#but my laptop is SO FAR AWAY

[eileennatural]

i am once again thinking about killua and nanika

like I can't stop thinking about how much they are the same. Like nanika really kind of mirrors killua's emotional/personal arc throughout the series. thinking about the traits they share like...

pre-canon, both killua and nanika are tools. people (their family) are cruel to them, and they are made to enact cruelty onto others. the only difference is that killua can be controlled while nanika can't be. killua 'earns' his 'freedom' by virtue of him being much easier to manage/manipulate. nanika, on the other hand, cannot be managed so she and alluka are shut away permanently.

killua and nanika are largely beholden to the will of others -- for killua, its through illumi's needle as well as years of isolation, conditioning, and abuse by his family, and for nanika its in her nature.

but when they find someone who treats them like kids, or friends rather than monsters or a means to an end, when they're not being made to hurt others, killua and nanika both give freely and ask for very little in return.

killua, over and over, makes gon's 'wishes' come true, even if its at cost to himself. gon, kurapika, and leorio all pass the hunter exam because killua breaks a rule, ensuring the victory of everyone else there. he takes gon to heavens arena so he can train to beat hisoka, he agrees to help kurapika fight the phantom troupe because gon wants to help kurapika, he helps gon win greed island, and he gives everything to help gon beat the chimera ants. and all killua asks in return is that he be allowed to stay by gon's side. gon very rarely verbally asks or demands anything of killua (which some people portray as a sign of his selfishness, or that he takes for granted that killua will do whatever he wants, but i digress) but killua gives regardless because what gon has given to killua means so much to him --freedom, his friendship, his company, his trust, and his open and verbal affection.

nanika, in turn, fulfills all of killua's wishes and asks only for his love in return -- that he hug her, pat her head, and tell her she's good. She never makes cruel demands after killua's wishes because he never makes self-interested wishes, he never makes her hurt anyone for him. even as a child, he treated nanika like just another little sister, asking her to play with him and to fulfill the kinds of wishes she likes to do, such as healing people/animals.

killua (for most of the series) and nanika don't really have concrete goals or objectives of their own beyond securing love and affection by being useful to their favorite person (codependency twins !)

of course, killua and nanika are both eventually betrayed and incredibly hurt by their person, because that's just how codependent relationships play out, especially among people as young and emotionally immature and traumatized as gon, killua, and nanika are.

all of this culminates in maybe my favorite scene of the series, where killua realizes that he's hurt nanika in a similar way that gon have very recently hurt him, and also that by shutting nanika away, he's really just repeating their parents' abuse of her. so he doesn't just apologize, but he demonstrates that he knows why what he did is wrong, and why he did it, and promises never to do it again.

i only wish we cold have seen gon's apology :/

[raineandsky]

#97

“[Villain].” The supervillain beckons them closer from around the door. “I think you might like this one.”

He’s in their little captive room; being a criminal organisation has made them improvise their spaces. A hero is tied to the rickety chair in the middle of the room, ignoring them both with their head bent. A rare sight, and a nice one at that. A sight that suggests a hint of winning.

“Wait,” the supervillain says softly.

They wait. Nothing happens. “[Supervillain], what—”

A sound breaks through their question. A sniffle. The villain ducks slightly to look at the hero’s face, catching the glistening trail of long-since shed tears on their cheeks. Catching heroes is rare enough, but having them cry about it? Gold.

The supervillain flashes them a quick grin. “Wait ‘til you hear their cover story.”

The villain steps forward and flops down in the seat in front of the hero. The hero keeps their head ducked, holding back shuddering breaths, and the villain simply waits for acknowledgement.

Waiting is in vain, it seems. The hero refuses to look up, even when they clear their throat expectantly.

“I thought heroes were meant to be made of steel,” they comment eventually.

The hero finally looks at them, and the villain only feels slightly bad about the miserable quiver of their mouth and the leaking of their eyes. “I’m not a hero,” they say shakily.

The villain raises their eyebrows. Denial’s a new one. “He must have told you that!” the hero continues, their gaze set on the supervillain at the door, and on the last word they break down into tears.

The villain glances back at the supervillain and he throws them another elated smirk. The slightly bad feeling they felt suddenly splits into painful worry.

They turn back to the hero and open their mouth to say something, but it occurs to them they don’t know who the hero is. They’ve never seen them before.

The worry becomes gnawing.

“You’re not a hero,” the villain reiterates slowly, and the hero’s head snaps up faster than the villain thought they could move.

“Yes!” they cry. Hours of tears scratch at their throat. “Thank god, yes. I’m– I’m not a hero. The agency they– they took me off the street, I’m not a hero or anything or– I’m not anything to do with them I swear please the agency is just–”

“Stop,” the villain snaps, and the hero's words cut off abruptly. “The agency took you off the street?”

The hero nods as they gulp down another sob. “I don’t know why. They threw me out in a hero costume and told me to distract the villains, I don’t– I don’t know anything—”

“Hey,” the villain says smoothly. They scoot their chair closer to the hero’s. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re all here because we hate the agency, right?” They glance back to the supervillain, who’s looking rather unimpressed by this turn of events. “You’re on our side now.”

The sob escapes the hero’s throat this time. Or whoever they are. “I just want to go home,” they manage through the tears.

The villain fishes a tissue from their pocket, tipping the hero’s head back to carefully wipe some of the tears from their face. “I know,” they say softly, “but the agency might be out searching for you right now. We’ll look after you until you can go home, okay?”

The hero hiccups their next breath. “T–Thank you.”

“I’ll get you back on your feet,” the villain says with a sigh. They glance back at the supervillain scowling from the door. “And [Supervillain] will go find whatever the hell the agency’s trying to distract us from.”

[gay-strawberry]

he giddy

[luxurysystems]

Irwin,

I’m probably the last person you want to hear from. You’re also probably wondering how I got your email address—blame Ken. I know how you are so I’ll get straight to the point. I’ve come across a lucrative deal that I just can’t ignore, and I need you. I need you for one last job.

Even though we’ve ignored each other for— God knows how long— I just had to reach out because you’re the only one I trust. Should you choose to accept this job, I’ll split everything down the middle and I swear this’ll be the last time that you’ll have to protect me.

-Ted

P.s. If all goes well, I’d love nothing more than to catch up. I’ve missed you. There is so much that I need to tell you.

<-previous

[cinematicnomad]

hey! just wanted to drop in and say I really appreciate your terror gifs – you've opened up this really unique opportunity for us to discuss scenes in such close detail, not to mention how gorgeous the gifs themselves are!!! thank you so much for all your work <3

oh 🥺🥺🥺 ANON THIS IS SO NICE

i've been posting a terror gifset a day since november 2022 (!!!) and at the start i would post multiple sets a day. according to my blog, that means i have currently posts 708 terror gifsets since i started. which is. WILD.

but i've genuinely had fun doing it and i feel like it's made me a better gifmaker (god some of these scenes are so fucking DARK) and i've loved getting the chance to really hone in on the script and the individual scenes and characters. hilariously, despite being almost 2 full years into this project, i still cannot always identify the individual little white guys (there is a dude in the background of this tuunbaq scene with hickey's crew and i cannot for the life of me figure out his name!!!).

my point being: while this has been a labor of love for myself, i am SO thrilled to hear that you've enjoyed these sets and that you feel like they've given you an opportunity to talk about the show and i need everyone to know that i read every single tag added to my gifsets and it always makes me so happy. like, beyond ecstatic when i open my activity page and see a giant block of text 🥰

when i first started making these gifs i was worried that i was kind of late to the party and that no one would really be around to notice my gifs. i am so glad i was wrong and even if we ARE small, we are MIGHTY! and i love everyone in this fandom so much ❤️❤️❤️

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

i'm so tempted to send you like twenty of these things so i can better pick through your beautiful brain BUT i have managed to whittle it down to a semi-sane number!

as many or as little as you feel like answering!

2, 4, 13, 19, 31, 35, 49, 73

💚💚💚

Thank you, you amazing human you <3

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

So I try to write happy endings, or at least ending on an upbeat note with things heading in the right direction, and that was the plan for the honesty of pain. I wrote a scene with Paddy O'Gara picking Jamie up the morning after his confrontation with his father and bringing him to Ethihad for treatment. And it was going to end with Jamie showing up at his Mum's (where they would rebuild their relationship in another story). But, it felt too easy, ending on an upbeat note, so I ended it on a depressing note which aligned more with where Jamie is between seasons 1 and 2.

4. answered here.

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

I think just this lovely community here. I've loved becoming friends with so many wonderful people and amazingly talented writers. People like you my friend who are so supportive and kind and just lovely, lovely people. I don't tell any of my IRL friends about my writing. I don't know if I would find it as rewarding without all of you to share the process with and have a front row seat to watching all of you go through the same process. Love to all of you!

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

So what I read is definitely not like what I write. I love reading thriller type books.

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

Roy’s sister. We only see her in two scenes but those are her at work and then her interacting with her daughter and brother and I feel like we got a lot out of those two scenes but at the same time I don’t worry too much about it being OOC because we know so little about her. And as a little sister who delights in bothering my brother, I love to write that for her and Roy as well. Plus since I write so much whump it’s such a cheat code to have her involved in all that.

35. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

Oh gosh, I guess my beloved, Jamie. He’s so confident and secure in himself for the most part, and outgoing, wants to be the center etc etc. And that’s just not me, I’m very quiet until I get to know you (then I’m a sarcastic bitch).

49. do you want to be published some day?

I’ve had dreams of writing for years, but I’ve never actually attempted to write something original. I’m not sure I have the creativity to write a full novel or the discipline or intelligence to write one. Technically I did win a poetry contest in 4th grade and my poem was published in a poetry book but alas that is lost to time.

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

I visualize it like it’s the show, but sometimes the words just flow. Some scenes I have a general idea and others I’ve visualized in full detail by the time I start typing.

[warriors-synpaths]

Luminous better have some Blue World cameos!! I miss my wife Hayako!!!

[seaofreverie]

I actually made 9 drawings in 2 days

[sayaratyriea]

the fact that video games cannot be played outside on a nice sunny day is truly the greatest tragedy of our time

[pinewoodpipit]

I'm still alive and writing I've just been handling irl stuff and also playing a lot of elden ring

[pissfaggit]

Found this from when I needed a picture of John seeing Earth for the first time when he accidentally goes back and I was gonna post it making fun of the 0 thoughts nothingness behind his eyes but you know what I take it back a thousand times I take it back I'm so sorry for real. There is untold depths of emotion present here in his goofy fucking face. Far too much for a simple man such as myself to comprehend

[hyaciiintho]

🌸｡*ﾟ+. Oh shoot it's almost breakfast time at the hotel. Lemme... squeeze out one more reply. I'm gonna be hopping between reading and writing replies after I get home ♡ Still trying to keep up with everything, but thank you to everyone who's been writing with me and being patient with me whenever I have my moments of quietude!

Been trying to figure out what to do for docs since I've changed my mind and hate the layouts LOL but someday soon I'll get bios up and done (and headcanons... and relationships... and-- sweats)

Anyways, gonna focus on this last reply and then nyoom to the desk before my shift is over! Hope everyone has a lovely day!

[creaturetaled]

High desire to add a dragon oc on here we shall see!

[lesbiandarvey]

hmmm top 5 surprise song combos from the eras tour so far?

ooh good one okay

mirrorball and tim mcgraw from opening night

wouldve could’ve should’ve & mine in nashville

dear john & daylight ohmygod

rwylm & castles crumbling. she played rwylm in MY state and i wasn’t even there

new romantics & new year’s day. new year’s day is in my top five taylor tracks and the ultimate song of my favorite blorbos it’s so important to me and i’m so glad she played it

[nerdie-faerie]

Why is it that when I'm sick, finishing work late because a load of people didn't show up and ongoing work drama, stressed about my upcoming essay and still have a hour walk before I can get home, my dad is apparently kicking off and threatening to kick me out when I'm not even there??

[gillespiejr]

assigned visually impaired (and hard of hearing... haven't gotten that checked yet since im "too young" to have hearing loss) by my friends