#but matthew coming out half dressed :')) with the new guy on his tail :'))) yeah that's the STUFF
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fannyyann · 2 months ago
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of course matthew's the only one to eat poutine straight from the mini cup
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christinky · 6 years ago
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The Runaway, (Bucky x reader)
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Mention of blood and cutting (Not too much, very short), some angst, some fluff, running away, mention of death.
Words: A lot
Summary: You messed up, people died because of your mistake. Not being able to handle it you leave the Avengers and start a new life. You are happy living in a small town, until your past comes to find you and you have to make a decision. 
A/N: I’M SUPER PUMPED FOR THIS. I hope you guys like this! I’ve had this idea with a couple other plot and situations, my spotify discover had some songs that for some reason helped me come up with this. Let me know what you think. 
The light pries through the blinds, you can feel the warmth of his arm wrapped around you. You lie there still, slowly waking up, enjoying the cosiness of the warm bed. Cuddling up closer to you fiance he starts to move, “Good morning beautiful” he says in his raspy voice. 
You smile as he pulls you in closer, holding you close. “Good morning sunshine.” 
Taking this opportunity you flip over to face him, his strong arms still holding you close. You bury your face into his neck, closing your eyes in peace. 
The room was quiet, warm, just right. His lips are pressing against the top of your head, making you smile. You lift your head to look up at him, his brown wavy hair is all messy, eyes soft and full of love as they look back down at you. This gives you hope that you are going to truly be happy. 
“I have to get ready for work,” He pouts as you start to cling to him, not letting go, “Please (Y/N), I have to go to work.” 
He tries prying your grip apart so he can escape. “No, 5 more minutes!” You demand, still half asleep. 
“I’ll see you when you get home from work love, besides only 12 more days until you will be Mrs. Matthew Evans.” He smiles as he places a kiss on your forehead, knowing that you don’t like morning breath kisses. 
“I can’t wait.” Your eyes meet as you bite your bottom lip, his brown eyes lit up with joy. 
He leaves you in bed as he gets ready for work. The two of you met 3 years ago, a few months after you moved to town and he proposed 6 months ago. You are happy, happier than you thought you would be but something is missing. 
Flashes of the life you left behind come up often, memories of him. The one you left. You never thought you could be as happy as you were then, but you are pretty close. With all the happy memories there are also painful ones, which caused you to run, change your name, and go into hiding. 
Matt comes back into the bedroom, sits next to you on the bed. The smell of his cologne fills the room, it is a handsome, musky scent. His hand bushes your hair back, then bringing it to your cheek. The warmth is welcomed as he pulls your head up, pressing his lips to yours. His lips are soft and loving. You melt against him, “I love you babe.” 
“I love you too.” You place one more kiss goodbye before he walks out of the room, moments later you hear the front door close. You mean what you say, you love him, even if you think of your old boyfriend at times.
You roll out of your bed, knowing that its your turn to get ready. Opening your closet, you search for something to wear, eventually settling on a pink tank top with a gray cardigan and jeans. Your morning routine is simple, brushing your teeth then a quick simple everyday makeup and throwing your hair into a pony tail. 
Before you start to head, you stare into the mirror just like almost everyday. Looking at who you are now, and looking back at who you used to be. Remembering why you left, and why you can’t go back. Your chest starts to tighten from the pain, head starts to get heavy and eyes weak. It what has to be done though, and with that you grab your purse and go to work. 
When you first moved to town, you searched for a job. At the community center they were looking for a youth programs coordinator. You were drawn to it, thinking that you could help some kids and have fun yourself.
You love going to work, during the day you plan events and make sure the day’s activities were all set for when the kids got out of school. Helping coach and coordinate sports games for high schoolers, giving them a place to have fun with their friends and get help with school work. No one expected high schoolers to be coming to the program but after a while you had a regular group that came. Middle schoolers and elementary is easy, they all flood in after school. You have games and activities set up, you always make you that you are available to play and help them when needed. 
It makes you feel important, like you are still helping those who need it, you are making a difference. You know almost all the kids that come through the doors, and they all love you. At the end of the day you stand on the steps as the kids run to get to their parents. Full of pride as you see the joy on their faces. Until you start to feel your stomach drop, thinking that if they knew who you really were, would they still accept you, still love you. You get sick just thinking about it. 
Rather than driving or taking a bus you walk to and from work. You only live about 3/4s of a mile away, and you like the quiet alone time you get from it. The sun is setting, the sky filled with pink and orange. The beauty helps calm you. A cold breeze brushes past you, sending a shiver down your spine, but it is welcomed. The smells of barbecues, fresh cut grass and nature fill the air. The air is much fresher here than what you were used to. You inhale deeply, taking in the smells, letting your shoulders relax.
A huge bang rings out from the other side of the street. You freeze, looking for the source of the sound, heart pounding in your chest. Instantly being thrown back into your past. 
The sound of gunshots fill the air. You are on the rooftop alone except for a lone gunman by the edge. You and Nat were given orders to take out the gunmen on the rooftops. The rest of your team is on the ground and flying through the air focusing on the main target. 
You focus on the gunman as you try to catch him off guard. You are quiet, making sure not to alert him. In an instant his head jerks to look at you, focusing his gun at you. Staying calm, you use your gun to shot him in the arm before he can fire a shot, causing him to drop the gun in pain. 
A harsh force hits your head, knocking you to the ground. Looking around you realize you forgot a parameter check to look for anyone else on the roof, therefor you did not see the guy hiding in the shadows. Its 2 against one. This is on you, knowing full well that that was the first thing you should have done before fulling entering the rooftop. 
You get back on your feet, wanting to fix your mistake fast. He goes to punch you again, you grab his arm and pull it down. Pulling up your knee to bash his face against. He hits the ground, blood pouring out from his nose. You kick him in the crotch to make sure he is down.
At this point the gunman is ready for you, but he doesn’t have a gun drawn at you this time. Its down, against his side. He has a sly smile on his face, watching you intensely. The look in his eyes makes you uneasy, his eyes are crazy, almost with happiness rather than anger. You eyes instantly notice his hand, in it is a bomb. 
You run at him, looking to take him out at his knees. Your heart is racing, hands sweaty, mind fully focused on him. He stands still, waiting for you. Just before you reach him, he jumps. Rushing to the side you see him falling, you watch in horror as you see him throwing the bomb into a broken window of the building you are on.
The office building has yet to be evacuated due to the entrances leading to a war zone. No other ways out. Your heart drops as you see glass shatter, flames fly out, followed by screaming of people. Innocent people. 
Under your feet you feel the building start to shake. Apparently the building’s structure was blown from the bomb. It is about to come down. You look to the side, assessing the distance between buildings, figuring you could make it. You sprint as fast as you can to the edge and jump. 
Your arms meet the rough texture of the roof as you slide against it. Quickly, you push yourself up as you see the building you were just on collapsing, with everyone inside it. Tears start pouring out of you, thrown back in shock. Your head starts hurting with the realization that this is your fault. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” You hear Bucky, your boyfriend, screaming through the comms to you, “(Y/N)! Are you okay?” 
But you don’t respond, overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt. You messed up, this is on you. The death of hundreds of people. Without thinking, you rip the comm out of your ear and throw it into the rubble of the collapsed building. Making sure you aren’t noticed, you escape and start running.
“Ms. (Y/N)” You hear a voice call out, “Are you okay?” 
Your attention dawn to a parent in the driveway across the street, “Oh yeah, I’m sorry. That loud boom just scared me a bit!” You shout back to him. 
“I’m so sorry, that was just the hood of my car, I was checking on the engine.” You let out a sigh of relief as you jump back to reality. 
“Oh you’re fine!” You assure him, “I’m just a little jumpy is all.” 
You continue walking, trying to forget about the flashback you just had. Instead thinking about your wedding, you have planned it all out perfectly. A nice simple ceremony, with some friends you have made along with his family followed by a small reception. Its going to be simple but gorgeous. Tomorrow you pick up your dress, a lovely full length with a straight skirt. Modest yet sexy. 
When you arrive home, Matt is waiting for you with dinner, like usual. The fact that Matt could cook was amazing, you love that about him. He is also kind and gentle, yet rough and strong. Like the best of both worlds. The kids at the community center actually pushed you to him, this is a pretty small town but not too small. 
Matt had the kids in his class, and once they learned that you were single too they instantly went into matchmaker mode. Setting the two of you up, and its been wonderful ever sense. 
Once dinner was over, you took a shower and lie in bed. Matt is already in bed reading a book when you enter the bedroom. You fold over the comforter and jump in next to him. He closes his book and turns off the light. Lying down and reaching out his arm for you. You snuggle up closer to him, head on his chest and legs tangled up. 
Looking up your eyes meet his. Getting lost in his blue eyes, they are stunning. His scruff rubbing against your forehead before he places a kiss there. He is smiling from ear to ear, your heart jumps at the sight of him. He flips over onto his side, so you guys are facing each other. You feel the coldness of his arm on your lower back. “I missed you love, I’m so happy to have you back.” He whispers to you.
“I missed you too Buck” you reply before pulling him into a kiss. 
You open your eyes slowly, you look up gently. Not expecting to be hit with disappointment. Not realizing you had a smile on your face as you feel it fade away. You are cuddled up with Matt, seeing he is still sound asleep. You lie there, remembering the dream you just had, how it felt right. How you wish it was real, and you were back in Bucky’s arms. 
Immediately you get the thought out of your head. Knowing that it will never happen, you left that life, making sure no one could connect the dots from here and no one would come find you. After all, the world thinks the real you is dead. Thinking your body was lost in the rubble, one if the ones that were never identified. They found your comm, and they assumed you fell along with it. 
Matt starts to stir as he wakes up, his arms stretch out as he lets out a moan. Then looking down to meet your eyes. Hiding the disappointment in sadness that was just there moments ago. 
The two of you carry on your usual routine, he gets up first and gets ready, kissing you goodbye. About an hour later you get ready, and head to work. 
You finish locking up the building, as you leave to go pick up your wedding dress. You are excited, even if your dream still lingers in the back of your mind, not helping but thinking that it should be Bucky at the end of the isle. 
The dress shop agreed to stay open late so you could pick up the dress and do a final fitting to make sure it was perfect. As you walk out of the dressing room, the two employees look at you in amazement. You look beautiful. You stand on the platform in front of the mirrors. 
Not meaning to, you start crying. They both think its from finding the perfect dress and being so happy. Part of it was from how you look in the dress, you don’t want to admit it to yourself but deep inside you knew this was wrong. Yes you love Matt but he will never be your Bucky. 
The seamstress makes sure everything is perfect before you go back to take the dress off. In the dressing room you let yourself stop faking the happiness. You allow yourself to be sad, for just a moment. Because this is your like now, you had no choice. 
Leaving the shop, you head to your friend’s house. You met Nina when you first moved here, she was searching for a roommate so you applied. She had agreed to be your maid of honor in the wedding, and was now letting you hide the dress at her place. She knows nothing about your feelings or your real past of course, you can’t even let your best friend know anything. 
The night sky is clear, stars filling the sky. The air is cool and crisp, still and quiet. Wedding dress in your arm, you try to compose yourself and focus back on the wedding and how you are still happy. A sharp pain strikes the back of your head as something makes contact with you, sending you straight into the ground. You try to get up but hit again, then everything goes dark. 
You feel a pounding headache as you come back to you senses. You keep your eyes closed to help fight the pain. You try to move, only to feel something cold and hard against your wrists, which are above your head. You start to open your eyes, you are sitting on a dirt floor. Looking around the room, you see that the walls are covered in dirt, one door, no windows, the ceiling is mostly blocks of wood and more dirt. There is a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling that lights up the small room. You are underground. Thats when you see cuffs around your wrists with chains attached to the wall holing you up. Your ankles are also chained but attached to some weights rather than the floor. 
On the other side of the room, right across from you, there was a computer system. about 7 screens. You think about what those could possibly be for. On the seat in front of it you see your wedding dress draped over the back. 
Your heart is about to burst out of your chest its pounding so hard. You can feel your palms get clammy. For the first time in years, you are afraid. Having no idea where you are, why you are here and what is going on. Thinking that this can’t be linked to your past, you are dead, how did anyone find you. That is the only reason you can think of, this life you have lived the past 4 years is over. 
The door in the corner starts to open. Your breathing is still intense as you prepare for someone to walk through. Its a man, he is build like a house and tall, his face is covered with a mask. You can’t even see his eyes or anything. “Are you ready?” His voice is disguised, must be a device in the mask. 
You are cold, face pale, but you try to keep a neutral expressions so he doesn’t know you are scared. “For what?” You ask, keeping your voice from shaking.
He turns on the computers and starting to do something on the main screen. You cant see as he is blocking the screen from you, which only causes you more fear. “To see them again.” He laughs as he speaks.
Your stomach drops them, knowing exactly who that is. It can only mean your old team, the one you ran away from, the one that was like your family, the Avengers. That means Bucky. Your mind races, thinking about what they will think, have they known that you weren’t dead, if there did were they searching for you, or did they think you were dread and you are suddenly back and alive. 
The man walks over to you, a sack in his hands. He places it over your head, hiding you from the screen, he must be waiting to make your reveal special. He has plans for you, your stomach aches with the thoughts of what it could be. 
You hear his footsteps go back to the computers, you can hear his fingers clicking against the keyboard. Suddenly he speaks voice still disguised, “Hello there, I hope I have everyone’s attention.” 
You shiver at the sound, knowing who he is talking to. “I have something to show you,” You hear him walking back to you, suddenly the darkness from the sack disappears. Blinding you for a moment. You look right at the computer screens, they are all showing videos of different rooms in the compound. Your friends watching you. “Look who I found,” His voice is cheery. 
He must have hacked the system Tony had in place, broadcasting you on every monitor in the place, security cameras showing them. You lose your breath, wide eyes and still as a statue. On the top right screen is Bucky, he looks as frozen as you are. “I found her in a little town in Nebraska of all places.” You can see the shock on everyone’s face. 
“She seems to have quite the life there, a good job working with kids. How sweet.” He starts pacing around the room. 
“Now you see, I assume you would like her back, or at least alive. I will gladly return her to you.” He pauses, “But of course that means I want payment. Nothing to crazy of course, just a fair trade. How about an arc reactor, that seems like a great trade, an arc reactor for your friend’s life.” 
You can see Tony and Steve talking on the left center screen. You can’t hear anything. No sound is coming from the speakers. You scan all of the screens, you can see Nat, Wanda, Vision, Steve, Sam, Thor, Tony, Bruce and Bucky. There are all there, staring at you, helpless. 
“Now, the choice is yours. If you don’t comply I’ll just keep her as my pet.” He walks over to you, his fingers pet the side of your face. You try to squirm away, pulling his hand back it comes back at full force. You wince in pain, feeling the blood drip from your nose. You snap your head back to the screen, seeing the fear in Bucky’s eyes, in everyone’s eyes really. 
“Anything you would like to say my dear?” His hand motions to the video camera on the main monitor. 
You take a deep breath, holding back tears. “I’m sorry.” Its all you could manage to say before the tears overwhelm you and burst out of you. 
“Are you sorry for making the world think you were dead?” He pauses, walking over to the chair, “Or this?” 
He hold up the wedding dress for them to see, “You’re getting married soon.” He looks over to you, your arms and legs go numb, “You would have made a beautiful bride, don’t you think Bucky?” 
Bucky is getting mad, you can tell. It looks like he is about to jump through the screen. You can also see pain in his eyes, pain that you would do this to him. You just sit there, crying. 
Looking at him again, you force yourself to speak, “Bucky, I had to. Please Buck, I’m sorry. I still love-” You are cut off with another punch to the face. Loosing consciousness for a moment. 
“God, shut up.” The man hisses, “Now if you want to make a trade, meet me here,” he hold up a map so you can’t see. “I’ll be waiting.”
Then the screens go black. The man walks out of the room without giving you another look. 
You don’t know how long its been, since there is no windows or anyway to tell time. As time passes he comes back. He comes back just to hurt you, no words spoken. A few time he cut you, kicked you, and then the classic punch. It feels like weeks have passed, you know it hasn’t been nearly as long, couldn’t have been more than 2 days tops. 
As you sit there alone, you try to distract yourself from the physical pain. The only way to do that is focus on the emotional pain. You think about what they are doing in your current life, Matt is probably worried sick with you missing, using Nina as comfort. No one is there for the kids unless they got volunteers. Your chest is tight, in pain thinking about the pain you are causing everyone. 
Then your mind goes to the team, after 4 years, what were they saying or thinking. Bucky probably has moved on, forgot about you. This is just a painful reminder for him. Would they even want to save you? Why would they? You had abandoned them, made everyone believe you were dead. This is what you deserve. 
As you come to terms with your current situation, accepting your fate to die here, the door opens. “Looks like they might not hate you after all.” He looks down at you, “Too bad they wont get to you.” 
He walks back out as he slams the door, you can hear it lock on the other side. Again, your emotions get the best of you. You start crying uncontrollably. You start to scream “NOOOO!” 
You scream and scream, but it doesn’t do anything. Your throat hurts forcing you to stop. You are underground, no one will hear you and you can’t hear them. You lean your head against the wall, tears still steaming down your cheeks. You find yourself losing energy to stay awake as you cry yourself to sleep. 
You jerk awake, you hear noises outside the door. Voices sound like they are screaming, but you hear them as whispers. Pounding on what must be more doors outside of your’s. 
You feel lighter, you start to feel hope build up inside you. You pull the rest of the energy you have left in you, “HELP!” You scream, “PLEASE! SOMEONE! HELP ME!” You continue, hoping maybe just maybe they can hear you. 
The noises outside disappear, puling everything you have you just scream, not wasting it on words. Just the loudest scream you had in you. You wait a moment, listening to see if it worked. Nothing.
Grief overcomes you, you missed your chance. You throw your head back against the dirt wall, hoping you can just end it now. Thats when you hear it. Another whisper, it is louder than it was before. “Guys, I heard it coming from over here.” 
It sounds a bit like Steve, you are certain its really Steve. “Steve! Please, I’m in here!” You try to scream but it comes out weak. 
Suddenly you can hear bashing against the door. Part of you is happy, the other part worried, what will it be like seeing them again. 
You hear the lock give as the door is bashed open. You really want to look at them as they walk through, but you can’t. Staring at the floor away from the door as you can hear them walk towards you. “(Y/N)..” It’s Steve, his voice is soft and gentle. 
“I’m sorry.” again its all you can manage to say as your hair covers your face and tears starting to spill out of you. 
Footsteps are walking towards you, You can see the boots in front of your face. They are Nat’s. She bends down, pulling your chin up. Looking you right in your eyes. She looks sad, well for her at least. “Listen, you are fine. We are so happy to see you.” She looks at you for a bit longer before she stands, focusing on the cuffs on your hands as Steve releases your ankles from the weights. 
“Where is he?” You ask, looking over at Steve. The corner of his mouth turns into a smile as his head motions to the door. 
There he is, Bucky emerging from the door way. He looks broken. Almost like he had when he was at his worst after escaping Hydra. He stares at you, waiting to see your creation towards him. You can tell that part of him wants to run to you, but the ball is in your court right now. 
“Bucky..” You sound so relieved. You watch him as you stand up, weak from the time spent chained to the floor with the beatings, but you can still do it. You walk to him as fast as you can, as he starts moving forward to catch you as you began to stumble. 
There you are in his arms, eyes meeting for the first time. Neither of you say a word, he just helps you get out of here. 
They take you into the jet, everyone is sitting around as Bruce cleans your wounds. Luckily you aren’t hurt too bad, mild concussion with some scars and bruises. Tony gave you a hoodie to change into because your clothes were covered in blood. 
Everyone is silent for a while except for Bruce telling you to hold still. You just stare at the floor. “So (Y/N), you need to tell me where to fly this thing.” Tony breaks the silence. “Listen, we all want you back, welcoming you with open arms. You had us worried sick about you, we thought we had lost you. But here you are and we want you back.”
You stay silent, trying to think even though you know what you want. You turn to Tony who continues talking, “However, where ever you had been for the past 4 years, you have obviously made a life there.” He looks at the engagement ring on your finger. “Its your choice.” 
Scanning the room everyone is staring at you, everyone with smiles on their faces, looking like they actually mean that they want you to stay with them. Bucky though, he looks hurt. He is hurt that you would just run away, leaving everything the two of you had built. 
Looking back, you two were perfect. 3 years together, as long as you and Matt. The late night conversations, you helping him cope, just lying in each other’s arms for hours, your play fights, the walks in the park you loved, and just being happy. 
“Well first, this is at least what I want to know,” Steve speaks up, “Why did you leave?” 
You swallow hard, preparing yourself, “I messed up.” You hold back the tears, even though you don’t think you have any left, “It was all my fault that those people died. I couldn’t live with looking at all of you everyday knowing that I was the one who messed up. I didn’t really think it through, I just ran. When I had the chance to think about it and see that I should have stayed it was too late” 
You scan the room again to see everyone’s reactions. They look puzzled. “(Y/N),” Its Wanda’s turn to speak, “No one was in that building.” 
“What? There was no way out. I heard their screams.” You are focused on her.
Steve stands, walking towards you. “After the first attack the city put underground tunnels under building just in case of another attack. They were just kept a secret until they were needed to prevent anything.” He kneels in front of you, “No one was in there.” 
You interrupt him, “What about the screams?”
“That must have just been from those in other buildings that were not evacuated yet, there was only capacity for a building or two at a time. We got the ones that were in most danger out first.” Steve looks at you like he knows what has been eating you up inside the past 4 years. 
You look him in the eyes, “Are you sure I’m welcomed back?” 
“Of course” Natasha places a hand on your back, “But I think before we go we should do one last sweep of the place.” 
Everyone nods as they stand, “(Y/N) you wait here, Bucky keep an eye on her.” Steve says as they exit the Jet. 
It is clear what they are doing, they want the two of you to talk. You look over to him, his eyes already watching you as he walks over, taking a seat next to you. You go to speak but are cut off by him. 
“Listen, the decision is yours. I don’t want to make it any harder for you. If you love him, go back to him.” 
“I love him,” You start, Bucky looks away, “But I love Steve, I love Wanda, I love Tony, I love the entire team. But, over everyone, I love you the most Buck.” 
His attention is back on you, holding your hand now, “I understand if you don’t love me anymore, but if you are willing to give me another chance, if you are willing to try rebuilding what we had, I want to. I want to be with you.” 
Bucky stays quiet, “I’m sorry Bucky, every night I thought about you. Wished you were the one beside me. Truth is, I might have been happy but I felt like I had to force myself. Thinking I could never be happy without you, but I thought I could never have you again. I didn’t mean to hurt you, really. I just had to move on at some point. I love you Bucky” 
The water works start again, and rather than speaking he pulls you into a hug. In this moment, everything is perfect, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you cause you to melt in his grasp. He hold you for a while, you feel weight lifting off your shoulders as you are pressed against his warm body. 
“I love you too.” He whispers in your ears, scruff brushing against them making you giggle. You pull away to look at him, both you smiling knowing that you are back. 
You bite your lip, knowing what you have to do, “You do know, I have to go back there though.” 
Bucky nodding in agreement. 
“I have to say goodbye, I need to give them all closure and I think someone deserves an apology.” You look down as you play with your engagement ring, “I think he needs this back too.” 
Foot steps start making their way up the ramp of the jet, the entire team coming back on board. Its clear they are waiting your response. You look up at them, Tony sits in the pilot’s chair starting up the engine. 
“I have to go back.” You announce still playing with your ring, “I have to say goodbye, they all deserve at least that much. I have some explaining to do, I don’t want to do it but he deserves better.” 
As Tony gets the jet ready you give him the address so he can at least see where to fly. “Okay, I think this will take more than a few hours, maybe more than a day considering you do have that rock on your finger.” Tony announces while taking off, “So Nat if you could find us a hotel that would be great. (Y/N) if you have any suggestions, also where is somewhere to land this thing?” 
You hesitate, realizing what you are about to do, “Well I would love to invite you guys to stay at my place but I don’t think I’ll really be welcomed there” You wanted this to be a joke but it just broke you inside. You really did not want to hurt Matt, you do love him but this is just a horrible situation. “There is really only one hotel, its pretty small but its nice. You can land on the community center fields. You’ll just have to get approval from the mayor, I believe he is the next in line for that.” 
Bruce shoots you a confused look, “Next in line? Why don’t we just go to whoever is first.” He suggests.
“You see, being the youth program coordinator, I basically run the community center so I would be the person who could give you permission but seeing as I am not there, I can’t make sure the fields are cleared and give permission. If someone wants to give me their phone I can give you his number so you can speak with him. 
Now everyone is looking at you in amazement and confusion. “Okay, I’ll ask,” Nat taking the floor, “First, how did you get that job with no qualification at all. Second, why do you know the mayors phone number by heart?” 
Fair enough, you thought to yourself. Thinking you would have to explain as they dug around later anyways. “Well first, it is really easy to lie on a resume and make it sound legit. Since the community center belongs to the citizens there my interview was done by a group of volunteers who really didn’t want to waste their time calling references. Second, since that was my job I had to get permission and permits and stuff like that for events so I called him a lot. Plus we are pretty good friends.” 
That didn’t help much with the confusion as you can tell. Tony hand you his phone as you type in the number and hand it back to him, thinking this wasn’t the time to ask to land the Avenger’s jet on the property while you are currently a missing person and all. 
For the rest of the flight the team asks more questions about your new life. You don’y mind filling them in, just wish that it could maybe wait. Every time you talk about it you remember all the good times, the people, everything that you are choosing to leave and the pain you are about to cause. Mostly you worry about Matt, this wedding is almost a week away and you are going to crush his heart. You are breaking down in the inside, nerves going crazy, stomach hurting and pressure in your head. 
“Looks like people are pretty excited for the Avengers,” Tony interrupts, seeing the crowd of people waiting there for you all. 
As you land, you start to feel sick. You can’t handle this. Wanda notices your distress, walking over and grabbing your hand before the door opens. She can tell you need to be comforted, someone for support and how that person cannot be Bucky right now. 
The ramp starts to lower, everyone else stepping out before you attempt. The mayor it there to greet them along with some other important people. You can hear them speak, “So please tell me, why are the Avengers making a surprise visit to our little town.” 
Your stomach drops, you hand on to Wanda as you start walking. No one speaks before you emerge from the Jet, arm and arm with Wanda. Bucky stays on the jet, not wanting to leave. Scanning the crowd, you spot Matt who is running to you, over joyed to see you safe. 
He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight. You let go of Wanda and hug him back. In the background you hear the kids cheering your name with the sound of their feet running. Suddenly you were in the middle of a giant group hug. 
You can’t help but laugh, looking around to see all the smiling faces. You look over to the team standing next to you, they have smiles too, they aren’t genuine because they know what is gong to happen. You see Bucky peering out from the jet. 
“Wow I am so happy to see all of you!” You say to the kids, “Did you guys want to meet the friends I brought with me?” 
Instantly the kids dispersed to the different Avengers, trying to talk to them and get attention. You laugh seeing how thrown back everyone is at how excited and uncontrolled the children are seeing their heroes. 
“I’m so glad you are okay babe,” Matt pulls you back closer to him, “Are you okay? Where have you been? And how did the Avengers get involved?” There is concern in his eyes, wanting to make sure you are okay. Before you can answer his lips are pressed to yours. Knowing that this will be your last you allow it, holding the back of his neck as he kisses you deeply. He finally pulls away, you can feel the team’s eyes on you. 
“Listen, we can talk about that in private. Do you want to run inside real quick and talk?” Your voice is low, Matt knows it is serious. 
Taking his hand the two of you sneak into the community center. 
“Tell me what happened? Please, who’s ass do I have to kick.” He is serious. Not making this any easier for you. 
You refuse to meet his gaze, not wanting to see his face as you hurt him. “I lied to you.” He pauses, waiting for you to continue, “I didn’t leave California for the quiet town life. I left New York to escape my life. My last name is not Henderson. I am (Y/full/N)’ 
Matt cuts you off, raising his voice before you can continue, “Wait (Y/full/N), as in the Avenger that was presumed dead years ago.” You just nod, avoiding his gaze, “Are you serious right now?” 
Biting your lip you take a deep breath before continuing, “I didn’t mean to lie or hurt you. I got scared and ran away. Came here, made a life for myself without violence.” He is standing across the room, pacing with his hands on his head trying to stay calm. 
“So what you got cold feet and ran back to them?” His voice was angry now.
“No! Someone did take me.” You correct him, “This guy somehow knew who I was and wanted to use me as bait. Thinking that if he had me he could get something from them. They saved me Matt.” 
His pacing has stopped, “Then what does this mean?” His voice calmer now, “Now that they know you are alive, will they leave you alone?” 
Your heart beat is surprisingly calm right now, your palms are sweaty and you can feel pain in your chest knowing what is about to happen. “I’m sorry,” HIs eyes dart to meet yours, “I..I’m going back with them. I have to.”
“Are they forcing you? They can’t do that (Y/N)!” His voice is angry again, you can see veins bulging in his neck.  
“No Matt, It’s not like that.” You take a deep breath to prepare yourself, “I love you, I really do. I don’t want to do this to you. This is something I have to do. They are not forcing me but I have to go back with them. They, well they are my family.” 
Tears start again, they were genuine though, “What about me? Aren’t I your family? What about your life here?” His breathing is heavy, his face red with anger. 
He notices you are now crying, stopping immediately and calming himself down. Seeing that this is hard on you as well. Once is settles down he comes to sit next to you.
 “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to yell.” He places a hand on your back, “I just love you so much. I don’t want to lose you. Even if you aren’t who you say you are, you are still the girl I fell in love with.”
His words sting, hitting you deep in your core. “I wish I didn’t have to hurt you by doing this. I am truly sorry. I hope you forgive me, that you can move on and find someone way better than me.” 
You take off your ring, placing it in his hand. Standing up, you don’t have feeling in your legs. Still able to move them, they just feel like they have a mind of their own. Before you leave, you place a kiss on his forehead like he had done to you all those mornings. Walking away you stop at the door, “I love you.” you say one last time as you walk out. 
Outside, you wipe the tears from your face. Composing yourself for everyone else’s sake. Sam is the first to see you walking back, nudging Nat so she can excuse herself from the conversations. 
“Hey,” She says softly once she reaches you, “I’m guessing that didn’t go to well” 
She can see how red your eyes are as she helps fix you up, bowing on your face to dry it off. Once you were ready, she walks with you. 
In your head you think this can’t go any worse than how it went with Matt. Mentally preparing yourself as you stand between Nat and Tony, with the rest of the Avengers. 
A little hand pops up, you gesture for the child to speak, “Ms. (Y/N), how do you know the Avengers?” 
You were hoping to explain this to just the adults, not the children but here you are. “Well, you see... I used to be an Avenger.” You start to explain. Seeing all the parents and your friends turn to each other in shock. You bend down to the kids who are now actively listening to you, “Before I moved here I was an Avenger, but now they need me to go back. They need me to help them fight the bad guys.” 
All the children are looking at you with amazement. Everyone actively listening as well, hoping you can put it in a way both children and adults can understand without causing any issues, “I really don’t want to leave you guys. I love all of you, it’s just the Avengers are still my family, just like you, but it is time for me to go back with them.” 
You look around at all the eyes focused on you, making you uneasy. You try to stay focused on the kids, they have a lot less judgement in their eyes, “This is very hard for me, I would love to stay here with all of you. It’s just this isn’t my place, I’m meant to be an Avenger. Hopefully none of you are mad or disappointed that I am leaving, I’m heartbroken I have to do this. I hope we can still be friends, maybe I can come visit.” You turn to your team, “Maybe we can all visit.” 
The kids start to cheer, thinking that the Avengers visiting can be a normal occurrence. You finish up, “Now I think its getting late, maybe tomorrow, if its okay with your parents, you guys can hangout and play some games with the real Avengers?” 
The excitement from the kids is overwhelming. You stand back up to be with your team. Scanning the crowd no one looks to angry with you. Once everyone leaves, you notice one person in the crowd waiting to talk to you. Nina. 
Thankfully she isn’t mad, just a little annoyed you did not tell her earlier. She thought you were pretty bad ass. Thankfully she also agreed to get your stuff from your house, well old house. That way you can sleep in your clothes and not in Tony’s old hoodie. 
Back at the hotel everyone had a roommate, realizing you didn’t have a home to go back to tonight you made sure they got enough for you. Seeing everyone pair off, Steve and Sam, Tony and Bruce, Thor and Vision, Wanda and Nat, and that only left you and Bucky. At first you weren’t sure if this is a good idea but the two of you do need some time alone. 
You expect it to be awkward at first, like you would have to start from the beginning. To your surprise it is natural, yeah it isn’t exactly like you left it which is understandable. But there is no awkward tension, not knowing how to act, you two are comfortable with one another. Talking and catching up, not getting into too much with Matt, trying not to upset him. Your conversation got deep though, just like it had before, knowing what is going on in each other’s heads. 
That night, as you lie in bed you feel relieved. You don’t have to put on this act of being happy. You can truly be happy now. You two stay on opposite sides of the bed, you did just break off an engagement after all. However, you could still feel his presence and that is all you need.
In the morning, you wake up still on your side of the bed. However there is a Bucky spooning you from behind, arm draped over your side. Looks like someone missed you more than you thought, not being able to keep away for a single night. You could stay like this forever if it were up to you. 
This moment is brought to a screeching halt as someone knocks on your door. You quickly jump out of bed to answer the door. You slowly open the door, expecting Steve or someone from the team. 
You are wrong, your friend Nina pushes her way in carrying what you think is breakfast from the smell of it. “I am not letting you go without having one last meal with me.” She states making her way into her room. Instantly pausing realizing that you are not alone. “Oh, would you like to explain?” She turns to you, a bit embarrassed but needing to know more. 
You just give her a big grin making sure she isn’t mad, she wouldn’t be angry at the situation, just the fact you didn’t mention any of this to her. “It’s not what you think!” 
“Oh girl, then talk.” Without hesitation she continues to the small table in the room, taking out the food and taking a seat. Poor Bucky is still half asleep in bed. You just shake your head as you join her, grabbing your take out box and sitting at the end of the bed. 
Bucky sighs and walks out of the room, most likely to Sam and Steve’s. Nina mouthes the word ‘wow’ after Bucky leaves the room, who of course was shirtless when she first came in. 
“Okay, I completely understand now. Damn girl, he is such an amazing step up from Matt.” You smack her arm playfully, “Does he have any single friends? Oh! How about Captain America? Is he seeing anyone?” 
“He isn’t, but you are on your own there. That man is a mystery when it comes to dating.” You know she is going to try still. Nothing you could do would stop her. 
The two of you eat breakfast as you fill her in on the rest of the details, now having to explain the insanely hot and rugged man in your bed. 
As you guys talk, you know you are going to miss her the most. You had never had a friendship so effortlessly, not even with Nat and Wanda, you guys were best friends from the start. 
The sun was starting to set again. You had an eventful last day, Sam and Tony took some kids flying, you organized sports games where kids could partner with their favorites, group activities, photo opportunities and a big picnic at the end. 
Once everything is clean, you get ready to go. You were the last one off the jet yesterday and today you are the last one on. Bucky is waiting for you by the ramp as you say goodbye to Nina one last time. 
“You can visit whenever you want!” You insist,
“I’ll take you up on that, please don’t forget about me! I expect constant texts and updates with Mr. Muscles over there” She gestures to Bucky. You force out a laugh, she knows something is bothering you and exactly what it is, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he is okay. I’ll talk with him, he is just hurt right now. He will get over this and everything. I promise.” 
Nina pulls you into a hug, “Thank you, I love you.” you whisper into here ear. 
“Come on, we are loosing daylight here!” Tony screams from the jet. 
Pushing her away, you smile and run to Bucky. Taking his hand as you walk into the jet. The two of you sit together, you instantly rest your head on his shoulder. Thinking that this is right. This is how it should be. You might actually deserve to have this happiness back. 
Permanent tag list: @saturn-aka-six @spiderlingsweb
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forbidden-phff · 8 years ago
Text
Chapter One
A/N: Hello all, this is a small introductory chapter to a new fanfic I’m writing. I expect this idea has been done before, and I apologise if it has, but I just really wanted to write a fanfic about Harry having an affair with a married woman. With that said, enjoy xx
It was sunny when Harry first met Ellie.
He was stood on the balcony, lounging on the barrier in his pin-striped trousers, hands in his pockets pushing back the tails to his suit jacket. His eyes were closed, his skin absorbing and enjoying the sunlight as it bathed him. Beside him, his brother William chatted animatedly to a friend, Matthew. Harry blocked out their conversation – while the races weren’t on, neither was he.
“I wonder where he is,” William was saying, and the confusion in his voice caught Harry’s attention. He opened one eye to see his brother craning his neck.
“Who you looking for?” he mumbled, closing both eyes again.
William huffed. “John Beckett. Remember? I told you on Saturday! John’s moving back here from Italy.”
“Oh yeah.” Harry vaguely recalled his brother saying something of the sort. He was too disinterested to try and jog his own memory.
“He said he was definitely coming,” Matthew was saying. “I mean, maybe he had to cancel? I swear they only arrived back yesterday, wasn’t it?”
“I think it was the day before,” William said. “I hope he turns up, I haven’t seen him in ages.”
“Oh, we had such a good time when we went out there for Arthur’s stag weekend, didn’t we?” Matthew said, a grin in his tone. “Damn, I’m glad he’s moved back.”
“Me too, I’ve actually missed having his stupid face around,” William agreed, and they both laughed. “Of course, he’s married now.”
“I know, but we all are. Shouldn’t change much, should it?”
“There’ll be no weekends away at Highgrove, though,” William said, chuckling. “Well, I suppose I could always ask Pa if we really needed a night off.”
Again, there was laughter. Harry sighed, turning his back on them and leaning over the balcony, looking down at the people below. When was the next race starting, he was tired of all this socializing?! He squinted out over the racetrack, the sun now in his eyes. He should probably move back a bit, into the shade, before he could get burnt.
“Yes, there he is!” Matthew exclaimed behind him.
“Beckett!” William cried out, and the two men laughed almost raucously. Harry, amused to hear his brother sounding like a teenager again, turned to see the newcomers.
He recognized John Beckett. Putting a face to a name reminded Harry that John had been one of William’s best friends at Eton. Along with Matthew and a few other guys, they had spent every weekend together. Harry had always been too young for them at that point – he’d never been friends with John. But now he remembered when John had moved to Italy with his girlfriend. It had been quite a few years ago, and he’d moved to start breeding this rare breed of Italian racehorses. Harry recalled William being devastated that he was leaving.
And now Harry remembered how happy William had been when he’d told him that John would be moving back from Italy.
John was beaming at his old friends, arms open wide, and William pulled him into a hug, the two of them repeating how good it was to see each other, before John swapped William for Matthew, clapping him on the back. Harry watched the exchange, before moving to turn away. As he did so, his eyes fell on the woman accompanying John.
Damn, it was like a kick to the gut – she was gorgeous. She was small, petite, in a classy dress that highlighted every inch of her slender curves. She had long auburn hair, not ginger like Harry’s but a deep rich red, the colour of leaves in the autumn. Her skin was pale and smooth, and her face was thin, with dark lipstick highlighting her smile as she watched her husband greet his friends. She tipped her head slightly to the side – she was wearing a large-brimmed hat that shielded her face from the sun.
As though sensing his attention, her gaze flickered to Harry. Without thinking, he immediately looked away, at the potted plant that stood to her right, and he felt a blush creeping up his neck.
“Ellie, darling, you remember William and Matthew?” John said, holding out an arm to welcome her into their midst, and at those words Harry thought it safe to look at her once more.
She shook William’s hand, dipping into a slight curtsey which he instantly waved off, and her smile was sincere as she met Matthew. Then her eyes flickered curiously to Harry.
“Oh, this is my brother, Harry,” William said, and Harry had no choice but to fully turn round to greet the two of them, straightening up to his full 6ft 2 inches and turning his back on the racecourse. “John, you remember Harry, right?”
“Of course,” John said, beaming and stepping forward to shake his hand. “How are you, Harry?”
“I’m very well, thank you,” Harry said politely, and he broke into his default charming smile as Ellie held out her own hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“And you,” she said, her voice soft, musical almost. She smiled, and it met her green eyes as he shook her hand. He would’ve been over-exaggerating if he said he felt electricity flow between their skin, because he didn’t, but he felt how soft her skin was and was overcome with the desire to feel more of it. Swallowing that feeling, he broke their linked hands and stepped away, smiling to cover it up, and his back met the balcony, jolting his heart in surprise.
“Oh, good, looks like the next race is starting!” John said. “Darling, let me show you which horse I’ve got money on.” He gently pulled her to the edge of the balcony and started pointing with a hand, his other resting on the small of her back, very close to her backside. Harry decided that if he stayed much longer he’d regret it, and bid goodbye to William, saying he was going to get a drink.
“But you’ll miss the race,” William said. Harry shrugged, not caring.
He hoped that John and Ellie would’ve gone by the time he got back, but to no such luck. They were still stood with William and Matthew, although they’d migrated into the shade. From the sound of it, John was describing an exciting game of polo he’d played in Italy. Oh yes, Harry thought, as he remembered that John was the friend of William’s who also liked to play polo.
Harry returned to them, but stayed close to the barrier of the balcony, squinting out over the field as the next group of horses prepared to race. He ignored the lively sounds of conversation coming from behind him, and was so lost in his own thoughts that Ellie’s voice caught him off guard, coming from right beside him.
“Do you have money on any of those horses?” she asked politely.
He jumped, startled, but was determined to act cool. “No, I’m just here to watch,” he said. “You?”
“My husband does,” she said, looking out, then smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “I don’t know which one though.”
He chuckled. “I prefer watching the technique, I’m not a gambler myself.”
“Do you race?”
“No, but I like to ride them,” he said. “I play polo throughout the summer.”
“Oh, where do you play? Professionally?”
He barked a laugh. “No, just at the grounds in Gloucestershire. William and I play there.”
“That’s where John’s just registered,” she said. “He loves polo too, I swear he taught some of our Italian neighbours how to play.”
“Oh yeah, Italy, I heard. How was that?”
She shrugged, looking like there was more to it than she was letting on. “Okay. It was lovely there, but we were never really immersed in the culture. John was too passionate about his business, and we didn’t learn the language. We even sent the kids to an English school.”
His eyebrows rose, intrigued without even noticing. “Kids?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling. “Twins. Boy and a girl. James and Lily. They’re four.”
“Congratulations, I guess,” he said, not really knowing what to say. “Oh actually, now you say that, I think I remember William flying out to Italy for the christening.”
Ellie laughed lightly. “Yeah, he’s one of the godfathers.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Harry didn’t know what to say, part of him didn’t want to speak to her anymore and fuel the attraction that he was feeling right now, and the other half never wanted to stop speaking to this gorgeous lady. “Are you happy to be home, in England?”
“Yeah, I never wanted to move away really,” she said, then glanced back over at John. “But he wanted to.”
“Surely you had a choice,” Harry said gently.
“I did,” she said, then her green eyes were on his face once more. “I chose to be with him, so…”
“Ellie, darling, come and tell the guys about that little restaurant we went to up in the hills,” John said then, his loud voice booming over. Harry glanced back at John, then smiled at Ellie.
“I’m sure we’ll see each other again,” he said, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“Yes, at polo,” she said, smiling too. “Nice to meet you,” she added, as she made her way back over to her husband.
“You too,” Harry murmured, watching her walk away, and then his eyes flickered to John. John was staring at him, watching him watch his wife, and Harry mustered a casual smile, trying to look innocent, before turning back to the racecourse.
He was being stupid, he just needed to go home and never see Ellie again and these feelings would go away. It was probably because he was just horny, he hadn’t been with a girl since he and Cressida broke up.
Eventually Harry disappeared to go to the bathroom, and when he returned John and Ellie had gone home.
“Do you remember John?” William asked Harry in the car on the journey back to Kensington Palace.
“Vaguely,” Harry said. “I remember playing polo with him.”
“Yeah, he was one of my best friends.”
“I don’t remember Ellie.”
“No, they got married in Italy,” William said. “I’d only met her a few times before they moved. It always surprised me – they weren’t together too long before they moved away.”
“She’s…very nice,” Harry said. “I was talking to her earlier.”
“Yeah, she’s very sweet,” William said. “She was always very nice to me whenever I went over to see them. John adores her.”
Harry felt jealousy begin to claw at his insides, and he tried to ignore it. “Does he?” he asked politely.
“Definitely, he’s always going on about her,” William said. “He likes showing her off to his friends.”
“Hmm.” That sounded like an odd thing for a husband to do, in Harry’s mind, but he dismissed it. He probably wouldn’t see Ellie again, not for a long time. Besides, these feelings would be gone by the time he arrived back at his apartment.
Right?
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