#but like. this is just another p3 game to the pile. man. sorry to be a hater. but i am hating.

[bobzora]

happy international women's day

[the-fiction-witch]

I Hate You P3

TV SHOW: THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE: BENNY X READER RATING: SEXY 

I groaned as I woke up seeing the bright light cascading from the windows and door, Loud music coming from the other room, I groaned sitting up rubbing my eyes. I slipped my robe over my shoulders going out to the rest of the apartment seeing y/n stood at the oven making pancakes, her hair in rollers, in a little blue sleeveless dress slightly dancing to the record player.

"Morning" I groaned

"Morning Husband!" she smiled "Coffee?"

"Uhhh yeah sure"

"Here you go" she smiled handing me a cup of coffee

"Aww thank you wifey" I smiled giving her a kiss "why are all the lights and the music on?"

"Because this is the time I get up benny. Get used to it"

"Fine, see how long you can keep this up when I don't go to bed till like three Am"

"fine, have your coffee darling"

"I shall" I nodded having a sip of my coffee but it tasted terrible, "Ughh! what is this!"

"I made you coffee darling" she smiled

"what did you do to this coffee? what was the exact steps in you making it"

"Coffee powder, milk, Water"

"Okay..."

"I did however use Almond Milk"

"Ughhhhhhhh...." I relused almost being sick "Okay. Thank you dear" I sighed tipping the coffee down the sick "I'm going for a shower"

"Ohh you might want to wait, I used up all the hot water" she smiled "sorry darling"

".... Its fine dear" I sighed starting up the shower and it was a cold as ice, "I'm gonna use your shampoo okay hun I'm out of mine" I told her as I climbed in the shower

"No! benny! it's mine use your own!"

"what's yours is mine darling"

"Fine, Ohh by the way I used your razor to shave my legs"

"... You know what that's not a problem, I wasn't planning on shaving,"

"You should"

"Should I?"

"It would make your wife happy"

"so would a divorce and I'm not giving you that either"

"I'll wax it in your sleep"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Wouldn't I Benny?" she smiled as she did her hair "Ohh I'm having some friends over later by the way"

".... fine. Then I'm having the boys over tomorrow" I told her as I climbed out my shower I smirked and dried off then threw my towel on the floor and wrapped my robe around me she seemed annoyed with me already "Feel free to leave me wifey, It's only going to get worse"

"Ohh is it now? well I'm going to stay put, I know I can last longer then you"

"why so sure darling?"

"Ohh I'm two days out from my period benny. You ready for it?"

"are you now? How about I start getting really into Diy projects that I will never complete"

"How about I get really into cooking and constantly make terrible foods"

"I'm never buying a dish washer"

"I'm gonna get a cat"

"I swear to go I will stat having chess themed orgies in this house, with or without your participation"

"I going to take a female lover"

".... Actually I'm fine with that. In fact I'd be slightly into it" I shrug "I will..."

"You'll what?"

"I will get you so fucking pregnant, you'll give birth to fucking twins or worse"

"My god do I hate you"

"I hate you too" I smiled pulling her to kiss me she resisted at first but happily kissed me back wrapping her arms around me tightly

"You'd be into me having a side girlfriend?"

"Kinda yeah? If you'll let me watch"

"You're disgusting" she sighed going to the bedroom

"what! It's hot!" I complain following her but she threw my jeans at me

"Put pants on!"

"My house! I can walk around naked if I want"

".... Damn it I can't you'll enjoy it"

"I will" I nodded "Infact could you, like seriously. that would be very very nice wifey" I smirked cuddling her from behind

"Hands off unless your going to fuck me benny," she laughs pushing me off her "Can't try this sugar sweet before you buy" she smirked playing with her hair and shaking her ass at me so much her dress physically moved from side to side with her shaking

"I thought I had bought it. considering... we are married."

"Don't you poke holes in my sexy analogy"

"Maybe I would have had sex with you if you'd given me a minuet"

"Nope! dwindling to none existent sex life. Welcome to married like benny watts"

"Our sex life is not dwindling if I have anything to say about it"

"Who said you did?"

"Our sex life is not going anywhere" I smirked grabbing her pulling her to my chest and grabbing her ass "Not at least till give got you pregnant y/n"

"You are never getting me pregnant"

"Aren't I?" I smirked "Just you try and stop me"

"Even if you do I'll make sure there all girls, all hate chess and want nothing to do with there father"

"You have no control about that honey, I do remember. so I'll make sure there all chess playing, messy, dirty little boys who all look just like me"

"I hate you"

"I hate you too" I smiled pulling her to kiss me.

I sat at the table working on my next book, Y/n came in bringing the last two crates of beer in she had borrowed my car or well she took my keys without telling me she was getting beer in for her 'freinds' she had visiting tonight,

"who have you got coming tonight anyway?"

"My friends"

"what friends?"

"My poker friends"

"I thought you poker friends was luke and everyone?"

"Ehh some of them yes"

"You have other friends?"

"I assume you have other friends then just lukes and your chess guys?"

".... I do not"

"Ohh. Well I do" she shrugs taking the beer to the kitchen i tried to take one but she slapped my hand "Not for you"

"Owww..." I complained "How many people are coming then?"

"A few"

"A few?"

"Just some poker friends, some biker friends, and Dan he's my bestie"

"Is he now?"

"will you just chill. also pack your chess board away unless you want it broken"

"why?"

"Because It'll get broken if you leave it there" she laughs

"I am growing more and more concerned about your friends"

"Yeah and I've been concerned about yours since I met them"

"Have you?"

"The boys are weird"

".... I'll give you that" I sighed

"Benny?"

"Yeah?" I sighed as I put my board away

"I don't like your clothes."

"You have mentioned that many times y/n"

"what! you do dress like a cowboy porn star!"

"Okay the cowboy I get where are you getting porn star?"

"The weird caterpillar you keep above your mouth"

"You love it" I smirked as I put it away

"But seriously benny I don't like your clothes"

"Okay?"

"Take them off"

"...Ohh" I laughed "Something you wanted wifey?" I smirked leaning on the kitchen counter beside her

"Nope just wanted to make you hard so I can abandon you" she smirked groping my dick though my jeans and then walking off

"You are evil"

"yep" she smiled as the door knocked "Get the door please husband"

"Yes wifey" I sighed going to the door as it was pounding by now, I opened it and almost gulped seeing the gang of tall, muscular, burley, heavily tattooed, leather jacket wearing men with bags and boxes of beer. "Uuuuuhhhh Hello" I smiled

"Y/n?"

"Uhh Yes, that uh that's uhh she's over there" I told them letting them all in,

"Ahhh my boys!" she smiled hugging them each tightly, once they where all inside I shut the door as they opened the first box of beer, My god she's turn my flat into a biker bar.

"y/n? are they going to kill me?" I whispered to her

"Maybe if you piss them off. wouldn't be the first time" she smiled as she walked off to chat with some others

"Wait- what? what do you mean wouldn't be the first time?" I asked her "Y/n? Y/n? Don't leave me alone" I whined following her carefully

"Benny watts are you scared?"

"Yes! this is little the first time in my life I'm NOT the most insane man in the room." I told her "I know I like to stick out but this... this is in a way I don't like"

"Boys?" she called making them all silence and look at us "Don't murder my husband...." she smiled

"That's it?"

"Don't murder my husband... Please?"

some nodded but most just returned to their conversations, their beer's or other such things, Y/n walked off to put some of her records on, and helped out one of the guys with something.

I mostly just sat at the table trying not to get in the way as my apartment was full of these... well biker guys, The smell of cigarette smoke wafting across the air, as well as the smell of beer, motorbike oil, and cannabis. The empty pile of cans and bottles of beer piling high by the door, The rock music blaring, men shouting and swearing at each other. Some guys arm wrestling others betting on it, spilling beer across the side, another group was doing something with vodka shots I wasn't sure, Y/n had helped one guy set up all the cushions on the floor like a bed and he had a little... let's call it improvised tattoo machine and sat cross legged smoking something as he did tattoo's on other guys, often he would pass the cigarette to y/n as she went around gathering empty bottles, checking on various things. as much as it wasn't my scene I loved how... she's kinda the queen of this shit, on anything she had the final word, on beer's, on who won games, everything went though her.

"Come on Baby? where's my sugar?" One guy asked sitting in the leather chair trying to pull her onto his lap

"Oi! hand's off Pete, ladies busy" she argues pushing his hands off her

"Besides, little ladies married now" Another guy spoke up from the table

"Yeah, how'd that little weasel get his hands on my baby?" He smirked more to y/n then anyone else

"Reasons" she smirked winking to me,

"Hey? Watts right?" he asked to me

"Yeah" I nodded

"You party?" he asks offering me a cigarette

"Uhhh no. No thanks"

"Whatever, fun little hubby you got y/n" He smirked pulling her onto his lap

"He's fun" she smirked getting off his lap "sometimes" she smiled as she walked past giving my cheek a kiss

"Y/n? your up" The guy called as he finished up the last guys tattoo

"wait your getting another tattoo?" I asked her

"No just touching up mine" she smiled "You wanna come hold my hand benny?" she whines playfully

"Alright" I smiled holding her hand so she dragged me over she laid on the pillows as this guy looked her tattoo over. He was taller then me, muscular and toned, Tattoo's covering every inch of his body, he was shirtless with only a pair of jeans and some suspenders, he sat cross legged on the cushion as he cleaned his needles and got some ink ready in a little glass dish "Y/n are you sure this is... sanitary on our floor?"

"Our floor's cleaner then the shop I got this done in" she laughs tapping the ottoman so I sat on it and took her hand "I don't really need you, I did it last time with just a lollipop and a foul mouth" she laughs "But... give you practice" she winks

"We good?" He asked her and she nodded and he started, it was only fascinating to see him touching up the colours and lines of her dragon even if at times it felt like she was going to break my hand till he took a break to change the colour or needle I don't know,

"fucking hell" I complain shaking my hand where it had gone numb

"Ohh this is nothing wait till I have a baby"

"Hell no, I'm waiting in the husband room with a paper"

"No your not your going to hold my hand that or stare at the human forcing its way out of me. either way" she smirked

"That is if you have a baby?"

"Like your not gonna get me pregnant" she smiled giving my lips a sweet kiss

"I might" I winked

"You don't I will" That Pete guy smirked

"You're done" The guy told her and she smiled sitting up

"You're turn"

"what? no way!"

"Awww what's the matter benny? You scared?" she smirked "I knew you wouldn't" she giggled as she got up "Guess I have a better pain tolerance then you,"

"I could sit though it y/n. I just don't... want anything"

"I bet you can't"

"I bet I can"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Put your money where your mouth is then watts." she smirked the room going quiet

"Yeah? Okay. If I do it you have to stop this stupid competing." I told her and she seemed shocked "we call the bets off, all of them"

"and what would we do about... everything?"

"I get to give in. and stay married to you. as long as I want"

"Humm found of your wifey now are you watts?" she smirked wrapping her arms around my neck

"I am. no more fighting, No more dares. and you stay my wife" I told her wrapping my arms around her waist

"And if you can't do it? If your chicken out?"

"Then we call our bet off and you win. you can leave me"

"Hummm... Okay" she smiled "But I pick what you get"

"Deal" I sighed

she smirked and pulled me to heavily kiss her, I happily kissed her back tightening my grip on her, I could hear the guys wolf whistling at us till she pulled away "Get cosy Benny" she smirked running to the table getting a bit of paper,

I breathed and laid on the cushions trying to get comfy staring at my celling while my head screamed at me

'Helloo! Earth to benny's rational mind what the fuck are we doing! why do we agree to this! She's gonna tattoo a dick on me isn't she?'

"You done this before?" The guy asked me

"Nope"

"I aint gonna lie to ya man, It's gonna fuckin' hurt"

"Yeah... I know"

"Ankle, under 15." y/n smiled handing this guy a bit of paper but I didn't see what it was on it "Get him on the bone"

"You're intentionally making this hurt aren't you?"

"Ohh relax benny, My first tattoo was my ankle"

"It was? so... it's an easy first place then?" I asked as she came over getting comfy with me

"Ohhh noo. I screamed" she smirked rubbing on my shoulders

"Thanks."

"don't move. Or It'll take longer. and hurt more" he told me

"Great" I sighed

"Ohh relax I'm not that evil to you benny"

".... we got married out of spite of course your fucking evil to me" I said starting to panic as he moved my jeans up 'ohh fuck oh fuck this is getting real, this is getting real, it's not to late I can get out of this'

"Yeah," she laughs giving me a cuddle "I hate you"

"I hate you too" I told her and as I did I felt the scratchy pain across my ankle "ahhh fuck!"

I blocked it out or at least tried to, Mostly just laid there with my hands over my eyes narwing on the inside of my mouth as y/n cuddled me and sometimes gave me kisses often going here and there to do other things as people began to leave to head home every so often i felt him drag something across my skin wiping away

"what uhhh what are you wiping?" I asked trying to focus on something other then the pain

"Ink." He says "and blood"

"I shouldn't have asked" I sighed

"Almost done" He says

"Is it normal to feel sick?"

"You're probably just low on sugar" Y/n laughs "You should have eaten something"

"Yeah well... waiting for my wife to make me dinner"

"Make him his dinner y/n" Pete Laughed as he had now came close to watch my pain sitting on the rug even if I did notice him ever so often ogling y/n

"Benny make y/n her dinner" Y/n giggled

"I would by my wife insisted I get my ankle amputated" I sighed

"Ohh grow up your getting a single line tattoo under fifteen centimetres. Not like I made you get my dragon" she laughs

"How long did your dragon take?"

"six hours in two three hour blocks one for line work and one for colouring" The guy smirked as he worked

"How much did that cost?" I asked

"Two crates of beer, fifty bucks and a free fuck with my friend Lina" she laughs

"How much is this?" I asked

"The beer and the cigarette I've had tonight" He shrugs "And your done"

"I'm done?"

"All finished man. you feel alright?" he asks as I sat up

"I feel like I'm going to faint or hurl"

"Go lay down benny," y/n smiled helping me up even if I couldn't put weight on my ankle instantly falling into her arms "whoa. Okay to bed Mr watts right now" she laughs helping me to our room and instantly she tucked me into bed "You get some rest okay sleep tight" she smiles kissing my head before going back to the living room leaving the door open a crack

"Back in a sec y/n I gotta clean up" The tattoo guy said as he headed to the bathroom

"Sure dan" she waves

'ooohh so that's dan"

I tried not to focus on the aching and throbbing pain on my ankle trying to get to sleep

"so? can I have a little sugar now baby?" Pete asked

"Pete knock it off. How many times I'm not into that anymore"

"what? seriously? but your my little biker baby?"

"Yeah well Not anymore"

"What? Because you got married in Vegas your actually going though with this shit? you got drunk and hooked up so what divorce him and lets get back to our sugar?"

"Pete, Look I'm serious. I'm married now"

"You can't really be staying with this little weasel"

"I am." she smiled "I Like being a wife, I like a lot of things about it but... I'm happy,"

I smiled a little and quickly fell asleep.

I groaned as I woke up my ankle still aching but I felt y/n cuddled up with me "Ummm good morning wifey" I smirked holding her close

"Ummmm hello Husband" she smiled cuddling me tighter "How are you feeling?"

"Better, now I have you"

"Yeah me too" she smiled kissing me softly I smirked and pulled her closer kissing her back being careful of her fresh tattoo

"so... we're married. and not looking for a divorce."

"Nope. Unless you like.. I don't know cheat on me or anything like that" she laughs "but other then that. I'm happy"

"Yeah, I'm happy too y/n" I smiled "We're happily married my darling"

"Very happy" she smiled "coffee?"

"Yes please my sweet wife" I told her and she smiled getting up and tugging me along with her, to the kitchen, I smiled wrapping my arms around her nuzzling into her neck as she made coffee, "We're really... not competing anymore? you're happy to stay married to me?"

"Very happy benny," she smiled turning to give me a kiss "For as long as you are"

"I heard... you and pete last night?"

"Did you now?"

"did you and him?"

"Once. Yeah, well you heard last night don't you trust me?"

"I trust you, Even if I hate you"

"Yeah I hate you too" she laughs "Do you like it?" she asks as she turned to face me

"Like what?"

"You're ankle?"

"Ohh. I haven't really seen it yet"

"Come on then" she giggled excitedly dragging me over to the Livingroom sitting her little mirror on the table and angling it down so I could see my ankle I was a little worried what I now Had permanently on me but I was pleasantly surprised,

The careful and beautiful linework of the outline  of the king piece

"oooohh... I like that actually"  I smirked rather impressed with it even if it was rather red,

"See. trust me" she giggled

"It's beautiful darling, I really like it"

"Good, I thought you would" she smiled moving a little closer standing beside me and I could see in the mirror as she got closer she had a fresh tattoo on her ankle too a tattoo in the same style in the same place on her ankle but of a queen piece so as we stood together they matched

"when-"

"after you went to sleep, before Dan left"

"I love it even more now, it's amazing my darling"

"Ummm" she smiled hugging me tightly nuzzling her head into my chest "I love you"

I was in shock, my heart beating quickly, I relaxed a little and hugged her tightly pulling her as close as I could "I love you too"

I smirked as we arrived at lukes my arm around y/n my hand on her butt though her coat

"Hey! you guys are togethere and aren't murdering each other? this is a rareity" Luke laughed letting us in leading us into the poker room where everyone else was already waiting

"Hi everyone" she smiled

"Hey" I waved as we got to the last two seats next to each other, I slipped my jacket and hat off  

"Drinks?" Luke asked

"Just a cola please Luke" she smiled

"Me too" I told him

"This is... weird" Luke said getting them from his little fridge "But come on you two know the rules"

"Course. You look beautiful y/n"

"Awww thank you benny, you look very handsome too" she smiled I happily kissed her giving her lips a sweet intense kiss

"What- What the hell is going on?" Luke asked as everyone was confused

"You go on wifey" I winked slapping her butt as I sat down she smiled widely and showed off her nice diamond ring,  and wedding ring. everyone looked impressed and shocked so I smirked and showed off my own with my signet ring

"You- You two are... fucking married now?" He asked

"Yep happily married" she smiled slipping her coat off putting it on the chair

"Yes! I knew it!" Mark laughed from across the table "the second y/n wasn't drinking I knew it"

"Yeah, Four months now right?"

"Four and a half" she smiled as she sat down and took my hand "I love you" she smiled nuzzling into my shoulder as Luke dealt the cards

"I love you too" I smirked giving her a kiss

"This is the most insane thing I've seen in my life. But I knew you two loved each other really" Luke laughed.

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch23 The Duke’s Return P3

Warning: Rouxls has a break down and faints. Mak belongs to @wasted-church Please understand I DO NOT know how to put a cut in these.

Well his visit with Seam left him feeling just the teeniest bit worried about Jevil's now high feelings of love and the intencity it now presented, but he had other worries to take care of now. He followed Seam's directions and made his way towards the Field of Hopes and Dreams. As he walked he came by a couple, they were giggling and who he guessed must've been a lady by the hathy's surprised girly squeal when the Rudinn presented a small looking diamond to her and she responded by wrapping her tentacles around the smaller guy and easily lifting him off the ground with a smile and laugh. Hugging him against her body as her mouth peppered him with kisses. The Rudinn giving a goofy smile and melting into puddy in the grip....Despite himself he smiled and shook his head before continuing. Not even the actual holiday and already everyone was treating it like it was. Oh well, he guessed it wasn't his place to judge anyone else on their love life when his was so crooked it made Jevil almost look sane....Almost..What was he even saying? This didn't even count as a love life if these two were seeing this whole thing as a game to win him. What's going to happen after that? He was supposed to live happily ever after with the winner? They would go back to everything being the same before it all happened and they wouldn't even care about him? ....A pang of sadness came from his soul at the thought suddenly. Would he be...really be left alone again?....Maybe it was for the best, he rationalized. After all he didn't need any romance in his life. He had probably the best paying job in the entire Card Kingdom, gorgeous looks, a wonderful son, fancy items, servents at his beck n call, the pleasure of working under the kindest kings, and plenty of admirers he could every want the attention of. ...Still won't be the same- Quiet you!!

Once across the giant field, it was easy to find the bakery at the beginning of the Rudinn Village. Just as Seam had told him. Once he walked through the door his nose was hit with the sweet smells of baked goods, and he had to blink when he saw it. The whole store front was littered with shelves, and on those shelves were ALL kinds of goods. Bread in different shapes and sizes were lined up piled in baskets on one wall while the one across from that displayed sweets like pies, and....was that double fudge moose?! His stomach gave off a grumble at the mere sight and smell of it all. The place was also very clean, and the counter tops shined almost as much as his. And...oh sweet mother of light that was a huge cake. The other side of the store had different cooked foods. Such as jerky, handmade wines, roasts, but most were cakes. Beautifully decorated cakes that looked more sweet than the small one Jevil had cooked him. But he wasn't staring at them. He was staring past the counter into the back room. A cone looking man was humming and twirling around the massive back room, dancing around a massive white cake that glimmered in the light and the smell of vanilla waved over him like a refreshing breeze...Now he usually despised sweet things so much, but his mouth watered at the sight of it. It must've tasted fantastic...Oh, wait. His eyes blinked back to the man who looked like he was making some kind of detail on the very bottem of one of the layers...before nodding his head and putting the tool down.

He crossed his arms and nodded again with a bigger smile. "Perfecto! Another wonderful masterpiece." He spoke with a strange accent. Rouxls stood there quietly for a moment before clearing his throat. Making the man jump and drop what detailing tool he was holding. "MARGA RIBA!! Don't-a scare me like that!!"

Rouxls blinked but held up a hand. "Oh. Mine apologies. Alloweth me to introduce mineself." He bowed. "I amst Rouxls Kaard, Duke of Puzzles and royal advisor to thine kings. I came by because I haveth a job for thou."

At Kings the man's eyes lit up and with a spin he came towards the door and stopped right behind the counter. "Mon amiga!! A job for the kings!? But of course! What is it?!"

Without another word, Rouxls pulled out the scroll and let it unroll in his hand, the man blinking and reaching for it. "Mine kings requests all this food. Enough for their ...eh...impressive size plus another expected ...hundred or more so guests."

The man stared, obviously reading over the list the duke presented and blinked back to him with a surprised look. "A feast you say? Tell me, what is-a your due date for all this?"

Well he should've expected that. And he didn't even hesitate. "Three days. Including today."

"MARGA RIBA!! NO, NO, NO!!" He spun a few times before stopping and Rouxls had to blink. What a strange darkner. "For ze Kings' sized and more for guests!?!?....That woulda take too long!! All day and night and their woulda be no gaurentee I would even be done by then." He then twirled until he stopped in a position and pointed both arms to the door and the cake in the back. "I have a wedding cake to finish for a younge-a couple. They are getting married of that special day you know!!"

Well he didn't know until know, but to him 3 giant disappointed kings and queens, one disappointed son, and lots of disappointed guests were a much more scary thought than a younge couple's wedding...But he sighed. "I assure thou willst be able to deliver thine goods, but I needst thee assistance-" He went to speak but Rouxls held up his hand. "I assure thou our giant kitchen staff and kitchen willst be able to helpest thou. I will even makest it up to thee." When a curious look, Topchef watched as Rouxls pulled out a small stack of darke dollars and placed it onto the counter of the chef, who now stared wide eyed at him. "...And this is just a tip. If thou presents greatest skills then I shallst make sure thou is handsomely paid." Either way he was going to be paid a lot for his massive work load and Seam did give him more money than was needed. Good thing he was used to getting a little persuasion to go a long way.

Topchef looked from the cake in the back, to the counter a few times, and with a calm smile Rouxls scooted the money forward- Which was quickly snatched up by the chef and quickly shifted through. Eyes lighting up in a smile as he looked at the money presented plus the promise of more to come. He looked back to the smiling duke...before snatching the list of the ball food from his still outstretched hand. "Oh Marga riba!! I just-a remembered. I can deliver the cake early to them today and they can freeze it or ...something before the wedding."

The duke smiled. "Of courseth. Thou shouldst deliver it soon. Telleth me, how long until I may escortest thou to thine castle?"

He glanced back down to the dark dollars with a smile. "It-a should not take too long."

"I shall waitest for thee right here. Make hast."

**********************************************************************************************

It took around almost an hour for Mr. Topchef to deliver the cake and back and the two began their way back to Rouxls's Hop Shoppe. The closest point he could teleport to and from the Card Castle. The man spinning every so while, obviously happy to do such a honorable job for the kings and earn such rewards. The dark sky was now much darker indicating it was near nighttime, so he hurried as fast as the cone shaped man would follow him right towards the shoppe. He noticed the flap of Seam's Sheap was firmly closed and a small sign pinned to the outside of the flap read: Sorry Friends. Closed. And he chuckled as he walked past with the now tired looking chef behind him. But it didn't take too long to finally come to the Hip Shoppe, opening it and allowing the tired chef to come in. But there was no time to rest...Perhaps he should've gave warning before grabbing the chef's arm and teleporting in his fabulous feeling of bright light and miniture tightness. Before of course relanding back down with a thump to his feet and letting go of the man behind him.

The poor man gave a few spins of dizziness. Not at all used to any kind of teleporting magic. Before falling flat onto his back inside the Duke's office, that didn't look like it had been touched by Jevil's magic at all. He guessed Jevil really was respecting his boundaries or he left it alone because it was already cleaned.

"....M-M-Mama...amiga....W-Warn a humble m-man-a next time."

"*ahem* Mine apologies." He leaned over the groaning darkner and smiled. "Wouldst thou be-est able to start first thing in the morning?" Topchef merely nodded and Rouxls smiled. "Oh good. I shallst escort thee to one of thine guest room before I inform mine kings. He leaned down and grabbed onto the man's arm and pulled the cone man to his feet with a grunt. Topchef grabbing onto his hat to keep it from falling off as he was stood up by the duke. With a smile, Rouxls began marching him towards the door and reached for the doorknob. Once he grabbed it the blue man paused and gave Top chef a dead serious look. "The castle tis currently under....Erm. Severe cleaning renovations. I highly suggest thou stays within mine reach."

The man was clearly confused by the whole thing but Rouxls took a deep breath, and threw open the door- Just as a giant literally dust bunny about the size and wideth of Seam if he was on all fours came waddling by and Topchef gave a loud squeal of fright before hiding behind the Duke as Rouxls lazily watched it past. Despite it being made of literal dust no dirt was left behind by it. He guessed Jevil's magic must make it all stick to them. The giant rabbit waddled past...Still having dust fly into it's body, and rouxls began pulling the frightened man along behind him. As they walked, he took notice that most of the brooms and feathered dusters were now gone as well as most of the mops and scrub brushes that had been scrubbing the floors and walls with soapy water. Now all that remained in the halls was the occasional rag washing the giant windows or polishing any of the suits of armor or random table in the halls. And the occasional giant dust bunny. Topchef jumped behind Rouxls whenever he even heard one coming and was now practically glued to the blue man's back as he continued to walk past the spooked or annoyed looking guards and other castle staff. He passed one giant bunny who was standing in the middle of a separate hallyway and stood completely still as lots of black soot from a few fireplaces were flying into his body. He rose a white brow, quite impressed at that. Jevil was really getting everywhere wasn't he....Wasn't this very tiring for him?

He almost stopped walking at the thought. He never had that thought until now. Did Jevil's magic actually tire him out? It was clear the Kaard mix had an impressive amount of power behind that small frame, and thanks to Seam he knew that his feelings held a tremendous amount of control over those powers. But by the looks of it, he never seemed to run out of energy. All bouncy and full of life even when he was upset....So was something as big as this really gonna put any sort of strain on him? He admitted his copy spell needed a lot of concentration and power-

"DUKE!! DUKE!! MR. KAARD!!" He stopped and gave a hum over his shoulder just as a very scared looking Rudinn was slithering as fast as they could towards him, making him raise a brow. As she didn't stop until she crashed into his leg and she looked up to him hororfied. "G-G-GIANT RABBIT!! C-C-COURTYARD!! S-SCARY!! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Was all she could get out before burrying her face into his pants leg.

Topchef gave an equally terrorfied look and Rouxls sighed, they were getting spooked of a nonliving rabbit made of nothing but dirt and magic. ..But he guessed he would've been scared too if he wasn't so used to Jevil's chaos right now....But then again- He blinked and looked around. Nothing was moving around by magic anymore, everything looked cleaned, covered in shiny pink and red hearts, but otherwise peaceful. ...Where was the giant rabbits and moving objects?? With a curious hum he turned his gaze to the spooked Rudinn clutching his leg and reached down to pat her head.

"I shallest go see what has happened. *sigh* Please escorteth Mr. Topchef here to one of thine guest rooms."

She and Topchef were quick to agree to get away from the apparently crazy thing that was happening now, as she grabbed the cone man's hand and began to lead him away quickly. Rouxls sighed and wondered what exactly it was THIS time, as his legs turned him and he began heading back to the front of the castle to check up on this mysterious new problem. As he passed, he noticed there was still no magical objects or bunnies, which seemed strange. Perhaps Jevil had finished up already...But where were all the red hallway rugs? His mitchmatched eyes looked up and he flinched...before jumping just in time to avoid a long red carprt unrolling under him and his head was really quick to watch as it rolled out all the way until it reached the very end of the hallway. And the connecting hallway having another giant red carpet unfurling as he blinked at the quick rolling blur. He blinked as he turned back up the current hallway just in time for another red blur to roll past....Jevil must've been putting them all back as the floors were finished, but where was the smaller menace. He continued on his way to the front and he noticed a few more red blurs rolling here and there...along with more stunned and shook looking darkners. Oh it couldn't have been that bad? He was sure he's seen the worst of Jevil with being attacked by flying heart attacks. But when he turned the corner he paused.

"Your majesties?"

The kings didn't even react as they along with almost thirty or so staff members were blankly staring out a few gigantic windows at seemingly the ground. Lancer wasn't anywhere among them so he guessed he must've already been put to sleep. With a determined face he carefully stepped over and around the smaller rudinns and hathys until he stood in front of the glass windows. Grumbling and looking down...and absolutely froze at what he saw.

THERE. WAS. A. GIANT. RABBIT IN THE COURTYARD!!!

And above them was a tiny purple floating menace, sitting in what looked like in a cross-legged position and was doing nothing but staring at the absolutely massive dust bunny as it just sat as frozen as a statue while the long red rugs were slowly flowing out it sideways like on a conveyor belt and LOTS of brooms were smacking the floating rugs from all sides and places as they passed, causing a steading stream of dirt and particals to float down onto the giant rabbit. Compared to the kings, the thing was massive. If the three next to him plus their wives were standing next to each other they would be the closest thing to matching that creatures size. Once one rug was done, it would dart back into the castle through the giant door entrance or one of the many giant windows opened for them. Looking a much more clean and vibrant red than before. His mouth fell completely open, eyes practically buldging out like googly eyes and not believing the sight before him. Like it was a dream and he would wake up at any moment....HOW LONG HAD HE BEEN AT THIS?! He quickly turned around and began making his way past all the scrunched together darkners.

"M-MOVETH!! OUT OF MINE WAY, PLEASE!!"

Unknownst to him as he was rushing away to get himself down there, the last rug had already made itself through the mysterious cleaning process and was quickly whisked away with the brooms beating it back into the castle. Jevil gave out a loud yawn, stretching his back out in mid air before his fangs snapped closed with an actual mousetrap noise. Oh boy. It had been a long day and his other two selves were still busy as bees in other parts of the castle, sure it was straining but not as straining with the strong feeling of love burning in his core. The thought made him smile as with another movement with his arms, the rabbit slowly began to make it's way over from the castle, but the smile on his face remained. He hadn't felt this powerful since he and Seam....Well, that was a long time ago. Sure the spark between them was still there but with what happened-...Well no one can change the past, he was really free now and had a different sight in his eyes. He sighed and stared off dreamily at just the thought of those cute eyes staring at him surprised by his magic, bright white lashes fluttering. The giggles he would give when he did make him smile that beautiful smile. Beautiful sparkling hair framing his face- ...He chuckled. And the pouts he'd make when he became frustrated, his cheeks puffed out. It was so cute. He could hear him now-

"JEVIL!!"

Wow that memory was really loud-

"JEVIL!! LOOK AT ME YOU WORM!!" He blinked and looked down...and was greeted with the sight of a very angry looking worm monster. The blue man pointed a finger down to his feet while looking at him. "Gettest down here this instant and explain thineself!!"

Oh be still his beating soul!! He giggled with glee and casually floated down still cross-legged as calm as ever. The duke watching him with those eyes and he wouldn't have had it any other way, once he got low enough to stay eye level, he fluttered his eyes at him. "Why hello, hello.~ And what may I do, do for you?~" The duke blinked and leaned sideways to gaze at the giant mound of walking dirt crawl into the tree line just beyond the castle where it finally stopped, seemingly waiting for it's master's command. Speaking of Jevil. "Oh. Excuse me for a moment." His head turned, looked at the giant thing for a moment, before reaching up his hand and snapping his fingers. Within seconds the thing dissolved into nothing but a giant pile of dirt between the trees. Completely looking the shape of any cute bunnies. Jevil hummed in satisfaction before turning back to him. "Now, what were you saying, saying?"

Rouxls blinked at the girt mound for a moment, afraid it might come back to life any second, before clearing his throat and looking the purple loon in the eyes. "Thou art frightening and making trouble for mine staff and everyone else. Thou art to cease thine cooky ways of cleaning immediately!"

Jevil didn't even argue to his surprise and just nodded in agreement. "Oh certainly. Im already finished with the whole castle, castle. Most of the dust, dust came from those very disgusting dungeons, dungeons. You know. You should really consider a cleaning crew, cleaning crew for those places, places."

Rouxls.....blinked. He was already done?! One Day!! And he was already done cleaning and straightening up the entire castle in ONE DAY?! As is sensing Rouxls's thoughts he chuckled ad nodded yes at his bewildered face...Rouxls finally found his voice and cleared his throat again. "Well. That tis...v-very splendid of thou, b-but where is-"

"Lancer? I put him to bed, bed hours ago. Young man was tuckered out from chasing my little, little spells around."

"....I waseth going to ask about thine other halves." He rose a brow annoyed at being interrupted, but at least he knew where Lancer was. But he had noticed that this Jevil wasn't see through, which must've meant his full form must've been behind the cleaning part, but where were the other two.

Jevil waved a hand like it was nothing. "One me Is almost done with, with the cheesy invintations. The other, other shall have all the paperwork and scheduling you require for the appropriate staff on your desk by tomorrow morning. Don't worry, don't worry." His tail wagged and he put his head in his hands. "Did you find the man, man I told you about?"

"Uh..Y-Yes. He's spending thine night in thine castle and awaiting work in thine morning."

"Splendid, splendid." Jevil clapped his hands a few times before pointing a finger upwards. "You should go home, home for now. I shall see to it you have everything, everything you need in the morning."

Rouxls went to protest but with another quick snap of his fingers, Jevil disappeared in a flash of smoke and confetti. Rouxls sputtered and coughed from the smoke, waving his hand to bat away the colorful miniture paper and growled. OH! That Jevil was going to be a real pain in the neck. He could tell.

************************************************************************************************

He couldn't bring himself to take the long journey back home in the middle of the night. So the duke took up residence in one of the guests rooms. The sleep was less than plentiful was it was relaxing enough to where he woke up semi late in the morning and was still able to make himself look presentable. His first task was too see to Lancer,...but the child was one step ahead of him and came tugging him to the kitchen so his father could make him breakfast since it was already so crowded. He asked him what he meant, and Lancer just replied:

"Uncle Jevil got done in the middle of the night. So he said he decided to help Mr. Conehead guy out with the cooking, but I can't get anything. They're moving too fast."

Rouxls was very confused on what the child meant but when the sweet aromas of warm pies and roasts hit his senses, it was like a punch to the gut. So imagine his surprise when the leaned down form of the duke was dragged around the corner by the King holding his hand and straight towards the kitchen doors and the sweet smells. His empty stomach did a jig without him ordering it. He looked to Lancer in question when they stopped in front of them but he just pushed open one of the giant doors inside....And Rouxls blinked. The ENTIRE kitchen staff was there. FLipping dishes and making noise with pots and pans out the wazoo, and in the middle of all the chaos was..You guess it. Was the small purple menace himself...And Topchef. The two were were smiling and chatting away looking at a piece of paper Rouxls recognized instantly as the list of foods he had given to the spinning man yesterday. Lancer tried to take a step in but a Rudinn Ranger chef slid past immediately carrying an armful of trays, not even noticing he had almost ran over her small king. Luckily he had jumped back just in time and clutched onto Rouxls's leg for dear life. The Blue man flinched at the sudden almost attack on his son and immediately reached down to pat his head in a ssurance.

The spade pup looked up to him with a sad face. "See? No one knows Im hungry!" He shouted. "And all the pots and pan are too noisy!! I'M HUNGRY, LESSER DAD!!"

That last line made the duke narrow his eyes and look back to the kitchen seen from hell in front of him. OH LIGHT NO!! He couldn't remember the amount of times Lancer had waddled up to him asking him to get food because the King forgot to have someone bring Lancer his dinner or the kitchen was closed off to the once prince for the day. The sound of his little stomach growling and his little paws reaching up towards him. Sometimes sniffling- Those eyes narrowed. If there was one thing he hated more was a child as young as him asking for food when he should've gotten it in the first place!! ...Which is why he didn't think at first when he told Lancer to stay where he was. When he marched into that kitchen. When he literally pushed a hathy trying to drag a giant bag of flour out of his way. When he grabbed that lunatic by the back of that silly outfit he wore. When he literally turned him around to face the duke's rage.

"HOW DAREST THOU!?" His other hand poked the startled Jevil in the chest. "HOW DARETH THOU LET A CHILD GO HUNGRY!?" Everything in the kitchen stopped and everyone turned to the shouting duke." CAN'T YOU SEE HE NEEDS NUTRITION?! WHAT COULDST BEST SO IMPORTANT TO YOU THAT YOU ALLOW HIM TO GO HUNGRY LIKE THIS?!" His eyes looked up to the surrounding staff. His anger raising. How dare NONE of these people realize he was hungry?! He's their king! He was only a baby!! And he had almost gotten run over for wanting just some simple breakfast!! The thought made his slime boil. "YOU!!" He pointed at a random Rudinn who flinched hard at the Duke turning his rage towards him. "STOP WHAT THOU'RE DOING THIS INSTANT AND GET YOUR KING SOMETHING TO EAT NOW!!"

The rudinn immediately dropped the empty metal bowl, which made a metallic clanging sound once it hit the floor, and saluted. Slithering to the back towards where the fridge was usually kept, pushing past everyone. The duke's blue eyes watching with lingering wrath, lungs heaving slightly-...He didn't even notice the stunned silence of the jester being held so close to those burning flames of hatred being directed to everyone around him in that kitchen, he didn't even notice the small man until his clawed hands shakily came up to wrap around the hand that still gripped his front. The two made eye contact and....the rage in his eyes were blinked away once he saw his. Giant round yellow pupils. Widened in shock. Purple ears bent back and a small unsure frown in his eyes..It almost looked like Jevil was..scared of him.

That thought immediately made Rouxls's soul give a giant leap in his chest of guilt and the realization of what had just happened hit him hard. Jevil reached a hand out for Rouxls's face but the duke dropped him, Jevil landed on the small table he was hovering over with a small thud, Rouxl's had just dropped him as if he was fire and had burnt him. His Jester hat wa pushed back from his eyes and the jester was giving him a worried look. Gazing at where his chest was, the guilt and anxiety his mate was feeling were intense and he was-

"Thank you, Mr. Snake person." Both jumped at hearing Lancer's innocent voice and found him happily munching on what looked like a sandwhich. His face now a happy one as he looked up at the same Rudinn as before who was bowing to him still slightly shooken from before looking at his Lesser Dad chewing. "It'z mweaaly good." He mumbled with a full mouth. He hadn't even noticed the situation and was happily looking up at his father as usual, but soon his head tilted when he noticed the frown on his face. "Arf yom ok?"

Rouxls didn't even scold him for eating with a full mouth, the duke quickly took a few strides, lifting the boy into his arms as he passed, and went straight out the door. Not looking back as he walked straight off and ignoring any noises or people behind him-

Those feelings didn't go away. Not when he dropped Lancer off to his tutor for a few hours. Not when he forced a smile and told him to behave himself and promised he'd come get him in a few hours. And definitely not when he quickly made his way to the safety of his office. Ignoring the swirling pink and red, Heart and soul pounding like a soulattack was getting to him.His mind swirled with the emotions of what just happened and only one thought resurfaced from the bottom pit of his mind-

You're gonna lose them. You're gonna lose them just like you lost her.

He breathed and tried to calm himself down from the rush, but it wasn't working whenever Jevil's face flashed before him. His office wasn't any better. Once he got in he saw a sack laying beside it and upon further expection found a bunch of red envelopes with different names and addresses on them and each with a pink soul....Goodness there was a bunch, did Jevil spend all night doing there? Another pang of guilt came up in him and he almost choked on how much sadness and guilt rang out from that stupid soul of his. Guilt and regret that all the hard work he just did FOR HIM no less was gonna go down the drain or he was gonna make himself feel absolutely not wanted. He gave a yelp and clutched at his chest when a giant thump gave way. It didn't hurt but boy was it surprising....W-Well...there wasn't anything he could do about it now. Rouxls sighed and grabbed the bag. Dragging it to the door, he opened it and looked at the first guard he could see....A small rudinn who was holding a spear in one hand and sighed dreamily, reading a small heart card in the other-

He hissed again when his soul thumped hard against his chest and growled, getting the guard's attention. "Y-Y-You there-" He pointed to the guard and brought the bag around to place at his feet. "G-Get all the castle messagers and gettest these sent out at once!...P-Please."

The guard stuffed the heart card immediately into his pocket and saluted. He watched with sad eyes as the man grabbed the bag and began dragging it off immediately. He watched until he could no longer see the rudinn anymore, he suddenly felt so tired. So when he closed the door, he laid his whole body against it to close it....A silence rang out in the office as the duke of puzzles leaned against the door staring at nothing.....His blue body someone wrenched itself from the doorway, he felt light headed. And his feet heavy like cement was weighing him down as he dragged his feet to the desk, his body came to flop down in that chair of his and those glazed over eyes stared at nothing. He couldn't see anything. The white papers of todays reports and paperwork stared up at him, but those eyes couldn't make out the words on display for him to see. Soon a raindrop stained the white paper underneath him. Followed by another. And another. And another until his eyes became the storm clouds and his tears the rain. And the papers his unsuspecting victims.

And the once proud man that was the duke sobbed. He sobbed and he sobbed hard over the desk of papers, leaning until those storm cloud eyes were closed and his forehead touching the table. His body wracked with guilt, and loss, and regret, and-..and sadness all of which he felt colliding and which a force stronger than he ever felt before. Hands came to grip that pearly white pretty hair and he continued to sob and tug at it.

His soul thumping harder and harder in his chest. Until it...Until he-

Called out.

He couldn't describe the feeling, but it was as if a wave of energy had suddenly started bursting with every hard thump his soul made against his rib caged. Each one earning a choke from him and another sob after it. WHAT IN LIGHT WAS HAPPENING!? Was he having a soul attack!? ...No, no. He couldn't be. He wasn't THAT old. He was no where near a thousand and was considered to still be a very young monster where he was from. But he couldn't less at that moment. If this was it for him then so be it. He kept going crying harder and harder as those feelings kept hitting in a loop round and round until the door suddenly flew open. He didn't even look up at the probably scared rudinn or hathy. He just wanted to be left alone with those thought and not be bothered right now. He made enough of a big mess.

So imagine his surprise when clawed purple hands grabbed at his own gripping his hair and pried them off with the strength he didn't have and threw them to the sides. He then felt his body forced up from the desk but he still didn't look up as he felt someone press his cloud eyed face to them in a hug and tried to lessen his chokes and sobs in a hug. This wasn't what he wanted exactly but the pulsating and thumping hard of his soul didn't stop. In fact it only got worse to the point it was almost starting to hurt, his hands grabbing on to whoever was holding onto him as he continued to sob into their chest. A clawed hand patted his head and assured him in a worried voice that everything was gonna be ok and not to worry, but his muddled mind and soul wouldn't let him off the hook as it continued it's assult of calling. And whoever it was calling wasn't answering.

Making the one holding him curse before gripping him tighter.

"HOLD ON!! HOLD ON!! IM TAKING YOU TO SEAM RIGHT NOW, NOW!!"

He didn't answer when suddenly there was a feeling of tightness in his chest and his whole body finally gave in and went limp in the darkness. His whole body feeling light as a cloud except for the rapid calling and thumping of his soul from his chest. He didn't know where he was as his mind went fuzzy and body numb like a ragdoll.

"SEAM!! SEAM, HELP ME!!"

Was he being dragged? Everything seemed to smell musty and a familiar feeling of cotton scented softed suddenly came over his form.

"Jevil....What happened?"

His sould gave a few more hard thumps before finally slowing. The tightness in his chest finally starting to disappear...and more feeling came back to his numb body.

"DON'T TELL, DON'T TELL ME YOU CAN'T FEEL IT SEAM!! HIS SOUL WAS CALLING TO US!! DISTRESS, DISTRESS HARDER THAN I HAVE SEEN, SEEN!! IT WOULD NOT LET, LET UP UNLESS BOTH PRESENT FOR THE OTHER HALF!!"

"..." Someone hummed. "...Yes. I can feel the past effects from it."

"Will he..Will he be alright."

A long moment of silence before he felt himself being shifted and taken somewhere within the darkness.

"Yes. But he'll need plenty of rest, and we need to be right next to him. His soul wants that, but for now let him sleep."

His body was happy to give in to the request as he slowly drifted off to a well deserved sleep.

[allmannerofnerdery]

Persona 5 review

Persona 5 is a beautiful, hilarious, challenging, super weird, super long JRPG that’s not afraid to mix up its established formula. It’s also not afraid of pushing buttons.  Good:

-- FREAKING GORGEOUS: Style out the butt. In-your-face pizzaz. Bold and flashy, but also intricate and detailed. This is way more than Persona on the Catherine Engine. The monsters are beautiful. For fellow SMT fans that have seen these faces a million times, seeing them in this new light is a thrill. Color splashes, red zig zags, hands slapping on screens, crazy font design, ridiculous almost JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure-level poses -- it’s wonderful. 

-- Friends for days: The best part about Persona games is the social interactions. They jammed a huge cast and tons of actions and interactions in P5. If you’re a see/do/hear it all kind of JRPGer, you’re never going to finish this game. I won’t go into any of the details because meeting these people for yourself and learning their backstory is the true joy of this game.

As always, your friendships power you up in the game. Cool mechanics ties abound. They’re still teaching that ‘it pays to have friends’ lesson.

It’s less Scooby Doo and more realistic, too. Well, as realistic as a Persona game can get. Here are a whole bunch of people from different walks (but all from school, haha) getting together under a common theme and goal. And now they’re stealing hearts and changing the world in their own way. They’ll feel like your real friends. It’s that Persona magic all over again.

-- Huge world: The early Persona games let you find new areas and explore them, but P3 and P4 got farther away from that. It’s all back. There are so many cool locales to visit. Tons of shops. Hidden areas. Shortcuts. 

There’s a super faithful recreation of Shibuya Station, complete with step/turn accurate exits to other lines. You’ll be amazed by Hachiko’s statute. I was amazed that one exit’s turn down a stairwell accurately led to the Den-en-tosh line, leading out to where I used to live in Tokyo. My jaw dropped. It’s so big that you can actually get lost. And getting lost is a delight. All of the obscure stores in back alleys gives me good Persona 2 vibes. There’s even a good pharmacy song.

You’ll love all of the downtime activities. It’s not to Yakuza 0 level yet, but it’s leaning that direction. I love the food shopping for some reason.

-- FUN ASS DUNGEONS: There are people that play Persona games that hate dungeon crawling. That just seems bizarre to me but I know they’re out there. They’re going to like these. You’re going to like these. They’re themed so you get a lot of variety. And new stealth and platforming elements keep things fresh. They’re big and convoluted and there’s a good save/checkout system for exploring for as long as you can before you run out of MP and goods.   

Outside the theme/main dungeons, there’s an overall world dungeon you can visit at will for leveling and story expansion. And it’s crazy. And its music is crazy.

-- GOOD ASS MUSIC: speaking of music, Shoji Meguro did that mid-career thing that all good artists do where he says, hey, you don’t know me. I’m capable of more. Of different. 

Persona 5′s soundtrack is a HUGE departure from previous games. More grooves. More funk. More live instrumentation. More performances. It’s every bit as vocal as the previous couple, but the style is so different. This change gives a subdued initial impression, but this music is so carefully crafted to fit the world that you’ll love it even more than the flashy weird-to-be-weird songs you know from before. 

One really slick thing is how the soundtrack is built around the long haul (this is a 100-hour game). I don’t want to spoil anything, but know that the songs you’re hearing in hour 10 will change eventually. Evolve. It’s so subtle that I wonder if some even notice! 

I LOVE this soundtrack.

-- Your Turn...based: I was relieved to pick up a turn-based RPG after Final Fantasy XV. Love both games but man, I need my strategy time! It’s the same ol’ battle system with a few new tweaks. You already knew that so I won’t go into it. But the challenge level is nicely done. Encounters are handled well. Persona availably is limited early on (which is to say that enemy variety is strangely limited), and that kind of sucks, but you can always blend to make your own. You know the drill. 

I really dig the baton pass ability that let’s another party member take over once you land a good hit. It let’s you dig deeper into resource management strategy if  you’d like. I also dig the gun attack addition, though it isn’t used as much as I’d like. 

Boss battles are big and beefy, and they have some interesting mechanics that tie into the game’s world. And the challenge level is nice overall. Just...nicely done!

-- STORRRRYYYEEEEEE: If you want a story with nooks and crannies you can sink your teeth into, P5 is gonna fill you up. It’s deep and multilayered and super stylized and so much more than you’re used to as a Persona 5. They really packed this sandwich. The us-against-the-world story has lots of sub stories, loopbacks, world ties, and surprises. And it plays out over such a long overall arc that you’re going to just kind of suddenly draw connections during your workday and be, like, Oh WOW!  The story is kind of heavy. Darker than usual. Perverted in places. Just plain weird in others. Plenty of moving moments too. There’s lots of social commentary piled on. This plays internationally, but man, it’s really Japan-focused if you know your J-culture. And I love that. 

-- Curry: Japanese curry plays a part in the story. That’s awesome.  Bad:

-- TIME MANAGEMENT: After about 10 hours of play you’ll feel overwhelmed with your downtime choices. And there are so many things to chase after (story, stats, locales, etc) that you can easily lose your way. There’s a need for a good tracking system for all of the possible actions and interactions. It’s surprisingly messy! The feeling that you’re always close to running out of time is real. And kind of annoying. The game’s loading icon tells you to “take your time” but it often feels like you can’t. 

-- Stealth Controls are SHIT: I can’t believe how bad the “cover” system is for this game. Latching onto and off of walls in dungeons is a fun mechanic, but the system is so wonky that you’re sometimes finding yourself dancing like an idiot in a room full of baddies. They’ll run you down while you’re fumbling with the controls, and when they attack you’re automatically at a battle disadvantage. It’s scream-at-your-TV bad. 

-- Morgana, shut the hell up: You’ll see. Especially in battles. You’re cute and I love you, but shut up.

-- Busted-ass Japanese names: Ugh. Some of the Japanese proper noun pronunciation is rough! Which is a shame as the voice work quality is outstanding. Your eyes will pop out of your head with some of the pronunciation, sorry to say.

Summary:

You should play this. But I can’t really imagine a world where someone needs to be told to play a Persona game. It’s the best Persona game of them all. 

[llantrisantscc]

Fiat 500 Round 2 - 14th March 2018

Round 2 Fiat 500 should start with an apology. I got home from racing last night and the wife said “Good grief, how much garlic have you eaten?”.  I must have stunk the place out last night, sorry. Still, worse things happened in Hereford.  A hearty turnout of 10 racers splashed their way to Llany, so the racing was going to be boisterous fun. On that subject, when we end up with three groups of racers, we are going to need to start a bit earlier – I fear a certain member’s Peugeot was at severe risk of turning into a pumpkin after our very late finish.

I don’t know if we are maturing or whatever, but practice seemed to need a considerably less marshalling than normal Fiat 500 events. Quali was rather exciting, P3 to P5 was settled by 1/1000th and 8/1000th – not bad on a lap just under 9 seconds! The whole field was covered by less than a second, so just goes to show what a leveller this class can be.

The first group wheeled themselves out to start H1. Leon had discounted himself from scoring, as the lights went Green he hadn’t plugged his controller in. His Fiat Mega Abarth 458 was stationary on the line, much to the hilarity of the attendant crowd of well-wishers.  Mike got away well in Blue with Lee following in Yellow. A big offski for Mike on L5 gave Lee a moment in the limelight, but a lap later Lee did the same and ceded the lead back to Mike. Try as he might, he was not able to get close enough to Mike to threaten him. Good to win from Blue, we could be in for an exciting night.

H4 was Lee’s turn to chug around the dreaded Blue – having a new car didn’t help his cause, as he gamely fought the lane and plodded on to the conclusion. Steve advised that some weight is likely to be needed on this car. Meanwhile, Mike was having a good run in Green and got himself another good heat win to take himself up to tea time!

What can we say about H7? Well Mike had an absolute flier in Red, his only fly in the ointment was a solitary off on L18. Lee was adjusting his driving style now he understood the lack of weight issue and adjusted his driving style accordingly for a good run to 2nd place.

For their last venture onto the track, Mike was enjoying the speed in Yellow, with the newly invigorated Lee recovered well after a poor outlap and drove well once more to second. Sorry there isn’t more meat in the report for this group, but overtakes were few and far between tonight. Which can’t be said fro group2!

This lot came out all guns blazing in H2. Michael had a great launch in Red and started pulling away from the off. However, Martyn and Seb rejoined battle from last week in Blue and Yellow – doing their favourite “I just crashed, so you’d better crash” method of chasing each other. They looked like they were enjoying it! By the halfway mark, Seb had pulled out a 10 second gap to cement his 2nd place behind Michael,  at which point Martyn calmed down and started to try and beat the lane, not his heat combatants.  Seb really settled into a good rhythm at this point and started to pressure Michael a little. A flurry of deslots toward the end of the race saw Seb close Michael right down – they had a thrilling game of cat and moouse in the closing laps, the flag couldn’t come soon enough for Michael as Seb was wishing for a 31 lap race! At the flag, 9/100ths of a second separated victor Michael from the rather animated Seb. What a race those two had!

In H5, Martyn was allowed to play with the big boys as he was in Green. Keeping his nose clean on the outlap allowed him a little bit of space between himself and Michael in Yellow with Seb tagging along just behind in Blue. Michael then got the dap down and starting eating into Martyn’s lead by a goodly amount as each tour completed.  By L5, Michael was poised to pounce, but DISASTER! An off stunted Michael’s rapid gains on Martyn.  Once more the Pink hued car closed the gap at an impresie rate of knots until – BOOM – another passing attempt thwarted by an off.  Just at the halfway mark it happened again, very frustrating as Martyn was ripe for the plucking each time. Meanwhile, Seb was using his head and keeping out of trouble as he banged his laps in. 11 laps later and the scenario was relived! Very frustrating as again, a 31 lap heat would have been enough for the Pink car to edge ahead of the tricolore, but sadly it was not to be.  Marrtyn edged over the line a nadge over a second in the lead.

A great duel unfolded in H8, once again michael in the thick of it as he ran a good Blue lane whilst scrapping ferociously with Seb in Green. The guys really were concentrating hard as Michael clawed his way back towards Seb after a disappointing opening few laps. His perserverence paid off as he slipped past Seb on L19. The guys then raced a pas de deux , 2nd and 3rd places swapping almost  every few seconds for the next 6 laps! Seb got past Michael on L25 for the last time and stayed an espresso cup ahead to the flag – again, what a close finish with these two. Martyn meanwhile had slunk off and taken a flag to flag victory – the only notable incident ws a stupendous pair of offs at exactly the midpoint. Oops.

The penultimate round of the night saw Seb plough a lonely furrow in Red, as Michael in Green showed Martyn (Yellow) how to do it. This was a reversal of H5 and quite unusual in that we rarely see Green beat Yellow, these guys both reversed the trend. The heat panned out with Michael having a very consistent drive as Martyn chased him down, unfortunately over driving a bit and coming to grief to often. An uncanny mirror image of H5. This time though, the gap between 1st and 2nd was a more convincing 5 seconds. A good strong finish for Michael, whilst a bit of a disappointment for Martyn. Going into this heat, he could have put himself in position for 6th to 3rd. Let’s see what happens as the fast mob’s evening unfolds.

Alan (RED) and Russ (Yellow) had a pile up at the start of H3, allowing Steve (Green) to take an early lead with Craig (Blue) in close attendance. L6 saw the other pair have a tangle, but they had a little edge of Alan who had tripped up on LLs 4&5, though Russ was right there, harrying Craig. A lap later and it was Russ’ turn to visit the kitty litter, as Steve had to minor deslots allowing the marshalls to get him going again very quickly. He still had the narrowest of advantages over Russ to retain 2ndplace.  As all this drama was unfolding, Alan was having a few wobbles in Red, but when his car was behaving it was showing an impressive turn of speed. On L16, Russ drove around the outside of Steve to wrest 2nd from him. It must have unsettled the old stalwart, as he binned it big style on the next but one lap, whilst bolstering Russ’ resolve as he set off after Craig. Lls 23&24 were not pleasant for Craig as he charged around in Blue –offs on both laps saw Russ succeed in his 2nd half charge and wrest the lead from him. A mad dash to the line for both combatants/pizza deliverers was joined – fast and furious, but very stylish, laps from both in their little Fiats. One lap from home the dolce vit was over for Russ. A slip and he was off – oh the cruelty! A well fought win for Craig, with Russ 1/10th behind and Steve just under a second further back in 3rd. I know Leon said similar ages ago, but Alan, if you want to mix it with these three you had better grow your beard back.

An entertaining opening brace of laps in H6 saw Craig take a flying lead in Green, Steve follow him off in Red, then crash out on the next lap, Alan took third spot in Yellow, holding it for 3 laps, and Russ went last to second on L2. Frantic! Steve regained his composure on L4, just as beardless Alan came to grief and slipped to the back of the field. Steve fought hard to make up ground after his early errors and by L15 had just got his bumper ahead and into 2nd place. Steve was lappig about 3/10ths quicker as he got away from Russ. This shows just how fast the Russinator was circulating in Blue – no mean feat, especially with these top heavy, short wheel-based cars. The four protagonists held station, though spread out a little more, for the remaining laps.

Once more all the fun was had in the early laps of H9. Craig disappeared in Red, gradually opening up a gap lap on lap until eventually he rolled out winner by over 17 seconds. Russ set off 2nd, Steve third and Alan in fourth (G,Y,B, respectively). Wiley Mr Birchmore pounced to take 3rd as the man in Yelow took a big spill. But once again, Steve got his head down and by dint of being in a much faster lane, was back ahead of Alan two laps later. Getting the hang of this “going rather fast” malarkey, Steve then closed in on Russ and was able to capitalise on Russ’ misfortune on L9 and take over P2. 5 laps later and roles were reversed and Russ’ perseverance was rewarded as Steve had the misfortune stick handed to him. Russ built on this and ran out a comfortable seond, with Steve third and Alan at the tail.

And so we come to the last heat of the night. Guess what Craig did in Yellow? Yep, scampered off without a care in the world to take it flag to flag. Not a bad night’s driving all sewn up. Russ had a clear run in Red. His occasional off not placing his position in too much danger as he eventually ran out a comfortable second. Steve launched into 3rd place in Blue, with Alan not far behind in Green. The lads had a good old scrap for the opening dozen laps, then a pair of offs on consecutive laps left Steve adrift at the tail. Alan wasn’t going to be asked twice, so he got on with it and cemented a well taken 3rd spot up in the Premiere League. Meanwhile, Steve’s “blues” continued as he suffered several more offs between L12 and the flag. As this was the final heat, we could see the results for all racers (6 having finished in the other two groups) against the heat score displays. It was a nailbiting finish – the results telling the final story after the last chequered flag dropped.

So next week – from the slowest cars to our fastest cars, Open GT next week. Some of our number will be like kids on Christmas eve, as it is only a few days after this race that they set off for the DiSCA 24hrs du Mans in Henley in Arden.  Watch out, they will be unbearable.