#but like i said it's not worth worrying about since they are just an example rather than the core issue

[wilhelminyard]

compilation of nice/sweet things the foxes said to neil because even though they're a bunch of assholes who insult anyone in their vicinity they all just love him so damn much - except aaron - (part 3) :

ANDREW :

"I said I would keep you alive this year. you make it infinitely more difficult for me when you actively try to get yourself killed."

"the next time someone comes from you, stand down and let me deal with it. do you understand?"

"you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs" "I'm not a hallucination" "you are a pipe dream."

"what would you give me?" "don't ask questions you already know the answer to"

"this isn't yes. this is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't. I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be."

"I've never understood why he likes knives" "he will lose his taste when he has one in his gut"

"kevin is a fool whose style is numbers and angles. formulas and statistics, trial and error, repetition and insanity. all he cares about is finding the perfect game. a junkie like you can't be that cold."

"last summer you made me a promise. I'm asking you to break it." "no." "you said you'd stick with me if I kept kevin south, but kevin doesn't need me anymore. he chose us over the ravens because as a whole we're finally worth his time. there's nothing else I can give you in exchange for your protection." "I will think of something."

"spring break's coming. we could go someplace" "where and why?" "anywhere. anywhere at least three hours from campus. there's no point in going someplace closer than that. it won't feel like a vacation. the only trick is figuring out how to pry kevin away from the court" "I have knives"

"no one's said a word to them since they said we couldn't see you"

"if you tell me to leave I'll go" "you aren't going anywhere"

"I have to go. I don't trust them to give you back."

"ready?" "waiting on you"

"can I really be neil again?" "I told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father."

"andrew could break our deal and let me go or break things off with neil" "he chose neil over you?"

"your close calls are getting old. I thought you knew how to run" "I thought you told me to stop running" "survival tip: no one likes a smart mouth" "except you"

WYMACK :

"I can't believe you trusted david to patch you up" "I was careful with him"

"you're a hundred times better now than you were in may. don't sell yourself short."

"go easy for a few days, would you?"

"are you okay?"

"neil asked us to leave the authorities out of this. I respect him enough to allow that"

"didn't I tell you not to worry about it?"

"I'm making you vice-captain next year"

"didn't you notice? they're uniting around and behind you. that's something special. you're something special."

"look me in the eye and tell me if you think I care who you used to be. hm? I care about who you are right now and who you can be going forward. I'm not asking you to forget your past, but I am telling you to overcome it."

"neil. talk to me. what do you want?"

"giving up on neil now goes against everything we are."

"I'm sorry. I should've told you but I couldn't" "don't worry about that right now."

"we'll wait for you, all right? as long as it takes, neil"

"I should be thanking you. you told us last night you intended to end the year dead or in federal custody. you could have shut everyone and everything out and worried about yourself this year. instead you agreed to help dan fix this team. you're saving the two I thought we couldn't reach, and you're a living example for kevin to follow. he never used to watch you but he's had eyes on you since december trying to figure out how you stand your ground."

"they told me to call them as soon as you returned. have you returned?"

"neil is a critical member of my team. you can ask any person on my line-up and they will all agree : we would not be where we are today if he wasn't here with us."

MATT :

"I want to break his face in six places. if he ever comes within a thousand yards of you again-"

"you okay?" "I'm fine" "for the record, I don't believe you"

"neil? we're here when you want to talk about it"

"neil? you good?"

"we're all legal adults here. we've made our decision. unless he wants to stay with you, you'd better bring neil back to us when you're done with all your questions

"hey, coach made us promise to leave you alone but are you okay?"

"they will get rid of me" "you're not serious"

"things could have gone much worse. I'm glad they didn't. you want anything, you need anything, you let us know. okay?" "okay" "I mean it" "I know. I'm done lying to you, matt. I promise."

"did andrew really choke kevin?" "took three of us to pull him off"

"we can't replace you"

DAN :

"neil? if you want to talk about any of it, or anything, or... you know we're here for you, right? whatever you need."

"kevin knew about this didn't he? he knew what riko was going to do to you and he let you go anyway. the next time I see him-"

"don't do this to us. don't sit here and lie to our faces. we're your friends. we deserve better than that."

"you told the truth. it's not your fault they don't like it."

"are you sure you're okay, neil?"

"go. but come back to us as soon as they're done with you, okay? we'll figure this out as a team."

"you're not playing. you think coach will let you on the court when you look like that? I'll sub in for you, neil. renee can help allison out one more time, right? trust us to hold the line. you focus on healing so we can use you in semifinals."

KEVIN :

"kevin called me yesterday morning when he couldn't get a hold of you. he wanted to make sure you were okay."

NICKY :

"don't you dare tell me you're fine. I can't hear that from you today, okay?"

"you can't have neil. he belongs with us"

"neil isn't a real person. it's just a cover that let nathaniel evade authorities. it's past time to let him go." "neil or nathaniel or whoever. he's ours, and we're not letting him go. you want us to vote on it or something? bet you it'll be unanimous."

"don't worry. andrew will protect you."

"hey, you good?"

ALLISON :

"it would have neen better if you'd come to the store with us. it doesn't matter. I bought out the entire row."

"I'm sorry" "shut up. no you're not. you're not. have you forgotten who has to paint you back together every morning? if you'd let them steamroll you yesterday after all this I would hate you"

"it is not safe for [neil] here anymore and it sure as hell isn't safe for you. it is better for everyone if he disappears." "what part of 'go to hell' do you need us to explain to you?"

RENEE :

"so those knives he brings everywhere are yours?" "were mine. he was right; I don't need them anymore. if you need them, he will give them to you, and I will teach you how to use them"

"if you want to talk more later, you know where to find me"

"will you be all right here?"

"kevin is very analytical whereas you're passionate."

"what do you need from us, neil?"

"I can do it." "I know you can. but perhaps it's easier if someone helps you."

ABBY :

"sometimes I think this job is going to kill me. seeing what people have done, what people continue to do, to my foxes. I wish I could protect you but I'm always too late. all I can do is patch you up afterward and hope for the best. I'm sorry, neil. we should have been there for you"

"let me take a look at you"

"it's over. it's over. you're going to be okay. we've got you."

"I dropped my gear in new york" "andrew found it while he was looking for you"

[redgearsmovin]

man .

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

Perhaps Fentons are not able to recognize their child, despite the fact that they hunt him day after day. But for childhood friends, who saw each other in absolutely ridiculous situations that parents are never allowed to know about, just one sneeze and a bored sigh is enough to realize that this weirdo fighting next to him is the same guy with whom you tasted soap and then stood looking at each other from different corners and giggling.

And so, the dialogue after the battle with the creatures of Infinite Realms, to which Constantine had to invite a potential ally not yet approved by the League:

Phantom: Well, mom always said you were bad news...But a crime lord, seriously? What happened to your plans to become a literature teacher? Red Hood: Hey! For Gotham, this is a very high-paying in-demand job. And I don't want to hear anything from Casper. At least I have my own business. What kind of part-time job do you have? Are you selling sheets to your buddies from this green goo? Phantom: This is ectoplasm. And they're not my friends, and anyway… Constantine: King Phantom, do you know Red Hood? Phantom: Do I know him? Ha! This street rat was Splinter of my beginnings until my family moved out of Gotham.

Red Hood: Wait, wait a minute. Phah...Holy shit. I thought I was the best example of what it means to be a disappointment to a family, but you beat me here. Oh, man, only you...The ghost king who is the son of the ghost hunters? Seriously? Hahah! I thought your rebellious phase ended the moment you told your father that you wanted to be an astronaut and not inherit the family business.

Danny*groans and covers his face with his hands*: My life is over.

Red Hood: Literally~ No, of course I always knew that your parents' disregard for safety in the laboratory would someday kill someone, but I didn't really expect this? Like, wow… Phantom: What makes you think it was an incident in the lab? I mean, there are so many possibilities around. It's ridiculous and…hah Red Hood: Dude, look me straight in the face and tell me I'm wrong if you dare. Phantom:…Fuck you, stupid bookworm. Red Hood: Stubborn nerd. Phantom: Red bucket! Red Hood: Pale toadstool! Nightwing: Um, can you guys please stop fighting? Red Hood: What are you talking about? This is how we always communicate. Phantom: Yeah! Well, in our defense, my sister always thought we both could use a therapist. Oh, man, he made me lose my train of thought. Where were we, J? Red Hood: Since when are you able to think? And I complimented your new hair and skin color. Phantom: Right, right… But, hey, not all of my parents' hypotheses really have a right to exist, and you know it! Hm, did I mention that you're built like a fridge and how does this leather jacket suit you? Red Hood: I believe not. And who's talking about your parents' work? You were an airhead when you were alive too to be honest. And as I see it, not much has changed. Why the hell are you still starting a fight with puns? Stop telling your opponent your position. This is terribly stupid! Phantom: Oh, please, these ghosts are definitely not a threat to me. What's wrong with having a little fun? The fact that you don't have weapons to handle something stronger than a blob ghost is your problem not mine, loser. But let's get back to our greetings. Red Hood: Sure. Then listen here…

~~~~~

Nightwing: Jay, why didn't you say right away that you knew Phantom? We've wasted so much time wondering if it's worth summoning him, and you just stood there and said nothing. Red Hood: Pfff…Because I didn't know that until today. He used to be human. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. So how was I to know that he would take such a ridiculous pseudonym? Nightwing: Then why the hell didn't you feel worried about teasing this creature? Red Hood: Why should I? It's just Danny.

~~~~

Tucker: Oh man, 84 murders, attempts to kill Joker and to much fights with Batman and Black Mask and… Danny: Yeah, yeah. It's all very interesting, but it's not what I asked you to find. Get to the point, Tucker. What I will wear to our dinner tonight depends on this. Tucker: Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, whether he's single or not is less important than all this shit. Aren't you afraid to show up at his house? Danny: I'm invited. And for that matter, I'm Amity Park's former public enemy number one. Which one of us should be worried, hah? So he's not dating anyone, right? Don't try to distract me. Tucker: Dude! Danny: Ugh, in my experience, when he acts like he's lost his mind, he usually has good reasons for it. And if not, given some of the events of my alternative future, I have no right to judge him, so…

[portsandstars]

Revisiting Red Spring Studio's Interview with Blerdy Otome - Select Quotes

It's been almost a year since RSS had this interview, but I think that many people have not listened to it, or recently revisited it. I thought I'd highlight some quotes from it, though the entire interview is worth watching! Some of these quotes I have lightly modified for clarity or succinctness but the majority are direct transcripts.

23:30: "Touchstarved is a horror romance visual novel where the entire cast is made up of characters where you're like, "I can fix them!" but you actually can't. I think that Touchstarved is a very complex and mature story with really really complex themes and interwoven routes and obviously it's very sexy at the same it's a romance - and I think it's one of those games that I've always wanted to see exist and I think that a lot of the team has always wanted to see this game exist as far as being this kind of like dark, broody, moody, but also very deep, right, and authentic and honest exploration - Monsters, and the feeling of being a monster - feeling of being an "other", right, whether you're queer or POC or anything like that… we've created a game that's not only really fun and action-packed and bloody and all that kind of stuff… but very heartfelt in a way that I hope readers can pick up on.

Imo, this line of reasoning ("you can't fix them", and the cast's monstrous nature and how it intrinsically ties to/is an analogy for being queer, or POC) - makes me think that even in the good endings for the game, your character won't be minimizing the character's monstrousness. For example, even if your character has the Power of True Love, it's not going to make Vere nonviolent or absolve Kuras's guilt.

25:35: "These themes are pretty complicated in a way that's messy and honestly bloody and I think for that reason is why we're looking at a mature rating - that said, when we set out to make the game our goal wasn't really to be explicit, it was much more to focus on sexiness . . ."

Just clarifying that there won't be explicit sex scenes in the game.

28:55: "What are some aspects of the story that you are most excited to showcase?" "I'm so excited that people get to die terribly, that just gets me so pumped up. Like in previous jobs I have not been allowed to brutally murder . . . main characters permanently and it's very important to me that I now have the power to write really just messed up awful endings…Don't worry, there's also good endings there too, they just get as much passion and all that stuff as the bad endings… but the bad endings, oh my gosh, those are some of my favorites."

This line makes me curious about whether the main characters are just MC, or if the other characters will brutally die as well!

30:50 "A little while ago we posted Kuras's character reveal and people really like the fact that he can't cook so for me it's really cute and innocent seeing people obsess over that fact and I really just want them to see the contrast between that version of Kuras in their head and what he's actually like in his route. Like I just really want to see them react to like the terrible things he's going to do. . . They're all awful in different ways that I'm really excited for people to see it - it's very funny to see everyone be like _Literally name any of the characters of the cast and be like "they're my little meow meow" and it's like, oh. good. I hope this continues once they learn more about the characters. Obviously they're all wonderful - right, the characters are all awful but they're also all wonderful".

32:26 : "the theme of monstrousness and how each character kind of approaches it differently . . . because they're all monsters, even if they're not literally monsters . . .it also plays into each character's brand of horror in their own way as well that ties into their monstrous nature."

This line especially (to me) hints at how Leander is likely not SPECIFICALLY a monster, but a human with a monstrous nature.

34:30: - Ais was the first character they made and each of the other characters build upon him, so they spent a lot of time getting him right. Vere was the easiest to create and they made him in a weekend. Kuras was the hardest to create (especially visually).

38:00 "This is a romance game and a big draw of the game is making a love connection with these characters - do you all plan on including platonic friendship routes in addition to romance routes, or is it strictly romance?" The way that we planned out this game is that we wanted to focus on the intimacy of these individual relationships between the main character and the love interest and the route that they're on, right, so this is the way we had planned the game from the beginning. We really like poly romances, for example, and friendships, but we think that it wouldn't have made much sense for the characters in the story that we had written for them because this entire story - with who the main character is and why they're having to turn to these mysterious monstrous strangers - there's a level of intimacy involved in the themes and stories that we really focused on for how we're writing…

It's almost like a narrative design intentionality we did early on because each route that you'll be able to play from the main five cast is very driven and each character is like a ticking time bomb in their own way. So if you choose to romance Vere, Kuras's route still continues and you can see the effects of what not choosing Kuras is in Vere's route when you're playing Vere's route. So the world is meant to be very interwoven and interconnected where you can see the ripples of everyone's choices even when you're not romancing them and in that way we've designed this cast that's woven together. So if we did want to do a poly route, we would probably have to do entirely new characters . ."

43:30: "One of the fundamental goals of this game was to have, as you've been saying, a living world - a world that's evolving, and one of the ways that we wanted to communicate that was with the idea that these characters are not doing great… um, they're all in very very bad situations, uh, they're all essentially doomed if you do not go with them and it's seeing that carried out in each route that I hope will be really interesting for people.. it will be very sad, in a good way".

ARGHHH this is the WORST. This means that if you choose a character, you're essentially dooming the others. Though this will undoubtedly manufacture delicious angst, I'm soooo sad at imagining each of the other characters faltering and ultimately failing on their paths because you didn't chose them. Though, I wonder if there are some routes where multiple characters turn out ok, or if the entire cast is doomed as soon as you don't select them (in different ways depending on the route)?

54:30: "I also want to clarify too that even though we've been talking about blood a lot and all that kind of stuff and death and we love those parts of the story, um, if you get those endings there's a reason why, you know what I'm saying - you have to actively try to get those endings - poke the bear with a stick."

Definitely referencing Vere's bad ending in the demo. Personally I am too curious to avoid them, but it's encouraging that some of the MC deaths appear to be because you deliberately make dangerous choices, rather than simply "tricking" the player and surprising them.

Let me know what you think of these quotes, and the whole interview is definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it!

[nameuserlee]

“Sometimes a perfect moment makes me believe in destiny.”

Another collection of Sylus' lines, from interacting with him at the café. Part 1

“I'm a terrible singer? You just have no taste.”

“What are you trying to find in my eyes? All I can see is you.”

“My eyes can't always figure out your intentions. Tell me what you want to do with me. Don't make me guess.”

“No distance is too far so long as I decide it isn't.”

“Come closer when you talk. Your voice is the only sound I want to hear right now.”

“Your hands are warm. The same can be said about your lips.”

“(Y/N)? I didn't sleep well last night. But now that you're here, I can rest my eyes for a few minutes.”

“After you left last night, I noticed the moonlight here was nice. The protagonists in a movie should dance together before parting ways.”

“My jawline is sharper than your weapons? ...I don't think that's a compliment.”

“ 'A long neck'... That doesn't sound like a compliment. The bigger the vulnerable spot, the more likely it'll be targeted.”

“I don't know anyone who shares your fascination for necks. What, are you planning to bite me there so I can feel pain?”

“Everything that makes me relax is worth paying extra attention to. For example... you.”

“We can share luck if we hold hands? Aren't you worried I'll take all of yours?”

“When enemies see me, their luck runs out. My luck improves when I see you.”

“Legends say crows can steal a person's soul by cawing at night. Do you believe that?”

“A gentle touch is an alluring trap that can lead to your fall from grace. I prefer the cold, and things that make me strong.”

“Addictive things are dangerous. But when you're strong enough, you can enjoy that kind of danger.”

“You're the most complex problem I've encountered. Ever.”

Half of these, I discovered all at once. I was scrambling to take screenshots since I wasn't really expecting him to say anything new. (especially that lips line because WHAT) (also why won't this man take a compliment?)

[sarnai4]

Opening Up

About opening up...Dagur kinda doesn't. (Spoilers ahead)

This is something I've seen some fans talk about where they say Dagur would reveal personal information easily. I see where they're coming from with this. Looking at Dagur, I'd expect that too. He's outspoken, emotional, unrestrained, etc. He seems like someone who could randomly say, "I had a good cry today," and it wouldn't be anything surprising. HOWEVER, that changes for me when I look at the proof from the show. If Dagur was half as open about things as this would imply, then we wouldn't be forced to speculate so much about his past and the things that have happened to him. In another case of me spending too much time studying Dragons (probably. Still worth it), I tried to collect all the examples of Dagur sharing information. They have something in common. Each time, there's a specific reason. I'll go in chronological order.

In "Enemy of My Enemy," Dagur tells Hiccup how revenge can make you do things you didn't think you were capable. This was an interesting moment of really getting to see how the villain we saw Dagur be wasn't who he always was. It even shocked him how extreme his actions became. This has the potential to be some heavy stuff, but he didn't just outright say it for fun. He said it because he saw Hiccup going down that same path. This isn't, "I can't believe the things I've done and really need someone to talk to." It's, "I see you following in my footsteps and they led me in a terrible direction. I don't want that for you."

It takes Dagur F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to admit he didn't kill Oswald. Even as a good guy, he doesn't say it easily. In "Family on the Edge," he implies that something Heather said out of the sent her adrift, killed their dad, and tried to kill them list wasn't true, but he doesn't just say it. He writes it in the letter, admitting that and how he was worried that the other Berserkers wouldn't follow him otherwise. If he wanted to do it for emotional release reasons, he could've just said the first time or even told her way back when he thought they were on the same side. Rather than that, he puts it in a letter so that her final relative won't be quite as bad as she thinks he is.

In "Searching for Oswald...And Chicken," Dagur has two moments. First, he tells Heather how he's spent most of his life in varying stages of existential crisis. (Just wow for that. Wish we had heard more about it because that is quite the emotional load he nonchalantly dropped) Again, this clearly isn't to get something off his chest because it's not even something he brings up again. He just tells her so that she'll have proof he knows what is meaningless, hopefully getting her to stop throwing herself in harm's way to find Oswald. Later, he tells Hiccup he keeps anger, frustration, and rage to himself. This also isn't to share so much as to prove he can keep secrets and deserves to be trusted with the location of Vanaheim.

Then, we have "In Plain Sight." There, we find out he used to get bullied. He waited until as much of the last moment as possible to tell Fishlegs and Snotlout this. They had already flown from the Edge to Berserker Island and were literally walking down to meet Ansson. So, I don't think it's him wanting to share sensitive information. It's him knowing they're about to be there with the bully and since Ansson doesn't care about playing nice, it's going to be obvious that he used to bully him. This is just softening the blow a little by telling them first. Didn't really help, though, since they still laughed at him being called "Dainty." (Not cool even though I get how weird it would be to hear someone call him that)

Unless I'm mistaken, that's everything. I don't think there's another time when Dagur reveals something personal. Each of these had some deeper purpose. This is why I don't believe Dagur would start speaking about his past traumas without a prompt. Now, I'll say I do enjoy having him talk about this in stories and I support other writers who do. I just believe it takes a little nudge. He's not going to sit down next to someone and talk about his time in jail. He has literally never spoken about his time in jail in the entire show except the first RTTE episode to say that he spent 3 years thinking about Hiccup. So, it actually leaves a lot of room to be creative with what his past even has first, then what situation would get him to spill the beans.

[l0vergirlwrites]

our moments ; rick grimes

warnings: mentions of weapons, blood, death, swearing, some angst & a sweet slow burn

a few moments with rick throughout the time you’ve known each other that aided your slow burn:

1. early prison days

since you were new the group, it was hard fitting into their little family when you stumbled across them with tyrese & sasha after carl led you through the prison’s catacombs. despite your previous group leaving, going off somewhere else to call home, you stayed because your gut told you to.

you followed their orders & stayed clear of the group to focus on your daily tasks to prove that you’re person of your word until you were allowed to sleep in the same cell block as the rest of them.

one night when you decided to stay up & count the food rations in the main area, you didn’t expect someone to join you.

with a small gaslit lamp, a notebook & half a broken pencil, you were busy looking back & forth between the canned food & your paper until the metal door of the cell block creaked quietly. springing your head up, your body slightly relaxed when you saw the group’s leader begin to approach you.

“what are you doing?” rick asked you, bouncing judith up & down in his arms to calm her fussing.

taking a seat across from you at the circular metal table, you tucked your hair behind your ears & looked back at him. “just some food inventory,” you said looking around at the cans & bags of grain still left from the group’s last run.

“glenn mentioned that maggie & him were planning to do a run tomorrow, so i thought an updated inventory list would be helpful” your kind explanation made rick give you a tiny smile in approval.

“that’s nice of ya to do, thanks” he said while looking back between you & his daughter. the grip she had on his thumb made your heart swell. it was nice to see something full of love in a world where death crept everywhere.

“could i ask you something?”.

humming in response, rick lowered judith to his chest & focused on you.

“why have you kept me around?” the question lingered in the air.

scratching his chin, rick looked back at you & tilted his head a little, almost like he was analyzing you.

“you’ve proven yourself,” rick started. “you’ve shown your loyalty, you’ve gotten along with everyone & followed through with orders… & you’re pretty good with a gun & bow” he listed off a few reasons, seeing you grow a shy smile on your face.

it felt nice to know he approved you.

“the things you do—like staying up to do something that’ll help others tomorrow—is the kind of thing we need more of… sets a good example, shows you’re worth it” his voice grew more sincere as he spoke.

this was the first time you both have had a one-on-one conversation. it was nice.

“i was unsure about you…” he noted, your eyes flashing with worry for a moment.

“—but you’ve proven me wrong so far… keep doing that” giving you an encouraging boost of morale, he rose from his seat once he noticed judith getting sleepy, heading towards the metal door to leave you to it.

“thank you rick,” you called out softly, making him pause his movements. “really, thank you”

“you’re welcome… goodnight” he said looking back at you.

the gaze you both held ignited a small warm feeling. you both felt it, but ignored it.

“goodnight” you waved him off, sighing contently before getting back to your ration notes.

2. post prison

after the prison fell, you wound up alone & fearful in the woods. with the few items you had in your emergency bag, you were able to survive for a few days by sleeping in the high trees, tying your body to large branches so you wouldn’t fall.

but you were tired, going hungry, & your injuries were going to get worse if you didn’t find more medical supplies soon.

it was hard for you to get proper sleep when the friendships you’ve made with rick & the group keep you up at night. did they make it out? are any of them hurt? are they alone too?

the questions were endless.

but instead of wallowing, you knew you had to keep going. by using the tracking tricks daryl had taught you a few times when going on runs, you were hopefully making progress in tracking a decently fresh pair of boots that led to an abandoned neighborhood. you weren’t able to tell if they belonged to anyone you knew, but your gut was telling you to follow them.

the neighborhood was silent, alike many other ghost towns you’ve came across since the world fell apart, but it gave you a hopeful feeling as you pushed yourself to search the houses for anything, or anyone. old books, tvs, clothes, dead bodies, children’s toys—all covered by layers of dust, dried blood, flies & debris.

it took you a few houses to find a decently stacked medical kit, which you used to clean a few of your shallow cuts on your arms & cheek from getting bark burn. you also found a few canned goods which gave you some hope, but there was no sign that anyone from the prison had even been in the area yet.

when you reached the middle area of houses along the street, you heard a muffled sound of something falling, intriguing you to look further. slowly making your way up a set of porch steps, knife out & ready to use. you quietly scanned the front windows to see if anything was near the front of the house.

you expected walkers. you didn’t expect rick & carl.

as soon as you saw them, you felt immediate relief wash over you, overwhelming you to the point where you had tears welling in your eyes. so you knocked on the door & waited.

rustling. silence. mumbling. creaking.

the door opened cautiously, & behind it you saw a beaten up rick grimes looking at you with a smile. before either of you could say anything, carl was already rushing into your arms & holding you in a tight embrace, causing you to laugh as a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

“hi—“

“—how did you find us?!” carl asked into your shoulder.

“i tracked. gut feeling” you sniffled as you held him tighter, your eyes melting into rick’s as his smile grew.

the way he looked at you spoke more than words could.

his blue eyes flashed “i missed you”

& yours flashed back “i missed you too”

after carl let you go & pulled you inside, locking the door, you & rick stood in front of each other for a moment, soft smiles present on your faces.

you were the first to initiate the hug.

“i’m glad you’re okay” you mumbled into his torn shirt, holding him tighter when you felt rick’s arms go around your shoulders.

“right back at ya” he whispered to you, leaning his head on-top of yours until you pulled away, getting a good look at him.

rick was beaten to a pulp with dirt & dried blood on his clothes & skin, along with a partial black eye near his swollen cheek.

“you look—“

“rough” carl says, causing you to turn to him & laugh.

turning back to rick, you pointed to your worn out backpack. “got some stuff to fix that” you smiled, following carl into the kitchen where you told him to sit so you could check him for injuries.

rick followed behind shortly, ghosting in the doorway as he looked at you bearing your own set of injuries, rushing your medical kit items out while carl updated you on what happened since the fall.

the way you treated carl with such care made rick feel that small warm feeling again. his gut was trying to telling him something. but he hasn’t pieced it together yet. & somehow, neither have you.

3. pre-terminus

“if you fall, i get the last kit-kat!”

“oh you’re so on!”

the train tracks to terminus, a so-called safe haven, were longer than anticipated. the journey was bound to take a couple days. but so far with you, rick & carl, it’s been pleasant.

you tried to keep carl entertained by balancing on the train tracks as rick stayed a head of you both, laughing at the childish energy emitting from your game.

“what’re you guys doing?” rick asked with a smile on his face, walking backwards now as he looked between you & carl with looks of concentration on your faces.

“winning” you replied, hearing carl scoff beside you as a rebuttal.

rick shook his head at both of you, turning around to keep his eyes out for any threats until he heard someone’s feet clash against the gravel.

“oh shit—“

“haha i win!”

turning his heard around again, rick saw you on the gravel with a playful pout on your face while carl was lifting his arms up in victory.

“fair is fair” you said while handing carl the kit-kat bar, smiling softly when you saw how happy he was to have it.

“we can share—“

“carl, you don’t have to—“

“fair is fair! take your half y/n”

taking a half of the kit-kat bar, you thanked the boy & looked towards rick, seeing him motion you to come forward.

once you were beside him, he called carl to come in front so he could keep an eye on him, then he went back to looking at you.

“thank you” rick said, nodding his head towards carl.

“you don’t have to thank me” you nudged his elbow with yours.

as rick looked ahead at his son still balancing on the train tracks, he sighed.

you & carl being friends is not a strange concept—the whole group, including rick, knew the small friendship. you got him comic books with michonne, & he made you origami figures in return. you looked out for him, & he looked out for you.

“you being here… i think it’s helping him cope with… ” you knew who was referring to… it was judith.

“rick,” placing a hand on his shoulder, you squeezed the material of his jacket. “i-i—“

“it’s okay,” he assured, tight lipped smile on his face as he relished your presence.

“i don’t think you should give up on her yet” you told him slowly, seeing him furrow his brows.

“why?” he asked quietly, trying to find any hope within himself to believe that his daughter is still out there, safe from harm.

“gut feeling” you said simply, seeing rick look he wasn’t sure if he should believe you.

“you always go with your gut?” he asked again, looking at you with an unreadable look on his face.

nodding your head, you told him yes. “its what made me stay at the prison… made me find you & carl, so yeah—i go with my gut”

“i might do the same then”

his words made you smile as you gave his shoulder one last squeeze, dropping your hand back into your coat pocket.

the rest of the walk was quiet, besides carl’s random questions you encouraged him to ask so he’d keep himself busy. rick often chimed in too, the three of you walking side by side until the forest welcomed you again.

the warm feeling came back again. it was growing stronger than before. but still, neither of you knew what it meant.

4. post-terminus

terminus was a huge lie. a total shit show. & it left the group feeling worse than the fall of the prison. you had found a small church to crash at, courtesy of gabriel, a priest that none of you could seem to trust much, but you needed shelter.

the group, along with a few new members named abraham, eugene & rosita, all gathered around the alter area under a few candles & ate from some of gabriel’s rations, everyone talking & catching up. it was nice to be reunited with the group of people you’ve come to love, even though not all of them survived.

you sat next to maggie, directly in front of rick, & watched him play with judith as he relished his reunion with his daughter. it made your heart swell with happiness to know your gut feeling was right, that judith was safe with tyrese & carol after all.

she’s been making grabby hands towards you & maggie for a while now, causing rick to laugh before nudging your foot with his.

“ya wanna hold her?” he asked, seeing you nod your head carefully as you scooted closer to rick, hands shaking slightly due to nerves because you’ve never held her before.

everyone continued their conversations, but maggie & glenn stared at you two with knowing looks on their faces because they saw something you & rick haven’t noticed yet.

once you were seated beside rick, your back against the wood of the altar, he slowly passed judith over to you & she immediately grabbed your hair, gently pulling on the strands as you held her in your lap. you talked to her in a hushed voice, smiling as you heard her giggle & point towards rick a few times.

“she likes ya” rick drawled, both of you smiling brightly as judith babbled on.

“y/n,” you looked to rick as he talked, your eyes shining in the amber coloured candle light—it made him feel the warm feeling again.

“yeah?” you questioned when he went silent again, wondering what questions were swirling around in his head.

his brows furrowed again, not in a confused way, but in a concerned one. “you okay?”

his voice was quiet, making it clear he wanted to have a somewhat private moment with you. you weren’t too sure what to say—you haven’t been fine since the world fell apart, hell—no has been. but since you’ve become a member of his group & built friendships with them, you felt good.

“it’s like a double sided coin,” you tried to explain, finding it hard to say your feelings with words.

“i hurt, i mourn, i’m exhausted… i feel far from okay in so many aspects i guess. but, i know i really am okay because the group’s here, you’re here…” the little admission made you let out a carefree smile, one which rick quickly returned & that warm feeling came back again like a magnet, pushing you too closer.

“as long as everyone is okay, then so am i”

your answer ignited a feeling in rick he hasn’t felt in a long time. it almost felt like lo—

“thank you for saving me earlier. that terminus guy was so close to—”

“hey,” he nudged you. “i got you, no need to thank me” rick assured, his tone sounding far from platonic but you brushed past it.

“right back at you” your chest started to getheavy the more you looked at him, making you feel nervous & warm.

comfortable silence took over the two of you until carl took judith from your lap, bringing you back into the groups’ conversations. you were surrounded by friends, but one of the them seemed to have the potential of being more than that.

5. early alexandria

alexandria was too good to be true. children could play outside with no hassle, the homes were more than luxurious, & the place wasn’t crawling with walkers in the walls. there was running water, soap, makeup, clothes, lots of food, & mattresses that weren’t filled with holes or mold.

it was paradise. but it felt almost like a trick.

after the lengthy interview process with deanna & all the orders on weapons, plus townspeople introductions, everyone was finding their own groove on how to adjust.

the first night felt like a shock to the system for everyone, especially due all the time the group spent on the road, having access to luxuries felt too weird. as the group eventually fell asleep, you stayed awake, staring at the ceiling until you couldn’t bear it.

getting up from your sleeping bag & carefully tiptoeing upstairs, you decided to explore the house for a while to escape your troubles. you went through the bedrooms, testing the lights, poking the mattresses & you eventually sat down on one to really test if it was real.

& it was.

the cushiony feel of the mattress felt like heaven against your body, making you lay down fully to really enjoy it. just as you sighed with comfort, you heard the door creak open, causing you to spring up & almost fall off the bed.

“it’s just me” rick said slowly, closing the door when you breathed out of relief.

“sorry, you scared me for a sec” with your hand clutching your heart, you brushed your messy hair behind your ears, like you always do, & patted the spot next to for rick to sit.

“what’re you doing up here?” he asked once he sat on the mattress, leaning his right arm back so he could turn his body towards you.

shrugging your shoulders, you played with the hem on the clean shirt deanna gifted you, “felt like exploring the place a bit”

giving you a tired smile, rick nodded his head, “not because you can’t sleep?”

“haha, no… definitely not” you replied sarcastically, hearing rick chuckle at your words.

rick thought you looked beautiful in this moment, seeing you in a new light. your skin was free from any debris & dirt, your hair was freshly washed & smelt like vanilla, you wore clothes that didn’t have any rips or thousands of patches—you looked more beautiful than he thought you could.

you thought rick looked nice all cleaned up, freshly shaven skin with no stubble in sight, his hair clean & not sticking down onto his forehead, plus his hands were finally dirt & blood free for once. rick looked nice, especially because you’ve never seen him like this before.

“i don’t know how long it’ll take for me to get used to you not having a beard” you said to break the silence, inviting soft laughs to break through you both as rick rubbed over his face again.

“god—i don’t even know if i’m used to it” he groaned with a smile, making your stomach flip in circles.

before you knew it, the space between you both was slowly dissipating; you didn’t realize your knee was touching his.

“you look nice though,” you complimented, eyes focused on the details of his face in the dark. “never seen you like this before… very handsome” rick hummed at your words, eyes raking over your face again before making eye contact.

“you look nice too… real pretty…” he trailed on. rick wasn’t sure what else to say to hide the fact he was at his breaking point. the magnet was pulling him closer, & he couldn’t turn away from it anymore.

you were hoping the lack of bright light helped to mask the way your cheeks were burning hot.

“do you think we can make this place work?” rick asked suddenly, switching the topic to something serious.

nodding your head almost immediately, your hand went onto of his. “i think so. you’ve led us through hell & back—“

shaking his head to make you pause, rick lifted his hand from yours only to grasp it, giving it a small squeeze. “no, not me—us… we… you & me— do you think we can make this place work… together?”

the reframing of his question made you wonder if your heart skipped a few beats.

you stared at him, eyes flashing “do you mean it?”

his flashed back with ease “i do”

looking towards your hand in his, your knee against his knee, the proximity between you two—

“yeah,” you finally answered. “i know we can make this work”

smiling until your ears hurt, you felt rick gave your hand another squeeze as your eyes glossed over, eyes not leaving his blue ones.

same old rick. same old feeling. that’s what it meant all this time.

“gut feeling?” he whispered. this felt right.

“yeah, gut feeling” you whispered back.

he couldn’t handle it any longer, neither could you. so he pulled you closer with his hand on your cheek & kissed you, slow & loving with no rush of what the next day will bring. there is so much pain in the world, but not in this room—not with him in this very moment as everything finally set into place.

rick taught you that home isn’t necessarily a place, it can be a person. & luckily for you both, home is wherever you both are, as long as it’s together.

[hannaxjo]

My biggest concerns on the live action is how they’ll be able to portray Toothless’ and Hiccup’s relationship. Since that’s kinda the main point in the movie, if they screw that up then that’s that. Unfortunately for them, it’s really easy to screw up (…even when looking at the sequels). The main thing with that relationship is that it’s equal. I think the easiest way to screw them up, is by approaching it as a human and an animal forming a bond. It doesn’t work like that, because as characters, Toothless and Hiccup are equal. It honestly should be approached as a person and a person forming a bond. Because for all the purposes of the story, Toothless is a person. He understands Hiccup, just as Hiccup understands him. And the reason why their bond becomes so strong - stronger than between any other characters, dragon or human - is because they are so similar. The reason why Toothless didn’t kill Hiccup is the same reason why Hiccup didn’t kill Toothless. Because he could see he was just as terrified as him.

So the story should be approached as two characters from opposing sides, neither of whom fit in with their kind. And then they find each other, and finally someone understands them. And this bond is what brings the opposing sides together.

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have much faith for the live action, but I do hope I’ll be proven wrong. The way to do that, is for the live action to show me that the change of medium can bring something else to the story. Because the thing about How To Train Your Dragon is, that I think it’s a perfect example of a perfect medium having been picked for a story. Those flying scenes where you feel like you’re flying with the characters wouldn’t have been possible with 2D. And in live action, the bond between Hiccup and Toothless wouldn’t have felt real, because they clearly don’t exist in the same world. 3D animation is the perfect mix of realism and non-realism, for a magical fairytale such as this to exist in.

That’s another thing I’m worried about. How they’ll be able to convince the audience of the relationship between Toothless and Hiccup when one of them is animated and the other isn’t. But that’s to be seen.

But they do need to do something with the story to show that the change in medium was worth it. A shot for shot recreation is just gonna a give a shittier version of the original. But I think there are ways they could manage. They could focus on the contrast between the joyful and the colorful with the more terrifying aspects of the story. To make them compliment each other. Because the dragons, especially Toothless, are scary. Like, there’s a reason why the Nightfury is so feared. That’s an aspect I wish they’d hone on. How terrifying Toothless can be. I mean think about the end battle. All that they threw at that thing, and it barely reacted. And then compare that to just one blast from Toothless. And the way they won, was by using Toothless’ skills against it. Silent, out of sight, and never misses. The only reason the Vikings managed to capture Toothless, is because Hiccup asked him not to hurt his dad.

So if they really use the live action medium, to bring out how terrifying dragons, especially Toothless are, then they’ll be able to showcase just how batshit insane Hiccup is for everything he does. And just how special their bond is.

And in turn, I think it would be great if they did the same for the Vikings. Make them scary, and show the audience why the dragons would fear them.

But yeah. We’ll see. It’s not Disney, so maybe I can have like an ounce more hope, but honestly…ehhh. I really don’t have a lot of faith. I don’t think the live action is necessary, I don’t think they’ll be able to use it to change or enhance anything. But, like I said, I do hope I’ll be proven wrong.

[mllemaenad]

The issue with reccomending people to the Wardens is that, unless you're already blighted or condemned for a capital crime... your odds of surviving the joining seem to be significantly worse than 50%.

Alistair says that he was the only member of his group to survive, and the joining at Ostagar had, depending on how you count it, either a 50% or a 33.3333333333333% survival rate.

Those are lousy, lousy odds, even if you are from the wrong side of the tracks. And if you're in your early 20s or late teens, you're probably still cutting your life short, and ensuring that you die alone in agonizing pain down in the deep roads.

It's just... really not a good deal for anyone who isn't already literally at risk of imminent death.

It's not really an issue ..? I mean, I'm not having an issue, and neither is Warden-Commander Brosca, since I assume this relates to my post about Seanna cheerfully recruiting everybody. :)

For a start. Eh. Honestly, trying to work out how dangerous the Joining should be is a mug's game. I accept your examples, but I could just as easily counter that in Awakening five of six companions come through it just fine (Six of seven? Are we counting Justice, since Kristoff survived his Joining?).

If you recruit Loghain to the Wardens, he's fine. If you send Bethany or Carver to the Wardens, they are fine. If you send Blackwall to become a proper Warden, he is just fine.

Honestly, how dangerous the Joining is just seems to be related to how interesting you are. The deaths of all possible recruits but the Hero of Ferelden and Alistair occur because it is imperative that there be functionally no Wardens left – so there can be no more youngsters than that for Duncan to protect. The Awakening companions are mostly fine because we need a new party for a new adventure, so we can't just keep killing off candidates for hours.

I realise that's the most Doylist viewpoint possible, but honestly it's just not worth worrying about. Does the Joining carry with it a risk of death? Absolutely! Do I need to consider it so very risky that one should never offer it to anyone? Nah. It has its share of "everybody lives" scenarios too.

But regardless – I said Seanna never met an apostate, runaway slave, casteless dwarf or petty thief she didn't try to recruit. She's not recruiting people whose lives are going well. Even if they're not facing literal death right this second, these are all people whose lives are likely to consist of crushing poverty, imprisonment, torture, captivity, Tranquility, and an appalling lack of personal agency and dignity.

Are the Wardens kind of taking advantage of Thedas's horrific levels of prejudice and inequality? Yep! They're a bit dodgy, as many of the best things in Dragon Age are. Seanna takes her duty seriously and does her best by her recruits ... but she did get her start as the muscle for a Carta crime boss. Her morals don't have to be 100% pure all the time.

On the other hand – the Wardens largely do deliver on the promise of a better life. Yes, there is a duty and there are drawbacks, but they are one of the few genuinely multinational and multicultural organisations in Thedas. You see elves, mages and branded dwarves in positions of respect and authority. These people can marry, travel, own property, raise children if they manage to acquire any – and genuinely live their lives in a way they very likely would not be able to elsewhere.

How many casteless dwarves will expect to live to a ripe old age? Seanna didn't. There were so many ways she could have died young. And even if she somehow made it past forty (which is hardly old), she was terrified of ending up like her mother – or even worse, out starving on the streets.

Instead of that, and because of the Wardens, she is Commander of the Grey and Arlessa of Amaranthine, and she will absolutely keep telling just about any poor, down-on-their-luck bastard she meets that the Wardens have food and a steady pay cheque, and if the Templars or the slave hunters or the Carta come looking for you, you'll have dozens of your brothers and sisters watching your back.

[sakumasmut]

Enstars x Reader NSFW Month Day 10

Himeru x Bunny!Fem!Reader

late again, but I promise it’s worth it. Lily when you see this, hope you enjoy (and maybe be inspired to write a continuation wink nudge)

tags/warnings: breeding, vaginal sex, mating cycles

ao3

The coming of spring meant several things. Sunny days, floral breezes, gardens and parks full of color, and an uptick in sneezing from the unfortunate souls with pollen allergies (poor Koga was wearing a mask every time you saw him). For those with more primal instincts, the warmer weather meant it was the start of mating season. For the bunnies in Ensemble Square, it was time to either avoid contact with everyone and quarantine themselves, or get busy until all their cravings were satisfied.

You assumed heats were a necessary evolutionary trait thousands of years ago, but in the present day when your main source of stress was working an office job in a capitalist economy, your part-rabbit body throwing a hissy fit over not having a mate just made things even more stressful. The current situation you were in was a prime example of what problems the mating season could bring to the table, kneeling in front of a newer producer and comfortingly stroking their arm as they quivered in their seat.

“Stay here until the taxi arrives.” You spoke calmly to them. They were shaking and flushed red, not having expected to go into heat in the middle of work. “Once you get home, stay there until all the symptoms go away. Don’t worry about work; I’ll take care of it, m’kay?”

“Thank you, senpai.” They quietly sobbed, squeezing and rubbing their long ears to soothe themselves.

They were extremely lucky you happened to notice them hunched over in the hall and escorted them to a safe room before their vulnerable position attracted the wrong type of person. Mating season clouded people’s senses, you knew that too well. Married hybrids usually mated during March, to get it out of the way, but for single people, it was mostly just a waiting game until your body decided it craved a mate. You hadn’t gotten your heat yet, but you felt prepared to lock yourself in a room and call a taxi the moment you felt any sort of onset, to avoid ending up in the exact situation you were helping your coworker out of. For now though, you felt as fresh and (relatively) not horny as ever, and so said goodbye to the younger producer once their lift had arrived, escorting them to the car before rushing off to the meeting you were already late for.

“Sorry I’m late!” You quickly spoke as soon as you pushed the door open, the only person in the room looking up from the sound of your voice.

“Don’t worry, Himeru got your message.” The idol replied cooly, demeanor as nonchalant as ever. “The emergency situation you were dealing with, is it alright now?”

“Yes, yes, it’s all good.”

You were glad Himeru was an understanding person. It was a quality you liked about him, among other things. Maybe you were biased since you had worked with him for a few months on his solo jobs, but he always treated you kindly. You did notice he was harsher with his rowdy unit mates, but it only made you giggle more than anything, seeing him as the sort of person who gave as much respect as he received.

“If it’s not rude for Himeru to ask, what was it you were preoccupied with?”

“Ah, just some rabbit related stuff. You know how spring is for us.”

He frowned and knit his brows together as he looked you up and down.

“Producer, you aren’t feeling…ill, are you?” Himeru asked, “Himeru wouldn’t want you to be in a public place if you’re experiencing such symptoms.”

You flushed, realizing his misunderstanding. “No, ah, it’s not me! I was helping a younger rabbit who went into heat!” Being all red in the face and running into the room covered in sweat didn’t help with your case, as you could tell from his unchanging expression.

“Trust me, I would not be anywhere near here if my heat started! It usually starts pretty late in the spring, so I’m safe for a while.”

He nodded, expression relaxing at your assurances.

“It would certainly pose a large problem if it did. Though, if you ever find yourself in an unpleasant situation like that, Himeru would be glad to assist you in any way possible.”

“Huh?” You blinked at his words. What did he mean by that? Surely he meant that you could rely on him during emergencies, right?

“Now, shall we talk about your latest proposal?”

“Ah, yes!” You smacked yourself on the cheeks to rid yourself of those thoughts. “Here, I have the paperwork. Look over it and tell me what you think!”

xxx

You certainly weren’t lying when you said your heats came rather late into the season. People always complained about getting them early in March, but at least when they got them, afterwards they could go about their lives freely with no worries about getting sucker punched by their bodies. For you, spending a good two months worrying about the possibility that it’d come earlier was always a source of stress you had to push in the back of your mind, until finally it did come on a sunny May morning.

You woke up in a sweat, despite having taken a shower the previous night, and everything felt warm, way too warm. Funnily enough, you were meant to meet up with Himeru that afternoon, just as you did last month when you dealt with your coworker going into their own heat. You remembered what he had said about helping you if you ever found yourself in this situation, and thinking about the idol’s words made your horny mess of a brain wander to very obscene thoughts, which you had to smack yourself on the head to rid yourself of. No! You weren’t thinking clearly! You did struggle to understand what he meant, until you considered he likely referred to helping you with calling out of work and telling your clients you’d be unavailable. Having someone do all that for you rather than struggle with forming coherent sentences through a slog of calls sounded great right about now, and so you dialed him up once you managed to grab your phone. He picked up immediately after the first beep.

“Good morning, producer. Do you need Himeru for something?”

Just the sound of his alluring voice was making your body heat up. Stupid horny brain.

“Yeah, sorry this is sudden, but I need help with my heat.” You muttered, before realizing how it sounded without context and backtracking, “I meant—I need help with work, because I’m in heat! I need to tell my clients that I’ll have to reschedule, and you said that you could help, right?”

There was silence on the other end, and for a second you worried that maybe you had offended him somehow, before he responded with an “Understood, Himeru will inform everyone he needs to.”

You thanked him gratefully, and recited a list of people for him to message or call about your situation. That was a big weight off your shoulders, and now you could sink into bed and deal with your heat…all alone…

“Producer, can Himeru help in any other way? This time of year must be quite exhausting for your kind.”

Indecent thoughts of him came flooding back, of scenarios where Himeru could help you in ways your body needed the most…

“Perhaps you’d like him to bring you food and other supplies?”

“T-That’d be great, thanks.”

You hung up after giving him your address, and flopped yourself back onto the sheets, skin feeling sweaty and mind replaying how his voice sounded against your ear, wanting to hear it again after only a few seconds. The professional in you was already regretting saying yes to his offer, asking what kind of producer would invite an idol to their house in the middle of their heat, but the other part of you who saw him as a friend, perhaps a bit more, did really want the company. It would still be a while before he got here though, especially since he promised to do some of your work for you, and you wondered if your impatient body could even last until then.

A wave of desire washed over you, making you shudder. You tugged one of your long ears over your face, rubbing circles soothingly on the pink insides as your legs kicked your blanket off the bed. Your body was way too hot, yet no amount of ice would cool it off, only another person’s own heat enveloping your own would make it go away. You began to grind your hips against your pillow, whining into it, trying to pretend it was another person’s body—specifically a certain blue-haired idol. If you shut your eyes, maybe you could pretend he was already here in your house, comforting you with his presence.

You wondered how it would feel grinding against his thigh, imagining his yellow eyes watching you with immense interest. Yes, you could envision it so well in the blank space of your hormone filled brain. His hands would rest on your hips, holding you in place so you couldn’t climb off as you bucked against his leg. He’d see the wet mess pooling from your crotch area, dripping onto his pants, but rather than chastise he’d praise you, encouraging you to keep humping his leg until you came all over him.

You whined to yourself, the friction between your thighs and the pillow only making you feel a dull ache. You kept trying to chase an orgasm, anything to make your tensed up body feel better, but with only air for your cunt to clench around, you couldn’t bring yourself to. The buzz of the doorbell snapped you out of your daydream. How many minutes had passed? Were you so immersed in the scenario in your head that time had flown without you realizing, or was Himeru just that fast in getting to you? Your legs were shaky as you stood up, each step making your body wobble forward. You doubted you’d be able to leave the bed if you fell back onto it. You opened the door, and as expected Himeru was there, holding a plastic grocery bag.

“Good morning, producer.” His eyes scanned your form, and you did your best to stand upright without shaking. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I-I’m fine. Come on in.”

You tried to look composed as he entered, trying to keep your ears upright and hoping that he couldn’t sense the pheromones your body was releasing. If he could, he didn’t give any indication, expression as blank as ever while he placed the bag on your kitchen counter.

“Himeru admits, he doesn’t know much about your situation. But he tried to get things that could help.”

He took out some snacks and drinks, ones that you immediately recognized as your go-tos in the break area of the ES building. You smiled softly, touched that he would remember your preferred foods.

“Thank you. This means a lot.”

“It’s not a problem. Is there anything else Himeru can do for you while he’s here?”

He kept asking that same question, if he could do anything for you, and the short answer was that he could. But you were too scared to make the first move, in case he actually wasn’t interested in going further than your relationship as an idol and producer. Surely he’d cut ties with you if he didn’t mean it that way, and not seeing him again would hurt more than the rejection. Your body heated up again, as if begging you to voice your desires. You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from audibly whimpering, something Himeru noticed.

“You look quite feverish, perhaps you should go back to your bed to rest?”

“Y-Yeah, maybe I should. Let me just put these away first…”

You took a step towards the counter to take some of the food away, but immediately stumbled. You braced yourself for the impact, but Himeru’s hands moved quickly to catch you. One hand grabbed your shoulder while the other circled around your stomach, pulling you up against his chest. A moan couldn’t help but come out of you at the warmth of his touch, cutting through the sexual tension like a knife. You froze up when you realized what you did, the silence following making you almost certain he heard it.

“S-Sorry, I’m just so…” You stammered, trying to come up with excuses. “out of it.”

His hands were still on you, the mere contact making you want to collapse into his chest. You really didn’t want him to let go, you wanted to imagine his arms wrapped around you forever, so you wondered when you were going to be hit with reality and have his arms release their hold, expecting him to excuse himself and leave you to deal with your heat alone again. Except, they didn’t. They stayed on your body, and you swore he even pulled you closer.

“Meru?”

“…Forgive Himeru for being unprofessional, but I can’t bear to leave you in this state.”

You looked up at him in surprise, only now noticing how hungry his gaze was as his eye bore directly into you. He moved the arm that was around your waist underneath your legs to scoop you up into a bridal carry. All the snacks went ignored as he brought you into your bedroom, having decided to have a taste of something else. You squealed as he dropped you onto the mattress. You would be embarrassed by how messy your bed was if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest from the sight of Himeru leaning over you, face so close to yours you could hear his breathing. You truly felt like prey, his prey.

“If you want me to leave, tell me so now.”

His voice was husky, looking at you with a deadly serious expression that made shivers run down your spine. His presence was intoxicating, you couldn’t let him leave now. You needed him here, with you, to satisfy you. You kept your lips shut as you stared straight at him, and your arms uncrossed themselves from above your chest to rest on either side of your body.

“Stay. Please.”

His expression softened at your resolution, and he reached a hand out to stroke your long ears gently, gliding his fingers upwards along the fur. You whimpered, thighs squeezing together. Himeru noticed, and gently placed a hand on one knee to pry your legs apart. A wet spot on your crotch area gave away your arousal, and he hummed.

“Poor girl. May I take these off?”

You nodded, and he carefully pulled your pajama bottoms off, exposing your soaked pussy. He pressed a finger against one of your swollen lips, already glistening with your juices. You trembled as he brought it to his mouth, making eye contact with you as he licked it clean.

“So wet already…your body must not want to waste any time.”

He didn’t either, as his gaze momentarily left your body to focus on the buttons of his pants. Seeing the tent that had formed in the short time it took to bring you here filled you with a sense of satisfaction, eased that he was enjoying this as much as you were. Once you saw his erection pop out from his boxers, your body seemed to clench even tighter in anticipation, unable to resist the idea of having it stuffed inside you. Your instincts told you to get onto all fours, knees spread wide to present yourself to your mate, and Himeru cooed at your eagerness.

“Good girl. Such a good bunny for me.”

His words went straight to your cunt, feeling it throb even before his dick was anywhere near it. Being reduced to the bunny in heat you were, his bunny, just felt right. You weren’t a producer right now, you were a helpless rabbit that was begging to be bred. He parted your folds with two fingers, coating them with your slick and rubbing it on his length, lubing it up as you squirmed impatiently, your tail’s movements giving away your excitement.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I-I…”

Even now, when you were so close to what your body craved, your lips refused to move. He leaned in close to your ear, close enough that you felt them brush against it when he spoke.

“Do you want me to mount you?”

Fuck.

You whined, babbling affirmative noises as he chuckled at how his words left you quivering in anticipation, lifting your rear high into the air to ask him to take you already. The warm feeling of something pressing against your entrance followed. He pushed himself in slowly, much too easily with how wet you were. Every nerve in your body was focused on the feeling of his length sinking completely into your wet cunt, all the way to the hilt, before slipping back out. Even in your wildest wet dreams you never thought he would be making you feel so full, so complete.

The noises you made were all quiet, either cut short by them catching in your throat or muffled by the pillow you were burying your face into. If he were going any faster, surely the squelch between your union would make a wonderful sound, but at his current pace the only sound in the room was his breathing and your muffled whining.

Himeru’s hands kept your hips steady as he pushed in and out of you, each thrust making the butterflies in your stomach flutter. Being filled by him just felt so right. This was what you were craving, cock stuffed inside you, body weight pressed down to make sure you couldn’t escape. Yet despite how your body trembled, how your legs were spread so wide for him, Himeru was still taking it slow, trying to make sure he wasn’t pushing you too much. It was still relieving your desire, but the slow jolts of pleasure weren’t enough, you needed something more primal to satiate yourself.

“What’s wrong?” He hummed, rocking his hips back and forth, “Is Himeru’s little bunny still needy?”

“Hah~ Meru…” You whined. “Faster, please, I want to feel you deep inside me~”

Who was he to deny you when you sounded so desperate underneath him? He pulled his cock out almost entirely before sinking balls deep inside you, making sure to do it harshly enough that your toes curled when he did. A louder whine escaped you, and it found itself joined by more as he slammed himself into you over and over again. Your short tail brushed against the skin of his stomach, flicking back and forth with each thrust. He reached out to take it in his hand, and you mewled when he lifted it up.

“So you’re sensitive here.” He hummed, gently stroking the white under-fur with his thumb.

“A-Ah, w-wait, mmh~”

Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head, knees wanting to give in from his touch, but he made you keep your hips upright, your back falling to a downwards slant as your arms gave in. You cried out when the first orgasm of your heat finally came, and through it all he just kept fucking you into the mattress, his own grunts of effort filling the air as he focused on the feeling of your warm walls trying to milk his cock.

“Bunny, you’re so tight.” He grunted. “You’re going to make me finish, too.”

“Inside, do it inside!” You whined, pushing your hips back towards him. Being in heat meant you were the most fertile you could’ve ever been; if he came inside you, surely it’d end with carrying his litter. But instead of being terrified of the idea, in the haze of your heat you wanted nothing more than for him to fill you up with his kids, as many as he wanted. He seemed to hesitate, noticeably slowing down.

“I-Himeru shouldn’t do that.”

“Hah, Meru, please!” There were nearly tears in your eyes as you turned to look back at him, pleading. “Breed me, knock me up, just give me everything!”

Your voice was so desperate, your body so eager to take his seed, to become his breeding bunny…he couldn’t help himself, his movements becoming more erratic as he growled out your name. He didn’t seem like he was going to pull out anymore, that was sure.

You mewled as his cock continuously pressed against the entrance to your womb, as if trying to coax it to open a bit further for the oncoming delivery. You chanted his name, the only noise reaching your ears your pitiful “Meru”s until he finally let out a loud groan, eyes shutting tight as he came inside you. The warmth flooding into you made your body and brain equally fuzzy, leaving you unable to think as you both came down from your highs.

“Did that satisfy you, bunny?” Himeru murmured against your ear, lips brushing over them and almost kissing them. He was still inside you, and you were sure he could feel how you clenched tightly around his cock at his words, wanting to feel it grow hard again.

“My my, seems like it didn’t.” He tisked, lifting your hips up high and forcing your shaky knees to support the weight of his hips pressed flush against your ass with a half-hearted whine. “You’re making me work overtime, producer. So all I ask is that you reward Himeru appropriately.”

If the reward he wanted was to make you swell with kids, well, it was practically already fulfilled. After all, he wasn’t going to leave his bunny alone after only one load, was he?

[zieroses]

enda “rook” de riva

replay // shadows of arlathan + in entropy’s grasp

thoughts and notes -

shadows of arlathan

- “Solas can speak with people in their dreams, even kill them” he what? Since when can he kill them? What lore did i miss?

- They were evil gods who enslaved their people - how does Harding know these things? Lol is this stuff hidden in codex entries i didn’t read closely enough? Stuff Harding and Varric learned over the last 9 years? If so, how/why were they learning these things in their search for Solas when, in theory, the Evanuris being a danger was not on their radar?

in entropy’s grasp

- Upon re reading tevinter nights, strife is a completely different character. He was supposed to be chatty, smiley, and sarcastic, and notably did NOT have facial tattoos/vallaslin. Very strange, I wonder if this version of strife was not written by Patrick weekes. He’s also very monotone - no shade to the VA, but it was alarming to see the first less-expressive cutscene also paired with an inexpressive character. Gave me the worry that quality was going to go downhill fast after the introductory sequence to the game, but luckily that wasn’t the case.

- (Re: cutscenes - bioware games in general have 3 levels of cutscene from my observation. The capital-C Cutscene, the lowercase-c cutscene, and then the convo-cutscene, the first being the most detailed and cinematic and the last being the least. Speaking with Strife and Irelin felt like the first example of the convo-cutscene where characters just stand across from each other and chat back and forth. Which is fine but again, it’s that lack of expression paired with strife’s more monotone voice and bearing that really worried me for a hot second.)

- I do love Irelin’s design. i actually like strife’s a lot too; I just think he should be bare-faced like in the novel.

- bellara’s intro is also so strange. She barely acknowledges the gods thing. They tried a little too hard to make her quirky here. She grows on me, a LOT, over the game - they just frontloaded way too much of the super cute and absentminded thing here. I think that should’ve come to light after her introduction had a weightier heft to it. Someone also mentioned it makes no sense that she, without any questions, gives some randoms (incl. Neve if you brought her, who is Tevene) essentially a tour of what is theoretically some very powerful secrets. It would’ve been worth a brief scuffle with her, I think, and then a few lines of not just explanation, but hastily attempting to convince her you aren’t here to poach elven secrets or magic. Even a code word provided by Strife and Irelin would’ve sufficed to put to rest any concerns that never even reached the light of day.

- Ogre - i quite like the darkspawn designs, even if they’re slightly cartoonier than before. I do think it has to do with the fact that the designs themselves, with this art style, are more readable in general; i can pick out details on the types of darkspawn that I couldn’t before because of the more muted color schemes of the prior games. (I loved those, to be perfectly clear; i just like how clearly and sharply i can see what’s going on here. But i do think there’s something to be said about the cartoonish quality; there’s probably something that could’ve been done to make them slightly less so. I think they managed it with the blighted dragons.)

[tales-of-wocdes]

I am OBBSESSED with your story, it's absolutely interesting! To be able to play as a troubled—and more than traumatized child is kinda fun and interesting to play with, added with the mystery of the MC's past and what it correlates to the last interlude. Not to mention, I picked my MC to have fox ears, with Harvard commenting I could be from a beastkin heritage or a kitsune... Is that foreshadowing I see?👀

Or maybe not, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, either way. I'm completely hooked! But that just leaves me a dreading question, but may be necessary. If someday in the future, you'd release the full game, will it be payable? Do you have to pay to play the full game?

The game is interesting story-wise, one I keep coming back to in days and hours on end. Checking it out for new updates or trying out other options in the game, the mechanics are also easy to get used to, although I would have some trouble getting out of, for example profiles that are long since I play on mobile, and the writing is honestly amazing! It's pretty neat, and humorous at times.

But, still. I hope you succeed in this game and make it out of the demo, and I wish you goodluck! This game is really interesting, and i'd be a shame to end it so quickly. I also love how you at times interact with us users, and answering our questions, and also giving us some sneak peaks! Or more information. Keeps us hook, and eager to wait for more of your stories🥰

Anyway, did I ramble on too much?😅

Thank you very much! I keep repeating it a lot, here in these answers and in the comments to the demon, but it is important to say. Hearing that people like my writing and story is quite motivating.

The beastkin/kitsune thing.... maybe.... ok yes, that is a thing I have planned. I don't have all the details locked but I imagine that MC finding out that they have kitsune heritage happens when it is needed to happen (obviously a choice).

Now time to get a little real about my process and plans. If you would rather not see behind the scenes, I will cut this off here. Because I learned how to do it :D Also long ramblings ahead.

In all honesty, I get ideas while writing. Then I implement those ideas and worry about all the consequences later... A strategy that bites me in the ass quite a bit :D But I like doing it. For example what I said about wings in the previous post. Or the twins and Lexia interlude was not all that planned. I just started writing.

Of course, some of it is planned but a lot of it only comes to me while actively writing. This is probably why my outlines suck :D Maybe I indulge my whims too much, but I do sometimes pull back. Like having multiple heritage features did not happen... Even if that was mainly due to the fact, I am not good enough at coding yet.... Besides the point. Well I have cut some stuff! Like a reaction to meeting Havard where you just sort of squint at him... had no idea where to go with that one.

Now onto a completed game. This is such a far thing into the future, have honestly not considered it much :D This game is planned to cover MC from this age to full adulthood (or young adult at least). That is a lot of time to cover, and as I have said, I refuse to rush. That is a lot of words to write, code, and then edit. It would make sense to make it something worth money.

Yet, the world is something I have had in my head for years and years. I started writing this because I like writing it. I published this demo, because I wanted to see what other people thought of this story. If they like it too. I answer people with such long ramblings because I like discussing this world. I feel like this is the key. I like doing and sharing this.

Right now I am in a situation where I can spend a lot of time on writing the silver protector, and for the past two or so months I have spend most of my free time on the story. That is a lot of hours. This is something that I feel I should say: there will be a time when my personal life does not allow me as much time to work on this. It will happen eventually, though I am uncertain when. That will mean that progress will slow down, even if I don't it to. Until then, I will keep writing because I like doing it.

Of course I have considered things like a patreon or a monthly subscription on kofi or... boosty, I think it is called. Yet I hesitate. Why? Because I am afraid of this becoming more like work rather than a fun enjoyable past time :D Nothing kills motivation than not liking what you do, and things you like can turn into things you don't like... I know this quite well.

Then there is the question of what would I offer those who would pay to support this project? I like giving sneak peeks here to everyone which is a thing people like doing on their patreons right? Progress updates? I don't do those as often but I do them once in a while. Yet, writing this story is a huge use of my time. There is no getting around that truth either. Can I justify it to myself? As long as I like doing it, I think I can.

If I do start a patreon or a monthly subscription thing, it will be for early access to the demo. Perhaps smaller updates instead of full chapters. Then later publish to everyone. See, I have thought about this, and clearly do not like pay walling the story content itself. It would be possible to offer extra content or cut off something like interludes to use as exclusive content, but I don't feel like doing that. All of that is good and fine, but I want to focus on the main story, and if I do interludes, it is because I feel they serve some purpose. Of course, having something like patreon would have a benefit of having a "test group" that would perhaps report bugs and typos to me. Maybe. This is all something to consider and eventually I will need to make a choice.

All right, enough rambling about me and how my brain works. Thank you for asking, and for liking the story so far. I wish you the best.

Don't worry about rambling. I believe the above, and how I tend to answer questions I get in general, shows I ramble a lot :D And I have called the demo, my ramblings too . But what can I say, I like discussing and interacting like this :D

[kakiastro]

How will this eclipse effect you

1. Check the house Aries rules

Any planets in Aries will be heightened more but first check the house.

2. Look at your Mars sign + House it’s in

Aries is ruled by the planet Mars, so your natal Mars is getting eclipsed as well

3. Look at your 1h aka “Your ascendant”

Aries rules the 1h so you need to look there as well

4. Look and see what the current Mars transit sign is in

Mars is currently in Pisces. You need to look to see what the current energy is to help you add pieces to the puzzles

5. Look at the house Pisces is sitting in

Since Mars is in Pisces during the eclipse, this means your Pisces house is also effected by it

Example: this is just a random birth chart I created but we’ll call him Bob. This is just an example to show you how to analyze your own lives

Meet fictional Bob but he’s real in our hearts😅

1. Bob has Aries 3h with 3 planets here

3h- the eclipse can bring out themes regarding his siblings, his communication, his car, something happens in his neighborhood such as car accident or neighbors fight.

Sun- bob is shedding on skin, he’s leaving a lot of his past behaviors in the past. If he loves arts and crafts, he may be starting a new project. He could connecting with people at work or in town, maybe he decides to take a leadership role.

Mercury- he’s going to start being more careful with his thoughts and not let them get carried away. He may feel more bold about speaking up . He may get into an argument or have a tense conversation or his siblings do.

Venus-his self worth and how he views himself, also an old conflict with family or any partnership he’s in. He may have a new fresh perspective on marriage and relationships in general. His finances, finding new ways to make money. He could be relocating to a new location

2. His 3h planetary ruler (Mars) is in his 5h Gemini

This eclipse FOR HIM is very mercurial because his ruler and 3 of his personal planets have Gemini influence all over. He’s healing that inner child and starting to lighten up or he will be in the coming months. 5h is the house of enjoyment, fun and romance! He may start dating again, maybe he’ll write a book. This eclipse is bringing his creative spirit out

3. He’s an Aquarius Rising

He’s in his rebel era, not to mention Pluto is currently in his 1h as well. Now with Aquarius ruling the 1h, this goes back to what I said about connecting with people. He’s going to meet so many new people that can usher in a new perspective in his life. Aquarius is also about being themselves without worrying who likes it or not so bob confidence in who he is will grow.

4. Transit Mars Pisces in the 2h

First thing I noticed is his North Node. With Mars visiting here, Bob is feeling an intense feeling to discover what he’s meant to do and learn in this lifetime. He may be going through a spiritual awakening or had a “AHA!” moment or he will be in the coming months. He may make a living off of his discovered talents. He will be establishing new family roots.

This is just a small and easy way for those who are still learning. I haven’t even dug in deep such as aspects, decans and don’t let me start adding asteroids 😂. As you can see, it’s a very complexed and why it take astrologers son long to examine a chart

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

You seem to have anons who want you to start a Wales divorce watch. What I want to say is, do you think you’re being objective about H&M? I mean, I follow W&K so the things you listed as possible grounds for a “divorce watch” don’t even affect me, but it seems that anon thinks they are valid reasons. (not that I think W&K are a perfect couple. i could also be very wrong with my assessment of them as a couple, but tbh I just choose not to worry about it). So maybe there are some things that that anon and their other stans see about H&M that have them convinced H&M are very solid. I personally don’t know because I don’t follow H&M and don’t watch videos of them to see how they interact, so I can’t speak. I think it’s the same way with sussex stans and W&K, in the way that the sussex stans who wholeheatedly believe W&K should be on divorce watch probably don’t really follow them or watch videos of them and have only cherry picked particular moments or reasons to convince themselves of what they want to see happen.

I've never claimed to be objective about any of this. I'm fully aware of my preferences for William and Kate. I've said I favor William and Kate several times here.

That's why I don't use anyone's body language or day-to-day engagements as the foundation for my analyses - I actually use their PR and their media strategies for that foundation.

Because looking at body language and looking at pictures of events and engagements is that subjective and it most definitely is biased based on which couple or which person you follow. For example, if you like the Waleses, then you're not going to see their lack of googoo eyes at each other on the Trooping balcony as a sign of divorce - you're probably going to see that as "they're at work and they've shown consistently that they don't PDA at work so nothing to see." But if you don't like the Waleses, and you see how unaffectionate they are to each other at work (compared to the Sussexes who are always holding hands and gazing at each other), of course you're going to think there's something wrong in the Waleses' marriage.

That's why I say show me the hard evidence and I'll reconsider my stance on divorce watch. Hard evidence means actual receipts - their own PR, their own words juxtaposed against their own actions.

And where I stand right now is that Harry and Meghan have been telling us how happy they are, how together they are, how they do absolutely everything together (like salt and pepper shakers because where one goes, the other also goes), how their children are their whole world and yet...Harry's going on his 3rd consecutive week of being away from his family. That doesn't line up to what they've been saying since 2016. So clearly that's something worth paying attention, with some benefit of the doubt that it's really just another ordinary work trip because it's perfectly ordinary for madly-in-love couples like they say they are to spend a lot of time apart when one of them travels all the time for work.

On the other hand, there's William and Kate. They rarely speak about their relationship and their feelings for each other and they're consistent enough in their behavior after 13.5 years of marriage in the public spotlight that nothing they've shown us today is anything different than what they've shown us for 13.5 years. But if their behavior changes, if their PR and their media stories change and it doesn't line up with their actions as reported, I'll be right there with my popcorn paying attention. But I don't see that happening yet.

I don't think that's bias. I think that's just looking at the facts. This is the story that William and Kate have told us for 13 years and it's consistent vs this is the story that Harry and Meghan have told us for 6 years and it seems to be changing.

And I do want to point out here that I have defended the Sussexes and I do stick up for them. There's even a whole segment of royal-watchers on here who think I'm a sugar because I stuck up for Meghan's right to call Archie a POC and they hated that because in their view, you either hate Meghan to your very core or you're a sugar.

I know I have a lot of new followers and my posts are probably showing up for people who have no idea who I am. While I don't expect them to read up on everything in my archive, I do want to make it very clear that I'm not ride or die for anyone. I prefer the Waleses but that doesn't mean I'm blind to their own PR or their own body language or their own behavior and actions. It just means I need more proof that things aren't what they seem because I've been watching them for 20 years and that's a hard habit to shake.

[qsmp-yaoi-island]

I'll say the admins' decision that purgatory 2 is as canon "as the ccs want it to be" is awful and going to cause so many problems.

I think it's perfectly fine to have CCs choose to be out of character for their own lore because then they don't have to commit to rp all the time, but you absolutely cannot do this with the MAIN plot of the story. One of the main reasons is that not everyone will pick and choose what's the same as canon.

A perfect example is just a few days ago, Phil was involved in a main story point of protecting Luffy who escaped. Luffy told Phil that he was looking for Tubbo/Bagi, and of course, because Phil was not informed of anything going on, he told them that they went back to purgatory. Even though Bagi and Tubbo said their purgatory isn't canon. So now imagine Phil is panicking about Luffy not finding the people he's looking for only for tubbo or bagi to show up randomly and confuse the plot even more.

I will say that I don't really care about how the story should be perfectly consistent because I know that's impossible, but it's more about how it's ruining the rp choices of others. Phil did such incredible rp stressing over how everyone left for purgatory again, but for them to show back up without a care or explanation? Undermines all of his emotions and effort into making it feel real.

Another point is how it's effecting the CCs efforts for consistency. Tubbo gets kidnapped IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS EYES, but logs in the next day and gets attacked by a code. So now you face the confusion of either believing he was taken and how that effected the characters rp around him, or believe that the code is back as a main story element. You can't believe both because they directly contradict eachother, so you end up wasting a good plot point for another. For example, Fit has canon separation anxiety and seeing tubbo go missing in front of him could have made for good character development.

Baghera was asked to stay off the server for the past few weeks because the admins had lore planned out for her. She expressed that she missed being on and seeing her friends but trusted in the admins that her return would be worth it to wait for. So some characters are allowed back and immediately cause inconsistenties but some people have to wait? It sucks for CCs like Baghera, Slime, and Pol who express how they want to get back on but are committed to their lore. But I also can't entirely blame the people who came back from purg2, even though I do think its a bad rp choice on their part, because the admins specifically told them they could.

Finally, the worst part is how it demeans the story being told. Imagine after purgatory 2 ends all the people coming back could talk about the hell they went through, the people they met, the fate of Cellbit and Baghera. But instead Bad's "1/4" came back and immediately told Pomme he saw Baghera. Isn't that lame? Doesn't that feel like a waste of good exposition? Hell even Foolish was there and just chose to ignore it because, hey, there's no canon reason he should know that!

That's the problem now is that no one knows what to tell eachother anymore, because it will only be inconsistent with what others are saying or doing. The stories is slowly losing its integrity because it's doesn't know what is important to take seriously anymore. Should you worry about the code attacks? I don't know, it happened to someone who wasn't even technically there. Hey I saw this missing person but I'm also supposed to be missing too, so should you even believe me?

It's confusing, it messy, and it will absolutely ruin story lines down the road.

I love the story of the QSMP. It's what drew me into the server and made me love it ever since, and to see it get pushed aside for a competitive event really sucks. With the way the server has been so rp and lore dependent for the last nine months, it just feels so strange for it to not be the focus anymore. Purgatory was fun, Purgatory 2 looks even better, but I would not trade them for the fandom toxicity, story inconsistency, or divided attention on gameplay it created.

I know with time the story will pick up again, people will return, and it'll be well throught out and planned again. I just think it's important to be critical of these decisions now so they don't get repeated in the future. If there ever is a Purgatory 3 or some other event, all I would hope for is that it has a clear and defined plot revelvancy so you don't have to scramble to tie up all the loose ends later.

[siampie]

Finding You||Chapter 8

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings/tags: Fluff and a hint of angst

A/N: Enjoy this chapter, you guys. Comments and reblogs are always welcomed, greatly advised and strongly appreciate.

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@flowher

Dividers by @cafekitsune

You both shared breakfast in the early hours of morning, both basking in the afterglow of the previous night. Enjoying the small bubble you had created for yourself for as long as you could. For a few hours, the outside world didn’t exist. Your families, your own issues ceased to exist. It was a brief moment of respite before reality would ultimately come crashing down.

You walked him to the door, “can’t you stay a little longer?”

“Wish I could but Frank called for a meeting,” Michael said, his hands taking a hold of your hips. “Got to deal with all the shite we just started. I’ll come find you as soon as I can, yeah?”

You nodded, “okay.” You slid your hands up his arms; to cup his face and you pressed your lips to his. In a soft kiss at first, his tongue had demanded entrance and quickly the kiss turned heated. As though the fire burning within you could not be put out. You moaned into his mouth when his right hand slid around your waist, and over your ass. Palming you through your sleeping shirt. You instinctively pressed your hips into his, feeling his half-hardened cock through his jeans. Your arms slid around his shoulders.

He pulled away, reluctantly, bringing his forehead to yours, “let’s not start something we can’t finish, Pet,” he panted out.

You let out a small laugh, sucking in your lips, “you’re right, let’s not.”

He smiled down at you, before leaning for another kiss, his hand squeezing your ass gently before letting go of you. You closed the door behind him, thinking about ways to busy your day before you could see him again.

You were elated, more than you’d ever felt before. After confessing your feelings for each other, you both decided to give it a go. To try and see where would this relationship go. It was probably unwise to start something new with Michael Kinsella of all people. Especially now that he had a bounty on his head. Now that he was a target, a man to be taken down. His family was now at war with Eamon Cunnigham. You were not stupid. You knew how dangerous this could be. How dangerous it truly was. Any man with a gun in Dublin, greedy for money or trying to make a name for themselves, would come looking for any of the Kinsellas and more so for Michael.

You were aware of how dangerous it was to start a new relationship with Michael. And yet—you couldn’t care less. No matter how dangerous or unwise it might be, you thought—you were convinced that it was worth the risks.

There was a freedom that came with your father’s death. Regretfully. You loved the man but you never felt as though you could be free for as long as he was alive. There was a responsibility and guilt that came with being the first-born daughter. Constant worries that you were not doing enough, slaving away to make sure the house was cleaned, that food was prepared. And on top of it all, you had to be an example for your younger siblings. You were raised to be strong and self-reliant which led you to feel lonely and isolated.

Your loneliness and isolation had slowly disappeared since you’d moved to Dublin. It first started with Birdy. The woman was sweet on you, always making sure that you were taken care of. She, too, was the first-born daughter of her family and naturally, she had taken on the part of the nurturing caregiver. It was in her nature. You were kindred spirits.

Although, afraid at first, you couldn’t help but take a liking in her. She was caring and took you under her wing pretty quickly. Making you feel less lonely and isolated.

And then came Michael.

There was a deep connection between the both of you. You couldn’t deny it, even if you tried. You both found solace in each other’s arms. You found peace and safety in his arms.

You felt understood in ways you had never been before. Although, a criminal, you had more in common with him than you had with anyone you’d met before. And maybe that was why it had been so easy to fall into bed with him. So easy to open yourself up to this man.

There was no judgment. Only understanding.

You couldn’t help the permanent smile on your face. Even if you tried.

It was crazy to think that you had to come to Dublin to find this level of understanding. To feel this deep connection with someone. You would think that moving to another country would isolate you more than anything. And yet.

You felt freer. More connected. Less lonely and isolated.

Free of this martyrdom that had been plaguing you for most of your life, you weren’t burdened by the constant worry of your family not being able to function without you anymore. The constant responsibility of pleasing and appeasing were no longer your cross to bear.

There was a true freedom that came with stepping out of that martyrdom of being the eldest daughter. To be able to let go of pressures and responsibilities, and all of the resentment and blame that often came with it.

It was still hard for you to do as much. There are things that were inherently ingrained in you; work hard, cater to everyone’s feelings, to people please. Those were things that you couldn’t just let go of. It was hard to.

But eventually, one day, you hoped you would get there.

Hair slightly damp from your recent shower, you opened your door to a smiling Birdy. She greeted with a wide smile as usual, and a plate.

“You know you don’t have to do this,” you told her as she followed you inside. “Especially, with everything that you have going on.”

“’S no trouble, really,” she waved you off. “Like takin care of ya, Pet.”

“And I appreciate it,” you smiled softly. “Tea?”

She nodded, “yeah,” and sat down at your small kitchen table. “You and Mikey are getting close,” she stated.

Caught off guard, you froze for a moment. Your heart started racing underneath your ribcage. As though you had been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. Bracing yourself for blame, perhaps, or something more.

You cleared your throat, and stuttered, “yeah—we—uh—we got to know each other a little.” Heat creeping up your face and neck. “He’s—a—huh—he’s been—very good to me,” you turned around to face her. “It doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“Not at all, dear,” Birdy stood up and walked up to you. She tucked your hair behind your ear, “I’m glad you and Mikey are gettin’ close to each other.” Your eyes roamed over her face, a soft and tender smile making its way onto her face, “I’ve seen how happy you’ve been makin’ Mikey. How happy he’s been makin’ you.”

“Yeah,” you huffed out a laugh. “He does. He—uh—we understand each other a lot, I guess. Makes it easy to get close.”

“He cares ‘bout ya.”

“I care about him too.”

“Good,” Birdy hummed happily.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” You questioned, “whatever it might be. It doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“It doesn’t bother me, pet,” Birdy patted your cheek softly. “And I’ll make sure to keep the others in line, if I have to.”

“I bet they won’t be as happy as you—when—” you sighed, “—once they know about it.”

“Don’t worry about it, dear,” she reassured you. “I’ll handle it.”

You weren’t worried about the others. Neither were you in a rush to meet any of them, really. You were perfectly fine with keeping your relationship with Michael as far away as possible from the rest of them. You weren’t fool enough to think that they won’t find out about it. Or want a say in it. But you’d rather face them further down the line.

You locked your door behind as you left the safety of your home. Your eyes inevitably drifting to Michael’s home. He had not come back yet. You’d figured he must be still dealing with the consequences of Caolan Moore’s death. They were probably getting everything in order, organizing themselves and their business. You didn’t know exactly, and you wouldn’t ask.

Walking down your street, you noticed the guards’ car that sat at the end of it. Reality was slowly crashing down on you. Those were the things you would have to live with. These were the sorts of things that the Kinsellas would bring to your life.

Could you live with this?

Strolling down the streets of Dublin, enjoying your lazy day, you had pushed all thoughts of your mother in the dark corner of your mind. Where she truly belonged. You had almost forgotten her and everything that came with her. The dread in the pit of your stomach, the tension in your shoulders, the irregular beating of your heart, the shortness of your breath. Those were the things you always seemed to feel when she was in your life. Her presence burdened you with dread and anxiety.

It was so easy for her to make you feel this way. And you hated it. You hated how much power she had over you.

When thoughts of her came to your mind, and you inevitably tried to remember her features, it was fuzzy. Always. You couldn’t remember how her nose curved, or if she had moles on her face. Or how big her eyes were, or even what her smile looked like. You couldn’t remember any of those things.

And yet—

Why, while you were there, rooted to your spot in the middle of the crowd, across the street, did you recognize her so easily? Before you could even catch a glimpse of her face, why did you know it was her? Like a rock, your heart dropped. The wind got knocked out of you. You should be moving. Run away. You didn’t want her to see you. You didn’t want her to know you were there.

But you couldn’t.

It was your mother. She was right across the street. And after so many years of not seeing her, it felt like a miracle to have her within reach. You weren’t going to reach out to her. But you wanted to.

Your breath hitched in your throat when her eyes locked onto yours. And in a moment of panic, you fled.

Your mother was in Dublin.

Like a freight train, reality just crashed into you.

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