#but lisn. this is cool

[schleckermaul]

   THIS DOESN'T FEEL PARTICULARLY FAIR. or, well, maybe it is, because this isn't a style of fighting that's familiar for break. he's not necessarily fighting enemies in a way that's most efficient. instead, he's staying close to agape— the actual version of him, the original, making sure none of their enemies get close enough to harm him, while simultaneously attempting to not draw too much attention towards his location. it's trickier than what break is used to. while chains come in all shapes and sizes, with their own issues to work around when you're trying to kill them, this is a delicate strategy that needs a different kind of communication with mad hatter.   

   right now, it's mostly singular orders, telling break where to strike, keeping his eyes closed for most of the battle to be able to concentrate on his other senses better. his sword connects with scales, he turns it the tiniest amount, and it touches flesh, slides through a body that slumps over, screeches into his ear without much of a voice as it dies on his blade, and break uses the momentum to propel himself into the next enemy, feeling concentrated, feeling focused. there's no time for the aches in his body in the middle of battle.   

   he hasn't felt this efficient in a while, reduced to the bare necessities, the left and right, the up and down, perfectly content with letting mad hatter guide him, here.      

   though, to be quite honest, he's not entirely sure if he's stabbed one of agape's copies. there's so many of them, and break spent a fair chunk of this battle in their midst, there's a fairly high possibility some of them ended up being casualties. but as long as it's not the real agape, that should be fine, right? he's never met somebody with this power before, and later on, when they're done with this entire ordeal, he'd love to talk to agape about it further.   

   and, with the last enemy slain, mad hatter quieting down, break wanders to where he perceives the true agape to be. he's covered in— well, he's covered in something. he's fairly sure the monsters they were fighting were lizard-like, judging by their scales, but standing on two legs, humanoid, meeting his height. slashed with their claws once or twice, it's mostly the usual exhaustion settling in, though even that's lessened by the smaller amount of communication he and mad hatter needed to win this fight. either way, it's blood, but perhaps not red.   

   ' don't relax just yet, ' break hums, a soft warning as he slides his cane across the ground until it touches the tip of agape's shoe. found! ' there'll be more. stronger, presumably. how are you holding up? did any of them get to you? '

@love-shutdown / event starter call

[hinamie]

oh my god ok so i know im late I didn't talk about it because it happened during one of my Offline Eras but . but listen ok lisn the new former vandal album sent me THROUgh the FUCKINNG ROOF to be fair i knew it would like i joked about going upstairs to listen to it and cry when it dropped but i didn't think that every fucking song would hit me so hard in the kokoro it made me wail because I too have immense religious guilt ANYWAY im gonna rant incoherently and at length now hope u all missed me

ok first of all gotta shout out the fuckin album title i knew it was gonna be devastating when I saw it . fuckin. divine interference????? music for god's playthings indeed i eat that shit up i was like yoooooo hes also got a bone to pick with jesus go off bestie <333

so former vandal are artists visionaries kings so ofc tracklist is all mythology n religion-inspired (lazarus/goliath/ouroboros etc) and i think its so cool that theyre all in caps until u get to the end and the final song is denial and it's in lowercase and maybe its simple but i was like ART. ARTTTTTT. and it made me go back and look at the tracklist of their previous album and I realized that the whole thing was about vices and unhealthy coping with an overwhelming and forsaken existence but then the final song was Get Right (still my go-to comfort song to this day tbh tbh tbh) and it's like an acknowledgement that ok maybe none of this is the answer and something has to change anyway wrong album oops back 2 divine interference

i made a point of listening to the songs that hadnt been released as singles first so the first song i listened to was Lazarus and tbh probably my fav song on the album maybe tied with parables and maaaaybe even icarian. BUT LAZARUS SLAPS SOS SOSOOSO HARD god the theme of not knowing how to leave something behind even when it's bad for you,,, both criticizing but also mirroring the actual story of lazarus in the lyrics being like "wow kinda fucked up of god for resurrecting u without ur consent" but also acknowledging that he himself is guilty of holding onto the things that kill him.,,, GOD ITS SO FUCKING G GOOD I FDFGSADFGDG

salt also !!! BANGER not quite up there with the likes of lazarus but it gets bonus points because a. i lov the idea of starting to recognize that you're coming into yourself n an identity apart from your vices n traumas and b. for having two of the most RAW lines in the entire album imo which is reaaallly saying something: "now that everything's bright I guess I'm fine/but there's an art in the dark that took years to refine" and "the spark of divine intervention/that I'm still terrified I've left behind" (ALBUM TITLE DROP ALBUM TITLE DROP) god these two just dont miss and i love it but i am far too neurodivergent to contain myself they need to give me a break pls i am v i b r a t i n g

ok gonna move into the Chill(tm) tracks I think with goliath as well as shame/rotten I vibe more with the lyrics than the actual songs because i prefer my angsty alt pop to be Upbeat thank u very much but can i just say. the lyrics of these two songs ESPECIALLY SHAME/ROTTEN LIKE ok first of all i love the tonal shift halfway through that manages not to make them feel like completely different songs it's just jarring enough like there's been an acceptance of sorts,, like omg same i too am like 'god i feel like the scum of the earth might as well own it a bit',, "the fear of god/the need for blame" fuckin bullseye ow,, "I starve to feed the parts of me/far from who i oughta be/tell me are you proud of me yet?" FUCKIN BULLSEYE OWW

I know i just said i prefer my angst upbeat but crocodile tears (very upbeat very rock wuaw) is probably my least favourite track if i had to pick but it does have a lyrical BANGER of an opening verse ("holding the hand that's holding me under" g o d) i think i just don't dig the overall melody too much and find the ending a bit repetitive fr my tastes,, who knows though it took a while and many re-listens for ouroboros to grow on me maybe this'll b a similar story ,, but then again ouroboros had the advantage of echoing mine own mental health and self-destructive behaviours shdgj

ok so i was crying from the beginning right but the songs that made me ugly bawl were growing pains (very similar vibes to get right but in a "i know that i'm healing" way rather than a "i need to heal" way) and denial,, but starting w growing pains,, my god idk What they did with the mic/vocals after the bridge but it felt like the music was being injected directly into my ears secret direct path 2 my bloodstream god I hadnt felt chills like that in such a long time and idk just the whole Mood of the song having been hurting for so long and only now starting to recognize the damage you've done but also appreciate the progress youv made,,, i have so so many emotions but DENIAL (its funny saying it in caps bc its the only track in lowercase getit getit) oh my god ths going straight on the list of Songs That Make Me Think About My Relationship With My Dad but also Songs That Make Me Emo About All The People I've Grown Apart From and i think its so powerful to frame a personal transition away from faith as growing apart from an old friend and missing them despite any hard feelings holy shit though holy shit . the first listen by this point i had already been emotionally devastated by the Whole Album so i was like ok surely ill get a break by the last song lol nope sorry i ended up crying so hard i think i gave myself a headache

I think I must have yelled about the songs that they released as singles when they dropped individually but it's been so long that i forget what i said but honestly parables and icarian are still just as good as when i heard them for the first time (when parables dropped i spilled my tea on my fucking notes bc i was vibing too hard),, I love parables' msg of accepting the lessons ur (traumatic) past taught u and how it shaped u as a person even if u recognize that that person is someone hurt and in need of healing and maybe that has to happen alone! and i know for a fact i've gushed about icarian (still one of the most gojocore songs Ever imho dont fight me on this) but now looking at it in the context of the rest of the album i love that it's first cause it really frames the whole icarus thing of having flown too close to the sun or to god and getting burned and that pain essentially being the catalyst for the entire Journey tht the rest of the album outlines (obsessed w the fact that the next song is jaded like fr having these two songs one after the other is literally "fucked around/found out" gsfhjsh)

but all that being said not to b dramatic but this album destroyed me it rearranged something deep in my soul and i don't know who i was before it but i probably wont ever be the same :) i literally love these two so much im so appreciative of them its so rare to feel so Seen by a piece of media so to have an entire album hit so incredibly close to home for me and slap while doing so????? i feel so lucky . this entire album feels like taking the first step to address years of hurt and self destruction it feels like losing a friend it feels like finding yourself and i just . i love it so much

[citrussdance]

Cardfight!! Vanguard overDress Unit Lore: 002 “Chakravarthi Divine Dragon, Nirvana”

original jpn found here: https://story.cf-vanguard.com/unit/story002/

The entire world, from every corner of the planet Cray, arrives to wait in great joy and anticipation.

The holy dragon is awakening. It is the beginning of a new era, and the birth of a great many hopes for the future. Now, the sun shines down warmly on us from directly overhead, and a long-lost divinity comes to be on this earth.

O, that magnificent, divine form, soaring through the heavens! The beauty of the ring of light at its back! At long last, our prayers have borne fruit. Behold, the arrival of the “Chakravarthi Divine Dragon” of the shining future--

-

“Rino! Rino, watch out!” Rona yells.

Rino stumbles as her arm is yanked forcefully back. Missing her by an inch, a horse-drawn cart, loaded to the brim with luggage, gallops by. Today, the town of To Lisn is buzzing happily with excitement for the spring festival. The road is busy with people and carts.

“It’s not like you to be so unsteady on your feet.” Zonne straightens out Rino’s men’s clothing. The hand on Rino’s arm doesn’t let go- out of caution, perhaps.

“We’re not walking in open hills and plains like yesterday, so remember to pay more attention to your surroundings, Rino.”

“I’m sorry, I. . .” At Reiyu’s words, Rino realizes that she must have been daydreaming. The sun is directly overhead. At the turn of the hour, it will be noon.

To Lisn is a village in the midwest of the Dragon Empire. For a village along the highway, it is fairly large. Running through the center of the town is a busy road stretching from the imperial capital in the east to Keter Sanctuary in the west. The harbor faces a deep bay that leads to the sea, ideal for the shipping and fishing industries. To the north is the great Dragonia Mountain Range, where the Red Temple of Dawn lies; to the west, a dense forest; and to the east, a mountain range called the “Dragon’s Jaw”. Beyond that is a desert called the “Dangerous Zone” and other diverse lands. At the center of it all, To Lisn is a hub through which many peoples and goods flow.

“I got everyone’s clothes! They’re secondhand, but the quality is good, so don’t worry. Oh, and Egg-kun, wear this canvas.” So saying, Trickstar had handed the girls heavy bags, just that morning.

Rona asks, “You paid for everything properly, right?”

“Of course! I got it a li~ttle discounted, though. Here, I’ll return the change.”

Rino peers at the money. “Wait- it’s just by a bit, but that’s more change than I expected. . . are you sure you didn’t do something weird?”

“Mhmm! I just played ‘four people and one spirit who got separated from its friends’ pretend!”

“So the store owner took pity on you and- ? . . . Good grief.” Reiyu takes the change. She can easily see Trickstar’s eyes filling with tears as it appeals miserably to the store owners.

“Ehe. The man at the store is a really good person, you know.”

“Are you even a spirit, in the first place? Are spirits the kind of beings who casually pop over to the general store to run errands for a human?” Zonne asks. Her tone is suspicious.

“I’ve only just been born onto this planet, you know? There’s no way I could know what kind of creature I am. The only thing I really know is that I wanted to fulfill your wishes, so I manifested. Isn’t that enough?”

The prankster companion who joined Rino, Reiyu, Zonne, and Rona’s party brings smiles to the sighing girls. Trailing behind them, looking like a second Trickstar draped in its white cloth, the Sunrise Egg skips happily.

“By the way, why are we dressed in boys’ clothes?” Rona asked. Like the other girls, her arms are sagging with a bag full of supplies purchased at the town marketplace.

The girls are wearing cloaks that they prepared for their journey, but currently, beneath those are the men’s clothes that Trickstar got for them. If they remove their hairpins, they can be easily taken for four young men.

“This is a lively port city, so I thought that boys’ clothes would be best to help fit in with all the rough sailor men!” 

Its words backfire.

Rino, whose smile can lift the spirits of anyone who sees her; Zonne, who looks better than anyone in boys’ clothes; Rona, with her gentle demeanor; and Reiyu, with her cool appearance all possess outstanding beauty that a mere clothing change can’t hide. That, along with their otherworldly airs- a given, considering they are priestesses of the Red Dawn Temple, said to be the oldest temple on planet Cray- and their two small, white-hooded companions (the Sunrise Egg and Trickstar), make them the talk of the town, no matter how subtle they are.

“Sorry, everyone,” Trickstar says. It seems to be particularly dejected at the fact that it could not help fulfill the Blaze Maidens’ wish- that is, to discover the truth of the world while drawing the least attention possible.

“It’s fine. We’re probably still going to be traveling for a long time, so we’ll do good to have as many fitting clothes as we can find,” Rino comforts. The Sunrise Egg at her feet hops, as if in agreement.

“Thanks, Rino.” A pause. “This is the town square. We’re staying to watch the festival, right?”

Spring festivals can be found anywhere this time of year, and To Lisn is no exception. When the vendors vying for the attention of all the people who gather from the outskirts open shop, the grand scale of the festival can be felt.

“? . . . Hmm?” Suddenly, Rino feels a tug on the hem of her cloak. Looking down, she sees a young girl, about three or four years old, and crouches down to gently say hello. The girl, who seems to be wearing her best dress clothes, remains silent, refusing to let go of Rino.

“Are you alone? Where are your mother and father?” Rona asks.

“She looks like she’s lost. Up you go- do you want some candy?” Zonne casually picks up the girl, who clings tightly to her neck.

Reiyu hums. “With this crowd, there’s no use in trying to call out for her parents- there’s no way they could hear. Let’s wait here.”

The festival seems to have begun with no warning. Already, groups of people have gathered to sing and dance around the square. The girls exchange smiling looks; after all, festivals are the Blaze Maidens’ specialty. Of course, the familiarity would lift their spirits.

Just then--

Above the swelling clamor of the festival, a distinctly different sound could be heard.

“?! . . . What could that be. . . ?” At Rino’s voice, the entire crowd turns to look at the southern tip of the square. There seems to be an argument over stolen luggage.

“A fight. . . ?” Rona wonders.

No, not a fight, the Blaze Maidens soon realize. A tall man wearing a blue cloak is ordering his servants to forcefully seize the belongings of a married couple. Already, a fight is brewing around them.

“Papa! Mama!” The little girl calls out from Zonne’s shoulder.

“Eh- ?! Those are your parents?” Zonne asks.

Seeing the girl’s teary face, Rino suddenly heard the voice of her unspoken wish- “please, save them!”- echoing in her head.

The thieves are using brute force to beat and kick the girl’s parents. Sparkling gems spill from the stolen bags. Perhaps the girl’s family deals in precious gems? Either way, there is no excuse for mugging someone like that.

An unstoppable hot feeling rises from the pit of Rino’s stomach- not quite anger, but a different, inexplicable impulse. 

Suddenly, Rino is running into the crowd. All at once, a huge roar sweeps the crowd. The girls hear the faint sound of screaming from somewhere behind them.

“. . . Rino! Rino! Listen, Rino!”

Ignoring them, Rino steadily crosses the far distance between her and the girl’s parents.

There is someone screaming close by her ear.

“C’mon, listen to me! It’s me! It’s Trickstar!”

Rino abruptly pauses, her hands that had been desperately pushing through the crowd stilling. For her, who had always been the most conscious of others out of the maidens, her actions are clearly out of character.

Right above her head, Trickstar floats, its white hooded cloak cutting a clear silhouette. On its back is the Sunrise Egg. Its covering cloth, which Trickstar took pains to find, has already been blown off somewhere.

“Here, I’ll lend you my power. Try praying for what you want to do.”

“A prayer?”

“Mhmm. You’re a priestess, right? Haven’t you always been listening to others’ wishes, and praying for them to come true?”

“Yes. . . but if I don’t hurry. . . !”

“Rino, trust me!” The girl looks up in surprise at hearing such a strong and serious voice from Trickstar for the first time.

She understands. Even while jostled around by the sea of people, on the verge of being crushed, she joins her hands in prayer.

I want to protect that girl’s mother and father. I want to make that girl smile.

She wished for them to be saved, after all. . . please, I beg- !

The next moment, Rino’s body suddenly becomes as light as the wind. The crowd around her gasps in surprise as she flies up, carried high by extremely strong and solid arms.

“Hey, Rino. That was a good prayer. Let me grant your wish.”

The voice, coming from above her head, sounds both like Trickstar, and completely different at the same time.

Looking up, Rino sees a large humanoid figure with winglike equipment. “Are you Trickstar. . . ?”

“I’m Vairina- that’s the name that just came to mind. But I can explain later- here we go!”

Vairina crosses the entire town square in one leap and sends the thieving servants flying with one hand, the other holding Rino securely. Once she has secured the Sunrise Egg that had been carried on Vairina’s back, Rino approaches the blue-cloaked man. The man is standing on top of a blue tent-like structure that juts out jarringly from the ground. Behind Rino, Vairina crosses its arms, a sign that it is protecting her- a comforting sight indeed.

“Taking someone else’s things without a proper reason is a crime. Return those to their proper owners immediately!”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m just borrowing them. Of course, I’m not gonna return them. . . wait, you’re a girl, aren’t you?”

Rino flushes and straightens her clothes. After being jostled around by the crowd and then taking off into the sky with Vairina, the neckline of her shirt has fallen a little loose. Bitter anger rises from deep within her as the man waves the bag of gems in her face, laughing at her disarray.

Enveloping her hands, her feet, her hair, and even her slim body, the flames of emotion within her flicker to life before her eyes.

“Flame magic. . . ?! Some poor little village girl like you. . . ?!”

“That’s right! With these flames, I will purify your wicked heart. . . !”

The dance of the Blaze Maidens is meant to glorify the sun and offer praise to the holy dragon, but is also a difficult art designed to manifest the flames of life burning within the maidens’ bodies, polished through strict training. The Blaze Maiden Rino, using her entire body to conduct the flames, releases all of her power in the form of great flames at the man in the blue cloak.

“I won’t let you!” The man leaps nimbly back behind a large “thing” that rises to stand between him and Rino. The tentlike thing behind the man is actually a dragon. “Shield me, Recusal Hate Dragon!”

Rino’s flames collide with the dragon and are extinguished.

Recusal Hate Dragon roars, and the festivalgoers scream in terror.

“Ugh. . . !”

“Come, did you not say you would purify my wicked heart? What’s wrong?” The man laughs again. However, Rino is not bitter out of shame- rather, she curses herself for her carelessness.

Recusal Hate Dragon is immune to magic. In order to defeat it, one must use overwhelming force beyond its own, or use some other power to sneak past its defenses.

With the others here, perhaps. . . no, it’s impossible. I’m far away from the other maidens. . . I’m the one who left them to rush here all by myself, aren’t I?

Rino is weak- for now.

Even though she is weak, she has drawn the anger of the man who commands the dragon. As one of the Blaze Maidens, who are supposed to protect the holy dragon’s egg, this predicament is her first failure- and a big one, at that.

“You see- those measly flames cannot defeat me.” Rino knows she has lost- the man is only rubbing salt into the wound.

“No, she can do it. The Blaze Maiden Rino will change everyone’s hopes into power- I know she can.” Vairina’s words are comforting.

“How insolent. I’ll take care of you all at once. . . hmph!” At the blue-cloaked man’s signal, his underlings stand back up, at the ready.

Leave!

A voice that can’t possibly belong to any of the crowd stuffed into the area rings out.

Don’t ruin our festival! Go back to where you came from, you villain! You can do it, miss Maiden! The feelings of all the people gathered at the square lift Rino’s spirits.

And before Rino’s very eyes, the Sunrise Egg stands- as if saying that it is its turn to protect her, instead.

“Sunrise Egg. . . Lord Holy Dragon. . . ?”

As if to reassure Rino’s unsure mumbling, Vairina’s voice thunders through the square.

“Now, pray, Rino! That’s what a priestess does- right?”

Trickstar’s- Vairina’s- voice reaches Rino, and she prays- this time, not in anger, but in a plea to transform the feelings of everyone gathered into the strength to fulfill their wishes.

Once again, flames flicker to life, swirling in a great maelstrom around Rino’s body.

“And I will grant that wish!”

Behind Rino, Vairina, wrapped in a whirlwind, launches itself at Recusal Hate Dragon. With the dragon’s roaring jaw seized in its hand, Vairina twists nimbly in midair, throwing it up and then immediately down in the blink of an eye. Recusal Hate is slammed into the dirt, facing the sky, the mighty impact shaking the very earth and cobblestones it lies on. At the slightest sign of resistance, Vairina presses its knee into its stomach and the edge of its palm to its throat. For some reason, it knows that the dragon’s weak points are its particularly soft stomach and throat. Recusal Hate Dragon lets out an empty, weak growl and falls unconscious, its strength drained.

“I won’t stand for this! Who are you? With what power have you dared to defeat me?!”

“Didn’t I already say? The power of righteous prayers and everyone’s wishes will defeat evil- like this.” With one sweep of Vairina’s large hand, the blue-cloaked man and his subordinates- both already losing the will to fight- are pushed to the ground and bound securely using the ropes from various festival booths. The crowd, who had been holding its breath watching the fight, now begins to cheer in relief and joy.

“Thank you, Vairina.” Still dazed, Rino thanks her new friend. At her words, pop- ! Vairina reverts back to the form of Trickstar.

“You’re welcome. That’s all solved for now- !”

The Sunrise Egg stands in front of a still-kneeling Rino. “You’ve worked hard, too.”

Rino stretches out a hand, as if to thank it. The action must please the egg, for it almost seems to sparkle, faintly. Then--

Just once, Rino sees it, and feels it-

the cheering crowd; the little girl, reunited with her parents; the other Maidens, running over with luggage in their arms; and-

the being before her, no longer an egg.

-

O, that magnificent, divine form, soaring through the heavens! The beauty of the ring of light at its back! At long last, our prayers have borne fruit. Behold, the arrival of the “Chakravarthi Divine Dragon” of the shining future--

-

“Rino. . . ! Come on, you’re staring into space again. . .” Rona whines.

Rino is still on her knees, her eyes closed. Her body trembles uncontrollably with emotion, and her hands, folded in prayer, stretch out-

-only to bump into the head of the Sunrise Egg.

“Eh? Huh. . . ?” Rino shakes herself back to the present. Was what she saw an illusion? It seems only she was able to see it. . .

“Here, your things. Oh, and we took the little girl back to her parents, so don’t worry.”

Rino already knows this.

Reiyu sighs gently. “We can’t stay here for much longer, Rino. Our journey to find the truth of the world without standing out too much has already been derailed enough.”

“This festival turned out to be pretty fun, hm?” Trickstar grins.

“You got far too carried away, Trickstar.”

“Sorryyyy. . .” Trickstar pouts.

“-Well, we should at least thank Trickstar for saving Rino.” At Reiyu’s rare praise, Trickstar and- for some reason- the Sunrise Egg jump up and down in excitement.

“Ehe. Let’s go on, then- on our journey of adventure and prayers!” Trickstar takes the lead, running towards the gates of the town. “Come on, follow me! Hurry!”

Rino, hefting her things, runs after it with the other Maidens following close behind.

The townspeople they are leaving behind will pass down the legend of four nameless priestesses in boys’ clothing, the Sunrise Egg, and Trickstar-turned-Vairina for generations to come.

The sun finally sets, bathing the town of To Lisn in the gentle rays of the spring afternoon.

[roxiusagi]

just wanted to ramble for a bit thats all, cheerio and goodnigt

♪ゝ(´▽｀ゝ ) ♪

ok so, im not making this with the intention to actually do something about it or bully the person in question, it was probably just some kid with no ill will.

im jus t really baffled and i n e e d to share this with someone ok hahh

so @/aroaceacacia and a few other people are doing this super cool project and basically are just trying to sort reposted hermitcraft art on pinterest to boards with the original artist names on them.

and so because i know i have a few of my own art there i went to check if by chance i have a board as well :)

so im scrolling and instead i find a board with a reddit boio and only one art in it and hmmmm WeLL ThaTs PecuLiAr THaT WiZaRD CHap LoOkS AWfuLLy FaMiLiAr :)))

and that's how I found out that 347 days ago someone redrew part of my moredoor art and put it on reddit and claimed it as theirs hsjakdhsd (their sister's actually but that's details)

someone: *redraws it unchanged except for turning 4 fingers to 5*

me: "and I took that personally." whats wrong with 4 fight m-

and yea its year old so idc and don't want to do anything about the post but lisn i just really needed to talk dis caught me so off guard lmao

[dynamitekrp]

SEARCHING FOR DAWN . . .

PUBLIC PROFILE

birthday: april 3, 1995 years trained: 5 position: lead vocal

CAREER

2017 king of masked singer appearance, “whale hunting” cover 2018 what’s wrong with secretary kim ost, just a little bit more  2019 the crowned clown ost, tell me  2019 pepsi commercial collab “blossom” 2020 hidden singer, panelist (current, multi episode)

IMAGE

when puzzle debuts, dawon gets a new name. alongside it, she gets a new self. it feels like her stage outfits - ill fitting and poorly suited to her. the polished, youthful elegance of their concept is painted overtop a girl more familiar with bike shorts and skinned knees than lip gloss and tennis skirts. it’s not that she doesn’t look the part. after all the styling, of course she does. she can fake it too - smiles sweetly and brightly on stage, easily enough sacrifices her dignity for aegyo. but it never feels right, never fits. she fidgets against the constraints every so often, pushing at the envelop here and there. 

years pass and her image matures- ostensibly, it grows along with her growth, but even this in itself is a lie. she’s heard somewhere that you end up frozen emotionally at the point at which you became famous, and at least for herself she wonders if this isn’t true. so much of her still feels like she did back then. overeager, brash, over enthusiastic, entirely too desperate to be loved and to feel certain in that love. she’s chasing a high each day that passes, seeking validation in the eyes and on the lips of strangers. 

it’s a catch twenty two, to be loved as dawn and to know that dawn is loved, and to know also and irrevocably that she is not dawn, that she is something wilder and less polished. she hides behind a facade of quiet elegance to disguise the fact that she says the wrong thing at the wrong times, sticks her foot in her mouth as much as anyone - more even. they play up an elegant actress beauty and she hides inside it like a cloak, loved for this image of someone with a mysterious charm. the reality of dawon is much less impressive, an awkward girl who had never been given time or opportunity to grow into herself, a duckling struggling to find her footing, not yet the swan that lisn would claim her to be.

in time, dawn flourishes.  she becomes used to the cameras. a late bloomer, maybe, she grows into the name, that fresh and soft brightness, that promising youthfulness. she’s all the energy of a brand new day and all the softness of early morning bird song. she’s quippy and bright and she learns to strike the balance between funny enough to get air time and so over the top that it’s going too far. dawn does better and better, growing into her costume after all these years. her voice trains up, becomes fuller and more even, stable and clear. she becomes more marketable, more recognizable, and in turn more sought after. 

as for dawon, no one thinks all that much of  her. 

BACKGROUND

picture this: you’re fourteen years old, with skinned knees and a grass stained tennis skirt, bike shorts underneath. your bike itself is at home - you took the bus here, skateboard under your arm. now, it rolls beneath your feet, a clatter-bump over the asphalt as wind rushes through your hair. there isn’t an anime-protagonist character bandaid on your cheek to cover a cut, but there is a scrape half scabbed, hidden on your temple, and when you brush your hair tonight (five quick sweeps that rip through your hair before you tumble onto rumpled sheets) you’ll probably pull the rest off, leaving a smear of blood. your t-shirt is your older brother’s and it’s two big, three seasons too old to be cool. 

but you’re happy. wind burns your cheeks and whips through your hair. you can smell the sunlight as it beats down against the pavement, refracting off the delicate, fractal waves of the han, stretching out beside you. 

the world feels like it could still mean something, like you could have a purpose here. 

it’s that feeling so many young adults have, the feeling of being a protagonist, someone who might have a reason to be alive, rather than simply living as part of cosmic circumstance. as if you might matter. 

this feeling of self importance is naive. 

this hopeful and passionate worldview is dangerous.

it makes you out to be more than you are. 

this is the picture of jung dawon when she is first approached, in her hometown of seoul, at a skate park along the side of the river, by a casting agent for view entertainment. she’s never had a reason not to believe in something better for herself. she’s a child born into positive enough circumstance - a single mother, widowed, by a man she remembers in shadows and the warm impression of his voice. an older brother, doting but overbearing, who looks out for her. she gets decent grades at school, she has a cluster of equally well meaning but underperforming friends, and life is good. youth stretches before her like an endless summer day, with all the promise in the world. 

so when they tell her she’s beautiful, that she’s graceful, and has she tried dancing? can she sing, at all? when she confidently replies “in the shower, sure” with all the wit of a fourteen year old girl and when they laugh nicely along with the joke, it seems like a fairy tale. and that fairy tale seems like her birthright.

she’s always felt different, she tells herself as she skates home, wind rushing past her ears. she’s always known she was meant for something different, something better. this is it, she thinks, holding the business card in her hand that night, under the shadowed canopy of a mosquito net, a not-quite decoration for a not-quite princess. this changes everything. 

and, honestly, it does. 

view entertainment accepts her with open arms and her training begins. what seems promising at first becomes gruelling, what seems like a bright future turns dark, and scandal blots out the time she’s spent clawing her way forward with the company. in the end, she’s traded to lisn like an old toy, a hand me down dress passed on to the next in line. 

lisn trainees resent her, she thinks, resent the two of them, for coming in late to the game, for sweeping into the lineup. so what, they’ve had more time to train. they weren’t even cast by the company, not formally. this is where the imposter syndrome begins. lisn had clearly been seeking out a certain kind of girl - delicate and lovely, strong and elegant. dawon would not describe herself as any of these things, though not for lack of trying. if she’s not dancing or skating she might as well be falling on her face, and she loses her glasses almost as much as she loses her phone. she’s a disaster on two legs, she has trouble making friends, and half the time she’s too cooped up in her dorm or in the practice room to try. 

debut is hard. 

they tell her it will be hard, but it’s worse than she had ever imagined. it’s exhausting right out of the gate- even before that, starting with the diet they put them on to get them slimmed down for the music video, and dawon is lightheaded and spiralling off stage. no one cares, of course - they all are. she starts to wonder if she’d ever even really wanted this at all, if this had been a good plan. 

but it’s too late to turn back now, she’s got seven years on her contract and a world of performing and struggling ahead of her. time is kind to puzzle. debut goes well and things only look up after that. slowly, dawon settles into dawn. for awhile, she loses herself. it’s a blur of days, of practice, of obsessively reading every comment she can find about them, about her. it’s vocal training until she’s raw and ragged, it’s dancing until her knees lock up, it’s dragging herself from schedule to schedule until she’s on an iv drip. 

time passes, and she grows. she bears up under the pressure with a resolute and stubborn tenacity. she claws herself up after each set back and oh, there are many. she dedicates herself to her group, to her image, to her lies. to the picture of a girl like the dawn, dew fresh and blue skies clear. soft sunlight and the distant, abating mist. the buyout is sudden, for her, so tunnel vision focused on the present that she barely thinks of the future, hanging on from one day to the next. going back to view should feel like a triumphant return, but all she can remember is how these halls had once held so much hope for her, of how different the world had been back then. brighter, warmer, clearer. the future had seemed so simple. work hard and then succeed - how could she have imagined such a simple world to be true? it had been the story told her at bed time and by teachers, that anyone can succeed with effort, that she was special, that she was meant for great things. but now, in upheaval and uncertainty, dawon knows that no one was meant for anything. dawon knows, most of all, that she knows nothing. staring, aching-limbed and exhausted at the darkness of the ceiling, she can’t help but wonder. 

had she really wanted this? had she known, back then when she’d signed her youth away, what she wanted at all? 

[so-very-small]

the off colours (Steven Universe)

NICELars1: sexuality headcanon: biii2: otp: Lars/Sadie3: brotp: him and the Cool Kids, but also him and the off colors4: notp: mmm not sure?5: first headcanon that pops into my head: makes a real mean meringue, and has been maintaining a sourdough starter since he was 96: one way in which I relate to this character: BAKING IS LIFEA7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: where 2 begin like. boi8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? problematiqué9: bonus g/t headcanon: he'd make a FANTASTIC minigiantFluorite1: sexuality headcanon: pan2: otp: themselves3: brotp: the off colors BUT she'd be such good besties with Garnet omg4: notp: i dunno5: first headcanon that pops into my head: if they ever unfuse its SUPER weird for em and everything is too loud and fast. they cant stay unfused for long6: one way in which I relate to this character: everyone calls me an old lady does that count7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: nothing theyre perfect8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: cinnamon roll9: bonus g/t headcanon: itty bitty cattapilar fluorite /imagine/Padparadscha1: sexuality headcanon: ace af2: otp: EYEBALL. GIV EYEBALL REDEMPTION AND A GF3: brotp: let her and saffy be friends!!!4: notp: uh not sure5: first headcanon that pops into my head: she LOVES strawberries when she gets to earth. lars makes her a strawberry shortcake. she loses it. 6: one way in which I relate to this character: kinda ditzy and also the 'psychic but sucks at it thing' a little7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: nothin8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? CINNAMON9: bonus g/t headcanon: the purest smol. chills in garnets pocket. or in lars's hair. so good. Rutile Twins1: sexuality headcanon: lesbians2: otp: i like them dating Jenny and Kiki its adorable3: brotp: the cool kids4: notp: each other i hav seen too many dark things5: first headcanon that pops into my head: they both cry over puppies but hamsters are their favorite6: one way in which I relate to this character: not sure7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: lisn at this oiint its obvs i just dont get second hand embarassment much lmao8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? both9: bonus g/t headcanon: S.M.O.L. best borrowers ever. Rhodonite1: sexuality headcanon: l e s b i a n2: otp: herself3: brotp: GARNET and also peri4: notp: everyon, let thm be lesbians in peace5: first headcanon that pops into my head: the first time she sees the ocean she cries bc she loves it so much. shes just very teary in general. over everything its so cute6: one way in which I relate to this character: anxious wreck. also in a relationship that could get them into trouble (beinrg Gay is interesting lets just leave it therre)7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: nothin8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? CINNAMON ROLL9: bonus g/t headcanon: make her BIG shed be so anxious and worried abt all her small off colors poor bby

[juhnhee-remade]

♥♥♥

[♥ for a compliment]

helo ok lisn…. you are. So Good at brainstorming n coming up with cool ideas and knowing what a story needs? your original prompts are so cool too ?? like so creative and artsy and i really can’t wait until you publish your writing ???

also you’re so nice to talk to in general bc you’re Enthusiastic abt things n also !! ur language skills are really great bc like imo you know German rly well n i could never tbh how do u do it

so uhhh 10/10 Good Quality Person mayhaps keep up the good work n get better soon u deserve better health

[conspiracieys-archive]

@pastelnuva replied to your post: im abt to hit 200 followers on the mag7 blog and...

#like… first prize winner gets… art from one of my Art Friends and maybe a oneshot by me If you do plan on trying that, I can help out with that :0

lisn if i hit the milestone, i will def ask u like?? it would b cool and there r details 2 work out and it would be just?? rly awesome ;__; esp bc i love ur art. i have. so many ideas for prizes and stuff aND I JSUT. YES. soon. im literally 9 followers away from hitting 200 on there but i dont wanna jump the gun just yet u feel

[chaoticdisater]

if you ever want to know my character just know i have a play list on spotify called ‘my indie nightmare’ that has the tag line ‘i think im cool for lisning to this - i most defeniyl am not,’ and most of the music on said playlist isn't considered indie, I just don’t understand music genuras

[meganiumgender]

(la) yesssss it's so good and so relaxing I got way too good at the fishing game lol I still need to try out all the new different types of farms that have been introduced they all seem so cool and oh yea I know it's actually unreal he done it all by himself so I don't mind waiting for the updates it was more that the mutliplayer was being debuted on the switch first that made me blah but it apparently it's not anymore?? i need to get people to play it with me whenever it does tho

please same

i only have it on desktop but lisn lad if u got it on computer n ever wanna play once it does come out hmu bc i L O V E that shit sooooo much