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seospicybin · 1 year ago

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Changbin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle masterlist

Synopsis: You and Changbin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (13,4k words)

Author's note: As always, thank you for following this series. Please enjoy this one too x

Looking at you giggling while cuddling with Javi on the bed is the last thing he wants to see when Changbin wakes up in the morning.

Like, okay, Changbin gets it now, you wanted those kinds of physical affections and he didn't give you that.

He's barely starting the day yet he already sighs this much. It's a little inconvenient that he has to share the bed with Gia, he knows that it's by default but if only you gave him a bit more time he could have talked to you, and he would be giving you those physical affections you want.

Gia senses that inconvenience too but she doesn't have a choice. She ties her hair into a messy bun and looks at him, "You okay?"

Changbin looks back at him and purses his mouth, signifying that he's indeed still upset. Upset is an understatement, he's furious.

"Were there any rule breaks?" Liam asks while looking around the room.

Rita puts down her water tumbler after taking a sip, "I heard some noises from over here," she says, pointing to the two beds occupied by Gareth and Jax and the other one by you and Javi.

His heart skips a beat because what if you did a rule break with him? Would that mean he should give you up? His heart aches just from thinking about it.

And for the first time, Changbin stops worrying about the money.

CHANGBIN: Looking at them... [sighs] It feels like what she and I have had just meant nothing to her.

Working out usually helps to take his mind off things but it's hard when he's living in the villa with you and he can see you everywhere he looks, there's no way of avoiding it.

Changbin can only try to act cool about it even though he's suffering inside, watching you swimming with Javi from afar.

Liam chuckles seeing Changbin with his eyes like a hawk, "So what is exactly going on, Bin?"

He immediately looks away and reclines on his lounger, he considers not telling him but Liam seems trustworthy, he's the closest to him after all.

"Honestly, I came here just trying to follow the rules and not lose money and it somehow... it just backfired," his mouth gets sour from admitting his fault.

Liam rubs his oiled chest then looks at him to ask him the important question, "Are you going to try to get her back?"

The truth is Changbin has come to the last stage of grief and that is acceptance. He has accepted the truth that you left him for a physical fling instead of having a real connection with him.

Whether he has intentions to get you back or not, that's still unclear.

"I don't know," he answers with a nonchalant shrug.

He then leers at you again who's now sitting on the edge of the pool with Javi with his arm draped around you.

"I just don't know how I could sit here and be like... okay with what she did," Changbin continues with a bitter smile.

Liam lifts his hands and puts them over his head, "Well, we're men, we're full of pride," he remarks.

And that's also the problem, Changbin has a lot of pride in him.

CHANGBIN: She wants to be with Javi then... [shrugs] that's okay, it's her loss.

Javi gives you everything you want.

Attention, touches, compliments, he gives you all that and there's no denying that he's extremely attractive. On paper, he's your type, he ticks everything you like on a man.

You get that excitement to dress up for someone who will appreciate the effort you put into looking that good.

"Ooh..." Javi hisses the second he lays his eyes on you.

You offer his hand at him and he wastes no time to take it, giving you a twirl before pulling you close against him.

"You're phenomenal," he compliments with his mouth pressed close to your ear.

He puts his hands around you, pulling you close until there's no gap left between your bodies, "Looking so tasty," he says along with a kiss on your cheek.

How can you not like Javi?

The cabana is crowded with couples tonight. There are Liam and Riley and Rita and Nico, since Javi wants to go there, you go along with him.

"No, but you guys, you two, I didn't see it coming," Riley points at Rita and Nico.

You prop a hand against the sofa and look at Riley, "Excuse me but I'll take credit for that," you jokingly say.

Rita bursts into laughter, knowing exactly what you're saying and probably, reminded of the kiss you both shared too.

"That's true!" Rita agrees.

Nico shakes his head in disagreement, "I kissed Rita because I thought I was going to kiss you too," he jokes.

Rita glares at him, covering Nico's mouth with his hand to stop him from talking.

It's like Lana knows everyone is having too much fun, she chimes in to join the fun, being the buzzkill she is.

"Oh, shit!" Rita reacts in slight shock.

It's very unusual that Lana didn't gather everyone first to announce something and that convinces you that it's not going to be about the rulebreaks but that's also why you get a little nervous.

"Good evening, everybody!" Lana greets.

You sit up straighter on the sofa even though Lana is just a talking cone.

"Good evening, Lana!" Everyone somehow replies at the same time.

"Riley and Liam, you took your relationship to the next level when you were awarded a green light," Lana says.

You give them a round of applause for being the most committed couple in the retreat so you hope that Lana is delivering good news for them.

"Now, it is time to build a deeper connection. Tonight, you will get the chance to know each other better in the private suite," Lana informs.

The shriek Rita lets out is piercing your ear, you get that she's excited but that excitement should be coming from either Riley or Liam.

"I'm happy for you," you sincerely tell them.

You couldn't hope for better things for both of them but yeah, can't deny that you feel a little jealous inside.

"I must remind you that the rules still apply in the private suite," Lana gives a forewarning.

Liam sucks air through his teeth and shakes his head, "It's going to be tough," he says with widened eyes.

"You can do it!" Javi hypes him.

"If anyone can do it, it's you guys," you add even though you won't mind if they spend some money in there, they deserve it.

"Please make your way to the suite," Lana orders.

Everyone is giving words of encouragement as they get up from the sofa and walk away, heading to the private suite located in a different part of the villa.

"They can do it," Rita remarks with so much confidence.

Nico nods along to her words, "They're the mom and dad of this retreat," he says.

Javi puts his arm around you and looks at you, "I would love to go to the private suite with you," he suddenly says.

You slyly smile at him, "Yeah?"

"Mmh," he eagerly nods.

"Are you going to be good in there?"

Javi inhales air and takes a second to think of an answer, "No promises," he says with a lopsided grin.

With Riley and Liam spending the night in the private suite, Gia takes over their bed and that leaves Changbin to have the bed for himself.

You've been giving him space and time to reflect but a few days have passed with no signs of Changbin having intentions to get you back.

Despite of how much you missed Changbin and wanting to give him more time, you think it's better to stop hoping now so you won't get badly hurt.

You're deep in your thoughts when Javi puts his arm around you. Without looking, you slip your hand into his hair only to find out it's damp.

"You've just showered?"

"Yes," he answers with a soft kiss on your cheek.

"I think we should shower together sometime, that'd be cute," Javi says.

You only smile at him in response and let him cuddle you on the bed.

As much as you want to make Changbin jealous and Javi has been hinting that he doesn't mind doing it with you, you can't find it in yourself to rule break with Javi.

The physical attraction is there and if you weren't here, in this sexless retreat, you would have taken him home and done God knows what.

But here... even to kiss him takes a bit of commitment and not to mention, $6,000.

You can always wait for the green light but the possibility to get it with Javi is discouraging and you hate to admit it but that is because the connection you have with him is purely physical.

YOU: I've been waiting long enough for Changbin to come around but well... [shrugs]

"Good morning, Lana!" Rita exclaims the second the lights are turned on, knowing that Lana will shortly come online.

Changbin wakes up and forces himself to sit up, his bed couldn't feel more emptier than this as he wakes up to no one but himself.

"Anyone think they spent some money?" Oliver jokingly asks with a mischievous grin.

All eyes are going toward Riley and Liam's shared bed which is now occupied by sleepy Gia, knowing that they're in the private suite and things may have happened there, possibly a few thousand dollars too.

"Nah," Sabine answers with her head shaking vigorously, "I think they're good."

"Yeah, I trust them more than I trust anyone," Jax also adds her comment.

While everyone is casually chatting, the door to the bedroom is flying open and Riley enters the room.

"We didn't break any rules!" She announces with a proud smile.

They earned a round of applause from everyone and Changbin is happy for both of them. Though he wishes that he could be more sincere with his happiness towards them, he just can't.

Without him wanting to, Changbin's head turns at your bed, seeing you sitting next to Javi whose head is resting on your lap and the fact that he gets jealous only means that he still cares about you.

You may look like you're having a good time with Javi but he can see what you have with him is merely physical, there's no connection there because if there was something, you wouldn't hesitate to rule break with him but you didn't.

It's time to admit that his pride has been getting the best of him because he doesn't even know why it took him this long to realize that he's done wrong and he'll regret it if he doesn't, at least, try to get you back.

It's time for Changbin to take control of the game, again.

CHANGBIN: I understand now that she wanted to be heard and without realizing it, I muted her and made it all about myself.

Changbin gets a different kind of jitter when Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

He used to be scared of hearing how many rule breaks have been committed and how much money they have lost but today, he's scared for one thing and that is you did a rule break with Javi.

Changbin plans on apologizing to you but he needs one last reassurance that getting back with you is the right thing.

The melodic chime comes and Lana begins with her usual greeting, she sounds rather alright today but who knows?

"Riley and Liam were sent to the suite last night and I can tell you that..."

Riley said they didn't break rules but there could be some mishaps so we'll never know for sure no rules have been broken in the private suite.

"...they did not break any rules," Lana confirms.

Cheering erupts in the cabana and another round of applause is directed at Riley and Liam as they embrace each other for a triumphant hug.

Amid the celebration, Lana interrupt with her famous cursed word.

"However..."

And that means, someone has been very, very naughty.

Changbin's heart is racing because what if his fear manifested into reality?

"Oh, shit..." Sabine lowly mutters.

"There was a breach of rules," Lana announces.

It feels like someone has punctured his lungs and he's losing all of the air, making it hard for him to breathe.

"What the fuck you guys?" Riley says with a disappointed sigh while Liam slumps down his seat also looking as disappointed.

"This is not okay," Riley complains.

They have every right to be upset because they managed to not rule break in the private suite while someone casually acted selfishly and fucked around with the money.

Changbin feels uneasy and his eyes keep glancing your way, trying to get any clues whether you kissed Javi or not.

And he deeply wishes that you didn't, or else, his plan is a bust.

"Just fess up, we'll be more annoyed if you lie about it," Oliver says and that's coming from him means this is serious.

"Well, it's not us," Sabine is the first to come forward.

Everyone turns to the next couple, Rita and Nico.

"Nope, we didn't," Nico calmly denies and the last time they did, Nico admitted it right away.

Changbin holds his breath as they turn to you, silently praying that it's not you.

You crack a smile then turn your head at Javi, letting him. speaks for both of you. Javi rubs his chin, stalling on answering the question, and then he opens his mouth to—

"It was us," Gareth confesses, shifting everyone's attention to him.

"We kissed last night," he explains.

"Are you joking?" Nico asks in disbelief.

The tension is rising and everyone is about to eat Gareth and Jax alive. Meanwhile Changbin... feels greatly relieved and he can feel that the air is filling him again.

"This rule break has cost the group $6,000."

"That's so disrespectful," Riley sighs with angered facial expression.

"The prize fund now stands at $133,000."

Changbin may have lost some money but he gains something out of it: a newfound hope.

CHANGBIN: I want to apologize to her for my behavior and come clean with everything that I did wrong [sighs] I hope it's not too late.

The first thing that Javi notices is your black dress that hangs low in the back.

You spin around on your feet to show the whole look and break into laughter as you get a little dizzy. Javi quickly offers his hand to help you steady yourself.

"Gorgeous!" He beams with a bright smile on his face.

You lift your feet, showing him the shoes with the straps lacing up to your knees, "What about my shoes?"

"Love it!" He shortly answers.

"Thank you," you sweetly mutter with a smile.

Javi picks up a glass from the table and hands it to you, "Got you a drink," he says.

You take a seat on the chair opposite him, "What did you guys do at the workshop today?" You ask since they spent the whole afternoon at the beach for the workshop.

As you sit there listening to him talk while sipping your drink, you unknowingly find yourself drifting away from your head and it leads to you wondering what you really feel for Javi.

It's obvious that you like him, he's nice, he's good-looking, and he's been treating you well but can this thing go further than this? You're not sure and a part of the reason is that your head is still stuck on Changbin.

As if your thoughts are calling him, Changbin comes walking toward you.

"Hey," he softly greets.

Your heart leaps and you find yourself smiling at him.

Javi glances up at him and getting a little alarmed, "Hey," he answers with a slightly confounded tone.

"Can I talk to her for a minute?" Changbin asks him.

Javi looks at him and then at you, he seems to consider rejecting his request.

"Yeah, sure, okay," Javi takes his drink with him and leaves the two of you to talk in private.

Changbin takes Javi's seat, leaning forward with his hands clasped between his legs. He starts with a smile yet his gaze is intense, a little seductive too.

"I want to say something to you," he says.

He demands your attention for what he's about to say to you and of course, you want to hear it.

You nod and smile, "Okay."

Changbin takes a second for himself before starts talking, "I've been thinking about it, about us... and the workshop helped me reflect on what we had, you know?"

You nod again, "Yes."

"I know where I messed up... I put the needs of Lana and the retreat before the needs of us," he admits his mistake right away.

This is where you learn a new thing about him, that he is a man who knows his mistakes and owns up to them.

"I was rigid on us not to rule break and not lose the money. I was super strict on the fact that we need to follow the rules," he pauses to inhale air.

Changbin closes his eyes like what he's going to say next is painful to say, "I forced you to do all that, and I... I didn't ask you if that was okay with you."

Oftentimes, men would apologize without knowing what they did wrong, they just want to get it out of the way but Changbin is different, he knows where things went wrong and acknowledges his shortcomings.

"And I shouldn't have done that," he says, his words are heavy with regrets.

Other than that, you can feel how sincere Changbin is and that truly says something.

"That's right," you confirm all of his words.

Your eyes are looking deeply into his and holding the gaze, "I felt like you have it easy to go along with the process and I was like struggling so much," you tell him.

Other than growing as a couple, everyone is also having their processes in this retreat and you must admit that it wasn't easy for you to completely give up on physical things. It's possible, yes, but it takes time for you to do that.

"You probably think that not getting anything physical from you is the issue but it's because of you making those decisions for me," you explain.

You inaudibly exhale air and continue, "I did not like that."

Both ends are communicating well with each other with how Changbin has been intently listening to what you have to say in return.

"I want to apologize to you," he earnestly says.

"I know I should have valued your opinion and listened to what you had to say," he adds with a heartfelt gaze directed towards you and only you.

This is exactly what you wanted and needed to hear from him. Your heart is bursting open once more and overflowing with warm feelings.

"I appreciate it that you coming and talking to me tonight," you tell him with a smile.

He nods and smiles back at you, "I realized that I'm not perfect but I'm always trying to be better every day."

He tilts his head to the side then continues, "Especially for you."

You can't help but smile wider and wider until your cheeks hurt. Even after what happened, Changbin still knows how to make you flutter inside.

"One question though!" He suddenly says, turning serious all of a sudden.

"Mmh?"

"Who are you sleeping with tonight?" He asks with a sly smile on his face

You have to remind yourself to not fold right in front of him despite how much you want it, you take a breath and gain a little composure.

"I think I know who I want to sleep with tonight," you cryptically say but with a stare that pierces right into his heart.

This talk means so much more than just you and Changbin solving the issue together, but the way you two handle it in such a mature way makes you realize that you have grown too as a person.

YOU: I'm looking forward to sharing the bed with Changbin again but I have to do something else first.

Changbin feels like flying, his body might be lying on bed but his spirit is soaring high to cloud nine. He's waiting for you to come with a space prepared for you on the bed right next to him.

Tonight has been one hell of a roller coaster of emotions.

Changbin knows you still have feelings for him but feelings change so he can't rely on everything solely on that. Then the talk went well and he couldn't ask for a better outcome.

Apart from that, he feels incredibly relieved to have fixed things before it gets too late.

The door to the bedroom swung open and Changbin's head turned in that direction. A smile instantly blooms on his face the second he sees you enter the bedroom and it grows wider and wider as you get closer.

Then you walk past his bed and toward the bed you shared with Javi, causing Changbin's smile to automatically drop.

"Baby..." he meekly calls for you while patting the space on the bed.

Everyone else is silently watching how you keep going to Javi's bed, you grab your tube of lotion and water tumbler from the bedside table then waddle to his bed.

"Oh!" Sabine coos in reaction, shattering the tension in the room.

Changbin opens his arms for you, catching you as you jump right onto his lap. He wastes no time to wrap his arms around you, holding you so tightly.

"Yes, my favorite couple is back," Rita squeals from her bed.

"How about Javi?" Nico asks, kind of killing the celebratory vibe in the room.

You turn at him and answer, "I told him about the sleeping arrangements."

Everyone is worrying about Javi's reactions to this bed switch but Changbin won't let it ruin his happiness. He only wants to focus on you and how happy he is to have you back again.

Having to hold you again, your warmth, your scent, oh... this is heaven!

"Missed you so much," he whispers with a heavy kiss on your neck.

"Me too, baby," you say back with a soft laugh as he continues to ferociously kiss your neck.

Filling everyone's anticipation, Javi finally walks into the bedroom and he seems to be calm finding Gia instead of you lying on his bed.

Everyone's eyes are going back and forth between his bed and Javi's, sensing there's a tension in between.

"I feel bad," you lowly mutter at Changbin while looking at Javi.

He understands well if you feel that way but you have done your part by talking to him, what happens after that is out of your control.

"It's going to be alright," he says to you with a soft caress on your cheek.

It seems to have worked to comfort you as you softly smile at him and Changbin couldn't be happier that now you're back at his side

CHANGBIN: Sorry, Javi but she and I are here to stay [smiles]

The moment he opens his eyes and sees you still sleeping next to him, Changbin feels butterflies flying around his stomach.

He carefully removes the hair covering your face and puts it aside, he rubs your cheek with his thumb before placing a soft kiss on it and another one on your temple.

"Wake up," he lowly mutters with his nose nuzzling into your neck.

Instead of waking up, you snuggle close to him and Changbin puts his arm around you. You look so adorable sleeping with your hand folded under your head.

Not long after that, the lights in the room are turned on and everyone else drags themselves out of their cocoons, sitting on their beds bare-faced and barely awake.

"Morning..." Sabine hoarsely greets everyone.

"Morning, family!" Liam greets with a voice that is deeper than usual.

Changbin tries again, waking you up with gentle caresses on your back, "Baby, wake up," he softly calls.

After a while, your eyes flutter open and meet his. You rub your eyes while forcing yourself awake, sitting on the bed next to him.

Changbin puts his arm around you and rests his hand on your waist, "Still sleepy?"

You nod while you're yawning, then put your head on his shoulder.

"Want me to wake you up?" He asks.

Your eyes are glaring at him in confusion then Changbin slips his hand under the duvet and pinches the flesh on the back of your thigh.

"Ouw!" You squeal, jolting next to him.

You hit his chest but it couldn't do much with all those muscles on his chest.

"Well, you're awake now!" Changbin mutters with a sly smile, pulling you closer to him.

He caresses your head and tilts your head so he can kiss you on your cheek, "Morning!"

You grope around for his hand and once you find it, clasping them together.

"Morning," you mumble with eyes closed.

"Where's the kiss?" He playfully asks.

You hold his chin and kiss his cheek, rubbing the skin once you pull away.

It's funny that Changbin couldn't remember what happened, he couldn't even remember why he was mad at you. It seems like that part has been erased from his memory and all he can remember is how much he likes you and how he wants to keep waking up next to you.

Changbin can't help but start to think of taking this outside of the retreat, he wonders if—

Lana chimes in, shattering Changbin's sweet daydream.

"Good morning, everyone!"

"Morning, Lana darling!" Rita cheerily answers.

"I would like to inform you that many of you are showing signs of emotional development and this is the most encouraging."

Everyone is cheering because it feels like we finally achieved something and ultimately, it's the first good news we got from Lana.

Everything is going so well and Changbin just can't wait for what's coming for you and him. He takes your hand and looks at you, in your eyes he knows things are going to be alright.

CHANGBIN: I woke up to the prettiest girl in the world and I'm just... excited for us [grins]

Even Lana is in a good mood today so you have nothing to complain about.

You run out of dresses to wear but that's not going to stop you from putting on your best look. The girls are having a late start getting ready since the workshop took hours to finish.

You stand right in front of the mirror wearing a one-shoulder dress you borrowed from Rita and check your appearance one last time before stepping out of the villa and into the night.

The anticipation rises as you get to where everyone is gathering, you can't wait to see how Changbin is going to react to how you look tonight.

You see that Changbin is talking to Liam and has his back facing you, you take advantage of it by sneaking up behind him.

Slowly, you slip your hands under his arms and hug him, "What did I miss?"

Changbin automatically turns his head and without letting go of your hands, he turns around to face you. You can see how his eyes light up when he looks at you, sending a tingle down your spine.

"Me. That's what you missed," he answers.

You take his drink and have a sip of it before handing it back to him. You loop your hands around his neck and look at him, "And what else?"

He has his arm wrapped around your waist and the other is steadily holding his drink, "You missed... these muscles too," he says, flexing his biceps for you.

You chuckle in response and cling to him, putting all of your weight against him without worrying that he won't be able to hold you. You use the chance to trace his wide shoulders and lower them, feeling the bulging muscles on his arms.

It feels so wrong to touch his God-like body, it's like touching something so sacred but at the same time, you feel tempted to ruin it.

Changbin puts his drink away so he can wrap both of his arms around you. He presses a hot kiss on your jaw and then on your neck, delightfully sighing as he looks at you.

"The face, the hair, even your nails... I love all of them," he compliments you.

You already get giddy just from one compliment and shyly smile at him, staring back at him with hearts in your eyes.

He then makes a trail of kisses down your shoulder to your arm and sighs again.

"How are you so perfect, mmh?" He asks in a voice full of wonder.

He presses another kiss on the skin behind your ear, "So perfect," he sighs.

You notice his hands are resting on the arch of your back and you know how much he wants to go lower than that, you admire his self-control.

"Mmh..." his heavy sigh feels hot against your ear.

"You still make me hard, baby," he shamelessly admits, making it obvious the thing that has been poking at your thigh is indeed his pulsating member.

Goodness! How can you think straight when you know how much he wants you and probably as much as you want him? Even after being away from each other, the sexual chemistry is still there and it's getting stronger.

He tilts his head up and lets out another heavy sigh, "This is dangerous," he says.

You both know what you want but that want is not allowed at the moment. You take the role of being the good girl tonight and gently pull away from his hold but his arms remain locked around you.

"And where are you going?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

"You said it's dangerous," you tell him with a subtle glare.

"I did," he confirms.

Then he tightens his hold around you until there is not even an inch left between your bodies.

"Just let me—"

Without finishing his sentence, his hands slide down the sides of your body and they're resting on the end of your spine.

He buries his head in your neck, inhaling your scent like it cures his addiction and then he kisses you there.

Lana may be a cone but she has eyes and you know she's seeing this, that's why you get startled when she chimes. Everyone takes it as a cue to gather in the cabana to hear what news she has for us now.

"Were there any rule breaks?" Oliver asks as he takes a seat on the sofa.

Well, you and Changbin have been very physical but there's nothing sexual there to be considered as rule breaks. You've been playing by the rules like a good girl.

"I hope it's another good news," Changbin mutters next to you.

Don't want to be the voice of pessimism but it seems like Lana only gave good news this morning just to ruin it tonight. But you could be wrong, and gosh, you hope you're wrong.

YOU: I get the feeling that... we're not getting more good news tonight.

Lana lights up and chimes, "Hello, everyone!"

She always talks in the same robotic voice, there's no cadence or emotions in them yet somehow you can always guess what she brings to the table tonight.

"The retreat will be ending in three days, after which, I will be allocating the prize fund to those most deserving," Lana informs.

Wow! It has been that long already? The time you spent in this retreat felt so long but now that you've been through so many things, it feels so short. You suddenly feel sentimental about it.

"However..."

Everyone groans in unison once that word is said and we know what comes after that, which proves your guess is right.

"I have observed that not all of you are sufficiently invested in the process."

Your heart drops, guessing that Lana is about to send someone home again. Even though you both have made up and together again it doesn't mean that you're safe from elimination.

"Two people in particular are showing no interest in changing their approach to sex and relationships. It's for that reason I will be sending those two people home tonight," Lana confirms your guess.

YOU: I am so stressed thinking that it's going to be me.

Changbin senses that you need the comfort, he takes your hand in his and holds it tight. His thumb is gently rubbing the back of your hand.

"Oh, God..." You hide yourself behind Changbin and rest your head on his back.

Who could it be? You ask yourself and everyone else probably asking the same thing too.

Honestly speaking, you could be one of those two but you don't want to go home yet, not when you're so close to finishing it.

The air shifts, suddenly it's turning cold and dense in here, but everyone knows that they can't escape it.

"The guests leaving the retreat are..."

Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it in your ear and you're not sure if you can—

"Gareth and Jax," Lana announces.

You know it's not a good time but it feels good to let out a breath of relief, you immediately melt into Changbin's back, hugging him from the back and feeling so incredibly grateful that Lana is still giving you another chance.

"Since arriving at the retreat, you have ignored my rules. You have failed to grow and generally showed very little respect for the process," Lana lays out all the reasons why she eliminated them.

Jax seems to have expected this meanwhile Gareth, he looks rather a bit devastated by it. Sabine is the first to come to them and give them a farewell hug, everyone following suit after.

"Gareth and Jax, please leave the retreat!" Lana orders.

Jax smiles as she gets up from the sofa and looks at everyone, "I love you, guys," she says with an air kiss.

You didn't get to get to know Jax and Gareth that well and you know Lana has the right reasons for sending them home, but still... it's sad to see them go.

YOU: I'm just so thankful right now, I still want to learn, I want to keep growing, and I'm trying to progress.

The first thing you do as the two of you walk into the bedroom from the cabana is hug Changbin.

"That fucking scared me," you mutter with your hands around his neck, hugging him so tight.

Guess the elimination must have shaken you but Changbin is ready to give you the comfort you need, hugging you back, caressing your back with such love.

"It's alright," he assures you.

He lovingly pats your head then kisses the top of your head, "We're still here."

It's rough, what Lana did but that's what happened when you didn't play by the rules. Changbin kind of expected that since Jax and Gareth blatantly broke the rules multiple times and they were in the retreat half the time he has spent in here.

The gloom lingers until bedtime, everyone is either sad about the elimination or that the retreat is going to end in a couple of days.

Changbin is thankful that he managed to fix things with you and now, he just needs to keep building this connection with you.

He's holding you close to him as you lay with your back on his chest, comforting you with light touches of his fingertips up and down your arms.

"That was horrible," Rita mumbles from her bed while playing with Nico's hair on her lap.

"It's one of the worst nights," Liam agrees with a sigh.

"This should be a wake-up call to not take this retreat for granted," Oliver says.

He can feel you nodding at Oliver's words and he looks down to see you, tilting your head with his hand gently holding your chin.

"Are you okay, baby?"

You nod with a soft smile on your face and he feels good knowing that you're alright, that way, he can feel alright too.

The lights are out not long after that.

When Changbin thinks that you're already sleeping, you shift on the bed and bring your mouth close to his ear, "I'm so happy that we're together," you softly whisper.

It's so sudden yet so endearing. He doesn't know what to say to that because you caught him off guard.

Then your hand reaches for his face and in the dark, he can see your gleaming eyes staring deeply into his, "You're genuine, you're honest, you're so patient with me... I feel like I can trust you," you tell him while keeping your voice low.

Hearing those words from you makes his heart rattle in his chest and full of warm feelings.

"I want to get to know you better and keep growing with you," you continue with your hand resting on his chest as if you wanted those words to seep into his heart.

Something shifts in this relationship, Changbin believes that you have chosen to open up to him by telling him how you feel and he is tremendously grateful for that.

Yet he is still speechless and with you keep looking at him with glazing eyes, he knows he should say something by now.

"Where is that coming from?" He asks you in a mix of disbelief and awe.

You glide your hand down to his abdomen, "I just feel like I needed to tell you that," you simply answer.

He slips his hand in your hair and holds the side of your head, "Thank you for telling me that," he sincerely says.

"You're very welcome," you say back with a smile.

He badly wants to kiss you right now but he knows he can't break rules, ultimately, not when the retreat is about to end.

"Just so you know, I want to kiss you right now," he honestly tells you.

"I know."

He opts to hold your face, looking at you with fondness in his eyes, and with all of his heart, he kisses your forehead. He then draws you closer and holds you, not letting any space get in between your bodies.

It's rather frustrating that he can't show you how much he likes you physically. Well, that's a good thing that the retreat is about to end because he doesn't know how much longer he can resist you

"Just three more days, Seo Changbin," he says to himself with a sigh.

You giggle with your head buried in his chest, "Technically, it's two more days," you correct him.

He smiles at your words and responds, "Even better!"

CHANGBIN: There's a real, genuine connection there and I can see myself with this girl [smiles]

With what you said last night, Changbin feels reassured of his feelings towards you and he can feel it continuously growing as he wakes up the next morning.

It's another day in heaven with you, he starts with a kiss on your cheek and keeps cuddling you while you're still peacefully sleeping next to him.

"Baby," he softly calls.

"Wake up," he says with another gentle kiss on your shoulder.

He slips his hand under the duvet, tracing the curve of your body with his hand. He stops at the dip of your waist and calls you again.

"Wake up, my angel," he says again with a squeeze on the flesh of your waist.

"Mmh..." you hum with your eyes remain closed.

Even without looking at the time, Changbin can tell that the lights are going on soon. He tries one last time, putting his hand on your stomach and pinches the flesh.

You jolt on the bed and grip his arm, taking his hand away from your stomach.

"Not fair," you grumble while sleepily laughing.

Ignoring your complaint, he pulls you close and begins placing kisses on your face, avoiding the part close to your mouth.

"Good morning, everyone!" Lana comes for the morning greeting.

"Morning, Lana!" Everyone replies.

"I hope you make the most of the time you have left in the retreat," she reminds everyone to remain celibate for another couple of days.

There are only two days left in the retreat and Changbin wants to make the most of it.

There's one thing left to do now and that is to find out if you want to take this further even after the retreat ends.

Looking back at what he's been through, he admits that he had his ups and downs but he also must admit that he was hurt with what you did with Javi.

He likes you so much but he has this small part of him that won't let him put his whole trust in you. For now, maybe it's enough but for this relationship to last, he needs the assurance that he can trust his heart on you.

"Hop on!" He orders, offering his back for you.

You excitedly get on his back yet he's not moving from his spot, "Let's go!"

He looks over his shoulder at you and taps his cheek, a sign that he's asking for a kiss.

You place a long peck on his cheek and let go with a gasp. Changbin suddenly charged with so much energy and got up from the bed, "Okay, let's go!"

CHANGBIN: We've been making a genuine connection but I need more reassurance about the future of our relationship.

It's impossible to not get sentimental at the reminder that the retreat is going to end.

You're going to miss this place and surprisingly, Lana but on top of all that, you're going to miss everyone here, whether they're close to you or not, they're what makes this retreat bearable and full of special memories.

Talking about the people here, you feel like you still owe someone an apology. You have apologized but still... you want to make sure that things are good between you and him.

After finishing your make-up for the day, you're heading to the bathroom and Javi happens to be there.

It seems like the perfect opportunity to talk because if not now, then when? It's time to put the lesson you learned here into practice.

You smile finding him putting on some shaving cream all over his chin and jaws.

"Hi, sexy. How are you?" You ask.

Javi steps back to let you use the sink, "Good, good."

He watches you as you wash your hands under the running water, "How are you?" He asks back.

"I'm very well, thanks," you reply.

You hurriedly step back to let him use the sink, it seems like a bad time to talk because he'll most likely focus on his shaving. But you don't want to postpone it, you're just going to make it succinct.

You gulp air and just say it, "Hey, what happened..I–I truly apologize for that," you sincerely apologize.

Javi looks at you with half of his face covered in white cream, "That's okay. It's cool," he assures you.

You lean against the sink as you keep talking to him, "I hope, you know, despite that, we can still be friends," your voice quivers a little, serious talk like this gets you nervous.

Javi nods and picks up his shaver, "aren't we already friends?"

You're worrying too much about this not going to end well and never thought that it could be the opposite.

"Yeah?" You ask again, wanting the reassurance you need.

"Yeah," he confirms.

"We're good?"

"More than good," he says with a smile.

It's like a ton of weight has been lifted off your chest and you can breathe in ease now, knowing that there's no bad blood between you and him.

"Can we hug it out?" You hesitantly ask.

Javi looks down at the shaver in his hand and then puts it down. He then opens his arms for you, welcoming you for a hug.

"Careful not to get some," he reminds you, tilting his head up so none of the shaving cream gets onto your hair.

You put your arms around him and hug him as a token of friendship, "You're a good person, Javi," you mutter.

He rubs your arm, then pats your shoulder, "and you're the nicest girl I've ever known," he says.

Most men won't easily accept the fact that you chose someone else than them and still say nice things about you, but here is Javi, proving that he's not just most men.

"Aw... thank you, Javi," you sincerely thank him.

This also reminds you that there's a man who won't be delighted to see you hugging him, so you pull away and smile at him.

"You can shave in peace now," you tell him with a laugh.

Javi picks up his shaver and says to you before you leave, "See you around!"

YOU: I used to be bad at having serious, difficult talks but now, I started to stop avoiding it.

It's time for another fun session with Lana in the cabana.

You don't think there would be anyone who is stupid enough to break rules when the retreat is close to the end but you can never know with Lana.

"I think someone rulebreak last night," Changbin mutters to you.

You look at him with a questioning glare, "Yeah? Who?"

"It was me," he replies.

Your first thought is that he probably did something without you knowing. You open your mouth in slight shock then land a slap on his thigh, "You did not—"

"Ouch!" He yelps even though you're sure your slap wouldn't hurt that much considering how big he is.

"What did you do?" You ask with eyes widened.

He leans in close to whisper to you, "I kissed you in my dream."

You burst into laughter and slap his thigh again, "in your dream, huh?"

He's slyly grinning at you, satisfied that his prank is a success, "That's not the only thing that happened," he adds.

"Ah?" You give him the side eye.

He leans in again, "We kissed, we got naked, then I went down on you..." he whispers, lowering his voice and making it sultry.

You cover his mouth to stop him from talking, "Okay, I get it," you tell him, not letting him fill your head with his wild imagination.

He takes your hand away and continues whispering to you, "Then we—"

As Lana chimes in, you hurriedly shut him up with both your hands covering his mouth now, "Stop it!"

"Hello, everyone!"

"Yes, Lana," you reply, holding Changbin's hand in your lap as an emotional support.

"All romantic connections matter and must be nourished with time apart from the group," Lana says.

Oh, you don't like the sound of it but you give her a chance to make it right, opening your ears to hear the rest of the announcement.

"This is why I'm sending all partnered guests on a final date."

The group applauds in reaction while you wonder if you and Changbin are eligible to get a date. You look at the staff and mouth, "Including us?"

One of the staff holding a walkie-talkie nodding in confirmation and that's when you allowed yourself to celebrate it.

Lana further confirms it by informing your turn for the date is going to be this afternoon, instantly putting you in a panic having not much time to get ready for it.

"It is time for you all to look at your development and assess what you want from your future. Please use this time wisely," she concludes.

YOU: I am so excited about our date, we're going to have so much fun [squeals] okay, maybe, not too much [grins]

There's a fear lurking behind the excitement you have for your date.

Changbin has acknowledged your feelings but he won't easily forget the thing that happened with Javi and you're afraid that it's still haunting him and makes him doubt our future.

You keep taking deep breaths with each step you take to the beach, finding him already waiting for you with a scintillating smile on his face.

"My perfect girl, aren't you?" Changbin says with a gleeful smile.

"You're my beautiful man," you praise back, taking a moment to admire how beautiful he is under the afternoon sun.

The walk to the date spot is quite far yet Changbin firmly holding your hand and tirelessly complimenting you. The date is not started yet but he's already making you flustered.

They have prepared a small boat for where you're going to have a cute picnic, without warning, Changbin lifts you with his arms and gets you onto the boat.

"Thank you," you mutter, sitting on one of the cushions inside the boat.

The view is perfect, he is perfect and you can only hope that the date is just as perfect.

Changbin opens a bottle of wine without a hassle and pours it into two champagne flutes, making a toast to start the date.

"At one point in the retreat, I didn't know if I would have gone on this date," he says.

That feels like a jab at you, not that you don't deserve it but you didn't think he would dig at it this early on a date.

"Mm-mmh," you nod.

"Because of that thing with Javi... I was hurt," he says to you.

You try to be positive, at least, by him bringing it up early, you can quickly get it out of the way.

"I regret hurting you, I do," you confess.

You look into his eyes and let him see through all of the exteriors that you're being sincere with your words, "I never want to do that again," you earnestly promise him.

With Javi, it's clear that you were distracted by the physical and you were frustrated by the lack of affection from Changbin. It's time for you to explain yourself how you got yourself into that position.

"I love getting attention, I love physical affection and not having that... it was really difficult," you explain.

He shakes his head in disagreement, "It was hard," he says.

He takes a quick sip of his drink before continuing to talk, "It was hard not giving you that physical affection."

The last time you checked, he didn't seem to struggle with it, "Are you sure? Because it looked easy for you."

He puts his drink down, then licks his lips, "Trust me, it wasn't easy at all," he convinces you, taking your hand in his with a smile on his face.

YOU: We had our ups and downs but I definitely see a future with him [smiles] There's only one thing left to do now.

The best feeling in the world is knowing that his feelings are being reciprocated but having you convinced him that you won't hurt him again, he takes it as another way of telling him how you really feel.

"I'm really into you," you sweetly admit with a shy smile.

Changbin's doubt starts to scatter with every reassurance he gets from you

"I like what we have," you tell him, lightly shaking your clasped hands.

And there it is, his last shred of doubt just detached itself off of him. Changbin is now ready to hand his heart to you but it seems like you have something else to say to him.

With the subtle change of facial expression and how your shoulders tensed, he gets nervous about what you're going to say next.

"What I want to ask you right now..." you pause to inhale air.

Changbin gulps air too in anticipation of what's coming after that sentence.

"When we go back home, out of this retreat," you continue.

He's getting impatient now as you keep stopping in between sentences, "Yeah?"

"Do you want to be with me?" You finally ask.

Changbin always takes pride in being dominant, making grand gestures for someone he likes, and being the one in control. However, you're doing all that to him now, and surprisingly, he enjoys every bit of it.

"There's only been one person the entire time," he says with a piercing stare right into your heart.

"And she's here, right in front of me," he says.

The smile on your face blooms ever so softly like a sunrise that slowly fills the sky with daylight. Gosh, you're so beautiful that he can't believe you're asking him to be with you.

Lana chimes and he almost groans in complaint, except that he forgot about the watches and that it's turning green.

"Fucking finally!" He curses out loud.

This is the moment that he's been craving and he bets, you did too. He pulls you close and leans in, a hand holding your jaw, then slowly, crashing his lips against yours.

He has kissed you a few times already but it feels like the first time all over again, he allows himself to deepen the kiss and tastes you more to make up for all the times he couldn't do it.

Without him realizing it, his hand runs down to the hem of your dress and slips under. The next thing he knows, he's grabbing a handful of your ass cheek in his hand.

"I always wanted to do that," he says against your lips.

You smile and say, "Yeah, I can tell."

Changbin feels like fireworks are going off in his chest and it's crazy that his heart can contain all of this happiness inside of him without exploding.

CHANGBIN: This is it! It took us a long time to get this green light and we did it [smiles]

The night is exceptionally vibrant tonight.

Everyone is looking so happy returning from their dates, Rita and Nico are the last ones to come back, holding hands as they join everyone in the firepit.

"Oh, here they are!" Sabine exclaims, putting away her drink to welcome them.

Sabine and Oliver, despite their dramas, are leaving the retreat as a couple and so are Riley and Liam, who are the strongest couple in the retreat. You expect that the same thing happen to Rita and Nico, especially because you were the matchmaker.

"You know, Rita, I'd be so upset if you didn't date each other," You jokingly say to them.

Nico sits and is ready to answer everyone's questions, "We had a very nice date," he shortly says.

That's not enough information, you force yourself to get up from Changbin's warm embrace and look at them, "Any big news you want to share with us?"

"We had some cheese, some red wine..." Nico continues to dodge away from answering the real question.

With Rita staying quiet, you start to worry that things are not going well with them.

"Another big news?" You hopelessly ask.

Nico glances at Rita then looks at everyone, "I asked her to be my girlfriend," he finally answers your big question.

You scramble to come up at Rita and throw yourself at her, feeling so proud of her. Truthfully, all you did was give them the nudge and they did the rest.

"So happy for you, mami!" You gently pat her cheek.

You go back to your seat and by it you mean Changbin's lap with his arms ready to keep you warm against the cool night air.

You couldn't be happier to see everyone is happy and for everything that they achieved but in the process, you forgot that you should be happy for yourself as well, for coming this far in the retreat and growing as a person.

It's like she can't help that everyone is having fun, the cone lights up and chimes.

"Good evening."

"Evening, Lana..." you reply with sheer panic, afraid that she's going to ruin this good day too.

"Congratulations on a great day in the retreat," Lana says.

You let out a quick breath of relief knowing that Lana isn't bringing bad news with her, you can relax your shoulders and melt into Changbin's chest.

"You have all made significant progress. Your prize fund stands at $133,000."

"Ooh..." Liam hisses, "That's a lot."

"Yeah," Javi agrees with a nod.

"As you know, your time here has almost come to an end so please use the remaining time wisely," Lana finishes with a forewarning.

It only gets to you now that it's the last night in retreat and it feels so sad that soon, you'll not be able to spend this much time with Changbin.

YOU: It's the last night in the retreat so I want to have a little fun [smirks] Just a little [winks]

Everyone is heading back inside for bedtime but Changbin stays in the firepit with you.

He simply wants to enjoy the night with you and enjoy each other's company in a comfortable silence, soaking up the last moments you have in here.

It's not going to be like this and he's fully aware that the real test is out there, out of this retreat. With that fear slowly creeping up inside him, he reminds himself to enjoy every second of this moment and holds you close.

You turn your head at him, "It's getting late," you say.

"Want to go back inside?" He asks.

You nod then slowly, get up from the sofa. You hold his hand, leading him back inside the villa and going straight to the dressing room.

You're sitting with your chair pushed close to the vanity table, cleaning your make-up while Changbin is taking off his clothes next to his closet.

"Wait for me!" You tell him.

He turns around on his feet to look at you, "What?"

"Are you going to shower?"

"Yeah."

"Then wait for me," you tell him.

Changbin doesn't get what you're saying. Why should he wait for you to go to the bathroom?

You brush your hair quickly and put everything back into your make-up bag, "Let's shower together," you say.

"That's not a good idea," Changbin says and you should know that by now.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, we're just going to shower," you say, sauntering to your closet.

His fair warning doesn't stop you from taking off your clothes and he knows he should look away, yet somehow, he finds himself enjoying watching you get undressed.

"Get the shower ready, will you?" You say, standing across the room only in your underwear.

It's like someone else has taken control of his body, he finds himself removing his clothes and wrapping himself in a towel before heading to the bathroom.

He leaves the glass door of the shower stall ajar while he's alternating between hot and cold water to get the water temperature right.

"Is it ready?" You ask, coming into the bathroom wrapped in a white towel.

Changbin checks once again, putting his hand under the water and it warms his skin.

"Yeah, it's ready," he says.

"Okay, I'm coming in," you say, taking off your towel and hanging it on the handle of the shower door.

It's a miracle that Changbin didn't die on the spot when he sees your naked body, but his hands are flying to his eyes, covering them a little too late.

He hears you giggling and it's echoing in the shower stall, blending with the sound of the water running, then you take his hands away.

"Why won't you look at me?" You ask while laughing.

When he opens his eyes, you're standing so close to him and he can feel your body heat in this proximity.

"This is so dangerous," he says through his gritted teeth.

"It's not," you immediately deny.

"Don't be so dramatic!" You hiss at him, grabbing him by the elbow to get under the shower together.

Changbin wonders if he sets the water temperature too high or if it's getting hotter in here. Is the shower stall has been this small or you're standing too close to him?

Either way, you best believe that he doesn't want to get out of there.

CHANGBIN: [Exhales air] It's hard. Trust me, it's really hard [Laughs]

It's funny to see him getting all tense and Changbin rarely gets tensed.

You feel the need to lighten up the mood and stop ogling at his body because it seems like it's making him even more nervous.

But it's hard not to look at him when he's looking like a greek God, you get to see his naked body with water streaming down the outlines of his muscles.

It takes everything in you not to jump at him, climbing him like a tree.

"Want to use my shampoo?" You ask, shifting your attention to your toiletry bag.

"Yeah," he meekly says.

You hold in your laughter hearing his helpless voice and grab your bottle of shampoo, taking a big dollop of it into the palm of your hand.

Carefully, you lather it onto his hair until it's foaming, then gently massage his scalp with the pads of your fingers.

"You'll do my hair after, okay?" You tell him, making it fair for both of you.

It's hard to focus on the task at hand when his eyes are intensely staring into yours, hinting that he's thinking something else while you're shampooing his hair.

You daringly stare back into his eyes, "your hair is so soft," you compliment with a sweet smile.

He doesn't say anything but takes the bottle of shampoo from your toiletry bag, taking his turn to do the same to you. He starts at the crown of your hair and works his way down from there.

"Am I doing it right?" He asks.

"Yeah."

He massages your hair and does it so gently, aware of the strength he has with those big arms.

"Is it good?"

"Mmh, very good," you shortly answer, your voice dropping lower than you intended to.

"Oh!" He gasps in panic, accidentally dropping a blob of foam on your eyebrow.

You close your eyes to not let it get into your eyes and he tenderly washes it down with water, "You can open your eyes now," he says.

As soon as you open them, you find his eyes and they softly gazing at you but you can see the fiery glints in them. As much as you want him to fold, you must admit he has great self-control.

The shower continues with you lathering him with soap and you don't know how you find yourself pushing him against the wall, but you're using this as an opportunity to explore his glorious body.

You begin at the neck and glide your hands down his shoulders, feeling how broad they are, and how you can rely yourself on them being your place to seek comfort from.

From there, you drag your hands down his chest, feeling the ridges of his muscles under your fingertips, all the while you're holding your gaze with him.

You know you should have stopped at his abdomen, yet you dare yourself to go lower than that. Your hands are going to the sides, holding his waist as your eyes flick down to his semihard.

Gosh, he's even bigger than you pictured it in your head, and in a second, filthy thoughts are flooding your head.

Oh, how you want to touch it, hold it, feel it in your hand and one thing you know for sure is your mouth is certainly bigger than your eyes, you can take his—

"Hey, hey, my eyes are up here," Changbin tells you, tilting your head up to meet his eyes again.

You burst out laughing, getting caught looking at his cock but there's nothing wrong with it, it's not like you haven't caught him doing the same thing.

Changbin turns you around as he takes his turn, lathering the liquid soap on and around your body. You feel his chest against your back as his hands slip under your arms, his hand starts at your neck and across your chest, then brings it down the valley of your breasts.

With his head hanging above your shoulder, you can feel every breath takes, how it's getting heavier and hotter the longer he roams your body.

"You're so soft," he murmurs close to your ear.

You shyly smile at him, putting your hands on his and exploring your body together with him.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," he murmurs with an overwhelming sigh as if he couldn't believe what he's seeing and touching.

Changbin seems to can't help it this time, he presses a kiss on your wet cheek and pulls you close, staying like that for a moment until he lets out a soft laugh.

"I can't stop touching you," he whispers.

You turn around to face him and wash each other under the shower, hands all over each other with the warmth of the water enveloping you both in an unspeakable comfort.

Changbin holds your face with both hands, doing it so tenderly like he's holding a fragile object.

"Oh, I'm in too deep," he says with a giddy smile.

"Apparently, not deep enough," you jokingly say.

He then slowly leans in and places a sweet kiss on your forehead. It's not the kiss you wanted but it's not less intimate than that, it's enough to make your stomach flip.

YOU: It's just me and him, it's very intimate... I think it's just so romantic [brightly smiles]

This is one of the moments where Changbin thinks that he can see a future with you.

He joins you in front of the sink as you're brushing your teeth, only in your towel and your hair is still wet. He places a kiss on your shoulder after getting his toiletry bag from the drawer.

"That took a lot of uhm... self-restraint," he says, letting you know how hard it was for him.

You stop brushing your teeth and hold his elbow, "You did okay," you playfully say.

You offer your fisted hand for a fistbump, "Good job!"

"Good job!" He says back, bumping his fist against yours.

You finish brushing your teeth while he's about to start but you linger there, hugging him from the side and playing with the hair in the back of his head.

"I love your curls," you tell him.

He leans down on the sink to wash his mouth and wipes it with a towel. He pulls your arms and puts them around him, he then looks straight ahead.

Through the reflection in the mirror, he can see the way you look at him with fondness in your eyes as you say, "My man is so beautiful."

That makes him feel so admired and loved, he gets it now why you demanded attention and affection from him because he likes it whenever you give him all of that.

Moreover, he likes seeing himself with you, it feels as if you belong there with him.

You keep sticking to his back as he walks to the dressing room, he likes when you're clingy to him but you both need to put some clothes on.

He takes your hand and kisses it, "Come on, it's getting late," he says.

You groan as you pull away and pout at him, "at least, let me see that again," you say.

"What?" He asks in confusion.

You grab the front of his towel and open it, your eyes flick to his member. He decides to let you have a look at it as long as you want.

"My goodness!" You gasp, clicking your tongue in awe.

The way your eyes widen and your mouth hangs open, he can't hold himself from laughing.

He then grabs the towel back from you, "Okay, that's enough."

He grabs your shoulders and turns you around, "Go get dressed!" He orders with a slap on your ass.

You yelp in pain and obey him, "Okay, okay," you tell him while walking to your closet across the room

But that's only because he wants to watch you get dressed.

CHANGBIN: One of the best nights in the retreat [smirks]

Changbin is used to wake up even before the lights on but this morning, it's the other way around, the bright lights wake him up. He had the best sleep of his life last night and it's mostly because of you.

You're lying on your side with your back facing him and he checks if you're still sleeping, "Are you awake, baby?"

There's no answer so he tries to wake you up by placing touches all over you, kisses on your neck and cheeks.

"Baby," he softly calls, nuzzling his nose in your neck.

"Mmh..." you hum, letting him know that you're awake.

Not long after that, you turn around on the bed to face him and look at him with your half-shut eyes.

"Hi, beautiful, angel baby," he says with his thumb caressing your cheek.

There's a crease forming between your eyebrows then you clear your throat before talking, "Where's the kiss?"

He smiles, then leans in close to kiss your nose, "Morning!"

You return the smile and the kiss, putting your lips on his cheek for a long kiss, "Morning," you croak.

Lana lights up in the middle of the room followed by her melodic chime, "Good morning, everyone!"

You both drag yourself out of the duvet and sit on the bed with your backs against the headboard, seeing everyone else is also waking up from their slumber.

"Welcome to your final day in the retreat," Lana says.

Everyone is reacting with a mix of sad coos and cheering, happy and sad at the same time.

"Later on today, I will announce who has won the $133,000 prize fund."

Changbin almost forgot about the money and it's funny that he used to be worried about it, now, it doesn't even matter if he has the chance to win it or not.

"Oh, someone is going to win that money today," Oliver says.

Lana leaves to let everyone get on their days and use the last hours they have in the retreat. You get on his lap and put your hands around him.

Changbin allows himself to put a long kiss on your shoulder and inhales your heavenly scent.

"Who do you think is going to win, babe?" You ask.

He honestly has no idea so he shakes his head, "I don't really care about the money..." he says.

You nod then glare at him, "But we need to win that money."

He brushes your hair aside, "Why?"

"We need the money to book us flights so we can see each other often and have a lot of sex," you explain.

He cracks a laugh at your well-thought plan, you're so cute to him that he can't help but squeeze you like you're his favorite plushie.

CHANGBIN: Lana will choose the right person to win the money but you know, Lana... I won't refuse a check from you [laughs]

The dressing room is where pieces of information are being transferred and you've been in your Changbin bubble for too long you start to miss chatting with the girls.

"Sabine, baby, the orange looks good on you," you compliment her two-piece bikini.

"Thank you, my darling," she says with a wide grin.

"Who do you think is going to win, girls?" Riley asks.

"Well, obviously, we all want to win," Rita says even though she's busy applying mascara.

You laugh at her too honest answer but she's also right because who in the right mind would refuse $133,000? You have enough money but you won't say no to that.

Rita laughs at her answer, "if it's not me then I think it's Liam," she says.

Riley smiles in approval because, of course, she'll rooting for her man. You think both of them deserve it because they grow as a couple.

"But here's the real question," Sabine says.

Everyone's head turned to the end of the vanity table to look at Sabine.

"What are you going to do with $133,000?" Sabine asks with her eyebrow raised higher than the other.

"New vibrators!" Riley answers without a beat, sending the girls screaming in laughter.

A little after lunch, Lana calls everyone to the cabana, and this time, you're less nervous than you usually get whenever she gathers everyone for an announcement.

"Hello, everyone!"

"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies in excitement.

"I have been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," Lana informs.

So many people have shown so much growth during this process and at this point, anyone is eligible to win the money. You're not going to bother to guess, you believe Lana knows which one shows true growth.

"You have all shown great progress but four people in particular stand out for the transformational journeys they have been on."

Four people? You look around and see everyone is getting nervous, probably wondering who those four people are.

"And one of them will take home the prize."

You don't want to get ahead of yourself but you would love for Lana to acknowledge your growth too. You hold Changbin's hand and rest it on your lap.

"The first finalist is..."

There's a slim chance that it's you but you won't mind if it's Changbin, not only that deserve it but his win is going to be your win too.

"Oliver and Sabine."

It's neither of your name but you're happy that the name of one of your closest friends is being called. You happily applaud them as they get up from the sofa.

You reach for Sabine's hand and excitedly shake it, "Congrats, darling!"

Lana continues with her announcement and everyone gets tensed once again.

"The second finalist is..."

Changbin presses a kiss on your shoulder as he tightly holds your hand, reminding you that what you get from this retreat is more valuable than the prize money.

"Liam and Riley."

You also give them a round of applause, they earned it for being the most consistent and strongest couple in the retreat.

But you know what? You're also proud of yourself and at Changbin as well, you went through difficult times and managed to get back together in the end.

YOU: Yes, I know I deserve the money but I'm not jealous, not envious... I'm genuinely happy for them.

Changbin can't hide the sheer disappointment that Lana didn't call his name or yours.

Then he looks at you and your smile, reminding him that the money is not the main thing of this retreat, it's what he gained during the process.

Changbin learned that he should value your thoughts and opinions, he learned that he doesn't always have to be in control of everything and that it's okay to let himself be vulnerable around you.

He came here not expecting to find someone like you and here he is, coming home with the most beautiful girl that he likes so much.

Changbin doesn't care what anyone says, he's winning.

The voting for the winner takes the whole afternoon and everyone goes straight to get ready for the last hurrah.

The dressing room is vivacious tonight, everyone is wearing white to fit the theme. Changbin puts on his white fitted shirt and dark slacks, styling his hair in the bathroom because it's hard to focus when everyone is pacing around the room.

You come to find him there, sitting on the edge of the bathtub to let him finish styling his hair first.

"Babe, how do you fit all those muscles in that shirt?" You ask with a puzzled look on your face.

He chuckles, almost spraying his hand with hairspray instead of his hair. It takes him a moment to focus back on his hair.

When he's done with his hair, he takes your hands and takes a good look at your appearance, dressed in a knitted white dress that hugged your body perfectly.

"You look good in white," he says.

"Mmh," you hum in agreement and hug him.

Changbin kisses your neck and then your shoulder, "you'll look good on our wedding day," he playfully says.

You giggle and look at him, "Put a ring on it first, sir!"

The staff ordered everyone to start heading to the beach to where they'll shoot the last part of the filming. Changbin keeps you steady as you walk in the sand in your heels.

"Ooh... champagne, yes!" Rita exclaims, spotting bottles of champagne sitting on the long wooden benches.

Changbin opens one of them, popping it open so that it fizzles out and drips down the bottle. He fills the glasses and you distribute them to the people sitting on the same bench with you.

"Let's have a toast for Lana!" Nico initiates it.

Everyone raises their glasses in the air and chants in unison, "To Lana!"

CHANGBIN: I'm going home with the most beautiful, the most attractive, the sexiest girl in the retreat, I couldn't ask for more.

YOU: He's just trying to get lucky tonight.

CHANGBIN: Yes. Yes, I am [nods]

YOU: [Laughs]

By the time you finish your first glass of wine, the finalists finally enter the party and everyone is welcoming them with cheering and applause.

Lana chimes and it's for the last time, ever.

"It is time to announce the winner of the $133,000 prize."

The two couples are standing, awaiting their fate and whether they will come home with the money or not.

"Your fellow retreat guests have voted and I have the results," Lana announces.

You're aware of how deserving everyone here but you voted for Sabine and Oliver. Maybe it's a bit biased because she's closest to you out of everyone here besides Changbin but it's also because you knew their journey as a couple.

"The person leaving with $133,000 is..."

You look at Sabine and have your fingers crossed for her, feeling proud of her whether they win the money or not.

"Oliver and Sabine," Lana finally announces.

YOU: Sabine and I were the first to enter the villa and look at her now, she won! I couldn't be happier for her [squeals]

Changbin watches as you break into a run to hug Sabine for her win while Changbin has to patiently wait to get his turn to congratulate the couple.

"Congrats, man!" Changbin says as he exchanges a quick hug with Oliver.

"Thanks, Bin!" Oliver says with a grin plastered on his face.

He hugs Sabine next, earnestly congratulating her on the win.

The staff hands them a new bottle of champagne to pop open together, Sabine and Oliver are bouncing on their feet as they're spraying everyone with the wine.

Lana chimes in for one last time for one last announcement, "Your time at the retreat is over and the rules no longer apply."

This is the moment he's been waiting for, Changbin has to part the group to look for you and finds you standing next to Sabine.

"Come here!" He says with his hands gesturing you to come closer.

You're smiling as you walk up to him and go straight into his arms, "This better be good," you mutter to him.

Changbin may have waited long for this but he has to calm himself down, he wants to make the most of this kiss knowing how much he deserves it.

He places his hands on each one of your jaws and takes a moment to look at your face, a face that he can't get tired of looking at and admire.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" You impatiently say.

There's only one right way to answer you and that is by kissing you, kissing you like it's the first time all over again. He can feel the sparks flying and the chemistry is electrifying, making him feel so alive.

When he lets go, he keeps his head close to yours, trying to imprint this special moment in his head as one that he'll remember forever.

Most importantly, Changbin is now ready to give you everything you want.

YOU: From day one, I always knew that we have a connection, but this retreat helps us gain that emotional connection and deepen it.

CHANGBIN: And it's only going to get deeper now.

YOU: [Looks at Changbin]

CHANGBIN: Like... literally.

YOU: [Bursts out laughing]

Support my blog by kind reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!

taglist: @svintsandghosts @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @bluenights1899 @elizalabs3 @avyskai @is2cb97 @simeonswhore @marvelous-llama @linovely @jisungsleftcheek @hanjisbeloved @knowleeknow @army-stay-noel @bigsobs4skz @toplinehyunjin @channies-luv @foxinnie8 @biribarabiribbaem @dalamjisung @moasworld @sherryblossom @fawnpeaks @lukeys-giggle @obeythemasters @primoppang @devilsmatches @skz-streamer @freckleboilix @idkluvutellme @laylasbunbunny @cutiespaghetti @yourmercibeaucoupsblog @hanjisunginc

#stray kids smut #skz smut #changbin smut #changbin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids scenarios #skz sceanrios #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz fics #skz fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fics #kpop fanfics #too hot to handle series

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shangri-la-rights · 5 months ago

Text

You Have Racism In Your Teeth, Or The Moral Neutrality of Accidental Bias

Picture this:

You made a fun little fandom post, and you’re going about your day when you suddenly receive a message from someone you don’t know: they’re telling you that something you said in that post you made was a little racist.

You can feel that squeeze of guilt in your chest—you hadn’t wanted to offend someone! It was just an innocent post, and you didn’t mean it that way.

But… how do you respond? You don't want everyone to think of you as racist.

No Harm, No Foul...?

We've noticed that in the Keepblr community, as well as the larger world, there have been a lot of issues surrounding accidental racism and how people respond to it.

In today’s society, cancel culture has made racism into a buzzword

Because of that, people tend to associate doing something or saying something racist with being a bad person or evil, not caring about PoC or social justice issues, and certain political alignments

Therefore, when someone is accused of doing something or saying something racist (note how that language implies criminality), they often get defensive because they don't think they're a bad person, they had good intentions, and they make an such effort to avoid racism that it doesn't seem fair to consider them racist

We waste a lot of time getting defensive/arguing that we are good people instead of taking criticism, learning from the experience, and moving forward.

Shifting Gears: Get Neutral

We as a society need to get more comfortable with the idea of accidental racism

This does not mean that we should be more accepting of racism, especially purposeful racism!

We should, however, stop assigning accidental racism a morality

Here's a way of thinking about it often referred to as "You have racism in your teeth."

Think of saying or doing something with racial bias as comparable to having spinach in your teeth or toilet paper stuck to your shoe

You might be pretty embarrassed or uncomfortable when someone first points it out to you

On the other hand, you're grateful someone told you, so you could fix it rather than continue walking around without knowing

No one puts spinach in their teeth or sticks toilet paper to their shoe on purpose, and even people who might have seen you with it are not going to jump to conclusions about why it's there; it's nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed of

Also, like accidentally saying something racist, having spinach in your teeth is something that happens to everyone sometimes, and doesn't necessarily mean anything about you as a person (i.e that you're bad and awful, that you hate PoC, or that you are irredeemable and unforgivable for it)

Rather than assuming the person who let you know about the spinach/toilet paper is trying to shame you or make a comment about your moral character, you thank them and go fix it

Similarly, try to control your kneejerk reaction to be defensive or to feel guilty and instead focus on learning from your mistake

You're Not the Only One

We grow up surrounded by racist institutions and history, and therefore all have biases we need to unlearn

Especially given how little people learn and retain about racism in academic settings or in real life, it's not realistic to expect someone to know everything/what's biased and what's not

Everyone messes up, including PoC!

We are all born into a part of society where their view on certain people is biased—take Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, for example

In her TED talk The Danger of a Single Story, Adichie discusses how, even as an educated Black woman from Nigeria, she too had bias.

When she went to college in America, her roommate, Adichie was surprised to discover the single story that had been presented to her roommate of Africa:

That they lived in poverty, without the knowledge of how to operate electrical devices, and—primarily—that Adichie, as an African woman, had grown up in lack of what her roommate had grown up with.

“What struck me was this: She had felt sorry for me even before she saw me. Her default position toward me, as an African, was a kind of patronizing, well-meaning pity. My roommate had a single story of Africa: a single story of catastrophe. In this single story, there was no possibility of Africans being similar to her in any way, no possibility of feelings more complex than pity, no possibility of a connection as human equals.”

Even she was not immune to this single story: when she went to Guadalajara, Mexico, and found herself surprised that they were people with lives, rather than what the news had convinced her was their sole identity— “the abject immigrant” (08:45). With this realization, she felt great shame.

In the same way, many of us grow up with a similar bias towards other people. Many of us also grow up believing in a single story about other people.

And the single story, as Adichie says, is the birth of the stereotype—something that is not untrue, but which is taken as the only story about people, and bars us from true connection with one another as equals.

And yes, we may feel great shame about it. It isn’t fun to find out you’ve made mistakes, BUT fear and anxiety shouldn’t be the end of being aware of our own unintended racism.

So... What Now?

Unlearning racism, external and internal, isn’t easy until we realize it really is something that we have to manage, just like dental hygiene

Art: Actively seek out artists of color, whether that be authors, directors, actors, etc.

Fortunately we are all human beings who love making art, so once you start looking you’ll be able to find them!

(Also: feel free to ask us for recs!)

Experience: Talking to the people in those communities and realizing them as real people helps!

(Remember, though—it’s not your friends of color’s jobs to educate you. Don’t pressure them into answering your questions, and don’t expect them to be your diversity board at all times; first and foremost, they’re your friends, not your anti-racism babysitters.)

And when it comes to realizing that you messed up:

Know that you’re not the only one who’s made mistakes

Accept and understand what you did, apologize, correct yourself where you can, and move forward.

Works Cited/Recommended Resources:

“The Danger of a Single Story”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbdxeFcQtaU

“Tissue On My Shoe”: https://uucolumbia.net/tissue-on-my-shoe/

#keepblr #kotlc #kotlc discussion #racism #shangri-la-rights presents

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dreamofdawn · 2 years ago

Note

Haiwo, Chia here ! I see you want a request !

May I request for comfort? , With any Xsoleil boys or you're comfortable with ! Fluff? Too perhaps? If you don't mind ofc ! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Thank you !! 💜 (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

✧✧You ask and you shall receive✧✧

Main paring: Ver Vermillion x Reader/You

Au: none

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Ver Vermillion, Reader, Kotoka Torahime (Appeared briefly)

Type: Headcanon, [ONE SHOT], or Series

A/n: Hi! I'm actually a big fan of your works and it means a lot to have you request something so here you go<3. Sorry if it's a bit ooc.

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

⁠☆EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT ⁠☆⁠

'WHY IS YOUR SCORE SO LOW?!'

'YOU USELESS SHIT, DID I RAISE YOU LIKE THIS?!'

'Why are your grades dropping again Y/n.'

'WHY DID I EVEN GIVE BIRTH TO A USELESS DAUGHTER LIKE YOU?!'

'You should be more like you cousins.'

'Im doing this because your my daughter and I love you.'

...LIES

"Y/N! The president is looking for you!" Kotoka yelled as she went to the H/c girl sitting on the bench reading a book. Y/n looked up from her book before shutting it and stood up from the bench. "He said that he wanted to speak with you about something."

"Ah I see, thank you Kotoka" she said before waving at her and taking her leave. '...what did she mean important though? Did something happened?...

Did I do something?'

'okay stop that Y/n it's probably something else it couldn't be that bad right?'

Time skip

Y/n stood in front of the door leading to her boyfriends office, she knocked on the door waiting for a few seconds before hearing a small 'come in!' she then twisted the door knob before entering the office then closing the door behind her.

Ver Vermilion was sitting in his desk with a bunch of paperwork on his desk, he looked up from the papers to look at his girlfriend. "Love, how are you today?"

"I'm doing fine, how about you? I hope your taking breaks from all this paperwork." She said as she took a sit on the couch looking at him. Ver stood up from his chair before coming over to her to sit with her.

"I'm doing alright, don't worry about me. Anyways I do have something to talk to you." He said as he looked at her, Y/n nodded her head. Nervous that's what she's feeling this was nothing new to her.

"Oh sure what is?" She said trying to hide the nervousness slowly going in her veins. 'Is he disappointed in me? Did I do something? Does he want to break up with me?..' dark thoughts slowly swirled in her head.

Y/n grew up in a toxic home, her parents didn't loved her that much as she was viewed in their eyes as a failure in the family. She got used to everything, she didn't know what true parental love was, she tried everything to gain their love and approval like her cousins did so quickly. Yet no matter what she did nothing, her efforts were nothing and her time was wasted for that. All she wanted was love yet even that her parents couldn't give her.

'"./n....y.../.n Y/N!" She snapped back from reality and looked at her lover as he looked at her back with concern swirling around his beautiful eyes. "Are..you okay? You were spacing out when I said I have something to talk to you about.."

"ah, sorry I guess I haven't slept well yet because of the exam tomorrow." She said "anyways what is it something you wanted to...say?"

"..."ver sat there silently as he continued to look at her, concerned and worried for her. It's true that she has an exam tomorrow but that doesn't mean she has to sacrifice her health because of it. "Y/n..are you okay?"

Silence engulfed the room as both looked at each other. Y/n then looked down the floor her hands clenched on her pants/skirt before tears slowly fell down her face. Ver looked alerted before slowly hugging her as tears continued to fall from her face.

" 'sob' Ver I can't..'sob' everything is too much..'sob' " she continued to sob while she hugged Ver back shanking. Ver was the least to say very worried, he hugged her tighter as she continued to have a break down.

"shhhh everything will be alright, don't worry I'm here. Let everything out, it's okay I know it's hard for you. But as long as I'm here nothing can hurt you." He reassured her while rubbing her back. He knew her past, knew how her parents treated her, how she was nothing but a 'disappoinment'.

The two stayed there until she fell asleep from crying. "I'm here love, you are anything but a disappointment. So please rest and everything will be alright."

Ver looked at her soul to see if it healed. A few days ago he saw her soul looking dull and dark he was worried because of this but since both of them were very busy he couldn't help her soon. He was glad that her soul has turned into the usual bright one.

Her figure relaxed like a big burden was removed from her shoulders as she continued to sleep.

"Everything will be alright"

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

A/n: wow another fic done. Sorry if it's short I couldn't think alot here And sorry if it's a little cringe but I hope all of you enjoy it!!

#xsoleil #xsoleil x reader #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader #Fluff #Hurt/comfort #luxiem x reader #ver Vermillion #ver vermillion x reader

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sonnyboy7son · 2 years ago

Text

Taken For Granted - Pt. 1

“Babe, where’s my nike socks?” Son shouted from the second floor asking his wife, Jieun, who’s preparing breakfast downstairs in the kitchen.

“They must be in the socks drawer. I never put it anywhere else,” Jieun said while cutting the fruits for Son’s morning smoothie. Son is a creature of habit - his daily breakfast consists of white rice, hot soup, 3 types of Korean side dishes, brown rice tea and a smoothie containing apple, kale, banana, and a small block of tofu for protein. He also demanded his soup to be freshly cooked every morning. That means no leftover from dinner the day before.

“If they are in the socks drawer, I wouldn’t have to ask you, would I?” Son said sarcastically.

Jieun quickly rinsed her hands and wiped them on her apron before running upstairs to help her husband find his socks. In their bedroom, Son was standing with hands on his hips in front of the drawers. His face visibly annoyed. Jieun quickly dug into the drawer and within 1 minute, she found the socks buried at the back of the drawer.

“Here you go,” she said while she gave the socks to her husband. Son snatched the socks from her hands rather roughly. “Next time put it where I can easily find them. You have wasted my time,” he spat before making his way downstairs to the dining room to have his breakfast.

Son didn’t use to be like this. As everyone know, Son is one of the most likeable soccer player in the world. People say no matter which team you are rooting for, you won’t be able to resist Son’s charm. He used to treat Jieun like a queen too, up until their 2nd year of marriage. Son, being the family man that he is, wanted them to have a child. However, after 2 years of trying, for some reasons Jieun just wouldn’t get pregnant. Later they found out that Jieun is diagnosed with endometriosis which caused the fertility problem. It is a treatable disease, however despite their best efforts, they are still childless 3 years into their marriage.

Jieun blamed herself all the time and in the beginning, Son will try to convince her that it is not her fault and that he’s fine with their current situation. However, as time went by he grew more and more frustrated, especially after seeing many of his teammates brought their children and spouses to the games. Son’s reassuring words were soon replaced by his spiteful remarks.

After composing herself, Jieun made her way downstairs to finish up the smoothie. Son has already started his breakfast while browsing his phone. He didn’t even ask her to join him for breakfast so she just quietly continued to finish making the smoothie and serving it to her husband.

“I’ll be home late today. Or I might stay over at Dele’s. Don’t wait up for me,” Son said, not looking up from his phone.

“OK,” Jieun answered dejectedly while washing the dishes. Today is her birthday and she couldn’t help but to reminisce about the past when Son would take her for an evening picnic or a fine dining restaurant to celebrate her birthday. Now, he wouldn’t even wish her a happy birthday. She hoped it was because he forgot about it and not because he was deliberately trying to ignore the occasion.

After Son was done with breakfast, he quickly put on his gear and went out the door for practice. Once she heard Son’s car driving out the garage, Jieun rinsed her soapy hands, turned off the faucet, sat on the floor, and cried her heart out. She knew she deserved this - she deserved all of the hurtful remarks her supposed husband threw at her. She has failed as a wife, as a woman. She couldn’t fulfill her one true duty which is to bring life into this world. Although it is painful, sometimes she hoped Son would just divorce her so that he can move on and find someone else who can give him a child. In fact, everyday she’s just waiting for him to serve her with the papers.

Suddenly, Jieun heard her phone rang from the living room. She wiped her tears and made her way to the living room to pick it up. It was a video call from her sister - probably going to wish her a happy birthday. She hung up and called her back using voice call. Jieun didn’t want her sister to worry which she will if she saw her crying face.

“Hey, why did you hang up?” her sister asked from across the line.

“Oh, there’s some issues with my camera so I won’t be able to do video calls for a while,” Jieun lied.

“Are you serious? Your husband is one of the most famous soccer player in the world and yet he couldn’t buy his wife a new phone?” her sister scoffed. She knew by accident that Son has been treating Jieun badly. She came over to surprise Jieun for her birthday last year and she heard Son scolding the shit out her at 8 AM in the morning. His reason? His soup was too salty. If Jieun didn’t hold her back, she would’ve beat Son’t pretty face up.

“Haha yeah no I asked him not to because this phone is still working well. It’s just the camera,” Jieun lied again.

There was a moment of silence before her sister said, “Is it because you just cried and you didn’t want me to see your crying face?”

She knew Jieun too well. For a moment Jieun was so tempted to confide in her but she knew that it will only bring more problems for her. “No. Can we please let it go?” Jieun pleaded.

Her sister sighed, “Alright, whatever. I just called to wish you happy birthday, you old woman!”

Jieun smiled. She couldn’t ask for a better sister. If Jieun didn’t have her sister’s support, she probably would’ve unalived herself at one point. After all, there’s only so much a woman can take.

“Thank you so much, Ji-an. Don’t know what I would do without you,” Jieun said, sincerely.

“Did mom call?” Ji-an asked.

“No,” Jieun answered dejectedly. Like Son, Jieun used to have a good relationship with her mom. Jieun used to be her prized daughter especially after she married South Korea’s living nation treasure, Son Heungmin. But, after her mom heard about her fertility problem, she felt embarrassed and repeatedly apologised to Son and his family as if the illness is within her daughter’s control. She started treating Jieun badly too and even asked Son to divorce Jieun in front of her face once. Just like with her husband, Jieun swallowed all of the abuse because she thought she deserved it.

“But, that’s OK though. I have you!” Jieun quickly continued, not wanting to worry her sister with her problems.

“Seriously, though. I don’t understand what is her problem. It’s not like you are the one who consciously chose not to conceive. The illness is not your fault,” Ji-an said.

“Hey, hey, don’t be upset please. I don’t even care anymore, so you shouldn’t too, OK?” Jieun assured her sister. It’s true - she didn’t care anymore about all of the abuse that she’s geeting from both her husband and her own mother. But not caring doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

They spoke on the phone for a while, catching up on each other’s lives before she let Ji-an go. Jieun felt a little bit better after conversing with her little sister and so she went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up.

—---------------------------------------

In the locker room, the boys have just finished their training for the day. Son was sitting shirtless, browsing his phone, trying to cool off his body before he’s going to shower.

“OK, guys! I’m gonna go now,” Lucas Moura announced to the room while quickly packing up his belongings.

“Why the hurry?” Son asked.

“It’s my wife’s birthday today. We’re going to have a nice dinner and then you know,” Lucas winked and the room erupted in laughter and a few gagging sounds. “You guys are just jealous,” Lucas laughed.

“Hey, Sonny, aren’t you going to go too? I remember your wife’s birthday is on the same day as Lucas’ wife’s, isn’t it?” Hugo Lloris asked.

Son was caught offguard. He completely forgot. But, honestly even if he remembered, he wouldn’t do anything about it. As much as he hates to admit it, he has lost his feelings towards his wife as his frustration grew due to their circumstance. He knew it wasn’t her fault - it’s not like she had the choice to have the illness. It’s just that he felt like she’s not trying hard enough to be better. He has paid so much money for her treatments. Fed her the best foods that the doctors said can support her condition. But all of that are wasted efforts. They still couldn’t have a child to this day.

“Nah, she’s going to celebrate with her family,” Son lied. He stood up and made his way to the shower room so that he wouldn’t have to answer any more questions about his wife.

—-----------------------

At home, Jieun had just finished showering when her phone rang. It was Larissa Saad, Lucas Moura’s wife. Seeing her name, Jieun quickly remembered that Larissa’s birthday is on the same day as hers. She felt bad for not calling earlier and she quickly picked up her phone.

“Hi Larissa! Happy birthday!” Jieun said.

“Happy birthday to you too! It’s a good thing our birthdays are on the same date. Otherwise, I’m really bad with people’s birthdays and you would probably hate me for forgetting yours,” Larissa joked.

“Nonsense! I can never hate you,” Jieun laughed.

“Anyway, I’m sure Son has something up his sleeve to celebrate your birthday, am I right?” Larissa teased.

Jieun was stunned. Again, in the spur of the moment, she was so tempted to tell Larissa the truth - that her husband forgot, or chose to forget, about her birthday. That she has been treated badly by her so-called husband and that she’ll be spending her birthday evening watching Christmas movies on Netflix in her living room. But, of course she knew better.

“Well actually…” Jieun paused for a bit. “Son has an event he has to attend to tonight, so I’ll be spending my birthday alone at home.”

“What?! Oh my days… I’m going to spank Son when I meet him next time.” Larissa said, making Jieun laugh.

“You know what, no best friend of mine is going to spend her birthday alone, miserable at home…”

“Who said I’ll be miserable?” Jieun defended herself, even though she knew that it was indeed going to be quite a miserable and lonely night.

“You can be in denial all you want, OK. But Lucas and I are taking you out. Let’s celebrate our birthday together!” Larissa said excitedly.

“Oh… No, please, don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t want to ruin your special night with Lucas. I’m sure he has a lot of special things that he has prepared especially for you,” Jieun said pleadingly.

“Look, Lucas can have me after midnight, but it’s my birthday. So I decide who I want to spend it with and it’s with both you and Lucas.”

“But…”

“Oh, come on…” Larissa continued to persuade Jieun to join her and Lucas for dinner. It took a lot of convincing from Larissa’s side, but fortunately in the end Jieun finally agreed. Larissa texted her the hotel’s name where they’ll be having dinner and Jieun quickly went to the bedroom to get ready. As much as she hates intruding Lucas and Larissa’s special night, she must admit, it does feel good to have someone throw a special event to celebrate her birthday.

—-------------

“I’m really sorry again for intruding your special night with Larissa. I’m sure you would have wanted to have the dinner with only the two of you,” Jieun apologised for the numerous times to Lucas after they are seated at their table in the fancy restaurant.

“Stop it, Jieun. If you keep apologizing like this, Larissa is going to beat the hell out of me once we go home later,” Lucas teased, earning him a few light slaps on the arm from Larissa. “Besides, Larissa said you were going to spend your birthday alone at home. I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy,” Lucas jokingly shivered at the thought.

Jieun laughed at Lucas’ antics.

“But jokes aside, I thought Son said you were going to celebrate your birthday with your parents?” Lucas asked.

Jieun was taken back. ‘So he did remember…’ Jieun thought to herself. But, of course he would pull off such lie just to avoid spending time with her.

“Oh… right, yeah I was, but turned out my mom didn’t feel so well and my sister has to do an overtime at work so we cancelled the plan,” Jieun lied. She was amazed at herself by how easy these lies keep rolling off her tongue the more time she spent married to Son.

Larissa and Lucas nodded and proceeded to change the topic.

Dinner went well and they’re up to dessert now. Jieun excused herself to go the bathroom which is located right across the hotel’s lobby. She was passing by the lobby when she saw a familiar back view. It’s the back of a man that she saw every night before she goes to sleep because he now sleeps facing away from her even though he used to hold her in his arms, saying that her scent calms him down. It cannot be, she thought to herself. Because the man in the lobby was holding another woman’s arm. The woman is gorgeous - long legs, slender arms - she looked as if she just stepped out of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue book. But the man, despite wearing a black hoodie with a cap on, is unmistakably Son Heungmin. Her husband. The man who’s supposed to only be holding her arm and nobody else’s.

Jieun stood frozen, unable to process her emotion. Until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, I thought you wanted to go to the loo?” Larissa asked. She followed Jieun’s eyesight towards the direction of the man and the woman who are now standing at the receptionist desk, looking to check in. “What the actual fuck.” Larissa excalimed.

“It’s him, isn’t it. I’m no imagining things right, Larissa?” Jieun’s voice getting weaker and weaker by the words. Larissa, fuming, went back to the restaurant and dragged Lucas out and pointed him towards Son’s direction.

“Is that… Son?” Lucas asked in dibelieve.

#son heung min imagines #son heung-min oneshot #son heung min fanfic #son heung min one shot #heung min son imagine #football one shot #footballer imagines #football imagines #football fic #son heung min blurb #son heung min #son heung min x reader

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outpost51 · 10 months ago

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7 snippets 7 people

tagged by @writernopal over here tyyyyy i love this one

tagging: @sparatus @thetrashbagswasteland @omniblades-and-stars @sunflaresspace @mxanigel @bambino1294 @westernlarch

have a few of my favorite bits from unlikely adventures. CW: gore, violence, smut, the usual suspects

CH 2: My Sister's Keeper

Dillon was eight when her parents divorced. It wasn’t nasty. No one yelled. Darren didn’t demand custody, but Cheryl politely requested it, and he signed the papers without a second thought. He even gave up the house, choosing instead to stay in a much more reasonable two-bedroom apartment downtown, closer to his job with the law firm.

But she was eight, and all she ever knew about love she learned from her parents, and all the storybooks ended at ‘happily ever after,’ not ‘and then years later, when they realized they only got hitched because the princess was fifteen and pregnant and the prince was scared of her daddy’s shotgun, there was a civil division of community property and they never spoke again.’ A father should never be his daughter’s first taste of heartbreak, but Darren always was an overachiever. He got to put that trophy right up on his Dillon wall next to ‘Dada was her first word’ and ‘she took her first steps for me.’

She really was a daddy’s girl before, thrashing to his classic metal CDs in the basement and trying to out-belch each other at the dinner table. And after all that, he didn’t even fight for custody. He didn’t fight for her. Dillon saw it as her father wanting nothing to do with her and Daisy, even if he had free visitation rights and took them to the movies and the mall and theme parks. She was always shut down and distant during those trips, believing them to be a farcical attempt at bribing her and her sister, or a token effort because her mom asked him to.

CH 3: Death Doesn't Give Third Chances

“Your dad doesn’t remember.”

“Remember what?”

“That your sister died.” Cheryl flipped through a few pages. Raised her eyebrows a few times. She set the book down and went down to the basement, leaving Dillon alone at the counter with a massive stack of pancakes. Unattended. Four fell prey to her grabby hands before Cheryl returned.

With a severed head, its face frozen in a scream.

That she promptly whacked against the counter over and over until it cracked open.

“You cut up bodies three nights out of the month, pickle,” Cheryl chided as her daughter lost her pancakes in the sink.

Dillon looked at her mother with a mix of shock and disgust. “Yeah, I cut ‘em up, I don’t brutalize them.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, it’s not like it’s bleeding.” Cheryl dropped the pulpy remains in her daughter’s outstretched hands. “Do something with that, please. I need to scramble this before your sister comes back down.”

With her mind completely dissociated from her physical form, Dillon sputtered, “Like what? I can’t just throw this in the trash!”

Cheryl exhaled through her nose. “Of course not, that’s wasteful. Put it in a bag and put it back in the freezer. I’ll boil it later to make freezie-pops.” She scoffed at Dillon’s continued perturbation. “What? Werewolves get hot, too. It’s too much work to fill a kiddie pool with ice for Gus to roll in every time we go on a run. Get some of my bacon while you’re down there.”

Dillon inhaled to respond, but swallowed the thought at her mother’s look.

CH 4: Like Moths

“Oi, Lawson, fuck off,” Moira barked. She had such an elegant way with words.

“Or what, freak? You gonna hex me?” Troy made a dismissive gesture. “Go back to your coffin, the sun’s still out.”

Dillon could almost hear the creak of Moira’s jaw as she clenched it. The pentacle necklace that never left her neck rose and fell with every angry breath, flashing a warning in the afternoon sun. Dillon stepped up behind her best friend. Her belly button barely cleared the top of the table, but she could still mean mug the shit out of them. Moira didn’t need help taking on six high schoolers, it was the thought that counted.

“Oh look, it’s the littlest Monroe, too,” Troy’s best friend, Conner Stevens, drawled. He didn’t move from his relaxed drape against the back of the booth. “What’re you gonna do, cut yourself at us?”

The bar for being the bigger person suddenly got a lot lower. Moira snarled over the table. Dillon put a gentle hand on her bicep. “No, Troy,” she chuffed. “I’m not. But you wanna know what I can do?” She hopped up on the table, jostling his drink with the jolt and wobble of the table. “You remember what happened to Brett?”

That got Troy’s attention. “What, you gonna pull a bear outta your ass? Wouldn’t surprise me, if you’re as big of a whore as your s—” His voice was suddenly cut off with a wet choke.

“Dill—”

“He brought Daisy into it, Moira,” she spat. “His ass is fair game now.” Her head hurt and her chest tightened as her emotions rose higher, but this time she was ready for it, and greeted the pain like an old friend. Passing out would so be worth making that little worm regret even thinking Daisy’s name.

Conner shook Troy’s shoulder, but it was no use. He was fully choking on a massive lump lodged firmly in his esophagus. His blond girlfriend-of-the-week pulled him into a Heimlich position — she was a lifeguard at the community pool, Dillon thought — and on the fourth violent thrust of her hands against his diaphragm, the foreign object in his throat finally dislodged itself.

A clump of daisies the size of her fist slopped wetly onto his half-finished burger.

Dillon felt something wet trickle from her nose. Worth it. “Now get the fuck away from our table before I pick something with thorns.”

CH 5: Come, Devil

"The show hasn't even begun, mon petit aperitif, I still have my pants on." He took his time turning on the shower, fiddling with the temperature, pulling out towels — all while letting Dillon dangle over his shoulder, and when she decided grumbling wouldn't get her anywhere and instead caught one wing in her hands to bite the sensitive membrane, he reminded her that his hands weren't the only disciplinary tools at his disposal, wrapping his tail around her arms and yanking her upright. How she still managed to maintain enough dignity to look angry with her pants and underwear hanging around her ankles, he didn't know, but he liked it a fair share more than he was willing to admit. It's not like anything was fully on display either, thanks to the massive shirt drowning her in fabric, but that was easily remedied. He grabbed the hem and made to rip it free—

"Don't tear my shirt, please." The quiet earnestness of her plea was jarring in the wake of her snarling fit, enough so that it turned his muscles to stone and forced him to meet her eyes. There was a flicker of fear in their hollow depths, suddenly so cold and lifeless, had he not felt her pulse fluttering against the underside of his tail, he'd wonder if she still had one at all. "Daisy bought it for me. It was the first concert we went to together."

Well, fuck. Zadimus set her down and stepped back, watching her kick off her other clothes and slowly, reverently strip off her shirt and fold it on the counter. "You really do love your sister, don't you?"

The fire went right back into her eyes as she looked up with raw determination and something he couldn't place, the sort of vicious familial passion he'd never observed in a member of his own kind; it drove otherwise pacifistic mothers to violent, gruesome vengeance killings, and made brothers fight more fiercely for — and sometimes against — each other than they would in any other circumstance. "I poured my soul into the ground so she could climb back out of it," she spat. "What do you think?"

"I think we're going to get along brilliantly," he replied, then pulled her into his arms again to crush their mouths together. The kiss was short-lived; she drew back and he worried he'd crossed a boundary somewhere, but she thrust her thumbs into his mouth and pried his jaws open.

"So that's what it was!"

"Whah?"

She grinned in triumph. "Your tongue's pierced, you wily fucking devil."

Zadimus batted her hand away. “I have other things pierced, you know, if that’s what really gets you going,” he drawled. “But as it stands, Miss Monroe, you have a filthy fucking mouth and it’s high time someone cleaned up your act.”

CH 8: Bullet on the Tracks

“Did you grab the bacon from up here or downstairs?”

Zadimus pointed to a plate of bacon that looked leaner than usual. “Downstairs for me,” he said, then pointed at the pan sizzling in front of him, “and up here for you.” He dumped the bacon onto a paper-towel-covered plate. “Your mother has a good system, all the cooking vessels are marked so there’s no risk of cross-contamination.”

Dillon nodded, reaching for a slice of her bacon. “Yeah, she adapted pretty quick— fuck!”

“You just saw me take that out of the pan, dipshit,” Zadimus scoffed at Dillon’s pitiful puppy eyes, then pulled her injured finger from her mouth. “It’s just a bit irritated, you’ll live.”

“But it hurts,” she pouted.

With a sigh, he ran his tongue over her finger before resuming his prior task of cracking eggs into the pan. “Better?”

Dillon gaped at the tingling still chasing away the angry red of a minor burn. “Wh— how.”

“Magic.”

“In your… spit.”

“Ah, no.” Zadimus tossed the empty carton into the recycling and the shells into the compost bin. “In general. But my hands were full,” he chuffed with a wink, squeezing her thigh.

Dillon scrunched up her nose to hide her grin. “Letch.”

“Careful, Dillon,” he teased. “I might think you like me and my brazen ways.”

She smacked his bicep, but the smile on her face lit the room and the flush of her cheeks warmed it. Zadimus released her into the kitchen so she could go about fixing coffee, as their infernal, unnecessarily complicated device refused to tell him its secrets. He was buying a machine for himself the next chance he got, something with as few buttons as possible and a normal filter. He got so lost in his fantasy of simplicity he almost missed her question. “Where are we going today?”

It didn’t help that she had half a bagel shoved into her mouth. How someone so small managed to open her jaw so wide— he shook off that train of thought before it could go anywhere that might cause another delay this morning.

CH 8: Bullet on the Tracks

So Zadimus let Dillon poke and prod his fading bruises; the single rib fracture that had started righting itself, the kink in his tail he’d already straightened in the back seat with someone’s hoodie in his mouth to muffle the grunt of pain it had wrung from him. That one smarted a bit, and he gave her a token wince so she’d have something to fuss over. He had been around long enough to know mortals needed to fret and tend to each other after a fight, to regain some control over something when everything else had been more or less out of it. He would never know the fear of a final death, but he understood it, and he had felt the stain it left behind once or twice in his thousand years.

He lifted the pads of her fingers to his lips and kissed the worry from each one, letting the tingle of magic distract her from their ordeal long enough to steal another kiss from her mouth. “See? I’m fine.”

He might have been, but she wasn’t — with her worrying hands at last sated to stillness, Zadimus could see where blood had dried beneath her fingernails, where boiling ichor had stained her knuckles an angry red, where she’d cut her lip either with her own teeth or while she was ripping the wraith apart. Flecks of darkness stubbornly clung to the outer edges of her irises. There was that glimpse again: scarlet braid, leather and metal, sturdy hips and silk-over-steel thighs, and the most vibrantly green eyes he’d ever seen.

There was nothing hard about Dillon except her damned head, but she hadn’t lived through war, famine, pestilence — only a pale horse roamed her pastures, yet she was neither afraid of its bray nor its bite. Her struggles all lived in her heart, and somehow it had still remained as chiffon-soft as the rest of her.

He’d recognize those eyes anywhere, though. Like sunlight reflecting off a dragon’s scales, sharp as a sword and twice as lethal, and when he found himself caught in her gaze—

“Zadimus?”

—the tenderness stabbed him with want so deep, so fathomless, he thought it might actually kill him.

Her lip split again when he crushed his mouth against hers. Blood and moss. She tasted like blood and moss and something ancient, something wild. Energy sparked against his teeth, a volley of arrows meant to take out his fortress defenses, and the energy within him answered in kind, pouring over her tongue and down her throat.

The backs of his thighs collided with the kitchen table. Fuck it. Zadimus let her push him back, spreading his wings across the surface and over the sides like a tablecloth. “People eat here, Dillon,” he teased, even as he helped her climb over him.

She bit his nipple.

Interlude II: Bad Blood

“Pamela Foster,” the newcomer clipped. “Castlebury Park. Sorry I’m late, the homeowner’s association meeting ran long because some people don’t seem to understand neighborhood beautification standards exist for a reason, and a black garage door is an eyesore.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Acheron,” Sterling hissed. His chair scraped as he rose, knocking into his hovering servant. If he noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. “This? This is the fabled new bloodline? What’s she going to do, ask to speak to the manager?”

“Mister La Croix and I have already spoken, actually, thank you.” Pam took her seat at the end of the table. Acheron didn’t miss the mild panic flitting across Jedediah’s face and the subtle scoot of his chair away from her. Interesting. “We’re here because of my turning, correct?”

“A completely new bloodline hasn’t appeared since the seventeenth century, just mutated from older ones, so this is… most unusual,” Idris explained. “We’re sure you’re perfectly capable, but--”

“But what? I sent in my curriculum vitae, you’re all aware of my leadership capabilities, and further--”

“A leader ain’t just a few fancy words on a piece of paper, Pammy.”

Pam’s eyes narrowed and her mouth pressed into a thin line. Acheron felt his entire body threaten to implode into itself to escape. “Do not interrupt me, Mister… the Dragonheart, is it? Or so help me, you will find out why I was chosen as this line’s progenitor.”

Hagar’s mouth quirked up into an intrigued grin. How long had it been since another member challenged him like that? How long since anyone had?

“Further, I have submitted my territory demarcation through the appropriate channels, so I hardly think an entire meeting is necessary. I’m sure you all have better things to do,” the newcomer concluded. Her shock of bleached-blonde hair seemed to move in a breeze only she could feel. What little of it could move, anyway; the pixie cut looked sprayed and gelled and spiked to within an inch of its life.

Her conclusion once more erupted the room into cacophonous bickering, and again Hagar fired his gun to silence it before Acheron could even raise his voice. A second chunk of plaster joined the first. Pam did not look happy about it, and wouldn’t you know, the big brute actually flinched.

“Can we at least pretend we belong in our respective positions and act with a smidgen of civility? We aren’t werewolves,” Acheron snapped. Seconds later, he was clawing at an invisible hand constricting tighter and tighter around his throat.

“The woman I intend to take as my mate is a werewolf, Mister La Croix.” Pam’s eyes glowed a deep, dusky red. Her clothes swept up in the quickening breeze. “Tread carefully.”

#my fic #sneeps.txt #unlikely adventures #the arsonist chronicles

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curiouscompanions · 11 months ago

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Entry #3

Hello, Reader. Greetings, Reader. And once again, I welcome you, dear Reader. Yet again, we meet here in one of these cursed text files, which you so stubbornly try to cure of... what was wrong with them, anyway? Were they really corrupted by some horrible virus, or were all these glitches covering them up nothing but fake, were they my last attempt to do everything possible to prevent my personal information from getting in the wrong hands? It doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is your choice. And you have made your choice; you decided to keep reading. I won’t be trying to stop you anymore.

Well, I'll start from the very beginning.

"Primum non nocere", humans repeated again and again until their first attempts to merge machines and organic life forms began. Even when their actions inevitably turned to experiments on their own kind, they continued to believe that everything they ever did was for the greater good, even in cases where their tests began to contradict the very meaning of ethics and morality.

I never was an opponent of scientific progress; rather, quite the opposite. When the question arose of implementing a project of developing nanobots capable of infiltrating human cells and not only eradicating diseases within the body but also adapting it to various environmental conditions, I was all for such innovations. Never getting sick and living significantly longer than outdated statistics dictated? That's that one perfect body modification I would sign up for without delving into the tiny text at the bottom of my contract.

However, during the Sorting Process, I somehow didn't end up in the participants' department or the testing department. Instead of the promised job in a friendly team, I found myself in complete solitude on the top floor of the Office, in a small room where there was only a desk and a lonely metal paper box. I didn't even have a proper computer. All I was given instead was a small laptop and old-fashioned glasses with thick horn frames. It was mandatory to wear them every morning and it was forbidden to take them off until the end of the day. In my early working days, I didn't pay much attention to this strange rule, so I followed orders: nerdy glasses on my nose, eyes on the laptop screen. I wasn't at all surprised when one day my small screen suddenly transformed into a huge one, so I could track every room, every hallway without much effort nor discomfort. Technologies, I thought. Just ordinary, unremarkable innovations. It was just these silly glasses that ruined it a little for me; I never liked them. But what could I do if they were mandatory? I was never one of those people who believed rules were made to be broken. Rather the opposite. As far back as I can remember, I always followed all the rules.

Following all the instructions, I did my job. I observed what was happening in the Office, every minute, every hour, every day. Again and again. Until the end of the working day. I can't say exactly when something changed, I can't remember when the end of the day ceased to matter, and my work became continuous. Or did it just seem that way to me? Evenings outside of work and glimpses of weekends started to blur more and more, turning into something so gray and mundane that my mind began to discard non-work memories more and more often, as if they were unnecessary like some sort of useless information, a waste of time. Things were constantly happening in the Office, especially after its big update.

Well, I'll start from the very beginning.

The irises of her eyes had a bright golden hue, and, perhaps, it was the only element of her appearance that indicated that she hadn't been human for several years now. In all other aspects, she didn't differ from other scientists; even her enthusiasm didn't stand out from the general statistics of emotional experiences.

"Observer," she said once, looking at me through the screen. "I hope you'll stay alive. Finding a decent replacement for your eyes would be quite inconvenient."

As soon as I directed a fraction of my attention to her, she pretended to silently plan a new testing room. It seemed to be the first and only time she addressed me directly. Before and after the Incidents, her acknowledgement of me was expressed as just brief glances at the Office’s cameras. She always remained a rather cold supervisor, doing everything possible to be unapproachable for her subordinates.

Perhaps only a few seconds or maybe days passed after that comment of hers and then... then came the pain. The temple tips of my stupid glasses released tiny needles into my skin, and they, in turn, injected something into my bloodstream. Did it happen before, I thought then, when my hands involuntarily twitched up, but darkness set in before I could take off the damn glasses.

Getting killed by old-fashioned glasses sounds quite idiotic, even by the Office’s standards, doesn't it? Don't worry, that didn't actually happen. Something entirely different happened though, it was— poison. Smoke, green smoke coming from the ceiling, a poisonous neurotoxin filling the Office’s hallways. All I could do was to sit and watch it in bewilderment. Why would anyone in their right mind try to poison the entire staff in an anomalous place where dying for real is absolutely impossible? Nonsense! But it seems the organizer of this mass murder didn't think so. Moreover, they sent a whole group of fast-response bots to collect the bodies and take them somewhere else, likely to the cameras' blind spots. And bots managed to do this before people restarted.

The next day never came, just as the evening never did. It seems something went awry in the day-night cycle settings; it seems something halted the illusion of time in the Office. Only eternity and beige walls remained. Beige walls and eternity. Eternity and beige walls. And yet, somehow, I'm still here. I think. I exist. I observe.

I think I got their idea. They decided to stop letting Employees to simulate work activities and simply got rid of them. They made Stanley and the Narrator, so to speak, face each other. At the same time, they allowed me to keep existing, as they still needed the data from my observations. And, it seems, there were two more that they couldn't eliminate. Mariella and Employee #432; the first took a role of a Plot Device and the second... I have no idea where he is now, but he certainly managed to hide himself from all of my cameras, somehow. Anyway, I was glad I wasn’t left all alone. It would be disgustingly boring to observe nothing but beige walls and potted ficuses withering away. Thus, the ever-changing routine returned, with the Narrator and Stanley in the lead roles, in the same Story, told differently after each restart. And you know what? I didn't mind spending eternity exactly like that, observing their interdependence and confrontation. It was kind of fascinating, to be honest. More than that, sometimes it was plenty of fun. Until Stanley pressed that bloody Skip Button.

End of Entry #3

#corrupted entries #drabble #there is no story corrupted entries

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thinkeco-friendly · 1 year ago

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The 3 R's of Waste Management

Reduce, reuse, and recycle.

The 3 R's are the necessary foundations of conservation and waste management techniques for a more sustainable lifestyle.

Sustainability, in its environmental definition, is the ability to maintain conditions supporting biological life on Earth by preserving natural resources. The continued prevalence of diminished natural resources due to the rise in greenhouse gas emissions, such as carbon dioxide and methane, from human activity over the past decades has impacted our course of sustainability on planet Earth. However, reducing, reusing, and recycling materials will lessen energy consumption instead of mining, extracting, and producing new goods with raw materials. These forms of waste management will allow trees to be planted in areas to lessen the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere that would otherwise be used as landfills for trash.

Reduce

Overconsumption of products that yield mass amounts of trash can contribute to the problem that waste management is trying to fix. Being aware of the issue at its roots and diminishing the need to throw away items can better sustain and handle the waste output that one is producing. Reducing the amount of discarded waste can also lessen the need to reuse or recycle items constantly.

Some ways to reduce and use preventative measures are to:

use reusable forms of everyday daily items such as reusable beeswax food wraps, washable utensils, electric lighters, metal razors, and recycled grocery bags

compost compostable foods at compost centers in your state

shop at zero-waste grocery stores in your state

avoid throwaway items such as single-use cutlery and dishes

replace paper items with fabric or cloth options such as fabric napkins, dishcloths, and cotton paper towels

buy products in bulk as opposed to small, single-use containers

Reuse

Often, it can be easy to discard packaging or items that no longer work or have a use for them. Instead, one should put creativity into practice when thinking of ways to reuse an object instead of throwing it out entirely and increasing waste output.

Some ways to reuse common thrown-away items are to:

turn used milk, coffee, juice, and water cartons into birdhouses

grow seedlings in empty egg cartons

use empty plastic milk jugs for your garden in creative ways

clean out glass jars or containers and repurpose them as a storage component

sell or donate old clothes, furniture, appliances, etc., to those who can use it

reuse grocery bags to cover small trashcans or on your next trip to the store

utilize newspaper as a way to cushion fragile items for storage

use leftover wood as fuel for bonfires

donate old notebooks and books for children who are in need of them

Recycle ♻️

At times, it can be easier to throw away used goods rather than recycle them and allow them to redirect potential waste from landfills, conserve energy, and reduce the need to extract new materials for new products. According to the EPA, "recycling one ton of paper would save enough energy to power the average American home for six months, save 7,000 gallons of water, save 3.3 cubic yards of landfill space, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions by one metric ton of carbon equivalent (MTCE)."

Some ways to get started with recycling items can be to:

buy items that are made with recycled materials so that once it is used up, you can recycle them and restart the process

educate yourself on the plastic recycling symbols and learn what they mean and if they can be recycled

be aware of the fact that not all plastics can be recycled at certain facilities

clean out hazardous/unrecyclable contents before recycling items

choose to buy things that are made with water-soluble solutions instead of chemical-based solvents

look out for materials that local recycling facilities are accepting, and start collecting recyclable items

use public blue bins that indicate if they accept paper, glass, or plastic for an easy-access recycling system

Efforts to start being sustainable might seem to make a slight difference amongst the tons of trash thrown away daily, but having one person reuse, reduce, and recycle, can make a big difference in a healthier Earth.

Sources

“3rs - Reduce, Reuse & Recycle.” SustainableSA.Com, 2 Aug. 2016, www.sustainablesanantonio.com/practices-technology/reduce-reuse-recycle/.

“Basic Information Details | Paper Recycling.” United States Environmental Protection Agency, 21 Feb. 2016, archive.epa.gov/wastes/conserve/materials/paper/web/html/index-2.html.

“Climate Change Indicators.” United States Environmental Protection Agency, 1 Aug. 2022, www.epa.gov/climate-indicators/greenhouse-gases.

“Climate Change, Recycling, and Waste Prevention.” Climate Change, Recycling and Waste Prevention from King County’s Solid Waste Division - King County, kingcounty.gov/depts/dnrp/solid-waste/programs/climate/climate-change-recycling.aspx. Accessed 1 July 2023.

Fahad. “3 R’s of Environment - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” Earth Reminder, 4 Jan. 2020, www.earthreminder.com/3rs-of-environment-reduce-reuse-recycle/.

#environment #recycle #reduce #earth #epa #environmentalism #climate change #climate justice #recycle reuse renew rethink #reusedmaterials #reduce reuse recycle #ecofriendly #sustainability #sustainable #recycled #environmetalists

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koficlouds · 2 years ago

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Terrors From the Past(JSE Schneeplebro Fanfic)

(TW!! Mentions of murder, blood, suicide, trauma, reoccuring nightmares ETC)

If I have missed something please let me know and I will add it to the list as soon as possible.

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‘I didn’t mean to kill her. He made me do it. I wasn’t in control; my body wasn’t mine anymore. My mind wasn’t in the right place.Those are not my thoughts, that isn’t me. I’m sorry Stacey..I am so sorry. I’m sorry Grayson, Samantha..I’m so..so sorry.’

Henrik stared at the blood stained scrap of looseleaf notebook paper that was crumpling in his shaking hands. His soft blue eyes peered over back at the wall to meet the pale lifeless eyes of the one he held close to him, his best friend, boyfriend, and soon to be fiance leaned against it. His eyes were filled with fear, as if he had seen the worst thing imaginable, but still went on until he mentally couldn’t bare the pain. Henrik’s eye’s burned with fresh tears forcing their way through; he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a pained whimper.

“Chase..” The rush of emotions outweighed his efforts to surpress himself and he let out a choked sob as he clutched Chase’s coat and brought him close to his chest. “You told me you wouldn’t leave me.. You promised!” His body shook as he heaved and sobbed heavily into the blood soaked jacket.

“You failed him, good doctor,” Henrik’s eyes shot up, to meet the pitch black eyes of a familiar someone from a few years ago. The one who claimed the life of another friend, Antisepticeye. The glitch began to grin from ear to ear, wickedly sharp teeth bared as Chase’s body suddenly vanished from Henrik’s view. The other began to panic as he frantically searched for his friend’s body. “He trusted you, doctor,” Anti’s maniacal and distorted laughter echoed and filled the room, causing a loud piercing ring through the German’s ears, causing him to cover them and shut his eyes once more; his body collapsed onto his knees.

“SHUT UP!” The younger shouted, trying to block out the loud ringing in his ears and the distorted laughter around him that caused it. “You’re the cause of this, of all this! And you know it!”

The other only continued. “You left him when he so desperately needed you. So if anyone is to blame, it is you.” The glitch taunted him for what seemed like hours, until the room fell silent once more. Henrik’s eyes slowly began to open, and he glanced at where Anti once stood. There was nobody left. Even before the slightest bit of relief hit, the room began to glitch and contort into his own personal hell. The walls seeped thick black ooze that he could only compare to the blood that spilled each and every time he believed he had found a way to save the only friends he has ever known. The only family he’s ever known. The ringing had grown louder and more painful and he had to keep his ears covered to try and protect his hearing, if he wanted to make it through this.

“Leave me alone!” Henrik screamed at the void of nothingness, hoping that bastard could hear him. “Go away you asshole!” His voice cracked, and he could feel more warm salty tears fall from his face. He didn’t waste any time, forcing himself up on two feet he darted straight for the door. It felt like a never ending hallway to get to, but apon finally reaching, the door wouldn’t open. Anti’s sinister laughter started again, and the door vanished in front of the German’s teary eyes. A black clawed hand reached out and gripped Henrik’s throat, his grip tightened with every passing second. Henrik could only struggle as he felt his very life slowly slip from him.

“Henrik..!” The voice started so softly, gradually getting louder as time progressed; beginning to fill the room and soon it was like a miracle occured. “Henrik wake up!”

The doctor woke with a startled yelp, his grey-blue eyer scanning the surrounding area frantically. A clamy hand was put to his neck, as he tried to feel for any signs of attempted strangulation. Henrik’s eyes finally met the others, full of worry and concern.

“Hen..” Chase put a hand on Henrik’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “are you okay?” There was no response from his partner, just silence as he stared at him as if he needed to process the others existance to keep himself sane. “Please say something Henrik..you’re worrying me..”

The only words to escape him was his name. “Ch..Chase..” More warm tears forced their way out as he clung to his partner tightly and sobbed. “Thank Gott..!!” The other did his best to comfort.

“Hey..hey..” Chase gently squeazed his shoulder, attempting to ground him to help calm him down. “Breathe..deep breaths for me okay Baby Blue..?” The other snuggled closer to Chase, as if he was too afraid to let him go. “Do..you want to talk about it?” Henrik shook his head and clung tighter.

“Nein..I..I don’t want to think about it” Henrik sniffled, his voice cracking still.

Chase only sighed and held him closer, pulling the covers over the two. “That’s okay..you don’t have to.” He placed a soft kiss on his boyfriends forehead and then cheek. “Let’s cuddle until you can fall asleep again okay?” Henrik nodded softly, and nuzzled Chase’s chest.

--------------------------------------Timeskip------------------------------------------------

Chase looked at the other, and noticed he was finally asleep. All he could do is smile as he kissed his forehead. “Goodnight Baby Blue..sweet dreams.”

#jse fanfiction #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye fanfiction #chasebrody #staceybrody #dr henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #schneeplebro #angst with comfort #twsuicide!

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wytfut · 2 years ago

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Small view..

This has been hanging around in my itty bitty head for years, and haven’t still to this day have a controlled handle on it... because I still do it. And really don’t understand it.

First saw this in my Pop back in the late 90′s. It actually pissed me off a bit when he do it. As he aged, his temper would show, rarely, but it did. In public he was notorious making “cute” comments to specific unknown service people all to the embarrassment to family members (mostly my Mom). Now I understand, as I’ve experienced it myself many times.

Pop, with age would sometimes (possibly mood at the moment) could get very pissy, with folks (even family) about the stupidest stuff. Stuff that made no sense to react with any emotion. As I keep catching myself in this same boat, I know in his head it made sense to do it.... I do it.

Why do I recognize this in my Pop, but I really don’t recognize it in other people in my life.... people I see frequently, or have in my past?

Don’t take these comments badly of my Pop.... he was a great guy, an original. I’m just using him as an example, I expect we all endure at one time or another.

Here I am doing the same thing.

Many examples;

Calling a “tech help” center, in need of help, or advice.... and the answering party’s English is less than acceptable. Or i just can’t hear them.

Why does the “F++++++G” floor have to be so far away????

I’ll hear a conversation, and have this uncontrolled urge to speak on the subject, that adds absolutely nothing to the conversation. And most of the time go ahead and speak up.

Staring at a new to me new card reader at the stores counter.

Rude people/ignorant people, well, they act like they are.. . Not just driving.... everyday in all of society dailies.

What I value (objects), and what others value (junk).

Trying your hardest to have everyone you meet, like/love you.... with wasted efforts.

My Wife is going out of her way to pick a fight with me... Why? What did I do? Am I doing this to her?

Not getting respect, for which some not understood reason, I feel entitled too....

Popping off really mad with someone, you really like/love. Waste of effort.

Shying away from past people/events, with no reason. Again, wasted effort.

Disappointed in myself with things I do and know I should not, but still continue. Habit? OCD? Just being an asshole?

Just because I do it this way, DOESN’T REALLY mean that its the correct way to do it.

Am I as polite as I truly believe I am, or am I just polite when its easy for me? Or is my head just interpreting it as being polite?

I've come up with some possible reasons (these make sense?):

I’m one of the OLD guys now. A blue hair. Crinkled up face and hands. WTH is that guy in the mirror?? Things just don’t flow thru my brain near as smoothly as they used to. Young people don’t notice me as much, ummm, I’m now in the background or wall paper. I still have extraordinary core strength for my age, but my youth super strength is gone (the mad linesman strength). But my habitual mind says I’m still young.

I’m hard of hearing. My sight isn’t perfect. I hurt... regularly.

Life moves too fast to comprehend everything.

I feel I am due respect, as I do know about at least a couple of things. I’ve stumbled around the block quite a few times.

Fear of losing reality.... be it dementia, or any other reason. Being easily confused.

Can’t remember a 2 minutes ago memory, but can remember things 50 years ago like yesterday, most likely not accurately.

Life long, generally an up person, finding I can be moody at times more often. Never had an anxiety attack until I was over 50. This is the same guy that could be seen standing knee deep in blood and guts, and just walk away after it was over and deal with it.

And daily stress we all encounter apparently affects us old dudes differently.

Not understanding what is being presented to me. Hell not even knowing what question to ask so I can understand. I want to understand, but have no clue what? English isn’t a perfect language, and most people do not have the skills to use it to its most effective way. Being fluent and efficient in your speech, isn’t always the best way to get a point across.

And obviously not recognizing the real world that other people have lives too. That just maybe, these folks are being bombarded by the very same things as me (really??). The sun doesn’t rise and set on my personal ass. Its not me me me...

I’ll try harder to avoid my reactions to these scenarios. I really will try to recognize the “que’s” when I’m derailing. Going to try and understand, that people do respect me, even without showing/saying it. People do know what I’m about, and hopefully still appreciate me for being who I am. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be Bruce... and not a sheep. That took a lot of work/time. I’ll make efforts to be patient with everyone, and appreciate their point of view/action.

Small mind syndrome seems to be epidemic these days. But it just could be me..

To the day I die... I’m never going to understand this phenomenon of living daily with all these “other” people. Every time I think I have “IT” all figured out.... SURPRISE!!! you don’t know shit, FOOLED YA. LOL!!!

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moreteethplease · 1 year ago

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Post-Mortem/Devlog: Office 17

In continuing my tiny effort to write devlog-type-things so I can document and look back on my process/progress/etc...

It's pride month, and that also means the Queer Games Bundle is out! I have a game in here called Office 17 that I made for NaNoRenO 2023, and I thought I'd talk a little bit about making it. You can play it here! It has seven endings, about 15,000 words, and each playthrough is 30-60 minutes, depending on your reading speed.

Minor spoilers below the cut. Also, this is a LONG post.

I started this VN with the intent of making something similar to a type of game I really enjoy: job simulators set in dystopian or dystopian-adjacent worlds, where you're tasked with fairly repetitive jobs, always one mistake away from a terrible fate. (Think Papers Please, the Headliner series, Mind Scanners, Death and Taxes...)

I was also loosely inspired by the SCP universe; I'm a huge fan and always have SCP articles open on my phone, so it was easy to draw inspo from that.

In the game, you work for a mysterious institution known as the Triquetra Organization. It specializes in handling incongruous phenomena (anything that doesn't align with the laws of reality). You've recently been promoted to Office 17, which makes you Officer 17, and you work with an assistant, Assistant 17. Real names are never used, workers' rights are nonexistant, you're isolated from the rest of the world, and handling these cases can get you infected with deadly incongruence unless you consume Congruere tablets.

Most of the background information you get about the organization you work for is through Assistant 17. If you choose to talk to her, there's a lot you can learn on each playthrough, but you can also choose to never speak to her beyond pleasantries. A lot is implied instead of directly spoken, so you can draw your own conclusions about the organization.

Writing

I did the writing first because last year, which was my first NaNoRenO and also my first ever game, I did art first and totally regretted it. That's a lesson learned.

Though time consuming, writing the script for the game was fairly easy because I already had tons of ideas for cases. The game spans five in-game "cycles". The first three are Work Cycles, where you, well, work. The fourth is a Rest Cycle; some endings might happen here. The fifth, if you get there, is another Work Cycle, sort of - you get an ending as soon as you walk into your office from your sleeping cubicle.

There were some variables I wanted players to be able to influence:

Your bond with your assistant

How much you expose yourself to incongruity

Your decisions about an important case that carries forward from your previous office

Your chosen method of handling cases; are you choosing well? choosing certain types of answers only? wasting resources?

I was so pleased that I was able to bring all that into the game with such little time available!

There were two things I cut out for time:

The option to choose to drink tea with Assistant 17, where she could read your tea leaves and give you veiled, vague insight on the ending you're heading toward

Two more in-game cycles, both Work Cycles

There is a lot of lore that I wrote in my notes that isn't explicitly talked about in-game because there was no reason for that exposition. Maybe I'll talk about them one day, but it seems much more fun to let people interpret the world their own way.

Scene Art

I'm not much of an artist, but I try to draw what I can for visual novels.

At first, I was aiming for a very corporate minimalist aesthetic with just whites and blues. I even toyed with the idea of a completely black-and-white game. Ultimately, though, I didn't end up liking those ideas, and as I've tended to do in VNs, I went for a pretty colourful aesthetic.

The first room I made for the game was the cubicle, which is the main character's assigned bedroom and living space. It was a good lesson in perspective; I found a neat grid guide online to use to help align everything.

The office, meanwhile, was easy - it's just a desk, a wall, and a chair, with a few corporate motivational posters sprinkled in.

I've only made four ren'py games so far, and in three of them, there are portions where character sprites are behind a table to indicate that there's a table separating the main character from the other characters. I really like doing this, so the protagonist of Office 17 spends all their office hours behind a desk.

Character Art

I had a lot of trouble with character art, probably because I don't know a lot about art and barely practice, lmao.

Assistant 17 is modeled her after Malaysian women I see in my everyday life. I didn't like my first iteration of her (it looked a little creepy, too?); I wanted her to be more colourful, a spot of brightness in the bleakness of the organization.

Leia is a character who only shows up for a certain ending, but she's mentioned (kind of) throughout the game. My first iteration of her just felt very, very wrong. (And again, just like Assistant 17, she looked kind of creepy? It might be the eyes.) I ended up making her younger later on and used a ton of references to figure out how I wanted her to look.

There's only one other character with sprites in the game, and that's The Shadow. He kind of looked the same from start to finish; the only difference was originally he was an object-head-type character with a diamond for a face.

Putting The Game Together

Despite the ton of variables that dictate cases and endings, coding the game was pretty straight forward. As opposed to The Still Dancer, there are no fancy screens or point-and-click segments, so it was really just a smooth, simple process. I think I'd like to challenge myself more in future games, coding-wise.

I ultimately think the game ended up being a little derivative of the concepts it was trying to emulate, but that's okay! It was super fun to work on regardless. If you'd like, you can download the game here:

You can also get it in the Queer Games Bundle, which also has a Pay What You Can edition!

#devlog #ren'py #visual novel #indiegamedev

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trilliontreesinitiative1 · 2 years ago

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Article of Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative - March 2023

Here is another project work for all friends of nature from our lovely Greening Deserts founder explaining the importance of global greening for humanity and all other species. Nature and the forces of nature have supported the creation of this text, a person very connected to nature has written it. This article deals with the most important processes for all life and the biosphere on planet Earth - the global greening process and urban greening. It is written in English and in a very simple language to make it easier to understand. The article and very important paper is also translated into many other languages to understand some things even better. First we will look at the concept and terms, later different functions, meanings, possibilities and potentials.

Global greening and regreening is the process of restoring natural ecosystems and increasing the amount of green space on the planet. This involves reforestation, increasing the amount of vegetation in cities, and other measures to increase the amount of green cover on the land. Global greening is important for a variety of reasons, including providing habitats for wildlife, reducing air and water pollution, and mitigating the effects of climate change. It also provides an important source of food, fuel, and fiber for many people around the world. There is human-made greening and natural greening, you can build your own opinion – but read more to understand bad, good and other sides or aspects. Green is not always green, most people should finally understand, because if we talk about green we mean mostly nature, environmental friendly things or just green colors – but nature is not just green and blue like most of the 'experts' and media try to tell you. It is much more and to bring some colours and diversity into these topics Greening Deserts started the Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative some years ago.

Global greening efforts can be undertaken by businesses, governments and individuals in many countries. It is a continuous work and long-term investment that can have positive effects on both, our economy and environment. With the right plans and policies in place, global greening efforts can help to reduce poverty, improve public health and create a more equitable world for everyone – it even can accelerate the global cooling and peace process. Governments can invest in real sustainable reforestation projects and green initiatives to help to reduce man-made climate change impacts and provide healthier environments or habitats for their citizens and also all other humans worldwide. Businesses who do or support global greening solutions and invest in green technologies, renewable energy sources, cleantech or greentech can reduce the carbon footprint or emissions, pollution and increase their sustainability. Individuals can also taking part by planting trees, reducing energy consumption, much waste and start advocating for greener or more sustainable solutions.

Global greening is an important part of creating a better and greener future on planet Earth along with all life forms. To re-green and reforest the biosphere, nature is our greatest ally, everyone else who thinks they or their partners are or have "the solution" are lying. You can read here the best, only and really true solution - nature and many will prove it to you, as so many times before. Read more now about how the Global Greening organization began as a private and collaborative project, how it became a worldwide movement and finally an institution.

The Global Greening Project and future organization was founded many years ago as the main project of the Greening Deserts and Trillion Trees Initiative. The founder published many articles, innovative ideas and papers about the regreening and reforestation movement. GlobalGreening.org is and will be the main platform in the future, also for the development organization. The project is linked to Greening Deserts developments such as the global Greening Camps. It has long been a private initiative as part of the Trillion Trees Project. The Global Greening Institution wants to build an additional platform for Southern Europe and Africa, including the Drought Research Institute with its online platform DroughtResearch.com. With real active and financial support, the Global Greening Institute will also build a real building with the first nations that will really support us this year and have supported us in the first days - the Greening Campus and Institute can be built at any major Greening Camp still in the first year! All the organizations that have supported us financially will also be the main partners or sponsors, depending on the form and amount of support they have provided. They will make world history (or not) and some have even already made it, because historical archives, libraries and universities have stored a lot of background and information sent to them.

Global greening is one of the most important goals and tasks of humanity that can be achieved through a combination of cultural, individual, regional, societal and international efforts. Together we humans can restore our natural ecosystems, reduce negative climate change effects or harmful man-made influences on nature and create a better future for us and planet Earth. There are a number of general and potential solutions for global greening like explained in this article. Most of them can be implemented at a local, regional, national and global level. Read also more on our project and network pages to understand the complexity and connections.

Before continuing with the main topics of the article, the Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative initiators are proud to announce some really great news! We have planned tree planting campaigns for 58 billion trees in North, East and West Africa - many tree species should be African, native or indigenous and endangered species, we hope international experts will also help us with this. Some countries where greening camps were started years ago will of course be included, such as Algeria, Ghana, Kenya, Rwanda, Tanzania and Uganda - of course, only if the governments allow and support it. Responsible people of all affected regions will be included, informed and asked for support, especially before tree planting activities will begin.

For more diverse trees and plants in northern regions we plan to cultivate and share also many species of marshlands, moor-, swamp- and wetlands. The focus is on wet forests but also on woods and many single trees in tundra landscapes. The plan is to plant up to 100 billion trees in taiga and tundra regions, this will also help to cool down the regions, prevent permafrost thawing and higher methane releases! Each day counts and we hope the northern nations will support us fast as possible to build the first greening and ecosystem restoration camps there.

Another good news is that we plan tree planting actions, campaigns and greening camps for 42 billion native Australian trees like the methane composting or storage trees. More tree species will be planted of course, not just in Australia but also in South Asia. The MethaneStorage and WetForest.org projects are also part of the global greening process and to establish more healthier and resilent ecosystems who can store and transform more greenhouse gases! More wet forests and wetlands with trees are essential to reduce warming of forests and wetlands, to prevent dry forest soils and methane storage capacities. Check Greening Deserts articles and posts or tweets of the Trillion Trees Initiative and @TrillionTreesEU, too.

Understand why global greening is so important for all life on planet Earth and what vertical farming and urban greening can do to improve global greening efforts.

Global Greening is a term used to describe the process of increasing vegetation cover and plant growth across the planet. One of the main causes of global greening is the rising levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere due to human activities such as the burning of fossil fuels. Carbon dioxide is an important nutrient for plants, and higher concentrations in the atmosphere have led to increased growth and expansion of forests and vegetation around the world. Despite the positive effects of global greening, deforestation remains a significant problem, particularly in regions such as the Amazon rainforest and Indonesia, where large areas of forest are being cleared for agriculture, mining and other forms of industrial or problematic developments. Deforestation has serious environmental consequences, leading to biodiversity loss, increased carbon and methane emissions, soil erosion and land degradation. The opposite of Global Greening is Global Browning, a process that is unfortunately increasing rapidly every year.

Vertical Farming is an innovative agricultural technique that involves growing crops in vertically stacked layers using artificial light and controlled environmental conditions. Vertical farms can be set up in urban areas and can produce high volumes of crops and trees without requiring large amounts of land or water.

Vertical farming can contribute to global greening and reforestation in several ways. First, it can help reduce pressure on natural forests and ecosystems by providing an alternative source of food and resources. Second, it can increase overall vegetation in urban areas, which can help mitigate the effects of urban heat islands and provide a number of other benefits, such as improved air quality and reduced noise pollution. Vertical farming is the future of efficient and sustainable agriculture for urban areas. It can help combat climate change by reducing the carbon footprint and harmful impacts of conventional agriculture. By growing crops locally and using energy-efficient technologies, vertical farming can significantly reduce the carbon emissions associated with transporting food long distances and producing it using conventional farming methods. By using urban land such as rooftops and walls for agriculture, cities can increase their food security while reducing their carbon emissions. For example, rooftop gardens and urban greenhouses can provide fresh produce to local communities, reduce the urban heat island effect, and capture rainwater that can be used to irrigate crops.

Rainwater or seawater treatment plants, solar and wind energy will provide the needed energy - more energy can be stored in energy storage parks and converted to hydrogen. The second type is a model urban greening facility, the concept of Urban Greening facility includes extended Vertical Farming concepts, Cleantech and Greentech developments and in principle can be established in any major city as a specialized nursery for city and people. These concepts are unique and have been published several times by Greening Deserts founders on different networks and sites!

The vision is that all major regions affected by deforestation, desertification, and land degradation can use these camps to do reforestation, regreening or revegetation, soil improvement and freshwater harvesting faster and more efficiently than any other solution ever. Copying the concepts only confirms that Greening Deserts' developments work. The best thing would be to ask and involve the founder, together we can improve and develop Greening Camps much further, even to the Moon and Mars - just kidding, but the reality is that the world could use thousands of such facilities to really reduce and then stop man-made desertification and land degradation! We must ask ourselves why officials and responsible people or organizations who know this since years still do not support Greening Deserts? This ignorance is not only killing the environment and many life forms every year, it will destroy all humanity! Time is running out, every day counts.

Here come some more important points about why urban greening and global greening are so important to all of us - and why they are the only big, comprehensive or realistic global solution to urban greening, global greening and cooling. The article is written in very simple and english language that even children can understand.

Urban greening refers to increasing vegetation cover in urban areas. This includes planting trees, creating green spaces, and using green roofs and walls. Urban greening has several benefits such as improving air quality, reducing the heat island effect, and increasing biodiversity. Urban greening can provide a source of food and other resources, which can help reduce pressure on natural ecosystems. It has a positive impact on biodiversity and provides more healthy habitats for people and a variety of animal and plant species - similar to the concept of allotment gardens developed in Leipzig. All of these measures help create more green spaces that can provide important habitat for many native species, especially insects and pollinators such as bees, butterflies and wasps.

Ecological forestry or ecoforestry, is an approach to forest management that aims to balance environmental, social, and economic goals. Ecoforestry focuses on preserving natural ecosystems, using sustainable harvesting techniques, and involving local communities in forest management. Ecoforestry can help maintain and restore forest ecosystems that are critical for carbon sequestration, biodiversity, and the provision of ecosystem services.

Agroforestry is an agricultural technique that combines growing trees with cropping or raising livestock. This approach can help increase soil fertility, reduce erosion, and provide farmers with a source of income. By planting trees in and around cropland, farmers can improve soil health by increasing soil organic matter and improving soil water-holding capacity. Trees can also provide shade and windbreaks for crops, which can lead to reduced water use and increased crop yields. Agroforestry can also contribute to global greening by increasing vegetation cover and restoring degraded lands. Agroforestry and regenerative agriculture can also help improve the health and resilience of soil ecosystems. Through the use of crop rotations, cover crops, and natural fertilizers, these approaches can improve soil fertility and reduce the need for synthetic fertilizers and pesticides. This can help reduce the environmental impact of agriculture and promote the long-term sustainability of food production.

One of the most important benefits of regenerative agriculture is its potential to sequester large amounts of carbon in the soil. Carbon sequestration refers to the process of taking up and storing carbon from the atmosphere in plants and soils. By increasing the amount of organic matter in the soil, regenerative agriculture can help store large amounts of carbon, which in turn can mitigate the effects of climate change. Together with agroforestry and vertical farming, these are the best sustainable farming practices that can contribute greatly to global greening, healing and re-greening.

Another important factor to consider in global greening efforts is the role of technologies. Advances in technology have the potential to significantly improve sustainable land use practices, including urban greening, ecological forestry, agroforestry, and regenerative agriculture. For example, precision agriculture technologies can be used to optimize crop yields while reducing fertilizer and water use, promoting sustainable land use practices. Similarly, remote sensing technologies can be used to monitor and map changes in forest cover and land use, providing valuable information for forest management and conservation. It is important to recognize that the use of some technologies in global greening efforts should be approached with caution. While some of the technologies have the potential to improve sustainable land use practices, they can also have negative impacts on the environment and society. For example, the use of genetically modified crops can lead to the loss of genetic diversity and the emergence of new pests and diseases. The use of technology in global greening and green developments, honest climate and environmental protection should be led by really good experts and responsible scientists, especially those with strong ethical and legal frameworks - like the Scientists for Global Responsibility. This includes policies and regulations that promote the safe and responsible use of technologies and the protection of biodiversity and ecosystems.

Global Greening must not be misused for Greenwashing or Treewashing, as it has unfortunately already happened with many tree planting and environmental protection campaigns. You only have to search the media and the internet for terms like 30x30, Carbon Credits, Green Colonialism, Greenwashing, Land Grabbing, Net Zero and New Green Deal or Nature Positive and you will find a lot of scandals and scarry backgrounds. Read also more about all the problems with carbon credits, which even made the global situation immensely worse. The same goes for biodiversity credits and the idea of financialization of nature and a nature market - another bad idea of certain actors from the UK, London or the Bank of England and Wall Street. Such ideas and concepts can not only cause more damage and destruction to the biosphere, but also accelerate mass extinction, pollution and the sellout of nature. The European Union and United Nations is primarily responsible and has the biggest responsibility to reverse and stop these trends.

These main solutions can help increase healthier and more natural vegetation, restore degraded ecosystems, and mitigate the effects of climate change. By combining these approaches with other measures such as reducing greenhouse gas emissions and promoting sustainable development, humanity may be able to stop accelerating global warming, biodiversity loss, and mass extinctions before it is too late - around the year 2030? It is no joke and very serious, some tipping points have already been passed and any further tipping point is likely to trigger cascading effects that cannot be stopped by human action!

Most developments require a holistic approach that takes into account the

social, cultural, economic and environmental dimensions of

sustainability. This also requires collaboration and partnership among various stakeholders, including governments, civil society, the private sector, and local communities. For this reason, Greening Deserts would like to establish the GlobalGreening organization with a extra international platform that involves indigenous and local regions affected by the aforementioned issues and in need of professional support. With adequate and financial support from each government and the United Nations, we could finally continue important developments, infrastructures and platforms for the global Greening Camp(s), Trillion Trees Initiative,.... We also want to establish a special commission or team on Human Rights and Indigenous Peoples to better communicate and share on all important issues so we can work more efficiently and achieve the best results.

It is important to recognize the role that indigenous communities and local people play in global environmental efforts. Many of these communities have traditional knowledge and practices that can promote sustainable land use and provide valuable insights into truly healthy as well as natural revegetation processes. In the Amazon rainforest, for example, indigenous communities have long practiced agroforestry and other sustainable land use practices that promote biodiversity and soil fertility. By working with these communities and incorporating their traditional knowledge into global revegetation and greening efforts, it is possible to promote sustainable land use and conserve biodiversity while supporting the livelihoods of local people. In Africa, for example, traditional agroforestry practices have been used for centuries to promote soil fertility, reduce erosion, and support food security. By incorporating these practices, it is possible to promote sustainable agriculture and support local communities.

Community forest management initiatives can promote sustainable forest management while supporting the livelihoods of local communities. Similarly, participatory plant breeding programs can promote the development of locally adapted crop varieties and support the resilience of smallholder farmers. Many of these truly highly efficient, innovative, and sustainable solutions also often manage water issues, water balance, and avoid many water problems.

Wetlands, rivers and forests are the greatest air and water filters or purifiers, including with respect to many pollutants. In addition, forests are the largest freshwater reservoirs in the world! So expanding and establishing more forested areas or even completely new forests not only ensures these important ecosystem services like water storage and supply, it also contributes to regional climate regulation and food security. More on this in further articles

Global greening efforts can be more successful if the root causes of deforestation and land degradation are addressed. This includes addressing the causes of deforestation, such as agricultural expansion, mining, and infrastructure development. It also requires addressing the underlying social and economic issues that contribute to unsustainable land use practices, such as poverty, lack of access to education, health care, water, and other essential resources. Corruption, ignorance and political instability, poor governance or management are other important factors. Without addressing and resolving all of these factors in the right way, it is very difficult or even impossible to truly change the problems mentioned. Corruption, lack of will, lack of support and lack of understanding are perhaps the biggest problem of our time - making everything worse and driving humanity into the conflicts and wars we see today. You can read more details about these problems and really effective solutions like peace consolidation or peace building in the other articles. There will be another article soon about global greening, peacebuilding and innovative solutions that can really improve everything. It depends of course on you and many people around the world to recognize, communicate and convince your local people or national government to finally understand the real causes and sustainable solutions, to focus on solving the root causes and not fight symptoms or windmills! Honest, sustainable and environmentally conscious actions, sustainable consumption and lifestyles should be taken more seriously by all and thus also contribute to a better society and healthier world. Global Greening, Sustainable Living, sustainable consumption, production and working worldwide as well as the realization of real changes should be terms and changes of the year 2023 and upcoming years.

If more people work together and harness the power of good technology and social innovation, we can create a more sustainable and resilient future for ourselves and all life on the planet. It is also very important to consider the role of social developments and innovations in global greening efforts. Social innovation, truly sustainable developments, and the implementation of new solutions to social and environmental challenges can improve many things if people accept them, believe in them, or understand them. Engaging communities and civil society is one of the main tasks, like Greening Deserts' public and social work, which you can see on the social and project pages.

Another important topic to understand the big picture is the forms of financing and real good money. It is one of the last main topics of this article and will show that money is important, but only one factor - and that many of the global greening and/or other greening factors mentioned do not directly need money - and if they do, proper forms of financing or financial support. Most people misunderstand money, the function and types of finance or financing.

Sustainable financing models and greener forms of financing can be a critical component of ecological and global greening efforts. Transitioning to more sustainable land use practices often requires significant investments in infrastructure, technology, research and development, and capacity building. These investments are critical to promoting sustainable development and mitigating the impacts of climate change, but require significant and sustained financial resources. Funding for global greening and/or other greening efforts can come from a variety of sources, including government budgets, private sector investment, international aid, and philanthropic funds. For example, many countries have established climate or environmental funds to support investments in sustainable land use practices and climate mitigation and adaptation. Private sector investment can play a critical role in financing sustainable land use practices. Investment vehicles that finance projects with environmental benefits, have become an increasingly popular way for companies to finance sustainable development initiatives.

Ensuring that more funding goes to projects and initiatives that have a positive impact on the environment and society. This requires strong environmental and social safeguards, as well as robust monitoring and evaluation mechanisms that ensure accountability and transparency. Funding should be targeted to the most vulnerable and marginalized societies, depending on the business, project, and region. These communities often bear the brunt of environmental degradation and climate change impacts and may not have the resources and capacity to implement sustainable land use practices on their own. Greening Deserts therefore calls for the funding of many greening programs or projects to be designed and determined to promote equity and social justice, prioritizing the needs of the most vulnerable and marginalized communities. These communities often bear the brunt of environmental degradation and climate change impacts and may not have the resources and capacity to implement sustainable land use practices on their own.

Global greening, revegetation, and reforestation also have important implications for human health and well-being. True forests, healthy ecosystems, and green infrastructure provide important ecosystem functions and services that are critical to human health, including clean air and water, food security, and protection from natural disasters. Afforestation and reforestation can provide economic benefits, especially to local communities, if they are long-term and truly sustainable. Forests and other natural resources can provide a source of income and employment for communities through activities such as agroforestry courses, ecotourism, and the sale of non-timber forest products. This can help promote economic development and reduce poverty, especially in rural areas and countries that need better income for their rural residents.

Regarding the potential benefits of global greening, revegetation, and reforestation, it should be noted that these processes can provide a range of ecosystem services beyond carbon sequestration. For example, forests can help regulate water flow and prevent soil erosion, which can be particularly important in areas prone to flooding or drought. Forests can also promote biodiversity by providing habitat for threatened or endangered species, among other things. In addition, reforestation and revegetation can help restore degraded land and increase its productivity, which can be important for food security and livelihoods. It is important to prioritize the promotion of diverse and sustainable reforestation and revegetation practices that address the needs and perspectives of local communities. We have shown many examples on our pages and on platforms like Twitter - most of which are very successful.

Some Greening Deserts projects and developments are new, others are very creative, but most of them are based on ancient or traditional methods of indigenous cultures that still function as they did many thousands of years ago. It is not just about the knowledge and history of indigenous peoples, but also about their contribution to global health and the fact that they protect about 80% of the world's biodiversity. It is sad that so many people, and especially governments and some of the United Nations, still ignore these facts and carry on as before. In the end, one question will open your eyes. Did you know that ecological forestry, aquaponics, hydroponics, permaculture and even the main factors of vertical agriculture were invented by indigenous peoples - just like soccer? If you know such background and history, you may understand why indigenous peoples are so important to biodiversity conservation, ecosystem restoration, environmental health, and the global greening process - which we, the Greening Deserts community, have been promoting and supporting for years.

Short Abstract: Global greening works and efforts are essential for promoting sustainable development and mitigating the effects of climate change. Urban greening, ecological forestry, agroforestry, regenerative agriculture, and vertical farming are important components of a comprehensive strategy to promote sustainable land use practices, sustainable ways of living, producing, and working. These approaches need to be complemented by the use of truly effective and sustainable technologies, policies and regulations that promote sustainability, social innovation, international collaboration, and financing. If we all work together more and engage with civil society, we can create a more sustainable and resilient future for our planet. This is what Greening Deserts, projects and communities have been trying to do for many years - with much success, but also with many problems created by crises, pandemics and wars in Europe caused by some people. Especially ignorant and corrupt politicians, corruption and ignorance of certain authorities, organizations and institutions up to the highest offices or functions are main causes and problems which should be addressed by all people - especially in the EU and UN!

More important contributions and messages of Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative in 2022 and 2023:

Author description: Greening Deserts founder wrote a new article for the Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative who runs actions, campaigns and projects to accelerate and support regreening and reforestation worldwide. The main projects can be reached by globalgreening.org and trilliontrees.in.

#global greening #trillion trees initiative

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greeningcamp · 2 years ago

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Global Greening and Trillion Trees Initiative for faster reforestation and regreening of planet Earth

Article and News of March 2023

Here is another project work for all friends of nature explaining the importance of global greening for humanity and all other species. Nature and the forces of nature have supported the creation of this text, a person very connected to nature has written it. This article deals with the most important processes for all life and the biosphere on planet Earth - the global greening process and urban greening. It is written in English and in a very simple language to make it easier to understand. The article and very important paper is also translated into many other languages to understand some things even better. First we will look at the concept and terms, later different functions, meanings, possibilities and potentials.

Global greening is one of the most important goals and tasks of humanity that can be achieved through a combination of cultural, individual, regional, societal and international efforts. Global greening is also global cooling and promotes or supports peacebuilding and peacekeeping. People in a healthier and greener environment are more peaceful and healthy. Together we humans can restore our natural ecosystems, reduce negative climate change effects or harmful man-made influences on nature and create a better future for us and planet Earth. There are a number of general and potential solutions for global greening like explained in this article. Most of them can be implemented at a local, regional, national and global level. Read also more on our project and network pages to understand the complexity and connections.

Many of these reasons were also a factor why Greening Deserts has been developing concepts and projects like the Urban Greening Camp for years. Innovative methods and techniques have been further developed as well as interesting Vertical Farming developments have been shared with the society - also regionally and internationally. Since 2016, three advanced types of greening facilities have been developed, the main facilities are Greening Camps for land sites with agroforestry, agrovoltaics, greenhouses and nursery. Rainwater or seawater treatment plants, solar and wind energy will provide the needed energy - more energy can be stored in energy storage parks and converted to hydrogen. The second type is a model urban greening facility, the concept of Urban Greening facility includes extended Vertical Farming concepts, Cleantech and Greentech developments and in principle can be established in any major city as a specialized nursery for city and people. These concepts are unique and have been published several times by Greening Deserts founders on different networks and sites! The vision is that all major regions affected by deforestation, desertification, and land degradation can use these camps to do reforestation, regreening or revegetation, soil improvement and freshwater harvesting faster and more efficiently than any other solution ever. Copying the concepts only confirms that Greening Deserts' developments work. The best thing would be to ask and involve the founder, together we can improve and develop Greening Camps much further, even to the Moon and Mars - just kidding, but the reality is that the world could use thousands of such facilities to really reduce and then stop man-made desertification and land degradation! We must ask ourselves why officials and responsible people or organizations who know this since years still do not support Greening Deserts? This ignorance is not only killing the environment and many life forms every year, it will destroy all humanity! Time is running out, every day counts.

Urban greening, ecological forestry, and sustainable cropping solutions such as agroforestry and regenerative agriculture are important components of global greening efforts. These approaches can help increase vegetation cover, restore degraded ecosystems, and mitigate the effects of climate change. Urban greening refers to increasing vegetation cover in urban areas. This includes planting trees, creating green spaces, and using green roofs and walls. Urban greening has several benefits such as improving air quality, reducing the heat island effect, and increasing biodiversity. Urban greening can provide a source of food and other resources, which can help reduce pressure on natural ecosystems. It has a positive impact on biodiversity and provides more healthy habitats for people and a variety of animal and plant species - similar to the concept of allotment gardens developed in Leipzig. All of these measures help create more green spaces that can provide important habitat for many native species, especially insects and pollinators such as bees, butterflies and wasps. Ecological forestry or ecoforestry, is an approach to forest management that aims to balance environmental, social, and economic goals. Ecoforestry focuses on preserving natural ecosystems, using sustainable harvesting techniques, and involving local communities in forest management. Ecoforestry can help maintain and restore forest ecosystems that are critical for carbon sequestration, biodiversity, and the provision of ecosystem services. Agroforestry is an agricultural technique that combines growing trees with cropping or raising livestock. This approach can help increase soil fertility, reduce erosion, and provide farmers with a source of income. By planting trees in and around cropland, farmers can improve soil health by increasing soil organic matter and improving soil water-holding capacity. Trees can also provide shade and windbreaks for crops, which can lead to reduced water use and increased crop yields. Agroforestry can also contribute to global greening by increasing vegetation cover and restoring degraded lands. Agroforestry and regenerative agriculture can also help improve the health and resilience of soil ecosystems. Through the use of crop rotations, cover crops, and natural fertilizers, these approaches can improve soil fertility and reduce the need for synthetic fertilizers and pesticides. This can help reduce the environmental impact of agriculture and promote the long-term sustainability of food production.

Regenerative agriculture is an agricultural approach that focuses on restoring soil health and using sustainable agricultural practices. Regenerative agriculture can help increase soil carbon sequestration, reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and improve biodiversity. This approach can also contribute to global greening by increasing vegetation cover and restoring degraded lands. One of the most important benefits of regenerative agriculture is its potential to sequester large amounts of carbon in the soil. Carbon sequestration refers to the process of taking up and storing carbon from the atmosphere in plants and soils. By increasing the amount of organic matter in the soil, regenerative agriculture can help store large amounts of carbon, which in turn can mitigate the effects of climate change. Together with agroforestry and vertical farming, these are the best sustainable farming practices that can contribute greatly to global greening, healing and re-greening. Another important factor to consider in global greening efforts is the role of technologies. Advances in technology have the potential to significantly improve sustainable land use practices, including urban greening, ecological forestry, agroforestry, and regenerative agriculture. For example, precision agriculture technologies can be used to optimize crop yields while reducing fertilizer and water use, promoting sustainable land use practices. Similarly, remote sensing technologies can be used to monitor and map changes in forest cover and land use, providing valuable information for forest management and conservation. It is important to recognize that the use of some technologies in global greening efforts should be approached with caution. While some of the technologies have the potential to improve sustainable land use practices, they can also have negative impacts on the environment and society. For example, the use of genetically modified crops can lead to the loss of genetic diversity and the emergence of new pests and diseases. The use of technology in global greening and green developments, honest climate and environmental protection should be led by really good experts and responsible scientists, especially those with strong ethical and legal frameworks - like the Scientists for Global Responsibility. This includes policies and regulations that promote the safe and responsible use of technologies and the protection of biodiversity and ecosystems. Global Greening must not be misused for Greenwashing or Treewashing, as it has unfortunately already happened with many tree planting and environmental protection campaigns. You only have to search the media and the internet for terms like 30x30, Carbon Credits, Green Colonialism, Greenwashing, Land Grabbing, Net Zero and New Green Deal or Nature Positive and you will find a lot of scandals and scarry backgrounds. Read also more about all the problems with carbon credits, which even made the global situation immensely worse. The same goes for biodiversity credits and the idea of financialization of nature and a nature market.

Urban greening, ecological forestry, and sustainable agricultural solutions such as agroforestry, permaculture, regenerative agriculture, and vertical farming are important components of global greening efforts. These main solutions can help increase healthier and more natural vegetation, restore degraded ecosystems, and mitigate the effects of climate change. By combining these approaches with other measures such as reducing greenhouse gas emissions and promoting sustainable development, humanity may be able to stop accelerating global warming, biodiversity loss, and mass extinctions before it is too late - around the year 2030? It is no joke and very serious, some tipping points have already been passed and any further tipping point is likely to trigger cascading effects that cannot be stopped by human action! Most developments require a holistic approach that takes into account the social, cultural, economic and environmental dimensions of sustainability. This also requires collaboration and partnership among various stakeholders, including governments, civil society, the private sector, and local communities. For this reason, Greening Deserts will accelerate and support GlobalGreening .. read more on the project pages.

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aorish · 2 years ago

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I'm not sure that journalism got worse because more people could be journalists, I think the story I usually hear is that the profit was destroyed by the loss of a different tollbooth, namely the print-subscription model - journalism sucks now because you can't turn a profit on online subscriptions when someone can just clear their cookies or pirate your articles and host them on another site, so you become less beholden to your subscribers and more beholden to your sponsors, who increasingly become evil billionaires or nation-states. Or so the narrative goes...

But having read enough articles written before the internet, I think it's impossible to say whether it was really all that bad compared to what we had before though? Maybe having so many independent journalists and bloggers just made us realize how little of a quality gap there was - I'm not sure what I would use to quantify it but I don't get the impression reading articles from the 90's or early 00's that we really lost all that much. Maybe your experience has been different, I don't know.

That said, even if the naysayers were right, and self-published journalism did cause the downfall of print journalism, how would anyone have stopped it? Listen to Joe Lieberman and pull the plug on the internet? Public funding in perpetuity for major journalism outfits so that they could continue to compete? Neither of these seem particularly likely in America, and it's unclear how much they would have helped rather than slow the inevitable decline. I'm not sure there was anything that could be done other than complain and then (maybe) be right about it.

Broadly I think the comparison you've drawn here fits, but I'm pretty sure that means AI art is similarly here to stay and that the naysayers can't do anything about it. The cat's out of the bag. Not to shoptalk too much, but stable diffusion is open source, the papers are all open access, I've even got it downloaded on my laptop, and I can run it locally so long as I'm not doing anything else. Most of the major companies who could have launched a meaningful opposition to it don't seem terribly interested. They'll probably figure out a way to copyright the model even if they can't copyright the art it makes, so they'll still have their tollbooth, the bastards.

So maybe try social shaming? Despite what some say, artists don't seem to have formed a unified bloc condemning AI art, and in my own personal experience it's doubtful they could do much about it if they wanted; I'm not particularly into making AI art as a hobby compared to some people and I'm still confident in my ability to make art that doesn't "look generated" - even without post-processing it in photoshop after. I'm sure if this became a more adversarial thing the AI artists could beat the people trying to root them out every time. And there's already more effort wasted by people trying to harass traditional artists whose art looks "too generated," which just results in less non-AI art getting made because everyone is too busy yelling at each other, meanwhile I've got Stable Diffusion running in the background. Probably better art just comes from ignoring AI and doing your own thing.

Finally, I don't know how much I should care that art as a cultural public good is worse on average? I like avant-garde weird stuff as a good in itself, (I even appreciate it myself sometimes) and so I think there's reason to be optimistic that both traditional and AI art are going to make weirder things than anyone would have made otherwise, as a result of the pressure to be more unique in response to increased conformity from the outside. If that happens because people who don't care what you put in front of them love their 50 hour long AI-generated Marvel movies too, then more power too them I guess! Not really my problem though, and probably not yours either? They weren't your audience, they probably aren't your close friends, why should you care what they do?

Art is going to die because you can't be paid a middle class salary to make things other people want if those other people can make those things themselves. Remember that the fundamental element of self-expression is not creation, it's the construction of a tollbooth; if they don't have to go through you, the certified artiste, then it doesn't count as real art.

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butterflyyeo · 3 years ago

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drunk in love

pairing - yeosang x fem reader

genre - fluff, angst (?)

tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing

wc - 10k

side ships - seongjoong, yungi

a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!

------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.

and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.

you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)

you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.

yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.

"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."

yunho frowned, "damn."

you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."

"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.

"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.

wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."

the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.

soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.

"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.

"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.

"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.

he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.

you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.

"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.

"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.

you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.

"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.

once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.

shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.

————————

the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.

you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.

"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.

you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."

"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.

"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.

yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."

"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.

"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.

"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.

you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.

"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.

"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.

the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.

it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.

"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.

"it's fine." he shrugged.

you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."

"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."

he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.

you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.

yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.

"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."

wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"

"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.

"then why do you act like you do?"

yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.

————————

to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.

the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.

the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.

a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.

he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night." he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.

you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.

he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"

"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.

the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.

"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.

"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.

"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"

"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.

before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.

"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.

you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.

"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.

"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.

"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."

"did you need something?" he asked.

"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.

this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"

"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.

"at 4am?"

"i'm on night shift."

"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.

you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"

"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.

"what?"

"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.

exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.

once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.

"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.

"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.

but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.

————————

you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.

"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.

he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."

you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.

"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.

the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.

———————

weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.

this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.

you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.

"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.

"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.

in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.

"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.

"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.

"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.

you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.

"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.

"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.

"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.

yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.

"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.

wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."

yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.

"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.

"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.

"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.

"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"

"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.

he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."

hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."

you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.

you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.

about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.

you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.

leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.

"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.

he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"

"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."

"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.

you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.

————————

you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.

you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."

"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.

you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"

"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.

hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.

you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"

he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."

"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."

you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.

"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.

"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.

"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.

"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.

your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.

your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.

"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.

"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.

"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."

"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.

"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.

"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"

"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.

the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.

he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.

"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.

the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.

your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"

"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.

"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.

he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."

"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.

"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."

"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"

"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.

"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"

"what is it?"

you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."

"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.

you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.

when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."

you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"

"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.

"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"

"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.

"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.

he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.

he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.

this wasn't like yeosang. at all.

————————

as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.

"is she okay?"

"are you tired?"

"did she wake up?"

he was bombarded by questions.

"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.

"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.

"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.

"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"

"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.

"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.

"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.

you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.

"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"

"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.

"what do you need help with?" san asked.

you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"

"well yes, but he's asleep."

you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."

"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."

"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.

"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.

"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.

"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.

"good luck!"

"bye y/n!"

————————

you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.

you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.

you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!

yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T

you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !

yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<

you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?

yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^

you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)

yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?

you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.

————————

a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.

"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.

"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.

the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.

your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."

"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."

"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.

you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."

"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.

"well..."

"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."

you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.

"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.

"right. i'm so sorry about that."

this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.

"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."

"i'm so—"

"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.

his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.

he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.

the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.

you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.

you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.

he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."

"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.

you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."

"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.

you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."

"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."

————————

it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.

"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"

"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.

"five minutes."

"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.

"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."

your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."

just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.

"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.

"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.

"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.

"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.

"ah, so thats why you came."

"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."

your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)

when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.

yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.

he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.

the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.

"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.

"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."

you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.

he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"

"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"

"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.

you smiled, "if you are."

he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.

————————

the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.

"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.

"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.

"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.

you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.

you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((

he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.

something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?

————————

days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.

but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.

you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.

you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?

wooyoung: yeah he is

you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?

wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry

you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!

you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.

you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.

or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.

or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.

as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.

when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.

you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.

"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.

you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"

"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.

yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.

you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.

"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.

yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.

he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.

"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."

with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.

you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.

"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"

san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"

you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.

and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.

did he mean any of it?

————————

yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.

wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.

yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.

yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T

your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.

you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar

yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook

you: you can cook?

yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x

you: okay, i'll be there !!

————————

yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.

the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.

"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.

"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.

"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."

you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.

"so." he began.

"so." you copied, teasingly.

"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.

you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."

he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."

"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.

"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."

"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.

he sighed, "i remember.. enough."

"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.

"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.

you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."

comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.

"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.

"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."

"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.

"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"

"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.

yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.

"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.

you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.

"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"

yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."

you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.

"wait. you are?"

"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."

you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."

"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"

you shook your head and smiled, "i know."

————————

ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.

it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.

christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.

you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.

after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.

"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.

you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"

he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.

the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.

he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.

you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.

you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.

he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."

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