#but my libido is actually far lower than one might think based on the posts I make

[omegapheromone]

I can't say I fully or truly get it, but I can at least relate in some way to your experience with this. Maybe it's more just from the perspective of an omega who isn't all that emotionally available when that's what is often expected of omegas- but still. I don't wanna ramble on too much (oops) but I figure maybe sharing my experience will at least be relatable/comforting in the sense that you'll feel a bit less alone/isolated with it?

Most of my relationships have ended because I have not had enough to "give" to the other person, and end up coming across as disinterested or detached as a result. It's not because I don't care for or don't like the people I've dated (though I'm also not trying to say I don't have shitty exes who definitely were the problem bc I do), it's more like... trying to force myself into matching the emotional needs of other people always drains me and stresses me out, which then ends up backfiring because I become irritable and resentful because I feel like the person is draining me dry without ever letting me rest. The biggest part for me is that I absolutely need space. A LOT of space. Sometimes, I absolutely NEED to have the ability to simply drop off the face of the earth for an undetermined length of time- and by that I mean days, not hours- and just exist in my own bubble with my own thoughts, without having to worry that someone else is losing their mind and getting upset because they're not in constant contact with me. I don't WANT to be a burden and I don't WANT others to be hurt because I'm so aloof and prone to needing time on my own, but knowing that that's almost certainly what I'm doing is painful. Some exes have also become paranoid and distrustful, convincing themselves I MUST be cheating because my activity says I'm online but I won't respond or cater to them specifically, when the reality is that I'm holed up inside my room playing a game, so overwhelmed with social interactions that I'd rather pull out my own teeth than interact with someone.

It's one of the main reasons I've avoided romantic relationships for the past few years. I realized I wasn't really made for it- people who are looking for an omega partner usually have way higher expectations and desires than I can truly provide them with. A lot of this is trauma, the rest is agoraphobia + neurodivergency and of course, some degree of being on the aroace spectrum myself (likely demi). I still WANT relationships and enjoy them, it's just that I've accepted most of them aren't going to work long-term because I just cannot match the emotional needs of most people, and me wanting some degree of exclusivity at least instead of being truly polyamorous makes that even more difficult.

What I'm trying to say is, you're not entirely alone in feeling so excluded and like an "outsider" to romantic/etc relationships. Even if it comes in different forms for people- I tend to feel similarly that the "there's someone for everyone" statement is kind of bullshit- it doesn't account for the fact that not everyone has the ability to meet the needs and desires of romantic (or other) partners, while still having such needs of their own.

I get the loneliness. Sometimes I watch my irl friends who are in happy long-term relationships and I wonder why I turned out the way I am, and why I still have to deal with the concept of wanting similar emotional fulfillment, even though I fully know it won't work out. It feels like standing outside a window looking in, or being separated from everyone you know by this invisible wall. They'll beckon you to get closer and you want to, but at some point one of you is going to crash into that wall and get hurt, and the wall will always be there no matter what. It sucks. I've found some peace with it and I don't think about it much these days, it's not a major point of sadness for me, but it's always sort of there, lingering in the back of my mind, the awareness that there is that wall between myself and everyone else. It doesn't stop me from enjoying life or anything, but sometimes it's a source of melancholy no matter what.

I'm constantly torn between wanting to be just a pack member with like a bunch of platonic friends, and wanting a QPR to snuggle with and be semi-intimate with.

My AroAce Self knows I probably would get uncomfy depending on what the other person asks of me. But the Alpha Self wants someone soft and cute to hug and scent and take care of.

Old people always say that there's always someone out there for us. But I don't think that's a universal truth.

Maybe some of us are meant to just be alone, idk.

[cncorner]

A Mildly Detailed Account of my First Month on T (because not a whole lot happened yet)

I’ve been waiting for this moment for years, it seems.

I’m on a weekly dosage, injecting .3mL of a 200mg/mL solution every week (so I’m getting 60mg of T a week).

We’ll start physical then “mental”.

Physical

1. Voice drop! I don’t have a analysis picture from when I first started, but I do have a picture from my first week. My voice was definitely higher than the first picture because I had that T-cold happening, but it’s the only one I’ve got.

April 12, 2019, average is 178Hz:

April 29, 2019, average is 161Hz:

The second one is from last Friday, because I test my voice on Friday after my shots.

I don’t believe that my voice sounds male yet. I also believe that the androgynous range in the app is a little too high. According to this video about the first computer generated genderless voice, the androgynous voice range lies between 145Hz and 175Hz. I guess that means my voice is androgynous.

My voice also is lower in the days right after my shot. My shot’s on Friday, so it’s actually a touch lighter today than it was several days ago.

Within several days of my first shot I could reach lower notes than before, but my regular talking voice was unchanged. At this point I’d say that I’d be unable to speak in my OG voice, but the difference is so slight that no one (except for me) has noticed.

2. I haven’t experienced any changes in my hair yet, whether head, face, or body. I work as a swim instructor, and the chlorine burns off my body hair enough that people have asked me if I’ve started shaving my legs (I haven’t). If I’ve grown more body hair, it’ll be a long time before I notice. My hairline hasn’t receded any, and I don’t have anything that looks remotely like a mustache starting.

3. I also haven’t noticed any changes in how I smell, but, again, I work in a pool. I either smell freshly showered, or like chlorine.

4. My athleticism has increased greatly since starting. I wouldn’t have considered myself very active before starting, but T has made it a lot easier to work out. Since it’s easier and less demotivating, I’ve started exercising more. I’ve started swimming laps at work during my downtime and breaks, so I get about two hours a week. I’ve also been building muscle faster than I’m used to, so I’m pretty excited about that.

5. I have been getting acne. My routine keeps it minimal on my face, but I do have it on my chest and upper back, and under where my bra sits. I’m not sure how to deal with the body acne. It’s not bad, mostly just red spots that are mildly sore when pressed on.

6. I think my biggest change is downstairs. It makes me really wish that I had photographed the changes, to be honest. I wasn’t exactly gifted before, so any change was going to be incredibly noticeable. I think the strangest thing was that there wasn’t a lot of change in the, er, glans, but the hood and the length underneath has swollen massively.

I think those are all the physical changes. I’m overweight and have those birthing hips, and I’m growing my hair out. My passing rate is probably around 0%, either based on face or voice. My students (who are little kids) sometimes ask me if I’m a boy or a girl, but since my hair got long enough to pull back they’ve stopped asking.

Mental

So far, the mental changes are enough for me to want to be on testosterone for the rest of my life (knock on wood).

7. I’m more creative, gentle, and compassionate in the few days after my shot, and considerably more patient. I get very cuddly and loving, significantly moreso than before. I also don’t want to say I’m more emotional, but it’s hard for me to even watch Disney movies because I keep tearing up at the intense moments. I haven’t cried yet, though.

Near the end of my shot week (so Wednesday and Thursday) I get more short-tempered, but it’s not extreme. Knowing that it’s an effect helps mitigate it. I also have difficulties sleeping, but it’s a toss-up whether that’s from the drugs or because I still get excited and eager for my next shot.

8. In a weird trick of fate, I have not experienced a libido increase yet. I was really looking forward to that because I have a fairly low libido. In fact, I’d say it’s even decreased. I posted about it before, and a couple people mentioned that it might be because my body’s still reeling from all the new hormones. I’m still trying to keep that in mind. I had frequently wondered if I’m asexual before, and I think it’s also possible that I am asexual and I feel confident enough to assert it now rather than just going with a sexual encounter “just because”.

9. What I’m interested in sexually (when it’s there) has changed as well. I still think there’s a case to be made that I was interested in it before but I was unable to assert (or acknowledge) my desires until now.

10. I also haven’t felt an increase in hunger, either. I am kind of a compulsive eater, and my desires to compulsively eat have gone down dramatically. I’m very good at ignoring regular eating ques because I tend to eat at the compulsive ques. It’s possible that my hunger has gone up a lot, but it’s just in a way that I find very ignorable. I am incredibly thirsty constantly. I definitely don’t drink enough water.

11. I’m more fidgety now. It’s really hard for me to keep still. I’ve started watching Game of Thrones and I’ve been crocheting a blanket while watching. I’ve gotten over two week crocheted in a blanket that’s 5.5 feet across.

12. I’m also a lot warmer on average. It makes me wish that I had started this process back in, say, October, rather than waiting until right before summertime.

13. This is one of the more interesting changes, I think. I’ve finally started seeing myself as “a man”. Before I started I didn’t really identify as a man, just identified as a not-woman-please-get-me-out. But at around the two week mark this “internal identity” of being a man popped up. So I actually feel like a man, now, even though I don’t look like one.

All these changes decrease in intensity towards the end of my shot week.

I think that’s everything! I’m very excited to see what the next few months bring.

[jusadode-blog]

ONE MONTH OF T (in 2 days but I set my T days for fridays to align with my pharmacy)! THE SHIT I’VE NOTICED SO FAR (nsfw warning):

Please note: I am a special case and very reactive to T. My results so far are not the usual, so don’t use this as a reference post for your own experiences but more of just things that can or will happen in your own eventually. Also, if you notice these major changes very quickly, talk with your doctor to keep an eye on your t-levels since taking the usual dosage could be life-threatening. I had to personally (entirely by my own choice to the suprise of my doctor) to delay my shift to full dosage for another month due to risks involved. If at any point you feel like T is hellish or giving you too many bad side effects, talk with your doctor and they can lower it or give you other treatments to cope with the things. This is also super fucking disorganized, so if you wanna take tidbits of this and use it in your own masterpost go fucking wild mates. Also this format is fucking ugly but <3

Okay, so first and foremost: They weren’t lying, Testosterone does raise your libido. HOWEVER: After the initial shot it’s been pretty chill for me afterwards, even as a very sexual person. If you’re sex repulsed, ,asexual, or just don’t like the feeling of being horny, you might want to talk to your doctor about options to possibly lower your libido again if the T triggers it after more than a month. 

[NSFW] Testosterone made sex EASIER for me (personally). I used to be dry as a bone pre-T and just assumed I had some issues with vaginal stuff and would probably need to be put on estrogen cream like some other dudes and pals [also, most doctors will wait before giving you estrogen cream as that can actual cause more damage if unnecessary). The very first week I started T though? The rivers were flowing, the drought was over, and sex also became a lot easier for me (Albeit still hard since I have other issues going on). Also, suddenly I was experiencing “physical” horniness again (something I hadn’t had since middleschool) without the need of “psychological” horniness first. Like, usually I had to think of sexy stuff to get my gears going but suddenly just my body is throwing open the doors and windows now before I even know I’m even turned on mentally.

Your doctor might start you out on the half-recommended dosage for transitioning, this sounds SUPER scary to binary trans guys and enbies who want results fast, but honestly? Sometimes, your body reacts more. I literally have tripple the dick length and diameter I originally had in under a month (still under an inch), my chest is already more masculine shaped and drooping, as well as my voice is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on (I can feel it being funky). In one month. If I had started on the regular dosage, I might have actually died since I’m so receptive to testosterone. 

*Something* might change in you. Literally the first week after getting my shot, I suddenly was over 80% happier, more relaxed, and almost all of my social anxiety was out the window. Rather than being afraid and skittish in public, I’m more of just uncomfortable now. Also, I went from a bottom-veering verse to a top-veering verse, as well as I’ve found it a lot easier to look at other guys and be attracted to them comfortably??? This is probably almost entirely psychology related rather than biology, but still worth mentioning. It’s not like I changed as a person btw, it’s more of it’s easier to be happier as well as it’s easier to be the person I’m supposed to be.

My chin hairs doubled but they’re not ready to breed yet :’(

My knees got hairy?? I have scar tissue over areas of my knees and so when I noticed the hair growth was now covering them I was very surprised.

[NSFW] Your cum is gonna change smell and appearance. Your piss is gonna change smell. The first while it might be a bit of a PH balance issue (don’t try to treat it without a doctors assistance since you’re in a special case), but it’s gonna change. My personal scent went from a “potatoey” natural scent to a vaguely public restroom smell in a month (which worries me greatly cause that means I’ve been to bathrooms people jerked it in). It’s gonna be a bit uncomfortable getting used to your new biological functions smell, especially if you already had issues with them, but it’s for the better.

T-Shots CAN BE PAINLESS. I’m still learning how to do injections since I didn’t actually have a nurse to help me (HAHAHAHAHA THANK GOD FOR YOUTUBE FOR FUCKING CHRISTS SAKES HAHAHAHAHA), but I’ve had 1.5 shots so far that have been pretty painless. My first two shots hurt a lot (first time I panicked and did a LOT wrong, second I still goofed a bit), but my third time was so ungodly painful during injection because I had pulled the fat too far back but upon releasing there was NO muscular pain, just injection pain. I’ve just had a completely pain-free shot using a pull technique with my shot, but PLEASE NOTE: Fat deposits is a major thing to consider in this. The more fat in the area, the more it hurts. I’ve moved slightly upwards towards the top of my leg while still following requirements for the shot to be safe, and I’ve found a sweet spot where my muscle has almost no fat there. The longer you’re on T, the more fat should move from your legs and to your stomach (with a reasonable amount left behind), but trans bears are in for a bit of hell unless they find their own thing.

Protip to keep your muscle relaxed: Lay back in your bed with a pillow propped under your ankle of the injection leg, make sure you’re breathing the entire time, and do a steady push with the 60-90 degree recommendation I see everywhere. Do it with the needle angled towards your knees (handle towards your head), and it should help hurt less. 

You get a lil bit dumber. I’mma leave this vague, but like watch your impuslivity mates. Before engaging in risky behavior, always discuss with yourself pre-event to ensure you know what you’re willing to consent to, what you’re not, as well as always know if you can’t say yes to something with confidence then it’s a no. This is mostly written in regards to drunk and spontaneous sex (Always have a basic outline of what you consent to under most circumstances), but also like if you’re gonna go smoke weed with friends and someone brings out some harder stuff. Set this based upon your own personal ethics, beliefs, comfort, etc..

You get acne where you never had it before. WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A ZIT ON MY TRECHEA??? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW.

If you have the Herpes virus ( both mouth and genital), it might break out more frequently and worse for a while due to hormone changes (this will balance out). Watching your diet and avoiding trigger foods, stress (hahahaha), and using proper treatment products at the first sign of an outbreak will help prevent them from happening or being too severe. Talk with your doctor about possible medication options during breakouts, as well as preventative ones. 

Your skin is gonna be fucking whack for a while. Have you ever had dry, acne-encrusted skin? I HAVE. My face was so dry after my second shot of T yet still covered in so much acne it was the weirdest shit ever. I’ve changed around my skin routine a bit (I literally just use a acne medicine I used during my first puberty and a new skin lotion when I notice dryness).

Your appetite might change. Make sure when starting testosterone you eat reasonably healthy, and make some life choices to ensure you don’t develop heart disease. I’ve begun eating vegetables at least once a week (considering I’d go months without them and eat starches in their place, this is revolutionary), and I’m still trying to properly dedicate myself to a work out routine.

Belly? It’s gonna look a different kind of fat. Mine suddenly looks wider and generally more protruding, and for me I enjoy this since I don’t wanna be a twink. AFAB’s tend to store body fat in hips, theighs, and butts, while men tend to store it in their stomachs and around their organs (meant to be burned quickly during fight or flight, but just causes heart disease now.) A good site covering this pretty effectively is: https://www.erchonia.com/how-men-and-women-store-fat-differently/ , but please note this is a company that offers lazer surgeries related to fat removal so it’s probably at least somewhat biased.

YOUR NEEDLES AND YOUR TESTOSTERONE HAVE DIFFERENT RX CODES GIVE YOUR PHARMACY ALL OF THEM.

 Laundry detergent bottles make great sharps containers (most needles come with lids, but please do this anyways since it is a biohazard).

Sometimes, your needles will be more expensive than your Testosterone. This is why WV has a fucking HIV crisis with heroine addicts right now :/

Also btw, shop pharmacies and use apps like WellRX for coupons, one pharmacy offered me T for 60$ but the other offered me it for like 120$. Check out pharmacies like in Walmart, Target, Costco, and others to see who has the cheapest available if you don’t have insurance or have to pay copays. [You can do this with all medications including Insulin]

If you’re nonvegan/vegetarian, just eat more chicken and less red meat, it’s got more protein and less grease, and will probably save your life in the long run. 

Workout! You’re bodys gonna be fucking weird for a while, and finding a healthy way to let out your emotions is a great way to cope with the hormonal feelings you’ll get, as well as it’ll help keep your heart healthy and maybe even prep you for surgery. If you’re disabled, find out what works for you.

[NSFW[ I personally use a very weighted sex toy for lifting, and a modified NerdFitnesses’ 20 minute workout routine. https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/

Speaking of hormonal though, it’s gonna get real fucking ugly real fucking fast for a while. You’re gonna cry, scream, pout, panic, and then (assuming you are a sexual being) jerk off. It’s a mess for a hot while, mine started my second shot but it seems to be leveling out. Now I’m on my 3rd shot so I’ll find out when it’s too late if it’s any easier lol.

and finally:

Check out David Bowie’s “Changing”, they had it in Shrek but like apparently he did a version too and I’m hardcore kinning it right now.

[easyweight101]

Luvena Personal Lubricant Review (UPDATED 2017): Don’t Buy Before You Read This!

What is it?

Luvena Personal Lubricant is a vaginal lubricant containing prebiotics. This product may be used as a way to improve the condition of vaginal tissue during menopause, as well as making sex easier and more comfortable.

Luvena Personal Lubricant contains lactic acid and cranberry extract—ingredients used to make the vagina more acidic. An acidic environment helps keep bad bacteria from taking up residence in the vagina or urinary tract, which may work to prevent infections.

Our experts agree that Femmetrinol is the best option for taking care of the most frustrating symptoms brought on by menopause. This formula of herbal ingredients effects both estrogen and progesterone production, making this a more comprehensive approach to menopause care than many competing products. Click the link provided to learn more about how Femmetrinol can be your menopause secret weapon.

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Luvena Personal Lubricant Ingredients and Side Effects

Luvena Personal Lubricant is made from a blend of ingredients, most of which provide moisture and lubrication, as this product is part sex aid, part moisturizer. It does, however, contain a couple key ingredients known to foster a healthy vaginal environment. Here’s a brief look at the active ingredients in this personal lubricant:

Lactic Acid  Cranberry Extract

Lactic Acid: Lactic acid promotes an acid environment inside the vagina—this allows the good bacteria to continue to grow and colonize, while keeping out bacteria that causes infections.

Cranberry Extract:  Cranberries are a well-known treatment for UTIs, as they may help make urine turn acidic, killing bacteria inside the urinary tract. Additionally, cranberries contain a substance called salicylic acid, which helps reduce inflammation, prevents blood clots and may have an anti-tumor effect.

Click here for an in-depth guide to proper nutrition during menopause.

EDITOR���S TIP: Combine this supplement with a proven menopause pill such as Femmetrinol for better results.

Luvena Personal Lubricant Quality of Ingredients

Luvena Personal Lubricant is made from the typical lubricating agents—mostly filler ingredients that provide that signature slippery texture. In general, this product looks pretty good. It contains prebiotics, which when inserted vaginally, may help foster a healthy flora community in the urinary tract and genitals.

Luvena Personal Lubricant also contains a few forms of lactic acid, along with some cranberry extract, which work together to provide the acidic environment that helps good bacteria thrive.

In all, this product seems like it could do a lot for the sex lives of women going through menopause. It provides lasting moisture, plus has the potential to ward off infections due to pH imbalance or irritation that occurs during sex.

It is, however, worth remembering that users looking for menopause relief on a holistic level may want something that tackles hormone balance rather than directly dealing with vaginal comfort. Luvena Personal Lubricant certainly could be a companion product to an oral supplement aimed at getting hormones back in balance.

Learn more about which types of lubricants dry out your intimate areas, and those that provide critical moisture. Click for details.

The Price and Quality of Luvena Personal Lubricant

Luvena Personal Lubricant is available directly from the Luvena site for $10.99, as well as through some large national chains like Walgreens, Target and Bed Bath and Beyond. The product comes in a 1.3-ounce pump and generally retails for around $8.99. Walmart offers the same amount for $14.99, while Amazon has it for $12.

As compared to some of the lower-end, glycerin-based lubes, Luvena Personal Lubricant is slightly more expensive, but in most cases, will cost consumers less than $10.

Based on the reviews, as compared with the ingredient profile, this product seems to be of a decent quality, and likely won’t dry out sensitive genitals after sex.

Click here to learn more about taking care of your vagina during menopause.

Business of Luvena Personal Lubricant

Luvena Personal Lubricant appears to be made by a company that also uses the name Luvena Personal Lubricant. They have neglected to provide consumers with any contact details, aside from a form posted on the “contact us” page.

Phone: 877-522-5333

Address: 2103 E University Drive

Rancho Dominguez, CA 90220

Luvena Personal Lubricant is made by a company that goes by the name of Luvena. Luvena makes a few different products that all fall into this realm of vaginal care—making various topical moisturizing solutions for women experiencing dryness, infections and more.

In looking at the Luvena site, it’s clear that the design hasn’t been updated to reflect what most consumers expect from an e-commerce site. For example, there’s a list of the full Luvena product line, which offers a minimal explanation for each one.

You can’t click on these icons to learn more about the product, nor are there any separate pages that detail the product indications, ingredients and more.

Long story short, Luvena simply does not do a good job providing consumers with basic information about their products.

What’s also strange is, the third party sellers of Luvena Personal Lubricant have also made little effort in educating potential shoppers on what their products can provide. Granted, a personal lubricant is generally intended to be a sexual aid, but in some cases is a long term moisture solution.

In the case of many menopausal women experiencing vaginal dryness, there may be the need for a lubrication solution that provides more long term moisture. Healing dry skin cells and plumping thinning vaginal tissue, rather than simply creating a slippery texture conducive to sex.

We were able to find some additional information about the ingredients and the indication—it does provide hydration and protection against infection—but it’s unfortunate that the company website doesn’t provide a one-stop shop for basic info.

Customer Opinions of Luvena Personal Lubricant

Luvena Personal Lubricant is available through Amazon, the official website, plus a handful of other shopping platforms. Despite being fairly easy to find, there are few reviews from people who have tried this product, and even fewer from those who chose to document their experience.

In any case, here’s a quick look at what we were able to find:

“This product is far too thin. You think you’re getting something that provides a thick barrier, something both soothing when you’re a little dry, and for when you’re ready for sex. It’s ok, but expected more.”

“My doctor actually recommended this product to me. It’s been pretty great in combatting dryness, plus it’s light and has a pleasant scent. It’s a little hard to determine how much you should be using, though.”

“Luvena Personal Lubricant is good for blocking odor and itching, and takes care of the problem quick. It’s good prevention, too. Using this after sex seems to help keep infections away. I recommend stocking up.”

“This product is a little bit messy, but then again, it is a lube. I like the cranberry smell, plus it’s great for sensitive genitals. I’ve also been happy with how it handles dryness, as we age it becomes a problem.”

Luvena Personal Lubricant has primarily good reviews, and it seems women liked the smell and the fact that it differed from many of the sticky, drying lubricants that don’t really have women’s best interests in mind.

In general, this may be a good sexual solution to women experiencing menopause. While it certainly won’t help deal with problems like hot flashes or night sweats, or even the root cause of dryness, if combined with a hormone-balancing supplement, users might have some great results.

Achieve that ideal balance — experts share key points about what it takes to get hormones where they should be.

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Conclusion – Does Luvena Personal Lubricant Work?

Luvena Personal Lubricant is a personal lubricant sure, but it seems to provide a few more benefits than the standard lubes one might find in the supermarket. This product has a prebiotic element to it, plus cranberry extract for additional urinary tract support.

While the root cause of menopausal dryness is hormone-related (loss of estrogen thins out the vaginal tissue), this may provide some additional relief both during sex, and should the user need some additional relief from chafing or discomfort.

When we looked at customer feedback, it seems that people generally thought Luvena Personal Lubricant was a good product. Users mentioned they generally liked the texture, and felt it provided what they were looking for, but never mentioned if the lactic acid or cranberry did anything to keep infections at bay.

Finally, while we didn’t like the image the company put forth with their hard-to-use webpage, it seems that this product may be of a decent quality. It’s hard to find personal lubricants that are effective for sex, as well as for moisturizing dry skin and providing comfort.

After reviewing countless feminine support products, from lubricants to supplements and suppositories, it’s clear that Femmetrinol is the best option for menopausal women looking to feel healthy and balanced. Herbs like black cohosh, chasteberry and more help users eliminate hot flashes, vaginal dryness and help restore libido.

Femmetrinol is safely made in an FDA-certified lab and all ingredients have been tested extensively to ensure the utmost safety and efficacy. Click here to read more about why you need to try Femmetrinol today.

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