#but never before has she opened an album w three songs that are all in my top 5 for that album

[astrobei]

starting off an album with state of grace/red/treacherous as the opening lineup was an absolutely lethal choice btw

[hannieween]

neon lights | lights out series

Jeonghan had put what mattered most to him to be with you, and now that Joshua was finally coming to terms with the turmoil in his heart, Jeonghan had to face that too.

✮ pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 21.4k

› thank you @gyuhao5 for proofreading this for me 🩵

› 🎧: over you – haon | i want u around – yugyeom ft. de vita | mon amour – gemini | lock me in – hojean | good care – hhybs, asiatic.wav, and slchld | all i got – baekhyun | moonstruck – enhypen | one look – leo

→ season one ��� season two — read more

› warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: cheesy song lyrics that i had to compose, smut with plot, alcohol consumption, switch joshua, dom jeonghan, switch reader, long threesome scene, mlm action, degradation/praise kink, sloppy handjobs, mutual masturbation, heavy makeouts, blowjobs, face riding, pussy drunk joshua, fingering, cum play, cum eating, cum mixing, multiple orgasms, anal sex. pet names: princess, bunny, baby, good girl, (hers) handsome, babe (joshua & jeonghan)

✮ author's note: heyoooooooo (✿◠‿◠) it's here! it's finally here, i made it, we made it! i made it dkjgh. just as a reminder!! Bunny or Princess are stand ins for the Y/N nomenclature hehe. bye!

✮ acknowledgements: to @onlymingyus, @wonustars, @okiedokrie, thank you for keeping me up through this process, and for cheering me up when i had no hopes to get this fic out. thanks for staying w me and reading my fic 🥹🩵

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part vi

Three years before.

Joshua Hong was unattainable.

That is how Jeonghan saw him. He strode between the seas of people, waving, saying hi, smiling, and even pausing for a chat. Joshua was a rockstar. Even if he did not have a studio album, or was not signed to a label yet.

In his years of being in the theatre industry, getting to know so many people, so many divas, personas, alter egos, and so on and so forth, he had never met a natural, not like Joshua. He did not put up an act. He just shone wherever he went, and people gravitated towards him naturally.

It was his birthday, turning twenty-seven. Jeonghan threw him a surprise party under the excuse that it was a New Year’s Eve getaway. The party turned out to be a success, though he was the only one in the group of people gathered there who was having a bad time.

A girl happened to be sticking to Joshua’s side, she was pretty, fun, and lively. And also has had her eye on Joshua for a long time. Jeonghan did not need telepathy to know that Joshua would take her to his room upstairs. He could see it in his entire demeanor.

Jeonghan rented a nice house on the outskirts of the city. The open space gave him the chance to have a smoke. He sat on a bench near the bonfire. People resorted to either going to the jacuzzi, staying indoors, or on the terrace, keeping warm by the heaters.

Absentmindedly, his fingers trailed on the edges of the scar that was etched on the skin of his elbow, remembering the time Joshua painted a smiley face over it. Or the times he called early in the morning to ask how his recovery process was going.

Through the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the girl throwing her arms around Joshua’s neck, being reciprocated with his large hands on her waist. Joshua smiled, looking at her eyes, a slow smirk showing on his lips before he dipped his head, capturing her lips with his in a passionate, slow kiss.

Jeonghan’s insides twisted, yanking his gaze away from the intimate moment he had been prying on. But he could not help but sneak a look again, getting a glimpse of Joshua moving a hand from the chick’s waist to her chin, his lips kissing her bottom lip hungrily.

Misery swept all over Jeonghan. He should have known better. Before deciding to throw Joshua a party, he should have confronted the idea, or fact, that Joshua would have gotten a partner through the night.

Joshua then said something to the girl, seemingly excusing himself, turning towards the bench that was occupied by only one person.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan sighed, sticking the vape pen to his mouth to draw in a deep intake of the green apple flavor. As soon as he exhaled, he downed a generous gulp of gin and tonic. “Blegh.”

“If you hate gin and tonic so much, why have you downed three of these?” Joshua’s long fingers took the solo cup from Jeonghan’s grip, a smirk dancing on his plump lips as he took one sip from it.

To gather some courage. “It’s what gets me drunk faster,” Jeonghan said, clearing out space for Joshua to sit. He had been alone, looking at the partygoers without much care to strike up a conversation with anyone.

“Why are you getting drunk tonight?” Joshua let out a raspy sigh as he sat down beside him. “Mm?”

Jeonghan’s eyes widened, raising his eyebrows at his best friend. “I… don’t know yet,” he replied, removing his gaze from Joshua’s face with a tight feeling twisting his heart.

There was a clicking noise coming from Joshua’s mouth. “You know, I’m usually bad at communicating things,” Joshua spoke to the night sky, his dark eyes glimmering under the moonlight.

Shit. Jeonghan thought. There was no way out of this now.

“But…?” Jeonghan prompted. 

“But you’re usually not,” Joshua replied, lowering his gaze to meet Jeonghan’s. “What’s going on with you?”

“Tsk,” Jeonghan smirked. “Ah, it’s really nothing Joshuji. I want you to enjoy your party. I threw it for you,” he remarked.

“And I’m grateful,” he nodded, a shy but solemn smile drawn on his face. “You know, when I moved here, I didn’t know anyone. I was entirely alone and even though I made friends, I never thought I would be finding someone like you.”

“Like-like me?” Jeonghan breathed, his heart pounding nervously upon hearing his best friend’s words.

“Yeah, we understand each other, we have so much in common, and on top of that… you were kind to me. No one else was but you.”

“Aay,” Jeonghan smiled, shaking his head dismissively.

“I’m just being honest, Hannie,” he said, his voice turning echoey as he tipped the solo cup in his lips, taking in a gulp of Jeonghan’s drink. “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me.”

Joshua sucked in a breath pensively. “I am really bad at noticing things, but one thing I’m good at is noticing when something is bothering you.”

Jeonghan cursed this wavelength he shared with Joshua for a flashing thought. He could not hide from him, even when he wanted to.

“Why don’t you go back to that girl? We can talk about this later,” Jeonghan said, mustering up a light smile.

“I will if you come with me. She actually said she would be up for it,” Joshua arched the eyebrow adorned by a piercing, biting his smile.

The invitation was not rare to Jeonghan. Joshua and he had shared a partner a couple of times before. It was all fun and consensual sex, but Jeonghan thought that it was the worst idea he could ever agree to that night.

“Then don’t go,” Jeonghan whispered, hating that he did not have the guts to raise his voice any higher. “It’s true. Something’s changed.”

Joshua dropped his act, quitting the mission of uplifting Jeonghan’s mood at once. “Oh. What is it?”

“I think I…” Jeonghan’s shoulders went slack when he let out a big sigh. “Joshua, I like you.”

Joshua Hong froze, but there was an understanding in his eyes. “Mm,” he nodded, looking at the bonfire in front of them. “Since when?”

“Since that stupid Halloween party,” Jeonghan admitted with a hollow laugh, cursing at himself under his breath. He dropped his head forward, cradling it with his hands. “At first I thought it was nothing, that I was going crazy, but I can’t keep it anymore from you. I’m sorry.”

That Halloween party. Joshua thought it was the most fun he had experienced in one night. Jeonghan, ever the chaotic guy, burst into Joshua’s apartment, holding two perfectly identical black suits, a white button-up shirt, and dark sunglasses. ‘Wanna be the K to my J?’ And Joshua, ever the loyal friend, said yes without a second thought.

That night, Jeonghan knew for sure, he was falling in love with his best friend.

But, as the logs cracked in the bonfire, Joshua remained quiet. He has experienced this before with other people, friends that have grown feelings for him. He has turned so many people down that he lost count a long time ago. But this time… it deflated him painfully.

He watched his best friend lift his gaze, looking at the stars as if they held an answer for him. “I need you to tell me that nothing will ever happen between us, Joshua.”

Joshua knew that having a friend who had feelings for you counted as half a friendship. And Jeonghan knew that too, so it was better to face rejection now and walk away with his heart intact.

“Nothing will ever happen between us, Jeonghan,” he said, and it felt like a blow to his chest.

Jeonghan nodded, dropping his gaze to his own hands clasped tightly together. He had dreaded this answer. Granted, he did not expect to hear the opposite. But it still hurt. “That’s okay. I’ll move on. Take this as a goodbye party for us.”

There was a heavy silence between them that for the first time in months of knowing each other, they did not communicate. One heart was burdened with the weight of rejection. The other had a choice to make.

“But I still want us to be friends.”

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, turning his head to study his friend’s face. There, he found worry, his dark expressive eyes already glistening with loss.

“I mean, if-if you want to,” Joshua put quickly, shaking his head with a quick motion. “If you feel like you can’t be friends with me anymore, it’s okay. I will understand.”

Then Joshua dropped his gaze too, a detached manner surrounding his every move. It hurt, it hurt so bad. Joshua had just admitted how much he valued Jeonghan as a friend, and just like that, he was losing him in a moment.

Losing this friendship is what had been driving Jeonghan insane night after night after that Halloween party. The impossible choice that pushed him to lose his best friend forever, or continue living with the exhaustion of being unreciprocated.

“I think I’ll need some space to get over this,” Jeonghan said, his voice strangled by the painful feeling twisting his heart. Getting over Joshua would not be easy.

Jeonghan has had many partners throughout his life, but no heartbreak; he always kept himself guarded and everyone else at arm's length. Everyone except Joshua.

“I’ll give you whatever you need,” he promised at once, raising his gaze to match Jeonghan’s. “Tell me what you need, I’ll do it.”

At that moment, Jeonghan knew he had to renounce everything he felt for Joshua Hong. Whether it was attraction, a crush, or love, he would have to walk away from it. Jeonghan did not want to lose his best friend.

“I just need time,” Jeonghan tried to blink his pain away slowly. “I’ll forget about this, just give me time.”

Joshua nodded, full of certainty this time. He held out his pinky finger, raising his eyebrows once again. “You promise?”

Jeonghan looked at Joshua’s finger for one long second, then he looked at his eyes, lacing his pinky finger. “I promise,” he said, touching the pad of his thumb with Joshua’s in their secret way of sealing promises to each other.  

That night, Jeonghan made a promise not only to Joshua, but to himself as well. He would keep his heart well guarded until the right time came.

Now.

“You have one chance,” Jeonghan muttered pointedly, putting a hand on Joshua’s chest to help himself create some inches of distance. “Decide if this is what you truly want. Decide it now.”

Joshua frowned; firmly cupping the back of Jeonghan’s head still, not letting him go. “Wait,” he breathed, sucking in a breath as his brain started to swim. “I d-don’t know what I’m doing. I– I…”

“Then I think that we should stop. Right now,” Jeonghan replied, applying some pressure on his chest, but to no effect.

Joshua dared to open his eyes, shaking with a mixture of excitement and relief inside that it was hard for him to speak. “I don’t think I want to,” he blurted. “I- I don’t want to stop,” he decided, breathing raggedly still.

“You can’t do this, Joshua,” Jeonghan gritted, a part of him wanted to burst into a rageful bout again at him. “I can’t do this…” and then in a resigned way, he pleaded: “Don’t play with me.”

Joshua’s hand fidgeted on the back of Jeonghan’s head, slowly letting go of the hem of his hoodie. “I know—I know this is sudden,” Joshua whispered, licking his lips in nervousness. “Give me the chance to explain, please. I’ll tell you everything.”

At that Jeonghan desisted, ceasing to try and create some distance. While the fluttering sensation kept kicking inside him, the gears in his brain had started turning too. Joshua was his best friend; even if Jeonghan loved him, he could not let himself be the object of his exploration. If this failed…

“Is this what you truly want, Joshua?” Jeonghan reiterated with more urgency, his tone dropping to a mere whisper as well.

Joshua’s heart stilled for one second. In truth, the kiss had left him dizzy with overjoy and relief to find out the answer to the question he had been asking himself for weeks and maybe even, months. “It is,” he nodded, but then his brow furrowed. “Do you want to do this, Jeonghan? Do- do you still… Do you want me?”

Jeonghan mirrored him, placing a hand on Joshua’s nape as a sharp gasp left him. This time, they sealed their lips with an eager kiss, moving to explore each other. Jeonghan lifted his other hand, cupping his cheek to kiss him harder in euphoric fruition, eliciting a strangled moan from Joshua.

Kissing Jeonghan was sweet, even gentler than Joshua had ever dared to imagine all those nights as he watched and rewatched him with you in all those videos, and in real life. Joshua discovered that Jeonghan’s lips were soft, slotting between his perfectly, his tongue touching his in perfect sync.

“Should I take that as a yes?” Joshua exhaled softly raising his eyebrows in question.

“We have a lot to catch up with,” Jeonghan agreed with a tiny nod of his head. “But yes. The answer is yes.”

Jeonghan was nervous, his fingers trembling a little when he slid his hand from Joshua’s cheek to the nape, cupping the back of his head with both hands to then press a gentle kiss on his lips. Both of them were still solidifying their decision, giving each other shy, tentative kisses.

“I need to talk to Bunny,” Joshua blurted, pausing for air.  

“Don’t you mean we?” Jeonghan teased, smiling with the corners of his eyes.

“We need to talk to her,” he backed away reluctantly, still brimming with relief.

“Let’s go do that now,” Jeonghan motioned to the door, darting a look at his features to reaffirm that he was right. With a knowing smirk, he continued approaching the door, holding it open for Joshua.

“Yeah, okay,” Joshua gave one step to the door, then another, feeling lightheaded.

“We could take the elevator,” Jeonghan suggested, noticing the hesitant sway in Joshua’s movements.

As the doors slid close, Jeonghan crossed his arms, snorting out a laugh.

“Stop it,” Joshua warned.

“You really are full of surprises, Joshuji,” he teased, biting a cheeky grin.

Joshua slapped his best friend’s shoulder. “I told you to stop,” the tips of his ears were red.

“Alright, alright,” he stepped out of the elevator, calmly walking towards the apartment door.

There is no turning back now, Joshua thought, following Jeonghan down the hall, filling his tummy with one large gulp of air. Jeonghan was waiting for him, one hand on the handle ready to go in.

“Before we do this,” Jeonghan muttered, meeting his gaze. “Is there anything else you need to say to me?”

Biting his lip, he shook his head no. “Not right now,” he replied with another weary sigh. “Let’s do this.”

They exchanged a meaningful look, one that told years of knowing each other so well, that they were the extension of one another. This time, though, much like the last time they discussed their feelings, there was a gap between them. Joshua did not know what it was.

To Jeonghan, this was a fragile point in his friendship with Joshua. Granted, there were many times when he thought that the friendship would wane and come to an end. Ever since he found out about his feelings for you, a wall stood before him and Joshua, one that he would look over, or see through. But still, it was there.

But now, Joshua was finally tearing through that wall.

The moment was cut short when Jeonghan turned the handle, pushing the door open. Joshua’s expectations were quickly overturned when he found you standing on the kitchen floor, a hand flying to your chest.

“You startled me,” you gasped.

“Sorry, baby,” Jeonghan said with ease, casting an obvious look towards Joshua.  

Though not obvious to you. “I, uh… Listen, Josh,” you started promptly, looking at both your boyfriends with some shame showing in your features. “I owe you an apology.”

Joshua gaped at you as though he had forgotten how to speak. “What? No, baby, I should apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

Your shoulders went slack. “Oh, so you’re not thinking of quitting the band anymore?” you glanced at Jeonghan, who only looked suspiciously shifty.

“No,” Joshua exhaled. “Baby, why don’t you take a seat? So we can talk. All of us.”

You looked at both men in utter confusion, they looked different somehow. And the weight of the tension between them startled you. “What’s going on?” you asked with caution. “Can’t you tell me right here?”

“Let’s sit down,” Jeonghan urged, and the nervousness about him did nothing to calm yours.

You skirted between them to take a seat on the armchair, bringing your knees up to hug them as a coping mechanism to keep yourself together. Then waited quietly, heart beating faster upon having the realization that there was more than both your boyfriends were letting on.

“What’s going on?” you repeated, following them with your gaze as they took a seat next to each other on the couch. When they did not reply right away, your tummy started twisting with worry: “Wha-what is happening? Jeonghan?”

You had grown used to their wordless exchanges of communication but could never know what they were planning. That still irritated you.

Joshua opened his mouth, holding his breath as he formulated in his head how to say what had happened on the rooftop moments before. His eyebrows drew in, flashing a worried look at Jeonghan.

“You’re so fucking bad at this, Joshua,” Jeonghan reproached, locking his sweet brown eyes with yours. “Baby, listen calmly–,”

“Wait,” Joshua placed a hand on Jeonghan’s knee, commanding him to a halt at once. “Be gentle. Don’t do this how I think you’ll do it.”

“She can take it,” Jeonghan argued back, throwing an annoyed look at him.

Joshua rolled his eyes swiftly. “I know she can, but I know you’ll be blunt and–,”

“We actually have talked about this before–,”

Your mouth was hanging open at the quick exchange between them. “I’m confused,” you quickly cut in. “Talked about what? Why are you being weird? Both of you.”  

Joshua let out a sharp exhale in utter frustration. “I kissed Jeonghan. We kissed.”

A numb feeling came over your face, barely able to feel your eyebrows lifting. It took you more than two seconds to fully grasp what Joshua had said. It became clearer to you as the seconds rolled on, there was no explanation needed. But it was still hard to come up with an answer with so little information.

Jeonghan noticed first that you were looking for more than a one-sentence explanation. “Baby, there is no better way to tell you this, we were talking, and it just happened…”

Your mind was reeling, blood pulsing in your ears that it was hard to hear what Jeonghan was trying to explain to you. Light-headed, your eyes swam to Joshua, then to Jeonghan as he continued speaking. Worry flashed across Joshua’s features, he moved his hand from Jeonghan’s thigh and then to his shoulder.

“Just happened? You-you’re t-telling me that…”

“Baby,” Joshua cut in. “Jeonghan, wait–,”

“What does this mean?” you asked an ecstatic rush of blood making you shudder in your seat.

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” Joshua sent Jeonghan a short look and he nodded. “We came straight to you so we could talk about it.”

“Well, what do you want to do?” you asked both of them.

They went still as they exchanged another one of those long looks. “Listen,” Jeonghan started with a soothing tone, turning to Joshua. “You need to think if this is all part of your exploration. Because I’d hate to be used as part of your self-discovery if you decide down the line that this isn’t for you.”

Joshua’s shoulders went slack, exhaling softly through his nose. You knew it was hard for him to voice what he felt, but it became more difficult for you to follow what was happening since they just communicated with one meaningful look that took over one long and silent moment.

Then you saw it, the long look progressing between them, and whatever they communicated seemed to dawn on Jeonghan, his eyes widened, his bottom lip parting slightly in awe.

“Since when?” Jeonghan asked meaningfully, his tone was low and for a moment, you knew it was hard for him to even utter the sentence.

“I wish I knew,” Joshua blinked slowly, raising his eyebrows in a sign of frustration. “I want to say that since the night of the first threesome. But I’m not entirely sure that it wasn’t since before that.”

“Is this why you were confused all this time?” Jeonghan frowned slightly, you had never heard him use that voice. It was similar to the one he used whenever he had a serious conversation with you. But this time it sounded slightly thicker, as if he were choking with some emotion that you could not quite place.

Joshua only nodded, pressing his lips together in a tight line. His throat bobbed as he seemed to be trying to gulp down the same emotion as Jeonghan.

“And you’re sure this is not just part of what you are trying to explore?” he asked, drawing out the last word in a way that was meaningful between them. “Because if it is… I don’t think I can take it.”

“Hold on,” you intervened, leaning forward to try and capture their expressions, to read them both at the same time. “Please, explain to me what’s happening. I’m lost.”

“Listen, both of you,” Joshua straightened on the seat, pushing himself to the border of the couch, trying to direct himself at you and Jeonghan at the same time. “I am not sure when it started, but I know that I feel attracted to you both. I think I felt confused because it’s the first time something like this has happened.”

“So you never felt jealous of Jeonghan and I?” you inquired, tilting your head to one side.

“I did, I don’t know,” Joshua let out a giggle in utter shame, rubbing a hand on his flushed face. “I think I was, but at the same time I never did anything to really put a stop to it.”

“That was confusing to me too,” Jeonghan muttered between his teeth, turning his gaze away, and planting his elbows on his knees. “Remember I told you?”

Joshua nodded. “I think I would’ve gone insane if you had told me that you wanted a threesome with someone else,” he told you as though he could not stop himself. “And when I asked you if you had feelings for Jeonghan, I understood. I was jealous, yes, but I was also annoyed that Jeonghan could do that to me.”

At that, Jeonghan started laughing. Nothing was funny, but tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes.

Joshua gave him a worried look. “It took me some time to understand that.”

Jeonghan sighed, gathering an invisible tear with one lithe finger. You ignored him, given that you were either too bewildered to reproach him for his attitude or even to understand why he was laughing. “How did you? I mean, how did you understand that you also had an attraction to him?”

“Well…” Joshua drew in a breath slowly, gathering his words. “I went away, and you guys started sending me the videos…”

Then you understood the reason for Jeonghan’s crazed laughter. The man chuckled lightly again, shaking his head.

“Don’t make me whack you,” Joshua gritted at Jeonghan, but you could see a light spark of amusement in his eyes.

“Alright,” Jeonghan raised his hands in surrender. “But it is kind of funny,” he coughed, and Joshua clicked his tongue.  

Your gaze fixated on them, feeling obfuscated still. “Are you saying you realized how you truly felt because of the videos?”

“Part of it, yes. I think the other part, the most predominant one, was also being with you both,” Joshua said tentatively, tilting his head to one shoulder. “I couldn’t explain why I wanted to see Jeonghan with you. I used to think that I enjoyed watching you two together but now I know. I like being with you both.”

A part of you was thoroughly convinced that this was bound to happen. You did not know why, but this was not totally unexpected. Joshua was very vague with his reasoning when he told you he wanted Jeonghan to be included in your relationship.

But hearing him say it was totally different. It made you feel elated, as though there was nothing that could make your relationship better.

“And what do you want, Jeonghan?” you asked, shifting your gaze to him.

Your heart dropped upon remembering what Jeonghan told you some days before Joshua came back: he had to renounce his feelings for Joshua. You understood how Jeonghan must have felt when hearing Joshua’s confession; he did not want to be played with.

Jeonghan fidgeted, brushing his knuckles against each other. His eyes were fixed on the floor. “I think I want this, but I don’t want to lie, Joshua, I am a little weary of the sudden change. Because it feels very sudden to me,” he took one breath, mustering up strength. “I mean, how are we going to do this? Are you going to be able to manage this?”

There was a shared understanding of what he meant. Joshua had been struggling to keep the relationship away from the media’s following and the perusing from his fans.

“From my perspective, it makes things easier for me,” Joshua shrugged slightly, pushing his bottom lip outward in a pout. “It gives me the chance to really allow myself to express what I feel.”

“So, do you want to keep it a secret too?” Jeonghan asked, and you understood what his inner conflict was.

“I want to keep both of you away from the public’s attention as much as possible,” Joshua explained, keeping a soothing tone.

Jeonghan eased back into the couch, nodding slightly with his head. “Okay, then,” he whispered to Joshua, then turned his gaze back to you. “Are you okay with this, princess?”

There it was, the reason why you loved them both. They could be a chaotic mess, but they would always agree on prioritizing how you felt.

“Of course I am,” you showed them a small smile, pushing yourself to your feet to approach them, standing in between them. They raised their gazes to look at you in an almost perfect sync. “There is nothing I would love more than the two of you figuring out your feelings for each other.”

“Are you sure, baby?” Joshua asked, gently grabbing your hand to kiss your knuckles, keeping his dark eyes on you. “We want you to feel comfortable with this.”

“I’m sure,” you nodded. “I want what’s best for us. I’m happy as long as we’re all on the same page.”

A small smile drew on Jeonghan’s face. Despite the initial nervousness he showed you, he looked pleased with your reaction. You ran a hand through the dark hairs of his long fringe, making him blink repeatedly.

“Is that settled then?” you asked meekly.

Jeonghan turned his head to look at Joshua, whose tired eyes turned remorseful. He squeezed his hand before he bent to give your knuckles another kiss. “I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I should’ve never spoken to you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you replied, returning the squeeze to his hand. “I pushed you to talk about it. It’s–,”

“It’s not okay,” he quickly cut in, but he was sweet about it. His tone was honeyed, and his eyes glistened as he glanced at you and Jeonghan. “I’m just too stressed, I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.”

“We need to think of something, Joshua. You can’t just let your feelings bottle up,” Jeonghan said, but then, he coughed up a laugh. “Well, both of you.”

“Me?” you asked with a high-pitched giggle, making them smile at you. “I agree,” you said with a more serious tone. “I am trying to not do that anymore, you know?”

“We know, princess,” Jeonghan replied sweetly to you.

“I’m trying too,” Joshua said, then sighed.

“Have you heard of something called therapy?” Jeonghan joked, emitting a low chuckle when Joshua deadpanned at him, threatening to use his other hand to whack him. “Ah—Okay, I’ll stop! Don’t need to get violent!”

“I don’t get it, why not put the suitcase on the bed? It makes things easier!” Jeonghan said with a smile, sitting down on the pillows of the bed, leaning back against the headboard, phone in his hand, but his eyes were on you.

“Suitcase dirty, bed clean,” you replied, bringing a hand to your mouth to suppress a yawn.

“Oh, are you feeling sleepy, princess?” he noticed, a smile stretching on his lips. “I told you to pack everything earlier, you could be taking a nap.”

“I had that thing with Yena and then you guys surprised me…” you shrugged, folding things on your lap before putting them in the carry-on. “I’m almost done,” you gasped, making Jeonghan shoot you a glance. “I forgot that you asked me to trim your hair!”

Jeonghan’s shoulders relaxed. “Ah, princess, forget it,” he said. “I’ll just wait until we get back.”

You shook your head, shaking your palm frantically too. “No, no, no, let me finish packing and I can do it,” you said, folding your clothes a bit faster.

“It’s okay,” he insisted, discarding his phone on the bedside. “I need to go back to mine to pack a bag too.”

“So you’re not staying tonight?” you asked, wide-eyed in disappointment.

“I don’t want to drive all the way there and back,” he drew his eyebrows inward when you pouted at him. “What? Why are you making that face?”

“I thought you were staying the night with us,” you reproached, keeping your pout until your eyes started to water, completing a full sulky act. “Please stay.”

“But I have to pack my things too!” he replied, now chuckling at your childishness.

“Joshua can lend you clothes!”

At that moment, Joshua was returning to the bedroom, pocketing his phone in the pocket of his baggy jeans. “What’s up?” he asked, eyeing you and Jeonghan curiously.

You pointed at Jeonghan with one finger. “He’s not staying the night!” you said impishly, making Jeonghan laugh out loud.

“I need to pack my shit!” he argued back, keeping the light chuckle on.

“You don’t need it!” you said, trying not to laugh at yourself. “Joshua can lend you things.”

“I need my passport, princess,” Jeonghan said before Joshua could agree to your idea, which he was getting ready to do.

“Ah, that’s right,” you conceded with a sigh. You got up from the floor, reminding yourself to pocket your passport too. One of the drawers from your closet was the designated place for things that did not belong anywhere else entirely. That is where you keep your passport. “I made space in one of the drawers for you ages ago, Hannie.”

You sneaked a look at the man still lounging on the pillows of your bed. He looked panicked for a second, his mouth forming a syllable that he could not voice out. “I, uh, I forget to bring stuff in.”

Joshua noticed the same thing you did on Jeonghan’s face, a knowing look crossing his features. “You could leave some things here. It would save you the trips back to your apartment.”

Jeonghan gaped at Joshua for a second, but you were quicker. “Or you could move in,” you threw in abruptly, the words bouncing off your tongue so unexpectedly that you almost clamp a hand over your mouth.

Joshua glanced at you curiously. “True,” he said, keeping a loose demeanour as he walked over to the closet and pretended to fish out a clean t-shirt for himself. “You know, we’re in the brink of being booted out of here. We could start looking at options.”

A light frown appeared on Jeonghan’s perfect face, his eyes deadpanning from you to Joshua. You could hear the gears of his brain turning from the corner of the bedroom you were standing on. You fidgeted with the sleeves of your sweater, dropping your gaze to the floor before muttering: “I’m already looking at options.”

At that, Joshua could no longer keep his act, he blinked slowly, letting out a characteristic airy chuckle. “For us three?”

“Yeah,” you admitted bashfully. “I was thinking…”

Joshua stopped pretending to busy himself arranging things from his drawer and turned around so he could look at you and Jeonghan, who remained frozen, his face painted in pure bewilderment. “Go on?”

You sighed, dropping your fidgeting hands to your sides. You paced to the bed, crawling on it with your hands and knees cutely. “Well,” you sat back on your hunches, next to Jeonghan. “You spend a lot of time here already, Hannie. And Josh will finish his tour in a week and will be spending more time home,” you shrugged coyly. “I want it to be us three, you know?”

There was a silence, one that Joshua did not dare interrupt, but Jeonghan was silently agape. The frown on his face told Joshua that Jeonghan might have not been ready for a proposition like yours.

“Why don’t we leave this conversation for when I get back from touring?” he asked, keeping his tone cool. “We could go apartment hunting together.”

You caught the misdirect, nodding your head dumbly. “I’d like that,” you replied, sending a swift glance at Jeonghan, who still lay motionless beside you.

Joshua concealed a smile by turning his back on both you and Jeonghan, continuing to gather the things he intended to pack and those that needed a wash before packing them up too. He was unaware of Jeonghan stretching an arm, reaching out to give you a gentle caress on your thigh, snapping you from a trance.

“Help me trim my hair?” Jeonghan asked softly, drawing invisible lines with the pads of his fingers on your skin.

You looked at his pouty mouth and showed him a smile. “Of course, Hannie.”

“Are you okay with this, baby?” Jeonghan asked, following you inside the bathroom.

“I am, Hannie,” you said, motioning to the bathtub. “Sit.”

“Here. I grabbed them from your desk,” Jeonghan said, handing you a pair of scissors as he sat on the rim of the bathtub.

You grabbed them, giggling at how determined he looked. “This won’t do, Jeonghan,” you told him softly, putting the scissors on the sink’s countertop. “We have proper shears,” you said as you opened the mirror cabinet, taking the shears, a hand towel, and a comb.

“Ah, silly me,” he muttered, but you noticed his eyes were trained on every movement you made, wandering from your hands to your face.

“Yeah, silly you,” you replied with a soft smile. “I told you to get an appointment with the hairdresser.”

“I know you did. I forgot,” he said, his gaze trailing to the rest of your body. His teeth sunk on his bottom lip, that was how you knew he was trying to conceal a smirk.

“Did you?” you arched a brow, smiling with him when he could no longer hold it in.

“I trust you more with this,” he said with ease, even adding a small shrug.

“Please don’t get your hopes high. I’ve only ever done this once and it was to myself,” you sighed, running the comb through his hair. “Hannie, look down,” you said, giggling when you nearly poked his eyes with the teeth of the comb.

“Right,” he cleared his throat, tearing his gaze from you.

“Here I go,” you whispered, starting to trim down the edges of his hair.

The blades of the shears made a nice metallic sound, pairing with Jeonghan’s breathing. He sat still for you, his hands resting on his thighs.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, baby?” Jeonghan asked, speaking quieter than before. His eyes were still lowered, but you could tell that he wanted to glance at the expression on your face.

You paused halfway through, but without removing the shears so he had no chance to move. You understood then that he did not intend on trimming his hair. This was what he had wanted to achieve from the beginning, to get you two alone to talk about the recent turn of events.

“Why wouldn’t I be, Hannie?” you asked softly at first, resuming to trim his fringe.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled quietly. “All I’m thinking is that if this is sudden to me, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you.”

“It’s also sudden to me,” you conceded with a hushed tone, worried that Joshua might hear from the bedroom. “But I think this is best for us.”

“Really?” he asked, but you knew this was the kind of questions he made to keep you talking before he got to the point.

“Yes, really,” you replied sweetly, ruffling the hairs of his fringe.

“Do you really think that?” he pressed, but there was no concern in his tone. He sounded almost surprised.

“I think that perhaps you both wanted this since before I came to the picture, you know?” you mumbled, focusing on trimming his fringe evenly.

“Even when I told you I didn’t have feelings for Joshua anymore?”

You paused. When you told Jeonghan about your argument with Joshua, his immediate response was to do whatever was within his ability to fix it, to make it all better for him. You did not know how their conversation happened, but you knew that Jeonghan would have done anything to break Joshua out of his anxious mind.

“Jeonghan, I know you’re sure about your feelings and I don’t want to question that…” you smiled to yourself, a distant feeling of déjà vu creeping in the back of your mind. “But I’ve seen the way you look at him. There are some things you can’t lie about.”

You lowered your hands to your sides, finally allowing him to raise his gaze to meet your eyes. He smiled softly. “Oh yeah? And how is that exactly?” he teased.

“You know how,” you shrugged meekly, trying to make the conversation end there. But he kept looking at you, expecting a real answer. “Sometimes you give him the same looks you give me,” you finished with a smile.

“Well, I just have one pair of eyes!” he said, chuckling playfully. “What can I do? I can’t give him different looks-,”

“I mean, you’ve told me that you think he’s sexy. You admitted that you liked him years ago. And you share a bed with him and me. Maybe those feelings never left, maybe…” you giggled nervously when he had to bite his smile to keep himself from laughing with you. “Maybe those feelings just went dormant for a time.”

“Oh, you really are an expert, huh?” he quipped, his gaze followed you as you covered your face in shame, laughing with him.

“I’m just saying that I don’t think it’s bad that you have always felt a certain way for him. It’s okay,” you reassured.

“So you’re really okay with this?” he asked, lowering his tone to a more serious one.

You nodded quietly, brushing his long hair with your fingers. “This will be good for us.”

Jeonghan raised a hand to find the curve of your waist, pulling you carefully to plant a kiss on your tummy over your clothes. “Thank you, princess,” he muttered, still locking eyes with you. “I never imagined this would happen. So I guess I should thank you for being so supportive.”

“Don’t thank me, Jeonghan,” you smiled. “This might be sudden but I’m sure we’ll work it out. I know you are on the fence on this still. But maybe just give him the opportunity to show you. You know how hard it is for him too.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jeonghan mumbled, staring off at the distance.

“That is the truth,” you said matter-of-factly, smiling sweetly at him before booping his nose with the tip of your finger.

“What is?” he asked dumbly, finding your eyes again.

“I am always right.”

Jeonghan grabbed his phone from your bedside table and his car keys, glancing your way curiously. He clicked his tongue, smiling when he realized you were still sulking. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said with a flat tone.

“I’m not looking,” you replied meekly, turning away to pace back to the living room, knowing he would be tagging along behind you.

“Tsk,” without looking, you knew the smile on his face was wider as he said: “You’ll see me tomorrow first thing in the morning.”

“I know,” you rolled your eyes as you got to the living room.

“Then why are you sulking? What did I do now?” Jeonghan asked behind you.

Joshua lifted his head when he heard you approach. He was sitting on the couch, his acoustic guitar sitting on his thigh.

You crossed your arms, shrugging. “Nothing,” you mumbled, but stood some steps before him as he grabbed the handle to the front door with one hand.

Jeonghan straightened up. “Well then, I’m gonna go now, and if you don’t tell me what is upsetting you right now, then you’re going to have to wait until the morning.”

“What, you don’t do phone calls now?” you retorted.

“Nope. I’m not picking up the phone tonight, I need my beauty sleep,” he joked, but when you did not even show him the tiniest of smiles, he turned the door handle. “I’ll be going now, in three… two…”

Joshua smiled from where he sat, watching the whole exchange while knowing Jeonghan was just playing with you, and that you would fall right into the game.

Jeonghan twisted the handle and cracked the door open just a bit, the mischief in his eyes shining more when you dropped your hands on your sides exasperatedly.

“Fine!” you snapped. “I’ll tell you, just–close the door, okay?” you stammered.

The door was closed quietly and Jeonghan dropped his hand, turning to face you with a grin on his face. “I’m listening,” he cooed triumphantly.

You gaped at him for a long second, then deadpanned over to Joshua, who bit his lip to avoid smiling one more time. He knew you well, probably better than Jeonghan, so he knew that you had been letting some thoughts sit in your mind for a time. Those thoughts begin to bother you over time, showing in your every action.

Joshua shrugged slightly, figuratively stepping aside, and pushing you to speak from the heart, although he suspecting what was bothering you already. And Jeonghan started to suspect too.

You sighed in resignation, shying away slightly by pretending to scratch and invisible itch on your forehead. “You haven’t brought clothes yet,” you mumbled.

Joshua snorted quietly.

“Shut up,” you hissed, sending him a bashful look. He showed you his palms in truce, setting his guitar on its stand, and deciding to keep being witness to your conversation with Jeonghan.

“I’ve forgotten to do it,” Jeonghan replied, furrowing his brow a little. “You’re mad because I haven’t brought a change of clothes yet?”

“I emptied a drawer for you weeks ago,” you extended an arm, pointing to the direction of the bedroom.

Jeonghan’s mouth fell open a little, then he chuckled lightly. “Princess don’t tell me this is the reason why you’ve been pouting at me.”

“What if it is?” you lifted your chin a little in indignation.

“I told you I’d bring some clothes, but I forget,” he said, sending a meaningful look at Joshua.

“I’m not helping you on this one,” Joshua replied.

Jeonghan clicked his tongue once again. “Really?” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, I’ll bring in some clothes with me next time. Happy?”

“We’ll see,” you huffed, but your features broke into a meek smile. “I just wanted you to stay the night,” you admitted.

“I know,” Jeonghan said, rolling his eyes. “But it’s been a chaotic day, and I haven’t packed my things yet. I really need to go now.”

“Alright,” you conceded at last and reached out to wrap your arms around Jeonghan’s torso.

Joshua giggled softly, watching from where he sat the way you tilted your head back to receive a small kiss from Jeonghan. His stomach twisted slightly as he watched Jeonghan make a trail of pecks from your forehead to your nose, finishing with a kiss on your lips. It seemed for a second that this was something of a routine for you.

Jeonghan cupped your face with his hands, looking at you for a short moment. “Love you,” he muttered softly.

At that, Joshua blinked away, wondering why he felt like intruding in the moment. “I love you too,” he heard you reply in a small tone, almost as if shy.

Nervously, Joshua looked up again, finding Jeonghan’s eyes flitting on his direction. Neither of them said anything, they just exchanged glances, trying to communicate something that still escaped both of their understanding.

The moment reverted Joshua to that night in front of the campfire, when Jeonghan first confessed his feelings for the first time. That night, they were both on very different pages when it came to their feelings. And now it no longer felt the same, but there was a lot to reconcile.

Joshua understood, and gave a tiny nod, which Jeonghan reciprocated with a tight smile, he opened the door and stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

You turned around, a confused look in your face. “Do you think he’s okay?” you asked innocently, shuffling towards the couch.

“Let him be,” Joshua said, reaching out for your hand as you came closer. “He’s okay.”

“Mmm,” you hummed thoughtfully, letting Joshua tug your hand, motioning to sit on his lap. “Was I hasty in inviting him to live with us?”

Joshua wrapped his arms around your body as you snuggled up to his. “A little,” he said softly, giggling at the worried expression on your face. “He knows that you were thinking about it way before we kissed. But I think that he and I need to work some things out before he decides on moving in with us, baby.”

“Yeah,” you said deflatingly, looking away. “Maybe I rushed again,” you brought your hands to your face, covering it in utter shame.

Joshua giggled sweetly, lacing his fingers as he hugged your body tightly to his. “Just give him some time, he’ll say yes.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” you mumbled, parting your fingers to sneak a look at him.

“No, but I know that he needs some time to warm up to the idea,” he said, and finding your expression cute he smiled, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“Ugh, I feel bad now,” you sighed, dropping your hands from your face.

“Don’t worry. He’s probably playing hard to get,” he added, expecting you to smile, but you started biting your lip, eyes lost on the distance. “Hey,” Joshua mumbled softly.

“Yeah?” you replied, looking back to him.

“Don’t overthink it, baby,” he said, squeezing your body gently with his arms. “He’ll say yes.”

You nodded, bringing a hand to cup his cheek, running the pad of your thumb on his skin lovingly. “How are you Josh?” you asked meaningfully, reading his face.

“I’m okay,” he replied with a sweet tone, knowing that you were looking to have a deeper conversation with him. “I’m truly sorry about the way I spoke to you earlier.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it,” you mumbled, taking your fingers to thread his brown hair. “Are you feeling better now?”

He blinked a couple of times when your fingernails scratched his scalp softly. “I feel less stressed, baby,” he conceded, but then he looked away, gathering his thoughts before adding: “I think I need to put more limits between my life and my career.”

“Why?” you asked, your tone low but sweet. You looked at him carefully, admiring the quiet calm in his entire demeanour. “What’s happening, Josh?”

He sighed, his gaze returning to your features. “I just feel like life is slipping away too fast and I am too slow to catch it.”

You hummed, weighing in his words while looking at his face. “What if what’s happening is not for you to catch it but just watch it pass by, savoring what’s really important?”

His features were taken over by a smile, one that you loved seeing on his face. It was fond and full of sweet love for you. He brought a hand to your face, pinching your nose gently. “You’re right, bunny.”

You sighed. “I always am.”

You woke up some minutes before your alarm went off.

Joshua had an arm draped over your waist, the other was tucked under your head, his bicep forming a dull pillow for you. Unaware of how long you had been laying like this, you tried turning over, facing your boyfriend who slept soundly. He decided to go to bed without a shirt on, so you were now face to face his bare chest, his pecs bulging some inches from your nose.

Without much thinking, you closed the distance, pressing a kiss on his chest, where his heart was. You nuzzled his chest with your face, breathing in the smell of his skin, enjoying the warmth he radiated. Slowly, you felt him stir back to life, waking up to your small acts of affection.

“Mmn,” he began, his hands searching your body to hug you closer. “What time is it?”

“Morning sleepy head,” you cooed softly, pressing another kiss on his chest. “It’s nearly five AM.”

“We gotta go?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, we gotta go,” you tilted your head back to look at his face. “We have meet with Hannie in thirty minutes.”

“Five more minutes,” he whispered, blindly finding your face with his lips, pressing them on your forehead.

“Okay,” you breathed, but you knew it would be more difficult for you to slip back into your dreams. That was something you would envy from Joshua, his ability to sleep whenever and wherever. But now, you just enjoyed watching him sleep, his soft breathing sounds the way his eyelashes seemed to tremble slightly as he slept.

Your fingers itched to reach out and caress his face, to outline the beautiful curve of his lips. For a moment, the love you felt for him brimmed so abundantly that you ached to grab his face and kiss it, interrupting his sleep again. But you stopped yourself, knowing that the alarm would go off soon, and he would get to lay in the peaceful bundle of warmth with you.

You thought of everything that went down last night, the conversations, Jeonghan, everything from the moment you met him. Part of you wondered if Joshua was as amazed as you were at the recent turn of events. Deep down, you knew something like this was bound to happen ever since the proposition of starting a polycule was presented by Joshua, but the fact that it had actually come to pass was a bit astonishing to you.

But you were happy that Jeonghan and Joshua had found an opportunity to air their feelings out. Somehow, you found it funny that they seemed to always find a way to fall together.

The alarm finally went off, and you turned over to reach for your phone on the nightstand to turn it off and turned again to face him. “Five more minutes?” he asked, letting out an airy giggle. “I don’t want to get up,” he mumbled, closing his arms around you tightly, pushing your face to his chest.

“I know, babe, but we have to, or we’ll miss our plane,” you muttered against the tight crevice between his pecs.

Joshua laughed at the muffled sound of your voice. “Why did we have to get the tickets this early in the morning?” he whined, but sounded more awake now.

“To avoid being seen? And also, we need to accommodate in the room, have lunch and you need to rehearse before your show tonight,” you reminded him, trying to create some inches between his chest and your face to take a fresh gulp of air. “Babe, come on, let’s go.”

“Okay, alright,” he smiled, shocking you with the way he was beaming some minutes after waking up.

“You’re in a chirpy mood,” you pointed as he let you go from his tight embrace. Rolling out of bed, you heard him click his tongue. “I mean it, you’re never this energetic as soon as you wake up.”

“I’m just happy to be finishing the tour already,” he sighed, jumping out of bed too.

“Mmm-huh,” you teased as you removed your sleep-wear.

“I’m serious,” he sighed happily. “The sooner I am done with this tour, the sooner I am back home.”

“Okay, yes, but are you sure you’re not also happy because of a certain someone?” you sneaked a look as you clasped a clean bra behind your back.

Joshua wrinkled his nose as he fixed the bedsheets and covers on the bed. “No,” he replied but the smile on his face betrayed him. “Well, maybe.”

“God, you two,” you clicked your tongue, shaking your head lightly as you changed your pants.

Joshua paced to where you stood, right before the wardrobe as you finished putting on your clothes. He circled an arm over your lower back, pulling you closer. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” he mumbled, his morning voice sweet and low, but slightly raspy.

“Mmm, I have to admit it’s slightly surprising but, you know what?” you tilted your head back to see him. “I’m happy you guys are trying this out,” you said, wrapping your arms around his bare torso. “I think it’ll work out.”

“Yeah, me too,” he smiled softly, leaning his face so he could press a loving kiss on your forehead. “Me too, baby.”

The hotel room that Jeonghan had booked for you was so spacious that it did not seem intended for two people alone. “Why are there rose petals on the bed?” you asked upon arriving to the room and immediately deciding to explore it.

“I told the front desk we’re newly married,” Jeonghan said with a low chuckle.

“Why?” you asked slowly.

“For funsies,” he shrugged, pushing his sunglasses up to the crown of his head. “They gave us the bigger room, with a jacuzzi in it.”

“A what?” you blurted, looking at Jeonghan as he opened the double doors that you had suspected lead to the bathroom, which was spacious enough to host a jacuzzi, which was also adorned with two swan-shaped towels sitting on the brim.

“Pffft,” Jeonghan laughed at the towel swans, which were forming a heart as well.

“This is going overboard, Hannie,” you crossed your arms, sending a look at him when he smiled mischievously.

“You said no to jacuzzi sex, right?” he asked, trying to keep his expression blank, but broke into a laugh when you just glared at him. “Alright, alright, what do you want me to do? They gave us the bigger bed because I said we’re married!”

You conceded with a smile of your own. “I’ll tell you what you could do,” you shifted on your feet, walking away from the large bathroom and returned to the suite. “Buy me a ring next time, since you two love to rave about marriage.”

“What?” you heard him tagging along behind you. “You’re telling me Joshua has done this too?”

“Mm-huh,” you sighed, opening your bag to retrieve your laptop, placing it on the desk that was pushed to the corner of the suite and sat down.

“Really?” he sighed, and you tried to bite back a smile.

There was a knock on the door that made Jeonghan straighten his back, already knowing who it was. Joshua had been busy in rehearsals, and the flight over had been so short that Jeonghan had little opportunity to actually see and talk to him.

With visible hesitation, Jeonghan shuffled towards the door, opening it and turning his back right away. You looked at him through the corner of your eye, sinking your teeth on your bottom lip a bit harder upon seeing his blank face.

“Hi, handsome,” you chirped, looking at him cross the door of the suite with a confused look on his face.

“Hi, beautiful,” he replied, matching your tone. He glanced Jeonghan’s way once before approaching you. “Why did we get the luxury suite?” he asked, leaning down to place a kiss on your cheek.

“Ask Jeonghan,” you smiled at him.

Joshua frowned lightly and nodded. “Got work?” he motioned to the laptop, which you rarely used since you preferred working on your PC at home.

“Yeah, I have to review my draft before handing it over,” you sighed. After your chat with Yena, you agreed that you would turn in your first draft for the second book. You were submitting it on time, although there were some things you were not thoroughly content with, you could work them out later in the second revision.

“Okay,” he whispered, giving you a reassuring smile before lifting his gaze to find Jeonghan.

Jeonghan had opened the sliding doors to the balcony, where he perched his elbows on the banister, leaning over it to look at the city below him.

“Go talk to him,” you encouraged Joshua with a soft tone, seeing the reluctance in his eyes.  

“Yeah, I…” he breathed in, fixing his clothes awkwardly before stepping out on the balcony with Jeonghan, closing the door to give you some privacy to work and for them to talk. “Hey,” he muttered softly.

Jeonghan eyed him curiously. “Hi,” he mumbled.

There was a long pause, longer than Joshua would have liked, since he did not do well with deep conversations, especially those that required him to talk about what he felt first. But something had been bothering him ever since he sat with you and Jeonghan to talk about where the polycule would head, now that he had taken the decision to articulate his feelings for Jeonghan.

Seeing that this would be one of those moments, Jeonghan waited, redirecting his gaze to the city before them. They had a view to the ocean, so vast and mirroring the darkness of the heavy clouds above that announced an upcoming rain. The cold breeze also told him that much, brushing his hair back, blowing the flaps of Joshua’s plaid shirt.

“I uh…” Joshua looked back, seeing you focused on your work. He remembered the night when he realized he was falling in love with you, the pressure in his chest threatening to burst. Then he looked back at Jeonghan, and it felt differently. Like a calm ebb and flow that had been there for as long as he could remember. It was the familiarity he felt looking into those sweet brown eyes, the reassurance.

So he took a deep breath, knowing that his heart was safe, as long as he spoke truly. “Jeonghan, I know that you’re still weary of all this, of the suddenness of it,” he smiled despite himself, his nerves were making his voice quiver. “But I like you, I don’t know for how long I have, but I just wanted to tell you this to offer you some reassurance.”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, focusing on Joshua’s face for a moment before he turned to look at the wild waves lapping against the shore below. He nodded his head, weighing in Joshua’s words in silence.

“I want to see where this goes, not as a form of exploration, I don’t think I need to explore anything…” Joshua breathed in, turning so he could lean his back against the banister. He saw you back inside the hotel suite, and like a work of magic, your eyes found him too.

A meek smile drew on your face, and you scurried back onto your work. Joshua found himself smiling too.

“I’m ready for this,” he muttered softly, turning his head so he could get a glimpse of Jeonghan, who remained leaning on the banister, his elbows safely planted on it. His fingertips were tracing shapeless patterns on the scar in his elbow.

Slowly, Jeonghan stood up straight, his hands grabbing the banister firmly, as though that served as some kind of anchor. He thought what he wanted to say, what his heart felt ever since Joshua kissed him. There was a strange feeling running amok in his mind, one that he had only felt once in his life; the only other time he felt like this was the first time he kissed you. 

Jeonghan sent his gaze over the horizon, knowing that he only felt this way because this mattered to him. Joshua was his best friend, and upon looking into his doe eyes, Jeonghan saw the certainty in them, the quiet reassurance.

“If you say you’re ready, then I am too,” Jeonghan said, hating the fact that it did not take too long for him to yield, just one look at Joshua’s doe eyes and it was game over for him. So he had to do what he knew best, be a tease. He pointed one finger at Joshua’s face. “But if you screw this over, I will kill you.”

Joshua tilted his head back, releasing a sweet giggle that drove your gaze back to the balcony. “It won’t come to that,” Joshua said, his eyes turning into half moons.

“Well, consider yourself warned, so don’t even think about it,” Jeonghan joked, chuckling too. But his gaze fell upon Joshua’s dashing smile, the half-moon eyes, the tips of his ears growing red. The laughter died down, and he could no longer hear his own thoughts, just the ebb and flow of the ocean in the distance.

“Can I kiss you?” Joshua asked ever so softly.

Jeonghan would have died if Joshua had not asked that. He nodded eagerly, despite having nearly thrown a tantrum mere seconds ago. He leaned towards Joshua, meeting halfway through with a small kiss of pressing lips.

Both of them wondered if you were being witness to this, but the thought simply dissipated upon meeting their lips once again. Joshua hummed softly into the kiss, lifting one hand to cradle the back of Jeonghan’s head, pulling him for a deeper kiss.

Truth was, you had not stopped watching since you heard Joshua laughing. You kept a discreet eye on them as they talked, just as you always did, you liked watching them move in perfect synchronicity, the way they seemed to anticipate what the other said, their eyes never quite leaving each other. They spoke and moved with one mind.

So seeing them sharing a kiss ignited a part in you that you did not know existed. As the kiss deepened, they searched each other with their hands, Jeonghan grabbed Joshua’s wrist, his thumb swiping a line on the interior of his wrist, caressing softly. Joshua tangled his fingers in the dark mane of hair, both exchanging sweet hums as they tasted each other’s mouths.

“I always wondered,” Jeonghan whispered, his lip curling a little in a shy smile.

“What?” Joshua asked.

 “How your lips would feel.”

Joshua smiled into the kiss, robbing him of air when Jeonghan rolled his tongue into his mouth expertly, drawing out a moan from him. “Same. I wondered too,” he rasped.

“Is that why you were looking at me funny the other day?” he inquired, but then a chuckle came out of him when he knew the answer. “Oh, you idiot.”

“What?” Joshua giggled. “Would you have preferred me to kiss you then?”

Jeonghan thought about it for a long second. “No, I don’t think so,” he replied. “I panicked when you first kissed me. I don’t think I would’ve reacted the same way if Bunny had been there.”

“True,” Joshua agreed. “I think that’s why I didn’t do it either.”

“Tsk, idiot,” Jeonghan whispered.

Joshua just smiled. “I have to get going. Show is starting in two hours,” he said.

“Get going, then,” Jeonghan replied, motioning to the door. “Bunny and I will be there shortly.”

Joshua sneaked a look back at you, finding that you had been snooping all along.

Jeonghan followed the line of vision to you. “Did she see…?”

“Everything, she saw everything,” Joshua smiled, patting Jeonghan on the shoulder once. “Come on.”

Jeonghan followed to the suite, where you pretended to be focused on your screen, reading your manuscript. “Ah, princess, didn’t you say it was urgent that you submitted your draft?” Jeonghan teased.

“It is urgent,” you nodded, but you looked away quickly, biting your bottom lip.

“Why are you blushing, bunny?” Joshua joined, laughing at the meek expression on your face, trying to hide yourself with your hands.

“You look distracted, baby,” Jeonghan leaned over where you sat, looking at you with a knowing expression.

“Stop it,” you deadpanned, but you looked so flustered that it brought a laugh from both of them. “God, you two are a nightmare,” you mumbled, trying to form a wall with your hands on the sides of your face, focusing back on your laptop screen.

The air was buzzing with excitement in the theater as the audience waited the start of the show, their whispers and anticipation merging into a palpable energy that seemed to vibrate through the walls. You watched from your spot the seats filling in slowly, growing more and more impressed at the quantity of people around you.

Your seats were atop of the side of the stage, so you could clearly get a view of the staff coming and going, testing the electric guitars, getting a stand with drumsticks to place it beside Jihoon’s red drum kit. The stage lights came on briefly, startling the crowd for a second, making everyone think that the show was starting already.

Jeonghan came up to you, hugging your body from behind. “What are you looking at, princess?” he muttered, pressing a loving kiss on your temple.

“Just perusing from afar,” you replied, leaning against his touch. “It’s interesting to see what happens backstage.”

“Mm, remind me one day to take you to my job on opening night,” he hummed, laughing softly. “You’ll change your mind really quick.”

“You must have a little more faith in me,” you showed him a smile. “You forget I like a little chaos.”

Jeonghan paused, but then a smile spread on his lips. “You’re right about that,” he muttered. “You are a little bit chaotic yourself.”

You dropped your mouth in a faux aghast expression. “No, I’m not,” you chuckled.

His sweet brown eyes read the features of your face, and you saw them brighten with some mischievous idea. “Were you one of those haughty girls when you were in school?” he asked, laughing at your expression.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, arching one eyebrow.

“Were you the kind that reminded the teacher to check the assignments?” he chuckled when you moved to push his shoulder.

You gave him an exasperated look. “I mean, I was the only one doing those assignments, and all for the professor to forget about them?!”

“Oof, I would’ve hated you in high school,” he asserted with a low chuckle.

“So you were one of those kids that slacked off in class?” you quipped back.

“Hey, I might have been a slacker, but I was still top of the class,” he asserted, blinking at you proudly.

“Shut up,” you giggled. “I would’ve hated you in high school.”

Jeonghan chuckled, encircling his arms around you to pull you tightly to his chest. “Good thing we didn’t meet in school,” he muttered, right before dipping to meet your lips with his own. “Although I think I would’ve had a crush on you.”

“Now you’re spewing nonsense, Mr. Yoon,” you said with a sweet giggle that sent chills down Jeonghan’s spine. “I was your typical nerd in high school.”

“What, like you’re not a typical nerd now?” he laughed when you just whined at him, pressing his lips against yours one more time. “I would’ve crushed on you so hard, no matter how much you got in my nerves.”

“Now that you mention it, you would’ve got in my nerves constantly,” you said with a smile. “But I do admit that I am a sucker for that.”

His eyes widened in shock. “Ooh, let me act surprised,” he joked. “Thanks for the confirmation, though.”

The crowd went alive with a loud roar as the lights of the stage and the theatre went out. Even with the lights out, you could still make out Jeonghan’s face, the smile on it as he looked at you. It warmed your heart to see that Jeonghan was happy, and in love.

“Show’s starting,” you pressed a kiss on his lips and turned around to face the stage that was covered by a thick layer of smoke.

The overhead lights lit up in warm orange and yellow colors, casting sharp shadows and building excitement across the crowd. Then one by one, the members of Midnight Haze started to show up, Jihoon making it to his drums without making it a show, sitting down on the stool, and grabbing his drumsticks. Then Vernon joined the stage with a gentle gait, grabbing the neon green bass guitar on the stand where his spot on the stage was and crossing the strap on his shoulder.

The crowd went crazy with a load uproar when the stage lights changed position, focusing on the center of the stage as Joshua stepped in, waving at the crowd with a charming smile on his face. He took his white guitar, throwing the strap on his shoulder with ease and grabbed the mic on the stand.

“Goodnight everyone!” Joshua’s voice boomed from the stage and through the whole theatre. The big screens showed him and his bandmates, all excited to perform their last show of the tour. “Ready to have fun?” he smirked, his fingers grabbing a pick from the stand and picking the first chords of his guitar.

Jihoon lifted his drumsticks in the air, bringing them down with a splashing sound to join the ruckus of the noise. The first song they played was one of the singles of his album. It was loud and fun and represented Midnight Haze perfectly. It was a rebellious song, that called for everyone to dance along.

And you could tell that the boys loved playing this song, it had them dancing on their feet or bobbing their heads to it. It was a song that you could tell they wrote with the sole intention of making the crowd loosen up and gear up for the show. And as Joshua sang the lyrics, he smiled against the mic, the camera capturing his perfectly beautiful face.

Woke up late, got my shoes on tight, Feeling good, and I'm ready for the night, Turn it up, turn it up, feel the fire, Living life on the edge, we’ll take it higher, All night long, we’re gonna shout it out, Come on, baby, let’s get loud!

The stage lit up in white lights, dancing on the floor and to the beat of the music, which resounded inside you, making you dance to it. Jeonghan was dancing along to it as well, rocking his head side to side, his long dark hair shaking as he did so.

The performance took off, showing the Midnight Haze boys’ skills as they played song after song, barely taking any rest. They only paused for water and for wiping off the sweat off their faces. Joshua looked tired after one and a half hours into the show, but the energy that he exhibited created an allure to him. Every time he was shown on the big screens, the crowd went crazy, and he smiled shyly at the uproar of the masses.

“How are you guys doing?” he spoke into the mic with big breaths, his hands set on his hips as the guitar hung on his shoulder. The crowd screamed and applauded, creating a loud buzzing noise that you imagined could be heard from miles away.

Joshua smiled only, looking at the sea of people with glimmering eyes. “This next song is called Euphoria. I hope you enjoy,” he said, and turned around to give his bandmates a signal by bowing his head.

Jihoon nodded, clashing his drumsticks once, twice, and then started playing a steady beat, to which Vernon followed with the bass and then Joshua joined in with a melodic riff of his guitar. Joshua danced with a soft sway as he came closer to his spot, and once the beat of the music prepared for the first verse, he lifted his lips to the mic.

She’s got a smile that could tear me apart, Like a haunting melody played on my heart, I reach for her, but she slips through my hands, A faded dream that leaves me weak. But until then, I’ll live with the fire, Chasing her shadow, longing for the desire She leaves me hanging on every word, Every promise she’s ever made has blurred.

It was a steadier song, unlike the rest. A ballad that still invited you to dance, but mostly to listen to Joshua’s soft voice swimming over the crowd. Jeonghan’s arms returned to wrap around your body, hugging you from behind so he could rest his head on your shoulder. You welcomed his embrace, snuggling up to it without removing your eyes from the stage.

“I wonder who this song is about,” Jeonghan said in your ear, and you could feel his lips curving in a smile.

Your heart gave a jolt against your chest, but you said nothing, instead, you just sang along the lyrics, knowing that in fact, Joshua wrote this song with you in mind; it told of the time when you and Joshua had not solidified a relationship yet, and you were giving him mixed signals, driving him and yourself crazy.

She’s the danger I can’t leave behind, I chase her shadow, but I can’t make her mine, Her smile’s a puzzle, a riddle untold, Her lips like fire, but her heart stays cold, Her love’s a fire, but it burns so slow, Like a ghost in the dark, she’s all I know, I’m caught in the spell, don’t wanna break the ties, I’m lost in the shadow of her eyes.

As you were watching him sing, you saw the raw emotion on his face, he frowned as he sing, closing his eyes, his chest swelling with each intake of breath. Then it hit you. Joshua could feel every emotion so intensely in his heart, that it was difficult for him to let it show, only being able to scream what he felt through music.

You knew that Joshua would never walk away from this, because as much as he loved being with you in the quiet, peaceful home you built with him, he also belonged on stage. You wondered then, what you would have do to protect that the same way he wanted to protect your privacy from the media and the world. You wondered, how would you do it now that Jeonghan was also your partner and Joshua’s too.

Jeonghan swayed his body, dragging you along with the gentle dance as he wrapped you in his arms. You turned your head at the same time he did the same, your eyes meeting with his for a long moment. Everything you had to go through to get to this moment crashed against your heart, robbing you of air. Jeonghan had to go through different challenged to get here, to be your partner. It seemed understandable that he would present himself a bit reluctant to agreed to Joshua’s proposition, and yours.

Jeonghan had put what mattered most to him to be with you, and now that Joshua was finally coming to terms with the turmoil in his heart, Jeonghan had to face that too, and although you did not know what was going on in his mind, you understood his reluctance. And would give him the time he needed to come to his resolve.

He smiled at you when your gaze swam all over the features of his face, leaning to give you a long, loving kiss.

Despite the exhaustion from the flight, the concert, interviews and such, Joshua looked at ease. Upon returning to the hotel room, he emptied his pockets on the small desk pushed to the wall of the room, and sat down on one of the chairs with a pleased sigh.

Jeonghan snorted, taking off his plaid shirt to discard it on the other chair, and sitting down on it. There was no need to say that Joshua was feeling more relaxed with himself now that he had taken one thing out of the way when he confessed his feelings to Jeonghan. Even the air felt different between you and them.

“I’m hungry. Shall we order room service?” Jeonghan asked as he removed his boots.

You were also taking off your jacket, neatly moving it on a hook to put it inside the small closet space. The question drew your curiosity, eyeing your two boyfriends sitting on each chair. Jeonghan had his knees spread, leaning his back in a relaxed position. Joshua had just taken his black converse off, sending a look at Jeonghan.

“Uh, right now?” Joshua asked, glancing your way and then back to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “Are you not hungry?” he asked, but the brightened look in his eyes told you he was trying not to smile.

“Yeah, but I was thinking of taking a shower,” Joshua replied, his tone cautious, much as if he were not disclosing part of his small plan.

“You can shower while we wait for food,” Jeonghan shrugged, his mouth kept in a pout, and that was how you knew for sure, Jeonghan was teasing Joshua.

“We can shower,” you cut in, knowing what Joshua had been trying to get at. “And later when we’re done, we can order food,” you said, throwing a look at Jeonghan. “Stop teasing him.”

“Who, me?” Jeonghan blinked, raising a finger to point at himself.

“Yeah, you. Stop it,” you giggled at him, but walked to Joshua, nonetheless, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go.”

“I’m not invited?” Jeonghan rose to his feet as well, following you and Joshua to the bathroom door.

“You’re invited to watch if you promise to behave,” you conditioned impishly.

“I can’t make promises like that,” Jeonghan said, raising his palms at you. “But I’ll try.”

“Do try,” Joshua punctuated, smiling softly at the childish exchange.

“Ah, I’m just playing with you, Shuji,” Jeonghan said.  

“We know,” you and Joshua replied in unison.

You started the shower, wasting no time and moving to push Joshua’s flannel shirt off his shoulders. You were glad for a moment that Jeonghan had taken your warning seriously, because he stood by the doorway to the bathroom, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed as he watched you get rid of Joshua’s clothes piece by piece.

“You were amazing tonight. I liked the show a lot,” you mumbled, sneaking a look up to his face as he watched you undo his belt, pulling it from the belt loops and letting it fall on the floor.

“Thank you,” he replied in kind but lifting a hand to pinch your chin gently. “Did you dance a lot?”

You nodded, undoing the button of his washed denim pants. “With Hannie,” you replied to his question. “We had fun.”

“I’m glad, baby,” he said with a sweet tone, starting to take your clothes off as well.

Once you were both standing under the stream of warm water, Joshua pulled you in for a hug. As soon as your bodies came into contact with each other, your pulse quickened too. The shower was spacious, its walls were made of crystal, so Jeonghan got a view of Joshua’s hands running all over your naked body, caressing the line of your back with his fingers.

Jeonghan could not remove his eyes from the image before him, he had never felt so attracted to two people at once. It was the best he could ever ask for, being so in love with you and at the same time, being able to finally express what he felt for Joshua aloud.

And Joshua was, for lack of a better word alluring to Jeonghan. Everything about him was attractive, his eyes, his lips, the way the muscles of his abdomen and legs shifted with every move. Jeonghan had been thinking about it ever since he saw Joshua performing on stage earlier.

You closed your eyes, lacing your fingers behind his nape to pull him into a kiss. “You looked so hot on stage,” you blurted on Joshua’s lips, ignoring the sound of your own voice, breathy and sweet.

“Really?” he smiled into the kiss, pressing his lips on yours softly.

“Yeah,” you sighed, as his hands travelled farther down your back, parking on your ass and giving it a squeeze. You giggled nervously, sending a quick look at Jeonghan, who remained watching everything from afar obediently.

Joshua followed your eyes, his beautifully chapped lips curling in a shy smile when he found Jeonghan staring from the doorway. “Are you eager for tonight, princess?” Joshua asked, pressing his hands against your ass to bring your body against his tightly.

“Eh?” you turned, looking at him in confusion. It had been ages since Joshua called you that. And you mostly just expected Jeonghan to use that name on you.

Joshua smiled with his eyes knowingly, bringing a hand to cup your cheek so he could hold you in place as he gave you a gentle kiss. “Jeonghan and I will fuck tonight,” he whispered against your lips, smiling when you sighed a moan. “Are you okay with that, baby?”

“Of course I am,” you replied, your tone sugary and breathy at the same time, showing how aroused you were already.

“That’s my girl,” he said, pressing another kiss on your lips.

A shudder invaded you, making your blood dance beneath your skin upon the thought of watching your boyfriends fuck. “Let’s wash you up,” you breathed, making him laugh at your eagerness.

“Okay,” Joshua replied, letting your hands wash every inch of his skin as thoroughly as possible, covering his beautifully tanned skin with soap bubbles.

Once you finished washing up, you covered your body with a bathrobe as Joshua dried his brown hair as best as he could with a towel. Jeonghan was waiting on the bed, you imagined he sat down at first, but as time went on he leaned back, propping his body with his elbows. But he stood up when he saw you coming back to the bedroom, and you noticed he was nervous.

You sat on the edge of the mattress, smoothing your hands over the creamy white duvet. “Can I watch?” you asked shyly, looking at both of your boyfriends standing before the bed.

Jeonghan tilted his head slightly to one side. “What do you want us to do, princess?”

This was a new part of the relationship that you were nervous about, nearly afraid to explore. But also, so eager. Seeing Jeonghan’s reaction back in the shower had given you the idea of simply watching your two boyfriends exploring each other, loving each other freely.

So you just shrugged. “Whatever you both are comfortable with doing,” you replied, mostly looking at Joshua.

You were about to be reminded that neither of your boyfriends lacked daring. Sure, they often needed a little push, but you just had given them what they needed. Joshua did not lose time, grabbing Jeonghan by the back of his neck and giving a firm tug. Jeonghan met Joshua halfway in a brief kiss. The first kiss looked featherlight, as if they were being careful, meeting each other again.

But you could see how quickly that cautiousness dissipated once they got a taste of each other’s mouths. Diving for another kiss, one of them grunted and it was hard for you to know who it was who made the breathy sound. They were at each other’s lips, a light dance of exploration, tasting and revelling themselves at the touch.

Jeonghan lifted his hands, blindly searching Joshua’s chest, caressing with his fingers until he stopped his touch at the hips, pulling forward. Their bodies touched, and Joshua responded with a muffled moan, sinking his fingers in Jeonghan’s dark hair, and forcing his lips into a harder kiss, which Jeonghan reciprocated at once.

You were completely mesmerized. The sight was too alluring, too irresistible to even blink. You were not only caught up in the need to feel them on your lips, to feel their touch, but you knew what each of their kisses felt like. You knew how it felt to be touched by Jeonghan, you knew how it felt to be kissed by Joshua.

You leaned back on your elbows, looking at your boyfriends kissing each other, exploring their bodies with satisfied moans. Joshua started ripping every piece of clothing on Jeonghan’s body with no shame, starting by stripping him off the white t-shirt, and then the baggy blue jeans.

Once they got rid of everything putting a barrier between their skins, Jeonghan moved a hand under Joshua’s jaw, holding it with ginger fingers as he kissed the apple of Joshua’s cheek, who opened his eyes slowly, his plump lips parting slightly in desire as his gaze found you. “Are you enjoying this, baby?” 

You nodded silently, biting your lower lip to mask your smile. Your gaze dropped to their bodies, pressed together, Jeonghan’s hands cradling Joshua’s face moved down on to grab his ass, his lips making a trail of kisses on Joshua’s neck. “Hannie don’t bite me,” Joshua giggled airily.

Jeonghan detached his mouth from Joshua’s skin, both moving simultaneously to find each other’s lips with a brief kiss, their wet lips creating a soft smacking sound that had your blood sizzling beneath your skin. Joshua leaned his forehead against Jeonghan’s, licking his own lips right before his hands travelled down Jeonghan’s back, circling to grip him by the hips and tug him closer.

You shuddered at the sight of them moving at the same time, neither asking for permission nor stopping to test each other. Their hands explored each other, Joshua leaned to trap Jeonghan’s lips in a long, wet kiss as his hand circled Jeonghan’s dick by his pretty length, pumping him a few times, just as Jeonghan grabbed Joshua’s veiny shaft with equally languid strokes.

At that, you could no longer resist yourself, sneaking a hand between your legs, parting the flaps of your bathrobe. The tip of your finger glided between your slick folds, making you moan at the much-desired contact as you watched your boyfriends moan in each other’s mouths, stroking each other languidly. 

They stopped kissing, sharing one long look as their hands moved on each other’s dick at the same pace. Jeonghan sent you one glance and smiled, making Joshua do the same, his gaze finding you on the bed, legs parted, stroking your clit, circling it with your fingertip, rubbing your arousal all over your cunt.

“I think Baby likes this,” Jeonghan said, turning his face to Joshua’s.

“Fuck,” Joshua breathed, swallowing back a moan.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan hummed, diving for another open kiss on Joshua’s neck that ended up with a light grazing of his teeth against his skin.

“Fuck, you–,” Joshua gritted in pleasure as his body tensed visibly.

Jeonghan laughed, stumbling back when Joshua used his hands to push him to the bed, he sat before he let his body lean back, his happy eyes finding you. “What do you say, princess, should we punish Josh for being so damn emotionally constipated, or do you want him to take the lead tonight?”

Joshua stopped, just as he was making a move to climb on top of Jeonghan’s body on the bed, his knee hiked on the edge of the mattress. “What?” he blurted. “What did I do now?”

“I’m asking her, not you,” Jeonghan bit back.

You liked your lips, burning in utter desire. “I think we should use him,” you nodded, smiling at the glint in Jeonghan’s eyes.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan pretended to ponder for a second, raising a hand to pinch your chin. “How do you want to use him, princess? Do you want to fuck yourself on his cock?”

A smile played on your lips. “Can I keep watching, Hannie?” you asked, batting your eyelashes.

Jeonghan mirrored the smile, but his was slow and triumphant. “Of course, baby,” he cooed, running the pad of his thumb on your bottom lip, which you nibbled at softly. “Get him on the bed.”

You gathered yourself on the bed, crawling on your hands and knees to the foot, where you sat back on your heels. You had to raise your gaze to find Joshua’s, darkened by wanton need, his pouty lips parted slightly.

“Are you there, Josh?” you asked with a honeyed tone.

The pout turned into a smile slowly. “You’re turning on me,” he accused, but there was nothing in his tone to indicate that he was displeased with the idea of Jeonghan being in control for the night.

“I’ll make up for it, babe,” you replied, keeping the sweet tone on him. “I promise.”

Joshua smirked, bringing a hand to cradle your cheek. “I expect nothing less,” he mumbled, locking his lips with yours in a featherlight kiss that had you emitting a low moan at once. The thought of Joshua’s lips meeting yours after making out with Jeonghan gave you a different lure.

You reached for his hand, taking it on your own, his long fingers warm and calloused from playing the guitar for hours. “Come here, big boy,” you whispered, pulling him softly to the bed, where he was already pressing a knee on, so he just followed you, obediently lying down between Jeonghan and you.

“Take your robes off, princess.”  

Sending a quick glance at Jeonghan, you nodded at him. “Okay,” you mumbled.

You did as he said, looking at Joshua’s long and toned body lying on the bed, his skin adorned with droplets of water here and there, his hand resting below his sternum. He did not shy away from your staring, smiling softly at you when your gaze lowered to his hard cock, stirring proudly on his lower abdomen, and leaking in precum.

Jeonghan was lying on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, equally as alluring. His damp hair dripped on the covers as he leaned his head to one side, his gaze gliding over Joshua’s body, unable to focus on one part of him. They looked at each other for a second that stretched out, only breaking when Jeonghan inched closer to Joshua.

You watched as they met in a slow, wet kiss, neither of them paused before it, like joined by a magnetic force. Jeonghan’s lips trapped Joshua’s lower, outlining it with his tongue. The response your body got from watching them kiss was like no other, you could not believe you could feel so intensely from just looking.

Joshua raised a hand to cup Jeonghan’s nape, forcing a hungry kiss. You saw a glimpse of Joshua’s tongue, licking Jeonghan’s bottom lip before their tongues met briefly, continuing to kiss each other with abandon and a hunger that only incited your own.

Jeonghan moved his body on top of Joshua’s neither breaking the hard kiss, their hands roving on each other’s skin freely, as though they were aching to touch each other like this for years. Joshua’s hand circled Jeonghan’s waist gripping him with gentle fingers as Jeonghan lowered his body on top of Joshua’s, meeting each other wholly, skin on skin.

One hand had remained on Jeonghan’s nape, and you saw Joshua’s fingers curl around the dark mane of hair, pulling softly, but demanding more. “Behave,” Jeonghan stilled, his lips lingering on Joshua’s, moving sensually with each word: “Or I’ll use your belt to restrain your hands.”

Joshua smirked briefly before pressing a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “That sounds fun,” he replied with his honeyed tone. “But I’ll behave. Just for tonight.”

“Brat,” Jeonghan spat.

“Are you surprised?” Joshua bit back, arching his pierced eyebrow.

“Don’t make me consider using the belt,” Jeonghan grunted, but his commanding tone fainted as he dipped his head on Joshua’s neck, pressing quick kisses on the curve of his shoulder.

“What if I want it?” Joshua giggled, having his fun by challenging Jeonghan.

“I don’t want to do that the first time I fuck you,” he said slowly. “Besides, I want Princess to have her fun too,” he muttered against Joshua’s neck.

“Fuck,” Joshua tensed, squeezing his eyes tightly. “But you never bite Bunny like this,” he complained, his tone waning too.

“Because she bruises like a peach,” Jeonghan giggled, sending you a look. “Do you still have that bruise, baby?”

You bit your lip, nodding. “Yes, Hannie,” you raised one knee toward the ceiling, revealing a glimpse of your inner thigh, very close to your pussy. There was a bruise, small but still visible and greenish.

“So that’s what it was,” Joshua smirked, his eyelids fluttering when his throat was grazed by Jeonghan’s teeth, making him moan.

“Do you like that, Josh?” you asked as Jeonghan made a trail of lovebites on Joshua’s neck and collarbones. You enjoyed Joshua’s eyes glazing over, his mouth parted as he nodded with his head dumbly.

“Yeah. Feels good,” he muttered faintly as Jeonghan placed an open-mouthed kiss on one of Joshua’s pecs. In fact, Joshua was over the moon. His heart going a mile per hour as he looked at your face flushed in expectation, while Jeonghan littered his chest with kisses.

You saw Jeonghan placing a wet kiss on Joshua’s pec, stopping to lick a circle around Joshua’s nipple right before grazing at it with his teeth. You had to press your thighs together upon feeling a slight jolt of nervousness that shot straight to your core.

Joshua groaned quietly in pleasure, a slight frown appearing on his face. “Are you enjoying this, baby?” he asked, opening his eyes.

“Yeah,” you breathed, and Joshua smiled at you briefly, right before Jeonghan sank down, placing a wet kiss on his hipbone.

“Don’t you want to touch yourself?” he mumbled, his tone waning as his hand found Jeonghan’s head, threading his fingers in his hair.

“Stroke your clit, princess,” Jeonghan muttered, raising his gaze to find your blushing face. And you realized that they had noticed your body tensing.

Before you did as he told you, you lied back on the covers beside Joshua, keeping your gaze trained in his hands, gripping the base of Joshua’s cock, jerking him off a few times again, his lip curling upon hearing the raunchy and short moans that spilled from Joshua’s parted lips.

You planted your feet on the mattress, parting your legs slightly to sneak a hand in, rubbing the pads of your pointer and middle finger on your swollen bud. A moan escaped you at once upon finding your cunt swollen and sopping wet, but all focus was on Jeonghan’s hand, jerking Joshua’s cock with a playful look on his face.

Then Jeonghan leaned over to wrap his mouth around Joshua’s swollen cockhead, dragging a deep moan from him. You moaned with Joshua, the sight alone might have sent you into your climax, watching Jeonghan slid his pretty mouth up and sinking down Joshua’s big cock was out of the ordinary alluring for you.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted out, his eyes focused on Jeonghan alone, watching his cock disappearing in Jeonghan’s mouth.

Drool gathered on the corners of Jeonghan’s lips as he took Joshua’s cock farther, the tip hitting the back of his throat, feeling every vein of his shaft as he pulled his mouth up, swirling his tongue around the bulbous head.

Jeonghan’s eyes flitted to you, as you fingered yourself to the pace of the bobbing of his head, which he pulled up, his lips wrapping around Joshua’s cockhead made a wet sound as he detached his mouth from it. “Sit on his face, baby,” Jeonghan muttered softly at you, motioning with the tip of his nose at Joshua’s face.

You bit your lip, and nodded, clumsily gathering your limbs on the bed to crawl to the head of the bed until you stopped right before the pillows and Joshua’s shoulders. “I’ve never sat on your face,” you realized with a nervous giggle.

“Really?” Jeonghan clicked his tongue, repeatedly. “You’ve never let our baby sit on your face? Bad boy.”  

Joshua showed you a smirk, blinking slowly at you. He extended one arm at you. “Come here, baby,” he said, and you stood on your knees, placing each one on the pillows at each side of Joshua’s head. “Sit,” he commanded, grabbing you by your hips with his large hands and bringing you down, forcing you to sit your cunt on his face.

“God,” you muttered nervously as his mouth started to work on your pussy lips, licking a fat stripe on your folds to lave at your arousal. “Oh god,” you parroted. Now you were face to face with Jeonghan, getting another angle of him pleasuring Joshua’s cock.

Joshua added a little bit of pressure with his hands on your ass, forcing you to move your hips slightly as he made out with your pussy, giving it broad strokes with his tongue. You moaned, trying not to close your eyes as Jeonghan bobbed his head up and down, sinking his pretty mouth on Joshua’s cock, you noticed that his own cock was hard, and leaking with precum.

Jeonghan lifted his eyes to you as he continued sucking Joshua’s cock, who repeated the motion of his hands on your hips, forcing you to move. Jeonghan pulled his mouth free smiling as he said, “He’s telling you to move, princess.”

“Eh?” you asked dumbly, lifting your hips from Joshua’s face, looking down at him. “Am I hurting you, Josh?”

Joshua giggled, the sound sweet and slightly muffled. “Not at all, baby,” he said. “Just grind on me a little, it’ll feel good.”

“How?” you frowned.

“Just grind your pussy on his tongue, baby,” Jeonghan added right before he took Joshua’s cock in his mouth, smirking as Joshua moaned loudly.

“Fuck, baby, do it now,” Joshua growled, using his hands once again to bring your ass down to his face.

“Oh god, okay,” you blurted, placing your hands on the mattress for support and started swaying your hips gently back and forth, rubbing your pussy on Joshua’s tongue. “Oh god,” you moaned once you felt the pleasure building up fast.

It grew quiet for a second, the silence interrupted only by your moans and Joshua’s as you started grinding your pussy on his mouth at a faster pace, and Jeonghan bobbed his head, matching your pace too.

Joshua moaned loudly against your pussy, the sound lewd and sweet and so telling that he was close. But the warning did little for Jeonghan, who was pulling his mouth from Joshua’s cockhead as ropes of cum spurted from the reddened tip, disappearing once Jeonghan ran his tongue all over the mess, picking up the cum from Joshua’s cockhead and shaft, cleaning him off with soft hums of pleasure.

Seeing Joshua come on Jeonghan’s mouth inched you closer to your own orgasm, and Jeonghan read it on your face, heard it in your moans. He leaned over Joshua’s body, trapping your chin with his hand to plant an open kiss on your mouth, making you taste Joshua’s cum too.

The motions of your hips became fast and short, rubbing your pussy on Joshua as you reached your climax. You moaned loudly, shaking on his mouth as your orgasm shot up your body, sizzling beneath your skin from your cunt to your face.

“That’s it, baby,” Jeonghan cooed softly, enjoying the face you made when you came. Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you closed your eyes, savoring every second of your high as you finished grinding your pussy on Joshua’s tongue.

The covers were soft on your skin once you slumped and rolled over on the large bed. You sighed a moan, as Jeonghan caressed Joshua’s thighs. He was breathing hard as well, his pretty doe eyes closed but he smiled and then said, “That was amazing,” he rasped.

You turned your head on the pillows to look at him. He was equally fucked out as you were, panting hard, his eyes dreamy as they found yours. “Yeah,” you sighed. “Are you ready for more, babe?” you asked.

Joshua nodded, and for one moment, Jeonghan was thrown back to the day he met Joshua, realizing he had hosted an attraction ever since, letting it grow but ever so slowly. He leaned over, pressing his bare chest against Joshua’s to plant a kiss on his lips.

“What do you want?” Jeonghan asked slowly, and you saw the brief pause, the tip of his nose bumping with Joshua’s before he met his lips with his own.

“Fuck me,” Joshua breathed, bringing his hands to cup Jeonghan’s head, his fingers tangling in the mane of dark hair. “Fuck me like you’ve always dreamed of,” he said, his words rising in a tone of desperation, as though he had been holding back the thought of it for days, weeks.

“Umn, what makes you think I’d ever dreamed of fucking you?” Jeonghan teased, propping one kiss on Joshua’s lips with a playful manner, just like he always did with you.

“Please,” Joshua breathed, closing his eyes slowly and swallowing hard. “I want this—I want you,” he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.  

“How do you want me?” Jeonghan asked, and you quickly understood what game he was playing. Teasing Joshua with swift, fleeting kisses on his skin, asking questions that would lead him to beg for Jeonghan to fuck him.

Joshua parted his mouth, craning his neck for Jeonghan to leave a love bite on his throat. “I want you inside me,” he drawled out without shame, closing his eyes to enjoy the torturous kisses that Jeonghan left on his skin.

“Mmn,” Jeonghan pursed his lips in a mocking expression. “You could take my cock in your mouth, is that what you want?”

Joshua rolled his eyes in a near exasperated look. “You know what I mean, Jeonghan.”

“Do I?” he tilted his head ever so slightly.

You snorted.

“What?” Jeonghan asked, turning to see you.

“Don’t act like you don’t want this, Hannie,” you smirked.

Jeonghan shrugged lightly. “Got me,” he said with a matching smirk. “I just wanted to hear him beg a little.”

“Can’t you leave that for another night?” you raised your brows.

“Please,” Joshua sighed, and then laughed.

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan laughed as well, crushing his mouth on Joshua’s. “Only because Bunny’s right and I do want this just as bad as you do.”

“Then get on with it,” Joshua muttered against Jeonghan’s lips.

“God you two are the same. So fucking needy,” Jeonghan complained, chuckling lightly. “Put one of your knees up.”

Jeonghan sat back on his haunches, reaching to grab the bottle of lube he had placed on the nightstand. He rubbed the slick liquid on his fingers on one hand as he supported himself with the other. Then, he leaned to kiss Joshua, and they kissed deeply, both moaning into the kiss as Jeonghan took his lubed fingers and stopped before Joshua’s balls.

Jeonghan paused, detaching his lips from Joshua’s to look at him in the eyes, then his fingers inched further down, the pointer finger caressing Joshua’s entrance, circling it with the tip of his lubed finger. Jeonghan bit his bottom lip, looking at Joshua’s facial features dissolve and change into pleasure.

A shudder went through your body. You knew how it felt like, to have Jeonghan’s fingers in you, stretching you out for his cock slowly, testing what made you go off, what made you beg for his cock. You licked your lips in anticipation, fixating your gaze on Joshua’s face.

“Tickles,” Joshua laughed lightly, shaking with some nervousness and anticipation.

“Is it cold?” Jeonghan asked, like he was having a normal conversation with his best friend. But in fact, he was nervous too.

“A bit, yeah,” Joshua replied. “But it’s okay.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan nodded, pressing the tip of his finger on Joshua’s entrance, and sinking an inch further.

Joshua’s mouth parted, letting out a silent groan. “Oh,” he frowned slightly.

“Good?” Jeonghan stilled.

Joshua nodded. “Keep going.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan pushed in another finger on Joshua’s entrance, lifting his head to look at you. “Touch yourself, baby.”

Jeonghan kept going, adding a third finger, cautious of his touch so he kept it gentle, focused on Joshua’s face to see any signs of discomfort.

But Joshua could have melted into a puddle of pleasure and anticipation for more, he wanted more, and more, more. “Please,” he whispered. “More,” he said, understanding the situations where you had been in his place, revelling at the fact that he was living one of the fantasies that he had lived through you.

You cradled Joshua’s cheek with one hand, commanding his doe eyes to yours before you gave him a sweet kiss. “You’re doing good, Josh,” you muttered with a light tone.

“Princess,” Jeonghan commanded your eyes to him, motioning to the condoms on the nightstand. And you understood perfectly without him saying it. So you sat on your knees, reaching to grab the condom and ripped the package with your fingers, and carefully grabbed the condom, rolling it on Jeonghan’s hard cock to his hilt.

“Thank you, baby,” he whispered, receiving your soft kiss on his lips. Then he pushed a fourth finger in, having Joshua’s thighs tensing in both pain and pleasure, making Jeonghan stroke his own cock with his hand, lubing himself up.

Jeonghan pressed one hand on the mattress for support, as the other guided his cock to Joshua’s entrance. You looked at Joshua tensing up slightly, but diffusing his own nervousness as he took in one deep breath. They shared one look right before Jeonghan pressed the tip of his cock against Joshua’s entrance, and started sinking in, inch by inch, slowly.

Their mouths parted at the same time, but ever so slightly. “Fuck,” Joshua breathed, closing his eyes.

Jeonghan cursed under his breath too, retreating his hips one inch, then sinking back inside Joshua. “Good?” he breathed, looking at Joshua expectantly.

“Great,” Joshua replied in kind, lifting his other knee to his chest, opening himself more for Jeonghan’s pretty cock.

Jeonghan started rutting his hips against Joshua’s ass, pushing his cock further with each stroke. You knew how it felt, to have him inside you, to be stuffed full of his cock. You could no longer take the pleasure brimming inside you, and tarted stroking your clit with your fingers, dipping them inside you to rub your slick all over your clit, and started swirling your fingers around it, unable to drag your gaze away.

“G-god,” Jeonghan closed his eyes, pushing his hips at a gentle pace, the pressure building inside him showed on his face, on the vein popping on his forehead and neck. It felt so good, so tight, he was becoming addicted to it quickly, starting to thrust with more abandon.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted again, his hands grabbing onto the bundles of bedcovers, trying to anchor himself to something before he lost all self-control. “J-jeonghan…” he moaned, his voice breaking in uncontrolled need for more, and more.

You saw as Jeonghan’s muscles contracted and went lax with each stroke of his hips, his face contorted in pure, sweet pleasure, matching Joshua’s expression too, who tried to keep himself angled for Jeonghan’s cock. The dancing of their bodies was too seducing, too enticing. Pressure burst inside you, blooming in every part of your body, its tingling lingering on your skin.

You moaned lewdly, unable to look away as Jeonghan fucked Joshua slowly, his eyes flitted to your face and smiled. “Princess,” he whispered, as you trembled in the gentle waves of the orgasm that consumed you.

“Mmn?” you replied, breathing heavily.

“T-touch him,” he commanded with an urgency that you understood well, pushing his hips against Joshua desperately.

You rolled on the bed on your side, lifting your body with one elbow to take Joshua’s cock with your hand, rubbing the slick on your fingers all over his shaft. Joshua moaned, blinking repeatedly as his eyes focused on your face.

“You close?” you muttered lightly, and Joshua nodded with sharp motions. You rolled your hand on his cock faster, your eyes wandering to where Jeonghan met his hips with Joshua’s ass, thrusting his cock faster.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan moaned loudly, louder than you had ever heard him before, he closed his eyes in pure pleasure and breathed raggedly. “I’m there.”

Both looked at each other before they started making the rawest, sweetest moans as they came undone at the same time, ropes of cum spilling onto the back of your hand as Jeonghan pushed thrusted sloppily against Joshua, spilling himself into the condom with raunchy moans that made you want to moan with them too.

Jeonghan lifted a hand, caressing Joshua’s tummy as he gave a few sloppy thrusts, finishing inside him as he breathed tiredly, just as Joshua was, biting his bottom lip without tearing his eyes off Jeonghan. They looked at each other for a long moment, and you wanted once again to share their mind, to listen in on their channel they so jealously kept to themselves.

You leaned against Joshua’s face, pushing the tip of your nose on his cheek before pressing a kiss on the shell of his ear. “You did so good, babe,” you whispered.

Jeonghan climbed down the bed and disappeared behind the bathroom door, leaving you with a very exhausted Joshua, still lying on the bed. He was breathing hard, his face so relaxed that for a second you believed him to be asleep.

You got up, going around the bed to reach for the pack of wet tissues on the nightstand, and started cleaning off the cum on the back of your hand, and the few beads on Joshua’s lower tummy. You discarded the tissues and went back to lie down beside him on the bed. “How are you, babe?” you asked softly, running a palm over his chest, feeling the vibrations of his heartbeat.

“Amazing,” he sighed, grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles. “You?” he raised his eyebrows.

“I’m good,” you muttered with a sheepish smile.

“You didn’t get to come again,” he realized, shifting his hand to grab you by the waist, turning slightly on the bed. “Come here,” he whispered.

“Joshua, I’m fine,” you said with a short giggle. “You should rest, you came pretty hard.”

“I said come here,” he said playfully, tightening the grip on your waist, pulling you to his body.

“Okay,” you conceded, letting him pull your body closer to his on the bed. You were still lying side to side, so it was easy for him to sneak a hand between your legs to run the pads of his pointer and middle finger on your folds.

“You’re so wet,” he muttered, his eyes glinting with desire again. “Just from watching us, baby,” he said in a tone that resembled praise. “Why couldn’t you come again?”

“I grew sensitive,” you mumbled, shuddering when his fingers glided on your folds a couple of times again, dipping slightly in your entrance. “It was really fun watching you.”

“Yeah, baby?” he cooed, smirking at you when you responded with a quiet nod. “Want me to touch you?”

“Yes, please,” you sighed, closing your eyes blissfully as his middle and ring fingers slipped inside your pussy. “God, Josh…”

“That’s right, baby,” he praised when you automatically started rocking your hips with short motions, fucking yourself on his hand. “Use me,” Joshua whispered.

Your breath hitched embarrassingly loud when a new set of hands encircled your waist, making you turn over your shoulder. “Hannie,” you sighed lewdly, a warmth creeping beneath your cheeks. 

Jeonghan occupied the empty side of the bed, lying behind you, his chest pressed against your back. His hands gripped you by the hips, helping you to move them on Joshua’s hand. “Mmn, princess you’re making a mess on Joshua’s fingers.”

The squelching noises became louder when Jeonghan started helping you rock your hips, littering the back of your shoulder with kisses.

Joshua curled his fingers inside you, nibbling your lower lip with his teeth. “Make a mess, baby,” Joshua said, his lips lingering on yours, pressing soft kisses on them. “Did you like watching Hannie fuck me?”

“Uh-huh,” you moaned, shuddering at the crude language your boyfriend used.

But he enjoyed it more, “I get now why you like his cock so much,” Joshua taunted, pulling back so he could look at your face. “You always behave like a slut when he fucks you.”

Your mouth fell open, giving way to a strangled moan. You nodded dumbly, and that only made Joshua’s grin grow on his face.

“That’s what you are, a good slut for us, right?” Jeonghan whispered in your ear, leaving small kisses on the shell. “Are you gonna come on Joshua’s fingers?”

You rocked your hips faster, enjoying that Joshua had started to move his hand too, pressing his fingers on your walls harder to make you shudder in pleasure. The tight feeling pooling in your lower belly became even more intense as your orgasm inched closer and closer.

Jeonghan’s hand moved from your hips, circling over to find your chest, where he started playing with your tits. His fingers fiddled with one of your nipples, pinching it gently and massaging your breast with his palm.

“Answer him, baby,” Joshua rasped, leaving a small kiss on your bottom lip. 

“Yeah, Hannie,” you swallowed a moan. “Oh fuck. Yes, yes, yes…” over and over again. The tension finally snapped, shaking you hard on the bed. Your jaw went slack, letting out a series of lewd moans that only allured both of your boyfriends. They watched you come undone, thrashing, and crying out in between them.

“That’s it, baby,” Jeonghan praised, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Good girl,” Joshua said too, leaving light kisses on your face.

You panted, holding onto Joshua’s shoulder for support as you came down from your high. “God,” you sighed, still with your eyes closed, feeling their bodies so close to you, relishing their warmth.

Joshua pulled his fingers out of your used hole carefully, and lifted his hand to your view and drew it closer to Jeonghan’s face, who opened his mouth, taking Joshua’s fingers in, sucking off your arousal with a pleased moan. Joshua’s lips curved into a smile, reminding you of the time he did the same with Jeonghan’s fingers.

You sighed, humming softly as you eased into the aftershocks of your nth orgasm. Jeonghan stroke your arm with the tips of his fingers, just as Joshua nudged the tip of your nose with his before pressing a gentle kiss on your lips. 

“I love you both so much,” you drawled.

“And we love you, princess,” Joshua replied with a small chuckle.

“So much,” Jeonghan emphasized, propping another kiss on your shoulder.

“Can we order room service now?” you sighed, nuzzling on their warmth, not even bothering to open your eyes.

“Why don’t you order for us, baby? I need to take care of Shua,” Jeonghan prompted, patting your ass lovingly.

“Sure,” you cooed, sitting up on the bed with a surge of energy you got from thinking about food. “What should I order?”

“Surprise us,” Joshua pressed his lips into a smile, watching you walk over to the desk where the telephone was, dialling the room service.

Jeonghan turned his gaze to Joshua. “You’re alright?” he asked softly, reaching out to tug Joshua’s ear by its shell, softly toying with his set of piercings.

Joshua raised his doe eyes from you to Jeonghan, nodding his head. “Yeah,” he replied, feeling something flutter inside him. “You?”

“Yeah, I'm alright,” Jeonghan answered with a light tone, bringing a hand on top of Joshua’s lower abdomen, caressing gently. 

Joshua shuddered against the touch, enjoying it as he lifted his hand to cup Jeonghan’s chin. “Are you sure?” he asked. 

Jeonghan raised his gaze to find Joshua’s, nodding silently. There was a brief moment in which Joshua thought he saw something flashing on Jeonghan’s features. He knew that time needed to be given for all parties to fall together on this new agreement. And Joshua was more than happy to wait, if it meant that he would have more nights like this.

The next day, you were back home. Jeonghan kept his word and spent the night over at yours, being so that he had everything he needed in his duffel bag. When you arrived, you were too tired, and so happy to do anything but snuggle in your bedcovers with both Joshua and Jeonghan, who were happy to please.

You fell asleep quickly, hugging Jeonghan’s frame tightly to your body, using his chest as a pillow. The sight was too cozy and warm to Joshua that he could not resist but following suit, falling asleep too, clinging onto you.

But then Joshua woke with a sharp jolt, his breathing becoming erratic as he dully came to grips with reality. For a small moment, he felt himself falling in his dream, and then he had to breathe in slowly to calm himself and gain lucidity. 

First, he made sure that he had not woken you up with his brusque move. But he found you huddled beneath the covers, as his eyes adjusted, he noticed that your arm was draped over a pillow, and Jeonghan was nowhere to be found.

That was until he heard a short smoker’s cough in the distance. Slowly, Joshua slid beneath the sheets and out of the bed completely, curiously stepping out of the bedroom, spotting the faint blue light coming from the phone in Jeonghan’s hand.

Jeonghan was lying on the couch, his back resting on the armrest, and his legs stretched out along the seat of the couch. He was so immersed in what he was looking on the screen to notice Joshua coming to the living room until he sat down on the armchair. Jeonghan lowered the phone to his tummy, blinking at Joshua with a light frown on his face.

“Can’t sleep?” Joshua asked with a hushed tone.

“You snore,” Jeonghan accused with an equally low tone, but his sounded full of reproach. He raised his phone to his gaze again, trying to appeal uninterested.

Joshua laughed airily, making Jeonghan’s eyes flick from the screen to where the sweet sound came from. “I don’t snore.”

“Yes, you do,” Jeonghan countered.

“Ah, okay, okay. I’m sorry,” Joshua said. “What are you doing in there?” he nodded to the phone in Jeonghan’s hands. 

Jeonghan locked the phone, discarding it on the coffee table with a tired sigh. “Nothing,” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his tummy. He chewed on his bottom lip before deciding to just let it out. “They want me to direct a mini-series for a streaming platform. The former director stepped out and someone slipped in my name as an option.”

“That’s a good opportunity,” Joshua said, frowning at the reluctance in Jeonghan’s demeanor. “Are you turning it down?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t worked on directing for television before. I’d need to learn a few things,” Jeonghan sucked in a breath pensively. “I’d need to make some preparations, clear my schedule for the next four months, maybe. I don’t know.” 

“You don’t want to do it because of the amount of work that it implies, or you just don’t feel attracted to the idea?” Joshua asked, tilting his head to one side a bit to study Jeonghan with his gaze.

A thing that Jeonghan felt, the weight of Joshua’s scrutiny only added to the awkwardness he felt around the whole situation. “I just don’t think I am the person to do it, you know?”

“Why not?” Joshua pressed, a tiny smile sneaking on his face. “You’re talented and have experience directing for years. The person who recommended you must see that too, right?”

“Ah, now you’re intriguing me,” Jeonghan chuckled lightly, playing with his own fingers to ease his nerves. “You’re only nice when you want something from me, so spit it out,” he said, sneaking a glance at Joshua, only to find his doe eyes, glinting in an emotion that Jeonghan saw only whenever Joshua looked at you.

“I have everything I want,” Joshua mumbled, his sweet tone matching the smile on his face.

Jeonghan fixed his gaze on his hands once again, trying to keep it away from Joshua as best as he could. “Do you, really?” he continued aimlessly.

The room fell silent for a long second, it was a silence that allow for many things to fall in place too. Joshua noticed once again the heavy reluctance in his best friend, and he was now determined to get to the bottom of it. The avoidant eyes, the plain tone; Jeonghan was as clear as water, so clear to Joshua that in fact he could interpret the way that he blinked. Jeonghan was tired, but refused to go to bed.

“Have you thought about Bunny’s proposition?” Joshua asked softly, breaking through the silence seamlessly.

“About going apartment hunting with her?” Jeonghan nodded, sniffling dryly, rubbing the tip of his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I promised I would take a look at it. So far all of the options she’s looking at are nice. Good neighborhoods.”

“But are you considering what she said? About moving in with us?” Joshua pressed, but trying to keep his tone under control.

“I uh…” Jeonghan sighed, a smile breaking on the features of his face. “Isn’t it too soon? I mean, I get that you guys did it before you even knew each other’s last names, but I need to warm up a little before I decide on doing something like that,” he said, spitting out the words in a swift manner that only made more evident that he was nervous.

“That’s not true, we already knew each other’s last names,” Joshua giggled lightly, amused at knowing what was making Jeonghan so awkward.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “My thoughts remain the same,” he said. “It’s a bit too soon, isn’t it? And now with… the newer developments, I don’t know,” he shifted on his seat.

“Newer developments, huh?” Joshua clicked his tongue mockingly. “You’re just looking for excuses, Jeonghan.”

“I’m not, Joshua,” he sulked.

“You’re here all the time, you spend most nights here. You only go back to yours so you can change your clothes, tell me if that’s not stupid,” Joshua refuted with an accusatory pout.

“I do sleep back at my place, sometimes. I only come back here to visit our girlfriend,” he retorted, rolling his eyes but he knew his argument was weak. “I don’t think you considered how I’d feel with all this,” he finally let out, turning his gaze to the wall behind the sofa. He crossed one leg over the other at the same time he shifted his crossed arms over his chest, walling himself off completely.

“Well, how do you feel?” Joshua egged, knowing his best friend well enough to know he was playing hard to get.

The Yoon Jeonghan letting himself go down easy? Even if he admitted his feelings for Joshua, it took him months to get over it. Joshua was the only person in history to reject him, and now he wants him all of a sudden.

“I don’t know, confused?” he mumbled shyly, a tiny smile spreading on his thin lips. “I think it’s going to take a little bit of time for me to digest this.”

Then, Jeonghan raised his gaze, finding Joshua across the living room. The window behind him showed the sun rising through the thin curtains, painting a soft halo around his head, the chocolate brown hair shining richly under the incipient sunlight. Maybe you were right, Jeonghan thought. Joshua’s dark but sweet gaze glided over the features of Jeonghan’s face, already knowing what the root of the problem was. Maybe you were right, and those feelings never went away. And maybe, those feelings kindly went to sleep, waiting for either of them to realize.

Joshua stood up, just as Jeonghan moved his feet on the sofa to make space on it. “Well, while you digest this, can I have some fun?” Joshua asked with an ease in his tone that nearly sounded sultry to Jeonghan’s ears.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows in mild bewilderment. “Have fun?” he parroted.

Joshua placed his hands on the armrest of the couch, a knee between Jeonghan’s legs and leaned over him, nodding his head with light motions. “Yeah, I’ll have fun while you think about it,” he said with a slightly mocking tone. “What do you say?” he asked in a lower tone as he guided his lips to meet Jeonghan’s in a shallow kiss.

“What if I wanna take my time to think about it?” Jeonghan retorted, tensing on the couch but reciprocating the light kiss with another.

“I’ll give you until Bunny wakes up to do it,” Joshua husked, locking his lips with Jeonghan in a slow kiss of smacking sounds and low hums on both parts.

Jeonghan raised his hands, finding Joshua’s hips, grabbing the waistband of the grey sweats to pull him in, so now Joshua’s crotch was pressed to his own. “I’m lost, what am I thinking about again?” he asked aloofly.

“See, you weren’t even serious about it,” Joshua giggled, lifting a hand from the armrest to meet Jeonghan’s cheek, to then sink his fingers into the dark mane of hair. “You like playing hard to get.”

“I’m not the one that’s hard right now,” Jeonghan quipped sharing another kiss, releasing a quiet grunt upon feeling Joshua’s tongue rolling into his mouth with ease, as though he had kissed Jeonghan’s mouth countless times before.

“You sure about that?” Joshua asked, his sweet tone falling into a sultry one, mirrored in his lust-lidded eyes.

Jeonghan slipped his hands beneath Joshua’s t-shirt, enjoying the way the touch of his cold hands elicited a quick shudder. “What kind of fun are we talking about?”

“The kind of fun that requires you to be quiet so that we don’t wake our girlfriend up,” Joshua smirked, lowering his hips more so he could press his growing erection against Jeonghan’s crotch.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” Jeonghan realized with a low chuckle, letting his hands roam on the line of Joshua’s back.

Joshua smiled in triumph. “Are you going to think about it, then? About moving in with us?”

“It depends,” Jeonghan replied, moving a hand to cup Joshua’s nape, bringing him for another swift kiss.

“On what?” Joshua asked.

Jeonghan smiled. “On how well you fuck me.”

✮ author's note: who would've thought that hannieween could actually write a slow burn for jihan ksjdhgdj

one thing that i wasn't aware of until i wrote this chapter is that i have written too many shower scenes like ... is this my joshushushu side speaking? is this what joshua would've wanted? to have a shower nearly every fucking chapter? lol

also, can you guys believe this is the first chapter in hannieween history that doesn't have p in v sex? o_o

on a side note: i am in a pretty tough spot right now and was asking for help. thank you everyone who has helped me!!

anyway, toodles!

✮ STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER SEVEN!! ✮

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[onehunnit]

UPDATE! I've been marinating in the crazyform sauce so here is my updated list....

1. Everything: She is soooooo fucking perfect for me and though I don't often reach for ballads on my day-to-day listening, this song HITS! It does what she needed to do and then decided to raise the bar. Because you get this sort of maturity thematically and vocally that sends chills down my back. Everything is 100% my favorite song off this album I can not even try to lie to you at this point. Everything (JONGHO) save me fr....

2. Silver Light: Synthwave/pop/whatever you want to call it. ATZ have yet to release a song in this genre that did not blow all the other songs in the release out of the water. Silver Light would be on top if Everything wasn't there. I'm right I don't know what to tell you! The song structure for one works so well as well as how well the vocal distrubutions were. like Silver Light is that girl indeed!

3. Youth: This rounds up the top three that are top three because of how much these songs mean to me. Youth never fails to make me just sit down and really take in the song. Also the lofi production.. like ur jokingggg. This song will forever have a special place in my heart. She's the Blue Neighborhood of this album. iykyk. I would have formed my worldview around this song when I was 13 i just knowwwww.

4. ARRIBA: I was correct when I said that this song is THEE song of the album, because it just ties everything together? Like I think it's the representative song because of the dancehall and latin influences along with the delivery of it all? It's playful and fun and it's an ateez song. It's them in a song that's all i can say! ALSO THE TIME SIGNATURE BEING IN 6/8 WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOD. It blew my MIND! I cannot stop talking about how genius this song is and I won't ever stop either.

5: Crazy Form: The actual title track lmao. What can i say? She gets the girlies up and moving and shouting 90-2-4 KICK THAT DRUM!!! MY EGO IN THE SHOW! This title track shows how much Ateez have grown and I think concludes THE WORLD themes well. This song also has iconic parts such as TAKI TAKI DANCE TIL THE SUNRISE YEAH! and WATDA GATDA STEP LIKE THIS!!! Is it their best tt? no, im sorry but answer is right there.

6. IT's You: They should be at the club :sob: The word play in the title alone is peak. It is definitely the stand-out unit song of all of them, and it is bc of the sexy concept. The r&b route was the most correct thing for woosansang. My only gripe with the song is while the distribution on paper is pretty even, WOW do we need something to break upthe san fest in the middle.

7. Dreamy Day: To everyone who misses treasure era (me) OH BOY do I have the song for you! Dreamy Day has nostalgia and love stuffed in between every note and I would be a big fat LIAR if I didn't say I listen to it everyday. And it makes me feel good, along w/ the fact it was written for atiny? Way to make a girl feel special

8. WE KNOW: Ateez will always kill it with the openers and closers. As I said before the transitions are so good and We Know brings us back into the soundscape and world of THE WORLD so well. It's just a really good closer and what I like the most about it is how it continues from Outlaw. Like if you sat down and listened to all of THE WORLD in one sitting, Outlaw and We Know transition between each other pretty well, not sound wise necessarily, but you still get a sense you're in that same world while entering a new arc.

9. Emergency: I personally think if WE KNOW wasn't the opener, Emergency would have been and that's why they're back to back. But BY FAR We Know/Emergency best back to back songs, right up there with WDIG/New World. DO NOT SEPARATE. I also enjoy the meaning and how introspective they get in this song. Also a demonstration of how the rap actually adds depth to the song, not just the variation but meaning. The rap line develop the themes so well in this. It's honestly one of the best storytelling/thematic raps in the whole discography and it needs its flowers! Also the "Party never ends" into a party (dancehall) song (x2 even, w/ ARRIBA right after crazy form) is ironic and that irony? *chefs kiss* Like whoever sequenced this album UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT!

10. MATZ: I think i listened to her too much. APOLOGIES! The raps good and I look forward to what seonghwa brings in the future regarding his pen game. I PAY YOU NO PAY DOLLAR PAY YEN WON PAY BLAH BLAH. I KNOW he was feeling his self in that booth. Their identities shine through which I appreciate but. But I cannot shake off smth I feel about it.... it almost feels gimmicky. Like maybe in my subconscious i expected smth else and i can't get over it. Oh and the end was... it happened certainly. It caught me off guard and im amazed at how the producers made it work, somehow.

11. EP:FIN: What a way to end an album, nay, a trilogy. People sleep on intros/outros too much and EP: FIN culminates all of THE WORLD, not just WILL in a hopeful instrumental that makes you feel like you can take on the world. It opens the next chapter beautifully while letting you feel like the previous once closed. It's the cherry on top

12. Crescent pt. 2: It does its job and does its job well. It's an interlude, I mean, what can i say LMAO.

First Listen Ranking: (SUBJECT TO CHANGE)

Everything- I am a sucker for ballads kill me!

ARRIBA - this is the song of the album. I said what I said

Silver Light- okay 80s synthwave!!

Youth- RnB yungi track like. What more can I ask for?

IT's You- see what happens when you give yeosang lines??? BANGERS HAPPEN

Crazy Form- the intro is crazyyyyy

MATZ - my fave hj rap by FARRRR hwa also slayed, okay I see you variation king!

Emergency -

WE KNOW - i ❤ the whisper transition and how scrunchy the transitions in general are. Its beautiful

Dreamy Day - this was a really dreamy song they got that right fr...

FIN: WILL - this is so hopeful.... a single tear rolled down my face

Crescent pt2: you know what? It did what it had to

[asterlark]

ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey

eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele

he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams

he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)

(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)

the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in

so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented

(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)

jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense

“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:

“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)

justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)

adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)

larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons

“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is

bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks

jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”

but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term

then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase

of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing

he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot

his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice

the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look

SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs

and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little

he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)

they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them

they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)

around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates

THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun

bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much

and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck

so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”

spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win

jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation

speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries

but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty

they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs

jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now

and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake

he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)

i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)

the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit

jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist

when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward

jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award

his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"

obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"

the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes

r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up

that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics

and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time

summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games

bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)

senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc

however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital

he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away

eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it

he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song

with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom

meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in

and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube

but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming

bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school

luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out

when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes

(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)

their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride

then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over

after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship

they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!

they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢

(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)

bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)

when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.

what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.

his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).

and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.

jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"

and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.

the end :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY

See also:

Emotional Love Making || [MOBILE POST]

Emotional Love Making Pt. 2

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[cherrycheridarling]

'someday maybe' | t.h.

tom holland x singer!reader

warnings: one swear? fluff and angst? kisses

summary: you're so close to finishing your second album when your manager pushes the deadline, your ex tom helps you write the final track.

{listen to someday by michael bublè and meghan trainor (if you want)}

wc: 2.1k

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey,"

"Yes, yes. I know. You are not being a very helpful manager right now, Noelle." you spoke to your phone as you paced around the living room, "Okay. I'll get working on it. Bye." you huffed and threw your phone against the couch.

Your album was due to be released in two months and you needed one more song to tie it all together. Your manager, Noelle, was pushing you to finish the song so she could start the promo of the album.

You were incredibly grateful for your career, but the pressure weighed down on you everyday. Never ending.

With a final groan you picked up your acoustic guitar and sat on the couch. Picking at the strings, trying to find a melody. You hit record on your voice memo app before strumming away.

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey, we can be in love once more. 'Till then I won't give my love away. Darling, I'm forever only yours." you sang softly.

You and Tom had a joyous relationship. A love that only ever existed in movies and fairytales. The type of love story that gets told for generations and onwards. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

Your breakup was calm, serene and clean. A mutual agreement as if your whole relationship had been a business deal. There were no loose ends or jealous passive aggressive remarks made. Just maturity and respect for one another.

Your pinky still held the promise ring he gave you. A token of appreciation. A reassurance that he'd always be there for you. And he lived up to his word.

Tom walked in and sat across from you, startling you, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Whatcha writing?"

"Need a final song for the album. Sorry for showing up unannounced. I just get better inspiration here, with all the memories, you know?" you timidly looked back down at the guitar.

Tom nodded, "No need to apologize. We gave you a spare key for a reason."

You couldn't stop yourself from spilling the words from your lips, "That was when we were together."

You could hear the awkward silence start to fill the room before he spoke again, "Still our best friend, Y/L/N."

The pain that crossed your features was instant. Being addressed by your last name felt like a stab to the gut. Especially by Tom.

You nodded before playing again, "Can I help you write it?" Tom asked as he sat next to you.

"Dancer, gymnast, actor and now songwriter. How many hidden talents have you got, Holland?" you teased making him laugh.

He shrugged with a smile, "It's kind of like writing a poem, right?"

You pondered on his analogy before slowly nodding, "Yeah, it kind of is. Give it a go."

You began playing the melody and he listened intently for a few moments before singing, "I love seeing you happy. I miss seeing that smile. It's been such a long time. A– Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. I can't do it." he shook his head aggressively with a loud laugh as you stopped playing.

"No!" you quickly protested, "That was amazing! Don't leave me hanging, c'mon." you nudged him with your shoulder before strumming again.

"Alright, alright." he ran his hands down his face, "And although I don't have you, I know now that I need to?" he paused and gave you a skeptical look before you nodded again, "Somehow make you mine. Mmm."

"Oh, okay. He's giving ad-libs and all. Get it." you nodded as he laughed.

You were so engrossed on Tom actually writing a song with you that you didn't focus on the lyrics he was singing.

"And I won't lie, it's hard seeing you with him 'cause I know he can't hold you like I can." his mood seemed to drop by a thousand as the words left his lips.

"When can we meet this boyfriend of yours?" Harrison flicked your forehead from across the booth.

You, Harrison, Tom and Tuwaine were all sat in the local pub. Pints of beer in front of each of you as loud music and chatting filled your ears.

You shrugged, "He's picking me up, so possibly tonight."

Tuwaine's eyes lit up, "Fina-fucking-lly. I swear you've kept him hidden for years."

"We've only been together for three months, T." you laughed lightly with the group of boys.

And they met him. It wasn't the smoothest of introductions, but an introduction nonetheless.

"Boys, this is Kai. Kai this is Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine." you gestured to the parties as they all shook hands and gave polite greetings.

"So," Harrison started, "What do you do for a living, Kai?"

Kai cleared his throat, "I'm a Senior Resident at Kingston Hospital. Working towards being Head of Pediatrics."

Tuwaine and Harrison both nodded, impressed by his profession. Tom's face remained expressionless as he stared at Kai with cold eyes.

"Do you have any siblings, Kai? Any psycho ex-girlfriends? Any wacky cousins?" Tuwaine joked making everyone laugh. "'Cause Y/N has a lot of wacky cousins."

"We could be in love once more,"

"Hey!" you gasped with a laugh.

Kai pulled you closer to him as he laughed, "No, no wacky cousins or psycho exes, but I do have an older sister and a younger brother."

This game of ask and answer continued on for a few more minutes. Tom didn't say a word, just sipped his beer and burned holes into Kai with his eyes. If looks could kill, Kai would be six feet under.

Kai was a sweetheart, but you two ended ages ago. His work got too much for him and your job had you touring and travelling every second.

You picked up after him with the chorus before diving into your own verse, "I remember that love song. I sang every word wrong, but you didn't mind, no, no."

"I love the things you do. It's how you do the things you love. Well it's not a love song, not a love song. I love the way you get me, but correct me if I'm wrong. This is not a love song, not a love song!" Tom belted the 'Austin & Ally' song from the top of his lungs.

"Your turn!" he pointed the pretend mic in your direction.

You laughed, not knowing any of the lyrics, but still wanting to participate, "I love that you not a licket! And you own a watch and chicken! We got a car!" you sang with full confidence, making Tom burst with laughter.

"Yes! Sing it, darling!" he cheered you on, "Absolutely butchering the lyrics, but sing it!"

"Being stuck inside a car. If it's not a doe, don't kiss it! I can't hear a missing, when there's a shoe inside the ceiling! If you really need to fart, you can lunch on a pig farm! Love song! Love song!" you couldn't even hear the song in the background, your voice overpowering it.

Tom was hunched over from laughing before he came back up and planted a soft kiss on your lips, "You are one hundred percent ridiculous and I love it."

You brought yourself back to reality and sang again, "And I'll admit that I miss you, but only if you do. 'Cause you know that I'm shy. And I can't lie, it's hard seeing you with her. 'Cause I know she can't love you like I can."

Tom's eyes met yours as the words fell from your gentle lips. His mouth was slightly agape as you continued to strum.

"You are absolute rubbish. Imagine coming in eighth. Embarassing." you laughed as you crushed Harrison in a game of Mario Kart.

He shoved you with his shoulder, "You're such a try ha—"

"—It's always the same, Tom! How can I trust you? You follow gorgeous models on Instagram and expect me to trust you?" Nadia's voice cut Harrison's words off.

You looked at him with wide eyes, his expression matching yours.

"Those women that I follow have been my friends for ages. Who I follow on a stupid app shouldn't effect how much you trust me."

You paused the game, cutting off the theme song, "How long have they been fighting like this?"

Harrison sighed, a long groan following, "A few weeks. I think it started when she saw that he liked your Instagram picture?"

You stammered, "M-my post? She got mad about my post?"

Harrison nodded before opening his mouth to speak, but Nadia cut him off again, "And she practically lives here! How do you think it makes me feel seeing my boyfriend play house with a superstar?!"

"Aw, a superstar? I'm flattered." you joked making Harrison stifle a laugh.

"I've been friends with Y/N since we were in nappies!"

"I can't be with you if you're going to be friends with her."

Your laughter abruptly died at her words. Harrison stiffened beside you.

"Y-you can't be serious. You can't make me choose between you and her."

"Why? Because you're gonna choose her?" you could hear her voice crack.

"I-" Tom couldn't make out a sentence for a few moments, "Yeah. I'm gonna choose her."

Your heart fell from it's place, stopping at your feet. Harrison brought a hand to his mouth, "H-he chose you. He chose you!" he whisper shouted before you shushed him.

"Of course. I don't know why I expected anything different. I think I'll be going now." Nadia's footsteps approached the living room.

You and Harrison scrambled to look as if you weren't eavesdropping on their argument/breakup.

Tom followed close behind her, "I'm sorry. I really am."

She nodded, hand on the doorknob, "I know. Goodbye." she stepped out of the house, slamming the front door shut in the process.

Tom let out a breath of relief before turning to you and Harrison who were staring at the Mario Kart home screen with the infamous tune playing.

"You guys are terrible actors."

"'Till then I won't give my love away,"

"I'm forever only yours." the both of you finished the song in unison.

There was a moment of silence before you reached over and ended the voice recording.

"T-that was really good. You can change what I wrote, I know it isn't as good as anything you would've written, but I tried. And it was actually pretty fun and I never knew how difficult songwriting was un—"

"—Kiss me." you cut Tom's rambling off.

His eyes grew wide, "W-wha—"

"—Kiss me, Holland."

He swallowed, a small smile stretching on his lips, "Thank God."

And with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Interlocking like missing puzzle pieces. Moving in sync like waves in the ocean. Soft and sweet, but filled with passion. You could feel his smile against your lips causing you to grin.

His hand came up to pull your face closer into his. Caressing your jaw, fingertips playing with the hairs on the back of your neck. His other hand holding your hip in a tight grip. Pressing the pads of his digits into your flesh, scared that you might slip through his fingers again.

One of your hands was pressed flat against his chest. Steadying yourself, the heat of the kiss threatening to throw you off of your axis. Your other hand tangled itself into Tom's curls. Pulling and tugging lightly causing small groans to fall from Tom's lips. Your fingernails scratching his scalp. Pulling him impossibly closer to you.

"I want my ten pounds." Harrison's voice snapped you and Tom out of your make out session.

Him and Tuwaine stood in the doorway, shit eating grins on their faces.

Tuwaine laughed before placing a ten pound note in Harrison's palm, "You guys couldn't have waited until next month to get back together?"

"You two were betting on us?" Tom laughed at his mates who nodded.

You shook your head with a smile, "Absolute idiots, all of you."

Harrison let out a happy sigh and pocketed the money, "Today was a good day. Had a sick ass shoot. Got ten pounds. And my best friends are finally together again." he waltzed into the kitchen with Tuwaine, leaving you and Tom alone again.

Tom's shy expression met your gleeful one before he spoke, "Someday came a lot sooner than expected, huh?" he chuckled.

You nodded with a laugh, "It certainly did and I am not complaining."

He sent you a wide grin before cupping your face and connecting your lips to his again.

"Darling, I'm forever only yours."

[fayewoods-2]

Well theyre all really good tbh One of my favourites is Vampires Will Never Hurt You (from the album I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love which is generally shortened to 'Bullets'), it was the first song I listened to from the Bullets album, and I wasnt really sure about it at first but I love the concept, and the bit thats like 'Someone call the doctor, and someone call the nurse! And someone buy me roses, and someone burn the church.... we're hanging out with corpses and driving endless hearse and someone save my soull *insert mostly incoherent screaming about saving souls*' which just sounds so cool. Its kinda post hardcore ig? Another favourite would have to be Famous Last Words which just goes SO hard and its crazy tbh. Gerard Way wrote it about his brother (Mikey) wanting to leave the band, and its (nearly) the closing track of The Black Parade (their most famous album and the reason theyre known as 'emo'). It has a music video too and everythings LITERALLY ON FIRE (also at the time Gerard was afraid of fire) and its literally insane. I love the opening most, but also the bridge which goes 'And I see you lying next to me... with words I thought I'd never speak, awake and unafraid... asleep or dead?' and You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prisons was one of the first tracks I listened to in Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, and its kinda weird tbh (have i spoken about this before to you? I think i have-) and I love the concept and also the second verse, and how the second verse just seems SO deranged and then SO desperate, and then how it goes from kinda like calm to fucking screaming is AMAZING Summertime is amazing too, although arguably Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys is like the worst album (I love it. First mcr CD I got, and first MCR album I listened to). its kinda like a love song ig? and I relate to parts too. (also theres 2 comics stemmed from the album and I LOVE them so much). My fav part would be the part in the second verse that goes like 'Terrified of what I'd be, as a kid from what Ive seen, every single day when people try to put the pieces back together, just to smash them down... turn my headphones up real loud... I dont think I need them now... cos you stop the noise and-' which kinda just connects to me ig. I want someone who makes it so i dont need my headphones... also Tomorrows Money from the technically fanmade album known as Conventional Weapons, which has 10 tracks put into 5 singles titled 'number one' and so on. At the start its kinda like screaming (but not really?), which I cant entirely understand but uh yeah its like 'Fell in love with a vampire... touch(?) up for the empire... fell in love with the brushfire baby, you gonna take it from here? I'm gonna take it from you...' and yeah its AMAZING All The Angels is fun too, one of the calmest and most depressing (not as much as Cancer (the song) tho), my fave part is 'She went alone... and went to the emergency... and parked her car in the dark... they told her please... he's only got but minutes more... you might just say goodbye' and it just hits HARD even tho its technically just like a live demo thing for the 10th anniversary of The Black Parade. S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W is great too, its one of the calmest from Danger Days, and its about tricking your child into a bunker when a nuclear war starts. Dark meaning, I know. Also Foundations of Decay, their most recent track, from when they got back together in like 2020. Its amazing. People call it the hardest song mcr have ever done, and its crazy. It starts out all staticy like, and then its just INSANE!!! my fav part would be in the second verse, technically prechorus where its like 'But its much to late, you're in the race, so we'll press... and press till you cant take it any more!!!' And uh yeah, thats my fav from each album plus a few more which I had to do

I'm not fully okay I think Im being overstimulated by all these fucking noises and they wont stop and im tired and Im out for 5 more hours, one more hour of this then 1 and a half of being in a concert band and then half an hour break (less probably) and then some dumb thing my stupid self volunteered for where I have to answer questions and lead activities related to this hellhole (as in where i am irl thats leading to all this fucking overstimulation) and I cant even fucking get peace and quiet cos I'm coughing too fucking much and I hate this i hate this i hate this why the fuck wont everyone shut up stupid people stupid paper stupid machines stupid air conditioner stupid cough

[shotosprincess]

♡ dating the bnha boys — hcs

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

➪ shoto todoroki

pls you’ve prolly been terrified of him for a while prior bc of how ?? talented ?? the mf is ??

but mans prolly saved you at some point and there was this lingering stare you two shared before he left you at recovery girls’ office; were you reading too far into things ?

spoiler alert: you weren’t.

anYWAYS-

he’s the kind of boyfriend to tenderly brush your hair for you and attempt to learn how to tie and braid your hair up in cute ,, simple designs !!

he’d always be ready with little things you’re constantly forgetting; extra snacks,, water,, a fully charged portable charger ,, trust me when i say that man is pREPARED- after all ,, he needs to be ready with everything to take care of his little sweetheart ,, does he not ?

ONLY TWO POINTS IN AND IM ALREADY CRYING BC I LOVE HIM SM BYE BYE BYE

at some point he’d find you sitting on the roof by yourself late at night,, only to stay with you and let you fall asleep on his chest as he drapes a blanket over you and heats it up a lil with his quirk

OKAY YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THAT MAN WOULDNT HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU AT ALL TIMES AND WOULD SOMETIMES EVEN GET LOWKEYHIGHKEY KINDA SAD WHEN YOU DONT LET HIM

prolly bc he just wants to prove to you that he can be useful

pls just let the man know he’s useful and important he never shows it directly but he needs the reassurance—

he’d give you a warm massage w his quirk whenever you’re in pain :”)

HIDES AND PROTECTS YOU FROM MINETA BC HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT FANTASIZES ABOUT

loves heating//cooling things for you ,, like instant noodles or ice packs !!

surprises you w jewelry that have his initials on them !!

GIVES THE BEST CUDDLES I SWEAR

would hold an umbrella for u while you loop your arm into his as the two of you walk home through the light rain :”)

cries into your chest sometimes after youve fallen asleep bc it’s late nights like these when he reflects on just how lucky of a guy he is to have you— it’s hard for him to articulate it directly ,, but when he does fully open up to you ab it ,, you end up crying too .

WOULD 110% MAKE THE TWO OF YOU YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIL ICE RINK AND TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATE // DO FUN FIGURE SKATING DUOS WITH YOU

➪ katsuki bakugou

prolly got with you initially bc of a dare ( and he nEVER passes up a dare ) ,, but eventually those feelings started to become real and honestly ? it kinda scared the shit outta him . he didn’t know why ,, but for some reason he didnt actually want to leave .

OKAY LARA JEAN AND PETER MF KAVINSKY TYPE BEAT ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ HIT US WITH THE FAKE RELATIONSHIP TO REAL RELATIONSHIP TROPE YESYESYES

teasingly-mean nicknames = his love language . enough said .

AGGRESSIVE !! KISSES !! ALL !! THE DAMN !! TIME !!

makes you wear his hoodie whenever you show even the sLIGHTEST hint at being cold

he just rly wants to see you in his clothes

he’s so clueless on how to do this whole boyfriend thing ,, but he’s definitely trying bc it’s for you :”)

watches and tries so desperately to copy all the cute couples in the movies you guys watch together

“ roses...do you want roses ? “ “ what ? “ “ the guy in the movie gave her roses...do you want roses too ? “

but at the end of the day you just appreciate him for who he is and that’s more than enough for you :”)

PLS DENKI AND KIRI ARE CONSTANTLY SHOCKED AT HOW MUCH HE’S TRYING FOR YOU

will take any and every opportunity to show off his strength and quirk to you <3

now we all know this man gets jealous hella easily ,, and its no different w relationships :”) he’d constantly make it a point to hold you extra close to him in public ,, show you off on social media and call you by a nickname//petname whenever possible just to reiterate to ppl the fact that you’re his and he’s yours

WOULD LET YOU SIT ON HIS LAP AND DO HIS EYELINER AT 2AM PURELY BC YOU GOT BORED

pls i could rly see myself doing that i wont lie

honestly sometimes he forgets himself and his temper gets a little out of hand ,, but the second he sees his feral reflection in your fearful eyes,, he pulls you to his chest and apologizes profusely :”))

➪ denki kaminari

MF PROLLY GOT WITH YOU BC OF A RIGGED GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE AT MINA’S PLACE I CANNOT SEE ANYTH HAPPENING OTHERWISE

one tiny kiss turned into two ,, which turned into three ,, and before you knew it ,, the both of you were spilling out the pent up feelings you had for one another all this time—

mina never shuts up ab it ,, she’s so proud of her matchmaking skills

when the power goes out during a storm ,, he holds onto you tight and plays w your hair as he uses his quirk to turn things back on ,,, “ shhh it’s ok,, i’m here “

will do anything and everything to make you smile <3

he has a lil album in his camera roll with all his favourite pictures of you ,, which is practically just all of them tbh ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

HE LOVES SHOWING YOU OFF IN THE MOST WHOLESOME WAY POSSIBLE !!

super energetic n bubbly but at the end of your dates he passes out right away in your arms

you make sure to wrap him up in blankets and give him an overload of kisses after he’s rly asleep though

will work embarrassingly hard to win you stuffed animals at the fair !! it doesn’t always work ,, but it’s cute nontheless <3

some of the staff and children at the fairs get pissed off but oh well ,,, what you do for love

pls he prolly makes you lil bento boxes for lunch every now and then ( ESPECIALLY DURING EXAM WEEK ) w tiny notes and designs taped on them

constantly calls you “ shawty “ lowkey un ironically and dice rolls in ur direction whenever he sees you ,,, you just end up laughing and playfully punching him

I JUST KNOW HE DOES THE F BOY LIP BITE FACE CONSTANTLY

ITS AN ADDICTION FOR HIM I SWEAR

SUPER CLINGY BUT IN THE CUTEST WAY AAAA

LIL STICKY NOTE LOVE LETTERS FROM HIM IN YOUR LOCKER EVERY !! MF !! DAY !!!

you both agreed that at home cozy netflix dates w microwave popcorn and fuzzy blankets >>> movie theatre dates

110% made a playlist for you at some point when he crushed on you from afar and shared it w you after you started dating

he made a collaborative playlist for yall AND multiple playlists of songs that remind him of you afterwards

pls i just kNOW this man’s love language is making playlists

theyre prolly all categorized by mood or smth too w the cutest covers ever pls

➪ ejirou kirishima

you initially met him bc he was hella upset and alone this one time and you were the only one to notice and be there for him bc he ran away from everyone else to hide the “ uNmanLy “ tears :”))

takes you w him on his lil gym visits ,, hypes you up with every little thing u accomplish !!

constantly teasing bakugou with how he’s able to pull you and how lucky he is to have you

bakugou gets hella annoyed most of the time and just blasts him away-

idk bro i just feel like kiri prolly calls you “ adorable “ alot i wont lie-

LOVES HAND HOLDING,, takes any opportunity to hold ur hand and trace lil casual patterns across your knuckles w his thumb

sometimes he’ll even draw lil hearts on your hand

play fighting but sometimes the two of you get too carried away and he actually loses half of the time-

LATE NIGHT GAME NIGHTS WITH HIM AND THE BAKUSQUAD,, he loves being on the team against you so he can get all competitive

OK HEAR ME OUT;;;; DANCE BATTLES W HIM AS YOUR PARTNER AGAINST RANDOM PPL AT PARTIES

mans gets hella insecure ab himself sometimes ,, so he loves doing lil things for you !! opening a can ,, pulling the blanket over you ,, zipping up your jacket <33

STOP WAIT THATS SO CUTE BYE I WANT THAT

lets you dye his hair—THATS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS YOU BYE

pls yall prolly aggressively play wii sports and just dance against one another on a regular basis;; it’s literally your thing and you cannot tell me otherwise ahjdjfj

pls i just KNOW this man’s an overly passionate wii player

will wrap his arms around your waist and hug u from behind as you make breakfast

WOULD WEAR MATCHING EARRINGS W YOU IF ITS FOR YOU

slow dances in the living room at midnight w you !!

eventually as you spent more time together ,,, you were able to change his idea of “ manliness “ ,, and he was able to realize that manliness is not equivalent to stoicism and that expressing ur feelings is still totally manly and totally valid !! <33

[waybrights]

the long awaited (not rlly ahdbajd) lore post about how the band's dynamic and relationships fluctuate throughout the eight (?) years the fic follows!!!

(so, i realise that in the show, they're 13 in 2019/20 but i kinda forgot abt that when i was making this au so the band starts blowing up in 2013 when, canonically they would've been like 5 so i accidentally aged them all up and now they're 20)

2013 - they're 13 and very close to falling apart as a group. the only thing keeping them together is the fact that they wouldn't rlly have anyone else to go to. the leader is clearly sasha and the other two kinda do what she says. ofc anne argues w her a lot, because she's fed up with the way her and marcy are treated and how all their ideas are chucked out the window. eventually, i think sasha crosses a line (maybe smth like in the show, she keeps anne out instead of letting her go home to her bday party) and anne decides that it's time for them to go their separate ways.

however, they get thrown into fame and suddenly there is no chance of them breaking up the band and going their separate ways. so they're practically forced to stay together and have to pretend to get along for the public. ofc sash and anne rlly don't like it, but they try. though, it usually ends up in arguments or snide remarks that get under the other's skin and marcy having to come between them and settle it. leading to even more strain on their friendship.

2014 - somehow, it's got worse. anne and sasha weren't on talking terms for half the year due to a falling out over costumes that got a bit heated. marcy was constantly flitting between the two, trying desperately to make amends because people were starting to notice the tension when they did interviews. ofc they tried to keep up the 'we're besties' thing, but even that was quickly falling apart. it doesn't help that the entire time, sasha has been trying to control everything the band does from songs, to how they stand on stage.

both of them kept asking for the band to break up, w sasha saying she would rather go solo than perform w anne, but the idea got shot down p early on due to them being one of the biggest teen bands in the world, so they kinda just, force themselves to make up. and it's awkward for a while, but at least they aren't arguing over every single thing and marcy doesn't have to chose who she's going to hang out w that day. but then that all goes down the drain when sasha has a major falling out w their manager (hop pop) over smth p trivial but ofc it ends up blowing up and everyone ends up taking sides creating a split between both the band and the bts team.

2015 - i think this is when they reach their breaking point and the band goes on an unexplained 'hiatus' for a year, all their concerts get cancelled and they don't produce any music and it seems none of the girls are w eachother (via social media). they go through an unofficial break up. it had actually been initiated by marcy because she simply couldn't deal w the stress of trying to hold the band together anymore and decided it was a good idea for them to split (it also helped that she was closest to the head of their label so she managed to convince him to let them go)

the three hardly talk during their break, i think they're all angry at eachother (marcy w both of them and anne and sasha w each other) so they just decided to steer clear of having to talk to them. during this time sasha does release a solo album and it actually gets quite big because its very obviously her own thoughts and feelings and everyone can tell she worked hard on it, but (and sasha also admits it) it feels like its not as good as it could've been if she was w the other two.

and i feel like that's kinda what spurs her to maybe start getting her act together! like obviously she doesn't 'change' but i think she accepts that marcy and anne are their own people and know what they want. so she ends up trying to get them back together, and it doesn't actually take the other two much convincing (they missed being together a lot more than they care to admit)

2016 - slowly, they're starting to grow closer again. they start hanging out a trio, even when they're alone. anne and sasha hardly argue and they actually think abt each other's ideas. marcy is a lot more relaxed because they don't have to mediate every convo the group has and she doesn't have to worry abt the other two saying something too serious to the other.

ofc they still fight, but they aren't as often and certainly not as messy. they wouldn't consider each other best friends, but they are friends again. i like to think they're both closer to marcy than each other, but they're getting somehwere.

however, no actual apologies were ever said (mainly from sasha ngl) and although anne and marcy like to pretend they're over it, they would still be slightly upset abt it.

2017 - this is the year of sasha's Character Development (TM) according to marcy. idk yet what makes her realise (maybe someone asking her why she's always so distant and awful to the other two, or maybe a question abt why they split up), but it's this year that it clicks for her that she's not been a great friend. so she definitely spends a long time trying to grow and work to fix her mistakes.

i feel like it's around this time she would also kinda step down from her role as the 'leader' of the band, now officially giving all three of them the same amount of control about what they make and how they do it (although, they still don't have much because of the label, but anne and marcy now have more than they did). so now they're all on equal ground and are making amends. she also stops trying to take control of eveything, esp things that are out of her hands (like where they tour and what interviews they do)

not that there aren't still arguments, there are but they never get to the point that they don't talk to each other. there is a pretty big argument between sasha and marcy, but it gets resolved quite fast!

2018 - 2019 - honestly, everything seems to be going smoothly for them. sasha and anne are growing closer (and they're both trying to ignore that weird feeling they get in their stomachs when they get too close in rehearsals/concerts), all three of them are hanging out almost all the time, if one of them is around the other two are close by.

i think they also start opening up to each other around this time, not that they didn't before, but with the amount of problems they had, it wasn't exactly easy to talk abt super personal stuff. but they start, and i think it was anne that started it, she's always been the most open w her emotions and it just increases the closer they get. she also manages to get both marcy and sasha to open up a bit!

2020 - by this time, i think they pretty much consider each other best friends again (well, more for sasha and anne, but they haven't exactly realised they like each other yet. marcy has though and they're tired of the pining at this point).

and i dont want to say anything else because this is where the fic pics up!!! it was super fun trying to work all this stuff out sbsbbssh, it isn't all like 100% set in stone, some stuff is liable to change but pls feel free to ask any questions!!! thank u all for reading this far and i hope u enjoyed some sats au lore <3

[harrylilies]

The Royal Series | Pt. I

The Royal Series Masterlist

I posted this series in 2018 but in late 2019, my blog got hacked and I lost all my work. This is me reposting the written chapters of The Royal Series after crying to my husband after I lost it along with all my writing on here. Enjoy. x

It had been long since you had let your hair down for a night.

You longed for a lowkey life, although you knew that the royal protocols you had been following since you were a child were far too embedded in you – yet, you knew how to have your fun.

You found fun in your trips to get milk and cheese yourself, in the strolls you went on in the early morning, when you attended a friend’s wedding, when your oldest brother wasn’t Prince William who was close in line, but a protective brother whom you teased for being old, when your ginger brother, Harry, patted you on the back and helped you with the plans that would make your grandma, the Queen, not necessarily pleased, when you danced with your best friend, and,

when you listened to music; which explained where you were that moment.

The arena was lit, some people who passed by you walking past you without a care, probably thinking that a princess in a Harry Styles concert in Los Angeles was too far-fetched, while others stood stunned.

In your defence, you looked unsuspicious in your black merch hoodie and black jeans, your best friend, Farrah – whom you met at university –, beside you in a casual attire as well, but the two bulky men walking behind you and close in black suits and wireless earbuds did little to conceal you.

Reaching your seats, you grinned at your best friend as you sat. From your peripheral, you saw your two private guards looking around, standing in the aisle beside Farrah’s seat.

“Hey,” you grabbed their attention, pointing with your thumb behind your back at the empty seats, “Would you please sit?”

“Your Highness w-”

"Please, it's a command. Sit here, enjoy the show." You told the two guards who intently looked at you before giving a reluctant nod.

In your balcony seat, your eyes then fell on the stage in anticipation.

"Your Highness," You heard someone beside you, making you look.

A brunet man, no older than 32, stood with a polite and kind smile.

You smiled. "Are you Jeffery?" He nodded, beginning to politely bow his head a tad. You offered your hand with a wide grin, "Thank you for giving me seats in such a short notice, I’m really sorry for any inconvenience."

"Oh no, it really is a pleasure, your Highness." Jeff tipped is head.

"Just Y/N." You smiled, glancing at the stage as the opening act were saying their goodbyes. "He's coming out now, isn't he?"

"Yeah, yeah, he is. Have you been a fan for long?" Jeff asked as you both stood alongside each other, looking at the stage.

"Quite long actually. Since One Direction," You giggled, shrugging, "Always wanted to attend one of their concerts but only now have I been able to do so. Harry has a lovely voice. I have the album on a lot." You laughed, letting Jeff in on your secret, “But hey, keep that between us.” You joked.

Jeff chuckled, "Who would've guessed that the Princess of the United Kingdom is a Harry Styles fan?"

“Trust me, you’d be surprised.” Farrah said, joining in as the three of you laughed.

“I’ll be right there with the rest of the crew,” Jeff pointed at a different place where people from the crew stood, almost all of them looking at you. At you looking at them, they all turned in embarrassment which made you chuckle to yourself before looking at Jeff who had a bashful smile, “Sorry about that. It’s exciting.”

“It’s exciting for me, too.” You assured him.

“Well, please call me or have anyone to do so if you need anything, your H-” you gave him a look, “Y/N.”

“Thank you, Jeffrey.”

“No problem, Y/N.”

The lights flickered off, your heart fluttering in excitement as you stood up, beginning to cheer with the fans.

The notes of Ever Since New York started playing before the lights were on, making you finally see the man you had flown out to see.

In a blue floral suit, Harry stood with his guitar before he began singing, Farrah recording you as you dramatically sang along.

With every song, you and Farrah let loose; dancing together and screaming the lyrics, vibing with Harry and his band. Hell, you caught one of your guards bob his head to Only Angel before his colleague swatted his arm.

It didn't take long for more people to notice the presence of the English Princess and her famous best friend, some phones and flashes being directed your way but experiencing the excitement and utter euphoria of it all, you chose to ignore the attention.

You were captivated to say the least by his performance, posting stories to your private Instagram account, isthataladybug, of a 102 follower.

You knew that he was a cheeky person who enjoyed a nice chat, so him walking around with his mic and talking to fans wasn’t of any surprise, yet, you didn’t predict him addressing you.

"I would just like to greet someone incredibly special here tonight," Harry said through the mic as he wandered on stage before looking your way, "Hi!" He grinned, waving at you. "All well?"

With a grin and flushed cheeks, you nodded and gave him thumbs up.

With a dimpled smile, Harry tipped his head and gave you a curtesy which sent everyone in a frenzy and you and Farrah to laugh.

Farrah nudged you, making you turn to look at her. "We're meeting him, right?"

You shrugged, "Jeff said we will. Said Harry would have his head if we didn’t.”

To say you were disappointed when Harry said his goodbyes after finishing the setlist would be an understatement, although the fact that you were meeting him seemed to brighten you up a tad.

Backstage was chaotic.

Everyone was running around, wanting to be on their best behaviours and look like it for when the Princess came in, every person telling the other that Jeff was on his way to get you and your best friend and that in just a few, they would be seeing the Princess of the United Kingdom in the flesh.

Harry was no better, pacing around the room, making sure he looked decent and collected. Running his fingers through his hair, he turned to look at his band, “How do I look?”

“Like you’re not going to pass out in any second.” Sarah said sarcastically.

"Fuck, I'm so nervous." Harry laughed, wiping his sweaty palms on his suit trousers.

"So am I. Who would've thought that I'm going to meet the Princess of the United Kingdom? Someone better film this." Clare said before letting out a breath as the band stood in the dressing room.

"I-" Adam was cut off by a knock on the door.

They looked at each other with wide eyes before Harry cleared his throat, standing straighter. "Come in!"

Jeff came inside first, his figure hiding yours before he walked further inside and you and Farrah were then seen. The grin on your face was contagious.

Lined, with Harry at the end, you began to shake hands with the band.

"You were absolutely amazing!" You said as you shook their hands, one by one before reaching Harry.

Neither of you knew that the other was about to pass out from the nerves and excitement as you both smiled at each other.

"Thank you for the show. You're as good live as the studio version, if not better." You said.

Blushing at the comment, Harry softly shook your hand. "It's my honour, your Highness."

"Y/N," you corrected him, your hand still in his. "Just Y/N."

"Y/N," Harry repeated with a charming smile. "An honour, Y/N."

Being this close to him, you noticed how emerald Harry's eyes were. Raspberry pink lips and blushing cheeks, he was a sight for sore eyes.

It was cliché, anyone from the outside would say so, but have a 23-year-old Princess meet a 23-year-old artist whom she had been listening to for years and try not to make it cliché; hell, cliché or not, it was a meeting for the stories.

Farrah clearing her throat was what brought you out of your trance, making you remove your hand from Harry's.

"Well, we were actually going out for a drink if you want to join? Is that okay for you?" Sarah asked, “Oh my God, I just asked the Princess to grab a drink with us, I’m so sorry, your Highness.”

“Hey, no, no,” you quickly shook your head, “It’s fine,” you glanced at the guards and your best friend who gave you a nod, "I’d love to join if you’re all okay with Farrah and I joining. We wouldn’t want to interrupt any band-bonding time."

"Of course!" Harry grinned. "We're more than okay."

Telling you the lowkey bar – that served “amazing fries and boneless chicken wings” as Adam said – they were driving to, you exchanged “see you later’s” before you separated ways.

Right as you sat in the car, Farrah turned to face you, “What was that?”

In confusion, you looked at her, “What was what?”

“You and Harry fucking Styles! What was that?” She laughed excitedly, “Please make it happen.”

“Make what happen? You’re a lunatic!”

“You just pulled a Nicholas Sparks back there; ogling at each other, holding hands like yes, Mr. Darcy, I’d let you wed me.” She said dramatically, putting the back of her hand against her forehead.

“First of all, never do this again,” you cringed jokingly, “Second of all, what’s wrong with you? I have a conversation with a lad and suddenly I should get married to him?”

“He’s not just any lad, don’t discredit him like that.”

“Why don’t you go out with him then, Miss Farrah?” You teased her.

“Because I’m Muslim and it won’t work out, you know with our fa-”

“I was kidding.”

“I wasn’t when I said you pulled a Nicholas Sparks.”

“I should’ve brought Emma instead of you.” You let out a sigh.

“Imagine if she could’ve joined though. It would’ve been Emma and I against you.” Farrah poked your arm.

“You’re unbelievable.”

Arriving at the bar, you and Farrah entered, finding that it wasn’t at all crowded but quite the opposite. Very few people were inside, all seeming to mind their business as they ate and drank, a jukebox playing music to add to the atmosphere of the place.

Among the people, your eyes fell on the band you were meeting, Harry instantly standing and waving at you with a grin.

They had left you seats, although you knew your guards were going to stand as your shadows.

Sitting on the opposite seat from Harry, you were seated beside Sarah, the “discreet” excited expression she gave to Mitch not going unnoticed but you only smiled to yourself instead of commenting.

“This was your second show, wasn’t it?” You asked, all of them nodding and replying with confirmation, “Any idea what this tour will have for you?”

“So many headaches,” Hélène replied in her French accent with a chuckle, “So, so many headaches.”

“Brighten up,” Clare nudged the photographer jokingly, “It’s only the second night.”

“I feel like this tour would be a milestone in all of our lives,” Adam replied, seeming to avoid eye contact with you before he looked at his bandmates, “Literally all of us.”

“A-Are you okay?” Farrah asked him, causing Adam’s posture to relax as he laughed.

“I just don’t know if I should look at you,” he said as he looked at you, “What if it’s disrespectful? Illegal?”

“Oh my God, no,” you laughed as you shook your head, “I’m sitting at a bar in Los Angeles with you, Adam, that’s not exactly a Trooping the Colour.”

“When we first heard you were attending,” Harry began, “We all just sort of,” his eyes widened before he laughed, “You know what?” He turned to look at Adam, “That’s a milestone right there.”

“You speak too highly of me,” you rolled your eyes jokingly, “What about all of you? That album, tonight, you should give yourself more credit.”

“Makes sense that people love you so much.” Mitch said with a small smile.

“Not everyone loves her, excuse you,” Farrah joked, raising her hand up.

“Ah, bullshit.” You rolled your eyes, “You love me the most.”

“No?”

“That’s denial.”

Conversations seemed to flow naturally among everyone at the table, laughter being heard as well as a few claps from how hard one of you would be laughing.

It wasn’t until you realised that you hadn’t drank anything that you stood up, “I’m going to grab something to drink. Does anyone want anything?”

A chorus of “thank you’s” was heard, you fully knowing that they probably hadn’t bothered to even ask you to get them anything because of your title.

“I’ll bring these fries and wings for all of us you told me about.” You pointed at Adam.

“I’ll join you.” Harry said, standing from his place and approaching you before the both of you walked towards the bar.

“Sorry if they make you uncomfortable.” You mumbled to Harry as you both sat on stools.

“Who?”

“Sid and Andrew, the guards,” you replied, “They’re the sweetest actually.” You smiled at the men who stood at a safe distance away from you but nearby, both of them tipping their heads at you before they began looking around.

“No, of course not,” Harry shook his head, “I thought you’d have more with you honestly.”

You waved off, “No, two are enough. Daddy wanted me to walk around with 6 but,” you laughed, “God, no.”

Harry smiled before his smile turned into a smirk, “Did you just say Daddy?”

“Ye-Gross, stop! That’s my father!” You groaned, stuffing your face in your hands as Harry laughed, “How old are you, Styles? 14?”

“And a half actually.”

“Ha, ha.” You tried to stifle your smile as you looked up at him, “It’s Mummy and Daddy for us, excuse you.”

“It’s cute.” Harry smiled timidly.

“It was until you commented.” You teased him, giving him a shrug.

“I apologise, your Highness. Please, don’t behead me.” Dramatically, Harry put a hand to his heart.

“I’ll think about it.” You put both hands on the counter gracefully, placing one above the other as you turned away from him before the both of you laughed.

Neither of you had noticed that you hadn’t ordered yet, only remembering when the bartender came over to take your order.

After ordering, you were both quiet, listening to the music that sounded in the place, you swaying slightly in your seat as you looked around.

"Are you not scared?"

You turned to look at Harry, “Excuse me?”

“Are you not scared?” He repeated.

"Of what?” You asked.

"Being seen in here. The rumours. I mean my rumours I can take care of but royal rumours?" Harry shrugged.

“Why? Are you scared?” The tiny smirk that was your lips were drawn into didn’t go unnoticed by Harry, feeling his lips lift into one of his own just at the sight of yours.

Harry took a moment to drink you up; the vibe you gave off was nothing he imagined. The dainty, soft princess he saw on the screen ever since he was young wasn't who sat in front of him.

In front of him was a confident woman, fearless and ready to seize whatever risk thrown at her. A woman who refused to have her identity shaped up and formed by her family and what the world was trying to limit her to, all for a title.

That's why with a thumping heart and an amused smile, Harry replied; "No, Princess. I'm not scared."

[bubblesuga]

Special-Tea

Summary: Yoongi’s always been a coffee man. When stuck at the studio in the early hours of the morning, he craves caffeine. The only problem with that is there’s no coffee shops open at three in the morning. So, he finds himself at the next best thing, a 24 hour tea shop where he finds you. 

Warnings: cussing, smut, shower sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (f receiving)

W/C: 4,798

It’s too early for this. 

Or maybe it’s too late. 

Yoongi isn’t sure. In fact, he’s pretty sure his clock stopped working three hours ago. Unless the last few minutes have felt like hours, then Yoongi was on the verge of tearing every piece of equipment from the wall and smashing it into a million pieces. 

Yoongi’s been working on this album for far too long. His fingers are cramped from continuously playing the same three notes over and over just hoping and praying that something will come to him. He’s confused more than anything. Before he had no problem spitting out 2 or 3 songs in a day, recording demos and having the studio ready to record for the other members the following day. 

Lately, however, he’s lucky if he can even get a concept for a song down. It’s like his mind has been clouded over with writers block and he’s not getting anywhere. Like someone sucked his ability to compose music right from his brain with a straw. 

He tosses the pen he had been anxiously tapping on the desk into his bag, along with his notebook, and he stands abruptly. 

Scoffing at his phone, he glares at the black 4:37 on the screen while the elevator in the BigHit offices slides downward. There’s no coffee shops open yet, there has to be something though. He just needs caffeine, though he could really go for an iced americano with- 

“Special-tea...?” He raises an eyebrow at his phone, Google holding up options for the nearest place selling caffeinated beverages. Rolling his eyes, he begins the short journey to the one 24 hour shop within a five mile radius. 

What kind of a name is ‘Special-tea’? Who sat in an office and thought, ‘ah you know what? Let’s name a tea shop but make it punny.’

“Stupid.” He grumbles to himself. He’s well aware that he’s far too tired to be having human interaction right now but he needs to get some progress done. At this point he’ll take a ghost of a song. 

Stepping into the tea shop, he’s overwhelmed by the smell of flowers. Undeniably strong, he takes a moment to collect his thoughts before stepping all the way in. As the door chimes, he hears a gasp and a patter of foot steps.

“Welcome to Special-tea! How are you doing today?” 

The voice is loud, echoing off of the various shelves scattered around the shop with loose tea for sale. He whips his head towards the register, spotting you. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” He didn’t realize how sore his voice was from attempting to record backing vocals earlier in the day, but it came out gruff and quiet. A stark contrast to the bubbly barista in front of him, her nose dusted in flour and a messy apron protecting her clothes. Well, attempting at least, because Yoongi has to hold back a smile when he notices hand prints of flour on your backside. 

“What can I get you this morning?” you question, leaning over the counter and causing Yoongi to blush when he notices the way you’re smiling. When you meet his eyes, Yoongi can tell you recognize him. For a moment he feels the need to brace himself, but soon realizes you’re calm. 

Yoongi returns a smile, haphazardly running his fingers through his hair. “Dumb question, but do you guys sell coffee?” 

“Coffee? No, but we do sell black earl grey. I’m told that’s a close comparison as far as bitterness goes,” You explain, turning to the shelf behind you and pulling out a bag of tea, “you’re welcome to smell it if you like.” 

He raises an eyebrow, leaning forward and sniffing the bag. He backs away quickly and watches you bite your lip to stifle a laugh, “It’s not exactly a new tea drinker’s type of tea.” 

“I’m not really a new tea drinker,” he grumbles, wiping his nose, “I’m a tea drinker only in times of desperation.” 

She smiles again, “What causes said desperation?” 

Yoongi rolls his neck, “I’m trying to write another song. Get the ball rolling to finishing up an album.” 

“BE, right? I’ve heard good things about the process,” you say softly, surprising Yoongi by your admission to being a fan, “I figured it would be finished already?” 

His eyes stay trained on you as you turn back to the shelves, rummaging through various boxes of tea. It takes him a moment to realize what your question was, so he sucks in a breath, “Ah, yeah. It’s nearly there, we just need one more track because one of them got trashed.” 

Why is he revealing so much to a stranger? Namjoon is going to kill him. 

“Trashed? Why’s that?” 

“We realized the song itself didn’t follow any of the messages we wanted to put out there.” 

Damn it, Yoongi. Stop talking. 

You finally stop rummaging and pull out a bag of tea without showing Yoongi. He tries to catch a glimpse but instead watches as you boil more water and begin steeping the tea. 

“What kind of message did it have?” You ask, leaning backward against the counter and crossing your arms. Having expected a follow up question, Yoongi swiftly dismisses it, “What kind of tea are you making?” 

“The kind you drink.” You smirk. 

He lowers his gaze at you, “It’s kind of your job to tell the customer what they’re getting.” 

You laugh, “Alright. Jasmine green tea. It’s subtle enough that it won’t get your coffee loving tongue in a twist, and has enough caffeine to keep you up to finish whatever you’re working on.” 

Yoongi is happy with this response, taking the time to lean away from the counter and gaze around the shop. It’s small, something he’s definitely not used to from coffee shops. The earthy smells from earlier have dwindled down to a nice summery scent, lavender filling his nose the closer he got to the register. 

As much as he tried to keep his eyes away from the cute girl behind the counter, he couldn’t help but turn back and watch you as you organize various things. Something about the way your hair slips from the messy bun it’s in and your charismatic way of helping him while also providing a sense of normalcy drew him in in a way he has never experienced before. 

“Order up, Suga.” 

He shakes his head from his gaze, walking back up to the counter and pulling out his wallet. 

“On me,” you say, “besides... don’t want to make you pay for something you may not like.” 

Yoongi nods, murmuring a small ‘thank you’ and bringing the cup up to his mouth. 

Without missing a beat, he reaches for his wallet and pulls out a 10000 won bill, stuffing it in the tip jar. He gives you a small smile, thanking you again as he turns towards the door. 

“Wait!” you call, “What do you think?”

Yoongi raises his hand up just before he walks out of the door, “It’s delicious!” 

The smile on your face was worth Yoongi’s little white lie. 

~*~*~

“Alright, this is great! We’ll record tomorrow, yeah?” Seokjin speaks for the entire group as Yoongi plays them the demo of the song he was finally able to right. There were a few jabs here and there about the auto tune Yoongi likes to utilize, but other than that it was well received. 

The only person he could think was you, though, because if he hadn’t have tasted that tea he would have never thought of writing what he did. 

“How did you manage to spit out something like this in a night?” Jungkook teases, patting Yoongi’s shoulder softly. 

“What do you mean?” Yoongi chuckles, clicking sound files around and creating a copy of his demo.

Jungkook grins, “Who’s the girl that made you think of that?” 

“No girl,” he defends, “a good writer doesn’t need actual experiences. All from the imagination, young Jungkookie.” 

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure that’s not the case at all.” 

Yoongi shushes him, saving his project one more time before deciding to kick everyone out and lock the studio. 

Of course they’re going to find out eventually what happened. Especially since Park Jimin follows Yoongi to the elevator. Once they’re the only ones inside, Jimin turns to his Hyung, “Tell me about the girl.” 

Yoongi, knowing that no one else could read him better than Jimin, sighs in defeat. “She’s gorgeous. Her nose had flour on it, her hair was messy, and she was everything that I’m not used to. She has a smirk- god the way she smiles- it just makes me melt for her.”

Jimin seems pleased with this answer, “and you’re going to see her now?” 

“Yep.” 

The bell above his head is a welcoming sound. This time you’re not waiting in the back. Instead, you’re counting money at the register as he enters. This time you wore a purple apron, and it’s clean compared to a couple of days ago. You still haven’t looked up, so Yoongi walks slowly up to the counter and taps his fingers twice. 

“Ah- Yoongi! Good evening, what can I get you started today?” 

“The same as last time, please.” Yoongi grins, watching you carefully as you nod at him and turn on your heel and kick on the kettle. The way the straps of the apron tie right above the curve of your back has Yoongi’s mind beginning to wander. It’s been years since he even thought of looking at a woman like this in person, but for some reason when it comes to you he just can’t stop. 

“So,” you break the silence, “how did that song writing go?”

“Oh,” his cheeks are a rosy pink, “it went well. I showed the other members the demo and we’re recording it tomorrow.” 

“I can’t wait to hear it.” You grin, pouring the water over the tea bags. Yoongi thanks you quietly and pulls out his wallet once more. You shake your head, “Nope. Your last tip was enough to cover your next 3 drinks.” 

Yoongi nods, “Oh okay.” but then ignores you, slipping another 10000 won bill into the tip jar. Just as you’re about to open your mouth in protest, Yoongi sends you a wink and salutes on his way out before he closes the door behind him. 

~*~*~

Your alarm is too loud. 

It’s like a banshee screeching in your ear, like a baby crying, like a rooster crowing. You groaned loudly at the sound and threw your hand on top of it, rolling out of bed to drag yourself to the shower. 

It’s been a few weeks since Yoongi became a regular to your work. The initial star struck feeling you got when you were around him had dwindled away, and now you feel you can call him a friend. 

Your routine was as follows: Yoongi enters the shop, you make him his drink, and he stays and distracts you for a while. Much against everything you stand for, you drop everything to talk to him. It causes you to have to move much faster than usual on your prep work but you didn’t mind, because you loved seeing the way Yoongi would laugh at your jokes. 

You feel like you know the man beyond the idol. The person who hides under the shadow of a stoic demeanor is bright. The way you perceived him prior to actually knowing him was wrong. He is, without a single doubt in your mind, the most interesting man on the planet. 

When you arrived at work, your evening worker is already willing to go. 

“I counted the safe and there’s some money missing. If Summer asks, it wasn’t me.” Flora says, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Okay,” you raise an eyebrow, walking towards the back, “any orders?” 

“Uh, yeah!” you hear her call, “chocolate covered strawberries for 6!” 

“Awesome-- thank you!” You call back just as the door dings and Flora exits the store. You take a moment to walk through the kitchen to make sure everything is set up and then you pull your apron over your head. 

The doorbell dings and you can’t help the smile that stretches across your face. 

“What’ll it be today, Mr. Min?” You still stand in the back, glancing in the mirror to make sure you look your best. 

“Honey butter croissant,” he yells back, “how did you know it was me?” 

When you’re happy with your look, you finally walk to the front and smile, “So we’re changing it up today, are you okay? You sick or something?” 

“I just wanted something new,” Yoongi looks different today. He’s dressed in a cream cardigan and black jeans, the usual rose tint to his cheeks is a bit stronger today. 

“Okay, I’ll have to bake some new ones. It’ll take about 20 minutes if you’re willing to wait.” You explain, with an unsure smile. 

Yoongi looks around for a moment, “Ugh, I guess I can wait.” 

“Awesome,” you speak, “I’ll be back in a moment.” 

As you walk towards the back, Yoongi listens carefully to you humming along to a song that’s been stuck in your head for days. You pull out a couple of fresh croissants and prep a baking sheet. Sticking it into the oven, you brush the flour from your hands onto your apron and walk back to the front. 

Yoongi jumps up from his phone when he notices you standing in front of him. This is the closest you’ve ever been to him, the freckles across your nose easing him into a sense of comfort. “Do you plan on telling me why you kept ordering a drink you hate?” 

Yoongi’s eyes widen, “Now why on Earth would you think that I hate it?” 

“Welp,” you laugh, “you’re usually my only customer at night, and every morning I would check the outside garbage to see if it needed to be changed, yet the only thing I would find is a full cup of tea, with your name on it.” 

For a moment, Yoongi was silent. He stumbles over his thoughts in an attempt to come up with some type of excuse. Something to hide why he had been coming here all this time. Yet, he couldn’t. So instead he looks up from his chair and smirks, “How else was I supposed to talk to the pretty girl at the tea shop?” 

You swallow, your mind racing a million miles a second. Before you have the chance to respond, he stands. His body is close, and he smells so good. His cologne is expensive, herbal and earthy, and it makes you want to bury your nose into his neck and inhale. His eyes, the usual dark brown has turned into honey, drawing you in and keeping you there. 

“You could have asked me on a date, we could have gone from there.” You shrug, feeling Yoongi’s calloused hand gently push away a stray hair behind your ear. He doesn’t move it afterwards, though, instead his thumb finds home on your cheekbone, stroking gently. His face has shifted, and he laughs. Almost bitterly, causing your heart to sink. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested in the types of dates I get. You see,” his other hand slithers around your waist, “we get long walks in the park but we have to wear a mask and a hat. We get picnics by streams late enough at night that we know no one will be around. Sometimes we can slip away to another country where we pray that no one recognizes us, but with my schedule that thought is laughable at best.” 

“What if I like long walks in the park with masks and late night picnics?” You breath, the look in your eyes stirring Yoongi’s heart. 

“Then I guess we’d have to give it a shot, wouldn’t we?” He whispers. Your eyes flutter from his eyes to his lips, silently begging him to close the gap. You could sense his hesitancy, though. It blossoms from his chest and heats up his entire body but for some reason he’s frozen, completely still. He’s fighting, urging himself to lean forward and kiss you but he can’t move. 

Good news for him, though, because you take a moment to lean up and press your lips against his softly. It’s gentle, easing him into the feeling of you so close to him. His lips taste of mint chocolate, causing you to smile into the kiss. It takes a moment, and for a second you’re hoping that you didn’t read the situation wrong until finally, he kisses back. It’s eager, introducing his tongue to yours and grinning idly into the kiss. 

You allow him to back you up against the counter, boxing you in and surrounding you completely. His hands move down and pull your hips close to his, feeling the strain of his cock against his jeans. 

“We’re entering dangerous territory here, baby.” Yoongi speaks, pulling away just a little bit. His eyes stay closed and his breath is hot on your face. 

“How so?” You whisper, afraid of the answer but also intrigued. He doesn’t respond, instead capturing your lips and breaking the kiss repeatedly. Your fingertips dig into his shoulders and he smiles at the knowledge that you’re enjoying this just as much as he is. 

A groan fills the air when you finally buck your hips towards him. In a feverish attempt to feel more, you wrap your legs around his waist and hang from his shoulders. Just as you’re about to slip your hand between your bodies, the timer on the oven blares through the building, shattering the small walls you built around the two of you. 

“Fuck--” you gently pull away, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back in a moment.” 

Quickly, you slip off the counter and rush to the oven. You pull out the croissants and douse them in honey butter from the fridge. You watch the butter melt for a moment, collecting your thoughts.

Did that just happen? Did that actually hap-

When you walk back out, Yoongi’s hands are clasped behind his back. He mutters a small thank you as you hand him the plate. He rips off a corner of the pastry, and pops it into his mouth. 

There’s a beat of silence. One-- two-- then he speaks. 

“It’s delicious.” 

“Thank you, I work hard on them.” 

~*~*~

“And you just left her?!” 

Oh god. Yoongi has never seen Jimin so angry before. The small man can yell louder than ever imagined, and Yoongi would be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared. 

A mere 30 hours ago, Yoongi had his tongue buried in your mouth and he was the happiest man on the planet. Then it changed quickly once he realized what exactly this could entail. Even though he wanted nothing more than to bend you over the dough table and take you roughly while you scream his name, he couldn’t help but over think. 

Standing in Jimin’s living room, he expected to be comforted and given some nice advice from his friend. Instead he’s learning that he pulled a bad move.

“You’re supposed to be giving me advice, not yelling at me!” Yoongi yells back, gesturing his hands wildly. Even though he’s scared, he can’t help but defend himself to a certain extent. 

“Hyung, I thought you’d have enough intelligence not to kiss her and run!” 

Yoongi groans and drops onto the couch, his face falling into his hands, “The things I was feeling scared me.” 

“Oh my god, go to the tea shop!” 

~*~*~

Yoongi spots a customer at the register. He opens the door quietly, the break of dawn just behind the mountains. This was different to Yoongi’s usual time and you know that, your eyes going wide in surprise while you finish ringing up the last customer. 

Once Yoongi hears the heels clack against the tile and the door open, he rounds the shelf and walks up to you. 

“I’m sorry I left so quickly yesterday. I just- I got scared. I wasn’t sure how to approach the situation but after thinking over it I realized that I really need you to kiss me again,” Yoongi speaks fast, quicker than you’ve heard him before and it takes a moment for the words to settle in your mind, “I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

You breathe out a laugh, leaning forward and pressing your lips to his again. This time it’s slow and soft, different but Yoongi loves every second of it. The minute you kiss him, you taste coffee. You hold back another laugh, pulling away with mock hurt, “You cheated.” 

Yoongi brows furrow, “I don’t follow.” 

“You drink coffee and then come try to sweep tea shop girl off her feet? Cheater!” You tease, putting your hand on your chest as though you’re in pain. 

Yoongi grins, “You’re crazy. I would never drink coffee, not when I can taste you. You’re probably going to have to kiss me to make sure.” 

You gnaw your lip, leaning upward and pressing a kiss to him again. He giggles against your lips, a sound that you will never get sick of. You pull away much to both of your dismay, “Let me take you back to my apartment. It’s small but it’s big enough for the two of us.” 

He agrees instantly. 

Yoongi waits in the car while your relief shows up and you clean up. He taps his feet against the pedals anxiously, the thought of what could happen exciting him. You have clouded his mind for a weeks now and as you skip out of the building and hop into Yoongi’s passenger seat, he can’t wait to get his hands on you. 

He follows your directions, his hand resting on your thigh as he tries not to speed. When he pulls into the parking lot, you lead him up the stairs to your apartment. 

Nervously, you toss your bag onto the couch, “It’s not much. . . but it works for me.” 

Yoongi grins, “It’s quaint. Cute.” He reaches forward and wraps his arms around you in a back hug. You welcome it, craning your neck to kiss him. 

“I need a shower. Join me?”

Yoongi nods, “Yes please.” 

There’s a thumb in your chest louder than you’ve ever felt before. This is actually happening. Min Yoongi, is being lead to your bathroom and you’re about to shower with him. 

Yoongi doesn’t waste much time once the door is shut behind you. He latches his lips onto your neck, tugging at the hem of your shirt and easing it over your head. 

“I want to make sure you want this as much as I do.” Yoongi says breathlessly as he catches a glimpse of your bare chest. You don’t respond verbally, but you look him directly in the eye as you slip your pants and panties off in one swoop. 

You stand in the shower, turning on the water and peaking your head behind the curtain, “What’s taking you so long?” 

Yoongi moves fast as he tears off his own clothing, and you close the curtain so you don’t spot his body too quickly. Building suspense for yourself, you wet your hair under the warm water and feel your muscles relax after your long day of work. Although your eyes are closed, your ears are trained on Yoongi. He steps behind you, continuing his assault on your neck. 

You sigh happily, but everything changes the minute Yoongi opens his mouth. 

“Spread your legs, baby. I’ll hold you up.” 

Instantly you feel your cunt clenching around nothing (unfortunately). You immediately allow Yoongi to guide your leg to the edge of the tub. He slides a finger in between your folds, collecting your wetness all while his lips trail kisses across your chest. 

Finally you allow yourself to open your eyes, gasping at the image in front of you. Yoongi’s body is as rosy as his cheeks, his knees on the bottom of the floor and his face level with your heat. 

“Ah, now you open your eyes.” He smirks, and doesn’t give you much warning as he licks a long stripe from your heat to your clit. You instantly moan, tossing your head back and bracing yourself against the wall of the shower. 

He moves ruthlessly, consuming you like a starved man. The feeling of him against you doesn’t compare to the imagine in front of you. His fingers reach between your folds and pump in and out of you while he continues to nip and suck mercilessly at your clit. He looks up at you through his lashes, and you swear you feel him smirk against you as he speeds up his thrusts and sucks as hard as he can. 

“You look so good like this,” you moan, “your tongue feels so good.” 

Yoongi pulls away to let out a groan, “Fuck.” His chest is heaving and he reaches a hand down to squeeze his shaft for a moment of relief, then he stands. 

“Think you can hold your leg up for a moment, baby?” Yoongi instructs, laying a kiss on your forehead as you spot his hand pumping himself a few more times. You nod silently, allowing yourself to relish in his glistening skin as he runs the head of his cock over your slit. You appreciate his concern, and you know he’s going to take care of you after he’s finished ruining you. You couldn’t be more excited as Yoongi’s cock continues to slip over you. 

For a moment you feel him enter, both of you gasping at the contact but just as quickly as he enters, he slips out. 

“No,” you shake your head, “please no teasing. Fuck me.” 

Yoongi gives you a devilish grin, his hand holding up your thigh once again as he finally begins to push into you. He takes pleasure in the way that your lips part with every inch that he pushes in. Yoongi was proud of his size, and your reaction further fuels his ego. Finally, he bottoms out and you’re rewarded with being filled to the hilt with nothing but Yoongi. 

He moans your name in your air after you adjust to his size, beginning to thrust faster. “So... tight. Fuck.” He sinks his teeth into your collarbone, relishing in the feeling of your nails scratching into his back. He can’t bare to leave your cunt for more than a few seconds, because the way you clench tightly around him was the closest thing to Heaven on Earth that he’s ever experienced. Every one of his thrusts is meant with a rewarding moan from you, your juices coating his cock more and more and fueling his pleasure. 

“Ah,” you moan, “Yoongi. So good.” Your brain was absolute mush. You couldn’t think of anything else but him. 

“So good at taking my cock,” he laughs breathlessly, “I can’t believe how well you’re doing.” 

You surrender yourself completely to Yoongi at his words, his encouragement pushing you closer to the edge. “I’m close.” 

“Good girl, cum for me. Cream on my cock.” Yoongi praises, kissing your lips tenderly as you feel yourself clench tightly around him. White hot electric shocks rush through your body, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

He breaks the kiss with a bite to your bottom lip, “Take my cum. Take it- fuck fuck-” Yoongi’s cut off by his orgasm taking over, and you open just in time to see his jaw drop as he rides out both of your orgasms with increasingly slow thrusts until finally, he slips out, the feeling of his release dripping down your thighs. 

He rests his forehead against yours, suddenly hyper aware of the water dripping down your bodies.

You lower your legs onto the floor, Yoongi holding you up while you struggle to regain your balance. The two of you giggle, sharing kisses for a moment as you both work off the pleasure. 

You reach behind Yoongi, squeezing shampoo into your hands and massaging it through your scalp as Yoongi takes your soap across your body. It’s such a simple move, but even though you’ve already had sex he still is taking the time to take care of you. It’s endearing, and it fills you with hope for something more with Yoongi. 

As you both finish the shower, you step out of the bath tub and reach for a towel. 

“Oh, by the way, Yoongi?” You say as he runs a brush through your hair. You bite your lip to hold back a giggle as he stops, “Yes baby?” 

“I still tasted coffee.” 

Yoongi laughs, “God damn it.” 

[lost-in-the-80s]

Winter Memories pt. 2

Pairing: Axl Rose x reader

Words: 3,156k

Summary: The pressure of making a new album is finally hitting Axl. To get rid of some stress he decides to take a trip to Norway, however, he did not expect to meet a mysterious woman there.  (smut + fluff)

A/N: I am back with part two!! Let me know if you liked it! Sorry it took me so long! There will be some lines in norwegian again, the translations will be below in italics.

Warnings: Mature content, swearing and unprotected sex. (Use a condom, guys!) ​​

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car​​ @ladieswttda​ @teasid​ @metalheartofgold​ @slashscowboyboots​ @ginny-rose-sixx​  @rumoured-whispers​ @normatural​ add yourself to my tag list :)

Tagging who showed interest for a second part: @sugwinter​​ @vinylvintage​​ @fosterchild-3203​ @littlemisscare-all​​ @ultrabithc​

Part 1

A year passed after that weekend. December arrived and Y/N got ready to spend another weekend at Anna's cottage.

As she packed her bags, she couldn't stop thinking about Axl, the mysterious redhead she had met the year before. He never left her mind, not even for a day.

But finding him would be impossible, so she ignored her heart's pleas that begged her to go to the United States to look for him. Her best chance was to hope he was in the cottage.

During the flight to the mountains, anxiety washed over her body. It was the longest two hours of her life. Her stomach was full of butterflies, as the memories of that night filled her mind.

Taking a taxi she asked the driver three times to go faster, ignoring the fact that the track was slippery with snow.

As soon as she reached the cottage she strode toward the front door, hoping to see him already waiting for her. But he wasn’t there.

After asking Anna she was sure, he wouldn’t come. His name wasn’t on the schedule list, nor had been since that weekend in December.

Han må ha gått videre med livet sitt, og du fortsetter å tenke på ham. She thought to herself.

He must have gone on with his life and you silly keep thinking about him.

Y/N tried to stick to her routine schedule, but spending twenty minutes on a bus to go skiing seemed too tiring. So she spent the entire Friday in her room, reading and whining about her life.

The next morning she woke up late and walked slowly down the steps. She had decided to have breakfast and go back to the airport, catch a flight to Oslo and try to forget all of that. Staying at the cottage brought too many memories to her mind.

“God morgen, Anna” She said calmly.

"Good morning, Anna."

“God morgen Y/N" The lady replied smiling.

"Good morning, Y/N."

Looking at all the breakfast options, she just couldn't feel hungry, so she took a big mug of coffee and sat at a table, sighing when she realized she had sat at the same table he was at the previous year.

After a few minutes, Anna came over, pulling the chair across from her to sit down.

"Hva skjer, Y/N?" The lady asked, touching the younger woman’s hand on top of the table.

"What's going on Y/N?"

“Det er ingenting, Anna, du trenger ikke å bekymre deg.” She gave a weak smile.

"It's nothing, Anna, you don't have to worry."

"Det er ikke gutten?"

"It's that boy, isn't it?"

Y/N looked out the window, avoiding the lady's gaze.

"Han så veldig trist ut dagen han reiste."

"He looked really sad the day he left."

She looked at the lady, seeing compassion in her eyes.

“Ikke bekymre deg, Anna. Jeg klarer meg. ” She smiled, trying to look convincing.

"Don't worry, Anna, I'll be fine."

----

During the next two years, she improved. She focused on work and was able to be distracted from her own thoughts.

She had a few boyfriends during that time, but she couldn't help comparing them to the redhead, and given his color and brilliance, all the others became gray and opaque.

During the nights, his face appeared in her dreams, they were always together and happy and she hated waking up every day and knowing that it would never go beyond that, a dream.

Sometimes she could even go a week without thinking about him, but then something simple reminded her again. Like when she wore the sweater she was wearing that night.

She felt stupid, it was ridiculous to feel that way after so long, especially for someone she only met for a weekend. But every time a rock song played on the radio, she remembered him.

He had said he worked with rock and she always wondered what he meant by that. Was he a band manager? Or was he a member of one of the bands that had already crossed her ears? She would never know and maybe it was for the best.

"Y/N!"

The sound of her name made her look up from the papers she was signing.

It was Hanna. She had moved from the United States to Norway the previous year, working in the office's accounting. The two became close very fast and today they were best friends.

"Hanna..." She looked up smiling.

“Guns n Roses will be playing here in June!! I can't believe it, I thought I would never see them live again! ” She gave little leaps of joy.

"Hmm that’s great, I'm happy for you," Y/N said, smiling at the girl one more time before going back to work. She didn't listen to much music so going to concerts and festivals was not quite her style.

"Come with me?" She crouched down in front of the table.

"Oh I don't know, you know I don't like these crowded places."

"Please. I don't want to go alone. ” She made puppy eyes, staring at Y/N.

"Do not look at me like that!" She pointed her index finger, but Hanna was persistent. "Ah, fine, I'll go with you!" She gave in.

"Yess!!" Hanna celebrated as she stood up doing a victory dance.

Y/N started laughing, making the girl stop.

"What's it?"

She pointed with the pen. Looking back, Hanna saw her boss shaking his head as he looked in her direction.

"Shit!" She scratched the back of her neck, sitting on the chair in front of Y/N’s table. "Do you think he's going to fire me?"

"No ... but he'll think twice before inviting you to the Christmas party this year." She giggled a little.

"Thank God..." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"What day will the concert be?" Y/N asked, going back to signing papers.

“June 10th. I'm going to buy tickets today after work, I'll bring yours tomorrow.”

Hanna looked like a child when she was happy, which always relaxed Y/N's serious mood.

"All right." She prolonged the first word, writing the day on a post-it note.

---

June 10th arrived and Hanna made sure they arrived two hours ahead to get a spot close to the stage.

Wearing denim shorts and a black T-shirt, she accompanied Hanna across the field until she reached the edge of the stage. At least she would be able to see the show up close.

The hot afternoon sun went down and a cool breeze came with the night, but Y/N's irritation didn’t fade away. The band was almost an hour late for the concert and every few minutes someone was bumping into her, making her wish she had stayed at home.

The stage lights came on and a guy with black curly hair came on stage, playing a riff that sounded wonderful to her ears.

Kanskje jeg vil glede meg over denne konserten. She thought to herself

Maybe I’ll enjoy this concert.

Soon the rest of the band members appeared and she became convinced that it would be a good show. That's until the vocalist entered the stage.

He was wearing tight white shorts and a leather jacket, his hair in a red bandana and her heart missed a beat.

Her mouth was slightly open and she put her hand on her chest, to make sure her heart was still beating.

It was him. Axl. The guy from the cottage.

He funnily ran and danced around the stage and his voice sounded so different from what she remembered. But there was no doubt, it was him.

"What's it?" Hanna screamed near her ear when she saw that her friend was not moving.

"It's him!"

"Who?"

"The guy from the cottage!"

She had told Hanna about the event, although she had never mentioned his name.

"Axl Rose??" Hanna's eyes widened, looking from Y/N to Axl and to Y/N again. "Holy shit!"

For the rest of the concert, Y/N couldn't take her eyes off of him anymore. But he hadn't noticed her. They were on the side and he spent more time in the center.

But then the guitar solo started and the same guy from the beginning took over from Axl, who started to leave the stage.

He was smiling, laughing at something and then his eyes shifted to the right and he saw her. The smile disappeared completely from his face and stopped walking.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds before he walked over to the edge, making the fans next to Y/N scream out of control.

"Good to see you." He smiled, lowering himself in front of her.

She nodded, smiling, not being able to form words.

Fans around her started trying to push her to get closer to him, the screams making it impossible for her to understand what he had said.

He could tell by her face that she didn't understand, pointing sideways with his thumb and making a sign with his fingers that meant later.

"Backstage later." He spoke again and she could read his lips, finally managing to assimilate the information.

She nodded quickly, giving him a thumbs up.

After the solo, the band played a few more songs before finishing. At every chance he got, Axl came over to her, singing while looking into her eyes, making a huge smile come over her lips.

When the show was over she pulled Hanna by the hand, heading backstage. Where a security guard at the entrance made her stop.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, Axl is waiting for me." She said with a small smile.

"Identification, please."

"She showed him the concert ticket."

"This is the common ticket, I’m sorry Y/N, but you can’t pass."

"Wait! Y/N? ” A man in a red button-down shirt appeared behind the security guard. "Are you Y/N?"

She nodded.

"Let her in, Axl wants to talk to her."

"What about this one?" He pointed to Hanna.

"She’s with me!" Y/N said, taking her friend's hand.

"Let her in too."

The security guard made room, letting the two pass.

"Come, this way." He started walking down several corridors. "I'm Doug Goldstein, by the way." He turned for half a second offering them a small smile.

"We're here," he said after almost a minute of walking.

Opening the door there was a spacious room with several couches, all the members of the band were there, except him. There were other women in the room, some on the lap of the band members.

"They are groupies." Hanna whispered in Y/N's ear.

"What is it?"

"They like rockstars, travel with bands and sleep with them."

Y/N nodded, understanding what she meant. "Lucky for them, they are very cute."

"Aren’t they?" She laughed softly.

"Hey, I saw you two at the gig!" A tall, blond guy said getting closer.

"Oh my God, Duff McKagan noticed me during the gig!" Hanna said, putting her hand on her forehead as if she was going to pass out.

Duff laughed.

"And you are?" He offered his hand for them to shake.

"My goodness!!" She gave a little squeak. "I'm Hanna and this is Y/N." She shook his hand. "I shook Duff McKagan's hand!!" She looked at Y/N. "Do you believe? Me?" Hanna pointed to herself.

Y/N and Duff laughed.

"Is she always that excited?" He asked as he shook Y/N's hand.

"She is a huge fan." She said laughing.

"I am! I am! I even have a T-shirt signed by Slash. I paid

200 bucks on it.” She said the last part with a little remorse for the money spent.

"We can get you another one, I can ask the guys to sign it for you." He smiled a little and Hanna smiled, nodding quickly.

“So you are the famous Y/N! Axl has talked about you for years! ”

Before she could answer she heard his voice saying her name.

Looking to the side, Axl was standing in the hall, wearing only his shorts while a towel was slung over his shoulder.

Det forblir varmt. She thought.

He’s still hot.

He nodded, indicating that she should follow him, so she did.

After a few steps, Axl stopped, opening a door that had his name written on it, and letting her in first. As soon as he closed the door, her lips were glued to his.

Their kiss was hot as summer rain and urgent as if they only had a few seconds to do it. Her hands touched his face, bringing him closer, while his hands infiltrated in her hair, gently pulling the strands at the top of her neck.

A small moan left her lips and he smiled during the kiss, pulling away just long enough to say, "God, how I missed that sound."

He moved his hands to her waist, starting to walk farther into the room, taking her with him.

"Axl." She sighed his name when their lips parted.

He moved away from her a few inches as he stroked her face with his right hand, the left one remaining on her waist, keeping her close.

"Fuck, you haven't changed a thing." He looked at every detail on her face, as if he wanted to memorize it.

"I missed you." She smiled, touching his face.

Axl closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of her touch.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea." He opened his eyes, kissing her again.

The kiss grew hotter and when she realized Axl's hands were on the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms, breaking and kissing and allowing him to remove the garment.

He let out a small growl in the kiss when she pulled his hair gently and he lowered his hands to her ass, squeezing her flesh before he propelled her upward.

Y/N intertwined her legs around Axl's waist and he started to move towards a sofa in the living room. He laid her down gently, removing his lips from hers just so that he could make a trail down her neck, slowly going into the valley between her breasts.

She moved her hands to her back, unclasping her bra and allowing Axl to enjoy her nipples. He took one of them to his mouth, sucking lightly by biting the skin while his fingers played with the other, causing a small moan to come out of her lips.

Y/N moved her hand towards Axl's shorts, feeling his already rigid erection over the fabric, making him moan and look her in the eyes. His gaze was filled with lust with a touch of malice, his pupils dilated.

Continuing his kisses to the south, Axl stopped at the waistband of her shorts, unbuttoning the garment and removing it from her body. His fingers caressed her core over her panties, making her gasp.

He slowly removed the last piece of clothing from her body, applying soft kisses to the extension of her leg, until the material was finally free and she was completely exposed to his gaze.

He stood up, removing his white shorts, tossing them on the floor before removing his sneakers in a hurry. He wore no underwear and the sight of his free and throbbing member made Y/N bite her lower lip while she sat down.

Axl climbed onto the couch, kissing her again. She moved her hands to his shoulders, pushing him to sit on the sofa, his back against the armrest when she climbed on his lap, making him smile mischievously.

Y/N touched his member, running its length a few times before collecting some of her juices with its tip and positioning it at her entrance.

Slowly she started to go down, keeping her gaze fixed on Axl's, she felt him fill her completely, letting a small moan leave her lips with the sensitivity.

She started with her movements, going up and down. Axl's hands found her hips, squeezing them firmly and guiding her movements until she reached a steady rhythm.

"Axl" She moaned his name, throwing her head back and allowing the sensation of pleasure to take over her mind.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful." He moved his lips to her now exposed neck, making her moan even more.

After a few minutes, Axl started to move his hips, meeting her movements, hitting her G-spot with strength and precision, making a loud moan leave her lips.

"Yes, moan for me, baby." He moved his thumb to her lips, allowing her to suck it, and he grunted at the sight.

"Axl ... I’m going to ..." Her breathing was rapid when she uttered the words between moans.

"I know baby. Cum to me. ” He said, moving his right hand to her clit, applying precise movements that made her moan even louder, if that was possible.

A cry with his name filled the room when she reached her peak, rolling her eyes and feeling her legs tremble with the wave of pleasure that spread through her body.

Axl's hands cupped her face, bringing her close to him as they continued to move. He enveloped her in a deep kiss and her hands tugged at his hair, knowing it was his weak spot.

"Oh, fuck." He groaned after a few minutes, parting their lips, but staying close enough that their noses would bump up every few seconds. "I love you." He said looking into her eyes, his thrusts becoming sloppier.

"I love you." She whimpered due to sensitivity, she could feel her walls tightening for another orgasm and she scraped his back with greed when a long moan left her lips and she closed her eyes.

“Fuck… Y/N.” It was all that Axl could say before they could both be hit by another orgasm, his jets filling her while her walls tightened his member, their juices mixing inside of her.

Sweaty and out of breath, all that could be heard in the room were their heavy breaths.

She leaned her forehead against his, holding his face with both hands as he hugged her.

"You don't know how much time I spent looking for you." He whispered.

She opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

"I hired a guy, but he never found you." 

She removed some locks of his hair away from his sweaty forehead. "I went back to the cottage the following year, but you weren't there."

"Shit, I was on tour." He giggled a little.

"When I was told we were going to play here, I couldn't help but hope that you would come."

"Well, I'm here now." She smiled sweetly, kissing his lips.

“Come to America with me? I don't want to be away from you anymore. ”

She stopped for a few seconds, thinking about his proposal.

"Please." He pleaded in a whisper.

Slowly she started to nod. “Yes, I will go with you! I don't want to be away from you anymore either. ”

The two smiled at each other before engaging in another passionate kiss, glad for finally being together again.

[musedblues]

Call It Fate Call It Karma

summary: In which your band gets signed to the same label as Queen, and Brian May takes a whole bunch of fun out of your new musical journey.

a/n: Here’s what to know… There’s an age gap! This takes place sometime in the 1980s and reader is in her twenty’s. There are also mentions of sex / sexual situations. (Not 18+ just be aware!) Here’s what’s been dubbed as The Bitchy Bri Fic! Title from this song!

w/c: 10k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Everything changed as you’d started to lose hope. And you owed it all to Jim Beach.

It was the afternoon you and your bandmates managed to sneak past the receptionist desk at EMI and present the reel of tape you called you an EP to a bored producer called Watts; Jim Beach was already occupying his office. By then, you’d been to every other record label in the city and were prepared to be kicked out of this one all the same.

But then the producer agreed to listen to your tape. Watts sat with his feet on his desk and a glazed over look in his eye as two of your only three songs played. Jim spoke up from the back of the room when your third and final song started to crackle to life.

“Well, aren’t you going to give them a shot?” He asked, in a warm, gentle tone.

“What are you three called?” Watts asked.

“Loba.” Wilda piped up, picking her nails in place of her guitar.

“It means ‘she wolf’ in Spanish.” Joane pointed out, twisting strands of her pale fringe as she perched on the edge of the bench at your side.

“Can you lot throw together the couple hundred bucks it takes to record, by the end of next week?” The producer asked.

“Yes.” You spoke up, though you weren’t sure how you’d get the money, this was the opportunity of a lifetime.

“Beach! Manage these lady wolves, will you?” Watts dragged his feet back to the floor with a thud.

“Me? I-I well,”

“You’ve got Queen, and who else? No one.” Watts exasperated. “McCartney has half our staff on lockdown this month and Iron Maiden has already gotten our three best workers to quit. You liked this mediocre garage rock well enough to say something…” The producer gathered your tape and tossed it to the manager with kind eyes and a smile under his furrowed brow. “Now everyone leave my office.”

You’d barely processed the life changing news as Jim turned toward you and your band with a grin that just kept growing.

“What do ya say, girls? Wanna make a record?”

///

You worked overtime and Joane got a second odd job to come up with the money to make a real-life record. And in a matter of a couple of months, you had an all new stage show, a new shiny Fender bass, and your very own album.

Well, almost. The record was in the final processes of being pressed. Watts helped put it together with his feet propped on the soundboard he manned. Past his usual cigar, he mumbled suggestions and even some encouragement; as you Wilda and Joane perfected the songs from your EP and threw together a couple more. Joane was praised for tightening her drum kit and bringing back up sticks. Wilda’s method of retuning her prized guitar worked without a hitch. You sang all your worries away with your bass playing in time. It was as easy as ever to work together, and one thousand times more terrifying all the same.

Jim lingered by on days like those, and on nights you’d booked gigs at local pubs and places of the like. On tea breaks, and in storage closets turned green rooms, Jim helped you and the girls make plans for the future. He carried around a pad of paper to jot down every time one of you thought up a new goal or two.

You went on and on about the sounds you heard in your head, and how you dreamed of bringing them to life. Of the words you longed to share with the world, and your favourite old tunes that never failed to inspire and excite.

Wilda dreamed of parties and people and places, the things she’d say on guest appearances and press tours. She dreamed of stages much more grandiose than the rickety old ones you were so familiar with now.

“We’d quite like to be as big as that other band of yours, one day.” Joane quipped, to a smiley Jim Beach. She was always going on about Queen. Bet she never dreamed of being graced with the assistance of her favourite band’s very own manager.

“No worries there.” Jim chuckled. “You ladies are a well-oiled machine compared to those four old bats. You’ll see for yourself tomorrow at the party.” He seemed to raise a brow like an omen but you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear.

///

Your first ever album had been slowly climbing the charts since it’s release at the start of the week. When your single aired for the first time, Joane parked her old beaten down truck outside of your flat and turned her car’s radio up all the way. You dismissed your neighbour’s pleas for peace and quiet by hopping in your drummers ride and speeding away to EMI, squealing along to your very own song the whole way there.

You met your guitarist outside of the company’s biggest office. Inside, the three of you hurried through a few pages of papers, and scribbled your signatures along odd dotted lines. Just like that, you were signed.

Even though Loba was gifted a bottle of champagne and a couple of snapshots to prove it, the label decided a proper party was in order to welcome you. Apparently, EMI liked to use every excuse they could to make use of their loft and it’s impressive bar top that wrapped around nearly every wall.

So no sooner than you’d shuffled into the head office, you were escorted out and up to the very top floor. The party, Jim said, was already in full swing.

And that’s when you met his other band. Though he never said so outright, you could tell Jim was most excited to introduce you to the only other group he’d had the pleasure of working with till now. Behind poorly placed streamers and the backs of people too busy carrying on conversations to notice you, there was Queen. All lazily huddled together against a spot at the long and winding bar.

When Jim made his presences known, you and the girls stopped in your tracks and traded a few nervous glances.

Freddie Mercury was all of a sudden shifting his weight before the lot of you, casting a sweeping gaze across each of your faces.

“Miami, are these the children you’ve adopted now that we’re all grown up?” Freddie asked, greeting the manager and turning his oxen eyes to your band. His champagne sloshed in the glass he held near his chest as he threw one arm around Jim’s shoulders.

“Awe, you talk about us?” You jabbed an elbow toward the manager though you couldn’t quite reach where he stood. As his grin only grew, the rest of the band shifted closer.

“Boys, meet the girls.” Jim smiled, introducing you each by name.

But you couldn’t be sure if Roger even heard the manager’s introduction. The blonde floated up to your guitarist like he’d been supernaturally dragged across the room to meet her. Wilda stood before him, trying desperately not to pick at her nails, and smiled. You wanted to laugh, but you wanted to hurl. It was just too much, the way Roger seemed to drool at the simple sight of her, like Pepe Le Pew.

“What are you lovely ladies called, again?” He asked in a voice just as rasped as you’d come to recognize over the radio. Wilda blanched and seemed to go shy all of a sudden, but you weren’t.

“Loba.” You shrugged speaking in the drummer’s direction.

“What?” John asked, stepping closer to the other side of you, standing taller than you expected him to be.

“It means she-wolf.” Joane piped up, reciting her favourite and well-practised line. It always saved her from going too quiet, that fact.

“Uh-huh.” Roger seemed to agree, shifting to stand at Wilda’s side instead of ogling her head on- holding her gaze all the same.

“Better than their almost name. Guess what it was, lads.” Jim raised a brow to Freddie. Oh no. With Joane likely having shut down at the mention of her old idea, and Wilda entirely preoccupied with whispering to Roger, everyone turned to glance at you- Left with no choice but to bury your embarrassment and answer.

“Doin’ Alright.” You admitted through a smile, because if you didn’t laugh, who would? It was your drummer, resident Queen fanatic’s idea, one you talked her out of shortly after joining.

“How bloody un-o-fucking-riginal,” Brain huffed and crossed his long arms over his chest.

You had barely officially met the guy. He loomed near the back of the gathering and stood in silence, till then. And you might have thought he’d only been joking if it wasn’t for the way his stoic expression remained unchanged when your eyes met his for the first ever time.

“Hate to break it to ya, but your name was already sort of taken, too.” You pointed out, giving a weak mocking curtsy at the vague mention of her majesty. Queen’s guitarist’s glare remained.

“Oh, I like this one. Good ear, Miami.” Freddie sauntered over and nudged you away from Brian’s burning gaze. Roger was pointing Wilda out to the balcony, where a rowdy group grew larger every time you glanced out beyond the open glass doors.

“Don’t mind him.” John cocked his head toward the sulking guitarist, and handed you a bubbly drink. “He’s in the middle of a divorce and a midlife crisis, it’s really quite the combination.”

“Poor thing.” You stuck your lip out on your turn in Brian’s direction, as Freddie yanked you toward the balcony, laughing all the while. The wild-haired guitarist watched you leave with an expression you couldn’t quite understand, though you wanted too.

But before the lot of you could spin your separate ways and dance until sunrise, one of the men from the head office stopped in front of everyone with a smile.

“Nice to see you’re all already so well acquainted.” He said, in a sickeningly posh tone. Roger draped an arm across Wilda’s slim shoulders as the rest of you hummed in agreeance.

“So how would you like to tour together, then?” The man grinned. Freddie flourished, making a grand gesture and saying something about how that was the best idea he’d ever heard in his life. Joane turned to you, not even attempting to hide her squeal of excitement. Jim shared a look with John, like a proud father.

“Good. Because that’s what the label wants.” The man nodded and turned to Jim with instructions to phone him to start planning. Freddie swept you away to kick off a night of fun, and when you turned to see if Brian cared at all, he was gone.

///

Your single topped the charts in the US. Jim came into your work, feigned an emergency and gathered the rest of your band to share the good news over a celebratory brunch. You might have won over the yanks, but Queen had stolen the hearts of billions long before you’d written your first tune. So it was naturally decided your band would open for the much more renowned group.

You turned your two weeks notice into your job, and blew your last paycheck on an all-new wardrobe. If you were going to prance around America with the likes of Queen, you had to look the part. Some platforms and a few dazzling dresses found their way into your suitcase a week before it was time to go.

By the time you met up with the other band at the airport, you knew Roger well enough to stick out your tongue as a greeting. He’d come around your flat once, trailing behind Wilda to crash a night out you’d been planning all week. And again to steal her away from your last band meeting. When you, Joane and Wilda sleepily trudged through the waiting gates, he stole your guitarist away for the third time, and you wondered what might become of them.

You were still dazzled by Freddie, charmed by his laugh and stunned when he insisted on sitting next to you on the plane ride over, to share gossip. All of his friends seemed just as taken with the ethereal singer, too. John sprung up from his catnap to go help Freddie find the best snacks the airport had to offer. And while Jim sat going over the schedule with Joane, Brian sat across from you with his arms crossed and his legs a mile apart.

“Are you excited?” You wondered because you really wanted to know if someone who’d done this a time or two was still thrilled by it. But mostly, you wanted to get the lanky guitarist to open up a little. If you were going to spend a whole month and a half near each other, wouldn’t it be nice to get to know the guy a little?

“I’m tired.” Brian nodded, his hazel eyes fluttering toward the windows.

“Lighten up Mr. May. You could have my job. Was just sent to phone Fred’s cats and we haven’t even left home.” A man as gangly as Brian shuffled to sit at your side, adjusting the sunglasses on his head that did little to hide his thinning hair.

“I’m Crystal, that’s Ratty.” The guy pointed across the lounge to another slim, long-haired fellow bent over an open acoustic guitar case.

“We’re everyone’s personal lackeys and will be glad to lend you ladies a hand all the same.”

You thanked the guy with a chuckle and felt charmed enough by his sudden kindness to admit your growing nerves. But then Freddie and John were back, and the plane was ready, and it was time to go on tour.

///

The first week flew by in a flash. You were jarred by the size of every new arena and crowd that filled the seats. You lost yourself entirely to the music that blared from the speakers at your band’s command; but never got used to hearing the songs you once plucked away at in your bedroom, fill stadiums.

Going from entertaining grotty pubs to seas full of people wasn’t something you ever expected to happen. The sound of their collective cheers directed to your band didn’t seem real. All you could do was play on, and sing with your friends until the time came to rush to another green room, catch your breath, and a glimpse of the headlining act.

You usually only saw Queen in passing- in revolving hotel doors or shuffling about the same backstage halls. If you weren’t on stage, your band was hauled off to radio stations for interviews while Queen partied on. And if your band had an afternoon to do as you pleased, Queen was off signing records and privately touring art museums.

But there were the rare occasions your paths crossed for longer than a minute or two. John would always make a point to ask after you, from time to time. He said you and the girls seemed to be handling the road like old champs.

“I’m too busy to be bothered with stage fright.” You laughed, when John asked how you looked so at home in front of the crowds that had started to sing along to the songs you played.

Where most of Queen felt like friends your parents warned against staying out past curfew with, John felt like your older brother; who waited up to sneak you back home with a kind word.

Freddie always invited you to the after parties and nights out, even when he knew Loba was meant to do a photoshoot one city away. And when you failed to show up, the singer would always say he’d missed you. And you believed him, because of the nights he’d sneak in your hotel room to share the last of the liquor that had knocked the rest of his bandmates cold. Freddie went out of his way to include you and the girls more often than not.

But Roger seemed to include himself in your groups circle any chance he could get. He trailed behind Wilda, sure, but he seemed genuinely fond of chatting away with you and Joane all the same. And when your guitarist and Queen’s drummer partook in their weekly game of playing hard to get, you were awarded tiny moments with just Roger.

Like the time everyone crashed before midnight, and the two of you stayed up by the quiet hotel poolside, with an acoustic. It wasn’t long before your goofing around turned into some kind of jam session, and you were writing a song together. Roger insisted you keep it to use, and left the cocktail napkin full of scribbled lyrics tucked between the strings of Wilda’s guitar that you’d been left in charge of.

Then, there was Brian.

He strolled ahead of you off of the riverboat where both of your groups had been invited to enjoy a day off, cruising around somewhere in America’s deep south. You couldn’t help but watch Brian’s figure move as it seemed to tower just over all the people at his side. It was time to head back to the hotel, or at least, time for your freshwater adventure to end. Everyone was glad for the easy-going ride, still tired from the night before.

Maybe that’s why he was so quiet all afternoon. Brian usually was, but there was something more to his silence today. And you didn’t know the guy well enough to figure, or dare ask why. The weather was nice, and Queen was received with reverence every place they went. Brian had no reason to sulk- none you could possibly understand.

A slew of people with cameras and questions flocked to the boat docks as the one and only Freddie led the way, pretending to introduce Crystal as some kind of rockstar in his own right. The roadie ate up the attention as Brian’s pace set your own. You couldn’t move until he did. And while he stalled, cameras flashed and a desperate middle-aged man held a skinny microphone toward the band.

“Brian, how are you finding America?” They asked in a mousy pitch.

“Oh, it’s lovely here, as always.” Brian politely grinned, curling his fists in his jacket pockets, from what you could see.

“How’s touring with another group? Queen usually don’t need the support of an opening act.”

“Right.” Brian seemed to agree in a curiously cynical tone.

“They’re called Loba, and we quite like having them around.” Roger was suddenly shaking your shoulders like an overzealous coach. You chuckled at his antics as Brian dared to glimpse at the commotion.

He turned his gaze over his shoulder to look at you for a moment. It might have been the most exciting part of your whole day, considering how Brian hardly ever looked your way till now. But why did it have to be like that? What did you ever do to the guy?

The best you’d ever gotten from Brian was an empty hum when asked if he cared if you sat in the only open seat at his side, during some dinner. And over that meal, he chattered away with the likes of his band, and even yours. And maybe it was because you became utterly paranoid by his silence to break it with all of the questions you had for the guy. But he never spoke to you. The seat at Brian side seemed a void in his peripheral. And you were growing a bit anxious by the thought of actually being invisible to Brian. So you started speaking up.

When Freddie asked you with help on matching one of his many jackets with a pair of trousers, you’d already made up your mind, but twisted around to ask what Brian thought. His brows upturned in a painfully confused expression as he hesitantly gave his answer to Freddie’s clothing debacle. You got your own answer too, that at least Brian heard a voice coming from the space you existed in.

When both tour buses stopped for gas one random midnight; Roger raced you into the convenience store and distracted you from buying anything in place of dancing to The Cars tune crackling from the overhead speakers. Your spontaneous party was broken up when Brian breezed by with his freshly purchased candy bar in hand.

“We are on a schedule you know?” He glared your way on his turn to leave.

“I’m sorry you weren’t invited to the dance party Bri.” You mused, stopping the guy in his tracks, who turned to look at you in the way he did. “We’ll let you sulk in the corner of our next one, since it would obviously kill you to actually join in the fun.”

But all that got you was a roll of Brian’s hazel eyes and a cackle from Roger. That was the norm. Brian either seemed to pretend you weren’t there, or traded you bone chilling glares like you’d wronged him in a past life. But you’d never known less of a person than you’d known of Brian May, and you were beginning to wonder if going about finding out more was worth it.

///

By the time your next soundcheck came, Queen had nothing better to do than bop about the stadium to wait their turn. You and the girls rushed through your usual set up but decided to change things around for your second to the last song. And while you started to unplug it was decided Joane would have to turn a certain drum fill into a solo while Wilda rushed off stage to retune her only electric guitar to properly close out the show.

Brian overheard, from the place he stood arguing over an amp with Ratty, who’d kindly agreed to stick close by your band during times like now. The roadie shuffled over to take your bass away, while Brian issued a complaint.

“You’re going to retune? Just use a bloody capo and don’t waste everyone’s time.” Brian shifted his weight, furrowing his brow your way. Though you weren’t the guitarist in question, you seemed to be the one and only person Brian felt most comfortable yapping at.

“There’s more than one way to do things, you know?” You pointed.

“Yeah,” Brian shrugged, agreeing with you in a breathtaking turn of events. But then again, not really… “The right way and the wrong way.”

“Christ no wonder you’re divorced.” You shook your head in the guy’s direction. His eyes might have been pretty if they weren’t burning into yours with such disdain. Then you both made a show of storming past each other. You were getting really sick of his attitude, and what it did to yours.

///

“Oh no. Oh no, no, no!” You cried, cradling your bass that had fallen from the stand to the concrete floor below. The neck was ever so slightly cracked and a tuning peg was bent and your heart was near stopping. When you looked up from the ground, you saw Ratty cursing out one of the stadiums impish young stagehands. The kid had blown an amp and sent it smoking, and your guitar flying off the stage in his rush to run from the trouble he’d stirred.

You clutched your one and only instrument to your chest and hurried away for help. Ratty was wrestling the broken amp, Crystal was nowhere to be seen, and John was off phoning home. You recalled the sights of the city from yesterday’s afternoon off. There was a guitar shop across from the Chinese place where you stopped for lunch.

So you raced past Joane and shouted that you’d be back in an hour. The exact amount of time you had until it was time to go on stage.

You ran down the city streets with your bass in your arms like a wounded child. The guitar shop appeared like a beacon.

Inside was blaring a song by Led Zeppelin you might have wanted to sing along too if your heart wasn’t in your throat. There was a mass of teenaged boys crowded the counter. You waited, held your breath and checked the clock as it ticked away at a frightening speed. By the time the boys buying strings and straps shuffled away, you threw your broken baby to the older man behind the counter. He assured you the fix would be a breeze and tried to sell you an overpriced Gibson while you waited. You stood drumming beats on the sales counter and tried not to scream when the clock showed you’d only had ten minutes left to waste. A couple more later, your bass was in your grasp. You threw an extra bit of cash to the guy and ran off in a flurry, praying to make it on time.

You’d never ran so fast, certainly. You didn’t even have time to apologize to a kid on a bike who had to swerve out of your way. You burst through the back doors of the stadium, much to the shock of the doorman. When he shouted at you to take it easy, you ceased running to walk as fast as you could toward the green room.

Brian was the first familiar face to greet you after the nerve-wracking scene.

“So nice of you to finally show up.” He let out a mocking cheer from the place he kicked back on a torn leather sofa. So relaxed in his gloom. Your heart used to ache at the thought of his troubles. At the sight of his far off gaze as his friends joked on around him. When Freddie would drunkenly whisper to you details of Brian’s trying year. But the guitarist’s sneers your way were getting old, and the ache in your heart for him was slowly growing cold.

Freddie spun to greet you, let out a sigh of relief like an anxious mother, reaching out to adjust your shirt collar skewed under the strap of your instrument.

“Well, my guitar had to get fixed one way or the other. And unlike you, your highness, we haven’t got a gaggle of roadies to call upon.” You swatted Freddie away and snapped toward Brian.

“No, but what’s ours is yours. Next time ask for help.” John spoke like a stern father, tossing you a bottle of water and pointing toward the clock on the wall. You had about a minute to run out on stage.

“Let her learn the hard way, Deacy. She seems to like it that way.” Brian rang. You dashed away before you had time to curse him.

“Brian, stop being such a bitch, I mean, my God.” Freddie whined as you stormed off, glad for once that someone else seemed fed up with the guitarist’s sharp tongue, too.

///

When the show was over, John insisted you hop along his band’s tour bus back to the hotel. The other two-thirds of your band were still enjoying the amenities of the afterparty, and you were in the middle of trading bass themed horror stories with Deacy. So he kept on talking as you walked to follow him, settling near the front of the ride as it travelled to your latest hotel.

As Queen shuffled to cross the bleak lot to get to the grandiose lodge, Brian was the last to leave. He shouldered past you with that same old sullen pout. His eyes caught yours for a moment before he took another step, but something about the usual interaction was the final straw for you.

“What the hell did I ever do to you?” You demanded to know, as Brian’s bandmates disappeared inside the hotel. Brian stalled reluctantly and turned to face you with pursed lips and the smallest shake of his head.

“Look,” He began, as you stood ready to get to the bottom of whatever this was. “I’ve really never meant to be so cross with you. And I’m sorry my temper’s been so easily getting the better of me. I am sorry.” Brian nodded. He looked exhausted, like this was the millionth time he’d had to give a similar speech, but he did so in such a genuine manner- that you could only stand and trade a perplexed gaze to the lanky guitarist.

“It’s… it’s best if we just keep to ourselves, yeah?” Brian concluded, turning away with one final nod. You didn’t get the chance to agree, or disagree, or understand what just happened before Brian was on his way, and you were on your own.

///

After the tour was said and done, a new year was just kicking off. And the label was pushing for another album right out the gate. You and the girls had two months to throw together a collection of new songs, and were struggling for most of the time to do just that.

The song Roger helped you write was the best one you had to offer, and Joane was nearly crippled under the stress of being creatively confined to a certain amount of time. You’d never had such a hard time working together before, and the pressure was building up between each of your bandmates in a way you were afraid of.

When Watts strolled in to take control of the soundboard you’d been fiddling with all morning, you couldn’t help but to warn him against changing any of your settings. You and the girls were finally making some kind of progress, albeit bickering along the way. Poor Jim could only sorrily sigh each time one of you turned and ask for his help. This bit of work was a little outside of the managers league.

And Watts only seemed to egg you on, pressing the few buttons you asked him not to.

“You want to control this soundboard so bad, have at it.” He stood in a huff, “I only strongly suggest you don’t fuck this up.” The producer hissed before slipping out of the door. He smiled a smile that made you queasy, and you nodded knowing full well you were on thin ice.

Jim left you and the girls to fight over tempos and key changes and came back from the studio’s kitchenette with an unexpected announcement.

“Brian is coming.” He said, matter of factly.

“What’d you call him for?” Joane groaned from the floor, where she laid fiddling with her kit.

“Because Queen is the best help I know. But Freddies in Barcelona, John’s with his family, Roger is MIA and Brian is right down the road. You lot have a day left, and I’m running out of helpful ideas. And quite frankly, you girls are in need of a lot of it.”

“Yeah, maybe, but now nothing will get done.” Joane countered. “Not with the way he and y/n square off like old alley cats.”

“He’ll be here in five. Come on lady wolves… Claws up, plugs in.” Jim pointed as he sat back down on the studio sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Wilda shot into a speech, begging you over and over to keep it cool. The sooner you started, the better. She was right, and you wanted nothing more than to get this record finished. So with a nod, you accepted your fate.

Brian strolled in the studio right on time. His eyes looked desperate for sleep, and his already wild mane seemed even more unkempt. His small smile Jim’s way made you want to reach past the wall Brian put up, and shake his shoulders, and tell him it was okay to be actually happy once in a while.

Maybe it was the time that had passed since the tour. Maybe Brian forgot that he’d cared so little for you, and that’s why his faint grin lingered when his eyes met yours, past the glass of the recording booth. You willed your own weak smile his way, weary of this new civility, but just as tempted to take it in stride.

“Hello, ladies. Let’s see what you’re working with so far, shall we?” Brian leaned in and spoke just to you, it seemed. Maybe it was because you were closest, front and centre before the guy in a little glass box.

You’d felt more vulnerable than ever, under his forest coloured gaze. There was no place to run off and hide. You were right in Brian’s line of sight, right under his thumb, as he pressed a button stopped your band from playing to suggest a few dozen changes.

You knew he was here to help. And Jim looked so hopeful, tapping his foot to the beat in the corner of the room. So even though your throat was going dry as Brian settled his eyes on your bass- you played on. When he stopped you again, your blood began to boil.

“Please tell me you plan on adding a keyboard? A harmonica, something else?” Brian grimaced.

“We only play on the record what we can play on stage as a three-piece.” Joane raised a drumstick to make a point.

“Yeah well, it’s sure sounding that way.” The older and wiser musicians voice crackled through the speaker.

“Fuck you, that sounded good!” You hissed into the mic, wielding your bass like a weapon. That might'a been the best take you’d done all day.

“Yeah, but it didn’t sound great. If I turned my car radio on to that I’d fall asleep at the wheel. Joane, try using your snare on the bridge, instead of the cymbals. Y/n… from the top.” Brian sighed, sitting back in his chair like an exhausted parent.

You sighed too, adjusting your headphones and tossing Wilda a glare, a sign that you couldn’t keep your cool much longer.

You tried harder. But Brian kept stopping you. And every time he did, you couldn’t be stopped from cursing him just a little. If he’d only give you just one chance to find your rhythm, you might’ve made a whole record by now. When you told him as much, he let you play on for almost half a song before he’d stopped you again. When he did, you nearly exploded. But Joane snapped first. She got up from her kit, chucked her headphones, and stormed away. You slung your bass away to follow after her, but Wilda was quicker and raced out of the back to chase Joane down.

That left you with time enough to break out of the glass box and give Brian a few choice words.

“Way to fucking go, drill sergeant.” You gestured toward the guy who was slow to rise from his place before the soundboard.

“It’s not my fault she decided to-”

“Yeah, it is. Thanks for showing up and doing fuck all.”

“I came here to help you, and I could do if you’d stop acting like a damn child.” He pointed a finger your way, and the fire in his gaze sent a chill down your spine for the first time ever. You weren’t afraid of him. You were only stunned by the way he spoke to you. The way he always had. Why did Brian bother showing up here tonight?

“We might be able to take some of your suggestions if you stopped stopping us! Why don’t you just stick to pissing your own band off? You do it so well.”

You’d heard him trade sharper words with Queen. Roger told you that Brian was just working through some things. John said he’d always been like this. You just couldn’t understand why you got the worst of it.

“Well, it’s clear you’ve got more than enough hell to give your own group. You might sound less like the second place winners of your primary school’s talent show if you learned to stop making so many executive decisions.”

“I have a suggestion for you.” You decided, “Why don’t you take all your bleeding suggestions and fu-”

“Yeah, alright, let’s all take a break.” Jim intervened as you let out an exhausted sigh that doubled as a frustrated cry. The manager waved Brian over and the two men started to share a word as you stormed out of the back from fresh air and a clearer mind.

“He’s right you know. We sound like a washed-up wedding band.” Wilda shouted your way as she stayed leaning back against the hood of her car with a cigarette in hand.

“Where is Joane?” You asked, already knowing the answer. Wilda glanced at the empty parking spot where your drummer’s new mustang was earlier today. Great. Just what you needed.

“Right. Let’s forget everything, and finish. We’ll just… get it done.”

And so that’s what you did. Brian was gone when you ventured back in, and his absence left a familiar little ache in your heart. You didn’t like shouting at each other like cross siblings. You’d wanted to be his friend more than anything, at the start of all of this. The stars that might have aligned for that chance were all askew by now.

Jim left you and Wilda to go fetch some takeaway. Then he sat around the small table in the studio and shared dinner and some words of wisdom with the two of you. You thanked your manager for being so kind, and forgiving of your antics thus far. He chuckled and said something about having witnessed and dealt with much worse. Jim stayed a while longer, while you and Wilda worked together, and it was you who had to encourage the guy to go home and get some rest.

He entrusted the key to the place to you and your bandmate and left you to finish up for the evening. And you did, eventually. You and the eager guitarist listened back to the tapes and added in riffs and fills, and even a few of Brian’s suggestions; until well past midnight. But right on time for the label.

You could sleep soundly knowing you’d finished when you were meant to. But your dreams were full of worry that the record still wasn’t good enough.

///

“You did what?” Joane shrieked in the hall of your flat.

“We had to finish, Joane. You never came back, what else were supposed to do?” You yelled back, worry saturating your tone. It was far too early to be having this fight.

“You were supposed to wait for me!” Joane shouted, looking to you with big sad eyes. You rushed to remind her that you were out of time, and she could have shown back up and helped you finish, but she didn’t. And in her typical fashion, the drummer spun on her heels and stormed away, fringe flying far behind her shoulders as she shouted something about never coming back.

The girl had been known to fly off the handle on occasion. There was the time she drove your van away from a sketchy Welsh pub you travelled miles to play in, because Wilda called the drummers shoes ugly. Or the time she nearly chucked her cymbals from your third story flat window. You prayed that this episode was like the others you’d endured as you shut your door and rushed to get ready. It was time to take your record to the head office.

No one was particularly happy to find your three-piece only consisted of two when you showed up with Wilda to present your latest creation. Jim flashed a couple of smiles as the tracks played on, but all you noticed were Wilda’s shrugs. The record was done. But under unexpectedly trying circumstances and lacking a lot of help from your drummer. It wasn’t what you’d envisioned. The label still decided it was good enough, and sent you to fill a couple of talk show slots before the week was up.

You went with your guitarist to a couple of press junkets, and watched as your dazzling friend gave away answers she’d been practising since before you’d played your first gig. The only thing that made her umber eyes glow brighter was the sight of Roger Taylor waiting up after a certain interview. He invited her back to wherever it was he’d run off to, and Wilda had the decency to look toward you with a furrowed brow.

With a sigh, you agreed to handle the rest of the press on your own. Because she deserved to have the fun she’d been wishing for with the capricious drummer.

Four talk shows, three guest appearances, and one very hectic game show later, it was time for your record release. Roger phoned to assure he’d bring Wilda back in the nick of time. But Joane wasn’t answering her phone. You’d hoped after a bit of space that your drummer would come back around. But she wasn’t any place you’d gone to look. You spent until the witching hour driving to the places you knew she might have been and came up short.

When the time came to get ready for the party, half of your time getting ready was spent trying to hide the dark circles under your eyes. Before you left home, you took a couple of shots and prayed tonight wouldn’t crash and burn around you.

///

The mansion belonged to the head of the company, a place he’d invite people to when celebrations were too grandiose to fit in EMI’s loft. You wondered if you were the last to arrive when you opened the massive carved doors to find the stunning home littered with faces most of whom you didn’t recognize. One you did finally emerged from the crowd.

“Thank God you made it, I feared I’d have to put on a show instead.” Freddie chuckled, greeting you with glee. You ruffled the boa around his neck, thanked him for showing up, and wondered where you could find the drinks.

“I’ll take you round back dear, but you’d better hurry. The old important men are tired of waiting.” You could have explained how you’d waited up in hopes that Jonae would phone. And how when the phone did ring, it was Wilda worrying that she’d missed the only flight back home. But you only gave Freddie a sorry smile and spun into the garden. There was a bar in the veranda, where a handsome man made a show of mixing you a drink, making little passes along the way.

The time you thought you were stalling by answering all of the dude’s dumb questions was very soon interrupted. All of a sudden a towering guitarist was casting a shadow over you, and swiftly excusing the man behind the minibar.

“It’s about bloody time you showed up.” Brian rang in a mockingly sweet timbre. And as your stomach fluttered with nerves, you knew time was up. But how could you release a record without the rest of your band?

When you started to argue as much, Brian clamped his fingers around your arm like a vice and yanked you away from the bar and the drink you didn’t even get to try.

“Saving the day again, are you?” You rang dryly, as he towed you away. Brian’s face was set in its usual frown, one you’d become so familiar with that his smile on magazine covers made you look twice. He said nothing as he marched you out of the yard and into the mansion. You figured he’d part ways from you once you passed through the doors, but his grip didn’t loosen on the way down the empty marble hallway.

“Let me go.” You struggled, huffing out the words as you fought his grip and won. Before you had time to storm away, Brian spun to face you.

“Would you grow the fuck up? There is a room full of people depending on you and you’re acting like a fucking child, like always.”

“I’m not a child.” You hissed, curled your fists and glared up at Brian as he loomed over you. His shirt was unbuttoned halfway down his chest. His feet and fiery eye’s pointed to back you into the corner. But you wouldn’t let him get to you. “I’m trying my best it’s just not fucking good enough.”

A bit of a waver passed through your tone, as you targeted the words through your teeth. You watched Brian bend at the knee to look right in your eye, and pretended not to hold your breath.

“No, you aren’t.” Brian pointed a finger right at you and spoke in a low, unnerving rumble. “I’ve seen you at your best and I can guarantee you’re far from it, tonight.” He snarled, glaring you up and down with those dangerous hazel eyes. They raked over the span of your figure before landing on yours once more. “You look a bloody mess.”

“Because I’ve been running around till two in the damn morning, trying to find Joane! And when I couldn’t, I had to finish everything all on my own again. Because Roger took Wilda away and bought her nice pretty shoes and put her in good graces with all the higher-ups, and unlike her, I have to earn that shit myself.” You yelled, the dam holding back your bottled up emotion had crumbled in the overflow. You could feel the threat of tears stinging the backs of your eyes as Brian stood gaping at you in your outburst.

“So now I’ve lost my voice from all the interviews and the lack of sleep and I probably won’t be able to sing on tour to promote this shite album with a single you’ll switch off when it comes on the radio, anyway!”

And before you’d even stopped shouting, it seemed, Brian had his hands on either side of your face, and his lips pressed to yours. Your back was pushed to the wall and it took great effort not to melt down it with the way you were consumed by an all new kind of fire; mixed among the usual. But above it all, you were too shocked to kiss him back. Then you parted from each other, and past his unbuttoned top you watched the rise and fall of Brian’s chest while he caught his breath and stared at you.

“What the bloody hell was that?” You asked in a stunned hush. Brian blinked and shook his curls.

“I’m, I- I don’t- I didn’t mean-”

“You think you can just kiss me and, I don’t know, that everything is just magically going to be okay?” You wondered in a fluster, knowing there was nothing that could be done about the blush burning your cheeks. After months of frowning every time the two of you passed each other he kisses you?

“No. No I- I’ve always wanted to kiss you and I just thought I knew better than to do it.”  Brian held up a hand like he was swearing not to come closer. Talk about some seriously mixed messages.

“What?” You asked in an embarrassingly high squeak.

“I wanted to kiss you before I even knew your name. And it just seemed like the entirely wrong thing to do. So I shut you out, and my ire kept getting the better of me, and that’s not an excuse, just the truth,” Brian sighed, at what seemed like a sudden loss for words as his eyes searched yours.

“Well, you’ve gone and done it now.” You pointed out with the faintest laugh despite everything. Brian shook his head, asking, in a way, to understand what you were on about.

So you shook your head too, and latched onto his loose collar. You yanked Brian closer because you weren’t angry. You were actually feeling fine all of a sudden about everything. Only sure that you had to kiss him again good and proper. It was your first kiss with him, really, as your mouths moved together. Brian’s fingers were wrapped around your arm again, less claw-like than moments ago. And he didn’t seem too keen to break away from pushing you a little closer to the wall, a second time around.

But just as you lost yourself to the feeling of Brian’s frame moulded against your own, your name was hollered from somewhere down the hall. Music grew louder over the speakers that reached out to the sparsely decorated hall. Brian let you go, and you released your latch on his shirt to wipe your lips in a hurry.

But before you could scurry away, you watched Brian watch you prepare to bolt, and couldn’t help the small smile blooming across your face. He smiled, too.

You looked a mess. You were a mess. And you might’ve been one step away from fucking this whole thing up. But for the first time all year, you accepted it.

///

Your second record, somehow, was praised by the label and adored by the steadily growing following you’d gained. The old burnt out hippie man who ran your home town record store stood from his torn leather stool and applauded you, the day you came in to buy the Talking Heads new record.

“You’re really finding your sound, man.” The old hippie grinned. You told him to sit back down and thanked him despite your embarrassment. He asked you to autograph the cash box and gave you a discount on the album you bought.

After your single reached the top five in the charts, you talked Joane back around. It wasn’t easy. You had to promise you’d keep a cooler head, and she did too. She started stopping over every Sunday with a book of songs for you to think up a tune to, and turned the radio up every time one of your hits came on air. You laughed when she danced around your coffee table like it was the first time she was hearing your band name on the lips of a local dj.

Wilda cut all her hair off and wore the shoes Roger bought her everywhere. She talked about him after every breath, but you knew she hadn’t talked to him in months. Queen were busy planning a tour of Europe and trying to save the families that hadn’t already slipped through the cracks at the homes they bought but hardly visited.

You knew because you called Freddie to ask after Brian.

“Why are you asking about Brian?” You could hear the smile in Freddie’s voice, after he’d finished gabbing about the others.

“I want to know how all you boys are, naturally.” You panicked, realizing how lame your excuse was as you spoke it into the receiver. Freddie only hummed after a beat, and let another silence linger before speaking up again.

“I know you both secretly care for each other. Just give him time love, he’ll come around.” Freddie chirped before giving you a sweet farewell and hanging up.

Throughout your ever-changing year, Freddie had been more than kind to you. He’d become your friend. He gave away secrets like a kid at a slumber party. And when Brian came up in his conversation, Freddie always got serious. When the singer told you about the rough year Brian had been through, and the state of his well being, Freddie seemed to look at you with all of the seriousness in the world. Like he was desperate for you to understand. Did he know you were desperate to understand? Did he know Brian kissed you?

You could have phoned Brian. But you were too busy secretly hoping he’d ring you.

///

Your only notable call came from Jim, who gently nudged you to agree to being Queen’s opening act, once again.

“It’s what the fans want, according to the label. It’s what the label wants.” Jim explained, in the soft, kind, way that protected the guy from ever receiving a glare or harsh word from you, or Brian, you realized.

“We’ll do it, if the royal court isn’t up in arms.”

“Freddie said, and I quote, 'Beg her on my behalf and tell her I’ll fly home from Barcelona to do it myself if she even thinks of saying no.’”

So you called your band, packed a bag and showed up to the airport at five in the bloody morning with a smile on your face.

And then you were off. For the first week, a local band had been chosen from each new city, to open for Loba. By the time you, Wilda, and Joane took the stage, each audience of what seemed like billions were more electric than the last. You’d never had more fun, jumping around to the music you’d worked your ass off to create with the girls. You each ran off stage, changed in a flurry and ran back to the sidelines to watch Queen light up the black ink night. And like the last time, that was about the only time you’d see much of them- till one show got delayed when a wicked storm showed no signs of passing.

Roger took Wilda to dinner, and she followed his burning trail after about a minute of pretending she wasn’t at all interested. Joane made a speech about everyone catching up one sleep, before she crashed in your bed with her shoes still on. After unlacing her heavy boots and tossing them aside, you went to find your favourite band of boys gathering in the lobby with plans to go out.

“Now the party can really start.” Crystal grinned, reaching to wrap a strong arm around your neck as he pulled you to follow the gang to the limo in waiting. You broke loose of the roadies hold and shoved him into the back of the car before crouching in yourself.

A couple of girls you’d never met sat on either side of Freddie, and cast their doe eyes to John who scooted over to make room for you. And holding the bassist’s attention was Brian, who had yet to look your way all week. Ah, just like old times. You both had been busy. But you couldn’t stop from wondering if there was something more to it…

Had you upset Brian beyond your wildest dreams, when you kissed? Did he smile at you after it happened in the way people who were so angry did, that their furry appeared in a mask of calm?

Or… did you finally get him to shut up for good? Did he realize how unremarkable you were? That you weren’t even good enough to bicker with any longer? Pushing his buttons was one thing. But you always hated the times you and Brian paired harsh words with those deadly glares. Now that you were getting the silent treatment though, you’d take his arguing with you with a relieved smile.

Freddie pulled you along into a club adorned in sickening green uplighting. The purple-tinted insides held a crowded bar and a dance floor where patrons overflowed toward the restrooms. Some tune by The Velvet Underground was pulsing through the speakers as Freddie spun you around, dancing you both closer to the mass of people doing the same.

You noticed members of your group beginning to lose themselves in the crowd when you decided a drink was in order. The bar was packed, so much so that you nearly couldn’t turn to see who you’d wedged yourself against until you felt him tense up.

Brian kept his eyes on the wall decorated with drink options and dared not move as you shifted to notice him. His hip jabbed into your side, his white knuckles rested on the ledge of the bar brushed against your arm as he drew his hands together.

“Aren’t we going to talk about it?” You asked all of a sudden. If it were up to you, you would have cornered Brian like he’d cornered you, that night. But the tour had been so busy, and this was the closest you’d been since the night he pushed you against the wall… And you couldn’t take it anymore.

Still, Brian kept his eyes pointed front and said nothing.

“You kissed me first, ya know?” You spoke plainly, desperate for a response.

The barman shoved a tall drink toward Brian’s chest just then, at the same time Freddie reached past a few strangers to yank his guitarist toward the dance floor. As he was pulled away, Brian’s eyes swept over yours, and they were prettier than ever.

///

You’d nearly forgotten all your troubles that weekend, as everyone rushed to make up the cancelled show with two in a row, and one another city away with no time to sleep, not really.

After a montage of screaming crowds, ringing guitars, and squirming in and out of too-tight clothes, a three day break awaited the lot of you at long last. You trekked behind familiar faces down a lime green hotel hall, and dreamed of sleeping until you were good and ready to wake up.

Freddie waved as he twirled into his room, and Roger followed Wilda all the way down the hall. And while you watched your feet move toward your room number a few dozen doors away, you were stopped in your tracks.

You grinned when you recognized the feeling of the fingers around your arm, and the way Brian dragged you in his tow. You didn’t have far to go, just behind the door he was already closing in one swift move…

And in a flash, the door was shut and he was kissing you like how he did before, without a word, all of a sudden. Like he was trying to suck the life out of you. You kissed him right back, like you’d been dreaming of doing since you knew how nice it was.

And then you shoved him away. Because you wanted this, but not like last time.

“You’re not going to leave me in the quiet after tonight are you? I might at least be able to stand the radio silence if I knew what it was all about.” You searched Brian’s face in the dark. All the while, you kept ahold of his shirt sleeves and slowly found your way to his haphazardly made hotel bed.

“I was afraid.”

“Afraid?” You couldn’t help but chuckle. He’d treated you with all the interest of a passive-aggressive house cat since the day you met. Brian went quiet as you guided him to sit on the mattress, leary to close the space between you until he spoke up again. Though his long fingers fell feather-light against your hips, you only kept yours on his shoulders and held his gaze, silently hoping he’d speak up again.

“Of how desperately I’ve always wanted you.” He whispered while his fingers curled to grip you the slightest bit closer. “There were about one thousand reasons I was afraid of ever kissing you, and they all seemed even scarier after I did.”

Brian let his eyes rake up your figure before meeting your own. His lips were close enough to brush yours now. It made such sense, now. All those looks weren’t really glares. All those bitter words weren’t so malice. The tension that lied between you and Brian was all to do with how badly you’d wanted to be this close all along.

Maybe he was afraid to cross that line, because of all the love he’d so recently lost. Or maybe it was because of how young and dumb you really were. And maybe it was because of something you wouldn’t come to find out for a while, yet. You decided there wasn’t time to worry over why, tonight. That could come later.

“I hope you realise now, there’s nothing to fear.” You wrapped a hand around Brian’s neck and watched his eyes search yours in the dark. Then he nodded, softly bumping his head against yours. He pulled you closer between his legs and kissed you. You pushed him to lay down and started on your mission to show Brian just how fond of him you really were.

“I’m still pissed that we could have been doing this ages ago.” You breathed a laugh as Brian’s teeth grazed your neck.

“Never could handle not getting your way, could you?” He hummed against the skin you’d started to expose.

“I mean it.” You chuckled, tugging at a few of Brian’s highlighted curls. His head lulled until he was looking at you again. Brian stayed perfectly fitted against you while his eyes peered into yours. You recognized the uncertain look on his face, but it was different than before. Softer. Sadder, maybe. 

“You really want this?” He asked in a soft timbre.

“Yes.” You nodded, tracing the length of his nose just because. A bit of quiet lingered after your assurance.

“But do you want me?” Brian asked in a hush. His sweet voice saturated in a worry you didn’t realize he had.

“Yeah,” You nodded again, searching his pretty hazel eyes as you placed both of your hands on the sides of his lovely face. “I want you Bri.”

The kiss you shared then was one that meant more than you knew a kiss could. There was something about Brian, a part of him you’d always longed to know. You felt closer than ever to that side of the guitarist now, when he deepened the kiss, and you felt him smile.

///

You woke up with a song in your head.  A melody left over from a dream. But instead of rushing to find a pen and paper, you rolled over to covet the warmth of your unexpected company.

Brian draped an arm across your middle and hummed in delight when you nuzzled closer. You stayed like that, perfectly content in the tangled up sheets, watching the patterns of the sun through the window on their slow shift across the room.

“We’re going to have to leave this bed at some point you know?” You sat up a little after dozing off for the third time in a row. Brian stayed happily tucked close to your side. “And someone is more than likely going to figure this out.”

“That’s fine by me.” Brian shrugged, peering up to you from the pillows you leaned against.

“We’re supposed to hate each other.” You reminded through a sleepy chuckle. Brian only grinned and blinked, conjuring up a thought.

“I never hated you. I might always be sorry for picking such fights. I did always want the best for you, I just had a nasty way saying so.” Brian murmured thoughtfully.

He caught your eye once more and the corners of his mouth turned up when he looked to find you were already staring at him, trying to memorize the perfect outline of his profile against the bright sunlight. You inched lower to meet his gaze, and said,

“I think we might’ve finally figured out what’s best for both of us.”

And the way Brian looked at you then sent a chill down your spine that raced back up and shot through your heart in one go.

“S'Just, sometimes you’re a real bitch.” You joked to fight the way your heart was beginning to beat like a drum. Because you weren’t quite brave enough to fall all the way in love yet. But you decided just as quickly that Brian was probably worth falling for.

“I know. And sometimes you’re fucking unbearable.” He countered with a smirk.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You noted with a laugh. You had it real bad for this guy. And that kind of scared the shit out of you. How could this have happened so quickly? How had you failed to see it coming? What if it was over no sooner than it began?

“But…” The only thing that broke through your hesitancy was Brian’s long fingers slowly trailing across your jaw.  "Do you want me?“ You echoed his statement from the night before, in a hush. You’d only just realized the depth in asking so.

"Yeah.” Brian said, wrapping a lean arm snug around your middle without a moment’s hesitation. “I want you.”

And he said so like he was trying to encapsulate all the things that made you whole and wonderful and unbearable all at once. And even then, you giggled before leaning in for a kiss.

You spent the rest of what was left of that morning doing all the things you’d done the night before. And when you decided to finally get dressed, you and Brian hopped into your clothes while squabbling over what and when to tell your friends.

You hoped you’d get to hear his maddening whinging on for the rest of forever. Because if it ever became too much, at least you’d finally discovered some pretty effective ways to shut each other up.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[plasticnightmaredoll]

(art commission by the lovely and talented @curious-menace)

It is a time where I would like to see what my followers think about various concepts I have in mind pertaining to alternate versions of one my fics. It may take some time to write out any alternate versions since I've been busy and stressed out so much lately, but I am very curious as to what others would find intriguing to read.

But first, some backstory so be patient. We'll get to the voting at the end of this post.

I've been having a lot of bad days lately, and my mood has plummeted to a major low. This includes my self-esteem, which has always been in the dumps but is now basically a dumpster fire.

However, I don't want to be entirely cruel to myself. I deserve some sort of happiness, some sort of reprieve, and writing can be a good coping mechanism. I put a lot of my own thoughts, emotions, struggles, opinions, etc. into my works, as they serve as a way for me to get things off my chest. Sometimes, it's just cute and funny stuff, other times angsty but eventually fluffy stuff, and other times it's quite depressing and dark.

One fic, in particular, stands out, and that is the Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, "Volunteer," (trigger warnings: mentions psychological torture and suicide...more about this fic in a bit for those who would rather not read it because of those triggers) which features Arkham Knight Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane, as well as a lady friend for Edward named Sara. It also features Erron Black and Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat (Cassie is only mentioned in the story a few times).

If you read the blog intro/self-introduction post pinned at the top of my Tumblr, you know very well how I feel about Cassie Cage (particularly in MK11) and the Erron Black x Cassie Cage (BlackCage) pairing. Those negative feelings are mostly due to a very bad experience with a pushy BlackCage fan who just wouldn't relent one bit on their stance and it was emotionally and mentally draining to try and talk to them, including providing counter-arguments.

I've come up with alternate versions for "Volunteer" recently due to the spike in stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurities I've been dealing with as of late. This is where my followers come in!

I would like people to vote on which alternate take on "Volunteer" they would be interested in reading. Now, I can't guarantee when I'd get to it because, as I mentioned already, I've got a lot going on. However, I really want to try and write at least one alternate version of that fic, just to get some insecurities and negative thoughts off my chest.

Now, for those who are wary of reading "Volunteer" because of the trigger warnings, here's my advice: Just read the first chapter, if you want to. Chapter 2 deals directly with the sensitive subject matter, although, you can probably guess what happens anyway just by reading Chapter 1 and if you know anything about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow...well, he likes to mess with people...mentally. To put it very mildly.

Now it's time for the voting. I have three different scenarios I've come up with that are variations/alternate versions of the current "Volunteer" fic's concept/storyline. I'd like followers to select 1 (one) alternate telling of the fic. I will open anonymous asks again, so if you are shy or just want your vote to remain a secret for some other reason, then that's fine by me. Otherwise, you can reply to this post with your choice.

Edit: if you are turned off by the idea of a Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, I get it. I don't read crossover fics myself, and that's usually because the crossovers either make no sense or do make sense but the ideas are poorly executed.

This crossover I'm talking about, though, isn't a full-on crossover of MK and Batman. There's no world-building, no larger plot, and no other characters in MK even appear or are mentioned except Erron Black and Cassie Cage.

If anything, it's more of a Batman Arkhamverse standard AU with Riddler and a female oc, and Erron and Cassie are the only concrete elements of MK brought in. I mean, yes, the other MK characters exist, I guess, but they have no purpose in this crossover I've written, and won't make any appearances.

So, if you had any concerns about the crossover aspect, I hope this clears things up

Choices below the cut!

A) "Don't You Wish"

This version is inspired by a song from Pink, called, "There You Go." In this alternate telling, Erron manages to survive Scarecrow's fear toxin, and escape (most likely because Erron is out of his mind and panicking, thus not a threat, and he has no one to help him, so Scarecrow doesn't give a damn what happens to the dude). The first thing Erron does is go to Sara's place, having already broken up with Cassie after realizing dating her was a mistake, and Sara means more to him than he thought.

Well, it's been several months since Sara basically pushed Erron out of her life for his poor choice in women, and (Arkham Knight) Edward Nigma has proven to be a much better (and, wiser and more sensible -- yes, I know, but he's not a skirt chaser, Guys) friend to Sara. While Erron ran off with a blonde selfie princess, Edward offered genuine comfort and companionship, and now Sara has been in the process of moving on from Erron even further.

Sara humors Erron and lets him tell her -- while sounding terrified, confused, and conflicted beyond belief thanks to the fear toxin -- what happened to him. Now, Sara doesn't know Edward asked Scarecrow to take care of Erron as a means of getting revenge for her. Doesn't matter anyway. She's unsympathetic towards Erron's plight, feeling as if he didn't even give her a chance to confess her feelings towards him, nor did he even seem to notice how she felt; it was like he was too busy with thinking with his privates to realize he had someone in front of him who would have treated him better.

Sara tells Erron -- in a flat, disinterested tone -- that his situation is tragic and all but wtf is she supposed to do? Why not go to his dumb blonde gf? Oh, they broke up? Well, how predictable. And Crane is also a (sort of) friend to Sara, which shocks Erron and leaves him feeling worse than before.

Sara sends Erron on his way, and he wanders off in a daze, unsure of what to do with his life now.

Sara and Edward meet the next day, and they have a pleasant time, obviously moving towards becoming a couple. She chooses not to mention Erron as she is completely severing the cowboy from her life.

B) "I Don't Even Miss You"

This alternate telling is similar to the previous one, but this time it's inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "WTF Do I Know" (Hey, her Plastic Hearts album is actually fantastic!), and Edward is with Sara when Erron arrives at her place in a distressed state. At first, Sara deals with Erron in the hall of her apartment building, unsympathetic to his plight and basically telling him, "I told you so," and "too bad." Erron is getting more and more upset, even angry at Sara's callous tone, and starts to raise his voice, demanding to know why she is being so cold at a time like this?

Edward overhears Erron raising his voice to Sara, giving her a difficult time, and he gets pissed. Edward steps out into the hall and not only mocks Erron in various ways, but demands that he leave immediately, or what Scarecrow did will seem like a trip to Disney Land. Erron has caused Sara -- who is currently moving on and growing closer to Edward -- enough problems and heartache.

Edward reveals he set up Erron, and while Sara is stunned to find this out, she handles it better than expected. Edward said it was his way of getting revenge for her, and he'd do it again if need be. Erron is sent away feeling so much worse, feeling lost, hopeless, and betrayed.

Sara and Edward talk and she admits she's upset that he did something like this without speaking about it to her first. However, he explains that he genuinely did it for her and he doesn't want her to feel pain at the hands of some "idiotic cowman," who doesn't consider the feelings of others and who behaves like a greedy, violent Neanderthal. (And yes, Edward does care for Sara, and he didn't send Scarecrow after Erron out of jealousy -- maybe a little jealousy but it was mostly rage over Erron causing Sara so much emotional pain)

Sara means more to Edward than he can express, and he may not be the best when it comes to emotions, but he does care about her and wants her to be safe.

Sara forgives Edward, understanding that, through his heartfelt but very nervous and shy confession that he is sincere about his feelings for her, and they make amends. She of course tells him to never do something so extreme without consulting her first, though, because what happened to Erron -- while she doesn't care what happens to him in the slightest -- was a bit too much.

C) "Listen When the Devil's Calling"

Another title inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "Night Crawling," and this alternate telling involves Telltale Riddler and no Scarecrow. Almost a year has passed since Erron went with Cassie and Sara, out of bitterness and heartache, refused to speak or see him. This didn't sit well with him as she was his only friend, and his relationship with Cassie dies within a few months.

He goes looking for Sara, realizing she has moved out of her apartment. It doesn't take him long to find out where she is, and she's with The Riddler, a notorious criminal genius and one of Gotham's elite villains. Erron is worried for Sara and seeks her out.

Turns out, Sara's just fine. This isn't one of those scenarios where the girl is with a guy who just using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. No, Edward does actually love her and takes good care of her. He finds people like reckless, selfish, and ignorant people like Erron to be a disgrace but also amusing because of how pathetically primitive they are.

Edward also doesn't appreciate how Erron pushed aside a good thing in Sara to pursue a girl who is a social media brat and has more selfies on her phone than brain cells in her, well, brain. It defies all logic to Edward, but he's also not surprised because of how much of a disappointment Erron is as a human being (hey, this is Riddler we're talking about, and he's not one to be sweet and gentle to those he can't stand). Edward doesn't say these things out loud, though, as it's a bit too vulnerable and personal for him to do such a thing with someone he doesn't know or trust.

Sara is upset that Erron has resurfaced and she remembers how heartbroken she was when he went after Cassie Cage. She wants Erron to leave her alone like she asked, so she can move on. She can't trust him anymore, because he's just a skirt chaser in her eyes.

Erron tries to plead his case, tries to apologize to Sara, and expresses how he really feels, but this just distresses her further. Edward steps in and tells Erron he's done enough to Sara, she clearly doesn't want to see him, and he needs to take his leave.

This isn't a request.

Edward pulls Erron aside, telling the cowboy that the only reason he's going to walk away from this alive is that Sara hasn't asked for him to be killed. Should she tell Edward to take care of Erron, well, you all know what Telltale Riddler is like.

And those are the three variations on "Volunteer."

If you could be so kind as to:

leave a comment with your choice or

send an ask (even an anon ask) with your choice or

suggest your take on this story.

I'd appreciate it immensely!

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my writing and being patient with my sluggish publishing schedule!

[tthankstoyou]

Assign glee characters songs from Taylor's Red album if you want. It can be because you'd think they'd sound good or because it just fits

Ahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!!! I literally love this ask so much, answering it was a lot of fun💖💖💖

I didn’t give every glee character a song & I gave a few people/ships multiple songs. Also! I hope you don’t mind that I added a few non-canon ships <3

I put everything under the cut since it got hella long, it’s hard for me to shut up sometimes 😳

• State of Grace: I feel like this is a really good Finchel duet. Finn and Rachel loved each other so much and left a lasting impact on each other’s lives (especially Rachel). I can see them singing this after Rachel heals from from their s4 breakup (so Finn’s still alive). Hmmmm I’m thinking they sing this at the failed Wemma wedding when they reunite.

• Red: Ok get this, Pezberry duet after their s5 fight (but like a romantic relationship, not platonic). But like when they’re at the stage before they make up & they realize how much they miss each other. They switch the male pronouns for female ones tho.

• Treacherous: This doesn’t fit any storylines for her, but I think Santana would sound beautiful if she sang this song. I don’t know any singing terms, so stick with me here. I think that Santana should’ve sung more soft songs (you know, like ‘Songbird’) & I think ‘Treacherous’ would’ve utilized how soft her voice can sound, but also how powerful it can be. Like since the song goes from slow paced and builds up to something faster and more powerful (this prob makes no sense)

• I Knew You Were Trouble: Quinn sings this after she see’s that Puck was s/exting Santana at their sleepover! She was ready to raise a baby with this man even though she knew about his reputation. Quinn thinks that she should’ve known better, but it’s too late for that and now her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

• All Too Well: Kurt sings this after Blaine tells Kurt that he cheated. I think he should sing this in the breakup episode when he should be sleeping, but his thoughts are keeping him up. Like how he tells Finn that he barely slept. I think Kurt singing this would be kind of like why Taylor wrote it, he’s trying to understand where and why everything went wrong.

• 22: I would LOVE for Madison and Kitty to sing this during the party in Rachel’s basement in s6. I chose that pairing since they all had to sing duets in that episode and I would kill to hear those girls sing a song together. Also I can totally see everyone having a great time on the dance floor, kind of like how everyone was partying during ‘Somebody Loves You.’ I think this would be a good song to keep the energy up.

• I Almost Do: I want Marley to sing this so bad. Not for any particular reason, I just think it would go really well with her voice.

• We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: (Jarley endgame my beloved BUT) Marley sings this after her breakup with Jake. I think she’d sing this after she opens her locker and a whole bunch of flowers that Jake put in there fall out. She’s starting to get fed up with Jake begging for her to come back & she decides that the best way to get her feelings across is to sing this song to him in the middle of glee club.

• Stay Stay Stay: I don’t have a specific situation I want her to sing this in, but I think Tina would sound AMAZING on this song. Like it’s such a fun song & I can so see her singing it because it’s underrated just like her.

• The Last Time: Rachel sings this when she’s on her way back to Lima in the breakup episode to talk to Finn.

• Holy Ground: I feel like this would be SUCH a good song for Mercedes about her relationship with Sam. Like she’s being her pop star self and sees something that reminds her of Sam while on tour. She’s filled with nothing but good memories. She’ll always have love for him in her heart. AND omg the line “And I see your face now in every crowd” because Sam was her biggest fan and always will be.

• Sad Beautiful Tragic: This would be a good song for Blaine to sing after the s4 Klaine breakup. Like I think this would fit perfectly w/ how the song is about how distance tore them apart in the long run. The whole bridge fits their situation so well, especially the lines “Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting / Silence, the train runs off its tracks / Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?”

• The Lucky One: This song is deadass about Rachel. It would be wrong to assign it to anyone that isn’t her. Like she was a star who moved to L.A. to make her name even bigger. She quickly learned though that Hollywood life wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. She had to leave town to save face. Here are some lines that fit perfectly imo: “You had it figured out since you were in school” & “And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out”

• Everything Has Changed: I feel like this would be a super cute Hevans duet. I have no real explanation, I just want them to sing this soooo bad... maybe during duets week...

• Starlight: This would be such a fun group number at the end of an episode. I want the leads for this song to be Artie, Tina, and Unique. I think they'd make this number a lot of fun and I would love to hear the three of their voices in a song together.

• Begin Again: Quinn sings this song about the first girl she dates, mainly because there's nothing more gay than meeting someone in a cafe. The other man that she’s comparing the person she’s with to symbolizes all the men she’s dated. The line "I've been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end” is about how Quinn isn’t the best at relationships. All she wants is to be loved, but she hurts everyone she’s with. But with this girl, it’s like none of that matters.

• The Moment I Knew: Kitty sings this about Artie when he forgets about her while she’s in New York. I don’t think it would fit any specific canon event, but I can imagine something similar to the song happening to them & Kitty just knowing that this was the end.

• Come Back...Be Here: Brittany sings this because of how she wants nothing more than Santana to be there with her. Like she said before they broke up that she feels like she’s suffocating with Santana & I think that this song would help Brittany convey how she feels.

• Girl At Home: I don’t know why, but I want Artie to sing this. I just think he’d have fun with it.

[t-o-m-hollands]

Tom x You

Summery: Tom and his brothers have a pub. You, trying to avoid working on your new album, spend most of your time in there. Lots of flirting and bickering ensues.

Themes: Sort of frienemies to lovers, slow burn, mutual attraction but they are both to dumb to realise. General dumbness all around. Idiots in love.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Drinking and swearing. Smut in future chapters.

PART I of IV

***

At 8 years of age your father hands you a worn guitar and with the patience of a saint teaches you how to make it play the holiest of sounds. Every day you practise, until your fingertips has hardened and they move effortlessly over the strings.  

At 10 years of age you write your first song. It’s a puerile little tune about a sweet boy with hair like honey and an opportunity lost. It’s repetitive and nonsensical but your mother hums the chorus for weeks after hearing it.

At 14 years of age you meet up with a record label and when signing the dotted line on the contract you feel a chill down your spine and your grandmother’s stories about the crossroad demon comes back to you verbatim. With determination you still put your name on the paper in a signature you’ve spent hours practising. Only days later you hear your voice on the radio for the very first time.

At 17 years of age there are headlines in magazines about you, photos of men they claim you’ve dated and interviews with people who claim to be a ‘close source’ to you, even though you’ve never met them, spilling lies on every page. You find out your closest friend has sold information about you to the tabloids for over a year.

At 19 years of age you go on a world tour, though the only parts of the world you see are airports, hotels and playing venues and then later at night: nightclubs. You travel the world, but you learn nothing about it.

At 22 years of age and your boyfriend breaks up with you for an actress. There isn’t a day that year that tabloids don’t ‘report’ on it. He spends most of the time telling the world how much happier he is in his new relationship, and you spend most of your time staring down into a bottle.  

At 24 years of age you feel drained, dog-tired and worn out. On a regular basis there’s photos of you stumbling out of pubs, bars and restaurants all over the internet. Your record label is threatening a lawsuit and you haven’t talked to your manager in weeks. You have no friends and your family doesn’t know what to do with you.  

Okay, so maybe being a successful singer isn’t all that it’s cut out to be. Especially not when the entirety of the internet is making fun of you.  

And yes, maybe you’re in a flunk and haven’t written anything decent in months. And okay, maybe you haven’t even picked up a guitar in weeks. And maybe throwing away your phone in order not to have to face the record label was a bad idea. And maybe, hand on heart, the right solution to your problems is not to waste your days away in a well-hidden pub in a backstreet in London with the cutest pub owner you’ve ever seen, with biceps that makes you want to drool. A pub owner who has no interest in you and finds you annoying beyond belief.  

Yet here you are,  

again.

***

“It’s Tuesday” Tom informs you as he hands you cherry coke and a straw.

So, it goes like this. Tom is obsessed with time. He’s always informing you of either what day of the week it is, or the time of day. As if he’s trying to shame you into realising that 10 am on a Tuesday is not an acceptable time to order a dry martini.  

“So?” You ask, feigning ignorance as you open the can. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed that this is a coke and in fact completely free of alcohol. I mean in the good ol’ day they at least had the cutesy to put cocaine in there.”.

“Don’t worry” he says, scrubbing the surface of the already clean counter-top “there’s a shit load of other stuff that’ll destroy your insides in there”.

You try not to roll your eyes, honestly you do. You fail. “Oh no, is it sugar? Please, doctor say it isn’t sugar!” you wail dramatically.

“No, not just sugar” and you can tell he’s also trying not to roll his eyes at your exaggerated play acting. “You know, I saw this documentary once about what they put in coca cola and –”

“No, nope, no, no. Absolutely not” You shake your head vehemently as if that will stop his words. "I would literally rather hear you talk about goddamn golf for an hour than put me of one of life’s few great pleasures”.

This time he doesn’t manage to stop himself from rolling his eyes at you. “Oh, I think we both know you find more pleasures in life than coca cola”.

Before you can answer him something insanely witty the door to the office behind the bar opens and an anxious looking Harrison step out. “Tom, Sam says the fish delivery didn’t show up again so we’re out of cod and therefore fish ‘n chips.”  

Tom rubs his face, looking worried. “Alright, I’ll call him up and see what happened.”  

But Harrison still looks tense. “Also…” he trails off, losing courage.  

“Also, what?” And Tom too sounds tense now.  

“Well, Downey from the bank called, he says the invoice is way over due and he wants a meeting. I told him you’d call today”.  

Tom keeps rubbing his forehead, as if to literally fight of a migraine, and his shoulders tense. “Yeah, yeah I’ll call him this afternoon”. Harrison nods and walks back into the kitchen

“You know, I cou –” but you don’t get to finish your sentence before he interrupts you. “Don’t” he says, voice sharp as a whip.

“But, it would just be a loan, honestly I – ”

“No, and I mean it.” And you judging by the tone of voice he uses and the stern look he gives you you’re well aware that he isn’t joking. It’s like his usually warm and kind eyes are nailing you down into your seat. “I’m not gonna borrow money from a customer, as you well know.”  

The problem is that really wouldn’t be a big deal for you to offer him a loan or give it as a gift really. You love this pub. You love the people working here and the patrons and coming in for a drink or a meal or simply a chat and a laugh. It’s your safe haven. No one ever hardly ever bothers you here. No one asks you for a selfie or asks you about when more music is coming out. No one tugs at your sleeve or try to sneakily take a photo of you. Here, you are normal. And it would devastate you to see the Holland boys lose it all when you know you can help. You have more money than you know what to do with.  

However, you know there’s no arguing with him when he’s got that look on his face so you don’t, just keep sipping on your cherry coke as your foot taps along to the song on the radio. From inside the kitchen you can hear the faint sound of the Holland twin's laughter.  

Tom turns away from you to sort out the whiskey glasses on the counter behind him. But when picking up a glass he fumbles, and it falls out of his hand and lands right on his foot, though it fortunately doesn’t break.

“Ah, fucking bastard!” he shouts, grabbing hold of his injured foot.

“You shouldn’t swear in church, you know” ¨you say, as you finish your coke.

He looks at you indignantly, pouting like a child, “well, lucky for me, this is a pub.”

“You say potato, I say tomato, now make me a real drink.”

“For fucks sake, darlin’, you gotta eat something.”

***

So, it’s either late or early, depending how you look on it. On tube stations all across London early worker are already gathering on the platforms to take their commute to work. Not you. Not Tom either.  

Now, Tom is an early riser and has been since childhood. His nanna used to say that he had energy enough for three children. Despite regular closing shifts at the pub he likes to be up at dawn. Says he likes to get an hour at the gym and a walk with Tessa in before he heads to the pub to make sure everything is in order. After having checked with Sam that everything is stocked for the day, he has his protein loaded breakfast while ordering supplies or read through whatever paper work he need to be on top off before opening up the pub for the day.  

Tom hates having this routine disturbed.

So, it goes like this. Harry had been the bartender most of that night, since Tom had ‘other business to take care of’. Whenever Harry was bartender he’d usually spent more time drinking with you than he did serving up the other costumers. When Tom came back and saw the state of you, he’d sent you home, telling you that you’d had enough for one night and asking Harrison to walk you home. Then he’d giving Harry a proper telling off. You had dutifully walked with Harrison to your apartment, thanked him sweetly, and then as soon as you saw that he had passed the corner walked into another pub just across the street for more. It wasn’t as charming a place as The Hollands and their bartender sure wasn’t as handsome or as fun to annoy as the regular one at Hollands. But in a pinch, anything will do.  

Upon closing hour however, as you made your way home, you’d discovered that your keys were missing. Being absolutely wasted this did not worry you in the slightest. You just strolled back on unsteady legs to The Hollands to see if you’d dropped them there. Tom, who had closed the pub for the night, was still in. From the windows you could see him going through stacks of paperwork in front of him, a frown on his face. Upon hearing you knocking on the window at 2 am he’d jumped out his chair to see what was going on. When seeing you three sheets to the wind, dressed in a thin dress on a cold summer’s night the frown on his face had gotten worse.

Now here you are, in his apartment, in the dead of the night, and he’s offering you a plate of tortellini. Tessa had been overjoyed to see you and after having been allowed to greet you she had then been sent to her place and out of the way of your drunk, stumbling feet.

“But I hate tortellini” you whine.

“Christ sake, Popstar, just eat the damn food”

“No, I hate it, Tom, I hate it so much, it makes me think of- of- ” you hiccup.

“Are you actually crying right now?”

“It makes me think of- of - cheese sauce and -”

“Sorry, but what now?”

“And – I – I – I hate cheese sauce”. You’re full on sobbing and he just stares at you in disbelief.  

Then, somehow the world seems fall the wrong way around. It takes you a second to realize that you’ve slid down on the floor and that you’re staring up at the ceiling. Tom’s strong arm take a hold of you and he guides you to a sitting position, leaned up against the wall. With your face in his hands he stares at you in indignation but there’s something else there too. You’re drunk enough to dare to call it tenderness.  

Suddenly you’re aware that you’re sobbing, but you can’t remember why that is.

“Fuck who knows” he responds and when you give out a sound that’s something halfway between a sob and a laugh he starts laughing too. “If I make you something else to eat, will you eat it then? You’ll feel better in the morning if you do”.

Your head feels heavy, so you lean it against his hand and nod. “No cheese sauce, please”.

He rolls his eyes, but he’s laughing too. “Sure, no cheese sauce for Pop Princess.”

“Oi!” You call out “You promised to never to call me that!” Pop Princess was the title the tabloids had given you early on in your career. He keeps smiling, but it’s a gentle smile, and trace the frown between your eyebrows with his finger, as if he’s trying to erase it.

“Will you please just sit here while I cook?”

You nod again, too tired to say anything. He gets up, and you can hear some pouring water and then he places a glass of water in your hand. “Drink” he orders, then he’s gone again, and you can hear the clattering of pots and pans as he starts cooking. You’re just staring into the wall, trying to make it stop spinning; limbs heavy with sleep and whiskey, a nice buzzing numbness in your head.

Then he’s in front of you again, looking at you with a frown “I thought I told you to drink that” and you look at the full glass clasped in your hands. “Seriously, you’ll feel better if you do”.

You roll your eyes “oh, please, Tommy. Remember who you’re speaking to. I’m the local drunk, there’s no need to lecture me in hangovers”. But you do as you’re told and chug down your drink and hand him the empty glass. “Good girl” he says and gets back to his cooking. Before long the delicious scent of food is spreading through the tiny, cramped kitchen.

You start humming a song you wrote years ago but never released, low enough so you think Tom won’t hear you over the sizzling pan. But he does.  

“What’s that?” he asks, curiosity in his voice.

“Oh” you say, leaning your head back against the wall as you close your eyes in the hope that the world will stop spinning. “Just a song.”

Everything goes quiet for a while and you find yourself wondering if you’ve fallen asleep. But then you hear his voice. “Keep singing, please”.  

It surprises you, the amount of tenderness in his words; such a gentle bequest. So, you do as you’re told. In a voice raspy from the whiskey but sweet from his kindness you sing.

“I’ve been holding my breath, I’ve been counting to ten, 

Over something you said, I’ve been holding back tears 

 While you’re throwing back beers, I’m alone in bed

You know I, I’m afraid of change, Guess that’s why we stay the same, 

So tell me to leave, I’ll pack my bags, get on the road, 

Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know, 

'Cause you remind me every day, I’m not enough, but I still stay”

You trial off and he keeps quiet too and goes silent again. Then he slides down beside you, a plate of pasta carbonara in his hands which he offers you along with a fork. “Eat” he orders gently. You do, and it tastes delicious.

“God, Tom, you could rival Sam in the kitchen”.

He snorts but you persist. “Seriously Tommy, I’d hire you as a private chef if I didn’t know you’d be an insufferable employee”.

He snorts again, but you can tell he’s amused. “Wow, thanks a lot”

“Seriously, you’d always complain about my lack of organization, or the fact that I keep all of my face masks in the refrigerator, or that I never have any food at home or that I don’t eat at regular hours or that I sometimes just forget to eat and just have a Red bull for dinner instead or that I – ”

“Jesus Christ” he interrupts you “who the fuck let you be an adult? What’s wrong with you!?”

You’re wolfing down your food, so it takes you a moment to answer. “Someone said my problem was ‘a mind-boggling lack of general discipline and a staggeringly low ability to organise’” you finally say.

“Who said that? I mean they’re not wrong”.

“You said that” you point out as you finish your plate of carbonara. “Also, this was scrumptious, and also, may I sleep here tonight?”

He looks at you in disbelief “Yeah, duh, I’m not kicking you out? I mean, I thought that was the general idea of this”.

He grabs a hold of your plate and takes your hand in his other as he guides you both up to a standing position. He places the plate among the other dirty pans in the sink and then lead you to his bathroom. Giving you a new toothbrush, he orders you to brush your teeth while he changes his sheets. He hands you a shirt to sleep in and when you’ve changed you argue for a good 10 minutes while about who’s to sleep on the couch before he puts his foot down and say he’ll ban you from his pub unless you take the bed instead of him. So, you do.  

His bed soft and comfortable and smell of his detergent. From the living room you can hear Tessa’s deep breaths and the sound of Tom tossing around on the sofa. You wonder how uncomfortable he is.

“Tommy just come in here instead” you call out, voice drowsy.

“No, I told you, you take the bed”

You snort. As if you were going to give this bed up, no chance. Not now that you know how comfortable it is.  

“Yeah, duh” you answer. “Wasn’t planning on taking the sofa, but the bed’s big enough for the two of us, innit?”

Dead silence from the living room. Even Tessa seems to have been struck silent.

“You sure?”

You sigh. “Yeah, I'm sure, for fuck’s sake Tommy, just come in here”.

You hear the sound of footsteps slowly making their way across the floor, then he’s in the doorway. Clad in a pair of black boxers and a black t-shirt, awkwardly scratching the back of his head as he avoids looking at you.

You pull down the covers and he lay down beside you, keeping his distance in the bed. You have your backs against each other, staring into separate walls and even through the whiskey you can tell this is awkward. You want to ask him to hold you, but you’re scared he doesn’t want it. Scared he doesn’t even want to lay beside you. You are after all just a costumer in his bar. A costumer you know he can’t afford to lose.

You don’t know how long you lay there in silence, his scent surrounding you, the soft sound of his breath lulling you into further relaxation but eventually you drift off to sleep.  

When you wake, he’s gone. A note on his pillow tells you he’s gone to the gym, telling you to take anything you want for breakfast and just leave the keys at the pub later.  

When you close the door behind you you can’t help but feel that something tender happened in there, something important; but you know he doesn’t feel the same.

***

It’s Monday night, as Tom has been so kind to remind you off, and you’re plastered.  

Earlier the pub had been full to rim of football supporters shouting and singing and sharing pints before a big game, filling the entire place with an excited buzz. Now they’ve all gone off to cheer for their heroes on the field and only the patrons remain.  

Harry is bartender tonight, and Tom has placed himself in the back of the pub, a stack of paper in front of him that he keeps leering at. With a drink in your hand and a happy-go-lucky attitude you seat yourself on the opposite side of his table, determent to cheer him up.

“’m gonna write a song about you.” You inform him, voice only somewhat slurry.

“Go on then.” He doesn’t look up at you, just jots something down on the form in front of him. He’s wearing glasses tonight and they make him look so handsome you want to scream in frustration.

“Well, what rhymes with Tom? Rum!”

“Oh, Christ, no. No, I’ve changed my mind.”

“Tom, he serves rum and tequila.” You sing. “Wait, what rhymes with tequila?”

“Please don’t”

“Heliophilia!”

“Okay, ’m literally begging you not to do this.” He’s looking at you now, his caramel eyes filled with both amusement and genuine dread. You don’t listen, no, you sing.

“Tom, he serves Rum and tequila,

he loves the sun, it’s called heliophilia

his pub needs fundin’, he lives in London”

“Wow. That is a hell of a forced rhyme, pop princess.”

“No, no wait!”

“Wait? I will literally pay you to stop”.

But then you start singing for real, in a voice so sultry that it makes him freeze mid motion, hand just about to turn the page over.

“Have you’ve seen my bartender

he’ll serve you whiskey, he’ll pour you rum

so sweet it’ll make you tender

but all the whiskey in Tennessee

couldn’t have that man agree

to ever share a drink with thee

no, all that sweetness’s just for me

cause babe, he’s my bartender

Yes, have you’ve seen my bartender

He’ll hand you wine, he’ll sell you gin

I think it’s a sign when he hands me my wine

When hand’s touching hand, skin touches skin”

Tom seem to be frozen in place when you stop, and over at the bar you hear Harry give a loud whistle. “Fucking hell, popstar” he cheers.

Tom still doesn’t say anything, just observes you, seemingly speechless. And maybe you’re imagining it, but he’s cheeks seem pinker than usual.

"Well, at least I didn’t rhyme rum with cum” you say, trying to get a reaction out of him. And then “I did think about doing it though” and you lift your glass to him as if in a toast before you down it.

He snorts, back to his normal self and stare down at the paper again.

“Now, honestly, Tom. What did that piece of paper ever do to you?”

“Huh?”

“You’re staring at it like you want to set fire to it. You’d like me to do it for you?”

“No thanks, reckon he’d sue”.

“Who is he?” you lean over the table and closer to him and you swear you can practically see him ordering himself not to look down at your cleavage. “Is he god?” you whisper in mock horror. “Cause, I wouldn’t worry too much, Tommy. You see, God can’t sue. Well, someone in America tried to sue Satan once and they couldn’t cause they couldn’t hand him the papers. Turns out Satan hasn’t got an address. Reckon the same goes with God”

He rolls his eyes “oh, this guy definitely has got an address. He lives in Knightsbridge.” And then, in a voice unusually bitter he adds “posh twat”.

“Oy” you warn, jokingly, “those are my neighbourhoods'”.  

A sound somewhere between a scoff and a laugh escapes him “Oh please” he laughs “please, you might live in Primrose Hill now, but you’re not Knightsbridge posh. Sorry to disappoint, Pop Princess”.

You glare, but it’s all in good humour. “So, who is this not-God-but-rich-as-God man sending you paper?”

The humour disappears from his face. “Downey, from the bank”.  Then he turns to the bar and shouts, “Harry, hand me a pint, ye?”

“And a whiskey for me, please” you request sweetly.

“No way, Harry, she’s cut off for the night. Tell Sam to make her something to eat” he orders his younger brother who rolls his eyes but obediently begin to head into to the kitchen.

“Not tort -” you begin shouting as an instruction.

“Not tortellini” he shouts at the same time. “And no cheese sauce either” he then adds.

You smile at him and this time you swear he’s blushing.

“Who’s Downey? You ask. And you know you’re prying, but you also know that Tom needs help with something and if there’s anything you can do to help, you will.  

“A bank man who wants me to pay my loans back”. He answers eventually after a long silence, when he figures you’re not going to give up and talk about something else. Harry comes back and hands Tom a pint and then leaves to take care of a costumer at the bar.

“A bank man, who lives in Knightsbridge?” You ask, bemused.

Tom smiles “oh, believe you me, Downey’s not your average bank clerk.” Then, in a serious tone, “look, I know you want to help, but there’s nothing you can do, ye? So drop it”.

“But I-”

“Drop it. Seriously, pop princess, there’s nothing you can do, I’ll figure something out”. He doesn’t sound harsh and the way he looks at you is positively adoring. Then he does something unexcepted. He reaches over the table and pulls a loose string of hair behind your ear. It’s a soft and sweet gesture and you want to reach over and kiss him but before you can he removes his hand and seconds later Harry places a dish of steaming pasta carbonara in front of you. You smile and thank him and he makes his way back to the bar.  

You eat in silence for a while as he continues to read through stashes of papers. You decide to leave the subject, for now at least.

“Yours is better, by the way”. He looks up at you, confused. “Your carbonara” you clarify. “I mean, Sam is an incredible chef and you’re lucky to have him, but yours is my favourite”.  

His cheeks heat up, again.

***

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