#but mostly for my other mutuals because they have different biases/bias lines from me

[cosmicdreamgrl]

finally got a comment about why i primarily gif only jungkook and i'm like, did it escape your notice that he's my bias or...

[junseotual]

i'm gonna b soooo crazy bc i want to know a lot jdksngjhs 1, 2, 18, 23, 30 (sorry <3), and 40 for donghan reestablish urself as a the donghantual 🎤

would u look at that i thought abt this for literal days n my answers havent gotten any better from day 1 <3 anyways it's about time i finally answer this uve waited long enough im sowwy erieri i lov u thank u for asking thank u for waiting

1. who do you most want to take care of?

honestly u know what . im pretty certain im just fundamentally incapable of taking care of people . but that aside . like . like definitely most of husband n bf/gf lines which once again is like . just most ppl in general . but like in a mutual love n care kinda way . BUT like that aside bc that feels like . an obvious answer,, jiheon my daughter? shes my daughter i better take care of her u know...

nd admittedly not answering the question here as these r suppsoed to be bias asks nd they arent my biases but i just want to mention that . as u know i think we as a society should baby youngtae more. he deserves to be cared for in a way more babying way than he currently is and im about to make it MY job. + minhee bc hes my younger brother-shaped bestie like hes my younger brother like hes not but he is but hes not but he is i havent like fully decided whether he is or not but like he is .

2. who do you most want to take care of you?

ok so this is like . like not to b me but like . Like literally anyone fr . like 85% of my bias list like . but the first thoughts whenever i tried to consider this were swoo / sik !! also they'd def do it in a v different way but also lino / chanhee

18. any groups where you have a hard time picking a bias at all?

hmmm i usually spot someone im interested in p quickly when i check out a group even if that person doesn't end up sticking? i maybe tend to like . branch out a lot more as time goes by so it's more of like . it's not that i'm struggling to pick a bias im just like actually slowly falling for everyone . . . but i usually am still mostly attached to like my earlier picks?? ik i switched between biases a lot in got7 & mx.... and i think i perhaps struggle more w ggs? but that's prob bc 1) i watch less content for them since 2) i think i may be trying to get less attached to them bc they like....idk if they actually statistically do but it feels like they tend to disappear and/or disband more often like ..? or maybe its post-pristin trauma

OH TBZ & SF9 (& up10tion to an extent) ... at this point i have literally biased almost all of them at some point ... sf9 feels like i settled more than tbz my tbz ranking will always be a mess idk whats going on w that like ever . ox are interesting because i HAVE a set in stone . set of biases that i feel V strongly about but like i do . like like a lot of the other members too sdbk

23. any particular clips or pics that you find comforting of a bias?

the entirety of hwan's ig live from his birthday/the evening before his birthday..................................................................... the entirety of hyuk's guitar vlive w jeonghoon (200817) (nd all of hyuk's guitar vlives ive seen so far rlly) . idk if i would call jeonghoon's dance class vlives comforting but like maybe i would idk ... the replay one in particular (200923)!! that one vity dorm vlive (wonjin & taeyoung ft allen n mini?) . all of the vlives ive seen have been comforting to me i think at least to a degree ?? 2min dekira all of it for real . oui go up s2 in particular i think.. any clips or pics of dal

bouncy kangsung <3 no no seungmin <3 i get all my life energy from this <3 this itzy clip is rlly rlly comforting <3 190817 hwan the story fancam <3 ox play dumb (my cut specifically) <3

30. are there any songs that make you think of them?

just ask for my wanji playlist directly if u want it so bad </3

as u . probably know i like . am obsessed n thus i could probably find a few songs for any of my biases (nd even not biases.) cover-wise so u know what im gonna put that aside we will not b mentioning any of that. we will put away songs that i associate w them bc they are like Actually connected to them in any way. just so that u dont have to read this for the next 50 hours .

i made a mistake and now i associate hwan w cignature's boyfriend & 1d kiss you (nd a few more but im not about to make a fool of myself nope u domt need to know just how bad it is) . nd there's nothing i can do about that . i just have to live like this now . jeonghoon w hey violet hoodie & waterparks dream boy & svt kidult & chungha cherry kisses . jay w sabrina carpenter's diamonds are forever & hey violet queen of the night & ed sheeran take me back to london . beomgyu w avril lavigne's sk8ter boy & allstar weekend hey princess & the summer set lightning in a bottle . yeonjun w loote are you sure? & sasha alex sloan matter to you & nightly twenty something

n junseo once again Not a bias but . yena's pretty boys & purkiss hate me hurt me love me

40. express how much they mean to you no limit ramble as much as you want (donghan edition i know what u tried to do there and i appreciate it an insane amount but im like idk if i have anything to say actually)

i feel like my favourite clip that i think about every single day of my life says it all actually . i don't like . Actually have a lot to say i just love men who are highkey annoying and they Know it his huge puppy energy (puppy that is huge energy) (also he's not a puppy he's just a big dog who doesn't realize he's not a puppy anymore) is everything to me . i love annoying men . please be mine . he also has this laugh that's like RLLY rlly nice to listen to (n he looks so cute when he laughs) . his blinking . habit?? is also endearing !! also he sang late night call which like deserves to be mentioned on its own. it's actually like kinda funny to me that i AM attached to him as much as i am because like i don't think i even remembered his name when he was in jbj? (didnt pay any attention to him anyway for sure) and i actually- and this is about to be shocking and it will feel like a betrayal etc and i am v ashamed of myself . but i didn't like sunset when it first came out . and it didnt help that i didnt like good night kiss either (this one didnt change much im still not a Huge fan . i do see it differently now after all this time tho like i do like her to an extent . shes his worst tt tho) . but focus changed my life (real) and at some point i just magically became obsessed w sunset n im pretty sure that was a WHILE before we got news of oui debuting a group so i was just sitting in my room being like when is this man coming back im obsessed w him now he cannot just fully disappear (n shes waiting for a solo cb to this day oui ent im on my knees) . he's not my fave performer prob not even in wei but like you can See how much he cares nd that's like so .......... sooooo !!! u know? also once again he just has an aura u know . as a performer . idk eri i cant rant about most ppl i like when im asked to im sorry i know u tried to help me out there but

[yeoldontknow]

Hiiii! I read on here that you’ve been super busy so I hope you’re doing well

hi sweet anon!! im so so sorry for the delay on this. i took a big step back on tumblr during the month of march because i had so much happening. it was difficult and so im sorry im behind on this cute ask. YES I ULT CHAN WITH THE FIRE OF 1000000000 UNIVERSES. hes literally my heart and soul. AND YES SWEET HOSEOK IS MY SUN AND STARS OF THAT UNIVERSE. im so excited to match my mutuals. i love these theyre so much fun. i got lots of rest, thank you so much bean

yoongi + @daegusoftboys: ive said it before and i will say it again: joongi is my otp. i know she has other biases in other groups but like...theyre passing fancies. joongi is the moon that hangs in the night sky. they are such a strong yet soft power couple. like the coolest couple in the room. delicate and pure and sweet, while also so deeply intense in the way they communicate and understand each other. theres a lot of earth and air energy in their partnership, and i just get so delighted knowing they would be each others rock. together there is literally nothing they cant do. SO with that said, joongi are going out on their 5000000000000th date and i guess are engaged at this point? they are going to a dog park, where they are going to sit and play with doggos and hug them and then have a picnic on the water with a lot of cheese and wine and laughter and i and all our friends will sit 100 yards back crying about how much we love them

taehyung + @from-dae-do-dae: i have also said this before and i will say it again: fei and tae are going on their third date to an art museum. its starting in the morning and its going late into the night. i imagine them at the met in new york, looking at classical art and moving between movements until they get to american mid century pastorals. this is where they discuss light and the movement of light in the styles of paintings. then they move to the photography hall where they spend FAR too long, discussing filtering, development techniques and mixed media. then they go to the hall of instruments where they both shed a few tears, and fei goes on to discuss how caravaggio, as amazing as he was, was mostly a painter of music and tae swoons so hard he almost goes blind. at 5 the museum is about to close so and they realize they havent eaten, so they go to dinner at a nice restaurant to have tapas and seafood fare with wine. they talk about the art they saw, and then move on to discuss deep thoughts, hopes and dreams. they expose each other raw but in a gentle fashion, the kind where you ask a series of questions no one can follow until they arent even sure why theyre discussing the reasons its difficult for them to accept and receive love, but there they are - two bottles of wine in and still they dont want to stop. so they walk through central park along the water and for some reason they dont need to talk anymore they just want to be together. /this got out of control/

jimin + @yeol-stole-my-soul: these beans are going to disney world and universal. fight me about it. jimin needs to loosen up and have fun and maria sleeps even less than i do, and needs to be somewhere she can bang pots and pans as loudly as she wants and no one will mind. i fantasize about them running around, going on all the rides, eating everything, screaming at everything, and then staying out until the park closes. the park empties early of kids around 10 so thats two hours of no lines and running around the park doing everything twice. fun. pure fun. FUN AND - romantic. dont think so? jimins face lighting up at the fireworks over the castle - thats fucking magical. marias face when she realizes not only is the food in epcot delicious, but it tastes just like how her mother makes it. trust me. thats magic, and thats real shit. no one is ever as vulnerable as when theyre delighted because happiness is difficult to hold and this is something they get to hold together. when joy and nostalgia mix, that is when you really learn a person. its easy to see them scared and angry - see a person caught pure delight and that is when you see their soul. 

jungkook + @queenoftheimpala: these shy beans are taking a painting with wine class. sure, kook probably wont drink and if he does hell be super slow about it. but ali, my delightful beautiful best friend, will take to the bottle like shes drinking gold and will finally let herself open up. when she lets herself go, hes done for. truly, you cant see ali being herself and NOT fall in love. his ass will swoon so hard hell fall through the floor, covered in paint. together, theyll make art. see why they pick the shapes and colours they choose, learn why they make lines different from one another. ‘my hand is shaky,’ hell say without any confidence, even though his lines are perfect. ‘ive always been terrible at art,’ ali will laugh, sheepish, even though she gets it right without trying. they dont really need to say anything to one another, they just need to exist in one anothers orbit and they will realize 1. they are so incredibly similar 2. they are both the most adorable messes and 3. they were made for one another. again, ill be standing in the back crying saying ‘this is my favourite movie.’

namjoon + @joonbird: these brilliant beans are going to a pottery class. theyre going to make something with their hands and then they are going to dinner with wine and cheese and theyre going to have conversations that range from personal history to metaphysics to philosophy to the weirdest shit theyve seen while traveling. joon will be amazed by her intellect and her wit, amy will be impressed he manages to make a mug that looks more like a bird house. she doesnt ask questions, just admires his artistic intent. at dinner the conversation carries over, though this time theyre mostly silent - making yummy noises as they eat their food and smiling across the table. this is when they start talking about places theyve been, things theyve seen, food theyve tried - experiences - delighted that now they get to experience each other.

jin+ @2seokforyook: this other power couple are going to take an improv theatre class. kim is shy and sometimes so is jin, but this is where he shines. hes delighted to show off and engage, to open himself a little and, by proxy, watch kim open up by impressing her and making her laugh. kim will be tentative at first, but the comfort and warmth he radiates on stage will be infectious and soon, with a few laughs and awkward pauses, she will find her flow, playing games and enjoying being free of any real focused thought for at least an hour. for a while, its light hearted, laughing so hard they cry a little, but then, at the end, its time to get vulnerable. its seemingly impossible, but again, theyre together, warm and in a bubble of comfort created simply because theyre together and theyre learning to have fun without any restrictions. and so they talk - really, truly talk - without words or a script about everything and nothing. and when its over, when they finally get to leave, they realize that they werent acting. not even for a second. 

THANKS ANON!!! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!!

[self-reflective-human]

Day 29: irrational biases to overcome

So I was at work today and it reminded me of the irrational biases against some people I hold based upon a stereotypical assumption of them. I know this is something I've somewhat discussed before but I want to consider my personal biases.

So most people have some sort of vague prejudice to a minority or unprivileged group based upon stereotypical assumptions. I however tend to be a little different. I have prejudices to conservative people, Bogan Australians and people who have certain jobs like CEOs of large companies.

So the first one is based upon my political views. I'm very unconservative, while I still hold some attachment to the religion I was raised with I don't see much value in 'religious values' besides what seems universal like mutual respect and not committing crimes like murder and theft. So if someone is conservative I assume they are stubborn, ignorant and unempathetic. While I'm sure I could find resources to confirm these I believe my support for such would be a degree of confirmation bias. So I feel that looking critically there is something that drives conservative people, they are more than their regressive values or ideas. I have even wrote essays and done research for uni on conservatives because as a political identity it intrigues me. It is largely about a rejection of change which seems quite odd to me. Saying that I also recognise I am very open to change and new ideas but will have a bias in this towards ideas of certain kind.

Enough of that onto my next bias. So I've worked in quite multicultural places around Melbourne, where in the space of one day there may be people who pass me speaking Russian, Mandarin, Cantonese, Vietnamese, Italian, Greek, Tamil, Tagalog, Arabic and several other languages (of which my understanding of is very very minimal). However in such communities the people who I seem to be a bit wary of is white working class Aussies. I live in Australia so they make or the majority quite clearly but I used the term 'bogan' before to express a certain loud, crass, obnoxious, entitled type of white working class Australian. Like they have a thick accent and walk around with the feeling they own the place and everyone should love them. This prejudice is partially from my previous job where I would tell people which replacement bus to catch due to the trains being down for works on the line. The customers who made me uncomfortable where mostly male and always white Australian. Now this is purely anecdotal and I don't feel this is what all white working class Australians are like. Like frankly besides these few all other white working class Australians were perfectly fine. Possibly there is an entitled personality that seems to manifest itself in some people who's parents moved here many years ago who feel this country owes them respect for being born. But I also think these assertions of mine are also heavily affected by my disregard of nationalism and my distaste for it. So yeah.

My final prejudice is towards people with powerful positions that accrue a lot of wealth. It's hard to say what exactly but I know when I hear it. Like I have a suspicion of people with significant economic power. Like I'm not so concerned about politicians and public servants as they are accountable to the people and do not work for profit. But when it comes to people in large powerful companies it is hard to not feel like they may try to use their power in ways that can be quite awful. Whether that is to use their position to sexually harass, assualt or rape people or whether that is to buy off politicians for greater corporate influence. With this one I guess I'm a bit paranoid, while I certainly believe a few people will do this it is hard to believe that everyone in an executive position feels this way. But in many ways it isn't, when they need to take a lot of profit and don't care how then they see power as a tool for whatever they need. Anyway there are lots of good people in bad companies.

So I hope you liked this diary entry, it's a little more self-reflective than usual. However I think I mulled over my prejudices and I think there may be some good in that.