#but kaidan/ashley reaction would be funny

[passiveaggressiveturkeys]

Shepard getting back together with their me1 LI in me3: oh and one last thing, I have a Krogan son now

His names Grunt

Isn’t he adorable

[urzfanclub]

<3 for isa.. thank you for such a nice comment

@isayashai ily & i was going to draw this… hopefully a little later when i can draw again

on the sr-1 happens only once.. he & tali & adams are up the catwalk to show her some of the ship’s guts so to speak… tali nervously cracks a little joke and his giggle echoes down the vents & then there’s a rumor in engineering that the ship is haunted…neither adams or tony ever correct it…adams thinks it’s funny & tony just rolls his eyes lmao

on the sr-2 I think he would unsettle anyone in the vicinity bc he’s unfortunately having a long & quiet breakdown for a lot of the game so it would come out really awful 😬 caveat would be jack thane mordin… jack is convinced he’s not really a hardass bc he smiles easily around her </3 both thane & mordin are unfreakoutable imho… most of the others would probably never hear him laugh at all

in me3 he routinely startles people bc he’s back to his me1 “stalking around in relative silence inspecting the ship” routine & overall he’s more relaxed despite the stress of the end of the world (essay redacted) so he laughs more easily. if you hear the laugh first the giggle is a lot less disconcerting bc he like. works up to it

javik & edi are both unbothered imo <3

everyone else i think, by me3, is either resigned to it (garrus liara miranda jacob samara) or secretly thinks it’s kind of endearing (ashley/kaidan wrex kasumi)

never bothers james who expected tony to laugh like that. probably thought it’d be a little lower-pitched given his speaking voice but w/e

trying to phrase this well its like steve’s known him from the start as a man who laughs & smiles a lot so no real reaction there… life as usual

joker is permanently creeped out by tony’s laugh in general…the giggle is worse + tony knows + joker knows that he knows + etc etc.

Karin of course is completely unfazed.. she’s heard him laugh a gazillion times bc she’s funny

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[ghostxofxartemis]

OC Asks #3, #15, #25, #36, and #41 please? For ALL the OCs. Please and thank you!

Thank you for asking my friend! Sorry it took so long to get to this! (Also I’ve taken out Jane and John from my ShepShep pairing, also both John’s are similar in personality -even with complete different backgrounds-, haven’t written much of them to know them as well as the others.) 

from this list here. 

3. What does their safe space look like?

John: Is his team, his family. They’ve all seen him at his best and at his worst and not once thought bad of him at his worst. They all saw how much pressure he was under during the war, but they were also there with him and know he’s only human and was pushed beyond his limits. They were able to see him as Commander Shepard, but also AS Shepard. They are the only people he feels he can be himself with. Especially Ashley, she witnesses a lot more when they are alone- a lot of nightmares out of survival guilt that truly never go away. His cabin is another safe spot for him. He likes to stand by the fish tank and just watch them swim around mindlessly. 

Alex: Finds her safe space in her family. When you think about it, she’s pretty much been a nomad her whole life. Born on the Normandy and spending her time split between the ship, the apartment on the Citadel, and Grissom Academy it’s difficult to find a steady safe space. As long as mom, dad, and little brother Kaidan are around, she knows she can find someone to talk to and to feel safe with. 

Leah: is Kaidan. Kaidan is her Safe Space. She can’t explain why, because it was suppose to be so. But She doesn’t feel safe unless he’s around. It was something she found out while on Mars when they were finally together again as as a team (not a couple yet still) that she truly felt someone had her back. Doesn’t mean to say she doesn’t trust the other friends from the original Normandy, but there’s just something about Kaidan, he’s the only one she’ll let her guard down with, and feel comfortable pouring out her feelings that have been buried a long time.

Reagan: she finds a safe space in her cabin during the war while Coats isn’t there. Otherwise, she found a safe place with him once they overcame their differences (funny enough their difference are actually very similar). 

Axel: Is space. He’s a spacer, something about being on the ground makes him on high alert. He feels to exposed, and feels there’s too many opportunities for traps or ambushes - this feeling came along more after Elysium while on Shore Leave and the attack came. He doesn’t like living on Earth very much, but he does it for Kaidan. That’s why they found a home more secluded along the ocean. He doesn’t feel safe unless Kaidan is home watching his six. 

15. What is the first thing people notice about them?

John, people just crush all over him. He’s just has that captivating aura about him that make people turn head quickly notice him. But he just has that commanding, leadership presence that’s hard to miss. 

Alex, is her bright blue eyes and her freckles. People will automatically associate her with Commander Shepard because she has John’s blue eyes, and she’s mastered his powerful commanding presence - a presence pretty much everyone knows right away. She has that same commanding stare he has and people notice that.  But also, she has bubbly personality and that’s another thing people notice, her personally is very capturing to others. She’s a very happy kid.

Leah and Reagan, would be there scars. Their cybernetics scares are pretty intimidating, but also they both have glare that can make people shake in their boots. 

 Axel, like John people crush all over him, but also, probably just his very friendly personality. I haven’t really considered much for him. 

25. What are somethings they find difficult to do? Or say?

Oof, 

John has a hard time opening up about his past. Especially the lost of his mother. When people ask him about it, he tends to shut down, it’s too much of a sensitive touchy subject for him. He’s not proud of his past self. 

Alex, is stubborn like both parents, and isn’t afraid to say things as is. Probably takes that more from her mother. Having Shepard and Williams blood flowing through you will do that lol. 

Leah, expressing her feelings. She does everything to push everyone away because she doesn’t want to lose more people. Even with Kaidan sometimes it’s hard for her to express her feelings many years after the war. She’ll use touch instead, Kaidan learns the “I just want to cuddle touch” vs the “it’s sexy time touch” he never pushes her to express her feelings. 

Reagan, doesn’t care what people think of her, so she has no issues saying it as is and being aggressive. A lot of times, she was the one sent to come get your money during her Red days. She’s very scary, but also knows how to play the “you can trust me” act.

Axel,  has a hard time saying no. He learns to eventually, especially during the early years of becoming an officer in the Alliance. But he was raised to always please “yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am, no ma’am.” 

36. Tell us something about your OC that doesn’t make it onto the page?

For this one, I haven’t written enough of Leah, Reagan and Axel to answer this one for them. 

But for John his and Ashley’s sex life if very downplayed. Probably down from rated R to M? If that makes any kind of sense. 

for Alex hmmm that’s a good question... I guess I haven’t written enough of her either to decide. Though I have noticed her friendship with her brother hasn’t been mentioned a lot yet. They’re very close since they spent a lot of time together on the ship and are the only kids on there, so they had only each other to play with when the crew was on duty. 

41. Your character has been punched into the face. What’s their reaction?

John after recovering from the shock would probably put them in armlock and keep them pinned until the authority arrives. Unless Ashley is around they tend to take matters in their own hands lol.

Alex, she’ll knock them off their feet and walk away. If they come after her again, she’ll punch you back.

Reagan,  she’ll automatically punch you back, then grab them by the collar and pin them and threaten them. 

Leah,  her biotics will flare, that usually tends to make them back off and no further action required.

Axel, his biotics would probably flare too, but he’ll usually try to talk them down first before doing anything. 

Thanks for asking!! 

[mass-effect-galaxy]

Why Kaidan had to die

Jeanne Shepard was the second Shepard I had created, means a Shepard with a story and character of her own, making choices fitting that character (and not what I like or what is best for game-progress). Meanwhile, I have five of them.

My idea for Jeanne was Colonist, Infiltrator, War Hero: She grew up on a farm on Mindoir. She always was good with computers and was able to re-program farming mecs at the age of 12, a task her father was struggling with. This saved her life because when the batarians hit Mindoir she was out in the fields repairing mecs.

Her motivation to join the Alliance was not simply looking for revenge. She wished to be able to fight and protect so that others wouldn’t have to suffer what she did. However, the Alliance had tagged her for the engineering corps. Jeanne didn’t want that, started training like crazy until she was good enough for the marines. She even was the first woman to successfully master the N7 program. The nerdy Jeanne from Mindoir with her black curls had turned into a short-haired elite soldier.

  To me, it was clear she had to be straight and not interested in aliens. Originally I had planned her to be a blunt racist but after now four playthroughs her attitude is much more refined and Garrus even is her best friend. However, she still is not interested in aliens “that way”. At this point, I didn’t know that being a straight female Shepard in Mass Effect is more difficult than appeasing the reapers.

Choices are limited from the start, so Jeanne started romancing Kaidan. Their flirting scenes in ME1 are some of the best romances dialogues in Mass Effect. I could envision them as a totally normal couple (despite their crazy jobs) living in a suburban house somewhere where people would be able to understand Kaidan without subtitles.

And then Ashley died on Virmire, and Shepard died in a Collector attack, and Kaidan was the only one left. When Jeanne woke up again two years later, about the first thing she did was searching for Kaidan, “where is Kaidan Alenko?”, “have you seen Kaidan?”, “where is Lieutenant Alenko?”, “what do you mean ‘classified’?”. Then she finally tracked him down to Horizon, when the colony already was under a Collector attack. Like a hellcat, Shepard rushed through Horizon, “Kaidan?”, “Where are you?”. She was hit more than a dozen times and was totally high from medigel when she finally found him.

At this point, the entire romance arc goes south. With Jeanne Shepard’s background and motivation, it was clear that she had to join Cerberus to protect the colonies from the Collectors. If Kaidan wasn’t able to understand it, he probably never was in love with Shepard but rather with an idol of a woman that only existed in his head. His mail completely sealed it: if you care about her, you don’t tell a colony kid that never had the opportunity to visit a university that you are now dating a doctor.

This freed Shepard for other options...

Yes, of course, I knew that there was someone else waiting for Jacob, but Jeanne didn’t know that. Apart from that, Shepard’s vamp-flirting with Jacob is totally worth it. “Do I make you nervous, Mr. Taylor?” - priceless.

So, Shepard rode the suicide mission with Jacob only to learn that she was nothing but a fling to him. Poor Shepard. But why not? Shepard might be someone with nothing but bad luck with men - or someone attracting bad men. What I did not like was Shepard’s weak reaction when being cheated on by Jacob and jerked around by Brynne. There is an additional scene on the Silversun Strip where Shepard knocks Jacob down for it, but I wouldn’t see a reason why Shepard should be meeting Jacob after Arrea at all.

So, let’s give Kaidan a second change. Unfortunately, he doesn’t change to the better. Shepard somehow constantly had to apologize: for dying, for being resurrected, for working with Cerberus, for having something with Jacob after having been shot down by Kaidan. Thanks, Kaidan, now I am the one with the headaches.  

For the next playthrough with Jeanne, a few changes were due: the ME1 romance with Kaidan remained, nothing wrong with that. The flirting with Jacob was cut short before it got serious. And in ME3, Shepard didn’t take Kaidan back but went for the only possible romance with a human left:

So much for “straight femshep”. However, Traynor turned out to be the perfect match: another colony kid, a bit nerdy, funny, upright. She also has the vision of normal life, a house somewhere nice, a dog, two kids - exactly what I saw in Shepard and Kaidan.

Though something was odd with Kaidan. While he does have lines for any other romances Shepard might have been together with since Horizon, Traynor was somewhat forgotten. Kaidan did neither comment on that nor his ex-girlfriend now being with another woman at all. And in general, the situation with Shepard and Traynor making out on the upper deck and Kaidan staring into his beer two decks below felt somewhat wrong.

And that’s why Kaidan had to die: In Mass Effect 1, Jeanne is romancing Kaidan. She is dreaming of a normal life with him, but he dies on Vimire (also the start of the enmity with Ashley). That way, he never becomes the ass he is to her later. In Mass Effect 2, she is flirting with Jacob, but senses something’s wrong there and cuts it short. She does have a fling with Kelly, though. That way her romancing Traynor, in the end, is not some kind of late coming out, but she has always been bi.

She is still thinking a lot about Kaidan, but these are only good memories.

And that’s about going through all human romances in one playthrough. Or did I miss someone?

[maxrev]

My half of the art/fic trade with @th3morrigan/ @blasteddoodles! Her half, the amazing art of Kaidan and my Knox Shepard, can be found here. Never done this before and it was a lot of fun. Thank you for letting me take your Gabe Shepard for a spin in a one-shot ;)

Entering the cargo bay, Kaidan stopped short. He’d hoped to have it to himself. Ashley and Wrex were in the mess and Garrus had passed by him earlier, asking if he’d seen Tali. Kaidan had mentioned he’d seen her in engineering. Quickly changing into shorts, sneakers, and a tank top, he’d grabbed a towel and ridden the elevator down here. The last few missions had been frustrating and he needed an outlet. The cause? The Normandy’s newly appointed CO - Commander Gabe Shepard.

Their fighting styles meshed very well out on the battlefield. However, Kaidan didn’t always approve of how the missions were carried out. He was a by-the-book Alliance soldier and believed rules were put in place for a reason. Shepard seemed to throw them out the window in favor of...well, whatever he thought of right on the spot. The man was reckless and there were times Kaidan felt like the Commander put himself in the line of fire on purpose. Even if it was from a distance. How he accomplished that, Kaidan hadn’t figured out. He was usually too busy fighting his own battles and trying to make sure his CO wasn’t killed by stupidity.

The exact same man he’d just been thinking of was down here now. Alone. Working out. Kaidan had been hoping to do the same...also alone.

Watching his Commander covertly, his thoughts turned to what he knew about him. Quite a bit of his background could be found on the extranet: the only child of military parents, never in one place for any length of time. He’d joined right out of high school at eighteen, probably wanting to follow in their footsteps. He was also an N7, the best of the best and a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield. The Commander was also a War Hero, receiving the Star of Terra - almost single-handedly saving colonists and fellow soldiers when batarian forces invaded Elysium.

Bravery and heroism went hand in hand with his name. Like many of the soldiers Kaidan had talked to, he figured the Commander was just another military brat looking to carve his family’s name into the history books - by any means possible.

He watched the Commander move fluidly around the cargo bay despite his stocky build. Kaidan considered himself sturdy, muscular, but Shepard exceeded even that. His hair was shaved closely to his skull. Though he couldn’t see from here, he recalled the scars that crossed those full lips and eyes a startling blue-ish, violet hue. Shaking himself from the turn of his thoughts, Kaidan moved back towards the elevator.

“Going somewhere, Staff Lieutenant?”

Kaidan stopped just inside the elevator. So much for being unobserved. Turning, he assessed Shepard, trying to figure out his mood. His face and body language were completely unreadable. “I…um...came down to workout. Didn’t realize someone...you...had beat me to it. Sorry, Commander.”

He received a noncommittal shrug in return, “Don’t leave on my account. Come over and join me.”

Unsure what exactly he was getting into, Kaidan nonetheless left the elevator and walked over to Shepard. Setting his towel on a bench, he waited to see what was expected of him.

Hands on hips, Shepard eyed him up and down, “You spar?”

Pushing aside his odd reaction to being studied so thoroughly, he nodded. Sparring wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind. He didn’t consider himself very accurate at the skills needed to trade punches and dance around your partner. Still, best to humor his Commander.

“Sure.”

Shepard narrowed his eyes, “You don’t seem very confident about it.”

“It’s not my...usual...method of exercise. It’ll do, though...sir.” Kaidan got into position: fisted his hands, knees bent, arms held loosely as he waited for Shepard.

“Let’s see what you’ve got then, LT.”

Wasting no time, Shepard moved quickly, throwing the first punches. Unprepared, Kaidan rushed to block, barely avoiding a solid hit.

“Nice block. Got anything to back it up?”

Kaidan threw out a couple of jabs, Shepard blocking them. “Maybe.” This wasn’t so bad after all. He could probably learn to enjoy this. With the right person anyway.

They continued to trade jabs back and forth, neither of them scoring a hit. Kaidan’s eyes kept straying to Shepard’s body, trying to assess and anticipate his movements. He was ogling his CO but at least he had a reason. Right? The t-shirt he wore was wet with sweat, clinging to every dip and valley, showing off a body in excellent shape. He could now see the scars on those lips, close as they were. The clean smell of sweat and a lingering scent of cologne drifted over to him.

Distracted by the view, Shepard connected with a hit to his jaw, taking Kaidan by surprise, head whipping back with the hit. “Preoccupied, LT? Credit for your thoughts?”

Even though his appraisal was on Kaidan’s weaknesses, he felt himself flush with where his thoughts led. Wait, why should he feel embarrassed? Shepard didn’t know his thoughts. Stalling, he wiped the trickle of blood from his nose, “Just assessing your style, sir.”

Those amazing colored eyes stared at him for several seconds, the thoughts inside his head not showing on his face. He finally spoke, “Sir? We’re trading punches, Alenko. Just Shepard.”

Kaidan grinned, “Okay...Just Shepard.”

The Commander laughed, surprising him. He’d never heard his CO laugh before. “Funny.”

They stood for a few seconds, catching their breath. Kaidan moved quickly but Shepard moved faster, avoiding the jabs, though not completely. He’d tagged the ribs at least, satisfied to hear a solid grunt from the impact.

“Just trying to lighten the mood.”

Shepard’s head tilted a fraction, “Lighten it? I didn’t know this was serious.” They traded a few more jabs, “So, correct me if I’m wrong here...but you do like following the rules, am I right? I’ve also noticed you prefer to keep to yourself and share little of your background.”

He’d noticed? Since when? Kaidan hadn’t ever seen - or felt - like he was being watched. Or maybe Shepard was just very good at watching from the shadows, observing others and taking notes without them ever knowing. His style was infiltration after all. It made perfect sense.

“Is that a problem, sir?”

“Trying to keep it formal, are you? Stand down, Alenko, take it easy. A good Commander knows his crew. I know mine. Am I wrong?”

“No, si--uh, Shepard.”

That smile again. Kaidan felt his thoughts about the Commander begin to shift. He jabbed a couple more times, missing on each one. The last one, he moved back swiftly, grinning. Clearly, he was out of his depth against his CO.

“I get the feeling you don’t care for me much, Alenko. Why is that?”

Did he really want to know what Kaidan truly thought? Probably not. Sometimes, telling the truth wasn’t always the best option, though Kaidan preferred not to lie - especially to his CO.

“Give me the truth. I’m a grown man, I can take it. Besides, I want honesty from those serving with me. Always.”

“The truth then?” He was blocked again, even as Shepard nodded. “Fine. I think you are…” he hesitated. When Shepard nodded for him to continue, he did, “you’re reckless, taking too many chances by putting your life on the line. By doing so, you put our lives on the line as well, having to fight and keep you alive as well. You want to die? Fine. Just don’t take all of us with you while on a personal vendetta.”

Fired up with anger and frustration, Kaidan lost his focus, so wasn’t prepared for the next hits to land successfully. Ribs on fire, nose bleeding again, he shook his head to clear it. Shepard stood across from him, smile wiped away, replaced with a serious demeanor. The truth hadn’t set well with him. He’d had been pretty sure it wouldn’t but Shepard hadn’t wanted him pulling punches. So to speak. He avoided the next couple of jabs easily, eyes intent on his partner.

“So you have a problem with my fighting style then? The way I do things?”

He’d just said as much but seeing how it affected his CO, he opted for standing down, “No, sir.”

Shepard didn’t believe him for a minute but did relax a bit, sighing, “Shit. Sorry Alenko. I did say I wanted honesty.”

They continued to dance, neither of them actually connecting. Kaidan agreed. “You did.”

Shepard nodded, “Okay. Just remember this: I am the Commander. As such, I am in charge and while I don’t plan on putting my crew in danger at any time, I will do whatever it takes to win this war. Are we clear?”

“Crystal...sir.”

He watched those blue-violet eyes narrow at the return to being formal And suddenly, Kaidan found himself flipping feet over ass, seeing the ground rise up to meet him before staring at the ceiling, then landing on the floor, breath knocked out of him. His eyes refocused, connected with Shepard as he came into view, their faces inches apart. Both of them were breathing hard.

“I told you, right now we’re on even ground.” A sudden grin, “Well, mostly. When we’re not in the field or discussing a mission in the war room, ‘Shepard’ is all I want to hear from those lips.” His eyes slipped down to Kaidan’s mouth and back up. “That’s an order.”

Lost in those intense, beautifully colored eyes, Kaidan nodded. “Yes, si---uh, Shepard.”

Grasping Kaidan’s hand in his, Shepard pulled him up. Damn but the man was strong. They ended up face to face...so very close. Their eyes met and Kaidan felt something shift inside him but couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out what. Then Shepard stepped back and the feeling was gone.

“I would never jeopardize my team in any way, Kaidan.” He spoke quietly, let go of Kaidan’s hand, and left the cargo bay.

Kaidan stood there for several minutes, trying to process the whole encounter. What he finally took away from it was this: he was beginning to feel something for his Commander. And it wasn’t strictly ‘by the books.’

[thessalian]

Thess vs Tough Choices

Okay, I am going to have a long one about this, because it is something that Bioware needs to take to heart. It has been trying different variations on the same theme because of one success and they seem to have missed the point - the thing that made that one success actually successful.

Look. Here’s the thing. If you actually want to make a player character choose between two companions, knowing that one of them will die ... make it matter to the player character. To demonstrate how to do that, I will use the one example wherein Bioware actually did it right, and compare it to the places they didn’t.

Because we all know what that was, right? Mass Effect 1. Ashley, or Kaidan?

Here’s why that worked:

By the point in Mass Effect 1 wherein we had to decide who to go back for, we’d had a full game wherein we were ICly and OOCly attached to these two, and there was just about enough hope that we could save both of them that the first playthrough was a fucking gut-wrench. And it never got any easier. Were you the pragmatic type who didn’t necessarily go back for an individual companion but went for the bomb? If so, how hard a time did you have picking who was going to back up the team on the bomb? Either way, you spent the whole game knowing that one of those two wasn’t coming out alive, and you bonded with them anyway, both as yourself playing the game, and as Shepard.

Compare and contrast with Dragon Age: Inquisition. Hell, we have an issue right from the start where it’s a toss-up as to who actually goes along on the trip through the Fade anyway. But either way, these are people you’ve never met. If it’s Stroud who accompanies Hawke ... it’s this nonentity of a Warden who more or less lucked out and got away. If it’s Alistair ... the only difference is that he’s less ‘nonentity’ and more ‘bastard son of the last King and companion to the Hero of Ferelden’. That’s what you-as-Inquisitor know, anyway. But the divide is there - ICly, maybe you’re going to save a Warden because the Wardens need rebuilding, or maybe you’re going to save Hawke because Varric would fall apart if anything happened to this person he’d sworn to keep out of this Inquisition nugshit and the nonentity wasn’t about to pull the Wardens together anyway ... but OOCly you’re sitting there with characters you got attached to on two different levels and deciding which to send to the chopping block - the guy you probably romanced at least once as another character ... or the character who, not so long ago, was an extension of you. Wrenching OOCly ... but ICly, Hawke is just ‘the Champion of Kirkwall and Varric’s friend’.

Don’t even get me started on TOR’s Knights of the Eternal Throne expansion. Unless you were playing one of two very specific classes, you spent all of a one-hour mission with each of the companions you had to choose between, and anyone else was going to have a basic reaction of, “Wait, why do I care, again?” Bioware was at that point relying entirely on the fact that most players would have tried several class stories and thus have an attachment to both. The problem with that is that appealing entirely to the OOC attachment without trying to shore it up with an equal or at least similar IC attachment completely destroys immersion. It did it in DA:I. It did it in TOR. ICly I’m supposed to care but don’t have reasons to in the same way as I do OOC; OOCly I care but for all the wrong reasons in terms of the actual story campaign.

So effectively, they’re focusing on the player rather than the character. It’s really starting to show, now. Which is funny to complain about as a bad thing, but in terms of actual story, it’s a death knell. “People love these characters; we’ll make them choose! It worked great in Mass Effect!” Except our characters loved Kaidan and Ashley. Our characters barely knew Stroud, Alistair or Hawke. They knew even less about Vette and Torian, who were selected apparently at random from a cast of dozens. Seriously, if TOR had really wanted to make it a situation, they should have picked ones who’ve been with us from the beginning. Lana and Theron, for instance. Yeah, they’d have to do without one of them in story campaign later, but it would fucking matter. And if we’d had some missions with Hawke or Stroud or Alistair, somehow - some way to get attached to them ICly before facing that choice - it would have mattered a lot more.

I’ve more or less given up on TOR being immersive. They’re focused way too hard on the player experience, however hamfisted they’re being about it, and way too little on any kind of story ... probably because of the massive corner they’ve written themselves into. Dragon Age? Inquisition tried, but was a little bit shaky on some parts in terms of the whole ‘immersion’ thing (because honestly, who did the Hissing Wastes for a full-on completionist thing and didn’t think, “Why the fuck am I doing this?”; the quasi-open world set-up did that game no favours, and I can think of at least five ways it could have been improved to make full completion ... not necessary but beneficial ... from a story perspective but never mind). I have the fear for Mass Effect: Andromeda; I really do. It looks fantastic, but I haven’t heard anything about the story and Bioware’s track record is getting shakier all the time.

For me, Bioware has ceased to be interchangeable with ‘great story and writing’. That is a fucking tragedy.

(Also yes I should be working but fuck it, I have busted my ass most of the week doing three people’s jobs and I DESERVE A BREAK.)