#but most of my fics now are getting longer so
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hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)
i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now
although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.
i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense
as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.
anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.
sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.
anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!
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[3.6k] sometimes home is a place. sometimes it's a person. sometimes it's a bench that holds more memories than mat can fully handle, memories that are slipping through his fingers.
based on 'coney island' by taylor swift for the eras tour hockey fic challenge created by @comphy-and-cozy and @wyattjohnston!!
.
Present – November 2024
Never in his life had Mat Barzal felt as pathetic as he did sitting on that bench in Coney Island.
It was cold as fuck, for one, which should have been expected on a day in late November in New York. The temperature was likely below freezing, the chill was starting to seep into his bones, and the jacket he had haphazardly thrown on was doing little to battle the weather.
Yet, it was barely a blip on his radar as the last few weeks properly washed over him.
Despite the holiday season, there were (thankfully) not many people around to see Mat in all his pathetic and embarrassing glory. Most people were probably sane inside their warm homes, enjoying dinner with the people they cherish the most. It felt stupid to be envious of a city full of people but that is exactly what he was.
Because as Mat sat on that bench, staring out at the near empty beach, he felt like he was choking.
On his feelings. On his memories. On his bitter resentment that, once upon a time, he was like those people.
That Mat used to have a warm home where he ate dinner with someone he fucking loved and cherished more than anyone or anything else in the world, but now he had lost that person.
That he didn’t know where his person was or what they were doing, but they were doing much better than him as he sat on the same fucking bench where he first met them.
Where he first met you.
…
August 2021
“You insist on this every year!”
“Because it’s fun every year!”
“And yet you still get pissy when you get beaten by a carnival game.”
Mat glared at him from over his shoulder, not faltering in his steps as he shot his cackling friend a look. “It doesn’t beat me—”
Beau snorted, giving the boy a fond shove as he pushed his way through the crowd to catch up until they were shoulder-to-shoulder again. “Dude, it’s a stupid game that you try every single time. And you fail every time.”
“It’s rigged,” Mat huffed.
“Yeah, that’s the whole fucking point,” Beau deadpanned. “They are all rigged.”
“But I’ve beaten them all,” Mat whined, sounding young and bratty. “The ring toss is rigged more. It’s made to torture one’s mind—”
“Your mind.”
“—until they are driven insane and haunted by those stupid rings,” he continued to grumble, muttering an apology after he almost walked straight into a lady pushing a stroller.
“All for an arcade ring,” Beau mused, shaking his head. “Dude, you need to let it go.”
Mat turned to glare at the boy. “No. I have won every single one of these stupid games. I am gonna win this one too.”
Beau opened his mouth. “Mat, dude—”
“And I am gonna get that stupid ring and I will wear it every single day of my—”
The noise that left his mouth cut him short, something between a scream and squeak of surprise as he found his body hitting someone else instead of the clear path down the pier like he had assumed. He managed to stay on his feet, considering he was a six foot hockey player whose job revolved around being slammed into by other six foot hockey players.
His victim? Not so much.
“Fuck.”
It came out like a wheezed, as though the person was winded. Mat quickly spun around, the apologies already leaving his lips as he offered his hand out before he even took a look at the person he accidentally knocked over. And when he did, the apologies died on his tongue as he stared at you, his expression stuck between awe and something else that Beau would spend the better part of the next few years teasing him for.
“Do you even watch where you are going?”
“Yeah,” Mat replied dumbly, staring at you like he was lost in a daze.
“Clearly not,” you murmured but still took his hand, giving him an odd look when it took longer than a few seconds before he realised and helped you up.
“I’m Mat,” he blurted out before he even let go of your hand. “And I’m sorry.”
Your lips twitched. “I accept your apology, Mat.”
“And your name?” He asked, not even trying to be subtle about it (if Beau’s snort was anything to go by).
Mat feld winded himself when you smiled as you told him your name.
…
February 2022
“So, let me get this straight.”
“I am tired of repeating myself.”
“You’re taking her out on Valentine’s Day—”
“Not for Valentine’s Day!”
“Yeah, sorry, my bad. You are taking your friend who you are desperately in love with out on Valentine's Day. How silly of me to take that the wrong way.”
Mat rolled his eyes, even if Beau couldn’t currently see him. He tucked his free hand into his jacket pocket, the other one curled around his phone as his eyes continued to wander over the pink and red decorations dotted all over the place. It made his nose scrunch up.
“It was the only day we both had free,” Mat insisted, his cheeks tinting pink for a whole different reason other than the cold, nipping weather of winter in New York.
“No denial about the ‘in love’ part.”
“Shut up,” he gritted through clenched teeth, as if anyone else could hear Beau except him.
“It’s just a little pathetic—”
“I didn’t ask,” Mat deadpanned, trying to ignore how hot his face now felt. “I don’t even know why I called you.”
“Because you needed a pep talk to finally make a move.”
“I’m hanging up now,” Mat grumbled, ignoring whatever protests he received on the other side as he quickly pressed the red button before shoving his phone into his pocket with a huff. He was so lost in muttering to himself under his breath that he hadn’t noticed you approaching.
“Woah,” you laughed, hands up in mock defence at the way he jumped out of his skin. “You good?”
“Yeah, I just—” He waved it off, an easy and genuine smile on his lips as he took in the way you were bundled up, an Islanders scarf around your neck. “Ready to have your ass kicked?”
Your lips twitched. “Ready to cry over the ring toss again?”
He did not, in fact, cry over the ring toss but he was undoubtedly grumpy by the time the two of you settled down on one of the benches looking out towards the beach, huffing as he took an aggressive bite from the pretzel that definitely didn’t fit his diet plan.
“C’mon,” you laughed, nudging your shoulder against his. “It’s just a game.”
“It’s a stupid game,” Mat retorted.
“Beau was right, you take it way too seriously,” you commented, playful and lighthearted with a gleam in your eyes. Like you were so unaware that the comfort you shared with his friends made his chest tighten in the best way possible.
“You have a little—” He cut himself off, gesturing to the side of your lip.
Your brows furrowed, your thumb attempting to swipe the brown sugar away just to miss completely. “Did I get it?”
“No, I—here, let me,” Mat murmured, reaching over to gently swipe the brown sugar away. But his thumb lingered, his eyes locked on your lips before glancing up at you. He waited for you to pull away but you just stared back.
For a moment, Mat wondered if you were going to suddenly pull away and pretend the small moment never happened.
For a moment, Mat’s stomach dropped at the thought this would be as far as he got with you.
And then you were leaning forward, your lips pressed against his and the pretzels long forgotten.
His body reacted faster than his brain did, kissing you back as the sweet taste of cinnamon and sugar overwhelmed him. The pretzel was left on the bench between you, his hands cupping your face as he sunk into the kiss, as he sunk into your embrace.
And only when you pulled back to smile at him did his brain seem to realise what had just happened.
And only then did he grin right back at you.
…
May 2022
“God, hockey is brutal.”
Mat paused, raising his brows. “Just realised that?”
“Sorry, I know you didn’t want to talk about hockey after—” You cut yourself off, wincing a little as you stood in his kitchen, just dressed in one of his shirts (ironically, an Islanders one with the number thirteen above your heart) with a mug of coffee in hand. “Ignore me. Watch the eggs don’t burn.”
Mat snorted. “What has made you realise hockey is so brutal?”
“Just kinda thinking about it,” you shrugged, your gaze on the rim of your mug rather than his face. It made him frown a little. “Like, I know it’s a part of the sport but, fuck, all it takes is one bad hit and—”
“Woah, hey,” Mat’s frown deepened as he reached for you, the stove turned off, the eggs forgotten and his hand reaching to place the coffee mug on the counter. He took your face in his hands, his thumbs smoothing over the apples of your cheeks.
“Sorry,” you laughed, but it sounded a bit wet and weak to his ears. He tilted your head up, his lips pressed together when he noticed how glossy your eyes were. “I guess I just never realised how brutal the sport was until I met you. And you guys play through so many injuries and I know your season is over now but the idea of you pushing yourself even more is just—”
“Come back home with me.”
You blinked. “What?”
“Come back home with me for the summer,” Mat repeated, a soft smile on his lips.
You blinked again, your confusion only growing. “Did you not just hear me—”
“I did,” Mat interrupted, nodding his head with the look of adoration still written plainly across his face. “And all I could think was, ‘wow, how lucky am I to have this amazing girl care about me so much’ and I just…I am lucky. So lucky. And I wanna show other people how lucky I am. I want to show my family how lucky I am.”
Your face softened. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Mat murmured. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whispered before leaning in, a soft and lingering kiss left on his lips before you pulled back. “And I’m lucky you care about me too.”
“I’m really glad I bumped into you that day in Coney Island,” Mat confessed, something warm and comforting bubbling in his stomach at the sight of your smile.
“Yeah, me too,” you hummed, a glint of mischief in your eyes. “And I love you even if you can’t win the ring toss—”
Mat groaned, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. “Don’t ruin the moment.”
…
March 2023
“You don’t have to hide it from me.”
Mat blinked, his thoughts torn away from him as he turned to find you settling down onto the bench next to him, two pretzels in your hand. He murmured a small ‘thanks’ as he took one of the pretzels from you, staring at the sugary cinnamon sticks with little appetite.
“Hide what?” Mat asked.
“Mat,” you said his name in a way that made his chest tighten, so soft and gentle, like he was some scared animal you were slowly approaching. “Baby, I know you miss him. You don’t have to pretend.”
His eyes dropped back to the pretzel in his hands.
Because it was true. He did miss Beau. He missed Beau more than he cared to admit. And it was stupid because he knew this was how hockey worked, he had friends traded and sent away multiple times before. It was a part of the sport.
But he just didn’t think it would ever hurt this bad, even weeks after the trade had happened. His focus should have been the season and the playoffs approaching. He should have been focused on the team.
But every time he went on the ice, he couldn’t help but feel like a part of him was missing when he lifted his head and didn’t see Beau there, ready to accept his pass.
“There was this small part of me that just thought—” Mat paused, letting out a heavy sigh. “That we would be on the same team forever, you know? That it would always be me and him. That we would win the Cup together and…yeah.”
“I know,” you whispered, soft and soothing as you placed your head on his shoulder and let him lean his head against yours. “You never know. You two will find your way back to each other.”
His lips twitched into a sad smile. “Maybe.”
“You were always meant to find each other in this life,” you told him, sounding so sincere and genuine over the distant cheers and screams and buzzing noise of the amusement park behind you. “Just because you don’t live minutes away anymore, doesn’t mean that ends. He is always gonna be there for you, just like I am.”
Mat pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you.”
“Always, Mat. Always.”
…
July 2023
“Home, sweet home!”
Mat winced a little as his voice echoed through the empty apartment, the walls bare and the place a little dusty. But it was yours and it made it perfect, it made the keys in his hand feel heavier and more special than his last set.
“Fuck, we have so much to unpack,” you commented but you sounded happy. You both did, despite the state of exhaustion the last few days left you, attempting to pack up both of your apartments and moving into your new shared place.
“That is a later problem,” Mat waved you off, reaching towards you so he could wind his arms around your waist and pull you closer. “We have a mattress and takeout menus, what else do we need?”
“Preferably some sheets,” you teased, not even attempting to pull yourself out of his hold. You were content exactly where you were. “I’m, like, ninety percent sure you put them in the wrong box.”
“Blame the pretty one,” Mat huffed, cackling when you playfully pinched his hip. “Kidding, baby, you’re obviously the pretty one in the relationship.”
“We can both be pretty,” you rolled your eyes before laying your head on his chest, smiling when you felt him lean his chin on top. “Can’t wait to make this place ours.”
“It’s gonna be so pretty so it can match us,” Mat murmured, grinning when you laughed in response.
“It looks so plain right now, it’s freaky,” you commented, half-hearted with no real heaviness to your words. It would take a few days for you both to make it feel homely and you were looking forward to it.
But Mat was already untangling himself from your hold, grinning as he began tugging you towards the kitchen. “We can put our first proper decoration up!”
Your brows furrowed together in confusion. “What? But the boxes are—”
You cut yourself off as you watched Mat reach into the pocket of his sweatpants, grinning widely as he pulled out a small magenet and slapped it on the middle of the very bland fridge. He looked at the magnet with great pride before turning to you, his smile only growing.
You let out a laugh at the sight of the Coney Island magnet on the fridge. “Perfect.”
“Our first home,” Mat grinned, pulling you back in so he could smack a kiss on your lips. “The first of many.”
“I’m not moving for at least another few years,” you joked, smiling against his lips. “This whole thing was exhausting.”
“As long as it’s with you, I don’t really care.”
…
January 2024
“I need your help.”
“Oh god, what have you done?”
Mat frowned at his phone for a moment, forgetting about the bundling nerves that had left him on edge for the last week. He was sure you were starting to pick up on it, even if you hadn’t mentioned as much—thankfully. But after a week of waiting, he finally had the perfect opportunity to call his sister whilst you were out of the house.
“I have done nothing. Yet.”
His sister sighed. “Mathew—”
“No full names needed,” he murmured, his cheeks burning as he leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling with determination that was quickly dwindling the longer the call went on. “I just…I need your help.”
“With?”
“A ring.”
His frown deepened when Liana laughed. “If this is about that arcade game Beau told me about—”
“What? No,” he sighed, his blush only deepening. “I need help picking a ring. A real ring. An engagement ring.”
His sister was silent for a few moments before she spoke. “Holy shit. You’re really gonna do it?”
Mat couldn’t even bite back his smile. “I want to. This summer, maybe. But I need a ring and I was thinking you could help while we’re up for All Stars and—”
“Sold. Done. I’m not letting you pick an ugly ring for my future sister-in-law.”
“She might still say no,” Mat reminded her, even if his stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought.
“Of course she won’t,” Liana retorted, sounding so confident that Mat almost wanted to believe her wholeheartedly. “Especially if you let me help pick a ring.”
Mat pressed his lips together. “I really want to find the perfect ring.”
“We will. She is going to love it, Mat. She is going to say yes.”
“Good,” he murmured, grinning. “Because she’s it for me. She’s the only person I wanna give a ring to.”
“You’re such a sap.”
“Shut up.”
…
October 2024
He couldn’t even remember what started the argument.
If he was being honest, the tension had been brewing for a while. It had been a combination of things and none of them had made the atmosphere around the apartment much better. Small, silly things that shouldn’t have been that bad but felt like the end of the world as they were thrown at you both, one after the other.
Mat knew it was bad.
He just didn’t think it was this bad.
It felt like the two of you had been at it for hours, and maybe you had. He couldn’t tell anymore, he didn’t know if it had been minutes or hours the two of you had stood on opposite sides of the living room, yelling and screaming and crying. It all felt too much, like it was getting bigger and bigger, just waiting to pop.
And then it fucking did.
“I-I can’t do this anymore.”
And Mat felt like a deflating balloon, the air escaping his lungs as he found himself staring at you, his mouth unable to voice any of the thoughts he wanted to say.
“Maybe,” you let out a bitter laugh, pained and hurt and weak. “Maybe we just aren’t forever, Mat. Maybe you’re not ready to let anything but hockey be your forever.”
And you were wrong.
Deep down, Mat knew you were wrong and his brain was screaming for him to tell you just how wrong you were. Because the fight had escalated and spun out of control and he should have grabbed the wheel with both hands to stabilise you both.
But he was hurt and he was petty and he felt his mouth saying the exact opposite of how he felt.
“Maybe you’re right.”
The way your whole body deflated and your face fell would haunt his nightmares for nights to come, along with the sound of the apartment door slamming shut as you left and never looked back.
…
Present – November 2024
Once upon a time, the biggest challenge Coney Island provided him was the damn ring toss game. It had been like that for years.
But now, he sat on the bench, the plastic ring between his fingers feeling as heavy as the other ring in his pocket. He didn’t feel victorious, he didn’t feel anything but emptiness. Because neither ring meant anything when he was here alone, when he had failed to give you both.
The ring toss was barely a challenge compared to returning to this damn bench almost every day since he had pulled from the lineup with an injury that just felt like a mockery on top of everything else.
But he did it. He came back every single day because it hurt and he deserved it. He deserved to sit there and think about just what he lost. Because he had no idea where you were, he hadn’t heard a single word from you—not even Beau would tell him if he had heard from you.
Mat had let pride and something else just as stupid get in the way of his forever.
The least he could do was bear the cold, winter weather on that stupid bench until his fingers were too damn numb to hold the stupid arcade ring.
The least he could do was spend the rest of his days wondering if there was a universe where things were different, where he still had you, where he was able to see you one more time.
The least he could do was let his own thoughts about losing you forever haunt him.
The least he could do was hope the universe would give him one more fucking chance to fix everything with you, to at least give you the stupid arcade ring he once promised he would win for you.
The least he could do was apologise for not making you his centrefold like he knew you deserved.
Mat stared down at the phone in his hand, pressing your contact before he could talk himself out of it. He had to try. For you, for him, for the forever he knew you two could have.
He had to try.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“Hello?”
.
#eras tour fic challenge#mat barzal#nhl#new york islanders#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal x you#mat barzal x y/n#mat barzal fic#mat barzal oneshot#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl one shot
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Not a fic request; I just recently discovered and binge-read your Somebody to Call My Own Au and I was struck with an idea I'd love to share.
I love your post about stcmo!Ford meeting the Canon Grunkles, but I got to thinking, "Why would he need to go to dimension 46'\?" And the most obvious answer is, Grunkle Stan almost died.
So picture it, the sea Grunks have been living their shared dream for close to a year and have been steadily making their way back to Gravity Falls for their niblings second summer there, when 46'\ Ford detects an anomaly that's not too far off course. He convinces Stanley to go investigate it as one last hurrah before they turn in for the summer.
However, in an attempt to document it, they ended up angering the creature and now have to fight it or risk their boat capsizing. Stanley ultimately ends up falling overboard, and while Ford is concerned, he is rational enough to know that Stan's wearing a life jacket, has fallen off the boat before (and knew how to pull himself back up by now) and always turned out fine, save for falling ill for a bit.
But while Ford's busy making sure the boat doesn't turn over, he realizes Stan is taking a lot longer than he should to climb back up.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he catches a flash of blue light and a dark figure landing on his deck. It takes him all of two seconds to realize who it is, and in that time, the guy has already dove into the water. Motherfucking Stanford Pines from dimension 419"3.
So now Ford is pissy because this edgelord version of himself, who beat him up once over having a shit take years ago, just showed up for no reason and will probably make his day even worse.
And then he comes to the chilling realization that 419"3 Ford only shows up when a Stanley is at risk of dying.
In the meantime, 419"3 Ford kills the monster and ends up having to unhinge it's jaw in order to drag Stanley out of its mouth. He's unconscious, but alive.
The boat settles and Ford 419"3 drags Stan onto the deck to perform cpr, make sure he does get hypothermia, y'know, standard procedure. Ford 46'\ is instantly glued to his brother's side and is insistent that once he is breathing clearly and conscious, Ford 419"3 has to go.
Frankly, he's knee-deep in denial that Stan was even going to die. His Stan isn't like the other Stan's that need help. He's tougher. He beat Bill Cipher for crying out loud! He doesn't need help, especially from 419"3 Ford!
He's always fine.
Of course, 419"3 Ford disproves that claim, saying that's a very naive way of thinking. That 46'\ Ford had believed Stan was "fine" for ten years, when he very clearly wasn't. In fact, there was a 100% chance that Stan would die in that fish's mouth because Ford had prioritized the boat over rescuing Stan.
419"3 Ford says he's going to stick around to ensure that Stan is healthy and he might even stay until they reach land because he doesn't trust 46'\ Ford to not get distracted by some other big fish.
46'\ Ford is appalled by the idea that he'd put his brother’s health even further at stake and is pretty insistent that they get Stan to a hospital asap, which they both can agree on for once. (I like to imagine Stan's in the background very much not wanting to go to a hospital because he's still legally dead and would honestly like to keep it that way, but he's being ignored in favor of his health.)
Still Ford 46'\ wants 419"3 gone. He knows his methods, he knows his MO, and he does not trust him with his brother. He does not need to be tested. He's learned the lesson already. The thought of losing Stan again kills him inside.
And yet the thought lingers. Stan would've died, barely a month before their first shared birthday in forty years. He'd have to return to Gravity Falls alone. He'd have to break the news to Dipper and Mabel.
Their hero was gone and it would've been his fault.
But he wasn't. And Ford wouldn't admit it out loud, it was all thanks to Ford from 419"3. That asshole saved his brother.
But we all know how much Ford struggles with saying "Thank you".
Anyways, that was just something my angsty ass came up with because your Au is so compelling and inspiring. I'd actually write a fic of it, if I wasn't already committed to a long fic rn. Hope your days going well☺���💗💗💗
Omg... why do y'all keep giving me the brainworms??? You know I'm gonna have to write something for this now, right?
#gravity falls#side quest#the nexus#somebody to call my own au#ford pines#stan pines#stan and ford#stan twins#ask box
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Cockwarming g!p kkura while she's playing a game >.< !!
the most asked fic but can never get enough of!!!1!1! 😫😭
also i apologize for the cringe title but ahem i didnt have any fucking ideas... also i think it looks a bit rushed?? idk 😭
✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆
“Me or the PS5?”
g!p (sub? dom? who am i) Sakura Miyawaki x female reader
Smut (+ crumb of angst?)
Cockwarming
Making out
Marking (hickeys...)
Dirty talk
Cock riding
Mentions of pregnancy (?)
Pet names:3
why does the parrot emoji appear when i type dirty talk... oh wait its just for talk oops 🦜
✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆
"Seriously, you're starting to piss me off, Kkura."
"Look, I'm sorry, I kn-"
"I don't wanna hear it!"
Well, you were fuming. Sakura's schedule was full as always and she comes home when you're asleep; you practically never see her. Until tonight, you were somehow able to stay awake – or it's just that she came home slightly earlier – and you had to confront her about this.
"I'm tired, you know? I feel like I'm alone in this house."
"I understand, Y/N. But I can't-"
"This isn't only for me, Kkura, you're tiring yourself too! Is there really no way you can-"
"No! Okay? I can't! It's how my schedule is, being an idol isn't easy!"
Her sudden outburst made you feel guilty. It's true, you were kind of selfish and wanted her all to yourself- but wait, were you selfish? You weren't seeing her at all! However, you were also looking after her, so...
You both sigh, Sakura rubbing her temples. She was tired, like you, and you had to do something about it.
"Can we... Just go to sleep? I'm tired."
You unclench your fists and nod quietly, both of you heading upstairs.
Days pass and you never really spoke about the situation anymore since Sakura's outburst was the thing that shut you up. But then one afternoon, you come back from the grocery store and enter the house to sound...? Faint music?
You slowly make your way upstairs and-
"Wha..."
Sakura, right there, on your bed, playing a game with a PS5 controller in her hands.
"Kkura?"
"Oh, hey, baby."
"Why are you home so early?"
Sakura explains that she took what you said about tiring herself out into consideration and decided to ask for a day or two off, which actually made you quite surprised.
"...so... You took days off to game?"
Sakura laughs.
"You weren't home, so, heh- I was just enjoying myself."
"Since you're here, can we cuddle, please? I missed you so much."
Sakura smiles guiltily.
"Can I... Finish this round first...?
You climb on the bed and smack her shoulder.
"Are you serious?! Sakura! Come on!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just... Please, I'm so close."
"Close to what?!"
"Finishing!"
You look at the screen, and she's at the second phase of some boss fight. You look back at your focused girlfriend, pouting.
"So it's the PS5 you're choosing over me?"
"Love, don't be like that... I'll do whatever you want after this, promise."
You smirk.
"You know, cuddles can wait, but... I kinda wanna punish you."
"Uh... Huh?"
"How 'bout you finish that game while I make you finish inside me?"
As the boss does some long animation for a super attack, Sakura looks at you, her cheeks flushed as you pull down her pants and boxers in one go.
"You're not gonna give me head while playing, right? You're not that evil..."
She gulps, preparing herself as the animation is almost over, no longer looking at you.
"Nah, I'm planning on doing something much worse."
That made Sakura's mind 'unfocus' and she barely dodges the attack, making her heart skip a beat at the fear of almost losing to that. While she was panicking, you were already undressed, sitting on her cock and taking it all at once.
"Fuck- Y/N! You-"
"Shhh, don't focus on me now, or you might lose~"
Sakura groans, tilting her head to the side as she wraps her arms around you, controller on your back as you hug her. Your hands slide inside her oversized shirt, roaming on her creamy back, making her shiver because they were cold.
Your lips find their way on her neck, kissing the warm skin. Sakura's mouth being next to your ear made you hear every single breath and whimper and gasp and moan, literally any sound she made.
"Y/N- Since when did you become so tight?"
"That's because you aren't fucking me so often."
As the third phase begins, you hear Sakura moan as you suck a hickey on her neck then she giggles.
"So you're saying you want me to fuck you more?"
You clench around her cock at her words, smirking as you lick the mark you just gave her. You definitely missed feeling her cock hitting you deep inside your pussy, and the memories coming back to you made you feel all hot and sweaty.
"Maybe~"
You plant a kiss on her cheek, teasingly clenching around her dick. She was so focused on her game, it made you wonder how she didn't just throw her controller and started fucking you yet. She must really like her game...
Your hands snake up to her chest, and since she wasn't wearing a bra, it just made the whole thing much easier for you. You squeeze her breasts, rolling her nipples between your fingers. You just do that for a few moments, hearing Sakura moan and squirm underneath you. And then, a cutscene comes up.
"Your lips look so dry, baby."
"So?"
"How about I take care of them for you, mm?"
And with that, you pull her in a deep kiss, to which she surprisingly doesn't hesitate. Controller in one hand, she runs her second one down to your ass, squeezing one of your cheeks as she lifts you up maybe like one millimeter, then back down, as if telling you to fuck yourself on her dick. But you don't, kissing her even harder now.
"That desperate?"
"Fuck you."
It was now her turn to squeeze your breasts, taking one in hand but having difficulties to squeeze it correctly because of your bra. Unfortunately, she couldn't remove it as she couldn't risk both her hands being busy.
It was kinda funny if you think about it; both of you are just making out while you grind on her cock with random people talking in the background because of Sakura's game.
Sakura now runs her hand on your back, pulling you closer to her body as she feels you clench and clench around her nonstop. You could feel her smirk against your lips, and you couldn't help but smirk back.
It was true she might lose this game because of you, but... She would enjoy the way you're making her lose.
"You're always unsatisfied, Y/N."
"Can you blame me?"
She scoffs and thrusts upwards, making you gasp and tighten your grip around her. The cutscene was finally over so the game gained her focus again, leaving you breathless and dangerously close to cumming. You could tell she was also close by how big her cock became.
"K-Kku...~"
"Ngh- Just a second..."
"Please... Please, let me...~"
Your needy and hot voice in her ear made her gush out more precum inside you that you can assume she already came, but she didn't. All you could hear were your joint heartbeats, heavy breathing, soft moans and game sound effects.
"Sakura-"
"Y/N, just a minute."
"Please, so close~"
"Fuck, Y/N..."
"Cum inside me..."
Sakura's sick throbbed at that, and you moan at the feeling.
"Please... Please, just lose, I'll help you beat that level, you know I'm good at it..."
Well, it wasn't a lie, but Sakura stays stubborn. You jolt your hips forward, making Sakura moan.
"Damnit! Y/N, I-"
"Please, I'm a good girl...~"
You kept begging, but she wasn't listening. Just ignoring you seemed like a good plan to her, but little did you know it was so hard to ignore you.
You gave up, honestly. You knew how Sakura was with her games.
"You're really making me wait..."
"I'm gonna beat it."
"I told you I'd help you, I just wanna cum..."
"I know you don't like the game, that's why I'm beating it now."
You pause to process her words, blushing slightly. Did Sakura really just make you wait for that? Well, it was sweet, you had to say that.
And then, what seemed like an eternity, she beat the game, a golden 'Victory' appearing on the screen. Quickly, she goes back to the main menu and tosses the controller on the other side of the bed, holding your hips and slamming you down on her cock.
"Aaah~! Fuck! You could've warned me!"
"Sorry, princess, but I'm getting damn impatient here~"
Your whole body was bouncing; head, breasts, ass... The perfect view for Sakura. She loved seeing you go wild on her cock.
"So, you wanna cum, huh? Cum for me, baby."
"C-Cum inside me, please, please..."
"Aww, missed my cum? Don't worry, pretty, I'm gonna fill you up good."
Continuing her assault on your pussy, she forces your upper body down to give you a hickey as she starts grinding you back and forth on her length.
"There, we're equal now~"
You'd smile, embarrassed, meeting her lips in another heated kiss. Hands everywhere, she smacks your ass twice, full palms on cheeks, causing loud slapping sounds to echo in the room. Gosh, you loved that.
Your tongues were wrapped around one another, your lips red and sore as you continue your make out session.
"I... I c-can't take anymore~"
"Mm? Okay~"
She breaks the kiss and starts fucking you again – well, forcing you to ride her cock, actually – feeling your cunt tighten and soak her dick.
"I'm gonna fill you up real good."
She looks deep into your eyes.
"Gonna let you have my kids, how 'bout that?"
"Fuck, Kkura, give them to me!"
With one last thrust, she makes you sit on her lap, balls deep inside you as she explodes, releasing all her cum in your cunt. You cum around her, soaking her lap and dick, both of you moaning so loud, your voice cracking like crazy.
You collapse on top of her as she lays down on her back, her cock slipping out of you because you were so damn wet. She chuckles.
"Like the background music? It's really romantic, mm?"
The 'action' hype music along with her sarcasm makes you chuckle in turn.
"Definitely."
✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆
me and the PS5 least you know where I'ma be at night 🗣️
#sakura miyawaki#sakura miyawaki x reader#sakura x reader#le sserafim smut#sakura smut#smut#sakura miyawaki smut#sakura miyawaki x female reader#sakura#g!p sakura x reader#g!p#g!p sakura
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Something Golden, Something Glistening
So I decided to write my first ever fic!! If you want to read on Ao3 there is a link below.
Spite x Rook
Spite wakes, Lucanis finally succumbs to slumber, he needs the rest after their trip to Arlathan Forest. And Spite has a mission of his own, he needs to speak to her. To Rook, her eyes always seem to look his way. Spite needs to know why, how. Nobody other than Lucanis can see him. He is..curious.
He walks to find her, finally he catches a hint of her scent and follows. Smells like vanilla, apricot and tea leaves. He ends up in the Lighthouse’s music room, her back is turned to him sitting by the harpsichord. Candlelight all around fills the space, but Rook is somehow surrounded by complete darkness. There is stillness in the room. She is humming a tune unfamiliar to him, but her emotions are sad. ‘Taste like agony, torment and shame!’, Spite exclaims to himself. Another mystery that needs to be solved for another time.
“Spite, come to talk?” Rook says gently, not surprised he is here.
Purple eyes narrows. “You know. It is us. How!?” he asks impatiently. Rook turns around to observe him, her gaze feels heavy on him yet gentle, a warmth he’s not used to. Everything is usually sharp edges, harsh words spoken between him and Lucanis. Never a balance, always on pins and needles. She is so aware of him. It feels good. After a while Rook says;
“It’s good that Lucanis finally gets some sleep, I understand why he doesn’t want to but… maybe you and I can work together, speak to him?” Her voice is gentle and friendly.
‘She ignores the question! We want to know!’
Spite takes a few steps towards her. “ Agh! No. Answer us!” he grunts abruptly and fixes her with an aggravated look. Lucanis can wait, now it is his turn to be heard. ‘I matter too!’ He thought she was different when the mage and her dwarf companion rescued them from the Ossuary. Was he wrong?
“I apologise, Spite. Of course you matter. I don’t want you to think otherwise. I’m also curious about you two as well. But you are right, one thing at a time.” Her warm, gentle voice settles him a bit. He perks up, ‘Curious about us?!’
“Yes!” she grinned at him. “It’s funny you know, I can feel you all around, it’s the first thing I notice when you’re present. I see you clearer than most, your aura shines so brightly. It is hard to look away”, a soft smile is on her face. Dimples.
Spite walks closer. If he wanted, he could reach out and touch her. But for now it’s enough to be near and feel her warmth, so golden and fierce.
She pats on the seat beside her, inviting him in. “Come sit with me.” Her tone is still light and gentle. Not tense, not scared at all. Rook wants him here and he does not know how to feel, unsure now. Once he is sitting down the smell of vanilla, apricots and tea hits him more intensely. He gazes at the half empty cup of tea infront of her. Lucanis would disapprove, he is sure of it. His heart calls out for coffee. He turns to glance at her now, golden hair so bright, a soft and kind face looks back at him. Scars that resemble lighting on the side of her face, rosy flushed cheeks. And her eyes, grey, blurry and cloudy. ‘Pretty.’ Some type of injury as well, Spite wonders?
“My eyes they…I have trouble seeing at a longer distance. Many colours are lost on me. A lot of my world is grey now. But spirits and the Fade are overwhelmingly colourful. I have learned to use the Fade to help me see the world in a new way. People now look more like an..aura at a distance. If that makes sense?”, she tells him calmly.
That explains why her companion were extra observant around her when they fought the Venatori vermin. Rook fought well still, the sight was mesmerising and passionate. Then she tasted like thick smoke, lightning and death. When Rook fights she is like a knife, piercing and quick-witted. Now all he feels is hot golden bliss. It was distracting, he only wanted more.
“I will. Watch over you! No one touches you!” Spite states forcefully.
“ Spite-” she protests.
“No! You fight well. And dangerous. I want to. Help!” He doesn't want to offend her, never her. He needs to make her see. ‘Listen’. Giving her a firm look. ‘Let. Me. Help.’ Spite will not look away until Rook understands. They stare at each other, equally stubborn the both of them. Who will crumble first? Not him, he likes when he gets his way, used to it. He wins, dominates. Despite looking at him so intensely, she is still so..relaxed. Her face perks up and gives him a mischievous look. At last she breaks their eye contact and laughs.
“Okay, you win.”
He grins. ‘Hah! I knew. I win!’ Spite is pleased and ready to leave. He got what he wanted. As he stands back up she takes his hand. Warm, so warm and firm. Purple glow meets a grey cloudiness. She gives him her dimples again and his- Lucanis heart flutters. Her scorching look warms him inside and out, it is almost too much to bear. He needs her to drop his hand. It tingles.
“Will you make a contract with me? Let Lucanis sleep and not do anything stupid while he rests?”
“No fun!” Spite objects.
“Hmm..what do you say about hanging out with me again, here? Still holding his hand, but this time she squeezes it softly.
“And do what? Want to. Explore.” He demands.
“We can do that too, if you want. But I want to come with. Is that okay with you?” Rook suggests. Spite thinks it over, it could not be so terrible. He will ask her more questions and she will answer. He is very good at getting his way, this could work in his and Lucanis favour. Get information, Be useful.
He makes an irritated noise and sighs. “Fine! Contact accepted. And I want. To try. Tea!”
Rook only responds with a laugh and he once again sees her dimples.
#rook x spite#rook#spite#spite dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#lucanis x rook
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On Rob's Good Omens sweaters...
Bluesky has some photos of Rob Wilkins wearing these two holiday sweaters:
At the first glance you go "awww, how perfect, I need those sweaters!" but then you're like "hold on a second!"
For the sake of this meta, I'm going to assume the designs are deliberate, and not just idk cheap fakes ordered from temu lol.
Let's start with stating the obvious. The red sweater has the characters' roles reversed - Crawly is sheltering Aziraphale. It's not a "book thing" either - there, Aziraphale held his own wings above himself. This is a minor detail, but Crawly's stance is also different than in the show - his legs are apart, in a position indicating strength, confidence, and protection. Meanwhile, the blue sweater has what looks like angel!Crowley sheltering a black-haired fallen angel. My first thought was that is could be Satan and this might be a hint that we're going to see Crowley's fall after all. But now I think different.
Regarding the red sweater in particular, my thoughts immediately wandered towards the multiple Edens theory and the two Crowleys theory. Just to quickly recap: discrepancies in the details on the walls of Eden have been spotted, and at one point someone from the crew mentioned that there were "many Edens" in existence (possibly testing grounds before the real one? Or several different enclosures for the first breeding pairs? We never found out). As for Crowley - many people have noticed differences in his looks throughout season 2. Most notably, his sideburns have differing length and it shifts within the same scene, e.g. the sideburns are long in the pub, but short when he leaves the pub; they are short during the "exactlys" argument, but long when Crowley snatches his sunglasses while storming out of the bookshop. Bildad the Shuhite also has two different hairstyle (one is shorter, more evenly cut and carefully combed, whereas the other is longer and a bit more "windswept"). There's also the matter of different camera filters, which is a commonly used technique to show different worlds (think Supernatural, and I think also some MCU films?), and the disappearing props.
So, taking the sweaters into consideration, could the world of Good Omens be comprised of multiple realities? The novel is one. Season 1 is another. Season 2 shows TWO (!), which are almost identical. Who knows, perhaps the Crowley with the short sideburns managed to sway Aziraphale in the Final Fifteen, or even changed his mind and hopped on the lift at the last moment? What if, presented on the sweaters are two more? On, in which it was Crawly offering shelfter to Aziraphale, and another one in which it was Aziraphale who fell (and his hair blackened in the process). Perhaps there are versions of this (sorry, couldn't resist!) in which they both fell, neither did, or they were an established couple by season 1?
It this were to prove true in the movie, it will have some pros, of course. Firstly, it would legitimise virtually all headcanons you might have (I was a little upset when s2 finale made it clear they weren't secretly a couple before). It would also boost creativity for all the reverse!Omens fic writers. And, of course, it would explain many things fans have noticed, especially about s2.
However, other than that, I don't think I like it that much. Above all, I simply dislike multiverse - I find them often too convenient narratively, while also needlessly convoluted. But aside from that, I wouldn't be happy to see that particular take in the movie. If we were getting out 6 episodes, it would be fun to watch particular scenes and increasingly go "huh?" as we spot consecutive discrepancies and minor details that don't work. And by the time it was revealed it would feel really rewarding that you have spotted the details, even if you failed to work it all out. Within mere 90 minutes… it just doesn't feel like enough time to drop enough hints, or, alternatively, the movie would be oversaturated with them. Finally, it would mean less screentime for the mercilessly truncated Aziracrow reconcilliation arc (which I am still grieving over), as instead we would receive glimpses of different universes, while still navigating the complex Second Coming plotline. Also, what would be the endgame? All the Aziraphales and Crowleys combining their forces to beat heaven and hell/the new christ/god herself? That's a bit too Marvel if you ask me, and with all my reservations about the movie, I rather trust Narrativia to offer us something much more original.
#good omens#good omens 3#good omens movie#yes I hate that we're only getting 90 minutes sue me#good omens movie theory#rob wilkins#good omens meta
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a little snippet from the friends with benefits to lovers jeggy fic i'm working on <3
"I'm pretty sure the property manager hates my guts already. I've been doing my best to go unnoticed so she won't complain so I can prove to the landlord that she's been targeting me.”
“Why do you have to prove it?”
Regulus looks back at the apartment across from his’, a sigh leaves his lips. “I don't want to stay here for much longer,” his voice is a tad lower, likely trying to avoid being heard by any of his neighbors. He unlocks the door and only after both he and James slip inside he speaks up again. “I don't like feeling like I'm being monitored. I know managers are supposed to keep an eye out, but she keeps lurking. And I know I'm not doing anything wrong, but it still feels very…”
“Cathartic?”
Regulus nods, wincing. He sits down on the couch and starts to untie his shoes. “I have five months left on the contract. I thought about starting to look for other apartments around the area, but I want to show my landlord that I'm not being irresponsible. I just… I don't want to live like this again.”
In moments like these, James misses being a teenager. In his Hogwarts days, after hearing Regulus say all that, he would've called an official Marauders Meeting™, how they liked to call it, and would teach Mrs… He didn't quite get her name, and he doubts Regulus would give it to him, either way. He and the boys would figure out a plan to show her that using her power as manager to try and harass Regulus out of the building wouldn't just go without any confrontation.
But… James knows better, now. He knows why it's completely off the table, and he knows why Sirius hasn't heard a word of this situation from Regulus ─ he tends to be pretty irrational when it comes to his brother, and he would most definitely get him kicked out, five months left or not.
Contrary to popular belief, James has matured. It tends to happen to everyone, at some point.
It happened to Regulus, too, James is sure, because the Regulus he first met, the Regulus who lived under his and Sirius’ parents, would've let it slide and endured. He would've stayed in the shadows for five more months, and then maybe left, if the hope for her to have changed, just a bit, had died.
Sometimes, James can see so much of Sirius in Regulus. It goes both ways, really. Yet, in times like this, James sees only Regulus.
“I take it you're trying not to cause any trouble?” James says, leaving his bag on the counter.
Regulus looks up at him, a small glint of mischief in his eyes. “I'm on my best behavior. All of her mistakes will be pretty baseless if I just keep being good.”
James smirks. “You're always pretty good, aren't you?”
#jegulus#regulus black#james potter#starchaser#sunseeker#james x regulus#james potter x regulus black#marauders#snippets
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i don't want to take up too much space or add negativity here by talking about it, but i do want to touch upon it.
this fandom is difficult. it's difficult in a way it never should have been, and it is nearly impossible to engage with it interactively in a way that doesn't cause you any harm.
and i think the thing i've been coming to terms with recently, is that i can't engage with it how i have been without causing harm in a general sense - especially over on tiktok.
there's a kind of complacency at the moment. complacency in fandom etiquette yes, but the main thing is JKR, and the complacency people have fallen into when it comes to her. when it comes to the tours, the merch, the REBOOT. there's a complacency.
and it's reached a point where,,, there isn't much to do about it.
because my account there has always been talkative - i started talking over there purely to talk about my thoughts and share my interests, and it gradually became more educational. which was fine when it started, but it's not anymore. it's not when it's no longer fun for me, and when it's turned from talking about fandom to defending my place in it. to educating people on why my life matters more than official HP content.
and most discourse? i'll talk about purely because i find it interesting, and then i'll move along. but i can't move along from the reboot and general jkr stuff because i'm trans outside of fandom as well as in it.
i can talk about how it feels to be trans in this fandom right now, and then i turn my phone off, and there's bills to pay. there's increasingly high hrt prices, there's routine blood tests that the nhs won't do for my heart condition, there's a road in my town i can't walk through because someone pulled a knife on me, there's law after law after law being debated, funded, and approved, there's opportunities i've been denied and necessities i've been denied because of my identity.
and i can't turn that off.
and it gets harder to separate the two. it gets harder to separate fandom and real life when i'm coming to a place that should be a form of escapism and hearing people talk about supporting JKR, so i counteract that and explain why we shouldn't, and then i'm directly impacted once the app is closed. i can't turn that off, and i can't feel right engaging in it.
and i think that's the sad thing. i know @sophsicle did a post on this recently, but once fandom and real life start mixing, it's so much harder to engage here because we are responsible. and i can't ethically (or healthily for myself) post about this fandom on tiktok when it's to blame for the complacency we're seeing. and it is to blame. it's the comments on fancasts videos, it's the promoting of jkr's universe in random comment sections just because people "look like" the marauders, it's the reposting of the reboot or official hp pages when they talk about marauders and it's so much more and it's just,,,, impossible.
and i sound like a broken record because for MONTHS i have been talking about this. for months i have been talking about the harm this will cause and a couple of months ago i said that if things don't start changing, you're going to see creators taking steps back.
and i think the most upsetting part, is that i explain this. i explain how important this space has been for my stability and my confidence, how it has been the biggest part of my life and i don't feel comfortable anymore and,,, the majority of the messages so far are "what's going to happen to the fic rec sheet?" "should i download all the fics on your account?" "what about xyz?" etc etc
and it's just,,, content over individual. whether that's the reboot over trans people, or videos over the person, it's always content.
idk man. i don't want this to be too negative but this space needs to work on its support. it needs to stand stronger against jkr, and it needs to stop calling itself inclusive in the meantime i think.
this has been overly negative but fandom isn't. a solid 90% of my time on tiktok has been lovely. i made 18k new friends, gained so much confidence (this is the only time i've ever been able to overcome my stammer and speech impediment and that's everything), raised 7.7k for my top surgery and just,,, it's overwhelmingly positive.
my bubble is good. and the space i have crafted is safe and lovely.
but i don't feel right posting on there anymore. not when wider fandom is a big part of why JKR is suddenly back in the picture, and we can "separate her from the reboot" (we can't).
this is very long so i'll end it with this:
it does not alleviate your guilt to engage with her in a "marauders way". if anything, it is worse to do that and post about it when this space prides itself on inclusivity.
you are not reclaiming this space, you are making it harder for those at risk to engage.
and you need to take "fuck jkr" out of your bio until your actions match your words, regardless of who is casted in a reboot that shouldn't be happening in the first place.
#robyn is ranting sorry#tumblr is fine im still here gang#so it's a bit pointless to rant here#but im sad and yall are my diary#and i need a HUG
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Euphemia and James - Writer's Notes
Earlier this year I wrote a fic titled "Euphemia and James," a story exploring Euphemia Potter and infertility. This is the most deeply personal story I've ever written, and it took a few weeks to write it because of the emotions it stirred up for me, but honestly, being able to write this took years of processing emotions. I decided to share some of my notes on this fic in this post, and it includes this lovely cover image from @livelaughlovetoread. This story is also unique in that it's written in second person POV. It wasn't intended to come out that way, but that's how it came out. See below the image for my notes:
Euphemia and James came from these lines from the extra-canonical writings on Pottermore/whatever they call it these days:
"[Fleamont] sold the company at a vast profit when he retired, but no amount of riches could compensate him or his wife Euphemia for their childlessness. They had quite given up hope of a son or daughter when, to their shock and surprise, Euphemia found that she was pregnant and their beloved boy, James, was born."
If you don't know anything about infertility, I envy you somewhat. Studies have shown that a diagnosis or experience of infertility is similar to receiving a cancer diagnosis or losing a close loved one. It took me a while to realize that a lot of the feelings I had surrounding infertility was actually grief and mourning.
So, I put it all into this fic. There are a few points I want to highlight, if you decide to read the fic or want to see some lines, and my feelings around it all:
"When you meet Fleamont Potter a year into your job at the apothecary, you have no intention of marrying him."
I more or less shamelessly wrote Euphemia and Fleamont's relationship to be similar to mine with Mr C. In fact, Mr C aka @rawr-gorg-smash read this work and we were both sobbing messes by the end of it.
"It will happen when it happens, they say. It will come when you least expect it, they say. That’s what everyone says, and you’re ready to punch the next person in the face who tells you to just “relax.”"
Infertile people will get advice like this frequently. It's meant to be helpful or sometimes soothing, I think, but all too often it's an empty hope. Sometimes, bodies just don't work right, no matter how much relaxing you do.
"It’s not polite to ask. Everyone knows where magical, adopted children come from. They are Muggleborn children who are delicately extracted from their birth homes and replaced with Squibs, or sometimes not replaced at all."
This part is world building by me - the idea of adoption in a magical world seemed odd to me. How would infertile magical couples adopt if they can't use potions or charms? I wouldn't put it past them to just take a Muggleborn child, modify memories, and go. I won't touch on real world adoption-there's a lot to unpack there-but this idea gave me some thoughts on magical adoption.
"It seems selfish to want more, when you already have so much. You question, for the first time in your life, if you really want a child."
I have heard people say things to this effect: it's so selfish to want your 'own' children or to want children and bring them into this world, or some variation of that. If this is what you believe, you and I are going to disagree and I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. But it's something I and many other infertile people have considered. The thing is, people have had children and will continue to have children throughout terrible periods of time. Does it make sense? Not necessarily. Human actions don't always make sense. To me, though, it speaks of hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, for a world that we will build that will be better for the next generation.
"Now you wish for a living child. There are no longer any expectations on your baby or the kind of person they’ll be. You want a living, breathing baby in your arms you can dote on, educate, feed, and guide through life."
I'll say that one of the few silver linings of infertility for me has been re-grounding my expectations of what kind of child I might have. It once was wishing for a boy or girl, or a kid who likes to read, or a kid who won't be into extreme sports, but now it's just a kid I want. I want to love them because they exist. That's all.
"It’s a shame that you only got nineteen years with your son, the one you wished had been born twenty years prior, so you could treasure twice as long with him."
One of my fears for having children later in life is not having enough time with them. Then again, young parents die. Even children die. If nothing else, whatever time I do have, I hope I use it to love whatever family I have to the fullest.
That's all I have for now. If you made it this far, read the fic, commented on it, left kudos, or a bookmark, thank you very kindly for your time. Of all the things I've written, this felt most like putting a piece of my heart into the world.
#euphemia potter#fleamont potter#james potter#euphemia x fleamont#cw infertility#infertility#cw pregnancy#pregnancy
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Have you published this yet? 😭 i NEED IT
I have not, I'm so sorry 😭 I am a very slow writer and fake dating real feelings turned into a longer fic than I anticipated!! I do have a tag for it now where I post snippets, and here's some more of The Phone Call as an apology for how long this dang fic is taking (little language warning for anyone who needs it!):
#tysm for your interest!!#i don't want to jinx anything by saying when i HOPE to post it by#but now that most of the july writing challenges have wrapped up i can shift my focus back to it + the ice cream shop au#something i've learned is the longer i stare at a fic the more i will doubt myself#so writing anything longer than 3-4k words is Really Stressful#but i truly do love this fic sm and i'm so hopeful and determined to do it justice !!#it's 3 chapters and a part of me just wants to like post the first one and get it out there#but a larger part of me kind of wants to be able to post it on some kind of definite schedule#and chapter 3 was giving me a Problem as of like a week and a half ago#fake dating real feelings#liza writes#erasermic#aizawa shouta#yamada hizashi#ask#long post
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Kinktober Day 23 & 26: "Bondage/Restraints" & "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism" - For OTP: "Femme Fatale and the Apex" (Sonya x Jennifer)
Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @imogenkol and @josephseedismyfather
Tagging @adelaidedrubman @spookyrares @derelictheretic @inafieldofdaisies @noodlecupcakes @direwombat @voidika @cassietrn @aceghosts @icecutioner @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @cloudofbutterflies92 @carlosoliveiraa @wrathfulrook @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @g0dspeeed @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins and @florbelles + anyone else who want to join.
Prompt based on this kinktober post made by fellow mutual @starsandskies. While the main Kink of this post is "Bondage/Restraints" & some "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism", there's also some minor inclusions of "Dirty Talk", "Orgasm Control", "Praise Kink", "Knife Play" and "Dom/Sub dynamic". I would have put down "Naked-Clothed" but the "clothed" person in question is an almost 10-foot tall cyborg beastie (with a human's brain) whose only covering is metal welded into the flesh so... SHRUG!
Anyway, SimpleGenius here from my Life, Despair & Monsters Blog. Just making my first contribution to Kinktober. I'm not really an excessive smut writer, though with that being said, I have written it on occasion, just never posting it (...until now). This is a oneshot devoted to Sonya and Jennifer just being their kinky selves.
From the mature tag and the title you can probably already guess that this oneshot (which will also be uploaded onto my AO3 as well) contains explicitly sexual content meant for 18+ users only. Minors Do Not Interact!
Here's some more warnings to scare off any stowaways.
CW: Explicit BDSM, Teasing/edging, stripping, (tail???) knife play, the equivalent of thigh riding for these two (but on Sonya's tail), naked female with not kind of non-naked female (there's like barbie physiques/anatomy involved with Sonya), and minor mention of a blood kink (unsurprisingly Jennifer's kind of a freak too). Basically monster-fucking (maybe robot-fucking? Or would it be cyborg-monster fucking???). A mix between praise and degradation kinks. Sexual fantasies. Really freaky behavior coming from these two. But very enthusiastic consent! Also vulgar language. And whatever else there is.
I’ve tried my best to research the sex aspect of it all, and even if I don’t believe it’s all accurate I think I did good with what I could find.
TW: Slight mentions of referenced murder and maybe cannibalism (Sonya's got a human brain inside a very non-human body so I don't know what lines that crosses). And minor implications of a toxic dynamic. They're both possessive people who suck so bad.
With that out of the way, I hope you do enjoy what I've written below the cut. This will officially be my first smut that I've publicly published. I'll be sure to reblog this post with the link to the one that'll be posted on my AO3. Also I'll be publishing another Kinktober Oneshot shortly after this one from my @the-silver-chronicles blog, about the main couple of that series, Silva and Faith. So don't be alarmed by a random ping from an icon you may or may not recognize.
Title: The Tails That Bind
Series: Life, Despair & Monsters (Love Death + Robots)
Character/s: Sonya/Sonnie | The Apex/Khanivore (re-interpreted canon character with OC qualities), Jennifer, Dicko (referenced in passing) and Sir Enigma Malvolio (referenced OC).
Words: 5,635
She heard her before she saw her; the click-clack of heels on marble closing in to their quarters.
Sonya remained where she was though; hanging from the ceiling in the expansive space that was refurbished to specifically accommodate her massive form, the high walls adorned with deep claw marks and scrapes she entrenched her talons and tail spikes into. Certainly, better than the restrictive pod or the dirty paddocks.
In contrast to her usual straightforwardness, when it came to dealing with her "mistress" of all people, Sonya made an effort in entertaining her more dramatic flairs.
If only to piss off the shrewd woman.
The door opened with such force that when Sonya peeked through her only optic, shutters uncoiling from her lens, to witness the blonde slam the door shut with a ferocity that immediately turned her on.
Someone's already pissy today, Sonya noted as she continued to observe with growing interest.
Jennifer turned around, short blonde hair barely touching her shoulders, noticeably a little frazzled with a few more wild strands curling out than usual. Her yellow rose still managed to survive staying pinned in her hair in spite of the fact Jennifer looked on the verge of ripping her hair out.
Her brows were furrowed, her face was scrunched in anger and a lovely snarl adorned her lips. Blue eyes darted to her white laced gloves, ripping them off as she mumbled curses under her breath. Sonya's optic lingered on the curves of her body, covered only by the golden dress Jennifer preferred to wear.
Sonya preferred when she didn't wear anything. Ogling Jennifer had been the closest her human brain could get to experiencing arousal within a body that wasn't designed to feel it. She had to get creative and tamper with many of the strange machinations and codes Malvolio left in her cursed Beastie body to at least have her body acknowledge the feelings.
In spite of this, she was still so far from reaching her goal of actually feeling the satisfactory conclusion of pleasure.
"-that old fuck!" Sonya was brought back to reality by the enraged outburst from Jennifer.
"Which old fuck are you referring to this time?" Sonya spoke in a voice more mature and sophisticated than her original gruff and accented voice, the crackling of the speaker embedded in her throat alerting Jennifer to the other presence in the room.
Jennifer's alarmed blue eyes pointedly gazed up to meet her gleaming red optic. However, she relaxed once she saw it was just Sonya, who uncoiled herself to lower her body, but refrained from leaving the ceiling just yet.
"It's one of Dicko's closer business partners," Jennifer told the Apex, kneeling down to take off her heels, "And I thought you were down in your workshop."
That doesn't narrow it down to who it is at all, Sonya wanted to retort, but chose to respond with, "I was, but it's so hot down there that I decided to seek out the coolest room I knew of."
"The wonders of an air con," Jennifer remarked, moving over to her vanity desk to set down her yellow rose from her hair.
Sonya rolled her optic at the snide comment, and returned her attention back to the source of Jennifer's sour mood, "Which one of Dicko's partners had it been? Ross or Carmen?"
"Ross. Carmen took a vacation, lucky bastard," Jennifer grumbled about the latter, though the former's name was spoken with disgust, "He was countering every proposition I made. Questioning my ability as a successor to Dicko's business. And attempting to belittle me in front of every one of those weak and cowardly geezers. The absolute gall!"
Sonya lowered herself above the bed, talons underneath her jaw as she watched her mistress rage. If she could, she'd be squeezing her thighs together to add a little friction. Unfortunately, her body wasn't included with genitals, and rubbing her thighs together in this body would just be pointless, so she could only visualize the image to force herself from screaming internally.
"The fucker was also leering at me. Almost all of them were," Jennifer continued, sitting down onto the foot of her massive mattress with a huff.
"I don't blame them," Sonya replied, extending her neck so her head was close above Jennifer, "Your body is desirable. You're probably the only woman in their life they can jack off to. I know that's what I'd be doing."
Jennifer abruptly turned with a face full of red; not blushing red, but pissed off red.
"Oh, fuck you," she replied, standing up to move away from Sonya and the bed.
"You'd have to beg me for that," Sonya said in a sing-song rhythm, chortling.
Jennfier crossed her arms as she stewed in her anger more, "This is serious. I know they're conspiring against me. Honestly, I wish I could have them all dead by tomorrow morning."
Sonya piqued at that, red optic widening with optimism.
"You know, if Ross is being so bothersome," she spoke up, her next words a suggestion, "I could eat him for you."
Jennifer turned to look at the beastie, opened her mouth to chide her, but closed it as she considered the idea, a smile crossing her lips, until a frown swiftly replaced it, and she shook her head.
"While I certainly wouldn't be against the idea," she told the Apex with sincere consideration, she rebuked the idea, "I can't just make an example out of him. At least not right now. I require his cooperation to gain access to his assets, and if I killed him now, it'd harm my reputation and standing with the other partners. And without them, we won't have a chance of finding Malvolio."
The very name of that... thing made Sonya's entire nervous system shudder, the dark thoughts resurfacing. She let them fester at the edge of her mind, before dispelling them back to the pits. She'll let them re-emerge once they found the creature; let him face the result of his violation towards her body.
Jennifer huffed out a sigh, which returned Sonya's attention back to her even as she went to make her leave, "I need to let off some steam."
Sonya tilted her head as she watched Jennifer pause just a step away from the door. The woman's blue eyes glanced back to the beastie, gaze following the Apex's elongated muscled arms, thick metal-plated tails, their twitching rattles near the piercing pincers and closed sharp jaw.
She bit her bottom lip, her hands slid down to her hips as she slowly strutted back over to Sonya.
"You know," Jennifer said as she reached the bed, "I just remembered how I never thanked you for stopping that assassin. And a good beast like you deserves a fitting reward for protecting her mistress so well."
Sonya cocked her head, red optic narrowing down at Jennifer. Sonya remembered the incident clearly; there had been a scorned bidder who lost because of Dicko's fateful mistake of convincing them to bet a lot of money against Malvolio. He managed to slip past Jennifer's guards and got too close for Sonya's liking.
Luckily, the Apex was on Jennifer's patrol guard, and she had spotted the glint of the knife before it had even left its sheath. Fittingly, she gave the man the same end she gave Dicko when saving her mistress; a biting introduction to her maw.
But that had been several weeks ago.
"Is that so?" Sonya inquired, wishing she had a brow to raise.
Jennifer only nodded, wetting her petite lips. She slid two fingers on both hands underneath her dress' loose straps, letting them fall limply down her arms to expose more skin. She reached behind her back, tugging the zip down behind her dress so she could loosen her front, exposing a small amount of cleavage to the Apex.
Sonya was surprised of her own self-control when her lens zoomed in on the skin, how calm and collected she managed to breathe. She restrained herself though; she had too much pride in herself to lay down and roll over like a dog.
No, she had a better idea.
"Oh, don't bullshit me with your "reasoning" darling, you just want me to fuck your brains out until you forget your own name and can't remember your troubles in the morning," Sonya retorts, her talons touching the ground as she leans over the bed, bringing her head closer to Jennifer's face.
There was no fear in her mistress' eyes, only a waiting expectation and a carnality that involuntarily made the Apex shake in excitement. Sonya continued, "If you think you can flatter me into getting between your legs, then I encourage you to resume because it is working."
Jennifer grinned in triumph as she proceeded to pull her zipper down further, but halted when Sonya added, "However, as I said before, it'll require you to beg."
Jennifer scoffed and shook her head, "I'm not doing that. You fuck me, or you don't. Your choice."
Despite her confidence, Sonya saw through her act and huffed out a disappointed steam of air as she started retracting backwards, "Oh well, I guess I won't-"
With her bluff blown, Jennifer's eyes widened as she reached forward for the Apex's face, pleading, "Wait! Fuck, fine, please fuck me. Please plow my pussy with your long, flexible and magnificent tongue until my mind goes blank. Make me scream your name each time you make me cum. I'll do anything you want, Sonya."
Sonya wished she could grin just as badly as she wished she could get wet right now.
She decided to put an end to her mistress' misery.
"Since you begged so desperately for it, I guess I have no choice but to fuck your brains out," Sonya concurred, and hummed, "But I'm curious... you'll do anything I want?"
Jennifer paused, narrowed her eyes in challenge, and responded, "Yes. I'll... try whatever you want, as long as I get fucked in the end. Sound like a fair exchange?"
Sonya nodded and tapped a talon on her chin in thought. There weren't much things her body could be used for during sex that wouldn't be detrimental to Jennifer's health, with exception to her tongue and the rattles under her curved blades that tipped her tails.
Although, she recalled the night she and Jennifer had met and began their cooperation, specifically to the moment where the Apex had Jennifer restrained with her tails, That has been something I've wanted to do again.
Gaining an idea, she replied, "You know, I've been wanting to try some bondage on you."
Jennifer's face scrunched in confusion until Sonya's tails disconnected from the walls and awaited by the Apex's sides. There were three in total, all tipped with dagger like pincers, and two rattles that resided near the curve of the blade, which she's been allowed to use like a vibrator before.
Jennifer once again bit her bottom lip while she thought of those around her body.
"I have no complaints," she tells the beastie, though frowns at the state of the bed, "Though I'm not getting naked until the bed's cleared of your mess."
Sonya knelt up so she could get a better look at the bed. Her optic immediately spotted the dust and chips of the ceiling that managed to fall down.
Without much patience, Sonya took the solution of using her tails to tip the bed to the side and shake off all the unwanted variables, before setting it back down normally.
"That better?" she asked.
Jennifer looked at the newest state of her large bed, which now lacked the pillows and blankets that were unceremoniously tossed off. Though seeing that the silk sheets remained on, all Jennifer responded with was a calm yet exasperated, "Sure."
Sonya positioned herself closer to the wall of the bed's frame, knelt down so she wouldn't cover most of the bed's space when her head laid down, while also keeping her tails free and ready.
Jennifer crawled onto the bed, swaying her body seductively while she made her way over to the Apex's head, which allowed the straps of her golden dress to loosen further down, just above her elbows. The front of her dress barely hung close to her chest, and Sonya swore she felt her brain overheat when her optic focused on the view of more of Jennifer's cleavage barely hidden by the loose clothes.
Jennifer got close enough to the Apex's face just to lean upwards until she sat at her bare heels, one hand going behind to zip her dress down the rest of the way, while the other kept the front of her dress from falling down. Sonya slightly tilted her head up so her optic could capture everything.
"I know how excited you've been for this," Jennifer purred as she gazed into the red hue of Sonya's optic, "I know you've been craving to see these again."
She pulled one strap down all the way, and then freed her arm of the other, before grabbing her the front of her dress and pulling the golden gown down, slightly jiggling free her petite perky tits. Sonya shook with a passionate eagerness at the visual image, just about all her mind could express through the body without pouncing onto Jennifer to forgo the bondage altogether.
She wanted to restrain herself, to prolong this just long enough to enjoy the experience and ensure she actually succeeds in listening to Jennifer's only demand.
"I know you've missed them," Jennifer swayed her chest, catching the Apex full attention. She grabbed hold of her breasts, massaging and giving her tits a pleasing yet playful squeeze as Sonya observed, winding herself up while putting on a show for her beastie. She gasped as she flicked her nipples, gently twisting them between her fingers as the tingling sensations caused her thighs to rub together.
She was enjoying herself now, and from how she looked at Sonya's quivering form, she knew the Apex enjoyed this show as well.
Jennifer stood up, dragging her hands over her breasts as she brought them across the skin of her body, the ticklish senses stirring a heat to coil within her. She performed a sensual dance in view of Sonya's optic, bringing her hands down to her hips where her dress hung closely, thumbs digging under the gown's hem, teasingly dragging it below her pelvis.
She spun around in her erotic sway, much to Sonya's surprise, but leaned down as she dragged the rest of her dress over her sexy ass, nothing worn underneath. She let the golden gown fall the rest of the way and glanced back at Sonya's now widened optic. With a pleased smirk, Jennifer gave herself a resounding smack against one of the cheeks.
Sonya's talons scraped against the marble floor. She clenched her jaw as she clutched hold over her fraying self-control, deciding that Jennifer's teasing needed to end here.
Thankfully, it was just about time Jennifer finished her little striptease for Sonya, and her blonde mistress knelt on her heels, dainty hands grabbing hold one of the alien protrusions coming out the Apex's head and underneath the narrow chin of her sharp jaw respectively, intentionally pressing her petite breasts against the optic as she leaned her head down to a small slit beside Sonya's frame to sultrily whisper in her audio receptors.
"What now, Sonnie?"
The lustful softness of her nickname snapped Sonya out of her patient observations, and she lifted her head up out of Jennifer's hold so her red optic could meet her mistress' blue eyes below.
"Now, I'll require you to turn around," Sonya instructed, her tails moving closer to the bed, "Make sure your arms are crossed behind you, and legs spread apart."
Jennifer turned around as instructed; not without doing a little show of shaking her ass temptingly as she settled into the position. Sonya was fueled with even more excitement of the opportunity of returning some teasing of her own.
Jennifer crossed her arms behind her, and Sonya immediately coiled her middle tail around the smaller woman's waist which then extended to her dainty hands, earning a surprise yelp from her mistress as her arms were secured tightly.
"Do you trust me?" Sonya let the question out softly at the shell of Jennifer's ear, her middle tail's blade carefully and gently stroking its cool steel-like tip down the human's back. The bladed pincer soon curved to brush one of mistress' lower cheeks, sensing her body clench at the sensual contact on instinct while the other tails began to coil under and around her thighs, "To release your doubts? To let go of all your inhibitions?"
With me, Sonya left unsaid. She shunned the thought... the very emotion infecting it, aside to the corners of her mind. No need to mix feelings with pleasure. Especially when she was nothing more than a thing to Jennifer...
As both tails snaked up from Jennifer's thighs to her upper body, the left pincer delicately scraped along her stomach while the right began to curl around her right breast with the blade leaving a ghost of a kiss to her jaw in passing.
Jennifer gasped out a light moan when her middle tail began to rub against her wet cunt, in a back and forth motion, ensuring the blade's sharpness did not touch the soft flesh. Soon the sleek metal was glistened with her slickness.
"Fuck, yes," Jennifer answered approvingly, rocking her wet cunt in unison of the tail. She bit her bottom lip to suppress another moan as the left and right tipped tails coiled around her tits, the appendages lightly playing with her breasts with deliberate twists and squeezes, the blades lightly kissing along the sensitive flesh.
Sonya focused on the priority of not piercing the skin with her tipped blades. She teased the flesh with an expertise akin to a surgeon, with her only intent of not cutting in and letting Jennifer bleed.
God forbid Jennifer cums early to the sight of her own blood because Sonya got sloppy. The Apex wanted to prolong this for her own sense of pleasure as well.
Soon her tails lifted up Jennifer, much to the smaller woman's surprise. Sonya raised her above the beastie's head, claws brought on to the bed in case the Apex had to catch her.
Slowly, she rotated Jennifer upside-down so her optic could get a better look at her reactions. To her delight, Jennifer squirmed in her grip, like last time. Unlike last time, the cause of her squirming came from the vibrating rattles that grazed closer to her swelling clit, the tipped blade positioned to poke above her trimmed blonde pubic hair.
Jennifer whined when the rattles on the left and right tails began to move, flicking her erect nipples between the vibrating pair on both coiled tails. She tried to arch her back into the vibrating sensations, as well as attempted to widen her legs so the rattles on the middle tail would have more space, but Sonya kept her restrained in position, brushing the rattles to her wet puffy pussy but never staying for long. She was completely at Sonya's mercy.
Much to the younger woman's growing frustration. A frustration that transitioned into a filthy, primal need.
Sonya was enticed by the desperate whines that escaped Jennifer's mouth, her red optic hungrily filling it's view of her elevated bare body; held up by her, restrained by her, receiving and being denied pleasure from her.
She focused on the blonde's gaping pouts, faint blush forming across her face, her blonde hair flowing downwards. Sonya's tongue flicked within her closed maw at the sight of sweat beginning to break from her mistress' body, who uselessly rutted her hips in the air to reach the teasing rattles, how pronounced her small breasts were from their bound state and the slick juices surrounding her pussy.
Sonya's entire system felt a fluctuation of pleasure within herself from the visual stimuli. It wouldn't be enough to ever reach a satisfying conclusion, though it was fun, nonetheless. When her audio receptors picked up pleading mewls coming from Jennifer, Sonya knew it was nearly time to settle her part of this exchange.
"What was that?" Sonya playfully inquired, listening to the words being interrupted by soft gasps whenever her rattles vibrated too close to her sensitive cunt and swollen clit, "I can't hear what you’re trying to say over such lewd sounds darling. Could you perhaps speak up?”
Through shaky breaths, Jennifer swallowed her murmured pleas and choked out a strained, "Sonya... I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to cum. Please, it's unbearable, let me cum already. Stop teasing and fuck me!"
Sonya ate up her begging cries; she could see a glimpse of forming tears at her eyes. She briefly wondered if she should just wait long enough for her mistress to start crying, so she could bring out her tongue and lap up the falling tears. She hadn't kissed the woman's face with her tongue in a while, it could be a nice change of pace to show she cared-
As quickly as that idea came, Sonya dismissed the thought with a visceral fear? rejection. If she did that, then she wouldn't stop at the tasteful tears; she'd continue stroking her tongue along Jennifer's sweaty and salty unmarked flesh, until she got down to between her thighs and fed on the fluids there.
She could make Jennifer cry from pleasure then, sure; but she didn't want to use her tongue to have the woman undone, she wanted her mistress gushing from her very touch.
Sonya refocused on Jennifer once more, her helpless form cursing underneath her breath as her breasts were continuously played with while her pussy received nothing but teasing touches that edged her on but denied her true release.
Sonya hummed, feigning pondering in thought, as she took a sweet moment to bask in the wanton whimpers that were caused by her.
"How badly do you want this?" Sonya asked her, bringing her red optic to Jennifer's pleading blue eyes, "How desperate are you to want to be undone by a terrible beast like me? Say it..."
Those two husky, imploring, eager words made Jennifer shiver, feeling hotter. Through the haze, she rasped out with a sense of urgent need she's never spoken in before, "I can think of no one else who can satisfy me like you..."
Though caught off-guard, Sonya was not unsatisfied with the answer. She absorbed those words into the very core of her mind, sparking a renewed sense of determination.
"Well then," the beastie said, Jennifer's words lingering on the precipices of her audio receptors, feeling her "heart" pump faster, "I think you've endured enough teasing. You deserve this for being such a good, patient girl."
Jennifer shrieked in surprise when the vibrating rattles were buried against her slick folds and sensitive clit. However, when the initial shock wore off, it was replaced with an alluring moan, followed by a symphony of gasps, the short bursts of pleased shouts, and the sweet curses that she managed through her panting. She closed her eyes and started to arch her back again, and this time Sonya adjusted her tails grip to accommodate Jennifer's position.
It wouldn't be long until she was finished. Though Sonya decided to speed up the process by taking advantage of one of Jennifer's weaknesses; her voice.
"You should see yourself," Sonya husked out, her voice thick with lust, "How fucking enrapturing you are right now. Above here, bound by me, fucked by me, you look like a goddess. Oh, your little noises make it so tempting to ravish your flesh and pussy so I can make you scream louder."
Jennifer failed to suppress the whiny, pathetic whimper with a tender lip bite, and Sonya snickered at the reaction.
"Oh, but it's true," Sonya responded, the quills along her back standing up, elated by such noises as she continued, "Though I never realized how restraining you like this could bring out even more beautiful noises from you. I could just have you like this whenever you're being so bratty. Rip that dress off. Bind your limbs. Tease your wet cunt, edging it as you rut like a bitch in heat chasing after that final release. But it'll never come. More accurately, you'll never cum."
The image of Jennifer on her knees in this bedroom, writhing in the restraints of Sonya's tail, desperately begging her to end the torment, brought a familiar sense of sadism into her system. However, she did feel an odd sensation of heat rise in her body.
She returned back to the assignment at hand, the heat radiating at the back of her mind as she hummed and said, "Oh can you envision it, Jennifer? How much of a writhing, filthy mess you'd be? You'd be left unsatisfied, without release. Not unless you crawled onto your knees and begged so pitifully. Maybe alone. Maybe not. But tell me, if you were to do that, should I give in and fuck you like I do now?"
A resounding and gasping "YES" was Jennifer's response as her hips jutted at the rattles faster. So close now...
"Such an enthusiastic answer. You must be so close now," Sonya noted, not noticing her own jaw gaping open as her red optic recorded Jennifer's unravelling, "You've taken me so well this far. Letting me taste you, ruin you. So strong and resilient. With the most perfect body just for me. You do these filthy activities so impressively, as a naughty girl like you should. Oh, I love the way your flesh bruises and reddens and scars from me. I love the taste of your tears, of your sweat and of your juices. And I love how loud I make you scream and cry and moan. Especially when the only word coming out of your mouth is my name. Makes me fantasize doing it all in front of everyone. What say you? Perhaps on a live hologram broadcast during a Beastie tournament? In the storage unit for all the passing guards and personnel to listen to? Or maybe in a meeting with those morons who dare to ogle you-?"
Sonya was interrupted by an abrupt and approving moan, which slipped into a pleased humming smile from Jennifer.
"Oh? You like that idea? Is that what you want?" Sonya inquired with an endeared curiosity, surprised by the quick nod that followed, "Does it turn you on? At the thought of me fucking you in front of those leering senile men? My, my. What a dirty little slut you are, wanting to be humiliated by me so desperately that you would want those old fucks to see how good I make you feel. Or perhaps it because you want to show them that you're mine. For me, and me alone. No one else. Maybe in one of your next meetings, I'll accompany you. And whenever you go to speak, I'll be behind you, my long, flexible and magnificent tongue lapping at the nape of your neck, nibbling at the flesh with teasing little bites, my claws digging at your glimmering dress. One tail snaking under your skirt. Maybe I'll leave small cuts in passing, letting that lovely crimson run down those fine legs of yours. But once that tail reaches its destination, I'll let the vibrations tease your wet cunt until your legs begin to wobble."
"I'll tear open the front of your dress, let those ravishing tits of yours breathe within a room where they've been dreamed about for so long, except the only one having any fun with them there will be me," Sonya had a tail squeeze promisingly around one of Jennifer's tits as emphasis, "I'll have another tail play with one while my tongue lavishes the other. Don't worry, I'll have my last tail free to ensure none of them stop us, and no one leaves, bound by their pathetic fear. I'll rip your dress off, exposing your body to them all, let them see how dripping fucking wet you are for me, and I'll pick you up, bring you to the table, splayed out like a feast ready to be dined. But only for one though."
She pressed her closed jaw to whisper, "None of them will touch you. We'll show them how well you take me. How beautiful you sing my name. How much you enjoy being fucked dirty by me, and how good of a naughty girl you are to me. Show them you find more pleasure whoring yourself to a beastie than being touched by any of their limp dicks. Reveal your deadliness to them, unleash your claws and mark my metal with your scratches as I leave my own marks along your beautiful body. I bet their hearts would give out at the sight. I don't think their weak pride could take it. The fact you'd cum to a- disgu- terrible monst- beast like me, wouldn't you agree, my sexy- gorgeous- beautif- fucking - goddes- belov- m-!"
Everything was so unbearably hot. Her mind seemed to be on some kind of fritz, just like her voice box. Diagnostics on the system returned with nothing of issue, nor of any errors.
And yet Sonya felt so unbelievably strained from the task at hand. As if exhaustion of all things was overcoming her body as she continued to bring Jennifer closer to her release.
And her voice box. She didn't understand what was wrong with it. It bugged out, replacing words she wanted to say with those she'd never in her life say to Jennifer. But most importantly...
Was that my voice? Not her current voice, the one she was forced to adopt, but the one that Malvolio stole from her.
It didn't matter much, focusing on it was too much of a strain while she was fucking Jennifer at the same time. She refocused her efforts in bringing her mistress over the edge.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait long.
Her words, in combination to the unrelenting rattles fucking her pussy and fondling her breasts, had culminated in Jennifer arching her back more while screaming out Sonya's name, accompanied by the gushing squirts onto the Apex's tail.
Witnessing the result, Sonya swiftly stopped the rattles and brought Jennifer down to the bed safely. She managed to lay the woman down onto her front before her usually durable limbs failed her. She caught herself from laying on top of Jennifer, and carefully positioned herself to lay down by Jennifer's left.
Both beastie and mistress heaved for air, the activity exhausting for both parties involved, much to Sonya's bafflement.
They laid beside each other, just for the moment, to catch their breath.
Jennifer opened her blue eyes to just gaze at the Apex, eyes taking in Sonya's strangely exhausted form. She brushed a strand of her now messy and sweaty blonde hair aside, let out a little laugh, and said, "That was... amazing."
Sonya grunted in agreement, unable to currently verbalize. She did use enough strength to bring the tipped middle tail to her view, the rattles and the curved blade under it glimmering in Jennifer's juices, not dissimilar to the woman's dress.
She opened her jaw to bring her tongue out, cleaning up the slick fluids. She rumbled approvingly at the sweetly sour taste.
Her audio receptors picked up on the soft sound of a slick pussy being gently stroked. Sonya looked over to see Jennifer still staring at her but with a newfound hunger. Sonya noticed that her ass was slightly bent up, with one of her hands massaging her cunt.
"You look so hot when you do that," she husked out, and Sonya felt her exhaustion dissipate when Jennifer asked, "Do you want to put that tongue to better use?"
Sonya tilted her head, her lens focusing on Jennifer's face, "Round two? Now?"
"Don't you remember what we agreed on? "Until my mind goes blank", "until I forget my own name" and "can't remember my troubles in the morning"," Jennifer recalled, and in that sultry mocking tone of hers, "Or are you tapping out after round one?"
A new edge burned within Sonya, and she leaned up, looking down at Jennifer's nude body, asking, "Is that a challenge?"
Jennifer though playfully shrugged, spreading her legs wider as she continued stroking herself with hushed breathy moans.
Sonya took the opportunity to place her right hand over on the other side of Jennifer, until she was above the woman. She retracted until she was staring at both her mistress' sexy ass and her glistened pussy.
Blue eyes glanced to Sonya's observing form, and removed her slick-covered hand, caressing it on one of her ass cheeks before giving it a smack to entice the beastie, as she returned her hand to under her chin.
Sonya let out an amused chuckle as she took out her tongue. However, she pressed it from her mistress' tail bone all the way up her spine, the heat and wetness of the elongated and rough bio-mechanical muscle causing Jennifer to gasp and shiver from its texture.
Sonya lowered herself so she was right on top of her mistress, her gaping jaw releasing a soft exhale of hot steam brush at the woman's ear.
"You're not going to make it to any meetings tomorrow," Sonya informed her mistress.
Jennifer only smirked at her words, not returning a reply as she got comfortable. The beastie retracted back to where her mistress needed her the most.
Though unnecessary, Sonya couldn't help but lick around her mouth as she prepared to satiate her hunger, as well as Jennifer's.
[A/n] And from there on, Jennifer decided bondage was an excellent excuse to get out of a meeting she didn't want to attend the next day.
I wanna say that I may have gone a bit overboard, but overboard is just in-character for them (at least in my series).
#series: life despair & monsters#fic: the tails that bind#love death + robots#sonnie's edge#kinktober 2024#oc: sonya#ld+r sonnie#ldr sonnie#ld+r jennifer#ldr jennifer#otp: femme fatale and the apex#as stated before I'm not the biggest smut writer as I prefer more plot and lore stuff#so my motivation regarding smut often fluctuates inconsistently while i vibe better with plot heavy stories#although i did try my best to fit in at least a little bit about their characters and a tiny mention towards their main plot#this is like an in-between scene for them.#canon or non-canon? doesn't really matter given the context of all my series.#here's me writing about a ship that is non-existent on ao3 and fanfic.net and even wattpad#like i've only found one fic that actually pairs these two from their source material of these two#you'd expect the toxic yuri writers to be writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of these two but NO instead i find sonnie paired with male ocs#even though in the show sonnie's only shown interest in one woman and kissed one woman and was going to fuck one woman too.#that being jennifer... before she stabbed sonnie through the skull that is (she lived but jennifer and dicko don't)#i tried to at least include some of my main series' themes into this oneshot.#most specifically something i expand upon from the source material: that being “the violation of the human body”#(which more often than not focused on women's bodies which isn't something i want to ignore even if i want to explore men's own too)#like fuck dicko in my series specifically and in the source material#but sir enigma malvolio is the definition of “i'm going to mutilate you so fucking traumatically and i expect you to thank me”#malvolio may not violate people sexually (something both jennifer and sonya have experienced) but he will change their bodies irreversibly#which is just as bad as sonya is now a mass of bio-cybernetics made to fight and jennifer is one clone of a dead girl dicko had pimped out.#anyway when dicko and malvolio are no longer in control of jennifer and sonya respectively (one 6ft under & the other gets out of dodge)#and since jennifer wants control of her life while sonya wants to be of use there is a constant power imbalance that shifts between them.
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*stumbles out of google docs covered in blood and with very heavy bags under my eyes* I wrote a third of this fic today
But anyway!! Finally, almost an entire month later, here is the third and final part of the birthday gifts I had planned for my dear, dear @katkastrofa!! A backstory fic for one of the OCs we created this year – Aiza/Emran, Zaheer’s genderfluid-pansexual-runaway-bride-turned-Air-Acolyte-turned-airbender sibling (I have art of them a little further back on my art blog, if you’re curious). Of course, at the point this fic takes place in, she is none of those things and is simply one of his older sisters, but it’s alright, just give her time :D
If you’re up for a very long original character study that is only very, VERY tangentially related to canon and honestly can be taken out of the Avatarverse with 0 losses, then kudos and comments are very much appreciated :) And I promise this fic is much more interesting than what I describe, it’s just 6 a.m and I’m beyond tired 😅 The hooks are all in the Ao3 description anyway, why repeat myself?
Moving on, once again, happy belated birthday, Kat. May this fic come as a comfort to you in whatever way you need <3
(And for the record, over half of it is not proofread At. All. because I am tired but still wanted to get it posted today. I will go back and make edits later, I promise)
#this is the longest single chapter I have ever written. ever#it’s longer than chapter 3 of AIDIB#hell. it’s longer than some of Kat’s fics for me#originally I thought I’d be lucky if I hit 7k. then I was sure it’d be a tenner. look at it now#anyway. no energy left for tag rambles. gotta sleep#I hope anyone who stumbles upon this enjoys it :)#most of all. my best friend#my writing#fanfiction#the legend of korra#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#original characters#zaheer#technically only mentioned but he is haunting the narrative so.. he gets a tag
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the desire to write smth so good that’s just. aching but in the best way? smth that lingers long past reading. smth that makes you get up in the middle to pace around before sitting back down to pick it up again because the emotions are reeling.
so you start to type only to realise that’s one biiiiig skill gap 🫠
#story of my LIFE#everyday i think about this#i want the next col fic to be really good 🥲#or at least one of the longer ones i have lined up but i know it’ll be the most painstaking process ever#and idk if i can even do it aksnkzkdjxn#its like i have a vision of how i want it to feel but dk how to get there#this also applies to everyth else#was just talking to my bf earlier abt smth im designing and how itll probs be a pain to code#and he was like ‘just try and do it bc if u’re going to be scared all the time you’ll never know’#and it’s blunt and it didn’t sound good to hear but he’s Real for that and i guess that’s why i Love him 🥲#anyway. gonna write this megumi fic now. ive been grumbling abt it for so long i want this to be the last time i talk abt it#i talked so much again
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the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub
#life is ridiculous and I'm its biggest clown#in my defense it's not even 9 am and I woke up at 6 for some reason (the reason prob being that I start work at 6 atm)#so I chose (violence) reading Stray Gods fic in bed for a few hours followed by the need to just vibe in the bathtub#I've only just had my coffee and a slice of cold pizza leftover from yesterday and it's such a uni-days thing to do#I've kinda missed it. tho I wasn't drinking coffee back then (how the fuck did I survive mornings without it??)#anyway. feeling very soft and tender abt my past self today. I miss her even if she was just as much of a mess. in different ways#the kind of mess who would openly flirt with some strange dude she didn't really know over the phone#the kind of mess who moved across the country just for a chance at trying with sb she liked who really never wanted to date her#the kind of mess who's always fallen for her best friends and who'll likely never stop#the kind of mess who feel so damn hard for a woman 15 yrs older than her just bc she was kind and sweet and a mess herself#the kind of mess who moved in with a friend she was solidly in love with for a bit who had her boyfriend over most nights#just.. it's not all about those feelings but they're decidedly a big part of why I've ever done anything#and I will prob always miss the friend who'd lie on the train platform with me just giggling into the night as ppl walked past#her head on my stomach and me just feeling so high it felt like I'd never stop floating (just for a while though)#I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that Mi miss just letting my feelings take me places even at the risk of losing it all#I'm so much more hesitant and guarded now. and sure part of it is being medicated for my bipolar. it's good that I don't call strangers#and almost invited them over. or that I no longer walk barefoot through the city at night by myself (usually)#but I do miss just idk. intimacy I guess. and how easily it used to come to me to just try and be open abt wanting it I guess#oh well. best be getting out of the bathtub. it's not a good place to be with these thoughts. and it's too early for this anyway#a day in the life of..
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i kinda think part of why people treat donnie as less caring than he is is like. sometimes not knowing when he's joking? like that time he threatens to be "semi-lethal" when splinter's in the truck with meat sweats. like i'm sure most of you knew he was joking but like. do some of you realise he like, would not have done that? like remember how he was sad? when splinter actually got hurt? same with leo in the movie? and all of them at every other time?
like he's self proclaimed funniest. and also a mad scientist aesthetic doesn't make a character a villain by itself it's what you actually do with that (yes he has done bad things within that area (haunted stare towards mind meld) but you have to admit he like. did fix those. and feel bad and hopefully learn his lesson but hey that's another analysis)
i have mixed feelings on villain donnie stuff, as an example, because like. ANY character put in a situation where they lose their way is really fun and if in character is really interesting as to what could cause that.
but when it's treated as like. inevitable. who he is, or phrasing his brothers are the only thing stopping him being evil. it's like hm. ugh. kind of hurts a bit actually but that's probably because i relate to him ghfdjk
like the seen in snow day with the tech bo chainsaw like. all he really DOES is cut a snowman there but he's just like. leaning into being "evil" with the chainsaw but like he's just being silly with it. acting like that's proof of anything is wild to me, without any other data points.
also kind of separate but i think there's a dissonance between what is like. seen as evil? between me and like most people lol. like the scene in the movie as well with like "finally, man and machine, entwixt in perfect bionic synergy" someone i watched it with was like "haha evil moment" or whatever where i was just like. yeah real that would be rad as hell. honestly gender also.
not saying he's never done anything wrong but i am saying he immediately tries to fix all of those things
anyway he does have a really interesting relationship with morals in my eyes but like, at his core he really cares about people, you know?
this isn't hate to anyone btw i just care about donnie a lot as a character and as really layered autistic representation
#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#donnie analysis#making that a tag now because i know what i'm like#rottmnt analysis#i can write so much about donnie. idk if it's good. or accurate. but i can write it#unrelated but it's so funny when people say donnie's cishet or homophobic even (the latter as a joke but. not my type of humor personally)#and then say he's villain coded. like lol. i laugh. i know it's probably different sets of people for the most part but yeah#especially if they compare him to megamind specifically. like okay#megamind famous bisexual neurodivergent and you know. no longer even a villain at the end#like i'm not saying you're wrong i'm saying that it's actually more than just surface level theater kid stuff there (that too though)#like donnie has people who care about him from the start. they're not “keeping him in check” (yikes?) they're caring about him. nuance#but yeah like. genuinely i think it's interesting how he's seen as villain-coded#like i know villains and queer-coding is a known thing but i'm just wondering. is that also a thing with autistic-coding#or do people just naturally not get autistic people in real life and find them scary and that just carries across in responses to fiction#idk#donnie villain fic where he sees how he's perceived anyway by fanon and just gives up on being good#joke but i guess you can steal that just write it well if you do. for me. idk if it'd even be a villain concept really there#he'd probably just be like. sad. and try even harder to be good.#also what about mikey villain fics huh. there's literally a cut episode that would be so fun to play with#anyway feedback appreciated#this was so train of thought i'm sure some of it's unclear
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I want to make it very clear that I do not have writers block, the only reason I haven’t finished that Aoinene fic yet is bcuz I’m lazy af. And because my sister keeps asking to hang out every time I sit down to work on it and I can’t break the sacred bond of sibling time🍎
#i figured a bit of self public shaming would give me motivation#it’s at like 10k now so i have been working on it#just not as much as i would like to be#like i wanted to have it finished last week and here we are#maybe i’m being too hard on myself idk 10k is already longer than most of my fics#we still have a long way to go but for a fic that’s a bit longer I’m actually surprised i’ve gotten that much done so fast#every time i post that i’ve been working hard or plan to write a lot i suddenly get writers block#it’s like a curse#so i’m hoping this post will benefit me in a reverse psychology way#the apple emoji is an easter egg btw#my new favorite thing is promoting my fics like i’m taylor swift herself#gives me a bit of an ego boost#but really i just do it bcuz i’m silly#this is the second time i’ve used apple symbolism in a nene ship fic have i run out of ideas or smth???#it’s slightly different this time tho i swear#ya’ll are gonna love it#aoinene#flower fish#yashikane#nene yashiro#aoi akane#archive of our own#ao3#ao3 writer#writing#fan fiction#fanfic#i need to eat
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