#but like. it means I haven’t finished my granola bar and when I don’t eat before clinic

[humofnight]

can they invent a me that’s not nauseous

[shownusgfayoooo]

A Potions Mishap

Pairing: Seonghwa x f!Y/N

Tropes: Hogwarts au, Slytherin!Hwa, Ravenclaw!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining

T/W: injury with a knife, feeling dizzy/sick, f word

Words: ~4k

my masterlist

You normally enjoy Potions class, you really do. But, today, the thought of spending the whole afternoon in the dungeons was filling you with a sense of tediousness and dread. Not only was it a perfect summer day- one that you couldn’t even enjoy because of double potions, but it was also exam season- so, even if you hadn’t had class blocking up the whole day, then studying for your N.E.W.T.’s was enough to ruin anyone’s mood. Add a granola bar for every meal for the past two weeks and barely four hours of sleep from the night before, and the equation spelled a truly annoying and exhausting end to your school day.

Noticing the sour look on your face, your friend and fellow Ravenclaw housemate, Hongjoong waved his fork in front of your face. “Earth to Y/N.”

You wrinkled your nose at him. “Whaaaaat?”

“Have you seen the time? We have class in 5 minutes, and – did you seriously not eat anything, again?”

You blinked down at your where your plate should be. Instead, you saw your Potions text, riddled with notes in the margins and covered in pink highlights. To the side sat your plate of food, untouched.

“Ah, shit.”

 Hongjoong began to open his mouth to lecture you before you cut him off, “Just save it- as if you haven’t forgotten to eat because you also got caught up in some project at the table!”

He quickly closed his mouth and gave you a stern smile instead. “At least I don’t do it every day. From tomorrow onwards, if you don’t eat, I will force feed you, I swear.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and finally pulled your sandwich towards you. Still, you only managed a few bites before it was time to go.

You sighed as you walked down the stairs. You were really not looking forward to – before you could even finish the thought, you were attacked from behind. Gasping, you almost lost your balance down the last step, but the perpetrators steadied you. You shot a look of annoyance over both your shoulders at the two banes of your existence.

“Aw, noona. What’s got you sighing like that?” San asked.

“Or should we ask- whoooo?” Wooyoung wagged his eyebrows at you.

You huffed as you pushed them both off. “As if. Try to kill me again, and I’ll hex you so bad you won’t be able to sit your exams, I mean it.”

“Oh, noona. Please hex me. PLEASE. I really don’t wannaa take these fucking N.E.W.T.s.” Mingi added.

You pushed ahead of the three Gryffindor idiots, hiding your smile. “Why do I even bother?”

A low chuckle reached your ears. “I ask myself the same question every day, Y/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat, but you managed to keep your features cool as you turned your head up to Seonghwa who was holding the door to the classroom open for you and the guys. You managed to say hello and thank him before the blush could really bloom on your cheeks and across your nose.

Hongjoong wagged his eyebrows at the look on your face as he took his usual spot next to you at the worktable. He was the only one who knew of your crush on the Slytherin.

It had all started in 6th year. Up until then, Potions had always been taught to you with the Hufflepuffs. As such, you, and Hongjoong for that matter, had never had this class with the Gryffindors or the Slytherins. However, at the N.E.W.T. level, there were barely enough students to fill a single classroom. This is when you first came across Seonghwa in a classroom setting. Even though you were friends with his “band of pirates” as they liked to call themselves, you had never seen or interacted with Seonghwa outside of the group. Here in class, San and Wooyoung were paired up at a workstation, as they had been their whole Hogwarts career, and the same was true for you and Hongjoong. Though Mingi and Seonghwa were from Gyrffindor and Slytherin, respectively, they had never been partners before 6th year. Even though they had always been friends, House always came first. Even you had always paired with Hongjoong, even though you were both close with Yunho who was a Hufflepuff who you had shared Potions with for 5 years.

“I’m telling you, Y/N. We gotta glamour your face or something, you’re as red as a tomato.”

You looked at Joong in horror as your hands came up to cover your cheeks. “Is it really?”

It was at that moment that Seonghwa reached his table and took his seat in front of you two. “Everything alright?” He looked between the two of you.

“Yes, of course!” You laughed awkwardly as you hit Hongjoong on the arm. It sounded a bit too high even to your ears.

Seonghwa’s smile was stiff on his face as he nodded and took his seat, just as your professor started the class.

“Alright class. New orders from above. Today, we are going to be striving towards inter-house unity!”

As the class gave each other unsure looks, the false cheery smile slipped off Professor Nott’s face. “I know it’s annoying guys, but please find a partner from a House that is not yours. And before any of you try to be sneaky- yes, I’m looking at you Mingi- if you already have a partner from a different house, then find a new one! We’re going to be working on the Shrinking Solution today, and you all know that needs two hands for the chopping and stirring that needs to happen at the same time.” The class groaned. “Do not kill me; it was not my idea,” he held up his hands. “Why the Headmaster decides at the very last minute of your academic career to shake things up; I’ll never understand,” he muttered under his breath, not quite successfully.

You stood from your spot with your bookbag, unsure of where to turn. But, before you could even take a breath, Mingi came around your corner of the table, jostling you, and wrapped his arms around Hongjoong. “Dibs!” The Ravenclaw was quick to shrug out of it and yell and start wagging a finger at him, but Mingi just stuck his tongue out at San and Wooyoung across the aisle who were throwing their arms up in the air and giving him the finger.

In the chaos, Y/N didn’t see Seongwa scowl at Mingi as she steadied her balance yet again.

You chuckled and started to make you way over to the Gryffindors you were most comfortable with, before San and Wooyoung quickly and efficiently swapped partners with the Slytherin boys that always sat in front of them, Changbin and Leeknow.

You frowned and quickly let your eyes dart around the whole classroom. Everyone was paired up, except for Seonghwa. He sat calmly at his spot, twirling a quill between his long fingers, almost as if he was waiting for you.

He sensed your gaze and looked up at your from under his long lashes.

“Wanna be my mine?”

Even though you were quick to surmise the true meaning of his not-so-innocuous question, you couldn’t help your eyes from widening as your heart heard a different meaning.

“S-sure, I’ll be your partner.” You took Mingi’s vacated seat quickly and avoided his gaze.

As the class settled, Professor Nott started his brief lecture on the potion. Your knee bounced under the table. You were so aware of every line of Seonghwa’s body, just inches from yours. Did you and Hongjoong sit this close, also? You had truly never noticed. The space between you and the Slytherin felt so heavy with static. Were you moving too much? You stopped shaking your leg, but that lasted two seconds, before your fingers started drumming against the desk.

Seonghwa suddenly leaned forward from his slouched position to place his forearms on the table next to where yours were. His fingers covered the movement of yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, but you kept your eyes on the board, as you felt him lean his head towards yours.

“If you’re so nervous about this potion, Y/N, don’t worry, I’m the top of this class. I’ve got you.” His whisper was a tickle against your ear.

Was it just you being delusional or did all his words have double meanings? You smirked back even as your heat raced in your chest at both his proximity and his teasing words.

You met his eyes briefly to retort back. “Actually, you’ll find that your tied for that position, with me. So, maybe it is I that will be carrying you.”

He smiled back, and your eyes caught in a moment that lasted what seemed like forever, before it was broken by the sound of scraping chairs.

You both blinked before also standing to start your potion. Pink dusted both student’s cheeks, unbeknownst to the other.

“Oh also, class! I know you know this but be careful when you’re chopping the cowbane. Even the juice on your knife is very poisonous blah blah, get to it!” You smiled at Professor T’s cavalier attitude, even though you knew he cared very deeply for his students and educating every generation of students he could be available to.

You and Seonghwa quickly settled into an efficient routine. It was almost like you could read each other’s minds; without even speaking, you both divvied up the tasks in a way that made sense to you. He had already chopped the shrivelfigs and added their juice to the cauldron, while you intuitively prepared the next steps by mincing the daisy root and preparing the hairy caterpillars as he heated the cauldron gently.

You were surprised, as you had never had such chemistry with another Potions partner before. You always had a hard time doing group projects, because you thought you could just do better on your own and were often irritated at having to go at someone else’s slower pace. You and Hongjoong had always worked well together, with the minor bumps caused by his temper tantrums and your passive aggressiveness, but you had thought that he was the best a partner could ever be. As you watched Seonghwa vigorously stir the potion, a step you always hated because your arm always got tired, you realized you couldn’t have been more wrong. You both naturally gravitated towards the different aspects of the potion that you favored and preferred. It was honestly euphoric to be working together like this, and the academic in you was singing with joy.  

You were working on juicing the leeches when the heat of the room started getting to you. The many fires under the cauldrons made it so that the dungeons were sweltering. Somewhere in the room, Wooyoung started screaming that he had accidentally added rose petals instead of daisy root, and the whole class groaned because any first year knows that combining rose to blood from anything made for the most disgusting smell. The fumes started to make you dizzy, and you were suddenly regretting only eating two bites of a sandwich.

Seonghwa paused in his shaking of the rat spleen you had just handed over, barely a tremble to your hand. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

You blinked at him, surprised. “Yes..?”

His eyes looked into yours deeply. You were not used to someone noticing when things were barely off with you. This little bit of dizziness was nothing.

“If you’re sure.” He didn’t look too convinced as he turned to stir the cauldron clockwise.

As you started working on the cowbane, these thoughts took another turn. Not only was he the best partner you had ever had, but he was also so caring and asked after your wellbeing! Your crush reared its big head before you could stifle it down.

You were carefully slicing the second piece of cowbane to render more liquid- the first had not yielded enough for the potion. All of a sudden, the dizziness came back in full force and your vision swam before your eyes. The knife missed its mark and instead imbedded in your thumb. You blinked and swayed.

“Y/N!”

A hand wrapped around your left wrist, while another took the knife out of your right hand.

“Sorry, Seonghwa.” You had ruined the potion. He had stopped stirring because of you.

Along with the dizziness came a new feeling. Your body felt so floaty. Everything was too bright and too loud.

A voice swam in from far away.

“I think the knife had some juice on it, Professor, and she cut herself pretty deep. I’ve been holding pressure, but…”

“No, you did the exact right thing, Seonghwa. Don’t worry; she’ll be okay. We just need to get her to Madame Patil in the hospital wing, and the antivenom will fix her right up.”

There was the sound of a bomb exploding.

“I’ll go take care of San’s potion- he clearly added the rat spleen incorrectly, seeing as it misfired. Are you ok to take Y/N up by yourself?”

“Yes, sir.”

Then, an arm wrapped around your waist to pull you up from your chair. His other arm took yours over his shoulder as he began to take you out of the classroom.

“Seonghwaaa.”

“Y/n, just hang on, ok? We’re going to the Hospital Wing.” He looked down at you.

“You’re too tall.”

He looked down at you, confused, but did not stop his hurried rush across the corridor to the stairs. “Excuse me?”

“My arm hurts at this angle.” Why were words coming out so readily right now? Was it the cowbane?

He brought you both to a standstill. “Um, yea, it’s one of the effects of cowbane poisoning. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was uncomfortable.” You could barely feel alarm that there was no filter between your brain and your mouth through the haziness that was descending over your whole body.

He looked unsurely up the stairs and back at you twice before his face set in determination.

“Ok, Y/N, I’m going to have to carry you.”

“No!” You stepped back shakily. You were definitely too heavy. This was going to be so embarrassing. But, also, it would feel so good probably. To be in his strong Chaser arms. Oh my god. Wait, he could hear everything. This is so embarrassing.

He smiled privately to himself before pulling you closer. “I hate to do this without your consent, but technically, you are not sound of mind and actively have a poison in your system, and Professor told me to get you there as fast as possible, so-”

And with that, he swung you up in your arms, like you weighed nothing and started off up the stairs.

The sudden change of position set your stomach rolling and the dizziness came back with doubled force. You whimpered and burrowed your head further into his neck, forgetting to fight him for manhandling you.

“I don’t feel so good.”

Seonghwa glanced worriedly down at your face which was turning an unhealthy-looking shade of green. “We’re almost there, love. Just hang on. I’m getting you there.”

You whimpered and tried to focus on breathing in and out slowly. Still, even though you were feeling so sick, the comfort and exhilaration of being so close to Seonghwa was not lost on you. If you threw up on Seonghwa right now, you were gonna kill yourself.

“Please don’t. I’d miss you too much.”

“Ugh, please stop reading my mind,” you managed to say between clenched teeth.

He chuckled quietly before depositing you softly onto a bed. Oh, a bed? Was it his bed? What was he going to do? What did you want him to do? Before your brain could come up with incriminating ideas to answer that question, a soft voice interrupted you.

“Oh, thank Salazar she’s conscious.”

“Um, Ms. Y/N, you are in the Hospital Wing.” There was a laughing lilt to her voice before it turned serious. “Mr. Seonghwa told me of the situation that happened in the Potions class, and I have just administered the antidote. It takes effect in 15 minutes, so just try hang on a little bit longer as it clears out the poison in your system. I also administered an anti-emetic, so just breathe in and out so you don’t throw up the antidote, or we’ll have to start all over and you will just feel worse as the cowbane spreads further. Just these 15 minutes, Y/N, and after that you should start to feel better within the hour. I’ll go whip up a hydration potion, also, because your basic diagnostic charm did not look good, young lady.”

You finally blinked open your eyes to see the high ceiling above you. Madame Patil was not wrong in taking extra measures to make sure you didn’t throw up. You felt like a ragdoll thrown at sea. The nausea was overwhelming, and the panic that it was causing wasn’t helping either. Before you could start hyperventilating in full, a hand grabbed yours.

You turned your head to where Seonghwa sat in the chair next to your bed.

“Sh, just focus on me.” He inhaled exaggeratedly and raised his eyebrows at you to follow.

You clamped down your jaw harder and mimicked him. It helped a fraction. Then, the next breath came easier. As did the next.

You don’t know how much time passed, but looking at him helped you hold on and focus even when your whole body was thrown in turmoil. Staring into his eyes and seeing him stare back just as hard at your own anchored you and healed you in more than one way.

You didn’t even realize 15 minutes had passed and that the nausea had stopped until Healer Patil bustled back into the room, a pale pink potion in her hands.

“You did so well, Y/N,” she soothed quietly. At the nurturing tone and the knowledge that you could finally relax a little now, your eyes welled up.

“There, there- none of that. The worst has passed. Now, drink this.”

You wrinkled your nose and glanced at Seonghwa in dread. Rehydrating potions tasted so bad. When will the horrors end?

He shook his head at you sternly. “Hurry up, Y/N.”

“Ugh.” You downed the whole glass, and Healer Patil leaned you back softly onto the headboard.

“All done. Now, you just rest. I’m writing you a pass for classes tomorrow as well.”

“Oh, but-”

She looked down at you sternly. “No buts. I know it’s exam season, Y/N, but if you want to write those exams to the best of your ability, then you need to take care of your body as well as your mind. That means eating well, sleeping enough, and resting when you need to. Your body has just undergone a major ordeal even if it was healed so quickly, so give it the time it needs to recuperate.”

“Okay, okay. I promise I’m not that bad at taking care of myself!”

“Do you think my diagnostics lied to me? You haven’t eaten well in the past week and a half from the looks of it and are severely dehydrated! The poison wouldn’t have worked so fast if you weren’t already so compromised!”

At that, you had nothing to say. The older Ravenclaw nodded and sniffed as she walked away.

That left you alone with Seonghwa. As the haziness of your mind started to clear, the events of the past hour came back to you.

You snuck a glance at him. He looked the most worried you had ever seen him. Even more than when Yeosang had been upset- this sent any of the pirates into a spiral. More than when Jongho had to take a break from Quidditch because of a knee injury. More than any occasion before.

You looked back down at your hands. It was surprising to see the cut that had started this whole fiasco. Though it wasn’t that deep of a gash, it was pretty long, almost the whole length of your thumb. You winced as you prodded at it.

“Oh, here. Let me heal that for you.”

You looked up, surprised. “Oh, that’s okay. It’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is.” He frowned at you. You were scared at his expression. He had never looked at you like that before. Just what exactly had you said in your state of delirium? What if he hated you now?

Before you could suggest that Healer Patil could do it, he took your hand gently in his and pulled it towards him. He softly muttered the incantation as he waved his wand over the cut, and the cooling rush of his magic tingled all the way up your arm. It was so intimate.

The heady feeling of happiness rushing through your chest at the feel of his magic coming up against yours halted in its tracks. What if he hated you now? His whole demeanor was so off. You had to clear the air.

“Listen, Seonghwa. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for noticing what happened immediately and getting me here so quickly and helping me… And, also, I wanted to say I’m sorry.” You were glaring at where your hands were twisting the sheets, so you missed his look of surprise. “I feel bad that you had to take care of me and that I took time out of your learning time, especially when we know that the Shrinking Solution is probably gonna be tested on the N.E.W.T.s, and I – I , whatever I said, I’m sorry. If you could just tell me what I said that offended you, I promise I probably didn’t mean it. Or if I did, then I can just explain-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” His hands covered both of your own.

You looked up at him, your lip between your teeth.

“Who said I’m mad? I’m not. I promise.”

“But you- you looked so serious just now.”

“Well, yea! Of course, I am.” He ran his hands through his hair agitatedly. “But not because I’m mad that I had to take care of you or leave class because of you or any dumb reason you just came up with right now.” He smiled at you.

You laughed weakly. “O-oh.”

He looked up at the ceiling and muttered under his breath, “Fuck it.”

His hand came up to wrap around your own again. “Y/N, I was worried. Just now. That’s why I looked so serious. And who wouldn’t be when you hear that the girl you’re in love with pushes herself so hard that she is physically unwell? That a Healer who was trained for years had to spell that out so clearly for you?”

Where the poison couldn’t finish the job, his words just had- your heart was stopped. But that was surely impossible, because you could feel the telltale burn of blood across your cheeks. Could a girl still blush if her heart was stopped? You dropped your gaze to your hands again.

He chuckled quietly at the look on your face and leaned impossibly closer still.

“But, you don’t have to worry. I won’t look so serious again, because I figured out a solution to my problem.”

“What’s that?” Why was your voice so shaky?

“Since you won’t do it yourself, I’m just going to have to take care of you.”

You looked at his eyes, his impossibly soft brown eyes. And you saw reflected in them for the first time the same feelings you had harbored for him in your own the past two years.  

You teared up at the sudden revelation, the tenderness with which he spoke, and the utterly gentle care you had received from him. And you just knew- this was it. This was it for the rest of your life. He smiled back at you just as brightly as you both were quiet in the reverence of such a moment shared between two souls.

The sudden bang of a door could be heard, not from the entry to the wing but from the Healer’s private office. It signaled that she had stepped out. Seonghwa tilted his head and then smirked mischievously at you before quickly climbing into the bed with you.

“Hey!” You laughed as you poked him in the side.

“Don’t act like this isn’t sooo comfortable for your poor healing-from-a-poison body right now.”

“Mm, I can’t deny that.” Now that you were not nauseous or dizzy or delirious anymore, your body felt like it had been hit by a truck. You sighed against his chest and his arms squeezed around you tighter, only this time you could properly enjoy it.

The silence was peaceful.

“Now, I know I’m in your bed, Y/N, but please try to keep your thoughts a little innocent for now. You’re sick, you know. When you feel better, we can revisit all those things you wanted me to do to you in a bed, ok?”

“Shut up!”

[new-revenant]

A so Called Tamaranean | Part Two

So, people seem to really like this little story I made, so I guess I’ll continue it! Part 1 if you haven’t read it yet or forgot something from it :) Also I am going to put both parts onto Ao3 in like, a day or two.

Edit : Ao3 Link! Also unsure if I’ll continue this because I don’t want to stress out over it. This was partly inspired by the “Grudge Match” ep from the JLU cartoon(go watch it it’s so good). Don’t ask what continuity this whole fic is set in, because I am making it up as I go. Warning for mentions of blood, I think there’s slight dehumanization, and mild elements of horror. There’s a fight scene. You know, regular superhero stuff.

Tag list since people wanted to be tagged(there are many of you ๑╹ω╹๑):

@spectralstardustandphantomnights - @skulld3mort-1fan - @ballzfrog - @toomanyfandoms11 - @blueflipflops - @everest-nightshade - @terzatheunderscorerima - @thegatorsgoose - @mnemovoid - @ace-aro-as-shit - @pikakaistudios - @phoenixcatch7 - @alice-hazelwood - @idfk-man20 (I can’t tag this person for some reason???) - @keimiwolf - @cankoking - @dxrksong - @learning-to-fly-on-my-own - @chaoticmistake - @ectoplasm024 - @akikkobara - @nerdypaintbrush - @worthlesswall - @stargirl1331 - @treepainting - @that-awkward-fae-nerd - @kawaiikenna - @raspberry-muffin

♥︎♡♥︎

“Alright kid, this is one of my safe houses,” Nightwing said, “We’re going to stay here for a while until I figure out what to do,” they muttered the last part. They both were in a small apartment in an abandoned building. It was stocked with some med kits and rations, with a mattress tucked into a corner. There was a single window that they used to get inside, facing another building.

“Small house,” Danny commented, trying to hide his smirk.

“Yeah it’s supposed to be small-now I need to call Starfire for the first time in a few months,” Nightwing groaned, “Man I’ve been busy.”

Danny sat on the mattress while Nightwing out a phone to call this “Starfire” person. Danny was sweating bullets, because surely she would notice that Danny is definitely not a Tamaranean. Maybe he should just come out and say what he really is…Nah.

He hasn’t even told his own parents that he’s actually…whatever he is, so he certainly isn’t going to be telling this stranger who he is. Maybe once he can find out how to get back home he’ll tell them. He’ll just have to keep his secret to himself, which shouldn’t be toohard. And Danny’s stuck in his ghost form now, for some reason. But that means that it’ll be easier to pretend to a Tamaranean! And he could just say he wasn’t raised wherever Tamaraneans were from, and was experimented on by the people who raised him. Not too bad of an idea from a C-student.

Danny was humming happily as he came up with his plan. He had to ignore what Nightwing was saying because he was pretty sure Tamaraneans weren’t supposed to know English. Honestly he was sure of nothing and probably should’ve eavesdropped on Nightwing. But once he thought of that idea, Nightwing finished their phone call.

“Okay Nightgale, Starfire’s going to be here soon, and you need to eat don’t you-of course you need to eat, what am I talking about?” Nightwing sighed, “Do you have any preferences? Like, sweet or sour foods since you probably don’t know any Earth foods.”

“I will eat anything and everything you give me,” Danny responded, “I have no preferences other than survival.”

“That’s…so sad oh my god. I wish I could give you like, a honey crisp apple or something other than granola bars and military rations.”

“Food is food I guess. Oh, do you have any water my throat’s kind of sore.”

“On it,” Nightwing went and grabbed a couple of granola bars and a bottle of water and nearly tossed it over to Danny before stopping and just handed it to him.

“Thank you,” Danny said as he smiled innocently, before wolfing down the granola bars and chugging down all of the water in less than a minute. Nightwing could only watch in horror as when they tried to make Danny slow down, he tried to bite them.

“So,” Danny made direct eye contact with Nightwing after he finished eating “What’s Starfire like?” He was oddly proud of himself for this rather simple question.

“Oh! Well, she’s the Princess of Tamaran and-“ Nightwing was stopped by a sudden knock at the door. They froze and swiftly went over to the door.

“It’s me! Starfire!” a muffled voice said from behind the door. Nightwing let out a visible but silent sigh of relief before they opened the door.

“Starfire, you got here quickly,” Nightwing commented.

“Of course! There’s a baby Tamaranean here who needs help! Plus, I was nearby already,” Starfire floated a few inches off the ground as she went inside the tiny apartment.  Nightwing pointed her over to where Danny was, and she gasped happily with a gleeful shine in her eyes. Danny tried his best to hide his grimace and prepare for whatever was going to happen.

“Hello! Hi there!” Starfire shot over to Danny-which he thankfully expected to happen this time-speaking Tamaranean. Starfire had long, red, fire-like hair, flickering at the ends like a flame. Her skin was an unnatural shade of a bronze-like orange-but it was probably very natural for Tamaraneans. She was also wearing this odd, purple jumpsuit-looking outfit. Not only were her irises were green, but her sclera had a green tint to it. Danny could swear that she was glowing slightly.

“Can you not do any sudden movements Princess?” Danny said, fully grimacing, “Or get too close.”

“Oh! Sorry young one,” Starfire backed a few away from Danny a smile plastered on her face, “What’s your name?”

“I assume that Nightwing already told you but I’m uh, Nightgale. It’s…nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too Nightgale! I’m Princess Starfire of Tameran, but you may just call me Star or Starfire.”

Starfire went over to Nightwing and spoke to them in English. Danny thought this would finally be a good time to eavesdrop.

“He doesn’t know any Earth languages right?” Starfire asked.

“Nope and he seems far too touch-adverse to do…that language acquisition thing,” Nightwing answered, sighing and rubbing their temples, “He’ll shoot anyone who so much as attempts to even reach out a hand to him-I should know, because that’s what happened to me.”

“Oh no! Are you okay?”

 “Yeah I just got shot in the face but it only hurt for a moment-actually, it hurt Nightgalemore, his powers seem…unstable.”

“Unstable?”

“His arm was in a lot of pain both times he shot a starbolt at me, so I’m pretty sure his powers are at least somewhat unstable. God how-what are we going to do-WHERE did he even come from?”

“He could’ve come from anywhere I think-but! I think we might need to get him some sort therapy for the touch-adversity. So it’s a good thing that it is just physical touch in general that makes it so we can learn other’s languages, so he could just poke someone and boom! He learns English!” -Starfire spun around a little bit- “I…also think we might need to get the Justice League involved.”

“Yeah, we probably do,” Nightwing leaned up against a wall, probably pondering about what to do next. Danny was also wondering about what to do next. He could probably just punch someone in the face and pass that off as a language-acquisition thing. He looked out the window and right at that moment, a green bird landed on the windowsill.

Danny made direct eye contact with the bird. Its eyes were the normal black void of sparrow’s eyes, but the entire bird was green. It wasn’t glowing so it probably wasn’t a ghost.

“Oh hey! So you’re that Tamaranean-“ the bird said, it spoke, and Danny blasted it on pure instinct, obviously. He screamed, it screamed, but it swiftly dodged and flew inside. Its body shifted and grew, turning into a human-a green skinned human with dark green hair, but human nonetheless.

“WOAH! Never seen a talking bird before?” The green person chuckled.

“Beast Boy, are you okay?” Starfire asked.

“Yeah, but that kid seems jumpy.”

“Of course he’s jumpy, he just fell from the sky not even an hour ago,” Nightwing sighed, “Also why are you here Garfield?”

“Oh, she texted the whole group chat about the little Tamaranean here, didn’t you see it?” Beast Boy-Garfield was probably their real name but Danny could only think about a certain orange cat-pointed over to Starfire.

“Kori why?” Nightwing groaned, “So do just the rest of the Titans know?”

“Yes it’s just the rest of Titans, I’m sorry I was just so excited!” Starfire apologized, “He’s a fellow Tamaranean with powers nonetheless!”

They continued to argue and Danny knew that this was his chance. He had to get out of here. He’ll come back obviously, but he really didn’t want to keep looking at people’s mouth to figure out if they were speaking English or not.

He stood up and placed his hand on the windowsill, looking back for a moment before jumping up and bolting out of of there.

He turned quickly, just barely scraping his arm against the other building. He focused on just going faster and faster, constantly taking wild turns and changing his altitude.

He kept going and going, ignoring everything else, and he felt like he was reaching his limit in no time at all. He shoot high into the sky, spotting docks nearby. Shooting back back down like a lightning bolt, he almost slammed into the ground nearby. He didn’t make a noise or dented the concrete, so it was a win in Danny’s book.

The docks seem unused and abandoned, but oddly enough the warehouses didn’t. There was one warehouse that was bigger than the others, and it had a clearly visible side door on it. Danny looked around both at the sky and the docks. The skies were clear, but he could definitely hear something coming from that big warehouse.

Danny looked at his hands. Yeah, there might be some criminals in here. If not? Well then he’ll just give some poor folks a handshake or something. Taking his gloves off and tying them onto his belt, he noticed his veins were glowing a bright green. Danny did not know if they always were like that, but it was probably for the best to not use his powers, which was completely fine as he could still throw a mean punch.

Walking up towards the door, he had to take a deep, deep breath. What was he doing? Why was he pretending? Why does he always have to be constantly lying? He could go back now, tell them all the truth before things get more and more out of hand.

‘But it’s too late,’ he kept repeating to himself. The same thing he had always repeated to himself whenever he thought about telling his own parents who-what he was.

He gripped the handle of the door, already able to hear fighting coming from the inside. It didn’t fully sound like normal humans fighting, but a bit like ghost fighting. Shooting, burning, the ground being ripped apart and crushed. People with superpowers exist in this world, Danny could see that much from what he’s noticed so far. He felt like he was definitely not ready to fight anyone who can punch as hard as Shulker per say, but he was already here. He had to do something.

Danny looked around for those heroes who helped him out. Seeing no one around, he took in another a deep breath, and opened that side door.

♦︎

Nightwing really did expect the kid to run off at some point. He just did not expect the kid to just be gone after he looked away for a single second. Just one second, he just wanted to talk with Kori and Garfield, but no, now he has to search for a glowing, physically andprobably mentally unstable Tamaranean child. If it was only as easy as it sounded because Nightgale was gone gone. Which meant that everyone was freaking out, obviously.

“Starfire! Do you see anything?” Nightwing called out from a rooftop nearby the safe house. Starfire was high in the sky so she could probably see a glowing person much more easily, and she shouted out ‘NO!’ which did wonders to Nightwing’s sprit.

“Beast Boy, how about you?” Beast Boy swooped down as an eagle and shook his head no. Nightwing sighed, “Well, we’ll need to split up then. Beast Boy you go west, I’ll go north, Starfire will go-“

“Nightwing,” Oracle’s voice had suddenly spoken from Nightwing’s earpiece, interrupting him. He put his hand on his earpiece to answer.

“What’s going on Oracle?” Nightwing responded instantly.

“An illegal meta fighting ring has been reported coming from the abandoned commercial docks in Blüdhaven. Do you think you can check up on it?”

“If I had a nickel for every time a meta fighting ring has happened here-yeah I’ll deal with it quickly.”

“Even with the Tamaranean child?” Batman’s voice interjected.

Nightwing’s face dropped. Of course Batman knows about Nightgale, he’s Batman. God damn it.

“Yep, even with them.”

“Their name?”

“They said their name was Nightgale. Now, I’ll get back to you later goodbye!” Nightwing took his hand away from the eyepiece and groaned.

“So we have to deal with a meta fighting ring as well?” Beast Boy asked, “Oh wait! What if the kid got caught up in the fighting ring?”

“Nightgale got caught up in a fighting ring?!” Starfire had come down and was very concerned.

“No-well,” Nightwing thought of how likely it was that Nightgale could actually get caught up in a fighting ring, “There could be a chance-“

“We have to go! Where is the fighting ring?” Starfire eyes were filled with determination.

“Yeah! Let’s save those metas AND that Tamaranean kid who’s name I can’t remember. Sorry,” Beast Boy nervously chuckled a bit during that last part.

“It’s Nightgale,” Nightwing repeated. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more strange it was that the kid’s name was Nightgale. It was pretty close to Nightwing, and there was also the problem of accidentally mixing the two names up. Maybe he should call them Gale, or Night Jr. Damnit, he was turning into Bruce wasn’t he?

Nightwing shook off that thought process, focusing on the matter at hand, “Now, let’s go to the docks!”

“Yeah!” The other two exclaimed. They all bolted towards the docks, towards Nightgale.

It didn’t take too long to get over to the docks, especially since Nightwing knew the way there by heart and the other two could fly. The trio still looked around for Nightgale on the way there, but had no luck with that. Nightwing really hoped that Nightgale wouldn’t be at the docks. He felt like there was a good chance that they would’ve gotten hurt, or worse.

Once the trio did get to docks, they saw the biggest warehouse had a giant hole in its side. People were running away from it, screaming and tripping over themselves.

As the heroes got over to them, they noticed just how scared the people acted. “P-please take us in, we’ll go to jail, just get us away from here!” One of them shouted. All of them were heavily bruised and bleeding lightly, large, but very shallow claw marks across either their chests. 

“So this the illegal meta fighting ring I’ve been hearing about,” Nightwing muttered, “Alright, I’ll cuff these guys real quick, get them to the hospital, and then we’ll-“

“Please get us away from here first! That-that monster in there will-“

“Oh! That might be Nightgale right?” Starfire asked.

“Yeah! They seem strong enough,” Beast Boy added.

“Let’s check it out. You criminals stay here or I’ll get that ‘monster’ to hunt you down.” The threat seemed to be very effective against them, which was very worrying, but right now Nightwing needed to focus at the situation at hand-someone dangerous was inside that warehouse with the metas, and that someone could very well be Nightgale.

As they rushed towards the hole, Starfire caught a criminal being thrown out of it. The criminal also had a large, shallow claw mark across their chest. She placed them down and told them to stay with the other criminals, and they ecstatically did as told. The trio were finally at the hole.

Nightwing now believed the criminals when they said there was a monster here.

He couldn’t focus on anything other than-that thing standing in the center of the warehouse. It was a shadow, fickle and dark, glowing green-bleeding green out of its hands and eyes. Eyes that stared right at him, right into his very soul.

It was pulsating with light, unsteady and bright, drawing Nightwing’s mind to nuclear waste. It’s body seemed to flicker in and out of existence as fast as a blink of an eye, small, almost invisible sparks of electricity jetting out of it.

Its hands looked sharp, fingernails indistinguishable from flesh. They were stained red, blood dripping towards the ground. Blood was splattered at its feet and the ground around it. But he couldn’t see any blood on the rest of it’s shadowy body.

This was it, this was how Nightwing was going to die. He couldn’t move couldn’t think about anything else other than the horrors that awaited him. It was all going to be over and he couldn’t even help that one kid-

“Nightgale!” Starfire exclaimed and flew inside. Suddenly, Nightwing was snapped out of his trance, and the monster disappeared, leaving a tired and trembling Nightgale behind.

Nightwing looked over at Beast Boy, and it was clear that he saw the same thing as Nightwing. Beast Boy looked at him for an answer, but all he could do was shrug slightly. Whatever affected him and Beast Boy didn’t affect Starfire, so he could easily pass this off as some Tamaranean thing, but something in the back of his mind said that he shouldn’t.

Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right about Nightgale.

But he’ll think about that more later. Right now, Nightgale and the metas needed help.

“Beast Boy, you look after the metas, I’ll deal with the rest of the criminals,” Nightwing said and then immediately sprang into action.

“R-right!” Beast Boy responded and followed suit.

Nightgale had taken care of most of the criminals involved, but the ringmaster, Roulette, had nearly escaped. 

“Roulette! I see that you haven’t changed at all,” Nightwing commented when he caught up to her. He could see that her left arm was bleeding, baring the same shallow claw marks as the other criminals had. “This is what, the second time you’ve set up a meta fighting ring in Blüdhaven? Why’s that?”

“I didn’t expect to get caught so quickly I’ll tell you that much,” she replied, “Much less did I expect to get caught by your son.”

“Okay, Nightgale isn’t my-“ Roulette took this opportunity to kick Nightwing square in the face. In retaliation, Nightwing grabbed her foot and flipped her over, and the fight commenced.

Back in the warehouse, Starfire was checking Nightgale for any injuries. And he had a lot of injuries. No cuts but a lot of bruises had formed already.

“We have to get you to the Watchtower right away-it’s basically the Justice League’s base and they’ll have everything we’ll need to fix you up okay?” Starfire told Nightgale. Only after she finished talking did she realize that she was speaking in English, so she readied herself for having to repeat that whole thing again.

“I’m okay,” Nightgale muttered, back in English.

Starfire gasped, “Did you learn English while punching all those criminals?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s why I took my gloves off, I’m sorry if I wasn’t-“

“No no! It’s okay, it great actually, because now you can communicate easier with everyone else! Good job Nightgale,” Starfire smiled at them and they shyly smiled back.

“Thank you,” Nightgale muttered, “Do we help those people now?”

“I got it!” Beast boy shouted. He had rounded up all the metas and there were a concerning amount of them.

“There’s at least 9 people here,” Nightgale commented, “Or more. I’m not good with counting.”

“That’s okay Nightgale,” Starfire lightly patted Nightgale’s shoulder, and they didn’t even flinch! Which was great, progress was being in one way or another. “Now, how about we check up on Nightwing hm?” Nightgale nodded, and Starfire quickly checked up on the metas before bringing Nightgale with her outside.

Nightwing and Roulette noticed the two immediately, and Roulette’s eye widened in horror.

“That kid-“ Roulette started, before becoming yet another person who got cut off by Nightgale shooting at them. She dodged but Nightwing was quick to knock her unconscious with his Escrima sticks. Nightwing cuffed her while Starfire helped out Nightgale, who was currently doubled over in pain.

“Are you okay Nightgale?” Starfire asked.

“I want and feel like death, but other than that I’m fine,” Nightgale groaned, “At least this blood isn’t mine.”

“Yeah you need to go get help right now,“ Nightwing commented, facing towards the warehouse, “First we just need to take care of metas, the criminals-this criminal, in particular, and then-“ Nightwing suddenly whipped his head around and faced Nightgale, “-did you just speak English???”

“Yeah I punched a bunch of people. No big deal. What’s that shadowy figure over there?” Nightgale pointed over towards their left, and Nightwing immediately knew who it was.

“If I look over and I see it’s Batman I will not be surprised,” Nightwing sighed. He turned around and did not see Batman, so clearly he needed to spin back around and there he was, Batman. 

“I’ve notified the League about the Tamaranean child,” Batman had began, quickly getting to the point, “You and Starfire can take him to the Watchtower with the Zeta-Tubes and preform a check-up before any questioning.”

“Doesn’t the Zeta-Tubes only work for registered members?” Starfire asked.

“And what about the bad guys?” Nightgale added. He was looking at Batman with a sense of awe, for some reason.

“Beast Boy and I will take care of it. I was able to collect a DNA sample from the initial crash site and registered Nightgale as a guest,” Everyone noticed how Nightgale very visibly flinched once Batman talked about collect a DNA sample.

Nightwing gently patted Nightgale’s shoulder, and they looked up at him with their tired, scared eyes. Nightwing gave them a little smile, “It’s going to be okay Nightgale.” But Nightgale’s expression stayed the same as the trio made their way towards the nearest Zeta-Tube.

It was going to be fine, Nightwing was sure of it. Yeah, something bad might happen because life, but Nightgale would be okay soon enough. But Nightwing could only think about what he saw before he entered the warehouse. Was Nightgale really a Tamaranean? Starfire wasn’t effected by whatever he and Beast Boy saw, and they were both human.

Nightgale wasn’t a human, that’s for sure. But what if was a human, a meta more likely. But then why did he fall from the sky? A portal could’ve opened-actually, a portal would’ve been the only way they could’ve came here, since they definitely don’t seem to have the energy to fly all the way to Earth from…wherever they were from.

So what was Nightgale? Who was Nightgale?

Nightwing didn’t know what was the truth yet, but it wouldn’t be long until he found out. He was sure of it. But for now, he just wanted to make sure Night Jr. was safe.

[thezombieprostitute]

Sparks fly - Part 2

Summary: After working as an engineer for Wilford & Gilliam Trust for several years you find evidence of seedy dealings and burned books. After turning in the evidence you find yourself in danger and seek help. You're taken into the protection of a mob family where you run into your high school best friend, Mace.

Word Count: ~1200

Warnings: Implied violence and attempted murder. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

After Huffman left you hugged Mace again, much tighter this time. You'd been hiding how scared and angry you were from Huffman but Mace was a familiar, trustworthy face. He hugged you back and you cried out your frustrations from the past week. Mace didn't say anything the entire time and you appreciated that.

When you felt a little better you gently pull yourself away and ask, "so how is this place different from the last three? Other than a familiar face. Why is this place deemed safer?"

"Because it's not an on-the-books safehouse," he starts. "That means any moles on the force won't know about it. And, because we know who to talk to and whose palms to grease, we can install security measures way more potent than the legitimate safehouses get away with."

"This... This isn't legal?" Your eyes widen as your voice lowers to a whisper, "Mace, what kind of people are you involved with?"

“Good people,” he assures. “People who look out for their communities first and foremost. People who take protection seriously.”

“Okay,” you nod. “I know it’s been a while, but I’ll trust you about the people.” You hesitate before asking, “can I see some of the security measures? For my own peace of mind?”

“Of course,” he confirmed. “Let’s start with the basics.” He takes you on a tour of the apartment, detailing all of the security measures. Bulletproof windows, motion sensors that turn on the lights when the front door is opened, even a solid steel headboard on the bed to protect from possible shots through the walls. It definitely felt safer than the last few places you were in. 

Mace was talking you through the setup when your stomach made an audible growl. Heat rushed to your face in mortification but Mace definitely heard it and asked when you had last eaten. 

“I…I think it was this morning? Maybe a granola bar?”

“Well that won’t do,” he says as he heads into the kitchen. “I wasn’t able to fully stock the place given the time, but I definitely got enough to cook us up some dinner.” 

“Since when can you cook,” you giggle. “Last time I saw you in a kitchen you were burning the instant ramen in the microwave!”

“I’ve changed a lot since high school,” he bantered. “I’ve picked up lots of skills since you last saw me.”

“Also a sense of style,” you tease. “I forgot to mention that I like the haircut. Buzzcut definitely suits you better than that mop you had back then.”

He laughs at that as he starts cooking. You’re so glad he agreed to stay. You haven’t felt this calm in days. Well, you haven’t felt this safe in days; you haven’t felt this relaxed in years. The two of you chat as he cooks up some grilled cheeses, making sure to cut yours diagonally. 

“You remembered,” you exclaim. 

“Kinda hard to forget your comfort foods when they’re also my comfort foods.”

“Yeah, but you don’t like yours cut diagonally, heathen.” 

He smiles, “it’s because you always made such a big deal about me not cutting my sandwiches that I remember.”

You eat the grilled cheese faster than you intend, finally realizing how hungry you are. You want to ask for another but he still hasn’t finished his so you wait. He sees you eyeing his sandwich, smiles, and heads back into the kitchen, cooking up another for you while eating his own. “Thanks AC,” you whisper. 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed about being hungry, DC,” he gently chides. 

“I know,” you concede. “I’ve gotten better about putting my needs first but…”

“It’s easy to fall back on old habits? Especially when you’ve been put through the wringer in terms of stress? Especially when you’ve been in survival mode for at least a week?”

You smile, “thank you for understanding.” He smiles as nods as he monitors his cooking. “Some days I really do miss having you to help me against bullies. Or other people who wanted me to do their homework for them. Having you around probably would’ve kept me from getting involved in all of this.”

“How so?”

“Helping everyone with their work let me see connections they couldn’t. I was able to pick up on a bunch of irregularities because I was doing second checking for other departments. Daryl from Chemical Engineering R&D needed me to take on some of his work so he could flirt with Jo from Accounting. Elaine from Bio-engineering asked me to help her with some equations so she could leave work early. Just, all these people from all of these different branches and that’s how I noticed things I probably shouldn’t have.”

“All because you wanted to be helpful, because you’re a good, nice person,” Mace comments as he hands you another sandwich, sliced diagonally. You nod your head as you start eating. “Might sound strange, but I’m glad.” You tilt your head in confusion. “I’m glad you’re still a good person. That you still want to be a good person. It can be incredibly tough to do.”

The moment is interrupted by Mace’s phone buzzing. He reads the text message and you can’t read the expression on his face.

“Backup has been found,” he tells you. “The guy’s methods are…a little off but he’s one of the best.”

“Will I be meeting him?”

“No, thankfully. GBH likes to keep as low a profile as he can while he’s working.”

“GBH?”

Mace sighs, “he…he calls himself God the Bounty Hunter.” Your eyes widen with shock. “I know, I know. Like I said, he’s weird but dammit if he isn’t great at protection. If they got someone that I didn’t think could keep you safe I’d argue for someone else.” His blue green eyes look deep into yours, “please trust me, DC?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you. Now, we should probably get you some sleep. The bed is yours. Feel free to keep on whatever lights you want or need to help you sleep. If you need a fan or a white noise machine, I can get that set up for you.”

“Where are you sleeping?”

“I’ll be pushing that living room chair in front of the door. Make sure no one can open it and no one can try to open it without alerting me.”

“Mace! There’s no way you’re sleeping like that!”

“I’ve slept in worse scenarios, DC. Besides, I personally test all the chairs and couches in the safehouses so I know damn well how comfortable it is.”

“But…”

“No arguments. You’re tired. You’ve had a very long and very dangerous week. We’ve got backup watching over this apartment and I know I’ll sleep easier knowing I’m between you and the door.” He gently pushes you towards the bedroom, “so please let yourself get some sleep. If you need me, I’ll be right here. Don’t be afraid to wake me up for anything, okay?”

“Thank you,” you hummed. “Thanks for always looking out for me.”

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

Tagging:

@rebekahdawkins

Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[steddie-there]

Another bit from my Steddie fix-it, Holding Out For a Hero. (ETA: new name - I'd Fall For You Twice)

(After one of them - probably Eddie - wakes up from a nightmare.)

"I don't know how you do it, man." Eddie's voice is muffled from where he has his face pressed to his knees.

"Do what?" Steve asks. He scoots a little further onto the bed, tucks Eddie closer to his side.

"Deal with it. With all that Upside Down shit. I mean, you've been fighting monsters since, what, '83? It's just been a few weeks for me and I'm scared as hell. I'm terrified he's gonna come back for me or Max, try to finish us off. Or that he'll try to take out one of the kids. Or Nancy or Rob or you," he whispers, his voice strained and halfway to a sob.

There's an almost imperceptible pause in the way Steve is running his hand comfortingly up and down Eddie's arm. But he doesn’t say anything and Eddie thinks maybe he doesn't want to get into all this feelings shit.

But then, "Me, too," Steve whispers back, almost inaudible. "I think I've been afraid ever since that night in the Byers house." 

Eddie peeks over his knees, tears clinging to the edges of his eyelashes, and side-eyes Steve. "You? Steve Harrington. Scared?"

Steve glances over and nods. Swallows. "Yeah. Me, Steve Harrington. Terrified. After that first time -" he sighs. "I just wanted to pretend it never happened. You can ask Nancy, it's why everything between her and me went to hell. But then it happened again. And again. And now it's happened again and I don't know if it's ever going to stop happening."

His breathing quickens with his rambling words, his arm tightening around Eddie's back. Moving one of his arms from where it's clasped tightly around his knees, Eddie lays his hand comfortingly over Steve's where it rests on his shoulder. Feels Steve tangle their fingers together and waits for his breathing to even out.

"Like I said - you've had all this shit for years. And yet, you just keep fighting. How do you do it?"

Steve tilts his head over to rest it against Eddie's. "I really don't know. I just - do. I mean, what'll happen if I don't? That hellhole will try to invade our world again and I won't be there to help stop it. So I guess I just…" He pauses, thinking, and Eddie waits, relaxes into the feel of Steve pressed close to his side, of their hands wrapped around each other.

"I guess I just do what I can," he continues. "I take the gremlins to the arcade and I drive Robin to school and I give Dustin stupid advice about girls and I make sure there's a box of granola bars in my car for when Max 'forgets' to eat breakfast and I always restock the first aid kit at work and I learn CPR just in case someone stops breathing the next time we have to fight. Because at least then, I'm being useful. At least then -" He stops, just closes his eyes and breathes for a moment, as if he can't quite bring himself to say the next words. "At least then, I'm not bullshit," he whispers and it sounds like a wound.

Eddie squeezes Steve's fingers, trying to soothe the bitter tone in his voice that he doesn't quite understand. "So… you take care of everyone else," he says and it isn't a question.

Steve huffs out a breath. "Yeah, I guess I do. It's about the only thing I can do."

Eddie is quiet for a long moment. He doesn’t agree with that, but that’s really a conversation for another day. "Who takes care of you?" he finally asks.

Steve blinks. "What?"

"You take care of everyone else. But who takes care of you?"

Now it's Steve's turn to be quiet. "I don't - I mean - I don’t need - “ Steve shakes his head, clears his throat. “Robin. I’ve got Robin, you know. To talk to. She’s great.”

Eddie smiles softly. “And thank god for Buckley. I’m glad she’s there for you - when you let her be.”

Steve looks away, but Eddie keeps pressing. “Have you told her you’re still spending every night in a hospital chair? That all you’ve been eating is those granola bars you keep in your car? That you haven’t heard from your parents since before spring break?” Steve shoots him a look and Eddie just raises his eyebrows. “I’m convalescent, not stupid. You think I haven’t noticed?”

He doesn’t get an answer.

“How can she take care of you, like, really take care of you, if you haven’t told her any of that?”

Steve sighs, rubs at his forehead. “Eddie, it's not anyone else's job to do that. To take care of me."

"And yet you've made it your job to take care of all of them - well, all of us, I should say." He squeezes Steve's hand again. "So how come you won’t let anyone take care of you?"

Steve sighs. "It's not - it's not like that. I can take care of myself, no one else needs to worry about me."

"Sleeping for nights on end in that back-breaking chair is what you call taking care of yourself?" Eddie says with a wry twist to his mouth.

Steve is quiet for so long, Eddie thinks he's not going to answer. But finally, "I don't want to be a bother," he answers softly.

"Steve Harrington, you are many things. But a bother is not one of them," Eddie declares. He can’t help but think how, if someone had told him even two months ago that he would one day be assuring King Steve that he is in no way, shape, or form an annoyance, he would have laughed in their face. But now? "Scooch in and get comfortable and let someone - let me - take care of you for once," he insists, trying to tug Steve to lay down next to him. "I'm not letting you fall asleep in that damn chair again, not when there's plenty of room right here. And tomorrow, you are getting a real breakfast before you go to work.”

Steve resists for a few moments. “Eddie, c’mon, you don’t have to - you need your rest, I’ll be fine.”

But then he makes the mistake of looking down and Eddie is peering up at him from under his lashes, big doe-eyes pleading, and Steve lets himself be pulled down. He shifts, careful of the spots on Eddie’s body he knows will sometimes flare with pain, but stays close, his arm still around the other boy’s shoulders.

Eddie settles closer, pulls the blanket up over both of them. Their eyes meet and Steve feels something stutter in his chest, has to close his eyes against that gaze that he knows now sees him far too clearly. He feels Eddie relax against him, feels his breathing slow, starts running his fingers through Eddie’s curls, trying to ease him back toward sleep.

Nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck, Eddie sighs out, “Maybe now we can both get some sleep, yeah, Stevie?”

Steve smiles tiredly. “Yeah, Eds.”

He feels one of Eddie’s hands gently tuck some hair behind his ear, stroke softly down to rest on his cheek. “Shhhhhhh,” Eddie whispers.

“Mmkay.” Steve mumbles, as the rhythm of Eddie’s breathing - safe and steady and oh-so-alive - finally lulls him to sleep.

[writer-darling]

Systems (Part 3 of the My Werewolf's Keeper Universe)

Part 1 | Part 2 

Rating: T (13+)

Pairing: Jack Russell (Werewolf by Night, 2022) x GN!Reader

Warnings: Allusions and mentions of blood. Mentions of food, eating. More-than-friends-but-not-a-couple trope. Mutual pining. Descriptions of fear and anxiety.  Mentions of monsters. Distrust among best friends, tension (both sexual and non), mentions of injuries (non-graphic), mentions of anxiety symptoms, hyperventilating, mutual pining, hurt/comfort dynamic, mentions of weaponry (tranquilizer gun). If there are any that I missed, please inbox me to let me know and I will add them in :)

Word Count: 3k

Summary!: Set directly after the events of “Once,”

******

Jack tries his hardest to make things between you two better, and you have to admire his tenacity. He’s doing everything to try and put you at ease, making himself available for anything you might need from him. Other than that, he acts relatively normal around you, but there’s a new sense of disconnection between you two. On your end, you know it’s distrust. He’s blocked you off, at least partially, your entire friendship. Truth omitting or just straight up lying, you don’t have enough information to label it correctly just yet. But still, it hurts. It hurts way more than you were expecting. 

Granted, he had good reason to block you off from that part of his life. I mean how does someone spring “by the way I’m a werewolf!” on a best friend like that? It could never be a natural tidbit of information, no way. But, you had always tried to show up for Jack. To allow him the freedom to be open with you and not have to worry about judgement, just as he had for you. So what was it then? Did he just not trust you? Was he truly so worried that you would have run off screaming for the hills if you knew about his true nature? Whatever it was, it made him nervous. Well, more nervous than normal.

Much like he is now. You’re in the kitchen, putting away the groceries you bought around noon. The morning had been spent with both of you exchanging simple “good mornings” and breakfast bagels, but there had been that underlying tension that now seemed to drench every interaction you two shared. He’d snuck the usual glances at you, but the way he watched you felt different. It felt like he was analyzing you, just waiting for the moment you run off. He’s still watching you now, his eyes remaining glued to your form as you go about putting the mini cucumbers in one of the produce crispers while he places the Frosted Flakes box next to the box of pancake mix in the pantry. Now that his ruse is up, he’s able to travel throughout the house freely without having to pretend to lock himself up in his room for 72 hours. So, you took up his offer to help you out with the groceries. You’re regretting it now, wishing you had time to think. Though it’s not like you haven’t spent all hours of the previous night thinking. Your head is practically bursting from all the overstimulation. 

As you move to grab the Greek yoghurt, he leans over you to open the spice cabinet, shakers of ground cinnamon, cloves, and black pepper in one of his hands. You tense immediately, pressing yourself into the counter just as you turn to face him, tub in your own hand. His body is extra-warm as it hurdles you in place. You drop your eyes from him. Usually this accidental-unaccidental forced proximity between you both would make warmth blossom in your chest. Usually. The hurt on his face is clear, his eyes looking at anywhere but you as he moves away quickly, a quiet “sorry,” making its way past his lips, putting the spices beside you before he moves all the way across the kitchen. You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine and say nothing in response, both of you finishing up with a renewed speed fueled by awkwardness and shame.

As soon as you’re done, Jack is out of the kitchen like a bat out of hell, taking a granola bar with him for lunch. You sigh when you realize he’s gone and get to work, finding something simple to make for dinner. You choose something filling after reconsidering for a moment, since you really don’t know when or even if he eats once he leaves during the night. How much should you make? How fast do werewolf metabolisms work anyway? He had an appetite, he always did, but how much did the wolf eat in comparison to Jack? All valuable questions that you put into the back of your mind for now, fully intent on asking Jack about them later. You decide to make beef stroganoff, with a side of potatoes and a fresh salad. It’ll keep him full for the night you hope. 

You let your mind wander as you cut and dice and cook and boil and bake for the next few hours. Your movements are on autopilot as your busy mind tries to think about anything but Jack and what he’s doing. Most likely preparing for his next transformation tonight. Your brain replays the events from last night - yet again. It’s been doing that on-and-off all day. This time around, it chooses to focus on the cage you saw before he decided to tackle you. The way it was absolutely bare, no bed, no comfort in it. Not even a blanket. It had been a clear place for punishment. The chains, the dirt floor, the damp and cold of it all. The deep claw marks. Your stomach twists uncomfortably at that last image. You shake your head, but your brain doesn’t let you rest. A sudden idea pops into your mind and you decide to act on it, heading to the linen closet before going outside as quietly as possible, not wanting Jack to hear.

When you’ve finished with that and are back in the kitchen a couple more hours later, you serve yourself a plate full of food before making your way upstairs quietly. Once in the room, you grab your laptop from your bedside table and power it on. You decide to browse around for some job listing in town, having set up your resume through one of those job search websites. No offers yet. You turn on the TV, finding a two-and-a-half hour movie to watch as you eat and continue applying to local listings. The food is just as filling as you’d hoped, and the creaminess of the stroganoff and starchiness of the potatoes quickly puts you into a food coma, your laptop still on your knees as the end credits of the movie roll.

The sunlight filtering through the window wakes you up in the morning. Your laptop is now beside you, having tipped over while you slept. It’s dead, so you connect it to the charger as you grab your phone from your nightstand. No calls or messages from Jack, but you get up anyway, knowing where he’ll be.

Before making your way outside, you grab the throw from the living room, and then a pair of his slippers that he keeps by the front door.

The sound of oldies from the 1940s makes its way across the lawn to your ears as you begin your trek towards the cellar. The doors are wide open, and you make your way down the steps slowly, cautiously. When your eyes adjust to the darkness, you spot him immediately, taking advantage of your idea from yesterday. The blanket covers him completely, and he’s sound asleep as you approach the cage. His face is open as he dreams, a soft snore slipping from between his lips. You notice though that even in his sleep, there’s that familiar furrow between his brows and his mouth is turned down in a slight frown. You watch him for a few minutes, not wanting to disrupt him from his sleep just yet. There’s mud caked under his fingernails, and his body (the parts of it you can see anyway) and face are covered in streaks of dirt and grime. His hair is a mess, leaves and twigs caught in the strands. You spot a bruise on his left shoulder, and then a deep scratch on his right calf.  The knuckles on both of his hands are swollen and purple. What the hell did he do last night? Before you have a chance to speculate, he startles awake. His eyes shoot open and he sits up, the blanket falling from his upper torso. His eyes dart wildly around the room as he begins to hyperventilate, his mouth agape as he breathes roughly. 

“Jack, Jack!” His eyes find you and you move closer. “It’s ok, you’re safe.” His features shift in confusion, his gaze hazy and unfocused. “Can I come in?” You ask. He nods, rubbing his eyes as his breathing slowly evens out. You cringe as the shrill creak of the door pierces through the relative calm of the cellar. He’s watching you again, his expression still holding fear. You move very slowly, shifting into a crouching position so you’re at eye level with him. “Are you ok?” He slowly shakes his head. He’s trembling. You grab the throw you brought from over your shoulder, placing it over his form. He curls it around his body. When you sit down on the floor, keeping a few feet of space between you, he quickly shuffles over and hugs you to him, curling his face into your neck. You don’t move, and he’s about to pull away, remembering. But you can tell he’s scared, his heartbeat fast against your chest and little huffs of panicked breaths ghosting over your pulse point. Slowly, you hug him, wrapping your arms around his body. At your touch, he holds onto you tighter, instantly melting into you and leaning his head on your shoulder.

“I’m ok. I’m just tired.” He mumbles into your jacket. You don’t believe him, but you don’t push it.

“Ok, do you want to go inside?” You ask. You feel him shake his head lightly.

“Let’s stay here for a few minutes.” So you do, sitting there with him. He smells like moss and dirt. But there’s also his scent underneath that, the cologne you always get him for his birthday that smells like musk and vevitier. Hints of citrus and leather. It’s so familiar, it makes your heart skip. You curl a hand into his hair. He lets out a long sigh, his breath warm but finally even against your skin as your free hand rubs up and down his back. 

Your mind begins to wander as your eyes scan the bleakness of the cellar. You realize then that if you didn’t know about his condition, then surely not many others do either. Jack was a solitary man by nature. Not unfriendly, but he kept a tight lid on his emotions around others. Now you know why. Still, you realize he must be much more lonely than you could have even imagined. Never letting anyone be too close. Never formulating a true connection. And that revelation breaks your heart. For you, of course, since you always considered him your most trusted friend. But for him as well. Did you truly know him? You liked to believe you did. But you still couldn’t be sure.

After a good 10 minutes, he pulls away, helping you stand. He keeps both blankets wrapped around him as you two walk back to the house after locking up the cellar.

“What did you do last night?” You ask him as you both walk across the dew-soaked lawn. 

“Had a job to do out in the woods: a fae got loose from our research facility and I had to track him down.” He says. He says it so nonchalantly that you have to laugh, shaking your head.

“What?” He asks, his expression light as he gazes at you.

“Nothing, just.. Man, I can’t believe all this.” You say, another sound - something between a chuckle and a scoff - coming out of your throat.

Inside the house, you are about to direct him to the bathroom.

“Why?” He asks.

“Well, you gotta shower first of all because you’re covered in dirt and muck.” He glances down at his covered body. “And second, I gotta clean up all those wounds on your-” You cut off as your eyes fall to his knuckles keeping the blankets close to his form. They’re red now, and barely swollen at all.

“Oh.” He says, calling you attention back to his face. “Don’t worry about my injuries; they heal on their own pretty well most of the time.” 

“Is that another wolf thing?” You ask.

“Yeah, fast healing.” He replies. You nod, pensively.

“Well, I guess that explains that time I swore I saw you break your ankle playing flag football with the Suarez boys but you were able to chase down Ms. Torres pig the next day.”  He goes red at the memory, nodding sheepishly.

“Yeah, I did break it that day, but it healed quickly. It was the day after my first transformation ended.” You nod, resuming your guiding. He smiles, following, and steps into the bathroom.

“Well, you still need to shower. Go, and I’ll get you some clean clothes from your room.” He stops you with a touch on your wrist. You turn back towards him and he drops his hand.

“I’m glad you know the truth now.” He says, his relief genuine. You smile after a moment, nodding.

“Me too.”

You place the clothing - a grey t-shirt, some navy flannel pjs, boxers, and a pair of socks - on the counter. You go outside, checking the mailbox at the end of the driveway. There’s a few letters all for Jack, and a fresh newspaper. You take your time walking back, and by the time you go inside Jack is in the kitchen dressed and cooking what seems to be french toast and breakfast sausage. He glances at you over his shoulder as you sit at the table, opening up the newspaper and laying the mail on the table. 

“I forgot to thank you for dinner yesterday. It was really good, thank you. And for the help this morning.”

“Yeah, of course. I wasn’t sure if it would be enough for you, but I figured there’s probably not a lot of places you can eat as a wolf. The help well, I just did what I thought would be best.” You respond, but your eyes remain glued to one of the front page headlines: 2 Dead in Forest Animal Attack. 

He calls your name and you call back with a “Yeah, what’s up?” As you look down at the newspaper in your hands, beginning to read the actual story.

“I have something for you.” The tone of his voice catches your attention. It’s quiet, and grave. You set the newspaper down on the table and turn to look at him, but your eyes immediately zero in on the gun in his hands. You hadn't even noticed it beside him on the kitchen counter, away from the hot stove, of course.

“A… hunting rifle? Gee, Jack you shouldn’t have.. You really shouldn’t have.” He knew you had an aversion to weapons.

“This isn’t a regular rifle. It’s a special gun I had made.” He reaches you and holds it out to you but you don’t grab it. 

“Don’t tell me there’s a round of silver bullets in here.” You say, only half joking. One corner of his mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk.

“No, it’s a tranquilizer gun. I want you to have it.” You meet his eyes, your hands almost reaching for it but you hesitate again. He nods in encouragement and you purse your lips for a second. You grab it but immediately set it on the table away from you. 

“Why are you giving me this again?” You ask him as you eye the body of the gun.

“I can be… unpredictable the morning after a full moon.” He explains, averting his eyes from you as he answers.

“Unpredictable?” You ask, quirking an eyebrow at him. He nods, returning his gaze to you and you can see that his eyes are dead serious.

“Sometimes I can recover in five minutes, other times it takes five days. It’s all still unpredictable. I’ve never hurt anyone. But, I don’t know where I am - who I am - until the adrenaline passes. And if you’re still willing to do this, this is my only condition.” 

“So… you want me to use this?” You ask, your voice already teetering on protest. He was your friend, there’s no way you could shoot him, even if he begged you. You didn’t have the heart to shoot anyone, let alone Jack.

“I want you,” he grabs your hand then and places it on the gun, closing your fingers around it with his own. You notice how his hand encompasses your own entirely, warm and firm around your grip. “to have a way to protect yourself.” Your eyes meet and you know there’s no negotiating this. He wants you safe, even if it has to be from him. Your gaze searches his, but there’s still no give in his intensity. Your eyes dart from him to the gun, then back again. “Please, it’ll give me some peace of mind.” After a beat, you nod, and his body visibly eases with relief.

“Ok.” He smiles, appreciative that you’re not fighting him on this too much, and drops his hand from yours as he turns back to the food at the stove. You’re left to contemplate this latest bit of information, turning the gun over in your hands. You finally take a closer look at it. It’s nothing fancy, looking like any old rifle to you with a rich brown butt, handguard, and pistol grip, while the rest of the body is a charcoal grey metal. There’s a scope attached to it, and in the chamber is not a bullet, but instead a small dart with a metal needle and a glass vial which contains a bright red liquid within it. Must be the tranquilizer.

“Are you hungry? I’ve got breakfast ready.” He says, changing the subject. You can’t help yourself as you grin, familiar playfulness returning.

“Mmm, like a wolf.” You reply, standing up and placing the gun back on the table.

*****

No, I’m still not out of love with Jack Rusell, shut up. 

Tag List: @pedrocentric @luz-introvertida @castleamc @moralesfish @klara-luise18 @supernaturalgirl89 @december-gal1 @pbeatriz @castleamcc @hillarymurray4 @supernaturalgirl @supernaturalgirl20​ @sherala007​ @littlemisspascal​ @practicalghost​ @donnaa​ @scorpio-marionette​ @kayleezra​ @amandanik23​ @maxpbxtch97 @lowlights @shadesofnerdlygrace @harriedandharassed @carefulnowprincess @amneris21 @horton-hears-a-honk @xdaddysprincessxx @trickstersp8 @mswarriorbabe80 (hope it’s ok that I’m tagging you all!)

Links!

Join the Tag List here

[lieslab]

Tw : Sh / cutting / toxic mother

Hello, how are you doing ? I already requested two fics on your account, one of them is “star lost” which I love so much ( star lost is one of my favorite skz song ).

Recently, I haven’t really been doing great. I’ve just spent time in my bed barely being able to eat and to take care of myself. I’ve relapsed after 4 months and one day of being clean after realizing that my mom is controlling me more than loving me. And my dad… he’s a story for another time. I feel like my situation is both special and sadly very common. Could you write something comforting with Seungmin ? I like his personality and I think is really underrated. Thank you for your hard work and your time, and I if it’s to triggering or you don’t want to write it, feel free to ignore this text. Thank you 💕

Hi, darling. I loved writing star lost!! It's one of my favorites and I'm glad I accidentally named it after your favorite song. I'm really sorry life is beating you down. It can be really rough out here sometimes.

That feeling you're describing of being stuck in bed, ugh, it's the worst thing in the entire world. I wouldn't wish that feeling upon my worst enemy. Self-harm can be really difficult and I know it sucks to relapse. When I used to struggle with self-harm, I remember how worthless I felt when I relapsed. Life is hard and sometimes that feels like the only thing that can help with the pain.

I'm really sorry your mom is like that. Being kept under the thumb of a controlling parent is rough. I don't know the situation and it seems complex. Please remember that you are allowed to be your own person. I know it seems difficult, but I hope you know how important your existence is.

Sometimes parents forget how important their children's mental health is. Sometimes they get too caught up in their own thoughts and feelings and sometimes they never cared much from the start. I really hope you have someone you can turn to and talk about it or have some sort of emotional release for it that isn't just self-harming.

Parental issues are rough when you just want love. You deserve to be loved for who you are. You're not a clone of a parent, you're not meant to be a puppet, you're meant to be you. Please try to eat something. I know it's difficult when you feel so miserable, but not eating makes the feeling of worthlessness worse. Even if it's a granola bar or a protein shake. Maybe it's washed fruit or even something smaller like a cheese stick. Don't forget to have a bit of water here and there too.

Sometimes when I'm down, I like to imagine that I'm a plant. It sounds pretty silly, but flowers cannot bloom without nutrients, water, and sunshine. I remind myself that it works the same way for humans. Our bodies struggle without them.

I don't mean actual sunshine (unless you prefer that) I mean the warmth and tenderness and care from the people we love. Even if it's our favorite k-pop idols or another celebrity. Sometimes it helps to watch videos to cheer ourselves up and use a bit of escapism to get through the day.

I'm sorry I'm responding to this like a day later than you submitted this. I saw it yesterday and the gears in my brain started to turn. I instantly pulled up a brand new Google doc and began to write off and on for a few hours. By the time I finished, it was so late.

Unfortunately, this is common and ugh. I wish I could give you the parents you deserve, darling. You deserve the best. I know how much it really sucks to have shitty parents. I'm twenty-one and there's still days I struggle with it. It's hard to go on when you feel like you missed out on so much. It's even harder when people you know have good parents.

As for Seungmin, he is underrated. I love his sharp wit and playfulness. He's a treasure and I love him. Since I have everything written and edited, give me a few minutes to create the post after I post this, and it should be up. I hope you enjoy it <3

[emmyrosee]

Random thoughts #34 (00:19)

This got so long oh my god- also, natural light is one of the cheap, frat-bro beers around here, I couldn’t not-

Kuroo has deep, deep dimples that only come out when he laughs really, really hard.

And I mean more than those cackles that he has. More than general amusement. More than inappropriate jokes at bad times that make so many people in your friend group cry and clutch their sides in agony for their laughter.

And you try everything- one of his friends from high school tells you that the space just below the hollows under his arms are the most ticklish spot on his body, you try shitty dad jokes that you’ve been passed down from your friends, you try videos of kids doing stupid things, anything that makes you cackle, you try with him.

But he doesn’t let you tickle him without a fight. Sometimes, he finishes the dad joke with a satisfied smirk. And on occasion, he just cracks a smile at the video and says “that’s awesome,” before turning back to his homework.

You start to think they’re a myth, he doesn’t have dimples at all, and you’re just left like an idiot trying to find this magical feature of his, and pray he doesn’t call you out on why you’re trying so hard to make him laugh.

But then, you order Chinese take out, and you’ve cracked the code.

It’s two in the morning, you’ve both been studying for far too long, and you beg for him to please order something for dinner that isn’t cheese curls and granola bars. You feel exhausted, and he reflects that in his appearance: he’s drunk on caffeine and shots of energy drinks. The bags under his eyes make him look infinitely older, his hair tousled and greasy at the lack of a shower. His brain is fried, but it’s finals, and he can rest after.

The only place that’s open is the shady Chinese food place on campus, it’s always open, yet somehow, you’ve never seen anyone inside of it and any point of the day- or night, for that matter. You settle, and he promises to treat you to something more exciting when you’re both recovered from finals.

And you’re both shoveling fried rice and vegetables into your mouths, eating like ferocious beasts who haven’t been fed in months (it’s only been days, but god, you could’ve been fooled), and there’s a few jokes and a couple of alcoholic drinks that he’s made you.

And he cracks open a Natural Light.

“Oh my god, don’t even tell me you bought that,” you snort, choking on a bite of beef and broccoli. He cocks his head in confusion, and you point, you actually point and laugh at him. “Where the hell did you find that in this neck of the woods!”

A shy smile quirks at the corner of his mouth, “I… heard it was popular on campuses, I thought I’d give it a try.”

“Kuroo, they make memes about that beer!” You cackle, willing yourself to swallow as you laugh. “You’re literally the embodiment of the frat guy they warned me about on those Instagram pages- oh my god, I’m gonna pee!”

“Jesus, fuck, stop laughing at me,” he snorts, moreso laughing at your reactions to him than your teases.

“Oh my god, how are you going to spend thousands on housing and take me to dinner every weekend, then buy Natty Light!” You continue, “What, you going to sue the professor if he fails me, too?”

“That’s what they call it? Ew!” He asks, his head tossing back against the couch.

And it’s not funny, it’s literally the stupidest joke you could have made, but you’re both so exhausted and burned out, your brains are so fried that you can do nothing but laugh at each other, cackling and wheezing when the other snorts, slamming his feet into the floor and tears of mirth clinging to your lashes.

And finally, when you look up, there they are.

Dimples, settled happily in the center of his cheeks and enhanced by the stretched grin that forces itself on his face. He must know they’re there, because he smacks a hand over his face to hide his cheeks and mouth, much to your dismay.

“Don’t you dare!” You scold, quickly crawling on his lap and moving the beer can from his hand. You’re grinning too, giggling less than before, but he looks so childish, so carefree from laughing so hard, you just want to relish in it more.

He’s shaking his head no, his hands covering his face and firmly too, as you try to pry his hands from him. He’s still laughing, he can’t stop, and if he could, they’d go away, but he can’t, he’s nervous and shy and you’re not helping, and you’re trying so hard to get them free-

You fall silent when you finally manage to move his hands away, two big wrists encircled by your smaller fingers. His gawfs settle to little giggles, his beet red face slowly settles to a dusting of his cheeks, and when he finally manages to look up at you, through his glassy eyes, his stomach flips to see you looking at him like that.

Like he’d sewn the stars in the sky, he could cure the sick and heal wounded puppies. Your hands cup his cheeks and stroke longingly at the newly shown dips of his face, gaze like love and adoration and like a perfect future with him never breaking with his golden irises.

Did you always do that?

Just as quick as they came, his dimples were stolen from your enjoyment, his face dropping at the predicament you two were in from the heat of the moment. You’re close, so close- Christ, you smelt good- and he’s scared to move, scared you’ll realize it too and get uncomfortable if he does.

“Uhm-“

“How dare you go around being so cute, and not let me indulge!” You scold, but you’re grinning and kissing the hollows where his dimples just were, eliciting more choked laughs and snickers from him. It tickles, and that doesn’t help his laughter, but he was more relieved to see you were far from deterred at the closeness- instead, you seemed to relish in it, and it made him weak and stupid and god, what did you do to him?

Large paws settle on your waist, and he stretches his smile back out widely in an attempt to make his dimples appear once again for you to enjoy for as long as you’d wished.

Yes. For your sake only. Of course.

[hotdoghotdiggidydog]

NEW BEGINNINGS pt.1

Part 2

A/N: Natasha’s journey through her time at S.H.I.E.L.D. See how she overcomes her past and creates bonds and friendships. This is going to be a series!

Warnings: Natasha/Maria Hill (not the main focus though). Language, talk about whipping, Sexual assault, Past abuse, Child breeding, Nightmares.

Summary: it’s Natasha’s first day at S.H.I.E.L.D. She’s positive she’s going to hate it, but doesn’t have much of a choice.

——————————————————————————

“Natasha Romanoff, I’ve been told I should give you a chance. Usually I’d say hell no, but Agent Barton is one of my top leaders, so I shall put some trust in his judgment.” Nick Fury walks Natasha down the busy halls of S.H.I.EL.D.

“His judgment is wrong. You’ll regret it.” Natasha has her cold gaze as she looks at what’s in front of her.

“I guess we’ll see if that’s true or not.” Fury opens the door to an office. When Natasha steps in, she’s met with a brunette behind a desk. Natasha refuses to let her think anything positive about the women in front of her.

“Hello Ms.Romanoff, I’m commander Hill. I know you didn’t choose to be here, but believe it or not, prisons don’t want to keep you. So, you’ll be staying here. Until you’ve earned our trust. You must have a team lead by you any time you are outside of your room.”

“This is bullshit. I don’t want to have anything to do with your little corporation. I’m not going to do your dirty work.” Natasha crosses her arms as she flares at Maria.

“Romanoff, we understand that these past couple of years haven’t been easy for you-” Natasha scoffs, “however, I will not be treated with disrespect. You have a week rest, get to know the place and the people in it.” Maria states calmly.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Fury asks from beside her.

“I don’t need a week off. I’ll be fine.”

“We’ll, it’s mandatory and I won’t take no for an answer. You are dismissed. Fury, can you escort her to her room please? I would have Barton do it but he’s in training till 4pm today.”

“Will do Hill. Cmon, kid.” Natasha and Fury make their way to the door.

Before they can exit, Natasha hears Maria say, “You can come to me whenever you need Romanoff. I hope your first week is better than you expect it to be.” Natasha doesn’t look back or respond, she simply walks out with Nick leading her to her room.

“So kid, have you eaten anything today?”

“I’ll be fine, and stop calling me kid.” Natasha rolls her eyes at the older man. Natasha has gone many days without food, she no longer can tell when she’s hungry.

“Well, I’ll bring some stuff up for you. It should keep you satisfied until dinner at 5.” Fury leads Natasha to her door, leaving her open it. He wants to respect her boundaries and leave her be, so, once Natasha is in her room, he heads down to the kitchen to gather some stuff he thinks Natasha might like.

Natasha sits in her room confused. He’s bringing me food AND I get to eat again at 5?! She’s never had more than one meal a day.

Natasha doesn’t know how long she stays in her head until there’s a knock on her door. She gets up and opens it and sees Fury holding a couple of things.

“Here you go. I’m not sure what you like, so I got you a couple of different things to try. Here’s some pop-tarts, orange juice, granola bars, and fruit snacks. I know they’re not that grand but-”

“Thank you.” Natasha says quietly. She takes the items from Fury and sets them on her bed.

“No problem kiddo. Tomorrow we’re going shopping for clothes for you. We leave at 7am for breakfast. I’ll come get you when it’s time.” Nick leaves without giving Natasha a chance to protest.

She lets out a sigh and makes her way to her bed. She looks down at all of the choices she has and settles on trying orange juice first. To say she likes it would be an understatement, along with the fruit snacks.

In the Red Room, none of their food had much flavor and usually lacked color. After she finishes two fruit snack bags and her orange juice, she sets aside the rest and gets changed into S.H.I.E.L.D attire that was given to her in the mean time.

She feels exhausted. Maybe she’ll let herself fall asleep for just a little while. She lays down for a couple minutes, feeling the cool air in the room and the soft comforter over her. Her pillow under her is the perfect amount of softness and she’s slowly coaxed to sleep.

“Natalia, you know what happens to girls that are bad. You know what to do.”

She drops her knees, pulls her arms up to the handles, and feels the stinging on her bear back immediately. The pain is so intense, her vision goes in and out every time the whip meets her skin.

She’s not sure what she did in order to end up in this position, but knows better than to ask questions. The last time she did, she ended up strapped to a medical bed with sedatives running through her body and different liquids being injected into her. She still doesn’t know what they exactly were, but she remembers them being surprised that she lived through it.

With every ounce of strength she had that day, she tried to get out of the restraints, “Please, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I won’t do it again.” In response, her hospital down is pulled up and her undergarments and ripped off of her. She was 8 the first time she was raped by workers of the Red Room.

“Natasha! Natasha, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare, you’re safe.” Natasha’s awoken with a startle when she hears Clint Barton’s voice. She can’t seem to catch her breath.

Clint slowly, makes his way closer to her, his hands out so that she can see them. “Breathe with me Natasha.” He slowly moves his hand to rest it in front of her, wanting her to initiate contact if she wanted.

After a couple minutes, her breathing is a little better but still not normal. She tentatively moves her hand to meet with Clint’s. Not ready for too much, she softly interlocks their pinkies.

He stays there until she fully calms down. They sit in comfortable silence for a while.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clint asks, whispering as to not scare the redhead next to him.

She just keeps her gaze on her lap and shakes her head.

“It’s 5:30pm, dinner should be waiting if you want to come.” Natasha ponders for a minute. Maybe she will go. Food doesn’t sound like a horrible idea, and she doesn’t think she can handle being in her room right now. She looks over to Clint and nods her head.

“Okay, let’s go. Hey look, we’re matching pjs. Oh and today’s spaghetti night! Do you like spaghetti?” He rambles as they walk the halls.

“I’ve never had it.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it.” They make it to the cafeteria and take a seat and one of the tables where their trays are already set up for them. Natasha is in awe at the amount that’s plated on her tray. She has a plate half filled with spaghetti, a side of green beans, and a piece garlic bread.

“I’m going to go get us something to drink. Anything you particularly like?” Clint asks, making his way off of his chair.

“Umm, I like orange juice.” She whispers. God, why is she acting like this?! She’s supposed to be strong! Why is she acting like some incapable child?!

Clint comes back with their drinks and sits back down next to Natasha.

“So, how has the fist day been so far?” Clint asks, he has some spaghetti sauce on his lips making Natasha roll her eyes with a small smile.

“Umm, not that great. I don’t really want to be here.” She waits a small moment than asks, “why didn’t you kill me?”

Clint’s eyebrows raise, not expecting that question. “Something about you told me you were worth saving. I know you have walls put up, I did too when i first got here. However, I think with enough time we’ll be best friends.”

“I don’t make friends. They become a distraction.” Natasha shrugs and looks down at her plate. She can’t bring herself to eat more. She’s too full.

“Sometimes distractions are just what we need. You can’t live a life where you simply just live. There’s no fun in that. You’re my friend Natasha. We’ll work our way up to becoming best friends.” Natasha takes a moment to think about what he said. Her whole life has been about simply surviving. She can’t remember once doing something she actually enjoyed besides training, which was forced.

“Oh and one more thing. Don’t be afraid to come talk to me. My room is to the left of yours in case you need me. I’m gonna go head to bed. Don’t tell commander I left you unsupervised. I trust you. Plus, you don’t need a babysitter. Goodnight, Tasha.” Clint gathers his tray and puts it away, heading upstairs.

Natasha stays in the cafeteria for a while, picking at her food. She’s full but she knows she has to finish her meal or else she’ll get punished. As she takes very small bites, she thinks about all the things Clint told her. She’s be lying if she said it didn’t feel a little nice to have someone consider her as a friend.

Her thoughts are interrupted by someone sitting next to her. She looks to her right and sees Maria. She gives Natasha a small smile. Natasha is nervous, thinking she’s going to get in trouble for being alone. “You know, you don’t have to finish all of your food.” Natasha is very confused at that.

“I don’t?”

“Of course not. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to here, unless it’s for your own safety. If you’re full you can put your tray away.”

“Okay.” Natasha gathers her things onto her tray and puts it away. Maria follows close behind.

As Natasha goes to walk towards her room, and Maria walks beside her. “I had signals coming from your room earlier before dinner saying you were in destress. Was it a nightmare?” Natasha feels panicked at the question. In the Red Room, if you admitted to having a nightmare, you were sent into a room for the next night where you were restrained to a bed while you slept. Their reasoning was to train them not to show any weaknesses.

She feels her heartbeat pick up and she’s scared to answer the question. “Hey, Natasha, look at me.” They stop right in from of her door. Natasha looks up to Maria, a hard gaze trying to conceal her fear. Maria sees right through her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay. Goodnight.” Natasha opens her door and closes it on Maria.

Maria sighs and rests her head on the redhead’s door. “I’m here if you want to talk. I get nightmares too. I know how much those suck. Look, we all care about you Natasha. I know it’s hard to grasp that, but we’re all here for you. Goodnight.” Maria walks away and goes to her room which happens to be down the hall, 5 doors down from Natasha’s.

Maria has an apartment outside of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, but usually opts to stay here instead.

Natasha sits against her door with silent tears running down her face. How could Maria just admit to having nightmares?! Does she not know how dangerous that is?

Natasha then starts to think about her words and how she said she cared for her. She’s never heard those words ever in her entire life. In a way she hates it. She doesn’t like that she’s becoming vulnerable. She’s only known these people for a day and she already feels different.

Deep down, Maria’s words sent a fluttering feeling into her stomach.

She sets an alarm for 6:30am to get ready for her time out with fury to go shopping.

When she finally lays down in her bed, she feels lighter in a way. Like a small amount of weight has been lifted from on top of her. She falls asleep easily, surrounded by the white noise of the air conditioning and the softness of her blanket.

“Natalia, you’re a failure. Get up and do it again. If you mess up one more time I’m sending you to Dreykov.” Her handler tells her.

Natasha gets back up and tries again. The weight she is expected to lift is 4x her body weight, purposefully impossible.

Sometimes the leaders got bored and gave the widows impossible tasks just to watch them fail.

Natasha falls again, her legs giving out. She’s grabbed from the floor by her hair and onto her legs. She feels a harsh slap on her cheek and she has to take a sharp breath in so that she doesn’t shed a tear.

Natasha was sent to Dreykov later that evening and had to perform routine body checks. She hated those. The humiliation that came with it was indescribable.

The body checks were exactly what they sounded like. She was stripped down to nothing and asked to stand in different positions so Dreykov could asses her body and the worthiness that came with it.

When you’re a widow, you were forced to go on missions where offering your body was a tactic and a necessity. She was only 11 when she went on her first mission that required that.

Natasha jumped awake with her hair stuck to her face do to her sweat and her breathing labored. She feels like she’s lost in a trance and can’t seem to get herself out of it.

Her mind replays scenarios and images over and over and she can’t do anything about it.

Out of her peripheral vision, she can see someone coming into her room. She can see the blurry figure sit in front of her trying to get her attention.

“Natasha. Cmon, look at me. It’s Maria. You’re okay. It was just a dream. You’re not there anymore.” Maria repeats these words. Natasha looks like she’s looking right though her instead of at her.

Softly and slowly, Maria extends her hands out and places only the tips of her fingers on top of Natasha’s.

She jumps at the contact but is immediately brought back to the present. She’s surprised when she sees Maria sitting in front of her.

“It’s okay. You’re not there anymore. You’re safe here.” Natasha’s breathing slows and finally turns back to normal.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Natasha frantically shakes her head and hides her face between her knees, her arms around them. “Im sorry, I didn’t mean to. Please don’t strap me to the bed.” She’s crying now, shaking as she’s scared of what she thinks is about to happen.

Maria furrows her eyebrows in confusion at her words. She moves on of her hands to softly run though Natasha’s hair. She flinches away harshly.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise.” She moves Natasha’s hair away from her face and tells her, “We don’t do that here. It’s completely normal to have nightmares. I’ve never met a person who hasn’t had at least one in their life. It’s okay to be scared Natasha. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel.”

Natasha is looking up at Maria with hopeful and surprised eyes. “Showing emotions make you weak. They make you vulnerable to threats.”

“No, showing emotions make you human. That’s what you are Natasha. Human. I’m gonna stay in here the rest of the night over there on the couch. Don’t be afraid to wake me up if you need to. I mean it. You’re not a burden.”

Natasha nods and reaches to hand Maria one of her extra blankets.

Before Maria gets off the bed, she gives Natasha’s hand a soft squeeze in reassurance. Natasha doesn’t flinch away.

Maria makes herself comfortable on the couch and waits for Natasha to fall back asleep. She never falls in a deep sleep, making sure to be attentive to Natasha’s breathing pattern.

Maria doesn’t know what it is, but she understands why Barton chose to give her a chance. Those eyes hold nothing but someone who wants out. Someone who needs a second chance at life.

[babymetaldoll]

I've been working out a little bit (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes.

Summary: Spencer has been working out with Penelope, and they are doing their best to keep it a secret. Until (Y/N) finds out and tries to help. And though he doesn't want to because he is embarrassed about his poor athletic performance, somehow she manages to help.  

Category: Fluff

Warnings: Curses, frustration. Good old fools in love.

Word count: 3.8K

A/N: Hello, pretty people! I've missed you! I hope you like this little story. It's one of the last requests pending on my list. Tomorrow I can finally visit my grandparents, I'll be taking care of them for at least two weeks, and though I know it's hard work, I am just so happy I can be with them again!! I miss them! Take care, whenever you are! Love you!

Masterlist

                                    𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

- "No fucking way, Spencer!" (Y/N) widened her eyes and laughed so hard tears filled her eyes. She was sitting at her desk at work, staring at her best friend, who could barely walk due to the two hours he had spent that morning training with Penelope.

- "Please, don't tell anyone."- he whispered and looked around the bullpen. He was too embarrassed already to let anyone else know he had to take the mandatory fit test. He wanted to avoid the jokes, especially Derek's.

- "Your secret is safe with me, as always, chipmunk"- (Y/N) smiled and bit her lips, trying not to laugh anymore- "But why on earth are you working out? You have enough case hours to cover a fit test!"

- "Apparently, I can't skip it this year. Both me and Penelope have to take it."- Spencer whispered and sat down very slowly, pain written all over his face.

His best friend stared at him reading the mix of embarrassment and physical pain he felt with each movement he made. (Y/N) smiled and opened one of her drawers, looking for the last Snicker she had hidden in case of need. Watching Spencer in pain was precisely the case. She stood up and handed him the candy, making his heart skip a beat. Spencer did his best to hide the blush on his cheeks and just looked away.

- "I can help you if you want."- (Y/N) whispered and cut him the most adorable smile she had.

- "Help me what?"

- "Working out."- she replied and bit her granola bar- "I can teach you how to kick ass, and I do look hot wearing sweat shorts."

Spencer nearly chook. He flushed and closed his eyes, trying to cover up his embarrassment. But (Y/N) giggled and turned around. Her job there was done. Now Spencer had to be picturing her in her sweat shorts.

Of course, he was. He couldn't stop, actually.

The two agents were the youngest of the team, and somehow sometimes in-between cases, it showed. Especially when they were on their own, and their conversations ended up in casual flirting.

(Y/N) was head over feet in love with Spencer, though she was never going to face it. God knows Penelope had tried to force her to deal with her feelings. But she was closed as an oyster. No matter how much Garcia insisted or how drunk they were, (Y/N) kept denying her true feelings in public.

Spencer wasn't indifferent. Not at all. As a matter of fact, he was in love with (Y/N). Everything about her bewitched him. Ever since the first time he laid eyes on her, he felt it. She was tailor-made for him. If only he weren't a nervous wreck each time he saw her...

After two years working together, Spencer had managed to overcome part of my shyness and awkwardness around (Y/N). They were best friends, and they would usually hang out in their free time. The little free time they had in the BAU. But even when they could playfully flirt all the time, Spencer was sure she didn't like him that way. He convinced himself she was just joking.

--

(Y/N) headed to the Batcave holding a large frappuccino and knocked on the half-opened door before walking in.

- "Penelope García, I had the feeling you were running caffeine low."

- "Oh my pretty little thing! How do you do it? You read my mind!"- the tech analyst nearly hyperventilated as soon as she held her ice and creamed coffee.

- "Reid and I were out for a little break, and I knew you would like one of these to cheer up your afternoon"- Garcia sipped her frappuccino and nodded. But as soon as she had finished savoring the perfect coffee, she asked.

- "So, you and Reid..."

- "We were out getting coffee, like the best friends we are."

- "But, there's coffee here in the kitchenette. There's no need to go out and get coffee unless you want to find an excuse to be alone with him."- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and sighed. Garcia did that every single chance she got.

- "You and I know the FBI doesn't share our concept of "good" coffee."- (Y/N) looked at her friend and just smiled- "Besides, I told you, I felt you needed some extra sugar and joy in your life after your early workout session this morning."

- "That little snitch!"- (Y/N) chuckled and shook her head.

- "Don't get mad at Reid. He didn't tell me anything. I kind of figured there was something wrong 'cos he looked in so much pain just breathing."

- "Oh man, he is sored, but I am sure he would be way sorer if you train with him."

- "I offered myself to help him"- Garcia raised an eyebrow at (Y/N) 's words, and the young agent wide opened her eyes, blushing- "Stop staring at me like I'm a perv! I meant helping him train for the test. I could help you too."

- "Thank you, but no, thank you. I trained with you, and there's no way we are going to do all that boxing again."

- "Come on! You said you had fun!"

- "I did! I really did... but I could barely move the next day! And I had a date! I couldn't even dance, less doing... other... nevermind"- Penelope stopped herself in her tracks and shook her head.

- "Shit, PG!"- (Y/N) closed her eyes and chuckled- "Spare me the details."

- "Sorry... anyway... you and the little genius should definitely train in a more... horizontal way."

- "Garcia! Stop it!"- (Y/N) laughed and stood up- "I'm gonna go back to work 'cos clearly you have some hormonal issues today, and you are projecting."

- "Stop acting like you haven't thought about it!"- Garcia said and chuckled as her friend walked away.

- "I'm not telling you anything."

- "That means yes!"

- "No! it doesn't!"- (Y/N) was blushing; that's why she refused to turn around and look at Penelope.

- "Oh! It so does!"

--

The end of that day found Spencer even more sore, hungry and weary than he had felt in years. All he wanted to do was go home, eat pizza leftovers from the night before, and go straight to bed.

Until...

- "Hey, chipmunk!"- (Y/N) looked at Spencer, gathering all his things and getting ready to go home.- "Dinner at my place tonight. My treat."

- "I can pick the take out tonight?"- he said immediately and asked himself where did that come from if, a second earlier, all he wanted to do was to go to bed. Probably from the same place that kept coming back to the image of her in sweat shorts.

- "Even better. I'll cook"- (Y/N) answered and winked, playfully- "You deserve a proper homemade dinner after all the workout you did this morning."

Spencer looked at her and didn't even notice the silly smile on his face. If he had known how in love he was looking, he would have probably slapped himself. (Y/N) sighed and stood up.

- "I'm gonna take that silence as a "Great (Y/N)! Thank you! How considered! I'm so lucky to have you in my life".

Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head.

- "Thank you, (Y/N). But I'll give you more praise if your food turns out to be eatable"- the young agent gasped, pretending to be insulted by his words, and hit Reid's arm with her knuckles.

- "Auch! (Y/N)!"

- "I'm being nice, and you are insulting me! I'm having second thoughts about driving you over!"

- "I can take the subway! You are such a slow driver I can actually be there faster."

Spencer stuck out his tongue at her and ran to the elevator, 'cos his friend widened her eyes and ran after him, probably to hit him again.

Morgan and Prentiss stared at the scene in silence, sharing a few looks, both of them thinking the exact same thing: "When are these two goofs ever going to hook up?"

- "They are annoying"- Rossi stood next to Emily's desk and crossed his arms on his chest.

- "They are in love"- she corrected, but David shook his head and sighed.

- "I know, and they are adorable, but it's so annoying staring at the same scene over and over again, waiting for something, anything, to happen between them."

- "Are you turning into a bitter old man who completely forgot about the charm of being young and in love?"- Prentiss raised an eyebrow and turned to Rossi. The Italian stared right into her eyes and shook his head.

- "I'm just saying someone should try to tell them something."

- "I've tried to talk to him about her a million times. But Reid is one private kid."- Derek said from his desk as the three of them stared at Spencer and (Y/N) getting into the elevator, still arguing and playfully playing.

- "And he is so insecure. He doesn't think she likes him."

- "Likes him? She is clearly in love with him!"- Prentiss said, annoyed- "I swear, if nothing happens between them this weekend, I'm going to intervene."

- "Now who is forgetting about the charm of being young and in love?"- Rossi joked and sighed- "Come on guys, dinner's on me."

--

(Y/N)' s dinner was a success. Spencer ate two portions of honey mustard-glazed chicken bake. She even managed to make him eat vegetables. And Spencer didn't even argue. Not only because it was delicious, and his body really needed some homemade dinner. But also 'cos (Y/N) got him wrapped around her fingers, even without knowing it. And if she asked him to eat veggies, Spencer (no matter how much he would argue) would eat his damn veggies. And he could actually enjoy them.

- "Ok, chipmunk, you ate all your food. You earned your dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and picked the dirty dishes from the table.

- "Let me do that. You already fed me. The least I can do is do the dishes."

Spencer followed her moves and took the dishes to the sink. (Y/N) didn't argue with that. It wasn't the first time Spencer cleaned the kitchen with her, after all. They had been good friends, close friends, for a long time, and they were used to being around each other.

But this time, it felt somehow different. Like there was something in the air warning them things were about to change for good.

- "Ok, doc. Do you wanna eat your dessert watching tv for a while?"- (Y/N) handed Spencer an ice cream bowl with chocolate chips on top and some whipped cream.

- "A smiley ice cream bowl?"- Spencer chuckled as he stared at it. He loved it.

- "Yes, you are never too old to eat food with a smile on it. And that's a life lesson, Spencer Walter Reid."- she said and walked to the couch, holding the remote control.

- "You are filled with wisdom, (Y/N)"- Reid teased her and sat by her side.

- "I know. It would help if you let me train you. You would pass your fit test in a blink."- she said and continued surfing channels.

- "Thanks, but no thanks. I wanna do it on my own."- Spencer glued his eyes on the screen and ate his dessert. (Y/N) just nodded and continued surfing channels.

- "Why?"- she asked him after a few minutes. They had been watching an old movie in silence, just eating their ice cream.

- "Why what?"- he whispered and looked at her just for a second. He didn't trust himself around (Y/N), especially under those circumstances: alone in her house. She had changed into leggings and an old extra-large sweatshirt. Her hair was in a messy bun. And Spencer didn't feel able to look at her into the eyes, 'cos he was going to cave in. He was going to grab her face with both hands and kiss her right there. No questions asked.

Which is why he avoided looking at her.

- "Why don't you want me to help you train?"

- "Just because"- he answered and glued his eyes to the screen. But (Y/N) knew better. She moved closer to him on the couch and held his hands. Spencer shivered right away at the sensation of her skin. It was so warm and soft. All he craved was some more of that. He wanted to feel her. Touch her. Taste her.

His head was going way too fast, and just because she held his hand.

- "Spencer, look at me"- she whispered and practically begged her friend to pay her attention- "I just wanna help. It's just a stupid fit test. It ain't hard."

- "For you."- he mumbled and looked down at his hand as her fingers played against his skin.

- "I didn't want you or anyone to help me 'cos I'm a fucking SSA who should be perfectly able to perform a simple fit test on his own. But no. I can't! And do you know what that means?"

- "That finally I know there's one thing you are not good at?"- she answered and smiled at him. Spencer raised his eyes and met hers. He knew his cheeks were all shades of pink, but for once, he just didn't care. He just wanted to look at her and see if she meant it. Or if she was just teasing him.

- "Right"- he snorted and shook his head.

- "I mean it, Spencer. You don't have to be good at everything."

- "It's a fit test. It's basic to be an agent. I need to be able to catch an unsub."- (Y/N) frowned and tried to understand where all that self-doubt and insecurity was coming from. To her eyes, Spencer had nothing to be ashamed of. To her, he was perfect in every single way.

- "You already catch unsubs, chipmunk. Everyday. You don't have to kick down doors to make a profile. And you don't have to run six miles to get the bad guy. Everything that you do every day at work is what an SSA is supposed to do. And you excel at it."

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at her best friend, trying to push aside the urge she felt to kiss him. His golden-brown eyes looked so big, like honey pools, she could stare for a lifetime. Spencer didn't know what to say. He really wasn't good with praises. He wasn't used to them. Not in that way.

- "Besides"- (Y/N) added after a few seconds of silence when she realized she might have said too much and started panicking.

- "It feels good to finally know there is one thing I am better than you at."

- "What are you talking about?"- Spencer answered right away, in the sassiest tone of voice.- "Just because I suck working out doesn't mean you are better. Even at my lowest, I'm still better than whatever you can do in a gym."

Reid was obviously joking. He knew (Y/N) could kick ass. Not only had she saved his life many times on the field, but also, he had seen her working out. And she could definitely kick his ass if she wanted to.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to tease her just because.

- "You take that back, Reid!"- she threatened him and

- "No"- he sentenced and crossed his arms on his chest

- "Last chance. Take it back, or you will pay for it."

- "Make me."

And that was it.

In a second, (Y/N) was on him tickling him, and trying to practice a chokehold on him. But Spencer was faster, and somehow, stronger than her. Maybe it was because he was struggling with himself. A part of him wanted her closer, and a part of him didn't want her too close, 'cos he knew his pants were going to start feeling too tight if she did.

Whatever the reason was, after two minutes of wrestling, Spencer had (Y/N) pinned down against the couch. And the way she panted against the fabric of the cushion wasn't helping him with his pants.

- "Spencer, it hurts"- she cried and tried to move from his grip, but he didn't let her go.

- "If you want me to release you, you have to say I am the best agent in this house."

- "Never!"- (Y/N) quickly answered and continued struggling.

- "Just say it, I've got you held, and I'm not going to let you free until you say it."- something in his tone of voice, it was teasing but also... sexy? (Y/N) knew Spencer wasn't trying to act that way, but it was working for her in a way she hadn't imagined. He would be so soft. And now, there he was, acting like a dominant man, holding her tight, not letting her move, literally pinned against the couch.

If only it were all happening in a different context.

- "Let me go, Spencer Reid!"- (Y/N) battled against his arms, but it was useless

- "Just say it"- he leaned in and whispered in her ear, and (Y/N) sword she could almost feel his smile as he spoke.

- "You are the best agent!! There, happy?"- she mumbled, making her best to sound annoyed and not turned on. Spencer released her, and she quickly sat down properly, rubbing her left wrist.

- "Did I hurt you?"- Spencer whispered and noticed how flustered she was. That was a first.

- "No. But I gotta tell you, you are stronger than I thought."- she said and stuck out her tongue to him, trying to be playful and innocent, though you could feel it in the air. That moment was anything but innocent.

- "Yeah, I've been working out a little bit."- Spencer answered and chuckled at his own words.

- "Well, you are going to have to learn how to control your new strength, 'cos this is going to leave a bruise"- (Y/N) whined and showed him her sore wrist. Spencer winced, ashamed he had been so hard on her without meaning any harm. He moved closer to her and held her wrist carefully. (Y/N) just looked at him as he kissed her wrist a few times.

That man couldn't be real. He was such a tease.

Did he know all the things he was, in fact, doing to her with that simple touch?

He surely had to know. Otherwise, there was no explanation, she thought.

- "Thanks"- (Y/N) whispered and fixed her eyes on his lips, still landing small kisses on her wrist.

That was when she stopped breathing. Spencer was literally breathtaking. He smiled at her, and she just couldn't help it anymore. (Y/N) leaned in and kissed him. It was a soft, short peck. But she had dared to do the unthinkable.

She kissed her best friend.

Spencer widened his eyes, shocked, and looked at her, not saying a word. They just stayed still for a good thirty seconds until Spencer finally made his move, cupping her jaw carefully with both hands and pulling her face against his.

The way she moaned into the kiss made him feel more in control than he had ever been before.

It was a soft kiss but intense. Spencer's lips rubbed carefully against her mouth, and his tongue moved carefully, making its way until he could taste her. (Y/N) moved closer to him until she was basically sitting on his lap, and his arms wrapped around her body, locking her against him.

They were in heaven.

Until it was over. Their phones buzzed at the same time, breaking the spell, ending the charm. (Y/N) jumped from Spencer's arms and grabbed her phone.

- "We've got a case"- she whispered and turned to him. He was agitated, his cheeks were red, his pants felt tight, and he was starving for more of those kisses.

- "Ok."- he replied but didn't move.

- "I'm gonna change, then we can go."- (Y/N) added, but he didn't say a word. To be fair, Spencer wasn't processing what was going on. He was still trying to elaborate a coherent thought. And most of all, he was fighting the boner in his pants that didn't let him stand up.

You could blame all the sugar in his body after the massive bowl of ice cream, or all the praising (Y/N) had given him, but Spencer found a new level of courage in that kiss. He decided it was time to stop overthinking it. It was time to act on his feelings.

- "(Y/N)"- Reid knocked on her bedroom door and heard her from the walking closet.

- "I'm almost ready. Did you talk with Garcia?"

- "No, but I don't wanna leave things like this. I wanted to talk about what just happened."

(Y/N) sighed and took a look at herself in the mirror. She could still feel her cheeks burning after that kiss, after feeling her best friend hard underneath her body, holding her against him. But she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what Reid was about to say. Most of all, because she was sure it was going to be something along the lines: "That kiss was a mistake, you are my friend. I don't wanna ruin this."

- "That kiss was..."- he mumbled and walked to her as soon as she showed up in the room, but words were hard to find when she looked at him that way.

- "Spencer, I..."- she tried to speak, but he just continued.

- "Would you like to..."

- "Pretend it didn't happen?"

- "Go out on a date with me?"- the two of them said at the same time and widened their eyes in shock.

- "What?"- (Y/N) questioned and stared at her best friend in shock- "You want to go out with me?"

- "You want to pretend it never happened?"- he asked her, scared he might have rushed to the wrong conclusions.

- "No, no, no, I don't... I can't pretend it didn't happen"- (Y/N) quickly answered and held Spencer's hand, afraid she might have ruined everything.

- "I was just scared you were going to reject me or..."- (Y/N) bt her lips and dared to look at him- "I wanna go out on a date with you"- she whispered and watched his whole face change as a big silly grin drawn on his lips.

- "Really?"- he murmured, still not sure it was actually happening. He asked her out. She said yes. He was sure that was never going to happen in real life.

- "Really"- she assured him and leaned in slowly to kiss him one more time. But her phone rang again, and so did his. This time it was a message from Hotch. Wheels up as soon as they reached the FBI.

- "But after we catch the bad guy."- (Y/N) added, and Spencer chuckled.

- "Sounds like a plan."

Spencer Reid’s taglist: 

@calm-and-doctor @all-tings-diego

Requested by @shilohpug​ 

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 17

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Peter, grasping for straws to remain 'The Prank Master,' thinks he's found a way to annoy you into conceding. Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to him, what he's found is something much worse.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Content Warning for descriptions/mentions of PTSD and flashbacks. Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 34 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 6,761

Red covered your mouth and nose, all over your hand, and a bit on your sheets. You blearily tried to gather your senses, tried to open your eyes against the unforgiving light that blinded you.

Peter stood over you, laughing. Telling you that you got what was coming to you as you groaned.

That fecker had put ketchup in your hand while you slept and then tickled your nose with one of the fuzzy-tipped novelty pens on your desk. The dickhead.

"Ugh! Gross! Dude!?" you complain, sitting up and reaching over to grab the tissues off your desk so you could clean yourself up.

"Serves you right for what you did to me!" Peter countered, gesturing to the blue staining his body. He began to walk out of your room, making sure to let you know that you shouldn't expect the two of you were even.

You roll your eyes and continue wiping the ketchup-y mess off of you. You glance down at your sheets and realized you'd need to wash them today too. Great. Guess this is what you got for sleeping-in.

Once you had finally cleaned yourself up you gathered your sheets to take them downstairs to wash them, but not before making a pit-stop to Peter's room. Wanting to make the trip quick you grabbed the first thing you could find- his comb- and pocketed it. It was about to have a date with some jelly.

As you turned to leave his room you saw Rocket standing in the hall just outside the door.

With a knowing grin he asked, "Whatcha doin' there?"

"Nothing," you answer flatly, gathering your sheets back up.

He let you pass but said, "So I guess I didn't just see you steal Quill's comb, then?" There was amusement in his voice.

"He'll get it back," you answer, not pausing in your walk towards the stairs.

"What do you plan on doing to it?" he asked, intrigued. He had no intents to squeal on you. This prank-y-ness was a side of you he had been pleasantly surprised to see. Much better the the stiff agent-type you usually liked to display. Had he maybe misjudged you?

"The less you know the better," you answered, continuing down the stairs.

No witnesses. Rocket liked your style. Maybe you didn't have such a stick up your butt after all.

***

You threw your sheets in the washer and put the kettle on. It was time to make some jelly.

While waiting for the kettle you grabbed the packet of jelly from the pantry and something quick for breakfast. Deciding on a granola bar, you go to pull one from the box when you also notice that all your spices had been flipped upside down. Obviously Peter's doing. That's also when you remember that you had hidden the rest of the food dye behind the spices, prompting you to give a quick peek to see that the box was still there.

It wasn't.

Peter must have found it while setting up his prank and took them, intent on making the two of you "even."

Crap.

The kettle began to whistle and you pulled yourself out of your thoughts of doom to start fixing the jelly. You could think about the dye later. Right now you had mischief to make.

You mix up the jelly in a glass bowl, adding in an extra packet of gelatin to make sure the shape would hold later. Then, looking around to make sure no one was around, you take Peter's comb out of your pocket and drop it in. The bowl was just big enough for the comb to catch on the sides roughly about halfway deep in the jelly water, so that when you turned it out it would be nicely suspended in the green jelly. You then quickly take the bowl to the fridge to set, burying it in the back on the bottom shelf so it hopefully wouldn't be seen.

Then you simply went about your day as normal.

***

Other than several bad puns, Peter surprisingly didn't attempt much to annoy you that day, and you had no doubts that it was because he was confident that he'd be able to return the favor in dyeing you an odd color when you showered tonight.

Not if you had anything to say about it.

Too bad for him he had no way to know that you knew, and you were confident that you could deal with it when that time came if you paid enough attention. For now you were just going to act none-the-wiser, and accept his invitation to watch a show with the others.

You settled in on the couch and the episode starts. It's a title you haven't heard of before.

Watching it you gathered it was a type of mystery/detective/thriller type that was somehow also a comedy. A detective was accused of killing this old lady, and he was on the run to try and prove his innocence. Lots of action, a bunch of red-herrings, overall not a bad show so far if you had to judge by this episode.

Then there was the end-scene.

The detective finally found the actual murderer, the mayor, and after tricking him into broadcasting his confession over the radio in this abandoned radio station- where he somehow had managed to make a broadcast work- the two fight. Only the mayor has a gun, and the detective's fell into a storm drain two scenes ago.

Through his cunning the detective manages to escape alive, but not unharmed. He's got a compound fracture to his leg. Cops are on the scene and arresting the mayor after surrounding him at gunpoint, and ambulances can be heard in the background.

You feel the hair on your arms stand up.

The sound of the sirens just keeps getting louder.

You swallow, your throat suddenly dry.

They get louder. You look away from the screen into your lap.

All you can hear now is sirens. You don't realize they've already stopped on the screen. There's now instead dialogue, a conversation between characters, but you are unaware of it.

Your hands clench into fists, nails digging into your palms. You fight the images in your head. You don't want to see them. You hear sounds of tearing metal. Sirens. Screaming. Beeping. Your breathing gets shallow and you work to keep it quiet. You had to fight it back. Sirens. Bright lights. Glass shattering. Screaming. Sirens. You keep saying to yourself inside your mind that it's ok. You're ok. But what about-

Kraglin makes a comment to Yondu about something said on screen. You don't hear him. You only hear the sirens. God, why won't they stop? Screeching. Sirens. Blinding lights. Sirens.

Yondu turns to reply to Kraglin, but sees you looking strange. He raises an eyebrow, which Kraglin notices. He follows Yondu's gaze and sees you staring into your lap, body rigid, hands balled tightly into fists. Your eyes are wide, but unseeing. Your jaw is set.

Before either of them can say a word the buzzer on the washer goes off and you seem to jolt out of it, quickly hopping up and making your way out of the room.

Yondu and Kraglin share a look. What was that about?

***

You didn't return for another episode. Instead, you decided it was a nice enough day to hang your washing on the line. It hardly took you any time at all to finish, but you decide to stay outside for a bit anyways. Fresh air and all that.

Everything was fine. You were ok.

When you finally come back in it's well after a suitable lunchtime, and realizing that the only thing you had today was a granola bar, you decide to cut up an apple and sit at the table, scrolling on your phone as you eat.

Yondu comes into the kitchen for a drink and joins you at the table. "Where'd you go runnin' off to?" he asks, "Decide you didn't like the show?" What he really wanted to ask was what had prompted that look in your eyes earlier, but he knew better than to just come out an ask. You'd just deny anything had happened.

"Had laundry to dry," you answer, not looking up from your phone.

"Ya were gone an awful long time for laundry." Yondu said, not missing that you completely ignored his question about the show. But the question still bugged him. He recognized the look in your eyes back then. He remembered sometimes catching it in the eyes of some of the older battle slaves in the barracks when he was younger. It was the look one had when they were flashing back to something horrific they had been through. He and the other younger battle slaves were always told by other elders to leave those be when they were "stuck in it", as they would say. Don't disturb them. They'll come out of it. Nothing for it but to let it pass.

That never did sit right with him.

"It's a nice day. Thought I'd enjoy it," you answered.

Yondu hummed shortly. You weren't giving him anything, and he knew you wouldn't.

He decided not to press it for now, but he could tell something had triggered that response from you, he just didn't know what. He suspected it had something to do with whatever it was that you kept locked away inside. He had clues and suspicions as to what, but of course he couldn't be sure, though he was more determined now than he had previously been to figure you out. Only one thing was certain. You had pain inside you. A lot of it. No one should have to go through that alone.

***

Kraglin, unlike Yondu, wasn't nearly as subtle when he saw you next. However, he wouldn't get any further.

"Mind if I help?" he asked, joining you in the garden where you were pulling a few weeds.

"Go for it," you reply, barely looking up. There weren't many to pull, as it was starting to get cooler lately. You mostly just came out for something to do. Soon it'd be time to harvest the whole garden.

The two of you work in silence for a bit. Then, Kraglin asks, "So, um, was you alright earlier? I mean, saw that ya looked mighty shaken when we was watching that show."

"Don't know what you're talking about," you answer, standing up and tossing the weeds you picked over to the compost bucket.

Kraglin looked up to meet your gaze, frowning. He was about to say something along the lines that you were full of shit, but he stopped himself when he saw your stern expression. You weren't just denying it. With just those few words, combined with the subtly hard look on your face, you were outright telling him that he didn't see whatever it was that he thought he saw.

He exhaled out his nose and just gave you a look that said that he didn't believe you, but he wouldn't push it. He could see that you would just shut him out, and he felt like it wasn't his place to press it.

Suddenly a gunshot rang out, breaking the awkward silence and causing you both to jump.

You sigh, not appreciating the jolt, and said, "Damn hunters."

Kraglin nodded and tried to take this distraction as an opportunity to change the subject. If you wouldn't open up, maybe he could try and make you smile instead. "So... nice job on dyeing Pete blue last night. Real funny."

"I certainly thought so," you said.

He almost thought he saw you crack a smile. Wanting to bring about a full grin he decided to tell a story. "Yeah, it was just like this time Pete rigged a dye pack up in one of Yondu's drawers, I think he mentioned it last night. Anyway, so somehow Pete rigs it up, I think he got mad at Cap'n for making him scrub the grease traps or somethin', but anyway then Yondu goes to open his drawer one mornin,' yeah? And he's blasted in the face with this red dye. Ohhh boy! He was madder than a muzzled Flerken!!"

The mental image was enough to make your lips curl up involuntarily.

Kraglin noted this and continued, "What's worse is he had to meet with some lady client the next day about a job, and he couldn't get it off. He was this funny shade of purple for over a week!"

A short laugh suddenly breaks through your throat and you look at him. "Really?" you ask, mirth in your eyes. The mental image of the blue man looking quite cross and splattered purple while trying to commit space pirate business dealings was a humorous one.

"Yeah. He grounded Pete for so long after that." Kraglin replied, chuckling.

"I'll bet," you say as you stand up and brush yourself off, now finished with weeding and prepared to go inside. "Thanks. For helping in the garden, I mean." you say.

Kraglin also stands. "Not a problem, ma'am."

You wince and shake you head as you turn back to the house. You thought of telling him to knock it off with the 'ma'am' stuff, but you were concerned with what might replace it. So you left it alone for now.

***

You were on alert when you got ready for your shower that evening. You knew Peter had plenty of opportunity to have tampered with your bath products, but you played it cool. Acted unaware.

The plan? Beat him at his own game.

First you turned on the shower and let it run. You cupped your hands beneath the stream to make sure the water wasn't an odd color.

All clear.

You get into the shower, deciding to inspect your shampoo and conditioner bottles first. You felt it was unlikely he'd put it in those, as it would be unlikely to have a decent enough payoff for him, but you still checked just in case. Your shampoo bottle was see-through and the liquid inside clear, so it was obvious it had gone untampered. You went ahead and used it.

Time for conditioner. Unscrewing the top you look inside the conditioner. Completely white. Untampered. Good.

Finally you checked your body wash. It was a rose scented type and was already colored pink. If he was was going to strike anywhere, it would likely be there with the red dye. You squirted a little into a rag to test it on your hip, an inconspicuous area. You didn't even need to use it before you realized you were right. The body wash came out much darker than usual. It was like he hadn't even mixed it. Actually, that's likely exactly what he did. He probably wanted to make sure as much dye got on you as possible and so just squirted it right on top. Just out of curiosity, however, you still tested it.

Yep. It left a red steak right on your hip. You catch a glance at Peter's bottle on the shower shelf, and grin.

Silly Peter. He shouldn't have forgotten his bottle in the shower. Again.

You reach out of the shower for a new washcloth, and use some of his body wash instead. Of course, not before testing it on the first rag to make sure it wasn't left behind on purpose as a trap. It wasn't. The test proved it free of dye and safe to use.

For now.

Once you finished washing you then unscrewed the top off of Peter's bottle and carefully poured in as much of the dye from the top of your tampered bottle as you could without getting it on your hands. You had to sacrifice a little of the soap down the drain just to make sure it would come out clean the next time you used it.

Was he sure to notice? Probably, but you didn't care. You'd be just as happy with the message it would deliver if nothing else.

He was going to see that you were the Prank Master here.

***

Once finished with your shower you retreated to your bedroom. On the way you could hear Peter in his room asking Gamora if she had seen his comb, and you grinned. You sure knew where his comb was.

Mantis is gathering her own stuff together to take a shower when you enter the room. You glance at what she's carrying to make sure she has enough soap. God forbid she might run out and then use Peter's instead of yours. You actually would feel bad if the prank accidentally hit her instead of Peter. Satisfied that she does you shut your door behind her and wait, unable to keep a grin from splitting your face.

Perhaps half an hour later, a good bit after Mantis had returned from her shower, you can hear Peter shouting.

"Are you KIDDING me!?"

Mantis looks towards the sound in shock before turning to see you covering your giggles with your hand.

Now you can hear Peter cursing your name.

"What did you do?" Mantis asks, both intrigued and alarmed.

"He tried to get me back for turning him blue by putting red dye in my soap. I found out and turned it back on him," you answered, nearly stuttering over your giggles.

"How?"

"I just poured the tainted soap into his bottle. Now he'll have been dyed twice." You grinned, but it fell shortly when you heard the bathroom door slam open and heard his footsteps coming in the direction of your room. You jumped up and quickly flicked the lock just before he reached the door.

The knob jiggled and then he started to pound on the door, cursing your name and demanding you come out.

Feeling cheeky, you answered, "Nobody's home!"

From the other side Peter said loudly, "Come out here, you coward!"

"Do you need something?" you ask, your grin wide.

"You. Out here. Now."

"Whatever for?" You're have a real hard time biting back your laughter. Mantis is sitting on her bed, hugging her bear and openly giggling.

"You know exactly what for!"

You look to Mantis. "Should I?" you chuckle.

"YES! You should!" answered Peter from the other side of the door.

"Didn't ask you!" you retort. You look back to Mantis and she nods excitedly. She wanted to see what had happened to Peter.

"Alright," you answer, loud enough for Peter to hear as well. You unlock the door and slowly open it.

You tried to hold it in. Honestly, you did. But the sight of Peter standing there in his pajama bottoms, and now purple where he had previously been blue, and a pinkish-red just about everywhere else you could see, you lost it.

Your laughter, combined with seeing that you didn't have a spec of dye on you, made Peter cry out in frustration. "HOW?!"

"It-It's your fault," you laughed. "You left a trail!"

Peter narrowed his eyes. "I did not leave a trail!"

"You did! I-I saw you had taken the rest of the dye and I knew what you'd do with it. Dude, you- you really should have left the box behind. I might not have noticed then." It was all you could do to say the sentence coherently as you tried to hold back your giggles. "How did you not notice I turned it around and poured it back in your bottle? Don't you look??"

As Peter sputtered indignantly for a reply you noticed that you again had an audience. Yondu and Kraglin stood at the bottom of the stairs, grinning up at the scene and shaking their heads. Rocket and Drax were standing by their room, Drax chuckling with a giggling Groot on his shoulder and Rocket almost looking impressed. Almost. Gamora was standing across the landing, shaking her head, though it appeared more out of second-hand embarrassment for Peter rather than disdain for you.

"Don't I- You- I'm- UGH!" Peter sputtered in frustration. He had half a mind to tickle you until you peed your pants for this- Well, not literally, though he wouldn't be above threatening it. He may be an asshole, but he wasn't 100% a dick. Regardless, the other half of his brain was too busy trying to think of any suitable comeback... and failing. He was The Prank Master! How were you beating him at his game? He glared at you. He wanted to wipe that smirk off your face. "You think you're so funny, don't you?! Just wait. You better watch your back. I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."

"You're not going to do anything, Peter." It was Gamora who spoke now, her tone teetering somewhere between warning and exhaustion, with a hint of amusement buried somewhere in there. "She beat you at your own game. Go to bed."

You couldn't stop the grin that split your face if your life depended on it. You took a calculated step back, hand resting on your door. You put on your most innocent voice. "So..." you started. "Does this mean I'm The Prank Master, now?"

The look in Peter's eyes could have vaporized you. "That's it!" he cried, stepping towards you. He wasn't sure what he'd do when he got hold of you. Hold you in a headlock until you apologized? Wet Willie? Both? Neither? Didn't matter. All he knew was you were going to pay for this.

However, he'd never get the chance. You were too fast, slamming the door in his face and flicking the lock just before he could get near.

You and Mantis doubled over laughing and Peter sputtered some more empty threats before Gamora could be heard scolding him and telling him to go to bed.

It was even better the second time.

***

The next morning you were, dare you say, cheerful.

Peter, less so. He was still a bit cranky that not only had he been the victim of the dye prank twice, just one night after the first, but that it had happened because he tried to get you back and you turned the tables on him. Sure, he had cooled down a bit from last night, but he was still an uneven purple/pinkish-red mess and the others kept snickering at him. Even Gamora had been caught hiding a grin behind her hand a couple of times.

It wasn't fair. He was determined to get you back, but how would-

He spotted something on the kitchen table, interrupting his thoughts. Something shiny, and green, and was that...?

Oh you were going to get it.

***

You were minding your own business, walking over to one of the bookcases in the sitting room, when suddenly you were accosted.

Peter had pulled you into a headlock from behind.

"Hey! What the hell! Let me go!" you demanded.

"Tell me you're sorry and I'll think about it!"

You had a feeling what this was about, but you played dumb. "I'm not going to apologize for turning the tables back around on you! It was your own fault for trying."

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

You started softly laughing despite the moderate chokehold. You couldn't help it. "Did you- Did you ever find your comb?"

Suddenly you feel something wet in your ear. You knew there was only one thing it could be. "Ew! No! Peter!" you squeal, trying to squirm away. "That's disgusting! Stop it!"

Peter was chuckling now, still giving you a wet willie. "Say you're sorry!"

You jerk against him. "Never!" You were laughing despite really only having one hand to fight him with. The limited range on your brace made it so you couldn't bend your elbow enough to grab his arm with that hand, and you were standing too close to the bookcase to throw him over you and get out of the headlock. Well, too close to do it without hurting him, or your books, that is. You were stuck, but you still weren't going to give in.

Turns out you wouldn't need to.

"Alright. Break it up," came Yondu's voice from somewhere off to the side. "What's going on here?"

Peter released you and you rubbed your ear against your shoulder to get the wet feeling out of it. "She put my stuff in Jello!" he complained.

Yondu gave you a weird, albeit amused look. "Don't ya think ya did enough to him already, missy?" He wasn't scolding you, but he actually was surprised you were still on the attack after having seemingly won the war last night.

Fighting a grin you reply, "In my defense, I'd already done that before the dye thing. I only found out he was planning that afterwards," Technically not the full truth- you actually found out during the setup of the jelly prank, not after, but it was close enough, "and what was I supposed to do, not turn the tables back on him when I found out?"

Peter punches you in the shoulder, but there was no anger behind it, just cheekiness. You stick your tongue out at like a child in retaliation.

Yondu grinned and shook his head. It'd been awhile since he'd seen his boy carefree and goofing off like this, even if he was bickering with you like the two of you were kids. Still, he should maybe try to persuade a stop to the prank war again before things escalated any more and you two killed each other. It'd be a shame to save him from Ego just to let him die in a prank war of all things, and bad form to let him kill their host. "Boy, I think ya might need to accept that she won this round." he said, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"I will do no such thing! She just got lucky." Peter replied.

You smirked. "Yeah. Sure. 'Lucky'," you taunt. "Just say it and I'll call us even."

"EVEN?!" Peter exclaimed. He gestured to the stained purple and pinkish red of the areas of skin you could see. "Look at me!"

Trying not to smile you slowly look down to the brace on your arm. Head cocked to the side your eyes look back to Peter. "You were saying?"

Peter bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. You could tell he wanted to retort with something, but he knew he had no leg to stand on. Eventually he settled for, "I'm still not saying it."

Yondu snorted a laugh. "Whatever it is, just be a man and say it, boy. Quit while yer ahead."

Peter looked at him indignantly. "I am not going to declare her The Prank Master."

Unable to suppress your grin any longer you nudge him in the shoulder and say in your sweetest voice, "It's ok, you don't have to say it," taking a few steps away you add, "We already know." You then jogged out of the way when he made a grab for you.

You made your way out the front door, but he didn't follow, instead just stood there pouting.

"Ya finally gonna give it up, boy? Take yer loss like a man?" Yondu chuckled, teasingly.

"Never." Peter responded, too busy plotting revenge to fully catch the "take it like a man" part as he walked out of the room.

Yondu chuckled and rolled his eyes as he went to take a seat on the sofa. It was nice to see that you had a goofy side, though he wondered if it was Peter rubbing off on you, or if you had just had it buried under layers of stubbornness and sass.

Either way, it seemed certain that the boy was gonna have to relinquish his self-proclaimed title of "The Prank Master."

***

Over the next couple days the pranks between you and Peter had slowed down. This was likely in part because of how you made Peter realize that he couldn't complain too much about getting even for the dye prank if he considered that you were still in a brace as a result from one of his previous pranks gone wrong, but also in part because the two of you had pulled so many pranks so far you were seemingly running out of ideas.

Peter moved the furniture in your sitting room 3 inches to the left, likely to get your back for putting his comb in jelly.

You retaliated by setting up some cling film up at head height in the kitchen doorway for him to walk into and then calling him into the kitchen.

He got back at you by swapping your salt and sugar out, thereby ruining what would have been a perfectly good cup of tea.

For this high crime, you decided to get him back by scrapping out a couple Oreos and filling them with toothpaste. He was most definitely not fond of that one. Called it a crime against nature, and he may have been right, but so was what he had done to your tea.

Other than that, nothing really escalated, well apart from the oreos and tea, that is. The two of you kept making little jabs at each other and annoying one another. Really bad puns, petty insults, that sort of thing.

You did assume, however, that Peter was just biding his time, trying to think of something big that he could spring on you that might make you give up the game and declare him The Prank Master, because gods knew he wasn't going to concede.

And you'd be right.

Peter spent a decent amount of time brainstorming ideas for a really good prank, or even just a decent way to annoy you, in between all the smaller ones, but he was coming up with nothing he deemed quite good enough.

He was about to consider throwing in the towel when you inadvertently provided him with the fodder he needed.

***

It was the fourth day since the first dye prank and most of the dye on Peter had worn off by now.

You were reading on the couch, little Groot was playing with the TV and flipping through random videos on the YouTube app with Drax, and Peter and Kraglin were in the middle of a card game at the table on the other side of the room.

In what you would chalk up to a cruel twist of fate, Groot managed to find his way into a video of ambulance calls.

Rudely and immediately torn from your book by the sound, your hand shoots out for the TV remote and you mute the TV, much to the dismay of little Groot, who had found the noise fun and had been cheering the siren on. As calmly as you can despite your rapid heartbeat, you ask Drax, who was confused by your behavior, to please tell Groot to find something else to watch.

Drax looks at you strangely, but translates for Groot anyway, which again, only sounded to you like he was repeating your words verbatim due to his translator. You still didn't know that the translators didn't actually translate into Groot, but rather Groot had just picked up and could understand a bit of Galactic Standard, even if he couldn't speak it.

Groots looks slightly disappointed for a second but agrees and switches videos and you unmute the TV.

You didn't bother checking what new video he had chosen. That had been a mistake.

After the ad finished playing you were jerked back into reality from your book by the sounds of now multiple ambulance calls going at once. You mute the TV once again and say, "I'm sorry. I should have been more clear. Anything else. Anything else except for videos of that sound."

Drax, rightfully confused, asks, "Why?"

"I do not like it." is all you offer, and you don't elaborate when asked.

Peter, of course, overhears all this, and thinks he's found his new way to annoy you. He of course had no way of knowing the reason you couldn't bare the sound wasn't due to annoyance. He had no way of knowing its effect on you.

***

He tested the waters the next day after lunch.

You were washing up the dishes with Gamora when the sound of an ambulance siren makes you freeze in the middle of drying a bowl.

Gamora turns her head towards the noise and wonders aloud what it was.

Without answering you take towards the direction of the sitting room to, gently, scold Groot for playing those videos again.

Of course, when you get there, you only see Peter, who pretended to be surprised to see you.

"Turn that off," you say sharply.

"What?" Peter asked innocently.

You didn't ask him again. You just grabbed the control and exited the video before throwing the control back down into his lap. "Don't play that again," you warn.

"Why? Does it annoy you?" Peter asked with a smirk. He didn't notice your hands shaking.

Your eyes hardened. "Just don't," you say, returning to the kitchen.

Peter grinned. He was going to have fun with this.

***

Peter would play that sound three more times that afternoon, each time eliciting a more irritated response from you until you finally ripped the plug to the TV out of the wall and turn to him to angrily yell, "Stop it!"

"What?" Peter asked, chuckling in surprise at your latest response. You must really hate that noise.

"You know exactly what. I'm seriously, genuinely asking you to knock it off," you reply.

Gamora, who could tell Peter was working your last nerve and who was also becoming irritated by the repeated playing of the sirens, nudged Peter and told him he had his fun.

Peter half smirked and seemed to relent, saying simply, "Okay."

You sigh. "Thank yo-"

"After you declare me The Prank Master."

Gamora rolled her eyes and propped her head up on the hand resting on the arm of the couch, not wanting to get involved, but inches from yelling at her boyfriend that she was ending the prank war herself.

You were seething. "You're a goddamn child!" you scold, leaving the sitting room and considering getting out some of the vodka you had in the freezer just to calm your nerves.

You had only just made it into the kitchen when the sound started up again.

You back against the wall and cover your face, inches from tears. Your breaths came in shallow gasps as flashes of bright lights and the sounds of tearing metal and screaming fill your senses. You tangle your hands in your hair.

"FUCKING STOP IT!" you scream.

Peter and the others in the sitting room, as well as those upstairs, all paused in shock at the sheer volume behind your scream.

They then heard the sound of the back door slamming forcefully.

Yondu, who had been at the table playing cards with Kraglin, had only been present for the second and last incidence of Peter annoying you with the sound, and it wasn't until now that he put the pieces together. That day when you acted strange and walked out on the show- this siren sound had been playing then too.

Shit.

He got up and scolded Peter, who in his shock still hadn't turned the video back off. "Turn that shit off now, boy! If I hear it again I'm gonna shove my arrow up your ass! You hear me?"

Peter, recognizing the tone in Yondu's voice as one that he had encountered many times as a child when he was in trouble, immediately switched the video off. He had to concede that perhaps he went a little too far this time, but of course he didn't actually understand just how true that sentiment was.

Yondu went to go see where you went, and he didn't need to look very far, which surprised him. He was for sure you would have taken off for the forest again, since it was kinda your thing.

Instead, you were sat with your back pressed against the stone of the house about a couple meters from the door, hand clamped over your mouth and eyes in that terrible 'wide yet unseeing' way. In the dim light provided by what shone out the kitchen windows from inside he thought he could almost see the remnants of fallen tears.

He tried to approach you slowly, but you caught him out the corner of your eye and jerked to a standing position.

"Hey, hey-" Yondu said, holding his hands up. "It's alright-" he started, but then found he didn't know what else to say. After a moment he settled on, "Ya wanna talk about what that was about?"

You don't meet his gaze. "Nothing. He just pisses me off. He's a damn child."

"While that may be true, yer still full of shit."

You glare at him.

He continues. "If this was just about Quill gettin' under yer skin ya wouldn't be shakin' like that, and I doubt you'd be crying neither."

"Am not," you mutter. You turn away, wipe your eyes, cross your arms self-consciously, and start walking away. "It's cold."

Yondu rolled his eyes. It was cool out, yes, but it wasn't that cold. "Ya wanna talk about why ya dislike the particular noise so much?" Yondu called after you. "Ya ain't got to, but I can tell somethin's eating ya. I might help to get it off your chest."

"It's nothing." you reply. "Just an annoying sound."

Yondu frowned. "Now listen here. I ain't gonna force ya to tell me, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let anyone just flat out lie to my face, missy."

You turn to him, indignant. "I'm not-"

"Hell if ya ain't. I've seen that look before, I know what it is. Ya can lie to yerself, but ya can't lie to me!"

You glare at him. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here acting like you know anything about me!"

"I'm the person telling ya that it ain't healthy to keep that shit bottled up inside ya. It'll eat ya alive."

You don't respond. Just roll your eyes and start walking away again.

Yondu threw up his hands. "To hell with you then!" He starts to walk back inside but stops at the door to speak again, this time his tone a little softer, "I have a feelin' no one's ever told ya, girl, but ya don't have to 'be strong' all the time. Sometimes it's ok to let people in. It don't make ya weak." With that he headed back in the house.

You lean your back against the cool stone and sigh in frustration. What did he know.

***

You head back inside a bit later, not feeling much better.

Peter catches you as you're about to head up the stairs. "Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for-"

"Don't." You cut him off, not stoping in your path. "I don't care. I'm going to bed."

Peter frowns, but lets you go. Maybe he could try again in the morning. He truly was sorry. It was just supposed to be a bit of fun.

***

You stared up at the ceiling from your bed for what felt like hours. You couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about it. You knew Peter had no way of knowing why you couldn't stand that sound, but you still couldn't help but be unhappy with him. He just wouldn't stop.

You can feel your jaw clenching with each flash of horrific memory.

You were annoyed at Yondu too. Acting like he knew anything about you or some shit. What did he know? Not you, that's what. You didn't need someone acting like they cared. You didn't need anyone, really. People come, people go. No one stays forever.

You feel your chest clench. Your throat tightens and you sit up. You didn't want to cry.

A walk. That's what you needed. A walk in the forest would surely help wash the memories away. You could walk until you were too tired to think about it, then sleep it off. It would be better in the morning. You'd be ok.

You quietly slip on some jeans and make your way downstairs to put on your boots and grab a jacket. Choosing your thin leather one because it had been chilly when you were out earlier, you open the back door and head out into the cool night air.

You'd find out soon enough that you should have stayed in bed.

[spencessmile]

Gone

Requested? Yes 

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Summary - Hi! could I request a piece where the reader and team are solving a pretty tough case and you find out some bad news. Knowing that you have to finish the case, you don’t say anything but you just end up breaking down. Thanks. 

Warnings - None 

Word Count - 2k

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and/or post it without my consent. 

Feedback and Comments are welcome. Happy reading! 

Requests are CLOSED!

** 

“This feels weird,” You look up at Emily as she looks up from her paperwork. 

“It does feel a bit strange, doesn’t it?” You nod. 

“Are you sure it's been three weeks?” 

“Yup.” 

“Wow.” 

“I feel so fidgety sitting here and doing paperwork,” She said grabbing her empty cup and taking yours as well. 

“Me too,” You follow her to the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar. 

Spencer and Morgan walked into the kitchen as well. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Emily looks over at Morgan. “And what’s on your hands?” 

“It’s black ink,” Spencer answers before Morgan can. 

“Why do you have black ink all over your hands?” You ask. 

“We work for the FBI, we do a shit ton of paperwork for every case we ever work on, you’d think they would have a functioning printer. You would want them too, right?” He asks and you slowly nod. “Well, they don’t! Instead, they have the piece of crap in there that they call a printer. It doesn’t do shit!” 

“Morgan’s right,” Emily agrees. “That thing is garbage.” 

“Maybe try to not beating it up every time you print something and maybe it’ll start working better,” You suggest. “Then again I wouldn’t know because I have my mini printer,” You say, smirking. 

“Oh that was so well played with Hotch, I still can’t believe you got away with that bullshit and ended up getting a printer for your desk.” 

“I had a broken leg Morgs,” You reminded him. “Besides Hotch was the one who asked if I needed anything.” 

“Anything yet?” Reid asks, pouring coffee and handing a cup to Morgan. 

“Nope,” Emily sighs. 

“Are we this desperate to catch a serial killer?” You ask. 

“This is the longest we’ve ever gone without being called on a case. Hotch is probably in his office trying to figure out which case to take on," You chuckle at Morgan's response. 

Just then Garcia walks in, holding several files. 

“I’m giving this case file to Hotch but grab your go bags, the jet is running, brief on the jet.” 

“Oh,” Emily quickly grabs it. “Finally,” You all drop your cups and run to grab your bags and head towards the elevator. 

** 

It’s been almost two weeks and you all were nowhere near to solving this case. The victimology and MO of the unsub made no sense to any of you. 

Anytime you’d think you have something, you’d connected it with what you already have and it just wouldn’t make any sense. 

“It’s late,” Hotch said. “Let’s head back to the hotel, rest up and start again tomorrow morning.” 

“When I asked for a case I didn’t mean one that makes absolutely no sense,” Emily said, dropping her head down on the table. 

“No case is ever solved in a day,” Rossi says. 

“We've spent the last however many days in this boardroom and we haven’t got much Rossi,” You said pointing to the evidence board. “Our unsub killed two people before we got here in the strangest way and now has gone awol.” 

“We spent the last 336 hours going through this case,” Spencer corrects you as you chuckle. 

“They’ll strike again,” He responds. “They always do.” 

“Oh my god,” Emily groans. “What time is it?” 

“Almost 8 o’clock,” JJ says, looking down at her watch. 

“I need tequila!” 

“I’m so in,” Morgan said. 

“I’m in,” JJ said. 

“I’m buying. Aaron you in for a couple of drinks?” Rossi asked. 

“Sure,” Hotch replies. 

“What about you two love birds?” Morgan looks at you. 

“Nuh-uh, I’m so sleepy,” You said.

** 

As you and Spencer got ready for bed, you can’t help but have a strange feeling forming in your stomach. Something was nagging at you but you couldn’t tell what it was. 

It was making you feel sick, almost. 

“You okay?” Spencer asked. 

“Yeah, I miss sleeping in our bed. Hotel beds just aren’t that comfortable.” 

“Me too,” Spencer said, kissing your forehead. “Come on,” Spencer turns off the light and he pulls you closer. 

An hour passes as you twist and turn but you still couldn’t get that awful feeling in your stomach to pass. You carefully get up and pour yourself a glass of water. You pull at the blinds a little, which reveals the moon. You stare at it for a while until you hear shuffling. 

“Babe?” Spencer sits up rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” You responded. 

“Then why are you up?” 

You sigh, sitting down beside him. 

“I just can’t sleep tonight,” You tell Spencer honestly. 

Spencer could tell you were anxious about something. He turns on the lights and takes your hands in his. 

“Talk to me please,” He said softly. 

“I jus-” You take a deep breath before continuing. “I just have this bad feeling about something.” 

“Bad feeling about what?” He asks. 

“I don’t know.” 

“How long have you felt like this?” 

“Not long,” You reply. “It sort of started when we came back to the hotel and were getting ready for bed.” 

“You let me go to bed when you were feeling like this earlier?” Spencer asked, concerned. 

“I thought the feeling would go away but now it’s making me feel sick.” 

“Tell me how I can help you?” 

“I want to sleep.” 

Spencer lays back “Come here,” You lay down next to him as you place your head on his chest, you can hear his heartbeat as his hand moves to your back, softly rubbing your back. 

Before you realize it, you slip into slumber. 

** 

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asks the next morning as you're getting ready to head back to the station. 

“I’m better.” 

You lied. 

You didn’t feel good, if anything you felt worse than last tonight. The nagging feeling was eating at you even more. You were pushing the feeling aside but the more you did the more you wanted to throw something at a wall or yell into a pillow. 

“Good,” Spencer said, kissing you. “Come on, the team is waiting for us downstairs.” 

**

As this case was getting nowhere you decided to step out aside and get some fresh air, outside. 

You quietly sat on the bench, closing your eyes as you took in the light breeze and warm sun. The moment didn’t last long until you jumped at the sound of your phone piercing through your ears. 

Your heart started racing when you looked at the caller ID. 

** 

“We need to re-deliver the profile,” Hotch says. 

“Alright,” Morgan replies as he realizes that you're not in the room with them. “Pretty boy, where is y/n?”

Spencer turns to face Morgan as he realizes that you weren’t in the room. Spencer wouldn’t be concerned when he doesn’t hear from you in a while because often when the wheels in your brain were turning you tended to be quiet and focus on your thoughts. 

“I thought sh-” 

“I’m here,” You say, gripping your jacket with your hands. “So-sorry, I went out fo-for some air. Where are we?” You ask, walking past Emily to stand next to Spencer. 

“We’re about to re-deliver the profile,” Your hands were shaking, no matter how much you tried to control your breathing, you couldn’t. 

You felt like you might pass out but you quickly grabbed Spencer’s hand as he put his hand over yours. 

“You okay?” He whispered and you nod. 

“Absolutely,” You flash him your fakest smile, as you and him both know that it didn’t reach your eyes. 

** 

No matter how much you tried to drain your thoughts with the voice of Hotch speaking your mind wouldn’t let you. 

You had no control over how your body was reacting; your hands were shaking, you kept fidgeting, all your body height was on your left foot and you were swaying side to side. Your eyes were glued to looking out the window on your left-hand side. 

You don’t how long passed until you realized the room was quiet, as you peel your eyes away, all the officers and the team were looking your way. 

“Agent Y/n,” You looked down at your feet not wanting to look at Hotch but you felt someone’s hand on your back.

“What’s wrong?” 

Rossi. 

No, no, you can’t do this here. You're doing your damn job this can’t be happening right now. 

No, please. 

You felt Rossi pull you aside. “Kid, what’s going on?” You felt the tears pressing your eyes as your breathing was picking up again. 

It was happening; you were starting to feel it. 

You looked up at Rossi, as water threatened to spill out of your eyes and you shook your head. 

“I jus-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence without wanting to fall into pieces. “I don’t kn-” 

“It’s okay,” He reassures you. 

You look past Rossi’s shoulder and see Spencer standing there and that completely did it for you. 

“I’m sor-sorry, I can’t,” You push past Rossi, Spencer, and the team, heading back into the conference room. 

You shut the door, leaning against the table as you feel an overwhelming sense of emotions. You try to hold back the tears but the more you did, the worse you felt. So you let them fall and you let yourself feel weak and hurt. 

**

“Y/n,” There was knocking on the door but you didn’t flinch, or turn around to see who it was. “Can I come in?” 

Without turning around, you nod. You hear the door open and close. 

Spencer. 

“Please talk to me,” Spencer didn’t come near you but he stood by the chair. He patiently waited for you to say something. Spencer being in the room once again made your tears fall and made your insides yearn for someone you’ll never see again. 

You turn around to face him and his face softens seeing your tear-stained face. He walks up to you but stops enough to see your face. 

“What’s wrong?” Spencer’s voice made you crumble more inside. 

You all you did was look at Spencer and it was almost like he knew what you were going to say. 

You know you had to say it.

Say it. 

Say it.

Say it so you can be okay with it. 

“He’s dead.” 

As soon as Spencer’s arms wrapped around you, you completely broke down. You gripped his sweater with your hands and dug your head into his shoulder as you held onto him tightly. 

“He’s dead,” You repeated, feeling yourself falling apart. Spencer supported you by holding you close as he let you fall apart in his arms. 

“It’s okay.” He whispers coddling your head. 

** 

The next couple of hours were a blur to you. Spencer and you made it back to the hotel. Spencer helped you change into comfier clothes, ordered some food, and quietly sat with you until you were ready to talk. 

“I’ll never be able to go back to that park,” You spoke up. “It’ll remind me of him too much.” Spencer squeezes her hand. “I’ll never be able to tell him that I love him or we’ll never be able to go and get ice cream ever again. I won’t ever be able to call him and ask him for advice, and that I’ll never hear him crack one of his lame jokes. I’ll never be able to hug him again.” 

Spencer knew you were hurting and he wanted to say something to soothe your pain but nothing he would say, would ease your pain. 

“He’s gone Spencer,” You started tearing up again. “My brother is dead.” 

“Hey, look at me,” Spencer wipes your tears. “He may not psychically be here anymore but now he’s always watching down on you. He’s your guardian angel.” 

“I never told you but he’s been calling me for the past two weeks and been asking when I would introduce you to him. He was so excited to meet you. He had this huge list of things he wanted to do with you. He was so ecstatic when I told him about you,” You turn to face Spencer, laying your head in his lap. You looked up at him as his fingers ran through your hair. 

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” 

You hated that it wasn’t mean to be, you wanted your brother to meet the man that pulled you out of your darkness and pushed you towards the light. 

“You would have loved him, Spence,” A single tear rolls down your face. “He just had so much life to him. He has always up for a challenge and the love he had for books is just insane. He would've loved to share his books with you. He once told me that he so excited to play a game of chess with you and absolutely crush you.” 

Spencer lightly gasps. “Nobody can beat me in chess.” 

“Oh, he would have ended you in five moves.” 

There was a long pause, as Spencer just stared down at your features. “I believe you.” 

“I played so many games with him but I never found a way to beat him.” 

Spencer loved the way you talked about your brother, the way your eyes would shine, and the way your smile would light up your whole face. 

“This is exactly how your brother would want you to remember him, by all his good memories. He wouldn’t want you to be upset.” 

“I know,” You sigh, rubbing Spencer’s hand. “I love you and thank you for being so patient with me.” 

“I’ll always be here for you. I love you.” 

** 

To live in hearts 

We leave behind 

Is not to die - Thomas Campbell 

[beyoncesdragon]

𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

fluff², Haechan x Reader,

Hyuck comes home to you and only granola bars. Or something of that sort

My praise kink jumped there once, woopsie

warnings: reader forgets to eat (unintentionally!!) some suggestive jokes and minor swearing.

hope u enjoy!

“Well hello to you too baby.” Haechan hummed, squatting down next to your collapsed frame on the couch.

Your laptop was still open, a half-finished draft of an assignment - an overview of Uruguay’s Economy and Trade Policy you had to hand in in about thirty hours - an empty water bottle right next to the hot device.

Haechan carefully pressed a feathery kiss to your forehead, causing you to open your eyes and blink tiredly against the light.

“Hyuck?” He just hummed, watching you push your upper body up just to collapse against him. With a soft laugh he wrapped his arms around you, preventing the both of you from falling back.

“How was your day?” The question was mumbled against the skin of his neck but Haechan didn’t mind it. He just hoisted you and himself up on the couch, letting you climb into his lap fully without you having to give up your spot in his neck.

“Stuffed. Lots of choreography slash repetition for the recordings later. And we did a VLIVE...” you nodded tiredly. That VLIVE you had witnessed, forty-five minutes of you staring at the screen with a dopey smile.

“I watched.” Haechan snorted surprised. “You did? Oh wow.” You lifted your head off his shoulders to look at him properly.

“Why so surprised, I always watch your guys’ livestreams. Besides it’s lots of fun.” He said nothing, just smiled. “You looked comfy.”

“Oh you think so? Missed having you there.” You just smirked agains his neck.

“Ah you had Jeno, no?” His response was to pinch your hips softly, causing you to squeak against his skin.

“I’m joking, I’m JOKING!”

Haechan clicked with his tongue, resting his hand on your hips again. “Have you eaten anything already?”

The silence that followed afterwards was answer enough. Haechan sighed deeply before making an attempt to get up.

“Noo stay here I’m good.” Haechan just shook his head.

“You have anything home? I can order...” before he could continue you pressed you lips against his.

“I’m not that hungry Hyuckie. Relax. I was working on my deadlines and other things for work I just didn’t feel like breaking my flow...” Haechan scoffed angrily.

“You need to eat. Don’t forget about your body amongst all the work, don’t forget about yourself! Baby!” You whined at his scolding, quickly pressing a trail of kisses against his jaw.

“I’m not doing it intentionally Hyuck. I’m just busy. But look I drank lots of water today!” You pointed at the - almost - empty bottle next to your improvised working station, doe-eyeing Haechan expectantly.

“Well...good. At least. Now let me find you some food, even if it’s just a granola bar or something...” Haechan mumbled after pressing a rewarding kiss to your lips.

“No objections! Let me take care of you now.”

You nodded, carefully slipping off his lap, not missing out on the chance to smack his butt when he got up.

Haechan just narrowed his eyes back at you, pointing two v-sign fingers first at his and then at your eyes.

“I’m watching you!” You just giggled.

“You know I was joking with the granola bars before. Now please tell me how thats actually the only edible thing in your flat is, babe. Are you good?”

“Listen up buddy, just because you make millions by making girls scream doesn’t mean I do that too. You know taxes and life expenses and bills and...” Haechan rolled his eyes.

“First of all, that’s not my job description. Second...”

“could however be in it. I’m not saying you don’t deserve it by the way. Get that bag, big boy.”

You were silenced with a granola bar before you boyfriend continued.

“Second, I know. But how can someone live without ramen?! And third, you know I pay for you okay? You would tell me if you needed anything, right?” You just hummed, drawing up your knees to your chest.

“I know Hyuckie, but I’m okay. I just have to remind myself to go grocery shopping once in a while and that takes so much effort...” Haechan flopped down beside you, leaning against your shoulders with a pout.

“I come and help you okay? I’ll get you a good snack bar or something, those five granola bars are a sad sight.

You just huffed, bringing one hand up to his hair to softly run your fingers through messy curls.

“Mhm.”

“Come to bed?” Haechan asked, right before took the empty wrapper of the granola bar from you hands and tossed it in the trash like the attentive boyfriend he could be. At times. Most of the times. When he wasn’t a cocky little shit-times.

Your yawn was again all he needed to hear before pulling you up and nudging you towards the bathroom where he insisted on taking care of your skin before hoping in the shower himself.

“Don’t peak yeah?” You just laughed.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Haechan’s head appeared from between your shower curtains, nose scrunched up and lips curled into a smug smirk.

“Nothing you haven’t screamed about you mean. Since that’s apparently part of my job-description...” You flipped him off with a huff before exiting the bathroom.

“I knew it would get to your head.” You could hear Haechan laugh through the walls and couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“Thanks for coming tonight.” You mumbled before you snuggled closer into his embrace. He smelled good, like himself and bit like your body wash even tho he always denied using it.

“All day, your highness granola, I hope you are satisfied with my service.”

You nuzzled you face closer into his chest. “Very much so Sir. Five stars on your Google review for sure.” Haechan’s chuckle vibrated through his whole chest. “Glad to hear that. That would be about seven grand in cash. Gotta get that bag, you know.” This time it was your turn to pinch his sides, eliciting a squeal to come out of his mouth.

“You can fulfil your Callboy-fantasies elsewhere Lee Donghyuck, because as long as you have a key to my door and your shampoo on my rack this is considered a relationship.” Haechan tightened his arms around you with a small but happy sigh.

“Alright alright. I make a special offer then. I give you thirty percent off and a discount code...”

“Donghyuck I swear to god...”

“To keep that 37.5% viewer rating...”

“Oh shut up.”

“I love you too.”

✰- nct127 masterlist

[thebookreader12345]

Unexpected

Pairing: Blake Gallo x reader

Summary: Y/N tells Blake some news he didn’t expect to hear, and the way he reacts makes her regret saying anything in the first place. But when Y/N is in an accident, he has to rethink his future

Requested: No

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and severe injuries, slight reference to abortion/adoption

Word Count: 2,341 Words

The whole firehouse was standing outside, sign at the ready. Blake was doing a 13 mile run today, and he was going to pass the firehouse any second now. He was even running in full PPE gear to raise awareness for cancer in firemen. I was bundled in my coat, and a beanie was resting on my head.

“Here he comes! Hold up the banner!” Stella shouted. Her along with a few others held the up banner they had made with the words “Go! Gallo! Go!” written on it. That’s when Gallo arrived, and when he saw the banner, a smile graced his lips. I cheered louder than the rest of the firehouse because Blake also happened to be my boyfriend, and I was really proud of him for doing this.

“You’ve got this babe!” I cheer. Blake then began jogging over in my direction, and when he reached me, he pulled me in for a kiss. I cupped his cheeks with my hands, and I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. His whole face had a reddish tint to it, possibly because he was running 13 miles in full gear, but it made him look adorable. “I love you,” I tell Blake as he pulled away.

“Love you too,” Blake replied before going off to continue his run. As Blake ran off, I suddenly felt a bit dizzy. I grabbed onto Ritter, who was closest to me, and he caught me in his arms as I sort of collapsed.

“Y/N! You okay?” Sylvie asked as Ritter wrapped an arm around me to keep me steady.

“I-I’m fine. Just got a bit dizzy,” I answer.

“You, fainted, Y/N. That’s not normal. Come on. We’re going to take you to Med,” Emily spoke and took me from Ritter’s arms. Her and Sylvie got me into the ambulance, and then we started the drive to Med. Thankfully, they didn’t put the sirens on, because I didn’t want to cause a scene over nothing. At the hospital, I was put into a trauma room, and a few minutes later, Dr. Manning walked in.

“Hey, Y/N. I heard you kind of fainted earlier. Everything okay?” Natalie questioned.

“I just got dizzy for a moment. I’m sure it was nothing,” I respond.

“Okay, but I want to run a few tests just to be sure. We’ll get you out of here as soon as possible,” Natalie told me. After about 2 hours, Natalie came back, meaning my tests were done. “Okay, so your blood pressure was a very low earlier. Have you eaten anything today?”

“I had a granola bar earlier, but before I could eat breakfast, we got a call,” I explain.

“Well, you’re going to need to be more on top of your eating now that you’re eating for two,” Natalie informed me.

“I-I’m sorry. What did you just say?” I ask.

“One of the tests detected hCG in your blood. It means that you’re pregnant. 6 weeks,” Natalie clarified. “So, who’s the lucky guy? Would it happen to be Blake Gallo, the very man standing right outside?”

“He’s out there? Please tell me he can’t hear us from out there,” I plead.

“Uh, no. He can’t hear us. Is there something wrong, Y/N?” Natalie quizzed.

I didn’t answer her, and instead asked another question. “Is it okay for me to go?”

“Sure. But Y/N, I think that you’ll be a great mother, and if Blake loves you as much as I believe he does, then he’s going to ecstatic,” Natalie confessed.

“Yeah. Sure. Bye, Nat,” I say and leave the room, only to bump into Blake.

“Hey. I got a call from Ritter saying that Brett and Foster were taking you to Med, so as soon as I finished the marathon I came straight here,” Blake said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I didn’t eat much today, so my blood pressure was low. That’s why I fainted. Nothing else is wrong,” I lie. “Can we get going?”

“Yeah. Of course. We can stop by the firehouse to get your stuff and then we can head to my place,” Blake answered.

“Actually, can you just drop me off at my apartment?” I question.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You’re looking a bit pale,” Blake exclaimed.

“I’m fine. I just want to get some sleep,” I murmur. Blake nodded and led me out to his car, and after we grabbed my stuff from the firehouse, he dropped me off at my apartment. I wanted to get some sleep, but all I could think about was the life growing inside of me, and how I would eventually have to tell Blake and everyone else. I should probably do it sooner than later, considering I had a dangerous profession, but part of me didn’t want to say anything. Blake and I had only been together a few months, and I didn’t want to ruin our relationship. At my next shift, the day was pretty slow. We hadn’t had any calls, which was unusual seeing as we were the busiest house. All I wanted to do was be alone, so I went into the gear closet and sat on the floor. After sitting there for a few minutes, I suddenly began to cry. I couldn’t help myself. It felt like my life was falling apart by the second. That’s when the door to the closet opened, and in walked Blake Gallo, the person I didn’t want to see.

“Hey,” Blake mumbled and crouched down in front of me. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry,” I sob as more tears fell from my eyes.

“Sorry for what?” Blake asked and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my face. “You haven’t done anything wrong?” This caused more tears to escape, and I could see worry painted all over Blake’s features. I didn’t want to have to do this now, but I knew deep down that I had to. Blake needed to know.

“Blake, I’m pregnant,” I state.

“W-what?” Blake questioned.

“When I was at Med the other day, Natalie ran a few tests to make sure that nothing was seriously wrong with me, and she discovered that I was pregnant. I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t bring myself to,” I disclose. Blake sat down across from me, and I could tell he was thinking about something from the look on his face. He was probably trying to figure out when this had happened, but I already knew. Natalie said that I was 6 weeks pregnant, and around 6-7 weeks ago, things got heated between Blake and I after a night at Molly’s. We were both so drunk that we forgot to use protection. It soon got to the point where Blake’s silence scared me, so I spoke up. “Can you say something? Please.”

“What do you want me to say?” Blake asked.

“I don’t know. Anything would be nice,” I exclaim.

“Well, I don’t have much to say. Excuse me,” Blake murmured and stood up before exiting the closet. At that moment, my whole world came crashing down. Blake had just walked out without saying a word, which basically meant he didn’t want to deal with a child. And how the hell was I supposed to do this on my own? Of course, there was always adoption or..... I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I couldn’t even think about it. I sighed and wiped the tears from my eyes, and once I felt ready, I exited the closet. That afternoon, we got a call about a house fire. Upon arriving at the scene, Casey was already doling out orders.

“L/N, you and I are going to examine the second floor and check for victims,” Matt ordered. I nodded and put my helmet on my head. As I went to walk towards the house, Blake grabbed a hold of my arm to stop me. I shook him off and continued walking towards the house, placing my mask on before heading inside. Flames were raging around us, and even through my gear, I could feel the heat. Matt then walked up the stairs with me following behind him. Smoke was gathering on the ceiling of every room, and it was getting hard to see. As we got to the second floor, we discovered a woman crawling towards the doors. “Ma’am, you’ve got to get out of here,” Matt demanded.

“I can’t,” the woman protested. “My husband. I think he’s still inside.”

“I’ll find him,” I tell Matt. “You get her outside.”

“Are you sure?” Matt asked me.

I nodded. “I’ve got this.” Matt then helped the woman up, and they made their way back downstairs. I poked my head into the first door, and looked around. “Fire Department! Call out!” No one answered, and it didn’t look like anyone was in there, so I moved onto the room down the hall. Just then, Boden came over the radio.

“L/N, get out of there! The place is about to blow!” Boden exclaimed.

“Just a minute, Chief. There could be another victim in here,” I reply and enter the next room, which had fire raging everywhere. As I stepped inside, the ceiling above me hissed, and seconds later, wooden beams and other materials fell from above. I moved out of the way just in time, but the bad news was that the doorway was now covered, and there was no way out. I looked around as the fire spread, hoping to find something that could get me out of here, and that’s when I saw the paint cans everywhere. This room was being remodeled. Just my luck because paint was highly flammable. At that moment, the fire reached the paint cans, and I had to make a split second decision. I ran at the window and threw myself into the glass, causing it to easily shatter. I flew from the second story just as the explosion went off behind me, sending flames out of every window in the house. I was in the air for a few seconds, and then came the fall. I hit the ground hard on my side, sending waves of pain through my body. Seconds later, I was being surrounded by my fellow co-workers.

“Y/N!” Matt shouted and removed my mask from my face. “Brett! Foster! We need some help over here!” My vision started going in and out as the pain became stronger. My whole body felt heavy, and I felt paralyzed. There was nothing I could do but sit here and take it. The last thing I saw before losing consciousness was the face of Blake Gallo.

Blake’s POV

Y/N’s head fell limp as I reached her, and I was immediately filled with worry. Brett and Foster ran over to us with their supplies, and Matt and I helped them slide the backboard under Y/N before lifting her up onto the gurney. 

“I’m thinking possible broken hip, maybe some internal bleeding. We need to get her to Med now,” Sylvie spoke and placed a breathing mask over Y/N’s face.

“What about the baby?” I question.

“Baby? What baby?” Emily asked.

“Y/N’s pregnant,” I tell them. The ride to the hospital was chaos. Y/N wasn’t looking to good, and Sylvie eventually had to intubate her because she wasn’t breathing well enough. Sylvie said that was likely from a broken rib that may have punctured a lung. The whole ride, all I could think about was the baby. I had reacted badly when Y/N first told me, and I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care. When we got her the hospital, Will Halstead met us at the door.

“You have to save her, man. You have to save both of them,” I exclaim.

“Gallo, I will do everything I can to make sure her and the baby are safe,” Will confessed as he rolled her gurney into one of the empty trauma rooms.

Y/N’s POV

When I woke up, I felt a bit groggy. Like I had just woken up from a very deep sleep. I felt a bit of pain, but it was mostly muted down. I groaned and opened my eyes to see that I was in a hospital room. That’s when I remembered the fall, and I started freaking out a bit. Was the baby okay? Will then entered the room with his chart.

“I’m glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?” Will asked.

“I’m fine. How’s the baby?” I question.

“The baby is fine. It’s almost a miracle. That fall should have caused you more severe injuries,” Will explained. I let out a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding in. I was so grateful that the baby was okay. “Gallo is waiting outside. You want me to send him in?”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “I need to talk to him.” Will nodded and left the room, and seconds later, Blake walked in.

“Hey,” Blake murmured and took a seat in the chair next to my bed.

“Hey. Look, Blake, I know this is unexpected, and you don’t have to agree with me, but uh, I’m keeping the baby,” I inform him.

“That’s great, because I want to keep it too,” Blake responded. “Back at the firehouse, I had no right to leave you in the dark like that. We should have talked things through, and instead I left you alone. I know we’re young, but I love you, and I will love this baby more than anyone else in the world.”

I smiled. “That means a lot, Blake. I’m super scared, but I think we can survive this.”

“Me too. You get some rest, okay?” Blake told me and stood up.

“Actually, can you stay? I don’t want to be alone right now,” I say.

“Of course,” Blake stated and sat down. “And you know, while we’re alone, we could start discussing baby names.”

I laughed. “It’s a bit too early for that, but okay. So, what did you have in mind?”

____________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13​ @anotherfan07​

[hannie-dul-set]

US, AGAIN | four.

SUMMARY. they say history repeats itself, but you’d like to disagree. you had to disagree. history changes, even if you had to force it. but when all your attempts to twist fate were met by nothing but the flashing recurrences of the past, what were you supposed to do?

or, wherein you try everything in your power to have nothing to do with na jaemin, but na jaemin wants nothing but you.

PAIRING. na jaemin x female! reader GENRE. college! au, historical! au, soulmate! au, past lives, forbidden love stuff, reincarnation, romance, drama, humor, angst, fluff, looots of flashbacks, this is an entire kdrama, very loosely inspired by the webtoon “see you in my 19th life” WARNINGS. (for this chapter only) swearing, night terrors, hospital mentions, passing out, the works hgdhjasf WORD COUNT. 5.1k

NOTE. I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG <///3 but life is life thank god we only have to go through this once unlike our dearest mc HJGASDJSF anyway!! lots of jaemin fluff here!! you’ll want to punch him in the face!! hope u enjoy <3

CHAPTER FOUR: why the sun sets and rises

(Running.

Through the winding branches that cut into the air, the silver lake, the jagged ground, the clouds in the wind at each and every shallow pant, you were running—

A gunshot.

—running until your legs gave away.)

You woke up in a cold sweat.

God.

Looking around, you noticed that it was far too early for you to be awake— the hazy light that barely slipped through the thin curtains, the desolate silence that seemed to have consumed your room whole, and the bedside digital clock down below you that said 6:21AM in big bold letters, indicating that you should be fast asleep especially after staying up at ungodly hours in the morning finishing up an assignment. But even after burying your head in between two of your pillows, you couldn’t even suffocate yourself into unconsciousness.

You groaned and jumped off of the top bunk.

When your feet landed on the floor, you had expected to see Seungah’s ghost of a face lying sideways on the bottom bunk, but all that met you was a small, neon orange sticky note laying soundly on her smoothed out pillow. ‘Had to leave early to the diner! Eat the breakfast I made you or else xoxo’, it said. You sighed.

There was no point mulling over the past when you had an entire future to take care of.

“Oh my gosh.”

Hong Nabi was in shock with what she saw when she arrived at the benches by the garden to work on your group assignment today. It was shocking to the point that she dropped all her binders and papers onto the pavement.

You sighed, sliding out of your seat to help her. She spared you a few, quick glances as the both of you were slouched on the floor, and he couldn’t help but bite her bottom lip in worry. The Y/N that was usually so cool, so put together, and so unbothered looked like she was casket ready. That, or ready to star in a Tim Burton animation.

“Is it Halloween today..?”

“Let’s just get this thing started,” you groaned, finally finished cleaning things up and you were now back onto your seat. Nabi sat right in front of you, organizing her now jumbled up material. She wanted to ask if you were okay— but would that be offensive considering that you were very clearly not? Still, she opened her mouth to speak, but was scared into silence when you suddenly cursed out loud. “Since when did this become a paired project? Where the hell are they?”

Nabi pressed her lips together, looking around. “I’m not sure.”

You still had around two weeks more until the presentation, but that didn’t mean that they could slack off as much as they wanted. In a fit, you grabbed your phone from your sling bag, exasperatedly tapping on the fragile screen that Nabi was almost sure that you were going to break it, but before you managed to burst a vein, an incoming sound of noises and laughter approached your ears.

Boys will be boys, but you weren’t having any of that shit.

“Yah,” the moment Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck showed up at your table as if nothing was wrong, you decided to smack the nearest head with a rolled up sheet of stapled paper. “Didn’t we agree to start at nine?”

“Yah,” Donghyuck snatched the weapon from you, his other hand focused on caressing the spot on his head that you’d just every so gently smacked. “Don’t you ‘yah yah’ me, missy. Did you forget that you’re younger than us?”

If only he knew.

“Is that so? You should grow a sense of responsibility, then. It doesn’t take fifty fucking years.”

With that, you let out a huff and swung your laptop open.

The rest of the people occupying the table exchanged concerned glances as they shuffled to find seats of their own. They haven’t known you for long, but this type of temperament from you was arguably out of the ordinary. Even when Donghyuck would strike a chord too dangerously, you wouldn’t snap at him— today, you weren’t your usual self, and they all mutually agreed in silence that they were going to tread carefully if they still wanted their heads attached to their necks.

When the sounds of your fingers clicking against the keyboard stopped, they felt their hearts stopping, as well.

You looked up from the laptop screen, proceeding to look around, closed your eyes, and then breathed out. “Where’s Jaemin?”

At that moment they all flipped their phones open, scrolling, clicking, and typing before they can taste any more of your unraveled temper. You had to admit, you were feeling a little guilty for being such a bitch. A part of it was yes, sleep deprivation, shitty nightmares, and a whole truck load of stress can really take a toll on your sanity, but the other part was voluntary.

Jeno looked up, the first person who managed to pinpoint Jaemin’s whereabouts. “He just texted. He says he’s running— oh, there he is.”

There he was indeed, a couple of feet away from where you all were. Once you confirmed that he wasn’t absent, you turned back to continue working, but the rest of them continued to stare at Jaemin, who was barely hanging onto his dear life, sweating and panting. And as they all watched the poor boy breathlessly running towards the table, they all thought of the same thing with one mind, heart, and soul.

Na Jaemin was a dead man.

He pulled up right in front of you, hunched over breathless with his hands on his knees. He stood up and promptly apologized. “Ahh, so sorry for being late. I had to stop by somewhere and there was traffic. I’m really—”

“I didn’t ask about your personal business,” you hummed, not even looking at him. Everyone, not only Jaemin, flinched at your explicit coldness. “Did you get the files that we need?”

He looked at you. You weren’t looking at him, but you knew he was looking at you.

“...Yeah. Hold on.”

As if the mood wasn’t already shit earlier, it actually turned into absolute horse crap after Jaemin arrived. It wasn’t his fault, really, but circumstance after circumstance didn’t exactly paint the prettiest picture of him. When the clock finally struck eleven in the morning, everyone except you all released a synchronous sigh. “We’re done today, right?” Renjun asked, and you responded with a quick nod, noticeably a lot more mellow than earlier.

Nabi stood up and started fixing her things. “I’ll send everything later to you tonight, Y/N,” she smiled at you.

“Yeah, sure,”’ you hummed, nodding. “Thank you.”

The four boys froze. Why were you being nice to her? Of course, their complaints were verbalized into nothing more than silent whines, groans, and grumbles that easily flew above your ears, Jaemin being a lot more quiet about voicing his complaints than the rest despite taking most of your attacks.

Still, even if you were being particularly thorny to him, he thought it would be a good idea to speak out just as you were about to leave. “Do the both of you have any classes after this? We were planning on getting lunch together,” he said. “Would you like to join? My treat.”

You looked at him. There was a polite smile on your face. Evidently forced.

“No, thanks.”

Donghyuck let out a genuine gasp.

“Did she just—” he stammered, switching his sight back and forth from Jaemin to you. “Did she just turn down a free meal offer?”

“She did,” you sighed, rolling your eyes as he continued to gawk at you. You picked up your heavy bag from the bench seat. “I gotta get going. Have fun, you guys.”

And you let them just like that, with five pairs of eyes trained at the back of your head until they finally lost sight of you.

For someone like you, the bulletin boards at the bus stops were like a gold mine. A gold mine of part-time jobs just waiting to be filled. There were flyers haphazardly plastered onto the board, all in different colors and different fonts. You bit a chunk off of the granola bar that served as your lunch for today, eyes meticulously scanning the available offers, a few flyers already wedged in between your armpit.

“Hair salon assistant— can’t do that. Diner waitress— a hard maybe. Already have a restaurant job pending, my shifts might clash. Library assistant? Alright, I need to check it out further, though. What about a movie— oh!— oh my god, you scared me.”

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

Sooah suddenly appeared beside you, looking up as she clutched her backpack straps. You let out a sigh of relief upon the realization that it was just her.

“Fancy seeing you here, cadet,” you hummed, folding the neatly folding the few flyers that you had and shoving into your sling bag along with the emptied granola bar wrapper. “Are your classes over?”

“Mhm! I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up.”

“Aren’t you honored to spend time with me as you wait?”

You let out a chuckle, sitting down on the wooden seat, patting down the empty spot beside you, and Sooah happily hopped to sit down right away. Peeling off one of the flyers stuck onto the board, you decided to fold it— once, twice, countless more times until the flat, square piece of paper was now shaped into a lotus flower. Sooah beamed in amazement.

“Y/N,” she started, and you dropped the little paper flower onto her tiny hands. She placed it on her lap before looking up to you, large eyes hinted with curiosity. “The story you told us last time— was it a true story?”

You suddenly felt a chill in the air.

“...Why do you ask?”

“Oh, well,” she mused. “My mommy is a Korean Literature teacher at my school, but she teaches a grade above me. Sometimes, I’d go through her stuff to read some stories that I haven’t read in my class, and the other day—”

Uh oh.

After living for twelve whole lifetimes and currently going through your thirteenth, there was always this feeling that haunted you all throughout, a feeling that you were all too familiar with. It was gnawing, grinding, and chewing up the bottom most part of your gut. A warning sign for something bad to come.

You were definitely feeling that right now.

“—I found the same story as the one you told us, big sis.”

Yep. It was never wrong, and it never will be. You bit down your bottom lip.

“And I found something interesting!” oh, how much more must anxiety drown you, but Sooah seemed so excited that you didn’t have the heart to stop her. You raised a brow, urging her, and she smiled brightly. “You said you don’t remember the girl’s name, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Y/N! She has the same name as you!”

Of fucking course.

“The last name is different, though—” she added as an afterthought. “She was Song Y/N, and you’re not. Still. Isn’t it really cool?”

Not cool at all. You wanted to scream, maybe cry a little and lose a generous chunk of your mind, because as far as you knew, there had never been an instance where you had heard of this story being shared to the public— to an entire class, nonetheless. It shouldn’t matter, right? It wasn’t your life anymore. Just an old, tragic tale passed on from mothers to their children as a bedtime story.

But somehow, it made you feel vulnerable.

How many more people knew about this?

“But, sis. You’re kind of a dummy, though. How could you forget someone’s name when it’s the same as yours?”

Sooah questioned, tilting her head, but it eventually washed pon her that you weren’t looking all too well. You had your lips splayed into an evident frown, worry creasing your forehead, which she could not at all get. Were you okay?

“Did you finish reading all of it?”

You asked after a bout of silence. Sooah shook her head in response. “No, not yet,” she huffed. “My mom caught me making a mess out of her things and scolded me.”

That’s good, you thought. At least she didn’t make it to the end— that would only complicate things. After a second of deliberation, you figured that this would be the best move if you played your cards right.

“Sooah,” you started. “Do you think your mom will let me borrow that story?”

The next day, your classes were all condensed into the afternoon— a deliberate decision to allow yourself to recharge in bed for the entire first half of the day.

But right now it was eight in the morning, yet you were already busying yourself inside the campus.

No, you didn’t have a group meeting today, neither did you have any prior commitments needed to be accomplished here in school, but you figured after not having a single fucking blink of sleep last night thanks to Sooah’s revelations yesterday, you might as well head to school early to apply for the part-time job at the library. Only one problem— where was the library?

It was eight in the morning. You had been here since seven-thirty. Not a single bookshelf in sight. You opted to just give up and mold yourself into the floor because you couldn’t even ask anyone for directions because no one was there.

Well. Almost no one.

You had just passed by a single living soul earlier as you were trudging around the bottom floor like a zombie, but you completely missed him. Na Jaemin caught your disheveled figure marching through the hallways earlier, evidently lost, as he left the faculty office with a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hands. He immediately brightened upon seeing you— as if his bloodstream was directly charged with caffeine, but he didn’t come around to approaching you until now. He couldn’t get the timing.

Even now, as he discreetly tailed behind you without your knowledge, he didn’t know when was the appropriate time to give you a simple ‘hello’. He pressed his lips together, taking in a sharp breath through his nose, and decided screw it— you wouldn’t even be happy to see him no matter the timing.

He picked up his pace and sounded from right behind you.

“Morning, group leader.”

You stopped, swiveling your heels around, and he was met with your grimacing face.

As expected. He gave you a blinding smile.

“How are you?”

“My morning is shit, thank you very much,” you spat. “Even more now, after seeing you.”

Ouch.

Jaemin knew that you weren’t exactly fond of him, and he’d spent too many hours wondering why. Maybe you just disliked him without bearing much of a reason. Some people were like that, but he didn’t hold it against you. He still pressed on with a smile.

And it irritated you.

(You believed that it was irritation, or made yourself believe. Yeah, let’s go with irritation.)

“Now, what do you want?” you crossed your arms, shifting your weight to one leg as you looked at him with exasperation. “You’re definitely not here to ask me about our assignment, right? I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I might as well say it to your face for your own good.”

You roughly shoved a finger to his chest, mustering up not a glare— but a plain look of disinterest.

“I don’t like you.”

Jaemin simply looked at you.

“You don’t like me.”

“No matter what you try to do, that won’t ever—wait, what? What the fuck?” you had to double take, expression suddenly morphing into a comical confusion, which Jaemin found cute, but of course he couldn’t say that out loud. He settled with the same smile as earlier, which you found a little more irritating as much as it was conflicting this time around. Within a second of silence, you felt heat slowly rising and you felt it slowly getting to your head. “You’re just gonna take that...as that?”

He let out a hum, shrugging. “I can’t dictate how you feel, can I?”

You gawked at him.

“You’re not even gonna ask why? Not even gonna protest?”

“Do you want me to?” he leaned forward, face a little closer to yours, smile a little more irritating than before, the heat growing a little more prominent than ever, your grasp on your consciousness becoming a little more hard to hold than earlier. You felt yourself getting caught in a stammer. “I would, if you want me to.”

Fuck this shit and fuck it completely.

“Where are you going?”

“None of your business,” you stormed off before you could find yourself getting caught inside a heatwave, breathing out long, fervent breaths to calm yourself down, the dizzying heat slowly getting to your head making you woozy. It would be a bad idea to even turn around and look at him. “I’d appreciate it if you don't follow me.”

Jaemin frowned when he saw your back yet again. He felt like this was the only thing he’d seen from you— your back perpetually facing him without any hope of you even turning around to spare him a quick glance, but he didn’t want to go against your wishes. He wasn’t planning on following you. But when you suddenly collapse on the floor a few feet away from him—

Thud.

—what else was he supposed to do?

(“Your Highness.”

It was without question that he’d answer your call sparing not even a second to waste with those gentle eyes of his, and this time was no different. The only difference being the quirk of his lips— pursed, pouting. He stepped away from the bush of azaleas, and stepped closer to you.

���I thought I told you not to call me that anymore,” he huffed, languidly dropping beside you on the stone bench, taking your hands into his with an earnest glimmer. “Say it. I want to hear you. Please?”

It was impolite to laugh at the prince— a punishable crime by itself. You were fortunate that he liked you enough.

“Your Highness,” you hummed. His shoulders drooped down, visibly dampening, but he shook his head with a newfound resolve and instead lended all of his attention to you, instead. “It is without saying that the very breath you take is incomparable to any person on this land—”

Your gaze darted upwards, looking at him.

“—but why do you choose to come see me everyday in the garden? Even when I am not around?”

He was still for a moment, fazed and the littlest bit taken aback, but not a second too long for you to spare any worry. A newfound smile playing on his lips, he lifted up your hands that he was holding, pressing a tender kiss on your knuckles.

“Why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west every single day?”

He looked at you, continuing.

“Just because it was made that way.”)

“Daegang.”

The whisper that you sounded in your state of unconsciousness caught Jaemin’s ears as he carried you to a vacant room inside the campus hospital. He looked down at you, your voice as clear as day despite the hoarseness of it, peeling himself away from your closed eyes, lashes fluttering above your cheeks before he could stumble over his own feet.

When he gently dropped you on to the bed, the mattress sinking underneath your weight, his windpipes nearly closed, a choking noise escaping the moment he felt you tug him down by the sleeve of his shirt, but he maintained his composure. He dropped your sling bag onto the bedside table, taking notice on the colorful piece of paper peeking out of the bag’s zipper mouth, a huff of a smile when he closed it up. Even you can be a little disordered, sometimes, he wondered in amusement as he gazed down on you.

Jaemin let out a huff of breath, dropping down the chair placed beside your bed, and he pulled out his phone to send a few messages here and there. An hour passed. He noticed you stirring underneath the sheets.

“Ah, you’re awake!”

Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t. You couldn’t tell if the blurred out silhouette of the face you have grown to both hate and love was a mere figment of your memories, or if he was actually real. There was the temptation brought about by your disorientation— to stretch your arm out to his face just to make sure, but you were lucky that your flimsy consciousness came at just the right time before you were to do anything regretful.

“Ugh.”

“You’ve been out for over an hour. Maybe you should just skip your remaining classes today,” at that point you were sure he was real. Na Jaemin had worry laced all over his voice, expression, and posture. It wasn’t a sight welcome to your peace of mind when you had just woken up after passing the fuck out. “What happened? Did you not get enough sleep? Did you skip breakfast? I asked Jeno to buy some food just in case you wake up and I’m not here, but you were unconscious for longer than I expected.”

“I’m fine, I’ll just—”

A regretful action. You tried to stand up, but all that happened was you falling pathetically back onto the bed.

“...”

“Don’t push yourself, Y/N,” Jaemin sighed, tucking you back in and placing a hand on your forehead, and by god you could hear the alarm bells ringing in your ears. “I checked earlier. It doesn’t seem like you have a fever. Oh? You’re starting to heat up, maybe you actually do—”

“I don’t!”

Was it possible to voluntarily pass out?

You threw the blanket over your head.

It was fortunate that he didn’t decide to press on, and instead he just left you alone underneath your makeshift tent to calm the sudden blazing of your face. Did he know that you were embarrassed? Oh god, did he know that it was because of him? Not that it was, of course, but it wasn’t unlikely for him to assume that he was the cause of your sudden temperature rise. It would be much better for him to believe that you did have a fever. Fuck, you should have just told him that you were sick.

“Knock knock,” outside of your blanket shield, you felt something lightly pressed at the side of your head, prompting you to peek outside, just enough for your eyes to be exposed. When you turned around, you were met by a box of Orion Choco Pie, just one of the few snacks that he had brought for you. “Here, have this. Eat.”

You blankly stared at the red box.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Leave it. I’ll eat once you leave.”

“No can do, missy,” Jaemin clicked his tongue, and without your consent, grabbed your nearest hand and opened it into a palm, placing the far too large box on top of it. “I have to make sure that you actually finish it.”

He was resilient.

Much like someone else, you grumbled, opening the packaging and stealing one of the cakes nestled inside. He had a satisfied smile on his face— almost like a proud parent watching his four year old daughter writing her name for the first time. You wanted to throw the damned snack to his face, but voted against the act and took a bite from it instead. “Fine. But for your information, I might have passed out because I barely got any sleep last night, so stop wasting your worries.”

“That doesn’t make things any better,” he said. “How am I supposed to stop worrying after hearing that? You should take care of yourself, Y/N.”

“I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

“I’m not buying it. I have to make sure that you’re getting enough sleep every day.”

“What the fuck? Do you think you’re my mom, or something?”

“No, what the hell? Don’t make things weird,” He grimaced, looking at you in disbelief. Holy fuck. You nearly broke out into a fit, if you were being honest. Na Jaemin who was usually all smiley and kind was looking at you with an expression that you were sure his facial muscles didn’t even have the knowledge to conjure. His next words were nothing more than a low grumble. “How can she think I want to be her mom when I like her? Jeez.”

The choco pie that you’d been eating threatened to climb back up your throat.

“Wh— What the fuck?”

“What?” Jaemin replied naively. “One more time? Should I repeat it? Y/N, I like—”

“Okay, okay, I got it the first time, please—!”

Dear lord, he was going to be the death of you. You took in a long, sharp, painful breath.

“I get it.”

Jaemin looked at you with a small smile. He didn’t seem like he was going to continue teasing, so you quickly scared down the remaining chocolate snake inside the box so that you could slip away from him as soon as possible. That wasn’t the best idea, though, because the choco pie almost ended up going down the wrong throat and the guy was sure to freak out over it. Luckily you managed to get away with forcing it down and having Jaemin only looking at you with a minimal amount of concern.

It was time to get the fuck out of here.

“Thank you for the food, Jaemin, but I need to get going,” he didn’t even get the chance to say anything, but you were already on your feet, ready to set out to the door. You looked back at his frozen stature before reaching out for the door handle. “I’ll pay you back some other time.”

You bowed politely. Jaemin had only gotten back to his senses once he’d realized that he couldn’t see your face anymore, only the back of your head— a sight that he’s used to seeing, a reminder of where he stood. He scrambled to his feet and took off after you.

“Wait, you should drink water first! And take these with you! Y/N—”

Shit. He didn’t want you to leave yet. Not when he’s finally had a proper conversation with you. The two of you were already out in the hallway, the glimpse of light from the heavily clouded sky leaking through the windows and coloring the white walls and floor with an out of place brightness and at one point the light stuck on you. It was difficult to match your pace— staying not too far behind, not right beside you, never ahead of you. He swallowed.

Jaemin felt bad about pulling this, but he couldn’t think of any other way to make you stay.

“Daegang.”

You froze on the spot.

There was a heavy weight anchoring Jaemin’s conscience, falling even heavier as you slowly turned around to face him. It fell to the bottom of his stomach the moment he caught your expression.

“How—” you stammered. “Where did you get that name?”

He pressed his lips together tightly, a considerable distance between the both of you as he averted his eyes. “You muttered it earlier while I was carrying you.”

“C—carrying?”

How else would he have hauled you over to the campus hospital? But an obvious fact such as that was still enough to dumb your IQ a couple of notches down. You would have been fine if he didn’t mention it and leave you in your blissful ignorance, but he just had to drill the existence of that fact that you were in his fucking arms when you had sworn to be a piece of shit to him.

The heat was rising to your head again just like earlier.

“Ah.”

You heard Jaemin utter a sound from a few steps in front of you— a light grumble, you’d assumed, but you weren’t entirely sure— and it was at that moment that you’d realized how freaking awkward the distance between the both of you was. Were you social distancing?

His hollow sigh and evident pout threw all of those meager thoughts out the window.

“Is he the reason why I can’t get close to you?

What the hell does he mean?

“An ex you can’t over?”

You broke into a coughing fit. Jaemin instantly ran over to you in panic, patting your back to help appease the violent coughs, but in reality he wasn’t of any help at all because his palm was barely touching you. “Holy fuck”—cough—“oh god. I guess— I guess you can say that...?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled from behind you. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. It must be a sensitive topic.”

“If you knew that it was touchy then why bring it up in the first place,” you shot him a glare, looking back, but it was less threatening and more questioning. You couldn’t bring yourself to get mad at him at this point. He stood there in blatant guilt, his expression, stature, and demeanor without any intention of hiding it all. This was why you couldn’t get mad at him. Jaemin was transparent.

You weren’t sure if it was just his nature or if it had something to do with you.

You wouldn’t know what to do if it was the latter.

His lips finally parted after a moment of silence to answer you— even if you hadn’t expected an answer in the first place.

“I didn’t know how else to make you talk to me a little longer.”

You didn’t know what to do, at all.

Jaemin’s cheeks were stained with a shade of pink and fuck— you could see in his eyes that were looking at you, trying not to look at you, that he was bearing all the sleeves of his heart to you without an ounce of regret, but a euphemism of the bright red color that he was trying to hide.

God.

Why did you have to meet him in this life?

“Why?” you voiced, quiet. “Why do you like me so much? You don’t even know me that well, and I’m not even in any way nice to you.”

He didn’t answer.

“So, why?”

For a moment, Jaemin kept quiet, as if waiting for the pink to fade from his cheeks before doing anything, but it never did. Even when his lips stretched into a closed smile, his eyes crinkling and showing the stars that weren’t in the sky, he was still tinged with that soft, powdery color.

He didn’t wait. He didn’t wait for you to speak when he left— when he left right after saying two words that stretched inside your mind until the sun set in the west and the skies turned pink.

“Just because.”

<prev | MASTERLIST | next>

TAGLIST. @danishmiilk​ @wownajaemin​ @kkakkdugi​ @jccv​ @bat-shark-repellant​ @kiri-ah​ @huanginjoon​ @sehunniepot​ @lvingjaem​ @hiddenzen @lanadreamie​ @w0nni3wrld​ @dnyls​ @doderyscoffee​ @seungstarss​ @patchi-chi​ @marklexleaf​ @thorscrown​ @mieohmy​ @lvoejimin​ @viastro​ @dejvns​ @junglewoos​ @pewpewpwe00​ @unknown5tar​ @chezzontop​ @leejunini​ @lixseu​ @yunoyeol​ @42hyuck​ @keemburley​ @sungchannel @charm-art @eyyyyyyyow @nshitae​ @lolibaaae​ @colpen​ @juyeo-eon @deliciouslyyellow​ @nct-writers​ @czennienet​ @neowritingsnet​ @kpopscape​​

© hannie-dul-set, 2021

[mrvltwimagines]

Thinking Thin

SPENCER REID X READER

SUMMARY: You knew you couldn’t hide your habits forever, you just hoped you could’ve hid them a bit longer.

WARNINGS: Eating Disorders, Low Self-Esteem, Self Degradation 

WORD COUNT: 4k

I knew that what I was thinking was just my mental illness talking. While looking at my body in the mirror, I knew that the words I was thinking about what I saw were words only I thought about myself, but it didn’t stop me from thinking them and believing them.

Pulling my t-shirt up a little higher, I felt a sense of dread come over myself when I take in my overall form. My stomach still hung a bit, and from a side view even tight pants couldn’t stop the protruding shape of it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to physically cut the fat off of myself. How humiliating it felt to be fat when I worked in the field that I do, surrounded by beautiful people. How did the team not look at me and doubt my work? How did they feel so comfortable trusting me with their life when I don’t even have my own put together? I sighed as I pulled my shirt back down and tucked it back into my slacks. After throwing a cardigan on to help me cover up a bit more, I was out the door and on my way to work.

The second I walked out of the elevator and towards the bullpen, I could feel my anxiety rising. I had joined the BAU team close to a year ago. I was close with them all, comfortable on an emotional level with each of them, but when it came to my insecurities and every day struggles to just stay alive or even just eat a meal, they were oblivious. So when I was having a bad day like today, my anxiety sat a little higher on my scale and I could only hope that I could keep it low key.

“Good morning, y/n,” JJ sweetly greeted me as I set my bag down. She was sitting on Reid’s desk, him in his chair and Derek standing next to them. I blushed at the attention I got as they followed JJ’s eye-line, and offered back a similar greeting before taking a seat and letting out a sigh.

“Rough morning, princess?” Derek chuckled. I wanted to say yes, but I knew the question was generic and made more for the purpose of humor.

“Just feel like I’m always tired nowadays. As much as I hate to say it, it’s like I need cases to keep me alert and busy,” I offered back. It wasn’t a lie, I was tired. It might have to do with the little food intake, or the restless sleep, but what they don’t know doesn’t hurt. I did feel more alert when working a case, but that’s to be understood since every case is dealing with murderers. If I wasn’t alert, it’d be a bit questionable.

“Well you are in luck then, missy. Hotch wants us all in the conference room, we have a new case,” Garcia chimed in, speed walking past the four of us and towards the conference room. I watched the others stand up and begin to follow her, but the second I stood up I felt the dizziness set in and stopped myself from moving for a second, needing the support of my desk to not topple over. The dizziness subsided and I cleared my eyesight before standing up straight and trying to blow off what just happened. I looked around to see if anyone caught that, my heartbeat picking up a bit when I made direct eye contact with Spencer right before he disappeared into the conference room. The panicked feeling in my chest grew as I walked towards the room. I could only hope he either saw the end of what just happened, or that he was just curiously looking around and looked at me the same time I looked at him. I didn’t have much time to think before entering the room where everyone was already seated, quickly making my way to my own seat in between Emily and Derek.

“Alright team, last night in Washington, a third hiker was found with a limb missing,” Garcia started, flashing pictures of the newest and previous other victims with different body parts missing from each of them. Beginning to brainstorm with the team, my thought process was somewhere else. I really tried to stay with them, and to throw in my own insights, but it was hard when trying to avoid eye contact with Spencer when I could feel his gaze on me a lot of the time. What was he thinking? 

Soon enough Hotch announced that we’ll be flying out in thirty minutes, and everyone started to separate to go grab their to-go bags and finish up any last minute tasks. As I walked out of the conference room, I jumped a bit at Reid standing up straight and pushing off of the railing right outside the door.

“Jesus Spence, are you trying to kill me?” I chuckled, throwing a hand over my heart to be dramatic. My heart was actually beating fast, only continuing its pace once I made direct eye contact with him. He offered a shy smile, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Sorry, I truly didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckled, “I just wanted to check in with you, see if you were feeling alright?”

“Oh yeah, like I said earlier, just a bit tired.”

“You looked like you were on the verge of passing out right before we went into the conference room. Are you sure you’re alright? Are you feeling sick?” He pushed on. My cheeks went red knowing he had witnessed my dizziness spell earlier. My mind whirled with all my potential answers, but I just couldn’t think of a good one.

“Oh no, I’m not sick. I’m fine, I promise,” I tried to sound confident in my answer, waving him off while beginning to walk by him. I jumped a bit at the feeling of his hand gently wrapping around my forearm, stopping me from walking away.

“I’ve noticed you have moments like what I saw earlier a lot recently. You know you can talk to me about anything, what’s going on?” My eyes widened a bit at how observant he’s been. Of course he wouldn’t forget what he’s seen considering his ability to memorize literally everything, but I didn’t expect him to notice me as much as he has.

“I-“ my mouth clamped shut at the sound of Hotch calling everyone to start to head out. I took the distraction to pull my arm away from Spencer and speed walk to my desk, grabbing my bag and following the others to the elevator. I begged myself not to turn around and look at Spencer, but it was inevitable when hopping into the elevator and facing the doors to see him joining the rest of us. He wasn’t looking at me, and I let out a deep breath. I knew the conversation wasn’t over. I knew he was not making a scene for the sake of my privacy, which I’m thankful for, but I just never wanted this conversation to pick back up.

* * *

The second we got to Washington and split up, any previous thoughts were thrown to the curb and our attention was fully on the case. Hotch, Reid and I made our way into the police station, and the chief of police was quick to fill us in on everything he knew about the case. Thanking him, we were quick to be left on our own to try and figure things out.

The day went by quickly, everyone joining back at the station around 8pm with more and more information, getting us closer to figuring out the unsub. Spencer’s been watching me a bit, and I could tell he had something to say every time I declined wanting anything to eat and instead settling with drinking more coffee. To settle his mind a bit, I made sure to eat a small vending machine granola bar within his eyesight hoping he would be satisfied seeing me eat something. Before we knew it, it was 11pm and we were all exhausted, ready to head to the hotel for the night and pick back up in the morning.

“Alright, we have four rooms. Who wants to board with who?” Hotch asks as we’re packing up our things. This happens every time, and most of the time Spencer and I would share a room, but sometimes Derek and him would go with each other and I’d get a room by myself considering Rossi and Hotch usually go in one and JJ and Emily would share another.

“I’ll board with y/n,” Spencer called out quickly. Everyone else figured their situation after that, but my mind was racing and my stomach was sinking.

I knew there would be a day where hiding my habits would become a bit harder, I just didn’t want to believe that today might be the day that they may become exposed to someone else. I haven’t lost nearly enough weight for the team to notice, and I’ve been doing extremely well at keeping this personal matter at bay. I’ve never had to talk about any of this with everyone, so it’s a dreadful thought that in just under ten minutes there’s the potential that i’m going to have to try an figure out how to hide what’s going on to the extreme or end up telling Spencer what’s truly going on.

The thought of him knowing sent a buzz throughout my body. My mind told me it’s pathetic that I restrict so heavily, and to still be as fat as I am. Would he even believe me if I told him I have an eating disorder while looking like I do? Most days I want to laugh at myself for having an eating disorder and still being so heavy, and I know that Spencer is nowhere near as cruel as my own mind, but what if he doesn’t take it seriously? Would that hurt more than the constant nagging in my brain and pain throughout my body?

The car came to a stop and we all began to go our separate ways. Spencer grabbed our key from Hotch, and I slowly followed behind his tensed form. He didn’t say anything to me the entire elevator ride up. I could feel him side eyeing me and my cheeks burned red. 

I was expecting him to say something the second we got into our room, but he didn’t. Instead he simply announced that he was going to shower, and left me alone in the room. A sigh of relief left my lips before my mind went straight to overthinking. What if he just genuinely doesn’t care and he was simply “checking” on me earlier to at least acknowledge what he saw? What if he’s simply going to ignore it? Isn’t that what I want? Why do I feel so upset that he’s not asking me more questions, when i’ve been pushing so hard for him not to?

My mind felt like mush. I didn’t struggle like this everyday. Most days went on like normal. I’d wake up, drink coffee, head to work and just immerse myself into whatever project is going on so I didn’t have to think about food. Most days I’d eat at least one meal, two if I got a considerate amount of exercise in. I won’t deny that i’ve lost weight, but it just wasn’t enough, and that was proven by the fact that no one else seemed to notice either. No one on the team ever judged me for my weight, and I know they all loved me for who I am and not what I look like, but it’s hard not to compare myself when on the same team as women that look like JJ and Emily. They were skinny and pretty, men loved to stare at them, while I was always overlooked and ignored. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I lost some weight and tried a little harder, I might feel a bit more loved. And that’s where I felt conflicted. What I’m doing is unhealthy. I know that much, but I couldn’t just stop. It’s become an addiction of mine to really push myself and see how low of a calorie intake I can have each day while still feeling normal. It’s addicting to have control over this when everything else in my life feels so out of reach. 

“y/n?” my head snapped towards the bathroom door, seeing Spencer leaning against the frame. I didn’t realize I had sat down on the end of one of the beds, or that I had just been staring at the wall the entire time. His hair was wet, and he was dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a plain t-shirt. He looked so beautiful, too beautiful to want to be around someone like me. 

“What’s going on?” he asked. I’d be stupid to assume that he can’t read me like a book, but I knew that saying anything along the lines of “nothing” wouldn’t be a suitable answer for him. 

“I’m just tired.”

“Don’t give me that again, y/n,” he sighed frustratingly and I could feel my heart wrench. Was I annoying him? 

“You’ve changed in the past few months. I never see you eat, you’re experiencing dizzy spells, and don’t think I don’t notice how you either avoid your reflection in any reflecting surface or you simply grimace at what you’re seeing. Tell me what’s going on, and don’t lie to me.” 

I shook my head, willing myself to stop the tears that were forming and so badly wanted to stream down my face. I quickly turned my head to the opposite side of the room from him, feeling as if I might implode if I made eye contact with him.

“I’m just tired, Spence. Can we please just leave it at that?” I asked. I didn’t mean to sound so weak, I wanted to sound confident as to not add to his suspicions, but I messed that up too. 

“I’m not going to leave it at that. Do you think i’m stupid, y/n?” this time I couldn’t help but look at him. His voice carried anger and frustration, and it made a ball of guilt and shame expand in my chest. He held eye contact with me before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Of course I don’t think your stu-”

“You must if you don’t think i’ve caught on to what you’re doing to yourself. You’ve lost a good amount of weight within the past few months, you’re not eating, you keep getting dizzy, your moods are constantly changing, and again - I see the way you look at yourself. Now are you going to talk to me or am I just stuck here keeping these assumptions to myself and letting you hurt yourself?”

My eyes widened at hearing all the things he’s noticed. I was definitely the stupid one for assuming he wouldn’t notice. He was staring me down. I tried to hold eye contact but couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” I spit out. I don’t know what exactly I was apologizing for, but I know I felt guilty. I felt defeated and sad that while I was hurting myself, I was also making Spencer experience it along side with me unknowingly. 

“I don’t want you to apologize to me!” His exclamation was the final straw to get the tears running down my face. Could I possibly make this any worse? He clearly knows what going on, and I’m only making him more frustrated the longer I continue to not talk about it, but it was still so embarrassing. I didn’t want to talk out loud about this issue, almost like I felt I didn’t deserve to. 

“I want you to tell me you have an eating disorder. I want you to confide in me like I do with you all the time for my problems! I want to hear whats going on in your big, stubborn brain to make you think what you’re doing to yourself is okay!” he approached continued while approaching me. I still sat on the edge of the bed, and he stood right in front of me. I couldn’t help the slight jump at the feeling of his hands gently caressing each side of my face, tilting my head up, forcing me to make eye contact with him.

“I hate how I look,” I softly spoke through tears, “I’m surrounded by beautiful people and I can’t help the embarrassment that floods through me on the daily because I will never be worthy of anyones time. I have rolls and a stomach that hangs over, and I can’t wear shorts or skirts without my thighs chafing and sometimes even my jeans grow holes because they can’t take the tension of having so much fat rub together,” I could feel my regret bubble up with every word I was saying, knowing that whether it be tonight or tomorrow or the day after that, I will regret having talked about any of this out loud, but I can’t stop myself now. It’s been bubbling up in my system for too long.

“I can’t imagine being in a relationship with anyone looking the way I do. I can’t imagine anyone would find me attractive, let alone sexy. I can’t look at myself in the mirror, especially naked, how could I expect anyone else to want to? So i’m trying to lose weight. It might not be the best way, but it’s working. It’s working and it might have some negative side affects, but i need it to work, Spence. I can’t keep looking like this,” now I was frustrated crying. So frustrated that I look the way I do. Frustrated that i’ve never been skinny in my entire life, and that even as a kid I was ridiculed for my weight. Frustrated that what i’m saying won’t make sense to a lot of people, but for me it’s my entire existence. My days revolve around this happening to me, and to others they still just see a fat person. 

Spencers grip tightened a bit when I tried to pull away. His thumbs had been slowly helping wipe away the tears that didn’t seem to want to stop. For someone who claims so much that they didn’t want anyone to find out, I sure did feel all too relieved that the secret was out. I didn’t know what I wanted out of this, but by the look on Spencers’ face, at least I knew I have someone that loves and cares for me even while dealing with such a difficult thing. 

Without saying anything, he pulls me into his chest. My tears were beginning to subside, but the ache in my chest was still persistent.

“I hate to see you treating yourself like this,” he gently started, each word creating a small vibration on my cheek from the rumbling of his chest as he spoke, “You are so strong. You’ve been dealing with this without talking to anyone? How- how you even began to form these opinions and see yourself like this is a mystery to me, but y/n, you are so so beautiful. I don’t know how else to say that. You are so bright and warm, and you help bring everyone to a better place just by being present. It fucking kills me to hear you say these things about yourself, but I get me just calling you beautiful isn’t going to magically fix things.” I could tell he was thinking as he paused after that last second, “I want to help you. I miss your smiles, i miss going out to grab food with you as a small escape from cases. I miss joking around with you, and not constantly being afraid of watching you to make sure you don’t pass out. I know there’s a certain control factor in what you’re doing, but i want to help you get control on things in a healthier way. I don’t know what else to say other than i want to help you. I don’t want to watch you hurt anymore.” 

Silence fell over the room after that. My thoughts were all over the place, and I know his were too. He slowly pulled away from me, bringing his hands back up to my face, forcing me to make eye contact with him again.

“I like the control. I can’t let myself go back to before if i still look like this,” I whispered out. 

“I can’t let you continue this, y/n. I can’t sit around knowing you’ve gone hours without eating and that you’re constantly having inner turmoil telling you you’re worth so little. You’re so important. No matter what you look like, you are and always will be so important. You’re beautiful, and smart, and you are just... so important,” he responded, “you don’t deserve all the bad you’re putting yourself through. There’s so many other things that you can gain control over, but hurting yourself like this should not be one of them. I don’t know what or how to help you, that’s what i need you to tell me. What can i do for you? What do you need from me? because you’d be stupid to think that tomorrow once we wake up and get back to working the case that i’m just going to forget all of this. This will be on my mind until you get your life back.”

I couldn’t stop myself from crying again. A warmth spread throughout my body, hearing him being so supportive and the furthest from annoyed or frustrated like i thought anyone would’ve been was soothing my heart and mind. There’s clearly no coming back from this. Spencer knew my darkest secret and he’s here telling me he wants to help. This is my chance to help myself, and i’d be more than stupid not to do it.

“I just need support. I need help. I still so badly want to lose weight, but i need help working through my disordered eating mindset and i don’t know if i can do that on my own. I just... need help,” I couldn’t think of what else i could say, but i could tell by the slow nodding and the small smile that was forming on his face that he knew what i was implying. 

“I’m so proud of you, just know that. I’m proud that you talked to me and let me know what’s going on your mind. I’m all yours, y/n. I’ll always be by your side and willing to help, you just have to let me.”

I nodded to which he slowly bent down a bit and kissed my forehead. I was beyond relieved that the conversation had died down. I was relieved that someone else knew what was going on in my mind and that i wasn’t alone anymore.

“Now go get your pajamas on. We’ve got a long day tomorrow, and I don’t want you to be too sleep deprived.” he smiled. 

Even though there were two beds, it was figured by the both of us that only one was going to be used. Once I got out of the bathroom dressed in my pajamas, Spencer was quick to pull the blankets back next to where he was laying and indicate for me to hop in next to him. I settled down, his arms gently pulling me closer to him, and i rested my head on his chest.

“Thank you Spence, for everything. I don’t know what i would do without you,” I admitted after he turned out the lights and we were both settled and about to fall asleep.

“I love you, y/n,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I lifted my body enough to look at him to ensure he was meaning it the way i thought he was, and the look on his face solidified that it was.

“I love you more, Spence.”