#but like with a dose of morally grey

[cursedvida]

The relationship between Noa and Mae is like an "almost something becoming more" type of relationship and I am here for it.

They have all the tropes I love: they're almost something, they're enemies to lovers, they're in a doomed relationship, they're opposites attracting, they're sunshine x moonlight, they're hero x anti-hero/morally grey, it's impossible love due to circumstances, it's drama, it's anguish, it's suffering, they're everything I need to be glued to what happens between them and get my dose of external dopamine that I can't naturally have due to my ADHD hahahahahah.

[luckyreds]

On Crossroads

a quick rant about symbolism, which I thought way too much about this episode

Crossroads is about an obvious crossroad, both physically and metaphorically. It’s the midway episode, we are literally crossing into the latter half of the series. It is also the episode where Winters is promoted. He's no longer captain of "Easy Company" and must grapple with letting go of that identity, a clear turning point in his journey. He's at a crossroads, both literally and figuratively.

If you look closely, the theme of change and transition is woven throughout the episode. For instance, in the barn scene, we see the replacements from the previous episode leading around the new replacements. As Luz puts it, "New guys giving the replacements the what for, and why is." They’ve fought alongside the Normandy veterans, but they’re still perceived as “new.” Yet to the even newer replacements, Hashey, Ramirez, and Babe are already part of the old guard. we can see here three generations of easy company, and the constantly changing roster of soldiers coming and going from their ranks.

Change is also evident in smaller, personal moments. At Winters’ "writing corner of shame," Nix laments about stopping to hide his drink in the footlocker, aka an excuse to see Winter’s as often as he likes. Then they joke about Nix stopping drinking in it’s entirety; to which Nix says Cheers! In a way, Nixon rejects change, clinging to old habits even as the world around him shifts. (Something that he comes back to haunt him in later episodes)

Going to the titular crossroads mission, Though it’s a tactical success, it feels hollow, leaving Winters deeply unsettled. This mission represents a breaking point for him and foreshadows the strain that will take its toll on others. For example, Liebgott, picking off German soldiers on his own, not listening to Winters at first, a sign of growing cracks in discipline and morale.

 (Later on they even cross another “crossroad”, the river, getting the British back. In a way, the two missions reflect the two big invasions they have been apart of, Normandy and Market-Garden, One a victory, the other ending up in retreat.)

Signs of emotional strain are evident across the company. Doc Roe snaps at Welsh and Winters over giving Moose a morphine dose that could’ve killed a literal one, his calm exterior finally fraying. Luz cracks jokes at the cinema, clinging to humour even when no one laughs anymore. Buck sits silently, staring into the void, staying even after everyone has left. These moments illustrate how the prolonged stress of war is beginning to affect everyone, which we see more pronounced in later episodes.

The theme of change is even seen in other details! The whole episode takes place in Autumn! A changing season. We start the episode with full trees and bright skies in Holland, To the snowy and misty mountains of the Ardennes, the episode shifts to grey. We even see change in their clothing! As the episode progresses some of the guys are starting to wear their winter uniform! Once you see it, Change and transition is all over this episode. All in all this picture might do it best:

[gorjee-art]

God I love ur art so much I just wanna squeeze it to bits- but anywho- what's your inspiration behind ur designs? By the way the lamb is posed i just- really think of aztec art for some reason, but they're all so cool GRAAAAH

Oh my gosh thank you!! That's so lovely to hear, you've made my day! As for the inspiration of the bishops and lamb, they're a cacophony of a multitude of things. Ancient Egyptian mythology, Ancient Greek mythology, Aztec mythology, The Divine Comedy, and EVEN the bible. Since the cult of the lamb is just drowning in symbology I wanted to really coat it in things that make the bishops look like GODS. Leshy was inspired by Dionysus (whoever guessed that in the tags you were absolutely correct), Heket was inspired by Demeter, Kallamar was inspired by Seth and various mythological sea creatures, and Shamura (you'd be surprised) by The Art of War, not a specific god, but rather philosophers, particularly Miyamoto Musashi who was quite the ruthless samurai turned that retired into a philosopher and painter. Narinder and Lamb are interesting though cause they were inspired by the bible. Narinder was specifically inspired by Moses and their need to correct their past ways and Sisyphus in their long journey of atoning for their sin. Lamb is inspired by a multitude of saints, Saint George and Saint David specifically with of course a healthy dose of death symbology and omens.

Almost everyone in the Cotl fandom views Lamb in a universally similar way, cutely evil or morally grey. To that I say...I don't blame you! The content is dark and grim and Lamb does it all with a smile, but I can't help but think of moments where Lamb...cries, or is scared, even enraged! When your entire kind is seemingly wiped out and you are now dead, a god gives you a promise of abilities to return back to your realm as...better, powerful, with the power to bring back the dead. What else do you really have to lose? A mortal becoming what is essentially a force of nature is so deliciously tragic and must be explored. You are no longer the helpless sack of flesh and bone that was shivering at the sight of your family perishing, you are now death, that can decide to reverse that fate, to right the wrong of your cowardice. Much like a...specific cat trying to right the wrongs of their arrogance.

My muse just-- goes nuts for this stuff, and I'm having a blast just shoving my love of myth and tale into this very silly game.

[popculturebuffet]

Transformers More than Meets the Eye Retrospective: Intermission: Robots in Disguise Season 1 Retrospective (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my More than Meets the Eye retrospective. Kinda. For those of you just joining us for the past two years i've been doing a retrospective of the Transformers comic More than Meets the Eye, one of my faviorite comics ever. While it is as a patreon review i've been more than happy to and in december we hit the end of season 1.

So now.. we're in a weird in between place, as season 1 for MTMTE is over.. but we still have a big crossover event left. And to judge said event fairly.... I realzied I had to go back and re-read Robots in Disguise to properly gage said event.

Yeah i've never been a huge fan of the 2012 comic Robots in Disguise. See I first read RiD AFTER More than Meets the Eye, having loved what I could read of MTMTE and wanting more. This... wasn't the right mindset in hindsight as the two works are completely diffrent beasts: MTMTE is about a found family of disfunctional robots trying to move on from war, making quips, and dealing with their trauma. It is a LOT of things I love in fiction: a bunch of misfits who don't really fit into the society their a part of, clever jokes, spectacular world building, and minor characters given their day in the sun. It feels at times like the book was made for me, down to repadeatly homaging one of my faviorite covers of all time. It was easy to love it and it only grows as I dig into it.

RID in contrast.. is an attempt at a morally grey prestige drama that on paper is about the sacrifices and compromises the autobtos make trying to rebuild cybertron, and in practice is about a weak willed useless jackass, his jackbooted best friend, a well meaning non combatant who means well but also is judgey as fuck, and Starscream, who easily outmanuvers them because a sock full of quarters with googly eyes on it could out manuver them. Wheeljack and Blur are also there and they are delightful but not used nearly enough . I gave the book an honest chance and was badly disapointed, and I gave it a second chance despite utterly dreading this.. and was once again disapointed. RiD is just not very good.

Now i'll give some caveats: the book DOES get better in season 2, with a fresh cast and premise that work decently. It's not on MTMTE"s level.. but I respect writer John Barber and IDW for seeing what they fucked up and course correcting. Barber's work isn't my forte, but the guy isn't terrible an does have his fans for a reason, I just prefer More than Meets the Eye and Windblade more, with Windblade being a second, much more succesful stab at IDW doing an intrigue on cybertron book, one i'll defintely cover at some point. It helps Windblade got most of the standouts from this book as supporting cast, but it's genuinely good and worth your time. None of this makes season 1 GOOD, by any stretch, but I wanted to get it out of the way that YES the series gets better. But you can also largely skip season 1 or read the wiki without loosing much for either RiD Season 2 or Windblade.

That being said.. Season 1 is a mess. It wasn't that pleasant to re read despite it's bright spots and it took a while to get through, an utter chore to slog through this one. One of the only bright sides is it taught me I CAN review a whole series in one post again.. just probably in smaller doses than my last attempt with new teen titans, which was great but just about killed me. So other series I dislike like All New All Diffrent X-Men, Dan Slott's fantastic four or Jason Aaron's avengers are now more within my grasp to actually tear apart at some point.

For now though let's focus on THIS disapointing series, see why it is and also talk a lot about how much this version of Bumblbee sucks and this version of Starscream fucking slaps.

Do You Have Any Clue What Happens Now?

Like more than Meets the Eye, Robots in Disguise kicks off with the Death of Optimus Prime, a one shot setting up both series and dealing with the aftermath of Chaos, the big event that ended the previous era of IDW and allowed a soft reset for this one.

So as a quick recap since it's been a long time since I tackled this issue: The War is Over. At long lost the Autobots defeated the evil forces of the decpitcons after all of them were combined by an elder god into one giant deciptigod and Megatron disappeared after hyjacking it.

The problem is what comes next which is a great hook and part of what makes MTMTE works: the war is over.. but unlike most transformers stories that get to end the war, we see what happens now everyones free.

The Autobots take command.. but it's not going wella s Optimus Prime finds out: the planet has reverted to a primal state and thousands of civlians, dubbed nails by the autobots and something the nails aren't fond of, have arrived and the vast majority of them want the Autobots to fuck off their planet.

The Nails.. are one of the biggest wasted opportunities of Robots in Disguise. The IDEA is good: a bunch of bots who either fled one of the two sides or managed to opt out entirely return and aren't happy with the planet or military leadership. It's a concept with a lot of depth as on the one hand the autobots have a point

While the Nails had every right to nope out of a war they were tired of, the Autobots fought long hard and lost a lot to get to this point and blaming them for something that's objectively not their fault, the planet going bonkers, isn't remotely fair. On the other.. the nails have every right ot want the planet back and to want a part in it, and to want leadership that isn't just the autobots.

The problem is the conflict is handeled with the subtley of a sledgehammer and thus BOTH sides come off as assholes: The Autobots make up an embarassing faction name for them, push them around and Prowl goes into a creepy tirade about how this isn't "Their" planet and they didn't fight in the war and later sics the deciptcons on them afte rthey agree to get explosives put in their brains.

The Nails Meanwhile spend the start of the sreies, especially the death of optimus prime bitching at the autobots, treating them as facists, and treating them all like they were complicit in the senates corruption, which only gets more galling after season 1 of MTMTE as most were fully against it.. they just couldn't do anything about it. Neither could you guys. It dosen't help they HANG OPTIMUS PRIME IN EFFIGY for the crime of STAYING AROUND ON A PLANET HE JUST SAVED.

The lack of nuance makes me just.. not care about most of both sides: The Autobots come off like their trying to consolidate power and remain in charge because they feel owed it, while the Nails blame them for everything. We COULD have had a good story abotu trying to perserve the past while acknowldging it's flaws and making a better present, but instead it's just the nails either whining or making entirely valid points that the autobots, mostly prowl, try to police brutality away because they can't accept they shoudlnt' be running things.

In the middle of all this Perciptor examines the matrix and finds a map, with Drift seeing it as a map to the mythical knights of cybertron and wanting to go on a quest to find it. Rodimus agrees, while Bee wants them to stay here and be miserable dammit because he is. While on paper Rodimus is running away from his problems in practice.. he defintely is but makes a valid point: Why SHOULD he stay on a planet that doesn't want him. And when Ultra Magnus joins with them, he makes a valid point: finding the knights could find something to fix cybertron. While Rodimus' hopes finding the knights will fix everything is a pipe dream, those are Rodders faviorite kind, their not wrong to want to find a solution that isn't just "Try and make this work" and forcing people who genuinely dont' WANT to help you to do what you say isn't healthy. This isn't a war for all time: it's just a disagremeent about what you want to do now your free of the war.

Optimus ends their squabble by giving them each half the matrix and fucking off, deciding to shed his former mane and his planet. The Lost Light leave despite Bumblebee's bitch crying.. and then seemingly blow up.

And this is where RiD begins, our cast is barely holding Cybertron together, aren't adressing their problem and now they assume the lost light is dead. So what does this add up to?

Okay TECHNICALLY this isn't true: Bumblebee sets up a state funeral for the bots, which is Starscream's first big platform to worm his way into high command, and Wheeljack brings him up once... but really you could take this subplot out and replace the big shindig with something else and nothing would change.

In contrast the messy takeoff... is VITAL to More Than Meets The Eye: the explosion it causes sends a good chunk of lost lighters to the planet bellow, brings skids on board when they investigate the planet, and brings the sparkeater on board to set those up for much later. And that's not even getting into how the opening arc of season 2 follows up on it, which i'll save for when we get there. Here.. they just sorta assume their friends are dead, don't bother investigating or thinking that MAYBE a ship with a quantum engine did some weird shit. It's to the point that when Optimus is told during his sub plot, his response... is to not remotely buy Rodimus could be killed that easy and assume they'll find them eventually. Which.. they do.

There's also just.. legistics. I know this is a pair of comics about giant robots, science isn't strictly followed nor should it be. But if the lost light exploded.. there would be debris. And they HAVE plenty of ships. Someone could investigate. If the Nails think the autobots REALLY commited this sort of execution, as their said to outright suspect including their rep in the main cast metalhawk, then .. why would NONE of the thousands of bots with functioning space ships look into it. Or the deciptcons once their brain explode chips are turned off. It feels like an excuse to just have the two not interact.. which they already had being out of range and with Blaster spending the season getting coms up and running again.

Anyways the series proper mostly follows Autobot high command as they try to run this planet/prevent anyone else from doing so. Like the lost light exploision this is a possibly intresting hook... that's utterly bungled. They do do things with it.. but they don't do them well. And the best way to get into that is with the characters starting with their supreme leader

Bumblebee: He's Tried Nothing and He's All Out of Ideas

The idea of Bumblebee being forced to take charge of the autobots is a great one. Tranformers has gone to this well three times i'm aware of, and it's a concept worth exploring taking what's essentially the team's kid brother and forcing him to take the throne and see if he can make it.

IDW's last attempt before this wasn't great, with Bee making a deal with the goverment that backfired horribly, and generally acomplishing nothing. So trying AGAIN.. was a smart move. It was worth a second try.

Unfortunately... Barber entirely bungled that second attempt. Bumblebee is TECHNICALLY leader of cybertron.. but really dosen't try to lead. He lets prowl do whatever he wants and whatever prowl wants is usually some form of police brutality, he argues with metal hawk but tends not to have an argument other than "the autobots aren't all bad mkay" or "All decipticons deciptisuck", and he overworks poor sweet Wheeljack, fostering all their super science shit on him and being mad when the guy is doing work of his own. It's VERY transparent in every scene he's in Bumblebee wants peace with the Nails not because it's the right thing.. but simply so the autobots can hold onto the planet. While the Nails are often written as overreacting assholes, as the book goes on they mellow out and most of their actions are entirely... justifable. Their horrified Prowl put bombs in the decipticons brains, they don't want police brutality, they want to actually elect a leader.

Every move Bee makes is to keep himself in charge despite not having a single fucking idea what he's doing. I could buy him as a leader if he tried.. leading: Tried finding homes for the Nails, making actual negotations with the decpticons, send out a party to go tame the primal planet so they can expand iacon , actually hammer out a government. There's a LOT to building a whole new world after a war, it's the reason Hamilton got an entire, incredibly gripping act out of all the nation building. But instead RiD just ignores the intresting idea of rebuilding cybertron's goverment and how it governs itself from scratch and just focuses on Bee whining or various things that happen for the plot. And by doing so it makes Bumblbee and those loyal to him come off like power grabbing assholes who care more about being appricated for fighting the war and less about making a better world to live in or even making the world LIVEABLE.

What makes this so galling though is how the narrative treats bee: characters talk about his "great vision" failed or say he might win the election. That last part is Prowl/Bombshell playing Bee, more on that in a minute, but most of the cast talks his ass up when really he's just a guy way in over his head, which could be intresting to explore.. but they just.. DON'T. Instead we just follow a bland dithering jackass as he fucks up till eventually someone smarter, with more charisma and an actual plan takes his place. But before we can get to them.. let's talk about the most punchable face in Autobot high command

Fuck Prowl

Yeah I tried to make a clever title here, I really did.. but most attempts lead to a storm of profanity as I genuinely detest this version of Prowl. And as a reminder like bumblebee it's JUST the IDW comics version. Animated Prowl slaps. Prowl's G1 deisgn is great. I'm sure there are other prowls who don't suck all joy out of a page when they show up or are the poster boy for why we need police reform despite doing a police on a whole other planet. I"d like to meet them. But this prowl is one of my least faviorite characters in fiction. In fact I can't bleivei I didn't add him to my jjall before now.

Welcome Home Prick!

Now I will give one caveat to this character: Part of the problem is the multitude of writers: James Roberts, who wanted Prowl for his cast, wrote prowl as a giant asshole who could never let the war go and got two people killed with his overlord scheme. Nick Roche wrote prowl as a scheming asshole who paranoidly plots. And tha'ts not even getting into his asshole characterization in books BEFORE this era.

John Barber.. dosen't walk either of these back, but wants Prowl to be a complex symapthetic figure, someone who is a calculating draconian asshole.. but who was driven there by his betryal by spike in the previous ongoing, and who badly WANTS to do the right thing. The problem is rather than make prowl a layered intresting character.. he instead comes off as an asshat who constantly tries to justify the horrible shit he does as "for the greater good"

It's not helped that Prowl's first scenes in this era leave a truly terrible first impression: The first things we see from prowl are

Him bitching about the nails and being absolutely LIVID at their suggestion the autobots leave the planet, not because it's a stupid unfair suggestion, but because he feels OWED the planet and was also once nearly one himself.

Conscripting the Decipticons into his own private army he uses to try and supress a riot from the Nails, instead making it ten times worse and only not getting anyone killed because Optimus steps in.

In MTMTE, trying to convince Chromedome to stay so he can use his ex boyfriend to do mnemosurgery, something Chromedome VERY much dosen't want to do, mocking his current boyfriend and then flipping a table like a petulant teenager when Chromedome walks out on his ass.

Using Arcee as his own personal hit squad , having her assitnate ratbat then trying to act like he didn't ask her to do that.

It's.. nigh impossible to come back form all of that and Prowl really dosen't. He spends the season brainwashed by Bombshell, in part thanks to trying to blackmail Chromedome and forgetting "oh yeah he can do mind things to me".. and NO ONE notices. He's horrified by that fact, but it's VERY telling that the only action of his that was hintingly out of character.. was telling bumblebee he could win the election. GENUINELY supporting his friend instead of trying to talk over him... is something that was a HINT he was brainwashed and the only thing people felt off. Said brainwashing also feels like it came out of nowhere, with not the slightest hint, and feels like a way to soft reset the character... which then fails as he spends season 2 once again out of his head... and once again in a way that isn't remotely out of character. I don't blame prowl for what he did under bombshell for most of the sries, he was brainwashed. But it's DAMMING that he did enough in ONE VOLUME before being hypnotized to earn my ire. More than Meets the Eye dosen't HELP nad IS a diffrent writer.. but even under Barber he's just the worst and I don't look forward to seeing more of him during Dark Cybertron and beyond. I DO look forward to seeing him hurled off a cliff.

All Hail Starscream:

Taking a break from pure, unyielding rage for a second, let's talk about something the book does right. I may be giving John Barber a LOT of crap this review.. but I can't deny he writes the best Starscream. There are other great starscreams from the hilarously over the top unsubtle 84 version, to the compitent but still hilarously shady animated verison and i'm sure i'll only find more as I watch more shows. Starscream rocks. But this one takes all that and asks a question: What happens when you take Starscream out of war and put him where his lying and scheming are an asset and his bad past is a non factor if he can lie hard enough: Politics.

While the autobots drown post war, trying to find their place.. Star scream swims like a majestic dolphin. Granted he's a Majestic Dolphin who still gets shit on a lot as it's starscream and everyone knows not to trust him and he has to work hard for his schemes for the most part... but he's still FAR more at home here than he ever was trying to usurp megatron. With the Decpticons, might made right: Megatron was on top because he was a great tactician, sure, but he was also capable of kicking anyone's ass who dared defy him, and had a death squad just for making a gruesome example out of anyone who betrays or tries to leave the cause. While Starscream was strong he couldn't muslce out megs or the various destructive douchebags he hired.

In contrast on Cybertron post war... he simply has to outthink and outspeak his opponents, who even if they weren't mostly fuck ups, still aren't really public speakers. Starscream first weasles his way into command with a few simple moves: He goes to the autobots in good faith, which they rightfully don't buy, tells them about a planned false flag attack by ratbat.. then once he's foiled, steps onto the stage at the funeral the attack was taking place at and boldly offer shimself as a formerish decipticon representive. While Bee never trusts the guy, for good damn reason, from that point on it simply dosen't matter: he's in the room where it happens. And often.. he's somehow the voice of reason. He's always got an angle... but it dosen't change the fact he's right or he gives Metalhawk someone to back him up. Not only that some of the bonds he forms are genuine. Metalhawk genuinely warms up to screamer and Wheeljack is the only one to try and make amends, to the point that after my boy gets horribly injured, Starscream makes sure he's getting healed and genuinely feels bad the poor guy got hurt.

On top of that once the media is restored for iacon, Starscream plays to the cameras, with his biggest play since stepping on stage coming in the annual: The Autobots find a titan in the desert while looking for lost comrades, trying to keep starscream out of it as Bee is deathly aware finding them would be some very easy bipartisan points for Screamer. Screamer shows up anyway... and when Prowl's croney keeps a gun traind on him and metalhawk, Screamer easily turns the situation on them: He invites a TON of Nails to watch and essentially make it so if he gets shot, it's over for the autobots, then goes down himself. It's here he gets a stroke of pure luck: The titan they've found... deems Starscream as some kind of chosen one. This isn't necessarily a good thing long term... but it does mean a lot especailly to the religious. Now normally this would mean nothing or months of trying to find proof.. but because Screamer's crowd crawled down to witness the titan once it was safe.. they all heard it.

At this point.. Starscream's basically won. The only genuine compettion he'd have in an open election is metalhawk, but either way the Autobots have basically lost control and all that's left is to wait for the elections. Sadly for Screamer he soon has a no good very bad day as Megatron comes back and Starscream spends the next arc as a hostage after going to rant at his former boss, with Megatron not remotely interested in compromise.

That said Starscream has survivied being humilaited plenty and while the Autobots are autobusy dealing with Megatron and the decpeticons, not to mention prowl combining with devestator, Starscream reminds us who he is: He kills Metalhawk, later being genuinely regretful.. but acknowledging Metalhawk was, genuinely, the only thing in his way. He was the only oponent in his rise to power left: Megatron was dealt with, the autobots had shot themselves in the foot 87 times, he feels terrible about what he did.. but killing Metalhawk looses him a friend and someone who belivied in him.. but gains him a Martyr. In the aftermath Screamer basically declares himself LEADER OF THE DECPTEICONS.. ER CYBERTRON, everyone backs him and he gets rid of most of his major opposition by casting out anyone who won't revoke their faction. A few autobots like Blurr stay behind... but msot of the cast we know are cast into the wildnerness and it's their own damn fault.

We get one last issue with Screamer , a spotlight that shows this job will be hard as while speeching got him INTO the job, he has to solve actual problems. Three Monologues is the best issue of season 1 as Starscream rants at megatron in stasis, reflects to Metalhawk's corpse and genuinely opens up to an injured in stasis wheeljack. Not only that Starscream also gets his own starscream, Beast Wars Faviorite rattrap. I'm mixed on this version of him: the character is very well written, being a slimy weasel whose looking for an angle and who gets rid of a local altruist for star scream by framing the guy. It creates an intresting relationship too as Starscream recognizes the behavior of his own.. and takes Rattrap into his administration. As Screamer perfectly puts it the guy Rattrap framed.. was a liablity. He liked star scream, genuinely belivied in the titans... but as Starscream brilliantly puts it altrusim.. is unpredictable. Rattrap on the other hand is who Screamer used to be before he became god emperor of cybertron starscream the first: he can not only deal with that, but it gives him a minon.

Before we leave Screamer I also just want to say.. I fucking love that he put on the crown from transformers the movie. I've always loed that he just... had to have a little crown for himself and that even if this version is less of a joke, he's still starscream enough to need a crown. It's also a striking visual in this context: Starscream is in control of cybertron. Primus help us.

Metalhawk: Don't Let him Be Misunderstood

For any longtime fans of this series or MTMTE, this section is probably going to be controversial but on second read.. I didn't hate Metalhawk. He's still obnoxious at first, he is the one saying "oh well you should piss off the planet you just fought hard to save from a giant Decipticon monster god man". It's easy to hate him as he's constantly telling our heroes they shoudl fuck off.

Yet on reread.. him doing that is WHY he's entertaining. See when I first read the books it was a few years ago. When I can't remember, my memory catches a lot of things but some things are lost to the enternal bog that is the back of my head, but it was before 2020.. and thus before George Floyd's untimely murder. As a result a lot of what the autobots do read diffrentlY: what they did ALWAYS came off as awful: even when the protestors are slamming the doors down, sending out jackbooted thugs is NEVER a good look, and the way Prowl talks about nails and treats them as second class citzens for simply wanting a voice is ... all kinds of chilling. Prowl sees himself as a police officer, and he certainly is.. but the worst kind, the kind most are who will gladly do shady shit to persue what they think is justice and oppress civlians because their "above them. "

So while said realizations about policing and the various police beatings of innocnet protestors made Prowl somehow even worse.. they made Metalhawk better as a LOT of what he's asking.. comes off more resonable. His wanting the decpticons free was kinda bonkers to me when i first raed it.. but now I entirely get that maybe putting bombs in defeated enemy combatants is you know.. a war crime. If you really want to put decitpcons who are dangerous away.. use a jail. Give them a trial. It's not great but putting them int what's basically a gheto that also oused to be a gun is horrible.

Metalhawk simply wants a voice and change for his people. He grows out of throwing the autobots out, being far more willing to work with them than they are with him and making plenty of valid points. He evolves as a character from a whiny asshole who disrpescts the autobots to seeing them as fuckups.. but ones who, prowl aside, are GENUINELY trying, with Bee planning to basically let Metalhawk takeover after the big fight at the end of season 1 before Starscream put some holes in that plan and also metalhawk. He's often the only person speaking up for a bunch of people who greatly outnumber the people in charge yet have to listen to thir bullshit, something that's become more and mor erelevant as congress fucks up more and more . It's hard to boo him when he's right: the autobots probably SHOUDLN'T be running the planet. They shoudln't leave, but they shoudln't be in charge. They shoudlnt be using deciptcons as easy soldiers and shoudln't keep the bombs in their heads now their vastly outnumbered. He's the voice of reason in a calvlcade of jackasses and a schemeing asshole. He's still annoying at times.. but it's really hard to hate a guy who grows out of his most annoying traits and ends the comic betrayed by the most obvious cantidate, something he only didn't see coming.. because he genuinely thought his friend had changed.

Wheeljack and the Rest: Robots in Disguise has a large cast, but most of the best players are off to the side, Starscream excluded. So let's talk about them.

My easy faviorite is one I wish Roberts had gotten like he wanted, the man the myth, Wheeljack. now I like Wheeljack in general due to his design, a nice faceplate, a unique head, it helps him stand out among the standard faces most autobots have.

Wheeljack seems to be one of the few Autobots genuinely trying for a better tommorow: he tries to make peace with starscream, and is frequently working on other projects before bee yells at him for not being avaliable to put out all his fires. He's kind, considerate and also a genuius, getting a nice moment in the sun when he sneaks into a decipticon ship and fidns out their up to some shit, then escapes the horde. I mean Metalhawk DOES save him in the end, but the fact he did most of this himself and gets both of them out himself is impressive. Wheeljack sadly just dosen't appear a ton and ends the season getting his head crushed by megatron. He does come back during season 2 and quickly becomes besties with Windblade, something we'll get to eventually, so good for him.

Blurr is a close third in the characters I like and is the only one of the autobots to really explore the ideas MTMTE was, the idea of "what do you do with your life next". Blurr does help out at first but his mounting frustration with prowl leads to him noping out, only helping out to try and find Ironhide. He decides to open a bar, much like Swerve , and his is a nicely diffrent joint: while Swerves is basically the cheers of transformer,s a place to forget your worries, hang with pals and get into hyjinks, Macadams, a regular location in most transformers place is that.. but also a melting pot, as Blurr soon makes a bunch of former decepticon friends including Sky Byte, a nail who has a great outfit, with him gladly defending his patrons with his good buddy jazz, whose barely in this comic for some reason despite, as always, being fucking great.

Next up is Ironhide. Ironhide does get a pretty meaty roll, as his recent ressurection has convinced him he's immortal and he's getting flashes of a possible future.. .one where the autobots are gon by cybertron thrives. Naturally everyone assumes he needs help instead of you know.. remembering that they followed the matrix for so long because it had robot magic or the giant stygian being made out of a dark god and 80 decepticons they just fought a month ago. What i'm saying is "I can see the fuuuuuuttttttreeee" isn't that farfetched at this point. So Ironhide goes to explore the wilderness with my boys the dinobots who sadly are all kinda douchey here.. but they still kick plenty of ass. The group disappears for a while after a signal drives my dino boys mad... but naturally they show up just in time to be the calvary in the finale. Ironhide is great.. they just don't really focus on him and I wish they did. Same with the dinobots.

Finally out of the ones who actually do stuff we have Arcee. Arcee... is a lot to unpack despite her short screentime. If you'll recall, and if you don't i'm so sorry for reminding you, Simon Furman's approach to the most prominent female transformer.. was to make it so she was FORCED to become female by a mad scientest, a tonedeaf, transphobic take brought about because Simon Furman hates the very idea Cybertronians have a concept of gender.. despite writing male prounouns into this continuity, thus showing they do just .. all male.

So how did Barber tackle this transphobic mess Simon Furman had saddled him and other writers with?

Yeah he just straight up ignored tha tpart for the first 21 issues. Arcee does mention killing Jhiaxus, the mad scientest in question, again, and again and again, but otherwise as far as RiD is concerned, Arcee is just an autobot who was tortured a lot by Jihaxius and who Prowl uses as his hit squad. She gleefully agrees to this... but it's clear she has no real sense of purpose. She DOES get a well done spotlight issue after the Autobots are cast out, with her wondering if the endless violence is worth it and deciding to join the autobots, wether they want her or not. It's a BETTER characterizfation than Furman's, a person with clear trauma trying to find out "what now"... but that big black cloud of "I done a transphobia because I hate them girl robots" hangs over it. It's an elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. I don't FULLY fault barber for it as IDW could've wanted him not to and it was a subject that would need a through, out in the open exploration. IDW was clearly willing as they supported Chromedome and Rewind and would continue to support out and out queerness in this franchise, Barber just wasn't ready yet and thus kept Arcee out of focus. He'd TRY to deal with this later at least but it's still super uncomfortable for now.

Decepticon wise.. they don't really get to do much till the season finale of sorts: they mostly stand around in a gun barrel and plot. Ratbat, one of my faviorite casettes of Soundwaves, is very prominent, trying to weasle his way into power early on.. but then Prowl goes and kills him and i'm sad. Soundwave , my boy, does fuck all till the build up to dark cybertron while Shockwave is in the shadows preparing said event , mostly done in optimus primes subplot. It's a real waste too as having more deciptcons actually try to reform or at least integrate into society would be neat, instead their just mostly canon fodder after a whil ewith a subplot about one seeing what prowl did going nowhere.

So speaking of Prime

The Thrilling Tales of Orion Pax

I haven't mentiond it till now but RiD has it's own isolated subplot ala the scavengers, just one that only lasts this season. Optimus left after the one shot and while he calls himself orion pax as does this segment... i'm just calling him Optimus like everyone else: Optimus goes on his own thrilling space adventures with his crew of Garnak, an ork like alien, Wheelie, who met garnak while stuck on a planet where time was constantly in flux and is still traumatized from it and Hardhead, a minor character turned Optimus buddy.

The trio had captured Jhiaxus, the mad science guy but got some criptic info. Jhiaxus quickly breaks free and while Optimus intended to just soft retire, he can't deny the danger he or his apprentice turned master Shockwave presents, and thus teams up with this motely crew. The adventures are only across three issue but each is fun, the characterrs ar eintresting if underdevleoped and i'ts neat to see Optimus like this: Grappling with his past, unsure of his future, and unwilling to be Optimus again despite everything pulling him toward it. His characterization also takes a nice turn as he was a minor prick in the return of optimus, calling the circle of light a cult. Douchebags yes, cult no.

There's really.. not much to say here anyalis wwise: these adventures are well done and I wish they were the main focus, and clearly Barber agreed as Optimus takes over next season, if sadly not bringin most of these guys with him.

THey are vital for the build up to Dark Cybertron, with Jhiaxus and his goons being Shockwaves main minons and hinting at his mission.. which Shockwave happily outlines in a spotlight later.. well happy isn't an emotion he experinces but he still outlines it: He's been seeding 13 powerful ores, tying in previous things like super energon and such, and the final and 13th one.. is ressurection, bringing people back under his control. His plans feel vauge in theis build up, but involve jhiaxus taking a titan right to cybertron, the ores, and beating up soundwave, with Prime persuing.

The only complaint I really have is the art, which isn't bad, it's just dark, cold , and muted, and not really my forte, working better to represent the dark universe during the crossover. It's not bad it's just hard to make out the visuals at times is all.

So with that we have one last bit of pre-crossover buisnes sto attend to

THe Old Man's Back Again

I did mention Megatron came back right? Because he did. And since he has a big roll to play in the crossover and in MTMTE season 2, let's talk about where Megs has been. Megs was left half dead after becoming a giant pile of decpticons, coming back towards the end of season 1, having what's essnetially the season finale early and the rest of the issues are spotlights dealing with the aftermath.

Bumblebee's reaction is exactly what you'd expect

I mean it's not unwaranted: it's megatron. He was a walking death machine and a brilliant strategist. It's not wrong to expect that even shambling and half dead he's plotting something.. because that's EXACTLY what he was doing. Bee DOES decide to spare him for a trial after being talked into it, but reluctantly and with Megatron guarded to hell. Unfortuantely.. the person in charge of his security is prowl who has a bit of a brain bug at the moment, having taken out omega supreme.

Yeah turns out a LOT of the seasons events were Megatron

The field driving people into rages was him, bombshell was working for megs the whole time, and Shockwave was working with him.. if only till it was convient enough to bail and go work on his own scheme. It's a MILD stretch and I wish it'd been se tup better.. but like Starscream it's hard NOT to enjoy Meg's presence: he brings a genuine threat and meanace, pinning our heroess to the wall and barely being beaten. He's not as layered as he was about to become... but he's still a clever villian who scoffs at Starscream's bitch crying, not WANTING a compromised cybertron but an empire. He ends up loosing but barely does, having still caused a ton of damage and left enough of a gaping woom for Screamer to take the crown. While this Megs is pretty simplistic, he still serves as a good foundation for what's next: a man who genuinely THINKS he's doing the right thing and that peace really is possible if you throw away those pesky civil liberties and his plan and near victory underline HOW dangeorus he is, why the lost light needs to nerf him to put him on board... and why Cybertron will BADLY need his help in the mess to come.

So that was Robots in Disguise and this review.. was difficult to say the least. It's not a great book but it has flecks of greatness in it and later seasons of this side of transformers and other series would pick up on that

Next Time in March: DARK CYBERTRON BEGINS. Bumlbee and the Bumblefucks try to protect a cyberton that hates and fears them, Rodimus goes into a stygian hole in space time, and Shockwave's plan hopefully makes sense.

[prpfz]

😼hi !! idk how well this emoji will work bc im on my laptop but !! im 22, they/them and i mostly do oc x canon or oc x oc !! currently i am very interested in oc x oc, especially f/f !! i do double up in anything i do if that's your speed and i don't have any specific plot in mind atm bc i'm writing this off like two doses of nyquil and a migraine but ! im mostly interested in something small town, maybe with themes of southern gothic. i write basically exclusively poc characters and i know its wild to have to mention but if you do not like that !! dont contact me <3 id also like anything horror themed, esp to do with haunted houses and cursed families !! my fandoms currently for oc/cc are: - the hunger games (finnick odair/my oc, i play anyone) -stranger things (mike wheeler is preferred and i play anyone but lucas is my special baby) -house of the dragon/game of thrones (anyone, honestly, and i play anyone but my best are aemond and rhaenyra) -gen v/the boys (my preference is jordan li! and i do write anyone with a special fondness for sam) -the secret history (i prefer camilla for f/f! i do not write henmilla because i.. dont want to) i write canon/canon as well but i am very picky about the ships <3 so feel free to approach me but i cannot promise a yes. i am comfortable with any themes but i do enjoy dark ones and do not care for smut. i have a special fondness for morally grey and grotesque characters so bring me your weirdos ! you can contact me on discord @. carnivorelambchop im currently shadowbanned but dont be scared to reach out ! if i have ghosted you before i am SO sorry, i unfortunately do have memory problems so i do unintentionally do that at times so it is up to your discretion if you would like to dm me <3 i am ghost friendly so if you have ghosted dont be scared !

carnivorelambchop

[howlsmovinglibrary]

Hello Beautiful! Do you have any book recommendations involving morally grey characters? Characters that initially do not like one another and the fall for eachother? Or any book recommendations in general? Thank you!

...beautiful?

anyway, onto the actual question!! I'll be honest, I'm more of a simp-to-lovers kind of girlie than enemies to lovers, but I do have some morally grey protagonist recs!

The most obvious and what you've probably already read is The Cruel Prince by Holly Black, for morally grey queen Jude and the man who's life she ruins (why were you a coward in the final book, Holly? let the two of them be awful and hot together)

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black (morally grey, enemies-to-lovers, vampire stand alone and my favourite Holly Black protagonist bc she's got that Final Girl in her)

The Broken Earth trilogy by NK Jemisin (morally grey kind of by necessity, there's an apocalypse occurring - this book is also got the most triggering content of the list so bear that in mind before checking it out!)

The Young Elites by Marie Lu (for morally grey AND two very messy romances. the protagonist's superpowers means she inherently destined to be a little bit sketchy. I was surprised how dark this went while still being YA.)

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen (morally grey protagonist and a nice dose of the kind of harmless enemies to lovers where actually they're just sniping at each other.)

The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan (the characters aren't morally grey overall it's more... morally grey stuff happens to them. they are existentially morally grey, I'd say).

For characters that do not like each other but fall for each other, my go-to is always Uprooted and Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (this is the 'why do i like you, I'm so annoyed that I like you, you're so fucking insufferable do it again' kind of enemies to lovers.)

[spiritedstars]

Inspiration [ Elucien ]

Prompt: Modern AU | Aspiring writer Elain Archeron is looking for some inspiration for her new novel when she happens to meet the perfect man for the job. | Originally posted on 05.10.2022

Genre: Romance with some humor and a dash of spice 🌶 Warnings: Lots of feels?

It wasn’t strange that she, little ‘ole prim Elain, was sitting in a booth at this high-end downtown bar with a notebook and pen, people-watching. Her laptop would’ve been too obvious and she didn’t want to get distracted on her phone so an old school notebook and pen seemed like a better fit. 

So far, she'd been propositioned by three older gentlemen. While flattered, Elain wasn’t exactly sure what about her simple black dress screamed hooker. Maybe it was the lipstick. It was a gorgeous red. 

Even though it was a Wednesday night and she hadn’t expected too much action, Elain’s eyes continued to watch the room carefully. She needed all the details she could get to properly set the scene for her next novel. 

Up-and-coming romance author Elain Archeron was on a new mission with her next book. She’d written several sweet romances that had her readers on a fluff overdose sprinkled with a little steam here and there. But now, she wanted to step out of her writing comfort zone for a bit and...spice it up. 

Her next book would be a spicy mafia romance.

A small giggle escaped her as the excitement of a new plot and characters bubbled inside her. Writing had become as glorious of an outlet for her as gardening. Nesta working in publishing had given her a great doorway into the writing world and she would be damned not to take advantage of this new passion. 

So, she had dived into Pinterest and created moodboard after moodboard of what she was envisioning for this book. The plot would be a little gritty, a little darker than her usual books but Elain knew exactly how the story would unfold from start to finish. She knew how her characters would meet and be thrown together. Most importantly, she knew the tropes that would bring this story to life. Elain planned on destroying her characters in the best way and then gluing them back together again with love. 

All it needed was just a smidge more inspiration. A dose of experience to really help her write from the heart so she could turn a morally grey, murderous asshole into a swoon-worthy lover that fucked like a god. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned the room again, tapping the pen to her chin until her gaze zeroed in on a gentleman sitting at the bar, alone.

And Elain felt her heart skip a beat. 

She had noticed him as soon as he walked in and had tried not to stare at him too hard but in reality, that’s all she’d been doing since he arrived ten minutes ago. Her eyes would take in details of the room and then eventually find their way right back to him.

Currently seated, Elain knew without him needing to stand, that he was tall and well-built. Judging by the way his dress shirt hugged his magnificent back and broad shoulders, he was quite a man.

The moment she had seen his face though, she knew he was the one. His features were sharp and elegant, handsome in a way that had knocked the wind out of her. The scar she had noticed on his face when he had walked in did nothing to make him any less attractive. In fact, all Elain could think about was how perfect he was.

She bit her lip and continued to discreetly watch the beautiful stranger as he sat, frowning down at whatever message he was reading on his phone. His sleeves were rolled up to expose toned forearms and Elain felt her face flush at the way he picked up his drink and brought it to his lips to take a sip and oh, was Elain Archeron starting to feel things.

The very vanilla sex she last had with Graysen many months ago clearly did as little for her now as it had done when she had it. 

Pulling out her phone, Elain texted the group chat.

morons<3

Elain: I found him.

Rhys: That’s not ominous at all.

Cassian: Shitsen? I told you I accidentally shoved him into a locker at the gym the other day. He’s not that hard to find. 

Rhys: Because he’s ugly. You can spot him a mile away. He’s probably still in there.

Feyre: How was it an accident if Rhys was filming it?

Rhys: I was trying to film myself flexing at the gym babe. It was for you <3

Cassian: *barf emoji* Cassian: But also you can smell him a mile away too.

Rhys: Musty.

Cassian: Gnarly. 

Nesta: Can you two shut up for a moment, please?  Nesta: Elain, please don’t tell me you’re stalking someone.

Elain rolled her eyes at her phone. Typical of them to turn the conversation elsewhere or think of her as a creep.

Elain: I am not stalking anyone. I’m at a bar. I found the ONE. The man who will help me with my writing inspiration.

Feyre: ...Elain pls don’t approach a strange man for inspiration.

Elain: I’m at the Sunshine and Rose. It’s a fancy place. He’s a fancy man. Could be the mafia man I’m looking for!!

Cassian: ...Rhys is right here, Elain.

Rhys: True. I’m offended you didn’t think of me. I am a mafia man.

Elain: Well, you’re not MY mafia man.  Elain: Plus you’re not hot. Esp since you’re sleeping with my sister.  Elain: You’re really gross <3

Nesta: I knew this was about your book. Don’t do anything crazy. I can’t publish it if you cause a scandal. Do you even have your NDA?

Rhys: Still offended but valid reasoning. Rhys: And you’re wrong. I’m VERY hot.  Rhys: Feyre says so.

Cassian: I say so too, bro. You’re really hot.  Cassian: Besides, you know I’m your muscle guy, Lanie. I’m offended you didn’t think of ME.

Rhys: so honored to be validated by a sexy beast like you bro. Rhys: I’m also offended on Cassian’s behalf. We’re both offended.

Elain: Suffer in silence pls <3 Elain: Yes, I have the NDA. I am merely notifying you of my whereabouts. Elain: He’s so hot. I think I will take him home. Elain: I hope to update you after I have spent the night located beneath him!!!!

Cassian: Right on. Get that D!!!!

Rhys: Make sure you have a condom. If he says he doesn’t have one, he’s lying.

Nesta: Elain. No. Nesta: Why are you idiots encouraging her?!!!!

Feyre: Elain don’t go home with a stranger.

Elain: Elain YES. Elain: Also, don’t pretend the two idiots in this chat weren’t strangers when you took them home.

Cassian: Hottest night of my LIFE.

Rhys: Second that. I was wrecked by the sheer beauty that is my Feyre darling.

Feyre: RHYS. Can we focus on my sister trying to creep on a stranger at some bar?

Rhys: I really want to focus on you instead.

Cassian: Nesta destroyed my body and soul that night. Should’ve filed a police report but I enjoyed it too much.

Nesta: Cassian.

Cassian: Sweetheart.

Feyre: SIGH. Can you PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER?? Feyre: Elain, take a picture of his face at least.

Elain snorted then sent a kissy face emoji as her final text. She straightened, her eyes immediately zeroing in again on her target who was now watching whatever was playing on the bar tv.

Standing, she smoothed down her dress and grabbed her purse then made her way towards him.

She would be casual about it. Smooth. She would just slide onto the barstool next to him and dazzle him with a smile. Then make him talk to her first. 

Sliding up to the counter, Elain stood with a barstool between them and snuck a glance at her beautiful stranger. A jolt of pleasure coursed through her body when she found him staring back. Elain gave him a pretty smile then turned back to the bartender. 

“Hi Jerry!” she greeted with a smile. “Sick of seeing my face here yet?”

“How could I when it’s so pretty?” the older man said with a laugh and Elain chuckled along. “Let me guess, a little rosé while you do your research?”

Elain pointed at him with a grin. “You know it! My favorite kind of pink drink.” 

The bartender walked away with a chuckle and Elain took a breath, pretending not to feel his gaze on her. She fiddled with her napkin for a moment, then looked up to find the beautiful stranger watching her curiously. She arched her brow and the man glanced down at his drink with a small smile before looking back at her.

“Hi.” 

“Hello.”

They glanced at each other quietly for a moment, her cheeks heating lightly at the curve of his sensuous lips. 

“I couldn’t help overhearing what Jerry said to you,” he began and angled his body to face her. “If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of research are you doing that requires you to be at a bar on a Wednesday night?”

Elain willed her body not to shudder at the way his voice washed over her like honey. His voice. 

Oh, she would need to describe that very explicitly. 

“Well,” she began and curled a strand of hair behind her ear, angling herself to face him as well, the empty seat between them. “I’m a writer. I’m trying to set the scene for my novel.” 

His face lit in interest and Elain took a moment to openly admire him. Up close, he was even more handsome than she imagined. His eyes were such a distinct color, she was itching to grab her pen to describe them. The scar was even more striking up close and Elain desperately wanted to touch it. 

“Ah, I see. What kind of stories do you write?”

“I’m a romance writer.” She said with pride and grinned at the chuckle that slipped from his lips. 

“Are you trying to write about two strangers meeting at a bar?” he teased. “Love at first sight?”

She rolled her eyes with a good-natured smile. “No. I’m writing something very different.” 

“Is that so?” he asked and leaned back to observe her. “So the story isn’t going to be about me then?”

Elain laughed. “That depends.” she said with a cute head tilt. “Has anyone ever told you, you look like you could be a mobster?”

The man stilled and blinked then let out a hearty laugh. “No.” he replied, amusement lacing his tone. “But what if I was an actual henchman in the mob? You just put a target on your back.”

Elain snorted and shot him a look. “A henchman in the mob wouldn’t say he was.” she replied knowingly. “You probably do something boring in marketing.”

“PR actually. Not quite as boring.” he said with a smile and raised the drink in salute. “But we can pretend I’m your mobster. I’m already wearing suspenders.”

Elain laughed, shaking her head with a smile. “All you need is a gun holster and a cigar then the look would be complete.”

He waved a hand. “Noted. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll show you the complete look.”

“Is that so? So eagerly giving away your secrets.”

“Sure. You’ve already uncovered my identity. I can’t risk my reputation now. First impressions are everything.”

Elain rolled her eyes, pleased he was following along with her conversation even as he was joking. She watched him as he watched her, doing her best not to shudder under his gaze. She only took her eyes off him when Jerry returned with her drink.

“So.” her handsome stranger started. “What’s the name of your mafia man?”

“That also depends. What’s your name?” she asked boldly and was pleased to see color bloom on his cheeks.

His lips curled into a smile. “I thought you said the story wouldn’t be about me.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself now.” she said and he grinned. “All I asked was your name.”

“My name is Lucien.” he said. “And yours?”

“Elain.”  

“Do you always just walk up and start talking to strangers like this, Elain?”

“You’re the one who started talking to me.” she said with a cheeky grin and Lucien couldn’t help his laugh.

“Fair enough.” he said and raised his drink, taking a sip as his eyes roved over her body. “Couldn’t really help myself.”

Elain smiled, taking a sip of her own drink before she tilted her head sweetly and said, “Since you can’t help yourself do you mind if I pull out my notebook and jot down some ideas. If I don’t write them down, I will lose the thought.”

Amusement colored his face and he waved a hand. “By all means.”

Grinning, Elain quickly took out her notepad and pen, and then so shamelessly, her eyes cataloged every single inch of him. She savored every detail of his facial features, the way he was dressed, and the way he held himself. She watched him as he watched her until finally, Lucien was the first one to look away with a laugh.

“It’s the scar, isn’t it?”

“Oh, the scar is beautiful but it’s your eyes I’m focused on,” she said and quickly jot down her initial thoughts. “They’re a lovely shade. You also have a great nose.” 

“You’re giving off real weird vibes right now.” he finally said, his cheeks a lovely shade of red that Elain was eager to describe. “But I can’t say I’m not into it.”

Looking up from her notebook, Elain flushed with a laugh. “Well, it definitely helps that I’m pretty.”

Lucien grinned. “It absolutely helps.”

She fought back a grin but failed when he shot her a knowing look. “You flatter me, sir.” she said sweetly. “All I’m trying to do is write me a good ‘ole fashion mafia romance. I can’t help what kind of questions emerge to get inspiration.”

“Mafia romance, huh?” he asked and leaned in, a finger tracing the rim of his glass, and Elain’s eyes immediately followed the movement. “What kind of inspiration are you looking for then?”

This made Elain pause and watch him silently for a moment. She couldn’t exactly just blurt out that she wanted him to fuck her so hard she saw stars. To manhandle her just a little bit. 

Her eyes flickered to his very nice, very big hands then back to his face. 

That would be weird. She took a sip of her drink.

“Well,” she began carefully. “My romances have typically been tamer than what this one is but the market is really seeing an increase of love for more…intimate romances. I want to give it a shot.”

Lucien’s brows rose and Elain watched as a shit-eating grin formed on his face. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” she said slowly. “You see…I’ve only had minimal experience in that department.”

His brows rose. “Impossible.”

Elain nodded somewhat sadly. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“What kind of men have you been seeing?” he asked in such an offended tone, Elain flushed.

“Well. It was one guy.” she replied. “And he was more boy than man.”

Lucien’s face blanked and it took him a moment to speak. “Do you mind sharing his name? And home address?” he said calmly. “Asking for a friend.”

Elain laughed. “And you say you’re not a mobster?” she said and Lucien had the audacity to shrug with a small smile. “But no need. My sisters and their partners gave him enough grief. I’m pretty sure he has a restraining order against us.”

“If he had you and put you in a position where you have to look for inspiration elsewhere, he needs a good thrashing.” he replied. “Please, let me speak to my associates about him.”

Elain bit back a grin. “Your associates.”

“Gotta check with the big guy before we order a hit.” he said, having no issues grinning widely and Elain couldn’t help the hearty laugh that escaped her. 

“Well now, that’s very nice of you to offer.” she replied then paused before Elain gave him a coy smile. “But it’s not really the area I need inspiration for.”

He watched her silently for a moment and even as she felt her cheeks flush, Elain kept her gaze locked on his, watching as his eyes darkened. Then a slow smirk blessed his beautiful face.

“So if you don’t want me to use my associates to give someone a good thrashing,” he asked quietly. “How can I help you with your inspiration, Elain?”

Elain bit her lip, cataloging every detail of his toned body seating opposite her, every article of clothing, and every inch of his handsome face. Was she bold enough to tell him exactly what she wanted from him? Was it safe? Or was she being insane?

“Cat got your tongue?” he said, his voice low. “Or are you just trying to find a good way to ask me to fuck you senseless?”

Elain straightened and clenched her thighs together as she gaped at him. He clocked the movement and his smirk widened.

Letting out a chuckle, he took a sip of his drink and Elain watched him swallow, thinking about how she’d really like to lick his neck. 

“All you have to do is ask, love.” he continued. “I wasn’t planning on going home with a beautiful girl tonight but I am more than happy to change those plans.”

Elain watched him carefully. Did she? Should she?

“Well.” she stated and cleared her throat delicately. “What were your plans then? Being alone in this bar on a Wednesday night? One would think you’re up to no good.”

“I’m an angel.” he said in that low tone that told her he was anything but.

“Sounds like a sweet, sweet lie.”

He laughed. “Can’t a mafia man blow off some steam in a bar once in a while?” he said with a shrug and Elain rolled her eyes with a smile. 

“So just letting off some steam?”

“Yes. But I’m happy to find myself doing other things instead.”

Elain tapped her glass, her heart beating wildly as she watched him watch her. Good lord, she was already sweating. Was it because she was sex-deprived? Was it all the mafia and smutty books she’d been reading lately for inspiration that was getting to her? She was really going to ask this strange beautiful man to fuck her. 

Granted, he seemed eager. Which was great for her ego but…

“I want to be very clear about something.” she finally said. 

“Yes?” he asked with a raised brow and cocky grin. 

“This is all in the name of research.” she declared. “And research only.”

“Of course.” he said. “I’ve gone home with pretty girls for much less noble causes.”

Elain’s lips twitched. “And you’ll need to sign an NDA.”

His brows shot up. “An NDA?” he said. “How very Christian Grey of you to have me sign a contract.”

“To protect myself and you.” she said simply. “I can’t have you running around telling people I was propositioning you.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” he said with a smirk.

“Need I remind you that you asked me how you could help me?” she said with her own little smirk. 

He hummed and Elain smiled.

“If I never mentioned I was a writer and looking for inspiration, would you still want to take me home?” she asked boldly. It wasn’t like she could embarrass herself further at this point. “Be honest, my feelings won’t get hurt if you say no.”

“Elain,” he began and her heart thumped at the curve of his lips when he said her name. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t have already had you in my home doing unspeakably delicious things to you.”

She flushed in delight. She couldn’t help it. Elain knew she was pretty but after her horrible breakup and the way Graysen had broken down her confidence in herself, it was nice to hear it. 

Also, she really needed to write that line down.

“Anyone ever tell you, you have a way with words?” she asked and he grinned.

“A high compliment from a writer.” he replied. “But I also have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“We could've just flirted, went home together, and had a great time without you telling me about the writing part.” he said, his finger tapping against the glass. “Why tell me?”

Elain’s brows furrowed. “Because you have a right to know. I like being honest about these things.” she said. “Granted, as a writer, anything I hear or see is up for use as inspiration.”

He hummed softly, watching her. “Have you written about your ex?”

She flushed, frowning slightly. “Only once but shitty ex-boyfriends are common in romance reads.” she replied then shrugged. “And it was more about the way my character felt than about her crappy ex.”

Lucien nodded sagely. “Understandable.” 

Elain straightened suddenly. “Has this weirded you out?” she asked and blinked at him with wide eyes. “I usually curb my weirdness to close friends and family only, I just haven’t interacted with a real man like this in a while.”

“A real man?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone and Elain promptly wanted to die.

“I mean — “ she started with a flush, taking a quick sip of her drink. “I’m a writer and reader. I spent a lot of time with fictional men.”

“Ah. And those are infinitely better than real men, I take it?”

She gave him a small smile. “Most of the time.”

It fell silent between them and Elain watched him as he watched her. Now that she’d finally stopped talking, embarrassment was slowly starting to catch up to her. She had fought with herself tooth and nail to not feel bad about herself and her quirky personality but at times like this, it crept up. When she forgot herself and forgot that not everyone liked her as she was.

Graysen had ridiculed her so much about her writing. Once he had gotten to know her, he pretty much ridiculed everything she did but especially her writing. Anytime she’d ask him a question or about his thoughts, he never had anything nice to say. He always laughed at her and her silly little ideas.

“Stick to your plants, it’s what you’re good at.” he had sneered at her when she had first told him she’d written a book. Elain had been so excited to share. It had been so hard to keep it a secret from everyone but he had only given her an unimpressed look and said, “Isn’t Nesta the one into books? Keep to your own thing, Elain.”

Maybe she’d gotten carried away in this little game. Elain had only wanted to have a little fun. She could use her imagination and Pinterest and other books for inspiration. She didn’t need to keep embarrassing herself. This was weird. Sure, she wanted to have some of that good sex that everyone else keeps talking about for once but she could probably do it without all this. She could’ve just gone with him without saying a single thing and —

“Show me the NDA.”

Elain blinked, focusing back at the very handsome man across from her. “What?”

He gave her a simple smile. “Either you’re overthinking this really hard or…your mind went down the gutter faster than mine did.” he said. “And if it’s the latter, I assure you, my gutter is much, much worse.”

Elain’s cheeks heated. “Big words for a mafia man that’s not a mafia man.” she said with a small chuckle.

Lucien’s lips curled into a smirk. “Elain.” he started. “The moment you sat across from me with your pretty face and pretty dress, I knew we would have a good time together.” She watched as his finger tapped the side of his glass and then met his gaze. “You seem like the kind of girl who likes being told what to do but doesn’t know it yet.” He leaned forward and her breath hitched. “Lucky for you, I love telling people what to do. Especially in my bedroom.”

His hand left his glass and instead of letting his finger trace the rim of his glass, it was now lightly tracing Elain’s hand.

“And to answer your earlier question, I am not weirded out.” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I find you and this entire conversation fascinating.”

Elain blinked, her gaze on his hand touching hers and she wondered if one could orgasm from hand touching alone. “Right.”

“You’re clearly passionate about what you do.” he said in that charming voice of his, gently turning over her hand so that his fingers could slide across her palm to her wrist and settle on the pulse point.

“Very passionate.” she said quietly, her eyes still on his long, beautiful fingers.

“Then give me the NDA. So I can sign it and take you home.” Lucien continued. “Where I can fuck you the way you deserve.”

Elain’s head shot up and she met his eyes. “That’s awfully straightforward of you.”

“Just as straightforward as you aimed to be, I imagine.”

She finally remembered herself and shrugged, a coy smile blooming on her face. “I just came here to look for inspiration.”

Lucien flattened his hand over hers and Elain flushed at the way her hand was dwarfed beneath his. “I daresay, I can help you with that.”

She swallowed. “And how are you so sure of that?”

Lucien glanced at her for a moment then slowly slid off his barstool to stand before her. He towered over her slightly and Elain relished in the way he stood so close. His hand left hers and instead, his fingers found their way to gently lift her chin to meet his gaze.

“I’m sure of that because,” he began quietly and leaned closer until he was a breath away from her lips. “I felt your pulse jump when I touched you.” His hand slid from her jaw down the column of her neck. “I feel it in the way you swallow.” That same hand cupped the back of her neck and Elain shuddered beneath his gaze and touch. “And I guarantee if I slid my hand beneath your little black dress, between those lovely thighs, I’d find something hot and wet waiting for me.”

Elain’s lips parted in surprise, her skin hot all over. His words had slid across her skin and down her spine and good lord, if he only knew how soaked she’d become. Gooseflesh erupted on her skin when his thumb traced the column of her neck and she tried not to be too obvious in inhaling the scent of him. 

“What do you think of that, Elain?” he said with a devilish smile that she knew would be impossible to describe because it was distinctly him. This stranger she met in a bar. This stranger that felt like no stranger at all.

She was thinking she wanted him to lay her right here across this bar and have his way with her. Elain was thinking she’d probably let him do things to her she never thought she’d let a man do. Except for this one. Because Lucien sure as hell seemed like the type to want to do those things to her. 

“I’m thinking,” she began and swallowed, her skin heating at the smirk he gave her. “That I’d really like you to kiss me.”

“It’s a good thing you mentioned that,” he replied quietly. “Because I’ve been dying to smear that lipstick.”

With the hand holding her neck, Lucien tugged her forward and devoured her. Elain whimpered against him, against his surprisingly soft lips as he kissed her, his kiss bruising — hard — a claiming and she let him claim her. Her hands found their way to his suspenders and she tugged him closer, her grip tightening when his free hand cupped the back of her head and his other hand slid to trace the column of her neck again. When she felt his tongue, Elain eagerly opened for him and Lucien stole kisses as he stole her breath. He kissed her, his mouth nipping, biting, and imprinting his lips on hers. And when Elain had fully melted against him, fully surrendered to his mouth and tongue and hands, when he had her gripping his suspenders tightly enough that her knuckles had turned white, did Lucien finally pull away.

He most definitely had smeared her lipstick, she thought as she glanced at him in a slight daze. Half of her lipstick was on his lips. He had the audacity to grin wickedly at her.

“Now that I’ve satisfied your request, should we be on our way?” he asked calmly as if he hadn’t just scrambled her brains with that kiss. She hadn’t been kissed like that since — since well, since ever. 

Elain blinked, catching her breath, her hands still clutching him tightly. She wanted to let go, she really knew she should but the feeling of his body beneath those suspenders caused her to shudder.

“I need to take a picture of your face.” she finally said. “For my sisters.”

He smiled, his hands smoothing her hair back. “Would you like me to grab your phone? Your hands seem a little occupied.”

She flushed and aimed to let go when his hands settled over hers. “Don’t let go just yet.” he said quietly. “I like your hands there.”

If possible, her flush deepened. And, oh she was feeling a lot of things at the moment. She kept her hands where they were and said somewhat hoarsely, “My phone is in my purse.”

Lucien’s lips twitched and he moved a hand to slip inside her purse, the other still covering the hand locked on his suspenders. He held up her phone to unlock it with the Face ID then glanced at the screen, his face lit up in amusement. 

“I assume the group chat titled Morons is the one you’ll be sending my picture to.” he said, his thumb stroking the back of her hand still holding on to him. 

Finally shaken out of her stupor, Elain cleared her throat and licked her lips. Her lips that still tingled just a little from the force of his lips on hers. She flushed and suppressed a giggle. “Yes.” she said and released one suspender, leaving her other hand happily held hostage beneath his. “It’s my sisters and my brothers-in-law.” 

“Let’s take a selfie then, shall we?” he teased and Elain pursed her lips, willing herself not to smile. Or launch herself at him again. 

He turned his back to her, and kept her hand locked beneath his so it looked like Elain was hugging him from the side. Raising the phone, Lucien grinned and Elain couldn’t help her own smile at the camera. Snapping the photo, the two inspected it together and Elain laughed at the clear evidence of their makeout.

“Oh, they’re going to have a hoot with this.” she mumbled. “Send it.” 

Lucien tugged her into him closer so that she hugged his back and he glanced over his shoulder at her. “You okay with me opening your group chat?”

She would be okay with him opening anything, but most especially her legs. Rather than embarrass herself further by saying that, she only nodded and watched him open the text chain, chuckle, then attach the image and send it.

Elain: *attached image* Found my mafia man ;)

“I didn’t say that.” she objected and Lucien twisted to face her with a knowing look. 

“You were absolutely going to text that.”

She was. But she wouldn’t admit it. Squinting at him, she opened her mouth to respond when her phone pinged and Lucien arched a brow.

“Do you want me to open that?”

“Nope.” she said quickly as several pings followed. “They can’t be trusted to behave themselves.” Finally, tugging herself away from him, she held out her hand for her phone. “Especially with how many texts are coming in, these assholes could be saying anything.”

“Well, it hardly seems fair that I can’t read what’s being said about me.” 

“I think we can find other ways to fill our time.” she said and instantly felt the shift in him.

“Ah, yes.” he said quietly. “Your research.”

“Yes. My — research.”

Lucien chuckled lightly and Elain watched as he glanced at her, his thumb coming up to gently graze her cheek. “Are you having second thoughts? Do you need me to kiss you again?”

Her cheeks heated as she watched his expression. She was very nearly ready to have him take her right then and there. “No second thoughts but I definitely, definitely think you should kiss me again.”

“And where would you like me to kiss you, my lady?” he asked, his voice dropping low and Elain had to swallow hard. She was past embarrassment at this point. She wanted to feel and be seen and touched. And god damn did she want this man between her legs in whatever way he was willing to be.

“Everywhere.” she answered. “I want you to kiss me everywhere.”

Lucien’s grin was wolfish at her response. “Well, aren’t you a good girl.” he said in that voice she would have a grand time describing. “You gave me the exact answer I wanted to hear.”

~ 

morons<3

Feyre: Oh…oh wow Elain.

Nesta: Well, that was fast.

Cassian: YOOOOOO

Cassian: RHYSSSSSS

Rhys: yo isn’t that Spell-Cleaver?

Cassian: iT’S FUCKEN LUCIEN

Cassian: love that guy he’s hilarious

Rhys: Holy shit it is Lucien

Feyre: You guys know him???? Feyre: Is he a normal person???

Nesta: He already has her lipstick on him. Nesta: Is she going to be safe with him?

Rhys: Oh yeah. He’s a good dude. Rhys: I remember him from uni days Rhys: We did business with his company a while back too. Straight forward, cool guy. 

Cassian: We see him in Az’s bar sometimes.  Cassian: But yo. Wasn’t he like, a hoe in college? Cassian: Elain is about to get her world rocked.

Nesta: CASSIAN.

Feyre: Cassian no.

Cassian: WHAT.  Cassian: I’m just saying based on the rumors we heard 

Rhys: Elain is def going to have a good time.

Cassian: Lulu is foxy in bed

Rhys: Gentleman on the streets

Cassian: freak in the sheets. Cassian:: AYYYYY

Rhys: AYYYYY

Feyre: I hate you both.

Nesta: I’m going to stab both of you in the throat the next time I see you.

Cassian: *smirk emoji* *heart emoji*

Nesta: *knife emoji*

Feyre: At least he’s hot. He really does give off mob vibes with that scar.

Rhys: You can’t say that Feyre darling. I’m right here.

Feyre: *middle finger emoji*

Nesta: I wonder if he’d be willing to be on the cover if he shows Elain a good time.

Feyre: I think so. He so willingly took the picture and gave his full name.

Nesta: He is attractive. His face would sell it. Nesta: Feyre. Nesta: FEYRE. Nesta: Her hand. Look at where her hand is.

Feyre: Oh…OKAY ELAIN.  Feyre: I like that he’s wearing suspenders. That’s attractive.

Rhys: Cassian. My feels are hurt bro.

Cassian: my feels are hurt too bro. they’re just ignoring us.

Feyre: Nes, take out tomorrow for deets?

Nesta: Yes, I want Chinese while grilling her.

Rhys: I’ll bring the drinks.

Nesta: You’re not invited. 

Cassian: Can you order me the dumplings?

Feyre: You’re also not invited.

Nesta: Sisters only. *X emoji* Nesta: I’ll bring us those nice face masks.

Cassian: I want a face mask.

Feyre: no<3

Rhys: But I love me a good face mask too.

Nesta: No. *middle finger emoji*

Cassian: Nes, if I let you peg me, can I come for face masks and chinese?

Nesta: for fucks sake cassian.

Rhys: HAHA

Feyre: god damn it Cassian

Rhys: I mean, Feyre darling if that’s what gets me a face mask and the tea…*smirk emoji*

Nesta: you’re both disgusting.

Feyre: *eyes roll emoji* No. Feyre: unless? *side eye emoji*

Nesta: FEYRE

Elain had finally stumbled home the following afternoon after being fucked six ways to Sunday and found her sisters waiting for her with face masks, food, and wide eyes. Elain only grinned sheepishly and slumped against her door.

“I’m glad you’re alive.” Nesta said dryly and Elain waved her off with a hand, her grin wide on her face.

“That good, huh?” Feyre asked with her own grin.

“Yes.” she breathed, still thinking about Lucien and what he had done to her. At the way he had kissed her and touched her and fucked her. It hadn’t been good. It had been great.

Elain couldn’t remember a time she had been so enthusiastic to have someone fuck her. Then again, she had had only one partner, and even in her fantasies, it hadn’t been like that. Elain bit her lip as a blush bloomed on her cheeks, her mind drifting back to a night like nothing she’d ever experienced before…

~

“I’m going to take, and take, and take from you, Elain.” he had whispered in her ear darkly. “And then my god am I going to give you. You understand?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to be a good girl for me?” he had asked her while his hands caressed her bare skin. “Will you be the best girl for me? Because if you are, I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll see stars.”

“I’ll be the best girl.” she whispered and shuddered when his lips had kissed and licked their way down her neck, to her collarbones, and then to her exposed breasts. Her hands had come up to immediately cover them, flushing lightly as he looked up at her, quirking a brow in question.

“They’re — they’re small.” she said and Lucien shot her a look so disapproving, she thought he’d spank her. 

He had spanked her later on but at that moment, his hands had cupped one gently, and giving her one last look, his mouth descended on the other. Elain’s moans were breathy as he sucked and squeezed her breasts, switching between the two. He had only pulled away to ask her in a husky voice, “You like my mouth right here? Because I love these pretty things so much.”

A strangled cry was the only reply she could give when he bit down on one gently and squeezed the other. Then switched and did it again. The sound that came out of her mouth had him pulling away with a smirk.

“Such sounds coming out of that lovely mouth.” he whispered, kissing the valley between her breasts. “You’re going to take my cock in your pretty little pussy and come when I tell you to?” he asked softly, sliding his hands up and smoothing back her hair. “Because I want to fuck you very, very hard, Elain. May I do that, please?”

She knew he could feel the wetness that pooled between her legs at the words and resisted the urge to arch against him. “I’ll take whatever you want to give me.” she breathed.

“You’re just an angel, aren’t you?” he whispered and left a light kiss on her lips. “So ready for me to use you and then take care of you. You want me to take care of you?”

“Please.” she nearly begged. “Please take care of me.”

“Then spread your legs a little wider for me, love. Let me see you in all your glory.”

And take care of her he had. 

It was like Lucien was made for Elain and Elain was made for Lucien.

After he had worshipped her between her legs, he lined himself up to her entrance with her legs around his waist, and Lucien watched her face as he slid into her the first time. And that moment, the moment he had filled her up to the hilt…Lucien knew this was different. Elain knew she wouldn’t be the same. The way he fit her had Elain never wanting to be without his cock again. And by the gods, had she wanted to feel how he fit her without a condom and have his come spill out of her.

Which would be insane of course, considering they had only met that evening. But these feelings, these intense emotions. Oh, she had all the inspiration she needed. 

It had only gotten better from there. He had flipped her over and feasted on her again before taking her hard and fast from behind. 

Elain never thought she’d be the kind of girl who enjoyed her face being pushed into the mattress like that but when it was Lucien’s hands holding her and his cock fucking her, she found she liked it a little too much.

And she also found that she liked it even more when he talked to her. In between their rigorous activities, they took breaks to chat and get to know the person they were baring themselves to. 

Elain found she liked Lucien and the way his mind worked a lot. Lucien found he felt the same about Elain.

And then Elain found she really wanted to suck the cock that made her feel so good. She had crawled toward him on his bed and draped herself across his legs, blinking up at him innocently.

“I want to make you feel good too.” she had whispered and Lucien had smiled at her, brushing her hair to the side.

“And how do you want to do that?”

“By taking you in my mouth.”

“No, you need to phrase that better, love.” he commanded softly, his thumb sliding across her bottom lip. “How do you want to make me feel good?”

“By sucking your cock.” she answered breathlessly. “I want you to come in my mouth.”

“It’s a good thing I want to come in your mouth too, princess.” he replied and then sat back, a king on his throne of a bed. “Show me what a good girl can do with that pretty mouth.”

And Elain certainly had, savoring the way he swore, the way his hands had tightened in her hair, and the way he barely held it together while her tongue played with him, especially as her own wetness dripped down her legs. Lucien had spilled in her mouth with such intensity, come had spilled down the sides of her mouth. She had swallowed as much as she could, like the good girl she wanted to be for him and Lucien’s grin had been feral at the sight.

Shortly after, he had spread her legs and returned the favor with his mouth and fingers then flipped her over and took her from behind a second time, pulling her up, his fist wrapped around her hair. “Look at your pretty swollen cunt, flower.” he had growled in her ear as she whined and panted to the rhythm of his thrusts. “You’re doing so good. It’s a perfect fit for my cock.”

“Please.” she had begged. As if he hadn’t been giving her everything she wanted and more. 

Lucky for Elain, Lucien had wanted to keep giving and taking. It was well in the AM that Elain had been fucked in every corner of his bedroom. She had come riding his dick and his face and his cock again, flopping rather unattractively on his bed with a little whimper after what she thought was the final fucking.

He had chuckled, his hands gently caressed her back and Lucien had paused for just a moment then smacked her plump little ass firmly. He had given her just one moment of reprieve then — a ragged cry escaped her lips as he pulled her hips back towards him, pulling her ass up the way he wanted. “I’m sorry, flower. I thought we were done but then your pretty little pussy —” he started as his hands slid to play with her and Elain couldn’t help the rocking of her hips against his fingers. Or the little needy moan that escaped her lips at how sensitive she was. “ — looks like it needs my cock one more time.” He had whispered and pulled his hand away so he squeezed her ass instead and slid it soothingly up her spine, his other hand fisting his cock slowly. “I love my hand on your throat,” he continued in his ear, and she shuddered against him. “But I love your face pressed in my sheets and the sweet, sweet sounds you make. What would you like?”

Elain had only arched her hips further for him and turned her head to meet his gaze. “Whatever you want to do.” she breathed. “I’m all yours.”

With a wolfish grin, Lucien had pulled her lips to his for a searing kiss and thrust into her to the hilt once more. He had told her she had one more orgasm in her and just like a good little girl, she obliged. 

Elain hadn’t remembered her name or anything about herself for the rest of that night. She only knew that she was in the arms of a man who had her body trembling in need and pleasure. Pleasure he had given her all night, pleasure he had given her the morning after he had made her breakfast, and pleasure he had given her right until he sent her home.

She had kissed him goodbye, her hand on the doorknob when his hand had slid up her dress and he had pushed her panties to the side, rubbing his fingers in the wetness of her heated center. He thrust two fingers inside her with a pleased hum.

“One more time before you go.” He had whispered in her ear as she braced herself against his door and rocked her hips to match the thrust of his fingers. “So I can savor your taste until I get you to myself again.”

She had made a desperate, filthy little noise as he played with her and pumped his fingers into her. He had whispered such dirty things in her ear and Elain had slumped against the door as she came with a choked cry. Lucien had only chuckled when he pulled away, his eyes locked on hers as he licked his fingers clean. 

Elain had left his house on shaking legs and her legs nearly started shaking again just reliving the memories.

“Well, shit. He must’ve really rocked your world.” Feyre said with a cackle and Elain blinked, her blush deepening as she finally remembered she was back at her apartment with her sisters waiting on her. Waiting on her to explain and not on her knees in front of Lucien and letting him do whatever he wanted to her.

Her sisters shared a look, both clearly holding back more laughs but Elain…well, she knew she had gotten all the inspiration she needed. Inspiration and maybe…maybe something more.

“Are you seeing him again?” Nesta asked, quirking a brow.

“For dinner tomorrow night.” she whispered. “And then for a date he’s planning the day after.”

“And more fucking, I presume?” Feyre asked, her lips twitching.

“Definitely more fucking.” Nesta added on with a snort at Elain’s flushed face.

“If I’m lucky.” was Elain’s reply and she straightened, feeling the effects of Lucien everywhere. “And I think I’m going to be very, very lucky.”

[tellywoodtrash]

My dad's been in hospital since last one month, we went through literal hell n only now things are looking a bit better TT, thus I thought of you sis..how are and how's your cat doing??any new fav itv drama?or are you still in love with Thai bls(as an AO3 reader I TOTALLY understand you)??I watched only one Pak drama named 'rah-e-junoon' recently only cause of The beautiful Danish Taimoor😍 it's not bad specially he with his love n obsession makes me wana SIGHHHHH😩😩😩 dreamily..also HAVE YOU SEEN JUNAID KHAN IN 'MAHARAJ' (not the Sethupati one) MOVIE??his n Sarvari's reels are everywhere and they are so Wattpad coded... reminding me of those period couples in novels😍😍 he's so dreamy..6'2" tall, nerdy, kinda awkward and has this soft boy vibes going on and did I tell you he kinda looks like Henry Cavill??and Rami Malek??😩😩 life hell ho jaye par tharak na jaye🤤 now tell me how everything is going on your end✨

Hi Darling,

I hope your dad is feeling better, and you are taking care of yourself too, friend! (Caretaker burnout is reallllllll and I am sending you all the strength and healing vibes 🤗🤗🤗)

ITV seems to be a closed chapter for me; the rapidly progressing degeneration of that genre is just notttttt inspiring any confidence (or interest.) The wholeass industry needs a major major shakeup. Same with Bollywood, nothing's really pulling me anymore. Laapataa Ladies (which I still haven't watched yet) is LITERALLY THE ONLY MOVIE calling my name in all of the 2024 releases. Junaid seems like a promising nepo kid; the Cavill vibes are definitely there. Let's hope that he picks good scripts and doesn't fall down the usual wormhole.

Things that I have been watching and enjoying in the past few weeks:

The Acolyte: I literally know/care nothing about the Star Wars universe, but Manny Jacinto. Enough said. I need to rewatch coz god his character has me going awooooooooga like a fuckin' cartoon wolf. I am obsessed.

Abbott Elementary: Giving B99-ish (but much more mellow.)

Modern Family: Just a rewatch (during my mealtimes)

Late Night with Seth Meyers/Last Week Tonight/The Daily Show for US election shitshow in palatable doses

Meet You at the Blossom: A chinese BL which is fulllllllllllly delivering on the toxic romance from the Tellywood of yore

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans: A thai BL that is again, giving v Tellywood romcom vibes (Gul Khan types), with not one, BUT TWO WHOLE ENEMIES TO LOVERS couples. Noice.

Love Sea: Ridiculously high heat/good chemistry; one half of couple is the greenest fuckin flag in the history of human existence.

My Love Mix Up (Thailand): My cutest lil kuchupuchu babies. I wanna put them in my pocket and squishhhhhhhh them allllll like a goddamn stress ball. Wholesome wholesome lil show that makes me feel warm and sunshiney inside.

4 Minutes: No real idea what's really going on here with the time skips and background crimes and shit, plus this show feels like an anxiety attack in audiovisual form, BUT I'm here for Bible Wichapas giving me morally-grey himbo with hilarious (to me) gay panic.

So yeah...... That's what I've been up to! Hope you and yours keep well, lovely. <33333333 And yes, keep that tharak flag flying high!!!!!!!!

[enigma-the-mysterious]

I like my men morally grey and a bit fucked up in the head actually. Give them an unhealthy dose of that generational trauma from colonialism

[cee-grice]

✨ hi!! welcome to my domain ✨

about me

my name's Cee, I use she/they pronouns, and I'm from Lithuania :) I write almost exclusively fantasy, often together with romance. Besides writing, I like to draw, so I may post some art later down the line, too. I'm trying to use tumblr more to mingle with the writing community on here, so I'm always on the lookout for more writer friends!! I also really like tag games, so feel free to tag me in any!! sign up to my newsletter to receive the first chapter of When White Crows Cry :)) my rather old writeblr intro

my works

WHEN WHITE CROWS CRY - an adult queer romantic fantasy set in a secondary world. It features a hard science-based magic system, an academical community as the ruling class, magical afflictions with no (legal) cure, and is primarily character-driven. It has themes of mental deterioration, bodily autonomy, death and grieving, the grey morality of science. For an actual summary of the story and more details, check out the links below: WIP intro Characters intros Worldbuilding Writing Art General WIP tag A CASE STUDY ON IMMOLATION - prequel to When White Crows Cry. An adult dark academia fantasy. It features pretty much the same as above, but is about scientific hubris, or, the rise and fall of prodigies. It's a dark academia focused on academia and its inherent consuming nature. Also has a good dose of human experimentation <3 For an actual summary and further details, check the link below: WIP intro General WIP tag

let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist :)

[himbo-in-limbo]

Kure Rain x s/o Rant! (New season spoilers)

[tw gore n bloody stuff mentioned]

In hype of the new season (that I literally just finished binge watching a couple days ago)

It got me thinking of my mans

That crazy bastard that I love sm Kure Raian

(I'm so fuckin mad about what was supposed to be his big fight when the coup happened)

Anyways anytime I read a fic of Raian x reader it's always the same-ish thing of the reader not fully loving the sheer brutality that Raian is

I can't be the only one that gets excited seeing him covered in blood! Like dawg if I saw him all nice n bloody like that with a sexy smile comin at me all nonchalant

Like "Hey baby~ did you like the bloodbath?" I'm jumping on him and making out right then n there..

I wanna be covered in the same blood ya feel me? (That's TMI probably..)

It's probably bc I'm a fan of gore or something but like you gotta understand that killing is not only his job ITS HIS PASSION

And him being an asshole is also part of it, sure you can try n convince him to not FULLY kill someone but honestly I'd say you have a 1% chance of succeeding...

It'd have to be a solid good reason tho

Not just cuz your his partner...

Even so! Odds are the person he's messing with is a stranger to you 😭 (if your not into him killing random ppl then maybe not be in a relationship with him)

He has few morals...which align with his assassin fams code but he's just a morally grey character

That's what's so hot about him honestly

You can't ever really predict who he'll spare and for what reason...

But you get to see his fine ass just deal with grown ass men like nothing is a treat all in it's own

Hell we don't even know how he'd act in a relationship bc he hardly ever shows interest in anyone like that! He likes scarring people to hell tho

So I'd wager if you "end up with him" expect it to be a big ol situationship...

It's best to not put labels on it bc if you pressure him with that he looks like the type to leave...

And even if you are sick of it! Just tell him up front that he can either make it official or you'll leave!

That might make him realize that he has something genuine with you OR y'all just break it off and you can find yourself a better partner

Bc lets face it 😭 he's....not the best

His familys great tho I bet they'd be all over you

Especially if you're cool with reproducing an heir 💀

If not hey their just shocked he was able to find ANYONE that would "date" him

Like really? Him? Okay...

Raian doesn't strike me as the type to care much if you leave him, tho if you did have a profound impact on him

I think he'd stalk you for a bit...you'd never know he's there btw

He'd totally stalk the hell outta your new partner tho...and if their no good he'll kill em with much thought..

He dose care in his own way :D it's just bat shit crazy

I feel like If Raian did have a canonical partner they'd have to be a bit cooky themselves ya know? 😭

N yeah he might not say much but he dose better expressing his feelings through acts of service or just in general sleeping with you

Bc again we haven't seen him interact with anyone like that or show interest at all!

So odds are him sleeping with people is a rare thing! (Demisexual ass...)

But yeah back to him fighting n stuff I feel like he'd be super happy if his partner was also excited about seeing a real blood bath of a fight

Like yeah probably not the best influence on him like that but asdhsjsnskk

Honestly I wouldn't be able to help it

He's like when ppl are in love with the horror icons

You love ppl like ghost face n Jason! There def not gonna stop doing what they do! N their hella crazy!

That's the vibes Raian gives me...

The only thing that's different is, I feel like the more years you spend with him he WILL calm down by like 10% and he may not go off on ppl randomly like when he was younger but he'd still do it on occasion...

[teine-mallaichte]

Day 22 @ailesswhumptober - prompt: Forced to hurt somebody else

On some days Charlie hates her role

CW: non-con drugging, inuury, reluctant whumper, dehumanisation, toxic environment, moral conflict, medical setting.

AiLessWhumptober List Complex 27

Charlie’s hands trembled as she examined the wounds scattered across Asset 84’s battered body. Under the unforgiving glare of the med wing's fluorescent lights, his pale, sweat-slicked skin took on an eerie sheen. His grey eyes—normally stoic, unreadable—now flickered with pain and something else, something buried beneath the surface, just out of reach.

“Hold still,” she ordered, her voice cold, brittle, clinging to the authority she had to maintain.

84 didn’t move. He never did. Even now, after his body had been torn apart by jagged metal, he refused to flinch. Refused to show weakness. But Charlie saw the tightness in his jaw, the subtle way his muscles spasmed under her hands. He was hurting—more than he would ever admit. And yet, she couldn’t acknowledge it. Not here. Not in Complex 27, where vulnerability was a death sentence.

Sometimes, in fleeting moments, she wondered what it would be like to know the assets’ names. To call them by something other than numbers. To see them as more than disposable tools. But what good would that do? There was no place for connection in this place. No room for compassion when every decision was calculated, every action rooted in survival.

“84 needs to be operational by morning.”

Colonel Carter’s voice echoed in her mind, her order cutting through the haze of doubt. They didn’t care that it had been less than a week since 84 was dragged into the med wing, barely clinging to life. They didn't care that the wounds were only just starting to heal, that he was still heald together by thread. They didn’t care that the rumors whispered he’d thrown himself over another asset, shielding them with his own body. All that mattered was the fact that he was still breathing. And if he was breathing, he had to be useful.

She dragged her eyes away from the fresh sutures lining 84’s torso, the patches of bruised flesh that hadn’t even begun to fade. Instead focing on the tray besiders her, laid out with the instruments of her trade: scalpels, sutures, bandages, and vials of drugs designed to force bodies back into action regardless of their condition. Each tool was a reminder of her role, of the cold efficiency she was expected to maintain.

“Sorry,” she muttered under her breath, a word she hoped 84 wouldn’t catch. Apologies were a luxury they couldn’t afford, a crack in the armor she had built to survive in this place. She drew up a dose of stimulant, the clear liquid glinting under the harsh light.

One sharp jab, and 84 would be functional. Not healed—never healed, not really—but functional enough to follow orders. To stand, to fight, to kill. That was all they needed from him. It’s what the Facility always needed.

It didn't matter that the drugs would rip through his system, pushing his body far past its limits. That the pain would be unbearable—worse than the physical trauma, worse than the jagged metal that had torn him apart. And when it wore off, he’d be even more broken. Likely to fall apart in the field.

That he would potentially even die.

84’s eyes followed her movements, their grey depths reflecting a weary resignation. He knew what was coming.

She swabbed a spot on his arm, the skin there already marred by countless injections. Her hand hovered for a moment, wavering, wishing for an alternative. The silence stretched too long, her hesitation too obvious. And in that moment, Charlie felt his eyes on her—not just passive, like usual, but watching, really watching. Maybe he saw the hesitation. Maybe he saw the conflict that she worked so hard to bury.

“Just do it.” His voice was hoarse, but steady.

Charlie took a deep breath, her fingers tightening around the syringe. 84’s steady gaze unnerved her, it was intense, probing. As if he could somehow see into her soul. She looked away, staring at the trey.

There was no escape from this reality—no choice but to follow the orders that kept her alive.

She knew it.

He knew it.

With a shaky hand, Charlie pressed the needle against 84’s skin, the sharp tip piercing through the fragile barrier of flesh. She fought the urge to pull back, to stop, to find some other way to heal him that wouldn’t feel like a betrayal. But the Facility didn’t allow for such luxuries. In this world, compassion was a weakness, and weakness had no place in Complex 27.

As the stimulant surged into his bloodstream, Charlie felt a pang of guilt rip through her. She watched as 84’s body reacted—a fleeting moment of tension as the drug coursed through him. His muscles twitched, then relaxed, and for a brief second, she thought he might grimace. But he remained stoic, the embodiment of the soldier he had been trained to be.

“Functional,” she whispered, almost to herself. “Just functional.”

The words hung heavy in the air, a bitter reminder of what they were all reduced to: tools to be used, mended, and discarded. No names, no identities—only numbers and ranks, each asset stripped of their humanity to serve the whims of the Facility.

This was their lives: a cycle of compliance, pain, and forced efficiency. She had a job to do, a role to fulfill, it didn't matter that she hated it.

[justkarama]

So I just got blocked by seeker again here's why

So we got into an argument about sienna Khan being morally grey which is not true sienna is a nothing character she's a character that barely has any actual build i don't even think she's actually ever alluded to by blake or Adam she's a brand new character that's immediately killed by Adam in her first and last chapter

Yet she's morally grey? We don't see how sienna leads the white fang we don't see how her methods actually help the faunes we don't see her philosophy we don't see how she properly contrasts ghira dose sienna Believe one day faunes and humans can live together

Sienna is a nothing character that doesn't contribute anything behind dying so Adam can become the new leader that is it sienna was wasted potential

I bring this up to seeker well he's like Adam didn't build the white fang sienna did no she didn't ghira did I don't know where seeker got that from

I said we only get to see Adam white fang not sienna beginning of the show Adam is the central figure in the white fang we see how he leads the fang from start to finish we don't see that with sienna we literally see more of Adam leading the white fang then sienna who dies as soon as she's introduced

I swear seeker is a fucking idiot and sienna deserves better

[living-undead]

14, 25, 26, and 30

Who is the most explosive when it comes to arguing? Who is the one who has to diffuse them? Zaria has this weird little thing we like to call a 'short fuse'. If you could imagine someone getting upset at something she'd definitely be the one to get upset at it tenfold. And every single time it happens August has to put on his 'too adorable to be ignored' pants and get her to calm down.

When they get into trouble what do they do? Who do they tend to turn to? I would say it depends on the type of trouble they got into. Usually though in every single situation there's a universal head swivel towards Grey. Grey is the brains, the moral compass, the mom, she might as well be revered as their god with how much they look up to her. And every single time it happens there's a resounding "Ugghhhh..."

Who roasts the others when they fuck up? Who gives out the best doses of reality and tough love? In terms of roasting? Morgan. If I had to describe Morgan as anything it's the embodiment of hating, roasting is what they do best. If nothing else, this might be their national anthem.

In terms of tough love and reality checks? August. As surprising as that might seem, August is actually such a great mediator just due to how OLD he is. He is the definitive eldest of the group. If there's any sort of serious situation where someone needs to be grounded on how inexperienced they are it'd definitely be him doing the grounding.

Make a meme that depicts your group's energy.

[eleemosynecdoche]

Fornit doesn't exist, why?

*putting on my ceremonial mesh tights and sparkly capelet*

*ascending before the altar*

*clearing my throat*

Because it sucks!

Or, putting it longer and with more jargon- Fonrit is a part of Glorantha where the fantasy content is so heavily impregnated with sensationalistic depictions of slavery in North Africa from an older generation of adventure fiction, and tied in with a heavy dose of Orientalism. So, it's got a lot of racism in the basic premise before you get to the Vadeli (and hoo boy, the Vadeli)! But of course, Glorantha has been consistently racist to varying degrees in its content, and there are plenty of places where you have to cut away a lot of material and yet I still go there. (Caladraland featured heavily in the game I recently finished playing).

Fonrit is, I would say, worse, but not so much because of the specific details, but rather because of a deeper problem- there's not much playable content when you look at it.

I don't mean that we need a Fonrit book, or Fonrit adventures. Looking at other places in Pamaltela, the Kothar/Jolar border zone, which is also filled with racist content left over from old adventure fiction and has little published material, has some immediately playable content. You have the Kresh and Arbennan confederacies in tension, preparing for war, you have (sigh) monsters marching from out of the desert, you have the fire people from beyond the desert, you have the goblins of the marshes to the east- there's an explosive metasituation to explore and play with. Even Kimos, which is just a "wow, cool fantasy backdrop material, bro!" set of paragraphs, has a nascent situation with the Gorgers you could explore.

These would require a lot of work to make playable, I would say, because there isn't that much material to draw from, but you have something to build on. It's much more work than even Ralios or Seshnela or, for fuck's sake, Arolanit, would require. Incomparable to near-instantly playable places like Fronela, Dragon Pass, the Holy Country, or the Lunar Empire, or not-quite-places like the Arkat/Gbaji content.

Fonrit then has the basal problem that there's just not that much playable content there. You have conflicts between two different moral abysses in the form of the slaver factions, and I just don't give a shit about that. You have the Pujaleg in Laskal, who are of course, denoted as evil within the fandom discourse, but even if you rightly discard that and kick it to the curb, it's just- what, a moral crusade with "grey moments" added in by force to make it feel less one-sided? Similarly, you have the Veldang, who are blue people racially oppressed by black people, and you could play a really grim situation about Veldang resistance and revolutionary efforts- turns out they're the descendants of the evil Artmali! And there's the Vadeli, still.

In order to make a playable situation, that is one with interesting and explosive tensions players and their characters can interact with, you have to essentially make your own Fonrit, or at least I would and I think the overwhelming majority of people would as well. Going back to the Vadeli, the Vadeli are extremely problematic as a part of Gloranthan content, because the extant material generally uses antisemitic stereotypes taken to cartoonish extremes- they're so blood-libel they eat their own children to stay immortal! They're so sexually perverse they use axolotl tanks from Dune!!

Now. When I said "problematic", I mean it very precisely, because when you dig down to the basal Vadeli content of Revealed Mythologies, you get a very different picture. And then pieces, for me, fell into place. Because knowing what I know about Greg Stafford, for him, at least for most of his life, Arkat's journey was modeled on a fantastical interpretation of his own life, coming from a repressed mainline Christian New England military family (horali from Brithos) and journeying through Hrestoli knighthood (reading Arthuriana at a young age) and then paganism (dropping out of Beloit College and becoming a hippie and self-professed shaman).

So perhaps, what we are meant to do by Stafford is read the Vadeli content in this way: the Vadeli are fantasy Jews, they are directly victimized by these antisemitic stereotypes applied to them by Malkioni fantasy Christians. Brithini dominion and Zzabur's genocide kept them reduced to the status of peasants who cannot defend themselves, with no soldiers ("horali") or priests ("wizards") and not even a general public memory of rulers ("talars").

This is problematic because this reading of the content, this interpretation, doesn't erase the antisemitic implications of the content, adds some more, and of course it doesn't carry an instantly playable situation in and of itself- what are the Vadeli doing that brings them into tension, with other people or with themselves? And beyond that, there are questions of who has a "right" to play such things in a roleplaying game, though I will be even more overly candid here than I've already been and note that I strongly believe that the concerns related to cultural appropriation in other media don't apply to roleplaying in the same way, and many don't apply at all.

(This is also a specific *possibility* or *option* for play, though I think it makes much more sense than making the Vadeli colonizers. Feel free to ask me about that, by the by, if you want a real rant on your hands.)

Anyways, I still don't have *that* much interest in doing the work necessary to finish the Vadeli to a playable state even given that. But I think that work is something I could see myself doing, in a more limited fashion, if the Vadeli entered into play on the outskirts, because I find some aspects of the Revealed Mythologies content affecting and interesting. And for Fonrit, I just think that there's so little interesting content in it that I have and would fireaxe it away in play (see the link for an explanation of that term) and just agree that it's not there. If anyone wants to go there in play... well, that's a subject for an actual game.

I have a similar but distinct set of thoughts about Prax and Kralorela, but I won't bloat this post up any further.

[notalostcausejustyet]

As I’m settling into this whole academia business, I thought I’d share one of my first ever tumblr posts. Which turned out to be the basis for my first ever college essay. I’ll share the essay here after it gets graded later this week. Cheers.

On asking questions and public spaces

This is what happens when you have to take a dose of Excedrin for a migraine only a couple of hours before bedtime, because CAFFEINE. Sorry, not sorry! (Please note that for those of us who are gifted with brains of the divergent sort, caffeine only works as it ought when you need it not to lol.) So. Libraries. Libraries are magical. Always have done, even before they became a safe haven for the dispossessed members of our society (which is a brilliant bit of miracle working in its’ own right) but why? And the simplest answer is the obvious one. Books of course. Digging deeper for context here is important though. Before the internet was a thing (yes I’m plenty old enough for that) libraries were where knowledge lived. And not just the academic kind, knowledge of the world outside of what is permissible. I frame a lot of things around religious trauma. And it might seem like old hat, but it was a fundamental (pun intended) part of what shaped me into who I am now. I am 40, I am tired, I am STILL learning who I could be without the behavior patterns imposed by that upbringing. My very small town finally got a library when I was around 10. It was about a mile and a half away. Close enough to bike to, which meant I could go unsupervised. And I did. Volunteered in fact, one of the first summers they were open. Which is important. Because, yes I could check out books, but there was never any guarantees that what I checked out wouldn’t be inspected at home. Volunteering meant I could stash something in the office to read while I was there. And this is where knowledge comes in. I had read every copy of the National Geographic we had at home, the entire second hand set of outdated encyclopedia Brittanica, every bit of Christian fiction I was gifted. I read it all. But it was, for the most part, a carefully curated version of the world. Safely inside the boundaries of my fundamentalist bubble. Allowed. And then for one brief and glorious summer, I had the world at my fingertips. Any book, about anything I wished. No novel was out of bounds, no titillating synopsis had to be ignored. I could read it ALL. And I did. I read about evolution, I read about the Big Bang, the conception and gestation cycle in humanity, I read about the history of medicine and colonization, I dove headlong into fantasy and science fiction and read about queer attraction and love for the first time as something beautiful instead of seeing it painted as something unholy and wrong. I read about morality. And not the starkly envisioned morality of religion, but questions, hard choices, true acts of courage and sacrifice, shades of grey and unimaginable nuance in the world around us. I learned that I was not alone in my discomfiture when I pitted the world I was raised in against the world as it actually was. Knowledge. Direct from the tap, and I drank from it as a person dying of thirst. That summer took the tiny seed of questioning in my mind and planted it firmly in the fertile grounds of my imagination. Each new book was sunlight and rain to a rapidly growing NEED to better understand. I took many years after that one before the tree planted there grew tall enough for me to climb to the top and really see the world around me. I didn’t fully escape religion and begin the work of healing until my late 20’s. But it never would have been possible without that one summer. Without that library. Access to knowledge and storytelling is one of the most precious keystones in humanity’s development. It’s how we make sense of the world. It’s how we gain empathy and understanding outside of our own experience. It’s how we reconcile the questions we have against the world we live in. And like all things, it isn’t perfect. There exists as much capacity for deceit and evil within the pages of a book as there does in humanity itself, but without them we would be lost entirely.