#but maybe if I write us politics in a tag here it’ll still be filterable
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Americans, we are going to weather this and we are going to still wake up every day and do good. You are not powerless, although I know on today of all days, it feels like it. American democracy is not dismantled yet, even though it feels like that’s a foregone conclusion. Here’s the thing, though: giving into defeat, deciding that everything is so bad that you’re going to avoid doing anything, or posting on the internet about how doomed we all are is just going to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Take your time to grieve. You do not have to act today. This fight is for the long haul. But then come back, and we’ll do this again. Our systems are not set in stone: Trump has shone a light on that, but he has also shown the weakness of that. The reigns of power have been grabbed, so we must redefine what it means to have power in our country. If you look at history, we have done this over and over and over again. I’ve learned over the past two and a half years from my dear friends in Ukraine that it is critical to find your sources of joy in these times. You MUST find something that brings light to your life. You must continue living. It is a defiant thing, to capture joy in a time of darkness. Don’t forget the power this has.
Spend time with people you love. Take a moment to indulge in something that makes you happy. Get involved in a movement. Start organizing. The system is broken beyond repair, so how do we take the ruins of that and build something new from it? Everything is wrong, but we have built better from catastrophe before. You can still protect the vulnerable. You can still stand up and fight.
I’m so proud of everyone who fought so hard to stave this off. That’s not over just because of this one election.
We cannot give up. That’s all there is to it.
#sorry all I’m not tagging this because I don’t want it to break containment#but maybe if I write us politics in a tag here it’ll still be filterable
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Jaemin Soulmate!AU
Jaemin has a reputation as a “cool” kind of guy, which is why he wears bracelets to hide the words permanently etched on his left wrist
“Wait- if it’s not butter, then what is it?”
Jisung and Haechan are notorious for giving him shit for having a ‘weird’ soulmate, but Jaemin thinks it’s kind of funny, honestly
Like great question dude but,,, why are you asking me this
Jaemin’s apartment is around the corner from a little family-owned grocery store that he’s frequented since his high school days.
He’s very much a regular, to the point of the owner being like “Jaemin…. Please just work here. You already know where everything is”
To which Jaemin has to respectfully decline, because he wants to focus on his dancing and singing, and working too much would get in the way of practicing.
That, however, does not stop the old man from sending customers with questions to Jaemin whenever he comes in.
Because Jaemin is too polite to be like “uhh I don’t work here, good luck”, he always ends up helping them
But secretly, he doesn’t mind. He thinks that maybe one day, his soulmate will be the next one to ask him a question.
Even after repeated questions about “how much does this cost?”, “when do you guys open tomorrow?”, “when will the next shipment of bok choy be in?”, he still isn’t terribly bothered.
The other employees chastise the boss for sending customers to Jaemin, but the old man is always like “he knows this store better than you all do. That’s why he gets a discount higher than yours”
Employee discount: 15 percent off all merchandise
Na Jaemin discount: 20 percent off all merchandise
It’s an unspoken rule amongst employees that Na Jaemin gets a discount, but they are NEVER to mention it to him! He knows that business has been rough recently and wouldn’t accept the generosity, but the boss thinks Jaemin is too skinny and wants him to be able to afford to eat well.
Now lovely reader, this is where you come in. You recently got a job at this grocery store but you work in the back, so you have never seen the famous “Na Jaemin” that all your fellow employees chat about so frequently.
Coworker #1: “Ugh, he’s like SO dreamy”
Coworker #2: “I know right? He’ll have no trouble becoming an idol at this rate”
Meanwhile you’re like “lol what who? Also where is the printer for printing clearance labels”
You specifically applied for the back of house position because you did not want to talk to people.
It’s not that you’re antisocial by any means- honestly it’s the opposite. It’s just that you have the tendency to say whatever you’re thinking with absolutely no filter.
So in the past when more…. challenging… customers have talked down to you, you gave back the same energy without thinking.
Management was not happy,,, so you were like “mmmm maybe I should just keep to myself and everyone would be happier”
One day though, it seems that you’re shit out of luck.
Your work bestie calls you at 3 in the morning on your day off saying that her kid has a fever and she’s gotta stay home and take care of him.
You have no plans other than generally being a lazy lump at home, and she’s always had your back at work, so you’re like “girl don’t worry about it, I got your shift. I’ll make some chicken noodle soup for him too”
To which she’s like “bitch if I hadn’t found my soulmate already I would’ve snatched you up T-T”
You giggle and tell her to try and get some rest- both her and her kid.
And then sleep another blissful 4 hours before rolling in for the 8am shift.
When you get there, boss man is like “ayeee so you’re covering for her shift which is stocking shelves, are you gonna be okay doing that?”
You: “Ahaha yeah it’ll be fine~ just please don’t send customers to me oh my gosh”
Boss Man: “Don’t worry, I just saw Jaemin walk in. I’ll send them to him”
You: “... who is Jaemin”
Boss Man: “He’s my FAVORITE!! Remember that!”
You: “Oh, okay!! Yes sir!”
You’re like fifteen minutes into your shift and you’re already on edge because all you’ve done so far is dodge all the old ladies who are shopping this early.
No actual products have been put on the shelves yet, or at least not by your hands.
Settling down in the dairy section, you relax a bit and start putting cold products in the cold shelves fixed to the wall.
And of course- things are in the wrong place. Why would anyone put anything back where it belongs?
Picking up a product, you glance at the label out of sheer boredom more than anything.
“Wait- if it’s not butter, then what is it?”, you say to yourself.
Or so you think.
“Yeah, that is like the one question I don’t know how to answer”, you hear a masculine voice say from behind.
You spin around and look up into the man’s face.
And oh boy is that a nice looking face.
“Oh I’m sorry, I- WAIT”, you start, before you realize what he said.
Grabbing his left wrist, you push up the bracelets to reveal what you’d just said. Then you drop his hand out of sudden shyness, and because it’s not cool just to grab people.
“Do… do you mind if I look at your wrist as well?”, he asks quietly.
You roll up your sleeve and present him with your arm. He delicately wraps his fingers around your wrist and flips it over to read the words written”
He drops your wrist and sinks into a squat, flopping his arms over his head and looking at the ground.
“Oh my gosh why did I say something so lame…”
“Umm,,, to be fair,,, I did ask you about butter so by comparison yours isn’t that bad,,,,”, you try to comfort him, and he lifts his head up to meet your gaze.
“You mean that? It wasn’t like the lamest thing you’ve ever heard?”
“Oh I’ve heard much lamer things, don’t worry!”, you say with a cheery smile that contrasts your words entirely.
He stands up again and clasps your hands in his. With a look of determination he looks straight into your soul and asks:
“What time do you get off work?”
You tell him, but let him know that you’ll be busy after work making chicken noodle soup for your coworker and her son.
He’s like “oh you can cook?” and you’re like “lol no but I’m gonna die trying”
He writes his phone number on your arm (next to your soulmate tattoo) and is like “text me when you’re done with work and I’ll swing by and walk you home and maybe I can help you cook”
And quickly clarifies “ONLY IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE WITH ME IN YOUR HOME, I UNDERSTAND IF BECAUSE WE JUST MET YOU-”
You’re like “dude,,,, it’s fine, we are literally destined to be together. Also if you try anything I’ll just beat you up so it’s chill”
Looking at his watch, he sprints makes a beeline for the checkout counter, going on about he’s gonna be so later and Haechan’s never gonna let it go if he’s late twice in a row, and something else but by that point he’s so far away from the dairy aisle you can only hear muffled sounds where words should be.
The next several hours could not go by ANY SLOWER.
Starting off today, you figured the day would go by quickly because you’d be preoccupied figuring out how to do something new, but now all you can think about is pretty soulmate boy.
And how he never mentioned his name, but to be fair, it was a rather quick exchange.
What feels like centuries later, your shift is coming to a close so you grab the ingredients you the internet tells you you need for the soup and head to your favorite cashier.
Somehow the front of the store is both quiet and abnormally loud for this time of night.
“Jaemin’s been waiting there for fifteen minutes? Do you think he’s waiting for someone?”
“Maybe he needs to talk to the boss? Usually he’d just ask one of us to grab him but he’s just standing outside”
“Ugh it’s so cold, should we tell him to come inside?”
You glance over to the crowd of coworkers towards the entrance and break out into a smile.
“Just keep ringing me up, I’ll be right back!”, you tell the cashier and fast walk past the small crowd.
Peeping your head out the door, you greet him.
“Are you cold? Come inside, I’m almost done”
“Oh okay, should I wait by the door though?”
“No, come with me. I wanna show you off~”, you instruct and he raises an eyebrow, but plays along.
Holding open the door for him, he scuffles his way in and shyly offers his hand.
Gladly, and with a pounding heart, you lock your fingers between his.
“Your hands are freezing, dude”
“Shhh it’s fine. I was trying to be cool, okay”, he jokes with you as you walk back to the register
Ringing up your items, the cashier is looking at you and him with raised eyebrows, and you’re just like “shut up jessica I’ll explain tomorrow”
The two of you walk back to your apartment and spend the rest of the night cooking and talking about everything and nothing.
The more you learn about Jaemin, the more confident you are that the universe got this one right.
Even when most things feel unclear, you know this person is someone you can always rely on.
(also when you bring your sick work bestie the soup, Jaemin insists on tagging along and she’s like “omg Y/N that’s JAEMIN” and you’re like “I KNOW” and he’s like “hi here’s some soup, also why do you know my name”
#me?? posting actual content?? more likely than you'd think#nct#nct dream#nct u#na jaemin#jaemin#nct jaemin#nct scenarios#nct scenario#nct soulmate au#kpop soulmate au#nct imagines#nct imagine#jaemin scenarios#jaemin imagines#jaemin scenario#jaemin imagine#jaemin x reader#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#nct na jaemin#nct writing#NCT Dream Scenarios#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenario
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In Hell I Will: Part 2
What the heck I met the guy I’ve been dying to find out more about within under an hour? Not even intentionally! This is crazy and I’m a bit unprepared because I’m taken aback by his appearance. He looks so professional and serious in a suit... not a ginger head wearing green. Plus I was not prepared for this like how do I act around him? I start feeling nervous.
“Um, sorry,” I put it down gently, “Can I just look around for five more minutes?” I smile hopefully.
“That’s fine, take your time,” he tells me and I keep looking trying to find hints or things that belong to Hook having trouble not focusing on Peter Pan in the same room as me, “I haven’t seen you around here before are you new?” he asks.
“That’s a bad pickup line that won’t work on me, but since you asked, I’m temporarily new I guess. I am not dead though, I’m on a trip to find Captain Hook, who you obviously know because of your story. My family is gonna save him,” I share.
He chuckles.
I stop searching and turn to him, “What’s funny?”
“One, I wasn’t flirting, I was simply asking a question, and the really funny part is that you say your going to save him like it’s easy,” he explains.
I start feeling a bit attacked and the confidence in my voice starts to quiver, “Well obviously it won’t be quick and simple, but it’s not like it’ll take a week or anything,”
He catches me off guard and suddenly goes from across the room to two feet away, “Well maybe I can help you with being more prepared,”
I jump,” Ah! How did you do that? You were all the way over there less than a second ago!”
“It’s magic, which I’m pretty sure you know of because of your families story,” he answers using my words.
“One, you don’t need to make me eat my words, two they were right, you aren’t like the movies and stories I grew up with, and three, you don’t scare me which apparently you’re trying to do I think,” I tell him.
He chuckles again, “I don’t get it why do you keep making fun of me?!” I exclaim.
“No reason, you’re just funny. And just so you know, I am as bad as they tell you,” he tells me in a low, serious tone.
I roll my eyes and go to the backroom to get away and he follows me.
“I can help, we can make a deal, just say the word,” he tells me.
I look in his eyes and see the thirst for getting what he wants, which is off-putting but attractive at the same time, “I was told that making deals is a bad idea, so I appreciate the offer but no,” I say politely.
“Alright then, it was nice meeting you...?” he waits for my name.
“Y/n, and thanks. And you don’t have to go, I’m finished here. But I’m not going to lie I don’t know whether to say the same about you because your kind of annoying, I hate to be blunt but it’s true,” I admit with no filter.
He chuckles once again but I ignore it and go. So much for meeting the person I was so defensive about just to be wrong. But if I didn’t like him why did his voice and eyes, and everything else make me drawn to stay and talk to him?
Henry is waiting for me outside. “What took you so long? You were in that shop forever!” he asks.
“Sorry, the things down here are just more interesting than normal Storybrooke, haven’t seen some before ya know,” I tell him low-key referring to Peter Pan.
“Hey follow me, there’s someone I want to find and I want you to meet him,” he walks towards the bed and breakfast and I walk with him.
“How are you dealing with all of this? I know it’s your first real adventure,” he asks me standing kind of close.
“I haven’t been here very long but it’s all so interesting and different, I like being in on something like this!” I tell him.
“You can stick with me if you’d like, I have some experience when things go south,” he says.
“I’d like that,” I smile. I can tell he’s kind of liked me romantically for a while and I wasn’t so sure about it but lately with being around him more and him trying to make me feel better and help me out just shows how sweet he is.
We arrive at the bed and breakfast and he goes behind the counter and grabs a old dirty bronze key with a tag attached but I’m not at the angle to read it clearly. I follow him up a stairwell and he opens the door to room eight.
“Dad?” he asks as he steps inside. He looks around, “Dad are you in here?” I walk in a little watching him.
He looks all around the room and I put a hand on his shoulder softly from behind, “Henry, I don’t think your father is in here,” I say gently.
“Yeah I think you’re right, we should go back down to the diner,” he says and I follow him.
We get down and some of the normal gang are already there regrouping.
As usual Mr. Gold left and went his own way because he never believes in teamwork to get things accomplished. The rest of us stayed and tried to workout a plan.
An hour passes by and Gold is back holding a small, white, dainty, glass bottle. He explains that if we pour it on Hook’s grave than we will be able to see and communicate with Hook. We do just that and apparently he’s in some really crappy shape because Regina and Robin Hood, who’s also her boyfriend block him from me and Henry’s view. It turns out to be a bust which is really unfortunate because I really want to find him and save him.
We go to Mary Margaret’s and David’s apartment to regroup later on. We all split up and me, Henry, and Robin go to Regina’s office to get maps that are a replica of the hell Storybooke. There is a protection spell on it so me and Henry crawl through the air vent.
“It’s so dusty in here,” I cough.
“Don’t worry it isn’t much of a distance just keep following me,” he tells me.
We continue to crawl until we finally bust in. I get up and see a older woman dressed in black and white with her hair half black and white in color. It isn’t a “I’m an old person” type of white but intentional as if she dyed it like that, “Henry who is that?” I whisper.
“Don’t worry,” he tells me avoiding the question.
She starts talking to him about this pen that I’m confused on and goes on about writing the fairytales in the book and bringing her back to life and Henry finally confronts her, “Cruella, why would I do that?”
She explains and when I hear how Emma killed her I blurt out, “Oh shit,” shocked that Emma would do something so awful.
“And who is this here? Your little girlfriend?” she asks walking up to me slowly and I hear her heels slowly click.
“Leave her out of this,” he tells her stepping in front of me but she lingers.
I stare at her kind of afraid as she looks me up and down slowly, “pretty face, but I can tell you don’t have a clue what your doing,” she ridicules.
“And why’s that?” I ask a bit angry stepping in front of Henry .
“Y/n, don’t let her get to you,” Henry tells me being protective but I roll my eyes.
“Why don’t I know what I’m doing?” I ask her ignoring Henry.
“Where do I begin? Your with him, using him as protection, you’ve just been standing here and not trying to talk or intervene with me, and you just... look... weak,” she criticizes telling me I look weak in a slow way
My jaw drops and I clench my fists shocked by her bluntness, “y/n don’t let her get to you,” Henry whispers.
I huff, “Fine,” I unclench my fists.
We exit not finding any maps.
We all meet Mary Margaret and she says Hercules can help us and like half my family go to find and get him to defeat some 3 headed thing that’s guarding where Hook is but leave me and Henry behind which is annoying.
I kinda want to spend the spare time seeing Pan but remember how he was annoying and I need a reason to visit so me and Henry just go back to the apartment being useless.
The following day Gold says he knows how to get Hook back and my mom and him go off to save him. A few hours after they return with Hook and even later his brother arrives and joins us all. We all talk about Hades and try figuring out his story. Everyone but me and Henry go off in search of answers.
“Hey I need to go see someone I’ll be back,” Henry tells me, “It’s about the quill that Cruella was talking about,”
I get up to follow him and he stops me, “Y/n, this is kind of awkward because I know I said you can stay with me, but this is something I have to do alone,”
“So your just gonna leave me alone? It’s not like anyone will let me in on what’s going on with their plan,” I tell him feeling left out.
“I’m sorry,” I can tell he doesn’t want to leave me but he leaves anyway and I watch him get in this black and white hurst from inside.
The car speeds off and I just sit where I am being useless.
I think about how Pan said he could help contemplating going there.
After a lot of talking myself out of it I decide to do it anyway because what else can I do?
I walk on in and look around the shop and the backroom but don’t see him anywhere, “Pan!” I shout.
“Hello y/n,” he appears directly behind my shoulder after I shout that, “What do I owe this visit?” he asks.
I take a deep breath and turn to him and he’s awfully close to me, “You said you could help with Hades, and I want to make a deal for it,” I say.
“I said I could help with Hook, not Hades. Sorry love,”
“But! I was going to make a deal!” I complain.
He smirks, “A deal can be made still, what else can I do for you?”
I think for a second, “Well everyone is trying to figure out what Hades story is or where we could find it. Can you help me there?” I ask.
“I can give you information, but it might be too late,” he tells me.
“Any lead would be helpful right now,” I tell him.
“I will tell you where you could find his story and let’s just say you’ll owe me a favor at some point,” he tells me.
“It depends, is it a bloody favor, that ends with people getting hurt, because I really don’t want to darken my heart anymore,” I tell him.
“Your heart is dark? You seem so innocent so sweet,” he avoids the answer.
“Whatever, avoid the question, I’ll do it,” I gulp and take a deep breath, “It’s a deal,”
He smirks, “I’m glad. There is a mansion that has the popular storybook, you know the one, it is hidden inside it. Find that, you find his story,”
“Can I have details on the mansion? Like where is it?” I ask.
“Ask your brother, he knows,” he tells me.
“Thank you,” I say sincerely.
I head out of the backroom but something in me makes me pause where I am once I walk past the register. It isn’t magic, it’s just me staying still.
“Something tells me you came in here for more than just to be resourceful,” he tells me following me.
“Okay, yes, maybe a part of me did come to see you, but I have my reasons,” I say still not heading towards the exit.
“And what are those reasons?” he asks leaning in some.
I can feel him have a hold on me as I stare in his green eyes but have to remember Henry is good and who I’m starting to like, unlike him who I know nothing about and could be a bad idea if I get involved.
“I’m leaving before I do something I regret,” I walk towards the exit.
“And what is it that you’ll regret?” He asks appearing in front of me standing very close again and I skip a breath staring in his eyes. I turn my head again to ignore him reminding myself it is a bad idea and keep going.
“If you need me again you know where to find me,” I can feel his smugness which has a certain charm to it as I walk out.
I walk back into the apartment where everyone else already is, “Y/n, where have you been?”
“Just a walk, no one needed me so I thought why not?” I lie.
“You could have told us you had nothing to do, we could have had you do research on Hades while we were gone,” Regina tells me a bit annoyed.
“I think I know how to figure out what Hades story is though! Apparently there’s this mansion that has the storybook inside. I figured if we find that we will see what his story is,” I explain.
“The sorcerers mansion,” Henry says.
#peter pan#david nolan#neverland#regina mills#emma swan#ouat#prince charming#snow white#evil queen#lost boys#captain hook#henry mills#mary margaret blanchard#peter pan ouat#ouat s5#lost girl#love#once upon a time imagine#once upon a time#robin hood#cruella de vil#imagine#mr gold#rumplestiltskin#hate#killian jones#fanfic#ouat imagine#peterpan ouat#ouat s3
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The World Isn’t Over Yet
A Steve Rogers x Reader Fluff Fic
Summary: Somehow you were never in love at the same time.
Prompt: Time Travel AU
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: Some IW angst/fighting at the beginning, but that’s it! This is fully a love story.
Word Count: 6k
A/N: Thanks to Umbrella Academy (particularly Five) for inspiration for your abilities for this one. Bear with me as we jump around in some different times of Steve’s and your life in this part (it’ll get linear in the coming parts, I promise, just stick with me here). There’ll be a couple parts so let me know if you want to be tagged. This is for @sgtbucketbarnes 1k Writing Celebration! Hope you enjoy darling!
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He should have kissed you.
Specifially, he should have kissed you that moment on the helicarrier all those years ago. He should have held you to him; in the protective grip of his arms, he should have never let you go. Your body pinned to his, your lips sealed against his, tasting the salt of the ocean on your skin and the warmth within.
He would have threaded his hand in your hair, fingers brushing across the curve of your cheek. He would have snaked his arm around you and drawn his hand under your shirt and up your back. He would have felt the goosebumps erupt over your skin and heard your contented sigh as he trailed his hand lightly up your spine.
He should have kissed you like that right from the start. Or he should have done it the next day. Or week. Or year. Or anything.
But kneeling in the gritty, hot dirt of a Wakanda, with towering trees and beating sun filtering through them, he was still. Silent. Unable to reconcile what had happened.
Because Thanos had won.
Because you were gone.
Because he had failed.
It was too much, too impossible to fathom or believe, that you were just gone from his life. In some real way, you had always been a part of his life. Even when Steve had nothing, he had you. You had always been there for him.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this...
When he met you- not for the first time, though it was the first time you met him- he soon saw you were already halfway out the door. You doubted the team from the beginning, unable to see how- just as everyone did- this band of misfits could get along. Then something switched in you, and though Steve never asked what exactly, on the battlefield of those New York city streets something shifted.
During that first mission, when the team wasn’t yet a team and almost broke apart at its seams, you had stayed. You had toughed out fight after fight and battle after battle for years.
And he had loved you for years.
The better part of a century, actually.
He remembered waking up in the 21st century, on a small cot while the breeze gently swirled the yellow curtains, the radio playing an old baseball game. Immediately he had looked around to find you.
When the reality of waking up decades in the future hit him, it was a shock to be sure. Because if he was here, that meant you were gone. Probably six feet under, having lived your life without him. He could’ve handled anything, just not losing you. He honestly didn’t know how he got through that time in a foreign century without you.
Then, standing on the helicarrier, the members of Fury’s “Avengers” project came to assemble to fight a man (or something like one) called Loki. And somehow, someway, you were here, standing on the tarmac with jet fighters and S.H.I.E.L.D operatives prepping for this mission. You were apart of this. Inexplicably and miraculously apart of his life again.
And it was another shock to his system again, but a different kind. Maybe more like the shocking of seeing your spouse walking down the aisle on your wedding day, or holding your baby for the first time. Not the icy grip of pain, but a warmth spread through him at seeing you. The fearful memories of being trapped in the cold hard Arctic ice was quickly barely a blip in his mind.
When you shook his hand, Steve could barely string two words together. His head wasn’t filled with the sight around him or Natasha’s introduction; his mind was filled with you.
You were hot New York nights. Rainy Brooklyn alleyways. You were sweet candy floss and Coney Island roller coasters. You were a warm gaze and shining eyes. A gripping, teary hug after the war on a dirt road. A first kiss. Lasting love.
You were something he hadn’t felt since the forties.
You were home.
Unlike what Steve remembered, now you were windswept hair and the salty, shimmering spray of the ocean as the engines roared to life. There was something so young to how you looked though, something hard and closed off like he had never seen before.
But it was still you, and everything in his heart and soul screamed that out. The sound of the turning, rumbling engines drown out those shouts and the beats of his heart.
He was sure the electric snaps of a love he thought lost, could be heard coming to life again. He was coming to life again. The days of solitude and trying to reenter a life that held nothing of his past, nothing he could grasp onto or broach, melted under the touch of your hand.
You’re back.
When you shook his hand, you merely smiled at him.
“Pleasure to meet you, Steve,” you had said easily. It had been so simple and so confusing.
You released his grip and turned to Bruce beside him, the same polite gesture and reserved look in your eyes.
You... didn’t know him? Didn’t remember him?
… How could you not remember him?
During those years up until Wakanda, he had answered that question.
Because you hadn’t met him yet.
So he knew there must be hope in getting you back, right? That didn’t mean there was a guarantee that he would come back from it… But somehow that didn’t seem to matter as much. Nothing matter as much as you did to him.
Whatever it takes, Y/N. However long it takes, I'm bringing you home.
_______
This scene was all too familiar.
The crumbling buildings, cars on fire, sirens in the distance, and aliens streaming out of a portal above Stark Tower. The pain from the Wakandian battlefield was still white hot in his heart and soul, the chaos of this fight he knew his Avengers would win barely registering as he slunk through another crumbling alleyway to where he knew you would be.
He waited in those shadows, counting the painful seconds until you would appear. He couldn’t wait long and felt the pain of both losing you from Wakanda and the bitter joy of getting to see this earlier, younger version of you now.
Scott’s plan to go back in time using quantum energy had worked. Now it was up to the team to change the timeline of the universe itself, altering or corrupting or destroying the Infinity Stones before they could destroy the universe.
But not until he saw his universe. Not until he saw you.
Running on weary feet with a tight clench to your jaw, Steve caught you moving through the street, looking as battered as the buildings that surrounded you.
But goddamn it, you were still perfect and the sight of you stopped time itself.
Pulled to his spot with the weight and intensity of his stare, your eyes connected with his, immediately with equal parts bitter ice and longing heat flooding him. But those eyes of yours? He was swimming in them, pulled under by those younger, deep eyes he had fallen in love with across the century.
Those eyes he thought were so beautiful, the same thought as when he first saw you, long before he was Captain America. The quiet genius and knowing behind them. The fire behind them. The compassion and caring and strength.
They caught sight of him and swallowing down the rush of everything impossible he was feeling, Steve signaled over with a nod. Confused, you pulled a face and wearily sprinted over the rubble to him, ducking briefly as a Chitauri whizzed by overhead.
You could have zapped the distance, teleporting the short way to his spot, but the battle was well underway and you didn’t yet have the strength you one day would. Not the kind of endurance and power you would grow into as the years passed.
He so vividly remembered you like this. Your joking and lively spirit, your distrust in your abilities and in others, but your love for both all the same.
“Where did you come from?” breathlessly you asked, stepping up to Steve and into the shadows with him, hands on your hips. “And I thought I was the teleporter of the group.”
Steve was just as breathless as you were, but for a completely different reason.
You were here. You were alive and well, with dirt and sweat on your face and that fire in your eyes. That fire he missed and longed for night after night since you were taken from him.
“Yeah, Y/N,” he said, voice ever so slightly strangled as though in pain. He watched you flit down to see if he was injured. “We’ll go there in a minute, I just needed to… to tell you something first. Something you need to remember, alright?”
He couldn’t help his hand reaching out for you, tucking your loose and wild hair behind your ears, his fingertips brushing across your cheeks. It was just enough contact for that electricity to spark somewhere deep inside him all over again.
He swore you could probably see it in his eyes as that electricity turned to something more intense and more determined as the memories of losing you in Wakanda flashed in his mind.
“I’m going to make this better,” Steve said, the deep timbre of his voice allowing for no waiver or doubt. “I’m going to fix this.”
His hands gripped your shoulders, pulling you closer before quickly enveloping you in his embrace. He felt you tense and brace yourself under him, but he didn’t let you go. He should never have let you go.
“No matter what,” he continued, determination lighting up his blue eyes as stood face to face with you and pressed himself closer. “I’m going to be here for you, Y/N. Always.”
You swallowed, a tight smile on your lips and blush on your cheeks, trying to play off the sudden and confounding closeness. You didn’t know Steve; not like this, not like you would.
“Well… I- I’m not one for staying in one place, Steve,” you joked shakily, feeling the beat of each others heart as chest to chest you were pressed together.
When he bent down, you froze, his lips just brushing against yours as he spoke. He could feel the shaking breath from you, the tightness of your muscles under him. He wanted you to melt under his touch, to melt into him over and over again.
“I’ll be here for you, Y/N,” he whispered into you. “Always.”
When he breached the distance, time stopped again. His lips sealed to yours and his grip only became tighter around you. He kissed you like it was the first time. Like it was the last time. Like he would never come back from what he was about to do.
The touch of your lips parting under the demand of his own burned him, searing his mouth and tongue and body and mind. Pressing deep in your back his hand trailed up your spine, clutching on to you as though someone would rip you away from him at any moment. It was wet and desperate and deep and in that moment Steve Rogers drown in you.
You could have pulled away. Could have said stop. Could have teleported to the other side of the city or him a hundred feet in the air for that matter.
But instead, you held onto him like an anchor in the storm.
He had taken is time through these years, but he wasn’t waiting anymore; he had waited too long already.
And when he pulled apart he saw what he had wanted to see all this time, what he had dreamed about seeing again since he was a scrawny teen in Brooklyn. That look in your eyes. The same loving one as was in his own, consumed and sparkling and beautiful.
Steve only barely registered someone approach from behind him, knowing his time with you that had just started was already running out.
“Cap, we gotta go,” Scott said quietly behind Steve. He had taken too long already, time slipping through his fingers.
Kissing your cheek, Steve lingered an extra moment, needing to feel the heat and life in you again.
“I will see you soon, darling,” he whispered. It was hard and it was a promise and he would die to uphold it if that’s what it meant to get you back safely. He couldn’t imagine living in a world where you weren’t apart of it, where you had turned to dust at the snap of a finger. He wouldn’t and couldn’t allow that.
He watched as your brows pulled together, those beautiful eyes shimmering with a feeling you couldn’t understand as he stepped back into the shadows.
I’m bringing you home, Y/N. Whatever it takes.
_______
You had been resolved to kick some alien ass, then get both the hell out of dodge and the hell out of this dysfunction Fury called a team.
That was top of your list, though your bucket list had always been a short one.
Getting your ass handed to you by an Asgardian god in Germany? Almost crashing into the sea because the Hulk was loose on a deathtrap they called a helicarrier some thirty thousand feet in the air? Being on the front line in stopping an alien invasion in downtown Manhattan?
Yeah, sufficient to say none of those had been on your to-do list. Yet within the span of two days, you had managed to cross them all off.
The rather electric and painful looking end of some high-power spear was thrust towards your stomach, just narrowly missing you as you threw yourself back. Hands clutching at the weapon you gripped on to it, forcing it up and back into the head of the chittering, rasping alien. You spun, retching it from its hand before spinning it around your body and using that momentum to thwack its head, that painful looking end pointed right into face gap of its helmet. You groped for the weapon discharge button and found it. With a bright purple blast, the thing went down hard, you collapsing on your knees in exhaustion.
That was the last of the horde that was on your flaming and crumbling street, but hardly the last of the invaders. Tony whizzed by in a flash of red and gold, with the thundering, ground-breaking thrum of what you could only describe as some armour-clad whale floating in the damn sky chasing him.
Heaving in the dusty air, your lungs burned with the stench of burnt flesh, rusted metal, and the pinching pain of exhaustion that stabbed at your sides and lungs. This fight had yet to run its course, but you were near spent already.
Getting up from your knees you stayed bent over, hands on your thighs as you internally cursed yourself and your damn stupid decision that led you here of all places.
How the hell had you ended up here? You?
The person that had barely spent a week in one place since you were fifteen years old? The same one that spent the better part of the last many years successfully evading S.H.I.E.L.D. and this damn Avengers Initiative?
Because at the end of the day, you weren’t a hero. Despite what Fury believed and despite the accounts of people you’ve saved or disasters you’ve averted… Well, you still didn’t think you belonged here.
This team wasn’t a team and you didn’t have a reason to stay around once this was over. You never had a reason to stay anywhere really, because you never stayed long enough to find one.
You put one foot in front of the other, gritty noise of your footfalls drown out by the all-out war surrounding you. Slowly picking up speed, you were basically speed-walking but that was all you could muster. Muscles weary, body cut open and spent, you couldn’t risk using what was left of your abilities unless you were really desperate.
You had only really just begun to explore your powers and test your limits beyond zapping in behind bad guys and ruining their day. You were getting better at it you, learning to build endurance and distance too. At least you thought so.
But after teleporting maybe 30 times today already (which definitely was an all-time record), you weren’t sure how much juice you had left.
It was like stepping into nothingness for just a second, but that nothingness took a little bit more of your battery power each time. When you instantaneously moved from where you were to where you wanted to go, it was like you were a little more depleted.
You barely noticed the first few times, but oh boy you were feeling it now. Your feet felt like lead, your mind was fuzzy, and your heart was hammering dangerously hard in your chest and threatening to give out.
Turning a corner you looked up the bright sun and blue sky, marred (understandably) by the blood-thirsty army flying in like those monkeys from The Wizard of Oz. You opened your mouth to signal to the team via your commlink, but someone beat you to it.
“Y/N,” came Steve voice in your ear, weary and determined. “The bank on 47th past Madison; Barton says they’ve cornered a lot of civilians inside. Meet me there in three.”
“On it,” you huffed, turning east towards the sounds of exploding cars and crumbling buildings, biting your lip to keep from groaning as you fought your instincts to teleport closer. If you were going to be of use, you had to save the energy you had left.
Besides, Steve couldn’t teleport and you did have those three minutes.
But dumbfounded, you briefly wondered if he could teleport like you did.
The blonde and built man was standing in the shadow of an alleyway, the intensity of his gaze drawing yours right to him as you were running by.
“Where did you come from?” you asked breathlessly as your curiosity and confusion led you right up to him, shaded in the shadow of the building. “And I thought I was the teleporter of the group.”
You threw the joke at him, light and easy, as you didn’t particularly know the man besides what they said in the museums and from the last couple days with him. So not too much.
“Yeah, Y/N,” he said, voice strained enough to make you think he was injured somehow, though from the looks of it seemed no worse for wear. “We’ll go there in a minute, I just needed to… to tell you something first. Something you need to remember, alright?”
Your eyes grew wide and you blinked rapidly as Steve tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The light, barely felt warmth of his fingertips caressed across your cheek, and you fought the swell of heat flood your chest and threaten to creep up onto your face.
“I’m going to make this better,” Steve said cryptically to you. “I’m going to fix this.”
You opened your mouth to comment something to the effect that you would too. Exhausted and pushed to your limit, you wouldn’t go until this mismatched group of so-called heroes won the day together, even if you were planning on hightailing it right after (though he didn’t have to know that).
Stunning you where you stood, Steve’s hands gripped your shoulders, pulling you closer before enveloping you in his embrace and holding you fast, pressed tightly against his chest. For a moment you couldn’t speak, not sure what shocked you the most: him pulling you into an intimate embrace or the caring, longing look in his eyes as looked down to you, just a breath away from you.
“No matter what,” he continued, a mix of conviction and fervor. “I’m going to be here for you, Y/N. Always.”
You swallowed, a tight smile on your lips and blush on your cheeks, trying to play off the sudden and confusing closeness.
What in hell was all this?
“Well, I’m not one for staying in one place, Steve,” you said shakily, feeling the beat of your hearts as chest to chest you were pressed together. His nose was practically to yours, his lips almost teasing your own with how close they were.
You never had closeness. Never knew someone long enough to build it up, actually.
But when you first met Steve, you had felt it. It was an intimacy that you weren’t sure was real, as you could barely define the word itself, much less understand how it felt.
As Natasha introduced you two on that helicarrier his eyes had positively lit up with nostalgia, with knowing, and a caring and a friendliness no-one had ever looked at you with.
You hadn’t wanted to let go of his hand- even if it was merely just a formal handshake- and he didn’t either, his grip lingering until in masked confusion you pulled away. You had felt him staring at you in (the rare) quiet moments since, a heat blooming across your skin every time he did.
But now you felt it tenfold, the burning desire of a someone unwilling to let you go. Someone looking at you as though they really saw you, right down to your core. It made the deepest part of you shake, trembling under the weight of something so inexplicable and overwhelming and wonderful.
And as he leaned down, closing the slim distance between you, that weight and heat shattered inside of you as his lips brushed yours.
“I’ll be here for you, Y/N,” he whispered against the softness of your lips. “Always.”
When he breached the distance, time and sound and reality stopped.
His lips sealed to yours, stealing your breath and your thoughts and your desire to be anywhere but with him, always.
That weight that had been there was now gone, replaced with the feeling of floating, of longing, of remembering something you still didn’t yet know. It was confusing and impossible and you melted- body and soul- into him for that brief and endless moment.
Somehow he knew you. Knew your lips, knew exactly how to kiss you. Knew the pressure that made your knees wobble and head spin. Knew how to move his tongue against yours as it penetrated your mouth. Knew how to stop time and steal your very breath away. Knew how to draw you out and pull you apart piece by piece.
Arms around you, he bound to you to him and anchored you in a way you didn’t think you wanted or needed. You were made to be a thing without bounds, without limits or chains, without anything or anyone holding you down. Appearing in one spot then disappearing without a trace.
But this was so different; he was so different.
He didn’t feel like a vice or a prison.
He felt like home.
When he pulled apart he didn’t move away from you, didn’t release you from him. Steve looked down, his nose to yours and watched you with the heat of what you couldn’t believe was love in his eyes. Yet there it was all the same?
A million questions came to the back of your mind, swirling and hammering away for attention and for answers. But for a moment, you ignored every one. You simply breathed the same air he was, felt his warmth encircling you, watched those beautiful blue eyes look absolutely enraptured by you.
All too soon, a man you didn’t know- maybe a S.H.I.E.L.D operative? Though he really didn’t look the part- interrupted, and the intimate bubble you had created with Steve began to burst.
“Cap, we gotta go,” the man said quietly behind Steve. He gave you a tight smile and a small nod, and you weren’t exactly sure what it meant. You weren’t sure what any of this meant.
Steve seemed to hate breaking away from you, with anguish flashing in his eyes and soft and deep press of his lips into your cheek. He lingered, holding you still, while he set his jaw and those pained eyes turned intense again. They shone with resolution and loss and longing. For what or whom you didn’t have the words to ask, mind fuzzy with that life-changing kiss and this life-changing invasion.
“I will see you soon, darling,” he whispered.
You knew what it was. A promise.
That confusion broke through to the surface, clouding your eyes and pulling your brows together as he reluctantly broke away from you, replacing the warmth of his body with the sudden coolness of the air.
You would see him soon… You were fighting this battle together, weren’t you? You still had to go to the bank to help those civilians, right?
He watched you as he walked backwards down the alley in the wrong direction from where he should be going, your eyes shimmering with a feeling you couldn’t understand.
Why did that seem like a goodbye?
And more importantly, why did you- someone who said goodbye to everything and everyone like it was the very air you breathed- hate it so bitterly?
Those questions carried you to 47th and Madison, Steve emerging from the bank and covered in more dirt and grit than you thought possible in a couple minutes. People were fleeing across the street for shelter, their lives saved (along with countless others today) by the one and only Captain America. The one who had just kissed you and stirred something you in you didn’t think was possible.
… But how had he beat you here and got these people out?
“You got here fast,” you said, unable to keep a bit of a grin off of your face, despite the circumstance. “I was kinda delayed for I guess an obvious reason. But clearly, that didn’t stop you.”
Steve seemed oblivious to it, panting as he walked passed you, eyes on the sky as Thor and Bruce hammered and punched through that whale-thingy, with Clint on the corner of a building overlooking everything and shooting everything non-human.
“The city’s crawling with them, I almost didn’t make it in time to save those people either,” he said, missing the point of your comment completely. His eyes scanned the destruction and chaos as it attacked on all fronts. You watched his back as he stood out a ways in front of you, his attitude and stance all mission minded now. “We’ll need you up top now; can you get there?”
“... Uh, okay?” you responded a little quieter and confused, yet again.
“Just…” Steve looked down a moment before turning around to you. “Be careful.”
And there, you saw it again. Just that hint of longing in those light blue eyes and that edge of something… maybe regret? But it was so different somehow from just minutes before. He was so different.
Something struck you then, like for some reason you thought this Steve in front of you looked somehow younger.
But the longing in his eyes- though drastic in their degrees- was there. A sadness and distance there also. Not pained like it had been. Not so weary and heartbroken.
Or maybe you had just imagined it.
Imagined those feelings you thought you saw when he kissed you. Maybe you had only wanted to see them. Perhaps Steve, in a moment of terror or panic during this insane and incomprehensible battle, just needed a moment of human comfort. Maybe it hadn’t really meant what you thought it had. What you had felt.
The flash of pain of that was bitter and real. But you surprised yourself in that it didn’t change your mind, and couldn’t change that shift in you he had been the catalyst for.
“I’m here for you, Steve,” you said, walking up beside him, eyes dead ahead.
You paused, looking down between you, wondering if you reach out and took his hand, if that same warmth would be there. You took in a deep breath, weariness and confusion and fear of belonging somewhere pushed aside.
Because you didn’t get any of this, but for a moment with Steve you had had a sense of home. Of belonging.
And you were willing to stick around for as long as it took if it meant feeling that again.
“Always,” you said, repeating his words.
In a flash of light and rush of air, you zapped away and back into the fray.
_______
One moment had been a bright and warm day in Africa. The heat of sun on your face and shoulders and yet another alien army fighting for control. They wanted to destroy everything and everyone you loved and fought for and stood beside all these years.
You zapped in front of Thor, throwing your bruised arms around him with a beaming smile on your face. In shock he took a step back, dropped the two beings you barely registered and holding onto you as you jumped into his arms. His own grin burst on his face the moment he felt your familiar embrace.
“God, I missed you!” you exclaimed as he set you back on the ground.
“As I missed you, Y/N,” he responded, pride and joy on his weary face.
“But you are late, you know,” you smirked, eyes looking behind the Asgardian. “You’ve got some catching up to do, so let’s not waste time, hmm?”
In a whoosh of air you were gone, appearing several meters in the air some distance away from Thor and the two others he brought with him.
You happened- as planned- to appear above one rabid dog of an alien who had pinned Bucky to the ground. The soldier was fighting for his life, knife in hand as he tried to get the upper hand.
You came crashing down on top of the thing, two knives twisted into its back before you pulled them out and slashed deep into its neck. The creature screamed out before convulsing and flailing, Bucky having just enough time to roll out of the way before it collapsed.
Before it hit the ground you had zapped off of it, standing beside Bucky as you grabbed his flesh arm and helped him to his feet.
“This is too much like old times, I think,” Bucky said, taking a moment to catch his breath.
In a moment you were gone, then just as fast you were back next to him with his machine gun in your hand, taken from a spot some twenty feet away where it had landed after a particularly hard tackle to the ground. Absently you passed him the weapon and rolled your eyes.
“Oh, yeah,” you said sarcastically, wiping your forehead on your sleeve with a grin, the other hand holding on to him. “All those times we fought aliens together, right.”
“Aliens, Nazis…” He brought the gun up quickly and looked through the scope, shooting off a few ear-ringing rounds as one blood-soaked alien thundered towards you. It went down like a ton of bricks with a couple shots to the head. Bucky lowered the weapon and shrugged smally. “Look the same to me.”
You were about to pull a face and ask when in the hell you and Bucky had fought Nazis together. But something past his shoulders caught your eyes, and in another flash you were gone.
In the blink of an eye your back was against Steve’s, weapons in hand. The man didn’t so much as flinch, as after years fighting together then on the run together you knew each other’s moves as well as anything.
“Hoping you’d show up,” he called out, fist punching into the creature trying to tear him apart. Your first response was a grunt as you drove your knives into the one coming at you, trying to stop the clawing talons from piercing you.
“Always do,” you said back, pausing as the alien finally went down. “You’re a magnet for trouble, Rogers. I don’t think I should stray too far from you.”
“Don’t think I want you too,” he half-shouted back above the roar of the alien below him.
Your stomach suddenly turned as tens of others charged right for you, fangs dripping and the scent of death rolling off of them.
You had been a thing to behold today, bouncing around from spot to spot and saving the team time and time again as the hordes of these monster kept coming. They relied on you, leaned on you, trusted you to be there to save them while they were saving others. But for the hundredth time today, you were back with Steve, always finding your way to him whatever chaos was thrown at you.
This one wouldn’t be easy though.
You braced yourself, hard line of your set jaw as tight as your grip on your weapons.
Because you weren’t leaving Steve. Not now in the face of rabid death, not ever.
_______
The whiplash that coursed through you was enough to almost crack bone. You felt your spine fuse then release, kneecaps bulge before snapping back, and joints scream and pop through your entire body. For an overwhelming agonizing moment, it was like your insides were trying to get out of your body, pushing out and trying to burst from your skin.
A high pitched whine was as much as you could voice, the sudden pouring rain that pelleted your skin causing you to shake as your rattling mind tried to throw together some kind of explanation.
Blinding headlights assaulted your eyes as a blaring horn pushed you from your spot on the road careening towards the rough brick of a building. Clipping the corner you fell into an alleyway, landing in mud and debris, with limbs practically unresponsive.
Splayed out on the ground you turned your head up, eye squinting in the dim street lights of this rainy, dingy city.
… A road? You teleported yourself right onto a damn road?
You hadn’t done that since you were thirteen, landing in the middle of a highway and scaring the bejesus out of you and the driver, managing to teleport away before you were turned into roadkill.
Struggling to get up, a wave of dizziness struck you, your already skinned palms trying to hold onto the side of the building you had crashed against. Your fingers spread out against the brick, a moan in your throat as you battled a wave of dizziness, nausea, and a complete sense of being lost.
Wait… battle?
A memory, only just having happened moments ago struck you: Thanos, in the flesh, with his middle finger and thumb pressed together before a snap.
You looked around, ignoring the crushing dizziness and lingering pain of the battle in Wakanda having happened just second ago, and your trip to this place.
Where even were you?
You remembered screaming Steve’s name… then you were just here.
Your intuition and practice over the course of years told you something about this. That the nanosecond of travel felt different somehow. Terribly different. It was less like stepping through a void and more like the exact opposite, full of sound and colour and movement beyond what you could comprehend.
Here it was so dim and dark, the night sky overtaken by storm cloud beating water merciless on you. As it was night here, you knew wherever you were it was probably on the other side of the world.
A string of venomous curses erupted in your mind at that realization. God, you had to get back to Wakanda now! You had to get to you friends and to your Steve before Thanos destroyed the entire planet.
The clattering of thin, tinny metal rang out from the alleyway across from yours and woke you somewhat from your hazy, fury-filled spiral. Through the pouring rain you could have sworn in the darkness you saw a flash of blonde.
Without looking at the road you raced across the street, a yellow Cadillac taxi swerving to avoid collision with you and the driver swearing as he sped by.
“Steve!” you yelled hoarsely, the shout coming out more like a whisper.
Anything else faded on your tongue as you entered the alleyway and saw the person in front of you.
He was shorter than you, with blood on his face and his fists up, fighting a rather larger boy whose back was to you. And maybe he was ninety pounds soaking wet but it was still him. You remembered that small boy, seeing him in a museum and pictures and Bucky’s descriptions of him.
For a moment you stilled as the boy caught your eye, a deeper and more profoundly sickening realization hitting you.
You hadn’t just teleported to a different city, had you?
No, you had traveled back in time.
And ever promising to be your anchor, you had traveled right back to Steve, just not the one you knew.
_______
A/N: Listen. Was this a masterpiece? NAH. Are there lots of mistakes in here? Fucking oodles I’m sure. Will I fix this up at some point because you deserve better? Yes, because you do. I started this yesterday and finished it literally just before posting, so congrats for getting this far. Next parts will be better and more linear. Someone just hug me alright? Alright cool thanks.
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Those Eyes
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam
Word Count: 2151
Warnings: Angst, implied smut, one night stands, single parenthood, Dean is a liar, the end is pretty heartbreaking, fair warning
Summary: You meet a guy at your job waitressing and you decide to take a chance, it doesn’t go well.
A/N: So, I don’t want to give away the ending in the tags, but just saying, if I need to add something more specific in the warnings just send me a message and I will. Anyway, this was for @mamaredd123 Shreds Some Hearts Challenge in honor of Angst Appreciation Day. I really hope I made it angsty enough. It was inspired by the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, who I feel pretty much ruled at angst honestly. I am not tagging people in this just in case the topic is triggering.
“Hey sweetheart, I’ll take a slice of that ‘famous’ apple pie and a cup of coffee,” the man was strong-jawed, his earthy green eyes shining, which combined to make him look like some sort of male model. Not the type of guy you typically saw in a small town like yours.
“You’ve got it,” you said as you hurried off to get his order, but you spun back around at the sound of a high pitched whistle coming from the table, looking back at the handsome patron, you saw him gesture for you to come back.
As you stopped at the edge of his table, you noticed how he raised an eyebrow at your expectant expression, waiting to hear what he needed.
“You forgot to take my brother's order,” he added when you stood silently.
You didn’t miss the way he softly chuckled and even though you knew it was directed at you, you couldn’t help but laugh a little too, the sound was so contagious. Still, your face went red, you had been so focused on how cute the man had been you didn’t even think to look over at the other guy he was with. You wanted to curl up in a ball and hide forever. Instead, you turned to the taller man, thinking with his height, you didn’t know how you could have missed him in the first place.
“Egg white omelet, please,” he said politely to you, then turned to his brother, “Oh shut up Dean,” he said. Dean the man you thought was so attractive was eyeing you and softly laughing to himself still.
His brother’s words seemed to be enough for him to calm himself down and your knees shook a little as he flashed you a smile that revealed his bright white teeth. You noticed the way that his eyes crinkled a little on the side when he was happy and it had you wanting to just sit down at the table and get to know the person beneath that face, instead, you forced yourself to go put in their order.
“Did you want some more coffee?” You asked as you came back over to the table.
You couldn’t really help yourself, you had checked on their water, poured them more coffee, and brought extra napkins. You were starting to think that they were going to figure you were angling for a bigger tip or something.
“Nope, all good doll, but do you think we could get the check?” Dean, you loved that name and it suited him perfectly, said.
You sighed audibly, you couldn’t help it, this was the last chance you had to make some sort of move and you knew you couldn’t do it. You slid the little piece of paper towards his outstretched fingers and slunk away from the table.
They both headed out of the diner, the little bell above the door tinkling softly, neither one of them so much as glancing back at you as they left. You forced yourself to walk over to the table, even though your feet were practically dragging you were moving so slowly, you didn’t need a reminder of your cowardice. As you started to pick up the plates you noticed they hadn’t left you a tip or anything, maybe Mr. Goodlooking had just been some low life cheapskate, it bolstered your spirits a little at him having gotten away.
You glanced at the check and you noticed right away the curling writing scribbled at the bottom, you balanced the plated and leaned forward scanning the receipt, ‘hope you will let me buy you a drink sometime, Dean 541 213-0981', you couldn’t help the smile that started to stretch across your face. You started to count down the minutes until your shift was up.
Calling him had been easy, though, you had stumbled over your words with the waves of excitement washing through you, noticing just how sexy his deep voice was, even when it was only saying things like, “I’ll meet you there at 10.” Brushing out your hair, you did your best to wear something slightly revealing but not too over the top, you settled on a low cut black lace camisole and a pair of jeans that hung low on your hips and wrapped around the curve of your ass perfectly. You even wore a pair of heels and put on some lipstick.
Throwing your head back, you casually pushed your hair out of your face, and walked into the little bar and marched towards the counter. Dean was already there, his eyes catching yours from the minute the door had opened, his fingers tracing over the label of the beer he was holding.
“Hey there handsome,” you said as you settled down on the stool beside him.
“Well, hey there to you too, beautiful,” he replied as continued to openly stare at you.
You noticed right away that his eyes never lingered on the swell of your chest or your ass, instead, they stayed focused on your face. You thought he seemed like quite the gentleman. You couldn’t wait to get to know him. You raised your arm to catch the bartender's attention, you knew the girl from high school and chatted awkwardly for a minute as she eyed you enviously as Dean leaned in closer towards you, she set the beer down heavily in front of you and was gone in a heartbeat.
Sipping your beer you realized just how easy it was to get to know him. He talked to you about everything, clearly, he was an open book. He told you about his family, how close he still was with his parents, and how he and his little brother were basically best friends. He told you funny stories about going through police training with his little brother and how both of them had been super competitive. It was all so exciting. You had lived in this one Starbucks town for all of your life and couldn’t even afford community college, you were doing all you could to try and save money with your waitressing job so you could finally get out of dodge but you knew that was a long way off.
Dean knew just how to respond, taking your hand at the right moments and squeezing it softly. Nodding excitedly at just the right points in your story. He had all the qualities of a practiced listener.
“So are you and your brother going to join the local force here then?” You asked hopefully.
You didn’t do one night stands, so the only way you knew that Dean was going to get an invite back to your place was if he was staying here for the long haul.
He searched your face, and grabbed both of your hands in his, “Yeah, we start Monday.”
It was Friday night.
The two of you moved pretty quickly after that, you had asked Dean to walk you home, but he had suggested that you go back to his motel with him so you could have some privacy while getting to know each other better.
“Won’t your brother be there?” You asked in between kisses.
He ran his hand across the side of your face. His eyes looking darker and slightly more intimidating in the moonlight.
“No, I promise, it’ll be just the two of us.”
There wasn’t much talking when the two of you stumbled into his room. It wasn’t because either of you had drunk too much, instead, it was the way your limbs kept intertwining together, mouths refusing to detach from each other, and as soon as the door opened both of your hands were ripping through layers of each other’s clothes.
After making love to Dean, you collapsed, happy and sated as he curled up next to you. It was easy to drift asleep and think about nothing. You knew the morning held endless possibilities for the two of you and it was great that Dean was so well versed in carnal pleasures. You figured it was good that he had decided to leave his number because if you had missed out on this you would have regretted it.
Sunlight was filtering in through the grime of the cheap motel windows, the were probably more plastic than actual glass and it distorted the light, just so, that it seemed like a slightly dull and rainy day, when in fact it was probably already a cool 70 degrees or so at 8 am. You stretch slowly, moving your legs first and then pulling your arms up over your head. A thought struck you, however, you noticed that the bed seemed big and empty, considering you and Dean had been closely snuggled together on the full-size mattress. You flipped yourself over and looked at the blank space of pulled back covers.
Your heart was beating frantically, a part of you kept saying that it was all just some mistake, Dean had probably just gone out to get you coffee and a donut or something. Still, you made sure to check inside the open door to the bathroom before peaking your head out into the parking lot. He had told you he drove a Dodge Challenger, so you peered out in the parking lot but all you saw was a well-loved Chevy Impala sitting on the edge of the gravel paving.
You went back inside and pulled on your clothes. Hands shaking a little as you buttoned your jeans, and trying to convince yourself that his absence was a mistake.
You didn’t have a shift waitressing, but you decided to go in anyway, deep in the back of your mind you figured Dean would know he could find you there at least.
Your boss tried to ask you questions about your Sunday shift as you walked inside and leaned against the counter but you just nodded absently in acknowledgment. You sat down on a stool and asked for a cup of coffee, then you waited.
9 Months later
You were so tired, and your body was aching all over, you could barely think straight but when the put the tiny bundle in your arms your heart swelled. It had been a hectic nine months and you knew that the next many years were going to be hard to deal with on your own but holding this beautiful little girl made everything seem doable.
A nurse came over and took the baby, “bringing her to the nursery,” she said.
Before another doctor came to talk to you.
“So for the birth certificate, we need to know the name of the father,” she said in a tone that clearly indicated she was trying to be delicate, considering you had just given birth and were completely alone.
You closed your eyes, trying your best not to start crying, you didn’t regret your child but you knew that every time this came up it would sting a little.
“He told me,” your voice was thick as you held back your tears, “he told me his name was Dean, that’s all I know.”
You thought back to when everything had first happened. The day after sleeping with him and waiting for him to come find you, and he never did. At first, you had just chalked it up to a dumb life lesson. Until your next period was two weeks late. Then the panic had set in. You had tried to call the police force but they had never heard of any Dean that had tried to apply. You asked about the town in Illinois that he said he had moved from but they couldn’t find anyone there either. Then you asked about the car, it seemed like a pretty unique factor but still came up blank.
That’s when it hit you. You hadn’t just had some one night stand, you had one with a total stranger, everything he had told you had been a lie. And now you were pregnant and had no way to even tell him he was a father.
You knew you were going to be forced to explain all of this to a tiny person who wouldn’t understand, someday, that your sweetness was going to eventually ask you, “where’s dada?” and you knew that when that happened your heart would probably break in two.
A hand patted your shoulder in a consolatory gesture and that was when you lost the battle of your emotions. You chest started to hitch and you felt like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. You wished your daughter was against you again, she was the only thing that reminded you that something good had come from meeting Dean, but she was gone for the moment leaving only the vague feeling that whatever that man touched turned to chaos.
That’s when the tears started to pour down your face.
#shred all the hearts#dean x reader#dean x you#dean winchester angst#dean x reader angst#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural angst#supernatural smut#implied smut#my writing#angst
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[1] hello! i'm a fellow old ans fan. have been here before the fandom was as active as it is too. and seeing the conflict rn i felt like i might say stg. not abt the conflict, but abt the fandom's prospects. i dont think it's about the ships. thinking this is the issue is ignoring the real source of the problem. i think the tension started due to the lack of filters and common sense in what to share in the main/or char tags. this could be improved by pretty much using the right tags like
[2] “anti-[redacted]”, “char hate”, etc. nobody wants to enter the main tag, or their fav character/ship’s tags only to find ppl talking bad of them. everyone is entitled to their opinions but some things that may cause offense/discomfort should be put in the right corner. in the last years, i’ve seen ppl grow progressively wary and upset w the tag’s content. i include myself in this group too. what used to be fun, became a “what will i even see this time..”, “what new theory will ppl come up w
[3] that disregards/depreciates n thing”. this was how many fans i know distanced themselves from tumblr fandom. maybe part of the fandom didnt realize but, for other folks, coming in the main tag became stressing, displeasant. suddenly, stg that was a source of comfort/happiness became a minefield. i think that, if ppl made a compromise to tag things properly, and encouraging others to do so, conflicts could be avoided. i dont think the shipping preferences are the problem, i think the problem
[4] is knowing the time and space of things. consider “is this thing i want to post potentially offensive?”, “am i flooding the tag too much?”, “can this upset someone?”, and thus act accordingly: tag safely, keep it to the spaces it’ll be accepted. this way, we create a better environment for our fandom, in which everyone can enjoy themselves. we all want to be able to enjoy stg we love and feel part of it, right? so we should work on making the tag’s environment good/safe for everyone.
If it’s about character hate, then yes it should have a separate tag to include it, since some people might hate a character or a ship with passion that they want to express their hate for it and maybe post something full of cursive words about them without giving any reason.
but There’s a big different between bashing a character\ship because you don’t like them and writing a review about the character\ship including all their good and bad traits and commenting about certain things they did and what you thought about them and what you didn’t like about them. and if some people can’t handle others criticizing a character\ship behavior then it’s their problem because this is a public fandom and people have different opinions and different views of each character and each ship and each situation. so if it’s a hate post then yes as I said it belongs in its tag but if the post is reviewing the caracter\ship then it belongs on the main tag were people have the right to reply to it with good manners, and know that even if the person was still holding on to their opinion at the end of the discussion then it’s okay, people are allowed to hang to their opinions and are allowed to leave a conversation if it made them uncomfortable for whatever sort of reason.
So in short: bashing belongs in its own tag. Criticism and reviews belong in the main tag.
But you should know, that people who just can’t accept that others might disagree with them most certainly will go into the anti\hate tags, find the people that don’t like the same things that they do and start trouble all over again
Last, I’d like to thank you for writing this ask politely and not just spit words out, thanks.
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so ive only seen some of your posts recently but every time I do I think 'damn im really glad someone else in the fandom feels the way I do' bc im 100% on the same page as you. I mean i love CS but haven't been excited by the show or them really as much since probably 5a maybe? I'm sorry if people have been shitting on you just because your feelings about a show change (bc the show has gone so downhill) but please know there are people like me who appreciate you and agree with you x
THIS is exactly why I will keep posting them my dear. These kind of messages make me so happy because I know I’m not just bringing down my followers posting my feelings, there are a few who feel the same way and having that validated by seeing it shared is so important.
I’ve seen a lot of stuff flying past my dash the past few days and the thing that seems to be missing from some of the counter-negativity arguments is this idea that the only thing the Negative Nancy’s are contributing, all they ever contribute is negativity and it’s somehow bringing the entire fandom down.
That’s flawed for several reasons.
One - everything I post is properly tagged so those who follow me and don’t wish to see it can filter it out.
Two - I never post negativity in the main tags unless Im not paying attention and tag it Captain Swan on reflex and then I delete the tag when I notice. So for someone to see it they have to be following me, not blocking negativity tags, or specifically following negativity tags. In which case the burden of being brought down by negative feelings comes down to your dash management, not the person posting it. They don’t need you to criticize their opinions when they didn’t post them on the main public forum. They posted them for their followers, they posted them in their tags (which are the Tumblr version of a safe space whether you like that term or not).
Yes, Tumblr is a public social media platform, and by posting things on here you open yourself up to criticism, but it also has a system in place to make ensure it is safe for you to post and for those who don’t want to see it to avoid it.
What is does NOT have is a good group messaging or group sub space to vent these feelings to only certain people. And it kind of defeats the purpose of the platform to do so. It’s a BLOGGING platform not a Facebook wall or a Google Chat group. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding of what Tumblr is on their part.
Three - I have posted far more non negative or flaily posts on here than I ever post negative. That’s just numbers (which I will provide later when I have time to use the API to get them). This idea that negative posters are just sitting here hate watching and post constant bombardments of criticism is patently false. It’s usually a cycle: information comes out I dislike, I share my feelings usually in one post or a few consecutive ones as new thoughts happen, and then I respond to a few (not nearly all) messages that came in from those posts.
Then I get over it, because I had a place to vent, and I start posting as usual.
Four - only fans should be subjected to this “you posted publicly you open yourself up to criticism” not the creators or writers. The show is on broadcast television. It doesn’t get more public than that really.
And in the times I have reached out to the writers it’s always on a post where they asked for fans to do so, or in response to something they posted. I have veered from polite critique to angry critique in a few of them, that’s probably not the best behavior, but it is what it is and I let my emotions get the best of me. I own it, I’m fine with it, if nothing else it shows a commitment to the show and the material.
I also feel like I have praised them enough that when they suddenly abandon the things that made me love the show I should also tell them what I hate.
In my view, which people are fine to disagree with, it’s not entitlement. It’s expressing concern over a change in a consumer product. If the manufacturer of my foundation changes the formula after years and years of it being awesome to something terrible I’m going to write a review to tell them. I’m going to see what I can do to get them to go back to what they WERE doing because that worked for me, the consumer of said product. Whether the new formulation works for other people is irrelevant to ME and my money and my time. And it is my money with this show, I have spent a lot on merchandise and spent even more of my time. I’ve given them free advertisement and supported articles written about them and that’s not nothing, thats how television viewership works. Viewers promote what they love and put down what they hate and stop watching if it gets unbearable.
The show isn’t unbearable yet. Emma and Killian are still alive and they keep making statements it’ll get better. That’s how advertising works.
I don’t write to ask them to change it to my version of the show, I write to ask them to go back to the show I fell in love with.
So yeah. That's my view. I love that it helps you and others and I will keep being me.
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