you have to get the painting right on the first try- any layers inhibit the light passing through. Additionally, the watery consistency of the paint required has a tendency to bleed onto other areas. Regardless, I sat down and started formulating plans to make this and the designer looked me in the eye and said, 

“No. It’s on plexi-glass.”

“Glass?”

“Glass.”

“How is the paint supposed to stick? It’ll just peel off!” 

“Figure it out.”

So I got to work. I began testing how to make the paint translucent yet thick enough to bind onto the glass. The process involved “roughing up” the surface of the glass with sandpaper- this would give the paint something to “grip” and hopefully allow it to last longer through the show. 

I eventually came to the conclusion that the paint needed to be mostly white glue, which when dried yellowed a touch. This helped “age” the glass. And then I could add dyes and liquid pigment to create the colors I needed. 

For at home recipes it is a 2 to 1 ratio. For every 2 cups of glue you needed 1 cup of water. And then add your dye (drops!!). At home, you can use food dye or vivid acrylics, since I assume it isn’t normal to have 165$ worth of liquid pigments on hand (self drag). If you use paint, you will need more than drops for the color to show and you might want to switch to clear glue- as it might get too opaque or crack. However much pigment you add, whether spoonfuls or drops, you start by adding the same amount of sealer. This helped create a “shine” to the paint that my designer wanted. Once I had it all figured out, I put it in bottles. You’ll see why in a sec.

Once the paint mixture was finalized and tested to the designer’s liking, I was simultaneously figuring out how to make this process as simple as possible for a bunch of first year students to work on. A lot of the students were actors looking to fulfill their one semester requirement of a tech class. And stagecraft is an easy twice a week lecture and 2 hours of studio a week. So a lot of them haven’t taken an art class in a while. 

So I made it a giant paint by number. 

I spent about two days redrafting the piece in scale and printed it on the plotter (which has a max width of 2′6″) and lined it up. We laid the plexi on top and traced the lines with black caulk (easily available at your local hardware store). We let the caulk dry overnight. 

In reality, the caulk doesnt need overnight to dry. It really needs like... 4 hrs to be workable. However, if for whatever reason it is not set properly, the color will bleed underneath it- and we don’t want that!

Before we can color, we have to make sure the surface we are working on is perfectly level. I came by with my yardstick level and checked before they started and made slight adjustments by propping parts of the glass up. 

If the surface is not level, the paint will run and pool unevenly, ruining the illusion of stained glass.

Then came coloring. I printed out a big Key and labeled all the paints with numbers. I taught them how to flood as if we were making pancake or cookie art (most of them had seen those on instagram). You start on the outside, outlining, and work your way in. The paint should ooze a bit, so one student was given a variety of toothpicks, brushes, (i discouraged using fingers but some still did) to “smooth” the flood. It is very important that the colors don’t bleed or overflow the black caulk leading. 

Some of the glass had “gradations” in their coloring. I had my skilled painters handle those. It was all about how the paint swirled together and was agitated (poked with a stick) as it was drying. 

The trees were the most difficult and I ended up supervising those. 

Once the piece is done, it is left to dry overnight. And this is where it needs to not be touched. At all. Dont look at it, dont touch it, dont breathe on it, dont think about it. I ended up taking over a far corner of the tiny shop. I pulled the welding guards (no one was welding anymore, it was all assembly for the carp crew at this stage) to block any debri and shield off the area. 

You should monitor the piece as it dries, check every couple of hours to make sure nothing is pooling in strange ways, nothing got stuck to the surface, and nobody moved it. I had keys to places and abused that power, and would wake up in the middle of the night to check on them. Don’t tell my professors. 

This image above is a partially dry one. 

Once everything was dry and moveable, I handed them to my Technical Director and said they are ready for install. And after a nail biter of watching them precariously dangle in the air to their new home...they were in!

And the show went up! I felt so relieved when I finally got to see the glass lit up, I made sure I got gifts for my fellow students and went a little wild at the tech party on opening night. 

Feel free to ask questions about this process! Asks are open! If yall want an at home tutorial, I can make that happen in the new year.

[terminally-karkalicious]

allow me to rant about the only thing that has been in my brain for the past two months and that is doll customizing babeyyyyy

i know there’s a 90% chance that you wont give a Shit about any of this but here we go anyways

SO first you gotta choose a doll. preferably one with a high range of motion to avoid creating new joints or having annoying limitations like not having elbow joints for some fucking reason. what the fuck mattel. give monster high dolls back their ball jointed shoulders and elbow joints. smh

the most common dolls ive seen used as bases are monster high and ever after high. most customs ive seen are highly stylized so the stylized face molds work well for those types of dolls but dolls like barbies are good for when you want a more realistic face-ups.

once you’ve got your base picked out you gotta wipe that bitch’s face off with like. acetone or nail polish remover or something strong like that. you can also use acetone to shrink doll heads which is cool as hell imo. n e way once the face is wiped you gotta chop off the hair and remove the hair plugs from the inside. ive seen this done several ways but the easiest and most common way ive seen is to dunk the head into boiling water for ~30 seconds until it gets squishy and malleable. once you’ve got the head back, you can use pliers (i think tweezers would work in a pinch) to pull out the hair plugs which are kinda icky because theyre covered in glue and other gross shit. ew

now you must decapitate the doll. dunk em back in the boiling water to soften them back up then just tug the head off. the neck pegs look funky and are usually a different color than the body so thats cool ig

once the head’s off, you can start the face-up which is basically just giving the doll a new face using stuff like watercolor pencils, acrylic paint, gouache, and a whole lot of other stuff. hell ive seen people use person makeup on these dolls.

next,,,,, hair. there’s about twenty million ways to do hair from gluing yarn wefts to sewing to rerooting with purchased nylon doll hair or yarn wefts but i’m gonna talk about the most common one ive seen which is rerooting and gluing.

before you can reroot, you need doll hair. which, as i mentioned, can be bought at stores like the doll planet or made at home with yarn in literally any color. have fun with it! make rainbow hair or something idk

to make homemade wefts, you take some acrylic yarn, cut it twice as long as you want the hair to be (keep in mind you can cut and style the hair once it’s been rerooted), fold them in half, and tie it to something sturdy like a wire coat hanger for the next step.

once you’ve got your yarn tied to your hanger, use a pet brush and brush the yarn until it’s wispy and looks like hair. then take a straightening iron and iron the weft flat. then remove from the hanger and boom. hair wefts. ta-da

to reroot the wefts onto the head, use a rerooting tool (which can be as simple as a needle with the eye cut at angle) (just google it please i’m shit at descriptions)) to poke small sections of the hair into the head. you can use the pre-existing rooting holes for your own reroot as they’re usually pretty reliable. to reroot, take a small length of you doll hair (about 10-15 strands), loop it in half, and put the middle of the loop into the reroot tool. poke the end of the tool with the hair on it into the pre-existing hole and remove the tool. the hair *should* stay in and fill up that plug!! also remember to plug thickly at the hairline and part of the hair where it's most noticeable. it doesnt matter as much in the center of the head as that’s not usually visible on the doll. once you’ve rerooted, squeeze in strong glue through the neck hole and squish around the head to make sure it covers all the plugs and secures them in place. then pour hot water onto the head to make the hair lay flat for styling later.

also, you can reroot yarn directly into the head to make thicker, more textured hairstyles. and since the yarn is thicker, you dont need to glue the inside of the head for the hair to stay in place!!

if youre not doing body modifications (which are also cool as hell) then it’s time for clothes but clothes are boring and i like body mods more so i’m gonna rant about them instead

the material ive seen most doll artists use is apoxie sculpt, which is like play doh on steroids. it comes in two parts which you gotta mix together for some reason. why dont they sell it pre-mixed. what was the reason. also once it’s dry it’s super super strong and you can sand it, drill into it, paint it, and all kinds of stuff. very nice and i want some for myself.

you can use hand saws and drills and shit to whack off doll limbs to make stuff like digitigrade legs or new joints. also dont be afraid to use other mismatching doll parts when customizing like heads and bodies and forearms and hands and shit. it literally does not matter if youre gonna recolor the doll anyways so have fun with it. make frankenstein’s doll if youre feeling spicy

accessories my beloved. stuff like tiny beads and clay baubles and shit will literally transform the entire doll plus they’re adorable and multi-purpose

i suppose i must talk about clothes now. ah well. you can find great clothing patterns if youre new to customizing on other customizer’s etsy shops and probably google although those will probably be lower quality than paid pattern pieces. and keep in mind that if it exists as clothing irl, you can likely make it doll-sized. there are literally no limits to your clothing options as long as you can execute your idea.

the once all your components have been made, you can assemble the doll again!! and finally see what all the parts look like together!! very cool 10/10 stars.

ight that wraps up my doll rant. i could really go into more detail on certain parts but thats a whole other rant for a whole other day smh. sorry for fucking flooding your inbox ender ahaha……………. you asked for this

little did you know that dolls have been one of my favorite things since like ever. if i can read a 25 chapter long fanfic i can read this B)

mattel definitely fucked up by completely ruining MH doll designs and just stopping EAH, alot of their profits most likely came from people who collect and customize dolls and by changing MH doll designs/Stopping EAH dolls they 1. most likely lost a small (or big if we're not jus talking people who customize dolls) part of their profit and 2. made it harder for doll customizers to make dolls/get commissions out rather quickly because they probably have to waste more time making joints or learning how to make joints.

EAH/MH dolls (specifically MH dolls) had AMAZING MODELS because there was so much variety with height, face shapes, etc (my favorite molds had to be the short/tall dolls and the cat molds because of the tails) and doll customizers really went all out with enhancing a molds unique features. The only "downside" abt MH dolls is that they (or atleast most)(from what i remember)) had slimmer faces but wider eyes while EAH dolls have wider faces with slimmer smaller which left a canvas for the face and not the eyes (and vice versa for MH dolls)

I've never seen any videos where a barbie is customized (maybe because i absolutely despised barbies at the time) so I'll definitely have to check those out but they seem to be good for realistic makeovers. I've seen like like semi realistic makeovers for EAH/MH dolls that were pretty good too tho (pretty sure mostly EAH dolls since yk MH dolls were used for creature makeovers while most EAH dolls weren't)

yeah i was always amazed by the head shrinking with acetone. honestly i still am?? idunno i have no idea how that chemical bullshit works. Ive seen a few of uh makeovers that just pain over the face (in multiple layers ofcourse) but that's usually when they're painting the entire body a different colour (again usually when they're turning a doll into a funky little baby man). I've also seen a few that just chop the hair off and take out the hair plugs yk without uuh like softening the head or just go straight for the hair plugs after taking off the head (i used to do that it was funny to me??). i always really liked when they used watercolour pencils or just colour pencils in general to draw/sketch on the face cause like wow ur drawing on ur doll without ruining it?? kinda epic maybe even poggers and pogchamp?? oh god my brain is failing wjshsmsj.

Watching them putting the hair back on the doll was, other than the face stuff, was the BEST part for me. Favorite type of hair was iuuuuuh was either thick yarn or brushed out yarn. Literally worship the people that would reroot the hair, theyre the most patience people on this earth!! it's literally insane but i guess that's what happens when you've been doing that for years? you guess kinda get used to it. when they put glue into the head does it just become stiff?? like it's just a clump of dried glue or does it like..hollow out again??

dude you literally cannot convince me most of the supplies used for doll makeovers. APOXIE CLAY LOOKS SO FECKING GOOD. its edible and i will die on that hill. The body mods are literally so amazing!!!!! it's so impressive how theyre able to imagine certain features THEN LIKE ACTUALLY MAKE IT LOOK ACCURATE TO WHAT THEY WANTED TO LOOK LIKE AFTER LIKE ON TRY (or many yk trial and error is very necessary for..everything). Absolutely loved when doll customizers would saw off a dolls legs and use different ones or just completely get rid of the torso to use a different one. it's like uuh that one big guy that's mismatched and sewn together. very cool. The accessories are so fun!! just small little details you seen really need but can add because it's your feckin doll!! I used to be absolutely obsessed over the doll clothes i would find on etsy, so much so that i started sewing shitty shirts and dresses for my uh "customized" dolls (they were absolute HORRORS idk WHY my mom let me feck up my dolls like that).

Thank you for this!! i haven't been able to talk about any of my interests for a while and this just really made me happy!!

Question fer u my fellow MH/EAH enthusiast: what was your favorite MH/EAH movie/episode and doll series. Mine was The fusion dolls (MH obvi) and that MH movie "Haunted" cause we got to know more about Spectra :D

[buttercupwriter7]

Family Christmas Party - t.h.

You know how sometimes when you’re just so excited, ready for the next day to begin, that you can’t sleep?

Today was one of those days. I went to bed early to make sure I got enough rest for the next day. It was currently 6 am and I’d already been up for two hours, unable to sleep more. Just too excited. Today was my family Christmas party. I always love these parties but this years was bound to be the greatest of them all. Usually it’s my family, grandma, aunts and uncles, sometimes a couple of cousins. Most of the cousins are hard to get everyone together at once. 

I laid in bed, trying to go back to sleep but failing miserably. Pulling out my phone I send out a quick message to Tom. He’s coming this year and that’s one of the reasons why I’m so excited. It’s my first year with a boy to bring to meet the family at holiday time. We got so lucky that he had a break from filming the newest Spider-Man movie and it was conveniently near the Christmas Party. 

“Hey, you excited for today?” I send him. 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, what should I wear?” He sends back.

I laugh, “anything, you’ll look great no matter what ;)”

Tom replied, “haha hey that’s my line, can’t wait to see you. 4 right?”

“Yep! See you soon,” I send to him. 

I force myself out of bed and get dressed. I head upstairs and find myself surprised that no one else it awake yet. I cut up fruit for the fair salad, decorate some cookies and pull out the Christmas dishes.

After an hour of setting up alone, my mom and aunt come out to help. We decorated more cookies, prepared the food for dinner and set up some cute decorations.

“Is Tom still coming?” My aunt asks smiling.

“Yes, he’ll be here at 4!”

“Ohhhh, I can’t wait to meet him!” She exclaims. My family have heard about Tom, mostly from me. But they also know he’s an actor so they’ve seen him on social media here and there.

We finished decorating the kitchen and living room and I head down to shower and change for the party. I look at my phone and notice it’s already 2. I jump in the shower quick and get dressed in my black and red striped sweater with my dark skinny jeans, Christmas socks showing proudly. I dried my hair and curled it slightly.

By the time I was done it was already 3:45 and people were starting to show up. One of my cousins Max was the first one there, I greeted them when I come upstairs and he was excited to see me. 

“Y/N! I’m so glad you came!” He joked, I laughed and punched his arm.

“No! I want to thank you for intruding in on my house,” I joked back and I said hi to his kids who went straight for the presents under the tree.

“No, wait! Those are for after dinner!” Max yelled after them.

They looked sad and Max looked over to me, still talking to them, ��Y/N’s boyfriend will be here soon. Come hang out with her before he gets here!”

The kids ran over and I held them both, “my gosh! You guys have gotten so big! You hungry?”

They both nodded and we ate snacks and sat at the table.

“I’ve got a gingerbread house, do you guys wants to decorate it with my?”

“Yeah!” Both Josh and Emma said at the same time.

I broke out the kit and used the frosting to glue the house together. As soon as it was dried, the kids set to decorate it. Josh decorated his side with blue candies and green gumdrops. Emma decorated her side with pink sugar balls, Christmas trees and TONS of frosting on the roof.

As soon as they were done decorating I put the house up on the counter to dry.

The kids grabbed more snacks and ran back into the living room by the rest of the family.

I watched the clock carefully, watching as more and more family came in through the door. But still no Tom.

It was now almost 5 and almost everyone had arrived, Tom was still MIA.

I kept my seat at the table, making conversation with family but still watching the window for that black Audi. It was a gift from Robert Downey Jr, tricked out with Spider-Man seats and everything.

Max walked over and grabbed my shoulder, “don’t worry, he’ll show. And if he doesn’t, I’ll kick his butt.”

I smiled, “Thanks Max.” The kids ran over and pulled me into the living room with everyone else. They’re all sitting around talking, snacking and wine sipping. The amount of gifts around the tree grew tremendously. I know that they’re all for the little kids, but I still have hopes that there’s a little something in there for me.

The doorbell rang, but I didn’t hear it. I was busy having an arm wrestling contest with Max. Apparently everyone else heard it though because it got real quiet. Max let me win our battle and we laughed before stopping, noticing no one else was making a noise.

“Who is that?” Aunt Mandy asked, trying to think of who else wasn't there already.  I stood up and headed to the door. I didn't see that Audi I loved so much and my hopes deflated. Opening the door, changed my mind. Tom was standing there, with a bouquet of roses, a full trash bag, cookies and flour in his hair.

I covered my mouth, laughing at his appearance.

“Wanna help me in?” He asked with that smirk of his.

I nodded, laughing again. “Come on in, Santa Tommy.”

This time he laughed, I grabbed the flowers and trash bag.

“What’s in here??” I asked about the bag.

“Presents,” he smiled at me.

He put his goodies and I went to hug him. We hugged and then he kissed me. 

“You’re late,” I scolded him lightly.

“I was baking....and almost burnt the house down.” He said getting quiet.

“Geez! I thought it taught you how to use the oven,” I giggled and he shrugged.

“I don’t know what went wrong, but I brought flowers for you, to make up for being late.”

“You've got flour in your hair,” I brushed his hair out of his face. “And I love the roses, thank you.”

He brushed more flour out of his hair and I grabbed a vase for the flowers. We made out way out to the kitchen where everyone was staring at us.

“Everyone, this is Tom. Tom, this is my family.” I said. I could introduce them all individually.

Tom waved a little and smiled that smile that makes me the happiest.

Everyone went back to their conversations.

I helped him put out the cookies and we walked into family room holding hands, his other hand holding the full garbage bag.

“What’s that?” Josh asked.

Tom smiled, “presents. I’m Tom.”

He shook Josh’s hand and it was adorable how cute he was with my little cousins.

Tom dumped the gifts out of the bag, right near the fireplace. There was almost no room for them.

I slowly introduced Tom to everyone as we made the rounds.

Tom ended up over talking to my uncle John and I went back to sit down by the kids. Max poked my shoulder and I turned around, “what's up?”

“He seems nice,” he said.

I nodded looking back at Tom, “he is. He’s a good one.”

“He better be better than good. You’re the best which means he needs to be equivalent to that, otherwise unworthy.” He said seriously but laughed a little.

“You should talk to him, he’s really smart. Maybe if you ask nice he’ll give you some Marvel secrets,” I say, nudging him.

Max apparently didn't want to wait. He shouted across the room, “hey Tom!”

Tom turned right away, looking like the was waiting to be saved. “Yeah?” 

“Y/N says you like to share Marvel secrets?” Max asks. He’s such a good, he knows who Tom is and his past with accidentally giving out spoilers.

Tom laughed, “Yeah apparently I do.” 

Max leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms, “tell me what happens in the new Spider-Man movie, tweeny bop.”

Tom laughed and ran a hand through his perfect hair, he didn’t want to be the focus of this family Christmas party. He looked at me and shook his head, “if I could I would man. If I spoil another movie I’ll be worse than Ruffalo.”

“But I do have something you might enjoy in place of trade secrets.” He looked to me for confirmation but I was confused. Did he forget to bring something? He jumped up, grabbing my hand as he ran out to get his shoes.

“Tom!” I yelped, almost tripping over everything we passed.

We got into the hallway and he pulled me in for a quick yet deep kiss.

“What was that for?” I asked breathless.

He rested his forehead on mine for a minute before looking into my eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said back, I’d never meant anything more in my life. Between the way he interacted with my family and was dedicated to me, I knew he was the one.

“What’re we doing?” I asked him.

“Right,” he said blinking, he ran out to his car and came back within 30 seconds.

“That was fast,” I commented.

“It is freezing out there.”

“What’ve you got??” I asked again and again he ignored me. It looked like another garbage bag.

We came back into the living room, he sat with his back to the fire and me next to him, holding Josh.

“Since I knew I would be asked for secrets, per usual, and I cannot give any out, I’ve got these instead. Hopefully they make up for it.”

He reached into the bag and pulled out some Spider-Man memorabilia including posters, toys and costumes for the little kids, all signed of course.

Wow, I thought to myself, this was beyond dedication. 

Max’s eyes lit up and he thought it was the coolest thing, “I’ll take one of each.”

No matter the age, everyone loves free things. And they love free things even more if they are from one of their favorite movies.

Tom laughed and handed him the bag so he could take his pick.

Shortly after he finished showing off some of the souvenirs he brought, my mom announced dinner. We all got up and grabbed food from the kitchen, searching for a place to sit. We found space to eat downstairs where it was a little more quiet.

We started eating in silence, hearing the soft music and conversations going on above us.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I say taking a drink of my pop.

“Me too, I’m sorry I was so late. Robert called me while I was at the store getting groceries for the cookies and I was too loud and some girls recognized me so I had to stop and take pictures. So that took longer. And there is a LOT of snow here and it’s still snowing and hard to see while driving. Then the cookies went terribly wrong and I just...”

“It’s okay Tom, I was just worried....that you weren’t going to come. Maybe something more important came up and....I don’t know,” I shrugged, feeling guilty now that I’ve actually spoken my mind. It’s not that I was worried hew aunt going to show, just more that he was going to decide something was bigger and better than his girlfriend’s family holiday party.

“Hey, I’m sorry I was late, but I just need you to know this. I would not have missed this for the world. You’re my favorite person and I don’t ever want you to think that I would blow you off,” Tom smiles hugging me.

I smile back and place my empty plate on the table, “You’re the best.”

“I know,” Tom shrugs with a laugh.

We play a couple of very competitive rounds of foosball, which I won. Tom fake pouted for a while before we headed back upstairs to join the rest of the party.

Tom grabbed a cookie and we made out way into the living room. My mom was FaceTiming with Jeremy, my other cousin and Max’s older brother, who was coming in tomorrow, delayed by work and the snow. “Hey Y/N! Jeremy’s on the phone, here!” She passed her phone to me.

“Great!” I grabbed the phone and looked at his scruffy, bearded face. “Hi Jeremy, we miss you!”

Tom jumped up to grab another cookie while I spoke with my cousin.

“I know! I’m great! I’ll be there tomorrow to hang out with you guys, so don’t have too much fun yet. The weather totally sucks up here,” he laughed at himself.

I rolled my eyes, “yeah, yeah, don't remind me. Just drive safe when you guys are coming up! Also tell Jessica she’s my favorite!” I complimented his soon-to-be wife because she’s awesome.

He fake gasped, looking hurt by my comment.

Tom walked back over to me, three cookies in his hand. He sat down next to me, arm around my shoulders.

“Uh....Y/N,” Jeremy says.

“Yes Jeremy?”

“Who is that boy and why does he have his arm around you?”

I laughed turning the phone over to Tom’s reddening face, “my boyfriend Tom.”

Tom waved and said hello.

Jeremy’s smile dropped, “Hello. Give me a minute with the kid.”

Tom looked nervous. “Sure thing.”

I shot him a thumbs up before he walked away with the phone in his hand.

I look over to Max who is smirking at me and the kids. They couldn't wait any longer and began shaking all of the gifts.

“What are you laughing at?” I shot at him.

He laughed more, “if you wanted to keep that boy of yours, you wouldn’t gave handed him over to Jeremy.

I roll me eyes, “I have faith in BOTH of them. I’m not too worried. Besides, Jeremy will be here tomorrow so I can beat him up then if I have to.” Max laughed again, “I’d pay to see that.”

Tom then came back into the room, handing the phone off to my mom.

“How’d it go?” I asked him as he sat back down next to me.

He wiped his hands on his pants, “I’ve never been so nervous in my life. Not even when I met RDJ. Oh my god.”

It was my turn to laugh this time, “Oh sweetie, you’re okay. Jeremy will be here tomorrow so I can talk to him for you if you’d like.”

Tom’s cheeks turned red, “No, it’s okay. I’ll get over my feat of him before then. Hopefully. Maybe.”

I then got a text adn I looked at it, it said it was from Jeremy and it read, “he’s a good one. keep him. see you tomorrow.”

I smiled, my family plus Tom made for the best celebrations of all time.

The kids then opened gifts, the adults played white elephant and craziness ensued. Most of the family left shortly after gifts and dessert. But for the who were left, we played Christmas movies. Elf was first and then we began watching Home Alone.

Tom looked to be getting tired so I grabbed his hand and ushered him off of the couch. I brought him downstairs and brought him to his overnight accommodations, the couch. I kissed him and watched him collapse onto his bed, already passed out. I went back upstairs to say goodnight to the rest of the family and goodbye to those not staying for tomorrow. I headed back downstairs to rest up for the next day.

The next day we were doing family brunch for those who were in town longer than just a day.

I woke up, having slept in til 8:30. Getting dressed and heading down the hallway. I passed by the living room and saw no Tom on the couch. Confused I went upstairs and could head hushed whispers. As I walked in I saw them. Tom sitting on the couch with Max and Jeremy, Josh on his lap. They seemed to be in an intense, hushed conversation about being the scenes of the Spider-Man movies. None of them even noticed I had come upstairs until Finn saw me and ran over, jumping into my arms with a huge hug.

“Good morning,” he smiled at me with that cute toothless, 6 year old smile.

“Hi Josh,” I smiled back.

“Uncle Jeremy is here and he’s being nice to your boyfriend,” he laughed as he spoke to me.

I giggled back, “well I hope he’s being nice. Otherwise I’ve gotta kick his butt!”

“Yeah!” Josh quietly shouted.

I put him down and went over and hugged Jeremy, “when did you guys get here?”

“’Bout an hour ago, didn't hit as much traffic as we thought. We’re staying over at Anne’s, Jessica is showering then coming over to eat.” He said, hugging me back.

“Great! We’re so excited for your wedding, I expect a full on party.” I said sharing my excitement. Jeremy was the last kid in his family to get married and he is so much fun that we’re all expecting an unforgettable wedding. 

“It’s going to be rad, I really hope you bring your boy here. He’s pretty cool.” Jeremy said, nudging my side. I’m so glad that my family loves Tom as much as I love him and he loves them. They just love that I’m happy and have someone so special to share things with. And it means so much to me that my family, who can sometimes be a little too honest and judgmental, love Tom after just a day of knowing him.

I looked back over at Tom who was once again having an intense conversation with Max, most likely about another Marvel film.

I nodded, “hopefully he has time off, I’d love to bring him with.”

We sat down with the other boys and joined in on their conversation. It only lasted about a half an hour before everyone else was awake and we began prepping for brunch. We all ate and hung out more, playing Pictionary and What Do You Meme.

Tom was excited to be spending so much time with me and my family around the holidays since he was away from his own. He didn’t have enough time off to fly back to London and visit his own family, so he was glad to be able to spend it with someone’s family. 

You sat at the table, after the most recent game of Pictionary and your team had won. There were many conversations happening and you looked over and saw Tom looking at you longingly. You tipped your head over to the other room and he followed you. You grabbed his hand and lead him downstairs. The two of you sat on the couch facing each other.

Tom leaned in and kissed you, long and passionately. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve been right here with you all day, English.” I say back at him, in between kisses.

I pulled away eventually to take a breath and he smiled at me, the sweetest smile. 

“Are you having fun?” I asked him, playing with his hand. 

Tom nodded at me, “I am, I’m so lucky to have you.”

I blushed and scooted closer to him, “I’m lucky to have you. I’m lucky to be a part of your superhero life, to be able to call you mine. You’re mine.”

He kissed me once again, this time sweet and lovingly. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Tom.”

I love you too

FIN

-----------

Hey guys! This is my first official fic and I hope you like it! I think I’ll maybe do a second part where they couple attends the cousin’s wedding. What do you guys think? Also I’m new to writing for people but I’d love to do some requests! Let me know what you guys wanna see :D

- KK

[findingthewaytohoseoksheart]

Crabs - Part Two

(Part 1)

Part 2 of my Crabs series

He couldn't be there with you on White Day. He couldn't shower you in chocolates and white roses. So he came up with a plan B. He made you a video.

Fluff/Established Relationship

Apologise for all the things of hers you've broken in the last year.

A sputtered laugh was pulled from his lips, a large palm coming up to cover his open mouthed smile as Jimin giggled, Jungkook poking his side and telling him to sush as he nodded towards his hyung, prompting him to start talking.

Namjoon took in one deep breath, looking upwards towards the pale white ceiling, digging back into his cranium for the perfect memory. His eyes lit up, his lips puckered it an excited ‘O’ as he bounced softly in his seat and began his story.

“I haven't really broken all that much lately. I break all my own stuff mostly, but...remember when we were making poetry? I made her this bowl and painted it white with our initials on the sides…”

He was gesturing again, hands coming up to carve a bowl shape out in the air, fingertips tracing those initials on the sides as his brothers nodded along. Jungkook zoomed in, capturing his smile as he looked down at his imaginary bowl, fond memories flooding his mind.

“... it was on her bedside table. She was using it to keep her rings and bracelets in when she went to bed and one night I stayed over and she was cold so I got up to get another blanket and as I was turning the light on I knocked it off and onto the corner of the bed frame-bam!”

He held his invisible bowl between his palms, dramatically splitting them to either side as he broke it in half with a hushed chuckle and regretful smile.

“It split in half, perfectly between our initials, and was just laying on the floor staring up at me. I kept apologizing but she was more concerned about me accidentally cutting my feet on any shards so she told me to stay in bed as she leaped over it and put on her slippers. She picked up all the pieces and handed me the vacuum to clean up. Then she disappeared...somewhere into the apartment…”

Jungkook was leaning forward, mouth slightly agape as he listened to his hyung speak, hanging on every word. He remembered the pottery, remembered how much care Namjoon had taken to get the bowl as symmetrical as possible, how he had asked the teacher for advice, asked for help on how to get it just right so that there would be no chance it could be destroyed by the kiln. He had checked for hairline cracks when it had come out, checked every inch before and after glazing it and painting it to ensure it was strong, intact. He was so scared of breaking it back at the dorm that he had asked Jin-hyung to carry it home and to keep it in his room until next time you managed come around with handfuls of food and dvds. He cared about that poetry more than he cared about anything else he made that day. For that to break, and by his own hand...Jungkook could only imagine the guilt that had riddled his heart in that moment.

“I found her in the laundry, she was holding super glue and this gold leaf paper. She had glued the two pieces back together and was flattening all this leaking glue with a paint brush so this gold leaf could stick to the seam. I was so confused but she spotted me hovering in the doorway. My heart felt heavy, I thought she was going to be mad but she just...smiled. I came up behind her and hugged her, apologizing over and over again. But she was still just smiling…”

His eyes were unfocused, just staring into the abyss in front of him, the memory a video image in front of his eyes. Your soft features, messy hair, slippered feet and body swamped in his silk Ryan pajamas. Your bright smile, leaning in to kiss the fat of his cheek as you held the poetry together, waiting for it to dry enough so you could leave it overnight without fear of the two pieces slipping apart.

“She asked if I had ever heard of Kintsugi. I said no. She said ‘It's a Japanese technique of repairing broken poetry by mending the seams with gold. Just because the piece was broken doesn't mean it's not beautiful anymore. If anything the cracks and breaks make it more beautiful. The imperfections reminding us that it has experienced life. Art is not stagnant, it lives just as we do. Scars and stretch marks, freckles and moles. That's is our cracks. Why hide them when we can celebrate them. You didn't ruin my gift, you improved it’...the cracking ran right through our initials. When I saw it on the floor I was terrified it was an omen. But...she repaired it with gold. This simmering vien running between us. The omen was suddenly turned into this symbol of luck, of strength. As if we could never be broken now, that we had become closer than ever, stronger than ever. It was a blessing in disguise”

His cheeks flushed. He looked down, hands rolling the hem of his shirt as he collected his thoughts. He remembered his stomach going from a deep dark sinking into a fluttering of butterflies as you talked. He remembered his heart pounding, growing in size as he felt like crying, a rush of emotion forcing his face into the crook of your neck, pressing soft kisses to the chilled flesh he found there, squeezing your waist tight and pulling you against his body. He was thankful for you in that moment, grateful. You turned disaster into magic in a way he didn't think was possible.

He sighed, shaking his head with a soft smile. He looked into the lense of the camera, face determined as he finished his answer.

“so...I'm sorry baby, I promise I'll try not to break anything you own this year. But if I do, please repair it with gold”

Jimin laughed, high pitched and squeaky, hand coming up to slap the muscle of Jungkook’s spread thighs. He got a slap on the should in return. Namjoon coughed, nodding to the paper as he glanced at the wall clock behind them. It was getting late. Jimin followed his eye line and nodded, looking back to his list.

“Oh! This is a good one…’when did you have your first kiss?’ And underneath it says ‘because I know you lied to us about when you really started dating’”

~

(Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6)

[lasentimentael]

Her Home

From the crack of dawn till the late evening hours, Dolores was always working. She would wake up, kiss Santiago goodbye as he left to wash dishes at the Chinese restaurant a few blocks down, and make breakfast for Raul and Luna so that each tummy would be full and ready for learning. She would pack lunches for her family, walk the kids to the school down the street, come back, and walk Lady the Poodle immediately after. From 8:00 to 2:45 she would sweep, mop, pay bills over the phone, do laundry, then pick up the kids, cook dinner, listen to Santiago express his day’s frustrations, and wipe her counters again for a fresh start the next morning.

           Dolores did not get a break. Raul and Luna, seven and five, took up lots of time, each demanding attention and food and help on homework all while Dolores would peel potatoes and dice tomatoes and cook the chicken thoroughly so her children would not get sick. She would season precisely and evenly, listening to her children talk about what they learned at school, struggling to follow along when their homework instructions used English words she didn’t know. Then, they would be done with that and running around the house, playing and playing while Dolores continued her work.

Some days Santiago would come home a little late, sometimes past 6 and sometimes past 9. Dolores would feel a little guilty for being upset at his tardiness, remembering he said he would pick up extra hours at the restaurant whenever he could. Tired and dry hands would greet hers, the dish water and food stains adorning his plain white shirt, and he would walk slowly past the kitchen into the living room and plop on the couch as Raul and Luna would sprinkle in, yelling, “Papi! Papi!” As her children would talk loudly over each other, eager to spend time with their father who dozed off in front of the television set, Dolores would busy herself in the kitchen, finishing supper or cleaning her counters and reflecting fondly on their one bedroom apartment that she worked so hard to take care of.

The apartment did not stretch out infinitely nor did it have new windows or tiles, but the tiny kitchen with shabby wooden cabinets had charm and the dark brown carpet made it easy to hide spilled drinks and mud tracks. The blinds were broken and some were missing, the tile was cracked and the paint was peeling in many spots of the ceiling because of water damage. She, her husband, and her children made the most of the bedroom space and squeezed a small bunk bed and queen-sized bed, shoving one bathroom and one closet with what little belongings they had. Occasionally a roach would find its way inside their home and Dolores would squish it. In the hot summer months the ants would get busy and she’d frantically reprimand the children not to leave food out. And every so often, a mouse would try to hop through the various cracks and holes of apartment #A on the ground floor of 297 Alpine St. before she’d set out traps to kill the squeak. Yes, it was not much, and it was not perfect, but it was theirs.

“Niños, por favor,” Dolores said one morning. It was mid-November and Los Angeles had finally begun to feel cold. Dolores had pulled out thick animal-print blankets that would keep them all warm at night, and now was attempting to get a hoodie through poor Luna’s head while her brother made faces and poked his unsuspecting sister, giggling as she shrieked in surprise. It was 7:16 on a Monday morning, and Chinatown was already awake. The honks were loud on Alpine St., and she thought to herself, if I close my eyes I can see an angry, impatient business man on the corner of Hill almost running over a middle aged mother and her two munchkins. But they were at the door of the apartment, and she was trying to get the kids out of the house so they would not be late. Only Raul and Luna were too busy being superheroes now.

“Mami! Ma! Look at me, I’m Superman!” Raul had half taken off his red sweater so now the sleeves were tied and the rest draped along his skinny body like a cape. He posed with his bony brown fist in the air just long enough for Dolores to see, and then he was off chasing Luna who had only just gotten her hoodie on. Dolores let the kids be kids, grabbing keys and her own sweater. She closed the door, never once sparing a glance at the disheveled, thirty-four year old woman the mirror at the end of the hall would show.

When she had dropped the kids off and walked Lady the Poodle, she came back to find a mouse trying to hop through the gap underneath the front metal screen door. This mouse zoomed out of sight the moment it saw her. Dolores quickly went inside, and began her routine. Based on eleven years she’d lived there, she knew better than to be unprepared. More than anything, she was disgusted and a little angry that they continued to be there in spite of all her cleaning, she thought they were gone. She set a trap out by the front door where she had first seen it, two at the foot of the couch, and one more underneath the stove. She put Lady the Poodle in the bedroom and locked the door behind her, and she could hear Lady whine and paw at the door. She ignored it. The little one would be caught in an hour or so.

At noon, Dolores decided to sew a missing button onto her husband’s only coat, a task that had been on her mind since February, when the button first popped off. As she worked on the couch, she remembered her life before her children, when Santiago worked less and would call her during his lunch break, of a life when he didn’t come home late even though the restaurant closed at 8 and his shift usually ended at 6, but no, she thought, I mustn’t overthink that, he said he was working extra hours. Never mind Rubí with the coquette eyes who waitressed at the restaurant. She looked around the living room, and she thought of all the times her children had playtime in makeshift blanket forts in that same room and sneaking away for a quickie with her husband once upon a time. She remembered when they were younger— he would take her out on the weekends, they’d go dancing to the salsa clubs and end up in the bed with clothes strewn across the floor and a million I love you’s in her ear.

           It was 1:10 when Dolores heard Lady bark from the bedroom and the front door unlock. She froze, afraid to turn around, ears straining for any other sounds. Almost immediately, the heavy boots she heard made her sigh in relief, and she turned around, confused, but happy. Santiago could be heard cursing “hijo de su puta ma-“ before the door closed, and his tall, bulky frame came striding through the hallway and into the living room.

           “Dolores, que pasó?” he said, tenor voice weary.

           “Viejo! Why are you back so early? Did something happen?”

           “It was too slow today. New management is impatient, and they only needed one dishwasher. The younger Santiago stayed. Fine by me. My hands need the break. Why are there so many traps out? Where is Lady?” Santiago’s Spanish was crisp as he pointed to the two traps he could see underneath the couch and his brows furrowed.

           “It’s okay, I only saw one. Lady is in the bedroom.”

           “Just one.”            “Yes, one.”

           “Last year we saw one, and it turned out to be two.”

           “Yes, Viejo, but I only saw one.”

           “Hijo de su puta madre, why are they here?”. Santiago went from the living room to the kitchen, through the hallway until he ended where he first stood, a convenient feature of the apartment’s tight layout that did little to separate each area from the next.

           “Just relax, Viejo, did you eat your lunch already? Should I heat it up?” Dolores stood up at once, leaving the coat on the couch and gesturing her husband to sit down.

           “I left the container in the car, it’s empty.” Santiago went off to get the container, outside. Dolores rubbed her eyes and briefly thought how it would be nice to not pick up the kids today, if Santiago went instead, for once.

When Dolores opened her eyes, she saw it. The thing was standing at the foot of the couch, right next to the glue trap as if it was not there at all. She held her breath. Its ears flattened against its head, nose wiggling and beady eyes looking all around. There it was! Small pink hands held each other as it took in its surroundings, before another crawled out from underneath the couch. Dolores watched in horror. Two!

Santiago then came in, door slammed shut, and a ruckus in the kitchen confirmed the used Tupperware was in the sink.      

“Shh!” Dolores waved her arms frantically, trying to quiet her husband.

Santiago, finally noticing Dolores, became stealthy at once and tiptoed closer to the living room, leaning on the counter to try and see the mice, which had now scurried back under the couch.

           From Dolores’ position, she could see the tails still poking out. She mimed this at her husband, who went to the kitchen to grab gloves and a plastic bag. Dolores was only panicking a little as the furry bodies scooted out once again and a third accompanied them this time. Three!

           “Hijo de su-“ And the mice went back underneath.

           Dolores shook her head, and desperately, silently pleaded with her husband to shut his mouth.  This time, Santiago and his big heavy-duty boots went back through the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the living room until he was right next to Dolores, who he now gestured to move towards the other side of the couch, right where the little heads had first poked out. He handed the traps that belonged to the stove and front door, as well as a broom for protection. He had his own broom in his hand and the look of a lion—curly, slightly peppered hair, frizzy and puffed out like a mane. Dolores mostly followed her husband’s cue, only settling behind the small coffee table that conveniently provided a bit of distance from the couch. For protection.

           They stood there, each guarding their post for a whole ten minutes before Santiago grew tired and wanted to take a break. Dolores shook her head, disappointed she had married a grandpa, although Santiago’s handsome face at the age of forty was anything but. So they coordinated again, this time adding old pieces of cardboard they found lying around and trying not sound off a barking Lady in the room next door. They set up the cardboard to block the back of the couch and the sides, so there was only one exit, right where Dolores was. They waited.

           “I’m tired.”

           “I’m not doing this by myself.”

           “Let’s just leave them, they’re kind of cute anyways.”            “You’ve got to be kidding me. Three!”

           “C’mon, Raul and Luna like them.”

           “Estás loco.”

           “We can name them.”

           Dolores didn’t even bother to reply. She glanced at the clock, 1:43. This needed to be over and done with. She had things to do. She was a busy woman.

           A long, brown body inched out, wiggly nose and all, followed by the three little gray ones that had come out before. The brown mouse, which looked like something had nicked its’ ear, bumped noses with the other three, before the tiniest of the grays went real fast from the foot of the couch closest to Dolores to the coffee table. Dolores couldn’t help but scream and the others went back under the couch. Four!

           “Now you shush,” Santiago retaliated, laughter bouncing off the walls of the living room and provoking a bark from Lady in the background.

Dolores drew herself up, and grabbed her broom a little more tightly. “Shut up.”

Santiago continued laughing and Dolores focused on couch, and the brown mouse that was still underneath the coffee table. It wasn’t long before a brave little gray one joined that one. Their noses bumped and the tinier one squeaked. Dolores cringed. They were communicating.

           Santiago and Dolores had cornered them, yes, but these mice were smart. The two that were still underneath the couch would poke out their heads, waddle around the traps before seeing Dolores and her broom and running back for cover. It continued like this for fifteen minutes until Dolores realized that she and Santiago had been so focused on the couch, that they had not noticed three more bodies underneath the coffee table. Seven!

           Two of three looked identical to the brown one, only neither had their ears nicked. The third of these mice was just as long as the brown ones, but gray like the others and twice as fat. It was the biggest of them all.

           “Seven!” Dolores whispered loudly, wild eyes looking at Santiago.

           Santiago said nothing, and walked away, through the hallway and into the kitchen, digging underneath the sink, and pulling out a stack of glue traps from the cabinets. He was serious.

           In total, they set 24 traps, each one placed right next to the other so that they covered the perimeter of the coffee table, and the space by the foot of the couch, dog food scattered here and there for lure. There was no way to escape.

           The first one fell pretty quickly, a tiny one she hadn’t seen before (or at least, she thought she hadn’t. She wasn’t sure anymore) stepped right onto the glue, squeaking desperately and becoming more stuck the more it struggled. Dolores and Santiago also watched as the second one tried to reach the kibble by walking over the body of the first only to lose its balance and get its face stuck right against the clear glue. More squeaking. It was 2:20.

           “Wow. We should have tried that sooner.” Santiago looked at his successes.

           Dolores, however, stared, and the gray one that had its face glued, stared back with one eye, the squeaking so loud that it made Lady the Poodle begin to bark and whine from inside the bedroom. It was cute. Small round ears and a tiny snout, whiskers that tickled and pink hands that were only looking for food. It was cruel, really.

           She moved to try and get rid of it, but couldn’t, her legs unresponsive. It was a mouse. She had picked them up before. She had picked up the ones last year no problem, Santiago hadn’t even been there when those mice fell for the trap. Dolores had moved quickly that time, swallowing her disgust and leaving no evidence, only a story to relay to Santiago when he came home late that night last year. Sure, Dolores had been angry for weeks, berating her husband for not helping around the house and with the kids and working too much and leaving Dolores alone at home, why did he get home so late again? Never mind that, the mice were dirty and proof she needed to clean more, that was it, she needed to clean and make do because they couldn’t afford to move.

Dolores stared at this mouse, watched it wriggle violently and get more and more stuck just like its brother, and she began to weep. It was innocent and it lived in this apartment as much as she did, had wanted no more than to live comfortably the way she tried to raise her children. It rolled around the same carpet her children ran over, searched through the same cabinets that she stocked and cooked from, and maybe, just maybe, would one day move away from its family across a border to start a new life with another little mouse. This little body did nothing but here she was, ready to kill it, and its’ family, and yet she could do nothing else. This was her home.

           “Oralé, Vieja, why are you crying?” Santiago could not cross over, for the endless glue traps remained in the way, but the concern in his voice was clear. It made her cry more. When was the last time he saw her cry?

           “Vieja, it’s okay. Look, I’ll pick it up okay? Then you won’t see it anymore. Would that make it better?” Dolores did not answer, but her eyes stayed locked on its beady eyes. She stared, breathing heavily and swallowing snot that had built up in her nose and travelled down her throat, as Santiago carefully moved just enough traps to get to the mice and folded the traps so that there was no chance of escape. She could still see its’ eyes as he tossed it in the trash bag.

           “Okay okay, how about we do this. Those five underneath the table haven’t moved, but they’ll have to move eventually, there’s nowhere to go. The couch is surrounded and the cardboard will hold up. It’s 2:25. Let’s pick up the kids together.” Santiago reasoned, taking off his gloves slowly and reaching towards Dolores for an embrace. Her grip on the broom was now loose, and she stood there crying still, looking in many ways, as small as Luna who had cried when her ice cream had fallen from her tiny hands the week before.

           They left. They washed their hands and dropped the brooms and walked all the way to the school with Santiago’s arms around Dolores, in silence. His closeness meant she could smell him as they walked, a faint combination of sweat and body wash. On the way back, Raul and Luna bounced ahead, sweaters tied around their waists, parents trailing behind them holding hands. When they got home, Santiago asked the children to head straight to the room, not wanting them to see the many traps that adorned the living room. Only Santiago and Dolores would see what was waiting for them at 3:07.

           It was more than five. It was more than ten. Dolores stopped counting at sixteen tiny gray bodies, amongst them three long brown ones, with one nicked ear as well. They piled on top of one another, small mounds of mice that had climbed over one another in a hopeless attempt to live. She saw tiny hands chewed off and tails with bite marks, and many, many, many, beady black eyes staring at her.  Santiago did what his wife could not, putting on gloves and tossing every single one of them inside a new white trash bag.

           He picked up all but one of the remaining glue traps, placing it at the foot of the couch, because even without knowing exactly how many they got, neither had seen the nasty gray that was twice as fat as the others.

           It wasn’t until after Santiago had taken out the trash, washed his hands—only after they had furiously and thoroughly cleaned the crime scene—that they let out the kids and Lady the Poodle. Santiago bought McDonalds as a treat for his children and wife. He listened to his kids whine that they were full but ask their mother if they could have her leftover fries, as Dolores nodded slowly, wordlessly. He helped the kids with their homework this time, struggling even more than Dolores usually did, and wiped down the counters like Dolores did even though no one had used the kitchen that day. His wife remained in bed with a momentary break for a shower, and at the end of the night, he crawled in to join her, closing his eyes and breathing in her coconut shampoo.

           “We set out twenty-four traps.”

           “It’s done. It’s over.” Santiago said, beginning to doze off already.

           “The big one is still out there,” Dolores was wide-awake, her face still a little blotchy from the afternoon of crying.

           “Go to sleep.”

           Dolores shifted in the bed, turning to face her husband. His mouth was slightly ajar as if he was going to say something but never did.

There was a pause. “The big one is still out there,” Dolores stared at her husband. Santiago was far-gone now. “Are you cheating on me?”

           Dolores waited a bit, knowing her husband would not respond, and then turned again so that she faced the ceiling. Eventually, Santiago’s arm found its way around her midriff, and she laid there, drifting in and out, the warmth around her tummy not enough to make her forget all the cleaning she would need to do in the morning. She did not rest.