#but man i really don't know how anyone is accomplishing it with 10 or less staircases

[scribbling-waffle]

How in the world do people get to floor 100 of the skull cavern without staircases? The highest (lowest?) I can get without staircases is somewhere around 60, and that's if I take the bus the second it's available (10:10am) and stay until 1:30-1:40 am when I warp totem myself home. Maybe if I got warp totems to take me to the desert the second I wake up...?

[talturing]

Losing Weight at 60

Hey, I lost some weight so I have to say something

I've done some things in my life that I am proud of and some that I am not-so-proud. But fewer are those that impressed me after the fact; and losing weight is something I have done before but to lose weight, again, at 60 years old, in the way I did, and the amount I did, well I am impressed with myself. It won't be something that anyone would ever remember me for. On the surface it is not all that impressive especially in a world where you can find a thousand stories of people who went from 400 pounds, sky-high blood pressure and barely able to stand; then, one year later, running marathons and looking like a fitness model. But being impressed, about anything, has something to do with understanding the associated difficulties and although I am not now participating in extreme sports and my physical looks would not turn your head, I think impressed is the appropriate word.

Why blog about it? As usual, one blogs to share and hopefully to help or aid someone else's thinking or endeavors. But, so you know, my story is not very dramatic, without alot of tears, joyful jumping-in-the-air or life-changing transformations and breakthroughs. I remain, pretty much, the same person I was but, as I said, I am both happy and impressed with my accomplishments. Don't get me too wrong, losing weight, for everyone, is a frustrating, difficult thing and many people blame themselves when they are not successful. But the way I see it, all significant goals are the similar; we aspire, we dream, we try and very often we do not succeed, whether it has to do with launching a successful business, finding a life partner, raising children or even balancing our check books. Somehow, our weight is measured differently, perhaps because almost all of us were content with our weight for the first XX years of our lives and then we lost it. Maybe it's like losing your keys - you know you had it once so it's infuriating that now its gone. How often do you find someone beating themselves up because they aren't as athletic as they "used to be" or as healthy as the "used to be" or as happy as they "used to be". Adulthood and aging brings challenges and most of all change.

Okay, but let me get to it. First just a little background (I promise): I am a 60 year-old man (strange to see me write that) and growing up I was mildly athletic but introverted. I weighted about 150 lbs in high school and that number grew to 220 lbs by the time I was 40. By that time I was married and my wife did all the cooking. A few times since then, I have been able to lose 10-20 pounds but eventually gaining it back. I have joined gyms on and off and have been fairly healthy except for recurring back pain. In this last attempt (I am not so naive to think there will be never be another), I went from about 210 pounds to currently 172 pounds and my goal was 180.

But it didn't happen fast. In the end, it took about 2 years: an average of less than 2 pounds a month. Not a week, a MONTH. It wasn't easy, it was frustrating and I took mild breaks. That doesn't mean that I gave up, just that there might be a week or two where I dropped my routine. The good new, is that toward the end, to my surprise, it got easier and the weight came off faster than before. This is important. Even doing the right things and following my routine, it was still very slow at the start and it was easy to get frustrated and I was often frustrated.

Tip #1 - you have to be in it to win it. That doesn't mean that I was going crazy with exercise or dieting or anything like that. It means that I thought about my routine every day. Even on days when I didn't follow my routine. Still, I thought about it, I reminded myself of my goals, I took the time to be frustrated or to be encouraged or simply to be determined to keep trying. Encouragement from others is probably very important but in my case I didn't have that. I did not really talk about it with others, but that's just me.

Tip #2 - don't go crazy. Set some reasonable expectations. I did not follow any diet. I started to exercise regularly (3-4 times a week) and I watched what I ate. I did not restrict myself from anything but I started to keep to the foods I really enjoyed and ate less of the other stuff. This might be why it was so slow but again it was better to set reasonable expectations than to see great results. I thought about what I was eating. I ignored things that I did not like and started to only eat things I loved especially when it came to fast food or dessert.

Tip #3 - control what you eat. A better way to say that: DON'T LET OTHERS TELL YOU WHAT TO EAT OR DRINK. Yes, they love you and care about you but people just don't take other people's weight loss seriously enough. This is really important. You may not always make the best choices but get used to thinking about what you eat, what snacks you choose, and what you order off the menu. Don't let others bring you drinks and ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR PORTION SIZE! That doesn't mean small portions, it means you are the person who decides how much to put on your plate. Again, if you are going to have a banana split, it should be because you decided that is what you want. Not because your friend decided not to eat theirs and pushed it to you. Don't let people use "wasting food" as a reason why you should eat it. This is hard for people and it will be for you too but you'll get used to it. Sometimes people will just bring you fast food or a desert as a present/surprise. Yes, that was nice of them but don't allow it. As a rule, I now never accept food as a gift. If I think they won't handle it well, then I accept the gift and throw it out later (yes, I will throw it out). As a rule, I will always reject these 'gifts' even if it is exactly as I want. Now, my friends and family are used to it.

Tip #4 - track your weight. I really hate weighing myself and I don't do it every day but aim for once a week. Yes, it SUCKS, sometimes you will be down and many times you won't. Just weight yourself, write it down and move on. In the beginning, it will just go up and down with only a slow gradual drop. Be persistent. I used a weight loss app. It is very simple, I enter a date and a weight and it gives me a graph and some stats. See below I was down 2 lbs for the month, only 0.7 lbs for that week. Those are numbers you won't see on television but look at the total: down 36 lbs over 2 years.

[fragiledewdrop]

Okay, this post suddenly came to my mind earlier today and I got time, so why not?

To me the answer is and always will be "I watched you rake leaves".

Obviously I would like for all of them to be revealed, and I have detailed fics about it in my head (plus the many delicious ones I have read), but that one...that, I suspect , will never stop destroying me.

Because it is the one that would fundamentally change Dean's perception of Cas and, as a consequence, of his own worth.

See, as much as I love it when they discuss the crypt scene, I feel that it doesn't really change the way Dean sees Cas. He already knows Naomi brainwashed him. The realization that she did it by making him kill copies of himself would disclose how much Castiel has suffered, and how much Dean -Dean specifically, not all of humanity- matters to him. Both are very, very good things. Except.

Except Dean knows that Cas has suffered, even if he doesn't know the specifics, and knows, on a fundamental level, that he is the most important person in Cas's life. He might not be fully honest with himself as to exactly why he matters this much to Cas, but he is aware he does, especially after the whole "giving up an army for one guy" thing and the "everyone except me" speech. He would see the broken connection as proof that Cas loves, but that he loves in a way that can be directly used against him. A weakness. The very reason why they cannot be honest about their feelings: their enemies would use them against them. And knowing of all the copies of Dean Cas killed would be meaningful, but I think it would ultimately just make Dean feel guilty, and he couldn'tdo anything to assuage that guilt.

"There's things, there's people, feelings" is a capital M Moment, for sure, but the revelation of it can be more or less accomplished by your run of the mill love confession. More or less, mind you. I don't mean to cheapen it, but if I have to compare these unresolved points, I personally feel it's the weakest.

The way Dean is when Cas dies is a strong contender, because the revelation would both help Dean with his grief and make Cas understand that he is not worthless. I adore it in fics.

Good, stellar, 10/10, would be the winner if it weren't for the fact that "I watched you rake leaves" is in the race.

Because "I watched you rake leaves" would fundamentally reconfigure the way Dean thinks of Cas's first and greatest betrayal, a betrayal that has coloured Cas's actions and Dean's perception of them ever since then.

In "The Man Who Would Be King" Dean was angry with Cas because he acted alone, he went behind his back and trusted Crowley above him, but it turns out that that was not at all what Cas was trying to do. It turns out Cas did think of going to him for help. It turns out that when he said "I am doing this for you, Dean. I am doing this because of you", he was being sincere. It was not just a line he was feeding Dean to convince me to back him.

AND NOT ONLY THAT.

It would show that Cas loves him in a way nobody has loved him before. This is the main reason I would choose it above the crypt scene: other people have died for Dean (hello John), suffered for him, overcome angelic mind control for him (Sam at Stull, anyone?). Nobody, however, has ever loved him enough to protect his happiness from the dangers of the world. Nobody has ever kept the monsters in the dark away from him. John certainly hasn't. Sam hasn't, and that's not a criticism. It's simply not Sam's role to care about Dean like that. Sam loves him more than anyone, would die in heartbeat for him, defeat the devil for him, but he won't try to keep the knowledge that the devil's out there from impacting Dean's life. Because that's what Dean does for him. Because it's Dean that protects, Dean that shelters, Dean that keeps the monsters at bay. Because in their relationship, Dean has been and in some way always will be the parent.

Cas, however.

Cas needed his help. He needed Dean to stop another apocalypse. It would have made things a lot easier for him to just tell Dean about Raphael. Yet he didn't. He chose to shelter Dean from the dark. Chose to protect him. He practically damned himself out of the same kind of love that damned Dean. It is the same love Dean is scared of in himself,because while it is entirely selfless, It is also selfish. It's the love that says "the happiness of my beloved is worth more to me than my own soul". Not his life, mind. Not even his safety, not really. His happiness.

This revelation would be earth-shatterring to Dean even if he already knew Cas loved him. Even in a post 15x18 au, this would turn his world on its axis in a way the other revelations wouldn't. Especially because, if Cas was already in love with him back then, it means that he not only kept Dean out of the fight, but he very consciously let him be happy with someone else. Dean wanted Lisa, and Cas could have taken him away from her in a moment without guilt. It would have been for the sake of the world,after all. But he didn't. He didn't.

The fact that Dean wasn't really happy at the time is beside the point. Cas thought he was.

It all boils down to this: "I watched you rake leaves" means " I loved you so much that I let you go and at the same time tried to keep the darkness from your door even if it meant making a deal with the devil. Even if you wouldn't have known it. Even if you would have hated me for it."

It means that Cas loves in the same beautiful, bitter way Dean does. In the way Dean thinks nobody could ever love him.

And that is why that quote always has me on the brink of tears.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

if y’all could pick ONE unresolved DeanCas moment to be revealed, between the following, which would you pick?

I watched you rake leaves

What broke the connection

The hundreds of killed Dean's to brainwash Castiel

There's things, people, I want to experience differently than I have before

Every time Dean was inconsolable while Cas was gone

[gothoffspring]

This is exactly where you'll find Riley Burns every evening. In a lawn chair. "it's my 'fancy dancy' lawn chair", he passionately professes. He is a few beers in and feeling all the better for it. "Please don't pixelate them!" he exclaims. I ask for some clarity. "my mermaid tattoo. I hate censorship. And I love titties." I ask him to tell me a bit about himself and he has no hesitation in beginning to tell me his life story. He's definitely a talker.

"That rinky dink trailer you passed on your way here? I was born right on the floor. Thank god it wasn't on the carpet, nice goin' ma! She left soon after. Prolly cuz she ruined the gotdamn linoleum and grammy was PISSED." Riley was raised by his grandmother, who in his words, "was simultaneously the sweetest and most grumpy woman imaginable". While extremely loving towards him, she was also a bit naïve and preoccupied with her weekly bingo meets and book club.

Riley mostly had free reign of Strangerville as he grew older, which ended up getting him into some sticky situations and more than one mugshot before the age of 21. "Y'know, felons are a really valuable voting base... we all have a lot of conviction! Heh. That was bad, m'sorry." If you let him, he will rattle off every single interaction he has ever had with law enforcement, grinning from ear to ear the entire time. He likes to say he is a 'reformed man', despite still openly smoking spliffs in his front yard. "they could give a shit less about my spliffs, all the damn things I've done in this town.."

In his late 30's now, Riley has decided he's ready to settle down and live out the simple life he's always imagined. "I need me a lil' partner to settle down with, and we'll live the good life together right here. I'm a simple man at heart, all I really want is someone to love my dumb ass! I may be a lil' rough around the edges, but I'll treat my honey right. I have three gold teeth, y'know. I'd happily take a few out to go and buy a wedding ring. Do you happen to know anyone?.."

I ask him for some parting words. "When you live the life that I've lived, you really need some time and space to just completely experience YOURSELF, y'know? It goes by so quick, sometimes I wonder if I'll even have the time to wipe my damn ass. Well, here's to new beginnings and big laughs!" Riley then cheers with me, hands me a 'spliff for the road', and tells me to get the fuck off his property please.

Welcome to Living a Nightmare! This is a brand new Nightmare Legacy Challenge by yours truly. We are following these rules (story mode) by @matchacake. Riley Burns is our loving founder, a bit confused but ready to conquer whatever comes his way. How fast can we reach ten generations with our lifespan on short, and will Riley's lively personality live on through his descendants?

Riley's goals are to complete his aspiration before he becomes an elder, max two skills, have at least one child, and reach level 10 of his career. Will Riley be able to accomplish all of his goals and live a fulfilled life? Stay tuned to find out!

[ksqwildwest]

24. Hugging with a height difference.

I don't know if there is a big height difference between George and The Priest but I like to think so.

The Priest is having a bad day and George tries to comfort him by giving him a hug. It is a bit awkward but it helps.

Thank you for the ask!

Absolutely! I imagine George being able easily climb into the rafters of the church (which I imagine to be 12-15 ish feet off the ground) simply by reaching up with his arms. George is probably like 9-10 ish feet tall.

-----------

"Hey."

George watches from the rafters as the Priest practically falls out of his chair from his voice. Even with the mask, George can feel the glare coming from him. He just gives a toothy smile that would make anyone else in town shiver in fear. The Priest just sighs.

The Priest growled out, "Do you want something? I'm reading the Bible. Again."

George stayed silent as he watched his human the Priest turn back to the book and continue to reread the same page over and over again. He tsked in disappointment. How did he manage to get a crush on get summoned by the one human that reread the Bible over and over again when frustrated? He really should get him something more interesting for him to read. Something less holy, even if it didn't hurt him.

He could sense the bottled up anger and frustration from so many little things coming from the Priest. He could feel that little itch in the back of his mind telling him to make a deal. Point out every little thing he could help out with in return for whatever the other was willing to give up. He brushed it off.

Instead he thought back to some advice he'd gotten from the multi-colored, soul-bearing sheriff.

"Hugs are always nice," Karl rambled to him during one of their several 'coversations' during George's first week in town, "They're warm and comforting! Always great after a bad day."

George slowly and silently lowered himself down from the rafters. His eyes never leaving the back of the Priest's head. He carefully avoided every squeaky floorboard as he approached the chair.

The Priest had no time to react as he was lifted out of his chair and into the air. A scream got caught in his throat as he felt himself get pulled back into something solid. He barely managed to compose himself and recognize the long pointed claws holding him before George fell back to lie on the ground.

"George? What the fuck! What are you doing?" The Priest questioned the strange behavior. Thinking back, he'd never actually had the demon touch him before and to suddenly get picked up and held like some child's toy was slightly unnerving for him.

George hummed in response and lightly pressed the Priest into his chest. He could feel the Priest's emotions seemingly melt from frustration to relaxation but there was still some resistance. Emotional resistance.

"Humans like hugs." He explained simply. Because telling him that this was the only other way he knew how to help other than make a deal with him seemed like a bit too much for the moment.

The Priest sighed a long suffered sigh. The sigh of a man who had accepted his fate. He relaxed into his chest and within minutes, George could hear soft snores coming from his human. Mission accomplished.

---------------

A special thanks to @inkytrinket-irii for helping to motivate me when I was having trouble writing this! I wrote the rest in under an hour (with some snack breaks sprinkled in) after your encouraging words!

I have to say, I'm not the biggest DNF fan so I'm not the most familiar with their dynamic. I'm much more familiar with Karlnapity, but thankfully this is an AU so I can come up with my own dynamic!

[plasticnightmaredoll]

The full-length trailer for "Doom Eternal: The Ancient Gods Part 2" DLC has been released and

AHHDBGHGAHGFFF!!!!!!

😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩😲😲😲😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😁😁😁

id Software, why are you giving the fans what they want?!

Why does this look SO DAMN GOOD? 😫😫😫😫

I don't know if anything should be this epic?

But "The Ancient Gods Part 2" looks like iconic af already.

And with that, I have some thoughts!

My experience with "The Ancient Gods" and Doom's reboot game series

While I have played "Doom Eternal" and "Doom" 2016 a few times each, I haven't played "The Ancient Gods Part 1" yet. I do know some of the key plot points, though, namely the Dark Lord regaining his body so the Doom Slayer can kill him once and for all. I just haven't had the time, energy, or patience to play the DLC, mostly because my current job is kicking my ass, I'm super stressed, and I feel like I'm rushed on my days off. I don't have much time after work to do anything save for exercise (on a couple days), showering, and eating. It's not prime time for gaming. At all.

Also, I have been kind of hooked on survival horror games as that is technically my favorite genre of games.

I'll play "The Ancient Gods," both parts, at some point in the near future, but not sure exactly when.

The end?

Something I noticed in the trailer is it seems to indicate that "The Ancient Gods" is the conclusion to the Doom reboot story.

But that can't be right, can it? As far as I know, the Doom reboot games have done very well, and, also as far as I know, id Software hasn't pissed off a good chunk of their fanbase by doing dumb shit (like NRS and MK11)

I'm guessing this isn't truly the end. I mean, at the end of "Doom Eternal," it was said that the Doom Slayer's fight is well....eternal. And can you really destroy hell? Banish it for good? I have my doubts 🤔

They could do spin-offs, too, I suppose, since they have created a Doom Universe for the first time ever. It's a thought 🤷‍♀️

And, uh, id Software may respect their fans and their creation, but they in business to make money, and if Doom is bringing in the cash then the logical thing to do is...make more Doom. 💲💲💲💲

The Dark Lord is here!

Why the hell is this bitch hiding inside a robotic armored suit???

Get the fuck out of there and fight me like a (demon) man!

But seriously, this is the Dark Lord of Hell, so why is he not fighting the Slayer one on one WITHOUT the robotic armored suit????

HE SCARED OF THE SLAYER?

HE WEENIE?

I can't say I'm very intimidated by the guy....not after seeing this. Doesn't mean I think the game is going to be bad. I think it's hilarious that the Dark Lord is appearing in battle like this.

Lord of the Rings?!

I can't be the only one who thought of "Lord of the Rings" here.

Asgard?

This reminds me of the Bifrost Bridge and Asgard in general. I mean, it's a place that seems to be floating somewhere with waterfalls running over the edge into the air below.

I am MCU Trash and ...

The final battle for "The Ancient Gods Part 2" reminds me of the final battle in "Avengers: Endgame."

I MEAN, AM I WRONG?

Now, I know what some might be thinking:

"But this is so derivative! id Software just copied 'Endgame's' epic battle instead of making up their own 😑"

Well, here's how I see it:

Marvel hasn't placed a copyright/trademark on "Endgame's" final battle, so if anyone wants to style a fight/battle based on it, it's not illegal.

People copy each other's works all the time. Well, it's not like people copy stuff ALL the time. Sometimes, a creative idea references a previous creative idea. Writings inspired by other writings, art inspired by other art, movies inspired by other movies, songs inspired by other songs...So, this is nothing new.

If id Software wanted to have an epic final battle against the forces of Hell, it makes sense that, instead of making the Doom Slayer do EVERYTHING, there would be forces coming to fight alongside him. I'm sure plenty of beings have beef with Hell, and when someone stands up to fight against it, then it would be time to rally the troops to join the guy and kick some goddamn ass. I can't think of any vastly different ways to style/choreograph this fight. I mean, yeah, id Software could have been a little less obvious with their references/inspiration, but, I don't think it's a big deal.

If you're going to make a fictional epic battle modeled after another fictional epic battle, then "Avengers: Endgame's" final battle IS that battle.

I know some people see the MCU as trash, but I strongly disagree. I have enjoyed the vast majority of it so far, and am excited to see more.

Some people think "Endgame" is overrated and doesn't deserve to be in the top 5 highest-grossing films. Well, that's just your opinion, Guys, and I disagree with you. 🤷‍♀️ It's a 3-hour movie that feels more like 2-2.5 hours, which is an accomplishment in and of itself! I have seen movies 2 hours long that felt 10 hours long -- and not in a good way. I have seen movies 3 hours long that felt like 3 fucking hours. So, I think "Endgame" deserves some credit here.

Some think "Avatar" and "Titanic" are more worthy, especially since they have won various awards, including Oscars, and "Endgame" didn't win much. Ok, so, the Oscars are fucking bullshit anymore, just political garbage and barely anything to do with quality or talent. Winning awards doesn't always mean the world, either. "Avatar" and "Titanic" are both HIGHLY overrated in my opinion. Amazing visual effects, terrible stories. I won't go into detail because y'all wouldn't like my thoughts anyway.

"The Ancient Gods Part 2" has a fucking amazing final battle and I don't care what anyone says! It's DOOM all the way to the max! I mean, we're taking part in a massive assault on Hell for the first time in the Doom franchise. How is that NOT awesome?

The release date is what?!

As far as I know, id Software didn't advertise the release date for "The Ancient Gods Part 2" until the official full-length trailer was released on March 17th.

And we find out in said trailer that this DLC is coming out TOMORROW.

MARCH 18th.

WHAT OMG AJJHSAHAahgAHFAF?! 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

How....is id Software allowed to be this fucking LEGENDARY?

Final Thoughts

I really hope this isn't the end for the Doom reboot series. I mean, they took the time to build a little universe in Doom Eternal, so it seems like a real shame to end the story now.

I can't get over the final battle between Hell and... The Forces of Good? Not sure what else to call them. But it's pretty much what I would expect of such a thing in a Doom game. It's grand, epic, cinematic, awesome, incredible, insane, brutal, chaotic, and pure carnage.

I seriously wonder how "The Ancient Gods Part 2" will end.....will there be a teaser/hint at future installments?

[blarrghe]

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Please? 💜

Ahhhh I put off answering this ask because I got it like, one day before posting a chapter that had some dialogue in it I was particularly proud of, and then I forgot!! So, the chapter was Chapter 10 of Matchsies and the dialogue was this incredibly difficult to write like, talk about identities?? I am proud of it because it's the first time I've just gone and put that shit into fic and I think it did a good job of accomplishing several things, like worldbuilding, establishing character, and also setting up a bit of interesting internal conflict and stuff which I will get into some more (from Dorian's side...) soon. ish. soonish. promise. It was also tough to balance becausue I had a lot I wanted to say and establish but I wanted it to feel really real, and I think it worked out! Here is some of that, but really most of this chapter was Deep Conversation and I'm quite proud of the whole thing. Under a cut because snippet is longish.

Taren chuckled, “we can just do this informally, you know,” he reminded him, “I like guys, historically. But really I just...try to get to know people, I guess,” he leaned back, explaining with a casual shrug. It wasn’t just the elfroot that made this easy, more that something about Dorian and his careful curiosity was oddly endearing. It was probably selfish to enjoy the high ground where Dorian tended to stutter, but he liked those glimpses of someone real and conflicted and interesting and… probably very troubled, like Bull had said. Probably not someone he should be investing the kind of thought and care into that he against all his better judgement already was. “I'd never met anyone who wasn't one thing or another before Rivain, and there the views on everything were so different, and I don’t know, personally I think it'd be hard not to fall in love with the literal embodiment of hope, but maybe that's me.”

He heard a slight, dry laugh and a mutter of something he couldn’t make out.

“What?”

“The Literal Embodiment of Hope?”

“Rivaini Seers bond with spirits, they were Hope,” he explained, “I mean, the presence of a spirit is kind of… shit, what do you call —” he flipped through a few words, fumbling aloud; Elvhen first, then a couple in Dalish-Rivaini that fit more closely — “like there but… sometimes less.”

“Ephemeral?” Dorian suggested.

“Yeah, yes. Or flowing — fluid. They were an elf too, an elf more, sometimes. It’s… complicated.”

“I’ve heard of that,” Dorian excitedly got comfortable again, and for several minutes he just asked questions about the magic of it all. Taren did his best to explain some of what he knew, the rituals used to call upon spirits for guidance, the way that a link could be set between matching spirits, or so the Rivaini believed, and how a select few would keep their spirits housed for their entire lives, sharing a burden and shaping the world towards that one spiritual purpose.

“How does all that effect, I mean, a relationship , and… all the rest.”

Taren chuckled. Again, the man who proposed blow jobs in parks as a casual greeting (and made good on such promises, too. Very good.) was struggling to ask him direct questions about sex. The look on his face at Taren’s laughter was one of flushed annoyance, but he took another inhale of root smoke and then shrugged into laughing along.

“Yes, sex,” he clarified, through his laugh, “how does one have sex with someone...posessed?”

Taren shook his head, “not possessed. The Dalish in Rivain don’t see spirits that way, they’d say we’re meant to have relationships with them — not sexually but, well, spiritually , I guess. It’s considered an honour to take that to its extreme conclusion, to really bond that way. There’s a special place in the clan for it. It’s said that there’s a clarity of sight that seeing through the eyes of a spirit is supposed to grant, so all important decisions have to run past the Seer,” he explained, “but as for how things worked, physically, it’s not so different.” Taren smirked, “I mean, they were one person, together, kind of. There’s a Dalish-Rivaini word,” he shrugged, “ sa’him. Which means, basically, having more than one spirit , but it doesn’t always mean magically connecting to spirits, so I think the gender suff was separate, but also not totally, you know?” Now he frowned to himself, struggling against a lacking vocabulary and a sudden nervousness to even attempt the translation. “I can’t...it’s so hard to explain without the words. It was just different,” he went through them as best he could, words defining both gender and relationships and the roles their identities covered, but the web of it was harder to explain than he remembered life being. There was an overlap, an assumption that what you were tied into your romantic life because the expectations came all packaged together. “It all sort of interelates, spiritually and physically as well as your role in the clan,” he went on.

“So what did that make you, bonded to the clan’s leader and a spirit?”

“We weren’t bonded, just… it’s a kind of love. What that meant for me though, my role in the clan , that was more complicated. I’m… I was a First, to clan Lavellan. That mattered in Rivain.”

“That’s to be in line for leadership, isn’t it? A Keeper’s apprentice?”

“Yeah.”

Dorian’s emotions flipped wildly; concern, intrigue, apprehension, pity. Taren frowned, and concentrated on smoothing out his own unwelcome tugs of feeling with more smoke and a push at the strength of his spell: warmth, light, peace.

“So I don’t know how many words there are for it,” he flipped back to the easier subject matter again: sex. “But in Ferelden terms I think I’m just… pretty gay.”

“Oh, so now you’re the Pretty Gay too, is it?” Dorian mused teasingly back.

“Ha ha,” he replied. “Not next to you.”

“Oh, that was awful,” Dorian laughed, “now you’re catching on.” He paused for a moment, “so just men and Hope?”

“I guess. I don't… I don’t really think about it like that. In Elvhen, we talk about love in three terms; spiritual, physical, and then there’s a word for where those two meet, but the language is more… flexible,” he was struggling again, stuttering again, as Dorian leaned in with continued intrigue, “so I guess to me it’s not always that simple. Sometimes it feels like bullshit, like I have to translate everything through this lens that — there isn’t even a different word for human, and then, it’s like, well what the fuck am I? I’m not sure I fit the words anywhere so, you know, fuck it.”

[pawelpiotrowski]

90% of programming jobs are in creating Line of Business software: Economics 101: the price for anything (including you) is a function of the supply of it and demand for it.

Software solves business problems.  Software often solves business problems despite being soul-crushingly boring and of minimal technical complexity. (..) It does not matter to the company that the reporting form is the world’s simplest CRUD app, it only matters that it either saves the company costs or generates additional revenue. There are companies which create software which actually gets used by customers, which describes almost everything that you probably think of when you think of software.  It is unlikely that you will work at one unless you work towards making this happen.  Even if you actually work at one, many of the programmers there do not work on customer-facing software, either.

Engineers are hired to create business value, not to program things:  Businesses do things for irrational and political reasons all the time (see below), but in the main they converge on doing things which increase revenue or reduce costs. Status (..) is awarded to people who successfully take credit for doing one of these things.

The person who has decided to bring on one more engineer is not doing it because they love having a geek around the room, they are doing it because adding the geek allows them to complete a project (or projects) which will add revenue or decrease costs.  Producing beautiful software is not a goal.  Solving complex technical problems is not a goal.  Writing bug-free code is not a goal.  Using sexy programming languages is not a goal.  Add revenue.  Reduce costs.  Those are your only goals.

Profit Centers are the part of an organization that bring in the bacon: partners at law firms, sales at enterprise software companies, “masters of the universe” on Wall Street, etc etc.  Cost Centers are, well, everybody else.  You really want to be attached to Profit Centers because it will bring you higher wages, more respect, and greater opportunities for everything of value to you.

Engineers in particular are usually very highly paid Cost Centers. This is what brings us wonderful ideas like outsourcing, which is “Let’s replace really expensive Cost Centers who do some magic which we kinda need but don’t really care about with less expensive Cost Centers in a lower wage country”. (..) Nobody ever outsources Profit Centers.

Don’t call yourself a programmer: “Programmer” sounds like “anomalously high-cost peon who types some mumbo-jumbo into some other mumbo-jumbo.”  If you call yourself a programmer, someone is already working on a way to get you fired.

You know Salesforce, widely perceived among engineers to be a Software as a Services company?  Their motto and sales point is “No Software”, which conveys to their actual customers “You know those programmers you have working on your internal systems?  If you used Salesforce, you could fire half of them and pocket part of the difference in your bonus.” (There’s nothing wrong with this, by the way.  You’re in the business of unemploying people.  If you think that is unfair, go back to school and study something that doesn’t matter.)

Instead, describe yourself by what you have accomplished for previously employers vis-a-vis increasing revenues or reducing costs.  If you have not had the opportunity to do this yet, describe things which suggest you have the ability to increase revenue or reduce costs, or ideas to do so.

Similarly, even though you might think Google sounds like a programmer-friendly company, there are programmers and then there’s the people who are closely tied to 1% improvements in AdWords click-through rates.

Do Java programmers make more money than .NET programmers?  Anyone describing themselves as either a Java programmer or .NET programmer has already lost, because a) they’re a programmer (you’re not, see above) and b) they’re making themselves non-hireable for most programming jobs.

Talented engineers are rare — vastly rarer than opportunities to use them — and it is a seller’s market for talent right now in almost every facet of the field.  Everybody at Matasano uses Ruby.  If you don’t, but are a good engineer, they’ll hire you anyway.  (A good engineer has a track record of — repeat after me — increasing revenue or decreasing costs.)  Much of Fog Creek uses the Microsoft Stack.  I can’t even spell ASP.NET and they’d still hire me.

There are companies with broken HR policies where lack of a buzzword means you won’t be selected.  You don’t want to work for them, but if you really do, you can add the relevant buzzword to your resume. (..)

Co-workers and bosses are not usually your friends: You will spend a lot of time with co-workers.  You may eventually become close friends with some of them (..) You should be a good person to everyone you meet — it is the moral thing to do, and as a sidenote will really help your networking

You radically overestimate the average skill of the competition because of the crowd you hang around with: Many people already successfully employed as senior engineers cannot actually implement FizzBuzz. Key takeaway: you probably are good enough to work at that company you think you’re not good enough for.

Networking: it isn’t just for TCP packets: Networking just means a) meeting people who at some point can do things for you (or vice versa) and b) making a favorable impression on them.

Strive to help people.  It is the right thing to do, and people are keenly aware of who have in the past given them or theirs favors.  If you ever can’t help someone but know someone who can, pass them to the appropriate person with a recommendation.  If you do this right, two people will be happy with you and favorably disposed to helping you out in the future.

Academia is not like the real world: Your GPA largely doesn’t matter (modulo one high profile exception: a multinational advertising firm). (..) it only determines whether your resume gets selected for job interviews.

Your major and minor don’t matter.  Most decisionmakers in industry couldn’t tell the difference between a major in Computer Science and a major in Mathematics if they tried.

In general, big companies pay more (money, benefits, etc) than startups.  Engineers with high perceived value make more than those with low perceived value.  Senior engineers make more than junior engineers.  People working in high-cost areas make more than people in low-cost areas.  People who are skilled in negotiation make more than those who are not.

We have strong cultural training to not ask about salary, ever. This is not universal.  In many cultures, professional contexts are a perfectly appropriate time to discuss money.  (If you were a middle class Japanese man, you could reasonably be expected to reveal your exact salary to a 2nd date, anyone from your soccer club, or the guy who makes your sushi.)

If I were a Marxist academic or a conspiracy theorist, I might think that this bit of middle class American culture was specifically engineered to be in the interests of employers and against the interests of employees.  Prior to a discussion of salary at any particular target employer, you should speak to someone who works there in a similar situation and ask about the salary range for the position.

Engineers are routinely offered a suite of benefits.  It is worth worrying, in the United States, about health insurance (traditionally, you get it and your employer foots most or all of the costs) and your retirement program, which is some variant of “we will match contributions to your 401k up to X% of salary.”  The value of that is easy to calculate: X% of salary.  (It is free money, so always max out your IRA up to the employer match.  Put it in index funds and forget about it for 40 years.)

How do I become better at negotiation?  This could be a post in itself.  Short version: a)  Remember you’re selling the solution to a business need (raise revenue or decrease costs) rather than programming skill or your beautiful face. b)  Negotiate aggressively with appropriate confidence, like the ethical professional you are.  It is what your counterparty is probably doing.  You’re aiming for a mutual beneficial offer, not for saying Yes every time they say something. c)  “What is your previous salary?” is employer-speak for “Please give me reasons to pay you less money.”  Answer appropriately. d)  Always have a counteroffer.  Be comfortable counteroffering around axes you care about other than money.  If they can’t go higher on salary then talk about vacation instead. e)  The only time to ever discuss salary is after you have reached agreement in principle that they will hire you if you can strike a mutually beneficial deal.  This is late in the process after they have invested a lot of time and money in you, specifically, not at the interview.  f)  Read a book.  Many have been written about negotiation.  I like Getting To Yes

Working at a startup, you tend to meet people doing startups. Most of them will not be able to hire you in two years. Working at a large corporation, you tend to meet other people in large corporations in your area.  Many of them either will be able to hire you or will have the ear of someone able to hire you in two years.

Working in a startup is a career path but, more than that, it is a lifestyle choice. This is similar to working in investment banking or academia. Those are three very different lifestyles.  Many people will attempt to sell you those lifestyles as being in your interests, for their own reasons.  If you genuinely would enjoy that lifestyle, go nuts.  If you only enjoy certain bits of it, remember that many things are available a la carte if you really want them.  For example, if you want to work on cutting-edge technology but also want to see your kids at 5:30 PM, you can work on cutting-edge technology at many, many, many megacorps.

Your most important professional skill is communication: Remember engineers are not hired to create programs and how they are hired to create business value? The dominant quality which gets you jobs is the ability to give people the perception that you will create value.  This is not necessarily coextensive with ability to create value.

Some of the best programmers I know are pathologically incapable of carrying on a conversation.  People disproportionately a) wouldn’t want to work with them or b) will underestimate their value-creation ability because they gain insight into that ability through conversation and the person just doesn’t implement that protocol

Conversely, people routinely assume that I am among the best programmers they know entirely because a) there exists observable evidence that I can program and b) I write and speak really, really well.

Communication is a skill. Practice it: you will get better. One key sub-skill is being able to quickly, concisely, and confidently explain how you create value to someone who is not an expert in your field and who does not have a priori reasons to love you.

All business decisions are ultimately made by one or a handful of multi-cellular organisms closely related to chimpanzees, not by rules or by algorithms: People are people.  Social grooming is a really important skill.  People will often back suggestions by friends because they are friends, even when other suggestions might actually be better.  People will often be favoritably disposed to people they have broken bread with.

Actual grooming is at least moderately important, too, because people are hilariously easy to hack by expedients such as dressing appropriately for the situation, maintaining a professional appearance, speaking in a confident tone of voice, etc.  Your business suit will probably cost about as much as a computer monitor.  You only need it once in a blue moon, but when you need it you’ll be really, really, really glad that you have it.

At the end of the day, your life happiness will not be dominated by your career. Either talk to older people or trust the social scientists who have: family, faith, hobbies, etc etc generally swamp career achievements and money in terms of things which actually produce happiness.  Optimize appropriately.  Your career is important, and right now it might seem like the most important thing in your life, but odds are that is not what you’ll believe forever.  Work to live, don’t live to work.

[wordsbykell-blog]

New Years resolutions that don't last more than 2 months, summer tops.

New Years Resolutions: we all have them, we all eventually break them (usually sooner than we planned). This year I have come up with so many of them that I've forgotten half of what I thought of because I never wrote them down. So I decided that I would write all the resolutions I can think of into this post to keep both myself accountable and so can't say I don't remember what they were because I can just look in my blog. 1. Eat healthier (One of the most common resolutions people make and break within a week or two, two months top, but I never said I would stop eating sweets altogether. Just making sure that my healthy food intake outweighs my junk food intake (Oreos and Hershey's kisses are my weakness, ice cream too) instead of having consumed three cookies and one carrot. Making an effort to consume more fruits and veggies this year is crucial, raspberries anyone?). 2. Go to the gym or on a walk at least three times a week (notice how I didn't say an outlandish number like 7, because I know I would break that resolution right away. As the year goes on, that number will go up, but not setting the bar too high but high enough so I actually have to do it (by the way, I've been to the gym twice this year, off to a good start)and not be as lazy). 3. Spend less time on my computer (I think we're all guilty of this from time to time, some more than others. Saying you're only going to spend 10 minutes on something and then 2 hours later your still doing the same thing and nothing else is done. Anyone else ever experience that? Yeah? No? Maybe so? Too scared to admit it? It's okay, we all have those days.). 4. Drink more water and less soda (This one sorta goes with eating healthier one, but since it's liquids, it gets its own number. It's come to my attention that I consume more soda on a daily basis and this resolution is to change my unhealthy intake of soda to h2o. Let's see how long this lasts). 5. Don't let my Starbucks obsession turn into an addiction (people that know me know that I absolutely love Starbucks. The truth is, I really love the flavor of the drinks, coffee doesn't really wake me up or gives energy, it just tastes deliciously wonderful. So I have that on my side, which is good. But my only danger is to not have the urge to taste their scrumptious drinks every single day instead of a few times a week, don't judge me). 6. Procrastinate less when it comes to school (everything else in life sounds fun than actually getting my work done. As a kid, I could make up excuses on why I didn't want to do my homework, or just lie and say I didn't have any. Now as a third year college student, I wish I could say my bad habits have improved. Thankfully, I do do all of my work, unfortunately it doesn't get completed until the end of the week. However, that was my previous experiences with procrastination and this semester will be different!). 7. Read more books (I found my love of reading books again last year and I plan to read many wonderful memoirs and novels this year, if a television show doesn't take up all my free time). 8. Go on more adventures (whether it's to another state or exploring the places around me, seeing the beauty of this world that I don't get to see everyday). 9. Use the words "never" "no" "like" "maybe" "um" "that" "I know, Dad, I know." less (we all have those words that we use over and over again, sometimes you know you keep repeat yourself, other times you don't realize until someone points it out. Well these are my words I use too much and I need to change that, starting with the word "that" right now). 10. Actually listen to what someone has to say instead of thinking about what to say next (ever have a conversation with someone and the whole time the person is speaking, you're coming up with what's going to come out of your mouth next instead of hearing what the other person is saying? Well, you're not alone. Learning that hearing what a person's saying is different then actually listening to them). 11. Talk less about myself (this one I catch myself doing all the time after I walk away from a conversation. One thing I know about myself is that I hate when no one knows what to say or just silence in conversations make me nervous for some reason. Learning to not talk about myself as much). 12. Talk less in general (realizing when to shut up and not ramble on and on about useless information). 13. Take more photographs (besides writing, I really fell in love with taking photos of nature, my friends & family, events that happen in my life, and my pets. I want to continue to capture beautiful moments and stay passionate about wanting to find the beauty in life through taking photos). 14. Be open to anything and everything that comes my way (this one explains itself). 15. Clean my room and actually keep it clean (I can see into my room, and its cleaner than it was when I thought of this one). 16. End everyday with a positive attitude (no matter how my day went: good, bad, got stuck in traffic for two hours, the boy I watch wouldn't listen to me, I lost something that was kind of important to me, my favorite book's front cover ripped, phone fell into a puddle, it was snowing, it was too hot, my cat wouldn't come when I called him, had a headache, Starbucks didn't have the PSL because it's not autumn, I'm not in Maine by a lake or ocean, my brain can't come up with anything inspiring to write about. Whatever happened in my day, making sure to be happy when I go to sleep. Remember the little things that made me smile, instead of the little terrible things that seemed bigger than they actually were). 17. Appreciate the people around me (a lot of times, I take people in my life for granted because I think they will always be in my life. Letting the people I love and care about know that is important, no matter how old I am). 18. Go to the dog park more with my dog (I went today and thought: "man, why don't I do this more often?"). 19. Continue to write whatever comes to my mind & update my blog more (Writing has become extremely important to me, it gives me a voice when my voice can't communicate what I want to say. This blog gives me a platform to say all that I want to say with no one telling me I'm talking too much. I get to write out all my feelings about a subject, and hope that someone will take time out of their day to read it). 20. Challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone (I got out of my comfort zone more than ever in 2014 and I hope to continue to push myself to challenge myself in 2015. Like my dad always says: "get out of your comfort zone and into your courage zone." Well dad, this year will be more in my courage zone than last year, so get ready!). 21. Continue to be less scared of the unknown (one of my proudest accomplishments of 2014 was realizing that the unknown was nothing to be scared of. Continuing to not worry about the things to come take away from living my life). 22. Live in the moment I'm in and never take anything for granted (People, myself included, take life for granted a lot of the time. We think that we have an unlimited amount of time, until something happens that make us realize that we took the people we loved for granted and forgot to absorb their time with them to the fullest. Realizing that we don't have forever, and I don't want to look back on my life when I'm 80 with regret that I didn't appreciate the life I had and did all the things I wanted to do (most of those things I don't know yet). Trying new things, meeting new people, take every chance I have and fully immerse myself with whatever I do). Now, if you read all of what I just wrote, I greatly appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this long list. I know that this list is huge and there is no way I'm going to stick to all of these the entire year. However, what start out as a resolution list turned into a "self improvement" list. To remind myself to keep growing and pushing myself to the fullest (& to add humor to my life every chance I get). Now that you've read this long list, what are your new year's resolutions or how are you looking to grow in 2015? 'til next time. Kelly (By the way, I purposely put 22 because I'm going to be 22 this year.)