#but like. oh my god dragon quest and final fantasy 1 came out a year apart in thr 80

[spitblaze]

You ever see something that is meant to be like...an overgeneralized statement for the sake of entertainment or comedy and not at all serious but it's about YOUR special interest and you are just sitting there trying not to explode with an entire explanation of why it's such an overgeneralized statement and the depth of the topic

[planesofduality]

The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes - Dialogue Wheel (Part 3 of 3)

The final piece of the interview!

Here is Part 1, Part 2

Time: 25:35

One of the most beautiful scenes I think in Dragon Age Inquisition is the scene that you get with Solas if you play as a female elf Inquisitor. Talk a little bit about that choice to have this romance option very, very specific. It’s race- and gender- specific. Why that scene - what that scene meant and a lot of the subtext, because it is a very rich sequence of scenes, not just one. And, I think it’s really one of the most interesting romances in the game.

I love that scene because that scene for me shows how far we’ve gone past - not the make myself irrelevant anymore - but how far we’ve gone with the digital acting. Jonathan Epp the cine-designer for that scene put it together and when you take everything that Gareth David Lloyd - the voice actor - everything he did on his lines. And just putting so much tragedy, and making it clear in every line that he wants to say more than he can. And with Jon Epp the cine-designer, just in the wordless scenes: showing the tragedy, showing the heartbreak, showing how much he does genuinely care against his better judgement, and how he finally forces himself to step away.,

You know how I said when we were talking about the Iron Bull - everything, every major moment we do, is there for a specific type of player fantasy fulfillment. And you know, not all types of fantasies are the happy ones. There’s a reason why The Phantom of the Opera was on Broadway for so many years and it’s not because it has a happy ending.

The Phantom of the Opera isn’t exactly the theme for the romance -  the razor was something closer to almost professor and student in some ways. He definitely comes across as a mentor in some ways. When he finally steps back it is him beating himself up, not you, saying “Wow what I have done here is actually really unfair to you, and you, player, at the time don’t know that I’m beating myself up because I’m actually  1000s of years old and not the person you think I am and it’s disrespectful to you for me to continue this relationship.” So it’s a very moral perspective for our ancient, quasi-evil, trickster god to come with.

Time: 28:41

And it’s amazing because it’s another instance of content that so few players would actually get an opportunity to see. When it comes to making it that specific, I guess, why was that choice made? Because usually a lot of your content - most of the Dragon Age content - it’s very easy to get really rich, wonderful characters right in your face and have those wonderful “eat-em-up” experiences, why for this one was it such a steep price to get in?

You know, I won’t lie, a lot of it came from some of our designers. Some of the women in the design department really, really loving his voice and saying, “You are absolutely fools if you do not make him romance-able in some capacity.” And, really, his story overall is - and, you know, I think we’ve only hinted at that but I think we have hinted at it enough that I can at least say this part of it - his story isn’t a happy one. His story is one, where, if you look at him and Mythal, there is clearly some grief, there is clearly some tragedy. And, adding in the option - even for players who don’t take it - on my end as a writer,  knowing that some players will have this as a star-crossed, forbidden romance, you know, it makes him more sympathetic. It’s important to me as a writer because when you’re writing about someone who, according to Flemeth, is at least somewhat responsible for the bad guy getting the magical item that he used to blow up half a mountain in the prologue, it’s important to have something in there that you can always have, as a writer, look at as your touchstone and go “This is a real person. This is someone who experiences sadness. This is someone who falls in love.” Even if he doesn’t do it with that Inquisitor on that playthrough, this is always someone who can be like that.

Time: 30:58

Where do you see a character like Solas ending up?

(Big sigh) Musical theater.

(laughs) Right when we reach those beautiful moments, Patrick!

I think that it is fantastic that people have emotionally engaged with Solas and I hope we get a chance to explore that in some future content.

Alright and that’s the most that we’re getting right now.

Time: 31:37

Oh, and here’s a little tie in: Here Lies the Abyss, the demon that spoke to Solas - what was all that about, what was that going on?

Oh yes - the demon who speaks perfect Elven!

Yes perfectly to him, and if you remember any of that - did you have anything to do with that?

Yes, Here Lies the Abyss was mine. It was a fun plot. It was a terrifyingly difficult plot, because - I’m not sure how clear this is to players that have one done one playthrough or with one import state - but your key characters throughout the events at Adamant Fortress and then the events of the Fade, it’s a customizable Hawke. Which means it could be a male Hawke or a female Hawke and within that, Hawke from Dragon Age 2 is characterized by one of three different attitudes: friendly, grim, or sarcastic. So, that’s three attitudes times two genders, that’s six different Hawkes and three different possible Grey Wardens: Alistair, Loghain, or Stroud.  So, the process of going through Adamant Fortress and then going through the Fade was a crazy juggling act of trying to keep track of “Okay, now one of these five people, these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people, will say this line, and then another of these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people will respond with this line.”

It’s important to remember that as we went through everything in Adamant Fortress and the Fade was taking place in that contest. There was a long period time when we were looking at that really going, “Okay, I just have to hope this actually makes sense when it’s nothing but Alistair and my sarcastic female Hawke.”

But, to actually answer your question. As I recall, the Nightmare, who as a friendly, chipper guy was basically - I do basically two types of villains: I do the villain who thinks he or she is the hero, and is misguided and has opposed goals, and is kind of tragic and tortured in that way. And then I do the mean-girl villain who says snotty high school insults.

That’s it - that’s the gambit.

Well, just about, yes. I’m looking forward to see who writes the villain in the future Dragon Age games - so get ready for either tragic pathos or really, really good high school mean-girl zingers.

As I recall, he was speaking Elven to Solas and if I remember right, he said, “Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong” and I think he said “You will die alone.” And then Solas said something that translates to either “Nothing is known for certain” or “Not necessarily.”

And what does all that mean?

Well I think it’s fascinating that people are emotionally engaged, and I hope we have the chance -

It was a very asked question - it was a question that was asked a lot. Specific to that.

Oh, I’m not surprised, and I hope one day that we can tell you. But, obviously, that demon knows that Solas is hurting and Solas feels guilty about some stuff and really wanted to dig in there, and Solas was shouting back.

Literally just describing what happened (laughs). All right, so something that will clearly be talked about in other games.

TIme: 36:22

Dealing with this particular quest I really think that this was one opportunity to involve the Grey Wardens in a story, and a world, that kind of progressingly, after the first game had less and less of a need to exist - let alone in the world - but in the main characters arc. Talking to David I remember initially there was some idea for this particular mission they would just fall into the hole and be hanging out in the Deep Roads, and having out with the dwarves, so tell us a little bit about this creation.

A lot of the process of writing these large plots, like I talked about the razor, you figure out what the core concept is, you always start with a lot of things, and in most cases what you then end up having to do is cut. And if you’re not someone in the studio, talking about having to cut things sounds like you’re losing awesome content, you’re ruining what would have been clearly the best part of the plot. Inside the studio though, most cases what you’re cutting is the stuff that didn’t actually help tell the story you wanted to tell.

So yes in the original version, in a very early draft, actually this was before I was actually on the plot - this predates me - there was, yes, going into the Deep Roads, and when you fell in instead of ending up in the Fade you ended up down in the dark. And finding out what the Grey Wardens in this version of the story had been involved with the Architect from Dragon Age: Awakening. It was an interesting direction, and it was, I think, a very cool direction, but it did not help tell the story of the Inquisition. It was more a story of “Hey, if we wanted to do more with the Hero of Fereldan, here is an interesting place we could go” and it did not help tell the story of “What is the Inquisition doing?” “What is Corypheus doing?”, “How do these two organizations bounce off each other and who’s caught in the middle?” So trying to come to terms with the Grey Wardens in this game not being the protagonists, not being the group that is in the center of the action but being the group that is caught in the middle of this power struggle was something that led to us having to eventually do the re-jiggering that got us to the plot you saw.

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 2/24/21

SEAN: As I write this, Texas is being hit with blizzards. Why not curl up… in your dark house with no power… with some manga?

Airship gives us the print volume of the 2nd I’m in Love with the Villainess, and also a print volume for Skeleton Knight in Another World 8.

ASH: I haven’t finished reading the first volume of I’m in Love with the Villainess quite yet, but I suspect I’ll want to pick up the second.

SEAN: Denpa’s site says that The Girl with the Sanpaku Eyes 2 is out next week.

J-Novel Club has a trio of light novels. By the Grace of the Gods 6, Campfire Cooking in Another World 9, and The Greatest Magicmaster’s Retirement Plan 8.

On the manga side, they have The Faraway Paladin 4 and Seirei Gensouki: Spirit Chronicles 5.

Kodansha has two print debuts, though we’ve seen them both digitally before. Cells at Work: Baby! is essentially the superdeformed version of the series.

ASH: I enjoyed the original series, but haven’t managed to keep up with all the spinoffs!

SEAN: A Sign of Affection (Yubisaki to Renren) is one that I’ve gushed about before, but here I am gushing about it again. This story of a boy and girl meeting and falling in love, it’s all about communication, as our heroine is hearing impaired, and our globe trotting hero does not know sign language. Fans of Kimi ni Todoke should check this out.

MICHELLE: I missed this when it was a digital debut, so I’m grateful for a second chance at it.

ANNA: Amazingly, this is one of the very few Kodansha digital titles that I have read, and it is absolutely wonderful. It is by suu Morishita, so fans of Shortcake Cake should absolutely pick it up. I’m sure I bought the first couple volumes digitally due to Sean’s gushing and just never posted about it. Morishita does some wonderfully innovative storytelling as the two main characters figure out how to communicate with each other, and the hearing-impaired heroine is portrayed with great sensitivity. I’m so rooting for Yuki and her first real romance!!

ASH: I’m really looking forward to reading this one now that it’s in print. Can’t pass it up with recommendations like that.

MELINDA: Well, how can I possibly resist after that glowing recommendation?

SEAN: Also in print: Heaven’s Design Team 3. The anime is currently airing.

ASH: I have legitimately learned things about animal life reading this series.

SEAN: Digitally the debut is How Do You Do, Koharu? (Gokigenyou, Koharu-san), by the author of (and in the same universe as) Say I Love You. Koharu (the younger sister of Yamato, the male lead in Say I Love You) prefers to keep her friends solely on the digital side… till she’s tempted by a follower who she might want to be more than just friends with. This runs, of course, in Dessert. I hope it is a bit less drama-filled than its parent series.

MICHELLE: I’d seen this one on the release calendar but didn’t realize it had any connection to Say I Love You. Interesting!

SEAN: We also see DAYS 22, Harem Marriage 2, Maid in Honey 6 (the final volume), My Best () Butler 6, My Unique Skill Makes Me OP Even at Level 1 2, Shangri-La Frontier 2, What I Love About You 3, and When We’re in Love 5.

Seven Seas’s biggest debut may be one that came out first nearly 10 years ago. After a period where it seemed that you couldn’t go a week without a new volume, the Alice in the Country of _________ series vanished, allegedly due to licensing difficulties with the original creator. But now it’s back… in digital form! It’s getting rolled out over several weeks. This week we get The Clockmaker’s Story and Love Labyrinth of Thorns (Julius) and The Mad Hatter’s Late Night Tea Party 1 & 2 (Blood).

ANNA: I think I’m tapped out of Alice in the Country of stories but I’m amused to see these being released again.

ASH: Oh, wow! I had somehow previously missed this news.

SEAN: In actual new titles, the debut is Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon (Kaketa Tsuki to Donuts), a yuri office romance story that runs in Comic Yuri Hime. Always happy to see more non-high school students.

And there is The Ancient Magus’ Bride: Wizard’s Blue 2, Days of Love at Seagull Villa 2, Failed Princesses 3, and How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? 5.

MICHELLE: I still haven’t even read volume 1 of Seagull Villa!

SEAN: Square Enix Manga debuts Ragna Crimson, a Gangan Joker title whose summary has the words “dark fantasy” and “revenge-fueled quest” and I stopped caring.

In much better Square Enix manga news, we get A Man and His Cat 3.

MICHELLE: Yay!

MELINDA: Yes!

SEAN: Apologies to Tentai Books, I missed their debut light novel which is actually out later this week. World Teacher: Special Agent in Another World (World Teacher: Isekaishiki Kyouiku Agent) is another of those books where the plot is described by the title.

Tokyopop has a debut. The Cat Proposed (Bakeneko Katatte Sourou) is a one-shot BL title from Canna. A man watches a play and sees one of the actors has cat ears. Turns out he’s a bakeneko, and has chosen our protagonist as his spouse!

There’s also the 3rd and final volume of Still Sick.

Vertical has Ajin: Demi-Human 16 and Bakemonogatari’s 7th manga volume.

Yen On has had a few date shifts (try to contain your shock), but we do get a few new volumes this week… and two old ones, as Haruhi Suzumiya 3 and 4 get reprints. 4 is considered the series’ high point.

And there is Do You Love Your Mom (and Her Two-Hit, Multi-Target Attacks?) 8, The Greatest Demon Lord Is Reborn As a Typical Nobody 5, In the Land of Leadale 2, Konosuba 13, and May These Leaden Battlegrounds Leave No Trace 3.

There’s also a Yen Press title I missed last week, as it’s out this Saturday. Megumi Hayashibara’s The Characters Taught Me Everything: Living Life One Episode at a Time is her new memoir, and Yen is putting it out digitally the same day it comes out in Japan!

ASH: I really hope this is released in print at some point, too! It should be really good.

SEAN: Because of various delays and date shifts, Yen Press has FIVE manga debuts next week. We start with Adachi & Shimamura, the manga version of which we’ve already seen the light novel and the anime. Please enjoy Adachi’s gay panic and Shimamura’s attempts to be a functioning human being in a new medium. This runs in Dengeki Daioh.

Days on Fes is a series about two friends going to rock festivals, and that’s about all it is, from what I hear. Sounds like a Laid-Back Camp vibe. This runs in Comic Newtype.

ASH: Oh, that could fun.

MELINDA: I might be into this? As someone who used to go to a lot of music festivals, that is.

SEAN: The Girl without a Face (Kao ga Nai Onnanoko) is a one-shot from Comic Beam. A boy and girl are in love. She’s a bit… expressionless – literally – but that’s just fine. This looks both cute and spooky?

ASH: This could be fun, too!

SEAN: Golden Japanesque – A Splendid Yokohama Romance is the sort of josei title folks were BEGGING for ten years ago. It runs in Flowers’ online magazine, and its author did Kare First Love, for Viz fans with long memories. A Meiji-era title about a half-Japanese girl who’s discriminated against and the boy who thinks she’s a fairy-tale character.

MICHELLE: Ooh! I actually do own all of Kare First Love, as it happens.

ANNA: I am a Viz fan with a long memory and I think I own most of Kare First Love too. I am officially intrigued and will be picking this up.

ASH: Same!

MELINDA: Same here!

SEAN: Lastly there is ID:Invaded #Brake-Broken, a title which hurts me when I try to say it out loud. It’s the sequel to the anime, and runs in Young Ace.

We also get Eniale & Dewiela 2, Mieruko-chan 2, Overlord: The Undead King-Oh! 6, The Saga of Tanya the Evil 13, Slasher Maidens 2, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun 7, The White Cat’s Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King’s Lap 2, and A Witch’s Love at the End of the World 2.

ASH: I’ll likely be picking up a few of those, too.

SEAN: What manga melts the weather all around you?

By: Sean Gaffney

[murfeelee]

Video Games Pt3: Video Game Challenge

I saw this list on Pinterest out of nowhere, and what better way to ring in the new year than with another questionnaire, about my favorite pastime! This is the spiritual successor to Part 1 and Part 2.

Day 1 - Very first video game: Pacman and/or Mortal Kombat and/or Samurai Shodown on arcade machines (way back in the day when laundromats had arcade machines and gumball machines and such in them--good times, good times U_U); Tetris on computers; and a buttload of PS1 titles (again: back in the good ole days when consoles came with promo demo discs--I had Frogger, Need for Speed, Medieval, and a bunch of others).

Day 2 - Your favorite character: Here’s my Top 10 Males post and Top 10 Females post.

Day 3 - A game that is underrated: I will preach the greatness of PS1′s Legend of Dragoon till my dying day. It was doomed to dwell in Final Fantasy 7′s shadow, which came out earlier that same year, and it’s a real shame, cuz LoD was E V E R Y T H I N G.

My favorite aspects of the game are:

Its lore and worldbuilding. On top of the fact that the premise of the game is could be an anime series in its own right, you just get SO EXCITED to visit each new location, and uncover more about the world’s history, and see the different architecture, technologies, cultures and different races (I LOVE the Winglies, of course). It’s actually a gorgeous game for its time.

The combat -- I STILL have some of the Addition patterns memorized to this very day! They get progressively harder as you level up, but once you get used to the timing you feel so dang good. Die, More and More!

The soundtrack and cutscenes. The NOSTALGIA? O_O Bruh. The story is just really good, and was the very first video game to make me cry when certain...events...happened. Play the game and find out for yourself!

Day 4 - Your guilty pleasure game: The Sims, Dragon Age...any and all EA games. Effing ashamed of myself every time I give that nest of corporate demons at Electronic Farts money. “Surprise mechanics” my arse. 

Day 5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were): Has Jar Jar Binks been in a video game yet? Then that’s me. XD But I wish I was most like Lara Croft, as explained in my Top 10 Females post.

Day 6 - Most annoying character: For females it’s Lightning from Final Fantasy 13, and for males it’s Vaan, from Final Fantasy 12. I don’t mind as much when supporting characters are effing annoying (Vanille, Hope, etc), but when it’s the MAIN protagonist?! WHY, Square Enix? WHY.

Lightning was just a negative nancy debbie downer. I wish they had swapped Serah and Lightning, I seriously do. I just couldn’t stand her dry and soulless personality. She wasn’t being edgy or bada** or cool or sexy or FANG or anything; she was just a bitter jaded unhappy wench.

And with Vaan I just effing hate that dude. Why was he even there? They tried so hard to make this pushy entitled kid relevant, but I was like no, the story could’ve easily been told without him, and I wish it had been; he’s a effing idiot.

Day 7 - Favorite game couple: Yuna and Tidus from FFX (hardest I ever cried playing a video game -- THE FEELS I TELL YOU).

Day 8 - Best soundtrack: I used to think it was Skyrim, but nope, it’s Witcher 1, 2 and 3. Just listen to ALL of the songs CDPR ever produced for the entire franchise, including all the unreleased tracks, and enjoy the eargasm.

Day 9 - Saddest game scene: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice had me legit depressed for a good week. Get your tissues and holy water ready; it’s seriously effed up. The entire game is the saddest I ever played, jfc.

Day 10 - Best gameplay: Witcher 3, duh. Main quests, side quests, combat, dialogue, plot, graphics, worldbuilding, creatures, bosses, soundtrack, characters, Gwent, NEED I GO ON.

Day 11 - Gaming system of choice: Playstation for life. But the Nintendo Switch is effing brilliant, ngl; once they put Skyrim & The Witcher on it I was like SOLD.

Day 12 - A game everyone should play: At least ONE Final Fantasy game. There’s 15+, and Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts. It’s not just a game, it’s an experience.

As much as I rag on FF13 and FF15, they’re still admittedly LEAGUES better than a lot of other crap out there. I just happen to feel that Square Enix is out of its frikkin mind lately, and tbh I’ve been rapidly losing my hype for the FF7 Remake. I was never much of a FF7 fan to begin with, aside from being a rabid Sephiroth fangirl and watching Advent Children a billion times. But Square’s gotta be drunk as a skunk if they think I’m paying all that money for god knows how many of these effing “episodes” they’re gonna piecemeal us to dangit death with. HAYUL no. I’d rather not get too attached.

Day 13 - A game you’ve played more than five times:

Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper: Huh?

Day 15 - What game are you playing right now: Speak of the devil, I’m replaying God of War for the zillionth time already.

Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes: In terms of graphics and story impact IMO might be Red Dead Redemption 2. That game was frikkin gorgeous, and the story was SO DANG GOOD. Braithwaite Manor!? O_O

Day 17 - Favorite antagonist: For females it’s either Edea from FF8, or Yunalesca from FFX. For dudes it’s Sephiroth, from FF7. That man needs some serious counseling.

Day 18 - Favorite protagonist: Yuna from FFX for the ladies, and TW3′s Geralt of Rivia for the dudes. 

Day 19 - A game world you would like to live in: The more Middle Eastern-inspired scifi/steampunki-medievalesque world of Ivalice from FF12, or the medieval French/Swiss Toussaint from The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.

Day 20 - Favorite genre: RPGs and JRPGs, and pretty much action-adventure games with swords and sorcery.

Day 21 - Game with the best story: Red Dead Redemption, which is a good thing and a bad thing. A lot of the time I felt I was watching a movie, rather than playing a game. But it was still an Oscar worthy movie. XD

Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you: Technically it hasn’t come out yet, but from what we’ve seen of the Nioh 2 beta release, omfg what’s going on? U_U Now, don’t get me wrong! Nioh 2 looks AMAZING. But....that’s cuz it looks exactly like Nioh 1, just with new yokai gameplay thrown in. o_O Uh...is this a DLC expansion pack or what? Cuz it sure ain't lookin like a full-fledged sequel! :P Dare I call it an asset flip. Come on, don’t do this; do MORE. Unless this is actually an expansion you’ll sell for half the price. ;)

Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style: For graphics it’s RDR2, but for most unique art style it’s always been Okami for me. <3

Day 24 - Favorite classic game: Spyro the Dragon. Their reboot for PS4 was AMAZING.

Day 25 - A game you plan on playing: Cyberpunk 2077. I’m so bummed, knowing the game’s been delayed to September 2020 instead of April, but oh well. As long as CDPR gives us that master-class level of Polish we all know and love from The Witcher 3, then take as much time as you need, I guess. At least they’re not like effing EA or Bethesda. XD

Day 26 - Best voice acting: BOY. Freaking iconic, Kratos. :P

Day 27 - Most epic scene ever: Ciri beating the absolute tastebuds outta Caranthir in TW3, not once but twice. Most OP Witcher EVER, girl; WERK.

Day 28 - Favorite game developer: Though I effing hate them, I’m still a Square Enix fangirl at heart. It’s just saddening to see this weird turn they’ve been making recently, with garbage like the Quiet Man, and especially with Final Fantasy, my favorite game series of all time. U_U I’m not looking forward to the FF7 Remake anymore, tbh. I just hope FF16 is more of a return to form.

Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving: Skyrim. I was never a big fan of Elder Scrolls games, and when Skyrim came out I was very meh at first. But then the mods started coming out for it and I was like wow. O_O

Day 30 - Your Favorite game of all time: Legend of Dragoon on PS1, Final Fantasy X on PS2, Skyrim on PS3/PC, The Witcher 3 on PS4, and The Sims on PC.

________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

[moistwithgender]

Monthly Media Roundup (April 2019)

April was a bit of a disaster month for me, and as such I didn’t get much of anything finished. Old wounds got reopened, I was sick all month, I had an unavoidably bad birthday, and a lifelong pet died. I didn’t engage with a lot of things, and mostly slept. I did play a lot of Breath of the Wild, but seeing as I didn’t finish that, I’m not including it yet. Here’s the things I did finish:

Games:

Blaster Master Zero (Switch): I actually first bought and finished this two years ago, and since the sequel has come out I decided to replay it with the Shovel Knight DLC character. While I genuinely like this game (I 100%’d it both times), I was not really in a good spot to enjoy this playthrough, and just kinda mindlessly pushed through it for nine consecutive hours, beating it in that single sitting. Playing as a DLC character removes the story, which is fine since they’re intended for replays, though I wonder if it added to my emotional disconnect. SK doesn’t receive fall damage, and so the precariousness of navigating the world outside of the highly-mobile tank doesn’t exist nearly as much, though the trade-off is that SK’s combat abilities in dungeons are hindered by an overall lack of range. The game is still rather easy, though, so I can’t say any particular level cadences or combat scenarios carved their way into my memory.

To the game’s credit, though, the things that are good about it are still good. If you have an attachment to the original NES game, or an interest in retro properties, or just want a nice, breezy platformer, it’s very good. It’s interesting in how it repurposes the altered plot of the US version of the original game (where it was its most popular), including even the plot of the little novelization that came out because Gotta Get Those Video Game Kids to Read Something. It has a fake out ending, and if you 100% the maps it unlocks a final map that is genuinely surreal enough to be the highlight of the game. Despite my sighing, it is a genuinely good time, and I’m very curious to play the new game, somewhat hilariously titled Blaster Master Zero 2.

Anime:

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I chewed through the last four episodes of this so that I could say I finally finished the season. I didn’t watch the post-season recap episode. TenSura (the abbreviation of the Japanese title, which I will use to refer to it because satisfyingly abbreviating the english title is impossible) is not a very good show, but for about half the length of the 24-episode first season, it fascinates due to how it functions at all. TenSura is an isekai show, much like the other isekai shows, where a person dissatisfied with their life is brutally murdered (usually by a truck. USUALLY by a truck) and is reborn in a fantasy world that coincidentally gives them an absurd advantage over other people, allowing them to live out all the decadence they felt they deserved in the real world. If this sounds like the most boring kind of wish fulfillment possible to you, that’s because it is. It’s also extremely popular with consumers. Which is interesting! I think the isekai boom is indicative of how late-stage capitalism everyday people the world over, that we envision or escape to worlds where your efforts actually return appropriate reward. A bonkers concept, to be sure.

In TenSura, the formula doesn’t stray much. The main character is a man in his 30s (?) who has never fucked and gets knifed to death while HEROICALLY saving a coworker from a plot-irrelevant stabber dude who was running down the sidewalk with his knife out for no reason besides Main Character Needs an Inciting Incident Now. It’s actually pretty weirdly violent for the start to a show that is almost entirely light-hearted. Dude dies, his coworker dumps his hard drive in the bath out of respect (lol), and he wakes up in a fantasy world that works on videogame logic, including loot, skill trees, and class upgrades. He is reborn as an adorable slime a la Dragon Quest, but the personality traits he had in his previous life (and I guess his choice of dying words) scan to obscenely convenient passive abilities that ensure he’s not only invincible, but will never stop experiencing exponential power growth. Also he immediately makes friends with a final boss-level dragon and then eats him. That’s how he makes friends in this sometimes.

I’m being very cynical here, but the core narrative loop (and it IS a loop) of the series kept my interest for longer than I expected. Rimuru (the name of the reborn protagonist) goes somewhere he hasn’t been, astonishes the nearby (sometimes violent) inhabitants with his overpowered abilities, makes friends with them, and then improves their lives with community. Goblins, direwolves, orcs, demon lords. It stacks and builds upon itself to absurd degrees but it’s interesting that in a genre loaded with very problematic stories of disenchanted dudes finally getting the underage harem they’ve always wanted (aaaaAAAAAAAAA) that the main concept of this series is improving the lives of others and giving them closure for the ways life has hurt them. Even if. Sometimes that hurt was the main character’s doing? Like Rimuru absolutely decapitates a direwolf leader and then adopts the pack who from then on absolutely LOVE the dude. Also one of Rimuru’s abilities is that if he gives a monster a name, it class upgrades, which is generally and reasonably seen as a life improvement. Though, these class upgrades are almost always decidedly “less-tribal” or outright human, which smacks of some imperialist thinking. It’s also something I’m sure I never questioned in old videogames growing up. Meanwhile, there’s also a bit with a woman who came from Japan during that one really bad war, you know the one, and the closure she’s given as she’s dying is handled with actual delicacy. It’s a weird series! It’s only a shame to me that after most of the first season, there was less to talk about. Sometime after the halfway mark, you realize the show is never going to maintain tension for more than half an episode, that all problems are solvable (yes, even terminally ill children), and that the show isn’t going anywhere you can’t predict. It’s a checklist show, and the plot points are a list of achievements being checked off one episode at a time.

I don’t think I would actually recommend the show to most people, despite how popular it is. It’s not a great show, but it does weird enough things for a while that it generates conversations. Which is honestly pretty okay. It’s a pretty okay show. Also, Rimuru is effectively nonbinary (with he pronouns), and that’s… somethin’! (24 episodes, finished 4/17/19, Crunchyroll (Funimation also now has the dub I think? Clips I saw were pretty weird, Rimuru seemed to be characterized differently.))

Manga:

Nejimaki Kagyu Vol 1: You would think a manga that immediately starts with a reference to Phantom Blood would be, well, at least interesting.

Okay maybe invoking a beloved work doesn’t actually mean anything. I just wanted to share this blatant callback. Nejimaki Kagyu is a seinen manga about a highschool teacher whose tragically cursed to, uh, have all teenage girls fall in love with him. And the highschool-age childhood friend of his who has spent her whole life obsessed with him and learning super martial arts to defend his chastity. Her supers make her clothes explode.

…

I take no joy in this travesty.

Anyway, uh. The biggest tragedy here is that the art is actually really good, though the paneling is regularly squished around to hilarious degree. Let’s look at some pages and then forget this manga exists forever.

That horror face is how I feel the entire series should be portraying itself. The manga has a distinct lack of self-awareness.

The fan translation for this series appears to have dropped off halfway through and hasn’t been picked up for years, and based on reviews I saw on MAL talking about the directionlessness of the later volumes, I wonder if the translator got fed up with the series. Oh well!

Kyou no Asuka Show Vol 1: Oh god damn it I just got done with talking about a series about ogling the youth.

BLEASE STOP

Okay so. Kyou no Asuka Show, or “Today’s Asuka Show” is an older slice of life manga by the same author I mentioned previously who is doing an edutainment series about people working in a condom factory. Innocently-minded women in comedically lewdish situations appears to be his whole bag. I think Asuka is pretty charming, but I also know she’s designed to appeal to my monkey male gaze. Obliviously sexy is very much a mood, and in a more adult context I would be all for it. There have been a few chapters where I find myself at odds with the wisdom the author is attempting to impart, sometimes through Asuka’s father, who works as an adult photographer, and doesn’t want his daughter involved in anything that could cause her to be ogled. Like, that’s already something that requires a lot of unpacking in the modern day. Aforementioned wisdom sometimes takes the form of Asuka doing something stupid and innocent and ripe for objectifying, like wearing a school swimsuit in a rainstorm. Or she’ll work a job as a cute girl courier and inadvertently turn a shut-ins life around. Situations where, if it were in real life, I’d think “wow that’s weird and charming,” but by being a work of intentional authorship, it inherently loses some of that innocence, and becomes something well-meaning but problematic. Is that the second time I’ve used the word “problematic” in this post? Is this 2014?

I may continue reading this, but I really can’t recommend it to most people I know in 2019 without several disclaimers and also without probably getting some side eye. I think it’s worth a couple chapters to feel out what its doing before you decide whether you can siphon the charm from it, or would rather move on to something else.

Me enjoying myself when this manga tries to suddenly get up to some shit.

Blue Period Vol 1: This is the last thing on my list, because I don’t want to expand this list beyond the three mediums I’ve already assigned to it. Also, I actually finished this May 1st, but I wanted to talk about it now.

If I had the power to actually get people to engage with a specific work once per month, Blue Period would easily be the one I pick. That doesn’t mean as much when all the other things I finished this month were conflicted experiences, but I really think everyone would benefit from this series. Or at least anyone with even a passing interest in visual arts.

Blue Period (named for Picasso’s Blue Period) is about a highschool delinquent who has a knack for studying, a safe social life, and no interests in pretty much anything. He’s on the road to do fine in his life, and he doesn’t question it much, but that’s it, until he discovers art and realizes it’s the only way he’s ever been able to truly communicate his feelings. It changes everything about him, for more emotionally satisfying reasons, but also riskier ones. He only has one year of highschool to go to decide what he’s doing with his life, and Japan has a very strict education system. You’re not really allowed to just “get around” to things.

Apologies in advance if you’re tired of me spamming full pages but I really do wanna show this off. This is another series with an educational angle to it, though the emphasis is definitely more rooted in a personal narrative of growth. The explanations of art practice and the functionality of exercises and tools are both very informative and relevant to the characters, never feeling like the story is taking a backseat to explain. The characters are, hilariously, everyone I’ve ever met in an art class. There’s the kid who would rather exclusively draw the things they like, there’s the kid who likes art as a hobby but haaaates being given a project, etc etc. There are students who have an innate grasp on how to draw but haven’t internalized the Why of the exercises, and students who are receptive to the lessons but don’t have the ability to match. The narrative is extremely even-handed towards all of these different levels of skills, and places a lot more importance on why, emotionally, you should totally care about drawing apples and water pitchers for five hours at a time. It’s GREAT and I want to force it on every creative I’ve ever known.

Another thing I appreciate about this series so far is that while there has been something resembling sexual/romantic tension, it’s kind of not like that at all? In the first volume I haven’t been able to pinpoint where a potential relationship subplot would go, if at all. Two possibilities are this girl:

...who is a very likable character but surprisingly doesn’t fit into that box of “standard love interest”. The protag’s interactions with her have been exclusively respectful and admiring, which doesn’t even necessarily imply a romantic subplot, but would be pretty cool if it did? And the other girl:

...who is featured in decidedly more sexual tension-y contexts, is actually TRANS. The manga actually portrays them so uncompromisingly feminine that I didn’t realize they were crossdressing (the term used in the text) until the author’s notes at the end of the volume. I will partially blame this on me being out of it this month, since I just went back to their introduction and yep, they got misgendered and contested it. Given how the character is regularly framed (confident, attractive, skilled, nonstereotypical), I’m… pretty okay with this! If a romance blooms between a delinquent boy and a trans girl, that’s amazing.

I hope y’all understand where I’m coming from in expecting a shoehorned romantic subplot. I’m not hoping for one, I just know the product by now. And if it happens, the options are considerably more interesting than usual.

These are pretty good kids.

Manga licensing is a lot better nowadays than it ever was before, with lots of obscure series being picked up, old series getting re-localized, and translations being better than ever. I really really want this series to get licensed so someone can be compensated for it, and so more people might read it. Until then, I think you should look up the fan work.

---

So that’s all for April. If these posts included live-action movies, I’d have talked about Endgame, but I also don’t want to go spoiling anything for someone who still wants to go see that (it’s probably one of my favorite MCU movies, though). I read most of 1970-71 in Marvel comics, or at least most of the issues on my reading list, but I semi-liveblog about those, so you can just search my “curry reads comics” tag for that. Here’s hoping I have more interesting, more positive things to say about May in a month. I expect to finish Breath of the Wild by then, so I’ll finally talk about that. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far! Go check out Blue Period.

[magic-and-myths]

Dragonfly Masterpost

Recently I’ve gained an immense amount of followers (thanks so much I love all of you, keep writing you’re all worth it) and I thought I’d get y’all up to speed on where Dragonfly is at.

Summary: Dragonfly is a high/Celtic fantasy story in which I break every single expectation and hope any fantasy reader has ever had. I also explore the depths of humanity, the repercussions of physically existing gods, and whatever the hell magic is. It centers mostly around young adults and immortal beings (it’s a good mix trust me), and is a little gory for YA but I’m not exactly sure what age group I’m aiming for.

Characters: I have four main characters, and one antagonist who I love more than anything.  We have Rin, the shy but knowledgeable bard who may not be very good at fighting, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. He worships Tora, the goddess of the night sky, and his faith is absolute. He’s the hardest for me to write because my faith is very shakable  while his is not. Fern is a druid who travels with her lovable animal companions Sanji the stag, and Mira the screech owl. She’s always looking on the bright side and being a ray of sunshine (this is also hard for me to write), but if anyone threatens her adventuring family or her god (Kolesh, god of nature) she won’t hesitate to beat the crap out of them with her living wood staff or awesome botany skills. Zoe is genius inventor and engineer with rune crafting skills that are completely unmatched. She’s brash and confident and will never back down from any fight. She abandoned her origin god, Tunosi goddess of knowledge, in favor of Halor, the god of strength. If there’s the slightest bit of trouble she will instantly be in the fray, throwing flaming punches or pulling various explosives out of her signature enchanted dress that HAS POCKETS?! Kaya is the main focus of the first book. She’s a conjurer of immense power but limited social skills. As a child she was abused and then abandoned after her only parent figure, her sister, died (more on that later). She begged all the gods for help, and when none came she decided to fend for herself. This has led her to become an unfiltered pessimist, and an anarchist whose been trying to overthrow the gods for years. Despite this, she’s caring and always ready to help someone in need, just maybe not to trust them. “What’s the point of having power if you don’t use it to help a little kid?” And last but not least is Luma, the antagonist. At the start of the novel Luma has been dead for eight years. She was slain in a struggle known as the Wasting of the Wandering Woods, cut down by the Brightbringers, armored knights loyal to Orathia, goddess of the sun (it was in this battle that Kaya’s sister was killed).  Luma is a chosen one. She was born with a gift for magic. She can physically see it, flowing around the world. This has allowed her to master all eight types of magic when nobody other than the gods has even managed more than one. She believes (correctly) the gods have become corrupt, vain, and complacent, and is doing her absolute best to get them the frick outta town. Even if she has to kill every civilian that gets in her way.

World: Oh boy is this the best part. I have spent years with this world stuck inside my head, and now it’s coming out. So everyone, meet Arcana. Arcana is a forest covered world, geographically based on the North Eastern portion of North America. It’s an old world with old rules and threats that boil just beneath the leafy green exterior. It’s ruled by eight gods, eight forms of magic, and eight chaotic beasts called “terrors.” It is not a world of kings, or empires, or armies. It’s a world of individual people, doing their absolute best to survive in conditions that are so far out of their control. You see, magic and gods are dangerous to have around, and if you don’t have a god or magic on your side the people who do are going to murder the crap outta you. You won’t find any civilization larger than an alliance of city states, and even those aren’t safe.

Plot: Surprise, Luma’s back! I’ll bet you didn’t see that coming. Haha I got you. After discovering that the woman who murdered her sister is no longer dead, Kaya sets off on a quest to kill her. She somehow manages to find Rin, Zoe, and Fern who tag along on this world saving quest. However, when Kaya realizes that she’s doing exactly what the gods want her to do, and that Luma might be her best shot at overthrowing the deities that failed her, she has a choice to make. She can side with the her sister’s killer and cleanse the world of hypocrisy and corruption, and leave nothing but ash behind, or she can side with the gods that she so despises and save a world that will always be ruled by fear.

Title: At this point you’re probably thinking “wow Nathan Dragonfly is a super badass title, how did you come up with it?” Well first off, thank you dear reader, I’m flattered. And secondly: I made up a myth. In Arcana there’s an ancient myth that when the gods were creating animals, the created the dragonfly. But soon they became jealous of its beauty, and sought to destroy it. However they had made the dragonfly too fast, and could not catch it. So now the dragonfly lives on, both faster and more beautiful than the gods, but always having to look over its shoulder. The dragonfly is never safe. You can probably tell that Kaya is a dragonfly. While she’s not beautiful in the typical boring way, her soul is ablaze with beauty and strength far beyond what the gods could imagine. And she’s much faster than they are. (now you all can see why my name’s magic and myths we have plenty of both here).

What it’s not: If you’re looking for any of these things then I’m sorry, because they are not going to be in Dragonfly. I hope you find them though, sometimes I’m sad I’m not writing about them. 1. a chosen one story. Nobody in this book was chosen for anything. They’re all fighting and running and living and dying on their own strength and merit. There are no prophesies. Although I do include some predictions of the future from Tora in the night sky, they’re mostly to validate how much prophesies do not belong in this story. 2. a battle saga on an epic scale. I mentioned this earlier, but there are no massive armies in Arcana. I find them unrealistic in the setting and very impersonal. If someone is swinging a sword in this story you know their name, and why they’re swinging. 3. a romance. There is little to no romance in this book. Feel free to ship all you want, but chances are that nothing is making it into the final cut. This isn’t because I’m a heartless monster who wants all of my characters to die alone and afraid. I just think that romance is going to get in the way of the story that I’m trying to tell. And we need more I-will-die-for-you platonic relationships anyways. 4. anything edgy. While some of my themes and situations can get really dark really fast, writing edgy just isn’t my style. There will be very few dramatic or somber moments in this book. My characters are human, and they try to undercut fear or awkwardness with humor just like anybody. My writing style is made to not take itself seriously. Characters will poke fun at names like the Wasting of the Wandering Woods. Why so much alliteration? Was this made for a children’s story? 5. filled with fantasy races. I’m going to do my absolute best to represent humans from all different races, as far as fantasy races go we have jack squat in Dragonfly. I find that humans are dramatic, complicated, and interesting enough on their own; they don’t need help from outside species. While I do have various creatures like fae and spirits and dragons, they are not widespread or civilized. Humans are all we have, and oh boy is it still enough.

[meonlyred]

Tagged by @arideya​! Oh man, I really had to think about this one and try to remember 25+ years of gaming. 

Tagging @hydrospanners​, @uldren-sov​, @hoiist​, @greyias​, @lieutenantker and anyone else who wants to do it!

favorite game from the last 5 years?  ‒ SWTOR. Though technically it’s older than 5 years. But it has continued to dominate most of my life for the past 5 years.

most nostalgic game? ‒ Legends of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It was the first 3D game I ever played. Also Lineage the Blood Pledge, it was the first MMO I played. (God I do and also don’t miss that game.)

game that deserves a sequel?  ‒ Mass Effect Andromeda! FUCKING FIGHT ME!!

game that deserves a remaster?  ‒ Morrowind, Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Kotor 1 and 2 and Final Fantasy 6 and 9. 

favorite game series?  ‒ Mass Effect and Fallout

favorite genre?  ‒ Sci-fi shooter/RPG hybrids.

least favorite genre?  ‒ Racing and sport games.

favorite song from a game?  ‒ If we’re talking original score for a game then Vode An Gra'tua Cuun Ka'rta Tor from Republic Commandos. But if we’re talking songs that appear in a game, then the entire soundtrack to Tales from the Borderlands. It was wild playing that game for the first time because half that soundtrack was already on my playlists. The other half got added shortly afterwards. 

favorite character from a game?  ‒ I’ve had a lot of game characters I’ve loved but I can safely say that Theron Shan is undisputedly my favorite.

favorite ship from a game? ‒ Kaidan and Shepard and Theron and the Commander.

favorite voice actor from a game? ‒ Oh man, I dunno. There are so many good ones. Matt Mercer comes to mind because of his ridiculous range. Troy Baker, I know a lot of people will say he is over rated but fucking-a there is a reason he is used so much. Mark Bazeley, because his voice answers the question of “can you be attracted to a voice alone?” The answer is yes... very much so, yes. Darin De Paul, Sumalee Montano, and Courtenay Taylor are others I really like. 

favorite cutscene?  ‒ The Secret World: Life Imitating Art

favorite boss?  ‒ Oh man, really I can’t say. I like any boss that has old school phrases to them. 

first console?  ‒ (I’m going to show my age) Commodore 64. I wasn’t born when it came out. But my dad had bought it and we were really poor, so it was the only thing we had from as far back as I can remember until 1996 when we got the N64. 

current console or consoles?  ‒ lol console. PC all the way from now until forever.

console you want?  ‒ None, unless upgrades to my computer count.

place from a game that you’d like to visit?  ‒ Nar Shaddaa, it’s my favorite trash planet and I get excited at every Star Wars game that allows you to visit. 

place from a game that you’d like to live in?  ‒ I mean???? Most places in a video game get destroyed, attacked, or some other generally bad thing happens there or at least to that world. But if we’re just going by looks then maybe the city from Transistor. It has this gorgeous neo noir aesthetic. But then it does kinda halfway get erased... sooooo, yeah..... 

ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun?  ‒ The other day it was really foggy at work and we got joking how several years ago a lot of game companies were taking to cash in on the racing game fad. Which lead us to how funny a Silent Hill/Mario Krat racing game would be.

book that would make a good game?  ‒ If we’re talking story wise, honestly none. Games have a unique format that are very hard to translate from another media. But if we’re talking making a video game set in that world that doesn’t have to adhere to a set story then maybe something like the Dresden Files or another book set in an urban paranormal setting. 

show/movie that would make a good game? ‒  Kinda the same thing as with a book. But if I had to choose I would want to play a game set in The Expanse. 

games you want to play?  ‒ CYBERPUNK 2077!! and Star Citizen

have you gotten 100% completion in a game?  ‒ Most games honestly. Unless it’s a Bethesda game or a MMO. I’m very much a completionist and will do every quest, open very crest, explore every inch of the map. Games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age I will make several different characters so I can make different choices, romance different npcs, and take different dialogue choices so I can see everything.

have you cried over a game?  ‒ Yes... many times. Both because the story was emotional. And sometimes because the ending so badly I was heartbroken. 

what power-up or ability would you want in real life?  ‒ Being able to do an hours worth of questing and make a million dollars. 

[attract-mode-collective]

Scorpion Vs. Elon Musk’s Mom: FIGHT

Yes, that is indeed Elon Musk’s mother up there. And no, I do not have a bigger sized version of the pic. Guess we could always ask captain-price-official if one does exist.

Or perhaps make your own? Here’s Elon’s mum by herself (and in higher res)...

And with that, it’s time to see what else I tweeted during the first half of March! So, sticking with fighting games: which Street Fighter character does lighting better? Ryu, via the animated movie (via settei)...

… Or Bison, via the live action flick (via toghomevideo)...

I absolutely love win quotes from rom hacks (via bison2winquote)...

I have a massive backlog of games, yet Tekken 7 just shot straight to the top of the list, thanks to the knowledge that you can accurately recreate Dynamite Headdy characters (via mysterious0bob)...

This Hatsune Miku X Space Channel 5 figure is v. nice (via nendoroidoftheday)...

A friendly reminder to everyone that A. I'm a massive fan of Seaman & B. my birthday is about a month away (via nutastic)...

This scene at the beach with a Figma of Link, from A Link Between Worlds, feels more like Link's Awakening than anything else (via vyntic)...

Toys and models are no longer just for reenacting memorable in-game moments, they can also reproduce famous IRL events that surrounded the games themselves (via 8bitcentral)...

So what's the going rate for ET for the Atari 2600 that was supposedly dug up in for that so-called documentary, Atari: Game Over? Which I recently re-watched and still can't believe people think is real. At any rate, am assuming the autograph from Howard Scott Warshaw gives it some actual value (via it8bit)...

And what's the going rate for Chinese Famiclone karaoke carts, primarily one with Jackie Chan on the label. Am also wondering if it's cuz his songs are included... you are aware of his successful career in music as well, right? (via ulan-bator)...

Been struggling to come up with a zinger for the past 10 minutes, but ain't nuthin gonna beat "Welcome to the Velvet Room y'all!" (via jatayu)...

To be filed under: it's funny cuz it's true (via doctorbutler)...

So the weather has been awful around these parts, lots of rain & snow, which gets in the way of imagining a giant tetromino in the sky (via uvula.jp)...

When playing Super Mario Galaxy 2, please keep in mind that somewhere out there, despite being out of view, is the ghost of Luigi floating through vast stretches of empty space, with zero destination or purpose (via suppermariobroth)...

Speaking of Luigi, and Supper Mario Broth; they’ve taken the adventures he talks about in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and illustrated them in the form of a comic that closely adheres to the style of the game...

Also a friendly reminder of that rift between Mario & Luigi for a few years (they'd eventually make up & resume doing games together, as everyone knows) after Mario discovered his brother being all friendly with the enemy in Super Mario World (via peazy86)...

Yet another obscure Mario factoid: the move he uses to defeat Bowser in Super Mario 64 originates from an old furikake commercial that predates the game by about a decade (via suppermariobroth)...

Yet another random gif of Mario from the 80s, this one from a video guide from Super Mario Bros; I miss the days in which his look was not yet standardized (via suppermariobroth)...

And here we have a completely unlicensed Dr. Mario, unless Nintendo gave him the OK to brush up on his doctoring skills by assuming an alias at a family clinic in Houston TX (via suppermariobroth)...

It's funny how, when it comes to obscure Mario games, everyone brings up Mario Is Missing or Hotel Mario, but what about Super Mario Bros. & Friends: When I Grow Up? (via kazucrash)...

Mario gets his own breakfast cereal.

Luigi? Booze. (via @carolynmichelle)

A question that I posed on MAR10Day (via retrogamerblog)...

It's not Super Mario Bros, but simply…. Bros (via therubberfruit)...

I've never wanted something "bootleg" to be official as much as as this Dark Souls fan art. And if the actual game somehow looked like this, that would be... gladly welcomed (via gamefreaksnz)

Oh God, Nier is amazing and all, but I would SO be down for a yelling & screaming match with Yoko Taro on this point (via @Avisch_)...

Behold my fave Twitter thread in recent memory: "You see, that was taken from Africa, but it belonged to the Keyblade Masters. Imma take it off your hands for ya."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Gaia. A sword far heavier than any sword has rights to be, yet a true 1st Class will wield it with ease. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

"Nah, It was taken by British soldiers in Africa but it's actually from Hyrule. Originally crafted by the goddess Hylia herself. Only a true hero that is pure of heart and strong of body is capable of wielding the sacred blade. Don't trip, I'm gonna take it off your hands for you."

Naturally the star of Home Alone 1 & Home Alone 2 has both a NES Classic and Famicom Mini, like all Hollywood bigwigs (via @SimonParkin)...

While discussing Ready Player One with a colleague, was reminded of the dude who was so inspired by the book that he turned his apartment into an arcade (and then his fiancé broke up with him; via nydailynews.com)...

Recently there was some kind of event at Sega HQ, I think? Details are basically nonexistent due to the language barrier, but far as I can gather, 16 super fans were invited to come by & party (via @SEGA_OFFICIAL)...

... If you check out #セガ公式アカウントオフ会 you'll see numerous pics from the get-together, though the one thing that stands out is the assortment of Sega hardware (via @KK__Cy)...

... MIA, cuz no variants were on display, is my fave alt ver. of the Mega Drive: the Wondermega. But @yu100s took one of his own… with the ugly ass US Sonic 1 NOT FOR RESALE cart inserted, Jesus fucking Christ...

The Sega logo in katakana looks pretty hawt (via @Exciteless)...

... Yet the Sega logo in Arabic which is official, is even hawter (via boingboing.net)...

Please enjoy your daily recommended dosage of an erotic hospital-management sim (via @topherflorence)...

NCSX makes the fidget spinner comparison, though the fidget cube seems a bit more appropriate; behold the fidget game controller...

Toy Fair recently took place, and naturally I took tons of pictures. You can find all of them on my personal Instagram, though a few are worth re-posting here. Like the latest in NECA's line of classic movie characters, as they appeared in video game adaptations...

Though in the case of their take on the Alien vs. Predator arcade game, they even included Capcom's original characters...

Unpainted, pre-production figures from Reflection's upcoming Ghost 'N Goblins line, sporting the oh-so popular Kenner-eqsue retro look...

Pint-sized arcade cabs, available this fall for $400. They’ll come unassembled, though dead simple to put together; the construction of the assembled mini cab was surprisingly sturdy, plus the screen wasn't bad (contrary to the picture that my iPhone's camera paints). Though the controls were shit; no word on whether the parts can be swapped or not...

Was delighted to not not only see Cuphead merch at Toy Fair, but more than just one instance (though this was the only time I was allowed to take a picture)...

Came across a producer of infant goods that had a selection of Super Mario baby bibs...

I asked the rep if this was their first foray into video games and the answer was "Yes." And when asked who's been mostly buying them, was told "Video game collectors, who don't even have children… it's so bizarre!!!"

Sticking with bibs, here's a set that tied to Dragon Quest (via miki800.com)...

... I asked on Twitter what they said and @alexfkraus was kind enough to provide translations, here and here.

Was so inspired by @MinusWorld listing which characters he'd like to see in the next Super Smash Bros that I decided to cite a few of my own:

- Mona from WarioWare - Nester from Nintendo Power’s Howard & Nester comics - Link from that Japanese A Link To The Past commercial - A deck of Hanafuda cards

... BTW, had no idea Ollie also mentioned a Hanafuda; I only saw his initial four, initially! Anyhow, my second round of choices:

- Ashley from Another Code - The "who are you running from?" guy in the Game Boy Camera - Lucas from The Wizard - The 4WD from Stunt Race FX (since Fighters Megamix with the Daytona USA 2 car clearly ain't ever happening)

I alas forgot to include BoxBoy, much like how I got these Uniqlo shirts when they were on sale last year (via minusworld.co.uk)...

Here we have my fave reaction on Tumblr to the Nintendo Direct with the Smash 5 reveal, if only for the punchline (via mendelpalace)...

And here we have my fave reaction on Twitter (via @redford)...

This one is also great because wrestling (via @SteveYurko)...

Speaking of wrestling, remember that time Tazz, while commentating for Smackdown, was also playing a game of Final Fantasy X-2… or so he thought? (via defjamvendetta)

"hey quick question whoever's developing the wwe games now: what the fuck"

"It helps him eat small fish"

"better question: why isn't this an option in every game ever"

"FAIR POINT" (via snoozlebee)

Whereas most publishers in Japan, during the 80s & 90s, had festivals (or carnivals) centered around shmups, Asmik's was based on women's wrestling (via oldgamemags)...

It's not for a video game, though the illustration is by someone who has been involved in a few; it's by Satoshi Yoshioka, of Snatcher and Policenauts fame (via videogamesdensetsu)...

It's not for a video game that actually exists, but is instead a completely fictional instructional manual, one that makes you wish it was real (via tomeccles)...

Just when you think you've seen every ultra, wacky & obscure video game box art there is to see out there (via @CoolBoxArt)...

I have a serious soft sport for the usage of video game imagery among early 80s musicians (via siryl)...

... What the final product looks like BTW/FYI...

A. so there's a VR version of Fruit Ninja, did not know that, & B. if you like watching people play it (for whatever reason), yet wish you could actually see a person swinging a sword and not just some abstract swiping motions… here ya go (via prostheticknowledge)...

Playing games in VR is so 2017… Handling your collection of games in VR? Now THAT is very 2018 (via mendelpalace)...

Lots of friends are playing the new DBZ fighting game, though I'll give it a shot once it hits the arcades and is also in a cab like this (via @Fotosdecomics)...

I absolutely need to get my hands on this S.H. Figuarts Shinya Arino (via tinycartridge)...

Available right now, some Altered Beast, Bare Knuckles, and Rent-a-Hero resin kits (via miki800.com)...

Cursed? More like blessed amirite (via @Pretzel_Pup)...

I know Yoji Shinkawa is best buds with Hideo Kojima, but would he be open to doing another gig at Konami? Cuz him art directing a reboot of Twin Bee would kinda be the best (via @SESKOU)...

There's money on the table with this Metroid X Pepsi mash-up, am confident of this (via ryangilleece)...

Cuz even someone like Samus Aran needs a good stretch every once in a while (via jon-bliss)...

And this third piece of Metroid fan art in a row is very much related to Metroid 3, aka Super Metroid (even though it technically depicts the ending to Metroid 2; via mmillus)...

Awakening indeed (via brookietf)...

For those who have asked, yes, I have seen the hack that connects the Switch to an itty-bitty black & white TV...

Though I'm only really interested in tiny b&w CRT TVs if I can play Duck Hunt on them (via arcade-crusade)...

I not only dig teeny-tiny displays for light gun games, but also for driving games as well (perhaps some of you might remember the following from this)...

Back to tube displays; seeing Zelda on a CRT also reminded me of how Dark Souls look on a CRT, aka CRT Souls or 480i Souls (which again I'm hoping regular readers of the blog remember, especially since the original post has fallen victim to a Tumblr bug)...

"while playing king's field just now i died in the magic cave of fire and when i warped back there were beautiful graphical glitches everywhere" (via mendelpalace)...

Some landscapes, filled with beauty and mystery and terror, are accidental (see: the graphical glitches from before)… whereas others are completely deliberate, as in the case of Atlantia (via obscurevideogames)...

Once again, I REALLY need to figure out a way to play some PC88 games (via obscurevideogames)...

Here we have a semi-common Space Invaders sighting for the time, in an episode of Battle Fever J, one of the earliest Super Sentai shows (via himitsusentaiblog)...

And here we have a rare Game Gear sighting, in old OVA anime, Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko. Hell, it’s a rare Game Gear in anything sighting; the only other example that comes to mind is Rumble In The Bronx (via @TheOtaking)...

And an equally rare Sonic on the runway sighting (via kotaku.com)...

I normally watch a video in its entirety before making a recommendation. Yet when it came to this overview of Last Bronx's legacy in Japan (and lack thereof in the West), hearing the main theme to Beat Takeshi's Violent Cop near the 3 min mark was all I needed (have since watched the whole thing, and as expected, it's another awesome Kim Justice production)...

And finally, a friend notes: "subzero's right arm is real close to trump's spinal column

just sayin" (via @jbillinson)...

[maculategiraffe]

When you get this, post ten facts about yourself and pass this ask along to ten of your favorite followers. If you feel like it! This is a friendly, low pressure meme. :D

1. I have grapheme-color synesthesia, meaning I perceive (Roman) letters and (Arabic) numbers in color.  A is yellow, B is orange, C is pink, D is red, etc.  I didn't realize this wasn't a universally shared experience until sixth grade, when in language arts class we were discussing a story we'd read and I got two characters confused, "Mary Louise" and "Cynthia Parker," and by way of explaining my confusion offhandedly said, "sorry, they're both pink and blue" and everyone was like "...what."  I had a whole lot of trouble studying Greek because the alphabet wasn't in colors that made sense to me.

2. I find horses unnerving on, like, an existential level.  They give me the whole-body shudders, like one of those Lovecraftian things that Simply Ought Not to Be, that offend mine eyes and sanity by their proportions. The first time I watched the movie Willow and there was this scene where "unicorns" (white horses) galloped in slow-mo towards the camera, I let out this involuntary scream and hid my face and my viewing companion was like "wtf is wrong with you."  This is one of the 16 reasons I cannot tolerate the Western genre under any circumstances.

3. I sometimes play tabletop role play games, mostly World of Darkness, with my boyfriend and a small group of friends.  The two characters I've grown most attached to are a) a vampire named Alethea who was a bonny lass named Polly Cooper working in an Edwardian-era flower shop when she was Embraced (vampired) by a beautiful seductress calling herself Josephine who was later murdered by a serial killer raised by werewolves, and b) a daughter of the god Hephaestus named Chloe Smith (geddit?) who built an engine so efficient it accidentally tore a hole in the fabric of space-time so she had to team up with a few other gods' children and a human mage-hunter named Anthony who's one of two people she's ever actually (platonically) loved to defeat the eldritch abominations that came through the gap.  Alethea is currently trying to wrangle a wealthy and psychotic vampire hunter she Embraced as part of a Machiavellian scheme involving the vampire city council, who adores her so much he's constantly having people he perceives as obstacles to her murdered behind her back, and she's like "Kaspar for fuck's sake, I'm not ambitious, I've lived this long by keeping my head down" and he's like "but now that you have ME you can assume your rightful place as Queen of All Vampires" and she's like "I don't WANT to" and he's like "because you're so endearingly humble and self-effacing but we can fix all that."  Chloe failed to save Anthony's life from a cabal of mages so she called in nineteen favors from every supernatural being she knew and went to Hell Itself (kind of?  long story?) to get him back, and succeeded, and now her one goal in life is to kill the insanely overpowered mage who killed Anthony in the first place.  She's trying to get the other person she loves (her Russian half-brother Kostya, the son of Svarog) to help, but he's like "Сестренка, не будь дураком, this mage is the fucking worst, let well enough alone" and she's like "HE MURDERED MY WITCHER DAMMIT."  (Anthony has amnesia about the whole thing and Chloe's fiercely determined to make sure it stays that way so she's barely seen him since the Thing but she watches over him from nearby and it SEEMS like no one's going after him again? but we'll see)

4. I was raised in an incredibly toxic fundamentalist evangelical Christian church, which imploded just before I went off to college because the (married, with five kids) pastor was discovered to have been having a passionate affair with the wife of one of the elders (who also had five kids, everybody was very quiverfull), and have gone through a lot of Spiritual Seeking since, but I adore my current Episcopal church, which takes it as a given that our primary duty as Christians is to love and look after anyone who needs it, in the ways they need it most, as best we can.  As such, we educate ourselves and others, which I also love since the Christian culture of my youth was like "don't think about it don't think about it you'll go to hell if you think about it."  Also women and "Practicing Homosexuals" (the parlance of my youth) are allowed to be priests and bishops (we have two female priests and three male ones at my church) and the current bishop of the entire American Episcopal church (the first black man to hold that role) is the former bishop of my own diocese, so hometown diocese represent 😀

5. I love swimming in the ocean.  I'll stay in the ocean all day until somebody drags me out.  I think I have some kind of sense-memory of the womb that activates in the ocean when I'm weightless and being gently rocked.  If I'm ever eaten by a shark just know I died as I was born: being agonizingly and unexpectedly ripped from a state of mindless bliss.

6. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Butterscotch, who lived in a tank from which she was constantly escaping.  She would take her little hamster wheel, pack the bottom of it with cedar shavings, pee on them to affix them in place, climb the now-stationary wheel, muscle-lift the top of the tank, and squeeze herself out to freedom.  She'd do it right in front of me, like, "So?  Watch this." She also climbed the stairs in my parents' house by reaching up, gripping the edge of one with both paws, muscling herself up over the edge, and repeating until she reached the top.  She was the original American Ninja Warrior and I loved her so much and I cried so hard when she died.  

7. I had terrible, debilitating nightmares as a child, which led my mother to purchase a book called Helping Your Child Overcome Nightmares, which was about guided meditation and taking control of your dreams, and I immediately took and read the book myself because it sounded interesting, and I vividly remember the first time I successfully took control of a dream.  There was a striped rug in my room and I dreamed that a tiger materialized on it and growled at me, and I said aloud, in my dream, "Pretend the only thing he's afraid of is not being able to see" and threw my blanket over his head and he yelped and kicked and vanished.  I used these techniques to great effect after my husband died, when I was horribly, horribly afraid that I'd dream he was alive again and it had all been a mistake, and then wake up and absolutely be unable to stand it, so I'd dream of him and say "I'm really happy to see you, but you're dead, you're not really here" and it seemed like it sort of hurt his feelings but I knew if it was really him he'd understand I had to protect myself.  

8.  Speaking of my dead husband: we agreed before he died that if there was an afterlife he wouldn't hang around and haunt me, he'd move on to whatever new adventures might await and I'd catch up later if necessary.  I explained this to a grief counselor who asked if I'd had any Experiences of the dead one since he died (since apparently that's quite common) and I was like "oh no, we agreed he wouldn't hang around" and she was like "oh well that's... good, then?" and I was like "damn skippy, hopefully he's got better things to do"

9. Speaking of weird dreams: while we were on the transplant waiting list and living in hellish limbo, I did a lot of exploratory dream work, and one thing I did was establish a kind of little shop in the dream world that sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and this lady worked there who would help me with what I needed and supply me for my various exploratory missions in dream space.  It was like... near the "entrance" to the dream world, so when I'd lie down with guided meditation I'd go to sleep and come up "near" it.  Now hear me out because I swear this is true: years later, YEARS later, I went to New Orleans for the first time-- I'd never been near the place before-- and THAT SHOP WAS THERE.  It was the same EXACT shop.  Sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and there was a back room curtained off, which was where the lady from my dream always was when I came in, and I was too fucking terrified to ask what was back there and I hightailed it out of there and it's still the most overtly Weird thing that's ever happened to me in real life.

10. The first video game I ever played was Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2, and there was a subplot about a king whose wife had died and he'd been grieving and weeping for two years and the whole kingdom was sad and depressed because the king couldn't deal with his grief and we the adventurers had to go on a quest to find the Moon Shadow Harp and bring back a memory of his wife telling him he was stronger than he knew and him saying "I'd be lost without you" and her saying "no you wouldn't, you're strong and also no matter what I'll always be with you because you love me so much you couldn't ever lose those parts of yourself, the ones that love me, and so I'll always be with you" and I bawled like a friggin' baby, and then I tried another video game (Final Fantasy X) and was like "ugh, so it was just that one video game that was good, never mind" and that was the last time I played a video game until Fallout 4.

[elianabwrites]

Writing Tag

Hey guys! The lovely @edoqawa tagged me (two days ago  …oops) and I am finally here to fulfill my tagging duties. Thank you so much for thinking of me while doing this!

I tag @elliewritesstories @zonfatima @writingblogbyrose @regius-rex-rgis@stackofnotebooks @robinbibliophile and if anyone else wants to do it then go for it!!

1. Do you write a specific genre or no? Which ones do you gravitate towards?

So, I don’t think that I stay to one particular genre but I find that fantasy/science fiction are somewhat easier for me and overall more fun.

2. What is your biggest pet peeve in writing?

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right vocab or language to accurately depict exactly what the mood is and mood is usually the most concrete concept I have on scenes which frustrates me to no end. Also, proper grammar annoys me because I can never remember it.

3. What do you believe is your biggest strength?

I’ve been told that I am good at descriptions and voice but that’s my voice and not my characters which is what I need to work on.(Darn me for having such a big personality)

4. What is the best book you ever read?

I don’t like picking favorites so I’m gonna name a few. Obviously I’m going to have to include Harry Potter but if I’m being honest, at this point of my life, I kind of love the Percy Jackson books a little more. Rick Riordan just has this lovely way of writing and it’s so fun and light hearted but still kind of heavy with death and evil and I just really love it so much. Then there’s Laini Taylor. Oh my god Laini Taylor. She is a Picasso of writers I swear. Her writing and characters and just everything is so beautiful I’m in love. Her Daughter of Smoke and Bone series and Strange the Dreamer are phenomenal 10/10 would recommend.

5. If your book was to be turned into a movie, who would you want to play your main character?

This is such a fun question!! I’ve actually been thinking about this for forever and I think Jessica Stroup, Silver from 90210, would be the perfect Tauri Berkley from my Anomaly Series.

6. What inspired you to write this story?

The Anomaly Series - I’m not sure anymore to be honest. I’ve had these characters for like 7 years and they just never fit into the stories I’ve given them like they do this one.

Blood Will Run - Blood smugglers called Vampires? I really have no idea where this came from. I was just laying in bed trying to fall asleep and then the idea formed and I literally jumped out of bed to write the idea down. Then, Kaia, Elowen, and Kamaria just keep opening up to me and the more I know about them the more my plot falls into place.

Unique Names Anonymous - I think I read a prompt about some sort of AA type group meeting up or something and I was naming characters for my sci-fi series so I was knee deep in weird names and it just kinda happened.

Prophecy … Not - Someone on my dash was complaining about the chosen one/prophecy trope and Matthias appeared in my mind insulting them in a snooty manner and voila story is born.

By Any Other Name - I’d been trying to come up with a story about past lives and it just wasn’t coming and then I watched a YouTuber who was writing a retelling and I was like oh. And then I wrote; “An Elizabeth by any other name is just as lovely, and I will love her forever more.” and I fell in love with Elijah. (Plus Time Travel is my dream superpower so I’m having so much fun.)

7. Do you have a method for writing? Is there a certain place you need to be in?

One thing I’ve noticed is that I need some sort of sound on in the background but it usually is a TV show like Law&Order SVU that I can just listen to for hours and not get caught up in the plot but sometimes music works too.

8. What is the best movie adaption of a book that you’ve ever seen?

The Harry Potter films by far. I’m still beyond upset about the Percy Jackson movies though.

9. What is your least favorite genre?

I’m not the biggest horror fan. I like dark but horror just doesn’t do anything for me.

10. And finally, what would you say to someone to get them interested in your story?

The Anomaly Series - A bunch of young adults force their way into changing their world against their guardian’s wishes. Plus there are soooo many pure friendships and parent-child relationships that are focused on and my characters are diverse and amazing and I love them? Halle and Tauri fuck shit up sm like Halle will be like “we should do this” and Tauri will be like “Umm isn’t that illegal.” and Halle’s just like “come on let’s go” and Tauri is all “Okayy.” But don’t think she’s a total door mat Tauri stands up for what she wants. And then there’s Reigan and Aunt Addy always judging them and admonishing them, so cute.

Blood Will Run - I am SO excited for this book. A rogue princess. Her plucky lady in waiting sidekick. Blood smugglers that are called Vampires. An incredibly strong and beautiful escaped slave. Shapeshifters and Mindmodifiers. Dragonflies that are actually mini-dragons. Kaia, my main character, is so strong? Like she is so secure of who she is and tells people so and does what she has to and takes nothing from no one? Have I mentioned that she’s transgender? I’m so proud of her. She’s like my idol. She’s a hero. Doesn’t care about what she’s supposed to do and just does what she wants, hoe she wants. I’m in fucking love with her?

Unique Names Anonymous - A light hearted contemporary about a group of people who met on facebook because they have weird names? What’s not to love about this? One character doesn’t know if it’s the Heimlich or Heineken maneuver and the other chokes even more because they laugh so hard. Lmfao I love these idiots.

Prophecy … Not - My main character Matthias is kind of a sociopath who has gone through so much trouble to send his self-proclaimed nemesis on a huge dangerous quest while he goes the easy way just to prove that he is better than him. Pettiest little shit I’ve ever met. Little strong blonde girl makes him soft though. Even though she’s always nagging him to be nicer and they’re always fighting and somehow her father is traveling with them too?

By Any Other Name - My heart already hurts and I haven’t even really started drafting this one. Elijah&Elizabeth/Edith are my OTP. She named her son after him even though she couldn’t remember him but her soul knew the name meant something? I’m emotional? If Khalil rolls his eyes at Elijah anymore they’re gonna roll out of his head. He was just trying to do his job and a psycho washed up in the Detroit River and now he’s explaining urinals to this crazy white guy? Here’s your Romeo and Juliet retelling with a happy ending.

Could I have made this longer if I tried? Idk probably. Anyway, here are my questions (some aren’t actually questions but it’s fiiiiiiine.):

1. Do you have an OTP from your book(s)? If so, why or why not?

2. Do you have a process for naming your characters or are they already named when they come to you?

3.The best thing about writing for you?

4. What POV do you prefer and why?

5. What’s the strangest way/thing that inspired a story for you?

6. Do you like to read the same genre you write? What’s your favorite to read and to write?

7. When did you start writing?

8. Describe your book(s) in 4 words.

9. Gush about your favorite character (your own) and why you love them.

10. What is the hardest thing about writing for you? What advice would you give someone else if they had the same problem?

[crystalnet]

Favorite 5 Consoles of All Time

Consoles are fun to think about. This is a given for any gamer. Beyond just being the things that we play our favorite games on though, consoles can offer a unique experience unto themselves based mostly on the games they offer, but also in the way their individual characteristics set them apart from what comes before and after. When a console is successful, I believe that it has a sum-greater-than-its-parts effect, and feels like one big cohesive platform with something unique to offer. Without further ado, let’s get into it (this one is long)...

1. PS2

In my mind this one is almost indisputably one of the top three consoles of all time and the only way I can imagine it not being included in your top 3 or even your number 1 is if you either never owned one and never so much as played any of its classics, or maybe if you're way more into SNES or N64 having grown up with those. Or maybe the Dreamcast is preferable if you're kind of freaky (I get that), or you prefer OG playstation because of the plethora of dank, god-level JRPGs. As for other 6th gen consoles, maybe you are a Halo and Fable freak so you go for the OG Xbox (only Microsoft machine I respect) or you just have a weird thing for the Gamecube's comparatively skimpy but eclectic offering of 1st party titles and others (Sunshine, Mansion, Melee, MGS Twin Snakes, the "Capcom 5", yeah, I get that too). So yeah, basically you're wrong if you don't say PS2 is the greatest of all time unless you have a weird but understandable fetish for any of those several other consoles I mentioned.

For me though,  PS2 was my very first console. I was a bit late to the party due to only owning a Gameboy Color and later Advance throughout the 90s, so lucky me, I was rewarded for my patience with this beast of a console, going straight from 32-bit handheld titles like Mario Kart Grand Prix-- skipping right over the polygonal, blocky era of N64/Sega Saturn/PS1 that have unfortunately aged pretty poorly for me-- straight to the rich graphical prowess of this unstoppable machine. I couldn't have asked for a better introduction to console gaming, for in the following years I would have my formative experiences with some of the most eclectic and deep games I have ever played to this day.

Exclusives on this thing are, in my opinion, probably the best of any console ever, beating out even most if not all Nintendo consoles in terms of its exclusives which is no mean feat given that exclusives are  Nintendo's bread and butter. But everything from Tekken 4, to Final Fantasy X, to Ratchet and Clank and Jak and Daxter, to Kingdom Hearts, to Persona 3 and 4, to Katamari Damacy, to MGS 2 and 3... to...to... I could keep going for a while but probably should avoid devolving into listing, but a lot of those games are still to this day my favorite experiences, and they run the gambit in terms of genre, with everything from fighters and platformers to JRPGs and puzzle games and tactical espionage survival-shooters (or I should just say MGS3) being represented excellently. To me, these games and a few others might just be the peak of gaming as far as I’m concerned. PS2 is that perfect sweet spot for me, before things got maybe a tad too complicated and loaded down with overworked graphical spectacle but after the unbridled potential that SNES and PS1 games teased at, with the 6th generation's best titles delivering on that promise and then some.

It's especially impressive to me and worth noting that this console doesn't have anything in the way of a mascot like a certain plumber or hedgehog, while also not having a single killer-app, must-own title either, like Halo was for Xbox. Unlike Gamecube or Xbox, there wasn't a single game that you just knew a person was going to own if they had a PS2 back in the day, whereas Smash Melee or Halo seemed like default games for their respective consoles. This speaks to the eclecticism of the console's lineup. It had pretty much anything that was conceivably multi-platform while also having tons of unique games made by devs that were loyal to Sony and pretty much only Sony during this time. Square Soft (still Soft for just a bit longer..) and Konami bolstered the system by putting out some of the greatest Final Fantasy and Metal Gear games in the franchise while lighter platforming fare like Jak and Daxter and Ratchet and Clank from Insomniac and Naughty Dog made good on the promise of previous genre's 3D platforming excellence. Indeed this was the last time 3D platforming would really be a big thing, but the genre went out on a great note due to these two series’ and the Sly Cooper titles to a lesser extent (stealth platforming).

With Crash out of the game, Sonic's cache quickly fading and others like Spyro or Rayman being relegated c-list status, these two titles combined sand-box gaming (in Jak's case) and inventive shooting-centric combat (in Ratchet and eventually Jak's case) with the now classic tenets of the genre that Super Mario 64, Crash and Banjo Kazooie set precedents for. And both of these power-duos kind of vie for a role as Sony's mascot, but I think it pretty quickly became apparent that the whole idea of a mascot was by then both passe and unnecessary, unless he was Mario or Master Chief (indeed Mario is kind of so uncool that he has always remained cool unlike Sonic or Crash, while Master Chief with his sci-fi para-militaristic edginess made older leading characters shrivel upon comparison (save for like Solid Snake or that Half-Life 2 guy maybe)).

That's kind of a tangent though, but I think the way that the console doesn't have any single one game or franchise that everyone hails as the quintessential  PS2 is part of what makes the console's line-up so strong. There was also an especially strong presence of combo-heavy hack-and-slash titles like God of War and Devil May Cry which aren’t really in my wheelhouse but I do respect them. More relevant to the purposes of this blog and my own penchant for JRPGs, this console is far and away the best console for JRPGs during this generation. Dreamcast comes in 2nd place probably for JRPGs this gen, with Gamecube just on its heels, and while they both have their fair share of titles, PS2 comes out on top easily almost based solely on that fantastic run of Final Fantasy games, from X, to XI, to XII (XI is multiplat but good lord, I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours on this MMO, and it was kind of a big deal to even be playing an MMO on a console, not to mention the greatest MMO of all time). Add in the SMT/Persona games and you have one of the top 3 consoles for JRPGs of all time, alongside the PS1 and SNES, based almost solely off of two franchises. But then there's also the excellent Dark Cloud and Rogue Galaxy games from Level 5, the Kingdom Hearts games (say what you will, they're solid), stand-outs like Odinsphere from VanillaWare, and the sort-of-trashy but sort-of-brilliant games like the Dot Hack titles (okay those are only brilliant to me), and these and many more round out a very strong presence for the genre, including stuff like Xenosaga and Dragon Quest VIII, both of which I still need to get to. There’s literally probably 1000+ hours worth of solid JRPG experiences on this console given the sheer amount of them.

So yeah, this console is just kind of god-level all around. Multi-platform titles like SSX3 and Resident Evil 4 have a strong presence as well. Throw in pretty decent online functionality back when that wasn't a given and DVD/CD compatibility and you have something that truly felt like an all-purpose entertainment console. Oh and the Dual-Shock 2 was the best controller at the time, and probably at that moment was the best controller so far (I would say it still is but the Dual-Shock 4 is a strong contender despite slightly lacking battery life). So yeah, this thing is a beast. I could talk about it all day because I feel like it deserves that but I should move on before I start doing extended commentary on each and every unique 5-star game this thing offered. I'll leave you with this... Picture it... Christmas morning 2002. Kingdom Hearts came out in March and you've been patient all year. Biding your time. This Xmas, your mother is finally coming around to the idea of a console and you know what you must do... for your first games you carefully select Tekken Tag Tournament, Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9 and Tactics (respect discounted PS1 gold) and a certain goofy-as-hell, but beautiful crossover game.. all year you've been pining over the ad-spot that played during Toonami featuring that unstopable J-Pop Utada Hikaru song and now... at last, in front of your whole family, you boot up the PS2 for the first time and behold, your just desserts...  Dame Utada. And yes, the whole family is on board with this otaku dreamscape. Dream on gamerz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKsX02Zc9eE

2. Wii

Moving right along. We jump ahead in time all of 4 years from when I first got PS2 and 6 years total from when PS2 first dropped and we arrive at the undoubtedly troubled but still deeply worthwhile 7th gen. And while Microsoft and Sony were unveiling they're grotesquely expensive bionic bastardizations of a console, strapped down with overly pricey bells-and-whistles that put the focus on everything but actual gameplay, Nintendo had cooked up something drastically different with the Wii-- a weird, slightly under-powered, quirky-as-hell at best, gimmicky-as-fuck at worst, and comparatively compact and cheap console simply called the Wii (originally titles the Revolution). It's fun to think back to the excitement and promise in the months leading up to the launch of the Wii... a whole new kind of controller and way of playing. A console that seemed to have a real philosophy that wasn't based solely around pretty as fuck graphics that would make your eyes bleed. And that excitement lasted well into the first year or so of the console. Wii Sports is a behemoth of cross-generational accessibility, and made for some very fun Christmas mornings across the planet, I imagine. Twilight Princess, though in actuality a delayed Gamecube title, was super solid and one of the better launch games of all time. Then there were other lighter, motion-control heavy titles early on like WarioWare Smooth Moves, Rayman Raving Rabbids or Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz that were fun if uneven and a little jank-y. Rounding it out were games like Red Steel (ghetto but kinda fun!) and Excitebike (underrated!) that round out the genre diversity. So yeah, not a bad launch really. The big problem with the Wii though, was keeping up the impressive momentum that it started with. 

The gestalt of the system was always very strong. An impressive interface that was fun and easy to use with relaxing "zen" feeling ambiance added to the relaxing and intuitive feeling of the console. The stark white and minimal presentation of the menus and the console itself, clearly inspired by Apple products and pre-figured by the gorgeous Nintendo DS-lite by about a year, were preferable to what Sony and Microsoft were doing. And the whole anti-graphical prowess, pro-innovation thing-- especially in retrospect-- seem kind of punk rock. In my mind, things got kind of nasty for gaming around this time, with the rise of Madden and Halo gamer bros, and the ridonculous price-tags of  PS3 and 360 making things feel both played-out and overwrought. But with the Wii, Nintendo offered a panacea. One that came with its own unique flaws and pitfalls mind you, but a panacea nonetheless.

The great Achilles heel of the console though, was the slow trickle of games. I think it's a shame that the console had this problem, but it's also pretty damn understandable. With lower graphical prowess, big triple-A titles had trouble living on this console, and devs were a bit reticent to develop for such a strange, motion-control-centric console. The whole idea of the wii remote and motion-control was brand new, and to my knowledge only existed before this in Kirby Tilt-&-Tumble (a really dope Gameboy Advance gyroscopic pinball riff). Nintendo should have realized that this was going to be an issue and either ramped up their 1st party projects or figured out a better way of courting third-party devs. The weird thing is, that by the end of the console's lifetime, the line-up actually comes outlooking pretty damn strong. And it's easily in my top 5 libraries of all time (is top console and top console library a different list?). But it's just that it took all 6 years of its life to get there. And as a gamer in high school, I felt this slow-trickle of strong releases very acutely. And when I look back, I realize it may simply have to do with a nearly-fatal lack of JRPGs initially and for much of its lifetime. Now this whole generation is kinda stinky for JRPGs and I'm just about to write a whole post on that, but still, I shouldn't have had to rely on the impressive albeit well-worn selection of Gamecube and Virtual Console titles to get my JRPG kicks while I waited.

The thing is, this console actually has 2 of the best JRPGs of the era, but they came out very late and almost not at all. It's all thanks to X-Seed's fantastic localization efforts that we even have the fantastic Xenoblade Chronicles and Last Story-- both of which Nintendo was frustratingly hesitant to even release in the west. So again, even though it took a while, the console ends up with super strong offerings in the long-run. First-party games were more the story of this console than any other Nintendo console, which is really saying something given their habit of relying on them. But here, they were especially dependent on their flagship franchises. Indeed, Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3 are some of the best games of their respective franchises, not to mention Twilight and eventually Skyward, which I much prefer but paradoxically didn't like initially (plus it came at the tail-end like a lot of the other good ones). It seems like there's a big stretch there between the end of the first year and the last couples years of the console where pickings were just a bit too slim. But quirky third-party titles like No More  Heroes and Muramasa were excellent and proved that other developers like Suda51 and Vanillaware could knock games out of the park on the console, showing that Nintendo themselves weren't the only ones capable of this.

Indeed, by the end of the console, shit is solid as hell. My favorite version of Resident Evil 4. A very solid Fire Emblem game, when those were still kind of new to the states. Smash Brawl. Like you can't fuck with these games. So while I might seem like I'm spending a lot of time talking about the slight lack of high-quality games just to say that by the end that said library is actually super strong, it's because I can't overlook the flaws this thing had for a decent stretch of time there. It's just that I really love the Wii at this point in my life, but that I am still aware of my issues it had-- hell I'd even say I had a bit of a love-hate relationship with it. I simultaneously scorned the hardcore experience I felt I was missing out on while also wishing at least some of those games could exist on the Wii. At their worst, games could feel cheaply made and gimmicky, but then the very best games made the Wii and its unique controls feel like the pinnacle of gaming that gen. In retrospect though, even it's "flaws" at the time almost seem like strengths.

Yes, this console could be gimmicky, and roughly a third of the 1200 some odd titles are shovel-ware. It probably should have been like $50-100 dollars more expensive for the purposes of having a more impressive graphics card and Nintendo really needed to figure out how to either have more third-party exclusives or just more third-party support in general. BUT, despite all of that, this thing has ascended to legendary status in my mind. And I think it's strengths, and even some flaws, make it shine even brighter in my mind when I think of the ways that it represents something pure. With the Wii, Nintendo wanted simply to innovate and entertain. They didn't seek to blow us away with sheer processing power, and big, Hollywood-esque triple-A shooters that were as polished as they were soulless. No, instead they gave us something truly unique-- almost aggressively so, and everyone and their grandma and baby cousin benefited from it. And in a landscape where a lot of the glaring issues with big, dumb humdrum triple-A day-one DLC-baring titles continue to lack substance or anything remotely resembling a soul or anything in the way of spunk, the Wii and its philosophy on gaming is more valuable than ever. It prefigures what Nintendo continues to do with the next two consoles (to varying degrees of success) and it functions as a line drawn in the sand by Nintendo, by which they made more clear than ever before their goal to sing their own tune (N64 chose not to jump on the CD game and Gamecube has those mini-discs but were otherwise pretty regular comparatively). Moving forward, I think people have begun to realize that Nintendo's project is far more important than what Sony and Microsoft are doing in terms of sheer innovation and principles. While individual games on Sony and Microsoft games are still capable of being fantastic, those consoles lack a certain personality or cohesive aesthetic, whereas the Wii has it in spades. Nintendo had real guts for this, and a lot of it payed off very well, and I'll certainly be playing some of these games well into my septuagenarian years, as I imagine most of my generation will spend their retirement community days playing either Wii Fit/Sports or else maybe like PS8 Virtual Reality. And you know what? That sounds like a good time to this gamer.

3. Sega Dreamcast

Speaking of consoles with spirit and spunk. There's just something about the Dreamcast, and I know so many people would know exactly what I mean by that. Some kind of X-factor that is nigh impossible to pin point. Of course, the fact that it died off so pre-maturely and tragically certainly helps with the cult status. In fact I bought mine used 2 years after it ceased being sold new in stores (the Xmas after the big PS2 score), partly because of the ideal price-tag and cheap back-catalog of games, partly because I think I was going through my last Sonic the Hedgehog phase. But beyond it's unfortunate and rapid decline, the console is just special in a way almost no consoles seemed ever again after this generation save for like yeah probably the  Wii, or maybe the Switch and that's all. I love me some Sony to this day, but PS3 and PS4 feel more like the default consoles rather than like something unique and special like the Dreamcast was. Nintendo I think are the only ones that appreciate the idea of a console having a unique gestalt and philosophy, but whether it was intentional or not, Dreamcast also had that in spades. I don't know if it was intentional but there's something kind of... "urban" feeling about this console. Games like Jet Set Radio, Crazy Taxi and Sonic Adventure seemed to sport this specific kind of 90's lite-edginess that was a lot of fun and went well with the strong offering of sports games.

Then there are legendary games like Shenmue or Marvel vs Capcom 2 (eventually ported) that retain an arcade-y feel while also offering depth. Throw in some solid JRPGs including the first iteration of Phantasy Star Online (online on a console in 2000???), along with a solid Resident Evil entry, and a modded bootleg version of Metal Gear Solid 1, and you have a well-rounded winner of a console, with personality to spare. Of course, due to its untimely death, most of its games would be ported to the other more lucky gen-6 consoles, but certain titles-- most of which I've mentioned-- will always belong on the Dreamcast as far as I'm concerned. It's just one of those consoles where you weren't just playing a game that happened to be on Dreamcast. You were playing a Dreamcast game. Big difference.

The first of its gen, it was ahead of its time, with online functionality and a freakin browser(!!!), along with a unique controller that had a screen-baring memory card slot right there in the controller. In a way, it kind of vaguely pre-figures the Wii U a decade before tablet-centric gaming. Four controller slots made it more party-friendly than the PS2 (damn you multi-tap add-on) and I also just generally like the way the actual console itself looks compared to every other console around this time save for maybe the Gamecube, for what that's worth. In fact, I feel like Dreamcast kind of passed its torch off to Gamecube in the way that that console got a lion-share of Dreamcast ports including Sonic Adventure 2 Battle and Phantasy Star Online. Plus GC was the only other console in the gen to have the same kind of spunky individuality. PS2′s library was eclectic as fuck, but the console itself never felt as unique as the Dreamcast or Gamecube if only in terms of its sheer appearance or in terms of that ever-elusive x-factor. Hell, Gamecube has a much stronger library if I'm honest, but I already included the Wii which has backwards compatibility, and I never owned a Gamecube. But not to get derailed into changing my mind to include a console whose games I only ever played on my Wii while waiting for new Wii games to come out, I stand by the Dreamcast for what it represents and in a perfect world Sega, Nintendo and Sony will always be the holy trinity of console developers and Xbox never came along and eventually made things dumb and bro-y by the late aughties. Like I know it's not Microsofts fault, but ugh, what a bummer for the Dreamcast to be effectively replaced by the Xbox (I know Dreamcast's decline didn't have to do with Xbox per se, but still (indeed Microsoft helped Sega build the Dreamcast in the first place, in the process learning how to make their own watered-down bullshit console (truth be told, even though I'm a J-gamer through and through, I actually have a soft-spot for OG Xbox))).

But yeah, I just want the Dreamcast to know that I love it, and will always be here for it. Corny Sonic games and all (Sonic Shuffle is sick and underrated fyi). Dreamcast, you were not made for this world, but I will always love you despite the fact that there's only like 6 games on you that I'd ever want to revisit~

ps Also, it's just the best name for a console hands down. Like what even does "Dreamcast" mean (oh like broadcast I guess?)? It sounds cool and rolls off the tongue, and at least on some nights, is truly is the console of my dreams. Also, big ups to the modding community that kept this baby alive and still does.

4.  Nintendo Switch

Oh boy... now this is a bit ballsy seeing as this thing is all of 6 months old, but I can't deny how much enjoyment I've already gotten out of it already,-- or more importantly-- how much unbridled potential this thing has in every iota of its tidy little package. I feel I can include this because of some of the same reasons I raved about the Wii. In a landscape where PS4 and 360 seem a bit weight down by the sheer technical prowess of their most over-developed games, the slick and sporty and versatile Switch is a life-raft that does nothing less than breathe life into gaming in a time when pumping new ideas into the landscape is rare and ever essential, especially so given that triple-A developers are want to roll-out homogenized, open-world, over-the-shoulder uber-genre show-piece titles ad nauseum. The Switch is everything PS4 and 360 aren't while not being nearly as drastically outpaced technologically as the Wii was by its respective peers. Indeed, part of Nintendo's advantage is that they are essentially the sole inhabitants of the 9th generation (unless you count PS4 Pro or the whatever the deluxe Xbone is...). The Switch comes much closer to the graphical capability of PS4 and Xbone than the Wii did to it's respective peers while also offering unique handheld versatility, motion-controlling joy-cons, a touchscreen a la the problematic-if-promising Wii U AND the goldmine that is Nintendo's 1st party titles.

If Nintendo had a kind of uneven and weaker lot of 1st-party games on the Wii U, it seems like the Switch has them feeling inspired if Breath of the Wild is any indication. And yes, BotW is essentially a Wii U game, but good lord that game is fun to play in handheld mode, and what I have learned from the console, is that for me at least, most games are made exponentially better by simply having the option to be played on the go. Time will tell if the first-party entries will keep up the success of BotW though, but Mario Odyssey is almost certainly a slam-dunk for a 6-month old console, and Metroid Prime 4, the inevitable Pokemon and Animal Crossing games in 2018 seem to suggest that we won't have to worry about a lack of high-quality tiles. Really the only thing Nintendo has to worry about is that they keep a consistent flow of games coming out, namely good multi-platform and third-party titles in addition to the strong 1st party flagship titles that are probably on lock. And so far, so good on that front. There's been at least one big title every month, and the 3rd party and indie support seems to be strong in this one. Throw in some vintage-style JRPGs already on the console, and new big-budget ones like Xenoblade, and things seem to be infinitely promising for this little handheld/console combo that could. I think this shows that Nintendo has learned from the issues the Wii had, and that the Wii u had to an even larger extent, and are addressing it. 

The whole idea of creating a machine that effectively merges their predilection with handheld gaming with their big new console effort is a masterstroke on Nintendo's party. They have created a console in which big budget, triple-A titles can exist in a way that is arguably superior to the way their counterparts exist on PS4/XBO/PC simply because of handheld functionality. In this way, Nintendo can put big, pretty 1st and 3rd party tiles on it, while also putting a whole mess of good indie and low-budget and/or retro-style games like Spelunker World, Sonic Mania or I Am Setsuna (ported from PS4 but so much better on Switch (JRPGs are want to be played on the go when that is called for)). This has me most excited for what this means for JRPGs on the console, with things like Lost Sphere and Octopath making it seem like this might be Nintendo's best console for JRPGs since well Wii and Gamecube (JRPGs skipped N64 and basically Wii U entirely save for like Mario RPG and Tokyo Mirage Sessions/Xenoblade Chronicles X) and I write about that more elsewhere, but the fact that this range of kinds of titles can exist on the Switch may be a crucial boon for the console. So the next year or so will be proving ground for Nintendo, and these next few quarters are especially crucial, but things are looking very solid when you consider Mario Odyssey and Xenoblade 2 are just about to drop, closing out a super solid year 1 (calendar year that is, next March will be a true year).

So yeah, I'll have to check back in at the end of 2018, but assuming as many amazing first-party titles come out in 2018 as we have reason to believe they will, + RPG Factory’s Octopath, and I think next year will be just as strong as these initial months have been. It's a good time to be a gamer, and this is the most hopeful thing about this current era, so once again, Nintendo seems to be back on top in terms of promise and potential after a slightly problematic Wii U (problematic mostly just in terms of library. Wii U is fine but sports Nintendo's worst library since the NES or OG gameboy for my money). So yeah, this thing is great and kind of exciting in a way that gaming hasn't been since maybe the Wii. Your ducks are all in a row Nintendo, now it's time to slay.

5. SNES

I'll be honest upfront. Never owned one of these bad boys. In fact, as far as retro-gaming goes, I kinda suck. Not only have I not played as many retro classics as I should, I'm just generally not a good admirer of games that proceed PS2 or those classic PS1 JRPGs. And that's why this list has skewed so much toward the 6th generation and beyond. BUT I'm not fool enough to not be able to see just how many knock-out state-of-the-art masterpieces exist on this single, pixelated-sprite rendering bastion of a console. Like seriously, I always knew that this was kind of the advent of modern gaming, or represented a moment when things went from black-and-white if you will, to fully fleshed out, deep, and colorful experiences like Link to the Past and Super Metroid, but it wasn't until perusing the titles selected for the recently-released SNES Classic. Like seriously, the library on this thing is incredibly strong. Super Castlevania and Super Metroid and the Super Mario games alone make this the single greatest console for side-scrolling platformers and the beloved Metroidvania genre. Now it was only competing against the older NES and Sega's consoles basically but still, the fact that it didn't have all that much competition makes it even that much more impressive that it didn't skimp on games at all. It's also got fighting and racing in spades (Street Fighter II, F-Zero and Super Mario Kart) for multiplayer sessions and as if that wasn't enough, it also sports a handful of the greatest JRPGs of all time. Indeed, if not for the games Square Soft released for this console, the JRPG may not have taken off in the way it did by the time FFVII came out. Behold games including Final Fantasy 4, 5, 6, Chrono Trigger, and Secret of Mana (a multiplayer JRPG???) just to name the ones that must absolutely be mentioned,  all of which are paragons of JRPG excellence. They set a very high precedent for the genre going forward and all of their statuses have been securely enshrined in the halls of fantasy greatness.

Indeed, these 5 games alone force my hand in terms of including this console, and that means a lot for someone who is a bit of plebeian when it comes to the 16-bit era. It would be an obvious inclusion if I ever actually owned it, but even having missed out on it originally, I have the utmost respect for it and its games. So many of these games over the decades have gotten ported and re-released and remastered (esp on PS1 and Gameboy Advance) to the point where most gamers have encountered at least some of these games to some extent even if they got into gaming way after this generation. They are quite simply the gold-standard in gaming, and truly some of the most "classic" titles of all time, providing a truly inspiring precedent for what games can be. Sega Genesis/Master Drive had fantastic Sonic and Phantasy Star games, but Mario, Metroid, Castlevania, Zelda and the golden age Final Fantasy games are staggering individually and also when lined up next to each other, all of them offering perfectly archetypal iterations of their respective genres, containing within their cartridge's circuit-boards the sheer essence of gaming itself~ Shout-out/Runner-ups:

-Gamecube- again, never owned one but this thing is unstoppable (and I owned many essentials once I got a Wii), but with Mario Sunshine, Luigi's Mansion, Melee, Windwaker, Metroid Prime, Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes, Killer7 and other oddities, this is nearly tied with my other favorite Nintendo library, the Wii, which might only have a slight edge because the Wii has better JRPGs (even though it's only really 3 or so JRPGs, but still they're fantastic while the Gamecube is lacking any truly excellent JRPGs amongs its modest smattering of titles, including Tales of Symphonia, Evolution Worls and Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles). Also, the lunchbox design and portability is really sweet. Solid controller also, with the Wavebird being my second favorite controller of all time after the Dual-Shock 2 (and then the Wii remote probably).

-PS1- My first couple years of owning a PS2 I was spending the bulk of my time playing Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9 and Tactics, and those along with several other of the dankest JRPGs of all time, make this the greatest console for JRPGs of all time imo (especially because most of the best SNES JRPGs save for Secret of Mana were ported decently to the PS1 (Chrono Trigger gets Toriyama-animated cut scenes!). And so while that genre is really the only draw for me to the PS1, there's obviously a wealth of other fantastic titles on it, and bless the PS2 for allowing me to play all of them).

-PS4- It feels stupider to put this than it did the Switch and the Switch is way newer, but still, I couldn't actually put this in the top 5 because most of the games that I really love on it are either also on Xbox One, PS3 or PC, so almost nothing on it feels truly exclusive but I still wanted to mention it. Like really, two of my favorite JRPGs of all time-- Persona 5 and Nier Automata-- came out for this thing this year but both are also available on PS3 and PC respectively. So yeah, I love this thing and use it literally all the time, and in the past year or so it seems to finally be coming into its own in terms of offering a unique experience that is remotely different than Xbox One, but these days the exclusive title is becoming more and more rare with only certain Final Fantasy games (the excellent Zodiac Age and decent Type-0 (and the twee World of..)) and like Bloodborne and Gravity Falls being true exclusives. But more are surely to come with Kingdom Hearts 3 and FF7R eventually coming out at long last sometime in the next few years (maybe??). Ni No Kuni 2 and Dissidia next January will also be exclusive. But yeah, beyond the mostly non-exclusive library, this thing has a good controller, good interface, good functionality and is just generally a good/ideal system. We did it, go team! -Wii U- Only mentioning this because I kind of ripped on this earlier and want to clarify: I have a soft spot for the Wii U, and appreciate that it kind of prophesizes what Nintendo would do with the Switch what with the way you could play games on the pad. It’s a really neat and functional idea hindered only by the fact that you can’t leave the room (minor for me since I basically never need to play a handheld anywhere except my house). I’d say this thing had two big problems though: One, it felt way more like an expansion or attachment for the Wii than a brand new console. And second and more importantly, they were not able to correct the issue the Wii had with third-party and it got even worse on this thing. The console has a handful of fantastic flagship games, with a couple of promising new franchises popping up (like Splatoon or the newly Nintendo-loyal Bayonetta) but even these first-party games lack the strength to sustain the entire console on their own. Really, this thing ends up being a bit of a bust unless your a Smash fanatic, or really love the HD Zelda releases (and eventually BotW) or if you are way into Xenoblade Chronicles X. And that’s how I am, so that’s literally 5 games. In like 5 years... I mean yeah there’s some solid old-school platformers, and Mario Kart and Splatoon but it just doesn’t quite come together for me. I figure it might grow on me in the same way the Wii did, but to a lesser extent because of the way the Switch feels like a superior version of it (or else an ideal hybrid of the Wii and Wii U) Whew, that was longer than I thought it'd be. But I love thinking about consoles! They're like the album of gaming or something. And the games on them are the songs? Idk that's a weird metaphor, but anyway, coming tomorrow: The Awkward 7th Generation and Mistwalker games~

[introvert-dragon]

Hiccupy heart (Chapter 3)

Summary: It didn’t matter that Hiccup and Astrid used to be best friends, somewhere in grade school or middle school, back when life used to be fun, with him having plus one leg and one mother, before everyone hit their growth spurt. Until Hiccup finally got his soul mark; And guess who’s name was it? Astrid Hofferson. Soul mate AU.

Previous Chapter | FF.net | Ao3

A/N: An Update in a week!? I did it!

It’s all thanks to your awesome support guys. Keep em’ coming! Even though I got only 1/3rd views compared to the first chapter - you guys are still awesome.

Without further ado,

(No beta for this chapter, watch out for errors.)

It took him all weekend, but Hiccup finally had a plan in mind. A very simple and effective plan; Avoid Astrid Hofferson, in any form or kind (thoughts included), like a plague and eventually move on with the whole Astrid being his soul mate thing, that was it.

In theory, what could possibly go wrong? The less he saw her in his life, the fewer ideas would be getting on his head, that would likely end up with him embarking on another quest for Astrid Hofferson and Highschool Royalty.

With great effort, he managed to do just as he planned. Until Hiccup randomly craved for the cafeteria's infamous 'The Goethi's Soggy Fries' with special yak buttermilk dipping. So Hiccup decided to make a quick stop to the cafeteria before he headed home.

There shouldn't be a problem with that. From what he knew, there was still at least half an hour before Tennis Practice ended.

As soon as he arrived in the cafeteria though, there goes his plan. Astrid Hofferson was there sitting on her boyfriend's lap for all of the cafeteria to see.

That shouldn't be a problem for Hiccup, He simply needed to turn his head around and look the other way. But goddammit! His boyfriend seriously needed some lesson in public display of affection.

Hiccup could clearly see the annoyance showing in her perfect beaut... Astrid's face. He really needed to get a grip. He almost let himself worship her face, and oh my! Look at her freckles they're so– Gah! –and there goes his resolve.

Hiccup reminded himself that She always knew.

Something flared up inside him, the tip of his finger tingling unbearably, his fingers clawing on his palm. He wasn't sure if it was anger or jealousy.

It should have been him.

Astrid must have been feeling so good for herself, having a boyfriend who was a living embodiment of Jon Snow, only with a tattoo on his chin, but a little bit on the brainless side(which he was sure made things easier for her), who, was not a hiccup like him, who was supposedly her soul mate—Soul mate she didn't want. He was Eret son of fucking Eret. Hiccup could tell that Astrid probably... not probably— she definitely wished that the name on her wrist would have been Eret's not him.

Hiccup wondered if Astrid had started dating Eret before or after she got her soul mark. He wished it was the former; not that it mattered.

Hiccup watched as Eret's lips tried to go for Astrid's neck once again, but Astrid just elbowed the muscle-head hard on his ribs. Gods, Eret couldn't get a fucking clue.

Hiccup would have treated Astrid better, but he knew that Astrid was not someone who wanted to be taken care of. She was Astrid Hofferson. She always made clear that she was perfectly capable of herself, and she certainly proved that. In fact, she got hundreds of broken nose, and bones to attest that.

His breathing felt heavier as he felt something burning red in his chest. He didn't realize how hard his eyes were trained on the couple until his eyes met Astrid's for a split second. She diverted her gaze but Hiccup continued to glare as their eyes met again.

This time, Hiccup's resentment wasn't directed to her boyfriend. It was all on the owner of the name written on his left forearm, his 'so-called' soul mate.

Astrid flinched, she tried to hide it but he noticed and for a moment her eyes showed hints of mortification; He was probably imagining things.

Hiccup closed his eyes, breaking the gaze and breathed a long-drawn sigh to calm his drumming heart. He opened his eyes to meet hers again and suddenly felt his left forearm throbbed sharply, causing him to drop the extra large bucket of fries from his trembling hands.

Hiccup ran away with no particular destination in mind. He just needed to leave, anywhere away from Astrid. He just couldn't stand the sight of her ... It was too painful.

Unfortunately, being a one-legged man, he could only run so much and wasn't supposed to run like that in the first place. Pain, soreness, and cramp overcame his left leg—he needed to sit down, and check on it.

Then Astrid was there, standing near him, watching him with her eyes wide, filled with terror. Hiccup almost cowered at her gaze and wished to vanish without a trace from the universe.

No—He wasn't going to be defined by his stupid attraction to his soul mate anymore.

Hiccup took a deep breath and met Astrid's gaze with as much as courage he could muster. Without breaking the gaze, He stood up straight despite his left leg's protest, squared his shoulders, tucked his chin, and walked away with as much as dignity a one-legged man could.

But it was all an act, his refusal to appear weak in front of his soul mate. As soon as he got home, Hiccup didn't even bother changing his clothes as he went straight to his bed, burying himself in layers of pillows and blanket.

Hiccup found himself screaming in his bedroom, self-destructing for all he cared.

After he was done with his self-destruct sequence. Hiccup felt numb and tired in many ways, that he could do no more than stare at the ceiling of his room, while he contemplated his life.

Hiccup had tendencies to tunnel vision, not that he was a narrow-minded minded person. He was just 'too stubborn for his own good' quoting his father and Gobber. And that specific trait probably got him most of his trouble.

Unlike his father, who loved to remind him that 'When I was a boy... I knew what I was, what I had to become –blah blah blah and rest of the story–' and Oh boy... If Hiccup ever had to hear that story again, he might very well bang his head against the rock, probably and get a skull-crushing headache – but it would be totally worth it if he never had to hear that lecture from his father again.

He was rambling, again, even in his own mind. The point was when Hiccup set his mind on something; an objective, a crazy invention, or a very impossible teenage crush turned into first love. He won't stop at anything to achieve it, but... well, only most of it ended up in failure or trouble.

And for once in his life, Hiccup actually got something right. Astrid Hofferson was indeed his soul mate. It was not just his daydreams or fantasy anymore. It was a fact, with physical evidence etched in his own skin.

But this time, he knew when to stop. In most cases, the reason Hiccup could never stop was all because of his curious mind, and the teenage part of him wanting to prove something.

She always knew.

If Astrid always knew that he was her soul mate. And was very clear that she didn't want him to be her soul mate.

What was there to prove for him? So what now?

The wound was still fresh for him, and the 'Pull' was still there, only that he never felt the 'Pull' this powerful, only in a bad way. If before when he would as much as breathe the same air as Astrid – He would feel like oxygen was overrated. But now that he got his soul mark, it was as if his attraction for Astrid was now oxygen itself. And oxygen was no longer overrated. He was like a moth attracted to a beacon of flame even if he knew that it would burn him.

That was why he needed a plan to avoid Astrid, in any form and kind. Even if he could still manage to walk away from his soul mate every time, he could act dignified and strong in the presence of his soul mate his whole life. But–

But in the end...

Hiccup, with all of his heart, still loved Astrid Hofferson.

The whole realization was painful. It was impossible for him to get over all his feelings for his soul mate over a weekend. Not especially when his feeling, had a very strong legitimate root – thirteen years of friendship, followed by a whole high school of worship.

It was impossible. Hiccup would never get over her.

Hiccup needed to do something, anything at all. He needed to be somebody, someone – For himself. This time it was about his life and his alone.

He tried to visualize a much better version of him. Where Hiccup didn't had the need to prove himself, to his father, his soul mate... or even himself. Where he would have Thor's mighty hammer for his arm instead of his noodle arms, both of his legs, and maybe he could play a ball game, and people would accept him.

Wouldn't that be something, Hiccup thought.

Hiccup sighed, getting tired of staring at the ceiling. He let his head drop to his right, his eyes landing on his favorite flying dragon-rider poster.

The one with a one-legged hero flying with his one-tail-finned black dragon.

Flying...

Fly...

Fly. If only he could fly away from berk, leave the archipelago. And in that way, he was sure to avoid Astrid Hofferson that way.

An idea struck to his mind...

Maybe Hiccup could actually do that...

Didn't his father always wanted him to enroll in a 'Real Program Degree' in an 'Actual University'?

He could do just that by studying abroad, where the top universities in the world were. And maybe, for once in his lifetime, his father would be proud of him... His boy enrolling in an Ivy League, Harvard, Yale... or wherever he wanted—with his academic performance it shouldn't even be an issue. Maybe he could get himself a scholarship in one of those universities, though money wasn't a problem for him. It wasn't like Hiccup will be missed either – he highly doubted that. His father barely came home every week.

This new plan of his was perfect—it would definitely work.

Unfortunately, this plan also involved him giving up on his own plans for college. And there goes one of his dreams. The said that dream involved going to the same college as Astrid Hofferson, he figured that his dreams were nothing less a fantasy.

It was a just stupid pinky promise from childhood. It was not like she remembered any of it.

"It was stupid," Hiccup muttered to himself.

"Yes, so stupid," Hiccup repeated as if he was trying to convince himself otherwise.

Besides, it was not like he had a choice – the only way his father would agree on this plan was Hiccup had to take a law degree.

But If it meant getting away from all these, where he could start fresh and try to be a better version of him. It was a compromise he was willing to take.

Million ideas started flowing in his mind on how this plan would just work out for him.

Four to Eight years in law school, give or take – even longer if he decided to take law for post-grad. That was a lot of time for himself – to discover himself.

He could get a dog.

He could travel.

He could meet new people who didn't know him as a Hiccup.

He could start fresh, and there was more to life than just his soul mate.

But none of them would be like being with Astrid Hofferson.

Hiccup shook his head, brushing off the thoughts before it festered his mind.

Hiccup let out a long-drawn sigh, sitting up straight, shrugging layer of blanket off him. At least his mood felt brighter with the notion of the freedom he could have soon.

With nothing more to do, Hiccup plopped back down to the bed, scrambled his pockets for his cellphone and fiddled with it for a while, until he started yawning and eventually dozed off.

The next time Hiccup opened his eyes – he was still dreaming.

After all, There was no way Astrid was in his room, sitting on his bed, watching him sleep. To prove his point, Hiccup reached out a hand to hold the said image of Astrid. And just about Hiccup was about to touch her, Astrid reached out for his hand and held on to it tightly.

The sensation of her hands and the feel of their soul marks resonating... It all felt too real... He didn't want it to end–

–Ding! Dong!

The loud doorbell woke him up, the whole vision in his dreams vanishing into smoke, as he jolted up straight, feeling shivery, goosebumps all over his skin, and cold sweat covering his body. Hiccup shook his head, to clear his foggy head, and calm his breathing.

It was just a dream... Astrid hadn't visited him for over four years, not even when he had an accident – She had no better reason to do so now. And yet, Hiccup couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in his chest.

Ding! Dong! The doorbell rang again.

Hiccup groaned, he didn't really want to step out of his room for the day. He was sure it wasn't his father as his father just sent a message that he won't be back until a week. He contemplated to ignore the doorbell, and try to get back to his sweet dreams–

Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong!

Hiccup grumbled, swearing under his breath. Seriously, even in his dreams, he couldn't spend be allowed to be with his soul mate. Urk. Hiccup needed to get hold of his mind, It wasn't going to happen and was never going to happen.

She always knew, Hiccup reminded himself as if it was his mantra.

Whoever the visitor was seemed determined to continue with the barrage of doorbells – and for some reason, Hiccup had a bad feeling about this.

Begrudgingly, Hiccup stood up from his bed and stretched his limbs exaggeratedly as if he was trying to delay the time. The doorbells continued and Hiccup decided that stretching any longer wasn't going to help. Hiccup didn't bother getting himself appear presentable and just headed straight downstairs to 'excitedly' welcome the unwelcome visitor.

Hiccup sighed as finally, he arrived in the entrance of the house, stopping right in front of the gigantic two-door. He debated to grab a weapon for self-defense, but it was not like people in Berk were bold enough to cause trouble in Stoick Haddock's mansion. And if ever someone was planning something against the law, like, if ever someone was going to kidnap him for a ransom... They probably got the wrong household – they should know better how majestic his relationship with his father was.

So Hiccup finally unlocked the door, wincing when felt his left forearm pulsed when his left hand made a contact with the cold metal of the doorknob. When he was about to twist the knobs, the door was opened from the other side, and he was found himself drowning at a too familiar pair of ocean eyes, and dazzled by the ever so radiant golden-blonde hair.

There was Astrid Hofferson standing on the other side of the door. And before Hiccup could delve on another theory that he was still dreaming.

"Economics Project," Astrid said simply, and walked past him, welcoming herself into his home.

Gotta love dem’ cliffhangers. :P I told you the story will start picking up… and we finally get the real confrontation/interaction next chapter.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m not confident with this chapter…  So it would be great to hear from you guys, feed me with your validations… I need it! the next chapter will be even tougher to write. :D

How was it? Please don’t forget to hit like and/or reblog.

[press-a-repeatedly]

Zul’s Top 9 Games of 2018

By Zul Edwards

Heyyy it’s me. I’m back! What a year! 2018 has come and gone and many awesome games have been played by everyone here at PAR. The votes were tallied, the results are in, and I am included in that bunch. However, some of the games I played and loved this year were no-shows on our list. Some AMAZING games that I think deserve a little love on our corner on the internet.  So, I thought, if you out there reading this were interested, (spoiler alert, nobody is) here is my OWN personal top nine games of 2018.

So, let’s get this thing started with my number 9!... oh yeah, I only played 9 games in 2018. heh.

9) No Man’s Sky – So I was one of those gamers who was excited for NMS when it was first announced a few years back. Thought the idea of exploring a quintillion planet was awesome. Then the game came out, I heard it sucked, and I ignored it. Enter a couple years later when it was on sale, had a ton of updates and new features: true online with friends, customizable characters, base building, and a brand-new story. However, it wasn’t enough to keep me hooked. Don’t get me wrong, I liked exploring the various galaxies and doing various side quests, engaging in dogfights with pirates and mining for space gold, but overall it just still felt so empty, so repetitious, and so… blah. I guess I still prefer quality over quantity, even if the quantity is in the quintillions.  

8) The Alliance Alive – The first on the list of “Games only Zul played this year”. The Alliance Alive is a 3DS game from the creators of the classic “Legend of Legacy”, literally a game I borrowed from Justin, played for all of 30 minutes, then promptly returned to Justin never to be spoken of again. So, to my surprise when he told me the same studio was making another game, The Alliance Alive, but it was helmed by one of the writers of the Suikoden franchise, I was cautiously optimistic. Much to my (pleasant) surprise, the game was good! A blend of classic JRPG turned based battles with flairs of modernization: skills learned through fighting, increased stats based on the location of fighters in battles, and a darker story not usually found in those classic SNES/PS1 RPGs this seems to emulate.  While the main characters fall into some pretty cliché tropes, the side characters really shine. From giant axe-wielding lizard men that remind me of my own D&D character, to a demon-dog-man butler, to a mad child genius scientist who rides a duck robot, this game has a lot of flavor. I really should go back and finish.

7) Chasm – While it’s no secret that I love Castlevania games, I think it’s fair to say I’m not really a giant fan of Metroidvania games. I prefer the simpler side-scrolling action of Castlevania, constantly moving forward towards a goal of smacking Drac in the face with a metal whip, to the backtracking and map completing chore of most Metroidvania games. With that said, something about the less intense and simpler format of Chasm kept me hooked till the end. I didn’t mind backtracking and completing the map in Chasm because it wasn’t as vast or complicated as other games in the genre. It was colorful, had great music, stellar pixel art and a fun yet challenging battle system and platforming. Overall it was a blast to play, but it just got overshadowed in a year filled with superior games.

6) God of War – “WHAT THE FUCK?” I hear you slam on your keyboards as I place the unrivaled GOTY in a paltry 6th place. Don’t get me wrong, this game is good. In fact, it’s VERY good. However, for whatever reason, I guess this game didn’t hook me like it did for everyone else. I only have a passing familiarity with the GoW series. Even though I’m a diehard SonyBoy, I only ever played GoW 1 and never beat it. Kratos and Atreus are some of the best written and best-acted characters to come out of a video game in this year or any year. Hell, if we had a “best new character” category again this year, I would struggle to not put Atreus in the top 3. The music is amazing, the writing is fantastic, the scope, cinematography and the constant one camera perspective were all stellar achievements in the medium of gaming, not to mention I’m pretty much obsessed with all things Norse… BUT. I dunno. Little things kept taking me out of it. Atreus’s sudden, jarring mood swings. The poor pacing in certain parts. The sudden introduction of major characters and/or story elements, that felt kind of brushed over and/or rushed. The lackluster side content, the padding and the empty worlds. The game is good. But it never felt great to me. Most games that I love, I think about when I’m not playing them, then I rush home from work to play them because I want to complete them, either for the story or because the gameplay is addicting, but this game felt more like a chore sometimes. I didn’t even buy it, I just borrowed it from Butch earlier in the year when it came out. I’m sorry Cory. I tried but I just didn’t love this game.

5) Moonlighter – Now here’s a game I absolutely adored. Flew under my radar and was recommended by Nick. By day you’re a humble shopkeeper, selling various wares and curios. By night, (by… MOONLIGHT) you explore dungeons ala Link to the Past style in a top-down view, into randomly generated maps. Each area has different items to collect & new materials to find, which you bring back to the shop to sell, which with the money you earn, can craft new weapons, which will get you further into dungeons, which will mean you find more items to sell which means you make more gold to spend on armor and weapons, which means you can get better materials to keep delving deeper, WHICH MEANS… ahem. Ah yes. That classic feedback loop. It sucked me in. It’s simple but effective in keeping me engaged. Coupled with a great art style, fluid beautiful pixel graphics and a surprisingly good amount of story for this type of game, Moonlighter took a nice chunk of my time early in the year.

4) Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom – Another entry in “Games only Zul played this year”, NNK2 was a surprise hit for me. I never played NNK1 and heard rather negative things about it from Nick over the years. I bought NNK2 on a whim months after it came out because it was on sale and I was craving a good JRPG, and it did not disappoint. I loved pretty much everything about this game. The music, the story, the beautiful not quite Ghibli, but practically Ghibli art style, the characters, the mechanics, the town building, the combat… it was everything I was looking for. There were certainly parts in the middle that lagged a bit, and the general “go to town > solve town’s problem > make an alliance with the town” could be considered cliché or predictable, but every town felt unique and its inhabitants all felt genuine. Recruiting citizens into your kingdom and assigning them all a role in your castle was a time sink I didn’t realize I would be so into, but I think I spent more hours on that than anything else in the game. And it also gets marks for being the other child in a video game besides Atreus, King Evan, that I didn’t want to strangle, and in fact by the time the credits rolled, he’d probably be #2 or 3 in Best Character of the Year for me.

3) Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age – Now as far as JRPGS go, Dragon Quest is the ultimate grand-daddy, even more so than Final Fantasy, but it was a series I never really got into. I played some previous games in the series and found passing enjoyment in a couple titles but never enough to ever want to complete a game or seek out other entries in the series. That all kind of changed when I played DQ 11. DQ has never really strayed too far from its classic turn-based JRPG roots. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” would be their mantra I assume, and I love it. In a time when the turn-based system is all but gone from genre giant Final Fantasy, DQ has instead chosen to stick with it, and fully master the dying style. It was hands down the best JRPG I’ve played all year, and probably one of the best I’ve played in several years. It has everything: a great story, compelling characters, awesome music, amazing art style, engaging combat, fun side quests, a challenging yet fair difficulty curve, and it’s actually, really funny on top of all that. While the length might scare people away, (I clocked in right around 120 hours after getting the platinum trophy for 100% completion of the game) it’s some of the best time I spent gaming in a long time. It’s a classic in a modern era. It’s weird, if you said to teenage Zul “one of your favorite JRPGs ever will be Dragon Quest 11, and one of your least favorite JRPGs will be Final Fantasy 15”, he would never have believed you… but here we are.

2) Monster Hunter World – Ah yes. The one oddball in my gaming repertoire. I think we all have one of these, right? That one game/series that for whatever reason, sits outside your normal gaming habits, yet you love it, nonetheless. Maybe you love Halo and FPS games, but you also really like Animal Crossing for some reason. Or maybe you’re a diehard Dark Souls series fan but just can’t get enough of Cooking Mama as well. Variety is the spice of life they say, and while I’m primarily a “character & story first, RPGs, video games are art” kind of dude, something about smashing Monsters in the face with a giant hammer has kept me hooked on the Monster Hunter series for nearly 10 years. I love the challenging but fair battles, the deep customization, the various weapons and armors for both male and female hunters, the varied and unique monsters that all have their own ecology, musical themes, and battle styles you must learn and adapt to if you want to survive. It’s also linking up with friends (or even strangers online) and tackling a beast as a team. For all these reasons and so much more, this series sunk its claws in me from the very first time I played it, and it hasn’t let go. Monster Hunter World is the next-gen, beautifully realized game I’ve wanted for years; and it took the story, art, gameplay, and fun I’ve come to expect from this series to another level.

1) Red Dead Redemption II – I honestly don’t know how to write about this game. I can say all the other things I’ve said up until now about how great the music is (it’s amazing), how varied and alive the characters feel (they’re amazing), how stunningly awe-inspiring the scenery is or how fluid and lifelike the character animations are (they’re amazing), how the story and personal journey of Arthur Morgan literally brought me to tears more than once (he’s #1 in Best Characters btw. And they’re amazing), how rich every side quest is, how fun the mini-games are, how great the dialogue is, or any of the other truly breath-taking aspects of the game, but I don’t think I could do them justice. Hell, I don’t even know how to put them into words myself inside my own head. To me, this is one of those games that surpasses all of that. Yea, it has flaws, every game does, everyTHING does, but to me, it’s perfect, warts and all.  I can’t give it much higher praise than that, and it is absolutely the best game I played in years. When a game can give me an extensional crisis during some of its final moments, I think it’s safe to say that It’ll stick with me and has undoubtedly set a very high bar for all future games. The team at Rockstar outdid themselves and have my thanks for bringing this game into the world.

PHEW. Well, that’s it. Top 9 games of 2018 according to Zully Boy. Another great year in gaming for me personally and here’s to another great year in 2019! Lots to look forward to, and hopefully some hidden gems that’ll surprise me along the way. Happy Gaming everyone!

[neon-serpent-llc]

Here’s to 365 days of polygonal worlds, shot point-blank at our grey matter, some catching fire, others fizzling to the void! It must be that oh-so-pointless time to give out video game awards! For the third year running I present a cheeky list of spills and chills like no other (spoiler: Overwatch wins nothing). Anyway, blahblahblah, here's the awards already:

Game I Forgot Existed Until I Looked Up "Game Releases of 2016" Award

Quantum Break

Like previous winners Watch Dogs, and Evolve, this is a shining example of a game that simply vanished after it was released. Probably took hundreds of Artists four years to make, and then *poof* gone overnight. But alas, most games do, eh? Was the TV show any good?

Best Case for Virtual Tourism Award

The Division

Say what you will about the game itself, but this lovely facsimile of NYC is killer. And super accurate. If it weren't for all the invincible, hoodie-wearing street thugs it would be a pleasure to cruise this digital remake of my favorite city.

Genius or Madness Award

Zero Time Dilemma

A game that walks the line perfectly between the two. So clever, and yet maybe too clever? The twists are ridiculous when they work and outrageous when they don’t. Even so, its sheer confidence of going eight steps beyond everyone else, narrative-wise, is so refreshing. Truly a piece of Art that only works in the video game medium. Speaking of Art...

Most Unplayable Work of Art Award

The Witness

Conceptually, The Witness is flawless. Especially once you've seen the "real" ending, that perfectly frames the point of the whole experience (I watched it on YouTube). Unfortunately, to get that real ending is a monumentally painstaking chore. But, this isn't "difficult" Art in the sense that its meaning is opaque or it’ll challenge your worldview. Its simply that I have zero patience for puzzle games. If The Witness is an encapsulation of what it means to be Johnathan Blow, then it's clear that he and I couldn't be more different. And that's why it works as Art.

Don't Want to Be the Guy That Says, "I Told You So," but.... I Told You So Award

No Man's Sky

Even with its countless features, the spiritually-similar Spore got boring fast. How, then, was this bare-bones knock-off, No Man's Sky, going to keep people interested? And that was with the assumption that it would at least look nice. However, it absolutely did not. The novelty of seeing procedurally generated ANYTHING gets old fast, and it's made far worse when you're presented with a never ending stream of ugly, barren planets made of mud and more mud. Next year’s winner: Star Citizen?

Biggest Social Phenomenon Since the Wii Award

Pokemon Go

It didn't last long, but for a month this summer, everyone was out hunting in the parks of the world. Sure, we still mostly ignored each other, but there was a touch of bizarre camaraderie knowing we were all playing the same giant meta game. Like the Wii before it, it was a game-related subject you could talk to ANYBODY about, and they'd not only know what you meant, but have an opinion on the matter. How often does that happen? How odd was it to see a fifty year old business man asking where the nearest Clefairy could be found?

Welcome to the 90s Loading Time Award

Deus Ex Mankind Divided

I think I spent more time riding the subway in this game than I have in real life.

You Don't Know Your Audience Award

Metroid Prime Federation Force

As a new Nintendo IP this would have got tons of attention. Who doesn't like crazy new Nintendo ideas? But as a Metroid game it could only possibly get bad press. Why play as Samus when you can play as more-generic-than-Master-Chief, chibi space marines instead? A top tier faux pas.

They Finally Got it Right Award

Dragonball Xenoverse 2

After decades of awkward DragonBall games, they finally hit the sweet spot for over-the-top action with fun controls and interesting content (granted, I never played the first Xenoverse). In the year of Street Fighter 5, who would have thought I'd prefer the new DragonBall fighting game?

Well Deserved Retirement Award

Dark Souls 3

Still fun despite almost no alterations in what is clearly a formula now, but I'm glad this is the last hurrah, at least for a while. As I said when Dark Souls 2 came out, the magic is less pronounced with each additional entry. None will have that Demon's Souls impact anymore. But when it returns in 5 to 10 years, it'll be nostalgic to see the old tricks in action again.

Everyone's An Asshole Award

Dishonored 2

At least that's what the talking Heart makes it seem like. Half the populace has secretly killed their husband/wife, whereas the other half have burned down orphanages or something.

Late to the Party Award

Steins;Gate

Another game I played years after release. And damn it's good. Far more novel than game, but I don't mind for a story of this quality. Why wasn't I reading this earlier? Haven't got to Steins;Gate 0 yet, but I'm working on it.

Xenogears Disk 2 Award

Final Fantasy XV

Like Metal Gear Solid V last year, another all-around excellent game that suddenly sprints to the end, jumping vast stretches of story in an instant, clashing hard with the slow burn style of storytelling established before that. Much like Xenogears of yore, this is a game that tried to be far bigger than time/budget allowed.

Honestly, I wish these overly-epic games would get chopped in two, a la Kill Bill. At the point where the story would start getting rushed, end part one. Just end it. Then let its sales fund part two, the remainder of the story. Then again, you run the risk of a Too Human situation where you announce a trilogy and then don't sell enough to finish it. But honestly, Final Fantasy and Metal Gear would handily sell enough. I’m sure they’ll make a FFXV-2, but at best it’ll attempt to reassemble the pieces of its predecessors fractured ending.

Didn't Burn the House Down Award

Uncharted 4

The writers said the ending would "burn the house down" in terms of closure. But it didn't, at all, even slightly. Uncharted 5 could EASILY be made based off this exact ending, with no retcons and no changes to the game’s formula. They'd just have to make Drake constantly say, "I'm too old for this shit!!"

It Shouldn't Work, But it Soooo Does Award

Dragon Quest Builders

I don't like Minecraft. As a professional level designer, I find Minecraft‘s game building tools too crude to enjoy using at length (what a snob, eh?). And I don't like Dragon Quest. Too much grind, not enough story. Too simple. But for some reason when you combine the two it's fucking great! Dragon Quest adds the personality, charm, and flavor Minecraft was sorely lacking while also bringing enough story and tangible goals to make the building feel like a game and not like a chore. Plus, the game’s worlds are fairly handcrafted and feature proper level/zone design, which is greatly appreciated. The surprise hit of the year.

Best Game Industry Trend of the Year

Virtual Reality

I'm glad we're all working on it seriously now. Sure, the current headsets are uncomfortable as fuck, (can’t emphasize this enough), but its a step towards sunglasses-size VR in about ten years or so. Plus, by then everyone will be over their VR sickness so we won’t have to keep watering down the experiences we create. It’ll be sweet!

Worst Game Industry Trend of the Year

Infinite Sales

Between Steam, Good Old Games, Humble Bundle, Greenman Gaming, PSN Store, etc there is always a massive, store-wide sale going on somewhere. Wait a year and any game you want will be a mere $10. Why buy an unknown indie game when you can get a supremely polished, lengthy triple-A game for the same price? Indie developers basically need to charge $1 to get anyone's attention. Or make their game free *cough* ULTRAWORLD.

Best Game Awards of the Year

Obvious

Worst Game Awards of the Year

The Game Awards

A transparently corporate affair, the winners have all be carefully selected based on what needs to sell at Xmas. Companies won't even show up if one of their high profile games doesn't get an award. Even setting those complaints aside, it's hard to get interested or excited about a 2016 award show that happens with over a month of 2016 left; when wonderful games like The Last Guardian haven’t even been released yet. Speaking of which...

Game (Experience) of the Year

The Last Guardian

There's a layer of disconnect between the player and Last Guardian. The boy, Trico, and the camera all seem to disobey the player constantly. Many marked this as a flaw, but I think it's 100% intentional and part of why the game is so cohesive, thematically. For me, there's an added sense of surrealism when things are out of control. The chaos of physics interactions seem like they shouldn't work, yet suddenly you've made it to the next section of the castle. Did you really play that last section, or merely guide the chaos? Since you’re playing as a helpless child, lost in towering labyrinthine passageways, this obtuse disconnect feels entirely appropriate.

I feel it's intentional because Fumito Ueda and his team have managed to capture this sense of surreal play for three games in a row. Everyone manages to get to the end despite the feeling of disconnect. Trico is so aloof, yet will always get you where you need to go. Eventually. If everything functioned 100% predictably, God-of-War-precise, it would be FAR less memorable...as an experience. You, like the boy, legitimately struggle to escape the castle. Who has the guts to purposely make their controls imprecise to service the game, and theme, as a whole? It's amazing. A true work of Art. Game of the Year.

Non-Game of the Year

ULTRAWORLD EXODUS

The expansion and finale to whatever the hell this thing is. I liked it, but I think I'm literally the only one.

---------------------

So that's the year, says I. Looking over my list, its clear I didn't play many indie games, even though I complained about people not buying indie games (which is bad Karma for me, but I'll live). As always, if you disagree: good. All awards are pointless, just fluff opinions with a bow on top. Your awards are as good as mine, good as the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, etc etc forever. Til next year!

2015 Awards 2014 Awards

[thatguysamaniac-blog]

While looking for images of anthropomorphized versions of the new pokemon with their tits out, we stumbled upon some clickbait. Not just any clickbait, metacritic showing us a definitive fact based, unbiased top 50 games of the 2010's: 1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii, 2010) 97 2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch, 2017) 97 3. Red Dead Redemption 2 (PlayStation 4, 2018) 97 4. Grand Theft Auto V (PlayStation 4, 2014) 97 5. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch, 2017) 97 6. Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360, 2010) 96 7. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Xbox 360, 2011) 96 8. The Last of Us (PlayStation 3, 2013) 95 9. The Last of Us Remastered (PlayStation 4, 2014) 95 10. Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360, 2010) 95 11. Portal 2 (Xbox 360, 2011) 95 12. God of War (PlayStation 4, 2018) 94 13. Batman: Arkham City (Xbox 360, 2011) 94 14. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS, 2011) 94 15. BioShock Infinite (PC, 2013) 94 16. Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (Xbox 360, 2010) 93 17. Divinity: Original Sin II (PC, 2017) 93 18. Super Mario 3D World (Wii U, 2013) 93 19. Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (PC, 2010) 93 20. Persona 4 Golden (PlayStation Vita, 2012) 93 21. Persona 5 (PlayStation 4, 2017) 93 22. Mass Effect 3 (Xbox 360, 2012) 93 23. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PlayStation 4, 2015) 93 24. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii, 2011) 93 25. Rock Band 3 (Xbox 360, 2010) 93 26. Uncharted 4: A Thief's End (PlayStation 4, 2016) 93 27. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch, 2018) 93 28. INSIDE (Xbox One, 2016) 93 29. Forza Horizon 4 (Xbox One, 2018) 92 30. God of War III (PlayStation 3, 2010) 92 31. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception (PlayStation 3, 2011) 92 32. Bloodborne (PlayStation 4, 2015) 92 33. Celeste (Switch, 2018) 92 34. Super Street Fighter IV (PlayStation 3, 2010) 92 35. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PlayStation 4, 2015) 92 36. Undertale (PC, 2015) 92 37. Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS, 2013) 92 38. Divinity: Original Sin II - Definitive Edition (PlayStation 4, 2018) 92 39. Super Smash Bros. for Wii U (Wii U, 2014) 92 40. Journey (PlayStation 3, 2012) 92 41. Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii, 2012) 92 42. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch, 2017) 92 43. The ICO & Shadow of the Colossus Collection (PlayStation 3, 2011) 92 44. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Blood and Wine (PC, 2016) 92 45. LittleBigPlanet 2 (PlayStation 3, 2011) 91 46. Overwatch (PC, 2016) 91 47. Bayonetta 2 (Wii U, 2014) 91 48. Forza Horizon 3 (Xbox One, 2016) 91 49. Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers (PC, 2019) 91 50. Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch, 2019) Richie:  I LIEK THE DUBBLE ONES! The Last of Us x2 Divinity: Original Sin II x2 Play count: 16 off that list, that's also eight twentyfifths, which is roughly how much of my massive dick your mom can take. Cunzy: Now, we all know the issues with a crowd sourced list. It's dumb. It's like putting together a list of best fruit, or favourite socks. However, every now and then it's useful to pull the wang out to measure it against the communities' wang and see just how weird and misshapen our is (we share genital appendages) by comparison. Play count: 9! What an alternative darling I am! Richie: I mean they are great, and you know they will be, but you have to draw the line somewhere, So you have to choose and say, "Nah I wont play this", better the time sink you know, right? And you choose your reasons, you skim an article, and find the thing that is slightly wrong and then activate your inner drama queen to say "OMG that is not a game I want to play I cant believe they dont have Fred Durst doing the voice of the main character" or something equally nuts. And there is plenty of them on that list that I simply refuse to play for these reasons. And I guess that's fine? Time is finite, I cant go back ten years and play all of the PS3 games I never played? Can I? Cunzy: GUILTY CONFESSIONS, A.K.A those games you know are great but just never got around to: Mario Odyssey, LoZ (the whole franchise), Red Dead (series), Mass Effect (series), Persona (series), Divinity (series), Souls (series)... where do I hand my gamer card back? Richie: Also Overwatch... Do people actually play it, or is that there just because people fiddle with their genitalia to fund cosplay camgirls? Cunzy: Yes, watch me throat this widowmaker dildo on my stream now. Richie: So do we disagree with this list? Well, to be fucking honest I'm not going to research it myself, I'm not sure I have played much more than 50 games this year, as far as i can recall, I played a lot of Diablo 3 and Fallout/Skyrim... but yeah I'm sure the above is good... Actually fuck that, Games of the decade for me are... Every iteration of pokemon that came out in the last 10 years, X/Y, Sun/Moon, Black/White, Sword/Shield, Flaps/Scrotum. Skyrim SNOW VIKING DRAGON SHOUTING Animal Crossing, Shake the tree for Nook. Lego Everything, play, collect, repeat Hyperdimensions Neptunia. Ultra Japanese anthropomorphised consoles as Anime girls. Vert is best Waifu.  Fallouts So many plus expansions, Chandler as a bad guy is special.  Diablo 3, Clicky loot loot  WoW Classic, because...  FFXIII-2, Timetravel-bocolina  Tomodatchi Life, Make your friends on the DS into miis, interact with them, cry alone at night Smash Bros. Repeatedly main Peach till she becomes top tier, yaay Jackbox games, All Gems, probably the best multiplayer gaming actually this decade.  Doki Doki Literature Club, MO-NI-KA Batmanzes, grapple glide Southparkgames, play the stories you have watched and add a weak RPG element. Dragon Ages-s, Way better than mass effect Every Naruto game. Like lego, but with anime ninjas Barrel Scrape: the game, where you frantically look at your steam collection for the games you have most played, and check the dates of your 360 games to see if they fall into this category I played 18 games it seems? Cunzy: *gasps for air*, wipes synthetic jizz from Lollipop Chainsaw skirt. Ten years is a long time. Here's my top 18 games of the decade. Silent Hill Shattered Memories 2010 Silent Hill without the combat and all the more psychologically chilling because of it. Great setting, theme and story. One I regularly come back to and still brick myself.  Endless Ocean 2 2010 Expanding on the first one in every way, shame there aren't more nature lovin' games in this ilk.  Monster Hunter Tri 2010 The only one in the series to have kept my attention despite it being the 'wrong one' according to many in the MH community.  Lost Planet 2 2010 Probably one of the games with the most comprehensive couch co-op mode and ridiculous bosses to team up against. Absolutely bonkers story, giant monsters and jetpacks. What more do you need? Dead Rising 2 2010 I wasn't too bothered with DR3 and DR4 despite absolutely loving the first game. They seem to have crossed the line between goofy but po-faced and just silly apocalypse zombie killing. DR2 arguably gives you a playground more memorable than Willamette and stays on the 'serious' side.  Dead Space 2 2011 One of my favourite gaming franchises I think, excellently built world that is complemented by the tie in anime, comics and spin-off games.   Resident Evil Revelations 2012 It was a good decade for Resident Evil with almost every game seeing multiple ports, re-releases and remasters. It's a close call between Resident Evil 2 and Revelations on the Nintendo 3DS for my favourite of the decade but this one really got it's biohazardous talons-with-eyes into us especially raid mode. Revelations 2 is fantastic co-op but the raid mode side of things isn't as fluid as the original Revelations. Criminally, aside from a brief VR foray into Resident Evil 7, we errr didn't play it.  The Last Story 2012 Oh, I fell in love with this game and despite the small geography of Lazulis City it felt like a living city with many surprises tucked away. Great soundtrack to boot.  Fire Emblem Awakening 2013 Another series that had a rock solid decade starting with Awakening then the rest of the 3DS trilogy, an excellent Warriors game and even Heroes wasn't too bad. Although Fire Emblem Three Houses is the superior game, it's the cast and the support system pioneered by Awakening that has this in my top 18.  Tomb Raider 2013 Sometimes the context in which you play a game is as important as the game itself. A weekend in 2013 with fellow Tomb Raider fans blasting through this excellent and long awaited reboot is fondly remembered. Last of Us 2013 It's hard to put a finger on just one thing that makes this game phenomenal but there's not been much like it since.  LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2013 There were some great LEGO games this decade from opposites LEGO Worlds and LEGO Dimensions to movie tie-ins and a strong series of games based on the Marvel and DC comics. The Marvel trilogy in particular was outstanding.  Everyone's Gone to the Rapture 2015 With age, the more energetic games can leave me wheezing with exhaustion just thinking about playing them and EGttR is a perfect respite from the shootbang games. Honestly, I'd be keen to play more games just like this. The English countryside setting in particular made it extra special.  Mario Kart 8 Deluxe 2017 Honestly, who actually puts Mario Kart on their top games list? Well thinking about it and looking at play records it's probably the perfect couch multiplayer game but with a real challenging depth to those looking to break records and get a hold of those elusive gold kart components.  Splatoon 2 2017 Cheating slightly here by including Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion as one entry. I'm really not a huge fan of the central competitive gameplay of Splatoon, although I've put in the hours, but the single player side of things are a worthy first person puzzler(?) in their own right.  Into the Breach 2018 When the options paralysis sets in, which is often, I just spin up Into the Breach. Three hours and a few runs later I'll question why I don't play this game even more often. Hundreds of hours in and still challenges to do, runs to try.  Super Smash Brothers Ultimate 2018 Part game, part nerdy love letter to gaming, part video game museum.  Pokemon Sword and Shield 2019 Okay as Richie pointed above any of the pokemon mainline series could have filled this slot but the last one makes most sense. Twas also a good decade for the spinoffs. I enjoyed Pokemon Conquest a huge deal, put an embarrassing amount of time into Quest as well as Picross, Rumble, Duel, Go and mystery dungeons.  And there we have it, lists, we'll be back at some point in the future with more lists, perhaps with a list spanning the last 2 decades, to present you with our Game of the Century (spoilers, it's SSX Tricky). Also if anyone has a word to describe my above rant about the act of proactively dismissing something despite knowing it will be good to avoid committing to the time sink, please let me know. We live in a time of labels, there must be a word for this! Love and where do you even start with persona! Richie + Cunzy X

http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2020/01/top-50-games-of-decade-commentary.html

[bastardsunlight]

RANT AHEAD!! ❤

Friendly reminder: Ulfric invited the dark elves into Windhelm after Vvardenfell threw a shit-fit and displaced a fucklot of ‘em—and he’s not been on the throne of Windhelm long--maybe fourteen years. That bit is important. One of the dark elves you speak to in Windhelm (one of the well-off ones) says that it’s basically due to the dark elves’ lack of willingness to actually engage in the Skyrim way of life (clinging to their Morrowind ways of living—not culture, they’re obviously free to worship whomst the fuck ever in Windhelm) that keeps them impoverished.

 There are TWO nords in Windhelm who’re shitheads at the dunmer and, confirmed by a dunmer NPC, all they do is get shitfaced and stumble through the gray quarter at night, yellin’ crap—rude, but honestly, the Dragonborn can beat one of ‘em down and they lay tf off. They might be representative of Windhelm nords, but then the dark elf who is well off should also count as representative of how to be successful in a new country. He left the gray quarter and made a life for himself, which any of them can do, because it isn't actually confirmed to be a law that the dark elves have to stay in the gray quarter. One elf says “they won’t let us live outside that slum” but another elf, who lives outside the slum, says that the dark elves who live there are essentially oppressing themselves--much like the subject of this rant, every citizen of Skyrim will have a different perspective. 

Galmar Stone-fist, Ulfric’s right hand, is the one who tells the DB this, saying something along the lines of “he invited them here, but I wish he’d asked the rest of us first”. Meaning Ulfric DID defy some potential racism in order to offer asylum and shelter to the dark elves (I say potential, because ofc it could just be that life in Windhelm is tough enough without opening its gates to refugees). He stuck his neck out for elves. That’s a canon truth. The fact that you, a DB of ANY race, can literally join the Stormcloaks and rise in the ranks without a problem sort of negates the “racism” argument, if you are using in-game facts and mechanics. “Oh, but the player character has to be able to join either side” yeah that’s true--a lot of stuff in the game is set up for the PC. All the Stormcloak soldiers are human, but hey guess what? So are the Imperial soldiers. 

So miss me with that “ulfric is a racist” thing. That’s so simple, so very very simple and a really shallow interpretation of Ulfric’s character. Has he done no wrong? PFF fuck no. He killed a man in an argument over ideals and what a proper Skyrim should BE. Elisif is a widow ‘cause Torygg couldn’t best Ulfric, but the fight itself was fair, according to canon—members of Elisif's own court (which she doesn't rule, btw, Falk Firebeard does) confirm it. So riddle me this:

Is it wrong to desire liberation from a small, centralized government, who is under the thumb of an even more removed dominion of some folks who are slowly but surely killing all religious dissidents in your country because one of your gods makes them squirmy? [cue crusade banners]

The aldmeri dominion (and thence, the thalmor) are racist motherfuckers. The idea of Tiber Septim becoming a god is anathema, not only because he is mortal, but because he’s a HUMAN. Lorkhan et. Al. are elven gods, elven concepts, elven ideas—the other eight divines are Aedra, which were of the same nature as the Daedra ‘til they created Nirn. Now, could it be that the Aldmeri Dominion would balk against an ELF becoming a god? I can’t answer that. But the blessings of Talos work. They confer healing and shit on you, so I hate to break it to ya, elves, Talos is a god. [cue Heimskr’s speech “WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION]

Engaging in religious oppression is the overarching theme of the Aldmeri Dominion. Conquering the Empire allows them to keep suppressing the worship of Talos. Talos is a human who became god--he was a nord, in fact, and the FOUNDER of the empire. He is a legitimate god whose presence upsets the elves because he was mortal. Is that racism? If they’re pissed because he was man rather than mer? Yes. If they just find the idea of an ascendant mortal anathema, still a tentative yes. Oppressing the beliefs of a people is a from of racism. 

The Nords came to Skyrim from Atmora thousands of years ago and they got along fine with the snow elves ‘til they unearthed an artifact in Saarthal. It was at that time the falmer felt they had no choice but to attack. Ysgramor lost his son(s?) and thus mounted a counterattack, driving the falmer to retreat into the waiting arms of the frankly shady dwarves, who promised asylum, but enslaved them. This is NOT a metaphor for the oppression of native peoples in the United States, so don’t like, try and make it one. The falmer struck first, the humans won and thus the Nord people are the oldest native residents of Skyrim--we’re talking millennia, here, people, not a century, but literal thousands of years that Skyrim has been human, specifically Nord, land. 

I mean, Tullius is kind of racist if you really feel the need to go there (I don’t, but see Imperial side dialogue before you kill Ulfric “wherever you people go when you die” in which Legate Rikke, a Nord herself, reminds him “Sovngarde, sir.”). That’s how racism works. People will say shit that disrespects your culture or way of life, but if you’re close to ‘em, they don’t see it as a problem, because they don’t see you as “like all the other ____.” Now, Tullius doesn’t justify himself to Rikke because he is her superior officer, but it just goes to show that, for being the imperial rep in Skyrim, he gives very few fucks about the culture. Now, is this most likely because he is tired and does not want to be there? Yep. Does that excuse him? Only if Ulfric’s belief in his own cause excuses him. The empire is a puppet for the Thalmor, thus Tullius is a puppet of the thalmor as well and if you don’t think that destroys his pride as an imperial soldier (same as Ulfric?????), well, maybe it’s time for another study in human nature.

Yes, it’s true that Tullius prioritizes the safety of the citizenry at Helgen. Ulfric doesn’t. 1. Ulfric is prolly a little pissed, 2. He’s just been arrested for beating a dude in a fair fight, 3. He has NO troops, and 4. He’s trained with the Greybeards; he understands what a dragon can do WAY more intimately than Tullius and he knows better than to get in the way of that fire. Skyrim is a rough fuckin’ place and the addition of dragons doesn’t help. Neither man backs down from the civil war, either, so don’t bother with that angle. “Oh Ulfric didn’t stop civil warring to fight dragons” yeah nor did Tullius. Methinks being the commander of an army is not so simple as “okay guys let’s stop fighting and be bffs”. Tullius is there on orders he doesn’t want to follow, but Ulfric also doesn’t seem like he WANTS to tear Skyrim up--he feels it is necessary, same as Tullius feels quelling the rebellion is necessary. It’s all in your perspective--and yes, I’ve played the Imperial questline; I was a high elf and it made sense, story-wise.

Aligning with the Empire means aligning with the Thalmor. Aligning with the Stormcloaks also means aligning with the Thalmor. No matter what, you’re either directly serving them or their interests. If this bothers you, you understand the desire for an independent, sovereign Skyrim. 

Ulfric does what he does because he just spent however the fuck many years fighting against the aldmeri dominion (after, mind you, leaving the training of the greybeards to stand up for an ideal), fighting FOR THE EMPIRE, hoping to keep the lands of men a separate, sovereign land unto themselves, with their various provinces and governments under the empire. He was NOT opposed to the empire until they bowed to the white-gold concordat, an agreement which promised peace (a good thing yes?) in exchange for dropping the ninth divine, Talos, Tiber Septim-become-god (religious persecution, and please recall this isn’t just “take down all shrines of talos”—this is literally hunt down and root out talos worshippers in their own homes [markarth quest]). While Ulfric is being tortured by the Thalmor, his countrymen are being forced to bow the knee to the Summerset isles and a people who have no real idea how life, commerce, and politics in Skyrim should and do work, all because they’re opposed to the worship of the LEGITIMATE GOD Talos.

The Thalmor convinced Ulfric that the information he FINALLY gave them after being tortured actually helped them take the Imperial capitol. It didn’t, of course, the capitol had already fallen, but he carries that guilt. That’s canon, too. He carries the guilt of thinking it’s his fault the Empire lost the imperial city (the first time--they took it back during the battle of the red ring like one or two years later) which, btw, the Aldmeri dominon started, for the record.

Lemme remind you that many of the citizens of Skyrim thought Torygg was a bit of a weakling, as well, that he was content to bow to the empire’s wishes, the wishes of the aldmeri dominion, without seeking a better position in trade, taxes, etc. for Skyrim. Is that a reason to kill someone? Well probably the fuck not. But you know what? These are fantasy politics and it wasn’t as if Torygg was caught off guard. They were dueling. [cue Yu-Gi-Oh! opening]. So the empire captures Ulfric and is gunne behead him—and well y’all played the opening.

I’m only saying this because I cannot cruise the Ulfric Stormcloak tag without seein’ this garbagio and it’s killin’ me. Is he a sweet cinnamon roll who can do no wrong? No. Are the stormcloak’s skyrim’s third reich? Also fucking no??? It is just my own observations and interpretations of the events and dialogues in-game which lead me to this conclusion. Skyrim has a right to secede from the Empire which serves the Aldmeri Dominion more than it serves its own people. Don’t forget that the Aldmeri dominion is engaged in active oppression of a legitimate faith. Don’t forget that Skyrim staying allied with the Empire doesn’t strengthen the Empire for some speculative, future uprising. Don’t forget that it’s unwise to apply real world politics to a fantasy world with such completeness that you cannot recall the actual details and parameters OF that fantasy world.

I mean at the end of the day, it’s a videogame, right? So… grain o’ salt.