#but legit this is how my friend is always rubbing/wiping their nose and

[temporarilyunspokensneezes]

Someone who rubs/wipes their nose like that

(hands are evil)

[unabashednightmarepizza]

I saw your requests are open.

An I currently have the worst migraine right now, an was wondering if ya couldmwrite something about Gojo Or Toji taking care of the reader.

I legit left work, cuz everything was making it worse an it was.. terrible. Also if ya busy etc. You don't have too if ya don't want too!

An congrats on 100+ followers! Have a great day or night!

A/N: Ahhh, I'm sorry you had it hun. One of friends has migraines as well and hers are just legit the worst( at least for me) since she was almost foing to faint because of the pain... I hope this will help you!!

《 Don't You Worry, My Kikufuku!!》

ೃ⁀➷ Gojo Satoru(He/him) x GN!Reader

ೃ⁀➷ Word Count: 0,8+

"Migraines suck," you said while rubbing your sore temple. You were laying down on the sofa, looking at the ceiling and rubbing a lotion your friends suggested,which wasn't working at all, hoping it'll pass soon.

The lights were off for a very long time now and you were sure that your neighbours might be wondering whether you're dead or not. But you didn't have the energy to do anything. Everything was still spinning, now a little bit slower, and the throbbing wouldn't let you close your eyes blissfuly.

No matter what you did, the flashing lights behind your closed lits, the ringing in your ear and feeling of nausea was enough to make you cry.

Oh yeah, you already had tears on your eyes...

You sniffed and wiped your eyes but made a big mistake by doing so. You cursed at your luck and this goddamn migraine. The stress of your job as a sorcerer, not having enough sleep because you were training a new kid named Itadori, not being able to say no to your playful boyfriend and him being so reckless and carefree... All of these made it worse for you and you knew, you fucking knew that they'd catch up to you sooner or later.

And as if they weren't enough, the loud sound of keys reached your ears, making you wince in pain. And then, came your boyfriends voice.

"Y/N~~ MY CUPCAKE!! How is my love doi-"

He came to a halt when he saw the state you were in and that made him frown sadly. He was the strongest, had the Six Eyes, was flirty and carefree most of the times but everything people said about love and him was true.

"You'll find someone so special Gojo, so special that you'll change without your control."

And he'd always answer in the same way, saying that love was the most twisted curse and that he wouldn't fall for it.

"Well, I guess I ate my own words hehehe..."

He came next to you with a skip on his step and bent down to look at you face to face. You turned your head to your left and tried to smile softly but that made him frown and pout even more. He took your hand into his warm ones and rubbed your knuckles, upon realizing that he turned the Infinity off so that he could touch you , you squezed his hand and you two looked at each other for a minute when he started talking again.

"Migraines, right?"

You made a thumbs-up motion and he nodded his head thoughtfuly. But it didn't last long since he gasped audibly at you, pointing a finger at you.

"I know moving isn't the best choice but if you stay here, your neck will hurt too. Wait for a second and I'll prepare your bed, make an ice pack so that it may help with the pain and give you lots of water!"

And he took you in his arms slowly, walking to your shared bedroom softly. He put you in your bed after opening the covers and draped a blanket on your fragile form. He went to kitchen and not so long after, he came with a small ice pack and put it on your head slowly. You winced at the coldness and he shushed you softly, kissing your nose.

"I know, I know... but this will help you. I brought water and your meds as well, so after drinking it, you'll feel better and sleep easily..."

He sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for you to drink your meds. Because of the pain, you forgot to take your meds, which was a proof how bad it was. He looked at you questioningly with a finger between his lips and asked,

"Why it is that severe, now? You never had them those painful."

Since you took the meds and the pain was disappearing slowly and the cold from the ice pack made you feel a bit better, you deadpanned and growled at him angrily.

"Satoru... Unlike you, I gave the kid a training and did all your paper job because the old man was that close to kill you. And you ask me why it's painful?"

He lifted his hand as if saying that yes, you were indeed right, he sighed at your sleepy state now and kissed your forehead after taking the the ice-pack. Smiling softly at you and patting your head gently, he looked at you with a loving gaze and looked around himself. He still remembered the state the house was in and realized that you were having this pain more than a few days.

He got up immediately and with the purpose of cleaning the house he shared with you so that he would take some weight off of your shoulder, he softly whispered to you.

"Don't you worry, my kikufuku... I'll take care of you this time!"

[niskoo]

[16:49]

pairing: boyfriend! Heeseung x reader (sick! reader)

genre: fluff

warnings: illness omg i swear its just a fever not covid

word count: 1.1k words

a/n: hello there!! another heeseung request woAh yall really whipped for this man huh thank you anon for another heeseung request!! this one was very cute to write <33 i literally wrote like half of this legit just now because i felt bad for taking too long aaa </3 bUT TYSM TO ANON FOR THE REQUEST HIHIHI YES I LIKED WRITING THIS

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!

You never want to admit that anyone was right, especially when it came to your boyfriend (who is always right). But this time, you can't help but think of how right he was. You sniffle back a sneeze as you hug yourself tighter, regretting your choices of running out in the rain.

Though it definitely was fun, you should've been careful.

Now here you are, at home, skipping classes because you have a fever. Heeseung was currently in class, he warned if you got up and went to campus he would drop class and drive you back home.

Groans erupt from your throat when you feel extra cold that minute, burying yourself further into the bedsheets. You want nothing but to sleep and feel better, and some of Heeseung's cuddles, nothing is as good as his cuddles.

Groans erupt from your throat when you feel extra cold that minute, burying yourself further into the bedsheets. You want nothing but to sleep and feel better, and some of Heeseung's cuddles, nothing is as good as his cuddles.

Fortunately, Heeseung cuddles were on the way, as your boyfriend entered the apartment with a loud yell stating how you should be in bed, which you are.

He comes into your room and quickly as he had come into the apartment, tossing his jacket somewhere on the floor. "Gosh Y/n, why is it so dark in here?"

You can only sniffle and groan back, thrashing around the bed like a child being woken up in the morning. Heeseung chuckles at your vulnerable form, a teasing smile grazing his face as he approaches you, “What is it baby?”

You hate it when you’re sick, one reason being how shitty you feel, but the primary reason is because Heeseung would baby you and tease you all day. As much as you claimed to hate it, a part of you knew you loved how caring he was and how much he tried to cheer you up.

Your boyfriend caresses your warm cheek in adoration, “Have you taken your medicine?” You sigh into Heeseung’s touch, shaking your head in disappointment, “No, whenever I tried to I just got too dizzy,”

Heeseung coos at that, carefully helping you sit up and against the headboard of your bed. He notices how tired you look, with your pale face and permanent pained look on his face, and he grows guilty. He knows how much you hate getting sick. How much you long to go out and do normal things without getting sick the next second. But it is your fault, after all.

Heeseung sighs and brushes your hair from your face, bringing his fingers up to massage your scalp and temple diligently. A satisfied grin grows on his face when your expressions visibly relax and you lean into his touch.

A sudden strike of nausea floods your mind, causing you to whimper painfully and lean forward and onto Heeseung’s shoulder. It echoes through your head and spreads through your body, your lungs starting to quicken their work as you start to pant.

“Oh, love,” Heeseung mumbles out in sympathy, hands lowering to caress and rub your back soothingly, shushing you lovingly and whispering encouragement into your ear, “Shh, come on love, let’s calm down and take that medicine.”

Lucky for you, your boyfriend’s friends were nice enough to buy the medicine and take it to you when Heeseung was busy tutoring a junior. Jake really made sure you would get some sleep, and Niki even made Jungwon jump and run around the room, claiming it would work because he’s a sheep garden. It did not help at all.

You take in a deep breath, channeling your inner relaxation, before nodding and slowly removing yourself from Heeseung’s shoulder. Your eyes stay shut as you lean back onto the headboard, suppressing the incoming migraine, and quickly gesture to the medicine on your night stand.

The next thing you know, Heeseung is carefully guiding the spoonful of medicine into your mouth, quietly mumbling a small ‘aaah’. He wipes the little drop of medicine on your bottom lip as soon as you swallow, rubbing comforting circles on your thigh.

“Have you eaten?” Reluctantly, you shake your head and lick your lips, looking up at Heeseung with guilty eyes. He only chuckles, kissing your warm forehead, “It’s okay, I’ll make us some ramen.” With one last peck at your nose, your boyfriend gets up to start his journey of making your lunch—or dinner—linner? He doesn’t know.

“Get some more rest, baby, you really need it,” and the room is silent and dark yet once again as you are left alone in it, with your awful headache that starts to invade your thoughts. Even worse, you’re starting to feel cold, and your nose is starting to go runny as well.

You sniffle, and flop back into your bed, burying yourself beneath the covers in hopes of your headache going away. You stay there for what felt like just a few moments, your head pounding in pain. It throbs and pulses throughout your body, causing you to grow more and more distressed.

That is, until you hear the melodious voice of your significant other, and the smell of your favorite ramen you grew to love after it was suggested by Sunoo. Your mind instantly calms down, the ‘la’s and ‘li’s that leave Heeseung’s lips replace all discomfort in your mind, swarming all over your body like relief when you realize you have indeed finished your homework a day before it’s due.

You make the decision of getting out of bed to go help Heeseung with the ramen, walking quite quickly despite being sick. You enter your living room, where you can hear Heeseung clearer, and it gives you more motivation to join him in the kitchen.

That’s exactly what you do, you quickly embrace yourself around Heeseung’s back, squishing your face back into his shoulder.

“Oh? Baby?” Instantly, Heeseung turns around to cradle you to his chest, “Baby you’re not supposed to be out of bed!”

“Wanted to help you,”

Your boyfriend sighs and places a lingering kiss to your forehead, before quickly detaching himself from you, just to peel his sweater off him. He pulls it down your head, helping you into the material.

A growing grin is the second thing keeping you warm, the third being Heeseung’s sweater, and the very first being his hold on your face as he peppers small pecks all over your cheeks.

“Go to the couch, love, I’ll meet you there with our food.”

You spend the day eating ramen on the couch, watching a few cartoons you used to watch as kids. You use your excuse of being cold and sick to cuddle Heeseung, nodding off to sleep on his body as he threads his fingers through your hair and keeping his lips pressed against your hair.

[houseof-harry]

What Happened in Jersey Pt. 3 | G.D.

A/N - YALL! Buckle up, I’ve been working on this part for legit a week and I’m proud of how it came out. It’s a little long, but so much happens so get excited! Let me know what you think! Read Part 2 here!!!

Word Count - 7.6K

Warnings - mentions of smut

***

Recap:

“Don’t freak yourself out, though. He’s a good guy,” Jessie sighs. You rub your hands over your stomach, getting lost in your thoughts. That’s when you remember something very important that you don’t know about Grayson.

“What’s his number?”

“Grayson’s?” Jessie laughs out.

“No, my other baby daddy,” you joke.

“I’ll give it to you and then we’ll head to breakfast?” You sit up and nod.

“Thank god that’s over. Things can only get better from here, right?”

***

The next couple of weeks were pretty nice and uneventful. You got Grayson’s number and, as he said, you texted every day. You’d actually Facetime a lot, too. He says it’s because he wants to see the baby bump once it starts to come in.

You would tell him about your day, related to the pregnancy and not, and he would tell you about his adventures with Ethan and all the things he found doing his research on the internet. He keeps you updated on the fruit or vegetable that’s continuing to grow inside you as the time passes. He tried to find any solution he can to your morning sickness that has persisted. He even sent you a couple care packages with the things you said you craved, but it usually would come too late for you to enjoy. The look of the foods would make you nauseous, but your roommates loved the free treats.

The great part of all of this is that you have a relationship forming with your baby daddy, who will inevitably be in your life forever.

The bad part of all of this is that you are definitely falling for him.

You had a crush on him, and to be quite frank who wouldn’t. This hot guy has not only been talking to you every day, checking in with you and making sure you’re okay, but you’re literally pregnant with his baby. From having hot ass sex in the bathroom at New Year’s.

So it was safe to say you were into him. Which terrified you. Because there was no way he was into you. You were constantly ready for him to just never respond again, or for him to totally drop you and your baby for someone else, someone else with way less baggage. So you would do your best to keep it friendly and push him away whenever you felt like things were getting past friendly. You know, the healthy way to deal with your emotions.

Little to your knowledge, Grayson definitely had it worse than you. A part of him believed this was the universe giving him a huge ass sign that this was his future. You and your baby together were the beginning of your future as a family. But, he also recognizes that he is a hopeless romantic and has done this many times before. However, never with a baby involved and he was terrified of scaring you away. So he would try his best to keep everything friendly. Of course, he always miserably failed.

Your roommates and friends were definitely catching on to what was happening. They knew you were talking to the guy you met over winter break. However, you still managed to keep the news of the pregnancy to yourself. Given, you used bribery as your main mode of keeping their excited minds at bay, but if it works then it works. If they brought up your sickness or any of your other odd behavior, you’d remind them of the free food from the care packages you would give them and if they wanted it to continue, they should be minding their business. A bit harsh, but they wouldn’t let up otherwise.

You managed to get to spring break without anyone asking the big question, and you were grateful for it. You weren’t sure how you’d lie to them.

Your best friend’s house would be a different story. Anna will notice every little change in you that’s happened since you last saw her in December, and you definitely would not be able to come up with a lie to explain it all away. So you decide that as soon as she asks, you’d spill.

That actually went pretty smoothly. She was supportive and excited for you. However, she didn’t trust Grayson one bit and had even found his Instagram (despite you withholding his last name) and showed you his 9 million followers. This made you spiral a bit. Were you ruining his career? Did he have a life in LA he could never leave for your baby? Is he going to bring all these influencers around your baby?

Before you can control your actions, you’re facetiming Grayson.

His bright smile pops up on your screen. “Hey sweet girl, what’s up?” Every time he calls you that it makes you feel warm inside. It terrifies you because you don’t want to get to attached to him when you’re just friends. Who are having a baby together. Just friends who are having a baby together.

When he notices your furrowed brow and your lack of a smile, his happiness vanishes and is replaced with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Anna showed me your Instagram,” you mumble. You’re almost embarrassed. You sound like a child. You instantly regret calling him.

“Anna did what?” He brings the phone closer to him so he can hear better.

“Anna found your Instagram and showed it to me.” “Oh.” You nod. “What…what did you think? Pretty douchy?” This makes you giggle as you shake your head. He lets out a breath once he sees your small smile.

“No. Just a lot of followers and stuff. I didn’t know you guys were that well known or anything.”

He coughs awkwardly and nods. “Uh, yeah. Is that okay?”

You sigh and frown. Your intention was never to make him feel bad about it.

“Of course. It’s your job, and your passion. I love watching you edit and stuff. You never have to be scared of what I think, I’ll always support you. Just intimidates me a bit, knowing that eventually 9 million people are going to be involved in my life.”

“We will do everything we can to keep you and our strawberry safe and off social media for as long as you want. Ethan already knows that’s the plan too and we’ve been filming some random videos for if we are ever out of commission for a little while for you guys.”

Thinks makes you smile while your features soften. You bite your lip, deciding on whether or not you should share all of your concerns.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Grayson has gotten really good at reading you, even over the phone. You’d like to think it’s the emotions of the pregnancy that give you away, but he’ll catch you even when you think you’re hiding it well.

“I dunno.” You shrug and look away, bringing your knees to your body.

“Liar. Come on, what’s going on? I can’t help make you feel better if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Your bottom lip quivers as you try your best to stop the tears from clouding your vision. He was always so nice to you, and it made you wanna cry every time.

“I don’t know. It just got me thinking about how your life is in LA and eventually you’ll meet someone out there and then I’ll be here just figuring things out alone. I don’t know, scares me sometimes to think about it.” You refuse to look at him while you speak and you’re met with silence at first.

“Y/N, why are you always waiting for something to go wrong? I’m dedicated to our baby for the rest of forever, and I’m dedicated to you too,” he sighs. He looks like he’s about to say something else but decides against it.

“Sorry. It’s hard for me to trust people easily. Not that you’ve done anything wrong, you’ve actually done everything you could. I just-“ you bite your lip, hesitant to continue. Maybe you shouldn’t be loading your trauma onto him right before bed.

“Hey, I get it. It’s okay. Every time you’re scared of any of that, remember you’re not in it alone and we’re going to do everything together, good and bad. Plus, we get to finally see each other again in a couple of days. And, we get to see baby on the screen.” He smiles, rubbing his chest. His reminder makes you wipe under your eyes as you nod. “Plus, I’ve planned a day in the city for us and Ethan to do some fun shit.  It’s gonna be a good week, sweet girl. Can I see your smile?” This instantly makes you smile and he can’t stop cheesing either.  “It’s late there. You should be sleeping. Are you good to sleep? Or do you wanna stay on the phone a bit longer?”

You look at the clock and see it’s 1 am. Your eyes widen as you take a big breath in. “Uh, yeah I should go to bed. You don’t have to stay on with me, I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do.” You start to get under your covers, laying back.

“I’m gonna get in bed, too. We can stay on for a bit until you fall asleep. Gotta rest up for our strawberry.”

You breathe deeply through your nose to calm your emotions before agreeing. Maybe having his presence there, even over the phone, will make you feel better.

You get under your covers and settle in, putting your phone on the pillow next to you. It was nice hearing his breathing, and you closed your eyes.

“Thank you,” you mumble, barely audible. You assume he doesn’t even hear it. Hell, he might be asleep already.

“Anything for my sweet girl.” You hear him breathe out.

Your body instantly relaxes, and you’re finally able to fall asleep.

***

Wednesday quickly rolls around and before you know it, you’re on the road to your appointment.

Grayson would be meeting you at the office. You had sent him the address yesterday after his flight got in. You felt bad for having a morning appointment because he’s three hours behind coming from California on top of the fact that he had a farther drive. That was the only appointment you could get for that week, though.

You get a call from him when you’re five minutes away.

“Hey Gray.” You know you sound nervous, but you hope he ignores it.

“Hey. I’m here. Want me to wait in the parking lot or should I go in?” You can hear the roughness of his voice, he must be exhausted.

“Uh, wait in the parking lot. It’s a big building, kinda hard to navigate. I’m only five minutes away.”

“Perfect, I’m in the orange truck. See you soon”

You smile, but remember he can’t see you. “Okay, see you soon.” You hang up and the butterflies instantly begin in your tummy.

The last time you were with Grayson in person he was making you pregnant. You hoped that the last month and a half of talking will make it easy to be in person with him, but you never know. What if it’s awkward and uncomfortable?

You pull into the parking lot and you see his truck instantly. Not many people have orange pickups in your area. Or in general, you’d assume. You pull into the spot next to his passenger side door. He looks up when your car pulls in, and his bright smile is painted across his face. He’s jumping out of his car before you’ve even stopped yours. You grab your purse and get out, closing the door and looking up. He’s antsy on his feet waiting at the back of the cars for you to walk to him.

“Hi sweet girl.” He opens his arms as you walk towards him and you allow your body to collide with his. His arms are around you in an instant and you hold him close to you by his torso. It feels like the world has stopped. He smells clean and fresh, just like he did the last time and it overwhelms your senses.

He rubs your back, not moving away from you and you definitely don’t complain. Hugging him has made you feel calmer than you had felt since you first found out you were pregnant. He was a safe haven while the rest of the world continued to go on.

Eventually, you turn your head to look up at him, keeping him in your arms, your chin resting on his chest with a wide smile plastered on your face. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling? Excited?” He smooths one of his hands over your hair before cupping your cheek.

You nod. “Yeah. It’ll be the first appointment where I can hear the heartbeat. I’m just excited to see our baby.”

He smiles. “Our baby, yeah. God, it’s so good to be here with you. Good to hold you.” He squats down and holds your stomach, his face coming close to your slightly pudgy belly. Your hands rest on his shoulders while your cheeks heat up.

“Hi, baby. It’s nice to finally meet you. Thanks for watching out for your mama, she doesn’t actually like being alone as much as she says she does.” You laugh at this, rubbing your hand over the spot he’s talking to.

“We need to go in if we wanna be on time.” You grab his wrists and pull him back up. He puts a hand on your lower back as you start to walk.

You make it into the building, check in, and are called back. The nurse gets everything she needs from you and leaves you and Grayson alone in the exam room.

He’s pacing around as you sit on the exam table, refusing to look.

“What’s up?” You interrupt his thoughts, a concerned look on your face.

“Huh? Oh. It’s just crazy that I’m meeting our baby for the first time today. Really wild. In a good way though.” He smiles and walks next to you. Before you can respond, there’s a knock and then your doctor is walking in.

“Hey, Y/N.” He smiles at you.

“Hi Dr. Jordan.” You wave.

“And you must be the father. Dr. Jordan, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He holds his hand out to Grayson and he shakes it.

“Grayson,” is all he says.

“So, we’re having a baby?” His smile widens as you and Grayson both nod back.

“Yeah, we are,” you respond.

“Let’s cut to the chase then and check up on ‘em. How does that sound?” He moves around, getting the ultrasound machine ready to go.

“Really good.” You smile at Grayson and he gives you a small one back. You can see he’s really nervous, so once you lay back and lift your shirt to just below your boobs, you’re grabbing his hand in yours. This appears to ground him a bit as he starts breathing normally again.

The doctor moves your pants down a bit so they’re out of the way before grabbing the gel.

“It’s going to be a bit cold.” You nod and gasp when the gel hits your skin, gripping Grayson a bit harder, a shiver running up your spine. Grayson squeezes you back and you look at him. He’s watching the screen as the doctor moves the wand around.

Dr. Jordan is quiet for a little while you watch him. All of a sudden, you hear a thumping from the machine and Dr. Jordan smiles.

“That’s a heartbeat, guys.” Your free hand goes over your heart, your eyes filling with tears. Grayson looks close to crying too. He lifts your hand to kiss the back of it.

“Baby looks nice and healthy, growing at the right rate. Y/N, I’m gonna ask you to get a blood draw and to leave a urine sample, but otherwise you guys are good to go. Any questions?” Dr. Jordan asks while he wipes the gel off your stomach.

You and Grayson both look at each other, tears still threatening to spill and smiles on your face. You shake your head, unwillingly looking away and back at Dr. Jordan. “No, I think we’re good.”

Dr. Jordan smiles at the both of you. “Sounds good. Call us if you ever have any questions, okay? And congratulations, I’m excited for you both.” He stands and leaves.

You let go of Grayson’s hand to sit up and adjust your clothes. He continues to stand there just watching you. When you hop off and look up at him, a tear has rolled down his cheek.

“Are you okay?” Your brows pull together in concern and you grab his biceps lightly, rubbing up and down. This seems to snap him out of his trance a bit.

“Uh, yeah. That was just really incredible. We met our baby today. You’re growing our baby in here,” he puts both hands on your stomach and you giggle.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Thank you.” He looks so sincerely into your eyes, making you blush.

“You ready to go?” You ask, walking away from him to grab your purse. This man is way too powerful to be making you feel a certain type of way. You are two friends having a baby. A friend baby.

He looks a bit hurt for a moment but quickly recovers. “Uh, yeah.” He walks to the door and opens it for you.

You get your tests all done and figured out, and schedule your next appointment for around Easter so that you’d have an excuse to be home from school. Before you know it, you and Grayson are walking out of the doctor’s office. He’s got an arm around your shoulder as you approach your cars.

“Can I bring you and strawberry to lunch? I don’t wanna leave you guys yet,” he says sheepishly, almost like he was nervous to ask you.

“Sure,” you smile up at him and wrap your arm around his waist. He lets out a breath of air he had been holding in and relaxes a bit.

“Cool. I’ll drive us and bring you back here after. Don’t need you woozy behind the wheel after your blood draw.” He rubs your shoulder.

“How is it that we are literally having a baby together and you somehow treat me like I’m the baby?” You laugh.

“One day you’ll let me take care of you,” he chuckles, shaking his head as you part ways to get into his truck.

You get into the passenger seat, buckling in. You were floating on cloud nine, it felt like you and Grayson were actually a little family.

Your thoughts are interrupted when he gets into his seat and adjusts.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks while he buckles.

“Of course.”

“Do you think we could, like, record a little video update or something?” You raise your brows, a bit confused.

“Of what?”

“Just like our thoughts and reactions and stuff. I was thinking I could put a video together at the end of all this for us and our baby when we’re all older and wanna remember. It wouldn’t go on YouTube or anything, not unless you wanted it to. And you probably don’t know a better video editor to do this project,” he bites his lip and raises his eyebrows while trying to gauge your reaction.

Your eyes are suddenly filled with tears again, thinking about how much Grayson really loves this baby. You nod and wipe under your eyes. “Yeah, that’d be cute,” you squeak out, not trying to let on how affected you are buy his words.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He moves his hand to rub your thigh. “Only good things, sweet girl.”

You nod and laugh. “I know. Everything makes me cry now.” You sniffle and breath in, collecting yourself a bit. “I’m ready, let’s do it.”

He reaches into his pocket and brings his phone out, holding it up so that you’re both in the frame. He starts to record and you watch the both of you on the screen. “Hello to whoever is lucky enough to be shown this video.” This makes you giggle, and he smiles. “We just got out of our first appointment together and saw our little baby for the first time.” He instinctively puts his hand on your stomach and your hand goes on top of his. “If you’re our precious baby watching this, we are so excited to meet you. Your mama and I already love you so much.” This makes you squeeze his hand and he looks over to you. “Anything you wanna say?”

“I dunno. What do you think I should say?” You giggle, your cheeks flushing when you meet his eyes.

“Anything you’ll wanna remember in a couple years. I know it’s weird talking to a camera at first, but I’ll cut this all out.” His gaze is kind and patient while you think of what you want to say.

“It’s still so surreal that I’m even pregnant, but hearing our baby’s heartbeat today has made me so grateful I’m able to be in this position. I’ve been so excited to be a mom my whole life, so if you’re my beautiful baby watching, thank you for making my dreams come true.” You smile at the camera and Grayson keeps his eyes on you. You look to him expectantly.

He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts before turning to look at the camera.

“We’re about to go feed mama and baby now, as long as they’re feeling good of course. If baby is watching this still, thank your mom for all she went through for you when she was growing you, she’s working hard,” he chuckles and you laugh.

“I’m feeling good right now. Want a turkey BLT, actually.”

“What the woman wants, she gets. We’ll see you whenever the next exciting thing happens.” He turns the recording off and puts his phone away, starting the car.

“That’s gonna be really cute,” you sigh, the smile still sitting on your face.

“Yeah, I think it’ll be nice to have when we want to look back on all of this,” he pauses. “Do you know somewhere nearby with good sandwiches?”

“Yeah, there’s a deli like five minutes from here.”

You and Grayson head to the deli and have a nice lunch. Well, you do. Grayson eats a plain roll and pickles because all of the sandwiches had meat on them. You felt really bad, but he assured you it was okay because your little strawberry was craving a BLT.

Once you finish your sandwich, you notice he’s kind of zoned out.

“Grayson?” You look at him, folding your trash up while he just stares at you.

“Come stay with me for the rest of your break,” he blurts out all of a sudden. Your eyes widen.

“What?”

“Come stay for the next few days. We’re not going to get a lot of time together until you’re already halfway through everything.”

You start laughing awkwardly. “Grayson, I can’t just live with your family for a few days, they don’t know me. We don’t really know each other. Wouldn’t that be weird?”

He opens his mouth to rebuttal, but closes it again to think for a moment.

“It’s okay, Grayson. We don’t have to act like any of this is normal, we don’t have to force anything. Everything you’ve done for me has really been for strawberry. Don’t feel like you have any obligation to me.”

Grayson looks a bit hurt by your words, but nods. “Ready to go?” He stands up.

You sigh and nod, getting up with him. You throw your trash out and walk out with him. His hand doesn’t reach for you.

When you’re both settled back into his car, he sighs out your name so that you’ll look at him.

“I know this is all weird and stuff, but we’re going to have to be friends to raise this baby together. And my friends have come to stay with me at this house before. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Nine months isn’t a long time to start, never mind the fact that we won’t really see each other until you graduate, and I want us to be in the best place possible for our baby.” He starts the car, not looking at you while he finishes speaking.

“I’m sorry I got weird. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything for me.” You cross your arms, trying to shrink into the cushions of your seat.

“You’re right, technically I don’t. But I’m not a piece of shit and I plan on being a good dad. Plus, any friend of Jessie’s is a friend of mine, so even if you hadn’t gotten pregnant, we still would have hung out whenever you were in Jersey. I do what I want, and this is what I want to do.” He stops at a red light and looks at you for a second to see a pout on your lips. “And I hate being the reason you don’t smile. So, if you wanna, come stay with me for the next few days let’s do it, but if that makes you uncomfortable you should stay with Anna. We’re in the same boat, we both don’t have do anything we don’t want to.”

You sit there silently, pondering for a moment. A part of you dwells on the fact that he said you guys are friends, but friends don’t have other friend’s babies and then have them stay at their house with their family. The other part of you wants to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy your time with him before he moves on to start a life with someone for real.

“I’ll come,” you mumble. It almost surprises you more than Grayson that that’s your answer. You’re gonna blame the hormones for making you so impulsive.

“Okay.” His smile grows across his face. “Do you wanna come tomorrow morning so that you can have one more night with Anna?”

“Yeah, they’re gonna want to have dinner with me tonight if I’m not going to see them for a while.”

You guys pull back into the doctor’s office parking lot and he brings you back to your car. He parks and turns to you.

“I’m really excited to spend time with you, Y/N. Besides the fact you’re pregnant with my kid, you’re pretty funny sometimes,” he laughs. You scoff jokingly, biting your lip as you look at him.

“Sometimes? Well I think your jokes are cheesy.”

“Oh, do you now? Is that why you laugh every time?”

“Shut up,” you laugh with him, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? And don’t freak yourself out about meeting my mom, she’s excited to meet you. She’s really excited to meet the amazing woman giving her a grandchild.”

Your eyes widen a bit. “I forgot I was going to meet her. Now I’m more freaked out than before.” You wondered how you’d even introduce yourself to her. Hi I’m Y/N, your son and I hooked up literally once and are now having a baby.

“Hey, get out of your head, sweet girl. I told you, she’s excited. You’ll get along well, anyways. You’re pretty similar people.” He leans over to rub your thigh.

“Okay, I trust you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You squeeze his hand and open the door to get out. You turn to close the door and it looks like he wants to say something, but doesn’t. You wave and shut the door before getting back in your car.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

***

Grayson walks back into his house, almost body slamming Ethan by accident.

“Dude, watch out. Were you sitting here waiting for me the whole time?” He jokes, an annoyed Ethan rubbing his chest where Grayson’s shoulder hit him.

“No, stupid. I was going to take the quad for a ride. How’d the appointment go?” He watches Grayson put his keys down.

“Good. We heard the heartbeat and stuff, everyone’s healthy.” Grayson smiles to himself just thinking about it.

“It took, like, three hours for the doctor just to tell you that? Ma and I were scared something bad happened.”

“Nah, I took Y/N to lunch after because she really wanted a sandwich and it’s usually hard for her to even eat anything that early.”

“Oh, a date?” Ethan raises his brow as Grayson turns to him. Grayson rolls his eyes.

“No. A ‘you’re pregnant with my baby thanks for growing it’ lunch.”

“Yeah, okay. You’re gonna lie and tell me you’re not already in love with her or some shit?”

“E,” Grayson groans.

“No dude, you have to be careful. She’s going to be a part of your life forever now. Don’t fuck it up by falling too fast and then moving on. She’s not one of your ‘soulmates.’ She’s the mother of your kid. Just be smart.” Ethan opens the door and goes outside.

Grayson stands there for a minute, considering what Ethan said. He’s right, he can’t get caught up in any feelings he has for you because whatever relationship you have, it has to last forever. He knows he has the tendency to fall fast and then move on fast, too. He can’t do that with you.

***

You say your goodbye’s to Anna and her family before you head off to Jersey. You decide to call Grayson instead of texting him to let him know you’ve left. He picks up on the fourth ring.

“Hey, what’s up? Everything okay?”

This makes you laugh. “Yeah, the only time something is wrong is when I call you and something is wrong is at night. I just wanted to let you know I left so I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Oh, good. Okay. Can I make any breakfast for you?”

“Absolutely not. Can’t eat right now.”

“I’m sorry.” He pauses. “I’m gonna go to the store right now, tell me what you need.” You hear him shuffle around on the other end.

“What I need? Nothing,” you giggle.

“Oh my god my baby mama doesn’t even use shampoo I think I’m the one who has morning sickness now,” you hear him fake gag which makes you laugh harder.

“Grayson, I’ve got little toiletries and stuff. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want you to be fine, I want you to be comfortable. Now tell me what I’m buying you because I’m already in the car.”

You list off all the products you use, the snacks have been your favorites, and he even says he’s going to get facemasks for you all to do.

When you pull into the long driveway, the butterflies erupt in your stomach. You had absolutely no clue how this would go, but there was no turning back now. You couldn’t, the driveway was too narrow to do that.

You reach the house and pull up next to the other cars in the driveway. You see Grayson sitting on the porch, which makes you laugh.

You turn the car off and go to gather your things when you hear your door open. You turn and see a giddy Grayson standing there.

“Hey.”

You laugh. “Hi there.”

“Where’s your stuff?”

“My bag is in the back seat.” He moves to grab your bag as you get your purse and hop out of the car, closing your door. He does the same once he’s got your bag on his shoulder.

“Welcome to the humble abode,” he says as he leads you by putting his hand on your back. You walk to the door and he opens it, letting you step in first.

“It is so nice in here.”

“My mom is super into décor and stuff. Wanna see where you’re staying?” You nod and he leads you to a closed door. When you look inside you see a bed next to… the washing and drier machine? You give him a questioning look.

“So we don’t have a guest room and I moved my bed into here because Ethan is annoying and I can’t share a room with him anymore. I’ll sleep on the couch.” You nod, walking inside. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not ideal. Ethan and I are gonna look for our own place when we’re back for the summer.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve slept in way worse place,” you giggle and he raises his brow.

“Alright, won’t ask. Ethan’s been low key dying to see you, even if he won’t admit it. He’s excited to meet his little niece or nephew.”

“Well I can’t deny him of that, can I? Where is he?”

Grayson leads you out into the main area. Ethan’s sitting at the dining table on his computer when he looks up and sees you. He’s immediately jumping up out of his seat.

“Y/N!” He runs over, but is stopped short by Grayson’s hand on his chest.

“Chill, bro. She’s pregnant. Don’t tackle her.”

Ethan rolls his eyes, ignoring him and keeping eye contact with you. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you giggle. He looks at you expectantly. You’re fully laughing now as you grab his hand and put it on your stomach. He’s falling to his knees instantly, his other hand going to the other side of your tummy.

“Hey baby. I know you don’t have ears or anything yet, but this is Uncle E talking to you. You have a whole bunch of people out here waiting for your arrival, but I’m definitely the most excited.” Grayson slaps the back of his head. “Ow. Okay, most excited besides your parents. I’ll be the cool uncle and all that.” He stands back up, looking at you again. “Sorry. Hi, how are you?” He laughs.

“I’m good, how are you?” You giggle.

“Good, yeah,” he nods. You all just stand there for a second looking at one another.

“Okay, we’re getting all the awkward out now because I refuse to be treated like the random hookup who got pregnant. Okay?” You look at the both of them and they look a bit surprised by your boldness. “Sorry, I’ve lost the little filter I had before.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Awkward is all gone now. Let’s give you a tour.” Ethan puts an arm around your shoulder and brings you into the kitchen, leaving Grayson where he’s standing. He follows behind you, his hands in his pockets while he watches the both of you interact.

You and Ethan get along really well. After your initial moment, it seems like you’d actually be really good friends. You felt bad for not talking to him more over winter break.

Grayson is not a huge fan. He’s sitting on the sidelines watching you talk and laugh while Ethan tells you all about the new video they’re editing right now. Before Grayson can cut in, Lisa walks in.

She smiles. “You must be Y/N.”

You stand from your chair, giving a soft smile as you wipe your sweaty hands on your leggings. “Hi, Mrs. Dolan. It’s really nice to meet you.” You hold your hand out to her and she laughs, pulling you into a hug.

“Honey, call me Lisa.” She rubs your back before pulling away and holding your elbows to look you in the eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good!”

“Really? That’s good! These two put me through hell when I was pregnant with them. Can I get you anything?” You shake your head.

“No, I’m okay for now.”

“Just trying not to puke?” You laugh and nod. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“I’d know that face anywhere. Your first trimester is almost over, so you should be feeling better soon. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” She squeezes your arms before stepping back.

“Of course. Thank you for letting me stay.”

“This home is as much yours as it is Grayson’s now. You’re welcome here any time.” You smile and nod.

“Alright, you’re all gonna scare her away. Y/N, come see upstairs?” Grayson interjects and a part of you is relieved. Even though things were going really well, you were still on edge. You nod and go to follow him upstairs.

“I’m sorry about that, they just want you to feel comfortable here.” He leads you into a bathroom and shuts the door, making you laugh. “What?”

“The last time we were in this situation I got pregnant.” He starts laughing with you and you let your hand fall onto his shoulder.

Once you calm down, you smile widely at him. “They’re good people. Nice people. I’m sorry if I seem rude or off, I was just so anxious.”

He nods and pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back. You melt into him snuggling into his warm chest.

“It’s okay, they definitely understand. Plus, you didn’t seem anything but positive and happy. I couldn’t even tell you were trying not to puke.” You can feel his laugh rumble up through his chest.

“I’m still trying not to,” you laugh with him and he pulls back holding your shoulders to inspect your face. “I’m not gonna. Probably.” He raises his eyebrow. “Okay, if I do I’ll tell you so you can leave.” His face falls at that.

“No, I’ll sit with you and rub your back and all that. Get you water and stuff.” You’re shaking your head immediately.

“I hate puking in front of people. It’s okay, I’ve been doing it for weeks now. I’ve got a routine.” He pouts and pulls you back into a hug.

“I’m sorry. Please tell me if I can do literally anything for you.”

“You do enough, Gray. Don’t worry about it,” you mumble into his chest.

“What do you usually do to feel better?”

“Anything to distract myself. I just need to not think about it.”

“Challenge accepted.” He removes himself completely from you, opening the door. “Let’s go.”

The rest of the day with the Dolans is great. Grayson was right, you and Lisa are very similar and get along almost as well as you and Ethan do. You’re grateful they’re being so kind to you. Grayson is happy you’re getting along with his family, but it also makes him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while. Jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit that he likes having all of your attention, but he can’t act like he doesn’t want it all the time. When you’re on the phone with him, you’re usually alone. He liked when he got to hear about your day and then he got to open up to you. What can he say, he’s a selfish man.

That’s why when the night is winding down, he asks his family if you guys can watch a movie alone. Lisa goes up to her room for the night, but Ethan isn’t so kind at first.

“What, you don’t want me to crash your date?” He sits beside you on the couch where you’re right next to Grayson. Your cheeks blush and Grayson rolls his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, E. Go away, you’ve harassed her all day.”

You open your mouth to say something but Ethan beats you to it.

“What if she likes spending time with me? After all, I am the better twin.”

“Bro if you don’t stop talking, I’ll fucking hit you.” “Yeah Gray? Doubt it. Y/N, I don’t blame you for-“ Ethan can’t finish his sentence before Grayson is up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to get him to stand up.

“Out. Now.” Ethan holds his hands up in mock surrender as he backs away.

“Fine. I’m out. But, you know. Have a good date. Use protection.” He laughs as he walks up the stairs. You chuckle as Grayson huffs and plops down next to you.

“I fucking hate him sometimes. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, that shit was kind of funny.”

Grayson settles in, remote in one hand and your thigh in the other. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Anything’s fine, I’m pretty tired anyways.” He nods and puts on Someone Great. You’d already seen it, but you didn’t say anything. You’d probably be asleep within ten minutes, anyway.

You were right. You don’t even remember seeing the first five minutes of the movie. You’re slumped on Grayson’s shoulder, snoring softly.

Grayson does everything in his power not to move, not wanting to disturb you. He thought you were cute when you slept.

You’re woken up when you feel Grayson shifting underneath you. You’d moved to be half on top of him in your sleep. You decide to ignore it, hoping you’d just fall back asleep. But, he’s moving under you again.

“Gray?” You mumble, barely audible.

“Sorry, sweet girl. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. Stop moving.”

“Yeah, okay.” He puts his hands on your torso, shifting you a bit before he stills. That’s when you realize what you hear. There are moans coming from the tv. You open one eye, looking at the screen and sure enough they’re having sex. You giggle a bit.

“Hmm?” Grayson hums, running a hand over your back.

“Did the sex scene make you uncomfy?” This makes him laugh, shaking your body with his.

“No. Not uncomfy.” You suck in a breath at the implication of his words. You think back to what Anna said. Pregnant sex would probably be really hot. But you have no idea if he’d even be interested in that.

“Missing your girls from LA?” You’re asking before you can control your tongue. Your eyes widen as you realize what you’ve said. You might just chop your tongue off completely.

“What?”

“Nothing, was a joke. Let me sleep.” You breathe out, hoping he didn’t hear you.

“Y/N.” He pats your back and then pushing your shoulder to roll you over. He grabs your chin so you have to look at him. “What did you say?”

“I asked if you were missing your LA girls. It was a joke, because of the whole sex scene. Didn’t mean anything by it.” His face looks stone cold, like you’ve made him mad. “I’m sorry.”

“There are no LA girls,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. You raise your eyebrows. “What, do you think I’m a fuck boy or some shit?”

“Well, kinda.”

He looks genuinely shocked at your words, shaking his head. “Y/N, no. Hell no. Even if I was before, not now. There’s no LA girls, and there never have been.” He crosses his arms, completely retracting from you. You sit up.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I know it’s a shitty assumption, but I mean what were we doing? I just thought you did that with everyone.”

He bites his lip, thinking carefully about what he wants to say next.

“I know what we did was only once, but I thought you were a good person. After we left, I kinda looked forward to when I’d see you over the summer whenever Jessie would bring you around. I don’t know what I was thinking or expecting, but it wasn’t a one and done deal. Ethan just really didn’t feel good that morning and made me leave before I could see you.”

You nod, taking this new information in. Of all the things he was going to say, you didn’t expect that. Although, he seems to always be filled with surprises.

“I’m sorry. It was a stupid comment, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Have there been any college guys?” He raises a brow.

“What? No. Even if I didn’t feel like a chubby marshmallow or some shit, no. I was…affected by our night together. And not just in the pregnant way.” You lean back next to him, mirror his posture.

“Oh, so you couldn’t stop thinking about my dick?” He smirks at you. You hit his arm and laugh.

“Shut up, that makes it sound so…dirty.”

“If it’s not dirty, then how were you thinking about it?”

“I don’t know. Just knew no one would really meet my expectations like you did.” Your voice is getting quieter and quieter as you feel like you want the couch to swallow you up.

“Yeah? How so?”

“You’re the first guy to make me finish.”

He gasps. “Y/N, no. Liar.”

You shake your head slowly, biting your lip.

“Wow. First guy to make you cum, first guy to impregnate you. I’m on a roll.” He puts his arm around your shoulder as you laugh.

“Oh god, I’m feeding his ego more and more.” You throw your arms up in defeat and he laughs.

“Well, the thought of you getting off to the thought of me this whole time definitely feeds my ego.”

Your cheeks blush as you roll your eyes. “Shut up.”

He laughs harder, pulling you closer to his body. “Nothing to be ashamed of, baby. Your hormones are raging. I’ve heard through the grapevine that pregnant women are horny all the time.”

“The grapevine? Who’s that?” “…Movies.”

“Alright well if you’ve got no LA girls, then you’ve been jerking off to the thought of me, too so I don’t appreciate the mockery.” You finally look at him, pointing your finger at him.

He bites his lips, his cheeks also becoming a dark shade of red. “You’ve caught me red handed.”

You giggle and poke his cheek. “That’s what I thought. Bet your fantasy is all ruined now that I’m getting bigger, though.”

He looks at you genuinely confused. “What?” You look at him with the same look of confusion. “Pregnancy isn’t sexy.”

He laughs. Like genuine, whole hearted laughter. “What are you talking about?” “What are you talking about?” You fire back.

“The fact that you’re pregnant with my baby is the hottest shit ever. I did that shit. We did that shit. It’s hot.”

“We can agree to disagree, then.”

So much for trying to keep things simple, Grayson thinks to himself.

“Let me prove it.”

***

Read the next part here

[lastluvbug]

Dude your little fool me once and twice series just stabbed me I'm the feels like, dude I am legit crying. XD WE NEED SOME FLUFF IN THIS PIECE SO ITS UP TO ME TO REQUEST SOMETHING! (if you are willing to do it you don't have to just saying.) So can you do a request where the MC (Yuu) has had a stressful day after dealing with some bullies that she has been trying not to tell anyone about but Kalim and Jamil end up finding out. What will they do?

Ahh!! Thank you thank you for the ask! Of course I’m willing to do it!

Warnings: Bullying

Desert Flower

“Fgnaaaaaaa!!!”

Yuu was roughly torn from her ever enigmatic dreaming by a scratchy scream and a distinct flush of heat to her side.

Yelping through her disorientation, she pushed herself away from the source of the burning, rubbing her eyes to clear away the sleep induced fuzziness. “G-Grim! Hey, what’s wrong?!” She cried, hands hovering just above the cat-like creature who was writhing on the bed, blue flame encircling him.

“Grim! Wake up! You’re having a nightmare!” She took the monster into her arms, biting back a wince as her hands were scorched by the heat, fading after a second as Grim’s eyes snapped open.

“Yuu...! Yuu, he was going to eat me!” He sobbed, cuddling into her embrace.

“Who? What was happening in your dream?”

“It was Jamil’s shadow! He looked so hungry, like he was going to...”

Yuu wanted to laugh, but she smiled softly instead, smoothing out Grim’s fur and petting lightly over his ears, quelling his hysteria. “It wasn’t real. I thought you were a great hero! A hero’s not afraid of anything, right?” She tempted, playing with his small paws.

“Absolutely! I-I’m not afraid of some silly monster!” Grim agreed, taking Yuu’s bait. She was going to reply, when a loud rumbling promptly shut her down, making her laugh briskly. “...But I am scared of this appetite! I’m starving, let’s eat!” He cheered, throwing a curled paw up.

“Hmph, so brave...” She sighed, setting Grim down, “go on down. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay~!”

Grim leapt off the bed, mumbling something Yuu couldn’t quite catch as he left, kicking the door shut behind him.

Giggling at her friend’s antics, the smile was quickly forgotten as her hands began to sting, sharp as first but easing as she relaxed the muscles. Peering down at the soft skin, she groaned at the cherry red sight, slightly swollen and puffy from the burns they suffered. “Guess I have to be even more careful than before... just until this heals up, that is.”

Yuu was cautious as she stood from the bed and fixed her uniform, brushing out her hair and changing her sleepwear. She hesitated briefly as she glanced herself over in the mirror above the forever unlit fireplace, cringing at her face.

It was apparent she hadn’t gotten enough sleep, as usual, even without Grim’s little interruption. Further still, perhaps unnoticeable by anyone besides her, a dark, defeated darkness twisted her lips in a frown, her bright eyes dimmed with an unnamed melancholy.

She knew the reason why. She knew the reason why she hesitated in every class, why she started eating less and less, why it was becoming difficult to look anyone in the eye.

Pushing the room door open silently, Yuu headed down the hall, flexing her hands slowly in front of her as she sucked in a sharp breath. “That sure looks painful, did the kitty do that to you?” Yuu screamed at the sudden intrusion, jumping back a few feet as she glared at the ghost.

“Do you absolutely need to do that?” She scolded, growling.

“What do you want me to do? Wear a bell and jingle everywhere I go?” The chubby ghost joked, laughing heartily at Yuu’s unimpressed expression. “My concern is real, y’know. I’m not sure you should leave today, especially if you’re going to be hounded by those bullies again.”

Yuu flinched, clenching her fist despite the screaming pain that followed. That one had been her accident.

Ever since arriving at NRC, Yuu was accutely aware of her misplacement, both because of her gender and because of her lack of magical abilities. As if the self doubt wasn’t enough, it wasn’t long before some of the students made the same realization, and used it against her in the worst ways. Tormenting her, they called her names, ridiculed her, broke her down inch by inch.

It wasn’t until she happened to stumble upon a certain pair of classmates that she found a way to cope. She couldn’t remember exactly how she met Kalim Al-Asim and Jamil Viper, but could vaguely recall bumping into the shorter during lunch, earning a snide remark from the vice and a carefree laugh from the head. From there, she found herself spending more and more time with the duo, eventually earning the trust and friendship from them, though it took a while to break down Jamil’s guard.

That was how she managed to hide her secret for so long. She’d met so many people, made so many friends, but none like Kalim and Jamil. She knew that they had a full plate as it was, but adding her problems to it? No way, she wanted to prove that she could handle herself, that she could stand up and face the problem head on.

So one night after a particularly cruel session of verbal abuse, she tucked Grim into bed, rushed to the rundown lounge, and cried. She was sure to be quiet, covering her mouth with her hands and suppressing her whimpers, but cried nonetheless, completely unaware of the ghosts that watched.

When they emerged from the shadows to comfort her, that was when Yuu spilled her troubles, pleading with them to keep it a secret.

“I’ll be fine! After all, I’ll just do what I always do; works like a charm!” Yuu waved him off, shrugging the memory away.

“...Yuu. It’s not healthy to hide these things. Maybe you should tell someone.” He suggested, brows creased.

“No! I can handle this on my own. Now, thank you for your time, but I should be getting to Grim and class. Bye!”

“Just be safe!” The ghost warned, fading back into the walls as Yuu hopped down the steps.

She didn’t respond as she caught Grim in the kitchen, shoveling tuna into his mouth as she laughed. The almost unbearable heat of hunger flooded her gut, but pressing a hand to her stomach and swallowing thickly, she pushed it away. Not now.

“Come on, Grim! I want to go meet Kalim and Jamil!” Yuu smiled, bending over as she placed her hands delicately on her knees.

“Fgna... go yourself, I’m busy.” Grim refused, licking out the rest of the can.

“U-Uh, alright! See you later!” Yuu stammered, feigning bliss as she headed out, crossing her arms defensively across her torso.

As she trudged down Main Street, she glanced around anxiously, heart skipping a beat as sweat beaded on her temples. It wasn’t often she was this nervous, only the times when she was utterly alone in the open. Her bullies never targetted her when she was with someone else, aware that she had a way of guarding herself with another person.

Yuu was climbing the steps to the school building when she noticed them; the four boys leaning against the doors. “Well, looky looky! Up bright and early for the day, birdie?” One of them crowed, making her cringe at the use of the distasteful nickname.

She could recognize them by the colors of their arm bands. Two were from Savanaclaw, one from Heartslabyul, and one from Pomefiore, each with their own way of ripping her self esteem to shreds. “Please leave me alone.” She clipped, keeping her gaze to the concrete.

“Bowing your head? Please, even Riddle could pull off a better act.” Heartslabyul sneered, kicking off the wall.

“No no, I think it suits her,” one of the Savanaclaw lackeys croned, “prey should know their place.”

“You’ll never be like us. You’re just a little girl, meant to serve and nothing more.” The other added.

“And with that face? She’d be lucky to find a man at all!” Pomefiore finished, drowning the staircase in wicked laughter. “Lose a few pounds and we’ll talk, sweetie!”

Yuu grabbed at the hem of her shirts, absorbing every comment, eyes unfocused and blurry. Bearing through the abuse yet again, she pushed through the boys now crowded around her, entering the building and shutting them out.

“It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true,” Yuu whispered to herself, covering her ears with her burnt hands as she followed the scent of breakfast to the cafeteria, pleasantly illuminated with the lantern light.

She hadn’t even taken a step inside when she heard the call, beckoning. “Yuu~! Over here!”

Yuu looked up, dropping her hands as she met the eternally smiling face of Kalim, arm above his head as he waved her over, Jamil pinching the bridge of his nose in embarrassment at the scene. Wiping her upset look off, she redrew a cheeky grin onto her glower, refilling her eyes with joy.

“Hey Kalim, Jamil! What’re you up to this morning?” She prompted, feeling a warmth build in her stomach.

“Eh, the usual. Breakfast.” Kalim responded, gesturing to his plate. “Jamil made it all, so it’s super healthy and delicious!”

“Ha, I’m sure it is!” Yuu nodded, revealing her pearly whites in a grin. It faltered as her gut grumbled, quietly enough to only be felt by her.

“Would you like some, Yuu? There’s plenty to go around.” Jamil offered, setting his silverware aside. “I’ll get a plate if you’d—“

“No thanks! I’m alright!” Yuu all too quickly deflected, digging her nails into her thighs.

“Hm? Are you certain? It wouldn’t be a bother.” Jamil pursued, Yuu feeling yet another hunger-caused groan arising in her torso.

“Yep—you know me! I’ll eat later, I’m not very hungry right now.” She lied.

“...If you insist.” Jamil conceded, resuming his meal.

The only thing ringing within Yuu’s ears was the hurtful smear on her body; she’d always believed she was beautiful, inside and out. It didn’t matter that she had her flaws, everyone did, she loved herself. Until someone took those flaws and paraded around like her feelings didn’t matter.

“So Yuu, what are you doing after school today?” Kalim asked, surfacing Yuu from her abyssal mind.

“Hm? Oh... nothing, I think. Why?” She played with her hands, and the feeling of aching soreness that occurred whenever she wiggled her fingers.

“Kalim and I have a freed schedule. I was curious as to know if you’d like to join us later, maybe for a board game or two?” Jamil smiled mischievously.

“Uh—yes! I’d love an excuse to see you two show off your rivalry!” Yuu joked, repressing her urge to eat.

“It’s settled then. We’ll come get you after class.”

“Yeah, and don’t be late! I’m so ready to kick Jamil’s ass in Mancala!”

“How many times must I defeat you in that game to drill it into your thick skull that I’m better than you?”

Kalim merely broke out into a fit of giggles, the joy rather infectious as Yuu joined in, even earning a small grin from Jamil at the absurd banter.

It was a blink before the bell rung, and as she parted from the oppositional duo, Yuu strongly regretted turning down the meal. Her stomach was knotted, groaning as it ate away at itself, sickeningly warm and unpleasant.

“Yuu! Wait for me! I’m not big enough to walk that fast!” Grim ushered behind her, panting as he ran on his short legs to catch up.

“Ah, Grim! Did you enjoy the rest of your food?”

“Obviously! There’s something just so enticing about fish, don’t you think?”

Yuu gave an awkward smile. “Uh, sure...” She lifted him into her arms, carrying him gingerly as to not disturb her burns, which were still hidden away from her animal-esque companion.

Taking a seat in her normal spot, Yuu felt the unmistakable sense of eyes trained on her, and spun around, looking for the source. When she found it, she recoiled, tilting her head downwards as if to hide her presence behind the curtain of hair that fell around her daintily beautiful face.

Two of her harassers sat a little ways behind her, glaring as they snickered, attentive to Yuu’s semi-vulnerable position. Still, with that fire breathing raccoon, they couldn’t do anything to her directly.

Yuu could barely focus on the class, with the combined forces of physical pain and mental distress working to keep her very preoccupied. Even reminders from Mr. Trein didn’t snap her from her internal stupor, though she knew her bullies were cruelly ridiculing her every time she received a clip from the teacher.

The worst part was, there was no escaping it. In every period, it seemed like the problem was chasing her. She couldn’t avoid those judgemental glowers, or the hushed lampooning that always managed to hit so close to home.

Like most other days, Yuu skipped lunch, her stomach now having gone quiet thanks to the use of her continued starvation. She sat with Grim, joking lightly as she watched him eat, wishing she could do the same without the guilty thought of ruining her body.

And, through hour after hour, the school day ended with a piercing ring, all students being dismissed with an armful of homework and an array of deadlines, Yuu included. “I’m beat! I just want to go home!” Grim cried, stretching. He started to walk away, but stopped when Yuu didn’t follow. “Coming?”

“Uh, n-not today! Kalim and Jamil are going to walk me over to their dorm.” Yuu explained, leaning against the doorframe. “You could come with us, if you wanted.”

“And sit around, watching you do God-knows-what? No thanks. I’m heading back to the safety of my kitchen.” He refused, uninterested.

“Oh wait! Then... could you take these with you?” She held out her homework, significantly less than the average student thanks to her lack of magical prowess, but still enough to take up a good chunk of her free time.

“Eh? Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“Because I want to be here when Kalim and Jamil show up! And besides, the Great Grim can handle such a little job, right?”

“Man, I hate when you use that as you excuse...” Grim sighed, taking the papers, “but of course I can! Now I’ll be off. See ya later, Yuu!” He hopped off, leaving Yuu in the dead silence.

The feeling from earlier that day returned, hands becoming clammy, heart rate accelerating, and limbs becoming stiff as Yuu stood. She despised being alone, especially because she knew the situation she was in, but her stubbornness turned away any thought of asking for help. She couldn’t do that, and let her friends believe she was too weak to face her own problems!

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing outside that classroom, but as soon as those brawny figures emerged from thr shadows, she wished for nothing more than to dart into it. Fear kept her paralyzed, even as they trapped her in a circle, back preser to the wall. “All alone? Do you never learn from your mistakes? How dense can you be?”

“Please, stop. Haven’t you done enough?!” Yuu fought, never once making eye contact.

“Done enough? You’re lucky we’ve been this kind to you!” One of them laughed, earning grunts from the rest.

“Kind? You think calling me names and criticizing me is kind?” She didn’t know where this confidence came from, but she felt her adrenaline spike because of it.

She was finally going to stand up for herself.

<————>

“Ahh! I hope Yuu’s okay! I sure got an earful from Mr. Crewel...” Kalim worried, rubbing the back of his head.

“Only because your such a dunce,” Jamil rolled his eyes, “I’m sure she’s fine. She’s been a little... off as of late, but we’ll sort that out when we’re back at the dorms.”

“I know, I know... ugh, I’m going to go on ahead! I need to apologize!” Kalim decided, jogging to meet up with Yuu.

He’d screwed up a potion in class, earning a huge mess to clean and a lecture from Mr. Crewel as a reward, Jamil staying behind to help despite Kalim’s protests against it.

Rounding the corner, Kalim froze midstep, darting behind the wall once again to listen in on the event he stumbled upon.

Yuu stood with her back to the wall, face hidden in her hands as a group of four surrounded her, laughing. “No more spunk? I thought you wanted to fight back, birdie!”

Yuu didn’t respond as she sobbed, a pitiful sound that cracked the dorm leader’s heart into pieces.

Kalim quickly assessed the situation, identifying the four boys. He was more than aware of the fact that if he charged straight in, a fight would occur, and he was outmatched. The best thing he could do was get help.

Spinning on his heel with guilt encumbering his steps, he silently darted away, racing back to Jamil. “J-Jamil! Yuu needs help!” Kalim panted, pointing to down the hall.

The usually stoic vice flinched, eyes widening as he stumbled back a step. “What do you mean?” He asked hurriedly.

“Yuu, she’s—just get down there and keep them busy! I’m going to get Headmaster Crowley!”

“Got it! Be quick!” Jamil nodded, rushing down the corridor, silently forming a plan. He didn’t know who “they” were, or how many he was facing, but he knew he had a not so secret weapon he could use if worse comes to worse.

Darting out from the end of the hall, Jamil was almost half convinced that he was going to see nothing, but was proven sorely wrong when he realized the position Yuu was in.

“Just leave me alone!” She screamed, trying to swat away the enclosing boys around her.

“Oh, the gusto! Think you can hit back now?” A Savanaclaw flunkey grabbed Yuu’s hand roughly, making her cry out.

Like a lightning bolt, Jamil lurched forward, moving with an unmatched agility as he grabbed the unsuspecting student’s shirt, yanking him away as he protectively held Yuu, her face buried in his chest as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” He growled lowly, eyes clouded with a dark rage.

<————>

Yuu wasn’t sure where it went wrong.

One minute she had the confidence to face her foes, the next, tears were streaming down her rosy cheeks as she hid behind her hands.

Just after the bully roughly seized her hand, her burns sending stabbing agony down her arms, she was suddenly pressed close to someone’s chest, their grip tight enough to show their anger.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” She recognized that voice, and the animosity it was thick with.

“So the birdie really did get help! Took long enough.”

“You’ll do well to refrain from speaking like that,” Jamil warned, a hand snaking into Yuu’s hair, “lest you wish for your own defeat.”

“Big talk. What’s someone so scrawny like you going to do anyways? Hiss at me, Viper?”

“Yuu, get behind me and cover your eyes,” Jamil whispered, releasing his grip on her. She did as she was told, though trembling slightly.

“You four worms will fall to your knees and bow to me, your master. Snake Whisper.” Yuu listened to the sultry tone of Jamil’s voice, cognizant of the sheer power his unique magic carried.

The sound of grunts and bodies hitting the floor echoed in the tall corridors, and Jamil turned around, practically crushing Yuu in a warm embrace. “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

“J-Jamil... I—“ Yuu silenced herself with a hiccup, wrapping her arms around Jamil’s bigger frame, who responded by running a hand through her hair gently, shushing her cries.

“Yuu, Jamil!” She looked over Jamil’s shoulder, seeing Kalim rushing towards her, Crowley following close behind. “Hey, are you okay?!” He demanded, placing a hand on her shoulder as she broke away from Jamil.

“N-Not really...” She was finally truthful, wiping away a new wave of tears.

“Excuse me. What happened here?” Crowley snapped, arms crossed as he glared through his mask.

“I believe I may know. Kalim, please take Yuu back to Scarabia, I’ll meet you there when I’m finished taking care of this.” Yuu cringed at the end, imgination running wild at the implications.

“Roger that. See you.” Kalim too seriously answered. He extended his hand to Yuu, who hesitantly shook her hear. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Kalim asked, red eyes brimmed with unnatural worry as they walked farther and farther from the four boys.

“My hands...” Yuu trailed off, revealing her burns for the first time that day. Kalim stopped, taking her wrists as opposed to her hands to avoid agitating the sensitive area. His skin felt smooth and cool, somewhat calming her heartbeat.

“Did they do this to you?”

“No, I did. It was an accident this morning.” Yuu explained quietly, keeping her head low.

“Hey,” Kalim said softly. He let go of her wrists, hooking a finger under her chin to tilt her head up. “You’re safe now. Come on, let’s get those burns healed.”

“Alright...”

<————>

Snuggling into the plush pillows at her back, Yuu sipped from her tea in the Scarabia lounge, lit by a few unscented candles, courtesy of Kalim.

It was a sweet, minty flavor that warmed her core, tears dried for the time being as she drank, wincing every so often at the enhanced sting in her palms.

“Can I see your hands, Yuu?” Kalim asked, sitting on his knees before her, a small container of something placed gingerly on the floor.

“Sure,” she nodded, setting her cup down as she exposed them to him. She sucked in a breath, they looked so much worse than that morning. Candy red and splotchy, it was inevitable that they’d crack and blister eventually.

Twisting open the cap, Yuu eyed the cloudy cream within, watching intently as Kalim dipped his fingers in, scooping out a little and smearing it on her palms, to which she smiled as the pain was relieved to some of extent. “Aloe vera. Jamil would always put it on my skin whenever I got burned.” Kalim revealed, grinning as he capped the container.

Yuu hummed, flexing her hands as Kalim watched, silently debating. “Yuu... how long have they been hurting you?” He said at last, fisting the floor.

“T-They... since before I met you.”

Kalim gasped. “What? Why didn’t you talk to me—or Jamil?! We would’ve helped you! We could’ve—“

“I didn’t want to seem weak!” Yuu shouted, silencing Kalim. “I wanted to show you I could handle myself... that I can be strong, like you guys! That I... that I...” She sniffled, using the back of her hands to block the tears that now threatened to fall.

“Oh, Yuu...” Kalim softened, scooting so close that their knees touched. He pried her arms away all too easily, threading his larger hands in the softness of her hair as his palms laid over her cheeks, wet with water. “I promise, I promise, I’d never see you like that. Never. It doesn’t matter if it’s daytime, noon, or night, always rely on me. I’m here, Jamil is here, and we care about you so, so much.”

At that, Yuu openly cried, grabbing onto his sleeves despite the fresh cream painted over her flesh. Kalim pressed his forehead to hers, using his thumbs to wipe away the glistening beads, hushing her sobs tenderly.

Kalim’s ears perked up as he heard approaching footsteps, looking over his shoulders to see Jamil, knuckles reddened as his glare morphed into a look of pity. Extending an arm, Kalim invited him over silently, to which he accepted.

Yuu’s eyes opened as she sensed someone kneel beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders like before. “They told me everything. I gave them what they deserved, and rest assured, each of thise imbeciles will be facing due punishment.” Jamil said, bruised knuckles a testimony.

“What if... What if they were right?” Yuu asked, voice cracking terribly.

“What?” The two asked in unison.

“All those things they called me... what if they were right? I really am just an incompetent waste, I should just go back to where I came from!” She wailed, Kalim and Jamil sharing beyond surprised gapes.

Kalim hesitated, opening and closing his mouth, unable to form coherent words. So Jamil did it for him. “Yuu, Yuu no. No, I can’t explain how wrong you are. Do you know how much you are loved in this school?” He asked, barely whispering.

“I... am?”

“Yes, of course you are! I’d miss you so much, everyone would!” Kalim admitted, looking to Jamil.

“But why? What do you see in... me?” Yuu continued doubtfully.

“Hm, well how about this for starters,” Jamil looked to Kalim, both of them sharing the same idea, “maybe because you’re funny, and can make me smile even when I’m frustrated.”

“Or because you’re kind, and always willing to lend a hand to someone that needs help,” Kalim followed, sliding a hand into Yuu’s.

“You’re gorgeous, like the sun, radiant and breathtaking.” Jamil ran a hand through a stray lock of hair, tucking it behind her ear.

“And you’re happy, just a bundle of laughter and smiles! You go along with all my crazy ideas, and I have so much fun with you!” Kalim finished, booping Yuu’s nose and making her giggle.

“You’re perfect, Yuu. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says.” Jamil smiled so genuinely, eyes squeezing shut.

“You’re a perfect desert flower, impeccable and extraordinary.”

Yuu covered her mouth as a new kind of tear streamed down her face, ones that spoke her gratitude rather than her sorrow. She laughed, twinkly and unfiltered, throwing her arms around Jamil and Kalim, pulling them into a bone crushing hug.

She didn’t say anything, just locked them in her embrace as she laughed and laughed, mixing with the sounds of Kalim and Jamil’s.

Swathed in the mingling warmth of her two best friends, Yuu’s chest was feather light for the first time in a long while, every insult and wound forgotten thanks to the sincerity poured into the boys’ speech.

She believed things could get better. She had faith, and now had her friends to anchor that faith.

Yuu beamed, as beautiful as a desert flower.

Oh boy, I may have gone a little overboard with this.

This was a wonderful prompt, I had so much fun with it! Thanks to @sanata101 for my first request! I hope you enjoyed!!

Stay lovely!

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[idkhyuck]

Fireflies- NCT DREAM Fanfic pt1 

I couldn’t shake the happy, freeing feeling this song gave me. So here’s the result of that

Y/N Goes on a camping trip with her best friends to celebrate their last year as teenagers

DREAM OT6 !BestfriendREADER with hints of romances.No warnings other than swearing as it’s really fluffy. A/N I don’t really know the Dream Timeline too well yet so in this they’re idols and it includes things from their careers but I've kind of created my own timeline. I Kind of want to continue this if anyone likes it. Feedback is appreciated. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure this is all we’ll need?” I asked looking at Jaemin and Jeno loading up our cart with a few sleeping bags. They both turned to me and nodded

“My dad’s got some stuff in the garage I can use. We can spend more money on food this way.” Jaemin said confidently as he pushed the cart down the aisle “maybe we should grab this just in case.” he said reaching for a tarp. I sighed knowing we’d end up back in this aisle before we left the store. Jeno nodded and followed behind him grabbing a few packs of the rope. and followed him, I rolled my eyes and grabbed the tent pegs they both walked passed. I’m so excited they have the weekend off. We’re going camping to celebrate our last summer being teenagers. Chenle and Jisung still had a some time left but it wouldn’t be the same without them with us so we’re bringing them along. We continued our shopping trip. I spent most of my teenage years with these boys. I stuck with them all through their trainee days after meeting in middle school, They’re my best friends and will forever have my support.

“I need swim shorts!.” Jeno said freezing in place as he turned to look for a sign to tell him where to go, he was such a lost puppy at times. I grabbed him and pointed him in the right direction. We made our way to the men’s wear section. I felt the stares of the girls that passed as they watched me walk with them. I wondered if they knew who they were or if they were just amazed at the beauty of the two of them like I am continually. I’ll probably never end up dating any of them but that didn’t stop my heart from noticing how handsome they’ve gotten over the years. I’ve literally had a legit crush on all of them at least once in the past 7 years, except Jisung he’s my baby and he hates it. the worst was Haechan at 17. They all knew except Haechan and it drove me nuts. You know when you have a crush for so long and it just grows into a content love. That’s what I have with each of them. They’ve seen me at my worst, and vice versa. We grew up together basically and at the end of this year We’d be adults. Man times flies when you’re having fun. “My mom said yes to taking her van, she’ll be here with it later.” Chenle said as he walked into the practice room throwing his bag at me in the corner.

“hey!” I yelled as the bag landed a little too close to me with a thud,

“Oh. Hi.” he said indifferently as he started stretching. Haechan sat up laughing from across the room.

“Great to see you too.” I added sourly as I pulled his bag over and laid on it. We were supposed to leave for our camping trip after practice which is why I’m here so god damn early. Renjun walked in he looked so incredibly tired.

“Renjunie. did you even sleep?” I asked him as he sat on the floor beside me

“Kind of.” he said sheepishly meaning he was up all night playing games. I sighed as he changed his shoes beside me.

“You can sleep in the van on the way out.” I said as the staff came in to the room. They were filming a dance practice today. That would be fun to watch. I had all of my things for the weekend in a backpack. Jaemin and Jisung hauled all of our camping gear in here last night. The boys went on practicing hard for a little bit. the hours flew by fast as I watched them perfect the choreo enough to film it. They started filming takes for the video. After the first take chenle came over

“Call my mom please. She can bring the van now.” he said taking a sip of water before running back into formation. I went out into the hall to make my phone call. Chenle’s mom as already on her way with the van when I reached her. I thought I’d take this time to haul our stuff to the doors so it would be easy to load up. I started with the tent, I made a few trips back and forth. The guys at varying degree of choreography each time not even noticing me coming or going. I saw one of the execs in the lobby as I carried Mine and Jisung’s bag to my growing pile.

“Those boys treating you good?” he asked me. I nodded politely bowing. “Have fun this weekend.”

“Thank you.” I said. It was still so scary knowing that everyone here knew me. I’d pass other idols in the halls and they’d greet me like any other. Most people would die to be in my position and I thought about that often. Like they’re just 6 boys that became my friends. Mark and the other NCT boys too. Mark was gone on a work trip or else he’d be here camping with us. I missed him a lot, He’s always so busy, He’s such a hard worker. We barely saw any other the other boys. We were so busy with graduation and other things. The older boys were busy with tour prep and comeback scheduling.

“Wow!” Jisung said as he saw all the stuff loaded into the van. His hair freshly showered and extra soft looking. The smell of their shampoo radiating off of them as we all loaded into van.

“FOUR DAYS OFF!” Chenle yelled as he closed the door behind him and sat beside me. All the other boys started cheering. Jaemin started the van and we pulled out as Haechan sat in the passenger seat fixing the radio with the playlist he made just for this weekend.

“We have enough food?” Renjun asked as he settled in with the cooler between him and Jisung in the back seat. I was stuck in the middle between Chenle and Jeno.

‘Yeah. Me and my mom packed it all last night.” I said “There’s all kinds of good things in there.” I added. “As long as we have a fire. We’re set.” I said

“okay.” Renjun quietly said from behind me I didn’t even have to see I could already tell he was drifting off to sleep. I looked as we passed all familiar places in Seoul. Soon enough we’d be entering the country side. It was early afternoon. The sun high and shining brightly. I couldn’t wait to be at our campsite. I’m so glad that we get to be completely off the grid, no body guards, no staff, no cameras. Although I planned on taking tons of pictures and videos of our time together. The windows being open brought in just the right amount of breeze so we weren’t hot. Jeno was playing on his phone or responding to emails, he was always working. Chenle was listening to the music playing with his eyes closed. Haechan was texting on his phone. And Jaemin quietly sung along with the radio. Jisung and Renjun were passed out in the backseat, i could hear them both snoring softly. This was already so relaxing, I felt myself getting sleepy. I yawned and laid my head back. I felt jeno’s arm wrap around me “lean on me. you’ll be sore.” He said quietly

Jeno was my first crush out of all the boys I’ve ever known. He was tallest in our grade and strong and so so handsome. I couldn’t help but feel things for him. I hated myself for it. We were really good friends, and I wasn’t the only girl that had a crush on him. I WAS the only girl that got to see the real him. the soft boy who loved games and singing and dancing and sports. He was so passionate about his work, he worked so hard to get where he is. He’s kind of goofy despite being called NoJam and I loved that side of him. He looked so tough and hot but he was so soft and that’s what got me. This was pre-debut. I struggled to hide my feelings around him because I didn’t want him or anything between us to change. Or worse they’d think I only liked him because he was going to debut. I spent a whole year crushing on him and then I saw him one night late at the studio it was just us because he was my ride home. He was very frustrated with himself, There was new choreo he couldn’t get and and he’d been working for hours and we were supposed to go hang out at the river before we had to be home but we were already late. He misstepped and fell to the floor in frustration, I ran over and saw him slump over in defeat. He was so exhausted, they’d been working non stop since their debut a few months prior. I sat on the floor beside him.

“Hey. its okay.” i said trying to keep things bright. it was when I saw the tears fall to the floor as he refused to look up at me that I knew he wasn’t okay. “Hey no, Jeno.” I said reaching out to touch his arm. “You’ll get it. You have time.” I said trying my best to reassure him. “Lets go home. You’ve worked hard.” I said as I watched the tears mix with sweat and fall off the tip of his nose. “Don’t be to hard on yourself.” I said “You’ve been working so hard, You’ve done so good. So good!” I said ‘I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as you.” I added “You should be proud of yourself and celebrating. You guys are the best rookie group out there right now. It’ll be okay.” I said reaching down to wipe his face. His eyes finally met mine and I saw how upset he really was. I immediately wrapped my arms around him and held him close, a few tears escaping me “Jeno.” I said my voice cracking “I mean it. You’re doing amazing. You don’t need to be perfect.” I said trying to keep my voice even. He was breathing hard against my shoulder “We’ll be okay.” I said “You’ve got this.” I added as I rubbed his back. He finally pulled away and started wiping his face.

“I’m sorry.” he said “I didn’t mean too here.” he said wiping at his nose gesturing around with his hand.

“No. It’s fine” I said smiling at him “It’s why I’m here.” I said “We’re best friends you can always tell me anything. I’ll always be here.” I said and in the moment I realized I meant it, I couldn’t imagine my life without Jeno in it. I woke up to Chenle pulling me out of the van, catching me as I fell out only to let me go and go running “WE’RE HERE!” He said as he ran to the other side of the campsite. it took me a second to adjust my eye sight to how bright it was. I turned and ran into Haechan, he just laughed as he slid me over to the side to start unloading. I yawned and made my way over to the back where the rest of the boys were unloading bit by bit

“Tent first.” Renjun said as he pour the contents out of our tent bag. I went over to help him. We bought the biggest tent we could find. It was an 8 person tent. Renjun and I slid the poles in. as Jisung and Jaemin set up the rest of our campsite with our chairs and our coolers and bags. I smiled at Rejun as our poles met in the middle Renjun was my second crush, it had only lasted about three months. He was helping me learn Mandarin and I longed for the time we spent together at the building when he was on breaks. It was just the two of us and I really got to know him then. I lived for the late night phone calls we shared. They’d start off as study calls and then it’d turn into him getting distracted and he’d tell me about aliens and ghosts and his theories and whatever else he was reading at the time, he was so incredibly real and honest. He was so confident in the way he carried himself even though, He was tiny, I loved his tiny features. He was almost delicate but still such a strong, handsome boy I was sure I was in love with.Then he admitted his crush on a girl in our class and my feelings for him died instantly. We all let out a sighs of relief as we settled into ours chairs, Haechan and Chenle spent the past hour setting up our fire pit with rocks and sticks and grass and leaves. We had our food and extra supplies set up in a make shift lean to with the tarps we bought. Jaemin’s dad had a bunch of chairs and sleeping bags and a cool fire starting kit. The sun was a a low place in the sky right now. it wasn’t quite twilight but everything was getting glowy. I took out my phone.

“Smile!” i yelled as I started taking pictures of them. I wanted to remember these moments forever. They all laughed pretending to hide their faces. haechan hid behind his hoodie. I stopped to focus on him. He was reaching for my phone blindly before he got up and started chasing me. We ran around the camp screaming and laughing as i took pictures of them as best as I could while running . it wasn’t long before chenle and jisung joined in trying to intercept me. It was chenle that grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. I was giggling hysterically by now. I felt his chest heaving against my back as my own breath and heartbeat drummed in my ears. He picked me up and carried me over to the chairs, he threw me in to my chair laughing.

“Better sell those to the fansites, you’ll be rich.” he said with a laugh. I stuck my tongue out at him as I snuck one more of him

“Just when you think you escaped the cameras.” Jaemin said with a wink as he drug the cooler over.

Jaemin was the my third crush. I developed it while he was on time off. He spent as lot of time at my house because being at the dorms or at his house depressed him. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do and it was eating away at him. We’d spend hours watching movies, He’d leave for appointments only to come back for a few more hours. Usually bringing food. He trusted me with all his worries, We’d talk for hours about what his future looked like with the band and we’d cry and then we’d laugh at ourselves and eat some food. We watched and cried together as NCT dream got their first win. I honestly thought he might have liked me too. the rest of the boys would tease him about being with me all the time. We didn’t care we were having fun.it wasn’t until I went to the SM Christmas party with the boys and people started asking us if we were dating then he’d deny it. it kind of hurt me but I was just grateful to have that connection with him. to this day he’s one of my BEST friends in the world. There’s honestly no one I trust more than Jaemin, I’ll always go to him first with anything. “Of course you know how to start a fire.” I said as Chenle was hard at work starting our fire. He just turned and gave me his signature Chenle smile. I hoped to god I wasn’t blushing I was still getting over that crush on him It was the first day back at school from winter break. I hadn’t seen my friends much over the holidays so I was scanning the room for them. Specifically Renjun and Chenle, They went back to china for almost a whole month. The last time I saw either of them was at the SM christmas party. Chenle and I shared three dances that night. Jeno and I two and the rest I had to beg to dance with me at least once. I even danced with Mark and Jungwoo. I was having the time of my life. Chenle and I we’re just about to go out to the dance floor when the song changed to a slower one. I froze with his hand in mine, He just shrugged his shoulders and continued dragging me out to the dance floor. Once we got there he carefully placed his hands on my waist. it was a foreign feeling. this was my first slow dance with a boy but I’d never admit it to anyone except maybe Jaemin. I thought to myself as I enjoyed the feeling of being whisked around the dance floor. The music from some drama I never finished blasting through the speakers. I was looking around at other people dancing some of the couples I’d begun to recognize in the media were here. dancing to this song and here I am holding on to Chenle. I went to look up at him and realized I had look a bit further up.

“When did you get so tall?” I asked looking at him in the eyes as I now began to realize just how high up my arms were on his shoulders.

“I can’t be short forever.” He said pushing me out for a spin. I laughed as he pulled me into him. Why was he so good at slow dancing. Was there anything he can’t do. The song was over and he dragged me back to the table. The next day he left for china and we barely got to talk because he was busy with family. I couldn’t tell if I was developing feelings for him, it was like I was seeing him in a new light after the party and I dwelled on it the whole winter break. I was hoping he’d be here early like he usually was so we could hang out. I texted him to no avail. I felt a hand tap me scaring me as i waited in the hall

“What are you doing?” I jumped and screamed at the sound of his voice, only to turn and see he had died his hair light and that he was at least another two centimeters taller causing me to scream again causing him to jump back and lift his hands up “GOD what the hell is wrong with you?” he said “I don’t look that scary.” he added as he clutched his chest. The adrenaline running through my veins at the scare, and the sight of him caused my heart to race and i started laughing uncontrollably.  Jeno and Jaemin came over to see the commotion.

“What’d you do?” Jaemin asked Chenle as he stood there confused out of his mind

“No I’m fine.” i said “Not you.” I managed to muster between giggles “You scared me.” I said gaining composure breathless I looked up to see all three boys staring at me confused out out of their minds. I looked at Chenle and immediately felt my cheeks get hot again. I looked away before they could notice. “I was looking for you guys. I never gave you these.” I said digging out bracelets I made for them as apart of their Christmas gifts. They were green with all our initials on it. Jeno rolled his eyes as I tied it on him. Jaemin excitedly accepted his and when I got to chenle I almost dropped the bracelet as he bumped me while pulling up his sleeve. good lord I’m already awkward around him I thought to myself as i\I fumbled to tie it around his wrist. The bell rang and I bowed to them and ran off to my class before I made things worse. The last thing on my mind was the lesson we were reviewing that day from last unit.

That day at lunch I met with the rest of the guys and gave them their bracelets. Jisung and I qucikly ran to the convenience store to get food for the rest of us. When we got back we spent  the rest of our lunch hour discussing what we did over break. Renjun and Chenle distributing all the Chinese candy they brought back for us. We had fun like normal, I couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at Chenle. Jesus christ I thought I was done with this after Haechan. Speaking of Haechan he was no where to be seen because of his injury. and I missed him. I’d gone to see him at his place so many times over the break. I sent him an “I miss you” text. only to have him reply with a ugly seflie of him in bed. “If only i could be so lucky to lay in bed all day.” I replied

“Come join me then.” he replied. He didn’t mean it, he never did. That didn’t stop me from smiling like an idiot.

“Y/N! come on!! we’re gonna be late. Flirt with Haechan later!” Chenle was yelling at me from across the lunch room. I yelled at him and chased after him. He was running through the hall, I was so close to catching him when he suddenly stopped causing me to run straight into him. He caught me as I fell and placed me straight up while bowing to the teacher that passed and gave us a dirty look. I scrambled to bow quickly at her. I turned to Chenle

“You brat!” I whispered loudly while hitting his chest.

“How about I make it up to you?” He asked quietly looking around leaning in. My heart nearly jumped out of my throat. before I could even say anything he had his hand around mine and placing something in my hand closing it, while pretending to make sure no one was looking “i knew how much you loved these last time so I brought some extra for you.” He winked at me and then left. “Don’t tell the guys.” He mouthed to me as he walked into his classroom. I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath until the room started spinning. I looked down at my hand and saw a whole bag of the jelly candy i loved. I blushed as I opened one and ate it and made my way into my class. Jeno seated at his seat behind me

“You still have some?”he asked he watched me eat the candy.

“Oh. O didn’t eat mine at lunch.” i said quietly putting them in my bag and opening my books. I played with the candy wrapper for the rest of the afternoon with that sickening feeling you get when you know you’re gonna like someone. shit I didn’t want to have a crush on Chenle yet here i am already head over heels. it’ll pass it always does. I said to myself. And I continued to say that over the next six months. I said that as Jaemin and I were on the phone one night and he confronted me about it about a month and a half ago.

“So Chenle?”

“what about Chenle?” I asked him

“Why are you drooling all over him all of a sudden?” he asked

“I’m not!” i said trying to sound offended

“y/n….” he said flatly

“I KNOW! OKAY I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. HE LIKE GOT TALLER AND HE BROUGHT ME CANDY, AND HE BUYS ME LUNCH. AND HE’S GETTING SO GOOD AT DANCING AND LIKE DUDE. he’s such an amazing singer.” i said taking a deep breath “like it’s like one second he’s an annoying little brother then he’s swaying me around the floor at the Christmas party and he’s not so annoying anymore.” I said

“christmas? That’s how long this has been going on?” he asked shock in his voice

“I know.” i sighed “It’s fine. you know how I am. So shallow. It’ll pass.” I said in a light tone, but it really wasn’t anywhere near passing. I tried so hard since then to push the feelings away and it was working.

“First Haechan now Chenle. Are the rest of us not good enough.” he joked.

“Shut up.” I said. As I got over my crushes on them I made sure to make it seem like I had a crush on another guy or an idol or something so it didn’t seem like I wasn’t crushing on someone. Haechan was the first one out of them that the found out about and intended to keep it that way. “Hey uh don’t tell anyone okay?” I asked him serious

“”I won’t.” Se said I could hear the sincere smile in his voice. He then proceeded spending the next month telling me to tell chenle despite me telling him I was getting over him and I really felt like I was getting over him. I hoped this camping trip wouldn’t help that.

The campfire glowing as the sun set around us. It as absolutely perfect.

“is this what fireflies are like?” Jisung asked as he watched the embers of the flames rise and float off into the night.

“i imagine so.” Jeno said as he turned his stick over. He was currently burning his hot dogs but refused to listen when we told him to take them out. Jisung went over to the cooler and brought back marshmallows. He took a pile and tossed the bag to Jaemin. who took some, this continued until the bag got to me. I said

“Wait is this the first time for everyone?” I asked and looked around as everyone nodded “Let’s do a marshmallow toast!” I said excited grabbing my stick to put them on. I stood up ignoring their protests and watched excitedly as they all stood up reluctantly. “To being twenty.” I said sticking my marshmallow high above the fire

“to graduating.” Jeno said “to being friends.” Jaemin said earning a shove from Haechan and Jisung on either side of him. “To being friends forever.” I added “To being us!” Renjun said finally before shoving his marshmallow in the centre we all did that and roasted our marshmallows. I looked around the fire at each of them all unique in their own ways, all meaning different things to me, it made me sad, We’ll be adults next year. What if things change. I’ll be off in college all by myself while they’re enrolled online. Lord knows what the future holds for them career wise. I don’t even want to know how Jisung and Chenle feel. There’s talks of Renjun joining WayV in china. The other boys don’t know their future yet, Everything changes and all of this feels so final. I looked around at them laughing and having fun and living in the moment. The way Jaemin and Jeno fought as their marshmallows stuck together. Chenle and haechan fighting trying to knock each others marshmallows into the fire. Renjun sitting in the back eating his burnt marshmallow laughing and Jisung trying his best to roast more than one at once. They were still the same boys I met back in middle school but not at the same time. I sat back in my chair and tried my best not to cry. Haechan noticed my quietness and came over to sit beside me. I loved the way his skin glowed, I hated when he wore makeup on stage. He was so absolutely stunning and it hurt me. I had a crush on Haechan for 4 months now. It was getting worse with each day. NCT 127 had just released a new album and this all started as I watched Haechan practice his parts in studio. His voice was so angelic I literally sat there blushing the whole time he was singing. He didn’t notice, he never did. I bought that album, first album I bought myself only so I could listen to him singing on it. His parts had such an effect on me and I hated it. I thought I was doing good at hiding my crush on him. I wasn’t awkward around him. We teased non stop like always, only it was driving me nuts, and had no effect on him. We’re always cuddling or holding hands because that’s haechan, but at least it was something right. I was sitting outside during lunch on the front steps listening to my CD. 127 was doing promo so Haechan was away from school for awhile and I missed him. it was the first time he was really away from us and I was going through it. Jisung was the first to find out.

“Who are you listening to like this?” he asked pulling my headphones out as he sat down beside me with his face in his hands and batting his eyes  

“I’m not like that.” i said shoving him

“Like what?” Jaemin said sitting on the other side of me.

“She’s in love with someone.” He said reaching for my old CD player I got from my mom. as I pulled away from him Renjun came from behind and grabbed it.

“Give it back.” i whined. looking up at him to no avail he opened it

“Oh my god 127 hyungs!” he said with a gasp. all the boys looked at me “It is johnny?” Jisung asked “i bet its johnny.”

“No it’s Taeyong.” Rejun said said

“Is it Jungwoo? He’s your type” Jeno asked as he sat beside Jisung. they continued this game as I denied all of them.

“Ten hyung!” Jisung said beside me

“NOOO” i said annoyed with them

“Then who? Renjun asked confused “the only one we didn’t name was…” they suddenly all yelled “HAECHANNIE!” “Arghhh! ” I said beyond annoyed with them  

“Oh my god it is.” Jisung said hanging his head with disbelief. Renjun tsked as he handed me back my CD player. I sighed as Jaemin looked at me trying to get an answer.

“What’d I miss?” chenle asked as he approached us out of breath. We all looked up at him. then they all started talking all at once telling various versions of what just happened. Chenle choked on his drink

“Haechan?!” he asked “Why?!” he was the first person to ask anything. “I don’t know.” I said still annoyed with them. “Ah, you should have seen her sitting there.” Jisung said as I shot him a dirty look. “Are you going to tell him?” Jaemin asked a concerned look on his face and I could tell why, he was just as scared as I was of things changing

“Noooo. God no. He can never know.” I said panicking “Why?” renjun asked “Because it’ll make things weird and like it’s just a stupid crush anyway. I’ll get over it.” i said matter of factly. I didn’t get over it for a whole year… He was just so handsome and he seemed so more mature compared to the rest of the boys. He wasn’t and still isn’t but like The fact that he was out in the world touring and working on music and like he just seemed like he was on a different level then the rest of us here. Like he was still the same old haechannie who liked to tease me but like I just saw him differently and he was so incredibly untouchable it hurt. Like I think it’s his passion that drew me in. He practiced so hard, He worked on his singing so hard. Watching him at a piano was a treat. I still love him and would date him in the drop of a hat to be honest but like I know he doesn’t see me that way, I’m still the same ol me to him and I don’t think that will ever changed and that’s how I eventually got over him enough to be here normally. The boys didn’t help either. They’d constantly tease me about it behind his back I’m honestly surprised he never found out. “What’s wrong Y/N?” Haechan asked sitting down beside me

“I’m just thinking.” i said hoping to keep my voice even.

“About?” Jaemin asked from across the fire.

“Life.” i said my voice sounding smaller than I wanted it to. I now had all their attention. “Ah shit. Here we go.” i said looking down “We’re almost adults. 20 years old in 6 months. doesn’t that scare you?” I asked “not just at work but here. and in real life too. I get anxiety thinking about what will happen to you guys at work honestly. We barely see mark.” I said “And like it’s just all gonna change.” I said my voice finally cracking I looked down as my eyes welled up “I’m so grateful to know you guys as stupid as you are.” I said trying to laugh. “We’re so lucky to have met how we did because I honestly can’t imagine my life with out you guys and idk if you feel that same way or I’m just some dumb girl but like you’re all gonna be there when I get married and I hope when I have kids and like I just want to be friends forever. and I don’t want to lose you guys.” I turned to Renjun “I don’t want to lose you.” he knew what I meant and I was full on crying at this point “Not yet anyway.” I sighed in my seat and I looked up at all of them. They were all so quiet and somber I thought I had ruined the trip  then Haechan spoke up

“We’ll always be friends no matter what.” he said and all the others nodded. He said it with such a finality that he didn’t need to say anything else. It was when I looked around and saw each of them looking at me with concern and worry that I knew. They really did care for me.

“lets have some more marshmallows.” i laughed “I’m sorry.” i said wiping my nose with my hoodie sleeve

“No. it’s understandable.” Jeno said “We’ve been so busy. life catches up with you.”

“let’s play truth or dare!” Jisung said hating all the sad stuff. i smiled a knowing smile at him and nodded

“Yeah!” i said. We all stood up again and played rock paper scissors to decide who would go first. Jisung would go first and we’d go around the circle asking to our left. Renjun chose truth so Jisung asked him

“what’s one thing you can’t live without?”

“easy. Headphones.” Renjun replied quickly “truth or dare?” he asked Jaemin who said Dare “I dare you to do karaoke for us. one song WE PICK.” He said motioning for Haechan to come over with his phone and speaker.

“Argh not this one!” Jaemin said as the most popular song in korea rn started playing “I’ve heard it a thousand times.”

“sing! or we’ll throw you in the lake!” Jeno said as the song started into the melody we’d all heard at least 1000 times. Jaemin started singing his voice cracking here and there because it wasn’t in his key. The guys laughing at him as he turned various shades of pink. it was a sexy song and he hated it

“choreo! come on!” rejun said as the chorus started soon enough they were all up dancing various stages of the song.

“you guys are a mess.” i said in between laughing. the song came to an end and they all sat down. “Thanks for the show.” i laughed. they all threw marshmallows at me. “okay next.”

“Jeno! truth or Dare?” Jaemin yelled as he opened his water.

“truth.” Jeno said

“Favourite idol you’ve met.” Jaemin asked

“EXO hyungs.” Jeno said easily

“boring.” chenle asked “I pick truth.” He said taking a bite of a hotdog he had cooked himself

“Favorite place we’ve been so far.” he asked stiffling a yawn

“Brazil.” he said “truth or dare?” he said turning to me.

“truth.” i said pondering how bad it could be they were doing easy questions i should be safe

“first crush.” Chenle said i wasn’t safe.

“um. like first first crush? or first real crush?” I asked

“first real crush.” he said “we all know about you’re crush on Goku.” he said rolling his eyes

“hmmm.” i said pretending to think while looking across the fire at Jeno .”No names BUT we were 15.” I said looking away from Jeno as our eyes met i could tell he knew immediately. “First time I’d ever noticed a boy in this way that was my age. wanna guess?” I said looking around at the boys as they all have puzzled looked on their faces.

“We met already?” Renjun asked

“yup, you guys were in training. He was the only boy in our grade that was this tall and handsome.” i said looking down as I could practically all hear them whip their heads towards Jeno.”it was short lived but this boy will forever remain as the boy I liked first.

“Is he still as handsome?” Jeno asked looking at me from across the fire with a small smile, i could feel the rest of the boys eyes peering into me.

“Other girls seem to think so.” i said smiling back at him. Haechan laughed beside me

“AWWW! LITTLE Y/N’s FIRST CRUSH IS JENO!” He said roaring with laughter, which caused all the other boys to start laughing.

“WHAT?! i wasn’t the only one to crush on him that year!” i said defending myself “not my fault the rest of you refused to go through puberty.” i said they all took that so well. I was kind of shocked

“Hey! my voice was dropping already.” Jisung said defensively

“it’s still dropping!” I said to him “girls go crazy for it online.” i said “if they only knew what a baby you are.” i said laughing. He shot me a dirty look. “Okay if you are all done.” i said turning to Haechan

“Dare.” he said looking me in the eye.

“I dare you to finish that bottle of juice in 30 seconds.” i said pointing to the full bottle beside him

“Easy.” he said picking it up “timer!” he said

“Go!” Jisung said. We all watched as he chugged the juice quickly “he’s done that before.” Jisung said as he watched. He finished the bottle with 7 seconds left and wiped his lips while looking at me

“Told you.” he said. I sat there pouting. The game went on for two hours. We had tons of fun. Chenle made me do their choreo in front of everyone while they filmed it. I wanted to die. We all sat around the campfire just talking about the past school year and how much fun we had. Jeno yawned first.

“we should go to bed.” i said stretching my legs out. “How are we all sleeping?” I  asked standing up a shiver went down my spine as the wind brushed my hair across my neck. “it’s getting chilly.” I said I went over to my bag and dug out my comfy clothes. sweats and a long t-shirt.”I’m changing in the tent!” I said running into our tent. I could hear then all fumbling around outside the tent, yelling at each other, beating each other up from the sounds of things.

“y/n hurry upppp.” Haechan whined from just outside the tent pulling at the zipper.

“Stop it! or you’re all sleeping outside.” i said as I slipped into my sweats. I changed from my real bra to my sports bra and slipped my shirt over. I sat down and washed up my face.

“What are you doing??” Jisung asked

“Washing up.” I said as I went over my forehead a few times.

“Washing up on a camping trip.” Jeno said flatly.

“Don’t come for me when you’re all breaking out when we get back.” I said as I packed up my things “Come in.” I said shoving my bag in the corner. The zipper  opened they’re all came piling in carrying sleeping bags and pillows and blankets. They were all kind of hunched over and bumping into each other shoving and i’m backed against the back wall of the tent “GUYS! wait!” everyone back out!” they all practically fell out of the tent I followed suit and grabbed my sleeping bag and pillow from the pile they abandoned it in. I looked at them all varying stages of bickering with each other.

“Oldest to youngest.” Renjun said.

“Fine.” Jaemin said knowing he had a chance at a good spot being fourth, the rest of us all groaned and nodded in agreement. My birthday was in November.so I was third last. This was my first time sleeping over with all of them. over the years i’d spend the night at one of their houses or one of them mine but never all of us at once. I sometimes wonder what other stuff I missed out on having no girlfriends I grabbed my headphones and my blanket. I was waiting. Renjun went into the tent first and set up his bed along the back wall.

“HEY! wait!” I  said as Jeno started walking into the tent! “There’s enough room for me to sleep along that back wall too. Renjun and I Horizontal and the rest of you guys spread out vertical along us.” I said looking at all of them hopeful “look at you guys if any of you try and fit there it’ll never work.” I said gesturing at how tall they were. “Renjun is JUST short enough that I’ll fit and it’ll create more room!”

“wow! she’s a genius!” Jaemin said as he looked at the room they’d all have. they all nodded and i made my way into the tent. I rolled out my sleeping bag and sat on it. the rest started coming in and rolling out their things. Jaemin and Chenle slept on myside. Jeno and Haechan on Renjun’s side and Jisung planted himself straight in the middle. “I can’t believe it.” Jaemin said laying down starfishing on his sleeping bag “so much room.”

“We don’t get to cuddle.” I said pretending to sound sad.

“What are you talking about. i’m gonna cuddle Jeno all night.” i heard Haechan say from the other side of the tent.

“YOU BETTER NOT!” Jeno said. and then they started fighting. At least I think, my eyes were closed i was so comfy.it was warm in the tent, it was really getting cold outside. “First to sleep has to build the fire and cook in the morning.” Renjun announced as he sat up and took out a deck of cards. We started our uno Marathon. It was already kind of late. The first few rounds were fun and exciting, then I started losing and getting tired.

“Look! y/n’s getting sleepy.” Jeno teased as I dozed off.

“I’m not.” I whined opening my eyes.

“I can go all night.” Haechan said excitedly

“We know!” we all said in varying stages of annoyance. Haechan was really a work of science, the boy barely slept and was still so energetic.

“I’ll have that food ready when you guys get up.” I said grumpily as I slid back into my corner of the tent. I faced towards the window so the glow of the lantern we had on wasn’t as bright. I put on my headphones and fell asleep listening to my favourite songs. I woke the next morning to see the sunlight coming through the crack in the window cover. I blindly rolled over and let my eyes adjust to the glow. I saw Jaemin sleeping right in front of me, at least I think it was jaemin, his head was covered. I looked and saw jisung beside him rolled up like a burrito and down to see chenle all spread out half off his sleeping bag. I heard Renjun lightly snoring above me. I couldn’t see where jeno and Haechan ended up. I reached around for my phone it was around 10. Perfect time to get up on a day off I thought. I tried my best to quietly get up, I was actually so warm in that tent. The sun shining warmed everything up. I quietly made my way out of the tent trying really hard not to step on anyone. I saw a glimpse of Jeno and Haechan in the back corner of the tent. Haechan clinging onto jeno for dear life. I couldn’t help the giggle the escaped. Jeno would die if he knew. I went and dug a bottle of water out of the cooler, I chugged half of it and started digging for our food. I took out the eggs, and instant rice we bought. I grabbed the kettle and filled it with some of our water. I walked back over to the fire and wondered how I would start it. I saw chenle doing it last night but did he make the sticks a certain way, did he use a match? why did he need that paper? I sat down on a chair trying to think back to how he did it. I heard rustling in the tent then as if on cue Chenle popped his head out and sleepily made his way over to our bathroom bushes. I waited for him to come back 

“You going back to bed?” I asked him as he sleepily approached me 

“Nah I’m up.” he said walking over to me, his morning voice something I’ve never heard before. 

“Good.” I said. “I need help.” I said looking up at him batting my eyes holding the matches out to him. he laughed as he took them. 

“You wanna learn?” He asked as he crouched down rubbing his eyes with one hand sliding the matches out of the box with the other, He pushed up his hoodie sleeves I noticed the bracelet I gave him at christmas still tied on his wrist. I nodded then crouched down beside him. “okay.” he said clearing his throat. “First we make the wood pile nothing too crazy, just enough to burn for a while. He said “then we take something small to burn first. In this case.” He said holding up the newspaper i had brought along “it’s paper, you take a small bit of this and then crumple it so then you light it and throw it into the smaller sticks underneath and then slowly the rest of the wood catches fire.” he said as he lit the newspaper.and threw it in. Sure enough there was smoke and small flames growing. 

“Wow.” I said and he turned to me and smiled. “Thank you.” I said he nodded then sat on the chair behind him. I stood up, I went over to get him a water bottle. I brought it back to him he looked up at me thankfully. he opened it and chugged all of it. “thirsty?” I asked he nodded. He was so sweet when it was just the two of us. I loved that he was this comfortable around me to let his little guard down. He’s told me all of his worries in the past. stuff only Jisung and I would probably ever know. He wasn’t just a spoiled rich kid. He lets people believe that about him sometimes. “It’s easier that way.” he said to me. He’s so incredibly passionate about everything he does but it seems like it all comes easy to him. Every one goes on about Haechan’s sunny demeanor but no one ever notices Chenle’s. I used to wonder it if was an act for him to be this happy and fun all the time. Then I realized he really loves what he does and who hes with. He wears his heart on his sleeve. These are all the things I’ve loved and will continue to love about him once I get over my phyisical attraction to him. don’t even get me started on that. I looked over at him as the fire grew before us. His hair catching the light just right, His face a little puffy from sleeping but that just made him cuter. his facial features delicate in a way. The way his hoodie hung on him slightly as it was too big for his growing frame. His little sweater paws. i smiled. He looked over at me 

“What?” He asked with a shy smile looking away 

“Nothing.” I said “You’re just a cutie.” I added teasing him. he blushed ten shades deep and looked away swatting his hand at me. I laughed “Thank you for the fire. i would have never done it.” I admitted 

“It’s no problem.” he said “I learned years ago.” He laughed as he thought back “my mom wanted me to know. you’re wife will thank you later in life.” she would tell me.” He laughed looking up at me through his eyelashes 

“lets’ hope your wife is as good a chef as me.” I said teasingly and he blushed again. He was so fun to tease. I went over to my pile of food and started getting it ready. I put the kettle on the fire and took out a frying pan. I started scrambling the egg’s in a big bowl. “you think they’ll get up anytime soon?” I asked him, he shrugged “this is enough for the two of us?” I asked him holding my bowl. He nodded. I poured them into the pan and cooked them til they were perfect. As if on cue the kettle slowly started it’s crescendo into screaming but Chenle stopped it before it could go full volume. i smiled a thanks at him. I took the eggs off and put them onto a paper plate. I Then opened two rice cups and poured the water in. I put the kettle off to the side.

“I’m starving” He said as we waited for the Rice to cook. I separated our eggs and got us cups of juice. Chenle and I sat beside each other sharing a small table between us. “let’s eat.” He said holding up his rice cup to me then digging in. It was so peaceful, the birds we’re chirping, The sun was shining but not beating down on us too hard that it was unbearable. The fresh air now mixed with the smell of our food. I looked up at Chenle between bites as he ate his food.”this is so good.” He said smiling at me. We slowly started talking about what he plans to do next time he goes to china, We talked about how much fun it would be if we all went out with him. He told me of all the places he wanted to show me. It was honestly so much fun just sitting and talking with him, He lit up when he talked about things he loved and that made me happy. I forgot it wasn’t a camping trip with just the two of us until Jaemin was suddenly behind Chenle. 

“Morning.” he smiled at me a huge smile and thumbs up from behind Chenle 

“Morning.” I said looking down

“Anything left for me?” He asked looking at our empty containers

“Yeah. coming right up.” I said, getting up to gather my cooking items. So much time had passed I put the kettle back on 

“I wasn’t interrupting was I?” he asked sitting down across from us pointing between Chenle and I yawning.

“we finished awhile ago.” I said trying to discreetly give him a dirty look. 

“Ah.” he said sitting back as Chenle tossed him a water bottle. I cooked him a bunch of scrambled eggs and let the kettle scream this time so everyone could wake up. After I took it off I heard a bunch of grumbling coming from the tent. I couldn’t help but laugh as one by one they all crawled out of the tent. 

“So are we swimming today?” Jisung asked excitedly as he ate.

“Yeah!” renjun said “The lake isn’t far from here.” 

“okay. Eat up then we’ll go.” I said. I had been saving a two piece suit forever, I always wore a one piece around them and they wore t-shirts too but i was almost an adult now I could wear what i wanted. I was too scared to wear it in actual public. “You guys go to the lake and change there i’ll come after.” I said as they all finished eating “I’ll clean up then meet you in like 15.” they all nodded and and gathered their things I could hear their banter slowly fade as I cleaned up all of our breakfast. I threw some water on the fire and went to change in the tent. I wasn’t as revealing as I had previously thought. The bottoms were almost shorts and the top was almost like a sports bra but it had cute little lacing up the middle. it would be perfect for the lake. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me, I felt self conscious as the breeze his all my exposed skin. I grabbed Haechan’s speaker and some bottles of water and made my way in the direction they had left. I  wasn’t walking long before I could hear them all playing around screaming. I walked closer and closer to the sound then I finally smelled the freshness of the lake. I could see it in the distance all of their heads floating around. 

“HEY!” I yelled out. they all turned and waved, only their heads poking out. I waved back “is it cold?” U asked 

“No! Just get in here!” Haechan said. I put my things down and laid my towel out. I turned to see all of them staring at me. Different unreadable expressions Jisung looking down and anywhere but at me, I sighed, Teenage boys. of all times for them to notice me it’s now. 

“You bought that when we went to the mall?” Jeno asked confused

“No” i said making way towards the water and jumping in “I’ve had this for years.” I said popping up and pushing my hair back “I’ve been too scared to wear it but it’s just us.” I said 

“In that case.” Jaemin said making his way to the shore. He got out to about his knees then flung the t-shirt the clung to him off and made his way back in 

“He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Jisung said floating on his back

”Jaemin make me uncomfortable?” I laughed as he came over and shoved me over. I splashed him back but ended up hitting Haechan behind the head he then came over and shoved me under the water. I came back out and then we started chasing each other all over the water. We played around for a few hours before I was exhausted and needed a drink. I went over to the shore and laid out my towel. I sat on it bringing my knees close to my chest as I drank some water. I looked out at the boys. Chenle and jisung  and Haechan we’re still playing with each other. Renjun was floating around living his best life and Jaemin and Jeno made their way towards me. 

“You brought the speaker!” Jeno said excitedly as he sat beside me splashing me in the process. I protested and shoved him over as he shook his hair at me. “Give me your phone!” he said as he fiddled around with the speaker. it wasn’t long before he had songs playing on the speaker for all to hear. They all turned in our direction and started making their way over to us. It wasn’t long before we were all laying on the lake shore, music blasting, The shade of the tree above protecting us from the hot sun that shone down.We lazed around on the shore all afternoon. It was late afternoon, We should be heading back for food sooner or later. I sat up 

“Anyone hungry?” i asked. They all said no. 

“i want to go back in the water, We should have brought a ball or something.” Jisung said. as they all agreed in varying stages of laziness. 

“Lets go then!” I said standing up and running into the water. Jisung followed suit. the were a few rocks so we were chasing each other back and forth to those seeing who could swim faster then that brought everyone else into the water. I washed away all of my impending worries in those moments. Living in the moment as the summer faded around us. Times I will remember for the rest of my life. The smiles of each of these boys that mean the world to me. The time where all we had was each other and we knew we’d be okay. I sat up on a rock and looked out at them. The same boys i knew at 14 now almost adults. So much we’ve been through but so much to go through yet. So many feelings and experiences to explore. So much life to live and i’m grateful to live it with them.  

[shinneth]

6, 1, 7, 5 and 10 for the fic writer meme!

OKAY. Finally got free from the distractions. Let’s see how well I can answer these. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses

Oh, I have a good amount of those. I would say my tl;dr curse (I don’t think I’ve EVER written a fic below four-figures, and very rarely does it end up 5k or lower), but I know there’s many out there who’d tell me that’s definitely a strength and that they’d love to be able to churn out six-figure epics in their sleep like I do. So let’s go with a more objective weakness.

I have the redundancy curse. I have this really, really really really really really really really bad habit of somehow reiterating a statement twice within the same sentence. Or at the very least, my verbiage will get repeated more times than it should within the same sentence (enough to the point where the sentence sounds very awkward when you read it out loud). This almost always happens because I’ll establish something at the beginning of my sentence, somehow forget about it midway through, and think I need to add it to the end.

I can’t tell you how many times I fall into that trap. Only through rereading my progress to get back into the groove to continue a chapter is when I’ll really have an opportunity to catch these slip-ups. Since I’ve never used betas and I’m pretty much fine finishing everything in one draft and all that. It’s astounding how many of these errors I’ll catch, really. And despite that, a few will always end up slipping through in the final product anyway! 

It’s a very annoying quirk that I’d love to fix, but again, it almost always happens right under my nose. No matter how conscious I try to be about this sort of thing, it’ll pop up when I least expect it. So really, all I can do is just try and catch as many as I can after I’ve written my stuff down, but before I finalize my piece.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

I think the name of the game here is Adaptation Expansion. I focus on a character (or a small group of characters) that I feel

A) Didn’t get as much canon development as they deserved

or

B) Might have gotten a decently good amount of focus, but I’m seeing many unsolved mysteries/curiosities around said character(s) and many possible routes to explore any headcanons that are raging inside of me.

Or the headcanon itself is just really nagging at me, so I make a whole story dedicated to it. 

In your typical Shin fic, the more Shin likes you, the more you should be afraid. Outside of having a wildly creative sadistic streak, my best ideas are usually best suited to my favorite characters, and I happen to be very big on the Earn Your Happy Ending trope. Certain series I feel kind of gave their characters a good conclusion a little too easily, and so I’ve made it my life’s mission to erase any doubt in my readers’ minds about whether or not the characters truly paid their dues to get their reward at the end. 

So of course, you add that with the sadism, and that means you’re very likely to get a fic that at least somewhat leans on the dramatic end. I think the vast majority of my Fanfiction.net stories are listed under “Drama”, now that I think about it. But really, drama’s what you go with when you wanna raise the stakes to crazy-high levels. It won’t be melodramatic 100% of the time, nor will it be grimdark or consummately edgy; I do make a point to add some witty humor and even fluff if it’s appropriate. But Shin fics are all about letting you see the kind of hell certain characters could be going through in canon and thankfully aren’t - yet you’re also seeing those same characters achieve a level of greatness canon would have never permitted because they put their all into reaching their goal. 

That’s about the gist of it: trying to outdo canon at its own game, giving justice I feel my favorites are due, but only after I put them through the seven circles of hell. 

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hm, okay. When it comes to pride, I’m typically very reserved in that regard. However, I was very proud of how This is Who I Am Chapter 5 turned out. I had an idea well before writing it about how I wanted to do a twist on the Mirror Match trope with Steven and Peridot - basically, forcing their light sides to fight off the dark sides of each other, rather than themselves. The more accurate terminology for what I actually pulled off was an inversion of Opponent Switch.

I was very happy how I managed to execute this plot, since so much of it was rigged in the dark sides’ favor and almost insured that only Steven or Peridot would come out of this alive; not both. When it came to Light Steven meeting Dark Peridot, I finally had the opportunity to properly write for Pre-Series Peridot, who I established earlier was a bit of an opportunistic sociopath. I was eager for the chance to make my version of Socio-Peri a legit unsettling psychopath and boy did I revel in it. So, without further ado:

Steven desperately tried to find any trace of hope remaining in this situation. "E-Even if you and him are just the worst things about us made into people, like you said, you are still part of Peridot, 5XG! You're linked, me and the other Steven are linked… and you two shouldn't want to shatter your loved ones, either!"

5XG found herself legitimately enjoying this; savoring Steven's agony and dwindling optimism. It had been far too long since she was able to relish in the pain of another; especially when it resulted in her getting rewarded for it.

"If you're attempting to argue that we don't have a single iota of contempt for one another, I suggest you spare us any more of your unacceptable stupidity by jumping off this platform and descend into the abyss where you belong," she said in a sharp tone. "You'll recall I absolutely despised you for quite some time before my weaker self got the better of me. Past-tense or not, it is a fact you cannot deny. Therefore, it is part of me. Consider it as valid as the fact that, regardless of tense and however I changed over time, I am and always will be a murderer."

"NO!"

Steven was completely shaken up, now driven to tears and cowering away from the Peridot who was his adversary long before becoming his soulmate.

"Please, don't!" he urged. "I've forgiven her already! I-I never hated her for–"

"You hate murderers," 5XG stated in a calm, neutral, but very firm tone that was sharp enough to cut Steven off. "Anyone who takes the life of another, you hate on principle. The cause or circumstance is of no concern to you and never has been."

Steven swore his blood ran freezing cold for a moment after taking in those words. He was stunned to the point of being unable to rebuke any of this.

"The Bismuth told me how events played out when you first met her," 5XG added, readily rubbing salt into the wound. "After knowing by this point how the Diamond Authority were responsible for committing multiple acts of global genocide, how this very planet was on that list, and were prone to shattering members of their own court on a misdemeanor or even on a whim. You were aware of all of this."

Steven squinted his eyes, trying his best to shut away any more tears. He tried to turn away from 5XG; his entire body was shivering while his hands balled up into fists. "P-Please, stop…"

"Yet you admonished the Bismuth for daring to create weapons made for wiping out an enemy with lethal force; legitimate ways to justifiably defend yourself against an enemy you know would not hesitate to take your life if they had an opening. You stood there, and you actually labeled her as one who is completely indistinguishable from White, Blue, or Yellow Diamond," 5XG continued; of course she wouldn't honor his request. "A loyal ally of your maternal unit whose focus was always on doing her best to defend her friends and loved ones, who only fought when forced to by the Homeworld gems… to her face, you belittled her convictions and you said there was no difference between her and the maniacal, genocidal dictators that you yourself were defending against along with your loved ones – just as the Bismuth herself. I honestly don't blame her for trying to kill you that day. You should have died."

5. Share one of your strengths.

Phew... this one’s a little awkward for me. I know one thing I’m objectively good at is writing insanely long shit that is at least good enough to compel people to lose sleep or pull all-nighters as they strive to finish it. I can at least safely say that because nearly every goddamn reviewer I’ve ever had has gone out of their way to mention this. Even if they don’t review, if I ever have a chance to talk to them personally, they’re normally gonna let me know they sacrificed many hours of sleep because of me :P 

But really, I’m consistently praised for expanding on characters or concepts that canon either could have touched on more or barely touched at all. Some people have gained newfound appreciation for characters they didn’t care about or even hated because of my portrayals, and that’s pretty damn empowering to hear. I’ll often get remarks along the lines of me taking a character and “really making them my own” - in a positive way. Sometimes I have plot twists that are complete and utter batshit on paper, but then I’ll get commended for making it completely believable to the point where readers tell me they wish it was actually canon. 

So, that’s enough of a strength, I would say. I can reach really far and still make an AU story sound like it could have easily fit in canon even if my ideas are ones the staff won’t touch with a 10-mile pole.

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

rsilgjdgkljdgsjgahhahhhh, that’s not as easy a question as you might think! Every story has given me a hurdle or two. 

I think by default, I’m gonna say it’s Peri-dise: The Capitalist Anarchy. Because while I put my own spin on it and added a lot of things to make a proper story out of it, Peridot’s little Citystate session was almost exactly to the letter like a certain one by GrayStillPlays. So a lot of the heavy lifting was already done for me in that regard. Still made sure to add plenty to it just to ensure it wasn’t SOLELY just a retelling of that video with some name changes.

And that takes care of my first big ask! Hopefully those were satisfactory answers. I’ll... TRY and get to another before I pass out. Really wasn’t fair of CN to drop this leak on the same day I’d have to contend with 3 hours of Monday Night RAW...

[blackpantherismyish]

Nights Like This

A/N: Shoutout to the G.O.A.T herself, @whoramilaje for helping flesh this out. This idea has been in my head since this song came out because Lani is the loml. This is pre-marriage H&E. Don't worry. Also grab ya tissues cause whew chile.

Song: Nights Like This - Kehlani ft Ty Dolla $ign

Warning(s): Angst... Don't say I didn't warn you.

Italics are flashbacks

---

The clock on his phone read 11:46 pm on a Friday night. The wind whipping past Erik's ears softly as the flicker of his lighter and the soft hiss of his blunt filled the air around him. It had been a while since he had done this alone. He could still remembered` when he would sit outside with her, smoke a blunt and stare at the stars…

“Ugh! That tasted disgusting!” she gagged as she recovered from her coughing fit. They were smoking a hybrid mixture of two very earthy strains.

“Well nobody told you to pull like you were smoking a gahdamn chimney..” Erik choked back a laugh as he took the blunt away from her.

“Nigga whatever… I don't see how you do it. That tasted like I was smoking oregano.” Hennessy wiped her face and sat back in one of the lounge chairs they had on their balcony. It was an ungodly time of night and this man wanted to get high… Niggas.

Erik slapped his thigh as he held the blunt between his lips.

“Did you j-just say oregano?” He howled a laugh, throwing his head back.

“I did. How dare you make me smoke lawn clippings. Disrespectful ass.” Henny giggled watching Erik continue to laugh his ass off. It really wasn't that bad, she just loved making him laugh with her foolishness.

“Stop. P-please. My stomach hurts.” Tears had made their way down his face as he continued to laugh. He probably wasn't even that high, but she wasn't helping. Laughing herself, she looked up at stars. They were so bright. Little white specks littering the sky above.

“Are you going to pass it back and stop laughing?” She glanced over at him as he calmed down, his shoulders still jumping. Sitting up slightly, he handed the blunt over.

“Thought you said I was making you smoke lawn clippings…” He leaned on his arm and looked her in awe. She was one of those people that could make the simplest things the most intriguing to watch.

“Well these lawn chippings 'bout to get me high off my ass so I really don't care.” She french inhaled with ease, then blew the smoke out of her nose like a dragon.

“You damn right…” Slowly sitting back in the chair, his gaze shifted from the tiny woman to the sky, just in time for a shooting star to fly by.

“Make a wish…” Henny whispered softly, closing her eyes.

“Don't need to, It's already come true.” Erik reached over and engulfed her tiny hand in his own.

“What is it?” Her eyes remained closed as his thumb rubbed against the back of her hand.

“That I'd finally find happiness..” His voice faded away as he got lost in the stars. She could hear the smile in his voice.

A cold breeze pulled Erik out of his thoughts. He could feel something cold and wet on his face. He was… crying? Legit tears. Eye sweat. Whatever you want to call it. But why? He was tough. This big beast of a man. Why was he crying over a stupid memory?

The truth?

His heart ached. Worse than any other pain he had ever experienced. Lifting the blunt back to his lips, he blinked away other tears that had welled in his eyes. She had been the only person to affect him in such a way. When she left, she took his happiness with her.

“Eriiiik.” Her whines echoed through the hallway along with the shuffle of her feet.

“In the kitchen, Shy.” He chuckled stirring a pot of soup. Soon after the shuffling ceased, her small arms wrapped around his midsection and her head rested on his back.

“Why weren't you in bed?” She croaked, coughing briefly afterwards.

“Because I'm making you tea and soup,” he hummed, grabbing the bowl from the counter.

“R-really?” She lifted her head, putting it under his arm to look up at him. Being such a light complexion, you could tell when she was sick. Her nose turned a bright red.

“Yes Rudolph,” he teased placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “You're running a fever… Go lay back down.” Her bottom lip began to poke out.

“B-but Daaakkkaa,” she whined. She always sang his name as a means of getting her way, but he wouldn’t back down.

“Bed Shy. Now..” He pointed out of the kitchen, looking down at her. Whimpering one last time, she hugged him briefly and shuffled her way back to bed, dragging her feet extra loud for dramatic emphasis. She always became a big baby when she got sick. Not like he cared too much, she was his big baby after all.

By the time the wind pulled Erik out of his thoughts again, he only had a little bit of his blunt left. The fact that he was absentmindedly smoking his way through his memory didn't surprise him too much. That was the effect she had on him. Time stood still when they were together and apparently the same still existed in his memories. He finished his blunt before slowly dragging back into the house. He hated everything about it now because everywhere he turned, he saw her. In his bedroom he still smelled her. He could still see her tiny hand print next to his against the foggy bathroom mirror. He couldn’t even partake in his favorite drink anymore because it was her gahdamn name.

“Man fuck!” he screamed into the darkness. He placed his back against the cool metal of the refrigerator and slid down to the floor, the note she left still where he left it.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not the one you need. I have more issues than I’m ready to deal with and it’s not fair to drag you along with me. I hope one day you find that one person that loves you as deeply as you love them. -Shy”

He’s read it a million times in the last 3 months and it still didn’t make any sense. Didn’t she understand that his sun rose and set for her and that there was no woman alive that would love him the way she did and if he were being honest, he didn’t want anyone else. It was like that feeling you get when you capture a Firefly in a jar. Your own little light that shined through all the darkness that surrounded you. But the night she left, his light slowly went out.

“Alexa, play Shy’s Songs.” 12 Midnight. The time that he spent torturing himself with memories of his sunshine. Within seconds, Kehlani’s soft voice filled the space.

On some nights like this, shawty, I can't help but think of us

I've been reminiscin', sippin', missin' ya

Can you tell me what's with all this distant love?

If I called, would you pick it up?

That line stirred something in him. She always said that if he ever needed her, she’d be there regardless of the situation. He stood, grabbing his phone from the kitchen counter. With a deep sigh he clicked her contact photo.

—

She watched as the phone lit up. It was the first time in 3 months that she’d seen his face flash across her phone screen and it made her sick. She knew that Erik Stevens wasn’t like the men of her past the day she met him and that’s what scared her the most. Things were easier when they were “just friends”. The dealer and the stoner living in peaceful bliss. She thought it would be easier this way, leaving like a thief in the night while he slept peacefully.

Looking at the phone, Erik sighed. His thumb hovered over the end call button when he heard a click.

“Hello?” Her soft voice echoed through the phone's speaker.

Time stood still like it always did when he talked to her. This is the first time he didn't know what to do. She was the first to break the silence, firing out apologies like an auctioneer.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just afraid. I didn’t wanna fall for you and then end up breaking your heart. Please forgive me.” The last 3 words were hushed and he couldn’t make out if she were crying or not, but his heart aches for her. She’d been going through just as much hell as he had.

“Where are you Princess? I’ll meet you and we can talk about this.”

“I’m outside.”

---

Taglist:  @panthergoddessbast @sweetsexysavagery @blackpanthersmut @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-4evr  @hearteyes-for-killmonger @killmongersgurl @dreamingoftchalla @drsunshine97 @thehomierobbstark @texasbama @youreadthatright @hailerikmonger @wakanda-inspired @lunaerly @wawakanda-btch @ange-sensuel @magic-madness-heavensin @eriknutinthispoosy @muse-of-mbaku @sicksadgen @killmvnger @allhailnjadaka @whoramilaje @amethyst1993  @thickoreo @blackpantherimagines @kxnfuzed-blog-blog  @bidibidibombaclaat @blowmymbackout

(I is alive. School is stressful but eh. Sorry if I didn't tag you, this was a quick list that is overdue for an update.🙄 I don't know when I'mma update Soo we'll see what happens. Buh-bye now👋🏽)

[seouledbysisi]

Moonlit

Chapter 14

Sapphire walked along the Han River trying to clear her head. She wasn’t sure where her head or heart was. Woojae had literally came to her house immediately after he was discharged from the hospital which gave her the feels. She was the first person he wanted to see after a scary situation he had just been faced with. Maybe he really did care. It also didn’t help that Bloo had actually texted to check up on Woojae. He wasn’t the biggest fan of this guy but he cared enough about her to check in on someone who was important to her. That spoke volumes as well.

“I thought I’d find you here.” A quiet yet familiar voice spoke behind her.

Sapphire stopped walking and turned to her best friend. “How’d you find me?” She asked with a small smile.

Riley draped her arm over Saph’s shoulders. “Because whenever you leave the house without saying a word, I follow you distantly just to make sure you’re okay.”

Sapphire looked up at her. “Really? Wow! Thank you for being so great to me.”

“What are best friends for?! Now what’s wrong?”

Sapphire sighed and sat on the sidewalk. The breeze hit her face and pushed her hair back. “You’re going to think I’m crazy if I tell you.”

Riley slapped her leg softly. “Try me.”

“I caught feelings.” Sapphire answered plainly.

Riley raised an eyebrow. “For Woojae?”

Sapphire shrugged. “Yeah and-“ she trailed off the rest of her sentence. She knew Riley wasn’t a fan of Bloo so she wanted to keep that part to herself for a while.

“Bloo? I already knew.”

“How?”

Riley chuckled a bit. “The way you acted when he showed up to the club with another girl explained a lot. Your body language speaks louder than words babe.”

Sapphire rolled her eyes. “I don’t understand how this happened. Like I get the feelings for Woojae but Bloo, I don’t get at all!”

“I get it though, he’s making an actual effort now and sometimes it doesn’t matter what the person did in the past, sometimes all that matters is the present.” Riley rubbed her thigh a bit. She knew Sapphire wasn’t happy about these feelings.

“It just sucks because I honestly was at a space where I was somewhat ready to give Woojae a chance, like a legit chance. This hospital scare had me thinking about the fact that he could be gone any day and I’d be left wondering what if. And then Bloo’s ass makes a total 360 and becomes this sweet, caring person that I knew deep down he could be but it’s such wrong timing! Why the hell did he have to start being nice?” Sapphire buried her face into her hands.

“You know I don’t hate Bloo, right? I just saw where he seemed to have potential but he wasn’t using it. I actually think you and him sort of make sense. Sometimes even more than Woojae on his good days. You fit well with both of them so I can’t tell you who you should be with. Selfishly I want you to be with Woojae because him & Junwon are close but Bloo is growing on me. I just want you to be happy and I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

Sapphire exhaled loudly. “Bloo doesn’t even know about my past, you know? He’s kind of like the wind, I don’t know which way he’s going to blow so I haven’t trusted him enough to tell him. He doesn’t even know that I actually like him. I kinda don’t even want him to know. . .”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I guess because even though he’s being an actual friend, I don’t know if it goes beyond that. He has stated multiple times that he’s not the relationship type and he’s never told me why he feels that way. So I feel like having any form of feelings for him is really pointless and Woojae is the safer choice but it’s also not fair to Woojae if I enter a relationship with him knowing that part of me wants Bloo too.”

Sapphire’s phone pinged. Are you busy tomorrow night around 6ish?

“Whose that?” Riley asked.

Sapphire smiled a little. “Bloo. He asked if I’m busy tomorrow night.”

“I feel like something important is happening tomorrow night that we both are supposed to be at.” Riley thought for a moment. “Maybe not- I don’t know. Just say no to see what he wants.” She giggled.

I’m pretty sure I’m free. She texted back.

“He probably wants to hang out or something. We haven’t really hung out in a while. We’ve just been talking on the phone and texting which had been nice. He actually makes good conversation.” Sapphire revealed.

Riley gasped. “So that’s who you be on the phone with late at night when you be laughing like a hyena?!?!”

Sapphire covered her face. “I do not sound like a hyena!”

“Well gis concersations must be hilarious because you be loud!” Riley rolled her eyes. “You know some of us actually try to sleep at zero dark thirty!”

Sapphire waved her off. “Your ass be on the phone with Junwon too when he’s not staying over!” Her phone pinged. So there’s this industry gala type thing happening.

Mhm and? She responded to him.

“Okay so apparently there’s a gala?” Sapphire asked Riley.

Riley’s eyes bulged. “Fuck! I forgot! Oh my freaking gosh! Junwon is gonna kill me! I don’t even have a gown yet! Shit, Sapphire!”

Sapphire laughed. “Damn! I mean technically we can go tomorrow and buy you a dress, he doesn’t have to know that you’re not prepared!”

This might sound weird and you can say no if you want but I need a plus one. . .:)

Sapphire’s eyes widened. “He just asked me to be his plus one. What the actual fuck?!” She was literally shocked. Her phone pinged again.

Maybe this could be our first legit date? No pressure, you can still say no if you want.

Sapphire choked on her spit and began coughing uncontrollably.

“What is it girl?!” Riley asked as she beat her back.

Sapphire handed her the phone quickly.

Riley read the messages in astonishment. “Bloo? Asking you on a date? And the fact that it’s something fancy as hell! What has gotten into him?”

“I don’t know girl. What should I say?”

“Well I definitely want you there so say yes! I mean I was going to get you in regardless but this just makes my job easier now.” Riley expounded.

Well this is definitely a shocker but sure I’ll be your date.

The next day

The girls had been out at the mall searching for gowns to wear to the gala.

“So is this like a hip hop gala or what exactly?” Sapphire asked Riley.

Riley shrugged a little. “I think a lot of different independent labels are gathering together for this. So basically.”

“So Woojae is gonna be there?”

Riley glanced at her for a moment. “More than likely. Is that gonna be weird for you?”

“Ah, maybe. He didn’t ask me to go though so it’s all good.” Sapphire smiled it off.

“Would you have gone with him if he’d asked?” Riley asked as she pulled out a pretty gown.

“Of course. I’ve never turned him down for any other date he asked me on so why would I now?”

“Because Of Bloo?”

Sapphire giggled. “Bloo was in the picture all the other times too and that didn’t change anything.”

“But things are different now. You actually like Bloo and quite frankly he likes you too seeing as he actually asked you on a DATE!”

Sapphire shrugged. “I’m just taking it day by day. That’s all I can do. Hopefully my head and heart will all be on the same terms when the time comes.” She held up a gown. “You like this?”

“It’s sexy! I love it!” Riley winked.

They bought their gowns and headed to the shoe store.

“Is Junwon driving there?” Sapphire asked.

Riley nodded. “Yeah, is Bloo?”

“I think so. He said he would pick me up at 5:45.”

“I really hope our tables are near each other because it will be torture having to sit without you all freaking night! We’re gonna be surrounded by men!” Riley rolled her eyes.

Sapphire put the finishing touch on her makeup and fluffed her hair a bit. She couldn’t believe how good she looked. She wasn’t used to wearing fancy clothes like this.

The doorbell rang so she immediately ran to answer it.

Junwon smiled when he looked up at her.

“You look beautiful, it’s a shame that Woojae isn’t here to see it.”

Sapphire gave him a slight smile. “Thank you, just wait till you see Riley. She’s the beautiful one.” She moved aside to let him in. As she moved away from the door the doorbell sounded off again. She took a deep breath. “This is it!” She whispered to herself. She actually was feeling the nerves which never happened with Bloo.

She was pleasantly surprised by how well Bloo cleaned up.

“Wow!” Her mouth dropped.

“Whoa!” He said to her. “I’m sorry but you look amazing. That gown, your hair. Everything is perfect. Not that you’re not perfect anyway but gosh I don’t know how to explain-“

Sapphire smiled at him. “Your rambling is kind of funny. I know what you meant though. Come in,I’m almost ready!”

He pulled a rose from behind his back. “I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers to get, or if you even liked flowers which is why I only got you one. I’m sorry if this is corny or weird. I don’t really do stuff like this-“

“You’re rambling again.” She took the rose and held it to her nose. “Thank you, it’s not corny at all. It’s surprisingly romantic which is something you’re not. Normally anyway, no offense.”

“None taken.” He closed the door behind him and took a seat on the opposite side of the couch from Junwon. “What’s up?!” He spoke.

“What’s up?! You good?” Junwon replied. He noticed Bloo sweating a little and it wasn’t hot in the house.

Bloo wiped his forehead. “Do you ever get this nervous?”

Junwon smiled a little. “When it comes to Riley I’m always nervous!”

Bloo’s eyes widened. “And y’all have been dating how long?”

“A few months. But the time-frame doesn’t change how you feel or how that person makes you feel. It’s not bad that you’re feeling nerves, it means you’re feeling something real. Something tangible that you’re almost scared to let go of. You know what I mean?”

Bloo nodded. “So I’m always gonna feel like this?”

Junwon shrugged. “If it’s real, yeah. It’s like butterflies. I know men don’t like to talk about this stuff but it’s true. Nothing wrong with feelings.”

Bloo took a deep breath. “I’ve never felt like this, you probably already knew that though. She’s the first girl that I’ve ever wanted to be more than just- you know?”

“Well she’s like a sister to me and she means the world to Riley so if you hurt her then- you know?!” Junwon nodded.

“I know. I’m trying to be a better person. She makes me want to do better.” Bloo smiled and stared into space.

The ladies emerged from their rooms.

Riley

The guys immediately stood up and walked over to them.

Bloo pulled Sapphire into a tight hug.

Sapphire was taken aback. “You Okay?” She looked down at him. Her heels made her a couple inches taller than him.

“Yeah I’m good. I just want to say thank you for coming with me.” He smiled tightly at her.

Sapphire giggled a bit. “Okay- you’re welcome I guess. Thanks for inviting me.”

He nodded.

Riley eyed their interaction. “Why’s he being weird?” She whispered to Junwon.

Junwon smiled a little. “We’ll have that conversation later.”

They all headed to the gala.

When they arrived the ballroom was decorated so lavishly. The ladies were astonished. They couldn’t believe their eyes.

“Is Chaeyoung coming?” Sapphire asked as she looked around.

Riley shrugged. “She’s so occupied with Noah that we hardly ever talk anymore and when we do it’s quick texts.” Riley looked a bit sad.

“She doesn’t really talk to me either except when she comes to the club. She don’t even come to the apartment anymore. I guess if I had a boyfriend I’d be up under him too.” Sapphire responded.

Riley shook her head. “I have Junwon and I still make time for you!”

“I know but we also live together so we really don’t get a chance to not have time for one another. And plus this is her first real relationship, so it’s different. Bare with her, it’ll get better.” Sapphire pulled her into a hug.

Chaeyoung strolled up to them with Noah hand in hand. “Hey y’all!”

“Speaking of the devil!” Riley rolled her eyes.

Chaeyoung sighed. “You’re mad at me I know. I’m going to make time for you! School is hectic.”

“Mhm. Does Noah get to see you during your hectic schedule?” Riley asked.

Junwon tugged her arm a bit. “Give her a break boo. She’s young and in love.” He laughed.

“It’s my fault. I’m always making plans for us. I forget that she has other people that love her too. Don’t blame her. I’ll stop taking up so much of her time.” Noah intervened.

Riley gave him a small smile. “It’s okay. I understand.” She walked to the table that had Junwon’s name card on it.

Sapphire sighed. “You ready to sit down?” She asked Bloo.

Bloo nodded. “Yeah we’re over there.” He grabbed her hand and led her to a table that was in front of the table that Riley had just sat at.

Everyone took their rightful seats and waited to be served their food.

Sapphire turned around to get Riley’s attention and noticed the girl from the hospital sitting next to Woojae.

Riley rolled her eyes. “You okay?” She mouthed to Sapphire.

Sapphire nodded and turned back around. Her heart had dropped a bit. She knew Woojae was going to be there but she never imagined that he would be sitting beside his ex or whatever the hell she was. Her heart felt a sting.

Bloo grabbed her hand and rubbed it. “You good?”

Sapphire squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She shouldn’t even be upset seeing as she was there with Bloo but at the end of the day he had asked her to come and it wasn’t fair for her to ruin his night all because Woojae had shown up with his ex. “I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

He chuckled. “Because I know you’re a little upset because boytoy is here with another woman.”

She shook her head quickly. “No no. I’m not. It just shocked me with who he’s here with. I swear to you that it’s not just because he’s with another-“

“It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation. I’m just glad you came with me.” He continued to rub her hand softly.

Sapphire smiled at him. She squeezed his hand. “I’m glad you invited me. You didn’t have to but you’ve made tonight special for me.”

He kissed the top of her hand.

[nananaptime]

I’m still in love with you

I made myself cry...

Masterlist Rules

Genre: More angst than fluff but still some fluff if you squint

Word count: 2 425

Summary: Getting over someone is easier said than done...

“Are you sure this is okay?” I looked at Doyoung’s worried expression and nodded, a small smile on my face. It did nothing to erase the concern from my friend’s eyes. “You know he’s bringing her, right?” He received yet another nod and gave me a sigh in return but let it be, knowing I was way too stubborn to remove myself from the situation.

We were currently waiting outside the café where we had decided to meet up with Jaehyun and Hanna, his current girlfriend and the reason to Doyoung’s worry. Jaehyun and I had been dating for quite a while but broke it off a couple of months ago due to wanting different things and moving at different paces. After a year and a half long relationship it was harder than I thought to move on and now that he had someone else on his side, I didn’t know if my heart could take it. I was lucky enough that the café of choice was not the one we used to spend our time at, knowing that it would’ve been impossible to handle if that had been the case.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw them rounding a corner, slowly making the way towards us. Him with a big happy smile on his face and her giggling under his arm. Did he use to smile like that when he was with me? It was not the first time I met her as they had been dating for three weeks now and a week into their relationship, he introduced her to our group of friends.

“Y/N! Doyoung! You’re early.” I shrugged at his statement, slightly glancing at Hanna’s friendly smile. She was a nice girl, I had no right to be rude towards her.

“The bus times didn’t add up correctly enough for the time we were supposed to meet up.” Jaehyun nodded before giving me a brief hug, expressing his happiness to see me before doing the same to Doyoung, letting Hanna take his place and give me a hug as well. Her long hair was soft and brushed my face as the wind picked up to which she apologized before gently taking my wrist and dragged me into the café and choosing a table, saying the boys would order for us.

I wish she was rude or something so I would have a reason to hate her, but I couldn’t find any flaws what so ever, she was impossibly perfect. Jaehyun deserved someone like her.

“How’s your book coming, Y/N? Jaehyun tells me you’ve been working quite hard on it.” The fact that I was a subject of discussion between the two left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I answered her question nonetheless, informing her of the progress of my writing and how it was nowhere near finished yet. “Well, I’m sure it’s going to be really good. Tell me when it’s released, and I’ll definitely buy it.” Her smile was almost contagious as I found myself fighting one of my own at her enthusiastic support. At that moment, the boys arrived with our orders.

“One chai latté for you, my darling.” As Hanna was about to accept it, Jaehyun held it out of her reach, making a knowing smile appear on Hanna’s lips. With a tap of his fingers to his cheeks, Jaehyun alerted her of what she had to do so she pressed a swift kiss to his cheek and cheekily grabbed the beverage from his hands. I almost puked in my mouth.

Doyoung sat down next me, handing me my mocha latté before gently rubbing my arm in a soothing manner to which I shook it off, not wanting the pity at the moment, or any moment at all for that matter. Doyoung understood, he always does, and he acts accordingly, so he started talking about something that did not have anything to do with the relationship in front of us but no matter how much he managed to control the conversation, he had no such luck with the actions that was impossible to ignore. The way Jaehyun would carefully move a strand of her from her face or some stray tea from her chin, it all reminded me of our time together, when he did that to me with that same look of adoration in his eyes. Knowing I would never be on the receiving end of that any more hurt more than you can imagine. I finally had enough as she offered some of her drink to him by gently pouring it into his mouth herself, the tears were slowly surfacing, and I knew I had to get out of there.

“I think I should go,” I whispered to Doyoung to avoid any possible drama and as he nodded I slowly stood up and slid out of the booth. He asked if I wanted him to accompany me, but I denied, saying I’d rather be alone at the moment and thanking him at the same time. Just before I turned my back towards the group, I caught Jaehyun’s eyes and couldn’t help but noticing the confused expression filling them. With no pause to explain myself, I walked out of the café and headed towards the bus stop a couple of meters away. Finally letting some of my tears fall, I was relieved to be out of the situation. However, that sense of relief didn’t last long once I heard him call my name. I couldn’t help but stop even though I knew I should’ve kept going, for my own sake, for my heart’s sake. But I stopped because I knew that no matter how much time passes, I will always do anything for him.

“Are you okay?” He sounded out of breath like he’d been running. I didn’t know what answer to give because I didn’t know how to explain it. I didn’t want to cause him any pain, he should have the freedom to be with whoever he wants without his ex coming in the way, no matter how good friends we are. With a sniffle, I answered his question as truthfully as I could.

“I just need to be alone for a while.” I should’ve known he wouldn’t settle for that, so I scolded myself for being surprised when he physically turned me towards him. Hoping that it wasn’t obvious that I had cried was stupid as well as I knew that would be the first thing he would notice. He cradled my face in his hands, a concerned expression now covering his features.

“Have you been crying?” I pulled away from his grip and wiped my nose slightly as I sniffled.

“Nope, not at all, I just realised I had to get home.” I tried leaving again but was unsuccessful as he grabbed my wrist and stopped me from taking another step.

“Y/N.” A stern tone was hovering over every syllable. “Is it because of Hanna?” When I didn’t answer he knew he was correct. A frustrated sigh left his lips as he released my hand. “I don’t understand why you can’t just like her, she’s trying her absolute best to get on your good side and yet you seem to dislike her. Y/N, you’re my best friend, I want you two to get along, it’s really important to me. Is that so hard?” I was starting to shake slightly as he went on about his wishes of friendships. “Why is it so hard to just…” He didn’t manage to say another word before my words hit him in the face like a slap.

“Because I’m still in love with you!” Tears were now falling down my face freely as I turned towards him again, chest heaving with pent-up emotions. Jaehyun looked at me, stunned.

“What?” The small word, barely audible, left his mouth and made me even more frustrated.

“I’m still in love with you, okay, and seeing you acting all cute and adorable with her hurts and no matter how much I try to like her, I can’t. I wish she was mean, I wish she was annoying, I wish I had a legit reason to dislike her, but I don’t so I try to like her, but I can’t because I’m still in love with you.” Jaehyun didn’t seem to be able to get over the shock of my revelation and remained quiet. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get out of here before I say something I’ll regret even more.” With no further words coming from my mouth, I walked away, still shaking and with tears streaming down my cheeks, and left Jaehyun standing at the parking lot behind me.

I had not managed to calm down once I reached my apartment, quite the opposite really and I knew a panic attack was on its way. After pacing around my home, trying to calm down, I realised who I needed to call and dialling her number took less than three seconds.

One tone went by.

Two tones.

Three tones.

“Y/N! What’s wrong?” It’s amazing how I didn’t even have to say anything for Lia, my absolute best friend, to know something wasn’t right.

“I just – I – I can’t –”

”Y/N?” The concern was more evident than ever in her voice.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m coming over and you’ll tell me everything okay.” A small sound of acknowledgement left my mouth before we hung up and I went to sit down on the sofa, just waiting, trying to calm myself down.

A couple of minutes later there was a knock on my door and Lia was soon inside my apartment, hugging me to her body in a matter of seconds, which is when I, once again, broke down. After a while, it seemed like my tears had been used up and my eyes dried up, leaving me with a headache and a hurting throat.

I gave Lia a brief of my day and I could see the pity form in her eyes to which she received a warning look. I didn’t mean to tell Jaehyun about my feelings, I had tried to get over him but when the friendship is impossible to avoid it’s a lot harder said than done. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to see him, I just wanted to get away. Informing Lia of my wish to disappear for a while she suggested that I could go do something I’ve always wanted to do. Go see the cherry blossoms in Japan. Instantly feeling a little better at the idea of leaving the country for a while, I grabbed my computer and started looking for cheap flights and hotels, Lia laughing at how fast I’d jumped on board the idea. Soon enough I had everything booked and was more than ready to do a getaway for a couple of days. Making Lia promise to not tell Jaehyun about my whereabouts, I started packing as she alerted Doyoung and Taeil of my impulsive trip, finally feeling my heart lift a bit.

Japan was beautiful, more beautiful than I ever dared to imagine, especially during spring. I had spent my first day here walking around town, checking out different local cafés and stores, even though I wasn’t much for shopping, you never knew what you would find. I saved the best to last and while the second day was spent at museums and such, the third day was the best even before it began. Spending it in the park among trees filled with cherry blossoms was a dream come true and eventually, Jaehyun had slipped my mind like a lead in the wind. I had brought my small sketchbook along and intended on getting down some sceneries for partly my book but also partly for my own memory, so I never forget the heavenly sight in front of me.

All those hours admiration and glee quickly crashed down as my phone rang and I glanced at the caller ID. I came here to avoid him, to forget him, to move on. Why isn’t he letting me do that? With a nervous sigh, I answered the phone.

“Jaehyun, hi.” The fact that my voice didn’t shake was a miracle.

“Y/N.” That was all I got, my name, no indication of why he called.

“Uhm, I’m not in the country at the moment so this will probably cost a lot, so we can talk once I get back?” I cursed myself for letting my nerves show as I finally took a breath after completing the sentence.

“I broke up with Hanna.” My heart stopped.

“What?” This time, I was the one speaking in small letters.

“I broke up with her, she took it pretty well, she knew that…” I regained my ability to talk.

“Jaehyun, we should talk about this when I come back because this will be really expensive. I’m not in the country, I’m in…”

“Japan, I know.” Goddamnit Lia. ”And I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.” What? “I knew seeing you in your dream scenery would blow me away, but you look even more amazing than I ever thought was possible. The pink flowers really complement your appearance, and you’re wearing my favourite jacket on you and….” His breath hitched slightly as I held mine, not believing what I was hearing. “… and the necklace I gave you.” My fingers immediately reached up to touch the jewellery around my neck, I usually wear a high neck shirt, so he doesn’t see it. I haven’t had the heart to take it off. “Wow, you’re so beautiful.”

“How, what I, how…” I couldn’t form a coherent sentence and a chuckle was heard from the other line.

“Turn around.”

And there he was, in all his glory, a few feet away from me, giving me his signature soft smile. I was shocked, what was he doing here? As he started moving towards me, I found myself frozen in shock, not able to move even an inch. Eventually, he was a mere inch away from me.

“What are you doing here?” I could barely talk hence the whisper that came from my mouth. A small, loving smile played on his lips and instead of answering my question, he kissed me, before pulling away and remaining the same distance as before.

“I’m still in love with you.” Before I had the time to react, he kissed me again.

[finderskeepersff]

21.

It’s a weird feeling to have, to know I haven’t got anywhere to go or anyone to see. It is just me and Sofia, that is it. For a while the boys are just laying low and we will meet up, I will get rid of my burner phone soon but I just need to know nobody is trying to hunt me down. I feel like I have so much time on my hands, the fuck do I do all day now. Sighing out looking around the living room, we got to the hotel and this time I didn’t make the mistake of getting just a room, it’s a suite. But it is a weird feeling, it’s like my mind is at rest, it’s just pure silence. There is not a worry in my mind, I don’t have to hide. I can be free, I can be me. I can be legit, I mean I will be. We have only been here for one night, but it’s currently good vibes right now so I’m happy, I am happy. Getting up from the couch, let me see what Sofia is doing in the bedroom. I just feel I have too much time on my hands, this is crazy. Maybe I could take Sofia on a date, I don’t know. Poking my head around the door, my smile grew seeing Sofia on the tablet I bought her, she is doing what I wanted, she wanted to do interior design, she can. I love it, looking around the room. It’s a mess, I mean my mess “what you doing over there creep” I smiled looking back at Sofia “erm, come to see you” walking into the room “again?” She placed the tablet down “well you know me, I thought I would come and clean the room up a little too, it’s my mess” Sofia can’t stop smiling “you’re bored, come here. See this” she waved me over, I can help. I jumped on the bed “yes bub?” Resting the side of my face on Sofia’ arm “this is how I would like the living room, our living room. It’s just a sketch but what do you think?” Furrowing my eyebrows “what’s the little writing?” I pointed out “the colours I’m thinking, I will add colour but just sketching it out” letting out an oh “ok but I think with this couch, can we make it a corner couch. I mean I think we have two rooms, so you could do that” Sofia cooed out “we make a good team, thank you” I shrugged smiling.

Watching Sofia get ready “you really got time on your hands” Sofia laughed at me “I do, so now I can just stare at you. You want to go on a date?” Sofia laughed out “wow Cassius, you want to take me on a date? Mhmmm see the thing is, I’m busy” why she playing for “that’s a lie, I am literally your only friend here” Sofia walked over to me “how do you know that? What if you ain’t and get your leg off my clothes” she picked my leg up and moved it “I know you lying to me, ok how about we go for some food?” All this time is not good “we can, when you say date. I want you to surprise me and think about it not just say it randomly” she is so fussy “yes ma’am, I do hope you like the house though. I do, I mean from the pictures I do love it” I miss Brooklyn already, it’s like my territory, I knew where I could go, what I can do “I’m sure I will, it’s the one where it had a good school network right?” Nodding my head “but Cassius I am annoyed at you, Mitch offered you a job and you ignored it. That does make me wonder, your friends being around too” I regret it too now because I’m bored “I just had a lot on my mind Sofia, trust me. I wish I did myself. But I was stressed and you knew that” I know she knows that “then what was you and Mitch talking about?” Sofia questioned “about you!” I pointed at her “why me?” Sofia asked so confused “he was asking about would I get engaged to you, I was just saying how scared I was. You’re the only woman to make me feel scared, I don’t know if marriage is my thing but I would for her, he said it would be your thing. He was just saying that stability is something you want and I said I will give you that, it was just about you” Sofia cooed out, poking her bottom lip out “Cass…” rubbing the back of my neck “you stressed me out, leave me alone” waving her off “you so cute, I do love you” rolling my eyes.

Sofia let me drive her car, she will not let go of this at all “so the home, it has five bedrooms. I mean do we really need that many rooms? It says they have a few properties around the area so we could go for a three bedroom?” Sofia here just talking too damn much “we are having four kids? The fuck? Girl, what is wrong with you?” Sofia screamed out laughing “I love it! You’re becoming so sassy with me, god I love you. You’re my best friend and now you’re becoming just like me” side eyeing her, me sassy, I think not “you’re calling me a female?” I know I’m not that “no, I’m just saying you’re just like me. I mean you just said girl the fuck in the most sassiest way ever, oh my god. My best friend is like me” she is annoying, feeling Sofia press a kiss to my cheek “anyways, before you get all sensitive about it. Four kids? Seriously?” Nodding my head “I mean we can adopt the forth?” The car became ever so silent “adopt?” Sofia repeated “yeah why not? I got time on my hands, I read things. It makes me sad that not many black people adopt, espically our own. I just thought, when we older we can give a child a loving home. Show it love, I would love to change someone’s life” which is true and I am all up for it, totally up for that “Cassius my heart is aching, oh my god. That is so deep, wow. Seriously? What has love done to you?” I grinned “what has your love done to me, I’m a good guy. I try to be. I just want to do good things and I know in my heart. I can love another child, change their life. I know we can do it. It would be nice” if we do get around to doing it “Cassius, that is so sweet. To know you want that and feel that way, my heart” it’s nothing to me, it’s just how I feel.

“Are you on a diet?” Sofia said as I passed the menu to the waiter “erm, no why? I mean I don’t look this fine by being fat now” sitting back “chicken club sandwich and fries? It’s a little less for you, I’m eating more than you” Sofia side eyed me “and that is ok, I want you to gain weight. So like I can hide food in your layers of fat” Sofia put a finger up at me “that won’t happen, you know, I wanted to ask. You was speaking about Mitch and you talking about me. What scares you the most about marriage?” Rubbing my face smiling, Sofia wants marriage. I can tell she does “erm, I just never saw myself married. Actually even kids, I was doing my thing and I said to myself I don’t want that for my kids so I just had women but not girlfriends. Love is such a foreign feeling to me, to feel this. I want to do things for you, I want to give you the world. I ache feeling that I can’t give you that, if I can’t but I can. I want to change, it’s a purpose to this. I just feel marriage, seeing it with my parents it’s nothing, what means most is the people together. But I know that you never had that, you never saw your mom married, the feeing of having two parents, seeing a marriage. You never saw that, I did see some kind of love when I was below the age of ten. But from knowing you, I know you want that. I know you Sofia, it’s something you want, you crave it so who am I to be that and say no? I’m scared yes, I mean if you ain’t scared then it don’t mean shit to you. Trust me baby, trust me. I know you” Sofia put her head down “I watch, I see, I take it in. I’m not stupid. I act it when it pleases me. The best tool I have is to watch the things around me, I did that from a young age. And it’s really difficult for you of course, to know what was real love or not, I know from my sister. She loves my dad, she loves him. He shows it her, it’s one of those things of who showed you. You didn’t know it so how did you know that those guys treating you like shit wasn’t real love? You couldn’t decipher the difference baby, you learn. Everyone learns and I’m learning now how to love, still am but marriage. It’s still scary, but for you. When the timing is right, could be tomorrow, next year, three years. We will” Sofia laughed, tears in her eyes “you’re very in tune with your inner self Cassius” Sofia said before wiping her nose “you make me cry, you right. And it hurts, everything you said, is right” I didn’t want to make her cry “that is all we was talking about, he made me realise, that a big house, kids and married. That’s what you want, I want to give you that. I’m happy when you are happy because you make me happy, it’s about us baby, the two of us” Sofia smiled at me “you think I’m damaged? Like as a person?” She questioned, it’s a very hard question to ask about yourself “your mother damaged you from men, as a person you have a beautiful heart Sofia. Just you didn’t know how to love or how you gained love from a man. The guys you had were stupid, they lost out on you but you were damaged by your mother, she did it to you” Sofia wiped the tears that fell “you’re being so romantic, stop” I had to laugh, I’m just being me.

Sofia and I ate in silence, it was actually nice. Simple but nice, didn’t want too much food “so did your parents show you love? Like at some point?” Sofia broke the silence between us “they did, I was like young as shit though. My dad then soon realised I was a money maker, he could have saved me. I did always say that to him, he could have saved me from that life but he didn’t. But I saw it, I saw what it’s like to have two parents and Sofia, it ain’t nothing that good. So baby don’t think it’s anything different, it was never that because shit went this way. Look how I am, I become some dealer for my family to live but I built on that shit. I ain’t even going to front, I got shit loads of money, I still do have money in Brooklyn. I been doing this since I was fifteen and I had to always have money there, always Sofia. When I got locked away I came out, I had nothing because my people didn’t give shit but I don’t want you to think that having two parents make shit good, it ain’t because I didn’t get the help I wanted. I wanted my dad to say no, I wanted him to say don’t do that but he didn’t so to me back then, I was making my dad proud. It’s good, I mean it’s made me money for now, I got money now. But I am a little stuck on what to do, I am used to that” I shrugged “why do you have money in Brooklyn?” Sofia questioned straight away “coming to Atlanta doesn’t change shit, if anything goes sideways. That is for me, that is if I need someone to get me out, it’s backup money, I have shit set up. Moving away doesn’t stop the fact the police couldn’t come and get me right now, but I am being good for you, trust me” she got to understand coming here doesn’t change shit.

Putting the car in park “I do miss my Range Rover, not saying that your Audi is wack but it’s not a Range Rover” Sofia unbuckled her belt “leave my baby alone, I am so in awe with this neighbourhood Cassius. I mean it’s something I dream about, look at it. It just looks peaceful, and this is the home you picked?” Sofia pointed out, I smiled seeing some oldish guy walk around his car “it is babe, let’s do this” opening the car door, getting out of the car “Mr Warren” the guy walked over to me, closing the car door “that is me” he got his hand out to me “Alex, we spoke on the phone” shaking his hand “we did, this is my partner. Sofia” I pointed at her, the guy walked over to her “Alex, nice to meet you both” locking the car door “shall we see the house?” nodding my head “I am so surprised this home is still here, I was reading that this is the biggest home here?” slowly walking over to him “it is, we have had offers but you kept in contact with me” smiling a little “I am wanting to pay this off fully” Alex smiled, all he is thinking about is money “personally, I want this home now but my girl. She needs to see it, she needs to like it” I would buy anything “that is fine, this property has the most land wise. A garage that fits three cars, but also you have the drive here, so you could actually fit seven cars. That is up to you both” I could have seven cars here, I don’t mind that.

I am tired, like so tired just walking around. I mean Sofia seems impressed, I think she is “I don’t want this kitchen though, Cassius” looking away from the window and at Sofia “what?” she is wanting to change everything “what don’t you like now?” Sofia laughed “it’s not that, I love the house, it’s beautiful but you said I can do what I like inside, I want the kitchen changed, I want it all marble. A big island here, dining table just where you are stood and then a TV just there, kitchen units around this wall. I want a real nice big kitchen. I want to make it like a place where we can sit around also. I know it’s a open planned kitchen and the living room but we have one main one” nodding my head “it’s whatever Sofia, just do what you need too” I have no idea “how many kids you both got?” Alex asked, I paused “erm what? Nah, we ain’t got kids” I laughed it off “oh sorry, just with the how many rooms” I guess he assumed “soon Alex, so I want to close the deal. I can pay for this, just let me know. The paperwork, the name it needs to be under is Sofia Bundy. If you can get that done for me so Sofia can start doing her dream up” the quicker the better “what?” Sofia said in shock “what?” I retorted “what did you say Cassius?” I shrugged “I ain’t say shit, did I say shit?” I pointed at Alex “under my name?” Sofia pointed at herself “baby, we riding. You riding for me, I got you. No matter what, this yours. Like I want to do something good in my life, so please” Sofia crouched down as she sobbed out crying, hands covering her face “bub, why you crying? Sofia, no need to cry babe” she real crying, like someone hurt her. Getting down onto my knees “babe” gabbing onto her arms “I don’t deserve you” she wrapped her arms around my neck “you going to be a homeowner, you good babe” hugging Sofia, I will ride for this woman.

[chimswae]

Chapter 1

Untold ; Tale of a luminary

Foreword: 

Some stories are better left unsaid.I couldn’t change anything for the world, although the fame part of this industry is tough to handle.Do i have a life? Yes I have my fans.Do i have friends? Yes the members that I cherish. Do i have love? No I have to let go.Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. But do i have any tomorrow?

Pairing: Jimin x OC (Other characters: BTS, OCs, Lee Taehwan)

Genre: Idolau, Fluff, Romance

Word Count: 2,146

Author Note: I crosspost this story from my Asianfanfic account. Mind you, clicheness OVERLOADS

Disclaimer: I dont own any of the gif used at the end of chapters. Neither do i own any of the characters, this fic is not related to any of the characters in real life.

1 | 2

Chapter 1: Some secrets cant be kept forever

“Jimin…Are you on Vlive again?” Hoseok sank on the couch beside Jimin. It brought Jimin’s attention to the older boy, he looked breathless probably after a long haul practice that they had today. 

Bangtan’s schedule was hectic ever since their comeback last week, even though they were only doing a one week promotion for Spring Day alongside Not Today.

It was more challenging to wrap up promotion in one week knowing they needed to focus on their Wings tour after this. They were busy promoting new songs at music shows and it didn’t end with that, they still needed to attend meet and greet after each show ended.

Yesterday was their second last fansign in Sincheon. As soon as Music core live broadcast ended, Bangtan went straight to their Sincheon fansign. It was indeed tiring, as it drained their energy. However, the overwhelming support from Army that they received all these years was everything if they were to compare with their fatigue.

Jimin gave Hoseok a playful smile “I saw the comment you left about me. Since Armys are making fuss about it on twitter, I decided to fire you back” he smug.

“NO NO WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW JIMINIE?” Hoseok shrieked dramatically and pulled out his phone. Jimin shoved his wet towel in Hoseok’s face, walking up leaving the guy dumfounded. He approached busy Jungkook who seemed engrossed packing his bottle and wet towel inside his bag pack.

“Kkukkiee~~ When are we leaving?” he stretched a little.

Jungkook looked up at Jimin, while fixing his wet bangs aside “In five minutes, other hyungs are waiting for us at the lobby. We still have one last stage tomorrow then we are off to our tour” he stifled his yawn.

Jimin threw his arm around Jungkook “I will make sure to flirt you during our fansign tomorrow” he teased him while wiggling his eyebrows. He frowned in disagreement as he rose from his seat, leaving Jimin no choice but to pull his head between his arms again.

“You are not doing that. Didn’t you see there are tons of JiKook rumours circulating around?” he eyed Jimin with his not so scary glare.

Jimin shrugged with lips lower lips poked out a little “ I like JiKook. That is what we call a legit fan service. I heard Armys shipped you with everyone, but we are the popular one kkuk ah~~” Jungkook cringed in annoyance disliking the idea of them being a real thing.

“Oh god, don’t you see I am already an adult. I need to appear manly, not turning me into a baby. Your baby” he palmed Jimin’s face, pushing him away from his body. Jungkook walked ahead Jimin exiting the room to find others.

Jimin chuckled playfully “That hurts Jungkook. I thought I am your favourite hyung” he grabbed his stuff on the table and strutted after Jungkook.

Before heading out Jimin called out Hoseok “Hobiee we are going home, quick!”

-------------

Yeoul’s shift ended an hour ago, and she was still wandering in the market doing her grocery shopping. It had become her habit every time she received her wages, she would do grocery shopping for that particular month. That was the least thing she could do, since she stayed with her mother and her five years old son, Minyeoul.

She got pregnant at a very young age, but she was not ashamed of it.  Yeoul would never be ashamed of having Minyeoul at this age. Minyeoul was the fruit of love between two individuals as well as the extension of her life.

Her mother was upset upon finding out the truth behind her pregnancy and she obviously couldn’t accept the fact that her daughter life would turn out that way for having a baby at such young age. But, she never despised Yeoul. Instead, she had become the biggest supporter in Yeoul’s life.  Her mother understood the sacrifice that she made to raise Minyeoul’s alone without a father.

It would be a lie if Yeoul didn’t have the urge to tell the father of his son about Minyeoul’s existence, but she knew it was impossible. Her sanity was still there. She did not want to ruin anyone’s life especially the man that he loved few years ago. He was in no position to be a father just yet. He had a better life, a life that she couldn’t touch.

Yeoul made a sharp turn to the left while pushing the shopping cart grabbing the last item in her list, and headed to the counter. After she paid all the stuffs she bought, she exited the market making her way back home.

She felt a warm presence beside her “Lee Taehwan..Didn’t I warn to stop stalking me?” she raised her eyebrows with a frown. Taehwan’s lips broke into a wide smile as he raised both of his hand in defeat.

“Na Yeoul, do I have to remind you this is my route back to my house?” Yeoul rolled her eyes, nudging his torso with her elbows. Taehwan was definitely taller than her; if people were to compare their size Yeoul was so tiny and small beside him.

Taehwan took the shopping bags from Yeoul, before she could say anything he gave her a meaningful gaze with a nod. Yeoul knew it was a waste of time to fight Taehwan, he was stubborn and wouldn’t listen to her. Therefore, she was immune.

“I thought your shift ended three hours ago? Did you purposely lurk around to walk me home” Yeoul diligently studied his handsome face waiting for answer. She was aware of his feelings for her, but she was not ready to open up to anyone just yet.

Her meeting with Taehwan two years ago was like a fate. If it weren’t for Taehwan, she had no idea if Minyeoul could live his life like a normal child now. So she owed him big time. Despite the confession that he made few months ago, it didn’t put them in awkward situation. Taehwan made it clear that he would wait for her answer until she was ready to accept him.

Yeoul was not pressured but still she felt bad to see him around her without having definite answers from her.  She did not want to get tangle in messy love life again; all she cared at the moment was to raise Minyeoul.

“Aww I think I am falling for you again Yeoul-ah. How did you know my shift ended three hours ago?” he had this cheeky smile on his face teasing Yeoul.

She snickered “Do I have to remind you that you practically tell me everything to the extent when your shift ends every day Mr Lee” she shook her head.

Taehwan used his free hand to pat his chest “Can you hear my fiery heartbeat Yeoul” she smacked his arm cringing over his cheesiness but she laughed it off. She was used to his little tease so she had no complained.

They exchanged stories along the way, making fun of each other and she was no longer tired after the long shift today. It took them 20 minutes of walking to reach her place; Yeoul took the shopping bags from Taehwan and flashed a thank you smile for accompanying her.

“Thank you and you can go home now!” she grinned while hushing him away.

“You are no fun seriously. Fine, see you tomorrow Yeoul” he shot her a playful wink before walking away. She watched his body disappeared in the darkness and made her way inside. To her surprise, her ears were greeted with Minyeoul’s loud cries.

She placed the shopping bags on floor and quickly went to the living room “Minyeoul ah.. why are you crying?” crouching down beside the little boy, she pulled him into a hug.

“Mommy…” he sobbed in her shoulder and his cries got louder.

Yeoul blinked in confusion as she averted her eyes to where her mother sat “After I picked him up from the kindergarten, he was asking me about him” she heard her mother purposely stressed the ‘him’ part.

She flinched uncomfortably “Na Minyeoul… Tell me, why you are crying?” she stroked his cheeks wiping away the tears. Yeoul didn’t take her eyes from Minyeoul even though she feared of what might come out from that kid mouth.

“I miss…daddy” he sobbed softly. Yeoul heaved a heavy sigh as a small smile spread on her mother’s lips. It had been months since they last talked about him, but this bound to happen sooner. Therefore, they were always ready to hear this from him.

Minyeoul rubbed his red nose with his small hand and continue “My friend said daddy doesn’t love me anymore. That is why he doesn’t pick me up at school” he sniffed.

Yeoul softened to see her son cried this hard even though it wasn’t the first time he looked for his father. She had to make up tons of excuses to calm him down back then and it was not easy to lie to your own child.

“Minyeoul.. Your daddy really loves you; didn’t I tell you he’s busy? Remember we watched him together on television. Isn’t he look cool?” she smiled softly, stroking his hair.

Innocent Minyeoul nodded with a pout “But.. you promise to bring me meet daddy. Can I meet him soon?” tears started to well up in his eyes again. She knew he would cry again if she made up more excuses this time.

Even though, it had been five years since they last saw each other Yeoul never missed any day missing him and following his new updates. She was happy to see his success. And, she was not sure bringing Minyeoul meeting him would be a good idea.

She remembered there would be a fansign held tomorrow, before he left the country for an overseas tour. Yeoul had no choice but to promise Minyeoul he would bring him to meet his father tomorrow.

“Will you stop crying if mommy promises to bring you meet daddy tomorrow?” Minyeoul round eyes lit up as he clasped both of his hand together. Her mother gave her a hard stare as she didn’t mean to decide this without her consult.

“We will meet daddy for real tomorrow?” his cute grin melted her heart.

She nodded with a genuine smile “ Yes we will met daddy tomorrow. So Yeoulie want to draw something for daddy? So we can give him the present tomorrow” she tapped his nose softly. Minyeoul jumped while clapping his hand giddily, he then ran into his room leaving with cute giggle.

It was a heavy silence between the two women until her mother broke it with a deep sigh.

“Yeoul-ah, are you sure you are ready to bring Minyeoul to see him?” she gave her daughter a concern look.

As a mother she didn’t want to see her hurting again, Yeoul had gone through a lot of things in life. And, at the age of eighteen she didn’t even have a normal life like a normal girl around her age. She had to take care of her child without a husband.

Yeoul took a seat beside her and took both of her hands in hers “Omma.. Don’t worry, it will be fine. He will not know about Minyeoul. I will find way to tell Minyeoul. We will be seeing him as a fan tomorrow” she was smiling on the outside but her belly twitched in fear.

Years passed since they last saw each other and she was not sure if she had the strength to face him this soon. But, she couldn’t keep on lying to her own son. She didn’t want to tell Minyeoul the truth about him. However a year ago when they were watching his performance together the younger kid was so excited to see him on screen.

Without she realized smart Minyeoul questioned her about his father and it hit her hard. She lied all over again to cover up the truth until that one day she told Minyeoul about him. Ever since then, Minyeoul would watch his performance, his appearance in reality show and she even bought all the albums that he released to distract Minyeoul from asking more questions.

Her mother gave her a light squish with an encouraging smile “You have all my support Yeoul-ah. At least, get that poor boy meets his father. Even though you have to lie to him again because Minyeoul has the right to meet him” she sighed softly.

It seemed like she couldn’t hit the bed early tonight, she had to find information about the fansign and a way to participate it. She never left her hometown and this would be her first time to leave Busan. Yeoul would do anything to keep her son happy even she had through all the troubles.

Next

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2018. All Rights Reserved.

[abracadora-archived]

Blindspot

This small fic was inspired by the #greasykeith movement started by @baeyards. 

Pairings: Keith/Lance

Word Count: 3004

When a cute boy with lots of piercings and the coolest jacket Keith has ever seen walks into the mechanic shop where Keith works, Keith is… really gay. And slightly confused by how friendly said boy seems to be. 

Featuring Mechanic! Keith and Punk! Lance

(Sha/adins don’t interact!!)

Read on AO3 [Although reblogs are appreciated :) ]

The door of the lobby tinkles as someone walks in, bringing in a swoosh of heat from the outside and a burst of noise from the street outside. Keith, in the kitchenette attached to the lobby, ducks his head down and busies himself with the coffee. He briefly considers adding cream or sugar to the dark liquid, and then decides that he can’t be bothered. 

He scurries out of the small room, weaving his way through the lobby. He catches a snippet of the conversation between the lady at the front desk and the man standing in front of it. Keith’s eyes flit to the side and he nods shortly at the lady (he’s pretty sure her name is Lilian). The guy, who’s currently leaning with his arms rested on the top of the desk, is slightly taller than Keith but looks to be around his age, and Keith frowns, because this means that he’s most likely here for some car repairs, and that means that he’ll be going to one of the other mechanics.

Keith goes through the lobby and the lounge and pushes past the door that leads into the actual garage. There, he is met with mechanical sounds of metal clanging and tools squeaking and scraping- all of which is familiar and comfortable to Keith. He sees Rolo, an older coworker of his (that Keith is pretty sure he had a crush on in the first few weeks of working here) with half of his body disappearing underneath a car, and Hunk, a coworker of Keith’s age who is pulling out the dents from a recently crashed SUV. 

Keith goes over to Hunk. 

“How close are you to being done?” he asks. 

Hunk glances up at him and frowns slightly. “Half an hour, maybe? Why?”

“There’s this guy at the front desk,” Keith replies monotonously. “He’ll probably need one of you.” 

Hunk is observant, and he’s probably known Keith long enough to detect the frustration in his voice. He clucks sympathetically, and then takes a look at the coffee in Keith’s hand. “That thing has no cream or sugar in it, I’m assuming.”

 Keith shrugs, and takes a sip of it. Hunk makes a face. 

“How,” he says, before turning back to his work.

Keith leans against the wall, not bothering Hunk as he works, but just lazing in his company. Sometimes Keith wishes that he had been hired as a car mechanic instead of a motorbike one- he knows how to work with cars pretty well- but Keith much prefers bikes to cars. Keith He barely scraped by his actual driving test in high school, and nearly got arrested the last time he tried to properly drive.

Customers that need bike repairs aren’t common as those who need car repairs, for understandable reasons. That leaves Keith, who always needed something to do with his hands, with a lot of impatient and jittery energy.

He bounces his leg up and down as he glances back into the lounge. The guy from before leans against the wall of the lounge. He’s dressed in a dark jacket, one of those with the body made of denim and sleeves made out of leather. 

People don’t usually pull those off, Keith muses. The jacket is dotted with multiple pins, which Keith can’t describe from this distance, but what Keith can see are the multiple piercings that line his ears. Something akin to envy spikes up within Keith.

“Who’s that guy over there?” he says offhandedly. “He looks legit.”

Hunk’s head pops up from behind the car and his eyes follow Keith’s gaze over to the boy in the lounge. Inexplicably, Hunk barks out a laugh.

“Who? Lance?” he asks.

Keith looks back at Hunk with an expression in his eyes like Hunk just said that tomorrow the sun would turn green. “Who the fuck is Lance?” 

“That guy over there.” Hunk ducks back down to the car but continues talking to Keith. “His name’s Lance.” Hunk pats the car and stands up. “He’s a friend of mine. You think he looks legit?”

“Well, I mean.” Keith isn’t sure why he feels flustered. “I like his piercings.”

Hunk clicks his tongue. “Yeah, you would, they’re cool. He has that whole aesthetic going for him, you two could get along. Although-” Hunk pauses, and he eyes Keith outfit. “Your clothes are…a bit less put together than him. And he thinks that fingerless gloves are tacky.”

Keith scowls at him but doesn’t argue. Someone calls his name from near the front building and Keith’s head whips up. The manager of the place stands there with a clipboard in his hands. Keith says bye to Hunk and walks off in that direction, eager for something to do. 

“You have someone here for you,” the manager says when Keith approaches. 

“For me?”

“Well, for his bike. We brought it out back, it’s a basic gas tank repair. He’s in the lounge right now. He’s Lance McClain.”

Keith’s heart jumps, and he wonders why. A gas tank repair isn’t the most interesting, but Keith is itching to use his hands for something. He nods and heads into the lounge.

The burst of cool air when he walks in is almost a relief to him. He rubs the back of his hand against his forehead, rather uselessly, in an attempt to wipe off the sweat, and then looks at Lance.

“Are you Lance?” he asks, even though he already knows.

Lance turns to him with an eyebrow raised. Keith (for some reason) counts exactly four piercings on each ear of his, each pair carrying a different set of earrings. The lowest hanging ones on his earlobes glinted silver, and Keith’s stomach dropped. 

And then Keith notices the stud screwed through the right side of Lance’s lower lip. The realization vaguely feels like someone punching him in the stomach and then releasing butterflies.

Lance snaps his fingers just a bit away from Keith’s face. “Hello? You said my name.”

Keith winces, feeling his face flood with warmth. “I- yeah, sorry.”

Lance peers at him with eyes the colour of the ocean depths. “You good bro?”

“Yeah, I-” Keith fumbles over his words. He never was the best at talking to people, especially not with someone like Lance. “I like your piercings,” he says rather gruffly.

It wasn’t a lie- Keith is hot with envy- but Keith probably isn’t admitting the full truth, even to himself. (At least he’s self aware?)

“Oh.” The corner of Lance’s mouth curls up. “Cool, me too. You’re here to fix my bike.”

Keith clears his throat, quickly redirecting his mind back into business mode. “That’s right. What’s the issue with it?”

Lance lifts one hand up to scratch at the back of his neck, and Keith’s mind supplies, That’s so hot.

Shut up, Keith thinks in response.

“I kind of got into a crash, like, a week ago?” Lance scrunches his nose and Keith feels short of breath. “I punctured my gas tank, I think. I’m pretty sure.”

“Oh. Were you okay?” Keith asks automatically, glad that he can keep a semblance of politeness while his mind feels like it’s short-circuiting.

“Yeah, I just got a bit scraped up,” Lance says in a casual way that Keith can respect. “I haven’t even ridden my bike again.”

Keith nods. “Okay, we can… head to your bike then.”

They leave the building together and Keith tries not to be hyper-aware of Lance’s proximity to him. He scolds himself and tells the back of his mind that he’s being unprofessional and ridiculous.

He finds Lance’s bike pretty quicky since it’s the only one the garage. It’s sleek and looks pretty new, with a black and blue colour theme. 

“Wow,” Keith says, legitimately impressed. 

“It’s a Honda CB500,” Lance says with pride thrumming through his voice, as if Keith doesn’t have three motorcycle catalogs sitting on his desk at home as they speak. “It’s the 2017 model, too.”

“Nice,” Keith says. 

“Thanks,” Lance says genuinely, and the sideways smile he gives Keith makes Keith’s heart want to jump out of his chest. 

“I’m going to take a look at it.” Keith gestures towards the bike and he urges himself to get focused. Repairing motorcycles was something he was familiar with, and he shouldn’t let himself get distracted by some (admittedly cute) guy.

He wheels the motorcycle over to his station and starts to crank it up. He’s vaguely aware of Lance strolling up behind him. Keith forces himself not to glance over, and continues on with his work. 

“So… do you have a bike?” Lance asks. Keith pauses for a moment in the middle of taking out the tools he needs from his toolbox. 

“I don’t,” Keith answers. He goes on with the work; he doesn’t mind the attention, at least not from Lance, but it’s surprising to him that Lance would say anything. “I’m actually trying to save up for one right now. I’ve been interested in them since I was a kid.” That was the sole reason why Keith didn’t have more piercings or any tattoos right now; his desire to not have to walk to work in Miami’s heat and humidity was greater than his desire for an aesthetic, currently. 

“Really?” 

“I had, like, a collection of like 50 toy models when I was a kid,” Keith explains. His hands move, almost by instinct, over the different parts of the bike, making sure to handle everything with care.

Lance makes a noise that could be a laugh. 

“What?” Keith asks. 

“Nothing.” He hears Lance shift behind him. “Just. It’s different from my childhood, I guess. My siblings and I always played those make-believe games.”

Keith hums. By the time he was adopted, Keith’s own brother was already  starting college, so he was never given a chance to do anything of that sort. 

“Is that why you’re a mechanic?” Lance sounds curious, and Keith, for the life of him, doesn’t know why.

“Kind of.” Keith’s tongue pokes out of the side of his mouth as he concentrates- it’s an involuntary habit he developed, probably after a year of working with Hunk. “My older brother’s also a mechanical engineer and was interested in this stuff… I kind of learned from him, too. He’s getting his PhD this year,” Keith adds necessarily, feeling a warm glow of pride for Shiro.

“Cool, tell him congratulations for me.”

From anyone else, Keith thinks, that would have sounded sarcastic, but somehow Lance makes them seem like the most truthful words ever spoken. It’s an odd trait for someone that has spiked rings stuck in his ears. 

“I will.” Then Keith frowns and sets his tools down, turning around on Lance. “Why are you talking to me?”

Lance blinks, clearly offended. “Excuse me?”

“That came out wrong.” Keith resists the urge to massage the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “I mean, you know, customers don’t usually talk to the mechanic while they wait.”

Luckily, Lance doesn’t seem to be angry (Keith usually has no qualms about riling someone up, but it seems unfair to do it so someone as uniquely nice as Lance). He reaches up and tugs at a stray piece of hair that peeks out from the front of his black beanie. Keith’s stomach does a flip.

“I don’t know,” he says, and he almost sounds sheepish. “I was just. Making conversation.” 

“Oh.” Keith feels nonplussed. “Well, you can get coffee and lemonade in the lounge. And like, cookies.”

They stare at each other for a moment, and Keith is sure that neither of them have any clue what exactly is going on right now. 

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Lance holds two fingers up like a salute, and then contorts his face into a look of half-embarrassment, half-confusion. He walks off, leaving Keith also half-embarrassed, half-confused.

With his distraction gone, Keith is able to throw himself fully into his work. He works swiftly but meticulously, and by the time he looks up and realizes that an hour has passed since the manager spoke to him, the gas tank is already fixed. 

He sends a last, longing look towards the bike and then turns around and makes his way towards the lounge. His fingers are sticky with drying grease and dust, so he drags his fingers over the denim of his jeans, thankful that they’re black and will, for the most part, cover up the multiple stains he gets during the work day.

He actually breathes a sigh of relief as the air-conditioned air hits his skin, feeling the sweat on his skin cool instantly. The fans installed in the garage are literally never that useful during the peak of summer. 

“Lance?” he asks, searching with his eyes for that friendly smirk. Keith hopes that he didn’t grow impatient and leave, or they would have to store the bike for him and it would be another hassle. 

“I’m here!” says Lance’s voice, and he comes in through the door from the lobby. “I was having a chat with our lovely receptionist.”

Keith finds it a bit hard to swallow. “Right. I’m done with your bike.”

“Sweet.” Lance looks pleased, so that’s a bonus. “She’s all fixed up?”

“Good as new. They’re taking her to the front right now.” Keith tries for a smile, but he’s realizing that Lance will now leave forever, and for some absurd reason, that’s making him feel down.

“I can’t wait to ride her again,” Lance says mournfully. “It’s been a whole week.”

“I can see you’re attached to her,” Keith says, half-jokingly.

Lance smiles. “I named her Hermosa.”

“Nice,” Keith says, for lack of anything better to say.

“You know,” Lance says after a beat, lowering his ocean-blue gaze to meet Keith’s eyes. “If you’d be interested, I wouldn’t mind taking you on a ride one day.”

Keith’s brain isn’t able to comprehend Lance’s words. “Wait, what?”

Lance takes a step forwards, and the smile on his face transforms into (if Keith isn’t horribly, horribly mistaken) something that he could almost call flirtatious. “I mean, don’t think I didn’t notice that you’ve been flustered around me.”

Is Lance hitting on him? Is that what this is? There isn’t a possible way that Lance can actually be interested in Keith. Keith isn’t exactly the most appealing person in the world, as shown by his stained clothes and slightly matted hair and generally closed off personality. “I- wait, just- what?”

The confident looks falls off Lance���s face faster than Keith can blink. “Please tell me I’m reading that correctly. Holy shit, this is really fucking awkward if I’m not.”

Keith’s mind moves in fast forward, his thought process zipping forward to catch up with the situation that surrounds him. “No!” he splutters, taking a half-step forward. “No, I- I’m pretty sure you’re reading this exactly correctly.”

Lance’s face lights up, which makes Keith’s heart feel like it’s running a sprint in his chest. “Oh, really? I mean-” He clears his throat. “Yeah. Of course. I saw that.”

“I just didn’t assume that you would…” Keith’s voice is rather flimsy and he makes a vague gesture in an attempt to get his point across.

“Think I liked guys?” Lance grins, a whole wide smile with his white teeth showing, and his eyes crinkle up with something like amusement. He points to something on his vest and Keith follows the direction to a pin with the bisexual pride colours, resting over Lance’s heart next to a pin of the Cuban flag.

“Oh,” Keith says faintly. “Obviously I didn’t notice.”

Lance lets out a laugh that’s half a snort, half a giggle. Keith finds that it does inexplicable things to his heart. “Clearly.” His expression, looking nearly shy, and the change in demeanor gives Keith whiplash. “Do you think… maybe we could meet up something? To be clear, go out sometime.” He grins again and gives Keith a small wink of jest.

“Uh.” Keith coughs and curses himself for being so stilted. “Yeah. That’d be great.”

“Awesome.” Lance starts to speak so fast that Keith can barely catch what he’s saying. “I know this amazing Cuban bakery that we can go to. Actually, it’s owned by my aunt so I’m biased, but I promise you that the pastelitos de guayaba there are to die for. I’ll ride you there.” He whips out a Sharpie from his jeans pocket and grabs Keith’s hand, pulling him forward to scribble down a number on his skin. “Don’t forget to save the number before it rubs off.”

“I will,” Keith promises, feeling his cheeks warm up. It’s a good feeling, Keith decides.

“Cool.” Lance’s eyes are bright and Keith feels a faint rush in his chest and something like butterflies hatching in his stomach. “I gotta go pick up my bike, but I guess… I’ll see you around.”

“For sure,” Keith answers, and he tries to press down the oddly nice nervousness that bubbles in his stomach.

Lance squeezes Keith’s hand for a brief moment and then starts to walk away. Before he completely turns away, he looks back and Keith and gives him an impish grin and states, “I hope you plan on wearing cleaner clothes when we next meet.”

Keith glances down at his own grease-spotted shirt and looks back up at Lance, then rolls his eyes. “Yes, Lance, I do.”

Lance laughs, and to Keith it sounds like sunshine. “See you around, Mullet,” he says, and Keith is sure that he imagines the fondness that lies over the teasing nickname. Keith touches his own hair in mock offense and Lance shoots him a last smile before exiting the lounge.

Keith turns back to the garage and resists the urge to sigh like a lovestruck middle-schooler. Before he steps outside, he makes a mental reminder to save the number on his arm in his phone when he gets home, and when that thought brings a fluttery feeling to his stomach, Keith welcomes it.

[kittenwritesstuff]

Color me happy

Fandom: Marvel Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (Maximoff)reader Genres: insecurity, mild angst, super fluff Words: 1.710 Summary: You feel insecure and useless because of your lack of special abilities. Bucky notices it and comforts you - requested by Anonymous

Late evening finds you in the kitchen area, making yourself yet another cup of tea. It’s your pick-me-up drink – green tea with honey and you usually make it when your mood is down.

Which is almost every day lately.

You’re ordinary. And it wouldn’t be that bad if you were surrounded by similar ordinary non-special people. But you, being a Maximoff, are living with a team of skilled, gifted people, the Avengers, which makes you feel like a not needed obstacle at times.

Wanda and Pietro never did anything to make you feel unwanted. When you were at Strucker’s base, during the experiments, you were fairly convinced that you, too, would show a sign of mutation, just as they did.

It turned out that the scepter did not affect you in a way it did your sibling, making you nothing more but a rubbish. Only Wanda’s angry protests resulted in you being kept there. Strucker was ready to get rid of you when an occasion occurred, since you were useless, having manifested no mutation.

You had no idea why you failed at it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Wanda and Pietro were twins, maybe it was because they were older. Nobody knew.

And since the day the Avengers came and destroyed the base you were only proven that you were only Wanda’s and Pietro’s sister and only because of it they allowed you to live with at the compound.

Sure, you were clever and sometimes helpful, especially during an emergency rescue missions when everything had to be settled immediately, within a few minutes. You knew how to stay focused and organized and there were times when Tony didn’t even touch anything because you had everything handled within seconds.

Still, you were not irreplaceable. If you left, they would surely do well without you.

Heaving out a sigh, you take the cup and make to the living area. You plan on watching a comedy or something of that sorts, in hopes that it will cheer you up.

You have the entire place to yourself – the rest is on the mission. Only Bucky, Steve’s friend, was left at the compound. Usually, the two of you would just mind one another’s business, even while being in the same room; sometimes you’d spent hours on talking. You wouldn’t call it friendship but you enjoyed being around him. He was quiet, but once he opened his mouth,  you could be sure he’d throw a joke here and there or tell you something he had recalled about 40s.

But today you want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to anybody, don’t want to see anyone, just you and your tea. And maybe a movie.

Once you reach the living area, you carefully place the cup on the table and reach for the remote while making yourself comfortable on the couch. You curl up in the couch’s end, your knees almost touching your chin. You are aware that you look miserable but it’s not like anyone will notice. Maybe Wanda, if she was here, would sense that you were upset.

Shuffling through the channels you have yet to find anything interesting and because of the noise the TV makes you don’t hear Bucky entering the place. You notice his presence only when he lets out a small huff while sitting down.

You jerk your head, quite startled and Bucky smiles softly.

“Sorry, Y/N, didn’t want to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” you say, shrugging and turn your attention to the screen. Finally, you find a Friends marathon and decide to watch it.

Frankly, you don’t pay too much attention to what is happening in the show. You just stare at the screen blindly, your mind occupied with the thoughts of being in the way, of being unneeded and useless.

You tug on sleeves of your sweater. It’s oversized, so you’re able to cover your entire palms, which you do, hugging your legs to your chest. You don’t see it but Bucky’s glancing at you every now and then, he’s face concerned. Yes, he noticed that you were out of sorts pretty often but usually a bit of jesting would make you smile and you were always up for a conversation. But not today. Today you seem oddly detached, unsure and utterly sad.

“Y/N,” he calls your name quietly, not wanting to prod too much. You don’t seem to hear it so he calls again, a bit louder this time.

“Hm?” you absentmindedly answer, not even looking at him and Bucky shifts a bit closer.

“I’m wearing Sam’s boxers.”

“That’s cool,” you say emotionlessly, like a robot and for a moment Bucky fears that something really bad happened to you. You sound almost like him while he was under HYDRA’s control.  

“Y/N, can you look at me?”

“No, I’m busy. I’m watching the show.”

“Commercial break is on right now,” he states and you blink. When did it happen?

“Oh,” you pant and turn your gaze at him. Was he so close before or you didn’t even notice when he scooted closer?

“You okay?” he inquires, his voice soft, his eyes sympathetic and you find yourself unable to bottle it up any longer.

“No, Bucky. What am I even doing here?” you whine, tears filling your eyes and you bite at your lower lip to prevent them from falling.

“Right now we’re sitting in a dark room, watching ice cream commercial. But that’s not what you meant, is it?”

You shake your head and sniffle. Bucky reaches to the table to give you a tissue box before you start crying. You can’t hold it back anymore – the insecurities you kept hidden have clawed their way out and you can’t do much about it now.

“I’m useless,” you stutter between cries and Bucky knits his brows, a look of disbelief clear on his face.

“That’s bullshit, doll.”

“No, Bucky. I don’t do anything here. There’s nothing special about me.”

“You’re wrong, Y/N.”

“I’m not. I’m just a girl who’s here because my sister can do stuff with her mind and my brother runs super fast.”

“Maybe that’s what special about you, okay? That you didn’t let the scepter change you?”

“Bucky, that doesn’t make sense,” you protest as you wipe at your cheeks and Bucky smirks.

“No, it does. Just hear me out. You’re so wonderful and strong inside that the scepter couldn’t break you.”

You frown, not really following his logic. Is he really suggesting that you sibling was too weak to fight back the scepter’s power but you succeeded? How could he even think of it that way?

“Look, the only special person around here is Thor. He’s a God, like a legit, real God, but the rest? We’re all just a bunch of people who were given a serum or something. Tony’s a genius, nothing very special about it –“ you snort and Bucky gives you an amused look. “- Sam’s got his wings but without them he’s just a regular guys. Nat was trained since young to be an assassin. Steve and I got a super-soldier juice. Bruce, well… Bruce is, uhm, different.”

“He’s a green mountain of rage,” you say, your voice playful and Bucky cracks a grin.

“If you put it this way… But you know what I mean? You’re the most special from all of us. You wanna know why?”

“Yeah.”

“Because even though you don’t have ‘super powers’ you put up with all this madness which is living with us and without a word of comply you give your time to bake us cookies or read Clint a book when he’s beefing that he’s so very tired after a mission. You listen to my rumbling. You always say good stuff about Steve’s sketches. Nat told me that you’re best when it comes to picking an outfit for a night out.”

“No, I’m not,” you try to protest but Bucky taps your nose which makes you wrinkle it.

“Don’t downgrade yourself, doll. We’d be lost without you, really. I know I would!” he assures and cup your cheeks, suddenly feeling bashful. You never looked at it the way Bucky just presented. To you, it seemed your presence was bothering everyone and they were nice only out of courtesy.

“I’m really that important?”

“Hell yes! Remember when you told Tony he should turn the project upside down to look for faults? He actually ended up making it that way because it was better. And he stated, out loud and in front of witnesses, that you’re smarter than him.”

“Shut up, Bucky.”

“Do I see a blush there?” he teases and you hide your face in your hands to cover it. He damn sure saw you blushing very clearly.

“Y/N, doll, please, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you mumble from behind your hands and Bucky chuckles airily as he reaches to uncover your face. You shiver slightly at the contrast of temperature of his hands but it’s not unpleasant. You always found it fascinating.

“That’s better,” he says and smiles brightly when you look at him, your hands squeezed in his. It’s hard to not smile while Bucky’s face is lit up and so you do, readily throwing yourself in his embrace when he opens his arms for you.

He quickly scoops you up his lap, his arms wrapped around your frame, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your back. You feel so at easy, so peaceful that you nuzzle your face into his neck, almost melting into him.

He doesn’t seem to mind, his arms tightening slightly around you. You sigh contently, closing your eyes as Bucky tilts his head to press a quick kiss to your forehead.

Paradoxically, the man who was the most distant and quiet, was the one to pick you up and help you look at yourself in a totally new light. And with a newly gained confidence about yourself you decide to say something you buried so deep that even your sister couldn’t find it.

“I like you, Bucky,” you state simply and you feel Buck’s lips curl up in a smile.

“I like you, too, Y/N.”

And simple as that, your previously grey, shadowy world begins to fill with colors again.  

[girls-scenarios]

May I request group prompt #7 with Blackpink for the Halloween thing pls? Thank you. ♡_♡

BlackPink / Halloween Prompt

7. A group of mythical creatures go out and have fun Halloween night while trying to blend in with the humans.

Send me a prompt and a group/ship and I’ll write a drabble

Admin Kiwi

“You think they’ll notice?” Jennie poked at her fangs with her index finger as she got out of Jisoo’s car, wrinkling her nose a bit. In front of her, Lisa flipped her long hair over her shoulder and shook her head.

“No, I think you’ll be fine. Everyone goes as a vampire for Halloween. If anyone will get us noticed, its Rosé. She keeps moving her wings even though I don’t think humans can move their fake ones.” Rosé shut the passenger seat door and looked back at her wings.

“Telling a fairy not to move her wings is like telling a dog not to wag its tail,” she said, squaring her shoulders and tilting her head up slightly. “It’s just sad.” Jisoo locked her car and walked around to join the three of them on the sidewalk, shaking her head slowly.

“Let’s not argue, guys. Lisa, Rosé can’t hide her wings as easily as you hide your ears. Plus, it’s Halloween, I think everyone will be too drunk to care.” Lisa tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Well, a lot of people go as elves as well. So they wont look weird.” Rosé stretched her wings out behind her and grinned.

“It just feels so good not to have to hide everything. I love Halloween.” Jennie moved closer to Jisoo as they walked towards the club.

“Yours is so easy to hide. You’re so lucky to be a siren.” Jisoo shrugged her shoulders.

“I mean, it comes in handy when blending in but sometimes I sing in the shower and people come knocking on my door and it’s just super weird.” Lisa rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around the two girls, grinning widely.

“Let’s stop worrying and go have some fun and hang out with some humans!”

The bar was extremely crowded, full of people with crappy costumes and glasses full of alcohol. The music was playing loudly, and Lisa winced a bit at the loud sound. Jennie wrinkled her nose again.

“It’s so sweaty,” she said under her breath. Rosé nudged her forward.

“You’re the only one who can smell that. I want to get something to drink.” Jisoo grabbed her arm.

“Don’t get too drunk or you’ll end up making somebody fly again. Remember last Halloween?” Rosé waved her hand dismissively.

“I’ll do my best,” she said, elbowing her way through the crowd and up to the bar. Lisa dove in behind her, telling her to wait up, and Jisoo sighed, looked over at Jennie, who still had a look of disgust on her face.

“Keep making that face and people will think weird things about you,” Jisoo told her. Jennie immediately tried to smooth out her face.

“It’s just…. Everyone has so much alcohol in them and it’s so sweaty. I hate clubs.”

“Then why don’t you say that before we get here?” Jennie shrugged her shoulders.

“I just always hope that they get better when we move to a new place.” Jisoo winced.

“Don’t jinx us, okay? Tonight, no mistakes. I like it here.” Jennie nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by another girl who bumped into them, laughing loudly.

“Woah! Girl, your vampire costume is legit. Look at those teeth!” She pointed with the hand not holding her drink, and her friends gathered around, gazing with awe at Jennie. She looked nervously back at Jisoo before smiling sheepishly and rubbing her neck.

“I just, uh, really like vampires. I guess I’ve perfected the look over the years.” The girl laughed again, loudly.

“I love it. So are you, like, goth or something?” Jennie had no idea what goth even meant. She nodded her head anyway. “I knew it. You guys always look so legit. I love it!” Another song started playing and she yelled. “This is my song, I gotta go.” Just as fast as she’d come, she was gone, disappearing into the thick crowd of people. Jennie looked back at Jisoo again, who was trying not to laugh.

“I almost died, that wasn’t funny.” Jisoo grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the dance floor.

“Don’t be so uptight and they’ll never notice. Come on, let’s dance.” Jennie let herself be pulled onto the dance floor, and told herself that Jisoo was right. Why not let loose a bit tonight?

At the bar, Rosé downed another shot and Lisa followed suit, making a face and slamming the glass down on the table. Around them, people were chanting and they were joined at the table by some other people they’d never met, but everyone was drunk and nobody really cared about the fact that they were strangers. Nobody cared to ask why her wings were twitching or why she had glitter-freckles across her nose.

“How many more can you do?” A man asked, leaning across the table, challenging Rosé. She grinned at him, already tipsy and ready to take him on.

“I can go all night, buddy. Think you can keep up?” He puffed out his chest and picked up his glass, raising it in the air.

“Another round of shots here!”

They both downed the shots and hissed at the taste. Rosé wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and glared at the man, who looked like the last shot had left him burning from the inside out.

“Wimping out already?” She asked, already reaching for the next shot. He coughed.

“I don’t even want to know what was in that shot. That was enough to make me fly.” Rosé laughed, and Lisa began slowly backing away from the table.

“Oh no, silly. That’s not enough to make you fly. This is though.” As Rosé leaned over to press her finger to the man’s forehead, Lisa bolted, tripping through the throngs of people as she looked around for Jennie and Jisoo. Behind her, she could hear people gasping and screaming, and Rosé laughing even louder. In front of her, she saw Jennie and Jisoo on the dance floor. Jisoo had her mouth open. She had started to sing without realizing it.

“Jisoo, no, don’t sing,” Jennie hissed, grabbing on to Jisoo’s shoulders. It was too late. By the time she realized what she was doing and snapped her mouth shut, the circle of people around them had started to get denser, everyone walking towards Jisoo. Lisa bulldozed her way through the people to grab Jennie and Jisoo by their wrists and yank them towards the doors. Rosé met them there, still laughing.

“What were you thinking?” Lisa asked, eyes wide. Rosé shrugged.

“I got bored. I was obviously going to win. Fairies have a really high alcohol tolerance.” The noise in the bar increased, and a stampede of dazed dancers and scared drunks came tumbling out of the doors.

“Shit. Run.” Jisoo grabbed the keys from her pocket and the four started at a dead run for the car only a block away.

They all tumbled inside with only seconds to spare, and Jisoo sped away without waiting for anyone to put on a seat belt. Lisa slumped into the backseat, breathing heavily, and slowly, she grinned.

“That was awesome.”