#but like i do feel like i put work into it. effort! and i LEARNT things. for sure!!!!!

[nausicaaandhermouth]

The Healer

masterlist

viktor x anhedonic!reader [1.4k][AO3]

cw: implied/referenced depression, suicide, suicidal ideation, self harm

summary: Anhedonia set in and the idea of exiting life's stage became all the more appealing. But you've heard about The Healer and perhaps he can save you.

tags: gn reader, S2 Viktor, post-Act 1, anhedonia, angst, depression, suicide, SI, SH, viktor gardening?, reader's just admiring him atp, not betad, not encouraging anybody to join any cult

a/n: idk if vik's abilities extends to making plants appear but for this pretend it does

if you're unfamiliar with what anhedonia is, it's a symptom of a larger condition (can be depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, more), characterised by the inability to experience physical and/or social pleasure. makes existing difficult, like you're dragging so much pointless weight and everything feels high effort, so what's the point.

just a brief description (based on what i've learnt from it in research and experience), so i encourage learning more to get it more in depth if it interests you or sounds too familiar.

You prayed for an easy coax out of the darkness.

The little home of scrap fabric and heartbroken brick you built throughout the years was becoming more and more dilapidated, though its original state had never been of full health to begin with. And like it, your body’s ridges became prominent, visited by unexplained bruises, warmed by the thickened hair on your skin, and yet living on had always been the only option you saw—no, the only option you allowed.

You’d breathed long enough to outlive many of those around you. Whether it was becoming grey-lunged corpses, enforcer punching bags, or a Promenade diver, everybody knew somebody who, sooner rather than later, knelt to kiss Death’s feet. Surrendered. Be it by their own or another’s will.

Then it fell upon you: the swole blanket of indifference, of apathy. It cloaked your mind, buried your defences that was defiance, which had been the only source of survival you’d had left. But snuffed out now.

And how easy it is to think of self-inflicted inexistence when it seems nothing else matters.

Oblivion would whisper in the corner, a demented, deformed dog snarling yet begging your hand’s comfort. Come to me. And you can’t find good reason as to why you shouldn’t.

This… healer—a man whose touch could gild any man’s sick and bestow him a new life, a new body, a new mind—you’re not sure when he arrived. But the whispers morphed to murmurs which morphed to rumours and unfolded itself into your side of the city’s underbelly.

Was he the answer to your prayer?

You made journey to the place you’d heard he’d made camp, and it unfurled before you and stole all expectation and put them to rest. Because for once, the Sumps had colour, had life.

At the centre stood a strange, globular… building? Just like stained glass, its surface was of mute Spring colours, translucent, swirling lattice-work reminiscent of butterfly wing patterns.

He’s a tall thing. A beautiful thing. His metal body cloaked, careful, and coded with grace. Each movement was deliberate, no gaze shared unintentional. How had he come to exist? How had this world birthed your people’s suffering but, as well, him?

You want to laugh at the sick irony. Whoever’s dealing the cards need their hands cut off.

“What ails you?” he asks, giving you such soft regarding you can’t help but be rendered speechless.

In truth, you’re not sure. Physically, you know you’re lacking, but so was everyone so why are you different? In your head there sits a temptress, attempting to lure you to the edge of buildings or blades, but she had no name. No one speaks of her.

The healer tilts his head, seeming to take a better look at you. He looks so kind. Such eyes, opalescent, have seen suffering, and you know it.

“Life,” you give a one-shouldered shrug, smiling. “I… I’m not actually… uh, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” you take a step back.

What had been the point of this? Attempt what? Healing? What’s this man to do?

“No,” he steps closer, his voice swathed in a strange mechanical whir. “Stay,”

You’re sure that by the furrowed desperation on you, it convinces something inside him, as he turns and beckons you with a nudge of his head. So you follow.

Each step he makes creates a heavy thunk beneath him, and though you don’t feel its impact, merely by sound you feel the weight of him. How had he acquired such a body? Modded fingers, let alone limbs, cost years of your wages—you can’t imagine how much his entire body might have cost.

“I can feel something plaguing you,” he begins, shifting slightly to catch a look of you.

You scoff but it doesn’t quite match your face.

“Then what brought you to me?” he shrugs and looks away, leading you to the side of the Sumps where a clear plain rolled out.

You watch as he kneels and reaches for the soil, taking it between metal fingers.

“I’m not sure,” you kneel beside him, shoulders bunching up. “What are you doing?”

He hums, smoothing the ground and creating indents, “I’m assessing,”

You lean forward, folding your arms and hanging your head to look at him.

The metal frames his face, just barely hidden by chestnut waves, curling beneath the jaw and around the ear.

He’s got a rather angular beauty to him, something belonging to scrutiny and studiosity. Even his strong brows follow theme, arched forward in a focused furrow, over narrowed eyes homing iridescent irises. You’re not sure if he’s from this world. Or if the world was gifted him.

Your attention trails back to his hand, and he digs his fingers beneath the soil. Then, hand glowing beneath the metallic muscles, the ground is imbued with a light, where then verdant stems spring alive.

You choke back a gasp, glancing about as the spindly bodies uncurl and reveal yellow petals. Roses?

Whipping back to him, you take note of the glow leaving his eyes, shock threading through your system.

When you glance back at the flowers, now surrounding the both of you, you can’t help but think: logically, how you might have reacted would be with pleasant surprise, glee, even.

Such occurrences, the arcane or a mere flower field, was a coveted sight, and without a doubt you would have felt the surge of optimism. But instead nothing happens. Instead it’s unmet anticipation and expectation sitting at your belly, pooling into grey disappointment.

It’s when you look back to the healer that you realise this disappointment must have shown on your face. He inclines his head so slightly, blinks, as if saying I understand. And he smiles. He smiles and it’s the gentlest thing ever given to you to hold and witness.

You want to crumple, to lay graves for your limbs and disassemble each part that ever dared to exist only to suffer. There used to be anger, and at the very least there was indignation. At topside for their neglect, your parents or finding each other, for finding something beyond the misery and creating you. Where had all such righteous resentment gone?

“Viktor,”

You look up to see the healer’s hand stretched out, asking for yours in return. And you oblige, shaking it gently, before pulling away only to be held with soft restraint.

“You are welcome to stay,” his voice becomes tender, becomes more human almost, aimed purely for your audience. “Even if what torments is not outright seen. I welcome all,”

Your breath comes out long, carrying with it the tired days in the dark. The healer… Viktor makes no acknowledgement of this but just another observant blink, the corners of his mouth slightly tightening.

“Wasn’t gonna die or anything,” you joke, flattening your lips and hoping it registers as a smile, however trying it may appear.

“Eh,” Viktor shrugs, turning his attention to your hand and turning it about as if trying to see new angles. “A slow death is still a death,”

This makes you frown. Why has he assumed? But why is he right?

“The slower it is, the more painful, I think,” he remarks, but he seems almost far away. “As you watch what is left of you wither, and all you can do is… hm, watch,”

Then you understand. Something in your chest tightens as you take in once again all this stranger is. “You’re well-acquainted,” you note, coming out barely as breath and observation, spoken clearer by the narrowing of your eyes than your own voice.

He looks at you again, and something’s changed. His eyes? It seems. There’s something more amber about them, more grounded in this singular hue. “My longest companion,”

You hum, nodding.

There’s a safety in knowing you’re understood, even if they’re not able to fix you. It cloaks you warmer than summer, than any consolation offered in pity—he understands. And perhaps not the very same that brandishes you, but in some aspect he knows.

Which is what makes you ask, “Can you fix me?”

His eyes resume that pearl sheen once again and you’re mesmerised, gaze flitting between each eye in deep investigation—tell me who you are, how you are; tell me how you’ll fix me. Like the field around, the sweet sunshine hues of the roses, to make your land more than just barren.

And he does. He raises his other hand, uncurling, coming to hover by your face. “May I?”

You breath sweeps back in and you nod, leaning forward and connecting his cold fingers to your cheek.

He notes you for a moment, saying nothing, doing nothing. It’s his gaze that makes you feel naked, removed of any pretence crafted carefully. But he shifts his attention and his fingers connected with your forehead, eyes overtaken by a white glow.

Your vision drowns in the white.

a/n anhedonia's been hitting me and this is the only thing i could muster to make so here we gooo. not my favourite, feel like i could've done it better but oh well, least i made something wahooyaaa writing is coping after all 🫵🏼😃🗣️

requests + taglist open!

[this is a reupload, i have no idea why the original post disappeared :''')]

[kamil-a]

RECIPIES!!!!

from Alice Archives - Green Book

1. BY PETER: foil-baked fish and mushrooms

Ingredients (2 servings)

Fish fillet - 2 pieces Onion - half Shiitake mushrooms - 2 of them Enoki mushroom - 1 Shimeji mushrooms - 1 pack Butter - about 10g Soy sauce/Ponzu sauce - An Appropriate Amount Salt - a little Pepper - a little

Slice the onion thinly. Cut the mushrooms into bite-sized pieces.

Spread out the aluminum foil and spread the onions across it. Put the fish and mushrooms and butter on top of it. Wrap the foil.

Put about 100cc of water in a frying pan. When steam comes out, put the wrapped foil in the frying pan and put the lid on.

Steam for 5-10 minutes on medium heat.

Add salt and pepper to taste, put on soy sauce or ponzu sauce, and its done!

2. BY BLOOD: tea scones

Ingredients (makes 8 scones):

Cake flour - 200g Baking powder - 1 tablespoon Butter 70g Black tea leaves (earl grey, darjeeling) - 1-2 tablespoons or 1-2 teabags Milk - 100cc Egg - 1 Sugar - 1-2 tablespoons Salt - a little

Mix the cake flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Mix thoroughly.

If the tea leaves are too big, crush it finely. mix with the mixture from 1

Mix the butter, egg, and milk. Little by little combine it with the mixture from step 2. Mix lightly, dont overmix!

Wrap in plastic wrap and let rest in the fridge for about 1 hour.

Roll out about 1-2cm thick. Cut to a suitable size or use a cookie cutter.

Put in the oven on 180C for about 10-20 minutes, watching it.

Put on as much jam, cream, and other toppings as you like.

3. BY JULIUS: COFFEE SCONES

Ingredients (Makes 8 scones):

Cake flour - 200g Baking powder - 1 tablespoon butter - 70g milk - about 80cc coffee - about 20cc sugar 1-2 tablespoons chocolate chips- 50g salt - a little

Mix the cake flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Mix thoroughly.

Mix the milk and the coffee, then mix that with the mixture from step 1.

Mix what you have from step 2 with the butter. Add chocolate chips. Dont overmix, mix it lightly. Wrap in plastic wrap and let rest in the fridge for about 1 hour.

Roll out about 1-2cm thick. Cut to a suitable size or use a cookie cutter.

Put in the oven on 180C for about 10-20 minutes, watching it. Your bittersweet coffee scones are ready!

4. BY ACE: Rabbit Stew

Ingredients (2 servings):

Meat of a white rabbit similar to Mister Peter - 1/2 rabbit Carrots - 2 White mushrooms - 10 Onion - 1 Dried herbs (bay leaf, basil, rosemary, thyme, etc) - a little Parsley - 2 tablespoons Salt - a little Garlic - 1 piece Red wine - 2 cups Olive oil - a little Pepper - a little Honey - half a tablespoon

Cut the rabbit into easy to eat pieces, submerging it in red wine. Let it rest in the fridge for 1 hour.

Julienne the carrots. Cut the onion, mushrooms, and garlic into thin slices. Dice the parsley.

Put the olive oil in a pan and fry the rabbit until brown. Add and saute the onion halfway through

Add the red wine, carrots, mushrooms, garlic, and dried herbs to the pot from step 3. add salt and pepper and stew on low heat for an hour.

When the meat and vegetables are tender, put them on a plate and sprinkle with parsley.

Add honey to the juice left in the pot and heat for 1-2 minutes

Put on the sauce from 6 and it's ready!

5. BY BORIS: Herb Grilled Salmon

Ingredients (2 servings):

salmon - 2 slices panko crumbs - 1 cup pepper - a little olive oil - 2 tablespoons dried herbs (bay leaf, basil, rosemary, thyme, etc) - a little

Pat the salmon dry, and sprinkle on the pepper and herbs. If the salmon is raw, sprinkle on salt, too.

Mix the panko crumbs and herbs. Put one teaspoon of the olive oil into your mixture to moisten it.

Coat the salmon in the panko crumbs from step two.

Heat up olive oil in a frying pan, then cook on medium heat until golden-brown on both sides.

It's recommended to put on as much lemon juice as you'd like. Enjoy!

6. BY PIERCE: Cheese In Blue Cheese

Ingredients (2 servings)

Your preferred cheese - 1 block Sauce: Blue cheese - 50 g Milk - 100cc Fresh cream (low-fat) - 100cc Pepper - just a bit

Mix blue cheese, milk and fresh cream on your stove. melt blue cheese while stirring

Add cheese and simmer. It will be ready in a reasonable amount of time!

*If you're a person who ISN'T Pierce, it's recommended to put the cheese sauce on spaghetti or gnocchi.

ORIGINALS:

[ent-is-indecisive]

Imagining edwin in my rock dance class and. It would be an adjustment but i think he'd probably come to enjoy it, especially the more complex moves.

[fireboltposts]

When SKZ finds your well-organized Korean notes

A/N : This idea randomly popped up in my head when I was learning my Spanish. Picture credit to the owner. Also this is the first time I've tried writing for all the members together.

• Where each member suddenly stumbles upon your neat and well-organized notes for learning Korean. They knew you were studying but didn't realise you went so far as to maintaining an old diary of 2013 for writing down random notes, swear words, grammar rules, slangs, idioms, vocabulary, tests where you had graded yourself with a red pen with marks like 16/20 or 19/25 and your signature like a school teacher and even some phrases learnt from the boys.

• Chris

He found your Korean diary on a random Tuesday evening while he was searching for his laptop charger. He wondered what on earth were you doing with a 2013 diary when he had gifted you the latest one on New Year's Day. Not one to read someone's diary, but his interest was piqued because of a SKZ bookmark hanging out of the diary. He opens it curiously, flipping through the pages that contained grammar rules, self-graded tests with your signature (which he can't help but giggle at), and even an entire section labelled "what Channie taught me", containing phrases and words he had previously taught you, that he himself had forgotten, which little notes on the side in pencil on how to pronounce stating that "Channie says it like this". He smiles to himself, feeling a surge of warmth as he realizes you're working so hard to understand and connect with him and the group on a deeper level. He chuckles at the part where you had stated that he says a word in a certain tone and he's a little surprised to see how observant you were to how he spoke Korean that you had noticed such little things even he didn't know. He is moved by your dedication and effort. It meant so much to him that you wanted to understand him better and also the rest of the boys.

• Minho

Minho's looking around your room when his eyes fall on a notebook open on your bed, with pages full of neat handwriting. Intrigued, he walks over and begins to look through them, noting how well-organized and thoughtful each section is. The color-coding in different color ink, the little drawings, and the way you’ve broken down each concept and it’s clear you’ve put a lot of effort into learning. He spots a few phrases he's used like "Don't be silly" written in Hangul. He feels a strange pride in knowing that you had gone through so much trouble of noting down things he has said and how observant you were to the other members' words and he feels a soft warmth on his chest. When you notice him looking, he gives you an approving nod. "Your notes are impressive," he says, with a faint smile. "You’re serious about learning, huh? I respect that." He’s not overly sentimental, but there’s a hint of admiration in his tone. "Just make sure you don’t learn any bad habits from the guys. I'll teach you the proper way to speak," he adds with a teasing glint in his eyes and you roll your eyes with a smile on your lips.

• Changbin

Changbin flips your notes open curiously and starts reading. The first thing he notices is how neatly you've written grammar concepts and phrases with example sentences using names from the K industry like "Changbin ate an apple", "Joshua cannot swim", "Jaejoong, go to the market !". As he goes through, he can’t help but feel a sense of admiration for your dedication. You’ve put in so much work, and it’s clear that you’re genuinely interested in understanding the language. He chuckles when he sees a section labeled "Cute Phrases learnt from Binnie," where you’ve written down a few things he’s said, noting them with little hearts and stars. When you return, he grins at you, holding up the notebook. "These are really impressive," he says, giving you an encouraging smile. "You’ve put in a lot of effort. If you keep it up, you’ll be fluent in no time!". There’s a hint of pride in his voice as he looks at you, feeling touched that you care so much about connecting with him and the rest of the group in their language.

• Hyunjin

Hyunjin finds your notes when you’re both sitting on the couch. He’s flipping through some things on the table when he spots them, open to a section on descriptive words. At first, he’s just curious, but as he goes through them, he realizes how detailed your notes are. You’ve even added pronunciation tips in English and marked down specific tones you’d heard him use, adding little side notes in pencil like, "Try to sound softer, like Hyunjin." Seeing his own influence in your notes makes his heart race. He’s touched to know you’re paying so much attention to the language, even noting his speaking style. There’s something endearing about how you’re working so hard to speak Korean well, not just to understand him but to match his expressions too. "Wow, you’re really serious about this, huh?" he murmurs, glancing over at you with a soft smile. He leans in closer, resting his chin on his hand as he flips through more pages, admiring your hard work. "If you ever want a study buddy, I’d be happy to help. Maybe I could teach you some new words too… you know, personal ones that only we would know or swear words, whichever you want", he winks, enjoying the thought of having something special shared between the two of you.

• Han

Han stumbles upon your notes one day while you’re hanging out. He flips through them casually, but the more he reads, the more impressed he becomes. Your notes are detailed, organized, and incredibly thorough. You’ve written down vocabulary, grammar rules, and even broken down complex sentences into parts. He’s particularly amused when he sees a section labeled "Funny Phrases" with things he’s said, complete with little notes like, "Han said this when he was being silly." He feels a warmth in his chest, touched that you’ve been paying attention to his quirks and speech patterns. When he looks up at you, there’s a playful glint in his eye. "I didn’t know you were working this hard!" he exclaims. "Your notes are so good; I think I’d actually want to borrow them myself!". Han’s admiration is genuine, and he’s a little flustered by how much he enjoys seeing your dedication. "Anytime you want to practice with me, let me know," he offers, giving you a shy smile. "We could make it fun, you know, with little games and stuff and next time I'll take a test and put my signature on there and an A+ and a smiley if you get it all correct", he said with a wink.

• Felix

When Felix flips through the pages and finds your neat handwriting in Hangul , he's charmed by how much dedication you've put into it, especially when he saw you noted expressions and idioms he used labelled as "Sunshine Lixie's expressions", complete with little stars. His heart flutters at the sight. "Your notes are amazing!" he says, his eyes lighting up. "It’s so cool that you’re learning, and it’s adorable how you even have a section just for my phrases." He pats your shoulder proudly, feeling touched and a bit shy. "I could help you practice anytime you want," he adds, his voice softening, secretly hoping to spend more time with you.

• Seungmin

Seungmin finds your notes by accident when he’s helping you clean up after a study session. He notices them lying open on the table and can’t resist taking a look. As he reads through the pages, he’s impressed by your organization and the level of detail. You’ve made vocabulary lists, highlighted grammar points, and even written down little notes to help you remember certain words. He brings it up later, saying, "Your notes are really impressive. You’re actually doing a great job, and if you keep at it, I think you’ll become fluent in no time." He looks at you thoughtfully, adding, "If you ever need help with pronunciation or understanding something or maybe adding some more to the "Seungmin's Tips" list, I’d be happy to help."

• Jeongin

When the maknae finds your neat diary that you've kept for learning Korean, he is a little surprised but also very impressed at you progress as the self graded "test scores" went higher and as he also remembers some difficult words meant for upper Intermediate learners you'd used a week ago while talking to him. He chuckles when he sees his own "Innie’s Words" section, where you’ve noted down phrases he’s said. Later, he brings it up with a smile, saying, "Your notes are really detailed. It’s so cool that you’re putting in so much effort to learn our language." There’s a sense of pride in his voice as he looks at you, genuinely impressed by your dedication. "If you ever need help, I’m here. I could even teach you some more slang, if you’re up for it Y/N ! And next time, I hope to see you score full marks on your little self tests".

A/N : Do like, comment, reblog and follow if you liked it. You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

[byeoltoyuki]

Try

↳ Pairing: Seungmin x reader

❧ Genre: rivals to lovers / romance / smut

❧ Words: +4k

❧ Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f)

❧Summary : Years ago, he used to be your enemy.

No. Enemy was too strong to describe what Kim Seungmin was to you. Your rival was a better term. He was everything you weren’t; friendly, funny and effortlessly brilliant. You loathed him for that. And yet, when you meet him again years later, you just can’t deny that there’s something else between you too.

❧ A/N : Honestly, this one comes out of nowhere. I just needed to write so here it comes ♥ Reblogs and comments are always appreciated ♥

***

‘Trust your guts’.

It was your motto in life. A simple rule. And you abided by this rule half of your short lived life. But not tonight and you regretted it. Deeply.

The annual gathering with people from your college was an event your closest friends adored just so they could show some idiots that they had succeeded in life. You? You avoided it. An event you hated with all your heart. You always found excuses not to go. Your life depended on it.

Okay. Not really. Not your life at least. But definitely your ego.

You hated half of the people who attended the event. Back in college, they were so quick to judge, to talk behind your back and yet they expected you to be nice to them. To them, you were just a cold, nerdy girl with no friends. Someone they could easily mock. They hated your attitude. They hated your looks. But they also hated how easily you beat them every single time.

They were wrong.

Yes, you were a little nerdy back then, but you weren’t a cold person, just shy. And you had friends. Not many, but you didn’t need many to feel good. To be happy. Those you had, stuck by your side and they also happened to be the reason you had finally agreed to come to the gathering. You just couldn’t say no to Hyunjin and Yeji, not when those two formed an alliance against you. You had no chance against them.

You sighed to yourself. Would it be rude to grab your purse and leave? One nasty look from Hyunjin, as if he could read your mind, and you gulped nervously. Apparently it was. You slumped further into your chair and tried to keep up with the conversation. Same boring conversation. ‘Where do you currently work?’ ‘Are you soon getting married?’ ‘I’ve bought a house!’ Why did it have to be a competition? Couldn't they just enjoy a nice gathering and the meal?

“Hyunjin, I heard you’re flying to Paris for the fashion week.” Seoah were almost drooling as she spoke to Hyunjin. You cringed. She couldn’t make it even more obvious that she wasn’t just admiring him. No, she had something else on mind. Too bad, Hyunjin was a taken man even if she didn’t know that.

He smiled into his drink. “Yes, tomorrow.” He put his glass back on the table and glanced smugly at a silently fuming Juwon who always hated Hyunjin’s popularity. “I was actually supposed to leave today, but I couldn’t miss our annual gathering! It’s good to see you guys.”

What a liar. You had to bite your lips not to laugh at his words.

Juwon cleared his throat and averted his attention on you. Hell no. “You look different.” For once, it didn’t sound like an insult but you were still weary of him. No nice words coming out of his mouth could make you forget what kind of asshole he was. And you had a hard time to believe that he had actually changed.

“Do I?” You did look different from the past. You used not to care about your looks. Who cared how you looked as long as you had good grades? You certainly didn’t. Neither did your friends. But it changed. Ever since you started working at your art gallery, you understood the importance of how others perceived you. You learnt to do your makeup right. You took care of your long hair. And you changed your whole wardrobe. You got classier. And maybe tonight you put an extra effort to look good. Not that you needed to impress anyone, but you did it anyway.

“It suits you!” Another woman commented, genuinely excited. You couldn’t remember her name but you thanked her with a smile.

Yeji eyed you from the other side of the big table, thumbs up, her eyes telling you silently ‘told you so’. You ignored her. Just because you could.

“I wonder with what kind of man you ended.” Juwon was too curious for his own good.

“Oh come on.” Seoah laughed as if the idea of you dating was ridiculous. “I bet she’s still single.”

How typical of her to assume. Not that she was wrong, but her comment still pissed you. Did she think you were still the same woman as back in college? Just because right at this moment, you were indeed single, didn’t mean you refused dating. You did and got tired of it. Every relationship you had, always started nice, romantic even, but always ended the same way: you breaking up with the guy. They were nice men who truly cared for you but there was just something missing.

However, before you could share a piece of your mind with Seoah, you were interrupted.

“Sorry guys, I’m late!”

That voice.

That stupidly, annoying voice. Your whole body reacted; you shuddered, unable to breath, unable to think properly.

Kim Seungmin.

Here came a man you wished you could avoid for the rest of your life. You knew, your hatred for him was irrational. Compare to others, he had never done anything to you. Seungmin never mocked you, never made any bad comments. But he was your rival. No matter how hard you worked, no matter how many hours you spent in the library, studying, he still beat you every single time. It drove you crazy. But what made everything tenths time worse was the fact that Seungmin quickly caught on your little game and it amused him. You hated him for that too.

“You’re right on time!” Juwon pushed a chair for him. “We’ve been discussing Y/N’s love life!” His gaze slid to you and smirked. “Or lack of it.” Yep. Still an asshole, you were right.

Seungmin quirked a brow at Juwon’s words. You felt his eyes on you. On your face, on your neck, on your arms. Your skin burned under his gaze but you refused to acknowledge his presence for the sake of your sanity.

Maybe a tiny part of you expected Seungmin to comment Juwon’s words, maybe even laugh at it. But he did none of that. Instead you felt him only closer to you which made your unease grow with every passing seconds.

“Do you mind if we switch places?” Seungmin asked the girl beside you, taking the two of you completely off guard.

You opened your mouth, a protest on the tip of your tongue but the girl beside you was faster. She hurried to leave her spot. Seungmin flashed her a pretty smile and sat right next to you. Despite you wanting to avoid him, now that he sat so close to you, your arm brushing his, there was no escape. Now that you were staring right into his pretty, annoying, eyes, you knew: you were fucked.

“As for what you said Juwon. Lack of love life?” Seungmin repeated his words. He moved a little closer to you and before you could push him away, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bringing you against him. “How come you didn’t tell them about us, babe?”

Loud gasps followed by whispers.

What.

What the actual fuck?!

If from outside you looked perfectly composed, at least to those who didn’t know you well enough, inside you were completely freaking out. His words made no sense. His body, his warmth that should have repelled you, felt actually nice.

Kim Seungmin was trying to help you. You heard him. You understood what he was saying but you didn’t understand why. You weren’t friends, not even close and you hadn’t seen each other for so long. I’ll deal with you later.

Something was wrong with you too because instead of pushing him away, you leant into him and accepted his help. “Because they wouldn’t have believed me. Should I remind you that we used to hate each other?” You reminded him and playfully poked his side.

Seungmin leaned closer, his lips so close to yours – you gulped but didn’t avert your eyes from his face. How annoyingly pretty he looked with his eyes shining brightly with mischief. Fine, he was helping you but he was clearly having fun too.

“Wrong.” He said and kissed the corner of your lips.

Gasps again.

Your heart skipped a beat. The corner of your lips tingled and you found yourself wishing his lips had stayed longer. What the actual fuck, Y/N. This whole night was a terrible idea and you kept making bad decisions. Getting drunk and hoping to forget everything seemed like a good idea right now.

“I never hated you.” He added and pulled back to face the others as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb at them. And at you. “What’s up?”

And just like that they started talking again. But you heard none of that. All you could hear was the sound of your roaring heart. All you could feel was the lingering feeling of his lips. All you could think about was Seungmin and this thing going on between the two of you tonight. ‘I never hated you.’ Fine. Maybe he never did but you weren’t on best terms either. You wanted to take him outside and talk to him. Was it his attempt at messing with you? Or was he really just being genuinely nice?

You noticed Hyunjin and Yeji staring at you, questions in their eyes. You didn’t blame them. They had to know none of it was real, they were your best friends. You wouldn’t have hidden something as big as dating Kim Seungmin from them.

“And you Yeji?” Seungmin’s voice brought you back from your reverie. “I heard your new song, it’s really nice.” You wanted to concentrate on what he was saying since he was talking about your friend. You couldn’t. Not when he put his hand on your thigh. Not when he made it look so natural. Not when, despite it happening under the table, it attracted attention on the two of you again.

It should feel wrong. In fact, you should be appalled by his boldness. You didn’t. It felt awfully nice. And right. Instead of pushing him away, you simply watch him talking. You didn’t want to admire his face but it was hard not to. Even if you weren’t fond of him, you weren’t blind. Kim Seungmin was handsome. Pretty eyes, pretty nose and even prettier mouth. Without realizing it, you licked your lips, wondering how it would feel against yours. Or at any other part of your body.

Oh my god. Did they put something in my drink? There’s no way I’m thinking about him. But you were.

Seungmin squeezed your thigh, the palm of his hand feeling suddenly too hot against your skin. He forgot all about his friends and leant closer. “If you keep staring at me like that we might have a problem.” He warned you.

Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t ignore how your face flushed. “When did you get so bold?” You whispered in return.

Seungmin smiled in response. A smile so beautiful, so bright, you wanted to keep it for yourself.

“Growing up does that to a person.” He whispered, his lips brushed your ear. “And also, you look really pretty tonight.”

You couldn’t stop the blush from spreading all over your face even if you tried.

Kim Seungmin was a menace. But a very beautiful and annoying one.

“Okay, that’s enough.” One of the guy groaned. “Get a room. Some of us are sadly single and you two are just disgusting.”

Seungmin laughed heartily and unfortunately for you pulled away from you. A tiny part of you was relieved for the space, but another part of you almost whined at the loss of his warmth. Yeah, there was something wrong with you.

****

Somehow you managed to survive through the whole meal without a fight, without people trying to mess with you. In fact, you even managed to laugh a few times and it wasn’t just because of your friends’ jokes. And maybe it had everything to do with Seungmin.

“Should I drive you home?” Hyunjin whispered to your ear, making sure that nobody heard you.

It was the plan. You came with them and you were supposed to leave with them. You glanced at Seungmin and you couldn’t believe yourself: you were hesitating. You could leave with your friends but then you wouldn’t be able to talk to him and have a chance to thank him for his help.

Seungmin was faster to react. “I’ll take her home. Right babe?” He grabbed your jacket from your chair and waited for you.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at his words, tempted to pull you back against him. You patted his back. “I should go with Seungmin.”

Hyunjin cocked a brow, surprised with your answer. You gave him a small smile and promised to text him and Yeji later.

Seungmin waited for you. Your body moved on its own accord. When you were close enough, Seungmin helped you to put your jacket on. You were thankful he couldn’t see your flushed face.

“There. All good.” He told you. “Are you ready?”

You were not.

***

You didn’t want the drive to your place to be awkward but it was. You didn’t know how to start the conversation with him. You knew nothing about this Kim Seungmin or how to deal with him.

“Thank you for tonight.” You said awkwardly without looking at him.

From the corner of your eyes you saw him glance at you. You expected him to make a comment, to make it easier for you but he didn’t. He returned his attention to the road. Damn him.

You sighed and slumped further into your seat. “I still don’t understand why you helped me.” This time, you looked at him.

Seungmin shrugged. “They were being dicks for no good reason.”

True, they were but it wasn’t anything new. Seungmin never stood up for you before so why now? “You didn’t need to pretend though.” He could have said anything but no, he chose to play your fake boyfriend instead.

Seungmin parked the car by the entrance of your building and then fully faced you. His eyes sparked with delight and something else. “I admit; it wasn’t my plan. But then, I had one look at you and couldn’t help myself.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “So you were messing with me.”

“Maybe a little.”

So damn infuriating. You hurried to unbuckle your seatbelt and opened the door.

“I wasn’t joking you know.” Seungmin stopped you with his words, realizing that if he wanted for you to talk to him, he needed to be genuine. “I never hated you.” He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “I loved how competitive you were. When I realized how clever you were, it pushed me to work harder, to make sure I stayed on the top. And maybe to annoy you a little too. I remember how you used to scrunch your nose whether you saw I got a better grade than you. So adorable.” He smiled at the memory.

Seungmin left you speechless. Why was he making it sound like he was actually fond of you? And why the hell did his words melted you on the spot? You needed to hurry up; grab your purse and leave this car before you did something unthinkable. But as you stepped outside of his car, your body froze, refusing to leave. I’m losing my mind, that’s it.

“Give me your phone.” You turned back and outstretched your hand. It was a bad idea. Terrible idea. But then again, it was just another one to add to the list of bad ideas. Who cared?

Seungmin didn’t hesitate. Not even for a second as if he had been waiting for this moment for ages. You refused to delve on the matter as you quickly saved your number in his phone. “Call me when you want.”

‘And maybe soon.’ But you didn’t say it.

***

You barely made it inside your flat – your phone rang with an unknown number. You stared at your phone, your heart skipping a beat. You didn’t want to think it could be Seungmin. But were you hoping? Maybe.

“Hi.” You instantly recognized his gentle voice.

You couldn’t help it. You chuckled at his eagerness. “You know, usually people wait few days to call back.”

“Open your door.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Too taken aback, you did as he asked without thinking. And here he was. “Did you follow me?!”

Seungmin smiled sheepishly and put his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry. I-“

Was he nervous? “What are you doing, Seungmin?”

Seungmin took a deep breath and took a step inside your flat. The right thing to do would be to tell him to leave. It was too soon and you weren’t in the right mind. You did none of that.

“I’m desperate.” He admitted.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he got closer to you. You knew that if you let him get too close to you, something could happen. And you didn’t completely dislike the idea. Seungmin halted right before you. His eyes blazed with so much intensity, you gulped nervously.

Gently, Seungmin took your hand and pulled it toward him to press against his chest. You jolted, surprised to feel his heartbeat. Wild. Strong. And his hand so warm. “I was a coward in college and missed my chance. I can’t do it a second time, Y/N. I can’t let you slip between my fingers again.”

Your eyes darted back and forth between your hand against his chest and his eyes. “Are you confessing, Seungmin?”

“What if I am?” He dared you, his grip on your hand tightened. Maybe a little part of him was actually scared of rejection. But he held strong.

You could pull away from him and forget his words.

You could, but you didn’t.

His words stirred something inside you. It made you curious. What if instead of looking for a guy that was nice, you went for the guy who loved to compete with you? A guy who, without you even realizing it, pushed you to be the best version of yourself? You had nothing to lose. So you did something completely out of your character. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body against his, feeling all of him against you. His body strong and firm against you.

“I’d say you need to show me just how much you like me.”

Seungmin growled at your words and instead of answering you, he claimed your mouth. So eager. So desperate. There was nothing sweet about this kiss and you didn’t mind. Seungmin poured years of frustration and need into the kiss. Poured all his feelings, his longing and you gladly took it all.

You moved through the room without breaking the kiss until your thighs met the edge of your table. You didn’t think twice as you sat on top of it, spreading your legs for him to settle against you. You felt it then, how hard he was, how much he wanted you. You would be lying if you said you weren’t wet and excited for what he could do to you.

Seungmin broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?”

You thought it was sweet that he still tried to control himself. That he still wanted to make sure you were comfortable with him touching you. If only he knew how bad you needed him right now. “Hundred per cent sure.” You confirmed and pecked his nose.

“Well then,” Seungmin’s lips moved from your cheek to the corner of your mouth, to your jaw. “I think I want a dessert.” He kissed your shoulder and gently slid the straps of your dress exposing your aching breasts. “So beautiful.” He licked his way from one breast to another – he took one of your breasts in his mouth, playing with you, teasing you.

You moaned softly, your hand nestled in his hair, you pushed his head against your chest. You were right, his mouth felt perfect against your skin and you thought it would be so easy to get addicted. “Touch me.” You begged, the throbbing between your legs getting too much.

“I’m touching you.” He teased, knowing damn well where you needed him the most.

“Seungmin.” You groaned and tug at his hair.

He groaned and bit playfully on your nipple. “Be nice.” With that he hiked your dress higher. He grabbed your panties and tore them off you.

You gasped loudly. “Did you just tear my panties?!”

He chuckled. “Sorry.” He was definitely not sorry judging by his smirk. You took note to make him pay later for it.

Seungmin spread your legs wider and licked his lips at your exposed pussy glistening with your wetness. “Look at that. Already so wet and I barely touched you.” He teased your sweet pussy by dragging a finger from your clit to your entrance, loving how you shivered at this simple touch.

“Seungmin, please.” You begged shamelessly and pushed your hips, needing to feel more.

“Do you want that?” He pushed his fingers deep inside you. So easily. In and out. Slower at first and then faster, watching as you threw your head back, your lips parted. Your soft moans filled the room and it was the sweetest melody to his ears.

Slowly, Seungmin dropped to his knees. Your dizzy mind barely registered what he was doing – he gently scraped his teeth over your clit. He knew exactly what he was doing. The moment he wrapped his lips around your clit, you lost it.  A loud moan escaped your lips. He feasted on you eagerly; his mouth, his fingers, he was slowly driving you crazy and you could only beg for more.

“Oh my god, Seungmin.” You mewled and ground against his face.

He was good. Too good. His mouth was divine. He worked his magic so well, you could feel your orgasm so close you could taste it.

“I’m so close. Please.”

Seungmin hummed against your pussy. “Come then.”

And you did. Your whole body trembled as your orgasm washed over you. But he didn’t stop. Seungmin kept sucking on your clit, enjoying how you writhed and tried to pull him away from you, too sensitive from your orgasm.

Seungmin straightened up and slowly pulled out his fingers from your pussy. He watched you, smiling lazily as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them.

“Shit.” You clenched around nothing at the sight. He shouldn’t be allowed to look so sinful.

You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into another bruising kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. “I need you inside me right now.”

“So bossy.” He chuckled, “What if I want to play more with you?”

You considered it for a moment. You wouldn’t mind him playing with you. But right now, you wanted him buried deep inside you. You wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember why in the hell you considered him as your enemy for so long. Wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember your name.

You reached between your bodies and started working on his belt and then his zipper. “You’ll have plenty of opportunities to play with me later.”

Seungmin arched a brow, amused with your confession. “Will I?”

“Hell yeah.” You grabbed his cock. He was hard and angry and dripping pre-cum. You salivated at the sight. Kim Seungmin was perfect and you were dying to find out how hard he could ruin you. “Please, wreck me?” You asked as nicely as you could manage.

Seungmin shook his head, laughing fondly. “How can I say no to you?”

Seungmin drove into you. One deep thrust that made you grab his arms, holding for your dear life.

“Fuck.” You moaned and tried to compose yourself. He felt perfect, stretching you, filling you just like you needed.

Seungmin dragged his cock slowly at first, letting you time to adjust and maybe also trying to compose himself. Despite all his talk about playing, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted to lose control and drive you mad. “You were made for me, Y/N.” He grunted, his control slipping little by little. “Fuck.”

“Don’t hold back, please.” Who cared if he ruined you? Who cared if you couldn’t walk tomorrow? You didn’t.

And he didn’t. Seungmin slammed back into you. His thrusts hard. Deep. Reaching all the right spots. Making you cry out his name. Making you whimper. “You are so fucking perfect.” He hissed as you clenched around him.

“Please, please, please.” You didn’t know what you begged for anymore. Was for him to go harder? To go deeper? To slow down? You couldn’t tell. Your mind was overwhelmed. Your body was burning.

Seungmin kept a brutal rhythm, his thrusts vicious, his grip on your body strong, fingers digging into your skin. It would leave marks and you could only wish for more. Let the world see that someone made you feel so good. Let the world see that you belonged to him.

His hand reached between your bodies and rubbed your clit. There was no escape. You came in a loud cry, wildly, explosively, your body shaking. Seungmin fucked you through your orgasm, his thrusts getting sloppier, his grunts louder, seeking his own release.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and claimed his mouth, swallowing his groan as he came deep inside you, trembling against you.

Seungmin rested his head in the crook of your head, panting. For a moment, you didn’t talk and savored just the moment and the press of your sweaty bodies. It felt nice. It felt good. Perfect.

With your orgasm came clarity. “Why haven’t we done it sooner?” You laughed.

Seungmin bit on your collarbone in response. “Because we had other priorities in college.”

That you did. “What a shame.” You sighed dramatically. “Guess we have some serious catch up to do, don’t you think?”

[system-to-the-madness]

Nothing Extraordinary - Dazai Osamu x Reader

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: (angst to) fluff Word Count: 2 360 Warnings: use of (y/n), mentions of dying (nobody dies tho), Reader is scared Dazai doesn't love them Summary: Even after a year of dating there are three words Dazai and you have yet to exchange A/N: Happy Birthday to Dazai, even though his birthday is already over in Japan...

A soft exhale brushed over your slightly parted lips as you pressed “send” on the file you had spent the past three hours preparing. A look at the clock on your desktop screen told you, you it was only half past three, but the sun shining in through the windows of the Armed Detective Agency had already a strong orange tint.

Absentmindedly your gaze wandered over to your boyfriend’s desk, finding it empty. You wondered what kind of unimportant task Osamu had found this time to get around doing his paperwork.

Confused you tilted your head.

Taking a closer look at his desk that bordered yours, it seemed like the files Kunikida had piled on it this morning had already been moved to the “outgoing” folder, which meant he had at least made the effort to shift them around at one point. But had he actually done them?

Reaching over to his desk, you grabbed a bunch of the files out of the box, flipping them open. Indeed, they had all been processed neatly, in Osamu’s handwriting. What was wrong with him? Usually he only did them when Kunikida stood next to him, threatening him with exposing some kind of embarrassing secret of his to you.

The first time Kunikida had used that threat, Osamu had thought he had been bluffing, and thus you had learnt of the time Osamu had been ‘stuck’ in a restaurant’s bathroom for an hour straight because the clearly labelled door would have opened through pulling, not pushing. Of course you had thought Kunukida had made that up, after all, someone as clever and cunning as Osamu would never- but a glance at your then-boyfriend-of-three-weeks had revealed just how true Kunikida’s story was, the red flare of his cheeks having glowed under the cool blue light of the office’s illumination.

Ever since then Osamu knew to take Kunikida’s threats seriously. But since the blonde skill-user had not spent the better part of the day standing next to Osamu, supervising his work, you couldn’t help but wonder if your boyfriend had unlocked a new skill that allowed him to finish his paperwork within the blink of an eye.

Or maybe he was sick? No, if he were, he’d have clung to you the whole time, whining about how miserably he was feeling. Sometimes he really behaved like a huge child. Why did you put up with him again?

Because I love him. 

Yeah, only that you had never told him that. You had been dating for almost a year now, and Osamu had as good as moved in with you, but you had never told him you loved him, nor had he told you he loved you.

Of course, you made sure to express your feelings in action and a few times it almost would’ve slipped over your lips in moments when you were distracted or tired, causing you half a heart attack each time you caught your tongue in time. And as hard as it was sometimes to decipher his behaviour, you were fairly certain Osamu was at least somewhat emotionally attached to you.

But there was always this fear.

This fear that he’d pull away the moment you expressed how serious and deep your affection for him had grown. This fear that he’d take it as the sign to draw back and drop you like he dropped all these girls he had been meeting with before the two of you had almost died in each other’s arms during a mission, before he had pulled you into his chest and kissed you as if it were the last thing he would ever do before both of you suddenly had the same idea which had ended up saving your lives, before he had asked if saving each other’s lives qualified him for a date with you. As if you had been out of his league before that, when really he was the one who could barely save himself from suitors who were attracted by his intellect, his charm and of course also his good looks.

Tearing your thoughts back into the moment, you shook your head and took a deep breath, focusing back on the screen before you displaying the confirmation that your file had successfully been delivered.

Another glance at the clock. 15:35pm. You reached for the notepad besides your screen and ticked off the report you had sent just two minutes earlier. The next point on the list was… annoying. Not difficult or hard, just annoying. With a small sigh you went back to work.

Your eyes were trained on the screen, following the signs that appeared while your fingers were flying over keyboard, focusing on the words you strung together. You barely noticed the hand that carefully placed a plate with grapes and strawberries next to your keyboard, white bandages covering the skin from right underneath the thumb until they disappeared into the lazily rolled up sleeves of a dress shirt. A moment later the hand disappeared and a second, equally bandaged hand placed a cup of freshly brewed green tea next to the plate.

This time you noticed the movement from the corner of your eyes, glancing at the already retreating hand, unable and unwilling to hide the smile tucking at your lips. It didn’t happen often, but occasionally Osamu would bring you snacks while you were working. It were little things like these, the little efforts he made, every day, small things that accumulated over time which made your heart beat hard in your chest whenever you thought of him.

“Thank you, Osamu. I love you.”

The moment the last syllable had left your lips, you realized what you had just said, and froze up. There were reasons why you had never told him. You knew he struggled with forming permanent, close relationships, with opening himself up to others. If you came across as too eager, too clingy, too pushy,… he’d leave faster than you could blink.

All you could hope for now was that he hadn’t heard you, so you quickly continued typing, having barely missed a beat in your rhythm. Exhaling slowly, you relaxed your shoulders.

He hadn’t said anything, so he probably had snuck away and not heard your confession, otherwise he certainly would have snickered, or teased you. Only for you to come home to an apartment later that had been cleared of all his things. No, he hadn’t heard you. Most certainly not.

You had already typed another full line before a sudden voice right next to you startled you into interrupting your work once again, this time making you whip your head around to look at the man standing next to your desk.

“I love you, too.”

Osamu’s voice had been quiet, his eyes not fixed on you but instead a drawer of your desk, before he looked up almost hesitantly. There was something shimmering in his eyes which not even you, as his girlfriend of a year got to see often; a vulnerability and hesitancy, as if he wasn’t certain he had just trusted someone with a secret they would mock him for. You could never help but feel unsettled when this shimmer glossed over his eyes: Dazai Osamu wasn’t the kind of person to fear being mocked. Not by anyone. Not by anyone but you.

It took a moment for his words to register in your brain, until you had processed them, and you couldn’t help the way your eyes widened at the realization of his words.

“Osamu that’s- that’s not what I meant,” you quickly denied, before noticing how it had to sound to him. “I mean, I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it back! I don’t want you to say things like that just because you feel obliged to-”

The soft smile that begun spreading over Osamu’s face irritated you enough to forget what you had meant to say.

Slowly he crouched down, placing his hand on the armrest of your chair and turned it enough to make you face him. Biting your lower lip, you watched him scan over your face, his hand subconsciously moving from the armrest to your knee. Warmth sept through the thin fabric of your fabric trousers, the elegantly cut kind Kunikida had advised you to wear when you had first started working for the Armed Detective Agency.

“It’s true though,” Osamu said, his voice so quiet that you’d be surprised if anyone but you could hear it right now. “I do. I’ve known for a while now. It’s not that kind of fleeting feeling of a crush, even though I wanted it to be only that. But the more I began to deny it, the more I realized that you have carved yourself into my heart and now it carries your name. Admitting it is scary though. What if you don’t feel the same?” He brought one of his hands up to your face, the backs of his fingers ghosting over your cheek, warm and familiarly gentle. “What if I allow myself to love you, and you leave, or get taken from me? To love you means to offer myself to the possibility of hurt and I don’t want to be hurt anymore. But I want to love you. I do love you. With all I have.”

Orange afternoon light caught in Osamu’s whiskey-coloured eyes, igniting his long lashes in warm auburn. Single hairs threw fine shadows over his skin, and all of a sudden you once again realized how delicate his features were, how beautiful his face, how warm his gaze.

His words echoed in your head, tumbled over one another, until you couldn’t grasp a clear thought anymore, so instead you bent forwards and gently touched your lips against his. The hand he had still placed at your cheek came to cup your chin, but he didn’t pull you closer, just held you.

Kisses like this were rare. Osamu was always excited and full of passion, and so were his kisses. And the times he wasn’t, when the shadows in the corners of the rooms got too long and deep, threatening to swallow him whole, his lips moved desperately against yours, demanding you to offer him a lifeline, a way out, a distraction from old memories coming back to claim him and pull him back into the dark.

Now he let the kiss linger, your faces close enough for your lips to touch, for warmth to be exchanged, for him to feel your pulse beneath the delicate skin of your lips. But nothing more.

When you pulled away after several seconds, you saw Osamu’s eyes had fluttered closed, and remained closed for a moment longer. While he couldn’t see, you instinctively darted your tongue out, wetting your lips; they tasted of him. Even such a short kiss was enough for him to leave his mark on you like this.

“Thank you.”

His eyes were still closed when he spoke, making you tilt your head at him.

“For what?”

“For making saying these words for the first time something… so normal. Nothing extraordinary. Just intertwined into our everyday lives. It lessens the anxiety.”

“I was scared too, you know.” You didn’t elaborate on the reasons. He didn’t have to know you thought he might not love you. But he was Dazai Osamu, always ready with another surprise up his sleeves.

“I know, my angel. I know. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier.”

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault, nor mine. It just was. Just happened like this.”

“I like the way this happened.”

When he finally opened his eyes, they were gentle and warm, and the way he looked at you was nothing short of lovingly. Yes, lovingly. And this expression had been in his eyes for a while now, when he had looked at you, you just hadn’t been able to identify it. How long had it been there already? You were not sure. Most certainly not from the beginning on, when he had ignored you entirely for your first months at the agency. But it had been there for a long time, longer even than you had been dating. You knew you had seen it in his eyes, when he had lent in to desperately kiss you that time you had almost died together. You wondered if that had been the moment he had realized his feelings for you. One day you would ask him. But not now. Now you just wanted to know-

You had already opened your mouth to ask him if he wanted to take a small coffee break with you, when Kunikida’s booming voice interrupted you.

“Dazai! File OS0346 are missing the sketches I specifically asked for!”

Osamu, still crouching in front of you rolled his eyes, making you chuckle.

“Kunikidaaa,” he whined. “Can’t that wait until-”

“Of course it can wait,” Kunikida interrupted your whiny boyfriend. “But then I’ll tell (y/n) all about the time-”

“Nope, nope, no, I got it, I got it,” Osamu quickly jumped to his feet. “Already on my way. No reason to destroy my good image here.”

“Which good image,” Kunikida growled, throwing a file onto Osamu’s desk as he passed it.

You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped your lips, earning a playfully scolding glance from your boyfriend, who slipped into his office chair, whining dramatically while doing so.

“Just so you know, Kunikidaaa, I’m signing out at exactly 5o’clock, and so will (y/n), and nobody will be able to contact us until tomorrow morning.”

Turning your chair back to face your desk, you glanced across the room, seeing Kunikida’s reddening face as he was staring daggers at Osamu. You chuckled again and tried focusing back on the report you were supposed to write.

Underneath the desk, something bumped against your foot and a moment later hooked around your ankle. Safe from Kunikida’s or anyone else’s eyes, Osamu had linked his feet around yours, shooting you a smile and a wink before both of you focused on your work again, the small contact at your feet a constant reminder that your lives were now inseparably intertwined.

[noctivague]

PAC: What do you bring to the world?

Today I wanted to make an uplifting personality reading focusing on the positive things you personally bring to the world as well as your strengths and qualities.

I will also finish with an advice on how to share it or share it better with the world, depending on the pile.

Note: I always write down the cards I draw. a "+" indicates that these cards go together; a "/" shows as change of row/question.

Focus on the 4 pictures, pick the one that draws you in the most and go to your pile. It's possible that more than one pile resonates. This is a general reading meant for multiple people so not everything will resonates.

Always open to feedback :)

PILE 1

Cards: The Shadow + the Temple + 9 of Pentacles / The Great Goddess + Truth + Acceptance / Navigating by the Stars: Follow your bliss + Growing Pains

You are someone with a great understanding of the shadowier aspects of the mind, which doesn't only stop to an understanding of your own, but extend to the human psyche as well. You are not only in-tune with what most people don't want to see or accept, which requires courage and resilience, but you are also able to make flowers blossom from the dirt, so to speak.

You are in tune with your inner voice and live in abundance of all the lessons you've learned on your path. I see all these events you've been through and all the effort you've put into learning from them and growing as a human. They are like little pockets of truth you've collected throughout the years, little nuggets of gold that make your soul rich.

You anchor that into reality, making a temple out of what you've learned through pain about yourself and the world, and draw a lot of strength that others can feel without even knowing your past.

It's like, by going through your own personal hell, you've managed to shine bright and light up those around you.

Perhaps some of you are advisors or speaker of some kind who actively help others, and for some of you, it shows up in conversations with people you meet.

And your strengths and qualities reflect that! You are someone who is able to transcend whatever struggle they are going through in order to find some type of divine beauty from it. You can see both good and evil in yourself and in what is around you, and you can see the importance of both ends of the spectrum, letting yourself dance with those cycles and finding harmony in what most see as only chaos.

You also didn't let your heart close from what you've endured and instead gained a lot of empathy for other people's suffering.

You are also someone to whom authenticity is not only important, but a major part of their personality. You despise lying to yourself. Not saying that never happens, but you always end up correcting the trajectory at some point. You have strong core values that you've spent a long time modeling like a beautiful and ever changing work of art, born from your own work. You honor this quality in yourself and you encourage it in others.

You also embody the quality of acceptance. You know being in touch with your shadow means you're going to find things that are ugly, scary or violent, and you've learnt to see that without judging it. You are able to accept and release whatever comes to the surface, surrendering to the flow of life. As a result you are not someone who judges people harshly for their humanly flaws. Again not saying you don't condemn anyone ever, but you understand the shortcomings and the shortsightedness everyone has to deal with, because you went through it so many times yourself.

And as to what you can do to share that better with the world, well, first I feel like most of you are already doing that by just existing, but the advice I got was to listen to your spiritual guidance, whatever that means to you. There is this idea that you are guided on your path and that, perhaps, it is time to not simply look under, but look above. Trust that your effort are seen and that you will be shown the way to make your qualities of use for others beyond what is already happening.

The last card I drew says to keep walking on that self-healing path you are on, which is a life-long process as there are always layers and layers to dig and dig through. And by that I mean that you can go way beyond yourself, into the generational, the mythical. And I think that's the main takeaway. You are a Healer of Yourself, and by doing that, you're also healing others.

I'm still getting that some of you will be able sooner or later to share that wisdom in a more tangible way, perhaps as a writer or a counselor, a speaker or a carer, but, again, you don't need a specific job or activity to share your gifts because they radiate from you and can be received by the people in you touch in your daily life.

That it's for Pile 1! I just wanted to say that your energy is awesome and I feel very touched!! I wish you good luck on your path and I'm sending you a lot of love.

PILE 2

Cards: The Medallion + The Hunter + Ace of Wands / The Mystic + Spirit of the Tree + Magic / The One + The Shaman + Rebirth

As for what you embody in what you bring to the world, I see you someone who heavily involved with magic and/or the spiritual realms. Like, heads up but, I'm actually a bit floored because it is powerful but I'm not surprised knowing the type of people who follow me.

So yeah, the magical and the spiritual. But more precisely, you are upholding traditions from the past, working with something you've inherited (not necessarily by blood although it may be the case for some of you) from those who came before you. By practicing and taking action with these practices, you are keeping them alive, honoring them, and even perhaps working on transmitting them to those who will follow.

I see you one some type of mission (in an humble way) as in, you're focused on your path and moving fast toward that shining light you sense in the distance, like a glowing target that pushes you forward whether you are fully aware of what it is exactly or not. You are answering some type of call.

As for your strengths and qualities, you are someone who is really in tune with your dreams, and beyond that, the other realms. You feel the pulsation of both life and death in all things, can read the signs the world sends you, and can peek behind the veil. You may be a mystic, a seer, or a medium, or have strong affinities for this.

You are also no stranger to the mysteries of Nature and are able to gather knowledge from what is so different and alien from you. Again there is an idea of ancient wisdom that you are tapping into powerfully. It comes naturally to you because it's part of who you are. You are able to step back from the noise of the modern world to touch the wisdom that lies beneath the busy surface of the world. Most people don't even know it's here, but it is, and you see it.

Again, there is this idea that you see beyond human knowledge, and you are able to remember it because somehow, you understand that, and even though it is strange and alien, it's part of us, too.

You are also able to cultivate your own magic. You understand that you can't just receive without doing the work on yourself and cultivating your own power. You are not an empty vessel but a being full of stars in your own right. I have this image of someone who one day opened their eyes and saw the sunrise seemingly for the first time. As if those eyes themselves where born anew. You are able to dance between earth and the sky, embracing transformation and initiation.

As for the advice you received on sharing your strengths with the world, I was sort of expecting it but it's not so much about really sharing your knowledge with the world rather than being your own individual on your path and doing the things that are required by it. Idk if that makes sense it's quite abstract to understand so bear with me.

I got the Shaman. As you probably know it's a word that is mostly wrongly used and that can mean a bunch of things, like healer, sorcerer, oracle, warden of Nature, medium, spiritual advisor or religious leader. What I'm getting is that it's going to vary for all of you depending on the path you are on, but one thing is for sure, you are a very important link between the other-world and the human world and you can serve your community.

Perhaps because you can/will/are meant to embrace one of the roles I just mentioned, or because you are doing some type of work for the other-realms, again it will vary greatly depending on the person.

There is an inherent loneliness to this path. You may feel othered, marginalized, even crazy at times, because you exist in some type of hazy in-between, with one foot in our world and one foot in the Other.

The advice is to learn to accept and lean into that, and understand that you are not as alone as you think you are, even to your fellow humans.

We are all one, in some way. Made of so many buried facets, so many fallen stars. What you are experiencing is present in all of us, you are just able to anchor it in this world, which is not only important in and of itself, but also helps people around you help themselves, is what I'm getting.

As a final advice, because I felt like drawing one last card, I got Rebirth.

I'm going to keep this super open because this pile is made of various people, but there is something that needs to be reborn within you. Some type of transformation you need to go through to go further. You will need to leave something behind. Know that what you are right now is meant to shed and change because there is so much more to learn. Lean into what you know to see the next step, but be open to the unknown and its gifts.

That's it for this reading, very different from Pile 1 but I'm equally floored and a bit spooked because it was super powerful! Thank you for reading me, I hope this was useful to you and I send you a lot of love and wish you good luck on your journey!

PILE 3

Cards: 4 of Swords Rx + 10 of Pentacles + The Pilgrim + The Castle + The Threshold / 5 of Cups Rx + 8 of Wands Rx + Space, Time and Self + The Gifted Guide / Overwhelmed + Sorrow + the Moon (oracle) + Queen of Swords + 7 of Pentacles + The Forbidden Forest Rx

Driven is the most important word I'm getting from this reading.

It seems you are a builder and a pioneer of sorts, someone with the power to materialize your goals into the material plane, with the potential to establish long term material wealth and stable structures in the world. I'm also getting the word legacy, it's something that's important to you and you wish to accomplish in this lifetime. You might be an entrepreneur of some sorts or work in an area of Sciences, so legacy could be either about a business or wealth or advancing human knowledge in some way shape or form.

You don't sit around and wait, your are someone who don't remain stagnant but is always rising above and beyond to work towards your goals. You understand that your goals won't materialize without effort and you are committed to the task.

The way you go about life is focused on outside achievements, but that's the way you grow inside as well. The world is your laboratory where you explore ideas and see what can be birthed into the world.

You are someone who is not afraid to step into the unknown, to go towards uncharted territory, where others don't dare to go. It may seem like a lonely path for some, but for you, it is immensely fulfilling and is how you free yourself. You have your eyes set on the top of the mountain and nothing will stop you from reaching it.

You have no regard for the concept of fate and wish to keep your destiny into your own hands.

Your strengths and qualities are that you are aware of your faults and failures, of what you've lost in the past, and have learnt that no matter the setbacks, a new opportunity or idea can always arise and you can learn from your mistakes. You are full of energy and desire to move forward in a sort of restless way. It's like your burning with the energy of your will and the only way to master that fire is to remain as active as possible. Where others would have given up, you keep pushing, even if it hurts.

There is a strong message about knowing you are guided but not in a spiritual sense, and for two reasons:

One, you have trust in your own instinct and are guided by your interests and what pulls you in. You go with the flow and are able to follow effortlessly the dance of the cosmos, flowing from one cycle to the next, understanding that sometimes things can take more or less time (the idea of timing to be respected), or that you can zoom in and out your perspective on things (sometimes you need to see the big picture but sometimes you need to look into the details).

Second, you also understand the parts of unknown of your path, you don't feel like you need everything figured out and have trust that things will unveil when they need to. You listen to your environment and see patterns in the chaos that remain invisible to others and that's what guide your steps.

The advice on how to bring that more effectively into the world is pointing back to the reversed 5 of Cups and 8 of Wands, with Overwhelmed and Sorrow. It's very interesting because your strengths and quality are also sometimes reverted and things you struggle with, which is normal since we all have bad days and the very things that makes us ourselves can be our most violent pains.

In your low points, you have a tendency to bottle up your feelings, so focused that you are on your tasks, you ignore them until they spill. You don't really know how to handle your emotions and wait until they explode in your face to confront and feel them. It leaves you feeling lost and frustrated.

You have a highly individualistic mindset, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in excess it makes you too tyrannical toward yourself. You may feel alone against the world at times, a lone star in a black sky, because you are so cut off from receptivity and external guidance.

Don't discard the parts of you that feel alien and strange as they have much to teach you. It's okay to stop for a moment on your path, you don't have to rush all the time. You need to be patient with your goals, like a gardener watching them grow in their own time. You can't go against the rhythms of Nature and the Universe, some things take time, and that include respecting your own rhythms.

You need to learn to set up boundaries within yourself. It can be hard to feel when you're going overboard so you need to carve out some time to deal with your inner struggles and let yourself time to rest. Perhaps these low points have a lot to do with exhaustion and lack of mental and emotional space, so be mindful of that and keep some time for nurturing yourself, not just your goals.

That's it for Pile 3! I hope this was useful to you and brought you interesting messages. I wish you good luck on your path.

PILE 4

Cards: The Orphan + The Animal + 3 of Swords Rx + Ace of Wands Rx + Bottled Up + Gloom / The Mirror + Energy + Space, Time and Self + Dark Night of the Soul / 9 of Pentacles Rx + The Empress + Gratitude + Let Go + Yin and Yang + Truth

You are someone who came into this world full of childlike wonder but something broke, making you carry a deep wound. May be mental or physical trauma, an accident or a disability. As a result, you gained a ferocious thirst for life, a wild energy, similar to the primal instinct of survival. It was either giving up or pushing through, life or death.

It seems your ability to act in this world got restrained and that you had to learn your way around that. Like your potential was bottled up which made you think that all was over. Complete loss of hope. You felt cut off from the world, cut off from life and society. Rendered unable to connect with the bustling world. It seemed like it wasn't a choice you wanted to make but had to.

When I started drawing your cards for strengths and qualities, I felt an immense wave of fatigue washing over me, and one of the cards I drew was about calling back your energy. So I think you are very well aware of your limitations and you had to learn to live with that, manage your limited resources to make something blossom regardless. If you're not already aware of it, it's something you're currently learning.

I feel called to describe the energy card to you: a woman is sitting in a back full of stars, from her left palm flow a stream of water filled with stars with a flower blossoming from it and her whole body. I really think that whatever you went through and are still dealing with, despite limiting you in some ways, cannot stop you from bringing something beautiful to the world. It will feed from your very pains, like flowers feeding off dirt. There is so much potential for Life and growth.

Also, you had to learn to reflect on yourself a lot and that brought you a admirable understanding of the human nature, a precious wisdom that could not have been yours had you not have the life you had. It sucks to write because fuck that, I'm angry with you and I don't get why it has to be that way sometimes for some people, but it's true. I'm also getting that some of you are writers or have a great ability to spell out your thoughts. Really, this wisdom you gained through pain gave you a greater understanding of life, one that most people cannot touch, and that can be a great treasure to share with the world.

You have a strong ability to bring a deeper understanding of the human experience to others, transcending the mundane to allow them to touch what is meaningful and precious about life, understanding themselves and the world more. From the simple moments to the greatest revenge taken against fate.

By experiencing extreme loss, you found hope and a desire to survive and overcome, and are able to share it with others. This card also has a book in it so idk if you're a writer or not but you should definitely consider it if that's not the case. I think you have a lot to share with the world which could help others. Your words are worthier than gold, because you know how hard it is to face monstrous events but you know that it's worth pushing through. We all face difficult times in our lives, some more than others, but it's not about who suffered the most, and you understand that. You can really make a difference, pile 4. Light the way for others with your words.

The advice cards are really beautiful and supporting.

I see you being encouraged to learn to find balance within yourself and aiming for success and abundance. Because you can and you will be able to bring gifts to this world. You heart is a fertile soil, and it is so strong. From dead matters, pain and wastes, we can sow seeds and harvest golden crops, feeding many. You can embody that.

Really, you can be a beacon of light to other, crowned in stars, adorned with roses. You need to let yourself hope a little further. Don't settle for the bare minimum, let go of your regrets and pessimistic mindset. You have so much to offer. Find beauty, love and pleasure in your everyday life. It might only be in some specific moments but it is still so important and will help you live with more ease. Find bliss hiding between the folds of time.

You also got a strong message about gratitude. It can be easy to look down on this word, thinking it's a way to keep yourself in your enclosure and not thrive for more, but in reality, it's very empowering. By being grateful for your gifts, you are actually recognizing them, learning to trust and value them, which will in turn give you the confidence to share it with the world. The wise know that there is so much power and grace in having a grateful mindset, it doesn't stop you in your tracks, on the contrary, it calls even more blessings in.

You hold both life and death, pain and pleasure, despair and hope within yourself. It's time to embrace it and learn that life is not one or the other but a balance of both. You have been tilting over one side too much and it's time to rectify the scale. The advice is to find power in an unexpected place within you. Something you have overlooked. Something that feels uncomfortable. Ask yourself what you are resisting. You will find great creative energy as a result of that inner work. It will bring you growth.

The final card is called Truth and is also connected to the Empress, which you got earlier. The words on the card are: " That which is true will always be enough". You had to learn some truth the hard way, don't discard it because you are afraid or in pain. Hold it tight. Honor your truth. Again you get a message of gratitude and abundance. You are on a path to wisdom and you will gain a lot from it. By liberating yourself, you will also free others. Don't be scared to share what you've learnt and will learn with integrity. You soul is so beautiful.

That's it for pile 4. I hope it was an useful reading. It definitely was insightful for me. I wish you good luck on your path and I give you a big hug!!

[sc0tters]

Birthday Blues | Jack Hughes

summary: it’s Jacks 22nd birthday but when you’re so caught up making things perfect he starts to think you’ve forgotten what day it is.

request: yes/no

warnings: mentions of alcohol, use of the word y/n once or twice.

word count: 1.53k

authors note: literally started this piece in Australia and finished it in Bali but I rewrote so many parts of it that it took me a whole 6 hour flight to get this edited 😭.

Jack didn’t consider himself to be a nervous person.

Truly, it was tough to be one when you were the first pick in your respective draft year and as a middle child.

But around you it was a different story. You were on the media team for the devils and honestly he didn’t know what it meant to feel starstruck or in awe of someone until he met you.

Without any effort at all you managed to totally knock him off of his feet. Maybe it was the fact that you were older or maybe it was the fact that in a stream of people treating him like some he was a godsend, you were there to remind him that at the end of the day he was only human, but you never made him feel bad.

Jack had learnt your coffee order and after a while he started bringing it to you every day “he likes you, know that right?” Nico asked with an amused smirk on his face as he watched his teammate walk out of her office.

All you could do was smile “he’s just being polite.” That was what you told yourself each time the forward did anything for you.

Like the time he brought you a tub of ice cream from your favourite ice cream parlour in New York when he learnt that your cat passed away.

The things he did went from grand like the ice cream to just saying hello and goodbye at the beginning and end of each work day.

Part of you had to admit that you liked Jack but an even bigger part of you had to admit that you appreciated him. Since he came to the team there wasn’t a single night out that you went on where you had to walk home alone.

You had learnt after meeting his parents that it was a value that was most likely instilled in him through his parents.

All of those things made you wonder if that was the reason why you were putting so much effort into his birthday celebrations.

The boys didn’t know why but you seemed to enjoy party planning and as a result you were the one who would get tasked with planning what the team would do for the in season birthdays.

Luckily for Jack this year his birthday fell on on the first day off of a four day gap where the team weren’t playing games so they were allowed to celebrate the Hughes boy with a bit of alcohol involved.

The boys had an early morning training session where they were all so invested in the events of the day that it gave you the time to sneak out for some last minute errands “y/n!” Jack called out causing your eyes to go wide.

You had gone to pick up his present, not because you only decided to shop for it today but because it was only ready to be picked up today. You had gotten him a bracelet that had ‘go get em’ on the underside of the plate that had the day he made his debut engraved on it. The saying was something that usually fell from your lips before a game “hi Jack!” You awkwardly forced a smile onto your lips as you tried to hide the bag from him. Jack had a knack for being nosey when it came to you and the things you did.

So it was safe to say that you were somewhat panicking “you got any plans tonight?” The hockey player asked as he cocked his head ignoring your awkward stance.

He assumed you were going to be at the bar but nobody seemed to mention anything “nope,” you lied as you began to panic “I’ve got a night at home calling my name.” You explained as you shrugged. Lying was never your forte especially not when the guy in front of you looked as sad as Jack currently did “I should get back to my office,” you announced as you quickly spun on your head as you make your way back to your office before you blurted out what you had done. Jack knew his parents were in town because they were coming for the game, but what he didn’t know was that you had convinced both of his brothers to come into town for it too and you actually had to go pick the two of them up.

To say that Jack was heartbroken was dramatic but truthful. With the amount of messages that he had gotten about his birthday he truly thought that you would have at least said a little happy birthday to him, you usually did but now it seemed like you had forgotten about the day.

He also felt a little bit isolated in a sense because he hadn’t told anyone that he liked you, sure Nico and most of his teammates had picked up on it and sent the relentless string of teasing his way but he usually just ignored it.

The Devils player actually had to be dragged out of his apartment by his parents to go to the bar because he truly didn’t want to go out. Part of him wanted to show up at your door unannounced just so that he could give you a piece of his mind, but the more clear thinking part of him knew that it would never work as he could never be mad or even try to yell at you.

On the other hand you were feeling like you finally had a moment to breathe now that Quinn and Luke were in the bar “he’s gonna be fine,” Quinn smiled as he squeezed his hand on your shoulder. Both boys could tell that you were nervous wanting everything to go right for Jacks birthday “what are you doing here?” The Devils player only seemed to care that the girl had arrived “yeah I’ll just go back to Michigan then.” Luke scoffed drawing a laugh from your lips.

You had met the youngest Hughes boy a few times over the years especially after he got drafted by the Devils and his bluntness never failed to make you laugh “shut up,” Jack rolled his eyes as he pulled his brothers into a hug.

The older Devils player was surprised to see his siblings too “y/n actually got us here,” Quinn pointed out as he sent you a smirk, after hearing Ellen gush about you last year at the lake house the eldest Hughes boy knew that you were special to his brother.

Your cheeks turned pink as Jacks eyes never left you “thanks for this,” he grinned as he wrapped his arms around you.

All you could do was nod as you tried to remain calm “just doing my job,” you smiled as you shrugged.

Jacks party had gone down a blast. You seriously didn’t think that the players found a moment actually stop moving as everyone just continued drinking and dancing.

But like all good parties and age this one was one you were starting to feel in your feet “where are you going?” Jack asked as he watched you begin to make your out of the door.

He always seemed to notice you like wherever you went his eyes followed “it’s time for me to call it a night.” You explained as you were looking forward to the warm bubble bath that was calling your name.

The boy couldn’t help it when he frowned “I’ll walk you home.” The hockey players favourite bar was only four minutes away from your apartment.

Your heart warmed at the offer “stay with your family.” You shook your head as you turned down his offer.

But Jack didn’t seem to listen as he placed his hand on the small of your back “they won’t notice that I’m gone.” He pointed out as he started walking with you.

You sucked at your teeth as you finally found the curiosity within yourself to ask him what Nico continuously pointed out “why are you so caring?”

Jack smiled at the compliment “you’re an easy person to care for,”he pointed out as he shrugged.

The street was dead silent as you turned to face him letting the street light hit your face “how’d I get so lucky?” You blurted out as you pursed your lips together.

The boy licked his lips at your question “I ask myself that all the time,” he confessed as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

It drew a laugh from your mouth “you’re such a simp,” you pointed out with a smirk “only for you,” Jack was quick to shoot that statement back as it caused you to realise that Nico was right.

Jack did have a crush on you.

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the collar of his shirt “shut up,” you mumbled as you captured his lips in a kiss.

It was something you had waited to do for months.

Something Jack wanted to do from the moment he met you.

This was officially the best birthday he could have ever asked for.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Hii👋🏽 I hope you had a good birthday🥳🫶🏽

Will you please do headcanons for the good final timeline Kisaki as a boyfriend/husband?

Thank youu if you do🙌🏽

Yeah! Here are some for dating Kisaki in the good timeline!

He actually blushes very easily, he hates it and will try to hide it from you.

Is so good at sweet talking you, he can convince you to do anything (typically it includes things you don't want to but have to do like doctor visits).

Touch starved but doesn't know it, you're the one who notices it first. 

He has no idea where to take you for a date. Ends up asking Takemichi for advice.

Tries to hide any bad things from you like if he's had a stressful day at work. He doesn't want you to worry, it takes awhile for him to realise it's ok to open up a bit.

Will pout if you beat him in a game

Buys you very expensive gifts 

The first time you gave him a gift, it was something inexpensive/ handmade. He wasn't expecting to love it as much as he did. He learnt it's more about the thought then the price after that. So he put a lot more effort into your gifts (but he still tends to choose more expensive items).

Will fall asleep in his office after working late, sometimes you have to go wake him.

Cried at his wedding from the happiness.

He get's along really well with your family, he just knowd how to sweet talk parents/ siblings.

He get's a bit embarrassed by showing affection in public at first (he was internally freaking out the first time the two of you walked around holding hands).

Actually asks Takemichi for a lot of advice, there's a lot he doesn't really understand about relationships. He was never really close with either of his parents so never got to see how a loving relationship goes.

He's very good at picking up subtle clues from you that show how you're feeling/ when you're upset.

Get's jealous a bit easily but it's something he's working on.

Something about you just makes his heart melt, he just gets so soft around you. He goes from yelling orders to employees to greeting you warmly. 

Although he can sweet talk you easily, you can also sweet talk him easily. You practically have him wrapped around your little finger with all the stuff he's willing to do for you.

When you first met he actually didn't like you that much, he hated the way you made him feel even more. Of course some of the others had to step in to make him realise this is a crush. 

[geekgirles]

Liar Revealed

So Marinette and Sabrina worked together to lure Lila into a false sense of security that eventually led up to her spilling everything in front of an audience she was unaware of. Now everyone knows she’s been lying about everything, she’s a horrible person, and she and Chloé are about to be expelled for good... After 7 years, the fandom finally got what it wanted.

...then why do I feel like I’ve actually wasted those 7 years of my life? 

Buckle up, ‘cause this is going to be a long ride.

As someone who’s been eagerly awaiting for Lila to be exposed since Volpina, a feeling that only grew with each passing episode she’s been featured in, I honestly find this development wholly underwhelming, highly disappointing, even. 

Maybe I’m too vindictive, who knows, but this in no way feels like proper comeuppance for a character who’s been maliciously manipulating everyone around her and relishing in other people’s misery since she was first introduced.

First and foremost, because having Lila accidentally reveal herself while gloating is too much of a cliché. I’ve seen people before mentioning how Lila exposing herself seemed to be the only way this could go, seeing as Marinette’s best attempts always seemed to fail. But if we ignore for a second this was actually set up by Marinette and Sabrina, with the way it’s handled it just feels like a kick in the gut, not the overwhelming catharsis I’m sure most of us were expecting. 

Because, and this is actually my main problem with the execution, by having Lila expose herself by spouting a self-satisfied tirade of every single lie she’s ever told and people have believed without question as she disparages Sabrina’s attempts to take her down, saying how she could easily turn everyone against her, the narrative is actually framing Lila in the right.

When we as the audience know it shouldn’t be like that. 

Lila only really upped her game in season 5 (and even then the writers still rely too much on the characters being dumbed down around her for it to work), up until then all her lies would have been easily discreditable if the writers didn’t need the class and everyone in Paris to believe her for her schemes to work!

From our perspective, Lila is nowhere near as formidable as she presents herself to be. Which, admittedly, goes in line with her consistent characterisation (about her only consistent trait aside from being hateful and a liar) that she believes and presents herself to be more special than she actually is. But the problem is no character other than Marinette, Adrien, and now Sabrina ever learnt of this fact! Maybe now that she’s exposed herself, but with the way she gloated about all her plans going off without a hitch...

Which leads us to another reason this was the worst possible execution of Lila being exposed they could have come up with:

It was a stroke of luck.

That’s it. That’s unquestionably what it was. Because hadn’t Sabrina finally grown a spine and drawn the line with the actions she was willing to commit for Chloé’s sake, Marinette would have had no way of knowing of Lila’s plan and preparing accordingly. 

Really, the only positive thing I can say about it is that it could maybe count as character development for Marinette since she finally learned she needed to be as sneaky as Lila if she wanted to take her down. And there’s of course the fact that Sabrina finally broke away from Chloé. Other than that? It’s a fairly sombre scenario, really. 

Because, again, Marinette didn’t manage to finally beat Lila because she had a strong support network (which would have painted a very symbolic and meaningful picture showcasing how, for all the superficial attention her lies can get her, in reality, Lila will always be alone as long as she doesn’t put in the genuine effort to reach out to others like Marinette does), but because she had outside help. Again, help she couldn’t have accounted for until Sabrina herself reached out to her. 

Relating to my previous point, Marinette never got Alya to even believe her about Lila or at the very least question how genuine she was until Lila spelled it out for her. Even though she’s known her best friend is Ladybug for months, which brings forth the question if letting Alya in on Marinette’s secret ended up being even worth it if the writers refuse to have her help her out where it matters (I’ll be sure to go back to this point in a minute, just you wait). 

What else? Oh, I know! How about the fact that, for a season that was supposed to be all about Adrienette winning, the writers purposely robbed us of that Adrienette vs Lila alliance we were promised back in Chameleon, huh? Because Adrien was completely left out of the plan. In fact, ever since Ladybug back in season 3, he hasn’t been allowed to do anything to help Marinette against Lila. As with the Ladynoir conflict in season 4, his relevance all but vanished even though he was a central part of the conflict from seasons 1-3. 

Even better! When he finally spoke up about Lila to Nino and Alya, arguably his best friends besides Ladybug, they completely brushed his concerns off as him just agreeing with Marinette out of boyfriend obligation! I didn’t know intangible things could slap me in the face, but boy was I wrong!

And the best part? This complete disregard of his feelings, lack of communication, and their assuming they know better than him (which disturbingly parallels to his own relationship with Gabriel...) is certainly never going to be explored, let alone resolved. 

What do I mean with all this?

Well, basically that for a show that’s supposed to promote the power of love, friendship, and teamwork, when it comes to Lila Marinette is all alone. Has been since Volpina. 

But at least that’s done with, Lila got her just desserts, and we’re never going to have to deal with her ever again...

SIGH

Except, not really. Not at all, in fact. 

Because just as she and Chloé were finally being reprimanded for their actions, Mr. Damocles had to choose that of all moments to realise he failed as a principal, attract an akuma, cause a racket, and provide Lila with the perfect distraction to just...walk away unscathed. 

And with the reveal that she actually has more identities, social circles, and opportunities to lie and manipulate to fall back to after being expelled from the Françoise-Dupont...Let’s just say it implies that while Marinette (and the audience) had to endure nothing short of psychological torture, Lila never really had anything to lose.

Now I ask you...how the Hell am I supposed to consider that a satisfying, cathartic resolution to that particular arc?!?!?!?

And if you permit me, there is one more thing I’d like to get off my chest. 

Alya’s reaction to this.

After learning the truth she rushes to hug Marinette and apologise, being a clear wreck about it. And while Marinette getting an apology once in a blue moon is always a welcomed thing, once again the writers aim and completely miss their shot. Because Alya apologises for being gullible. 

Look, back in seasons 1 and 2, Hell, even back in season 3, I could have overlooked this. Yes, she never listened to Marinette, could be a tad hypocritical, and the whole jealous thing got old and annoying fast, but at least she couldn’t know for certain Lila was bad news. But from season 4 onwards Alya no longer has such an excuse. No, from season 4 onwards Alya’s problem isn’t that she’s gullible, it’s that she willingly and repeatedly chose to blatantly ignore all of Marinette’s suspicions and warnings regarding Lila. Even after Adrienette finally became canon and Marinette had realistically no reason to feel jealous of Lila in any way, shape or form, Alya still couldn’t fathom that, perhaps, her best friend had her reasons for disliking Lila besides a love triangle. 

The moment Alya learned Marinette is Ladybug, the two should have been allowed to talk about Lila, about the real reason Marinette hates her, and to work together to overcome this issue and bring her down. How do you expect me to be okay with season 5 opening to these two having daily sleepovers to talk about Marinette’s love life, but not a single second could be spared after Illusion to have Alya question why Marinette hates her so much, if not connect the dots herself since she is Ladybug’s best friend, not Lila, and Ladybug hates her?

I’ve seen people justify this saying it’s been a long time since Lila lied about being Ladybug’s best friend, and while I’ll argue the last time it was mentioned was actually Chameleon, not Volpina, I could see your point. Except that is not just another lie, like her claiming she knows Jagged Stone or Prince Ali. No, that is the lie that started everything.

It was because Lila lied about knowing Ladybug to impress everyone, especially Adrien, that Marinette completely lost it and chewed her out for it in front of him. It’s because of that lie and the consequent reaction it got from Ladybug that Lila even developed a grudge in the first place. It’s because of that lie that Marinette ever found out about Lila being a liar, because before she first lied to Adrien about being close to Ladybug, Marinette was panicking because she had no chance against someone as incredible as her. If she hadn’t lied about knowing Ladybug, Marinette would have been as fooled by her as everyone else and the two might have never really come to blows.

So don’t tell me it was never brought up because it was so long ago and it doesn’t matter anymore, when that particular lie carries so much weight and we all know the real reason they couldn’t have Alya in Marinette’s corner is because the writers know Lila needs everyone around her to follow her blindly for her lies to work and everything to always work out in her favour because otherwise she just doesn’t work as a villain.

TL;DR: If you want a good resolution to the Lila Gets Exposed plot, pick literally any fanfic dealing with this exact premise. It’ll be better, I promise.

[imaginedanvrs]

my demon gave me everything

part 3 l masterlist

summary: dark!natasha romanoff x reader. Natasha Romanoff saves the world. Morals, lifestyle and past aside, the fact is that she puts her life on the line for everyone else. And for this, she believes she’s owed something. She saves billions of lives on the regular, so why not take the occasional one for herself?

word count: 2.5k

warnings: dubcon, teasing, degrading, established kidnapping, burns, abuse, power dynamics

You had never hooked up with anyone before, but from what you had learnt from sitcoms, there was usually some kind of big moment of regret when the character woke up the next morning. Maybe they realised they’d fucked someone they knew, or said something stupid while drunk, or do something they could never expect to find themselves doing. Well for you, the latter certainly applied - just not as fast as it did on TV.

  Waking up to Natasha’s arms slung across you was…homely. It was warm and gentle and tender and felt like everything you had imagined waking up to someone felt like. You wanted to stay there forever, willing the universe not to burden me with having to go to work. It was then that everything came back to you, along with the pain. 

  You tried to pry the spy’s hands off of you but her grip grew stronger the more you attempted to shimmy out of her hold, as though you were entrapped in quicksand. “Quit moving so much,” came Natasha’s rough voice, sleepy but still alert. Neither of you moved for a long few minutes until she dragged you closer to her and kissed your neck. “Good morning,” she muttered against you. Your hairs stood on end. 

  You didn’t reply, too busy trying to ignore the burning along your neck, stomach and thighs as you replayed the events of the night and questioned what the hell you were thinking. Well, you were clearly letting your body do all of it for you but why it had acted as it did you had no idea. Natasha’s hand wandered underneath your shirt to your breasts and you grabbed her wrist to pry it off, pissing the redhead off by doing so. The wrist you had tried to grab was holding yours with bruising force in under a second.

  “Don’t be a bitch,” Natasha warned before quite literally kicking you out of bed. You fell with a thud and looked back at the redhead with wide eyes. “Go shower,” she instructed as she moved around behind you. You turned around to see her getting out of bed too and stopped to stare back at you.

  “No,” you said, trying to appear as confident as you could when looking her in the eye. “You had your fun, now let me go,” you demanded, clenching your hands into fists as your breathing grew heavy. “I need to get my wounds sorted,” you continued as your eyes flicked to the scarlet sheets. Natasha had an unreadable expression as she stared at you, until it turned into an arrogant smirk.

  “You seemed to have your fun too,” she quipped, ignoring your second statement. You wanted so badly to slap her.

  “Fuck you,” you spat. Her smirk dropped. “This is kidnapping,” she huffed and rolled her eyes, walking around the outside of the bed and towards her wardrobe, completely unbothered by you.

  “Don’t be dramatic,” she said without looking at you, like you were a new pet she was training not to whine. You were too stunned to reply, instead trying subtly to shift your weight from leg to leg in an effort to shift the extra ton on your chest. “And work on your poker face, detka. You’re not fooling anyone with that scared puppy look.” The spy continued as she laid out two outfits on the bed and nodded her head towards the bathroom. 

  Feeling defeated and embarrassed, you headed for the bathroom without another word. You ran the tap to brush your teeth on autopilot but once you tried to steal a glance in the mirror to keep your eyes on the Avenger the brush went clattering into the sink as you took yourself in. Cuts and bruises everywhere. Dark fingerprints were littered across your arms, thighs, chest and, the most angry one, neck, accompanied by a scarlet stripe in the middle surrounded by smaller mirrored on my chest. The mark of Natasha was everywhere, and they were deep.

  The shower had more than enough room for you and ten others, yet you kept close to the corner with a small ledge to sit on. You didn’t turn around when Natasha’s bare front pressed against your back, trying your hardest to ignore her and hoped she would grow bored. Instead, she traced her fingertips across the tattoos on your arms with a hum while you continued to wash yourself. “They’re cute,” she commented. You didn’t reply. “Do you want any more?” Natasha queeried out of genuine curiosity as she continued to feel across the rest of your body. “Maybe here?” She continued, placing her hand on your hip. “Or up here?” Her hand ran across your chest. 

  You gave no response, giving your attention to the sole task of rinsing yourself of the night before. However, the spy knew if she pushed enough of your buttons she would hit the right one and she had all the patience she needed to do it. Her hand continued up to your neck and your whole body tensed. She grinned. “I would just love to give you some new ink here,” she said with a testing squeeze, threatening to reopen the cuts she had made less than eight hours prior. “Although I suppose you’re marked enough for the time being,” she hummed as she admired the blemishes she had imprinted. 

  You still didn’t respond as she retraced all of the marks she had taken such time in creating, as though she was admiring an art piece she had recently perfected. “You were so good for me last night,” she cooed as her hand fell to your hip and you  became all too aware of the feel of her breasts against you. “You took it all so well,” she continued, making you recall the images you were trying to suppress in shame. “And you loved every second,” Natasha added, just to add some salt to the wound. 

  “I didn’t,” you attempted to protest but the spy shushed you with a kiss. You didn’t have the energy to push away, so you also didn’t kiss back. Natasha didn’t like that and grabbed your jaw with enough force to make you part your lips for her to slip her tongue in. Her hand gripped your thigh in unison and this time, you really didn’t want it. You frowned and tried to move away but her hold stayed firm. 

  “You did,” Natasha insisted between kisses and dragged her nails up your thighs just as she did last night. You didn’t shiver. You didn’t react. You stayed still, trying to process the turmoil of it all. You hadn’t wanted it last night but then you had? But now you didn’t want it again but you really didn’t? You didn’t understand. It was all so new and you didn’t know what to make of your feelings or the situation they found themselves applying to. 

  The spy’s invasive fingers soon found themselves between your legs but stopped short. Natasha breathed steadily against your neck and crooked her own to look at your confused yet entirely unresponsive features. She then gave you a small kiss to the corner of your lips and pried herself off of you and out of the shower, leaving you standing there alone.

It was only once your fingers became wrinkled that you were able to tear yourself away from the soothing shower. Natasha was sitting on the balcony, half submerged in a plume of smoke from her cigarette. You didn’t take her for a smoker but wasn’t that shocked given how much of her character you, along with the rest of the world, had misunderstood. 

  On the bed was a thin navy blue sweatshirt that looked as though it would hang low like the shirt you had woken up in the day prior, a pair of plain white underwear, and some loose shorts that wouldn’t show under the sweatshirt. You slipped the outfit on without being tempted to look in Natasha’s wardrobe and hesitantly made your way to the balcony where the door was slightly ajar. 

  It was pleasant outside, a breezy summer midmorning to wake up the city before it grew warmer as the day went by. The spy was sitting close to the railing with a watchful eye over the city, not acknowledging your presence. She didn’t have to. You both knew you knew she knew you were there. 

  Though there was a table for Natasha’s ashtray, there wasn’t another chair for you to sit on so you stood awkwardly by the door for several minutes before moving close, still without being openly acknowledged, until you placed your hands on the railing and looked out at the city too. You felt Natasha’s gaze shift to you once you did and you wondered if she thought you were going to try and jump over. You wondered if you should. 

  You glanced down directly below to the busy street just outside the building. You had no idea how far up you were but you reckoned it was high enough that you would die before impact. Would it be on the news? Would it be investigated? Probably not, right? You weren't sure if Natasha was the only Avenger to be… corrupt, but you were sure that even if she was and the rest were as pure as they appeared, S.H.I.E.L.D and whatever higher powers would continue to protect her. 

  You looked towards Natasha, locking eyes with her interested ones as she took a drag. She would never let you jump. The assassin’s eyes stayed glued to yours, adamant on not looking away first. Those eyes were just as piercing and impossible to read as they were the day before now that the numbness you experienced that morning had faded and your wariness was back. You returned your gaze to the city and felt her do the same. 

  “What am I here to do?” You asked bluntly, still not understanding your role. “You said I’m here because you brought me home but…what is it you’re expecting me to do?” You turned to face her at the last word, hoping she would recognise how lost you were and having no idea that Natasha had seen that look countless times before. 

  “Come here,” was all she answered as she put a cigarette out and took another one from her pack. You took several cautious paces towards her until you were blocking her view of the city so she pulled you into her lap without any warning so that you were perched on her left thigh with your legs dangling between hers and her arm around your waist. You didn’t protest but you noticeably tensed.

  “Light this,” she instructed as she handed you the lighter and put the cigarette between her teeth. You fumbled with the lighter, surprised she even let you handle it but also under practised with the sparkwheel kind. Natasha smirked at your incompetence to complete such a simple task and hummed when you finally got the flame. It was all too tempting to keep it lit and place it against her shirt but she snatched it out of your hands as soon as the thought crossed your mind, shooting you a warning look when you risked a glance. Bitch.

  At that, you took in Natasha’s outfit of a plain black shirt and a matching leather jacket over it. It made her dark orange hair stand clearer against it as it hung loose again. It looked soft, like you would be able to run your hands through it and not feel any knots despite the light wind pushing it about. It was the only colour in her outfit of black too and for a moment you wondered if she ever wore any other colour or at least something looser than sweatpants. The clothes she had given you were loose and in subtle colours, so she must have something. The fact that they smelled of her gave it away. Had she done that deliberately? 

  When you looked back up she was already watching you with that gaze that made it seem like she was trying to decipher your thoughts. She brought her hand with the cigarette up to your face and pushed the strands of hair the wind had blown out of your face and behind your ear, just like they do in movies. You tensed and turned your head to make her hand fall.

  “Now what?” You asked again, adamant not to let yourself soften under her touch. 

  “Now you behave and I’ll get you a treat,” she said plainly.

  What the hell did that mean?

  “What kind of treat?” You asked slowly, unsure of what it could mean. “Like…you let me go?” You tried and was met with a condescending chuckle, like a child had just asked to have every sweet in the store. 

  “That’s cute. I was thinking more like a notepad and some pencils,” she replied vaguely. You narrowed your eyes thoroughly confused. 

  “What?” 

  “You like drawing don’t you? I’ll get you something to draw with,” Natasha shrugged. 

  What the actual hell?

  “How did you know that?” You questioned immediately. The spy met your eye, unconcerned by what she had let slip and exhaled through her nose with an all knowing smile. 

  “I know a lot about you, detka,” she said lowly, bringing her hand up to your cheek again although this time you could feel the heat radiating off her cigarette unnervingly close to your face. 

  “If that’s true then you’ll know the only thing I want from you is to let me go,” you bit back and the redhead’s smile dropped. You held your breath as she stared back at you before you were broken from the trance by a searing heat on your thigh. You yelped and looked down to see Natasha’s cigarette but pushing into your leg, you hadn’t even noticed when she had moved it there.

  “Stop!” You pleaded and tried to push her hand away. 

  “You should be grateful for everything I’m doing for you,” the spy practically growled as she watched you writhe around in her lap in pain only withdrawing her hand once she deemed you to look pathetic enough. You grabbed at the burnt skin and leapt off her lap. Surprisingly, Natasha let you flee back inside towards the bathroom, a sob threatening to rip from your throat and only allowing it to do so once the door was shut behind you.

  You fumbled with the removable shower head and put it on a cool setting, placing it over the red mark on your thigh for as long as you could bear and hoped it would aid in muffling the sound of your crying as a wave of hopelessness crashed over you. Your skin became numb and you took the water away to see the mark growing darker.

  God, you hated her so much.

[cloudsmateria]

leon kennedy x reader / college au

summary: you and your best friend leon had gone off to university, too busy to see each other for the longest time you'd both been away. you eventually find the time to meet up, getting drunk and acting on some building up feelings :3

warnings: start of a smut, alcohol, not proof read idk its kind of a shit ramble that i didn't put much cohesive effort into but it's quite cute so i posted it

anyway, i’ll probably do the smut in p2

words: 2.7k

It had been a month since you last saw Leon. Ever since you started law school, and he got into his cop training program both of your schedules had been stacked, despite you both still living in the same city the 45-minute commute to each other's homes was too much. As your best friend, you both managed to call each other every other night, confiding about whatever stupid experiences you both had in your new lives.

Tonight, you finally were able to agree on him coming to your apartment tonight, as you finally managed to get all work out of the way to have a fully free weekend off. You didn't realise how excited you were for his arrival until he texted you he was at the door. You sprinted through the halls and threw the door open.

"Leon!" You shout, jumping onto him and wrapping your arms around him.

"Y/n." He smiled, hugging you back.

“I haven’t seen you in way too long.” 

“We saw each other on Facetime last night.” You finally pull away with a smile. 

“You won’t even let me have a moment to be sweet.”

“It weirds me out, you're impossible to take seriously.” He rolls his eyes in response as he walks into your apartment, falling onto your couch, you sit next to him, kicking your legs up and leaning your head against his shoulder. “Did you wanna order takeout?”

“I wanted to go out. Haven’t left my apartment to explore the city since I joined the training academy. But we’ll just stay in here for a few minutes, catch me up, then we can go outside and do dumb shit.”

“Catch you up on what?” You laughed. “You’ve been my virtual therapist for the past month. Let’s talk about you. Show me what you learnt in your training or something, entertain me.”

“You’re right, you’ve talked too much, your voice gives me a headache.” You slap his chest and he lets out a light laugh, grabbing your wrists and pulling you over him to lay on his chest. “Get comfortable first, it’s long.”

“Doubt it.”

“You have it easy. This training is just as physically draining as it is mentally.”

“It shows. You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” You say, tracing your finger up his arm that has noticeably grown in size, and he’s already been going gym since he was 15.

He laughs. “You must've missed me bad, I’ve never seen you this nice.”

“What’s the training like?”

“I’m at the top of the class right now but the coaches are fucking evil, 4 people have already left.” He rambles on about the jarring people he’s met and the few friends that he’s made until the story is over and he gets up regretfully as he loses the weight of your body on top of him. You go into your room to change as you are still in pyjamas, getting into a skirt with a baggy sweater you wore a little too much.

“Is that my jumper?” Leon asked as you walked out. “Is it? I've had it for ages." He steps closer and snorts when he gets a closer look, flipping the back to see the label.

"You stole this from me last year."

"You mean I borrowed it indefinitely."

"I could arrest you."

"I'd like to see you try your best, trainee. It looks better on me anyway, finders keepers."

"What if I took it back off you?"

"You'd have to catch me first."

"I'm pretty fast."

"Not as fast as me." You grin before pushing him and sprinting out of your apartment, the sound of his footsteps trailing behind you.

"You think you can lose me?!" He taunted.

"I've done it before!" You shout back, running down the stairs of the apartment complex, and out into the streets, almost losing your breath from how much you were laughing. Suddenly, he sped up to an ungodly speed, picking you up when he caught up and throwing you over his shoulder. "Oh my god! What do they feed you in training?!" You yell, slapping his back.

"Mostly protein." He says, sarcastically.

"Are you gonna put me down or carry me around the city like a caveman?"

"I’ll drop you."

"Don't even joke about that." He laughs.

"Fine, fine, I won't." He puts you down and you both start walking around the city, looking for a corner store to get into.

"Let’s get wasted." You say, pointing to a small corner store.

"You’re so irresponsible." He said, going into the store and coming back out with soda and a bottle of vodka, he popped it open instantly when he came out, taking in a mouthful without wincing, passing it over to you straight after as you both walked down the street.

"I found this nice spot, it's 5 minutes from here."

"You didn't tell me about this when we were on Facetime."

"I was hoping to show you in person, I haven't told anyone else about it." You say, taking a mouthful of the burning liquid, coughing slightly, and passing it back over.

"Well, lead the way."

After a few minutes, you were standing on the roof of an abandoned, bordered car park with a pretty view of the river that ran through the city. You already had a wooden bench up there that you took as someone left it on the side of the road.

"How did you find this?" Leon asks.

"I just went on a walk one day and saw the entrance was bordered up and decided to explore, no-one ever comes up here." You said, leaning against the rails. "How much have we drank?"

"About a quarter of the bottle. Do you want more?" He asked.

"Yeah." He passes it over to you. "Do you remember the time we broke into that abandoned hospital near our high school?"

"And you freaked out when you thought that fake skeleton was real.."

"You're never gonna let that go are you?"

"We had to climb out of the window and I had to catch you before you fell to your death. Of course, I'm not going to let it go, you owe me."

"What do you want then? A drink?”

"I can pay for my own drinks and I just paid for yours." He said signalling to the bottle in your hand.

"You get to continue to enjoy my lovely company, that's all I owe you."

"Good enough." He sighed, taking a swig. The both of you sit around, both of you talking each other's ears off until he makes a suggestion.

"We should play a game."

"What's the game?"

"Truth or dare."

"Yes! I don't remember the last time we played this. Truth."

"Any crushes yet?"

"Honestly, not really. There are some cute guys in my uni but I'm just too busy with work. Truth or Dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to finish the bottle."

"No problem." He said, finishing the bottle, and dropping it on the ground. You laughed at him, knowing he's going to be out of his mind later.

“You’ve been going to too many parties.” You say, watching in astonishment. “This is definitely some pretence for a future alcohol problem.”

“You’re gonna be the reason for my future alcoholism.”

“To be fair you are the type to become an alcoholic over a girl.”

“You’re that girl. You’re the most annoying thing in my life and I can’t get rid of you.” 

You hit his arm.

“You hit me too. Can’t get worse.” You roll your eyes with a smile.

“Seriously, you got anything going on with any girls?” You ask, feeling a bit of tension rise. He gives you a knowing grin. “Because I love gossip, don’t get any ideas.”

“Yeah, her name is Sienna. Funny girl, might ask her out soon.” You nod, questionably annoyed. “I’m joking. God. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, got something you wanna tell me?”

“The alcohol is just hitting.” You say. “Don’t get so full of yourself. You know I wouldn’t get with you if you were the last man on earth.”

“Yeah, right.” He smiles amusedly, a plan in mind. “Truth or dare, y/n?”

"Dare."

"Kiss me." Your heart stops.

"I'm not kissing you."

"You have to."

“Do I?”

“Never took you for a girl who’d pussy out on a dare.”

You sigh.

"You have some sick satisfaction out of tormenting me." You say, standing up and straddling his thighs. Fuck. You can feel the thick muscles of his shoulders as you rest your hands upon them. 

"You have no idea." You stare at him with a small frown.

"You're so lucky I'm drunk." You lean in slowly, feeling his fingers trace over your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body. You're just a few centimetres away from his lips, your lips parting, your heart thumping, his gaze dropping down to your lips. Suddenly, you hear him quietly laugh as you start to close your eyes.

"I'm not actually going to kiss you." He says.

"What?"

"You don't have to kiss me, it was a joke."

"Oh god." You sigh, faceplanting into his shoulder.

"You're so cute." He snorts, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I think you’re the one who’s gonna make me an alcoholic." You mumble. 

“Come on, let’s go back to your apartment before you jump off the railings.” He says, letting you get off.

"You're evil." You say once you get to the ground.

"And you're so gullible. How is someone supposed to not take advantage of that?"

"Now you’re showing your true colours, you’re going to regret saying that." You say as menacing as you can, before tripping up from how tipsy you were, just for him to grab the back of your sweater to keep you upright.

"Keep threatening me, I love it."

“Freaky bastard.”

“You have no idea.” He says, grabbing your hand to speed you up for you to trip again, he laughs as you manage to catch yourself. “Do you need me to carry you?”

“No thanks.”

“Too bad because I want to get back in a timely manner.” He says, wrapping his arm around the back of your knees and carrying you off. You weren’t going to complain. 

“Are you not drunk?”

“I’m drunk. I just have more spatial awareness than you.” He carries you the quick 5 minutes to your house. Managing to walk all the way up the stairs with you still in his arms, his stamina was kind of hot, or maybe those were just drunk thoughts. 

He sets you down on your couch, getting you both a glass of water to put on your side table. 

"I didn’t say this but I took some judo classes." You say, just letting whatever dumb shit stumble out your mouth as you take a sip from the glass.

"Did you now?" He says sarcastically.

"We should spar."

"You never fail to surprise me with your stupid ideas." He says while watching you get up. "Are you that confident?"

"You're scared, that's why you're trying to chicken out." He pushes himself up off the couch.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” He says, watching you hype yourself up, jumping up and down.

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Come at me then.” He said, fully intending to go easy on you. You quickly try to tackle him onto the floor, wrapping your leg around him to drop him, and to his shock he falls onto his back, leaving him groaning and rubbing his back. “I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Fuck yeah! Told you you’d regret it!” You shout, jumping up, he grabs your leg and pulls it down making you fall over him, rolling over so that you were pinned down by your wrists.

“How cute, Leon.” You smile, tucking feet underneath him onto his chest and launching off you and getting up. You usually weren’t this successful given you’d only gone to 2 classes, the drunkenness definitely provided you some much-needed confidence. He laughs breathlessly from the rollercoaster you just put him through, resting on his wrists for a second before standing up with you. 

“You wanted me to show you what I learnt in training right?” He says, as you rub your hands together mischievously. You run toward him, him holding both of your hands when you try to push him, pushing against each other as he swipes both your feet from under you and pins you to the floor, his shins pressing on your thighs to make sure you don’t pull the same trick again. Both of you are still breathing heavily from the high of the last round. 

 "You should give up now." He whispers, lacing his fingers in between your own.

"You should know better." You whisper back, smiling. His eyes drop down to your lips, his head fogged as the alcohol in his system starts to kick in more.

"What if I don't?" He leans in, brushing his lips over yours, your stomach fluttering, you were so glad you were drunk. You never would've come up with this idea if you were sober.

"What are you doing, Leon?" 

"Beating you up.”

"You're drunk."

"So are you." He replies, connecting your lips. The kiss is slow and soft. Not how you expected a drunk make-out to be. His lips part and your tongue meet his, the both of you letting out quiet sounds as the kiss gets more heated, his body weight shifting down. His arms wrap around your waist, under your jumper as he stands up with your legs wrapped around him. "We shouldn't be making out on the living room floor." He says and presses his lips against yours again. You were already a little light-headed from the alcohol, his lips trailing down your jawline, your neck, the soft breaths of his breath against your skin, it was almost dizzying. His foot pushes your bedroom door open and he places you down on the bed his lips still all over and his fingers lifting the jumper over your head. He trails his fingers over the waistband of your skirt.

"How much did you miss me?" He breathes against your lips.

"More than anything."

"How much did you miss me, Leon?"

“I was going insane." He whispers, his fingers slipping into your underwear, sliding them off and throwing them across the room. He sits up, taking his shirt off.

"Now that's just the alcohol talking."

"It's not, the time away made me realise something I should've ages ago." He said, leaning back over and kissing you. His hand trailed back down under your skirt, a finger gliding over your slit, a soft moan coming from his lips.

[somenerdfromwhatever]

I haven’t seen The Owl House but can we just talk about how Disney did this show dirty?

Let me preface this by saying that, as of the time of me writing this, I have NOT seen The Owl House in its entirety l yet. I could be in the progress of it after posting, but honestly as an outsider looking in given the entire Season 3 fiasco, Disney did this show dirty.

Like three specials only? Nothing more nothing less? With that happening due to outcry because originally it was going to get canned after the release of Season 2?

I don’t think it was a fair deal to end with three specials. Season 3 should’ve gotten the fanfare it deserved even with the outcry. Like, it is the weakest compromise possible even with mass support.

I’m going to paraphrase some bits of what I addressed to people on discord and additional information I learnt.

I’m surprised there wasn’t more of an active effort to fight back against the cancellation since it first blew up upon announcement. Like “doesn’t fit the branding?” Didn’t Gravity Falls face something similar? By that logic, this doesn’t make sense at all. I feel like Disney’s “brand theming” excuse is really dodgy, and it seems like there was some foul play involved. But I didn’t see the fandom actively pushing back, even the creator, who did speak out about it. (Note: I haven’t been on Twitter for over a year and a half, so I might not be fully aware of everything.) If I watch it and it’s as amazing as people say… given how I am passionate about things in this world, I won’t let Disney live this down. It’s like treating art as a joke just to fill their pockets and the corruption the industry has over artists. We saw this last year with the strikes and given the current state with the companies running the industry nowadays (the streaming bubble, and that the whole cartoon mass purge thanks to Max)... artists are now having their creativity die out because of industry folk like Disney.

If there was pushback, I’m glad there was at least some effort to score these three specials. But if this is how far it went, it feels like an unfair compromise. Three specials aren’t enough, honestly. Even if they’re good, it doesn’t negotiate anything at all as it still feels like Disney did this show dirty. Let me be clear here as well: I am NOT beating down anyone who has taken the effort to get this. Why the hell would I do that? I'm happy you guys managed to get your voice out there and left and impact. Those three specials were hard fought, I just wish there was more because honestly, it isn't enough. And if the resentment I'm seeing is anything to go by a year later, I say keep fighting. I am also not beating down Dana, the showrunner. Dana is an amazing creator, and the fact that she stood her ground at all with her cast and crew is incredible. My problem is with the corporation, with Disney, and how they put her in a position where that fight couldn’t be won in the way it should have been. I understand the fight it takes to get your foot in the door of the industry. If I were to turn around and beat down someone like Dana, who fought for her vision just like I’m fighting for mine? I would never live that down. It would stain me for life. Considering the industry itself is small and how I am going into it in post-production, sometime down the line, I will be faced with working with her. The last thing I want is burning a bridge inadvertently. I can understand why she acted the way that she did with her crew, it's just with a lot more vocality and support, things might've been different.

Like I don’t get Disney’s thought process here. You have a big, popular show, and then you “old yeller” it, giving it this slow death and then dragging it out with this… in my honest opinion; weak compromise. That is scummy and why us artists and creatives need a reform to the entertainment industry where we drive the vision and what Disney and others do come second.

At best, it did what it was supposed to do. At worst… it’s not enough.

With everything that the fanbase done including the cast, crew, and even Dana, while I'm happy they managed to end it, I feel like there should have been more active effort. I do notice there is still a lot of resentment and I mean A LOT OF RESENTMENT. I noticed a lot of the fandom got a hashtag trending, some fanart mailed into Disney itself, but I'm surprised there isn't like a full on physical protest. Online can only do so much. Like imagine a D23 but everyone is in their cosplay of the show with signs having references to whatever the show has going on. I mean, sure, it is unheard of, but consider the compromise, how it was censored in other countries, maybe even how mistreated it got during the making of Season 3. Go to the heart of where decisions are made. If you feel strongly about the compromise, take that energy and turn it into real action. As an outsider who is about to come on, I feel you so much. I hope the show is really good when I watch it, but in case if I don't, you guys really deserve better. Honest. I could be wrong in all this there's more to the story then I realize, so please go easy with this. Thank you.

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: Another one <3 we are almost done with the How Am I section !!

“How Am I” Section

“Am I Really A Good Person?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

To start off, it's important that we understand that being wrong and right are social constructs and they will depend on your cultural background, on you ethnic and the way you were born and social class.

Now these feelings of being a good person, of caring from the social norms and looks come from childhood where the family plays an essential role on how we want to be cared for and loved.

In a dysfunctional family they usually have a closed system. For any interest in these topics you can always check the works that are based on little information and the resources are shared between the family members (communication isn't used often). In this cases (these families) communication tend to be rare and the rules of the family are usually strict and not just, working in the favor of the parent authority 

In contrary, in a functional family, the system us open and the information and the ressources shred is shared through communication between the family 

Basically in dysfunctional families the rules are not said. They learn in silence. In function, the parent actually verbalizes the good and the wrong.

back on the dysfunctional family, the communication is so fragile and limited that the little things that are said are usually harsh, violent and painful to the child (for example the child is make a mistake, the parent will proceed with accusatory screaming or physical abuse)

Because of this, the children who got raised in such an environment learn to mold themselves to reach security. They are always weary of their environment and they tend to read people to accommodate and adapt their behaviors. 

Basically they learn to recognize a bad action and a good acio based on their parents' punishments and because of that they tend to always please others or provoke a better reaction in their counterpart to avoid the violence.

These children (from dysfunctional families) can develop four types of communication patterns when evolving with other people. Those are: 

“Appeased” : they are people pleasers and they will put a lot of effort in for that to happen during arguments. To be a good person they use extreme generosity by neglecting themselves and their needs (because their parents have neglected them so much so why shouldn't they do the same?)

“Accuser”: A mirroying of narcissistic parenting/ defensive category. People like that will try to manipulate the situation and turn the tables to avoid being on the receiving pain end. They try to be a good person by using reverse psychology 

“Congruent”: the person is aware of their surroundings, they are aware of signals that can be potentially triggering. These types of people when arguments happen tend to use verbal and non verbal communication at the same type to smooth the situation and avoid being hit. more of a “fight” response to avoid panic and be a good person.

“Evasive”: they are usually people that often retreat in arguments. They will keep themselves shut because they have learnt that speaking will bring them more pain so they usually try to keep themselves shut and repress emotions in order to be the good person. some of them can also use humor as a mechanism 

Usually people that are always questioning their worth as a good people come mostly from a dysfunctional family weather neglect and violence were the main resource and where the people had to learn strategies to survive in that environment

if you are interested in more of these topics you can check the works of Virginia Satir and Karen Horney

So what can we do?

We cannot allow the limited perceptions of others define us

You need to understand that you have lost touch with your inner self in order to avoid conflict. the important here is to learn that arguments and conflicts are often necessary to solve the issues and they are important to communicate feelings and that one should not stop putting their fears first and take time to open up

now this is hard but with therapy and the right relationship, this gets easier and those behavioral patterns can be changed

There’s also the need to stop blaming yourself for everything and prioritize your happiness. 

Learn to say no, learn to stand for yourself and believe that you are worth more than what the dysfunctional family provided. you are worth love

and no, you're not a bad person you are just hurt

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[elliesstrapon]

False Accusations

✧˚ · . Oblivious Ellie Williams x Devoted reader

"I was all over her.." ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧˚ · . Summary: In which your feelings couldn't be reciprocated.

✧˚ · . Warnings: Swearing, Friends to lovers, slow burn, light make outs, Ellie isn't in love with you, childhood friends, dorm mates, cheating

✧˚ · . Part 3

------------

✧˚ · . Part 2 ⬇️

Waking up was a blur.

You layed in bed, Ellie again still not there in the dorm with you, just a replacement message that'd said she was out to breakfast with Ava.. for the second time this week, and it was only Wednesday, your body already giving away, how you couldn't get up due to your first work out at the gym yesterday thanks to Ellie.

And she couldn't bother stay and ease you through the pain. "This girl..." You sighed, getting up weakly, your muscles tensing up, every inch of you sore.

You felt nothing but annoyed as you got ready for yet another long day of college. Throwing on but an overused outfit you wore atleast twice every week, the sleeves themselves becoming ridiculously stretched out, the string cursing to be ripped out like a dagger stuck in your side, to which, up until now, you never did, liking the top too much to scrunch the sleeves like that.

You somehow made it to your first lecture. Only really surviving it thanks to the efforts of Dina, and Jesse, switching between the messages, asking to meet up after your third period when you'd all finally be together; including Ellie.

We have major shit to discuss!!

That party on Friday!

Jesse actually wants to go?

You raised your brow, the idea of Jesse actually wanting to do something social for once making you feel repulsed.

He doesn't have a choice..

All of us are going, even Ellie.

I thought she didn't wanna go?

It's about Ava..

Always is, isn't it?

You rolled your eyes, finding no more joy in talking to anyone, you apologized quickly to Dina, flipping your phone, and putting it back into your bag.

You couldn't do this again, Ellie in another fucked up relationship. Within three days Ava blew up and flooded your entire existence. Everyday just another excuse for Ellie not to show up at the dorm to be with you but instead with someone she'll never cross paths with again on that momentum. If she was going to be with way, 6 years ago you would've told yourself being in love with her was not worth it.

You gloomly watched the time go by, the clock so slow it almost made your mind explode from anticipation, not only that, but Ava. 3rd period would be where it all goes down, in your seats would not be you and Ellie, just Ava, and Ellie, you'd been in that class for 2 years, and had never once heard the name "Ava" you couldn't muster up any words, nor coherent thoughts that explained what you were feeling about all this. You drew on the hard surface before you, leaving the pencil stains across it like a mark and then packed up, rubbing your eyes exhaustedly.

Your second class had been the exact same, the same students raising their hands and talking, speaking too much irrelevant information. Whilst you sat there with your hand on your lap, just barley comprehending. And to your dismay, also missing Ellie.

Or rather, you missed Ellie before these horrificly mind playing feelings for her sprouted in the depths of your heart. And when she wasn't nearly such a push over with almost every other woman on campus. You entirely blamed it on the coming ending of 9th grade.

When she finally learnt how to play your favorite song on her guitar.

She talked about it at school all the time, how it was a work in progress, that you couldn't listen till she mastered your favorite song to play for you, that you always thought stupid, especially now, that your feelings were so strong because of her dedication to you. You slept at her house that night, staying up late into the dark, you sat silently on the floor, watching as she adjusted herself at the foot of her bed, nervously tuning the guitar while the moon light flooded her bedroom, clashing with her fairy lights. " 'm nervous" she mumbled, her hair falling from behind her ear that was painted a shy pink, it spreading to her cheeks. "Don't be!" You assured her, a smile so sweet on your lips. "You've been talking about this for months, I'm happy you're finally deciding to show me" she pursed her lips, warming up her fingers, her eye lashes fluttering when she looked down to the strings, her breathing uneven. "Okay.." her voice hoarse and shakey. Her finger strum the corde gently, the sound ringing through the room like a melody.

The tune filled your ears, every strum strong, steady, your heart throbbed at the persecuted cordes, you silently watched, her fingers nipping and sliding against the strings, the practicing had payed off, clearly putting so much time into it, her eyes squinting, so very focused on her hand work.

The soft spoken sound of her voice began to rope in with her guitar, every word relaxing and pleasing. It was like the wind, the slight breath of air she took after a long sentence, her words falling silent at the ending vowels, her bracelets clinking just under the tone of her voice. Its when the butterflies at the pit of your stomach picked up, your lower abdomen tingling when you reached, rubbing it with your hand. After that, your heart began to flutter around her, your pupils practically shaping into hearts when you saw her, all from that small experience, where it felt like you were her everything, like you were her person, the one she'd give away her short life to, that's what it felt like, in the moments you were her only interest, when she calmed you down during an anxiety attack, or held your hand when you were too scared to get lost, or even when she held you at sleepovers during the cold nights.

Alas, you were now only sitting in your third lecture. The crooked thought of her grin when she'd finished playing the guitar for you slipping away from your mind when she whispered into your ear about how she'd caught Ava staring at least 4 times now. "If you were out to breakfast with her, you two could've been foaming out the mouth for eachother beside eachother." You scoffed. "I mean, who walks into class together, after a date, and not sit beside eachother?" You groaned, resting your head on your hot palm. Her whispers tickling your skin. "Wanted t'sit with you" she smiled, a dorky look on her face. "Oh, how kind, the so lovely Ellie Williams, chose me, over her beautiful love" you teased, "you should' feel 'special" her toothy grin only growing wider as she layed her head on your shoulder. "Oh, no, I'm honoured." Your bones tensing at her touch. You ignored how she repeatedly turned her head to the long haired brunette, her devilish eyes twinkling whenever Ellie stole another glance at her. You almost felt sick. "Y'think she's jealous?" She chuckled into your arm. "Gosh, I don't know Ellie, I wonder how she feels watching her little crush lay her head on the shoulder of another" you sighed. "Bet she's..." She trailed off, "uh, so... Last night, y'left the gym, y'seemed really upset, are y'sure your 'right?" Her eyes looking up at you, hints of worry traced within her tone. "Yes Ellie, I'm fine" you cleared your throat. "I was just sore, and tired, and you seemed just about done too, so, I left" you whispered. "If y'say so, I dunno... Y'just seem sad" she nodded. "I'd hate if I'made y'upset" she huffed, her hot breath hitting your chest like a wall. "I'm fine, don't worry" you smiled, your heart collapsing on itself at the thought of her caring about you, understanding you. You patted her head gently, momentarily forgetting about Ava.

Before you knew it, you, Jesse, Ellie, and Dina were walking down the street, planning your weekend excessively. "So... Jesse, you have no choice but to be at the party" Dina chuckled evilly. "Yeah, 'I'guess so." He sighed. "I don't even think I wanna go anymore" you crossed your arms. "Why not?!" Dina cried, stopping midway to grab your shoulders firmly. "Y'know why.." you lowered your voice. "Oh, please, just forget about it, for me?!" She pouted, "fine" you smiled playfully.

"Agh, great! Party on Friday all of us!"

Short and boring chapter cause this is a necessary part to the storyline 🤞🏽 also short cause Im tired 😭.. sorry lovelys <33

[laura1633]

hi laura, sorry to disturb, i had a really shitty day and was wondering if you had a cute little lestappen snippet or prompt, like pure sappy love? nothing much, really, only some cute words so my brain switches off ✨ thanks a lot, have a lovely night <3

Hi anon, so sorry to hear you've had a shitty day. I really hope you at least get to relax this evening and are able to switch off from things.

I don't really have anything written like that but I have tried to write a very quick few words for you, just some Max and Charles being in love. Sorry it's so rushed and maybe not quite what you were looking for but hopefully it helps just a little.

Sending lots of love <3

Charles is half asleep when he hears the click of the front door. The Monegasque’s eyes fly open and for the briefest of moments he freezes and listens to the footsteps as they approach his room. 

“Max,” Charles squints his eyes to make sure he is seeing things properly, “You’re not meant to be back until tomorrow.” 

“I didn’t want to spend another night without you, I have to go back in the morning for a few hours,” Max says simply as he slips off his jacket and then makes quick work of the rest of this clothes, stripping right down to his boxer briefs before clambering on to the bed. 

“You came back just to sleep next to me?” Charles looks at Max in amusement, he’s meant to be in the UK doing simulator work. He’s most definitely not meant to be in Monaco until at least tomorrow evening. 

“Of course,” Max grins, “Bad for the environment I know, but very good for me, I don’t like sleeping without you next to me.” 

Charles’ heart flutters.

“So do I get a kiss for my effort?” Max brings his hands up to cup Charles’ face, kissing him slowly, lips soft where they massage against the Monegasque’s. 

Max is a good kisser. Charles hadn’t expected him to be quite so tender with it. Sure in the heat of the moment things can get a little more adventurous but in moments like these Max treats him like the most precious thing on earth. There may have been a time Charles would have despised that, the feeling of being weak or fragile. Not anymore. Now he can’t wait for Max’s soft touch against his face and delicate press of lips. 

“You really came back just to sleep here?”

“I really did,” Max grins, “You know you look so cute when you’re all sleepy” 

Charles feels his cheeks heating up. 

“And cute when you blush,” Max hums, “So cute that when I leave tomorrow I’m just going to scoop you up and put you in my pocket.”

“Stop it” Charles giggles, more playful than protest, he is actually rather a fan of Max’s cutesy talk. 

“I can’t stop it,” Max strokes a hand through Charles’ hair, “It’s your fault for making me feel like this.”

“Feel like what?” Charles bites at his lips, whoever said the excitable butterflies would fade with time is lying, he’s just as giddy in Max’s arms as he always was. It’s nice to feel protected, loved, cared for. 

“Feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” Max grins, “and I know that is sappy or whatever, I just… last night I was in bed alone and I missed you.” 

“I missed you to,” Charles admits as he leans across and pecks Max against the lips before nosing along his jaw. If there is one thing Charles has learnt it is that it’s nice not just to feel loved and cared for but to also feel in love and want to care for someone else. With Max he has that. Max is broad and strong and looks fierce on track but he’s soft and kind and Charles just wants to see him happy. 

Max settles down on his side, his forehead pressed against Charles’, soft little kisses dropping between the two of them as their legs tangle together under the covers.

“Lets do this for the rest of our lives” Max says contentedly, “Me and you, lets do this forever.” 

“Forever,” Charles hums delighted.

They came into this world just 16 days apart, they grew up in each other’s orbit, the universe pulled them together and nobody is ever going to pull them apart.