#but like there's a big difference between charlie just not wanting to hunt anymore and him abandoning kevin

[saving-people-haunting-things]

Please tell me that the secret plot of s14 is that Sam has been replaced by an alien.

[toringo]

would you be up to explain the differences between canon Henry and your headcanons for him? Fandom interpretations are always so different I never know what’s common knowledge and not lol I’m intrigued

Hello! I'm not good at explaining stuff, so excuse any mistakes I might make. I might also misinterpret canon as I am only human, and my memory can fail me at times.

Also, with my headcanons I'm going to get deeper with some events and plotpoints instead of just giving general personality analysis.

The most important thing about canon Henry - for me - is that he is possessive - in a way.

You can kind of see it reflected in Charlie, who herself is pretty possessive of her things, memories and experiences.

Henry cannot let go of things and people he lost, it's natural, but his obsession is off putting even to his loved ones. He never lets go of Charlie, the diner, or the pizzeria.

He might have left Fredbear's, but the building remains where it was, the stage still inside. The springlock suits remain, allowing William to go on with his crimes.

He moves and opens another pizzeria. He makes a robot replica of his daughter, whom he cannot love properly anymore but clings to selfishly. He makes himself believe that she is still alive, only to rage when he realised she is… not. He can be somewhat cruel in his entitlement. Negligent, distant and utterly miserable after the tragedy.

He must have known it was William who's commited the crimes, police knew, after all.

But I don't think he would ever say anything against him.

He wouldn't want to lose anyone else; anything else, after all.

In the games, though, he is equally depressed but seems almost vindicitve. Driven. Quite literally, he spends the rest of his life hunting William down, possibly not even sure if it makes any sense.

To be honest: it's even possible that he knew all along that William was alive inside the suit, that he was the one to lock him in that place for 30 years, behind a wall. Maybe he wanted him to suffer; maybe he wants to be the one to decide whether and how William is to die after what he's done.

After William gets out, Henry lures and hunts him and the others. He doesn't even care that he is hurting his daughter in the process.

He drags all the Aftons, as well as Charlie, into his big suicide mission. He cannot be sure they will pass; cannot be sure that Michael wants to. But he makes the decision for everyone.

I don't think he considers the spirits human at all - he is much more concerned with his vengeance as much as he likes to talk about setting them free (he fails, after all).

I think Henry resents the whole Afton family, using Mike as a tool.

As calculating as William, what a match.

In my own headcanons - yes, Henry's got that violent streak and low empathy - he doesn't get people.

He's big, strong and loud - can be intimidating.

He's way more social than my William, but people still fing him mostly unpleasant to be around. He is nice; a real family man, loving and trying. But he is ultimately just as awkard as his book counterpart and similarly single-minded as the game one.

Awkward around kids, distant at times, mainly concerned with things he seems to enjoy.

I imagine that Charlotte loves him a lot, and he loves her too, but as she grows up, so does the gap between them.

In my personal aus and headcanons Henry was in love with William and got his heart broken by him multiple times but clings to those feelings, and even after getting married, he cannot let go.

He and his wife get a divorce soon after having Charlie - she stays with her mother but sees him on weekends. He was supposed to have her over for a week every 2, but he is burying himself in his work.

He is overwhelmingly unhappy.

The diner and working on the animatronics brings him joy - he loves it - but he needs to deal with seeing William every day of his life, getting mixed signals and his hopes up, before being rejected again and again. Ironically, William thinks he is the one being rejected. Henry is possessive of his work (his whole life) afterall, so he excludes him, leaving him to the paperwork.

Anyways, his whole life is work, work and more work. He is much more invested in the Afton family affairs than his own, spoiling William's children as much as he does Charlie, wanting that life - wanting a big, happy family.

When he doesn't stay late at work he drinks alone at home.

He meets William outside of Freddy's at times. Sometimes, they go private. It's nice, and it hurts to be toyed with. It hurts that the man he loves seems to treat it as entertainment, from Henry's perspective at least (Later, I have to write down William's take on things).

He drinks until he knows that Charlie is coming home, and then, he tries to be fun and a good father, and he is.

But Charlie is smart and notices things.

Charlie likes William; they're very similar personality-wise.

Henry drinks more, considering what could be.

After William loses his wife and is left with the kids, Henry is ashamed because he's considered going to him, asking if they could try again.

He doesn't, instead helping with the kids, being particiularly close with Michael.

Just like Charlie is close with Will, Mike is close to Henry.

And Mike talks, and Henry sees what William is going through and what he does to the kids.

He tells William right away that he shouldn't worry about work and should focus on the kids (should not speak of her in present tense) and their well-being.

They argue.

Henry considers breaking their partnership up just to force him to actually focus on his family, he thinks William is being ungrateful, irrational.

He wishes he could punch him.

When 83' happens, it gets worse.

Everyone is off.

William's parenting gets worse. Henry feels forced into this decision. William doesn't talk to his kids, he is consumed by work, and when he isn't, he does God knows what in the privacy of his office. He makes mistakes, is messy. Smells of alcohol even at work. Snaps at clients, barely talks to Henry at all.

Henry considers breaking it all off.

Charlie dies.

Henry feels stupid for ever considering firing William - distancing himself from him - as he cries into his shoulder.

They cling to each other, and Henry thinks he knows. But who else does he have left? His ex wife, who looks at him with disgust? Whom he never felt close to at all? She blames him; Charlie died under his care, in his restaurant, and so soon after Evan's death, too!

She is right, of course.

He is disgusted as well.

When Elizabeth dies, he is sure that William is behind everything, and he confronts him but ultimately doesn't do anything with it. Doesn't tell anyone or go to police.

Only after William disappears, leaving Michael under his care, Henry grows hateful of him. Processes everything and turns bitter, vengeful.

Michael looks like William, and Henry lets him live under his roof, but they are not family anymore.

Henry drinks more - his days are a blur.

He feels pathetic and cruel, but doesn't care. Mike is in and out of the house, clearly not apprieciating his company.

He gets it, but he resents him for it.

He is just like his father.

He wants William, wants him dead, wants both William and himself dead.

He only starts caring again when, years later, Mike comes back home, no longer human, and with new information regarding his father.

It's then that Henry fully commits himself to revenge.

The rest is usually pretty similar to how game Henry functions but his obsession with William is both hatred and longing. He hopes they will burn in hell together.

Usually, in my aus, they somehow get back together: they cannot get rid of each other, but in the main thing, yeah, it ends up just like in the game. With a blaze.

In short, he is gay, sad and cannot handle human interaction. Also dependent on William to the point when he cannot function.

Sorry for the text being so long and somewhat incomprehensive. I might be wrong and I might be cringe, but I am free, and these are my takes!

Hope you enjoyed anyways.

SO

Book Henry: loving but sad, possessive/obssessive, distant and negligent. Somewhat selfish. A broken man.

Game Henry: Mad and tired, vindictive and cunning. Will do anything to fullfil his goal, willing to hurt innocent people (for example pizzeria guests) to get his revenge.

Au/Hc Henry: Depressed, dependent and angry. Cannot make a connection, something in between both book and game one with some additional spice.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (May 22/2021) - Pursuit of Peace

Quackity goes searching for new recruits to join him in Las Nevadas.

Foolish wonders if his way of life is really working towards peace, or if he needs a change.

Ranboo builds up the stronghold room for his Enderwalk experiments.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Quackity

Foolish

Ranboo

---

---

LAS NEVADAS: EPISODE THREE

---

Quackity rides a white horse and overlooks the construction site where the plans for Las Nevadas have been laid out. There is a montage that shows Quackity in New L’manburg, then hunting down Techno in the Final Control Room. 

Techno strikes him down and Quackity wakes up at Spawn with a bloody scar over one eye.

There is a rapid timelapse showing the buildings of Las Nevadas getting built one by one. Slot machine sound effects play in the background, then Quackity’s voice:

“Let’s start this hit list. Who’s on the hit list? Dream and Technoblade. If we go after Dream first, we’ll have government, and then Techno will go after us. So let’s just -- let’s just attack the problem from the goddamn root.”

Another rapid-cut montage of Quackity walking down the path to the prison, then a full view of Pandora’s Vault...

---

- Quackity is in the cell with Dream, telling him he’ll show him which weapon he’ll use to torture him this time. He puts an axe up on the wall. While Quackity is talking, Dream suddenly runs up to try and take the axe. Quackity hits him back and grabs it

- Dream cowers in the corner of the cell, pleading, while Quackity shouts at him

Quackity: “You do that again, and it’s over for you. Don’t fucking ever do that again. You understand?”

Dream: “Yes.”

Quackity: “Don’t ever reach for any of my fucking weapons ever again. Okay?”

Dream: “Yes, sir.”

- Quackity says these visits have gotten tiresome, and he’s busy. The Netherite barrier wall is put up between them and the lava. Dream tells him he doesn’t have to visit anymore.

Quackity: “No, I do, I do. This is what you don’t understand, Dream. This is what you don’t understand, okay? I do, I do have to come, every single day, so I can remind you, every bad shit you’ve ever done to me, to any other person on the server -- I have to come every day to remind you, otherwise I think you’ll end up forgetting, and I don’t think I want you to forget.”

Dream: “Forget -- I won’t forget -- I promise you I won’t forget!”

- Quackity asks him when was the last time he saw Technoblade. Dream says it was a little bit before he was put in the prison.

- Quackity asks what their relationship is like, and Dream describes Techno as one of his only allies. Quackity throws Dream a book and quill and tells him to get writing: a note to Technoblade to get him to visit the prison

- If he writes the note and doesn’t ask any questions, then he’ll give Dream a week’s break from the torture. Dream thinks he’s lying and refuses to write the note

- Dream suggests Sapnap instead and Quackity snaps. 

Quackity: “If you don’t do that shit, then we’re gonna have issues, alright? You know what? I’m kinda sick and tired of these fucking visits now that I think about it. I’m actually sick and tired! I don’t like ‘em anymore! They’re boring, they really don’t serve any much more purpose, I don’t like ‘em anymore Dream. So this is what we’re gonna do. You either write that goddamn note, or I will kill you. I am not joking, I will fucking kill you, I don’t care anymore, I don’t --”

“What is it, the book? Are you threatening me with the fucking revival book, Dream? Guess what, Dream? I don’t CARE anymore about the book! I don’t give a crap about the fucking book anymore! You understand me? I don’t give a shit! I’ve lost interest in that thing! At this point, the only reason I come and torture you so much, every single day, is merely as a reminder, because at the end of the day, no matter how many times I fucking torture you, that will never amount the amount of fucking evil you’ve done to this entire server and everyone in it--”

Dream: “It’s -- it’s ‘cause you LIKE IT! You LIKE torturing me!”

Quackity: “You know what? You know what? I might, I might. I don’t give a shit, I don’t care what it is, what the reason is, if you don’t write that goddamn note -- I’m going to kill you, Dream. I am going to kill you.”

- Dream says Sam wouldn’t let Quackity kill him, but Quackity points out that Sam is beyond the lava wall, and he can deal with Sam later if need be. Dream shouts that he wouldn’t.

- Quackity starts swinging the axe around, then starts stabbing Dream while Dream begs for him to stop. Dream agrees to write it. 

Quackity tells him what to write: 

“Dear Technoblade...”

-

Chapter One.

-

There’s a village at night. It’s raining. 

Easy job.

Foolish is there.

No innocents.

Big reward.

Easy money.

He draws his bow.

Peaceful heist.

He shoots the arrow into the village.

The village is ablaze and full of lava, people are screaming. Foolish rides off on a horse.

-

THE PURSUIT OF PEACE

-

- A bell rings. It’s Las Nevadas, and Quackity coughs, eating, while Sam comes through the door and sits down in front of him. Quackity asks where Sam found the villager running the restaurant. Sam says he just showed up, and Quackity scolds him for hiring someone random

- Quackity hands him a book with potential roles for candidates, people to join Las Nevadas. Sam says he thought he was going to hire George, Sapnap and Karl. They both pause before Sam says he was kidding

- Quackity asks Sam to tell him about Foolish. Sam has read that Foolish isn’t a good person. Quackity scoffs, but Sam says the two of them haven’t done anything inherently bad, and everything they do is just for justice

Quackity: (laughing) “Yeah, ‘justice.’”

- Foolish used to kill a lot of people. A job gone wrong written about in old history texts. Quackity still thinks he’d be a great option. 

- In the future, who’s going to protect them? Sam knows what happened with Quackity and Techno, and they need some force in their team. Sam is still skeptical

---

- Quackity greets Foolish at the summer home entrance, asking how he’s holding up after the Banquet, the places he’s affiliated with

- Foolish is done with contract work for Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity asks him if he’d like to join Las Nevadas. Foolish is honored, but he’s happy at his summer home. As Quackity presses him on it, Foolish keeps insisting

Quackity: “I know who you are, if that makes a little more sense...I’ve done my research, Foolish, I have my connections. I know what type of person you are, if you get what I mean...”

- Foolish tells him this peaceful life has worked

Foolish: “I believed peace could be found through the sword, you know? Fighting. That doesn’t work, okay. That just leads to fear, to power, to hatred, resentment, all of that, okay, it’s a mess. The only thing I did was accelerate war, okay? That doesn’t work. So I pushed back, I ran from it all, and this is good! I’m in a much happier place!”

- Quackity then says he wants to buy Foolish’s summer home from him...for one diamond. Foolish is taken aback as Quackity explains that for all the work Foolish has put into this, it’s just a build. 

No one stays here, they just admire and leave it. It is an empty shell that’s beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, it’s decaying, something that will disappear in time with no one to remember it...much like Foolish himself.

Quackity: “On the inside, everybody knows you’re...just a builder. And I was hoping, at some point, you would realize this...after I let you die at the Red Banquet.”

- Foolish is shocked. Quackity was behind those walls and he could have saved Foolish, but instead he watched him die. Foolish draws his trident, and Quackity asks if he would really take a life

Quackity: “I did it for you. I let you die because I wanted a better version of you.”

- He wanted Foolish to realize that this life as a builder would get him hurt, and he needs to go back to his old ways: feared, not a nobody

Foolish: “You threw away my life for some kind of fucking sales pitch!”

“Power...power...damn you, Qua -- what makes you think you’re any better, huh?! How’s that worked out for anyone else that’s been here? Dream? Wilbur? Schlatt? How’d that go, huh? What makes you any better, different, than them?”

- Quackity doesn’t need a sales pitch, his country is already big and other people would take the offer. 

The reason he came to Foolish is because Quackity sees himself in Foolish: someone who once saw peace and betterment of people as the way to live. It brought him nothing but suffering, and Foolish has potential

The offer still stands.

-

Chapter Two.

-

An old-fashioned documentary plays about: the Slime! 

Slimes are morphing elements that can morph into just about anything, even blocks. Is Dwane “The Rock” Johnson slime?

---

- Quackity glides down onto the roof of the restaurant in a ninja outfit and elytra, setting up redstone and TNT in the floor. There’s a bit of slime on the wall and he’s disgusted, running out. This is why he wants to kill the owner of this place

- He mines into the wall only for Charlie Slimecicle to pop out. Quackity knocks him out 

- When Charlie wakes up, he’s stuck in a hole and Quackity is interrogating him, asking who he is. Charlie says he is a definitely “goobless guy” who has many bones.

Charle: “Dap me up!”

- As Charlie describes what happened, it becomes clear that Charlie has overheard all sorts of passing conversations and knows a lot. He knows too much, and Quackity has to kill him

- Quackity asks what else he knows. Charlie gets distracted by the snow, which Quackity teaches him is called “coke”

- Charlie saw Foolish, the purple guy, he knows of a green guy, a red-shirt blond guy, a dead-but-not-anymore-guy. Quackity asks about the dead guy, who Charlie describes as “sooty”

- Quackity realizes that Charlie is an accidental spy and tells Charlie this is just a friendly greeting, he can give Charlie a home. He coughs again and tells Charlie that a spy is a friend, and Charlie will be his spy as the two walk off together

-

Chapter Three.

-

---

ONE WEEK BEFORE THE RED BANQUET

---

A purple-tinged POV of a person walking down the path through the Community House as Quackity and Sam talk in the background.

It’s been so long, he might be dead in the woods somewhere, but Quackity insists that Purpled is perfect for their country. Sam doesn’t think he would ever join, doesn’t think he would ever affiliate with anyone.

What about a job? 

The UFO is destroyed.

If Quackity offers him a one-time job, Purpled would take it. Once he has Purpled’s attention, Quackity can do something to reel him in to join the country.

Rowing to the skull base...

Sam says Purpled’s UFO is still there, but abandoned. He moved out along time ago. Quackity has a plan...

---

- Quackity and Sam are talking by Eret’s Museum. Sam is in charge of keeping an eye out for Purpled. Sam protests -- he’s the Warden and Quackity is breaking and entering, and he’s not supposed to break the law. 

- Quackity has a stack of TNT. He climbs up the UFO and starts placing TNT everywhere inside

- Purpled logs on right in front of him and immediately starts attacking, but stops when Quackity threatens to light the TNT, explaining that this was the best way to get in contact with him

- Quackity tells him about how messed up the server is, that the Egg is still an issue, and he needs Purpled’s help. 

- Purpled is in the middle of a mercenary job already, but Quackity will pay Purpled well. He has a new project getting him wealth, a prosperous country. To prove it, Quackity takes him there...

---

The Red Banquet happens. A fight breaks out, and they get the Eggpire to retreat.

---

- Quackity stands on top of the flower shop. He meets Purpled, dressed in his suit, and thanks him for his help with the Egg

- Purpled stops him to ask for his money. Quackity takes him up to the roof and shows him to a chest with the money in it. Purpled approves

- Quackity has something else for Purpled: he goes downstairs and flicks a lever, and Purpled’s UFO explodes

Quackity: “Purpled, your legacy is gone, and I’ve taken it from you. That’s the last piece of evidence that you were ever here, Purpled. That’s it. And you die a long with it. You die along with it -- YOU DIE ALONG WITH IT, PURPLED!”

- Purpled runs at Quackity, attacking him. Quackity stops him, saying he did it for him. Purpled has two choices: he can take Quackity’s life and run away with the money, and he disappears forever. Or, he could join Quackity.

- Quackity tells Purpled he has potential, why waste it away? If Purpled joins him, he can buy a whole fleet of UFOs to replace the one

- Quackity promises Purpled a plot of land in Las Nevadas

Quackity: “Take the gamble, Purpled...take the gamble, and you can change everything.”

- Silently, Purpled turns and walks away

-

Chapter Four.

-

- Fundy walks to his new house in the forest and goes to sleep. When he wakes up, he opens the door to find it’s a mesa biome. He’s upset and goes back inside, reassuring himself. When he opens the door again, he’s met with Quackity standing there

- Quackity invites him to a walk, saying Fundy was a hard person to find, but he found him

- Fundy asks what this place is, but Quackity says he should know it better than anyone. As they approach, the mesa is populated by bits and pieces of L’manburg. The wooden stilts of New L’manburg, fragments of the black walls, the Camarvan. Quackity reminisces with him

- Fundy isn’t sure that the drug equipment is necessarily “good memories,” but Quackity tells him no, everything is good memories

- As Quackity leads him towards an oversized, deteriorated version of Eret’s tower, he reminds Fundy of how L’manburg was blown up

- Quackity steps into the shadows

Quackity: “You know what, Fundy? Those memories don’t matter. None of that matters, Fundy. All these structures, all these things we built together...it’s here now, but it’s really gone, and none of it matters, nor will it ever matter...Fundy, if you think about it...you don’t matter. Along with all these structures and everything in ‘em, you’re gonna fade away just like it.”

- If Fundy doesn’t change things, he won’t matter, but Quackity has plans and he doesn’t have to fade away if he just joins Quackity

- Quackity gives him ten seconds to decide. He starts counting down...

- Fundy runs towards him into the darkness as Quackity reaches one and he wakes up suddenly in his bed

- He goes to his door and opens it. Outside is the regular spruce forest, and Quackity is there to greet him.

---

It’s the day Wilbur got a tour from Tommy. Wilbur walks over to his resurrection shrine and finds the “PROJECT NEVADAS” book, reading it.

---

Las Nevadas. Wilbur, revived, comes walking down the road. 

He comes face to face with Quackity.

---

- Foolish stands on top of his temple, wondering...was Quackity right? Is he wasting his time here, accomplishing nothing? He isn’t really doing anything to work towards peace

- He stands in the beacon light. Can Quackity do better than everyone else that’s tried before him? Quackity wasn’t all wrong in what he said

- At the Banquet, when he did try to help, he wasn’t strong enough. He can’t even control his own area -- people just walk in and he can’t stop them. Does he need to try something else?

- Maybe there’s a balance between both ends of the spectrum. It wouldn’t hurt to go look, try something different

- He starts making the journey through the Nether, then past Spawn until he reaches Las Nevadas. Just to visit and look around

- Can he really trust someone who let him die?

- Foolish spots Quackity across the road and goes to speak with him. The casino is still going through some repairs, as they found some flaws with the “math” and want to make sure everything is fair

- Foolish asks what Quackity wants from him. Quackity tells him it’s up to him what he wants to do, and it wouldn’t be fair of Quackity to tell Foolish that until Foolish accepts the invitation

- Quackity tours Foolish around the place, showing off the various buildings, like a restaurant and an area for weddings. Quackity sleeps in the Needle. There’s also a strip club also undergoing repairs and a massive Eiffel Tower

- They swim in the pool and Quackity asks Foolish to tell him a bit more about himself. Foolish says he worked for Kinoko Kingdom and Snowchester, and Quackity wants him to elaborate a bit on Kinoko

- Quackity tells Foolish that Las Nevadas is “its own, independent nation” and that you can’t depend on anyone. Quackity wants to depend on only himself. 

- Foolish asks about the people who might not like that it’s a nation. Quackity says he just doesn’t have a plan and he’ll deal with it when the time comes

- Quackity tells Foolish he’s welcome to bring others. Foolish notes that Quackity said he doesn’t like to “dwell,” and by coming here maybe Foolish can stop dwelling on the past as well

- Quackity tells Foolish that Foolish chooses who he wants to be. The last thing he wants with Foolish is bad blood

Quackity: “I take care of those who take care of me...why do you think I have no one around?”

- Foolish tells him he’ll have an answer tomorrow. Quackity gives him temporary tokens for the casino and says goodbye to go and sleep. Foolish thinks to himself in Las Nevadas

- That’s when Foolish spots Fundy on the road and the stream abruptly ends

- Ranboo is in his basement. He wants to move the lab equipment to the table area

- He has an experiment log book that he won’t show chat

- Ranboo reads the letter Foolish left for him about the littering at his summer home

- He has a plan for what experiments he wants to do. He’s changed his opinion on the Enderwalk, as it allows him to hear chat in the first place. He doesn’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing

- Ranboo reaches the stronghold portal room and starts lining the walls with iron blocks. He thinks that after today, he might be able to remember everything

- He creates a glass water tank in the corner and some brewing stands, as well as a lever-activated dispenser with arrows

- Ranboo hit a wall with the experiments and he wonders if this strange table might be the key to breaking through

- He realized something frightening:

Ranboo: “The Enderwalk isn’t a different version of me, it’s not a different me, it’s still...me. But, from what I gathered...it’s me with...all of my memories. Every. Single. One. And I realized that...so...I mean, who knows what could’ve happened? There could’ve been an entire other story that I’m not aware of.”

- Ranboo wonders if he wants to keep living in blissful ignorance or know everything that’s happened

- He opens the log: 

---

[In Ender]

Purpose of experimentation:

To understand

To learn

To remember

---

To remember is one of the purposes. There are 43 pages, and one of them had the solution.

If it gets rid of it completely, he could lose all of what he didn’t know from before. It could either be good or unknown.

- He tells chat he tricked them. They weren’t just random experiments -- he was going to solve it, and he thought he needed chat with him. 

He didn’t need a splash potion. He would use the arrow and go into the water tank, and that would be the solution.

- Ranboo goes back and blocks up the hall, deciding to only use it as a last resort if something happens.

Only if something happens.

He “welp” claps to end stream.

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

[supertransural]

Dean and his “things, people and feelings” he’s already “experienced differently”.

So here’s a random 4am thought I had. You know how while in the confessional in 10x16, Dean talks about “things, people, feelings” he wants to “experience differently/for the first time”? That confession is literally incoherent if you take a perfectly heterosexual-non-castiel-point of view. It just is. Let me explain why I think that is, and prepare yourself, this is going to be long. 

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that we’re supposed to understand that conversation the way the priest understands it, that we’re supposed to see Dean the way the priest sees him: as someone who likes to have flings, who cheats, doesn’t commit, etc... basically the character that was introduced to us in the first few seasons/episodes (somewhat). I’m going to be calling that stance the “priest POV”. 

The issue here, is that this is not in fact “the first few seasons/episodes”, this is season 10, Things have happened since then. People have happened. Feelings. Have. Happened. Wether it be in the form of flashbacks or present day events, we’ve seen character development. So let’s start with romantic ones.

1: The first one that comes to mind is Lisa (and Ben). He had a committed, long term, family oriented, white picket fence relationship. It wasn’t just a “I had no other place to go” kinda deal, because once he was somewhat back on his feet, he could’ve pulled a Dean WInchester and left. Except he didn’t. He could’ve cheated. Except he didn’t. He could’ve not opened up or not gotten vulnerable. Except he did. That should already debunk the “priest POV” but let me add on. 

2: Cassie. Dean was insanely vulnerable with her, he loved her, opened up to her about the one big thing he never tells his one night stands, and incidentally was the one who was rejected this time around. He still has feelings about her when he meets her again. 

3: Robin. His first, real girlfriend. With whom he was also in a committed relationship with, which probably would’ve kept on growing if John hadn’t been the usual assh*le that he is, and Dean had had a chance to go to that dance with her. I like to think of her as beta-version-Lisa, and also as the girl who set him on his blazing trail of leaving women after 1 day or 1 week. His dad was the one to rip him away from her, and we know he wanted his son to be the perfect masc, emotionless, order-following, womanizer. And that is exactly what Dean attempts to become, even though this obviously goes against every fiber of his being (see #4).

4: Amanda. Now you may be thinking “but hey! Dean does cheat on her! and it is a short relationship!”. Sure he does, and sure it is, as I said, ever since Robin, he’s trying to be the womanizer his dad wants him to be. But he still lets himself get quite attached to Amanda, as shown by his disdain of the school right after she dumps him in front of everyone. The only reason he liked or tolerated this school wasn’t just “the hot cheerleaders” or whatever, it was Amanda. He wants to put on this mask of “I don’t care about her, I’m a bad boy, I’m just in it for the sex”, but he’s genuinely hurt by what she tells him about his life and how she judges it, and saddened by the breakup. He lets himself get hurt by her. Bear with me, this is important, because we see it happen again with Cassie and then he never lets it get to that point again, simply because of fear and trauma (I think), for example he’s the one to start the conversation about breaking up with Lisa.

Now. What about the “he was just talking about platonic things and feelings and people” possibility. Spoiler alert, it still doesn’t work. 

1: Jo. Otherwise known in my head as beta-version-Charlie, it’s true that Jo is part of those “early seasons” characters, but that only adds to the inconsistency of the “priest POV”. Dean cared intensely about her, some people think of their relationship as romantic, but I really like the “big brother/father/protective” figure idea. Whatever you believe their relationship was, it was profound, I mean he was positively shattered when she died. Again, deep feelings, longterm feelings. 

2: Benny. Like seriously. Dean spent a year in Purgatory with him, saw him as a brother despite the fact he was a vampire, helped him as much as he could while he was having troubles adapting to life on Earth again, protected him through thick and thin, went against his brother for him, against other hunters, against his core beliefs as a hunter himself, just. for. him. If that doesn’t tick all the boxes of things, feelings, people he wants to experience differently for you, then I truly don’t know what to tell you. And then there’s the whole thing with the ship between them, which I somewhat agree with but it isn’t cannon enough for this. 

3: Garth. Yeah, sure, Dean is condescending towards him at first, but he does care about him a lot, and probably doesn’t understand why and how Garth cares about him so quickly, or offers support voluntarily. Garth is a bit of a role model to him, that scrawny, somewhat cringy, little man is better at life than Dean is, and Dean sees that. He’s bothered by it at first, but learns to respect Garth later on, and care about him. He relies on him as a hunter, and kind of as a friend too and he lets him be the new Bobby (which proves a lot of trust grew here) (also, much later on, Dean makes sure he stays out of hunting so Garth can have a happy family life, he also accepts the fact that he’s a werewolf and that his whole family is too). That Also counts as people experienced differently and for the first time. 

4: Kevin. Or as I like to call him, sort-of-beta-version-Jack. Dean feels responsible for him, he jumps into the role of a father figure more than Sam ever does, as much as Sam cares about Kevin too. He is also completely shattered when he dies, like with Jo (which is a bit of the reason why I see Jo and Dean’s relationship as a Big brother-Little sister relationship, the vibe is similar (but not identical) to Kevin and Dean’s). 

5: Jody. Jody is like the mother he never really had growing up. He is vulnerable around her, opens up, she’s basically family. I’m not going to write in Bobby, because he doesn’t count as “new things”, he was effectively his father. Here, Dean lets Jody become a sort of mother to him even though his memory of his mom isn’t as tarnished as his dad’s is. He lets her step into his mom’s sacred shoes. He lets her take care of him in a way. He lets her enter his life and be here for him. New people, new feelings.

6: Charlie. Charlie is his little sister, no doubt about it. She’s his role model, he loves her deeply, he lets himself care about her and feel insanely protective of her. He lets her be Sam #2. He lets himself become a big brother to a new Jo. To a new human. He lets his nerdy side out around her, he learns from her openness about being gay. He is comfortable around her. He is constantly worried about her. New feelings, new people, new things, first time blah blah blah you know the drill by now.

7: Ash. Yes, yes, I know, another “early on” character. But as I said, it keeps on just proving my point. First of all, I firmly believe Dean had a massive crush on Ash but that’s just my interpretation. He respects Ash and looks up to him, he wants to be a bit like him, confident, comfortable in his own life and skin, happy, and he lives in a friggin’ bar for godsakes. He is the epitome of what Dean wants to be at that point in time. He wants to be carefree like Ash is. He thinks Ash is highly intelligent, and has it made. He sees what a happy man can be, one without burdens from “the life”. Ash is a bit like the cooler version of Garth (no offense to Garth of course). Does that count as a role model? I don’t know. But it sure as hell shaped Dean’s hope for what his life could one day be. And Dean cares about Ash deeply as well, he was devastated when he died (he was devastated about the whole Roadhouse burning of course, but it’s clear Ash’s death shakes him quite a bit) and is genuinely happy when he gets to see him again in Heaven, when he sees Ash content and at peace, and the fact that Ash tells him he’ll see him again one day makes him smile (btw thats something I would’ve wanted to see in the finale, but nooooo they simply had to give us a train wreck instead). 

So now that we’ve established those relationships he’s already had before (and I use the term relationship broadly here, it also includes all his friends), I’d like to point something out. There are of course other people he met along the way, other people he saved who inspired him, like the gay couple LARPing as him and Sam, Ellen (beta-version-Jody), in a way Tessa, Layla Rourke, Eileen, to name a few. But I feel as though the ones I cited were the main ones that truly show how shallow the “priest POV” interpretation is.

So where exactly does all this leave us? Well, friends, exactly where I intended it to be. That scene can’t be about potential women being longterm or serious romantic partners because that’s already happened. It can’t be about friends or monsters, because that’s already happened. Canonically. Several times, in several different flavors. 

TL;DR: There is no way this confession scene is heterosexual, and it’s probably about Cas, but not just him, it’s also simply about Dean himself and his comfy closet getting not so comfortable anymore. 

[maribabyart]

Do you have any Demon Martha headcanons? How do you think her reunion with Mrs. Mayberry (The teacher who paid for her assassination) in hell would go?

 OK YES I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THIS HERE WE GO --

MARTHA HEADCANONS <3

So, I’m gonna start with her before she died so I can fully get into why every part of her is the way she is as a demon.

Martha is light skinned Latina woman with family coming from Venezuela. Her mother has a much darker skin tone than her, but her father is far more light-skinned, where she gets her complexion from. While she was raised in America, her parents were immigrants. She was born at home, and she didn’t get a birth certificate until she was four, the year before she started schooling.

She has three older brothers. They were very rambunctious with Martha as a child, pulling pranks on her/with her, taking her hunting, etc.

She was raised out on a farm in the middle of a forested area in Kentucky. They raised cattle, sheep, chickens, and horses. Martha’s main job on the farm was to groom/ride horses and feed chickens.

She learned her sharp-shooter skills in a more intense version of something like 4H unique to her area. She was fantastic with a bow and arrow, and even better with her firearms.

Cannibalism was normalized in Martha’s life from a young age. She knew that it must be kept secret from the outside world, and that it wasn’t accepted. However, it wasn’t something she found to be horrid.

Her family -- and their close friends -- came from a long lineage of Satanic cultists that practiced cannibalism to purge any bit of, “soul” remaining in the corpses of their sacrifices. Due to this, Martha had evolved to be able to be immune to the ill side effects of cannibalism, along with the ability to not feel repulsed by the idea of eating human meat.

Her favorite part of the body growing up was the brain, and it still is to this day. She loves the frontal lobe slathered in spices and hot sauce.

She began her cultish killings at age fourteen, when she officially joined the cult of her family’s descent -- Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida (Fellowship of the Forbidden Fruit, a refrence to their following of Lucifer)

Martha didn’t love Raphael Peterson, or, “Ralphie”. She was married of to him at age sixteen, when she became a, “Woman” in the cult’s eyes. They were both meant to appear as an ideal couple so that people wouldn’t suspect them, as their parents before them have.

Ralph and Martha always saw each other as friends with benefits.

They moved to Dayton, Tennessee to start their family when they turned eighteen.

In Nashville, Martha started singing to music her husband played in Taverns. Think Dolly Parton style music. She sounded a lot like that.

Their first child was born when Martha was eighteen: Their daughter, Jolene Peterson. Two years later, they had their son, Beau Peterson.

Martha was always really involved with her kids’ school activities, and she was always volunteering to work events, and her kids were in every activity they could be.

She used her physical attractiveness to seduce and kill men.

While sex favorable, Martha is on the aspec -- greysexual (sexual pleasure is irrelevant to her, and she only engages in it to appease her partner generally. She only finds sexual attraction in people while in the act.) Because of this fact, Martha only has affairs for the sake of gaining trust to bring the men home so they can be killed and eaten.

When Martha was shot, the community villainized Mrs. Mayberry because the town darling, Martha Jane Nunez Robles-Peterson, would NEVER cheat, right? The situation was misread: Martha was just talking to Jarold Mayberry that night about t-ball-related things, right? He WAS the the little league captain for her 6-year-old-son’s league, wasn’t he?

Martha was gifted millions by the community, and people were insanely supportive of her. They wanted the sweet Martha they, “knew” to get better soon. They loved her so -- such a darling woman!

Her music became more well known, and soon, Martha was all over TV. Her big musical break came from when she auditioned for American Idol and made it. Her sob-story propelled her, and she eventually won.

Martha was a hero to everyone around her -- surviving a traumatic event that was uncalled for, while also being so damn chipper and kind.

Hell, did you guys see the background in one of those scenes?! Martha was canonly proclaimed a SAINT! People loved her that much.

She used the public trust to lure in more victims and never be suspected.

Martha was 28 when she died. Ralphie was 28 as well. Jolene was 10, and Beau was 8.

Ralphie managed to survive the explosion, albeit he was completely paralyzed, and the two children went to heaven. Ralphie repented during his last month alive, and confessed to his crimes. He was sent to heaven as well.

Martha and the children were declared to have died in a bear attack, as Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida covered up their true demise with ease.

People were heart broken -- Martha’s music was used in sad collages on Youtube, Tik Toks had Martha’s face in them for memorials.

No one ever realized her crimes.

Now! As a demon....

In hell, Martha picked up the alias Hero -- it’s what she was in life, right? I’ll be calling her Hero from now on.

Hero is both different and similar to how she was when she was alive. She’s still the got her kind-hearted, southern mama vibe going for her: She tends to be able to fit into any demonic crowd well, either by attractiveness or by sheer, overwhelming allure -- she’s a very magnetic personality.

As far as powers go, Hero’s are mostly related to firearms. She’s acquired these powers through deal making and soul dealing, as most demons do. Her charming aura very quickly lure people into thinking she’s naive or really just being honest with them.

Her nails can peel back to allow her to shoot from, “finger guns”. Each finger is a different gun, besides her middle and index fingers. They are both shotguns. Together, they make a double barrel shotgun.

When in full demonic form, Hero’s bandages become sentient. They peel away from her wound, revealing a minigun like weapon in the hole in her head. This can rapid fire while the bandages can grab onto things or hoist Hero up. She can make this last for five minutes -- ten at the longest -- before she gives out to sheer exhaustion and needs to eat demon meat to replenish herself.

Within her first week in hell, she was known to be powerful. Not quite an overlord, but powerful enough to hang around overlords. 

She hit overlord status three months later, during the terf war seen in Hazbin Hotel’s pilot: She took several areas of land, and was seen to have several lesser demons flocking to be on her good side.

Hero used her land to build up a bar and grill that serves strictly demon meat and blood, where demons can play music and dance. It’s like a fucked up country dinner. It’s an insanely popular addition to Cannibal Colony, where she lives.

The place is called La Cocina de la Calle Kuru (The Kuru Street Kitchen)

Hero REALLY wants to get her hands on exterminator tools, but she’s not really a fan of black market deals -- it’s too “trashy” for her.

Hero knows Alastor pretty well, as he’s came in for meat and to watch the music. They’ve had pretty decent conversations while she was on break, seeing as they were both influential  southern, cannibalistic serial killers. It’s a running gag between them where they jokingly talk about who was more iconic -- “I bet I took out more belles in a lifetime than you could in your entire afterlife!” “Well hon, at least I could eat the brains without gettin’ Kuru!”

She talks to Rosie a lot about business, and has met Niffty and Mimzy before. (Al hooked a bitch up with some friends lmao)

She REALLY likes Mimzy. She reminds her of Ralphie, and they became super fast friends. 

Vox and Hero have a confusing sort of friendship, as neither really wants to be seen with the other -- In his case, because she’s much lower on the overlord spectrum than him, and in her case, because she’s no stranger to Alastor and Vox’s hatred for one another. However, she often finds herself consoling Vox on sleepless nights after closing up the bar, trying to convince him that Valentino is NOT worth his time. Beyond that and him occasionally paying her back in tech at random hours of the morning, they don’t talk often.

Hero LOVES dancing! Like, a lot.

She’s seen Charlie’s ad for the Happy Hotel. Her and Mimzy watched it, and they both thought it was the stupidest damn thing they’d ever seen. However, Hero said she was happy Charlie got up there, because she was just, “Cute as a button, that lil’ sweatpea was!”

Hero’s best friends are Mimzy and an unnamed demon who specializes in black market, extermination tool selling (the one seen in in Addict -- Cherri Bomb’s former lover).

These two people, and these two people alone, can call her “Martha”

Hero cooks whenever she’s stressed. She also adores sewing and binging soap operas and reality shows on Voxflix.

Hero’s Instagram would be, “HeroicMelodies” in reference to her music career and name.

Hero gets hit on A LOT, and she despises it. She doesn’t need to seduce people anymore to get away with murder, and she doesn’t want to. She dresses the way she does because she LIKES that clothing. People can fuck off.

The reason Hero is white and pink is to show how innocent she looks. Her pitch-black eyes show her dark soul.

Hero sings in Spanish to herself when cleaning up.

Sometimes, Hero and Rosie spend holidays going around with ground demon meat to throw to the hell crows and other critters. They find it peaceful.

Hero, shockingly, holds no hatred for I.M.P., and commonly jokes about how the I.M.P.’s, “Did her a favor” by sending her somewhere she can actually be her. She has no idea who called for the hit, though. 

Hero finds Blitzo’s Instagram posts being poorly spelled to be, “Damn near precious”.

She thinks he’s a teenager, and probably would think it less adorable if she knew he was a grown man with a grown kid.

Hero doesn’t care about Mrs. Mayberry at all. Like, at all. She honestly assumes the woman is in heaven. She knew Mayberry wasn’t bad -- she probably wouldn’t care if she was in hell, though. Oh well. Sucks to suck, bitch.

Husk frequents La Cocina de la Calle Kuru to drink and engage in the gambling scene. Hero finds him trashy, but can’t say she hates him. She finds him funny as hell, and enjoys the business. Just not someone she’d personally hang out with.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 14 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter fourteen 

~|Charlie Gillespie|~

Life is good on the other side of Hollywood. The song really does stick. Life with Emily has definitely changed me for the better. I feel like I’m soaring on clouds every time I’m around her or even think of her. And my songwriting has gotten better too. “Where have you been?” My mother’s bone-chilling angry voice greets me when I enter the kitchen. “You’ve been out nearly every night of the week, not returning until late.” This is not going to be a fun conversation. “I was rehearsing with the boys, ma,” I say as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, hoping to escape this talking-to quickly. “Again? What about school, Charlie?!” “I did that before I left for rehearsals,” I lie. Why would anyone work for school when there are no tests this week? That’s just working for nothing. This whole school-thing is a waste of time when you think about it. I want to be a Rockstar, get Sunset Curve famous. “You don’t think I would actually believe that, right?!” Her voice rises with the second. “Believe what you want, mom. There’s nothing going on this week anyway.” I probably should not have said that because mom’s expression changes from angry to furious. “That’s no reason not to work for it, Charles Gillespie!” The full name takes me back to Emily calling me Charles and it’s enough for my brain to give my lips permission to curl up. “You think this is funny, do you?” The smile vanishes as soon as it came. “No, mom! But I got this, okay? This is my life and I’ve got control over it, okay? You have to let me live my life, mom!” The screaming match lures my father into the kitchen as well. “What’s going on here?” he asks, clearly annoyed we’d disturbed his favorite show. “Your son over here thinks he has control over his life and doesn’t need to work for school anymore,” mom explains, the volume of her voice goes down, but the anger’s still there. “I mean, he’s seventeen, honey…” At least dad understands me, “He’s going to learn how to live life by making mistakes, you got to let him make them.” “You’re seriously going to take his side right now?!” The volume raises again. “Mom! This has nothing to do with taking sides! If you didn’t breathe on my neck like you always do, you would know how amazing the band is doing and that I have an amazing girlfriend! But all you care about is controlling my life!” I freeze when I realize what I’d just yelled at my mother. “Just let me live!” “You’re seventeen, Charlie! You don’t know what you’re doing with your life!” At least she’s not reacting to my girlfriend-news I’d just blurted out to them. If she ever talks shit about Emily, I swear to God, it won’t be their finest day. “No, I don’t! But that’s normal, okay?! I want to figure out life by myself, with my band, with my girlfriend. So, stay out of it!” I push past her and dad, grab my backpack and leave the house again, cycling to Jeremy’s garage again. I know I’m always welcome to crash there after a fight with my parents. Owen and Jeremy are both still in the garage, cleaning up, chatting. When they see me, their grinning faces fade into worried glances. They already know what’s going on. I drop my backpack on the floor and plop down next to Owen onto the couch. “You okay, man?” Owen asks. “Yeah, just my parents being controlling again, you know?” He offers me a sympathetic smile. “Hey, Jere, do you mind me crashing here tonight?” “You can stay as long as you want,” he replies with a smile. “Thanks, man.” “I’m staying the night too,” Owen tells me, “Parents still aren’t talking to me.” “How long since you came out to them?” I can feel my heart breaking at the thought of Owen just being himself and completely being obliterated by his parents, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. “About a year…” Heart shattered. “At least I still got Luka.” I smile as I think about Owen’s sister. In 6th grade, she used to babysit us, even though we thought we were old enough to stay home alone. But Luka actually was the best babysitter ever. And I can’t deny I had a little crush on her at one point. It did blow over when she ditched us one time to go on a date. Besides being the greatest babysitter ever, she’s also been a great sport in Owen’s coming out. She was the first one he told besides us. Not only that, she’s also the biggest Sunset Curve fan. “How is Luka?” I ask, which earns me a sharp glare from Owen. “I’m just curious.” “She’s navigating college, so home isn’t where I want to be at the moment.” “Right, must be tough for her too,” Jeremy chimes in. “Yeah, must be tough having your parents worry about your every move.” I note the sarcasm in his voice and offer him a sympathetic smile, hoping that’ll help somewhat. I also feel slightly attacked by his comment. “Hey, at least we’ve got each other,” I tell him, patting his shoulder.   “And us is all we need,” Owen agrees with a small smile shining through. “And Emily!” Jeremy’s mention of Emily simply makes me smile again. Even the mention of her name makes me smile. I guess that does show how whipped I am for this girl. I wish I could tell her though. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Both Owen and Jeremy nod their heads, agreeing with me. “You’re so in love with her, bro,” Owen says. “Have you taken her on a date yet?” Jeremy wants to know. “No, not really. Unless you count sorting invoices at the Music Store or secret make-out sessions on her balcony?” They now shake their heads in response. “Why don’t you take her out on a date? Cute little picknick? Movie?” Owen suggests. “Yeah, if you want, you can take her here, we’ll set up like a projector and a screen, decorate with Christmas lights, and buy some food.” I stare at Jeremy for a little longer than I’d like. Did that really come out of his mouth? That’s a decent idea for once. “I don’t know if she likes romantic gestures like that though?” I manage to bring out once I’ve recomposed myself. “What girl wouldn’t like watching a movie on a big screen with her boyfriend, eating food, surrounded by pretty lights?” Owen reasons. That’s a good point. “Will you guys help me set up though?” They nod in response, and we get to work straight away. Jeremy goes inside to grab the projector and a large white sheet we hang up in the garage while Owen and I go on the hunt for the Christmas lights. According to Jeremy, we’d find in the attic. “Have you told Emily about us yet?” Owen asks me when we’re in the attic by ourselves, searching for the box with the decorations. I look up at him for a second before turning to a cardboard box to my right. “Uhm, no… I’m not sure how to tell her I used to date my bandmate?” “Emily’s cool, man. Her favorite uncle was gay and now she lives with his husband and they both know I’m gay, but she never treated me any differently.” “Yeah, but isn’t there a difference between being friends with a gay person and dating a pansexual person?” Owen shrugs whilst fishing a bundle of fairy lights out of a box. “It’s both very queer. I’m sure she’d be cool with it.” “I’ll see what subjects we’ll talk about tomorrow. Might tell her if it comes up.” “Good call, man.” I take a few more bundles of string lights and join Owen downstairs. While Jeremy hangs the white sheet and installs the projector, Owen and I decorate the place with all the Christmas lights we found. Warm whites, cold whites, and colorful ones. It serves for a fairytale looking glow throughout the entire garage. “Why didn’t we do this earlier?” I ask, admiring our work. “It really does give it a more calming atmosphere, doesn’t it?” Jeremy agrees. “Okay, I set up the projector, you just got to plug in a laptop and you’re good to stream your favorite or most romantic movies.” I pat him on the back, offering him a thankful smile. “Thanks, Jere. This was an amazing idea.” “Emily’s going to love it,” says Owen whilst looking up at the lights surrounding us. “Let’s go to sleep now and after school tomorrow, we’ll go shopping for food and set it all up for both of you to enjoy.” Jeremy’s almost giddy with excitement. It really is adorable. Jeremy hands Owen and I a sleeping bag and takes one for himself too. The three of us are used to sleeping on the floor of the garage. Many nights were spent like this ever since Middle School whether it was for sleepovers or when either Owen or I had problems at home. Jeremy often asked us to come over if he’d had a bad day too. Just fun little sleepovers between three best buddies. And they really are the best.

“Won’t be at the Music Store tonight. Find me at Jeremy’s garage to find out why. Wear something comfortable x” I send Emily the text after school just before the boys and I go grocery shopping in Jeremy’s fridge. He did ask his mom to buy a few extra snacks and things, saying it was for rehearsals. I’m glad he didn’t tell her about Emily and me yet. “Okay, we’re all done here!” Jeremy exclaims excitedly, looking at the finished product. My heart is beating faster and faster, scared Emily won’t like it, scared she doesn’t feel the same. “Hey, guys!” Emily’s voice startles me, and all three of us turn around to see her enter the garage. “What’s going o—” she freezes in place, noticing the fairy lights and the big screen. “Wha—” She looks adorable with her eyes bulging out and her mouth agape. I’m frozen for a moment. My feet don’t want to move even when I tell them to. “Charlie said you guys never had a proper date,” Owen springs into action, stepping forward and taking Emily’s hand, “So, we kind of put something together for you guys.” He leads her towards me. I doubt she’s even listening to what Owen’s saying as she’s still gazing around in surprise. “Hope you guys enjoy!” The two dip out of the garage, leaving Emily and me by ourselves. I let her take in the sight for a moment before grabbing her hand and leading her towards the mountain of pillows and blankets. “Charlie…” she breathes out, “This is beautiful.” She sits down while I go to the laptop to pick out a movie, settling on Aladdin since she made a comment about it the other day. I then hand her a glass of orange juice and place the snack platter between us whilst sitting down. “I wanted to do something special for you,” I tell her and clink my glass against hers. “Do you like it?” She nods her head vigorously. “I love it!” She leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Who’s idea was it to do the cinema and the fairy lights?” “Surprisingly, Jeremy’s,” Emily’s eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah, I was shocked too.” “Such a surprising guy, that one.” I nod in agreement. “Let’s watch the movie, shall we?” Emily nods her head and we settle into the cushions. At first, we just sit shoulder to shoulder until she starts fidgeting. “Not comfortable yet?” “I can’t find the right way,” she chuckles, crossing her legs. “Come here,” I open one arm as I lean into the cushions behind me. Her cheeks flush pink as she leans in and rests her head on my shoulder. “Better?” I drop my arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer to me. “Much better,” she mumbles. I’m pretty sure she can hear my heart beating quicker, especially when she puts her arm across my stomach. “Can I confess something?” she asks around halfway into the movie. I look down at her, finding her staring at me, and nod. “I totally watched Aladdin with Uncle Mitch yesterday because it reminded me of you.” I can’t help the smile on my face at how endearing she sounds right now. “I picked it for today because it reminded me of you too.” Emily chuckles slightly and sits up straight to take another sip of her orange juice. “You want to watch something else?” She shakes her head. “Let’s just talk for a while?” I agree, but I can’t help to feel nervous. “I feel like I don’t know that much about you yet, but I somehow feel like I’ve known you for years, you know?” “Yeah, I totally feel the same,” I confess, “Don’t people play that Twenty-Questions game on the first date?” She takes a piece of cheese and pops it into her mouth. “Yeah,” she says after swallowing, “That’s a good idea! I’ll start!” She presses her lips together and looks up at the ceiling, seemingly thinking of a good question to ask. “A simple one; what’s your favorite color?” The color of your eyes. “Uhm… blue, I think? Yours?” “Yellow! It’s a happy color,” she gives me the cutest smile I ever did see. “Your turn!” “Uhm… Do you have siblings?” “Nope, only child over here.” I raise my hand for a high five, saying, “Same, girl!” and she slaps her hand one mine excitedly. “What’s one secret you’re still keeping from your mom?” Her question stumps me. Not that I don’t know the answer, because I do. The nerves just suddenly settle in. She’ll be cool. “That I dated Owen for about a month last year and that I’m pansexual.” Her eyebrows rise in surprise. “Pansexual is the attraction to people regardless of their gender, right? Just so I got it right.” “Yes, exactly,” I gaze at her, awaiting her response of running out of the garage and never coming back, but she stays put. “How was it dating Owen?” She asks instead. “Not great. I mean, Owen was a great guy and we had good moments together, his parents just… never really accepted his sexuality. They still don’t, so being with him was a little rough. We broke up because we realized it didn’t really fit, I guess? With his parents and the band and stuff…” “How did you start dating?” Our game of twenty questions has become a little one sided and about one topic in particular. “He’d just told his parents and they got into a fight, so he came here. Jeremy wasn’t here yet, but I was since I’d run away from my parents too after a fight. He had a panic attack, so to stop him from panicking, I kind of kissed him?” She smiles an endearing smile. “But it’s my turn to ask a question now!” “Right, sorry!” “If you ever got trapped on a deserted island with one friend, who would you choose?” I ask, hoping to be rid of all the questions about me and Owen. Though I love the fact she didn’t up and run. She stuck around and is actually interested to know more about my past relationships and my sexuality. She would only ask if interested. “Madi, probably. I—” she cuts herself off, her eyes widening as if she’d just remembered something. “Oh my God. Oh. My. God!” She scurries off the ground and grabs her backpack quickly. “Madi asked me to hang out tonight after my shift and I told her it was okay since we didn’t plan any band practices! I totally forgot! She’s going to kill me!” She fishes her phone out of her backpack and quickly types in a message while I get up from my spot. “I’m so sorry, Charlie!” She gives me an apologetic look. “It’s okay! We’ll do this over one day. Go to Madi!” A relieved smile cracks through right before she grabs my face and kisses me on the lips. Just a quick, passionate peck, and off she goes, leaving me a little woozy from the electricity that just zipped from her lips to mine and through my entire body. An amazing girl, that one.

Taglist: @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @hannahhistorian92​ @gingerxarmy​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @lovesanimals​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @calamitykaty​ Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

[bumblesimagines]

The Older Lahote

Request: Yes or No

Because I have so many requests, the lovely and soft @magmagicstyle​ offered to help and ended up writing this request! Please give him lots of love!

Alright, I’m thinking a lot of things about this request and I ended up doing something at some point angsty and well, just long, but it will continue so… don’t worry it won’t end up being totally angst. I wanted to include the fact that the reader is soft and not moody at all with Charlie so I wrote that little moment in the woods. Also, yes, this will be a series because… I got permission from the little lady to do what my heart thought was right. I hope you like it! -Mag.

You were Paul’s older brother. To be honest, you were the moodier and stronger brother. You became a shifter before your little buddy; nickname that you liked to use when you were talking about Paul because teasing your brother and watching him get “mad” over something so little as a stupid nickname was way too funny; your size as a wolf was big, almost the same size as Sam’s and well, let’s say that the elders and Sam were confused by this. Of course that with a few months they grew used to this and well, now you were Sam second in command. 

Always helping him get the new wolves accustomed to their shift and well, their life as a pack. Of course, when you met them for the first time, the first thing that came to their minds was always these two words. Strong temper. When the new members of the pack saw your wolf form they could be easily intimidated by this, your dark (you could say that your fur’s color was a mix between your brother’s and Sam’s), big complexion and also your mental state showed you as someone strong that absolutely no one wanted to mess with. You always were the one who walked with the new member, to show them what things they could or couldn’t do depending on different situations. You took care of the threads, using every method that was necessary,  you were Sam’s right hand and helped him in everything he needed. You were in control always, even if you had a strong temper you didn’t let it go in the way of work you never played around or acted like with stupidity or like a little kid. That’s why it was a shock for the members of the pack when they saw you act like an excited puppy in front of Bella Swan’s father. 

The first time you saw the man; Charlie Swan; you haven’t gone through the shift, so you just thought as him as someone passing by, someone who wasn’t so special and you could easily forget in a couple of months. Of course that when you saw him for the first time you thought that he was quite handsome and well, maybe you had a few dreams about kissing him and doing some other things, but you would never admit that out loud. He didn’t look too young but also not too old, He was probably around his middle thirties (that was still quite older than you) and by what you heard from your parents he just got divorced from his wife that took their child away and was living in another state. This made you feel quite bad for the man because he looked genuinely sweet and caring, even if he acted quite awkward from time to time. 

You saw him a couple of times later that year and when he saw you he talked with you for a while, not really engaging in a long conversation but you didn’t expect a lot considering the fact that you were still a child finishing your high school studies. Still, he was always kind and patient with you, maybe because you made him think about his daughter  (even if you were at least ten years older than her). Even you could remember that in one of his visits; when you were some years older than the first time you saw him; you talked to him about some problems that you had controlling your temper, knowing that this issue was out of control around that couple of days, not really understanding why was that happening to you. 

Then; just a couple of weeks later; you went through the change of becoming a wolf and well, you forgot about your life before this. You even gave your brother a cold shoulder for a couple of months, understanding that being a young wolf and not really knowing how to control your temper would put him in danger of getting hurt because of you; and even if you liked to tease your brother, you didn’t want to cause him pain. Then he also became a shifter and even if your relationship was a little bit hard because of the months in between yours and his change, he eventually understood and you were already in good speaking terms.

The second time you saw Charlie you were in your wolf form, the pack was hunting some vampires that were threatening the lives of some people in the reserve and well, also the Cullens; and even if you didn’t like them so much (let’s be honest, the smell of death that surrounds them is horrible) you respected their power and also you wanted to protect the people that couldn’t protect themselves. You were alone in the woods when it happened. This man appeared out of nowhere, with a shotgun in his hands and a big jacket around him; at that moment you didn’t see him clearly but you couldn’t help but think that it was good that he had a jacket because of the cold weather  (of course this thought was quite weird for you because you didn’t have a relationship with the man, not even as friends). After a few seconds you reacted and turned to see him directly, he was frozen on the spot, his eyes wide as a deer in front of a car and you couldn’t help but think that he was quite adorable. 

Then, just in that exact moment; or maybe after a few milliseconds; of looking into his eyes, it happened, you felt how a thread pulled you and him, making you want to go and take care of him, making you feel the need to protect him, to be around him, to be his friend, his lover, to be the most important person in his life. In that moment nothing around you mattered anymore, the things that just a few seconds ago were the most important things in your life, those things were in a second or even a third-place compared to Charlie. In your eyes, this man became the most perfect and wonderful being in the entire world, his brown curls and chocolate brown eyes because the most beautiful features that a person could have. Your life, in that exact second, had a new purpose, this being the fact of making the man in front of you, as happy as possible.

After the storm of feelings that attacked you ended, you saw that Charlie looked quite scared of you,  making you whine softly, but then you had an idea, hoping it would work you just lay down of the grass, looking to the floor, trying to help Charlie to feel more comfortable around you. In that moment he lowered his weapon and put it down on the grass, approaching you slowly, carefully and almost with doubt. The man extended his hand and touched your head softly, patting it like you were some kind of dog. 

‘I can already imagine the reaction of the pack, fuck’  You thought and let out a soft sigh, and even if that wasn’t your intention, Charlie took that sigh as a happy one, so he sat by your side and kept caressing your fur. 

“What is a wolf as big as you doing here?” He asked softly, not really expecting an answer but still, not wanting to keep quiet about the situation.

‘Apparently, I’m here to imprint on a human... ‘ You thought while opening your eyes and moving your head closer to Charlie’s hand, just wanting to get more caresses and enjoying the fact that his imprint liked his wolf form. The older man in this moment chuckled as a reaction, he couldn’t believe the fact that this big and in some point scary wolf was acting like a puppy who was waiting to be adopted.

“Well, little one, I have to get going.” Charlie said, earning a soft ‘huff’ from the wolf, in some point because of the nickname that, well, for you it didn’t make any sense taking into consideration your size and also because you didn’t want to let him go and leave you, but you knew that he needed to be in his home, safe and where the crazy vampire that was attacking humans couldn’t harm him or even smell him.

In that moment you stood up and pushed him softly towards the end of the woods, wanting to go with him but knowing that you couldn’t do that. So you just moved him until he was close to the end of the backyard of his home, just wanting him to be safe. 

“Alright, alright, I see you want me to go home...” Charlie said in between chuckles, not really asking himself about how the mysterious wolf knew about his home but just thinking about it as a coincidence.

You stayed in the woods, taking care of his imprint safety, then, when you could hear Charlie inside his home, making himself some dinner and just fixing his things to get a good night of rest, in that moment you let yourself breath softly, relaxing and going back to your usual mental state; just thinking about how now that his imprint was alright, you could go and work like you were supposed to do. Slowly, you started to walk towards the woods, disappearing inside them and just looking around, having another reason for killing the fucking vampire that was hurting the people of Forks.

Just like this, your patrol hours were over and you could go home and take a shower, rest and just enjoying that this night you could sleep in your bed. You easily changed to your human form and put on some jeans, then you kept walking until you got home, from your sides you could see two wolves going to take their positions and start patrolling. On your way home you stopped by Sam’s, hugged Emily as a hello and as a way of calming yourself (even if you were moody and well, really intimidating, Emily wasn’t scared of you and often treated you as if you were her older brother, something that was quite comforting and well, she always helped you to feed your little buddy) and just went to talk to your alpha. 

“Sam.” You said, your voice sounding softer than it has ever sounded before, even if your stance was strong and quite similar to a soldier’s ready for receiving orders, Sam could see that you were nervous, also, there was the fact that you weren’t in your wolf form like you did always after a pratol because this way it was easier to inform him about the things around the reserve. 

“What happened, (Y/N)?” Sam asked while looking directly to your eyes, not really trying to intimidate you but also not allowing you to lie about the situation that happened before.

“I imprinted on someone.” You said, direct, firm and not really thinking about the possible reactions of your alpha, knowing that it was quite probable that he would be excited for you and that he would congratulate you because of this. You weren’t wrong.

“That’s wonderful (Y/N)!” Sam said with a big smile on his face and then went closer to you to give you a hug and a pat on the back. “Who are they?” He then asked, and stayed silent waiting for an answer.

“Charlie Swan,” You said, and in that exact moment, while you saw how Sam’s eyes became wider and how his smile disappeared while you heard how the door opened and the rest of the pack (except Embry and Paul; thank god; that were patrolling at that moment) entered the room like wild animals and just started talking or yelling their opinions and concerns, in that second you could feel how hell broke loose.

[nellie-elizabeth]

okay, bear with me because this is kind of an unhinged ramble, but one of the things that’s sort of been driving me bonkers in the back of my head is that the finale was terrible... but that I honestly think it would have been quite easy to change just a few little things to make it... well, maybe not good, but certainly less rage-inducing. I don’t think any version of the story as presented to us would have left me thrilled by this ending, but I can actually think of a few very easy changes that would have had me walking away maybe a little irked, certainly disappointed in what we didn’t get to see, but ultimately more at peace.

Let’s pretend this is a world in which they couldn’t/didn’t want to have Misha in the finale, couldn’t get a big ol’ group of returning stars... and we basically had to work with a bare-bones structure like what we saw in the finale. So this isn’t pie-in-the-sky, what I would do if I could have what I wanted... This is down to earth, pragmatic, simple things they could have done to make it better, if we’re constrained to the basic shell we were provided.

Ready?

1) This is the big one: flip around the "Sam’s domestic life with his son” montage so that it starts BEFORE the vampire case and Dean’s death.

So basically, the montage at the beginning, we see the boys living normally in the bunker. We get the pie scene (which I’ll touch on in a second). But then, instead of segueing straight into the hunt where Dean dies, we see a flash of the next 5 to 10 years of their lives. We see them living in the bunker, but it gets slowly more homey, more lived-in. Vitally, for Dean’s character specifically, we see hints of him picking up new hobbies, maybe he’s playing the guitar, we see him in the kitchen, maybe he’s playing D&D, I don’t know. Something to show that Dean is living life and enjoying it, getting to find out who he is without the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s not totally settled, you get the sense that the lingering sadness of his losses, the trauma of his life, is always going to weigh on him... but he’s doing what he can to enjoy the little things, and he’s taking pride in his continued work as a hunter.

Eileen moves in, and if we can’t see the actress, fine, we can have Sam saying “Eileen called, she’s getting home late, we should start dinner” or whatever. It’s implied that the three of them are living there together. We see that Sam has a son, we see that Dean is an active part of the kid’s life, a great uncle, totally spoiling his nephew. Maybe we see shots of Sam and Dean on other hunts, we have phone calls, mentions like “hey, Jody has a lead” or “Charlie called, she wants us to back her up on xyz.” Basically, through a montage or through a short sequence of scenes, we see that Sam and Dean have continued on, life as usual... but there’s a peace to it now without big cosmic forces standing in their way. Maybe Sam and Eileen semi-retire and move out into the suburbs, and we get shots of Dean-as-the-new-Bobby, a role I always imagined for Sam, but it works for Dean, too.... the bunker is central station, he’s coordinating things, he’s finding new skills within the life of hunting, he’s mentoring people and still getting to save people and hunt things.

And then, Sam and Dean, who don’t always hunt together anymore as Dean often goes off with other hunters, and Sam and Eileen are less active in the field now that they have a kid, decide to take a case together, just a routine hunt. Cue Dean getting impaled on a nail (or maybe he dies in a less awkward way so he doesn’t have to lean against a wall and make his big death scene looking completely unhurt? Which I thought was really strange).

But basically, we could have a version of the death scene as stands. I do not hate the idea of Dean dying in a relatively “mundane” way... literally just the idea that he lived for a handful of years after defeating Chuck makes the idea of his death SO much less empty and devastating for me, because this time Dean didn’t get cut down before he got to enjoy his life at all. It’s still sad that he’s dying younger than he should have, but he died doing a thing that he loved, he found love in the hunting lifestyle without the pressure of other’s expectations, and we got to SEE that, we got to see him making it his own, and making it just one important slice in a more robust and happy life.

Vitally, instead of saying “it’s always been you and me” during the goodbye speech, and making it all about how Sam is the center of Dean’s world, it would be framed more like “I’ll be okay, Sammy, and so will you... go home to your family, to our family, tell the kid to be good, but not too good, okay? And I’ll go be with our family that’s already passed on... we’ll see each other again. We’ve got Jack looking after us.” When Sam says “I can’t do this alone,” Dean doesn’t answer “yes you can...” Instead he says “you’re not alone, Sam.” Because he’s not. He has a family already at this point, and Dean is his family, but he’s not the only person left in Sam’s world that he loves. Dean can still say he was scared to get Sam at Stanford, that he didn’t know what he’d have done without Sam... but he’s so glad they got to be family, got to share so many amazing years, got to be best friends and be there for each other through so much craziness. This time, Sam’s “don’t leave me” isn’t quite as soul-renderingly tragic, because Sam has a wife and a kid already. The death scene would emphasize the tragedy of this separation, but acknowledges that they’ve grown to have more to live for outside of each other.

Then, we see more of Sam growing old, but he seems less utterly miserable, had more years with his brother before the end, knows that Dean got to be a part of his kid’s life, and feels confident that Dean is at peace and that he’ll see him eventually.

2) The second change is even more simple, it’s literally just adding in a couple extra lines of dialogue to... fix the Castiel situation a bit. So. Ahem. Again, this is imagining a world where Misha can’t be in the episode, where we’re keeping the basic structure. There are just two small changes that fix this, for me.

One, before the montage and Sam having a kid and all that, at the pie festival scene at the beginning... when Sam says “I miss Cas and Jack,” we get a slightly more robust response from Dean. He talks about how they fought so hard to break free of their unhealthy cycles, to escape the influence of fate, and that as much as he wants Cas back, he can’t risk making things worse again and betraying Cas’ sacrifice... but THEN, IMPORTANTLY, he says “Jack’s gonna be hand’s-off, but we know he’ll look after Cas no matter what.” This could be just a faith thing, or if we’re allowed to stretch back into 15x19 and fix that too, Jack could even say that as part of his goodbye, like, “I’ll make sure Cas is at peace.” So now, even though it’s annoying that Dean isn’t rushing to rescue Cas from the Empty, it could be more akin to the later decision when Dean tells Sam not to try and bring him back. Sam knows Dean is going to a peaceful afterlife when he dies, and Dean and Sam let Cas go because they know he’s safe with Jack and also given his rest/peace. (Instead of what we got, which was just... they knew Cas was in the Empty and didn’t even bother checking if Jack would like... handle that?)

Second, when Dean goes to Heaven, at least having lived a decade or so of the life that Cas sacrificed himself to provide for him, he sees Bobby, Bobby gives him the spiel, says that Jack and Cas helped make Heaven better (in this version, Dean would be less surprised by this; he would have known even as he was dying that Jack was going to look out for him and all of the other deceased souls). And then Bobby says, “what do you want to do?” and Dean says “I want to see my family... gotta get some good quality time in before Sam shows up and hogs all the attention.” So it’s like a balance of the fact that he’s waiting for Sam and can’t wait to see him again, but it’s implied that he goes and hangs out with his mom (and dad, ugh, John is the WORST, but maybe he went through The Good Place afterlife and he’s learned to be a good person lol), with Bobby, with Cas, and even with Jack, maybe, as perhaps the new God doesn’t mind chillin’ with the already-dead humans, or at least the ones who raised him.

It would be dealer’s choice as to how Destiel-ish Dean’s final line here could be... he could say the thing about waiting for Sam but going to reunite with his family, first, and throw in something about “there’s a conversation with someone that I really need to finish.” Something vague enough that the homophobes would let it fucking air on TV, but promising enough to put a smile on at least some people’s faces.

Then, instead of the montage being just Dean driving around, we get something a little different, but still very simple. We see Dean maybe hanging out in a house in Heaven, playing with Miracle the dog, maybe a callback to a hobby we saw him have on Earth, playing music or cooking, implying a full afterlife even if we don’t get to see the other people... he’s setting a table for like a dozen people who are coming over soon for dinner, or he’s shouting out “hurry up, my parents are hosting” to an unseen occupant in another room, we see Cas’ trench coat slung over a chair, general signs of habitation and home.

We’re cutting between this Heaven montage of Dean, with the montage of Sam on Earth, growing older (and in my version, someone who knows what they’re doing makes Jared’s wig and age makeup look less like the stuff of nightmares, oh holy hell....). We see Sam letting go, dying of old age, going to his rest...

And in Heaven, Dean suddenly freezes in the middle of playing fetch with the dog, or frying up some bacon for breakfast. He gets a look on his face... a hopeful smile. He’s just realized that Sam is coming. He can sense it. This is what he’s been waiting for, the last thing he needs to make Heaven truly perfect. He gets in the impala (which isn’t literally the spirit of his car, it’s just that everything he loves from Earth gets to be with him in Heaven), and he drives off to the bridge while “Carry On Wayward Son” kicks onto the radio. He gets out of the car, reunites with Sam, says “hey, Sammy. Everyone’s going to be so excited to see you.” They hug, they look out over the bridge... The End.

SO. Just to reiterate, this is NOT my version of what the “perfect” finale would have been. This is more just a way for me to process my feelings about the fact that the episode was pretty much entirely awful in my opinion, and it would have been relatively easy to fix it so that it was only... medium awful. Like, with basically no huge changes, just letting Dean be a part of his nephew’s life, getting to be a part of Sam’s life as Sam started a family, and then still having the poignancy of him dying before his time, but also as a hero, as the best version of the thing he always thought he needed to be but now has chosen to be, has taken ownership and pride in. And then by just buffing up some dialogue in a couple of spots, we could have had an episode that still centered primarily on Sam and Dean, still ended on just the two of them (which, frankly, I’m not mad about, it’s their show, and it has been from day one...), but still honored the message of “family don’t end in blood.” Still honored the idea of found family and community and belonging and living for more than just each other.

And if that’s what I had walked away with... well, I would have had some complaints. But I think the whole thing would have felt a lot less... empty to me. And it would have been doable, within the constraints of COVID, and limited actor availability, etc.

There have been some finales that I’ve hated so truly and thoroughly that there was simply no way to engage with them without it tainting the whole show for me. This finale was so weird, because I feel like just a few band-aids, some punch-ups to the script, would have made me feel SO much better about what we got. They didn’t need to reinvent the wheel with this one. Even given the constraints, they could have been a little more creative, a little more thoughtful, and pissed people off a lot less.

[idreamofplaid]

Christmas Promise

Summary: Dean reached a point in his life where something has to change, and he finally makes a decision about his future. 

Characters: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2594

A/N: For the purposes of this series, pretend Cassie and Lisa didn’t exist. 

A/N 2: This is Part 4 of Dean’s Christmas Carol. I originally planned on this being the last part, but as I wrote the story a Part 5 materialized. Read Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future. 

Dean drove all night to get to her. He put down the windows and let the wind blow into the Impala. The music playing on the tape deck didn’t do much to calm his nerves. Everything reminded him of her. They had listened to these same songs together when he had taken her driving in Baby, which really meant they’d ended up in the backseat. She had loved his car, and he loved her even more for that. It was just one more reason he knew she was perfect for him.

It was the carefree memories he tried to keep in his mind. The vision of the future Charlie had shown him was too painful to think about. Y/N had always been so upbeat. She was optimistic and believed the best could actually happen. Dean couldn’t stand to think of her giving up and being alone, settling for hookups with some jerk who didn’t come close to being good enough to be anywhere near her.

The question was, did he deserve her? He was the one who had left her after spending the best months of his life with her. She had made his heart feel light in a way it never had. Monsters didn’t matter when he was with her, and she made him feel hope when he would have thought that was completely impossible. 

Zeppelin lyrics poured out of the speakers, and Dean tried to think of a way to tell her who he was, to explain to her why he’d gone when the only thing he’d wanted was to be with her always. If she slammed the door in his face, it would be understandable, but that wasn’t her way. 

She would listen to him. Dean knew that. He would at least have a chance to tell her what he wanted her to know, and once he did; it would be up to her. She would have the chance to decide for herself that he should have given her in the first place, but had he been wrong? That was a long time ago. He didn’t know the things then that he did now, and he sure as hell didn’t have the experience killing things that might intend her harm. 

He trusted himself and his ability to protect her more now. Back then, demons were the biggest challenge he’d faced; and they had only been low level demons in the grand scheme of things. If Dean could face God and Lucifer and come out on top, whatever else came his way, or hers, now; he could handle. That was, if she’d give him the chance; but he knew he at least had to try. He knew now that doing nothing was one regret he couldn’t live with.

When Baby turned onto the familiar street where Y/N’s coffee shop was located, Dean took a deep breath. What if she wasn’t there? What if she was? He pulled up by the curb in front and got out of the car. The morning was cold, and he blew his breath in his hands to warm them. He couldn’t see her inside. It was early still, maybe the shop wasn’t open yet. It had to be; this was where people got coffee. Of course it was open. Dean knew he was stalling. C’mon, just open the damn door. What’s the worst thing that can happen? She can hate me for what I did to her, and I can hurt her more than I already did.

Dean gathered his courage and pushed the door open. A bell jingled as he walked inside. So much for buying himself a few more seconds to get himself together. Y/N came walking out from a back area of the shop that Dean knew she used for storage, or at least she used to. There was a big smile on her face. “Come on in, get out of the cold and have…” 

She stopped and stood perfectly still when she saw him. Dean’s heart started beating faster, and he searched for the right words. What he said was, “Hey, Y/N.”

“W...What are you…? Dean?”  She put the bag of coffee she was holding down on the nearest table, and walked closer to him. Her hair was longer than it had been when Dean saw her last.  It was pulled back, but he caught a glimpse of the loose braid that fell halfway down her back. There was very little makeup on her face, just enough to allow her natural beauty to shine through. She was wearing jeans and a simple black t-shirt with a plaid shirt over it that looked like something she might have borrowed from him. No one would have described her as glamorous, but there was nothing she could have done that would have made her more attractive to Dean.

She still took his breath away. “I wanted to see you, Y/N.”

Y/N picked up the coffee again, walked behind the counter, and poured the beans into a grinder. The noise delayed her response for several seconds. She emptied the freshly ground coffee into one of the espresso machine and turned it on. This was her normal routine, and she answered Dean like he hadn’t disappeared from her life fifteen years ago. “Why did you want to see me?”

Dean walked up to the counter to be closer to her, but it was still between them. “There are things I never said to you, things I need to tell you because you deserve to hear the truth; and I can’t live with you not knowing anymore.” His words were falling out in a jumble. Dean hoped he was making some kind of sense to her.

Y/N didn’t leave her spot by the espresso machine. The aroma of a rich French Roast filled the air. Dean recognized the smell; he hadn’t forgotten what she taught him about coffee. “O...Okay, then why don’t you tell me whatever it is you came here to say.” 

“Is it alright if I sit down?”

Y/N waved her hand at a bar stool. “Sure. Go ahead.”

“The way I left things...that wasn’t...I didn’t…”  Dean shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t want to leave you, Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes dropped to the counter. She didn’t respond. Instead, she turned to the espresso machine and filled a cup. Dean decided he was going to have to talk to her back in order to say the things he came here to say. Her braid swayed as she drank, and Dean focused on that while he spoke.

“There were things you never knew about me, Y/N. Things I thought it was better not to tell you. I was involved in some dangerous stuff, and I didn’t want it following me to you. The reason I left was to keep you safe. I thought it was the best thing, but now I know I should have told you everything and given you the chance to decide for yourself.” 

Dean paused and scrubbed his hand down his face. Tears had gathered in his eyes, and they were threatening to fall. “I came here because you deserve to know the truth if you still want to hear it.”

Y/N had put down her cup, and she was grasping the edge of the counter. She turned slowly now to face Dean. “Tell me. Tell me what you didn’t tell me then.”

Dean made a fist and tapped it against his mouth a couple of times and took a deep breath. “This is going to sound crazy. It is crazy, but it’s my life.” He looked directly into her eyes with the most serious and sincere expression he could muster. “I hunt monsters.”

Her eyes didn’t leave his, and she didn’t say anything. Dean couldn’t read her expression, so he went on. “Just about everything you can think of is real, and I kill it. Vampires, werewolves, banshees, ghouls.” 

“Monsters? You came here to tell me you hunt monsters?” She leaned back against the counter and looked him over. “Have you been drinking?”

“No, Y/N. I haven’t. I’m completely sober. I drove all night to get here. From Kansas. I live there now with my brother. He hunts monsters too. We have a headquarters there, a home base.” Dean ran his hand through his short hair not knowing which way he should go with this next. “I didn’t want any of the insane crap I deal with to affect you, to hurt you, so I left; but I promise I didn’t want to go. Nothing has ever hurt me so bad. Still hasn’t.”

He was all in now, so he was just going to go with it. “I think about you all the time, Y/N. I never stopped thinking about you.”

Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “You didn’t get married?”

“No, there’s never been anyone I’ve had the guts to say this to, never been anyone I wanted to come clean with. I never let anybody know who I really am, Y/N. I came the closest with you, and I want to tell you all of it. You’re the only person who ever made me think about the future, about the rest of my life, about spending the rest of my life with someone. I still think about it.”

Y/N walked around the bar and came closer to Dean. “I don’t know what to say. Is there something else you haven’t told me?” 

Dean weighed his options. Where did he start? Angels? Demons? The Apocalypse? Which one? Y/N walked closer and reached out to touch Dean’s face. “Doesn’t matter. I still think about you too.”

It happened fast, and it happened naturally like no time had passed at all. Dean put his hand on her waist, pulled her close, and kissed her. He felt her arms wrap around him. His tongue glided over the seam of her lips, and she opened her mouth to him. All the years melted away in that kiss. Dean was young again, young and in love. 

They kissed each other for a long time, and when they finally pulled away; Dean cupped her cheek in his hand and once again memorized her face. He could feel her breathing, and it was the happiest he had been since he last held her. She whispered to him, “Come upstairs with me?”

Silently, he nodded; and she put her hand over his. Y/N led him up the stairs to her apartment where they had first made love so long ago. The furnishings were different, but the place still had all the coziness that told Dean it was her home. Everything about it said it was hers from the braided rugs on the floor to the handmade ceramics. 

Dean took her to the four poster bed covered with what looked like a handmade quilt. She took his hand and pulled him down to the bed with her. They sat on the edge, and he watched her bring her braid over her shoulder. She pulled the hairband from the end of it and placed it on the nightstand. Then she took her hair in her hands and started to separate the strands she had woven together into the braid. When she was done, she spread her hair around her shoulders. 

Dean watched her every movement, entranced by being so close to her again, the intimacy of it. He lay her down on the bed and kissed along the line of her cheek and down her neck then moved his mouth back up to hers. She sat up and took off her plaid shirt along with the tank underneath.

Under it, she was wearing a plain white cotton bra, and it was the sexiest thing Dean had ever seen. He brushed his thumb lightly along the line of the cup; he inhaled sharply and closed his eyes at the feel of the soft skin on her breast. He kissed her cheek while he continued to touch her. “I missed you so much, Y/N.”

He was still wearing all his Winchester layers, and she pulled at his jacket trying to get it off. Dean kissed her cheek again. “I’ve got it, baby.” He treated her to a private striptease, taking off first the jacket and then the flannel he was wearing beneath it. When he lifted the hem of his t-shirt revealing his chest and stomach, it was her turn to suck in her breath. 

Dean reached behind her, unhooked her bra, and slipped the straps down her arms. “You are still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He kissed her softly, his tongue circling hers and exploring every part of her mouth. She sighed into his kiss, but then pulled away and buried her face in the side of his neck. 

Dean’s hand went instinctively to the back of her head. “What is it, sweetheart?” 

“I thought about this so many times. I imagined you coming back and saying you still wanted me. I can’t believe it’s happening.”

He cradled her head in his hand and kissed her temple. “It is, baby. I’m here, and this is real. It’s always been real.” He was so close now; it was hard for her to breathe. “Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”

She abruptly lifted her head. “No. I want to. I need to. In case you….”

Dean put his finger under her chin and lifted her face up so she was looking into his eyes. “It’s not going to be like that. I’ll never leave you again. My heart broke when I left you. It’s been broken ever since...until now.”

“I trust you, Dean.” The sweet forgiveness in those words was more than Dean had dared to hope that she would give him. 

In return, he was going to give her everything he had in him to give. “I promise I won’t hurt you.” He unbuttoned her jeans and eased the zipper down. Dean flattened his hand against her stomach and pushed it down slowly until it slid beneath her panties. He brushed his fingers through her folds, and his eyes locked onto hers. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

His fingers found her clit, and he rubbed it until she arched beneath his hand. “That’s it, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.” She came on his hand with his name on her lips. Dean held her through the aftershocks until her breathing slowed then he finished undressing her and himself.

He wrapped one arm under her and supported his weight on it. With his other hand, he brushed her hair from her face. Dean kissed the corner of her mouth then looked into her eyes while he pushed himself inside her. He was still for a few seconds then he pushed in deeper and waited again, giving her time to adjust to him. 

Her body was tight around his shaft; he could feel her stretching to accept him. He threaded his fingers through hers and held her hand as he started to move. She let go for him, and he did the same for her. Dean breathed into her with his kisses while he moved inside her. When she climaxed, her walls tightened around him, and he came with her. 

Dean lay on top of her, panting for several seconds, before he rolled to his side and pulled her into his arms. She rested her hand on his chest and made little circles with her fingers. Her voice was a whisper. “I wish we could always be like this.” 

Dean ran his fingers through her hair. He would find a way to give her that. “We can always have this, Y/N.” Dean stopped combing his fingers through her hair and got very still. “There’s something else I haven’t told you, something I need for you to know.” He kissed her hair and inhaled the sweet smell of flowers that lingered on it. It calmed him and gave him the courage to tell her what he’d been holding inside for more than a decade. “I love you, Y/N.”

Everything Forever: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @becs-bunker @gh0stgurl @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @sea040561 @dawnie1988 @maddiepants @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @iknowwheremytowelis @wendibird @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @daisymoder72 @sorenmarie87 @oldfreakything

Dean/Jensen Love: @deansyahtzee @flamencodiva @deanwinchesterswitch @waywardrose13 @feelmyroarrrr @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @team-free-will-you-idjiot​ @ellewritesfix05​

Dean’s Christmas Carol: @moron225

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[nelllraiser]

hell to pay | margot, remmy, & nell

LOCATION: a Ring base hideout. PARTIES: @g0t-ri5h, @whatsin-yourhead, and @nelllraiser SUMMARY: nell, remmy, and margot hunt down roy— charlie’s angels style, and the last nail is put into the ring’s coffin. CONTENTS: mild torture, violence

After doing in the other two big names of the Ring, this seemed like it would be a last step. The culmination of all her and Remmy had been working towards ever since they’d been holed up in cages beneath the Ring. Margot had told Nell and Remmy that this was where she’d seen Roy going in and out, and the witch was ready to turn the man inside out after what he’d done to herself, her family, her friends. She’d learned after Montgomery that the fastest way to escape danger was to eliminate the threat as soon as possible. The warehouse where Roy had been seen going in and out of seemed to be a treasure trove if the stills Margot had given them were anything to go off of. It seemed that the remainder of those trying to rebuild the Ring were holed up here as well. Nell knew that Remmy wasn’t all that interested in a massacre, so she’d brought something else instead, a nasty little curse she’d prepared beforehand, one that was simply waiting for the finishing touch to be brought into reality. That would be enough to make sure those responsible for the Ring never took an unwilling fighter again. “Are you ready?” she asked Remmy, crouched a good distance from the entrance to the building. Then she was speaking over to Margot in her remote location. “We’re about to go in. Is the camera at the front door still on, or can we start?”

This was going to be it, Remmy had told themself. This was the last thing they were going to do for the Ring. No more fires, no more prison breaks, no more shake downs. They weren’t sure they’d be able to do much more, anyway. And they hoped Nell understood, at least in some way, why they couldn’t raise their hand to others anymore. There was just too much of it, and they almost felt a yearning to be done. A need to be done. They’d put it aside for now, though, because no matter how they looked at it, this needed to happen. These people needed to be stopped, more than Remmy needed to solidify a vow of non-violence. So this would be it. The last hoorah. The last stand. At least...they hoped. They crouched next to Nell, eyes focused on the main entrance. They’d made sure to skip a meal before coming here, in case their strength was needed. And though hunger didn’t claw at them as badly as other times, they could feel the prickle. “I’m ready,” they said back to Nell, before listening in for Margot’s instructions. Whatever she was doing, they hoped it worked. They hoped no one needed to die uselessly today.

Margot had no idea why she was helping these two strangers. She had no vendetta or revenge plot like her accomplices, but this mission felt like the beginning of something. A gateway to a different world. What she was getting herself into she didn’t know, and while that fact scared Margot, it also spurred her on. Besides, she was in a safer place than Nell and Remmy at this moment. While they were on the frontlines, she was working from the comfort of her bedroom. Her set-up was a myriad of two computer screens she’d ‘borrowed’ from the AV club, her roommate’s gaming headset and a router she was using to tap the warehouse server. Margot could see the two of them crouching on one of the external cameras, just barely, invisible unless you knew they were there. “I’m ready if you are.” She told both of them, sensing their anticipation. Margot had managed to rig up Nell’s wireless headphones, and one of Remmy’s hearing aids so that they could all communicate. Margot was pretty confident that their transmission would be uninterrupted. “I’m going to cut the camera. But, get in quick, we don’t want them to catch on.” Margot executed the command on her keyboard. The camera feed that was showing them to her went black, and when it came back on, they were gone. “Goodluck.” Margot whispered. 

The moment Margot cut the cameras, Nell sprang forward from her hiding place, sparing a glance at Remmy to make sure they weren’t far behind. She sprinted the distance to the door as quickly as possible, thanking her natural speed as she went. Stopping at the door, she pressed a quick and urgent hand against the lock, muttering a spell under her breath as the door opened with a little click. Opening it, she ushered Remmy in behind her, closing it the next second. “Okay, we’re clear of the entrance,” she whispered into the modified AirPod Margot had made for her. “Do we know where the next camera is?” Already her heart was pounding, but it wasn’t from nerves. They were so close to what they’d been working towards ever since they’d been taken by the Ring, so close to finishing all of this once and for all. She could nearly taste it along with the knowledge that Roy was hopefully holed up here, ready for her to rip into him and make the piece of shit pay for all that he’d done. He wouldn’t be allowed to hurt her family, her friends, or herself any more.

Remmy followed close behind Nell. They were bred for this. Following, taking instructions, completing the mission, the task. They remembered how refined the world had been when they’d narrowed their focus down at the Ring. Too much had gone wrong there, they couldn’t let that happen here. So while they kept their focus on Nell, they let their eye wander around to take in their entire surroundings. No one was following, no one was up ahead. They pressed in close to Nell, crouched in the corner. Heard their voices clear through the speaker in their ear. Nell had her magic, Remmy had a taser they’d grabbed from Morgan’s drawer. If she knew what they were doing right now, she’d probably have their head. But they weren’t going to let Nell do this alone. There was no way. “The door is secure, there’s no one up ahead, either,” they muttered, turning to look down the hallway. “We know what room we’re heading for?”

Margot let out a deep breath. They were in. “There doesn’t seem to be a camera in the hall, not one on their servers anyway. You should be good to go.” Margot switched a few tabs on her computer. Squinting at the material she had pulled up. “Building plans I downloaded from city hall show a larger room through the corridor coming up on your right. Could be the place?” 

“Good,” was Nell’s simple answer to both Margot and Remmy, not seeing a reason to talk anymore than was necessary during a time like this. Carefully, she made her way up the hallway in the direction Margot had mentioned, barely daring to breathe as she crept towards the door on the right hand side. It wouldn’t do to have their cover blown so close to their prize. Every cell in Nell’s body seemed to be humming in anticipation, ready to catch the rats that were hopefully lurking on the other side of this door. “Do you wanna do this big or small?” She asked Remmy, knowing there were benefits to both ways. What she really was asking was whether they wanted to go in guns blazing or something more subtle. Whatever answer they may have, she didn’t hesitate to pull out one of her many hidden knives, tracing the tip of it along her thumb to create a pebble of blood. Wordlessly, she swiped it over one of her summoning tattoos along with a few mumble words of something that sounded vaguely demonic. In another instant, her three hellhounds she often called upon were assembled between herself and Remmy, ready for orders after being Summoned by her magic.

Margot’s voice was a comfort on the other end of the line. Knowing they weren’t going in blind helped calm Remmy’s nerves. They followed Nell down to the door that Margot pointed them to, stealing themself quietly against the wall when they stopped to gather themselves. They looked from Nell to the three dogs that had appeared, remembering them from the beach. Or, at least, what little they did remember from that day. That wasn’t something they wanted a repeat of. “If we go in big, there could be a fight. We should try and do this quiet. The less people caught in the crossfire, the better, right?” they suggested quietly. “And if things get out of hand, well..then we go big. Sound good?” A question doled out to both Nell and Margot, knowing it would be her responsibility to lead them out of here if things went sideways.

Once they had disappeared into the depths of the hallway, Margot had no visual on them. It seemed that this organisation had a habit of placing cameras sporadically and unplanned. This meant she did not see the curses that Nell had conjured up, or the three hounds that defied Margot’s rational beliefs. This was perhaps a relief; Nell and Remmy didn’t have time to catch her up at this moment. “Sounds good to me.” Margot spoke through her headset. She had her own plans if things went haywire, she just hoped the other two were as prepared. 

Scooby sniffed curiously at Remmy for a moment, as if wondering whether or not Nell had brought them the zombie as a snack. But the witch quickly gave the hellhound a stern look and shake of her head, and the pup was quickly back on task. As for less people caught in the crossfire...Nell didn’t entirely think that was a bad thing, but putting more deaths on Remmy’s conscious wasn’t something she was entirely willing to be responsible for...so a smaller entrance would have to do. “Sure...sounds good.” With another whispered spell, she unlocked the door separating them from their quarry, and inched it open. At first, there was no resistance, and as she stepped into the room with the dogs at her sides no one looked up from what they were doing, having no reason to think they’d been infiltrated. Most of the faces blurred past Nell’s eyes as she searched for one man in particular. The one she desperately wanted to rip limb from limb. “He’s not here,” she hissed, frustration getting the better of her as she found no familiar face. “Roy’s not fucking here.” 

He wasn’t there. They’d come all this way, and the one person they’d been looking for wasn’t there. Remmy could feel Nell’s frustration, her anger-- she’d wanted so desperately to punish the man that had poisoned her sister and her, and Remmy. They’d both wanted him to be there, and Remmy felt the pain of this loss after the realization hit. “Where is he!?” they asked, teeth grit, jaw clenched. None of the men had moved yet, pressed into staying where they were thanks to the three flaming dogs flanking them. “Where’s Roy? Why isn’t he here!?” they shouted, anger gnashing through their throat and onto their tongue. 

“He’s not there? I could swear—” Margot had been sure he would be there. She’d been watching camera footage for days measuring his comings and goings. Margot hadn’t seen him leave, but she supposed there could be some kind of back entrance she didn’t have eyes on. Her brow furrowed in annoyance and confusion.“Well, shit!” Margot threw up her hands. What were they doing all of this for if the ‘big bad’ wasn’t even there? Margot did what she could to recompose herself. “Is the plan still a go? Or is it over?”

“It’s not over,” Nell bit out into her modified comm through gritted teeth. It’s not fucking over. Nell’s own fury matched Remmy’s in an instant, and a frustrated growl was ripped from her throat as she advanced on the man that looked most frightened of the hellhounds. “Tell me where the fuck he is,” she began, tugging on the collar of his shirt to make him bow to her height. “Tell me where he is, and I might think twice about turning you into a dog snack for my friends here.” As if on cue, the hellhounds began to circle the man, nipping not so playfully at his heels. His body grew tense, and the effect of the demon dogs was instantaneous as he stammered out an answer. “I- I don’t know! I don’t know! He never tells us where he goes! Says it’s safer that way!”

Remmy watched Nell advance on the man that looked most afraid. She might’ve been small in size, but she was not small in stature. Her presence could fill an entire room. They kept their eye on the other two, who looked ready to run if the opportunity presented itself. One of them made to move, but Remmy sidled into their path, simply shaking their head, eyes sharp. They weren’t sure they’d hurt the man, but they would restrain him from leaving. They had to. They looked to Nell, feeling Margot’s frustration as well. “Now what?” they asked, ready to follow whatever instructions either doled out. “Do we just...go forward with the plan?”

Nell’s gaze burned into the man in front of her, jaw set in a stubborn and angry line that spoke of a determination that made her willing to do nearly anything when it came to getting what she wanted in a situation such as this. A sound of utter disgust was pulled from her lips as the man proved useless, and she released him from her iron tight grip. Then she spoke to Remmy, though the words were for the benefit of the whole room, a foreboding tone filling their syllables, letting the air of a threat fill the promise. “We go forward with the plan. Maybe they’ll be a little more willing to talk by the end of it. Just something to jog their memory” A snap of her fingers had an animal hide appearing in her open hand, summoning a curse she’d prepared at home specifically for this situation— it would only need the finishing touches. As she unfurled it, a circle drawn in blood came into focus, runes of all sorts filling it in a careful pattern. It was about the size of a bearskin when laid across the floor, and with the utterance of a commanding word in Latin, the nails on the edges of the skin drove it into the wooden floor beneath them, securing it in place.

“Now it’s your turn,” Nell said with a sharp grin to the man closest to her, roughly shoving him into the center of the set up and into the circle. “Don’t be shy,” she sweetly commented to the other few men in the room. “Go ahead and join your friend.” They didn’t have much of a choice as the hellhounds herded them onto the animal skin, snapping their teeth. Then began her chanting, more Latin repeated in a cycle as she circled the men like prey, watching them with hungry eyes. The hounds mirrored her in a counter-clockwise motion, making sure to deter anyone that might have been thinking about making a break for it. Once they were huddled neatly in the center, Nell drew the rest of the nails from her pockets, and went over to the last man who had stepped into the circle. Without skipping a beat, she stuck the very tip of a nail into each of the man’s shoes before straightening. Then, without hesitating, her own foot came down on the man’s left foot— her strong and fluid motion driving the nail clean through the flesh and sinew, effectively nailing him to the floor. A gasp and grunt of pain was wrenched from him, but Nell paid it no mind as she went on to the second of his feet, repeating the process. Then it was on to the next man, and then the third— each one growing more fearful as she went, their agony etched into their faces. They couldn’t move without forcefully pulling their feet from the ground along with the nails that had been hammered into them. They were trapped, unable to escape. Just like all those innocents had been underneath the Ring. Just like she had been along with Remmy. She couldn’t deny the perverse pleasure she got in knowing how thoroughly the tables had been turned, that they were now the ones welling with an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. Finally, she got to the last man, and the first one she’d approached after entering the room. 

“I said I might reconsider by the end of this. So are you going to tell me what I want or not?” Nell offered him the chance to save himself from a similar fate the others had faced. For a moment the adam’s apple of his throat wobbled, as if he were weighing his options. “I don’t know where he is- I promise, I don’t. But I know- I do know…” He hesitated, and Nell grew impatient, lining the nails up along the tops of his shoes, foot poised above them. “I’m waiting.” That was all the incentive he needed to continue with his train of thought. “Roy’s undead! I’m not even supposed to know, but I heard it by accident! That’s something you can use, right?” he asked desperately, hoping the revelation had saved him. “Sure is,” was all Nell smugly said before jamming the nails through his feet, a wail warbling forth from him as she finished the job. Men like him didn’t deserve second chances. Not after all they’d done, not after all the hurt and harm they’d brought to the world. 

Remmy flinched with each nail that was driven into the men’s feet. This needed to be done, they told themself, this needed to happen. They knew this wasn’t going to end without someone suffering, but the pain the men experienced felt like nothing compared to the pain Remmy had felt in the ring. When the gargoyle had ripped them in half, when Jax had driven them to the brink of starvation, when Remmy’s own hands had ripped through Ben’s flesh. They felt a burning in their chest, their eyes, the back of their throat. A raw anger that they could taste. The smell of blood filling their head. Even if Remmy never wanted to hurt someone again, these men deserved this pain. They looked away as Nell drove the last nails in, clenching their jaw. They pushed their mind to focus on something else, wondering what Margot, someone outside of all of this, thought of what was happening. If she would still think of Remmy the same after they got out of this. 

Finally, Nell paused. Remmy looked over at her. “Undead,” they repeated quietly, “like me?” It was the only thing they could think of to say. Was the man who had done all of this just like them? Or was he a vampire? Or even something else? Were there other undead species Remmy didn’t know about yet? They swallowed the questions. “Undead means...he can still be stopped,” they said with a quiet realization to Nell. “It’s not over.”

If Remmy hadn’t been here, the men would probably already be dead by Nell’s hand and the teeth of her hounds. But she knew they hadn’t wanted more death involved in this, though she wasn’t sure whether or not she agreed with them. It was more complicated to know what the right choice was with every day that passed. What she knew at the most base level was someone couldn’t do any more harm if they were dead. It didn’t matter, though. She’d already made the decision to work with Remmy’s preferences. All that was left to the curse now was the finishing touch. Her own sacrifice. Pulling one of her knives from its hiding place, she dragged it smoothly, evenly along the mottled scarring of her forearm making a cut large enough to procure a good helping of her blood. Letting it fall onto the tops of the shoes of the men she’d just nailed to the floor, and once again moving in a circle, she spoke a final chant, focusing her mind into a thin line when it came to her goal, and what it was that these men would be carrying with them so long as they continued to live. When the Latin was done, she spoke it once more for those in the circle. Not for their own benefit, but because she wanted to see the blood drain from their faces as she told them the news. “You’ll never take an unwilling prisoner or fighter ever again. You’ll never cause harm to those that don’t deserve it. And you’ll never profit from another’s misery. Or there’ll be hell to pay.” As if she’d said their names specifically, the hellhounds growled their affirmation, adding their own promise to the end of her’s. 

Now it was done. The blood from Nell’s arm sank into the men’s boots, as if it were being sucked through the tops of them, marking them, following them wherever they’d go. Coming out of the near trance-like state of magic she’d been in, she turned back to Remmy, wrapping her arm in a bandage she’d summoned from home. “I don’t know if he’s like you. But you’re right.” Another satisfied grin spread over his lips. “It means he can die just like you or me. And then all this will be over.”

Margot heard screams, and chanting, and pain. The three together made her ears ring. What had she been pulled into? It sounded like some kind of satanic ritual, but that could just be the connection. Margot was sure that was it. Her modification to the ear pieces had malfunctioned somehow and she was experiencing some kind of feedback. “Hello?” Margot called out a few times, testing the connection. “Can you guys still hear me?”

Despite Margot’s assurances to herself that this was some kind of technical issue, the words “undead”, and “like me”, were unmistakably spoken by Remmy. Margot wasn’t privy to whatever they were talking about, and that was something she wouldn’t settle for. Still, she knew this wasn’t the time for an interrogation, at least not for her to conduct. “What’s happening? Is it done?”

The ritual made Remmy’s stomach churn, but it was a lot better than having to watch these men die. There was already too much death, even if these men deserved it, Remmy didn’t want anymore death. They didn’t want anyone else implicated in these deaths. The ring had taken enough from them, it would not take the part of them that wanted to do better as well. They would not give in. They looked away when Nell started chanting, backing into the corner, watching the door behind them to make sure no one else was coming, though they supposed Margot would warn them. They wondered if she could hear the chanting, if she understood what was going on. Nell had she didn’t know if Margot knew about the supernatural, but it seemed as if she didn’t care at the moment. That she didn’t mind implicating someone in this. No-- Remmy shook the thought away. Whatever happened, they would protect Margot, as thanks for doing this. They were pulling her into a dangerous world, but Remmy silently vowed they would make sure she was safe, protected. They could do that. They wanted to do that. 

Finally, Nell was done, wrapping her arm up and looking back over at Remmy. Margot’s voice chimed in on their ear pieces. “It’s done,” they said quietly to her, to Nell. “We’re done.” 

[nothing-ever-really-ends-does-it]

So, after taking some time to process, I think I’ve reached the conclusion that it’s not the worst ending possible.

Is it perfect ? No

Is it the best they could have come up with ? No

Do I love it and will forever hold it dear to my heart? Absolutely no.

Do I think it was a great idea killing Dean with a rusty piece of metal ? NO

Did it ruin Supernatural forever for me ? NO

Were the main problems easily fixed with some creative decisions being different? Yes

BUT

Do I hate it ? No, I don’t think I hate it. I mean I don’t like it 100% , and I would change a million things if I had any power to do so. But I don’t hate it anymore and it won’t make me hate the entirety of the show obviously.

I’ve been here since season 1, 2005, when I was probably too young to be allowed to watch it. I do believe that Sam and Dean Winchester are THE fundamental pieces of the show. I understand that they tried to go back to the roots of the show. I understand that they tried to play with symmetry here and take us back to simpler times where it was Sam and Dean against the world hunting normal monsters and I don’t think that’s wrong. I mean at the end of the day everything that happened happened because of them, around them and for them. But they could have honored them and also everyone else in their lives.

I actually think the episode was good until Dean’s dead, even then I think I could have forgive the decision of killing him with something so mundane because it would have cemented the idea that their lives could have been normal but there was always someone pulling the strings (Chuck), I would have still HATED the decision to have Dean killed less than a few months after defeating GOD and by a piece of rust 🤡 when he deserved so much more of life but I could have accepted it, and move on if they had made some changes in the time and the how.

It does hurt to know Dean is dead, but then, dead has never been the same for them, every single time one of them has died, they come back, they have literally fought Death and Dean has killed it twice. So Dean dying now hurts but not as much as it hurt in season 3. Dead does not feel bigger than them anymore, it is no longer this doom hanging over their heads as a threat. Like It feels different, these guys are legends, they have gone to heaven, hell, purgatory, AUs, the past, the future, etc dead feels kind of beneath them (?) and tbh I did expect them both to die by the end of the series. To me that move was a given.

I guess what bothers me the most is that SPN has always been a show about family, found family and blood family. Sam and Dean made their own family welcoming people into their lives and caring for them. It’s one of my favorite things about the show. When John comes back and tells Dean he is sorry he never got to have a family and Dean says that he has one, omg, YES I loved that. Because it is truth. Dean always wanted family, it is revealed so early in the show, that the thing that moves him is love and his sense of family, love for his mom, for his dad, for Sam, and later on for everyone else he gets to call family. It’s what makes him do great things and stupid things.

There’s a point where it stops being only about Sam and Dean, I still think they are the core and the heart of the show, but it’s not just them anymore. They keep adding so many people to their circle, and it’s a joy to watch their interactions with everyone else, for them to have nice and normal moments with people they care about like visiting Jody, or spending time with Charlie.

I think that maybe the biggest flaw of the finale, is the lack of more, more of the people that became their family too, more time of them being happy on earth. Or maybe it’s just me not accepting it ended.

If I had been showed Dean getting to meet all the people he lost, and being welcomed there by the family he made, I would have been at peace with the end, because in a way Dean would have gotten to be, to live free of burdens and violence, with no fear of losing more people he loved and just enjoying simple things. it would have made the ending more sweet than bitter.

I’m not even a hardcore Destiel shipper,I mean I LOVE them but I love that relationship being it platonic or romantic, I think their story it’s great and I would’ve been ok with whatever decision they made about them post declaration 15x18. I wouldn’t have cared if they kept it platonic or if they dared to do more. I just love them interacting in any scenario.

But the fact that CAS did not appear in any capacity ?! WTF, shipper or not there’s no denying the importance of their relationship for their character development and for almost every major event of the show since season 4. Unrequited love or not, however they wanted to play it, they value each other, they enjoy each other’s company and they consider themselves FAMILY. Other than Sam, Cas has been the only constant in Dean’s life, I was absolutely sure he would make an appearance I WAS SURE, and I kept waiting and it all ended and he never arrived. That felt like a punch because I have loved Castiel since he first appeared in Lazarus Rising.

That does not mean that my ONLY problem with the finale was the absence of Cas (it’s probably the main one but not the only), or the absence of Eileen (💔) , it does not mean I do not value the other nice moments, or the beauty of how death was like a new life in heaven. Jensen and Jared put their heart in their performances. I cried when Dean died and gave his last speech to Sam, it was everything Sam needed to hear even If he knew. i liked the concept of time being different on heaven and earth. I love the idea that everyone gets to be together now. And that Jack is making everything better thanks to all he learned from them. It really had very nice elements. Just poor execution.

At first watch, all the bad made it imposible for me to concentrate on the good. I was caught between being sad, wanting to try and make sense of out the finale and also being kind of dissapointed. But I guess that my conclusion is that, at the end for me it changes nothing, I”ll still love this show with all it’s missed opportunities and mistakes.

I know some changes had to be made because of Covid, i know they had probably planned to bring back a lot of characters, and it’s unfair to be mad IF it was out of their control and IF that was the reason Cas and Eileen did not return. I know a lot of things were left implied and open for interpretation, I know the actors and crew put their love in filming every episode. I know that. I do believe some things changed last minute.

But the TV industry big bosses do not care for things like this, what matters is money and timelines and contracts and I can see some of it affecting the production of the last episode. It still sucks, I’m still salty about it but I guess this is me letting go and letting it be.

[whateverthedragonswant]

More proof in the pudding for 15x20 breaking the fourth wall theory

I kind of already discussed this theory on this post here but in going over the last two seasons of GoT to add to this dark!Dany meta I’ve got going, I noticed something that I think is worth taking a look at.

GoT 8x06:

We all remember what happens after this weighted ominous walk of Jon’s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XhfGY5pIPg&t=254s

“When I was a girl, my brother told me it was made from a thousand swords of Aegon’s fallen enemies. What do a thousand swords look like in the mind of a little girl who can’t count twenty? I imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb. So many fallen enemies, you could only see the soles of Aegon’s feet.” “This is our reason. It has been from the beginning since you were a little boy with a bastard’s name and I was a little girl who couldn’t count to twenty.” “You are my queen, now and always.” -- this is dialogue meant to call back to the Dany the audience has known since season 1 - this was done in an effort to keep her character sympathetic to the end but it’s problematic since she just torched an entire city that held a million innocent people, and it completely negates the true moral of her story - her brother is mentioned who we haven’t seen since season 1, who by all means is not a good influence or a hero in this story but in this last season, she has started to embrace the Targaryen side of things (that we’ve seen reflected in her wardrobe, I see you Michele Clapton, you brilliant woman, you) - the dialogue even invokes season 1 Jon in that one line, though obviously the focus is not on Jon but Dany herself - Jon who had just been acting as the audience mouthpiece in the jail scene with Tyrion (acting as the writers’ mouthpiece - again breaking the 4th wall), saying “You are my queen, now and always”, something the split audience (the ones who felt betrayed by Dany’s dark turn and still stan her to this day) keep saying - yes “now and always” was a common saying in the North, but this wording is purposeful as is this piece of dialogue for essentially what is Dany’s death scene, the most controversial death to come out of this episode, the end of this series I would even argue

15x20:

We all remember Dean’s monologue that took close to 10 mins to happen as he was “fading pretty quick”, so much so that Sam couldn’t call for help

“There’s a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. Do you know that? I’ve always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart, you never took any of Dad’s crap. I never knew how you did that. And you’re stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you that night that, uh, that I came for you when you were at school? You know when Dad hadn’t come back from his hunting trip? The woman in white, that’s right. I must’ve stood outside your dorm for hours because I didn’t know what you would say. I thought you’d tell me to get lost or get dead and I didn’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you. ‘Cause I was so scared. I was scared. ‘Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me.” “I can’t do this alone.” “Yes, you can.” “Well, I don’t want to.” “I love you so much. My baby brother.” -- notice anything...familiar? -- this is dialogue meant to call back to season 1, to the original audience that started out with the brothers in season 1, that may not have stuck with the show for all 15 seasons but maybe ducked back in for the finale just to see how the show chose to end the boys’ stories - John is mentioned who is not a good influence nor a hero in the story which the show has gone out of their way to show time and time again, despite 14x13 - this is the result of one of their dad’s old unfinished hunts from season 1 including the “villain” - Dean mentions events of the first episode when John hasn’t come back from an old hunt, when he goes to get Sam from school, the woman in white being their very first MOTW of the show, even the dialogue from that first episode where the lines are reversed and Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to do it alone - the dialogue is meant to invoke nostalgia of that pilot and that time, that version of the boys’ stories, where it was Winchester only - Dean’s death (outside of Cas’) is one of the most controversial deaths to happen this episode, even this series (though it has a lot of problematic deaths, i.e. Charlie but I mean in the main character arena) - this was done to keep season 1, specifically the pilot, in the viewers’ minds and as a callback to the beginning of the show, the dialogue was very purposeful, it’s also no coincidence that Sam is the focus here and once Dean is finished telling him goodbye essentially, he looks away behind the camera and talks about how he didn’t think today was going to be the day but it is (which adds to the pudding even more, because this is later season Dean talking who did not want to die on a hunt and wanted something different for himself, season 1 Dean always knew he would die young on a hunt) 

And let us not forget this:

Andrew Dabb: “If you thought Game of Thrones was bad, just wait” (x) - this is said in a joking manner but where is it said? Comic Con 2019, the same Comic Con D&D canceled their appearances at & left the cast who did appear to deal with the fallout. This isn’t a man flipping off people and being like “Ha! Crybabies, we’re doing what we want to do and that’s that! Ha!” He said it in a joking manner when he talked about how only 30% of people would be pleased after seeing the finale and Jared joined the conversation. This is the same man who pushed hard along with Bobo Berens for a spinoff that featured women and women of color as well as having proper queer representation but got shut down by the network in the end. The same guy who worked to separate Dean and Sam from their toxic co-dependency and bolstered the found family theme in the narrative, while also taking the baton that Carver started with of Dean and Sam thinking of what they would actually want for their endings, and running with it, developing that even further. 

What did GoT have? 2 final seasons as it were. To be fair, season 7 cannot be considered an alternate ending, it had way too many open endings but here (x) it’s stated that D&D did want to end GoT with season 7 initially before being convinced by the network to go to 8. They wanted to move onto other projects (that never happened because they’re egotistical greedy idiots, but I digress)  and their rush to end the series showed. HBO wanted 10 seasons but they didn’t want to move forward without D&D. GRRM thought at least 13 seasons would be appropriate. 

What did SPN have? 2 finales. 15x19 is not only the finale that closes up the mytharc but also the found family finale. I’m not sure if they knew this ahead of time or found out last second (Misha’s line of “Cas’ ending was supposed to be different but I don’t think we’re supposed to talk about that” still haunts me), but ultimately, that’s how it worked out. 15x19 was for the later season fans, the found family, the mythology fans (meaning Heaven, Hell, angels, nephilim, Lucifer, Jack, etc). That’s why we get the huge montage of characters at the end of the episode, the initials on the table, Dean demanding Cas be brought back in the beginning of the episode and Lucifer’s phone call, Dean and Sam wanting Jack to come back to the bunker but he can’t, Dean and Sam driving off in Baby together with “Running On Empty” playing. 15x20 was the series finale for early season fans, Kripke fans, Winchester-only fans. That’s why there’s no big montage in the beginning of the SERIES FINALE that they had done every season premiere, every season finale, and every mid-season premiere. They didn’t want the found family (yes, including Cas and Jack) in the viewers’ minds. But they couldn’t remove those two characters from the narrative completely (they were too integral later on in the series plus later season fans are watching this too) so they get mentions. This is why the Carry On My Wayward Son twice, Sam married to Blurry Wife and having Dean Jr., the Winchester-only mantle, the MOTW that calls back to one of their big bads (vampires) in season 1 (outside of YED & any demonic forces), why the brothers-only ending. This is why Dean is all ‘Cas who?’, why Eileen disappeared, and why Jack is off shooting a new spot for Architectural Digest. They only wanted Sam and Dean on your minds in 15x20 with the extension of John, Mary, Rufus, Bobby, and Baby with a touch of the Roadhouse in the background. This is also why no pictures of Blurry Wife on the Winchester-only mantle either. This is why Sam’s son was named Dean. This is why after putting on the Party City wig, Sam goes to sit in Baby and cries, thinking of Dean.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: 15x20.👏 Was.👏 A.👏 Vehicle. It’s no coincidence that W*lker was more heavily promoted during 15x20 than any other time before. That what happens in 15x20 for Sam and Dean (and that Sam is once again the focus after having the story split between the brothers for years before) parallels somewhat to what happens in Jared’s new show and his character. This is the same network that uses its shows to backdoor pilots of spinoffs and other shows time and time again (think Green Arrow and The Canaries, Legacies, etc). It’s also no coincidence that W*lker is in the same time slot as SPN had been in, that they intersperse the use of #SPNFamily and #W*lkerFamily on Twitter, that the C*W SPN twitter account is used to steer followers to their other content, that the C*W YouTube account for SPN no longer has any clips or promos available for that show, almost as if it doesn’t exist. You know why? Simple, they don’t want SPN on your minds anymore. They want you watching W*lker and any other new content they are cooking up and throwing at you. Don’t be surprised if they start heavily promoting another new show (besides their returning ones) during W*lker episodes now. That’s just the name of the game, how it works. They already pushed the audience they wanted from 15x20 to W*lker and now SPN is an officially closed chapter for them. Dabb and the actors had other projects to move onto. In their minds, it’s done...until they try to reboot it in some way in a couple of years. And it will not only feature a younger generation of actors but will have what they consider to be appropriate queer representation as well as POC representation in the new cast. It may be the same Winchester story though changed or a whole new story in that universe. You laugh but watch. It’ll happen. This network is not known for its quality or originality, only for their brand. There’s a reason they keep on showrunners to head up new content if their original source of content works and they become “favorites” (i.e Julie Plec).

Ultimately, GoT was referenced many times on SPN, in dialogue between characters whether it applied or not. GoT was mentioned by the actors when discussing watching it, at cons and in interviews. SPN (and Dabb) was very well aware of GoT and what happened with that show. Not only because it was all over the media everywhere, being a pop culture phenomenon that had HUGE backlash, but also because they were there at the Comic Con where the backlash was felt strongest. To the point where even other people mentioned it in their panels (i.e. Seth Rogen). I’m obviously not in Dabb’s head nor was I on set when they filmed the finale or in the writers’ room with J2 and the writers when they pitched the ending so I don’t know. But isn’t it odd that 8x06 of GoT features a scene that has been confirmed by Kit Harington as breaking the 4th wall to speak to/get the viewers’ attention, make them think, and SPN is a show that has featured that same concept (usually in a comedic fashion) time and time again? And in 15x20 they have Robert Singer make an appearance? And the infamous bridge crew shot, J2 talking to you while still in costume as Sam and Dean from that same shot, and the voiceover “And cut” before it cuts to black? 

I don’t think we’ll ever really get answers. I think any we get will always be complimentary to the network, or “we can’t talk about it”, or “it was always planned that way”. I’m not saying those people are being less than truthful (and seriously, I don’t blame any of them, it’s PR and they need to protect their careers, feed their families, if you speak out on anything in this universe, something really serious or the tiniest thing, you risk ever getting hired again, you will be blacklisted, it’s not right and it’s certainly not fair, but this is the way this particular business works) but something is not adding up (a lot of somethings actually). I think there was definitely a different ending for Cas, possibly even Jack (meaning he might have made at least one appearance). I do think there may have been a different resolution to Destiel and Saileen (unless they truly planned to keep it ambiguous all along). I don’t know if Dean would have had a different ending, I think he might have at one point as suggested by the narrative during Carver’s and Dabb’s eras, but I’m not sure what their “true ending” was going to be regarding him or Sam. To have Sam be the one that died would have been redundant from Swan Song (5x22) so I doubt they would have gone in that direction. I hate to think it but I don’t think we’ll ever really know. As far as death scenes go, Dean’s death in 9x23 was way more meaningful and impactful for me when he tells Sam that he’s proud of them, than what we got in 15x20. No offense to the guys’ acting or to the boys themselves, but the 9x23 scene was more appropriate imho. And that also leads me to believe that Dean’s manner of death may not have been what they planned all along. But until we get answers (which again I don’t think we will), we’ll never truly know for sure.

As for me, this is just more proof in the pudding. I’m not saying Dabb & Co purposely sabotaged 15x20 at all but I wouldn’t be surprised if they kept the reaction to GoT’s finale in mind at a couple of key points while getting these last two episodes shot. 15x19 was our finale, sad to say. 15x20 was the network’s finale, meant to induce nostalgia and callbacks, bringing the boys’ original fans over to Texas to watch a certain ranger do roundhouse kicks. Sad but true. 

[tomishaped]

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural

Relationship:

Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton

Characters:

Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain

Additional Tags:

Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.

Previous Chapters

• Chapter One •

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Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave

Part One

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When they had reached the car Dean made quick work of the door locks and got them both inside before he punched it, only leaving squealing tires and smoke behind them as they took off. Dean didn’t start to relax till they were a mile or so away from the group of demons, still keeping an eye on the mirrors though just in case. “You really pissed someone off," he said with a grin as he glanced over at the other while he drove.

Izzy did manage to force himself to relax once they were in the car, though Dean still happened to look tense with the way he was looking out his mirrors for someone. Honestly, it probably helped the demon to relax with the fact that Izrael couldn't feel Dagon as close anymore. She was either losing interest or losing track of them for now, either way that worked for him. "Huh?" He was honestly confused at first when Dean said that, "Why would you think I pissed some- oh! Because of all that? Right. Yeah. They don't seem to fond of me, do they? I should probably stop crashing into their parties like that." 

Izrael shifted in the seat a little and rolled his eyes when he saw the man look out his mirrors again, "You can stop doing that now. We're fine, mommy lost us," he said with a shrug, leaning back in the seat again, trying to get comfortable. He was ready to get out of the Winchesters car now, and he would really like to do it without having to kill the hunter next to him in order to keep him from following or trying to track him. Even if he didn't have an issue with killing humans, he didn't know which way Dean's soul would go now and having it back in the pit after he killed him could possibly become… problematic. "So uh, yeah, you can just drop me off whenever now and can go get back too… whatever the hell you were doing before joining me at that lovely party tonight. I'm actually supposed to be at a different party right now anyways, so anywhere is good."

Dean snickered when the other said that they had crashed a few parties, it made sense. He did raise an eyebrow when he was told that the horde had backed off of them. Granted he hadn’t noticed any one but still, he never trusted demons to give up. “To be honest, I was out looking for a good time… guess I found it,” he said with a wicked grin, still feeling a bit of an adrenaline high from the fight and sprint to the car. “Rest of my evening is open if you want some back up,” he offered the blond. “Not saying you can’t handle yourself, I saw your moves back there but… twenty to one is a bit much,”  he said while giving him a bit of a doubtful side look. 

This is what Dean thought of as a good time? The human was either suicidal or crazy. Sure, Izzy did have fun doing shit like this too, but he was a demon- he was fucking crazy. "Mmm, yeah… it was a bit much till you showed up. Definitely would have ended up losing this jacket," Izrael laughed a little at Dean and shook his head, "See, I haven't gone and learned my lesson yet it seems since I'm definitely gonna be crashing one of their parties again. Gotta find it first though, and I can't do that in a strangers car."

Dean raised an eyebrow when the blond mentioned that they weren’t done yet and was looking to start a similar party to where he just found them. Ok sure he had been doing stupid stuff since he got back but he had an excuse. He was trying to repress what felt like forty years of Hell - literal Hell. So what was this kid's excuse? She might be crazy, but her crazy was also kinda hot and hunters like this don’t tend to stick in one place long because of the next big hunt. Besides, too often if they stayed in one place for long then all the enemies they made along the way had a tendency to catch up to them. “I can drop you off wherever your next party is so you don’t get jumped on the way again…” Dean trailed off a little as he drove, “could at least tell me your name before you get yourself killed.”

Izrael smiled at the hunter. "Why would I give someone I've never met in this life my name? Doesn't sound too smart. Besides, I don't see you passing over that information either."

Dean grinned. “Sorry, thought you picked it up before things got hairy. Names Dean, Dean Winchester," he said as he held a hand out to shake as he drove, glancing at the blond but mostly keeping his eyes on the road. “You know demons can’t keep their big mouths shut, if your next party is anything like that one, they’re going to be ready for you and you’re going to lose more than your jacket, sweetheart," he said in a matter of fact tone. “Might be a better idea to show up with back up and armed to the teeth,” he offered with a mischievous grin. “Lucky for you I know the perfect place.”

His excuse? His absolute only memories were of hell. Turning into a demon the way he had had wiped out all his human memories and the little demon only knew the last sixty years he had spent in hell training to do just this. He wasn't trying to repress hell, why repress when it was all he knew? He was just doing what Asmodues sent him off to do, and with the youngest prince of hell being the closest person to the blond and having nothing else to really do… he listened. He enjoyed killing other demons, it was a task he found fun. But when your job is to kill any demon that stands against the man you're working for, you don't exactly make any friends. And being alone only gave him more time to hunt down Asmodues's enemies. It was a vicious never ending cycle that wasn't going to change anytime soon as far as Izrael could tell. Hell either hated him, feared him, or admired him from afar - very afar. No one was brave enough to chance getting on Izzy's bad side. And those that were like the hoard tonight that actually tried to kill him were just too stupid to stay away and deserved to die anyways as far as he was concerned. 

Of course he knew who Dean was once he heard his name. But the hunter didn't need to know that Izrael had heard of him. He eyed the other’s hand for a moment before he sighed and half gave in to the man, though didn't reach his own hand out, "Izzy Hilton," he said, using the name that Asmodues had given him for when he had to pretend to be human. Though he had no idea that it actually was his name. That Asmodues called him Izrael to see if any of the once nineteen year old’s memories would spark with little clues like that. It never did. "They're always on the lookout for me… wouldn't be anything new…" he said with a little shrug, getting the gut feeling that this hunter was not about to let him go off on his own anytime soon. The last thing the little demon needed was to do spend time with a fucking Wincester, especially the one that spent all that time in hell. "No offense, but I don't really work with others. Thanks for the help back there and everything, but you're Dean Winchester… so you and I working together is a bad idea. Trust me."

With both hands back on the wheel, Dean snorted when Izzy said that demons watching out was nothing new. He understood that, that's what made the Bunker so beautiful. It was the definition of a safe house for spooky shit and basically everything else. He sucked some air between his teeth when it seemed the other knew who he was by name, having heard some of the stuff hunters thought of him while he was putting in time at the Roadhouse. “Fair, I mean we did just meet and I also just saved your ass from a fucking gaggle of demons, but okay,” he said, half joking. “We don’t know each other, and inviting you to my secret Men of Letters bunker can seem a little Silence of the Lambs but I promise, imma damn puppy dog compared to your normal party guests,” he said,.  Ane yes, he did just name drop the Men of Letters to see if that helped his case. Dean wasn’t a creep and if Izzy wanted out he’d drop them off wherever they wanted but all horn-dog habits aside, he wouldn’t rest well if he did. He’d probably end up asking around and looking into this pretty Izzy Hilton to see what her story was about. “Again, I know bunker can be off putting, but this place is huge, over twenty bedrooms to pick from. It’s armed to the teeth so nothing is getting in. I have one of the few keys to get in but you can get out whenever you like,” he added, trying to seem a little less kidnappy and rapey. “That and there's a hundred year old whiskey collection.”

Izzy had absolutely zero ideas of what other hunters thought of the man he was currently sitting next too. Up until now, he had done a really good job at avoiding them in his travels and work. Sure, to be on the safe side he did do some research on hunters who seemed to be the biggest threats but until now he hadn't actually met any of them. So, right now he couldn't figure out if it was just bad fucking luck that Dean Winchester happened to walk in on his ambush, or some weird good luck to get him out of it unharmed. Even after over fifty years as a demon, almost sixty now maybe? He honestly had never actually hurt a human. So did he deserve this kind of bad luck? On the other hand though, can demons actually have good luck? It was really confusing. 

Fact was, Izzy only knew of Dean Winchester from the mouths of other demons. His research on hunters in general was by word of mouth in hell. It wasn't like there were any books he could read on them. So he knew the man was obviously a good hunter, and not just when it came to demons. He knew the idiot sold his soul to save that dumbass brother of his that was hanging around one of the main demons on his own hit list. It was just really hard to get to the bitch when she was being protected by the hunter drinking demon blood. He only knew that from actually running across her once, he could fucking smell the demon blood radiating from the human she was with and it didn't take long to figure out who that human was and what fucking Ruby was doing with him. Little Sammy Winchester. Lovely. He also knew the man next to him spent what was like forty years in hell, being tortured for most of them by fucking Alastair. It had come as a surprise when he heard that there was some sort of angel watching out for him. Well, the angel part wasn't really known when he figured it out. It was just known that the man was pulled out of hell and Izrael knew that an Angel was the only way the man could have escaped hell and returned to his body the way he had. And really, he would prefer to avoid angels. Most demons weren't really that much of a threat to him. They could likely hurt him but Izzy was not easy to actually kill. Not that they had quite figured that out yet. But he had no idea what an angel might be able to do to him. 

Izrael couldn't remember his own torture. He actually had no idea it even happened. Ever since the day Asmodues found his newly turned demon in that cage he kept his pet in, the youngest prince acted as though that was the first day of Izzy's life. He didn't even know that he was in that cage because of that man in the first place. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean, even though I'm pretty damn sure you're no puppy dog," Izzy told him with a little roll of his eyes, the man who had spent his last few years in hell torturing other souls was far from a puppy. But he had caught Izzy's attention mentioning the Men of Letters. He vaguely remembered Asmodues mentioning them decades ago. Something about them being all dead now… about them holding knowledge no one else had. Going to this bunker… could prove useful if the knowledge thing was true.

Izzy finally looked over at Dean again, tucking hair behind his ears, "Well whiskey is always a very good and tempting offer," he said, chewing on his lip a little as he thought it over. "If you're all armed like you say you are… Do you also have books and shit? Like, books on demons and shit." Izzy knew he had been turned differently than almost every other demon that existed, he had to have been to have his own body and no ability whatsoever to jump from one meatsuit to the next, but he had no idea what happened to make him this way. And no book he had found since being set loose on the world had been able to give him the answer he was looking for. If this bunker had hidden knowledge it might be his best bet to find out how he turned, because Asmodues wasn't telling him anytime soon. "And I really wouldn't have to just stay if I don't want to. I can just walk out? Seriously?"

Dean just grinned when the other said he was pretty sure he wasn’t a puppy, calling him out like that. And he believed them when they said that they weren’t scared of him, he did find her in the middle of a demon infested alleyway in the middle of the night. His grin grew when Izzy seemed to be mulling the thought over. He raised an eyebrow and chanced a longer glance at the other when he was asked about books. That he hadn’t been expecting, didn’t peg her for a book type. There might be something they were looking for specifically that the old bats had locked away. He would definitely be doing an inventory check but hey it sounded like they were coming around to the idea. A new face and alone time might do him some good, even if they don't get handsy and this Izzy turned out to be a gigantic book worm. 

“Like I said you need a magic key to get in but getting out isn’t a problem, locks behind you but I gotta warn you the cell service sucks,” he said with a smile. He altered his route and started out of town and toward the bunker. The long ride was pretty much silent after that, Dean was honestly a bit too nervous to say something and have the blond change her mind about coming. He couldn't help wanting to help her, wanting to figure her out at least a little. From wanting to protect the little thing and knowing that he would just worry about them at this point. “Just don’t take anything, alright? Not really supposed to take people to the BatCave but…” he trailed off with a shrug after he parked by the bunker, obviously making an exception for the blond right now. 

Izzy shrugged when he mentioned cell service, that meant pretty much nothing to him. Of course he knew what a cell phone was, he had been in this world long enough. But he never felt the need to get one. Who the hell was he gonna call? "No big deal, no cell phone. I was serious, I've never worked with someone else before. Never felt the need to get one," he shrugged, as little like it was normal or something to not have a cell this day and age. He honestly didn't actually know either way though. "And I don't plan on taking anything. I've got my own weapons and shit. Just… looking for a little info is all. If you happen to have a book with what I want to know, well, then I won't really need it anymore once I read it." He ignored the Bat Cave comment for the moment, not wanting to let the hunter next to him realize he actually understood the reference. He especially didn't want him to know he found it amusing.

Dean decided to leave Baby in a little hidden knook they made for when they didn’t plan on staying long and putting her in the very nice garage. He just grinned as they walked up to the old green doors after grabbing a bag from the trunk and he pulled it open for the other. Once past the first threshold Dean unlocked the second doors and stepped through, holding it open for the other. “This is the legacy of the Men of Letters, a bit old and dusty but we’re still fixing the place up.” he said as they made their way down the spirling, metal staircase. He walked past the light up map table and tossed his bag on the first long table in the library. “Wanna tour?” he asked as he turned to the other, smiling at them.

He just wanted a fucking book that explained how humans became demons. Without their souls spending hundreds of years tortured in hell. Asmodues had no choice but to tell him that he turned differently than everyone else when he realized he couldn't just jump from meat suit to meat suit like everyone else could. His soul never left his body, something in him changed while he was still a human. But that was all Asmodues would say on the subject. Honestly it was the one thing about the man who called himself Izzy's master that drove him absolutely insane. He didn't care so much about whatever his human life was since he couldn't miss what he didn't remember or had any sort of idea what it might have been like, but he did want to know why he turned into a demon. Was he evil in his previous life? Is that how it worked? He remembered someone once saying that he must have cracked to change the way he did, but cracked from what and how? He just wanted to know how the fuck he came into existence. What made him so different from other demons. Why even Dagon, who knew that Izzy couldn't kill her without that oh so special gun, feared him to some extent. And nothing he had found so far explained any of that shit. Was he a bookworm? Mmm, debatable. Ask any demon who knew him they'd say no,, but Izzy was really good at keeping things about himself pretty damn secret. The less people knew the less they had on you and the safer you were. But the truth was that he did love books, loved to read and learn. And now that he wasn't under Asmodues' thumb at all times and had a mission to carry out, he was able to use research for said mission as an excuse to read. Sure, he was actually doing research but for so much more than anyone actually knew. 

Izzy was a bit unsure following Dean into the bunker when they got there. This could be a really, really stupid idea. But on the other hand… he was going to have info on the Winchester's no one else could possibly dream of having and he might get a few other answers out of this as well so he followed along. He looked around as Dean led him through the place, tilting his head and letting a confused little look cross his face as he tilted his head back to see the ceiling, "Uh, sure, if you want. So, do you keep the bats in some special room or something? I kinda just pictured them all over the place."

Her not havung a phone probably should have set off more red fags then it did because even if you were a loner it was useful to have one since pay phones were all but extinct. He tilted his own head when Izzy had mentioned bats, that had been a reaction he might have expected from Cas but really? “It’s not really a batca-... never mind. This is our fortress,” he said, just trying to get past what he felt was a painful moment. He turned on his heel and held up his arms out on either side as he gestured to the books. “This is the library. Nothing says stuffy bookworms like having a library right at the front door right?” He said with a laugh, turning completely to face the other as he walked around one of the tables. 

If Izrael actually cared much about completely blending in when he was going by Izzy he probably would have gotten a cell phone. But truth be told, he didn't actually care what humans thought about him and despite Asmodues having insisted he play the part on earth he could probably count on one hand how many times he had ever used the name Izzy before. Since he usually avoided hunters he rarely ever felt the need too. So really… What was the point of carrying around a little electronic box used to call people? The only person who would ever actually want to get ahold of him had his own ways of doing so. But even Asmodues left Izzy to himself for the most part nowadays as long as he kept doing what he was told and continued to work his damnedest to keep Lucifer in his box. Though if he had realized how odd it actually was to not have one, he wouldn't have mentioned it. 

Of course it wasn't actually a Bat Cave. It almost annoyed him that the hunter found it so easy to believe that the batman reference really meant nothing to the blond. Sure, part of him was glad too because he didn't want the fact that he enjoyed those comics to be known by anyone, but still… how stupid did this hunter think he really was if he believed that Izzy? He was pretty sure that Batman was popular among humans. It was the Winchester thinking he was dumb that bothered him more than anything though, because that was just not true. Izzy had always been rather smart, even before he turned, he had a near photographic memory. But with all memories of humanity gone, and those memories being from close to sixty years before anyways, all that was left was hell and the supernatural. And he figured that shit out quickly, easily. Humans, not so much. Humanity and what they were like and what they did like were never on his list of things he needed to learn about. Humans weren't his targets. "No offense, but you don't exactly strike me as the bookworm type," he said, moving around the table to go and look at the spines of the books, fingers running lightly over them. Yeah, this would definitely be his best bet at finding answers. Some of these were obviously old as fuck. "The kill first and ask questions later type. Though I suppose since all you hunters go after everything supernatural, you need the lore books, huh?" He personally didn't bother with any other supernatural beings, just the demons on Lucifer and Dagon's side. Which was probably a good thing for them, if this little demon were to ever start working as a real hunter with someone like Dean… they wouldn't stand a chance. As they had proved earlier… the two of them working on the same side had some pretty nasty consequences for those fighting against them. 

Dean chuckled when Izzy said he didn’t seem like the book worm type, oh hell no that was Sammy’s department. “Yeah no, that's more my brother's thing,” he said as he walked over to the opposite wall, towards the small table with a few bottles filled clear, brown liquid and a few glasses. “I at least wait long enough to see what I'm fighting so I know how to kill it.” Dean poured them a few glasses and headed to the closest main table to the blond. He leaned against it on his hip and took a sip from his glass while he held out the other to Izzy. The other’s wording did strike him as odd though and he raised an eyebrow a little. The way he said it was just off, but Dean wanted to think Izzy was just into demons, and therefore could know some pretty useful stuff. That or maybe he was really green and thought of himself being different from regular hunters. His gut was telling him something was still off though, but he wasn’t sure what.

Izzy was glad his back was to the hunter when he mentioned his brother so he didn't see the little demon roll his eyes and scowl at the mention of that junkie who was seriously getting in his way with that bitch he was attached to. He was pretending he didn't really know much about them… which wasn't a complete lie, but he had a serious suspicion he knew something about the younger Winchester that Dean didn't. He might know about the demon bitch Sam hung out with but he highly doubted this man knew about the blood and psychic shit that boy was playing with. The psychic shit was honestly the main reason he hadn't gone after Ruby yet, he wasn't like other demons, he had no idea how Sam's little exercising shit would affect him. 

“You know, you never mentioned what you were looking into. I’m guessing something demon related,” he mentioned to the other. There wasn’t much small talk on the car ride over.

He didn't say anything for a bit while Dean spoke and walked around the room, more interested in looking through the shelves of books for anything that looked promising. But he never let his guard down really, constantly aware of where Dean was around him or how close he was. He stiffened a bit when he felt Dean closer again and he asked that direct question. Izzy didn't really want to answer anything he was asked, but avoiding taking to him too much might just seem more suspicious. Fuck. He really should have paid more attention to the humans around him the last decade, he was really bad at trying to be one. "Yeah, demon related," Izzy finally said as he turned around and saw Dean holding out the whiskey he had promised. Alcohol didn't really affect him as much as it did humans unless he drank an ungodly amount so he wasn't worried about drinking at least. 

He took the glass offered to him and leaned against the bookshelf behind him, shrugging his shoulder a little, "Don't know if you picked up on it during that whole ambush shit, but I kinda hunt demons. Apparently I'm pretty good at it since they don't seem to like me much at all." He took a drink from the whiskey he was given, relishing in the burn that goes down his throat. As a demon, the little blond didn't need to eat. The few times he did were few and far between and it was always for some reason he couldn't figure out, but knew he just wanted whatever the hell it was that he was trying. But he did like to drink. Alcohol that is. He liked the burn. 

"Just curious what kind of people become demons and how. Always good for a guy to know everything he can about his enemies and all, yanno?" It wasn't a lie. He had actually been avoiding actually lying to the hunter. Izzy didn't like to lie, it was too hard to remember the fake information he had given to who. So the only thing he had lied about was his name, but that wasn't that big of a lie as Izzy did sound like a nickname for Izrael. Mostly, he was just leaving out details he didn't think Dean needed to know. Like the fact he was a demon and really just wanted to know how he, himself, had turned. How demons like him were made. Because as far as the books he had found about demons elsewhere knew, Cain was the only other person to become a demon this way. And almost nothing was fucking known about that man. As a matter of fact, he was the one demon who no matter how hard he tried Izzy could not fucking find. Not that he had really looked into how to find him. He didn't want to kill Cain like he did with everyone else he hunted down, he wanted answers. But even so, he knew Cain wasn't exactly like him and probably didn't have the answers he wanted. So that had just been another fucking dead end. The little blond didn't do a whole lot of shit that he actually wanted to do or something anyways, ninety percent of his time was spent following Asmodues' orders to hunt down Dagon's followers and make sure Lucifer didn't get out of that cage. 

Dean nodded a little when the other confirmed that it was demon related, easy guess. “You don’t pick up that kind of attention without being a major pain in their ass,” he said with a snicker. The man's shoulders stiffened when he took another drink when Izzy said what he was looking into. What kind of people become demons. He forced back a smile and shifted a little as he tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not let it run off with the flashbacks and nightmares he has. It felt like every time he blinked he was hit with a flash of something he’d seen or had done. He told everyone he didn't’ remember any of it and refused to talk about it and self medicated with liquor like any good hunter.

Well duh, obviously he was a pain in their asses. Two dozen of them had actually gotten together without someone in power telling them what to do to try and take him out. They failed, miserably thanks to the hunter near him right now, but it didn't negate the fact that Izzy was a huge threat to them and their plans. Really though, if the whole fucking lot of them just fucking stopped trying to set Lucifer free Izzy would have no problem leaving them alone. But until that happened…. He had a job to do. What the hell would he do with himself if Asmodeus actually managed to take the crown and this mission was over? He'd actually never thought about that before. Every single memory he had had something to do with him having to keep Lucifer in the cage. 

“Well demons are mostly twisted and tortured souls. You get twisted up so much down there you turn into something else,” he said, rubbing at his brow as he fidgeted a little as he spoke. “At the end of the day they're a spirit, just nastier. You don’t normally catch one running around before they possess someone but the same tricks apply, salt and iron,” he told him, running off a few things off the top of his head, mostly from first hand experience. “I’m sure you know all about devils traps and all that,” he said, waving his hand and finally looking over at the other. It was probably a good thing Dean had been so caught up with that Izzy was looking into that he completely missed the suspicious pronoun.

Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Dean when the man just told him shit he already knew. Was he actually under the impression that someone he thought was a legit demon hunter didn't know that shit already? Also. He was wrong. While holy water did have the same effect on him that it did to most demons, salt and iron actually didn't bother him for some reason. Every single voice in his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut for a while, to not get sucked into this conversation. But the thing was… he actually wanted to talk about this shit. He never talked with anyone about shit he actually wanted too. Demons avoided him unless they were trying to kill him, he avoided humans and hunters, and Asmodues pretty much just told him what to do. The little demon didn't actually have any memories of just talking with someone about something he was interested in. And this happened to be the biggest fucking intrest he really had right now.

"See, right there just proves you really have no fucking clue what you're actually dealing with, do you? Obviously being tortured in hell is going to fuck up any soul in some way, but not every soul in hell becomes a demon. This world would be fucked if they did. There are millions and millions of souls in hell." He only just stopped himself from pointing out that despite Dean's own torture and escapades with Alastair he didn't actually turn into a demon. No, a fucking angel actually came and pulled him from the pit. So what the hell was it that made some souls twist the same way he had even though he hadn't gone through that die and be tortured shit and made others just… well, be tortured for all eternity. Or torture as was the case with some. "Yeah, most of them are just nastier twisted spirits, and you don't normally see one walking around without someone else's meat suit… but they can. It's apparently super fucking rare for it to happen, but a human can just wake up a demon somehow. In their own skin and everything. So I want to know what makes the souls that twist that way different from those that don't. What kind of person they must have been. And what happens to those people who turn? How does that happen? But unfortunately, because it's so fucking rare, I haven't been able to find a single book in the last ten years that actually explains that shit." He sighed a little in frustration at the thought before just shaking his head and finishing the rest of his own drink before he turned his back to Dean again to start looking through the books again, waving his own hand in dismissal of the subject. Dean wasn't going to have the answers he wanted obviously. "But yes, of course I know all about devils traps. I just don't use them." He couldn't if he wanted too, not unless he wanted to get stuck inside one himself. Besides, even if he could… with the way he hunted, it would be pretty damn useless and time consuming to try since it was usually a sneak attack/ambush of his own on their own grounds. Wasting time with a devils trap when it was just so much easier to kill them just seemed stupid. "Do you have any sort of order with these books or am I gonna have to look through all of them to find the ones about demons?"

Dean was a little taken back when Izzy said that he had no clue about demons. He felt anger rise up in his belly and his face tightened some. His pride didn’t like that but the built up emotion subsided the more Izzy spoke. He did have a point, if that’s all it took then Hell would be nothing but demons. He never really focused on the fine details, he just killed them. His face became a mix of surprises and doubt when Izzy kept going and told him about the type of demons that keep their bodies. What the hell? He’d never heard of something like that before, what the hell could it be capable of? It was a worrying thought. “This keeps getting better and better,” Dean muttered under his breath. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about his younger brother on his road trip with his little demon buddy. What if that was Ruby's plan, twist his brother into one of them? He’d fucking gank that bitch before she could try. He wanted to call and check up but that hadn’t gone so well last time. 

He made a small face when Izzy asked about an order to the crazy amount of information. He finished his half glass of whiskey and pushed off of the table, setting the glass down before walking away. “I have a feeling what we’re looking for isn’t in here, come on,” He said, motioning the other to follow him with a head nod. He led the blond down the hall a bit, through another doorway and down some stairs. He pushed one of the two heavy doors open and held it open for the other hunter. “When we started going through the stuff that was left here we found that most of the heavy reading books are in here,” He told him. The room was about 25 by 25 feet, metal shelving lined all the walls filled with books and some jars. There was a decent sized table in the middle of the room under the only light, taking up a good chunk of the free space. 

Dean just nearly kidnapped the little blond he helped out that he knew nothing about other than the fact he could kill demons pretty damn well and brought him to his secret bunker and he thought anything that came out of this idea wouldn't be completely fucked? Hell. He was pretty damn sure that Dean didn't even realize yet that he hadn't stepped in to help a pretty little girl, but actually a boy who just happened to look a lot like one. Add on to that fact that this boy was also one of those freaky ass demons he was just talking about and you could see clearly that this man definitely hadn't thought this through. "You have no idea," Izzy mumbled back, not sure or honestly even caring if Dean heard him. 

Izzy set down the glass still in his hand before he shrugged again and followed Dean through the bunker. Fuck. This place really was huge. Izzy couldn't help but grin a little when he looked into the room. Dark. Enclosed. No way for anyone to try and sneak up on him again. Exactly the kind of rooms he liked and usually worked in when he was looking for a party to crash. "Awesome," he said as he walked in the room. Creepy jars and big old books lining the walls on top of everything else, Izzy had instantly and probably noticeably relaxed more when he was in the room that was so much like a place he would actually want to be in. He didn't say anything else as he started scanning the books on one of the shelves, his eyes widening some when he saw what he instantly felt like he had been looking for for years now. It was smaller than any of the other books in here, but that wasn't surprising considering how little information there probably was at all on demons like him. Humans Turning Demon. 

Izzy grabbed the book off the shelf and took a few steps backwards to push himself up to sit on the table, just remembering that Dean was there as he went to open the book. "Uhm… thanks," he said, forcing himself to remember that he was supposed to be a human and actually used to having someone around and even weirder for him- that someone helping him. "Hey… uh, why are you being so like… nice and normal to me? As far as I've seen, people aren't just nice to strangers. Especially when said stranger is a pretty boy who can shove a knife into a human skull."

Dean noticed the small change in the others' demeanor when he showed them the room. The room didn’t bother him or his brother too much but ‘awesome’ wasn’t the normal reaction to this stuff. Though in this line of work, who’s really normal? You see a lot of weird and horrible shit fast and you pick up a few quirks along the way. He had half turned when  the other called out to him and thanked him, he was going to leave Izzy alone to do their digging. He raised an eyebrow when he was asked why he was being so helpful. He opened his mouth with a grin to say it was just the right thing to do for a lady when Izzy said that last part, his words luckily getting caught up in his throat. BOY!? WHOLY FUCK!! Dean’s back straightened as he looked the other over again. It took him a second or two to catch himself and he cleared his throat out a little. “Well you want demons dead and I want demons dead,” he said with a shrug, his brain still trying to absorb this enlightening new detail about the blond. “And I learned about a new fleshy kind of demon, win win,” Dean chuckled. Hell all of Dean seemed stiff. Right now, he honestly didn’t know what the fuck to do.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 70

After every serious arc, I like to do a fluffy chapter. Super fluffy.  And this one is no exception.

There are three people I cannot thank enough for helping with this chapter. First up is @charlylimph-blog for helping me get the character of Charly right.  You may remember her briefly as the woman with the collar from the Food Festival arc.

Second, of course, is @satan-parisienne for beta-ing the stuff I churn out.  She is in town for New Year’s this week, and I had the absolute pleasure of watching her reactions in real-time (something I haven’t gotten to do in several months)! 

Last but not least, @baelpenrose, who has been giving the last few chapters a read to make sure the story is consistent and to poke holes in anything I may have missed or got mixed up.

Happy New Year, and I hope to see you all in the New Roaring 20s!

”Sophia, we sorta kinda maybe need to talk?”

I glanced up from my datapad, rubbing the cramp in my neck as I did. With Insert Winter Holiday – and the crisis with Else – behind us, the backlog at work basically qualified as cruel and unusual punishment in most Terran jurisdictions.  Unfortunately, we weren’t on Terra anymore, so I was working twenty hour days trying to get things back on an even keel. Neither my joints nor my partners were very appreciative of it, but at least Conor and Maverick complained less than my spine did.

When I saw my visitor, I stood with much crackling to greet her.  Charly bounced in, completely oblivious to my crunchy joints. “You work too much,” she scolded without preamble.  “We need a ladies’ night – you, me, Tyche, and Xiomara. No arguments.”

Arching an eyebrow at her uncharacteristically demanding tone, I glanced over her shoulder.  A dark silhouette that rivaled Conor’s height flashed a quick, blinding white grin. I shrugged and looked back to the energetic brunette in front of me. “And when am I supposed to have time for a ladies’ night, Charly?”

“I already talked to Xiomara, who talked to Tyche, who told Alistair to clear your calendar the day after tomorrow.  So, tomorrow night, we’re getting cute and going out!”

“Three out of four of those names are in relationships,” I pointed out.

“So? It’s drinks with the girls.  I tried to ask Grey, but they don’t want to go.” She dropped her eyes and pouted at my navel before looking back in the direction of my face. “Still. It’s not like we have to be on the hunt for sexy fun times just to go out and have drinks together. It’ll be fun. And you know you love the Undine, you just haven’t had an excuse to go back with everything going on.”

Bacon Bloody Marys… I shook my head vigorously, focusing on the present. “You do realize that Xio, Tyche, and I are probably going to talk about work, right?”

“Duh. Geez, that’s what the booze is for.  Complaining about work is enhanced… by the booze.”

I sighed.  Ever since she had been released from medical observation, I had learned that saying no to Charly was incredibly difficult.  Even Tyche just kind of went along with her in something of a confused daze. I swore, the woman had a superpower – people just agreed with her.  The only thing standing between her and Galactic domination was the same low threshold my sister and I shared for being around people.

If she was this eager to go out, to a bar, for a girls’ night, who were we to say no?

“Can I at least take today to think about – “ I tried in vain, only to be cut off.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Girls’ night! Girls’ Night! Ladies’ gonna get druuuuuunk!” she started chanting and dancing in a circle.

 Sure enough, the next night saw Tyche fussing over my outfit and hair, gently trying to tousle it into something she obviously understood and I didn’t.  Xiomara was laughing hard enough that the only thing saving her from an abrupt, face-first introduction with the floor was the doorway she was leaning against.  When I tried to turn my head to scowl at her, Tyche used one very firm fingertip to turn my head back to her. “I’m almost done. Would you just hold still? Sheesh,” she grumbled.

“You know I hate getting dolled up,” I pointed out sulkily.  

She ignored me, instead stepping back to look at her handiwork. “I think that will work,” she finally pronounced with a nod.

The mirror she held up made me want to scream. “I look exactly like I did before!” I cried in confusion. “Why did you spend an hour making my hair look exactly the same!?”

With a low growl, she rolled her eyes and shook her head at a now-gasping Xiomara. “Some people just don’t understand,” she sighed dramatically. Glaring at me, she pointed at my hair. “This does not look the same. It looks intentional.”

Xiomara temporarily sobered up enough to contribute her two cents. “Before, you had bed-head.  Now, you have sex hair.  Big difference.”

“You. Two. Are. Loony,” I ground out. I reached to run a hand through my hair in frustration, only to have Tyche intercept it.

“Don’t you dare. I don’t have time to fix it,” she ordered before dragging me out of my office, my hand still clutched tightly in her grasp.  Groaning as loudly as possible in hopes of rescue, I reluctantly allowed myself to be pulled along until we reached the Undine. Once outside, my sister stopped and dropped my hand, giving me one last once-over before seeming content that I hadn’t managed to wreck her painstaking work in the last forty meters.

I was permitted to enter the pub under my own power.  Making our way to the back of the space, we found Charly had already claimed a high-top.  As soon as we were visible, Coffey gently cupped her jaw in one massive hand and gave her a kiss that was paired with a look that clearly meant Stay out of trouble.  Charly just gave him an angelic smile.

Frankly, the odds of that were fifty-fifty.  Charly wasn’t reckless – not by a long shot. On the contrary, I had learned in recent weeks that she was usually very quiet and extremely cautious. In absolute, direct conflict with this was an underlying need to play pranks on unsuspecting victims.

Given her usual demeanor, ‘unsuspecting’ was synonymous with ‘everyone on the Ark except Noah and Coffey’.  Well, Coffey at least suspected it, but he wasn’t exactly immune to pranks. When I asked her about it once, she just shrugged and told me “Hey, if I’m going to be punished, I may as well deserve it.”

The man in question waved one hand at the three of us before disappearing into the crowd.  I honestly had no clue how he did that – he was easily the second tallest human on the ship.  More annoyingly, he did it all. The. Damned. Time. It was profoundly frustrating, albeit very impressive. Squashing the sigh I felt bubbling up, I turned back to the table. Tyche and Xiomara were already seated, leaving me a seat across from my sister.

No sooner did I climb onto my seat, than Sebastian came through the crowd with a tray full of drinks.  Coconut rum and fruit juice for Tyche, an enormous Bloody Mary for myself, neat whiskey for Xiomara, and eye-catchingly blue something-slushy with a huge wedge of pineapple and an umbrella for Charly.  She caught me looking and held it up so I could see it better. “It has alcohol, I swear – blue curacao, cognac, and rum.”

With a skeptic glance, Tyche sniffed the drink and wrinkled her nose. “Sounds like a hangover.”

“Nuh-uh,” Charly retorted. “It sounds like fun!”

Xiomara rolled her eyes before downing her whiskey with a wink at me. “If we’re here to drink, may as well, right?”

An hour and a half later, Sebastian was taking away our most recent set of empty glasses, ducking Tyche’s hand as she gesticulated wildly.  She was telling some story to Charly, who had slowly scooted her chair closer and closer.  At the moment, she was leaning on the part of the table that was actually in front of my sister, watching and giggling as Tyche enthusiastically flailed and made exaggerated faces.  I could not figure out for the life of me what story she was telling, but a few minutes later she tipped her head back with a clap of her hands and a peal of laughter. This sent Charly into a fit of giggles, face down on her arms.

I glanced at Xiomara, who was smiling, but still clearly sober despite her drinks. With a conspiratorial tone, I told her “They are soooo drrrrr… draaa…. dur-rur-rur… Inebriated. Very inebriated.”

Xio stopped mid-sip to arch an eyebrow at me. “You seriously couldn’t get out the word drunk so you went with, of all things, inebriated!?”

Tyche and Charly collapsed into howling laughter at the disbelief in her tone. I just tapped my temple and sat as straight as I possibly could, offended. “Dain bramage, Xio. Loooooots of brain damage.”  I ruined my scolding tone by belatedly realizing what I had initially said and snorting with laughter.

That seemed to break the dam to pieces, because I started giggling and could not stop myself no matter how hard I tried.  It didn’t help when, just as the giggling started to trickle off, Charly howled “Dain Bramaaaage!” at the top of her lungs and blindly toasted the room with a mostly-empty hurricane glass.  The gesture sent the wedge of pineapple on the rim into a tumbling arc…

Right into Xiomara’s whiskey, droplets splashing her face.

I didn’t know whether it was the pineapple or the wet-cat look on Xio’s face, but either way, it was the funniest thing the three of us had ever seen. Soon, Tyche and I were leaning against Charly, fighting for breath against the laughter that was possessing us like minor demons.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Xiomara mock-sneered. “Go ahead, laugh it up.  I swear, you three are –“

When she stopped mid-sentence, Tyche popped up like a meerkat.  Almost immediately, she was smacking my shoulder and shaking Charly. “Look!  Looklooklooklooklook.”

Xiomara was frozen, face slack, mouth half-open with the dying breath of whatever she was about to call us.  Her eyes were glued to the entrance of the Undine.  I felt two different spots in my neck pop as I snapped my head around to see what she was staring at.  At first, all I could see was just an ocean of people getting after-work drinks and socializing… granted, it was a little quieter than I expected, and more people were talking in hushed tones than I remembered from bars back home, but maybe I was just out of touch.

Tyche saved me again by reaching across, grabbing my jaw, and turning my head to face what Xiomara was looking at: a beautiful woman, about my height, with what seemed like miles of thick, black hair, and a stunning blue saree with warm gold and pale green details coming over her shoulder.  I could see how she was a show-stopper, honestly, but Xio’s reaction seemed a bit dramatic.

In contrast to this, Charly’s head came up, dislodging Tyche’s hand. “Oh, that’s just Parvati!  She’s an artist.  I think she told me once she did murals in the Before?”

The statement seemed to snap Xio out of her trance. “What? How do you know her?”

Oblivious to the demanding tone, Charly shrugged. “She works with Hannah a lot. Like, a lot-lot. So I’ve met her a few times.  She’s really lovely, honestly.  Some of her work is in the database… she did a lot of politically-charged protest art, like this one…what was it called?” She snapped her fingers a few times, lost in thought. “Started with a ‘G’ I think? Refugee something?”

“Refugee Guernica!?” my sister and I demanded at the same time.  

“Yeah! That one.  The really violent one.”

The piece had been extremely controversial: a hyper-realistic mural of climate refugees, posed to evoke the original Picasso work and gaunt with starvation.  That, alone, would have been palatable to the powers-that-were.  However… the artist had gone one step further and portrayed what had been livestock in the original work as human beings, feasted upon by the fattened rich.  It had also been in true-to-life color, which hadn’t helped soften any blows.  Tyche and I had both been breathless the first time we saw an image of it.

“That is the person who did that mural?” Tyche asked, pointing a finger at the woman across the bar.

Charly nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! Parvati Fletcher.  Remember? Signed all her murals with a little arrow, fletched with peacock feathers?”

Xiomara’s eyes narrowed. “She did the one decrying the Baconists, didn’t she?”

“Yeah! Animal Farm, the scene where the pigs were adding ‘but some animals are more equal than others’.  I don’t know if Parvati has it in her to hate, but the closest I ever saw her come was when she compared Baconists to the rich. She said that the only difference between the two was that Baconists were more honest about wanting annihilate humanity.”

Dark eyes narrowed as Xio flicked open her datapad, summoning data furiously. Abruptly, she relaxed. “I remember this file… We suspected her after what happened on Level One, but Noah confirmed on three separate occasions that she was telling the truth.”

“Duuuuuhhhhhhhhh,” Charly intoned, rolling her eyes comically. “Vati doesn’t argue much, but one thing that will always make her speak is the fact that she only believes that humanity is at its best if everyone is given the opportunity to be their best.”

“That’s… why she’s here, isn’t it?” I asked with dawning comprehension.

“Well, yeah. Why else? You’re here for the same reason, right? You believe in the best in a person, no matter the person, right?  Well, she believes in that… It’s like, if you’re a psychologist, she would be a sociologist.  She believes in the best in humanity, not just the best in a person.”

Huh. That was a breath of fresh air.  I glanced back at Xiomara. She looked lost, and I followed her sight back to the same blue and earth-tone saree, shining dark hair, and a bright white laugh. I glanced back and forth a few times before the realization hit me between the eyes like a sledgehammer. The gaping stare, the quick background check and almost melting relief… “Xio?” I whispered in that special, extra-quiet volume only drunk people can use. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Tell the whole bar, why don’t you?” she grumbled.

“Hey, I’m not judging,” I held my hands up placatingly. “I just…. I had a completely different idea in mind for your type, that’s all.  Took me a bit to realize I was so, so wrong.”

“Oh, yeah, peopling-queen?” she smirked. “Do tell, what did you have in mind as ‘my type’?”

“Well, I saw this video once of a lady who broke a pumpkin in half between her thighs…” I gave her a pointed look.

Next to her, Tyche nodded vigorously. “And more sharp objects.  We both thought your affections could only be won by someone who could best you in single combat.”

Charly scowled. “There are more types of combat than fighting, you two.  I bet Parvati has incited more political uprisings than any four people at this table.” My brows furrowed and I opened my mouth to say something, but Charly rolled her eyes again and cut me off. “Yes, Sophia. I am aware there are only four people at this table. That’s the point.”

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