#but looks like tonight is an insomnia night so decided screw it and finished it instead outta boredom lol

[ink--theory]

I love justito he is very silly

[akawrites000]

Stupid but feels so right

Villain is just having a nice time, leaning on a railing and staring up at the stars when he sees a silhouette blur past him and land on a rooftop about three buildings away from him. Instinct kicks in and he immediately hides behind the wall, because getting into some scuffle with another Villain would do him no good.

He hears no noises that sounds like a brawl, so he peeks out slowly from his spot behind the wall and catches sight of a blue costume that looks pale in the moonlight. He squints his eyes, trying to discern the figure further. The silhouette moves a little bit into the moonlight and Villain's eyes widen like baseballs.

Hero?! What the hell is he doing here, at this time of the night? Villain whisks his head back to hide away behind the wall, his brain running a mile per minute. Did he perhaps somehow figure out that I'm here? Am I being tracked? But wait, I'm not doing anything today so there's no reason to track me- Villain spends a good fifteen minutes racking his brain up but no matter what, he can't seem to arrive at an answer for the Hero's appearance. He peeks out again- and he’s still here, great. Furthermore, Hero had settled down nicely on that roof , pulling his blue cape further on himself.

Villain lets out a distressed sigh. He doesn't look like he's here to fight. Villain spends a few more minutes looking at Hero, and for some reason the longer he looks at Hero, the more he realises that Hero just looks incredibly lonely, sitting there all alone, curled up on himself, the pale moonlight making him look paler than usual. And Villain immediately makes a decision- he decides to go and give Hero some company, ignoring the warning bells going off in his head.

-

Hero jumps at the sound of footsteps behind him and looks just about ready to bolt after recognizing Villain's form behind him. Villain can literally see Hero's brain working, and so he stops, raising his hands up in a peaceful motion, hoping that the stubborn Hero understands that he’s not here to fight.

Hero's tense muscles calm down at the sight of Villain's hands raised up, and he sits back down, abandoning his instinct to flee. Villain plops down next to him, not making any other movement. Hero gives him a sideways glance, only to look back at the sky after.

"What are you doing here? Did you track me down?"

Villain tries to answer the question with a level voice, his internal self currently in chaos because that was exactly what he had thought around twenty minutes ago.

We're just so stupid aren't we?

"Don't flatter yourself Hero, I have other things to do."

"Like?"

Villain thinks for a moment and then answers, "like stargazing."

Hero whisks his head sideways so fast, Villain momentarily worries if his neck is okay.

"What?"

"You heard me, stargazing. And rooftops are the best spots for that."

Hero wants to laugh but something in Villain's voice tells him that he's not joking.

"Yeah, the stars look beautiful tonight."

It's silent again for a few minutes before Villain decides to speak up.

"So what is the Hero of justice doing here? Don't you guys have like a strict schedule to stick to? Wake up at 6 am and sleep by 9 pm-

He's cut off by Hero's chuckling. Villain just shrugs his shoulders, waiting for him to finish and give him an answer.

"We do have schedules, the waking up part at least. The sleeping part, not so much."

Villain turns to look at Hero and notices dark bags under his eyes. He turns back and stares at the sky.

" Are you on night duty or something?"

Hero chuckles again and Villain finds himself becoming slightly self conscious. What the hell's so funny?! , he screams internally.

"No, it's just that I can't sleep."

"Insomnia?"

"That too, but mostly nightmares."

Villain's heart tugs with a feeling of familiarity. Nightmares was definitely something that he could relate to. But he never imagined that Hero, the person who was the reason for peace existing in this town would get nightmares, and even more so, stay awake at night because of them. He had just assumed that the very fact that the Hero was fighting for all the good things would let him sleep easily at night. So he was wrong.

"And you're not able to sleep because you're scared of them?"

Hero turns to face Villain, giving him a look as if saying "duh."

Villain stammers, throat clammy and heart thundering in his chest. It had been a while since he had a normal conversation with anyone so he really wasn't sure if he was doing a good job. And for some weird reason, he cared.

But Hero understands and qualms his fears with just a few words, " It's fine, I'm not really offended, just confused." He says, and Villain stares at him, jaw dropping in amazement.

And Hero just smiles, and Villain is reminded of the honey words and sunny smiles that Hero showcases on his patrols every day. He suddenly feels sad? He wants Hero to smile only for him, if that even makes sense- and the words leave Villain's mouth before he can stop them,

"Don't smile like that. I'm not one of your precious civilians."

Hero stares back at him, horror and shock written plainly on his face.

(Oh, jealousy was such a dangerous thing. And if Villain was actually jealous, he's screwed, because Hero has thousands of people who love him. And whom does Villain have? None.)

Hero then chuckles once again, but this time it sounds lifeless and dry and Villain hates it.

"Sorry, I got lost in the moment. It has been a while since I smiled for real, I didn't even realize I was doing it."

Now it's Villain's turn to stare at Hero, all shocked and tongue tied.

It seems like Hero understood again, because he answered to the question that Villain wanted to scream out. " Well, it's kinda an embarrassing thing really," Hero mutters, " I smile at citizens because I have to, it's part of my job, not really because I want to."

Villain still seems to be in shock, so Hero just continues, " I- I mean, not all of my smiles are fake you know, I'm not heartless," Hero counters, " it's just that I have to smile even if I don't feel like smiling sometimes and I hate that, because who would want to see a Hero who's just about done with this society right?"

Hero turns to look at Villain and for the second time that night Villain wants to run, not because he's scared but because he's feeling so many emotions that he's never felt before and he doesn't know what to do with them- he feels like he’s going to be swallowed whole.

And more importantly, he can't hide away from Hero's gaze and it looks so heartbreaking. Villain would have cried, if he didn't have a reputation to maintain.

"So, what about the honey words?"

Hero looks at him like he's pleasantly surprised that that's the impression Villain has of him.

"Oh, those are just formalities again, you know, to gain public favour."

Just the thought makes Villain cringe. He definitely can't see himself telling people things that he doesn't mean.

"Then what about fear?" Villain begins, hesitant, " you do get scared right?"

"Of course I do!" Hero laughs, so tender and Villain is left to figure out whether it's real or fake.

Hero understands again, "it's real this time."

Villain is just baffled by this point, " are you psychic or something?!"

And Hero has the time of his life, alternating between chuckling and full blown laughing, clutching his stomach because he's been laughing too much and Villain just wants to disappear into the ground.

"Like I said, it's all a part of the profession. When you're on rescue missions, you have to judge people's mindsets so that you know what to say to them. Otherwise there'll be full blown panic everytime. "

Villain listens intently, finding every word that falls out of Hero's lips incredibly interesting and thought provoking. He had never imagined that being a Hero was such an intricate and delicate job.

"It's just that I've never seen you look scared before," Villain begins, "and all these things that you're telling me, it's all so new..."

Hero smiles and after listening to him, Villain can see the tiny difference. The 'sunny smiles' are usually stiff, where the Hero's lips just form a thin line. This one is more free and natural, making his cheeks pull just right and what the hell am I thinking-

"Well I've never really shared this with anyone." Hero says. " I guess it's more exact if I say that no one has really bothered to ask me about all this, so I never told anyone."

Villain feels his chest constrict because the more he listens to Hero, he feels like his own life is being told back to him, in another voice, and it's not just him talking in his own head, for once.

"You can share anything you want to, if you're okay with me."

A villain trying to offer a hero some solace, how ironic- Villain's mind sings to him.

But the grateful look that crosses Hero's face clears Villain's mind of any previous doubt, if only just for a moment.

"You know, heroes are never allowed to show fear on their faces. It's one of the things that I find hardest to do."

Villain tips his head sideways, as if pondering, "But why? Every human feels fear right? It's a pretty common emotion. Why hide that?"

Hero laughs but it sounds more like a wheeze, "Because according to my superiors, heroes are the symbol of peace. And a symbol of peace is not supposed to show raw despair on his face."

At that moment, Villain desperately wanted to whack Hero's superior hard on their head- whoever they were.

" The other day I was fighting downtown, there was this Villain who could control fire, and it was right in the middle of a pedestrian street."

Villain noticed that Hero's hands began to twitch slightly. It's not because it's cold right?

"I tried my best but I couldn't stop the Villain in time before the fires reached an elementary school right across the street, and there were children still inside the building...

Villain stares at Hero, his heart twisting and clenching in weird places as he sees him breaking down in front of him, his 'hero' mask crumbling.

He looked so much like a normal civilian now, crying for the lives that he couldn't save- except that no normal civilian would have to bear such a heavy burden.

"Even now, i- I can hear-

Hero doesn't speak after that, the sobs that wreck his frame don't let him speak. Villain inches closer to him- slowly, patiently, putting his hands on Hero's trembling ones and looks into his tear stained eyes, as if asking for permission-

"Can I hold you?"

Hero nods and it takes barely an instant for Villain's arms to engulf Hero's trembling figure, picking him up and cradling him close to his chest.

Hero chants, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm so sorry," hands tightly clutching Villain's inky black shirt. Villain rocks back and forth gently, remembering that that's what his mother used to do for him when he was still a child.

Looking at Hero, Villain finally understands how vulnerable a human can be, it doesn't matter what they are, a hero or a villain. At the end of the day, they feel the same things. Loss. Pain. Guilt.

It's okay Hero, you've done enough.

Let me protect you from now on.

And throughout the whole conversation, Villain's mind was berating him, telling him that this was such a stupid decision.

And Villain knows that this may be stupid, that his intervention alone cannot protect the Hero from all the despair and fear that he has to face.

But it doesn't change the fact that it feels right.

And for once, Villain wants to do the right thing.

Lol I really can't write short stuff / I tried to make this more conversational /hope it makes sense/ villain definitely doesn't keep track of the hero's schedule nope / who am I kidding / he probably knows the best spot to watch hero's patrols from/ heroes have to handle so much mental baggage it's sad/ villain finally realizes that they're not so different at the core after all / this villain is not evil btw, doesn't kill people or anything /my writing tends to get so introspective xD

[captain-tch]

Feel the Burn (Modern AU)

You're a shift worker and he's an insomniac - that explains why you run into each other at the gym at 3AM

Working as an EMT didn't have a good impact on your social life. Shift work meant you'd either go to bed as the sun was rising, or be leaving for work as the sun dipped beneath the horizon. As much as you loved your job, you resented the late night shifts, your bed calling you as you worked to save lives.

Maintaining a level of fitness was also extremely difficult. Constantly your body felt sapped of energy, and you could barely muster the strength to eat before sleeping, yet alone exercise. But you made a New Years resolution and you were stubborn - you could do this. So you'd been heading to the gym before or after a shift, no matter how late or early it was. Twenty four hour gyms became your friend as you slowly grew stronger and faster.

Tonight was no different. You'd just finished a more tasking shift than usual, yawning as you stumbled into the entrance of the gym at 3AM. You changed into your workout gear in a daze, slipping your shirt on back to front to only swivel it around.

Really, if you had planned your day better, you could have gone before your shift. You blamed your sweet bed and Netflix for that, only pulling yourself from the sheets at the last possible second. If you weren't so bloody stubborn you'd write this gym trip off - but you couldn't.

Finally, you were ready to start your workout. With a sigh you made your way into the large room, eyeing the equipment with hatred. God, you hated exercise.

Dragging yourself to a nearby treadmill, you slotted your headphones in and started blaring music. The treadmill began to move rapidly under your feet, the beat of the song matching the thud of your footfalls. For a while you zoned out, listening to the music and jogging, trying to ignore the tiredness in your limbs.

When you reached the cool down, you were gasping for air. Sweat was dripping from your forehead and making your clothes slick. Your body cried out as you clambered off the treadmill, a wide smile of victory plastered to your face.

You did it.

Taking a deep swig from your water, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the mirrored wall. Good god, you were glad other people didn't come this late. You looked a mess, with your hair sopping wet and face bright red.

Almost as if some higher power was mocking you, the studio doors opened and in walked the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Dark hair pushed back from his face. Small, but wide build. A confident gait. A blank face.

Subconsciously you flicked some of the sweat off your forehead.

He seemed to notice you in the same moment. He didn't acknowledge you, just walked straight past you and advanced to the equipment. You weren't surprised really. A lot of people kept to themselves, especially at the gym.

Shrugging it off, you carried on with your workout, doing a bit more cardio. Your limbs ached as you pushed your body to its limit, feeling each breath rip out of you like a hurricane.

Taking a small break, you leaned against the counter, taking a quick drink of your water. Naturally, your eyes caught onto the only movement in the room. The mystery man was benching some weights. You felt your jaw drop as you witnessed his muscles tense and flex with each movement, the man seeming unfazed by the extra weight.

You needed to distract yourself, otherwise you'd be stood drooling at his arms all day. Mentally preparing yourself for the physical pain you were about to force on yourself, you breathed deep, taking a seat at the bicep curler.

You gripped the handles, determined to do more reps than you usually did. Carefully, you started to pull the handles towards yourself, feeling the weights attached to them resisting you. You strained your arms, pulling the handle as close to your chest as you could before you lowered it, repeating it until your arms trembled.

"You're doing it wrong." The man's voice echoed out the room.

You jumped. Your heart raced at the sudden voice, hand flying to your chest. The man didn't appear apologetic at all for nearly causing you a heart attack, only waiting for you to gather yourself before responding.

"How so?" You trusted his judgement more than your own, especially considering how your arms were no where near as toned as his.

He sighed, climbing off his own equipment and making his way over to you. You resisted the urge to flatten your hair down, watching as he got closer. "If you keep doing it like that you're going to pull a muscle."

You hadn't thought of that. At the time you felt like your muscles burned because you were building up their strength, but maybe you were causing more damage than good. A subconscious hand drifted to your arm, massaging it slightly.

This didn't go unnoticed by the man, a small smirk working its way on his lips. "I think you already have."

"Work is gonna be a pain in the ass," you muttered, thinking of how you often had to help lift people up onto stretchers, or shift their body to the side. You already weren't looking forward to your next shift.

He was walking away when you surprised yourself by speaking up. "Can you show me how? For next time?"

The man reluctantly paused, doubling back and sitting on the machine next to you. He showed you the correct form, and most importantly how to position your wrists so you got the full benefit of the workout.

You attently watched him, asking questions where appropriate and taking a selfish moment to enjoy the way his arms moved with the machine. If he caught you staring he didn't say anything.

When you finally had a grasp of how to do it, you went to try it yourself. A hand flew out, gripping your bicep. "Might not be the best idea."

You'll be honest - his words barely processed in your brain. You were hyper focused on the skin contact. You had to be imagining it but you swore he held on for a beat more than he should have.

His grip quickly left your arm. You tried not to be disappointed, flashing the man a smile. "Thank you."

He nodded in acknowledgement, moving away to continue his own workout. Your gaze followed him for a while, curious as to who he was, what he did, why he was here at this god foresaken hour of the night... Or morning, depending on how you looked at it.

Not long after that, you decided to go home. Your body was on the verge of collapse and you made a mental note to avoid going to the gym that late ever again. You were extremely grateful that you had the day off.

For the next few days you were far too busy to go to the gym. Your shifts were chaotic, and you had to do jobs around the house that took priority over exercise. But your thoughts drifted often to the black haired man with muscles like a god. You wondered if you'd see him again.

The next time you saw him was nearly a month later. Once again you hadn't gone to the gym earlier in the day and your shift ended later than you'd have liked. You told yourself you didn't go earlier because you wanted to relax, but really, you just wanted a reason to run into the handsome stranger.

A higher power was on your side. There he was, working out on the very machine he taught you how to use. You sent him a timid smile, going about your workout as normal, tracking the man's movement from the corner of your eye.

He went to the water fountain. You took this as an opportunity to jump into conversation, slowing your run to a stop and sitting on an unknown piece of equipment.

"So, Mr Muscle, how'd you stay so fit?"

He shrugged, screwing the lid on his water bottle. "Insomnia."

"Is that why you're here so late?"

"Early." He corrected, nodding. "Might as well do something productive with my time."

You agreed. It made a lot of sense really. If you struggled to sleep you would try to do all of the things you couldn't be arsed doing during the day. And you also imagined it helped get some sleep in eventually.

"Why are you here?"

So you'd spiked his curiosity too? You felt a sense of victory at the revelation. "I do shift work."

"Dedicated."

"More like procrastinator."

He huffed a laugh, taking a sip from his drink. He looked at the clock, biting at his lip. "I've got to go. Don't go pulling any muscles."

The remark made you smirk.

The third time you met him in the gym, he finally told you his name.

Levi.

It felt like a door to getting to know him better. And you liked that. A lot.

You started to hope you'd get to see him a fourth time.

Suddenly you found yourself volunteering to do as many night shifts as possible. Especially since you had a reason to stay awake.

[jalapeno-princess]

Broken-Hearted Girl

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 8.7K

Summary: After a petty argument escalates into Mark saying some things he didn’t mean, the two of you end up breaking up on your third anniversary. For the rest of the week, you find solace in your family and you learn how to live with a broken heart.

A/N: I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon this song but after listening to and falling in love with one of their other songs “Friend’s Don’t” by Maddie and Tae, I already knew I was going to like this one also. I recommend you listen to it while reading this imagine, the song really does tug on your heartstrings. I’ve been extremely busy for the last few weeks and so I wanted to put a hold on writing (even if just for a few days) but I’ve actually been staying up till the wee hours of the morning (I feel as if I might have insomnia but who knows) and I actually had a really bad mental breakdown earlier, so I needed something to help calm me down and take my mind off of my negative thoughts. Writing is my favorite escape from how cruel this world can be sometimes (although, my writing is literal shit haha) (and i really don’t care for how I ended this and I’m actually kind of unimpressed with this story) but I hope you guys enjoy it! (I have never been in a relationship before so I haven’t experienced the pain of a heartbreak (and I’m sure knowing my sensitive ass I would actually die)

Hey, mama, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress? Black mascara off a pillow case Cure a one-too-many headache Mama, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next And hey, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

This was not how tonight was supposed to end. Usually, anniversaries were meant to be extremely romantic. They were meant to celebrate the amount of time you’ve been in a relationship with your significant other and to relish in the love that you had for one another; yet here you were, storming out of your boyfriend—well, now ex-boyfriend’s truck towards your apartment with tears streaming down your face. 

You were too focused on getting inside and just collapsing to the ground that you couldn’t even remember how the night ended so terribly. Just a few hours ago, Mark picked you up with the intentions on surprising you for your third anniversary together. 

The two of you practically couldn’t even keep your eyes, let alone your hands off of each other to the point where Mark was just going to say fuck it and show you just how much he loved you and how happy he was to be able to call you the love of his life with his head between your thighs. However, things didn’t go as planned. 

In fact, you had a hard time processing that he told you he planned on spending the rest of his life with you just a few moments before the argument broke out. As soon as you unlocked the door and stumbled inside, you immediately sank to your knees and let out the most heartbreaking cry you didn’t think you were capable of. Not once in your life did you ever cry as much as you were right now. 

Sure, you’ve lost a few loved ones, failed a couple of very important tests here and there and sometimes you and Mark would watch some of the saddest movies every now and then but nothing ever hurt you as much as Mark’s last words did. 

My life would’ve been so much easier if you weren’t in it. 

Each word felt like a stab in your gut. At the time, you knew you said some things that you didn’t mean and that you were sure had a negative effect on him; but nothing you said was even half as bad as hearing him practically say he regrets your entire relationship. 

It made you overthink the last three years of being with him. Mark was in more or less words, the perfect boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; he always held doors open for you, pushed you on the inside whenever you’d be walking on sidewalks, pulled out chairs for you, always asked how your day was going and if you were eating all your meals on time. 

He knew your coffee order by heart, he’d buy you cute little things he would see that he thought you would like and he even made you a few playlists of songs that reminded him of you. He took care of you as if you were the most delicate little dandelion; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t rough or dominant behind closed doors. 

Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Three years would do that to someone; he knew each and every mole, freckle, beauty and birthmark on your body. He was well aware of the scar on your knee that was shaped like Texas and how you got it from playing football with your cousins. If perfect was a person, it would be him. 

Everyone who knew of him wanted to be his friend. Mark was a social butterfly; he had a tendency to be friendly and kind to whoever he encountered. His golden heart, extremely kind and generous personality was got you to fall in love with him; on top of his indescribable good looks and charismatic charm. After knowing each other for over seven years, you’ve grown accustomed to having Mark in your life. 

Even before the two of you started dating, he was there for almost every milestone in your life. He was there when you got accepted in to the college of your dreams, he was there when you got an internship with a company you’ve been wanting for a long time, he was there for your first time getting drunk at the young age of 16 and he was the one to rub your back as you threw up the following morning. 

With that being said, he was also there during some of the darkest times in your life. When your grandmother passed away from cancer, it felt as if your entire world fell apart. She was your best friend and you were completely devastated as soon as your mom called you and told you the news of her passing. Mark was at baseball practice around the time that you were heading to the hospital, but once he heard of what happened, he wasted no time in making his way to where you were and pulled you in to his chest the moment his eyes landed on your frail figure. 

It took months of grieving, crying over her absence and Mark constantly whispering sweet words of comfort for you to come to terms with her death and you were entirely grateful that you had someone so patient and understanding as Mark was to be there for you during such a traumatic time. What was going to happen now when he was the reason why you were so distraught? 

Losing your grandmother was extremely painful and even after all these years, you weren’t completely over her death. However, knowing that man you loved more than life itself no longer wanted anything to do with you was a different kind of pain. Although there were a few times in your relationship that you and Mark would disagree, not once did a fight escalate this badly before. 

Your relationship was one that everyone around you seemed to envy. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark loved you and it was obvious by your words and actions that you felt the exact same way. His mom always used to tell you that your love was one for the ages; you both cared for one another in ways that only people who were genuinely in love could experience. For two people who’ve been in a relationship for as long as you and Mark have, you were still in the so called “honeymoon stage” where you constantly had to be around each other even if all you did was laze around all day doing nearly nothing. 

Just being in his presence always made you feel so at ease; so serene. Home wasn’t necessarily a place you lived in or just a roof above your head. Home wasn’t just a place that gave you shelter; home was where you felt the safest, the most comfortable and home was where you were happiest. For the last seven years, Mark Tuan was your home and now, you were homeless. You always felt so protected and loved whenever you were around him and you hated every moment spent away from him. 

The more time you spent crying on the floor, the more you came to the realization that tonight’s events actually happened and Mark was no longer your person. Although neither of you actually called it quits, you knew by the tone of his voice and in his facial expression that it was over. Even if he were to come back to you within the week begging you for forgiveness, you don’t think you could ever forget how his words screwed you up mentally and physically. 

When you decided that you had cried all the tears you had in your body and that you were wasting your time crying over someone who couldn’t give less of a shit about you, you got up from your spot right in front of the door and slowly sauntered off in to the kitchen. Anyone who knew you were aware of the fact that you hated alcohol. 

You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you were sure it’s because you spent your teenage years getting high and wasted to the point where it was no longer fun to do now that it was legal. The bottle of red wine that was in the back of your cupboard was a gift from Mark’s friend Jackson for your birthday a couple of months ago and you didn’t want to seem rude by not accepting it since you didn’t care for red wine or just wine in general. 

But now, you were extremely grateful for his choice in gifts and you made it your responsibility to finish the entire bottle in one sitting before you went to sleep. That’s if you could even find it in yourself to even go to bed. Your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and what he was doing right now; if he regretted what he said, if he knew you were currently suffering and beating yourself up about the argument. 

How could the two of you go from being seconds away to ripping each other’s clothes off, to you drinking imported red wine straight from the bottle to take your mind off of your broken heart? As you continued to drink the wine, it was in that moment of sitting on your kitchen floor and banging your head on your refrigerator that you noticed your front door had a dent in it. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were to go up to it and see that you broke it by how hard you slammed it out of anger, but at this point you didn’t even care. 

Your mind, your heart and your body were so numb that nothing else seemed to matter and if anything, the door represented your mental state and your relationship. Seeing as how you were the definition of a light weight, it didn’t take you long to completely knock out on the hard tile. Although that last sentence continued to replay over and over; taunting you as a painful reminder that you were living your actual nightmare, it was the fact that he gave up on you so easily as if you meant nothing to him that really killed you. 

Was he planning to breakup with you and used this argument to actually go along with it? How long ago did he decide he no longer wanted to be with you? Everything seemed to be going so good for the two of you; so when did he decide he had enough of your relationship? You weren’t surprised when you woke up the next morning with an extremely painful migraine and a crook in your neck. 

This is why you despised any type of alcohol and never understood why Mark and his friends constantly went out to bars whenever they hung out. However, you felt as if this was going to be your way to ease the pain and knowing that alone made you want to cry again. After taking a few moments to process what you were going to do for the rest of the day, you got up to take some pain killers and to look at your current state to see how much of a mess you probably were. 

Almost half an hour later, you found the strength to get up and walked to your bathroom. Your head was throbbing and your bones ached from sleeping on the floor, but nothing hurt even half as much as your heart did. As soon as you saw your reflection, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You looked horrible. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tangled and all over the place. You had mascara stained on your cheeks, your eyes were puffy and if you weren’t so numb, you would’ve screamed at the wine stain in the dress you were wearing; your favorite dress to be exact. 

Mark bought you that dress a couple of months ago because he knew it would look good on you and he was right. The first time you wore it, it didn’t stay on for too long. It was your favorite dress for many reasons; not only did your boyfriend buy it for you, but as someone who was extremely insecure with her body, no matter how many times Mark would make it known how much he loved your body and thought you were the most beautiful and sexiest woman to exist, the dress made you feel beautiful. 

You wore this dress with so much confident but now, it was stained with a deep maroon color right around the chest area and it was a brief representation of the hell you were going through. Like the fool that you were, the fool who was madly in love with the person you wished you could hate right now, you checked your phone to see if he tried to get in touch with you at all and you felt your stomach sink when you saw nothing. 

No texts, no calls, no voicemails, no “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”, no “I love you” or “I miss you.” Couples went through breakups all the time so why did you feel pathetic for something you weren’t at fault for? The rest of the week felt like you were dreaming the same nightmare over and over again. You could still see the anger and rage in his eyes when he told you that you were annoying and that he wasted his night with you when he could’ve gone out with his friends. You were sure there was a chance he was with them right now and you didn’t care at all. 

If he was so quick to let you go without a care in the world, you weren’t going to allow yourself to cry over him no matter how much you wanted to. But you were only human. Three years may not be considered “a long relationship” and you were still kind of young to get married and settle down but you knew Mark was the man you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with. The two of you talked about your futures on multiple occasions and every time Mark would talk about his plans, you were in each one. 

On the fifth day, you came to terms with the idea that it was really over. You tried lying to yourself by thinking that he was going to come back and that he just needed some time to calm down, but you gave up on that idea entirely knowing how Mark could be. Two things about the older boy that you could do without was his pride and how stubborn he could be. 

He tried his best not to show you those sides of him because he didn’t want you thinking negatively of him or being afraid of him; however there were occasions where he would get in to it with one of his friends because he always had to have the last word. With that being said, you knew Mark wasn’t going to give in. He wasn’t going to initiate reconciling with you even if that’s what he wanted because that’s just who he was. 

A week away from work was what you needed to really try and get yourself together again. It wasn’t until your mom called asking how you were doing and if you and Mark wanted to stop by for dinner that you realized you weren’t okay nor were you ready to go out and put on a fake smile while pretending nothing was wrong. When your mom called you, you let her go to voicemail multiple times. 

Although your mom was your best friend and you probably needed someone to be there to comfort you during your heartbreak, you weren’t ready for pity or sympathy. The only person you needed was Jack Daniels. You hated what you had become in less than a weak and you hated that you allowed Mark to have this effect on you. It was only natural for you to be responding to your breakup in this way; you were only human. But you were now a pathetic alcoholic who was wasting her time crying over a man who was no longer in her life. 

Three shots of vodka, two beers and one shot of tequila later and you absentmindedly left a lengthy voicemail to your mom, telling her exactly what happened all the while begging her to let you stay at your parent’s house for a couple of days. Maybe even weeks. Deep down, you knew you needed to be around people no matter how much you enjoyed being alone because your mind always found away to think about Mark. 

You told her how Mark yanked out your heart and stepped on it repeatedly. You told her about getting drunk every single day for the last week, how much you hated him for what he was putting you through and how you hated that you were letting such a stupid boy control your emotions. You also asked her if your dad could come over on one of his days off to take a look at your door. She didn’t take long to respond back to you nor were you surprised when you heard her knocking on your door while she quickly pulled you in to her embrace once you opened it. 

“Oh yeah sweetheart, you really broke your poor door. Come here baby, mama’s got you.” 

She helped you bring your bags to the car and the two of you stayed in silence the entire ride to your parent’s house. You had a feeling she had a few questions she wanted to ask you and that there was a couple of things she wanted to say but you were glad that the only noise in her car was the sound of the air conditioner. You weren’t ready for any kind of human interaction or a conversation you knew would drive you even more crazy. 

All you wanted was for your mom to rock you back and forth like how she used to when you were younger and tell you that everything was going to be okay even if you lost all hope on it being so. When she pulled up to the garage, she told you to stay put so that she could help you get out of your car and you felt like such a child. Out of all your siblings, you were the closest one to your mom and even if you were an adult living on your own with a full time job and everything, you were always going to be her little girl. 

Seeing your child cry was always painful for a mother, but because the reason behind your sadness was something out of her control, she felt like she couldn’t do anything but console you and get you whatever you needed to try and make you feel better. Once you made it inside of the house, she led you to your old bedroom and let you get settled in so that she could prepare you something to eat. You didn’t have the heart to tell her you weren’t all that hungry; you haven’t had much of an appetite in the last week and you were sure she noticed your sudden weight loss. 

A part of you wanted to ask her to forget about it, especially because being in your old room brought back so many memories of Mark and how he would sneak in on school nights and how the two of you would stay up talking about anything your hearts desired. Being alone wasn’t something you’d think you’d ever get used to, especially because Mark was like your shadow. Wherever you went, Mark followed and unlike most people who would probably complain about his clinginess, you enjoyed it profusely. 

Knowing that Mark always craved your presence and needed to be around you to maintain his sanity made your heart flutter. This has been the longest you had to be without him and every day felt like an entire month. It’s as if time went by frustratingly slow because the universe was aware of your heartbreak and wanted to make you suffer for whatever reason you were unsure of. 

Taking a look around your old bedroom, you could feel your chest grow heavy when you saw the few pictures you had of you and Mark from when you were growing up and tears were soon building up at your eyes. The two of you looked so happy together; you were just a couple of kids who dreamt about so many wonderful things that life had to offer. Little did either of you know that one day, you would fall in love with one another before you could even comprehend the meaning behind that silly four letter word. 

You silently cursed to yourself for getting all worked up again; you came to your parent’s house as a way to heal on your own and to surround yourself with people who love you and care about your well-being. You just needed to have some kind of support system or else you’d drive yourself crazy back at your apartment thinking about what you could’ve done to have prevented the breakup from happening. The gentle knock on your door took you by surprise and you almost ended up dropping the frame. 

She released a long sigh before she walked over toward you and took the picture from out of your hands. The last thing your mom wanted to do was to make you even more upset by saying something to trigger you or cause you to overthink. But she couldn’t handle seeing you so broken; so defeated especially because you were an actual ray of sunshine. Your smile alone could light up an entire room and your personality was so bright and bubbly, people enjoyed your company because of your enthusiasm. 

As much as your mom liked Mark to the point where she would secretly plan out your future wedding with his mom whenever they’d go out to lunch together, she wanted to find him and make him regret what he did to her baby girl. She was shocked to say the least when she got your voicemail and at first, she couldn’t even understand what you were saying because your speech was so slurred and she couldn’t hear a word you were saying through your tears. Mark made it known to his surroundings that you were his entire world and all he cared about was making sure you were well taken cared of and that you were happy, healthy and got everything you deserved. You were so agitated just by seeing his photo and you wanted to scream. 

He was probably already over the entire thing and although it killed you to think like this, you couldn’t help but feel as if he was already looking for someone new. Why else would he have left you so easily? There must’ve been someone on the side but who were you kidding? That man planned an entire night out for you; to celebrate your life together. Your mind came up with all these different reasons for the breakup so you could get some closure but you weren’t stupid. You knew Mark loved you, you just couldn’t find a reason why he would tell you he regrets your relationship and wishes he never met you. 

You despised yourself for trusting Mark with your entire being; for allowing him to see each and every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. You hated that he was the only man you’ve ever loved with your entire physical, mental and spiritual being. You were upset with yourself for falling so hard for him and giving him the control to do such a thing to your heart. The feeling of being in your mom’s arms again after moving out almost two years ago was extremely comforting and very calming. 

She ran her fingers through your hair and continued to stay silent and waited until you stopped crying completely before telling you exactly what was on her mind. After your sobs slowly died down, she tapped on your forehead to get your attention. 

“Sweetheart, have I ever told you the story of when your father left me back when we were in college?” 

You shook your head in disagreement but widened your eyes in shock at her revelation. From what you were told, your parents were college sweethearts. Your dad fell in love with her when one of their mutual friends asked him to pick her up from work once and he was extremely grateful that their car was in the shop at that time or else he would have never met his soulmate. 

They’ve been together for over twenty years and not once have you heard this story, but now you were heavily interested. You always loved hearing stories about your parents relationship; it gave you high hopes for your own relationship and since you were going through a breakup right now, you could only hope the story would lift up your spirits. 

“We were together for only three months at the time and it was the first relationship I had where I genuinely cared for him. He was so kind, so flirtatious and used the cheesiest pickup lines to make me laugh. I knew he was going to be someone special in my life. Unfortunately, at the time your dad was the only one in his group of friends that was in a relationship. They told him that being in a relationship was “lame” and that he was still so young to be wasting his time being tied down to one girl. He tried to defend and fight for our relationship, but his friends continued to pester him over it, so he broke up with me. I was devastated, I cried for hours on end and couldn’t eat anything. But he showed up only three days later with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bucket of fried chicken. He told me he loved me and refused to be without me. It was quire romantic if you ask me.” 

You giggled at the idea of your dad asking your mom to take him back with some Popeyes. You were upset to hear that your dad’s friends coerced him in to breaking up with her. However, you were happy to hear that it didn’t take too long for him to realize your mom was it for him.

“He’ll be back y/n. I know he will. That boy—he loves you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, I can tell in his actions and with the way he looks at you that he’s head over heels in love with you. His mom also mentioned it a couple times; he’s—what is that word kids your age use these days? Whipped for you? She said he has stars in his eyes whenever you come up in conversation. It’s serious when a boy talks about you to his momma. One day when the two of you are married with a family of your own, you’ll look back on this little bump in the road and laugh—“

“Please don’t say that. You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he told me all of those hurtful things. It didn’t even feel like he was my boyfriend, it was as if I was looking at a stranger. It makes me wonder, did he ever really love me if he had no problem leaving me?”

“I’m serious y/n. I don’t know what things were said that night or how things ended up the way they did, but when it’s real, when it’s love, you just know. He probably looks just as bad and if not worse than you do. I know it hurts. Breakups are rough, especially because it’s obvious you and Mark were made for one another. But what have I always told you? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours forever and if it doesn’t, well baby, it just simply wasn’t meant to be. He was probably just in the heat of the moment and said some things he probably didn’t mean. I’m sure he’s regretting this entire thing. Mark’s a smart boy; if he knows what’s best for him, he’ll be yours again in no time. Until then, get out of this funk y/n. There’s so many wonderful things in the world to do and to be grateful for. Do you really want to look back on your twenties and regret wasting your time crying over a boy when you could be doing so many different activities and go on so many adventures?”

You released a frustrated sigh and shook your head again. She was right. You were tired of crying and drinking so much. There was only so much alcohol your body could handle and it wasn’t worth all the hangovers. 

“Maybe we should tell your dad what happened so he can mess around with him a little bit and teach him a lesson.”

The idea and the way your mom said it made you let out a genuine laugh. Your parents were always so protective over you and it was probably because you were so kind-hearted that people tended to take advantage of how polite you could be. However, even if she meant it as a joke, you were nervous at what your dad would do if he found out about what Mark said to you and how the breakup was slowly killing you. You were a daddy’s girl and your dad never failed to do anything to make you smile; even if it meant scaring your ex-boyfriend which you knew you didn’t want him doing. 

Your mom stayed with you for a few hours until it was timed for her to make dinner and you ended up falling asleep because of how mentally exhausted you were. No matter how much your mom loved it whenever you stayed over, she didn’t want you to get used to running away from your problems and hiding when things got too difficult. She wanted you to learn to live without him on your own. Your mom knew that you were going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but one day you would heal from this entire situation and realize that your breakup was a learning experience. 

Plus, you had to return back to work sooner or later or you would lose your job completely. A cloud of sadness came once your dad pulled up to your apartment complex and they offered to walk you to your door but you weren’t sure if you’d allow them to leave if they did. They both pulled you in for hugs as they said their goodbyes and you actually cried as you watched them drive away. Why did life have to be so complicated? You were so unhappy to the point where you thought you would actually die from a broken heart. 

The aspect of dying from a broken heart was extremely devastating; you’ve heard about it on multiple occasions. It was normal for people to be so sad, so distraught and have no energy or motivation to do anything. They wouldn’t eat, sleep and only spend most of their days crying out what was left of their hearts. You didn’t think going through a breakup would cause this much damage to you and your well-being; but contrary to what your mom told you, Mark wasn’t just any boy. He was the owner of your heart and you understood that he could torment you like this because you allowed him to. 

You stopped by the mailbox to see if you got anything before heading up to your apartment. When your parents were driving you back to your place, you decided that you would actually get up and do something today. Whether it was tidying up your place from how messy it had become from your one too many drunken stupors, or going to the cleaners to get that wine stain out of your dress. As you began to approach your unit, you noticed there was something sitting right in front of your door. 

The closer you got, you realized that it wasn’t just something, it was someone. Your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest when you realized exactly who the person was slumped up against the wall. It was exactly a week since your fight and you weren’t sure if it was what your mom had said about your love and how beautiful it was, or because you were miserable without him but you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and beg him to come back to you. 

You expected to be angry if you were to see him again because of all the trauma you suffered through; yet seeing him tugged on your heartstrings and it was as if you pushed the entirety of the last week to the back of your mind. When Mark heard footsteps coming towards him and he looked up to see who it was, he had to hold himself back from running towards you. Your mom was right, just like she normally was. 

This week was one of the worst weeks of his entire life. He was suffering without you. He never hated himself more than he did when he said all those things and he hated himself even more for not running after you as soon as those spiteful words fell from his mouth. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and if things were to end up differently that night, he would’ve been able to show you exactly what you meant to him in more ways than one. 

He wanted to call you, to text you and to tell you how stupid he was and how he didn’t mean a single word that he said to you but words were never his forte. Nor did he want to give up his pride even if it meant preventing this last week from ever happening. It was all his fault, or so he kept telling himself and he couldn’t go one more day without you in his life. It was too much for his heart to withstand. 

He was going to do everything in his power to get you to forgive him, even if it meant having to stay away from you for a little while longer for you to completely heal from this experience. As soon as he drove away from your apartment that night, he knew he fucked up and accidentally punched a hole in his wall out of anger. He was so selfish; so insensitive and didn’t think that his harsh words would have any negative effect on you. 

After hearing your little jabs at him, he wanted to hit you where it hurt the most but if he knew then what he knew now, he would’ve kept his mouth shut and just dropped you home so that you both could calm down and not say everything you both said to one another. You let out a deep breath and tried to prepare your heart to hear why he was there and to be ready to fight if the situation called for it. 

“Hey.” 

You looked up at him and you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids. He looked so tired and you knew for a fact that he must’ve cried with how his eyes practically mirrored the puffiness of yours. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent and his face looked smaller than it already was. It made you cringe; Mark was never one to portray himself as someone weak or someone who had feelings and emoted whenever something was up with him. If he had a problem, he’d deal with it on his own and this was no different. 

Good. He deserved to have suffered as much as you did. 

“Hi. How long have you been here for?” He shrugged before scratching the back of his head; something he normally did when he felt like he was in the wrong or whenever he was embarrassed and you took it as the former. 

“Um—since Wednesday I think.” 

Your eyes widened in shock at his answer. Wednesday? So that means he was sitting outside of your apartment for the last three days? 

“Wait, you’ve been here for three days? Are you crazy? Mark, you could’ve gotten sick! It’s cold out here! And what about food? Have you even been eating? You look so malnourished, why would you—“

“You and I both know why. I fucked up. Big time. It took me a while to think about it at this perspective because I was just so mad and I wanted to blame you for the way things ended that night but I came to the conclusion that this was my fault. I’m the one who fucked up something so amazing, so beautiful and so perfect because I was a fucking asshole y/n and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

In order to prevent wandering eyes of your neighbors, you opened the door and motioned for him to walk inside so that the two of you could have your privacy. 

“Shit y/n, what happened to your door? You have to practically force it open—“

“You don’t want to know. My dad is supposed to come over this weekend to try and fix it. I think the hinges must’ve came out or something. Can I get you something to eat? Drink?” 

He shook his head and you could see in your peripheral vision that he was hesitatingly reaching out for your hand, probably in attempts to bring you to the couch so he could continue the conversation from where the two of you began from but he just walked over to the living room and took a seat. You wanted to hear everything he had to say and you were going to make it a point to let him know what this breakup did to you. 

His focus was on the multiple empty bottles of alcohol sitting on your coffee table and because he was well aware of how much you hated alcohol, it was apparent that you must’ve had it really rough if you felt the need to turn to alcohol for solace. When he felt like he was ready to talk, he turned around to face you and released an exasperated sigh. 

“I’m sorry it took so long to come here—oh, these are for you. I actually had to go back to the store because the first two bouquets actually died probably because they weren’t being watered and I bought your favorite cookies—but I got hungry so there’s only three left.” 

He handed you the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers and you giggled at the sight of only three cookies in a big container but it made you smile nonetheless. 

How romantic. 

You politely thanked him and placed both of the gifts down on the table before speaking up. 

“You should’ve called me, I wouldn’t allow you to have waited out here for me. Are you crazy Mark? What if something happened to you—“

“Then so be it. I’d probably deserve it. Fuck, you don’t understand how much of a mess I was without you and how much I’ve been suffering because the image of your pained face would not leave my mind once this entire weekend. I had a feeling you weren’t home when you weren’t answering the door but then again, you could’ve looked through the peephole and decided you wanted nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t have blamed you. The old lady next door was kind enough to offer me some food here and there but I’m sure she probably thought I was a thief or something when she first saw me. I should’ve called but you and I both know why I didn’t. I kinda wanted to give you your space because I’m sure what I said probably got under your skin. I ruined our special day and I’m sorry if I broke your heart—with the way you’re looking at me I’m sure I hurt you pretty badly huh.” 

You looked up at him with a melancholic look in your eyes; that had to be the understatement of the year. If you didn’t have your family around to help you take your mind off of your failed relationship, you were sure you would have ended up in the hospital sooner or later. 

“You broke me Mark. You made me feel like I was worthless. You made me think there was someone else or that you fell out of love with me and I genuinely wanted to die. Pathetic right? I just—I didn’t know how to function without you and waking up every morning felt like a chore. At some points I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. I’ve heard heartbreaks caused by breakups were an unfathomable pain that are impossible to bounce back from and some people even die from a broken heart I just never would’ve thought it would happen to me. Especially because we were so happy; so in love and I would have never thought one stupid, meaningless argument could cause us to separate. You made it seem like leaving me was so easy and hearing that you wished that we never dated in the first place is what truly fucked me over. I became a fucking alcoholic because of you—I blamed the entire breakup on myself even if I didn’t say anything that I knew would inflict any sort of pain to you because the idea of hurting you hurts me. It’s sad to know you don’t feel that way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong y/n. I regretted everything that I said as soon as I said them but the damage was already done. Please believe me when I say this, I didn’t mean a fucking word. That was just the anger and the irritation talking for me. My life before you always felt so empty, and once you came in to it, you made everything so much better. You filled my life with color and made my heart soar by just the mere thought of you. I could never regret you or our relationship; you’re all I could ever want or need in this hell forsaken world. You know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you—“

“BUT YOU DID MARK.” 

You didn’t mean to yell, but it was all the built up emotions you’ve been holding in that finally released itself and you knew you wouldn’t be able to forget the way he shivered at your tone. Not once in the many years of knowing you did Mark ever see you so mad. You were always such a shy and introverted person; he didn’t think you were capable of such an intonation. He hated that he was the reason for your hostility and he was afraid that it was too late. It may have only been a week, but what you went through was enough to change your warm-hearted personality in to a cold and aggressive one. 

“Nothing will ever change the fact that you gave up on us—on me. If you knew there was a chance that your words would affect me the way that they did, then you wouldn’t have said anything at all; but you said it all without hesitation like you did mean it. I was coming to accept our breakup for what it was. Sure I was hoping you would come back; hell this is the closest I ever felt to God because I found myself praying every single day for him to show me a sign. For him to heal me and make it known that I would be okay. I’d be lying if I said I’m not the least bit content that you’re here but—I really don’t know what to make of that.” 

To your surprise, he made his way toward you and reached for your hands. As intimidated he was by how you were acting towards him, he knew he had to grow some balls and man up, or he would lose you forever and the tiny box that was in his pocket would no longer have any use. 

“I don’t know what to say or do that would explain how sorry I am and how much I wish I could go back in time and prevent any of this from happening. I don’t know how to stop you from hurting, and to get you to forgive me—I‘ll do anything to fix this y/n. Please—tell me what to do. I can’t—I can’t lose you. Tell me you don’t love me, and then I’ll—I’ll—fuck, there’s no way I can let you go. Please baby—you asked God for a sign and I came here tonight to try and fix my mistakes. That has to mean something right?” 

Hearing him sound so desperate, so willing to do whatever you wanted him to in order to bring your relationship back to what it was made you feel so many emotions. As much as you wanted him to give you some time to think, you knew you’d take him back. It was going to take some time to forgive him, and to get his words out of your mind completely, but Mark was everything you ever wanted for the rest of your life. 

Why were you going to continue suffering on your own and staying away from him when all you wanted was to have him back in your life? You cupped his cheek softly with your palm and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Feeling him smile against your lips sent a fire through your veins; Mark’s kisses always had quite the effect on you. His lips were so pink and so pretty and you loved every single moment that they were pressed against yours. 

“You can start by paying for my dry cleaning. I got a huge wine stain on the dress I was wearing because I got drunk.” He giggled in to your neck before placing a chaste kiss there. 

“Done. You silly girl. God, I missed you so much baby. I also think I have something that could win me some brownie points but I hope tonight ends the way last week should have.” 

The question of what he was referring to was at the tip of your tongue, but before you could emit anything, he was now kneeling on the ground right in front of you and pulled out a red box. Your heart began to race on a you put two and two together; he was going to propose to you. 

“I know, this is probably not how you wanted this to happen and I promise you I had different ways in mind on doing this—but after losing you, I realized that it didn’t matter how, where or when I would ask you to spend the rest of your life with me; all that matters is that I did. I was actually planning on proposing you at the beach once we were finished eating, but I chickened out like the coward that I am. And I guess I was irritated with myself and took it out on you that night and I know I said it so many times, but I will continue apologizing until I make up for all the pain I’ve put you through. I’m sorry y/n. I don’t deserve you—I don’t deserve being able to do this right now but this last week without you made me realize that I can’t live if I have to do it without you.” 

He grazed your wrist with his thumb and you were sure he did that to calm down his nerves, but it was so cute. You loved seeing him so flustered and so nervous and you loved knowing that you were the reason behind his now shy demeanor. 

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember. Every time I would drop you back home once we hung out back in high school, I felt this emptiness in my chest. Then I realized how much I loved hearing you laugh knowing that I was the reason behind it. I loved spending time with you and being around you. I loved the feeling I got whenever we were together. You and I can literally do nothing but I’m my happiest when I’m with you and that’s when I realized you were more than just a friend to me. These last few years with you have made me the happiest man alive. You mean everything to me baby—I wish I would’ve told you this sooner so we wouldn’t have wasted time apart but I’ll make up for it the rest of my life—if you let me of course. I’ll take good care of you my love. I’ll continue to love you and give you the world on a silver platter. Y/n, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” 

You were sure if someone else were in your shoes, they probably would’ve said no right off the bat. Heartbreak really did change a person. It made your whole aspect on life change for the worse and you knew you weren’t the same person you were a week ago. But you’ve dreamt about this situation on many accounts. There were times where you’d sleep over Mark’s place and you’d stay up looking at him in admiration and thinking about what your future together would look like. 

Sure, you would have preferred this surprise before all the unfortunate events that happened, but you were excited and speechless nonetheless. You sank to your knees and sat down on his lap; bringing your hands up to his face and pulling his lips up to yours. You couldn’t help the snicker that fell from the back of your throat when you felt a tear fall from his eyes on to your cheek. His hands were tight on your waist as he deepened the kiss, licking and sucking on your lips before all but gently shoving his tongue in between your teeth. When you felt his excitement pressing against your core, you pulled away and ignored the choked out whine that fell from his lips as you placed your forehead against his. 

“Yes. I would love to marry you Mark. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you for coming back to me love.” 

The way he was looking up at you pulled on your heartstrings; you couldn’t wait to tell your mom of the news. You knew she would probably hit you with “I told you so” but she would also be extremely happy for you. He abruptly stood up and took you with him, wrapping your thighs around his waist. You knew exactly what his plans were as he made his way to your room and you were excited to say the least at what he was going to do with you.

Once the two of you entered the bedroom, he didn’t waste anytime throwing you on to the bed and attacking your face with kisses as he ran his hands along your body; needing to touch you everywhere. Right as he began dragging his fingers along your clothed heat, he gripped at your chin and made sure you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“You know, since your door is already broken, I don’t see any problem in breaking your bed also—ow! What? You’re going to be my wife one day soon, so it’s only natural for me to want to fuck the living shit out of you in celebration of our engagement—I’m actually starting to reconsider this whole marriage thing. Give me back that ring, I’m gonna go sell it and buy me the PS5–“

“You wouldn’t dare Tuan, I’ll end you—“

“Just shut up and let me love you damnit.” 

You couldn’t stop the laughter that came after his little complaint. You still had yet to process that Mark was currently on top of you, ready to make love to you and to show you just how much he missed you. He playfully poked your cheek to break you out of your trance and squeezed your butt as a force of habit. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m just really happy, that’s all.”

 He gave you his signature cheeky grin and left a long, sloppy kiss on your lips. 

“Good. That makes the two of us, and that’s the only emotion you’re going to feel now that you’re stuck with me. Now, let’s make up for lost time shall we?”

Can you ask daddy if he's got time To come and look at my front door? It got slammed last night And now it don't close right And just promise that you won't tell him everything And keep that pistol in the drawer Mama, please don't say I'm gonna laugh about this someday You didn't see the way he drove away

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? Oh, a broken heart

Can your knees give out from prayin' so hard? (Prayin' so hard) Can you go blind from cryin' in the dark? (In the dark) Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? A broken heart

[iggys-sous-chef]

There’s Something About You(r Love)

I am so behind, but here is my contribution to Ignyx week! I will finish these prompts, I promise, real life has just been in the way of my creative process lately.  Sorry for the late post @ignyxweek

Title: There’s Something About You(r Love) Pairing: Ignis x Nyx Chapter 1 of 7 Word Count: 2623 Rating: Went ahead and slapped on Mature, will most likely jump by the final chapter Warnings: None this chapter.

For ease of reading you can also check it out on my AO3

Ignis hurried from his car, holding his satchel against his hip as he jogged toward the building. Class had already started thirty minutes ago and he couldn’t believe that he, Ignis Scientia - the man who would probably show up early to his own fucking funeral - was late. He’d already missed warm ups, and he huffed as he took the steps two at a time to reach the glass double doors.

He had been eyeing his watch as the conference carried on. It was supposed to have ended at five, giving him enough time to change and get a cup of coffee before driving across the city to find a decent parking spot at the Lucian Artist League, and make it to the studio and get set up before class began at six.

As the meeting droned on, Ignis formulated a plan. At 5:15 it was skip coffee; at 5:30 it was screw the scenic spot and pay to park in the nearby garage ; at 5:45 Ignis was doing all he could to not tear his hair out.

This class was important to him. He’d heard the lectures from his uncle before. He'd heard every variant of art not being a real profession when he initially admitted it was what he wanted to do for a living. “Why do you think they're called starving artists?” he'd been asked time and again in mockery. Ignis believed that maybe if he just followed the path set before him that he could at least take some classes to hone his skill, make some friends.

Yet twice a week he was still met with disdain when he parted to head for the League. Both his Uncle and Lucis Caelum Enterprises claimed his Monday through Friday; the president's son, who now had a seat at the board of directors table, kept him busy beyond his scheduled hours. All he wanted was six hours a week. Two three-hour long classes. He didn't think he was asking for much, which was exactly why he didn't let the usual hang ups stopped him from enjoying his time at the studio.

But he'd also never been late before and he was still in his attire from work perfectly pressed slacks and a crisp button-down hugged his frame and place of his usual 2 large T-shirt and paint spotted jeans. He simply didn't have the time to day and if he ruined one outfit and the name of something he loved then so be it.

The door was locked when he arrived, so he knocked and waited. If his timing was correct, they should only be halfway into the first twenty minute set. He idly tapped the toe of his foot as he waited, wondering if maybe he should have just gone home. Being late was awkward and he felt like he was only causing undue trouble. However, when the door opened, he was met with a soft smile from one of the instructors.

“I was worried when I didn’t see you at the beginning of class,” she commented as she ushered him inside.

“My apologies, Gentiana, work ran late this evening.”

She nodded gently in understanding. “When the next set begins do a few sketches to warm up first.”

Ignis grabbed an easel and took up a vacant spot with a sigh, passing on a hello or two to his familiar classmates. The small bell they used to signal sessions and breaks rang and Ignis abandoned setting up his palette in favor of his sketchbook and pencils.

Of course, it was only as he looked up that he noticed they had two models today. In addition to Crowe, who he had grown accustomed to seeing every week, stood a man with his hip cocked to the side, head tilted. His eyes raked over his sun kissed skin and back up, noting the toned nature of his muscles, the minimalist tattoos, the scar on his chest, how his hair was combed back, braids adorning the sides, and gods when did a five o’clock shadow ever look that good?

Slate blue eyes slid over to him and Ignis froze, feeling his face warm. His lips curled upward a bit and Ignis quickly looked away to his blank page. His heart was pounding and he couldn't make heads or tails of it. It wasn’t as if this was the first male model in class, but there was something about him that just… left him speechless. He grabbed his pencil and began to sketch the basic pose, not letting himself focus too much on the details.Then he did quick sketches of different parts of him, focusing on the curve of his bicep, or the flex of his calf, or the delicate bend of his toes.

When the bell rang again both he and Crowe put their robes back on, huddling together to talk. “Nyx!” she had exclaimed in a hushed voice before Crowe grinned over at him as the man whispered something to her and Ignis found himself feeling warm again as he tore his attention away to finish setting up his paints. The bell rang again and the models moved back to the center, disrobing. Ignis swallowed as the man took a chair and sat facing him, leaning back against it, legs parted, the right one stretched out comfortably, the toes of his left foot hooked around the leg of the chair.

Ignis couldn’t help but feel like it was some sort of challenge aimed directly at him. He loaded his brush, not one to back down, and began to paint. Nyx watched the latecomer, who he’d learned from Crowe was named Ignis. He was an intense guy, eyes as deep and green as a forest glanced between the easel and his body. Nyx wanted to mess with him, good naturedly of course, but found himself fascinated by his attention. The blush was gone from his cheeks now as he worked diligently, and if Nyx concentrated he could make out his brush strokes amidst all the others.  

When he’d lost the bet with Crowe and had to join her for class, he thought it was going to be some dreadfully boring experience. Nyx was comfortable in his own skin, but he hadn’t anticipated the way his heart pounded as he got undressed behind the partition and draped the robe over his body. He hadn’t been prepared for the stares or feeling his his breath get stuck in his throat as he walked out with her and introduced himself. But after sitting through the warm up exercises he had relaxed considerably. With Ignis’ arrival though, there was just something about him that he couldn’t pinpoint. He looked out of place all fancied up - and it was easy to imagine the top buttons done up and a tie around his neck - whereas everyone else was casual and comfortable.

When the bell rang again, Ignis sat back and set his brush down, taking the picture from his easel as Gentiana came around to collect and set it to dry. Nyx couldn’t help but look at it, and to say he was in awe was a bit of an understatement.  In just twenty minutes Ignis had painted him so… beautifully, and Nyx did not feel egotistical at all admitting that to himself, because right then it was less about him as a subject and more about Ignis’ skill. He decided then that there was definitely more to him under that suit and perfectly coiffed hair.

The evening continued on in twenty minute increments, breaking in between for a quick stretch. The last two sessions were done in the same pose to allow the students more time to focus on their work, and Nyx found himself eager to see what Ignis would do, only to find himself a bit disappointed that he had chosen Crowe for his final piece that evening. He and Crowe went and got dressed behind the partition while the students cleaned up, their chatter rising in the once stillness of the room - compliments and critiques flowing like gentle water over river rocks.

“You should talk to him,” Crowe suggested quietly as she pulled her jeans up.

“Don’t know what you're talking about,” he replied just as cooly as he sat to pull on his shoes.

“Um… Ignis, the guy you asked me about and have been making eyes at all night.”

“Excuse you, I have not been making eyes at him. What does that even mean?”

She snickered. “That you were trying to picture him just as naked as you were…”

Nyx looked up to her, his expression flat. “You have quite the imagination you know.”

She scrunched her nose up. “Just go say hi and introduce yourself at least. Then you can thank me for cheating at that game and getting you to come with me tonight.”

His mouth fell open. “I knew it, you bitch,” he whispered through a smile.

She blew him a kiss. “You know you love me.”

“I dunno… I’m starting to have doubts.”

She tossed her jacket over her shoulder and shrugged before walking off with a wave and a reminder. “It’ll be your loss.”

Nyx stared down at the shirt in his hands before sighing and pulling it on over his head. He stood and finished buttoning up his jeans before grabbing his jacket and heading out from behind the partition. Crowe was already talking with some of the artists, looking at their work.  He spotted Ignis talking with Gentiana and it looked to be a rather private conversation as they were away from the other students. So he counted it as a loss and walked out. Besides, there was always the second class that week for another shot.

As luck would have it, Nyx didn’t need the second class. He’d ventured down the street to this little cafe that served one of his favorite desserts and had some of the best coffee this side of Insomnia. He could use a little pick me up and after ordering, settled in at a little table near the window. The fairy lights overhead twinkled and Nyx pulled out his phone while he waited. He had a message from Crowe already, asking why he bolted. And then if he’d had success talking to Ignis, sent with a winking emoji. He was about to ask her what she meant when the overhead bell chimed and who else walked in but Ignis himself.

Nyx watched him walk up to the counter, order, and pay. While he was standing there Nyx’s name was called and he strolled up, tucking his phone away with a grin. He grabbed his coffee and the tart he’d ordered and then flashed a dazzling smile Ignis’ way. He smiled politely in return, before doing a double take, eyes widening.

Ignis hadn’t been expecting to run into him here of all places - or ever again really. So when he glimpsed that smiling face he didn’t think anything of it, but that gentle curl of his lips is what grabbed his attention. How many times had he drawn that smirk? His heart and his voice stuttered. “It’s you.”

Nyx grinned. “Yeah, what a coincidence running into you here.”

Ignis blushed, or maybe it was because of the dim lighting that Nyx thought he did. “Yes… I usually stop here on my way in to class, but my time was cut rather short today. The coffee here is superb.”

“I think so, too.” Nyx scratched at the side of his neck. “Hey, this may be weird of me to ask, but you wanna join me?”

Being this close to him, seeing more of the detail of his face, how much softer it looked in the ambient lighting, Ignis couldn’t help but be drawn in. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Nyx gestured with a nod of his head as he took his order and Ignis followed him over to the table. “So, Nyx was it? My name is Ignis, it’s nice to meet you… you know, now that I’ve seen you naked.” He smiled a little as he glanced to him and then averted his gaze.

“Nice to meet you, too. Your work is really nice. I was a bit amazed at how quickly you can get all those details down.”

Ignis smiled a little. “Lots of practice. This is my third year at the League. I enjoy it quite a lot.”

“With your get up I didn’t quite picture you as an artist,” Nyx commented off hand as he unrolled his fork from the napkin and prepared to cut into the pastry.

“Oh… I do it for fun, it keeps me sane when the nine to five gets a little … suffocating.”

Nyx supposed he could understand, but then again he ran a bar with one of his childhood friends and so it felt more like play than work - not to say it didn’t have its moments of being downright exhausting. “What is your nine to five? Are you a lawyer or something?”

“Or something. Officially I’m an accountant, unofficially I’m also a secretary, errand boy, and baby sitter,” Ignis replied with a soft chuckle.

Nyx pulled a face. “Sounds tough, buddy.”

Ignis loved his work, when it wasn’t consuming his life. And the president’s son had become one of his better friends, yet he was still quite demanding. “You’ve no idea.” His name was called then and Ignis stood, excusing himself to retrieve his coffee and the slice of apple pie he had ordered.

Nyx let his gaze shamelessly follow him, thinking that suit had to be tailored to his body because it was criminal how it hugged his frame. He smiled as Ignis returned and they sat in companionable silence as they ate, offering up a sample bite of each other’s treats. As the food slowly disappeared Ignis began to look a bit nervous. He probably thought he was hiding it well, but Nyx was pretty keen on reading other people. Crowe called it creepy. But he thought it was a useful talent to have. It was the subtle actions really, the finger gliding along the fork, the slow way he scraped bits of crumbs into the pie or tapped the side of his cup before lifting it to his lips.

“Hey Nyx-” he began at the same time he sighed and said “Out with it Ignis.”

They both stared at each other in silence for a moment before Nyx softly laughed. “Go ahead, Ignis, what’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, Ignis steeled himself. “Would you model for me? Privately, that is.”

Nyx’s eyes widened; he hadn’t been expecting that question. “Come again?”

Ignis deflated a little. “Because of my schedule I only attend the night classes. We have a project due at the end of the month and I need a subject. I know we’ve only met, and I know nothing of your personal schedule, but I will pay you to make up for any loss of income,” he offered.

Nyx thought for sure when he offered to pay that Ignis was either very kind or very desperate - or perhaps a bit of both. He looked down into his empty cup and then back to him, and those intense eyes of his pinched in hope. Part of him was drawn to this man, had been ever since he saw him walk into class, and for whatever reason fate or coincidence had deemed for them to meet again. Perhaps it was just for this moment to happen.

He pursed in lips in mock thought, drawing out the moment and the look in Ignis’ eyes. He sighed and offered up another smile. “Buy me another coffee and you’ve got a deal.”

[taxesdeathtrouble]

going to be true, if you’ll let me

i really did write another gertchase fic huh

2600 words

medium angst with a happy ending + some good old team bonding

title is from Dinah Washington’s Come Rain or Come Shine

enjoy!

Technically, this is all Alex's fault. When they'd found the safe in Chase's father's office- his parents were out of town for a convention- Alex was determined to get it open that night. 'I'm almost there,' he'd say, 'just a few more minutes,' he'd say. Bullshit, Gert would think.

As much as she wants to know what's in the safe, the biggest rainstorm in months is raging outside, and Gert had wanted to get home before it got so bad she and Molly wouldn't be able to drive home.

Which, of course, is what happens.

So now the six of them are stuck at Chase's house for the night.

She catches his eye from the couch, and immediately looks away. She's not exactly avoiding him, but she is trying her damn hardest to get over him, because she's pretty sure he doesn't like her, and feeling the way Gert does is a waste of everyone's time.

The six of them are sat in the living room, and Alex is fiddling with the safe, Nico looking over his shoulder. She'd already tried using her staff, but it hadn't worked. Gert almost wants to commend Mr. Stein for figuring out how to block literal, actual, magic, but then she remembers he's a ritualistic murderer and mentally backtracks.

Molly is taking up the entire couch and also using Gert's thigh as a pillow, but she can't bring herself to push her off. She'd carried the ridiculously heavy safe all the way from the office on the third floor to the living room two floors down. She runs a hand over Molly's curls, then shivers.

"It's freezing here. Damn, Chase, you live like this?" Nico snorts at her joke, and she lets the small bit of validation distract her from what might basically be another few hours of waiting.

"Hey, my people come from warmth and sunshine. If we had a normal heating system we'd melt."

"And what people is that, gym rats or hair gel top customers?" She really shouldn't be talking to Chase right now. It always devolves into flirting so fast- for her, at least, and that is the opposite of what she should be doing.

"Hey, not all of us can roll out of bed looking like we just walked off a colour shampoo promotional shoot, leave me and my hair alone."

"Oh but you're just so easy to make fun of. How long does it take you to reach perfection before you leave the house? Do you have to get up early or do you get to class late?"

"As if you don't meticulously plan out your outfits every morning to look as cool and unique as possible." His mouth curls around the words with a smirk, and she has to look away, just for a second.

"Pssh, says the boy who wears variations of the same thing every day just because he knows it looks nice on him, wear something other than a Henley or Polo and we can talk." His cheeks are kind of pink and blotchy. it's a good look on him.

"Jeez, would you guys stop flirting? Some of us are trying to sleep!" Molly pokes her in the stomach, and Gert pushes her onto the floor. Gently, though. She's not that mean.

"Ow, just because I called out you and your dumb boyfriend doesn't mean you can push me. Wait, that's rude, sorry Chase," she says, turning to him like the scoundrel she is, "you're not dumb."

He chokes out a, "Thanks, Mols," before getting up and going to the Nico and Alex across the room, both of whom are two seconds from busting out laughing. Karolina, who's been quietly losing her fucking mind in the corner, stops when Gert throws her her best 'if you don't stop right now there will be hell to pay' look. She'd perfected it when Molly turned 11.

Eventually, Alex cracks open the safe. Inside is a tiny usb, which he then plugs into his laptop and before settling on the couch, eyes glued to the screen. He plugs in his earbuds, and it's clear he's not going to move an inch for the next couple hours.

Molly and Chase end up having to carry the safe back upstairs. Molly keeps saying she can do it herself, but there's no way Gert is going to send her sister into a coma when she can send her into a nice nap instead.

~~~~~

"So," Molly says as soon as the safe is put back, kicking the door closed with her foot, "Are you actually into my sister, or am I, like, hallucinating?" Shit, why is everyone calling him out today?

"Um. We're not dating, if that's what you mean. Not that I don't want to date her, because," he looks away, choosing his words carefully, "because she's awesome, and so great, but I feel like I threw away my shot when I all but ignored her for Karolina, which was dumb, especially since she's literally a lesbian, how oblivious can I be, right?"

He hears a thud, and realizes looking away from a girl with power triggered narcolepsy right after using said powers was probably a bad idea.

~~~~~

Chase comes down the stairs holding a sleeping Molly in a bridal carry like it's the easiest thing he's ever done, laying her down on the couch as gently as possible. It really is unfair that he's so hot and so caring all at once. Pick one, right?

The five of them (Alex is trying his damndest to break that firewall tonight) fiddle with their phones for a few minutes, but even that gets boring after a while.

"Hey," Karolina says, hesitantly, "Do you guys want to play never have I ever? Or two truths and a lie? Or something? There's no point in just waiting in silence for Alex to get through the firewall."

"Um," Gert says, "Sure?" she's not wrong, and hey, it could be.....fun?

"Alright, so what are we gonna play? I vote never have I ever," Nico says. Chase agrees, and goes to grab the drinks with the lowest alcohol content for everyone but Molly, who just gets soda.

"I figured no one actually wanted to get drunk tonight, so." They sit in a small circle, Chase on one side of her and Karolina on the other.

"I'll start, I guess?" Nico says, "Never have I ever gotten arrested."

Gert takes a drink, but she's the only one to do so. Nico looks as surprised as she is, clearly she thought that should've gotten more.

"Okaayy," she says, "since I was the only one to drink, I guess I'll go? Never have I ever shown up to school hungover." Chase and Nico both take a drink.

"Never have I ever...." Chase starts, "fallen asleep at a random time." Molly groans and takes a drink.

"That's not fair, but if you want to play that way, fine." she looks around the group, a little devilishly, then says, "Never have I ever had strong feelings for someone in our friend group, and if it's more than one person you finish your glass." Gert is going to fight her sister.

"Molly, I'm going to sic my dinosaur on you," she says, then takes a drink, as does Karolina. Nico looks at her glass indecisively like she can't decide, Karolina watching her without subtlety as she finishes off her drink.

Chase tips back his glass for a long drink, then places it in front of him.

It's empty.

Molly winks at her when she catches her eye before Karolina starts.

"Never have I ever snuck out of the house."

Everyone but Molly drinks, and the next hour devolves from there, even after they switch to two truths and a lie.

"Seriously, though, it is absolutely freezing in here," she says, after they'd decided to stop playing, for fear they'd wake up Molly. She'd fallen asleep a few minutes ago, and the four of them left wanted to let her sleep.

"Do you want my sweater?" Chase asks. Yes yes yes i am so cold yes.

"Uh, I'm good, thanks." She can't, okay. It would only fuel the pros section of why she shouldn't fight her crush on Chase. It's starting to become a big list.

But Chase doesn't have ears, apparently, because he pulls off his sweater, a soft grey hoodie that's big even on him, and tosses it to her.

She immediately pulls it over her head, begrudgingly thanking him and smiling despite herself.

The sweater is as soft as it looks, and worn at the wrists, clearly very old. She burrows into it, smells the scent of his Givenchy cologne that she knows he has, Chase, she saw it on his nightstand- and something else that she hasn't ever been able to place, even when they were younger. She pulls up the hood, because damn, she really is freezing.

~~~~~

Oh.

Oh, shit, why did Chase do this to himself.

~~~~~

She falls asleep in the hoodie.

By 11:30, everyone was tired, so Chase found pillows and blankets, and Nico forced Alex off his laptop to get some sleep. They all mutually agreed Molly should get the couch, and lie down in a circle in almost the same spots as when they were earlier, Alex taking Molly's place. Gert curls into a ball, tucks her legs under the sweater and pulls the blanket up over her ears, knowing that she wont fall asleep but trying anyway. Since they'd learned about their parents, her insomnia had gotten worse, though it was manageable. But on the floor? In someone else's house? No way she'll fall asleep before 4 AM.  

Waking up the next morning, Gert doesn't want to get up. She actually gotten a bit more sleep than expected last night, and she's so warm, and her pillow is so comfortable.

But she cracks an eye open anyways, because her pillow happens to be moving.

She's got her arm thrown across Chase's stomach, her head resting on her chest. Their legs are tangled together, and Chase's arm is wrapped around her, holding her close, almost protectively.

Or, alternatively, he won't let go and Gert is going to die from emotional overload. Right here, right now. Screw getting their parents put in jail, screw solving the mystery; Gert is going to keel over and die right now.

"Chase," she says, poking him, "Wake up."

"Five more minutes, babe," yep, she's going to die. The epitaph on her gravestone is going to read, 'I blame Chase Stein.'

And Chase doesn't even have the decency to loosen his grip, if anything, he pulls her closer.

She sighs, and almost considers just...letting it be. Letting this happen. But as much as she wants to, she cant. She can't keep doing this to herself, you know? Chase doesn't actually like her, and she has to stop fooling herself into thinking he does.

So she reaches up and flicks his cheek, and when he reflexively moves his arm, she pushes away and fucks off to the bathroom for the next half hour.

When, she comes out, everyone is up. The storm still isn't giving up, though it's due to stop around noon. Alex is already tapping away, and the rest of the Scooby gang is in the kitchen while Chase attempts breakfast, though it seems like Molly is doing most of the work- for an overstressed fourteen year old, she has culinary skills.

"......Hey, guys." She says, trying to hide that she's nervous, though she doesn't really know why she is.  Though maybe it has something to do with the way Chase is looking at her, with stars in his eyes and a warm smile that she has to be misinterpreting, right? Right?

"Hey, you showed up. Kind of thought you passed out in there," Molly says, laughing, "Here, try this, would you? I'm trying to make our pancake recipe from memory but...." she holds out the spoon, and Gert leans forward and tastes the batter.

"Hmm," she says, "It needs blueberries, I think. Chase," she won't, can't, look at him, "blueberries?"

He takes them from the fridge and passes them to Molly, clearly trying to make eye contact with Gert, but she looks in the other direction, running her hands up and down the sleeves of Chase's sweater, that she's still wearing, somehow, in discomfort.

The pancakes are ready within the next fifteen minutes, and Nico drags Alex into the kitchen to eat. They sit together at the island and dig in, all drowning the pancakes in syrup because they're teenagers and it's required for teenagers to eat pancakes with too much syrup.

Chase is sat next to her, she couldn't avoid it, and he keeps trying to nudge her into the conversation. Prompting her, making a joke that she's obviously supposed to respond to, actually nudging her with his elbow. Any other day, she'd be able to do this. But right now, she doesn't even want to be here, she just wants to go home, eat ice cream, and wallow.

~~~~~

She won't look at him, she won't even talk to him. Chase knows that this morning was kind of.....weird, but in a good way, right? Maybe? Or maybe he really did fuck it up past repair, and there's no way they'll even be friends anymore.

God, he hopes not.

~~~~~

After they eat, they all start to head back to the living room, basically planning to stare over Alex's shoulder until the storm lets up, but Chase grabs her arm before she can leave.

"Hey, could I.......talk to you?"

"Well, we're already talking right now, but what's up?" ah, sarcasm, a girl's best friend.

He slides the door shut, steps closer, and says, "That's the thing, though, I'm not sure we are? Talking, that is. I feel like I messed up big time and then got amnesia. Gert, I know this morning must've made you uncomfortable, but it wasn't on purpose. Is there some big thing that I've done recently that upset you? If you tell me, I'll apologize, but I can't apologize for something that I don't know I did, you know?," he gestures with hands, the same way he always does when he's trying especially hard to get his point across.

"Listen," she says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "It's not anything you did, okay? You're......you're not at fault here, this is my thing, and I just need some time to deal, some time to fucking recuperate, I guess, and, and you don't have be any part of it, so just, just-" she has to pause slow her breathing, because she is not going to freak out right now, she is in control, she's okay.

Chase leans in and softly wipes away a tear making its way down her cheek with his thumb, cupping her cheek. "Not that you have to," he says, "but this would a bit more sense if you actually told me what the problem is." His hand is still on her cheek, and she has to resist the urge to lean into it, chase the warmth of him that she wants so bad.

".......Okay,"  is she actually doing this? What the hell, is she actually doing this? "Okay, okay, okay. I..........I have feelings for you. There. I said it."

And then she actually looks at him, makes eye contact for the first time since last night, notices the shots of green in his hazel eyes. Notices, for the first time, how he looks at her; like she put the stars in the sky and the moon was hung for her pleasure.

"Oh, Gert," he sounds unbearably soft. "Can I kiss you?"

She nods, even though she's a bit in shock, and he leans in. This is totally, absolutely, the opposite of how she thought this would go, but she's not complaining.

The kiss is soft, and kind of odd because neither of them can stop smiling, and really, that's a bigger prohibiter than she thought it would be, but whatever. It's the sweetest kiss she's ever experienced.

His other hand goes to her waist, and she twists her fingers into his shirt, and it's so, so good,-

"Hey, Gert, have you- holy crap!"

Molly is standing in the doorway, looking like she just touched a live wire. Whoops.

"Uh-"

"Um-"

"Nope!" she says, already turning around, "I don't need an explanation! Enjoy yourselves!"

They turn to each other and burst into giggles. Chase wraps one arm around her, pulling her in, and she presses her face into his chest.

Gert finally knows what it is he smells like, now.

He smells like home.

[thatsmolperson]

Date night

So... I did a thing. I happened to see one of my sister’s artwork and wanted to write something somewhat related. Enjoy!

Pairing: Promtis (Prompto x Noctis) Rating: SFW Word Count: ~980 Prompt: This artwork by my sister <3   @commanderboxers

Summary: Noctis and Prompto haven’t been able to spend much time together lately and Noctis decided he would do something about it.

“Where are we going?” Prompto questioned as he was putting on his coat and boots. The person with him, none other that the crowned prince of Lucis, smiled and let out a small hint of a laugh. “I told you. You’ll see when we get there.” The answer wasn’t quite to the blonde’s liking, but he finished getting dressed nonetheless and soon, they were out the door and on their way to their mysterious destination.

It didn’t take him long to recognize the path they were walking – he had been there so many times. He waited until they were finally arrived at their destination to give Noctis a puzzled look. “The surprise destination is your apartment?” He questioned. The other man offered no answer other than a smile and pulled open the front door before leading him to the elevator, then into the apartment.

Prompto was surprised to see it was nicely decorated for the holiday season. A decorated tree was in the living room and garlands and strings of light were nicely hung around the place.

As he looked around, a delicious smell made its way up his nostrils. “Whoa, what smells so good?” He exclaimed. He took a step forward before being pulled back by his coat. “Start by getting out of these, what do you say?” He looked down that the articles of clothing the other man was pointing at before realizing he still had all of his coat, scarf and boots.

Winter was cold in Insomnia, and the month of December was no exception. It didn’t take long before its citizens would put on warm coats to even take a short walk outside. On the upside, it allowed Prompto to dress in these oversized sweaters and turtlenecks he enjoyed so much for a good few months. As a bonus, Noctis couldn’t deny that he looked adorable in them.

After removing all of their extra clothing, the two of them stepped further in the apartment to lay on the couch. “So, what smells so good?” Prompto asked a second time. “Just wait here and you’ll know soon enough. Play a game or two without me, I’ll be right back.” It was… something, but far from the answer he had been expecting. Noctis got up and left towards the kitchen, out of Prompto’s sight, and started moving things around. A variety of delicious smells came to tease his nose – and appetite – as he tried to find a game to play on his boyfriend’s gaming console.

It didn’t take long until Prompto was too tempted and got up from the sofa to see what was going on in his lover’s kitchen. It wasn’t like Noctis to leave him out of the loop like this, and he wanted to find out what was going on. Plus, the smell coming from the kitchen was way too tempting.

“Seriously Noct, what are yo-“ he halted upon seeing on the table an impressive array of food and couldn’t help but notice the mouthwatering meat pies sitting in the middle of everything. Noctis looked at him as is he had been caught defacing a painting in the castle and shrugged in defeat. “And I was almost done setting up.” He stared at Prompto who was still eyeing everything on the table and seemed like he was just about to drool on himself. “Take a seat since you’re already here.” Prompto did as he was told.

“Who made all of this?” He had noticed the absence of the advisor. To his surprise, Noctis’ face turned a few shades of pink. “…. I did.”

Prompto stare in disbelief. “You... cooked? All of this?” He asked, gesturing at the food covered table. After a few seconds of hesitation, Noctis nodded. “I had Ignis help me, but he mostly told me what to do and checked that I didn’t screw anything up.” Even with the confession of Ignis’ help, Prompto was shocked. Noctis had cooked all of this. Just for him. And he had done his favourite meal: Meldacio meat pie.

“I uh.. I’m impressed, to be honest” he began “but why did you do all of this?”

Noctis grabbed the last few items he had been meaning to put on the table and sat down across his boyfriend. He stared back at Prompto who had yet to blink. “Because… I wanted to do something special for you. It’s like I’m never around and barely available lately. My father’s been dragging me to so many of these boring meetings and constantly increases my amount of training with Gladio. I thought you and I would have more time together once we graduated, but I was apparently very wrong.” He paused to look at Prompto who still seemed mildly surprised. “I missed you.”

That was all it took for Prompto to get up from his spot and within seconds, close the space between the two of them with a hug. They stared at each other for a moment before he finally whispered “I missed you too.” and leaned in for an overdue kiss.

It was true what Noctis had said; they hadn’t seen each other much lately because Noctis was always busy with his royal duties. And when finally, he was available, it was Prompto who was busy with work. Noctis had called two days ago asking if he was available tonight and to not plan anything. He hadn’t gone much into detail other than saying they’d spend the evening together and eat a nice diner.

One kiss turned into another, and another, and Prompto was soon seated in Noctis’ lap, before the prince parted their lips with a chuckle. “How about we eat it while it’s warm? I didn’t spend the after-noon being bossed by Ignis to let the food go cold.” Prompto couldn’t agree more and got up after stealing one last kiss. “Let’s dig in!”

[fictionsofriverdale-blog]

Helpless (Part Five)

Summary: Jughead is shocked when his sister turns up on his doorstep. But not everything is as it used to be.

A/N: Please let me know if you want a part five!

WARNINGS: Description of sexual abuse, alluding to abuse, alluding to sexual abuse, swearing

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Mum was at work, and I was scrambling in the fridge for something to eat. I had gotten pretty good at cooking recently, I mean, Mum was always at work, and Greg was useless in the kitchen. He always ate out, and sometimes took me with him, but not anymore. I had been avoiding him recently, I was pretty sure he had been watching me in the shower, so I had started showering at school, wearing baggier clothes, covering my body.

 I heard his truck pull up outside and I closed the fridge, my breathing hitched, and the hairs on my arms stood up. Mum wasn’t going to be home for a few hours. We were all alone. As the front door opened and closed behind him, I turned and began walking toward my bedroom. I heard footsteps behind me and I hurried forwards. I could hear his heavy breathing closing in on me, and suddenly I was hit square in the middle of my back; pushed forward. I stumbled and fell through my bedroom door. A pain shot through my arm as it struck the door handle, and I screamed.

 Big hands grabbed my hips and rolled me over so that I was lying on my back. I tried to scream again but one of Greg’s hands covered my mouth and nose, the other pulling my hands above my head and holding them tight.

 “Don’t you dare fucking scream” he growled, bringing his mouth so close to my face that I could feel his breath on my skin. “I know you want this. The way you talk to me, the way you look at me.”

 I squirmed beneath him, and his hand tightened over my wrists. He pulled his hand away from my mouth and I began to scream. He slapped me across the cheek, and I was stunned. My ears were ringing and my vision swam. Using his now free hand, he yanked my leggings down along with my underwear and pushed his fingers into me. Tears streamed down my cheeks. It felt like I was on fire, it burned where his fingers ripped me apart, tore me into a million pieces.

 Suddenly his fingers were gone, and he had lined up against my opening, a murderous look in his eyes.

 “No, please, please-no, no” I begged, squirming my hips away from him. He picked up my wrists in his hand and slammed them into the ground, sending shooting pains up both arms. His other hand grabbed my hip and pushed me into the carpet and then moved to my stomach where he put all of his weight into me. The breath was pushed from my body, and my eyes burned, lungs gasping for air.

 He pushed into me and, oh my god, it hurt so much, I felt like I was bleeding, being sliced into tiny pieces, his body breaking mine. My eyes screwed shut as I continued to gasp for air, black spots appeared on the edges of my vision, I tried to scream, but nothing came to me.

 “Jelly, Jellybean, please wake up, please..” I was being shaken awake, and a scream filled the room. “Hey, shh, shh, it’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you..” Jughead was soothing, hands gently cupping my face, wiping tears from my cheeks. The scream had been coming from my own lips, and my throat felt hoarse.

 The floodgates had opened, and tears rolled freely down my cheeks. He pulled me into his chest, and I buried my face in his shoulder, clinging to his vest as he stroked my hair and back.

 “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Jug” I mumbled into his clothes and he held me tight. Upon hearing these words, he pulled me back and looked into my eyes.

 “It’s not your fault, you know that right?” He looked at me, eyes flickering across my features, studying my reaction. When I didn’t respond he raised his eyebrow and waited.

 “Yeah” I mumbled and tried to pull closer to him again, needing to be held together in this moment, but he didn’t let me.

 “You do know that, right? You didn’t deserve- fuck, no one deserves what he did to you. This wasn’t your fault, JB.” He repeated, eyes piercing mine.

 I looked down at my lap and avoided his gaze. After a beat, he brought his thumb and forefinger to my chin and gently lifted my face to meet his once again.

 “What is it?” he whispered.

 “they said- they said that I asked for it, that I teased Greg with what I was weari-“ Before I could finish, Jughead’s eyes went dark, and I cut myself off, tears welling in my eyes again.

 “Motherfuckers” he growled, letting the word float around the room before he spoke to me again. “They said you asked for it? What the fuck?”

 “Greg said I had been teasing him with the clothes that I wore and- and, at first, mum didn’t know… he would only come to my room when mum was at work. He told me that I couldn’t tell her, that if I did, I would be put into foster care…I had nightmares about it, about going into foster care, he said it would be worse there…”

 Jughead wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his shoulder once more but continued talking. Now that I had started, I had to get it out. I had told Jughead that mum knew, but he hadn’t asked for more details. I think he had been in shock or trying not to push me too far, or both.

 “One night, it got really bad. He had slapped me a couple of times before, it was his way of keeping me quiet – he didn’t have the brains to use anything other than brute force – but tonight was different. I could smell the whisky on his breath as he mumbled against my ear. When he left my room after- after it was over” Jughead bristled beside me “I decided I had to tell mum. I couldn’t take it anymore…It was too much…”

 “JB, it was always too much, you shouldn’t have had to take any of it, I’m so sorry this happened to you” he whispered, hand stilling on the back of my head, making me feel held together.

 “Anyway, when mum came home, I snuck into their bedroom while she was getting changed. Greg was watching TV in the other room. I closed the door and told her everything. She was angry, Jug, really angry. I thought she was angry at him…” tears fell again, pooling on Jughead’s shoulder as my body trembled.

 “She was angry at you?” Jughead gasped, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his lap, raising his knees so that I was surrounded by all of his limbs. He held me tight, keeping me safe as his head fell back against the headboard with a soft thud. “How could she be angry with you Jel? You are the victim, he- he raped you…” he breathed out, gruffly.

 “She thought I had done it on purpose, thought I had seduced him.” I spat out the word. “That’s when I left. I packed a bag with as much as I could carry, grabbed some money out of mom's purse, and got on the first bus to Riverdale. I couldn’t stay there anymore, I didn’t feel safe…”

 “You’re safe now,, ” he said, rubbing my back, “I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

 “I know, Jug” I mumbled, curling myself into a ball and tucking my head against my knees and his chest. I don’t know how long we stayed like this, but when I woke up, Jughead’s arms were draped around me, his head leaning at an awkward angle, and his mouth open, snoring lightly.

 Stiffly, I stretched myself o and crawled out of the bed. He needed to sleep. I had woken him up every night, multiple times since I arrived, and despite his history of insomnia, he had never looked more tired. I showered quickly, a habit that had developed over the last few years. Showering still made me nervous, made me feel exposed. I quickly dried myself and pulled on a hoodie and leggings.

 Just as I was making my way to the kitchen, there was a quiet knock at the door that had my heart jumping into my chest. I braced myself against the kitchen counter and tried to steady my breathing. Eventually, I made my way toward the front door, pulling aside the curtain to look through the little window next to the door.

 My heart jumped into my throat and I nearly fell backwards. Panic gripped my whole body, causing me to shake and tremble. My knees buckled and I slid down the wall, landing softly on the floor. Jughead emerged from his bedroom at just this moment, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning widely.

 His eyes scanned the room and landed on me shaking in the corner of the room. My knees were pulled up in front of me protectively, my elbows resting on my knees and my face buried in my forearms. My hands were buried in my messy hair. He rushed over and crouched next to me, resting one hand on my shin and the other on my shoulder.

 “Hey, shhh, it’s okay, what is it?” he murmured, trying to soothe me.

 I raised my head and looked at him, my eyes wide and red-rimmed, and his breath caught in my throat at the sight of me.

“It’s him. He’s here. It’s Greg” I whispered, tears filling my eyes and my body began trembling again.

[allmymisters]

For the Love of 2018 - GOOOOOAAAAALS!

I didn’t get the black stallion I was hoping for this year. I tend to have high expectations I suppose. 2018 had its splashes of cherished moments in addition to downright depressing hidden gems. The sudden losses of very dear friends for one. Those were blows I was not prepared to experience and, screw you 2018 for giving me those moments. I’m no stranger to tragedy (have you read this site?), but this year’s tragedies were a vast array of empathetic reassurances that there is no explanation for the sheer magnitude of such occurrences nor through any fault of their own. It just sucks to have to go through it and you’ll be struggling with it for the rest of your life.

I think everyone was stressed the hell out this year. Frustrated and angry, there were a lot of opinions and entertaining thoughts on where we should or should not be, as a society and as a nation. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the weight of the world as I did this year. I didn’t like people before, but 2018 proved how much my contradictory persona could take. Humanity is a raw and evil sort of thing letting way to bursts of sunlight at any given moment which results in confusion and downright rage. I was deleted, blocked, called names, and asked to duel a few times this year, all for, having a valid belief that my truth is not your truth. On the other hand I learned some people I’ve known a majority of my life have some really skewed views of what they support. Speaking of ending relationships…my friend of 15+ years decided that she could no longer remain in our relationship and instead broke up with me on the grounds of…This is unknown at this time as to why our oh so dear friendship came to an abrupt end and was not worthy of any explanation whatsoever. Marriage, babies, narcissism…you know, the silent killers of friendships. It seems pointless to say, but it did open my eyes to how I expect to be treated in life. So, first there was the lack of closure that came with my ex husband and now once again, another uncommunicated shut down. Hmmm…is it me? Did I not give enough? I give too much, more than I should in a lot of instances. People are just weird.

For the first time in a really, wait, ever, I felt like I accomplished something. This little project being one of them. Nobody cares what I write or do or say or feel. I know this. The difference is, I don’t care anymore, it is my therapy, my cathartic medium to deal with my life that will hopefully help others in a relatable and true sense. It truly is the first time I’ve consistently followed through with my own idea, not someone else’s, but mine. What made my year was receiving some very heartfelt thanks yous and that was enough for me. To make another feel better or to move someone with words, that is my art. For the first time in my life I am proud. All the work I’ve done this year, I am proud of, and worked hard for, and it felt like I had just finished a marathon. A marathon I’ve been running for 45 years. What a fulfilling thing, right?

I promise to get to the good parts soon, but not yet, I have to finish through the hard layer first before I get to the chewy center where rainbows shoot out of the asses of babes. Reaching 45 was difficult. Harder than anything I’ve ever done, and with that came a dreadful revelation. I came to terms that my physical self is no longer twe—, I mean, thirty-five. No longer do I feel I can climb fences, dance the night away or have a slap boxing match without being completely winded in ten minutes. The white hair that has accompanied my raven locks is disorienting, and the extra pounds which make me cry on most days because what women doesn’t want to look hot in her skinny jeans, but instead replaces her lacy unmentionables with…COTTON!? It has affected me profoundly. One thing they don’t tell us women getting older is how terrifying it is, physically and mentally. How we don’t feel attractive, how I cannot look anyone remotely attractive in the eye, and how the thought of donning a bathing suit would suddenly feel absolutely horrifying. They don’t tell you of the anxiety, the insomnia, and what the discovery of cellulite does to a woman or that missing a period will make you feel absolutely regretful and sad. How forgetful one becomes as she frantically tries to locate the cell phone she is currently speaking on or wishing for her tiny boobs of 34Bs again instead of this, what is this blob coming out of the side of my bra. I know, I really shouldn’t care. I have a mister who loves me as I am, but ladies as we know they can tell us we are gorgeous all day long but in the end it only matters is we feel uncomfortable, and I know, boo hoo right? Get over it and be stronger right? I will eventually, I just don’t like it.

I suffered my first panic attack and god forbid, my last. I had no idea. For all those who suffer this on a constant basis, I am so very sorry. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced, to be in small out of town diner, while you sit across from your loved one. A regular morning waiting for a server who doesn’t come while you are reminiscing about the spectacular night you’ve had together, and then for no reason at all, it happens. As I sat there with cold hands and irregular heart beating, body feeling disconnected, I imagined how awful it is that I, ME, was going to die in this amazingly terrible diner amongst strangers. For about 30 minutes, I concluded that it would be as easy as that and I looked at him and thought, at least I was loved and had loved again.

It’s a odd spectrum of emotions when you lie in bed at night and what used to be something so easily attainable becomes a labyrinth of questionable moments in life.

Why did I have chocolate tonight? Why did that person not text me back? Am I ever in my life going to fucking be appreciated for the work I do? Why am I so very broke and why did I just spend $14.99 on an Adobe app? Does he still find me attractive? Why didn’t I have children? Was i supposed to have children? Do people think I’m stupid? Did I go over 1200 calories today? How could there have not been one single carton of 2% milk!? Shit, I forgot to buy saline solution again! I hope my parents don’t die soon, what if I die before them…

And it goes on and on throughout the night. So yeah, lots of things occurred in 2018 I’ve never experienced before. Thanks for the new adventures! I found very little to say in 2018, not in person at least. I’ve embraced my Aquarian aloofness this year. I disconnected like I’ve never done before and found myself in very little meaningful conversations in the outside world. It baffled me really. For the first time in my life verbal exchanges were challenging. I just couldn’t connect. It was as though someone had taken my speech and turned it into a whole new non-language causing me tongue tied instances of pure lack of eloquence and articulation…embarrassing. Are you wondering about the good parts?

2018 was transitional to say the least. We got out of a very small apartment with a devil of a landlady into a very beautiful house in a new neighborhood. I really fell in love with being home. This place feels like a haven and despite still looking at unpacked boxes and unfinished furniture, it has become a place to relax and entertain at my whim. I am now the proud owner of a fire pit and a grill! Who knew such small domestic luxuries could bring about such sweet comfort! I tried to buy a house this year which didn’t pan out as I wanted it, but sometimes there’s a bigger plan. In turn, I sold my first house as a real estate agent this year which brought me a feeling of accomplishment. I can do it! Yes I can! A motto that held little weight before. Small, but an endeavor I never thought I’d ever add to my repertoire. I often wonder if I’m just real comfortable doing then jobs at once.

Karaoke. The activity that I refused to do in any public place became commonplace in 2018. Somehow singing Concrete Blonde and Leslie Gore brought a silent release for me and just the sheer gathering of friends in these instances made me genuinely joyous. The fact that people wanted to spend time with me, strange as that may be, was the one thing I felt humanly connected to. I felt strangely isolated most days. I attended a wedding, reconnected with family, and watched a lot of soccer. Simple joys. I was involved in a study about race and gender, wrote about people I admire, and received notes of praise. I read stories at night, saw tons of music, and dreamt of distant lands. I ate delicious meals, watched tons of film, and dove into photography. I wrote words. I said goodbye to the past. I made amends. I attoned and forgave. I laughed harder than ever and I cried seldomly. I felt loved. It went quickly and I suppose as we age it goes by at lightning speed. I long for the days of long summers and spontaneous trips.

What will 2019 be? I can only hope for less death, less loneliness, less heaviness. I am wondering if I too have become nothing but 1s and 0s and perfectly angled moments. Who will reach out, if anyone, to say hello that isn’t summed up in an abbreviated expression. Will the “We need to hang out” become an actual instance of beverages and exchanges of laughable tales or will it be the continuous cycle of empty efforts spread across another year. There are no resolutions for me, there is just a continuous wanting to better the briefness of existence. I want to read more books, see more music, cry at art, take better pictures, write more stories, take more trips, share more experiences, find inspiration, and motivate to healthier habits and less sour cream and onion chips at midnight. I want to shoot bows and arrows, play more pool, and swim in the ocean. I want to see my nieces and nephew, take my mom someplace new, and visit my dad. We always have such high hopes in the beginning don’t we? The ending of one cycle, packed with memories in our virtual treasure box, and the rebirth and renewal of new ones. Isn’t that the beauty of it all? What will this new skin look like? What stories will I tell next…