#but like honestly i have been spiralling all day. i am doing sooooo bad man.

[euelios]

got into a fight about DEI hirings causing the plane issues in the US and like honestly

what burns is that there’s no fucking way to ever talk sanely and normally to these people about world issues ever again. not when i know im always going to lose to some fucking—cishet white man MAGAt

and it’s like—it’s not even an ethical thing! she doesn’t even vote in the fucking country she LIVES IN. i would keep TRYING if it was political but no she’s just enchanted by donald trump and tbh. i don’t know if im going to be able to get past being passed over for a felon who would—if the 51st happens—want her canadian citizen ass deported back to the philippines

i’m a DEI hire you stupid fuck. a queer first-gen immigrant POC with a diagnosed neurodiversity. she thinks that i would be good enough for anyone to take me on merit but doesn’t fucking understand that they would fire me for those exact reasons. no matter how hard i tried, they would ONLY ever see me as the things they don’t like. you would only ever see me as the thing you learned not to like.

it doesn’t MATTER how good you are. you will never ever ever be One Of The Good Ones.

[youngreckless]

hi there, it’s the anon who asked for relationship advice (i couldn’t come up with any nickname so it’s up to you how you call me haha)!

so, first things first: i didn’t write to him BUT i plan to tomorrow. i wanted to thank you for your kind words. they were part of the reason why i decided to do it.

the thing about my avoidance of romantic relationship was that i had (have?) pretty low self esteem & i knew that it was not healthy for me to commit to someone beyond friendship. i went to therapy & tried out lots of different activities, found new hobbies and so on & i’m actually pretty proud of the progress i made. while i’m still sometimes spiraling as we could tell by the party situation, i can now shake it off more easily and there’s always a part of me that’s aware of the irrationality of these kinds of thoughts. for a long time i was longing for a romantic relationship, even though i knew i wasn’t ready for it. but the thing is that i wanted validation coming from being in a relationship and not the relationship itself. i was working on it for months if not years but only several weeks ago have i truly changed my mindset into “i don’t need anyone to validate me, i’m great the way i am” and i stopped viewing every man as a potential partner first, and a friend second. maybe that’s why i felt such connection with this guy - bc when i met him my mind didn’t automatically jump into “potential boyfriend material” & i wasn’t stressing abt it. well.

i think i kinda subconsciously decided that i’m gonna text him pretty quickly after the party but i needed time to process my feelings & get some courage - in which you among others helped. so thank you for that again.

i finally realised (ok, that’s a bad choice of a word… i mean, i was aware of it but i didn’t fully believe it, if that makes sense?) that if i get rejected it’s not personal and it doesn’t take away my worth. besides, we are in different social circles & the stage of our relationship is really early so rejection wouldn’t even affect my life too much. i only can gain something. and, like you said, i’m trying not to get my hopes up, and while it is a bit hard, i fully believe that i’ll be okay with “only” friendship too bc it is just as valuable as romantic connection. and even if it won’t work out or he won’t respond or sth, well, i tried. and hey, i’ve got a nice life already, one hypothetical relationship won’t change that. so… there’s no reason not to write, other than my dumb insecurities that have been proven to be wrong over and over again by so many people that i should be over them by now. i know it doesn’t work like that; it’s a journey, but a one that i’m willing to take and texting him is definitely a step in the right direction when it comes to my self-confidence. i like, maybe even love, myself most of the time, and hate only sometimes so… yay me?

sorry, i feel like i’m rambling. it’s just, i talked it over with some of my friends (and with myself ofc haha) but it feels good to write it down and sort it out kinda. lots of love!

ahhh hello sweetie! so good to hear from you again!! it makes me very happy to know that you felt my inbox was a safe enough place to write it all down in. 🥺💛 i always wanted my inbox to be a safe space!!

alright, first of all, i just want you to know how incredibly proud of you and your progress i am. like, SOOOOO proud. <3

all the best for it, love!! i'm glad i was able to help you, even a little bit. and it's okay to have self-esteem issues. and it's okay if you still have low days. remember that healing is never linear. <3

honestly, i don't have much to say. everything that you said, makes me very happy to hear that. you already know your worth doesn't depend on one relationship, or rejection. i'm so proud of you.

and yes, friendship is absolutely just as much valuable and important as a relationship. a romantic relationship isn't something more than friendship. it's not a hierarchy. and like you said, either way, you gain something!

anyway, i love you and i am veryyyy proud of you. <3 keep giving me updates bestie!!! 😘