kanmine

[kanmine]

literally its so fun being abnormal about christianity and also being christian because i just said "id kiss judas with tongue" in front of my pastor and she squinted at me and went "do you need to be removed from council or are you going to be normal?"

[kanmine]

escapism yippee!!!!

[kanmine]

i just binged all of no home and welcome to room 305 in 2 days….

[kanmine]

Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”

[kanmine]

how to spot a writer:

unhinged google search history

crying over fake people

owns 200 notebooks (they're all empty)

[kanmine]

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

[kanmine]

have the last five years been just a complete blur for anybody else

[kanmine]

existential crisis shrimp

[kanmine]

[kanmine]

First off, spin this wheel.

You just landed on one of 200 fandoms that have been very popular somewhere on Tumblr over the years. Topics were chosen either from appearing on a @fandom end-of-year recap or from my own long (long, long) site memories before that.

also all of these fandoms are definitely things that really exist in the real world and none of them are Tumblr creations

[kanmine]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[kanmine]

we might have to check the time traveler detector with this one, folks

my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

[kanmine]

hm bad times

[kanmine]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[kanmine]

The Shape of Ideas

[kanmine]

“these are swans a-swimming, not swans a-dead” had me

on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love was investigated for his many flagrant violations of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918

[kanmine]

How to be a househusband and housewife together

There are many women out there who want to be a housewife. I, however, want to be a househusband. So, how is that going to work? You can't be a housewife and househusband together, right?

Wrong.

Here is my guide on how that is in fact possible and how to achieve it. Women, please listen up, because this is important to you when you marry me which I know you want to do.

Step 1) I become your househusband.

Step 2) You become my housewife.

Step 3) The bank takes the house.

Step 4) Can't be a househusband and a housewife without a house, right?

Step 5) Wrong. We pretend to move out, but actually we are just moving all of our stuff into the walls of the house, where we will live. Much like house gnomes.

Step 6) This can go on for years if we play it right, but eventually the family living there finds us.

Step 7) We get arrested on some trumped up charges like trespassing. We both know they are actually arresting us for daring to love.

Step 8) We go to prison.

Step 9) But what else is prison called?

Step 10) The jailHOUSE.

Step 11) We just can't stop winning.

Step 12) We get out of prison but have to reintegrate back into society.

Step 13) Where do we do that?

Step 14) The halfway HOUSE.

Step 15) We just can't stop winning.

Step 16) After we leave we have trouble finding stable employment due to our criminal record..

Step 17) So we become freelance DJs who play at clubs, restaurants, and parties.

Step 18) And what kind of music do we play?

Step 19) We just can't stop winning.