#but minimizing it so that i can RAMBLE in the TAGS my FAVORITE HOBBY

[feelbokkie]

so this is truly insane

and i mean that in the nicest way possible. holy shit thank you???

when i started feelbokkie nearly 2 years ago, i never thought that i'd be sitting here with so many mutuals and 4,000 of you reading and interacting with my silly little writings. i'm so genuinely thankful for each and every one of you for indulging in my hobby and allowing me to continue my passion.

thank you all for sticking with me amidst the chaos of this year and my writing. i know my writing can be chaotic with my heavy angst and my convoluted crack, but thank you for staying on the roller coaster. for those of you who have followed me from the beginning, thank you. ily. for those of you who just started following me recently, ily and i apologize in advance for future writing.

thank you to my mutuals (who, if you know the lore, i will not be tagging. but you know who you are) for constantly supporting me. i know i've gotten worse with messaging over the past year but i am grateful for you being in my life and for your support.

thank you to my muses, skz for inspiring me to get back into writing in the first place and inviting some of my favorite people in my life and for pulling my out of several ruts. i also hope that none of those idiots have a secret account and know about me so this thank you is metaphorical.

i work with minimal proofreading and 0 beta readers and i really do post for shits and giggles so i'm honestly shocked that there are this many of you who now follow me and like my writing. i'll work better and harder in the future to create more content for you all to enjoy.

i don't know what else to say other than thank you and now i'm rambling so i guess i'll just stop here.

ily

[yeowninefive]

My 2023 Art Retrospective (Part 2)

This is the second part of an already long reflection of my art progress from this year. Click this link to read the first part.

Art output/reception: Not much else to say that was different from 2022, honestly. It's pretty straightforward sequel escalation--I managed to again beat my old records by a pretty significant amount--over eighty unique drawings, which increases to over ninety when including alternate versions...and the count goes even higher (over one-hundreds) when taking another factor into consideration (I'll address it later). I'd also again say that I do get the sentiment of my art being less obscure as it was in the past--I'd say there were a significant boost of interest (in views and/or interactions such as favorites/likes, reblogs/reposts, etc.) with my art in 2023 compared to 2022--with my 2023 art on dA actually showing nearly quadruple the number of favorites and number of views that my art in 2022 received (at least, based on my personal metrics of art with favorites/views above a certain threshold).

This giant amplification of art production is admittedly based on a few real-life scenarios. Overall I can definitely say that certain other hobbies that I like to do (watching films/shows and playing videogames/making Smash Bros. montages) took a major backseat; and that's actually something I'd like to address going into 2024. The question there of course is if I'm at a point where I could keep up my art production without--which is again where my time management comes in. I hope I can make better strides in figuring it out--there have been more than a few times where I've stayed up late working on art that I reasonably could had pushed off for later and went to bed, and spending lots of time on art that I could had spent doing something else. I am of the thought that if push really does come to shove, I'm okay with putting out less art for 2024 if it means I can get back to doing other things.

Another thing I'm thinking about/looking into using more is sticking more towards a fixed/predicting publishing schedule, so I can "stack up/queue" completed artwork and put more time towards other things. Posting art on multiple avenues is also time-consuming (esp. since I like to add tags and descriptions when appropriate), so I'm also thinking about learning how to utilize APIs, if possible, so I can quickly and/or simultaneously post new art to multiple platforms. Speaking of which.

Art platforms: I talked about trying to change strategy with my art platforms with the first-run/second-run approach, I even talking about having tumblr serving as more of a second-run account. Obviously, that didn't really pan out--that much is clear with this site still being the host for my retrospective art rambles, warts and all. I guess I'm just too embedded with this platform to really shift it towards second gear. Maybe I can take steps there by relying more with scheduled art releases.

I talked about expanding my platforms once Twitter started self-immolating under Elon's then-new control, and dA also showing its hand by jumping headfirst into the AI train. (And it goes without saying that tumblr itself, with the contentious choices and decisions taken this year, isn't off the hook with making dumb decisions--though they eventually overextended themselves/shot themselves in the foot and re-adjusted their focus. Which is...some sort of acknowledgement of mistakes, I guess?) I ended up wading into the waters of three new platforms (technically two, one was actually a 2nd take)...and my experience I'd say as a pretty mixed bag, probably leaning more towards negative.

Instagram was the one that I eventually decided to take another stab with, and I'm afraid I didn't get much, if any, value out of it at all. Even when re-entering that platform with my (to-date) most popular works as the focus, I ultimately felt the lack of interest rendered it of minimal value, even as a "second-run" art account; ultimately just having it go dormant. (By the same coin, it doesn't leave me really invested in setting up shop over at Threads--though I feel for anyone looking to swear off Musk-Twitter/X, I would definitely recommend people there as a baseline.) Cohost by the same coin is also pretty empty, but that at least has the argument of being a much smaller platform that is also aiming for a different approach to social media. Nonetheless, I feel like that's a platform I could probably pump the brakes on a bit in terms of use; with few people the wiser. Bluesky to me actually comes out the best out of the new ventures I've tried--namely because it has the most expats from Twitter that I'm familiar with, who I've been able to follow and share their art, and vice-versa. Even with it still lacking features, its growing audience (esp. with it now going public) feels like the ideal "new" platform to keep tabs on.

Between what's now currently five platforms I'm regularly active on (maybe four if I do move cohost towards more of a passive/background role), I don't see myself making any further expansions for 2024. Pillowfort I considered, but hadn't signed up the broad lack of activity, which eventually seemed to come back to haunt the site when they were at risk of shutting down due to lack of profits. They did manage a successful crowdfund, so hopefully that marks a turning point for their fortunes. Newgrounds is also probably the only other platform besides Bluesky that a lot of artists/creatives I follow have set-up shop; though I feel that if I do join Newgrounds, it will be as a replacement for an existing platform I'm already on, and not just another extension (e.g. if Twitter finally collapsed/was shut down/was widely abandoned).

Alternate art label/art blog: So when in art output I talked about an additional factor pushing my art over the triple digits this year? This was the additional factor. Sometime during the summer, I decided to open a new art blog under a new label where I can post art I normally wouldn't post under this label. (Art that to date, isn't explicit --not like I would be able to post such art here anyway-- but is suggestive/mature enough to not be worksafe.) Truth be told, there have are a couple of works on this blog/label that pushed the envelope a bit into that area anyway, and my main blog has historically had such material crop up on an regular--to--irregular basis regardless. In other words, this is a bit of an expected/natural extension.

My current policy is that this blog and my main blog don't really directly draw attention to it outside of a few instances like this one, or even really acknowledge it by name. The most I will say (for anyone curious/looking for it) is that art from that blog occasionally turns up in my main blog, and it (to date) has only featured some of my OCs (and at least one from another creator).

A Decade of Drawing: If you've been following my Twitter account, you may be aware of a long thread I wrote impromptu in response to another creator, with me discussing why I'm not as "big" as a creator that I probably/possible could have been or should had been, which I feel serves as a more self-critical review of my art trajectory over the past ten years. (Long story shortened into bullet points--subject matter, drawing process/frequency, "timing" of when I started drawing, the platforms I posted my art on in question, and commissions/requests. Some of this stuff I've already touched on in this retrospective already.)

However, I would also like to turn things towards more of a positive note by pointing out what I've done then compared to now. I'm still sheepish about stuff like doing art commissions; but I'm still able to occasionally crank out gift art like I do like nobody's business--and I mainly do those purely just for the fun of it. By that coin, although I'm still a (self-prescribed) obscure artist, I know there does exist small group of people on the 'net somewhere (other artists, just online friends, and others) that are honest fans of the stuff I make and continue following my works and ideas, and I don't ever want to lose sight of that.

I feel that I've also really broadened my art direction in trying to replicate multiple art directions and different subjects. I still have yet to really try and reattempt my oldest stuff (environmental artwork/landscapes), but I've also freely bounced around between original character design, fanart, animation, comics, and videogame concepts. Although I've drawn OCs and comics before, I don't really think I've ever really taken seriously writing down ideas for stories/characters and polish/develop them until I started drawing on a regular basis. (This seems a bit premature to boast as an accomplishment, but I really do mean it--it's honestly up to myself to prove it and really start translating the backlog of my concepts.)

I'll finally end things here by putting it into the perspective of this real-life factoid. A lot can change in ten years for the better, and I'd say it's not just my art that has done so. I started this little online art career shortly after I had just graduated from high school, and was getting prepared to start attending college. My first drawing tablet was itself a graduation gift. That was ten years (and an additional extra six-seven months) ago.

At some point in the first month of the new year, my degree (which after an entire decade of trials, tribulations, and setbacks, I was able to finally complete in December) is supposed to arrive in the mail. I'll probably post a little doodle to commemorate the occasion. In a lot of ways, I view 2013 as the end of an age and the dawn of the next; and I feel confident is saying with the end of 2023 and going into 2024, the feelings and sentiments are very much familiar.

....

I think I have finally covered everything that was on my mind. Again, here's an honest thank you to anyone who has stuck around to read the whole thing (so far), and have a Happy New Year's Eve/New Year's Day and a wonderful 2024.

[masterlazywriter]

Obey Me! OC and fanfic

Ok so, I am writting a ongoing series on the Obey Me universe with my MC/ OC Tsuki. You can find my fanfic here

Now some rambling about Tsuki. Tagging @divedrive​ since I saw some similarities between our OCs xD spoilers: is suuuuper long so i added a read more.

Starting info: Full name is Tsukishima Kanae, goes by Tsuki always, 24 years old, born in June 8th. Descend of Japanese’s (grandparents). Speaks two languages, Portuguese and English, and was learning Japanese on their spare time when summoned to the Devildom. Has a biology degree.

Appearance: has about 164cm, original hair is brown but they prefer to dye it to blond; also add colorful highlights from time to time. Brown eyes and has myopia, prefers to uses contacts (I actually wrote a full one shot about it), but the demon brothers likes seeing them in glasses, so they start using glasses sometimes too. Likes comfortable clothes, spikes and majority dresses on black, purple and white clothing. Has a very punk vibe. Loves hoodies and jackets and has several rock band shirts.  

Personality: Tsuki is an anxious messy. Them have a lot of trauma thanks to their neglectful parents and bully on middle and high school. Thanks to their traumas they don’t trust others and always expect the worst/second intentions. They are so used to push others away they even do it with their friends because sometimes the anxiety just speaks louder. They are EXTREMELLY intelligent and cunning, to the point the demon brother starts calling them a demon, since they so easily can outsmart the demons, see through their lies/plans and think of better solutions to their problems. With time, they learn how to manipulate the demon brothers to do what they want or act in a way that doesn’t bothers them too much. Also, the demons start to frequently ask their input on pranks/schemes because they know how intelligent Tsuki is. Is safe to say Tsuki manages to have the seven avatars of sin wrapped around their fingers with only a few months of being in the Devildom.

They are super reluctant of helping the demons at first, and acted rude to spite them in purpose, but they also are very emphatic, so they end up helping anyway. If they see someone getting bullied, they become very angry and want to help (since they can easily see themselves in the place of others. Non emphatic people tend to anger Tsuki as well.). Tsuki absolutely can’t handle unfairness and is constantly nagging the demon brothers to treat each other’s better.

They HATE being pitied or feeling like others looks down on them, so they put on a strong façade and pretends nothing scares them or bothers them so people won’t think they are weak. Once they started fighting (is a taekwondo red belt) they got a bit over their social anxiety. And after they learn how to proper fight/defend themselves, they got the right amount of confidence to say what they think without fearing for their life. But it is also a double edge sword because now they speak out of their mind constantly, with minimal fear of consequences and end up coming off as very rude.

Because they are always on the edge (thanks to their generalized anxiety), they have minimal patience for any inconveniences and tend to get angry quickly once their little patience runs out.  

They don’t look like it, but in true, Tsuki has a very low self-esteem, constantly doubting his worth. It didn’t help they are also VERY unluck, so they are constantly getting into trouble/having problems, so they end up thinking they cause problems to other peoples and shouldn’t get involved with anyone because them will eventually bother this person and they will hate Tsuki for it.

More about: they are aroace and non-binary, uses them/they pronouns exclusively but wouldn’t mind an occasional he/him from people they do not know. Also love dressing as androgynous as possible just to see people struggling to tell if them are a girl or a boy.

Under their punk and reckless outside, they love cute stuff and small animals. Their favorite animals are frogs, so they tend to own (and be gifted) several frog themed items. They absolute love music, is a big comfort for them, would be a massive music nerd if they didn’t went to biology college and turned out to be a massive biology nerd. They like to annoy the hell out of the demon brothers with their endless animal facts knowledge. Since they are an introvert, Levi ends up being their favorite brother to spend time within since his hobbies are things them are used to enjoy as well (watch anime and play games). They are a great cook and cooking is one of the few things they are very confident and proud about.

I probably am forgetting a few facts;;, but it turned out to be so long, so I’ll stop here and recommend you to read my fanfic if you got interested on Tsuki XD If you read until here I salute you and ILY!!! As bonus, have my favorite picrew of Tsuki since I cannot draw ;D