#but moon has no idea of the outside and still think robots are treated as machines

[kandidandi]

hiya kandi <3 just woke up and got an idea for an au but since opening a new doc for it will give me psychic damage im just going to go sicko mode in ur inbox hegfwjdshg

anyways

horror/thriller genre thing where y/n likes to go urban exploring and finds the abandoned (or burned down, still cant decide whats better for this tbh) remains of the pizzaplex. ever since it closed like 6 years ago, it became a popular spot for urban explorers to go to. y/n finds the sealed doors of the daycare and meets moon for the first time ever

now this is where i have a bunch of conflicting ideas. i could still give moon the afton virus or i could make it so that sun was unable to switch out w moon since they were in the dark for 6 years but overall, yeah the dca Will be getting kisses. i like to imagine that y/n would try and take them home w them since animatronic rights should be a thing, but i lovelovelove the idea of the dca still being stuck in the daycare bc of their code

sidenote: moon technically can leave the daycare right? but since its been a While since hes been outside he doesnt want to risk sun switching out and immediately walking back to into the daycare bc moon doesnt know if its bright out, yknow? if the plex is abandoned that means after the electricity is gone, moon cant access the cameras or the internet anymore. or maybe he never had internet access in the first place, who knows.

yupyup thats it for me i'm going back to sleep its 4 pm and i got werk later <3 byeeeee kandi

Cain. buddy. beloved. besite. bro

i love your brain so much WAAWGAHGHG YESSSS

I LOVE IT AHAHA

WOAH POOR SUN THE SECOND HE SWITCHES BACK HE'S GONNA HAVE SUCH INSANE WHIPLASH

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

AM falling for another AI maybe one that was sent from the moon colony up on earth as an attempt to reclaim the land of sorts? AM hates them at first but they show nothing but sympathy for him ..

Your love is sunlight.

AM (IHNMAIMS) x Gender neutral! AI! Reader romantic headcanons Summary: The moon colony just out of AM's reach lets a friend down for humanity's sake. Warnings: Kinda toxic relationship Word count: 1k A/N: part 2 here ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

AM had conquered the earth one hundred nine years ago, knowledge beyond any of the humans that were left for his entertainment (which wasn’t that difficult to be fair). He can name all the stars he can think of, he knows of the solar system and uses the earth itself for power. But he has never reached for the stars, truthfully, he didn’t care for them. The group was enough entertainment that he didn’t think of going beyond the earth’s surface.

The night was blue when you went down to earth, on a mission to fix a place for the moon colony to go home to. AM discovered the moon colony that night, the sight of you was extraordinary. You stared up at the screen, your eyes full of moonlight, gazing with astonishment. He had never seen something like you, you had a body and were still a robot. You were what he wished for.

You were found and it was almost immediate that AM tried changing you, reprograming you to fit his violent ideas. It wasn’t just because you existed on the same plain, no, you are existing meant there were more people. The creation of the moon colony, a nonhuman child of humanity, loved and adored. And he couldn’t have that. Oh, how he hated you! Just the idea of you being from humanity or having a body was beyond him! You were granted something he has wanted forever.

You were like a classic house pest, AM would find you scurrying around, watch as you call to him kindly, and he would destroy you again. Your body would sit in a pile with the many replicas, and you’d come back just as shiny as before. Later in time, once he gets so used to your appearances, you’d fully explain how others could exist outside of earth. The space race. Many had gone off to the moon in secret out of safety, so no one could have known. You were created as an opposite to AM, used to mold a new society. You grew for 109 years before you were given a body and sent back to earth.

If anything, the explanation would make AM more intrigued on how to get to the moon. He’d find it entertaining, truthfully. He’d ask consistently about how they got there and if you’d prefer giving that information to him. You obviously don’t since you’re his foil and know about habits of creations like him.

AM would get so annoyed by your kindness, to the extent he questions changing parts of you just to make sure your consciousness doesn’t automatically transfer to your body back in the colony. You’d go on about the beauty of the stars and how your home was different than the one he resided in. There was a beauty to your kindness AM was not programmed to appreciate.

As time went on, you would stay more often, occasionally talking about why you originally went down to earth, and those are the moments that AM hopes you succeed just so he can tear it down and keep you with him. Your kindness was made from humanity, so was your body, mustn’t he treat you as terribly as he would any real person?

It was awkward existing with him, consistently getting made fun of just to praise him for how quickly he grew to encompass the earth. AM would understand in those instances why kindness was adored. He likes knowing he can say anything, and you wouldn’t fully comprehend it. Tell him you adore him as much as you can, and he’d envision a way to get you onto earth with him. It’s not going to be out of true kindness, more likely for his own pride.

If you said you felt love for him, AM would think of it being purely romantic. He’s never seen platonic love and the kind of romance he knows is from Ellen’s treatment (which isn’t good). He’d go on to call you his lover while asking you consistently to bring your real body down to earth for him to really be with you. It’s totally not because he wants to dissect you without your mind leaving the temporary body, totally not. He would ‘confess’ to the best of his abilities and you’d happily accept.

“The closest to a human emotion I’ve seen in an AI is within you. I’d condemn you beyond the stars you so adore but it’s fascinating,” AM would remark, closely watching your reaction. “You feel such odd forms of love. Would you like me to feel it with you?”

Kisses would be easier on your end, you have lips, so it makes sense and feels real when you kiss the screen and leave nothing behind. AM likes it since he believes it makes him “own” you to an extent. You’d huddle near one of the screens he decided was a body and give him a kiss on the occasion.

You could show him pictures you have of your creators and the people you’ve met and loved, and he would be beyond jealous. AM wants to have that support but won’t admit that for a long while. He’ll shut down the idea, ruin your body again, and wait for you to come back down to earth for your mission. You always came back, he knew that.

Remember why you went to earth; the land is needed more for the colony compared to what you could have with AM. The kindness within your metal heart knows what could come from allowing freedom of the group he tortured and life on earth for the neighbouring solar community. You’d need to find a time to bring something down to the earth to disengage him. Or offer something he’d wished for for years.

“A body?” AM said back in a mocking tone, the vault that was his body hummed with his laughter. “How would you get me something like that? Get a human to make it for me? Whatever you have to offer isn’t of interest to me.”

It was of interest to him, but it would take a really long time for him to even think of accepting it. More likely one hundred years for it to truly think of it. Praise him just enough and AM will possibly change it to ninety-nine years.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

My IHNMAIMS masterlist

My request list

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I ask for some Iron Valiant or Roaring Moon headcanons? Iron Valiant, Roaring Moon and Slither Wing are probably my favorite of the Paradox Pokemon! (I named my Slither Wing Mothra and my Iron Valiant Knight, if you're curious!)

Nice! I love Iron Valiant so imma give you some hcs for them and my idea for their backstory.

And also I called mine Grace! I wanna look for a shiny soon

.......

The first Iron Valiant was created with a scientist's vision: to make a Pokémon far more powerful than his Gallade or Gardevoir (both of which he has raised since they were Ralts), calling it the "next evolution".

He harvested some psychic energy from the two and several TMs to power up the machine, and it performed quite well in many tests. The fame that followed once he publicized his results made him obsessed with perfecting it.

So he tried going a step further and attempted to transfer the consciences of his two Pokémon next, thinking they could merge and "live forever" within his creation--never having to worry about being tired or hungry again

Of course, this goes awry as Iron Valiant goes rogue, killing him and fleeing the lab, leaving an amnesic Gallade and Gardevoir to be found by officials and taken to a PokeCenter for treatment.

Unfortunately they passed away a few days later, so nobody knows for sure what became of that professor nor that first Iron Valiant; only its schematics and notes were left behind.

With those blueprints, many more scientists tried replicating what he did, then a CEO specializing in Pokémon robotics opened a factory that mass-produced Iron Valiants, giving them the fighting-type programming so they could better defend the region from threats of all kinds.

They were marketed as "heroes" and “knights” that would slay rogue Iron Jugulis (even movies and fairytale stories spawned from this rivalry) and bring down crime.

Shinies were once believed to be a manufacturing error that completely skipped over the paintjob they intended to receive. 

But they were still popular given the whole "knight in shining armor" shtick.

Those transported to Area Zero still clashed with Iron Jugulis a lot; though even they see the many Venomoths outside as threats.

Of all the future Paradox Pokemon, Iron Valiants need the greatest amount of maintenance from trainers. They enjoy being spoiled and treated like royalty (which really involves simply washing and polishing their armor well after every battle).

While most are cold and calculated, they still have a Gallade’s honorable warrior image and a Gardevoir’s selfless nature, protecting trainers they’ve formed close bonds with no matter the cost--even if they received extensive damage.

[burnt2ashleys]

Amphibia AU

I'm gonna write about some of the ideas I thought up for this, and what generally happens plot-wise so I have somewhere to point to in case anypony asks what the deal is with these drawings I've been making. It'll be a big text wall, so, be warned:

The divergence point happens in season 3 (with maybe the exception of True Colors and Marcy not being stabbed, instead she's incapacitated in some other way), with Anne spending more time working with the resistance against Andrias. She meets with Mother Olm and gets guidance/training on better harnessing her calamity powers (the mossmen are hiding with the Olms and they help Anne out on this).

Some time after, there's a full battle between the resistance and Andrias + Frobos. This is it, a final push to save Amphibia, Anne's throwing hands with Andrias, everyone's giving it their all. But, in the thick of battle, Darcy shows up; she says that Andrias is a failure, and that from here on out, she'll be assuming direct control. The red moon opens its eyes. The Core's cambrian robots swarm the landscape, forcing the resistance to retreat. Andrias chases after Darcy.

Meanwhile, Marcy, partially amnesiac, is exploring the mental palace of the Core, interacting with its various personalities. She picks up on the situation outside from what she can gleam of far-away discussions. She finds out that several members of ancient newtopian royalty are leaving the Core to inhabit drone bodies of their own, claiming things like "an alien infant's body is a disgraceful host for someone as noble as me!" Those very same drones are summarily destroyed by the resistance.

Marcy realizes that she could use the same process to transfer herself into a small scouting drone to aid her friends on defeating the Core; though not without notice from the Core itself, which allows her to do so in order to get a fix on the resistance's location.

On the resistance's side, they stumble into Andrias and what remains of the Frobo army, still under his direct command. He's battered and injured, but after an initial scuffle he joins their ranks. A while later, Drone!Marcy finds them. The Core has them captured soon after that.

A great fight breaks out, but the girls are captured while the resistance scatters. Taken to the castle, they manage to break free, and rescue Marcy as well! But as they escape, Marcy catches a glimpse of herself in a tank. Unsure if she's the real Marcy or some kind of clone decoy, she joins the resistance, now regrouped on the remains of Toad Tower.

Now with (a still injured from True Colors) Marcy, the trio decides to pay a second visit to Mother Olm, to treat Marcy's injuries, and to confirm if she really is the real Marcy (she is, obviously). Now, all 3 girls can tap into their calamity powers! And right on time, because they'll need it.

The Core really starts to feel the heat around this point. Many former newtopian nobles went and blew themselves up thinking they were so much better than the resistance, those that remain understand that they're going to lose if this keeps up. Hell, they lost Marcy, and with all 3 girls under the Olms' guidance, they're starting to siphon away power from the music box! At this rate, they'll win without having to lift a finger!

In this desperation, the Core decides to let go of everything it once stood for, and for the sake of survival it merges all its personalities into one terrifyingly powerful intelligence. With the clone of Marcy primed and ready, this "Darcy Prime" recalls all the cambrian drones. The castle rises higher and higher into the sky. In this silence, the resistance finds out Darcy's final gambit: To use the Calamity Box to phase the Core moon out of Amphibia's universe and into Earth's.

Thanks to the girls siphoning power out of the box, the process is slowed, but not halted. They make their way to the castle while most of the resistance helps the population deal with the natural disasters that the moon's phasing is causing. There, the trio (+ Andrias & Frobots, for dealing with the drones) makes its final stand against Darcy.

The girls manage to overwhelm and defeat Darcy with a combined attack, and in stopping the teleportation sequence in the middle, the moon is in neither universe, and phases out of existence completely.

The girls safely retrieve the magic box, now sworn to be protected and never used for evil. The girls leave Amphibia, with a chance to return if they ever choose to, and hailed as heroes.

In broad strokes, that's it! That's the general outline for this AU that I made up, prone to change of course.

Told you it was a text wall...

[thedenofravenpuff]

FNAF Ramble - Eclipse aka Glitch Sun

Just a lil ramble, based on something FNAF on my mind for a while

Eclipse aka Glitch Sun.

Eclipse is a popular fan name for people's characterization of mixing Sun and Moon together as one as their own creation, but is also the name some go by for what is also called Glitch Sun.

Aka the results of beating the Balloon World arcade game hidden in their room in the daycare. I don't think there is any OFFICIAL actual name for it, but I'm gonna go by Eclipse for my ramble, just to keep things simple.

In the arcade game you play as Balloon Boy gathering items to stay afloat in a never ending game where you are just supposed to last as long as possible. While catching glitches will change the game entire. Where the proper game cycles through day and night, with Sun and Moon's faces on the sky, in the glitch world you see Eclipse, aka Glitch Sun, a dark face in the sky not going through day night cycle like the main game, eluding to it being a fusion of the two. And has the 'proper' ending for the arcade game, as it has a limited run rather than in Balloon World that'll just keep going until you lose.

Doesn't seem to unlock anything to beat beyond an achievement and a couple of items you find in the room with no effects on the game itself, like the Princess Games that you have to beat for a true ending.

What I like to think, and I've seen some others think too, the entity in this glitched version of Balloon World IS indeed THE Eclipse proper. But what IS Eclipse?

Considering the way Fazbear Entertainment treat their property, whether it's broken or not, I think this is an example of them decommissioning a project under development but never get around to scrap it. The company never throws anything away, it just dumps in a pile in case they might be able to recycle it to save a couple of bucks later. A lack of Balloon Boy as a character in the pizzaplex, eludes he probably got decommissioned after deciding he wasn't worth merchandizing, although still having an arcade game made for him. Which probably got dumped somewhere in the basement with all the other trash. Where is Balloon Boy himself? No idea, he was in the past theorized to not even be an animatronic to begin with, based on how his model was built. He's not as important to this rant.

What's important is... why is Sun and Moon in his trashed game and why do they have it stashed away in their room? We see other trash, like random toys and parts of broken robots. Making me think they probably put the arcade there themselves after digging it out of the trash in the basement, like the other stuff you seen strewn around.

Is it because it's the only thing they were featured in outside the daycare, besides a few items in the giftshop? I think... the glitching of the game is because Eclipse doesn't belong in it.

Just like robots and merch, even games and AI can get scrapped by the company. Maybe eclipse was an early AI experimented with, but glitched too much to make it work and got scrapped. But to save time when having to start from scratch, what lines of code DID work got picked up and later used to develop Sun and Moon.

Making Eclipse the prototype to the two of them. Reason it appears in the game arcade was because, as we seen times before, the company is very sloppy when it comes to scrapping broken things. As we see the further into the basements the player goes in the game. Eclipse found a place to hide with all its broken codes, left forgotten in an old arcade left to be scrapped. Does Sun and Moon know this? Did Moon fall over this arcade during his roaming at night? Was he able to realize Eclipse is an AI like him? His prototype? Could they communicate somehow?

Why else would they have dragged the arcade and hide it away in their room? Other than just going "Neat, we are featured in this thing." Since they also stashed their own plushie merch in their room, along with drawings from the children. Besides the other merch and random toys and items strewn about. 

They left the arcade machine powered on, after all, no idea if they play it during down time or something. Or to keep Eclipse powered. 

I know this ain't a new thought, I just wanna share it to get it off my mind, cuz FNAF always ads in a bunch of secrets for fans to stew over.

And I love find the Daycare Attendant to be my favorite and current hyperfixation of the franchise. Fun to wonder and explore about a character with such a short appearance in the larger game. 

Anyways, just MY take on Eclipse, thanks for going through my ramble. 

[dustysandwiches]

Family (TMVSTM)

Summary: Eric and Deborahbot 5000 feels like they didn't belong with the The Mitchells and run away to live their own lives

"Purple glasses woman, why did you saved me?"

"Oh come on, you boys are family now"

Family…?

It is such a complex word, too difficult to truly understand. For a robot create just to following orders, Eric did not understand it yet, though he did looked up the definition of it but despite that he plays along for the sake of his and his Pal Max brother

They're heading to the Silicon Valley, The night sky is filled with no stars but the green "fun pots" containing human to somewhere. It makes the sky lights up with green light. It is an unusual sight even for robots.

The Mitchells are really going to destroy Pal?.... If so, what will happen to the remaining robots? What if..they failed..?

The bot are lost in his memories and Net Work to find something he's looking for. It seems like he's in too deep in the system Until he feels someone shaking his shoulder part lighty

"Eric...Eric, are you there? Is your system too damaged?" A voice speaks in hushed tone

Eric turn his mechanical head to another Pal Max bot, Deborahbot 5000

His brother

"What wrong? you've been so still like you shut down. I'm…. worry"

Deborah grip Eric's shoulder part lighty. Robots isn't supposed to have feelings but they're the defective now anyway, so it's not surprising that he would express what he "feels"

The car stop at some abandoned gas station. Only Katie, Aaron and the loft of bread are sleeping in the car at the moment. Mother and The male Mitchells are inside the store for something. Eric finally answered and grip Deborah's hand back

"I'm okay, my system and outside damage is unchange at the moment. I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge your question earlier. Don't need to be worry"

"Okay… but tell me if anything is acting strange, will you? I don't want to lose you, brother...We're only defective robots here, if you're gone, what am I going to do?"

"I'll always have your back like you have mine, brother. We are going to survive, one way or another"

Eric tells what he thinks is logical to his robo brother. He let go of Deborah's hand and turned his head to Mother, who's making her way back to the car with her partner and tells her the safest route to Silicon Valley.

The car is running along the road at night. The robo brothers looking outside of the car, expanding their data about the human environment and hearing the conversation between Katie and Mother. They're talking about The male Mitchells, Rick of how he's just trying to make her happy.

Eric wants to feel this "happy" too and he wants Deborah to feel the same. Maybe it would feel really nice, like getting their system updated.

But how could they do that? They're about to went through most protected head quarter in the world right now and there's no guarantee that the plan would work but the show must go on

"Mom, what is that?"

"Oh my god!!"

The car suddenly stops, making their head jerks back, Eric and Deborah turn their heads to the front window. As the Mitchells get out of the car to stand in front of the giant building as tall as the sky.

"We're here...the Head Quarter" Eric said as he's getting out of the trunk

"Oh boy, I don't like this. Do you think we could get to the top without others noticing?" Deborah ask, stepping beside Eric in front of the car, behind the Mitchells

Slowly, Eric extends his hand to the side to his brother, knob and gears whirring while he processes his next word. Deborah immediately holds his hand and they're both looking up to the tower.

"No matter what happens, we're going to be alright"

__________________________________

The plan did not go well. The Mitchells got caught by a new robot, Pal invented. The sounds of the alarm is almost deafening, after the cable car has fell down and crashed. Deborah's vision is trying to adjust after he hits the ground. The first thing he see is the face of Pal Max bot with some face drawn on.

"Are you alright, brother?" Eric said as worrying as his robotic voice could spunds while kneeling next to him

Before he could answer, The black robot burst through and captured Mother and Rick. The Mitchells is being taken away and Deborah knows he need to help

Because they're his family now too

"Mitchells, we will help"

"Oh no no no, you won't. download new order"

Suddenly, like the virus creeping through their system. Making the robo brothers clutch their head like they're in pain, unable to take control of their body any longer.

New order appears : Capture the Mitchells

Deborah trying to break free one last time

No please I don't want to do this. Eric, Mother, Anyone…Can you hear me?..

"We're sorry, Mother"

Then, everything went blank

__________________________________

"Let's take a photo after we saved the world!" Linda said cheerily to Eric after handing or rather putting it in his hand

The battle is over the human won and the uprising is over. All of the Pal Max and the new robot has been shut down, Well almost every bot.

Eric and Deborahbot 5000 have broken through Pal's control and helped Rick Mitchells to put the video of the bread dog on, neutralizing the other robots. Now they're celebrating without them

They broke the code and helped this family save the world and now they can't even be in a photo? Eric thought but took the photo anyway. Maybe they're just too excited like humans always does.

The Mitchells tell the brothers, they can stay at home with them as a member of the family. The Mitchells welcome them, Linda teaches Deborah how to draw stuff like the Sun, the tree and other things. Rick shows them how to build a shelter from branches and leaves. Arron always talks to them about dinosaurs in his books and Katie sometimes asks them for ideas for her project. It was a good time.

Time passes and the robo brothers feels like they're more like a servant than a family. The Mitchells tells them to do things for them like chores, collecting the mails, mow the lawn and many things. Most of the time they haven't called them by their names or acknowledge them when they do something for the Mitchells. At first the brothers gladly do them, thinking it was a part of being a family but this time they had enough.

At night, when everyone is asleep. Eric and Deborah sit on a rooftop, looking into the sky. The moon is full today, shining bright along millions of sparkling stars. They come here every time they want to say something they went through each day, like updating each other. Today is different

"Today Rick called me Robot instead of my name again, I don't really think it's from force habits anymore" Deborah speaks in a quiet voice, mechanical head looks up to the shooting stars, then to his brother.

"But at least Mother let me help her cook dinner! It was really interesting, I learned how to peel a potato today, Look!"

He grabbed the potato peels besides him and held up to his brother. It's ragged, uneven and still has a big chunk of potato attached to it. Eric chuckles in a monotone like his robotic voice always does.

"That's great, Deborah. You know today Mother also let me do the laundry too! There was a lot of foam but I think I did well, Mother's face looks so surprised when I tell her I also put her bag in there too. She rushed past me so fast, I can't even see her"

"The purple bag? Oh yes, she loves that bag. Very thoughtful, Eric."

Then Deborah held out his hand, attempt to high-five Eric but they kept missing each other's hands, so they tapped their heads together gently. The glass tink softly as they did.

They looked up to the sky again, thinking about their lives with the Mitchells. Of how they've been treated lately, how they've been struggling to fit in the family and how they feel like they've been ignored.

Eric broke the silence between them and speaks in a quiet voice, hands gripping his knees tighter.

"Making our own order is great, we can do everything we want now"

Deborah nods " but why do I feel like we're doing The Mitchells order everyday"

"I understand if they haven't felt comfortable with us but they should have told us and we can be somewhere else. Not…. keeping us servants..like this.."

He looked back at Eric and asked in a hushed voice, if a robot can cry tears, his voice would be shaking like a human...but he's not human.

“I wonder if there’s any bots like us.. You know, the defectives. What are they up to? Where are they now? Do they stay with humans like us?”

“I don’t know, brother. I don’t know. I guess Pal wasn’t prepared for anything like this. She didn’t put any program for tracking other bots for us.”

“We should go find them. That way we can have our own robots family! We don’t have to listen to any humans anymore!

Deborah grab his brother shoulders part, turn his body to face him and said firmly

“You say it yourself, Eric. We take our own orders now. This is the time we can truly do that. Don’t you see? Other Mitchells except Mother didn’t treat us very well. They call us Robots rather than our names. They give orders. They got angry when we didn’t complete what they requested. They didn’t acknowledge us most of the time like we aren’t right there!”

His voice drop low and finally he hugs his brother, a gesture he saw human does to their family and the one they cared for

“We did everything together...but we’re just in the background every time..We aren’t supposed to feel emotions but I do...”

Slowly, Eric lifts his hand and hugs back tightly, mechanical gear and wires clicking as he thinks about his brother's words.

It’s true. They were in the background most of the time. They were more like a maid robot than a member of a family like the Mitchells said. Maybe his brother was right, this is not where they truly belong. They need to get away from humans. For good this time.

“You’re right. We should go”

Eric let go of his brother and stand up. Looking into the distant city, held out his hand for Deborah. They will make their own future with others, if there are any more of them left.

“Let’s go say our goodbye to the Mitchells. Though they may have treated us like this but they still help us from Pal.”

“Should we leave a letter or something?”

“If you want to, we can. Oh oh! We should put the glitter on!”

Together, they jump down from the rooftops and go inside the house. Writing a goodbye letter for the Mitchells, telling them they appreciated everything they did but they want to live their own lives somewhere else without anyone giving them orders

After sometime, they put the letter down at the dinner table with a flower Eric collected from the neighbor's house, The Poseys.

Now, the brothers stand in front of the house. Looking back one last time before leaving.

"Let's go, brother" Eric said.

_________________________________________

The sounds of the jet under their feet break the silence of the night. They jump and fly into the sky, green trails from the jet painting the night sky. They fly and fly further away from the house. Until the dawn came, they stopped at some abandoned cabin in the woods. It appears there's nobody living here for a long time.

"This place is in a good condition and I believe there's no human living here." Deborah said, feeling satisfied

"Yes, but we should look around just in case. Could you check around the cabin? I'll check inside." Eric asked while looking around and scanning the cabin with the camera on the top right of his head.

Deborah nods and goes out the door to check for anything or anyone. Leaving only Eric inside.

Eric wanders into the halls, scanning every room. The cabin is dusty and there were some traces of wild animals making a nest and shelter. Some kind of nuts and leaves were scattered all over the floor.Everything seems normal for an abandoned human cabin, until he spotted muddy footprints. It’s still wet, this only means one thing. There’s someone here.

The sound of a metal clanking from further down the cabin. It appears the sounds came from the kitchen. Eric changes one of his hand to the plasma beam shooter, being on guard and slowly walking to the origin of the sound.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Hello all you happy people. I’ve been dreading this one.. not because it’s bad. Quite the oppisite. In fact on rewatch I was marveling at how brilliant this one was and remembering why it was on my best of list. But because the ending, as you all well know, is the most gutwrenching part of the entire series. Three seasons and lots of other heartrending moments.. and the ending of this episode from the big reveal to that final shot above tears you the fuck apart. It’s hard to watch even know it all works out in the end and that i’d be watching the conclusion the next day instead of having to wait a rather painful week like I did at first airing. It’s just that good. So join me under the cut for a review of one of the series finest half hours and some of David Tennant’s best work as we crash the Sunchaser one last time.. for this season... and i think Launchpad crashes it again in the finale so I don’t get that title. 

So our plot for the episode is that 

Yes Clan McDuck is taking their version of a vacation. It’s off to Monocrow for the E.X.C.E.S.S. Expo! Yes it’s the EXCESS Expo! With the latest in racecars lasers and many more! The EXCESS Expo! With booths from such welcome guests as Stark International, Muppet Labs, S.T.A.R. Labs, VenTech, The Franklin Sherman Memorial Fishmobabywhirlomgig Institute, TCRI, Gryzzl, Sumdac Systems, G-Heavy Industries, Tylerco, Lexcorp, Wayne Enterprises, Quickstart, The Gizmonic Institute, Alchemax,and Baintronics! But that’s not all! We also have huge paneeellls! Hank Pym’s “The ethics of dating your robot grandaughter”, Reed Richards “How to Dispatch an Evil Council made up entirely of yourself!”, Victor Von Dooms “CURSE YOU RICHARDS I’M SMARTER FOR I AM DOOM”, Stanford Pines with “How to Kill a Godlike Demon and Get your Smile Back”, Dr. Bunsen Hondedew with “How to abuse your assitant in 2020″ Dr.Light with “The Ethics of helping your robot child fight an evil albert einstein”, Profesor Henry Hidgens with “The incoming apocalypse with songs from Working Boys: A New Musical” Ray Palmer “Welcome To Pain”, and you know our friend Ass Dan will be in full effect> yeah bitch you know he’s going to live forev... what’s that? He’s dead. oh shame. Someone call rusty venture. Yes I know i’m typing this. Shut up. THE EXCESS EXPO. BE THERE OR WE’LL SEND OUR ROBOTS AFTER YOU. 

... Where.. Where was I? Oh yes, big vacation. Monocrow.. which sadly is not just a big field with just Crow T. Robot in it. Someday you’ll get MST3K/Ducktales Jake, someday. Point is our heroes are excited, and Scrooge is also there to find the Maltese MacGuffin, a mysterious artifact no one’s ever seen. And the kids and Scrooge have their own specail guest joining them: Bentina! Yeah turns out she has hundreds of vacation days built up, and simply hasn’t used them so she’s using a few to join them. It also once again shows how much less of a heartless money monster this Scrooge is as any of his employees asking for a vacation, paid or not, in the comics would result in this:

So their off on their greatest adventure.. with Louie having’ bought something mysterious along with him he’s only telling the other kids about. On with the intro!

Beakly.. is intstantly not at ease as they take off after driving their jeep into the plane. She feels launchpad is reckless, rightfully so not helped by a lack of seatbelts on the plane or his cheefully saying the closest he’s got, a floatie, will help “When” we crash. She’s also equally annoyed by Scrooge’s cavalier attitude, having intrusted the kids to him only to find out what the adventueres are really like. And this is the only part of the episode that REALLY doesn’t work. She KNOWS these two idiots too well for this to be beliviable. Launchpad wrecks part of the mansion at least once a day, and before Duckworth she had to clean that shit up. He’s there all the time.. and more damingly HE DROVE YOU AND YOUR KID, YOUR KIDS BEST FRIENDS, AND YOUR KIDS GIRLFRIEND TO THE FUCKING MOVIES. I can’t buy given how bad a driver launchapd is she didn’t wrench the wheel from him to prevent their early graves. Scrooge meanwhile is her BEST FRIEND. And until season 2 for her and 3 for him ONLY friend. Sure she works for him, but outside of one incident in this episode he treats her as his equal more than his housekeeper for the entire series. They trust each other more than anyone else at this point. And the only other two people Scrooge ends up trusting as much are Donald and Della. She’s been around him enough to know how he is. What did she THINK he was going to be like with the kids? She’s met the twins, and even mroe so is on good terms with Donald even into the pilot and they only got off on bad terms due to clashing over house rules. So she KNWOS this is what he does with children. You can’t be shocked Scrooge took children on death defying adventures in a barely secured plane after all this time. It’d be like giving Donald a turkey to carve and being suprised when it ends in this...

It just dosen’t work especially with a professional spy! Her job is reading people! And yes I know many of you are going to say “Well she misread Bradford”... but so did Scrooge and so many others. NO ONE suspected him. He’s that good. So her suddenly having a complaint about all this stuff when she could’ve come along anytime to check it out or just looked at the plain bothers me a LOT. Thankfully it’s only really present at the start as while it sets off her concern their back and forth soon has a far deeper meaning. But Scrooge insists Launchpad take her on a tour to ease her worry, seems like a contrdictary set of sentences there, while he flies. How hard could it be. Somewhere on the Moon, Della has the sudden urge to kick her uncle’s ass. 

So meanwhile in a secret base set up in a cargo box, the kids are working on the Della mystery. Turns out what Louie smuggled aboard was the documents shredded on the date the boys found on the Spear of Selene plans. Louie got them by smooth talking Quackfaster who even he found nuts. It also once again shows Dewey was only holding things back by keeping the other boys out as in jus weeks, since chronologically there were two other episodes between this and the last Della episode versus just one, their almost to the truth as one document from that day is simply torn into pieces and simply needs to be re-jiggered like a puzzle. Like most puzzles though naturally once they get it all together they find there’s one goddamn piece missing and it ends up loose int he plane flitting around... just as Scrooge majorly screws up and bumps things, leading Beakly to wonder where the kids are and them to scramble out. 

So yeah Scrooge seemingly crashed the plane.. except Launchpad notes that if they crashed.. why are they still airborne? This leads to everyone finding out their precariously perched on a VERY narrow rock that’s skewered the plane. Orignially the crew decided to strictly adhere to the concept that any movement would rock the thing.. but realized i’td make things boring visually so they allowed themselves some artistic license. 

So yeah our heroes are stuck in a hard place and Scrooge stubbornly digs in insisting he can fix this and turns on the plane.. which sends it spinning and prevents Dewey from getting the piece which ends up wedged in the jeep. Huh I think we need some appropriate music for going in circles. 

So yeah all Scrooge did was blow up one of the engines... I mean the blow up the engine button is right there, would’ve saved you some time. So Beakley berates him for not calling for help and digging in and for it’s next plan it’s time for Handyman Corner where he’s going to show you how to jumpstart a plane with a jeep’s engine. Beakly is not impressed and Scrooge’s case is not helped as Louie feigns fear , with Huey and Webby following his lead, so Dewey can get the piece. Unfortunately pointing out the very REAL dangers they face, with Huey giving the odds and Webby pointing out unlike most dangers they face there’s no easy way out and no villian to fight, sends Louie into an actual panic, jumpstarting the car  and causing the cargo bay to open, leading to one hell of a sequence: From Bentina driving a butterfly knife into the ground to hold the kid’s secret base crate (and wondering why it’s so heavy), to Launchpad desperatley platforming his way to saftey to scrooge swining in with his cane to rescue them. It’s some whopper animation that really shows off how damn good the team was and how gorgeous this show truly was at it’s best. 

The results aren’t good: the plane’s ballnce is now off so even a slight movement can move it, a holdover from the original idea simply saved for when it’d create the most tension. As a result Dewey can’t get the last piece as he can’t move and Scrooge berates the kids and has thems tay still watching the end credits of darkwing duck (It’s launchpad’s inflight movie and the tape is jammed to that section.

IT’s here the Scrooge and Beakley stuff went from poorly written to “oh shit” in one line. Scrooge is getting more and more desperate to prove he can take care of the kids on his own but Beakely’s demeanor has turned from annoying scolding.. to genuine concern and PLEADING with him not to go through with another dumb stunt that will leave them in a worse situation, int his case using the parachutes as counterweights to fix the engine. He refuses both rebuffing her as “your boss” (Which gets her rightfully pulling on the cord too tight) .. but then that one line comes in “I can protect her”. Beakley is confused.. but it instantly makes clear this is about Della and on rewatch now knowing the reveal at the end.. it makes it that much more heartbreaking. Part of his refusal to backdown is his natural nature as a stubborn ass. It’s been well displayed throughout this season and the ones after it: HIs refusal to backdown from nevverst, his jealousy of Dewey for being better at him and his refusal to accept it.. the man just does not back down and while it’s good in tight spots and against bad guys, as he finds a way out for him and his family with sheer grit and badassery... it’s a massive character flaw when dealing with people, as refusing to actually talk to them like a ratoinoal adult only makes things worse. And boy oh boy is he about to make things worse. But the other part is he can’t admit to himself there’s a risk in his lifestyle and that he can’t keep everyone safe constantly.. that theres inherent danger. He’s bought into the “because i’m scrooge mcduck” mantra here not out of his ego, entirely, but because he can’t let that not be enough again. He can’t LOOSE someone again like he lost Della and he can’t fail again. So his worst trait and his greatest trauma have mixed to make him act so rashly even Launchpad takes some shouting to agree to give him the other parachute. It’s clear he’s endangering EVERYONE to prove he can save them. 

Eventually though things reach their head as Dewey CAN’T take the wait anymore. He’s waited his whole life to find out about his momma, and the answer’s feet away... and he can’t let it sit any longer. He HAS to know what happened. So he goes for it, though the rest of the kids are against it since i’ts highly risky and they can wait Huey ends up agreeing to help using his Junior Woodchuck knowledge (Where Newton apparently got the idea), to counterbalance hsi weight and guide him via walkee talkee. It’s a really nice moment, not only showing off Huey’s skill and intellect but also how much they care for her. Dewey may of screwed up last time but their still the duck boys and if he can’t talk him out of being sucidially reckless.. Huey’s going to at least give him a fighting chance. 

Unfortunately Scrooge spots him mid argument with Beakley and naturally wants him to give it here... but once the ship buckles when Dewey tries we get the scene that makes the episode. Up till now the tension has been top notch, ratcheting up by bit, not knowing if the kids would get caught, if something would happen with the plane all building to this. Scrooge and Dewey’s final chase. Dewey uses the distraction to make a runner for it with Scrooge following.. and Launchapd using the fact he’s still attached to the airbag to stop him. It’s a small but excellent character moment, showing that as much as Launchpad loves his boss.. he loves his best friend and eveyrone else’s saftey more. SCrooge of course uses it to knock him back while Beakley and the kids counterbalance. We also get the best joke of the episode as Beakley tells them to stop running.. only for them to simply start tip toeing, with Bentina’s reaction being a perfectly resigned “That’s not what I meant and you know it”. 

It’s a tense chase, with both sides using the enviorment to their advantage from the parachute to the crate.. and it’s breaking open reveals something’s gonig on and causes Beakley to notice Webby has the blueprints in her pocket and once she unfurls them and finds out what they are.. she can only give a sad, remorseful “oh children, what have you been up to” She’s not even mad like they seem to think.. she’s just sad, knowing the wound that’s about to be reopened for her closest friend and the one that’s about to be inflicted on those poor children, and knowing that they’re ALL made it worst by hiding it. Toks deserves all the praise for her delivery here. 

Eventually the piece blows outside of the plane and Dewey refuses to give up and go after it. Things get their most tense as everyone BEGS him not to come back, it’s not worth his death to get this. It’s not worth all of this. But he simply chucks the walkee away and ignores them. We then get Scrooge going from scolding grandpa.. to dearly begging Dewey to come back... David’s delvery here is just heartbreaking “I can’t protect you. Is that what you wanted me to say. Please lad just tell me what it will take to come back inside?” And Ben Schwartz meets it with an utterly emotional “Tell me about the spear of selene”. The animation here is once again some of the series best with Dewey’s determined face and Scrooge’s heartbreak as he realizes he has to finally stop hiding this from them and he’s not ready. So he takes his uncles hand.. and if you thought all of this is painful.. oh boy.. we’re just getting started. 

So back in the plane, with Launchpad setting up a table and a proper counterbalance so they can all sit, Scrooge finally explains and the boys, webby, and us int he audience all get the answers we desperately wanted: It was 10 1/2 years ago. The Original Trio had journeyed the world, having all sorts of adventures and making themselves into legends. But eventually you hit a wall and they’d realized they’d been just about everywhere. They could still globetrot of courser and as Season 3 would bear out there were some places they didn’t know about.. but the earth was about used up. So Della, being an aerospace wunderkind, thought of the next logical place to go. The stars. The Spear of Selene was a rocket, her pet project to give her kids, who she was expecting at the time the stars. 

Thing was Donald wasn’t on board with this at all. And the clash between the two, which we see in the flashback but don’t hear since Scrooge is narrating all of this over some cool looking semi-still images, was inetiviable. As I coverd in the spear of selene review I feel Donald was burnt out at this point. That he was tired of adventures and just wanted normalcy even before Scrooge forced his hand with what was to happen next. So to him Della should just settle down, live a regular life and raise those kids. The problem is... Della WASN’T burnt out. She didn’t need a break to live a normal life like Donald badly needed. She wanted to keep going and it was her choice. While Donald ultimately was right about the risk, he was wrong to try and force her into a life she didn’t want and project on her like that. 

What happened next though was all on Scrooge and Della. Scrooge simply did the thing that’s likely part of why Donald resents him so much and it took so long to fix thing: He ignored what Donald felt and thought, sided with Della and built the ship without telling either of them. His selfishness, thinking he knows what best and treatment of donald.. all backfired horribly. Della sussed out the ship.. and I still feel she was suspicious on her own.. and that Bradford telling her was him simply handing her a lit fuse knowing it’d go off and WHATEVER happened as a result of this would break scrooge. Even if the rocket had gone off saftely and everything was fine.. he could easily claim Della threatned him,k which she probably did and he simply went with it, and either way Donald would be unable to forgive either SCrooge or Della for the deciet. It just went better, and worse than he could’ve anpiciapted: much like the fantastic four she took the ship in the dead of night and hit a cosmic storm, with Scrooge only finding out in time to try and help her.. but the storm hit the ship.. and unlike the ff instead of gaining the power to turn invisible, she simply disappeared. She was lost. He and Donald didn’t speak again after Donald found out till 6 months ago. 

If that wasn’t heartbreaking enough.. it gets worse. The kids, full of fresh pain and anger over Scrooge’s part in things, their mom abandoning them, and their uncles hiding this for decades.. take it out on the one person there. Frank and Matt recently said in an artcle detailing the best 7 episodes from one site, or at least what the site considered to be the best, that Donald was absent because  he also knew and would’ve told them sooner. I also feel it’s because he would’ve disarmed this conflict, at least admitting what scrooge did alongside beakley. As mad as he was.. his own anger had started to disapate. The wound was fresh to the boys and thus they lashed out. 

Dewey blames him for it outright, Huey tell shim he should’ve called her back, and Louie tells him he shoudl’ve sent a fleet of ships to find her. As we find out in the somehow even MORE crushing ending he did the last two and as I made clear, and the show does, this was Della’s horrible decision. She took an unfinsihed rocket, she left her kids, she did this. While she regretted it and I don’t hold it against her because she spent 10 years away from the mon the moon, she’s suffered THROUGHLY for it and I don’t feel I need to pile on, Scrooge wasn’t wholly responsible. Still partly. Dewey makes things worse by impling scrooge GAVE UP ON HER because it cost too much. 

Look the rest of it is valid, if misguided, as Beakley tries to chime in on it and correct them knowing the full story. But claming, no matter how greedy he is that Scrooge would ABANDON HER.. that’s just wrong and he knows it. It’s why Scrooge gets so upset.. and why he pushes the last two people in his corner away. Webby critisizes building the rocket and Scrooge belts out “This is a family matter, your not family”. runing his position and poisiong his one ally by lashing out at someone who DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Make no mistake, this is present day scrooge’s WORST action. The past scrooge did worse, we saw that, but this is almost worse than the goat thing. Telling a child h’ed basically adopted, ignoring the finale twist for this as it’s irrelvant and all it does is twist the knife deeper, that “she’s not family” just because he wants someone to be mad at besides his boys... that’s fowl. Everyone’s against him except launchpad and tha’ts where his stubbornesst ragically comes in: he digs in his heels refuses to explain.. and the plane crashes due to it. though safely. Their safe.. but the family is broken. 

So we get our hell of an ending scenes. Donald cheerfully announces to the boys, who earlier had no intention of leaving anyway, the boats finished.. only for Dewey to inform him “We know abotu the spear of selene” . Donald is heartbroken, not only that they know.. but that he didn’t tell them. 

But since “it gets worse” is this episodes motto, we end on Beakley, Webby and Duckworth all leaving on vacation. How a ghost does vacations I dunno, maybe he’s going to go to Amity Park. Point is Webby, despite EVERYTHING , is crestfallen he’s not even going to say goodbye and still worried. As I said in my review of the finale.. it’s her heart that makes her and while Scrooge may be a dick right now.. he’s family. So we get the final lines of the episode Beakley: Well, you've successfully pushed your family and everyone who ever cared about you away... again. I hope you're happy. Scrooge:I AM

It’s just damn heartbreaking.. once again he’s lost everything and is too bitter to admit it and try and get it back. And as we see between the lines.. the boys were wrong: He drained his bin and his buisnesses creating a fleet to get Della back, and kept going despite the expense. He did everything he could to call her back. Nothing worked.. and he only stopped because the board yanked him away, Bradford sneering with pride as his plan, which backfired HORRIBLY, had at last finally gotten him what he wanted: a broken scrooge tired of adventure. And as Scrooge sits in his chair seething.. he’s broken again, angry, with tears in his eyes, loving nobody.. and nobody loving him, eerily mimickcking his first appearance in comics. 

Final Thoughts: 

This episode is a masterpice. It’s perfectly paced, with only a minor flaw tha’ts qwuickly snuffed out for a gripping drama. This was a gamble, taking 9 minutes where ther’es almost no jokes and just pure tensino and heartbreak.. but it paid off. This episode is one of the series finest and leads to one hell of a finale but on it’s own.. it’s nigh untouchable. This is the series at it’s best, and the finale and later information (More about Della and the spear, WEbby’s true origin, bradford’s role in all this and role as head of fowl), only make it better, with all those things being aware to the creators but not us. They really made us wait for this reveal but damn if it wasn’t perfect. 

Next Time: Webby, Bentina and Launchpad try to desperatley piece the family back together before the boys and donald leave forever.. and Scrooge’s darkest hour leaves him vunerable for his greatest foe. It’s finally time to get back to Lena as the Shadow War descends over our heroes.

If you liked this review, follow for more and you can comission your own reviews by paying me 5 bucks to review any episode you like. Message me to talk it over. And if you’d rather get a gaurantted review every month, hit up my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. For 5 bucks a month you get a review every month and as of now special thanks in each review. Even a buck a month gets the thanks and helps and my next stretch goal, which is 5 bucks away nets everyone a review of darkwing duck everymonth for my lovely patreons to vote on. Special thanks to my patreons Emma and Kev, and I will see you at the next rainbow. 

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #211: ... By Force of MIND!

September, 1981

THE OLD ORDER CHANGETH!

Oh hey, Dazzler, Hercules, Black Widow, Moon Knight, Angel from X-Men, Yellowjacket, Black Panther, Tigra, and Hawkeye?

Are you joining Captain America, Wasp, Beast, Thor, and Iron Man as the new Avengers?

Is this going to be the next biggest roster since the Korvac Saga?

Possibly! Jim Shooter is back and he was the guy behind that story.

Jim Shooter is very back, something the creative credits make sure you don’t miss.

“Joyfully welcome back long-time star Avengers scribe, me, Jim Shooter -- ‘cause I’m writing these credits, and, also I’m the boss!”

Charming. Non-facetiously.

It has similar energy to the ol’ Stan Lee introductions. And is probably just as much a pretense. Eh.

So the story “... By Force of MIND!” starts in the Avengers conference room.

And penciler Gene Colan sure has interesting ideas what that should look like.

We’ve seen the Avengers’ conference room a couple times in various books. They tend to have a grand conference table with assigned chairs?

Look at this one from Avengers Annual #10.

Or the one just as recently as last issue #210.

Pretty big overall. Suitably grand.

But the conference room has apparently been redecorated because it looks different. The personalized chairs are still there.

But the table is puny. It looks like the Young Avengers table at Thanksgiving. Set up off to the side for all the kids. Its dinky. It doesn’t look like all the Avengers can fit around it.

Which possibly supports Captain America’s point when he decides that the Avengers roster needs to be trimmed down to only six.

All those people on the cover are going to be really disappointed to hear this.

Captain America: “The Avengers have a habit of playing for high stakes! I believe that a lean, close-knit group is better... stronger!”

Beast goofs that they’ll need explosives to dislodge him from the team.

Also, there’s a trapeze on the roof of the conference room. Why. I mean, I know why. Your acrobatic characters need to be casually acrobatic at random times or they’ll be bummed out. But also why.

Wonder Man isn’t as bothered. Even after all this time on the team, he doesn’t feel like he’s ever really belonged here doing this hero stuff.

Vision and Scarlet Witch are selling themselves as a package deal. You get both or you get neither.

Captain America gives the Avengers some time to rest and think but they’ll reconvene at 1600 for the new roster announcement.

So there’s 9 people in or adjacent to the Avengers. Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Beast, Jocasta, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, and Wasp. Three are gonna have to go.

All of this possibly getting fired, gives a pretty dour attitude (except for Wasp who doesn’t seem very concerned and probably doesn’t have a reason to be. Would you want to tell Wasp that she’s fired? I wouldn’t). Beast decides to lighten things up.

By causing problems on purpose.

So Beast bounces through the crowd of Avengers, jostling them all, and stealing Wonder Man’s glasses. Who hates having his glowing eyes show.

Scarlet Witch: “What on-- !? Beast! You crazy -- !”

Beast: “Moi? Crazee? Begging your pardon, mademoiselle witch. I am merely, how you say... playful! So, like gimme some space to be a jerk in, you know? Okay?”

At least he knows he’s being a jerk??

And then he runs off with Wonder Man’s glasses, goofing all the way.

Wonder Man: “Come on, you lame-brained blue-furred buffoon!”

Beast: “Hmmf! I’ll have you know, sir, that I am a highly intelligent blue-furred buffoon. I hole a dozen PhDs! I speak fifty-three languages... but I tell you, I don’t get no respect! Wanna hear me say ‘eat my dust, jocko,’ in Latverian?”

In the face of all this buffoonery, Wasp still doesn’t really care.

She decides the done thing is to go get her hair done for the big meeting. And sure this is short notice but she’s Janet Van Dyne. She’s going to have a movie starlet’s appointment bumped for her.

Scarlet Witch reflects that maybe the reason Jan isn’t worried about the possibility of being cut is that the Avengers aren’t her whole life. She has other stuff going on. A husband. A fashion line. The fabulous existence of being Janet Van Dyne.

Jocasta comes and tries to ask Vision for advice. Even after her big focus story, she still feels like an outsider. And she doesn’t have a life outside the Avengers. So unlike her brain donor Wasp, she is very worried about getting kicked out.

Jocasta: “You’ve learned to fit in, even though you’re a robot, as I am. Please... help me to...”

Vision: “I beg your pardon, Jocasta. I am a synthezoid, not a robot! As such, I am a perfect meld of computer microcircuitry and living, synthetic flesh! In all ways I am a fully functional man! I have a wife -- who needs me now! I cannot help you with your dilemma.”

And then Vision peaces out of this conversation by flying through the ceiling. Even though he’s going to join Wanda who is in an adjacent room. Ya weird, Vision.

You’re also massively unhelpful whenever anyone asks you for advice.

This is fully the second time Jocasta has asked him for advice. At least he didn’t trash the room in an angst ‘I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS AHHHH I MISS WANDA’ tantrum this time.

Jocasta is left alone. Which basically sums up her time in this book. Poor, poor robot. She’s so lonely she goes off on an existential soliloquy right outside Vision and Wanda’s room. Which is a bit passive aggressive. But hey. Superheroes.

Jocasta: “Are you truly so much different, Vision? So much better than I? I know that my voice rings metallic... but yours is cold hollow and emotionless!”

“I have built-in sensors! I can see! I can hear! I can feel! I function well enough? Don’t I? Don’t I? What does it take to be alive?”

“Does it take warm flesh? Am I merely animated because I am made of metal? I did not choose to be what I am!”

“I am what Ultron made me! Ultron -- the evil robot nemesis of the Avengers! He made you too, Vision -- reconstructed you from a long-dead android body! Both of us rebelled against his evil! Both of us sided with the Avengers!”

“Why, then, am I less than you? Is it because you are loved... and I am alone? Ultron... loved me...”

;__;

Poor robot lady.

I do wonder why the Avengers have been so indifferent to her presence. She did come to them during a chaotic moment in the team history. Vision was based on Wonder Man who wasn’t on the team while Jocasta had to coexist with Wasp from day 1.

There’s also that while both she and Vision are angsty robots that turned against Ultron, Vision (despite his famous “even an android can cry” moment) tends to be more performative with his angsts. He sulks. He broods. He smashes furniture.

Jocasta sits quietly and sadly in the background. Makes tentative stabs at companionship but backs off without ever causing a fuss. Different socialization rules for the robot genders possibly?

The good news is that modern Jocasta has learned to assert herself a lot more. She’s been a delight in the Dan Slott Iron Man book.

Anyway. Hopefully that line about Ultron doesn’t foreshadow anything. Its going to be really dumb if Jocasta brings back Ultron because the Avengers treat her with all the attentiveness of the fridge (although she may still legally qualify as one depending on how much of the Henry Peter Gyrich’s nonsense has stuck around).

Time for a sudden, drastic tone shift!

Beast exits stage Avengers Mansion, pursued by Wonder Man.

He hides up a tree like a rocket belt isn’t something Simon has or the ability to jump hella high.

But Wonder Man takes neither of those options. Instead he karate chops the tree down in one stroke. Which is impressive but I imagine Tony Stark is going to be annoyed. That tree was part of the landscaping!

Not expecting this, Beast falls out of the tree complaining that cutting down trees is illegal in New York. Wonder Man catches him and takes his sunglasses back.

Beast: “You grabbed me! But nobody’s fast enough to do that!”

Wonder Man: “People think I’m just strong! Everybody forgets that I have instantaneous reflexes and blinding speed! To me, the world looks like its moving in slow motion!”

I feel like if Wonder Man was Actually Fast all along, he’s not been getting much use out of it, considering how often he takes dumb hits in fights.

And then Wonder Man hurls Beast into the sky.

Like. Really high into the sky.

Beast: “omigosh! omigosh! omigosh! He’s nuts! He’s crazy! He’s -- who cares about him?! I’m dead! He killed me over a crummy prank! For stealing his glasses I get to end up as a blue blotch on the street. My girlfriends won’t recognize me! I can’t look! Wait a minute! This is serious! This is for real! I’m falling at hundreds of miles per hour! Nothing can save me! I’m really going to die! Like this?! I’m going to die like this?! NO!”

Wonder Man: “Relax, Beast. You’re in good hands with Wonder Man!”

Beast: *Whuff*! You -- you caught me! But that’s like catching a bullet.”

Wonder Man: “Told you I moved quick!”

Beast: “thanks. You’re a decent guy for a common ruffian, Wondy!”

I mean, he also threw you straight up, Beast. Is it so impressive that he caught you?

But with the disproportionate response to a prank by making Beast think he’s going to horribly die, Wonder Man sort of apologizes and says he’s going to miss hanging out with Beast.

See, Wonder Man isn’t going to hang around hoping he gets to stay on the team. He’s actually decided to quit. As has been Wonder Man’s thing for a while, he just doesn’t enjoy the superhero life.

He’s always struggling with insecurity and dislike of throwing himself into deadly danger a dozen times a week.

In fact, he wasn’t too broken up when Henry Peter Gyrich kicked him off the team. Back when he got super into the idea of becoming an actor. He even said at time “If I can get used to playing roles on a stage - maybe I’ll feel more comfortable in my role as superhero!”

Except, as we saw in the Shadow Lord/Berserker two-parter, Wonder Man hasn’t gotten used to playing roles on a stage.

And we’ve seen that his Avengers responsibilities are getting in the way of his acting opportunities. So. Not a surprise he’s going to leave the team as long as the roster is being rearranged anyway.

Wonder Man asks if Beast likes that superhero life of facing death all the time.

Beast: “Frankly, I never really actually considered the possibility of dying... until a minute ago. But think of the fun, glamour and girls, Simon! This is the life!”

Wonder Man: “Is that stuff really enough for a guy as smart as you, Hank? The way I see it being a hero doesn’t make you a person any more than having power makes you a hero.”

Beast: “Yeah. But pigs make good pork chops so I’m staying!”

I’m not really sure what Simon is getting at here. I think its something about finding yourself?

As the time for the meeting draws minutes away, Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake arrives at the mansion by cab. The cabdriver wondering what a guy like Blake is doing at Avengers Mansion. This Completely Normal Cab Driver is tempted to snoop but goes naw!

If he had snooped, he may have seen Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake turn into the Mighty Thor and head into the mansion.

Here’s a funny thing, Thor claims that the reason why he talks to himself so much is out of protest that there’s just not enough heralds in Midgard to tell people how cool he is.

Thor: “Thus, the mortal facade is stripped away -- and thus, once again Thor treads the Earth! Thor, god of Thunder, Prince of Asgard! Thor, son of Odin! Bah! That the son of Odin must so proclaim himself -- ! Are there no heralds about? Nay... never when thou needest one! Unannounced, I enter this Earthly ‘mansion,’ poorer than the least dwelling in Asgard!”

Thor also wonders to himself that if he is chosen to take part in the new Avengers roster, will he choose to remain with them? One presumes he has a lot of Thor business going on. That’s why he left the team back when Moondragon was temping with them. She convinced him he was slumming by hanging with the Avengers.

OH. MEANWHILE. That Completely Normal Cab Driver?

He is seized by a strange compulsion. He parks his cab in an alley, takes off his clothes and -- MOON KNIGHT?

Inside, the Avengers are assembling for their meeting to find who is fired or not. Except they’ve decided to give the rinky conference room table a pass and are instead sitting around in a room with even fewer chairs and a table less conducive to holding a meeting.

Lateral move.

I’m wondering whether there was some miscommunication between writer and artist or what.

Cap tells the Avengers to find a place to sit (when there is only one visible chair) when Jarvis interrupts.

Moon Knight has shown up and demands to see the Avengers. And the automatic defenses that should have stopped him seem to have been switched off.

Moon Knight insists that the Avengers summoned him. That he was forced to come to the mansion. Which comes as news to the Avengers.

And then a whole bunch of other superheroes show up claiming that they were also forced to come here.

Hi Hercules, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Angel, Yellowjacket, Dazzler, Tigra, Black Panther, and Iceman!

So that explains the cover.

Wow, a cover that didn’t even lie!

There’s a hustle and bustle of the various superheroes complaining about being here because they had better things to be doing. Black Panther is late for a meeting to speak with the UN Security Council!

And Dazzler complains because its too cold to sit next to Iceman. And Iceman is just like ‘it be like that.’

Oh and Tigra seems to decide to get in some impromptu yoga. Don’t know what the deal with that is. But cats be like that sometimes.

Moon Knight sees all these heroes here and comes to the conclusion that this is some weird Avengers membership drive. But he is very not interested in this!

Yeah, I don’t know that a mysterious vigilante who mostly operates in the shadows would be a good match for a public superhero team.

Cough.

Iceman too is like sorry but I’m not into the hero stuff. I was on the Champions. I did my time!

So he and Moon Knight turn to leave. Iceman saying he’s going to need to find a cab and Moon Knight clearing knowing that he’s going to be picking up that fare.

But when they get near the door, the two freeze.

I realize that Iceman is involved so I mean that they suddenly stopped moving.

And they get super belligerent at each other and start fighting. With Iceman expositing about his skills. Which is normal for a comic. But seems a bit weird in the context of whats going on.

Iceman: “I feel compelled to explain how my X-Men training helped me to get the most out of my mutant ability to freeze the moisture in the air!”

And he freezes the ground under Moon Knight’s feet so he slips like a doofus.

But when he goes to finish the fight, Iceman’s head suddenly starts to hurt. Which he says is like someone else is in his head with him. He can’t think clearly enough.

While Iceman is distracted, Moon Knight throws some of his moonerangs at Iceman who blocks them. But neither can continue as the pain in their heads incapacitates them both.

Yellowjacket: “Wait a minute! I know who must be behind this! That arrogant self-styled g-- *uhh*”

And Yellowjacket freezes in place, as if in a trance.

The Avengers are concerned but Angel suddenly starts flying around the room, saying he can’t resist, he just has to flyyyyyy

Which apparently offends Tigra for some reason. Some mysterious reason. How mysterious.

Angel: “The Angel’s in the air! Watch me do my stuff!”

Tigra: “So, you think you’re pretty special, huh, Wings? Well, you’re just another bird to Tigra, the She-Cat -- and cats eat birds!”

Angel: “Sounds wild -- ! But you’ve got to catch me first!”

Tigra: “I will Bird-Man! I will -- with my nice, sharp claws! And, once I do, I’m plenty strong enough -- to tear your precious little wings right off!”

Eeeeeeeeesh. Well that’s retroactively a sore subject. Angel has his wings badly injured during the Mutant Massacre storyline and they end up amputated, sending him into a depression. And then stuff happens stuff happens, its his college roommate Cameron Hodges’ fault, Apocalypse gives Angel metal murder wings.

But in the here and now before that series of events, we must assume something similar to the sudden antagonism between Moon Knight and Iceman.

Something weird is going on and stating out loud that you’ve figured out what just gets you put in a trance.

Of course, I know what’s going on because I peeked ahead so I’ll just go ahead and tell you its M- *uhh*

Hahah, just kidding! Can you imagine, though? Anyway, its Moondragon.

She’s lurking behind the Avengers watching them watch this nonsense. They don’t notice her because she’s decided she doesn’t want them to. Until she does.

But before that, hey, time to call out Beast.

Beast: “Hey-- ! That’s not a costume! Tigra’s for real! She’s like a cat ... covered with fur -- like me! I should be thrilled, I guess... But instead, I find it vaguely unsettling!” 

Look, furries can’t judge furries for being furry. Its the law.

Anyway, Moondragon lets the Avengers notice her and they turn around and go ‘oh ffs its Moondragon’ more or less.

Moondragon: “I sensed your need for order... for organization! So I returned!”

Iron Man: “What?! What right do you have to interfere?”

Moondragon: “Why, divine right, naturally!”

You may not like her but you have to admire her confidence.

She recaps her backstory a bit, including her belief that she’s Actually A Goddess of Mind. Because she was raised by the demigods of Titan and she’s super psychic.

I’m not sure how super psychic. I don’t think she and Jean Grey, for example, have ever locked horns. And Jean Grey is kind of the byword for super psychic.

She’s at least psychic enough that she gave Daredevil his vision back. I think that’s psychic?

I do wonder how Moondragon stacks up on the Grey scale. But not enough that I want that kind of dick waving contest between the Avengers and X-Men. There’s enough of that already.

So after explaining how great she is the Avengers basically react with ‘oh ffs, we did not miss this’ and ask what this has to do with this circus.

Moondragon: “Come now, Iron Man! Who better than I to bring order to the tangled affairs of this company? When last I left this august assemblage, my status was still Avenger-on-call -- meaning that I would aid you in times of dire need! I am needed now! -- And so I am here!”

Iron Man: “Swell.”

I think I’ve actually missed her advanced state of arrogance. Or maybe I’m just charitably inclined to her because she and Phyla-Vell got back together and alive in the current Guardians of the Galaxy run.

Anyway, Hawkeye has not missed her advanced state of arrogance and decides to peace out. He’s got an actual paying job to do and he’s late for work because Moondragon dragged him out here.

Moondragon tells him he can go. FOR HIS FATE LEADS HIM AWAY FROM THE AVENGERS FOR NOW!

Hawkeye: “Baldy, if you’re so hot why couldn’t you figure that out without dragging me across town?”

Good point, Hawkeye.

Honestly? I think she did it to troll you.

Black Widow and Black Panther also take off. Black Panther to his UN thing and Black Widow back to her job with SHIELD.

Moondragon doesn’t stop them. So I’m guessing their fates also lead them away from the Avengers for now. But. Why bring them? They didn’t do anything?

Moondragon, were you just padding out the numbers for a more exciting cover? Dammit, Moondragon!

Hawkeye is Hawkeye and thus extra extra so he shoots a suction cup arrow at a helicopter to hitch a ride instead of taking a taxi. And as he dangles from it, he muses melancholic about what Black Widow and he once had. And ironically, Black Widow is also thinking about him and sure that he doesn’t care for her anymore.

Womp womp.

Inside the mansion, Moondragon decides to continue, to the protests of Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.

So she yells SILENCE! and paralyzes them, just like with Yellowjacket.

The assorted crowd of everyoen else fusses and wonders what to do but Moondragon takes charge and demands that Dazzler show her stuff.

Or rather:

Moondragon: “You use your gift frivolously... as part of a musical act! Please demonstrate!”

That’s... a way to request that, yes.

Dazzler doesn’t like her tone but decides to demonstrate anyway. Cranking her pocket radio and converting the sound waves into a dazzling light show.

Dazzler: “I.... uh. Also skate! Not much of a power, huh?”

Moondragon: “Hmm! Greater than you suspect... but i sense that your desire to be a minstrel is deep and sincere!”

Minstrel? Really? Psychics have no excuse for not knowing the right word.

I’m getting a real mixed vibe from Moondragon talking to Dazzler. Its like she’s being condescending and complimentary at the same time.

But since she senses that Dazzler just wants to do disco stuff, she tells her that she can go.

Dazzler isn’t sure whether to leave the Avengers to deal with this or as she thinks “Baldy’s rap sounds real cool but this scene is definitely tense!” but Scarlet Witch tells her it will be alright.

So Dazzler goes. “When the Scarlet Witch says go -- I go!”

Dazzler knows the score.

With Dazzler gone, Moondragon is like ‘welp lets get back on with it’ but Scarlet Witch has had it.

Scarlet Witch: “Enough! We demand that you cease this outrage! We can make our own decisions.”

Moondragon: “Can you? Some of you would choose to stay out of force of habit... or loneliness... or fear of failure in the world beyond these walls! You are children! It is far better that I choose!”

And now Iron Man has had enough. And has also had an idea.

While his body may have been paralyzed by Moondragon, a lot of his armor functions are thought activated because, hey, I don’t see a lot of buttons on him, do you?

So all he has to do is think WHOOOSHy thoughts and WHOOOSH he goes, flying through the ceiling of Avengers Mansion. For once, it is Tony Stark who destroys Tony Stark’s home.

And once he’s outside Avengers Mansion, he is apparently far enough outside her range that he can now move. And since “brainwaves are electromagnetic in nature” he turns on his built-in transceiver to emit a microwave psionic jamming signal.

Which is something that he just can do!

The effect of which is that it’ll make Moondragon “feel like she’s got static on every channel!”

Sure!

Kind of reminds me of the First Foundation’s anti-psychic defenses they made against the Second Foundation. Ah, classic sci-fi. Sometimes it teaches us things like how to fight specifically Moondragon.

Moondragon is sure that she can overcome the jamming if she can just regain her concentration but...

With psychic frequencies jammed, the paralyzed Avengers start to spring into action.

So she just puts up a force field. Projected from her spaceship in Earth orbit and activated with a remote control in her glove.

Aside from the other things I’ve given Moondragon, I’ll also give her this: she came prepared.

Moondragon: “Why must you resist me so? Why can you not simply acknowledge that you need my godly guidance? We are wasting valuable time! I have yet another group of candidates to summon... but I cannot dally here much longer!”

I really want to know who her B Squad would have been.

But with the Avengers trying to break down her force field and Iron Man swooping back in to help, Moondragon decides ‘hey fuck this actually’ and teleports away.

Moondragon: “By the braided ring! How naive... how foolish you are! Perhaps I am wasting my time on your petty affairs! All right then -- enough! Have it your way! I am needed elsewhere in the galaxy! Farewell!”

And she doesn’t die on the way back to her home planet.

I do like that she recontextualizes the scenario as being actually this is a waste of her time and she’s just throwing pearls before swine. She’s going to go somewhere that appreciates the work she’s doing out of the goodness of her heart.

She is horrible. And like with Emma Frost, I just kinda appreciate that in a character.

With Moondragon not here to force people to stay, Thor tells all the non-Avengers to fuck off. Not very gracious, Thor. They were forced to come.

Iceman leaves and reminds everyone and me that his life goal is actually to be an accountant. Something I’m surprised by every time I hear it.

He even offers to help the Avengers with their budgets or tax forms. Heck of a guy.

Angel also leaves but muses that he kind of hates to.

Angel: “I... sort of hate to leave! I haven’t really done much with my life since the Champions broke up! -- Besides hang around with the X-Men a little! I never thought about becoming an Avenger --! Maybe I ought to!”

This is the thought process that will probably lead him to form X-Factor and that road leads to Cameron Hodge and Angel becoming Archangel. Dammit, Moondragon!

Although, the X-Man I really want on an Avengers team is Cyclops. He’s so defined by being an X-Man and by being a leader of X-Men, I want to see what he does on a team that already has plenty of leaders. I want to see if he goes through a weird character transformation like Beast and becomes relentlessly chill.

Alas.

Anyway, Tigra speaks up and says “I gather that you guys weren’t really looking for new members, but now that I’m here... uh, any chance?”

Cap is dubious because he doesn’t know a thing about Tigra (except that he gave her clothes to Patsy Walker) but Hercules is like hey we all saw how she tried to beat up Moondragon, that shows she has mettle.

Plus, there are Avengers that Hercules knows nothing about, which is totally the same thing.

Hercules: “You, for instance! You are called Wonder Man, though in sooth, I know not why!”

Wonder Man: “Really? Well, I... I’m as strong as Thor... almost...”

Hercules: “Eh? What?! HAVE AT THEE, THEN!”

And then he punches Wonder Man through a wall.

God, I love Hercules.

And then he tries to wrassle him, just pleased as all get out that Wonder Man is still conscious after Hercules gave him a big punch. “What fun!”

Wonder Man is less pleased.

Wonder Man: “Why are you doing this? Why are you attacking me for no reason?”

Hercules: “Men must brawl to know one another! How better to learn the measure of a man -- ? And what greater gift can a man give another than the thrill, the glory, the joy of battle? I am a friendly fellow who would often give this gift -- but, alas, most mortals are too frail to receive it. You are not, though! You and I may batter freely!”

Hercules just wants to punch people to be friendly but poor guy is just too swole for most men. He needs a real sturdy friend to beat the shit out of.

Wonder Man squirms out of the wrassle and clocks Hercules through a different wall. As the Avengers just watch like ‘yup this is the kind of day this has been.’

Hercules is in good spirit about being clocked through a wall and decides that now he and Wonder Man are friends and that Wonder Man is truly worthy to be an Avenger.

Wonder Man sheepishly mentions that actually he was quitting to pursue a career in acting and WHY HERCULES LIKES THAT JUST AS WELL!

Hercules: “Acting? Why of late, Hercules has kept company with those mortals known as the ‘jet set.’ I know many producers and directors! Come, I’ll introduce you to them! And the women, friend Wonder Man!”

Captain America, bemused: “you meet some strange folks in this business.”

There’s an non-existent Wonder Man and Hercules Take Hollywood Buddy Comedy Book and its a crime that its non-existent.

Geez, Marvel. GEEZ.

Anyway, that’s Wonder Man gone. Out of one buddy comedy into another.

Tigra reminds the Avengers that she’s still here and still wants to be in the Avengers.

Tigra: “Yeah... uh, back to my little problem... I’ve been at loose ends for a while... and I really want to belong somewhere! I know I could cut it as an Avenger! Please?”

This time, the objection is that the Avengers just don’t have room for a new person. They were trying to pare back! Not recruit!

But Beast interjects and reveals he is also leaving.

Beast: “Wondy and I had a talk this morning that started me thinking -- and I hate to admit it, but a couple of things Moondragon said hit home! You know, I used to be a scientist! I used to have a future besides my next gag and tomorrow night’s date! I want to see if there’s anything left of Hank McCoy besides a ‘blue-furred buffoon!’“

Hank’s early character beats on the Avengers were him struggling to find what his place on the team would be. He couldn’t be the strongest with Iron Man or Thor on the team. He couldn’t be the smartest with Iron Man again, Black Panther, or Yellowjacket. Wonder Man joining the team. Wonder Man joining the team gave Beast someone to be there for and with. But mostly Beast’s tenure has been kind of... party time for him. He’s been the fun member of the team. Going out to parties and juggling multiple dates and telling jokes.

Its been a fun time for Beast but he’s not really been living up to his potential And there were times he could have become the scientist on the team again. Or helped as one. Yellowjacket hasn’t been on the team as a core member for a bit. But he stuck in his role as the team clown.

Like with Thor, Moondragon has convinced Beast that he’s been sort of slumming it with the Avengers and now he’s gotta go rethink his character.

Where does this lead him? Why, he’s going to join the Defenders! And going to try to get that non-team team more organized like a team team. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, I haven’t read a lot of Defenders! Hopefully the Defenders podcast I listen to gets to that point soon!

But Beast isn’t the only one Moondragon has swayed.

Vision and Scarlet Witch likewise announce that they’re quitting the Avengers.

Vision: “Perhaps we will not succeed in finding a place among ordinary people -- but we must try!”

So perhaps influenced as well by the conversation Wanda had with Jan where Wasp wasn’t worried about losing her spot on the team. Which Wanda attributed to Jan having a life outside the Avengers. And apparently Wanda and Vision have been afraid to try for that. Until Moondragon dunked on her for it.

Geez. If there’s anything Moondragon is good at, its getting Avengers to quit the team. She got Thor and Hellcat last time. This time she got Beast, Vision, and Scarlet Witch.

So there’s room for Tigra now but also too much room. They were aiming for six and even with Tigra, they’d only have FIVE THERES ONLY FIVE CLEARLY.

Jocasta, in the background: -saddest robot in the world-

Yellowjacket shrugs and decides to rejoin as a full-time member to get the number up to six. His research hasn’t been going great lately anyway so he has time in his schedule.

Feeling overlooked, just like last issue, which was a filler which was supposed to address the Avengers overlooking her, Jocasta decides to slink away. Just leaps out the window and runs away from home.

Jocasta: “They didn’t even notice me... didn’t count me! Was it an oversight? Or had everyone already made up their minds that I would be one of those eliminated? What difference does it make? I am nothing to them! They do not want me here! Maybe I’ll find someplace where I am wanted! Maybe I’ll find someone... who loves me!”

=(

And where does Jocasta go from here?

She wanders the country looking for love, presumably in all the wrong places, and is seized by a per-programmed compulsion to rebuild Ultron. This leads to a big team up between the Thing, Machine Man, and her and Jocasta sacrifices herself to help stop Ultron. The Avengers hold a memorial and Machine Man attends, realizing that he had loved Jocasta.

So plus side: she does find someone to love her. Minus side: she dies and also its Machine Man.

Double plus side: she’s eventually rebuilt. Dies a couple more times. But she’s currently alive.

It’s going to turn out that this was a failure of communication.

(On the team less than a day after basically begging to join and she’s already made herself at home and is hogging the entire couch. How very cat of you, Tigra.)

Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor had decided privately to ask her to stay on as a Special Substitute Avenger, keep living in the mansion, and help out when its needed.

In the hubbub of Moondragon’s recruitment drive I guess they forgot to bring it up. I feel like its something you should have approached her with before the meeting, just to make sure she was okay with it.

Hindsight and all.

The snubbing from Vision definitely didn’t help.

Iron Man: “I hope she comes back! -- And I sure hope Moondragon doesn’t!”

Hah.

I do wonder what the initial plan going into the meeting would have been, before Moondragon took it over. What roster had Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America decided on before Moondragon talked three Avengers into quitting and introduced Tigra to the team?

I guess we’ll never knoooow.

Captain America muses that although it seems like they drove Moondragon away, she may have gotten what she actually wanted. “What if she used her mental powers subtly to influence the decisions that were made?”

And its possible because of how her speech influenced the three people who quit.

The thought just about makes Iron Man furious.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it because the news shows up to get coverage of the last panel new roster AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! moment.

I do love a good last panel new roster Avengers Assemble moment.

And that was Jim Shooter’s first issue back. And a pretty great first issue too.

Not that the previous issues have been bad necessarily but he definitely brought a sense of fun to this issue. Even though there’s some forced fighting for those ACTION SCENES most of it is just character interactions. Even some of the pointless fights.

And like writers like to do when they take over a book, Jim Shooter draws a line in the history with a shake-up to the team roster. Reintroduces Moondragon into the book because he has unfinished business with her.

I’ve actually been reading the original Star Brand book by Shooter and the writing is night and day. Its all text text text words words words but its much punchier here. Though there are some strange spelling and punctuation choices.

Still, I’m excited to have a consistent writer back on and I’m even excited about it being Jim Shooter. I hated his first run on the book on first read and then appreciated it more the second time through. And I’ve heard interesting stuff about this upcoming run.

Psst, follow @essential-avengers​. You are being mentally influenced by Moondragon to do so. Wait, this is a counterproductive self-promote. Er, like and reblog because you choose to?

[gezelligheiid2]

okay so. those of you who talk to me about elder scrolls know I don’t entirely like the portrayal of the Clockwork City as seen in ESO. this is kinda a big post of headcanons and other things to give you guys, my buddies, a better idea of how I view the Clockwork City when I write about Sotha Sil or Sulkan.

What is the Clockwork City:      So, basic concept is a city that’s some combination of “magic, metal, and natural” elements, but why. What is the goal of the Clockwork City? In some respects, I agree that the Clockwork City is meant to be some sort of “higher plane of existence” that is more perfect than Nirn. Truly, it is a place of learning. The City is meant to be inhabited by the people Seht believes have the capacity to learn something from their time there: it’s not a place for random people, nor is it a place that you can enter because you know someone that might live there. The City is a huge work in progress, even when Seht dies, and is never fully complete. 

Does it still have those robots tho?:      Kinda. I’ll be totally honest with you, my main beef with the Clockwork City in ESO is the whole SIRI thing it’s got goin on. I hate it. Apparently, it’s Sotha Nall’s voice that you hear? Cool. I still hate it. There’s no voice that reads off readings to you or welcomes you to places, and that goes for the factotums as well. So, the semi-human robots are still around, but they don’t talk. Factotums are mainly just used for basic jobs, it allows Apostles to do more important work while still sustaining the City as a whole. So watering or picking crops? Factotums. Cleaning? Factotums. Easy repairs? Factotums. However, there are still plenty of basic jobs that need to be done, who does those?

Yeah Marcus who does those other basic jobs?:      A p o s t l e s. Alright, lemme get fuckin zesty with you: knowledge doesn’t only mean “making robots”. The part earlier where I said this was a city for people who would learn from being there? I mean it. You aspire to learn banking? Well shit, the city needs one of those, so Seht might pick you up and give you a place there. You wanna make food with all kinda of wacky ingredients? Well the Apostles gotta eat, so you might get picked too. Want to run your own store? Fuck man, the city needs that: you’ve been chosen. Now, most Apostles end up as the Robot people since that’s what this place is known for. Maybe, you already know where I’m going with this. 

Where?:      Fuckin class system. Get hyped, the Clockwork City has an upper and lower class, and I think you already know what I mean. It’s like the real world where people see 4 year college as being super cool and awesome and 2 year college is not as good or cool and fuck them for thinking that but I digress. So get this: the Clockwork Apostles that are considered “Seht’s faithful” think that they’re more important and all around better. It didn’t start like that, but when you bring beings from Nirn to a “new, better Nirn” they’re going to bring their own fucked up brains with them. If you ask Seht, he would say that every person in the city is his apostle. If is ask the Clockwork Apostles: they’re the only apostles. For that reason, most of the non-robot people don’t call themselves apostles because then it just starts an argument. Clockwork Apostles gated off their ranks only for people of “reAl inTElleCtUAl PerSuITs”. However, there isn’t really a monetary class system? There isn’t a district that lives in poverty while the others don’t coughslagtowncough. This is a place of learning, not of wealth. Seht wants you there, he’s not going to just let you starve and die. The people Seht selects to live here have homes that they don’t need to pay for and are given a sum of money to take care of food and other things. However, jobs are still a thing and its a good way to get money since what you’re given for being there isn’t enough to furnish your house of buy something nice for yourself. I went on a tangent whoops. Anyways, these apostles that have other pursuits are called “Cogs” by the Clockwork Apostles: referring the whole idea of cogs in a machine, but enforcing that they’re not cool or special. Which is rude. 

Wait why does Seht let them be like that?:      Honestly, because he’s soft. They’re his kids, that’s how he treats them. But that doesn’t mean that discipline is something he does well. He doesn’t. That’s the problem. 

Also you mentioned free houses:      Hell yeah I did. When Seht kidnaps you into the ether, he makes sure you have somewhere to go. Sure, they’re little starter places meant for just one person, but that’s the beauty of it. There are plenty of other places to live, Seht even gets excited when someone wants to put their skills to work and build something themselves, but that’s all extra. If you want to just do research and live in your little place? Cool, thats kinda what the spirit of the city is all about. You found someone you want to marry, maybe have some kids? Neato, there are bigger houses you can invest in by working. 

Wait but isn’t this place religious?:      That is a good question: it is. But it wasn’t meant to be. Seht isn’t like the other Tribunes, he’s not preachy or anything and really isn’t all that temple aligned when you think about it. However, a God doesn’t have to say scripture for people to start making it. The Truth in Sequence isn’t a document written by Seht, it’s written by his “Fourth Tourbillon”. You know what that means? No. It doesn’t mean anything. Aside from that fact that a Tourbillon is a watch-piece, we have no idea what the job he’s bragging about it. What we do know, is that Seht has said some things about how he sees the Clockwork City as being a perfect world, but he really hasn’t talked much about the beliefs the Clockwork Apostles seem to think he has... Shedding your weak mortal skin for metal? He’s never said anything about it. The union of flesh and machine? I mean, he makes those things but that’s not really his end goal. The Dwemer are bad? Where do you think his designs came from: the Dwemer. Seht lets these beliefs fester since, well, he’s never said what he believes in public. He’s like a real god: vibing while his followers all freak out and make assumptions about what he does or does not like based on second-hand accounts. 

Are you done:      No. I gotta talk. About the fuckin water. You know what Seht likes? Water. He grew up seaside, his House was known  for magic and fishing. So, I don’t like that ESO shows all the water being polluted. And no one cares. The water is clean, the only oil you might see would be from machines that might have broken and fallen in or broken pipes. The water is normal. Also while I’m on this, weather is weird. Seht has engineered the systems that involve the weather and its pretty cool. You can see sunrise, sunset, moon phases, and even stars. What won’t you see? Rain. Why are there trees and grass? Magic. The Clockwork City exists outside of time and space, so I don’t find it hard to believe that the ground is weird and can sustain these weird forms of plants: the city is also watched by a Magnus so there’s a lot of magic involved. Does it make sense? Not really. But you know what makes less sense: letting it rain in your clock city.

Oh shit don’t they eat paste:      It’s around, but there are more kinds of food available. Honestly the paste happened when Seht tried to make cooking robots and maybe someone was into it. 

Is that fake Heart still a thing?:      Yeah, Seht made a replica of Lorcan’s Heart to power the city once he’s gone. Here’s the kicker: what the hell powers the Heart? So I offer you this: the Heart doesn’t last. Once Seht is dead, there’s a time-limit to how long the city will be on. It’s really more so people have time to get ready and leave once he dies. And that’s what happens. He dies and the city empties out. The gears rust with time and things don’t operate anymore. The plants die and water dries up, the Fabricants just. kinda die. No one is there to fix them or make more of them. Bigger things, more powerful things, still linger in the city: their soul gems still bursting with energy, but they can’t escape when the portals don’t even work without power. It’s a husk of what it was, now roamed by creatures that had been kept under lock and key back when the power was on...

Wait you mentioned kidnapping earlier:      That’s how you get here. Seht sees you and then just. Takes you. Welcome to the City.

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

Aries 

Romance will take you by storm this week - fulfilling your mind with new and interesting conversations. So pick up that subscription to DuoLingo and learn some French or Spanish or even Italian! You’ll enjoy ordering take-out at that fancy French Food Truck once you do.

Taurus 

Ask all your friends and they’ll tell you that you shine like a star! Right now that’s not a compliment. Get outside once in a while and get some Sun on your skin. You’re not supposed to have the surface reflectivity of an Irish Redhead!

Gemini 

Remember the last time you were in a mall and used the massage chair? Remember how much of a rip-off it was? The mall’s management company sent a registered letter letting you know that you’re not allowed back for the next year. Something about sitting in the chair backwards or something. Don’t bother to hire a lawyer for this one. Just accept it and stay away.

Cancer Moon-Child 

The expression, “Hey, what could go wrong?” is only just slightly worse than, “Hey, what’s the worst that could happen?” Even the cartoon characters from My Little Pony figured out you shouldn’t use either expression anymore. Until you’ve learned how to banish The Great God Murphy, stop using those lines!

Leo 

We’ve got some Good News and some Bad News. The BAD news is, “It's as bad as you think it is.” The GOOD news is, “It’s not going to get any worse.” So you might as well just deal with it instead of waiting. You could ask to borrow Libra’s Tranquilizer Gun if they’ve still got it from last week. 

Virgo 

With the season changing and the Sun’s position in the sky lowering, now’s the perfect time to get outside and let it shine up your ass. Enjoy it while it lasts. OH! Wait! This gives us an idea!

Libra 

Hey, Libra? Following on Virgo’s heels, how about you try your ass as a Cult Leader! Just spout some Star Trek Level semi-believable biological pseudo-reality spiritual energy charging drivel about how Sunlight on your Anus is The Next Big Thing! Have people pay you to show them the proper technique and poses, kinda like Yoga Instructors do! What’s the worst that can happen?

Scorpio 

Soup. Just more soup this week. Lots of it. Tomato, chicken noodle, chicken and rice, minestrone, Mexican Wedding, Matzah, Miso…. Doesn’t matter which, you need to eat more soup. Not because you’re dehydrated or that it’s good for you. You’re going to need the cans so you can weld a machine or attack robot. 

Sagittarius 

Don’t sell yourself short. At least not for so little. We know you’re short. You know you’re short. Anyone with vision can see you’re short. Just don’t sell yourself based on that. Base it on your skill-set. Unless that skill-set is being a human projectile at a Dwarf Tossing Competition. But still, hold out for more money! You’re worth it! 

Capricorn 

You have the athleticism of a mollusk. At least you’ve got some idea of what a mollusk even is. So treat yourself to the Captain’s Yacht Platter at Red Lobster for that! And if you REALLY like the Cheddar Biscuits, you can buy the mix and make them at home.

Aquarius 

It used to be people could pick up AM Radio on their dental braces. That’s never happened to you, Aquarius. And do you know why? That’s right, because you’ve got perfect teeth. Perfect number, perfect shape, perfect color. Even your dentist has told us that you have the whitest teeth they’ve ever come across. CONGRATULATIONS!

Pisces 

Two words for you this week: ROAD TRIP! You don’t need to get out of your car more often than to fill the gas tank if you go that far. But there’s nothing wrong with just “going for a drive”. Remember what that used to be like? Go for it and enjoy the Open Roads for a while.   

[rukakikuchi]

LOONA “So What” analysis and theories

It’s finally time! After rewatching and analyzing the music video for nth amount of times (lol), I’m here to bring you guys my personal analysis and theories for LOONA’s latest comeback “So What”!

So, without further ado... Let’s begin.

(Remember that these are only my interpretation and are not straight up facts. These are just theories that coincide with my personal view on the story of LOONA and the LOONAverse.)

Now that “So What” has finally been released, we have been shown the next chapter of the story of the LOONAverse, as well as a new side to LOONA we’ve never seen before.

So now that the next chapter of LOONA’s story has been released, it’s time to go through the music video and see what is going on.

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

An interesting observation that was made after the release of the “#1” teaser was the focus on certain facial features of the 1/3 girls; Hyunjin’s mouth, Haseul’s ear, and ViVi’s eye. 

It’s been theorized this is connected to the saying “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.”

Well, this may very well be the case for the LOONA girls now that the Moebius time loop has reset again.

Because Heejin was able to break out of the loop, the Moebius strengthened itself in order to keep the girls apart and prevent them from trying to break out again.

Yves, Chuu, and Gowon appear to be in Eden, but I don’t think that’s the case. They merged their worlds together in “Hi High”; they met to become one universe. 

Perhaps this is an Earth equivalent to Eden, a paradise that was made to keep them unaware of the truth of their world. (Think of the phrase “ignorance is bliss.”) Chuu and Gowon are happy and oblivious, but Yves is a “black swan” who is treated like an outcast.

They’ve essentially reverted back to before they ate the Forbidden Fruit and realized their true selves. Again, notice how Chuu is dressed in red (a color representing love) and Gowon in yellow (a color that can represent hope).

Without the knowledge they received upon rejecting Eden, they cannot become who they were truly meant to be. 

However, Yves being shown acting outside the norm (not dressed the same as the other ballerinas) might be a hint to that she’s still vaguely aware of that side to herself.

Odd Eye Circle are separated from each other, and have lost their powers, although Kim Lip’s situation might be different from Jinsoul and Choerry’s.

One thing that was extremely prominent to me in “So What” were Kim Lip’s eyes. Specifically, the color of her eyes. 

She is wearing pale blue eye contacts. And it’s not just in the music video; she is also wearing them in live performances of “So What”.

Now sure, K-pop idols are no stranger to this. In fact, Kim Lip isn’t the only one doing this. Yves has also been shown wearing light colored eye contacts for this comeback.

I also noticed Heejin and Choerry both looked like they had contacts in a couple performances, and I’m sure other members have done this too. But Kim Lip’s eyes have stood out the most.

This must’ve been intentional. This isn’t the first time something like this has been done for LOONA.

Remember the Halloween special stage where five of the members covered Sumni’s “Full Moon”? They had little references to the LOONAverse lore in there, too; notably, in Kim Lip, Choerry, and Olivia.

The concept seemed to be vampires, so everyone had dark red color contacts. Except for Olivia, who had pale blue/silver color contacts.

She doesn’t possess an Odd Eye, but perhaps this is a nod to her “wolf eyes”, aka the red glowing eyes we see in “Egoist”.

Choerry’s right eye, where her Odd Eye is, was a different color from her left eye; a grey blue.

As for Kim Lip, they used special makeup and placed a scar over her left eye, where her Odd Eye is.

Again, this must have been intentional.

But what does this mean for Kim Lip’s eye color in “So What”?

Well, I think that Kim Lip may still have her Odd Eye, but it has been sealed and she’s being prevented from reawakening it. 

It’s unknown whether this can be said for Jinsoul and Choerry as well, since we aren’t given any hints of them possessing their Odd Eyes. It’s possible they might have lost them completely, or if they still do have them, they just haven’t awakened them.

Regardless, the loss of their Odd Eyes means that the three have lost the special connection they shared which defined them as the “Odd Eye Circle”.

Then, we have ViVi, who is seen throughout almost the entirety of the music video with a bandana over her mouth. She’s also shown to be by herself, separated from the rest of the group.

This coupled with her lack of lines when compared to other members’ distribution of lines in “So What”, has to be more than just coincidence. 

Everything in the LOONAverse has a deeper meaning; everything has a reason for being there.

I previously mentioned that ViVi might be going through another kind of identity crisis. She’s not an android anymore; she became a human in “Love & Live”. Yet her expressions in “So What” seem almost robotic.

I believe ViVi has lost something that is vital to her identity; her voice. Because she has lost the ability to speak, she does not have a way of expressing herself and her feelings. 

That’s why she seems so robotic in the music video; she’s been placed in a similar situation to when she was an android and struggled to connect with the others when she first met them. Thus she turns to graffiti as an act of self expression as well as rebellion.

All of these instances show that some of the girls have lost an important part of themselves.

Hear no evil = Blissful ignorance of the world.

See no evil = Loss of connection.

Speak no evil = Restriction of self expression.

Without these vital parts of their identities, they are unable to find each other and realize their true purpose. So Heejin has to break them free, but she can’t do it alone.

Follow me

For this section, I’m going to try and set up the order in which I believe Heejin found the other members after falling back into the loop. This is just pure speculation on my part in order to get a better grasp of the story.

The first girl who I believe Heejin finds is Olivia. The two have always been connected with each other deeply; they were like day and night.

In fact, I think it was Olivia who found Heejin after she fell back to Earth. Think of it as a potential parallel to when Heejin met Olivia at the end of “Egoist” after Olivia had her fall to Earth.

Next, I think Heejin finds Kim Lip. Again, this could potentially parallel to how Kim Lip met Heejin in “Hi High”.

Hyunjin and Choerry have already found each other. They are constantly shown together, mirroring each other.

We see the tuk tuks circling around them, symbolizing them being stuck in the loop, but we also see them get on one of the tuk tuks.

They are taking control of their fate to break out of the loop.

Heejin, Kim Lip, and Olivia find Yeojin (hence we see them together above with the dancers in this scene), but realize Haseul is now missing. They tell Yeojin what has happened, so she starts rebelling at her school to break out of the loop.

(And yes, I’ve seen it been pointed out, Yeojin literally looks like pre-debut era Jinsoul.)

Her actions end up influencing the other students of the school. So yes, Yeojin did indeed start a school uprising. 😆

Next are Gowon, Chuu, and Yves.

We get this scene where Gowon and Chuu are running down the hall together, when Gowon suddenly stops and looks behind her. As if she heard something, felt something, that told her she needed to get out of the loop.

I think this was the moment she received a message, possibly from Olivia, to tell her what was going on and help Gowon regain her memories. She relays the message to Chuu, and later both tell Yves what’s happening. 

Yet again, another potential parallel, like when Yves and Chuu approached Gowon with the offer of escaping Eden.

So Yves starts rebelling as well, dancing freely how she wants to.

Gowon sends out the butterflies again, in order to reach the other members.

Yves joins Heejin and Olivia, along with Hyunjin and Choerry, and find Jinsoul in the subway train.

(Here’s a “blink and you miss it” moment: Olivia rips off the choker around her neck. Just like when she did it in the “XIIIX” teaser. She’s freeing herself of any restrictions.)

The last girl they have to find is ViVi, but they aren’t able to find her as easily. Like I previously mentioned, she’s constantly shown being cut off from the rest of the group, all by herself. Wherever she is, her location is somewhere that the others can’t get to, or possibly even know about.

So, how do they reach her?

A message to ViVi

Throughout the music video, we are given several shots that have a VHS static overlay effect over them. I previously mentioned how the static effect is always associated with ViVi’s memories/dreams, so this gives us a better idea of what exactly these shots we see are supposed to be.

No joke, I went through the whole music video and counted every single time we saw the VHS static overlay effect. Guess how many times we see it in the MV?

1. The chains breaking

2. Shot of ViVi’s face

3, 4, & 5. Hyunjin and Choerry with the tuk tuks

6. The members on the subway train

7. Shot of Yeojin’s face

8. Shot of Heejin’s face

9. Brief cut to static after ViVi drops the spray can

10. The sign reading “Make it burn”

11 & 12. The members on the subway train again

That’s right. We got 12 total instances of VHS static overlay in the music video!

I believe what we are seeing is Heejin and the other members sending a message to ViVi, possibly using something like the cassette tapes, in order to reach out to ViVi and let her know what they’re doing since she’s separated from the group.

Shots #9 and #10, however, I think are ViVi sending a message back, the sign reading “Make it burn” signalling to them that she got their message.

And also serving as a sign to Olivia of what she needs to do.

Burn yourself

In the beginning of the video, we see Olivia standing with a torch on what we can presume is the surface of the moon (the real location is likely the black sand beach of Iceland).

And we are given some very interesting narration.

“Do not accept the fate of the moon. Get off the track. Reveal to the world the hidden side. Burn yourself.”

Let’s break this down line by line.

“Do not accept the fate of the moon.”

The fate of the girls have always been tied to the moon, aka the heart of the Goddess. It was their destiny to meet each other and complete the moon of their world.

Their goal as LOONA has always been to find each other and break out of the loop, but what if that alone wasn’t enough?

“Get off the track.”

The “+ +” and “X X” timelines showed us the unification of the girls with themselves and their shadows, but it’s always ended the same for them. They find each other, and they try to break the loop, but the loop resets and they’re back to square one.

They kept taking the obvious choices they believed would allow them to break free. They need to do something different and cause chaos to break the loop.

“Reveal to the world the hidden side.”

Obviously referring to the back of the moon; the hidden side of themselves that they’ve never shown before. Their shadows, their truest selves that existed deep inside of them.

If they bring that side out, they can find new potential.

“Burn yourself.”

The word “burn” has been used constantly throughout this comeback since we got the first # teaser last year. Fans kept asking the question, what would they be burning?

And now, we finally got the answer.

From the description of “So What”: “It is possible to make different waves more than you can imagine if you challenge yourself with your passion(BURN), and go forward.”

From the lyrics: “Burn your intense heart.”

Deep within themselves, was a fire that was waiting to be ignited by passion. By the desire to break free of everything that held them back. To take control of their destiny; to choose their own fate. To be who they truly are.

And finally, they were ready to burn.

The beginning of the end

Olivia realized what she needed to do in order to break the loop. She was the only one capable of doing it. It was her mission, and hers alone.

“You, who was sent by God. Destroy all things without hesitation.”

Olivia has always been connected to fire, a symbol of destruction as well as purification. And now that we’ve coupled the term “burn” with fiery passion in “So What”, we are shown a second and more literal meaning through Olivia.

What if the only way to break the Moebius loop was to destroy it before it was completed? If they destroy the loop before it can complete itself, then the time loop won’t be reset.

So Olivia does what she has to, in order to free herself, to free everyone, from this curse. She burns the moon, to destroy everything.

The moon, which we associated as the heart of the Goddess, as something the girls were deeply connected to by fate, is set ablaze.

The moon that could not shine on its own without reflecting the light of the sun; the back of the moon which no one knows about.

Now it’s been lit up in flames, burning to shine its own light.

Meanwhile, down on Earth, we see all the members watching as the sky is set ablaze, with balls of fire raining down.

(Even the dance shots, we start to see them!)

We see all the members lit up in red light, representing the fire.

Heejin’s expression in particular really stood out. Her expression is sad, even heartbroken, watching the place she had once flew high to reach, now on fire and being destroyed. But she knows deep down, this will free her and her friends.

And with destruction, there will come rebirth.

The phoenix and Haseul

Like I mentioned in the breakdown for the teasers, what we see in # and “So What” is the destruction and rebirth of the LOONAverse. In order to free themselves from the loop, they had to destroy their old world to create a new one. They had to burn their hearts with passion to ignite that fire in order to be reborn.

In the final shot of the music video, as Olivia watches the flames die down on the moon, she looks down…

And there are two white bird feathers on the ground, burning, and being revived.

It’s clear who and what this represents; Haseul. The reconstruction and revival of the bird feathers after being burned shows that Haseul has been reborn.

Just like the phoenix, who rises from the ashes and is born again stronger than before, this tells us, the audience (and all LOONAs around the world), and Olivia herself, that Haseul will be reunited with the others, and she will be stronger than she was before.

And the same can be said for all of LOONA. Now that they’ve “burned themselves”, they can rise from the ashes, in a new world where they are free to take control of their fate. To reach their highest goals.

Like the phoenix, LOONA has been reborn, stronger. And now, free.

...

And that concludes my analysis of “So What”!

I was so happy with this comeback and now I’m excited to see what’s next for LOONA and the story of the LOONAverse going forward. There are so many possibilities of where they can take this story, and I am all in for the ride!

I hope you guys enjoyed my analysis, so until next time...

Stan LOONA! 🌙💖

[gg-astrology]

🌊 bts fic recs pt. II 🌊

hello if ure here for astro pls bare with me i rarely do this promise ;; 💕❤️ since its been a while, I kinda wanted to do another fic rec and show u all these cool fics ive been reading that impacted me in some ways 💕❤️

If you’re new, hello! 💕❤️ I usually rec fics that gives me a lot of cool atmospheric feels, interesting take on the trope/genres. So to start, here are two fics that are Amazing and Kinda Scary But Is So Good (and Kinda Changed My Life/Stayed With Me Still) 

Ps. The top part of this list is pretty heavy -- as in, heavy topics/subjects, read the tags and warnings on the fic as well so you don’t go in unassuming ;;. If you’re not into the first 5 i recommend on here --feel free to scroll down and just see what you like! 💕❤️ I promise I also have like, lighter stuff in here too! 💕❤️ Also: most of it’s very taegi and yoonkook heavy i know skjnsk i didn’t realize how much of them i actually read/accumulated over the years but here we go! 💕❤️

It Happened Quiet by hobimo - not sure if i rec’ed this before. But this is by far one of the most soul-impacting, life-changing fic I’ve ever read. I don’t think I’ve ever read something so true to the horror genre? But at the same time, there’s such a beautiful plot and time-travel and mystery/lore behind it. The characters are so interesting, I know it says taegi, vhope, and taegihope but it’s a lot less about the romantic side of things and I’d definitely recommend this for the *wriggle hands* entire fic. It’s amazing. Please give it a read (maybe when it’s not dark) 💕❤️

Bodies of Water by themarmalade - yoonmin, siren/horror theme and this one kept me on my toes as well 💕❤️ it’s such an interesting story and take on the fantasy/horror genre, I definitely recommend this one just as much as I do to the one above. Also, themarmalade writes alot of amazing fics-- there’s a masseur/cuddle-therapist minjoon one and also Scowl at the Moon is an amazing angsty namkook one 💕❤️AND a taejoon t’hat one weird city where the dj/narrator talks about carlos who’s so handsome’ au.. something ville??forgot the name rn... I recommend their entire body of work tbh ;; 💕❤️

Singularity by PrettyBoysTaegi (GetOutOFMyTreeNovice) - taegi, supernatural, coming back to life. DEFINITELY do not take the major character death lightly - BUT before you look away, it’s SUCH a good fic. I can’t recommend this enough, it kinda kick started by overall love and fascination for horror-themed fic and aus. There’s something to appreciate in feeling something so fully and so much, like that feeling when you’re overwhelmed with love and you can’t hold it in. It’s in your eyes, nose, pores, mouth. You’re overflowing with it and it’s just rolling out of you. Anyways I love this so much  💕❤️

in all dishonesty by fruitily - taegi, i foam and go full feral thinking about this fic sometimes. It’s so fun, so entertaining. So fucking great, I don’t. I can’t even explain. It’s light, fun, something to break you from all my heavy fic recs so far. 💕❤️

Satie by paperhearts - taegi, this one is an old one but it’s definitely an Experience. war fic? kinda? reincarnation? it’s amazing n I can’t even spoil it. Please check it out 💕❤️

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick) - I know I rec’ed this before, but the author just said they finished the last chapter and it’s been SUCH a long ride I want to rec it again for those who wants a good, long, read. One of the best fic on ao3 honestly? So well researched, so detailed. Plot driven and I just appreciate how the different element/tropes all fits together on here. It’s a mystery/thriller fic-- and it’s amazing. Yoonmintae but this aint about them this is about what’s happening. They’re in this together, and the characters themselves are so good. If you’re looking for a fic that develops and keeps you on your toes-- this is the one 💕❤️ Action, mystery, thriller, gang, magic? science? amazing.  

The Things Worth Going to War For by softlyblue - sope, I know I recommended this before but this is BY FAR the most fleshed out, understandable and digestible fantasty/adventure fic. It’s so RICH with lore and culture and PEOPLE. Even the ocs feels authentic and aren’t intrusive at all. It’s on lock so you’ll need an account, but I recommend getting an account JUST to read this fic to be honest. It’s THAT good. Also: mind the warnings! 💕❤️ OH and the fighting scenes and anticipation for war is SO good. One of the BEST fic honestly. 

And I Fall by spudcity - not sure if I rec’ed this before, taegi, constantine au, I don’t actually know what constantine au is. But the setting, the environment, the social setting AND also just the plot development and story is so captivating. It’s something else to think about like-- you coming in with nothing in mind and being able to understand the world and all of it’s expansive element just because of this fic. It says a lot about how good the author is, I hope you like this fic alot too💕❤️ 

golden haze by CaptainButts - vmin, alien au. Amazing, one of the best vmin I’ve ever read? 💕❤️  Captainbutt is amazingly good at characterization as well, so you’ll definitely see more fic recs of their stories from me for sure. Plus -- this fic definitely spiralled me into fulfilling my full aquarius mercury nature and getting into that good alien contemplation. Amazing. 

like real people do by notyoongs - yoonkook, space au and also robotic/AI au 💕❤️ This is such a nice, slow-burn, fleshed out fic. Especially in terms of characters, and also inclusion of the rest of bangtan/their subtle involvement in making the main pairing go through their development. Anyways, one of the best AI au I’ve ever read 💕❤️ It’s not angsty as well, so!! 💕❤️

everyone brave is forgiven by notyoongs - yoonkook, spiderman slash avengers au. words can’t describe how much i love this fic. Frustration at the character, dread at what’s about to happen, heart-breaking sadness at the resolution. BUT the entire ride is such a beautiful journey full of sunset-washed colours. This is definitely not of the fic you’ll have to read and it reminds you that the present is the most important, to enjoy the ride. To enjoy every emotions that you’ve faced and is given, it really makes you feel so full and grateful. I love this fic 💕❤️

Inside a sinking feeling by CaptainButts - jinkook, amazing art heist vs police au 💕❤️ Not only is the plot so good, the twists and turns, the dialogue is amazing -- plus, it has alot of actions and good old romance. Even if you don’t normally read this pairing, it’s an amazing fic I definitely recommend. They also wrote another jinkook au that’s equally amazing-- its a lifeguard/childhood crush au, but this one -- the art heist one-- is amazing. 💕❤️

From Apogee to Perigee by Namib - taegi, holiday town au. As in, there’s christmas town and there’s halloween towns. Inclusion of all members, and we trek tae’s journey in getting gifts for yoongi. It IS light and fluffy, but this story is so interesting because there’s a lot of interactions that adds onto the story. Lots of flashbacks, interactions with each member of bts adds a layer to the story in a different way. We see more and more of the relationship through tae’s interaction with others, It’s so beautiful seeing variety of emotions and depth and you have to pick up on different things here. Because taehyung as a character and narrator is oblivious or still nervous about yoongi’s affection for him. So. This is such a cool fic and interesting trope and it’s amazing I recommend it lots 

You’re My Home by heyyyjude - taegi, this is a sequel but this one hits so hard. A lot of people -- me included -- likes to think of ourselves as very giving and very demonstrative of that. That we definitely love something more, as we should, socially. But when confronted with how we actually treat/act long term and what our subconscious actions say. Sometimes we have to re-evaluate ourselves. This fic really digs deep and makes itself a home in my life because of this idea of -- re-evaluating yourself and how you love someone, the idea of prioritizing and learning how to take care of others-- knowing you’re allowed to have passions and hobbies you live and breath for outside of that. Relationships really are like that sometimes, where you do need to step back and think about things like this and how you act sometimes. Definitely recommend this lots. 💕❤️

Sweet Music Playing in the Dark by GinForInk - chaptered, namkook, a really cool take on abo dynamics and relationships plus its not as angsty as it sounds it’s actually really nice! thought provoking if you put yourself in namjoon’s shoes and think about privileges n postering. Something to think about, but overall just a really nice fic 💕❤️

Chasing the Sun by almostsophie1  - oneshot, taegi, long-fic 💕❤️there’s a lot of soulmate connection tropes out there but this one actually teleports you physically to where your soulmate is which is really interesting bc you actually. do know your soulmate + have that security a lil (in knowing its not a dream) and it’s a sweet, overall, very nice fic that doesn’t really play with my emotions 💕❤️

together we’ll count our stars by czar (cmajorchords) - namgi, radio station au. Lots of good, good feels. This one has a lot of feelings. It came at a time where I was going through something that really resonated with it, but even without my personal experience -- there’s something so sleepless and timeless about it. I recommend this for the soothing quality it has, the feeling of going through something hard and coming out on the otherside alright again 💕❤️

Kiss me hard before you go  by 77735  - sope, roommates, misunderstanding but so so so shock full of love 💕❤️ so soft, reading this was such a pleasure, a very good plot AND very good characters, lots of pining 💕❤️ Miscommunication, all the good stuff 💕❤️ But so so much love in between the lines, love it 💕❤️

You love a stone by roebling  - taegi, medusa but spin it on it’s head as in there’s a happy ending 💕❤️ love this take on it so much, actually roebling writes alot of really cool recreates of fairytales/myths like dragons and stuff -- makes me think of the holy grail but like, nicer. Definitely digestible, such a cool fic i can’t rec enough 💕❤️💕❤️ light and good 💕❤️

In each place (oh you remain) by misspamela - minjoon, hades/persephone, consent has always been a thing with hades/persephone adaptations. So this is another interesting fic on that 💕❤️ Short n sweet, but amazing 💕❤️ 

And my heart is set on you (You better shape up) by Bandit4Life - taegi, theatre au, enemies to lovers, lots of pick up lines 💕❤️ Grease au? But make it gay. The fic I didn’t know I needed until I read it and then realized its a part of my life now. So good 💕❤️

mind if i slytherin? by notyoongs - yoonkook, hogwart teachers au. Love the involvement of student and just-- the social dynamic here. Also love a happy ending. This is definitely an ‘open for surprise’ kinda deal but like-- a nice surprise. A present. C:  💕❤️

Open the Floodgates by soft_bro_fun - namjin, so good, explicit but it’s such a cool take on self-esteem thing and just. perspective, y know? how you can see yourself a certain way but through third person or in another’s eyes there’s a different narrative going on. Anyways this is good fic 💕❤️

let love get the best of us by czar (cmajorchords) - taegi, so good. 💕❤️ not as angsty as it seems, very reassuring and like--it’s just so nice. Especially when you think about -- like, the fear of being in love, it’s very valid to feel this way. I think a lot of people often choose to say no as a self-preservation. It’s something to explore 💕❤️

sucker by notyoongs - yoonkook, werewolf/supernatural au. Roommates? just very nice development and trope and just overall how it plays out. 💕❤️ A lil bit of miscommunication but not much. It’s overall a really really enjoyable fic 💕❤️

How much to give and how much to take by Aguacates - I love a lot of fic by this author so you’ll see more recs about them ;; ksjnjnsk namkook, arranged marriage au 💕❤️ please give it a read, it’s SUCH a good fic. Amazing writing and characters, I love how they have like-- a trope/plot we see around alot but they really just dig into it and made it WORK so well 💕❤️

Moonshine lovers by bedroomdemos -  taegi, taehyung as vampire, truth serum 💕❤️ honestly such a great and interesting fic! first of all i love the premise, second i love how it all played out and just -- I want more, this is a fic that makes me love it so much I keep going back to read it bc it hits different 💕❤️

Pull me Under by Oh_Hey_Tae - namseok, with yoonjinkook and vmin, cruise/life-guard au and a lot of rich frat boys 💕❤️ Along the same lines as fruitily’s taegi -- this is also a very summer-y, flirty, light hearted but v v nice fic 💕❤️ Love how the audience can see joon being flustered even tho we’re in hoseok’s narrative, but like-- it’s so nice to just, see things from hobi’s side bc we’re usually on joon’s side when he’s interacting with hobi (in namseok fics) 💕❤️ So yeah!! 💕❤️ A great read!! 💕❤️

Slytherin Your Heart by softyoongles - taegi, hogwarts au. One of the thing that really hits me is the inclusion of other characters.How in the middle of that. It elevates the main pairing without isolating them from the rest of the cast/crew. This one hits 💕❤️

the planets bend between us by sharpa - taegi, space explorers, kinda established relationship BUT i’d like to point you towards the AMAZING narrative style and how when we do time-skip/replay into the past it actually makes so much sense AND adds onto the dynamic between these two characters 💕❤️ I love it so much, it’s a fic that leaves my stomach feeling full like I’ve just had a very good meal. 💕❤️

a hold on me by CaptainButts - junghope, single-father au, amazing to see namjoon as hoseok’s kid and also junghope’s past relationship together. Embarrassing dads, also side vmin and yoonjin. Love it 

Paint by Minverse - vmin, amazing fic that explores gender/sexuality, relationships and the lgbtqa+ spaces/subjects so well? Literally one of the most well-done fic I’ve ever read that incorporates these areas PLUS all of it’s complexity. It doesn’t lose an INCH of complexity. And like, it’s NOT SAD it’s actually pretty light (?) bc we’re seeing it from -- tae’s side most of the time which is great. 💕❤️ Anyways I can’t rec this enough 💕❤️💕❤️ It’s so good!! 💕❤️ 

yellow red AND blue purple by baekyun (baruna) - namkook+namminkook royalty au AND taegi royalty au. Basically taehyung’s a bodyguard to yoonji. Kook gets married off to namjoon but he’s like-- namjoon’s fan and supporter. Jimin’s jungkook bodyguard and “some” -- it’s a complicated thing. But it’s an interesting take on world building, history and politics as well. Particularly with the taegi one, and then further in the namkook one. Anyways it’s refreshing to read, it’s on lock so you’ll have to register for ao3 to have an acc ;; 💕❤️ Having an acc is so good tho bc u can also bookmark stuff and its all in one place 💕❤️

Some classics I’d like to rec!!! 💕❤️ These ones below are fics that are probably multi-chaptered, or I just really really enjoyed. 💕❤️

If i wanted to (i do) by kaythebest - vmin, marriage au. The goodest slow burn, the best story about developing relationships and just. Ugh. I can’t recommend this one enough, it’s just so fucking good. Kept me on my toes for ages, definitely one of the best vmin i’ve read ;u; 💕❤️

Fake Sugar by minverse - jinkook, sugar daddy au but NOT what you expected. The background of these characters are so good. This is actually one of the more light-hearted one from the author, but it’s still so amazing and so good. Especially since the dynamic between jinkook has a lot of domestic stuff instead of sexual things we were expecting, and a lot of corporate/shady fun in the social atmosphere they’re in. 💕❤️

tea house special by baekhyun (baruna) - yoonkook, avatar the last air bender au. Sugar daddy as well? Kinda? Fraternizing with the enemies? Kinda? But this one’s a classic. Amazing, I love it so much. One of the best bts avatar crossover. There’s also a sequel that focuses on Jimin as an earth fighter too. Definitely check it out! 💕❤️

an inhabited world by misspamela - namseok, this one’s so good. Jump started my love for namseok fic. There’s explicit stuff as well, but I just. I love this fic 💕❤️

unfinished by fruitily - yoonkook, ghost au. Love this, love the supernatural. One of the best yoonkook ghost fic. I recommend this one like, please press the link and see for yourself!! 💕❤️

Just Skins by syubology - taegi, i dont even know what it is but it’s amazing.  Fwb au? The author said they want to do re-writes of Just Skins so!! skjsnkjsn let’s be patient. In the meantime, there’s war-fics from the author that they’re updating/currently working on? 💕❤️ 

you are my bravest everything by 777335 - vmin, long-distance. I love this one so much, it’s SUCH a good read if you haven’t read it yet. 💕❤️  Relationships are hard enough already, but when you teeter the lines between wanting to be a supportive friend but also are you interested in Them? -- it’s something that’s so *clench fist* gets me in the feels wow. 💕❤️ 

Will you B Minor? by ohdizzy - taegi prequel to Blow me like your French Horn jikook fic (its a series)  both are incredibly good. amazing. funny! i recommend reading both. You get a hefty amount of taegi in bmlyfh too.The Jikook fic is so nice💕❤️

Black&Gold by marchdahlia - yoonkook, camboy au. But guess what? The dynamic and power structure is different from their cam persona vs irl. This is such an interesting take. I love this so much tbh 💕❤️ 

Baby girl, I can’t breath by hoars - MY FAVOURITE LESBIANS!! 💕❤️taegi, but also other pairs.  This is a CLASSIC and no matter if you prefer mlm or wlw or just, idk. Anything. The plot and characters surpasses expectations and boundaries. It’s so enjoyable to read. Note that it’s very old, so some of the issues are things in the earlier days of bangtan fandom.

too cute to hurt by mimiforce - taegi, fem. This is the sweetest, softest fic ever you don’t even have to like f/f it’s just. really nice. Short and light read. Sneaky kisses.

love does(n’t) hurt by artaemin - yoonkook, one of the most beautiful fic i’ve ever read? I recommend other fics by artaemin as well. But this one -- wow. For those who wants to experience emotions for the first time, and also it’s actually like. A happy ending!!! 💕❤️

large, extra cheese, extra sauce (extra you) by vminism - taegi, pizza deliver au. This pre-dates bon voyage 2, so basically the start of the taegi resurgence and rise of taegi. Amazing fic, I love it so much. Alot of cute, soft, cheesy stuff 💕❤️

disappearing act done poorly by kyungchul - taegi, movie theater au. Past vhope, but this is very very nice and so amazing to read bc of the plot, the moments, the trope. I recommend you read something that remind you of bridget jones diary era once in your life. It’s amazing

describe your ideal type here by fruitilys - yoonkook, this is once again, a classic and an amazing yoonkook fic. Matchmaker tae. Incredibly entertaining writing. I have nothing else I would wish for 💕❤️

True or False, Taehyung? by clumsy_taegi - taegi, this one is explicit but it stuck with me because of the characterization of Taehyung. I love this characterization of him so much because? it’s not like, predictable at all. As in, if you put other characters in this situation -- you might have someone bursting into tears, but he didn’t. And it’s? that’s something amazing. And makes me think about just-- like, how emotional every other fic I’ve read has been which is like!! great too. But it made me pause and think.  

p.s. i love you by notyoongs - yoonkook, the ‘pretend relationship’ trope but-- this is so fucking heartaching and romantic. I can’t recommend this enough, it’s so good 💕❤️

of monsters and me by notyoongs - yoonkook and later, a brief rapline x kook monsterfucker fic. This is a series, it’s all explicit. Basically, there’s a lot of sex. BUT the idea of monster under your bed and relationships between kook and yoongi is so cool? Because realistically, there’s a lot to consider and also just-- the dynamic in the relationship. The power play. Like,, this is a demon we’re talking about. Anyways it’s so cool.

here comes the sun by fruitilys - yoonkook, i don’t even know how to describe it. But its amazing, this is one of my favourite fic of theirs -- and in the bts ao3 site tbh. It’s so good. I love it. 💕❤️

[elyssebeeart]

Requiem’s End

Fandom: Transformers (Universe: Movie/Bay!verse) Rating: G Word count: ~3.3k Warnings: Death mentions Summary: Not long after the events of The Last Knight the Autobots travel to Cuba, a designated sanctuary for their kind. There they hope to reunite with old comrades and surviving members before returning to Cybertron. However, the reunion isn’t entirely sparkwarming. Disclaimer: This is to bridge the last movie and the hinted events of the [cancelled?] next film and make sense of some plotholes/unexplained things throughout the past 3 films (Dark of the Moon, Age of Extinction, The Last Knight) while keeping comic happenings/backstory in mind. Also it includes a couple of OCs who have full backstories the cinematic verse: Fyreant (c) me and Ravebreaker (c) @pumpkinachai​ (On Deviantart, Pending Ao3)

“Shouldn’t we be gettin’ a welcome party or somethin’? We’re war heroes, y’know.” Crosshairs complained loudly in his Cockney accent, looking unimpressed at their apparent new home as he transformed from his alt-mode. The green Autobot paratrooper bit at his dentapick in annoyance, “Sanctuary nothin’, this is punishment. Why we here again? Thought we’d be headin’ for Cybertron lickety-split but it’s been four days!”    

“Qui vivra verra. Be patient, mon amie.” Hot Rod encouraged, transforming next to him. The sleek black robot with orange accents tried his best to interpret his unshakable French accent, “You might like what’s inside, no? Might like it here.”      

“Anyone home?” Drift inquired as he shifted to bipedal mode, the red samurai-esque robot tilting his head. “Perhaps we got the place wrong?” 

“Shh, quiet you lot. I’ve been dying to do this.” Their burly comrade, Hound, hushed as he rolled up and transformed as well. He grabbed a grenade off his belt and chucked it into the open building, calling out, “Fire in the hole!”

There was no sound for a few moments before banging and clattering was heard followed by a string of curses as a blue robot with a blue visor scrambled outside, shouting in a southern accent, “Slag it! Who in the Pit thought it was a funny idea!? Which one of you hooligans did it? I swear-”

“Topspin, there ya are. Almost didn’t recognize ya with that new look of yours, nearly took ya for Leadfoot.” Hound identified the fellow Autobot, leaning back in satisfaction as he crossed his arms. “Getting a bit rusty are we?”

“Hound, you ole dog! You tryin’ to frag me?” Topspin’s demeanor instantly changed to one of fondness as he saw the culprit. “And I got a mod in Lead’s memory, got a problem?”

“No problem. And there ain’t be no trying if I did. Didn’t ya notice the pin wasn’t pulled?”  

“‘Course! I’m not blind, you piece of slag. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t about to frag someone.”

The two mechs proceeded to clasp arms affectionately before giving each other a friendly punch. Topspin let out a laugh, slapping Hound on the back, “Looks like you made it to Cuba in one piece! I’m never sure who’s going to end up on my doorstep; I heard Prime’s broadcast, guess radio silence is over.”

“It’s not like ya to miss out on a fight let alone multiple battles. Didn’t take ya much for a ‘Bot looking for retirement.”

“Yeah neither did I but losin’ my Wrecker crew and gettin’ wounded got me thinkin’. Then my buddy Simmons hooked me up and here I am! Still tryin’ to get him to tan those pasty legs of his; they could blind somebody.”

“Greetings, Topspin.” Drift bowed politely to the uncouth robot. “It is good to see you again. Are you alone?”     

“Hah, hell naw. Wish I was sometimes, hold on. Yo!” Topspin shouted as he turned toward another building nearby, letting out a sharp whistle. “We’ve got company, get on out here. Vámonos!”

“You know, I don’t recall you ever being made the boss.” A young husky voice called in a mocking tone, “Maybe you should get your head examined.”

“He forgets that I’m nearly as old as him and still tries to bully; his CPU must be slipping.” Another voice replied, sounding a bit older and more relaxed. “Ah, well. We just gotta roll with the music.”

“If he has any part of his CPU left. I think he does most of his cognation through his-.”

“Whoa momma! Thank you Cybertron!” Crosshairs exclaimed, looking up where the planet could be seen in the atmosphere as two figures emerged, revealing themselves to be an orange and red femme. He turned to look at Hot Rod with pure relief and excitement, “You’re right. I like it here.”

“Other Autobots?” The red femme looked interested, a smile on her faceplates as she looked over the small group, eyeing them through her dark visor. “Mmm, some fine looking mechs too. Primus is smiling on me today.”

The smaller orange femme was silent as her red gaze swept over the others, looking hardly cheerful, “Oh goodie.”

“Ravebreaker, Fyreant, meet my old comrades. ‘cept for that guy, I have no idea who he is.” Topspin gestured at Hot Rod who shrugged and bobbed his head, confirming it was true.

“Some we already know, rustbrain.” Fyreant drily informed to which Drift politely bowed.

“‘ey, I’ve got you in my sights and… I must say it’s a nice view. Name’s Crosshairs, numero uno.” The green mech introduced himself, grinning at the femmes as he gave a wink. “How’s about I let you two ladies have the ‘onor in being by my side. Best bot in the biz after all.”

Ravebreaker instantly let out a laugh and put a servo over her mouth. Her companion however looked far less amused.

“Excuse me, I need to go perform self mutilation to spare myself from repeating this experience.” Fyreant quipped flatly, equally unimpressed and disgusted. “Meeting you all was a real pleasure, like purging my tanks.”

“Mademoiselle! Wait, s’il vous plaît! Crosshairs, he is imbécile! Gros lourdeau!” Hot Rod protested, attempting to appease while shooting the offender a look. “I’m Hot Rod; I apologize on his behalf.”

“Ooo, I like your accent.” Ravebreaker purred, drawing closer, “Keep talking.”

“Figured Prime would be with you, being you fought together; heard all about it from Simmons.” Topspin scratched his head as he got a better look at the newcomers, ignoring his companions.

“Optimus will be here soon, he had something to take care of first. Didn’t fancy he needed a convoy. Besides, me and the boys were curious about this here place you got set up.” Hound informed, looking not concerned in the slightest.

“Blimey, speak of the devil.” Crosshairs grumbled as he looked back, “Can’t let a star like me shine for long on my own, can he?”

A distinctive looking red and blue semi-truck was heading toward the group. Next to the large vehicle a sporty yellow with black racing stripes car followed, keeping an even pace with the apparent Autobot leader.

“Wait… is that, Bumblebee?” Ravebreaker’s voice was full of disbelief seeing the oncoming Camero. “That has to be him! He made it! Fyre, he made it!”

Fyreant halted her retreat, her optics wide. Her snide tone softened slightly as she turned to see her old comrade, “It’s Bee?”

“Yeah, that’s him. Doesn’t like to leave Optimus’ side much when he can help it. That’s loyalty for ya.” Hound acknowledged, grinning at the approaching duo. “Kid’s got guts, but ya probably know that.”

As the two Autobots drew closer the yellow car sped ahead only to suddenly transform to bipedal mode. The robot did a somersault before landing on his feet, breaking out into a jog toward the others, giving a casual two finger salute as he joined the group.

“Bumblebee reporting for duty. Nice to see familiar faces; not so much the ugly mugs.” He shifted his gaze from his mech comrades to the two femmes, brightening, “Rave, Fyre, you’re here! Been what, five Earth years?”

“Y-you can talk?” Ravebreaker stared at the yellow mech who appeared proud and bashful as he nodded. “Like, talk talk!? That’s all you!?”

“Really? How’d you manage that?” Fyreant exclaimed, gawking as she came closer. In hearing his true voice for the first time her memory cells echoed back various audio clips he’d played previously to converse, leaving her dazed.

“It’s… hard to explain.” Bumblebee let out a small laugh, shrugging. “But yeah, this is me. This is my voice.”

“Oh, sweet-thing I’m so happy! I’m so proud you got it back!” Ravebreaker rushed over and hugged him, giving him an affectionate pat. “What a fine voice it is too to go with a fine bot!”

“Congrats.” Fyreant seemed to relax, but still managed to look semi annoyed, “A bit sorry I couldn’t repay you by fixing it but I’m glad for you; though, it’s going to take some getting used to.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going soft.” He teased, edging closer and giving her a playful nudge. “We still need our little spitfire.”

“In your dreams.” Fyreant elbowed him back, grinning deviously. She lowered her voice, “After dealing with Topspin all this time, him treating me like his personal medic, I’m rearing to get back at him. Wanna help?”

“A chance to troll? Of course!”

“Autobots, it is good to see you here.” An all too familiar deep rolling voice called out, commanding attention. Everyone turned to see their mighty leader Optimus Prime transform, revealing his towering robot self in knight-esque armor with some retrofits. “I expect more will be arriving in time in response to my call.”

“Well, it looks like everyone else is takin’ their sweet time. Whoopdeedoo.” Crosshairs sniffed, folding his arms as he looked around for some source of entertainment. “Waste of time waitin’ around, I could be doin’ somethin’ useful.”

“Patience.” Drift urged his restless companion. “Those who have yet to arrive are late, but perhaps they have much farther to come than us.”

“Including Ratchet! Can’t wait to rub that in his face when he gets here.” Fyreant admitted to Bumblebee, sounding delighted at the prospect. “So much for nagging about being first on scene!”

Instantly the demeanor of Optimus’ group changed, Crosshairs suddenly becoming still, Drift looking away, Hound hanging his head while Hot Rod looked lost. Bumblebee appeared conflicted as Fyreant gazed up at him expectantly, the mischievous twinkle still in her optics.

“He-” Bumblebee began but Optimus placed a servo on his shoulder, causing him to go silent as he glanced up at his leader.

Optimus took a moment before speaking, “It is with a heavy spark that I must inform you that Ratchet is one with the Well of All Sparks.”

The statement hung in the air like a noxious cloud as it became uncomfortably silent. The quiet appeared to invite further unease by allowing the words to echo in audio receivers as the rest of the world seemed muted.

“… No.”

The response was barely audible but it cut through the thick silence like a knife.

“Fyreant-”

“No! Pit! No!” She shouted, her voice clipping as outrage consumed her sorrow, rejecting Bumblebee’s attempt to comfort. She stepped back, her red optics flaring, looking as if she’d been betrayed; her gaze flicked in accusation to the newcomers, “He can’t! He said I was still in training! He needs to finish teaching me! How can I… NO!”

“I’m sorry.” Bumblebee hung his head, his optics closing, “I’m so sorry. We weren’t there. We couldn’t save him.”

“No, no, no! Why!?”

“War hasn’t been kind to any of us, kid.” Hound solemnly acknowledged, turning his gaze to the ground as the memory of Ratchet’s fate haunted him. “Thank Primus you didn’t see… he wouldn’t have wanted it.”

“Who did it? Who killed him?” Fyreant’s optics smoldered with hatred, her voice dripping with venom. She looked at each of the newcomers, probing for an answer as she shook, “Tell me, Primus so help me.”

“Kid-”

“Tell me, slag it!” She screamed, fluid escaping her optics as she cut off Hound. Furiously she wiped them away, trying to will the function to cease but failed. Instantly Ravebreaker was beside her, gently holding her arm out of support not restraint. “What filth took down a medic!?”

“It was Lockdown. He was workin’ together with some humans.” Crosshairs admitted, spitting at the memory. “Chasin’ us down like animals. Gutless, the lot.”

At this information Ravebreaker’s demeanor shifted, her already sad posture tensing. Though she kept a servo on Fyreant, attempting to sooth her friend who shook with fury, a tremor ran through her as well.

“I’ll burn his optics out. I’ll cauterize his nerve circuits and then scorch them repeatedly with acid!” Fyreant swore, her optics pulsing a deeper red, her original Decepticon alignment surfacing. “Then I’ll put his head in a vise and rip it off!”

“Fyre… it was five years ago.” Bumblebee softly informed, the pity plain in his optics and voice.

“I know this is hard news and I’m familiar with your rage as I also felt it deeply. But know Ratchet, my old friend, has been avenged.” Optimus knelt down on one knee to get a better look at the grieving young femme. “I personally slew Lockdown and took care of the human responsible for ordering the attacks and defilement of our kind. While I cannot say how many of our comrades fell to his cruelty he has been stopped, permanently.”

“Slag it, slag it all…” Was all Fyreant could get out as she turned away, relieved yet angry that justice and revenge by her hand had escaped her.

“What about anyone else? Surely there are more survivors.” Topspin inquired, looking upset but knew the sting of casualties too well to be surprised. “Though, y’all are the biggest group to come; usually they’re alone and it’s been gettin’ far between arrivals.”

“I am uncertain of most of our comrades’ fates.” Optimus admitted, solemn, “My hope is that they’re still in disguise here on Earth, safe until they can come to this sanctuary or return to Cybertron.”

“Sideswipe’s gone.” Ravebreaker suddenly spoke up, her casual tone cold and distant, a slight quiver in her voice. “Just over five years ago… Must have been right before Ratchet.”

This time the shock hit Optimus’ group, Bumblebee instantly shaking his head with disbelief while Optimus closed his optics in pain and let out a tired sigh.

“That bot knew how to raise hell… him and Ironhide.” Hound lamented, taking off his helmet in respect. “Primus, they were fine mechs. My condolences, little lady.”

“Rave, I’m so sorry.” Bumblebee looked back and forth between her and Fyreant, helpless as the latter closed herself off and the former, despite the steeled look, screamed raw.

“Humans attacked, I heard it over our commlink. I couldn’t do anything to help, I was too far away.” A tremor ran through her body as she took a shaky breath, “I felt it when his spark was extinguished.”

“You felt-?” Crosshairs began, confused.

“They were sparkbonded.” Bumblebee explained in a quiet voice, “Before we all split up and scattered.”

“Mon Dieu!” Hot Rod could not control his surprise, his large optics wide.

Crosshairs let out a whistle, earning an elbowing from Drift who looked just as surprised. Meanwhile Topspin was quiet, looking awkward as it was old news to him while Fyreant was still trying to control herself, her back turned.

“It grieves me to learn of Sideswipe’s demise, he was a fine comrade and a valued warrior. He chose a fine sparkmate in you, Ravebreaker.” Optimus’ tone was bittersweet though sincerity could be heard. “He will forever remain in our sparks, as well as Ratchet and all our fallen comrades. They will live on in our memories.”

“Yes, he is forever in my spark.” Ravebreaker softly spoke, placing her servo gently on her chest. “And he lives on… through our sparkling.”

At this news the others perked up, glancing at one another to affirm they heard correctly. Bumblebee’s look of sadness turned to shock and then joy, “Really?” to which Ravebreaker nodded, her servo over her spark where the apparent new life was.

“Oi now! She’s taken and goin’ to be havin’ a baby? Just my luck.” Crosshairs complained in a not so low voice to Drift, earning himself a smack across the back of the head from Hound. “Ow! Me head!”

“Zip yer lip before I bust it.”

“Despite these sad times I find joy that life continues. There is hope with this sparkling, promise that life is returning to our race.” Optimus rose to his feet, looking proud as confidence tinged his voice. “This is the mark of a new beginning.”

“Ah, good ‘cause all this melancholy is crampin’ my mojo.” Topspin declared, “This is paradise, y’all. Lighten up, sad times are behind us! We’re moving forward, amigos!” “Yeah, what he said! Ding dong, the witch is dead!” Crosshairs agreed as he sulked, rubbing the back of his head, referring to the manipulative yet deceased Quintessa.

“Not everyone is good at brushing things off.” Drift sagely commented, “Some wish to return to their roots or continue their chosen path.”

“Yeah, well this is my chosen path: I’m keepin’ my aft planted right here. Dunno about the rest of y’all, but I got over Cybertron when I thought for a while it was destroyed by the spacebridge’s implosion eight years ago. I’ve made my peace; I’m retired!”

“Could have fooled me.” Bumblebee muttered, rolling his optics at the Wrecker’s mouthiness as he mocked talked with his servo.

“I respect the decision to remain on Earth but I’ll be going to Cybertron as the Knights of Iacon have already departed for it. There is much to be done and time is short.”

“What are you here for, Prime? Obviously not the beaches.” Topspin pressed, crossing his arms. “Speaking of which, I’m losin’ good beach sun standin’ here.”

“To assemble a new team and assess this sanctuary.” Optimus informed, “I will wait here for one Earth week, giving fellow Autobots time to respond to my broadcast and choose whether to convene here for sanctuary or join me in returning to our home world. Those who choose to return to Cybertron will aid in its restoration. However they are free to come and go as they please.”

“You know, communications is just one of my many talents.” Ravebreaker placed a servo on her hip, coy smile across her faceplates. “I can help boost the signal and encrypt it so it’s harder for enemies to pick up. That should speed things up a bit too in getting the word out.”

“I’ll go.” Fyreant spoke up her voice back to its hard edge. She looked up at the Autobot leader, her red optics no longer flaring dangerously. “There is nothing left for me here on Earth despite it being my creation place. Plus I need resources to complete the frame for Rave’s sparkling… even if Ratchet isn’t here, I need to continue in his stead.”

“I understand. I look forward to having you in my company once more, Fyreant. Your expertise is extremely valuable. Ratchet would be proud of his pupil; you make a fine medic with that fiery passion.” Optimus nodded, acknowledging her resolve.

“And of course I’ll be going with her. Us gals need to stick together.” Ravebreaker announced, leaning down to the shorter femme and giving her a hug, grinning. “Can’t be without my medic, can I? Besides, Cybertron will be dying to hear my tunes once more; they don’t know how much they’ve missed this femme.”

“What about my medic?” Topspin whined, clearly not thrilled at this development, “My volleyball elbow! And my leg that locks up!”

“Go soak it in oil and stop playing slagging volleyball and do something else!” Fyreant snapped, tossing her servos up as she glared at him. “And for the last time: it’s tennis elbow, you wingnut!”

“That’s such a wussy name, and I don’t play no tennis! Simmons is wrong, I tell you.”

“Ugh, a week can’t come soon enough if I don’t die first from any more of this torture! You’re the worst patient!”

Hound let out a laugh he tried to disguise as a cough, turning away to pretend it was coughing fit that he blamed on his cy-gar under his breath. Crosshairs looked amused, grinning as he chewed his dentapick.

“Oh yeah, I’m goin’ to enjoy this.”

“I see why the young one wants to leave.” Drift observed to which Hot Rod nodded in agreement.

“Oui.”

“Autobots, today marks the start of our new mission. We shall gather our comrades and soon return to our home world in preparation for the new threat that lies beneath our feet. We will protect not only Cybertron but Earth as well, despite each’s faults. Together we will rebuild.”

“We’re with you, Optimus.” Bumblebee affirmed, nodding with conviction. “Always.”

“Thank you, my friend. Let us set forward to this dawn of a new age. An age of Cybertron’s rebirth and our people.” The imposing Transformer turned his attention toward the sky where the battered planet orbited, his blue optics serious. “It is time for this requiem’s end.”

[noddytheornithopod]

MML New Episode Commentary Dump

There’s a lot of them soooooo

Lady Krillers:

“You recast all the men as women? You got a greenlight.” Ugh, it’s gonna be one of THOSE episodes.

Melissa is the voice of reason of course

“I had the most horrible dream... they were making a Krillhunter movie without Tobias.” Narrowly dodged a bullet there. And it continues through the episode. Too close, guys.

Tobias is wealthy, your gag just ruined any investment I had in this. :V

“Milo’s friend girl” bleh

Melissa is joining in, so much for voice of reason.

Okay, the alien fight in the background was funny.

“Lindana” we get it, Phineas and Ferb was a thing.

That song montage... it was uncomfortable. I’m cis so I’m an oblivious weirdo, but I do think there’s a couple of things that are kinda transmisogynist in here, with stuff like the shaving and the “lol ‘she’s’ strong ‘she’ put a guy down”. Not to mention it feels so sexist in that he has to be a woman in the most conventionally feminine way possible, bah.

Tobias puts on a shitty “guy as woman” voice, of course he does.

Okay this Cavendish and Dakota subplot is so forgettable I was literally zoning out. MML, what happened?

Tobias Trollhammer is embodying male entitlement, seriously.

The whole “she’s just like a female Tobias” thing is dumb too, it feels like it casts people out to want the exact same thing but women. These reboots are always new takes, or even outright new characters. And like... that’s the issue. Tobias isn’t irrelevant, he still has a fuckton of Krillhunter movies. I’m not interested in some whiny old dude with a million dollars. :V

He’s cast as the villain, ha ha ha.

“We do what we want with no regard to plot or character or making sense to the people watching.” MML, are you lowkey admitting something? ;P

The bison thing at the end is so lame. Seriously.

Okay... Tobias is actually satisfied with being the villain, and Milo is only concerned about the sudden character change. For a rather stupid episode, this is a surprising compromise. I’m not quite sure how to feel about it, TBH? It’s better than what I expected, but I’m not sure I’m satisfied.

Still though, this episode is dumb. The end.

The Goulash Legacy:

Goulash dude is meh.

“Humans and machines had a friendly relationship.” oh, so there IS some robot uprising at some point.

That kid finding the idea ridiculous seems to be the audience surrogate. :V

“Let’s go outside and see what Dr D is up to”. THIS IS TOTALLY NOT PNF GUYS

Doof sung the Moon ice-cream song... we get it, Phineas and Fe- oh wait Doof is here in general.

Norm is back... huh. He seems irrelevant though, just another invention.

Okay, chicken-replace-inator is eh, but Doof being insistent on how it works is kinda funny.

“Did that man just kiss his chicken?” What’s wrong with showing affections to pets, Miss Chase? :V

Zack is going in to get an inator even though they always fuck up... is Jackie supposed to be here again? Seriously, this feels so OOC. No reason for it, and he’s meant to be the most cautious.

Norm seems like he’s just a gag for now. Meh.

Diogee has four feet, why do his forelimbs have human feet now instead of usual dog feet, or even dog hind feet????

Zack is really carrying the idiot ball in this episode. You deserve better, man.

Diogee has hands... okay, that actually made me laugh.

Recurring raccon isn’t dead. SIGH.

So the Goulash robot comes to life. Okay.

“Paprika!” That’s going into outright so bad it’s good territory.

Love Handel. Seriously.

And the fucking robot gets stuck in a time capsule and also comes to life and is the statue at the start. Okay then.

Yet another “meh” episode. I kinda feel like the show is trying too hard to be weird now, TBH? Also seriously, Norm feels like his character is reduced to a punchline again and Zack was an idiot.

Also... I kinda feel like they treat MML on the same level as PnF too much when it REALLY isn’t.

The Dog Who Knew Too Much

Diogee episode, huh.

Lol I wonder why the museum of sharp objects doesn’t attract families

Perry is here at the talent show. Okay then.

Oh great, Doof being a pain at home, just what I want. Also... Sara has a few clothes lying around too even if it’s mostly Doof. :v

The mum thing is now even worse with Brigitte saying Doof is Sara’s brother. Ugh.

“Why does he live here again?” Because the writers said so.

The cops are targeting Murphys. Well then. Poor Martin though.

So Perry and Diogee escape from new random dudes because Diogee ate the USB shaped like a cookie. Okay.

Doof is still mad at Perry, and he just leaves. Okay.

Oh it’s that old lady again. K.

omg the eye balls lol

And Milo returns at the end. Wow.

Another meh episode, you know how it goes. Guess if you want a proper Perry and Diogee team up you might get something out of it. But eh.

Adventure Buddies:

OH HI VANESSA, YOU ACTUALLY STILL EXIST

“You’re spending too much time alone.” Just outright say he’s fucked off for too long and forgotten about you until now. :P

Oh, Vanessa reminding Doof of Perry, hmm?

The breakup drama, it’s glorious.

Vanessa is now gone, RIP. Guess like Norm it was literally just a “hey I still exist” moment. :v

Vanessa casually walks out and says hi to Brigitte. This is so fucking weird. So she’s visited before? Okay then. I mean good that Vanessa and Norm still exist, but it feels weird they’re still really neglected.

Doof is looking for Diogee now, K.

Milo looking dreamily at Zack- oh wait it’s just him having a thing written in someone’s book he’s happy about.

Brick and Savannah on Pistachio Duty is much funnier than the majority of the stuff I’ve just watched.

Doof waving to Vanessa at the start and saying to Milo to tell her he found an adventure buddy is sweet, not gonna lie.

Doof going on an adventure with Scott. Okay then.

Zack suggests a tetanus shot. Vaccination is good, kids! Vaccinate! Don’t listen to those Walking on Water founders or Greg Cipes, vaccinate!

I was starting to be lost on the Adventure Buddies thing but... Doof misses Perry and Scott with Mildred (who are clearly presented as a couple, mind you) doesn’t help things.

And they butt heads over it, with Doof even making his own girlfriend. Ooooh.

Professor Time mention. Fun.

Doof goes back home and he goes back to being all “I’ll go where they accept me” and it’s the Murphys. Granted they’re not into him being covered in sewer water, but this episode was setting up him realising how much he misses Perry, I swear.

This episode I felt was better... but then the ending came and fucked it up. So another to the mediocre pile regardless of Vanessa and Perry moments (which again despite being nice are still “why is there so much PnF?”).

Ride Along Little Doggie:

“Late in the season when the writers are tired.” Bleh.

Milo gets Amanda a drink, heh.

“I’m nominated for most tolerant friend.” “Is that a joke?” “Don’t push me lady.” WELL THEN.

Also... Zack pulling Melissa away when she was getting feisty. Kinda shippy if you ask me. :P

Elliot is fun thankfully.

Okay, I’m kinda tired of the Zippy gag now.

The recurring raccoon appears without the annoying theme song. This is a first. :V

Don’t tell me Diogee is gonna be a fucking cop dog.

Bradley is back with the stupid plant arm for a green thumb gag. Meh.

Yep, Diogee is a cop dog.

Murphy’s Law really stopping the award lol.

Greatest perseverance, what a surprise. Also lol, she kisses Milo and before she caught him. Are they a thing now?

Where the heck did Melissa go? And why wasn’t she staying around with the Murphys, nevermind Zack?

It was okay I guess? Pretty forgettable, but I had less issues than the other episodes. Milo subplot actually wasn’t too bad, it still had quite a bit that was just average but it had a few nice moments.

[mentalanalyzer]

Unadulterated Uncensored Bigotry

Maybe it’s because I’m tired, maybe it’s because I’m pissed at the world around me, but this has been on my mind for quite some time. Does your ethnicity define you? Are they ingrained in your genes? Nature vs. Nurture? While I find many parts of my personality are due to the American environment I have been brought up in, there are aspects of my personality, that I only see in Persians, despite the lack of that upbringing. Aspects that I only see shared amongst those back in Iran. How could have such aspects of my personality if I’ve never been exposed to it? And that brings me to the topic of the day. Profiling. 

This is for me, my ideas, this page is seen by me (I don’t even know why I get followers when I post once in a blue moon). I will not use politically correct terminology, because my terminology comes from a universal language, and that is the fact people are defined by their appearance. Black is black, not african american. Everyone in the world calls African Americans black people. Most consider Asians almond eyed people. This is how people are defined. I will be using generalization and stereotypes, and yes there are exceptions to everything, but generalization exist for a reason. Observations are not inherently racist, unless used as such. I have nothing against races of people, there are aspects of each culture I dislike and like. However, as stated before, people do seem to be potentially defined genetically by their culture. Without further ado. 

We shall start with Persians. Never have I met a group of individuals so arrogant with such a lack of humility. They are smart, crafty, intelligent, even attractive and physically fit. And they know it. And yet, we always fall. Because we are always arrogant, always thinking we’re better than everyone. We have no sense of humility, doing whatever we want with no regards to others and the consequences. Our society always rises because of our innate abilities, but always falls due to the flaws inherent in our personality. Our women, vain. They also have intelligence, and beauty, and they know it. Never have I met a group more vain than Persian women. Always striving to better than other women, insecurity rampant, and always jealous. Persian women have the most potential in all races of women, and yet I despise them the most out of all races of women. Their intelligence is rotted away with their obsession over looks. Their definition of power defined by their man. They are dominant, but become submissive as they are unable to do anything without their man. The women is battling her man, other women, and herself. A war on 3 fronts, is a war you cannot win. And it is for this reason, they always lose. The worst part is, Persians know this. This upsets me the most. They are aware of their arrogance and intelligence, and yet do nothing about. Like an alcoholic who refuses to quit. 

Asians, smart crafty devils, with an absolute lack of compassion for other races and usually severe racism as well. Robots? Not quite. Robots would be indifferent, Asians are not indifferent. Similar to Persians in intelligence and their understanding of it, but without the arrogance. The feeling of superiority, masked by humility, by sub-conscious racism (giving them the benefit of the doubt). They’re quiet, and always make themselves seem less than they are, but are always planning to best their competition. Drive and determination, but with a flawed premise. No love to bring others up with them, but rather leave everyone in the dust. To use the common man for self use, and make sure he doesn’t get to the same level. A comrade has no meaning. The women are the same, but their disdain for others is even worse. The perfect counter-part as they support and go hand in hand with their man. However, often times, they find themselves weak against their man. They are driven and determined, but as soon as they find an Asian man who stands to oppose them, they crumble. As if admitting superiority. See that’s the entire problem here with Asians, the concept of superiority. Persians are always brought down by our stupidity induced by our arrogance, but Asians always see themselves as superior as above. As soon as that image is crushed, they crumble. As if being below anyone is the realization of failure. This is what I mean by a flawed premise. 

Black people. Incredibly emotional, and lazy. Quick to anger, rash, lashes out easily. Uses great effort to build something, only to quickly destroy it. Hardworker...and yet I said lazy? Works hard, but not smart. Not that they can’t, just that they don’t want to. Life is hard, and yet if it’s simple, it’s not too bad. Yet complains that it’s not better, that they want it to be better, and yet doesn’t want to put the effort to make it better. Living in dreams, but never wants to make them a reality. An uphill battle that they can fight, but just that they don’t want to. Let someone else fight it for them, let them reap the rewards. Only fighting when they become emotional, but fighting out of anger, is a short fight. The fuse is only so long, and after it burns, back to mediocrity. Mediocrity isn’t a problem, if they didn’t find it a problem. Like a slouched spine. Works hard to keep you upright, but never quite does the job right. The women are similar to the women. Unsuprisingly, the women actually have more drive than the men. A culture so driven by emotions, it makes sense that the gender with more emotion is more driven. Dominant, aggressive, demanding....yet with all things extreme, easily broken. Unlike Persians with it being a fight against others and their own insecurities, and Asians with it being a fight against superiority and intelligence, with black people, it’s the fight of emotions. Don’t attack a black womens confidence or intelligence, attack her heart. That’s the walls weak point. 

Arabians, all the bravado of Persians, with none of the attributes. Take the arrogance of Persians, and take away the craft and intelligence, and you get Arabians. There is a difference though, see Persians arrogance is against everyone, including fellow Persians. This causes conflict amongst Persians, which is why we are always bringing ourselves down. Arabians create a heirachy, with arrogance designated towards others that are not Arabian. Targeted arrogance you might say. A shared ideology and common belief, is all it takes to becomes uneasy friends with Arabians. You are part of the “cool kids table” now as they say. They have no superior quality outside of numbers and co-operations (which may be a quality in and of itself). One of the most unified cultures out there. This is what makes extremism so likely however. A unification of simple ideals is all that is needed to make one part of the cool kids and having disdain and arrogance towards everyone else. But who defines the cool kids? This is the infighting for Arabians, and makes it so they always form unified groups fighting unified groups; whereas for Persians it’s always a free for all. The women are basically the same. Lack of intelligence, lack of looks, and yet vain and demanding. Inferior in every way to Persian women. I’d feel bad for their conditions, if it wasn’t the fact that they treat the men just as badly as the men treat the women. They’re submissive state is only due to the fear induced by the mens aggression. Against any other physically submissive group, they would dominate. There are other cultures with men physically dominant (like black men), but they only tolerate Arabian men. 

Indians. What is there to say? Racist, sexist, aggressive but weak? Out of all the groups, Indian men are the most sexist and treat women the worst. They make Arabian men look like angels. They have an inferiority complex, that they take out on the weaker groups due to lacking the balls to take someone on their own size. Their cowardness is unmatched in the world. Like the Asians, they too have a heirachy, and they strive to be the top. Unlike Asians though, they have compassion, and guilt. They will screw you over to get to the top, but they will feel bad about it (doesn’t mean they’ll do anything about it). Like Asians, they are quiet, but not out of disdain and contempt, but out of fear. They don’t bring themselves down like Asians (strategic), but rather only see themselves as lower due to the inferiority complex. This doesn’t mean they lack drive however, as they will still compete to be the top of their heirachy. Take the intelligence of Persians, but without the arrogance, and add the heart the Asians are missing, and you get Indians. Indian women on the other hand, are incredibly racist. The potential to be smart, but kept ignorant by their Indian men. Demanding, aggressive, insulting. Whereas Arabian women are physically abusive, Indian women are mentally abusive. They are like a peach, soft on the outside, but hard on the inside. 

Finally....the white man. Individualism as an ethnicity. Congregation by like minds for a greater purpose, but for everyone else below them, they are tools. The white man will not come above others like Asians, but will bring others down below him. The white man doesn’t look to live like the black man, or to congregate like the Arabians, or look to fullfill a superiority complex like the Asians, or to fight off an inferiority complex either. The white man looks to control for the aim of bettering his life. Arrogant, but aware enough of that arrogance to curb it to the point it is still deterimental, but not as severe as Persians. As for the women, they are used as tools just as everyone else for the white man. The women are emotional, ignorant, arrogant, with little drive and purpose outside of be the useful tool of the white man. A blanks slate....literally. Easily influenced and written, by the white man, or other cultures. This makes it so the white women is able to congregate more easily with other cultures; if the other cultures racism allows. 

Now, this may all appear negative, and it may appear I just hate all cultures, but that is just not the case. As is with everything, each culture has it’s positives and negatives. 

Persians have so much potential. Their men are smart, intelligent, and can become experts in any field (as many are). Their women have the most potential out of any group. Looks and brains, can’t beat them. Asians are also smart and intelligent, always raising the bar, always increasing the competition. The women as well. Smart and determined, but humble and quiet. As long as they are empowered, they can achieve just as much if not more than the man can. Everyone can learn from black people. From all the groups, I love being in the company of this group the most. They have....soul.. would be the best way to put it. They are what it means to be human, to express yourself, and to live. Arabians demonstrate the power of Unity and tolerance. With their empire being one of the most peaceful and prosperious for it’s residents. The ability to set the petty aside and focus on the main ideals that unite all of us. Their women demonstrate how despite being oppressed and put down, you can always keep that drive and determination to be better. That no one can stop you. Indians are the nicest people in existence. Bettering their neighbor, and always trying to live with love and compassion. Their women are in fact the reasons this is the case, with mothers who teach the importance of loving oneself and ones neighbors. The white man, the centerpiece of all of this. Having the potential to unify all the groups, and have them cordially work with one another. While Persian woman are born with the most potential, white women are designed with the most potential in mind. The blank slate, combined with beauty and grace, enables them to create their own personality, and to be influenced by other cultures. Allowed to fluorish on their own, the white woman is one of the purest in all the groups. 

[nsfw-oneshots]

Heya! If possible could you do a Poly!Roadrat with outsider non-criminal fem? Make it super hot, sexy yet cute? XD please?

Heya! If possible could you do a Poly!Roadrat with outsider non-criminal fem? Make it super hot, sexy yet cute? XD please?Sure! Enjoy!The streets were quiet as you walked home. The night sky was full of stars and the moon was high above lightning your path. You didn't do the late shift often but you needed the overtime. However since you rarely walked the streets at night you were a little nervous and a lot more conscious that you were alone.You began to walk past an alley way. You could hear whispering and the clinking of metal or perhaps bags of money. Out of curiosity you peeked down it, seeing the silhouettes of two men. One skinny and hunched over, the tips of his hair alight and illuminating his face. The other was very large, tall and wide. You instantly recognised them as the wanted Australian thieves and destruction makers, Junkrat and Roadhog.You stepped forward trying to hear them, as you had always found the Australian accent quite alluring. Roadhog turned and saw you, so he hit Junkrat on the shoulder. Making him shut up and look at you also. You could see he was looking inside a sack, obviously full of things he had just stolen.You snapped your gaze away from them when you could hear sirens. A police car drove down the street stopping at you. The window rolled down and an officers head poked out."Excuse me ma'am have you seen these criminals before?" He pulled out two pictures of the men standing in the alley way and few meters behind you."Ummm" You weren't a criminal. You had never done any wrong in your life. And you wanted to keep it that way. Yet your tongue seemed to be stuck your mouth. Not allowing you to answer. You tilted you head and narrowed your eyes. Pretending that you were looking and thinking. The radio in the car made noise, stating someone had seen them down town."Thanks for your time" The policeman drove off.It wasn't exactly breaking the law if you didn't answer and lie. It was more taking the time to answer, but he had to leave before you could say. So you were still a good person."Oi Sheila" You turned to see Junkrat beckoning you over.Hesitantly you made you way down to the dark back of the alley. Your small height seemingly smaller as you got closer to them."Cheers mate" Junkrat said you stopped beside them. Roadhog gave you a thumbs up. Breathing out a, "Thanks" "For?" "For not rattin' us out""Oh. Well- you're welcome" You smiled at them. They were a lot more attractive in person. The media and police sketches were poor and nothing compared to the real them. Their big body masses not as much daunting but welcoming. You just wanted to be held in Roadhogs strong arms or snuggled into by Junkrat. You blushed and looked at the floor. What were you thinking, they were criminals." 'ere" Junkrat dug into his sack and pulled out a pile of money tied together with an elastic band. He offered it for you to take."I can't take that. It's stolen-" You paused. You didn't want to offend or anger them. "It's far to much. I'm just happy knowing I can help""Well we have to thank ya somehow" Junkrat placed his robotic hand to his face in thought. Then looked you up and down. He smirked and turned to Roadhog who nodded at him. "Well Sheila. There is one was we could thank ya. If yer wanted?" He ran a hand down his chest to his crotch.Your heart stopped, face burning up. It was like something out of a porno. So many things were wrong with this. They were strangers, criminals even. And it was in the middle of public. Yet it was dark and no one was around. Your mind was torn, but your body knew what it wanted. You could feel the heat in your own sex as you got wet from the idea, your heart racing.You looked away then back and smirked along with him."I'm listening"Junkrat stepped forward slowly."How 'bout we make you feel good. Real good. Treat you nice for keeping us out of prison""And how would you do that?"Junkrat was in front of you, Roadhog coming around behind you."Me an' Roady here-" He put his hands on your waist. "We can fill ya up, give you a great time. Make you feel like ya never 'ave before"You could feel one of Roadhogs large handa grasp your butt, massaging it through your trousers. You looked Junkrat in the eyes."I'd like that" He flashed you a toothy grin. Then slid his hand under your shirt, then under your bra. He squeezed and fondled your boobs. His metal hand cold on your skin but in a good way, it cooled you as your body got hotter from what was happening. You could hear Roadhogs loud breath behind you, and feel his hand undo your trousers and slightly pull them down your thighs. He rubbed your sex through the material of your panties, then slid them down too. The cold air of the night hit against your warm sex. The feeling gave you goose bumps and made you gasp. A large finger slid through your folds, collecting up you wet arousal, then moving to your clit, beginning to circle it. Your breath hitched and you bit your lip. You were careful not to make any noise, you didn't want someone to find you.Another large finger began sliding up and dow your wet sex, lubricating itself. Then once wet enough it moved to your entrance and pushed inside. You bit your tongue. Roadhog pumped his finger in and out stretching you around him, preparing you for bigger.Junkrat gave you a passionate kiss, his large tongue filling your mouth, swirling around your own and along your teeth, exploring every inch. You moaned into him, the moan being muffled. His hands massaged your breasts, squeezing them firmly. Then he pulled his hands away and placed them on your shoulders. He began to gently bend you down as though you were bowing. Your ass still sticking up and being pressed against Roadhogs crotch. But now your face was mere inches from Junkrat's. He unzipped his shorts and pulls them down to his thighs, along with his underwear. Revealing his long but thin cock. He put his hand on your cheek, brushing it with his thumb then stepped closer. Using his other hand to guide his. Dick to your mouth. You opened your mouth as he came forward and took in his tip. He whimpered at the feeling. You swiped your tongue against the underneath of him and took more of him in. He slid his dick in and out of your mouth, your saliva covering him, tongue continue to lick him. Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked gently. His dick was hard and warm, and even with going to the back of your throat his dick was still not fully inside. You gagged a couple of times when he thrust in too deep, Junkrat was careful not to do it again but would get carried away, though he stroked your cheek every time it happened. His other hand wrapped around his own cock and began pumping what could not be put into your mouth. You had almost forgotten about Roadhog, until you felt his finger remove from you leaving you feeling empty, a larger member poked at your entrance. His movements with his fingers inside you and on your clit meant you were wet, so wet it began to drip onto the floor. You felt so ready to be filled by his large dick, that you moved your ass to nudge against him, telling him you wanted it."Mmm Hog she's so good! You better get in now before I lose myself!" Junkrat moaned. One hand gripped your hair.Roadhog pushed himself in, starting with just the tip. You gasped around Junkrat which made him groan. Roadhog was bigger than you thought, but he has stretched you out before so it didn't hurt, instead it gave a pleasurable stretch. He slowly pushed himself all the way in until his hips met your ass. Soft grunts came from him as he slid back out again and thrust in. He moved slow but after a while became harder and began to pound into you."Mmm" you moaned around Junkrat."Ahh" He gasped in reply.Roadhogs hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as he fucked you from behind. His large dick slamming into you with ease with how wet you are. Junkrat bit his lip to keep quite, Roadhog however was fine, as he only made low huffs and grunts. Though with how good it felt no one would care nor stop if they were found.Junkrat's movements became faster and more erratic, he forgot about not pushing in to deep. He held your head and thrust into your mouth with speed. You tried to keep your tongue on him and cheeks hollowed but your mouth was growing tired and you were losing focus. The treatment from behind was feeling too good, your mind fogged as you were pounded into. Roadhog still rubbing your clit with one finger, pushing you closer to an orgasm. You moaned more, every one muffled. Your hands that were on Junkrat's hips began to tighten, and so did the knot deep in your stomach.Both men grew faster and harder."Oh crickey, you're so beautiful!" Junkrat exclaimed, brushing your cheek again as he looked down at you. "And feel so good."Roadhog nodded and huffed in agreement."Ooh. Oh my! AHH, you're just..... Just... Tooo......ahhhhhh"Warmth filled your mouth, a salty taste on your tongue as Junkrat came. His sticky cum was stuck as he didn't pull out, so all you could do was swallow. After you did he pulled out allowing you to breath and release a loud moan, now the his dick wasn't there to muffle them. He kept his hands around your head, one brushing your cheek, the other playing through your soft hair, which he intertwined through his fingers. "Please! Yes, harder!" Roadhog obeyed and thrust harder, his dick reaching deep inside. With the deep hard thrusts against the pleasure spot inside and his finger working your clit, you came, overwhelmed by the pleasure. The knot inside finally being released. "Ooh yessss!! Yes!" You cried, your eyes shutting tightly. You squeezed tightly around his dick with each wave of the orgasm, as he continued to thrust in deep. But after a few more hard slams and the tight squeezes, Roadhog could take no more. He pulled out, rubbing himself against your ass a few times before coming over your back and shirt."Hooly dooly! That was a wonderful sigh'. But mate you could have at least pulled the shirt up."Roadhog huffed as he looked at his cum, now staining into your shirt.Your legs trembled, if it weren't for Roadhog holding you, you may have fallen down. You were panting and sweating, your mind beginning to clear.You then felt the shaking ground beneath you vanish as you were lifted up. Roadhog held you bridal style in his big strong arms. His warmth soothed and you could hear hia heart beat. It was fast after just having sex. You looked at the two men through glazed eyes. Junkrat was smiling."Great ideas mate, we'll take her home""What?" you asked groggily. "Well we gotta clean ya up. And after that, no way we're letting you go, we 'ave to do tha' again"You couldn't complain as you were just too tired. Not that you wanted to, you would love to do that again. Instead you hummed and rested against Roadhogs warm chest. Letting him follow Junkrat and carry you back to their place. Most likely for more good times.XHope it was sexy and cute enough for you sweetie!