#but never feel you're obligated to

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[sainteclectic]

oh and sadly no chapter or art today :-( my body is NOT happy

[bookshelfdreams]

.

[cesium-sheep]

singing used to be as easy as breathing but I guess breathing isn't fucking easy anymore either.

I still don't feel death on my shoulder just yet, but I do kind of feel like it might as well be, as I think the only thing keeping it away is having crushed myself down so small I've nearly disappeared. it's scary and miserable, even if I'm not in that much physical pain right now. like. I don't feel like I'm actively dying yet this time, I just feel like I might as fucking well be. (or maybe I already am and just haven't fully put it together cuz I can't fucking think either.)

[howthesleeplesswander]

surprise starter for @greedbent because Baizhu saw my other muses bothering his "secret" crush and refused to be left out 😤

"I have a prediction. Would you like to hear it?" Changsheng's voice floated into the front room of the pharmacy from somewhere up in the rafters. She hadn't shown herself once since he'd begun work that morning; Baizhu had assumed she'd been with Qiqi or Gui.

"Well, don't leave me in suspense," the doctor replied airily. Faced with a break in patients for the afternoon, Baizhu had begun filling prescriptions. Even while conversing, practiced hands moved of their own accord: one adding leaves and petals from the trays of mint and qingxin beside him to a large medicinal cauldron, while the other worked the milky substance within beneath a starsilver pestle.

Naturally though, Changsheng did exactly that. He'd nearly forgotten she'd said anything by the time she divulged her 'prediction.' "Sssomething tellsss me that today isss about to get interesssting."

Baizhu hummed, attention fixed on his work. "Oh? What makes you say that?"

Her answering snicker came from directly above him. He paused as Changsheng dropped onto his shoulders so he wouldn't spill anything. "You'll sssee sssoon enough," was all she said as she adjusted her coils, and the doctor shook his head fondly. With her affinity for the vague and riddled, sometimes Baizhu wondered if his companion wasn't some long-lost adeptus in disguise.

Minutes passed with only the scrape of the pestle along the cauldron's base to fill the silence. Then footsteps sounded on the stairs leading up to the pharmacy—but there was something...unique about them. Not just a rhythmic tap-tap of shoes on pavement, but with an additional tone layered in unison. Metal on stone. Tap-tapclink.

That could only mean...

Ah. Well, in all fairness, Changsheng was rarely wrong about these things.

Baizhu didn't look up until the steps arrived in the entryway. To anyone else, the sight of a man clad in all black, gazing into their shop with such intent, sharp eyes may be cause for alarm. But Baizhu simply smiled, hands pausing to give his newfound visitor his undivided attention.

"Why, Kaz, what a pleasant surprise. How nice to see you." Likely not a sentiment heard often, but it was entirely sincere. He pointedly ignored Changsheng's muttered 'I told you' that tickled his ear. "Is there something I can do for you? Oh—unless you're here for your 'prescription'?"

The code word was second-nature despite there being no one else in the pharmacy to overhear. With a grin so pleasant adorning his features, the doctor certainly appeared to be speaking of a legitimately prescribed medication, rather than the special-ordered poison that currently sat fermenting on his kitchen counter. "It's nearly finished, but I'm afraid it needs another hour or so to infuse for maximum...potency." There was a dark edge to the chuckle that rolled in his chest. "We must be sure it's strong enough to take care of the problem, mustn't we?"

[kneworder]

some of you guys weren't raised on heroes (2005) and it shows

[featherymainffins]

I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.

[meezer]

when I basically stopped talking to all my friends except one but then even I and that person aren't interacting all that much anymore........

[todayisafridaynight]

Mutual on Twitter was talking about Daigo instinctively feeling the need to put the pieces of Mine's ruined life back together and make him feel at ease... Is That Not The Appeal Of AraSawa As Well... like they might not know the depth of what their lives were like before in full but surely there are some details safe to share and there's very little that wouldn't sound bleak... but it's also a MineDai But To The Left sort of moment because Mine has always felt he deserves basic human decency, even if he has to earn it, but that's never been the case for Jo... [SORRY I'LL GET TO PENDING RESPONSES I'VE JUST BEEN LOST IN THE SAUCE for better or worse it feels wrong not to write in every day at this point 😭😭😭]

i remember telling my twitter mutual that arasawa was minedai but with dads and the way a light bulb seemed to go off for her was just perfect LMAO

but on the real arasawa IS a lot like minedai when it comes to some themes, and moreover they still maintain their individuality (aside from the dad aspect LMAO) in the parties involved, ESPECIALLY mine and jo

it's weird to explain, but daigo, in a sense, was an 'end goal' for mine. maybe not in THAT way, but just having his comradery was a sample of the thing he'd been striving for his whole life. ergo, mine joins the yakuza specifically due to interest in daigo, and decides to stay and commit himself to it because of daigo- and as you said, mine understands his worth and wants his efforts to be reciprocated. the problem is that he's not exactly sociable..

inversely, arakawa was, on the contrary, an accident for jo: sure, he swore up in order to be closer to his son. but now By The Fate Of The Cruel Universe jo's found himself becoming attached to arakawa too, whether he wholly admits it or not. A Cruel Fate not only in that jo undoubtedly doesn't believe he'd be deserving of something special with arakawa, but that he also shouldn't pursue something special with arakawa considering their positions in the clan (also masato would probably throw a fit and he can't be upsetting his baby boy </3)

BUT THIS IS THE SIMILARITY OF DAIGO AND ARAKAWA RIGHT so often comparing mine and jo, i never touch on how the other two relate... but of course with them, daigo and arakawa try to become closer to mine and jo (evidently we see daigo have a little more success on account of rgg refusing to let arakawa and jo be in a room together for more than five minutes). its unfortunate that we don't get to hear much of arakawa's thoughts on jo, but if it's anything like daigo and his concern over mine (i.e. worrying that mine is only concerned with money/only sees value in himself through his wealth, wanting to be closer to him and get rid of the 'stiffness' between them) i imagine he harbors similar sentiment (and being a Bonafide Father instead of a proverbial one like daigo, i wouldn't be surprised if he could be more anxious/concerned over jo, especially considering the- albeit small- age gap absent in minedai).

[tardis--dreams]

One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.

[livesinthebalance]

So I posted something because of Loverwatch when it first happened and I told myself I was not going to get invested in another ship between my own characters but. Here we are again.

To quote what I said to the other two people I regularly [ terrify ] plot with:

It's still a pretty rough sketch that needs more work what else is new? but

Here's the gist:

The thought occurred to me that Genji is difficult to snuggle without getting pinched or imprints from the cybernetics and then just the general weight being heavier than a normal person.

Which he knows. So I suspect he would have been hesitant at first, but Abby insisted there is no engineering issue that doesn't have a solution and the same applies here. So they figured out some ways to make it work, usually by sleeping side by side and using pillows and a thick comforter to help cushion.

I have no excuse for this except a lack of self-control and that I like to see Genji happy because he deserves to be. That is all. 😂 [ And also I still blame Loverwatch, hence the relationship tag. ]

[hollowwhisperings]

"Tatsu ni Otoshigo" is used mostly with a meaning of "baby dragon" or "dragonspawn" and most typically refers to the Hippocampus coronatus (Crowned Seahorse) found in Japan's part of the Pacific Ocean.

There are several types of seahorse local to Japan & thus different areas have different nicknames for the creatures:

umiuma (lit. "sea" + "horse")

kaiba

amanoko (lit. "horse's child)

umanokao (lit. "horse's face", has a meaning of "horsefaced") in the Tōyama region.

umahiki ("horse puller")

tatsunoko (lit. "dragon's child")

...aaand by many more names all over Japan.

Local seahorses of Japanese waters include:

Hippocampus mohnikei, the Japanese seahorse. Locally called "kita no umiuma" or "sangotatsu" (coral dragon). Actually found throughout the Western Pacific Ocean, including Vietnam & Indonesia.

Hippocampus sindonus, named in memory of Michitaro Sindo (an assistant curator of fishes at Stanford University sometime before 1901, when the species was first publicized). Locally known as "hanatatsu" (flower dragon).

Hippocampus coronatus, the aforementioned Dragonspawn or "tatsu no ōtoshigo".

Hippocampus japapigu, the Japanese Pygmy seahorse. Taxonomically named for its local nickname (Japan Pig).

Hippocampus histrix or spiny seahorse. Locally known as "ibara tatsu" (thorn dragon).

Hippocampus trimaculatus but known in Japan as the Hippocampus takakurae. Its latter name was coined by the "Father of Modern Fish Taxonomy", Shigeho Tanaka-sensei (the suffix serves here as titles of "Doctor" or "Professor"). In english, this specoa is inconsistently called the "three-spot", "longnosed", "lowcrowned" or "flatfaced" seahorse.

Hippocampus kuda. Colloquially called "kuro umiuma" (black seahorse). English is still flipflopping on what to call this seahorse but seaponies have been recently reincorporated to its ranks. They are not actually black but yellow: it is named for its ability to inhabit "black" or [brackish] water (e.g. estuaries, mangroves & marshlands).

Hippocampus kelloggi or the Great seahorse. Its Japanese name "ō umiuma" shares that meaning of Greatness (in size & Esteem). It's one of the largest known member of the 41 sepecies of seahorse.

Hippocampus severnsi or "Svern's pgymy seahorse". It does not have its own name in Japanese yet, having its first documentation in 2008.

Just learned that a Japanese term for seahorse is Tatsu no Otoshigo and it literally means “dragon’s illegitimate child”

[shagchateau]

.

[webism]

pornstar!toji who is known for being easy with his scenes. he's there for a good fuck and an even better paycheck: it doesn't matter who, or where, or how... if he's being paid he will do it. he doesn't mind getting nasty, and so he's often booked for more exotic scenes. he fucks good, and he fucks a lot.

pornstar!toji who is strapped for cash one week after an unfortunate loss on the horses, and takes the first scene offered to him. a vanilla fuck with a new-to-the-scene pornstar with potential... at least that's what his agent, shiu, tells him. he's confused on what potential he's hinting at until he rocks up ten minutes late to the shoot and lays eyes on you, already naked and on the stage bed. you have a look to you that makes a man like toji feel obliged to drop to his knees.

pornstar!toji who is already harder than he has been in a long time when shiu clarifies that when he called you 'new to the scene' he meant it: this is your first porn shoot. and though you're not a virgin, toji has the honour of taking your first time on camera... and god does he love the thought.

pornstar!toji who is greeted with a small smile and a soft 'hello' from you, shy beneath his gaze as if you aren't naked and soon to be stuffed full of his cock. he watches your eyes shift, from his piercing eyes to his beautifully scarred lip to the gorgeous tone of his body, all the way down to his awfully large cock. he can tell you're nervous, worried about taking all of him on film.

pornstar!toji who isnt good with gentle comforts, but still wants you to feel at ease with him. so, despite his instructions for a simple fuck scene, toji attacks you with deep kisses first, gets you used to the burning heat of his body against yours. and when you're melted enough against his skin he trails down and eats you out for a long twenty minutes. production would try and stop him, but he's already tipsy on your taste and the moans leaving your lips are, frankly, made for porn.

pornstar!toji who revels in the way your back arches off the mattress—he'd accuse you of putting on a show for the cameras if your hips weren't bucking up against his face in an almost primal need. he can taste it on you, the genuine lust, the way you drip wet on his tongue and still grab at his hair for more. and when he gives you more—when he finally slips his cock into you—he can't help himself from groaning out something needy. he's the silent type, letting his costar take center stage, but god can he not keep quiet feeling your walls wrapped around him.

pornstar!toji who has never had an issue with porn before, but with your legs wrapped around his waist, your eyes locked onto his as he pumps in and out of you with white hot need, he finds he hates the thought of anyone else seeing you like this. he's not a possessive man, he shouldn't feel this way, but he does. even the watchful stares of the cameramen piss him off, and he finds his hips moving faster and his cock nestling deeper inside of you just to show them that he's the one pleasing you.

pornstar!toji who can't help but kiss you as you both cum in unison. he ruins the shot, the cameras cant see your orgasm face when he's swallowing your moans like they're sweet wine. he's surprised his pay doesn't get cut for it.

when pornstar!toji does get paid, it's the first cheque in a very long time that he doesn't blow the same night it comes through. because he doesn't have time to go out and waste his money: he's at home fucking his fist to the film you made together and mentally degrading himself for being so pussy whipped. he strokes himself in time with his own thrusts in the video, and tries so desperately to recall your taste on his tongue, but its fruitless. he's agitated and sexually frustrated and keeps reloading your personal pages to see if you've filmed with anyone since him.

pornstar!toji who becomes so lost in his own mind that he starts turning down shoots with other actors—shoots with good pay. he's done everything under the sun, done all the hardcore porn and weird fetish content but now that he's gotten a fresh taste of plain passion sex with you, he can't stomach anything else. he'd say your name, he knows it—and it doesn't help that he hasn't been able to reach orgasm for a week without thinking of you.

pornstar!toji who, after three weeks of pure misery, decides to make a move. he doesn't do dates or romantic nights on the town. he doesn't do flowers or sweet nothings or eye contact even, but he finds himself contacting shiu and threatening the poor man in hopes of your real name, your address, anything.

and you, late one evening fucking yourself on your fingers to the brink of frustrated tears because they're not his cock. even more disgruntled when theres a pounding knock at your front door, and after cleaning yourself up a little you swing it open to find pornstar!toji stood in the rain outside. and you can only take him in—his heavy build and desperate eyes—before he's crashing his lips against yours, walking you into your own home and kicking the door shut behind him.

[piss-stained-jorts]

heyyyyyy depressed mothers and fuckers please don't ever forget that you're still worthy of life and love even if you never get "better." even if you've gotten to the point you don't even want to anymore. even if the darkness has become so familiar that it feels like home and you don't ever wanna leave.

if you don't look down on the chronically ill, why look down on yourself? of course the pain, if it goes on long enough, will become so familiar nothing else will do. the brain is hardwired to crave predictability. sometimes it becomes part of your identity to the point you wonder who you'd be without it. the feeling of giving up is cathartic when you've fought for so long.

yeah, none of that is ideal. if we were working with ideals, no one would have to be depressed in the first place. you don't have to be the "best" version of yourself to be worthy of life and love, whatever the fuck "best" means.

I will not demand hope from you. I will not demand that you "try." If this is who you are forever, so be it. You're still worthy of dignity and loved ones.

you are worth more than what you could become. you are worthy now.