#but little baby me had their entire album for some god awful reason

[applecherry108]

Fuckin YouTube ad for some Gucci shit…

BABEY THATS SHAMPOO!! THATS MY 90s LIPSTICK LESBIAN DUO!!! Fine whatever, it’s a Miley cyrus cover, BUT THATS SHAMPOO BABEY!!!

[furikakyo]

a return to roots | 4

pairing: kita shinsuke x f!reader

summary: y/n is a rising star in the music industry, having almost everything you could have ever hoped for as a small-town country girl. now after releasing two triple platinum albums in consecutive years, you face the dreaded artist’s burnout… in order to recover, your manager suggests, you should return to your hometown in hyōgo for a long-deserved break. 

genre: socmed/smau, slice of life 

warnings/tags: timeskip!, mutual pining, slow burn? more like rekindling, slight canon divergence

masterpost 

If you were to be completely honest, you'd wanted to wear a dress you’d been allowed to keep after a photoshoot. However, it wasn't a good look for someone of your status to re-wear outfits, especially statement pieces. You couldn't remember who had designed it, but it had been mostly tulle and made you feel like a princess... all things that could not be used to describe what you were wearing now. For your dinner plans, you chose to wear a simple yet smart-looking bodycon dress, one that you were regretting as you stepped out of the car. You pulled at the hem from over the long coat you wore, conscious of the fact that there could potentially be paparazzi waiting to snap a photo of you from an unfortunate angle if you weren't paying close attention. Unlike American paparazzi, reporters here didn't flock at the entrances of exclusive clubs or restaurants, but it never hurt to be cautious.

"I won't need a ride home," you told Ichiro, who nodded stiffly and then shut the door of the car after you got out, “I can get a ride home."

You adjusted the sunglasses on the bridge of your nose, aware that you looked out of place in the nightlife, and then walked to the doors of the hotel. A concierge opened the door to greet you and Ichiro, who trailed behind, scanning the area. "Welcome, Miss. Your party called ahead and made us aware of the arrangements to be made. You can follow me to the elevator, where I will escort you to your destination."

"Thank you," you said coolly, then took after them. While in the elevator, the concierge spoke nervously, emphasizing how much of an honor it was for someone like you to visit their establishment. You smiled politely, silently willing the elevator to reach the right floor faster.

A restaurant specializing in molecular gastronomy, Kuroo had explained to you on the phone the night before. He'd sounded probably the most excited you'd ever heard him. You had looked it up yourself after the call had ended. It was on the 29th floor of a luxurious hotel, one that you had never been to yourself. Only eight people max were allowed to dine in, and the chef made all of the food in front of you, four courses.

You were dragged out of your thoughts when the elevator finally dinged and the concierge guided you to the glass doors of the restaurant, where Ichiro recognized the occupants and left you alone to be greeted by Kuroo, Lev, his sister Alisa, and, surprisingly, Kenma. You took off your sunglasses and slipped them into the pocket of your coat before that too was taken by a waitress, who calmly swept them away from you and into a closet, presumably.

"Hi, guys!" you gave a bright smile and then slipped into the empty seat in between Kenma and Alisa.

"We thought you might want to sit next to Alisa," Kenma explained quietly, tugging on the collar of his dress shirt.

You smiled again, settling into the chair. "Thanks," you nodded your head. "You look nice, too, Kenma! You're all dressed up!"

Kuroo leaned back to make eye contact with you, laughing. "He almost cancelled on dinner plans with us when he heard that he couldn't wear his sweatpants. He lives in sweatpants exclusively."

Kenma sighed, muttering under his breath, "Maybe I wouldn't if you didn't make a big deal about whenever I'm not." Only you heard his comment, since he was on the edge of the table, but you didn't have any time to reply because the head chef came out of the kitchen, accompanied by a couple of workers behind him, holding the ingredients.

One by one, each round of dishes came and went. Earlier, you'd been worried about wearing a bodycon dress because of the impending food baby you were sure to conceive, but with only dessert left, your stomach felt hardly filled with the sizes of the previous dishes. The process of making each one was mesmerizing to watch, and the flavor profile of each small bite was beyond anything you could have initially imagined when the plates were gently placed in front of you-

You watched the chef spoon generous amounts of black caviar onto the dish. Not dessert, you corrected yourself. Why did you assume to get a deconstructed piece of fried dough when they had called the dish "Donut"? You eyed the tweezers which carefully placed tiny, delicate flowers on top of the spread. A single waiter poured out flutes of champagne and then distributed them to you and your friends, the only noise in the room the fizzing of bubbles in your drink. In fact, the entire affair had been silent aside from the head chef, who explained each meal to your group.

Once the waiter and chef cleared the room, Lev was finally the brave soul to break the silence, who cleared his throat and then, turning to you, asked, "So Y/N, you're moving back home, huh? Is there anything to even do there?”

You knew Lev didn’t mean to say anything offensive, but it still stung a little. He was just blunt to a fault sometimes, you reminded yourself, instead giggling and sending some witty remark back at him which made everyone burst into laughter. You shivered a little, finished the last of your remaining champagne in one undignified gulp, then stared out at Tokyo's skyline, shining and glittering like stars. It was cold in the room, you decided. Ridiculously air-conditioned to the point where you would be glad when you got your coat back and could leave.

The rest of the get-together flew by, only spending a little longer in the restaurant before exiting into the lobby. Kuroo had agreed to drive you back to your apartment, since he'd taken his own car and hadn't drank a lot. Lev gave you a bear hug and told you he would miss you, and that he would try to visit if his modeling schedule worked out in favor of it, but he wasn't sure. Alisa also hugged you tightly, telling you to take care of yourself in the countryside, to which she wrinkled her nose at playfully. When it came to Kenma you refrained from a hug, knowing that he didn't like physical contact. He gave a small smile, appreciative. "I might visit sometime; we can play Animal Crossing."

Then, just like that, the three of them left, Lev and Alisa taking the same car and Kenma having a driver. Kuroo turned to you and raised an eyebrow. "Well? Ready to go?"

You nodded, following him to the front where a valet had already pulled Kuroo's car to the curb, waiting for the two of you. Once inside, you pressed your forehead to the cool window, your breath fogging up the glass. Kuroo made no comment, the only sound to be heard the traffic in the streets.

For what seemed like a few minutes later, you felt yourself being gently shaken awake. "Y/N?" Slowly, you roused, rubbing at your eyes sleepily. You froze, sitting up. Shit, you'd had mascara on.

"Y/N?"

You turned to see Kuroo looking slightly concerned, but you just waved your hand at him. "I'm awake now. Thanks for the ride."

He stared at you, opened his mouth, then shut it promptly, stopping you from opening the car door. You rarely saw him speechless or without something to say. "What's wrong?" You frowned, trying to think of what could be worrying him or making him act like this.

Kuroo shook his head then leaned back in his seat. He scratched the back of his head and looked down. "I'm not sure how to say it, so I'm just going to say it." Immediately you felt dread in the pit of your stomach. Oh, god. Did he have, like, a middle-school crush on her? Was he tongue-tied? You did not want to lose one of your closest guy friends; plus, if you weren't friends with him anymore then you couldn't really be friends with Kenma-

"I'm worried about you, Y/N. Just... take care of yourself in Hyōgo, alright? You're there for a reason; to take a break." He ran a hand through his hair again, nervously. "You know what I'm saying? So just take care of yourself. Don't eat junk food all the time, it's not good for you. Also don't stay indoors all the time, it's good to get outside. You need to synthesize vitamin D," Kuroo rambled, "it's good for your skin, too-"

Finally you broke your silence, smiling and laughing at him. "Aw, Kuroo, you nerrrd," you socked him on the arm, evoking an 'ow' from him. "You're so sweet, what the hell? And don't worry, I'll be fine! I'm great at taking care of myself!" You gave him a thumbs up. When he looked at you dubiously, you added on, "Kaa-san and Tou-san don't live too far from where we used to live, so I can go to them if I need to, too." After a pause, more giggles bubbled out. "I thought- I was really scared that you liked me," you cackled, going into hysterics when he made a face. "I know, I know- I just got worried because I didn't know what you were going to say."

Kuroo rolled his eyes. "Uh, no, I don't like you. Not even platonically, after this," he grumbled, already getting into his theatrics. "I can't believe you're harassing me for caring. You're awful, Y/N!"

You opened your car door, still laughing. "Ok, ok, I'm awful, I'll admit it." You shut the door, and Kuroo rolled down the window.

"Whatever. Just make sure Osamu is driving safely. And text us when you get there. And," he levelled his gaze with yours, "do whatever you feel is best about Kita. Hopefully you take this break to sort through your feelings." Without giving you any time to retort something, Kuroo peeled off in his car, leaving you alone.

Quickly, you made your way into your apartment and finally took off your heels, leaving them near the entrance and sighing when you could walk flat-footed on the cool floor. Next you took off your coat and threw it on the couch, and instead of getting ready to sleep, jumped into your bed and face-planted into the pillows.

You fell asleep in less than five minutes.

You sent your Hyōgo address to Kenma and then flopped on your bed, accidentally banging your head on the headboard. “Fuck,” you hissed, clutching the back of your head. You sat there for a few moments, lamenting why you had to jump onto the bed and how the consequences of your action hurt so bad.

Then your stomach rumbled, begging to be filled, and you forgot everything you had been thinking about, making your way into the kitchen. You opened the fridge, peering in at the contents- or rather lack thereof. At least you didn’t have to worry about clearing your fridge by tonight, right?

Your stomach growled again as you shut the door, instead looking to the freezer. What did you have in there…? It slid open and you were glad to see that it wasn’t as empty as your fridge, rummaging through the frozen meals you had for a late-breakfast-early-lunch.

You pulled out a twelve pack of frozen gyoza and set it aside on the counter, pushing all of the other stuff back into the freezer. When you finally slid it shut again, you sighed in relief, and turned back to the food in question. You read the instructions on the back even though you were pretty sure it was easy to heat them up, and then turned the stove on. Pulling out a pot from your cabinet, you filled it with water and then set it on the stove, topping it with a lid to make the process faster.

Then you got to cleaning. Your apartment wasn’t all that messy since you didn’t spend a lot of time in it before going on hiatus, just a few stacks of paper filled with lyrics: some you’d tried working out, others hadn’t fit your two previous albums, but most you just didn’t like.

You checked on the pot of water to make sure it wasn’t boiling, and after seeing it wasn’t, you continued cleaning, moving into the kitchen once more. You scrubbed the plates and bowls you’d left in the sink for a couple days. Most of the stuff in the sink was silverware from eating takeout or having frozen meals, though.

When you heard and saw that the water was boiling, you added the gyoza and lowered the heat before going back to drying the dishes. By the time you were done with the task, your dumplings were ready, and so you turned off the stove and took the pot off. With a pair of chopsticks, you scooped up the gyoza and placed them onto a plate. You’d eat six and then leave the other half for dinner, you decided, putting them in a bento box for storage and then the fridge.

“Ah…” You sat down on the couch with your food and then turned on the TV, watching mindlessly and eating your gyoza one by one. After a couple of hours, you got up, washed and dried the dishes you’d just used, and then finally went to your room to pack.

Should you take all of your clothes with you? It’s not like you knew how long you were planning to stay in Hyōgo, so should you just pack everything, then? You opened up your closet all the way, clearing out the sections of your regular clothing and placing them on your bed. You turned back to your closet, now significantly emptier. All that was left were things you’d worn on tours or designer pieces you’d been allowed to keep. Most of them you could look at and remember the venues you’d worn them to; recall the quality of your performance and how big the crowd was. It would be pointless to take them with you, right? You couldn’t wear a custom Versace piece to the middle of nowhere.

You sighed and shut the closet door with a resounding thud, and then turned to face the monster pile of clothes you were going to try to fit into two large suitcases…

Ah shit, and you hadn’t even begun to think about shoes.

a/n: help the chapters keep getting longer even though i outline for this fic????? h o w

taglist (pm me to ask to be added): @papiibuprofen​, @duhsies, @succulentmom​​

some ~fun facts~ 

- lev and alisa are models, as in canon

-the food was served in test tubes and other scientist apparatuses LMAO (kuroo got really excited because he’s a chem nerd)

- i based the restaurant off of an actual one in japan but changed some things about it... so for legal reasons™️ all similarities are a coincidence 🧍‍♂️

- i hope y/n doesn’t sound whiny but i find molecular gastronomy to be super esoteric,,, reminds me of that bar scene in parks and rec lmao

- kenma tucks his sweatpants into his socks like the wrestlers at my old high school do... this is unfortunately also canon... 

- yaku couldn’t make it to the dinner event because he’s still in russia, playing volleyball there. he will be coming back to play for japan in the olympics!

- kuroo drives even though he drank a little... don’t do this

- kuroo is NOT interested in y/n romantically 

- i made two kita shirts with my friends during a haikyuu watch party we had… my favorite one got a little messed up and i’m sad 😃 edit: i fucking hate it here they got put in the dryer without my consent and now they’re both ruined ❤️

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision. 

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks.  He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

[ddejavvu]

im back ~~

hello mei!!!! how are you? i hope vvvv well, you deserve only the best <33 :o! i have news!!! i officially graduated thursday night!!! i now /have/ to go to college! my high school does a thing called project grad where all the seniors get to play games/win prizes for free as a celebration of us graduating (i'm so sure buena pours like thousands of dollars into it) some of the prizes include an ipad, between 100-1000 dollars, microwaves, fridges, PRINTERS??? and like some other college essentials, its really cool! the reason i'm talking about it is because my friend from phoenix came down for it!!! its a lock in sorta thing and it ended at 4am yesterday and its some of the most fun i've had in a while! one of my friends had four (4) energy drinks and a total of like 2000mg of caffeine in like 2 hours 😃 (i don't normally use this type of emoji but i feel the energy is correct) i saw some of my friends for (most likely) the last time and its honestly so bitter-sweet... like one of my friends i'm obviously going to see over the summer but hes going to college in NEW YORK !! i'm not ready to not see him :( but at the same time i got to spend time with friends i missed and people i know i will miss :( anyways! on a much lighter note :D hot came out!!! i havent had the chance to listen to the full album but i have full faith its amazing! have you listened to it/what song is your favorite? i truly value your opinion <3 i hope you are doing so well mei! whats been going on :o?

love you <33

wonu nonnie :D <333

CONGRATULATIONS DARLING :D <333 i'm so so so so so proud of you, that's amazing!! also omg that sounds so fun??? pretty sure the prize at my school was not having to do a final physical fitness test 💀

lock-ins are so fun!! i've only been to one but i've wanted to do another for sO long oh my god!! just messing around with your friends </3 also is your friend still breathing?? i'm worried about him.

aw no that's the worst!!! i'm sorry sweetheart, knowing you probably won't get to see people again is so weird and depressing but I hope that you're able to maintain contact with everyone you want to!! friends moving away for college sucks ASS. my bsf moved and i had kinda put all my eggs in her basket so i had no one LMFAO - you will make new friends, don't worry about that, it's just hard to see the old ones move!! i hope you get to see him semi frequently, maybe you can take a trip up there one day :D it gets easier with time, but yeah it's sucky at first and i'm sorry you're dealing with that :( make the most out of this summer!!!

DUDE FTS IS SO GOOD SKGNDG okay so like i've been streaming the entire album for a while and so far i love love love all of the songs!! IF you leave me is sO good oh my god it's a ballad but it's not vocal unit, so we get dino mingyu vernon vocals etc etc all the people we don't normally get to hear sing!!! the loml i swear

my favorites so far have honestly been all of them but i'm especially clinging to hot, don quixote, 'bout you, and ash!!

i'm doing good!! I just turned in my last assignment for this year of college (my first) so i'm feeling pretty accomplished!! i don't even know if i passed any of my classes because i slacked sO HARD this semester but idc idc i finished and that's what matters 😤

in other news i started nannying again and tomorrow i'm submitting an application for a little bakery by my house!!!! i'm so excited, i just wanna work in a cute lil bakery and have a baby to babysit on the other days of the week <3333

i love you too darling, have an amazing day/night and i'm so proud of you for graduating!! <333

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

A) hi how ya doing? B) I miss you C) can you analyze anything of Aragon? Thank you :)

Hey anon! I’m doing good ❤️❤️❤️ thanks so much for asking! I hope you’re doing well too!

Aragon is really interesting to me, because her song is kind of like the bohemian rhapsody of six. Very few people will say that it’s their favourite, but everyone will instantly sing along because it’s so catchy! Plus, it’s a great song to follow ex-wives with. It keeps the energy up and introduces the audience to the plot of the show.

I will say this until the day I die: while I would love if more songs were as scathing as say AYWD...you could never start with those songs. It’s too much too quickly. You need the more catchy, light-hearted songs of Ex-Wives, No Way and DLUH to start with because it helps get the audience invested in the show and the plot as a whole. Six, first and foremost, will always need to work dramatically. That’s why the old, more openly bitter No Way was changed to something a little more light-hearted.

The first thing that always comes to mind when I think of Aragon is regal. She’s the queen who was married to Henry for 24 years and was a Spanish princess as well. She’s the refined, confident queen who knows her own worth and honestly? I get the vibe she just wants a little bit of respect from the other queens. While some people characterise Aragon as rather cold, I honestly don’t get that? The show portrays Aragon as a very loyal person despite all that Henry put her through, and she clearly cares for Mary and also, to a lesser extent, Parr as her god daughter (remember she calls Howard “the least relevant Katherine”...meaning she does see Parr as relevant.) and she often refers to other queens as “babe” even though she was just arguing with them five seconds earlier (harking on the idea of forgiveness, something I think Aragon is very good at in the show!). Plus, while there’s only one line referring to Mary, Aragon is always so protective of her and warm to her. In the album, Renee’s “aw, hi baby!” is the most adorable and heartwarming part of the song and it’s clear she adores her daughter, while the “oh, you don’t remember?” in the live versions is so protective of her baby. It’s honestly something we don’t discuss enough. Moreover, Aragon’s song is one of the most energetic, but she has her earnest moment of pleading as well, along with her undisputable strength of refusing to back down and accept Henry’s lies. She is also incredibly passionate when talking about something she loves or defending herself when she has to (which make sense! This was the woman who rode with an army wearing armour while pregnant. Aragon was not to be messed with!).

I personally disagree with people who try and claim that Toby and Lucy wrote Aragon as the “angry” queen because she never truly gets to the levels of boleyn or seymour (yes there’s the miscarriage argument where she does raise her voice but like...are we ignoring Seymour’s “boohoo Mary had the chickenpox” or the fact that Boleyn is also shouting in that argument??? And she usually goes louder than Aragon???) and yet she’s so often defined by that trait even though other queens share it and are even more extreme. And yes, Im fully aware of why certain people characterise aragon in this way and I’m so annoyed that even though we continually call out the fact that’s it’s problematic, it continues to happen. However Aragon does have flaws like every good character should. Aragon just won’t try and listen to the other queens. She refuses to accept that Boleyn or Seymour might have had a worse time than her. Now I personally never got the feeling that Aragon blames the other queens for anything. Her feelings are directed at Henry. Notice in now way she talks about how henry is “running around with some pretty young thing” and she refers to him having “one son with someone who don’t own a wedding ring”. Those people? They’re clearly supposed to be Boleyn and Bessie, two people who are actually on stage at the time. But Aragon doesn’t take an easy shot at either of them in her song. She doesn’t say their name or call them out or try and involve them in her song. Contrast this with DLUH where Boleyn grabs Aragon, forces her to be front and centre in this verse and then insults her constantly (“three in the bed” = airing Aragon’s and Henry’s ✨ intimate issues ✨ with the entire world while “Don’t be bitter, cause I’m fitter” and “he doesn’t want to bang you, somebody hang you” are both pretty self explanatory). I think it’s absolutely key that Aragon doesn’t blame Boleyn or Bessie or direct any misplaced feelings towards them in no way or the show. Her (very justified) feelings of anger and betrayal are (generally) directed at Henry. And that’s something so many people ignore! And I personally wish more people would be like Aragon in this regard in the real world. I don’t know if other people agree with me, but it’s your boyfriends/husbands job to not cheat on you, not someone else’s. I do know some people think that Aragon is slighting Boleyn and Bessie in that verse but if we’re sticking to tudor ideals, Aragon not mentioning them by name (in essence keeping their “dignity” and “honour” intact) would be the kinder thing to to. (Note I’m only saying this with Tudor ideals in mind. I also think Aragon fully knows that Bessie was 13 when Henry started making advances on her and again, refuses to blame Bessie for what happened because she knows she’s a victim).

However...Aragon doesn’t ever try and listen to other queens and will insult them if she has to. She (along with the other queens like Boleyn and Seymour) gets more and more defensive and petty as the show continues. However, she never gets to the same levels of hard hitting insults has say Boleyn. But I mean...Aragon was a queen who went through so much in her lifetime and never was able to really talk about it. Yes, she resisted Henry trying to get their marriage annulled, and she was one of the strongest women at the time, but she couldn’t deal with her emotions the same way that we can today. She never got to told Boleyn to go away or leave her alone. She never got to bad mouth Henry because he was the king. She was, first and foremost, a lady, and she was expected to act in a certain way all of her life. And now that she’s reincarnated in modern days, she doesn’t have to do all of those things. She can be annoyed and let it show, she can tell Boleyn all those things she wanted to do back in the day. Some actresses even lean into the idea that it’s sort of cathartic for Aragon to FINALLY just say what she wants to say without having to worry on how it would reflect on her as queen. Mind you, I still think that Aragon considers how her words would reflect on her (much more than any other queen) but she definitely has more wiggle room within the show than she did during her reign.

In addition, while the fandom also like to reduce Aragon to obsessed with her religion, I actually really like how her relationship with Catholicism is portrayed in the show. While I do concede that Aragon’s faith is sometimes reduced to the butt of the joke, that’s not always the case and I personally really enjoy how Aragon seems to gain a lot of strength from her religion, instead of it holding her back or hindering her. While I do understand why so many characters in media struggle with their religion or find it suffocating (my relationship with Catholicism is...fragile at the best of times), but I genuinely love this idea that Aragon’s faith is what guides her and gives her inner strength in times of need. I mean,,,when she’s pleading to Henry during now way, the music slows to something that sounds more like a gospel song, Aragon is kneeling with her hands clasped and there's bright white light around her (i also vaguely remember something that looks like a crucifix behind her as well? But I'm not 100 percent sure on that). At the time where Aragon is most vulnerable and needs to find inner strength and wants guidance...she turns to her religion and that's seen as a very positive thing!!! The same with Aragon's verse in Sox. Moving to a nunnery and finding friends there is something that's now postive and liberating instead of being stuffy and boring and restrictive like nunnery are often portrayed as in media. (yes I know that's also a play on Henry wanting to send Aragon into the nunnery after their divorce but I do think that there’s no malicious religion-basing in Six is a nice touch that’s often overlooked).

Finally, Aragon’s costume is quite important to her character. It is one of the more feminine outlines (especially the updated version on broadway) and I do think it’s an inadvertent issue that the queens with the more stereotypical feminine costumes are more catty whereas the more stereotypical androgynous or masculine outfits (aka Parr and Cleves) are often the voices of reason, but I don’t think that’s intentional or is intended to comment on anything. It’s just a coincidence. However, the gold of Aragon’s outfit obviously symbolises her love, courage and passion, along with indicating her status as a noble. While yes the rest of the queens were all noble in some way before they married Henry, Aragon was a Spanish princess and the daughter of two incredibly powerful monarchs. She was probably the highest standing out of any of the queens, and her costume reflects that. I also think that her wearing gold to flaunt her status could be her trying to make up for the years between her marriages to Arthur and Henry (where she didn’t have many provisions made for her as far as I know) and also the last few years of her life. (I’ve seen differing reports on how Aragon was provided for after Henry divorced her, with her claiming that she was living in poverty while others state she got 3000 pounds. If anyone has any confirmation then let me know). Either way, her wanting to flaunt her status after her reincarnation by wearing lots of bright gold makes total sense. I’ve also seen a few people say that the bust on Aragon’s costume is the most historically accurate but I can’t confirm that, although if it is then that’s a really nice touch.

Well this took ages, but it was fun to finally get to analyse stuff again AND do it on a queen who doesn’t get discussed very much!!! Aragon often gets reduced to “catholic” or “angry” within this fandom, even though she is just as complex as any other character within the show but she just expresses things in very different ways. And that’s okay! This whole show is about how women (and NB folk!) are different and do have different experiences and do express things differently and have different personalities and that’s okay! We should celebrate our differences.

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 36 - She Lives In All The Things That I’ve Known

Discovery Park Seattle Washington, July 20 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 26)

ANDI: "Come on babe this is stupid," Chris whines as he tries to peak through the blindfold, " I already know where we are,"

"Ok Mr. 'know it all' where are we then? -And hey! no peaking," I say as I lead him through the grass.

"We... um... we are outside," He says with a smirk.

"No shit Sherlock," Jeff chortles and Chris frowns looking in the direction of Jeff's voice as I laugh.

"Would you just tell me where we are?" Chris says as he stumbles a little because he still can't see through the blindfold.

"We're almost there," I giggle as I continue to lead him down a small hill with Jeff behind us.  A few steps later we finally reach sand and I turn back to face Chris, still holding his hand while Jeff runs ahead towards the fire.

"Ok, stop," I say when I place my hand on his chest, feeling him flex through his plain black t-shirt. "You can look,"

He reaches up and lifts the blindfold just a little to peak at me and smirks, then takes the blindfold off completely flipping his long curls that had fallen across his eyes.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!" Everyone shouts from the fire pit.

"What the-?" Chris laughs when he sees everyone. "Did you do this?"

"I had a little help from Susan," I say as Susan walks up to us.

"Hey girl," She says sweetly to me when she places her hand on my shoulder.

"Hi," I turn and smile at her as she embraces me in a hug.

"Don't worry, Stone had the same reaction when he showed up too," Susan says when she pulls away from me and Chris chuckles.

"Happy Birthday Chris," Susan smiles, and lifts herself up to place a quick kiss on Chris's cheek.

"Thank you," Chris says shyly.

"C'mon," I say to Chris as I pull on his arm and he just gives me that shy smirk as we head towards the fire pit.

*****

Sitting around the campfire, the entire gang of us laughing, drinking sometimes even singing while the glowing flames from the fire crackle and roar, I sit on a blanket in front of Chris sipping my beer while he is firmly planted on one of the logs that some of the boys brought over to sit on.

"Fuck, man you didn't have to get me anything," Chris says as Kim passes him over a box with a ribbon wrapped around and an envelope with Chris's name scribbled across the front.

"Of course I did, it's your fucking born day alright?" Kim says and takes a sip of his beer.

"Dude -"

"Just open it," Kim says and Chris laughs. He takes the box from Kim setting it on his lap while I watch and sip my beer.

Chris flashes me a raised eyebrow and then slowly opens up the box first. Kim glances at me and I suppress a smile because I know exactly what is in that box.

"Holy shit, no fucking way," Chris smiles as he pulls out an original copy of The Beatles Sgt. Peppers album that was actually signed by Paul McCartney." Babe, look" Chris smiles and had it over to me. I take it from him and look it over. Kim had only just told me about it and it was really fucking cool to see it in person.

"Sorry it's not John or anything but - "

"Oh my god, no...! this is amazing," Chris smiles and gives Kim a hug. "Thank you,"

"You're welcome. I know it's not quite what Andi got you but -" Kim starts but I glare at him and shake my head to try and signal that I haven't given Chris my gift yet. "- um wait no... what am I thinking - ?" Kim chuckles as he tries to cover up that he let it slip. Chris pulls away and looks back and forth between us both.

"What? Wait... what'd ya get me?" Chris asks me.

"Ok... well... ok, give me a sec," I say and hand him back the record. He takes it from me and I rise from the blanket, take one last sip of my beer as I adjust my leather jacket, I lean down to him and give him a quick kiss on his lips and make my way around Layne, who was laughing with his girlfriend Demri Perrott on his lap, then head away from the circle, to the red '86 Chevy van - the one that we use to tour in now and for such camping trips like this - and slide open the large door to retrieve Chris's gift. I honestly didn't exactly know how to wrap it so, I just wrapped a red ribbon around it and tied it with a bow.  

Once I have it, I slide the door shut and try to figure out a way to carry it back to the fire without him seeing what it was. Once I'm able to hold it behind me I walk back to the fire.

"Babe?" Chris smiles at me confused as I reach the blanket and stand in front of him while everyone else continues on with each other. I carefully bring it around and hold it out for him and instantly those blue eyes of his light up with wonderment.

"Holy shit," Chris says. It was a 1989 jet black Duo Jet Gretsch with a solid white pick guard - a re-issue of the 1955 model.

"I thought maybe you would like one of your own," I say as he takes it from me still wide eyed.

"Baby...?" He trails off just staring at the guitar he held in his hands. I then sit down beside him where Kim once sat - he seemed to be off somewhere, probably drinking a six pack with Jerry behind the van or something - and I swing my leg over so that I was facing Chris.

"How did you...? I mean where did - how...?" Chris attempts to speak still looking over the guitar.

"I have my ways," I smirk, moving just a little closer to him. He pulls off the red ribbon, rests it across his lap and begins to pluck at the strings.

"Happy Birthday," I lean in and whisper in his ear, moving a few of his curls and placing my lips to his earlobe. He leans back into me, then turns and places his lips on mine, soft and gentle at first and I deepen the kiss as I cup his face in my palm, feeling his stubble on his cheek and the beginnings of his moustache against my lips. After a couple of moments, he pulls away and leans into my ear.

"I love you so much baby," He whispers sending shivers all over my body.

"And I love you baby," I say quietly and he places a kiss to that spot under my earlobe as the laughter from everyone and the fire roaring fills the summer night air.

*****

"Ugh, I need to pee, Andi will you come with me?" Demri says as she bounces over to me sweetly, her gorgeous dark hair all around her. Ever since Xana decided to basically cast me out for whatever reason, Demri and I have become closer. I guess, according to Demri, Xana has a habit of turning on her friends like that.

"Um, sure," I smile at her. I lean into Chris who was laying down on the blanket beside me puffing away on a cigarette while he and Jerry converse about pretty much anything a drunken mind would come to, and let him know I was taking a walk with Demri.

"Hey, don't get lost ok?" Chris raises his eyebrow at me, pulling me back to him and I giggle as he places his lips on mine.

"Don't worry Chrissy, I'll keep her safe," Demri winks at him when I attempt to get to my feet. She takes my hand to help me up and we laugh as Chris just shakes his head at us and chuckles as he takes another drag of his cigarette.

We leave the campfire and head towards the wooded area that was near the shore of the Puget Sound. Once the light from the campfire no longer lit our way, Demri flicks on the flashlight as we try to find the perfect spot for her to go pee.

"You think we're far enough away yet?" I ask.

"Yea, ok I think this is good enough. I'll go first," She says and hands me the flashlight.  To be honest I didn't really have to go myself but maybe I should just in case. This is probably the only thing I absolutely hate about camping. Having to pee in the woods. Usually once I'm drunk enough I pretty much don't care at that point, but I still hate it. After she finishes, she comes back over and takes the flashlight while I go and take my turn.

"So are you excited to marry Chris finally?" Demri asks with a smile when I pull my jeans back up.

"Yea, yea I am actually," I giggle.

"My god, September is coming up quick... do you have your dress yet?" She asks.

"No, I should probably get on that eh?" I say as I walk over to her.

"Well yea, I mean Susan and I are definitely going to be there with you, and I'm so happy you asked me to be your brides maid, But we should go dress shopping, I know the perfect little place for a dress," She says sweetly.

"You know you two can wear whatever you like... I mean I feel kinda bad that I can't buy all three dresses,"

"Awe no, Andi it's ok, you're not obligated to buy us anything, it's your day," She says and I giggle as she wraps her arm around my shoulder and touches her temple to mine. She is so sweet. I love Demri so much.

"Andi?" She asks after a few moments of us walking.

"Yea?" I say as I make my way through the low hanging branches.

"What is it like to time travel?" She asks. I wasn't exactly expecting that kind of a question so it caught me a little off guard.

"Oh, um... well... it's um - "

"I mean, I just never actually seen you do it so, I mean Xana told me about the time she saw it happen, but..." She says.

"Oh, well um... it's kind of hard to explain really," I say as we walk slowly through the woods.

"I just think it would be so cool to actually travel through time y'know? See what the future would be like, or revisit a place you always loved..." She says thoughtfully.

"It can be, but sometimes..." I trail off, not exactly sure how to tell her that most of the time I hate it. I hate how it's always taking me away from Chris and that I hate how it's always taking me to places I'd rather not go.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - " She stops us and looks at me with those dark eyes full of worry.

"No, no it's ok. I mean... I know it probably seems like the best gift someone could ever have, to be able to travel like that but in reality, it's not exactly practical. If I could control it, maybe I wouldn't find it hard, but I can't so it can really suck sometimes," I explain.

"Yea, I get ya," She says. "But, I just think it's incredibly romantic how Chris has known you since he was so young and just how you time traveled to meet him for the first time,"

"Well... technically I had already met him, then I time traveled and that's when he met me... and... my god it's complicated to explain," I say and she giggles.

"It's ok I know what you mean," She smiles.

"Wait what time is it?" I ask.

"Um, I don't know... after 1am I think,"

"Shit, I need to get back to the van," I say and we walk a little faster.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yea, yea I just forgot to take my meds, that's all," I say. We finally make our way out of the woods and back to the campfire and I head straight to the van as I hear Chris asking Demri where I was going. I reach the van and slide open the door to see Kim passed out in the back, so I reach for my duffle bag and try not to wake him up.

"Babe, you ok?" Chris says a little slurry as he walks up behind me.

"Yea, yea I'm fine, I just needed... um... nothing actually," I say as I push my curls behind my ear while Kim groans, then begins to snore.

"Demri said something about medication, or something" Chris says placing his hand on my lower back while I unzip my bag.

"Um... yea, well it's nothing really... just something my doctor gave me to um..." I try to think of how to explain that I didn't exactly tell Chris about the Lorazepam that I was prescribed.

"To what?' Chris asks and I finally pull out the bottle.

"It's to help with my seizures... so I don't time slip," I practically whisper as I open up the bottle and pour out two tablets into my hand and place the bottle back in my bag.

"I thought you couldn't take any medication for it?" He asks as I grab a bottle of water from the cooler. Kim groans again and I wince trying to remember to be quiet.

"I can, it's just that nothing had worked before so I just never took anything. I just y'know, I would play instead," I whisper as I look up at him and place the two pills in my mouth and take a sip of water.

"When did you start taking them?" Chris asks. I give him a look, wondering why he's asking so many questions so I turn back and close the van door to make sure Kim doesn't wake up.

"Just recently. I had them for a while but I just didn't take them until after the time slip in Germany. We were so busy and I didn't have time to relax and just work on music so I started them the night I came back from that time slip, " I explain.

"Ok... why didn't you just tell me then?" He asks. I honestly don't know why I didn't tell him.

"I didn't think it was a big deal," I shrug as he keeps his eyes on mine, seemingly searching to see if I'm really alright. "I'm ok Chris I promise... if you hadn't noticed, I haven't had a time slip since the bus in Germany so they must be working,"

"I know...," Chris says as he pushes a few stray curls out of my eyes.

"The only reason I'm taking these is so I don't slip. I'm just so worried that what if I get so nervous at our wedding that end up time slipping, or what if something happens and we end up not getting married at all, or something changes and I'm totally different or -"

"Baby, it's ok, I get it," He says and I look at his chest, seeing my engagement ring on the silver chain that lays against his plain black shirt. He then draws me into his arms and I place my cheek against his chest, my arms wrapping around him through his soft black jacket. His arms feel so amazing around me. I wish he could just hold me forever and never let me go. Too bad I always seem to disappear even when I feel the safest with him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I say quietly.

"You need to start trusting me with telling me stuff. You know you never have to hide anything from me. If you're going to be my wife, we need to tell each other everything, no matter what ok?"

I sigh against him hearing his deep voice through his chest that sounds so soothing. He's right. I'm so used to travelling through time and not telling people anything because I can't tell people anything. Even when it's a matter of life and death.

"Why do you even want to marry me?"

I didn't exactly mean for that to come out but it's true. Why would he want to? Why would he want someone like me?

"Because I love you more than anyone I've ever loved in my entire life. Because I can't for one single second imagine my world without you in it. No matter when or where you are, I know you will always come back to me,"

"How do you know that?" I ask, my brow furrowing as I look up at him and he cups my face in his palms.

"I have no idea," Chris smirks and I couldn't help but giggle. " I just do,"

[jungshookz]

baby, you can drive my car |(mechanic!yoongi)

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: mechanic!au, spoiltbrat!y/n (++ inexperienced y/n as hiGHLy requested hehe), 6 greasy bois, a taste of richboy!jin, a vintage mercedes benz named beeper, usual dose of crackheadiness, touch of angst, sprinkle of fluff, and bts (big time smut) ((i love recycling this joke don’t come for me)) (((thigh-riding)))

→ trigger warning: there is a brief mention of blood so tread lightly if you feel queaSy about that! 

→ wordcount: 24.6k magic in the air 

→ summary: welcome to min mechanics - what can i do for you today, doll?

→ note: ooh BOY this took me a while! i’m sorry it took me so long to publish this but i hope this bad boy (i’m talking about the fic itself anD mechanic!yoongi) makes up for it! mechanic!yoongi has been in the works for a while... thank you to every single one of you who contributed each of your own lil ideas and helped to create the chArming tattoo-sleeve man we all fuLLY fell in love with. seriously y’all i could not have done this without you!! i ain’t gon lie i was going to post this on the day of the comeback but i think i needed a day to just.,.,, SCREAM and listen to the album.,.,,.  (and also i was still editing it yikes) ((and also what do u guys think of the new albUM hELLO)) so here it is twO days after the comeback!!!!!!! i hope i gave you sufficient time to recover from the new album but if not oH well what can ya do!!! also i’m really friCkin nervous for some reason but nonetheless enjoy the ride! ( 灬♥ 3 ♥灬)

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or yoongi u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you know what

you could totally get used to this being an adult thing

you finally get to live in your own place

you finally get to eat whatever the heck you wanna eat

and most importantly

you finally get a car

yes, you’ll admit, you’re a little behind with the whole car thing

most of your friends already got their licenses befoRe becoming adults but so what if you were a little slow!!! you were just living life as a teenager!!!! there was no rush

let’s not beat around the bush here

you are: a spoilt brat

like unbelievably so

when you were younger all you’d have to do is point at something and your parents would immediately be like ….aight

now that you’re older it’s kinda the same except they’ve just given you a bunch of credit cards so now you don’t have to ask anyone you can just go out and get it yourself

but this car

this sweet sweet car that belongs to you

(to be moRe specific it’s a 1962 mercedes benz baby blue convertible that you’ve affectionately named beeper)

((you knoW that shit be fancy when it’s from the dang 60s))

this is the first BIG purchase you’ve made and you’re feeling pretty proud of yourself anD you’re feeling extra adult-y  

anyways you’re heading back to your penthouse now because it’s been a busy day!!

you had class in the morning and then you went and got your nails done to reward yourself for going to class (a manicure anD a pedicure because why would you not do your toes if you’re doing your fingers that just wouldn’t be fair to your toes) and then you went and got a venti coffee frappucino from starbucks

you reach over and adjust the front mirror a bit and take a second to admire your brand new YSL heart-shaped sunglasses (they’re SO cute n u have them in three different colours)

you’re already thinking about what you want for dinner

maybe you can order some sushi or something

you could go for a dynamite roll or something

maybe some gyoza dumplings too

oOh you should also get some seaweed salad because that-

prrt prruT prrt prRRrRRRRRrr

oh my god

no way

“oh my god, no way.” your heart drops to your stomach when beeper starts sputtering and coughing and slowing d o w n

oh god

oh god oh god oh god

okay

it’s fine

it’s fine don’t worry about it

thankfully beeper stopped riGht as the light turned red so you have some time to try and get him up and running again

okay

what can you do

what does this button do

click

oH okay those are the windshield wipers and you don’t need those

you twist a knob and curse to yourself when the radio turns on

ok what about thiS knob

“chRist-“ cold air starts blasting riGht into your face and you turn the knob back down

you step down on the gas pedal and nothing happens

what do you do whAT do you DO

you probably have like 20 seconds left before the light turns green and you have to get going

ooooOOOoOh you don’t want the people behind you to honk at you

that’s going to stress you out

you don’t want to be honked at!!!!!!!!!

usually when something bad happens you just.,. throw some money on it and it goes away

in this case you can technically throw money at it

let’s rephrase this

usually when something bad happens you just throw some money at a person and it goes away because they take care of the problem foR you

but the difference here is that you are all alone

in this big city

and your parents are miles away

and no one is here to help you

ooh!!!! ooh!!!!!! google a car repair shop!!!! goOGLE IT

you reach into your purse and pull your phone out quickly

“car repair shops near me…” you mutter to yourself as you type into the google search bar

you jump in surprise when the car behind you honks at you and you give them a sheepish smile and a shrug

“c’mon, c’mon.,.,,” you smack the steering wheel in frustration but quickly rub over the wheel apologetically  

beeper coughs before jerking and you feel a wave of relief wash over you when it starts moving again

okay

according to google maps the nearest repair shop is a minute drive away

okay okay okay

should be doable

it appears that the gods are somewhat on your side today because beeper breaks down officially right as you drive up to the front of the repair shop

luckily no one was on the sidewalk when you nyOomed up because half of your car is on the sidewalk and the other half is on the street and you’re not looking to run anyone over today

“stupid car.” you mutter as you slam the door shut “…sorry buddy.” you wince apologetically and pat the hood because you certainly wouldn’t want to be spoken to like that if you were a car

you look up at the rusting sign hanging above the large garage

‘min mechanics’

“min mechanics.” you stand in front of the large open garage and inspect the inside

is this place good enough for beeper

it seems like it’s doing pretty well

there are at least eight cars all parked on either sides of the place

in the very back in the left corner there’s an office kinda thing  

there’s a sign hanging on top of the door that says ‘front desk’

okay so that seems like a logical place to go to

you’re a little wary just leaving your car out here with nobody to watch it but it’s not like you have a choice

you walk in further and adjust your purse strap on your shoulder

what heCk

there’s like nobody here

there better be somebody here otherwise you’re going to get your dad to sue

just kidding

but not really

“uh, hellOOooOOo??” your boots clack against the concrete as you walk deeper into the garage

you push your sunglasses up onto the top of your head before placing a hand on your hip

“is anybody here??? someone needs to fix my car, please!!!” you approach the truck that’s just sitting in the middle of the garage and that’s when you notice a pair of legs under the truck

oh my god

someone’s been CRUSHED By a TRUCK

oh HELL no you are getting out of here you’re going to pretend like you weren’t even here in the first place

“sorry, gimme a sec!” the legs twitch and you let out a breath of relief

whoever this person is rolls out from under the truck smoothly and gets up onto their feet

oh

hello

he wipes his cheek with the back of his hand and gets grease smudged over his cheekbone with a scowl before wiping his grubby hands on his rag

soft icy-blue hair  

almost cat-like eyes

sharp jawline

very pretty hands

he tosses the dirty rag over his shoulder and you definitely don’t miss the way his bicep flexes

you glance down at the name embroidered in yellow thread into the chest pocket of his navy blue jumpsuit

𝓎𝑜𝑜𝓃𝑔𝒾

cute name for a cuter boy

he looks up at you and falters a bit

obviously he’s a liTTle taken aback because what’s a girl like you doing at a place like this??

you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your figure

a cream coloured blouse tucked into a pair of skinny blue jeans

a pair of chunky leather boots that look like they cost more than his entire life

the little gucci purse

and of course

the heart shaped sunglasses

hm

“what can i help you with, doll?” he offers you a smirk and a tilt of the head and suddenly you think you’ve forgotten how to breathe

you don’t think that pet name should affect you as much as it does

holy shiT this is one pretty boy

he pushes his sleeves up and that’S when you notice that one of his arms is covered with tattoos

holy moly

“i… car’s broken. my car. my car’s broken.” you stumble over your words

“you… car’s broken, huh?” he teases before glancing over your shoulder “is that it outside?”

you nod quickly and look back at your car

aw

poor beeper

you didn’t even get to drive him that much and he already diED on you

you should’ve asked for a range rover instead

once again it’s from the 60s

you probably should’ve stopped right then and there

but it’s so cute!!!!!!!

“is that a 1962 mercerdes benz??” ‘yoongi’ gasps and moves past you towards beeper “holy shiT i’ve only seen those in pictures”

“it’s pretty cool, i guess.” you shrug casually and watch as he continues to marvel over your car “but yeah, do you think you can fix him?”

“him?”

“…his name is beeper.” you admit shyly and yoongi laughs lightly and nods understandably

“cute. and yes, i’ll take care of beeper for you, don’t worry. give me some time to poke around and see what the issue is.” he pats beeper’s hood before gesturing over to the back of the garage “you can chill out in the office if you want, or there’s a starbucks down the street. it’s pretty muggy in the garage and i wouldn’t want you to scuff up your gucci purse.”

his eyes flicker towards the little black bag nestled against your side

you clear your throat and tuck it behind you bashfully

“i’m yoongi, by the way.” he sticks his hand out and you look down at it

you can see some greASy residue from the truck that he was fixing earlier but you tell yourself to man up and you reach over and take his hand

oh my god his hand is s t i c k y

ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“i’m y/n. thank you for helping me out.”

“of course, i’m happy to help.” yoongi offers you a boyish smile and you decide right then and there that you don’t mind his sticky hands at all

the bell tinkles lightly as you push the frosted glass door open and step into the air-conditioned office

hey the office is a lot bigger than you thought it’d be

and definitely a lot nicer than you thought it’d be (no offence)

there’s a front counter and an empty wheely chair behind it

oH and there’s another door that leads into a more ~private~ office but it’s closed so you can’t sneak a peek inside

on the counter there’s a little bell and next to it is a hEfty jar of lollipops

behind the counter is a cork board with a bunch of car keys hanging from pushpins all lined up in a neat row

a couple sticky notes pinned up

four plastic chairs sitting on the side (you’re assuming this is the waiting area)

in the corner there’s a little table with a stack of magazines

and in the other corner there’s a water dispenser

the ceiling fan whirs above you as you head over to the front desk

these lollipops look tempting

you wonder if they’re complimentary or if yoongi is just a sugar addict

you reach into the jar and grab one quickly and drop it into your purse

the chair squeaks underneath you as you take a seat and you shift to get comfortable

you reach up to push your sunglasses up because they start to slide down a little

a breath slips past your lips

you wonder how long yoongi’s going to take

and then you wonder if you’re going to have to get a new car

maybe you should go car shopping after this

hot tip: avoid cars from the 60s

“well i figured out what was wrong with your car” you jump when the door opens abruptly

you stand up from the seat and smooth your blouse down a little “what’s wrong with it?? what do i need to get fixed and how much is it all going to cost??”

“uh, not that much consider what was wrong was that the gas tank was empty.”

…

oh

my

god

you’re a moron

you are an idiot

a F O O L

you clear your throat and feel your cheeks starting to burn a lil

this is uh

this is kinda embarrassing

“are you… sure? that’s it? the gas tank was empty? there’s really nothing else wrong with him?”

“mhm.” yoongi nods and makes his way over behind the front desk “i did a full body check on beeper and everything else is working just fine! he just needed a tank of juice, so i filled up for you. he’s good to go!” he unwraps a lollipop and sticks it into his mouth  

“oh, okay. um-“ you unzip your purse and rifle through it for your wallet “how much do i owe you?”

“nothing”

“noth- gas is free???? holy shit. i did not know that.” you scoff in surprise and put your wallet away

yoongi’s brows furrow and he gives you a smile “no, gas isn’t free, doll. i’m giving you a get outta jail free card, so next time beeper ‘breaks down’ you’ll know he’s just out of gas.”

“oh… oH no no you don’t have to do that here lemme give you-“

“hey, seriously - it’s fine.” yoongi hands you your keys back before spinning you around and leading you out the door with a hand placed on the small of your back  

“but-“

“but nothing! i don’t wanna hear it.” he teases as he opens the door up for you and nudges you inside

he closes the door gently and bends down a little “it was nice doin’ business with you. take care of yourself now.”

“thanks for making me look like a fool in front of a cute boy today, beeper.” you sigh as you step out of the car and close the door

beep beep !

you drop your keys into your purse after locking beeper up and you make your way over to the elevator that goes up to the penthouse

as you wait for the elevator to take you up to your floor you shove your hand into your purse for your house keys and you end up pulling out

a yellow lollipop

you stare at it for a second and blink at it owlishly

no

y/n

he’s a mechanic

your dad’s a businessman!!!!!!!!!  

you need to go after a CEO boy not a CAR boy

you’re sure there are plenty of nice CEO boys in the city

you unwrap the lollipop and stick it into your mouth

hm

mango!

the elevator dings and the doors slide open

you step out into the hallway and twirl your keys around your finger

yeah

it’d be good for you

just forget about the silly car boy

three days later

ok so listen

uh

you know how you said it’d be good to just forget about the silly car boy

ya

that did not happen

you don’t usually do stupid things

but this?

this thing that you have just done??

now THIS was stupid

you might’ve maybe kinda sorta possibly clobbered one of your side mirrors with a baseball bat so that it’d break off because a teeny weeny (huge huGe) part of you wanted to see yoongi again

after the whole stare off with the lollipop in the elevator you just had this itching feeling all over your body

there’s just something about him and you can’t quite put your finger on it

maybe it’s because he’s so..,,.,,., cool? like that’s the only word you have to describe him right now lol

he’s just.,.,,.., he’s so different compared to all the other boys you’ve ever been interested in

god

he’s such a man that’s what he is

the bad boy of your wildest dreams

anyways uh

“….oh boy.” so now you have a baseball bat in one hand and a side mirror in the other

if someone were to walk into the garage right now it’d look like you just damaged someone else’s car

and it’s not like you can say ‘oh, don’t worry! it’s just my car, trust me!!!’ and wave the baseball at them because then they’d be like wtf why did u just fuck up ur own car

well

now it’s too late

you gosh darn wrecked your vintage car all because you want to see a cute mechanic

you couldn’t have just walked in there like a normal person to say hi!!!!!

you could’ve gone in there with an envelope of money and been like oh i just felt bad about not paying so i hAd to come and pay you back!!!

you did this on purpose because you wanted! to! see! yoongi! again!

and unsurprisingly

you always get what you want

“how did this happen again?”

“…i backed up into my garage all weird…?” you’re not being very convincing right now in case that wasn’t already super obvious  

“…huh.”

see

yoongi knows his cars

he’s been working with them for a long time (fun fact he picked up his first screwdriver and helped his dad in the shop when he was just three years old!!!!)

and this doesn’t look like you backed your car into the garage and accidentally knocked it into the side of a wall

it looks like it’s been battered

and he can’t help but think that you were the one who fucked your car up

because there’s a huge dent on the top part of it (he’s assuming this was your first hit) and a loT of mini dents around it (which was a result of you panicking when it didn’t fall off the first time so you continued whacking it everywhere) anD the way the mirror cracked suggests that something was hitting it straIGHt on

so you must’ve been parking your car really weirdly if you actually knocked it off while parking

this looks like it was done purposely

yoongi looks up from the mirror at you

“so… can you fix it?”

a little smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth

alright

he’ll bite

“i mean, it would’ve been easier if the mirror wasn’t completely destroyed-” yoongi holds it up and you wince a little at the sight of the wires dangling from where you riPPed it off “i’m going to have to order a new mirror - it’s probably going to cost a pretty penny considering this is a vintage car, but i’ll be sure to find the best deal for you.”

“you’re welcome to leave beeper here oR you can always just bring him back when the mirror comes in because everything else is working perfectly fine.”

“i’ll leave him here-!” you respond immediately “…if that’s okay with you, of course.”

“that’s perfectly fine with me.” he holds his hand out and your eyes flicker down to it

even his hand is pretty

you’re not..,. sure why he’s holding his hand out

is he trying to shake your hand??

you slowly raise your hand before gently placing it over his

yoongi blinks twice and looks back up at you

you look back at him

“…i need your keys.”

OH

oH MY GOD

oh my god

“i knew that!” you rIP your hand away before shoving it into your purse

your face is honestly probably on fire right now

love that for you

you drop your keys into yoongi’s palm with a jingle and yoongi smirks because now it seems like you’re avoiding eye contact with him

he smirks lightly as he tucks your keys into his back pocket

“at least buy me dinner first before touching me like that, doll.”

ok

you need to leave NOW

this is MORTIFyiNG

you are in the midst of an internal conflict

see, the thing is

you’re not quite sure if you’re crossing the line from charming to downright creepy

let’s unpack this

charming = treating someone to lunch

creepy = treating someone to lunch when you’ve only spoken to him for a total of like 3 minutes

charming = bringing lunch to someone at their workplace

creepy = bringing lunch to someone at their workplace and virtually giving them no choice but to sit down and eat lunch with you becausE you bROUGHt lunch to their woRKPLACE

charming = y/n y/l/n when she like someone

creepy = y/n y/l/n when she really really likes someone

charm-

oh!!!! a pair of legs under a truck!!!!!!!

you pick up the pace and head straIght for truck

“hey!” you knock twice against the side to get yoongi’s attention and you can’t help but bounce up on your toes a little in excitement

you look into the takeout bag to make sure nothing is leaking “i know the car isn’t ready yet but i just wanted to stop by and thank you for-“

“well hey to you too” you step back when you look down to see someone who definitely isn’t yoongi but is also juSt as pretty as yoongi

he takes his cap off and pushes his hair back before putting his hat on backwards

“you aren’t yoongi” you squeak out and wrinkle your nose “i’m so sorry, i thought you were someone else.”

“my name is jungkook bUT i’d be happy to be yoongi if you’d like” he gets up off the ground and wipes his hands on the back of his jumpsuit

he flashes you a charming smile and you feel a little overwheLmed

“get bACk to work you moron” you and the yoongi impoSter both look to the left and you smile excitedly when you see who it is “hello - again.” he teases “your car isn’t ready yet, if that’s what you’re here for.”

“i know, i’m not here for the car.” you blurt out and yoongi’s eyes widen slightly in surprise

he pokes his tongue into his cheek and raises a brow before smirking at you

“huh. i see. so what are you here for then?”

“i-“

“yoongi, aren’t you going to introduce us to the pretty lady?” you turn to look over your shoulder and you’re suddenly overwhelmed because there are one two three four five boys standing behind you like a floCK of pigeons

yoongi lets out a sigh

sometimes he wished he worked alone

you can’t help but think that this mechanics shop is just a cover up for some kind of cult

because uh

every single one of these boys are beautiful

taehyung is in charge of paint jobs and customisations

namjoon is in charge of office-related things like contracts and paperwork and finances and things along that line

hoseok takes care of washing cars

and jimin is an excellent polisher (he promised you you’d get beeper back nice and sparKly even though all you have to do is replace the side mirror)

and jungkook..,.,. kind of bounces everywhere (apparently he’s just working here for the summer so he doesn’t have a designated responsibility)

last you saw him he was under a truck and now he’s helping jimin with the buffing

“now that you know everybody- sorry about that, by the way - what brings you here today?”

“i brought you some lunch as a thank you for… giving me free gas.”  

huh

“oh! thank you so much, that’s very sweet of you.” yoongi smiles and rubs his hands together “i haven’t eaten lunch yet so you came at the riGht time!”

niCE

okay this is good

yoongi can’t help but wonder how much you spent on lunch because even the takeout bag itself looks hella fancy

le petit bistro

obviously it’s some french place

and most of the time french places are hella fancy

he suggested you guys eat in his office so that you’d have a liL more privacy (he knows for a fact that the moment you guys pull food out the others are going to swarm around you and ask to donate some bites to them) and also you probably don’t want to smell petrol while eating lunch lol

you went to go wash your hands so yoongi took the opportunity to sneak a glance at the receipt to confirm his suspicions

and needless to say

he is SHOOK

jesus christ

$45???? for a SANDWICH??? one single sandwich????

the water was $8????

what the hell

.,.,,.negative sides of capitalism

well now he can’t help but wonder how loaded you actually are

he’s not going to lie

it’s slightly intimidating to be around someone practically oozing with money

“-i wasn’t sure what kind of sandwiches you liked so i got a croque monsieur for you, i hope that’s okay!” yoongi drops the receipt back into the bag quickly and shifts in his seat as you step into the office

“oh no, that’s totally fine! i love..,. croc monsters.” he clears his throat “what did you get for yourself?”

“a pan bagnat.” you plop down next to him before reaching into the bag

a pain what now

a pain bandaid?????

what the hell kind of words are leaving your mouth right now lol

“remind me what a… ᶜʳᵒᶜ ᵐᵒⁿˢᵗᵉʳ is again?” yoongi takes the box from you and pops it open

it kinda just looks like a plain ol sandwich

.,.,is that a gold leaf on top of it

“it’s just a fanCy ham and cheese sandwich….also did u just call it a croc monster”

yoongi pauses

“….did u just call it a croc monster?” yoongi bites into the sandwich and-

oH mY GOD

if u weren’t in the room with him he’s positive he would’ve busted a nut

holy SHIT that is a good ham and cheese sandwich

his ham and cheese sandwiches neVer taste this good!!!!!!!

“you want a bite of mine?”

“what’s yours?”

“a pan bagnat.” yoongi contemplates this for a second before shrugging and leaning in for a bite but you quiCkly pull back

he raises a brow

did u change ur mind

“say it.”

say wat

“…thank you?”

“no, no. say it.”

“say what?”

“the name of the sandwich.” you smirk

oh NO

you are a sICk, twiSted individual

the thing is

he knows it’s pan bagnat

but he can’t saY pan bagnat

but he KNOWS it’s pAN BAGNAT OKAY

he knows that you pronounced it pahn ban-yay

so he too will pronounce it pahn ban-yay

he clears his throat

“…pain bandaid.”

o dear god

“okay, so you got that one because jungkook dared you to???” you giggle and trace your fingers over the oFFending tattoo

“yep. he kept saying i didn’t have the balls to do it and the next thing i know i’m sitting in a tattoo parlour getting an angry cookie tattooed on the inside of my bicep.” he snorts and jabs it “luckily i have a whole sLeeve of tattoos to distract from shooky.”

“you nAMed him??”

“jungkook did!!!”

you trail your eyes over the rest of his tattoos

your favourite so far (and it’s the biggest one) is of a cherry blossom tree

the way the branches and twigs wrap around his arms is just so beautiful and the baby pink of the cherry blossoms are just so!!! cute!!!!!!!

“how about your hair, then? unless you were born with a head of shockingly icy-blue hair.”

“well, i got drunk on my birthday. and then i woke up with bleached hair, which was traumatising, as you can probably imagine. i wasn’t a fan of completely whiTE hair so i just bought some dye from the drug store and it came out to be this soft blue-grey kinda colour.” yoongi crosses his eyes as he pinches a couple strands of hair in between his fingers

“i don’t know if i could ever do that to my hair.” you murmur and look at your own strands of hair “my scalp would probably die on me.”

“my scalp is already fuLLy dead, so i don’t really care anymore.”

“does that mean you’ll let me dye your hair neon green?”

“…we’ll have to talk about that one first.”

yoongi nearly shits himself when he realises he’s gone twO hours over his lunch break

omg

he has so much to do today he has to go back to work

even though he’s the boss and can take as many lunch breaks as he wants it doesn’t maTTer

“you got any plans for the rest of the day?” yoongi crumples his napkin up and shOots it into the bin

“not really!” you wipe your mouth and put the soiled napkin into the takeout box before putting thAt back into the takeout bag

“here, i’ll throw that out in the back for you.” yoongi picks the bag up and tucks his own box into it as well

“thank you- i dO have some work do to later but hey, you wouldn’t mind if i just hung out here, right?”

yoongi pauses on his way to the door and turns back to look at you

“you wanna hang out… here?” yoongi furrows his brows in confusion “like here-here?”

you shrug

“it just gets preTTy boring at the apartment when i’m all alone”

“well, uh, i guess i don’t see any problem with you hanging out here. i’m just going to be out there with the others, so let me know if you need anything”

??????

yoongi doesn’t usually have to play the role of a hOSt when his customers are around

“cool!!! i’ll trY not to burn anything down”

yoongi smiles to himself and shakes his head before leaving the office

hm

you are a very peculiar girl

and so it goes

you find yourself zipping straiGht to min mechanics as soon as you’re done with classes for the day (you don’t go everyday just because you feel like that’s kinDa creepy and very veRy clingy so you limit yourself to like three or four days a week)

luckily yoongi’s shop is only a 20 minute uber ride away (you were vEry tempted to buy a new car to take over beeper’s place for the time-being but you figured it’d be best to spend your money on things like… groceries??) so he’s not toO out of the way which is good!!!!!!

although you have a feeling that even if yoongi was 3 hours away you’d stiLL make the trip to see him

and although it seems like you’re just there to check up on beeper because yOu miSs hIm it’s fairly obvious you have a lil thing for yoongi

“hey, um, just outta curiosity - how old is yoongi?” you adjust on the stool and avoid jungkook’s gaze when he turns back to look at you

he glances over at yoongi “he just turned 26! he’s an old man” jungkook snorts and goes back to wiping down the windows

26

that’s.,.,.,. uh

that’s kinda hot

you cross your legs and prop an elbow up on your knee before propping your chin up on your palm and you let out a dreamy sigh

everyThing about yoongi is kinda hot

the way he rolls his sleeves up to expose his forearms when he’s about to get down and diRty gets your gears grinding

or when his tongue swipes over his bottom lip after he’s taken a swig of water

or how deep n rasPy is voice gets sometimes

not to mention his tattoo sleeve

you haven’t gotten a good look at it yet but you’re not complaining because it makes him fall into the bad boy category and you are a HOE for that

“i’m 22, by the way. much, much younger than yoongi.” jungkook points out and turns around to lean against the truck

“mm, that’s cool, kook.” you smile although your eyes are glued on a certain someone else  

jungkook snorts and rolls his eyes

maybe he should get a tattoo sleeve

“you know she’s staring at you again”

yoongi has to bite back a smile to keep himself from looking like a smitten schOOlgirl  “is she?” he asks casually and flips to the next page of the catalogue

he glances over his shoulder and sure enough you’re staring right at him

of course the moment you get caught you quickly look up and pretend like the ceiling fans whirring above are the most interesting things you’ve ever seen in your entire life

“she’s cute”

“i know” yoongi looks up and narrows his eyes at hoseok who is… stiLL staring at you

yoongi takes a step to the side so that he’s blocking hoseok’s line of sight “don’t you have a tire to change or something?”

hoseok immediately raises his hands in defense

“all i’m impLYing is that if you don’t do something soon i might have to hop on that and take her for a ride-” hoseok yelps when yoongi rolls up the catalogue and suddenly starts smacking him with it

“get baCK to work before i FIRE you”

“whatcha eating?” you glance up from your magazine when you become acutely aware that you are no longer alone due to the fact that there are three shadows blocking you from the sun

ah yes

the three amigos

jimin taehyung and lil ol jungkook

you know exactly what they want

you swallow your bite and use your chopsticks to gesture to the takeout box of sushi (it’s a dynamite roll (your fave!!!!) from this amazing sushi place called nori) sitting on the little table next to you “sushi.” you flip to the next page of the magazine

“what…. kind of sushi?”  

“dynamite roll.”

you hear them murmuring to each other and the only thing you manage to make out is a ‘u think she’ll let us try’

yeah

it is always a mistake to bring food here but for some reason you don’t listen to yourself and you always bring food here

and u know what maybe this is just because ur kind of selfish (especially when it comes to the dynamite rolls from nori) but u don’t really want to give them a bite but at the same time you know for sure they’re not going to leave you alone til you let them try

“cool, cool.” taehyung clears his throat

you give them all an unimpressed look before snorting in amusement and picking up the takeout box then holding it up for them

“one piece each.”

and the gates of hell swing open

he immEdiately opens his mouth and sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner

and then you offer a piece to jimin

and then you offer a piece to jungkook

and once they’re all satisfied they finally leave you alone

now you’re down 3 pieces of sushi but it’s finE

you don’t think of yourself as a person who puts effort into things unless you’re parTicularly passionate about something

and you just so happen to be vERY passionate about (1) min yoongi so you surprise yourself when you realise that instead of spending thursday evening watching netflix, you spend three hours doing research on the different parts of a car juSt so you can go into min mechanics and blow yoongi’s MIND

u want to impress him ok it’s not a big deal!!!!!!!!

anyways

you have a couple bullet points that you scribbled down on your palm jUSt in case

you are READY to impress the heck out of yoongi

“that radiator sure looks busted, huh?” you peek over yoongi’s shoulder and take a step back when he turns to look at you “you should probably check the coolant levels.”

yoongi furrows his brows in confusion

what is happening

it doesn’t make sense that you suddenly have a very vAst knowledge of cars considering the fact that you thought your car was broken when it was literally just out of gas

.,.,.,what is going on

“that is the radiator, you’re correct. and it is busted.” you smile proudly and give yourself a mental pat on the back and it is pretty busted. “there’s a blown fuse and a couple of wires are corroded.”

“have you checked the lower radiator tank?”

“uh- yes, i checked that. i don’t really need to check the lower tank if i’m looking at an electrical problem though.”

uh oh

we’re starting to go downhill

quICK say something else

you unfurl your fingers and glance down at the messy scribbles on your palm (the ink is starting to bleed because ur starting to get nErvous and your palms always get clammy)

“how about the coolant?”

“don’t need to check coolant levels either.” yoongi hums and reaches over to untwist the tank cap “and you already mentioned the coolant levels earlier-“

and then it hits him

it finally hits him

his fingers freeze on the cap momentarily

oh

bless your heart

he pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling too widely “-but if it makes you feel any better i’ll check the coolant levels again?”

“no, no! if you don’t need to check it, then you don’t have to.” you clear your throat “the… the fan clutch is… you should check that too. the fan clutch is… it’s a vital part of the radiator.”

“say, i have a question for you.” yoongi spins around and leans back against the car

“mhm?”

“what exactly does the radiator do, y/n?” he raises a brow before crossing his arms

you know this

oh my god you KNOW this

you literally read a 12 page document talking specifically about radiators HOW the hell are you BLANKING right now

okay fine

just play it cool

if you act like you know what you’re talking about it’ll be more convincing

“it…” you kiss your teeth before glancing down at the radIatoR “it… radiates… um, it radiates energy so that the car is able to… move.” you explain as conFidently as you possibly

“and what’s a fan clutch?”

“oh! you know, it’s the part that just…” you shake your fist in the air “just… clutches the fan, y’know? keeps it in place.”

“huh. that’s right.” yoongi cocks his head

wait what

holy shit

you’re a genius

you are a GENIUS  

“i am???”

“no.” he deadpans and smirks when you scowl playfully “you’re cute, though.”

.,,.,.frick

“good morning, namjoon.” yoongi hums as he steps into the office with a biG bag of lollipops

“morning…?” this is vEry unfamiliar territory because the last time yoongi said good morning to namjoon it was on his birthday

well

it’s best not to question it

he should just enjOy sociable yoongi “you seem extra chipper this morning!” namjoon points out

“do i?” yoongi pulls the lid off the glass jar and sets it aside

click clack click clack

the lollipops hit the side of the jar as yoongi fills it aLL the way up

he turns to toss the bag away into the bin

namjoon pulls a lollipop out of the jar before furrowing his brows

he twists the treat in between his fingers and takes note of the little cartoon strawberries on the wrapper “i thought you were a raspberry man?”

“i am” yoongi plucks the lollipop from namjoon’s fingers and plunks it into the jar before covering it up

“but all of these are strawberry flavoured.”

“yes, and?”

namjoon raises his hands in defence “nothing! just saying.”

how very odd

yoongi despises strawberry

“hi namjoon!” the little bell tinkers as you step into the office

“y/n, hey! how was your day? yoongi’s in the middle of a call but he’ll be out soon.”

“it was okay! i got my essay back and i did pretty well- oOH strawberry” you gasp and iMMediately shoVe your hand into the jar

there it is

the final piece of the puzzle

it all makes sense now

“huh.” namjoon leans back against his chair and crosses his arms as he watches you unwrap the lollipop excitedly

“whaht?” you ask aroUnd the lollipop and namjoon shakes his head

“oh, nothing.”

interesting

vEry interesting

yoongi despises strawberry but it seems like he doesn’t despise you

it is univERsally known that sundays are meant to be day-offs

you’re supposed to sleep in on sundays

you go out for bRUnch on sundays

you most certainly don’t wake up at 8am and spend twO hours getting ready and then take an uber down to the mechanics shop to see the cute boy who works there

normal people don’t dO THAT

“what are you doing here? it’s sunday…” even yoongi is confused as to why you’re here

hE doesn’t even want to be here

“i know, i just… y’know, i was bored, so-“

“you came all the way here because you were bored?” yoongi’s brows knit together and you feel your cheeks flush

you reach up to scratch the back of your neck before pursing your lips “…yes?” you look around and realise that no one else is in sight “where is everyone?”

“…it’s sunday.” yoongi teases and brings his attention back to the faulty hose in his hands

god

what is wrong with the hose today yoongi slaps it against his palm a couple of times

his brows furrow in frustration before he gives it a good tWisT-

SCHKKKKKKKKKK

oH Okay there it is

“there we go!” yoongi twists it back to turn it off “i think i might need to invest in a new hose because i just wasted like 10 minutes trying to turn it on“ he looks up at you

OH MY GOD

you’re gawkinG like a fish and all the blood drains from yoongi’s face when he realizes what just happened  

oh mygOD

he’s going to have to work for the rest of his life to pay for your dry cleaning

he’s going to have to sell his shop and that won’t even be enough to cover the cost of cleaning your gucci purse

“y/n… shit… i am sO sorry….” yoongi swallows thickly because you still haven’t responded  

you drop your purse on the floor and yoongi presses his lips together

t-the gucci is soaking wet

ᵗʰᵉ ᵍᵘᶜᶜᶦ ᶦˢ ˢᵒᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ʷᵉᵗ

hooOooOOOLY SHit he wants to die

he wants to die!!!!!!!!!!!

he wants to guZZLe a gallon of petrol and just DIE

you’re going to sue him

no

you’re going to get your dad to sue him which is even worse

he drops the hose to the floor with a clatter before turning to grab the rag sitting on the hood of the truck  

“i’ll get you another towel but you can use this to dry off for no- WHAT-“ not even a seCOND goes by and all of a sudden there’s water being dumpED right on top of him  

and to make matters worse

this is soapy water used to wash the car

he’s dripping with dirty soapy water from head to toe

“there. now we’re even!” you let out a sigh and set the bucket down before wiping your hands on the back of your leggings even though that does absolutely NOTHING

“…you have three seconds.”

you’re still wiping your hands on your leggings “three seconds to- oH MY GOD WAIT-“ you begin sprinting as soon as yoongi moves into action and the next thing you know he’s chasing you around the garage with the hose

you two are acting like chiLDREN

“yOONGI NO” you shriek when you feel cold water blast against you once again

your guys laughter bounces off the walls of the garage along with the occasional screEch from you

“get away from me you freAK-“ yoongi cackles when he gets a good blast of water right against your butt causing you to scream even louDer than you already were

you can feel him gaining on you because the pressure of the water is starting to get stronger and stronger

you let out a shriek before bursting into laughter when yoongi wraps his arm around you from behind and you immediately start squirming in his grip

you manage to turn around and the two of you start baTTling for the hose

“giVE it to mE-“ you squeeze your eyes shut because you’re sure getting blasted in the eyeball with water won’t be nice

“over my dead body!!!!!!” yoongi laughs and starts tickling your sides with his free hand

“min yooNGI it’s my turn to-“

“get your grUbby hands off the-“

of course

the floor is now slippery as hell (and yoongi’s water bill is going to be hIGH this month if you two keep going at it lol)

so of course

“woAH-!“

“oh SHIt-“

the nExt thing you know you’re staring up at

well

you’re staring right up at yoongi

“i-“ you have no idea why but your fingers are wrapped around his soaKing wet bicep and you quickly let go and place your hands on either side of you like a damn corpse “hi.”

the hose has been completely abandoned next to you guys and it’s still spurting out water

“hey.” he pants from the exertion of chasing you around the garage and his eyes flicker down to your lips veRy briefly you’re not sure it even happened

he’s settled riGht in between your legs and once you realise this your cheeks flame up

oh my god

dO something

“call it a truce?” you offer meekly and yoongi raises a brow before nodding once

“…i suppose so.” you yeLp in surprise when he suddenly shakes his hair out like a dog and practically assaults you with droplets of water

you scowl playfully and wipe at your cheek

yoongi grins down at you and gets off of you

he stands up and looks down at his sopping wet jumpsuit before offering you a hand “c’mon.” he jerks his head towards the office “let’s dry you up, doll.”

you wring the water out of your blouse and yelp quietly when you feel cold droplets of water splatter onto your bare foot

also

this YSL mascara was noT worth the money because you look like a raccoon right now

“i have an extra shirt somewhere… ah, here we are!”

you look at yoongi in the mirror of your compact as he emerges from the office with a-

oh good god

what is that

you clap your compact shut and tuck it back into your purse before spinning around and letting your eyes trail down to the….

can u even call that a shirt

“i refuse to put that thing on my body.” you can’t even bring yourself to reach out and take the raggedy denim button-up from yoongi because it just looks so.,.,.,.,.,. grOSS

“aw, c’mon! it’s cute! denim is super trendy.”

“why is it so dirty??”

“they’re just grease stains!! i swear!” yoongi brings the shirt up to his nose and takes a fAT whiff “anD i washed it!”

“well you can either wear this oR you can wear your sopping wet clothes.” yoongi points to the garBage bag containing all your soaking wet belongings and you let out a groan before reaching out and taking the shirt from him

“if it’ll make you feel better i have a pen here and i can just write gucci on the label!”

“ha-ha, very funny.,,., i accept louis vuitton as well”

“i’m going to see if i have any clothes for myself” yoongi disappears into the office again and you work quickly to rip your soPping wet clothes off as quickly as possible

“you know, i can always hook you up with some better quality shirts!” you start buttoning yourself up and you bring your arm up to your nose to give the sleeve a little sniff

it smells like his cologne >:)

you tug the shirt down a little bit and look behind you to make sure your ass isn’t hanging out and saying peekaboo

it’s big enough to the point where it covers everything appropriately and also it reaches mid-thigh

but if you bent down you’d definitely be giving everyone a show lol

“we can stick your logo on the back and everything-“

“sorry, what’d you say? i didn’t catch that.”

you turn around to face yoongi “i was saying that i- oH“

o-OH My GO D

R E D  A L E R T

your heart literally stops at the sight of a very, very shirtless yoongi

he shakes his hair out before running a hand through it with a sigh “luckily i had some spare clothes here otherwise i’d have to drive you home completely naked…”

you are bAREly paying attention to a word he is saying right now

this is it

min yoongi is one of the seven wonders of the world

he has a pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips and not to be nsfW but he might,..,,. not be wearing any briefs right now.,..,

you glance back up at his face and clear your throat when you realise he’s staring right back at you with the teeniest of smirks

“what’s the matter, doll? cat got your tongue?”

the cat don’t but that diCK dO

“your carriage awaits, madam” yoongi bows and gestures towards his pick up truck

“why, thank you, kind sir.” you gladly take his hand and he helps you into the truck

the car ride consists of you and yoongi continuing to get to know each other a lil more

the conversation flows very smoothly and easily between the two of you and that makes u happy :-))))

you tell him about that one time you thought there was a robber in your house but it turned out to be a squirrel which is moRE confusing because how the hell did the squirrel make it up so high

yoongi tells you about that one time he was staying late at the shop and hE thought there was a robber in the garage but it was just a drunk jungkook tripping over a stack of tires

you ask him about his family and he asks you about yours

you tell him you love ur mom and dad a lot but you’re suPer glad to be living on your own because it gets overwhelming sometimes

yoongi says he has a good relationship with his family too (but they weren’t pleased when he came home for new years and they discovered his tATTOO SLEEVE and his BLEACHED HAIR)

he tells you about his lil dog named holly (who he misses so much!!!!!) and you tell him about your pet turtle walter who lives at home with your parents

you find out that his favourite pizza toppings are pepperonis and pineapples and you fULLY roast him for that disgusting combination

and then he finds out that your favourite pizza toppings are spinach leaves, fire-grilled chicken, and caramelised red onions and he’s like okay miss bouGIe do u realise how much more expensive my pizza would be if i asked for fire-grilled chicken  

he listens to hip-hop most of the time but he does have a soft spot for ariana grande and halsey

he bEgs you not to say anything to the boys

he’s not insecure about his masculinity or anything

he just doesn’t want them to bLAST break up w ur boyfriend i’m bored in the shop all day even tho it’s a B O P

“okay, turn into the roundabout here…” you point towards the penthouse buildings once yoongi drives past the gates (u live in a gaTed community u r so bougie!!!!!!!!!)  

“this building? the one with the… marBle fountain?”

“mhm, you got it.” you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to smile at him “thank you for the ride and the shower.”

“anytime, doll.” yoongi plays along and his right eye drops in a wink

he chews on the inside of his cheek nervously

should he go for it

,.,..,

yeah he’s going to go for it

“hey, by the way-“ he stops you before you can hop out of the truth “the guys and i are hanging out this friday at this club we usually go to... don’t feel pressured to say yes or anything but if you wanna tag along that’d be totally-“

“yEs i would love to!” you blurt out and yoongi pauses and chuckles lightly

omg

yES you definiTEly want to

“okay, i’ll text you the details as soon as i figure out what’s happening.”

“sounds good!!” you shut the door and yoongi rolls the window down

“i’ll see you later then?”

“mhm! by the way - i’m keeping the shirt.”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes playfully as he watches you make your way to the entrance

he bites back a smile and leans back against the seat before letting out a breath and turning the truck back on

you really are something

friday can’t come soon enough

oh boy

your bedroom looks like it’s just been hit by a tornado

because it is a mEss

“i have nothing to wear!” you whine to nobody in particular as you stand in the middle of your walk-in closet and look around at the racks and racKs of clothing surrounding you

first you tried a tank top tucked into a pair of jeans and a sensible cardigan but then you remembered riGHt i’m going to a club i’m not going to the LIBRARY

and then you tried this brand new dress from chanel but you decided it was too ~avant-garde~ (u don’t really know what that means but that’s how the lady described it to you when she was selling it to you) for the club

and theN you tried a jumpsuit kinda thing but you’re not going to want to completely strIP down and sit on the toilet butt-ass naked when you have to pee

but u know what

after 2 hours (yes, TWO hours) of going through your closet you think you’ve finally pieced a sensible outfit together

it’s a baby blue slip dress (you bought it to match with beeper and u will shamelessly admit that) and you pair it with these adorable strappy platform sandals and of course a brand new gucci clutch  

hm

you look so cuTe you love this outfit

you kinda look like an early 2000s bratz doll and you’re,.,.,. ObseSsed with that

also

if someone compliments you on your outfit you’re definitely going to hit them with a “oh, this old thing? i just threW it on!”

no one will ever know it took you 120 minutes to pick (1) blue dress

you’re taking this secret to the GRAVE

yoongi offered to pick you up but you told him you’d be fine getting there by yourself

plus you really wanted to go in fashionably late (not tOO late of course) and just knock the socks off of everyone

you fully accept that you are a tiny bit of an attention whore

>:-)

“i think i should’ve picked her up.” yoongi mutters as he takes the last sip of his beer

it’s 9:30 and you’re stiLL not here

he’s checked his phone literally ten times in twenty minutes to make sure that he hasn’t missed any texts or calls or

“i think you’re overthinking this. she’ll get here! maybe there’s traffic.” jimin pats yoongi’s shoulder before returning to his conversation with hoseok

“and even if she doesn’T come you can still have fun with us!” jungkook points out and yoongi frowns “what??? we’re just as fun as y/n!!”

“we might be just as fun as y/n but yoongi doesn’t wanna make out with you like he does y/n-“

“soRRY you guys my uber dropped me off like three blocks away from here for some reason and i didn’t realise how hard it was walking in platform sandals” yoongi jumps in surprise when you suddenly poP out of nowhere

“this is why i should’ve picked you u-“ yoongi turns his head and finally gets a good look at you

shit you look good

he’s.,,.,. never seen your bAre legs before but he most definitely wants to bury his face in between them!!!!!!

oops

“are you two done checking each other out yet?” taehyung raises a brow and you and yoongi break gazes immediately

yoongi looks up at the little lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and you look towards the bowl of pretzels sitting on the table

namjoon smacks tae’s arm scoldingly

quick change the subject

“have you guys just been sitting here this whole time?” you take a seat next to yoongi and you’re hAPPy to report that he doesn’t move when the side of your thigh presses up against him

you’re used to seeing yoongi in a jumpsuit (which is hot) or like a plain white tee tucked into a pair of jeans (which is aLso hot) but tonight he looks extra EXTRA hot

he’s wearing all bLAck tonight

black t-shirt

black ripped jeans

black bomber jacket

he even smells sexy

he smells like that denim shirt that’s hanging in ur closet

oH and he’s wearing a bandana and for some reason the sight of him in a bandana makes you s w e a t

yoongi leans back and drapes an arm over the back of the booth and you’re vEry tempted to snuggle right into him but unfortunately the two of you are noT at that stage yet

“this is our third bowl of pretzels and our second round of beers, so no, we haven’t just been sitting here this whole time.” jungkook points out smartly and you nod understanDably

he’s such a dweeb

you love it

alright well

apparently the party don’t start til you walk in

you give yoongi’s thigh a couple pats before pointing at the bar “i’m gonna go get us some shots!” you grin excitedly as you slide out of the booth

all of the boys sit in silence until they all decide you’re at a safe distance away from them

“…..she touched your thiGhHhHhhhH” taehyung wiggles his brows and yoongi scoffs and rolls his eyes

“so what?”

“…yo diCK is close to your thiGhHhHhhhH”

“so in a way she indirectly touched your dick” jungkook holds his hand out for a fist bump

yoongi looks at the two of them in an unimpressed manner

“hi, can i get a round of kamikazes please?” you smile politely at the bartender before handing him your card

you gon be honest

you don’t actually know what a kamikaze is

you googled a list of shots on your way here and kamikaze was on that list

there’s also a type of shot called a blowjob but you’re not sure how it’s going to go down if you ask the bartender for a round of blowjobs

“what’s a pretty little thing like you doing at a place like this?” you jump in surprise when someone suddenly appears next to you and you’re about to run away in fear but then you get a better look at this guy

there’s no other way to describe it

this binch looks just as Expensive as you

you recognise that limited edition gold rolex that wink at you under the shoddy lighting

“…i could say the same for you” you raise a brow before turning to face the bar again

whY is the bartender taking so long

the guy laughs and tilts his head back a little before leaning forward and offering you a smirk “i’m seokjin. and you are?”

“not interested.” you clap back immediately jin raises his hands in defence but doesn’t back off

“feisty, aren’t we?”

“only when we have to be.” you shrug casually

“fair enough.” he hums and drums his fingers against the counter

a beat of silence goes by and you’re surprised he hasn’t made anoTher move

this guy seems harmless enough so you figure that giving him your name won’t be the woRst decision you’ll ever make in your life

plus the bartender is really taking his sweet time with those drinks and you’re getting bored

“i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out and jin’s eyes flicker down to your hand before he takes it graciously and gives you a firm shake

“well, it’s very nice to meet you. are you here by yourself?”

you snort immediately and shake your head “i wouldn’t come here by myself.” the bartender pauses and raises a brow at you and you give him a sheepish smile “no offence.”

if you thought your drinks were taking a long time to be made they’re going to take even lonGer now

good job u goober

“can i at least buy you a drink? maybe you can come over to my booth and we can chit-chat, see where that takes us…”

“or you could just buy me a drink and we can go our separate ways from there.” you grin and jin tilts his head before letting out a small laugh

“is that how you’re going to play it, sweetheart?” the thin gold chain hanging around his neck shimmers slightly as he shifts and leans closer to you

“i pholhd yew i could fit more phretfulz into my mouf fhan yew” jungkook mumbles and a pretzel falls out of his mouth

jimin is crAcking up at the sight of taehyung practically drooling all over himself

namjoon looks disappointed and hoseok looks vEry amused

yoongi glances over at the bar and furrows his brows in confusion when he sees you talking to,.,.., someone you’re obviously very comfortable with if you’re letting him tuck your hair behind your ear like that

whoever this fella is

he’s wearing a crisp button-up tucked into a pair of slacks and he has his sleeves rolled up (and he knows how weak u r for rolled up sleeves because you always get really moon-eyed when hE rolls his sleeves up)

yoongi clears his throat and shifts in his seat

what was he thinking???  

christ

you guys are from two different worlds

what

was

he

thinking!!!

inviting you here?? and you’RE paying the shots omg he should’ve gone up there to pay for the shots

“miss, your round of kamikazes?”

“be a gentleman, kihyun. why don’t you deliver her shots to her friends for her?” jin points over at yoongi and the others and kihyun nods obediently

“oH oh you really don’t have to- okay never mind”

jin is a nice guy but also u want to go back to ur friends

“so, where were we?”

“you were about to buy me a drink and i was going to accept the drink and then leave” you joke and turn to look over your shoulder juSt in time to see kihyun setting the tray down on the table

okay you know what

one drink isn’t going to hurt

you’ll just enjoy onE drink and then you’ll leave

that way the boTh of you are satisfied..,,.ish

yoongi can’t help but glance over at the bar agaIN and he rolls his eyes when he catches the sight of you throwing your head back in laughter at something

who the hell does this guy think he is anyway

and what kinda guy who dresses like thAt would want to hang out here

no

he’s overthinking it

“hey, your friend told me to bring the shots here. seven kamikazes.”

“OoOohHH yeah lets gET IT” jungkook reaches for a shot as soon as the tray is set down and it goes down his hatch in 0.1 seconds

uh

okay wow

obviously you’re not interested in hanging out with them anymore because you’re stiLL with that guy at the var aND you got the bartender to deliver the shots over so you could kEEP talking to mr. perfect over there

“ooh, these are good!!”

“veRy citrusy”

“are we sure there’s even alcohol in this because it kinda just tastes like orange juice”

“you think we can order more?”

yoongi’s shot is the only one left untouched

jungkook reaches over to tap his shoulder

“hyung, you gonna take a shot?”

yoongi clenches his jaw and reaches over blindly for the shot glass

he tilts his head back and swallows it before setting the glass down firmly

“jEez it wasn’t like i was going to take it or anything” jungkook mutters under his breath

whAtever

yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

you’re allowed to flirt with whoever you’d like

it’s not like you guys have a thing or anything

you even told him you didn’t want him to come and pick you up so obviously you’ve established that this is a friendship and nothing more

it’s fine

yeah

you guys don’t have a thing

which means hE can flirt with whoever he’d like as well

“anywaYs you’re very nice, jin, but i don’t want you to get the wrong idea or anything…” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

you don’t want to tell this complete stranGer about the ins and outs of your will-they-won’t-they relationship with yoongi but you are vEry much tipsy and tipsy y/n just does not have a filter whatsoever “i’m here with yoongi!!!!!!” you clear your throat and gesture towards where the boys are

that strawberry margarita was really good

you could probably drink like twelveteen more of those  

jin glances over your shoulder and raises a peRfect brow (you need to ask him where he gets his brows done because woW)

“which one is this yoongi?” he looks back at you

uh

you weren’t expecting to be quEstioned like this

“uh, he’s the one with the-“ you turn to glance over your shoulder

huh

yoongi isn’t at the table

“well he’s around here someWhere he’s wearing a bandana and he has a tattoo sleeve you know he’s reALLy not that hard to spot-“

“oh! i see him!” you perk up immediately and try to follow jin’s line of sight “you mean the one dancing with my friend?”

wait what

“your friend? where’s your friend-“ the moment your eyes land on yoongi and jin’s friend you feel every single droplet of blood draining from your face

oh boy

yep

that’s yoongi alright

she has a hand tangled up in his hair while the other is running down his chest

he leans down as she says something in his ear and you see him laugh

the two of them continue to sway to the beat and you feel sick to your stomach when you notice her push yoongi’s hand down from her waist to her bum

you immediately turn back to face jin and you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment

u just told this guY that you were here with another guY only to find out that the guy that you came with looks like he’s having a greAt time with someone else  

yikes

“for the record - i would never do that to you.” he asks “chivalry is hard to find nowadays, no?”

you swallow thickly and try to snap yourself out of it

it’s not a big deal

yoongi can do whatever he wants

it’s not like he’s showing romantic interest in you just because he invited you to hang out with him

you’re just one of the bros

“say- how about you and your friends join my friends and i in the vip room? the more, the merrier!” jin nods in acknowledgement as the bartender sets a tray of shots down on the counter for him

“uh, maybe! maybe. thank you for the drink, by the way.” you smile politely and watch as he heads towards the velvet door with a gold VIP label on it

how faNcy  

you weren’t going to mention anything to the guys but they asked you what took you so long and the moment the phrase ‘vip section’ slips out of your mouth all the boys immEdiately slide out of the booth and head to said section

you and jimin bumped into yoongi on the dance floor on the way there and you kinda just.,.., awkwardly trailed behind him and his new gal pal as aLL of you made your way over there

anyways

now you’re here

in this truly unfortunate situation

and you are praying to all the gods to just make a black hole appear in the ground and swallow you up

first of all

you didn’t know how Big this room was

and you didn’t know that one person (jin) could have so many frienDS

because you are sitting in a circle with probabLy like twenty-ish (or more) other people (including the boys of course)

the point is you want to be literaLLy anywhere else BUT here right now

“i’m assuming everybody knows the rules of the game-“ jin sets the empty bottle of beer in the centre of the circle and you feel your palms starting to sweat because heLLO you don’T know the rules of the game

also you don’t know haLF these people

a couple of the girls introduced themselves to you but you have horrible memory so their names went into one ear and riGht out the other in like 0.1 seconds

“maybe you should, like, go over the rules one more time to… y’know, to refresh our memories!” you clear your throat and feel your cheeks heat up when you catch jennie snickering

“okay, well… you spin the bottle, and whoever the bottle points at, you have to kiss them for ten seconds.”

“it’s pretty self-explanatory.” one of the other girls mutter

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously “what happens if you don’T wanna kiss that person?”

“then you have to take off an article of clothing.”

wait what

t-that doesn’t sound like regular spin the bottle

thaT’s not how they do in the movies!!!!! everyone’s clothes stay ON in the movies!!!!!  

and then you realise

you oNLY have a dress on

you don’t have a cardigan or a jacket or anything

so if you don’t wanna kiss anybody you’re going to have to take your dress off

in front of all these people!!!!!!!!!!

can i get a thank u nEXT

“um, i have another question!” your hand shoots up into the air “what if instead of taking a piece of clothing off you take a shot instead?”

“ah, that’s a good idea! if you don’t want to kiss your person, then you take a shot aND you take a piece of clothing off!” jin claps his hands together “good thinking, y/n!”

WAIT WHAT

nO you would like to retrACT your statement omg

so

you can safely say that this is one of the WORST experiences in your life

it’s about twenty minutes into the game

they actually changed the rules again so now you take a shot regardless of if you want to kiss your person or not

needless to say everybody is pretty hammered right now

except you of course

you’re like KindA tipsy

like giggly tipsy!!!! jin just keeps ordering margaritas for you and it would be ruDE of you to reject them

but you haven’t taken any shots yet

because you are one of the only people who hasn’t gotten a chance to spin the bottle yet (thank god)

you also are one of the only people who the bottle hasn’t landed on yet (which is also a thank goD)

“hey”

you turn to look at jin and a smile twitches at your lips when he hiccups

his cheeks are rosy and he’s glowing a bit

loVe that for him

“what do yoU want” you tease

“is there a mirror in your pants?”

“i’m not wearing pants.” you point out and gesture to your dress

“yah- can you just play along??” jin scoffs and pinches your arm

“okAy okay fine go on”

“-because i can seE myself in them” he beams proudly

you snort and roll your eyes playfully before whacking his bicep as he bursts into squeaKy giggles

“you think you’re funny?” you tease and jin nudges his elbow against yours

“you don’t think i’m funny??”

“i absolutely don’t think you’re funny”

“oOOh i have another one”

“can’t be any worse that that mirror one”

“the word of the day is legs.”

“is it?”

“let’s say we head back to your place and spread the word.”  he purrs into your ear and you nEARly screech

“jiN!!!!” you gasp and turn to gawk at him “that’s hoRRIBle you FreAK”

yoongi clenches his jaw when he sees you smack jin’s arm as the two of you continue giGGling away at god knows what

whatever he said can’t possibly be thAt funny

“my turn!!!” jennie gets up onto her knees and shuffles towards the bottle

you suddenly stop laughing because oh no it’s jennie’s turn

with a quick fliCk of her wrist she sends the bottle spinning

okay

logically speaking there is a 1/28 chance of it landing on you

but more importantly

logically speaking there is a 1/28 chance of it landing on a certain someone else who shall not be named but it’s pretty obvious who you don’T want it to land on

your nails dig into the meat of your palm as you watch the bottle intently

you don’t get a chance to continue worrying about the logistics of the situation because jin taps your shoulder again

good

you need a distraction anyways

she spun it really violently so it seems like it’s going to take a while to get there lol

“hEy hey hey i’ll give u a nickel if u tickle my pickle”

you snort immediately and shake your head

“i’ll give you a nickel to shuT up” you reach over to flick his forehead “we met like forty minutes ago but i am confident in saying that you only think with your dick”

“in thAt case would you like to blow my mind?”

chRIST

it neVER ENDS

yoongi sets his beer down slowly when the he realises the bottle is pointing right at him

he swallows thickly

oh boy

his eyes flicker up and he sees jennie looking right at him with bEdroOm eyes

and then he hears you and jin craCking up and he turns his head to look at you guys

…..,.,,.,.

what if jin takes you home tonight

what if jin takes you home tonight

well

FINe

if jin takes you home tonight then he’s allowed to take jennie home tonight

yoongi’s eyes flicker back to jennie and he gestures towards himself before leaning back against one palm “get over here.”

“c’mon now, that one was really good!”

“if you ever approach someone with that line you’re going to get slapped-“ you immediately lose your train of thought when you turn your head to see jennie and yoongi fuLLy going at it

“and that’s 10 seconds!”

yoongi’s the first to pull away and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

he ain’t gon lie

that was kind of slobbery

her lip gloss is also sickLY sweet

“y/n, you’re the only one who hasn’t spun yet! why don’t you give it a try?” jin nudges your side and you snap out of it and look at the bottle “i know yoongi’s technically supposed to be spinning now but we should give you a shot at it before someone goes twice.”

“oh, i don’t- um, i don’t… i think i might just skip my turn.” you smile nervously

your heart is haMMering away in your chest

there are a million and one thoughts running through your mind right now and the amount of alcohol that’s flowing through your veins probably isn’t helping to calm you down

u just

u really liked yoongi :-(

you’ve had so much fun spending time with him for the past couple of weeks

but obviously you aren’t his type

which is okay! that’s fine

everything’s fine

also

you don’t want to play this game because you don’t want your first kiss to be because of spIN the bottle

“c’mon, y/n. we aren’t getting any younger here, girl!”

“o-okay! okay, i’m- i’ll spin.” you clear your throat before leaning over and grasping the bottle

you give it a good agGREssive spin and watch as it goes round and round and round and round

oh boy

this sucks

you thought he liked u back

like you really REALLy thought he liked you back

he’s just been so nice and sweet to you!!!!!!

well to be fair he kind of has to be nice and sweet to you because you are paying him to fix your verY expensive car

he probably just wanted a faT tip that’s why he’s been so kind

and maybe he only invited you here tonight because you bought lunch for him

also you literally have no experience with situations like this so you can’t assume that he likEs you just because you like him

whatever

you should go for someone like jungkook who’s closer to you in age

well thEre you go again assuming that someone who obviously doesn’t like you likes you

“hey, look at that! it’s your lucky day, y/n!”

you snap out of it aGAIN and look down at the bottle that’s pointing right at

jin

you turn your head to look at him and he immediately flashes you his oh-so-charming smile “get ready for the best 10 seconds of your life, darling”

you immEdiately start to panic when jin reaches up to cup the side of your jaw and your fingers wrap around his wrist tightly

okay

yeah

just go with it

kiss him

he’s a nice guy!!!!! he bought manY drinks for you, he invited you and your friends to his vip room, he’s nice!!!!!

you’re going to give this complete sTRanger your first kiss even though you would much rather give it to yoongi

jin has nice lips though so maybe you can just preTEnd it’s yoo-

“waIT WAIt waIT-“ jin jolts in surprise before his eyes pop open and he blinks at you “i- my lips are chapped.”  

his eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your cheeks flush when his thumb brushes over your bottom lip “they feel awfully smooth to me.”

he starts leaning in again

and in the corner of your eye you see yoongi leaning in and whispering something into jennie’s ear

she places her hand on his knee and starts sliding it up his thigh

and you don’t know what happens

but you snAp

“what the hell is wrong with you??”

y i k e s

jin’s eyes pop open and he’s about to retaliate but he realises you’re not even looking at him

you’re looking at yoongi

yoongi furrows his brows before scoffing and look around the circle “is this part of the game?” he jokes and there’s like a scAtter of nervous laughter

“i’m-“ you look around the circle as well and swallow thickly

ok

maybe u just embarrassed urself a little bit by your outburst

a couple people are avoiding eye contact with you

namjoon presses his lips together and looks down when you look at him

hoseok is giving you a pity-infused smile

and jungkook

jungkook fell asleep on one of the girls

“i’m- uh, i should go.” you mutter and get up off the ground “soRRy about that, you guys!” you clear your throat and gesture to the bottle “someone else can take my turn!”

“i’ll spin!” jin claps his hands together when a beat of silence goes by “if ya can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen!” he jokes

another round of scattered laughter

at least there’s less awKward tension

you can feel how hot your face is from under your makeup

at least it’s full coverage so no one will ever be able to tell that your face is on FIRE

the chilly air sobers you up a little more as you push the door open

you let out a breath and pull your phone out to call an uber

you just want to go home

wipe all this makeup off

wash your hair

maybe you’ll take a bubble bath

do a face mask

“y/n, wait-“ the momeNT you hear yoongi’s voice all hell breaks loose once again

you are AN G RY

“let gO of me-!” you shove yoongi’s hand off your wrist before whipping around and adjusting your purse on your shoulder with a huff

yoongi immediately raises his hands in defence before he furrows his brows at you “what the hell was that all about?? are you ok-“

“is this just a game to you??”

yoongi blinks at you before scratching the back of his neck

“is… is the game… just a game to me?”

“no i’m not talking about the stUpid game yoongi i’m talking about-“ you pause because you don’t really know hoW to word this without sounding like an obsessive maniac “i don’t understand you! i thought you- you’re just sO fruSTRATING”

yoongi scoffs immEdiately and crosses his arms

“i don’t think you’re allowed to say that when you were the one flirting with jin like craZy”

“i wasn’t- i wasn’t flirting with him!”

“you totALLy were! someone would have to be blind if they thought you weren’t flirting with him!”

“you were the one who literally mADE out with someone else!!!”

“y/n, it was a game-“

“i just don’t think it’s fair that yOU were the one who invited me to this hole in the wall and then yOU go off and start making out with someone else and dancing and-“

“well you know what i am so so sorry for taking you to this grubby hole in the wall!” yoongi snaps and you shut up immediately “you know what, you’re right, i think it’d be better if you just left.”

“i think it’d be better if we just nEver saw each other again!” you snap and cross your arms “we’re compLETE opposites-“

“sounds good to me!!! we’re from two diFFerent worlds so you should heAd back to the land of elitists because i- oh! should i hail a cab for you or is that too gross and poor for little miss spoilt brat??” yoongi’s tone is sO patronising and you’re (this) close to slapping him across the face “what’s the matter?? something doesn’t go your way so the firSt thing you do is sTorm out like a child????”

“excuse me?!” you hiss and shove at his chest “you’re an asshole. you’re an asshole!”

you already feel angry tears prickling at your eyes as you whip around

“fuck, y/n, wait-!”

all you know is that you don’t ever want to see min yoongi ever again and you’d be happy to get in your car and run him over and over and over and ovER agAIN

and suddenly you’re reminded that you don’t have a car to run him over with because your car is in hIS damn SHOP

“y/n, i didn’t mean-“

somehow you manage to cross the street without tripping over yourself and you pick up the pace to get as far away from yoongi as possible

god

what a night

you should’ve stayed home

the moment you step into the penthouse everything just seems to go wrong

your keys fall the ground with a clatter

you nearly trIp and fall flat on your face as you undo your sandals

you toss your clutch onto the couch but it bounces off the pillows and falls to the ground

you head straight to your bedroom and the second you throw yourself onto the bed you burst into tears

you hate everything

everything sucks

min yoongi espeCially sucks

you hate that he,.,.,. he patronised and belittled you like that

you haTe that he made all those comments about you being a spoilt brat because everyone who’s ever been mean to you have made those exact comments and you never thought yoongi would be one of those people

okay look

you don’t want to be one of those rich people but you can’t help it!!!! yes you’ve always had more of a comfortable lifestyle (which is completely out of your control like wtf you didn’t chOOSe to be born into a well-off family) but like.,., at the same time it’s isolated you

throughout elementary school and high school you know for a fact you were invited to all those parties and dinners only because people knew that you’d be the one who’d get them the most expensive presents (you got this one girl a purse from louis vuitton one year and the next year when you got her a bag of gummy bears ((because she liKED guMMY BEARs)) she literally threw them into the bin and you were like??? and then when you apologised and gave her a necklace from tiffany’s she immediately forgave you and you did noT like that vibe) or you’d be the one who was always like “i’ll get the bill!!!! no worries!!!!!!”

and now we’re back to square 1

completely alone

because you’ll never be anything more than little miss spoilt brat who maxes out daddy’s credit card and pouts when she doesn’t get what she wants  

oh my god

you’re going to be become one of those rich old ladies who don’t have anybody to share their huGe mansions with

“hyung? you alright?” jungkook asks meekly

as soon as yoongi ran out after you all of the boys did the same

of course they kept their distance but they heard evErything from your guys’ conversation

and now yoongi’s just standing by the truck

namjoon clears his throat before jingling the keys in his fingers (they fell out of yoongi’s pocket when he ran out) “i’ll drive because i only took that one shot and i’m pretty sure it’s worn off-“

all of a sudden yoongi swINgs his fist and drives it sTraight into the side mirror

hoseok yelps in surprise and jimin immediately slaps a hand over his mouth

the mirror immediately cracks and shatters into pieces before splintering onto the ground

yoongi’s panting slightly as he inspects the damage on boTh the mirror and his fist

droplets of blood splatter onto the floor among the pieces of glass

he clenches his fist and watches as crimson continues to ooze out of the fresh wound

yoongi opens the door and hops into the truck before slamming the door shut

everyone else kinda looks at each other

poor jungkook has gone has white as a sheet of paper because he gets vEry queasy over the sight of blood

“he bent the mirror.” tae squeaks out

he did noT know yoongi was capable of causing that much damage

“everyone get into the truck. now.” namjoon hisses lowly and everyone scuRries to get in

the shards of glass crunch underneath the tires as namjoon pulls out of the parking spot

yoongi stays silent the entire ride back

he doesn’t flinch when namjoon tends to his wounds and literally pulls a thin sliver of glass out from his knuckles

it sTings and burns like hell but it doesn’t show on his face

it’s fine

yoongi knows he deserves the pain.

it has officially been twelve days since the blowout

and yoongi thinks he’s losing his mind

he can’t stop thinking about you

he can’t stop thinking about how your eyes glazed over and your bottom lip trembled

how your voice wavered as you shoved at his chest and called him an asshole

it doesn’t matter

you two would’ve never worked out anyway so maybe this fight was for the best

he just won’T come in to work the day you come and pick your car up

yeah! it doesn’t matter at all

all you are is an entitled trust fund baby who whines when she doesn’t get what she wants and when you dO get what you want it’s simply not enough

but oh

yoongi knows he’s just lying through his teeth when he says that

you’re noT just this one-dimensional princess

there’s more to you than just that

there’s so much more to you

you’re so kindhearted and generous

hE was the one who fucked up

hE was the one who got weirdly insecure and completely lashed out on you

hE was the one who made out with that jennie girl in front of you knowIng that there was something between the two of you even though it had never been established

he knEW that you liked him yet he still pulled all that shit

why?????? WHY?????

anyways

he hasn’t made a move to text or call you because he knows you’re not going to respond to him

he did draft out this long long text message but he ended up deleting it

and he was going to leave a voicemail but it was just really awkward and also he ran out of time

it kept beeping on him before he could finish his speech

he knows he’s the last person you want to hear from right now

yoongi looks down at his wrapped up knuckles and slowly makes a fist

oW

why couldn’t he have punched a piLLOW

yoongi swivels around in his chair when he hears a gentle knock on the door

“what do you want?” he gets straIght to the point and jimin raises a brow before deciding it’s okay to let himself in

“uh, i just need you to sign off on this order.” he places the clipboard on the desk

yoongi’s pen glides over the dotted line quickly and he clicks it before shoving it back into the pen holder

“cool, thanks.” jimin nods and picks the clipboard back up

before he can make it to the door yoongi speaks up again

“can i ask you something?”

jimin turns to glance over his shoulder before he turns all the way so he can face yoongi

he has a feeling he knows where this is going

“you guys heard everything, didn’t you?”

“heard wha-“

“you know what i’m talking about.” yoongi says gently

jimin knows it’s best noT to beat around the bush

after all he doesn’t want to end up like that side mirror

lol

.,,.,too soon?

“um, yes. yes, we heard everything. we didn’t mean to, though, we just ran out because-“

“on a scale from 1 to 10 how badly did i fuck it up with y/n?”

god damnit

he should’ve gotten jungkook to come in here and ask yoongi to sign the sheet

jimin immediately presses his lips together and avoids yoongi’s gaze “with all due respect hyung i really don’t think it’s any of my business-“

“i just need you to be honest with me because i have no idea what to do and i-“

“like a 20. like a colossal 20.” jimin blurts out and offers him a shrug when yoongi stares at him in shoCK

twenty????? TWENTY OUT OF TEN

yoongi lets out a groan and leans back against his chair and he stares at the ceiling fan whirring around and around

he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and curses to himself

“do you like her?”

“of course i like her, you moron.” yoongi scoffs and shoots him a dirty look

“hey you know what i don’t have to help you if i don’t want to.” jimin starts to get up and yoongi reaches out to grab onto his wrist

he lets out a sigh “i’m… i’m sorry. i know you’re just trying to help, i’m just kiNDa all over the place right now”

jimin plops back down on the seat

“so you like her?”

“as we’ve established already yeS i do like her”

“well why don’t you just tell her that?”

“i don’t… i can’t.” yoongi exasperates and tilts his head back before folding his hands on his stomach

“what do you mean?? it’s obvious she likes you back. or she at least likeD you back. i’m not sure about it with the present situation.”

yoongi gives him a warning look

“i’m not… i’m not for people like her, y’know?”

jimin snorts and leans back against the chair “what’s that supposed to mean? are you from mars? are you not human?”

“not like thAt! she’s supposed to be with like… i don’t know, a businessman or a manager or-“

“you’re a businessman aNd a manager-“

“of a car repair shop, jimin. not like some biG shot car repair shop either.”

“you’re overthinking this big time. i’m not going to sit here and deliver a whole speech about you need to follow your heart and all that bullshit - at the end of the day, y/n obviously likes you for you. so get your head out of your ass and talk to her before it’s too late.”

“what if it’s already too late?”

“trust me, it’s not. knowing y/n she probably would’ve broken into the shop in the middle of the night to get her car back if she never wanted to see you again.”

yoongi can’t help but laugh at the sight of you picking a lock with like a gucci hairpin or something

“…can i clock out early because i helped you?”

“absolutely not.”

you spoon a bite of coco puffs into your mouth and chew slowly

yuck

room temperature cereal is not pleasant

mushy cereal is not pleasant either

would not recommend

0/10

you toss the bowl into the sink carelessly and winCe at the loud clank

oops

you haven’t been up to a lot lately in the past twelve days

you go to class

you go home

you do work

you turn netflix on

you eat dinner

you take a shower

you go to bed

time seems to have meshed together nowadays

you just feel so

..,drained

your phone buzzes on the counter and your heart drops to your stomach when you see the contact name

‘min mechanics’

o no

you’re not ready

you don’t want to talk to him

your finger hovers over the decline button but it seems that your finger has a mind of its own because-

“oh shit-“ you pick the phone up as soon as you hit the accept button “hello?” you clear your throat

“y/n? hey! it’s namjoon.” you can’t help but let out a breath of relief because if it was yoongi who called you would not have known how to react

“joon, what’s up?”

“beeper is ready for you!! we polished him up and everything! you can come pick him up whenever you’d like.”

“…you can’t drive him to my place or anything?”

you hear namjoon let out a sigh from the other end of the phone

“i could do that for you… but i think you and yoongi have some things to talk about.”

“i don’t want to talk to him.” you murmur and namjoon hEars the pout in your voice

“i know you don’t, but you know you need to talk to him. it’s definitely going to be awkward but-”

“i don’t even think he wants me around, namjoon. he said it himself, we’re from two different worlds!” you huff and flop down on your bed

“obviously it’s none of my business but i just… yoongi’s happier when you’re around, y’know? and i know for a fact that he makes you just as happy - it’s pretty obvious you two are… into each other, and i just think it’d suck if you let this bump in the road ruin your relationship with him… he’s stubborn, i know…”

“he said a lot of hurtful things, joon.” you feel your eyes starting to water as you’re forCed to relive the memory “like, a lot of hurtful things.”

“i know he did. i- i don’t know what to say about that but you have to believe me when i say yoongi is not that kind of person. just… please come?”

well

it looks like you don’t have much of a choice because you do need your car back

“…i’ll swing by later, joon.”

you heard namjoon let out a breath of relief “that’s great, y/n, that’s so great. i’ll see you later!”

yes

you will noT regret this

plus you do want to clear the air with yoongi even though you hate confrontation

anD you want to apologise because it wasn’t right for you to freak out like that when he was with that other girl

you guys hadn’t established any kind of relationship so it simply didn’t make sense for you to be all bOO-hooey and-

ooH or you could just get a new car so you never have to see him again

maybe you’ll move to greece

live on a vineyard

start your own wine-making business

enjoy fresh pita and hummus and kalamata olives everyday

noPE

don’t do that

don’t throw money at your problems and expect them to go away (even though you can definitely afford to move to greece)

you are noT that cowardly person anymore

“miss? uh, we’re here.” you look out the window and feel your heart starting to race when you see that familiar sign

min mechanics

ok

it’ll be fine

just go in

find namjoon

find beeper

and get the heCk out of here

it was a mistake to wear your boots today because you are doing the complete OPPOSITE of avoiding attention

click clack click clack clickclackclickclackclickclackclickclack

“hey guys” you smile shyly when you pass by the boys

they’re all working together on a convertible and they all look shoCked that you actually came  

aLL the boys are here

which has to mean that yoongi’s around here somewhere

o god

you’re like three seconds away from getting a heart attack

okay nope

just focus

you push the door open and the bell tinkles

“joon,” you are sO relieved to see namjoon sitting behind the counter “sorry i took so long to get here.”

the door to yoongi’s office is closed

thank god

maybe he didn’t come in today

“it’s all good!” namjoon chirps and pulls out a couple sheets of paper from a file before getting up and placing them on the counter ”how have you been? uh, sign here, and here.”

“i’ve been good! a little busy with studying for finals and all that but either than that i’ve been good.” you nod and click the pen “how about you?”

“i’ve been doing well. i’ve been watching these nature documentaries on netflix-“

“-planet earth?” your hand pauses on the sheet and for the firSt time in twelve days you flash a genuine smile

“planet earth!” namjoon laughs lightly “it’s a great series, i love it.”

it’s a good thing you and namjoon have good small-talking skills otherwise it would just be compLETE silence right now

“okay, there you go.” you set the pen down and namjoon takes the sheets from you and double-checks that you signed everything

“i’ll go and get beeper ready for you! just wait here, i’ll be riGht back.”

“wait but-“ before you know it namjoon walks past you and leaves you aloNE in the office and you start chewing on your bottom lip nervously

maybe you can go hide in the washroom til namjoon comes back

yep

sounds like a good plan-

all of a sudden the office door opens and you feel your heart stop

frICK

“hey namjoon have you seen the- …oh, uh…“

“hi.”

“hey.”

a beat of awkward silence goes by

the tension is sO thick and you’ve never been so uncomfortable in your entire life

“i was just- sorry, i was looking for namjoon.”

“oh, he, um, he’s getting bee- my car, he’s getting my car for me.” you clear your throat and gesture towards the front door

“cool, cool.” yoongi slaps a hand against the frame of the door gently and nods

christ this is awkward

what happened to that small-talking skill girL

“alright, y/n! he’s all set and ready to go!” namjoon sticks his head in and he falters when he registers what’s going on

his eyes flicker in between you and yoongi “oh, sorry, was i interrupting-“

“nO no you weren’t! i’m comIng” you move at lightning speed to get as far away from yoongi as possible  

“y/n wait-“ there’s no way in hell yoongi’s going to let you get away agaIN

he’ll find another dang mirror to punch if he lets that happen

namjoon hands him the keys to beeper along with a notepad “you should probably do the final check on the car instead of me”

“yeah, thanks man.” yoongi tucks the notepad into his back pocket before jogging out

“heY jimin did a really good job with the polishing!” you smooth your hands over beeper’s hood “beeper’s blinDing me-“ you turn around and jump in surprise when you see that it’s yoongi standing behind you and not namjoon “….where’s nam-“

“please shut up for like one second.”

ooOOOKAY

noT the greatest opening line!!!!!!!!!!!!

oof

yikes

…,,.yooF

he’s nERVOUS OKAY

he wasn’t expecting to have to deal with this sO quickly

if he’d had known that you were coming today he would’ve prepared some flash cards or something but this is his chance to just be completely real with you and get everything off his chest

“y/n, i’m sorry. really, i am. i’m not very… good with apologies but this is me trying my best.” he clears his throat and he looks like he’s having a hard time collecting everything that he wants to say to you “all the things i said to you… god, i was a complete asshole and you didn’t deserve any of that. i-i didn’t even mean any of that shit i said, y’know? i think i just… i got all weird and insecure because i saw you with jin and i just… it reminded me that we… we’re… i’m… i mean, i’m a mechanic, for crying out loud. i fix cars for a living and he had a damn gold watch that probably costs more than my rent!! i understand if you don’t ever wanna talk to me again, i totally get it, i wouldn’t wanna see me again either after being spoken to like that but i just needed to say sorry to you to let you know that i really, really didn’t mean a word of what i said. you deserve so much better than me.” yoongi shrugs and scratches the back of his neck “i don’t know. it’s stupid. i’m stupid. i don’t-”

“the only difference between you and jin that i really care about is the fact that i don’t like jin, but i… i like you.” you admit shyly and if your face wasn’t red before it certainLy is now “and it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a mechanic, y’know? i’m sorry, too. i said some things that i didn’t mean either… i really appreciated you asking me to hang out with you and the guys and that place wasn’t even that grubby!! i was just being- i don’t know, i think i just mad at you because you.. dId all that with jennie-“

“-which was the worst kiss of my life if that makes you feel any better-“

“i’ll forgive you if you forgive me?” you suggest and yoongi nods enthusiastically

“i will find a way to make it up to you, i swear.”

“also, you’re a moron.”

“wha- well, yeah, i guess i deserve that but-“

“okay now it’s youR turn to shut up for like one second.” you stick your hand up and yoongi clams up immediately “you’re a moron for worrying that i was going to pick jin over you just because he’s a millionaire-“

“he’s a millionaire-!”

“because i could give leSS of a shit about that! you’re really sweet and kind and i think you’re awfully funny aNd not to mention you’re pretty easy on the eyes-“ okay y/n reel it back a bit lmao “a-anyways yeah that’s- look the point is you shouldn’t be insecure over something as silly as your job..,,. in faCt i think the whole mechanic thing is actually kinda sexy”

oKAY that’s noT reeling it back at ALL BUT GREAT GOD JO B you said what you wanted to say

“also…what the hell happened to your hand?”

oh right

yoongi glances down at his wrapped up hand

should he tell you that he punched a side mirror and had a shard of glass stuck in his knuckles

“eh, don’t worry about it. it was just an accident.” he waves it off

hm

you’ll find out soOner or later

“so-“ yoongi clears his throat “…you like me or you like-like me?” yoongi raises a brow and offers you a cocky smirk and you immediately scoff in response and cross your arms before looking in the other direction

“don’t flatter yourself i was just being nice”

“don’t lie to me now” yoongi steps closer to you and hooks a finger under your chin before turning your head so that you’re facing him “you got anything you wanna ask me?”

your eyes immediately widen

well

yes

you have a question for him of course you have a question for him

hoW do you even approach a situation like this do you just bluRt it out????

“do you, um, do you…” you puff your cheeks out in frustration and immediately divert your gaze to the ground

you start toeing at the ground nervously (which is something you haven’t done since you were like 12) while your fingers tug at the hem of your blouse

“like… i-i just… do you… do you like me? …back? do you like me back?” you finAlly get it out of your system and you feel like your entire face is on fire “it’s just… sometimes i get the feeling that you like me and other times i get the feeling that you’re just being friendly and i’ve never really, y’know, i don’t have a lot of experience with this kinda stuff so i just need you to tell me straight up if you like me back or if i’m just being delusional…”

“what do you mean by not having a lot of experience with ‘this kinda stuff’? you mean going out and getting something you want by yourself?” yoongi teases and your cheeks flush even further

wow

now that you two have forgiven each other it seems like he’s reverteD back to his usual self

yoongi likes this

this is a fun game

obviously you’re used to getting what you want with the snap of your fingers

and yoongi is a firm believer in the idea that in order to get what you want you gotta work hard

you gotta put in the effort!!!!

yeah suRe he knows that you like him just as much as he likes you (and thaT gets him super excited)

but he’s not going to give in to you that easy

no no

if you want him you better shoW him that you want him

“well yes buT also i meant like… boy-related experiences? i dunno” god this is humiliating

you hATE this

if you could turn back time you wouldn’t have brought this shit up in the first place you should’ve just hoPPEd into beeper and nyOOmed out of the garage “i haven’t even had my first kiss yet so like- look just teLL me if you like me back or not because i’m about to lose my-“  

“wait- you’ve never been kissed?” yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion and he tilts his head

how is that possible

how is it possible that you’ve never been kissed

ok well

now he feels a little bad for dragging this whole thing out

and also

he’s never seen you so… insecure? before

you can’t even look him in the eye

“are you kidding me?”

what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!

of course he likes you!!!!!

he’s liked you from day one!! when you walked in with your leather booties and your heart-shaped sunglasses and your little ‘hellooOOOoOo’

he liked you even more when you shoved your clobbered side mirror into his chest and insisted he fix your car right now immediately

and he liked you even even more when jungkook was straight up flexing in front of you but all you were paying attention to was him with your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your cheeks all pink and rosy

that was for him

all for him

“well you don’t have to say it like thAt” you grumble and reach up to scratch at the back of your neck “look thiS was stupid just forget i said anythi-“

“i like you back. i definitely like you back.” yoongi admits casually as he scribbles something on his little notepad

“you- oh. okay.”

ok

you didn’t think thiS far ahead

what’s your next move

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“so what are you gonna do about it?” yoongi tucks his notepad into his pocket and crosses his arms before looking at you expectantly

uHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

he pokes his tongue into his cheek and tilts his head when you continue to stand there and stare at him blankly like a deer in headlights “ah. so you’re not going to do anything about it. alright.” he sighs and turns to head back to the office “i’m just going to bring namjoon back out here and he’ll take care of-“

and before you know it you’re grabbing onto his wrist and yanking him back and-

yoongi feels like his heart is about to explode when you pull him down and press your lips against his

his eyes flutter shut and he places his hands on your hips and gives you a gentle squeeze

your arms are wrapped loosely around his neck and you pull away with flushed cheeks

oh god

u just kissed yoongi

thAt was your first kiss

mission success!!!!!!!!!

“…there, i did something about it” you grumble and puLL your arms back

and then it hits you

oh my god i just kissed yoongi and woW his lips are like supEr soft and he tastes like cherry which makes sense because he loves those lollipops-

“you’re so cute.” yoongi laughs and nudges you back til you’re sitting on beeper’s hood

you’re pretty sure you’re not supposed to be sitting on beeper

“what are you doing? i-“

you know what you could care leSS about beeper because yoongi’s kiSsing you!!!! again!!!

AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

:~)

you have your fingers curled up in yoongi’s jumpsuit as you kiss him back and you let out a little whimper

yoongi’s thumbs circle your kneecaps before they drag a cheEky trail up the inside of your thighs

he squeezes your thighs and encourages you to open them wide enough so that he can stand in between them

“you good?” he mutters against your lips and you nod quickly and pull him closer

goD you’re so CUTE

he’s so soft for you it’s insane

he pulls your hand away from his jumpsuit and brings it up so that you can wrap your fingers around the nape of his neck

you immediately slide your hand up and tangle your fingers into his soft locks “there you go”

yoongi pulls away from you and revels in the small whimper that you let out

god

aren’t you a vision

your lips are swollen and glossy and your eyes are all blown out and your cheeks are warm and rosy

all that just from a little bit of kissing

“why’d you stop?” you pout and tug at his wrist

“you’d pass out if i continued.” he smirks and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear “and it appears we have an audience, don’t we?” he gets a little louder towards the end of his question and you immediately twist around to look behind you

sure enouGH the boys are all crouched behind a truck staring at the two of you like a bunch of PERVS

they immediately break off and pretend like they weren’t just watching you guys maKe out with each other

jungkook and taehyung bump into each other in their rush to head back to their stations and you snort at the sight

you turn back to face yoongi

“it was probably a good thing we were interrupted” yoongi leans down and gives you another quick kiss before helping you off the hood of the car

“what makes you say that?”

“i was fully ready to go down on you on top of-“

“bEEPER??” you gasp in mock horror and slap your hands over the top of beeper’s hood “you were going to defile me on top of my own car??”

“i mean…” yoongi shrugs before nodding

take you over the hood of your car?

heck yeah he would

he’d take you over the hood of anY car

“don’t listen to him beeper,.,.,. i’d neVer do that to you…”

if yoongi didn’t know any better it’d probably be safe to say that you might be a little tOo in love with beeper

yoongi is a busy man

he has a lot of cars he has to patch up and a lot of parts he has to put together

but uh

making out with u in the driver’s seat of his truck is a much better way to pass the time

he’ll just get the others to take care of the parts for him later

“u know i’m supposed to be replacing a muffler right now…” yoongi lifts his face and brushes his lips against yours teasingly

you can’t help but grin when you pull away slightly and yoongi squeezes your waist in warning

“u know that sounds like a you problem” your nose nudges against his and yoongi tilts his head upwards to kiss you again

since the two of you made up and forgave each other you’ve been visiting the shop moRe than three to four times a week

you practically live at the shop now

and yoongi doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing

on one hand he likes having you around and he likes getting to kiss u whenever he wants

but on the other hand

it’s vEry distracting having you around and getting to kiss u whenever he wants because he aLways wants to kiss you

another bAd thing

whenever he kisses you the others get all oOoOooohHHhHhhh and yoongi is always so tempted to hurl a wrench at all of them

anyways

yoongi’s on his lunch break (that ended twenty minutes ago) and he decided to sneak you into his truck that’s parked in the back alley

his lips move with yours slowly and he revels in the little whimper that leaves you when he nips at your bottom lip

you’re acting extra cute for somE reason

and you look extra cute too

you’re wearing a pretty floral romper paired with your faVourite boots and once again you will never admit to anybody that it took you an hour and a half (you’re getting better) to throw it on

you decide that you’re going to be bold today and you find your hands slowly sliding down yoongi’s chest til they reach the buckle of his belt

yoongi reaches down quickly and wraps his slim fingers around your wrist before offering you a smirk and a tilt of his head “someone’s a little eager, no?”

“don’t you want me?” you push your bottom lip out in a pout and yoongi leans in to give you a lil peck

“course i do.” he chuckles lowly before raising a brow “but how about we start off with something more mild, hm?” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before his fingers glide down your jaw and he hooks one under your chin

“like what?” you lean down a little and nip at his fingers playfully and yoongi has never felt more fuckiGn endeared in his life

“do you trust me?”

“course i do.” you drape your arms around his shoulders

“alright, let’s just get you settled right here…” he lifts you up off his lap and onto his right leg instead

his.,., thigh?

you separate your legs so each knee settles on the leather seat on either side of his clothed thigh

ur not..,,.s ure what’s going on right now

but it’s once you get comfortable that you begin to feel the friction

“now what do i- oH-“ you gasp noisily when yoongi’s leg presses upwards and suddenly you spaSm a bit of out of surprise  

tingles shoot up your spine and your fingers twitch slightly on yoongi’s chest

“that feel good?”

“i- i’m not sure yet.” you blink down at yoongi’s thigh and he can’t help but laugh

“need me to help?”

“that would be ideal, yes.”

“well, it’s pretty easy. you just-“ he places his hands on your waist and pushes you back and imMediately you feel another spark of pleasure “and then you come this way,” he pulls you back and flexes his thigh underneath you and you let out a little hiccup

how..,,.intriguing

eventually you get the hang of things

you’re kinda doing it on your own but yoongi’s still guiding you back and forth a little

“that’s it, doll, just like that,” yoongi breathes out, his grip tightening on your waist as he helps you ride his leg

he leans back against the seat and watches you with hooded eyes as you continue to get yourself off on his thigh

your romper and your panties are botH very thin so you can just feel the rough fabric of yoongi’s jeans rubbing up against you

you’re not going too hard but you’re not going too soft either

yoongi swallows thickly because now he has a pretty good picture of what you’d look like riding his c-

“christ-“ you gasp as yoongi raises his leg and pushes riGht up into you as he leans in and attaches his mouth to your neck

“now does it feel good?” he murmurs against you and you gasp and wrap your fingers around the nape of his neck

you can’t even describe how amazing this feels and all your thoughts are just white noise because holy shit this feels so good

you nod quickly and let out a whimper when you feel another wave of pleasure tremor through your body

god

you’re so soft n warm

and so submissive

“yoongi, please...” you don’t even know what you’re pleading for here but that’s all that’s able to come out of your mouth

he looks down and groans quietly when he notices the damp patch on his jeans

“oh,” yoongi coos mockingly, “you sweet thing, you... i wanna wreck you.”

you let out a whine and press your forehead against his shoulder as you continue grinding down on his thigh

your desperation pulls a low moan from yoongi’s throat and he shifts underneath you

“there you go, baby… such a good girl…”

look

you’re not entirely sure what happened here

but somehow you shifted from yoongi’s thigh to yoongi’s crotch

and yoongi just wanted to make this about you so he also doesn’t know how this happened but boY is he glad it happened

you’re literally going to make him cream his pants like a overly-hormonal 14 year old boy and he hasn’t done that in a long loNG TIME but you know what he does noT mind

“ah, fuck-“ yoongi growls and clenches his jaw as his calloused fingers dig into your supple flesh as you continue grinding down on him

you know how yoongi mentioned earlier he had a rough idea of what you’d look like riding him

well now he has a really reALLY clear idea of what you’d look like riding him

he can tell you’re close by the way your breathing has gotten heavier and your cheeks have become more flushed

and he is definitely going to keep this image of you tucked in his brain for safekeeping

you grow dizzy from pleasure and all of your senses are in ovErdrive and all you can think of is yoongi yoongi yoongi yooNGi

“yoonGi, i think i- nngh, yoongi-!“ yoongi’s hand slides up your thigh and curves your waist before he’s gripping at your ass to mould you to him

“look at you, you pretty little thing,” yoongi groans when your hips stutter

you’re driving him absolutely wild  

“lemme hear you, doll, nice n loud for me-“

yoongi is panting because goddamN you really seem like you want him to come before you  

he can bArely keep it together but there’s no way he’s going to come first

he pushes you down on him and lifts his hips up at the same time and you throw your head back with a breathless moan

“i-i- oh, t-that feels really- hAh-“ yoongi sucks a hickey into your skin and continues forcing you down on him

“you have no idea how badly i wanna be inside of you-“ he growls lowly and that does the trick

your toes curl as you’re finaLLY pushed over the edge and you swear you see black dots in your vision, whimpering through your release  

the sound of you gasping his name out and the sight of you trembling above him is what eventually gets to yoongi and he curses to himself as he reaches his high and gasps your own name in return

you feel a warm gush from underneath you and your eyes widen at the wet spot on yoongi’s crotch area

he gives you a few final thrusts before he slides his hands down from your waist so that they rest on the tops of your thighs  

you’re still breathing heavily as you lean down to press your forehead against his

“hi.” yoongi grins and gives u a little kiss and you immediately shy away from him and he feels his heart practically exploDe in his chest

“hi.” you murmur as you keep your gaze on the silver chain around his neck

you reach down to fiddle with it because you don’t know whaT to do now

yoongi reaches up and hooks a finger underneath your chin so that he can finally catch your gaze “you okay?”

you nod shyly and feel your cheeks flush again

“what’s gotten into you, hm?” yoongi teases and leans in to give you another quick kiss “ya can’t get all shy on me now when you were humping me like a rabbit in heat literally thirty seconds ago”

“yOoNgI”

“no but really!! what’s up?”

“i just like u a lot” you admit and your nose scrunches

yoongi grins and feels his heart skip a beat

he reaches up and pinches your nose and you immediately scowl and flick his hand away

“i like you too, doll.”

out of all the mechanic shops in the city

you are vEry happy that beeper decided to run out of gas a minute away from min mechanics

:-)

so

here’s the deal

you asked yoongi to teach you how to change a tire and he was understandably vEry confused because on a list of things that you would never want to do he thinks it’s pretty safe to assume that ‘change a tire’ is on that list

he told you that if you ever got a flat tire all you’d need to do is call him and he’d come to save the day

but you defended your decision saying that you thought it was good for you aND it was an important life skill

because it is!!!! kinda??

for someone who was very adamant on learning how to change a tire you don’t seem to be paying much attention to the actual changing of the tire

“remember? righty tighty, lefty loosie.” yoongi places his hands over yours and helps you turn the wrench

he has a hand placed on your waist as he hovers over you from behind and your mouth tugs up in a subtle smirk when you feel him push himself against your bum (it wasn’t on purpose though because he’s just trying to get that lug nut loose since it’s screwed in real tight)

“righty loosie lefty tighty i got it”

.,.,,.,.,he’s sure you’ll figure it out eventually

“i’ll be back in twenty minutes to check up on you!”

“wait but don’t you wanna stay here to watch-“

“twenty minutes!” you scowl as you watch yoongi head back to the office

what the heCK

your plan has been foiled

you didn’t actually want to have to change aLL the tires!!!!!!!

you nearly fall flat on your ass when you give give the next lug nut a firm yaNk

aLas nothing happens

you don’t know how you’re supposed to change four tires when you can barely handle four lug nuts

aH

maybe if you put some grease around them they’ll be easier to unscrew

wow

you’re a genius

“did you manage to change all the-“

oh

now yoongi knows why you like it when he has smudges of grease all over his hands and his face

you’re gloWing from the exertion of changing tires and your (his) shirt is riding up a bit because you tied it up into a little knot

and he didn’t notice this earlier but your butt looks reALLy good in those jeans

“i did it! i changed every single tire on my own!!!” you wipe your hands on the rag before giving one of the tires a firm kick “look at these bAd boys! c’mon c’mon give me another set of tires to change that was so FUN” you bounce up and down on excitedly

you reach up to wipe your cheek with the back of your hand

“you should take a break and join me in my office!” yoongi takes your hand and starts dragging you towards the office

ya he’s 110% going to go down on you in his office

“or-“ you pull back a little and make him stop walking “oR you can give me another set of tires to change and you can go back to your office?”

yoongi freezes

.,,.what?

“you… you want to change more tires?”

“mhm!!”

“but i just- you don’t wanna go into my office?”

“why would i want to go to your office? there are no tires for me to change there.”

“.,,.go talk to hoseok to see if he has any cars for you to-“

“okAY BYE”

o god

he’s created a monster

ah

finals season

a wonderful time where students are forced to coop themselves up and build fortresses out of their notes and textbooks

you’re not sure how you survived through your finals considering you had like fiVe of them

but the point is

you are DONE

you’re finally done!!!!! you’re FREE

a downside to finals (adding to the other many maNy downsides of finals) is that you forced yourself to stay away from yoongi (and u made him promise not to come see you even tho he really reaLLy wanted to come see you) because you didn’t want to be distracted and min yoongi is a big big distraction

which means you haven’t seen yoongi in nearly two weeks

you’ve texted him and you’ve called him but the phone calls are brief and the text messages are short because time is precious when it comes to exams!!!!

it might not seem like it but you are (surprisingly) vEry studious

yoongi called u a nerd when he face-timed you one night and you were wearing your thick reading glasses because your eyes were starting to give up on you from like 6 hours of staring at your laptop  

“heLLooOOoooo” yoongi perks up when he hears a very familiar voice

he pokes his head up over the raised hood of the car

ah

theRE you are

yoongi grins from ear to ear when he sees you bouncE excitedly into the shop like a little bunny

once you spot him your eyes liGHT UP

“yoongi!!!!!!!!! i missed u!!!!!”

“yeah, baby? you missed me?” yoongi tosses the rag over his shoulder “how much did you miss me?” he teases and wraps an arm around your waist before pulling you closer

“missed you a whole lot.” you breathe out and your eyes flicker down to the lollipop in his mouth

“how were your finals?”

“they were good…” you’re barely paying attention to what yoongi’s saying because all you can focus on is how slick n red yoongi’s lips are

and then

a lightbulb appears above your head

“that’s great! i’ll take you out for ice cream as soon as i-“

you yank the lollipop out of his mouth and yoongi squawks in surprise

and then you’re wrapping your lips around the bright red sweet in a manner that seems far from innocent “what flavour is this?” you hum around the lollipop

yoongi’s mouth goes dry and he swallows thickly “cherry, i-i think. cherry.”

you pull it out from your lips with a pop and stick it back into yoongi’s mouth “i like strawberry more.” you wiggle out of his grip before patting his cheek “alright, i’ll leave you alone now!”

“oh nO you don’t-“ yoongi’s hand darts out and he grabs onto your wrist before tugging you backwards “what makes you think you can get away with doing something like that so easily???”

“because you like me and ur not going to do anyThing about it” you giggle when his fingers dig into your sides playfully

yoongi pauses and raises a brow at you

“…is that a challenge?”

“you tell me” you shrug innocently

you know

you should really learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes

or maybe not

because you’re in a preTty nice situation right now

“you’ll stay nice n quiet for me, won’t you, doll?” yoongi hums against your neck

your skin burns with his touch as he slides his hand over the tops of your thighs before he’s nudging your knees apart so he can settle in comfortably

“no promises.” you giggle softly when you feel his hands sliding underneath your sundress

yoongi pauses all of a sudden and you’re abOUt to retract your statement but then-

“gimme a sec. i’ll be back.”

o

ok

you hear him leave the room and close the door behind him and you start swinging your legs back n forth

and then you stop

oh god

you hope he’s not like.,.,,. puniShing you or anything

he’s not mean enough to leave you high and dry like this right

.,,.,.,.right

yoongi shuts the door behind him as he comes back in

he’s hiding something behind his back

“whatcha got there?”

he takes your chin in between his pointer finger and his thumb and then he taps your bottom lip gently with his thumb “open.”

you part your lips slightly

yoongi slides a lollipop into your mouth and you immediately hum contently

peaches and cream!!!!!!!!

needless to say the lollipop actually does a pretty solid job at keeping you quiet

well

kinda

yoongi might have to pull out his spare bandana or something for extrA reinforcements but he’s kind of preoccupied right now

yoongi’s tattooed arm wraps around your middle and he has a hand gripping your hip as he presses you flush to him

“yoOngi- oh, god, yoongi-“ you gasp

he buries his face in your neck before starting to kiss and suck marks into your skin

“so fucking tight-“ yoongi grunts and you nEarly crunch down on the lollipop when he hits that golden spot

“mmpH-“ you suck exTra hard around the lollipop when yoongi picks up the pace

you can barely keep yourself up

you’re tempted to just floP down on the desk and let him have you like that

each snap of his hips against your lower back is more powerful than the next

ur literally going to break a tooth this lollipop thing was not a good idea

you yank it out of your mouth and it drops to the desk with a clatter

also it was making you drool big time and you don’t know if that’s a particularly sexy look or not

honestly you’re pretty sure yoongi doesn’t care whether you’re loud or not because yOU could care less about your volume

“f-fuck, yoongi,” your eyes roll to the back of your head when yoongi’s hand slithers in between your legs “oh, my god-“ your knuckles turn white as you grip the sides of his desk

“too loud, baby,” yoongi smirks as he nips at your shoulders gently

“s-sorry, ‘m sorry- nngh-“ you can feel his stomach muscles clenching against your back and that only spurs you on

“you gonna cum for me, hm?” you can hear the strain in his voice and you can’t help but feel a liTTle cocky now that you know you have just as much of an effect as he has on you

“c’mon, be a good girl n cum for me…” he rasps against the shell of your ear and that’s all it takes for you to completely loSe it

you immediately slump against the desk as your arms give out

you’re a whimpering mess as yoongi continues fucking you through your orgasm

his hand falls from in between your legs to grip your hip again and he presses soothing kisses along your back

“i wouldn’t suggest going in there if i were you.” namjoon warns as jimin approaches the door to the general office

“why not? and why.,.,. are you sitting out here instead of at the counter.,,.,.”  

“why do you think?”

“yoOngi- oh, god, yoongi-“

jimin gawks and yanks his hand away from the door handle as if it shOcked him “do- do they know we’re all still here???”

“yep.” namjoon hums nonchalantly and flips to the next page of his book “just give ‘em some time.”

“how muCH time??”

“i think half an hour will suffice.”

“by the sounds of it it seems like they’re going to want more than half an hour.” jimin mutters  

okay

you’re pretty sure jungkook was a serial killer in his past life

“sTOP IT yOU PSYCHOPATH” you shriek and make your fouRth round sprinting around the garage

jungkook cackles with glee behind you as he continues pointing the electric drill at you and pushing down on the trigger

you haven’t looked behind you but you can heAR the vRRRt vRt vRRRRTttTTT and you are scared out of your MIND

you made an offhand comment about how you feel like you should start working out and jungkook graciously offered to help you with some cardio

but you didn’t know what would mean him chasing you around the garage threatening to drill a hole into your head

and at first it was funny but now you genuinely think he wants to screw you (not like thAt)

“ooF-“ you stumble riGht into yoongi’s chest and you would’ve fallen flat on your ass had he not reached out and grabbed onto you

“what the hell are you doing??? that’s so dangerous!” yoongi snaps as jungkook finally catches up to you “if you’re going to waste your time by goofing off i’ll make you stay extra late to clean the washrooms - and that goes the same for you, miss ‘i need to finish my essay’.”

uM

why are you getting scolded??? you don’t even woRK here

maybe they’re all psychopaths and its just taken you a while to notice

“oh pLease like you weren’t goofing off earlier” jungkook grumbles and hands the drill over to yoongi

“what are you talking about?”

“don’t act like you weren’t fucking y/n into next week like two hours ago-“

yoongi gives him a warning look and-

vRT VRT

jungkook screeches

ok ya that was not enjoyable now he can see why you were so terrified

“yOoOooooonGGGGGiiiIiI-“

“y/n, i’m really, really busy right now” yoongi points out as he gestures to all the parts lying around him

“i know, but i need you to come here for a sec!!!!” he can SEE how big your pout is even though you’re halfway across the garage

“can’t you wait for like another 20 minutes-“

“pLeEEeEEeeeEEAAaaAaaASssSssEEEEe-“

yoongi lets out a huff and rolls his eyes playfully because he’s pretty sure you’re not going to cut it out if he doesn’t go over to you right now

hoseok snorts when he sees you pull out the puppy dog eyes

“you go take care of that, i’m sure we’ll survive without you for five minutes”

cLAnK

yoongi and hoseok both whIp their heads around to the source of the sound and jungkook’s standing there with a sheepish smile on his face

he just dropped a fuel filter it’s not a big deal

“alright, i’ll be right back.” yoongi tosses the rag over his shoulder before jogging over to you

“what’s up?”

you flip to the next page of the magazine without looking up at yoongi

“i’d like a lollipop please.”

//……r u kidding

yoongi’s eyes flicker to the office door “…you’re like 10 steps away from the office. i was halfway across the garage.”

you put the magazine down and pout up at him “please? strawberry, preferably.”

yoongi narrows his eyes at you and crosses his arms “why am i doing this for you again?”

“because you like me” you respond simply and shrug casually

“ah, i guess you got me there.” he leans down and you grin exciTedly because u always like kissing yoongi

you instinctively lean up and purse your lips

but you’re moRe than surprised when he doesn’t kiss you but hovers over your mouth instead

“you have feet. get one for yourself.” he murmurs lowly

he gives your top lip a gentle little kith before patting your cheek and heading back to the boys

wha-

okay noW you’re definitely getting your dad to sue min mechanics

[modosphere]

Silent Night

Christmas Eve Styles Family Home Malibu, California 2023

“They look so adorable, don’t they?” Rose smiled, appearing next to me. I nodded, turning back to Ed, Dany and Hughie as they stared, unblinking, at the newest range of Power Rangers storm through a skyscraper. It was extremely gushy of me, I knew, but seeing Dany clutch his red Power Ranger in awe made me feel happy. “Looks are so deceiving…” Rose added, making me laugh. She  had that right - especially since Ari had been born, I’d learnt that despite all of the innocent looks, brother and sister were anything but.

Maybe if it didn’t remind me of myself and Adam so much, I wouldn’t have minded as much as I should.

I followed Rose into the kitchen after looking at the boys one more time, the three of them practically falling off the sofa, they were watching the TV so raptly. 

Christmas with Rose had officially become tradition. Everyone put it down to Rose’s food and amazing hosting skills, but I knew better, even if I didn’t say it - it was understood between Rose, Harry and I that even though Rose had never gotten her memories back, hosting Christmas was something she was comfortable with; like the constancy of it was therapy for her or something. 

Five years. Five years since the accident and it still felt too close, too raw. It still hurt, knowing Rose couldn’t remember such a huge part of her - our - lives - and having to watch her hope deteriorate. No matter how many times the doctors had warned her that her memories returning was becoming less and less likely, she’d never given up, saying her brain would magically heal itself like one of those medical miracles she always saw on TV. She’d just kept… Waiting. Yes, okay, she’d still lived her life while she did wait, but she hadn’t been living properly - she hadn’t been living her life as Rose Avery. 

Just a few months into her job with with the London Met, she’d given it up - and not because of her pregnancy with Ed, but because she’d claimed she couldn’t be “taken seriously” when the paparazzi were constantly snapping pictures of her and Harry together. Of course, I’d known that was a lie. Rose Avery, or what little had been left of her, was who had sent in the application for the London Met job; but Rose didn’t know that person anymore. So by the time Ed was born, the only version of herself she knew was Rose Styles.

Of course, that didn’t mean my best friend wasn’t in there any more. It just meant she… She wasn’t exactly the same best friend I’d always had. I’d always dodged the question when she’d asked, but the old Rose wouldn't have been able to adapt to being a 1D wife as quickly as this Rose had; she’d charmed the fans, embraced the limelight, where the old Rose would have been too insecure to make it last. It had been a good change.

But she was more stubborn than before. So it had hurt more and more to watch her diligently wait for a brain miracle that wasn’t about to happen.

It was silly to think about now, but… Well, nobody else had bothered to keep hope for Rose’s memories as more and more time had gone on. Why should they? Rose losing her memories somehow made everything… Easier. Liam and Harry’s underlying issues stopped existing when Rose couldn’t notice them and feel insecure about them anymore and Eddie had… Extracted himself from the situation by then. The stupid boy had given up too, and now that Rose only remembered Ryan as a friend, he’d considered hanging around as pointless.

I’d tried to maintain hope, really. But deep down, I’d lost it before Rose had. How could I? Just because I’d not believed in happily-ever-afters only to have one handed to me at the last minute, it didn’t mean I expected that to happen all the time. Too much time had passed for Rose to suddenly just… Remember. And honestly, the entire time, it felt like the Rose who I’d known before the accident was in there somewhere deep down, wishing she wouldn’t fully remember. Her life was simpler this way.

But Rose wasn’t stupid - after two years, she finally accepted that her memories were gone.

It hadn’t been pretty.

I’d felt so… Obsolete. Even if she couldn’t remember it, how many times had Rose been there for me? Pulled me through, made me smile when I’d thought I couldn’t anymore? But when Rose finally accepted that she’d lost access to an entire part of her life, I… I was useless.

What kind of a friend did that make me?

The only word I had to describe how she’d been when the doctors had told her there was nothing more they could do, is depressed. She stopped going out as much, she struggled to find things to do at home. She just… Lost interest, until one day she and Harry had gotten into a ridiculous argument in front of a two-year old Darcy.

It had been insane. Rose and Harry didn’t argue; they sniped and sighed and moaned at each other, but they didn’t argue, not properly - certainly not the way Aman and I did when we kicked off, in a flash of fireworks and shouting. But Rose had gone totally insane - shouting, screaming, throwing things. Once she’d calmed down - and that took a week, a whole week of ranting coffee sessions and threats of divorce -, I’d managed to get her to agree to getting some time away. It had actually been Harry’s idea, but… Harry had been public enemy number one at the time.

She’d spent two weeks away, two terrifying weeks where I didn’t know where my best friend was or if she was okay. Even though Harry had promised he’d be able to handle things by himself, Ed had stayed with us for a while. We’d been home in London and Harry and Rose hadn’t bought their California place yet - so Ed and Darcy stayed with us during the day and Harry took baby Darcy between recording the new album of the time. 

That said, it was no secret that Harry being alive this long after being given responsibility of his own breathing was nothing short of a miracle - so I’d made sure he and Darcy had spent plenty of time with us, too. If Rose needed time away to get her shit together, then fine, but I’d at least make sure her husband didn’t lose himself and his baby girl to baby wolves during the time she was away.

Rose had come back completely refreshed, and had acted as if nothing had happened. As cruel as it sounded, seeing her finally so content with herself had made me relieved. In an odd way, the accident had set her free in a way she never would have been if she hadn’t lost her memory - and now that the gap in her mind was here to stay, what was the purpose of wishing it wasn’t? Yes, I wished Rose remembered all of our jokes and all of the milestones we’d had when she’d first arrived in London, but I still had her here, with me - we were still together. So my selfishness, for once, just had to shut up and deal.

So even though it was a really dumb thing to reminisce about so much later… I still felt so proud of Rose. She looked so elegant in the sleeveless, olive-green dress she’d taken at least a month to choose. Elegant and content. 

We’d gotten through it all.

There was a party in full swing, with tinsel wrapped around the banisters and scented candles lit in every room. Rose had hired catering staff to keep serving guests snacks and fancy flutes of champagne, even though she had cooked one of the most amazing meals I’d ever witnessed for dinner. The guests were mainly industry friends of Rose and Harry, some of them people I knew from way back when, but all of the familiar faces were here too - Niall was here with Alanna, Hughie and Izzy, who was sporting her ridiculously tiny pregnant stomach at seven months; Liam and Kara were here with the twins, who were called that even though they weren’t; Ryan was kicking around somewhere, chatting up some models. Rose’s family hadn’t been in touch since the accident, but she had a new family now - us. And we weren’t going anywhere.

The only couples that were missing were Louis and Vivienne and, of course, my beloved ex-husband and ex-childhood best friend. Lou and Vivienne were spending Christmas in Mexico as part of their honeymoon… Yep, honeymoon. The two idiots had finally stopped playing with one another and had decided to get married in a tiny ceremony in the middle of nowhere, with just their family as witnesses and baby Scarlett as a bridesmaid. Although we’d all teased them about being cut out, we weren’t angry - honestly, so long as Vivienne was finally committing, I was more than happy. She’d taken long enough. That girl’s commitment issues were legendary and God only knew how Louis had been not-so-subtly trying to tie Vivienne down for years now.

As for Zayn… Well, I didn’t miss him in any way. He’d finally gotten one child ahead of me - Layla had given birth in England to their newest son, Syed.

It was pathetic, really, how Zayn felt the need to get Layla to pop out another baby the moment he found out I was pregnant. Mikael, his eldest, had been announced as on the way less than three months after I’d announced I was pregnant with Dany. It was sad, really. No, actually, not sad - downright pathetic. It also turned out that Rianna, their only girl, had been cooking in Layla’s stomach when Zayn had tried to make my and Aman’s baby his through raping me.

God, I hated him. It hit me in waves, the space between them always making me think I was over it, but… The mere mention of him made me want to tear him to pieces. He’d seen Ari, my baby Ari, as some sort of sick substitute for his pitfalls as a husband when we’d been married. Who did that? Who tried to hijack the innocence of a brand new baby, to try and use in their own sick agenda?

Oh, right. The creep I’d once made the mistake of marrying.

It really was a godsend that I’d met Aman. If I’d hadn’t, I would have always just assumed I had really shitty taste in men.

I did worry about Layla, every now and then - though reason, as well as everyone I knew, told me I shouldn’t. I didn’t care if it sounded egotistical; every fibre of my being told me that Zayn had married one of my friends, someone who had been at my wedding the first time around, out of pure spite. Did he treat her right? From what I’d heard and seen he did, but I knew better than anyone what a two-faced prat Zayn really was.

That said, Layla and I weren’t built the same. Zayn couldn’t just get up and leave Layla whenever he wanted - she’d take him for everything he had if he dared. In a sick way, they kind of deserved one another.

Anyway - it was because Zayn and Layla were still in England that Aman and I were celebrating Christmas with Rose for the first time in at least two years. It was nice, to be back again. Therapeutic, almost - it felt like nothing had changed even though everything had, and for the better.

“Where are Darcy and Zarina?” Rose asked, nudging me and snapping me out of my nostalgia. She handed me a pack of extra long candles and motioned with her head to the candles on the table. It was pathetic. I was a mother of two, but was still too scared to use normal-length candles.

“The playroom, the last I saw, with Alanna and Izzy.” I told her, trying to shake off the overwhelming sense of oldness that I felt whenever I saw Alanna. Alanna was five years old now - five, huge years old. It felt like only five minutes had passed since we’d all been waiting outside Isolde’s hospital room, listening to her scream as she gave birth. How had five years changed everything so much? Putting aside the motherhood, I even had a new husband; and after two kids, I didn’t even think of him as new anymore. 

Hell, on paper, I was even a respectable businesswoman. That had never been a… Thing, five years ago; but then, five years ago, I hadn’t had shares in Conde Nast, or had been developing the media branch of the Zafar Inc. I’d barely learnt what an eyelash curler was back then - and now, I could apply mascara in a moving vehicle, with my son playing Power Rangers next to me.

“You really need to explain why you’re dressed like a tramp to me.” Rose sighed, eyeing me. Um, rude. “Like, seriously, what is even going on over there?”

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s not hospitable to insult your guests?”

“I wasn’t hosting the party where that was said.” Rose grinned cheekily, making me laugh. “So. Explanation?”

I looked down at myself. I hadn’t thought my outfit wasn’t presentable! Less on the fitted side that baggy, yes, but still appropriately festive. My jumper was oversized with a strip of black lace running down each sleeve, but my jeans were skinny and my heels weren’t ugly. I was just… Covered.

“How do you know I haven’t just gotten really fat?” I retorted. “I could actually be crying on the inside right now, because of your comment. I could be really offended. Ever think of that?”

“Nice try!” Rose snorted. “You enjoy being some kind of yoga dominatrix way too much in bed with that sexy husband of yours to ever really let yourself go.”

There was no point pretending she was wrong, so I let her see my smug smile. Hey. I had talents in the bedroom now.

That had definitely changed in the past five years.

“You really need to tell me what’s going on with you.” Rose continued, swatting my hands away from picking some strawberries from reindeer’s nose. Oh, yes. Rose had made a reindeer cake. “I know there’s something and I will keep you hostage until you tell me.”

“As flattering as your obsessive behaviour is,” I said in my snootiest voice. “My bank balance and ability to strike the fear of God in anyone who questions me, means that I could do something about it.” I grinned as I took one of the strawberries, ignoring Rose’s narrowed eyes. “You’re just a pop-star’s wife. If this were an episode of Gossip Girl, which our lives clearly are nowadays, I am definitely Lily van der Woodsen enough to win a rich-people’s smackdown.”

“I’m going to let that one go, just because I know it comes from your jealous place.” Rose told me, flicking me with the napkin she’d been holding. I laughed, dodging it. “You’re just mad that the world knows how hot I look in a swimsuit, after last month’s shoot. And I know something is up. I’ll get it out of you.”

“Good luck with that.” I grinned, stealing another strawberry and laughing as Rose looked like she was about to tackle me. “And who cares if you look better in a swimsuit - I’m a yoga dominatrix in bed according to you, remember?!”

Of course, Rose just laughed.

It didn’t take long for the rest of Rose’s guests to slowly disappear. Everyone wanted to look glamorous and rested for Christmas Day and after an hour or so, it was just us - the original group, but the extended edition.

We ended up sitting on the patio - or “porch”, as the new English-to-American dictionary in my head informed me - overlooking the sea, the wall-sized window of the lounge allowing us to watch as the children slept. Despite Niall’s initial worries that Hughie wouldn’t get along with Ed and Dany thanks to how close they were, the three of them were sprawled across one another on the sofa, asleep.

Dany’s arm was hanging off the sofa’s arm-rest, his fingers loosely linked with Ari’s hand through the bars of the cot Harry had brought down for Darcy and Ari to share.

Pathetic as it was, it made me feel… Happy, knowing how close Danyal and Zarina were. Everyone, including Aman, kept telling me that it didn’t mean it would last into adulthood, but… Well, how could it not? It had been some kind of miracle, having Danyal at all - and then having Zarina so healthy, especially considering the challenges she’d been put through before even being born. Dany had never become jealous of the attention Ari had gotten when she was born; if anything, even though he was barely older than he, he doted on her.

Even now, after being (fairly) happily married for four years - and having actually loved him for more than that, unlike the first time -, I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. My children adored one another, my husband and I didn’t hate each other and then there was the news I had to tell Rose…

I hadn’t expected this. I hadn’t expected this all to happen so quickly but now that it had, I didn’t regret it; which was strange, because before now, I’d been a barrel-full of regrets whenever things were moving too fast.

Apparently, my incessant need to be a control freak was subsiding. Ever so slightly.

I was - for lack of a better term - maturing. Supposedly. It was hard to believe when it was just Aman and I arguing over what channel to watch once Dany and Ari were in bed, but seeing my friends around me… We’d all matured.

Like Niall and Isolde. They were sitting beside Aman and I, Niall sitting on the floor with Isolde’s sock-clad legs resting over his shoulder. Although Izzy was just as fierce as ever, finally being with Niall meant she’d mellowed slightly - but only slightly. They balanced one another out, now. Isolde wasn’t as bitter about being thrust into the limelight, because she’d finally realised it wouldn’t affect Niall’s duties as a father. Even Aman had been ecstatic when they’d finally announced they were getting married - just after Isolde had found out she was pregnant with Hughie, at an intimate, fairy-tale like ceremony in Ireland with Alanna as a flower girl. We’d been invited - Niall had insisted there’d be no trouble with Zayn there - but it… It hadn’t felt right. As much of an amazing pair of friends Niall and Isolde had been to me, I couldn’t ruin the balance. Zayn had been there first.

Plus, you know, Aman still wanted to stick his head on a spike and attach it to the back of one of the cars.

What with Vivienne and Louis finally tying the lot - the boys truly were like dominos, once one got married and had children, the others followed -, Liam and Kara were the only ones who hadn’t gotten married. That wasn’t exactly surprising - even when Kara had found out she was pregnant with Charlie, she’d wondered if it was the right choice. Considering she was all too ready to give the rest of us much needed uncomfortable advice when necessary, it was nice to be able to pay her back a little - they hadn’t even been living with one another until Kara was at least four months pregnant, which was when Liam - and everyone else - put their foot down.

Still - seeing them snuggling together on the seat opposite made me smile. Liam had made some really sucky choices in his life, including forcing Kara into rehab and then forcing himself into her life, but by an amazing bout of luck it had worked out; even better, Kara wasn’t afraid to call Liam out on his crap. Of which there was plenty.

Harry and Rose didn’t count in my proud reminiscing. Harry and I had finally managed to get back on track after his… Behaviour following Rose’s accident and in a weird way, it had made us closer. It also made me tell him regularly that he was a giant loser who I’d happily rip apart if he ever hurt Rose, but I knew I didn’t have to say it. I’d seen Harry and Rose happen. And even though I still wasn’t sure if Harry had been the best choice out of him and Eddie, he had turned out to be the right one - he was here, with her and I knew better than anyone how Rose needed that.

“Thank you again, for inviting us to dinner tomorrow, Rose.” Liam sighed as he stretched. “I’m really looking forward to it. When you still hadn’t invited us at the beginning of the month, I was getting a bit worried.”

I snorted loudly at Kara’s mortified expression.

“I am so sorry about his atrocious manners.” Kara muttered, nudging Liam hard in the ribs. “I think what he means, Rose, is thank you for your wonderful hospitality.”

“Hospitality.” Rose smiled… Except that was not a happy smile. Oh, no, how much wine had she had? “You’d know all about that, too-”

“How about more cake?” I said loudly, ignoring Aman raise his eyebrows at my sudden enthusiasm. It wasn’t enough to stop everyone from noticing what Rose had said, but I was hoping it would lessen the impact. I started picking up some of the empty bottles and dishes on the table, mouthing Kara a sorry when I was opposite her. “Rose? You know I can’t be trusted in your kitchen alone. Come on, up you get.”

I glared at Harry as Rose silently strutted into the kitchen, looking annoyed. What the Hell was that? Had Rose not wanted Kara at the party? I understood Harry putting his foot down and saying she had to be - there was no way Liam could come and not Kara - but Rose was volatile. She didn’t like being forced to do things nowadays, even if she knew they were right.

One of the accident’s little side effects.

Rose was already sipping on a fresh glass of wine when I found her in the kitchen. Some of the cleaning team were already here, packing up dirty dishes from earlier in the night.

“What,” I said slowly. “Was that just now?”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Rose shrugged. “So it’s not like I said the whole of what I was going to say.”

“Everyone understood where you were going with it.” I sighed, handing the pile of dishes to one of the cleaners. I did not clean. Some things never changed. “I mean, a crack about-” I stepped closer and lowered my voice. Liam had worked hard to make Kara’s past disappear. “- her past career? Not cool, Rose.”

“What’s not cool is everyone, including you, acting like she’s one of us!” Rose protested, setting her wine glass down angrily. “Sure, Isolde is our friend and you’ve known Vivienne for a long time, but she’s practically a random stranger, sitting in my house - for what?”

“Rose.” Where had this come from? It was no secret that Rose wasn’t exactly warm with Kara, but she’d never been outright nasty, either. “We’ve known Kara for a long time-”

“Since when is how long you’ve known someone a good measurement?” Rose snapped. “You knew Zayn for less than a year when you guys shacked up. What difference does time make?”

… What?

I didn’t say anything for a few seconds - not just because I was stunned at the guerrilla tactics, but because something was wrong with what Rose had just said. Something that was setting off alarm bells.

No. No, I was imagining things - Rose was just angry and lashing out and so I was making excuses for her. I was being stupid.

Except…

I pushed it to the back of my mind, seeing how Rose’s eyes had widened at what she’d just said.

“I’m going to go back into the other room, before you say more stuff we both regret.” I said quietly. “And unless you want to drive your guests away before lunch tomorrow, I’d suggest you calm down before you go back in there, because nobody else is a fan of the bomb you just dropped.” I didn’t have to say the rest - that Rose was lucky Vivienne wasn’t there, because Vivienne would have lost it, or that Harry was aghast at her behaviour -, and so I left the kitchen, leaving Rose in there.

Something feels wrong! She shouldn’t - no. I wasn’t doing this. I wasn’t doubting her.

Rose came back out onto the deck a few minutes later, all smiles and apologising about her outburst - she claimed it was a stress-related event thanks to problems with the turkey. She even apologised to Kara; she “explained” how she meant Kara had been to so many parties and things, Rose had been expressing how flattered she was - but that, after I’d explained how it had come across, she was sorry if she’d been misunderstood.

It was a lame excuse. A ridiculously lame excuse. But everyone, including Kara, pretended to accept it because that made things less uncomfortable.

Rose and I didn’t talk for the rest of the night.

. . .

Christmas morning was like something out of Miracle on 54th Street. 

Harry and Rose had bought presents for Danyal and Zarina and left them under the tree, and of course we’d bought gifts for everyone before arriving. We’d stayed over - like we’d planned to, despite Aman being disgruntled at the thought of relying on anyone, regardless of how well he and Harry got along -, but the weird feeling at the back of my head was still there. Like I was deliberately missing something, like I was ignoring something huge.

I carried on ignoring it.

“Those PJs are hideous. Explain.” Rose laughed, handing me a mug of fresh coffee. Aman looked at me, confused, as I subtly put it beside me and it wasn’t hard to read his mind; she doesn’t know? 

“Hey, I dressed for comfort.” I protested, rather put out that nobody else loved my pyjamas - Aman’s Harvard sweatshirt and a pair of my comfiest grey joggers. “And are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help for later? Please say yes. Otherwise I’m stuck babysitting these two idiots.”

Aman and Harry snickered as they high-fived over my head.

“She’s just jealous of our love.” Harry told Aman happily.

“Unless you tell me what you’re hiding from me, it’s your punishment.” She shrugged evilly. I smiled - I wasn’t over what she’d said yesterday -, though promising myself I’d tell her tonight. I had to. One bitchy comment didn’t make her any less… Rose. “And anyway, I’ve told the others too, that everyone has to starve until it’s time to eat. Christmas dinner has come out fabulous.”

We all stopped as Dany and Ed started to wave their arms excitedly at their newest present - ones, I realised instantly, Harry and Aman had chosen for them. Matching water pistols, in loud colours. The boys were already making shooting noises and the toy wasn’t even out of its packaging yet.

Darcy and Ari watched them from where they sat in their fathers’ laps, snuggling close under the same blanket. 

I smiled as Danyal tripped over Ed’s legs, to squirt Ari in the face with water. Ari hated water in her face - she screamed blue murder whenever I washed her hair. Considering I was the most hated person on the planet when I washed her face, her outraged giggle in response to the water pistol was almost offensive.

Almost.

Darcy, on the other hand, ripped the pistol out of Ed’s hands and attacked his face with it.

Ah, the girls. 

Ari giggled loudly at Ed’s outraged face, watching carefully as Dany yanked Ed’s T-shirt to his face and told him “wipe it”. So mature, just at three.

“What’re you thinking?” Aman asked me quietly, unnoticed as Rose and Harry discussed something between themselves over our heads. 

“Nothing.” I smiled, attacking Ari’s cheek with kisses and laughing loudly as she pulled my face down and attempted to do the same thing back. It wasn’t quite perfect, but it was definitely good enough for me - her skin was always so soft, but her strength always surprised me. “I’m just… I’m just glad that we have such a big family.”

. . .

The rest of the day passed in a lazy, festive blur.

I, as tradition dictated, was amazed at the seamlessness of Rose’s efficiency. There was officially no room for my kitchen ineptitude and even though that meant I spent the day becoming increasingly freaked out at how Rose and I had given birth to boys who were essentially younger, more mischievous versions of their fathers, I did feel kind of guilty that I wasn’t useful at all.

Not guilty enough to actually help bark out orders at the catering staff, like Rose was, but enough to prove I had a conscience.

I was in charge, with Harry, of getting the children ready - that was an experience. Harry had lovingly tied Darcy’s long brown hair into a little bun and had spent the entire time grinning at her, as she stepped into her sparkly red dress.

Ari, on the other hand, had kicked and screamed at the prospect of wearing anything remotely feminine. She hated dresses. I was sure she partially thought she was a boy like her brother - Dany was in black trousers and a white shirt and Ed was even wearing a little tie -, but Aman put it down to Ari “being confident in her femininity”. 

All that meant to me, was that Ari only ended up wearing the Dolce & Gabbana printed dress Harry had bought her for Christmas because Darcy pointed out that hers was still more sparkly and Harry promised Ari she could wear one of Ed’s hats with the dress.

Ari currently was obsessed with hats. She wore her father’s Yankees cap to bed.

Surely Dany should have been the more difficult one? But no. Dany was laid-back when it came to clothes and getting dressed. His only demands were Batman underwear and vests that weren’t itchy - he had sensitive skin -, but other than that… He didn’t care what he was wearing. But my little girl? No. No, the only dress she’d ever willingly bought in the two years she’d spent on this planet, was a dress that was covered in comic strips.

Was I meant to be proud or embarrassed at how much she was like me?

Harry did Ari’s hair too, which was a miracle in itself. He managed to brush it through and pull it into a neat pony tail - complete with a red rose clip on the side. If I’d have tried that, Zarina probably would have bitten me.

“You know Rose is going to have something to say about that outfit?” Harry grinned, seeing what I was wearing when I finally got dressed.

I was wearing a beige cashmere jumper that did not at all cling, the same black skinny jeans from the day before and a pair of beige loafers, a long, thick black cardigan thrown on top.

“This isn’t trampy!” I protested, allowing Harry to stand behind me and latch my necklace for me. “It’s elegant! And I’m wearing jewellery, so it’s still festive, too.”

“This is to do with what you’re hiding, isn’t it?” Harry asked - and I laughed because really, when was Harry ever that observant? “Your hair looks nice.”

I’d left it out and done nothing to it, including brushing, but just told him thanks.

Everything was lovely. Louis and Vivienne briefly Skyped from Mexico to wish everyone a merry Christmas and Zayn text the others. Isolde’s cravings for cinnamon were quenched with Rose’s special “mulled apple juice”.

Everything was lovely, right up until when it wasn’t.

“Are you sure you don't need a hand with the burning pud?” Kara asked Rose, as we all waited around for dessert. “Trust me, I can handle a blowtorch. Occupational hazard.” She joked.

She wasn’t being malicious, or goading Rose. Kara was just… Like that. She hit things over the head and dealt with them, she joked her way out of awkward situations. We’d spent enough time talking for me to know that Kara found it difficult to not just punch someone as means of effective communication. This was her, trying.

But it backfired. Spectacularly.

Everyone laughed, except Rose. Even Aman had snorted into his glass and he made a conceited effort to not acknowledge Kara’s past, most likely because his affinity with prostitutes (that sounded so wrong) wasn’t something he planned on making public knowledge.

“Occupational hazard?” Rose repeated, looking… Furious. The alarm bells in my head got louder. “Considering you’re so proud of your career, why don’t you just come out and say the rest of the men here would make good clients? That’s what you’re thinking, right? I mean, when you talk about occupational hazards, you fail to mention the genital herpes or whatever else you’ve got, do you?” Rose laughed once, darkly. I… We were all too shocked to move. “Then again, I suppose pretending being a slut is an actual profession helps you to pretend you’re not really just some washed-up crack whore.”

Everyone stopped. Everyone, except me - because at the crack whore part, I had to shut my eyes and pretend I wasn’t seeing the smug expression on Rose’s face, right before she calmly walked out.

What - what - had possessed Rose to just… To… Lash out like that? What had she been thinking?!

I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

“Is that some kind of fucking joke?” Liam said angrily, staring around the table. I looked at Harry, but he was staring after Rose, his expression horrified. “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on?”

“She’s probably just stressing out over dinner.” Kara said quietly - and that somehow made everything worse, that she, out of everyone, was the one jumping to Rose’s defence. “I should have kept my mouth shut, really. I knew she was upset yesterday and I pushed the dark humour-”

“This isn’t your fault!” Liam snapped - before looking at me. “She’s your best friend! Want to tell us what’s going on, or what?”

“Hey, it’s not Soph’s fault!” Kara told him, looking annoyed. Oh, great. Not only was Rose calling people crack-whores under her own roof, but apparently now I was inadvertently causing a domestic. “I’m Soph’s friend and she’s never-”

“We thought Rose was your friend too, but she’s turned out to be a grade-A bitch-”

“Alright!” Harry shouted loudly. “That’s my wife you’re talking about, mate, do you want to calm down?”

And just like that, everyone was arguing.

This was insane. Insane. Rose didn’t - Rose didn’t like confrontation! She may have developed more of a spine since the accident, but she didn’t like causing trouble and she certainly did not enjoy her parties being given a bad reputation. This made no sense. This made no sense, how had I missed her freaking out like this?!

You didn’t. You knew something was wrong, but you ignored it.

This was my fault.

“Everyone, just calm down-” Niall was saying patiently, but it wasn’t working. “Look, why don’t we let Harry talk to Rose, while we cool off in here and see what’s happening next-”

“I think I should go.” Kara said firmly. “That’s what should happen next. I was the one who started it, I don’t want to ruin what’s otherwise been a lovely Christmas-”

“We’re not going until she apologises!” Liam spluttered, now in full mouthing-off mode. Wonderful. Just wonderful. “Soph, are you going to sort this out or what?”

“That has to be the second or third time you’ve said that.” Aman said quietly, looking up at Liam with an annoyed expression. I poked his leg under the table. No. No. Now was not the time for his overprotectiveness to rise up; particularly when, ever since the… Incident when I was pregnant with Ari, he’d had a much lower tolerance for any of One Direction. “Has it ever occurred to you that it’s not Soph who’s responsible for Rose’s actions?”

“Well then, do you want to tell me who is?!” Liam was still shouting, but he seemed a bit… Calmer, at seeing Aman’s expression. That wasn’t necessarily a good thing. The effect of Aman’s silent but scary temper was not something I needed to worry about right now.

Aman pretended to think, pointedly ignoring my incessant poking. Rude.

“Rose, maybe?”

“Liam, will you please just shut up and calm down?” Kara groaned loudly, shoving him away from where he was towering over the table. What was going on with Rose? What was so bad, that she couldn’t just tell someone? Me? “Manny, Soph, I’m sorry, none of this is your fault - none of this is anyone’s fault! Rose has the right to not want an ex-hooker in her home and honestly, if you guys think I haven’t heard stuff like this before, you’re underestimating how good I was at my job.”

“How are you still cracking jokes right now?” I was trying not to smile. How could Rose not like Kara? This was exactly why everyone else did! Kara was covering for Rose’s almost unforgivable blunder, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Please don’t leave. Let me talk to Rose and find out what’s really going on.” I squeezed Kara’s hand. She’d been such a good friend to me, for ever since I’d known her…

And just like that, I was angry. How could Rose do this? How dare she? She’d never been jealous or possessive before and if this truly was about me accepting Kara as a friend like she’d said, then she was insane. Kara had been there for me since the beginning. She hadn’t expected me to hate her because of my faith or whatever else; damn it, she’d been there for me on my wedding day when Rose hadn’t! On the day of my reception, Kara had kept me calm in a way nobody else could have - not even Rose, who had been too busy playing house.

That’s unfair. You forgave her back then, you can’t take it back now.

Yeah - not unless I’d never forgiven her in the first place.

How much did Rose think she could get away with? After the accident, I’d kept justifying her erratic behaviour as her way of coping after the accident, but how could I keep saying it was okay? This was not okay!

“Kara, sweetheart, I’m so sorry about what Rose said. You know we don’t see you like that, you’re just as much family as anyone else here is.” Harry sighed, glancing at me with false smile; play along. “Probably more than this one, since she’s so posh these days.”

“Whatever.” Kara muttered, shooting me a grin. “These peasants just don’t know how to deal with upper classes, huh, Soph?”

I grinned, feeling sick. What the Hell had Rose been playing at, lashing out at Kara like that?

“I’m just going to go and check on Rose, see what’s really going on.” I told everyone as I got up, squeezing Aman’s shoulder on my way. He understood what that meant - keep it together here. Sometimes, this whole soulmate thing wasn’t such a giant inconvenience. “And Liam - just pour yourself another drink and calm down, alright?”

“Yeah.” Liam muttered, letting Niall firmly push him back into his chair. Thankfully, he shot Aman an apologetic look. “Sorry, everyone.”

“You can’t be perfect all the time.” Aman joked, now apparently silently communicating with Niall.

“Yeah.” Niall added. “Makes the rest of us look bad.”

That was the last thing I heard before going into the kitchen - and finding Rose calmly looking out of the window, drinking a glass of wine.

I shut the door behind me.

“What the fuck,” I asked slowly. “Was that? Where did that even come from?!”

“I’m sick of her acting like being a whore is such an accomplishment.” Rose shrugged. She could pretend to be calm all she wanted - I knew her too well. I could see she was still livid. What kind of a best friend would I be if I didn’t? “I would have thought you would have backed me up and understood that, but apparently not.” I stared, speechless, as Rose looked at me disapprovingly. “I heard you out there, with Manny and Harry, covering for me. I don’t need you three to cover for me.”

“When you drop crap like that, you do.” I laughed, though not at all because I found this funny. “You invited her here, Rose! And even if you didn’t really want to, since when were you so… It’s the holiday season. You love the holiday season.”

“Oh, of course I do!” Rose suddenly shouted, making me jump as she finally turned to face me. “Of course I love the festive season! I hold Christmas every year and play happy families and you know what? You’re right, I do love that part. But what I don’t love is everyone pretending everything is just dandy! Everyone is pretending what she is doesn’t matter, that how she met Liam doesn’t matter, but when I was deciding between guys - and not giving them hand-jobs in alleyways during it all -, I was the bad guy! Somehow, when Liam was being a shitty boyfriend, I was still the whore - and she is, and what, she gets nothing?”

We didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Rose was breathing heavily and staring at me with wide eyes, like she’d said something wrong - but she hadn’t - except she had, because something felt wrong, that feeling at the back of my mind was back -

Oh, Soph, you idiot.

“… You remember.” I whispered, feeling my heart begin to thrum in my throat. I tried to swallow down the feeling - to calm down. “You… You remember.”

Yesterday. Yesterday, when she’d mentioned Zayn - it had seemed wrong because it was wrong. That was before the accident. Rose didn’t remember anything between leaving Australia and the night of the accident, when Harry had told her they were together, when he’d lied; but I’d… I’d thought it was fine. I’d thought what she’d said about Zayn was fine, because I was so used to Rose’s voice talking about my first marriage that I’d forgotten she wasn’t the same Rose anymore. 

“No.” Rose muttered… But her voice was shaking. Oh, my God, she remembers. “No, no, I don’t-”

“Yes, you do!” I argued. It made sense now. It made sense! I’d gotten so used to lying to Rose about her past, because I’d had to, that hearing the truth after so long had been like… Like taking a break and only a small part of my brain had noticed. “Yes, you do! Rose, this is - this is huge! How long have you remembered?” Why was this being hidden? This was amazing news! We’d all thought it would never happen, this was great… Except it wasn’t, it wasn’t, because Rose looked… Guilty. Or at least like she was trying to hide that she felt guilty. “Oh my God, Rose, how long have you remembered?” I asked again, but this time, differently. I wasn’t excited this time.

“You don’t get to judge me.” Rose finally muttered, stabbing her finger in my direction. “You… You don’t get to judge me!”

“How long, Rose?!”

“I didn't go away because I had some kind of depressed break down, okay!” Rose suddenly shouted. Oh my God. Oh my God, she’d remembered and I hadn’t even noticed. “I know you love to think of me as this depressed loser who you need to constantly save, but-”

“What? Are you insane?”

“- I remembered! I was playing with Darcy and she was crying because Harry wasn’t around, like always-”

“She’s a child, Rose!” I snapped, seeing where this was going. Rose had been so excited to have a girl, so excited - because she saw her as a substitute, as the universe’s way of compensating her for a mother and sister that didn’t care. I’d warned her, I’d told her she couldn’t think about it like that - Darcy was a person! If we hadn’t learnt that everyone was a real person that we couldn’t just know inside out, what the Hell had we learnt after all of this time? “You do understand the concept of a child, don’t you? She’s innocent!”

“She made me remember!” Rose suddenly screamed, making me jump back. “Do you not get that? That little bitch-”

“Rose!”

“- she made me remember! And you know what? I was better off forgetting!” Rose hissed. I’d… I wanted to believe it was the drink, that all of the wine had gotten to her head, but I knew that wasn’t true. This was years’ worth of venom bubbling to the surface, venom I thought she’d trusted me enough to share in the beginning. But she hadn’t. She’d lied.

Like she was lying now.

“Two years. Two years.” I said, finally realising the maths. When she’d went away. When we’d all thought she’d lost hope, when I’d thought she was mourning. 

This was huge. Huge. And I had so many questions. Did she remember everything? Had it come all at once, or was she still piecing things together? Why had she hid it, when had she decided to? 

How could she have?

“Does Harry know?” I demanded. Harry. Harry. Oh, God. He’d… He thought he’d cheated her somehow, cheated himself into having a happiness he didn’t deserve. After Eddie had died - or gone away to -, he’d taken that all on himself, blaming Rose’s rejection of Eddie on himself. He’d been struggling with that ever since, he still was - but Rose knew? “He - he’s taken on your guilt about Eddie! He blames himself!”

“And there it is.” Rose muttered cruelly, staring at me up and down. “Perfect little Soph, upset because she’s losing control of micro-managing my life.”

No. No. I knew exactly what she was talking about and she did not get to say that to me.

“I did what I had to, as your friend.” I told her seriously. No. No. There was absolutely no way in Hell that she was putting that on me, acting as if I did what I did for kicks. “I did what I did because the doctors told me you were at risk and because I had to deal with damage control, when Harry and Ryan and everyone else panicked-”

“Like that’s the only control you have over my life!” Rose snorted. “What about my marriage, hmm? What about the fact that ever since before Harry and I got together, you’ve always been in the middle, you’re always acting mediator when nobody even wants you there?”

I couldn’t help it. As much as I told myself I’d changed, that I was more mature and mellow, that was a load of crap. I was not taking anyone’s crap ever again - I’d made that promise to myself a long time ago.

And Rose did not get a pass card just because she was feeling sassy.

“Well according to you, I’ve always been there - so it’s not hard to imagine your marriage falling apart without me being there to pick up the pieces of your dramas!” I snapped back instantly, not even having to think about it.

I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to have this conversation, this argument, with Rose. There were too many things for us to be bitter about.

But it felt really good to just say it. 

“This is exactly what I mean.” Rose laughed - and it wasn’t scary to hear anymore, it was pissing me off. “Perfect little Soph, with her perfect little life, looking down on everyone else. You act like such an angel-”

“No need to act like an angel, when we know I’m a queen.” It was meant to be a joke - to calm things down, because logic told me we needed to - but it came out more serious than I intended. Not that, at this point, I cared as much as I could have. “Just because you are too wrapped up in pretending to be someone else, doesn’t mean everyone else is as screwed up!”

“I’m not pretending!” Rose gasped. Seriously? Seriously? “I am being the person I am, the person I was meant to be - before everyone screwed me over and took advantage of me trying to be everyone’s friend!”

“Such a victim, all of the time!” I yelled. “Do you ever realise how self-involved you are? How pathetic it is? Your problems revolve around which boy to choose - and you act like you’re hard done by, when you’re the one who put yourself in that situation!” I groaned. This was ridiculous. This was just insanely ridiculous and not because of this conversation. “You can’t run from your feelings, Rose! You can’t pretend to not feel guilty! You - you-” I had to take a second, to calm myself down. I had to say this. I had to say this properly, for his sake. “- you’ve been lying, for two years about having no memory. Eddie wasn’t dead then. He was ill, but not dead and he deserved to at least know you chose to stay with Harry! You made him give up!”

“Don’t you dare-” My mouth fell open as Rose shoved me angrily. She was not serious. “Blame me for his death. That’s on you. You were so eager to focus on my problems and make yourself look like the golden girl in comparison, that you didn’t know how to be a good friend.”

In fairness, the moment Rose had touched me, I’d began to have an out-of-body experience. I wasn’t in control anymore - not the so-called mature, mellow Soph who balanced out the power-hungry rage monster that had been inside me since God knows when. I wasn’t in control anymore.

I couldn’t take responsibility for what I did next.

Without even thinking about it, I was standing to my full height, glaring up at Rose with a hatred I’d never expected to feel towards her. I was fuming. She hadn’t just lied to me - this wasn’t, despite what she wanted to think, about my bruised ego. She’d lied to everyone - to everyone, to all of the people who’d weaved their lives into the giant lie that had come from us trying to protect her.

How dare she?

“I’m not scared of you.” Rose told me quietly, glaring down at me.

I stepped closer.

“Maybe you should be.” I muttered. “You are not the person I thought you were. My friend isn’t here anymore.”

Rose shrugged. It didn’t even bother her. It didn’t even bother her.

“Whether you think I’m a sucky person or not is your problem, but you owe it to me to keep your mouth shut.” Rose told me, making me gawp at her. Really? I owed her something? She was a lying, conniving bitch who had been manipulating us all for the past two years - and that was a long time to maintain a lie this huge - and I owed her something?

It wasn’t just the anger. I didn’t honestly believe I was just angry. I was hurt, too - betrayed. She’d never told me. She’d never told me about her memories coming back, or even how she felt about me interfering in her life. She hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me the truth when I’d only ever bore my soul to her and that betrayal hurt me so much right now, I wanted to lash out and hurt her - because it was easier to deal with whatever nasty things I’d said, rather than accept that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust her again.

“You’re lying. To your friends - forget that, to your husband.” I shook my head. “Harry’s my friend, too. I’m not going to lie to him out of a sick sense of loyalty.”

“Yes, you are!” Rose shouted again, pulling me by the arm before I could leave. I swatted her off. I could hear voices outside the door - clearly, they’d heard shouting and Harry was worried. Hearing the voices too, Rose began to hiss. “Yes, you are. I kept your secret when you were pregnant and you didn’t want Zayn to know, at the risk of my relationship with Harry. I didn’t tell anyone you fell in love with Aman when you were still married to someone else, I have kept your secrets for years when I could have screwed you over the entire time - so you owe me.”

Just like that, something… Left. Something flew right out of me, something that suddenly made it so much easier for me to no longer care.

It’s like flipping a light switch. Just like before.

“So you’re not asking me as a friend.” I nodded, finally understanding. “You’re blackmailing me, as a person. As someone in your way.”

Rose shrugged, her arms folded over her chest.

Wow. Wow, I really hadn’t seen this coming.

“Fine. I’ll cover for you. If I’m asked, I won’t lie, but I’ll cover for you.” I promised, feeling… nothing. Empty. Rose wasn’t my best friend any more - and if I was being honest, she hadn’t been for a long time.

“Good.” Rose said primly, making me roll my eyes as I went to turn away. “And get out of my life, while you’re at it.”

I thought about that for a grand total of, ooh, a second?

“No.” I laughed. “No way in Hell. Just because you’re too weak to admit today, or even tomorrow or the day after that, you need me. You called your three year old girl a bitch today, Rose.” I shook my head. God. God, how had she gotten so twisted? And coming from me, that was saying something. “Just because you’ve forgotten to be a good friend, doesn’t mean I have. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Harry is my husband and Darcy is my daughter!”

“Darcy may be your daughter, but Harry was my friend long before you decided to mess him around!” I snapped. “I’m already lying to him for you, that’s all you’re getting from me.”

Harry had just stepped in, when Rose said it.

“God, I hate you, Soph.”

Only Harry saw how I closed my eyes. In defeat. Because I knew, better than anyone, exactly what she was like - and when she meant it.

I had been so wrong about us.

“What the Hell happened?” Harry asked, looking between us with wide eyes.

“It was my fault. Rose was angry about me not telling her what was going on.” I forced a smile, tried not to notice the lie - lie number one, the beginning of the end of our friendship; and no, that wasn’t just dramatics. Unless Rose told Harry that she had her memories back, our friendship was just going to keep breaking down; and it didn’t look like she was going to be telling the truth anytime soon. “She doesn’t approve of the news.”

“What news?” Harry looked more confused than ever.

I turned to Rose, hoping that, even if she wasn’t the person I knew any more, the next bit stung.

“That I’m pregnant again.” I said, the news sounding… Boring now. Who even cared? “I wanted to tell my best friend, but apparently it didn't quite work that way.”

Rose barely flinched.

“Like I just told her,” Rose said to Harry coolly, staring down her nose at me. Wow, she really wanted to stop doing that before I backhanded her. “She should stop popping them out so quickly. Someone might think she was doing it for the wrong reasons - you know how people have babies just to trap their husbands.”

Ouch. That one hurt.

Was this what I was in for? Jabs about my past from her, constant reminders I was keeping the secret of a clear sociopath?

“Sorry, Harry.” I forced a smile, told myself to play along. I wasn’t going to freak out in front of her. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. “I think I should go.”

“But-” Harry stopped as he hugged me tightly. “Ignore her, Soph, this is great news. You don’t have to go-”

“Trust me, Harry.” I smiled genuinely this time. He deserved more than this - from me and Rose. “I do.”

It was just then that we heard Darcy calling for her mum.

“For God’s sake, Harry, go and deal with her.” Rose snapped, rubbing her temples.

“I’ll go.” I said, before either one of them could say anything. God. God, I wanted to hit her. I wanted to hit her, but I wanted to shake her at the same time and beg her to be the person I’d always thought she was. “And… Listen, I was thinking - send Darcy over for a sleepover sometime soon. Ari and Darcy don’t see one another enough.”

Darcy shouldn’t have to deal with a mother like that.

Maybe Rose was right. Maybe I was an interfering bitch who couldn’t keep her nose to herself - but that was exactly what had gotten Rose happily married to the guy of her dreams. I’d kept my end of the bargain, I’d become the journalist and introduced her to One Direction. Apparently, that was all she’d wanted.

But I’d helped her get her ending. So whether she liked it or not, I was going to make sure Darcy had a chance at that, at least. I knew Rose and her family, I could see the signs - Rose was turning into her mother.

As I hugged Harry goodbye at the doorway, ignoring Kara’s worried expression, I promised to keep an eye on Darcy. For my friend’s sake.

The one I didn’t have any more. 

[liliah39]

Merry Christmas, Darling (Brian May x Reader Oneshot)

Warnings: Some smut, nothing serious though. Mainly just loads of fluff! 

A/N:This is part of @dtfrogertaylor ‘s Thank God It’s Christmas event for @hannafuckingsucks ! I’ve loved getting to know you, darling, and I hope you enjoy! Oh! And Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 2.8K+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 25, 1978:

You awoke to the phone at the side of your bed ringing; earning a groan from you as you rolled over, blindly feeling around the nightstand until you picked it up and placed it to your ear.

“Hello?” You mumbled.

“Happy Christmas, Sweetheart.” Brian said as he smiled into the phone, calling you from his bed as well. You could instantly tell it was him, his soothing voice being your main consolation over the last ten years of your life. Brian was your best friend, and there was nothing you’d ever do to change that.

“Brian, it’s nine in the morning. Can’t I sleep in?” You laughed with a yawn.

“Not when I want to be the first one to wish you a Happy Christmas.”

You jokingly groaned in disapproval, earning a laugh from him on the other end. “Well, Happy Christmas to you too, Bri.”

“You going later, Love?”

“To Freddie’s? Of course. Where else would I be?”

“With your family, perhaps?”

“Nah, it’d be hard for me to get home this time of year. Especially when they live across the country, and we just flew into London a couple of days ago. It’s hard work being best friends with the guitarist of Queen, you know.”

The boys had just finished the press tour to their new album News of the World, which of course you had joined them on. You didn’t actually do much of a job, but Brian labeled you his assistant just so you’d get paid to travel the world with them.

“Oh, jeez, Y/N, I’m so sorry. You know you don’t have to come with us every time, Love. I wouldn’t have minded if you left the press tour early to make it home to your family for the holidays. God, I feel awful.”

“It’s alright, Bri.”

“No it’s not, Love. Everyone else’s family is right around where we all live in London. I forget sometimes that you grew up across the country, since I met you here back in Uni all those years ago.”

“It’s okay, really. There’s no place I would rather of been. Really. I wanted to be with you.”

Your words made Brian blush as he fantasized of you having feelings for him as well. “Well I don’t want you to be left alone on Christmas morning. I’m about to get up and ready to go to my Mum and Dad’s house, I can swing by and pick you up if you’d like?”

“Oh, that’s alright. I’m really just looking to get some rest until dinner and the party at Freddie’s later. Even though it’s a more intimate party than he usually throws, you know it’s still going to go late in the morning, and I’m still awfully jet lagged, so I’m fine Bri. Really.”

“Can I at least pick you up to go to Fred’s later?”

“ ‘Course.”

“Alright, Love. See you later then.”

~~~~~~~

Just as you finished getting dressed into your sleek red Christmas gown after curling your hair and putting half of it up, and doing makeup to match your festive attire, you heard the doorbell ring.

“One minute!” You yelled, quickly slipping on your gold heels and putting your shawl around your shoulders as you ran to the for.

“Hi Bri!”

“M-my God, Y/N,” he said, taking your hand and spinning you around as he walked in the door. “You look absolutely breathtakingly stunning.”

“Well I think I could say the same thing to you. You clean up very nicely.” You smiled as you pulled at his suit. You’d liked him for months, but couldn’t get yourself to admit it to him. You were sure he didn’t feel the same way, sure that admitting your feelings would ruin your friendship, so instead you opted to keep to yourself.

“We’re running a little late, Love, so are you ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You smiled, grabbing the large bag of presents by the door.

“Oh I’ll take that, really Love. Too much work for someone in such a gorgeous dress.” He winked, taking the bag from your arms as he lead you out the door.

~~~~~~~~~

Freddie’s house was decorated to the nines. You and Brian had only made it in the foyer, yet you had already counted twelve Christmas trees. A server took yours and Brian’s presents and placed them under the largest tree at the center of the house where the presents were being organized by name for you all to go and find after dinner.

“Y/N! Darling!” Freddie exclaimed as he walked in from another room, scooping you up and spinning you around. “You look absolutely stunning!”

“I could say the same to you!” he had on an all red, metallic suit with gold beading concentrated on the shoulders that faded down the arms.

“And Brian!” He exclaimed, bringing his band mate in for a hug. “Don’t the two of you just make the perfect couple!”

“But we’re not-“ you started, only to be cut off.

“Oh I know, Darling. I’m just saying you LOOK like the perfect couple.” He winked at Brian as he walked away, Brian fuming with embarrassment and anger. The other three knew of his feelings for you, and were getting antsy that neither of you had admitted it to the other yet.

After everyone had arrived, you all sat down at the large dining table, where you were seated next to Brian, and began chatting about your lives.

“And what about you, Y/N? Anyone special in your life?” Roger asked.

“Oh no. No time for that, really. I think you four keep me busy enough.” You laughed.

“Fair enough. What about you, Brian?”

“Oh, uh, I- um. No. Nobody special.”

“You don’t sound too sure about that, mate.” John smirked.

“You sure you’re not into someone you’re currently very close to...physically?” Freddie teased.

“Shut your mouths, all of you.” He said, rolling his eyes as his three bandmates snickered across the table from the two of you.

“What was that all about?” you asked Brian.

“Oh nothing. Nothing at all.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, the bar in the room with all of the presents was opened as a DJ in the back of the room played the perfect blend of Christmas music and trendy music from the radio. You and the boys laughed as you sat and drank together on the couch, and after a while you and Deaky got up to go dance.

With both of you entirely tired out, John decided to go back to his drink with the boys, yet you were empty, so decided to go to the bar to find something else, telling him you’d catch up with them in a moment.

As soon as John sat down, Brian was already prying him for information.

“So? Did she say anything about me?”

“Nope.”

“John, you were dancing with her for like fifteen minutes. She must have said something.”

“No really, mate. We just talked about my baby, the upcoming tour, you know, stuff friends talk about.”

Brian sighed in defeat.

“Bri, if you’re this helpless, I’m sorry, but it’s time to grow a pair, suck it up, and ask her out.” Roger teased.

“I know I know, I just… I don’t want to ruin everything and lose her.”

“You won’t.” Roger said.

“Yeah, it’s obvious she likes you too.” John added.

“Really?”

“Really.” The three said in unison.

“What’d you get her?” Freddie asked.

“A heart shaped diamond encrusted ruby necklace. Got it here in my suit,” he said, pressing his hand to the inside pocket of his suit coat. “Didn’t want to risk someone stealing it. And besides, I want to give it to her myself.”

The other three nodded understandingly. “You should tell her how you feel when you give it to her. You should do it before we all get into gifts too.” Freddie said.

“But Fred, that only gives me fifteen minutes. You said we were doing gifts at 10:00!”

“Exactly, Darling. You need a little nudge to get you to admit your feelings. This is your nudge.”

As Brian noticed you happily walked back over to the four of them, he shushed the other three ad you retook your spot next to Brian.

“Why are we all just not speaking to eachother?” You laughed.

“Oh no reason.” Roger blurted out, the four of them looking between eachother, eventually staring at Brian as if to tell him something through their eyes, which left you completely confused.

“Okay then?”

“Hey, Y/N?” Brian nervously stated. “I uh, I got you something special and wanted to give it to you myself, uh alone if you don’t mind?”

“Oh that’d be wonderful.” You smiled, taking his hand as you stood up.  

“Brian, wait!” Freddie said as he grabbed his friends shoulder and whispered in his ear: “Go to the formal living area at the back of the house. There’s a beautiful tree there, and the fireplace is lit, and no one will be there.”

Brian nodded understandably as he lead you away from the party.

“What was that about?”

“Oh nothing. Just telling me where to go is all.”

As the two of you stepped into the all red decorated room, Brian locked the door behind the two of you as you marveled at the beauty of the room.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous. Freddie really knows how to decorate, doesn't he?” You said as you sat on the couch that was angled toward the Christmas tree with the fireplace to your left.

“Uh, yeah.” Brian said pacing.

“Brian, come sit down.” You said, patting the couch next to you. “Whatever you got me I know I’ll love.”

He sat next to you as he let out a huge breath of air.

“What’s up with you? I’ve never seen you so nervous?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” he reassured. He took out the small box from his coat, placing it in your hands. “Now, I actually helped design this, so I’m really hoping you like it.” He smiled as his hand rested on yours.

You removed the wrapping paper to find a gorgeous, large, heart shaped ruby and diamond necklace. You gasped in shock, tears flooding to your eyes.

“What’s wrong? Do you like it?” He said, worried.

“Oh I love it! Thank you!” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Then why are you crying?” He said as he pulled you into a tight embrace.

“Because no one has ever done something this nice for me in my entire life.” You said, looking at him as he brushed away a tear. “Can you put it on me?”

“Of course, Love.” He smiled as you turned away from him so he could put it on you. “There’s one more thing.”

“Not something else! This is already too much!” You said, turning back to him as he finished putting your necklace on. He took your hands in his, as he stared into your eyes.

“No, this is just something I’ve gotta get off my chest. I, uh, I don’t really know how to tell you this. I mean, you’re my best friend, you know that. And I can’t imagine my life without you. That’s why I’m so nervous right now. But for the last couple of years now I’ve been absolutely crazy about you. I’m in love with you, Y/N, and I haven’t been able to tell you until now.” His hands were shaking from how nervous he was.

“You are?” you smiled.

“Oh god, I’m sorry I even said anything.” He said, pulling his hands away from yours and he turned to look at the fire.

“No, no, Brian, Brian. Look at me,” you said, grabbing his face in your hands. “Hey, open your eyes and look at me.” You laughed as he blinked them open, and you noticed the tears welling in the bottom of them. “I’m in love with you too.” You whispered behind your tears of happiness.

“You are?” he smiled.

“Yeah. I have been for a while now too. Just couldn’t get myself to say anything.” You admitted.

“Really?”

“Really. I’m in love with you, Brian Harold May.”

“God, am I in love with you too.” He smiled as he pressed his lips to yours, the kiss immediately passionate. Your lips molded together perfectly as his hands roamed your body, yours toying with his hair.

After awhile he layed you down on the sofa as he hovered over you, trailing kisses from your mouth down your neck as his hand slipped in your dress as it squeezed your breast, fingers toying with your nipple. You let out a moan, reconnecting your lips with his as he sat you up to try to unzip your dress, yet after a minute or two of his hands roaming your body, he groaned in frustration.

“Why can’t I figure out how to take this fucking dress off?”

You laughed at his annoyance.

“It’s not funny!”

“It’s kinda funny.” You smiled, tapping his nose.

“Well? Why can’t I?”

“Because there’s no zipper, silly. It laces from the inside. It’ll take me at least twenty minutes to get off, and once it’s off, there’s no way I’m putting it back on tonight, so this might have to wait a couple hours.” You laughed.

“Fine,” he groaned in annoyance, “but if you’re making me wait for something I’ve been waiting for over the last ten years, you’ve at least got to come home with me tonight.”

“Well I thought you’d never ask.” You smirked, hooking your finger around his tie as you pulled him in for a chaste kiss on your lips. “And hey, don’t think I haven’t been waiting for this for a while either.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You and Brian quickly composed yourselves, rejoining the party hand in hand, to which the boys sprung up from their seats in applause.

“Finally!” Roger exclaimed.

“Told you, mate.” John smiled, patting Brian on the shoulder.

“So…” Freddie smiled. “Is it official?”

You looked at Brian as he looked down at you, placing his arm around you as he pulled you in close to his side.

“It’s official.” The two of you said in unison as he pressed a kiss from your lips, causing the boys to hoot and holler in congratulations.

As a love song played in the room, Brian lead you to the floor as he placed his arms around your waist, and you placed yours around his neck, lovingly laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you swayed to the music.

“Thank you, Brian.” You smiled up at him.

“Oh anything for you, Y/N. I was hoping you’d like it.”

“Not for the necklace, silly. Well, for that too, but I meant for admitting your feelings for me. I’ve never been happier in my life.” You smiled.

“Neither have I. Thank you for saying yes.” He smiled, making you giggle. “Happy Christmas, My Love.”

“Happy Christmas” You smiled as he reconnected his lips to yours, making this officially the best Christmas you’d ever had.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Please excuse any typos and such! -C

Taglist: @yourlocalmusicalprostitute , @bismillahnah , @deakysmisfire , @queer-heart-attack​ , @everything-you-dont-wanna-be , @mercurycrowley , @ikbenplant​ , @xcdelilahxc​ , @chekovs-davy-jones-wig​ , @laedymoon​ , @manicpixydreamgirl​ , @jaylikesguavass​ , @brianskindofcheese​ , @anincurablefangirl​ ,  @jennyggggrrr​ , @delightfullynlove​ , @johndeaconshands​ , @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ , @hannafuckingsucks​

[kumkaniudaku]

Savage

A/N: Happy Two Year Anniversary to this blog. I hope you enjoy. 

Summary: CoCo’s trying to get back to herself with a special photoshoot and help from an unlikely source. 

Standing in the bathroom mirror dressed in nothing but the skin God blessed her with, Tasha proudly turned her hips from side to side to examine her body. A small smile crept across her golden features as her eyes raked over her hips before landing on her backside. She used the tips of her fingers to grasp at the cuff of her ass and lift the area.

"Hey there, girl. Been a long time since we've seen each other. Lookin' good." Tasha's hands took the scenic route to her breast, stopping at her stomach and rubbing her palm over the section that had plagued her for years. When she reached her chest, she playfully pushed her breasts together and smiled. "And look at you guys. Sittin' all pretty after all these years."

With her hair loose and untamed and Beyonce's self-titled album playing in the background, CoCo felt a surge of energy that began a swirling motion in her hips. She watched the natural curves and jiggle of her body as she moved and smiled, finally feeling comfortable with the "new" her. A year and half postpartum was filled with the ups and downs of understanding the changes within her and accepting them. Tasha's silly dance moves were a moment of celebration that her husband, who quietly stood in the doorway to enjoy the morning entertainment, understood and appreciated.

In the middle of twirl to the rap portion of Yonce, Tasha was startled by her husband. She quickly rushed to her phone to pause the song and end her private dance party.

"No, don't stop," Chadwick laughed as he stepped into the bathroom. "I'm lovin' the show."

"I feel like you're laughing at me."

"Of course not, baby. I'm laughing with you." His last words became a sultry mumble as he made space for his lips on Tasha's. Goosebumps pebbled on her cold skin wherever Chadwick's warm palms landed, finally finding a home just above her ass. They stood in one position, holding each other and making silly conversations that kept the energy light. In the middle of a debate on which child would be the first to wake and terrorize the house, Tasha decided to share a bit of news.

"I got an email this morning from Rihanna," she casually introduced, keeping her eyes away from Chadwick's as she pretended to take an interest in the chain around his neck.

"Is this for another one of those wild girl's nights that ends up on Instagram?"

"Wow, I accidentally showed a little nipple once on IG Live once, and now it's a whole thing!" Chadwick cocked his head back with his eyebrows raised and a soft smile resting on his face.

Instead of bringing up the instantaneous internet reaction that lasted for days after the unintentional peep show, he laughed at the memory and shook his head.

"Anyway," she emphasized with an eye roll. "It was an invitation to do a little modeling very soon."

"Modeling for Rihanna, huh? Is this the Fenty makeup stuff you look so good in?"

"No, but I'll make sure to bring your compliment up the next time I speak to her," Tasha laughed before going silent.

Her sudden reluctance to continue didn't escape Chadwick as he playfully pinched her backside to get a response.

"Don't leave me hanging, girl, what is it?"

"Ow! Okay! Rihanna wants to see me in some of her new...lingerie."

"I'm sorry what was that," Chadwick asked after noticing his wife's intentional rush past the last word.

"I said Rihanna wants me to model some of her new lingerie."

"Lingerie. Like half-naked, ass out in see-through lace lingerie?"

"Possibly. She says, and I quote, that I have a nice ass that deserves to be seen all over the world. She gave me the entire rundown of the campaign and the process. Baby, I really wanna do this. I'm finally feeling back to being myself after having Noah, and I want to celebrate! I'm not going to have this body forever. I should show it off while I still have time, right?"

Chadwick could hear and see the excitement radiating from Tasha at the thought of working on the campaign, but he worried about her. From the beginning of their relationship, he'd vowed to protect her from the often cruel opinions of the public. While he trusted CoCo's ability to take the comments in stride, he wasn't sure if he would be able to refrain from unleashing his wrath upon some unsuspecting teenager behind a keyboard.

Dropping his head, Chadwick placed a chaste kiss on Tasha's nose. "If you think you can handle it, I'm all for you showing off your little cupcakes within reason."

"Oh, yeah, right. You love these little cupcakes."

"Mm, I do. 'Specially when you have 'em all oiled up for me. Ooh, or in that backless satin dress you wear on special occasions."

Tasha rolled her eyes and smiled as he ran through all of the ways he liked to see her derriere present for his viewing pleasure.

"Do you wanna hear about the overall concept of the shoot or not, lover boy," she laughed while Chadwick nipped at her neck and pressed her body closer to his.

"Go ahead; I'm listening. I can listen and rub at the same time."

"Well, what if I wanted to be rubbed separately?"

CoCo could barely hear her husband's response over her squeals as Chadwick lifted her from her feet to place her on the counter. They quickly abandoned playful tickling for more sensual forms of touching until they were too wrapped up in each other to notice other sounds in their home.

Their escalating round of flirting came to a sudden halt when the repeated clicking of the bedroom's doorknob caught their attention.

"It's time for breakfast," Micah yelled from the hallway. "You guys said playtime was at night! I'm hungry."

"What are we eating this morning, baby girl?"

"I dunno! I'm not a grown-up yet. Can Mommy wake up and make us pancakes? MOMMY WAKE UP!"

Tears pricked CoCo's eyes as she fought to stifle laughter and catch her breath. "I'm awake, Chicken Little. Pancakes coming right up. Go check on your brother."

Micah answered with an unenthusiastic grumble before dragging her feet down the hallway in the direction of Noah's bedroom. One look at each other sent Chad and CoCo into a fit of laughter at the sheer comedy of the moment.

"That's our girl," Tasha laughed.

"She's a little diva. I wonder who she gets that from."

"Oop! Is that sarcasm I hear, husband?"

"Oh, never!" Sneaking a final kiss, Chadwick stepped back to make his way toward the threshold of the bathroom. A mischievous smirk graced his face as he turned to address his wife. "She absolutely gets it from you."

---------------------

"Hit a switch on a fake nigga, like a station. Sex with me so amazing…"

Tasha silently mouthed the words to Rihanna's ANTI album while her house buzzed with staff members assisting with the early morning shoot. Though her exterior was calm and collected on the outside, she was suffering through an awful surge of anxiety.

When she initially accepted Rihanna's invitation, CoCo didn't even consider the specifics. She'd been a part of plenty of photoshoots, but all of them had he styled in clothing that didn't show off very intimate curves and lumps. Never had she been tasked with fighting to cover her nooks and crannies with her olive-colored Savage x Fenty robe.

"You think I can fit this?"

Snapping from her onslaught of negative thoughts, Tasha shifted her eyes to get a glimpse of her sister through her vanity mirror.

"Yeah...in about four months."

"I don't have four months. I wanna have sex tonight. I'm hormonal, and I want it immediately."

"Then, by all means, cram those big lactating titties in that bra."

Tiana laughed from the pit of her growing belly for several seconds until she paused. "I think I just peed a little."

This time Tasha joined in, motioning for the makeup artist to pass her a few tissues to catch the tears welling in the corner of her eyes.

"Sit your ass down, TiTi. The only person allowed to pee on the carpet by accident is still learning how to stand on his own two feet."

"I just love my little chunk muffin," she gushed, referring to her nickname for Noah. "When are they coming back?"

"Hopefully, long after all of this is over. I don't know if I'm ready for Micah to see me dressed so...so scandalous."

Taking a seat on the chaise across the room, Tiana shook her head in disapproval. "Oh girl, hush. You're a woman with a beautiful body, and Micah could stand to learn an early lesson about the power of living in your skin unapologetically. A healthy body image at a young age is important."

"When did you become a damn poet," Tasha asked in faux annoyance. She knew her younger sister was right in her advice and needed a moment to process the statement.

"I became a poet when you invited me over here for moral support. It's my new thing after reading all these rich lady parenting books."

"Who knew my little sister had morals?" The pair locked eyes through the mirror and smiled at each other when Tiana flashed her middle finger and waved Tasha off. "Really, though, thanks, Ti. I appreciate the advice."

"Yeah, yeah. Show your appreciation by directing me to the best snacks in your pantry."

The hairstylist took a break from situating CoCo's pin curls to finally release his laughter, making the Greene sister duo join in.

"You two need a YouTube channel. I would subscribe," he complimented as his laughter subsided. "Feel free to grab some food from the catering station on the deck. Or we can get someone to bring it to you. What's the order?"

"Oooh, fancy! Don't worry about that, sweetheart. I need to get some exercise done anyway. Gotta keep my girlish figure for my Savage shoot one day."

Tiana gave the room a show as she playfully ran her hands up her legs and twisted her hips in a sultry dance. Once she exited the room in search of lunch, silence filled the room once again.

Megan Thee Stallion became the soundtrack of Tasha's thoughts as she pondered Tiana's advice. Maybe it wasn't Micah that needed the body positivity message. Though she didn't necessarily hate her body, she was used to living in her shell in public, and only embracing her natural self in private. It was time for a change.

"Knock, knock." A set of knuckles rapped against the hardwood door of CoCo's vanity area inside of her closet, making her pause to catch her breath. Such a melodic blend of West Indian charm and homegirl inflections could only belong to one person.

"Rihanna?!? In my house?!? Am I dead?"

The Bajan Beauty chuckled as she moved further into the room to check on the progress of Tasha's glam prep. "If you're dead, then I'm gonna need all this shit back."

"Wow, so you wouldn't let me represent the Fenty brand for Jesus?"

"Who said you were going to see Jesus?" Everyone in the room fell into a fit of laughter as Rihanna wrapped her arms around CoCo in a warm embrace. "You look so good right now! Like...damn!"

"Do I? Because I feel like an old lady trying to be young again."

"Oh, please! Stand up." Tasha immediately began to protest, but her words fell on ears that would not take 'no' for an answer. Before she could make a mad dash for the bathroom, Rihanna rushed to pull Tasha in front of the full-length mirror to get a good look at herself.

They stood in silence for a moment, allowing CoCo to quietly regard her body while Rihanna adjusted the straps of her racy bodysuit. The custom Savage by Fenty silk robe hanging off of her shoulders hid most Tasha's body, but what she could see brought a small smile to her face.

"Cross Fit is full of a bunch a dudebro white boys, but I have to say, it works," she laughed as she turned her body to get a better look.

"I told you! I know a bunch of old bitches that need to take a seat and hang it up. You are not one of them." Finally done with her adjustments, Robyn stood on her tip-toes to rest her chin on Tasha's shoulder and smile. "Now that we're on the same page, you ready?"

Taking a deep breath, Tasha nodded and smiled, "I'm ready."

"Good. Now, get this bitch some wine and turn up the music. She needs to get loose!"

As ordered, CoCo took a break for red wine before settling in the mood of the shoot. Rihanna explained her vision for the afternoon as a beautiful look into the sexiness of motherhood and being a wife.

"It's like Desperate Housewives meets XNXX," she described as Tasha downed the last of her Merlot. "Ho, but make it, mommy."

Though the visual was funny, CoCo understood the intention and used it to fuel her movements from scene to scene. Exaggerated arches while pretending to vacuum or make up the bed felt silly initially until the praise of the photographer began to boost her confidence. In her second outfit, a floral lace teddy, she felt covered enough to be comfortable and exposed enough to feel like the most beautiful woman within 100 miles.

"Look at me like I'm your husband walking into the kitchen after a great night, and you're making breakfast to thank him. Give me those bedroom eyes."

Everyone in the kitchen could sense an energy shift as Tasha bit her lip and gave the camera a coy look over her shoulder. Flashbacks of a scenario matching the request made her stomach flutter with the emotion of seeing her man waltz down the stairs after their first night together.

"Oh, she's feeling it," Tiana smiled as she leaned over to speak to Rihanna. "I recognize that look, T!"

"You fantasizing over there, girl?"

"Let the master work in peace, please. Thank you!"

CoCo's thoughts of Chadwick became a reality when her exhausted husband walked through the front door with both kids in tow. The sight of a full crew roaming his home added an extra layer of anxiety to an already turbulent afternoon. But, taking a step into the kitchen and laying eyes on his wife gave him a second wind.

He watched her charm the room and the camera like a pro.  

He wasn't the only person speechless for her display.

Micah's eyes sparkled as she watched her mother dazzle, and she couldn't help her tiny squeal. The sound drew everyone's attention while she rushed into the room.

"Mommy, you look like a movie lady," she exclaimed.

Tasha turned just in time to intercept Micah's hug before pulling her off the ground. When she looked up to find Chadwick, he gave her an apologetic look.

"I know I said we'd be gone, but Noah was fussy and I -"

"Baby, it's okay." Tasha's laughter caught Chadwick off-guard.

"You...you sure? I can take them to the park or something."

"It's fine! Right, Robyn? It's cool if they stay?"

"Girl, this is your house! It would be very Karen of me to tell you who you can and can't have in here," Rihanna laughed. "Plus, I wanna hold the baby. Gimme!"

Chadwick took Rihanna's request as an opportunity to get closer to CoCo, who welcomed him with open arms and a kiss to the cheek. Leaning in to return the gesture, he made it a point to brush his lips across her ear.

"Keep this outfit for another time. You look amazing."

"Yeah? Maybe you can help me into the next one." The thought of another racy number had Chadwick on high alert and more handsy than he would generally be in front of a crowd. "Hey, now! Get on out of here. You're holding up the crew."

"Bold of you to assume we didn't get all of that. I want some more," Rihanna added as she tickled Noah. "Miss Micah, you wanna take some pictures?"

"Yes! Please please please, Mommy! Pleaseeeee!"

CoCo looked to Chadwick for confirmation that he granted her with a nod and a smile.

"Of course, baby. Let's go find you an outfit."

With some help from the team on set, Micah found in a dress that matched the styling direction of Tasha's bodysuit. The bright sun provided perfect light for the outdoor setting, making the backyard's greenery and the blue water in the pool. Micah was a star from the first click of the camera. For a child that had only been in the world for a little over 6 years, she had knowledge of her angles and how to interact with another person in the shot. Her facial expressions mimicked Tasha's as they posed together under Rihanna's direction. Her apparent excitement to be part of her mom's moment put CoCo at ease.

Soon, Noah joined the shoot for the final 20 frames. His baby giggles infused the perfect amount of energy to finish the day.

Long after the shoot had ended and the house cleared of visitors, Tasha still found herself buzzing. Standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, she smiled at her reflection.

"You think I could model full time. Like for AARP?"

Her comment made Chadwick choke with laughter before he could respond. "Yes to modeling, no to AARP."

"That's the right answer. Good job, babe." Once she'd had enough of looking at herself, Tasha flopped across the bed and closed her eyes. "Today felt so...good. I've never felt this free before. And seeing Micah look at me like a superhero made me feel important. She is six years old and giving me more validation than anyone in the world. It's wild."

"She thinks the world of you, trust me. We all do."

Popping her eyes open, she got a glimpse of Chadwick smiling down at her, making her feel warm all over. This was the high she's been chasing as she made the journey back to herself. In all of the photos taken and posted for likes and commentary from the public, nothing could compare to the way she felt when her kids told her 'I love you' or when her husband winked at her from across the room. His comments were confirmation of the lesson she'd finally learned. She didn't need to look a certain way for people she didn't know or care about.

All the love and adoration she desired was already around her.

[langdvnshepherd]

Headcanons: Duncan Shepherd as a dad (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none really it’s literally all tooth-rotting fluff I’m sorry lmao, mentions of smut

A/N: Someone requested more dad!Duncan and I, uh, had to do it. Definitely message me if you ever want to hc dad!Duncan because I can do this shit all day. I’d love some feedback as well as some suggestions on what to write next!

We’ve discussed how Duncan would act before his baby is born, but what about after?

First of all, he would not be able to keep his eyes off of them

He’s in awe at all times that someone as cold as him helped create the most precious thing he had ever seen in his life

Even when he’s exhausted from taking care of them all night and changing diaper after diaper, he would opt to just watch the way their little nose twitches and their fingers flex as they sleep

Every little coo or grunt that comes out of them is the cutest thing he’s ever heard

Their cute little toes are his favorite

Loses it every time he sees how tiny their clothes are

sorry idk how to make the cut work so this line has to be here lmao my b

Also really loves watching you breastfeed because those are his two favorite people and they get to bond in this very special way

Obsessed with how their eyes get droopy and they get all sleepy after their bellies are so full of milk

Going a little off topic— I picture that this is when he’d ask you to marry him

It would be super casual

You’re cuddled into his side while you’re feeding your little bub one morning and he’s contently watching the two of you and it just dawns on him that there’s literally no other way he could/would want to picture his life being like

He wants it to be you, him and the herd of babies the two of you create for as long as he lives

He says it plainly and matter-of-fact-ly that he wants you to marry him because this is it for him and he doesn’t want anything else

“I was gonna get you flowers and a giant ass ring and take you to a fancy dinner and be dramatic and with the whole shebang, but this just felt right. We can figure the rest out later.”

I would say he takes to fatherhood fairly well

Always offers to get up in the middle of the night and rock them back to sleep

Spit up and poop doesn’t gross him out

Thinks their little burps and farts are hilarious

“Heyyyyy, impressive! Just like your daddy.”

Cherishes skin-to-skin contact

At any and all times he can be found sitting on the couch or nursery rocking chair shirtless with his baby tucked into his chest

Also does the thing where if the baby falls asleep on him he refuses to move until they wake up regardless of what position he’s in

“My leg has been asleep for an hour, but there’s no way in hell I’m moving and waking up this sweet baby.”

You have an entire photo album on your phone of him and the baby asleep in the weirdest positions looking like identical versions of each other

Duncan’s arm tucked behind his head and slumped into the corner of the couch with your baby’s chubby cheeks smushed into his chest and legs tucked into their chest like a little football

When he has to take care of them alone for the first time he feels like he’s gonna puke

He’s convinced that something bad is going to happen even though you’re just going to work for half a day

If something happens it will be his fault and he won’t be able to live with himself

He calls you to before everything he does to make sure he’s not going to accidentally hurt them

“They have a rash on their butt, is the diaper cream the blue tube or the red tube?”

“Duncan, you know which one it is. You put it on them last week.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to double check.”

He measures every breath they take until you get home because he doesn’t full trust himself alone with a child

You end up coming home to a quiet house and find Duncan and the baby knocked out on the floor with an old Mickey Mouse cartoon playing softly on the tv

He was going to be perfectly fine, you tried to tell him

The first time the baby gets sick he’s so heartbroken

Usually their cries can be softened with a boob in their mouth or some gentle rocking and pats on the booty but knowing he can’t do anything to help them this time makes him feel so sad

He just hold them as close as he can and tells them he’s sorry there’s nothing he can do until they finally drift off

Duncan also probably withdrawals himself from work gradually after the baby is born

Also chills out on the shady business because now he has a kid to consider and if he gets caught he isn’t the only one that will suffer the consequences

Taking on less of a work load to he can spend time with you two but also because having a kid has made him reflect a lot

He wants to be the parent he never really had

He wants to look back and say he was able to provide for his family, but was also still present for all of the little moments

Him and his baby are best buddies and I am a firm believer in that

You can calm them down and make them laugh and they love you so much but it’s nothing compared when they see Duncan walk into the room

They’re immediately in a better mood or having a giggle fit

They love it when Duncan tickles them with his beard when he gives them kisses or blow raspberries on their tummy and they love making grabby hands at it and scratching it

He talks to the baby like they’re grown and like their little babbles are actually words and it’s hilarious

“What’s that? You thought the State of the Union was pure shit? Well that makes two of us! I couldn’t believe the hot garbage coming out of his mouth either! What an idiot.”

It only encourages the baby to mumble and speak more gibberish because they’re thriving off of the attention they’re getting from their dad even though they have no idea what the fuck he’s saying

He fake wrestles with them by pretending to choke-slam them but he just softly flips them around and gently flops them down on the couch

Walks around the house with them hugging his leg or on his shoulders while they hold onto him by his hair

Duncan is always letting them do things you don’t want them to do like crawl around butt-naked or letting them suck a tiny bit of cake frosting off of his finger when you aren’t looking

“Duncan, you can’t keep doing that! All of that sugar’s going to upset their stomach.”

“But look at them, they LOVE it. You can’t look at that face and tell me that they don’t absolutely love it.”

Their first steps are towards Duncan one day when he’s home alone with them

He’s working on his laptop while the baby was messing around on the floor with their toy piano and chewing on the ear of their stuffed elephant

For whatever reason he diverts his attention from the screen to the baby and sees that they’re fully standing on two feet and rocking back and forth and concentrating super hard on staying upright

Duncan realizes what’s about to happen and eggs them on with the bowl of dry Cheerios they had been eating for breakfast

“Come on! Oh my god oh my god, come on you’re so close you can do it!!! Come here!!!”

They make it clear across the living room and stumble right before falling but Duncan scoops them up and tosses them straight up in the air out of excitement and the baby is a squealing mess from the kisses Duncan covers them in

Their first word is “mama” and he’s honestly a little salty because he thought he was special

“After all I do for you? All the times I get yelled at by your mom for feeding you sweets and cuddling you at night when you should be sleeping in your crib? You betray me like this? I see how it is.”

He definitely finds it extremely entertaining to make them say random words like “shit” or “fuck” and 100% gets yelled at for it after they made a habit of screaming it around the house

IMAGINE their first birthday

You know Duncan spends way too much money on unnecessary things that a one-year old will never remember

A giant cake that they’re inevitably going to smash to pieces with their tiny fists

He buys so many expensive baby toys and it doesn’t even matter in the end because all the baby wants to play with is Duncan’s cell phone and try to chew on his watch

Given that babies and toddlers are a handful to say the least, the relationship between the two of you definitely changes

Not in a bad way, just different

There’s not a lot of time when it’s just the two of you, so you have to make accommodations

Quickies in the shower or cuddle sex 20 minutes before the alarm goes off in the morning

Most of the time, you’re both too exhausted to do anything so it’s a lot different from when it was just the two of you and you were constantly trying to jump each other’s bones whenever possible

Random, domestic things that the other does start to turn you on

Watching Duncan in the kitchen in his glasses and boxers on a weekend morning teaching your kid how to peel an orange

Duncan watching you frustratingly change tops for the third time because you kept leaking through the fabric

Daddy kink takes on a new meaning

You fall more in love with each other after going through the adjustments of parenthood together

When they start going to daycare, Duncan is pretty sad

His baby isn’t really a baby anymore

But he lightens up when he sees how much fun they have when he picks them up everyday

They’re so excited to show him their new friends and where they put their mat for naptime and the finger-painting they made of your family (they insist that’s what it is but it’s really just a bunch of giant blobs but Duncan refuses to acknowledge that and congratulates them on being such a talented artist and puts it on the fridge it as soon as he gets home

They also love getting into the routine of getting ready with Duncan in the morning

Duncan let’s them stand on the counter and brush their teeth beside him and they make faces at each other in the mirror

Once, they tried to go for the razor because they saw Duncan do it once and Duncan’s life flashed before his eyes

They always give him a big, fat kiss and a tight hug with their tiny arms around his neck right before they run off into their classroom

He is the dilf of the daycare and we all know it

Everyone already thought your kid was the cutest in the class, but loses their shit when they see how hot their dad is

Comes in handy when he finds out another kid was mean to his one day and pulled their hair or called them a mean name and has to bitch to the people in the office about it

They started crying as soon as they got in the car from being picked up and Duncan’s heart hurts so bad

They’re so tiny and young and there’s no reason for anyone to be mean to them

He lays with them in their toddler bed and rubs their tummy and pets their hair until they fall asleep

Tells them that sometimes people are mean for no reason and they’re not whatever name they were called and they should never do those things because that’s not how you treat people

He’s obviously still upset about it when he gets into bed with you later that night

He didn’t think his kid would be subjected to the cruel world at such a young age and he hates that he wasn’t there to protect them

“There’s only so much you can do. You did everything you could, and that’s what matters to them. That you love them, and that you’ll always be there for them to talk to.”

Duncan nods but it’s clear that he’s still beating himself up over it

“Donut, if you don’t stop moping I’m gonna have to show you how good of a dad you are by making you another one.”

“.....is that a promise?”

Ok I’m done now I think please send in more hc’s if you think of them dad!Duncan is my lifeline that’s it thanks

Some of you asked to be tagged and idk if you meant just in the sugar daddy fic or in everything so lmk what you meant lmao

@sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 ​ @langdons-rep ​ @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @venusxxlangdon

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

invisible strings

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

Word count: 3401

[ a/n: thank you so much for all the love and support. We’re almost done with this series! If I forgot to tag you please let me know! Also the ending is a bit lackluster but decided to save the best one for something special for the last chapter]

Age: 21

Year: June/July 2015

Location: CA & NY

"Thank-you all for coming and christening our new place," Thor thanks everyone, as he and Loki stood up at the dining table in their lit up backyard.

"Now there's one person I want to thank, my love," Thor said, reaching his hand out to Wanda who was sat to his left, Loki took his seat back down, "My love, I just want to thank-you for being by my side these last two years. I have never been as happy as I am with anyone else. Now I'm not very good with my words, but what I do know is how I feel about you. The love I have for you exceeds anything else."

"So, I just need to ask you this one question," he says, bending down on one knee, holding Wanda's left hand, while holding the ring box in the other, "Will you, Wanda Maximoff marry me?

"Yes," she cried out, throwing her arms around Thor's neck.

Everyone got up to cheer the newly engaged couple.

Steve and Elizabeth laid naked in her bed, comfortably in each other's presence after the night's activities.

"I can't believe Wanda and Thor are engaged," Elizabeth said, as Steve rubbed her arm as she laid on his chest.

"He's been talking about it for the last year," Steve tells her, "Said he didn't want to scare her off."

"Guess I'm going to have to find a new roommate," she jokes.

"Well actually, I was thinking."

"You better not be proposing to me post sex, while we're naked in bed," Elizabeth playfully jabbed his chest, looking up at him from his chest.

"No, no," Steve lets out a hearty laugh, "Not yet. We still have time for that."

"I was actually thinking, why don't we get a place together. After graduation," Steve suggests.

"What about your job?"

"I can commute," he says, "I'll be done with school in May. You still have law school after graduation, and I have no doubt Stanford is going to accept you into their law program, so you don't have to move."

"What if I don't get accepted?"

"I highly doubt you won't, but if you don't, I'm sure Columbia will snatch you up. And I'd follow you, wherever you go."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked, surprised he would even say that.

"Yeah. There's a lot of architect firms out there, and I'm sure my boss will give me a nice recommendation."

"I couldn't ask that of you Steve," Elizabeth said, getting off of his chest to sit up, grabbing the blanket to cover her chest.

"Which is why I'm offering. I want to do that Liz. This right here," he sits up, and gestures to the both, "This is all I want. So please, if it comes time for that, just let me."

"Okay. Promise you won't resent me?" She asks, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

"Never," he seriously says, pulling her in for a kiss, and back into his arms.

As they laid in bed, Steve notices Liz is lost in her thoughts.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Us, and everything that's lead us to this moment. Like there were some invisible strings leading me to you," she tells him.

"Yeah, you're correct," he ponders.

"Like everything that's happened, happened for a reason. We weren't supposed to be with each other then otherwise we probably wouldn't have made it out of high school."

"You don't think?" Steve asked.

"No, because we wouldn't have been the people we are now. Let's be real here Steve, you and I are not Bucky or Peggy. We're dreamers. Full on happy ending believing people who happened to be with realists at the time. We would've been so naive about the world outside of Brooklyn," Elizabeth says.

"We had never truly experienced pain in the way that we did. If we didn't go through senior year the way that we did, we wouldn't be here. Not specifically together or in California. But we would be stuck in a life where we forced ourselves to be happy. Where we didn't have room to grow. Room to experience a different way of life. We would've been who we were as 16 year olds. And don't get me wrong but that's no way to be."

"I'm glad this happened when it did," she says tilting her head to look at Steve's face.

"Me too," he smiled kissing the top of her head.

"Wow, my arm is so tired from lugging this ring around," Wanda announces walking into Elizabeth's room where she was packing things into a suitcase.

"Must be so exhausting," Liz teases as Wanda takes a seat on her bed.

"Incredibly," Wanda smiled, "How's the packing going?"

"Good, I have everything I'll need for the next two weeks," Liz tells her, "You guys are flying in two days before Steve's birthday right?"

"Yup! Thor seems to be more excited about Steve turning 21 than he is," Wanda laughs, "Next up will be you next month. Vegas won't be ready for us."

"Thor really is going out for all of our 21st birthdays, is he."

"He's excited we're all legally allowed to drink," Wanda says.

"So," Wanda shifted in her seat, "Are you guys going to the baby shower?"

"Yeah we are," Liz nodded her head, "Things have been better, and Steve really wants to be there for Bucky, and so do I."

"How are you feeling about it all?"

"Honestly, if Bucky is happy then so am I."

"It doesn't bother you even the slightest that he's having a baby with the woman he cheated on you with?"

"No," Liz shakes her head, "We've both moved on and grew from our situation. I'm happy with Steve, truly 100% happy. I know in my heart that Steve is the one."

"Whoa, wait, back that up," Wanda immediately shot up from her spot on the bed, "He's the one?"

"Yeah," Liz bascule smiles, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

"I mean, I knew that you loved him, but I don't think you've ever said out loud that he was the one."

Elizabeth shrugs her shoulders trying to fight off the huge grin that wants to spread across her face, "Well he is."

"Wow, umm this is great news," Wanda says looking around the room.

"What's wrong?" Liz asks taking in Wanda's sudden mood change.

"I just," Wanda coughed, trying to fight back the ball in her throat, her eyes tearing up, "I'm so happy for you. God this ring is making me incredibly emotional."

"Aw Wands," Elizabeth pulled her into a hug.

"You just deserve to be with someone who truly thinks the world of you and would move those worlds for you," Wanda cries in Liz's shoulder, "I just remember you telling me all about the shit you went through with Bucky in high school, and then the crap he put you through freshman year. You were just so over the idea of love. Even with steve you were so cautious, so just to hear you say that he's the one. I'm just so incredibly happy."

Elizabeth hugged Wanda tightly, tears streaming down her face. It meant the world to her to hear Wanda say those things. She felts so incredibly lucky to have a friends like her in her life.

"I better be your maid of honor," Wanda teased pulling away and wiping her tears, "Because you already know you're mine."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"We still need to get a baby shower gift for tomorrow," Elizabeth told Steve as they lounged around his childhood bedroom. Steve was sat at his desk sketching, while Elizabeth laid in his bed reading a book.

"I can do that if you want," Steve offered, not wanting to make Elizabeth uncomfortable no matter how many times she's told him she was fine.

"Somehow I don't think I can trust you getting the correct gift," Elizabeth teased.

"Babies like legos right?" He teased back, getting up to join her on the bed, laying his head down on her stomach.

"We can go together, I still need to get a few things for the party next weekend," she said playing with his hair.

Steve hummed in response, feeling himself getting tired, "A quick little nap and we'll go."

"Sounds good," she smiled at the man snuggled up on her.

The next day the couple were walking into the Barnes' backyard, hand-in-hand with a gift bag.

They were both instantly greeted by Bucky's mother Winnie.

"Oh you two made it!" She enthusiastically greeted them, pulling them both into a hug.

"Of course. We wouldn't have missed it," Steve smiled at her.

"Thank-you," she turned to Liz and grabbed her hand, "both of you. James really appreciates it. We all do. Especially with everything that has happened, he's going to need his best friends."

"You don't have to thank us," Liz says, "We'll always be there for Bucky. No matter what happens."

"Well thank-you," she smiles, and then turns to Steve, "Steve the men have been sent inside, so you can see your way inside."

"Already getting pushed aside," he jokes.

He placed a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek, "I'll be inside if you need me."

She nodded her head, then glanced around the yard and caught eye contact with an old high school classmate, Natasha's friend, rolling her eyes at the couple.

She cleared her throat, "Where do the gifts go?"

"Over at that table where Rebecca is at," Winnie smiled, and pointed to the table to the right where Rebecca was organizing all the gifts. Liz thanked her and made her way over.

Liz couldn't help but start to feel a bit uncomfortable. She hadn't planned for she and Steve to be separated for the entire party. She didn't really know anyone here, aside from Bucky's family, where things were still a bit awkward after last summer.

Even though things were good between Steve, Bucky, and her, it was still awkward. She and Natasha don't have the best history, they still haven't talked everything out, clear the air. Not that Nat owed Elizabeth a conversation, she just thought that now that things were okay, maybe them two can work on their relationship, for the sake of Bucky. But whenever Liz tried to reach out Nat would just say that she was busy, so she didn't push it. Not with Natasha being pregnant, plus she figured now that she was in town for two weeks that maybe they could get together for a quick chat.

"Hey Liz," Rebecca greeted her, a sigh of relief to see a friendly face.

"Hey Bec," she smiled, hugging the teen.

"God, I'm so glad to see you," Rebecca said pulling back from the hug, "Some of these girls are real bitches."

Liz was taken back for a second hearing Rebecca swear, it's sometimes hard to believe that tiny little toddler is now this young lady about to enter her senior year of high school.

"I'm sure they're not so bad," Liz said trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

"Really? Because they're looking at you like you just murdered their entire family," Rebecca said.

Elizabeth turned around to see Natasha's friends huddled in a semi-circle around Natasha, all whispering and glaring at her. She turned back around to Rebecca and gave her a force smile.

Rebecca felt bad at bringing that to Liz's attention. Liz was always so nice to her, and even continues to keep in contact with her especially when Rebecca needs any help or advice.

"I can take that," she said trying to change the subject.

"Thank-you," she quietly said, handing over the gift bag to Rebecca.

"They're just jealous," Rebecca tells her, "Even with having my brother's child, Natasha still can't find it in her cold hearted heart to be nice to you."

"She doesn't owe me anything."

"Now that's not true. She owes you a lot, and the least she can do is be nice, especially with my mother throwing her this baby shower and allowing her to live with us until she and Bucky find a place."

"She's living here?" Elizabeth asked, surprised to hear that. Bucky never mentioned Nat living with them, they did know that they were looking at places closer to his job and school.

"Yeah, she moved in probably two months ago, when she really started to show," Rebecca tells her, "Apparently she hadn't told her dad, and once she started showing she had to confess. He kicked her out. Said she was ruining her life."

"That's intense," Elizabeth said.

"Yup. So my mom and Keith are letting her stay until they find a place of their own," Rebecca says, "And as much as I love my brother I can't wait til she's gone. He's an idiot for knocking her up."

"She can't be that bad," Liz said trying to give Nat the benefit of the doubt.

"Trust me Liz, she is. Being pregnant has made her a complete devil," Rebecca stresses, "My mom is way too nice to have that be the mother of her first grandchild."

Before Liz could respond to that, someone came up behind her.

"Oh Becky, I wanted the gifts to be color coordinated," Natasha remarked, with her hand on her belly.

"My mom told me to do it by size," Rebecca rolled her eyes, "And my name's Rebecca."

"But Becky is so cute."

"No it's not," Rebecca argued.

"Hi Natasha," Elizabeth awkwardly greeted, breaking up the conversation.

"Oh hi Elizabeth," Natasha stiffly said, forcing a smile on her face as she rubs her belly, "Didn't think you would show up."

"Oh, well Steve told Bucky we were coming," she explains.

"Of course he did."

"You look pretty," Elizabeth complimented her to try and break the tension.

"I know. I'm absolutely glowing carrying Bucky's child," she replied with a snarky tone.

"I'm really happy for you both."

"Sure you are," she rolled her eyes.

"No, I truly am. That's why I actually wanted to talk to you about. I was wondering if maybe we can get together sometime this next week, to talk," Liz suggests.

"There's no need," Nat tells her, "I get what you're doing. You think that getting on my good graces will put you in Bucky's good graces, but I hate to break it to you, that's not going to happen. I'm trying my best here to be polite to you, but once this baby is born, I'll make sure Bucky no longer makes time for you and Steve. I am his life now, and we don't have space in it for you both."

"Nat-"

"Thanks for the gift, hopefully the gift receipt is in the bag," Natasha fake smiled, "Enjoy the party."

"Fix the gifts Becky," she turned to Rebecca enunciating 'Becky', before walking away to go back to her friends.

"Told you she was the devil," Rebecca commented, ignoring Natasha's request.

"Yeah, you weren't lying," Elizabeth turned to look at Nat who was laughing with her friends.

Steve and Elizabeth said their final goodbyes a couple of hours later, and walked back to their rental car.

"That went well, don't you think?" Steve commented on as he started the car.

"Yeah it did," she lied.

Elizabeth decided it was probably best not to bring it up to Steve. He and Bucky just fixed their relationship, that she was afraid if she told Steve that Bucky wouldn't believe them. She would just have to hope that Bucky wouldn't allow their friendship to take another hit. She had faith that their friendship was stronger than that.

"Do you mind if we made a stop somewhere?" Steve asks her as he pulls away from the curb.

"No, of course not."

"Perfect. We just have to make one quick pit stop before," he says a few minutes later, parking in a parking lot of a cafe.

Steve walked back out of the cafe with a picnic basket.

"What's that for?" She asked smiling as he got in, putting the basket in the backseat.

"Just wait and see," he winked.

15 minutes later they were pulling up to a park.

"A park?"

"Thought we could have an impromptu picnic date," he smiles, "Wait here."

He got out of the car and grabbed the basket from the backseat. She heard him close and open the trunk. He then opened her door.

"Mi lady," he held his hand open for her to take.

"Oh why thank-you kind sir," she giggled taking his hand.

He led her to a nice spot on top of a hill, overlooking the park.

"Can you hold this for me real quick," he asked, holding out the picnic basket for her.

She took it from him as he laid out the blanket. Steve took the basket back and started to unpack the contents and laid them out on the blanket for them.

"A little dinner at sunset," he offered his hand so she can sit down next to him on the blanket.

"This was perfect Steve," she kissed his cheek, as they finished off their little dinner.

"Just thought I'd thank-you for coming with me today," he says wrapping his arm around her, as she leaned into him.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I know I don't, but I want to. I know you say you were fine with today, and I completely believe you, but I also know that even if you're okay with it, it's still can be uncomfortable," he says, "So I just want to show you how appreciative I am of you."

"I love you," she leans her head up to capture his lips with her's.

Age: 27

Year: 2021

Location: Brooklyn, NY

"Steve whats with the blind fold," Elizabeth giggled in the passenger seat of their rental car.

"It's a surprise," he laughed, "Now just be patient, we're almost there."

"Steve, come on you know I hate surprises."

"You liked the last surprise I gave you," he teased.

"It was a kitten, that's different," she smiled.

"You still loved it," he said, "Plus we're here already."

"Oh that was quick," she said reaching to take her blindfold off.

"Don't," he warned her, "Not yet."

Steve helped her out of the car, and linked their arms together as he led her to the surprise.

"Okay, we're here," he nervously said, he took her blindfold off.

Liz adjusted her eyes after being in the dark for the past 30 minutes. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with a lantern lit up picnic on top of the hill at the park.

"Surprise," Steve said behind her.

Liz turned around to find Steve down on one knee, with an opened ring box.

"Steve," she gasped.

He took her left hand into his own.

"Elizabeth Carolina Sanchez, words can't even explain how much I am in love with you, but I'm going to try. I don't think i can remember back to a time where you weren't a part of my life, and honestly i don't want to. You've made me so incredibly happy these last almost seven years, and no matter how much I say I'm appreciate of you, i don't think it's ever going to be enough. Getting to wake up to you every day to you smiling at me, honestly i don't think there's a greater thing in the world. I'd give the entire world, if it meant that I got to see you smile every day of my life. I don't ever want to imagine a life without you. You've made me the best person I could ever want to be. There's not a day that doesn't go by where you don't continuously tell me how proud you are of me, and the endless amount of support and love you've given me. There's no one I'd rather spend my entire life with. Start a family with. Be a family with. So, Elizabeth, will you do me the greatest honor of marrying me?"

"Yes," Elizabeth choked out, as the tears streamed down her face. She lunged herself into Steve's arms and kissed him.

"I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," he said, pulling her into another kiss.

They pulled away, and Steve placed the ring on her finger.

"I love you," she said again.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Jagged Little Tapestry

Masterpost

6x03: Jagged Little Tapestry

Alright, so this episode is notable for kicking off the last three part Brittana arc and for being Quinn’s last (awkward) run on the show - but it’s a solid (if not sad) episode, which, surprisingly, has a lot of juicy Kurt in it.  So here we go... 

It’s Too Late

Okay - so we’re gonna kick things off with some major angst, cause who doesn’t love that?  Actually - this show rarely starts off with Klaine, so we were all surprised when there’s not even a previously on -- it just starts.  And Kurt’s looking through sheet music (understandably since he’s technically teaching choir now) and lamenting the lack of Smash music.  I suppose - with the absence of a show like Glee in their world, Smash must have sufficed.  

Anyway, Blaine shows up - and for a split second, Blaine seems pretty happy to see Kurt.  Kurt, meanwhile, is a little stunned - but there’s a moment of flirtatiousness here until - BAM! Karofsky has his arm draped over Blaine and is making really bad jokes - signifying he doesn’t really know Blaine at all.  

The joke about sharing the music store as if it were the kid in a divorce.  Nice touch Glee - it works. 

How does Kurt feel about this? 

He’s gonna grin and bear it like and adult, while secretly plotting gory details of Karofsky’s demise in the back of his mind.  Really - it sucks.  It totally does.  Kurt knows that he wants to be back with Blaine, and that’d be fine and dandy - but Blaine needs to finish healing, and Kurt needs to still recover from the massive blow of -- don’t fuck up a good thing when you had it.  

Blaine and Karofsky shuffle off, as Kurt goes into daydreamy mood, and we get a (somewhat awkward) Klaine duet to Carol King’s It’s Too Late. 

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time There's something wrong here, there can be no denying One of us is changing Or maybe we just stopped trying

Oh my god is this song depressing. I almost feel like this song might have worked better before the break up? Because Kurt’s lyrics kind of have this waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling to it.  But I get why it’s here - they’re both still at this place where they think what’s done is done, though while, hilariously, still pining for each other.  

I mean, the whole set up of this song is that they very clearly want and miss each other, and keep throwing looks to the other, but the song keeps telling us that they’re done.  It’s a misdirection, people.  This is not the end of the story. Nope.  

Alright - so this next part is interesting, cause it’s sorta a flash back thing? And here the song (sorta) turns into Blaine’s POV, as he’s waiting at the Lima Bean, and daydreaming about his Warbler days with Kurt, and he’s completely missing what used to be.  

Kurt: Now you look so unhappy Blaine: And I feel like a fool (Kurt: I feel like a fool)

I kinda like that flashback!Kurt is telling him that he looks so unhappy (because we don’t get a whole lot of Blaine’s POV in this season, but yeah, he’s not actually happy with Karofsky - he wants to be because he doesn’t really want to be in that unhappy place with Kurt again).  But Flashback!Kurt also claims to be a fool, too.  Which the staging is super weird - but I’m gonna take it to mean that Blaine isn’t the only one feeling foolish over all of this.  Kurt really is, too.  

Blaine and Kurt: And it's too late, baby, now it's too late Though we really did try to make it Something inside has died And I can't hide and I just can't fake it

So, a couple of notable things about this second half of the song.  A) Kurt and Blaine both have each other’s pictures still... months have they’ve broken up, Blaine’s got them stored in his phone (which is sorta normal).  Kurt has them in a binder with sheet music - which is, admittedly, kinda weird.  But the point is, he didn’t just trash everything when they broke up.  Really, he just compartmentalized and put it off so he didn’t have to think about it -- but now he’s thinking about it, and god the whole thing hurts.  B) They’re both are angsting so hard for each other.  Oh bbs.  C) Chris totally doesn’t know how to play the piano.  

Anyway - the song lyrics keep making it out to say that the relationship is dead and that’s it, they tried, game over.  But you know, this kicks off the story, kind of like how the second break up kicks off the season.  It’s a starting point, now we’re on the path of healing and coming back to each other.  But that part takes a while. 

Jagged Little Tapestry

So - clearly, Kurt and Rachel didn’t finish their music sorting from the previous episode...  Kurt’s lamenting cause he ran into Blaine - and has had Carole King’s Tapestry on repeat in his head since then.  Some people apparently work through break ups with a single album - Kurt is that person.  (I wonder what he used the first time...)  I also kinda wonder if Carole King was one of those people his dad used to listen to on the radio when he was younger.  

Anyway, he decides that some good ole break up music is totally the right spirit to start off the glee club. :P  Rachel would rather do Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill - which she says is newer and edgier, and I have to laugh because that album came out when I was in Jr. High -- and kids today would have just as much of a connection to Alanis as they would to Carole, so Rachel’s whole point is kind of moot.  That, and the fact that Jagged Little Pill is angry in some songs, but it’s also very hopeful as well.  Whatever Glee - go make your point.  

Kurt, meanwhile, claims that Will did a good job giving them a rounded out musical education -- hahahahaha, yeah, nice revisionist history there, Kurt.  

Rachel thinks Will had an easier time in general because he didn’t have a partner, to which Kurt is all -- WTF?!??  (Yeah, good luck in life Rachel -- Kurt’s been there to support your emotionally broken ass for years, but whatever.)  Actually - Kurt then turns the whole thing around to say they should do both and we have mash-up week again.  

And really - they haven’t really done mash-ups in a long while, and this episode really works mashing them up.  Though, I am slightly side-eyeing the idea that two depressing albums will somehow get these kids to be fired up to compete.  Kurt and Rachel congratulate each other on being awesome teachers.  Aw, man, you can tell the influence Will’s had on these kids. 

First Lessons

So, Kurt and Rachel have what really counts as their first glee club rehearsal.  And - I mean, it’s funny - this scene is rather long, and kind of here just to set up the premise of the ‘theme of the week’ the combining Alanis and Carole -- and it also reminds the audience that the alumni (for some reason) are still around.  But -- that’s about it? 

Don’t get me wrong - this scene is absolutely hilarious.  The way Lea and Chris play off each other is comedic gold.  It’s awkward and ridiculous and it’s been a while since Glee has felt like a comedy so that it’s nice that it’s back! 

But can I gain much insight about Kurt in this scene? Um... not really - other than reiteration that Carole is Kurt’s favorite, but we kind of already know he’s an old school boy.  And he and Rachel should never be actual teachers.  

Also - Brittany can bend time with her mind.  (What you thought the massive fourth wall breaks started in The Hurt Locker, oh no...) 

A Modest Proposal

So - the next day supposedly, Brittany and Santana come in singing a mash up of Hand In My Pocket/I Feel The Earth Move and Kurt is, well, not really impressed.  He’s not a Brittana shipper guys.  Sorry.  No, really - he’s kinda bopping his head along but all this glorious gay is probably reminding him of what he really misses - musical dueting with a certain raven-haired warbler. 

Oh, and I should probably mention that in the previous scene - Brittany and Santana go on an entire spiel about how they’re not going to end up broken up and resentful, la de da, like Klaine supposedly is -- cause again, we’re in the land of all the fourth wall breaking and analysis from within the story.  

I should also probably note that Kurt is (purposely) off to the side and really alone.  Looks like Puck and Quinn are still doing their together thing, the newbies are all having fun, and even Tina is having a good time.  But Kurt - eh, he’s not so much.  

So - Santana decides to propose to Brittany right there! And - it’s fine.  It’s sweet, I don’t care all that much personally, but the Brittana fans have something nice for them so it’s good.  Kurt however, oh he’s on to what’s going down the second it starts, and he is not here for this.  He is so not about to let someone else go through with something he just did.  

Everyone else is happy for them - even bitter old Tina - but Kurt has to speak now or forever hold his peace.  He tries to sell it as being too young (the show is going to continually try to sell us that, too - but I have a hard time with /that/ being the sole reason Kurt and Blaine had issues, but whatever).  Really - let’s call a spade a spade -- Kurt just got to be on the other end of witnessing a sweet and loving proposal, and it’s a jagged (ha!) reminder of what he no longer has -- and hiding behind his belief that he did the right thing.  

Side note - for him, it was the right thing at the time.  He wasn’t ready to be married because he hadn’t worked through some of his own issues. But, Brittany and Santana - aren’t him.  So it’s not his place to stand up and say that it’s not.  

But he does anyway -- thinking that maybe he’ll spare them the pain that he’s been and is going through -- or trying to validate some of his own crappy decisions.  Either way - Santana is not happy about it - I mean, really, if she had stepped all over his proposal, he would have shredded her alive.  

The Smack Down

So, even Rachel - who went through her own failed engagement, is telling Kurt that he should probably be supportive.  But Kurt doesn’t want to - because it’s a horrible decision.  And that makes me wonder, Kurt - what was horrible -- getting engaged? Or calling it off?  C’mon kiddo - get there. Anyway - Santana stops them in their tracks, and she’s about to put on the verbal smack down.  And here’s where I take a second to tell all the rest of you Kurt fans to -- calm down.  

Seriously.  Santana has been known to use her viciousness on everyone in the show, and I’d argue that her worst stuff was used on Finn (and maybe Brody) and sometimes Rachel.  And while no one ever has gotten it in one big bundle like this, I don’t thin it’s out of character and, you know what, it’s meant to be hurtful.  And I don’t hate Santana for it.  Kurt needs to learn to have some humility and Santana’s going to teach him a little of that here.  

Not to mention that Kurt’s annoyed by Santana - but not really hurt by her.  Because you know what? Some of it is pretty true.  And while I’m not a fan of Santana’s bullying antics in general, I don’t think most of what she says is unfair.  And seriously - you shouldn’t project your own issues on someone else’s relationship.  So, let’s break this rant down. 

Judgmental geroniphile with a mouth like a cat’s ass. -- Okay, I don’t agree with the last part, but he is judgmental and does enjoy old people. 

Shrill (sometimes) and self-aggrandizing about being the apex of gay culture -- so fourth wall break here - that’s at the Klainers, not at Kurt (is this why you guys are mad? C’mon, Brittana fans got it much worse from the writers).  I don’t agree that the writers should pick on the audience or fans - but there is a small selection of fans who hid behind the gay rights stuff just so that they could see Klaine kiss more and god let’s save that issue for another day...

Looks like they removed their first row of dentures when they smile -- well that’s a Chris physical feature that he can’t change.  Actors need to have thick skin about this - and I’m pretty sure Chris has been called worse. 

Dresses like one of Andy Dick’s elaborate wet dreams - lol, okay what does this even mean? Not really anything 

A breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray - lol, okay that’s kind of funny.  

Has an obsession with old people - She covered this already, c’mon Santana stop being redundant and get some better jokes! 

Drapes himself on pianos and sings old lady songs -- and let’s face it, this is true, and we all love him for it

Sexless, self-centered, baton twirler - Well - the sexless thing is kinda funny to me only because so many general audience (and the gay community) claimed Kurt was being neutered by the show - but I’d argue against that, hard core.  He definitely loves sex - and really, Santana knows that.  Self-centered - sure, but they all are.  Baton twirler? Well he prefers twinkle tube. ;)

He only knows three dance moves.  Let’s be real - this is true.  And hilarious.  

Santana’s final point brings it around to - don’t throw your issues onto my life, and she is right in saying that, tbh.  

The only other thing I find interesting about this scene is that she frames her rant as if to tell him why Blaine doesn’t want to be with him.  Kurt may have broken off the engagement, but Blaine was the one who didn’t want to get back together - and I feel like this point is often looked over when I see discussions of season 6.  Kurt wanted to get Blaine back and was told no - and he has to deal with that, and he’s not doing a very good job of it.  And that kind of ties into what Brittany will say later on in the episode, and why Kurt will try dating in the Hurt Locker episodes.  

Get your crap together Kurt Hummel!

(More thoughts on Santana’s Rant)

The Lesbians of Candy

I’m not sure how or why these two ended up backstage together - but here they are.  Brittany and Kurt have always had a kind of sweet and oddball sibling-ish relationship with each other.  And I kind of like that Kurt feels he can be a little more emotionally open with Brittany (lord knows he’s not doing that with Rachel apparently).  

The thing here is that - he actually apologizes about the proposal - which is huge for him! He thinks Santana and Brittany are good together (or maybe he’s just saying that, I have no idea), and that he considers them to be like he and Blaine - which Brittany points out isn’t true, cause they aren’t together.  

And that’s when Kurt reveals how he really feels - he thinks of them as, god dare I say, on a break. That he feels that they’re on a path to eventual reconciliation.  (He also claims that he’s bitter and that no one should get married until they’re thirty -- the show is really trying to sell us this line of reasoning, huh.  I mean it does kind of go along with his issues during the Finchel engagement, but I still don’t fully buy it). And this is when Brittany breaks some really crappy news - harsh enough that Kurt is physically winded by it -- that Blaine moved in with Karofsky. 

After a funny little beat about Uhauls mounting Mopeds - Brittany actually gives him some sound advice.  That Kurt needs to start moving on.  

Kurt, again emotionally honest, says he doesn’t want to do that - because if he does, he’ll be admitting that things are over between the two of them, and he doesn’t want that to be true.  

And then Brittany says something that’s actually kind of wise, tbh.  She uses a metaphor about candy to demonstrate, but basically -- Kurt can remain in love with Blaine all he wants, and really, it’s fine - he’s not going to magically get over his feelings any time soon, nor should he be forced to.  But -- he does have to manage to move on with his life and start living it.  Harder done than said - but her point is valid.  Kurt’s stuck in this sad place, and no one should be held back wishing and hoping for things to maybe or sorta work out.  

Kind of like Burt said to Blaine in Season 4 - if things are meant to work out - they will.  (Especially if it’s fiction, tbh, in non-fiction you do have to work at things.)  But the point is - Blaine, for the moment anyway, has chosen Karofsky - and to make it serious with Karofsky.  Kurt’s declared his intentions and that’s about all he can do - the ball is in Blaine’s court now.  Kurt does need to go live his life however that might be.  

(Now - do I think he needed to date an old dude while waiting? No, but the writers needed to go meta so whatever...) 

But lastly - I want to point out that Kurt living his life does not negate his feelings.  As we’ll see in a sec - Kurt very much and deeply loves Blaine.  That’s not going to change the rest of the series.  

The only thing throwing me off is Brittany -- cause here she’s giving him sound advice to move on, and then later she’s in with Sue about getting Kurt back together with Blaine.  When did she do a 180? Or is this part of the plan? The writers kinda have dropped the ball with Brittany making any sense, tbh. 

Reflection

So - here we get the writers kind of heavily hinting at something... I wonder what... ;)  

Okay first of all though, Jane and Mason are singing a mashup of Head Over Feet/Will You Still Love Me -- which is gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.  But here’s the thing -- a lot of people (rightfully one could argue) say that Klaine doesn’t have much of a musical arc in this season.  And I’d say - that’s because other people are singing the songs. Yeah - there’s a bit of flirtatiousness between Jane and Mason here - and it’s sweet, tbh.  But this song is about Kurt and Blaine - and more so - it’s about Kurt’s feelings about Blaine.  

There are two aspects of this song -- the Carole part -- will you still love me tomorrow? the song asks.  Kurt’s heart is broken, he’s just learned that Blaine’s moved in with someone else -- is it over? Cause there’s the second part of this -- the Alanis part, Head over Feet - an underrated love song if I might say so.  It’s about someone being so sure and so great with their love that they feel clear headed -- and it kind of is a nod to the depth of Kurt’s love.  He’s not going to run out and follow Brittany’s advice this second - but even when he does try to move on, this song is closer to his heart.  

And if the song and Kurt’s growing sense of emotion during it isn’t enough...

THEY GIVE US A FREAKIN’ KLAINE FANVID! Which really isn’t for Kurt - it’s for us, a narrative tool showing that no matter what is said in this episode, Klaine is so not done.  

But if we take it as Kurt’s memories - there’s something fascinating going on here.  Unlike last time when Kurt was visioning romanticism and sex (Come What May), here he’s remembering all the things -- friendship and humor and sucky, sucky moments, but also promises of forever.  And I think this is when Kurt finally, really gets it - that it’s not about needing to wait until a certain time and being stubborn about that.  It’s knowing that, hey, sometimes life sucks - even with your partner - and you’ve got to roll with it because the highs out weigh the lows, and you can’t just run away from them.  

But also - Kurt’s worried that it might be too late, though, even if it is, he cannot change the depth of the love in his heart.  

(I love this little bit - and it might be one of my favorite Klaine bits in the entire show!) 

And also - Kurt’s visibly crying by the end of it.  A reminder that Kurt doesn’t outwardly show his emotions very often, but also that there are very few people who can get under his shell.  Santana couldn’t penetrate it with that lengthy and horrible rant earlier.  But Blaine? Blaine’s sweetness and kindness and love has unexpectedly always ended up back in Kurt’s heart, and he really can’t run from it.  And he no longer will.  

Anyway - at the end of the scene, Kurt puts back on his armor and charges in at Jane and Mason.  I totally disagree with all of his assessments - there’s a ton of simple complexity here - and they don’t need choreography to make this number valuable - but Kurt’s lashing out (as Rachel calls him out on) because he’s emotionally compromised, and he’s trying to direct that at something else than his own broken heart. 

You know it’s kinda crazy when Rachel of all people can call him out on his emotional bullshit.  Good for her. 

Side note - later, when the girls are talking to Becky, Santana hits the nail on the head when she says - real relationships happen when you stop being the person you think the other person wants and just be yourself.  Blaine’s finally learned that he hard way - and now, so has Kurt.   And they’ll be better people and have a better relationship because of it.  

Check Your Baggage

So much later, Kurt comes back to Rachel to apologize.  And meta the situation for me so I don’t have to! He says straight up that his break up is effecting him, and he shouldn’t let it in a teaching situation, and it’s also causing him to grab for control in inappropriate places - like while teaching, and with the Brittana proposal.  Thanks Kurt! Saves me the time of having to spell it out through subtext.  

And then Rachel says Kurt’s tough love approach worked in their favor.  **headdesk** okay whatever show - just do your own rules... it’s season six, I don’t care anymore. 

And then Hummelberry decide that they’re gonna be good teaching partners.  Um, was this an issue - were they fighting and I just missed it? Show, do you even know what you’re doing anymore? Doesn’t matter anyway - cause in a few episodes, Will’s gonna be back and who cares. 

So - at the end, Kurt and Rachel give this whole speech about how you can be different and come at things with different ideas and opinions, but that makes you wonderful and unique and special, and still work as a team.  As Kurt says - Mash Ups aren’t always pretty.  

And then they break into what could be an anthem for the show - You’ve Got a Friend/You Live You Learn.  

Before I get to the song, though, let’s point out that Santana and Kurt are pretty happy and chummy with each other at the end.  Santana said her peace and Kurt apologized, and that’s all water under the bridge, so no worries there.  

But the mash up, yeah, I like this one.  Cause one part of it is about having friends when you need them, and the other part is about growing up and living and learning a whole ton along the way.  It’s really well done.  

In fact - I think all the songs in this episode are really well done.  This entire episode is, actually, really well done.  And, while it’s subtle, Kurt’s worked out some of his shit in this episode.  It’s really a pretty good (albeit angsty) one.  See - season 6 isn’t all bad!  :) 

[longeyelashedtragedy]

first impressions of hozier’s wasteland baby! (my first impressions are usually harsh FYI)

it’s REAL hard for me to listen to an entire album of anything through all at once without hating the album, but i’ll give it my best because this is special and i’ve been really excited for this to come out for a lot of reasons

nina cried power: grows on me a little every time. definitely was a smart start to the album. also fits way better on the album than on the EP

almost (sweet music): wow, such a great transition from ncp to this song. i still think this is real Mehhhhhhh lyrically and it will always sound like a paul simon song to me.  musically really strong which saves it and makes it super listenable!!! what’s going on with the rhythm in the chorus? he syncopates it in an interesting way i think, it keeps it fresh. i do love the line “be still my foolish heart” a lot

movement: y’all know how i feel about this song. nfwmb is still the winner, but movement is...WOW.  a fuckin gay anthem, the song that made Verb a word.  if i think about the significance of these lyrics to me i might cry!  the way he slides his voice so seamlessly through the verses, and then we get that Explosion, just damn. even if you can sing in this guy’s range, you still can’t come close to singing how he does. the a cappella at the end!  i always forget about it and then i have a religious experience for real. like suddenly being drop-kicked into burgos cathedral or something. moving on!

no plan: ok, this is the first new to me song on the album so i’ll just fire off first impressions from here on out. bold, catchy instrumental beginning. too bold?  this sounds weird. too like “adult” and the heaviness of it doesn’t match how graceful his voice is.  this sounds like it’d be playing really loud in a forever 21. jfc i’m gonna have to look up lyrics to read along because i can’t ever pay attention to lyrics when there’s Arrangement and Production Happening. 

Sit here and watch the sunlight fade Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late

has a gorgeous melody and i’d come back to listen again just for that lol

nobody: a lot of heavy drum intros on this album huh?  omg it’s got that 90s lesbian music organ sound in it.  “It's gin o'clock where I wake up, I don't know” okay edgelord! are you gonna brush your teeth with a bottle of jack? (i say this with love)  this is also sort of too Adult--

But I've had no love like your love, ooh, I'm nobody I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave

FUCK!!! ABORT!!!!  Wh...that’s so shades of “he is the disobedience that holds us together,” a Ghost line that I love, and it is IMPORTANT.  Wow i loved this so much that the song is already over lol

to noise making (sing): this album is so American. this sounds like a mariah carey song to me lmao. “Your awful heart” is a cool line though.  this is growing on me, but it sounds like such a mashup of 90s genres?  that’s interesting, huh

as it was: oh thank god, an acoustic guitar--that’s not something you’ll hear me say a lot.  i’m 100% here for this traditional, softer sound of his. give me some swampy irish blues shit.  ooh i love when he scoops into his lower register. foxgloved as an adjective. who is this “my baby?” the one nobody fucks with?  oh, i love when he starts low and then suddenly sings the next verse high--it’s like a burst of starlight to the ear!  “Make your good love known to me” is a very pleasing line.  

shrike: i don’t have a lot to say about this song...it’s just really, really good and melty-yellow and reminds me of lying in the sun in central park in the fall. 10/10. also it is so strongly associated with my bffff that it makes me really happy.  listening through again, it’s so perfectly crafted. how can you not get shivers at these instrumental bits? hozier at his best is effortless grace. this song sounds like what his hair looks like. oh, also this sounds really good back to back with as it was

talk: ooooh, intriguing beginning.  bateman brain went “this is related to lady gaga’s ‘teeth.’’  OOOH, these vocals.  HOLY SHIT this just got Adult. 

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around

*

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imaginin' you

oh my lordt!  Meu Deus!  i had to pause this shit!  this is just dirty, and that bass line ain’t helping!  also, i am SO IMPRESSED that after literally just 2 seconds my brain was like this is in teeth’s family because it totally is.  INSTANT BEST NEW SONG ON THE ALBUM. whomst the fucc is on bass here?  also that outro sounded like it walked straight of of danzig’s unpopular album 6:66 satan’s child which is one of my favorites hahaha

be: damn i’d hate being the song after talk lol.  50 seconds in + reading the lyrics and i have no impressions.  that’s always weird.  i really want to skip this one and like, let it autoplay at some point when i can listen to it less consciously and see if it sinks in?  but i’m not going to skip it because i want to see how dinner & diatribes sounds after it. this brain is a chore friends

dinner & diatribes: another really well-placed transition. be was sort of a weak song in my opinion so this strong, strong song keeps the momentum going.  i made this observation already but i have a great love for when songs are in 3 but are not floofy and waltzy*.  they get such an urgency to them, the rhythm gets super like...Driven. imagine him really wanting to GTFO and Get It Done(TM). it wouldn’t work as well in a traditional 4.  lyrically i think this song is hilarious and indicative of our boy’s personality

*i also LOVE floofy waltzes lol

would that i: more traditional hozier sound. oh, this is is so good!!! like a sunset over a plains state.  let’s go with nebraska because i’ve been to that one and it made a good visual impression lol. wow these lyrics are...really good and relatable.  i think i’m tearing up. this is another song that sounds very ��american” but in a very good way. he does american well lol.  ok so like “i’ve handled the wood” is giggle-worthy but i’m definitely tearing up here and i want to BLAST it in the car next time i drive somewhere

sunlight: dude i am not ready for the next song slow your roll here.  i’m not here for the clunky drum on “sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.”

I have been lost in sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight All we love is sunlight All we love is sunlight But it is sunlight

yo that’s legit. occasionally there’s something about this that makes me think of a mid-late beatles song, huh.

Each day, you rise with me Know that I would gladly be The Icarus to your certainty Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight You strap the weight of me A death trap clad happily With wax melted, I need to see Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

shit i need to like...Ruminate on these here lyrics.  so this is a rarity in that i will def listen to this explicitly for the lyrics?

the end is growing on me, it’s pretty. possibly too intensely orchestrated for me though lol 

wasteland, baby!: i love anytime a song starts like this.  he did the thing a lot of artists do where they put a very softe song at the end of an album. what the fuck is this effect on his voice? my synesthesia is really bothered by it. i can’t wait to hear this live and more stripped down.  what a sweet melody, possibly i could pull off singing this one.  the melody makes certain references to shrike, it’s another very melty-yellow song, and i think this is very cool and even cooler if intentional.  it ties the album together well because of that.  so i started out not sure about this song and ended up with goosebumps and loving it, though i don’t usually listen to soft music so i probably wouldn’t listen to it as frequently as a few of these others, if you feel me

to sum up my first impressions:

-nina cried power still just ain’t that gr8 to me, though i respect it 

-i liked this so much better than i thought i would, which is relieving 

-i can’t wait to relisten to these in various ways and get to know them better

-nfwmb reigns supreme as a song still, how did he DO that 

-my first re-listen is gonna be Talk feat. alex ryan’s Dirty Bass Line hell ye

[missytearex]

Hi! So I’m combining my October and November favourites here, as I never made a post for last month! Oops. Anyway, I’ve started making fic boards! I’ll link to those throughout. Here you go!

Larry

Boiling Blood Will Circulate by whoknows | @crazyupsetter (42k)

The wait isn’t long before something starts rustling in the bushes. Harry takes aim, squeezes the trigger, body moving unconsciously. They’re motions he’s done a thousand times before, and his body knows how to do it without the input of his brain now. It’s what makes him such a good shot.

He misses. The shot misses.

Something howls in the woods, a pretty clear indication that Harry hit it, but there’s no telltale sounds of a big body dropping, no animal charging out at him to take him out before he can finish the job.

Something does turn and run, though. “Fuck,” Harry spits out, scrambling to his feet and slinging the rifle back over his shoulder, giving chase. He’s not going to lose this hunt.

The trail of blood goes on longer than Harry thought it would. He doesn’t know how long he runs for, but his muscles are burning, chest heaving with exertion, until the trail just - goes dead. No more blood, just like that.

“Fuck,” Harry says.

deleted your number (so i can't call you) by tofiveohfive | @tofiveohfive (9k)

Harry wakes up to a voicemail.

It’s Saturday morning and it’s raining, a barely there drizzle. He sees the notification as soon as he picks up his phone from the bedside table, bleary eyes making it hard to distinguish the words. He’s got a few instagram mentions, a couple unread texts, but what really stands out is the “Missed Call and Voicemail”.

From Louis.

Or the ten hours before Harry comes home to Louis, and the five hours after he does.

Lilo

don't you hear me howling by theamazingpeterparker (13k) - [my board]

Liam turns and looks at him for a while. A scruffy, sleep-warm Louis Tomlinson curled up in a Star Wars blanket, asking what’s for breakfast after a night of running around the upstate forests. Werewolf or not, Liam had almost forgotten what a goddamn menace Louis Tomlinson was.

Louis has seen An American Werewolf in London enough times to know that city living isn't an ideal lifestyle for a new werewolf. He moves back home to find that Liam never left.

i'm never gonna fall (but i'm never hard to catch) by carissima (5k) - [my board]

TFLN: we were supposed to fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” he mutters, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Liam’s boxers and shoving them down past his knees. He’s inordinately pleased to find Liam’s dick is just as nice as he remembers. He curls his hand around him and hums happily as Liam fattens in his grip. “You know that, right? Who cooks breakfast for their one night stand? And then washes up afterwards? I feel like I should send your mum a thank you note or something for raising such a polite young man.”

“God please don’t,” Liam says fervently.

Lirry

the stars look very different today by colourexplosion | @jessimond (5k)

Harry's an alien who blogs about aliens. Liam's a human. Or is he?

an AU

Narry

just a little rush, babe by theamazingpeterparker (10k) - [my board]

“You know everything they say about Dracula? All that stuff I wrote in my paper?” Niall asks as he rips one of the glazed donuts in half. Harry hums. “It’s all bullshit. Real vampires do tomato juice cleanses and do yoga. Fuck.”

Harry's a vampire who's awful at parallel parking, being scary, and being alone. He meets Niall walking home alone one night.

Niam

Building Castles in the Air by el_em_en_oh_pee | @dulosis (10k) - [my board]

Liam is overwhelmed by his bootcamp roommate, who is loud and friendly and so totally up-front about what he wants out of this competition.

"I plan on winning," Niall says, twenty seconds after introducing himself, slinging his duffel bag down on his bed. "Touring. Playing my guitar, you know. Selling albums. Maybe working with Justin Bieber, if I'm lucky."

Lately I've Been Taken In by el_em_en_oh_pee | @dulosis (53k) - [my board]

Niall is the youngest in family of vampire hunters that extends back, generation after generation, for the thousands of years since St. Patrick brought vampires to Ireland to get rid of all the snakes. He's been well-trained in the fine art of slaying practically his whole life, racking up over eighty kills by the time he leaves the motherland to join a boyband.

His new bandmate, Liam, swears up and down that he’s not a vampire. But Niall’s senses never lie.

Nouis

Ask If You Know The Answer by disarm_d | @onedisarmed (4k)

It takes them longer than it should to realize that something is up. Telepathy.

Zarry

baby I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way by estrella30 (10k)

“Does he have your mark?” his mum asks. Zayn shakes his head. He’d looked at Harry’s wrist explicitly for the edgings of Zayn’s family crest but couldn’t find anything. Not that that means Harry’s not the one; it might need a touch or connection to come to the surface. Zayn’s not sure he wants to find out though. He doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to know for certain.

“Ah, well. It could be coming,” she adds, and Zayn shrugs. She’s silent for another moment, before quietly adding, “You could pick him, you know.” She sounds thoughtful, distant even. Zayn wonders what she’s thinking about, what she’s remembering. “If you want to that is. I know you’ve not been looking for your mate Zayn, but maybe this was what you needed. Maybe you needed your mate to find you.”

or - Zayn is an immortal modern times non evil sexual incubus who is reluctant to find his mate. And then he meets Harry.

Ziall

our names are written with starlight by softzindagi | @softzindagi (7k) - my board

After four years of failed attempts, Niall is still hopelessly single with no match to his soulmark in sight. But just because he can’t find his soulmate, doesn’t mean he can’t find love.

Got fire for a heart, i'm not scared of the dark by geewhizmo | @sleepymouses​ (45k)

“I dunno,” Zayn mutters. “I just think you’re much more in the business of flying than falling, y’know?”

That’s not entirely true, Niall thinks. I’m falling for you, aren’t I?

*

Niall leaves home for the first time and moves to a big city. There, he meets a group of people who will shape the course of the rest of his life. He tries (and fails) not to fall in love with one of them.

Also, they all have superpowers.

Ziam

Heart of Stone, Life of Fire by SoftlyandSwiftly (96k) - [my board]

A war with the city of Banshia and its conquering King threatens all of the Cities on the continent of Kiza. Young Zayn Malik finds himself hopelessly entangled in the web of the war, his future rewritten in the span of a morning as allies and enemies shift. Traded for the promise of an ally, Zayn finds himself among the warrior tribes of the Nakizi people, where he must carve out his own place and take his fate into his own hands.

For All the Stars We Cannot See by iambluehead | @iambluehead​ (30k)

Zayn grins sheepishly, the light hitting his face and making him squint, his fingers curling around the strap of his bag and his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck, a habit of Liam’s own that he recognizes on the other boy. “Yeah,” he finally says. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow?” “Yeah,” Liam says, letting out the breath that he’d been holding in his lungs until it burned. “Yeah, see you then.” The door slams shut, and Liam watches him walk up to his front door, wondering what would have happened if in that moment, he would have just leaned forward and— “The boy’s in bloody love with you,” Louis says bluntly, pulling away from the house and slamming around a corner at the speed of light. “You should get over your fear of everything and just kiss him already.”

(This is the high school AU where Liam plays football and is afraid of failure until someone puts Zayn in his life and he learns to be brave. There’s music Liam’s never heard of, eventful rides home from school, and drunken toasts to the stars they can’t see from Wolverhampton.)

Zouis

all the stars were crashing by sarcangel | @sarcathlon (25k)

“We should practice,” Louis says. He’s got a faraway look in his eye that doesn’t bode well for anyone, based on Zayn’s newly-formed knowledge of Louis. “Find a place, set up a schedule, all that.”

“What?” Zayn says, not sure where the conversation is exactly headed anymore.

“You know, in a movie - like, this would be our montage sequence,” Louis says, hands everywhere, gesturing wildly. “There’d be some song playing in the background while we spar and gain strength and -”

(and lick sweat off of each other’s necks, Zayn thinks, and then you knock me to the floor and lay on me and)

“Yeah, that’d be sick,” Zayn says, instead, not knowing if he’s more surprised that anything coherent comes out of his mouth or that he’s actually agreed to Louis’ awful plan.

In A Small Town I Saw You by zouee | @louiswmalik​ (153k)

Zayn nods a few times, judging whether or not he should just fucking spit it out. He should rip off the band-aid, jump into the cold water, throw this earth-sized weight off his shoulders and look Louis in the eye. “You should’ve remembered me.” He feels like saying. “I’m the reason you couldn’t.”

~

Zayn Malik spends the past eighteen months alone - using whoever and whatever he can to take his mind off of the one person he regrets leaving - and it’s not until he finds himself residing in a small town called Hillside when he finally remembers what peace feels like. Louis Tomlinson spends the past eighteen months surrounded by people - he’s coddled, fawned over, and most sickeningly; sympathised with - until he finally breaks away from the suffocation and finds himself face to face with someone who instantly hates him. Cue: endless angst, devastation, pathetic pining and Disney references mixed together in a pot full of misunderstandings and one-sided memories. The end result is ghastly. Proceed with caution.

Gryles

hold this thread by disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface​ (26k)

The air is heavy between them as they both watch Nick’s clumsy fingers mend the fabric. It must only take a minute, but it feels like ages. Beads of sweat form on Nick’s forehead and he can’t tell if it’s from the panic of the moment or the way the man seems to be waiting for something. He’s done a bad job of it, but finally the hem is stitched up. Nick loops the end of the thread and can’t stop himself from lightly poking the man’s skin again, next to the dark ink smudged on his hip that Nick is currently dying to ogle in full, just to… see.

The man shudders this time and luckily Nick is still looking down or he would have missed the man’s cock very clearly twitch in his bloody loose trousers.

Fucking hell.

On his way to visit Henry getting ready for his London Fashion Week show, Nick bumps into a (stupidly pretty) model and pulls a loose thread on the sample he’s wearing. Horrified, Nick tries to mend the simple mistake, but it may just unravel into the best thing that ever could have happened to him.

Tomlinshaw

Lost and Found by shiftylinguini | @shiftylinguini​, Writcraft | @writsgrimmyblog​ (31k)

In a year when things are coming to an end for Nick, an unexpected chapter begins at the start of a long, hot summer.

An accidental romance in Malta. Featuring Annie on the decks, Nick and Louis below deck, a handful of bad nautical puns and weather that's far too hot for trackies.

OT5

The Youth Branch of Magical and Fairy Tale Creatures and Beings Anonymous (Volume One) by sunsetmog | @magicalrocketships​ (5k) - [my board]

Sometimes trying to pass for human is hard. Monthly meetings of the Youth Branch of Magical and Fairy Tale Creatures and Beings Anonymous offers them the chance to be themselves, have an agenda, and work on some life goals. Just so long as Zayn can stop asking people to marry him after just one kiss, Harry can turn his Veela powers down, Louis can stop pre-emptively trying to usurp the god of mischief, and Niall can stop turning things into scythes. Liam just wants some orange squash and a biscuit.

steal my heart tonight by ThankYouMerlin | @thankyoumerlin​ (40k)

Niall rips off his ski mask, it was cliche and stupid (and totally Harry’s idea) anyway. “This is my mission.”

“We know,” Liam says, pulling his own mask off. Niall thinks they’re all wrapped a bit too much around Harry’s finger, maybe. “We just like watching you work.”

or,

An OT5 international thieves AU that contains very little actual stealing because I have no idea how to break into vaults in real life and lots of friendship and feelings from five boys in love.

Lilourry

only because you know (that you wanna feel the same) by words_unravel (34k) - [my board]

Liam may be able to catch glimpses of the future, but he never saw this coming.

Shiall

After All, You're My Wonderwall by alienharry | @aceniall (7k)

Guitar Prick: best eagles song, hands down, is peaceful easy feeling. they knew their stuff.

And Niall can't hold in his outrage. He's pissed. The Eagles are his thing, and how dare Shawn think he can message Niall, only nineteen years or so of experience under his belt, and shove his shitty musical concepts and overall terrible taste in Niall's face.

Niall: victim of love is clearly their best song. ya really ought to get your head out of your ass and educate yourself before running your mouth lad.

-

Niall's used to being the center of attention, so when a bright, musical boy with a charming smile starts routinely stealing his spotlight, he decides then and there to do everything in power to put an end to it.

[hopesanpedro]

Createurs - We Exist

I have the pleasure of being in the presence of talented and passionate artists and musicians most of the time and it’s, for me, is one of the best things in my life. Friends, I call these people.

Last Saturday, one of the bands I looked out for in the past years launched their first album – We Exist. Createurs, which is apparently the French word of creators which is already so beautiful when you think about it in itself, is a collaborative band telling the stories of the monsters not just under our beds but also the ones inside our heads, even the ones that are chasing us, through the music of different people. They have also collaborated with different visual artists for each of their song and those artworks were also featured in the lyrics booklet with their CD.

We Exist album has 12 well-written tracks that speaks of the eerie, the enchanting, the damned, and the mystery of the entirety of life. Yes, life.

Now, I’m not going to pretend like I’m some music expert and give you guys a review of their album. I am, however, going to share with you my thoughts on each and favorite lyrics from the tracks in it.

1. Pancake (Re)Mix

This one’s a little too close to my heart. Remember the artworks I’ve mentioned earlier? I made one for them and it was for this song. I think this is the most outright cheesy song they have in their album. But even so, it wasn’t the corny kind. I described this one as “colorful” when I first heard it. It’s exactly the reason why I was careful on putting too much color in the artwork, I didn’t want to take the colors from the song – I wanted it to be as serene and innocent as the song.

“Flying with time just to witness your smile. And I, oh I’m falling down tonight”

We all know the feeling of being all chummy giddy soft inside like we swallowed a whole damn litter of puppies and they won’t stop making you melt from the inside and that’s what this song makes you feel like – kilig. Oh young, new, love.

2. Tides and Lifelines

Okay, just reading the title you’d get an idea of what this song is about. This song reminds me of a lyric from one of my most favorite band ever ever; “love is watching someone die”. (fine it’s from What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie). I think this is one of the songs Createurs wrote and it speaks about mortality and how we deal with it.

“We’re the bullet in each other’s gun, shoot the angels that would take us apart”

Just read those lines. I don’t want to even think how hard it is to be so desperate and helpless in trying to help someone so dear in the brink of death. Ouch, I’m just gonna go and cry for a while.

3. Teragram Carnivale

“Shadows fall on rooms like this, where the sun and the moon collide, with your eyes that once were my carousel rides”

I feel like we all can relate to this song in some way. It has to be relevant to every one of us at some point in our lives. We all wanted to believe in something that has grew its root around our hearts and got a little too caught up in the roller coaster rides. I think this song brings you back to that particular time to make you realize that the past never changes and they never go away. Definitely in my top 3.

4. Facemask

I think I’ve played this song one too many times when they uploaded this on spotify before. Mostly because of its catchiness and its angst. Lol sorry I know, I can’t think of a better way to describe it. You can actually feel the song’s anger and disappointment wrapped in some sort of vengeful feeling.

I liked the lines “You’re only fooling yourself, messing everyone’s head.  A catfish, a sly dish, the culprit, gets blown kiss”

In this digital era, anything and everything can be edited or lied about and it gets sickening when someone or a group of people manipulate others by lying to them about important things.  Technology is a beautiful thing if used for good, but there is some greed in humanity that uses it for something else entirely.

5. Trigger Warning

“It’s the beginning and it’s the end. When all the light has been set, a warning when night is at best.”

I feel like this song was supposed to be in the beginning? It would have been nice to have heard this intro to all their haunting songs, both in a good and eerie way. It’s like the ones you hear when you watch a horror movie that gives you chicken skin and cool fog kinda vibes. It’s a mood setter, a look into the mirror of our own self. It asks you to look inside and acknowledge that you are one of these monsters you are so scared of.

6. The Curious Life of Mr. Hyde II: The Mexicat

This song is still in my everyday playlist. It’s been there since I’ve met Rain the night they played for WAT Up the first time and I got sucked into their music. Oh god I have so many favorite lines from this song!! It’s about mental issues and it perfectly sings the chaos that is in one’s head. They wrote this to try and explain how complicated it is to be in the state of unstable mental health in a very poetic way.

Here are my top 3 lines (YESS BECAUSE I CANT CHOOSE OKAY?? ☹ ); “The colorful imagery of dancing audacity”, “Conversing with my demons, addicted to the tone”, “I haven’t got a martini or any kind of whiskey, But baby you’re my margarita, drunk in love with you”.

Welp. Let’s just say I love the entire lyrics ugh

7. Pianocktail

OH THIS! I love this one. This reminds me of my other favoritest band forever – Panic! At The Disco. The story within and the sophistication in this one is something that’s imprinted into my fanatic heart (awow).

“The taste has never been this condescending. A drink to be made by the one and only pianocktail!”

Ah, there’s nothing more tripping than an uncertainty for something you’ve had for so long.

8. Chat Box From Alaska

“She’s a part-time lover and a beautiful liar, plagued with her broken words and empty promises. Cornered by the pillars of her comfort and embrace, making out with someone better, someone smoother, someone tastier”

I feel like this song is basically for fuck girls who manipulates people for sex by leading people on and leaving them just as fast. I think the last part of this song was written by Rain as a poem years and years ago? Nevertheless, it ended the song so smoothly.

9. Awful Things the Moon Saw

This song makes me think of obsessive lovers or past ones that refuses to let it go. Maybe it’s also us when we hold on a little too tight on something that’s already slipping away.

“Well you know you’ve got me haunted by your scent, Now I find myself begging and falling for you more and more.”

It is also kind of a lullaby to me for some reason, I can sleep soundly with this one playing hehe

10. St. Cecille

This one’s also in my playlist since I’ve first heard it. I think I read the story behind (or at least heavily connected) this song, written by the vocalist. He has a lot of passion, idk ask him. JK!!!!

"Rhyme our thoughts in this waltzing dreams. Time stops when you are around. You’re the one I’ve been talking about on the song of roads and hearts”

I wish I can share with you guys the link to the story but I’m not sure if he’d like that. Anyway, this love song is right up my alley – mysterious, magic, and love? Hell yas.

11. Bloodstream

All I can say about this is that I am so excited for the story to come out because I want to look more into it. Twilight’s werewolves just left the building.

“Chaotic, poetic, and overly narcissistic. Hypnotic, agnostic, but slightly optimistic. Out of the forest to Manila fucking buses. It’s a tale about a man who waltzed among carcasses.”

It’s a midnight story!

12. Stellar Memories

The first song, besides the ones I’ve already heard before of course, that caught my attention in the album was this one. It’s a desperate attempt to preserve something we believe in and wish for its memories to last up to our end.

“Set up the fire and let’s dance around the house. Then watch it burn down like the dreams we fought so hard to get. If this is it, hope higher, ‘cause we’ll hide from the world and never make a….”

I feel like this is the best song to end the album with because I didn’t want it to end and I just kept it on loop for all its entirety because I liked each song.

I’ve already wrote a (lengthy) Instagram post about their well thought branding and packaging but I also want to commend them for the bomb line up and organized launch! Page Four Production reminded me so much of the first gigs of WAT UP and made me miss the team. From promotions to media exposures, to the materials! I look forward to attending gigs they’d come up with!

I won’t ask for more releases so soon because I want to savor this album and all its stories. I’ve already heard the Part I of Mr. Hyde and it’s Createurs’ gift to everyone who attended their launch so if you are curious, wait for the next album maybe it’d be included there.

This album will always have a special place in my heart. It’s definitely worth the long wait. Congrats, Createurs!

Listen to them on Spotify and follow them on their social media pages to be updated!