#but my social anxiety is going absolutely nuts

[sternenmeerkind]

I hate anxiety so fucking much aaaAhHHHH

[carowleysposts]

Good Omens makes me feel scary things. Let’s talk about it.

So, before I start, I think it’s important to clarify that I am neurodivergent. I have autism and GO is one of my strongest hyper-fixations ever. I am so emotionally and mentally invested in it I could talk about it for days on end and every single detail of this show makes me love it more.

But there’s a really really dark flip side to this love, and I would love to see if there’s anyone else who struggles with it too:

I think I care a little too much.

Although I am aware that this is somewhat “common” for people in the spectrum and my doctors all have confirmed I am not a complete nut case for it, I almost never feel comfortable admitting to those in my life that a piece of fiction has such a strong hold on me and my mental health. And as much as I love everything we’ve seen so far, all the little things I hear and read about season three give me heart-stopping waves of anxiety that are definitely not normal.

Like, I am constantly scared of what will happen, as if it was happening to me. And I know it’s embarrassing, but my brain is simply wired differently, and it feels so awful not being able to talk about it with my friends in real life.

Sometimes I feel like my day is ruined because I read someone say that they think S3 won’t have a happy ending, or that they probably won’t kiss or end up together or something bad like that. And even though I know it’s just fiction, it gives me stomach knots, as it is such a powerful part of my life and I think about is so much.

I have even come as far as to take breaks from Tumblr and mute some words on some social media platforms so that I won’t read Neil’s responses to questions - because they ALSO make me fear terribly and give me crippling anxiety, like when he said it won’t be romantic, or when he says stuff that make me worry for the future - and won’t hear speculation or even be reminded of other stuff people say.

And before anyone asks: Yes! I am fully aware it sounds absurd. And yes, i absolutely do feel crazy and embarrassed about it, but unfortunately this is the reality of many people in the spectrum and many neurodivergent people in general.

I do work, I am a ballet teacher and an author, so of course I have many other things to worry about and do and of course I have a life full of responsibilities and relationships and different pursuits to keep me from actually thinking about it nonstop. But still, even though I am busy and distracted most of the time, every now and then these feelings and worries come and punch me in the gut, and it completely paralyzes me for long moments. I feel kinda sick? I don’t know.

So I guess what I am trying to ask is: do you guys know of anyone who feels the same? Like, is there anyone else who feels like their mind has been absolutely taken over by fiction-related anxiety? And also: what should I do about it? I feel like absolutely no other piece of fiction compares to this one, and my mind simply won’t stop.

Help pls.

[ticklinglady]

The Guild's actions during the story are so insane, when you think about them properly, you know? When I first read the arc with them, this moment hasn't really occurred to me, as I was too busy going nuts over finally seeing the names of the familiar writers, but now when I think of that... I am not sure, I comprehend how they managed to achieve such a ferocious reputation. I have already made a little post about how extremely dysfunctional the DOA members are, but at least those guys have a plan, which actually makes sense more or less, even despite the gang using cheatcodes/the Book. The same cannot be said of the Guild however archghhjkn. Like, what the hell were these guys even doing??? XD

So here are just some moments, which weirded me out the most

At first I'd like to address the entire story with everyone's favorite tsundere, Lucy Maud Montgomery. Her introduction leaves quuuuite an impression in the best way and nothing makes me happier than the fact, that she gets a chance to find happiness in the following chapters and actually becomes a reoccurring character! HOWEVER, her entire involvement with the Guild is super odd... I still can't wrap my head around her getting fired. She is a girl with a hella powerful ability, who got taken to the Guild from a terrible, terrible orphanage in order to fight for them in the war for the Book, so not only is she very strong, but she's also immensely dependant on the organisation and wouldn't do anything outside of its interests. Yet Lucy is also put under extreme pressure. As she herself puts it, the Guild doesn't tolerate failures and will kick her out the moment she screws something up.

Later we see that this is exactly what happens, when she messes up her first mission. Fitzgerald himself confirms that, since she failed and revealed her ability to the enemies, she's no longer useful, so now a powerful esper, like Lucy works for free as a... laundress?

EXCUSE ME??? WHEN HAVE THE GUILD MEMBERS EVER DONE ANYTHING, BUT FAIL AND REVEAL THEIR ABILITIES?

Let's be real, these dudes were successful like only once or twice...

This fact not only makes Fitzgerald look like an idiot for wasting such a talented and useful worker, because of one mistake, but also as one hell of a hypocrite, cause he is more than fine with everyone else fucking up. And in case of Lovecraft and Steinbeck: fucking up twice. To add to the oddity, we later learn, that Louisa genuinely cares for Lucy and despite her social anxiety actually stood up for her during the entire story, but even that wasn't enough to change Fitzgerald's mind on the issue, though Louisa is one of the few people, whose opinion he respects. Honestly, this is such a waste of a truly useful subordinate. And speaking of which....

The Guild has never even tried to implement Edgar Allan Poe during the war...

This man is actually rather op when you think of it. He can capture and neutralise literally any ability user in Yokohama (besides Dazai, Mori and Ranpo ofc) just by throwing a book at them. Seriously, as we see with Chuuya, they don't even have to read it, they just need to see the pages. Plus the book can be actually sent via email!!! So why has there been an absolute zero amount of strategies with the use of this ability??? They could actually try to catch Atsushi by sending him such email containing any of Poe's mystery stories and then safely carry him back to their base. And it doesn't have to be just Atsushi, it could be literally any of their enemies. Non-combatant, like Ranpo could use this pretty damn well to his advantage and it doesn't take a genius to understand the potential of the "Black Cat in Rue Morgue". But nooooo, it seems like everyone has just forgotten of Poe!!! (Tho to be honest, I can actually see this situation in a funny extra awfgbfggfjj. Not the main story however) The agency would never even learn of his existence, if he didn't personally decide to try to fuck Ranpo's life up. Like, what does Poe even do in the Guild? He's the master architect and, according to him, the third ranking man in the organization, but we never see him be of any use, so Idk. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Lucy at least got to do something, unlike this poor man.

Then there's the entire drama with the Guild's decision to destroy Yokohama. Where do I even begin...

First of all, Fitzgerald has no way of knowing that Atsushi is going to come to Moby-Dick to fight him. Poor guy is the Guild's primary goal and has already gotten himself captured once, so it would have been safe to assume that the ADA decided to hide him somewhere and not send him on any dangerous missions for the time being. That basically means Fitzgerald could have burned down not just Yokohama, but also the only person, who could actually help him find his precious Book.

But if we're to ignore this, let's also go with Wikipedia then~

"Yokohama is the second-largest city in Japan by population and the most populous municipality of Japan. It is the capital city and the most populous city in Kanagawa Prefecture, with a 2020 population of 3.8 million. It lies on Tokyo Bay, south of Tokyo, in the Kantō region of the main island of Honshu. Yokohama is also the major economic, cultural, and commercial hub of the Greater Tokyo Area along the Keihin Industrial Zone."

..........................

Good luck making up for the destruction of THIS, Fitzgerald 🖕

And if this in itself wasn't bad enough, most people, including me, tend to forget that all Guild members are actually big shots in the American government, which I think is very sad. Because first of all, can you imagine any of the Guild members actually working as politicians?!! The sheer idea makes me hysterical avshbgj. Like, just consider Lovecraft working as a senator or something. This eldritch horror of a man leaves the ocean once in three years at best LMAO. Second of all, I have a feeling, that the destruction of Yokohama at the hands of influential politicians from a foreign country would have resulted in an international conflict or two~ Like as if random deranged rich Americans arriving in Japan, wreaking havoc over there and destroying the second largest city in the country wasn't bad enough, these Americans just HAD to be super influential businessmen and politicians. Louisa, my dear, I understand that it wasn't your intention, but it's as close to a declaration of war as it can get, you know? Fitzgerald may be ready to do anything to resurrect his dead daughter, but I'm not sure, that the execution of himself and the rest of the Guild at the hands of the Hunting Dogs is something he'd like.

(And here's another funny thing that stems from them being politicians 🤭 As @originalartblog wittily pointed out, Fitzgerald wasting all his money fighting sskk has probably resulted in a market crash and recession over in the USA)

I also have some other questions in regards to this entire plan, such as why did they have to waste Moby-Dick just to destroy Yokohama? Yes, it works in the short term, but in the long term they loose a super powerful fortress with the stealth mode and as the practice shows, you better have a safe base, unless you want another lemon freak to blow it all up. I mean, you could just ask Lovecraft to destroy everything for free. Or, if the device is the only way to stop the giant whale from crashing, why didn't Fitzgerald just take it to a far away bunker or something and waited things out there without the need to spend millions of dollars just to survive the explosion? (And it would have been extremely funny, if during the fight with sskk he just threw the device overboard) But I think I have already rambled for long enough already atxhghbgv XD

The Guild is an even bigger mess than the DOA and I think that's glorious 🙌

[checkoutmybookshelf]

He's Just a Herald and He's On Fire!

So, if there is one consistent theme with protagonists in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar universe, it's that there is a STARTLING number of them who are misfits in their families, misunderstood, and a little anxious and melancholic about the whole thing. You'd think that this would get boring fast, but Lackey manages to mix up the details enough that they don't meld together in my head, and in point of fact, I have actual favorites. One of whom we are talking about today. That's what this post is for. Lan Chitward is one of my favorite herald protagonists. Let's talk Brightly Burning.

Hi, hello, welcome. If this is your first time on my blog, please be warned that this is A SPOILERIFIC ZONE. I will SPOIL THE CRAP OUT OF THIS BOOK. Consider yourself warned.

Y'all, I am a Shakespeare scholar, so if I ever post anything along the lines of "Tragedies suck and I hate them," please send help, I've been kidnapped. Your girl LOVES a good tragedy, and that's really what this book is: An Amazing Tragedy. But that's just the end for Herald Lavan Firestorm and his Companion Kalira.

At the beginning of this book, we meet Lavan "Lan" Chitward, ugly duckling son of a pair of extremely prosperous merchants who feels ignored, misunderstood, and transplanted from the place that made him happiest. Kiddo has zero desire to follow either of his parents into their trades, so when they hit their wits' ends, said parents send Lan to a merchant-run school so Lan can find himself a direction in life that he feels will suit him.

Lan's parents might not be able to empathize or communicate with their son, but they did try to set him up for success. They tried. They get a couple of points for that. Not a lot. But a couple.

Unfortunately for Lan, he gets to discover the downsides of private school firsthand when he is relentlessly and cruelly bullied by older students. Lan's anxiety and very real, rational fear of bodily and social harm get so bad that to save his life, his Firestarting Gift explodes out of his control. By the time the smoke clears, four boys are dead and Lan is being carted up to the palace to explain to Herald Pol what on earth had been happening in his school and how the fire started. Stress from being questioned makes Lan lose control again, but before he can start a second killer fire, Kalira chooses Lan. Handily, Kalira is the daughter of Pol's companion, Satiran, so Pol is aware from the jump that Lan is more than just Kalira's Choice: The two are lifebonded.

Go nuts, Ao3.

However, this is about when the members of the heraldic circle start looking at each other sideways and going, "oh no. Firestarting Gifts usually only pop up when we're going to need them..." So while Lan is getting tutored by Pol, Kalira, his new best friend Tuck, and Pol's daughter Eleanor, Karse is causing trouble at the border--like preparing to invade and burn all the heralds to death trouble. Karse is not your friend, and their sun priests tend to target heralds and healers, and the only thing worse than being killed by Karsite troops is being taken alive to be burned at the stake or--for healers--be forced to use your gift until you burn out and die. So: Bad Situation.

Ultimately, the command decision is made to send Lan to the front. Lan at this point is an emotionally unstable, half-trained at best trainee herald. The poor kid is getting yeeted into a situation he is absolutely unprepared to handle. Before he and Pol even MAKE it to the front, they're attacked by a scout group and Pol is blinded--put a pin in that, we're going to come back to it. So Lan gets to the front already traumatized and somewhat sans his trusted mentor. It's not good.

Ultimately, the title of this book comes back to haunt Lan and Kalira: they burn, too brightly. Kalira takes an arrow in battle to save Lan, and in his grief and rage, Lan unleashes his final strike, taking out the Karsite army, an entire pine forest, and even some of his own soldiers--firestorms are hard to aim. Lan is posthumously raised to full Herald rank, and losing their entire army puts Karse on the shelf. It's the very definition of a pyrrhic victory, however. Lan burned himself out at age sixteen. He was a half-trained child doing his level best, and he was put in a situation that he was objectively unready for. It's heartbreaking, it's tragic...it's WONDERFULLY done.

The entire time you're reading this book and falling in love with Lan and Kalira, you're thinking "they'll be alright, won't they? They have to be alright." But you have enough other beloved characters that you get to know well enough that you also get to mourn with them once Lan and Kalira are gone. You get pulled into this story and you just want to hug Lan and stick him somewhere safe. This is one of my favorite Valdemar books, no question.

This is where I want to just briefly come back to Herald Pol and the attack that costs him his sight. I have no objection about the context in which this occurs. Shit happens in war. It's tragic, it's traumatic, it COMPLETELY SUCKS, but there aren't any red flags in terms of how Pol is disabled. There is also a fairly realistic period in which Pol is trying to adjust to not having sight. He also can see through Satiran's eyes for short periods of time because magic, but since this comes with a cost in energy and magic and doesn't inherently negate the disability, we're still fine. It's an emergency stopgap measure, not a functional cure. So far, so fine.

Unfortunately, there are a couple of things I don't love about how Pol's blinding is handled. The first thing is a bit "your mileage may vary" rather than a genuinely harmful negative representation, but it threw up a faint red flag when I was reading, so I'm talking about it. Traumatic injuries are so described for a reason; people have very very valid feelings and reactions to being suddenly and violently disabled, and part of adjusting is having the time and space to work through those feelings. Now. Pol and Lan are literally in a war zone, they are indispensably important figures, so they can't just be sent home. There also kind of isn't time and space to deal with the emotions in a war zone. All of that is fair enough. It would suck to have to just swallow the feels and keep functioning, and that could even lead to some good narrative tension.

That's not what happens though.

I'll just give you the text from the book for this bit:

Some time during the ride to headquarters, Pol had made up his mind on several points; it had given him relief from the pain to work things logically through in that way. Losing his eyesight was not going to be a tragedy, and if Ilea could not Heal him, then he would simply accept that. The events of the evening only confirmed that belief. He worked through everything as logically as he could during the ride, and during that night and the day and night that followed, in his dreams he was able to employ a technique called directed dreaming to work through things emotionally. It wasn't easy; he exhausted himself all over again, weeping for what he had lost and raging against everyone involved, including himself. But it had to be done, and quickly, and dreams were the best and least harmful place to do so.

I'm not going to say that his experience as a Herald and soldier don't give this some credibility, and I'm not going to say that narrative compression isn't a thing that writers can and do use to get characters from emotional point a to point b, but this stretched my credibility just a skooch and made me go, "They're going to keep him blind, right?"

Reader, they healed him at the end of the book. Can we PLEASE let him live a full herald life while blind??? He was no less effective without his sight than with it, and A LITTLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY REP AMONG THE ACTIVE-DUTY HERALDS WOULD BE LOVELY. Plenty of them live with anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, or other mental health challenges, but heaven forbid a herald have a physical disability.

This is a pattern I'm noticing more and more in books. Soldiers and soldier-adjacent characters can experience mental illness and disability, but not physical. It's that really annoying mind-body split looming large, and I don't have a good solution for this other than letting active duty characters also have physical disabilities, rather than having them be cured, retired, or in roles that never require them to be in the field. And I do get that like...if you are physically disabled, your best bet is not to be in a fight, but that's not how LIFE works. Sometimes the fight comes to you, or your expertise is needed in the field. It happens. LET IT.

Other than my growing frustration with disability rep in military, military-adjacent, and martial-esque organizations in fiction, I love this book to little tiny pieces. It's a beautifully executed tragedy without being self-indulgent or unnecessarily maudlin.

[glxwstxcc]

Holes headcanons :D

Stanley (caveman):

probably addicted to minecraft. (He forces hector to play it with him, but he doesn’t mind)

stanley is the type of guy to prance around and skip when he’s in a good mood 💀

Has anxiety and/or adhd

his love language is physical touch. (He hugs hector all the time 🥺)

he’s probably afraid to close his eyes in the shower. (It’s okay, bro, me too.)

he ate play dough as a kid.

painfully awkward in social situations. (Me too bro, me too)

since he’s kinda tall, he doesn’t know his own side sometimes and bumps into things often.

He’s such a baby when he’s sick. (His mom always takes care of him and she babies him as well, so she’s partially to blame.)

played violin in elementary school but switched to trumpet in middle school.

he loves to dress up for halloween and go trick or treating. He does not give a F*CK IF HES TOO OLD, HES GETTING THAT FREE CANDY.

his favorite color is probably blue. (Super basic, but it’s valid)

unashamed weezer fan.

probably watches adventure time or regular show or some show like that.

cat person.

he loves dinosaurs.

oh and he’s a smashing pumpkins fan.

his favorite subject is chemistry or science.

he probably tried to smoke a cigarette to be cool but he ended up almost dying.

Hector (zero):

bro is probably a Roblox kid.

his love language is quality time.

he gets a little uncomfortable when Stanley hugs him sometimes bc he’s not really used to that sort of affection, but he starts to like it more over time.

he loves watching SpongeBob SquarePants and he makes Stanley watch it with him.

probably and arctic monkeys fan.

Also a Radiohead fan.

fantasizes about beating the sh*t out of people. (DUDE DID YOU SEE WHEN THAT FIGHT ALMOST BROKE OUT AND HE IMMEDIATELY GRABBED A POOL BALL TO SMASH SOMEONES HEAD?.?????)

Gorrilaz fan.

he’s a big Garfield fan as well.

oh and hes also a red hot chili peppers fan.

dog person.

he probably plays guitar.

always wins at card games.

When he was a little kid he wanted to be a magician or a zookeeper when he grew up.

absolutely goated at laser tag.

Ricky (zigzag):

he’s just a silly little guy 🥺

Lowkey the mom friend.

nirvana listener.

I feel like he hates spinach idk why.

yapper.

he has a really stupid sense of humor. (Like if you said the word “ball” or “nut” he would crack tf up)

South Park watcher.

plays cod regularly.

closet Lana del rey fan.

bro can’t cook for shit.

he always bothers the rest of d-tent with his random thoughts in the middle of the night. (Zigzag: “if all my future children are in my balls rn, doesn’t that technically make me pregnant??” Squid: “I swear, if you don’t shut the f*CK UP RIGHT NO-“

raging feminist energy.

his favorite animal is a giraffe 😍

he always uses the shittiest pick up lines on girls he likes (they never work 😢)

Alan (squid):

TERRIBLE at bowling. (Like when he goes the throw the bowling ball he slips on the glossy floor and almost f*cking dies)

brushes his teeth way to hard.

he can’t handle caffeine 😔

He’s a HORRIBLE speller.

If anyone falls asleep around him, their face is 100% going to get vandalized. (Never pass out when there’s markers about, kids.)

Green Day fan.

watches regular show.

bro probably uses three in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash 💀

he has a pet bunny that he loves and cherishes with all of his heart.

Theodore (armpit):

idk why but I feel like he loves kids and babies and he’s really good w them.

surprisingly great at public speaking.

he and x ray always do karaoke together.

system of a down fan.

when he was little he got hit by the school bus 😐 (he was okay tho).

he probably has a diary that he writes in with glittery gel pen. (he also begins each entry with “dear diary ✨🧚‍♀️🌸,”)

Rex (X-ray):

lowkey a theater kid.

proud solitaire player.

he still enjoys coloring and he is NOT ashamed 😡.

regularly plays fnaf.

queen fan????? 👀

he is ready for Christmas IMMEDIATELY after thanksgiving.

train enthusiast.

he has hello kitty and Sanrio merchandise but would never EVER admit it to anyone.

he owns all of the diary of a wimpy kid books.

Jose (magnet):

bro’s favorite subject is probably history 🤣🫵 (valid).

if one of the d-tent boys is in the phone with literally anyone he will moan as loud as he can.

strong believer in the five second rule.

rammstein fan.

sings HORRIBLY in the shower.

he likes to bully small children on roblox. (Valid)

When he was a little kid he walked through wet cement and his parents had to chisel the concrete off of his feet.

he also sleepwalks often.

Brian (twitch):

bro is such a little f*cking freak like dude wtf is wrong w you (and we love that for him.)

yeah that’s kinda all I have for this kid. He only had like a minute and a half of screen time so I didn’t have much to work with.

anyway yeah sorry they gradually got smaller and smaller but yeah wtv I hope you enjoyed :D

[sometimesrosy]

There is something that truly frightens me these days that teens and up are very unfreaked out about these days and it makes my eyes saucer big in shock. I'm on plenty of reading forums where "readers" say they forget the novels they read the second they finish them. They aren't concerned at all about it and when anyone starts to question it they describe reading as just walking past 100's of paintings in an art gallery and only enjoying the paintings for the length of time it took to look at them. Am I just showing my age to think this is nuts? Wasting time to not remember a thing. Then also think they are winning at life to go through a hundred books a year like this?

So I have a different take on this.

Remember please that as an English major, English teacher and writer, I am invested in paying attention to literature. It's a deep pleasure to analyze and understand stories and poems and essays solidly.

Saying that... that's not the only reason to read or the only way to read.

You're allowed to read just for pleasure. Just for the wild ride of the book and not have to be able to critically analyze it when you're done.

You're also allowed to read for escapism. This world is way crazier than it used to be, and we used to think the world was crazy forty years ago. Kids often don't have a lot of control over their lives and reading is a way where they get to feel more in control and/or safe.

When I was a teenager, I didn't read a hundred books a year. I read, oh, I'm guessing, four to five hundred books a year. I read 1-3 books A DAY.

Why?

One. I had a two hour commute both ways. Two. I didn't have money so reading was my entertainment. Three. I only had like seven tv channels, no streaming, no social media etc. And four, and the main reason. Reading was my coping strategy to deal with a difficult, scary and sometimes dangerous homelife.

Do I remember all the books I read as a teen? Absolutely not. I like to say that those books went into "the soup," and they certainly did. I don't remember them for particular narratives, but I remember general conventions, patterns, tropes, structures, timings, moods, themes, cultural expectations, etc. I credit that intense reading period with making me a writer. Reading became as natural as BREATHING.

Do you remember every breath you take? No, of course not.

Admittedly, it turns out that I have adhd, and that sort of hyperlexia is a trait of adhd and autism, so there's a reason for it. I'm not normal and never have been. But you're looking at reading patterns here that aren't normal either.

So these kids are addicted to books.

GREAT! Do you know what other kinds of things kids COULD be addicted to? So many bad things. Let them have their speed reading. Let them do PJO or their ACOTAR or their fanfics. I don't know what kids are reading today.

Reading is PRESCRIPTIVE. People read for what they need and what you may need-- a wider view of the world or intellectual stimulation or a hit of beautiful language-- may not be what these kids are reading for-- escapism, anxiety, entertainment. And neither of those reading needs are wrong.

I read like those kids when I was in high school. And I was one of the only ones I knew who did read that much. I think it's good that reading is cool because it wasn't in the 80s. BUT after I did that 6 year sff binge, I went to college and got a degree in English, and I did NOT read that much anymore. I read more slowly and wrote essays and analyzed books and chose new genres and talked about books and remembered quotes and all that. And I read more slowly for, oh, twenty years, until PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, chronic illness and stress got to me. And then I started binge reading again. Now the genre guarantees a happy ending to combat the anxiety, and it's non-intellectually demanding so my ADHD brain can actually rest instead of going a mile a minute as it does when I don't have something occupying it.

I read 224 books this year and I absolutely can't remember them all. I have to keep a log with titles and authors and ratings and summaries so I can remember which ones I liked best. I reread those, and the second (and third and fourth) read helps me remember the plot and characters and everything else. A close reading is different for me than an entertainment read. My business is words, so when I read for entertainment I don't fuss.

So here's what I'm saying. Reading is good even if you think they aren't reading right. There is no 'right' for reading. If they're just reading for escapism, that's fine. If it's fostering a true love of books that might become a career, that's great. If they're reading as a coping strategy. Leave them alone unless you're a therapist and can help them out.

Another possibility you might want to consider is that it's your questions that are making their brains go blank. A lot of people have trouble answering direct questions like that. And if they actually sat and thought about the story or characters and kind of unfolded it from that direction, would actually remember. By 'a lot of people' I mean me. My adhd brain doesn't remember like that. But if I go back to my log and look at my summary, the narrative will come back to me.

[i-write-sin-not-tragedy]

Okay hi guys i am so sorry for how abrupt this is; but I've decided to shut off my DMs for a while.

In the last few days I've gotten a really big influx of people trying to message/talk to me and while i deeply appreciate it, its been making my social anxiety go absolutely nuts to the point im too stressed to even get on tumblr half the time.

Im not mad or blocking anyone just for trying to speak to me!! In fact im very thankful this many people think im cool enough to talk to (im really not lol)

But my anxiety had just been crushing and with the advice of some close friends i think this is the best way to go about it for now. I apologize if this hurts anyones feelings, you are totally welcome to unfollow me if this genuinely bothers you, i get it, im just putting my own mental health first.

My ask box is still open and i will answer those as i have time!

[mercifullymad]

yeah i have ocd too and ive been reading your posts + the ask you answered and man i really really feel it. i was in erp for about two years steady, and i was genuinely able to overcome a few of my less severe obsessions that way, to a large amount of relief. but for my most severe thing, a (very visible, facially) brfb obsession/compulsion that has caused me so much strife and social anxiety for years, i got next to nowhere. even when i would manage to go a handful of days without doing it, i would inevitably lapse - and then feel like absolute shit about it, because i felt like i wasn’t strong enough to win this battle i’d been told i’m fighting. since i have some overlapping perfectionism issues, this cycle was just brutal for my self esteem. then my regular erp therapist retired, and ive been meaning to get back into it but the thought just.. exhausts me. but then i also keep brfb-ing myself and still need help with that. but then erp wasn’t really working on it anyway… it’s really left me feeling like i don’t know what to do. so on the one hand i fully agree with what youre saying about how erp is not necessarily the answer to every o/c and that reassurance is not the Worst Imaginable Thing to offer a person with ocd, but unlike some other compulsions that im sure could be lived with, the thought of going through my whole life doing what i do is… hard lol. socially, mentally, physically hard. anyway i dont mean to just vent at you.. i guess my point is that yeah its just so so so frustrating that erp and fighter mentality is treated as kind of the be all end all solution for ocd right now.

like not to sound like a baby but. im not looking for a fight, im looking for help!! and yeah “only i can save me” or whatever but it feels like ocd is kind of underrepresented in the world of mental illnesses that are/can be utterly debilitating. because its nuts that there is kind of no other treatment suggestion for who are really suffering and simply arent - for whatever reason, temporarily or otherwise - the vigilant mentally tough fighters erp recovery models want us to be. and i dont even mean that in a defeatist or deprecating way, i mean like.. sometimes your ocd makes you depressed! and then, what with the depression and all, you just don’t have it in you for what erp demands. im not a psychologist or anything but man there’s gotta be a better a way

I really relate to and empathize with what you’re saying. I also struggle with a BFRB where I pick at my face and other very visible spots on my body, which increases my already-substantial social anxiety. It is an absolutely brutal cycle for self-esteem, including how you feel “defeated” by not being “strong enough” to be a “OCD fighter.” This is another reason why I don’t like the fight(er) framing around OCD; it makes those who don’t respond to ERP in the prescribed way feel like they have failed, rather than there being a morally-neutral mismatch between the treatment and the individual. 

I do want to ensure we don’t fall into the misconception that critiquing ERP or other “gold standard” treatments for OCD means that the only other option is to learn to live with OCD without attempting to alleviate our suffering or cut back on our compulsive rituals. I have tried, as I’m sure you have, a great many things to try and stop myself from picking (badly) at my face: countless fidget toys, thick press-on nails, NAC pills, pimple patches and hydrocolloid band-aids, reducing my anxiety levels, avoiding mirrors, etc. I doubt I will ever completely eliminate my urge to pick, but I can pick and choose (ha) from what treatments, therapies, and means of harm reduction I find most effective in combination with each other. I can try lots of different things and see what works for me and what doesn’t. And this approach — going in with the assumption that many things won’t work for me, and some will, and neither of those results is a moral reflection of how hard I’m “fighting OCD” — allows me to have a more compassionate and forgiving relationship to myself and my picking. 

You really nail my own feelings when you say “I’m not looking for a fight, I’m looking for help.” This framing of requiring mad/mentally ill people to be “fighters” in order to receive help/treatment is extremely counterintuitive for those of us too depressed to muster up the energy to “fight.” One of the reasons I stopped structured ERP was because I was too depressed to get out of bed, let alone go out into the world and do daily exposures. Like most of the mental health treatment industry, this treatment is not structured for people seriously struggling in more than one area, despite the fact that most people do. 

I agree that there has to be a better way to treat/heal from/live with OCD than the limited options we’re given now, and I believe that creating these “better ways” starts with conversations like this one: talking, sharing, and brainstorming with other mad people and forging new ways of relating to each other and ourselves. I sincerely hope that you’re able to hold compassion for yourself, regardless of whether you “lapse” in picking, and that you’re able to access means of treatment that work best for you as an individual. This is an extremely difficult thing to live with, but thankfully, we don’t have to live with it alone — there is a community ready to commiserate and create with you, regardless of how “successful” you are at “fighting” OCD.

[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary + bird secondary

Hi, I'm here to submit a SortMe, but take your time getting to it, it's no rush ^^ To start, I'm pretty sure I'm a Snake Primary with a Badger model. As a kid in school I was quite a stereotypical Badger, kind, openminded, helpful etc. but I was still kind of a spoiled brat (3rd and last child). My family bowed to my whims many times, and I threw many tantrums... in fact, I was very kind only outside the house, and quite selfish with my family.

It's kind of interesting that you had SUCH different presentations at home and at school, and are so self-aware about it. It's kind of making me think Actor Bird, because those personas are situation specific. School!You and Home!You.

Another note is that I never had a proper best friend(s) in school or anything, I was the type to be on the fringe of the social circles, knowing most people,

That also kind of makes me think Actor Bird: a different "you" for every group? And if you were a Courtier Badger, which is possible, I would have expected you to befriend *groups* more. But here it's all about individuals.

being friends with some, but never really super close. I was always jealous of that.

I see where you're getting Snake primary, this does sound like a primary thing.

Anyway, as I got older, depressed, burned out, my Badger burned and trying to help everyone in the world became too much. I thought at first I was a Burned Badger Primary, but I realise that while I do sometimes feel guilty about not helping every person in need, I get more satisfaction helping myself or my own friends. Genuinely the things I can excuse my friends for has sometimes lost me other friends. So I think I'm a pretty solid Snake Primary.

Yeah, I'll second that. Maybe at one point you thought you *should* be a Badger primary, or were *supposed* to be a Badger primary. But Snakes are practical, and you don't seem to be cut-up over any of that.

The Secondary gets hard. Depression and lack of purpose, motivation

... and People, I'll bet

made me burn and for a long time I didn't know what my Secondary was. Now I think I may be a little Bird/Badger, but I've associated that with studying/hard work so much it felt alien to me. But while schoolwork has always been a chore, for fandom stuff I can go nuts making quizzes and spreadsheets for innocuous things most people don't even care about. I run a video posting account and when I'm saving videos to post, I'll sort them into categories despite the fact that I usually don't go through the categories later at all?

You know what Bird secondaries like? Categorizing, organizing, preparing.

I've made a dozen different accounts for different fandom purposes—bots, roleplay, etc. I'm not sure if any of this helps actually, but I feel like it's the only way to see my Secondary LOL.

It's Bird :)

All those descriptions about Birds gathering a billion different skills for opportune times never resonated with me, though. So I was never sure if I was really Bird.

I think you're probably defining 'skill' differently than I am. To me, running dozens of blogs, knowing how to write bots, quizzes, roleplay, make spreadsheets... those are absolutely skills.

Maybe it's just Badger? I do like to have people around me to rely on, but that might be a social anxiety thing.

Or a human thing.

I suppose in a problem I tend to default to asking friends for advice before I google stuff. Okay so maybe I am a Badger Secondary? Damn did I just answer my own SortMe? Um... well anyway I hope you can help me figure it out/confirm it haha. Thanks for reading this far.

You're a Loyalist primary, and it sounds like you've got people now (which is good.) I would be surprised if you didn't talk with them. But the actual evidence and descriptions of problem solving... have all been Bird. Your secondary was Burnt, and I could see how that could make you distrust/devalue it. You might absolutely have a Badger model, or maybe the Bird is a model you built *because* you burnt out the Badger (that absolutely happens.) But I'm just saying what I see.

[yvesdot]

I didn't want to vote in the poll and skew anything since I visit my library at least monthly and participate in events, but as a regular patron of multiple libraries throughout my life (& a teen library volunteer at some point), this is a great list of reasons someone might or might not visit the library and I'm very curious about the results... bonus thoughts below. Many, many bonus thoughts below.

Transportation is possibly the largest issue: in my personal experience, most of the younger people I speak to who wind up pirating books instead of getting them from the library simply can't get there. Their parents won't drive them often enough, they aren't within biking/walking distance, and public transportation is awful. (eBook lending is also notoriously difficult due to the deranged copyright contracts involved, leading to massive wait times.)

With that said, many also read a lot more spontaneously than libraries can provide: they want their books available now! I can't tell you how many people of all ages come into the bookshop I work at, hear a book can be available within three days, and immediately go to Amazon. There is a real effect of "easier" and "faster" options: if you can pirate the book right now, the logic goes, why even bother going to the library?

I also find some people like to own their books, however briefly, especially when they can afford to do so. Many people prefer to buy a book, take however long they want to read it (and take it wherever with no fear of losing or muddying it), and then, if they really don't want it, get rid of it.

And of course social anxiety is an increasingly relevant issue in places where resources do not allow for searching library systems (or ILL) on your own, and especially if someone might not understand Dewey or similar organization efforts and not want to ask. Even getting a library card involves talking to people, and I remember getting some strangely brusque responses when I couldn't immediately produce multiple pieces of mail to a new address. I continuously forget that there is anything odd about my extremely transsexual appearance, but if I were a teen concerned about my GNCity, I might not want to interface with some of the largely older folks staffing the library (an institution facing a real staffing and funding crisis, but requiring inaccessibly high amounts of experience and education).

I would also argue that even more than the importance of individual events is the importance of advertising these events the right way. Younger people seem to spend less time on all the nuts and bolts of library websites and newsletters and more time not just on social media but in person: are there flyers clearly visible to people browsing the Teen section? Can you tell just from walking around the library where to go if you want to know more about events?

And with all that said, in case it's not clear, I absolutely adore libraries with every bone in my body and encourage everyone to do a little research into their local one and see if you can discover an exciting secret! Many libraries offer free printing, free magazines to read while you're there, financial advising, author workshops, and more; I like to come to my library's monthly reading series. Get out in your community! ❤︎

As a young librarian, I started trying to figure out why more young people aren't ever coming in; 90% of our demographic are the elderly and parents of children, and the rest are a rough mix of the kids and teenagers who come in just for school projects. As a result, I've been attempting different ways to get the Youth TM to come into libraries, but first I wanted to see why they don't come in. Please reblog to get this poll out to more people! <3

[bonnie-is-bumbling]

How shite do people have to be?

I live in a rural town in a red state. Believe me when I say I absolutely want out, but I can't afford to go to the end of my driveway and back as it stands. (<- that is an exaggeration, but if it goes to explain anything, it's that I'm a peasant and currently cannot move forward due to financial obligations. )

So, there are Electric Vehicle charging stations, but they're so far and few here that it's ridiculous. And when new ones get installed, the town goes nuts, and not in the good way. They simply gripe about and hate on EVs, which... Fine, to each their own. We do live in an area where four wheel drive and a bit more power is necessary. Especially in the winter. I don't agree with their hate on EVs, but I get where they're coming from, only because I was raised by the super conservative "fuck your ecosystem, our money we make with fossil fuels is more important" type.

Still, their view is theirs, and they're entitled to their own opinions, as I am entitled to mine, and you are to yours. The thing I'm trying to get over is that when someone with an EV gets stranded here, they don't get help- they get made fun of. And that... That I hate!

Story time:

I work at a hotel, right off the interstate, and a woman comes in, panicked. Her Tesla has died three miles short of the nearest charger, when it claimed it had ten miles left.

I work alone, and since an EV can't be towed via a simple strap and pull (I learned that today,) I did the next best thing when tow companies wanted to charge her an arm and a leg. I hopped on ye olde book of the faces (facebook/failbook) and I asked the local group if there was anyone who could help her, even if it was a generator with enough charge to get her three miles. She was perfectly kind, and I had no qualms with doing that aside from my own social anxiety.

Three in the morning makes it just that much tougher to get help. But I know from experience that kind souls do exist in town. And while I was able to pass on a few phone numbers for her to contact, I was ashamed to see people taking the time to just hate on EVs and post nothing helpful. I get it. You're a Trump cultist. But just because you don't like something doesn't mean nobody else can use it. How disrespectful do you have to be to laugh at someone who is stranded in an unfamiliar place? Shame on you.

(And to clarify, not a shame on the reader, a shame on those laughing at this poor lady's predicament. A shame on those dissing on what she drives instead of offering some kindness. )

It's scary enough to be AFAB in the US right now. It's even scarier to be from somewhere with 24/7, tons of resources and be stuck in a dark, rural area you don't know with zero resources when you're AFAB. (It would be scary for AMAB, too! I'm not invalidating that, either.)

I guess in the end, people, no matter their political views, just need to be nicer to one another. That EV that people here don't like might be the best money saver somewhere else, like where the stranded is from. I lost a little faith in humanity today.

For those wondering, no, I could not tow her myself. While I have a capable vehicle, I have no trailer or anywhere to get one at three in the morning, and as the only staff on shift at that time, I could not leave the hotel. I passed my failbook post on to my relief, knowing that at least those I've worked with for almost three years now would be kind to her.

[ahegato]

Obey Me Brothers: Views on Romance

m.list

TW: slight swearing Characters: demon bros Writer: ahegato

LUCIFER:

he’s pretty old fashioned

pulling out chairs, opening doors, fancy dinner dates, giving roses and expensive jewelry

lots of “my love”, “darling” and “my dear”

he hasn’t experienced a lot of casual love, where you just stay at home and watch a movie or something like that

it kinda hurts his pride, because it feels like he’s not doing enough to spoil his partner

however, with time he’ll get used to it and actually start to enjoy it

not big on PDA other than an arm around the waist or maybe holding hands

maybe also a kiss or two, just to flex on his brothers a bit xP

MAMMON:

he pretends that he’s too cool for romantic stuff

literally everyone can see through that lie

he’s not big on dates where people can see him

because he’d be too embarrassed about being vulnerable (like expressing his emotions) in front of others

if he’s alone with his partner though…

it’s like a switch has been flipped

constant kissing, hugging, cuddling, compliments and gifts

“I saw this and it made me think of you”

*literally just a pretty rock he found*

it’s so dumb yet so fucking cute at the same time

I can’t with the raven boy seriously

LEVIATHAN:

ew romance

such a cliché and gross and normie thing

…yet he can’t help but like it and fantasize about it

he’s almost embarrassed about it

not really into the whole ‘going out on dates’-thing

because he has pretty bad social anxiety and there’s people freaking everywhere

closest he’ll get to an actual date is going out to calm places with little to no people

only exception to that rule is cosplaying together at conventions

what he really likes is the whole high school / ‘young love’ kind of love

holding hands when walking somewhere

or “sneakily” holding hands under the dinner table (which is obvious to literally everyone except the couple)

playing video games together, watching movies or anime

posting lyrics from a song with a pic of them holding hands on devilgram

SATAN:

AWWWW YEAHH

romance nut over here

not exactly old fashioned like Lucifer

he’s just a hopeless romantic, but also pretty chill in a way?

like hanging out with his partner at home and just making it hella romantic (candles, rose petals, chocolate)

even if it’s something as simple as a movie night or a sleepover

constant compliments about looks, personality, everything really

SO. MANY. POEMS.

dinner dates, whether at home or at a restaurant

he wants to shower his partner with affection and is very fond of PDA

if they don’t like hugs/kisses in public, he’ll be kinda sad but will of course respect it

ASMODEUS:

casual love and old fashioned love, he likes a bit of both

dressing up and looking his absolute best for a romantic date is awesome

but staying in and watching horrible romcoms in your pajamas is also awesome

not really into the whole gentleman stuff

but he wants someone to spoil

and someone to spoil him

going on dates with matching outfits makes him absolutely melt

posts pics of his partner whenever he can

usually writes really lame stuff like “look how cute they are akfjbfhngkfkf”

BEELZEBUB:

romance is nice, but not something he necessarily needs or craves

dinner dates is obviously something he loves

but honestly he could go to freaking mcdonald’s and he would still think it’s the most romantic shit ever

he likes the cute but lowkey kind of love

kind of like middle school love

gives food or snacks as gifts

gets super happy if his partner does the same for him

if his partner gets cramps or something like that, he’ll go buy literally anything for them

likes to help people out, especially his partner

he always adds “i love you” when you guys say goodbye to do your own thing

BELPHEGOR:

thinks it’s very cliché and not very fond of it

he doesn’t wanna have to take his partner out on dates to different places very often just to keep them happy

or constantly give gifts

if he’s gonna give you something, it needs to have some deeper meaning to it or be something useful (like a pillow or blanket)

he prefers to stay at home and do something or nothing with his partner

something away from other people

like sleeping together (and I mean actually sleeping), watching a movie, maybe have a picnic or go for a walk

prolly likes taking pics of you while you’re sleeping or when you guys are cuddling

good luck getting away once he’s snuggled up to you. you ain’t going anywhere

✦ 08/05/2023 ✦ ahegato ✦

[nyanfaer]

I've never really dealt with my inability to eat around new people bc it's never seemed like a problem, just a quirk

Turns out it's never seemed like a problem bc social anxiety means I am a total recluse and when you invite a new person into your house to stay for a while it very quickly becomes one

So I feel like I can't go into the kitchen unless everyone is on the other side of the house and I've only eaten a handful of nuts today and I am Absolutely Not going to Talk about this with my Usual Person bc I don't want to make things Awkward

This is fine

[abbinurmel]

an update several months later:

So this far I have tried the non-stimulant variety of strattera, the stimulant variety, and now I have tried both 10 and 18 mg of Ritalin. None of these have really produced consistent results that I want. But compared to many other people who have tried ADHD drugs or antipsychotic things I am fortunate to have never suffered debilitating side effects beyond anything I have had on a natural day. I have experienced mostly just regular fatigue, and sometimes increased moodiness on the strattera, and maybe a bit more focus and memory improvement on it. Where as far as the Ritalin goes, it's always a dice throw between maybe the energy/task focus improvement of a standard cup of coffee, or absolutely nothing at all, maybe even considerably a more lazier and fatigue day if I don't have added protein to eat, energy drinks, Theanine, and B vitamins to back it up. I don't seem to react very much to over-the-counter Omega-3 supplements whatsoever either but I could for all I know not be taking the right dosage. I seem to react the most effectively in my moods to the l-theanine / B vitamin supplements with probiotics, and eating cashews but any variety of nuts and seeds does well, fish while giving me a bit of energy and hunger brain fog focus does not seem to improve my memory or general task doing much. I tested for celiac disease, negative result, which shocks me because I was really thinking I was on a roll there. I have debated if maybe I have even an allergy to dairy but I consume so much cheese and milk in a typical day, that I don't think if I actually had an allergy to it I would be at all well, not just a mild rumbly in my tumbly gas or lethargy, as I know people with the actual lactose intolerance condition are much more severe than that and in pain even if they don't have the really severe kind that could kill you outright. I'm sure it's probably not healthy to consume large amounts of dairy too much but I don't think I eat even that much beyond one or two small bowls of cereal perhaps every other day. I don't consume meat regularly or heavy suites or soda and colored drinks either. I'm a pretty fairly healthy person dietwise, even though I don't exercise much, but I'm always active at least for 8 hours a day at my job. I don't know why all my life I've been plagued with this mental fog I don't even think the smartphone thing anymore, because all my childhood I remember vegetating on the computer, even before there was social apps like there are now, and even before internet existed for hours. I could never eat food without getting distracted and anxious unless I had a book or a comic to read with it or television in the background. I always had difficulty paying attention in class and staying invested in any conversations even with people I liked and enjoyed being with for very long. I don't know why this is it's very frustrating and exhausting because I don't hate people or socializing either on the whole, I would not call myself an extrovert but I'm certainly not an introvert either; I crave novelty and going out and doing things with others sometimes. I don't even mind getting drunk or high in public. So while I can become anxious at times under the right circumstances I don't even think this is an anxiety disorder or anything like that causing emotional burnout... I don't know if it could be low-key depression or s.a.d but I really doubt it too. But I know lack of vit D could lead to similar factors. Everyone says anemia is possible. But I get iron. Oh well. While on the whole this is very inconvenient and killing my dreams as usual, I have the benefit of a pretty free lifestyle right now that allows me to at least not be scrutinized and bullied. My family is very supportive. I'm grateful to live in a time where I don't have to be locked up for it. I don't know if this is relevant to having been on the drugs for a while or not or if the supplements have been doing all the work but I've noticed mood stability.

Can anyone tell me, regardless of if you have adhd present in you or not, how do you throughout your day keep from being phone addicted and not suffering from task choice burnout or physical fatigue?

My frustration stems from the fact I do not have a very busy schedule most of the day. But doing ANY task that is of need to be done, or stuff that I enjoy but is knowingly not part of a meaningless passive quick pleasure but something I have to apply to and see an indeterminable "result" out of, such as art or writing, has been very hard, especially starting.

I always feel this shortness of breath and tightness in my chest if I even so much as think of something boring or am scrolling thru any long meandering articles or listening to any long boring topics of conversation. I feel like a cad but just being bored even a little for a moment fills me with distant disgust and irritation and I can feel my own neurons shut down and falling asleep. But I feel sorry about that even though I am pretty sure its biochemical. Its not like I am the most thrilling interesting person alive.

How do you keep focused and energized? Caffeine seems to stabilize me mood wise and occaisionally gives a short burst of mild mellow pep but the pep sure doesnt last nor does it help make me actually want to do something and stay on it til complete. I just feel calmer and more awake.

My doc perscribed me Focusin which I will try for the first time soon. I am very nervous cos its my first try with stimulants and I know it is a dice roll. Either way, drugs aside, I want to know how do you prevent constant energy burnout and any prevalent desire to even care about your phone? Do you use things like minimalist phone apps or lock screens or timers? Has anyone made you report to them or taken it from you? Let me know in the comments!

[ejacutastic]

saw some sprinklers in a yard on the side of a busy road and almost pulled over and stood in them because I'm that close to just going absolutely nuts

[fereldanwench]

I'm going to be obnoxious and presumptuous and tell everyone how to live their lives because I feel like the Cyberpunk 2077 fandom* has an endemic problem with this self-imposed expectation to post new ~*content*~ on a regular basis that is just not sustainable for like 95% of us. And as someone who has also, unfortunately, grappled with that anxiety even though I know it's silly, I feel compelled to tell everyone (myself included) to stop doing that to themselves and slow the fuck down.

(*Probably other fandoms, too--I have many, many Thoughts™ on how ~*content creator*~ culture has had detrimental effects on fandom on the whole, but that's a broader topic for another time.)

Participating in fandom is a hobby, not a grind. No one is going to be upset with you for letting your queue run out or missing a themed day. Nobody expects anyone to have multiple original posts on a daily basis. Your friends aren't going to forget you if you need to take a break. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty or stressed because a real-life obligation has to take priority over a hobby.

Recognize the ebb and flow of your creativity so you don't burn yourself out. Give yourself the time and space to work on long projects and learn new skills, even if that can't come with regular updates. Let yourself be in the moment while you create. Savor your art--Stop asking yourself "What do I post next?" immediately after you finish a project. Take pride and joy in the work you've already made without wondering how you can make your next post even better.

Understand your limitations and accept that others might not have the same limitations you have. Someone who is single and unemployed is going to have more time to dedicate to learning virtual photography than someone with a family and a full-time job. Someone with chronic fatigue is going to have a harder time churning out fic than someone without that condition. Don't compare your output to someone else's. We all have different creative processes, different backgrounds and skills, and different demands on our time and energy.

What works for me to break out of this mindset might not work for everyone, but these are the 3 main things I find helpful to keep me from succumbing to the darkness:

Intentionally break a streak Have you been posting every single Thirsty Thursday for the past 6 months but are having a hard time keeping up currently and feeling stressed about breaking the streak? BREAK IT. Skip one. Even if you have a post, schedule it for the following week. It'll feel wrong at first, but on Friday you'll realize it didn't matter, your friends are still here, and you will no longer be beholden to this inconsequential posting requirement that exists only in your head.

Revisit old posts/drafts/WIPs/outtakes Go through your old stuff! Let yourself enjoy what you made in the past. Reblog it so new friends and followers can see it. Remember what it was like to work on it and the sense of accomplishment when you finished it and what you learned from it. You might even get a bonus and find yourself inspired to revisit an idea or create a new take on it.

It's an obnoxious cliche at this point, but yes: touch grass Online fandom spaces have been a cornerstone of my social and creative circles for over two decades, so I am not by any means suggesting that there is no value in spending a lot of time here. But you absolutely need to take breaks from your devices and reconnect with the physical world or you will go nuts. Go for a walk, spend a day outside with friends or your pets, pick up a tangible craft like coloring books or journaling--Just find something to get you away from your computer and phone.

tl;dr - Creating in fandom should be fun and enjoyable and a reprieve from all of this shit, not an extension of it. There's absolutely no reason to put this burden on yourself to be some superfan posting new work 37 times a week. If you're in the zone and you've got that flow, roll with it, of course, but don't feel like it always has to be like that because it won't be. And that is completely fine.