#but maybe somebody has anyways if u did thanks and dont worry abt me
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sometimes i look at the ~relationships~ part of my natal chart and god its just all . just so damn difficult and harsh and it makes me want to abandon any hopes for anything good ever
#jess things#but also ig it all comes from past experiences too lol#and ik my chart isnt supposed to be like… an indicator abt how things will go but rather a roadmap#but its like . it rly puts into perspective why everything is so damn hard all the time when it comes to interpersonal relationships#and maybe im supposed to interpret it as this challenge that i should rise above of#at the same time tho i feel so hopeless. and tired.#ppl exhaust me and i dont know what more effort am i supposed to give#however the absence of the type of intimacy i crave is also smth that makes me feel like crap#i can either sit in the pain of the absence or continue taking risks which ruin me emotionally and eventually physically#augh i dont know. i dont know what i want to do anymore.#i just want to be good i guess . i want to be good without feeling like i have to give my entire carcass away#i want to just sit here and do nothing and still consider myself good#i want to feel good abt someone approaching and not asking anything of me#i want to feel good even when im not of use to someone#i want to be good even when ive been bad. when ive made bad choices and mistakes#i just wish to be good to someone even then#anyways im gojng on a tangent idk i rly hope nobody read this#but maybe somebody has anyways if u did thanks and dont worry abt me#u are good to worry and u are good if u not worry u are good for saying smth and u are good for not saying anything#u are good
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