#but like. idk when you've learned to hide all the weird things about you that unsettle other people it's weird to see them called out

[neverendingford]

.

[quixotical-lymbo]

AAAA HIIII‼️‼️ LOWKEY UR ONE OF THE BLOGS IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH BUT FARRRRR TOO SCARED TO INTERACT WITH BC IM LIKE THAT, BUT IM TWEAKING OVER D16 RNNNN 😭😭

If its not too much to ask but could i req for some basic D16 hcs or a drabble with a child reader or possibly his child? (IDK HOW AGE AND CHILDREN WORK IN CYBERTRON LMAOO) I really dont mind what you make IM OBSESSED WITH UR WRITINGGG!!

Please take care of urself and eat drink and sleep!! Love the work, keep it up!!!

Pairing: D-16 &  gn!sparkling!Reader Rating: SFW Summary: headcanons of D-16 taking care of his sparkling :3 Warnings/Tags: Canon divergence, pre-canon, cybertronian reader, fluff, family shenanigans, Orion Pax can be viewed as a second father figure/uncle, angst, and typical family dynamics A/N: ahh!! ty! don't be afraid to interact with me :) and writing this was so fun! I had some help from @skelswritingcorner headcanon about sparklings.  Word Count: 1300+ words 

How you two met 

🟡 It was really funny. 

🟡 Ok, no it wasn't. D-16 could've imagined anything else happening during the cycle, anything but something falling on top of his head while he was taking a stroll around Iacon. 

🟡 It was a weird…mini-bot thingy that looked unordinary. If D-16 had to describe you in a few words, it would be tiny, small, and helpless. 

But…the way your optics online as you took in your surroundings and your big, wide optics stared into his own awoke some protective instinct within him. So, he carefully tucked you in his arms and hurried back to the mines. 

Early dynamics 

🟡 D-16 treated you like you were made out of glass, it didn't help that the dust and other particles around the mines made your systems irritated to the point of crying. 

🟡 Oh Primus, the first time you wailed loudly, every bot starred in his direction as the noises shrieking from his chassis area increased. D-16 had to quickly excuse himself to the showers and hide in there with you to shush you. 

🟡 Overtime, D-16 learned how to tend to your needs and taking care of you became easier with each passing deca-cycle. 

Current Dynamics 

🟡 Who knew a little bot like you who ate little, chirp, scream a bit,  slept a lot, and couldn't walk would be easy to take care of. 

🟡 Oh man, once you've grown enough to stand on your own two pedes, things get harder for D-16 as he now has to keep a closer optic on you at all times. 

🟡 You had a knack for getting into places you shouldn't be in and D-16's spark nearly stopped when he caught you trying to sneak inside of a mining shaft. You were scolded, of course, but that didn't stop you from trying again.

🟡 As tiring as it is to watch over you, D-16 felt it was worth it if it meant seeing your bright smile each time. 

Uncle Pax 

🟡 Ok, so. Remember the incident when D-16 first brought you in? Well, Orion wasn't too far on D-16's tailpipe. When he saw what his best friend brought into the showers, he was…excited?

🟡 "Why are you smiling so-" 

🟡 "Do you realize what you have in your servos right now?! That's a sparkling!" 

🟡 "????"

🟡 "Dude, I read about them and they-" 

🟡 Orion goes into detail about the records he's skimmed about tiny cybertronians who were referred to as sparklings. 

🟡 The old records hypothesize that they were an alternative way to produce bots in large quantities, there were downsides to this method since the bots that came out were…not up to par with being on their own unless someone cared for them. 

🟡 There's a theory that the method was abandoned due to how much time it takes for these sparklings to grow and be a part of society. No one has seen a sparkling since, and those that already grew up from being sparklings are a scarce number. 

🟡 To say Orion was siked that D-16 practically held a living relic in his servos was an understatement, he even proposed to take over caring for the sparkling as their 'sire.' A term, D-16 later learned was the role given to bots who created a close, familial bond with these sparklings. 

🟡 D-16, for some reason, decided to decline Orion's offer but allowed him to help whenever he could 

🟡 And help Orion did. Much to D-16's displeasure of his friend encouraging his sparkling to get into trouble.

🟡 Heading off into the archives together became a pastime for you two. 

🟡 Even if your sire got mad when your uncle almost got caught by the high guards, it was fun clinging to his back as he jumped through hoops to get away from them.

🟡 Keeping you hidden from others was important, but your uncle adding a bit of fun in your life made it bearable when you were kept away from the light of day. 

Affection? 

🟡 D-16 and you will sometimes butt helms as a form of affection, especially after a petty spat.

🟡 Hugs are on the table and D-16 loves embarrassing you with a bear hug, might even make kissy faces until you squeal and pull yourself out of his arms

🟡 All and all, D-16 has physical touch as a love language (helm pats, arm rubs, scooping you up and throwing you in the air, etc). 

Arguments? 

🟡 Speaking of keeping you hidden, you couldn't understand why your sire didn't want others to see you

🟡 You did nothing wrong, but your sire was having none of it.

🟡 "Do you want to be taken away from me and Pax?" 

🟡 Same old excuse did nothing to stop you from sneaking out at night and exploring the streets of Iacon

🟡 Trying to sneak back in was the harder part, because D-16 would already notice your absence and panic. You always have an earful waiting for you when you get back home.

 

🟡🟡🟡 Drabble 1: Bundle of Joy 🟡🟡🟡

"Alright! Time to switch with the night crew, make way everybody!" The command from the captain of the mining crew felt like a blessing. Orion wiped the coolant from his forehelm and glanced around the area, making sure that no one was watching–he made his way towards the exit while every bot spoke among each other. 

Up ahead, a familiar jaundice-eyed mech approaching with something behind his back. 

As the two near each other, a single nod was exchanged before the bundle in D-16's servo was passed off to Orion.

Orion continued walking out of the mines until he reached a safe distance to unwrap the bundle and cooed as your bright (o/c)'s came into view. He wiggled a digit in your face and couldn't stop the smile growing on his dermas as you grasped his digit and giggled. 

"Come on, we have a berth time story with our designations on it."

Orion carefully tucked you in his arm and walked toward the shared quarters. 

  

🟡🟡🟡Drabble 2: Goodbye, for now. 🟡🟡🟡

"Oh? What's this…or rather, who?" 

You shrieked as you were plucked from behind your sire's knelt form. 

"No-! Let them go!" D-16 was quick to lunge for Sentinel and was knocked back by the guards and their weapons. 

"Ah ha! So this was the little relic I've been hearing so much about?" Sentinel held you up by the back of your neck cables and rotated you like some sort of spectacle."I remember when you guys existed, a shame I'll have no use for you, but my wall is missing a new mount…" 

"You monster!" B-127 shouted as he attempted to stand but was also shoved to the ground by a weapon. 

Sentinel was about to say some witty remark when a large shadow pounced on him. Chaos erupted as D-16 tackled the false Prime and began raining his fists on Sentinel. The guards all came to Sentinel's aid, which gave Bee enough time to break free, slice down a guard that tried taking you and scooped you up from the ground. 

"Hey little dude, everything's ok, ok-?" Bee bounced you in his arms as the tears on your face continued forming at the edge of your optics. Where was your sire? 

A loud crash caught your and Bee's attention as the two whipped helms as a large hole appeared in the wall of Sentinel's office. Your sire and Sentinel were nowhere to be found. 

"Ok…let's go help Dee!" Bee glanced around the damaged space before running out.

Everything happened way too fast for your little processor to make anything make sense. In one second, your sire's friend—and practically your secondary sire—was falling in a hole, then your sire…did something bad but B-127 covered your optics before you could see what happened, and then you were carried toward the dome's roof staring at the unfamiliar mech before you.

"Go…Take the high guard and leave, you are banished from Iacon." Optimus Prime paused, his optics flickering toward the trio slowly approaching. Elita-1, B-127, and…you. 

"It didn't have to end this way," Optimus returned his gaze to his former friend. 

"...this isn't over, Prime." Megatron seethed. 

The two momentarily paused as your small voice called out to your sire. Megatron's optics dimmed as he lowered his helm, a tense silence followed before Megatron finally raised his helm and spoke, "Keep the liability with you, I don't have room for any weaknesses. Not anymore." 

"..." Optimus Prime refused to speak, fearing that his voice would've matched the growing pain in his spark. 

Megatron huffed before limping away and commanding the high guard to follow him. 

B-127 grunted as you wiggled and trashed in his hold, trying to get to your sire and-

Your teary gaze watched in shock as your sire, your only family, your world up and left you behind. Your fans kicked in as you lost the ability to breathe, your vision grew blurry as the wails in your intake were stomped by the lump causing a croaked sob to leave you. 

You buried your faceplate in the B-127's chassis. 

B-127 and Elita-1 shared a glance, one twisted with pain for the crying sparkling and the other hesitation. B-127 turned to look at the new Prime and found he had already made his way over and reached for you. 

B-127 handed you off to the larger mech and Optimus rubbed your back, shushing and whispering comforting words in your audial. 

"We…have a lot of work to do, for now, we all deserve a rest." Optimus murmured to the other two. Elita-1 already understood Optimus's hidden intention and took charge as she directed her attention to the awaiting crowd of bots. 

B-127 glanced between Elita-1 and Optimus before joining Elita. Optimus turned his attention to you.

"Do not worry, little one, I'm here." Optimus reassured. "I will not leave you, not now, not ever." 

"...promise?" 

Optimus smiled for the first time since he came back from being offline. 

"I promise." 

😼 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. like my writing? consider buying me a kofi :)

banner(s) by @kodaswrld !!

[lukweer]

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

[sphireath-wisp]

Hi! Idk if this is weird to ask but can you do the monster trio + Usopp, law and shanks with a Mexican!Reader that starts to yell at them in Spanish? I think yk what i mean but other wise it’s fine <3 ty!

Sypnosis -> The ask above! I will be removing Shanks though because I have a limit of 5 people per request!!

Author's notes -> AAA MY FIRST ASK??? AND WHEN I WAS BUSY??? I'M SO HAPPY!! First off, I would like to apologize for getting to this ask super late since I was really busy for the past week and had no time to write. Thank you for your patience!! (You didn't say this was x reader, so I won't write it as such)

Warnings -> Probably inaccurate Google translations, not proofread, following EddieVR's way of speaking (I'm trying to follow an actual Spanish speaker's way and tone so that I can be as accurate as possible), vulgar language because the reader is yelling (so I assume they're upset/angry), Reader could be perceived as rude

Featuring -> Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ussop, Law

Luffy

You can't believe the disaster of a crew you've joined so spontaneously. With a captain that gives that poor cook a workout to feed him 3 meals a day (maybe even more than that), you feel grateful that he's the one cooking because of the delicacy and care he puts into his meals.

Though, not even the best cooks can perform magic. Without ingredients, a chef is left with nothing but utensils to serve. It gave you a shock when you realized how fast Sanji had already ran out of ingredients.

"¡Nunca duraremos en el mar contigo, idiota sin cerebro! La comida está prácticamente terminada. (We'll never last at sea with you, you brainless idiot! The food is practically finished.)" You sigh.

Luffy is... dumbfounded. He just stares at you, scratches the top of his head, then tilts his head with an innocent gleam in his eyes - oblivious to what you're sputtering. If anything, he finds it sort of amusing to see you this upset.

He's heard from the crew about the depth of your culture and home country before - boy, he misses the mouthwatering food there just thinking about it.

You shake your head, aware that your chidings aren't getting through to him. Plus, you got so upset you started scolding him in a whole different language. "Sanji! Would you limit Luffy's meals-"

And suddenly Luffy listening to you (despite the incessant complaining in between).

Zoro

"Ouchouchouch, what the hell?" Zoro grits his teeth at you after you pinched his ear, dragging him behind the crates and preventing him from attacking the marines in front of you.

"Don't just go up there! What are you thinking?" You suddenly spot flashlights illuminating the dark corner the both of you were jammed into and immediately rush over to another hiding place. Letting go of Zoro's ear, you could only pray that he had enough sense in him to follow you instead of trusting any predatory instinct he had in him.

Nami trusted you with this mission! You had to sneak in quietly and-

"It's Roronoa Zoro! Call for backup!"

Great! Another problem. Snaking your hands around him, you grab onto his shirt, smiling gently for just a moment. There weren't many options and it was only the two of you in a base full of marines - it would be waste of time to defeat them all and the injuries afterward would be nothing but troublesome.

"You know what this means, ¡corre por tu maldita vida! (run for your damn life!)" Not looking back for a single moment, you bang into almost everything blocking your way with Zoro being dragged along behind you. Luckily for you, he works as a great meatshield - fending off all the enemies that get too close for comfort!

Zoro had no idea what language you were speaking, but he could tell just how furious you were just by how much you continued to ramble while sprinting into enemy territory. Just by how you sound, he could tell that you probably weren't saying the nicest things about him...

(He'll learn from you so that he can use them against Sanji)

Sanji

Just like how he hears the tears of heartbroken women falling to the ground, he can listen to the exhausted sighs of the women on board. Every time Nami and Robin are having a hard time, Sanji makes it his first priority to help them.

Of course, his enthusiasm to assist these "poor, helpless" women are appreciated - but his tendency to go all out and beyond makes his efforts... overbearing.

"Special drinks for the two lovely Mademoiselles," Sanji's voice deepens, coaxing his words with a dash of honey in hopes of wooing Robin and Nami. The gentle clack of a cup being placed next to your hand suddenly alerts you, "And one for (Name),"

You thank him along with Nami and Robin, sipping the sweet cider-like concoction in your glass as your eyes drift back to the book in your hand.

"Is there anything else I could help you with?" You couldn't see what Sanji was doing, but you could already picture that infatuated grin on his face.

Despite the three of you already insisting that there's no need, Sanji still lingers around you. Like a moth to a fiery flame, Sanji buzzes around the two women - leaving them with no moment of peace.

"¿Puedes callarte y aprender a cerrar la boca? (Can you shut up and learn how to zip your mouth?)" You yell, slamming the book shut. You continue to scream - even Chopper and the others begin to hold you back from reaching Sanji.

"Do you get the feeling that they're mad at Sanji?" Luffy sits on a railing and ponders. "No shit, Sherlock." Zoro retorts.

Ussop

At first, when you didn't know Ussop well enough, you were unaware of his tendency to lie his way out of sticky situations. From his title as "God Ussop" alone, you would assume he's quite powerful, no?

You once overheard his boasting to those oblivious to his actual abilities. You don't think of Ussop as weak, far from it. His talent as a sniper is unlike no other and deserved to be praised. However, exaggerations would only bring in more and more trouble. Not to mention the misconceptions!

You weren't really sure whether his exceptional ability to lie was a blessing or a curse.

"I've carried a 100-ton hammer before as well!" Ussop folds his arms, holding his head up high in pride. The wows and impressed gazes from the kids only made him exaggerate more.

You sigh, leaning against the wall and wondering why pirates like you and Ussop are suddenly babysitting kids now. You ran into daycare to avoid getting spotted by marines, but the children there ended up assuming that the both of you are new caretakers,

You did nudge him a few times, reminding him about how the crew is probably waiting for the both of you the get back on the Sunny. Though, your words probably fell on deaf ears.

"Ussop! Ussop! If you and (Name) were to fight, who would win?" The question piqued your curiosity and the ends of your lips curve upwards, "Well, that would be-"

"Me, of course!" Ussop interrupts your sentence before it was finished. The kids gasp in awe as you snap your head to Ussop, glaring at him.

"(Name) must not be that good of a fighter..." You hear a soft murmur through the whispers in the crowd.

"Oye, imbécil, ¿de quién crees que estás hablando? (Hey dumbass, who do you think you're talking about?)" Grabbing a hold of the collar of Ussop's shirt, you drag him out without any explanation as he tries to talk you out of this.

"Do you think they're going to eat?" One kid asks, "Yeah, maybe they got hungry." Another replies.

Law

"You're not going to try the capirotada (Mexican bread pudding)? The rest of the crew seems to have taken a liking to it." You hum to yourself before being interrupted by a loud sigh.

"You know I don't like bread, (Name)-ya," You didn't bother to turn around and see the frown on his face, but it's fine - you were completely okay with his opinion.

"You're really not open to trying new things, huh?" You sarcastically jest, "The crew might ask me to make this again, you know. The smell of bread is going to haunt you in your sleep."

"(Name)! Seconds please!" Bepo barges in with a giant plate in his hand, "The others want more too!" Bepo rushes to your side, placing the plate on the counter for you. "Captain, you're really not going to try this... what is called again?"

"Capirotada, learn how to pronounce and drill it into your brain, then I'll make this for the crew again." Your back was still turned to the both of them, but you could still hear the soft groans from your captain.

"Capirotada! It's really good," Bepo insisted - which did bring a smile to your face. He grabbed a plate of the bread pudding, shoving it right into Law's face as Law pinched his nose.

Law took a step back, but eventually sighed and picked up a fork. "No more bread for another month after this, alright?" Law poked his fork into the pudding, sliding it around the plate as if he was reluctant to even pick it up.

Finally, he ate it.

"So? Isn't it great?" Bepo asked. Law slowly chewed the pudding, his features contorting into surprise, a bit of satisfaction, then disgust. "Yeah, I'll take that as a no." You chuckled at his expression.

"(Name), I don't think it's the bread... I think it's your cooking." Law covered his mouth, implying that he was going to vomit, hiding his laughter.

"diez, nueve, ocho... (ten, nine, eight...)" You slowly turned around. Unluckily for Law, you had happened to just buy a new set of knives recently known for their effective and quick chopping! "W-we should really go now, captain! It was really super duper nice seeing you, (Name)!"

"tres, dos, uno. Captain, ¡Espero que hayas dicho tus oraciones! (three, two, one. Captain, I hope you said your prayers!)"

[ambreiiigns]

Ok spit it out, what's with these doubleblack yaoi boys you've been posting. um spill? don't worry about spoilers, i don't want to watch anime i just want to know

doubleblack yaoi boys. ok so first of all sorry for answering Days later i hope u still see this i'm so sorry i don't even know how to explain myself i don't remember what i've been doing. yesterday i was watching a bunch of friday the 13th movies but besides that i have no excuses. secondly i love the energy bc this is exactly how i ended up watching bsd i just cared about them a lot and learned everything i could until i decided i got this far i might as well just watch the damn thing. and i will say w the experience i have. it's not worth it babe just look at them they're the best part you're not missing out. anyway. i don't KNOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY UMMMMM the source material is this thing called bungo stray dogs it Is funny bc they decided the way to go abt this was make anime boys out of famous authors and like put half of them in the mafia so you have to sit there and nod when they call edgar allan poe a famous criminal or whatever. like 👍 and then they have powers based on one of their most famous books or whatever. and they're faggy. you will have to see people talk abt fyodor dostoevsky getting hole.

but besides all the Sillies. the doubleblack boys you ask about have genuinely honest to fucking god become like. one of my favorite pairing like. thematically or whatever. their dynamic is insane they are so cool. uhhhh hang on i'm embarassed let me hide

idk they're. they meet at 15 years of age teenagers by my chemical romance blasting. dazai is a member of the local /mafia/ and he's like a pathetic wet cat. he's sad and weird. he feels bored w life and finds it to be, frankly, Not Worth It so he's like passively suicidal but he won't straight up DO IT bc he doesn't like to be in pain bc he's a little baby. he joined the mafia thinking that maybe if he exposes himself to death and violence he'll change his mind but it hasn't worked yet it just made him Fucked Up. his special ability is called no longer human and he can switch off anyone's powers by touching them and it kinda gives him brainworms (will elaborate later). he's the one w the dark hair and wrapped in bandages and the most beautiful boy in the world. chuuya is a street punk baby gang (they're called The Sheep. smh) member ajfjakfiisg he Hates the mafia Hates authority is so so loyal to his little friends and he seems to be just Amiable and likable cause everyone's immediately fond of him to some extent and he's always surrounded by friends or making small talk. and he's like so fuckin bold and brave and arrogant cause he's got according to the author Thee strongest powers in this universe so he never has to like. stop and think. his ability is called upon the tainted sorrow and controls gravity. he's so kickass and liddol. he only fights using his liddol leggies to kinda rein himself in. he's got the red hair and always wears a choker bc he's so sexy and not like other girls.

so they meet bc chuuya's gang has been getting Big thanks to his powers to the point where the mafia's concerned and also they're investigating on some rumors abt arahabaki which is like an old god. chuuya gets dragged to the mafia hq, ends up having to work w dazai to solve this arahabaki stuff, and they. boohoo they DON'T like each other they DON'T wanna work together >:((( they're little enemies to ????? but the thing is To Me they don't even. hate each other that much. like they clash personality-wise sure and they get on each other's nerves on purpose Sure but also they're kids. it's not that big of a deal. they still take time to play arcade games together and make stupid bets during their mission. they're so endearing actually. anyway the catch Is. that arahabaki is actually this thing called a singularity which is when you put together two abilities that have kinda opposite effects and the Government had been doing experiments to create that power so they can use it and CHUUYA's one of the experiments wahh!!! the result is that chuuya has Another cool power called corruption where he just goes batshit and like throws black holes around and stuff and he's unstoppable but the catch is that once he activates this power he can't stop it he just has to wait until it consumes him and he Dies. here's where dazai's nullification ability comes in. more on that later. (it's as if they can only truly Work together. it's as if they were made to be together. haha 🤪) a member of the mafia (Arthur Rimbaud) reveals that he was There when chuuya blew up bc he actually wanted to keep chuuya as a little meat puppet and use that power for himself and YET! even after hearing this! chuuya gets attached to him. like yea the two of them kill him (through the power of Holding Hands mind you) but then he visits his grave and shit. bc this was the first person to tell chuuya that he's human. coming from a place of having seen first hand what makes him feel like he isn't. so he cherishes that a lot. after that the sheep Betray chuuya after some Dazai Manipulation Of Everyone™ bc he does that yk he's a little shithead he's a little evil. BUT he kinda had good intentions bc he's Clever and Observant and noticed so easily how much the sheep were using chuuya for his abilities and he has a Thing where he doesn't. love people using chuuya like that. so he wanted to cut him out of the gang and have him join the mafia with Hiiiiim instead :) and chuuya's mad at him. cause he still took his friends away from him.

but he does join the mafia he Does kinda like it there and him and dazai are assigned to be full time Partners and they get the nickname soukoku, or double black, The Most Feared Duo in the city, thanks to their little corruption-no longer human trick that just wipes out any enemy like it's nothing. then they uhh there's a bit where chuuya is like actually pissed of at dazai unironically for Once and dazai's so mopey that he actually like behaves like a good person so chuuya forgives him. my girl is mad at me i hope i die fr. i'm not familiar enough w this Piece of Lore so i can't elaborate further but like i'm obsessed w it.

anyway THEN jump to when they're about 18 dazai makes another friend named oda who like. sure he's soul-tied to chuuya forever but oda (and Another guy who i don't even wanna Think about) are the only people he'd Call friends. (also they're like a few years older than dazai and i'm Obsessed w the fact that he's such a miserable weirdo that the only people besides chuuya that he can make genuine friends with are some. adults.) and then oda DIES and the fault lies both in the mafia and the third friend and his final words are something about how he wishes he could have gotten out of the mafia to be a good person and he hopes dazai gets to do that. and it kinda Shapes the rest of dazai's life. he switches his perspective around and decides that if exposing himself to death and violence didn't Fix him maybe now he can try being Nice and Helping People and maybe that will make him feel like it's worth being alive. so he disappears from the mafia and a while later joins a local detective agency which is where we find him when the story actually starts. the night he leaves chuuya gets drunk. because he's soo happy. (i think he lied. abt being happy)

the first time chuuya and dazai meet again after this is in some fuckin Dungeon and dazai's chained to the wall and chuuya says it looks Hot and then they talk shit and bicker until they end up collaborating and chuuya lets him go (aka dazai talks his way out of it) and then they pull some fucking cringy ass Joke and they Laugh abt it and it's like. oh wow they're still the same. after all this time apart. we're still Like That and we haven't changed. :) after That they reunite in an episode named after them where they have to babysit some creepy enby kid w a spooky evil doll and fight H. P. Lovecraft during which chuuya has to use corruption and it's Glorious. it had been said that dazai is like speechless and completely fascinated by chuuya when he uses corruption. lol.

then there's the fucking MOVIE. oh my GOD. the main thing w them from the movie is. oh man. dazai 1. joins the Bad Guys but actually he's just Infiltrating to Defeat Them From Within 2. gets found out bc he's not that smooth and stabbed w a poisoned knife 3. gets trapped in a fuckin Dragon or smth and is realistically and understandably presumed dead. and then chuuya gets called in to kill this Dragon (i will not give more context on the Dragon bc i for one just barely understand what the hell is going on) and the only choice is to use corruption even tho he gets advised to not do that since dazai's probably dead and without him chuuya WILL die too. but he's like nah no way. that cockroach would NEVER die. (i trust him) so he uses corruption smashes the dragon to bits and even in the fucking. fugue state that he gets into. he spots dazai manages to recognize him calls out his name and fucking. punches him in the face. making him swallow some antidote he had hidden in his mouth all along. bc somehow dazai ALWAYS knows (remember he's clever) and he's ALWAYS one step ahead. but chuuya always knows HIM. they hadn't discussed this they just. trusted each other to have their back no matter what. dazai trusted chuuya to make him take the antidote and chuuya trusted dazai to snap him out of corruption even when it made no sense. it's about the TRUST!!! like yea no matter the circumstances the relationships the affiliations. this is him. he's got me. hey. of course. this is insane. chuuya punches him. technically upon contact corruption is now switched off. and then dazai reaches up to touch his cheek so softly. and says "you used corruption believing in me? how beautiful" people died tbh. oh you used your super insane deadly powers? even if as far as you were concerned i was as good as dead? you trust me that much? and You trust me enough to sit around this whole movie w a pill in your teeth knowing i'd make you swallow it just at the right moment? how did he even KNOW they're so insane. (then chuuya says "yeah i believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness" and dazai answers "that was a somewhat violent way of waking snow white" shut the fuck up tbh) this is the highest moment. i will be forever insane. and then dazai like shoved chuuya's head in his crotch but i don't fucking CARE STOP BEING HORNY

and then we get to the latest season and chapters. oh man. ok so. dazai's in superjail w his actual archnemesis Fyodor Dostoevsky. people are becoming vampires. stick w me. fyodor brings chuuya Into superjail to help him kill dazai. chuuya is now a vampire and YES he is serving cunt. dazai almost drowns fyodor and chuuya to death and does a sad gay little speech abt how it's sad that it had to end this way and "there were moments where our hearts reached out to each other" girl WHAT???? "like…" and he THINKS abt them doing the corruption trick and holding hands to defeat rimbaud and just Existing next to each other BUT WHAT HE SAYS IS NOTHING. he just waves it off like he ~actually~ can't think of anything bc he doesn't even care haha bye die!! he is so PATHETIC. he is so if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more -core tbh. he's such a liar. and THEN fyodor has chuuya shoot him in the head. lol. and what dazai has to say about THIS is like oooo maybe if i say something sweet chuuya will come back to normal. and so he says "chuuya our fate will not end in a place like this because you and i are destined to" and then he gets SHOT. IN THE HEAD!!! AND I LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!! personally this was very "you know i… i…" "i don't know" "but he knew well enough" book reddie of them to be h. anyway. dazai's not dead. and you know what's funnier. chuuya was never even a vampire. he put on fake teeth and contacts and Lied. Pretended. Successfully. to like one of the smartest characters in this universe. hello. now i don't KNOW if i'm meant to read this as in it was always planned or if chuuya had this plan and dazai had to catch up w it like i don't know at what point does dazai know that chuuya was faking it. any theory on this is Hilarious to me. but he said the corniest shit to this man's face. good lird. yk before this season people argued that it was chuuya who cared abt dazai more and i can understand where you'd get that from considering how cold and distant and Fake dazai is (you'd be wrong and stupid) but like i feel like after this dazai's lookin pretty down bad ngl. i don't think there's any imbalance between them but if i had to pick. yk. anyway. chuuya Did actually shoot him but then he used his gravity powers to slow the bullet down Inside of the gun so that it wouldn't kill him and fyodor wouldn't see it. and dazai's like. oh yeah this trick? this little game? we used to do this all the time :) HELLO!!!!!! obsessed w THEM!!!! THEY FUCKED AROUND LIKE THIS? OF COURSE THEY DID. i KNOW they sat around age 16 and crafted the most RIDICULOUS convoluted plans Just In Case and then they give them little code names that they STILL remember YEARS after their partnership fucking ENDED this was insane. and then just walk it off? THEY ARE UNPARALLELED. PERIODT.

so. the girls who don't get it will say they hate each other or whatever. me personally i think it's bullshit. i think they just have That type of vibe. obviously they care. obviously they trust each other more than anyone else w everything they have at all times. and maybe they just also find each other fucking annoying and that's All. when they're 15 dazai finds him obnoxious bc he's too impulsive and never bothers to strategize bc he can rely on his powers being soooo fuckin strong and that's All. i think he's just jealous bc he wishes he could be as lazy as chuuya can afford to be. like he has lichrally Nothing to hate chuuya for he's perfect. chuuya on the other hand,,, besides just personality differences where he finds dazai depressing and offputting JAJDJAKFKAKG like dazai takes his friends away from him. his family the only place he feels he belongs to. i get being mad at dazai after that. but not even for long bc he ends up liking the mafia more anyway and agrees w dazai that the sheep were trash to him so what's left. i don't KNOW if dazai ever commits other significant crimes to him like 😭😭 don't get me wrong he might. i mean it when i say he's kinda evil. he might have done some other shit and i'm forgetting. but i don't think there's anything major that causes genuine hate. the closest thing i can imagine is that dazai, again, dragged him away from his friends, into the mafia, and then leaves him there alone. chuuya's loyal to a fault and can't stand betrayal so i'm sure he's pissed. but dazai also says at some point (not to him ofc) that he regrets not bringing chuuya w him when he left the mafia. sigh. so i think it's just mostly silly bickering.

on a Deeper sense i have some Thoughts abt. ugh. i sort of briefly mentioned that chuuya has some issues w feeling human, and dazai has some issues w his ability (no longer human) and like. besides the trust. this is becoming my favorite thing abt them. at their Core they have the same Thing they just go abt it in the opposite way. neither of them feels like a real human being. chuuya has this very artificial power inside of him so strong that it has a will of its own and dazai has a power that deletes if momentarily other powers. they're both a fuckin. affront to nature in their own ways. and when dazai doesn't feel human he just responds w apathy and like whatever ok i'm not then i wanna die and get it over with what's the point. but when CHUUYA doesn't feel human he's fuckin upset abt it and he wants to idk fight to be human anyway and prove himself wrong. and i feel like. they meet and chuuya sees this perfectly human boy who doesn't appreciate having what he's always struggling for. and dazai sees someone who's justified in feeling separated from humanity and yet he wants to force himself into it ? like man i WISH i had an excuse for feeling like this. and chuuya's like man i wish i hadn't had anything done to me that makes me feel like this. and so they're like,,, so fundamentally mad at each other but then they're also the only other bitch they know w this specific problem so even if they go abt it so differently there's comfort there too that they can't get anywhere else like. they are functionally stuck together bc who else is ever gonna Get It. and chuuya always wants proof that he's just as human as anyone else but then dazai !! he knows perfectly well !!! that chuuya IS like def more human than he'll ever be at the very least bc he knows !! better than chuuya ever will !! what it's actually like to be separated from humanity !! and dazai sees all this passion and energy into this little guy and like how could you ever doubt how could you ever wonder. what else would all this come from if you're not human. i don't even have an ounce of this and technically i Am human so what. dazai takes HIMSELF out of humanity chuuya was TAKEN out of it. and then their power. the fact that dazai's powers that he doesn't even like actively take away what makes chuuya feel less human ?!! there is some kind of mutual aid going on. dazai's ability CAN'T be that bad if it's at least fixing chuuya and it's in fact the ONLY thing that can save chuuya's life. and the irony of it being called no longer human when it does the opposite for chuuya. they're the only thing that sort of justifies themselves to Themselves. the place where the inherent anger for each other comes from is also where the inherent trust comes from. so even if they piss each other off and even if they'd never admit to any positive feelings like they'd do for their other friends they're just. tied. red string or whatever. i think the reason why they Keep finding their way to each other even when they work for enemy factions is Well They Have No Choice for better or worse they'll always be stuck together ! for worse probably. i don't think they're thrilled by that. but no one else is ever gonna Get Me like this bitch !!! so we're sticking together. can you believe i'm chuuya nakahara and the only time i can use the full extent of my powers is when This Guy is around. i can never be 100% myself w anyone else. and can you believe i'm osamu dazai and the only time that i feel like my powers aren't an offense to nature itself is when i use them to keep This Guy from blowing up. so my Burden isn't that bad it's actually Good sometimes. probably just for him but that will do. they're like i can never use all of my powers/i can never use my powers in a way that makes me feel ok except when he's involved. no they're fucking insane tbh it's fascinating.

dazai SAYS MULTIPLE TIMES that he thinks abt chuuya every moment of every day (specifically on how to piss him off but Still) (it's their love language) dazai stopped wishing he could die when he was 15 bc he met chuuya and he was the only exciting surprising thing that he'd seen so far and he wanted to stay alive to figure him out. chuuya keeps using corruption over and over and he puts his life in dazai's hands over and over and he never misses. dazai's the only one who's immune to chuuya - his stupidly strong powers sure but also his stupidly strong physical combat skills bc he knows him well enough to dodge. chuuya's the only one who can understand where dazai's going w his plans and meet him there. dazai calls him slug and chuuya calls him mackerel. once someone close to chuuya saw them stand side by side and said they were surprisingly perfect together. you know. so on so forth. do you Get It

also they're like in love and fucking i guess but that's collateral. i'm not gonna pretend to be strictly intellectual abt them. yas we ship them in a silly sexy way. but also they're incredibly fascinating just the way they are in the text. yk what i mean ?

here look at them as a treat. manga collage in chronological order anime reunion and official art for the movy. what on earth i say

[bettermiya]

Hellooo if it's okay id like to request a haikyuu matchup pls- (don't mind my awkward communication skills btw)

General stuff

Im female (she/her), 17 years old, relatively short (160cm, idk what that is in feet Im European :,)) maybe 5'3??)), my parents are from West Asia (Turkey) but I was born in a german speaking country so somehow i can speak 6 languages now-

Personality

One will realize pretty fast that I am in fact not normal lmao- i'm a bit weird but i'm living for it. I'd describe myself as rather introverted though I'm not shy or timid. I just like to relax and take things slow. I'm pretty easy to talk to if I do say so myself and laid-back as well. I'm also funny apparently (my friend's opinion. Lazy too but we don't talk about that HA-)

Interests/Hobbies

If you couldn't already tell by my ability to speak a lot of languages I am really interested in them. I love to learn new stuff and expand my knowledge in general- I also LOVE listening to music (my earphones are my bebes) and sometimes drawing is pretty tempting as well. Idk why but designing/ decorating is something I tend to enjoy doing even though I don't realize it. Gardening is also a hobby of mine.

Just a few more smaller facts- My love language is quality time and I'm not overly experienced when it comes to relationships. I tend to be drawn to ppl that are open and know what they want. Confidence and loyalty are a big factor.

Thank you in case my request gets accepted <33 bye byeee~

Tsukishima Kei is surprised that he would be fascinated with you!

He's not an easy guy. The type who would retaliate with a sharp tongue before letting anyone in, but you've managed to get past his defenses. It's a combination of not pushing his limits and having the intellect to study languages, which is such a difficult subject. Tsukishima is a person who relentlessly pursues knowledge even if he hides it under such a cool façade. If he discovers that you, as unassuming as you are, can assist him in some way? Even his pride cannot keep him from asking for your assistance while his eyes are downcast, and he tugs at his fingers.

Why not? His demands are straightforward and specific. You start assisting him with his request, but you never expected to catch so much attention for it. You're beginning to see that other girls are drawn to Tsukishima by his good looks without knowing about the twisted personality hidden beneath. His interactions with Hinata and Kageyama, two of his volleyball club teammates, demonstrate his cruelty. A sharp word. A biting laugh. A taunt. Tentatively, you asked him about his personality, and he answers:

( “What gives me the right to be cruel to you? You haven't done anything, and you're helping me.” It could be a trick of the light, but he appears to be blushing into the crook of his arm.  )

His meanness, however, is directed at anyone who might criticize you. Those girls' attentions turn negative. He can easily exploit each of their insecurities. This one is far too ugly, this one is far too stupid, and this one is far too pathetic. It doesn’t matter where in the social hierarchy they are because Tsukishima is an ever-loyal attack dog. He’ll take all the heat if it means they’ll leave you alone.

One day, a girl who used to blush pretty when he was close had splashed water in his face. He didn't even blink. You dragged him to the back of the gymnasium and asked Tsukishima why he was willing to go so far for you.

This is too much.

( “You're a moron. I thought you were smarter than this… Why would someone be so protective? Because they like the other person.” )

[yanban-san]

OOUGUGH OK LSITEN. lsietn. sltien. i see ingo being a pile of goo and i raise u; kissin' his scale bc hes all melty and while its not impossible to kiss water/goo, the scales already on hand and it'd be sweet in a way and he just... gurgles? idk what the bass boosting of a puddle of water would be but tldr please consider kissing ingos scale while he's all goo'd™. also something something emmet always being on darlings mind and ingo always being in readers heart with their stuff placements, idk but you get the point hopefully hjgkmsd - feather anon

jafhsg yes

Darling is gushing about how sweet and cute and precious Ingo is to him in private and Ingo can't handle it- It's too sweet to hear from you how much you love him, how special he is to you- He's murmuring an apology while he hides behind the brim of his hat, and you can feel a sensation like little shadows crawling up your legs and arms- and you ask him why's he apologizing? He's too sweet not to want to compliment and adore constantly- and you start telling Ingo all the romantic little things you want to do with him and he can't handle it and all of a sudden your boyfriend is gone and there's a shadowy mess on the floor, extending out and beginning to pool around the room-

You're annoyed because now you can't kiss your boyfriend who you just spent so long turning into a blushy (and apparently literally) pool ready to be ravished by you- And you try to stroke the darkness only for your hand to fall into it-

Well you certainly can't kiss a void. And you hear a whispering I'm so sorry I'll - I'll return to normal in a minute echoing in your ear, but-

You get an idea.

You take out the scale you've kept in your breast pocket ever since you learned what it was- and you give it a kiss- And the shadow lets out a whine- writhing, bubbling, twitching at every little smooch you give the scale-

And you keep kissing it, stroking it gently and the shadows are going nuts and you feel them grabbing at you, and the pool of darkness suddenly shifts and you're about to be swallowed up in a void when Ingo manages to force himself back into a human form, but he's shaking and you can see he's got weird scaly marks on his face and an extra set of limbs and his coat is a writhing mass of shadows, He's glaring at you and the silvery bits of his eyes are emitting a soft light but his pupils look as dark as the void beneath him and he's blushing so heavily, begging you not to do that again because he almost swallowed you up in the void there, but then also asking you to please continue and he'll do his best to stay as a human this time-

Also before darling knows what the scale is or about The Truth(tm)

Darling can't help but take it out sometimes to stroke it, trace her fingers along the grooves-

And even when Ingo can't see it, he can still feel those loving touches tracing along his back and he keeps melting into a puddle of shadows-

It's a problem when he's on the Single Train trying to hold a battle with Random Challenger #42 and they notice... the inside of Ingo's coat suddenly turns pitch black, and looks almost waaay darker than should be possible- Or he stumbles and did Ingo's foot just fall through the floor of the subway-

And yes With Emmet's feather on her cap, Darling finds her thoughts drift towards Emmet so frequently- But whenever she sees Ingo she suddenly becomes oddly aware of how intensely her heart is beating- and aakajfhajshf

Feather anon I love your ideas so much you don't even know-

[itsbenedict]

Earlier I started posting about the games I played this year, and now here's the rest of them!

Rogue Legacy 2

This one's still in early access, but I've seen most of what it has to offer so far. If you played the first Rogue Legacy, it's more of that- bigger, with more classes and spells and locations, and a new Relics system that gives a little bit of upgrade progression-type stuff to each run. I like it!

If you haven't played the first Rogue Legacy- it's a roguelite platformer! You go through a spooky castle fighting enemies and also smashing every single piece of furniture you see just in case gold coins are hiding inside. When you die, your descendant picks up where you left off, and can use your inherited gold coins to buy upgrades and unlock more stuff. Also, this time it appears to have a story! The ending's not in yet, but it's reasonably interesting so far.

Psycholonials

Jegus fucking christ. What a thing this was! It sure... was a thing!

If you don't know, Psycholonials is a visual novel created by Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck- the first properly non-Homestuck thing he's done in ages. I was excited to find out what he'd been sitting on for so long, and...

Uh. How do I describe Psycholonials? It's... it escalates. It does the thing Homestuck and Problem Sleuth do where it starts out simple, and then sort of unfolds fractally into this insane clusterfuck that's constantly upping the stakes and getting increasingly deranged in a way that technically follows entirely logically from what came before.

Where Psycholonials is interesting is in that it... doesn't use game mechanics or space magic or whatever to drive that escalation, for the most part. It is... I would not in a million years call it realistic, because the events of the story are a psychotic doomer fever dream with a tenuous grasp on human reality, but it at least purports to take place on Earth, with events driven by human action in our modern world. There's some weird plausibly-deniable meta space magic stuff in there, but it could be plausibly written off as a delusion.

I don't think I, like, agree with most of what it's saying, but it sure is saying some stuff! In a really unique way! It's worth experiencing, at least.

(soundtrack's kinda weak though. lot of very pretty piano compositions but the very pretty piano compositions really do not work as emotional backdrop for most of these moments. idk if the inappropriate musical accompaniment was supposed to be making a statement or what, but i don't think it worked.)

Monster Train

Eesh. Okay, so- it's a roguelike deckbuilder, all the rage these days. Very pretty art. Very fun, mostly very well-balanced except the DLC goes the "okay now pump the difficulty up insanely so that only one strategy actually works and fuck you if you want to have fun" route. Polished and enjoyable and...

...and I got seriously addicted and wasted way way way too much time on it. Like a month of my life doing nothing else with my free time. I don't know exactly what the special sauce is that makes it do that, but I had to uninstall- this one's dangerous.

The Witch & The 66 Mushrooms

A short and sweet retro-styled metroidvania platformer. Not too much to say about it- it's cute, it's fun, there's a handful of really annoying challenges you have to do for 100% completion and the good ending- but overall, a pretty breezy experience. Took me about 3 hours to beat 95% of and another 3 hours to beat the last 5% of.

Deltarune (chapter 2)

If you've been holding off on Deltarune because it's not complete: that's valid, but each chapter is a mostly contained story so far- they're more like individual short games, at least for the two chapters that are out. Chapter 2 is hysterical, featuring a new main antagonist who is an evil cyborg queen that learned about humanity Lightners from the internet, and who is just the best. There's also a second [𝙴𝚇𝙲𝙻𝚄𝚂𝙸𝚅𝙴! $𝟷𝟿.𝟿𝟿 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚞𝚎] antagonist who is apparently [𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐨��𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫] lately, but he's not as good as the main attraction and very best cyber-tyrant.

-

That's everything I finished in 2021, but there's a few things I've sunk a lot of time into that are worthy of a mention, even though I'm not quite done with them yet.

Eastward

Holy damn, this game is gorgeous. It's like... every inch of this world is custom pixelart, made by someone who clearly loves doing pixelart, because there's no other reason there'd be this damn much of it. Every background NPC has a name and a character design, no reused generic townsfolk assets. Every building in every area- even if it's just there for decoration and the door is locked- is a custom piece packed with little details. You only see, like, tilesets and reused art in wilderness or dungeon areas where the terrain needs to be legible for combat and puzzle-solving- otherwise the whole game is just a work of art.

(the gameplay is very simplistic and the movement controls seem a little awkward considering how polished the rest of it is- it recommends a gamepad but the way aiming works I suspect it works better with mouse and keyboard. combat is serviceable but the art and story are the real draw.)

I'm only about halfway through it right now, so I don't know where the story is going exactly, but there sure is a lot of it- it's a very story-focused thing, following an old man and his surrogate daughter as they're forced to flee their lives in a Jiha Village-esque subterranean mining colony and adventure throughout a colorful world being menaced by some sort of ancient apocalyptic threat. I'm excited to see where it goes!

Trails to Azure

Trails from Zero and Trails to Azure (Zero no Kiseki and Ao no Kiseki) are a couple JRPGs in the Trails series that were never localized in the west- they skipped right from Trails in the Sky to Trails of Cold Steel. A fan organization called Geofront took it upon themselves to do full translation projects for the games, so I finally got to fill in that gap. (The fan translations have actually recently been taken down, though- because the Geofront actually got approached by NIS to partner in officially localizing the games, with the bulk of the work already being done- the fan translation patch is now going to be the official release, whenever that comes out.)

Anyway, the duology takes place in Crossbell this time- unlike the other Trails games, which have you journeying across a whole nation, Crossbell is a single city (plus a couple outlying villages), brought to life in exquisite detail. The Trails series is hard to localize because there's so much dialogue- every NPC in these games is a character with a name and face and little story arc of their own, developing over the course of a long story where each NPC has new dialogue every time the plot advances fractionally. Crossbell feels real- it makes me feel disappointed that I can't like, actually buy a plane ticket to go visit it. I can't ever visit Morges Bakery in real life! That feels so unjust!

I've finished Zero and I'm on the final chapter of Azure right now- and man, Azure is definitely the best of the second-entry Trails games. Usually the first game in a pair introduces a setting and characters, and then in the second game you stay in the same setting with the same characters while Mysterious Badguy Organization "Ouroboros" does an evil supermagic JRPG plot that makes no sense. Azure does keep the same setting and characters, but this time the plot feels properly foreshadowed and the big twists earned. (A lot of the weaker stuff in Cold Steel feels in retrospect like it was blindly aping a lot of the stuff that succeeded in the Crossbell games.)

Anyway, the fun combat, good writing, and great soundtrack mean it'll be a solid rec when it gets officially rereleased in, uh, 2023 apparently. Glad I got in early!

Raft

It's a survival-crafting game like so many others, except instead of a big empty asset flip wilderness, you're on a raft drifting through the wreckage of an apocalyptic flood that destroyed civilization. The basic loop of "reel in trash" -> "expand raft" is pretty satisfying, and the islands you can visit to progress the story have some pretty fun things going on. I'm waiting to play it in a group with some friends before I finish it.

Inscryption

It's a roguelike deckbuilder! ...At first. It's a horror game, too, where you're playing across a table from some sort of shadowy horror that has a sort of obsession with hunting and survivalism and kill-or-be-killed. If that were all it was, it'd be pretty good- the card game itself is strategically compelling and has a lot of fun synergies and unique challenges.

But it's by the same guy who made Pony Island and The Hex, so you know shit is gonna get weird and meta. I'm only like a third of the way through the game (I've reached "act 2", which is- like, cool for what it's doing, but less fun so far) and I don't know entirely where it's going, but it's definitely doing a lot of fun creepypasta shit. Zero is constantly on my ass to finish it already so he can talk spoilers with me, so I know it's good.

The Outer Wilds

You are a space alien who lives on a tiny planet. You have a spaceship that lets you fly around your solar system. The fucking sun keeps exploding and you have to timeloop back to 20 minutes before the sun explodes, to figure out why the sun keeps exploding and how to stop it from exploding so much.

It's a really unique experience- it's a spaceflight exploration game where you have to hunt down secrets and hints across an open world of planets with different gravity and exotic properties, many of which will kill you stone dead and send you back to the beginning. Your progress is measured in information gained, as you traverse the world and uncover ancient ruins and mysterious facilities and precursor aliens and quantum magic and all kinds of mind-blowing stuff.

I'm currently kind of stuck, having exhausted most of my leads and my best remaining lead probably being somewhere deep inside a horrifying MC Escher-ass nest of jumpscare space anglerfish, but I'm sure I'll work up the courage to go back in there and finish the game someday.

[marindram]

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

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June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

[syubub]

YOONGI SOULMATE READING

Disclaimer~tarot is speculative and this is my interpretation of energy. Take it with a grain of salt.

Honey boi time. Strap down because this one is wild. Kinda. And soft. Really really soft. And a little creepy. Buckle in.

So for starters Yoon has a dark, royal blue color energy. It isn't as opaque as Koos was but it was very... thick? Like its not that it wasn't opaque from a lack of energy but rather that kinda had clear energy mixed in too?? It was really pretty and its kinda like the more you look at it the deeper it gets?

It was kinda like this but deeper? And it was almost reflective and "sparkly" idk put it was real pretty.

So first thing to note. Yoon is always easy for me to connect with so he didn't have any barriers put up or whatever so when I was going towards him he was in red flannel pj bottoms and I was like, "am I missing something?" But no. He was just being comfy I guess? Now usually when I connect with energy of a person there's this like eternal tree trunk rope colum thing of energy or something that I kinda follow and then there's little platforms that they're on? I always have my back facing the energy colum thing when I connect.

That was not the case this time. Yoon essentially led me to his side to face the energy trunk? And he was like, "its weird on this side, huh?" ??? Hello, sir. What the fuck. This to me hints that maybe he is also going out and consciously connecting to energies? Idk man. But I was like, "yeah, it is kinda weird" It only gets weirder.

Next I was facing yoon and I was like hey I want to read your soulmate and gave him like a big ole energy marble expecting that to kinda get the connection going but the only thing I heard from his soulmate was "I can't tell you" like shit. And then he dissolved my energy offering? Oki. And I essentially couldn't connect with his soulmate at all. Anyway, I floated off the little platform thing (that was real bizarre) and yoongi connected with me.

His soulmates energy wasn't present at all but I was told to continue any way. Now for in my opinion the creepiest part. So, keep in mind yoons is actively connected to me and I was like, "well, if your soulmate isn't here then please guide me to what deck I should use for their personality signifier and he pointed me to the fountain tarot.

I started shuffling and after I did one bridge shuffle and split it to do another one he was like, "hey, you're gonna get temperance reverse fyi" and I was like hahaha no. And he was like, "no. Listen to me. Bridge twice, hand shuffle twice and split into two. And you'll get temperance rev. Turn it ride side up when it comes out" I was like okay but you crazy. Tarot doesn't work like that

Guess what fucking came up? TEMPERANCE REVERSED when I tell you I freaked out I mean I fuckin freaked. I know it sounds made up or unbelievable and if I didn't see it happen I'd say its fake but FUCK DUDE. So i asked my pendulum if it should be reverse and it was like no, flips that shit. And I swear to God yoongi was laughing at me for being spooked like the smug ass that he is.

Now

First note I wrote was sagittarius energy. This person has sagittarius energy. Yep yep yep. This person balances him out. Temperance is the card of sagittarius. Heavy fire influence in the cart.

Oki now onto personality explained. I got 3 of coins, the heirophant, ace of wands and the magician. This person is very spiritual and has been manifesting him (they’ve manesfesting eachother but I'll get to that later?) This is a person that values knowledge and is very creative and has a lot of quick ideas. This person also really values communication of knowledge. Loves to get it loves to share it. Probably the person that can tell you a stupid fact about almost anything.

We also have networked, storyteller, god and mentor. This is someone who loves to teach people about what they've learned. They like to share the wisdom (with the god card im inclined to say that they share spiritual wisdom but I don't see it as a career?) This person values communication and collecting knowledge.

Now, on to relationship. We have wheel of fortune, justice, ace of wands and the lovers. This relationship has been in the works on a spiritual level for a long time. They’ve been actively manifesting eachother. We know Yoon is at least a little psychic so this makes sense. This relationship is founded in balance. They treat eachother as equals. I also wrote, "certainly something devine". They have a witty rapport and its so so so loving! They have really good communication and respect for eachother! They are also good at keeping eachither accountable.

Now for this person's career. They’ve been going through a change so their career is undecided. There was likely a period of depression that put a pause on their career? But there's also the queen of coins which suggests that they will be making good money. Now, I chose 3 clarity cards on the queen of coins to help me figure out where this money will be coming from and I drew three more coin cards so this means this person is on the cusp of making some good money soon!

Now we have answer the call, awakening and share your voice. They are being called to be together. Again yoon is woke af and apparently so is his soulmate. The picture i get is like when they finally meet they're both a little shy because they've been connecting with eachothers energies and they're like, "whos gonna bring it up?" Like they are finally out of hiding when they meet. Its cute as fuck.

Oki. We have answered prayers, spiritual path and make time for self care. THEY ARE MANIFESTING EACHOTHER. They are a woke pair and the energy is so sturdy and solid. I also get the sense that they engage in self care together? Like they'll make sure to take care of themselves spiritual and physical. I also think that they would be that type of couple to have a mad bath bomb collection.

Side note: while I was doing this I got like a cute little picture in my head of them sitting on the couch in pj's and facemasks with towels on their heads sipping wine and that makes me soft.

Now onto the message from his soulmate cards. So we have release all anger, new idea, be positive, take a shot, Have you eaten? You're acting like a big ass baby and shit is going down with your job. Now. I made a note that this is from Yoon to his soulmate? Um, sir? But oki, yoon makes the rules. What I get from this is that his soulmate is currently going through some job related stuff and he's saying, "hey, its okay to start over. Do that thing you've been wanting to do for a while" he wants his soulmate to stop focusing on what isn't going right and just start fresh. I also lowkey think he's like, you need to just fucking chill. The world isn't imploding just because something isn't working out. Its very reassuring and it feels like he wants to comfort them. Cute

Let's talk about the descriptors now. Yoon was very picky with these? Which confused me. They don't know eachother in person is the vibe im getting and I don't think yoon has ever seen this person either? I think maybe he's had dreams of his soulmate? Idk but the cards are: quality time, fashionable, unique, free spirit, independent, short hair, younger, sweet, charming. I also made a note for brown hair and a masculine chart.

For my little word cards we have, fate, vows, serendipity and loyalty. WE GET IT. YOURE ADORABLE TOGETHER

"All men should learn before they die, what they are running from and to and why" is the little fortune. I think that this is yoon telling his soulmate to do some shadow work? Like find out why you do the things you do, why certain things anger you ect.

Now at this point I was told that I had to use the small deck to get more cards about the relationship. I was like "I already did that but whatever" and I did. I pulled 10 of cups, 2 of cups and the lovers again. WHAT. THE. FUCK. This is the most romantic and soulmatey soulmate reading ever. 10 of cups is emotional fulfillment. This is just everything. Everything! 2 of cups is romance, unified love. Its also about partnership. They work so well together. And the lovers card. Love, relationships and harmony. Oh my god its fucking nuts.

Now onto the final card. Again. Very very very clearly told that this is for his soulmate. We have, the perfection of your life. This card talks about a spiritual storm coming to shake things up in order to put things to put things back in perfect order. A quote I like from the book is, "all is unfolding to a perfect higher order." This to me kinda sums it up well. Shit is about to get crazy for his soulmate and its not a bad thing. Change is need for this person and there is change coming that will stir every thing up and place it back in better places. Ugh. I can't. He wants his soulmate not to fear the storm but rather embrace it and know that positive change will come out of it.

Last part. When the reading is over I always disconnect and essentially put the energy back? This time on yoons little platform (I sound like a lunatic trying to describe some of this shit I swear) I was like, "hey thanks for being cooperative and being so active and involved i appreciate that." And then he gave me an energy marble ball thing too? I was like, "thanks but what the fuck" and then I did what he did when I gave him the marble ball energy thing in the beginning and just... put it in my energy? Like thats what he did? so is that like an energy custom that I don't know about? Wtf. My best guess is that I gave him an offering of energy and he gave me some in return at the end? And then the little shit just dissappears? MIN YOONGI I HAVE QUESTIONS YOU CAN'T JUST DISSAPPEAR??

But he did. And that was the end. It was super fucking bizarre. So for say joo I connected to his soulmate through him. So it was a connection with the soulmate but hosted by joons energy? For Jk his soulmate gave me a direct link which was new and awesome but for Yoongi it was just a very direct connection with him. Just him.

That really tells me that he knows his soulmate well on a soul level and his soulmate literally said, "I can't tell you"

I'm confused but very happy for him!

Yoon is a very soft and sweet man, pass it on

[reidamancy]

🎶 idk if you've heard of it, but there's a song called learning to love you by Jake Scott that makes me 🥺

hi ty for putting me on this song it’s in my playlist now haha

a/n: i feel like this went from 0-100 real quick but i didn’t know how to make the transition LOL and if i keep trying to change it i WILL spend 834 hours on it so i’m just gonna post it now okay bye

(spencer reid x gender neutral reader)

---

“Spencer?!”

The man turned around and revealed himself to be your first boyfriend. You let out a gasp upon seeing his face. “Y/N?” He brought you in for a hug and you immediately reciprocated.

As you pulled away you took another good look at his face and said, “Wow, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

He ran a hand through his hair as he answered, “Yeah, it’s been so long.”

“I, How are you? What are you doing back in Vegas?” You stammered.

“I’m good, yeah.” He nodded. “I’m just back visiting my mom.”

“Oh! How is she?”

“She’s good! The meds are really working, I think we’re making a lot of progress.” He smiled at you.

You couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face either. “That’s really good! I... I’m not gonna lie, I miss her.”

“You only dated me for my mom.” Spencer laughed.

“That’s not true!” You giggled. Spencer narrowed his eyes at you. “Okay, maybe I did.”

You both laughed.

His phone chimed and when he read the message he let out a sigh. “Hey, listen, I gotta go... But um, would you maybe like to get dinner?”

You bit your lip to hold back a smile. You nodded, making sure you weren’t being too overenthusiastic, and replied, “I’d love to.”

As he walked away, you stared at his receding figure, remembering the last time you saw him. You were high school and college sweethearts, your first and longest relationship. They say you never forget your first love, and boy were they right.

After Spencer moved to D.C. your relationship was never the same. The distance strained your relationship and you had to call it quits. But your separation had nothing to do with the lack of love for each other. You both cared about each other deeply, but just couldn’t maintain a healthy relationship. But every once in a while, he would cross your mind. You wondered if he ever lived out the plans you two would talk about on those late nights, or if those plans were just teenage wishful thinking.

As you got ready for dinner with Spencer, your phone chimed with a text from him.

Wear something fancy :)

You wondered where he could be taking you, then quickly changed into more formal attire. Next thing you knew, he was waiting for you outside.

“Wow... you look...” Spencer’s voice trailed off as he admired you.

You laughed before placing your hands on his shoulders, smoothing out his blazer, and saying, “You’re not too bad yourself, Spence.”

He smiled, then opened the car door for you and ushered for you to get in. As he began to drive you asked, “So where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to France.”

“Woah, I didn’t know the FBI payed that much.”

He laughed, “I meant I’m taking you to Paris.”

As if right on cue, the bright blue Paris ball of the Las Vegas Strip came into view and you gasped. “That’s where...” You trailed off.

“Yep. And it was our best date. I figured this would be good just for the... nostalgia.”

You bit your lip at his words. That night in Paris truly was your best date. After having one of the best dinners of your life then sneaking into (and winning lots of games at) the casino, you went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. And Spencer told you he loved you for the first time.

Spencer led you inside and he was right. It was just like old times. Although the years have changed everything around you, stepping back inside here with Spencer by your side felt surreal. It was as if the universe had rearranged to recreate this moment from your youth. And as you looked at your first love, you couldn’t be any happier.

As you dined together, the conversation geared towards your love lives.

“So are you married? Any kids?” You felt silly asking, considering the romantic atmosphere of this whole night, but you had to be sure.

He laughed. “No, no. I've been too focused on my career.”

“Same here.”

“It's so weird, I always thought I'd be married at this age.”

You smiled. “Me too.”

To you.

“Remember that night, when we laid out our entire life plan together?” You laughed, “We thought we had everything all figured out. God, we were so young and naive. Can you imagine if we actually stuck to those plans?”

Spencer smiled at you. “Yeah, I can actually.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Really? How would we afford a house, 8 cats, 4 kids, and a coffee shop here in Las Vegas, Nevada?”

“I don’t know, your coffee shop could’ve been the new Starbucks.”

You snorted. “Oh please, give me a break.”

Spencer laughed. “No, but there are some parts of those plans I wouldn’t mind making a reality.”

You couldn’t hide the blush that crept on your cheeks. You knew exactly what he was talking about.

He leaned forward in his chair and said, “You know, the odds of a successful first relationship are astronomically low.”

You eyed him as he licked his lips and continued. “But you’ve seen the best and worst of me, Y/N. And even after all these years, you still get my heart racing. There’s just something about you...”

You bit your lip as you asked, “Spencer, do you believe in soulmates?”

He nodded.

“I do too. And I don’t know, this whole night, seeing you again, it just feels like a sign. The years have changed but they’ve rearranged for us to meet again. And I think that maybe we just met at the wrong time. None of my other relationships even compared to what we had.” You paused. “And seeing you again it just feels right.” A sigh escaped your lips. “Am I crazy?” You nervously laughed.

Spencer laughed and shook his head. He bit his lip and smiled. “Do you think we can try again?”

“I’d like that.” You beamed. “Maybe we’re not who we thought we would be right now. But we can still try, right?”

He smiled as he reached over and held your hand over the table. “I loved you then, and I’ll keep learning to love you now.”

prettyboy-reid's 500 follower celebration!

[madfantasy]

hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕

(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)

Hello dear!

Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.

Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.

I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?

My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.

I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.

Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.

I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.

And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.

At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)

Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.

Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.

Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.

Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.

But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.

And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.

The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:

Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.

He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.

He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.

And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:

Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them

I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.

And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'

Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.

Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.

Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛

I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!

Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe

Candy, a less brain developed babyy

Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh

And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.

Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.

And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏

1.5.2020

[smolla-than-a-bug]

Death Eaters, Eh?

A/N: i’ve always liked the idea of a supernatural x harry potter crossover idk why sksksk and then this happened sjjsjssjjs i’m not too proud of this but i hope you guys like it :))

|| Masterlist ||

pairing: harry potter x fem!reader, dad!dean winchester x daughter!reader

timeline: harry potter and the deathly hallows

summary: Hunting all her life is a handful—especially when having Dean Winchester for a father—so when Y/N catches a glimpse of leaving to make her own apple pie life, she seizes it. However, she discovers that what they say is true: No one can truly escape the hunter's life.

warnings: swearing

THIRD PERSON P.O.V.

Y/N sighed, tiredly, as she struggled to fix herself another mug of coffee. The coffee maker, for some reason, refused to function properly no matter what she did to try and make it work. She was already experiencing difficulty with her attempt at being normal, and it really showed.

Ever since she had moved to London to live the 'apple pie life', as her father so referred to it, she had had trouble adjusting. The shift from full-time hunter of the supernatural to full-time normal teenager, balancing work and uni, constantly made her want to vomit. Back at home, things were dealt with a simple "Shoot first. Ask questions later," and voila—problem solved. Although, she knew that she would someday become accustomed to living the normal life.

She allowed her phone's screen to illuminate. Thursday, it read. She groaned.

Her paper was due on Friday, which was the next day, and she had been too caught up with work to notice the days that went by. As a result, here she was—struggling to write a paper.

It was during these moments that made Y/N miss hunting with her dad and uncle. She missed researching in the vast library of the bunker, and she longed to once again experience another banter with her dad in the Impala. That was home to her.

It did not help that her wonderful boyfriend was away at a mysterious boarding school—one that only permitted letters delivered via literal owls for communication—for most of the year. It was weird, but then again, Y/N thought, who was she to judge?

She hadn't heard from Harry until earlier in the week, receiving a piece of parchment delivered to her by an owl named Errol with forward, hastily scribbled words that read:

School won't be allowing mail this year. Don't send Errol back. Love you. -Harry

This left Y/N confused beyond words, but she brushed it off, nevertheless. She was able to learn how to care for an owl in a span of a few days.

-

When Y/N finally got the coffee machine working, she unintentionally filled her mug to the brim, streams of her coffee furiously cascading down her mug and onto the counter.

"Dammit," she swore, frustrated that pouring coffee was just another thing she failed at doing properly. She just wanted to sleep.

It was when Y/N turned to find a rag, to clean up the mess she made, that she heard a loud crack which seemed to have emanated from the living area.

Y/N jerked at the alarming noise as her hunter instincts kicked her in the face, she suddenly felt awake. Someone was in her apartment. She abandoned the idea of finding a rag, and she snatched a knife off of the counter instead, crouching behind the granite kitchen island.

She then heard another loud crack, and another, followed by a voice unknown to her as well as some violent sniffing.

"Where's the girl?" one of them inquired—male, Y/N made sure to note. Y/N concluded that she was the 'girl' in question. Now, she was aware that the unwelcome visitors were after her. Was this another Men of Letters thing? It couldn't possibly be.

The sound of footsteps seemed to get louder, indicating that the intruders were getting closer. Her right hand clutched the knife firmly, mentally preparing to engage. She could then make out the three sets of feet making their way to the island she was hiding behind.

When Y/N decided it was time to make an appearance, she popped up from behind the counter, and threw it at the first figure she saw. She noted that in her kitchen stood two male figures and one female.

The knife plunged itself into the shoulder of a man she deemed as one hairy bastard. The said hairy bastard let out an animalistic growl and launched himself at her. Werewolf.

Y/N fought back as best as she could, remembering all of her training as a hunter. She felt a wave of adrenaline engulf her at the experience, which she had longed for. The werewolf's bizarre female companion let out a maniacal cackle.

"GREYBACK!" the male associate with the long white-blonde hair scolded—the dude screamed authority. "We need her," but 'Greyback', as he was now known, refused to move, "Alive."

And Greyback hesitantly retreated slowly. Snarling, he revealed his canines.

Seeing wands in the hands of the intruders, Y/N knew they practiced magic. Witches—lovely, she bitterly thought, having momentary recollections of how much her dad had openly expressed his distaste for witches.

Y/N knew it was a dumb decision, but she was a Winchester and she could not conjure a more sensible idea. She made a break for it, managing to push past the woman, only to have her arms forced to her sides and thrashing in the grip of Greyback.

Blondie spoke again, this time directed at Y/N. He tutted, "Filthy muggle."

Y/N growled at him, and then shouted in frustration. "Son of a bitch! Damn I hate witches." She fully understood where her father's fiery hate came from now.

"Oh, so I see Potter's told you about us?" sneered the woman.

Y/N was confused. "Potter? As in Harry? What does he have to do with this?"

The three froze in surprise before the woman spoke again, "So it seems as though he has not," before letting out another cackle. She seemed to ne enjoying this a little much.

"Curious," Blondie observed.

"Would you cut the shit? What's curious, and what does my boyfriend have to do with this?" Y/N was annoyed, the slightest bit betrayed even. She suddenly felt as though significant details on Harry's life had been kept from her knowledge.

Blondie ignored her. "What are you?"

"I'm a hunter, you genious," Y/N rolled her eyes. Blondie looked surprised, but quickly put himself together and smirked. "Thought you might've known that already, but.. guess not."

He hummed, "Bellatrix, you've got a new toy."

-

"Death Eaters? Seriously? Okay, so you're Death Eaters.. So.. You eat d– is that how it works?"

Y/N was bound on her desk chair with rope in the middle of her living area, surrounded by more witches and wizards who referred to themselves as 'Death Eaters'. They gave her the privilege of experiencing the Cruciatus Curse, which hurt like a bitch, but this was not the first time Y/N had to endure torture.

"I am not going to repeat myself. Now, where is Harry Potter?" demanded Lucius.

"That depends," Y/N pursed her lips. She would protect Harry with her life. It's her job as a hunter to protect, and she was only driven all the more by her undying love for him. "Who's asking?"

Lucius responded with a look of disbelief and irritation as he was slowly getting fed up with her games. It was silent for a moment.

"Well then.. I ain't tellin' ya." Y/N flashed them a wide smile.

Y/N was bloody, bruised, and tired; but, she refused to lose her charisma and give the damn wizards the satisfaction of breaking her. Moreover, she would rather they torture her than Harry.

Lucius looked to Bellatrix. She raised her wand, but before she could screetch the word 'Crucio', a red beam of light interrupted, followed by many more, and the Death Eaters all made their escape.

None other than Harry, Ron, and Hermione emerged from the source of the lights. Y/N let out a breath she was not aware she was holding.

Harry rushed over to her side, removing the ropes that bound her to the chair and allowing her to collapse onto the floor. Looking her over, he was horrified at her injuries and at the evidence of torture.

Hugging Y/N to himself, he kept mumbling the words "I'm sorry" over and over again while tears fell down his cheeks. He could hardly see over his glasses, which were situated crookedly on his nose.

"It's okay," Y/N tried to get Harry's attention, but it seemed as though he could not hear her over his tears and apologies. "Hey– Harry!"

That caught his attention. When he finally brought his green eyes to meet hers, he did not expect to be met with Y/E/C orbs that seemed to be filled with experience with these kinds of things. Y/N was composed—not fully, but enough—and she did not seem very fazed by the fact that she'd been tortured.

Bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears, Y/N whispered, "I'm okay," before attempting for a smile, pressing her forehead to his, and allowing a single tear to leak out of her left eye.

Harry kissed Y/N’s forehead, and let out a shuddered breath. He then rested his right hand on the nape of her neck, his left hand around her waist, and he nestled his face on the crook of her neck. In turn, Y/N wrapped her arms around him.

They remained on the floor like this, in tears, holding each other close before Ron popped the question: "What are we to do now?"

Slowly pulling away, Harry rested his hands on Y/N's arms. "I guess she comes with us."

[anxietycomments]

One-shot? Idk it's 12 PM, I won't go to sleep, so I might as well try. My AU of Nobody Died AU (JD died, Chandler, Kurt and Ram were sent into comas long enough for people at school to spread rumors that they were dead. Which everyone believed, but the funerals never happened).

Veronica Angst! Also there's fluff, ig

Prove Our Friendship - 1

I might make a part 2, I dunno.

If Veronica had to be as honest as she could be, she couldn't deny liking any of the Heathers. They were a little family, made of everyone leaning on everyone ever since she joined.

Sometime ago, McNamara confessed that, since the blue clad girl joined the group, they've been a lot softer with each other. Duke has been actually getting help because of Veronica, Chandler is learning how to be a better friend, and overall they were doing well. The yellow clad girl even mentioned how unreal it felt, how just months prior the Heathers had been a terrible, malicious, new kind of evil to everyone and themselves.

So to be laying in one of Chandler's couches, them all hanging out, it felt.. weird. Veronica glanced around. Duke was sitting on the floor, her back to the same couch 'Ronica sat on; Mac was to Duke's right, on a recliner. And Chandler was on the other end of 'Ronica's couch, laying down as well. They were all listening to Duke talk, which the green clad girl happily enjoyed.

Veronica had zoned out a while ago, just thinking of all this. They actively talked about each other's issues, they figured something out together, they made this own little world for themselves; a place they can go to rest, to ignore the real world. They, but Veronica couldn't bring herself to talk much about herself. After all their “therapy” sessions, she had come to think that she didn't matter as much. Her issues weren't as “big”, as “troubling”, as theirs. She couldn't possibly bother them with that, that'd be mean of her, she'd be such a bad friend!

But maybe that's wrong.

Haven't they all been leaning on each other for support? Because their parents just.. don't get it? Even when they're the only ones that could give medical help or something?

If those are the “requirements”, Veronica has met them. Don't get her wrong, she loves her parents to death, but they'd never understand. Adults don't take the time to read a person's behavior.

Well, the Heathers could. And they did. Just, as much as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to talk. It's weird opening up when all you do is help others. You don't know how to help yourself, you've only been someone else's therapist.

She looked around again. A weird transition from her mind palace to the real world.

Nobody was talking anymore, they were just doing their own thing. But it was nice. No one was annoyed at no one, they were just enjoying each other's company.

Veronica turned to lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.

It's kind of funny. This all happened, hell was set loose, she thought she killed three people (her best friend included), her boyfriend -- dread climbed up her throat at that word. Saying his name doesn't help either -- exploded in front of her, she has a bunch of scars and burn marks, and nobody asked. It almost seemed like nobody cared. But knowing her friends, they just didn't want to push her. The Heathers are very analytic, and she didn't even try hiding the scars; there's no way they wouldn't notice. They just didn't want to push her.

Maybe they have a hunch on what happened. They know he died, and that he was somewhat special to Veronica, it's impossible they don't have a few theories. But they know Veronica, she won't talk until she's ready, otherwise it'll come out as a ramble of words that don't even make sense together. They're waiting for her to be ready.

It made her feel a bit better. 'Cause maybe, just maybe, they do care.

Weirdly enough, the Heathers felt something all of a sudden, a disturbance to their peace. It was the need to prove something to someone. But who? And why?

[bymyblood]

What happened between you and your ex? I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this, and you're right, it's not fair if she abused you. You deserved so much better than pain. Feel free to ignore this if it's too personal. But I'm rooting for you!

It’s way too much bullshit to adequately sum up over this format but here goes. Overview- we met on tumblr, were long distance for about a year and a half, moved in together at the beginning of 2020. Things were amazing at first but got bad as time went on. She routinely belittled my emotions, would straight up tell me she did not care about my feelings and that they were annoying and didn’t matter. Would selectively overshare with me to give me the illusion that she was honest and trustworthy when in reality she was hiding a lot from me. Cheated on me at least twice that I know of- my friends tell me there were probably more times I didn’t find out about, idk what I believe about that, I just try not to think about it anymore. Pretended to be supportive of me and my non-binary identity whilst being secretly transphobic as hell the whole time (probably still pretends to be an ally even now lol). Spent the entire relationship pretending to be supportive of me getting top surgery- something I had discussed with her a lot, in detail, we had planned for her to come to Texas with me to help me recover and everything- then as soon as I actually scheduled it she bailed on me and said she didn’t want it to happen and that she might break up with me over it. (Note-this occurred about a month after she did a big grand gesture with a promise ring where she claimed I was the one and promised that she would propose to me- I’m not even gonna get into all the pain of that.) The weeks leading up to surgery she treated me like absolute shit and bullied me a lot, told me I was gonna be ugly, that I’d regret it, joked that I would detransition, blah blah blah. It was a living hell. I went away for surgery, she barely talked to me the whole time I was gone, leading me to be utterly miserable the whole time (9 days). I spent pretty much the entire trip crying in the bathroom so my mom wouldn’t see and panicking that she was gonna leave me. Really put a dent in my life-changing surgery experience 🥴 Oh and also while I was gone she drove my car 30 minutes away without my permission (she was just learning to drive) to see some shiny new boy she met, and I came back to find that my car was damaged. She claimed she didn’t know what had happened and that it occurred overnight in the parking lot of our apartment complex- I didn’t fucking know what to believe, and still don’t know, but everyone that saw it said it looked like it had been run off the road. She broke up with me two days after I got home from my surgery trip, I was absolutely heartbroken. Then she pretty much immediately started dating that boy she had met- technically they didn’t put a label on it for a few weeks after but they started hanging out constantly and hooking up and whatnot. She would routinely have me drive her an hour round trip to drop her off at his house for the night, which was fucked up by itself. And then she started bringing him over to our *one bedroom apt* *that we still lived in together*... needless to say things got very messy and everyone had a bad and weird time. We finally moved out in October. Stopped talking in December I think? Idk. The whole thing was a shitshow and there were parts that were good and genuine and wholesome, at least I think? But honestly after everything she put me through I no longer have any semblance of what the truth was. I have no idea what was real and what was the illusion she fed me. She gaslit the fuck out of me and took advantage of my soft heart and naivety. It took me a long time to actually be mad at her. For so long I was infinitely forgiving and gave her a thousand chances and tried my best to support her. She has a couple of PDs and I always tried my best to be kind and understanding of that because I know what it is to be misunderstood and above all I just wanted to show her love. But the reality of it was that I let that be an excuse for her abuse and manipulation and lack of loving behavior toward me. And I never truly held her accountable for how horribly she treated me. Never again, holy fuck.

[you-are-constance]

I don't want to seem like I'm discounting any of your headcanons (which are very good!) but I do think a lot of different things than you about what happened in this time (which is fine! keep your headcanons, and I'll keep mine!). Please, do not take my words as canon (I am not someone who can make decisions about what is and isn't canon in the story) or discount any other headcanons because of what I say, but I do want to say my view.

Abraham does resurrect Will as a clockwork replica, yes, that part is canon. Then Abraham devotes the rest of his life to fixing Constance and bringing her back. We know that he fails, and when he dies, Constance is put up as a statue in the middle of the town, and The Turning of the Key tradition begins. That is all the 'canon' events we know for what happens post-Clockwork.

I also agree with what you've said about how 'Will saw how his neighbors treated Constance... so he keeps a low profile.' Whether or not it's Abraham's influence over him or just Will knowing what is best, the town remains ignorant of Will's survival (can it be called survival? I'm not entirely sure). I also agree with Ma Riley never knowing, and Will never forgiving her (I headcanon that she left the town, either driven away by townspeople or left of her own accord, she left Spindlewood and never returned).

Here's where I differ:

I don't feel like Abraham ever saw Will as a son, or at least, not in the way you're mentioning (in relation to Constance...). Abraham never saw him as equal, or as he was, until he died. Abraham would consistently call him 'the boy' ('the boy won't last'), even when it is shown later that Abraham does know his name, he does know who Will is. Abraham didn't see him as important, even when Constance said that she loved him. Abraham starts to see when Will stands up for Constance, trying to protect her (sharing the same goal as Abraham, but doing it in a completely different way), but he doesn't truly see until after Will dies, and Constance as well. He brings Will back because Constance loved him, not because of any attachment Abraham had to him (although now I'm thinking about parallels...)

Maybe Abraham did grow fond of him (I agree with you saying they lived together while Abraham still lived), and maybe he did try to overcome some of the overprotective tendencies that he had with Constance, I can see him trying to be better than he was, but I can also see him seeing the even more real danger now. He reminds Will of what happened to both him and Constance, and Will knows that he is right. Maybe the town wouldn't have the same reaction, maybe they would have learned from their mistakes, but who could tell? Who would know if the town had learned, or would make the same mistake over again?

So Will does stay inside. He wants to help fix Constance, but he can hardly bear to look at her at first, her body stuck and somewhat marred, he can't handle it. I do think he grows a little, he learns and is able to help, but mostly, yeah, he does his own work. He does learn clockmaking, but not necessarily because Abraham teaches him. He studies Abraham's work and is able to learn, and does excel at it.

And he does so want to stay close with the Glynns. They're the only townspeople he found himself missing, and he wanted to keep up with their family. (check out my ocs for my hc of their kids)

When Abraham dies, Will does bury him beside his wife and daughter, but Will stays, he stays to fulfil his role as The Storyteller.

(ok this is the part I am just soooo curious about bc. when Abraham died most of the townspeople living with Constance was there had to have still been alive. what did they think of The Storyteller? just a random guy in a weird costume that came to tell them a story that most of them were in? idk it just. interests me)

Amelia recognizes him, and confronts him after the first ceremony. Will doesn't try to hide himself from her any longer. From then on, he does stay close with the Glynns, but continues to hide himself from the rest of the town. When Amelia and Henry die, he does still watch over their children, but as the generations go by, he distances himself further and further (so that when the mother with the pocket watch comes by in the end, she doesn't know who he is, not really)

Will never stops wanting to see the rest of the world. He always desires it, but he could never leave Constance behind to do so. So he sits and waits, year in, year out, showing himself in town only one night a year, and busies himself, with clockmaking, with writing (he is a writer and you can pull this out of my cold dead hands), with anything else to pass the time, waiting for her to return.

I do like your headcanon very much, I just thought I'd share mine as well! I hope I'm not out of line in saying this on your post, just let me know if you don't want me to say this on your post and I can delete it.

Okay, so in the end of TCD, Abraham resurrects Will as a clockwork replica right?

Headcannon that Abraham basically adopts Will as the son he never had, making sure to learn from the overprotective mistakes he made with Constance.

He doesn’t have to work too hard though. Will saw how his neighbors treated Constance when they found out what she was so he keeps a low profile.

He stays good friends with the Glynns.

He never forgives his mother for what she did. And he never tells her what Abraham did for him. She lives the rest of her life believing her son is well and truly dead

Will lives with Abraham in his little cottage, studying clockmaking as Abraham’s apprentice.

With his nimble clockwork fingers, the student rises above the master and Abraham couldn’t be more proud.

When Abraham dies, Will buries him in a plot next to his daughter and sells the cottage, moving on to the city to set up his own clockmaking shop, Clockwork Constance. He uses the name Abraham Riley professionally, both to honor his father figure and mentor and to keep people who knew him in his past life from finding him.

I just have a lot of ideas about post-tcd Will Riley and Abraham.