#but kinda yes! i had to take the calculator out for this one lmao but yeah in the au april is around nearing the end of her twenties the
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turrondeluxe · 2 years ago
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I love how you draw April, she still looks like an older woman, but she seems more… refreshed. (is she like in her late 50 in the last ronin? I suppose this makes her in her early 60 in your au?) Guess the stress of Hiroto's existence is slowly withdrawing from her not-so-old bones :)
thank you!!! she is indeed called grammy april after all!
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specialgradefckr · 5 months ago
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Heatwave has me on a chokehold.
like fuck. No autonomy for reader fr and it's so deliciously and wrenchingly fucked up for them to present the illusion of free will via limited options even if at the end, they're the ones with the leash, the one in control, regardless of the option you chose.
And I love the difference between Gojo and Geto with Gojo wanting for reader to accept whatever they offer but Geto not really caring if reader really accepts (wants) as long as he provides and takes care of reader (even if against their will) and can very much so resort to forceful means (the tube feeder ((that shit has me like😶, like damn, as long as reader eats lmao)).)
The way you write the humiliation for reader with all the times they forced them to wet themself feels real fr. That shit is literally picking at their self-esteem, and the constant unwanted reaffirmation that it's natural and it's fine is so not doing any good at all to her pysche.
Ngl I wanna see reader after the panic attack breaking and turn into a hollow shell fr. One that do still talks, entertains and obeys but one that's just hollow. Half-hearted at best and empty at worse because they're gearing for the worse (the abandonment. the pain, left behind all tied up and with no control over her body. They've turned her into someone who can't even feel like they're capable of making choices on their own anymore). Just for the angst and a little (okay maybe big) karma for what they've done🥰
Wonderful writing! Hope to see more jjk with stsg (esp satoru) and If you don't mind, make a little insight to their pov?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the fic! hearing this makes me feel really great about writing this, because it's like!
yes!! PRECISELY!! SO REAL SO TRUE!!! the message has come across, the fic gave you exactly the feelings i had when i was making it!! it makes me feel like i successfully conveyed,, The Vision,,,
honestly it started out as horny and it was supposed to have heat sex later on but then when i got into the forced piss stuff it got. sooo psychological.
in the back of my mind i kinda knew it was getting off track but it was getting SO GOOD. i loved writing about. conditioning, psychological warfare, the loss of control and how people deal with it.
jjk itself is pretty brutally realistic with the consequences of the bad things that happen in the series, and i love realistic dark content.
you try a hunger strike? geto deals with it. you do not refuse food again. they are yanderes and they are not afraid to make this very ugly and very uncomfortable for you. they'll do it sometimes even if you DO cooperate.
gojo is truly the essence of a puppy dog. he loves you sooo sososo much and maybe he'll throw a fit but he's not the calculated tactician geto can be. geto's got goals. gojo's just happy to be here.
the panic attack/breakdown kinda just came out when i was trying to write you going into heat.
it was supposed to be this stockholm syndrome moment where you're like "oh at least they won't leave me" but then i started getting into. well.
they did leave you once, didn't they? and at every moment they remind you, sometimes in the most humiliating ways, that you DO NOT control what they do or how they treat you.
so now you're enduring psychological warfare from your own psyche where you're wrestling with the idea of getting impregnated because:
you don't want to be pregnant
but if you DID get pregnant, then they would HAVE to stay with you, right?
but you don't WANT them to stay with you. you hate them, right? if they left you'd like that because you don't WANT them around.
but what if they wouldn't stay with you anyways? you can't make them do anything.
actually you can't even control that so why worry haha. they're going to get you pregnant if they want to, they'll leave you if they want to, and you can't do anything about it.
just the absolute war zone in your head as every thought clashes with all the others. the natural consequences of the stuff you've been through since the beginning of the fic, all trickling down into one moment.
*extremely quietly* okay don't tell anyone bc it's annoying when people JUST say "can't wait for part 2" and nothing else, like.
what did you like so much? what would you hope to see expanded on? many writers would love to hear this in a comment, but instead they just get "part 2 please" and it feels like a demand.
i know it comes from a place of appreciation but it's not encouraging when that's all someone has to say about your work.
THAT BEING SAID...
there WAS actually more to that fic. i kept writing after where it ends. it switches to geto's POV and him and gojo freaking out, trying to calm you down and figure out what happened and how to fix it.
i realized that this oneshot would turn into a huge monster of a fic if i let it keep going, and i had a really good stopping point already with the reader in the midst of their breakdown, so i cut it there and posted so i could start writing for the next prompt (which i'm also super enjoying!).
if i DO any kind of part 2 or companion piece for ANY of the heatwave fics, it'll be that one.
i'm not sure how i want it to go, though. it'd be easier to write the shell of a reader from gojo/geto's POV, but i like keeping things primarily in the reader's POV. i also don't like to stick to one mood, especially not some boring doom and gloom suffering stuff.
i'll need someone to do something drastic in the follow up. maybe gojo? he's got to get something out of you somehow. and we all know what a freak he is, the fuck is he gonna get up to, hmmm...
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punkeccentricenigma · 1 year ago
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DONATELLO X READER "a Night Ride"
Relationship status: Romantic Reader prounouns: She/Her Words: 2739 TW: Slight angst (I guess? I'm not sure), Some grammatical errors because english is not my first language. Author's note: Yooo, this is my first time writing a oneshot in the last few years, i'm kinda proud of it, lmao. Anyway, enjoy.
.⋆。⋆˚。⋆。˚。⋆. .⋆。⋆˚。⋆。˚。⋆.
The pale moonlight slightly illuminated the sky above, much like New York itself, adding to the charm of the colorful lights that refused to fade despite the late hour of the night.
The Turtle Tank gracefully maneuvered through the uncrowded streets, its loud engine echoing around, serving as an unspoken warning to pedestrians to watch their step when crossing the road. Two people were inside the vehicle: Donatello, who else? He usually didn't allow his brothers to take the tank without him because he knew how chaotic they could be and how they might destroy everything in their path. The only exception was when April needed help with Mayhem, and as a reward, she offered pizza. That's when Raph took the Turtle Tank. He didn't cause much damage to the vehicle's body, so the purple genius spared him a strong reprimand. This time.
The other person was [Y.N], another human acquaintance of the turtles. Why was she there? And at this hour? Well...
"I can't believe I had to pick you up at this hour because some guy stood you up!" Yes, that was the reason. You see, [Y.N] had a date scheduled for tonight with a guy from her school, which was supposed to take place at a restaurant on the other side of New York. She wasn't a fan of such fancy outings, but the excitement of the meeting had gotten to her, and that's how it ended up. She had waited for a few hours for the no-show date instead of going straight to her apartment and crying into her pillow. At least then, she would have had a slight chance of catching a taxi and not having to call Donatello, who was clearly annoyed. Tough luck.
"I'm not a fan of such vocabulary, oh, who am I kidding? I am, so I'll say it: Didn't I tell you!?" The purple enthusiast began waving his hands during his monologue, trying to express his emotions somehow. Right, Donnie had warned the teenager, and not just once. If she had to say anything now, she'd confess it lasted a whole week.
"[Y.N], going on a date with such a normie won't end well," Soft-shell casually declared, appearing out of nowhere in the kitchen. Well, maybe not 'nowhere,' as it was their base's kitchen, so he had every right to be there - but no one expected the turtle to emerge from his workshop.
The teenager had a puzzled look as she nibbled on one of the sandwiches she and Leo had made for their movie night. "Why?" She didn't want to dismiss Donatello; she knew he genuinely cared about her and was trying his best to help despite his quirks, but this was already the fourth 'rational' argument this week! "He's not Dale, so nothing more annoying can happen!"
"Sorry, but I disagree," his robotic arms unfolded a whiteboard with potential threat assessments or risky behaviors. [Y.N]'s eyes flattened to read the small font; was that Helvetica? "According to my calculations, the chance that this guy is not suitable for you is precisely 76.43 percent. Of course, this number didn't come out of thin air. It's based on a series of algorithms and data analyses I conduct every day. I take into account factors like communication and conflict resolution skills, emotional availability, attachment style, and even past behaviors. It's quite a sophisticated model, if I may say so." The science enthusiast's proud smile said it all.
"Wow."
"My calculations are always reliable, sure, sometimes I make mistakes, but not in matters like these!" It wasn't entirely true. Matters of the heart weren't Donatello's strong suit, which often led to friction between him and his family. Heck, even Doctor Delicate Touch had to help him when Shelldon went through his rebellious phase! But when it came to someone as close as [Y.N]? He didn't want to be wrong.
The girl bit her cheek from the inside, tilting slightly to the side as the turtle turned left again. Her eyes occasionally tracked the new streetlamp, trying to gather her thoughts.
"Don't tell me you're showing her that board," a red-slider turtle peeked out from behind the whiteboard. "Yeah, you're showing her." His eyes didn't express surprise, more like indifference to his righteousness.
Donatello rolled his black eyes, tucking the presentation back into his battle shell as Leonardo sidestepped him gracefully, grabbing a plate full of sandwiches. His gaze settled on the teenager, who had her back turned to him and was slightly bent over.
"You were snacking, weren't you?" [Y.N] twitched slightly at her friend's keen observation. She slowly turned her head towards Leo, her smile seeming somewhat embarrassed.
"No?"
"Spots around your mouth from mustard say something else," Leonardo pointed out, pointing with his finger. The embarrassed teenager chuckled softly, feeling her posture slightly break.
"Okay, you caught me!" Despite being in despair, her voice also conveyed false drama. "But what can I do when you make such awesome sandwiches?? You guys live in the sewers, after all!" Donnie chuckled quietly to himself, knowing where his friend picked up these habits. It might not be a matter of great pride, but it made an impression. "Well, give me another one!" Before anyone could react, the girl practically lunged at Leo to reach the plate of food he had deliberately moved away from himself.
"Nuh-uh, because there won't be enough for the others." He easily comically pushed his friend away and headed towards the exit, winking at his brother in passing. Donatello rolled his eyes, knowing what was going on. He wasn't happy about it, but there was nothing he could do about his (not) twin's foolishness, or at least he didn't want a repeat of the last time he meddled in his brothers' affairs.
Finally, his dark eyes settled on the girl, who chuckled with a smile. She wanted to wipe her face with the sleeve of her hoodie, but the mechanical hand had her wrist in its grip. "Huh?"
"Didn't your mom teach you good manners?" Donnie approached her, taking a single sheet of paper towel from the red kitchen countertop nearby.
"I repeat, you guys live in the sewers, so what I wanted to do is the least of your worries." [Y.N] laughed, trying in vain to free her hand from the scientist's robotic grasp. "Can you let me go, Dr. Octopus?"
When she attempted to jerk her wrist again, Donatello began gently wiping her lips with the paper towel in a slow, deliberate motion, getting narrowed pupils in response. The boy didn't have the courage to look into her eyes, despite the brave activity he was currently engaged in, especially when his thumb lingered at the corner of her mouth for a second longer than it should have.
Once he finished wiping, he took the paper and stepped back slightly, realizing what he had done. When they both locked eyes, warmth flooded their cheeks, and the shock added to the turtle's expression. It was clear who was more in control of their emotions here, hm?
The boy coughed abruptly, averted his gaze, and straightened up - he didn't even notice when he had been slouching. "Living in the sewers doesn't compromise my hygiene," he commented a bit too loudly, feeling his voice crack with each word. "I'd say it's Leo who's more likely to." He chuckled slightly, and the girl joined in. "Well, anyway! Movie marathon coming up, so, see you in a few minutes??" Since when was he feeling so hot?? "See you!" He finally shouted, panicking and fleeing the kitchen.
[Y.N] chuckled with a smile, covering the lower part of her face.
[Y.N] sighed shakily, covering the lower part of her face.
"Oh, for Newton's sake, I feel like punching someone! ... Is this how Raph usually feels when he looks at us?" The red light appeared on the traffic signal, reflecting off the dark Turtle Tank's body. When the boy stopped the vehicle for a moment, he heard quiet sobbing. Confused, he looked to the side and saw [Y.N], who had started crying uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry."
The turtle's eyes widened. Her voice seemed to slowly shatter like transparent glass between each tear drop, and her posture was completely destroyed as she bent in half on the soft seat, completely covering her face.
Donatello glanced out of the corner of his eye at the front windshield, wanting to check if the light had changed - it was still red, so he immediately got up and approached the girl, squatting by the seat. He didn't handle his emotions well, especially someone else's, but he felt a pang in the depths of his heart that he wanted to get rid of. With a slight hesitation, he placed his three-fingered hand on her back, gently moving it up and down - Splinter, and then Raphael often did this to comfort the science enthusiast when he struggled with something.
"I should have listened to you," the teenager began, "It was a mistake to hope for a good time with that person." The boy felt terrible. Yes, he had wanted to help her understand her mistake at the time, but he still hoped that despite his unpredictable intellect, he was wrong. "God, I just want to hide in my room and never come out."
"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." Her eyes peeked out from behind her fingers. Donnie's eyebrows furrowed seeing [Y.N]'s bloodshot and red eyes. "Who would have thought he wouldn't show up after all?"
"You," she sighed heavily, straightening up. Her expression conveyed sorrow. "Your calculations turned out somewhat effective."
Donatello looked at her with empathy, trying to find the right words that could comfort her. He gently raised his hand and lightly tapped her shoulder, trying to convey support.
"Science... doesn't always get it right." [Y.N]'s eyes widened at his words. Why did he think that way? Science was practically one of Donnie's defining characteristics, it was unthinkable. Sure, Leo or Mikey might say that, but not him, not her genius acquaintance who would want to rule the world! [Y.N] was now certain that something was going on deep within him.
"What are you saying?" Her voice wasn't supposed to sound less casual, slightly mocking, but she couldn't help it. "Science doesn't get it right? That's so... illogical of you!"
Her eyes met his dark ones again, expressing strong uncertainty and... enchantment, quite enchantment. His face was perfectly illuminated by the city lights, causing a slight blush of astonishment on the teenager's face.
"Science doesn't always have it right," he repeated and stood upright. His fists were tightly clenched, and his posture was rigid. "And I'll prove it to you."
"How?"
His mouth opened for a second, but he closed it again, momentarily struggling with whether to confess one thing, but now there was no turning back, he had to do it. 'Calm down, Donatello, calm down...'
"When I calculated our 'compatibility,' the result came out excessively negative..." he began, trying with all his might not to take his eyes off the young girl. He didn't want his friend to think he was weird! Although, could there be anything weirder than a teenage mutant ninja turtle with a high IQ? "But... but I feel something else."
'Wait, he calculated our compatibility?' [Y.N] repeated in her thoughts, trying to understand the meaning of those words as quickly as possible. Compatibility. Compatibility... the teenager's blush deepened. 'Is he into me...?!'
She was snapped out of her thoughts by a touch. She felt the boy grab her hands in his, gently squeezing them.
"Numbers don't make sense in this situation," he began. "So... will you go on a date with me?" His voice seemed uncertain, not in terms of his words but about himself. As mentioned earlier, he was a mutated ninja turtle; what chance did he have? But for some time now, he couldn't resist the growing feelings for [Y.N], who, as one of the few, had gotten close to him and understood him. He knew how annoying he could be with his habits, strong sarcasm, or introverted nature, but it didn't bother her, at least most of the time, and he really appreciated that.
The silence stretched on infinitely, causing even greater nervousness on Donatello's part.
"... I've only just been dumped by one guy."
"Oh, right!" Donnie looked startled, like a deer in headlights. Yes, what an idiot! He should have thought this through, or at least used less direct words! How does it look now? "I'm sorry, this was inappropriate; we can forg--!"
"But I'll go." Another silence.
"..."
"..."
"What?"
"Well, you know, let's wait a week for today's emotions to settle," she smoothly took his wrists in her hands. Her smile, despite the slight nervousness of the situation, radiated a pleasant feeling, full of strange comfort, as if not judging him at all. "But after that, I'd be happy to go on a date with you."
Donatello seemed... disconnected. A million thoughts swirled in his mind. Was this real?
"Donnie?" He blinked a few times and looked at the person in front of him again. After a brief moment, he smiled, tilting his head slightly.
"Thanks." That's all he said, and the traffic light turned green. Without waiting, he took the driver's seat and drove on.
"So, on our date, maybe we can watch something? Like... Oppeinhamer?"
"Oh, you know me so well!"
Bonus:
"I'm in position, Tails," the nonchalant voice of the red-slider turtle was audible through a small communication device. [Y.N] chuckled softly, watching out of the corner of her eye as Donatello, with a grimace on his face, sat down next to her on the edge of the residential building's roof.
"My code name is 'Shadow,' Leo!" The turtle sighed heavily, furrowing his brows. "And no, it's not a reference to Sonic!"
"You can't fool me," Leonardo laughed, leaning out from behind the building's wall, sticking his tongue out in the same direction where the pair is.
"Be quiet, Bluey," this time [Y.N] spoke up, bringing the communicator closer to her lips. Seeing the gloomy expression on Leo's face instead of his usual smile, the pair burst into mocking giggles.
"Yeah, yeah, keep making fun of the fact that I watched that show at 3 in the morning." The teenager muttered quietly, resting his weapon on his shoulder. "If you couldn't sleep, you'd watch it too!"
Donatello rolled his eyes, accompanied by his rare smile, and discreetly took the girl's hand. Meanwhile, [Y.N] gently rested her head on his shoulder, giggling again.
"Wasn't your code name 'Purple Knight' by any chance?" She asked, lightly moving her feet.
"It was, but you know, most changes are good, and I'm getting older, so it's natural that I change my nickname~."
The girl raised one eyebrow slightly, adjusting her position a bit to look at Donnie. He met her gaze, which weakened after a moment, and a hint of embarrassment appeared on his forehead.
"FINE, maybe it is a reference to Sonic!" He declared loudly, gesturing. "I've been catching up on Sonic Prime lately; you can't blame me!"
[Y.N] burst into laughter, hugging the boy. For the first few seconds, his body stiffened, but after a while, he put his arm around her. However, out of the corner of his eye, Donatello noticed someone walking on the sidewalk.
"It is Shadow. Bluey, stay alert, the target is approaching," he said through the headset, putting on his special goggles.
"Mhm."
The target was the same boy who had stood [Y.N] up a few weeks earlier on the day of their almost date. Yes, it was Donatello's idea, wanting to seek revenge for his almost-partner.
"Now, Bluey!"
Leonardo leaped out from behind the wall, right in front of the unsuspecting boy who needed a few seconds to grasp the situation.
"Hey, buddy, how's life treating you?" The turtle asked with a malicious grin.
"A talking turtle?!"
"One who happens to be an awesome ninja!" He chuckled, swinging his sword. After a brief moment, a bright blue portal appeared beneath the teenager.
His scream lasted only a nanosecond as he disappeared into the blue void, eliciting laughter from Leonardo. "Have a nice trip to New Jersey~!"
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supernaturallyliterate · 10 months ago
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PJO SEASON FINALE AHHHH
THOUGHTS. YES THOSE.
Spoilers. Duh. Book and show
Annabeth being there to witness the moment Luke tried to kill Percy is a FUCKING GAME CHANGER. To me, it says that Annabeth suspected Luke & made a plan to make both Percy and Luke think that she would be with Clarisse. When she intended to follow them and protect Percy if need be.
I’m not mad about it. It’s a big change. But it makes sense for her character. It will make her and Luke’s dynamic later in the series a little different. Maybe instead of Annabeth blindly wanting to believe that Luke is good and couldn’t possibly do evil things, it will be more nuanced. She knows he’s done horrible things. She’s seen it. But she still can’t help but remember who he used to be. She hesitates in key moments. Let’s him get away. He takes advantage of those moments and escapes. Not intentional on Annabeth’s part. She tries to be calculated. But her emotions get the better of her. I can see this working out quite nicely.
And it still allows her to be the one at the end, in heroes of Olympus, to be there, advocating for Luke. Telling Percy to give him the knife. OH THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.
Okay but Walker Scobell is such a good fucking Percy Jackson
Leah Jeffry Savies is such. Good fucking Annabeth Chase.
And aryan is such a good fucking Grover Underwood.
Okay but the searchers license being a literal flower?? How are you gonna convince me that Grover wouldn’t anxiously eat it like he does tin cans??
OKAY BUT ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED REWATCHING EPISODE ONE instead of episode eight and LUKE DOES THE VOICEOVER. THE ICONIC SO YOURE A HALFBLOOD SPEECH. BUT CHANGED. AND OHHH ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. THE PARALLELS ARE PARALLELING
I am so so fucking glad that we got the sword fight training scenes. We really needed them. The scene shifts of Percy fighting Ares and Percy training with Luke are spot on. And it sets up the friendship and mentorship with Luke & Percy even more. Making the betrayal so much worse. It build up perfectly.
Gods I wish we had a longer season.
Again with things being directly told to Percy. “You’re a leader among the halfbloods now,” Chiron tells him.
The bead at the end of the season when he’s leaving camp
THE PACT THE TRIO MAKES
And the fact that next year, all FOUR of them will return to that spot. Percy, Annabeth, Grover… and Thalia.
Annabeth’s hairstyle in the final scene was supers cute
The scene of Percy seeing his mom after she returns from the Underworld WAS SO CUTE AND PRECIOUS AND THEN KRONOS FUCKED IT UP. I love it. Chefs kiss.
Clarrise looked so fucking badass in her pan shot with her arms crossed. Like yeah she totally could’ve fucked some shit up with the gods
I love the beach scene with Percy v. Ares and how confused Annabeth is about the helm situation cuz she wasn’t there lmao
I kinda liked that Ares got cocky and kicked his opponent, the SoN of the FuCKinG SeA GOD into the OCEAN. Percy rolled through that little puddle and I screamed OH ITS OVER FOR YOU.
Walker’s micro expressions are fucking ICONIC AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE SCREEN RECORDS
Your honor I love them. Yes this post has devolved. No I won’t stop.
I gasped when Alecto was there at Montauk instead of Sally. But yeah. She showed up. I just forgot.
I love how Percy has just started calling people out on their shit. “You were always after the helm, weren’t you?” And telling Zeus he’s a shitty dad
OKAY BUT POSEIDON SHOWING UP TO PROTECT PERCY. I GASPED. I LOVE THIS CHANGE SO MUCH. it shows so much more compassion and gentleness of Poseidon. Yes in the books we get some glimpses. But the show isn’t holding back his favoritism.
THE PERCABETH HUG PT TWO
okay but we were robbed of more Seaweed Brain and Wise Girl quips.
I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts later on. But overall. I AM SO HAPPY WITH THIS SERIES I JUST WISH IT HAD MORE EPISODES TO GIVE THE STORY THE TIME AND DEVELOPMENT IT DESERVES.
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exquisitelyrandom · 1 year ago
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hi i know one of them is kinda old but if you're okay with it i would love to do a fic of either of these tacophone comics of yours, maybe even both (with credit ofc)
https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/690825927273463808/draw-something-tacophone-related-and-if-you-dont
https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/713112801221263360/angst-because-the-sillies-are-on-my-mind-again
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oh my god ofc you can w credit holy sh
YES!!!! AAUGQHZHHQ I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO!!!!! yuo have no idea how much I've been looking for reading content of them plsplspslsplspls
btw where would you be posting the story? I'd love to read it,, if you do make a fic of them, please tag me/send me a link!! ^^
going into small detail abt the ideas behind the comics below because im insane abt them vvv
they're actually very similar to each other so they may as we 🐝 connected/have the same situation lmao
first comic is leaning more on mic's. side
;After getting into the hotel, she's. absolutely miserable but keeps trying to pretend she's fine (she is not). Of course, Soap and the others notice her mood and one of them eventually get to talk to her about it. But even as she does open up, she never outs Taco. Ever. And blames it on the contest. Soap/Whoever confronted her knows it isn't true, but doesn't push further. After the talk, Mic basically just sits there and contemplates, before deciding """past is past""". Eventually, she starts thinking about the whole thing less, and she's smiling a lot more the next few days/weeks. Er. Until. That one night.
The second comic - or, in both comics - , here's Taco's side
There was actually gonna be more similar..things.. in both of the panels i put up above,, but i decided they'd look too similar to each other so Taco looks angrier in the second one
It all starts when Mic walks through the portal. Yeah. She didn't expect that. Taco's not someone to be caught off guard; her moves are calculated, and she knows the outcome of something even before it had a chance to start. She's memorized the puzzles and patterns on an object's mind, knows how to use it to her advantage - knows how to manipulate it into what she needs it to do. So why was it that she..?
She's teleported to their little spot, and her emotions are. overwhelming. At first, she feels.. sad. Distraught. Distraught that Mic left. Then, she feels.. angry. Angry at Mic for even leaving without any further word. Angry at Mic to have the AUDACITY to blame ..her. And she's angry.. at herself. Then, she's sad again. Her mind goes back to the words Microphone last spoke to her, and it stings, just as much as when she first heard them, if not more. She sits on the log -[soft thud]- oh, nevermind, she's on her knees in the soft grass, head in hands. She grips her shell tight and tries to shout, to let out the scream that's been trying to claw its way out of her throat, to get all of the overwhelming thoughts out of her head, but all she can manage is a choked sob, her throat tightening as she curled into herself.
And I'm only now realizing I'm getting WAY too carried away so fast forward everyone:
Taco thinks back on all the mistakes she's made, and back at one of her.. biggest mistakes yet. And, after a while, she decides she's done running, and she's not letting her slip from her grasp that easily. Not again. Not like him.
So, she writes, and writes, and writes, and writes. Until, after over fifty crumpled papers and about three half empty cups of - now cold - tea, she's finished. A letter to Microphone. She spilled her heart out on it, not leaving a single detail on everything she's done, opening herself up completely to the object never expected to break down years worth of built up walls. She's a little hesitant as she sends it to the hotel's mail, and then she waits.
She doesn't respond. Its not the first time. She takes a deep breath. No, she's not letting it faze her. She needs Mic to see she's being genuine. Why couldn't you be genuine from the start? When she most needed you to be?
She sends another letter, this time, directly into her room. She drops it through the little window, and she runs off before anyone notices her. A week passes. She doesn't respond again. She doesn't give up. She sends another letter, and another, and another, and another..
Two months has passed since then - has it really been that long? - And she's on the floor, miserable. The cracks have gotten worse and she can barely see with her right eye, she can barely stand, and her knees feel weak. Her head feels heavy, and her mind goes back to quiet picnics, white bowties and purples hues. And it just.. hurts. It hurts. It hurts, so much and she doesn't want it to. It hurts, and she's angry. Angry at herself for even considering to leave Microphone after they get the million. She's angry at herself for not paying attention to what may have caused the whole thing. Angry at herself slipping up the one good thing she had.
Did you ever have her?
She's angry at herself for being the reason Microphone left.
She feels lightheaded, yet her head feels heavy. And she's so, so tired.. she blacks out
The next thing she knows, she's on her way to ..hotel oj.
Uh oh
so um when I said "small detail" i may have.. lied HEJHSJQJZNNQJXN I WAS GENUINELY GOING TO JUST DESCRIBE MY IDEA FOR THE COMIC IM OSRRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY i had many things to say about tacoy
YOU DONT HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH W THE PLOT I'd love to see ur take on the comic!! Ignore my gay little writings hehr
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tharizdun-03 · 1 year ago
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Love Live School Idol Project Watchthrough
i'm watching love live, and it's still not my kind of show, but it's better than i expected tbh. this moment in ep 3 actually shocked me.
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i won't post much about the show, so i'll take the opportunity now to declare that Kotori is a sweetheart and deserve all the hugs in the world
i think the reason love live is kinda working for me so far is because it's not about breaking into the industry, and having managers, and bookings and dealing with fans. it's just about some girls trying to save their school with song and dance.
much more cgdct like in its vibes than a lot of idol shows for me at least.
they're school idols not professional idols. the show just summarized my point for me in one sentence lol. that's why it works better.
8 episodes of build-up, but we got them all.
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Love Live! School Idol Project Season 1 ended up being pretty decent actually. Still not a big fan of the idol style, and a lot of its cuteness feels calculated (if you get what i mean) but it was a surprisingly good time with a few effective beats even. I'll watch more.
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AAAH SNOW HALATION
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i love the trope of the masses returning the favours and helping our heroes in their time of need
THE SENSE OF COMMUNITY
i love how love live sometimes just skips performances that are actually "important in story events", or doesn't show us the opposing teams in love live other than a single rival team, cause it's about the girls, and everything else they leave out as much as possible
THEY DID NOT JUST DO THAT
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not quite sure where they got those costumes from but gooo girls!!!
wait i'm fucking stupid, they show it in the interspersed scenes during the performance. too hype to pay attention lmao
way too many songs in this final episode tho
like we did not need another song after the cliffhanger for the movie, good fucking lord sometimes love live has no sense of tone whatsoever
Love Live! School Idol Project Season 2 overall had similar positives and negatives to what season 1 did. The impending graduation did provide added pathos (big K-On vibes yes) which gave us some particular highs, while others were a bit overdone for my tastes. Strong overall!
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Love Live School Idol Project went out with a hell of a bang. The movie was mostly just fluff and fan-service, (like sometimes way too much, i did not need multiple songs after each other with one having the entire city dancing together) but fun overall.
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Perfectly pleasant series as a whole, and I had my fun, but I don’t think too much of it.
3 notes · View notes
zepskies · 1 year ago
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Hello, my dear!! Absolutely loved getting your thoughts on this one. 😘
Their relationship really has grown by leaps and bounds, hasn't it? I wanted this to feel like an extension of the growth in "Love Actually." Here they're at a comfort zone a bit deeper than even LA, even though their world is about to get shaken up again loll.
I love how much trouble the reader gets herself in and Ben is always there but always has to remind her of it 😂😂
I knew you would appreciate that bubblewrap line. 🤣 Poor Ben. So long-suffering. But to be fair, she attracts trouble like a magnet.
The reader having a bit of a mini meltdown in the toilet was understandable.
Thank you! I've never been pregnant or even had a "scare," but even if you're happy in your relationship and are planning it or not, I would imagine (like you said) that it can be as scary as it is exciting. Especially as this pregnancy is going to be different loll, with its own set of potential challenges.
She may be a good liar but I’m kinda hoping he’s going to be more perceptive these days and know it’s more than just tiredness.
At the very least, he's become more perceptive to her. 😂 Her being a good liar calls back to her early BMD days of trying to manipulate Ben to her advantage, when she was still trying to figure him out. 😜
I still dislike Tonya baker but it looks like she may be needed at this time 😒 she doesn’t hold back or have any bedside manner at all though 🙈
Ikr?!! Like goddamn it, Tonya. But she's one of those characters I love to dislike, if that makes sense. 😂 She's going to have a key scene in Part 2 as well.
But oh that whole scene 😍 I love that he does know her and sensed straight away something wasn’t right. And she equally just realised she needed to tell him straight.
Oh, Ben has no patience with whatsoever. 😂 He knows something ain't right, and he's not going to stop until he figures out what. And she knows this about him. lol
His emotion was just overwhelming, for a man that doesn’t do “soft” 💕💕 I just wanted to wrap him up in a big hug 😍
Girl same. 🥰 I'm so glad his emotions came through (even though he instinctively tries to bottle them lmfao). I tried very hard to get that scene right in particular.
I enjoyed their celebration 😂 and it’s interesting seeing her strength from bens POV. It must be nice for him to completely be able to let go and not have to hold himself back. That actually must take incredible strength, especially when it’s so easy to loose yourself with sex.
Hahaha I'm so glad you did!! 😏 And yes that's exactly what I wanted to get at! He's always got to be very self-aware of his strength for that reason. Even though we did explore her being on his level of strength in BMD, I wanted this time to feel different of course, in that they're in a completely different place in their relationship.
I was laughing again at the ending. That man is obsessed with knocking the reader up. And when he’s got her pregnant he’s thinking about the second. He’s literally insatiable 😂🙈
LITERALLY. He takes no prisoners. 😂😂 Like, can he just enjoy this moment? But now that they're finally here, his mind is calculating the possibilities of having a family loll. I think it's sweet in its own way. 🤣❤️
Just a year and a half ago he was here:
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Now he's got a job, a girlfriend who loves him for him, some actual friends (though he'd never admit that the Supe Affairs team are his friends lmao), and a family on the way!
Thank you so much, my friend!! Part 2 is definitely going to have more twists, arguments, and other fun moments in store...
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Strong as Blood - Part 1
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Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 
(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)
AN: This two-part fic can be read as standalone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!
Here’s the chronological reading order for the series:
Break Me Down
Love Actually
Checkerboard
Strong As Blood
Word Count: 4,500 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, fluff, and a smutty ending. 
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Part 1: “Probably Temporary”
Make no mistake. Ben was still a terrible cook.
He’d sort of gotten the hang of the grill though, even if he technically wasn’t supposed to be smoking meat on the apartment’s second-floor balcony. 
You peeked out at your boyfriend through the sliding glass door to make sure he was still doing okay. He caught you though, and shot you a wink.
He was very proud of his grill. 
We’re so gonna get in trouble with the homeowner’s association, you thought, but you couldn’t help a smile. You obliged him when he beckoned you over, and you slid the door open. 
“Almost done? I think our neighbors are going to complain again,” you said with a laugh. Ben rolled his eyes.
“It’s a bit of smoke, not a fucking forest fire,” he groused. “Let those uppity fucks complain. Bet’cha they won’t have the balls to say shit to my face if I go across the street for a little visit.” 
You soothed him with a hand along his shoulder. It also gave you an excuse to check on his progress. You considered this episode to be a success, considering the balcony wasn’t up in flames this time. And the steaks actually looked good. Not brittle pieces of charcoal, but not raw and bleeding either.  
“I think those are done,” you advised. Ben followed your gaze and nodded. He used his bare hands to turn the foil-wrapped potatoes, just because he could. 
“Why don’t you take ‘em in while I finish up these potatoes,” he said. “How’s the rest coming?”
“Good. I’m about to take the casserole out of the oven,” you said with a nod. Meanwhile, he placed the steaks in a glass dish that been sitting near the open grill. He handed it to you, but you almost dropped the steaks when the hot glass burned your hands. 
You hissed in pain, while Ben caught the dish with both hands. His brows furrowed, first in surprise, then in thinly veiled concern when he looked over at you. He reached out for your shoulder. 
“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t seem that hot…you okay?”
You looked up from your stinging hands and sighed at him in exasperation, but you couldn’t get that mad at him. He sometimes couldn’t gauge things like this when it came to what he could handle, versus what your normal human body could. 
“Yeah. I’ll just break out the aloe. First, let me get some oven mitts,” you replied, but your answering smile retained some good humor. Ben quirked an apologetic smile of his own. He decided to follow you into the kitchen, taking the steaks in himself. 
You grabbed your favorite green oven mitts and carefully took out the veggie casserole. It smelled delicious, but Ben still peered at it over your shoulder when you placed it on the counter. 
“Don’t you look my casserole sideways,” you quipped. “You need to eat more veggies.”
He leveled you with a dry look. “You saying I’m getting out of shape?”
“God forbid,” you gasped, playfully jabbing at his firm abs with a mitt-covered hand. “I’m just saying, your super metabolism is compensating for a lot of booze and Taco Bell.”
Ben rose a brow at your cheekiness. He drew closer behind you, trapping you against the counter with one hand braced on the edge, and the other sliding up your jean-clad hip. 
“You’ve got some nerve. I don’t talk shit about the stash of Twix bars in your nightstand, do I?” he remarked. He nipped at your ear, making you flinch and giggle. His beard was also tickling your neck. 
“You’re peeping in my nightstand now? How dare you,” you teased. He snorted in response. 
“Please. Your purple vibrator isn’t exactly a fucking mystery to me,” he retorted. You felt his smirk growing against your neck. “Might wanna keep it away from the chocolate though. That could get messy…unless you want it to be.” 
Your body shook with the effort of containing your laughter. He was so fucking gross.
“Don’t you need to check on the potatoes?” you asked. “I don’t want to have to pressure wash the balcony again.”
Ben made a sound of agreement, but was sure to swat you on the ass before he went. You jolted, but you just shook your head with a blush and a smile. 
It had been over a year since you and Ben had moved in together. Already you’d had your first fight as a true couple, your first Christmas, and so many other challenges, large and small, that had all come to solidify one thing for you.
You were happy. Maybe for the first time in your life. 
It just came with some…small caveats, you reflected, as you reached into the fridge to find the jar of aloe vera. Before you slathered some onto your hands, you realized they were no longer red, and they didn’t even sting anymore.
“What the hell?” you muttered. You put back the jar and rested a hand on your hip. 
Well, maybe you hadn’t burned yourself as bad as you thought. 
With that oddity still in your mind, you pulled on your oven mitts again and took up the casserole with the intention of bringing it to the dining table. Admittedly, you were a bit distracted. You didn’t remember about the raised ledge in the doorway to the dining room until it was too late.
You tripped, and though you managed to make it to the table, you gasped when you broke right through the wood. 
The table just seemed to give up when you hit it, cracking in half, and sending you tumbling to the floor with hot casserole heaped on top. You were still stunned when Ben tore back inside. His green eyes were wide, his brows furrowed as he took in the state of you on the floor with the broken table.
“What the hell happened?” he asked, though he bent down to help you up. He checked you for injuries, but both of you found nothing. 
“I’m okay,” you said, a bit shakily. “I tripped, that’s all.”
Ben’s brows raised as he looked from you to the shards of the table. He knocked on the wood surface. 
“Cheap piece of shit. Where’d you get this thing?” he asked. 
You flickered at a smile and admitted, “IKEA.”
Ben shook his head. “We really need to broaden your palate.”
You insisted you were all right. But he insisted, without words, on checking you over again. His hands brushed down your shoulders and arms, your hands and neck.
He held your face in his hands, and he let out a deep sigh. You just smiled up at him, though inside, you were hiding a bit of worry yourself. 
That table hadn’t been cheap. It was solid pine wood. 
But Ben seemed to believe you. He also seemed a bit exasperated. 
“I should just layer you up in goddamn bubble wrap. The way you find ways to break yourself is beyond me,” he muttered. Your lips pursed. 
“I resent that—”
“I’m sure you fucking do.”
“Besides,” you said, a smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth. “What a pain in the ass would it be to unwrap me?” 
Ben huffed, even as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist and pull you in close. 
“True,” he smirked. “You’re already a pain in the ass as it is.” 
You opened your mouth to mount an indignant protest, but he shut you up the only surefire way he knew how. His kiss was swift, deep, and left you humming into his mouth in surprise. 
But you soon pulled back, brushing a thumb along his chin. “We’ve got to clean up this mess. And…did you get the potatoes?”
Ben thought for a moment, but then his mouth firmed into a line. 
“Shit,” he muttered, and released you to run back to the grill. 
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That night, you stood barefooted in your nightgown and took a moment alone in the bathroom to breathe. And to think. And to test the strength in your hands, by bending one of Ben’s metal wrenches like it was a useless paper straw. 
Okay, now you were panicking a bit. 
What the fuck? you thought. You had only ever experienced super strength when you were on V24 (which you had not taken, let alone the permanent stuff). 
But…if you thought about it, there had been one other time when you had felt this strong. And it had been when you were in the hospital, almost two years ago, after Vought Tower collapsed. You’d needed a surgery you might not have lived through. It was Ben’s actions that had saved you…after he donated his blood.
Unless he was somehow giving you transfusions without you knowing, there was only one other possibility you could think of for Ben’s DNA to somehow be in your system…
Holy shit, you thought. And you sat down on the closed toilet. Hard. Enough to dislodge a decorative dish that was perched on a shelf behind you. You gasped, but weren’t able to catch it before it hit the ground loudly. You winced and picked it up, even as you heard Ben’s steps approaching the bathroom. 
“You okay?” he asked predictably, through the closed door.
“Fine!” you said, your voice too high. You cleared your throat and tried to normalize your voice. “I’m fine, just dropped something.”
“Christ. You going for a record today?” he remarked. 
You rolled your eyes. 
A few minutes later, you finished in the bathroom and tried to act as normal as possible as you slid into bed next to your boyfriend. He was watching TV, but he glanced over at you. You knew he was silently assessing you, seeing if you were really okay. 
You gave him a smile and leaned over for a goodnight kiss. You attempted to be chaste, but he deepened it. He slid an arm around your waist and tilted his head, slipping his tongue between the seam of your lips. 
You welcomed him at first…but a tremor of warning flashed in your mind, along with the persistent thought that had followed you from the bathroom.
Should I tell him? 
You didn’t know why your inclination was to hold it in. There very well could be something wrong with you. But if your suspicions were true, then you wanted confirmation first. 
“What’s the matter?” Ben asked. He’d pulled back, sensing your distraction. You came back to yourself.
“Nothing, just tired,” you said, stroking his chest over his shirt. 
Ben looked into your eyes, his face more or less stoic. You saw the way he was trying to get a read on you though, like he didn’t quite believe you. You couldn’t blame him, but you could be very convincing when you needed to be.
He eventually nodded, letting you turn away from him to slip under the covers. Even though you felt the sting of your lie tingling unpleasantly down your spine. 
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You met Dr. Tonya Baker at her office in the Supe Affairs building. She’d been Vought’s top scientist, up until last year. After Stan Edgar’s death and the company’s collapse, the CIA recruited Dr. Baker. 
You didn’t like her. Nor did you trust her, exactly, but she had assisted Dr. Vogelbaum when Becca Butcher came to him with a unique problem. Now, Dr. Baker was the only one left with the knowledge and resources to advise you.
And she was able to confirm your suspicions. She came back with lab results while you sat up on an examining table. 
“You’re eleven weeks pregnant,” she informed you. 
Even though you’d been somewhat expecting it, suspicion and knowing were very different things. You took in a shaking breath, and through your shock, you were smiling. Happy, and even relieved.
Until Dr. Baker spoke again. 
“The super strength is probably temporary. A side effect of the fetus’s genetics. But, it’s also advantageous for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses. “This makes it much more likely that you’ll survive the birth.”
Your breath ceased at that thought, not to mention her clinical delivery. 
“Always with that delightful bedside manner, Doctor,” you quipped. All of a sudden, you were feeling lightheaded. 
Or maybe you were just freaking the fuck out. 
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When you got home that evening after work, Ben watched you. 
He knew something was off with you the second you walked through the door, pale and pensive. Still, you flashed him a greeting and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes on your way to the bedroom. 
So he followed you. And the fact that you didn’t even notice, even flinched when he dropped a hand on your shoulder, told him that you were more than just distracted. The last straw was when you walked into the dresser while glancing back at him. You hissed and shook out your sandle-clad foot. 
Now, you were injury prone at the best of times, but this was a bit much, Ben thought. 
“Geez, I didn’t even hear you,” you said, trying at a chuckle. “Normally you thud around in those combat boots like an elephant. We’re lucky no one lives below us—”
“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked. He was never one to beat around the bush. 
Your eyes widened a fraction; unease crept down your spine, but you gave him a quirk of your brow. 
“Excuse me?” 
“You fucking heard me,” he said. His gaze was hunter green, serious, and focused down on you.
“I’m fine, Ben—”
“No,” he snapped. “There’s something off with you.” 
You bit your lower lip. It seemed your boyfriend knew you better than you thought. You’d had a plan though. You had wanted to wait until you had a moment to shake off your anxiety and focus on the good when you sat him down this evening.
But you should’ve known better. Ben was remarkably impatient, even when he didn’t know what he was in for. 
And he got tired of waiting for your answer. 
He changed tactics, reaching for your arms. His grip was firm, but gentle in brushing his thumbs back and forth across your skin. His mouth was in a line, and you caught the concern hiding under his furrowed brows. 
“What’s so bad you can’t tell me?” he asked. 
You looked up into his eyes. Despite yourself, you had to smile. I’m not playing fair, you realized. 
“Okay, come ‘ere,” you said. You took his hand and led him to sit with you on the bed. Pulling his hand between both of yours into your lap, you sighed and thought about how you were going to say this. 
After a moment, you got a burst of inspiration. You held up a waiting finger to him and went into the closet to pull out one of your 25-pound hand weights. It might as well have weighed a pound, for how light it felt. You brought it back to the bed, and Ben stared back at you quizzically. 
“So…I didn’t get that table from IKEA,” you confessed. “It was solid wood, and I really did break straight through it.”
He rose a brow. “All right…”
You then showed him your newfound strength, by breaking the hand weight in half with your bare hands. His eyes widened, making you giggle a bit. You deposited both metal heads into his hands. He considered them, then you. His brows were knitting together even tighter. 
“What the hell—”
“Remember when you donated blood for me, when I was laid up in the hospital a couple years ago?” you asked. “I got your super strength for a day or two afterwards.”
Ben nodded. You had been a bit more than laid up, but semantics, he guessed. He was getting more confused by the moment. 
“Well this time, I’m told it’s also temporary…for the next seven months or so,” you said with a playful smile. 
Ben considered your words. He turned them back and forth in his head… 
Finally, his gaze flicked from yours to the broken weights in his hands. And he tossed them to the floor with a heavy thud on the hard wood. 
You giggled in earnest when he reached for your face with both hands. His eyes searched yours for any hint of a joke, his jaw tight and working. 
“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. His voice was a hint unsteady. You smiled bright and covered his hands with your own as the beginnings of tears stung in your eyes. 
“Not this time,” you said. “Ben, I’m pregnant.” 
It took him a moment to register your words. You saw the moment it all finally set in, with new realization etching into his features.
Never once had you seen this man tear up. He turned his face away, but you still caught the edges of his emotion. 
You reached for his bearded cheek, turning him back to you. His eyes were red and starting to shine, even though he was fighting it. A muscle in his jaw clenched, and then eased.
After a beat, his hands moved down from your face to brush down your arms, down your sides and around your frame. He pulled you into his lap, for which you went willingly into his arms. And your tears fell in earnest when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
You knew what this meant to him, but you still couldn’t help but prod at him.
“Are you happy?” you teased, rubbing his back. Ben huffed and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 
“What do you think?” he countered.  
Your hand moved down to slip under his shirt, gliding over the taut muscles in his back as they responded to your touch. You met him with a small smirk. 
“Show me,” you challenged. 
His lips quirked; that was all the encouragement he needed. Ben’s hands moved to tangle in your hair and squeeze the curve of your waist, bringing you flush against him when he kissed you. You inhaled deeply. Your nails dragged up his back, applying some pressure that made his shoulders twitch. 
You didn’t know what your newfound strength felt like to him, but for Ben, you felt solid in a way you hadn’t before. He could let go of some of his self-control and knead your hips with a force beyond bruising.
He could veer away from your lips and raze down your neck, and give your shoulder a love bite that would’ve drawn blood. Now it didn’t even break your skin. It did, however, earn him a pleased gasp. 
Maybe he’d just have to keep knocking you up, he thought. So you’d always be this strong.  
You started rucking up his shirt first, and had to push him back to even get it off him. After that, all bets were off.
It was a mad scramble to shed each other’s clothes, with Ben not being able to get away with his usual manhandling. Your smile grew, as you now had the strength to literally push back and make him work a bit harder for it.  
He smirked up at you when you managed to take him by surprise and push him back onto the bed. You’d successfully bared him for your gaze, but you still had your bra and panties on as you climbed over him and straddled his lap. 
Ben held himself up with a hand on the bed as the other slid around your waist and hooked you in. You took his face in your hands and gave him the full force of your passion.
Your lips claimed his in a devouring kiss, teeth clicking and tongues dueling for dominance. And you ground down your clothed core against his rising length, earning his groan of appreciation into your mouth.
With a flick of his wrist, your bra strap snapped off in the back. You huffed, knowing he’d probably broken the clasp.
Ah well, I’m about to need new ones soon enough.
The thought made you smile against his lips. You let him pull the bra down your arms and wherever he decided to fling it off to. You thought he might start traveling down between your breasts, as was a favorite path of his to map out.
But then, in one smooth motion Ben had you flipped over onto your back. He grinned at your yelp of surprise, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover. He latched onto your neck again, this time on the other side as he scraped his beard and teeth across your skin.
Meanwhile, you moaned encouragements in his ear while his heavy hand squeezed one of your breasts, rolled a thumb over a pert nipple. 
You trailed your hands down his chest, soothing over golden tan skin and freckles and sculpted muscle until you reached his hard length. You earned a straining grunt from your man as you teased the sensitive flesh, a thumb circling over its weeping head. 
Ben grabbed your wrist and gave you a warning look. “Can’t let me fucking concentrate, huh?”
You just grinned and took his hand instead. You dragged it down your body until you guided his fingers into your underwear, between your wet folds. 
“Ben, I need you,” you said. But your need was already in your eyes. Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, and deep inside, where you burned for him most. 
Ben felt it in your iron grip on his hand, now almost as strong as his own. Your legs curled up his thighs to wrap around his hips, teasing him with the soft promise between your inner thighs. So how could he do anything else but give you what you wanted? 
He teased between your folds with his fingers first. Gathering some of your wetness, he circled over your clit firmly. You whimpered as your back arched in response. 
“Gonna sing for me, baby doll?” he teased. Your breathing became more labored as his fingers continued to play with you, but you managed to offer a small smirk. 
“You gonna make me?” you asked. “Think you need to bring out the big guns for that one.”
Ben chuckled. As usual, you were being a little shit. 
So he brought you to the edge of your release, just with his fingers. You were starting to squeeze them tight with your inner walls, your moans getting more urgent. But he withdrew his digits at the last moment, leaving you panting and confused.
“What…”
He smirked down at you and wrapped his slick fingers around his cock, stroking himself a few times. You watched him with expectant, hungry eyes.  
“You want the big guns, I’ll fucking give ‘em to you,” he said. It made you huff, but you had to smile as he returned to you. He hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties and slowly, torturous, he pulled them down your legs.
Those same hands then traveled back up, gliding across your skin with purpose. Your breath shallowed in anticipation.
He eventually gripped your hips, pushing your thighs up a bit farther, and you lined his cock to your entrance. Your heels dug into his ass and added a bit of force when he pushed inside you. And your moans tangled together along with your bodies.
You fairly pulsed inside, and he felt it in your inner walls wrapped so fucking tight around him. His forehead briefly fell to your shoulder. Even though you were panting for breath, you still soothed him, carding your fingers through his hair. 
Normally he’d be going off at a relentless clip by now. But Ben started slow, rolling his hips back and forth into yours at a steady rhythm that managed to take your breath away and make your toes curl.
His name fell from your lips, reverent and pleased. You felt every part of him as he plunged inside you, and it was incredibly fucking hot.  
He took a moment to meet your eyes. He gave you a grin that softened the hard edges that so often lined his face in times like this. And you realized then what was happening.
Ben didn’t do slow. Not for long anyway. But it seemed like he’d taken your challenge to heart. In fact, you had a feeling he was showing you what he couldn’t quite put into words. 
When he reached a hand to part your folds and circle two insistent finger pads around your clit, you couldn’t help but grip his arms tight enough to bruise him. Your mouth opened on a keening moan.
Combined with his deep strokes starting to brush all the right spots inside you, it had you squeezing on him from the inside as you came hard, and made it known in his ear.
“Fuck—” Ben’s brows furrowed as your release finally triggered his own. And his voice joined yours, muffling in the pillow under your head. You shuddered as he spilled deep inside you. 
Your arms came around his back and held him to you for a moment afterwards, just stroking his back, his shoulders, his neck, whatever you could reach while you both caught your breath.
Eventually, Ben’s lips found your neck. You felt the shape of his smile grow there. 
“Too bad you’re already knocked up, or that could’ve been a great way to bring in our second kid,” he remarked.
This time, it took a second for his words to click together in your mind. As soon as they did, you uttered a laugh that shook both of your frames. You swatted his ass in reproach. He smirked down at you.
“I can't with you,” you said. Though you were still giggling. “You’re just gonna have to wait for the first one to come out of the oven.” 
Ben’s smirk evened out into a grin, his face almost boyish in his glee.
“Well, what can I say, baby? You’re a damn good cook.”  
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AN: 😂 Well then. What did you think of how she broke the news? And Ben's reaction to finding out he's finally going to be a dad? 🥹
But of course, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses in Part 2. The reader and Ben reveal the good news to her family, and as we all know, he's hoping for a son...
Next Time:
“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”
“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.
“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”
You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
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Soldier Boy Masterlist
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fidogo · 2 years ago
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And the truth of the matter is (I'll never let you go) - J.S
Synopsis: Jake Seresin hates you. Or is given no choice but to hate you after you decide to hate him first. Which sucks, because he dreams of dating you, marrying you, fucking you, the whole nine yards.
Tags: NSFT, miscommunication, enemies to lovers (kinda), F!Reader, mentions of gender and sexism, infactual Naval Control Room (sorry babes I have no clue what goes on in there and did not fact check), alcohol, sappy emotions, unprotected sex (Don’t do this!), penetrative sex, sub!reader, Dom!Jake, squirting, creampie, overstimulation, spanking, brief cockwarming
Word Count: 4.3K
AN: pretty silly in concept as in I know nothing about Naval control rooms and instead of learning or changing things just barreled on ahead because I felt compelled lmao I also tend to not like miscommunication tropes but once again…something compelled me
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Jake Seresin fucking hates you.
Well not really. To be quite honest, he thinks you may be the prettiest thing he’s seen in years. He has dreams where he wakes up next to you, fantasies of taking you to Texas, making sure you never had to lift another finger unless you wanted to.
So no.
He doesn’t hate you. But dear God he seems to be doing everything wrong. 
And he never does anything wrong. 
But anytime he flirts with you, dropping the ole’ Seresin charm, your lips curl up at him, unimpressed. (He wants to bite them. Or kiss them). You always roll your eyes, pat his arm and leave him hanging.
He hates it.
So he ups the ante, deviating from your carefully calculated flight instructions. He easily sails through the air, gliding between clouds and aces through the training and exercises. 
By the time Jake lands his plane, he’s elated, adrenaline pumping, muscles tense, and craving something hot, something more. 
Except it’s worse when he sees you that night. He practically turns red when you completely ignore him. Turning on your pretty little heels, not even giving him the time of day. 
He grabs your forearm on your way out, brows pinched in frustration at your lack of attention. At least before, when you talked to him, you were friends of some sort. 
But now you rip your arm out of his grasp, anger evident. 
“You’re a fucking asshole, Hangman,” you mutter before disappearing into the night. You never call him Hangman outside of work.
So yes, Jake Seresin hates you now. 
Any conversation between the two of you changed after that day. It’s always tinged in anger, some sort of bitterness. He can’t figure out what he did wrong, and you won’t tell him, and it just further cements the fact that he has to put those dreams of you to rest. He continues to defy you when he’s up in the air, but he’s no longer trying to impress you, no, it’s petty and cruel now.
He lets the wound fester, lets it grow and spread, turn vile enough that the others eventually take notice. 
Phoenix hangs by you when you’re all together, a loyal shadow, talons out whenever he gets too close. Rooster's loud and annoying as ever, picking up on the tension and doubling down on his clown routine to dissipate the heaviness. 
Jake finds himself embarrassed when Bob looks at him with sympathetic eyes. If you didn’t want to talk to him fine. He doesn’t need you or your goodwill (God he wants you so bad though). 
Coyote finds him at a barbecue one night. He hands him a beer wordlessly and just stays with him. It’s quiet and nice, making the ache he’s been feeling recently disappear a little. 
“You should talk to her.” Coyote's usually calming voice sounds abrasive to Jake; his hackles go up. 
“Jake.” Javy’s tone stops him from pouncing. “I’m serious. Just talk to her. You’ll both feel better.” He slaps his back, wandering over to Fanboy and Payback as the sun dips into the sea, the sky painted in orange and pinks. 
You’re sitting by yourself on top of a picnic table, a little away from the group, gaze glued to the sunset. 
You look like a fucking angel right now. Something straight out of his dreams. 
Fuck it. 
Shock finds its way onto your face as you see him walking towards you, his muscled body moving with purpose. Wide eyes watch him before they narrow turning towards the sand. 
“Go away, Hangman,” you spit. “Do I need to get Natasha over-“
“What did I do wrong? Tell me what I did.” He cuts you off abruptly, and there’s a twinge of guilt and desperation that colors his words. It’s different than any of your previous conversations. No cocky charm, no anger, just a solemness that leaves your jaw hanging as you gape at him.
He barrels through your silence, sitting on the table next to you. “I can’t fix this,” gesturing between the two of you, “unless you tell me what I did to make you hate me so much.”
Jake briefly notes the way you look at him like a deer in headlights, it’s a look he hasn’t seen on your face before. He wonders what other faces you could make for him. 
“You really don’t know?” Your voice softly cuts through the air, anxiety underlining your words. He shakes his head, watching the way you chew on the inside of your cheek as you stare at the darkening sky. 
A silence settles between the two of you, nothing to listen to but the laughter of your friends, and the repetitive crash of the waves.
“You embarrassed me.”
It’s so quiet, Jake almost doesn’t hear it. 
“What?”
“You embarrassed me in front of everyone. You didn’t listen to me at work. And I fought so hard to get into that control room.” You pause, tugging your jacket tighter around you. It sounds stupid now. Certainly nothing to cry over, and yet here you are, furiously rubbing your eyes. 
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry but I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” Jake carefully pushes, unsure of how to make this better. 
You make a pained sound, before nodding, a humorless smile on your face. Of course, he has no clue. You press a palm to your chest, looking straight through his eyes into his soul.
“I do the calculations for your exercises and training.” You pat your chest, voice cracking. “I do it.” He tilts his head at you, silently urging you on. “And when you don’t listen to me and are still so successful, everyone looks at me.” 
“But I do that all time…” he trails off, hand hovering over your shoulder before pulling it away. 
“When you train with Mav or the other pilots, that’s different. But just- certain exercises, where it’s mainly for the plane and just you. That’s on me.” 
He takes a sip of his beer, nodding slowly.
“Why do they look at you?” You let out a small groan, brows pinched in annoyance. 
“Because when what I calculate doesn’t happen, they think I should be doing better. Well, everyone but Hondo. And in case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t a lot of women here.” Jake’s stomach drops a little as you continue. Shit. 
“If I had been a man, I don’t think they would’ve raised an eyebrow. Hell, no one says anything when Johnson fucks up on Rooster’s calculations. And it is on me. I should’ve considered the fact that you’re the perfect pilot who will always beat the odds, but you had never pulled this shit with me before.” He snorts at that, before finally letting his palm rest on your thigh. 
In a comforting, apologetic manner. 
Nothing else.
“And it certainly didn’t help that after the first time, I did everything in my power to do the opposite of what you said.” You laugh at that, a twinkle returning to your eyes that he hasn’t seen in a while.
“No that didn’t help at all. One day my favorite pilot stopped listening to me, the next day I was a joke in the control room.” Your fingers curl into your jacket, and you keep still as Jake slides closer to you. He puts his beer down, gently caressing your jaw so you look at him.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry that happened to you. I wish you had told me,” he whispers, watching as your eyes dart around, unused to this type of closeness from him.
“I’m sorry. I just was-“ you meet his eyes again, tears beginning to well. “I was embarrassed. I thought I was going to get demoted or transferred. Which didn’t happen. But I thought you didn’t need me and….” your voice fades off, embarrassment all over your face, as you try to squirm out of his grasp. 
Jake drops his hand from your jaw, giving you space, but he squeezes the flesh of your thigh.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like that. That’s the last thing I ever wanted, believe me.” He swipes at a stray tear with his free thumb, watching you blink in surprise. He steals himself, deciding the truth may be the best route.
“When I didn’t listen to you the first time, I was trying to impress you.” Your eyes widen and your upper body pulls away from him.
“What?” You sound like you can’t believe him, and your eyes narrow at him. “This isn’t funny Seresin.” There’s an edge in your voice again, one that he’s come to respect and hate over the past weeks. 
“I’m not being funny,” he throws back, matching your glare. “I was trying to get you to notice me. Hell, nothing else was working.”
“Now what the fuck do you mean?” He looks at you like your stupid, and he almost feels guilty about it except for the fact that he had been flirting with you for so long, it’s a miracle he didn’t give up. And when he tells you that, you look at him mouth gaping. 
“You were serious?” Jake almost rolls his fucking eyes, but he’s watching you relive months of memories, as your shoulders sag. “Oh my god. I thought you were making fun of me.” 
His heart aches a little at the thought of you thinking he was being cruel to you when he wanted to do nothing more but give you the moon and every star in the sky. 
“Sweetheart. Not only do I want you more than anything, I need you. Always.”
“Oh.” He feels you squeeze your thighs together, feels the heat radiating from you. 
Oh. Oh indeed. 
———
Jake’s careful with you. More careful than he wants to be right now, but everything’s so fragile right now, so tender, he doesn’t want to do anything that’ll scare you off. 
His hands are gentle when he peels your shirt and bra off of you; he’s hesitant as he kisses down your neck. His thumb swipes over the, now swollen, lips that have haunted his dreams. They open ever so slightly, letting him push in. He groans into your neck, pushing his free hand into your shorts, sliding over your damp panties. 
“Fuck,” he whispers, eyes glazed over as he trails his fingers up and down your clothed slit. Your hips buck slightly at his ministrations, lips curling around his thumb as you suck gently at it. 
Jake’s cock throbs painfully in his boxers as he watches your body react to him so beautifully, and he hasn’t even really done anything yet. You’re so wound up, so tense in multiple ways, and it’s his fault. He owes it to you to make you cum before he gets his dick wet. It’s what you deserve. 
He pulls his thumb from your mouth, caressing your face ever so slightly before trailing it down your breasts to tweak at your nipples.
“Such perfect tits,” he mutters, watching you bloom so beautifully under his attention. “Now let's get you out of these shorts.” You lift your hips as he situates himself between your thighs, pulling your shorts and underwear off in one go. And then he just fucking stares. 
You squirm under his eyes, thighs beginning to close as anxiety plucks at your nerves. But he’s faster than you.
“Don’t you go hiding from me now, sweet thing.” He licks his lips before looking at you with blown-out eyes. “I think you doubt how long I’ve been dreaming about you and this perfect pussy. Let me enjoy this.” Your heartbeat picks up at his words, cunt involuntarily clenching around nothing. And he fucking watches it happen. 
He smirks up at you in a way that makes you want to pull your hair out, presses a kiss to your thigh, and remains silent. As if not wanting to push your annoyance too far. 
Jake settles on his stomach between your thighs, continuing to leave a trail of soft kisses up your thighs until he’s right at the apex, thumbs pulling your lower lips apart. He sighs appreciatively as your thighs tense.
“You’re just staring,” you complain, beginning to squirm again. He tsks at you, dragging his thumb up the cleft of your cunt.
“Hold your horses. I’m just getting started.” He swaps his thumb for his index, circling around the bud of your clit, delighting in the way you shiver, and he continues to trace your pussy as it leaks for him. “So pretty…” he murmurs mostly to himself.
Jake’s mainly teasing you at this point. A bit cruel considering how battered you both are emotionally, but he wants the first time you cum for him to be big. Memorable. Nothing less from Hangman. And for you. Of course. 
And so he continues to tease, to drag his digits around your clit, your entrance, teasing the opening but not quite entering. He’s enchanted by the little noises you make, the gossamer strands he pulls from your body. They just look so…sweet. 
With his eyes fixed on yours, he leans his mouth forward. 
When his tongue swipes along you, your groan of relief goes straight to his dick. Fuck. He could listen to you all day. 
Jake laps away at your cunt, chasing after your nectar and the sounds you make, relishing in the way your thighs tense around his head. He draws his tongue up, passing over your clit, and you buck into his mouth. Your fingers are in his hair in a flash, tugging as he repeats the motion. His eyes roll into the back of his head at the feeling, and he grinds his dick into the bed.
“Fuck,” you whimper, eyes sealed shut as you continue to hump against his face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 
He expertly flicks at your clit, fingers digging almost painfully into your thighs. It feels so good, the pleasure radiating from your pussy making your brain foggy. Much like he can’t think of being anywhere but between your thighs, you can’t think of anything but Jake and his perfect mouth.
The two of you stay in this, wet, messy rhythm of tugging and licking and teasing until your wound so tight, muscles so tense you can’t help but beg. Jake, Jake, baby, please. I need to cum so bad.
He groans against you, vibrations making you shiver. One of your thighs is released, fingers gently trailing over the shallow nail marks left on your skin. You shiver again. Those same fingers find their way to your sopping, twitching cunt, and they trail in-between the lips of your pussy while his tongue remains focused on your clit. 
You pant tugging hard at his hair again, you can feel it coming, feel the wave begin to crash- and then he pushes 2 fingers inside you, stretching, searching, begging you to cum around them. And obedient as ever, you do.
You jolt forward, fingers still tangled in his hair as your thighs snap shut around his head, cunt pulsing around his fingers and into his awaiting mouth. Your blood feels white hot, pleasure overwhelming as your hips continue to twitch and buck. 
Jake continues to thrust his fingers into you, helping you ride your high as his own hips grind into the bed, reluctantly chasing the same. 
When your body starts to relax, fingers no longer clinging to his hair almost painfully, he pulls his mouth and fingers away slowly, watching you carefully, gauging where you are. 
You blink at him blearily, licking your lips before noticing how wet the lower half of his face looks. Wet because of you. 
You let out a small moan. “Fuck, Jake.” 
You look so fucked out, so lovesick- Something snaps in him and he doesn’t know why but he needs you to cum again as fast as possible. 
And so he dives back in. 
Fingers thrusting, tongue skillfully teasing. And you wail, hips rocking. To escape or seek more, you don’t know. 
“Jake,” you cry out, pulling his hair, trying to get his tortuous mouth off of you. “Jake it’s too much!” But a single arm keeps you glued to his mouth. His eyes meet yours, blown out and desperate, and your fucking shaking. 
And then his lips form a seal around your clit. 
And he sucks. 
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, hips writhing against him as you’re taken under by another massive wave of pleasure. Your thighs squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, feet flailing against the bed. You repeat nothing but his name, as if it’s the only word you remember how to say, voice tense and whiny. 
He moans into you, fingers pulling more of your cum into his mouth, and he grinds his boxer-covered cock into the mattress watching your body crest and crash until you begin to still. 
Carefully, as if you might break, Jake pulls away again. The deep ache in his gut was finally satisfied at seeing you fucked out and exhausted. 
But you prop yourself up to look at him, chewing your lip thoughtfully. “Dontcha wanna fuck me?” You whisper, something desperate and needy kicking to life inside of you again. 
Jake inhales deeply, something twinging in his abs, and he grimaces. 
And you flail in panic at his face, turning over to your hands and knees, cunt rising above him, as you turn back to look at him, begging again. Jake please, please I need you in me. I want you so bad. 
And he groans, reaching a hand up to squeeze your ass. 
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing more I want than to fuck this cunt until you pass out. But I need to wait. I’m a little spent…” 
You freeze at that, turning more to watch as he peels off his boxers, noticing the shine of the fabric. Holy shit. 
Your eyes widen, and you collapse in front of the pillow in front of you. 
“That’s so hot, Jake. Fuck.” Your hips wiggle as if to sell your point, and he chuckles. 
“Bad timing though, huh?” 
You peak out from the pillow, turning back again. “I don’t mind waiting.” 
“I know.” And he smirks at you again, and it’s so annoying and cocky in the ways you hate but you’re too horny to care. 
Especially when he starts massaging the globes of your ass. You settle down, eyelids drooping as his fingers dig into the flesh there. It feels so nice, relaxing while still keeping you turned on. 
Jakes's fingers drift lower towards the entrance of your cunt, fingers gliding over the wetness that lingers around the entrance, pushing it back into you. 
A shudder runs through your body as you clench tightly around his fingers. He coos at you, beginning to thrust them in and out, other hand still squeezing away. You gently rock back against him, mind glazed over from all the sensations and the fact that it was Jake Seresin who was doing it to you. 
He pushes another finger in, smiling to himself at how you flutter around him, wanting more. Your darlin’ cunt was really a gift, wasn’t it?
He thrusts in and out, glued to the way you drip around his hand. 
“Jake?” you sound so quiet, so soft. He could eat you live right now. You’re pouting now, lip jutting out at him. 
“What is it darlin’?” 
“Can you fuck me now?”
There’s a mean edge to your voice again, one that almost has him rolling his eyes. You’re a fucking piece of work sometimes. But he just pulls his fingers from you, stroking his cock with the wetness of you. 
“You know what? I think I can take care of that for you.” You grin back at him, propping yourself up and shaking your ass again, and he slaps the jiggling flesh, making you laugh. 
He fists himself mindlessly, guiding himself forward, closer to where he wants to be more than anything. 
You inhale, fingers digging into the sheets at how he barely nudges toward, stretching you ever so slightly. 
Jake lets out a hiss as he pushes forward. You’re fluttering and tensing like crazy around him, and his nails dig into your ass harshly. 
“You gotta relax for me. Let me in.” You shiver and nod taking deep breaths as finally slides deep into your slick cunt.
“Oh shit Jake,” you say, already moving back against him, lost in the way he feels spectacular inside of you. Whatever daze you’re in is reciprocated, as he shallowly thrusts into you ever so slightly as you both adjust. You’re just so hot and wet already. It makes the small of his back tingle; lights something up deep inside of him. 
Jake pulls out slowly, watching the way your walls cling to him, listening to the way you mewl. Fuck.
“Yea you like this dick?” He pumps back into you, watching the way you react, feeling you. 
“You’re so- fuck- annoying,” you moan, glaring at him from over your shoulder, but your pussy squeezes him anyways.
“You were the one begging for it.” His palm slaps the fat of your ass, and you bounce back against him. 
“And what’s wrong with that?” He glares at you, at the twinge of fight and mischief in your eyes. 
“Nothing you little brat.”
And then he fucks you. Hard. Hips slamming into your ass, skin against skin. It’s loud, filling the air with wet, lewd noises that makes your toes curl and eyes roll back. You can feel the ridges of his dick as he stretches your cunt.
He fucks you steady, hypnotized by every little thing about you. You just feel so fucking good, surrounding his cock as you drip into the sheets. Jake briefly wonders if you’d let him do this again, let him see you like this, tease you apart until you’re just as gooey and babbley. 
He splays his hand out on your upper back, pushing you in the bed. Your breathing’s shaky, fingers curled into the sheets. There’s a deep ache inside you. You need him so much it hurts. 
“Jake,” you manage to pant out, cunt squeezing him deliciously. He hisses before stroking the length of your back. 
“I know. You’re being so good for me. Such a good girl,” he coos, hands landing on your waist. You nod in agreement, the praise going straight to your overworked cunt. 
“Used to be so mouthy with me. Just needed my cock in ya, huh?” His question is punctuated by a particularly well-aimed thrust that makes your knees feel wobbly. It’s degrading, but the way he’s making you see stars right now has you whimpering in agreement. You need it. You need him.
“Jake,” you whine hoarsely. “I’m close.” He coos at you again, squeezing the flesh of your waist before sliding his hands to grip your ass, pulling you further against him, letting him take you more and more and more.
“Can you touch yourself for me, sweetheart?” You blink dumbly at his request, before slowly inching a hand in-between your sweaty thighs. Your fingers split into a V, surrounding where he fills you, and you shake your head, dropping your hand. It’s too much, too sensitive. “That’s okay,” he drawls, making your heart skip a beat. “I’ll take care of you.”
He drops forward, sweaty chest pressing against your back, and his hips continue to pummel into yours, cock pressing into your so sweetly. Jake snakes an arm beneath you, blunt finger rubbing quick little circles into your clit. 
You cry out, squirming away as he relentlessly attacked your poor, tired nub. It’s overwhelming, face pressed into his sheets, the scent of sex filling the air, the way your cunt’s being shown more attention than it has in a while, and most importantly, Jake Seresin's lips reaching anywhere they can- your jaw, shoulder, back. He’s everywhere. And you can’t hold off the inevitable any longer. 
Your pussy clamps down on him like a vice, pulsing around him as you shake under him. You gush around him, an extra burst of wetness almost forcing Jake out of your cunt. He grunts, doing his best to keep his rhythm consistent, keep it nice to help you ride it out.
“There you go there you go. Just like that.” 
You throw an arm back, nails clawing into whatever part of him they land on. 
“Cum in me Jake, please, please.” Your voice doesn’t sound like your own, but you don’t care. 
“Fuck, sweetheart. Whatever you want.” His hand drops from your throbbing clit, granting you relief as his pace falters. When he finishes, he’s loud right in your ear, spurts of cum filling your soaking pussy. 
The stillness that follows is thick, hanging heavy in the air. You accept the weight of him inside and out, taking deep breaths as you try to calm down. 
Jake stays inside of you, and he curls around you ever so slightly, desire and need to be close to you outweighing the discomfort of his softening cock. 
It’s nice, being stuffed full like this. But eventually, you squirm, tapping his arm that rests near your head. 
“Jake.”
A chaste kiss is pressed to your sweaty shoulder. 
“I know, honey. I know.” Jake pulls out of you slowly, and you wince at the feeling. He hops off the bed, leaving you to curl up on his bed, trying to ignore the sticky cum that’s spread along you. 
The next moments pass in a blur; you vaguely feel a damp cloth clean your pussy, a sweatshirt slid over your shoulders, and a glass of water gently pressed into your hands as you sit up. 
You blink up at Jake, sipping your water as you take in his appearance. Hair messy, chest flushed, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. 
“How ya feeling?” he asks gently, sitting next to you. 
“Like I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.” Jake smirks at you, a sick sense of pride filling him before he rubs your thigh.  
“I’ll take care of ya then too.” And that makes you smile so sweetly at him, he feels the breath get knocked out of him. You stretch your arms above your head, twisting as you get comfortable in his bed. 
“And I’m feeling stupid because we could’ve been doing this for months.” Jake laughs at that, before humming in agreement. 
“We’ll we’ve got a lot of time to make up for… later of course. I need my beauty sleep.” You roll your eyes at that, and he kisses your shoulder, before curling around you, a smile on his face as he reluctantly drifts to sleep. After all, his dream was finally a reality.
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wh6res · 4 years ago
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three's a crowd | nomin
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synopsis. picking favorites is impossible when you like neither of them.
warning. read at your own risk. abuse, bullying, poly relationship, yandere themes, manipulation, nonconsensual touching, noncon, degradation, smut threesome oop
disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think jaemin or jeno would act like this in real life.
note. this was meant to be a new year's gift lmao i obviously got a lil carried away 👀 anyway a late happy new year to you all! we survived 2020, let's start living in 2021, yeah? lmao if covid lets us grr mwah!
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the relationship you had with the two of them was a weird one, bordering on taboo, but it wasn't as if you willfully chose to be who they wanted you to be and it took jaemin's unwanted pining and jeno's intimidating demeanor for you to fall right into their arms.
it was a joint effort on their part, you couldn't've possibly stood a chance.
"this many?" the cashier asked. "are you sure?"
stepping back and studying the whole situation, you figured you only had your addiction to caffeine and procrastination to blame. it was a chain reaction you didn't even know will lead up to your inevitable doom.
if you hadn't been slacking off during your first semester of junior year college, you wouldn't be forced to overwork yourself trying to catch up to the looming deadlines, but to be able to 'work yourself to the bone' you need your boost of energy… and that was when you met one of them.
"uhm," you scratch the back of your head sheepishly as you eye the six glass bottles of iced coffee. sure, it looks bad and you kinda appreciate the look of concern the cashier throws your way but it was none of his business.
"yes. now could you, like, you know… hurry up? i'm in a little bit of a time crunch right now."
screw it. although you hardly snap like that with other people on a daily basis, it'll be a whole different conversation if you were under a significant amount of stress and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.
now can he just fucking stop asking questions and give you your six bottles of death drink to keep your fucking brain going so you can pass an eight-page essay tomorrow? thank you very much!
the guy snickered, the beeping sound of a barcode being read sounding a thousand times more annoying than it usually sounds as he keeps his hand busy by punching your items out.
you fail to notice how he studies you through the gaps of his lashes, finding you interesting rather than threatening as you stood before him with your messy hair and oversized hoodie.
"haven't seen you around university grounds 'till today," he tries striking another conversation with you. "you new? i'm jaemin."
this was your first mistake, you shouldn't have been so… downright rude when you met him. if you were granted the miracle of meeting him a 2nd time, you would've acted more nice, throwing yourself at his feet even to blend in with the rest of his fangirls you didn't even know about at the time. you would've done anything to make sure he never gives you a second glance, to never pique his interest.
jaemin is the pep squad captain. flying over colored blue mats and doing tumblings in the air with no ounce of fear. he was the best in his team, that much was evident when your friend dragged you into watching a pep rally practice. his landings were clean, balanced, and executed to the best he can at all times.
no wonder he was popular, his talent is outstanding and his looks are a bonus. his killer combo of a smile and wink after pulling off a tough flip is enough to send them squealing in their seats.
he spotted you that day and since then, he snuck the quickest glances at the bench during practices. recognizing you as the coffee girl he met during his convenience store shift. jaemin tries not to let his disappointment show too much when he doesn't see you, but of course, a pair of cold calculating eyes could see right through him.
"i saw that," his boyfriend said, hand darting forward to hold jaemin's gym bag for him. "you kept looking at the crowd. do you want to see her that much?"
"but she reminds me so much of you, jeno!" he retorts, pouting at the slight grumpy tone the other boy used. "i can't help it. she doesn't seem to give a fuck around me so she's quite interesting. maybe she can even be a great addition to our relationship!"
"well," jeno replies after a beat of silence, plastering a small smirk on his face before slinging an arm around jaemin's shoulder.
"convince me?"
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you don't like jaemin's attention. not in the slightest. and it seems that was enough reason for the reign of terror his little fanclub has subjected you too.
it wasn't the petty elementary forms of bullying like pulling at your hair or calling you names. they pale in comparison to the other things they do to you—beating you up, messing with your homework, "accidentally" dumping their food trays on you.
and you weren't stupid.
you knew exactly who was behind it, knew how jaemin spectates the whole thing from afar so that he can swoop in at the end to play your knight in shining armor.
"oh, you poor thing. do you need help?"
the first time you accepted his "help" you ended up in a supply closet near the gym during your free period, cornered and weak as your cries for help drowns under the squeaking of shoes and the booming sounds of rubber balls hitting the floor.
if it weren't for jeno appearing out of thin air and prying the boy off of you, you would've been painted blue and red from the death grip he had on your wrist, neck, and waist.
you can still remember feeling the soreness of your scalp from when he pulled your hair too hard. remembered feeling his teeth gnawing at your lips as if he wanted to tear them off.
that time hadn't been the first time you saw jeno. you've shared a few classes with him and it strikes you how polar opposites they are with one another.
while jaemin likes to bask in his professor and classmates' recognition by confidently reciting his answers, jeno would rather keep to himself. liked sitting at the last row, near the window, so he'd be the first to go once the professor ends their lecture. while jaemin loved the attention of his fangirls, jeno preferred solitude. while jaemin is impulsive and wild, jeno liked to think things through.
it was within these reasons that you decided to do what you did. but your judgement of character has never been more wrong.
you approached jeno one day in the library, tried to make yourself appear as stoic and confident as possible. but your constant slouching and averting eyes was a dead giveaway.
you came to talk to him about what jaemin has been doing, hoping there's one person left in this entire school that isn't under the cheer captain's trance. the one reasonable person that has already saved you once and (hopefully) is willing enough to save you again. the only one that probably has a certain level of control over jaemin, if the supply closet incident is anything to go by.
but you've overestimated lee jeno.
"you should've just given jaemin what he wanted."
"but—but aren't you two lovers? isn't it bothering you?"
you try baiting him, only for an uncomfortable shiver to start crawling down your spine when he chuckled humorlessly, pushing his school materials to the side while pinning you with an unreadable stare.
how can a person make someone feel so small just by a gaze alone? it was nothing like you've felt with jaemin. this is way worse.
"the only thing that's bothering me is why you're not ours yet."
you feel cold fingers creeping their way under your shirt, going higher and higher until it brushes against your bra. and when your eyes meet, the look on his face was unmistakable—what are you going to do about it, huh?
you stood up in lightning speed, the chair you've been sitting on scraping loudly against the floor.
you've never ran out as fast as you did.
and jeno swears it'll be the last.
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you tried everything in your power to ignore them for the next following weeks but it soon became useless when the two boys took it upon themselves to give you your space.
although judging by the pinpricks you feel on your back, and the constant weight of a stare you feel on your shoulders, you knew they weren't done with you yet. far from it. and for some reason, you just knew they wanted to lull you into a false sense of security first before striking again.
and while they continued to ogle at you from afar like a hawk circling its prey in a desert, you took it upon yourself to return the favor. not because you were the slightest bit interested in those creeps but maybe, just maybe, if you look hard enough you'll find a way out, a weakness.
but what you realized made your insides churn in great discomfort—although it may seem that jeno holds the reins in the relationship since his reserved nature fits the role, it's actually the other way around.
jaemin might appear too self-centered, too focused on himself to give a fuck about his surroundings but in actuality, he has quite a knack for reading people. even more so than jeno. and it was scary how he used it to his advantage, and paired up with his devoted fangirls? it was hell on earth.
you found it alarming how the two seem to magically appear wherever you are.
although you weren't in the least bit surprised. for some reason, you can't take your eyes away when jaemin's devotees flock around him (and jeno) in a circle.
it almost reminds you of a shoal of piranhas, waiting for their meal to drop into the water before ripping it to shreds with their teeth. only their "meal" isn't actual flesh but the carefully crafted words jaemin says that drive them into a sick frenzy.
one that has them doing everything in their power to satisfy him like the loyal dogs they are.
so this was how he got them to bully you?
"oh, that? don't worry! yangyang just ran into me during cheer rehearsal. no biggie. my cheek stung a little bit, though…" is what he said but really he's telling them "scruff him up a bit for me, why don't ya?"
"of course, i can't be the best all the time. haechan is just too good, maybe even better than me…" is what he said but really he's telling them "can you remind him where his place should be?"
all the while jeno did nothing to hold him back.
no matter how wrong jaemin is, how much of an asshole he is, jeno will stick by his side through and through. so as much as jaemin is a puppeteer that gets a kick for controlling people, jeno is as much at fault for looking the other way.
because in jeno's perspective, why the fuck would he do shit when he can just get off from the entertainment that comes with jaemin's sweet little mind games?
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we lost :(
you had been busy sorting through paperwork for one of your professors in the faculty when your friend texted you the results of the intercollegiate cheer dance competition. a frown paints your face, heart feeling heavy at the bad news.
in all honesty, you still supported the pep squad—you just hated the captain and his boyfriend. they've been practicing non-stop for this and prior to the weeks of the competition, jeno looked a lot more tense and jaemin less smiley than usual. you swore you even saw the latter snap at one of his fangirls.
not to mention, they paid less attention to you, too, and it was the best three weeks of your life.
tension starts rising in your shoulders, fingers absentmindedly running through the edge of the papers you had been sorting until you became immersed with your thoughts.
jaemin must be in the worst mood yet.
and jeno too, probably. if anything, that guy gets triggered the most when something bad happens to jaemin or when he catches snippets of people talking shit about his oh so "perfect" boyfriend.
jeno is a lot scarier when jaemin is in one of his mood swings, you noticed. he steps up in the relationship to offer comfort to the other boy and for outsiders? it isn't a great experience to go through—being on the receiving end of jeno's ice cold stare is a position you don't want to find yourself in after that time in the library.
he is still as much a threat to your peaceful life like his lover.
you snap out of it when the blinding headlights of a vehicle seep through the closed blinds. you hear the gentle hum of an engine switching off as the headlights vanished as quick as they had appeared. that must be the cheer squad's bus.
as you look around the empty faculty room, something in your gut tells you to ditch file sorting duty for professor kim tonight and fucking get the hell out of campus grounds as quick as you can.
after haphazardly throwing the unsorted papers back into the cabinet, you groan aloud when the keys to the office drop out of your skirt’s pocket.
the indoor gym where the cheering squad practices is right across the hallway. you sure as hell don't want to bump into jaemin. or jeno, too, if he had decided to ride along the cheer squad's bus on the way home.
you kept looking for the keys underneath the cubicles, cursing aloud when you heard the telltale squeaks of shoes rubbing against linoleum. you almost hit your head against a table when you quickly got back up your feet, darting forward to shut the lights for the faculty room.
they can't know you're here. alone. and if it meant sitting in the dark for a few hours 'till they leave, meant going back home a little later than usual is what you have to do then so be it.
you try not to react so violently when the door you're leaning on jolts when someone from outside slams their back against it.
"it's not like we didn't do our best, right guys? i don't have regrets. it might sound fucking cheesy and although i'm sad myself, atleast we did what we can."
it's jaemin. his voice clear as day.
you try peaking, craning your neck up from your place on the floor. only to see the back of his head leaning against the glass section of the door. someone else joins in on the conversation, followed by coach park himself, and you slowly tune out whatever they're saying as you stealthily start scanning the faculty room.
you curse under your breath. is there no other exit other than this door? jesus christ! even classrooms in this university had two doors—
"what are you doing here?"
the switch flickers on, basking the once dark room with light. only when you hear an echo of your name being called, did you snap out of it and quickly picked yourself up from the floor.
"i said, what are you doing here?"
their coach asks, drilling the question as he looks at you skeptically with his arms crossed. you try not to look at the people behind him.
particularly, not at his cheer captain standing on his right.
particularly, not at jeno, who stands out like a sore thumb with his blue hair, a protective arm snaked around jaemin’s shoulders.
this isn't your lucky day, too, you guess.
"i was…" you cursed yourself for stuttering. "i was, uhm, i was file sorting for prof—professor kim, sir."
coach park looked like he didn't believe you as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. your nerves are going haywire and you can feel the sharp pins of their stare with how close they are.
you kept juggling your weight with the balls of your feet, hands fisting and unfisting behind your back. you want to leave. you have to leave.
"file sorting… in the dark?" he asked incredulously.
fuck this.
"uhm, you can ask professor kim himself tomorrow, coach. for now, uh, i'll be going now. i'm sorry you guys lost…"
originally, the exit is on the right side, at the end of the hallway. but no, you are not going to pass by those two while on your way out so you ducked behind a random student standing on the coach's left instead and practically ran away from the scene.
everyone had been too busy. too busy looking at your retreating form to even notice jaemin and jeno exchanging glances, too busy to notice the latter untangling himself from their captain to slip away unnoticed, his hurried steps filled with a burning purpose.
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you didn't know why you ran, but you did. your shoes practically booming against the floor as you sped away through darkened hallways. you're sweating profusely, heart hammering in your chest. you can worry about professor kim tomorrow but right now you just had to—
"why are you in such a rush, pet?"
crashing into jeno felt like crashing into a wall. if it hadn't been for his arm quickly wrapping around your waist, then you would've landed on your butt before him.
with the small distance between the two of you, jeno could see as clear as day through your eyes.
jaemin was right.
it was addicting to stare into them.
especially when he can see every single one of your thoughts flying through your pretty little head. but hey, it wasn't their fault you were so easy to read.
jeno barely conceals the wicked smirk on his lips when your hands come up to his chest, trying to push him away but to no avail.
he can see your eyes shifting from shock, to confusion, until it finally settles on fear—to which it's slowly becoming a favorite emotion of his to see on your face.
"you know, jaemin is in a really shitty mood right now. and we were wondering, maybe you can cheer us up?"
no. this can't be happening.
"jeno, please." your dilated eyes and disheveled hair made his blood run south. "let me go. you don't want me. you don't need a third party in your relationship."
you yelp when he lets you go, literally shoving you against a wall—which you found out is actually a door, as it swings open as soon as your body crashes against it.
with jeno looming unforgivingly before you in his full height, the tears stung extra hard but you won't let them fall.
if he wanted to bask in the image of your weakness then it'll be something you'll deprive from him for as long as you can.
"i don't need a stupid bitch like you to tell me what i feel." he scoffs. "don't fucking kid yourself, you little whore—i don't want you. i'm not jaemin."
the echo of the classroom door shutting closed surged through you like a wake up call.
this is really happening.
you've always led a decent life, had done nothing too questionable and you've always thought maybe life will spare you if you lived quietly enough. but the feel of jeno's freezing hands crawling against your skin felt like life itself had spat at you in the eye and left you to rot in a ditch.
"i've always liked how you wore skirts," he comments. playing with the ruffled hem of the soft fabric as he purposely grazed his knuckles against your supple thighs. "gives me easy access, don't you agree?"
you scream when he flips your skirt up to reveal the innocent pink of your cotton panties. it was as if a switch had flipped inside of you and the will to fight started coursing through your veins.
"stop! jeno! i don't want this!"
his brows furrow, grunting as he struggles to push the waistline of your skirt up higher with how much you're thrashing underneath him. you buck your hips, tried curling in on yourself, anything to prolong what he wants to do to you.
with your legs trapped underneath his, you blindly reach forward, relying on your upper body instead to push and scratch whatever your palms and nails reached.
you continue screaming like a banshee until he shoved two fingers into your wet cavern.
"stop fighting me," he sounded strained, as if he's holding himself back. you feel him fisting the fabric of your skirt and you fear he's simply going to rip it apart.
you tried responding to him, only the sound had been muffled, gurgled by the flat of his fingers pushing down against your tongue mercilessly. when you reach forward to push him away, your hands land on the apple of his cheeks, nails digging through skin.
until it slips and—
you lie rigid when red scratch marks in the size of your fingernails slowly appear on jeno's skin, his head turned to the side as he paused. your actions slowly start sinking in to him as he shuts his eyes and bit his lip 'till it looked like it was about to bleed.
oh no.
"jeno—"
the slap he planted on your cheek left your ears ringing. all those hard earned muscles of his put to good use—if the tears hadn't fallen for the last few minutes, then it definitely started falling now.
the hit had been so strong, a few of your hair flew astray, the buzzing feeling of your skin tempting you to reach a hand up to soothe your abused cheek.
until jeno let out a low growl and your hand immediately drops limp against your body, afraid of whatever else he can do to you other than a slap.
"that's more like it," he whispers under his breath. you let out the tiniest of whimpers when his hand darts forward to fist your hair. "do you know what happens to bad girls? they fucking get busted up. do you understand me?"
his patience is nonexistent.
jeno slams your head against the floor when you don't answer because you thought his question had been rhetorical. it felt like your skull had been split in two as you wail in pain.
"are you fucking deaf—i asked you a fucking question!"
the hand that cups your jaw is painful as he squeezed your cheek with his blunt nails. your hand shoots up to wrap around his wrist, silently pleading for him to let up as you sobbed out loud. you started nodding as best as you can despite his firm grip on your face.
your reply was nothing short of pathetic. with lips forcefully pursed and the steady stream of your tears and snot rolling down your face, your response is gargled and hardly incoherent and jeno seemed to thoroughly enjoy your anguish if the condescending curl on his lips is anything to go by.
"look at you," he whispers, his face coming close to yours as he holds you down. there was something in the way jeno stared so intently that it made your skin crawl.
"i think you're prettiest when ruined like this."
with his nose touching yours, he felt too close, bordering on intimate as you felt his hand creep back up your thighs, trailing up with feather-like touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin.
you tried wiggling your legs underneath him but one sharp look from jeno is enough to make you stop.
the hand holding your face moves. coming down from gripping your face to encircling his hand around your neck.
"do you like it when i touch you? freaky bitch."
his hands trail further up, up, up until you felt him slotting a finger underneath your panties.
jeno didn't like how frozen you were underneath him as he pulls at the hem before letting go. the elastic snapping back against your skin.
the action evokes a strong feeling through the young male, promising to have you writhing and screaming and begging because by the end of all this, you'll be so needy and frustrated that you will have no choice but to give in to what your body wanted.
"jeno, didn't i tell you to play nice?"
someone stands by the door, the minimal light from the hallway creating a silhouette with his form but you knew who he was. that deep voice, with the same annoying flippant tone, is a dead giveaway.
you didn't know why you even hoped in the beginning. as if there'll be someone who can save you from these two.
you thought the flash of hurt in your eyes was quick to disappear but jeno noticed it quicker.
in a span of seconds, he pulled you up from your position from the ground and tugged you towards his lap. you haven't even gotten the time to settle on your new position when he already smashed his lips against yours.
it was messy. too much saliva. too much teeth. no tenderness to it at all.
the fabric of his jeans felt rough, not to mention the ice cold belt buckle made you severely uncomfortable as it seeps through the thin fabric of your skirt.
when you attempt to hover over his lap, jeno grunts as he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you back down without your lips breaking away from each other. you didn't know why he let out a whine, but you understood the moment you fully sat down on his lap and you felt a tent on his jeans hitting your clothed entrance perfectly.
in a normal circumstance, you would've found everything hot and might've actually gotten off from it but not when it's him who’s doing this to you and you didn’t consent to any of this.
you start squirming again. palms lying flat against jeno's chest as you attempt to push him away and jaemin sees this as the opportune moment to slot himself behind you, caging you in between them.
“i want my turn,” he hisses and without an ounce of hesitation, jeno stops to do what he's told.
jaemin doesn't waste any second to grab your face, awkwardly craning your neck up to meet his lips in the same feverish kiss.
while jeno had been all teeth and aggression, practically forcing you to open your mouth and kiss him back, jaemin on the other hand is more soft, more romantic, you daresay. he seemed to like taking his sweet time by clutching your face, kissing you like he actually meant it.
he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he murmurs something incoherent under his breath and then he's kissing you again.
you think you heard something along the lines of, "finally."
you've been too distracted by jaemin to notice jeno's nimble fingers quickly fumbling with the buttons of your blouse. it was only when you feel the sensation of his tongue laving against the swell of your breast did you turn away from jaemin, jerking backward in surprise.
"no—!"
your scream is cut off by a hand cupping your mouth. jaemin pulls your back towards his chest, molding your body against his as jeno licked and suckled all he wanted, thankful to have the other boy there to not worry about restraining you and keeping you quiet while he has his fun.
"ah, ah, ah," jaemin teases, going hard over the pleading and teary look you sent his way. it looked pathetic, he wasn't going to lie, but it doesn't mean he didn't love it. "just keep still and appreciate jeno's efforts to take care of you, alright baby?"
you don't like how he talked as if this was all a mutual thing, how he talked slowly like you were some toddler who didn't understand anything.
it's cruel how jaemin giggled and basked in your vulnerable state as he kept his eyes pinned on you while undoing the zipper of your skirt. your muffled cries of his name only serving to egg him on.
the way he stared was similar to jeno, too intently and intrusive, like he wants to burn your image of despair in the back of his head.
you whined involuntarily when jeno got bored of all the licking and thus decided to start biting and nipping at your chest instead. he was hypnotised by how responsive you were, how every little bite and nibble made you shudder.
it was a shame that jaemin had to cover your mouth. he didn't get to hear your pretty mewls but it wasn't as if he'd let the night end without hearing them loud and clear.
jaemin is fast in undressing you, feeling slightly betrayed by how quick your skirt and blouse fell under his hands.
you know what he wants, what he's going to do, and the tears fall harder when you can't dodge away from him. forced to endure and accept whatever they give you.
"you act like you don't like it but look how fucking wet you are," you bit your lip hard when jaemin starts circling the pads of his fingers against your clit, fascinated by how more juices streamed down your thighs.
"jeno, do you see this? fuck."
you can only blink in defeat, staring off to the side as you force down any noise bubbling up your throat, forcing yourself to think of anything else other than what's happening right now.
you try not to think about how they managed to tear all of your clothes off while they're left completely dressed. tried not to think about the fingers lazily drawing up and down your slit to collect your essence.
if they're doing this as a way to further humiliate you, it's working.
"slut," jeno mocked, a wicked curl on his lips when he wraps his fingers around your throat. the moment he dives down to claim your lips again is the same time jaemin pushes two fingers inside you.
"look at how wet you are because of me," jaemin whispers hot against your ear and you feel a sick churn in your stomach when you feel his smile against your skin.
he purposely drives his fingers in and out quicker, settjng a brutal pace, wanting you to hear the lewd squelching sounds. "hear that? do you hear that, darling? that's because of me—"
"don't go talking big now, jaem," jeno retorts, pulling away from your lips to start nibbling on the back of your ear. "i was here first. did you see how she fucking reacted when i sucked on her tits?"
you're quick to catch how jeno particularly loved degrading you. but how he talks about you as if you're literally not in front of him naked made you hit a new all-time low.
you felt… filthy.
his hands find purchase on your butt—only because jaemin has already claimed the front. for now.
you close your eyes tight when he painfully squeezes the flesh of your ass. you swear, his blunt nails will paint your skin black and blue.
"i'm the favorite!"
"i'm the favorite!"
as someone who's part of a varsity team, you already knew a competitive nature runs through jaemin's veins. but never had you thought jeno would share the same sentiment. once again they prove that they're cut from the same cloth.
all of a sudden it wasn't all about claiming you as theirs anymore rather it was all about who can make you moan the loudest, who can make you cum the most, who can make you feel the dirtiest you can be.
you're absolutely terrified for the hours to come.
thankfully, they have yet to ask for your verbal opinion or validation. they let your body do all the talking—every repressed shudder and sharp gasp is enough.
but it's game over once they pop the million dollar question.
"who do you like best?"
you don't want to find out the consequences if you actually answered their question because you didn't know what could be worse.
jaemin's manipulation or jeno's aggression?
but it was all normal. trial and error is inevitable in order to build and mold you into the ideal lover for the both of them.
because adding someone new to the mix has never been easy—after all, three's a crowd.
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serpenteve · 3 years ago
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I'm having the horrible realization that Aleksander never actually did any serious wooing of Alina in the books. It's all just Alina her self being horny attracted to him. But this is supposedly???? His grand scheme???? Of manipulation???? Implications! It seems like the girls in these books wasn't the only one slut shamed. I'm- ☠
Leigh wrote a man sexy and captivating and said "it's his fault, actually, that Alina got a crush on him. He shouldn't of.... uh.." Flips through papers. "Ah, had such pretty eyes."
Okay! 👀Yes, we are finally doing this!
I'm flipping through my copy of Shadow & Bone and noting down all the interactions between the Darkling and Alina which I've put in chronological order beneath the cut.
First of all, the Darkling and Alina are only alone together in about a handful of scenes. Most of the time, the are surrounded by other Grisha or Baghra or are in a public place. A lot of the Darkling's actions and words are clouded by Alina's own insecurities. She constantly voices how she feels like she's not good enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough and he takes it in stride and gently encourages and placates her. There are a few lies he does tell her (that the Black Heretic was his ancestor, that he wants to destroy the Fold, and he doesn't know what Baghra's power is, etc) but if we extrapolate the trajectory of her ill-fated romance arc, I think even book!Darkling would have told Alina about his real plans if she seemed like she'd accept them.
A lot of speculation has been made about the Darkling's seduction of Alina and honestly???? Aleksander literally just exists and Alina is thirsting for him because she's desperately looking for validation and re-assurance. I initially head-canoned his first kiss by the lake as being pure calculation and the kiss at the Winter Fete being 100% accidental (because Dark Lord Sasha played himself lmao) but on this re-read, I don't even know anymore. He already came close to almost kissing her after they have a tender moment, catches himself and then immediately leaves before he can catch feelings. Then when they share another tender moment at the lake, he kisses her and then is surprised by it and before he can really process it, Ivan comes by to cockblock.
Like, even Leigh (as much as she has shit on this ship) said at one point that the Darkling has strong feelings for Alina, even if he may not necessarily quantify them as love. So looking back, I don't read anything the Darkling did as manipulative seduction. He obviously lied about some stuff and wasn't transparent about his real plans for the Fold, but as a military commander who sees Alina as an opportunity for a coup, it makes sense that he'd play that a little close to the chest---especially when Alina has proved to be wary of his powers and has a very black-and-white sense of morality. If anything, this is less "the Darkling seduced Alina to manipulate her into being used!!11" and more "local dark lord tried to encourage his protege and accidentally caught feelings and it was a mASSIVE FUCKING INCONVENIENCE TO HIS EVIL PLANS"
But you know who does slut-shame Alina a lot? Baghra. Seriously, Baghra makes Alina feel like shit for her crush on the Darkling numerous times. She has all these lines:
"You want to be [his pet]...Don’t bother lying to me. You’re like all the rest. I saw the way you looked at him."
"Dreaming of dancing with your dark prince?"
"Foolish girl." (After Alina shamefully admits the Darkling might come to her that night)
At one point Baghra creeps on Alina and the Darkling's interactions and even though literally nothing happens between them and when the Darkling leaves, Alina catches Baghra giving her a snooty look. ("For no reason at all, I blushed")
She is determined to shame Alina for her feelings and make her feel like a lovesick idiot for daring to crush on him and this is in addition to all the slut-shaming Mal does. The narrative revealing the Darkling is the bad guy all along while leaving Alina no compelling arc to discover this on her own feels very much like Leigh hitting us all with Baghra's stick, like "Foolish girls! You thought he cared about Alina just because he has a sexy jawline??? HAHA HE LIED YOU SLUTS"
Scenes with Alina and the Darkling in Book 1
Their first scene together is in the Grisha tent. Based on Alina's description of him, she already thinks he's hot as barely any other character in this godforsaken series gets so many descriptions of their grey/smoke/slate/quartz eyes as Aleksander does 😏
The next time they're together he saves her life. Alina is traumatized from seeing a man sliced in half and the Darkling instructs her to keep her eyes on him instead. She is disturbed that he killed the person about to murder her and this aversion seems incredibly contrived and arbitrary on behalf of the author. It's almost like she wants Alina to be vindicated and shamed for not trusting her initial bigotry against him or something 🤔The Darkling admits even he can make mistakes and then he touches the back of Alina's neck (with some secret Heartrender/Healer abilities?) and she falls asleep riding on his horse.
They spend the next few days traveling. Alina notes that the Darkling hasn't spoken to her (probably because he's focused on getting her to the Little Palace without any more assassination attempts) but Alina is a paranoid she's offended him somehow. Again, this is just Alina's insecurity painting a narrative that simply doesn't exist based on what actually happened so far.
They exchange a few words by the stream and Alina fishes for pity points by saying she's ugly and can't possibly be Grisha. Aleksander appears 100% done with her stupidity and says she doesn't understand but he's not in the mood to explain at the moment and walks off ☠️
Alina joins the Darkling and his men for a meal. She notes that the grouse they've killed is meager shared meal but that the Darkling doesn't want to put his men in danger by sending them out to hunt in the forest at night 😌He also sits on the floor to eat like they do and he doesn't take more than the regular portion than they do 😌. Sorry, how is this man the most ~evil~ wizard on the planet? He is obviously a good and fair commander and beloved by the Grisha.
Alina has been checking Aleksander out the entire time so when he catches her, he walks over to talk. He fishes around for information on what Alina has heard about him. He seems sad when Alina mentions she has heard that Darklings are born without souls, though not surprised. He then spins the story about the Black Heretic being his ancestor and how the Fold was a mistake and how every Darkling since then has tried to undo it and how Alina is "the first glimmer of hope" he's had in a long time.
Because Alina is still on that "Grisha are unnatural monsters" agenda, she asks him about the Cut and he explains it but she's still distrubed. He asks her if it would have been better if he used a sword and she replies: "I don't know". The Darkling gets offended and leaves. Alina tries to convince herself she can't have possibly hurt his feelings (because Darklings don't have souls or feelings?) and then feels paranoid that she's failed some secret test. Yeah, the test you failed is called "empathy", Alina 🙄
Two days later, they arrive at Os Alta. Aleksander roasts the Grand Palace as the ugliest effing building he's ever seen. He leaves immediately after dumping Alina at the Little Palace and Alina actually seethes that he isn't paying more attention to her? I understand that it's overwhelming to go to a brand new place, but Alina expecting him to constantly hold her hand and explain everything to her after she basically insulted him is a bit strange.
The next time Alina sees the Darkling, they are scheduled to appear before the King and Queen. The demonstration is a surprise for Alina and Aleksander's lack of transparency of what's expected of her means she's forced to rely on him and trust his instincts. This might be his underhanded way of getting Alina to see that she can trust him; that he will not make her look like a failure or humiliate her; that they are in this together and it will only work if she trusts him.
After the demonstration, Genya and the Darkling trash the monarchy for a bit (Alina is horrified) and then the Darkling orders Genya to get a black kefta for Alina, to which Alina infamously wants a blue one. The Darkling doesn't really put up much of a fight, merely wanting to know why. Alina decides he doesn't approve of her choosing blue and wonders to Genya if he's angry.
After Alina's first day, the Darkling calls her to his quarters to ask her how her day was. Alina is surprised that this is all he wanted to know because she was paranoid he was going to torture her??? She says: "Why shouldn't I be afraid of you?...You can cut people in half. I think it's fair to be a little intimidated." If the Darkling is offended or angry about this, he doesn't show it and merely indulges her. He notes that she has a habit of running her hand across a scar on her palm and asks her about it, tracing the scar himself. Alina gets distracted by his touch but manages to answer his questions: she got the scar at Keramzin, Mal is also an orphan, he is good at tracking. He shows her a secret passage back to her rooms to avoid the main hall.
Alina starts her training and at one point laments that the Darkling is rarely at the Little Palace and when he is, he never speaks to her or barely looks her way and she is convinced it's because she's a failure and can't summon light on her own. It could also be because, you know, he's the commander of the Second Army and is usually seen in talks with other military advisors and the fact that Alina kinda lowkey insulted him with her wariness about his powers???
The next time they are together, Alina interrupts him and Baghra arguing. He politely asks her how she is. Baghra antagonizes her. The Darkling defends her. They talk about amplifiers and because Baghra is being a snarky little shit about it, they take their conversation outside.
Aleksander complains about how annoying his mom is and then asks Alina what stories she's heard about Morozova's herd. At one point he laughs for the first time and Alina practically creams her pants at the sound. Alina expresses her concerns that she can't summon any light and the Darkling says he's not worried and it will happen when it happens and worse case scenario, it will happen once she has the stag. They have a quiet intimate moment, gazing softly into each other's eyes and then suddenly Aleksander realizes he's catching feelings and steps back suddenly like "GoodLuckWithYourLessonsOKayBYE". Baghra watches this interaction from her hut and gives Alina a slut-shaming look.
Alina eventually does learn to summon light on her own. Baghra gives her grief about how it's not enough. The Darkling shows up during one of these lessons and says as much. Alina says she's useless. The Darkling corrects her (“I don't think you're useless, Alina....No Grisha is powerful enough to face the Fold. Not even me”) and then he apologizes for letting her down ("I've asked you to trust me and I haven't delivered"). He wonders if his mother is right and he's crazy to hunt the stag. They have a nice bonding moment, Aleksander lies about Baghra's power, and then he asks if Alina would think him crazy for still wanting to find the stag. She asks why he cares what she thinks, he seems genuinely surprised himself that he cares. Then he kisses her. He seems not to have meant to kiss her because then Ivan shows up for his 5 o'clock shift of cockblocking and the Darkling immediately pretends like nothing happened and walks away with him. Like dude is acting like a fucking dork who's allergic to feelings at this point. I should note here that Alina practically has an orgasm from how giddy she is about this moment. She can barely think of anything else.
The next time they're together, it's at the Winter Fete. They do their demonstration and Alina accidentally reveals her insecurities about how he had kissed her and then disappeared. He responds, "Did you really think I was done with you?" and then they enjoy some steamy kisses and thigh grabbing in an empty room before a random round of Grisha show up for their 6 o'clock shift of cockblocking. Aleksander is annoyed at his own attraction to Alina. He asks if he can come to her that night but Alina doesn't get a chance to respond.
and then the Darklina romance arc falls off a giant cliff and dies a terrible death 😭😭😭
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mod2amaryllis · 3 years ago
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saur..... I've been thinking about becoming a veterinarian technician and is it worth it? I'm so lost and confused but for some reason I look to you for advice. Please help
PHEWWWW boy ok well. listen. here's the- listen
when i meet ppl curious about vetmed, i try to be completely honest, wanna give you the info you won't get from school or a job interview. specifically in small animal general practice (dogs/cats, some exotics) since that's all i've ever done.
first let me outline the negatives because you should really be aware of them: it is one of the hardest jobs. like just in general. i say that after comparing a variety of careers w/ the many working ppl in my life. it is maybe THE hardest, and not for the stereotypical reasons.
the physical labor is very very intense. 10-12 hour shifts on your feet, often zipping around, and if not that you're standing in one place doing mentally strenuous shit (like monitoring anesthesia, charting, drug calculations). you're always bent over something. you're often on the floor. repeatedly lifting 20, 40, 60, 150 pound dogs, or restraining them. i CANNOT overstate how demanding it is. this was the thing that i was least prepared for coming out of school.
it's scary, which sucks because it's vital to be brave lmao. reactive cats/dogs are STRAIGHT UP SCARy but if you're VISIBLY SCARED, they'll be worse. this is the thing i have the hardest time training into new techs.
it's emotionally grueling. most new ppl assume i'm referring to euthanasia--i am absolutely not. euthanasia is something you'll come to your own terms with. (for me, i consider it an honor to be part of something so difficult and personal. i take it very seriously and feel what i feel. some ARE very hard but most are peaceful.) no no no man I'm talking about the often low pay, the endless work load that's seeing a constant rise in demand with a national lack of staff to handle it, the lack of understanding from the general public about what your job is ("i'd love to work with puppies and kittens all day! 🥰"), the bad owners over whom you have very little power, the smell of infection, the rare Truly Traumatizing Case, the fact that you're doing everything dude! everything! you're a nurse of every specialty now and all your patients have sharp teeth and can't talk, congratulations
...............ok
now i will outline the positives
here is the thing. the good news. i'm actually in a cool place w/ my job right now. almost 7 years and a significant cut to my hours later, i'm smiling at work. i'm humming and shit. i'm seeing the reasons i'm still in it, and that's kinda nice.
it's important work. for me this is huge. you're making a positive difference in the world and, more importantly, in your community. i'm lucky enough to work at a vet-owned established practice that has a strong foothold in the area. i greet clients by name and ask them how they've been, and then maybe they ask your name so they can say "well thank you for everything [name] ^^" and that's always cool. it's good work, objectively.
this isn't true for everyone, but for me covid helped me realize that the physicality does have a plus side. while other people were dealing with the horrors of isolation and being sedentary, i was active, i had a routine and constant stimulation. YES this also destroyed my body and mind to some degree, but without it i would've sunk in the other direction. basically: you will be at the very least be stimulated, don't even sweat about that lol.
EMPLOYEE DISCOUNTS BABEY!
and...siiigh Ok Yes There Are A Certain Amount Of Puppies And Kittens.
we're all here cuz we love animals, like no need to mention that as motivation, because yeah man obviously water is wet. for a long time i was jaded about this part of it, the work was just SO stressful that it was hard to focus on anything besides the ways some patients make it harder. but looking back at the grand scope, the MAJORITY of patients are compliant. all of them are there because they have a person who loves them. they are all animals and baby, we love animals. yesterday we did 4 rabbit spay/neuters and they were all so fucking soft dude! i know a mastiff named Olivia who we've done way too many medical procedures on and still, every time she comes in, she's a 100lb bundle of joy and kisses. there's a pair of chihuahuas who come in every 2 weeks for nail trims named Princess and Pumpkin, one is skinny (Pumpkin) and one is fat (Princess). sometimes cats meow in a disgruntled way like they're leaving a bad review after waking up from anesthesia. sometimes there are rats <3333333 !!! i've purred while restraining an angry cat and it's calmed them down. i've said goodbye to patients i loved so much their owners gave me photographs to remember them (i still think about u grumpy Bunnie).
like!!! take heart, there are animals
there you go shit ton of words. i like typing words sorry. just, idk man it's complicated and very fucking hard. it's been a constant up and down, i've almost quit more than once, but ultimately i'm happy i'm still here, because along with some of the hardest times in my life work has provided me many of the BEST things about my life. feeling accomplished and skillful in my career, lasting friendships, healthcare for my animals, straight up most OF my animals (frisk and goose were clinic surrenders, joanie just happened to be the first puppy on petfinder the same day of a very difficult euth that made me go "i have to get a fucking dog")
it's up to you dude. i don't want this to scare you, just equip you for the tubular highs and bogus lows, good luck out there either way
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t0wnspersonb · 4 years ago
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Fallin in Love (Akaashi Keiji x Reader)
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Anonymous said:
hello 😬 if ur taking requests rn, can i request akaashi who is in love with a nekoma manager since first yr and every training camp he tries flirts with her being the calm and confident king he is, but girl is too shy and she kinda clumsy
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Word Count: 2,048
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I love Akaashi with all my fucking heart😭😭😭 He will forever be one of my best boys. I hope I was able to write this how you wanted anon! Sorry for my shit writing lmao.
I’m slowly working my way through my requests while also working on some more content for you guys so stay tuned!
As always, please let me know what you think and I hope you guys have a good weekend!😘😘😘
~~~~
A soft smile twitched at Akaashi’s lips as he stared at you frantically apologizing to Yamamoto who was waving you off in a panic as well.
 You had bumped into him, causing all the volleyballs in his arms to fall to the floor, bouncing away. 
 It was all accidental, an easy mistake that could be fixed, but the absolute horror and panic on your face made it seem like you had shot someone.
 But it was just how you were. Similar to a squeaky, frantic mouse; incredibly cute and small; it was endearing.
 You were endearing.
 So despite how annoying training camps were; between Bokuto and Kuroo, and the endless practice matches, there was one thing - well one person - that he was looking forward to. 
 And that was you. He met you last year, at the annual training camp with all the powerhouse schools in Tokyo. 
 Looking back at it now, you were still just as shy and clumsy as you were now, maybe even more so back then. But you were still incredibly cute, incredibly beautiful, and sweet, that never changed.
 His infatuation with you never changed either. You were quiet, something he had immediately gravitated to when you were introduced to the rest of the teams as the new Nekoma manager.
 But when he started to get to know you, well, he couldn’t help the feelings that began to bubble up in his chest.
 He had started his quiet pursuit as soon as he realized his feelings; quiet because he didn’t want Kuroo or Bokuto making any unnecessary ruckus about it, and he didn’t want to startle you.
 Although, his gentle flirting never seemed to register in your brain. 
 He had some hope though, considering that you were clumsier when you were around him, extremely nervous and red-faced when he talked to you.
 Like now.
 “How were your exams Y/n-san?” Akaashi asked politely, sharp eyes holding nothing but interest as he gazed at you.
 “They went f-f-fine. I th-think… I c-could’ve done better a-at th-the mathematics.” You stuttered out, eyes glancing away from him as you fumbled about with the ball in your hands. “What about y-you, Akaashi-san?”
 Akaashi took in the way your brows furrowed, your lips unconsciously quirking into a small pout at whatever it was you were thinking about with the exams. A soft smile began to coat his face, you were just far too perfect.
 “They went fine. I’m not worried. You shouldn’t be either Y/n-san, you’re very smart and pretty, I’m sure you did fine.” he said easily, watching in amusement as your face slowly began turning bright red.
 Did he… did he call you pretty?
 He did. He definitely did, and so smoothly too…
 “I’ll see you around, don’t work too hard.” he said, long fingers reaching out to touch your elbow gently before running off to his teammates.
 You watched his retreating back, blinking slowly before your hands came up to rest against your burning cheeks.
 “Oi, Y/n-chan! What are you spacing out for? We need to finish cleaning up.” Kuroo called out, grabbing the ball that dropped from your hands.
 “S-Sorry senpai!” you squeaked out, rushing off to help the team, stumbling about, causing Yaku to yell at you to be more careful.
 ****
 “Hey, Y/n-chan, we have a question for you.” Suzumeda said, sitting down next to you in the managers room, Shirofuku trailing behind her with a bag of chips in hand.
 You looked at her in curiosity, setting down the book in your hands. “Y-Yes?”
You were entirely familiar with the two managers of Fukurodani, considering the endless practice matches your two teams participated in together. They were incredibly kind, but from the look in Suzumeda eyes, well you knew that they were plotting something.
 “Do you like Akaashi?” 
 Your expression must’ve been something entirely amusing because the two girls began giggling.
 “W-Why would you ask me that!?” You asked in embarrassment. 
 “You guys are always staring at each other or talking with each other.” Shirofuku mused, tossing more chips into her mouth.
 “You’re mistaken, Akaashi-san is just a friend.” you said quietly.
 The two girls shared a pointed look before directing their gaze back to you.
 “Well how do you feel about our setter?” Shirofuku pressed on.
 That’s right, how did you feel?
 You had always thought that Akaashi was incredibly kind and talented, his intelligence was almost intimidating to you, those calculating eyes were just as beautiful as they were dangerous. That was another thing, Akaashi was quite possibly the most beautiful person you had ever met.
 His dark hair was perfectly tousled and looked incredibly soft, there were moments where you wondered if it was soft. There were moments where you noticed him fidgeting with his fingers and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to hold his hand…
 Oh.
 Maybe… maybe you did like him.
 “E-Even if I d-did like him, he w-wouldn’t l-like me back.” you mumbled, picking up your book once again, signaling that you no longer wanted to talk about this any longer.
 You hadn’t noticed the sly grins that coated their faces as they called goodnight towards you before leaving the room.
 That’s right, even if you had feelings for Akaashi that didn’t mean that he would return them.
 Right?
 ****
 “Good morning Y/n-san.” Akaashi greeted softly, one of his hands running through his damp hair.
 You were passing by the bathrooms, on your way to the cafeteria to help prepare breakfast with the other managers when you had almost run into the said male.
 “G-Good morning Akaashi-san.” you said quietly.
 A half-smile twitched onto his lips, before he titled his head to the side in curiosity. His hand reached out, gently grabbing at the hair that was draped over your shoulders. You could feel the gentle brush of his fingertips against the side of your neck as he brushed the hair off your shoulders.
 “I’ve never seen you with your hair down before… it looks good.” he said quietly, those sharp blue eyes seemed to stare straight into your heart, analyzing you completely. 
 Which was why his hand rested softly on your shoulder, carefully trailing down your arm and gently grasping at your elbow, squeezing softly before releasing you completely. A teasing smile grazing his lips as he took in your flushed, nervous form.
 Akaashi knew he was toeing the line of boundaries, but he wanted to test the waters, and seeing how you reacted to his touch and his compliment… maybe he needed to be a bit bolder.
 You could feel his lingering touch, goosebumps erupting over your body, and you had to resist the strong urge to shiver, heat lingering over where he had touched you.
 “T-Thank you Akaashi-san! I’ll see you at breakfast!” You squeaked, running off, stumbling over your own feet as you ran towards the cafeteria.
 A soft laugh escaped his lips as he watched your retreating figure, his head shaking. He would definitely have to step up his game if he wanted to get his feelings across.
 ****
 Akaashi’s gentle touches seemed to escalate the longer the training camp went on, they were subtle touches, no one even noticing the newfound attention you were receiving. Akaashi planned it that way, he already knew that his managers suspected something from the way they would smirk at him, but the rest of his teammates were oblivious. 
 That was the last thing he needed in his pursuit of you.
 They would surely scare you off if they knew.
 There were times where he felt a bit guilty at his lingering touches, he had never seen someone turn so red before, but he couldn’t help it.
 Of course, he enjoyed the gentle interactions, the soft touches, he was a man after all, but there was so much that he could take.
 His obvious flirting seemed to go over your head, and maybe his touches were beginning to as well.
 All you knew was that you were going to die if he kept this up. Your poor heart couldn’t handle it any longer either.
 “- the cafeteria will be closing soon.” Shirofuku mused as you guys stopped in front of gymnasium 3.
 The boys immediately stopped what they were doing running off towards the cafeteria, hollering at one another.
 This seemed to be routine in the last couple of days, only this time, you were with the Fukurodani managers.
 “Are you coming to the baths Y/n-chan?” Suzumeda asked, pausing when she realized you weren’t walking with them anymore.
 “Umm… in a bit. I’m going to h-help Akaashi-san clean up.” you said nervously, bowing to the two girls before entering the gym.
 “D-Do you need help?” you stuttered out, making your presence known to the dark-haired male.
 He stood up from where he was picking up the balls, a surprised look crossing his features before something soft and gentle melted across.
 “If you want to.” he said quietly, watching your form as you began gathering the rest of the balls up, bumping them into the bin easily.
 “It’ll get down f-faster with t-two people.” You said, tone soft. 
 The rest of the cleanup was filled with a comfortable silence, lingering touches being shared every now and then. 
 You were in the storage room now, your hands resting on the edge of the ball cart, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you started to become lost in thought.
 Your heart was definitely racing, this was possibly the longest time you’ve ever spent alone with Akaashi.
 Did he… did he like you?
 He was just being kind, there was no way that he would be interested in clumsy little you.
 “Y/n-san?” his soft voice caused you to flail about in surprise; not only did you fall to the floor but the mop and broom were knocked over, causing Akaashi to rush to grab them before they toppled over your form that was now sitting on the floor.
 You blinked up at him.
 Akaashi stared at you in worry, squatting down in front of you. “Did you get hurt? I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m sorry.” he said frowning, elegant fingers reaching out to brush the hair out of your face.
 “I’m f-fine. Y-You don’t need to a-apologize.” You said sweetly, although your face was incredibly red.
 Silence fell over you once again, but somehow the room seemed thick with something…. Tension? You weren’t entirely sure. But the room buzzed and felt heavy around the two of you.
 You were hyper aware of his close proximity, you could feel his body heat radiating into yours, the scent of his laundry detergent wafting into your nose along with the smell of sweat, and something incredibly delicious.
 Was that… was that cologne?
 Your stomach twisted pleasantly, he was so close, way too close.
 “Y/n-san.” He murmured your name softly, his hand coming up to rest against the side of your face, gently sliding down to cup you along your jaw.
 Akaashi was suddenly shifting closer to you.
 “I like you.” he whispered, his lips brushing softly against your own before carefully pressing down against yours.
 A surprised noise escaped your mouth, your eyes fluttering shut. Immediately your hands reached out for him, gently resting against the base of his neck, feeling the soft tickle of sweat against the palms of your hands, before sliding up into his sweat dampened hair and… oh. His hair was incredibly soft. Your fingers easily tangle into the hairs behind his head.
 The kiss deepened from this movement. 
 Akaashi was everywhere. His touch, his taste, his smell, it was overwhelming. His lips moved carefully against your own, soft and warm, his tongue poking through your lips every now and then, his teeth gently biting into your lower lip.
 Your heart was going to explode, could you die from a kiss? Maybe you would be the first person to experience that.
 You were sure of it, especially when he pulled you closer, his other hand resting on your shoulder, tugging you closer between his legs.
 Would he give you more?
 You definitely wanted more.
 You definitely wanted -
 “Akaashi! What are you doing!?”
 “Oi! Get off my manager!”
 Forget dying from a kiss, you would surely die from embarrassment. 
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years ago
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wait jamil/azul/riddle? 👀 im intrigued
fjjkfdasjkdfjkljkldfjklkljd yes i felt compelled to meme them,, bc i love them,,,
listen [takes ur face in my hands] LISTEN TO ME!!! i just think theyre NEAT!!! i'll yell under the cut in Detail bc ill probably get Rambly
so. unless youre new here i probs dont need to explain the jamil/azul part LOL [but i mean... i WILL.... i CAN... im always locked and loaded to scream about those two l o l jfdlks] [gestures to second half of book 4 and a few scenes early book 5] [gestures to jamils lab coat vignette + azuls PE vignette] [gestures to jamils masterchef/cullinary crucible vignette which isnt in engtwst yet] [gestures to a brief but really funny scene in book 6] [gestures to a brief scene in floyd's ceremony robes vignette] god when will jamil be a buddy for one of azuls cards [it's floyd that buddys azuls PE card even tho hes not in that story lol]. WHEN will they have a duo SSR attack. i will lose my mind the day that they do, mark my words.
riddle/azul is something ive lowkey always liked but it's grown a lot more recently. riddle honestly is just SO funny with any of the fish trio kldsjf. but like, he and azul are each other's dorm outfit card duo partner, and wayyyy back in the prologue theyre the ones that team up and chase grim down when he's running loose. they both respect each other's skills/intellect, like im p sure in that prologue when someone was like "oh riddle good work with grim" he was like "no, that was due to azuls quick thinking" [or maybe azul said it about riddle, idr lol]
and, i wont get into details/spoilers since neither of these are out in engtwst, but the second halloween event and book 6 both showed that riddle and azul see each other as rivals / respect each other, but also love to bully each other kjlfsdjklfjkdslfjdsj. got there are so many good moments between them in those stories. they spend a lot of time together in book 6 especially, so that's had them on my mind again more often, and i cant wait to play them when they reach engtwst :'D
and then jamil/riddle kinda have that 'no nonsense' vibe about them. like on one hand, i know jamil expressed empathy with trey once [a vignette story but i forget which one - treys ceremony robes MAYBE?] bc the two of them have housewardens that are a handful LOL rip riddle, BUT!!! there's also a vignette [pulls out my phone actually i cant remember which one LOL]
ok yea i was right lmao , riddle's PE uniform story has jamil like "oh hi, thanks riddle for babysitting kalim" and riddles like "no problem, you deserve a break sometimes" [rip kalim who's just like :D???? huh???] anyway also rereading that reminded me that jamil also in that one manages to diffuse the situation of riddle almost getting mad at kalim, by shutting kalim up and being like "hey riddle since youre so good at flying can you. do that. can u show us right now please" and then he does and kalim and jamil are like "damn hes real good at flying" and it's CUTE!! i mean, calculated moves on jamils part l o l but i still think it's sweet he's acknowledging riddles skill and had the ability to handle riddle's temper pretty smoothly.
ALSO riddle and jamil both bicker with azul a lot and i just think that's a funny thing they have in common fkdljfdklsj i love joking with people that theyre the anti fish alliance, two Red Dorm Boys that are Bothered By Fish Boys. and YET. it'd be cute if they held hands with fish boys 😌 and each other 😌 jkldfsfjl
ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!! i am pppppretty sure it's been said in a few different instances that octavinelle and scarabia, and possibly one or both of them + with heartslabyul, are like test score rivals usually. riddle himself i believe is like top of his year in every academic subject or something. azul and jamil are also shown and stated to be Very Smart as well, and i just want the three of them to be rivals so bad post book 4 when jamil is Unleashed lol.
also riddle and jamil are just 2 of my top 5 fave characters in twst SO. i think about them a lot. begrudgingly azuls probably also in the top 10 with the tweels bc theyre funny 😒😔😤but im mad about it LOL. god. i did not like the fish boys at all when i started twst but theyre just so fucking funny all the time. and i do love comedic potential so the fact that jamil and riddle are 2 characters that Get Annoyed with azul is Very Funny for me. i think they should unionize in their polycule jkfldfjsdlkj
okay okay okay im gonna stop here or else i will keep adding things Forever BYE!!!!!!!!!!
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queenlua · 3 years ago
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hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!
huh, an interesting question, ty!
i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.
given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.
(stuff under cut because long)
first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.
if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.
(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)
the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.
i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.
also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.
it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.
(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)
anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.
this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)
here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.
also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)
(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)
if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code
"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:
microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.
cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz
the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)
ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.
azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials
also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?
oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing
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kingleedo · 3 years ago
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check in tag 👑
I was tagged by my lovely @soonhoonsol 🥰
why did you choose this URL?
because I wanted to go with something Leedo related but leedo and geonhak were taken (but idk if I even tried it lmao). I also have a slight obsession with kings and stuff, so idk it somehow felt natural. And kingleedo sounds nice. Anyways, then I googled the member profiles and it was pointed out that Woong gave him that king Sejeong related nickname about being the creator of Hangeul. And I was like SO IT'S PERFECT!!!
do you have any sideblogs?
no, totally not a fan of sideblogs hahaha. I do have other blogs, tho. @kmvkxn is my personal which I almost never use now
how long have you been on tumblr?
in general, around 10 years.
do you have a queue tag?
not a fan of queues, either haha. but if I had one it would probably be something basic like q or queue
why did you start this blog in the first place?
because I got freshly into kpop after a break, my personal was already too exposed. for a time being it had the same URL as my Instagram username. And for the first time in my life I kinda wanted a member/group-oriented account so I was like I AM CREATING A NEW TUMBLR lmao but I failed since it became a multi anyways, but god knows I try to make sure that ONEUS content takes at least 60-70% of the stuff I post about.
why did you choose this pfp?
for a long time, I wanted my blog to be fancy as feck, like you know living up to the name. But this bish Geonhak doesn't run around wearing a crown (like he should). So I took matters into my own hands. ISTG if I ever go to their live fan sign I'm bringing 50 crowns for my king!
why did you choose your header?
SO IF YOU GO TO MY PERSONAL (and if you were to see ALMOST all of the blogs that I have ever had on this site), you'd see that I'm a hoe for black/red color palette. This theme looked so nice in black/grey at first tho. But then they dropped teasers for Black Mirror and when I saw Keonhee in a red suit, I lost it. And I was like IF LEEDO IS IN RED I AM CHANGING MY COLOR PALETTE so here we are :) it's only logical that I chose his teaser for the header.
what’s your post with most notes?
based on tumblr calculations it's the photoset I did for Woong which can be found here. Lmao I'm not like tumblr famous so idk man hahaha
how many mutuals do you have?
I don't count them, honestly. Almost all my followers are my mutuals, I love to follow people back. But if we were to talk about people I talk to, I'd say around 20-25 people
how many followers do you have?
currently, 139
following?
191
do you make shit posts?
bold of you to assume I don't. My whole life, whole existence is one big shitpost ahahahha
how long do you use tumblr each day?
it depends. but you can bet my ass I spend almost all my free time here.
did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
Nope. I don't think so. Never in my life got anon hate, too. There's a joke that only popular blogs get anon hate lmao hahha (THO ANON HATE IS NOT FUNNY KIDS, DON'T BE DICKS)
how do you feel ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
most of the time I have this "Don't tell me what to do" attitude. But if it's a signal boost or a support post (basically anything that has good intentions), I'd reblog it.
do you like tag games?
yes, but they pile up in my likes because I love them and I'm like OH MY GOD SOMEDAY I'LL GET TO THIS ONE 100% but then I either forget or life happens or I get distracted :') BUT I NOTICE THEM ALL AND I REALLY LOVE THAT PEOPLE TAG ME IN THOSE <3
do you like ask games?
of course!! But I don't do them often, because I don't want to disappoint people who send the asks in. (in case I forget or smth ;;)
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
idk about that but I do believe that all my mutuals deserve to be tumblr famous. Especially the CC crew! They all make amazing works, be it gif making, video editing, edits, writing, drawings. You guys make this place a better place and it wouldn't exist without you all!
do you have a crush on a mutual?
no, lmao. I mean you all beautiful and amazing and I love you so much! jfc look at me friendzoning yall. In my defense, my last mutual rs didn't end well, so NAH NEVER AGAIN
tagging my squad:
@kuroyurishion @u-know-time @geniuspepe @trashlord-007 @lovepaintt @minbinlix @hoshiwhxre @kimoonday @yeongwvnhi @malzenn @moon-typewriter @naturalogre @highponyleedo @younqjo @plasticflowering @strikingtaemin @seohopeful @nyangjo @seohoshi @leed0neus @kim-hong-joongie @squirrel-seoho @donghanies @imtheoneinmyzone and anyone else who wants to do it ^^
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dirtyrottenraskel · 4 years ago
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my take on yueki's personalities
yue 
notes / personality
cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 
kind of a nerd
maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood
books
seems soft but made of steel
strong sense of duty
socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 
aloof queen bee typa beat
supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 
deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated
untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself
political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 
distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life
patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game
excellent at pai sho / chess 
she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)
loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 
was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence
used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 
introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken
weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could
definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot
obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect
shes growing into her confidence as a leader
prefers quite intimate places
incredibly romantic
classic lit
planner for the future - visionary
kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)
INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)
Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic
sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary
friendships / relationships
(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)
sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))
katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together
toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair
zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together
aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other
clothing / aesthetic:
blues and pale colors
classy and understated wealth
like those cute feminine button down shirts
dresses
like cold weather classy
complicated braids
sort of soft girl aesthetic?
pleated skirts !!!
i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)
knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots
light academia !!!
hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay
from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 
suki
notes / personality 
extroverted 
also very strategic 
more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it
like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 
reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call
likes lively places
total bashful romantic
manages the present and the short term - realist
loves to do lists 
a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh
steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves
harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 
always ends up in the oddest situations 
totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 
dedicated to her training and her regime 
not a great cook, but she can manage 
would drink monsters 
has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other
abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 
was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 
was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 
tough/assertive/woman of action 
dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho
practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient
stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 
friendships / relationships
(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)
sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 
katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 
toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 
zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks
aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 
clothing / aesthetic
sporty and skater mixed 
ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 
green and yellow and dark red 
gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts
skirts too, likes to play into femininity
she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 
necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings
definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)
so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project
yueki’s relationship!!!
nerd/jock solidarity 
feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 
they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 
yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 
they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 
they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 
yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 
yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)
joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 
they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 
sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 
they travel EVERYWHERE 
since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 
it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 
they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 
yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 
suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 
While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 
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