#but let's hear everyone's defence for why taylor knows him best

[sunflowerinthekitchen]

"I asked him about the podcast. He’d been doing so much promo, he told me, that he wanted to do something that felt more like simply talking with his friends. But, of course, he had done this all in public, on mike. Had he baited his fans on purpose? “A little bit,” he said. “But it doesn’t actually matter. Nobody is sitting there at night slumped at their computer, and their boyfriend comes over and goes, ‘What’s wrong, darling?’ and they go, ‘It’s just this thing with Matty Healy.’ That doesn’t happen.”

“Maybe it does,” I said.

“If it does,” he said, “you’re either deluded or you are, sorry, a liar. You’re either lying that you are hurt, or you’re a bit mental for being hurt. It’s just people going, ‘Oh, there’s a bad thing over there, let me get as close to it as possible so you can see how good I am.’ And I kind of want them to do that, because they’re demonstrating something so base level.”

let me once again repeat:

FUCK MATTY HEALY

[headheartbellarke]

I Wish You Would | CHARLIE GILLESPIE

Requested by anon: “hello🌼 could u please write a charlie x reader imagine when he posts a picture on his instagram story with a girl to makes his crush jealous, but she end up distancing herself from him bc she's hurt and respect what she thinks is his relationship” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 2,445 WARNING(s): angst w a happy ending, some language SUMMARY: “I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live."

A/N: hi, everyone!! really, really sorry that this took so long. haven’t had the best march tbh, and writer’s block is a bitch. && this isn’t very good, either, but i had to get something done. love u <3

TEN HOURS EARLIER

“And… post!” Charlie taps his phone, grinning brightly.

Owen cheers from behind him, his voice meshing into the humdrum of the bar they’re currently at. “I’m so proud of you!”

His friend laughs, spinning around in the bar stool to face him. “She’ll finally understand what it feels like!”

Owen nods frantically, taking another sip of the drink in his hand.

Charlie copies his movement – a part of him knows that he is absolutely hammered, but the bigger part of him doesn’t care. He’s had a long day, and he deserves this.

Besides, how else would he and his best friend have thought of this wonderful plan if they didn’t have a billion drinks in their system?

PRESENT

A knock on the door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. “Come in!” She yells, but her voice comes out feeble and hoarse, probably from all the crying she’s been doing for the past hour.

As the door swings open, her best friend, Savannah, pokes her head in. “Hey, babe. You all right?”

Y/N sniffs. “M’fine.”

Savannah enters the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walks to the window, opening the curtains, and Y/N groans when light floods into the previously dark room.

She sits on the bed beside Y/N, and Y/N rests her head on her shoulder as she pulls the covers up to cover their bodies.

“I’m sure that they’re not dating.” Savannah says, wrapping an arm around her best friend.

Y/N chuckles sadly. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Sav. I mean, in the photo, he was kissing her cheek. Literally. And he put a heart between them.”

Savannah sighs. “That’s so not Charlie, you know… kissing random girls in bars and posting pictures with them.”

“Yeah, that’s so not Charlie, because she’s not a random girl. Her name’s Francesca and she went to high school with him, so, technically, she’s known him longer, and probably better than me.”

“I – I had no idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Y/N, babe, just tell him about how you feel. I’m sure that he likes you too.”

“If he liked me, then he wouldn’t be kissing Francesca!”

Y/N exhales, as Savannah gulps, not knowing what to respond. “Y/N, I – I swear, he’s crazy about you. I don’t know what happened between last Friday and today, but I swear – the Charlie that I know – has eyes for no one but you.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart at Savannah’s words. “Savannah, we kissed and then he ghosted me for a day and now he’s posting pictures of him kissing another girl! I think he has eyes for everyone!”

Savannah bites her lower lip, not knowing what to respond, again. Her best friend feels tears prick at the back of her eyes when she says, “Maybe I’m a bad kisser.”

Savannah’s eyes widen, and she sits up, straight. “No. No. Babe, no. Don’t say that, ever. You’re a great kisser, okay! You’re an amazing kisser. Your lips are fine as hell, believe me. He’s the one with crusty ass lips. They’re not even lips, they look like… like… peanuts.”

Y/N stares at her best friend for a moment, before saying, “Peanuts, Sav? Really?”

“It’s the first thing that came into my mind!” She says defensively, before the girls break into a fit of laughter.

“I’m never talking to him again, ever.” Y/N says after they’ve calmed down. “I’m never even gonna look in his direction. Fucking asshole.”

*

Charlie sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. It’s eight in the morning, and he’s normally a morning person – he loves the mornings, the peace, the quiet, and the feeling that comes along with it more than anything, but right now, he just feels… sad.

On regular days, he would be talking to his best friend, Y/N, about everything that’s on his mind. But today’s different.

Last Friday, Y/N kissed him, and long story sort, it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. After work that day, they went to get some food at a drive through, like they usually do. All throughout the ride, they made plans to go hiking once the production for season two finishes. She drove the car to a lookout, and oh, god, it was so pretty. The midnight sky was littered with stars, and since they were at the edge of town, there was less pollution, and they could see bits of the galaxy, too.

But, for some reason, the girl next to him seemed more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen, and after they finished eating, he just sat and stared at her talk about the last book that she’d read, for a while. He knows that it was terrible that he wasn’t listening – but how could he pay attention to anything when she looked like that, especially with passion illuminating her face like times square on New Year’s Eve?

She had looked at him as if he’d just grown a third head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Li – like what?” He’d asked, embarrassed to be blatantly caught.

“Like that…” She’d said and kissed him, and it felt like he was seeing colour for the first time. Although, the next day, everything turned to shit.

Now, it’s Monday, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He desperately wants to know if his and Owen’s plan actually worked (no reason that it wouldn’t), and he feels so impatient right now, and he misses her. Also, his massive hangover isn’t helping, either.

He hears his name being called, and sees Kenny smiling at him.

“Hey, so we’re gonna do a different scene today, since Y/N and Savannah are out, is that okay with you?”

His heart races. “What happened to them?”

“Y/N’s sick, and Savannah’s taking care of her.”

“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay with me.” He says, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

*

“This is the last time I’m asking you this…” Y/N sings, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Put my name at the top of your list!” Savannah sings, using Y/N’s straightener as a mic.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why!” Madison joins.

“You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye!” Jadah sings, jumping on the bed.

As the second verse comes on, the girls sit on Y/N’s bed, huddled close to each other.

“You know, I’m feeling better now than I did when I woke up.” Y/N says, resting her chin on her knees.

“Taylor Swift can fix anything.” Madison says, leaning her head on Y/N’s shoulder.

She nods. “And y’all. Thanks for being here.”

Jadah grins, wrapping an arm around her. “We couldn’t let you have a pity party all alone!”

Savannah laughs. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear.”

“As relieving as that would be, don’t. I’ve decided what I should do.”

Madison quirks a brow. “You’re gonna kill him yourself?”

“Madi! No. I’m gonna distance myself.”

Savannah tilts her head. “I think that maybe you two should talk it out.”

“I don’t think so. I need space, time to figure it out. My head feels like a mess. And I respect him and Francesca, and I’m not gonna dip my toes between them.”

The other girls solemnly nod their head.

“You do realize that that’s not actually the saying?” Jadah says, after a while.

“Don’t embarrass me, kid.”

*

Charlie exhales, watching his breath crystallize to tiny ice particles in front of him. Even though, he’s a Canadian, he still feels cold. Although maybe it’s not due to the weather, but due to the coldness in Y/N’s eyes.

He watches her chat with Jeremy a few feet away, both of them discussing something that is out of bounds to him. He knows that it’s probably decisions regarding their characters, considering Y/N’s character is Jeremy’s character, Reggie’s love interest, but a part of him feels like it’s shit about him.

He has no reason to feel that way, of course. He hasn’t spoken to Y/N in four days, and this morning, when he saw her after for what feels to be eternity, he was blatantly ignored. He had only watched helplessly as Y/N exited the room the moment he entered and had sunk into his chair feeling like absolute shit, especially with everyone’s pitiful stares.

Charlie’s mind keeps replaying each moment, torturing over every tiny detail, wondering what he did wrong.

And that’s when it hits him: she really doesn’t want him anymore.

Last Saturday, he had hopelessly watched her with her long-term boyfriend of god-knows-how-long – he had come to surprise her on set, and it was Charlie that was more surprised. Because he thought that they were over, for good. And it wasn’t like they seemed like they weren’t dating. They were acting just like they used to when they were dating, and he was too close to her for his comfort. They still laughed the same, joked around the same, and were just as inseparable as they used to be.

A question kept rising in Charlie’s mind, like an icicle to his heart: why would she kiss him when she already had someone else? Why would she give him hope, and then take it all away? Why would she dangle his hurt in front of him?

So, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, and posted a picture with Francesca, his high school friend, who he had run into that night.

Owen sinks into the chair beside Charlie. “You okay?”

“I’m starting to believe that our plan didn’t work.”

*

“Hey, uh, Y/N?”

The girl in question hears Charlie’s voice, and turns around, avoiding looking into his eyes.

“Can we talk?” He says, and for a moment, her defences are down again. He looks so… tired, almost like he’s going through the same things that she is. Almost like there’s an explanation as to why he broke her heart, why he ruined something that had the potential to be extraordinary, why he made her feel so bad about herself.

And she almost believes it, too. Like the fool she is.

She presses her lips into a thin line, and says, “Nothing to talk about.”

As Charlie opens his mouth to protest, she smiles and walks away.

*

“Okay, Charlie, you two need to talk it out. This is too much. Both of you are obviously hurting, and there’s obviously some serious miscommunication here.”

Charlie shakes his head at Savannah’s words. “She hates me.”

“No. She could never hate you.” She says, thrusting her phone in Charlie’s face. His eyes squint to read the text on the screen – from Y/N.

Sorry – forgot to leave a note. Drove down to Dad’s, gonna stay here for a while. It’s too painful – honestly, you know what? I’m still very, very, very mad at him. But I’m also missing him very, very, very much. So, I need to flush it out. Flush him out. He might be a jerk, but he’s still one of the best people that I’ve ever met. Love you, okay? Will return when the time is right.

Charlie’s eyes widen, and he stares at Savannah’s face for a while. “There – there is still hope!”

She nods frantically. “You should call her –”

“I’m gonna drive down to her dad’s house, too!”

“That works, too.”

*

A frantic knock on the front door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. She stops typing on her keyboard, and flips the lid shut, keeping it on the dining table in front of her.

She runs to her dad’s door, knowing that it’s him, back from his shopping. She opens the door, saying, “Let me take those for – Charlie?!”

Y/N’s heart swells at his sight as he grins sheepishly.

“So, there’s been some misunderstandings… can I come in?” He asks, and Y/N pauses, considering.

He sighs, and adds, “Please?”

She stares at him.

He juts his bottom lip out. “Pretty please?”

“Fine, come in.”

He closes the door behind him, wordlessly following Y/N, who feels like she might hurl right now. They sit on the couch, and it’s really, really awkward for a few seconds.

Y/N sighs. “You said you –”

“Yes. Yes, yeah. OK, so – I, uh, I –”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Why would you do that to me? Do I really mean that little to you?”

“I could say the same about you!”

“Really?”

“Yes! I saw you with Shahid that day, I know that you two are back together –”

“Shahid?!”

“Yes!”

She stares at him, baffled.

“So…so… Francesca….”

“I only posted the picture to make you jealous! She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and the rest of my high school friends, and of course I went, and she saw that I was being a little… unsocial. So, I told her about how the girl that I’m completely crazy about has a boyfriend! And a long term one at that, too! And then Owen came up with a brilliant plan, and I guess you know what it was. Now, I’m realizing that it might not have worked.”

She stares at him for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. Charlie throws her a confused look.

“You – you thought that Shahid – Shahid, my best friend since we were in nappies, Shahid who is married to this amazing man, and at whose wedding I was the maid of honour – you thought that I was dating him?”

“He’s gay?!”

“Bisexual. Oh my god, I have to tell him. This is hilarious.”

Charlie bites the corner of his lower lip, feeling his cheeks heat up. “This is really embarrassing. But you two act like you’re dating!”

“No, we don’t. You’re just being insecure and jealous. I’ve known him forever, and yes, I am the most comfortable around him. Because he’s my family. He’s my brother. Oh, god, I can’t believe that you were jealous of him – wait, have you thought that we were dating this whole time?”

“Kind of. I thought you guys broke up when he didn’t visit you on set during the first two months of production.”

“He was helping feed kids in Somali.”

“Oh. Oh. God, I feel so –”

“Dumb? That’s because you are.”

He grins sheepishly, his cheeks crimson.

Y/N smiles. “But I forgive you. And I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a proper date this time.”

“Deal. Also, promise that we’ll always talk it out before… you know… doing anything?”

She laughs, and nods. He wraps his pinkie finger around hers.

“Well, Owen’s plan did kind of work, though.”

[nouvelis]

continued from here, ft. tida chiang @shimmerseas.

dumbfounded. for a few short moments, he wonders if he missed something– something very major; more than a little bit important. ( how could it be possible: to miss not just Seoah falling in love with him, but also, out of it? could he go through life not noticing any of that– ?! only he could be that oblivious... ) but finally, he gets ahold of himself: shakes the stupor of confusion out of his last braincell. it clicks: she was a WRITER, after all. what did song-writers write about more than anything else? love, of course...   

he stumbles into an answer, finally, no longer staring at Seoah wordlessly with a furrowed brow, brain playing the Jeopardy Theme Song as he desperately tried to make sense of her words – the how, the why, the specifics of this timeline of love and loss, the complete impossibility of her liking him, all of it – no, surprised curiosity takes over instead. “ oh. what’s that? a song? ” lyrics, probably: not some kind of sad confession of fading love...

but damn. even knowing that now, he finds himself oddly shaken by words that weren’t even meant for him. the true mark of a skilled writer: she almost made him believe in – and grieve for – someone else’s love story; whatever poor soul inspired this song. or maybe he’s just too scared, at the thought of hearing those words from someone for real, more susceptible to the mere suggestion of them than most... a quirk of a relieved grin, as he jokingly sympathizes.  “ 'kinda glad I’ve never dated someone whose a singer. imagine the song everyone’s bumping is about how much your ex is over you, and you have to hear it like two hundred times a day. sucks to be that guy. ”  but, if they did something bad enough to earn a Taylor-Swift-style callout through song, maybe they deserved their fate.  “ but I guess there’s worse ways to get broken up with – like a text. ” at least they had to put effort into a song...

“oh, sorry — did i scare you?” seoah lets out an abashed chuckle once she realises what she has done, pulled out from the trance by tida’s string of questions. it is a strange habit, though perhaps one shared by many writers. scribbling songs in her head as her mind drifts past the sea of memories and half-finished conversations, uttering words that she doesn’t mean to divulge to listening ears. “it is, i was just thinking out loud.” astonishing her company when they are in the middle of preparing for dinner probably isn’t the best idea, not when chopping boards and knives are being used. 

her gaze drops the the pieces of vegetables on the chopping board from the ensuing ramble, she listens intently and offers a faint nod in response. while it is not a rare opinion, she cannot explain the twinge that twitches in her chest as he says it. or maybe she can, she just doesn’t want to admit it. not to him, not even to herself. why bother starting something that can never stand a chance? she likes them enough like this, him with his silly jokes and her with her mouthful of thoughts that he hasn’t grown tired of. it is better this way, for them to remain friends when the alternative has the potential to be so devastatingly ruinous. 

“right — it does suck to be that guy.” another nod as she bites her bottom lip and buries the words unsaid. words that are better left unsaid. she wonders, for a second, if tida can spot the nuances in her song on a hopeless crush that is far beyond her reach. her gaze continues to avoid his, she picks up the bowl of carrot slices and throws them into the pot of boiling water. she watches as bubbles rise and dissipate in the water, swallows the feelings that bubble at the base of her throat. “but isn’t it kind of nice, in a way? to matter that much to someone, enough to have your love immortalised in a song?” she says in defence of all songwriters and blinks away all personal sentiments regarding the matter. “then again, i’m very biased.”

[doof-doofblog]

“It’s Wrecking Us!”

Tuesday 24th March 2020

Good Evening folks! How has your Tuesday been? I hope you've been able to keep yourself entertained during our time in lock-down! I'm sure you've all been looking forward to EastEnders this evening as much as I have! Shall we get right to it?!

I thought it was a good episode tonight, let's start at the beginning. Sharon clearly had no idea Ian that blackmailed Karen into leaving with Kayden. I was so hoping Karen was going to convince Sharon to reconsider and take Kayden back once she was good and really, however long that may take. I'm curious whether Sharon will wonder why Ian blackmailed her? Maybe that will be a conversation that will happen in the next few episodes? When Karen first mentioned it, you could see the look of confusion on Sharon's face as she peaked through the door. Sharon has so much support around her but it looks as if she really doesn't care anymore, it was sad when she spoke about people not deserving to be parents, it's obvious she was speaking about herself. I found that quite upsetting, it's really sad to hear those words come from her, she did everything she could for Dennis when he was alive, she doted on her son, it's a crying shame she can't feel the same way about Kayden. How will she ever be able to get through Dennis's funeral, I have a horrible feeling that episode is going to be a tough one to watch!  

Awwww, does anyone else feel proud of Linda for standing up to Shelley?! I sure as hell do!! It's been a long time coming for her, that's for sure, I'm so happy Linda put her in her place! I know it was just a small part of the soap but it was a moment that really stood out for me! It was lovely to see the old Linda back and sticking up for herself! Even when Mick showed his love for her, it was just so sweet to see! I hope this is the Mick and Linda we'll be seeing again for the foreseeable!

Ooooh also a bit more of flirting between Habiba and Jags! I don't know whether i'm finding it funny or sweet ... possibly both! They are both quite quirky characters, I think they would gel really well as a couple! Will it even get that far? Will it just be a bit of innocent flirting? We know they're due to spend a night together and possible share a kiss, will that lead to a more permanent relationship? What are your opinions on the possible new romance? Do you think Habiba and Jags suit each other? Let me know what you guys take on these two, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Awwww man, does any else feel for Whitney? How is she going to get back some form of normality? I mean, yes, it's good she's finally out of prison and is eating again (Even though she threw it back up) ... but what she said is right, how can she feel safe in her own home after what happened there? I mean, did you guys see the way she jumped out of her skin as the doorbell rang?! This is going to be a long journey for her to overcome, yes Leo is dead and her trail will be in 9 weeks time, but she'll probably feel like she'll be looking over her shoulder all the time? Will she possibly get counselling to help her move forward? I know i'm asking loads of questions, its just the thoughts going through my head. One thing is for sure she has a long way to go to overcome what she has been through. I was happy to finally see her eat something! I was hoping she'd be back eating something when she'd be free from prison ... thing is though, is there a chance she could possibly go back? She's due a trial right, could she still go to prison for murder or manslaughter? Or will the court actually listen and realise it was all self defence?! Ooooo so many questions about this story-line, i'm really looking forward to seeing how EastEnders continue with Whitney's story-line!

Awww gosh, Ballum were sad tonight! Oh, if only Kathy had keep sh-tum about Ben's possibility of cheating on Callum. Did you see the look on Callum's face?! I mean, he didn't but I think the intention was there! But would Ben ever forgive himself if he did? But luckily we don't have to worry about that as he didn't cheat on his boyfriend! But the look on Callum's face was devastating, after all they have been through including the boat crash, you can understand Callum's disappointment and feeling upset. What is it going to take for Ben to actually realise he loves Callum?! To be honest, I think he knows he already does, but perhaps he feels scared to say anything yet? When they were having that argument in the kitchen, you could both see how they were both hurting in different ways. Callum feels that Ben doesn't care that much about him at all, his recent behaviour hasn't been the best recently, but then again, how else is he supposed to react to losing his hearing? It's a difficult one I feel, Callum is doing all he can to support Ben and yet his boyfriend is just lashing out in anger because that's the only way he knows how to react ... he's scared, upset, frustrated ... lashing out is only the way Ben can cope! I think Jack spoke some true words to Ben, will he really take his advice and keep a straight head now?! When they were arguing, Ben was constantly say "I'm sorry!" ... did you see his look of panic when Callum said he couldn't carry on with it all, Ben does not want to lose him! He needs Callum! Ben's hearing loss is another hard story-line to watch and I think EastEnders and Max Bowden are portraying it brilliantly! When Ben broke down crying"I'm sorry!" Callum knew he couldn't walk away, Ben needs him now more than ever. For a moment, I did think Ben was going to shout out those three little words ... we know that moment is coming, and I for one, can't wait to see it when it happens! I can't wait to see the look on Callum's face when Ben says the words he's been longing to hear! Does anyone know when that will happen? After tonight's episode, it's got to be pretty soon right?!

Ahh, so Karen is considering the possibility of leaving with Kayden? I don't really want to see Karen leave, and personally, I don't think she will. If she does come to the decision, I believe something will stop her in her tracks and she'll stay in Walford with her family and bring up baby Kayden into the Taylor household. Can anyone tell me why Keegan looked as if he was the only one who didn't want his Mum to leave? Everyone else seemed understanding, as Bernie put it, baby Kayden is the one who needs looking after right now. We know Keegan is struggling right now, after the way he was treated by police due to the colour of his skin etc, but does anyone feel like he's kinda responsible for Bailey feeling upset? It was Keegan who had words with Mitch about it in the first place, do you think he probably feels guilty for putting those thoughts into Bailey's head that she can't achieve anything?! I think so! (Although I could be wrong). I'm kinda glad Ian told him, basically "Welcome to adulthood!" ... and THANK YOU TIFFANY .... I have been saying this for a while now, I feel the same as Tiffany, I don't get why Keegan is feeling like the colour of his skin is some form of disability! I had no idea that that kind of thing was still happening, if it is, then i'm shocked and I agree it shouldn't be! But she spoke some really true words there, "Every girl has had "The Talk" about what you should wear, where you can and cannot go!" and "Gingers" ... I had no idea society was still like that! I, personally, don't even look twice at a coloured person, because they are just the same as everyone else ... they have two eyes, one nose, two ears, one mouth, two arms and legs and feet just like the rest of us! They still breathe the same way as us, so why should the colour of their skin make them different?! I can kinda understand Keegan's frustration, but i'm glad Tiffany told him some home truths, I hope Keegan will kinda snap out of it now and really start focusing on his future and really trying hard to make something of his life, as he so wants!  

What did you make of tonight's episode? Sadly, that's all of EastEnders we'll have this week and we have to wait until next Monday now for the next episode. I hope you are all keeping yourself safe and staying home! Keep yourself clean and try and entertain yourself as much as possible during these hard times! We will get through this together! Hopefully EastEnders will be back on our screens as normal in a few weeks time? We can only hope, right?! Goodnight everyone! Keep safe! Please feel free to message me anytime you like, I'd love to hear your thoughts on anything EastEnders related! Love you all xXx

[wonwoosthetic]

Not Only In Love With His Car | Part One || Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor

MASTEERLIST is linked in my info box - I can’t put links on individual posts at the moment, otherwise they won’t show up here!

PART TWO also on my MASTERLIST

SO, I don’t know if I should try to excuse myself or not, but I just want to say that I’m incredibly thankful for every single one of you and to see that people still read my imagines and follow me although I haven’t been as active as I would have liked to!

THANK YOU!!!! <3

Just so you know, I combined two requests because I added one thing that changed the story slightly, I hope that’s okay. Don’t worry, I will write a lot more imagines about each of those amazing men because I love them! :)

Request: Hiii! Could you maybe write a R.Taylor (B.Hardy) x reader fanfic,maybe like they are secretly dating and the other members find out about it ? But if you don’t like the idea,you don’t need to.Basically,I it can be anything with R.Taylor

Request: Please can you write a Ben Hardy Rodger Taylor fic. I don’t have anything idea in particular so you have all creative control. I am just dying for more Ben Hardy imagines

Not Only In Love With His Car

— 3rd Person —

“What? Why?” Brian was just as confused as his two other friends that were staring at Roger with questioning looks on their face. “She wants to write her thesis about us. About… our story”, the blond explained. John spoke up, “But we don’t have a story to tell.” Roger pointed his finger at the bassist, “Not yet.”

The drummer was trying to convince his band members to let his “best friend” travel with them to the new recording studio, to spend more time with everyone since she apparently wanted to write her thesis for university about Queen. Brian was yet to be convinced, John was partly okay with it, and Freddie was sure there was more behind it but had not participated in the conversation yet.

“What do you think about it, Fred?” The guitarist turned to the lead singer. He shrugged and put his right hand on his hip, “I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. The people should know what we did.” A proud and wide grin started forming on Roger’s lips, as Freddie sent him a wink. “Alright”, Brian didn’t sound too excited about the idea of having a female on board – distraction and stuff -  but he knew, this argument was not his to win.

The truth was, Roger really just wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend of nine months. He hasn’t been the best boyfriend, that he would have liked to be, for the time they’ve been together – he felt as if he has been putting their relationship second, more times than acceptable. Though, his girlfriend was completely fine with his jump-starting music career and hasn’t even complained once, still… Roger has felt the guilt coming up and wants to change that. He wants to be the boyfriend every girl dreams to have. The only problem here: the rest of the band doesn’t actually know about the secret relationship their friend has been having – hence why it’s secret. Thankfully, this secret girlfriend is studying Journalism and has to find a bombing story for her thesis - what would be better than the story of Queen. She, more than any other person, was convinced, that the band was going to have its big breakthrough and would be soon touring through continents.

--- 2nd Person ---

It was you, Deacy, Brian and your boyfriend in one car, whereas Freddie and Paul, who you have learned to dislike slowly but surely, were driving ahead of you to the "recording studio". Holding Roger's hand in the back of the car, was the only thing that didn't keep you from completely losing it and having a panic attack from the excitement building up. "Thank you, again", you whispered into his ear. "You've said this exact phrase at least thirty times in the last twenty-four hours. You're absolutely welcome." Thankfully, the two other band members were in the two front seats, not able to see what was going on in the back between you two lovebirds. Driving up to an even dirtier road, only mud and more mud, the car came to a sudden hold. You took a glance outside the window, "Where are we?" Brian turned the car off, took the keys in his hand and opened the door, "Our studio for the next couple weeks... maybe months." Before following his action of getting out, your head turned back to your boyfriend who had just the same facial expression on his face as you - confusion. Freddie was already walking all over the place, checking everything out while Paul was taking out the luggage, ready to get them inside of the house. You were surrounded by the smell of... farm - that's the only thing that came to your mind. Roger was throwing sceptical glances all over the place, "Recording studio?" The other man carried two bags into the house, "Well, the idea was to get away from all the distractions." You, standing next to your boyfriend, spoke up next, "In Freddie's defence...", you looked around, taking it all in, "You do get away from all the distractions because there's literally nothing here." Roger nodded in agreement, eyes wide open.

All of us decided to follow Paul inside, carrying our own stuff after noticing that  Paul only put the lead singer's bags in the house. Before being able to put them down, Paul motioned for you to follow him further up the stairs - he tried to keep the mood light by making some jokes... it didn't work. "Roger, you're in here", he showed the blond to his room, getting a quick, "Alright", as a response - and then he was gone. "Freddie, this is you, biggest room. Brian, that's you", he stood still in the middle of the small hallway upstairs. Paul clapped his hands and shot you a look, "Yeah... (Y/N)... ehm... I was going to ask you, but probably forgot... you would be taking the living room. Is that okay?" "Yeah, of course", you truly were completely fine, yet your boyfriend wasn't, "Nah, she's gonna stay with me, the bed is big enough to fit three people in." Our "guide" nodded in agreement and left to show Deacy to his room... in the basement - how nice of him. You walked over to the blond head, "Roger, do you want to be any more obvious?", "What do you mean, obvious?" You only gave him a 'you-know-what-I-mean'-look as he kept on talking, "They won't suspect anything, come on", with a really hot head nod, he told you to get into the room, not caring if one of the members had seen it. Roger threw himself on the bed, bouncing right back up, making the both of you laugh. "Well, that's gonna be interesting to sleep in", he smirked, looking up to you. "It's not that bad", you tried making the situation of the actually quite... shit room at least a bit better. The drummer's grin only got wider, "I didn't mean bad, but loud", and with that, he grabbed your wrist and yanked you on the bed as well, making you fall on top of him, a loud laugh escaping from your lips - Roger's heartbeat sped up. His arms were tightly wrapped around your neck, nuzzling his face on top of your head, while your arms found their way around his waist. "You can't believe how happy I am to have you here." Your head turned upwards, looking him directly into his eyes - the only thing you saw was pure love and adoration. Not wanting to give him a verbal answer, you planted a kiss on his lips instead.

--- Later That Night ---

You woke up in the middle of the night by the sound of an angelic voice coming from, what sounded like, the attic above you. "Love of my life...", Freddie sang silently to himself, you thought. A smile formed on your lips, just hearing his voice made you happy. Your boyfriend's arms were tight around your waist as if he was scared you would leave him. You tried going back to sleep, using the singing as a soothing to make you sleepy, yet you were way too nosy not to go and check up on the lead singer - you promised Mary to keep an eye out for him. Carefully, you took Roger's hand and draped it over on to his side. He started turning away from you, his arm now close to himself. The squeaky bed was the next problem. Getting up from it was like trying to break into a museum and avoiding all of the red lasers. As soon as you stood up straight on your feet, you collected a bra, shirt,  pyjama sweats, and a pair of socks that were still in your suitcase since you didn't really get time to unpack it. After putting everything on, you opened the bedroom which was almost as squeaky as the bed. Thankfully, the stairs to the attic were not far from the room you were sleeping in, so you were able to hopefully not disturb anyone. Walking up, you started hearing two voices instead of only Freddie's. A couple steps up, you were able to peak into the room through the railing. It was a quite dark lit room with a lot of instruments all over the place and even a sofa, where... Paul was sitting. You scrunched your eyebrows together in confusion, watching him get closer to the singer, putting out his cigarette. Fred tried looking away, acting not to seem interested. All of a sudden, in the short moment that he looked up from his notes, Paul smashed his lips onto the other man's. A gasp escaped your lips, going unnoticed by the two. Your hand flew to your mouth, shutting yourself up. Your heart was beating uncontrollably, not understanding... rather, not wanting to believe, what you had just witnessed. As the thought of Mary shot in your head, tears started forming in your eyes. You had known Mary for as long as you had known Roger - very long. Not even wanting to imagine the pain she would be in if she knew what had just happened right in front of your own eyes. After trying to calm yourself down as much as possible, you made your way back to your shared bedroom. Silently tiptoeing back and closing the door behind you. "Where'd you go?" Roger's spoke up from his lying position looking up at you in the dark. You jumped up, "Oh gosh, you scared me, I thought you were asleep." You crawled back into the comfort of the sheets and your boyfriend's arms. "I was until I noticed you were gone", "Sorry Rog, I didn't want to wake you up", you excused yourself. "Where were you?" Even though you hated lying to him and wanted to tell him about what had happened, you couldn't - you couldn't do that to Freddie. Therefore, your answer was simple: "Just the bathroom." The blond led it slide, too tired to hear if you were telling the truth or not and went back to sleep peacefully now that you were back in his arms. You, on the other hand, were absolutely not able to sleep in any peaceful way. The shame, the guilt, the sadness, everything was swelling up inside of you, making it impossible for you to fall asleep for the following three hours.

--- The Following Morning ---

The sun, a cold feeling, but most importantly, shouting woke you up. Opening your eyes, you saw it was finally the morning. Turning around, you couldn't see Roger anymore, but by taking a look at the hanging clock on the wall across from you, you instantly knew why - it was ten o'clock and Roger was never the one to truly sleep in. The happenings of last night shot back into your mind, making you wince. After not being able to fall asleep, you came to the conclusion to confront Freddie. You didn't hate him for what happened, neither were you ever going to hate him, but still... he had to tell Mary - and that was what you would tell him. The shouting became louder, so you decided to get up properly and take a look downstairs. The first thing you heard as soon as your feet hit the ground floor was your boyfriend's voice, "You call me sweet like I'm some kind of cheese." Which was followed by Brian's mumbling. You entered the kitchen where all of the shouting voices came from and came to sight with Roger turned towards you, Brian and John's backs facing you, and Freddie in the corner. "When my hand's on your grease gun. It's very subtle", the guitarist read out loud, making you chuckle. "It's a metaphor, Brian!" Your boyfriend defended. John spoke up next, "It's just a bit weird, Roger. What exactly are you doing with that car?" You decided to step in, seeing that Roger was just about to explode, "Good morning guys." All of their heads turned into your direction, smiling and each one of them giving you a "Good Morning" back. The drummer let a little "Morning, babe" slip, and only Freddie noticed it. You walked behind the counter, arms crossed, and stopped right next to your secret boyfriend, "What's all of that shouting about?" Roger had already prepared a cup of coffee and handed it to you. "Rog wants his song to be on the album", the bassist explained. "And what's the problem with that?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm in love with my car." Brian's answer made you choke on your coffee. "What?" With raised eyebrows, you turned your head to the blond. "It's a metaphor!" He shouted once more. Freddie tried calming everyone down, but John had to make a comment about how most bands don't fail but break up. You shook your head, not believing what was happening - they were fighting like children. Your eyes drifted from one member to another one, following whoever was talking, well... still shouting actually. "Roger, there's only room in this band for one hysterical queen", was Fred's only response before exiting the room, stepping outside into the fresh air. You contemplated whether or not to follow him, but something flying right in front of you into Brian's face, followed by, "Is that strong enough?!" "Roger!" You shouted at him, coming to the realisation that it was him that threw it. He looked for more things to throw around and eventually even found the probably most precious thing in the entire kitchen.

"Not the coffee machine!" John, Brian, and your voice echoed through the room at the drummer. You needed to take it into your own hands, "Guys, please! You act like little kids, calm down, it's just a song. You can talk-", you got cut off by Roger storming out of the room. A sigh left your lips. You knew, following him now wouldn't be the best decision, therefore you decided it was time to confront Freddie, but not before talking to the other two men, "Why can't you guys just... just let him have that one song." Brian spoke up, "Just because it's about you, doesn't mean you need to defend him. It's just not good." Your heart stopped for a second, "What? About me?" Now it was John's time, "Oh, come on as if we don't know. If he was actually talking about his car like that, we should be worried about him. And you're the only girl we ever got to meet. And please, oh my god, don't let me get started on how he talks about you." He shook his head drastically with a smile on his lips. Brian smirked at you, "He's not only in love with his car." You tried avoiding their eyes, looking around the room with your arms crossed, "Still... maybe it's not as bad." And with that you left the room, ready... well, not ready but having to confront Freddie. 

Just as you walked outside, the guitarist's voice echoed, "It is!" making you giggle a bit. You weren't able to keep that emotion though, as you came to face with the dark-haired man's back. Your footsteps, which you made by wearing Roger's shoes that were right next to the door, were heavy and loud due to all of the mud and made Freddie turn around. "(Y/N) everything alright again inside?" "What do you think?" You smiled kindly at him which he returned. As you got next to him, he pulled out an open pack of cigarettes, offering you one - you declined, "I don't smoke, but thank you?" He looked at you curiously, "Why not?" And you shrugged your shoulders, "Just never been into it, I don't mind it though." He nodded with a smile. Before really getting to the subject as to why you came out here, you took a deep breath, "Freddie...", his head turned to you, "I...", you didn't know how to start this conversation. "I like you, okay? You're a wonderful person and you make Mary the happiest she's ever been. But...", you couldn't look him in the eyes, therefore, they found their way to the ground, "You have to tell her what happened yesterday." The lead singer was confused, so you carried on, "Last night, I heard you singing in the attic and I just wanted to know why you were still up and just check on you", suddenly it hit him and he shifted uncomfortably, "... I saw what happened with Paul." After your confession, you got the courage to look back up again and saw tears welling up in his eyes. "I know you're not that kind of man who'd just do that behind her back, but... you have to tell her. I won't, I promise", you spoke quietly and as soothing as possible. "I didn't want this to happen...", his voice cracked and you placed your hand on his back. "I know...", "I love her, I really do", he declared. You started rubbing circles, "I know, I know... but that's why you have to tell her. She'll understand." "Do you really think so?" He looked at you, his eyes full of tears and hope. You nodded with a smile and went to hug him tightly. "You are an amazing human being, Freddie", you whispered in his ear, knowing that he needed a form of cheering up. After parting again, he gave you a smile, assuring you that he would be alright as he wiped his tears away. "You should go and cheer up your boyfriend instead of me." "What? How- what?" You were just as confused as you were in the kitchen a couple minutes ago. "Oh, darling, please. His car is not the only thing he's in love with." His comment made you smile, "Why is everyone-", you threw your arms out and left with a sigh and the smile still on your lips, making Freddie laugh.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is a bit of a longer one, but I hope this somehow made up for the time I had been off. Thank you for supporting me and I hope those who requested it enjoyed it, everyone else of course too! :)

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! <3

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 34

Chapter Summary -   Taylor's new song causes Danielle to wish she was a more physically aggressive person, but she keeps herself calm.

When Luke turns up on set, slightly miffed, his annoyance is quickly diverted from Danielle and Tom's relationship to Taylor, leading to him getting to know Danielle even better, what does he think of Tom's new flame?

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum@nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

It took every fibre of restraint in Danielle’s being to not want to go over and slap that smarmy tart across the face as she gave the Safety Officer a sickeningly sweet false smile on her entered the set for everything she had said of Danielle and of Tom. Danielle remained right next to the head of the studio, who of course, would not miss the opportunity to suck up to the famous pop star. It was her best defence, knowing from Taylor’s demeanour that she would relish in getting Danielle fired.

“Well then, Ms Hughes, this is the placements for everyone, is there any issue?” the producer and choreographers asked.

Scanning the plans, her eyes widened. “You can’t do this.”

“And why not?” Taylor demanded, “Just because it hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it can’t. That is the difference between an artist and some set worker, you lack the vision to do something like this.”

“Actually, I am sorry to inform you, Ms Swift, this is not a revolutionary idea, it has, in fact, been done ad nauseum. The issue here is not the inability to do it, but the safety factors involved. That.” she pointed to a nearby pillar, “Is purely for decoration, it not for function. It is only plasterboard and other cheap, breakable materials, and is not attached to the ceiling, or indeed the floor. Your dancers are very much at risk if you have them dance too close to it, it could very easily fall over, and though it is not functional, it is close to half a tonne in weight, not something I could ever possibly sign off on as being safe.” She explained logically, loving the fact that every word she spoke drove Taylor more and more to the brink of a tantrum, knowing that she could not argue Danielle’s point without others thinking her as being nothing more than petulant. “I can suggest other safer areas if you’d like.” She offered the producer.

The rest of the shoot went as well as it could in Danielle’s opinion, considering the main person dictating the shoot was the narcissistic ex-girlfriend of her boyfriend who seemed hell-bent on getting a reaction from Danielle. The song, as Danielle had gathered, was not only slating Tom as a user, a manipulator and a cheat, but also ensured to hint that Danielle, or the ‘The Heeler’ the title of the song referenced to, was the reason for the protagonist’s pain and hurt. She just bit her lips together and made comments to the producer where necessary to ensure the safety of everyone on set; though were Taylor to be hit across the head by a low beam, she would not have been entirely heartbroken.

“Thank you for all your hard work, Taylor was right to specifically ask for you.” The producer smiled politely.

Danielle mulled over those words for a moment when something came to her. “I have never worked with Ms Swift before, how did she even hear of me?” she asked, playing innocent.

“Well, I assume it has something to do with your work on other music video’s.” the producer dismissed, thinking nothing of it.

“I have never done a music video.” Danielle countered.

The producer frowned, “Did you work stateside?”

“I have never been to the States. This is my fourth ever gig. Sherlock, a soap opera, Game of Thrones, Beauty and the Beast.” She listed off.

“Odd, she knows no one really on those; your reputation obviously precedes you, because she was adamant about having you here.” He shrugged and walked off, leaving Danielle very concerned as to how Swift knew her career change.

“She’s over there, black jacket saying S.O. on it.” She heard a guy instruct.

Terrified as to who it was, she turned, shocked to see Luke Windsor coming towards her, grimacing internally at the annoyed look on his face “Mr Windsor.”

“Ms Hughes.” He replied curtly.

“You do not look best pleased.” She commented.

“Perhaps that is because I am not.”

“Is it anything to do with my relationship with one of your clients?” she gambled.

“That is exactly what it is.”

“Have we been spotted?” She knew it was only a matter of time before they were, but she had hoped to have spoken with Sophie before being thrown to the wolves or crazy fangirls as the case may be.

“No, there is no hint of anything.”

She frowned. “Then I don’t understand.”

“Would you like to know how I found out my biggest actor is seeing a set safety officer?”

“Tom sending a drunken text?” she guessed.

“No, that would actually have been better.” He growled. “I found out when I was speaking with Emma, Watson that is, and she made mention that she has seen Tom quite frequently of late, and how she was delighted he found a, and I quote ‘great, down to earth and decent’ girlfriend.” He explained.

“I know you’re mad Tom didn’t tell you that your conversation with me fixed our little miscommunication issue, but I am just going to bask in the knowledge that the Emma Watson called me those things.”

“You were just as capable of telling me.”

“I am not your client, though. I can’t imagine your secretary putting through my calls.”

Luke made a face that told her he could not argue that. “Well, a warning from either of you would have been nice, I need to make sure that when this does become public, that I actually know what is going on, as it stood, I thought there was nothing between you.”

“Shh!” Danielle looked around to see if anyone was close by. Luke looked around confused. “I…Do not bring that up here, please.”

“Why not?”

“Well, one; I don’t want anyone thinking I got where I am by sleeping with an actor, and two; of all the days for that to be made public here, today is not the day.”

“Why not?”

“You have no idea who’s here, do you?” he shook his head. “Your favourite pop princess.”

Luke’s face fell, his pallor changing. “What?”

“People were wondering why she was in London; she is here to shoot her new video, in this studio, today, and guess who the song is about?”

“I am going to kill him. I warned him.”

“I know, but there is nothing we can do about it.” She soothed.

“How bad is it?”

“He manipulated and used her, and I made him cheat on her with me.” She explained.

“Fuck,” he shook his head.

“You need to go,” Danielle stated. Luke looked at her almost indignantly. “If she sees you here, she will make a big deal of this, you are Tom’s publicist so she will know we’re together. She already knows I’m working here. That’s already too much.”

“Well, if you knew she was going to be here, why did you take this job, are you actively looking for trouble?” he growled.

“I was told, under no uncertain terms, that should I leave set today, after my actual job, I would be blacklisted. She demanded me specifically.” She informed him. “How she even knew I was working here, or indeed that I changed careers, I don’t know.”

Luke’s brows furrowed. “She wouldn’t have known?”

“They were broken up when I moved into it, and Tom didn’t find out until a month ago. There’s no way she should know.”

“Unless she has been keeping tabs on you.” Danielle cocked her head slightly, “Why come to London to shoot a video, the company she is using,” he looked at the emblem on the side of a soundboard case. “That’s an American company, she flew it all here.”

“She wouldn’t have done it specifically for me.” Danielle dismissed.

“Wouldn’t she?” Luke challenged. “I went snooping on PR Barbie when she and Tom were linked. I cannot believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but I agree with Kim Kardashian, she is a snake.”

“Hey, we don’t even know that woman, don’t judge her.”

“She got famous for nothing.”

“Actually, she got famous for something; something I don’t think many people would be willing to do, but to say she maintained fame shows she is not an absolute airhead, she’s worth more than you and I are.”

“You don’t strike me as a trash television fan.” Luke eyed her up and down.

“Never saw her show, not overly bothered by her existence, I just don’t know her, and as a fellow woman, I commend her for doing well with her life.” She shrugged.

Luke was about to say something else to her, but his eyes flickered over her shoulder and his jaw clenched. He made a slight movement of his eyes to Danielle to inform her who was coming towards them.

Taking a deep breath, Danielle composed herself and turned around. “Is there anything more you need Ms Swift?” she asked, though keeping the words polite was difficult.

“So you were only after him in the end, that’s a surprise.” She snarked, looking between the pair. “I was right all along.”

“I do not know what you are talking about.” Danielle feigned ignorance. “Mr Windsor and I are merely discussing his client and a future lunch between themselves and myself.”

“He seems to have only one client, and he follows him everywhere like a faithful puppy.”

Luke’s brows rose at Taylor’s comments. Danielle only laughed. “It wouldn’t be a successful PR firm if he had only one client. He has others, one of whom I happen to be a huge fan of, and whom I am working with at present, so with her being on this set, but having to leave early today to facilitate you, and him stuck in a meeting dealing with the premieres for this movie, he is merely relaying her message to me while here.”

Luke stared at Danielle, impressed with how she had concocted a story from thin air and had stated it with such conviction, he had to remind himself for a moment with was fabricated.

Taylor glared at her, “So you expect me to believe you aren’t sniffing around my scraps?”

“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what you believe or not, it is no concern of mine. My only concern here was that nothing happens anyone on set when shooting, I have done my job, so I am getting ready to go home for the evening, perhaps get some room service, and see what’s on TV.”

“God, you’re boring.”

“Perhaps to you, but I’m happy, and that’s all that I am concerned with.” Danielle smiled, seeing the head of the studio coming, she decided to finish the conversation, even if Taylor didn’t want to. “Have a safe flight to your next destination Ms Swift, and thank you so much for asking for me today.”

Taylor’s nostrils flared at her manner. “What?”

“Well, I thought you would like to know that the money you’ve paid me for this shoot means I can take a month’s break after these few reshoots and spend it with those I love and get a new car, so thank you.” She beamed as the singer stared at her blankly. “You’ve paid for my Christmas and car.” She almost burst out laughing, loving how Taylor seemed to only then realise it was entirely true. “Thank you and safe journeys.” With that, she gave a wave goodbye to her superiors and walked off.

“You lie with too much ease,” Luke commented, having followed her out of earshot.

“I am dating an actor, I work with actors, all I see day and night are lies, people pretending to be people they’re not, people pretending to believe everything they say, you pick it up easy enough.” She commented, going for the exit.

When they came to Luke’s car, he stopped, looking at her for a moment. “I didn’t think I would be saying this, but you may actually be able to survive the gauntlet that being with Tom requires.”

“I hope so, but I’m not always sure. I am so scared of when we are found out.”

“Don’t you want to be with him?” Luke asked, confused.

“Yes, God yes. But it’s not really him and me in this relationship, though, is it? It’s us and every fangirl, gossip rag, and ex-pop girlfriend’s, that’s the worry.”

“If he wasn’t famous, would this be a concern to you? Would you be so sceptical?”

“If Tom worked as, I dunno, what would Tom be if he wasn’t an actor? I suppose something in literature, isn’t that what everyone thinks; then I would actually be happier, and probably not have spent five years of trying to convince myself I wasn’t completely in love with his dorky nutty ass.” She laughed.

“But he is an actor,” Luke commented.

“Yes, and a brilliant one.” Danielle concurred. “But it means we are not allowed be normal, are we? I mean, even you have an internet following, just because of him being him. I am just trying to get used to it Luke, I am doing everything I can to. I love him, I love everything from the fact he seems morbidly afraid of learning how to work a washing machine to the fact that his greatest brag in life is he can cook a breakfast, to even that weird attempt he does at dancing.”

“That fucking dancing.” Luke shook his head, causing Danielle to laugh. “What about the fact he is being seen as getting older now, getting…well, thinner haired.”

“If he heard you.” She scolded. “I guess he is going to get a few more ‘Dad’ roles in the near future, and yes, his hairline is receding a little, but if he turns out as bald as a coot, why would I care, he would still be the same dork that tripped over his own gangly limbs the first day I met him, the same guy that seemed to think it appropriate to make a sex noise because I made his tea right on the first go in my new kitchen, and the same guy who acted as though I gave him the moon when I got him a joke present of Baloo in the Disney store.”

“You really do love him, Tom the person, not the actor.”

“I met Thomas first, Tom came along after, and to be honest, being in the spotlight caused him to become colder, more clammed up in public, which startled me really, but when he is away from that, when he is behind closed doors, he is still the same happy sweet guy, thankfully. I was so scared she had destroyed that, it scared me so much; I wanted to save that part of him. When I fought with him during that relationship, I would have had it that he hate me for eternity than him risking becoming a cold person.” She explained. “Have a good evening Mr Windsor, and I’m truly sorry for any trouble today may cause for you.” She opened her car door and got in, leaving Luke slightly flabbergasted for a moment, before getting into his own car, mulling over her words, knowing that of any attempt Tom had at a relationship in the time they were working together, Danielle was there for the right reasons, and he found himself hoping she would be the one to stick.

[silliusssoddus]

The First Names Concept - Night 2

(Roger Taylor x Reader x Vince Neil)

MASTERLIST

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON NIGHT 1, I DEADASS THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A FLOP BUT Y’ALL ACTUALLY LIKE IT :’)  aight bear in mind i’m not rewriting everything scene for scene, but i might use direct quotes from either movie from time to time. but i did use a scene from harry potter and the deathly hallows for a part in this anyways this is a psa to watch teenage kicks, seeing as i wrote most of this watching it this is also a psa to listen to ‘hot love’ by t. rex, a whole ass bOp

WARNINGS: SMUT (marked with when it starts and stops), oral and straight up sex, slight degradation/praise kinks, squirting, swearing, drinking, blink-and-you’ll-miss slight angst/fluff

WORD COUNT: 4,407 (i apologise)

CHAPTER SUMMARY: the boys take you to see mötley crüe without knowing that you’d previously met the singer the night before.

since i used the movie gifs in the first part, i’ll use them real life peeps in this one. i’m not gonna spoil the chapters before you read it with these, but i will caption quotes that will make more sense when you read that part. for example:

‘...the charm on his necklace...’

(creds: @tenementfunzter)

‘...you heard him whisper in your ear.’

-

In their defence, Mötley Crüe was just a band trying to get themselves known, not too different to the spot Queen were in just 10 years ago. But you did feel like the ground should just open up and swallow you whole as you walked into the Whisky a Go Go, Vince shooting you a subtle wink after he noticed you immediately.

“Our last song is gonna be something our very own Nikki Sixx picked out, because he’s a slut for the band T. Rex.”

The audience erupted into a fit of cheers and yells. Even Roger cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered, a boyish action that never failed to bring a smile on your face.

“This one’s called ‘Hot Love’.”

The audience died down slowly as they lost themselves in the music. You couldn’t blame them, because you yourself let your head nod to the beat. The cheesy, ‘You’re My Best Friend’ style rhythm seemed to take over your body as everyone around you - even Brian, who wasn’t one for dancing - started to hop around.

John, the disco master himself had bopped on over to you, taking your hand and spinning you. You giggled a lot, feeling more bubbly than the champagne bottle the five of you shared before the show, which was also the reason why you were late.

John and Freddie exchanged a quick look, nodding to each other as John spun you out of his arms and let you go. It sent you pinballing off of various people in the crowd, before Roger caught you.

“You alright?”

“Y-yeah.”

You pushed yourself off of his chest and found your balance on your heels again, desperately avoiding his eyes because God only knows what you’d do if you met them.

But his grip on your shoulders didn’t seem to have the intention of moving themselves anytime soon.

“Let’s dance, Mayflower.”

Your head snapped up at the old nickname, seeing the giddy look on his face fall.

“I- only if you want to. F-For old time’s sake.”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. Of course, you were surprised that he had even remembered those nights you stood on his feet and danced around to an Elvis record in the background, but you were more overjoyed to do so again.

As you both copied the movements of your young, teenage selves, you felt like you were transported to the times where you didn’t care about whether he liked you or not. You knew that you were his, even if it was only for a few minutes.

He started off by swinging your arms from side to side, clumsily crossing his legs over each other as you slowly turned around. You laughed hard, completely having forgotten that Roger never was the best dancer, but you could see that it was mostly the nervousness that was holding him back. So you eased into the movements yourself, letting him spin into your side.

The frequent twirling continued throughout the song, along with your shared giggles whenever you accidentally stepped on each others toes, or nudged your elbow in the side of each others ribs. But it kept you occupied in the 70s and it couldn’t have felt any better.

During the final ‘la’s of the song, you sidestepped a couple more times, holding each other in the waltz pose and felt yourselves getting closer, your chests pressed against each other. The smile on his face faltered against your shoulder and you placed a reassuring hand on his, resting your chin on it shortly after. His arms slowly crossed the small of your back, tightening around your waist softly.

You could barely hear Nikki, the bassist, thanking you all for being a great audience, before he and the rest of the band walked offstage into the wings to slap some sense back into Vince.

Because what you didn’t know was that Vince frequently lost his focus throughout the song.

He kept stealing glances from you to admire how stunning you looked twirling around. A vivid contrast from how you were yesterday, if he did say so himself.

“Look, I’m sorry guys-”

“Whatever, man, just sort shit out with your girl and don’t fuck up tomorrow.” Mick, their guitarist, scoffed, walking off toward their individual dressing rooms as Tommy, their drummer, followed him.

Nikki himself was about to go, if it wasn’t for being stopped by Vince’s tight grip on his arm.

“It’s not my girl that’s the problem, it’s someone else. Man, what the fuck do I do?”

“Alright, alright. Show me who this chick is.” Nikki sighed.

Vince pulled his arm enthusiastically toward the curtains again, forcing him to peek out of it and turned his head to where you all were standing.

“Holy shit, that’s Queen!” he gasped, starstruck.

Vince then used the same hand to turn his head toward your direction, where you and Roger were still wrapped in each other’s arms. It was an embrace you couldn’t bare to break out of. And Roger didn’t want to let go of the smell of vodka just yet.

“I miss you, Mayflower.” you heard him whisper in your ear.

Before you had the chance to think about what he meant, let alone ask him, you started to notice the people around you disappearing more thanks to a cold waft of air breezing through the club. It forced you to break off the hug, but you quickly turned away to find your brother, too scared to confront him.

“Okay, maybe they’re not together.” Vince mumbled, struggling to fight the fucked-up smile of relief off his face.

Nikki ran after Freddie, determined to both help his bandmate out and meet one of his idols. He repeatedly called his name out to catch his attention.

“Hey man! I’m name’s Nikki Sixx, a huge fan.” he beamed, sticking out his hand for him to shake it.

Freddie took it eagerly. He always liked talking to fans, especially if they were musicians themselves.

“Very nice to meet you Nikki. You played the bass, right?”

Nikki nodded, honoured that the Freddie Mercury had seen what he did. He then turned to see John standing next to Freddie.

“John Deacon! I love your bass lines, man!” his eyes widened in awe as he shook John’s hand.

John blushed. He wasn’t used to getting compliments - he wasn’t even sure if people knew his name at all, so he felt more than flattered.

“Oh, i-it’s nothing, you’re much better than I am anyway.”

“Aww, c’mon dude. Where’s the modesty?”

“Disappeared after Brian wrote ‘We Will Rock You’.” John gave a shy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Luckily for him, the others found it funny and his grin grew bigger.

“That’s a cool sweater. Wouldn’t expect that from a rock band.” he laughed, elbowing Vince.

“Did you not see what Tommy was wearing on the way here?” Vince replied, noticing that John had blushed deeper from being called out like that.

“Shit, you’re right. Dude, Tommy totally needs to see this.”

“Tommy Lee’s, our drummer.” Vince explained to the boys.

“Yeah, he went to go change but he’ll be back to pack the stage. C’mon, I can introduce you.” Nikki beckoned for John to follow him.

With a shrug and an apologetic look to Freddie (who replied with a shrug himself), the two bassists set off to walk backstage.

Freddie had started making his way over to his curly haired friend, when he noticed that Vince was following him.

“Uh, d’you mind if I come with? I kinda wanna say hi to Y/N. We talked yesterday before you had to leave.”

“I...don’t see why not.” Freddie smiled.

“I must say that I love your pants. Not everyone can pull off white leather.” he continued.

“Thanks, man. My girlfriend bought it for me. They were, like, $800.”

Freddie relaxed at the word ‘girlfriend’. Maybe Vince wouldn’t get in the way with you and Roger after all.

“Aren’t you a lucky man?” Freddie grinned, punching him on the shoulder playfully before turning to walk again.

“Yeah, she’s great.” Vince frowned, hearing the uncertainty in his voice himself.

“There’s the pretty lady!” Vince called out, shocking you out of your conversation and making you turn around. Your face immediately lit up as you walked into his outstretched arms.

“Hey Vince! You were so good up there.” you said, feeling his rough hands slide across the bare skin on your waist thanks to your crop top. It felt rougher than Roger’s hold, that was for sure. Maybe it was the way his biceps flexed into your sides.

“Thanks, dude. I tried to sing that last one to you.” he managed to speak quietly, so that Brian and Freddie in their own conversations couldn’t hear.

You felt your cheeks heat up from how upfront he was, but then you remembered what you had been doing the majority of the song.

Vince seemed to have noticed you biting your lip and he apologised immediately, worried that he had hurt your feelings somehow.

“You good?” he asked when you failed to say anything.

“What? Oh. Yeah. Bit knackered from the dancing is all.”

“Why don’t we sit down and have a drink? Then you can tell Dr Vince everything.” he joked, nodding his head over to the mini bar situated behind you.

“Yeah, I could really use one.” you shrugged, following him over to the counter. The bartender seemed to have anticipated his arrival and immediately put a cocktail and a bottle of whiskey before you.

“So, what’s this between you and that other dude? Do you like him?”

“Huh? Who?”

“Taylor.”

“Roger.” you snapped back quickly.

“That’s it.” he laughed.

You started stirring your drink, not really wanting to take a sip. But you did shortly after, as a way to avoid the question.

“Well?” Vince egged on.

“I don’t know, it’s a long story.”

“We got time.” Vince replied, beckoning for more drinks.

“I don’t have money.”

“It’s all on the house anyway.” he said, letting out a chuckle as he heard the bartender groan.

“Okay, fine.” you sighed, gulping down a big mouthful before continuing.

“I’ve known him since I was 13 and I instantly fancied him like mad because, well, he was a long, blonde haired, blue eyed drummer with a beautiful voice in a rock band. Everything you’d want in a guy really.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Vince snickered.

“Anyway,” you giggled, “he and Brian were great friends and he moved into our little apartment a few months later. Naturally, I was terrified to have my crush around in the house 24/7, but we did grow closer. It’s funny, really. I found myself liking him more than my own brother. And what I loved the most were the times I couldn’t sleep or I had a nightmare. He’d sing me to sleep.”

You smiled to yourself before taking another sip, but you found your head somehow turning in the direction of Roger’s laughter as you drank. 

The band were back onstage with Roger, Freddie and John and it seemed as if their drummer was teaching Roger how to twirl drumsticks. Evidently, he wasn’t good at it. He managed to make one fly across the room toward a group of girls, winking at them as he went over to pick them up.

“But then I found out - well, I heard - that he kept bringing girls over every night and that’s when I decided that I had to move on. He started seeing one girl in particular, so then I found Oliver. And it wasn’t like I was using him to get back at Roger, ‘cause Oliver was trying make his ex jealous.”

“Jeez, the both of you are so fucked up.”

“Hah, that’s not the end of it. They stopped dating and I broke things off with Oliver, around a month before I turned 18. That’s when everything changed.”

The bartender refilled your glass and you thanked him.

“We started talking to each other again and it felt like nothing changed...until one trip to Hyde Park two years later. I was meeting up with one of my friends, Dominique, and he wanted to come with me because he wanted to tell something. I still don’t know what he wanted to say, because as soon as he caught the French girl’s eye he couldn’t resist chatting her up.”

You chuckled pathetically at the memory. He’d ruined your favourite place. 

And you were just about to sit down on that stupid bench.

“He would always ask me how he should get her attention.”

“Well, there was your perfect chance to sabotage it.” Vince laughed.

“And make him hate me? Yeah, I didn’t do that. I just gave him stupid excuses to see her.”

“Like what?”

“Uh...this one time I got annoyed at him, so I picked up a random daisy - bear in mind it looked ugly and half of the petals had fallen off - and told him to give it to her and say he thought it would go well with her clothes.”

“Noted.” Vince laughed, throwing his head back at how absurd it sounded.

“So is he still with this Dominique?”

“Honestly? No idea. They’ve been constantly breaking up and getting back together for 5 good years now.”

“Judging from that dancing, they’re probably on a break again.”

“Oh, yeah. That. The first time we’ve hugged in...8 years? Give or take a few.”

“Jesus Christ- this is the worst game of cat and mouse I’ve ever seen.”

You turned to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

From the little time you had gotten to know him, you wouldn’t have taken him for a serious guy. You wouldn’t have expected a single word of advice from him, but what he said next completely proved your judgement wrong.

“Look, man, don’t stress it. Like, not trying to be a hippie and shit, but if the universe wanted it to happen, it would’ve by now. Dunno if you should be wasting more time on something the universe doesn’t want.” he said as a matter of factly, finally prying his eyes away from you to take a sip of his Jack Daniels.

“Huh, you actually listened. I just thought you’ve been undressing me with your eyes this whole time.”

“Well, Y/N, eye contact is important to maintain a conversation.” he paused his drinking to say, raised eyebrow and all.

“Careful, or I might have to knock those smarty pants off of you.” you scoffed, rolling your eyes and finishing the last few drops of your drink.

“How about you start with my normal pants?” was his reply to that, a force of habit he should really work on.

“Never mind, I was right the first time.” you smirked.

Vince placed a hand on his chest with a jokingly hurt look on his face.

“Please, I’m a gentleman. Way more than your Roger friend apparently.”

“Oh really? Prove it.”

You laughed a few seconds after at the look of defeat on his face.

“No, wait.”

He took his leather jacket off and wrapped it around your shoulders, both for you to put on but also to reveal his abs in all its viewing glory.

“There. Did I do it?”

Embarrassingly you were too entranced to hear anything he said, let alone tell him that you weren’t cold in the first place, and you gulped. Hard enough for your worries about Roger to wash away. Loud enough for for him to snicker over it.

His hands trailed down your shoulders to your fingers, intertwining them lightly as his thumb drew circles on your knuckles.

“I’ll let you take the rest off, pretty lady.” he leant in to your side and growled quietly.

You bit your lip and nodded, letting him fully grasp your hands and pull you up, following him as he lead the way.

*it’s sinning time boys*

His hands left yours and grabbed your waist instead, pulling you in close to him as he walked backwards into one of the toilets. You kicked the door shut behind you, tugging the charm on his necklace lightly to connect your lips.

You felt his hips roll against yours before his hands went further down the back of your thighs, pushing your legs slightly apart to hoist you up on the sink. Your lips parted for a second, giving him the chance to bunch your pencil skirt up to your hips and admire the sight in front of him.

“Fuck, you’re perfect. And no panties, you naughty little shit.” he growled, his hungry, hooded eyes meeting yours.

But something seemed off with the way he looked at you.

Roger had soft eyes, the calming kind. Vince’s felt threatening, like he’d pounce on you without a warning. Even his grip on you was tighter, more aggressive, but at the same time comforting.

Like he was desperate to keep you.

It was something you weren’t used to, but you were starting to like it.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, bringing him in for another heated kiss while your fingers flew down to his waist to palm him through his leather jeans.

A smile formed on your face as you watched his head fall back with merciless groans leaving his mouth, but his hands grabbed your wrists to stop you.

“Not yet, pretty lady, I wanna make you feel good first.”

His words brought out what was a mix of a whimper and a moan from you, as you felt his fingers brush up the inside of your thigh. His head fell into the crook of your shoulder and started to plant small pecks, eventually turning them into deeper kisses that undoubtedly would leave marks, while his fingers teased your folds.

“Taste how fuckin’ wet you are.” he said, letting you swirl your tongue around his digits before returning them back to where they were.

“Good girl.” he growled, starting to rub firm circles on your clit.

“Oh...Christ.” you gasped.

He smirked at your reaction, sliding two fingers down and pumping into you slowly. You could already feel your walls clenching around him and you saw the way his cock twitched in his pants at the thought of how you’d feel around him.

“More...please…”

“I’ll gladly give you more.” he whispered huskily as he latched his lips onto your clit, his fingers continuing to curl in and out of you.

“Oh- blimey...” you moaned, your whole body shuddering as his tongue played with your bud.

Then his head whipped up with an amused laugh.

“‘Blimey’?”

“I-It’s a British thing. It’s, uh, it’s like saying...damn?”

“Yeah yeah, I know that,” he chuckled again, “but is it ‘cause you don’t swear?”

“I- no, not really. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s cool. It’s cute. Are you a mormon or something?”

“God, no. Just not used to it. The boys swear all the time and it just...feels weird.”

“Bet I can help with that.” he smiled and winked.

You felt warm and giddy again.

He bobbed his head down to where it was before and continued from where he left off.

“Try it.” he mumbled before sucking your bud.

The sight of his hollowed cheeks made you let out another breathy moan.

“F...fuck…” you hesitantly breathed out along with it, feeling him smirk against you.

“Let go, baby, I know you’re close.”

His raspy voice caused vibrations to ripple through your body, enough to send you to your high as you grabbed onto the sink and screamed his name, your legs shaking around his shoulders.

“Good girl.” he repeated, swirling his tongue around the evidence of your orgasm.

“‘m sorry, I’ve never done that before.” you felt your face heat up with embarrassment, just as it was starting to cool down.

“No one’s made the pretty lady come?” Vince smirked cockily and raised an eyebrow.

“And that’s only your mouth.” you shook your head and chuckled shyly, eyeing the painful bulge in his trousers as your hands went to unbuckle his belt again.

This time he let you, but it was a struggle. The leather had really tightened itself around his length and it seemed impossible to even get the waistband past his hips. Both of you erupted with laughter as you watched him hop around.

Eventually, he managed to slip it down to his knees, which made him let out a massive sigh of relief and a chuckle when he saw the look of shock on your face.

“What, bigger than you expected?”

He was big alright, with veins bulging out and the swollen tip leaking precum. You were about to hop off the sink to repay him, but he placed his hands on your thighs to stop you.

“Another time, baby. We’ve already been gone for a long time, they’re probably looking for us.” he chuckled lowly, grabbing your hips and lining himself up against your entrance after rolling on a condom.

“Besides- fuck.” he groaned as he pushed in slowly, “watching you cum almost got me there.”

You whined when he pushed in completely, your walls adjusting to his size.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” he mumbled, snapping his hips into you. He quickened his pace, knowing that there wasn’t any time to take things slow, even if he wanted to.

One of his hands hooked onto the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss while the other one ran up under your shirt to your boobs, his rough hands massaging them in a way that sent a shiver down your back.

*smut ends*

The room was filled with sounds of skin slapping against each other, blissful moans from the both of you, tiny yelps from when you tugged the ends of his hair playfully and short giggles when you accidentally nudged each other’s noses, or when you bit each others lips from kissing.

Until the shriek of a blonde-haired woman rang out from the doorway.

“What the fuck?” she yelled, making the two of you snap your heads round. You were trying desperately to place if you had seen the woman before, but gave up as soon as you saw the look of regret on Vince’s face.

“You bitch!” she gasped, but you weren’t sure if it was directed toward you or Vince.

“Babe-” he started, pulling out of you to brace himself from the slaps he was about to receive.

And all you could do was sit there and witness it, partially in shock but fully knowing he deserved it.

“Fuck you, you piece of shit!” she grabbed his trousers off the floor and slapped him on the shoulder repeatedly.

“Motherfucker!” she huffed, turning round to walk out and slam the door behind her.

“My pants! Babe!” he tried to call out after her, but all he received was a muffled ‘fuck you!’ in return.

Roger was the only one that didn’t have anyone to talk to, seeing as John had stolen Tommy away from him, Freddie and Nikki were chatting away like aunts at a family reunion and Mick and Brian were too busy complaining about their childish bandmates.

Roger was also the only one to notice the woman that was stomping across the club, white leather pants slung across her shoulder and her forehead wrinkled in annoyance.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he said, hopping off the stage and walking over to her.

“Ugh, just my asshole boyfriend deciding to fuck another girl.”

She looked up to meet Roger’s gaze, immediately softening when she was greeted by the older man’s sympathetic blue eyes.

“Like, I never took Vince as a person to do that.” she pouted, trying her best to sound seductive.

But he didn’t notice. He had understood who Vince was with and he was beating himself up for not putting two and two together after realising the both of you had suddenly left.

He decided to break his streak of not using groupies to distract himself from you and shoot his shot.

“Oh, that’s awful.” he said, managing to muster up all the genuinity he could in his voice as he slung an arm around her shoulder, walking toward where he assumed the dressing rooms would be.

“Ah, Roger. Ever the charmer.” Brian chuckled and shook his head, ignoring the confused looks Freddie and John were giving each other.

“Yep. It’s always the blondes.” Mick rolled his eyes and chuckled with him.

“Nikki and I aren’t blonde.” Tommy laughed, giving Nikki a high five.

“It’s just you that doesn’t like groupies, old man.” Nikki agreed.

“Not my fault I’m old fashioned.”

“Yeah, It’s perfectly normal to only want one woman in your life. Isn’t that right, Brian?”

“Deaky!” Freddie hissed, the others started laughing when they saw Brian’s face turn into that of a tomato at the reminder of Chrissie.

“Just wait for our next album.” John hummed, taking a sip of the bottle of beer.

“Hey, speaking of blondes, where’s ours?”

“Based on the fact that Brian’s sister is also gone…” Freddie started, ready to greet Brian’s temper.

But, to both of their surprises, his reaction was completely the opposite.

He laughed.

“Ah, it was time she did. But I always thought it’d be Roger.” he said, turning to look at John and Freddie’s shocked expressions before they started laughing nervously as well.

“Yeah, so did we.”

Vince was busy trying to explain everything to you, but you didn’t want to listen. He had made you the reason for another person’s sadness, maybe even the reason that they can’t trust anymore. You couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t believe him.

“Don’t lie to me.” you hissed, putting your clothes back on again and swatting away his hands that tried to help you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it cute.

The two of you stood in silence for a while, like you were expecting him to do the same, but then you realised that he had walked in shirtless.

“I’ll go find something in your dressing room.” you sighed, trying your best to tame your hair before walking out of the bathroom without a second thought.

“Even when you’re mad, you’re still fucking generous. Thank you, pretty lady!”

A smile formed on your face.

The same smile fell when you walked past a row of doors leading to Vince’s dressing room, where you heard familiar grunts.

Familiar, because they had been the source of many of your sleepless nights.

The door to an occupied was left open by a crack and all it took for your heart to plummet to your feet was seeing Roger’s head being thrown back in pleasure.

But you didn’t deserve to feel jealous, betrayed, or anything like that. Because you had hurt him the exact same way.

-

TAGS - link in bio to be added/removed

NIGHT 3

[thealicehouse]

- okay so this is different. i can't stop thinking about you now i know everything. do i wanna make this move?

- do i wanna make this move? do i wanna do this to you? i'm cutting all my options loose if my choice is you

- glad to see you so happy i hope your heart is so full you mean less than nothing to me how could i be such a fool

for a bar you hate so much, you're in here a lot for a girl you don't wanna see, you see a lot of

can you not just leave it now i told you i don't want you around

- i keep looking at your photos i wanna dive out my window out on the street and into your home i wonder if you're all alone you don't see me but i see you you look so sweet when you're sleeping i love that new tattoo maybe i'll see you this weekend

and maybe this time i'll say hi maybe i'll introduce myself maybe you'll smile when you walk by instead of telling me to go to hell

cause baby i love you you know it i wish you loved me too i just don't get it i'm there for you when you need me even if i'm hanging round discreetly babe i always love the smell of your clothes and i never let other girls get too close (i wish you knew my name)

- i wonder if he still admits he loves listening to taylor swift

- he's got these beautiful eyes that look right through me and a mouth full of stupid things and my heart and my head can't keep it together when he just does so much as talk to me

and sure it's probably easy to see that i don't mean when i'm mean but i try to put a front of no jealousy when i see girls call him name

i hope he'll never change

it's the little things like making sure i'm home safe and the passing comments i hope i never miss and despi

- i will not fall in love with you in retrospect i will not apologize for how i feel i'm sorry if my actions broke you into pieces but i have my fair share of wounds to heal

you were so good at making me look so bad i could not defend myself against your words all stacked you made the room you were in so dreamy and in tact it's only when you left, i could see all the walls were cracked

you cannot force me into being what you wanna see you cannot make me fall in love if it isn't real i dragged myself along to save your heart and that was wrong but we can't make this work anymore

- i can't help the way my heart beats around you i can't help if i stutter when i try and talk i can't help if i don't make sense, i know you probably don't understand what i'm saying at all

- come out with me tonight, let jack take all your fears under this light you've never looked any better dear

i like your smile i wish i noticed it more before come in with me or get ID'd on the door lets just get lost on the floor

- you know what gets me you saiD it yOursElf it's riSky business you witH somEone elSe

we not quiTe over but we're not the same nothIn i haven't toLd ya and my feeLings aint changed i stiLl mIsS you ThE same

so wiNd me up once more ask me whaT i'm thinking see if you believe it get up and lOck my door cause i wanna get close geT close get close

- we might be over you won't Answer at all i know that i've been stupid but i

- if you have asked me i'd have said we'd make it to your birthday but if i'd have known everything that's not even close to what i think i'd say

so forget you happy birthday you won't be hearing from me she'll have you a better gift anyway i've just got your side of the sheets

- i picked my battles wisely tried to get you to fight you'd never scream like me you'd just call it a night

i never thought about our future and now i'm stuck in the past i think it's all to do with the mirror i smashed

- i'm trying not to fall apart in front of you didn't think it'd ever be this difficult to do you're so confident, looking all fixed and brand new well i'm not

- you wanna be honest? i wanted you bad but i heard it from some girl you're not a very nice lad

- oh love oh love i'm turning in my grave round you killed me off oh love oh love i'm sick of these days now not good enough

- Kieran - i'm not sure where i stand or whats going on or if anything is going to happen. it's so early days. i know that i think maybe i like you. i definitely think you're fit. i don't know if i like LIKE you but i definitely think i could. i just have this awful feeling you won't ever feel the same. you just got your job as a manager. why would you mess this up for me? you wouldn't. i'm not just into sex either. fuck.

- update: fuck lmao

- i was tryna defend your side of the fence but you don't see that anymore we had so many plans, he was irrelevant but we were sixteen and bored

weird you don't even stick up for me but if it came to it i'd be the one still following your feet picking pieces he'd break and collecting them he made another mistake, and you'd still go back to him

well i'm done done done

guess we won't go travelling the world together i hope if you get married that your maid of honor gives the best speech you know i'd have done it better but things change, neither us to blame, we don't stay the same

- nothing has to happen heart's turn in to weapons let's just ride with it and have fun when the sun comes up, we run

danger ain't a weakness your kiss holds up as credence and your hands feel so good when they're not doing things they should

we both agree this ain't right but even just for tonight

kiss me like you've missed me your whole damn life like i'm all you've ever wanted, everything you've needed picture perfect for just one night like we're in a movie, but you mean nothing to me

- i bet you weren't expecting that what are the chances we can go back i'm not sorry for the way i am but we can't carry on like this

i know my heart too well and my brain skips tracks i'm a sucker for love, now you know that it's not in me to be casual, it's all or nothing

so don't give me a thing, don't give me a fifth of what i need don't lend out love for a temporary thing i'm not a guarenteed get out of this easy i want nothing from you or completely

this is far for me

- you're doing things you said you'd never do monogamy doesn't suit you. situations change, i know i've felt it too but this is far from the you i knew

- i am imagining, not hearing anything from you. nothing in self defence, is what i'm saying right, is it all true? have you just lost yourself? do you think we could make it through don't wanna lose this, don't wanna end up losing you

but it's hard when you won't talk to me, i'm screaming into a void, and nothings happening, why won't you fight for losing me?

are all our dreams and our plans and our memories we made not enough to even make you listen to me or all our secrets, and tears and moments we shared not even enough to make you care why is it hurting me so much? when you don't even care enough?

- so thank you again i'll make my own way out it's not like your hands are able to help me now

- your eyes are turning green babe and your shirt is stained red and my head can't stop thinking about all the things you said my lungs burn from the embers of the fire in your mouth my love's the only shelter saving me from falling down

- i know this aint easy for you to hear but its even harder for me to say so next time you decide we should apologize again ill look at you and walk away

cause i wont say sorry for feeling this and i wont say sorry for wanting you and i wont say sorry for holding your hand because i want to

so hold me, i know you cant but still please hold me you know we're still friends

for the first time it felt like looking into strangers eyes for the first time i didn't recognize your smile

it's just been so long feels like i never met you once like my memories are not my own

- so if you passed me know, and still dug your eyes into the ground, i won't feel my heart beg to leave my chest i'll feel like it's my body walking past your body, now you're a nobody, i must just be moving on

- how would your girlfriend feel if she knew i sat here imagining you meeting my parents how would your girlfriend feel if she knew how good your lips felt just on mine

my parents might never ever wanna meet you tragic that i'm made to feel like this is wrong cause honestly i love it when i see you you make me feel like i belong

- i'm breathing deeper i can see the city storm clouds roll right from their mouths but you made everyday just the beginning the world just stops when you're around

and i wanna daydream about our first house with an LA skyline view and i wanna see the world i've heard about, with someone just like you it's not easy, believe me with what i'm going through but everyone else i don't care about, when i'm stood next to you

well we did it babe five months, and five long breakups we made it babe out the other side and half a alive i showed them anyway