#but most importantly LOOK AT OUR BOY GO not only did he say fuck ur shit songs colonel im gonna play the music i wanna play

[lllsaslll]

Today's lil' Elvis Music Gem🙏

Yes, again with more Back In Memphis! But this time we've got "And the Grass Won't Pay No Mind" and the interesting Neil Diamond-filled story of the famed American Sound Studio sessions.

In 1969 just the day after his Elvis' 34th birthday when Elvis was planning his return to music recording, Marty Lacker successfuly convinced Elvis to skip on Nashville and to instead give Chips Moman and his Memphis-based American Sound Studio a chance. When Elvis agreed (without even consulting the Colonel first) but with a tight turn around, Moman had to reschedule the recording sessions of Neil Diamond that had already been set just four days out. "Fuck Neil Diamond, he'll just have to be postponed. Tell Elvis he's on." Moman told Lacker as he called from the front hall phone at Graceland.

Soon after, during a break in recording due to Elvis' cold turning to laryngitis, Elvis and the guys were going through the demos back at Graceland. When realizing the selection of songs being brought in by the Colonel were aweful Elvis made an important declaration; that from then on he would pick his own music. He asked that everyone be bringing in songs, "... from now on I want to hear every song I can get my hands on, and if I've got a piece of the publishing, that's fine, but if I don't and I want to do the song, I'm going to do it."

And the boys got to work, bringing in new music for Elvis to sample beyond the usual songs that the Colonel had special interests in. George Klein having connections with artists through his TV show then immediately got on the phone with Neil Diamond. He may have been kicked from his original recording slot, but Elvis' prior L.A. next-door neighbor agreed to him singing "And the Grass Won't Pay No Mind" when the sessions resumed in late January and February.

[bakugohoex]

Can I request general relationship hcs with kuroo? Thanks!

“you’re all mine, kitten”

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x female reader

cw: fluff, implied NSFW, kissing 

word count: 2100+

a/n: kuroo is smol and is a baby who i love, but we all want him to rail us um chile anyways so-

summary: in which you’re in a relationship with kuroo

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Big dick energy, that’s all I’m saying BIG DICK ENERGY

Not only is this baby packing but he just a cocky science nerd who will send you science jokes and memes every hour of the day

Your whole Instagram dms are just the same meme in different fonts

His hair is soft but just knotty, you spend half an hour unknotting it because you know he would not care

He got other priorities he only lets you do it because he sits between your thighs

Will call you kitten and will have you saved as kitten on his phone

He’ll wait for you after every class to take to your next, he feels bad about you waiting after volleyball practice so this is him making it up to you

You both end up going to Kenma’s at night because you see his light on and make him go to sleep

Kenma hates how it’s become having two parents now

Baby will squish your face in every photo you have together, if his hands aren’t on your face it’ll be on your body

He smacks your ass in public this man has no chill

He’ll make you study with him just to spend more time with each other

Would do that Tiktok with you where he wears a maid outfit and you sit between his thighs, comments be thirsty for our maid boy and you’d simp even more for him

Whenever you make food you have to make extra because he pouts if he doesn’t get any of it

He does the obnoxious laugh where he holds his stomach when you act snarky with his team

He in love with you

Can’t lie will ask to fuck anywhere, will literally text a cute paragraph being like ‘good morning good luck for your test kitten *heart eyes*’ and then 20 minutes later send ‘I found an empty classroom, quickie?’

This man has no chill, but you’ll accept cause its Kuroo

He’d make you be Nekoma’s manager which means you become a parent to the whole team

Couch Nekomata doesn’t mind because you control them all and he loves how you make the team and Kuroo specifically work harder

When he blocks a ball, you know his ass would look straight to you to make sure you watched, you’d always cheer him on though because he’d get sad and do a Bokuto which is what nobody needs

You get made to come to the training camp and he gets way to protective over you because this is the first time you’ve met everybody properly

He’s wary of Karasuno and even Bokuto (even though you and Bokuto were already friends)

He protec, he attac but most importantly he loves your ass

“You’re staying by my side for the whole week, okay?” His arms were wrapped around your waist as his chest was behind your back, you stared up at his neck and jaw, laughing at the comment, “it’s not funny, Y/n, you’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread hotness everywhere”

He had started to pout as you face him, Karasuno’s bus arriving shortly, the rest of the schools had already arrived and when Bokuto had given you a hug from not seeing you in a while, Kuroo was pouting like a lost puppy. He had decided that from then on you would be attached to him and if you weren’t he wouldn’t rest till you were near him or in his eyesight,

“You’re being jealous Tetsu,” you had moved to see his face properly his arms still around your waist, as his hold on you was gently but possessive.

“But they might spend more time with you.” He mutters out.

“Kuro leave Y/n-chan alone.” Kenma spoke as the bus came through the gates.

You smiled shaking your head at Kenma who had looked up from his game, “thank you Kenma”

Kuroo didn’t reply instead holding onto your waist as his body shifted to suit the height difference, as much as you loved Kuroo, his love for you had no bounds and the lack of attention you had been giving him was neither yours fault it was just a perk of being manager.

“Daichi.” You smiled out having met him weeks prior, Kuroo’s hand still around your waist as you both walked towards the team.

“Y/n-chan.” The small orange haired boy shouted as he ran up to you both, “I can’t wait to play, I’ve been practicing, are you going to be watching?”

“I’ll try and watch your games Hinata” You smile as the boy was a ball of energy going to pester Kenma as you see Lev start to make fun of him for his height. “Lev don’t be mean.”

You had scolded Lev a lot but in your heart you knew he would turn out to become an amazing player if he kept up all the work he was doing, “sorry y/n-chan.”

You shock your head laughing as Kuroo had started talking to Daichi and Sugawara, his hand still placed on your waist, “how was the trip?” You asked Sugawara, his gentle features inviting anyone to talk to him.

“It was really long, Couch Ukai doesn’t even let us take breaks.” Sugawara smiled out as everybody had started to move inside.

“That’s old couches for you, Couch Nekomata makes me carry the boy’s sweaty vests from games, the smell and feeling I get makes me want to puke.” Kuroo’s arm had left your waist not realising as you walked inside with Sugawara.

“That sounds gross, I would actually hate that so much, you’re going to have so much fun carrying more vests this week at least.”

“Ha ha very funny.” You laugh as Kuroo and Daichi had stopped talking to each other and Kuroo was trying to spot your y/h/c but to no avail he couldn’t find you. 

You and Sugawara had gone your separate ways as he had gone to get ready for the games, not noticing Kuroo had been looking for you, you went back to the gym, where the games were about to begin. “Y/nnnn” You heard the tall grey-haired boy speak.

“Yes Lev.” You said turning around to meet him.

“Yaku hit me in my back.” He said sadly.

You rolled your eyes at him, “did you make fun of his height again?”

Lev stayed silent as he dragged him along to Yaku, “apologise Lev.”

He listens not wanting to be scolded by you, Kuroo had walked in watching as you made the two of them talk again, not wanting anything to ruin the training camp, you went over to tell Kiyoko and Yachi what would happen and where everything was before going up to Bokuto.

“You’ll do good today.” You smile as you knew Akaashi didn’t want to see sad Bokuto at all.

“So, when do I get my praise Kitten.” Kuroo whispered in your ear as you stood to the side.

You rolled your eyes turning to face him, “did I forgot to give my big strong baby some encouragement.”

You teased him as he brought you closer to his body, “yeah you did kitten, you owe me one now.”

“Kuroo get off of Y/n” Couch Nekomata shouted as the games were about to start. You laugh watching as he huffed letting you go.

“You’ll do amazing Tetsu.” You cheered as he went to start the game.

You had had enough time to have many breaks and when you did you were running around passing towels and water bottles to the team rather talus worrying about giving Kuroo attention. You knew he missed it and after the games were done you would give him as much as you could. You had just finished giving the bottles out as you saw Yachi holding a box of water bottles that looked like they were about to fall, you quickly ran towards her catching them just as her hands were about to slip.

“Y/n are you okay?” Yachi said scared at what had occurred, Kuroo had rushed over to see if anything was wrong, even though you were fine.

“I’m fine Tetsu.” You laugh as he looked at your fingers, Yachi taking the box back, he saw the red colouring of your hands,

“Let me kiss it better at least.” You laughed as you let him do what he wanted too, kissing each finger tip before leaving a trail on the reddening mark.

“You’re such a simp Kuroo.”

“Your simp at least.” He laughed as the games began again.

Small intimate moments would always hold a place in your heart, you loved Kuroo’s soft side and even then his normal funny humorous side still made your heart beat as well. He was the love of your life and he proved to you that he was always there for you.

The games had finally finished as every team moved on to do some training or other things, Kuroo making you come with him, Akaashi and Bokuto, well that’s what he wanted to happen.

“Y/n can I ask you something before you go?” You nod at Daichi as you let go of Kuroo’s hands.

“Ill meet you there.” You pecked his cheek before walking in Daichi’s direction, Kuroo’s cat eyes observed what would play out.

Daichi hadn’t really asked for a lot, he wanted to know if you could get a copy of how many games each team had won and lost at the end of the week, “I’d ask Kiyoko but she’s already keeping a watch on points scored and teaching Yachi the ropes.”

“Daichi don’t worry about it, I have to make one for Nekoma anyway and I was going to offer it to all the teams, so I’ll gladly give you it at the end of the day.” You smile as you laugh at how Daichi had needed to ask to gain such a trivial thing.

“Oh also, thank you for saving Yachi and our water bottles.” He smiles out.

You pat his shoulder laughing again, “don’t worry about it, couldn’t get your new manager hurt now could I.”

He laughs a yeah as you both go your separate ways, as you walk out of the first gym towards were Kuroo and the rest of them would be, you felt someone grab your wrist as they pulled you to hit the wall outside the gym.

“Kitten it seemed you and our rival were getting close.” Kuroo whispered in your ear, you could recognise his voice anywhere, one hand on the wall as the other came up to touch your face, slowly caressing it.

“He just wanted to thank me for saving Yachi.” Your breath becoming heavier, you hated to admit it but you loved this side of Kuroo, it made you feel alive and needed as if Kuroo loved every fibre of you enough to care about as much as he did.

Kuroo moved his head closer not wasting to reply, his lips fell onto yours, having to bend down to reach your height, your hands grabbed his collar, as ur hand rested on his collar and the other in his dishevelled hair. He smirked knowing how needy you were for him, how much you wanted his body pressed against you, his body pushing you onto the wall. His hand moved from your face to your waist making sure to bring your body closer to him.

The kiss deepened as his tongue moved inside of your own, you wanted to feel more of him but knew you had to wait till the week was over, you knew he’d try to ask throughout for quickies anywhere that had a lock but you wanted to be able to moan his name out loud and clear without having to be quiet.

A soft moan escaped your lips as his rough hand held onto your waist tighter to bring you even closer to his body, his touch sending electric shocks through your body at how hungry and satisfying the kiss was.

“Oi Kuroo you better not be groping Y/n, we have to practice.” Bokuto was shouting as he started to walk outside.

Kuroo finally let go, as the saliva and spit broke free from each other’s mouths, he smirked wiping his mouth before bringing his thumb and wiping your own, “you’re so needy kitten, do you want more?”

You pout knowing he was teasing you as you nod your head, “now remember,” he paused as he admired your dishevelled look, “you’re all mine, kitten.”

You nodded as you did want more but saw the tips of owl boy come closer and closer, “we’ll finish this later.” Is all Kuroo said as he took your hand dragging it towards the confused Bokuto.

You knew that you weren’t going to last the week without Kuroo on you or more specifically in you, but you’d be patient or even yet maybe you would let him have a quickie in a classroom somewhere.

If you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and I’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13

[parkaiur]

Snowy Days - Jihoon

❀ genre: college life + romance + a dash of angst 

❀ word count: 5491

❀ a/n: just read the tags below but if ur too lazy to basically: don’t expect lots of updates and i just wrote this as a form of therapy for me. i guess i missed writing and needed to rant /shrugs/ 

also this title sucks but idk what to do with it either LMAO 

❀ ❀ ❀

It was a quiet, winter evening; the snow was gently falling outside and the laughter of college students filled the dorm hallways. 

I, on the other hand, was curled up in a ball on my bed, reading a book. The soft sounds of my hand turning the pages lulled me in a dreamland of swoon-worthy boys. 

Suddenly, I heard a loud bang. 

I flinched and jumped up on my bed to see what had dropped. 

“Sorry! Just dropped my pan, how’s it going?” I sighed thankfully, realizing it was just my roommate, Naeun. Naeun was a freshman like me; we hadn’t talked much before rooming together. We got along most of the time, but being around people just irked me sometimes.

I pointed at the book, trying to hide the girlish daze in my eyes. 

“Just reading, like usual.” I kept my words short, hoping she would get the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. It wasn’t like I was mad at her or anything, but I need my breaks with all the socialness of college. I don’t think people understand how tiring it is for introverts to have to be “on” all the time; “on” meaning social. 

She nodded. “What book?” 

“It’s called ‘Win Some, Lose Some’ by Shay Savage. It’s a really amazing novel about a boy who was Autism and a girl who ...” I trailed off when I realized she had her back towards me. The sound of her pots and pans flying into her drawer was distracting. “A girl who befriends him basically. How was your day?” I asked politely. 

I braced myself for her long winded answer. Most people just say “good” or “it was pretty alright” but not Naeun, she pops off and talks about things no one really needs to know, and no one really cares. 

“It was okay. I saw one of my friends on campus and I waved to her because it’s so weird, right? Seeing people you know on such a large campus. And then I walked to English and my professor was just such in a good mood today, she’s so nice, I love her.” 

I smiled carefully, hoping she doesn’t realize how much I do not care about who she waves at or how her professor looks. 

“Then, I went to the library and did some of my math homework and I got started on the next chapter. And then I started to do my English homework which I got kind of stumped on. Anyway, all I could think about is this big burrito when I was studying.” She took out two large burritos and plopped them on a blue plate. 

I nodded and told her I was going to go back to my book. She nodded and right as I was about to plug in my earbuds to drown out her voice while I read, she stopped me with her voice.

“Hey, I’m bored, do you think Ahyoung and Somi are busy?” I took out my earbuds once more and shrugged. 

“Probably not.” 

“Hm. Is it cool if I invite them over? I mean, you don’t have to say yes if you just want to be alone, I know how you get like that.” 

I forced an awkward smile. “Um, I actually want to just chill and be alone, but you can always go to their rooms... they live in the same building.” I tried not to let my annoyance show in my voice, but it was rising. 

She furrowed her brows and sighed. “Yeah, but they’re so far...” She whined. 

Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes. 

“I mean, they always come to our dorm, maybe go to them today?” I really didn’t care what she did, I just wanted to be alone. 

I turned on my music and opened my book so I didn’t have to hear her complain. She went back on her phone and I was content reading in peace. 

Five minutes later, I heard loud knocking on the door. 

What? She did not just...

“Oh, hey, Ahyoung! How’s it going?” 

No way, she did not just invite people over after I told her not to. 

I felt my blood boil, but I tried to keep my calm. I was not going to make a scene, especially since Ahyoung was my friend. 

I locked eyes with Naeun, who I visibly glared at. 

“It’s chill, y/n, you don’t have to talk we are just gonna hang a bit and then go watch some TV.” 

I bit my tongue to not snap at her. Her insensitivity was rubbing me the wrong way, but I didn’t want to blow up. We were all adults here, I didn’t want to seem like a child who got irritated when they were forced to socialize with their mom’s friends. 

Soon, I heard another knock. 

“Hey, Sooyoung! Come in, we are picking a show to watch.” 

I tried to calm down and read my book, but when I say I want to be alone, I really mean I want to be alone. 

I felt myself boil over in anger as I could still hear them over my earbuds. Their laughter and constant chatter couldn’t be tuned out. 

“Ok, we are gonna go to the lounge and watch TV. High five!” Naeun held her hand right in front of my face and I hit it just to make her leave. I swear, I’d rather hit her face instead. 

As soon as I heard the door slam shut, I pulled out my earbuds and went to rinse my face. 

How insensitive of her! I explicitly told her not to invite anyone over to the dorm, and there she goes. She can’t walk up one flight of stairs to see our friends?? So fucking rude. 

Living in the dorms as an introverted person was terribly hard. I don’t even know if introverted is the right word for it anymore if I want to go days without talking to people. And it sucks when no one truly understands me and doesn’t take my words seriously. 

I groaned and stared at myself in the mirror.

“Just two more quarters and you’re free for the summer.” 

I sighed and wiped my face on my towel. 

College was hard. 

I had found my group in college, but unfortunately, I had made the same mistakes as I did in high school. First, I stayed connected with some friends from high school who I had planned on cutting off. And most importantly, I put too much time and effort into people who disrespect me and don’t care for me. 

And now I live with someone like that. 

It angered me to feel so out of place, so alone in the dorms even when I had friends. Whenever I wanted to escape, there was no where to go. All my friends were here. 

I clenched my fist. 

All of a sudden, I couldn’t just sit down and read. I glanced over in the corner of the room and saw the camera from my photography class sitting there. 

I looked outside my window and saw the soft snow falling down. 

I quickly pulled on a warm, puffy jacket, jeans, and headed out to take some photos with my trustworthy camera. 

-----

The air was colder than I remembered. I felt my nose crinkle as the wind blew snow into my nose. 

The city was beautiful; it was painted in white sparkles. I snapped a few photos and took a deep breath. 

I loved being outside and having no one notice me; this was one of my favorite things about living in the city and college in general. I snapped pictures of groups of people walking across the street. The blur of the street lights combined with the softness of the snow captivated me. 

“Some nice pics you got there.” 

I jumped at the voice and almost dropped my camera; thankfully, it’s always wrapped around my neck.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d get so scared.” 

I looked up and saw a boy around my age staring at me. And dang, was he cute. 

I thanked God for the weather because my cheeks were already red. 

“Uh, um, it’s fine.” I fibbed quickly. I felt awkward because I didn’t know how to act around guys my age, especially ones as cute as him. 

Be friendly, be friendly. He just wants to be friends.

“Um, I’m y/n by the way.” I took out my hand to shake his. He chuckled and reciprocated the action.

“Jihoon, Park Jihoon. You live in this building too?” He pointed at the building next door to me. I shook my head and watched as the snow fell onto my shoulders.

“Oh no, I live in this one.” He nodded. “Are you a freshman?” I asked. 

He laughed heartily. I liked how he didn’t hide his emotions. “Oh no, I’m a sophomore this year but I’m an RA in this building.” 

I made an “O” shape with my mouth. “Ah, a resident adviser. I’m applying to be one next year, kinda nervous but hopefully I’ll get the job.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh really? I rarely meet people who want to baby a bunch of freshmen.” I laughed at his comment. “But hey, it’d be cool if we were in the same dorm next year. You could teach me to take such pretty pictures.” I laughed and flipped through the photos on my camera out of habit.

“Don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t even been accepted for the job yet. Also, I’m taking photography 101 with Professor Lee Miyoung, I’m sure she’s a better teacher than I am.” I teased. 

He shrugged. “Well, I doubt she’s as pretty as you.” 

My heart froze. 

W-what? Did he just flirt with me? Oh god, what do I say now? How do I flirt back? I-

“Sorry, was that weird? I wanted to call you pretty but I didn’t mean to lowkey talk about a professor’s beauty either.” He looked mildly embarrassed when he shook out his hair full of snow. 

I gave him a small smile. “Um, no, not weird, it was actually kind of smooth. I don’t really know how to respond to flirting.” 

Oh my god. I just said that. 

His eyes lit up mischievously as I tried not to blush even harder.

“Oh flirting? Is that what we are doing?” He teased.

“Technically, that’s what you are doing.” He laughed loudly and his voice echoed throughout the streets. I only hoped to have that loud of a voice as an RA. 

“You got me there.” He then looked down at his watch and frowned. 

“What’s wrong?”

He looked up at me with his soft brown puppy eyes. I swear this guy is too cute to be real. “Um, my shift is starting soon.” He then took out his phone. “I know we just met, but you seem pretty cool-”

Before he could finish, I took his phone and typed in my number.

“There, now you can teach me how to be an RA and I can teach you how to take photos.” I said as confidently as I could. 

He seemed a bit surprised at my voice, but nodded.

“Sounds great, see you later.” He waved to be as he walked away, but slipped on a patch of snow. 

“Ah, be careful!” I shouted. He gave me a small smile and walked back into his dorm.

Well, at least this day ended on a high note. 

-----

“Hey, where’d you go last night? We were wondering where you were at.” 

I’m an adult, I don’t have to tell you everywhere I go.

I bit back the words and forced a small smile. “Oh, I just went to take some photos for my photography class. The snow looked really pretty last night.” I left out the minor detail that a cute boy started to talk to me. I wanted to keep the giddiness to myself. 

“Oh cool. I just came back from the gym. I saw a really cute boy in there. He was really fit, dark skinned, dark hair. And he smiled at me and I smiled back. We didn’t get to talk because I was so out of breath, but I hope he’s at the gym again.” She went off without me asking her too. 

I understand that I’m being a bit tough on her, but she irritated me first by inviting people over when I told her not to. People always talk about communication in college, but sometimes people just don’t listen to you. 

“Cool, hope you see him again.” I said nicely. I have to put on a nice face with my roommates, as I don’t want to be in an awkward living situation. 

“Yeah... how was your day today?” 

-----

“And then she just invited you guys over, disregarding what I had just said before! Isn’t that rude?” I voiced to Ahyoung, my best friend. I’d known her before going to college, well, I’ve known her since we were 8. 

She looked a bit hesitant on what to say. 

I went on about the situation. “I’m not saying I hate seeing you guys, but you know how I get when I want to be alone. I...I just want to be alone and it makes me crazy when I see people. Plus, I told Naeun I wanted to chill out and be alone and then she just invites you guys over, without telling me?? I’m not crazy.” I ranted. 

Ahyoung sighed and took a sip of her coffee filled with milk and sugar. 

“I mean, she did say she was inviting us over in the groupchat.” 

I glared at the younger girl. “Excuse me, I was sitting right next to her, she knows I didn’t check my phone. It’s rude to not tell your roommate you’re inviting people over, and it’s even ruder when we just talked about how I didn’t want her to invite people over. It’s not like she forgot within the five minutes.” 

“True. That wasn’t nice of her.” I noticed she hesitated on saying anything bad about her. We were all friends, but I was the one who had problems with friends in the group, as usual. I didn’t like very many people, but I was civil and nice to everyone; that’s what being an adult is all about. 

“Yeah...” I trailed off. I don’t know when it got so weird between us, but it felt like I couldn’t talk to my best friend about things in my life. I didn’t even tell her about the cute guy who flirted with me. Deep inside of me, I knew she didn’t deserve to know these things about me when she didn’t want to hear the bad parts of my life. 

It felt like everyone wants to be around me when I’m laughing and joking, never when I’m serious and want to talk about my feelings. No one wants to listen when I want to rant about real things in life, yet they love when someone rants about some “dumb” thing a girl did in the hallway. 

I didn’t get why they judged people before they knew them. I always tried to talk with people before I made judgements, yet people think it’s weird when I judge people I talk to. That’s the way you’re supposed to judge people... when you get to know them personally. Duh.

As I was talking, I saw her eyes focused on something far away from me. 

I turned around and saw her crush standing there. She stopped listening to me as he waved at her. I saw her eyes bright up when she saw him and I grew annoyed. I was telling her about something that was bothering me, and then she chooses a boy over me. Not cool. 

“Hello? Earth to Ahyoung??” I teased. She shrugged me off. 

“He’s so cute. I know he doesn’t like me, but I can’t help myself.” 

I snorted. “Yeah, he doesn’t like you and actually, he only dates white girls and you my friend, are not white.” I knew I was being harsh, but I hear about him every single second and it angers me when I want to vent about something in my life and she doesn’t think I’m as important as her crush.

She flinched at my harsh words. 

“You just wouldn’t understand, you’ve never had a crush before. You’ve never been in love before.” She said matter of factly. 

Ouch. 

This was all true, but it hurt when she said it like that. I’ve never felt romantic love, wow, thanks for reminding me. Maybe I’m too busy taking care of my dumb friends who don’t care about me. 

Maybe.

-----

“Bye, see you later.” I waved her off as we both went to class.

As soon as I turned around, I saw a familiar face. 

Jihoon. 

I fixed my hair and prayed none of my mascara had smeared on my face. 

Be confident, make friends. 

“Hey, Jihoon.” He turned around with a confused look on his face. I felt a leap in my heart when he smiled at me.

“Oh hey y/n, it’s weird to see you without a camera.” He joked. 

I felt my heart skip a beat when he said my name; I was so used to people forgetting about me. 

“Hah, well it’s weird to see you in the daylight.” I joked. When I saw him left an eyebrow, I knew I said something wrong. 

I felt my face burn up at my own words. 

“Not like that.” I blubbered out. He let out a light laugh. 

“Well, I mean, you’re right.” He took note of my embarrassed state and changed the subject. “So, what class are you headed to?”

“History of the Ancient Greek and Roman worlds, how bout you?” 

“Woah, what an interesting class. I’m heading to choir practice actually.” That made me stop in my tracks.

“Wait, you sing?” 

He chuckled. “Yup, that is what you do in choir.” I felt a bit embarrassed at my statement. “I’m joking, I’m joking, but yes, I do sing. Have been doing so for my whole life.”

“I did choir up until high school, I didn’t feel good enough for college. I still don’t know how to read music and it’s been years.” 

“It’s hard, but you get used to it. You should give it a shot if you really want to though. Or come watch one of our performances.” I smiled at him.

“One day.” I stopped walking and pointed at the building in front of us. “This is me. I’ll see you later?” 

He nodded and smiled. 

“I’ll see you later.”

-----

Two weeks had passed and I hadn’t seen much of Jihoon. We waved to each other in passing, but it was midterms soon, and exams were the only thing on my mind. We sent each other memes daily though and we just got each other’s humor- that was rare. 

I was filling out my history study guide until I heard my roommate, Naeun, walk in.

“Hey, y/n~ Ahyoung, Sooyoung and I saw you talking to a boy yesterday~ Oooooooo what’s his name?” 

She sat right in front of me, not giving me any personal space. 

I tried not to blush but honestly, my face was turning red because I was so annoyed at her.

“His name is Jihoon. He’s an RA in the dorm next to us, we met at an RA informational meeting.” I lied. I didn’t want to tell her I ran out of the dorm because I couldn’t handle her and people.

“He’s cute, nice body too.” I felt a an overwhelming sense of jealously and protectiveness wash over me. I hated it. I didn’t want to be this person. I probably only felt this way because I didn’t like Naeun right now. 

“Yeah, you can have him if you want. I’m not into him.” I lied. 

She raised a brow. “Really? Don’t be upset if he falls for me then.” I knew she was joking when she flipped her hair dramatically, but I wasn’t into it. 

I felt my buried insecurities rise when I stared intensely at her face. Her eyebrows were neatly plucked, which I was always too scared to do. Her skin was tanned and even, not blotchy and red like mine. Her fashion was trendy and most boys liked her because of her socialness, on the contrary, I was awkward and mean to boys, unintentionally. 

I just went back to doing my homework, shaking off the comparison. 

-----

Later that night, I saw a message pop up in my texts which was weird because I usually mute everyone.

‘hey midterms are killing me and i dont understand anything... want ice cream?’ 

I tried not to laugh even though both my roommates were at the library. 

‘uhhh shouldnt u be studying if u dont understand anything?? mayb??’ 

‘LOL thats not how it works young padawan’ I rolled my eyes. He thinks he’s so much older than me. 

‘also I don’t eat ice cream, i don’t eat dairy’

‘... aight imma head out’ 

I snorted and tilted my head back in laughter. 

‘ok, no ice cream... what DO you like?’

You. I like you. 

... Definitely not sending that.

‘UMMM i like hot chocolate?’ 

‘okay, i’ll be at your dorm in 5. what is your room number again?’

‘303′ 

‘aight’ 

I looked down at short shorts and tank top and then at the harsh winds outside. I threw on a pair of cute leggings and a heavy sweater. I put on a black jacket over it and placed a beanie on my head. 

I did my brows and put on a few swipes of mascara. I carefully applied my lightly colored lip balm and sprayed face mist to look dewy and cute. 

Is this a date? Or is this just two friends being adventurous? 

Whatever, I want to look cute at least.

Seconds after I finish, I hear a knock at my door. I took a deep breath.

This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date. Calm down.

I opened the door. 

He was wearing a puffy jacket and dark black jeans that outlined his thigh muscles. Yum.

I also noticed he was wearing a gray beanie... which was identical to mine.

“Cute hat.” I noted. He grinned and tugged on my beanie. 

“Same goes for you. Ready for some hot chocolate?” 

“Yes, where are we going to get said chocolate caliente?” 

Jihoon gave me a weird look. “Chocolate what?” 

I stared at him, stunned. “Chocolate caliente. Caliente means hot in Spanish. Therefore, hot chocolate. You didn’t take Spanish in high school?” 

He shook his head. “Nope, I took Japanese because I’m a weeb.” I snorted. 

“Wow, I should be surprised but I’m not.” He pushed me playfully and I tried not to freak out over the warmth of his skin. 

“You’re telling me you don’t watch any anime?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Of course I watch some anime. But am I full blown weeb... no.” 

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I can change that, don’t worry.”

“You still didn’t tell me where we are going.” My fingers felt crisp from the cold air. It wasn’t snowing tonight, but the ground was still white. 

“Aha, we are going to my favorite cafe called ‘Pink Heart Cafe’. It is decked in pink hearts.” 

“As expected from a Pink Heart Cafe.” I joked. In the near distance, I noticed a sign that had a baby pink heart that wrote ‘Pink Heart Cafe’ in cute lettering. 

I crinkled my nose from the cold air. “What, you don’t like pink?” 

“No, no, I love the color pink actually. It’s just kinda cold out here.” He nodded. 

“Maybe it would be warmed if we held hands... maybe.” 

For the first time, I felt comfortable with someone’s flirtatious comment.

I smirked and hooked my hand with his. I felt my heart beater faster. Much faster. And I loved it. 

I saw him smile widely and hide it with his hair. 

“I’m a lucky guy.” He whispered. 

We walked into the cafe. 

“Hi! Welcome to Pink Heart Cafe, for here or to go?” 

“For here, please.” The woman nodded. 

“Please take a seat. We will come take your order soon.”

We took our seats in the corner, next to the pink fairy lights. I was in love with the aesthetic. 

“Cute place. And fancy it seems, they come take our order at the table.” I sang a bit of Twice’s Fancy. 

“Oh gosh, you love Twice?? Me too!” I shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I mean, I like them, their songs are cute and catchy but I’m not a diehard fan.” 

He frowned. I can change that too. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. “Wow, it seems like there are a lot of things you want to change about me. What do you even like about me?” I teased. 

He smiled harder and I noticed a blush on his face. 

“Uhhh, that’s a good question. I like... I like how you’re honest with your emotions. I like how you’re good at photography. I like that you want to become an RA because of the money and--” I gasped and pushed him on the arm.

“That’s not the only reason! Yes... the pay is good, but I like helping people.” 

Our laughter died down as he gazed at me intensely. 

“You like helping people? Tell me more about that.” 

I paused. No one had asked me that before. 

“Um, no one’s asked me that before. I guess I just like to see people happy. I like appealing to people’s emotions and most times, I’m pretty good at making people like me.” I said honestly. I saw his face light up at my words. “And I also want to be a teacher after I graduate, so being an RA would help improve my social skills and teach me how to interact with those younger than me and work through their problems. I don’t know, people say it’s hard and that it can be tough if kids come to you with suicidal thoughts and feelings of anxiety and depression, but I mean, I just want to do it and give back to the community somehow... I don’t know. ” I mumbled off, feeling like I said too much.

His gaze was so serious, I was scared I bored him to death.

He leaned closer to me and I freaked out. I held my breath, waiting for what was next until he spoke. 

“You’re so awesome.” He finally said. 

That... that was surprising.

“Um, thanks?”

“I’m serious! That’s so amazing why you want to be an RA. Honestly, I took up this job because it pays well and I’m good at talking to people, but sometimes I couldn’t care less about my residents. I like how you’re so kind to people.”

I laughed, “I’m not that nice.” 

“Yeah right, you were nice to me the first time we met. And I could’ve been a creepy dude and I almost made you break your camera.” 

“Well, I was nice to you because you are a cute boy.” He choked on his drink at my blunt words. I grew shy all of a sudden and laughed with him. 

“Jesus, give a boy a warning before you say such words.” He was pink in the face and I felt my heart warm. 

“It’s true, you are attractive. But it is also true that I’m not nice. My roommate is irritating the heck out of me and I have to tell myself every time I talk to her to say nice things and not hurt her feelings ‘cause she’s so damn sensitive.” 

He paused for a moment. I was nervous he would think I was a bad person. Which... technically is what I’m trying to convince him of. 

“Wow, you just got ten times nicer.” Now it was my turn to choke on my drink. 

“What? I just told you I have to force myself to be nice to my roommate even though I just want to snap at her all the time.” 

Jihoon leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face. “Exactly! Most people would’ve just called her a bitch and moved on! Moved out or from what I’ve seen, some girls do mean shit like throwing another girl’s clothes out of her closet or flirting with her boyfriend. You... you just be nice when someone is mean to you.”

“She’s not mean, just rubbing me the wrong way.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“See? You are still defending her even though I’m sure she’s putting you through more than other people would take.” 

I shrugged. “I don’t know, most people don’t take me seriously when I talk about it.” 

“Try me.” 

I hesitated at first, but when I saw his open and honest look, I spilled.

“Well, I’m quite an introverted person so I need my alone time. And when I told her, this was actually the night that I met you, um, I told her that I wanted to be alone. And then she invited people over to the room and yes, they left soon, but when I’m in my isolation mood, I just... I just don’t even want to look at people.” 

He stared at me with a curious look so I rambled on. “I know, it’s dumb-”

He placed a gentle hand on top of mine.

“No, that’s not dumb at all. She should’ve respected your words. I would be so mad. Give me more!” He pounded his fist on the table for dramatic effect. 

I felt my heart lighten when he wanted to hear more of my words. I was so used to people ignoring me and brushing over my concerns.

“Uh, well, just... well not just Naeun, my roommate, but some of my friends in the same dorm as me. They are just really judgmental and the negativity just pains me. I don’t like judging others before getting to know them, so hearing them talk bad about random people they don’t know just pains me. And I’m no saint, yes I judge people, but I make sure I talk to them first and get to know them before I make judgments.”

Jihoon smiled. “You keep getting better the more I get to know you. I do the same thing, my friends think I’m crazy when I say ‘hey that dude looks kinda mean and no one likes him, i’ll be friends with him’!” 

My eyes widened. “Oh my god, that’s how I met most of my friends!” 

We laughed as we bad mouthed our friends and the people who have hurt us. 

“Why do you stick with such crappy friends? No offense, you deserve so much better.” 

I shrugged. “I mean, everyone says that to me and truly, I don’t even know. I just feel so connected to them now and they have their good moments-”

“Good moments aren’t enough if they consistently hurt you.”

“I know, I know! I just... maybe I’m not that good of a person then if I stay with them. Like people say, you are who your friends are.” 

“That’s bull, you’re a good person, I know that. And your friends don’t even care to listen to you rant, I can tell I’m the first person you told all this stuff too because you have flames in your eyes. You deserve friends you can trust and are able to rant to. I promise.” 

I bit my lip, thinking of what to say. 

“Thank you, I guess I just think I am helping them by staying with them. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” 

“Just know that you have me now, and if you ever need to rant or vent or whatever, I’m here for you. You have me now.” 

I felt a wave of emotion wash over me. No one’s ever said that to me before and meant it. I know he meant it, it was written all over his face. 

I nodded slowly, accepting the moment we were having. 

We sat in a moment of silence until the waiter came for the check.

I dug through my pockets to get out the ten dollar bill I stuffed in there. 

“Hah funny,” Jihoon chided when he whipped out his card before I could do anything. I gasped. 

“Ah, Jihoon, I brought money!” 

He tsked and stood when the waiter gave him his card back. “Yeah right, I’d never let a girl pay on the first date, that’s like... illegal.” I rolled my eyes, until I realized what he had just admit.

“Date?” I questioned carefully. 

He looked away from my gaze, like he didn’t mean to say the word. 

“Yes... date. Do you have a problem with that?” 

I grinned.

“Nope.”

[dustinchris]

dude im starting to foam at the mouth at tmr. whats ur characterisation of the mains i need to hear the tea

when i first read this i was like MY characterization? but eye didn’t do anything.. and then realized james dashner and whoever wrote the screenplays didn’t really do anything either so.

i feel like (much like Avatar, 2009, Oh, Wouldn’t You Know) tmr focuses more on building a world than building its characters, now i don’t really mind this as i happen to be a fan of Places and Things, but i AM annoyed bc memorable characters = relevancy and thats a setback for what i’m trying to do here

i’m literally not even saying the characters are bad i like them but they needed rebranding. if thomas had some sort of unique physical distinction synonymous with who he is and his backstory, destiny, and legacy maybe we’d have a maze runner theme park at universal studios rn you know.

ok ok but the funny thing abt tmr is it’s basically a teenage boy hivemind..... the only thing they CAN think about most of the time is how to not die, they don’t seem to individually represent anything, and they all have their fucking minds wiped so there’s nothing about their past to shape them or motivate them or anything like that.. in this post apocalyptic hellscape the core goals of the heroes AND the villains are just going to be about survival and while that’s not uninteresting, none of that makes it easy to create distinctive characters. ahdjdkkd sorry i’ll stop myself and talk more about that later and now i will actually try to chat abt the tmr characters !!

okay so i mentioned none of them having backstory which is a lie because THOMAS, hello, actually has a backstory, and it is completely wasted on him which is so funny to me. like he’s a very in-the-now person who willfully ignores the fact that he has a past and honestly that doesn’t matter bc it barely affects his current reality at all besides people from WCKD already knowing who he is. like i strongly think if thomas was just some random he would still do everything the same and everyone would still be trying to kill him. thomas (alright besides his magic blood i’ll give you that) is not actually special but it’s like HE is the only one who knows that. everyone’s like why is thomas so special why is thomas different, but i think (again, besides the blood) he’s genuinely not, he’s literally just stupid. it’s implied maybe he used to be really smart but that obviously didn’t work out for him because now he’s just a newborn calf who’s dumb and brave and impulsive and it WORKS !!!! he’s naturally very curious, which is why he’s a good protagonist for exploring our fun settings and (more importantly) another reason why it’s SO funny he does not care to know about his old life . and thomas is a circumstantial leader. i think most YA protags in things like this don’t want to be the leader but are good at it once they try and usually NEED to be the leader for whatever reason. thomas leads when it makes sense for him to lead, like when they need to take immediate action or someone needs to yell “RUN!!!!” otherwise the leadership role goes to someone who is capable like alby or minho or newt or if they’re lucky enough to find literally any grown up who isn’t evil it’ll go to them. i think it’s nice that thomas pushes when something’s important to him but otherwise is fine with whatever he’s given. if one were to use cats 2019 terms i would say most of the time thomas is victoria if she was the jellicle choice but he’s jennyanydots when he’s alone (he sits and sits and sits and sits)

i think it’s significant TERESA was the only one who got her memories back and in the movies she doesn’t really become a person until she finds her purpose from those memories and her former self’s morals. thomas was like “yeah there’s no way i’m fucking with WCKD again because they suck. they put me and my friends in a killer maze. i ain’t reading all those memories. i’m happy for me tho. or sorry that happened.” but teresa needed to know and needed to justify her choices. if thomas doesn’t think he’s different, teresa definitely thinks she is! and she is unique, once she gets her memories she’s SMART AGAIN she’s a teen scientist wunderkind which i will never stop thinking about like how does she really feel about thomas who she KNOWS has lost all intelligence on PURPOSE and is on the right side of history because of it. what teresa did wasn’t even that bad i guess she had noble intentions but she betrayed the boys and that is not on. teresa is what always sunny would call “the useless chick” for most of the time in this fun little series but her shining moment is when she entered the maze and was like IMMA START THROWING ROCKS AT ANYONE WHO IS NOT DYLAN O’BRIEN (a very accurate and impressive representation of a teenage girl). and can i mention the dynamic between thomas and teresa would be a lot more interesting if they were twins. it’s the drama of the last of your family making a decision completely opposite your own instead of some random coworker you have no real chemistry with

BRENDA is just like Cool Action Girl i have no thoughts on her but i don’t dislike her. i don’t think we like ever see her interact with the whole maze group but they’d all be scared of her because she’s not fucking around and i think she would be mean if needed. she’ll fit in

this is the part of the tumblr post where i get to the best characters but have nothing to say about them 😔

MINHO is too cool for this series. i’m confident every single one of these teens is in love with him and he knows none of them are good enough. in cats terms he’s munkustrap because without him everything would be a mess but he’s got the range for the rum tum tugger. minho is the one who says “guys why don’t we just say fuck like normal people” after a week of everyone saying stuff like “shuckface” to which gally or any other rule abiding freak is like okay that’s IT time out. get on top of the fridge. and he screams THIS MAZE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

newt :-) NEWT is mr mistoffelees in cats 1998 (NOT 2019) because he’s gay, he has the panache of a cat twirling around in a light up jacket shooting lightning out of his paws, and he’s saying things like “the rum tum tugger is a terrible whore” to RTT’s face and getting away with it. i love when he asks thomas if he still likes teresa and gets in his face about it and screams like what was that even about that was homosexual activity. i really love newt.... like can i talk about his fashion choices again the scarf and fingerless gloves in scorch trials even tho it’s a thousand degrees he looks good. and the shearling jacket in the death cure literally STYLIN... it’s very important that newt is the only british person in this whole thing i think. what’s up with that. i love it. he’s the most likely to think “wow this glade thing is kinda like love island” but the least likely to say those words out loud

[whybaddecisions]

To the one that got away:

It was winter when she first came to picture, I was just an ordinary guy that worked abroad didn't know what to do no goal, ambition, or even dreams if I can consider it, Was making money but I can't feel satisfaction while doing it soulless and partially lifeless in the process, before I came home I was in a long distance relationship with someone from France and everything worked out just fine but eventually we lacked personal intimacy, to the point that were not even trying to communicate with each other just went with our days without even saying "Hi" or "Good morning" to be honest I thought that she would be the one for me and I'll be the one for her, I was greatly mistaken to have thought that, because if u truly wish someone to be with you till your last breath it must have the right amount of perseverance, the strive to push forward and not to quit and fight! One day we came to an agreement that the thing we have isn't working out anymore, so we broke up decided to be friends, just like that in a snap of a finger she was gone and so am I.

I know that it's rough on both of us but on the other hand it felt that the chemistry wasn't there anymore so it's better to leave that be.

After a month I decided to focus more on my career first since I'm waiting for my agency to call and kick me out of the country again but with a new job on a cruise ship around Us and Europe, while waiting i knew that my brother knows a lot of people here in the Philippines that has a company related to my forte so I asked him

"Man do you know anyone in the industry looking for a waiter?"

He told me that there was one here in Batangas and she was a good friend of his.

"yeah I know a place just a 5 min drive from here"

So I was excited cuz I'm going to work my ass off and forget what has happened.

So there it was "TRICIA'S" name of the workplace my brother told me about, and on December 17, 2019 I started there as a waiter, it was an open house bar kinda rowdy but in a good way but damn do these kids party hard! My shift was from 4pm to 4am and it was messy as hell always but I had fun in the process.

Then that faithful day came to place, all the stars were aligned and the soothing falling of leaves was upon me, I didn't expect any less from that day than any day cause for me it was just goin to turn out as an ordinary day, but then u came and I saw you with my best friend. 🙏 well I couldn't care less at first if u talk to me or not, but the first time you shut me down is when you were passing by my side I thought that u are going to get a menu off the bar, and I was psyched and told myself "now's my chance to like give her the menu and make small talk" Then u said "No" off the bat cuz u were just going to grab that box of tissue, boo me assumer! Then I remembered u were with my best friend so time to show off I think? Like provide them with the best service possible, bring the drinks on time, food must be hot, bucket of ice must be full all the time, no delay in anything like to the fullest service a server can give them, after all was served I was shocked that u said Hi and Hi again and again complimented my cologne called me by my nickname which wasn't really needed, I was shy just making a grin of my mouth just to show her I'm not bothered, but I'm to the fullest extent cause I already asked for ur name, checked u out on Facebook through my best friend that's why I was shy.

The u guys left. And I asked my bff

"should I add her on FB? What ya think?"

She replied with so much enthusiasm

"Gooooo! Add her, she wants to be friends with you also"

And boom it hit me like the biggest meteorite just punched through earth, I was so overwhelmed and cannot wipe the smile of my face that morning.

I'm not normal I can say that proudly in a good way of course, but if someone overwhelmed already with the thought of his/her crush wanting for them to be friends and then out of nothing she says that do you want me to bring you coffee, that would be the most awesome thing that would happen to you, you'd probably be smiling for the whole day like legitimately smiling at everyone with the upmost feeling. For me coffee is sometimes is more important than people but for what she did LFU!!! And she brought me my coffee that morning and she insisted on bringing it , on that day she already got me.

Time passed and things were going accordingly, perfectly some bumps along the way, but we were happy and contended to what we had and a few dates, I remember on the night before Christmas I was supposed to give u your present and you stood me up because of a party your family held and I understood that situation of yours, kinda sulk tho that we didn't get to meet but one of my favorite memory is when you asked me out on a date and it was Christmas, you got to meet my parents also sorry if your hills was soaked in water cuz it was pouring heavily that day. We ate at "Romantic Baboy" a Korean restaurant with unlimited pork skin, chicken strips and cheese on the sides, and you know what's my favorite part of that particular day? Is when I took a picture of you smelling a rose and thought to myself that I don't want this to end may the universe hinder us from us but I'll fight with my last breath to preserve what we have and what else will happen. Then I fucked up.

Scribbled words, nauseated, anxious, crippled, out of way, bothered, stressed,fretful,fretting, disturbed, agitated, irritated, apprehensive, to the point that I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror so disgusted to what I did, execute me if the universe wants to, the feeling of overly doubting my self worth was inevitable, brought to me by my own decisions that messed me up entirely.

Wondering what happened haunts me in the most gruesome way possible. So here it goes, I lied to her big-time which I didn't know that it was possible since I did it already not multiple times but only ONE THAT GOT ME REAL FUCKED! Is when I received a message from my longtime best friend from way back as kids, 20 years to be exact . On the message she told me

"when are you going to show urself I haven't seen u in forever"

Then I was shocked cause normally she wouldn't Pm (Private Message) like that in the past, then I told her.

"one of these days when I'm not busy cause of work"

Then she asked about my love life and u were the first in my mind so I told her about you.

"there's this girl that I'm seeing, my other best friend introduced me to her and she already met my parents last Christmas then we ate outside and we had a great time"

That's what I said then I also told her to help me find a perfect present for you.

Then on December 27, 2019 I told you that I'll be visiting a long time friend with a kid and I didn't tell you if it was a girl or a boy cause I don't want you to get angry at me but then again I should've told you that in the first place. When I was there at her house since we were long time friends we had a great time also with the kid in the picture, happy and overwhelmed at the same time, then her mother came down gave me a hug and greeted me welcome home or back to the phil, cause she hasn't seen me for over 4 years I think. After the the greetings my best friend told her mom that I'm seeing someone which is you. Well I didn't expect that she would be sly about it and drop your name so casually, so I just came right through it and said yes I'm dating this girl and she's wonderful, but her mom told me that r u taking things way to fastly you just got out of a relationship, I told them that also I was off with someone before I met you. So after they told me not to deepen anything with anyone yet, assuring that I would not get hurt cause for them I'm family also, cause her dad was the godfather of my brother that's why our families was close still to this point they are.

Then the next day came I went again to her house because I was having fun playing with her son and missed talking to her a lot, because in the longest time I had a crush on her and knowing me I couldn't seal the deal from before, but this time I thought to myself maybe this is it when she'll notice the man i have become, and you passed my memory, in me saying that I'm dating this girl and why should I break her heart? Did u deserve to be treated that way Nooooo! In fuckin million years no! But I did anyways. Without even consenting my best friend, myself and most importantly God. I messed up 😭

So then it happened the happiest'sh and the worst'sh decision in my existence trampling over someone that didn't deserve any hardships cause you were the most beautiful soul ever seen. Yeah I misunderstood the fact that she'll replace you over and over again because of the thing we had in the past like 20 years of friendship over something that just happened recently was a very wrong thought to even deliver in a person's mouth crippling fear came over me I didn't know what to do my life was in chaos lost in the path, I part take wishing it all away silently murmuring to myself that if had the power to change it all I would, I was blinded really blinded by that stumbling and staggering in every situation possible, even with work I wasn't happy anymore so I left, it's not like me to leave unprofessionally but I did cause it broke me down to my core knowing that I did something to hurt the most, I don't know if it's faith that we met or just me knocking on the door of heaven praying and longing for someone to bump in my life and there you was. But I was too blinded by the fact that I thought that she'll be the one to save me but you were there standing without flinching and with the unyielding love that a human person can give to another and I wasted it all away. Knowing that we were supposed to go to an amusement park, and guess what? That Jan 3 was the day destiny punched me in the face for me to tell you what I got in stored deep inside the dark and deep corners of my heart which was hard to let it out, but I was willing to get out of my comfort zone, break boundaries and say what I really mean.

But then again it didn't happen because of me. But why is that I don't have a perfect checklist of good things in life and almost all of it is on the bad side, really looking inside I didn't have any intention of hurting you, but when I came to see you coming from manila was one of the blurriest decision I've made cause I was going to fix everything but was still blinded, so I did see you but what I said that day when we were inside the car was all true, you mean the world to me but how dumb can a human be maybe I'm the epitome of that, knowing her and thinking she was the one was greatly poor on my side, some people are worth suffering for and I'll suffer for you anytime of the day, week, year or anywhere.

Saying this honestly you are the one with a pure heart on the other hand she also has but like only in a normal state and I thought she was a diamond but day by day she turns to coal slowly breaking and burning me in the process I don't blame her for that but knowing her I didn't expect that a shallow river is bound to drop over me and drown me, because in your eyes I saw a girl swimming in a vast ocean with many things to look after but was calm about it, and composed in a way that anything can turn out good and without harms way. Simply saying that u r different really different in a good way of course.

The self realization made it clearer than the brightest day, clarity filled up inside,b the blindness was cured and I can see far from what I saw before straightforward only walking in one path never turning right or left staying on a pace that'll last, growing abundantly in each other's presence. point here is i really know that u are the perfect illustration a right decision

I hope and pray eventually time will get us to see and feel that something happens for a reason, it's not just the way it was given but on the way it ends and begins again, hoping,praying, begging, pleading, that when that time comes even if it's on a reciprocal I will greatly cherish it and give it as grace without asking for anything in return like a river splashing water on the ground with the little weed sprouting through time, it doesn't have to be the entire ground but the important parts only, perfect timing, right alignment of stars and even if the wind blows strongly or a single rain drop I'll always bring you close by my side and wanting you to stay beside me. I just wish in time we would see each other in our arms again.

And to the one that got away.

Looking back to those days we were so happy I really wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, and the simple things u did, like looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes and the captivating depth and clarity it shown, the way you cling was warmth beyond any parka or furred jacket I've worn before saying slowly while you hug me that you'll never let go. And the way you pull your hair back showing roaring waves but calms me up to the core while the strands of your hair graze my face tingles my curiosity to kiss you in the forehead. And I never felt an urge every time you kissed me on the cheek and while you ask me to kiss you back was the sweetest tune my ears can imagine like angelic figures playing the harp or something like that. And the way we used to drive with ur friends feels like ecstasy having fun and in a euphoric way, I like seeing you laugh a lot, curse a lot at people, things or anything cause im not finding any wrong in that, because that's who you are and what you represent. Also the times we had so much fun singing those songs you recommended me. And to this particular song which made me see you in whole different level, cause you were the first one who dedicated something for me, those giggles that both of us shared is more important the . The unparralled and unrequited feeling that those gestures are simply producing, but what I say is the manifestation of genuine love is you.

[fiftyeightminutes]

@sensatejenn promoted via messenger: “hey! I know ur probably busy and bombarded with requests, but could u write a kalagang college au?”

Okay.  So apparently I had a lot of feelings about this Kalagang college AU???  Because this ended up being almost 10,000 words and taking me almost a week to write.  I hope it was worth the wait!   I also wrote a different Kalagang college au, but I wanted to try going in another direction with this one.

---

When Kala had been deciding where she wanted to go to university, she hadn’t initially wanted to leave the country.  She loves her family, and studying right there in Bombay was good enough for her. But her father encouraged her to broaden her horizons and at least apply to colleges abroad – after all, there were many great biochemistry programs overseas that could offer her a variety of career opportunities.  After sending off the applications, Kala hadn’t thought too much about it.  It would be months before she heard back, so she figured there was no point in speculating.

But then Rajan Rasal comes into her life.  He is handsome, only a few years older, and most importantly rich.  When he begins courting her, Kala’s family is thrilled. Rajan is smart and kind, and with her family’s happiness in mind she decides to give him a chance.  It’s nice enough – not passionate or overwhelming like in the films she loves, but she figures life can’t always be like the movies. And she does have fun with him. They have things in common, like their love for chemistry, and sometimes they just talk for a while.  Kala isn’t in love with Rajan, but she likes him enough that she doesn’t find herself wanting to break up with him.

That is, until he proposes. Rajan comes to her house one night, toward the end of the school year, and asks her parents for her hand in marriage once she graduates.  He says of course he would still want her to study, that she can go to school locally and pursue her career, that he would never dream of taking that from her. Kala can see the joy in her parents’ faces, the look of expectation in Rajan’s eyes, and she panics.  Barely managing to say, “I need time to think,” she runs to her room so she can freak out in peace.

Once in her bedroom, Kala lets the panic flood through her.  Her family wants her so badly to do this, but this is nothing she has planned for herself.  As she paces back and forth across the room, her eyes fall on a stack of letters she hadn’t seen before.  (In the back of her head, she remembers her mother saying something about dropping mail off in her room earlier that day, but that had been before Rajan arrived and everything before that moment kind of feels like a blur right now.) Shakily, Kala picks up the envelopes and sits on her bed.

Each of them has a different kind of postmark on it.  As she examines them, she realizes these must be letters from the universities that she applied to several months before.  Not knowing what else to do with herself in that moment, she starts feverishly tearing each envelope open, not even reading one letter before moving on to the next.  Soon, she’s surrounded by the open mail.  Tentatively, she begins to let herself finally read the letters.  (Kala tries not to think about what she will do if she was only accepted to local universities, what that will mean for her future now.)  It’s a healthy mix of acceptances and denials, but the acceptances are mostly from India and the denials are mostly out of the country.  Kala feels her heart sink a bit more with each international postmark that holds a rejection.  But finally, after she feels like she may be stuck having to choose between living with Rajan or her family’s disappointed faces, she opens the envelope postmarked from the United States.  Inside it she finds a thick packet of paper, the first of which starts with, “Miss Kala Dandekar, we are very pleased to accept you into Elizabeth Hamilton University.” She can’t read the rest through the tears of relief that begin streaming down her face.

---

Later that night, Kala talks with her parents.  She doesn’t outright say she doesn’t want to marry Rajan (she doesn’t know if she could handle their crestfallen faces if she did), but she tells them about the acceptance from an American university.  Kala reminds her father of all the opportunities he had spoken of when he convinced her to apply, reminds her mother of how important this could be for her career.  After some discussion they agree that if nothing else, she is too young to get married yet.  (Her mother had been younger, but she understands that times have changed.)

Kala doesn’t end up breaking off her relationship with Rajan, but her parents do tell him that they cannot accept the proposal until she is older.  For his part, Rajan is as sweet as ever.  He nods in acceptance and smiles, saying he is more than willing to wait. Their chaste courtship continues through the next few months, even as Kala makes preparations to leave the country.

As August rolls around, both her parents and Rajan offer to fly with her to help her get settled, but she politely declines.  Kala already feels guilty enough about how expensive her own plane ticket is, she wouldn’t want to put them out any further.  (That, and this is something she wants to do on her own.  But she doesn’t want to hurt any of them by saying that.)

So that’s how, after a very long flight, Kala finds herself alone as she gets out of a taxi and arrives at her university.  After fighting her way through the massive crowd of other first-year students, Kala is finally given her dorm assignment and room key.  She’s been assigned to the building for international students, and she finds herself feeling a bit relieved.  At least she won’t be the only one who is new to everything.

When she gets to her room on the second floor, Kala she notices two things.  One, that she is the first to arrive and two, she seems to have been assigned to a triple room.  The other two girls are already there.  One of them is pale, her hair bleached entirely blonde except for one streak of electric blue.  She introduces herself as Riley Gunnarsdóttir, but says Kala can call her “Riley Blue” if she prefers.  The other girl is thin, but even though her clothes Kala can see that her muscles are lean. Her hair is black, cropped short and framing her round face.  She introduces herself as Bak Sun, but tells Kala she doesn’t mind if people call her Sun.

They spend some time unpacking and getting to know each other, and Kala decides that even though both of these women are very different than she, she likes them.  When her stomach starts to growl, it seems only natural that she invite the other two along to see if they can find the dining hall.

In the hall of their dorm, they run into two boys.  One of them is tall and lanky, the other stockier and with a square build.  Half of their furniture is in the hallway as they try to rearrange their small two-person dorm room.  Between the two of them, they are carrying a dresser back into the room while debating which way it should face.  (Well, more accurately, the skinnier one is debating with himself where to put the dressed while the other boy mostly nods along.)  As Kala and her roommates pass, it becomes evident that the thinner boy is starting to lose his grip on the dresser.  Just as he is starting to swear and try to readjust his hold, Sun is suddenly there beside him and lifting it out of his hands.  The other boy raises his eyebrow and teases his friend in German.  The friend replies something that Kala is pretty sure translates to “fuck off,” but there’s laughter in it.  Together, the three of them move it into the room and place it where the skinny boy motions.

“Thank you,” the boy says. “I’m Felix, by the way.  This here is Wolfie.”

The other one glares at him briefly.  “Wolfgang,” he corrects.

Sun raises her eyebrow while Riley asks, “Really?”

He nods, and Felix laughs heartily.  “I know. I couldn’t believe it either when I found out, but it’s true.”

Riley laughs as well, and Sun smiles softly.  Kala looks to Wolfgang to see whether or not he minds them joking at his expense, only to find that he is looking directly at her.  His gaze is intense, fierce blue eyes locking with her warm brown ones. Kala’s not sure exactly how to describe what she feels in that moment – it’s like lightning down her spine, sticking her to the spot so she can’t look away from him.  (It’s nothing, nothing like when she looks at Rajan.  She tries not to think about that.)

The others continue to talk, getting acquainted and not really noticing that Kala and Wolfgang are lost in each other until Felix says, “Sound good, Wolfie?”

“What?” Wolfgang asks, blinking and looking at his friend.

“If they come with us to that party on Friday?” Felix elaborates, a look of amusement on his face. (Kala wonders if this is just normal for Wolfgang.  If he stares at people and gets lost in them all the time.  But she has no way of knowing, and finds herself wondering why she even cares.)

“Oh, sure,” Wolfgang agrees with a nod.

“How do you guys already know about a party?” Riley asks, mischief in her eyes.  “Aren’t you exchange students as well?”

“Ah,” Felix says, pausing a moment to think before he speaks.  (It’s the first time he has really done so, all of his other talk so far seeming very off-the-cuff.  It makes Kala curious.)  “Well, we are not American.”

The girls can see Wolfgang resisting the urge to scold Felix for such a half-assed answer.  Rather than letting his friend fumble, Wolfgang follows up with, “We moved here as permanent residents after graduating, but our school records are still in German.  So they put us here.”

“Oh?” Kala asks.  “You moved together?  What about your families?”

At this, Felix goes stiff and Wolfgang’s face hardens.  After an awkward moment, Felix just answers, “We’re all the family we need.”

Clearly sensing that this conversation is going nowhere good, Sun finally speaks up.  “We’re heading to dinner.  We will see you around,” she says, giving them all look that leaves no room for further discussion of the matter.

Wolfgang nods as Felix says, “Oh, sure.  See you ladies later.”

As Kala and her roommates leave their dorm room to find the dining hall, Kala finds herself wishing they had invited the boys along.

---

Orientation starts the next day, Thursday.  The college has all of the first year students arrive a few days before the upperclassmen so they can be get acquainted with things before classes officially start.  Kala wakes up a few hours before the first orientation event.  She’s always been an early riser, enjoying a nice shower before her family (and now her dormmates) are awake.  As it happens, she finds that Sun also seems to be a morning person. After turning off turning off her alarm, Kala rises to see Sun is already up and exercising.  (Kala thinks Sun is doing Tai Chi, but she’s not exactly an expert.)

Giving Sun a wordless smile, Kala quietly gathers her toiletries so as not to rouse Riley.  Sun smiles back before returning to her practiced movements.  Donned in her bathrobe in flip-flops, Kala makes her way to the bathroom.  She showers relatively quickly, not wanting to use up too much of the hot water, and after stopping by one of the sinks quickly to brush her teeth, she heads back to the hallway.

There, she is met with a nude Wolfgang.  “Oh!” she shouts, turning away from him instantly.

He chuckles, then wraps a towel around himself.  “I didn’t think anyone else would be awake.”

“So you just walk around naked?” Kala asks incredulously.

“You can turn around now, I’m decent,” he says in lieu of an answer.

She turns, but when seeing that his version of “decent” is just the towel slung around his hips, Kala averts her gaze.  “That is not what I would call decency,” she says with a huff.

“Then why did you look?” Wolfgang asks with a smirk.

“I did not,” Kala says, but her eyes can’t help wandering.

“Yes you did,” he replies. “You looked then and you’re looking now.”

“I’m not,” she protests weakly, now making a point of looking up at the ceiling.

Wolfgang just chuckles again.  “If you say so,” he says before walking into the men’s bathroom.

Still feeling flustered, Kala rushes back to her room.  When she gets there, she sees Riley is now awake as well.  The blonde girl is blearily checking her phone while Sun is grabbing her own shower supplies, but the both turn to look when Kala hastily enters.

“You alright?” Riley asks sleepily.

Kala nods shyly. Looking concerned, Sun asks, “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing, I just ran into Wolfgang,” Kala says, but she can’t meet either of their eyes.

“What did he do?” Sun asks.

“No, he didn’t – he didn’t do anything to me, I swear,” she says.  (Kala knows this would be easier if she just came out and said what happened, but she already feels like she might combust from embarrassment just thinking about it.)

“Then why do you just look like you saw a ghost?” Riley asks.

Finally cracking a bit, Kala looks at Riley.  “Not a ghost. It was…he was naked,” she finally admits.

After a moment of stunned silence, both Sun and Riley burst out laughing.  “He what?” Riley asks.

“He said he didn’t think anyone was going to be awake and was walking to the shower?  I didn’t really think to ask more than that,” Kala replies, covering her face.

Sun walks over and gently pulls Kala’s hands down, then looks her directly in the eyes.  “So he did not hurt you or say anything he should not have?” she asks.  Kala shakes her head.  Sun smiles. “Then you have nothing to be upset about.  You are here to study science, yes?”

Kala nods slowly. “Biochemistry.”

Sun’s smile widens. “Just think of it as a lesson in anatomy.  The human body is nothing to be ashamed of.”  Kala takes a deep breath to steady herself, while Riley does her best to hold in a giggle.

---

As Kala’s luck would have it, the exchange students have all been grouped together for orientation. (She knows it makes sense, given they’ll need an introduction to the country as well as the university itself. Still, she wishes she could have at least had some time to process things before being put in a room with Wolfgang again.)  Kala sticks close to Riley and Sun, sitting with them toward the front of the room they’ve made their way into.  Compared to the other groups of students she sees through the door streaming into other rooms, she realizes that there probably aren’t that many first-year exchange students.  Her stomach drops a bit.

Kala chats with Riley, trying to keep herself from watching the door to see when Wolfgang (and likely Felix) will come through.  Sun is mostly listening to their conversation, but Kala gets the feeling Sun also knows what Kala is doing.  Neither of the boys have arrived, though, by the time an older man walks through the door and closes it behind him.  The chatter across the room dies down, as the man takes his place in the front of the room.

The man appears to be Indian, but when he speaks it is with an English accent.  “Hello.  You don’t know me yet, but I’m Dr. Maliki, head of the International Student Services Department.  We’ll likely all get acquainted at some point or another.  But in the meantime –”

He is interrupted by the door bursting open suddenly.  Through it runs a haggard looking Felix, trailed immediately by Wolfgang (whose look can only be described as affectionately frustrated).  “Sorry, sorry!  Slept through my alarm!” Felix calls, hastily making his way to the first seat he can find.  Wolfgang takes a seat next to him, just nodding at the professor in his own apology.

Dr. Maliki sighs, then nods in return.  “Adjusting to new time zones is one of the things we will be trying to help you with,” he says with a bit of a smirk.  “As I was saying, on behalf of the International Student Services Department, I would like to welcome you to Elizabeth Hamilton University.”

As he continues his introductions, Kala tries to listen attentively.  She can’t help getting the feeling that she is being watched, though. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Wolfgang is not looking ahead at all, but over toward her.  He doesn’t seem to be staring at her directly, so much as staring off into space in general, bored with what he is hearing. After a few moments, though, Wolfgang seems to notice that she is looking in his direction.  He gives her a sly grin.  Blushing, Kala turns to face Dr. Maliki more directly.

---

The rest of their first day of orientation is mostly uneventful.  They are introduced to some of the other members of the International Student Services Department, then each of them are handed thick folders emblazoned with the university’s logo.  They’re given a tour of the school, then sent on their way to read through their folders on their own time.  When Kala opens hers, she finds it is full of a wide variety of information – everything from signup packets for English for Speakers of Other Languages classes to a pamphlet on local public transportation.  When they go back to their dorm, Kala, Riley, and Sun spend a while just looking through their folders and discussing which things are actually useful.

Half of the contents of their folders are on the floor when there is a knock on the door.  “Who is it?” Riley calls.

“Felix!” comes back through the door, muffled slightly by the wood.

Kala looks quickly between her roommates – Riley is grinning, while Sun has just raised an eyebrow. Before Kala can say anything, Riley says, “Come in!”  (Kala resists the urge to glare at her new roommate.)

Just as she worried, Felix is not alone behind the door.  As always, Wolfgang is beside.  (Kala finds herself wondering what happened to make these two so close.  Family, as Felix had said.  But they had made it clear it wasn’t something they wanted to talk about, and she knows she has done nothing to earn their trust.)  “To what do we owe the pleasure?” Sun asks, half-sarcastic.

“We were just wondering if you wanted to come get dinner with us.  Figure us strangers in this new land have to stick together, right?” Felix replies with a laugh.

Riley eyes him skeptically. “Didn’t you say you guys had moved here before the semester started?”

He nods.  “We did, but we’re just as new to the campus as you.”

Sun rolls her eyes and Riley laughs softly.  “Alright, I’ll bite.  Sun, Kala, you in?”

Rather than answering immediately, Sun looks to Kala.  (Kala knows Sun is silently asking if this is okay, or if she would prefer to stay behind. Kala is so grateful for it that she finds the bundle of nerves in her stomach starting to ease.)  “I could eat,” Kala says, giving Sun a reassuring smile.

Sun nods her assent and stands up, unceremoniously leaving various scattered pieces of paper around her. Taking a little more care, Kala picks up some of the papers she plans on keeping and puts them back into her folder before standing.  Riley sort of pushes the paper on her bed into a pile so she at least doesn’t knock it over, but she doesn’t bother putting anything back into her own folder. When they’re ready to go, Felix steps back to give them room to exit.  “After you, ladies.”

Stopping mid-step, Sun gives him a look.  “If you genuinely would like to foster a friendship with any of us, I recommend you start referring to us by name rather than ‘ladies’.”

There is a moment of silence in which Felix looks stunned, and then Wolfgang bursts out laughing. (Kala realizes it’s the loudest she’s ever heard him been, the look of joy on his face the most real that she has seen from him.  It makes her sad to realize, and she’s not quite sure why.)  To his credit, Felix doesn’t take long to recover.  “Fair enough,” he says with a grin.  “After you, Sun.”

Sun nods in approval, moving forward once again.  Giggling, Kala and Riley follow after, with Felix and Wolfgang bringing up the rear. As they walk, Felix’s lengthy strides catch him up to Riley and Sun, and Kala finds herself lagging behind a bit until she is walking beside Wolfgang.  When he notices, he gives her a smile.  It’s different than the ones she’s shot her before – it’s not smug.  This one is smaller, more gentle.  (Kala notices that this one reaches his eyes, and she feels her heart flutter a bit.)

“Sorry if I startled you this morning,” Wolfgang says.  The smile stays on his face, but something about the way he says it tells Kala he means it.

Looking down in embarrassment, Kala shakes her head a bit.  “It’s okay.”

He shrugs.  “I mean, I don’t mind.  But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Kala lets out a nervous laugh.  She finds herself wishing she could be like Sun, so blasé about nudity.  (And, well, most things it seemed.)  It’s not like she had never gotten curious – she had the internet after all.  But it was one thing to see a photo in the quiet of her own room back home, another thing to see a naked man in person.  In the end, rather than acknowledging her own discomfort, Kala decides to counter with her other thoughts on the situation.  “So do you and Felix just walk around without clothes on in your room all the time?”

“Us Germans are not so uptight about nudity,” Wolfgang answers, smile turning mischievous.

“I’ve noticed,” Kala replies, laughing for real this time.  “Well for the sake of us non-Germans you are now living with, at least consider some clothes next time?”

Now Wolfgang is laughing in return.  “I’ll give it some thought.”  (Kala finds herself noticing how his eyes light up when his smile is genuine. Finds herself wanting to keep seeing that light.  She knows nothing about him, but between this mysterious past and generally stoic demeanor, Kala feels like Wolfgang doesn’t have enough light in his life.)

They walk the rest of the way to the dining hall quietly, fondly listening to Felix and Riley discuss music ahead of them.

(“Wait, you’re THE Riley Blue?”

“I don’t know if it needs a ‘the’ in front of it, but yes.  That’s me.”

“Holy shit, Wolfie! Did you know we’re going to school with a DJ legend?”)

Once the group arrives at the cafeteria, Felix looks around for a second before bounding over and standing by a large table.  “This one look okay to you guys?” he asks.

Wolfgang nods and takes a seat.  “I’ll hold it while you guys get some food.”

“Are you sure?” Kala asks immediately.  (She’s not sure why she’s so concerned, but it’s too late to take it back by the time she starts to wonder.)

He shoots her another one of his grins.  “It’s fine. I’ll just get some when you guys get back.”

“Thanks, Wolfie!” Felix calls, then starts heading toward one of the lines for food.  Figuring they can follow his lead when it comes to whether they should accept Wolfgang at his word, the girls go to find food for themselves as well.

There are a few different lines, each leading to a different kind of food selection.  After looking for a bit, Kala finds a shorter line with some vegetarian options, and she quickly moves through it.  (She’s not a vegetarian, necessarily, but she doesn’t eat beef and she’s realized that that is half the meat in the cafeteria.  The vegetarian line seems like a safe choice until she becomes more familiar with her other options.)  After she fills her plate and grabs herself a mug of tea, Kala heads back to the table.

When Kala there, she finds she is the first one to have gotten her food.  She sits across from Wolfgang and gives him a smile.  “You can go get some now, if you want,” Kala says.

Wolfgang shrugs. “I’ll go in a minute.”  He looks at her food with some interest.  “Find anything edible?”

She laughs and looks at her plate.  It’s nothing spectacular, but she figures cafeteria food could also certainly be worse. “They said this was eggplant parmesan,” Kala offers.  “I’ve never had it before, so I’m not sure if this is what it’s supposed to look like. But it smells alright.”

He gestures at her food. “Well, give it a try.  It probably won’t kill you – they can’t get your tuition money if you’re dead,” Wolfgang says with a smirk.

Kala laughs again and figures it can’t hurt, so she picks up her fork and takes a bite.  It’s not bad – a little chewier than she thinks the eggplant probably should be, but the parmesan and marinara sauce at least give it a good flavor.  She considers it, and when she swallows she decides, “Not too bad.”

“Think I should get some?” he asks.

Rather than answering directly, Kala cuts off a piece.  “You can try some, if you want,” she offers.

Wolfgang raises his eyebrows in question, and she nods to confirm she’s serious.  “Sure, why not?” he says, leaning across the table.

Holding her other hand under the fork so none of the sauce drips, Kala leans forward and brings the food to Wolfgang’s lips.  Tentatively, he takes the bite and slowly leans back as he experiences the flavors. “What do you think?” Kala asks. (She means to only be asking about the food, but she finds her palms getting clammy at how intimate the moment they just shared must have looked to anyone from the outside.)

Wolfgang licks his lips to get any stray sauce (Kala’s eyes can’t help following his tongue), then gives her one of his small, real smiles.  “I like it,” he answers, and the look in his eyes tell Kala he knows they’re not just talking about food anymore.

Of course, this is the moment Felix comes back to the table.  Oblivious to what was happening before he arrives, he loudly puts his cup and plate on the table, pulling Kala and Wolfgang out of the moment.  They both lean back in their chairs, away from each other.  “Hey, Wolfie, you haven’t gotten food yet?” Felix asks.

Standing up and pushing in his chair, Wolfgang answers, “I was just about to get up.”  He doesn’t look directly at Kala, but his hand gently brushes her shoulder as he walks past her.  The small touch sends a shiver down her spine, and after it comes a wave of guilt.

What am I doing? Kala asks herself.  What about Rajan?  But even as she thinks it, she knows it was never like this with him.  In just two days, Kala had felt more in her small interactions with Wolfgang than she ever had in her months with Rajan.  This only serves to make her feel guiltier, though.  She has a good man waiting for her back home in Bombay, and some random German boy is putting butterflies in her stomach?  Kala may not love Rajan, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are in a committed relationship.  She knows it would hurt him to know she was feeling this way about someone else.

Never having been good at hiding her feelings, Kala’s internal conflict comes across in her demeanor. Riley is the next to come back to the table.  When she does, she sees Kala and sits right next to her, leaning in and quietly asking, “Is everything alright?  Did Felix say something?”

Kala shakes her head, trying to bring her mind back to the here and now.  This is not the time or place to worry.  She can deal with this later.  “I’m fine,” she whispers back.

Riley gives her a look that says, We’ll talk more about this later, but for now she lets the issue go.  Soon enough, Sun and Wolfgang are back with their food as well.  When Wolfgang gets back, he shoots Kala a grin. She tries to smile back, but she knows it doesn’t look quite convincing because Wolfgang’s face quickly falls back to its usual look of neutral stoicism.  (And in spite of herself, that only makes Kala wonder about him all the more. How can someone go from so expressive one minute to completely inscrutable the next?)  The rest of the meal continues without incident, Felix and Riley carrying on most of the conversation as the rest of them listen and eat.

When they’re finished, they head back to the dorm together.  This time, Kala makes a point of trying to contribute to the main conversation, hoping the others will forget about her sudden change in mood earlier. Just like last time, Wolfgang matches her pace and walks beside her, but he doesn’t talk this time around.  As they get to the boys’ room, Felix grins and says, “Well, I guess we’ll see you bright and early tomorrow?”

“If you manage to wake up,” Sun quips in reply.

“Ouch.  Sun, you wound me,” Felix answers, but the look of amusement never leaves his face.

“See you then,” Riley agrees with her own soft smile.

Wolfgang gives Kala one last lingering look as Felix unlocks their room, then turns and enters behind his friend.  Kala sighs, and when the boys’ door closes Riley looks at her.  “Okay, we are talking about this.”

“What?” Kala says, feigning ignorance.

Sun gives Kala a look, and now it is Riley’s turn to sigh.  “We don’t have to do it here, but there is something clearly going on between the two of you.”

Kala looks down in embarrassment.  “Can we please go back to the room?” she asks quietly.  Both Riley and Sun nod, and together they walk back to their dorm room.

When Riley closes the door behind her, she starts asking questions before either Sun or Kala even have a chance to settle in.  “Okay, so what made you so upset at dinner?  What is happening with you and Wolfgang?”

Putting her face in her hands, Kala sits on her bed.  “I don’t know.  That’s the problem.”

“Why is it a problem?” Sun asks.

Kala laughs weakly. “Because I have a boyfriend?”

Riley steps toward her. “You what?  Why haven’t we heard about this guy?”

“It’s…things are complicated between us right now.”

“The distance?” Sun asks.

Kala shakes her head. “The distance is because things are complicated,” she says, knowing it doesn’t really explain anything.  She still can’t bring herself to meet their eyes, choosing to keep her head buried in her hands instead.

“Did he do something to you?” Riley asks cautiously.

Shaking her head again, Kala finds herself blinking back tears.  “No, he’s – Rajan is perfect.  He’s kind, and smart, and my parents love him.  Rajan has only ever been good to me.  And he comes from a good family.  Everyone says he’s perfect for me,” Kala finally says.  She knows she’s rambling, but she can’t help it. Now that she’s opened the flood gates, she can’t close them again.  “He wants me to marry him, and I should want to.  There is no reason not to,” she says, tears finally rolling down her cheeks.

“But you do not love him,” Sun deducts.  Taking a deep breath to try to calm down, Kala shakes her head no.

“Oh, Kala,” Riley says sadly, plopping down next to her on the bed and giving Kala a tight hug.  Sun sits on the other side of them, not joining the hug but offering her support all the same.  For a few minutes, Kala just cries into Riley’s shoulder.  She lets the sobs wrack through her body, finally done resisting the truth.  “Did you agree to marry him?” Riley asks when Kala starts to calm a bit.

“I told him I would have to think about it,” Kala replies, voice wavering.

At that, Riley pulls back a bit, looking Kala in the eyes.  “What is there to think about?”

Sun, however, understands more where Kala is coming from.  “Your family would be happy if you married this man, yes?”

Kala nods.  “I love my family.  They have given me everything – they were willing to let me study on the other side of the world so I can have a career in medicine.  I don’t want to disappoint them.  They were so excited when Rajan proposed…how could I say no?”

Both Riley and Sun take this in quietly for a few moments.  Then Sun nods, more to herself than either of them, like she’s decided something.  “It sounds like, more than anything, your parents want you to be happy.  Were they mad when you did not say yes right away?”

Slowly, Kala shakes her head.  “No…. They understood that I wanted to go to university first.”

Sun gives her a small smile. “Then I believe they will understand why you cannot marry Rajan, as well.”

Riley gives Kala a hopeful look, starting understanding what Sun is getting at.  “If they were willing to let you postpone your answer in order to study in America, I think they care more about your happiness than whether or not you marry Rajan.  There’s no guarantee for them that he’ll wait that long, but they were willing to let you come here.  If they really cared more about you marrying him, they wouldn’t have wanted you to leave.”

Kala takes a deep, steadying breath.  She realizes they’re not wrong.  Her parents could easily have changed their minds about her going to school abroad, saying it was too expensive or that they preferred she stay closer to home after all.  But they chose to let her go.  “I guess you’re right,” Kala says, giving them a watery smile.  This time, both Sun and Riley pull her into a hug together.

After a minute or two, Riley giggles and asks, “Okay, so now that that’s out of the way, what about Wolfgang?”

Sun laughs.  “I don’t even know,” Kala says with a groan. “Whatever it was, I think I may have messed that up, too.”

“What do you mean?” Riley asks.

Dejectedly, Kala tells them about her brief conversations with Wolfgang as they walked to the dining hall and when she’d sat down with her food.  She explains that neither conversation held much substance, but the way he looked at her made her feel like he was always hinting at more.  She tells them about letting him try her food (Riley just “aww”s at this), and then how the guilt had fled through her the moment he was no longer in her sight.  Kala explains that this is when Riley showed up and asked how she was doing, and that when Wolfgang saw that there was something wrong how the emotion completely fell from his face.

“What if I ruined everything with both Rajan and Wolfgang?” Kala asks, anxiety spilling into her voice.

Sun just shakes her head. “With Rajan, there is nothing to ruin. And with Wolfgang, he does not seem someone to lose interest so quickly.  He said he did not want to make you uncomfortable, yes?”  Kala nods, and Sun returns it.  “It is likely he was worried by your sudden change in demeanor. He probably did not want to make you uncomfortable again.  But since he does not know why your attitude changed, he does not know what he did to bring about your discomfort.”

Now Riley is smiling. “Exactly.  You just have to talk to him!”

“What do I tell him” Kala asked.  “That I was feeling guilty about how attracted I am to him because of my boyfriend back home in Bombay?”

Riley winces.  “You should probably take care of the boyfriend in Bombay part first.”

Kala bites her lip. She has no idea how she’s going to do this.  She wants to believe Sun and Riley, but there is a small part of her that is still terrified of her family’s reaction if she breaks things off with Rajan.  Well, on the bright side, no matter how mad they are they’re not going to see you for months either way, Kala tells herself.  After a few moments she says, “Would it be too cold to do it through an email?”

Sun smirks and Riley laughs. “Normally?” Riley starts, “I would say yes.  But given the time difference, it may be kinder than setting up a time to talk just to break things off.”

So with some assistance from her roommates, Kala writes two emails.  The first is to her family, explaining to them what she plans on doing and why.  By the time she’s finished typing, Kala is almost crying again.  “I hope they don’t hate me,” she says quietly when she hits the “Send” button.

Riley puts one arm around Kala gently.  “They won’t hate you.  They may be upset at first, but they will understand in the end why you can’t marry Rajan.”

Taking a shaky breath, Kala wipes at the tears in the corner of her eyes, then get started writing her letter to Rajan.  This one is more rambling – Kala doesn’t want to leave any potential questions unanswered so that this can just be finished.  It takes her longer to write, but after running the content by her roommates (who obviously can’t actually proofread in Hindi), Kala finally sends the message off.  Stomach turning, she watches the message move from her “Outbox” to “Sent Messages” folder. There is no turning back now.

“Are you okay?” Riley asks afterward.

Rather than answering, Kala leans over and wraps her arms around Riley.  After a brief moment, Kala also reaches an arm out and pulls Sun into the hug, too.  “I think…I think I needed to do that,” she whispers into them.

Smiling, Sun lifts Kala’s head up so their eyes are meeting.  “I think you did, too.”

---

That night, Kala sleeps the best she has in a long time.  She hadn’t realized just how anxious everything with Rajan was still making her until it was done.  Now, she is here in America with no obligations or expectations except toward her schooling – just the way she had always imagined university should be (except maybe for the America part).  When she wakes up the next morning, she feels better than she can remember feeling for a long time, jetlag be damned.  Once again, Sun is already awake and doing tai chi when Kala gets up.  Giving Sun a small smile, Kala changes into her bathrobe and grabs her toiletries to go start getting ready for the day.

This morning, Wolfgang is exiting the men’s room as Kala walks down the hall toward the women’s showers. He’s clearly already washed, water still dripping off his hair and rolling down his bare chest.  (Kala notes thankfully that he at least has a towel around his waist this time.)  Doing her best not to stare, she makes a point to look him in the eyes when she says, “Good morning.”

Wolfgang stops in his tracks, clearly surprised that she has addressed him.  To his credit, though, he recovers quickly.  He shoots her a grin.  “Morning.”  Now that he’s paying attention to her, he can tell that where she is making a point of not looking.  His grin becomes a bit smug.  “I wore a towel today,” he jokes, as if she hasn’t noticed.

“Yes.  I, uh, I noticed that,” Kala replies, hoping her embarrassment isn’t obvious.  “Um, thank you,” she offers, not sure what else to say.

And whatever he had expected from her, it must not have been that.  Surprise quickly passes through Wolfgang’s eyes before his smile softens. “Like I said.  I did not want to make you uncomfortable.”

Even though him in a towel is still far more than she is used to seeing, Kala’s heart warms knowing he was thinking of her.  She wonders if maybe Sun was right about Wolfgang after all.  “I appreciate it,” she replies softly.

Wolfgang continues to look smile at her for a moment, and Kala can tell there is something more he wants to say.  But then the moment is gone, and instead of whatever it he was thinking he tells her, “Well, I’ll see you at orientation.”

Swallowing hard, Kala nods. “See you then.”

He nods back, then heads back to his room.  Once the door has closed behind him, Kala releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

---

The second day of orientation is uneventful.  Dr. Maliki hands out their schedules and explains some of the introductory classes that all students are expected to take.  Kala, usually attentive when it comes to academics, is finds it hard to concentrate.  Throughout the day she keeps catching Wolfgang looking at her, and she can’t heat rise to her face.  He seems to notice her embarrassment, which only makes him smirk each time he catches her looking back.  By the time their released for the day, Kala finds herself wondering what kind of impression she must have made on Dr. Maliki.  It’s something she would normally worry about, but after a moment Kala realizes she doesn’t actually care.  She is too high on the jumpy feeling in her stomach, the flush still on her cheeks, to actually mind if he noticed he wasn’t giving her full attention.

When they leave the building to head back to their dorm, Riley gives Kala a knowing smile and says, “You look happy.”

Kala covers her hands with her face.  “Am I that obvious?”

Sun chuckles.  “I am not sure I have seen a more obvious pair.”

Riley giggles, and Kala peeks out between her fingers.  “So you don’t think I ruined things with him?” Kala asks.

Pulling her in for a hug, Riley grins.  “If that’s what ruined looks like, I can’t wait to see when things are good.”  Kala buries her head in Riley’s shoulder while Sun laughs softly.

The mood light, they all walk back to their dorm together to get ready for the party that night.  Sun wears black slacks and a matching sleeveless blouse, simple and chic.  Riley goes all out, putting on a blue and yellow striped tank top, a leather skirt, and bright blue eyeshadow.  Deciding to go somewhere between the two, Kala dons a purple sequined mini-dress and natural makeup.

A little after 8 o’clock, there is a knock on their door.  “Who is it?” Riley calls as she puts her shoes on.

“Felix and Wolfie!” they hear Felix call from the other side of the door.  “You guys ready to party?”

Sun grins as Riley calls back, “Come on in!”

The door pushes open, and as promised, there stand Felix and Wolfgang.  Felix is wearing a bright blue short-sleeve button up, skinny jeans, and shiny silver shoes.  Wolfgang is in dark colors, as usual, but he’s dressed it up now.  Rather than the usual t-shirt, he is wearing a long-sleeve black button-up shirt, the first couple of buttons undone.  (Kala forces herself not to linger on that fact.)

“You all look marvelous,” Felix says with a grin, stepping into the room.  Wolfgang follows behind him, but his eyes never leave Kala. “Ready to go?” Felix asks.

Gathering their things, they leave the dorm building and start walking off campus.  “So where is this party?” Kala asks.

Wolfgang and Felix smile. “A couple of friends of ours have a place off campus.  It’s not too far, they’re going to be in school with us.”

“Have we met them?” Riley asks.

Felix shakes his head. “I don’t think so.  They’re Americans,” he replies with a laugh.

“So you’ve been here long enough to befriend some locals?” Kala asks.

Wolfgang gives Felix a concerned look before saying, “Not too long.  Just a few months.”

Nodding, Felix adds, “We moved right after we finished school.  And anyway, you’ll like these guys.”

“Do we get to know their names?” Sun asks.

Chuckling, Wolfgang answers, “Will, Nomi, and Amanita.”

“Well,” Felix says, “Technically Nomi lives on campus, but I’m pretty sure her roommate is never going to see her with Amanita this close.”  He wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

“So it’s Amanita and Will’s place, then?” Riley clarifies.

“Only if you look at the names on the lease,” Felix laughs.  “I’m pretty sure if you ask any of them, it’s just as much Nomi’s place as theirs.  She’s not actually from around here, but she moved over here a couple months early.”

This time, Wolfgang’s look is less cautious and more scolding.  “That’s not your story to tell,” he says.

Felix concedes.  “Not wrong.  I’ll leave that one to Nomi and Amanita.  They tell it much better, anyway.”

Soon, they group arrives at a small townhome a few blocks from campus.  It’s not much, but the lights are on and they can hear the bass pumping from where they’re standing on the sidewalk, so Kala knows they must be at the right place.  Felix leads the way and knocks loudly at the door.  Within a few moments, the door swings open wide to reveal a black woman with multicolored hair and wearing a bright red dress.  “Felix, Wolfgang!” she yells with excitement, then makes a show of looking at the rest of them.  “Oo, you brought friends!  I didn’t know you two had friends.”  She smirks.

Felix’s face contorts into one of fake shock.  “And here I thought we were friends,” he says.

The woman shakes her head, putting on her on her own fake look of sadness.  “No.  I just keep you around so we can stare at Wolfgang,” she says.  Both Wolfgang and Felix laugh at that.  “Well, don’t just stand out there.  Come in, come in!”  Once the five on the outside make their way in, the woman grins at them.  “I’m Amanita, since neither of these gentlemen have enough manners to introduce us.”

“Ah, sorry.  These are Sun, Riley, and Kala,” Felix says, motioning to each of them in turn.

“It’s great to meet you guys,” Amanita says.  “Now come on, most everyone else is already here.  Let’s get you guys some drinks.”

Kala raises her eyebrows. “Isn’t the drinking age here 21?”

Amanita laughs, but it’s not mean.  “Honey, I don’t think that’s stopped a single American teenager since that law came into place.”  Then, with a conspiratorial smirk she adds, “Plus, Nomi is a wizard with fake IDs. I’m sure she could get you one if you wanted.”

Shaking her head, Kala replies, “Oh, no thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” Felix quips.  “I had her make me one last month.  It’s never failed me.”

“My girl’s good at what she does,” Amanita says affectionately.

“So,” Wolfgang says after a moment.  “Those drinks?”

“Right!  This way,” Amanita answers and begins to lead the way from the living room to the back, where there is a small kitchen.  Here there are several types of beer and liquor, almost as many varieties of soda, and more red plastic cups than anyone could possibly need.  “Feel free to help yourselves.  First party of the year’s on us.”

Thanking her, they each grab drinks for themselves.  From there, they filter out into the party.  Felix quickly walks off to go talk to someone he knows.  After walking around with Sun and Kala for a bit, Riley finds out where the music is being played from and walks over to see if she can convince the tall dirty-blonde woman at the computer to let her have some fun.

When Sun finishes her drink, she looks to Kala.  “I’m going to go have a cigarette.  Do you want to come with me, or will you be alright?”

“You smoke?” Kala asks, rather than answering the question directly.

“We all have our vices,” Sun answers with a shrug.  “I take it you don’t, then.”

Kala shakes her head. “No, I’ve never tried.”

Sun nods.  “Good.  You shouldn’t.  But would you like to come with me?”

She thinks for a moment, but then Kala shakes her head again.  “No, I’ll be alright.  Thank you, though.”

Nodding again, Sun leaves to go to the front porch.  Kala goes to find Riley, but when she does the other girl is no longer playing music. She is instead off in a corner, deep in conversation with a boy with close-cropped brown hair.  The boy is looking at Riley with what Kala can only describe as wonder, like a breath of fresh air that he didn’t know he had been missing.  Not wanting to interrupt, Kala wanders in a different direction.

She’s feeling a bit tipsy already, but she notices her cup is almost empty, so Kala decides to head back to the kitchen.  When she enters, she finds Wolfgang pouring himself a shot.  “Oh.  Hi,” she says.

“Hello,” he replies, smiling.  Wolfgang the notices her empty cup.  “Want a drink?”

Kala looks at his shot glass.  She’s never done a shot before, but she finds herself wanting to try.  “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Looking at the bottle of vodka in his hands, Wolfgang laughs.  “Are you sure?”

She thinks for a moment. “I’ll need something to chase it with, but yes.”

“What do you want?” he asks.

Kala looks at the selection before her.  “Um, I guess orange soda wouldn’t be too bad with vodka, right?”

Wolfgang shrugs, handing her the bottle of soda so she can pour it into her cup.  After she does, Kala sets it on a counter and looks back to him.  He grabs a shot glass and pours vodka into it, then hands that to her as well. “Ready?” Wolfgang asks.

She smiles shyly.  “I think so,” she answers.

He lifts his glass and knocks it gently against hers.  “Prost,” he says, then they both take their shots.  Wolfgang winces slightly, whereas Kala struggles to keep herself from gagging. Once she knows she’s going to keep the alcohol down, she grabs for her cup of soda and takes a large swig.  “You alright?” he asks with amusement.

Kala coughs a bit, then nods.  “Yeah. I think so,” she answers, giggling a bit.

“Was that your first shot?”

“Yes.  Why?” she asks, a bit defensive.  (She doesn’t want him to think she’s inexperienced, even though that’s exactly what she is.  It’s clear this is not Wolfgang’s first party.)

Rather than judging her, though, Wolfgang looks at her fondly.  “I’m honored.”

She giggles again. (And oh wow.  How strong had the first drink been that this shot is making her laugh so easily, she wonders.  He doesn’t seem to mind, though, so Kala decides that means she shouldn’t either.) “Let’s do another!”

He chuckles. “Alright, one more, but then you’re taking a break.”

“That’s fair,” she agrees.

Wolfgang pours them another shot each, then hands Kala her glass.  “Ready for this one?”

“I did the first one, didn’t I?” she asks mischievously.

“That you did,” he says, then clinks their shot glasses together.  They throw back the alcohol, and Kala finds it goes down a bit easier this time.  Still, once it’s gone, she reaches for her soda and drinks it quickly to cool the burn in her throat.  “Alright. Break time.”

Kala nods and grins goofily at him.  (She’s aware she’s being silly, but it doesn’t bother her.  She feels loose, happy.  It occurs to her that she’s probably never had this much alcohol this quickly before.) He smiles at her again, then starts moving to leave the room.  “Wait,” she says.

Wolfgang stops instantly, turning back around.  “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Where are you going?”

“I just figured you’d want to go find your friends, I was going to go figure out where Felix went.”

Her face falls a bit. “Oh.  Go ahead,” she says.  Kala doesn’t want to keep him if he wants to find his friend.

Wolfgang shakes his head. “Felix will be fine.  I can stay.”  He steps forward a bit, then considers.  “If that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” Kala says.

He sits down in a chair next to her.  “What about Sun and Riley?”

“Sun went to have a cigarette.  She has my number, she can text me if she wants to find me.”  Kala smiles.  “And I think Riley met someone.  I didn’t want to encroach.”

Wolfgang pauses.  “Oh, I did see her talking to Will.”  He thinks on it for a moment.  “I hadn’t considered, but it makes sense.”

“Oh?”

“Will’s a good guy.  A little uptight, though.”  Wolfgang laughs a bit.  “He could use someone like Riley to help him loosen up.”

Kala thinks about the sadness she has seen in Riley’s eyes in the mornings, when she thinks none of them are looking yet.  She hopes this Will is as good as Wolfgang says.  “You vouch for him?” she asks.

A more serious look crosses his face.  “Only son of a cop I ever would.”

She’s not sure why, but Kala trusts that that means something to him.  “Good,” she says.  ‘Riley deserves someone nice.”

“So do you,” he says. She looks at him with surprise, but there is nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

“Everyone here has been nice so far,” Kala answers.  (She’s not sure why she’s dancing around this.  She wants to just tell him.  But the way he said that makes her wonder what he means.  You barely know this guy, she tells herself.  Maybe he’s not nice.  Maybe this is his warning to you.  But Kala pushes the thought away.  So far, Wolfgang has not given her any reason to doubt him.  She has never been in the practice of assuming the worst of people, and she doesn’t intend to start now.)

Wolfgang eyes her cautiously.  “Sorry if I was a bit too nice yesterday,” he says.

“Oh god!” she says, covering her face.  “You already apologized for being naked, you don’t need to talk about it like that.”

He laughs heartily.  “That’s not what I was referring to.”

After a moment, Kala realizes he must be talking about when she started thinking about Rajan at dinner. Her mood drops a bit.  She knows she did the right thing by breaking things off with him, but there is a part of her that still feels guilty.  Kala knows it is going to hurt him, all the more because she waited until after she left the country.  Still, none of that is Wolfgang’s fault, and she feels the need to make sure he knows that.  “No, you did nothing wrong.  That was…that was something I was dealing with.”

“Was?”

“Yes.  It’s done now.”

He thinks for a moment. “Do you mind if I ask?”

Kala sighs.  “It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

She bites her lip, debating for a moment.  But she figures if there really is something between them, she shouldn’t start it on a secret.  “There was a man at home.  In Bombay. He asked me to marry him several months ago.”  Kala sees Wolfgang’s face tense, and she is quick to continue.  “I did not say yes.  I couldn’t.  But I was too scared to say no, either.”

Concern passes through Wolfgang’s eyes.  “Did he hurt you?”

“No!  No, Rajan would never.  My family adores him, and everyone says he is perfect for me,” she says, but the old anxieties are crawling back into her voice.

He looks at her carefully. After a moment, he says.  “But you don’t love him.”

Closing her eyes, Kala nods. “I don’t love him.  What happened yesterday was me realizing that…that I couldn’t pretend to love him anymore.”

Wolfgang nods in return. “Good.  Pretending isn’t a life.”

She gives him an unsure smile, leaning forward and tentatively placing one of her hands on his. His hands are hot, and just yesterday it makes her shiver.  Wolfgang looks at her intensely.  “I don’t want to pretend anymore,” Kala whispers.

He turns his hand over in hers, so their palms are touching.  Gently, he reaches over with his other hand.  Before he touches her, though, he asks, “Is this okay?”  Slowly, she nods.  His hand reaches her hair, and she leans into his touch.  He meets her eyes.  “Are you sure?”  Licking her lips, she nods her head again.  Slowly, carefully, Wolfgang pulls her close and presses his lips to hers.