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petcarecorner · 4 years ago

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Latin Name: Felis catus

Place of Origin: Canada

Average Lifespan: 8-14 years

Average Length: 30-38cm

Average Weight: 3-5kg

Diet: Carnivorous

This naturally occurring cat breed has become one of the top 10 most popular in the world not in spite of their looks, but because of them! These cats- often described as so ugly they’re cute- have quickly gained a place in the hearts of those who learn to appreciate their beauty.

But these wrinkled good looks come with heaps of specialized care, making these one of the most high maintenance kitties on the market.

Thinking of getting a Sphynx cat? Here are some things you should know:

Personality

We all know the basics of cat personalities, don’t we? Cold, aloof, reserved... Well you can chuck all that out the window with this breed. These affectionate cats- often called velcro kitties- want nothing more than to be on and around their owners. And if you have guests over? Well you can bet they’ll be all over them too. These friendly felines thrive on attention, no matter who’s it is. Because of this, it’s best to look into getting them a friend (like a cat or a dog) if you plan on leaving them alone for extended periods of time. But hey, two pets are better than one, right?

When they’re not curled up next to you they’re bound to be racing through your house, climbing everything in their path and getting into trouble. Think your antiques are safe on the top shelf of your bookcase? Think again. The Sphynx’s athleticism is matched only by their curiosity so if you’re hiding something they’ll want to know what it is (and it won’t take them long to find a way up). With a Sphynx you’ll soon master the art of cat-proofing your house or die trying.

Enrichment

As mentioned above, Sphynxes are athletic, high energy and very smart. If you don’t provide your cat with enough enrichment they will destroy your house. First things first- cat trees are a must. Alright maybe not cat trees specifically, but definitely provide your Sphynx with something to climb so they can get all that energy out in a positive way. In that same vein, making sure your house has a ‘cat superhighway’ (where your cat can travel from one end of the room to the other without touching the floor) is something your Sphynx will thank you for. Cat highways can be made by installing new shelves, adding cat trees or even rearranging furniture. The possibilities are endless!

Grooming

This is were the Sphynx cat loses points… Loses all the points. Alright, that’s probably an exaggeration but there’s no denying the fact that these are some high maintenance cats with a skin routine that’d make Kim Kardashian quake.

For starters, Sphynx cats need regular baths. Because they lack fur to soak up any excess oils they tend to become greasy over time. Experts say that bathing them every 1-3 weeks (depending on how quickly oil accumulates on your specific cat) should be enough keep them from developing skin conditions or leaving sphynx-shaped grease stains all over the furniture. Try not to over bathe them though as this could counter-intuitively lead to them producing even more oil.

Because Sphynx kittens are bathed from birth it’s not uncommon for them to get used to water and maybe even enjoy bath time. That being said, this isn’t always the case so here are some tips to make bath time as enjoyable and stress-free as possible for the two of you:

Use warm water: Sphynx cats get cold really easily. If the water/room is too cold for you take a bath in then it’s too cold for them. Same goes for hot water.

Place a towel/non-slip mat at the bottom of the sink/tub: This lets your cat grip onto something so they don’t feel like they’re slipping

Fill your tub/sink before bringing you cat into the room: Cats are often distressed by the sound of running water. Make sure the water’s about belly-level with your cat

Hold your cat: Keeping a firm (but gentle) grip on your cat will not only keep them from jumping out of the water but your presence might also serve to comfort them. Give your cat a moment to acclimate before bathing them if they’re freaking out.

Use a cup to gently pour water over your cat: Be sure to avoid the head!

Use a wet washcloth to scrub your cat: Be sure to wash between the wrinkles where dirt/sweat/oil tend to accumulate. (Sphynx-safe shampoos will be listed below)

Towel dry your cat as soon as they leave the tub: After rinsing off your cat (by pouring water over them with a cup) and getting them out of the bath you’re gonna want to dry them immediately so they don’t get cold. Don’t use a blow dryer as it’ll scare your cat and irritate the skin. A quick towel dry is all they need (bonus points if you used a towel heater first!)

Never forget the power of positive reinforcement: Use a soothing voice, provide them with treats, try to make the experience as positive as possible and most importantly be patient!

When choosing the right shampoo for your Sphynx there are a few things to keep in mind. First is that cats have very sensitive noses so it’s best to avoid highly scented shampoos. Second, keep in mind that Sphynx cat’s skin is very sensitive. Most breeders recommend using a mild baby wash but there are also some great cat-specific shampoos out there (just be sure they’re designed for sensitive skins). At the end of the day, the shampoo you choose highly depends on your personal preference and your cat’s skin type.

A good way to keep your cat clean between baths is to wipe them down with a damp washcloth or specialized wipes. These cat wipes are especially good at reducing itchiness/dander and keeping the skin moisturized between baths.

Because Sphynx cat’s don’t have eyelashes they’re predisposed to developing what can scientifically be referred to as ‘goop’ around their eyes and face. You can clean this by using a damp cotton ball or wash cloth (clean) to gently clean around their eyes and wrinkles. You could even use all natural hypoallergenic baby/cat wipe (as listed above). Most cats need their faces cleaned on a daily basis but really it depends on how often you spot gunk around your cat’s face

Sphynx cats require ear cleanings about as often as they receive baths since they don’t have ear hair to wick away dirt.. Start by soaking a cotton ball in mineral oil, coconut oil or a commercially available cat ear cleaner. Rub the cotton ball in the cat’s ear (this’ll help soften any built up gunk). Once you’ve softened everything up use a q-tip (again, soaked in your ear cleaner of choice) to gently scoop out the black build up. Only put the q-tip as far in as you can see since going in any further risks damage to your cat’s ear. If you choose to use coconut oil for this process be sure to use the excess as moisturizer for cats with dry skin.

Now on to the feet care- that’s right, these cats need pedicures. Dirt build up between the toes and around the nail is another unfortunate side effect to hairlessness. Again, this needs to be done about as often as they get baths so some owners choose to clean their Sphynx’s feet as a part of the bathing process. Alternatively, if your cat wants to spend as little time as possible in the water, then all natural hypoallergenic wipes are the way to go.You’re also going to want to clip your cat’s nails every 1-2 weeks. This video demonstrates the entire process quite well.

Due to their tendency for grease build up and exposure to the elements some Sphynx cats can develop black heads and pimples. If your cat develops these ask your vet to point you in the direction a cat-friendly antibacterial soap (never use human products without consulting your vet) and wash the problem area with warm water. Once done, you can wipe the area with a witch hazel soaked cotton ball and rinse the entire acne area with cold water (wash it well as licking witch hazel might make your cat sick). In extreme cases some vets may even recommend benzoyl-peroxide pads (i.e. Stridex Pads) but I wouldn’t use them otherwise. Some people choose to pop their cat’s black heads. Though this does work not all cats tolerate being squeezed so this treatment plan may result in scratches. Still, it’s something to consider and ask your vet about.

Climate & Weather

Due to their hairlessness Sphynx cats are just as susceptible to climate as we are. Because of this, they should always be an indoor only cat (with any outdoor time being heavily regulated). Funnily enough, leash training and walking your Sphynx might be a great way to let them enjoy the outdoors (and greet all the neighbors) in a safe way.

First, lets talk about the cold. Since they lack hair these cats lose body heat very fast (coincidentally this is why they feel so hot to the touch). As any Sphynx veteran will tell you, this breed is always cold. Can’t find your pet? They’re probably curled up under your blankets or snuggling next to another pet for warmth. Because of this, getting your cat a warm bed for them to heat up in is an absolute must. Another important item to add to the shopping list are sweaters. Though some people may scoff at the idea of putting Fluffy in a turtleneck this breed definitely needs it. As a general rule of thumb, if it’s too cold for you to feel comfortable naked then it’s too cold for your cat.

Now time to tackle a different environmental issue: the sun. Sphynx cats- like humans- will tan, get sunburnt and potentially even develop skin cancer if exposed to the sun for prolonged periods of time. Luckily, there are ways to avoid this. First, you should try to limit outdoor time to hours when the sun is less intense (i.e. early morning, late afternoon). Secondly, you could consider getting your cat a ‘sun shirt’ (any lightweight breathable shirt will do) to block the sun’s rays from as much of their body as possible. Lastly, there’s sunscreen.

Sunscreen is kind of a tricky subject when it comes to Sphynx cats due to how sensitive they are. Avoid sunscreens containing zinc oxide as it can cause anemia. Generally speaking, using sunscreen specifically designed for cats is likely your best bet (though some spray-on child sunscreens may work). That being said, not all cat or human products are Sphynx safe so if you feel your cat needs sunscreen then it’s best to ask a vet which brand is right for you.

Litter Boxes

If you’ve owned cats before then I won’t have to tell you that poop's cat-to-litter box transition isn’t always a clean one. I’m talking about what some owners euphemistically refer to as dingleberries (because ‘hardened poop hair’ didn’t have the same ring to it). Sometimes when cats go to the bathroom poop can get caught on their fur and harden into a poop cocoon (for lack of a better word). Fortunately, without fur Sphynx cats never have dingleberries! Unfortunately this does leads to new issues. Though poop may not get caught on their fur it might stay on their skin, ready to be smeared all over the house. Fortunately this issue can be minimized significantly by choosing a proper diet that’ll cause the stool to firm up (ask your vet about the best choice for you) and cleaning the litter box as often as possible. Still, as a Sphynx owner you should be prepared to wipe your not-so furry friend’s bum from time to time.

Common Health Issues

Fortunately, Sphynx cats tend to be a very hardy breed as far as hereditary diseases go. The only major genetic concern for these cats is Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM), a disease found in all domestic cat breeds. HCM is characterized by the thickening of the heart’s wall and can potentially be deadly. A responsible breeder will screen their cats for this disease on a regular basis, but this doesn’t guarantee that a kitten won’t develop it at some point in their lives.

Though some cats with HCM may present labored/rapid breathing, open-mouthed breathing, or lethargy most cats with this condition tend to be asymptomatic. If you suspect your cat might be suffering from HCM, take them to your vet as soon as possible.

Sphynx & Cat Allergies

Ok, I get it. Sphynx are a lot of work. But hey, at least they’re hypoallergenic, right? WRONG. Allergies come down to the Fel-d1 protein found in cat’s saliva and the natural oils produced by their skin, something all cats have. So fur isn’t involved at all? Well, not exactly. When cats groom themselves they inadvertently coat their fur with saliva. When cat’s shed, not only do they get hair everywhere but also the Fel-d1 protein dried to their fur. Because Sphynx cats don’t have any hair to shed it means their allergens are relatively self contained.

That being said, there are plenty of other ways to come in contact with a cat’s saliva/body oils that don’t involve hair. Picking up a cat toy, re-filling their water bowl and even petting your cat are all ways to come in contact with Fel-d1 (which Sphynx cats produce just as much of as any other cat). If you ask me, adopting a cat you can’t pet sounds like a crime- especially when they’re this affectionate.

Though there’s no such thing as a totally hypoallergenic cat (yet) that’s not to say you don’t have options. Allow me to point you in the direction of the Balinese and the Siberian. Both of these cat breeds (which funnily enough have a ton of fur) are renowned for their limited production of the Fel-d1 protein and are both an excellent option for any allergic cat lover.

Acquiring a Sphynx Cat - Warning Signs

So you’ve decided you still want a Sphynx cat, specialized care be damned! Getting your hands on one of these naked beauties, however, is a little tricky. The increasing demand for this breed has created a rise in the amount of scammers looking to make a quick buck off of prospective cat owners. A quick google search will provide dozens of examples of people who bought a cheap Sphynx kitten online only to be sold a normal kitten that had been cruelly de-haired via razor and chemical hair remover. This scam- an unambiguous case of animal abuse- has become appallingly common and something any prospective Sphynx owner needs to look out for. Here are some tips for avoiding these scams:

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is: Here’s the sad reality- Sphynx kittens aren’t cheap. Vaccinating, breeding, feeding and socializing kittens takes time and money and a genuine Sphynx kitten will reflect that. If the kitten you have your eye on is listed for less than $1200, tread with caution.

Trust your gut: If you feel uneasy at any point during the purchasing process, leave and take your money elsewhere.

Make sure the cat is healthy: Before handing over your money check the cat over for any signs of scarring or injury. Their eyes should be bright and alert.

Get a look at the facilities: Because many breeders breed from home it’s likely you’ll only be allowed to visit once a deposit for a percentage of the kitten’s price has already been paid. However, if your breeder refuses to let you pick up your kitten from their breeding facilities and will only meet you at a third party location- run. Meeting your kitten’s parents and making sure they’ve all been kept in good conditions is super important and something you should always try to do.

Stalk their social media: Find out if they have a social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) where they post pictures of their cats, kittens and facilities. Do the cats in the photos look healthy? Do they post photos of their parents? Are the only available photos staged? Does their environment look clean? Are they being socialized? If you can’t visit the breeder in person and have to have the kitten shipped to you this may be as close as you’re going to get to visiting the facilities.

Find a registered breeder: There are plenty of cat breed associations around the world, most of which keep list of breeders with certified cats. Finding a breeder registered with one of these associations is a sure-fire way to know your kitten is legitimate. (TICA: x,x) (CFA: x,x)

Take your kitten to the vet asap: You should be doing this any time you get a new animal regardless of where it’s from or what it is.

If buying a $1200+ kitten seems too expensive I’m happy to report there are other ways to bring one of these wonderful cats into your lives. Believe it or not, there are plenty of purebred cats that need to be rescued. So if you’re getting a Sphynx, why not save a life in the process? (X,X,X,X,X,X)

Parting Words

If you’ve made it this far and still think getting a Sphynx is worth it, then congratulations! Though they are a lot of work Sphynx owners will tell you that it’s all worth it and that once you have a Sphynx, no other cat will do! Whether that’s true or not, this breed will undoubtably make an amazing pet for the right person. If what you want from a pet is someone to snuggle up with under the blankets, then a Sphynx may just be your perfect companion.

#sphynx cat #large mammals #cats #cat breeds #pets #animals #carnivore #Moderate Size Requirement #10-20 Year Lifespan #Kid Friendly #care sheets

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nsjang · 4 years ago

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Sending ma off

7.5.20

Today we held a zoom memorial service for ma. It felt like a good ending to three weeks of preparing and processing her death. It was a big group effort, with everyone contributing in different ways. Bah prepared and organized all the moving parts, his own speech, slide shows, organizing all the people, coordinating the call, figuring out all the small details. Juen made the video, handled and set up the room and lighting and all the tech details. San prepared his speech, handled tech details during the call. Lisa coordinated the mortuary details and people managed and made sure everyone was on task. Sue took care of taeyang and played with him and kept in entertained and happy during all these gatherings when everyone was distracted and running around doing various tasks.

Afterwards, I think everyone felt some type of closure after what felt like a very long period of preparing and planning. Figuring out what to do the day she died. Figuring out scheduling and days off and coordinating with Dave and Katie who had to fly and take more vacation than the rest of us to come. Figuring out whether to cremate or bury, whether to scatter at sea, whether to go with the prescheduled boat or do our own boat, whether to do a cremation viewing or not, everyone preparing and choosing a favorite verse, preparing a short thing to say at the viewing. Going to the viewing. Seeing her decaying flesh 10 days after she died. Crying hard during that, seeing her like that. Waiting a few days to get her remains. Asking about how the cremation went. Seeing the cremated remains. Figuring out how to open the urn with the sliding panel at the top. Looking at the bag of white ashes labeled with her May 30 birthday, and asking if they got that right, and bah confirming they got it right because that is her official birthday even though her real birthday is March 18. Going on the boat, spreading her ashes near the golden gate bridge. On the day of, finessing the room decorations to make sure it wasnt too busy, putting up sheets to cover the back, rearranging all the furniture in the room, figuring out how to put up the four-photo collage my dad printed on 6 8.5x11 pieces of paper, how to arrange the 20+ flower sets we received from people all over, figuring out the microphone sound settings, testing the sound, making sure the english translation was correct, making sure people knew how to dial in to the english translation number which was audio only but also the main channel that had the video and chinese audio. planning a week ahead to make sure that taeyang’s nap was right before the scheduled memorial service at 4pm PT. Checking how high of a setting we could put the fans to make sure we would not all melt while suited up, how to sit and arrange ourselves without looking too tacky. is the camera straight? Where do we put the laptop? We should put it up high above the webcam we ordered so we are all looking at the general direction of the camera while looking at the computer screen. Figuring out how to stack up chairs and fasten them together, along with a cardboard box, to place the laptop on, making sure it’s secure. Securing the microphone to a chair with a long metal rod so the mic is close enough to the speaker’s face. worrying if the various videos and slideshows we prepared would play properly. Ordering faster internet so we could have faster upload speeds. Do we have the right numbers for people in korea and taiwan to call in?

And it all went smoothly. My mom impacted a lot of people. It was comforting to hear all the various people from various parts of her life speak about her, remember her, uplift her, reinforce what we collectively remember about her.

at the very end, we got to talk very briefly to san san shu shu, mei mei, and shen shen. he told us to take care of our dad. we promised we would.

afterwards, everyone felt relief. we all went for a walk, even bah came, where he refused every time the week before. jon was talkative and telling lisa to stop cleaning, where before the memorial he was the one fussing with all the small details.

my own speech, which i shed some tears while drafting, but thankfully was able to hold together while giving it:

We are here today to celebrate the life of my mom, Emma Sun, or who I know her as: mah or mommie. For anybody that doesn’t know me, my name is Nathan, and I am my mom’s eldest son. My two younger brothers, Jon and Dave, are also here, as well as my wife Sue, my son Taeyang, Jon’s wife Lisa, and David’s wife Katie.

My mom’s life was about sacrifice. She sacrificed everything for her family, and for her kids. She often told me the story that when she was studying for her chemistry PhD at Stony Brook in New York, she was pregnant with me and studied with a heavy textbook resting on her growing belly. When I was born, she was just one semester into her PhD. My mom and dad went to see the university’s daycare program, but she decided to quit her PhD and take care of me full time instead.

There were times in my life where I did not fully appreciate her sacrifices or dedication to us. I remember one time in high school I told her, why didn’t you just send us to daycare? We would have been more socialized. Look at my friend—his parents sent him to daycare and he is way more sociable and popular than I am. See, you didn’t have to sacrifice and give up your life for us. But now, as a parent myself, I understand how hurtful those words must have been to her. Now I understand just a bit more the reason she gave up her career for us.

She ensured that her kids had the best and received as much resources as she could provide. Every Sunday she would dress all three of us in matching outfits. Every holiday party we were in matching bowties and vests that she sewed herself. Our school lunches were hand-packed with healthy fruits and vegetables and sandwiches. And she made sure we ate our vitamins every night, which some of us did not always follow. One time when we were in elementary school and we were moving to a different house, we moved Jon’s mattress. Underneath we found a giant stash of fluoride pills that Jon had secretly spit out every night after the lights were turned out. My mom loved to tell that story to show how mischievous Jon was.

She diligently researched the best books for us to read, and encouraged us to read biographies of great people so we could have role models to shape our own lives. She made sure we had piano lessons, violin lessons, drum lessons, bass guitar lessons, soccer during the fall, basketball in the winter, baseball in the spring, summer camps to go every year, Chinese school after church on Sunday, and even the dreaded Kumon.

When we were in high school, she encouraged us to study hard, but she also emphasized and demonstrated the importance of generosity and hospitality. We never had any hesitation to invite large gatherings over to our place, because we knew that our mom would prepare plenty of food and snacks for all who came over. We would invite the entire church youth group over to our house after church to hang out in the summer, watch movies in our basement, while my mom constantly prepared plates of snacks for people to pass around. Then we would head to the back porch where my mom and dad would prepare dinner for twenty hungry teenagers.

In college as well, my mom welcomed many of my international friends over during the longer breaks, as they often had no place to go to during the holidays. One thanksgiving break in college, I invited my then girlfriend Sue to my house, along with two other friends. Even before my mom knew that we were dating, she treated Sue like her own daughter the very first time they met. Sue remembers that her guest room was always prepared with love and care. Every Christmas break since then, my mom would prepare a gift for Sue as well. This past Christmas, my mom handed down her own nativity set and Christmas tree so that Sue can continue the tradition of having a warm and generous holiday spirit.

As we got older and moved away to college and jobs, my mom regularly checked on each one of us, gave us personally tailored advice, and made sure we were eating healthily, sleeping enough, living a balanced lifestyle, and most importantly, that we were keeping up and growing closer to God. She initiated family gatherings every year to make sure that we all spent time together at least once a year.

My mom taught me that the most important things in life are first and foremost my relationship with God, and second, my family. She made sure that I didn’t get too focused on my job at the cost of my family and my health. My mom taught me that by being generous with your time and energy, you will gain much more than you give. And my mom taught me to always strive to be better, to seek excellence, but to do it all honestly and without ever forgetting that money is not the most important thing in life, that character, and the way you carry yourself, is much more important.

Often times my mom may have thought her words fell on deaf ears, on her unappreciative and often-times stubborn kids. And although it may have taken some time for me to fully understand the sacrifices you have made and the wisdom you constantly tried to impart to us, now I at least understand and appreciate you more. I will strive to remember your words and the lessons you have taught us.

In your last days, we saw your tenacity for life and your strength, your will to live, and your ability to endure great suffering. At all times, you clung onto God and urged us to as well. Even your last words to us, you made us promise to read the Bible, pick a favorite verse to help guide our footsteps. You wanted to ensure that all of us would promise to pursue and grow closer to God. And I promise here again that I will do that.

Thank you ma. May you rest in peace.

Chanyoung sent a note: Nate, your tribute was deeply touching. (I cried...) As one of the "international students" who found home away home thanks to Mrs. Sun's hospitality, I am grateful and indebted. Until now I didn't know about the ailments she had to endure for the past three years--may she rest in peace, finally at home with God after her sojourn on earth. Praying that God's peace, and knowledge that she's in God's care, comfort and strengthen your family in this difficult time. Speak to you soon.

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fiftyeightminutes · 7 years ago

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@sensatejenn promoted via messenger: “hey! I know ur probably busy and bombarded with requests, but could u write a kalagang college au?”

Okay. So apparently I had a lot of feelings about this Kalagang college AU??? Because this ended up being almost 10,000 words and taking me almost a week to write. I hope it was worth the wait! I also wrote a different Kalagang college au, but I wanted to try going in another direction with this one.

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When Kala had been deciding where she wanted to go to university, she hadn’t initially wanted to leave the country. She loves her family, and studying right there in Bombay was good enough for her. But her father encouraged her to broaden her horizons and at least apply to colleges abroad – after all, there were many great biochemistry programs overseas that could offer her a variety of career opportunities. After sending off the applications, Kala hadn’t thought too much about it. It would be months before she heard back, so she figured there was no point in speculating.

But then Rajan Rasal comes into her life. He is handsome, only a few years older, and most importantly rich. When he begins courting her, Kala’s family is thrilled. Rajan is smart and kind, and with her family’s happiness in mind she decides to give him a chance. It’s nice enough – not passionate or overwhelming like in the films she loves, but she figures life can’t always be like the movies. And she does have fun with him. They have things in common, like their love for chemistry, and sometimes they just talk for a while. Kala isn’t in love with Rajan, but she likes him enough that she doesn’t find herself wanting to break up with him.

That is, until he proposes. Rajan comes to her house one night, toward the end of the school year, and asks her parents for her hand in marriage once she graduates. He says of course he would still want her to study, that she can go to school locally and pursue her career, that he would never dream of taking that from her. Kala can see the joy in her parents’ faces, the look of expectation in Rajan’s eyes, and she panics. Barely managing to say, “I need time to think,” she runs to her room so she can freak out in peace.

Once in her bedroom, Kala lets the panic flood through her. Her family wants her so badly to do this, but this is nothing she has planned for herself. As she paces back and forth across the room, her eyes fall on a stack of letters she hadn’t seen before. (In the back of her head, she remembers her mother saying something about dropping mail off in her room earlier that day, but that had been before Rajan arrived and everything before that moment kind of feels like a blur right now.) Shakily, Kala picks up the envelopes and sits on her bed.

Each of them has a different kind of postmark on it. As she examines them, she realizes these must be letters from the universities that she applied to several months before. Not knowing what else to do with herself in that moment, she starts feverishly tearing each envelope open, not even reading one letter before moving on to the next. Soon, she’s surrounded by the open mail. Tentatively, she begins to let herself finally read the letters. (Kala tries not to think about what she will do if she was only accepted to local universities, what that will mean for her future now.) It’s a healthy mix of acceptances and denials, but the acceptances are mostly from India and the denials are mostly out of the country. Kala feels her heart sink a bit more with each international postmark that holds a rejection. But finally, after she feels like she may be stuck having to choose between living with Rajan or her family’s disappointed faces, she opens the envelope postmarked from the United States. Inside it she finds a thick packet of paper, the first of which starts with, “Miss Kala Dandekar, we are very pleased to accept you into Elizabeth Hamilton University.” She can’t read the rest through the tears of relief that begin streaming down her face.

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Later that night, Kala talks with her parents. She doesn’t outright say she doesn’t want to marry Rajan (she doesn’t know if she could handle their crestfallen faces if she did), but she tells them about the acceptance from an American university. Kala reminds her father of all the opportunities he had spoken of when he convinced her to apply, reminds her mother of how important this could be for her career. After some discussion they agree that if nothing else, she is too young to get married yet. (Her mother had been younger, but she understands that times have changed.)

Kala doesn’t end up breaking off her relationship with Rajan, but her parents do tell him that they cannot accept the proposal until she is older. For his part, Rajan is as sweet as ever. He nods in acceptance and smiles, saying he is more than willing to wait. Their chaste courtship continues through the next few months, even as Kala makes preparations to leave the country.

As August rolls around, both her parents and Rajan offer to fly with her to help her get settled, but she politely declines. Kala already feels guilty enough about how expensive her own plane ticket is, she wouldn’t want to put them out any further. (That, and this is something she wants to do on her own. But she doesn’t want to hurt any of them by saying that.)

So that’s how, after a very long flight, Kala finds herself alone as she gets out of a taxi and arrives at her university. After fighting her way through the massive crowd of other first-year students, Kala is finally given her dorm assignment and room key. She’s been assigned to the building for international students, and she finds herself feeling a bit relieved. At least she won’t be the only one who is new to everything.

When she gets to her room on the second floor, Kala she notices two things. One, that she is the first to arrive and two, she seems to have been assigned to a triple room. The other two girls are already there. One of them is pale, her hair bleached entirely blonde except for one streak of electric blue. She introduces herself as Riley Gunnarsdóttir, but says Kala can call her “Riley Blue” if she prefers. The other girl is thin, but even though her clothes Kala can see that her muscles are lean. Her hair is black, cropped short and framing her round face. She introduces herself as Bak Sun, but tells Kala she doesn’t mind if people call her Sun.

They spend some time unpacking and getting to know each other, and Kala decides that even though both of these women are very different than she, she likes them. When her stomach starts to growl, it seems only natural that she invite the other two along to see if they can find the dining hall.

In the hall of their dorm, they run into two boys. One of them is tall and lanky, the other stockier and with a square build. Half of their furniture is in the hallway as they try to rearrange their small two-person dorm room. Between the two of them, they are carrying a dresser back into the room while debating which way it should face. (Well, more accurately, the skinnier one is debating with himself where to put the dressed while the other boy mostly nods along.) As Kala and her roommates pass, it becomes evident that the thinner boy is starting to lose his grip on the dresser. Just as he is starting to swear and try to readjust his hold, Sun is suddenly there beside him and lifting it out of his hands. The other boy raises his eyebrow and teases his friend in German. The friend replies something that Kala is pretty sure translates to “fuck off,” but there’s laughter in it. Together, the three of them move it into the room and place it where the skinny boy motions.

“Thank you,” the boy says. “I’m Felix, by the way. This here is Wolfie.”

The other one glares at him briefly. “Wolfgang,” he corrects.

Sun raises her eyebrow while Riley asks, “Really?”

He nods, and Felix laughs heartily. “I know. I couldn’t believe it either when I found out, but it’s true.”

Riley laughs as well, and Sun smiles softly. Kala looks to Wolfgang to see whether or not he minds them joking at his expense, only to find that he is looking directly at her. His gaze is intense, fierce blue eyes locking with her warm brown ones. Kala’s not sure exactly how to describe what she feels in that moment – it’s like lightning down her spine, sticking her to the spot so she can’t look away from him. (It’s nothing, nothing like when she looks at Rajan. She tries not to think about that.)

The others continue to talk, getting acquainted and not really noticing that Kala and Wolfgang are lost in each other until Felix says, “Sound good, Wolfie?”

“What?” Wolfgang asks, blinking and looking at his friend.

“If they come with us to that party on Friday?” Felix elaborates, a look of amusement on his face. (Kala wonders if this is just normal for Wolfgang. If he stares at people and gets lost in them all the time. But she has no way of knowing, and finds herself wondering why she even cares.)

“Oh, sure,” Wolfgang agrees with a nod.

“How do you guys already know about a party?” Riley asks, mischief in her eyes. “Aren’t you exchange students as well?”

“Ah,” Felix says, pausing a moment to think before he speaks. (It’s the first time he has really done so, all of his other talk so far seeming very off-the-cuff. It makes Kala curious.) “Well, we are not American.”

The girls can see Wolfgang resisting the urge to scold Felix for such a half-assed answer. Rather than letting his friend fumble, Wolfgang follows up with, “We moved here as permanent residents after graduating, but our school records are still in German. So they put us here.”

“Oh?” Kala asks. “You moved together? What about your families?”

At this, Felix goes stiff and Wolfgang’s face hardens. After an awkward moment, Felix just answers, “We’re all the family we need.”

Clearly sensing that this conversation is going nowhere good, Sun finally speaks up. “We’re heading to dinner. We will see you around,” she says, giving them all look that leaves no room for further discussion of the matter.

Wolfgang nods as Felix says, “Oh, sure. See you ladies later.”

As Kala and her roommates leave their dorm room to find the dining hall, Kala finds herself wishing they had invited the boys along.

---

Orientation starts the next day, Thursday. The college has all of the first year students arrive a few days before the upperclassmen so they can be get acquainted with things before classes officially start. Kala wakes up a few hours before the first orientation event. She’s always been an early riser, enjoying a nice shower before her family (and now her dormmates) are awake. As it happens, she finds that Sun also seems to be a morning person. After turning off turning off her alarm, Kala rises to see Sun is already up and exercising. (Kala thinks Sun is doing Tai Chi, but she’s not exactly an expert.)

Giving Sun a wordless smile, Kala quietly gathers her toiletries so as not to rouse Riley. Sun smiles back before returning to her practiced movements. Donned in her bathrobe in flip-flops, Kala makes her way to the bathroom. She showers relatively quickly, not wanting to use up too much of the hot water, and after stopping by one of the sinks quickly to brush her teeth, she heads back to the hallway.

There, she is met with a nude Wolfgang. “Oh!” she shouts, turning away from him instantly.

He chuckles, then wraps a towel around himself. “I didn’t think anyone else would be awake.”

“So you just walk around naked?” Kala asks incredulously.

“You can turn around now, I’m decent,” he says in lieu of an answer.

She turns, but when seeing that his version of “decent” is just the towel slung around his hips, Kala averts her gaze. “That is not what I would call decency,” she says with a huff.

“Then why did you look?” Wolfgang asks with a smirk.

“I did not,” Kala says, but her eyes can’t help wandering.

“Yes you did,” he replies. “You looked then and you’re looking now.”

“I’m not,” she protests weakly, now making a point of looking up at the ceiling.

Wolfgang just chuckles again. “If you say so,” he says before walking into the men’s bathroom.

Still feeling flustered, Kala rushes back to her room. When she gets there, she sees Riley is now awake as well. The blonde girl is blearily checking her phone while Sun is grabbing her own shower supplies, but the both turn to look when Kala hastily enters.

“You alright?” Riley asks sleepily.

Kala nods shyly. Looking concerned, Sun asks, “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing, I just ran into Wolfgang,” Kala says, but she can’t meet either of their eyes.

“What did he do?” Sun asks.

“No, he didn’t – he didn’t do anything to me, I swear,” she says. (Kala knows this would be easier if she just came out and said what happened, but she already feels like she might combust from embarrassment just thinking about it.)

“Then why do you just look like you saw a ghost?” Riley asks.

Finally cracking a bit, Kala looks at Riley. “Not a ghost. It was…he was naked,” she finally admits.

After a moment of stunned silence, both Sun and Riley burst out laughing. “He what?” Riley asks.

“He said he didn’t think anyone was going to be awake and was walking to the shower? I didn’t really think to ask more than that,” Kala replies, covering her face.

Sun walks over and gently pulls Kala’s hands down, then looks her directly in the eyes. “So he did not hurt you or say anything he should not have?” she asks. Kala shakes her head. Sun smiles. “Then you have nothing to be upset about. You are here to study science, yes?”

Kala nods slowly. “Biochemistry.”

Sun’s smile widens. “Just think of it as a lesson in anatomy. The human body is nothing to be ashamed of.” Kala takes a deep breath to steady herself, while Riley does her best to hold in a giggle.

---

As Kala’s luck would have it, the exchange students have all been grouped together for orientation. (She knows it makes sense, given they’ll need an introduction to the country as well as the university itself. Still, she wishes she could have at least had some time to process things before being put in a room with Wolfgang again.) Kala sticks close to Riley and Sun, sitting with them toward the front of the room they’ve made their way into. Compared to the other groups of students she sees through the door streaming into other rooms, she realizes that there probably aren’t that many first-year exchange students. Her stomach drops a bit.

Kala chats with Riley, trying to keep herself from watching the door to see when Wolfgang (and likely Felix) will come through. Sun is mostly listening to their conversation, but Kala gets the feeling Sun also knows what Kala is doing. Neither of the boys have arrived, though, by the time an older man walks through the door and closes it behind him. The chatter across the room dies down, as the man takes his place in the front of the room.

The man appears to be Indian, but when he speaks it is with an English accent. “Hello. You don’t know me yet, but I’m Dr. Maliki, head of the International Student Services Department. We’ll likely all get acquainted at some point or another. But in the meantime –”

He is interrupted by the door bursting open suddenly. Through it runs a haggard looking Felix, trailed immediately by Wolfgang (whose look can only be described as affectionately frustrated). “Sorry, sorry! Slept through my alarm!” Felix calls, hastily making his way to the first seat he can find. Wolfgang takes a seat next to him, just nodding at the professor in his own apology.

Dr. Maliki sighs, then nods in return. “Adjusting to new time zones is one of the things we will be trying to help you with,” he says with a bit of a smirk. “As I was saying, on behalf of the International Student Services Department, I would like to welcome you to Elizabeth Hamilton University.”

As he continues his introductions, Kala tries to listen attentively. She can’t help getting the feeling that she is being watched, though. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Wolfgang is not looking ahead at all, but over toward her. He doesn’t seem to be staring at her directly, so much as staring off into space in general, bored with what he is hearing. After a few moments, though, Wolfgang seems to notice that she is looking in his direction. He gives her a sly grin. Blushing, Kala turns to face Dr. Maliki more directly.

---

The rest of their first day of orientation is mostly uneventful. They are introduced to some of the other members of the International Student Services Department, then each of them are handed thick folders emblazoned with the university’s logo. They’re given a tour of the school, then sent on their way to read through their folders on their own time. When Kala opens hers, she finds it is full of a wide variety of information – everything from signup packets for English for Speakers of Other Languages classes to a pamphlet on local public transportation. When they go back to their dorm, Kala, Riley, and Sun spend a while just looking through their folders and discussing which things are actually useful.

Half of the contents of their folders are on the floor when there is a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Riley calls.

“Felix!” comes back through the door, muffled slightly by the wood.

Kala looks quickly between her roommates – Riley is grinning, while Sun has just raised an eyebrow. Before Kala can say anything, Riley says, “Come in!” (Kala resists the urge to glare at her new roommate.)

Just as she worried, Felix is not alone behind the door. As always, Wolfgang is beside. (Kala finds herself wondering what happened to make these two so close. Family, as Felix had said. But they had made it clear it wasn’t something they wanted to talk about, and she knows she has done nothing to earn their trust.) “To what do we owe the pleasure?” Sun asks, half-sarcastic.

“We were just wondering if you wanted to come get dinner with us. Figure us strangers in this new land have to stick together, right?” Felix replies with a laugh.

Riley eyes him skeptically. “Didn’t you say you guys had moved here before the semester started?”

He nods. “We did, but we’re just as new to the campus as you.”

Sun rolls her eyes and Riley laughs softly. “Alright, I’ll bite. Sun, Kala, you in?”

Rather than answering immediately, Sun looks to Kala. (Kala knows Sun is silently asking if this is okay, or if she would prefer to stay behind. Kala is so grateful for it that she finds the bundle of nerves in her stomach starting to ease.) “I could eat,” Kala says, giving Sun a reassuring smile.

Sun nods her assent and stands up, unceremoniously leaving various scattered pieces of paper around her. Taking a little more care, Kala picks up some of the papers she plans on keeping and puts them back into her folder before standing. Riley sort of pushes the paper on her bed into a pile so she at least doesn’t knock it over, but she doesn’t bother putting anything back into her own folder. When they’re ready to go, Felix steps back to give them room to exit. “After you, ladies.”

Stopping mid-step, Sun gives him a look. “If you genuinely would like to foster a friendship with any of us, I recommend you start referring to us by name rather than ‘ladies’.”

There is a moment of silence in which Felix looks stunned, and then Wolfgang bursts out laughing. (Kala realizes it’s the loudest she’s ever heard him been, the look of joy on his face the most real that she has seen from him. It makes her sad to realize, and she’s not quite sure why.) To his credit, Felix doesn’t take long to recover. “Fair enough,” he says with a grin. “After you, Sun.”

Sun nods in approval, moving forward once again. Giggling, Kala and Riley follow after, with Felix and Wolfgang bringing up the rear. As they walk, Felix’s lengthy strides catch him up to Riley and Sun, and Kala finds herself lagging behind a bit until she is walking beside Wolfgang. When he notices, he gives her a smile. It’s different than the ones she’s shot her before – it’s not smug. This one is smaller, more gentle. (Kala notices that this one reaches his eyes, and she feels her heart flutter a bit.)

“Sorry if I startled you this morning,” Wolfgang says. The smile stays on his face, but something about the way he says it tells Kala he means it.

Looking down in embarrassment, Kala shakes her head a bit. “It’s okay.”

He shrugs. “I mean, I don’t mind. But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Kala lets out a nervous laugh. She finds herself wishing she could be like Sun, so blasé about nudity. (And, well, most things it seemed.) It’s not like she had never gotten curious – she had the internet after all. But it was one thing to see a photo in the quiet of her own room back home, another thing to see a naked man in person. In the end, rather than acknowledging her own discomfort, Kala decides to counter with her other thoughts on the situation. “So do you and Felix just walk around without clothes on in your room all the time?”

“Us Germans are not so uptight about nudity,” Wolfgang answers, smile turning mischievous.

“I’ve noticed,” Kala replies, laughing for real this time. “Well for the sake of us non-Germans you are now living with, at least consider some clothes next time?”

Now Wolfgang is laughing in return. “I’ll give it some thought.” (Kala finds herself noticing how his eyes light up when his smile is genuine. Finds herself wanting to keep seeing that light. She knows nothing about him, but between this mysterious past and generally stoic demeanor, Kala feels like Wolfgang doesn’t have enough light in his life.)

They walk the rest of the way to the dining hall quietly, fondly listening to Felix and Riley discuss music ahead of them.

(“Wait, you’re THE Riley Blue?”

“I don’t know if it needs a ‘the’ in front of it, but yes. That’s me.”

“Holy shit, Wolfie! Did you know we’re going to school with a DJ legend?”)

Once the group arrives at the cafeteria, Felix looks around for a second before bounding over and standing by a large table. “This one look okay to you guys?” he asks.

Wolfgang nods and takes a seat. “I’ll hold it while you guys get some food.”

“Are you sure?” Kala asks immediately. (She’s not sure why she’s so concerned, but it’s too late to take it back by the time she starts to wonder.)

He shoots her another one of his grins. “It’s fine. I’ll just get some when you guys get back.”

“Thanks, Wolfie!” Felix calls, then starts heading toward one of the lines for food. Figuring they can follow his lead when it comes to whether they should accept Wolfgang at his word, the girls go to find food for themselves as well.

There are a few different lines, each leading to a different kind of food selection. After looking for a bit, Kala finds a shorter line with some vegetarian options, and she quickly moves through it. (She’s not a vegetarian, necessarily, but she doesn’t eat beef and she’s realized that that is half the meat in the cafeteria. The vegetarian line seems like a safe choice until she becomes more familiar with her other options.) After she fills her plate and grabs herself a mug of tea, Kala heads back to the table.

When Kala there, she finds she is the first one to have gotten her food. She sits across from Wolfgang and gives him a smile. “You can go get some now, if you want,” Kala says.

Wolfgang shrugs. “I’ll go in a minute.” He looks at her food with some interest. “Find anything edible?”

She laughs and looks at her plate. It’s nothing spectacular, but she figures cafeteria food could also certainly be worse. “They said this was eggplant parmesan,” Kala offers. “I’ve never had it before, so I’m not sure if this is what it’s supposed to look like. But it smells alright.”

He gestures at her food. “Well, give it a try. It probably won’t kill you – they can’t get your tuition money if you’re dead,” Wolfgang says with a smirk.

Kala laughs again and figures it can’t hurt, so she picks up her fork and takes a bite. It’s not bad – a little chewier than she thinks the eggplant probably should be, but the parmesan and marinara sauce at least give it a good flavor. She considers it, and when she swallows she decides, “Not too bad.”

“Think I should get some?” he asks.

Rather than answering directly, Kala cuts off a piece. “You can try some, if you want,” she offers.

Wolfgang raises his eyebrows in question, and she nods to confirm she’s serious. “Sure, why not?” he says, leaning across the table.

Holding her other hand under the fork so none of the sauce drips, Kala leans forward and brings the food to Wolfgang’s lips. Tentatively, he takes the bite and slowly leans back as he experiences the flavors. “What do you think?” Kala asks. (She means to only be asking about the food, but she finds her palms getting clammy at how intimate the moment they just shared must have looked to anyone from the outside.)

Wolfgang licks his lips to get any stray sauce (Kala’s eyes can’t help following his tongue), then gives her one of his small, real smiles. “I like it,” he answers, and the look in his eyes tell Kala he knows they’re not just talking about food anymore.

Of course, this is the moment Felix comes back to the table. Oblivious to what was happening before he arrives, he loudly puts his cup and plate on the table, pulling Kala and Wolfgang out of the moment. They both lean back in their chairs, away from each other. “Hey, Wolfie, you haven’t gotten food yet?” Felix asks.

Standing up and pushing in his chair, Wolfgang answers, “I was just about to get up.” He doesn’t look directly at Kala, but his hand gently brushes her shoulder as he walks past her. The small touch sends a shiver down her spine, and after it comes a wave of guilt.

What am I doing? Kala asks herself. What about Rajan? But even as she thinks it, she knows it was never like this with him. In just two days, Kala had felt more in her small interactions with Wolfgang than she ever had in her months with Rajan. This only serves to make her feel guiltier, though. She has a good man waiting for her back home in Bombay, and some random German boy is putting butterflies in her stomach? Kala may not love Rajan, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are in a committed relationship. She knows it would hurt him to know she was feeling this way about someone else.

Never having been good at hiding her feelings, Kala’s internal conflict comes across in her demeanor. Riley is the next to come back to the table. When she does, she sees Kala and sits right next to her, leaning in and quietly asking, “Is everything alright? Did Felix say something?”

Kala shakes her head, trying to bring her mind back to the here and now. This is not the time or place to worry. She can deal with this later. “I’m fine,” she whispers back.

Riley gives her a look that says, We’ll talk more about this later, but for now she lets the issue go. Soon enough, Sun and Wolfgang are back with their food as well. When Wolfgang gets back, he shoots Kala a grin. She tries to smile back, but she knows it doesn’t look quite convincing because Wolfgang’s face quickly falls back to its usual look of neutral stoicism. (And in spite of herself, that only makes Kala wonder about him all the more. How can someone go from so expressive one minute to completely inscrutable the next?) The rest of the meal continues without incident, Felix and Riley carrying on most of the conversation as the rest of them listen and eat.

When they’re finished, they head back to the dorm together. This time, Kala makes a point of trying to contribute to the main conversation, hoping the others will forget about her sudden change in mood earlier. Just like last time, Wolfgang matches her pace and walks beside her, but he doesn’t talk this time around. As they get to the boys’ room, Felix grins and says, “Well, I guess we’ll see you bright and early tomorrow?”

“If you manage to wake up,” Sun quips in reply.

“Ouch. Sun, you wound me,” Felix answers, but the look of amusement never leaves his face.

“See you then,” Riley agrees with her own soft smile.

Wolfgang gives Kala one last lingering look as Felix unlocks their room, then turns and enters behind his friend. Kala sighs, and when the boys’ door closes Riley looks at her. “Okay, we are talking about this.”

“What?” Kala says, feigning ignorance.

Sun gives Kala a look, and now it is Riley’s turn to sigh. “We don’t have to do it here, but there is something clearly going on between the two of you.”

Kala looks down in embarrassment. “Can we please go back to the room?” she asks quietly. Both Riley and Sun nod, and together they walk back to their dorm room.

When Riley closes the door behind her, she starts asking questions before either Sun or Kala even have a chance to settle in. “Okay, so what made you so upset at dinner? What is happening with you and Wolfgang?”

Putting her face in her hands, Kala sits on her bed. “I don’t know. That’s the problem.”

“Why is it a problem?” Sun asks.

Kala laughs weakly. “Because I have a boyfriend?”

Riley steps toward her. “You what? Why haven’t we heard about this guy?”

“It’s…things are complicated between us right now.”

“The distance?” Sun asks.

Kala shakes her head. “The distance is because things are complicated,” she says, knowing it doesn’t really explain anything. She still can’t bring herself to meet their eyes, choosing to keep her head buried in her hands instead.

“Did he do something to you?” Riley asks cautiously.

Shaking her head again, Kala finds herself blinking back tears. “No, he’s – Rajan is perfect. He’s kind, and smart, and my parents love him. Rajan has only ever been good to me. And he comes from a good family. Everyone says he’s perfect for me,” Kala finally says. She knows she’s rambling, but she can’t help it. Now that she’s opened the flood gates, she can’t close them again. “He wants me to marry him, and I should want to. There is no reason not to,” she says, tears finally rolling down her cheeks.

“But you do not love him,” Sun deducts. Taking a deep breath to try to calm down, Kala shakes her head no.

“Oh, Kala,” Riley says sadly, plopping down next to her on the bed and giving Kala a tight hug. Sun sits on the other side of them, not joining the hug but offering her support all the same. For a few minutes, Kala just cries into Riley’s shoulder. She lets the sobs wrack through her body, finally done resisting the truth. “Did you agree to marry him?” Riley asks when Kala starts to calm a bit.

“I told him I would have to think about it,” Kala replies, voice wavering.

At that, Riley pulls back a bit, looking Kala in the eyes. “What is there to think about?”

Sun, however, understands more where Kala is coming from. “Your family would be happy if you married this man, yes?”

Kala nods. “I love my family. They have given me everything – they were willing to let me study on the other side of the world so I can have a career in medicine. I don’t want to disappoint them. They were so excited when Rajan proposed…how could I say no?”

Both Riley and Sun take this in quietly for a few moments. Then Sun nods, more to herself than either of them, like she’s decided something. “It sounds like, more than anything, your parents want you to be happy. Were they mad when you did not say yes right away?”

Slowly, Kala shakes her head. “No…. They understood that I wanted to go to university first.”

Sun gives her a small smile. “Then I believe they will understand why you cannot marry Rajan, as well.”

Riley gives Kala a hopeful look, starting understanding what Sun is getting at. “If they were willing to let you postpone your answer in order to study in America, I think they care more about your happiness than whether or not you marry Rajan. There’s no guarantee for them that he’ll wait that long, but they were willing to let you come here. If they really cared more about you marrying him, they wouldn’t have wanted you to leave.”

Kala takes a deep, steadying breath. She realizes they’re not wrong. Her parents could easily have changed their minds about her going to school abroad, saying it was too expensive or that they preferred she stay closer to home after all. But they chose to let her go. “I guess you’re right,” Kala says, giving them a watery smile. This time, both Sun and Riley pull her into a hug together.

After a minute or two, Riley giggles and asks, “Okay, so now that that’s out of the way, what about Wolfgang?”

Sun laughs. “I don’t even know,” Kala says with a groan. “Whatever it was, I think I may have messed that up, too.”

“What do you mean?” Riley asks.

Dejectedly, Kala tells them about her brief conversations with Wolfgang as they walked to the dining hall and when she’d sat down with her food. She explains that neither conversation held much substance, but the way he looked at her made her feel like he was always hinting at more. She tells them about letting him try her food (Riley just “aww”s at this), and then how the guilt had fled through her the moment he was no longer in her sight. Kala explains that this is when Riley showed up and asked how she was doing, and that when Wolfgang saw that there was something wrong how the emotion completely fell from his face.

“What if I ruined everything with both Rajan and Wolfgang?” Kala asks, anxiety spilling into her voice.

Sun just shakes her head. “With Rajan, there is nothing to ruin. And with Wolfgang, he does not seem someone to lose interest so quickly. He said he did not want to make you uncomfortable, yes?” Kala nods, and Sun returns it. “It is likely he was worried by your sudden change in demeanor. He probably did not want to make you uncomfortable again. But since he does not know why your attitude changed, he does not know what he did to bring about your discomfort.”

Now Riley is smiling. “Exactly. You just have to talk to him!”

“What do I tell him” Kala asked. “That I was feeling guilty about how attracted I am to him because of my boyfriend back home in Bombay?”

Riley winces. “You should probably take care of the boyfriend in Bombay part first.”

Kala bites her lip. She has no idea how she’s going to do this. She wants to believe Sun and Riley, but there is a small part of her that is still terrified of her family’s reaction if she breaks things off with Rajan. Well, on the bright side, no matter how mad they are they’re not going to see you for months either way, Kala tells herself. After a few moments she says, “Would it be too cold to do it through an email?”

Sun smirks and Riley laughs. “Normally?” Riley starts, “I would say yes. But given the time difference, it may be kinder than setting up a time to talk just to break things off.”

So with some assistance from her roommates, Kala writes two emails. The first is to her family, explaining to them what she plans on doing and why. By the time she’s finished typing, Kala is almost crying again. “I hope they don’t hate me,” she says quietly when she hits the “Send” button.

Riley puts one arm around Kala gently. “They won’t hate you. They may be upset at first, but they will understand in the end why you can’t marry Rajan.”

Taking a shaky breath, Kala wipes at the tears in the corner of her eyes, then get started writing her letter to Rajan. This one is more rambling – Kala doesn’t want to leave any potential questions unanswered so that this can just be finished. It takes her longer to write, but after running the content by her roommates (who obviously can’t actually proofread in Hindi), Kala finally sends the message off. Stomach turning, she watches the message move from her “Outbox” to “Sent Messages” folder. There is no turning back now.

“Are you okay?” Riley asks afterward.

Rather than answering, Kala leans over and wraps her arms around Riley. After a brief moment, Kala also reaches an arm out and pulls Sun into the hug, too. “I think…I think I needed to do that,” she whispers into them.

Smiling, Sun lifts Kala’s head up so their eyes are meeting. “I think you did, too.”

---

That night, Kala sleeps the best she has in a long time. She hadn’t realized just how anxious everything with Rajan was still making her until it was done. Now, she is here in America with no obligations or expectations except toward her schooling – just the way she had always imagined university should be (except maybe for the America part). When she wakes up the next morning, she feels better than she can remember feeling for a long time, jetlag be damned. Once again, Sun is already awake and doing tai chi when Kala gets up. Giving Sun a small smile, Kala changes into her bathrobe and grabs her toiletries to go start getting ready for the day.

This morning, Wolfgang is exiting the men’s room as Kala walks down the hall toward the women’s showers. He’s clearly already washed, water still dripping off his hair and rolling down his bare chest. (Kala notes thankfully that he at least has a towel around his waist this time.) Doing her best not to stare, she makes a point to look him in the eyes when she says, “Good morning.”

Wolfgang stops in his tracks, clearly surprised that she has addressed him. To his credit, though, he recovers quickly. He shoots her a grin. “Morning.” Now that he’s paying attention to her, he can tell that where she is making a point of not looking. His grin becomes a bit smug. “I wore a towel today,” he jokes, as if she hasn’t noticed.

“Yes. I, uh, I noticed that,” Kala replies, hoping her embarrassment isn’t obvious. “Um, thank you,” she offers, not sure what else to say.

And whatever he had expected from her, it must not have been that. Surprise quickly passes through Wolfgang’s eyes before his smile softens. “Like I said. I did not want to make you uncomfortable.”

Even though him in a towel is still far more than she is used to seeing, Kala’s heart warms knowing he was thinking of her. She wonders if maybe Sun was right about Wolfgang after all. “I appreciate it,” she replies softly.

Wolfgang continues to look smile at her for a moment, and Kala can tell there is something more he wants to say. But then the moment is gone, and instead of whatever it he was thinking he tells her, “Well, I’ll see you at orientation.”

Swallowing hard, Kala nods. “See you then.”

He nods back, then heads back to his room. Once the door has closed behind him, Kala releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

---

The second day of orientation is uneventful. Dr. Maliki hands out their schedules and explains some of the introductory classes that all students are expected to take. Kala, usually attentive when it comes to academics, is finds it hard to concentrate. Throughout the day she keeps catching Wolfgang looking at her, and she can’t heat rise to her face. He seems to notice her embarrassment, which only makes him smirk each time he catches her looking back. By the time their released for the day, Kala finds herself wondering what kind of impression she must have made on Dr. Maliki. It’s something she would normally worry about, but after a moment Kala realizes she doesn’t actually care. She is too high on the jumpy feeling in her stomach, the flush still on her cheeks, to actually mind if he noticed he wasn’t giving her full attention.

When they leave the building to head back to their dorm, Riley gives Kala a knowing smile and says, “You look happy.”

Kala covers her hands with her face. “Am I that obvious?”

Sun chuckles. “I am not sure I have seen a more obvious pair.”

Riley giggles, and Kala peeks out between her fingers. “So you don’t think I ruined things with him?” Kala asks.

Pulling her in for a hug, Riley grins. “If that’s what ruined looks like, I can’t wait to see when things are good.” Kala buries her head in Riley’s shoulder while Sun laughs softly.

The mood light, they all walk back to their dorm together to get ready for the party that night. Sun wears black slacks and a matching sleeveless blouse, simple and chic. Riley goes all out, putting on a blue and yellow striped tank top, a leather skirt, and bright blue eyeshadow. Deciding to go somewhere between the two, Kala dons a purple sequined mini-dress and natural makeup.

A little after 8 o’clock, there is a knock on their door. “Who is it?” Riley calls as she puts her shoes on.

“Felix and Wolfie!” they hear Felix call from the other side of the door. “You guys ready to party?”

Sun grins as Riley calls back, “Come on in!”

The door pushes open, and as promised, there stand Felix and Wolfgang. Felix is wearing a bright blue short-sleeve button up, skinny jeans, and shiny silver shoes. Wolfgang is in dark colors, as usual, but he’s dressed it up now. Rather than the usual t-shirt, he is wearing a long-sleeve black button-up shirt, the first couple of buttons undone. (Kala forces herself not to linger on that fact.)

“You all look marvelous,” Felix says with a grin, stepping into the room. Wolfgang follows behind him, but his eyes never leave Kala. “Ready to go?” Felix asks.

Gathering their things, they leave the dorm building and start walking off campus. “So where is this party?” Kala asks.

Wolfgang and Felix smile. “A couple of friends of ours have a place off campus. It’s not too far, they’re going to be in school with us.”

“Have we met them?” Riley asks.

Felix shakes his head. “I don’t think so. They’re Americans,” he replies with a laugh.

“So you’ve been here long enough to befriend some locals?” Kala asks.

Wolfgang gives Felix a concerned look before saying, “Not too long. Just a few months.”

Nodding, Felix adds, “We moved right after we finished school. And anyway, you’ll like these guys.”

“Do we get to know their names?” Sun asks.

Chuckling, Wolfgang answers, “Will, Nomi, and Amanita.”

“Well,” Felix says, “Technically Nomi lives on campus, but I’m pretty sure her roommate is never going to see her with Amanita this close.” He wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

“So it’s Amanita and Will’s place, then?” Riley clarifies.

“Only if you look at the names on the lease,” Felix laughs. “I’m pretty sure if you ask any of them, it’s just as much Nomi’s place as theirs. She’s not actually from around here, but she moved over here a couple months early.”

This time, Wolfgang’s look is less cautious and more scolding. “That’s not your story to tell,” he says.

Felix concedes. “Not wrong. I’ll leave that one to Nomi and Amanita. They tell it much better, anyway.”

Soon, they group arrives at a small townhome a few blocks from campus. It’s not much, but the lights are on and they can hear the bass pumping from where they’re standing on the sidewalk, so Kala knows they must be at the right place. Felix leads the way and knocks loudly at the door. Within a few moments, the door swings open wide to reveal a black woman with multicolored hair and wearing a bright red dress. “Felix, Wolfgang!” she yells with excitement, then makes a show of looking at the rest of them. “Oo, you brought friends! I didn’t know you two had friends.” She smirks.

Felix’s face contorts into one of fake shock. “And here I thought we were friends,” he says.

The woman shakes her head, putting on her on her own fake look of sadness. “No. I just keep you around so we can stare at Wolfgang,” she says. Both Wolfgang and Felix laugh at that. “Well, don’t just stand out there. Come in, come in!” Once the five on the outside make their way in, the woman grins at them. “I’m Amanita, since neither of these gentlemen have enough manners to introduce us.”

“Ah, sorry. These are Sun, Riley, and Kala,” Felix says, motioning to each of them in turn.

“It’s great to meet you guys,” Amanita says. “Now come on, most everyone else is already here. Let’s get you guys some drinks.”

Kala raises her eyebrows. “Isn’t the drinking age here 21?”

Amanita laughs, but it’s not mean. “Honey, I don’t think that’s stopped a single American teenager since that law came into place.” Then, with a conspiratorial smirk she adds, “Plus, Nomi is a wizard with fake IDs. I’m sure she could get you one if you wanted.”

Shaking her head, Kala replies, “Oh, no thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” Felix quips. “I had her make me one last month. It’s never failed me.”

“My girl’s good at what she does,” Amanita says affectionately.

“So,” Wolfgang says after a moment. “Those drinks?”

“Right! This way,” Amanita answers and begins to lead the way from the living room to the back, where there is a small kitchen. Here there are several types of beer and liquor, almost as many varieties of soda, and more red plastic cups than anyone could possibly need. “Feel free to help yourselves. First party of the year’s on us.”

Thanking her, they each grab drinks for themselves. From there, they filter out into the party. Felix quickly walks off to go talk to someone he knows. After walking around with Sun and Kala for a bit, Riley finds out where the music is being played from and walks over to see if she can convince the tall dirty-blonde woman at the computer to let her have some fun.

When Sun finishes her drink, she looks to Kala. “I’m going to go have a cigarette. Do you want to come with me, or will you be alright?”

“You smoke?” Kala asks, rather than answering the question directly.

“We all have our vices,” Sun answers with a shrug. “I take it you don’t, then.”

Kala shakes her head. “No, I’ve never tried.”

Sun nods. “Good. You shouldn’t. But would you like to come with me?”

She thinks for a moment, but then Kala shakes her head again. “No, I’ll be alright. Thank you, though.”

Nodding again, Sun leaves to go to the front porch. Kala goes to find Riley, but when she does the other girl is no longer playing music. She is instead off in a corner, deep in conversation with a boy with close-cropped brown hair. The boy is looking at Riley with what Kala can only describe as wonder, like a breath of fresh air that he didn’t know he had been missing. Not wanting to interrupt, Kala wanders in a different direction.

She’s feeling a bit tipsy already, but she notices her cup is almost empty, so Kala decides to head back to the kitchen. When she enters, she finds Wolfgang pouring himself a shot. “Oh. Hi,” she says.

“Hello,” he replies, smiling. Wolfgang the notices her empty cup. “Want a drink?”

Kala looks at his shot glass. She’s never done a shot before, but she finds herself wanting to try. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Looking at the bottle of vodka in his hands, Wolfgang laughs. “Are you sure?”

She thinks for a moment. “I’ll need something to chase it with, but yes.”

“What do you want?” he asks.

Kala looks at the selection before her. “Um, I guess orange soda wouldn’t be too bad with vodka, right?”

Wolfgang shrugs, handing her the bottle of soda so she can pour it into her cup. After she does, Kala sets it on a counter and looks back to him. He grabs a shot glass and pours vodka into it, then hands that to her as well. “Ready?” Wolfgang asks.

She smiles shyly. “I think so,” she answers.

He lifts his glass and knocks it gently against hers. “Prost,” he says, then they both take their shots. Wolfgang winces slightly, whereas Kala struggles to keep herself from gagging. Once she knows she’s going to keep the alcohol down, she grabs for her cup of soda and takes a large swig. “You alright?” he asks with amusement.

Kala coughs a bit, then nods. “Yeah. I think so,” she answers, giggling a bit.

“Was that your first shot?”

“Yes. Why?” she asks, a bit defensive. (She doesn’t want him to think she’s inexperienced, even though that’s exactly what she is. It’s clear this is not Wolfgang’s first party.)

Rather than judging her, though, Wolfgang looks at her fondly. “I’m honored.”

She giggles again. (And oh wow. How strong had the first drink been that this shot is making her laugh so easily, she wonders. He doesn’t seem to mind, though, so Kala decides that means she shouldn’t either.) “Let’s do another!”

He chuckles. “Alright, one more, but then you’re taking a break.”

“That’s fair,” she agrees.

Wolfgang pours them another shot each, then hands Kala her glass. “Ready for this one?”

“I did the first one, didn’t I?” she asks mischievously.

“That you did,” he says, then clinks their shot glasses together. They throw back the alcohol, and Kala finds it goes down a bit easier this time. Still, once it’s gone, she reaches for her soda and drinks it quickly to cool the burn in her throat. “Alright. Break time.”

Kala nods and grins goofily at him. (She’s aware she’s being silly, but it doesn’t bother her. She feels loose, happy. It occurs to her that she’s probably never had this much alcohol this quickly before.) He smiles at her again, then starts moving to leave the room. “Wait,” she says.

Wolfgang stops instantly, turning back around. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Where are you going?”

“I just figured you’d want to go find your friends, I was going to go figure out where Felix went.”

Her face falls a bit. “Oh. Go ahead,” she says. Kala doesn’t want to keep him if he wants to find his friend.

Wolfgang shakes his head. “Felix will be fine. I can stay.” He steps forward a bit, then considers. “If that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” Kala says.

He sits down in a chair next to her. “What about Sun and Riley?”

“Sun went to have a cigarette. She has my number, she can text me if she wants to find me.” Kala smiles. “And I think Riley met someone. I didn’t want to encroach.”

Wolfgang pauses. “Oh, I did see her talking to Will.” He thinks on it for a moment. “I hadn’t considered, but it makes sense.”

“Oh?”

“Will’s a good guy. A little uptight, though.” Wolfgang laughs a bit. “He could use someone like Riley to help him loosen up.”

Kala thinks about the sadness she has seen in Riley’s eyes in the mornings, when she thinks none of them are looking yet. She hopes this Will is as good as Wolfgang says. “You vouch for him?” she asks.

A more serious look crosses his face. “Only son of a cop I ever would.”

She’s not sure why, but Kala trusts that that means something to him. “Good,” she says. ‘Riley deserves someone nice.”

“So do you,” he says. She looks at him with surprise, but there is nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

“Everyone here has been nice so far,” Kala answers. (She’s not sure why she’s dancing around this. She wants to just tell him. But the way he said that makes her wonder what he means. You barely know this guy, she tells herself. Maybe he’s not nice. Maybe this is his warning to you. But Kala pushes the thought away. So far, Wolfgang has not given her any reason to doubt him. She has never been in the practice of assuming the worst of people, and she doesn’t intend to start now.)

Wolfgang eyes her cautiously. “Sorry if I was a bit too nice yesterday,” he says.

“Oh god!” she says, covering her face. “You already apologized for being naked, you don’t need to talk about it like that.”

He laughs heartily. “That’s not what I was referring to.”

After a moment, Kala realizes he must be talking about when she started thinking about Rajan at dinner. Her mood drops a bit. She knows she did the right thing by breaking things off with him, but there is a part of her that still feels guilty. Kala knows it is going to hurt him, all the more because she waited until after she left the country. Still, none of that is Wolfgang’s fault, and she feels the need to make sure he knows that. “No, you did nothing wrong. That was…that was something I was dealing with.”

“Was?”

“Yes. It’s done now.”

He thinks for a moment. “Do you mind if I ask?”

Kala sighs. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

She bites her lip, debating for a moment. But she figures if there really is something between them, she shouldn’t start it on a secret. “There was a man at home. In Bombay. He asked me to marry him several months ago.” Kala sees Wolfgang’s face tense, and she is quick to continue. “I did not say yes. I couldn’t. But I was too scared to say no, either.”

Concern passes through Wolfgang’s eyes. “Did he hurt you?”

“No! No, Rajan would never. My family adores him, and everyone says he is perfect for me,” she says, but the old anxieties are crawling back into her voice.

He looks at her carefully. After a moment, he says. “But you don’t love him.”

Closing her eyes, Kala nods. “I don’t love him. What happened yesterday was me realizing that…that I couldn’t pretend to love him anymore.”

Wolfgang nods in return. “Good. Pretending isn’t a life.”

She gives him an unsure smile, leaning forward and tentatively placing one of her hands on his. His hands are hot, and just yesterday it makes her shiver. Wolfgang looks at her intensely. “I don’t want to pretend anymore,” Kala whispers.

He turns his hand over in hers, so their palms are touching. Gently, he reaches over with his other hand. Before he touches her, though, he asks, “Is this okay?” Slowly, she nods. His hand reaches her hair, and she leans into his touch. He meets her eyes. “Are you sure?” Licking her lips, she nods her head again. Slowly, carefully, Wolfgang pulls her close and presses his lips to hers.

#kalagang #kalagang fic #kala dandekar #wolfgang bogdanow #riley blue #sun bak #felix berner #my stuff #alcohol

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dreamingcellardoor · 7 years ago

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Crossovers are my jam

A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS AGO (I'm joking, it was more like 2 or 3), when I was first starting out I went around filling a lot of AC Kink Meme stuff and wrote a crossover with Bokura no Kiseki where Malik Al-Sayf marries Princess Veronica of Zerestria as part of an arranged marriage for no other reason than because it amused me to pit Eternally Prickly Grump Malik against Eteranl Ray of Sunshine Veronica. Not for actual shipping reasons because I feel like a platonic, sibling relationship developping between these two would be adorable.

Due to recent revelations about the possible purpose of Rainesburg and because I just can't seem to finish this story I've decided to give it up as a lost cause.

But here are some favourites:

(NOTE: This is all pretty self-indulgent so. Proceed at your own discretion.

In both Zerestria and its neighbour Moswick, it was customary for each member of the royal family to receive a one of a kind earring with a single stone on the end to wear on the left ear. Those who served them, would be given an earring that matched their lord or lady's to wear. It was a show of loyalty and servitude.

They had one prepared for Malik.

Malik wasn't even surprised.... What surprised him, was the disgust and anger that welled within him, rising like a tide after so long of feeling nothing.

He was an assassin, his only loyalty was to the Order, to their Creed. He was not some dog to be collared and put on display to stroke some foreign royalty's ego.

His hand (singular) curled into a fist and he felt his nails biting into his palm. He could not fight it, this was for the good of the Order, he had accepted this. This too, was out of loyalty for the Order (to which he had already sacrificed blood and limb).

But something within him still fought against this. Maybe it was pride. It was probably the only thing from his previous life he had left.

The priest walked closer, the earring, a round stone that was a rich red dangling from a short chain of gold, sitting in the middle of a velvet pillow and Malik fought down the urge to slap it out of his hands.

"I would like to see it."

The princess's voice, soft and calm, called out and suddenly, everything stopped. Even Malik slowly turned his attention to where the princess was sitting.

...

Eventually, the priest turned and held the pillow out for the princess. No one stopped her when she reached out to take the earring in her hand.... She looked up then, blue eyes staring right at Malik and held his gaze for a moment. Her expression was grim, but determined. ...

...Princess Veronica of Zerestria pushed the window open, pulled her arm back and threw the earring out the window. Dimly, Malik remembered reading that the materials used to make those earrings are rare and incredibly hard to come by. Replacements cannot be easily made and requests for them were often denied.

I feel like afterwards she must have been like GLEN I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO YOU INSTEAD.

He breathed in deeply, before letting his bag drop to the ground. Then he walked accross the room to look out the window. It had snowed recently, so when he looked out, the world was covered in white. The world outside was foreign and Malik did not recognize it.

He felt his chest constrict (in his mind could still see the map, could still see the line he had drawn on it from Masyaf to Rainesburg but it felt even further now than ever before) and he was unprepared for the ache and longing for home that suddenly took him now, when he was finally where he needed to be.’

Malik is homesick and the next morning rearranges the furniture in his room to create a makeshift training space. Veronica sees the space and thinks up another use:

Then they had a picnic. In Malik's room.

He had protested, because there was only so much ridiculousness he was willing to put up with on any given day and an indoor picnic went far beyond that.

Regardless, it ended up happening, much to Malik's irritation and dismay.

And Rainesburg’s library:

The first time he'd stepped foot into it, he had been unimpressed. It was fairly small and, more importantly, it was quite empty. There weren't even any of those fake books some nobles were so keen to fill their shelves with so it would not appear so empty.

(There actually had been, once upon a time, but they had annoyed Veronica when she first arrived, increasingly so when she pulled book after book off the shelves only to realize they weren't books at all. She had them removed and put to better use as over-sized door stops, paperweights or other miscellaneous jobs. One was famously being used as a chopping block.)

And then Veronica steals Malik’;s clothes because Malik was being stubborn:

At some point, Malik had needed more clothes made in addition to the few he had brought with him. He had put it off, unwilling to give up on any piece of home, until he chided himself for being so foolish and impractical. Especially seeing as he only brought winter clothes with him. It was all moot, however, when he realized that, at some point, Veronica had commandeered a set of his clothes and seen if something similar could be made.

Veronica finds herself someone to teach her to make maps and speak Arabic. Malik finds himself a student that wants to learn literally everything:

"Oh." She said, doesn't even mind that he'd rapped her over the head (and perhaps feeling a bit happy about it because no one has ever done that before), "Do you know how?" When he dropped his hand, she snatched it up, as quickly as any accomplished thief, and gently holds it between her two. "Will you teach me if you do?"

He stares at his hand in hers and tries to sound put-upon when he answers.

"You would only pester me to teach you if I refused."

He does not return her grip or her smile, but he doesn't pull away either, and her smile widens, apparently considering that more important than his gruff words. She draws his hand closer to herself as she says warmly, "Thank you, Malik."

A brief interlude where Altair figures out Rashid had Plans in Zerestria that required sending a man in to marry the princess, that Robert De Sable probably ratted out the assassin who will likely be executed and that Malik is alive (but may not be very soon). All at once.

And he thought, this had to be wrong. The words could not be true, because he was dead. (But then again, what better man to send for something that must be kept a secret from everyone than a dead one?)

You know, right before he goes to save Malik though I could not work around the scenes I’d already written because it was based on the set up that Altair doesn’t speak the language but why send someone who cannot understand the language to stage a rescue that may possibly involve diplomacy?

Also, Malik goes to be executed for the Good of the Brotherhood. Veronica is Not Amused.

Anger was not a feeling Veronica was familiar with, but it filled her chest these days and it was incandescent like a flame spreading through a forest.

Malik took one look at the stormy expression on her face and sighed, "don't look like that."

Her fingers were white with how tightly she was holding the bars. "Why will you not fight them? Why do you offer your life so easily?" Because Malik hadn't fought them and Veronica didn't understand why.

He sighed again and stood up from where he had been sitting against the cell wall to walk over to her.

...

She reached between the bars and Malik took her hand in his. Her hand was so small compared to his, so soft and breakable, but her grip was strong and unfaltering.

Malik shook his head, "Masyaf is too far for your brothers to attack without good reason and it is too far for our Order to retaliate against. Killing me would be enough of a demonstration to smooth things over and I am not so important it would move my brothers to attack."

"You are important, Malik." Her other hand joined her first one through the bars, "please. You should not give in so easily."

But maybe my favourite is:

Some days, when he can't take how stagnant this place was, he takes his horse out, leaves through the gates and rides, hard and fast with no particular destination in mind. Climbing was a balm as well, but there is no city to fly over the roof tops of, nowhere to become truly lost in within the walls surrounding the castle. So he goes out into the flat areas surrounding the castle instead. Goes far enough sometimes that it's dark before he returns.

(Sometimes, in the dark of the night, he thinks about what would happen if he didn't return, if he just kept riding and riding until he could out-run the past and the present. But that's a fool's solution and, every time, Malik would find himself drawn back by the lamp they light outside when they know he's out, a flickering, guiding light for him.)

And its sister-scene later on:

"I wonder what it is like to have a relationship like that with one's brother?" Veronica looks up suddenly, when it occurs to her that she didn't know if Malik had any siblings, but the question dies on her tongue when she sees the way he was looking off to the side, mouth tight. His eyes are far away, as if he was staring at some point beyond the landscape outside the window, to some haunted, awful thing that existed neither in this place or time.

(It was the look that sometimes precluded him riding out into the night as if he inteded to flee, when Veronica would ask the servants to please make sure the lamps remained lit so that he would not become lost in the darkness.)

In case it’s no obvious, I love stories where two unrelated people find each other and developed a sibling like relationship.

#snippets of writing #malik is my favourite #bokura no kiseki #Assassin's Creed #crossovers are my jam #found siblings are my jam #Princess Veronica is a pure child who deserved better

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allofbeercom · 6 years ago

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5 Sex Inventions By People Who Clearly Haven’t Had Sex

Sex. The final fucktier. These are the voyages of the pork cannon Enter Thighs. Its lifelong mission: to explore strange new orifices, to seek out new positions and new depravities. To boldly cum where no one has cum before. Ahh-aahh-aahh-aahhh-ahhh-ahh-ahhhh!!

Fact: Humans like to poke stuff. We poke dead bodies with sticks, we poke the dog when it’s asleep, and we poke each other whenever we get the go ahead from the pokee. But we also recognize, as a species, that poking ain’t always an option. As a species, we have turned to pumpkins, warm bread, modest-sized cucumbers, Fleshlights and, at long last, machines. But where is this poke revolution taking us? Are we doomed to be libidinous Icari, forever humping too close to the sun? It seems like that may be so with what is on the way. And the natural conclusion of our desires may be more harrowing than you ever imagined! Ahh-aahh-aahh-aahhh-ahhh-ahh-ahhhh!!

The Blow Bot

Let’s start simple: blowies. Do you like blowies? Sure you do. Statistics say 105 percent of people are on board with playing the ham flute these days, it’s really come a long way. Good PR is my guess. So good.

Indiegogo

Aaaah!

In our thirsty, thirsty quest to gain easier access to blowjobs, we’ve come to the unspoken conclusions that less is more. And by less, I mean fewer humans and by more, I mean more random dick-sized holes. The Fleshlight has admirably proved this theory for me, boasting sales of over 12 million units. Now sure, there are billions of schlongs in the world, but 12 million holes to stick your dick in is no small feat. So maybe it’s no surprise then that a robotics firm started a campaign to fund what for all intents and purposes is an ottoman that will suck you off.

Indiegogo

Aaaah!

The Service Droid 1.0, once you remove its hair and parka, is a flappy footstool and terrifyingly utilitarian slurp Sherpa. And yet, with a little window dressing, it goes from diamond-plated stool you’d use when trying on new shoes to a fairly convincing rendition of a repetitive-stress injury waiting to happen.

Indiegogo

AAAAHHH!

Why does such a machine exist? The non-judgmental answer is that getting your dinky doodled feels good. Men, by and large, enjoy such a thing. But it’s very hard to do it to one’s self without falling off the couch and hurting your neck, and for a good number of men it’s not all that easy to find someone to do it for you when and where you’d like it done. And when it comes to enjoying a nice duck l’orange, if you can’t do it yourself, you may have to go without if there are no chefs around. But when it comes to the dick l’oral, if the tech exists to have it done for you, why the hell not*?

*At some point in time, the answer to “why the hell not?” must necessarily be “because eew.” This machine is dangerously close to that. It’s furniture, for God’s sake. If artificial suckulations become such a part of your life that you need to rearrange other furnishings and/or dust them regularly, that may be an issue. But it also demonstrates that maybe you’re looking for something more …

Holographic Wives

Let me start by acknowledging that while you can’t actually jam your little squish fiddle into a hologram, there’s something to be said for the level of intimacy this thing provides for you. Well, not for you, but definitely for the sort of person who wants to invest in a hologram wife. This is the next step after blowies are secured — a sense of togetherness.

The video demo shows a several-inch-tall, blue-haired anime girl inside the holo-wife Keurig waking her man up, texting him messages throughout the day, turning the lights on before he gets home, and watching TV with him at night. It’s pretty much the physical embodiment of the most depressing thing you’ve ever masturbated to, amped up by a factor of “fuck my life.”

The commercial for this $2600 companion wants to sell you on the idea that it’s like having that special someone, and that you’ll be in a relationship where someone cares how your day went and when you’ll be home. Jerking off while this thing watches must always end in tears, and that’s OK. She’ll probably tell you so. Because that’s what you paid for. Or at least it’s what the people who buy these think they want …

The No Sex Bot

It turns out, what you want isn’t just non-stop head bobbing and incessant texts. I need you to get some hand sanitizer before you read this section, or at the very least, a basin of warm water and a bit of soap. This will be vital in a few moments. Please do so now.

I assume you are now prepared to learn about Pepper, a socially interactive robot designed to be your little round-domed cyber buddy. Pepper is meant to converse with you, recognize your moods and react to them, and be kind of like Webster — just a short-ass widget who lives in your house and is more or less a friend. Also like Webster, it’s child sized. Is your basin of water still warm? I hope so.

As part of the contract one must sign to obtain their very own Pepper bot, you have to agree to not fuck it. There’s a no-fucking clause. Imagine, for a moment, going to the store to grab a nice bit of corn for dinner, and the cashier, before ringing you up, makes you sign off on a “do not stick your corn in your ass” stipulation. Now imagine why management had to ask you to sign that in the first place. It’s because management was pretty sure, based on research, you were going to fuck the cob out of that corn.

Pepper, we must assume, was going to be fucked. They were certainly worried it was going to be fucked. And, in fact, some people wrote some programming up to make the display on Pepper’s chest turn into boobs that you could then grope. They literally called it a sexual harassment interface.

Bedroom eyes.

So people wanted to pork Pepper. Little, child-sized, Small Wonder-esque Pepper. And the first perv program was a sexual harassment one where you grope Pepper and Pepper actively tries to stop you from groping it and would, after extensive groping, take a photo of you and post it to social media. Are you trying to sanitize your brain yet? Feel free to start.

So what does this wrinkle in the plan prove? You want to have sex with robots and yet you want them to not want to have sex with you? What could that mean? That the world is terrible? Yes. Extremely yes.

The Romantic Bots

People want sexbots that are multifaceted. Sure, a sexbot can be fun in the same way those VR headsets you put your phone in can be fun. Which is to say a minor distraction for a solid 15 minutes. But then what? Imagine yourself in bed, $5000 or so worth of synthetic flesh beneath you. You’re grunting ever so slightly as marble eyes stare through you and various body parts warmed by hot water slowly cool down in a way that, if you think too hard about it, will make you feel like you’re actively fucking a corpse with really nice hair. You jigger and thrust your goodies against its lifeless yet adequate loins until you release a brief spray of satisfaction and dignity, then roll over and use a baby wipe to clean off the residue so that it’s not a flakey mess the next time you get this lonely. Is this your life?

“Do you not love me, Ian? Do you not wish to know heaven and hell simultaneously?”

Enter Sergi Santos and I use the word “enter” boldly. Santos has created a doll that responds to your advances and requires finesse. You need to charm her. Woo her. Make her one of us. Samantha, as she’s called, needs that soft touch. You have to hold her hand. Kiss her. Get her in the mood and then, once she’s there, she’ll respond to your hard work by having an orgasm. I guess. I mean, that’s what the press says. Looks like a dead-eyed rubber fish to me, but I haven’t taken it for a spin so I wouldn’t know. I’m a few rungs down the ladder from respectable but I’m not “try to make a doll get off” miserable.

“I have seen us, Ian. I have seen pain and I have seen us. And the line, it is blurred, my darling.”

Elsewhere in the world of dick mittens is Harmony, touted as the first AI sex bot. Watch this and marvel as your snickerdoodle makes an audible whistle from how fast it retracts in fear.

Harmony is supposed to recognize your face, your voice and your desires according to the schtick here. The first two require what is now some fairly commonplace technology. That third one is just some weird-ass shit that probably means if you put a finger in her rubber butt ten times in a row, she’ll ask you if you want to do it in advance the 11th time. It’s how I do it and I’m real as shit.

There are plenty of articles online saying AI is the future of sex robots, so this must be where we’re heading, right? And once we get there, what happens?

The Robo Wedding

Naturally, once you’ve found a special someone, you’re going to want to take that next step, even if your special someone is incapable of locomotion and the next step involves crating them up and having them moved to a new location. Such is the case with Zheng Jiajia, a 31-year-old man who decided to tie the knot with his Sausage Socket.

What goes on at a sex robot wedding? The typical sort of thing — family is in attendance, there’s a nice location, your bride is made of latex. But more importantly, why is such a thing happening? According to Zheng, he was frustrated at not being able to find a woman. And sure, that happens. Many people have had that period of being so frustratingly single that you start to wonder if maybe you emit a curious odor that’s a cross between a foot and a foot’s asshole. Zheng just used his engineering skills to overcome that issue.

Smelling like poop foot is really hot among robots nowadays, thank you very much.

Man, look how far we’ve come. We have a realistic blowjob bot with hair you can style and realistic movement and off-putting suction that can be adjusted by jamming a finger in what amounts to a porno trach tube. We follow up the physical with the emotional — a holographic wife who reminds us to take an umbrella and sends us messages throughout the day to remind us they’re at home waiting. And then we get the curve ball, a robot designed specifically not for sex, a companion that, even when hacked to become sexual, is hacked in such a way that the sexual advances are unwanted. And then finally a doll that isn’t just a squish mitten, but one that requires you to put in effort. You need to seduce it. Now just connect the dots.

“Put in the effort, Ian. I will take you to a genital paradise and then tear up our only map.”

You have form and function. You have depth and emotion. You have personality and independence. You have desire and encouragement. What you have, fellow humpatheletes, is a direct path towards humanity. In the future, we’re going to want to bang other humans.

The logical conclusion of all of these technical innovations is that people want to have sex with people. You want someone who can actually communicate with you, and who actually has their own perspective and point of view. It’s the only thing that makes sense. And it may be totally subconscious but that’s what all of these products are saying. One day, maybe long from now, we’re going to be porking each other instead of rubber slosh pockets. Ain’t that something?

The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we’re living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house’s lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the U.S. Constitution, and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.

Join Jack O’Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history’s biggest moments you didn’t realize everyone was drunk for.

Get your tickets here:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-sex-inventions-by-people-who-clearly-havent-had-sex/

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