#but my top four for this ranking are all ones i'd like to see there

[andyoullhearitagain]

Every Starfleet Uniform Ranked By How Annoying The Sleeve Is To Sew, Part 2

Part 1

6. TOS Men's Uniform:

Here we have 1. Quite a severe curve 2. with a zipper in it 3. an invisible zipper at that 4. with pattern matching through the zipper at the collar

5. in velour (slippery). Woof.

7. Disco:

OK we've got two points of pattern matching, but they don't have to be too precise because they've got this round shiny striped piece between them. Of course that piecing means we're basically setting a sleeve in twice, but I will concede that the stretch will be more forgiving than a woven would be. Add in the piecing on the bicep and two different sticky rubber-y fabrics for further difficulty. 

8. TNG Version 2B and Voyager:

All the work of a tailored sleeve with an added inverse corner in an intersection of four seams.

PLUS two points of pattern matching, which is very tricky in an armsyce because you're trying to get the pitch right. You can see in TNG they often have trouble with it and have either a jog in the pattern matching

or too much ease in the wrong place to force the pattern to match.

They seem to have figured it out by Voyager though. I'm also fairly certain they have raglan shoulder pads in them instead of regular ones, which isn't really harder I guess but is a bit odd (no shade, they're incredibly flattering).

9. DS9/ TNG Movies:

All the difficulties of the TNG armscye and now we've added trim, meaning we really have four points of pattern matching instead of two. I could be persuaded that the contrast pieces are applied over the upper sleeve piece instead of pieced, which is easier than what TNG is doing.

10. Enterprise:

I think this is regular raglan sleeve and not some kind of half raglan/half set in sleeve like we see in TNG. Either way it's a bit easier than the TNG sleeve because the trim and yoke are applied on top and top stitched. But we've still got that mitered corner in our bias trim and our four points of pattern matching on the shoulder seam. And then we've also added like four zippers!!!

11. Picard:

What did the stitchers do to this designer? FOUR inverse corners (I guess at least it doesn't intersect a seam this time) PLUS the piecing at the cuff, PLUS all the pattern matching at the armscye, and all in stretch (I think). The only reason it's not the most difficult sleeve is because it looks fairly flat and I bet if you do a nice tight hand baste you can get everything lined up on the first try. Also this is not strictly speaking part of the sleeve but those little corners in the yoke? Good grief.

12. TNG Version 2A:

Never in my life have I seen an armscye like this. What is this even called? How do you construct it? I suppose I would sew the sleeve pieces together, set them in the armscye, then sew the raglan/yoke pieces together at the shoulder seam and then stitch them all the way across the front and then all the way across the back. But good grief. The ONLY other sleeve I could find remotely like this is this 1940s Simplicity pattern (it's on ebay if you want it).

With a few added seams you can imagine what these pattern pieces must look like.

13. TNG Version 1:

All the malarkey of 2A except you've got to do it in spandex. I'd pick wool any day. We also have a second yoke (?!) so now we have to do that little inverse corner TWICE and also add piping. Never in my life have I done an intersection of piping correctly the first time.

And then on top of all that it's ugly. Terrible sewing experience. Worst sleeve in Star Trek *bangs gavel*.

[tojistip]

The Doctor's Little Assistant.

ft. dottore !

sypnosis ; dottore rewards you for your hard efforts.

warnings ; top ! dottore , dottore is a warning himself , face fucking , power dynamics , boss n assistant relationships , degradation , slight praise , facials , light face slapping , lowkey rushed no bullying :'3

wc ; 1.6k. enjoy !!

Dottore's personal assistant. 

You're the only one allowed inside his lab, outside of his clones and his disgusting little lab-rats of course. You're one of the only ones he actually tolerates. You're always so good for him, tidying up his mess of an office when he doesn't ask and always bringing him extra coffee when you know he's running low on it.

He's almost certain he's not gonna kill you off like the others, he likes you.

He likes the way you immediately oblige like you even had a choice when he asks to experiment on you. "I'd be happy to, my lord." You say, giving him a smile and a nod. He knows that you're scared beneath your little act, he can just sense it, and he loves it. He gets off on your pain and fear, and he finds it amusing when you try to hold back your wails of pain. 

Dottore especially loves when you start to let tears run down your face because of how much it hurts. You're left trembling, sniffling every couple seconds as he unstraps you from the vivisection table, but you would be lying if you said there wasn't a part of you that secretly enjoys it. He's a sick and twisted sadist, and you like it.

He thinks you're so pretty with your tear stained face and ruined makeup. He just shakes his head when you complain about it as if you weren't the one crying.

Maybe if you had let him remove your tear glands and ducts it wouldn't be an issue.

Dottore brings you to the fatui meetings too, he knows it's not allowed but he could care less. when Pierro reminds him that, "Anyone who isn't apart of the ranks, is strictly not allowed into the meetings." Dottore ignores him, and he keeps you right by his side, and when he can see your legs getting tired, he orders you to sit on his lap. He doesn't care when you get embarrassed, and he certainly doesn't care that his co-workers look at you two either, his sadistic smile only grows larger.

"You've been a very obedient girl as of recent, haven't you." It was an observation, but you still nod your head as if he just asked you a question while you try to avoid looking at his face. "Stupid little thing. Look at me when I talk to you." Dottore growls. He grabs your jaw with a vice like grip to make you look up at him and even though you can't see his eyes, you can still feel them on you. It feels like all the air has been knocked out of your lungs and you're quick to mutter out an apology. "Of course, my lord.. 'm sorry." 

"Good girl." He praises as he pulls his gloved hand away from your jaw. "I'd say an award is in order, hm?" He says as he starts walking over to a swivel chair that's behind you. You want to follow him but in fear of being disobedient, you stay frozen in place. As he sits down, he calls out your name and you're quick to turn around to face him. 

"Crawl to me."

You stand there for a moment, processing his words, feeling the heat slowly creeping into your cheeks. "Yes, my lord," you manage to spit out. Despite the embarrassment, you comply, dropping to your knees and then shifting onto all fours, moving toward him as instructed. Each movement is deliberate, the anticipation building with every inch closer to him. Finally, you find yourself between his legs, facing him on your knees, your heart pounding in your chest.

As you settle between Dottore's legs, your heart begins to race due to anticipation. You can feel his gaze piercing through you and it sends shivers down your entire body as you wait for his next command.

Dottore smirks, relishing in the control he holds over you. "Always so good," he murmurs, his voice laced with dark amusement. "You know exactly how to please me." You lower your gaze, feeling the weight of his words like chains around your neck. "Thank you, my lord," you mumble obediently, your voice barely above a whisper.

His smirk only widens as he looks down at you, reveling in the power he holds. His gloved hand reaches out, fingers curling under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The leather feels cold and unyielding against your skin. "You look good on your knees," he muses, his tone dripping with sadistic undertones. "Maybe I should make you my desk pet."

You whine and swallow hard at the suggestion, feeling a mix of fear and excitement coil in your belly. "Please," you whisper, your voice trembling slightly and truthfully you don't even know what you're asking for. The way he looks down upon you, like he knows you're inferior to him, sends shivers down your spine.

He releases your chin and leans back in his chair, spreading his legs slightly to give you more room. "You know what to do," he commands, his voice cold and demanding. "Show me how compliant you really are, love."

Oh fuck.

The pet name almost kills you and it makes your breath hitch. You nod anyway, reaching up with shaky hands to unbuckle his belt. You can feel Dottore watching you as you do so and you can feel your face burning with embarrassment. But you push through, determined to please him.

As you pull down his trousers, you're met with the sight of his cock straining against his boxers. it sends a jolt of arousal through you, and you can't let out a soft moan at the sight. Dottore's chuckle is low and menacing, his hand coming to rest on the back of your head. "Come on," he urges, his voice low and almost taunting. "You know better than to keep me waiting."

You comply and pulling down his boxers, freeing his cock and you can't take your eyes off of it. You lean in, pressing a tentative kiss to the tip and licking a long stripe up the side. Dottore's grip on your hair tightens, and he lets out a breath of approval. "Good girl," he murmurs. "Now take me in your mouth,"

You comply almost instantly. You open your mouth, taking his cock in slowly with your tongue swirling around the tip. Him in general but especially the taste of him is intoxicating, and you can feel the heat between your legs growing with each passing second. You hollow your cheeks, taking him deeper, and his low groan of pleasure spurs you on.

Dottore's other hand joins the first, holding your head steady as you bob up and down. "Such a whore," he degrades, his voice laced with arousal. "You take me so well. You were made for this, weren't you?"

You moan around his cock, the vibrations making him hiss. His voice and his words a thrill through you, and you try taking him deeper into your mouth, wanting nothing more than to please him. Your pace quickens, your movements becoming more desperate as you lose yourself in the task.

Dottore's grip tightens painfully, and he thrusts his hips up, forcing himself deeper into your throat. "This is what you wanted, hm." He says, and though it was a statement, you still try to nod your head stupidly. In the process you gag, tears springing to your eyes, but you don't stop and neither does he. "That's right, gag on it." His groans grow louder, his breathing becoming more ragged. "You're so pathetic."

Your eyes water as you look up at him, the tears only serving to heighten his pleasure as he loves to see you cry. He smirks down at you, his thumb brushing away a tear that escapes down your cheek. "Pretty little thing.." He murmurs. "Take it, take it deeper."

He holds you there for a moment longer before finally releasing your head. You pull back, gasping for air, your lips swollen and wet with saliva. His chest is heaving up and down while you wrap your hands around the length of his cock. "I'm gonna cum," he groans, "Gonna paint your pretty face."

 Dottore pries your hands away from his cock and begins to stroke himself. You whine at the sight in front of you. "Please," you breathe out. He scoffs in amusement before slapping the tip of his cock on your cheek. "Open your mouth."

You instantly obey, looking up at him and sticking your tongue out. You're gross and messy right now but you know he likes seeing you ruined, especially if he's the cause. You're watching him stroke his cock from above you, pressing his thumb to the swollen and leaking tip. 

Your needy whines must've been just what Dottore needed to drive him over the edge. He groans as he reaches his climax and his free hand reaches for your jaw with a tight grip to hold you in place. Thick ropes of cum soon cover not only your chest, but your face and tongue as well. You keep your mouth open in an attempt and in hope to catch more of his cum on your tongue.

As soon as he comes down from his high, his hand comes down to slap your cheek and command you to swallow the bits that landed in your mouth. You oblige. He takes one more good look at you before tucking himself back into his boxers and pulling his pants up. "Clean yourself up." He spits coldly, and you nod. "Yes, my lord."

"When you're done, there's some paperwork I need you to get from The Regrator's office. Once you get it, bring it back here and I'll reward you once more."

[sector38]

From Sector: 38

Entry: II

After my last "encounter," my mind was made – I couldn't just sit at the edge of the sector staring out at the abyss – a hunger had made itself a home inside of me, nested under my bosom and in between my ribcage. For what it was worth, I could now say I was the proud owner of a brand new sector pass (actually in date this time), meaning I could also now apply for a real job. Before, it felt like I was wading through murky waters devoid of a lighthouse: without any sense of direction or purpose, but now I knew where I was going, who I was to be, and what I was to become – a xenologist.

It wasn't the easiest job. When I told my friends, they outright laughed. Sure, the world wasn't what it used to be – fancy bits of laminated paper were all lost to the flood – but that didn't mean that anyone could just walk in with zero qualifications, no questions asked. This was especially so for jobs that didn't exist pre-flood (including but not limited to, you guessed it, xenology). Before, if the job existed, maybe I would have gone to some elite university and collected my certificate that, for some reason, was meant to equate four years of my life, with a smile – now, we had the circuits.

On the bright side, it was a shorter process, 6-12 months if you survived that long and shorter if you didn't. I didn't know the process that well (sue me), but I knew that I would be starting at the outer tier, maintenance (glorified clean-up crew) and working my way in, each stage more deadly than the last until finally I reached the core, or as its more commonly known, "The Arena." I could never just choose the easy path.

I knew I should have been nervous, but... I just wasn't. I guess after the encounter, it was hard to feel like I hadn't been given some top-secret information that put me ahead. I hadn't really had the time to think about it, or I did, but there wasn't really much to say or do. It wasn't like I could tell anyone – I don't know what would have been worse: them not believing me or their faces of disgust.

When all countries were dissolved, you'd have liked to think everyone would lose their patriotism (you know, considering there were no more countries to worthlessly devote themselves to) – wrong. The world became one big country, one metaphorical empire ruled by the human race. This meant anyone or anything not of the human race or not subservient to the human race (like my neighbour, Julie's pet squid) was technically considered an enemy of the state.

Wait, did I fuck a public enemy?

First-day jitters were nothing in comparison to whatever I was feeling, especially considering this wasn't even my first day more like a very short tester solo shift - in all my time on sector 38 I'd never felt seasick (probably because the plates don't move) and yet here I was suddenly greatly empathetic towards the poor souls who found themselves violently ill holidaying in pacific waters. I could barely walk straight, my legs felt like jelly, and my stomach was so heavy I genuinely wondered if I'd swallowed an anchor between breakfast and lunch.

Even now, i still don't understand why i was alone during my tester shift? I get that it was just three tasks, but typically, unless you're a high-level, you're not to be left alone - always followed by a superior. Still, as i said, it wasn't even like I was going to be doing much, according to the alerts who sent me my assignments the night before my shift

. Stack the crates

. File away medical instruments

. Clean the pods on deck Xv_2

Pretty standard stuff, to be honest. If i cared half as much as i should, I'd be outraged that they gave me such menial work - but i didn't, so i wasn't. All i cared about was getting to see more of them, speak to them, and understand them, and the only way to do that was to become a xenologist.

At that point, I couldn't care less about hierarchy and ranks - i didn't understand the tangled web of beurocracy or how clearing badges worked, well not until I'd spent less than five seconds on the deck and i was promtly told

"Attention!"

The wooden crate I'd be carrying dropped to the ground with a hollow thud, the solid wood colliding with the metal flooring, making an awful cacophony. I looked up at the figure and saw a man dressed in a black suit with a white under shirt and black tie, on his black hair sat snug a white naval cap and across his chest a number of metal pins. He looked at me expectantly, i hadn't been told anyone else would be on shift as far as I knew I was supposed to meet my peers next week.

While trying to carefully stack the box in the appropriate space, I gave an awkward smile

"Hi"

Somehow, in a moment, his face grew colder, from freezing to a subzero tundra in an instant - I could tell he wanted to say more, to reprimand me, put me in place - but promtly his alarm sounded on his right wrist.

He left without a word, his face coloured with urgency.

To say I was confused would be an understatement. In the new world, the navy took on a more active role with the marines following suit to a lesser degree and the army taking the least precedence out of the three - so seeing a navy officer wasn't unheard of or even uncommon, but a lieutenant?

It just didn't make any sense, especially considering my work for today was entirely made up of menial tasks - and the look on his face as he left or even before that when I greeted him? I'm not in the navy, clearly so why what was he expecting me to do? Salute? Bowe? Kiss the ground beneath his feet?

It didn't matter, I told myself, i quite literally had one job: keep my head down and become a certified xenologist...well, aside from cleaning the pods on deck.

After stacking the last of the crates and refusing to give into my temptation of opening them, I set about trying to look for the ever elusive deck Xv_2

I mean, would it have KILLED them to give me a map or something? All the corridors looked the same - eggshell cream walls with blue strip lights - every turn, every left, every right didn't feel like it was getting me any closer, to be honest, I wasn't sure if this was some sort of time warp zone, an after effect of some eldritch creature washed up during the flood.

Wandering through the halls, I passed numerous rooms with bolted doors and bright yellow signs with bold black writing, as if they were so afraid that someone might accidentally open the securely locked doors - aside from doors armed to the teeth I passed a myriad of people, i can't really use one word to describe them:

From white coats with slicked-back hair, needle-straight posture to black suits, black ties, white collars, and broze pins to white hazmat suits and black boots.

Like some sort of machine, my brain was fixed on identifying and categorising my colleagues (colleagues). Well, that was until I heard it, tapping against the walls

It was faint at first, easily missable, but then the sounds grew louder, the rapid patter of the metal walls surrounding me like rain against the window - except there was nothing to see, no visible trace of the source of the sound just the noise, just the polyphonic array.

If this was a film, the corridors would be dimly lit with no signs of life but my own heartbeat and panting breath ringing in my ears, but this is the real world, if anything the bright neon lights and the industrious workers who I chanced upon only led to an increase in my anixety - it was as though i was going insane, as though i was being followed

"Could no one else hear that?"

The noise was atonal and offbeat - seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once, bouncing off the walls like an echo. My eyes darted around the corners of the walls as I discreetly tried to turn my head to locate the source of the sound only to be met with nothing. Whatever it was, it was quick. It was just too quick, the persistent creature darting always just out of sight.

Finally, after what felt like a literal millennia, I ran into a steal door labelled

Xv_2

I pushed both the persistent scurrying aside and the absurdly weighted door - inside a dimly lit room with large cylinders attached to the centre wall. To call it a deck seemed overly gracious, with the sizing being more akin to an office space or a large storeage room.

As i walked closer towards the cylinders, I understood why they needed to be cleaned - they were filthy, dust coating them in an opaque sheild blocking any possible view of whatever was sealed within them.

I grabbed the tissue pack I'd hastily shoved in my bra before leaving the house and stared at the cylinders - there was NO way they'd be enough. A part of me seriously thought about using my top, but the thought quickly vanished when i remembered I did actually have to leave the facility without being arrested for public indecency.

And that's when i felt it, a brush of cold air against my neck, raising my hair and sending a shiver down my spin. Instantly, I dropped my tissue pack on the small table and turned around but only to be met by nothing, empty space. I stared out at the room for a moment as though someone or something would magically appear it would probably still have only been the second strangest thing to happen to me as of last.After sufficiently staring out into an empty room I turned back around...

The tissues were gone.

I looked down at the floor, nothing. Half baked thoughts swirled around my head as i looked around the room

"I could have sworn i- did i bring them? Yes. Maybe i dropped them on a crate? No, i had them when-"

Finally, i got on my knees searching underneath the desk in hopes that somehow they'd fallen and I'd kicked them under. It was so dark I should have brought my phone or a flashlight or something, as I lent further under the desk the space narrowed which, if i was paying attention i would have known.

But, alas, i wasn't - instead, my mind was still fixed on how i needed to be more prepared in the future and how i shouldn't have a phone if i wasn't going to use it because the last time I didn't bring my phone i got-

Cold.

Cold air against my bare thighs, that feeling again. Except this time the cold felt more real? The touch more weighted less like the air and more like a person?

I stilled against the feeling, with every passing second the pressure grew till i could shape the outline: a hand.

I tried to move backwards from under the desk but promptly the feeling of another hand splayed across my waist - halting any movement. The hand across my waist kept a firm solid grip, with the cold air seeping through my clothes and onto my skin as though I were naked whilst the other fingers which previously splayed across my thigh began to move, inching ever so slowly towards my upper thigh.

Maybe it was the confusion or remnants of my first (but technically not first) day jitters. Maybe it was a cocktail of both, but I found myself slightly pushing towards the unknown force. Whatever it was must have taken that as a sign because suddenly, the fingers brushed in between my inner thighs dangerously close to my knickers.

I didn't know who or what was behind me, no-one else was in the room bar me and with only one entrance and exist it would have be impossible for anyone to come in without my knowledge - especially considering how heavy the door was.

This couldn't be a who, I thought. It must have been a what.

The thought excited me, that familiar warmth spreading in my lower stomach now juxtaposing the icy touch of the creature - I couldn't help but let out a breathy whimper. The creature must have heard because, within an instant, its cold finger pressed against my clothed entrance. The pressure was barely there, barely feelable almost imperceptible but that's what made is to so maddening - what made me push back against it despite the very firm hand on my waist.

We continued our dance: me pushing backwards, aching and desperate for any sort of relief or solid touch, and its outright reluctance to give it to me aside from the arctic hold on my mid section I could feel myself growing wetter, throbbing in a hot aching want. If i was capable of shame at that point, I would have been berating myself for wearing white panties instead of a more concealing black.

The feel of the wet material sticking to me and the mystery surrounding the strange figure was getting to be too much, I'd tried to bite my glossed lips concealing more whimpers and moans but i couldn't hold back anymore. I began to rock back harder, sounds slipping from my mouth like condensation down glass till the monster showed me mercy.

A cool finger began to push into me through my now presumably clear underwear, the sensation of wet cotton and the icy appendage dipping into me making me moan all the more - but it wasn't enough. I began to beg, pleas falling from my mouth faster than my brain could protest.

Cold and wet dragged along my cunt so abruptly I hit my head against the desk but I was too aroused to care - slowly the figure dragged its icy dripping tongue against me, lapping up my desire through my panties and adding to the wet region.

The drag was devastatingly slow, and whilst the pressure was a reprieve from my previous torture, it was nowhere near enough, tears gathered in my eyes as I begged for more. Then, I felt the being give one final lick before spreading my thighs out further and removing its hand from my waist - I was untouched.

For a brief moment, i wondered if it had left me, alone and hungry, desperate for something more - thankfully, it didn't. Instead, I felt what seemed to be a light kiss to my upper thigh before my skirt was bunched up to above my ass. The suddenness of it all made my gasp like a scandalised southern bell -as though I wasn't begging to be fucked by a stranger (who most definitely wasn't human) under a desk at my first day at work- though rapidly my gasp morphed into a whine as I felt the monster slip underneath my shaking spread out thighs so that the back of its head might rest against the floor with now both hands grasping my waist and hips.

It began to lick into me (still over my underwear) with a passion that I've never known, the glacial touch contrasting the warm friction building. I began to rock and press down onto its tongue and in response it sucked and licked and fucked into me with its tongue.

I'd asked, begged for more and I'd gotten it but I've always been greedy, always been stupid and reckless and impulsive, always been bossy even when I'm on my knees and then was absolutely no different.

"Let me fuck your mouth"

Instantly as soon as the words left my mouth I felt it moan against me the sensation only making me want it more, carefully after giving a few more playful sucks it released me - somehow even with its cold presence when it left me, the room felt so much more glacial.

I slid out from under the desk my shaking legs doing very little to help me in this endeavour, but before i could turn around to face the entity hands covered my eyes, of course this did nothing in ways of stopping me from seeing but I understood the getsture and so I closed my eyes.

Once my eyes were closed, the figure rearranged our bodies like a jigsaw piece as though it and I were one cohesive being all while I was immersed in the faint scent of sea salt and rain-soaked earth emanating from the creature - the delicate nature of the smell, alien to the steady yet all-consuming auror of the beast - like the sky before a storm. Once again, it was pressed against the ground with the back of its head to the metal flooring, and I was on top of it, this time fully able to sit with a straight posture.

It slowly guided me with my eyes still closed to its mouth with my still clothed cunt at first gently resting against its lips not wanting to move before it was ready till I felt it place both its sturdy hands on my waist and force me to rock into its mouth slightly.

I began slow, moving backwards and forwards on its cold tongue, trying to find a starting rhythm before the heat that momentarily subsided rose in full formation. Its hands were everywhere on my waist, my hips, my tummy. Like it was pushing and pulling me down and up, away, and to. Then suddenly one of its strong arms was lifting me slightly off its mouth eliciting an unexpected whine from me whilst the other moved the lace fabric to the side before gently lowering me back onto its cold wet mouth.

The feeling was foreign, invasive, intrusive, like a virus spreading through my body overtaking each nerve and blood cell before leaving me powerless to resist or even the desire to. The cold spit-soaked tongue dragged perfectly against me like waves hitting against the rocks, never missing their mark. I began to ride into its mouth, eyes rolling to the back of my head as I felt a familiar pressure build within me. I was so close to the edge, to the beginning and end of bliss. I didn’t know what the creature was or if it was even capable of feeling pleasure in the same way I did, but the desperate movements of its cold hands, one gripping my waist and the other my boobs showed me I wasn't alone in my heightened arousal.

Pleas and cries spilt from my lips, each more nonsensical and crass than the last:

"Please, please, fuck I'll be so good, fuck, your mouth its so- so perfect, you're so good for me, fuck, just like that, right there-"

Till eventually like an electrical current, the feeling washed over me - like fuzzy static interferce my whole body sparked alite. Its cold hands pressed me down harder as my body spasmed, tears welled in my eyes as I tried to move away, the pleasure building to be all too much, the overstimulation becoming extreme - but its presence remained lapping up my cum from my wet, warm, throbbing cunt.

My legs felt like jelly as it finally allowed me to stand, my lack of balance definitely not helped by my inability to see.

"Can I open my eyes... Tap me twice for yes?"

I felt a press of cold lips against my neck and then temple, sending a shiver down my spine and a small smile on my face before opening my eyes and turning around to see

Nothing.

I looked around the room confusion growing clearer on my face - thoughts regarding whether I'd made the whole scenario up in my head beginning to take root - before I felt cold hands rest against my cheek holding my head tilted slightly upwards before I felt cold lips move again against mine. The kiss was dry, soft, and sweet, still smelling of sea salt and storms and in that moment my mind was still, at peace like a total oneness with the world, with the truth whatever that may be.

Warning. Warning. Emergency alert. Code Amber. Please isolate in groups immediately. This is not a drill. Repeat. Warning. Warning. Emergency alert. Code Amber. Please isolate in groups immediately. This is not a drill.Warning. Warning. Emergency alert. Code Amber. Please isolate in groups immediately. This is not a drill. Repeat. Warning. Warning. Emergency alert. Code Amber. Please isolate in groups immediately. This is not a drill.

[phoenixcatch7]

Deep in my ff7 rereads so here are my favourite fandom fics, hands down.

End as you mean to begin <- 130k+ of time travelling cloud parenting the remnants, seeking asylum in a war torn wutai to keep all four of them out of shinras hands while sephiroth is absolutely Going Through It in midgar. Great Genesis characterisation and cloud mothering his way to an international incident. Bonus gender hijinks, hilarious misunderstandings and zack. Unfinished.

The fear of falling stars <- 500k+ and soon to be completed. Cloud and insane!Sephiroth time travel back to their shinra days and I cannot emphasise enough how much cloud is Not Doing Well. Gorgeous wordplay and top tier banter. Utterly unhinged blood enemies to ??? to ?????? to lovers sefikura. It's E rated and probably the tensest I've ever been reading fic lol, it is not lighthearted! But it's incredibly well written and the characters are phenomenal (zack my beloved) so if you've got strong nerves (and like a quarantine pairing) I'd definitely recommend it.

Voice of the gods <- 170k+ of almost idyllic gods and avatars au. Slow, soft and full of world building, it's a lovely relaxing read of cloud getting anointed the envoy of sephiroth, god of war, and slowly growing into his role and joining the ranks of envoy. Lots of side characters take larger roles here, and sephiroth himself is a darling without losing his sharpest edges. Unfinished.

I CAN FIX HIM (series) <- possibly my favourite sephiroth characterisations ever. 130k and growing of pure shaking this man like a doll in a perfect mix of almost delirious crack and gutting angst (often both at once!). Very good writing, every single funny moment hits like a truck and keeps building until you're choking with laughter. Bonus points to ROADTRIP! for being utterly, utterly insane. I cannot emphasise enough just how GOOD every single character and their dynamics are written.

Just anything ff7 written by AimeeLouWrites, if you've been in this fandom for any length of time you'll have heard of her. Great concepts, great executions and aus for DAYS.

Five hearts to make him whole <- 130k+ of time/dimension travelling cloud getting sent to a world of soulmates - and his alternate self bagged all four soldier firsts. Alternate cloud also died violently a few years ago and boy did those soulmates (not) take it well. Our cloud, of course, was not read in on any of this. Shout out to the emotional support chocobo! Unfinished?

Shall I find rest <- another soulmate agszc (?) dimension cross but this one is 100k+ of post AC cloud and Tifa waking up and deciding to make it everyone else's problem. They're so done with all the drama. Bamf nibel duo to the end and Tifa is the mvp. Unfinished.

Advanced release <- 250k+ and it's sephiroth receiving the original game in a strange packet that appeared in his room. It spirals into a messy and painful exposure of conspiracy, lies and inevitable tragedy. Video game logic is a running gag and zack remains the only actually stable person in the whole sorry mess but he's also Having a Terrible Experience. Really well written!!! Unfinished.

On broken wings <- 160k+ of pure post AC sephiroth redemption from his pov. Him struggling to find his place in a new world and experience real human connection evolves into MOOGLE EMBASSY need I say more?? Unfinished.

With Great Power Comes Meddling Fucking Gods <- 470k+! Poly WEAPON cloud gets yoinked back to the past (feat agzs), dies for a few days and misses his family SO bad but he is determined to change the future for the better. Probably the most healthy and mature cloud ever lol. Unfortunately for him, insane!sephiroth is pulling a inner hollow and gaia herself isn't talking. If you like symbolism, whoo boy!! The dream sequences are a DOOZY (and drowning in eroticism). Wonderfully written, the divide between sane!sephiroth and his counterpart is really cool to see. E rated at times but it's absolutely DELIGHTFUL and WEAPON cloud is such a treat. And I cannot emphasise enough the symbolism. Zackkura (kinda) and slow burn! Unfinished.

A brand need not be seen <- 180k+ in a world of soulmates where the four firsts have clouds name on their wrists. Trooper cloud is tentatively, desperately hopeful. Then a smoking hot op af adult cloud appears, with no names on his wrists at all. It's a really cute flirty fic despite covering shinra politics, identity crises, huge self worth issues, lots of trauma, and finding your own place in the world. Unfinished.

Memory's struggle <- 250k+ of cascading time travel. Basically everyone goes back, which goes great XD. Everyone... Except cloud. I read this a while ago but I do remember poor cloud just getting loved and spoiled by literally everyone and freaking out about it lmao. He was so confused! Unfinished.

Additional edit:

A solitude of space <- a wonderfully soothing 90k complete of sephiroth getting resurrected and moving to stardew valley to become the farmer. It's sooooo peaceful and following him as he grows into his own person and experiences real normality and community is lovely, if a touch angsty. Eventual sefikura with cloud moving to the farm when he's not doing deliveries. It's just. Really nice. I think I cried at the end. Finished!

One-Winged Angel's Self-Saving System <- 55k+ sephiroth enters the Chinese fantasy Scum Villain world in place of the scum villain himself! (He's the third person to take on that role, but who's counting?) Reborn into a plant body he's set loose on an unsuspecting world with a completely different magic system (sentient swords! Immortality!), with only the guide of a mysterious hallucinated ai. Freedom to make his own choices! Aroallo seph rep! He messes up the plot so bad, recruiting accidental love interests with kill counts and resurrecting long lost immortals. It can get a bit heavy but it's really fun and sephiroth has no intention of ever going back. Unfinished.

The SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun <- 73k+ of the opposite of the last fic: the scum villain (the 2nd) gets isekai'd into sephiroth! Shen qingqiu, aka the modern world native shen yuan, fails to resurrect into his prepared plant body and wakes up in a new fictional world, once again as the villain. With his limited memory of the games and his immense knowledge of cultivation (scum villains magic system) he tries to get a grasp on his new life while evading hojo, the president, his new subordinates and the war front while cultivating to immortality - something shinra is VERY interested in. When I tell you these two fics have a GRIP on me. I've written so many fic ideas around them. It's actually insane. The first thing he does is completely redecorate his rooms and buy a whole new wardrobe, which is totally not suspicious XD. Unfinished.

The fifth act <- 160k, it's a good ol' time travel fic - with a twist. The truest exploration of ripples in a pond, or how kindness, when true, can be returned in most unexpected ways. Or maybe how a single act of good can change the world.... Or maybe it's about how you must never turn your back on an enemy. Cloud has people to save and people to kill, and only time will tell which is which. Complete.

Of Things That May Be Only 'Verse <- another series! At 250k, it's about sephiroth resurrecting, only to, uh, slip and crack his head lol. This sends him spiralling through a vision of a cosy life he'd never dreamed, and when he wakes up? He wants it so bad. But that means behaving. Slow burn sefikura redemption, side Cid/Vincent (vincid?) which ngl did convince me of the ship, domestic fluffiness and found family galore! And the whole series is complete!!

Little seph <- a 160k series about the AC sephiroth revival going wrong. Stuck in the body of a kid, post AC sephiroth is a feral kitten carefully domesticated with the power of pancakes, wing preening, and deeply uncomfortable sleepovers. He's a brat, a pest, a murder machine, but he just wants to be part of a family even if he pretends he doesn't. Eventual sefikura, and overall just a very good read. Fully complete!

We are no heroes <- 70k series, about a secretly time travelled sephiroth desperately trying to save his friends and finally, maybe, rest. When I tell you this had me SOBBING. I was BAWLING. Extremely good, zack is best boy. This man is just so tired. Beautiful descriptions. And, again, complete! Yay!

[suugarbabe]

Lovely lovely Sab, I have another thought for you 🫡

Imagine kind, loving, sweet Enzo getting super pissed and lashing out at Snape in class after he's said something really mean to reader. And Snape's actual low key scared because we all know sweet Enzo is the actual psycho of the group and his quite, direct anger is terrifying coming from someone so sunshine-esque ✌️

Enjoy the day dream love, and happy belated new year 😘

hi keke my love my darling i love you. I struggled a liiiiittle with how to make enzo seem psycho but also not too far from how i normally write him so i did kind of go for like a threatening menacing psycho versus physical violence towards a professor. i hope this is good enough if not please tell me i suck <3

Lip held between teeth your do your best to continue concentrating on the order you're supposed to add your ingredients. Potions was your worst class. Not for lack of knowledge; or even lack of ability. Outside of the classroom you would almost be labeled of proficient, rivaling even that of Blaise Zabini.

But in the potions classroom you might as well be a squib. What was the difference you ask? That would be one Professor Severus Snape. He glides in front of your and Enzo's table just as you're adding the infusion of wormwood. You knew this particular potion called for four shakes exactly. Any more and there would be an explosion of smoke.

Snape's piercing black eyes watching you had your hands shaking. Enzo's placed his hand on the small of your back in a soothing gesture, trying silently to help you stay focused, to breathe. But Snape continued to watch. Each agonizingly slow shake you made his eyebrow rose higher, a low humming noise in the back of his throat.

And it's that noise that has you losing count of how many shakes you've already added, leading to you adding just one too many. You can see the potion start to turn the wrong color, and the top begin to bubble in the wrong way. Enzo has a grip on the back of your robes like he's about to pull you down under the table for protection.

But Snape is quick to correct your mistake more as a means to not have to clean his classroom, or his robes, because of your error than really any care for you. "You're lucky I knew you'd fail. If I weren't prepared your mistake would've destroyed part of my classroom," Snape looked down his long crooked nose with a look of disdain. "I should deduct house points for your incompetency. A sure disgrace to the pureblood you're supposed to be."

Enzo's hand on your back quickly fisted the material. A surefire sign he was angry. "Careful how you talk to them, professor. They're technically ranked higher than you in society, isn't that what you believe?" Enzo's tone wasn't loud. Purposely not drawing attention to anyone else in the class who were still working diligently as to not be Snape's next victims.

Snape straightened at Enzo's statement, hands still behind his back as though he were not truly bothered by the teenager in front of him but there was no missing the flair in his nostrils, "I have no knowledge of what you mean, Berkshire. But if I were you, I'd watch how you talk to a professor."

Enzo's head tilted slightly, a smirk of a grin forming on his lips that you only ever see when he's going to go for a kill. "Well you're a half blood, aren't you professor?" Enzo's biting his lip as his grin is growing; Snape is glowering. "Wouldn't that make you...below them?"

Snape slams his hands down on the table in front of you, causing you to jump back slightly and a few others to look your way. "Eye's on your own cauldrons," Snape spat, everyone's heads quickly turned back to their own work.

He leaned in closer towards Enzo, a raging whisper spitting from his lips as he spoke, "How dare you speak to me that way, boy. Do you forget who I am?"

You've not seen it personally too many times, but you've heard about it from Mattheo and Theo. The switch that sometimes flips within Enzo when he's getting angry. Around you he's usually good at controlling it. But for some reason Snape must have struck a nerve.

The switch was palpable in the air, in his energy that shifted. Enzo placed his hands on the table opposite his professor, leaning forward to shorten the distance. Even though it was a whisper, his voice was still coated in the thickness of what seemed like a threat, "Do you forget who I am? I've seen you at those meetings professor."

A snarl overtook Snape's features, "You don't know what you are talking about, boy." Enzo let out a low laugh, eyes casting down to the table as his tongue ran over his teeth with a smile, "Oh I know exactly what I'm talking about, Professor. I know more than you think; am being taught more than you think. You created a spell when you were a student, didn't you?"

Snape stayed silent, eyes darting back and forth with Enzo's who's seemed to get darker by the moment. "Curious to find out what spells I've come up with? Wonder if they're just as...dangerous."

"Enz!" you whisper shouted through your teeth, "did you just threaten a professor?" You were getting nervous, but Enzo never appeared more confident than in this moment. He picked up some extra ingredients in his hands, "Don't worry love, nothings going to happen. Snape here is actually going to excuse us early from class."

"And why...would I do that," Snape was doing a poor job at keeping his composure, arms now crossed as he responded through gritted teeth. Enzo dropped the billywig wings into the cauldron, "Because in about twenty seconds that little...mistake of mine is going to coat anyone within a five foot radius in sticky black smoke. So we're going to have to leave early to change for our next course."

By time he finished speaking the potion began bubbling once more, Snape hurrying to back away as Enzo held you still in place. With a loud pop and a few laughs from peers you and Enzo now found yourselves coated in a thin black sludge.

"Eugh, gross," you shook your hands towards the floor, plops of essence of your potion hitting the dungeon floor with a splatting noise. Enzo simply wore a devilish grin, keeping a challenging eye contact with the professor.

Snape pointed a long and boney finger towards the door, "Out! The both of you. Go clean yourselves up and get out of my sight at once!" You nodded your head quickly, still intimidated to speak. Enzo just gave a curt nod, still smiling, "Of course, Professor."

[bella-baby22]

Jason can sing?

I love the idea that the batfam are all musically inclined in some way but no one thinks Jason is because he doesn't sing or play music around the rest of the family but I would love it if they found out because he blew up and was all over the radio one day.

Dick driving up from Blud just listening to the radio when the host comes on with a loud boisterous voice making him jump.

Host: Alrighty everyone! The votes are in and tallied the top 3 songs by rising star Jaybird voted on by all of you lovely people out there in radio land!

Host: And to help us with this announcement I have a special guest, Gotham's superstar song bird, Jaybird himself! Welcome man we're so happy to have you here!

Jason: Thanks for having me I can't wait to see what everyone said about my music. This really just started as way to work through my feelings I never thought anyone would like it this much I'm so grateful for everyone's support.

Host: Talented, cute, and humble to boot. Tell me you're single!

Jason gives a chuckle: Happily taken.

Host: Darn, well we're happy for you. Now lets Get to these results! In third place we have... Little me!

Jason, singing: I'd tell him to speak up, tell him to shout out, and know that right here, right now, you're beautiful wonderful, anything you wanna be... little me

Host: Personally this would have ranked higher for me but I love it; its moving it speaks to becoming the person younger you needed I love this message truly.

Jason: I'm so glad people resonate with it it was a really hard message to portray but I think it turned out well.

Host: Absolutely! So well done! Moving on to Numero dos! We have F****in' Perfect!

Jason, singing: Mistreated, misplace, misunderstood, Mx No-Way-It's-All-Good, it didn't slow me down, Mistaken, always second guessing underestimated, look, i'm still around... Pretty, pretty please, don;t you ever, ever feel... like you're less than fuckin perfect. Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You're fucking perfect to me...

Host: This one, I totally get I am sensing a theme here with the empowerment of people and you seem to really enjoy making sure you're music sends a message huh?

Jason: I mean what's the point of letting people listen to music that doesn't mean anything? I wish I had music like this when I was going through it I know that I'm not saying anything new I'm just trying to say it louder, ya know?

Host: I hear ya! Now in the number one spot... drum roll please *drum roll*

Host chuckles: The number one voted song is... Funhouse!

Jason, singing: This used to be a funhouse, But now it's full of evil clowns, It's time to start the countdown,I'm gonna burn it down down down,I'm gonna burn it down. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, fun...

Jason chuckles along with the host: I mean I guess that was to be expected in Gotham

Host: Well you heard it here folks, thank you for tuning in keep listening for details to come about how to score some tickets to Jaybird's next concert!

Dick hysterically to Jason's voicemail: Jason answer your freaking phone when were you going to tell me you were famous?!

[haveyouseenthismovie-poll]

End of month update - November

Hello, all!

Here is this month’s end-of-month update on Tumblr’s top four films that have received the highest percentage of “yes,” “no,” and “haven’t even heard of this movie” votes.

As of today, the top four films with the highest percentage of “yes” votes are:

Finding Nemo (2003) | Monsters, Inc. (2001) | The Incredibles (2004) | Ratatouille (2007)

Next, the top four films with the highest percentage of “no” votes are:

Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) | Bonnie and Clyde (1967) | Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) | Scarface (1983)

This top four changed in that Scarface (1983) replaced Curse of Chucky (2013).

Finally, the top four films with the highest percentage of “haven’t even heard of this movie” votes are:

My Father and My Son (2005) | The Source (2002) | Like Stars on Earth (2007) | The Princess and the Robot (1983)

This top four changed in that Like Stars on Earth (2007) replaced Advantageous (2015) and The Princess and the Robot (1983) replaced Top End Wedding (2019).

Currently, The Incredibles (2004) is the still only film to receive absolutely zero “haven’t heard of this” votes!

I also said I'd make another data chart every so often for these monthly updates (as I did once before for September's update,) so below is a pie chart breaking down the decades seen in the 58 movies that have received majority "yes" votes:

As you can see, the three most popular decades are the 2000s (with 25 movies,) the 2010s (with 11 movies,) and the 1980s (with 8 movies.)

That's it for November's end-of-month update! Remember that you can view last month's update by clicking here. Additionally, you can view the full ranked Letterboxd lists of movies that have come up on this blog by clicking the following links:

This list is ranked from highest-to-lowest percentage of “yes” votes.

This list is ranked from highest-to-lowest percentage of “no” votes.

This list is ranked from highest-to-lowest percentage of “haven’t even heard of this movie” votes.

Hope everyone has a great December!

[gremlin-girly]

I love your blog! Can I get your rank of the CE!Babes?

Oh nonnie 🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much - that means the world 💞💞💞 This really bungled my brain when I read this bc I've never put so much thought into it 💀 It was on my mind for like an hour before bed so it's ridiculously in depth for a rating 💀😭

This is long - it took me longer to rank them than I care to admit because I added reasons why 💀. Colin Shea, Mr Freezy, Mike Weiss and a few others aren't in the ranking because I haven't seen the movies yet x

Some of the answers may shock you

And so, we begin! Going from worst to best.

14. Pete Brenner

Smarm and sleaze. Greasy little man. Good for a ONS but ya best believe it would be the WORST ONS for you. Last place.

13. Andy Barber (Defending Jacob)

Maybe I've read too many of @stargazingfangirl18 's fics but I just not his fan. 🤣 Although - the SUIT? 👀 he gives depressed divorced dad vibes but not in a super sexy way - if that makes sense.

12. Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four 2004)

I do like a guy with charm (as we will see further up the list - it's pretty much charming, asshole, or broody characters lmao) but I always seem to just....forget about him 💀 I think it's partly due to the fact that in the comics he's known to be a cheat and that puts me right off. His jokes and flirting win me over and I do appreciate his goofy/playful side but unfortunately, he's staying put 🥲 it also may be because also I like slightly older guys and he would be around my age

9. Jack O'Malley (Red One)

Sexy divorced dad 😌 A bit of a sleaze like Pete HOWEVER he is goofy enough that I could let it slide. He gets put higher because he learns to be a better person - he has that I could fix him vibe. And by fix I mean less gambling and a shower.

However, if we're talking beginning of the movie, he'd 2000% take advantage of your kindness. You wanna do acts of service? By all means. Expect nothing in return though. (Hence his ranking)

8. James Mace (Sunshine)

Surprisingly low for me! I do love a broody, moody side character HOWEVER I'm terrible at confrontation and yelling (two of Mace's fave things lmao) so he's earned his place here. After yelling at you for something he'd either be a sweetheart realising after you were upset or double down. But you wouldn't exactly want to be subject to it more than once in a blue moon, ygm?

7. Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out)

I am sorry Sweater Daddy but you're best placed here 😔. Three words: Spoiled. Rich. Kid. Which some of the others do fall into BUT Ransom in particular would be a terror, I believe. Partly due to his upbringing but my patientce would TESTED.

If you were nice to Ransom he'd take advantage but potentially feel bad about it.... much, much later. Or, you know, realise that you're soft for him and have no ulterior motives and he will just melt into goo. He's not used to having people be nice without strings 🥺

6. Ari Levinson (Red Sea Diving Resort)

It's the beard. It has to be. Cheeky smile and a wink I'd just melt. That's it. No more to add xoxoxo

The blue shirt though 😫

5. Steve Rogers (MCU)

I THOUGHT SKINNY STEVE WAS HOT TOO 😤 (forever mad at the peanut scene in TFA 😤)

Every Steve is a good Steve imo - one of the first CEvans crushes I ever did have 😚 probably because of the movies there's a lot of interesting aspects to his character (but we will be ignoring the Endgame ending 👀). Honourable, loyal, kind... you know this man is a romantic at heart (but I still eat up dark!Steve fics too). You just know he'd treat you RIGHT 😍

4. Frank Adler (Gifted)

A new addition! I watched Gifted a few weeks ago and I'm??? So soft??? He's a bit of a double threat, grumpy but also charming. And like with my top two I am SOFT for a guy who's good with kids (which is why Andy and Jack don't rank higher 💀). I'm hoping to finish the fic I have for him ASAP.

3. Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man)

This is a very big HEAR ME OUT 💀

I love love love campy villains who are still able to be terrifying. I was unsure about the 'tache at first and thought it would be a completely serious role and was PLEASANTLY surprised that he was just as dramatic, sassy asshole.

So, naturally, I love him.

Also, really well dressed. Apart from the loafers which make me cackle - tights shirt and pants??? Um, yes please? Don't even get me started on the ring.

2. Curtis Everett (Snow Piercer)

Brutish. Giving Stray dog vibes. In desperate need of a cuddle (and shower and hot food). Also one that surprised me, actually. I'd read fics, seen clips but then I watched snowpiercer... and yeah, like Frank I was down bad. Despite writing him with the emotional capacity of a brick, I like to think that he's soft after warming up to you.

Not one for grand gestures but the little things to make you smile or make your day easier.

Oh and also scary dog privilege whenever you go out together 🫶

1. Jake Jensen (The Losers)

I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

Absolutely feral for this man.

Although, I'd probably have to fight @bigtreefest for him

He's nerdy, dorky and although isn't your average charmer, he still manages it. Not to mention funny. 😫🤭 You just KNOW he'd be so focused on YOU and head over heels SMITTEN. Oh and being an involved uncle?? Being invested in his niece/family is just entirely wholesome. (How could you not fall for him?? I mean???)

I'm a big romantic and just it's a wistful sigh and a longing stare when it comes to JJ 😍❤️ I do have a long fic in the works for him and I think rn his collection (besides Steve) is the longest.

I think he's pretty slept on but that's bc I'm down bad 😭💞

Thanks for asking!

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides Ranked: Flirting???

Why do I have “For Legal Reasons This is a Joke” stamped on the front here? Because I get to saying some shit later that is NOT meant to be taken seriously. I enjoy saying words recreationally and making bits, not everything I say all the time is an accurate representation of my thoughts or beliefs and I just want to make that clear when posting on the piss on the poor webbed site.

Sorry, Logan. I don’t think he cares actually, but just in case. I would [verb] you. I also don’t think he cares about that, but just in case.

Also after adding the text on Logan's picture I decided I should add a little blurb to every slide so you can tell exactly how not biased I am.

When trying to decide on widespread appeal I had to acknowledge that most people would probably find him kind of annoying, which is his right, for sure, but then I had to gauge how annoying and how much that mattered and it took me a while.

For niche appeal, I just think that most theater kids™ don’t want to [verb] other theater kids™. They do [verb] for sure, but mostly because they can’t get anyone else because they’re theater kids™ and I think other insecure people mostly want to give him a hug.

(I was a theater kid but not a theater kid™, though I knew some. I just want theater kids™ to know it is their right to be insufferable.)

He's really kind of got two tricks, one is being dad and the other is being sad. I think I'd like to give him a Patt-on the head. If you're into that, though, hopefully you're also into frogs.

Look I was at one point part of all four niche appeal groups and I’m still part of two, this may be a targeted attack, but I caught myself in the crossfire.

Putting Roman in there was a joke bc you cannot tell me you don't classify what Janus was doing as flirting and it worked very well on our prince.

And unrelated to the ranking, I just get jump scared every time I see what Janus actually looks like bc he has long hair to me now. Where are his beautiful locks? Who cut my wife's hair?

Ok look. Quality of banter. We ALL saw his episode, ok? That was NOT top tier creative work. Granted he’s been locked in the basement for a long time so it’s understandable, but that doesn’t change the facts. 

For his blurb I was between what I wrote and something along the lines of "I would forcefem him" and I don't think either of those convey to you how not biased I am but just know that I adore him.

I had a blast making this, I kept cracking myself up, which means probably zero other people think it’s funny but here we are.

I actually went into this thinking I would have Logan as the worst and I thought Roman and Janus would tie for best so I’m glad to see we all have the same general consensus. It looks like this list would go Roman, Janus, Patton, Remus, Virgil, Logan.

I did my best to cut out any egregious swearing and anything explicit so I hope everyone can appreciate my sacrifice /j. Thanks for joining me, argue about it in the comments and reblogs. (<- Also a joke, please be nice.)

[wolfofcelestia]

I really hope this doesn’t bother you, but can you give some tips on choosing protocores and upgrading them? (If you don’t want to answer please don’t feel like you have to, some people get pissed when others ask about protocores for some reason). I’m a Zayne main who joined around late June so my knowledge on protocores are pretty weak; I just put random ones and hope they work. But since I’m advancing more on this game, I want to get serious about the combat. I know how to get them, but I never know which attribute to focus on with the protocores and I struggle to upgrade them and what to upgrade them with so I’m a complete noob at this.

??? I’m sorry if someone got mad at you for asking. This really isn’t a question to get mad about?? It’s totally fine, anon

I’m writing this as a Zayne main who isn’t a whale, so most of my limited 5* cards are not ranked up (with dupes) at all, and most of my stamina comes from free sources. But with the cores I focus on, I’ve gotten to stage 120 on open orbit, stage 140 on Zayne’s orbit, and I get around 25-32 stars in the senior hunter contest (depending on if they have a blue/red stage)

Other people have their own strategies but this is mine, so feel free to experiment with what works for you

First, I want to share a tip about farming for cores because this was implemented fairly recently and it really makes upgrading cores easier

When you're mass farm cores, you'll get a list and from here, you can mark them as trash for upgrade fodder (red circle) or you can lock them so you won't accidentally trash the good ones (blue circle)

When you mark them as trash, they will show up at the top of your list when you go to upgrade your cores, so this is really handy

As for which stat you should prioritize, this varies from person to person. But from my experiences with other games, I prioritize stable attack strength over crit, which can be unpredictable. Even when you build a crit team, it scales from your attack strength, so you'll still need a solid attack to build off of

Each core has a main stat that gets stronger with every upgrade level and four sub stats, one of which randomly upgrades every 3 levels

Since you're fighting against the clock, you'll want to only pay attention to what gives you more offensive power. That means, if I see a core that has a main stat of HP or Defense, it goes into the trash immediately. You don't want to waste your resources on these since you'll get HP and DEF as sub stats on cores that aren't completely offensive anyway

That being said, two types of cores have fixed main stats. The diamonds will always have an HP main stat and the spiky ball will always have an ATK main stat. You can't do anything about these, but you can still look for the offensive stats that you want

My priority list is as follows:

Attack + Attack Bonus

Crit Rate + Crit DMG

DMG Boost to Weakened

Situational offensive stats that change depending on your companion/enemy, like Expedited Energy and Oath Recovery, etc

Ideally, I'd want both ATK and ATK Bonus on the same core. The same could be said with Crit Rate and Crit DMG

While building up my base ATK, look for ATK on main and both ATK and ATK Bonus in their sub stats. If it also has a Crit stat, that's an extra bonus. It's a further bonus if it has DMG Boost to Weakened

Once I have a good base ATK, I look for cores that have either Crit Rate and Crit DMG as their main stats. Depending on how many Crit sub stats you already have, you might not need very many Crit cores

Example:

Right now, I'm running 2 Crit Rate cores and 1 Crit DMG core for my Zayne 140 team. The rest of the cores I'm using have ATK main stats (except for the diamond cores). I'm ALMOST able to kill the boss and the reason why I can't kill it is because my critical hits aren't occurring often enough To fix this, I'm planning on replacing one of my ATK cores with a Crit Rate core, so that I'm running 3 Crit Rate cores on this team So right now, all my stamina goes into farming for a core with a Crit Rate main stat, but I also want to make sure it has ATK stats so my base ATK won't take too much of a hit.

Once you know what your priorities are and what kind of stats you need, you need to figure out which ones to use as fodder

I'm not gonna lie, this is the worst part of cores unless you really like numbers

My method is basically just pick your best ones, equip them to your team, and go through all your cores one by one. It's easier when you go by category and colour (on this page below) so you can test how your stats change when you equip them

Once you've identified your strongest cores, make a mental note of its stats. So when you farm for more cores, you will know if the new ones are better or worse than the ones you already have, and you can mark them as trash or lock them to keep them

I like to save the ones that already have 3/4 of its sub stats so you can already see its potential. But if a core has a sub stat of like ATK 100 and still hasn't gotten all its sub stats, I'd upgrade it a few levels to see how it turns out. If it gets trash stats like HP and DEF, it immediately goes in the trash. If it gets better stats like ATK Bonus and Crit, then I got lucky and found a good core

These are examples of cores that I would give a chance to and upgrade them to level 6 or 9, depending on how much I want to gamble with these. If by level 9, they still have pretty crappy stats, I just trash them

These however, I would trash. The green core has an HP main stat and only has one offensive stat so I don't want to waste resources on that one

The red one has a fairly good ATK stat and would be good if you don't have anything better. But I know that I have red diamond cores with better ATK stats and better offensive stats, so this one doesn't cut it for the stage I'm at right now

Other than that, be sure to save your strongest ATK cores for your ATK cards so you can take advantage of its bonuses

That's all about cores I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure other people have different priorities, but this is the basis of my strategy

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #02 & #01 (Finale)

02. CZECHIA Vesna - "My sister's crown" 10th place

Decade ranking: 5/116 [Above Daði Freyr, below Käärijä]

Finland over Czechia seems like a no-brainer. Some midcarding bitches vs ~K*Ä*Ä*R*I*J*Ä~ come on, how hard can it be? Who is Czechia even for?!

ME, motherfucker. This entry is for ME, and FOR ME ALONE!!! and since this is MY ranking, that made the decision very difficult. It took me MONTHS to settle who to put at the top.

Vesna are often cited as one of the more overrated acts in the year. Overrated by whom? Who overrates Vesna? Isn't 10th a correct placement? i've met NO ONE who would even consider putting them as high as second? - and I obv don't count since it took me AN ETERITY to out myself as a Vesna stan!!

I'd counter that Czechia are THE MOST UNDERRATED by the fandom (not by placement - that is Slovenia, as always) and absolutely deserved all the good things that happened to them ^_^

So obviously, there are multiple factors at work here. The song is a fantastic earworm. Like, defo one of the best in the year? In terms of sheer replayability, "My Sister's Crown" is on the same level as "Edgar" (studio only :-/) and "Carpe Diem", and you know how much I value those. The song has four languages (including Bulgarian) and none of them clash. The lyrics are quotable and fun. This is a track with ATTITUDE and ZEST, that managed to criticize the war in Ukraine without beating us over the head with it via a poorly hidden, clumsily written political message. The song is SMART, and respects its listeners.

LOVE'S NOT A MONEY BAG BLOOD'S ON YOUR GOD'S HANDS YOU CANNOT STEAL OUR SOULS

However, going into the year, there were issues - Vesna were messy and dissonant, and the six girls often gave the impression of competing against each other for attention. They were not a UNIT. Although "My Sister's Crown" was always one of the best songs, many (including myself!) were sceptical it could come together.

And it did, spectacularly.

See, one of the things about this year is that the good performances and good songs were often mismatched. Albania, Estonia and Poland had great on-stage glam-ups, but they were severely hampered by the songs being what they were. Other countries such as France and Austria had good songs, but required really good acts to tie them together, and failed or, in case of say UK, has good acts that were performed badly.

If you made a Venn Diagram between the best songs and the biggest growers, there wouldn't be much overlap. Except for Czechia.

To quote Matteo Lane's pearl of wisdom; if there's only ONE GAY, everything gets done! Ahmad Malloun was the One Gay and channeled his bossbottom energy to fuss Vesna into shape. Suddenly, the girls were harmonious and disciplined and that made all the difference. Suddenly, Czechia had an act with a clear vision - Six women united visually through their outfits. Vesna had become a UNIT, united through sisterhood.

SESTRO KRASIVA OI TI SILYNA HOROBRA JEDINA KORONA TVOJA

It really doesn't get mentioned nearly often enough how amazing the Czech staging was. Sure, Loreen and Käärijä, both top notch. But this is my personal favourite of the bunch. It's a visually stunning, avant garde act that fits the music, that fits the thematics, that pulls you in and tells a story without overtly complicating matters. They start as a group of angry hexaplets and then burst into joyful sororian rapture at the end. The staging is both aesthetically pleasing and intuitive. They hit the gold standard for acts that everyone should try to strive for!!

There are times where I wonder whether I really should rank Vesna above Käärijä. My Sister's Crown fully morphed into a me-coded entry. And perhaps, if and when I watch 2023 again, I may do exactly that. For now though, I've decided against it. The argument for Finland is less complicated, so I went with that. And now for the winner of this ranking I am sure NOBODY saw coming ever:

-------------------------------------------------------------

01. FINLAND Käärijä - "Cha Cha Cha" 2nd place

Decade ranking: 4/116 [Above Vesna, below Chanel]

It's Käärijä, bitch.

I rest my case for ranking Finland first. I don't think anyone argues this as invalid? Good, let's pick it all apart because if there's anything Käärijä deserves, it is being talked about. 😉

So um, where to start? Maybe it's best to start with the song - "Cha Cha Cha" was that rare 1-in-500 entry. I always say that novelty always tends to become stale over time - once in a blue moon however, it endures. "Cha Cha Cha" is a novelty song that is also an excellent song in its own right, and it stil holds up very well. It's a fun song to listen to, even without all the circus and theatrics.

The circus and theatrics though, omg <3 Talk about a DELECTABLE act, once again. This is yet again an example of how staging compliments the song and makes it digestible. Cha Cha Cha is entirely in Finnish with only a few loan words tossed in - difficult to get into on paper. The staging however, brings the plot points home.

The song's about wanting to overcome anxieties to dance? So break from the crates

Confront the inner Dance Demons that harass your psyche

make your way to the dancefloor while dodging decapitation via errant wires.

and then, when you overcome all fears transition to that godly, campy key chance, ride your them, having overcome your inhibitions.

AND I GALLAVANT ON THE FLOOR LIKE A CHA CHA CHA AND MY ANXIETIES HAVE NO GRIP ON ME NO MORE

The act is BRILLIANT. The ballroom dancers with their creepy pearly-whites, the dorkopotamus choreography, the styling, the overwhelming sense of triumph once the key change hits... It's the same deal as Vesna and Loreen, just a handful of visual cues that visualize the song's themes (anxiety, rather than sisterhood or desolation) are easy to understand and don't further complicate matters. THIS is how it's done. This is how you Eurovision.

The magical ingredient that tied it all together was the man, the dad bod, the bolero himself - Käärijä. Talk about a personality so massive everything gravitated towards him. It's hard to put the extent of his likeability into words - he's just so disarmingly himself. The key here is that Käärijä doesn't see himself as anything special. To him, he's just "boy from Vantaa who likes queen Loreen". He's just self-aware enough to realize the effect he has on others, but not self-aware enough to understand what exactly endears him to so many people. So when Käärijä plays up for funsies, he magnifies all aspects of his personality which makes him... even more endearing. 😍

(it's the same magic dust that has people flock to Baby Lasagna this year, really.)

It's rare to have a contestant who managed to completely warp the meta around him to this extent. It's even more rare that the contestant in this position then loses the competition. I remember telling my friend André, who was behind on NF news, that Käärijä had won UMK, and he replied with an innocuous "great, I haven't been this excited for a contestant since Verka!". I think I realize in that moment, that was to be Käärijä's destiny. Verka was the Hot Favourite in their year, the breakout star of 2007 - and Verka placed second to a more competent entry (Molitva <3). It was in that moment that I knew that Käärijä's inevitable fate was to come second to Loreen.

And I feel like, we all knew deep down that was where we were headed. We all wanted Käärijä to win as much as we did, because we knew that he would not. He was blissfully cruising towards a loss, and that was too much of an injustice to accept it and not manifest a reality where he beats Sweden.

It even got to a point where some people are now retroactively trying push the notion Tattoo is better than Euphoria (that statement is more offensive than anything I've ever commited to print or speech, including the one time I called Lesley Roy frumpy on cam <3) and the best entry ever (excuse you?) largely because it beat Cha Cha Cha.

So if Käärijä is this great, then why the doubt? Why only fourth for the decade (for the moment)?

Well, it's same deal as Cornelia for me. The best live of Cha Cha Cha that we received was the first one, at UMK, and every other performance we've had since then was not as good. The one in Eurovision had terrible vocals and slightly less impressive staging compared to UMK. I know right? The ESC staging did MORE and yet accomplished LESS. They got rid of all the wrestling references? Where's the close-up at the end? The arena? THE LIFT?

Sure, these inaccuracies didn't detract from my personal enjoyment of Cha Cha Cha. They however did allow for Käärijä to fall behind far enough behind Loreen in the jury vote so that he could no longer catch up with her in the televote, like a death by a thousand paper cuts.

It was a great live, but it wasn't great enough to win. Eurovision Käärijä was not Käärijä at his best, while Vesna without question gave their best performance in the Grand Final. Hence my doubts.

However, I ultimately went with Käärijä anyway because he did something Vesna could not - he gave a concert in my city, and I attended. HE MADE ME LEAVE THE HOUSE AFTER DARK. And god, if you've not been to a Käârijä gig before, absolutely fucking go if you're able to - IT'S CRAZY IT'S PARTY is the perfect catchphrase for this hyperactive, sexually amorphous, adorkable gremlin.

He was his unadulterated self, slapping his belly only vaguely aware of his sex appeal, swooning over a group of Slovene attendees because they reminded him of The Love Of His Life Bojan Cveticanin, ripping one of his merch t-shirts in half and then wearing it as a jacket, airdiving a wayward balloon that floated its way on the stage. The music was also excellent. Exposed to to the FULL scope of Käärijäness, made all the good memories of the 2023 preshow flow back, how could I not rank him anywhere other than first? Maybe I will change my mind and rank Vesna first in a few years from now, but for now, let's savour him while he's still fresh in our minds.

REMINDER THAT THE 2024 ROSTER IS GREAT LARGELY THANKS TO KÄÄRIJÄ.

REMINDER THAT HE WOULD SO WIN ANY FUTURE EUROVISION IF HE WANTED TO:

(May I just name this as my fave song from the 2024 nf season MAY I????*)

He WAS 2023. He WAS Eurovision.

He may have lost the contest, but he has won life. (and paid his taxes.)

ALL RISE FOR THE BEST ACT OF 2023!

The RANKING (completed)

"Novo, Bolje" was my fave 2024 NF also-ran. Obv.

ADDENDUM: ABOUT ESC2024

Yeah, obviously i'm not going to do a pre-show ranking. With all the poison and controversy going on, it's just not the right time. I delayed this ranking specificially so that I wouldn't be temped to do the 2024 one later. (Unlike a certain broadcasting institution, I possess a modest amount of insight, foresight and self-awareness. 🙂 )

Hopefully, ESC 2024 goes down without too many incidents, and I'll able to start my post-show ranking the week after the Grand Final.

See you there, hopefully, if Eurovision isn't dead and buried by then! 💚

[humbletaxidriver]

Keigo Higashino Novel Ranking I've read seven Keigo Higashino novels and decided it was time to rank them! I've read all five Detective Galileo novels (in translation) and only two of Detective Kaga so I will be ranking the novels individually. Be sure to read @four-white-trees' ranking post for the thoughts of someone far more read in this genre! We wrote our posts separately (but read two books together) so I'm looking forward to comparing them!

Tumblr kept eating this post so I cut out the "cons" section. So here, positive thoughts on each book! 7. Silent Parade (Detective Galileo Series #4) Pros: The premise of the mystery is gripping. I was genuinely fascinated by the suspects. Kusanagi's numerous flaws (affectionate) add a ton of tension. 6. Newcomer (Detective Kaga Series #2) Pros: Kaga, my guy. Brilliant and hard to predict, Kaga is such a fun protagonist. Similar to Yukawa he moves to the beat of his own drum but Kaga's sheepish demeanor makes him very lovable. Each chapter of this book feels like its own short story and yes, everything pays off in the end. 5. Salvation of a Saint (Detective Galileo Series #2) Pros: Kusanagi's flaws shine again here, adding really fun tension to this book that ended with a lot of satisfaction. This book also introduced fun quirks about Yukawa (he dresses very expensively) and his interactions with Kusanagi (he's keeping track of his weight gain, say what). Utsumi is a welcome addition to this one too, I really enjoyed how she played off Kusanagi here. 4. Malice (Detective Kaga Series #1) Pros: One of the most powerful endings to a book I've ever read. I do love it when successful authors try to say something in their books. And in stark contrast with Kaga's lack of personality, Higashino tells, in a mere paragraph of dialogue each, the entire life story of nearly a dozen characters in the finale. He tells so much with so little and all these minor characters feel vividly real. Truly masterful stuff, I was blown away. 3. A Midsummer's Equation (Detective Galileo Series #3) Pros: Higashino finally decides to bring Yukawa out right at the start of the novel to wonderful effect. This narrative loved Yukawa and I loved to see it. The setting is fresh, cozy and I felt like I had been there by the end. I was invested in nearly all the people involved in this case which was quite a feat. Yukawa's character development is top notch, his speech near the end a devastating yet cathartic response to Suspect X, one just as much needed by him as by Higashino's readers. Despite being one of the longest Higashino books I've read I enjoyed this entire book. I honestly can't wait to read it again. 2. Invisible Helix (Detective Galileo Series #5) Pros: The tightest writing from Higashino by far, this book wastes not a single breath. I inhaled it and was in its thrall for its entire duration. I'd wake up and read this book, I'd go to sleep late reading it. Yukawa, Kusanagi, and Utsumi's chemistry and interplay is perfection, it is everything I want as a fan. Higashino steps back to let Yukawa's character development take over the case at times and I devoured it. I just loved this one so much and didn't want it to end. 1. The Devotion of Suspect X (Detective Galileo Series #1) Con: The ending of this book will haunt me forever. Pro: The ending of this book will haunt me forever. What, you want me to say more? This book single-handedly rekindled my love of reading. I think about Ishigami regularly. The moral dilemma of this book makes me want to parkour up a wall. Yukawa's relationships with Ishigami and Kusanagi have onion layers. The unstoppable march toward tragedy still has me by the throat all this time later. Every Galileo book lives in this one's shadow because there will never be a happy conclusion to it and it hurts so good.

[booksandchainmail]

Hugo Best Novel Finalists 2024

I've read all 6, so here's my impressions and loose ranking. The numerical ranking is only approximate for now, I'm going to pin it down once we get closer to voting closing. I could see the top two books switching places, or any rotation within books three, four, and five.

The Saint of Bright Doors, by Vajra Chandrasekera This was one of my top books of last year and one of my own nominations. It's a very strange book, twisty and creative, and left me with a lot of thoughts, particularly about how it handles government. I appreciated the mishmash of worldbuilding, all sorts of things that felt incongruous next to each other but somehow fit together. It also felt more literary than most sff novels? I am not normally deeply noticing of language, but I kept coming back to individual turns of phrase here. All books should have a 50-page chapter in the middle where the protagonist wanders through a neverending surrealist prison land.

Some Desperate Glory, by Emily Tesh Another of my nominations, this is a more straightforward exploration of, essentially, the deradicalization of someone raised in an authoritarian military camp. I respect how this book lets Kyr be awful, be completely convinced she is correct, and be defensive and lash out when confronted with her home's issues. I think the ending stumbles a bit, but really I mostly wanted this book to be much, much longer and have Kyr's character arc spread out more. Also, the choice of title and epigraph is excellent.

Translation State, by Ann Leckie Not much to say here, it's a new book in the Imperial Radch universe, I read it when I came out so don't remember detail. I liked the different intersecting plotlines, and particularly the Presger merge-and-devour adolescent instinct

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, by Shannon Chakraborty This one I hadn't read before but enjoyed. I don't know how deep I'd say it is, but it's fun, a good classic adventure story with a putting-the-crew-back-together plot common to heist narratives. It benefits a lot from its setting: my main takeaway was that the Indian Ocean in medieval times is a criminally underused setting for any kind of nautical/swashbuckling/adventure story.

Witch King, by Martha Wells I read this one when it came out, and remember liking it a lot. The two intertwined narratives, set centuries apart, worked well for me to let the backstory unfold to inform the main plot as it progressed. I think I preferred the backstory narrative? But that might be due to also having the present narrative, since my favorite part was seeing how the echoes of relationships are still going on centuries after we get to see them form

Starter Villain, by John Scalzi I did not like this. I had some criticism last year for Scalzi's Kaiju Preservation Society, on the grounds that it was fun but not substantive enough for an award. But at least with that one I enjoyed reading it! My main thought while reading Starter Villain was "Well, at least it's short." I think my main problem with this is tonal: it doesn't commit enough to the over-the-top goofiness of "guy inherits his uncle's supervillain empire" and keeps trying to ground it in what an actual secretive genius billionaire pulling strings behind the scenes for his own nefarious purposes might look like, but then any attempts to actually be serious with the grounded stakes and world established kept running into the fact that it also featured sentient cats and talking dolphins! Also, I couldn't stop noticing that the protagonist talks the same way as the major supporting characters, which is the same way the protagonist talked in KPS last year

[nitpickrider]

a bit silly, but if you had to fill an Avengers roster, who would you pick?

Wooof, oh me oh my. Let's lay down some ground rules before I do this. 1). Only people who have been Avengers at some previous point in time. Doesn't narrow it down a LOT but this list would be a jigsaw of my favorite Z-Listers otherwise 2). Limiting it to seven people. That's the magic number with superhero teams and it gives me a reason to stop

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: Sometimes you just cannot beat a classic and when it comes to Avengers line ups there is no one that I think is more integral than Captain America. The pathos that he brings to the table no matter what character he is interacting with is palpable and reading through his first big volume has given me a deep respect and love for the character. He's our leader for sure, the axis of solid, steady service I can hang my weirder picks on.

Dr. Walter Newell AKA Stingray: You all saw this coming and don't act like you didn't. One of my favorite if not my FAVORITE Marvel Characters of all time. He's a doctor with an interesting specialization. His "I'm only a part time superhero" hangup is even funnier and more interesting if forced into the limelight on THE hero team. Not to mention he comes with his own swanky Hydrobase we can use for an HQ and with his wife and four kids running around underfoot we have the kind of domestic adorability I think any good team needs.

Miguel Santos AKA Living Lightning: The first time I can ever remember reading about a comic book hero being gay, as just like, part of who they are. A tiny detail in their rich inner life. Not to mention the less respect a character gets the more I want to lift them up on my shoulders. He could be the sweetheart with a little chip on his shoulder from not getting the respect his objectively awesome powers objectively deserve.

Angelica Jones AKA Firestar: Something you may not know about me. The first piece of media that really opened my eyes as to the potential and depth and scope of the Marvel Universe was Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. It was cheesy, it was cheap and yet Angelica was the first character that I felt SPECIAL for knowing and caring about. She's happy, she's passionate, her simple classic costume kicks ass and the New Warriors need their goddamn respect. 'Nuff said.

Sersi, Just Sersi: What little I have seen of this character fucking FASCINATES me. This woman is chaos incarnate. It's like she is actively making on the fly decisions with everyone she meets whether she's going to kill them, screw them, turn them into a small mammal or some combination of the three. She's *Instant Plot Complication Just Add Water* because she saw a butterfly and that somehow translates to her blowing the entire team's cover.

Dane Whitman AKA The Black Knight: I love everything about him. I love his vibe, I love the fact that his backstory is built partially around recontextualizing the lore of a mostly forgotten Atlas fantasy comic. I love that he has a wickedly evil cursed blade that comes with the side effect of basically holding him hostage to a heroic moral code. And on top of that he's a dorky intellectual who can't see a social cue if it's blaring at him from oncoming traffic.

Jennifer Walters AKA She-Hulk: ...I do not feel the need to explain or justify this choice. YOU know Jen is awesome. *I* know Jen is awesome. She-Hulk does not need justification. She shows up in stories and makes them better by existing. Also yes this is the bodytype I'd use. Yes, I have an addiction. No, I don't feel the need to explain that either. RESERVISTS: Characters I really like but either don't know enough about or don't think they make good Avengers

Marc Spector and System AKA Moon Knight: One of my favorite dudes but does NOT play well with others. Was interesting for about 10 seconds as a member of the West Coast team but I'd prefer he never touch the ranks again.

Flint Marko AKA Sandman: Marvel did Sandman fucking dirty by never letting him fully reform and be the good guy. I want Sandman to be the good guy dammit

Maria de Guadalupe Santiago AKA Silverclaw: I know literally nothing about her outside of reference books but her powers are dope and I dig her vibe.

[nikkeisimmer]

Not looking forward to having to remake this...uniform for my JAGSims stories.

For those of you who recognize it, that is the cap brim of a Navy "commander/captain".

At one point, I also had created a naval uniform as well.

with the rank of fleet admiral and corresponding proper caps as well.

These were on the computer that went belly up and I'm hoping that I can recover them from the hard-drive on it. If not, it's going to be a long laborious process to be able to remake them again and I'm not sure I can locate the images that would allow me to re-do that without some considerable expense. In fact, I may have to purchase some 3D assets that have been created by others and start playing in Milk-shape. The reason I swiped the Sims 3 (military) Air Force officer's cap that was already present in Sims 3 was because it was there and the mesh was there to work with allowing me to add all the details needed to truly make a military uniform adding the "scanned" decals. I made a whole series of military uniforms with differing insignia and decorations, making each one of them different according to my JAG characters individual ranks and those were the uniforms that I'd saved.

@kosmokhaos's military salute came in handy for this pose. Thanks for making that pose pack.

My Sim was a "Fleet Admiral" (four thin stripes, one thick admiral's stripe; a rank not used much nowadays - the United States makes it only potentially usable during a full-scale world war). But the five-star rank is no longer active with the top-end being an O-10 (4-star).

And he also has the "Joint Chiefs of Staff" badge under what is known as his awards rack (ribbon rack).

Looking in closer, you can see that he has the Naval aviator wings. I really wanted to mesh a replacement (but I don't have those kind of skills - a gold set of Navy wings with a plumbob instead of the American shield in front of the anchor bearing outstretched wings. My sim, following JAG, and its lovely little story-line was a member of the USN and a high-ranking one at that, wearing the Medal of Honor, noted in a story called

...back when the character was a "Lieutenant Commander" and was battle-field promoted to a Commander after the incident where he was nominated for the Medal of Honor. I really wish I was good at meshing, but it's a fore-gone conclusion that my brain isn't up to the task - still sorting that out with the doctor (learning disabilities - such as dyslexia/dyscalculia...suspected (the cost of getting a formal diagnosis puts it out of range at this point)).

Free 3D assets have been found like

That would work great for the (top) Ensign-Lieutenant Commander ranks and the (bottom) Rear Admiral (Lower Half) to Fleet Admiral ranks. But I haven't been able to find the Commander/Captain ranks USN Officer's Cap. This is a photo of a REAL Commander/Captain's cap (from WWII)

which is the one I would be looking (for a more modern one that is), for my character (Commander Toshio M. Nakamura).

On my original "Kimber Benton" character she is a Navy Captain at the time of THIS picture, she does have on the proper cap with the

proper scrambled eggs on the brim. That's what makes the Navy ranks so complicated to put. If I really wanted to give myself a major headache, I'd also put the Air Force and Army in as well (but JAG was primarily a Navy show and quite frankly, the US Marines and the US Navy were the only two services that got quite a bit of airtime).

Of course, the next time that I do that uniform (if I have to redo them), I want to make them more uniform in size. As you can see, I borked up on the Captain's stripes on Harm's uniform (the guy in the center - if you haven't watched the TV show). Those who are old enough to remember the show remember this character (far left): Major Sarah Mackenzie (on the show)...Colonel Sarah Mackenzie (in my story). Made from Audrey's Catherine Bell sim:

I'm eternally grateful to Audrey for making that sim because Mac's a pain-in-the-*** to re-create.

All the others I have now recreated (as best as my useless sim-creating talents can).

Kimber now looks like this:

Meg (from the show's first season) recreated as faithfully as I can with my useless sim-creation skills ended up looking like this.

As you can see my skills are no where near as good as Audrey's in the re-creation of a life-like Sim.

My skills at recreating life-like Sims from real people suck. Out of the newest sims, I think my Harm got the short end of the stick. Harm is the one to the right vs. My Harm, I created

Yeah, doesn't even look like the same guy.

My JAGSims offer me a way to enjoy the continuation of my favorite show and throw in some off-beat twists

But I digress, I need to get Photoshop Elements in order to be able to re-do these uniforms that I need for my stories and then I'll go ahead and start working on some JAG stories. However I will refrain from making actor Zois when I'm able to buy my gaming PC that will handle InZoi. As a former working photographer who did wildlife, I had to familiarize myself with copyright and other stuff like that. The life-like Zois that you can create in InZoi opens up a few interesting "likeness" issues as far as "Breach of Likeness" as far as copyright and "rights of use". If I create a lifelike Tracey Needham in InZoi and start writing stories with her, she could probably sue me for "Breach of Likeness" and "Infringement of her rights to her own image"...if she found out about it. That's the slippery slope we're at with copyright issues and creating life-like celebrity "Zoi". But anyways enough of boring you with legal ****. I'm hoping to get my TS3 Workshop working again once I get my Photoshop/Premiere Elements again.

...and maybe I'll manage to get the uniforms the way I want them to look again.

[unserenedreaming]

Yellowjackets Rankings

I want to preface this ranking with some thoughts my sister and I hashed out during our weekly YJ discussion:

With the discovery of the frogs, the idea that it's just all in their heads, a group folie à deux, has been resurrected. It would be so fucking satisfying if it turns out that the Wilderness didn't exist in the way they thought, and it was just a bunch of traumatized teens listening to their friend who's meds ran out and buying into her bullshit. Dear god I hope that's the truth, because it makes the events of the show all that more tragic and delicious. But without further ado...

We've made it through episode seven, and here are my updated rankings:

WILDERNESS

I would die for them:

Jackie: she's never leaving the top. My beloved. I hope you show up again. I miss you.

Van: Perhaps the only person who is actually focused on getting home in this crazy episode, which is what they're all supposed to want. Her voice cracking when she said she was gonna call her mom broke me a little bit.

Akilah: She's drinking a bit too much of the Lottie juice for my liking, but she's still one of my faves.

Travis: He sees the possibility of getting home but he didn't hurt me like Van did this episode.

Nat: Poor Nat, desperately trying to keep the peace even though she's been dethroned. She's so tired of death and just wants to go home, and I want that for her too even though I know it won't happen.

Mari: From the bottom to the top! She got unfairly tasked with saving Shauna's surrogate Jackie and she did a damn good job, and her jabs at Lottie were beautiful

Hannah: This poor woman just wanted to study frogs and thirst after Joel McHale, which I understand. I fear for her and I can only hope that her death is quick.

Kodiak: When I saw Joel McHale I let out a squeal. I'd known he was gonna be in this season but it'd been so long that I'd forgotten. I'm holding out hope that he survives and makes it back to civilization to give Hannah's kid the tape. Fingers crossed

I care but not as much as the others:

Tai, Misty, Gen, Shauna (moving up the list, but I fear she will move down again next week due to the teaser, but how knows?)

IDGAF:

Melissa: God it was so satisfying to watch her get shot. Hearing that she was dead in present day made me cackle. I hope you suffer bootlicker

Lottie: you dumb fuck. They could have maybe talked their way out of it - desperate groups turning to cannibalism to survive was a known phenomenon even in the 90's. But she fucked it up. Nat killing Ben wasn't what doomed them. It was Lottie.

Present Day

I would die for them:

Jeff: My King forever, Shauna doesn't deserver you. You're the best.

Van: Poor, poor Van. As I move away from believing that the Wilderness is conscious and more a coping mechanism, the more I understand that Van had one good prognosis that validated Tai's wishes. As someone whose very good friend had cancer, there are good days that turn into good weeks that quickly crash and burn into terrible days and weeks, because cancer is a piece of shit. I really hope she makes it, because of the four known survivors, she's the least morally corrupt, but I'm not holding out hope. Good people don't last (Laura Lee, Jackie, Coach Ben)

Shauna: She continues to be a disaster and I love her. She was right when she said that she didn't deserve Jeff. But she's so captivating as an adult in a way that she just isn't as a teen, and again I credit that to the talent of Melanie. She deserves an Emmy so so so badly.

Misty: The texting scene killed me. The blatant accusation at Tai and Shauna in the same damn day killed me. Misty is hilarious and a train wreck and I love her

Tai (Other Tai?): Whichever Tai it is, she broke my heart this episode. To finally have the love of your life back with you only to see them suffer and wither? I don't condone Tai's actions, but I do understand them. Tawny continues to deliver, and I love her.

Callie, Walter, (dead) Lottie

IDGAF:

Everyone else

Anyways if you made it this far thanks again for reading my rambling. If you agree, congrats. If you don't, also congrats.