#but my brother man - god he’s a person
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fiona gallagher // the angry man in the house
#ami weaves a web#for real this time!!! since it's not just a couple of pictures with lyrics from one (1) song lol#anyways#tw abuse#something about growing up with an angry abusive father and harboring all this fear and then watching your siblings learn his violence#and then turn it on you#and you're also this deeply angry person#there's no escaping that#but seeing your father's rage in your baby brother's eyes#the baby brother you've raised from infancy#god. it fucks me up so much#also the fact that fiona looks resigned to frank's anger and puts on this brave face when he's yelling at her but is visibly shaken and#terrified when it's lip or ian is breaking my heart#you can put up your wall of steel when you know someone's going to hurt you. but when you don't expect it...#man fuck these fathers who put their hands on their little kids#i should be allowed to go feral i think. hm. maybe i am just struggling to be at home with my family. anyways#fuck frank all my homies hate frank
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And I saw another beast come up out of the earth...and he spake as a dragon. (Revelation 13:11)
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The Coronation of His Majesty King Bastian I - The Hour of Wolves
When he was born he was a small thing. A screaming infant, a second son, destined perhaps for military greatness, but never dukedom. Never inheritance. Never conquest.
But at the inception of the light, the birth of the world, the moment between silence and splendor when The Glory breathed across the scope of creation: he was no small thing then.
Even then, he was coming.
His rise runs with blood: knives in the back, poison, betrayal, kidnapping and vengeance.
His rise burns with greatness: glory, family, rescue, love and ferocity.
The secret world recognized him before he knew himself. A fairy witch marked his passing and offered her slender wrist for his talons. A dead sun opens its mouth for him, a vanished Christ is his counterpart, a death knight worships before him, a raven-haired little girl holds the hand of her doting and beloved father.
The world we know calls him king of France, the monarch of a seized throne, a general who has promised the great lords England on its knees.
The Devil, in his own tongue, may call him son. The Glory has said nothing.
Would you know him if you saw him? Would you recognize what he is?
Bow, while you consider, and kiss his ring. There is a crown of flame upon his brow.
#MY SHITTY LITTLE GUY IS KING OF FRANCE BABY#local worst man you have ever met receives ancient crown of charlemagne in a coup with the help of his previously-despised elder brother#god help every last person who stands in his way#he made sure the warring princes locked in civil war were Dealt With (one dead one ~conveniently misplaced~) and stood in paris#before every lord in france with the burgundian army behind him and basically dared them to tell him no#he's a big money no whammies guy so he's promised them england's total surrender within fifteen years#or he'll abdicate#he's here for a legendary time AND a long time#if he can pull this off#(lisbet has received a boon and vision from the sunflower king and invented cannon several decades early so)#(london may be in the hands of the french sooner than we think)#(but then as many would-be conquerors find - you then have the horrors of northern england to deal with)#godspeed you lunatic#I have literally never been more pleased and proud of a fictional creation of mine in my life#he's come so far and also aria and I have made something really incredible#stay tuned friends#he's only going to get worse#heretic
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Day 3: Asclepius
Interpretation notes and trivia under the cut!!
Woo boy, this guy was another difficult character to settle on both a design and an interpretation for! Asclepius tends to have two big schools of thought for his tale, either he's the tragic doctor who resorted to illicit methods in order to save his patients or he's a strict scientist who was so skilled at his art that his resuscitations were called magic but were just science. I don't actually mind either interpretation, but due to the way I personally see Coronis and the way I chose to interpret Asclepius' birth story, I chose to focus on a different facet of Asclepius; Asclepius the family man. The theme of geneology and the inheritance of 'curses' through blood and birth is one that permeates this work and Asclepius, in a lot of ways, has not only inherited both his mother and father's banes but his actions and talents create new ones for his children. Throughout this, and all the many messy crimes Asclepius will commit in the name of what he thinks is necessary and right, he will willfully ignore the warning signs staring him dead in his face screaming that he will leave the burden of his work to his children and it will be easy. After all, Asclepius has made a career out of ignoring his own father's warnings and cautions, what are a few more red flags to ignore?
Less of a character note and more of a personal thing, but for a very long time I used his teenaged design when sketching out scenes and ideas but after tidying up my timeline, I realised that he would be an older man throughout the events of the story!! Since he's properly mortal, he would have to look his age and while that was slightly intimidating since I've not drawn many older characters, it also made me very excited since characters in the 40+ age range are rarely protagonists of these sorts of adventure/fantasy stories and working in the physical differences between him and his brothers was extremely fun!
Some fun trivia:
Youngest of Apollo's children currently alive and kicking. Maybe it was because Apollo so intensely regretted the way he dealt with Coronis but he doted endlessly on Asclepius and essentially personally oversaw his education and training. Because of this, Asclepius, without a doubt, is the child with the best relationship with Apollo between the brothers and believes unfalteringly in his father even if they have many practical and philosophical differences.
Has a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to necromancy and communing with the dead and spirits beneath the earth. Because he was rescued from the torch of death when he was babe, he has retained a connection with the chthonic. While he cannot exactly see figures like Thanatos or Hermes, he can certainly sense when they are afoot. Is very aware that Thanatos cannot stand him and expects to be taken by Ker when he does finally die.
Always keeps gold coins on him on the off chance he is spontaneously struck down while doing research or healing some previously unhealable disease. His father, upon realising that his warnings would be thoroughly ignored, pleaded for him to do at least that since after Asclepius is dead, Apollo would be unable to intercede for him.
Happily married and has four children! His eldest Machaon chose to follow his footsteps and became a gifted surgeon in his own right while his second eldest Iaso chose to follow her mother's footsteps and become more of a nurse than a doctor. He's endlessly proud of all of his children and hopes his research makes the world a better place for them.
Was recognised by Apollo at 15 and became Doctor Laureate at 17. Lost said laurels at 22 after he revived his second corpse from the dead and since then has been on a strict probation when practicing his medicine. Has a mark on his left wrist that will fill itself out if he commits such an atrocity again and then he will be marked for death and supposedly tormented until he forfeits his soul.
On very good terms with Orpheus and the two often work together and catch up when they happen to meet up while travelling. Never knew Eurydice but he gets the feeling that he would've really liked her.
Despite being a son of Apollo, has absolutely zero musical talent and cannot dance. He can't maintain his hair either and would've cut it multiple times over if Apollo himself didn't stop him and chastise him for even thinking about such a thing. Epione does his hair. The little braids in his beard are courtesy of the twins Hygiea and Panacea who enjoy putting little braids in anything they can get their hands on.
Doesn't resemble his father or his mother actually! The relative he resembles most is his paternal grandfather Zeus, a fact that gives his wife endless grief because his hair is thick but not curly, a trait she covets. Asclepius having thick body and facial hair was also very awkward considering Apollo is incapable of growing body hair and, for a while, his lack of curls and cascade of body hair when Asclepius started puberty made Apollo doubt whether Asclepius was truly his or if he had saved Ischys' child instead.
Has zero self preservation and will hunt monsters and creatures for their blood, teeth, claws and hides for his medicines. Like his father, he has a personal 'wall of horrors' where he stores everything from gorgon blood to pegasus feathers to hydra venom. Sometimes gods in the guise of men will simply give him precious materials because they know Asclepius is the one who will take their unsolveable cases in the face of disaster. It is a very risky exchange and has only barely skirted by Zeus' notice because actual money hasn't been exchanged (yet).
Preferred weapon is the scalpel and doesn't like fighting humans. Has a fire-retardant mantle made from chimera skin Apollo gave him when he was a child that doubles as a very good shield in a pinch.
Favourite colour is withy purple and his favourite food is goat butter spread on bread and topped with celery, tomatoes and olive oil. Has a lot of snake themed jewellry that he's passed on to his son because he thinks they're too gaudy for his old self to be wearing.
#ginger draws#pursuing daybreak posting#the way I want to talk about Asclepius and Artemis but CAN'T because that'll inevitably lead to talking about Hippolytus??#and that is BEEG spoiler nonsense because Hippolytus' whole affair plays out so much differently here than in myth#anyway Asclepius is fun - a fun guy#if I had to describe his personality in a word it would be dangerous#Dangerous in the kind of way you can only be if you're tempting fate and have a family tbqh#Asclepius is well meaning but because he's gotten away with flouting rules for so long he has the confidence#of a man who thinks he'll always get away with it even after Apollo's warned him so many times#He also has what I affectionately call “Dad-blindness”#All of his brothers have gone through it - that phase where they're super disillusioned with Apollo as a father because they haven't seen#how ruthless and cold he can be as a god#most of Apollo's mortal children don't live long enough to actually get disillusioned? but Aristaeus and Orpheus very much#have a much more complicated view of their father than Asclepius' “Apollo will always protect me because he's my father” view#no one tell him#asclepius#greek mythology#october art challenge
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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reading a Sanderson book is like. wow I can't wait to read the most fucked up insane sibling dynamic ever
#im a simple man. i read Sanderson i think about what it means to be a sibling and then i scream#wasps are trapped in my head everytime i think about how adolin and renarin literally adore each other#but then you hop over to mistborn and read about kelsier and marsh and youre like FUCK oh my GOD#lets not even delve into how hard i go thinking about shallan and her brothers#something something ive known you since the day you were born and i love you so much but sometimes i have to hold back#AND TIEN??? ohhhhhh ohhhh my god#Kaladin sums up the eldest sibling thing he really does like. imagine.#tien being the person who cheers him up and then LOSING HIM??#then getting a bio brother plus all of bridge four as brothers#im sobbing <3#stormlight archive#cosmere#renarin kholin#adolin kholin#tien#brandon sanderson
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My father keeps texting me like a desperate ex begging for just one more chance please please please please and it's starting to freak me out
#SIR TAKE YOUR ATIVAN#at 4 this morning i finished baking cookies (i stress-bake) and went to watch house and doze on the couch and he started freaking out#he was like texting me ''you don't have to come visit me but my parents want to see you'' ''are you afraid of me?''#''i don't want you to be afraid of me'' ''have i ever hit you?'' ''i've never hit you i'm all bark but no bite''#''i would never hurt you i would die before hurting you'' ''if you're afraid of me you need to tell me [596372 sobbing emojis]''#like. sir. i've been justifiably afraid of you for years and ironically you freaking out about that is in fact making matters worse#he was LOSING IT i'm so serious ☠️#he's lucky he has a bleeding heart liberal psych degree daughter who believes in rehabilitation and is just injudiciously saintly#you bet your ass my brother isn't talking to our dad and sending him cat pictures and letting dad call him THREE TIMES in two hours#because my brother is far wiser than i. now i'm getting the increasingly unhinged ex treatment and idk how to hit the back button#man i was just trying to give my dad a reason (...*besides* the restraining order‚ ig?) to want to change. thank god his parents are there#it's getting weird folks!!#he's also somehow convinced he and my mother are going to stay married. ummmmmmmmmmmm#personal#marla's dad is a shithead.txt#abuse tw#abuse cw#tw abuse#cw abuse#abuse
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God they are so can I hug you after school tomorrow
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#muichiro tokito#rui ayaki#rui demon slayer#muichirou tokitou#ruimui#muirui#muichirou x rui#muichiro x rui#it’s their first kiss 🥺#Mui is in such a daze afterwards he stumbles home and walks into a wall and genya is like DUDE ARE YOU OKAY 💀#and mui is just staring at the wall and is like i. I think I just had my first kiss. and genya is like WHATWHATHWTAHWTAHSGATSH#bros big brother kicks in he’s like TELL ME EVERYTHG. HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD.#man this mui looks so cute this is probably the best mui I’ve ever drawn#god I love this whole page. it’s so cute#one thing I really like is how rui is pushing himself up off of his cane#it’s so fun drawing mui as thr tall person for once#mui t rex arms of course. obviously
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i was on the most random nostalgia kick and rewatched the prince of egypt yesterday and let me just say... that movie is truly one of the greatest animated films of all time.
#it's sooo good#i'm not religious but i enjoyed it from start to finish#i used to be christian (not my fault‚ raised that way) and even though i left the faith a long time ago biblical stories still fascinate me#like they're so interesting when you look at them as simply ancient mythology#and one thing i really appreciate about the prince of egypt is that they don't shove any religious message down your throat#the focus is on moses and ramses's relationship#and... wow. i did not remember it being that deep. i was NOT expecting to get so invested in their tragedy#i really liked the sort of grey area they both fell into and how they weren't just starkly good and evil#like ramses being the way he is because of what his father drilled into him‚ his fear of being the “weak link” and dooming his empire#and ofc moses unleashing the plagues and even allowing ramses's son to die in order to free his people#but i loved how they showed he was torn up about it because yeah! the egyptians were his people too!#and i loved how ramses didn't immediately hate him when the plagues began! he still loved him and saw him as a brother‚ however misguided!#but then moses proved he was willing to do anything for the hebrews' freedom. only then was their relationship beyond saving#this movie made my heart hurt a little. the deteriorating relationship of two brothers at the centre of it all... god#i have so many thoughts and feelings#it's so good. and ofc the animation is stunning. it's definitely a favourite of mine#some things from your childhood hit different when you revisit them as an adult because man i did not grasp all these layers as a kid#text#personal#misc
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What a wonderful night. What a fabulous sight. I hope you're enjoying your evening! I know I am because the tin can bros hit $220k for their world tour!!!!
Because today is such an iconic day, for my Spies Are Forever character series I drew the famous, the iconic, the man, the myth, and the legend, Vanger Borschtit <3 Day 13/55
#vanger my beloved#god hes such an icon#he brings glitz and glamour and oodles of swagger#flib diggity im barely breathing#we love the prince and I love him#theres a reason hes a famed television personality#Vanger Borschtit#spies are forever#tcb#tin can bros#tin can brothers#tinlightenment#saf#saf fanart#spies are forever fanart#joey richter the man that you are#easily top ten joey richter roles#type casting fears him#i love him augh#eddies daily thing
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oh my fucking godddddd i wish i could come out to my parents
#maddie.txt#alright rant once again folks. u ain't gotta read it lmfao i'm just whining </3#my dad loves talking about when i'll be married and get a husband and how i'm probably gonna find some random guy in college#i just absolutely hate the fact that i'm assumed to be allo but i kinda get it bc like 97% of the population is allo but still#idk. i just makes me really uncomfortable like bro i don't have a type whatsoever even when i do have crushes i never really think of#marriage and even though i'm technically only attracted to men i know full well that he's not gonna accept it#like my dad was just saying how once i get into college/my career i'm gonna find men that 'check all the boxes'#and btw i have told this man many times that i've never had an interest in having a husband or kids but not even 10 minutes ago he just#told me that even though i don't want to get married/have kids that if god 'presents you with a man' that i should take it and get married#whether i want to or not?? what the fuck???? and he said to my younger brother that he should do the same w/ his future wife/gf which is#absolutely insane. (also dad constantly refers to our future spouses as 'mates' which i find weird as fuck) and just that along with the#fact he outright told me sometime last year that (literally his words) women are 'products bought by men' that have#'time limits and expiration dates' and that's why 'men buy them (women) while they're 21‚ 22‚ 23' so. yeah .#that last bit was a side rant but god i just wish i could be confident he could accept i was demi-aroace it would just make things#so much fucking easier and less weird and uncomfortable but it's just sometimes i wonder where the blurred line is between where my#sexuality ends and where the effects of purity culture begin. and maybe throw in some childhood trauma and witnessing domestic violence as#well. i don't know. the only thing that helps is that i felt 'different' even before Shit Got Bad so that's nice.#in conclusion i wish father dearest know that i'm not allo in the slightest and there's a pretty decent chance i may not get married at all#and i'm very sure god's chill w that. bc like i'm still a normal person with hobbies and shit. i'm just some queer bitch who likes coding#and wildlife photography and has a few weird issues to sort out. i'm just an aroace with exceptions my guy. it's not too hard to understand#also sorry to my friends/mutuals who i haven't talked to much lately. i'm terrible at starting convos but i know that i love you like#the moon loves the earth okay? :)
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Idk if I'm gonna be able to articulate this on the fly like first thing in the morning, but. I think my ENTIRE body of work is This: Examining how family ties, bonds or lack thereof, the good and bad AND ugly, seep into every facet of who we are and how we come to interact with others. How sometimes, a family tie (or again, a Lack of one), will sometimes bleed into how you act and treat specific people. Will bleed into how you CONNECT with those people (or, will be the very reason you fail to do so).
HOWEVER. HOWEVER. THERE IS A DELICATE LINE. A BALANCING ACT. You CANNOT just simply attribute fanon flavored ideas of found family to such characters. That's too simple, and sometimes, is a complete disservice to the specific character you're working with. I am once again bringing up Chilchuck. YES, him being a dad Absolutely seeps into how he treats his party. But if you call him the party's dad, you're Insane. Do you know ANYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN???? He would prefer you didn't. But I digress. He strikes a fascinating balance, between having The Qualities and ESPECIALLY expressing his care for his party in a Really Specific divorced (separated.) father of three fashion, but that does Not make him a "dad friend". He's a professional. He's on business. He's going home at the end of the day, and at the end of this adventure he's thinking of setting up a shop. I wanted to keep this more vague and broad but like. The Chilchuck example REALLY DOES perfectly articulate What I'm trying to get at, here. He's the perfect encapsulation of How his family shapes him, how that bleeds into his relationships with others, vs Who he is as a person.
How we were raised, our family ties, whether you adhere to it or you've fallen FAR from the tree -- you still fell from that stupid fucking tree. It's in your blood. Literally. It gave you shape, whether you liked it or not. And sometimes some things just set off weird domino effects, that also affect us irrevocably forever.
WHICH IS. TO SAY. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. I'm always trying to figure that out. Found family is/can be real, you're not strictly bound by blood if you don't wanna be. BUT. The bullshit I'm constantly on, is trying to figure out how to balance all that without slotting everyone into reductive roles. I'm gay and I seek to destroy the nuclear family. Not attempt to recreate nuclear family 2.0. You CAN reconstruct What Family Is/Means from the ground up, but you have to accept that things are going to get Weird. Because you're Queer. You are fundamentally incompatible with the status quo and normalcy, the solution is NOT assimilation and palatability, the solution is to just. Get weirder. And be fluent in canon. Okay. I love you
#my notes#why am i becoming chilchuck's spokesperson. chilchuck defender.#well i can fucking tell you! it's because my dad is a divorced father of FIVE. with a drinking problem so bad#that if he didn't quit it would have killed him. and guess what! i can tell you a few things about alfonse.#the way alfonse strives to be just like gustav. idealizing him ect ect. and the way i just wanna grab him by the shoulders#and SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. snap him out of repeating the cycles by the power of friendship and gay sex#it SUCKS ASS TO SAY IT IN THE SAME BREATH. I HATE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU DO.#but if you (my own brother) are gonna end up Just Like Your Father could you at least go all the way. get divorced. for the love of god#get divorced. oh my god okay oversharing hour but the WAY. THE WAY. dad once told me#[my brother's now ex wife far as i know thank god it finally happened bu my god it took WAY too long]#but the way my dad told me once [my brother's ex wife] reminded him a bit of his second wife.#oh my god i didn't even tell you the famous dad lore. he's been divorced three times. he is THE EPIC DIVORCE MAN.#like when i look at chilchuck i go. i know this man personally. i live with him.#alfonse's case is. really. really way more complicated. like what i just said#truly is only the tip of the iceberg WHILE ALSO. SIMULTANEOUSLY. only being One Single Facet. to what he is to me.#BUT ALSO. CONSIDER. the Parallels i'm setting up between alfonse w gustav VS. moe and its mother.#okay i will not say more bc i'll talk forever. final piece i really want to throw out there is though#do you think anna's situation w her family business being The Basis of how she connects w others#do you think the WAY she and all the other annas were Raised is like. comparable to religion actually?#and ESP like. i don't know if there's any hard and fast rules or anything but she and all her sisters ARE.#PRESUMABLY. RAISED A V SPECIFIC WAY. to be highly competitive cut-throat merchants.#what does this mean for COMMANDER anna. one of (if not ONLY?) instance of an anna who fell outside of that.#also is it agab dependant? could you be amab and then later on become an anna if that's what#oh my god i'm thinking of that ratatouille post. accepting of your gender identity but NOT of your Life Choice to be a chef.#is it. exactly like that. and if you're afab and end up being trans do you just fall to the wayside?#like the point is NOT to inject transphobia in here. the point is to ask Okay HOW THE HELL DOES ANY OF THIS WORK???????#bc the Implications go INSANE. and also the point is to ask what is the funniest answer possible to any of the questions#I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN. AND BE INSANE.#like final clarification i only say religion bc that's what i'm familiar with (specifically christainity)#but maybe it's more apt -- a different flavor of traditional family culture that has strict gender roles.
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1 allowed post per day : oh my GOD im so tired why am i SOO tired when i have been awake later than this many many times
#chaos.txt#my brother is in a&e and they're just SITTING THERE and . and. he's fine .#god i feel so useless. try to be a doctor but everyone gets sick before you can fucking help!!!!#IN OTHER NEWS. watched nye by the national theatre :) free on yt What a show#GOD!!! what a show#i didn't even know it was about the nhs i was just gonna watch it because 1. free play 2. michael sheen and 3. FREE PLAY!!#but it was so good i was weepy in the first 2 minutes i won't lie. and then i did cry again 30 minutes in#RLY GOOD ACTING!!! + MY HEART AND SOUL!!!!! = crying!!!!!#idk. idk. healthcare has my heart i think. i think maybe it's an autism attachment thing#but like. man. i love that im doing this. i have SO much love for the principles of my future workplace#like i KNOW its shit. i know. it's never gonna be perfect. never ever. there'll never be enough beds#but every person is entitled to one. my mum got an mri and blood transfusion 2 years ago#my brother needs a cyst draining now. and we have felt nothing. not a pinch#i dunno!!! im just. so fucking grateful. please watch nye if you can. it's only up till 11/11. and it's really good#and it means a lot to me
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anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno
#they're playing ahead by a century on the radio and it's great#i love the colour of that one. it's pretty much just a night sky. the instrumentals are a dark blue and the white stars#and his voice is a lovely green that makes me think of the northern lights#i know i talk shit but i don't think i could leave canada for good#might head further north eventually but i'll stay in the country#dunno i got some synesthesia that only shows up sometimes or some shit idfk man#though rn i am bitching about none of them understanding the situation from our (mine and my brothers) side#like yeah i know you guys have jobs.#are you trying to search for one for yourself?#while helping your parents business because if that goes under we're ROYALLY fucked?#while worrying about a buddy of yours genuinely going missing?#i'll b real he was a huge help by the end of that job once everyone else who liked me left#anyways#no? none of those apply? then shut the fuck up about us getting the dates wrong. we gave#god fucking dammit im trying to type and hit the wrong button im going to fucking make a bed with the fishes#yes we got the dates mixed up. cope. bitch. we have actual real life problems to deal with.#sorry our shit got in the way of your plans. i guess. still don't see why i had to apologise but maybe im just a genuinely shitty person#one self centered motherfucker#anyways thats my word vomit for the night. might delete l8r. dunno
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yay i love being financially attached to a baffoon who keeps forgetting to pay for the class he said he would pay for, and putting a hold on my account so that i cant register for classes and now all the classes i need are full!! so awesome!! meanwhile my younger brother is not having this problem.
#not art#augusts life#and theyre all like ohh but u need therapy#august when are you going to meet with a therapistsss#with who's money dude#im busy worrying about my education and hrt and groceries#that and im sick rn and i cant work tomorrow#brother i swear to god#the Volume of reminders i have send this man#and every time hes like ill take care of it ill take care kf it#can u please do the thing you told me you would do#anyway#personal#will delete later#just whining for a moment here#everything is stressing me out
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my brother (still the incomparable joel vandelay) is a cartoonist and previously kept up webcomics for some time but as far as I knew the past few years he hasn't really been posting anything, but the reason he brought his computer over last night was so that he could work on a comic and I'm so excited!!! I have, barely seen any of it, bc like me my brother is very, secretive over Unfinished Art (and even Finished Art), but I have seen A Few Lines Be Created which is so thrilling bc he'd rarely let me watch him draw before and I love watching people draw I love seeing a thing take shape I love seeing people I love create things
#my brother yesterday: it is far from finished.#me: ah. i know the feeling.#him this morning: almost done.#me: !!!!!!!!!!#(he said he was going to draw through the night. i guess he did........i dont know if he is working on a deadline or a personal deadline)#his tumblr name is joel bc he is a fan of mst3k.#my sister got referred to by her real name a lot here previously but she does have a tumblr name now -- daria (bc SHE was a daria fan)#my brother: the names have been changed to protect the innocent sort of thing#me: yes!! also our last name is. vandelay.#my brother: /a pause. and then much laughter#my brother: it could be worse??#me: I WAS SIXTEEN#lulu of course as we all know stems from no deep abiding love of code geass but was a code geass-related nickname at the time.#man if i had picked a name based on a fav media at the time instead.............god what was i doing at 16#probably wouldve defaulted back to hinata or used my naruto oc name (which also changed over time but by 2011 had solidified)
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🌚Dream Journal🌝
I just woke up from a dream of my upcoming family Thanksgiving where my most despised uncle got the cops called on him for slapping me.
I laughingly rehashed the story for the police officer.
My uncle had insulted me by saying I was a "piece of shit waste of space just like my mother".
And so I chuckled and said, "hmm, yes, my mother and I do have a thing or two in common. Most notably that we independently came to the same conclusion- you are a selfish, childish, waste of a man, with a suspiciously unnatural hairline."
And that is when you could hear a pin drop, and he turned purple with rage, and slapped the shit out of me.
Then I called the police, and my family started to try and convince me not to call them, I said, "I'm not going to be abused at the hands of my own family and be silenced, you are all witnesses, if you do not speak up and tell the truth when the time comes, I will know who my abusers are, and who stands by and allows it."
Then my Uncle tries to verbally abuse me some more and tells me he demands respect and will not be disrespected by a child and no one will stand up for me because I brought it on myself.
And so I tell him, "I am a grown woman now, you will demand nothing of me, least of all respect. I responded to verbal abuse with truth, and you responded with physical abuse. You don't deserve respect, but the consequences you are about to receive are well deserved and of your own making."
Woke up very satisfied after seeing that asshole cuffed and spitting mad in the back of a police car.
#dream journal#family drama#trauma dump#my dads brother is that bad#fuck him#i hope he pulls some shit so i can actually whip this one out the sleeve#lol#comedy#tea#get it while it’s hot#its piping hot today boys#thanksgiving#family#drama#insults#i love a good comeback#hate this man#he looked down on my mom for wanting a man to take care of her instead of being independent#hypocrite#this man has mooched off of every girlfriend hes ever had plus his sister and mom and never supported himself independently#while acting like he's God's gift to women#and telling my mother she should stay home and look after the kids while him and my dad ran off to party#she said fuck them kids wheres the party#so they all sucked in the end#personal#op#is it me#tis me#tism
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